#mr. roaster

[krislgfox]

I suddenly remembered about my own fandom(in which no one but me is a member of :_]) and about my own characters :_]

Also, kinda a bit working at the lore :_]

(Sorry for bad english)

[thedivineden]

Purrfect

pairing: Shota Aizawa x Hybrid!Cat

genre: Fluff x Smut

words: 3k+

notes: coworkers, hybrid cat, car sex, choking, blood, biting, breeding, exhibitionism, voyeurism

Hybrids are a normal sight in U.A, there is nothing in particular that sets any of them apart. Except you, a new hire from overseas. The day you arrived, Hizashi was forcing Shota to the library, he knew for a fact once Shoto laid his eyes on you he’d be hooked.

Boy was he right.

You were a vision of perfection from head to toe. You were sitting with your legs crossed with your tail flicking behind you. Your excitement made his hands sweat and his ears hot. Your jewelry intensifying your already obvious beauty. You were sitting with your legs crossed with your tail flicking behind you.

He especially loved your black pointed ears adorned with silver and gold. When you stood up to greet the two men, Shota could hardly keep from reaching out to stroke your ears.

Hizashi was being his usual bubbly self, asking you questions about your quirk and what you used to do before coming a teacher at U.A. but Shoto couldn’t even muster up the courage to say hello. He hid behind his scarf trying to contain his face from turning red. “SHOTA MY MAN! WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?!” Hizashi had knew what effect this would have on his poor friend and he was loving every minute of it.

“Hello, Welcome to U.A. hopefully you can be a competent addition to our team” Shota has regretted that statement since that day he’s met you. He noticed the grimace spread across your face morph into a half smile. Sweetly you responded “Nice to meet you gentlemen but I should really get back to work.” Making your way through the two men, especially Shota couldn’t help but watch you tail swish behind you accentuating your curvy figure.

After that day Shota didn’t see you for a week he would find himself walking past your office everyday. It wasn’t until his interest was subsiding did he see you in his classroom — his whole body felt like it was on fire, his eyes scanned your whole body starting at his favorite part. Your ears. The way they flicked while you read the roaster for the class calling his students out one by one made the front of his pants tight.

The rest of your body is just as perfect from your silky brown skin to your coily hair framing your adorable round face. Everything about you is intoxicating and Shota wants a taste. He finally musters to walk in the class to be greeted by the students but most importantly you. “Good Morning Mr.Aizawa, Principle Nezu assigned me to the wrong class. I ended up being placed with Mr. Hiro but I couldn’t understand a word he was saying.” You ended your statement with a small giggle which made Shota fall for you harder. Why did you have to be so damn cute.

Shota didn’t realize how much silenced until your friendly demeanor turned into a reserved one. Quickly getting himself together he laughs sharply at your response causing you to jump, some of the students to puzzled looks and some to giggle. You laugh nervously stepping out of his way allowing him to walk past you and sit at his desk. For the remainder of the day you were practically glued by his side, your proximity made him squirm. He couldn’t even focus on his students because whenever he heard you laugh or instruct one of them his eyes were glued on you.

However, once the students went to lunch you brought a chair right next to his desk and proceeded to bring out two bento boxes. “I made too much this morning and brought two. “Don’t mind the dog shaped rice ball I thought I was going to be with Mr.Hiro today” opening the bento box Shota couldn’t help but laugh at the awkwardly shaped rice balls. “Heyyy! What’s funny? I worked really hard on those!”

He placed a hand on your thigh giving it a gentle squeeze attempting to reassure you.

“I assure you these rice balls are perfect just like you.” He took note of the way your ears flattened and your tail wrap around you. Removing his hand he grabs the chopsticks inside of the box picking up the rice ball giving you a soft smile. During the entire lunch hour you and Shota sat in silence except for the praises he would give you on the various items you packed in the lunch box.

The next few weeks went the same, you would bring a chair over to his desk and give him a bento box full of food. Except, you two started talking more and the more Shota learned about you, the more he wished you were his. He started to notice the way your ears would flick and your tail would swish in his presence but remain content with everyone else. He makes you nervous and he plans to use that to his advantage.

“Miss? Can I bother you for a moment” there’s no way in the world that Shota could bother you and you were trying your hardest to make sure you didn’t tell him that. “Yes Mr. Aizawa? What can I assist you with?” He didn’t say another word before taking out a medium velvet box and opening it to reveal a necklace adorned diamonds along the collar with a diamond bell shining on the end.

Your heart tightened seeing the gorgeous item “It’s beautiful, Whoever this is for is very lucky!” your heart twinges. You thought over the past couple of weeks you and him were getting close. He could see your ears hang low and your tail wrap around you. “It’s for you.” he said this without looking you in the eye grabbing the chain. Shota stand up and comes close to you, unlatching the clasp and instructs you to turn around.

Obeying his command you feel him lean over you to wrap the piece of jewelry around your neck clasping it. His smell is overpowering and his proximity makes you dizzy. His hands move from the back of your neck caressing your shoulders gently. Finally making their way to your arms placing you in a firm grip. A small yelp emerges from you which pleases Shota — he brings you closer now wrapping his toned arms around you. His breath on your neck flusters you and makes your skin hot.

Closing your eyes in anticipation you ears start to flick, not only at Shota and the compromising situation you’re in but you can now also hear someone coming down the hall. Frantic you whisper to him “Shota! Shota! I think someone is coming!” Attempting to wiggle out his grasp only for him to grip you harder. He plants soft kisses where the jewelry is shining on your neck — the adrenaline and his kisses are making you weak and lightheaded.

“Try to relax darling” the sultry tone in is voice sent shivers up up your body making your tail fluff up. His teeth graze the side of your neck making your eyes close in anticipation. You can feel his lips change shape and his tongue trail up and down your neck. Nibbling each time attempting to savor this moment. Once he heard the bell Shota put a considerable distance between you two.

Not even a minute later his star student is opening the door instructing everyone to sit down. It felt like eyes were on you as you tried to defluff your tail. The remainder of the day you kept your distance from Shota and this pissed him off. You excused yourself to the bathroom ten minutes after the kids got back from lunch and haven’t been seen since.

Shota even sent a handful of his students to retrieve you from the restroom but each one came back with the same results. “She’s not in there Mr.Aizawa” he was beyond confused. Shota kept an eye out for you all day only when the day ended is when he saw you. There you were standing in front of the window of the teachers lounge, ears down, twisting and turning the bell adorned on your neck.

The sunset reflecting off of you made you look angelic. Shota couldn’t help but admire the slight crease that appears on your forehead every time the bell jingles. He adored looking at you and even when you were doing nothing, you found a way to be breathtaking.

You can feel a hand on the small of your back causing you to turn around and once again you’re in a enclosed space with your coworker. His other hand caresses the side of your face, using his fingers to tilt your head up. “I apologize. I never want to be the cause of your agitation.”

Staring into each other eyes makes your furrow increase and your cheeks burn. It felt like you were under his spell as his tired eyes bore into yours. He makes you shrink while also making you feel seen. “ I accept your apology but don’t you think this is a little inappropriate?” without batting an eye he replied with a firm no.

“Shota I’m not entirely sure what you want from me.” He didn’t say anything just held you in place, slowly closing the distance between you two. Carelessly you let him do it closing your eyes, your mind was racing you could only focus on the way he pulled you in. “Will you let me take you out?”

Opening your eyes you could see a slight tint on his cheeks. Surprisingly, enough you weren’t the only one that is nervous. “I would be delighted to go out with you Shota.” Leaning over slight he places a kiss on your cheek finally giving you your space. “We’re leaving together Friday. Don’t worry about going home, you look good in everything.”

He left without another word leaving you alone with your thoughts again. For the remainder of the week you two continued on as normal. As normal as two coworkers who spend their lunch tucked away in a classroom playing footsies and eating the lunch you each prepared for one another.

