#my best friend refuses to read this series he got a couple chapters in and dropped it saying it sucks

[vivwritesfics]

(Oh My God) They Were Roommates

Chapter Ten - Oh Dang She Crashed

Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were teammates. Tension had been between from the minute they started driving together and, when it only got worse, McLaren CEO Zac Brown decides there's only one solution: Have them live together.

1.2K

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT FYI

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While Lando and Y/N laid together, with Y/N falling asleep on his shoulder, Max Verstappen and Daniel Ricciardo were out for drinks. It was just something casual, something to do together because they didn't see each other all that often now that they weren't teammates.

But they were still the best of friends, and they still hung around together. Daniel took Max out for a couple of drinks, no more than a couple of drinks (since they had to race the next day).

Now Max was good at keeping secrets, but he had to get it off his chest, had to tell someone. If that person decided to tell the rest of the grid? Well, that wasn't on him, was it?

Max pulled his chair closer to the table as the waitress placed the gin and tonic in front of him. Daniel received his own drink and Max couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Guess what I walked in on," he said, his leg bouncing. He was far too excited for this.

Daniel looked at him as he sipped his drink, eyebrows raised as he waited for him to continue. "After last weeks race, after Y/N won, I asked her if she wanted to come out for drinks, but she said she was busy. So I asked Lando and he was down. I went to get him from his drivers room and what did I walk in on?"

He paused, waiting for Daniels brain to catch up. Daniel's eyes went wide. "No," he gasped and sipped his drink again. "No way! Lando and Y/N? Seriously?"

"Seriously!" Max insisted, using his straw to stir his drink.

"Is... is that allowed? Are we allowed to fuck our teammates?" Daniel asked, leaning back in his chair.

Max shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know if it's ever actually happened before, since, you know."

"Surely there are some rules around this."

Again, Max shrugged his shoulders. If they were he hadn't read it anywhere. "Don't tell them I told you," he said and Daniel nodded his head.

***

Y/N woke up, her own head moving with the gentle rise and fall of Lando's chest. She pushed away from him and stretched her arms up. She didn't feel as sick as she had the day before, but she still felt pretty rough.

Checking the time on her phone, Y/N shook Lando's shoulder. "Lan, get up," she whispered, continuing to shake him.

Lando's eyes fluttered open. He didn't get up from the bed, just turned his head towards Y/N, watching as she stripped to get into the shower.

He pushed himself up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom. He knocked on the door and pushed it open. "I'm gonna head to my room," he said, talking just loud enough to speak over the noise of the shower. "Are you okay to get to the circuit on your own?"

Y/N shouted a response back, something Lando had to get her to repeat, before he left her hotel room to head back to his own. He got himself ready to head to the circuit, changing into a new McLaren shirt, a new LN4 hat and a clean pair of jeans. Still, though, he worried about Y/N.

If she was that sick, which he knew her to be, he didn't want her racing. He wasn't going to stop her, it wasn't like he had much of a choice. If she wanted to race, she was going to do just that.

When he was ready, Lando made his way to the circuit. He signed posters and caps and made his way to the hospitality unit. Y/N met him there just minutes later, still looking as sick as ever. Where she had woken up feeling slightly better, she was once again feeling terrible.

She drank water through the day, and was never very far away from Lando, unless somebody needed her. It wasn't that she followed Lando around like a lost puppy, but more like he refused to leave her side. She looked ready to drop to the floor at any moment and Lando wanted to be there to catch her.

Eventually, though, she was called away by her trainer. He took one look at her and sent her to lay down in a dark room until the start of the race.

Half an hour before the race started, she was woken up. Y/N went to her drivers room and got changed into her fireproofs and race suit. Fuck, she wasn't ready for this, but she had to do it. Had to do it for the team.

She lined up on the grid, her teammate just in front of her. Y/N almost bottled it on the formation lap, but she held it together and brought the car into its square on the grid. The commentators were definitely talking about her mess of a formation lap, but she couldn't think about that now; she had a job to do.

The lights went out and Y/N got a good getaway. But it didn't stay good. Suddenly her vision was going blurry and she was almost throwing up in her helmet. But she tried to hold it together.

Lando passed her, and then several other cars did. She didn't care, too busy trying to breathe.

Y/N got eleven laps into the grand prix before her black spots appeared in her vision and she lost control of her car, spinning towards the barriers. Y/N didn't shout, she didn't scream as her car hit the barriers and span away. The left side of her car was wrecked from the impact, but it had stopped moving.

She wasn't responding.

"Red flags at turn eight," Will Joseph said to Lando.

"Is everything okay?" Lando asked as he slowed his car right down, following the other cars into the pitlane. The only car he couldn't see was the other McLaren.

Medics rushed over to her. They pulled Y/N out of the car and checked her pulse on her wrist. They kept her helmet on as they got her onto the stretcher and into the ambulance.

"Where's Y/N?" Lando asked as he climbed out of the car. He didn't know what was happening with the race, didn't know that she was the reason for the red flags.

"She's on her way to the hospital," said Andrea.

Of course, nobody at McLaren quite knew the relationship Lando had with Y/N. They didn't know that his heart was pounding too loudly for him to hear anything else. Shit, he couldn't go back into the race, not until he knew she was okay.

But the car was cleared from the track and the race was restarting. Lando had to get on with his job, he knew. He could check on her later. Plus, he knew Y/N would have been pissed if she knew he stopped racing for her. "Keep me updated on her, please," he said before he climbed back into the car.

He was going to race, and he was going to do it for her.

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[darlingofvalyria]

❝I have these two great friends called Birth and Control.❞

part 06 | it's called a love bug, lovebug

chapter summary:

[ Sunday dinners are actually made for confessions. As Alicent braves it with a wine and a blush, you brave it too. With a boy and a view. ]

[ 2,963 ] [ series masterlist ] |best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— angst - hurt/minimal comfort(?) - no kings, no martyrs, no betas.

a/n— alexa play it's all coming back to me now by celine dion. it might read a little stilted, i struggled a bit with this chapter as i wrote it in different times. ps. i didn't translate aemond's valyrian with intention. hope it still works? comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

You had never heard of a more reverbrating sound than Helaena's smack to a poor, traumatised Daeron. "You toe licking, armpit looking, ugly garbage can!" Healeana shrieked, promptly dragging her youngest brother further away as you and Aemond scurried deeper into the safety of the darkness and shame, folded defensively onto one another, laughing your asses off.

"Oh my god," you exhale. "I am never going leaving this maze. I am going to live here, eating brambles and shit, and die here. Leave me now and prevail, Aemond. I will be fine. I'll haunt you in two to three business days."

Aemond chuckles from below you, unseen from your gaze, the mesmerised adoration he held as he can still feel his lips tingling from your desperation, still feel the curves of your body, the soft skin— he clears his throat, holding you steady by your hips before moving around until he's hovering over you as you adjusted your dress, eyes fluttering his with pressed lips trying not to laugh.

"I have a feeling dinner is ready."

"I also have a feeling your mother and grandfather knew exactly what we were doing minutes before and I fear I'd rather die here than face that."

He laughs, offering his hand and you take it regardless. "Then my mother would be glad. She didn't exactly feel the new bliss of couples between us."

You scoff. "Only because you treated me like you were cosplaying a Frost Giant." At his raised eyebrow and choked, surprised laugh, you blush. "Oh, get off with it. Your sister really likes the idea of Jotun!Loki and I am not one to kinkshame."

He strangles a laugh, peeling stray twigs from your hair. "I wouldn't dare assume. Let's go eat."

You tighten your hold on his hand, worry crescent on your forehead that Aemond straightens. "And talk?" As good as that felt, as perfect as puzzles sliding in together, you were past the age where burrowing it deep with the good parts and ignoring the pressing talks that need to be addressed.

And Aemond deserved better than that at least.

"Okay." He nods, swallowing. "Later, please."

"Okay." You try and reassure him with a smile and that seems to appease him, if a little.

Once Aegon had made five jokes concerning Daeron's loud rant— he was promptly shut up by his sister smacking him in the back of the head as soon as their mother was fretting in the kitchen and their grandfather's phone pinging for his attention, spoon on his mouth that might have been a medical nightmare — dinner went smoothly.

Daeron had successfully refused to look at your general direction, or his brother, or both since you sat together, churlish in giggles, in chatter and light arguments. Aemond kept taking the nicely marinated baby potatoes on his plate to yours once you finished up your own, and exchanged it with shuffling green beans to his plate because he loves them— it's nice.

It's more than nice. It's everything you could hope for when you think about dinner with your boyfriend's family. It's a softened thought that brews to yearning. You want this. You want be sat next to Aemond like this again, making jokes, piling food onto each other's plate, ribbing with his brother until he blushed then standing up against him when it got too far— seeing the smile he sends your way, endearing, loving, and for a moment, for this one realised moment built on lies and chuckle-fuckery ease, you let yourself indulge.

You joke about spoon feeding him dessert and blush as he envelops his soft lips over the spoon, Daeron and Aegon mimicking gags while Alicent is blushing, unable to stop a girlish giggle, a sound so surprised to her own person that she hiccups.

You are with him and you give yourself strength to break his heart.

Dinner finishes off with a lazy flick, Alicent and his father descending into business talks that usually included Aemond and though you tell him you can go hang out with Helaena— Daeron and Aegon deciding on playing The Last of Us in the game room because Aegon said he needed a good cry but also to shoot things — Aemond who had taken your hand sometime ago and has been brushing his thumb over your knuckles in a soothing gesture, implores you with a look.

You swallow and give a nod, trying for another smile that fails, noticing the moment Aemond sees it fail, his brow curling, lips pursing but doesn't say anything.

As he moves to lead, he pauses, turning back to you. "Where—?"

"Your room?"

Just as he nods, Alicent's soft and embarrassed, "Keep the door open, please," pulls you both to a blushing stop.

Otto— and Helaena rifling through ice cream in the kitchen — crow simultaneous, "Alicent," and "Mom!" as Alicent raises both her hands, the wine in her right sloshing. Though she is pink-cheeked, she maintains eye contact with her son while Aemond is struggling.

"I know you're old and smart enough, young man, and you are such a lovely girl," Alicent says to you, "and I would no doubt adore the grandchildren you will provide me—"

"Oh my gods," you stifle your giggles as Aemond makes a discordant sound in the back of his throat, like a cat hacking a saw. Otto is laughing into his wine while Helaena is making gagging noises in the background.

"— but I hope to have them when Aemond's at least graduated, so that he can provide well for you." Alicent nods, blinking. You can tell that the wine is catching up to her. "He's a good boy so I'm sure he'll do right by you. But I at least want you both to be married, of course, I would prefer if Aegon or Helaena got married first but—"

"— and that's my cue to stage left, folks," Helaena says, making a face as she grabs the entire tub of cookies and cream. "If anyone needs me, I'm in my room trying to find a husband so my baby brother can get married, gods forbid he carries on with bastards from his beautiful girlfriend— whomst, by the way, is my best friend, dunno how we're forgetting my credit in all of this."

Aemond shakes his head. "They're not sleeping here, mom, and providing you grandchildren is not in my agenda." He tugs your hand, smirking as he pulls you close only to whisper playfully, "Not tonight at least."

You shiver, laughing under your breath. "I dunno if you know this, but I have these two great friends called Birth and Control."

He breaks into a laugh and that, at least, eases the tension until you round up in his room, trying to give Helaena a meaningful look but you don't think she understands it with how she salutes you with her spoon, winking audaciously.

"Here." Aemond flicks the light on and his childhood bedroom brings a smile to your face. It's cerebral, the faint blue of his textured wallpaper, the perfectly lined books, even the framed achievements. But there's also the Oasis poster, the little figurines that you know is part of some Old Valyrian battle replica he collected when he was younger, even his old fencing gear and an exact photo of it alongside his club master, his grandfather, and family friend, Criston Cole.

"It's been a while since I've been here," you tease lightly. "It's kind of funny of your mom to think I'd be the first hot girl to christen your childhood bed."

He hums, turning away as he closes the door. When he turns back, he's rolled back his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks at you with sincerity.

"It wouldn't be much of a competition to beat. You were the first hot girl I'd ever got inside my room."

"Ahh. Right. Teasing you before your growth spurt was the highlight of my week."

Aemond let out an aggressive sigh as you laugh. "I was a senior in high school when I met you, riña, this is getting ridiculous. Borderline paedophilic since I had you moaning an hour ago."

You heave, slapping his arm. "Okay, stop, you made it weird now. Gross. Eugh."

"Promise you'll stop now?"

"Fine, I promise."

An awkwardness settles before Aemond nods at the double French doors. "Wanna talk on the patio? You've always liked my room's view than Lae's."

"Yeah," you grin.  "'Cos you got the only view of the lake."

"You can barely see it with the trees. And this darkness." Reason out all he wants, but he opens the door for you, and the cool air is crisp and nice against your warm skin.

You hold out on the ledge, squinting your eyes so you can see peeks of luminous bounce of the calm lake between dark sways of forest. Once in a while, it glitters and glimmers, making itself known.

"It isn't fully true though."

"What is?" Aemond fixes his elbows, warmth pressed against yours as he stares at a fixed point of nowhere. But you can feel his tension, feel his questions he's trying to be patient to keep in. You're glad for it. Grateful. Because it gives you enough courage to confess.

"I hung out in your room because I liked hanging out with you," you admit. "Teasing you was the highlight of my day."

"Gee. Thanks."

"I was more surprised you kept letting me hang out with you when I did nothing but annoy you."

"Why do you think that is, ñuha riña?" he asks softly.

"Because you're sweet?"

The way he's looking at you... it makes you breatheless. Especially when he moves to turn fully toward you, taking you by your elbows, and you close your eyes when he leans in expecting his mouth on you, your heart dancing in the palm of his hand because it feels so, so easy to trust Aemond with it, instead he presses his lips underneath your eye, nuzzling against your nose. It shatters and remakes your heart, making you hold onto his shirt for some semblance of comfort.

"Because I've always liked you," he whispers against your skin as if it's his best kept secret. "Because I'm weak when it comes to you. Because you," he breathes against your mouth, taking your bottom lip between his teeth and giving it a tug, "make it easy to want you."

