#multifandomgeek!!!!!!!!!!!!

[monster-energies]

always a woman

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

pairing: severus snape/reader

summary:   severus snape had always fallen for every little trait of yours, you have always made his life feel like the warmest hug there is. you do everything to make him happy but now he feels its the right time to make you happy only in the best way possible.

warnings: the lightest of angsts, if you squint but other than that, all round fluff

rating: general audiences

ʚ♡ɞ please click here if you would like to be apart of my taglist

ʚ♡ɞ taglist: @insomniacaesthetic @eternal-silvertongued-prince @sevsssnape  @mirarenwick @diamondbitch116 @mamawolfsmith16 @nickangel13 @a-queen-and-her-throne @deepperplexity @amazingzou @yan-senna @yellowbadgermole @sevssillyincantations @alisongurl13 @inflation-of-mind @ilomessiah​ @maitre-de-marionnettes @impulse-anchor @multifandomgeeks @lady0fmischief

word count:   3048

this oneshot can be found on archive of our own

author’s note:

title's namesake: the song always a woman by billy joel

guys. she is back EVERYONE CLAP.

well i say i return but then i disappear due to writers block and creative burnout for almost a year 😐🧍🏼♀️ i would type out my authors note disappearing reasons, but i genuinely think i would be here all day BWHAHAHAH,,,,anyways this was a suggestion/request i saw on tumblr by  @wtfhasmy-lifecometo :  a severus snape x reader where the plot of the story is based off of the song “she’s always a woman” by billy joel… and have it all be fluff… and basically it would be severus’s pov and it would be him describing how much his wife means to him despite her “flaws” . and i've taken a bit of a twist with it but i feel it vibes with it. im going with vibes, slay. anyways i won't keep you for long so enjoy reading or whatever

no but genuinely though,  thank you very much for reading !! it means a lot to me that you support my fanfics, whether you're an old or new reader of mine you are apart of the most girlboss place there is. reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. have an amazing day 💖

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

“severus we can worry about your scarf later, we don’t want it to rain now do we.” you called from downstairs.

severus had been fumbling around with said scarf for quite some time. he had been  rather nervous and he couldn’t entirely figure out why. then he looked over to the one thing that he had bought and had merely regretted seconds after purchasing.

it was so expensive he contemplated why he bought the final choice in the shop, but he knew.

his life was worth living from that point onwards.

once he adjusted his scarf one last time, he took it, placing it in his pocket before heading downstairs to see your face.

you had beamed and was quick to take a hold of his hand. as you opened the door, the mid-autumn breeze hit you both and a smirk hit severus’ face. autumn was always his favourite time, he loved the leaves changing colour and his ability to wrap himself in more coats and scarves. he always was equipped for the autumn and winter season.

you had both been in for a long day, however it would be a day that you both planned for ages.

neither of you were one for having long days outside, and even then you would need to recharge before you planned on stepping foot outside again. it was severus who brought the concept up, which had been very out of character for him to say the least.

what was there outside that required an entire 24 hours was beyond you. but this was your lover, and you couldn’t help but love the moments in which he found himself impulsive.

you and severus started at the local bookshop, taking in every aesthetic of the bookshelves around you. the shop had recently introduced some new animal friends, cats, pygmy puffs, and many others graced their way to the shop to keep fellow attenders company. you loved stroking and tending to every animal there as they accompanied you to your bookshop adventures.

severus hadn’t been too fond of the animals, however if they made you happy then he was happy. after going to the bookshop, severus made a visit to a small café nearby to pick up some of your favourite sweet things, you had grown suspicious once he had asked you to wait outside, as you always went in with him to pick up these delicacies. but you had shrugged it off, just severus being severus.

“ready to go my dear?” you asked. and he nodded.

you  both made your way to a field, walks wit severs snape were always the best activity to do with him, a lot of your dates prior to today were always consisted of a slow journey that had no purpose, only for you both to smell the fresh air and be in one anothers presence, especially after long days where you find yourselves far apart. night walks seemed to be severus’ favourite thing, but of course you didn’t protest to that.

once you both found a perfect spot, you set up everything and indulged in your little day out you both were very much enjoying. you laid your head on severus’ lap as you eyes gazed at the beautiful view ahead of you.

you had taken out your wand, aiming it to the grass that bestowed upon you both.

“expecto patronum.” you chanted with your wand and your glowing rabbit patronus hopped around you both, surrounding you and severus in a beautiful blue wire binding you both together.

“your patronus will always be my favourite y/n.” severus said. you couldn’t help but giggle.

“i suppose i can let my one free for a moment.” he said.

he took his wand out from his inside pocket, and had it pointed to the ground.

“expect patronum.” he chanted quietly.

but much to both of your shock, nothing appeared. puzzled, severus tried again but to no avail. mumbling the spell over and over again, he smacked his wand several times on his thighs, had he really grown out of his wand?

“god forsaken piece of wood!” he muttered to himself.

you couldn’t help but giggle at his multiple attempts, tapping the wand on his lap in hopes that the magic would possibly work, your smile soon turned to small laughs, but severus happened to catch onto your little laughs.

“this isn’t funny, silly girl.” severus said, ruffling the ends of your hair before you let out more laughs. enough to make his heart melt.

“i know.” you suggested, you dug through your pockets and found a flower crown inside and put it on severus.

severus now had been bewildered by this action, turning his head slowly only for his brow to be raised, which you clearly couldn’t take seriously, and had only made you laugh some more.

“and…how is this supposed to help me?” he asked.

“trust me! it will work, try it.” you said.

severus couldn’t help but roll his eyes slightly, in actuality he did enjoy the feeling.

when he tried the patronus spell once more, he saw it had taken the form of your patronus. a rabbit hopping in and around the fields.

he would always have this hint of shock that he shared a patronus with someone, it was a feeling he could never get used to. you couldn’t help but beam at his reaction.

“severus, your patronus…”

you were just as stunned as he was, neither of you had thought this would happen. your chemistry with one another had been stronger and stronger, from the moment you and severus had set eyes on one another, you had known it was nothing but destiny that had pulled you together.

severus turned to you and instantly grabbed a hold of your hands, by instinct. there was something in him that realised the moment was just right.

in fact it was more than ‘just right,’ it was perfect.

he was really going to do this now…

“y/n…i never thought i’d ask you such a question, but i fear i can’t contain my feelings any longer.” severus said.

“y/n m/n l/n…”

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

when severus had asked you to move into his home, not a single ounce of hesitance disappeared inside of him. he hated his home, he hated that he inhabited this place.

but he had no other choice but to at least maintain what little legacy he had (if he were to call it that.)

when you had settled in, you actually didn’t seem to mind spinner’s end and it had some sort of potential to it. severus constantly asked you how things were in the house, even the most mundane things he had constantly told you that it wasn’t the best but it was the best he could offer to you.

he feared that his best wasn’t entirely good enough for you, but you always did your best to reassure him that everything in his home was fine.

one day he had left for his job and you decided to do the things that snape had always promised to do in this house. you had planned it for a while, but had to find the perfect timing  and severus being away at hogwarts for the day seemed to fall perfectly in your plans.

you were in for a very long day ahead.

severus had always found the items in his home having a particular place in each room, he didn’t want anything to be changed or it wouldn’t have felt right to him. you had been very careful about that, you put everything into boxes so that they could be taken out later, and got round to deep cleaning the house from top to bottom.

severus had neglected the deep cleaning process, always at the back of his mind however, he never done so.

how could severus live like this? was all you could think about. considering how much neglect he had received from his father, that would have been one of the many factors.

once the deep cleaning was complete, you went to organize all of his books, they had a comforting feeling in your grasp. you took a note of how severus organized his shelves and followed it down to the point.

you had wanted to make this place at least worth coming home to for him. you had seen how miserable severus had lived his life and it hurt you to see that.

as the day went on you had been putting in the finishing touches of the house. you had rearranged the furniture slightly and as you had placed severus’ knick-knacks all over the house, it made you hope that he appreciated all you had done.

suddenly you heard the keys jangle outside and you bustled to the front door, quick to open it.

“sev! you’re back.” you squeaked slightly, shoving your entire body in his arm and peppering kisses all over his lips.

severus had been shocked at the sudden affection, he had never felt that he deserved such a thing.

“i’ve got something to show you.” you said excitedly.

you took his hand and there was where you showed him the house. a mixture of emotions wavered in, as you showed him all of the little details of the newly arranged home, severus couldn’t decipher the feelings he had in the moment.

you had shown him the ground floor of the house, the kitchen and the tiny hallway and then the living room.

his chair had remained the same, by the fire place. the bookshelves looked…new. for a fact he had known that the books on those shelves were nowhere near new.

you had been talking about the newly arranged desk, picking up some of his favourite quills here and there.

but severus said nothing.

that deadpan (with the added shock) expression remained, as you looked up to your lover you could tell he was going to explode at any second.

you frowned as you put down the quills, “i’m sorry…” you mumbled, walking past him and going upstairs. closing the door on the bedroom you shared, you cried quietly to yourself as you slumped on the floor.

then the door slowly opened again, through your glossy tears you saw severus.

he then did something you almost never saw him do before, he pulled you into his arms. it had been awkward at first but you warmed up to his touch, new tears dripping down your face.

“i’m so sorry…i should have asked you, it won’t…it won’t happen again.” you mumbled.

“why are you apologizing?” severus asked.

“because, i ruined your house. i thought it would be nice to give you something nice to come home to. but you don’t like it.” you sniffled.

you did all of that for him?

“why would you think i wouldn’t like it?” severus asked again.

“because you like everything to be the same. you don’t like changes, i did too much.” you said.

if anything, severus had liked the changes you made in his home. it felt like he had stepped into a completely different place and he grew to like it.

“darling…i do love it. you’ve done the one thing i wished i could do to this home, you have no need to be upset.” severus reassured.

that made you hug him even tighter, he could only smile only to himself. you both got up and continued your tour of the newly decorated home, rambling about the tiny items that meant a lot to the pair of you.

you even had dinner freshly made, and so you both sat on the floor by the fireplace, with plates of lasagne at hand. of course you made it and severus did in fact love your lasagne. you listened to  severus talk about his day, it warmed your heart that he was able to open up to you. that he felt accepted enough by you to talk not only of the past but the present also.

you had both finished your foods and now you had been in one another’s arms, staring intently at the fires crackling in between the woody piles. from time to time, you had exchanged small kisses but they were the ones that always made the moment even more special.

“how long do you think you’ll stay with me y/n?” severus asked.

“well…for as long as we want, unless you wish to have me around. i don’t want you to be bored of me” you answered.

“how could you say that? y/n i couldn’t get bored of you. not in the slightest.” severus replied, with zero hesitation.

it shocked him how easily the words seemed to flow out of his mouth, it would take him months, hell even years to say that to someone but with you it seemed to be so easy.

and it was.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

settling in at spinners end was like any other place for you. you seemed to enjoy the dark aesthetic of the small town, how it seemed to be secluded from everywhere else in england and everyone seemed to be in their own little bubble but yet everyone knew everyone.

you had lived there for a year at that point, you had wanted to go outside. you knew a forest that wasn’t far away from the home, it had been heavily raining over the last few days. you seemed to enjoy the aftermath of the heavy rain.

“severus!” you called.

you slid into his office, his head shot up.

“ah you are clearly dressed. get your coat, we are going outside.” you said as you then disappeared.

severus seemed to enjoy when you took control of the day, he enjoyed how different every day was. with no hesitation he grabbed his coat and his scarf and joined you downstairs at the front door.

you took hold of his hand and lead him outside, you held a basket on the other hand as you then handed severus the other side of your wired earphones.

“y/n you know i will never get used to your modern traditions.” severus said.

“oh come on sevvy, you can listen to music at the palm of your hands! just this once, pretty please.” you pleaded.

severus grabbed the earphone and put it in as he then found himself listening to some classic rock song.

“it’s my favourite song.” you said.

the song in question was from a classic rock band. he was not entirely well versed in music, nor did he have an interest in it. but it was that moment something switched in him, the rhythm of the song seemed to catch onto him.

you squeezed his hand a little tighter as the music played.

“you’re enjoying it!” you squeaked slightly as you noticed severus humming along to the song.

severus only smirked and pulled you closer as you paced closer to what looked like a forest. you were the one person that would convince him to have music in his life. severus never understood the concept of it and why people enjoy it so much, but whenever music was played around you his whole life seemed to change.

there was always a song he would associate with you, which made him appreciate you more and more by the second.

“i found the perfect spot.” you said once you arrived.

you both entered deeper into the forest until nothing but the top of the trees was all you could see once you looked up.

severus looked around the spot you mentioned, serenity was you could feel. you were at peace with him.

with every second severus was with you, the more entranced he was. oh how your hair swiftly followed the breezes of the spring time winds, and when the sun slowly followed after you had looked nothing but a piece of art to him.

you were always his work of art.

“oh severus look!” you called and got up instantaneously.

severus sat up slightly, only to have his eyes on you. his gaze not leaving you, he was loved undeniably.

you sat right next to him and there you had picked up a small rabbit.

“oh severus! look at its ears, its adorable.” you squeaked, stroking the rabbit that had sooner or later, gained your trust.

severus looked to the furry animal, stroking it slowly.

you tried to let the rabbit go.

but it later came back.

you let it go back to its home, but not even five minutes later it would come back to you and severus. even making its way to severus’ lap and sleeping.