Even due to unforeseen circumstances you two managed to keep your distance until Friday. You made yourself scarce that day, attending meetings with principal and going around to assist other instructors. It wasn’t until the final bell rang and the halls were empty is when Shota finally laid his eyes on you.

There you were standing next to that window —instead of seeing agitation across your face, he could see anxiety and excitement bubbling up inside you. Shota didn’t even think about changing but wish he had once he laid his eyes on you. His eyes trailing up you body starting at the slender black heels you have on.

When eyeing your legs he couldn’t help but notice how soft and supple they look, he fantasizes about laying on them, massaging, and being buried in between them. Your pencil black skirt stops at your mid thigh which you meticulously paired with a silky dark green blouse. You were holding your tail delicately running your fingers through it. Everything about you made his body hot and his dick twitch.

What he wouldn’t give to run his fingers your tail and knead your ears until you purr for him. Once he stepped into the lounge your ears perk up making your head his way. “Good evening Shota, sorry I wasn’t there to exchange lunch with you!”

“It’s fine kitten! Let’s go, we’re going to be late for our showing” putting a hand on the small of you back he leads you all the way to his car door. For weeks you gushed to Shota about your love for black and white films and drive-in movies. He distinctly remembered the films you talked about the most, how you always wanted have a date there but never had the times because of school.

That’s when he realized what he loved about you the most. Watching you talk about something you love is like watching the sun come up. You were so excited telling him about the variety of films they had and how you’d always end up knowing how it ends. The entire time he observed you and your mannerism — the way your pupils expand and your ears flick, the sight of your tail feverishly swinging behind you. That’s why he wanted to do this for you, to see you like that because of him, to see how much he yearns for you.

The car ride there felt like you two were in the classroom again. Instead of footsies, Shota kept his hand on your thigh the entire ride and always giving in a squeeze whenever you two stopped. It wasn’t until you two arrived at Musutafu Park. Shota found a secluded corner near the screen so you be unseen by others and still be able to see the movie. “Let’s move to the backseat.”

Being the practical man he is, Shota opens his door to get out until he felt leg bump into his arm. Turning to look at you he gets a eyeful of your butt and a smack to the face with your tail as you climb in the backseat. He didn’t hesitate to close his door back and climb to the back with you. Shota made sure to prepare everything almost a replication of how you described it.

He had place blockers in the back windows so no one can see you two, snacks for you and him, and blankets draping the backseat. You didn’t say anything at first just silently admiring his effort and that’s when you see it. Tucked into the backs of candy is a flyer for a black and white movie showing ‘The Fated Lovers’. Scooting close to him you while stating “This is so sweet Shota! It’s perfect and they’re playing my favorite movie!”

He wouldn’t tell you that he paid the teen at the ticket booth to play your favorite. Instinctively he wraps his arm around you closing the distance between you two. Throughout the movie you two shared laughs towards the film and as usual Shota is asking questions about you. He wants to know everything about you down to the last minuscule detail.

You two got so lost in each other that you didn’t realize what scene is playing until you hear the sound of a woman moan. Turning your attention to the screen watching the escapade unfold. You watch as the two people fight for dominance with their mouths while ripping off each others clothes.

Shota is watching you like a hawk — he’s watching the way your ears flick and go low, he notices how your rapid tail movement slows down, and lastly he could feel how hot your body is. Your body is so reactive and it’s making it harder not to bend you over the console and fuck you.

He didn’t want to impose on you more than he already has. The feeling of your warm hand travel up his thigh shocks Shota in place. You stop short at the base of his cock squeezing the most inner part of his thigh. He jumps on you after this — entrapping you under him you can feel his hand roaming all over, he places a kiss on your supple lips before lightly sucking the bottoms of your lip.

Shota wants your consent verbally and non verbally. He wants to hear you give yourself to him while your body shows how much you want him. His kisses makes you feel juvenile, Shota is gentle but passionate. You two fight for dominance with your tongues — sucking, biting, and licking one another in between kisses.

Shota sees you’re ears rapidly flicking and he took the opportunity to knead them. You purr under him immediately making the bulge in his pants stiffen. Removing his lips and hands from you — he sits up looking straight at you he says, “Am I allowed to have you?” and without another word you sit up with him taking off your shirt and skirt.

“I want to hear you say it doll, say that I can have you”

You’ve never felt so exposed and seen at the same time. He stares at you with low eyes, admiring every part of you. “You can have me Shota, all of me..” He gently laid you back hovering over you once more. His hands knead at your sides as he leans towards your neck. Kissing and sucking Shota leaves a trail of saliva down your neck to your cushy v-line.

He didn’t waste anytime putting his hands under your knees pushing your legs out and forward to give him a full view of your soaking cunt. “It’s beautiful love.” He didn’t hesitate to bring his face close and drag his tongue through your folds. Between his stubble and his eagerness to devour you everything about him makes your core throb with excitement.

His tongue is precise and slow, everything he does makes your clit throb. You can feel the rough pads of his fingers touch your lip. His eyes are looking up at you like he’s commanding you with his gaze. Opening your mouth his rough pads slide past your lips massaging his finger with your saliva. Removing his slick coated fingers from your mouth, Shota tease your hole before slowly sliding one finger inside then another.

Your hips buck and tail fluffs at the insertion — Shota is watching your body closely, sucking and fingering your cunt just the way you like. You didn’t know what to focus on. His fingers made your cunt tighten and your heat build up. “Shota, please- go faster” he hummed in response gradually picking up pace. His tongue became more calculated in its movement and his fingers curled and pumped feverishly.

Your tail snapped around his neck pushing his face closer. The soft feeling of your fur on his neck made him moan into your heat causing you to release on his face. You jump up pushing Shota back — he couldn’t get a word in when hurriedly release his cock from his pants freeing his erection. You stare in awe at his long shaft, taking note of the significant girth he has. You can hear him clear his throat looking up at him you see the blush across his face “Did anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare?

“I didn’t count you as the shy type Mr.Aizawa, Do I make you nervous?” You smile make his dick jump, hell everything about you makes his mind, heart, and dick throb. He doesn’t even realize he’s saying something before “You’re perfect” falls put of his mouth. Your eyes light up and before he can say anything else, your mouth is on his tip, swirling your tongue around the angry mushroom. Pretty moans from the man bless your ears and making your cunt throb.

He could barely keep his eyes open as you envelope your tongue around his shaft. His voice is low and whiny “You’re-you’re doing so great” — you hum in response the vibrations makes Shota buck his hips up. For a moment you choke taking everything in at once. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I couldn’t-“ you hum in response refusing to come up for air.

Your speed picks up, you can feel his legs shake and saliva coat your chin. He could see your hand wipe your chin and grasp his scrotum. The sensation of you deepthroating and massaging his testis is overwhelming. You hear him whimper, plea, and moan out for you. “Please kitten~ don’t stop.”

You can feel his member throb before he releases in your mouth. You don’t hesitate to swallow his nut coming face to face with him “Want to know how you taste?” Nodding his head up and down you use your tail to bring him close kissing him passionately. “I like the way you taste Shota, can I taste more of you” your eyes are full of lust he nods in agreement.

You climb on top of him coming close to his collar. He feels your tongue slide along his collarbone and up his neck. Opening your mouth you bite the side of his neck making sure to break the top layer of skin. Shota winces at the pain feeling his body swelter. “You taste so sweet. Let me make you feel good” you line your cunt to his tip and slowly descend on dick. You were teasing him now, you would start with his tip, and slowly slid to the middle of his shaft and bounce.

Shota could only take so much, your cunt was warm and soaking — he wanted nothing more than to slam into you and fuck you until his dick is numb. This is true bliss. All it took was for you to slam down fully taking him in for Shota to launch forward.