A weak laugh escapes your lips and his mouth follows the sound as if he wants to swallow it, but you press a palm to his chest. He growls.

"Easy there, tiger, that didn't sound much like a compliment."

He pulls back, holding your face. "Sorry, shit, I didn't mean— I'm not good at this. I meant... you're unattainable. Not just as Helaena's best friend but... you're cool, you're fucking gorgeous and incredibly hilarious."

"Ñuha jorrāelagon." He breathes care into the word. The word is lost on me and I force my brain to pocket it like a love letter so I can search it up. "I never thought I could be here, touching you like this." Without warning, he moulds his lips to yours in a harsh, deep kiss. It's quick but it leaves you breathless, his voice coming up ragged. "Kiss you like this. It feels like I'm in a dream and I'm struggling to let go of it. So a while ago... after..."

You nod, pressing your forehead against his, unable to look at him in the eye. You focus on touching him, your hands sliding down, making him shiver when you go underneath his shirt, skating his side until you warm your cool fingers with his spine.

"That's the thing, Aemy," you whisper. "In your head, by your words, I'm always a version to you."

��He calls your name, leaning back and you're forced to see the confusion on his face.

"Helaena's best friend. Past that, an unattainable crush. Now a fake girlfriend. Someone you use to get Alys' attention, and who better than the unattainable crush? It's a pedestal, Aemy."

"It's not like that, that was a bad, convoluted—"

"But it's the truth, it's how I feel. And though that sucks, I understand." You take his hands as you step back and he's frowning harder, the lines deepen and his jaw is tight. "I knew what I was getting into, you know? But things change because I've changed."

 "It's Cregan, isn't it?" he snarls, tugging his hands away.

"Oh, you jealous idiot, it's you! We've gone over this, you incredible dumbass!"

"Me? How the hell is this about—"

"— because I love you!" you shout. Then stop, inhale. Blink. Aemond copies it. It's almost hilarious. "Or I know I can be."

He works his jaw, turning away. "I don't understand."

"Okay, here it is." You inhale. "Just listen and breathe for a second, okay? Okay? Don't turn away from me." You pull him back by his chin, smiling faintly at the pout you form. "Say you understand."

He sighs, taking your hand. "Yes, I understand."

"I can't compete with someone you've loved for so long," you start softly, staring at your conjoined hands wondering if this is the last time you'll get to hold him like this. "Without you showing you can love me for more than that. I can't compete with your own ideal happy ending if I'm not part of it. I won't. I refuse." Your smile is wry, it's heartbreak and it's strings. You wish you had the energy to scream, to act like a brat and demand his heart, his promises in gold-ink and pink-veined hue. It's what your heart wants.

But you're of big age. You've seen love in its spaces, how it takes root in people, how it affects the world around you.

And you know you cannot love him if he does not make the effort to love you in the same way.

Your heart is in your throat but the words come out anyway. "Because I love you, Aemy. And I know I can fight for you. I can fight for what we have. I can wake up tomorrow and choose to love you with the same degree, if not fiercer, if I could. And I could do that again and again. That's how love works. You have to wake up tomorrow, see me, and choose to love me all over again."

You smile gently, sadly. "I can't allow myself to be loved in halves. I've done that before, I'm not doing it again. Not even for you."

You bring yourself on your tip toes— damn tall, beautiful rat bastard — and brush your lips on the corner of his. His eye closed. "I'm not going to pressure you for an answer. Alys was... Alys is a big part of what you know is love, and I respect that. I understand that it'll be hard, but I need to know if you're willing to let go of it for me. Because I can promise you I can love you. But I won't. Not without assurance that you can try for me."

"What are you asking me?" he asks softly, straightening. There's a hard line going into his body, like a dutiful student given an assignment.

"I'm asking you to think if you can see past the little statue you've made of me. See me breathing. Alive, just like this." You press a hand to his face and retrieve it back before he can hold it. He shots you a look of betrayal. "I'm going home with Hel. You know how to message me, okay? Bye, dōna zaldrīzes."sweet dragon.

His eye flick upward, shock and heartbreak and confusion moulds and twists into such a beautiful blue, mouth agape trying to find words he can't find— and you smile wryly, turning away and leaving.

You get to Helaena's door quick, knocking soon after.

"Hmph!"

 "You're either getting choked by a robber or masturbating, and really Hel, I need you to make two grunts to tell me the former so I can bust down the door because I don't want to see you bust a—"

The door swings wide, Helaena's face in a comical irritation.

"That is so fucked up, I hope you know— hey, hey." Her irritation sweeps into a frown as you fail to contain your watery eyes. "What happened? What's wrong? What did Aemond do? Oh, that little twerp—"

"— it's not him, it's not him, chill, I just wanna go home, yeah? Get our cakes and go, please?"

Hel's frown deepens, eyes darting back to Aemond's door.

"Please, Helaena," you beg. "I'll tell you when we get home. I'll make us special drinks."

She takes your hand, determination wound tight with concern. "Sure thing, babe. Let's go."

When you make your hasty departure to her grandfather of all of them, Alicent already in bed and the other boys still in the gaming room, cakes in hand, you tow over Helaena's baby blue buggy— she leans over at you with a hand on the ignition, whispering as if she was afraid, "You— are you meeting Cregan tonight? After, I mean." Her eyes widen. "I'm not judging, I'd never—"

"No, no, I understand. You'd never judge me for that, I know. But no. Just you and me tonight."

She smiles softly. It's not like Aemond's but they don't look that apart that it still stings. "Love you."

"Love you too, lovebug."

Loving Helaena isn't hard.

Just as you know loving Aemond wouldn't be, despite it all. But it isn't you that has issues that needs handling, and you've put everything in his court now.

And yet you can't deny your hope.

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[dreamwritesimagines]

Enamored [32] - Amazement

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback my loves, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please let me know what you think, thank you! ❤ And as always, thank you @theskytraveler for helping me with the chapter and the story❤

Summary: Patience comes with a prize.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules.

Word Count: 5100

Series Masterlist

In all honesty, being called “picky” was not ideal when it was about an unmarried lady in London society, and if it were a couple of months ago you were certain you would lock yourself in your room and cry upon being accused of such but now?

Now you could hardly care about that.

Perhaps it was because you were already in love. You already knew who you wanted to marry and you knew no one but him could ever make you happy in matrimony. In fact, you knew now for certain that it was either going to be him or no one so the opinion of anyone else barely mattered.

But of course, the rest of the ton didn’t share the sentiment.

“You know, considering what a busy week this has been,” you murmured without peeling your eyes off the gossip column, “You’d think what happened at the ball wouldn’t be talked about this much.”

“I mean you did turn down three marriage proposals in person,” Cecily grinned. “Scandal.”

“Shh!” you motioned at her to lower her voice. “They only know about two of them though.”

Cecily waved a hand in the air. “You know how they are. Two is still too many for the ton.”

You heaved a sigh and lowered the paper.

“Unbelievable.”

“I have about an hour of free time, and I refuse to spend it indoors, come on,” Cecily pulled you by the arm and you got on your feet. “We’re going to the back yard.”

“Don’t tell me you have finished the invitations for the ball already,” you said, walking out of the main drawing room with her and she nodded.

“I have.”

“Cece, I thought I was going to help with that?”

“You’re already helping me with everything else, I only had a dozen left after yesterday,” she said and you hummed.

“I was going to ask you,” you said. “Why is the blue drawing room locked?”

She stole a look at you before averting her gaze. “Hm?”

“Why is the blue drawing room locked?” you repeated and she cleared her throat.

“For the um… personal reasons.”

“What personal reasons?”

She cleared her throat but before she could say anything else, you got distracted by the half open door of the Duke’s study.

“Cece, you go ahead, I’ll be right there,” you said and Cecily nodded, then walked away. You pushed the door gently to see the Duke there by his desk, reading some documents and you pulled your brows together.

“Your Grace?”

His head shot up and he pressed a hand on his chest.

“Y/N,” he said, rolling his shoulders back. “Didn’t hear you.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be here?” you said. “I was in the room when Aunt Lavinia said no work for at least another week.”

He thought for a moment.

“If Lav ever gets tired of being a countess, she’d do wonders as a prison guard.”

You bit down a smile, shifting your weight and he motioned at you to take a seat across from his desk. You did as he asked and cleared your throat, looking around the room.

Something had changed after that conversation he had with you and Elias. You still had so many questions, and you weren’t sure you would ever understand everything between him and your mother, or forgive him for that divorce. You knew he had been manipulated by his best friend over a long period of time and he had tried to pull back the divorce request, but…

It was obvious you would need to talk to him about it when the time came, when he was fully healed.

“Even the doctor said you should pace yourself,” you reminded him. “I believe the words he used were ‘taking a break’.”

“I have taken a long break,” he said. “I’ve done nothing but resting for over two weeks now.”

“I don’t think two weeks counts as a long break after a near death experience.”

He waved a hand in the air. “It was a small incident,” he said. “And I’m well enough to be dragged to Vauxhall Gardens tonight, so…”

“Everyone says it will be very entertaining,” you said. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“You’ll like it I think,” he said. “Now, before those vultures start circling us tonight, what happened in the past week I should know about?”

You thought for a moment.

“Well, it was a very busy week,” you said. “I’m sure you’ve heard, I’ve been called picky.”

He rolled his eyes. “Considering the idiots in the ton that are trying to court you, there’s nothing wrong with being picky,” he commented. “Perhaps it’ll discourage some of them.”

“I think it might, but I’m not sure. Lady Whistledown questioned whether I was picky or too…focused on a certain suitor,” you said. “But Lucie heard from a valet that a lord said if I kept going like this, I was going to come across as—” You pulled your brows together, trying to remember. “Um, intimidating. Apparently one of his friends was going to propose but he said I struck fear in his heart purely because I already turned down two suitors.”

The Duke let out a chuckle. “Great, keep doing that.”

“What else… Oh, Miriam got married,” you said. “She’s on her honeymoon now, by the countryside.”

“My condolences to both her and her husband.”

You bit inside your cheek to keep yourself from laughing. “And everyone is already talking about Cecily’s upcoming ball.”

“The masquerade?”

You nodded. “Well, not that any of them know it’s a masquerade yet, but they will get the invitations soon. Cecily just finished them.”

“Lavinia says the theme is Legends?”

You nodded again. “I already planned everyone’s costumes, including yours.”

He blinked a couple of times. “What?”

“Yeah!” you said. “You’ll be Zeus. I ordered your lightning bolt, which will also serve as a cane if you need it but it’ll be a part of your costume so no one will know.”

“I’m attending that ball?”

“It will happen here,” you said. “In the ballroom.”

He ran a hand over his face. “I know but I was hoping I could just not attend.”

“You can’t do that,” you insisted. “It’s Cece’s first ball as a marchioness, we have to be there as a family to support her.”

He raised his brows, as if he was surprised at the fact that you had referred to him as family, but he wasn’t the only one. You paused for a moment and shifted your weight, looking around the room.

“Alright,” he said after a beat. “Zeus you say?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t need a cane though.”

“It’ll be a decorative prop that happens to have a functional addition.”

“No to the cane.”

You leaned back in your seat.

“In all honesty, the cane could also be useful for me. I could swing it at any suitor who might have the audacity to propose to me in person,” you deadpanned. “To strike further fear, so to speak.”

“Do you promise?”

You tilted your head. “What?”

“Do you promise you’ll do that if anyone proposes to you in person?”

“I’ll consider it,” you said. “I don’t want to cause a scandal and make something that’s supposed to be about Cece and Elias all about me once again.”

He waved a hand in the air dismissively. “It was your suitors’ fault, not yours.”

“Either way.”

“Before we go to Vauxhall,” he said. “I wanted to ask you. We will be having supper there with the Bridgertons, that’s what we always do before attending the shows. Are you alright with that?”

You pressed your lips together. “Hm? Yes of course. Why would I not be?”

He shot you a look, making you shift your weight.

“Oh Anth—Lord Bridgerton and I are friends now.”

He pulled his brows together, an expression of complete distrust etched on his features.

“You’re friends now,” he repeated and you nodded fervently.

“Well yes, because I told him–” you were cut off when you heard Cecily’s giggles echoing through the walls along with Elias’s laughter and you huffed out.

“Great, Elias is back,” you sulked. “Goodbye to my time with Cece I suppose.”

“Leave them be Y/N, they’re newly married.”

“I wasn’t aware newly married people enjoyed staying in their bedroom that much,” you grumbled, making him avert his eyes, clearing his throat as if he wanted to be done with the conversation now. “But yes, I am completely alright with having supper with the Bridgerton family.”

“Great,” he said and you stood up from your seat as the footsteps climbing the stairs reached your ears before someone –probably Elias— shut the door upstairs. You shook your head slightly and turned to him.

“I won’t tell Aunt Lavinia,” you said with a slight smile and he grinned, making you realize for the first time that he and Elias shared the same joyful grin.

“Much obliged.”

“…If you promise to stop in half an hour and go rest.”

“Two hours.”

“An hour.”

“An hour and a half.”

“An hour.”

He heaved a sigh. “Fine, an hour,” he said, holding up his hands, gesturing surrender and you let out a small laugh, then walked to the door.

“I will check in an hour,” you called out and walked out of the study, then made your way to the backyard.

                                          *

Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens looked like a completely different world. They were sites for so many different types of outdoor entertainment, from firework shows to a man-made cascade, hot-air balloon ascents to illuminations, orchestra to different places to promenade, you could hardly contain your excitement.

There were so many things you wanted to see, but apparently you were to have supper first with Bridgertons, Cecily’s family and yours. Elias and Cecily seemed to be in their own world and Aunt Lavinia and The Duke were having a deep discussion while they walked, and you followed them with the rest of the family.

“I’m thinking of going as Artemis,” Edith, Cecily’s oldest sister told you. “She never married, so I gather she fits perfectly.”

“That’s a good idea,” you said before turning to her other sister. “How about you Abigail?”

“I will be Echo,” she said. “I already picked my gown, it’s made of gray silk, different shades of it.”