“i think it likes you.” you giggled.

it was quite adorable you thought. severus becoming a father of a rabbit within five minutes of your date together.

you enjoyed severus softening slightly at the sight of animals, seeing him tend to a stray rabbit was something you didn’t see everyday, but perhaps this would mean something for the both of you later in the line of your lives.

you scoot to severus, resting your head on his upper arm, then slowly wrapping his arm around you, you both took in the scenery, soft breaths escaped your lips as parts of the sunlight hit the forest bestowed upon you.

you felt like you spend an entire life time with him if you could.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

“y/n…i never thought i’d ask you such a question, but i fear i can’t contain my feelings any longer.” severus said.

“y/n m/n l/n…”

“will you marry me?”

you couldn’t decipher the question and then it dawned on yo.

severus wanted to marry you. someone out there was willing to marry you.

tears flooded your eyes and dropped from your face, as you couldn’t see severus through your hazy vision of your sobs.

“yes…of course i’ll marry you.” you replied.

choked sobs escaped severus, putting the ring on you and embracing you into his arms and spinning you slowly.

“we’re going to get married.” you said barely louder than your normal voice.

“we really are.”

severus didn’t want to let you go in the slightest.

and it was in that moment that you were undeniably in love with severus snape.

[krasnyel]

I would actually cry my eyes out if you drew something based on the oneshot “Save Me A Seat” by multifandomgeek on AO3. It’s a fix it and it made me weep and I kinda read it in ur art style

hello omggg now i have to check it out!!! and thank you that’s so nice of you to say 😭

[barbiehytes]

best smut you have read in branjie fanfics? M/M and F/F

*drops writworm’s ao3 profile* EVERY ONE OF THESE

Writworm is god tier smut. Period.

No but reallyyy ugh this is such a hard question, I've been thinking about my answer very seriously. I’m gonna add a break so people not interested can skip because this is gonna be looooong.

For smut I think it really comes down to preference/kinks, and I love love love anything with Brooke x Vanjie x Kameron, or any kind of jealousy. So if it has them is an instant favorite of mine, see: 

* Something in the way we move by silver 

*Love Doctor  by writ !!

*come and take a walk on the wild side 

*Someone Like You by Joley 

*jealousy is a disease (that you love to hate) by Mac

*like a fire by holtz

-Poppedthep' smuts are !!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow. my lord and saviour. ( see I’ll Be your animal, and Seattle! ) 

M/M

- Big Guy and Twinkle Toes , one of the OG smuts in the fandom 

-Feeling Something New Inside Me, by legend icon star and my boss Writ,

also I'll Get You Lost (But I'm Having Fun) and Yes Daddy, and Sweet, sexy savage , (and seriously just hop in Writs profile you won’t regret it ) 

-The smut scene in Elastic heart !! is soo good, i always remember that one! maybe cause it was so cathartic after all that they’ve been through?? 

- Distractions by Manta. THis one IS SO GOOOD

- Dane smut is so !!!!! at the front of my mind is the Bottom! B fic, the one with the sex heels, the smut in the dressing room in Cruising and that one sceneeee with a table in Werq 

 -I haven’t caught up with all of Blackhighheels fics buuut I remember some very good smut in the Aruba fic 

- Cassie is a master of dumb boy fics au and we don’t deserve her chaotic ideas or her top notch smut, porg_galore

F/F

*can't let go of the heat, can't let go of your hand - I adore this one and I couldn’t find it for a second and panicked thinking it was deleted, but THANK GOD IS HEREEEEEEEE 

*Pressed for time - This !!!!!!! Eacala is ugh. I'm seriously still praying for a miracle and that they decide to come back one day.This was one of the first m*mmy kink fics I remember and we all died and went to heaven. 

*light of my life, fire of my loins, this whole verse is ICONIC

UGH, where do I beginning

*Seriously, Writ is THE smut writer, that’s the hill I’d die on. so to try and pick my favorite from them is ahhhhhh cause they have SO MANY. but ok I shall try. I love the whole series where Brooke is a dancer and THIS ONEEE is amazing, like wow. and of course the super kinky one shot they did for me where they go to a halloween party! and this one and also this.

* Hush money, baby, my emotional support fic.  this whole verse is *chef’s kiss*  but I the smut scenes in Foreign Heights and Lighters and OMG this treat ? Jaz is an icon and we stan, we do not deserve 

*Holtz smut is SO FREAKING GOOOOD, i love love the Partition fic, the bartenders one and thiiiiiiiis 

* i love be a freak like me, too where Brooke is a professor, and this one , and the Yayo yes you series

* Napoleon Complex series !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stud Vanessa, do I need to say more??

*each and every one of sohytes stories, especially Big ole Freak. 

*The smut scenes in Beauty in the Sheets are life-changing. for real.!!!!!! Tymv is a gift.

*Mac's stoplight series is so freaking good.

*Multi's cool for the summer and, actually scratch that, everything by Multi makes me fo feraaaaaal. see this and this and this is their profile cause I could keep going asdfgh

*It’s a long way down, and The thrill of the chase. THESE. and everything Kite writes is A r t . 

* You, me and New Orleans by joleyyyyyyy !!!!!! no thoughts head empty 

* and omg Ortega’s almost smut scenes are soooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!! your move ? I CO N I C. The hot tub scene in n19f ?? i died and went to heaven. *chef’s kiss* 

I started doing a collection (?) of f/f smut bookmarks in ao3 but I haven't updated in forever, I might get to it if y’all remember me, here it is xx

Anndddd these are the ones I remember right now.  I'M SURE I MISSED some important ones djdj so anons or non anons feel free to send your recs!!

**The bold text are supposed to be links, if one doesn’t work pls let me know and i’ll fix it.

***I’m not tagging all the authors cause it’d take me ages but thank you for your work and you know I love youuuu 

[artificialqueens]

Office Rivals (Branjie) by multifandomgeek is one of my favorite one shots ever, and I’m loooove to see some Branjie fics inspired/ Lind of like it :))

.

[primofate]

Smile for Me (Part 6 - Final) Zhongli x fem!reader

Summary: Zhongli never smiled at you the way that he smiled at his memories of Guizhong. Thinking that the only way Zhongli would ever be happy is for Guizhong to come back again, you secretly set off on a journey to bring her back to life. But it comes with a price: Your life. Warnings: kind of short and simple, dont be disappointed. There’s only slight fluff. Zhongli being slightly jealous and protective tho so... MAY NOT FOLLOW THE ACTUAL LORE, not proofread. Notes: Final one. Thank you for coming along on this journey. Time to start the next one XD It’s a little short, but 

Other Chapters: Shortfic Smile for Me (Part 1) (Part 2)  (Part 3)  (Part 4)  (Part 5)

“Yes, Baizhu said that he needed help with collecting Qingxin flowers,” 

You continued to busy yourself with making tea, not noticing that Zhongli tenses up, his eyes now hovering on you. He’s silent and doesn’t quite know what to say. A few minutes pass, the only sound was the clinking of tea cups and the sloshing pour of tea into it. “...Zhongli?” You call out when you realize he hasn’t said a thing about your errands today.

“I heard you, dear,” You turn to look at the expression on his face. It’s stiff and unreadable, meaning that he had something on his mind. “Did I say something wrong?” you manage to ask, taking the tray of tea into your hands and transferring it to the work table he and you used. 

Zhongli’s eyes avert away from yours, a rare sight. He must be thinking hard on something. “...Do you remember the last time you told me you had an errand to run for Baizhu?” You blink, your memory had never been good. “...Not...particularly,”

He holds a sigh back and lazily places his head on his fisted up hand. “...You went to that tree and disappeared for days,” Your smile turns into a forced one and it was your turn to avert your gaze in shame, nervously laughing. “Ah...Yeah...Bad judgement on my part, but that was long ago. I promise it won’t happen again,” 

“I’m aware...” Zhongli starts, using a hand to lift your face up from its downtrodden gaze, “...but it wouldn’t hurt for me to accompany you,” that’s how you know that there’s still an inkling of worry in him about that incident. You didn’t refuse, so that afternoon, the two of you side by side approach Bubu Pharmacy. Baizhu had been waiting at the entrance. 

“Oh, Mister Zhongli, what a nice surprise,” Zhongli throws a smile at the other man, “Indeed. I’m merely accompanying Y/N, for today,” Baizhu nods and gives you the exact amount of Qingxin flowers he needs, along with a few other herbs and flowers. “...and that would be all...perhaps you’d be interested in having dinner today, as a reward and thanks?” 

Zhongli’s eyebrows perk up at Baizhu’s invitation to you. Well, the ex-Archon had chosen to go with you in case anything happened, but Zhongli didn’t anticipate this kind of scenario. He unconsciously crosses his arms over his chest and waits for your response. He was aware that not a lot of people knew about the growing relationship between the two of you. You were rarely seen outside together, and if you were, there wouldn’t be any hints that the two of you were romantically involved. Public display of affection was not that common between the two of you. 

You smile a little, knowing that Zhongli had stiffened up behind you. “I apologize Sir Baizhu, but Zhongli and I had dinner plans already,” Zhongli tries not to smile at the perfect rejection you had dished out, but Baizhu doesn’t seem to understand the message. “Oh, then perhaps tomorrow?”

Zhongli could not hold back the chuckle that erupted from his lips. Persistent, he thinks. Baizhu is surprised when he speaks up, “Tomorrow would be fine sir Baizhu, Y/N is excellent at using the local herbs and animals in her feasts. You’d be welcome to join us,” he pauses here, possibly to let his words sink in, “at our humble abode,” 

Baizhu looks as if the snake around his neck had bitten him. “O-oh, the two of you are--?” You secretly bite the inside of your lip. Zhongli had such ways to be stern yet long-winded at the same time. Unlike your straightforward rejection, his way, without even directly saying anything, seemed comparable to a slap in the face. And yet he did it with such calmness and humility. 

Baizhu seemed to have gotten back to his senses and waves with a sheepish smile. “I wouldn’t want to intrude,” and moments later you and Zhongli were on the way to the mountains to pick some Qingxin flowers. You laugh a little behind your hand. Zhongli knows well what you’re laughing about but he gives you his best exasperated face. “It seems that I have more worries than you just disappearing, I didn’t imagine that I had to fend off potential suitors,” 

“Not to worry Zhongli, it doesn’t happen often, and my dinners are always reserved for you,” He makes a sound of understanding, in the next moment his hand finds the small of your back as the two of you walk and he turns his head towards you. 

Your mouth slightly parts at the sight of his smile, so charming and bright and gentle. Like a magical golden cloud floating in the air. This smile, is a smile that lives in the present, not one that lingered in the past. 

This smile, was for you, and only you. A smile that conveyed and repeatedly convinced you of his loyalty and sincerity.

He leans in sideways to capture your lips in a rare show of public affection. The kiss was far too brief as you slightly chase after his lips when he parts from you.  “Thank you, dear,” and his hand stays on your back as you walk.

He was not a very vocal person, but he had always managed to make you feel loved at every juncture and every turn.

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[aziraphales-library]

Hiya! do you know any good fics with Aziraphale belonging to the gentleman's club where he learned the gavotte? thanks!

Hello! Here are some fics about Aziraphale and the discreet gentlemen’s club...

Angels Don't Dance by JekkieFan (G)

It started not long after a certain squabble in St. James park over a particular type of water. The discussion left a lingering, heavy-sour feeling in Aziraphale’s stomach.

In which an angel tries to flee from his problems by joining discreet gentleman's club in Portland Place... but which one?

do you miss me like I miss you? by multifandomgeek (T)

When Aziraphale starts giving Crowley the cold shoulder, the demon decides to take a long nap, thinking the angel wouldn’t even care.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Half an angel per pin at best by HariSlate (G)

Aziraphale is invited to a discrete gentleman's club and makes a friend.

No need to have read Raffles, or the previous work in the series.

The Govotte by Libbyfay (T)

After their last heated argument, Crowley has been sleeping for a while. He pops back in, unexpectedly, to check on Aziraphale, only to find that the angel has lately been enjoying life... and frequenting a discrete gentleman's club. Something new and positively earth-shattering has been happening, and Aziraphale had been swept up in it. Has Crowley ever heard of the Gavotte!?

Crowley isn't used to being jealous of humans.

A Regular Rip van Winkle by aurilly (T)

After almost an entire century spent asleep, Crowley wakes in 1888 to find the world more changed than he thought possible. His first order of business is to find his angel.

Also concerning the origin of the Baroque gavotte (spoilers: Aziraphale was feeling thirsty).

Like Sleep To The Freezing by WaitingToBeBroken (T)

A decade after their fight, Crowley wakes up to a new world and a different angel. What is he to do but don his human disguise and follow him to a certain discreet gentlemen's club? And if Aziraphale doesn't seem to recognise him, well, that's all for the better, isn't it?

He was going to leave after ensuring his angel was fine.

- Mod D

[insomniacaesthetic]

one more princess

Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader

Summary: Severus loves to make you fall apart with fingers over and over again.

Category: Smut

Word count: 605

A/N: sorry its short but I hope you like it nonetheless. May have to reupload this if Tumblr keeps hiding my fics tho 💀

Your body was splayed out on his bed. Wrists tied with silk ribbons to the headboard. Every so often you would struggle against your restraints when Severus’ fingers made a particularly delicious stroke. He had been going at it for hours. Overstimulation was an understatement.