He wraps his arms around you to keep you in place, he looks up at you and smiles. “You’re being naughty now. Let me take over” you can feel his hips move achingly slow, he wants to savor this moment with you. “Shota~ faster..please” he wants to remember the feeling of you, how you smell, how you cunt feels convulsing around his member.

When picking up the pace he can feel you tightening around him. Wrapping your legs around him you’re able to match his rhythm. Your forehead meet his then your lips. Only the muffled sounds of moans and whimpers can be heard from you both. You two are ravaging each other and the smell of sex heavy in the air. He can feel your long nails dig into his back and your legs tighten around him.

“Be a good kitten for me, don’t bit me too hard” you can feel his rough hands grip your tail and pull it. You bite his bottom lip in response squirting on his lap. This doesn’t slow his pace, Shota continues to bully your cunt, hitting that sweet spot over, and over, and over. “Shotaaa~ I can’t- I can’t-“ letting go of your tail he places his hand on your neck holding you in place while he fucks you. The sound of the bell on your neck pushes him further.

His eyes never leave yours, you can see his resolve crumbling and his release approaching. Your moans were stifled but loud. He groans as he releases inside of you still keeping you close and your neck in place. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rough with you” he lets go of you noticing a large smile appear on your face. “I didn’t think you had it in you eraser head”

Even as you were getting dressed he is mesmerized. He could watch you all night and never get tired of you. “Aw we missed the movie.” even your pout is cute. He chuckles at your statement, putting his hand on your cheek he leans in and kisses you passionately. “I can bribe the kid at the front to play it again, just for us.” He didn’t even have to wait for your reply because your rapid tail movement said it all.

“Yes please!”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Paradigm Shift 3

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: you get transferred to a new position but it’s hardly a breath of fresh air. (plus!reader)

Characters: Loki, Bucky Barnes, this reader is known as Billie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

Dark roast, black. You're tempted to order one for yourself but the extra dose of caffeine might unhinge you after the morning you've had. Transfer, no desk, a firing, a stolen desk, and two painfully aloof bosses.  

You go back up to the office, the short reprieve offering some clarity but not solutions. There has to be some way to get more than a grunt and a closed door from these men. Geez, if you wanted to work with children you would've done so. 

You knock on Mr. Barnes' door. The one next to it opens first. Laufeyson considers you from head to toe and Barnes appears not a second after. He takes his cup without a thanks. 

"Mm, and where is mine then?" Laufeyson challenges. 

You blink, long and hard. Of course. Of course! You let out a slow breath, "what would you like, Mr. Laufeyson?" 

You don't miss the quiet snort from the other door and it closes before you can glance Barnes' expression. You have a suspicion he expected this. It's like your first job when you worked with a bunch of men in stocks. Their numbers were as bloated as their egos. 

“Matcha.” 

The door shuts in your face. Again. You bite down and stretch your fingers wide. It’s fine. It’s fine. Growing pains. 

Matcha... what? Iced? Latte? Hot tea? Smoothie? Wonderful, a guessing game. 

You will be getting yourself another coffee for the trouble. Another trip to Roasters and you settle on the simplest option; just tea. You’re certain if you’re wrong, he’ll let you know.  

You stand at the two office doors and contemplate your life decisions. Is this worth it? Can you beg Odinson to take you back? To send down another poor soul? You almost feel bad doing that to someone else. You’re about to give when that innate stubborn ticks in your jaw. It’s only been a few hours. You don’t just give up that easy. 

Knock, knock. There’s a delay before Laufeyson answers. You’re not put off by it. You know the tactic. It won’t work on you. If his tea is cold, it won’t be your fault. 

“Matcha, sir,” you hold out the cup. 

He accepts it and reads the sticker on the side. He narrows his green eyes and looks at you, “note for next time, I prefer Garcon’s to Roasters.” 

Click. Another shut door. You’re really starting to get angry. You laugh out the flurry of agitation and turn away. What else can you do but think of it as a joke? It has to be. It’s just that absurd. 

You sit at the desk and open your laptop. You get it hooked up to the monitor and refinagle the cords. That’s an accomplishment at least. A tiny morsel of victory. You glance around and frown. It’s like the waiting room in Beetlejuice; everyone looks miserable. Well, can you blame them? 

Your phone buzzes and you check the messages. Girl nights hangs like bait at the end of your day, keeping you swimming through dark waters. It’s a bit ridiculous. Your friends are all like you in one way but all vastly different in many other ways. You all spend your days taking care of men who couldn’t give a shit about any of you. 

You can already taste the Paloma; bitter grapefruit with the burn of tequila. You are dying to drink away this day. You look at the clock and nearly whimper. It’s not even one o’clock. Ugh. 

You plug away at your desk. You get the daily agendas templated then spend time scouring the web. You have something in mind. You’re pretty sure you can make it work. As long as those grumps can do the simplest of tasks. 

You customize the survey and send the link. You doubt you’ll get a response today or even at all. It’s a hail mary, really. Barnes’ door opens, then Laufeysons. Your chest fills with dread. Great. 

“Hello, sir and... sir,” you sit up as they approach. 

“What is the meaning of that quiz?” Laufeyson demands. 

“It’s not-- 

“Asking a lot, aren’t you?” Barnes crosses his arms. 

“No, I just--” 

“What business do you have about my dry cleaning?” Laufeyson hisses. 

“I have lunch when I have lunch. I'm not a child at grade school,” Barnes sneers.

“Okay, woah,” you put your palms out, “first, there’s an n/a column, you can choose not to disclose the information. Two, I need to know what to do. What do you want from me?” 

Both men frown and look at each other, then back to you. 

“I can think of one,” Laufeyson raises a finger, “don’t treat us as children who need you to put our socks on.” 

“Good one,” Barnes scoffs, “also, you could stop with calendar reminders.” 

“Those are automatic,” you mutter. 

“And the arguing,” Laufeyson points at you. 

You sputter, dizzy at their onslaught of criticism. They can tell you exactly what they don’t want but they can’t give you a clear answer as to why you are there. You calm yourself with a breath and sip of coffee. 

“Mr. Laufeyson, Mr. Barnes--” 

“Why him first? My name’s first alphabetically,” Barnes says. 

“I--” you stop yourself and take another taste of your coffee, “if my presence is getting in the way of your work, I will go back upstairs and talk to Mr. Odinson--” 

“Mr. Odinson? Thor?” Laufeyson says, “no, you won’t do that. In fact, that is another item for your list, no talking to my brother. Especially of me.” 

You could tear your hair out. You could hit your head on the wall. You could gauge your eyes out and drown yourself in your coffee. Instead, you smile. 

“Got it,” you say, “well, sirs, good luck with your meeting this afternoon.” 

“Yes, thank you,” Laufeyson intones. 

“Mm, sure,” Barnes says and they both turn on their heels then stop at once. They face you in sync with each other. 

“Meeting?” They ask. 

“Mmhm,” you nod, “it’s in your calendars.” 

They stare at you. 

“If that’s something you’d like me to brief you on,” you say tritely, “you can submit that in the survey.” 

Laufeyson hums dryly and Barnes growls. Neither says anything further as they retreat. You keep your eyes on the screen as your heartbeat races. You can’t believe you said that. 

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: March 11

2019

The Cousin Chronicles [david/patrick, T, 7,728] by TayTay4936

Patrick had always been close with his cousins. That didn't change with something as meaningless as distance.

Tickets to Paradise [david/patrick, E, 6,399] by stargatewars

Patrick surprises David with tickets to a tropical vacation.

2020

Dayenu [alexis & david, G, 682] by xslytherclawx

Alexis wants to have a Passover Seder. David doesn't know why everyone's going along with this.