You pressed your hand on your chest, “Oh God, I wish to see it already!” you said. “And any Narcissus in mind?”

“Well, ever since Cece became a marchioness, the number of my suitors went up,” she said with a bright smile. “And I do have someone in mind but…”

“Who?”

“I shall say nothing until he sends me flowers,” she said, making you laugh and Hugh turned his head, distracted from his conversation with Kenneth and Iona.

“And you?” you asked Hugh. “Who will you be?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

“Mine is a surprise.”

“Oh come on…”

“Maybe a nymph?” Kenneth offered and you made a face.

“Dear God no,” you said. “No nymph, thank you.”

“Venus?” Iona asked and you shook your head.

“Cece is going as Venus—well, Aphrodite,” you said as you all reached the box. The Bridgertons were already there and your heart skipped a beat as your eyes met Anthony’s, then you hugged Eloise.

“Hello!” you said. “Have we kept you waiting?”

“No no, we just sat down,” she said. “We were a bit late, waiting for Daphne and Simon but apparently they can’t join us tonight.”

You frowned. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah it’s just…pregnancy makes her tired,” Eloise made a face. “It’s beyond me why she keeps doing that.”

You greeted the rest of the Bridgertons and took your seat. Eloise took a step to pull the seat next to yours but Anthony was faster as he grabbed the upper side of the chair, then nodded at Eloise.

“The seat over there is empty.”

“Good to know, my seat is right here.”

“Go sit next to Benedict.”

“You go sit next to Benedict.”

“Eloise,” Benedict called out and Eloise rolled her eyes.

“Unbelievable…” she grumbled and made her way to take the seat beside Benedict’s. You pursed your lips, trying to control your smile.

“Good evening,” you said as he sat down next to you and he smiled at you.

“Hello,” he greeted you warmly. “I’m glad you joined us.”

“I would never miss it,” you said and reached out to take the small card on the table that seemed to be the map of the gardens, then looked around. “Benedict, do you have a pencil?”

“Sure,” he said and took a pencil from the inner pocket of his waistcoat before handing it to you. Anthony tilted his head.

“What are you doing?” he asked as the food started being served, but you were too busy with the map to even pay attention.

“I’m picking the things I want to see the most tonight,” you said. “So that I don’t miss anything—what is this place?” you pointed at the map and Anthony leaned in to look at it better. His pleasant scent filled your nostrils, making your heart beat even faster but you swallowed thickly, trying your hardest to control yourself.

“That’s Lovers Walk.”

“Alright, so I want to see that,” you circled it, making him smile. “And this?”

“The Orchestra, but they play all night long, no rush for that.”

You hummed. “And this?”

“Oh that’s…no,” he said. “No, that’s Dark Walk.”

“Which means?”

“Which means you can’t go there.”

You pulled your brows together. “But you’ve been there?”

“….Uh, yeah. A couple of times.”

“So then why can’t I see it?”

He looked almost uncomfortable, then cleared his throat.

“It’s an unlit path,” he said. “All kinds of things happen there, it’d be too dangerous for you.”

Your frown deepened before you held your breath. “Oh like pickpockets and such?”

His smile was soft as he hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

“Exactly,” he said. “Pickpockets and such.”

“Oh, then that’s a no,” you muttered, crossing it out but then got distracted when you heard Cecily say your name.

“Hm?”

“I was just talking about Miriam calling you picky,” she said and you rolled your eyes, putting down the pencil.

“Did anyone go to her engagement ball?”

“No,”

“We didn’t,” Benedict motioned at himself and his brothers and Hugh nodded.

“We didn’t either.”

“Whistledown says she will throw a huge ball in her new house when she comes back from her honeymoon,” Eloise said and Cecily frowned.

“I heard it was going to be in their country house,” she said. “In any case, I think I ought to send her a wedding gift.”

“No you shouldn’t!” you and Eloise said at the same time and Cecily heaved a sigh.

“We have to.”

“I mean, do we though?” Elias asked, making her nod her head.

“People will talk otherwise.”

“What are we supposed to gift her anyway?”

Anthony stole a look at you and shrugged his shoulders. “A carpet?”

A laughter you couldn’t stop escaped from your lips and you covered your mouth, making him smirk.

“A carpet sounds like a good idea,” you said, trying to control your expression and Eloise made a face.

“She was going on and on about that country house,” she said. “I’m pretty sure people will go to that ball just to see it, not for her or her husband.”

“What did she say about the house?”

“Apparently it has a huge lake and her husband’s family likes to go on boats on that lake during summer,” Eloise said. “Maybe she will fall into the lake and die during the ball along with her insufferable husband.”

“Eloise!”

“What? It’s a lake Cece, a lot of couples die in lakes.”

You swirled the drink in your glass, sneaking a quick look at Anthony.

“Drowning for love,” you commented. “I cannot think of a more noble way to die.”

Anthony let out a chuckle and pursed his lips, trying to pull himself together.

“Alright, what’s happening?” Elias motioned at you and Anthony cleared his throat.

“Inside joke.”

“You two have inside jokes now?” he asked but before you or Anthony could answer, a lord approached the table.

“Marquess Westcliff, I was wondering if I could have a word?”

Elias shut his eyes for a moment before opening them again, and he let out an exasperated breath.

“No peace even when I’m eating…” he grumbled. “Hello Lord Colborne. Are you sure you want to have a word with me? My father is sitting right there, perhaps you’d like to talk to him?”

The man turned to look at the Duke who was glaring at him as if daring him to come closer before he shook his head.

“No Lord Westcliff, I think it’s better if I talked to you.”

“Wonderful,” Elias rolled his eyes and pushed his chair back. “Excuse me.”

“Another suitor?” Colin asked and you shrugged your shoulders, watching Elias walk away with Lord Colborne.

“Who is he?”

“Colborne?” Anthony said, “You wouldn’t get along well.”

“Aw he looked like a scared puppy,” Eloise grinned. “Maybe you should give him a chance, Y/N.”

“Eloise.” Anthony said and her grin got wider while you turned your attention to the map, turning the pencil between your fingers.

“Anthony, this?”

“Oh that’s the cascade,” he said. “But it’s about to be over for the night.”

Your head shot up. “What?”

“It’s a ten minute show and the last one started…” he checked his pocket watch. “Just now, so I don’t think—”

“Wait no, I don’t want to miss the cascade!” you exclaimed and looked around. “Who can—Cece! Are you eating? You’re not eating.”

“No, I don’t have an appetite.”

“Great!” you pushed your chair back. “I want to see the cascade!”

“Wait, now?”

“It’s the last one for the night!” you insisted. “Elias will come back God knows when, come on!”

Cecily pushed her chair back. “We can catch it if we run there I think.”

“Anyone wants to come with? Eloise?”

“I’ve seen that thing for a thousand times.”

“Edith? Abigail?”

“Not really, you two can go.”

“I’ll pass, I’ve seen it many times as well.”

“Iona?”

“Um no thank you, I’m here for the fireworks not the cascade.”

“Alright, we’ll be back when it’s over!” you said as you grabbed Cecily’s hand, and both of you started running to the cascade, giggling.

When you finally got there, you were both breathing fast, the excitement rushing through you. The sight of the artificial waterfall was so striking that you couldn’t help but stare at just how real it looked, and the rest of the crowd seemed to share your sentiment. There were many people watching the cascade, some whispering with each other and some just enjoying the scenery by themselves.

“It’s so beautiful,” you told Cecily after a couple of minutes and she nodded.

“I like it a lot,” she said. “It looks real.”

“It does!”

“Edith told me all about it after seeing it once,” she said. “The mechanical device that creates the illusion of actual water.”

You hugged her sideways. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Are you joking? I wouldn’t miss anything that’ll make you happy for the world.”

You giggled and pressed a kiss on her cheek, then turned to watch the cascade.

“Do you think Edith would tell me as well if I asked her?”

“Oh certainly. She likes talking about interesting machinery.”

You tilted your head as the cascade show came to an end and the dark curtain was lowered to hide the stage from the public eye, and you turned to Cecily.

“Do we go back right away?”

“We could but I’m not that hungry. Are you?”

“Not really—” you started but you were instantly distracted when you saw Anthony approaching you two. He looked so handsome as always, and under the dim lights surrounding you, he almost took your breath away.

“You missed the cascade,” you told him and he put his hand into his pockets, a small smile playing on his lips.

“I just came to see whether you two made it safely.”

“It was so beautiful!” you said. “I’m glad I didn’t miss it.”

“Is Elias around?” Cecily asked and he shook his head.

“Still talking to Colborne.”  

Cecily looked between you two, then bit down a smile.

“We don’t want to go back just yet but… Y/N, do you want to see the Spring Garden? We’re very close and I don’t think we’ll come this way after dinner. Firework shows and acrobats are that way.”

“Sure!”

“Anthony?”

“Of course,” Anthony said and Cecily linked her arm with yours, then you all started walking.

Cecily was right, apparently you were very close. The Spring Garden was divided into parts, each part like a room made of very tall bushes surrounding you, with flowers in the center. You approached to the flowers to see them better, and Cecily shot Anthony a look before turning to you.

“Do you mind if I went to look for the flowers outside?” she asked. “I will be just by the entrance.”

Ah.

She was going to leave you alone and be on the lookout for anyone who might see you.

You could feel your heartbeat getting faster, then shook your head.

“Of course not,” you said. “Go ahead.”

“Great,” she said and walked away from you, leaving you there in the small garden. You could barely hear the music and chatter of the crowd from the excitement pulsing through you but you managed to keep your attention on the flowers, reaching out to brush your fingertips over the smooth petals.

“So what will you be then?” Anthony’s voice reached you and you pulled your hand back, then turned to smile at him.

“Hm?”

“For the masquerade.”

You hummed and clasped your hands behind, wandering in the garden with your nose up in the air.

“What makes you think I’ve decided on a costume already?”

He tilted his head, giving you a teasing smirk.

“Maybe because I know you?” he played along. “You’ve probably decided on yours before anyone else’s.”

You shrugged your shoulders in a completely innocent manner.

“I planned Cece and Elias’s first,” you said. “But if you need any help with yours, I could help.”

“You could help by telling me yours.”

“Or maybe you could guess?” you taunted him and he hummed.

“A nymph?”

You scrunched up your nose. “I don’t want to give Mr. Sinclair any reason to write me yet another poem.”

His gaze on you was unwavering, sending a pleasant spark through your system.

“A siren.”

You bit down on your lip, then shook your head.

“No. I did consider it though.”

“Psyche then. Must be Psyche.”

You grinned and shook your head again, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet in excitement.

“No to that also?” he asked, making your grin wider. “Well, I was going to say Aphrodite, but Elias said—”

“Cece will be Aphrodite,” you cut him off in a proud manner. “It was my idea.”

“And your costume?”

“Someone more…” you trailed off. “Intimidating than Psyche.”

“Intimidating?”

“Yes,” you said. “Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Because I want to match it.”

Then made your head shot up, your teasing grin fading from your lips as you pulled your brows together, trying to make sense of it.

“Well you—you can’t though,” you managed to say. “The whole ton would think we’re courting if we matched.”

A small smile curled his lips and he nodded.

“Good,” he said. “About time people knew of my intentions, wouldn’t you say?”

You blinked a couple of times, disbelief making your brain almost fuzzy as you stood there completely frozen.

“Your intentions of?” you said, your heart beating in your ears and he swallowed thickly, taking a step towards you.

“Y/N, I—” he paused for a moment. “You were right earlier. I didn’t do any of the things I was supposed to do.”

“Anthony…”

“But I would like to do things right this time,” he said, “The way I should have done from the beginning. If you would allow me and if you…”

He swallowed thickly as if he was nervous, then reached into his waistcoat pocket to pull something out.

“And if you would accept my courtship,” he said as he reached out to take your hand, then put what he was holding into your palm and withdrew his hand, his fingertips almost burning you.

As soon as you realized what was in your palm, you held your breath.

You had heard of love tokens before. It was a coin of any kind that a suitor would offer the lady he wanted to court; a jeweler would smooth both sides of the coin before engraving what the suitor wanted to write on the coin, and if the lady accepted it, it meant that the affections were reciprocated.

Anthony had chosen a gold coin to give you, with a tiny hole on it so that you could carry it easier as either a necklace or a bracelet. You turned the coin in your hand, the engraving catching your eye;

Heart over logic.

A giddy laughter escaped from your lips as you looked up at him, closing your palm around the coin.

“I do accept,” you managed to say softly, making him let out a breath. “Nothing could make me happier.”

He looked almost speechless before a smile lit up his face and you let out an excited giggle, your stomach doing pleasant flips. You lowered your head to look down at the coin again and he buried his nose into your hair, running his fingertips over your palm, making you close your eyes for a moment before opening them again upon hearing footsteps. Anthony pressed a hurried kiss to the top of your head before stepped back and Cecily entered the garden again.

“I just saw the love of my life coming here,” she said and linked her arm with yours. “Come on, let’s meet him.”

You bit down on a smile and let her lead you, with Anthony following you behind and Elias waved at you, then approached you.

“Where were you? I stopped by the cascade but it was over.”

“We went to see the Spring Garden,” Cecily said. “You?”

“I swear, I’ve had it up here with these suitors,” he whined, and you stole a look at Anthony who winked at you. “Anyway, let’s go back, shall we? I’m starving.”

                                  *

You could barely sleep that night after you came back. The excitement roaring through your veins was so strong that even the fireworks you had all watched back at Vauxhall couldn’t come close to what you were feeling inside, and after getting back home, you had excused yourself to your bedroom and buried your face into the pillow, letting out an excited scream.

You were nearly intoxicated by what had happened, so around the dawn you had dozed off, still holding onto the coin. Naturally, you had woken up later than usual, way after breakfast time and after getting into your gown, you kept fidgeting in your seat while Lucie worked on your hair.

“So it’s a love token then?” she asked and you nodded, your whole attention on the ribbon you were trying to put through the small hole in the coin.

“Yes,” you said. “And I will wear it.”

“Will your father and brother not ask?” she asked you. “I gather they have seen love tokens before.”