He was obsessed with fingering you as he had so kindly stated earlier. Loved seeing how well you took his fingers. How easily your body responded to him. He dragged orgasm after orgasm from your shaking body with his fingers alone. Every time you reached your climax, you were certain it would finally be enough, but he kept insisting you come again for him.

“You look so pretty like this. You take my fingers oh so well princess. One more time c’mon baby.”

One more time turned into two more then three more. You kept trying to squirm away, but Severus locked you down with his body. Your legs splayed open for him, and with no way out he continued pumping his fingers in and out of your abused entrance for what felt like eternity. Paired with the occasional rubbing or sucking of your clit, you had lost count of how many times you had fallen apart tonight.

Each time your orgasm approached, he would suck on the pulse point on your neck or whisper encouragements and praise right into your ear. His hot breath causing goosebumps to form all over your skin.

Crying out how it was too much, and you couldn’t finish again only to be silenced by his condescending comments. “You can’t come again? Silly girl you’ve said that how many times tonight? And. Every. Single. Time. You. Still. Come.” Each word was emphasized with a rough pump of his long and thin fingers. Your thighs began to quiver.

“Going to come again? So soon? I thought you couldn’t do it, what happened?” He curled his fingers, so they rubbed up right against your g-spot. Tears welled up in your eyes and your thighs tensed as you fell over the edge again. Severus’ name falling from your lips like a prayer combined with pathetic whimpers. “That’s a good girl. So proud of you. I love hearing you scream my name Y/N. Keep being loud for me.” He never ceased his movements, only slowed them down temporarily.

“I can’t get enough of you princess. Give me one more.” You shook your head violently. You didn’t think you could take another one. Your mind was fuzzy beyond belief. You gazed up at Severus through half-lidded eyes. His mouth was moving. He was speaking to you, but you couldn’t comprehend the words.

He pulled his fingers from you entrance after a final climax. Still covered in your arousal, he shoved them in your mouth. You half-heartedly sucked on them.

“Poor baby. Look at you. I’ve fucked you stupid, haven’t I?” You nodded, not really understanding his words.

He removed his fingers from your mouth and replaced them with his lips. He kissed you deeply, stealing the air from your lungs. You moaned into the kiss, still needy for him despite how many times he’s made you come.

“No more baby. Time to get some rest.” Severus removed the ties that held your hands above your head, and they dropped to the bed. He chucked and pulled you on top of him, so your head rested on his chest. He stroked your back soothingly and hummed. You mewled at his touch. Your body felt aflame but he shushed you into silence. “Shh I’ve got you darling. That’s it Y/N. I’ll take care of you. Just go to sleep my love.”

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

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[blhates]

top 5 F/F branjie fics and top 5 M/M fics (I told you I'd ask that)

I hate that you did this on purpose bcs I laughed at your struggles to pick your own list, and also you know I virtually have no time to commit to reading fics hahahah.

But we’re gonna try.

Branjie F/F:

1. nobody know where we might end up by holtzmanns / @plastiquetiaras

this is actually the first F/F fic I read, and it’s honestly amazing. I read it when it was finished and I still feel bad for not leaving a comment :( but it’s honestly amazing and such a nice story

2. Napoleon Complex by orphan_account

I love the whole concept of this and I’m sad there won’t be anymore, but to do the baskeball Vanjie aesthetic just completely sits right with me and it’s just *chefs kiss*

3. game of survival by holtzmanns

I meannnn, who thinks of this? amazing, i loved it so so much. and tbh I could list all of her F/F fics because she’s honestly such a good writer it’s not even fair.

4. Last Christmas by @thankyoumissvanjie

i swear to god i was so invested and stressed out, because this was the first fic i had read as it was updated and its just sooo soo good. we don’t talk about it enough and tbh now that i think of it, i should re-read it.

5. A lifetime of promises and a world of dreams by multifandomgeek

not usually my forte, but one of the soft fics I like and would reread if I want to feel better even though it’s not all fluff.

Branjie M/M:

1. The Brightest Timeline by @theartificialdane

i’m putting the whole collection here bcs i’m not about to pick and choose, especially since i’ve read and re-read this whole thing embarrassingly about of times. Dane really came here to say ‘this is what could’ve been if those two idiots weren’t playin’ and I live for it

2. For they know now what they do by @blackhighheels

oh god, also, the whole collection because it’s such a thorough and thought out story and it made me emotional multiple times. i also re-read it many many times and if you haven’t read it, you should. also ps i’m still in suffering because the Third Time is the Charm is unfinished so help me manifest good vibes <3

3. I Bet by Poppedthep 

first thing I read in the M/M fics, I’m choosing to believe Pop is our prophet and that this is a plausible scenario that could happen irl, and it’s overall wonderful.

Unfortunately I don’t have others for this part, and my wife put me on blast, but I truly believe there are other wonderful writers I just haven’t read their stories because of my own limits, and I’m sorry for not being able to include more.

[hi-yekaterina]

So for the top10 thing.. maybe your top10 favorite fics you've read bc I have a feeling that you have excellent taste 🥰

You're so sweet, thank you for the ask!!

this was so hard to do cause I love so many fics.... jesus. I did another ask yesterday with my top 5 F/F and M/M fics, so these are the ones I couldn't put there cause I was trying really hard to only write the 5 they asked me 😂 (also I may or may not be cheating since I put way more than 10,,,, but let's pretend nobody noticed)

so let's go!

Losing All My Cool / Drawing New Lines / Game of Survival by @plastiquetiaras. I feel like I should just link her ao3 profile here lmaoo (can you see I'm a fan?). She's so talented and every single fic is so well written. You get lost on the plot, you just captivated by all the characters and their personalities.

Chivalry Fell on it's Sword / Mateo's Eight / Royals / Here Comes The Sun by @buffywhovianpotterlock. I'm extremely biased cause I admire her so much, but SHE'S JUST SO TALENTED. every single fic is so amazingly written, the characters, the plot, the extremely unique POV of every single character? Imma link her profile on ao3 here cause, ma'am, no words.

As The Star Align by @lemon-bees. This Fic is so wonderful and hurts so bad SHAKSHAK. The way they dance around each other for so long in infuriating in the best way possible. Everybody should read it cause actress Vanessa really owns my ass. take a look on their ao3 profile here

A lifetime of promises and a world of dreams by @multifandomgeek. I DON'T HAVE WORDS, MARY. I CAN'T EVEN FORMULATE COHERENT THOUGHTS WHEN I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC. The amount of fluffy??? Pregnant brooke? THEY ABSOLUTELY LOVING EACH OTHER??? I'm positively dead. take a look on their ao3 profile here

Your Move, by @artificialortega. I'm constantly amazed by how talented Ortega is. I could write an essay about alt he ways secretary Vanessa owns me. Everybody knows how much I love and admire Ortega and her amazing mind, so nobody is surprised WHKAHSK. take a look on her ao3 profile here

Night and Day by @youre-a-kite. the way this fic made me cry like a baby really is something else. I love how vulnerable our babies are and how deep their relationship already was even befo6they met in person. love how brooke finally opened herself to life and to love again? brb crying again. take a look on her ao3 profile here.

Ever Since We Met, by ariesbranjie. I don't know they author (if someone does please tag them here, I need to scream about how amazing this fic is and how talented they are.) The fic is not finished but it's so good I had to add it here. The way they're completely gay for each other since day one? I cant. take a look on their ao3 profile here

Beauty in The Sheets, by @thankyoumissvanjie. I dont even know how to start this. this fic is amazing. imma start a gc called "I cried my eyes put with BITS" cause bitch.... THEY LIVE EACH OTHER BUT CAN'T DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!!! it's infuriating and you just cant get enough of them and their relationship. take a look on their ao3 profile here

Like They Do In Vegas, by @imalwaysaslutfordrag. VANIQUE MUST RISE!!! casino girl vanessa could kill me and I'd thank her later. this is just the cutest thing ever, I cant. Mac is one of the most talented bitches I know and this fic shows that. take a look on her ao3 profile here

Sorry Baby, by silentccries. the way I love this fic really is something else. they just fell in love EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULDN'T, THEY REALLY FUCKING SHOULDN'T. the way brooke fell so hard for Vanessa and vanessa was already in the floor for her? masterpiece. take a look on their ao3 profile here

I know I did more than 10 and I'm sorryyyyy

[missjanjie]

Hey! Just found an old Branjie Hogwarts au written by you and a co-author (Not sure of their tumblr) and i’m pretty sure i know the answer but i wanted to check first, has it been discontinued? It’s incredibly well made btw!

oh yes that was something me and @multifandomgeek started but i think we hit a wall with it pretty quickly lol. but thank you!

[monster-energies]

you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own

«────── « ���ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

pairing: severus snape/reader

summary:   when the exams season takes a full force, you are doing everything that you are expected to. or rather feel obligated to do. one day severus finds you in the library and all your exhaustion and emotions are let out and you just need someone to tell you everything will be okay...

warnings: platonic teacher/student relationship, panic attacks, implications and actions of burn out and emotional meltdowns, angst

rating: teen and up audiences

ʚ♡ɞ please click here if you would like to be apart of my taglist

ʚ♡ɞ taglist: @insomniacaesthetic @eternal-silvertongued-prince @sevsssnape  @mirarenwick @diamondbitch116 @mamawolfsmith16 @nickangel13 @a-queen-and-her-throne @deepperplexity @amazingzou @yan-senna @yellowbadgermole @sevssillyincantations @alisongurl13 @inflation-of-mind @ilomessiah​ @maitre-de-marionnettes @impulse-anchor @multifandomgeeks @lady0fmischief

word count:   6717

this oneshot can be found on archive of our own

author’s note:

title's namesake: lyrics from the song matilda by harry styles

hey besties ! long time no see....again ( lets see how many times i say that LMAO ) i passed second year, got rejected from a job, travelled outside london for the first time and collected rocks. theres your authors note update SKVCVJJDJKVJD

i've been in a HUGE writing rut HOWEVER, i do want to keep writing and put out fics i love. and september and autumn is approaching which is my favourite season and i really hope i get to do this whenever i can.

i was sent anonymous request that read: "hiiii!! can i request a comforting fic where severus comforts fem! reader bcs she's having a mental breakdown and burnt out over school works since reader's now on her seventh year and some of the subjects are getting harder and harder. tysm 💚💚" and i very much resonated with this request ( because second year burnout got me LOL ) so to whoever sent this request, thank you !!  this request really challenged me as i rarely write platonic relationships but i do love me a challenge so YES !!!i hope you enjoy this oneshot !! comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated <333

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

another academic year was soon making its finish. but there was one thing blocking a hogwarts student to their freedom.

it was the exam season.

undoubtedly it was a time that burdened many students, keeping them up all night practising endless charms and endless potions.

you were no stranger to such a routine. in fact it was something you had been accustomed to all your life.

you had pretty high expectations for yourself and did not wish for those standards to go any lower. with the upbringing and your family reputation, there was no room for error.

studying and education pretty much inhabited your life, at first you loved it. then again. who wouldn’t? the concept of a routine, wearing posh (to some extent) uniform, going through the same halls everyday. not many people had this sort of life and for you, it was a privilege beyond belief. it was really chance to romanticise your life, and you didn’t know anyone outside the wizarding world who had the comfort to do that.

but all of that that came at a cost, with your parents being educators in the wizarding world. there was clearly no room for error.

you had to be perfect at every cost.

the more you had that thought linger over you every day, the more you hated studying, you hated being confined to you and your thoughts and a quill and some ink and answering things that were only right or wrong, no inbetween.

with the pressure of the newt exams, and leaving hogwarts, there was so much to think about.

and there was so much that only you, a mere human being can take.

as you were in your seventh year, there was a lot at stake, wizarding internships you’ve taken, the amount of studying you would have done, how you were perceived.

oh you took that to a different level, you knew how much was on the line.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

your day had been nothing short of horrible. you had overslept and left you no choice but to hurriedly get your uniform on and scurry to your class without any breakfast. leaving you in an unkempt state, nothing like how you would usually appear. you had transfigurations first, you thought of how you had been forgetting something and you couldn’t figure out what it was. but that was then professor mcgonagall reminded you, you were missing your cloak. you forgot it at the dorms, and you couldn’t go back to get it.

so you sat in your class, embarrassed at the fact that your professor had called you out like this in front of your entire class.

after an assortment of classes, you had one inconvenience after another happen today, and you weren’t in the mood for this at the slightest. and it was really starting to get under your skin, you didn’t want to see anyone you knew at all, then again…were you really close with anyone in this school?

so you had gone into the girls bathrooms and quietly sobbed to yourself, you were lucky moaning myrtle wasn’t around at this time…that way she wouldn’t have pestered you. not that you didn’t like her, but she was like a house fly, always around and never really leaves you alone.

you had one class left, potions with professor snape.

it had been one of your favourite classes until today. you had been dreading going into such a tense class, especially with someone like professor snape. not to say you were both on bad terms as teacher and professor, he actually tolerated you.

after the day you had, where everything had been going wrong, you could think of millions of other places to be in rather than potions.

you couldn’t focus at all, you had found yourself freezing up at each ingredient you had used up. were they even the right ones?

you didn’t even realize that your cauldron’s mixture had been bubbling until an explosion occurred, ruining your already ‘incorrect’ uniform and the cauldron breaking apart.

the classroom left in complete silence. did you fail at a potion? you failed at something and the whole class and the potions master were left  stunned.