Salve [david/patrick, T, 2,209] by agreatwave

“This is ruining our romantic eye cream ritual,” David mopes. “What, this isn’t romantic?” Patrick teases, moving on to David’s forehead. “It’s kind of romantic, I guess,” David grumbles. “Like as romantic as a rash can get.” Missing Scenes from 4x11 The Rollout

the food of love [david/patrick, T, 1,423] by @blueink3

“Buckle up, Mr. Brewer, it’s your lucky afternoon.” He wants to laugh, but it’s honestly doing something for him. “Mm, how lucky?” he asks, leaning his elbows on the counter. David saunters over, little shoulder shimmy jostling the plastic bag he has in his hand. “Beef tenderloin, a lobster roll, and if you’re really good, creme brulee.” Or, a missing scene from Sunrise Sunset.

2021

[podfic] come as you are [david/patrick, G, podfic] by @hullomoon

Patrick has some pre-first date jitters as he thinks about who he is and what this date means [podfic of come as you are]

David Rose vs a Canadian Classic [david/patrick, T, 2,101] by @mostlyinthemorning

An unwanted busker ruins David’s carefully curated aesthetic at Rose Apothecary.

Ethiopia [gen, G, 300] by Rosey_Peach

Getting cold [david/patrick, T, 971] by Fafsernir

Patrick is cold, and he's always wondered how those sweaters would feel on himself.

greater glove hath no man [david/patrick, G, 1,549] by ICMezzo

Marci sends Patrick a box of goodies. More specifically, she sends cookies (for David) and a pair of gloves (for Patrick). David only has eyes for the former… until it’s too late. Or, the one where David likes the gloves.

If I Was Born As a Blackthorn Tree (I'd Wanna Be Felled By You) [david/patrick, T, 5,349] by DawnDust

Patrick has been sent to assassinate business magnate Johnny Rose, owner of Rose Video. Unfortunately, he has some trouble following through with it. Mainly because Johnny’s son, David Rose, is really fucking cute.

It's All in the Shoes [david/patrick, E, 3,119] by @steviestoospooky

Patrick finally gets to have alone time with David after the Sunrise Bay premier. He has feelings about David's boots. Mind the tags ����

The Prince of Roses [david/patrick, E, 25,939] by @goodiecornbread

Prince David is expected to inherent the throne a year after his father's death. Patrick Brewer is an aspiring journalist sent to cover the biggest story from Canada's neighboring kingdom of Rosania. He takes on an undercover role to get closer to the royal family. What could go wrong? Based off of the Netflix film "A Christmas Prince"

2022

no accounting for you [david/patrick, G, 291] by @filet-o-feelings

Patrick Brewer is a numbers guy, always has been.

Pull The Shot. Steam The Milk. Repeat. [david/others, E, 48,202] by @treluna4

Right at the beginning of David’s junior year of college, his dad’s business partner literally took the money and ran, and the Roses were left with nothing. Without any other options, his parents moved to some tiny Canadian town his dad apparently bought in the ‘90s and his sister eloped with her boyfriend Stavros. As his parents could only afford the one motel room and classes were already paid for, David decided to stay where he was. He moved in with his friend Stevie and got a job at the Schitt Family Coffee Roasters south campus location. David was less than thrilled by this job prospect, but no one else was hiring and rent was a thing now, so he gathered what little self-respect he had left and prepared to meet his new manager, Patrick. But as it turned out, David had met him once before. Under very, very different circumstances. ***** Or; the hookup-to-friends-to-lovers college coffee shop AU that no one asked for.

the little things [david/patrick, G, 562] by @rosedavid

David reflects on what love is in the context of his relationship with Patrick.

Thigh love you [david/patrick, M, 331] by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

David loves Patrick's thighs. That's it, that's the ficlet.

2023

Clutch [david/patrick, G, 599] by @fakingsincerity

David tries to settle himself in the corner of the couch, tea aromatic on the side table next to him. He pulls his feet up under himself and takes the quilt from its spot on the back of the couch to wrap around his shoulders. It’s too quiet. His mind is too loud. The bottoms of his feet itch - no, the tops. David rolls his neck across his shoulders, the crunch echoing. It’s becoming rapidly clear what it’ll take to get any rest tonight. David is home alone while Patrick spends the night at the hospital for monitoring. Anxious and unable to sleep, he turns to an unlikely source for comfort.

Just because you like to wander, that doesn’t mean you don’t know the way [gen, T, 309] by @sspaz1000

Patrick has just left everything he's known and headed for Schitt's Creek. He stops along the way in Elm Ridge and gets a tattoo.

you and me forevermore [david/patrick, NR, 1,558] by @holmesapothecary

2 New Year's Days with Patrick and David +1 Midnight they ring in together.

2024

Hold Me Down (as Long as You’re Holding Me) [david/alexis, E, 2,947, CW: incest] by Rose_Bud_Boy

Neither Daivd nor Alexis were taught the first thing about affection. Meaning, when the only thing they can cling to in this turbulent world is each other, they show affection the only way they know how.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 2 fics/14,127 words 2020: 3 fics/4,314 words 2021: 8 fanworks (7 fics, 1 podfic)/39,348 words 2022: 4 fics/49,386 words 2023: 3 fics/2,466 words 2024: 1 fic/2,947 words Total: 21 fanworks (20 fics, 1 podfic)/112,588 words

[thicc-astronaut]

I always find it kind of fucked up when a food mascot is an anthropomorphic version of the food itself being advertised.

What do you mean Mr. Peanut is a living peanut who sells other peanuts. Do you think he drugs them unconscious before putting them into the roaster and then packaging them? Or does he leave them awake, and the Planters factory is full of the screams of agonized anthropomorphic peanuts?

Does he do this out of his own psychotic malice? Or does he selfishly believe being a traitor to his race might save himself from being eaten?

[ironwoman18]

Stray Cat Love

Yoichi was heading home from the gym, he liked München’s weather in spring and the gym was close to his apartment so, when the weather was cool but sunny, he enjoyed walking back home.

He had been in a weird relationship with Kaiser after the U-20 World Cup until the pandemic hit the world and they had to spend it in Kaiser’s apartment because the lockdown found them there.

This solidified their relationship and they finally accepted to be fully together so now they live in the same apartment.

Isagi was walking listening to music when he turned around in an alley and found a young kitty, grey with black stripes and green eyes was cuddling on the ground, it was skinny and seemed like it was hurt, so Yoichi, as the kind hearted guy he was picked it up with his unused gym towel and headed to the vet.

When he arrived he spoke in German, which he studied with Kaiser, for the doctor to help him.

The man checked the cat “this little guy got beaten by someone, probably a kid and left there to die” Yoichi clenched his fist angry “but he will survive since the beating probably was a minute or two before you walked by so you save him” the doctor rubbed his head softly.

“Good, I’m glad” said Yoichi, relieved with that news “can I do anything else?”

“Can you take him with you? It’s just while he gets better, if you can’t keep him, you can give him in adoption” Yoichi was glad he had a small injury due to an aggressive defender so he won’t be needed to play for a month so he can watch the kitty.

“Yes, I can” they gave him a list of instruments to follow and a list of medicines the kitty will need, he will stay the night to be under observation and also they wanted to check if has the vaccines and and castrate him.

Yoichi left to get everything they asked for and left them in the vet’s office then left for his apartment. Kaiser was playing in another city with their team and will be back the next day so he will meet the kitty when he arrives.

The following day Yoichi went to pick the kitty up and it was better, of course he looked bested up but with a better face.

“We castrate him and we made sure he has all the vaccines for his age, he’s young and he will get better faster” Isagi smiled and held the kitty, who rubbed his head on his chest softly “seems like he likes you already Mr Isagi” he smiled more rubbing the kitty’s chin.

“Good because I like him too” then he signed the papers and left for his apartment after buying things for the kitty like food and some medicines he needed, also some toys for him.

He walked back home and lay on the couch with the kitty, they watched a movie until it was time to eat, he fed him with roaster chicken and Isagi had some rice with salmon. Then, for the first time in his life, he took a nap with the kitty on his chest.