“Oh, I’ll…I’ll keep it under the bust of my gown so no one will see,” you said. “But I will know what it is—” you held your breath as you fit the ribbon through the hole. “Voila!”

She let out a small laugh as she withdrew her hands from your hair, then motioned at you to give her the coin. She quickly tied it behind your neck and you fixed your dress, making sure the coin would stay hidden in your cleavage.

“There, you look very beautiful.”

You shot her a bright smile and turned around to look at her better.

“Lucie I’m so happy!”

“Well I’m glad!” she said, mirroring your smile and you fanned at your face.

“Do you think—”

“My lady?” a maid knocked on the door and cracked it open. “They require your presence downstairs.”

You pulled back. “Is everything alright? The Duke—”

“He’s fine, everyone is fine,” she assured you. “But you…um, you should see this I think. The family is in the drawing room.”

You exchanged glances with Lucie as you stood up. “Do you know what’s happening?”

“Not at all, they had just finished breakfast when I came here,” she said, following you close. You left your room and made your way to the drawing room, and as soon as you stepped inside, you froze.

There were dozens of flowers. A maid was placing the last bouquet on the table when you stopped dead in your tracks, and looked around.

“What is this?” you asked and Cecily looked at you over her shoulder, then smiled at you.

“Uh, flowers.”

“From?”

Elias pinched the bridge of his nose. “From Anthony.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you gawked at him.

“What?”

“Is this boy trying to kill me?” The Duke wondered out loud, glaring at the desk filled with flowers. “Is that what’s going on? First the fine china, now this?”

“In all honesty Percy,” Aunt Lavinia said. “I doubt he is thinking about you.”

“I specifically said no suitors allowed, Lav.”

“Well, technically he’s not here,” Aunt Lavinia pointed out. “His flowers are.”

“How do you—” you squeaked out and cleared your throat. “How do you know they’re from him?”

“Oh I’m glad you asked, because he sent a card,” Elias said, leaning back to the table, crossing his arms. “Right on top of the bouquet over there.”

You approached the bouquet he motioned at to take the card, and held your breath as you skimmed the lines.

To the lady who holds my heart,

Anthony Bridgerton.

You could feel the smile warming your face, Aunt Lavinia and the Duke’s argument continuing while Cecily cleared her throat.

“Y/N, it wasn’t in an envelope or anything of the sort,” she said. “The card, I mean. It was right on top of the bouquet, which means all the maids saw it, which means…”

“Everyone in the ton will know it,” you finished her sentence for her and she nodded.

“Exactly,” she said with a grin. “So it is official then. Anthony Bridgerton is courting you.”

A giggle escaped from your lips and Elias threw his head back, letting out a groan.

“Great,” he grumbled. “Here comes the inevitable, I guess.”

Chapter 33

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Fifty One

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends,

As always, thank you so much for your love on this fic! Now we are past chapter 50 it felt like time for another new banner, so I hope you like it!

Also, this chapter of SGW makes my overall word count on AO3 tip over into 1.7 million....which is absurd. That means I am now about 35k words away from having written more words for Hotchniss than there are words in the entire Game of Thrones 'A Song of Fire and Ice' series!! Again...absurd haha

Whilst this chapter, and the next couple in this story, are quite domestic and fluffy....we do have some more drama and hurt/comfort to come.

Please do let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.9k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List and will be updated as we go along.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily blows out a steady breath as she lifts Lily out of her car seat and holds her against her chest. 

“You ready?”

She turns to look at Aaron, the understanding smile on his face going some way to make her feel slightly less ridiculous, but not entirely curing the mix of anxiety and guilt swirling in her gut. 

It was her first day back at work. The past few months had flown by. The days had been long, sometimes drawn out with very little sleep and a type of exhaustion she hadn’t known existed, but now looking back on it she couldn’t believe her maternity leave was over. Surgery and a traumatic birth she knew she still hadn’t entirely processed felt like they had happened both a lifetime ago and just yesterday simultaneously. 

Emily nods tightly, even though she feels anything but, and she watches as he grabs the diaper bag out of the back of her car and then closes the door for her. They’d driven in separately since he had to go straight to the jet once they dropped off Lily for her first day in daycare. Emily had heard something she refused to call panic rise up in her chest as she was making sure she’d packed enough milk for Lily when she heard Aaron’s phone ring. A call at that time in the morning only ever meant one thing - a case, and the thought of dropping their little girl off for the first time, by herself, made her more anxious than staring down a serial killer ever had. 

She was sure she’d never loved her husband more than when she heard him say he’d meet the team on the jet, that he had something important to do first. It was one of the moments when she was strangely grateful that she was his second wife, his second chance. He had taken the lessons he’d learnt from the mistakes in his marriage to Haley and was doing what he could to make things right now. 

Aaron wraps his arm around Emily, his hand on her shoulder as he guides her into the daycare centre. It was the best one in the state, something that made him feel infinitely better about leaving his little girl here, and mercifully close to work. He knew this was one of the occasions when he had to be the strong one. All of Emily’s nerves and doubts, things that she only let him see, were just beneath her skin, her whole body vibrating with them if he looked close enough. He could push his own feelings down so he could assure her that everything would be fine, that their daughter would spend her day with people trained to look after her. 

He smiles as the daycare director approaches them. They’d met her, a kind woman called Jane Martin, once when they came to register Lily. There was an air of reassurance to her, something that seemed unflappable, but Aaron knew that would do nothing to help his wife through the next few minutes. 

“Mr and Mrs Hotchner,” Jane says, her smile wide as she walks over, “It’s so lovely to see you,” she turns her attention to Lily, the baby still snuggled in her mother’s arms, “And hello Lily, you somehow got even prettier than the last time I saw you.” 

In any other circumstances, Aaron is sure he’d laugh at how his wife holds Lily even tighter, an unnecessary defence mechanism towards the woman they were paying to look after her. He knows now isn’t the time and he clears his throat to cover it, passing the diaper bag over to Jane. 

“She ate about 45 minutes ago,” he says, returning his hand to his wife’s lower back, his palm warm through her shirt, “And we’ve labelled the milk up as you instructed.”

Jane nods as she hangs the bag over her shoulder, “I’ll make sure it all gets put in the fridge,” she says, turning back to look at Emily, who was still holding Lily as if she was going to be snatched from her. Jane’s smile turns sympathetic, and Aaron is sure this is something she sees on a daily basis, “Well Lily,” she says, stepping closer, “I think Mommy and Daddy need to go to work.” 

There’s a moment of silence, and Emily feels her throat go dry, her heartbeat loud in her head. It was ridiculous, a pull she didn’t understand, but all she wanted to do was run out the front door and take her baby with her. She knew she needed to do this, that her work was part of who she was, part that she had missed in the last few months, but right now, the part of her that wanted to keep her daughter with her at all times was threatening to win out. 

“Sweetheart?” 

Aaron’s voice and the way his touch on her back gets more insistence draws her back into the moment, and she clears her throat and nods. She tilts her head down to look at Lily, her heart seizing in her chest as her little girl smiles at her. She kisses her forehead and then her cheek, breathing her in like it wouldn’t be a matter of hours until she sees her again.

“Mommy loves you very much,” she says, her lips still pressed against her daughter’s soft cheek, “And I’ll be back to pick you up later, okay?” She kisses her again and pulls back, her lips shaking as she smiles, “I love you.” 

Aaron smiles at the sight of them together, something he could never tire of, and his eyebrows start to furrow as he realises his wife is making absolutely no attempt to hand the baby over to either him or Jane. He clears his throat, getting his wife’s attention, “Em-”

“I think you’re going to have to take her from me,” she says, her voice cracking slightly, a sure sign she would lose control of her emotions the second they stepped out into the parking lot, “I…I can’t let go.” 

He nods, briefly squeezing her hip to let her know he understood, and then he reaches for Lily, “Come here Lily-pad,” he says, noting the distinct lack of his wife’s chastisement that usually followed his use of the nickname she hates. He takes a moment to hold Lily close, to press a kiss to her cheek, his heart clenching in his chest as she giggles, one of his favourite sounds in the world, “Daddy loves you too, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.” 

He smiles at Jane as he passes Lily to her, his fingers twitching to take her back as soon as she’s no longer in his embrace. Instead, he wraps his arm around his wife, holding her slightly tighter than he usually would in a public setting just in case she tried to bolt. 

“You have our numbers if you need anything,” Emily says, her eyes fixed on her daughter as she speaks to Jane, “I’ll just be a few miles away, I can come any time.” 

Jane nods patiently, once again obviously very used to this, to the difficulty parents had in letting go, and she smiles, “Of course Mrs Hotchner,” she shifts Lily so she’s facing them a little better, holding her tiny wrist up and helping her wave at her parents, “Say bye bye Lily.”

Emily and Aaron say goodbye simultaneously and she feels rooted to the spot until Aaron starts to turn her, his hand gentle but firm on her as he guides her back into the parking lot. As soon as the door is closed, as soon as they are alone, she wraps her arms around him tightly, sinking into the comfort he willingly gives her. 

“She’ll be fine, baby,” he assures her, stamping a kiss to the side of her head as he runs a hand up and down her back, “We picked this place because it’s the best, remember?” 

She nods against him and sniffs. She pulls back and wipes a stray tear from her cheek, shaking her head at herself as she does so, “I feel ridiculous for crying,” she says, an edge of frustration in her voice. She looks back into the building but she can’t see Lily anymore and she blows out a breath, “It’s stupid but I miss her already.”

“It isn’t ridiculous or stupid,” he assures her, wiping a tear from her cheek as he cups it to make her look at him, “I feel the same way. Do you want to know why?” He asks and she nods, drawing a small smile out of him, “It’s because we’re her parents.”

She chuckles humourlessly, “Does it get any easier?” 

Even though she missed Jack whenever he wasn’t around, this felt different. It had always been a part of her relationship with the boy she loved as her own - saying hello and then see you soon, something she was used to. She’d never been separated from Lily for more than a couple of hours at most, and she’d missed her every second. 

“No,” Aaron says, wiping another tear from her face, smiling when she frowns at him, “It doesn’t.” 

She scoffs, “You couldn’t lie to me?” 

He leans in and presses a kiss to her lips, “Never have, never will.” 

She hums and leans into him, wrapping her arms around his middle as she rests her cheek against his jacket, any usual concerns about getting make up on his suit nowhere to be found. 

“Tell me something good?”

He smiles and cups the back of her head, his fingers tangled in hair she still complained was too short, “In a few hours you’ll go pick her up and you’ll be able to tell her all about how amazing your first day at work was, and how her mommy is a superhero.” 

She pulls back and smiles at him, biting on the inside of her cheek in an attempt to contain it, “You’re sweet,” she checks the time on her watch over his shoulder, “And you’re also late.” 

He kisses her again, “You’re sure you’re okay?” 

She nods, even though she’s not sure, and she kisses him before she pulls back, “I’ll be fine,” she says as she steps towards her car, “Be safe. I love you.” 

“Love you too,” he replies, digging his keys out of his pocket, “Let me know how your first day goes.” 

She winks at him and blows him a kiss as she gets into her car. She pulls the door closed behind her and spots the empty car seat in her rearview mirror. She closes her eyes and gives herself a moment, blowing out a slow steady breath as she tries to force herself from the mindset she’d been in for weeks into the one she’d had for years. 

She opens her eyes and looks at the car seat’s reflection again before meeting her own eyes in the mirror. She was Emily Hotchner, wife and mother, and she had to remember how to be Emily Prentiss, FBI Special Agent all over again.

She just hoped the day would come when she’d be able to feel like both without feeling like she was failing at one of them. 

___

Emily is torn from sleep by a familiar sound, her daughter’s cries waking her up what felt like mere minutes after she’d finally drifted off. She struggled to sleep without Aaron next to her, the warmth of his body, the safety of his embrace, allowing her to relax and rest in ways she would have once thought impossible. She missed him when he was away on cases, the luxury they’d once had of always being together when she was still on the team something that was in the past.

Her first day back at work had been good. It felt strange to be part of a new team, to get to know people whose faces she’d seen before around the office but had never spoken to more than polite conversation in the kitchen or elevator. She felt out of sorts and out of practice, trying to balance proving her worth, something her language skills had done almost immediately like when she joined the BAU, and pumping milk in the bathroom before her breasts felt like they were going to explode. 

The relief she’d felt at the end of the day when she’d picked Lily up was palpable. A tightness in her chest that had only loosened the second she saw her little girl, when she held her in her arms. Aaron had called at the time he knew they’d be getting home even though he was busy with work trying to pin down a spree killer in the midwest. 

Emily groans as she sits up, blearily rubbing her eyes as she looks at the time, noting it had only been about 90 minutes since she’d last checked it.  She smiles at Lily as she leans over the bassinet and picks her up, shushing the infant by instinct, her lips against her forehead as she settles back onto the bed with her daughter on her chest. 

“Mommy’s got you, sweet girl,” she says, whispering even though it was only the two of them in the house, both of them now awake despite the unsociable hour, “What’s wrong, huh?” Lily continues to cry, one of her tiny fists in her mouth as she turns her head towards Emily’s chest. Emily chuckles softly as she adjusts her hold on the baby, unbuttoning her pyjama shirt so she can start to feed her daughter, “Daddy always says you’re like me,” she says, shifting Lily so latches on, the sensation, although still painful at times, was something Emily was used to now, the strangeness that had once existed with it long gone, “But he’s always hungry just like you,” she says, stroking Lily’s cheek, “And you both have a thing for my breasts.” 

She leans back against the headrest and lets out a yawn, her eyes fixed on her daughter as she eats. When it was just the two of them like this she couldn’t help but wonder about what it was like when she was as young as Lily. If her mother had woken up in the night with her, or if the nannies Emily remembered from her earliest memories had always been around. There were so many gaps in her knowledge of when she was a baby, questions she’d never been able to ask her mother, their relationship not one that allowed for queries about whether she’d been breastfed or not, whether she’d been fussy or slept through the night. It was hard to imagine either of her parents getting up with her, impossible to picture them exhausted as the baby who turned out to be their only child kept them up all night. 