“5 points from slytherin.” professor snape bluntly announced, much to the dismay of your classmates.

once professor snape had announced the assignment for his upcoming class, your fellow peers had left however, you froze.

severus was about to start putting everything away but hadn’t realised until now… you were the only one left.

“miss l/n. class is over. you are free to leave.” severus said.

you shot up, tears brimming your eyes as you approached him eye to eye.

“please sir, let me start again. i can perfect this potion…i know it like the back of my hand.” you stammered out.

“given your lack of participation in the class and your failure to create the potion, i cannot let you do so.” severus said.

you felt your heart sinking, severus glided away from you continuing to clear up his classroom. but suddenly he turned around to find you dropped to the floor.

“y/n!” he called.

you could only hear your quickened breathing, your urge to speak halted by your hyperventilating. severus was about to berate you for not leaving his class, but the second he saw your vulnerable state…all his guards broke down.

“miss l/n, do you know where you are?” he asked.

“p-potions!” you uttered.

“good, do you know what you’re going through right now?”

you instantly shook your head, your breathing instantly getting worse, sweating bullets and your hyperventilating soon turning into gasps of fear.

this was never something you had to go through, you couldn’t handle yourself in this moment.

that was until you felt your professor take your hands and held them tightly between his own.

“y/n…i need you to focus, only on my voice and nothing else. you have to breathe, take deep breaths in…and out…like this.” severus said. he slowly begun to demonstrate the deep breathing and you shortly followed suit.

once your professor found you capable of taking deep breaths on your own, he slowly stopped but his hands still grasped yours.

“there we go...how do you feel?” severus asked.

you only shrugged, you had twitched your lips to at least try and say something but you couldn’t say anything.

you looked to your professor and he gave you a small nod. “i don’t know…professor.” your hoarse voice croaked.

severus helped you up and grabbed a nearby chair, dragging it opposite to his desk and guided your timid body to the chair. “please have a seat.” he said.

you watched him fill up a glass of water in a cup and handed it to you.

“you’ll need it y/n, no point in hesitating now.” he said.

“if you wish to tell me anything, you have the opportunity to do so. but…if you would like some time, to calm down, garner your thoughts…i won’t kick you out.” severus assured.

upon giving you the choices, severus knew you weren’t going to tell him straight away. so he sat, marking some first year assignments. the scratchings of the quills, the bubbling of cauldrons soothed you in a way. you liked staying in professor snape’s classroom, an all round ambience that always satisfied you and made it a safe place for you.

after what felt like hours, you couldn’t let your thoughts be an additional company in this already eerie classroom.

“i had a bad day, professor.” you said.

severus perked up, putting his quill away and all his attention went to you. “how bad? on a scale from zero to ten?” he asked.

“nine and a half.” you admitted.

“quite high rather than your usual days.” severus replied.

you softly laughed at his remarks, and you nodded.

“all of the things that never entirely go wrong…went wrong today. i overslept, and i couldn’t find my cloak. i then i was late for transfiguration and got point deducted. i’ve had such horrible lessons and some pathetic first year spilt their juice all over my books as i was studying. and this class went so badly, i just…i just want today to be over.” you choked up, your tears dropping onto your uniform as you tried to wipe away your tears.

never once did severus ever see you cry. your professor had been stunned to see you in such a vulnerable state, since nobody had the courage to do so.

he didn’t know what to do.

severus was never a caring person but perhaps he could try.

“miss l/n, y/n. you know none of this is your fault, i assure you that things will get better.” severus said.

he couldn’t help but mentally cringe at his words.

“will they?” you asked, wiping away your tears.

severus nodded. handing you a napkin, and with a tinge of hesitance you took it, wiping your face rather than ruining your uniform.

he couldn’t help but think, maybe he could trust one his students? just this once.

“my classroom and my office will always be open for you. should you require my services, i will make sure i can accommodate any of your needs.” severus replied.

your eyes glimmered for a split second, you slowly begun to realise your days were moulding into the same thing everyday but this made it different.

to know that one of your teachers was trusting you and had planned on supporting you through anything a student would need, it was reassuring to say the least.

“thank you professor.” you said, with a small grin to your face.

your professor did nothing but hum slightly.

“now…how about we re-do that potion from today’s class?” severus offered.

“that sounds like a perfect idea!” you replied.

you instantly shot up and grabbed a nearby cauldron as your potions making session commenced.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

since that potions class, you felt as if you could never forgive yourself for having such a horrible day of classes. you didn’t want to be seen as a failure, especially when both students and staff alike thought very highly of you.

you had been queen of the school, you were the ones that people would look up to.

you had been put into advanced potions classes as your success, you had been expected to achieved nothing but outstanding in not just one subject but all of your subjects.

there was a word you had always slowly despised. and it had to be ‘expected.’

you wished for that word to never exist, it burdened you. weighed you down endlessly and you had no choice about it. it never came to mind until recently.

once classes were over everyday, you had taken yourself to the library to study. you practically lived and breathed it by this point, you rarely spoke to any of your classmates and found yourself very isolated without you even knowing.

as you got older, you realized that your studying was supposed to be normal, something that the wizarding world (again) expected of you. you had been drowning in your education for normalcy and it exhausted you greatly.

severus had been no stranger to your thoughts. you had been greatly open about your exhaustion and if anything he was the one you trusted.

you always went to him whether it be for advice, to get away from the usual hustle bustle of the break and lunch periods and even after classes you always found yourself staying at his class or his office.

besides from that, you never seemed to interact with anyone else these days. you didn’t know it, but slowly you isolated yourself from your classmates.

you had your regular transfiguration class, well it wasn’t regular to you. you had gotten a few questions wrong today, to which professor mcgonagall had called you out for. you hated when professors felt the need to call you out for your mistakes, you wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

and the mistakes seemed to pile on throughout the day. you were almost grateful you didn’t have potions today. had severus seen the state you were in, you would have broken down at the seems.

you entered the library, your safe haven when everything had gone horrendously wrong. you had taken varying books from the shelves and found your favourite spot, the spot in question had been near a spiral staircase, and by a clear window where sometimes, the moon would shine down on you during your study sessions.

it was truly one of your casual magics of your day.

but today was far from it.

a wave of exhaustion hit you as you slumped at your desk, opening multiple books and trying to scribble down whatever felt normal to you. whatever felt right or wrong, but you couldn’t. the longer you sat, the more drained you became.

hours, weeks, months to study for a piece of paper all to get another piece of paper that determined your future.

you were drained.

all those years of your privilege of education weighed on you. and you couldn’t help but slump over your arms and cry.

your tears dripping onto your work.

you never truly realized how lonely you were.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

“oh severus, you’re lucky i caught you! a word? if i may?” minerva asked as she caught severus right on time.

severus nodded and followed minerva. what could she possibly want?

“i’ll cut straight to the point and won’t stop you from going to your night shift. but have you spoken to miss y/n l/n as of late?” minerva asked.

now that he was thinking about it, he hadn’t seen you all day. he didn’t have his advanced potions class much to his dismay, as they had been the saving graces of his week.

“no i haven’t. i didn’t see her at all today! she isn’t in any trouble is she?” he asked, his brow cocked upwards naturally.

“oh no no, she isn’t. however i have been concerned about her as of recent months. she hasn’t spoken to any of her classmates. nor her teachers in quite a few months. i really worry that the newts are getting to her.” she said.

perhaps it had something to do with minerva being quite harsh on her seventh years, perhaps it was because you wanted to get good grades. but your reasonings were beyond her.

“so naturally you decided to approach her head of house?” severus said. minerva only nodded.

“i know how much those slytherins of yours look up to you! especially her, and believe me she is by far one of a kind. but please make sure she’s okay!” minerva said.

severus agreed, and they had both part ways. he made sure that no students were dawdling around in the corridors and much to his surprise it was awfully quiet, but of course he had known where students had been skiving off. he was hogwarts alumni himself.

once he deducted as many points as he possibly could and escorted the students back to their respective common rooms, he then went and checked the library. it would usually be quiet, however due to the oncoming examinations it was busy, however the library was closed for the night. but it wouldn’t harm him if he inspected.

quiet.

how it should be prior to the exam season.

there hadn’t been many students in the library, except there was one. all the on the top, he climbed up the spiral staircase ready to scald whoever it was. but before he could go any further, he had heard…crying. he grabbed his wand and mumbled the lumos incantation.

his face dropped slightly as he quietly reached the top floor. your books laid out all over the table, he could hear your sniffles, your body trembling slightly. he couldn’t help but frown, you were a spitting image of him in his youth.

he could remember the countless nights in which he spent all night studying because he had nobody to go to anymore. nothing fulfilled him at that time and his education was his only way out.

“y/n?” he called.

you jolted up, startled by the light that alarmed you more than anything. the sight of you was shocking to severus, he hadn’t seen you in such a state. your blood shot eyes, your dried tear stains like snail trails and your pool of tears riddled all over your books. you could see on severus’ face he was disappointed, and that got you in a complete panic.

with a wave of his wand, everything had disappeared from the table. all your personal belongings had been moved to severus’ office, for the time being.

severus knelt to your level and gently put his hand on your arm. “i think its time we had a chat.” he said.

you followed him all through hogwarts, down the spiral staircase and into the dungeons where his office had been next to his class.

severus let you enter his office and you sat opposite his desk. severus sat opposite you, he didn’t have that normal expression, it was a look of worry.

“y/n…is everything okay? some of the professors have raised some concerns. they just want to check in on you.” severus asked.

his words lingered but his voice soothened you, his words were enough for you to sob. all your emotions let out in this small office, and severus couldn’t help but frown.

he didn’t speak, severus pulled a chair and wrapped you in his embrace. never before had he been this caring towards any of his students, he would never have hugged a gryffindor to comfort them from their turmoil.

he let you cry all you needed. it hurt him greatly that one of his best students had been holding such emotions. he slowly took off his cloak and wrapped it around you, having noticed how cold you were.

after some time had passed, he slowly let go of you and you took out that napkin he gave you all those months ago and you wiped your tears on them.

“any better?” severus said. you nodded, “now then…whats got you like this?” he asked.

after a pause, you had fiddled with the hems of your jumper avoiding eye contact with your professor.

“i’m so exhausted professor. i just want this school year to be over. all my revision is going so wrong, and i can’t study. i’m so tired of everything, everything is the same professor. i wake up and i go to my classes and i answer the same questions and  then i get them wrong…and i know everyone’s going to laugh at me because they know me and they think i’m a failure, all my teachers don’t even acknowledge that i’m here and i hate it. i’m so…so alone, and i just can’t… i can’t do this anymore.” you rambled, you tried not to burst into tears again, but it was inevitable that such a thing would happen as you found yourself crying once more.

“oh y/n…” severus mumbled.

it shattered him knowing this was happening to you, severus knew you had come to him because he was the one who made your school days better, he knew what it was like to be the gifted but burnt out child and he didn’t want that to happen to you.

“it’s going to be so difficult these few months, i know how you feel and believe me…i understand. quite possibly more than you know.” he said.

“not many people know this, but i was in your shoes when i was at school. everything you are feeling is valid and if you need my assistance in anything, i would be more than happy to do so.” severus continued.

you nodded, a teary smile appeared to your face.

severus  only hummed slightly, getting up and going to the counter, grabbing the old kettle filling it with water. you sat there, wondering to yourself. how foolish you were to drain yourself to such lengths, the guilt hanging in the air like a puppet.

you heard footsteps as severus slowly returned with a mug of hot tea. “thank you…” you mumbled.

severus returned to his seat, picking up a few papers and writing in them. you watched him carefully as you sipped the tea he made. it was peppermint. much to your surprise, it was your favourite kind of tea.

“professor, what were you like at school?” you asked.

severus looked up, a shy smile appeared to your face, but it quickly disappeared. he sighed softly, you needed someone to talk to. he put his quill down and got up, rummaging through a box he had at his shelves. he had picked out a few things, nothing that you could decipher what they were.

he placed them gently at the table, you peered over and took a good look at the photos.

“is that you?” you said, pointing to the school year group photo. severus nodded, “i’m surprised you of all people can recognize me.” he said.

“well you do have quite a distinctive appearance…in a good way of course!” you reiterated.

severus half heartedly laughed, not many people in  his life managed to do that. but you did, perhaps this was a new feeling for him.

“no need to emphasise, i know you didn’t mean it like…that. but yes, i was a student here much like yourself. 1971 until 1978, i was exactly like you…” he started to say.

should he even continue?

he did.

“my studies were the only thing that could get me away from the reality i lived in, the world was too harsh and i had nobody to call home. not even my own father wanted to make the effort, so my head was always down in my endless books. i…was alone. and i still am, the people i once loved are long gone and the people i have grown to despise may not be around, but their presence still lingers…” he continued.

he had been pacing left to right by his desk, looking at the stained glass window. he could remember all the faces of those who hurt him, those who even tried to kill him. he was surprised how he even survived not one but two wizarding wars.

“i experienced everything you are currently feeling in his moment, the constant exhaustion and the fatigue. reading the same contents over and over again until you tire yourself out, having nobody to go to because you’re alone…so lonely.”

sympathy was all you could feel. you frowned upon listening to him, how could he think he think this way?

“well i don’t think you’re alone sir, you have the other professors…you have me.” you said.

severus look up slightly. the hint of realization at your words, he had you. no he didn’t.