This scene was witnessed by Kaiser who looked at Yoichi with a grey ball of hair on his chest, he walked slowly and saw the little cat there. Kaiser rubbed the bridge of his nose and whispered “Yoichi... what did you do?” He sighed and went to their bedroom and put his suitcase in the closet and put his clothes in the washing machine then made himself a sandwich and sat on the other couch watching them sleeping peacefully.

An hour later Yoichi woke up and found Kaiser watching a movie, the kitty was looking at him with suspicious eyes “he’s Kaiser, my boyfriend” Yoichi whispered at the animal but still the kitty seemed unsure “Kaiser, when did you arrive?”

He turned to look at him “an hour ago, I didn’t want to wake up so I washed my clothes, ate a sandwich and watched a movie” then he pointed to the animal, now on his lap “who’s this little guy?”

“Oh he’s a kitty I found beaten up in an alley, the vet took care of him but asked me to keep him until he is better and since I won’t be playing thanks to Hans’ kick...” Kaiser still had bad blood on the Hangover defender, he will make sure to tackle him to Mars in their next match “I said... Why not?”

The German striker sighed and moved to sit next to him “We can’t keep him, when you are back to the team you won’t be able to take care of him”

“I can ask Mrs. Kimish, our neighbor” Kaiser looked down, it was hopeless, Yoichi was as stubborn as he was “I promise he will behave”

“I will trust you, just don’t let him get in the bed, I don’t want cat hair on my pillow” the kitty hiss softly when he leaned in to kiss Yoichi’s forehead “Jealous little angry furball?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

The cat was lovely with Yoichi and aggressive with Kaiser for over the recovery month of both him and Yoichi. The Japanese striker named him Aoi because of his green eyes and now Kaiser was sure that little furball won’t leave his apartment now.

One day they were walking to the vet for a quick check-out when they met with a kid, blonde hair and blue eyes “Wait... is that Karl? that fucking cat survived?” said the angry boy, “I  should have strangled you!!” The boy was heading to the kitty, who was pressed against Yoichi’s chest and shaking.

“Hey Kid...” Kaiser stood in front of Yoichi “Don’t you dare touch MY cat or any animal in your fucking life or I will beat your ass worst than you did to him” his blue eyes shone with anger looking a the kid who looked terrified and ran away “Let’s go Yoichi” he said him, walking without looking at Yoichi. 

He smiled, realizing Kaiser not only defended Aoi, but also called him “his cat”.

After this, he took his time to approach the cat, using his favorite treats so he could show him he wouldn’t hurt him, until one day, months later, it was Christmas day and Kaiser’s birthday. They planned to eat some heated food and watch movies. Kaiser laid down on the couch and Aoi just out of nowhere jumped on his chest and cuddled there. Kaiser will deny it until the day he dies but Yoichi noticed his eyes watered at that.

Aoi and he had something in common, they were saved from abusive families and found love in the arms of Yoichi Isagi.

OOooOOooOO

I found inspiration in songs to write haha, I was listening to Stereo Love and the idea to write this came to me. I decided to use a stray cat who was hurt by its owners due to lots of videos I found on Tik Tok. Of course Aoi is smaller but damaged, just like a little Michael Kaiser.

Hope you liked it.

[ludmilachaibemachado]

George Harrison's mum, Mrs Louise Harrison, in the kitchen of the Harrison family home at 174 Macket's Lane in Liverpool circa 1964. George Harrison lived in this house from 1962 to 1965💐💐💐

Via Ring side roaster FB💐

[babygoatnathaniel]

Doll Chap 5

Marc P.O.V I was planning on doing a lot more Nathaniel P.O.Vs but it's kinda hard to write that when nothing is really happening for him. 

‘This week so far has been the most confusing week. And I still haven't gotten to see if that doll is really Nathaniel. Ugh. Probably not but all the signs were saying yes. I was literally praying not though. I got to school somehow. "Sorry Mrs. Mendeleiev, I overslept and there was traffic and I had to stay out of the Akuma's way." I lied with ease. I hate lying but I'm good at it. She nodded. "Okay then. Now-" She started a lecture about lab safety or something. I drowned her out with thoughts. If that doll is Nathaniel, what if he hates me for what I revealed to him? Oh miraculous I revealed all my secrets to him! He is so gonna hate me. Ugh. I try to focus on the lesson but I keep getting distracted. I finally raised my hand. "Yes Marc?" She called on me. "I have to use the restroom." I say. "Make it quick." She nodded. I got up and went to the bathroom but as soon as I got there I transformed into Roaster Bold and went to search the city for Dollmaker. I could at least help right? Actually once I left I found her easily since she was right by the school. I called Ladybug who answered. "I found her." I whispered. "Alright, where are you?" She asked. "By DuPont school." I whisper. "Okay, on our way." She said before hanging up. I kept my eyes open and saw Argos nearby. I called him. "Hey, I see you. Attack on three?" I ask as soon as he answered. "Alright. 1." He started counting. "2." I said. "3!" We said at the same time as we hung up and leaped into action, taking Dollmaker by surprise. 

Not long after we started attacking, and we had the advantage for now because we did fury attacks literally, Viperion and Ryuko came by and started helping us. But Ladybug and Chat Noir were nowhere in sight. For being superheroes those two are irresponsible. Ugh. I found soccer balls and kicked them at Dollmaker, making direct hits. That was until she got the smart idea to turn the soccer balls into plushies. Well I have to say this villain is smart. And strong. Viperion was watching as usual. I looked around desperately. Argos and Ryuko were attacking with lighting speed. Dollmaker didn't have time to block many attacks. "Cataclysm!" A voice yelled from literally nowhere and we saw a girl with long black hair in a braid run down and attempt to cataclysm Dollmaker's wand. You can guess what happened. She missed and hit the wall of the school. "Darn it." She muttered before leaping away. Then a boy with blond hair, green eyes, and in a ladybug suit tried to wrap his yoyo around the wand. It worked for the most part but that just made Dollmaker able to pull him to her and- 

I looked around desperately. Argos and Ryuko were attacking with lighting speed. Dollmaker didn't have time to block many attacks. "Cataclysm!" A voice yelled from literally nowhere and we saw a girl with long black hair in a braid run down and attempt to cataclysm Dollmaker's wand. You can guess what happened. She missed and hit the wall of the school. "Darn it." She muttered before leaping away. "SWITCH BACK!" Viperion yelled to no one in particular. I wonder why. Anyways, Miss Hound finally showed up but no sign of Ladybug or Chat Noir. Making us do their work for them. Ugh. Me and Miss Hound teamed up kicking more soccer balls she found at Dollmaker. There were too many for her to turn them into plushies and she just kept getting hit with soccer balls. YES LETS GO! Miss Hound eventually threw her own ball at Dollmaker's wand and it was a hit. Her ball bounced back to her. "Fetch!" She whispered, stopping her attacks. The wand appeared in her hand and she snapped it in half. Ladybug and Chat Noir FINALLY showed up. "Time to de-evilive!" Ladybug yelled, catching the Akuma. "Miraculous Ladybug!" She yelled, throwing a spotted ball plushie into the air. I literally rushed to leave, detransform, and go home. I see Nathaniel sitting on my bed, staring back at me. 

Nathaniel P.O.V. I planned the akumatization to last longer but hey, let's just write fluffy stuff now. Mostly cause I have no clue how much longer I could keep that girl akumatized.