She couldn’t picture them looking at her the way she looked at Lily, awe and love and adoration seeping out of every pore no matter the time of day or night. 

She knew her parents loved her, that there must have been joy somewhere along the line. Excitement when they realised they were having a baby, relief when she was born safely despite her slightly early arrival, but that knowledge made everything worse. They’d both chosen something else over her, whether it be a new life completely or alcohol, and she couldn’t imagine ever doing that with Lily or Jack, or any other children that she may have. They would always be her priority, and she would spend her whole life making sure they knew that. 

Emily sighs as she feels the guilt from that morning return, the burning feeling in her chest she was sure she would get used to. A phantom sensation she’d only ever realise was there when she paid attention to it. 

“Mommy loves you so much,” she says, smiling at the sight of an increasingly sleepy Lily, the baby milk drunk as she pulls away from her mother’s chest, seemingly full for now. Emily lifts her so she's against her shoulder, gently patting her back as she kisses her temple, “I hope you never doubt that for a second.” 

She smiles as her response is a burp, and she kisses Lily’s temple again before she sits up, placing her back in her bassinet. Emily yawns as she re-buttons her pyjama shirt unevenly, not caring enough to start again, and she lays back down. Her phone vibrates and she picks it up, squinting at the bright light as she reads a text from her husband on the screen. 

Hope you are asleep. We got the unsub, I should be home with you by morning. Love you. 

She smiles as she types out a quick response, locking her phone and placing it down on the nightstand before she snuggles back into the covers, breathing in the scent of her and her husband on their sheets. 

Love you too. If you wake our daughter up when you open the front door we’re never having sex again. 

-x-

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[george-weasleys-girl]

North Star Series

Chapter 5 - Family Affairs (Part 1)

Warnings: divorce, mentions of child abandonment, curse words

Summary: The arrival of a letter brings Y/N's past to light and reveals George's greatest fear.

Start Here:

~•~

The letter arrived at breakfast in amongst a jumble of others from her friends back home. Y/N rolled her eyes when she saw the name. Mara. Her mother. 'What now?' She sighed and stuffed the unwanted correspondence into her backpack. She could read it later, no point in ruining the entire day.

~•~

The last couple of months had been some of the happiest of George’s life. He and Y/N had become quite close as friends and confidants. They spent much of their free time together sitting by the fire in the common room, talking well into the night. Their conversations meandered, drifting from one subject to another and back again. He felt like he'd known her for years, instead of just two short months. That was how George knew something was wrong the moment he saw her. Rather than her usual bubbly self, Y/N sat with her arms crossed, staring into the fire, face taut, a letter laying open on her lap.

"Hey Y/N," He asked sitting down beside her, placing a hand on her knee. "Everything ok?"

She glanced down at the letter before answering. "Got a letter from my mom today."

Other than mentioning her grandparents a few times, Y/N didn't talk about her family. George sensed that things might be less than optimal on the homefront, so he didn't push. He figured she'd talk about it when she ready.

"This is a bad thing, I take it?" George gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

Y/N gave a wry laugh. "Something like that."

"Wanna talk about it?" George asked.

"Do you want the long story or the short one?"

"Your choice, love."

Y/N opened and closed her mouth a few times before settling on how to began.

"My parents divorced when I was six."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she noticed George getting weepy cow eyes and quickly added, "it was for the best, trust me." She placed her hand over his and continued. "They should've never been married in the first place. They got hitched three weeks after meeting each other. Vegas wedding with an Elvis. I think it was a drive-thru, too." Her eyebrows crinkled together for a moment, trying to remember, then waved the thought away. "Eh, it doesn’t matter."

George didn't fully understand everything she said, but her voice had lost it's edge and the sparkle was returning to her eyes. He was on cloud nine just thinking he might've had something to do with cheering her up.

"I was a big, unpleasant surprise." Y/N explained. "They never intended to have kids. But, they decided to go ahead and give the whole parenting job a try."

"Substandard work?" George asked, putting his arm around her.

"That's one way to put it." Y/N leaned into his side. "It pretty much boils down to neither of them wanting to take responsibility for me. Mom traveled alot for work. Two or three weeks at a time. My dad refused to take care me, so I got pushed onto my grandparents. Hell, even when she was home she was still shuffling me off on them half the time."

George's nostrils flared and his arm wrapped tighter around her shoulders. The knowledge that Y/N's parents just blithely tossed her off whenever she was an inconvenience made his blood boil.

Y/N felt the shift. She sat up and looked him straight in the eye. "George, listen to me. I promise you, things worked out for the best. When my parents divorced after years of non-stop bickering and fighting, it was a godsend. Neither one wanted custody of me, so they signed me over to my grandparents. I was far closer to them than I ever was to my parents. So, I was ecstatic to be moving in with them permanently. And, honestly,I think they did an amazing job raising me."

"That they did." George agreed, his tension ebbing away. "So, what does the bitch want?" He gestured to the letter.

Y/N laughed out loud. "The bitch," she emphasized the word, "is trying to be all sweet and motherly."

"After abandoning you for a decade?" George shouted, making the few remaining people in the common room jump.

"Oh, she never does anything nice without an ulterior motive." Y/N answered, placing a gentle hand on his bouncing leg. "It must be something big, because she didn't spit it out in the letter. She'll send me a few more saccharine sweet letters trying to butter me up before asking. Won't work. Never does."

"Good girl," George smiled, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close again. "Does she know you're a witch?"

"Nope."

"How did she know you were here?"

"She mailed it to Ilvermorny. She thinks it's just some fancy boarding school. They forwarded it here."

George nodded. "And your dad?"

"Haven't seen or heard from him since they divorced." Y/N shrugged.

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

"Bastard."

Y/N giggled. "He is, but that's ok. I don't care if I ever see him again. If there's one thing my parents taught me, it's to be very careful who you let into your life. I'd rather be alone, than surrounded by the wrong people."

George responded by pulling her even closer. She melted into his warmth, laying her head against his shoulder. He rested his cheek on top of it, breathing in her familiar scent of sandalwood and roses. For a long while, the crackling fire was the only sound in the room.

George's voice was almost a whisper when he broke the silence. "That's the one thing that terrifies me."

"What's that, Georgie?"

"Being alone."

~•~

*If you'd like to be added to the taglist, let me know*

~•~

Next Chapter:

[dhampiravidi]

hot take: it should’ve been Izzy/Jace & Clary/Simon! Spoilers thru The Dark Artifices…

am I the only 1 who read City of Bones & City of Ashes & thought that Clary would be better w/Simon, while Izzy should be w/Jace?

hear me out!

I should start by admitting that from the 2nd chapter of COB, I disliked Clary. Throughout the series, there are SO many times where her refusal to listen to her allies makes things harder. She yells at Jace a lot in the beginning, despite the fact that he kinda saved her life. But then, all of a sudden, we’re told that her take-no-shit attitude breaks through his façade of arrogance & she’s the 1st girl he’s ever truly loved—as if that’s not dramatic. & then in COHF they fuck (while in an equivalent to Hell), since y’know, all couples have to fuck at least once before they die. & don’t get me started on how they proposed to each other.

Basically, their whole relationship is just a lot of over-the-top shit. Felt like they were both the “saviors” of the Clave, so they were pushed together (mind you, the 1st series takes place in a matter of MONTHS). It’s supercharged puppy love.

ANYWAY…

I guess my main thing is, Clary & Simon knew each other for a long time. Yeah, she somehow didn’t notice his crush on her. But she didn’t have to date him just because she wanted to ignore her feelings for Jace. (Tbh it seems like she was using Simon in that way, but whatever.) I’m a fan of friends-to-lovers, because I think your endgame should also be 1 of your best friends. & weirdly, Clary finally seems to find Simon attractive once he grows out his hair & other girls (Izzy & Maia) show an interest in him. Also, there were numerous occasions where Simon felt intimidated by Izzy, even when she treated him as a part of their group.

I’m sure that the biggest issue people have w/the idea of Izzy/Jace is the fact that they were raised together. Yeah, well, Alec had loved Jace practically since they 1st met, but we focused on Alec’s struggle as a gay young person in a partly homophobic atmosphere (+ the unrequited nature of it all). That parabatai curse from The Dark Artifices wasn’t mentioned (or *cough* created) until that series.

Back to Izzy/Jace. She’s said to be the only 1 who can keep up w/him & unless the popular theory that she’s Valentine’s other child-slash-experiment proves true…that’s fucking awesome. Whips are extremely hard & dangerous to wield, especially when you’re running in heels. So she keeps up w/him in a fight. She also keeps up w/him verbally—Jace is known to be well-read & sassy, but she always has a witty retort prepared for him. & again, for those who focus on them being raised together…1) there were lots of unrelated Shadowhunters living under 1 roof & 2) Jace thought he was related to Clary, but aside from some guilt, they still got all hot & bothered about each other. Lastly, everyone seems to forget that Simon lowkey cheated on Izzy & Maia by secretly dating them both AT THE SAME TIME. Considering Izzy’s relationship w/her dad in TMI, you’d think that’d cross Simon off of her list. Jace, on the other hand, is ridiculously loyal. The only time he ever does anything to hurt his love interest is when he’d rather hurt their feelings than watch them die.

So yeah…

[ikeromantic]

Entwined Ch. 4

Part 4 of a multipart series. Mai has been reborn in the modern age after a full life in the Sengoku. The warlords as spirit animals find her again after 500 years of searching for her soul. Approx. 3500 words.

Part 1

Previous: Chapter 3

Kaiya was covered in fabric and notions. Bits of thread stuck to her clothes and dotted the floor around her. Mai knew she probably looked just as ridiculous about now. A pile of throw pillows lay beside her, made up of odds and ends, waiting to be stuffed. Her friend opted to make some aprons, and they’d been hand stitching the details on for the last hour. 

This was Mai’s favorite part. Trying to figure out how to use buttons or trim to create interesting patterns that would look nice once the pillow was fluffed, but she wasn’t making much progress. 

“So this guy takes you out to like, a romantic ruin by the lake and then tells you he’s not interested?” Kaiya laughed. “You don’t buy that, right? I mean . . . he’s clearly trying to play hard to get.”

Mai shook her head. “No! It’s really not like that. He’s just a client.” She put a stitch through the buttonhole, refusing to look up at her friend because if she did, she was sure Kaiya would see through her flimsy denial. She did like Mitsuhide. But it would never work out. 

“Girl! Look, he’s hot and he’s obviously into you. What is the problem? So what if you’re also his costume designer? If anything,” Kaiya leaned forward, her smile going even wider, “that just makes it easier to get his clothes off. Please please tell me you’ve done a fitting for him.”

“No! I mean, not yet. I’m supposed to meet him on Monday.” For a moment, Mai’s imagination got away with her. Thinking of what he must look like under the fabric. How close she would need to be to measure and pin. Her cheeks grew hot. 

Kaiya fell back, laughing so hard her body shook. “You’re practically drooling!” 

“I’m not!” Mai stood. “Look, ok, yes. He’s hot and flirty and how could I not like him? But Kai, he’s an actor! I’d get a reputation. And even if I didn’t, you know how actors are. I’d be his flavor of the week and then he’d move on to the next girl that caught his eye.” She sighed. “Anyway, you want a snack? I picked up those crackers you like.”

“Mmm. Yeah. Ok.” Kaiya watched her intently. “So, I get you. No actors. Even really cute flirty ones. So . . . what about grocery-guy?”

“Hideyoshi? He’s really nice.” Mai came back with food and tossed Kaiya her crackers. “I should text him.”

Her friend gaped. “You’re telling me you went on a date with the guy and then ghosted him?”

“No! I mean, I wrote him a thank you the next day so I didn’t ghost him. I just haven’t had time to - to write him back yet.”

“Back? Are you telling me he texted you and you left him on read?!” Kaiya snatched Mai’s phone from the floor and held it out to her. “You need to tell that cute boy you’re sorry. Now. You cannot ruin this just because you’re busy with work.”

Mai nodded and took the proffered phone. “I know. I just don’t know what to say.” She opened her messages to the one Hideyoshi sent her. “It’s only been a couple of days. It’s not like I’m ignoring him.” 

Kaiya leaned over to read the message aloud. “No need to thank me. I am lucky to have a beautiful girl enjoy a good meal with me. We should meet again soon. Whatever you like, my treat. And hey! Don’t work too hard! Smiley face. Is that the one with blushy cheeks? It is!” She pushed Mai’s shoulder. “What are you thinking? That’s the sweetest post-date text ever.”

“Probably not . . . ever.” Mai giggled. It was ridiculously sweet. “Ok. Let’s see. Mmmm, what about -” She started to type. “Hey Hideyoshi! How’s your weekend going?”

“Oh my god, Mai. That’s the best you can manage?”

Mai threw a button at Kaiya. “Shut up! It’s fine. It sounds normal.”

The reply was immediate. Both girls hovered over the phone, reading. “It’s fine. Would be better if I had another date with a pretty girl to look forward to. Smiley face. What about you?”

“Ok, ok. We’re packing up here and you are going to tell him you’re free right now. Invite him to the movies or something.”

“I’m not telling him that. It sounds desperate!” Mai wrote back. “Working on some side projects at the office. Would definitely be better with something fun to look forward to.” 

Kaiya gave the text a nod of approval. “Alright, that one at least sounds interested and a little mysterious. Still boring though. Tell him to send nudes!”

Mai felt her whole face go hot. “Kai! What the hell? I’ve never ever asked a guy for nudes!”

“Pffft. And that is why your dating life is dead. All work, no play . . .”

“So what? You asked a guy for nudes? You have got to be kidding.”

Kaiya laughed. “Well yeah, because cute guys don’t drop into my life from nowhere. If they did, I’d be starting an art gallery on my phone.”

“You wouldn’t! Gross!”

“The body is beautiful, Mai. And I appreciate beauty. Besides, if I don’t have at least a shirtless pic, how am I supposed to imagine licking ice cream off his -”

The office door opened. “Ah, hello?”

Hideyoshi poked his head in and looked around until he spotted Mai and Kaiya. Then he smiled and ducked his head, a little embarrassed. “Sorry to pop in like this. You look busy. Is it ok if I come in?”