“you? don’t be ridiculous, you’ll leave…like every other student and you’ll be glad you got rid of your pathetic potions professor.” severus snapped.

you both looked at each other, yours with worry and the latter with sheer regret.

“my apologies, i shouldn’t have said that.” severus said.

but what came was unexpected for the potions master. he heard to cup being placed quietly, and then he saw you at his side, looking at him with no shame and with that smile on your face you said…”no one should ever be alone, not even you professor.”

his heart filled with warmth, how could you be so caring and kind at your lowest moments? that was something that astounded him.

“thank you y/n…your words are greatly appreciated.” severus said.

you both sat down back at his desk, where the silence was no longer dreary for the both of you. it was calm.

“i have something for you.” severus said.

you perked up a little bit, curious to know what your professor had in store or you.

as severus looked through his desk, he then picked up a book. it was the advanced potions making book you were using, he placed it in front of you.

“professor, that’s yours…i can’t take that from you!” you stated shocked that he would hand yo something personal. not only to borrow but to even keep!

“y/n i insist. you are one of my model students, your future is bright beyond belief. i learnt a long time ago, never put your prized possessions in the wrong hands. i am  making the right decision here, this is something i want you to keep. and you needn’t worry, i have many a copy from this book.” severus insisted.

he was right! he had many copies from this book, he preferred the second and first editions of the book he had stuck by for so long and it had become a routine for him to annotate them the exact way he would have when he was a student.

“well, if you would really want me to keep this, then thank you. that means a lot to me.” you said, your true smile coming back to you.

“you’re welcome.” severus answered.

severus hadn’t even realized how long they had been in his office, but it was certain that it had been way past midnight. but the potions master couldn’t care less. even he could break the rules just this once, if it meant making positive memories for his favourite student.

he hadn’t smiled in years, listening to you talk about your interests, your future, it really intrigued him.

upon hearing how your parents were educators in the wizarding world, he found out where that stress and pressure came from. for him, it was the house. when his mother died, his father had completely taken over. the only spark that lit up the snape household was no more, his father was quick to put that out in an instant.

the smile on your face turned to a frown once you mentioned the stresses you were under, what would they think of her now? skiving off at night to hang out with her potions professor?

severus could read you like a book, he knew there was doubt in you. you were getting cold feet about leaving hogwarts, the exams, being pushed out into the wizarding world. it was all dawning on you.

“if this will be of any reassurance…i want you to know, there is absolutely no pressure for you to be perfect. whether it be in grades or how you wish to be portrayed at this school, its all entirely up to you and your future is in your hands. if in the case things…don’t go accordingly, i will make sure you go on the path you rightfully deserve.” severus said.

it was a lot to promise from him, but he figured he can push some buttons, and pull some strings if things failed. to which he was certain they won’t, but there was no harm in thinking ahead.

“now, i think its high time you got some rest madam.” he scalded slightly. as he looked to his clock and finding out it was way later than expected.

“yes professor, i’ll head back to the dorms.” you said, getting up and heading for the door but was soon interrupted but the clearing of his throat.

“oh, your cloak sir.” you said.

“keep it.” he replied.

“but you never-”

“don’t worry about that. i have spares. i came to give you this.” he answered.

he then handed you an invisibility cloak. “i want the invisibility cloak returned tomorrow.” severus added.

you looked to him and nodded. “thank you professor snape. i won’t ever forget this, not one bit. i never told you this but, you truly are my favourite teacher here.” you plucked the courage to say.

you then did the unthinkable, you gave severus a hug. he didn’t really know what to do, nobody had admitted to saying that before. his arms slowly wrapped around your back and patted it gently, once you both let go you left his office.

he felt a tear escape his eyes, he wiped it away and then looked at the door. he never realised how much of an impact he had on his students, until now.

you solidified that even he mattered in a place like hogwarts.

you made him feel so important.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

the empty dorm.

you couldn’t believe that everything was over, you got the grades you desired and you knew what you truly wanted the moment you stepped out of hogwarts.

you slowly realized that you didn’t tell professor snape about your grades. you left the empty dorm, and sped walked down the spiral staircase. the smile on your face grew wider upon entering to cool dungeons, you knocked on the door of professor snape’s office as you beamed at being in the presence of your potions master.

and then the door opened.

“y/n.” severus said.

“hi professor.”

“what brings you here? the train will be leaving soon.” he replied.

“i just wanted to take a look around one last time.” you answered.

he then made some space for you to come inside the classroom, you took a good look around at every table, every cauldron.

all the potions that were on the shelf, all the ingredients. the candle lit classroom bringing you true happiness and then you looked to your professor.

you thought of all the good memories you made with him. it was truly funny. you had spent the most time with him, more than any other teacher. you remember how excited you would always be to go to potions class. everyone would ask you why you would be happy to see someone as grouchy as professor snape, and it was a question that had many many answers.

but you just did. you liked it.

you then rummaged through your bag  and handed him a piece of a paper. a transcript of your grades.

“i never showed you did i?” you said.

severus shook his head, you watched him unfold the paper and there he saw the grades. outstandings with a few exceeds expectations, he saw the outstanding grade in potions and a smirk on his face. he looked to you and nodded approvingly.

handing you the paper back, that small twitch in his lips grew a little wider this time.

“you’ve done me very proud y/n.” severus said as he patted your shoulder lightly.

you had a smile that lit up the whole class. hearing your favourite professor say that meant the world.

you hadn’t heard those words in a very long time.

“go on y/n. the train is waiting.” severus said handing back your results.

“oh right…” you said, wiping away a single tear. before you left the potions class, you turned back to professor snape….one last time.

“thank you professor. for everything.” you said.

severus nodded. “it was a pleasure knowing and teaching you.” he replied.

you smiled tearfully, severus saw you almost breaking apart and that was the last straw for him. he glided to you and gave you a tight hug.

“you’re off to do great things y/n, i know it. and i’m so proud of you.” he said.

you were going to miss him.

the greatest teacher you had ever known.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

it had been years upon teaching you. severus had yet to find a student that can match what you had, he had been going through diagon alley when all of a sudden, he had seen a long que at one of the book stores. he then saw your name in the window.

next thing he knew, he saw your name on the building.

he didn’t bother lining up, he had barged past people and entered the shop that had your name on it.

a brochure on the table’s entrance that read: ‘y/n’s corner. for all your wizardly needs.’

“excuse me, have you seen miss l/n? i believe she owns the shop.” he asked.

“oh she’s not here at the moment.” one of the workers said.

and there he stood.

not bothering to move from the shop

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

“y/n, thank goodness you’re here. some git barged into the que and he isn’t leaving the shop! its 6 o’clock, we have to close now.” the worker said.

“right…well, you can go home. i will close the shop tonight, okay?” you said.

the worker nodded and went to grab their things and left.

the worker took one look and left, flipping the label from open to closed. severus watched the worker leave, and then back at the shop, and there he saw you.

“hello professor.” you said.

your grin wider than ever as you approached him and gave him the longest and tightest hug. he was taken aback at first but warmed up to your touch.

you stayed like that for quite some time before eventually one of you let go.

“its good to see you again y/n.” severus said.

“oh we’re finally on first name basis now!” you replied.

“it’s nothing but 4 years since you left. you can call me severus now.” severus answered.

“well…severus you haven’t aged at all, not since the last time i saw you.” you teased, testing his name out on him and needless to say it was a perfect name for him.

“i see you’ve made a name for yourself. your shop has everything.” as severus changed the subject he continued to look around the shop, he sat down at one of the chairs and watched you pt everything back into its places.

“i took a year away from education, making this shop felt like my true calling. obviously i would like to go to university but this shop keeps me going. oh if you’d like the tour, books and all your educational essentials are on the second floor, all your magical needs are on this floor here and the bottom is my favourite place, the café.” you said.

severus got up and took a good look around, the vials of potions and ingredients labelled at the bottom. he put them back and made his way to the second floor where you had been sorting out the books.

what caught his eyes was your name on one of the books.

“you’ve been writing?” severus asked.

you perked up from one of the shelves and stood by severus, by the time you had stood next to him he felt something completely brand new.

his heart had skipped a beat when you were in his presence, you picked up the book and flipped through the pages.

“i write a bit of everything, i think its going to be the one of the many things i love for a very long time.” you asked.

severus couldn’t have been more happier, while he didn’t show it he was happy that you had made a name for yourself in the wizarding world.

you grabbed a marker and slipped a piece of paper into the book, handing it to him with a smile.

“here. its on me.” you said.

“are you sure? i’m capable of paying.” he asked with a brow raised.

“i insist.” you replied.

he looked to the clock, it had been getting late.

“well…i appreciate this y/n, i’ll be heading off.” severus replied.

“will i be seeing more of you?” you asked.

“perhaps you will.” he answered.

you beamed, as you both went to the bottom of the shop you felt something warm grow inside you. it was like you were back at hogwarts, staying in his class after your day has ended. talking to him about your day and he would listen.

before you and severus parted ways once more, you grabbed a hold of his hand, both your eyes glistening at one another and then you pressed a kiss to his cheek. it was quick but it was enough for severus to be completely stunned. he had a tighter grip on the book you gave him, his pale complexion suddenly turning a tint of red as he gazed at you.

“i’ll see you around, severus.” you finally brought yourself to say, leaving to go back to your job.

as much as it shocked him, he couldn’t leave. he watched you from afar and then slowly, begun to walk away.

he then looked to the book.

he apparated back to spinners end, once arriving at his home, he sat down in his arm chair and read the book you gave him. it was fiction of some sorts, he rarely read fiction. not since he was a child. but as he continued reading he could practically envision you at your desk, writing away with that grin on your face and was very much drawn in at every word you wrote.

once the story had been over he saw the acknowledgments page he continued to read.

many people in my life had expected a lot from me and i’m certain dear reader, that if you picked up this book you would feel the same. i hope this piece of fiction gave you happiness, or you hold it in a special place in your life whether it be publicly or privately. my biggest dedication goes to the first person who ever saw such potential in me. severus snape.

my potions professor at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. anyone who knows him well understands how much of a tough nut he is to crack but with myself in particular, he was truly the kindest of people. he supported me constantly in my seven years at hogwarts and helped me realize that the people who ‘know’ what’s right for you are the ones who want you to do so much in such little time, but severus snape never expected me to be a certain person. his presence in his classes made me feel safe, when it was just myself and him helping me out in potions, he made it a safe environment for me to succeed and i couldn’t be more fortunate to have met a teacher like him.

so to severus snape, thank you for all you’ve done.

his brows furrowed as his eyes glazed over the acknowledgment. over and over, moment by moment his heart turned warm. but then he realized that wasn’t the only thing you left him, he unfolded the letter. the letter you gave him.

hello severus,

i think by now you must have finished the book. i wouldn’t be surprised if you did. i know how powerful your memory can be and your ability to retain information always astounded me, even as a student.

i wanted to give you this letter as a sign of my appreciation. i wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me in my time at hogwarts. i know i’ve definitely had my low moments, you have seen this first hand. but nonetheless, i just wanted say thank you.

thank you for being one of the best teachers at hogwarts, no wonder that you’re the best potions master in the wizarding world.

thank you for always helping me be a good student and also a good person. you helped me understand that whatever outcome i have in my grades and in my education, it doesn’t reflect on who i am as a person. i never knew what that was until you brought it to my attention all those years ago.

thank you for everything you’ve done for me at hogwarts.

you were always my favourite professor and you still are. i hope you hear that often these days.

thank you once again.

signed, y/n l/n.

he read the letter once more before gently placing the book and letter at the table by the fireplace, his eyes welled with tears as your kindness slowly begun to sunk in.

he hadn’t heard anyone tell him anything from what you wrote in that letter, and he was more than grateful he had heard it from you.

severus would never have known, but he knew it was certain.

you would be perfect for him…

[barbiehytes]

do you have any fic recs???

SOOOOO MANY.I could spend all day gushing about all the incredible fics and authors so it would really help me out if you could give me some basics of what you are looking for?? like lesbians, smut, angst, wip or completed… but just at the top of my head right now: Beauty in the Sheets: if you need some lesbians and sex goddess Brooke and an awesome plot that is blowing my minddd 

Greys anatomy AU with a twist / this is my favorite thing in the world right now 

anything in the Brightest Timeline verse, thats the world we all want to live in 

if you like to suffer, have your heart absolutely crushed and end up hating an author there is Notebooks & post its 

my baby who changed my life with Big Ole freak, shes singlehandedly bringing stud Vanessa to life 

and as always this is a Poppedthep stan account first so go read this Vanjie centric drabble full of pretty woman references but there are soooo many more!!  ❤️❤️

[artificialqueens]

You're beautiful, no matter what I used to say - (Nina/Brooke) - multifandomgeek

Summary: To Brooke, beauty is everything. So when she starts getting feelings for a girl completely outside her type, she just tries to ignore it.

-

A lesbian, college AU

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606846

–

Brooke lived for beauty. She loved every aspect of it, and it was part of all of her favorite subjects: makeup, fashion, design. She had a good eye for it too, be it in art or in people, and she was proud of that. In her first year of college, she already knew it would be an important aspect of her life, no matter if she decided to design clothes or graphic material (she was still thinking about it).

To her, It was extremely important to look her best at all times. It only made sense, and she would rather spend less on food than go without her trusted brands of makeup, even if with her clothes she could be a little more creative to fit her budget.