I saw a swarm of ladybugs surround me and turn me back to normal. I sat up on Marc's bed, blushing like crazy. I guess I had to at some point. I took some deep breaths and managed to stop blushing, just as Marc bursted into his room and stared at me. I met his gaze. "Hi." I said sheepishly. Not even a split second later he burst into tears and started running. I was confused. What did I do? All I said was hi. After a moment of processing this I ran after him. I knew a few spots he might be headed. I ran as fast as I could to all of them before finally checking under the Pont D'iéna. Sure enough he was there, sobbing. I silently sat next to him, watching his carefully. "Marc?" I asked, gently, not wanting to cause him to run again. "What's wrong?" I add. I gently grabbed his arm so he wouldn't run. He sobbed, tears streaming down his face. I gently wiped some away but they were quickly replaced. "I-I-I y-told y-  told you everything." He sobbed, face buried between his knees. "Y-y-you prob-prob- you probably-Probably hate m-m- hate me now." He chocked out between sobs. Poor boy. He thinks I hate him. Not exactly what for but still. "Marc, why would I hate you?" I asked gently, lifting his chin up to look at me. "Because I-I because I'm ga-ga- I'm g-gay and ge-gen-gene- gay and gen-nder fl-luid." He managed to spit out while sobbing. Poor boy thinks I'm gonna hate him for being gay and gender fluid? Poor boy. I gently wipe his tears away even though it's not much help. "Oh Marc..." I murmur softly. I gently pull him into my lap even though I'm shorter than him. He blushed but kept crying. "Ow." He said, clutching his head. He made little crying/chocking noises. I stroked his hair gently. 

"Marc, I don't hate you." I told him softly, wiping more of his tears. He looks at me with big, innocent, green eyes. "Y-you don't?" He asked me, seeming to chock on his tears. "Not at all. And for your information, I think you looked really good in that skirt." I smile teasingly. His face went pale to bright red in a split second. He buried his face in my chest to hide the blush until he realized what he was doing and pulled away and covered his face with his hands. I chuckled softly and pulled his hands away from his face. "Don't try to hide, I think your blush is adorable." I tell him. He squeaks and blushes more. "Marc Anciel, I was terrified to tell you and didn't think you would feel the same but I love you, more than you could ever know." I told him with a smile. He blushed and looked into my eyes. "Really?" He whispered. I nodded. "Really." I assured him. He smiled his adorable shy smile and his face went even redder. "Would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?" I ask him, pulling him so he was sitting up in my lap. He blushed and nodded. "Yes. A million times yes!" He told me, wrapping his arms around my neck in a hug. I smiled, happily hugging him back.’

Tee a hee a hee a hee I forgot how this chap ended omg. I say ima post another chap of doll that’s already on here everyday but Inknow that’s a lie and I bet you all do too.

[evangelust]

Hey, don’t cry. Chicken thighs and drumsticks roll them in flour. Large frying pan fill with about 1 cm. of oil, bring oil to about 300 to 320 degrees F brown chicken pcs on both sides. Place them in a roaster. Fry up one onion till golden brown add pepper basil rosemary if you like chop one or two garlic cloves add to onion when they just about ready fry for two more minutes when Fill pot with store bought chicken broth desired amount. Bring to boil add the onion mixture in to it mix in slowly 33 percent cream, in a separate pan place some soup mixture and add slowly sour cream constantly mixing, add to the pot bring it to simmer in a small jar place corn starch about two tablespoons and cup of water close the lid, shake it and pour slowly into simmering pot while mixing stop adding when you see desired consistency. Don’t forget to add salt to taste. Pour mixture over the chicken in your roaster, bake in the oven at 350 for 70 minutes or until tender. Garnish with chopped parsley before serving, you have that with potatoes or pasta or rice. You can use Agar powder to thicken your gravy not corn starch. You can add some curry powder to flour when you roll the chicken in it, that is if you like that flavour, also you can buy shaker of spice ‘’ Mrs. Dash “ unsalted I use that when roasting chicken, also you can add that to your gravy, more flavour than basil and rosemary. But if you don’t want to fry the onions you can buy onion soup packets and add one into your mixture before adding cream to give it a chance to soften, works just as well. watch the amount, it’s very salty.

[nipotazzi]

For 6 years I thought I was an absolute failure at fighting games because my little brother kept beating me up at Super Smash Bros Brawl on the Wii: The game was literally one of my childhood favorites, and the memories were fond.

But I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I would never get a good stock even with all the odds stacked against him, he just... cluelessly destroyed me every single match. We still had fun, so nothing drastic ever happened, but this always took an huge toll on my self-esteem: "My younger brother, who doesn't even play games that much, beats me 90% of the time at this platform fighter?!"

I was a fool.

He was just like me: in our common innocence, we played joyfully, not knowing what a meta was even supposed to be, and that Brawl had one too. We thought the game was mostly balanced. I thought so myself for the longest time.

Now, an adult, I know the horrors of Nintendo's programming. I know the results of their machinations upon the roaster newcomers.

I am now aware of the danger that are the dwellers of the SS+ Tier in Smash Bros.

My mains were Kirby, R.O.B. and Mr. G&W, of wich I am now aware of their low tier grade.

He only played one character, his favorite from the kirby Games.

My little bro knew his power.

[underratedmhapoll]

Round 3!! (+Round 2 Overview)

Looks like pinned posts are actually showing up on web again. That's nice!

There are definitely some winners here I did not expect. But it is always fun to watch you guys commit to your various bits. Anyways-

Round 3 will begin on Sunday, September 17th

A few things of note:

All villain characters have been eliminated! We're down to only students, pro heroes, and civilians

Shinomori is now in the lead after ratioing Flect Turn into oblivion

Half of the remaining roaster are students

Amplifier is our only movie original character remaining

No one from class A has been eliminated yet

Full rankings under the cut!

1st Shinomori 89.1% 2nd Samidere 84.1% 3rd Kota 83.7% 4th Rei 78.2% 5th Aoyama 74.3% 6th Tsunotori 73.7% 7th Sato 72.6% 8th Koichi 71.3% 9th Makoto 69.6% 10th Hound Dog 65.2% 11th Gunhead 65.1% 12th Ochako's Parents 64.9% 13th Amplifer 62.9% 14th Lunch Rush 57.9% 15th Ojiro 57.4% 16th Tsubaraba 52.9% 17th Chimera 47.1% 18th Bubble Girl 42.6% 19th Fuwa 42.1% 20th Isekai 37.1% 21st Shishida 35.1% 22nd Saito 34.9% 23rd Majestic 34.8% 24th Kido 30.4% 25th Nao 28.7% 26th Kashiko Sekigai 27.4% 27th Third User 26.3% 28th Chikuchi 25.7% 29th Beros 20.8% 30th Mummy 16.3% 31st Tsutsutaka 15.9% 32nd Flect Turn 10.9% 33rd Enigma 34th Satsuki 35th Yoroi Musha 36th Kyotoku 37th Tomie 38th Crust 39th Mustard 40th Slice 41st Hana 42nd Miyashita 43rd Tsubasa 44th Big Red Dot 45th Kesagiri Man 46th Mr. Smiley 47th Shishido 48th Takeshi 49th Death Arms 50th Dadan Tadan 51st Kenranzaki 52nd Nobu 53rd Romero Fujimi 54th Uwabami 55th Rin 56th Nirengeki 57th Bondo 58th Moonfish 59th Trumpet 60th Fourth Kind 61st Toxic Chainsaw 62nd Onima 63rd Wolfram 64th Daigo

[keanuquotes]

A  local coffee purveyor just received a ringing endorsement from one of Hollywood’s biggest stars.

Keanu Reeves is currently in Pittsburgh getting ready to rock out with his band, Dogstar, during a sold-out show Friday night at Mr. Smalls Theatre in Millvale.

The “John Wick” star took some time earlier this week to tell the world that Coffee Tree Roasters is now officially “Keanu Reeves APPROVED,” as the regionally based coffee-shop chain and wholesaler put it via a social media post.

Dogstar has been around in various forms since the early 1990s and currently consists of guitarist and vocalist Bret Domrose, drummer Rob Mailhouse and Reeves on bass. Tonight’s Pittsburgh show is the latest stop on the band’s “Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees” tour.

