#mtg breeches

[jasper-the-menace]

If not, he would—what? Keep going, he supposed. Beg a boat from the next port he reached. Fly to a Sun Empire village. Wander back to Orazca and pretend the plane wasn't falling apart again. But he wouldn't stop, not now, maybe not ever. If he did, the fungus would catch up. - The Lost Caverns of Ixalan episode 6, by Valerie Valdes

A wonderful commission done for me by my sweet mutual @hamingo of my boys Malcolm and Breeches from Magic: The Gathering. The Lost Caverns of Ixalan story really was these two having the worst fucking day of their lives. Breeches is just coping with it a lot better than Malcolm is.

[incorrect-mtg]

Breeches: I FOUND LOOT!

Malcolm: As in treasure or as in the child?

Breeches, holding up gold on his hands and Loot on his back: YES!

Malcolm: Ok, I'll tell Vraska that-

Breeches: I TEACH HIM HOW TO MAKE THINGS GO BOOM

Malcom: Breeches NO!

Breeches: BREECHES YES!

[meu133]

It's Ixalan spoiler season and oh boy have i found new blorbos

[prosperity-post]

Kaervek as illustrated by Cristi Balanescu

With the latest episode of Thunder Junction's magic story, we're introduced to Oko's gang of Outlaws as Annie Flash decides to take him up in his offer. We learn that it was Ashiok who actually hired them to find the vault which is known as Maag Taranau. Akul and the Hellspurs built the town of Tarnation around the vault in an attempt to control it. Okoi was hired to find the keys to the vault.

Anyway, Oko has a larger gang than we thought. Along with Annie and Kellan, there is Rakdos and Vraska, Tinybones and Eriette, Malcolm and Breeches, Gisa and Geralf, and Kaervek and Satoru. A thirteen man gang to break into a vault believed to hold "RAW POWER!" as exclaimed by Breeches.

[folansstuff]

I KNEW IT

I KNEW JACE WOULD TURN UP

WE'RE GETTING VRASKA/JACE CONTENT AGAIN BAYBEEEEEE

[almostlookedhuman]

[penroseparticle]

I'm sorry I have to be an MTG nerd for 5 seconds we just got Emrakul, the World Anew spoiled:

and someone said it "probably won't see any modern play" and the idea that a madness cost of 6 colorless in the format with Tron Lands, Urza's Saga, and Underworld Cookbook for a 12/12 with some bananas protection that STEALS YOUR OPPONENT'S BOARD is just, the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

Like Tron can just CAST HER FOR 12 IN SOME GAMES. Card evaluation skills in a smouldering crater. Unbelievably audacious to believe that she's not Modern power level as if we haven't been Through The Breeching Emrakuls for over a decade now. You can Goryo's this! Hasty 12/12 board wipe for 2.

And like, maybe she won't be good enough? She'll DEFINITELY get tested out though! She will for sure be played by the people that fucking love Emrakul. It's a marquee character on a powerful card. WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN

[jacebeleren]

Malcolm and Breeches are the Bert and Ernie of MTG. Agree or disagree

disagree. they are still gay. but different.

[dyke-pollinator]

What MTG decks do you play/want to play?

Honestly I dont play much Magic now a days. I probably burnt out on it from it being the like only thing I did to be social for years.

At one point I had 15 EDH decks, now I have sold my entire collection and am left with only Gruul Artifacts and Mono Red Storm.

As far as non EDH is concerned, I ran "Opps, All Spells" In Legacy, Storm and Infect in Modern and, for the brief moment I played Pioneer, I played Lotus Breech before it was banned.

[kingthreshie-official]

Now that I've had some time to sit with the epilogue story after a bit of going back and rereading it, I don't know if I should be excited for the future of these stories or not. I'm going to put my rant and contexts under a readmore because this is going to be me vomiting at a textbox and assuming someone else on the web will get it. But it's going to be a mix of thunder Junction and the epilogue.

When it comes to Magic the Gathering, I go back and forth with myself often about whether the story comes first or the cards come first. Some sets, Like (I will argue) Both Eldraine sets, Seem to have a lot more focus on their stories, and then make very flavorful cards based off of that. Other sets, like thunder junction, feel like the gimmick and cards were designed first, and then all of that had to be pasted into a story. While I get that it can be hard to make gameplay and story always line up, as you have to tow a line between a player always being confused, and a player feeling railroaded or obligated to stick to the story, Wizards never really has to deal with the stakes of "railroading too hard".Decks are always 100% customizable, you can't take that agency from a bunch of jerkasses at a table, so they have the ability to lean harder into their story than a lot of other games media does. The Writing decisions made by the stories team have the potential to completely adjust what cards get made if wotc was bold enough to follow through with actual adjustments to their world. But OTJ proves that that will never happen, and that any exciting consequence can be stepped back on in 2 stories for one card that will probably make a lot of bank, or to see a villain in a cool hat.