Beauty was everything, and when she found herself attracted to someone, appearance was always on the top of the list. Some people might call it shallow, but for her it was just a clear sign that that girl had something in common with her. Even when she was a young teen, it had seemed so obvious that she would be a lesbian because women were just the most beautiful creatures on earth. It was simple.

She liked girls with softly smoked eyes paired with red lips, or colorfully blended eyeshadow with a bold personality. She liked voluptuous hair that she could tell was fancy just from looking at it, or maybe short, well-kept styles that exposed a long neck and big, stylish earrings. But most of all, she liked girls’ curves. A lean body, round just in the right places, that she would pull closer to her with a hand strategically placed on their lower backs.

She could never see herself with a less than perfect girl. It was just who she was. Some people valued romance, others valued loyalty, and Brooke valued beauty. To each their own.

“Why are we doing this again?” Brooke asked Detox, her best friend, who had dragged her to a LGBTQ event one afternoon.

“Because we’re queer, and we should give back to the community,” said Detox, fixing her lipstick in a small mirror while they waited for the thing to begin. It was supposed to be an auction, or was it a bingo? Brooke didn’t really care.

“Give back for what?” mumbled Brooke, looking around as they sat down, seeing if she could at least score a good lay from this, but everybody seemed a little… weird.

Detox elbowed her. “Aren’t you out, you ungrateful cunt? Don’t take that for granted.”

Brooke rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything else. She looked at her nails and accepted her fate, if only for Detox’s sake. She knew her friend had another relationship entirely with being gay, and even if Brooke didn’t get it, she wasn’t that big of an asshole to not be able to stand a few hours in a boring lecture (what even was this event?) to support her best friend.

The room they were in was relatively small, with a few rows of plastic chairs pointing to a raised platform on one of its extremities, where a podium with a microphone was set. It reminded Brooke of the church her mother used to go to when she was little, if with a lower ceiling. The chairs were about half full, and she supposed this kind of thing wasn’t very popular. It wasn’t difficult to understand why, considering Brooke herself didn’t want to come in the first place.

She and Detox were sitting at one of the last rows. They usually found themselves in that position, often because they wanted the option to leave in the middle of things, but maybe it was just a habit that came from being popular and not caring much about school. There were all kinds of people scattered around, a lot of them clearly alone, and Brooke couldn’t help but pity them. Maybe this organization (was it a club?) was important for some people after all.

“Okay, guys, sorry for the delay,” said a girl taking the podium with a hurried demeanor and a giant smile. She didn’t talk on the mic, but her presence was enough to make the low chatter that had filled the room stop all at once. “We’ll begin in a minute, but while we don’t, Josh will pass a list for you to fill in with your contact info. It’s completely optional, and we’ll use it to keep you updated with our activities.”

A guy with bright blue hair waved two clipboards with pens tied to them, so everybody could see, before handing them to people sitting on opposite sides of the room. Brooke dismissed it completely, turning her gaze back to the girl at the podium, who was now going through a stack of papers with an air of confident professionalism, a soft smile still playing on her lips.

She was a big girl, probably as tall as Brooke and who knows how much heavier. She had her dark blonde hair brushed back and kept in place by a headband, with a few strands dyed pink, almost randomly and already quite faded. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a logo that was probably that of the LGBTQ association. There was no makeup on her face apart for a nude lipstick. Maybe a little concealer, if that, not that Brooke could notice at that distance. She caught herself thinking she could be sort of pretty, if she put some effort into it.

“Is this working?” said the girl, grabbing the mic, that was, indeed, working. “Okay, it is, haha,” she laughed, and Brooke smiled with her. What? “Hello everyone, and welcome. My name is Nina West, I’m the head of our LGBTQIA+ Association. I want to thank everyone for coming, it means a lot for us, and know that you’re always welcome here, no matter what.” Nina’s smile was so genuine Brooke couldn’t help but believe her, even though it was probably a speech she had delivered a hundred times.

Nina went on to list the weekly activities held by the association, that included game and movie nights, soccer practice, singing lessons, support groups, activism meetings, and so many other things that Brooke was genuinely surprised. The clipboard for the contact info reached her and she almost filled it in before remembering she didn’t actually want to be there. She passed it over to Detox, not looking if she was filling it herself in favor of keeping watching Nina. “We’ve had sewing and fashion design workshops for the last few months, and everyone was so good we decided it would be fun to show it off!” said Nina excitedly. “Tonight, our models are all LGBTQIA students who attended the workshops and made or embellished the clothes they’re wearing. So please give it up for our first artist, Trevor!”

Brooke was smiling and clapping with the crowd before she could think about it. A lanky boy wearing a short sequined dress appeared from behind her to parade through the center of the room, between the rows of chairs. The dress was not very remarkable, but Trevor was smiling so much, strutting like he truly believed he was on a runway, that it seemed more beautiful than it actually was. He went up to the stage and made a few poses while people cheered and clapped.

Nina walked to him, smiling so proudly you’d think she was his mom. “Hi Trevor, how are you?” she pointed the mic to him so he could answer.

“I’m fabulous!” said Trevor.

Nina laughed wholeheartedly and Brooke’s heart did something weird. “You are!” said Nina. “Did you make this from scratch?”

“Yes,” said Trevor, a little more shyly. “Sasha helped a lot, but yeah.”

“It’s amazing!” said Nina. “Isn’t it, you guys?” she turned to the small audience, who whistled and cheered. “You’re incredible, Trev! And fabulous.” She pointed at him, while kindly leading him to stand on the corner while she announced the next model, this time a girl in a big puffy jacket.

The fashion show went on, and while some of the garments were… well, questionable, a couple were really well made and tasteful. The last person to walk the make-shift runway was Sasha, the person who most people mentioned as their mentor. Brooke couldn’t really tell if they were a boy or a girl, and it was fascinating. They were absolutely beautiful, despite the bald head, which was so bizarre in Brooke’s mind. Sasha was wearing a long red gown that was so gorgeous it should be on a red carpet. Brooke wanted to meet them.

In fact, now that she thought about it, a workshop might be just what she needed to decide on what major she should pursue. She could have a taste of the real thing and see if it seemed like something she wanted to do for the rest of her life, then go for the fashion career. If not, then graphic design could be the right choice after all. It was at least worth a try.

She explained it to Detox once the event was over. To say she looked surprised was an understatement, the other girl surely expecting Brooke to want to leave as soon as possible. People were talking and mingling around the room. Brooke noticed nobody was alone anymore, and it gave her a weirdly nice feeling. She felt nervous as she approached Nina, which was even weirder. She never had problems talking to people before, but this girl was something else.

“Hi,” said Brooke once Nina was free from a conversation with one of the students who had modeled.

“Hi!” said Nina with a gentle smile. She was just as tall as Brooke, and her eyes were so pretty.

“I’m Brooke,” she said, extending her hand.

“I’m Nina, nice to meet you.” Nina’s handshake was firm yet comforting.

She must give the best hugs, Brooke thought. What was going on with her today? “I was wondering if those sewing workshops are still going on?”

“Yes, of course!” said Nina, letting go of Brooke’s hand, that suddenly felt cold. “It happens on Wednesdays at 7 p.m. Did you put your email on the contact sheet?”

“Oh. No, I, hm…” Brooke trailed off, not knowing what she could say.

“It’s fine,” said Nina without missing a beat. “Just show up a few minutes earlier and we’ll set you up.” She touched Brooke’s arm, smiling.

Brooke just wanted to be her friend so bad. “Okay, then. I will. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Nina. “See you then.”

Brooke made her way back to Detox, who was watching her with a weird smile on her face.

“I think you have a crush on pink girl,” said Detox.

“What? Of course not, she’s-” Fat, Brooke wanted to say, but refrained. Detox just chuckled and shook her head, not looking like she believed Brooke at all. Brooke looked back at Nina, who was now talking to Sasha. One of the pink strands of her hair had fallen down her face, brushing her cheek, and Brooke wanted to pull it back for her. “She’s so nice, though.”

–

When Wednesday came around, Brooke found her way back to the Association room all by herself. She was very excited, the prospect of doing something passion-oriented so refreshing after so many weeks of exhausting classes. She had dressed sensibly professional, changing after her classes just to feel more confident going in. She had even applied a new nail-polish just the day before, predicting she would get there barely knowing how to thread a needle and wanting to be at the top of her game to cope with her anxiety.

She was 15 minutes early. The chairs were all piled in one corner, making space for a few long tables that were scattered in the center of the room. Sasha was there, taking pieces of fabric out of a suitcase and organizing them on the tables. Near the door, there was a desk where another girl sat, working on a laptop. She looked up when Brooke approached.

“Can I help you?” she asked. She wasn’t rude, but Brooke was expecting Nina. Of course, Nina couldn’t be there all the time, and the disappointment pooling in Brooke’s stomach made absolutely no sense. She didn’t come here for the other girl, she came for the sewing. Right?

“Hi, I came for the sewing workshop? Nina told me to come early because I’m new.”

“Oh, welcome,” the girl smiled. She had curly brown hair and warm eyes, but it just didn’t hit quite as good. “I’m Meatball.”

“I’m- what?”

The girl laughed, pleased at Brooke’s reaction. “Meatball. It’s not my real name, don’t worry, my parents weren’t that mean,” she said, opening a drawer and rummaging in it for a moment before finding a piece of paper that she handled to Brooke. “Fill this out and you’re good to go.”

It was a form for Brooke’s basic information, with a few unusual boxes like “pronouns” and a line saying you could use whatever name you’d like, it didn’t have to be your official one. For a split second, Brooke thought about how unnecessary that seemed, but then it hit her where she was, and she wondered how much of a difference a detail like that made in making people feel welcome there. A lot, she supposed.

“HI, DIVA,” Meatball suddenly shouted, startling Brooke, who looked up to see Nina at the door. Her heart started beating faster, inexplicably.

“HI, DIVA,” Nina yelled back, leaning over the desk to… wiggle her tongue at Meatball? It was like they were having an open-mouthed, exaggerated kiss, but without actually touching. It was ridiculous, kind of disgusting, and Brooke wanted Nina to do it to her too.

Nina turned to Brooke. “You came!” she said, and Brooke didn’t even know when she started smiling.

“Hi,” she said. Nina had her hair up in a ponytail today, and was wearing a more delicate top than the t-shirt that Brooke saw her in last time. It had a nicely cut cleavage, and wow, those were nice tits. Brooke snapped out of it before she ogled for too long, swiftly finishing her form and handling it to Meatball.

“Have you met Sasha yet?” asked Nina, placing a hand on Brooke’s back.

“Not really, no,” said Brooke, being guided to the tables, not taking her eyes off Nina.

���Hey, beauties,” said Sasha as they approached, and their voice was just enthralling.

“Hi, gorgeous,” said Nina, kissing Sasha’s cheek. “I have a new student for you, this is- oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot your name,” said Nina apologetically.

“Brooke,” she said, extending her hand to Sasha, who shook it. “Nice to meet you.” Nina forgot her name. That was cool, it was fine. They had talked for what, 10 seconds? At least she remembered her. Brooke was not at all saddened by it, that would be ridiculous.

Sasha asked Brooke what did she expect from the workshop and they started talking about the Fashion Design program, Sasha being a junior and a great source of information on the matter. Brooke should be more interested, really, and not fighting to pay attention as Nina slipped out of the conversation to talk to Meatball again.

But Sasha was their own kind of creature, and Brooke was genuinely mesmerized by them, even if her mind was playing tricks on her. Soon, she found herself hanging on every word as Sasha talked about beauty, in a completely different way than Brooke ever heard someone talk about the subject before. Soon, a few more people arrived, and Sasha had to cut the conversation short to start the class, leaving Brooke wanting more and at the same time with too much to think about.

There were about a dozen people in the room, and they were separated accordingly to what they wanted to learn. A few people were making clothes from scratch while others were decorating. Brooke was placed at a corner with a boy who taught her how to turn on the only sewing machine they had and how to make it work. It took a moment, but she got the hang of it, feeling immensely proud when she finally got the thing to whirl into motion, threading a line on a small piece of fabric, just for practice.

Once Brooke learned how to do the bare minimum on the machine, Sasha asked Nina to show her how to thread a needle and stitch something by hand, while someone else used the machine. Brooke was so happy to have an opportunity to talk to Nina again that she didn’t even feel when the needle punctured her finger as she tried to put a thread through its impossibly small hole.

“I didn’t think you were going to be in the class,” said Brooke, putting her finger in her mouth and sucking on it. Nina’s gaze zeroed on her lips for a moment and Brooke felt like smirking.

“Oh, I love it,” said Nina, quickly finding something to do on the table. “I’m not very good at it, but Sasha is such a great teacher, I can’t help but keep coming back.” She was avoiding looking at Brooke’s face; it was adorable and made something sparkle in Brooke’s chest.

“I think I want to be a fashion designer too,” said Brooke, going back to trying to thread the needle.

“That’s great! I’m a theater major, so it’s really useful for costumes and such, but I could never create things like you guys,” said Nina, relaxing a bit once she noticed Brooke’s finger wasn’t in her mouth anymore.

“This is frustrating. I might as well just give up on that dream,” said Brooke, lowering the needle with a huff.

Nina laughed. “You can practice that later. Here, have mine.”

Brooke was still hung up on the fact that she made Nina laugh, taking the needle with a thread already in it from her hand. Nina showed her how to make a simple stitch, and let her practice while she worked on her own project, a hoodie with a small hole in the seam that she was trying to fix.