“Um. Yes?” Mai scrambled to her feet as Kaiya stood up beside her. Both girls flushed to the tips of their ears.

Kaiya nudged her. 

“Oh, ah. Hideyoshi. This is my friend Kaiya. Kaiya, this is my, um, my new . . . friend? Hideyoshi.” Mai wanted to sink into the floor right then. Why was her brain so stupid? My new friend. 

Kaiya gave her a look that promised much teasing later, but she smoothly stepped forward. “It is so nice to finally meet you! Mai has told me so much about you.”

“All good things, I hope.” Hideyoshi grinned. “Anyway, I didn’t want to interrupt your work. I was just in the neighborhood when I got your text and I, I wanted to drop this off for you.” He held out a little decorative bag tied with a pretty ribbon.

Mai took the bag. “What? Hideyoshi, did you get me a present?”

He chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s a little presumptuous. I know. It’s just, I saw it the day after our dinner out and . . . I don’t know. I thought you might like it. I’ll take it back if you don’t want it.”

Kaiya gave Mai a look that said her friend was not about to let her turn the gift down. 

“I’m sure it’s lovely. It’s just a surprise.” As in, Mai was pretty sure no guy she ever dated bought her something after the first time they went out. But Hideyoshi seemed pretty genuine. She peeked into the bag and nearly dropped it. Her eyes went wide as she looked back up at him. “This is . . . these are . . . no. No, that’s too expensive. Hideyoshi.”

She tried to hand him back the bag but Kaiya snagged it and untied the bow. “Oh. My. God. These shears are to die for! Mai, did you tell him you wanted these?”

“So it’s a good gift?” Hideyoshi’s eyes were wide and earnest.

“Good? It’s perfect. These have the comfort grip and the blades can be sharpened. Every seamstress wants a set of these.” Kaiya excitedly took the shears from the bag. 

Hideyoshi wasn’t paying any attention to Kaiya. His warm gaze held Mai’s. “I knew you liked sewing. Not just for work. I - I thought you might like these. More than a box of candy, anyway.” 

“I do. Thank you.” Mai normally refused expensive gifts because it always seemed like there were strings attached. Men often thought they bought a ticket to your pantyline when they paid for dinner. So what would a pair of pricey sewing shears get them? But Hideyoshi didn’t give off that vibe at all. In fact, he was beaming now and there wasn’t anything inappropriate in his smile. 

Not like the mischief and sensuality that always played at the edges of Mitsuhide’s sharp grin. 

Mai pushed that comparison out of her head. It didn’t matter, because Hideyoshi was perfectly sweet and very dateable and Mitsuhide was just a client. Even he said so. She cleared her throat. “Would you like a drink? Why don’t you sit down and I’ll grab a soda.”

Hideyoshi’s eyes crinkled. “I’d love to, but you look busy. And I’ve got places to be. I really did just want to drop that off for you.” He reached out and took Mai’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank you for accepting my gift.”

“Thank you for getting me something so thoughtful.” Mai couldn’t help but feel a warmth wash over her from his gentle grasp. She felt small and delicate in his hands. She caught Kaiya pretending to vomit just out of Hideyoshi’s line of sight. 

“Have a good evening. To both of you.” He let go and gave Kaiya a wave goodbye. 

When he was gone, Mai sagged back to the floor, staring at the shears. 

“He was gorgeous! What are you doing, Mai? He’s so nice and so so into you. He was looking at you like you’re tonight’s dessert. And you let him just walk out!”

“I mean, yeah? What was I supposed to do?” Mai rolled her eyes.

Kaiya laughed. “Look, if it was me, I would have kicked you out and jumped him right here.” She noisily kissed the air. “He’s tall and his ass is so perfect. And those shoulders . . . what the hell, Mai? This is the guy you ghosted for days? What is wrong with you?”

“I told you, I didn’t ghost him. I just . . . I’ve been really busy.” Mai shrugged. Her friend was right, of course. She was getting so wrapped up in work and Akechi’s teasing mixed signals. “You’re right though.” Mai came to a decision. “I’ll ask him if he wants to go out next week. Take a day and just go do something fun.”

“Yes!” Kaiya grinned. “And then come back and tell me all about it. You know I live for your dating life.”

Mai laughed. “Hey! No - what about that guy from the coffee shop? The barista?”

“Pffft. A load of nothing. He puts hearts in everybody’s foam.” Kaiya rolled her eyes. “All the good ones are taken or fictional.” She poked Mai’s arm. “You’re the only one finding the exceptions. Two hot guys.” She sighed.

“Three actually. Did I tell you about the chef?”

Kaiya threw a pillow at her. “What? Now you’re just getting greedy!”

Mai giggled. “Hey, it’s not like he was hitting on me. He was just really friendly. You’d love him. And . . .” She paused, remembering how familiar his company felt. As if he already knew her. “He said I should drop by again sometime. We could go together. Me and you, Asami, if she wants to go.”

“Yes” Kaiya grinned. “I like a man who can cook.”

***

Monday came too soon. Mai woke up before her alarm went off. She stared at her ceiling wondering if it was worth it to try to fall back asleep for another twenty minutes. Her eyes felt dry and itchy, and there was a steady pulse of pressure in her temples. After a moment, she forced herself out of bed and shuffled to the cabinet for eye drops and pain killer.

Every step made her head hurt more. Little colored lights flickered and floated at the edges of her vision. Not good, she thought. There was too much to do today to get a headache like this. She had to drop off a wedding dress commission and then meet Mitsuhide for final fittings on the first act’s costume set. Thinking about it just made her head hurt worse. Focus, Mai told herself. Medicate first. Worry about the day later.

On the way back to her bed, she stumbled and lost her balance. The pills she’d just taken threatened to come up. Mai swallowed, doing her best to keep them down. Her head spun as she tried to right herself and the pain welled up so strongly that she almost cried. She sat down on the floor and rested her head in her hands. 

“Ok, breathe,” she whispered. “Just sit here and wait for the painkillers to kick in. Yeah.” 

Ten minutes later, Mai felt good enough to crawl back into bed. Her head hurt too much to fall back asleep, but she lay there with her eyes closed trying to relax. She promised herself she would go to bed earlier, drink more water, take more walks - anything not to get another headache like this. 

It was clear an hour later that today was not going to happen as planned. Her head didn’t feel any better. If anything, it felt worse the second she tried to sit up. Mai used her phone to turn on her office closed message, and sent an apology text to her wedding customers with a promise to bring the dress by tomorrow. She texted Mitsuhide too, telling him she wasn’t feeling well and asking if they could reschedule fittings during the next rehearsal. 

Mai felt a little guilty about both, but there was no way she could work like this. She could barely see straight. Hopefully no one would be too upset. Word of mouth in this business was important. Tomorrow, she thought, she would pick up flowers or chocolate or something as an extra apology when she met with her clients. 

The bride texted her back almost immediately with a smiley emoji. ‘We were going to call you,’ the text said, ‘to cancel anyway. We need to meet with the caterers today so it works out. See you tomorrow, same time!’ That was a relief.

Mitsuhide didn’t respond back at all, which bothered her. She hoped he got the text and wasn’t just waiting for her with his crew at the theater this afternoon. That would be so embarrassing. Mai resolved to call in a little while, once her pulse stopped hammering at the inside of her skull. 

She drifted in and out of a miserable half-sleep where dreams followed her into her dark apartment and back beneath her eyelids again. A squirrel kept showing up, perched on the side of her dream-bed, blinking at her from her very real windowsill, ducking into her dream-kitchen, and disappearing again. It was really cute, and in her half-sleep it didn’t seem strange at all to have a flying squirrel running around the apartment. She wasn’t sure if it was really there or not, and didn’t care.

In fact, when a click-clunk sounded from the front of the apartment, part of her brain dismissed it as that naughty dream-squirrel. Mai’s eyes squinted open and she rolled over, peering into the front of the apartment, unsure if the noise was real or imagined. A dark silhouette stood in front of the door, back to her. 

Mai sat up with a shriek, going into full panic. The sudden movement made clouds of color burst in her vision and her stomach heaved. Everything spun as if she were falling. Her legs tangled in the blankets and she knocked her phone to the floor. 

The intruder took a step toward her. He had a bag in one hand, the other raised in the air as if to shush her. 

Mai threw her pillow. It was the only thing she could get ahold of and she didn’t know what else to do. The motion sent bright spots of pain spilling into her head and exploding behind her eyes.

“Ow! Hey! Calm down little mouse. I was trying not to wake you.” 

“Little . . . mouse?” The nickname settled on her like a cloak of calm. “Mitsuhide?”

He closed the distance between them and now she could make out his distinct golden eyes and white hair. He wasn’t smiling though. A crease marred his forehead and his lips were pressed together in a pale line. “I brought you some soup and medicine. I wasn’t sure what to get so . . .”

The squirrel from her dream leapt out of the bag with a bottle in its paws. It hopped onto her bed and held the bottle out. 

“Is this your pet?” The squirrel was so cute that for a moment she didn’t question why he was there or how he got in. It was the one from her dream, only she was sure now it was real.

Mitsuhide chuckled. “More yours than mine, I think.”

Mai took the bottle from the squirrel. It was a stronger painkiller than she usually took. “Hm. Smart squirrel. Thank you.” She petted the squirrel and then watched as it leapt and soared off the bed and onto the counter. 

“Let me get you some water, little one.” Mitsuhide set the bag down and brought back a glass. He watched as Mai took a pill from the bottle. “I brought you some soup too. I would have been here sooner if Masamune hadn’t been determined to get fresh ginger for it.”

“Ginger?” She tried to keep her eyes open, to look at him, but even the low light made them ache. 

Mitsuhide nodded. “It’s good for nausea, inflammation . . . anyway, I thought some soup would make you feel better.”

“So. You came here because of my text? How did you know where I live? And how did you get in?” She realized she suddenly had a lot of questions, but as they bubbled out another wave of agony pulsed through her head. She shut her eyes and tried to breathe through it.

“Let’s worry about that when you’re feeling better. Suffice to say, I can’t let my favorite costume designer suffer.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. The light pressure of his cool touch eased the pain just a bit, and Mai felt some of her tension leak away.

When Mitsuhide’s hand lifted, she wanted to call him back. But that would be weird. It was strange enough that he was here at all. Seeing her in her pajamas, hair messy, no makeup . . . Mai let out a sigh. 

“What was that, little mouse?” It sounded like he was in the kitchen.

“Just thinking this is the worst possible way for you to see me.”

Mitsuhide’s laugh was gentle. “I admit, you aren’t at your best. But even sick, you’re a beautiful girl. I didn’t come over expecting you to look nice. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Mai’s lips curled up in a small smile. “Well, I think you’re only the third person to see me like this. Mom, Asami, and now you. So, welcome to the messy-Mai club?” 

“I’m a lucky man.” He sounded closer now. “Don’t throw another pillow at me, ok? I’m just bringing your soup.”

“If you didn’t want to get hit with something, you should have announced yourself or knocked at least.” 

The spoon lightly scraped the bowl. “That wouldn’t have been as much fun.” She could hear his smile as he added, “Your face in that moment was adorable. I don’t think your eyes have ever gone so wide.”

Mai wanted to glare at him, but opening her eyes right now seemed like a lot of work. “You’re a bastard.”

“Mhmm. Now open wide. Soup incoming.”

“Wha-” The spoon slipped past her lips and deposited warm, savory soup across her tongue. She nearly sputtered, caught mid-word, but managed to swallow. “Hey, I can feed myself.”

“Sure you can. Why don’t you open your eyes and show me, hm?”

Mai sighed. “Ok, point. But I can always eat it later. You can stick it in the fridge and go.”

“I could.” The spoon gently bumped against her bottom lip. 

She took the bite. The soup was really good. Sharp tang of ginger, the slight sweet taste of beets and carrots, and just the right consistency to go down easy and settle lightly in her stomach. Mai wanted to complain, but she was finding it harder to bother. Easier to just let this, whatever it was, happen. 

Mitsuhide fed her a few more spoonfuls, but stopped as she began to nod off. She didn’t need to say anything for him to notice the change in her posture, the way her shoulders relaxed into the bed. Mai couldn’t see the tender smile on his face as he adjusted the blankets around her. He leaned forward to kiss her forehead and then paused. His gaze clouded. 

“I shouldn’t have come. I know.” His words were quiet as a breath. “It isn’t fair to you.” A glimmer lit deep in his eyes as he stroked her hair, barely touching the strands with his fingertips. “But I’ve never fought honorably. Honor is for those willing to lose.” Then he finished the movement, pressing his lips to her forehead. 

The squirrel gave him a knowing look from where it sat on the countertop.

Next: Chapter 5

[andydrysdalerogers]

Sideline Love ~ Chapter 12 ~ Custody

Pairings - NFL! Chris Evans and OFC Rebecca Rooney

Series Summary: All football player Chris wants is to play football with his best friends in the NFL. But the night before he meets someone who could change his life... if she wasn't the bosses daughter. Can Chris change her mind with a little sideline love?

Word Count: 2.4K

General Warnings: smut! angst, cheating, parental interference, fluff, football Chris has beard ( 😏 ), injuries during the game, special appearance (don't @ me lol)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Becca Rooney and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

I am trying out a taglist. Please let me know if you would like to be included.

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Charlie ran around with Dodger, laughing as the pup continued to try and catch her. “C’mon Dodger!” She continued to run, enjoying the crisp fall air.  Her mother sat holding Chris’s hand, head on his shoulder. This was the first chance they got to speak after all of the team meetings and Charlie being sick for a few days.

“We should take advantage,” Chris said to her.

“Yeah, I guess we should.”  She lifted her head and pivoted towards him. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I know Angel.”  He sighed.  “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too. Chris, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t Becca. I understand. You did what you felt like what you needed to do.  You were protecting Charlie and me from what Tom wanted.”

“I should have just told my family. That was my worst mistake. Letting him control the narrative.”

“Wouldn’t have changed things Angel.  Your father still would have benched me.”

“God, my father,” she held back her swearing.  “He just wants control.”