Mailhouse must also be a fan of Coffee Tree Roasters’ work, as evidenced by him proclaiming that “it was delicious” in a comment on that Facebook post.

“So glad you gentlemen enjoyed our coffee,” Coffee Tree Roasters wrote in response to Mailhouse’s comment. “Turns out, some of our team feels the same about your music, and are looking forward to tomorrow's concert!!! Please stop back anytime!”

Reeves recently returned as the titular assassin in this spring’s “John Wick: Chapter 4” and is set to appear in next year’s “John Wick” spinoff film “Ballerina.” His long list of big-screen credits includes “The Prince of Pennsylvania,’ a locally shot crime caper in which Reeves plays a teenager whose plan to kidnap his father for ransom money spectacularly backfires.

Joshua Axelrod: jaxelrod@post-gazette.com and Twitter @jaxelburgh.

First Published October 6, 2023, 4:13pm

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Monster, Inc. 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss is an asshole, you know this. But what happens when he turns his wrath upon you? (plus!reader)

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, this reader is known as Missie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

After a quick Google and a few reviews, you decide on a brand. You pick a box off the shelf. It should do the job as long as you apply it properly. You’re not so worried about yourself. 

Something drops along the edge of your vision and you peek over. A man walks away ignorant of the card left behind. You hurry to scoop it up. 

“Excuse me, sir, you dropped--” You click to a stop in your heels as he faces you. You smile as he mirrors your expression. “Peter!?” 

“Hey, Missie.” His brown eyes beam back at you. “What are the odds?” 

“It’s been so long. Um...” you look down at the card then wiggle it at him. “You dropped this.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” 

He accepts the card with a dimple in his cheek. You look at it and realise it’s nothing special. Just a loyalty card from Roasters. It is a great shop. 

“Haven’t heard from you since the paper. You said you’d keep in touch.” He shifts his stance so another customer can squeeze by. 

“Yeah, uh, I meant to. I’ve been really cruddy at keeping up. Work is so busy and--” 

“What’s that for?” He quickly redirects as he points at the box in your hands. “You dye your hair? Wouldn’t guess it.” 

“Oh, no it’s for... my boss,” you giggle. 

“Your boss. Right. I’m sorry, what exactly do you do now?” 

“I’m a PA. My boss is just demanding. That’s all. But it’s good pay and it keeps me on my toes.” 

“Ah, I left the paper too. Started my own photography business.” He explains. 

“I saw that on Insta! I follow you. Your stuff is so good.” 

“You follow me but you don’t message,” he crosses his arms. 

“I’m sorry,” you pout. You rattle the box in your hands. You don’t want to be abrupt but you really can’t keep Mr. Hansen waiting too long and you still need to grab shampoo. 

“We should catch up. How about dinner? What are you doing tonight?” Peter asks. 

“Oh, er, nothing.” 

“Great. How about Zak’s? That old sandwich shop near the paper. I remember your fave; the spicy italian with extra pickles.” He grins triumphantly. 

“Sure, that sounds awesome. Just... send me a message, okay? I gotta get back to my boss.” 

“Sure, don’t let her work you too hard,” he steps out of your way. 

“He,” you correct him. “It’s not hard work, just a lot.” 

You sweep down the aisle and grab a clarifying shampoo on your way to the checkout. Even just a few minutes is too long for Mr. Hansen and in his state, you don’t expect him to be any calmer. All you can hope for is that the remover works out. 

Back at the office, you measure your dread. It won’t be that bad. You can fix this. Maybe. You grabbed some dye too, hoping maybe you might be able to even everything out after. 

You drop your purse on your desk and flit over to Mr. Hansen’s office. You knock and hear him groaning from inside. As you enter, he’s bent over his lap, holding his head. He sits up so fast his chair teeters. He faces your chirpy greeting. 

“Mr. Hansen,” you sing, “I got everything we need.” 

“Why the fuck are you so cheery?” 

As you look at him, like really look at him, you find it hard not to laugh. He really does look awful. He’s not exactly your type but he isn’t too bad most days. The black dye just washes him out. He looks like Dracula if he was in a 70s adult flick. 

“So, we need to wash your hair. I figured we can use your sink. I even grabbed a towel.” 

“You think of everything, don’t you?” He hisses. 

“Sir, I think we can fix your hair.” 

He scowls and stands. He shakes his head and slinks to the en suite bathroom. You follow with the bag of goodies. He looms with arms crossed as you put it on the counter and unpack. 

“You can put the towel around your collar to keep the remover from dripping. Tuck it in to--” 

Before you can finish, his shirt is half unbuttoned. You turn to unbox the remover and peel the seal of the bottle as you quiet. Whatever’s easier, you suppose. He hangs his shirt on the back of the door and comes back to you. You get a glimpse of his chest hair in the mirror. 

“Alright, erm, bend over the sink and we need to wash your hair. How about you put the towel over your eyes--” 

“I can handle it.” He snatches the towel and folders it over his forehead and eyes. He bends over the sink. His broad shoulders strain as his muscles tighten. “Don’t fuck up my hair.” 

You want to tell him you don’t think it can get worse but you know better. You take one of the paper cups from the stack and crank on the faucet.  You feel the temperature before you fill the cup and carefully pour it over his head. You wet all the strands and squirt shampoo onto his hair. You lather it up, scratching his scalp with your nails. 

“Mmmph,” he purrs as your work away. You smile. He’s a bit like a cat. Cranky but manageable. 

You rinse his hair methodically. You make sure not to get any near his face as you use your hand to redirect the water. When you finish, you help him cover his hair with the towel. 

You roll in his chair from the office and have him sit. You rub the moisture of his hair with the towel and drape it around his shoulders. You pull the gloves on and mix up the remover in the bottle then take the comb out of the box. You go to Mr. Hansen as he sits, looking despondent. 

“It fucking reeks,” he wrinkles his nose at the odour. 

“I did warn you but once we rinse it out, you’ll be good as new.” You comb his hair back, then forward, and pull out a thin section. You slather it on precisely as you work through the strands. 

As you pay close attention to your task, you feel the tension ease from him. When you get through the longer pieces on the top of his head, you push the back again. You use your gloved fingers to do his sides, rubbing in the remover on the buzzed stubble. As you do, he closes his eyes and leans into your touch. 

Well, it’s better than him being angry. This might be the most relaxed you’ve ever seen Mr. Hansen. 

[formulaonedirection]

hiiii, I am travelling to Singapore for the Grand Prix this year and was wondering if you had any recs of things I should do while I’m there? 🩷

helloooooo omg how fun!! I love the Singapore GP it's really fun and it's such an accessible circuit. Tbh I'm the worst person to ask because a) i love niche boring stuff b) the only things my friends and I do in Singapore is eat and hang out because that IS the national past time but let me see hmmmm

I'll just recommend some stuff that's not like. Gardens by the Bay. Sentosa. Universal Studios. The Zoo. All VERY nice places tbh and highly recommend but these are just some tiny Nadia-based reccs that you might not get from a google-able list I guess?? If you're here for a short time and you're only at the Marina Bay Sands/CBD area that's totally fine but just know that that IS the most expensive area of Singapore.

Well if you're here for a while and you're a history person I'd recommend going to the National Museum and then right down the road from there is Peranakan Museum which is tiny but fun. The National Museum is one of my favourite buildings in Singapore I just think it's so beautiful. And if you REALLY like history and museums I'd super recommend the Asian Civilisations Museum which is criminally underrated imo. If you're staying near the circuit the National Gallery is literally right there you can even pop in in the morning before the race, there's some really good local and southeast asian art in there if that's your thing.

My personal favourite place to have a wander is the Botanic Gardens. If you're a picnic person just grab some bits and bobs from Cluny Court (Plain Vanilla cupcakes are soooo good. And there's another really good bakery on the second floor) and have a nice picnic and stroll in the garden. It's pretty massive so make sure you know what you're getting into. Do NOT go on a weekend. That's crucial.