They kept talking while doing it, and Brooke found out Nina was two years her senior, but had been in the queer association since day one, and for her, it was the most important part of her college life. She told Brooke a few stories about students that found there a true beacon of hope, and how she was so very proud of helping to build a safe space for the community in campus, even if that proved risky sometimes.

“What do you mean, risky?” asked Brooke.

“Oh, you know, just your regular bigot professor, sometimes a group of students who think they can just throw slurs at us and we’ll stay quiet. Oh, and of course, every time there are some cost issues, we are the first thing to pop up on the administration’s mind. It’s been fine nowadays, I just have to pay attention, it’s not like when-” She interrupted herself, looking away before she looked at Brooke again. “Hey, you’re almost finished. I have to show you how to tie a knot in the end now.”

“I want to help,” said Brooke all of a sudden. She didn’t know where that came from, this was supposed to be something she was doing for her own sake, selfish in every sense of the word. Brooke was not the kind of person who volunteered, and she was certainly not the kind of person who did things impulsively just to impress some pretty girl.

Wait, what?

“I’d really appreciate that, Brooke,” said Nina, looking into Brooke’s eyes.

Oh, what the hell.

“I have to look at my schedule, but I can free some time for you- for the association, I mean. I’m pretty good with time-management, I can help with whatever you need.” Her heart was pounding. She wondered if she could become familiar enough to have Nina kiss her cheek when she said hello to her too.

“Thank you,” said Nina, smiling in a way that felt like a reward in itself. She quickly walked to Meatball’s desk and took a slip of paper from the drawer, coming back to give it to Brooke. “Send me an email, we always need more people.”

It wasn’t like getting her number, but it was something. Not that Brooke liked her that way.

“I will.”

–

Volunteering, as it turned out, was work. A lot of work, especially if you just couldn’t find the heart to say no to the person in charge, even if there was an exam coming up or an essay due.

“You know, if you just boned her your life would be so much easier,” said Detox one day, roughly two months after Brooke started volunteering at the association. She was sitting at Brooke’s bed, watching the blonde apply concealer under her eyes to hide the signs of her tiredness.

“Fuck off,” said Brooke, focusing on her makeup and trying not to think about just how much she wished she could take that advice.

Becoming friends with Nina was easy. She was a very friendly person. In fact, she had a lot of friends, and Brooke was absolutely not jealous of any of them, nuh-uh, especially not the gay boys who kissed her on the mouth to say hello. Not at all.

Being friends with her was even easier, Nina was kind, sensitive, a great listener, but perhaps her greatest quality was her sense of humor. It just matched Brooke’s, in a way that sometimes left both of them with tears in their eyes. She just liked being with her, everything seemed so much better when Nina was around. Brooke smiled more, did more things that she was proud of, Nina just made her a point-blank better person, and happier too.

Brooke was so in love with her it was dizzying.

“Why haven’t you made a move yet?” said Detox. “Didn’t you say you could have, and I quote, ‘any fucking girl you wanted’?”

“Did I actually say that? God, I’m obnoxious,” said Brooke, scrunching her face at herself.

Detox laughed. “That’s not the point. What’s the deal with this girl?”

“I’m ready,” said Brooke, finishing touching up her lipstick and capping it, completely ignoring the question. “Come on, let’s go.”

Detox rolled her eyes, following Brooke outside so they could walk to class together.

–

Later that week, Brooke found herself at Nina’s place, together with half a dozen people as they did a task force to organize a bunch of paper-related tasks, including cutting up hundreds of flyers for upcoming events, which was what Brooke was doing. Her thumb was sore already, and so were her cheeks from all the laughing.

“Look at this bitch,” said Meatball with her phone pointing at Brooke’s face, probably filming an Instagram story. “Who puts on that much makeup to get paper cuts?”

“That reminds me, I got something for you,” said Brooke, reaching in her jeans pocket and bringing out her middle finger.

Meatball laughed, putting her phone down. “She’s growing on me,” she said to Nina, who was behind a laptop, trying to fix some finance sheets with Josh. Nina looked at her fondly. Brooke had been trying to stare less at her, but sometimes it was just impossible.

They kept working, the conversation switching back an forth between the most stupid things and important matters regarding the association. As the night progressed, people started to leave, but Brooke stayed put. There were still too many flyers to cut up, and besides, she had nowhere else she’d rather be.

“Look at this,” said Nina at some point, sitting beside her on the couch to show a video on her phone. It was of a couple dancing at their wedding. The camera only focused on the couple for one second, however, before zooming in on a little girl standing with the crowd wearing a hulk mask and a cute, flowery dress. It was so funny, and they watched it too many times.

“Every time I come to your house I have to put on waterproof mascara,” said Brooke, dabbing at the corner of her eyes.

Nina chuckled. “You could not put mascara at all, you know.” Brooke gasped, overdramatically, making Nina laugh even harder. “I don’t get it, honestly. You’re so pretty, why do you do all that?”

“You think I’m all that pretty precisely because I do all that,” said Brooke, trying to play down how flustered the comment actually made her. She noticed they were alone in the apartment now, not knowing how she could’ve missed it. Her heart went crazy.

“Yeah, right,” said Nina, leaning her elbow on the back of the couch. “I’m sure you’re just a monster without lipstick on.”

Brooke shook her head, not knowing what to say. She liked wearing makeup, but lately she had been thinking maybe she relied too heavily on it. It was a work in progress. In any case, she couldn’t just not try to look her best whenever she was seeing Nina. Because if she wasn’t beautiful, then what was she?

“Beauty is all I have,” said Brooke, focused on the paper she was working on.

“What are you talking about?” said Nina. “Brooke you’re not just beautiful, you’re so much more than that.”

“I know.” Brooke smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks,” she completed, hoping that would be the end of it.

“Hey,” said Nina softly, taking the scissors and paper from Brooke’s hand and putting it away. “Talk to me.”

There were tears in the corner of Brooke’s eyes. Fuck. “It’s nothing, I’m fine. I just used to be so obsessed with standards, you know? Thought it was so important, and it’s not. But it’s what I am, right?” she shrugged. “I’m pretty. I’m not particularly smart, or kind, or-” Nina looked so beautiful today, her hair let down and her pink strands recently retouched. Her eyes were searching Brooke’s so kindly it was overwhelming.

“Who let you believe that? That’s not true, Brooke. You’re all of those things.”

It was so hard not to believe Nina. “I sort of like this girl, and I’ve never felt like this before. It’s like I didn’t know my heart was frozen until she took it in her hands and warmed it up, and now I’m so much better because of her.” Brooke sighed. She didn’t know what she was doing, but now she was talking and she couldn’t stop. “But she’s so amazing, she just deserves better than me. Way better.”

“Brooke,” said Nina, kindly, taking her hand. God, Brooke liked her so much. “Don’t tell me you don’t know the effect you have on people, I’m sure whoever this girl is she’d be so lucky to have you.”

“No, you don’t get it,” said Brooke, getting up, suddenly frustrated. “It’s not just about sex, okay? Yeah, I want her, but it’s not just that.”

“That’s good, it’s great! So tell her! Wait, is she straight?”

“No,” Brooke chuckled at the absurdity of it.

“Oh, good. So tell her! Brooke, you’re an amazing person, you deserve love.”

Brooke looked at her. She was up now too, looking like it didn’t even cross her mind that this girl could be herself. If it did, maybe she wouldn’t be saying these things.

“Yeah, maybe I will,” lied Brooke. “Thanks, Nina.”

Nina hugged her. Brooke closed her eyes, resisting the urge to bury her nose in her neck.

“Who is it?” asked Nina, pulling back. “Do I know her?”

Brooke shook her head, panicking.

“If we ever cross by her you have to tell me!” she was holding both of Brooke’s hands now, smiling at her. “Who could’ve gotten you so hard? I’m so curious!”

She looked so happy for her, so excited that Brooke had told her this. She probably wouldn’t let this go, would keep encouraging Brooke and being the wonderful friend she usually was. How painful would that be, watch Nina give her pep talk after pep talk while Brooke kept lying to her? Brooke didn’t think she could stand it.

“It’s you,” Brooke blurted out, watching as Nina’s smile faltered. She pulled her hands back, regretting it, regretting it so much.

“Huh? Oh, you’re just messing with me,” said Nina with a weird half-smile, swatting at Brooke’s arm.

Brooke smiled weakly. “I wish.” She looked away, trying to locate her bag. “Maybe it’s better if I just leave. Yeah, I can take some of these flyers and finish them at home,” she was already in motion to pick things up when Nina’s arm on hers stopped her.

“I don’t get it. You’re serious?” Nina sounded so confused. Brooke couldn’t look at her.

“Yes,” she said it looking down, daring to turn back to Nina only after a beat, meeting her frown and her beautiful eyes with a curtain of doubt in front of them.

“But I’m-” she didn’t finish, but Brooke could see the insecurities in her expression. She was confused, wary, and thinking things that did not belong in her head.

“You’re beautiful. So beautiful. And I don’t mean just on the inside.” Brooke took a step closer, against her better judgment. Nina was the same height as her, but suddenly it felt like she was shorter, smaller. “The way I feel about you, it’s-” she took a deep breath, lost for a moment in Nina’s eyes.

“Don’t play with me. This isn’t funny.”

“You don’t have to like me back, Nina, it’s okay. Really, I promise you. But please, don’t doubt that I do.” Brooke’s emotions were all over the place. She kind of wanted to hide, but at the same time, she couldn’t move.

“Have you been listening to me?” Nina’s voice was low, and she took a step closer, making Brooke’s breath hitch in her throat. Her hand went up to touch Brooke’s jaw, shakingly. Brooke’s eyes closed in their own accord, and she could feel Nina getting even closer. “Look at me.”

Brooke did, and she was so close. She almost couldn’t believe this was happening. Nina’s eyes focused down on her lips and suddenly Brooke’s mind was too cloudy to think anymore. She just reached up, framing Nina’s face before she closed the gap and brought their lips together.

Nina immediately pulled her closer, pressing their bodies against each other’s, and Brooke felt a shiver run down her spine. She heard a faint moan escaping her throat as her hands slid down Nina’s face to reach her neck, the kiss deepening as their tongues found one another’s, Nina’s hand moving to tangle in Brooke’s hair, her blunt nails raking her scalp deliciously.

Brooke arched against her, wanting to get closer, closer, so much so that Nina stepped back. It made their bodies be too far apart, and Brooke stepped closer again. They were so lost in it that they didn’t realize they were right next to the couch, and as Nina tried to walk back one more time, this time keeping a hand firm on Brooke’s back, her leg hit the couch and she stumbled down, taking Brooke with her.

They fell gracelessly on the cushions, Brooke on top of Nina, her face so close to her breasts that she felt dizzy. Nina started to laugh, her hand still in Brooke’s hair. Brooke laughed too, sitting up and taking in Nina’s swollen lips, faintly stained by Brooke’s lipstick. She couldn’t even fathom how she could have ever thought that Nina was less than gorgeous.

Brooke probably wasn’t smiling anymore, too entranced, and Nina sat up straight too. She looked insecure again, but Brooke didn’t even want to entertain it, and just leaned in to kiss her again. It was softer this time, and Nina sighed into it. Brooke moved to kiss her neck, sucking lightly at the skin and relishing in her smell. God, she’d pictured this so many times.

Nina’s hand was in her hair again, and Brooke was getting too hot. But this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. “I want to take you on a date,” said Brooke, leaning back to look at her face, not without some effort.

Nina smiled. “Yeah,” she nodded, capturing Brooke’s lips again. Her hand slid down Brooke’s side, slipping into Brooke’s shirt to grip her waist. Brooke thought she was going to combust.

“Wait,” said Brooke, breathless. “I don’t wanna rush into anything, I was serious when I said this wasn’t just about sex, Nina, I want to do this right.”

She was interrupted by Nina’s chuckle. “I’m sorry,” said Nina, covering her mouth. “You’re just so cute, protecting my honor.” She caressed Brooke’s cheek. She called Brooke cute. No big deal. “Let’s go slow then. But just to be clear, it’s not on my account.”

Nina wanted her. Brooke’s vagina was screaming at her right now, begging her to listen to reason. “So, if we, hm… You wouldn’t think I was using you?”

Nina looked a little taken aback. “This is fucking surreal,” she mumbled. “No, of course not.”

“Alright then.” Brooke was back on Nina’s neck in an instant, drawing a half-laughter, half-moan from her. Brooke could feel her clit practically setting off fireworks. She let her hands wander to cup Nina’s breasts over her clothes and God, she was so gay.

“Bed,” breathed Nina, and they scrambled to get up.

Nina pressed Brooke against a wall for a few minutes before they could reach her bedroom, kissing her silly while groping her ass, and Brooke couldn’t do anything but hold on.

–

Brooke loved curves, and Nina’s were the best she ever saw, let alone touch. Her breasts were a heavenly gift, and Brooke was sure she would never get tired of putting her mouth on them, nuzzling them, making them home. But Nina was soon squirming too much, and she moved on, kissing down her soft stomach, letting her hands trails down the curve of her waist and hips, massaging her thighs as her tongue worked past her belly button.