To be fair, Marchesa looks really cool as a cowpoke. her hat is very cool. But justifying going back on her fighting so hard for her kingdom just for a supposed villains set feels like a regression of her character, especially since she has almost always had someone else do her bidding. And a lot of the Villains seen in thunder junction didn't seem to be used or changed for the better, a lot of them felt like set pieces that could have been swapped out with anyone else in that story, and the results would have been similar. I can't think of any significant reason what it *Had* to be Tinybones, Breeches, or Eriette. The only characters that stand out to me as being irreplaceable in the main story are Oko (driving plot forward for Kellan), Geralf/ Gisa (Geralf patched one or two wounds, Gisa is a wild card that causes problems, but she is OH so Memorable I cannot imagine that train scene without her) and Annie Flash (Again, Kellans Concious/Catalyst to make sure the "right thing" for Kellan is done, and provides some context as to How and why Akul is dangerous.). And to be fair, I didn't mind that up until the final chapter. It was fun enough, not a world shaking MTG story but considering we're still at the beginning stages of seeing a world with Omenpaths (as players. This is set 3? 4?) And there's still a lot of questions to ask about creatures and planes (the Gisa and Geralf side story goes into this so well. I love those 2 they are ICONIC), It did its job OK and I wouldn't have had anything to write home about.

Until Jace.

I will admit, I'm not a huge fan of Jace, but it's mostly because he's boring. You know that once he's involved in plot the stakes are basically off, as regardless of how perilous the situation is, or how heinous of an action he performs, He's going to make it out with a few cuts/bruises/maybe a memory wipe and everything else will basically go back to a degree of status quo. It's not fun following a character who you know is going to be mostly fine and alive by sheer virtue of him being there. And I get its because over time he has become *the* mtg Mascot, but that's why I thought Phyrexia/March of the machines was interesting. It was finally a consequence for Jace that he couldn't fully shake himself out of, and his presumed death felt like the end of an Era and a potential for something new and interesting. You know, until he showed back up. And the story shows him getting out of what should have been certain death with a fever and another road trip back to Vryn. And I realized that I have been Punkd for the past few stories and of course nothing changes anymore its Jace Fucking Beleren and he's going to win again. And of course it's with Vraska again, If they make me go through the crime of having to listen to those two in an audiobook format again, at least this time I know not to order from drive through while listening to MTG story (so one of us has consequences, and it's not him). Being able to beat out glistening oil with a fever also felt cheap, but that may just be because I feel like there's better MTG characters that we lost due to the oil.The fact that we may never get them back feels like a kick to the shins.

However, I am also not totally doom and Gloom about Jace's reappearance in MTG story because we see a bit of the return of "Jerkass Jace". Contrary to my opinions about Jace, Jerkass Jace is a relic of a bygone Era and I Missed him so much, because he was unbearable! A total monster! An absolute pain to everyone around him! Unlikeable, Clever, and selfish! Cared about nobody! Jerkass Jace was so ethically bankrupt that I am going to be honest he may have the potential to turn this entire thing around. The BBEG MTG villains (Phyrexia, Eldrazi, the Dragon formerly known as Nicol Bolas), have been the predictable and therefore kind of dull villains for the longest time now. You can usually predict which one is next by the results of the previous ones fights. But Wizards could make Jace the big bad evil guy with Jerkass Jace! I think that would be incredibly refreshing. Get a new face in the Villains spotlight with a character who's powers have the potential for it (and as Annie mentioned, he is hiding something) and it could be really interesting! Jace has the motives! It could be a great way to bring intrigue to him! (And not the eldrazi. Or bolas using an omenpath and dipping off Ugins plane) Nobody will see it coming let him go NUTS!

[mtg-cards-hourly]

Breeches, Brazen Plunderer

Artist: Svetlin Velinov TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

[dapper-delinquent]

So... Fun combo i discovered tonight...

And add Breeches just in case you want extra options to mill your opponents and/or play anything in their decks :)

[incorrect-mtg]

Lost Caverns of Ixalan + Tumblr Textposts

[planeswalker-umbral]

Commander Legends references pt 5/11

[prosperity-post]

Breeches, Brazen Plunderer - Legendary Goblin Pirate

3R - 3/3

Menace

Whenever one or more Pirates you control deal damage to your opponents, exile the top card of each of those opponents' libraries. You may play those cards this turn, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.

Partner

[loreleywrites]

Breeches is a rude little goblin.