The whole Kampong Glame/Arab Street/Haji Lane is a vibe 100%. Get some boba from PlayMade, get some teh sarbat from the old man that's been serving tea there forever. There's this really good burger place like right near the mosque it's called Mahmud's Tandoor I'm obsessed with it. DO NOT let the Turkish restaurants hassle you be strong! There's some thrift stores there too but it's mostly like really good food, really nice art. The Malay Cultural Centre is like a really nice space too if you need a break.

If you want local food I'd rather you go to Maxwell's then Lau Pa Sat I actually HATE Lau Pa Sat it's theeee definition of a tourist trap. Newton Food Centre which is where they filmed that scene in Crazy Rich Asians is like fine too if you're looking for local food. If you want LOCAL LOCAL come to Al Azhar at Bukit Timah because I'm literally telling people that the steamboat fish that's there is Michellin star good. That's also a good frog porridge place down the road if you're feeling adventurous.

And my last recc is the Tiong Bahru area which is the area I used to work at. If you want cute little souvenirs or local bits and bobs there's a very cute store called Cat Socrates that I buy everything from. The Plain Vanilla there is also BEAUTIFUL it's my favourite cafe to work at. There's also like beautiful street art all along the whole area so it's just nice to walk around cause it's all just nice shophouses and art. And then there's Tiong Bahru Market which has some of the best local food. Go in the morning for this.

If you want like fancy food recs that aren't local food but are like actually good and not a scam, my personal favs are Miznon on Stanley Street, Ms Maria and Mr Singh, Five Oars Coffee Roasters on Upper East Coast. Oooh if you go to Neptune on East Coast Road you can see the pretty Peranakan buildings.

UHM YEAH! Singapore is really beautiful but VERY warm please bring sunscreen. PLEASEEEE venture outside the circuit area if you have the time because while that area is gorgeous I just think places like Haji Lane, or Tiong Bahru, or Bukit Timah, or East Coast Road are just so much more local. (Any Singaporeans reading this you know what I mean la. Nice Local. I'm not gonna recommend them to go to the coffee shop downstairs your house k)

[blueberryomega]

VICIOUS (The Series)

Pairing: Female and male OC (Male OC was my husband's idea) x AEW Superstars

Summary: Audrey Nolan, an almost 23-year-old woman, comes to AEW with the simple fact of fulfilling her dream of being a wrestler, inspired by Chyna, her favorite wrestler. But as time goes by, she feels her dream destroyed by people who judge her because of her gender.

Warning: strong language, may contain sex.

Audience: 18+ [minors do not interact]

I don't own any gifs, photos or brands posted here. This is just a fanfiction! Don't like it? Go away and don't read it. That's it.

The point where getting married became their goal achieved. Jay and Audrey Nolan, a couple of future wrestling superstars. Audrey completed a year of college before starting all of this. But she, in addition to wanting to be her husband's manager, she wants to do the same as her favorite wrestler Chyna, fight against men.

The two of them wanted to spend their first years in AEW, and then go to another company. Their plans were already made.

"Well baby.." Jay showed the contract. "Tony wants us to read the instructions before signing."

"The only thing I hope is that they put me in several natches and don't leave me forgotten like multiple superstars."

"My love, they're not going to leave you forgotten."

"Baby, they told me they're going to put me in the men's division..."

"As my manager."

"Yeah...."

Jay looked at her. "Are you OK?"

"Yes of course."

"Okay, that's all I need."

They both agreed to sign. And since then, both dream had begun.

A LOT OF TIME LATER...

The Nolan couple arrived at AEW, trained as they were supposed to and with the figure they both wanted. Audrey felt bad because she missed her husband's belly, but at the same time she understood that it was for his good. When they entered, a woman was there to serve them.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Nolan." She greets. "My name is Scarlett Adams and I'm going to give you a tour and show you her dressing room. I did it exclusively for you. Don't tell anyone."

"Good." The two affirmed and participated in the tour. Everything seemed fine, well, except for Claudio Castagnoli, who looked at them with pure detestation.

"Whoa, whoa... here's the mister... manager and his other musketeers."

"Hey..." Jay interrupted. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"To your wife, who looks like a male with those exaggerated muscles."

Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Claudio, you're lucky Moxley isn't here to calm you down with a damn fist."

Audrey crossed her arms. "Be very careful what you say, Suiza milk. Because you're not going to finish this..."

"Hey..." Jay looked at her and approached her. "Don't you remember the phrase you used to make fun of the Swiss people?"

"Yes... only my brother and I understand each other with that brand of milk..."

Claudio raised an eyebrow. "What kind of milk?"

Audrey laughed. "What milk? Well, the Suiza."

She laughed, realizing that Scarlett got the joke too.

"I don't know what's wrong with Swiss milk." Claudio growled.

"Hey Clau.." Scarlett raised her hand, laughing. "Won't you have juice too?"

The two laughed, making Jay laugh too.

"You know what? You're going to pay for it. Neither your husband nor your little friend are going to defend you." Claudio left furious. Jay barked like a dog as he passed, and there they continued their journey. The three of them arrived at the locker, everything organized for their comfort.

Scarlett crossed her arms and smiled. "I hope you like it, the staff and I left it clean for you. If you have anything, let me know and look for me."

"Clear." Jay and Audrey responded, entering the locker.

"Well.." Audrey took a small breath. "Our dreams have already begun to come true."

"Exactly, but no matter what happens, I will be with you." Jay smiled and kissed his wife. "Now go and take a walk, I'll be training here."

"Hey, but what if Claudio shows up and attacks me?"

"You do the same, love. Remember that you didn't get into the male roaster for nothing."

She went for a walk, looking out to each side to check if Claudio was not in any corner. She felt scared, but at the same time she saw that he was there, trying to intimidate Eddie Kingston and saying things to him, she looked out a little, checking what was happening. But, almost after a fight, Audrey intervened, holding off the Swiss's fist.

"Why don't you pick on someone your size?"

He stuck out his arm, leaving with his club.

"That's right big guy, get out where I can't see you."

Eddie took a breath, looking at Audrey and not believing that she defended him herself.

"Hey.. Audrey, right?"

"Yes..." She smiled. "By the way, you don't have to thank me for anything, he already owed me one."

"Right now, I wanted to fight that guy. I'm sick of him and being thought to intimidate me just because he's with Moxley."

"Me too... that fucker called me a male just because I got the figure I have. Besides, I've always wanted that, I don't know why he makes so much drama about it."

"What's wrong with your figure? You look pretty good."

"I know, right?" We both laugh.

"Hey...Audrey..." Eddie spoke once more. "Don't you mind if we're friends? I mean, nothing more than that."

"Exactly, nothing more than that. I'm recently married and I don't want to have problems with Jay. It won't be your fault, eh?"

"Well, thanks again for the help."

"You're welcome. Besides, I'm doing it for... my heroes..." She gave a sigh. "Well, I'm leaving. We'll talk later."

"Have a nice night."

TO BE CONTINUED....

Pos Data: Definition of LECHE SUIZA

Part two coming soon.

[sleepingswift85]

Another culture warrior Terf booted out of political power and even better another right wing GOP roaster elected out! ✊

Well done Mr Ewing

Solidarity is Power 🏳️‍⚧️

Last night in Nebraska's largest city, Omaha, 3 term Republican mayor Jean Stothert was up for re-election, in the final days of her re-election campaign she went all in on transphobia, with a TV add accusing her Democratic opponent, John Ewing, "Ewing stands with radicals who want to allow boys in girls’ sports,”

Ewing and the Democrats fought back

and last night?

Congratulations to Omaha on its first black mayor, and remember calling Republicans bathroom creepers remains undefeated.