“He wants what’s best for you.”

“Don’t defend him.”

“I’m not Angel. I just understand. Trying to protect me may have been your worst mistake but loving you is my favorite mistake.” He reached over for a sweet kiss.  

Becca sighed and looked at Charlie playing.  “What are we going to do Chris? In a few weeks, we will both be out of a job. I mean, I have my trust fund to take care of us for a while but…”

“Angel, I have feelers out for a new job.  A couple of investment firms.  Like I said, I’ll take care of you and my munchkin.” Chris looked into the distance.  “I did have one interesting call.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, from John Lynch.”

“John Lynch? Why does that name sound familiar?”

“He’s the general manager for San Francisco.”

“The Niners?  What did he say?”

“They heard about the benching, and they are interested in a trade or picking up my contract.”

“Are you going to take it?”

“I’ll be honest. I want to keep playing football.  I would rather do it here because I love the guys but since that won’t be happening, I have to consider this opportunity.”

“Oh.”  Becca turned to look out into the park.

“Angel?”  She refused to turn.  “Baby, look at me.”  He saw her lower lip tremble and she wiped under her eyes.  “Becca, this doesn’t mean I want to end things.”

“But you’ll leave. And you don’t want me to come with you?”

“No, baby that’s not what I’m saying.  I would never ask you to move away from your family. I can fly back and forth during the season, and we can switch. But I would love it if you moved into the house here.  Make it our family home.” She sniffled.  “You know that we are endgame right?”

“You mean that?  Endgame? You and me?”

“You, me and Charlie, Angel. “

Becca leaned on his shoulder as he pressed kisses to her head.  They sat in silence for a few moments.  “No.”

Chris was startled.  “What?”

“No, I won’t make you do that.  Charlie is young and the schools out there are good so maybe we keep your house for when we visit, and we get a new one in San Francisco.”

“You’re serious?”

“I love you, Chris. You are the one thing I would change everything for. You gave up your dream here for me. I want my dream to be wherever you are.”

“Angel, what did I do to deserve you?”

“You loved my daughter.  That was enough.”

A piercing giggle punctuated that statement as the pair looked over to see Dodger sitting on Charlie, attacking her with kisses on her face. They laughed and Becca snapped a photo before Chris hauled Dodger off of her.  “You ok, munchkin?”

“I’m ok Daddy!”  She took off and Dodger followed.  Chris looked up stunned at Becca, who had a hand over her mouth.

“Did she just…” Chris sat on the floor, the sentence dying in his mouth.

“Chris, are you ok?”

“My heart just feels like a million different things went through it.” He clutched his chest.  “She’s my girl.”

Becca smiled and got down with him. “Yeah, she is.  Is that ok?”

“It’s perfect Angel.”

A few days later, Becca and Chris found themselves seated next to Robert back in court.  The look on Tom’s face was one of controlled rage.  He kept looking at the couple as they held hands in court, Chris rubbing his thumb over Becca’s knuckles to keep her calm.

The judge had taken a week to decide on custody.  Becca panicked and ran every scenario in her head. Her baby was everything to her and Chris and she just didn’t trust Tom to understand.  He had been able to keep his children from the start.  They had a relationship with their father.  Charlie had chosen hers. A tremble ran through her. Chris felt it and leaned over.  “Its ok Angel. No matter what the decision is, I’m right here.”

“All rise,” the bailiff calls out. Everyone stands and waits as the judge came in and settle at the bench.

“You may sit,” he ordered as he organized his papers.  Becca heard the door creak, and she observed her father coming in and sitting behind her. Rick was not surprised to see Chris but was stunned to see him sitting with her.  “Alright,” the judge started looking at the parties. “Custody hearings are probably my least favorite to deal with but here we are.  This is a very interesting situation concerning the people before this court.”

“Mr. Brady, I know that you are a very well-respected person in your community and a very well-known athlete.  However, given the testimony presented, it makes it hard to rule completely in your favor.  Miss Rooney, I think you have done a wonderful job raising Charlotte.  However, some of your actions have been childish.”

He sighed as he looked at the typed papers.  “That being said, I do believe in second chances, and I think it is in the best interest for Charlotte to get to know both of her parents.  Therefore, I am ordering six consecutive weekends of supervised visitation for Mr. Brady in the city of Pittsburgh.  Understanding that he is currently employed with a weekend job, the weekend will consist of two consecutive days during the week.  If Miss Rooney is unable to be present, the court had received the list of approved supervisors for the visitation.”

Becca felt her chest constrict as he continues.  “After those six weeks, I am ordering joint shared custody of Charlotte Julia Rooney awarded to Miss Rebecca Ann Rooney and Mr. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr.  Arrangements will be agreed upon at the end of the visitation period. However, if Mr. Brady cancels any of those visitations, all future visitations are cancelled and the custody agreement is void. That is my decision.  Court is adjourned.” The gavel hit the desk and a sob ripped from Becca’s chest as she buried her head into Chris’s chest.  He whispered comforting words to her as his eyes never left Brady’s, a smug smile on the latter’s face.

As Robert met with the clerks to get copies of the paperwork, Chris led Becca out, holding her as she tried to calm herself. “C’mon Angel, let’s get you home.  We have to talk to Charlie.”

“How do I explain this to her?”

“We’ll be honest.  Her father wants to be a part of her life.  That’s a good thing Angel.”

“You’re her dad Chris.”

“And I still will be.  She gets two dads.  What a lucky princess.”

This got a small smile from Becca until she heard someone call her name.  She turned to see her father looking at her. Her smile fell and her eyes turned hard. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rick was heartbroken for his daughter. “Rebecca, please.”

“No, father, I will not. Goodbye father.”  She pulled on Chris and walked out.  They headed to the school to pick up Charlie from Kindergarten, formulating what to say to their daughter.  They waited outside the school room for the bell.  “Will she like him more than me?” She whispered.

“Of course not.  You are her mother, Angel.”

“Mama! Daddy!” They broke to see their daughter running towards them.  Becca scooped Charlie up and held her tight.  “Mama, too tight.”

“I’m sorry, monkey.” She passed her off to Chris while trying to compose herself.

“Hey munchkin! You feel like some ice cream?”

“Yay!” Chris carried her to the car as she chattered about school. They got to their ice cream store.  Chris went with a mint chocolate chip, Charlie a strawberry cheesecake and Becca some rocky road.  They sat at the park.

Becca cleaned Charlie’s face and kissed her forehead.  “Monkey, I need to talk to you.”

“I didn’t do it. Dodger did it.” She gave her a cheeky smile.

Becca laughed and looked at Chris.  “She learned that from you.”

“She learned that from Sebastian.” He winked at Charlie.  “Munchkin, we do have to talk to you about something important.”

“Ok, daddy.” It broke his heart to hear that, but he swallowed and nodded to Becca.

“Oh, Charlie you know how you didn’t have a dad before.”  The little girl nodded.  “Well, it’s because your father and me didn’t get along. So, he didn’t come around.  Umm, do you remember the man from the diner. The one I called a stranger?”

“We don’t talk to strangers.  Only Steelers.”  She beamed at Chris, who smiled.

“Right, we don’t talk to strangers.  Well, he wasn’t a stranger.  I knew him.  He’s your daddy.”

“Chris is my daddy.”  Charlie looked at them confused.

“Yes, munchkin, I am your daddy and that makes me so happy to call you my baby girl.  But umm, I didn’t make you with your mama.  That’s this other man.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you have two daddies, monkey.”

“Oh.”  She sat quietly for a minute. “I don’t know what it means.”

“Well, your father would like to meet you and get to know you.” Becca swallowed. “He wants to take you to the park and ask you questions and…”

“No! I have a daddy!”  She reached for Chris.  “You’re my daddy! I don’t want another one!”  She began to sob.

Chris held her tight as she cried. “I know munchkin, I know. But that won’t change. Ever.” He closed his eyes as she buried her head into his neck.

“Charlie, we are going to meet him next week, but Chris and I will be there the whole time. And we are going to do it a few times ok?”

“Is this new daddy going to take me away?”

“No, baby, no.  You might visit with him, but your home is with us and Dodger ok?”

Charlie nodded her understanding but refused to let go of Chris.  Chris got up and held Becca’s hand.  “Let’s go home. My girls need some dinner and Dodger love.”

The first meeting between Tom and Charlie was nothing short of a disaster.  Charlie refused to allow Tom to hug her or hold her hand.  They sat at the park and Tom tried to play with her like he would his boys, but he had no clue how to handle a daughter.

Becca remained silent, not wanting to interfere unless asked.  Tom brought this upon himself, so she sat close by just in case but kept busy with work.  Leaving the Steelers meant she needed to leave her office ready for the next person.  She may be leaving her father’s company, but she refused to leave it a mess.  Her phone pinged again, and she sighed.

Dad: Can we talk?

B: I have nothing to say

D: Becca please.

B: I’m busy supervising Tom with Charlie.

D: is she ok?

B: Its fine

Becca looked up when she heard Charlie wail. She ran towards Becca, full tears, arms stretched. “Monkey, what happened?”

“She fell on the slide,” Tom said.  “I tried to comfort but…”

“I want Daddy.  Take me to daddy,” Charlie wailed.

Tom looked crestfallen. Becca bit her lip.  “I’m sorry Tom.”

“No, its fine. Let’s just call it a day.” Tom gathered his bag.  “You know I wish she hadn’t bonded to Evans.”

“And I wished that you had stepped up, so you had a relationship with her.  But you know, the best laid plans and all.”

“Becca that’s not fair.”

“No, what’s not fair is that while you were trying to save your marriage, you forgot about your daughter.  Chris has never put Charlie second.  You put her last.  Eventually, she may get to know you, but she doesn’t trust you.  You weren’t here.  For five years, you weren’t here.”  Tom swallowed but didn’t speak.

“One day, hopefully, she’ll understand why you didn’t choose her.”

Taglist:

@patzammit

[t3kandson]

Absolute Heartache

Wordcount; 989

Fandom; AB6IX

Ratings; Explicit

Pairing; Reader X Park Woojin & Reader X Jeon Woong

Characters; Park Woojin, Jeon Woong, Lee Daehwi and Kim Donghyun

Warnings; gun shots, angst, illness, and happy ever afters 😉❤️❤️❤️❤️

Notes, Chapter 12/12 of part two

Earlier chapters and part one here

The last chapter 😭. I gave this whole series my whole heart and soul and I’ve cried this whole time preparing to let them go. I know I’ll shed more when I post this as I’ve worked and grown since writing this whole series. Ever since my best friend @lidongsa said they looked like pimps in 1,2,3 music video at the beginning of the year. I then threw myself down the mafia hole I swore blind I’d never write 🤣.

So please give some love, even if it’s just a heart in the comments if you’ve read this whole series and enjoyed it, as it really is my baby. ❤️❤️

If you never stanned AB6IX before reading this, then please stan them. There amazing and funny ❤️ not just was 1,2,3 my motivation but also salute those two music videos are worth a view. ❤️.

“What did we do?” Donghyun muttered looking at you concerned. “Trust him Donghyun, he wouldn’t hurt her,” you turned to your Hyung. You had a lack of trust of anyone that wasn’t family but your father knew how much you loved that crazy girl, even if you felt yourself losing her and Bongseon.

The gun echoed in the distance your heart missed a beat, this wasn’t in the plan. You and Woong looked at each other in shock before you dashed as quick as you could to the sound of the gunshot. Daehwi speeding by your side equally panicked. “He wouldn’t,” Daehwi spluttered as you ran to where they had gone in the distance. “I will fucking kill him if he has,” you screamed to Daehwi to prewarn him. Woong was rushing behind you clearly having passed Bongseon to Donghyun. He was faster then you and he waited no time before passing you to get to her. Your heart filled with jealousy that he would reach her before you.

You slowed when your father carried a limp Y/N in your sight. His face full of concern, Woong reaching her before you as your father held her in his arms. “What the fuck happened?” you cried. “I think she fainted from fright,” he said looking concerned. “What was that gunshot?” you asked. “She told me to shoot her, she was willing to die for you all,” he smiled. “I told you we could trust her,” Daehwi said.

“Wait so you shot her?” your eyes widened checking her out for a gunshot wound. “You really are dumb aren’t you,” Daehwi scoffed rolling his eyes earning a growl his way. “I shot the tree behind her,” your father confirmed. Your father handed her to you, her nape of her neck feeling hot to touch. “Father she’s burning up,” you said looking to him. Daehwi got closer touching her face, “Yes she is,” he said looking at you worried. “She feels like she caught a cold from these wet clothes,” he added looking concerned.

You laid her on the bed her shivering in her sleep as you changed her into new warm clothing. Woong watching over you quiet and pale, “She is ok, right?” he asked. You twisted to look at him to frown but saw him looking as worried as you felt so you softened your glances. “I’m sure it’s just a cold,” you reassured him.

Y/N remained unwell for a couple of days, you had called for a doctor, who came to check her over. You and your siblings waiting impatiently in the hallway, Woong with Bongseon in his arms. You felt a little guilty that you had refused to bond with the little mite. Too scared you would fall even more in love with the very bundle that reminded you of Y/N’s words that day. The perfect family they had, that you wanted but didn’t have no more. Woong’s claim to the family you had done nothing but dream and cry about.

The doctor left the room, you all crowded him, “Is she ok?” Woong choked. He smiled, “yes she’s just got a chest infection nothing some antibiotics won’t cure. I’ve prescribed some tablets that are more safer for the baby,” he said in Woong’s direction as he passed.

You froze at his comments the baby was here in Woong’s arms. “But the baby’s already here,” Woong choked. The doctor spun to look at Woong, “she’s pregnant very early, I would say no more then a month, you didn’t know?” he said looking at Woong.

Woong’s eyes widened, him and both of your brothers eyes glazing over the only person that had been by her side the last month. You fell into the wall almost falling over as you felt faint. You knew without a doubt that this baby was yours.