She groped Nina’s inner thighs, and the girl opened her legs for her. Brooke looked up as she let her thumbs graze the juncture between Nina’s thighs and her crotch, watching her breath hitch and her hands grip the sheets. Brooke stroked Nina’s folds teasingly, letting her eyes roam over her body as she did so. She dipped her fingers between them, finding wetness and heat, and kept stroking as she watched Nina’s hooded eyes close and her heavy breathing become tiny moans as her body waved against Brooke’s hand.

Brooke surged up to kiss her, straddling her thigh as her hand kept going, now drawing wide circles around her clit. Nina pulled her close, trying to kiss back and grope Brooke but getting sided-tracked by her own pleasure, letting out huffs of breath and stopping her hands mid-movement as she just felt.

Brooke was rutting against her leg, holding back her own moans as her fingers worked with increased precision on Nina’s clit. It was getting harder and harder for Nina to keep from making any noise, and Brooke never felt prouder of herself. She moved to suck on Nina’s neck, her own rutting growing more intense.

“Don’t stop,” whispered Nina with a sinful, delicious moan, tugging on Brooke’s hair. It was so hot Brooke thought she would end up coming first, but Nina kept moaning and with a few more strokes she came, arching out of the bed and opening her mouth in a perfect “o,” a guttural sound escaping her throat.

Brooke touched her through it, keeping it firm and slow, watching her face as she rode her orgasm. Once Nina opened her eyes again, Brooke retrieved her hand and kissed her, feeling Nina’s hand snake down her body to slot in between her legs, stroking Brooke hard and fast while they kissed. It didn’t take long at all for Brooke to come too, biting Nina’s lip and convulsing over her body, one hand holding Nina’s juicy tit in a deadly grip.

Brooke collapsed down on the bed, a smile planted on her lips that she was sure was never going away. Nina snuggled against her, resting her head on her chest and throwing an arm over her waist. Brooke started combing through her hair, sleep creeping up on her. Nina’s smell was intoxicating, and she closed her eyes, dozing off while thinking that she definitely could get used to this.

–

“HI, DIVA.”

Brooke was already working on the sewing machine when Nina arrived for the workshop. She stopped pressing down the pedal to watch her and Meatball doing their tongue thing, that Brooke still didn’t get, but chuckled at every time. Then, Nina went to Sasha, kissing their cheek and exchanging a few words with them before finally walking towards Brooke.

“Hey, baby,” said Nina, giving Brooke a peck.

“Hi,” said Brooke, smiling. That’s right, she’s my girlfriend, she felt like stating, even though it was just their friends in the room with them. It had been a month, and Brooke still wasn’t over it.

Meatball made a puking sound in the background, and Nina giggled.

“Jealous much?” said Brooke, turning back to her sewing.

“Suck my dick,” said Meatball, not even bothering to look away from her computer.

“Don’t mind if I do,” said Detox, coming in the room at exactly the right time, surprising Brooke into laughter and making Meatball flush red.

[primofate]

Smile for Me (Part 5) Zhongli x fem!reader

Summary: Zhongli never smiled at you the way that he smiled at his memories of Guizhong. Thinking that the only way Zhongli would ever be happy is for Guizhong to come back again, you secretly set off on a journey to bring her back to life. But it comes with a price: Your life.

Warnings: pining, angst, one-sided (at first), hurt, angst again, drama, some Guizhong x Zhongli, hints of Xiao x reader, MAY NOT FOLLOW THE ACTUAL LORE, not proofread.

Notes: This took longer than expected too. It’s just that I didn’t want to take too long explaining what happened and everything, I didn’t think that was the main focus, but my OCD self still wanted to include an explanation so...

Read: (Part 1)   (Part 2)   (Part 3)   (Part 4)   (Part 6)

“I told you not to do anything reckless,” was the first thing you heard when you opened your eyes. You hadn’t even processed anything yet. Not where you were. Not who was talking. Not even who you were. It came back to you very slowly as the ceiling started to become clearer. You rolled your head sideways to see Xiao, arms crossed and glaring at you.  You blinked. As if missing pieces of your brain slowly coming back and you shot up from the bed, gasping. In alarm, Xiao stands as well and places his hands on your shoulders out of instinct. “What’re you doing?!” he hisses and you only look up at him, horrified. “Rex Lapis found out?” you whispered, eyes not hiding the fact that you were crestfallen. 

If you were back, it only meant one thing. Someone took you back and you knew who it was. Xiao’s lips turn into a tight line, but he urges you to lay back down on the bed. Wangshu Inn. You recognize the decorations.

“Rex Lapis found out,” he confirms, but his fists ball up tight. Xiao himself had forgotten about you too, and the guilt he felt at that seemed to have increased his burdens. “...and he was enraged, Y/N, more so than normal,” Xiao explained and your shoulders slump, head down towards the hands on your lap. 

“...and so was I... I warned you not to go to Wuwang Hill!” You winced at Xiao’s tone, but he had said nothing after that. You fell into silence as well. The only sound between you two were the birds chirping outside. “...I thought...” before you knew it the droplets were landing on your hands. Xiao stiffened up at the realization you were crying. “I thought it’d be better if she came back and I left,” your voice is barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to take care of him, Xiao. I don’t know how to serve Rex Lapis for him to be at ease, the way he was with Guizhong. I don’t know how to make him smile the way Guizhong makes him smile. I--” and your sobs are soft, because you hold them back, because the last thing you wanted to do was to come back and face Rex Lapis and his questioning gaze. 

Xiao suddenly stands. Your eyes dart over to him in question. He’s looking at you with guarded remorse, and yet, his face is stiff. You blink up at him, and watch as he walks backwards off to the side and bows towards the door that you hadn’t noticed had opened.

Your eyes widen, amidst your tears you can see the unmistakable blur of Zhongli standing there. Expression unreadable. 

In the next moment, Xiao has left the room. 

You cannot process what just happened. He continues to stand there, as if a statue, the only indication that he was living was the soft rise and fall of his chest. A shiver runs down your spine and you wipe the remaining tears you had left, reduced to just sniffling under his gaze.

“You must be wondering what transpired,” Zhongli starts, but doesn’t make a move to come closer. Not really, you think. You didn’t really care about what happened. There was only a deep set embarrassment in your stomach.

“It turned out to be an evil spirit residing in the tree for millennia. Trapping lost souls...Chongyun and Xiao had to help me restrict her.” He seemed to take in a ragged breath. “It’s nothing short of a miracle that we got you safely out of her realm,” here his voice changes. The tone hiding a type of anger that was slowly boiling over, like a volcano about to erupt.

“I could not imagine what would force you to go through such lengths, Y/N,” you could see the bits of lava spurting out now. “and to discover that I was the reason. Xiao is correct. I was enraged in the process,” the volcano was rumbling, and you didn’t know how to escape it’s wrath, you only fiddled with your fingers. As if a child being scolded.

Surprisingly he ended his speech there, and the volcano had simmered down. Rex Lapis was not one to lose his cool, specially after hearing what you said, and finding out the reason for it. You could hear the unmistakable sound of his shoes walking over, but you refused to look his way and look him in the eye. You didn’t have to though, because his fingers touch your chin and gently moves it towards him.

“...But I was more unsettled because of my own shortcomings. My lack of ability to see through you and stop you,” he drops his hand when he was sure you were going to hold his gaze. “You have misunderstood, Y/N. Guizhong is a past memory, I’ve long since accepted it. But of course, no matter how much time has passed, I still cherish those memories,” He takes the chair that Xiao was previously on and even sitting, he’s still a tad taller than you who is on the bed. “And so how do you imagine I felt when I discovered you’d chosen to erase all memories of you? Those memories that I cherish?” 

Your head moves to try and look away from him but he catches it yet again with his hand and levels a gaze on you. He doesn’t want you to look away. “There was nothing to grasp at,” he starts and you notice his voice descends into a whisper. “Nothing to remember you by, it was by sheer luck that I found out,” you see that something shifts in his gaze, an emotion you’ve never seen in his eyes before. “Despite remembering your face I could not recall your name.” He doesn’t say it but you can see the frustration in his golden orbs and your lips part in wonder. “I had only realized it then but forgetting you completely is...” he pauses, searching for the right words to say. “...is like losing myself,” 

He takes his hand away from your face and fresh tears start to pool around your eyes. “...I’m sorry,” you croak out but he shakes his head. “The apologies...should be coming from me,” his hand then slips into a back pocket, and retrieves a small rectangular box. A golden one, something that you seemed to recognize but not completely.

“I had one made for you,” and hands it over. Your hands grasp around it delicately, and the front flap opens up to reveal a fa-zan hairpin, the crystal design at the end of it were...blue Forget-Me-Nots. The type of blue that usually matched your qipao. Your eyes widen a fraction, and your lips upturn at the irony and thoughtfulness of it all the same. At the corner of your eye he seemed to relax at the expression on your face, but he covers one of your hands with his and you look at him curiously.

“Please do not think that I have done this out of pity,” Zhongli, in some ways, knew you quite well. “It’s something...that I should have done a while ago, but my own inadequacies and hesitance had prevented me,” he takes your hand, and as his eyes close, his lips presses on your knuckles briefly. 

“But there is no rush, Y/N, I will gain your trust back, as it deserves to be gained,” 

His lips part from your hand, and his eyes gaze upon yours. 

“I will protect you, as you deserve to be protected,” 

and then there’s an unmistakable fire of determination in his eyes.   

“and if you allow it... I will court you as you deserve to be courted.”

Taglist: @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @kimbapsana @leefletter @hentaje @tempehlust @rinnesy @hallohun @softlybeloved @volleybloop @ssalamanderr @ben6ett @rytszk @guilixi @reiluvbot @mondstadts-favourite-traveler @xxcrowfeatherxx @b-trld @mkazuyuh @shittyeditsofwhatiwant @ayra2452008 @simpingover @soft-like-sunshine @lnrchii @scheophi @multifandomgeeks @sacredmouche @risasblog01 @mai-m4i @foxxtrot-116 @maple-leaaf @lucy-roo @bluepinkpink @myday6-studies @thraiaiscrying @missbuwan @the-one-that-lurks @adeptitao @xibrokensunriseix @ilovemyleftboob @marblesphere @allinduetimethefirst @nortdreww @jjsjjsjsjsjjsjjs @how-simpy @loltartaglia @minyoustar @sesetiger @Ghost1y-demon @lqvl3y @cysperia @candyqueen10 @ichigo-no-tsumi @omoriq @saving-for-xiao @trashykawasmilkbread @jjkclub @pearstear @seiiblue @midnightangelfox @korinkuu @fkng_kumiko @keiq0 @diaflower @shystudentcollector

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[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Do you guys know of any fics exploring all that Aziraphale might've gotten up to during Crowley's long snooze? thanks!

Hello. Here are some fics about Aziraphale while Crowley naps...

do you hear me when you sleep? by underthelinden (G)

In 1869, Aziraphale finds himself lost - until the road leads him to a half-abandoned house and the demon his heart desires.

Sleepers & Serpents by Raphaela_Crowley (T)

During Crowley's long absence in the 19th century, Aziraphale decides to get a pet, which he grows deeply attached to.

It ends in tragedy. A tragedy that changes the angel's outlook on animal creation forever after.

Meanwhile, Crowley sleeps, only getting up once to use the lavatory.

Patience by PeniG (G)

Crowley's asleep, Hell doesn't know that, and Aziraphale gets to hold things together. What fun. (Dagon thinks so.)

The Portrait & Secrets Therein by SageGreen (M)

Crowley slept through the 1800s with barely a thought as to what he might be missing. Turns out it was rather a lot, as he finds out when he accidentally takes drunken teasing with Aziraphale too far & ends up asking just the right question at not quite the right time.

do you miss me like I miss you? by multifandomgeek (T)

When Aziraphale starts giving Crowley the cold shoulder, the demon decides to take a long nap, thinking the angel wouldn’t even care.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Briarpatch by triedunture (E)

Crowley falls into a long sleep. Aziraphale tries to watch over him.

Mind the tags on the last one!!

- Mod D

[jancox]

Favorite Jankie fics?

a GREAT question!!! 

so i’ve probably accidentally missed a couple but here are some that i can think of ! y’all know jankie is my hyper fixation ship at the moment sooooo

the kind of love you don’t believe in by @pink-grapefruit-cafe - divorce lawyer jan and wedding planner jackie. the most perfect one shot you will ever read

and i wake up falling by @lilacsoft - no explanation is needed with this one. just read it. it’s everything dykey that you'll ever need. also lilacsoft is also writing you’d better look alive and that too is wonderful 

stars and the moon by @mywildsweetlove - this one is only just getting started but i already reread what there is of it more often than i care to admit. it’s beautiful, genius, and i am in love with their version of jackie

jersey goddess by @simply-em - another that’s just getting started but oh boy am i excited !!! i have already fangirled to em about it but consider this me doing it again

we’re on each other’s team by therestisdetail - another one that you just have to go and read but it has jan/nicky too and it’s !!!!

see me by multifandomgeek - this one is 3 ch’s away from being complete and it’s so beautifully written that it has to be a favourite. think disney mixed with lesbian and this is what this fic feels like 

baby let’s keep it secret by @artificialortega - this is also just a oneshot but if you don’t know how much i love ortega’s writing by now then you never will. it’s a snippet from strictly au and it’s both cute and hot so ; go read !! 

also, if you haven't seen me post about it enough, then myself and @velourpink are writing it isn't so bad (to be stuck with you) ! 

there are so many more that i love but i’m going to stop here or this will get out of hand lmao