This time you really was going to be a dad. You finally got your very own little family. You was scared, excited, confused but suddenly you felt the most happiest you had ever experienced. This time no one was going to get to your new family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sand between your toes the hot Spanish sun warming you. Your life was perfect, the only thing heartbreaking for you was your worlds tears, Bongseon’s in particular as she dropped her ice cream. You got off the warm sand to wrap your arms around the toddler, heavy in your arms. “Did you drop your ice cream princess,” you said hugging her tight to your chest, your heart hurting from the sound of her sobs. “Let’s go get another one,” you said as you swept her away for another ice cream.

Before you could reach the ice cream shack, the most beautiful woman in the world, your moon to two stars, approached you. Her eyes glossing over you, her red Ruby necklace sparkling in the sun. Your beautiful Moon to your world, your complete universe, your beautiful Wife Y/N.

You stroked her jaw as you kissed it, tiny palms reaching to you as he struggled to get from his mother to yours. Yongso, your smiling dragon with his mother smile but your features and also your temper as he screeched for your attention, hard grips as he pinched your skin to be held. His sister ever bit of her father, biting her younger brother in jealousy.

“Ok you two can pack that in,” you said hoisting them on both of your hips keeping them apart. “You can see who’s family they belong too,” Y/N teased winking and rolling her eyes. “Oh no there both all you,” you smirked in denial as your lips found hers.

You loved your little family even though it was an heart aching journey. From hating her, falling for her, losing her and having her forever, she was completely your Absolute Heartache, just now the only Aching was how much love you had for this woman.

The end

Previous Chapter. Absolute Heartache Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Thanks again guys for reading the whole 25 chapters of Absolute heartache. Hope I ended it to every one’s satisfaction. It’s official, time to let it go of Woojin and his cute little family ❤️❤️.

If you enjoyed this series please try my, The Boyz Vampire Series, Immortal Betrayal, the last part of the series starts next week for 7 weeks.

[frogtanii]

iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

Mob bucky/seb or mob chris/andy recs??

Updated 07/04/21 ✨ = Just Added

To be added please tag me in your future works!

Hey Anon! I’m so glad you asked this because Mob/Mafia! Any version of those boys is my favorite. In my previous fic recs I recommended...

If love was an option by @mianorth » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Part 1 🦋 Part 2 🦋 Part 3

Good Little Wife & Good Little Girl by @donutloverxo » Mob!Andy Barber x Reader – A little dark and it has some really good smut in it.

Blackmail by @stargazingfangirl18 » Soft!DarkMafia Andy Barber x Female Reader — You were just doing it to protect your family, at least that’s what you kept telling yourself, especially once you started to like it. (One-Shot)

Blow Sweet and Thick by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky x Reader — Bucky is having a bad day, you can help him feel good. (Part of Mafia Monday’s)

Run To You by @bestofbucky » Mob!Boss Bucky x Reader — Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard. (Series)

Can’t Run, Can’t Hide by @angrythingstarlight » Dark!MafiaBucky Barnes x Reader — When you get noticed by the infamous mob boss, you flee. But Bucky doesn’t like to be denied anything and he’s coming for you. (One-shot)

Six Feet | Ch.1 ⚰️ Ch.2 by @queenoftheworldisdead » Dark Mob!Steve x Reader + Dark Mob!Bucky x Reader — Your family’s small funeral home comes into financial trouble. In desperation your father finds the most unlikely solution to solve his financial problems. | (Short Series)

Bankrupt by @mypoisonedvine » dark!40’s!Mob!Stucky x Reader — Your husband’s gambling addiction quickly got him in hot water with the mob, and you by extension. When some debt collectors come by to settle what is owed, you realize that you have a lot more to worry about than money problems.

Partition by @angrythingstarlight » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky comforts you after a bad day, and your boss learns why no one messes with his girl. —> Part 2: Let Me Show You — You wanted to know what your mobster boyfriend did, lucky for you he’s more into the show then tell.

Say the word and it’s yours by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mobster boyfriend rescues you from a long, boring day at work. Bucky always said, “ask and its yours”

Lost Without You by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky Barnes would be lost with you. You’re his everything and he plans on spending Valentine’s Day proving it to you.

All Dressed In White by @angrythingstarlight » Dark!Mafia Bucky Barnes x Reader — You were going to marry someone else, Bucky won’t let that happen. You belong to him now and forever. Till Death Do You Part.

Thick As Thieves by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Mafia!Steve Rogers — The only thing the Mafia hates as much as snitches are thieves. And you’re planning on stealing from Bucky and Steve, what happens if you get caught?

Won’t Let You Go by @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay » Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC!Kori — Kori met Bucky in one of his clubs, out to get shit-faced with a couple of friends to forget about her worries and maybe take home a guy to further rid herself of her numerous frustrations. Little did she know that the one-night stand with Bucky would turn into so much more than that.

Tell Me What You Want by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve Rogers x Reader; Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mob boyfriend, is none other than Steve Rogers and he is willing to get you whatever you wanted, all you have to do is ask. And be careful what you ask for because he’s going to give it to you over and over again.

To Have & To Hold by @slyyywriting » Bucky Barnes x Mob Boss!Reader — Bucky is trying his best to provide and care for his daughter who just entered first grade. Everything was alright until she asks why everyone else seems to have a mom except for her. You’re just a plain mob boss who wants to turn a new leaf. Challenges arise when the world refuses to let you take a softer, non-violent route. A little girl helps you navigate a compromise.(series)

✨ Mob!Sugar Daddy!Stucky Moodboard by @brattycherubwrites » Mob!Stucky x Reader

✨ Laced Around Your Throat by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve x Reader, Mafia!Bucky x Reader — Your Mob boyfriend knows that the only thing that looks even better than his hand around your throat is his custom made necklace. You’re his girl and the world needs to know it.

✨ Hidden Gems by @jtargaryen18 » Mob!Steve Rogers x Mob!Daughter Reader — Your father is the head of one of the most powerful crime families in Boston but he’s protected you from that life. In your quiet home outside the city, you’ve been cared for and protected. When the desires of a more powerful man with the will to dominate bursts into your life, all your illusions are shattered as he comes to claim what is his.

Necessary Arrangements by @stargazingfangirl18 » Andy Barber x Fem!Reader, Ari Levinson x (Different) Fem! Reader ft. Ransom Drysdale » One of my favorite series, chapters are decent sized and the smut is so good!

Hugs My Love by @thatfuckingweirdo » Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Reader — You just really need a hug, and Bucky is the only one you want it from.

my old man is a tough man, but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam by @cloudystevie » Mob Boss!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader — steve gives you what you want… kind of.

Brooklyn Wars by @world-of-aus » Stucky x Reader

Petals and Bullets by @revengingbarnes » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader (One of my all time favorites series)

I would check out @sinner-as-saint’s Masterlist they have quite a few Mob!Bucky series and one-shots that I have loved in the past.

Special by @buckycuddlebuddy » Bucky Barnes x Reader — this one-shot is really hot.

Love, Honor, and Obey by @constantwriter85 » Bucky Barnes — This one is good and I need to catch up on.

Mafioso by @captain-barnes-writes » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Please do yourself a favor and read.

Lipstick and Crayons by @oneoftheprettynerds » Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader - In Progress

A really good DarkMob!Steve Drabble called Please Hurt Me by @gotnofucks *chefs kiss*

The Mobster’s Little Girl by @smutsonian » Steve Rogers x Reader

off to the races 🐻 off to the races 2 by @harryspet » Soft!Dark Steve Rogers x Reader

The Ignorant Beauty & the Beast by @mysterioh » Steve Rogers x Reader – With 21 parts sadly it hasn’t been updated in 8 months, it’s one of my favorite Mob!Steve Roger fics out there. *Thanks to @inactivewhore I found out this story was moved to AO3 and is now called where angels fear to tread it was last updated on 13/11/20*

What It Takes by @cherienymphe » Bucky Barnes x Reader — You left Bucky once you found out who he really is. The one thing you thought would guarantee your safety ends up sealing your fate.

Welcome Home by @punani » Chris Evans x Black!Reader — He’s been away for awhile, but he knows that his girl’s loyalty to him knows no bounds. Knows she’s been waiting for him after her adamancy in telling him there was no other option. It’s only right to make the reunion a memorable one. | So, so, so, so freaking good!

These are what I found on Tumblr that I plan on reading.

Handmaid by @extremelyblackandwhite » Sebastian Stan x ingenue!Reader — y/n works as a handmaid for the daughter of an influential mob leader who is promised to the new boss of the most powerful mob family in new york, sebastian.

AO3 Website Reccomendations

Satellite Heart » Stucky x Reader — You used to be Steve and Bucky's girl. Then they fucking left without saying goodbye. Little did they know, you were pregnant. But life went on. You raised your Talia to the best of your ability. But one day, everything goes to shit. Now your boys are back in your life. And they're not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Little Fox A/B/O Series » Soft!Dark Bucky Barnes x Soft!Dark Natasha Romanoff x OFC! & Peter Parker x Soft!Dark Tony Stark — So I can’t stress this enough you need to read the tags for this series and I kept getting confused as I read this story as to how old Violet Mason is. But this series takes you on a roller coaster, I like it, my cousin didn’t finish it, I need to catch up.

Pelmeni *finished* » Stucky x Reader — James Bucky Barnes has a good life, as a member of a powerful organized crime syndicate. His best friend Steve is a member too and his literal partner in crime. Bucky's got a problem though. You. His longtime love and secret girlfriend. Unfortunately, your father is his boss and has plans for you that involve normal life. Steve has a problem too. Steve wants in on your relationship and more than the semi-regular/occasional steamy threesomes. You don't have a problem, you're just busy with a big mob wedding coming up, which means a big celebration, that you're busy catering for.

Dying For This Love » Dark!Bucky x Reader — That was before. When you were Bucky’s girl. Now, you have a score to settle. That’s why you’re wearing Bucky’s favorite red satin dress, the one with the cuts that reach right up to the tops of your thighs, the tennis necklace he gifted you for your anniversary, and are fresh off of a mani/pedi and hair appointment. He’s going to regret the day he fucked with you. | This one is intense and a tad bit dark, but the smut is good.

off to the races » Steve Rogers x Reader — In which you call the kingpin your Daddy.

The Mobster’s Little Girl » Steve Rogers x Reader — what happens when the big bad mobster gets blackmailed by your father to marry you? (kind of fluffy kind of not. kinda dark kinda not.)

Brooklyn Sweethearts » Dark!Stucky x Reader — Bucky and Steve had always been meant to keep her safe and happy. As far as anyone else was concerned, that was their sole reason for being alive. Unfortunately, the things that kept her safe were not always the things that kept her happy. Lately, she was making it pretty damn hard for them to compromise. | Probably one of my all time favorite Mafia!Stucky stories I have ever read, just sadly it also hasn’t been updated in like 8 months and I keep hoping it will get updated.

Hot Doll » Skinny!MobBoss Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve Rogers is on the rise in the New York underground as you’re trying to keep your own place there. | Dark and good!

Doctor Doctor » Steve Rogers x PlusSize! Reader — (1940 Mobster AU!) You're a war widow down on her luck; and the King of Brooklyn, Steve Rogers, takes notice. | Another one of my favorites. A little bit dark as well.

The Widow » Dark!MobBoss x Reader — It’s the 1920s and everyone’s having a roaring time but you. | Trust me it’s just dark enough.

Those are just some on AO3, I would just go through Mafia AU tag and go to filter and click Avengers or Captain America.

[cjsinkythoughts]

It’s All in the Perspective

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4491

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Gun Violence, Minor Character Injury, A Peek at Angry Bucky, Explosions (if that’s a warning), Mentions of Stevie (I really miss him, guys)

A/N: So! Here it is! Part 4.3! After long hours of laboring and slaving away - kidding, kidding. I had a bit of trouble with this part, not gonna lie, because there’s a lot of feelings I wanted to try explaining. To do that, there’s a little sort of twist at the end that, once I decided to put in, made the chapter much smoother to write. I wasn’t happy with it at first, but now I’m satisfied.

There’s a lot of things happening in this one; it’s longer than I had anticipated because of the little snippet at the end I added. It’s got a few scene-for-scene things, but I kinda blew past it just to get to the characters’ emotions and stuff. Plus writing action like the shipping yard scene is hard when you’re not focusing entirely on that scene, which I wasn’t.

You’ll notice that the last little bit with Ayo (the Wakandan) isn’t in this. That’s because I couldn’t really find a way to fit it in and I’m assuming it will fit in better with next week’s episode.

Not beta’d, so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you wonderful people for reading and commenting! I enjoy hearing your opinions and what you like about the show and the series! Enjoy the final Part for Episode 3 and stay tuned for an announcement tomorrow about the One Shots I’ll be doing in relation to this series!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

You and Bucky kept sneaking glances at each other as you walked through the dock, weaving between the different colored shipping containers with Sharon leading the way. Every time you caught his eye, his ears turned red and he looked away, scanning your surroundings. Not that you were any better, immediately turning away when he turned your way.

You almost kissed him. Fuck. You couldn’t let that happen. He was your friend. Your teammate. He was the best friend to the man you fell in love with, who just so happened to be your best friend. Your best friend who left you. Your best friend who you promised you would watch out for Bucky. 

Bucky…who you also fell in love with. Whether or not it was because of Steve, the fact of the matter was: you loved him. You loved both of them. And you’d never loved anyone like that before. And one left. And the other was trying to navigate through his shitty life. And you weren’t any better. Which is why, you decided in that moment, that no matter how much you wanted to - and holy shit did you want to - you wouldn’t pursue. 

Yet. Maybe. Ugh! When did feelings become so complicated?!

When you started having them.

You silently grumbled to yourself, shaking your head clear. You had to focus and be in the moment. Now was not the time to sort out what to do about the suddenly rising emotions towards the cerulean eyed brunette currently burning with you with a gaze you refused to return.

“Alright.” Sharon stopped, making the group stop as well. “He’s in there. Container 4261. I’ll keep an eye out while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry; we’re on borrowed time.”

You each grabbed one of the earpieces she held in her palm, slipping it comfortably in your ear. “I’ll stay back with you.” Sharon went to talk, but you cut her off. “I’d feel better knowing it’s not just you out here.”

She pursed her lips, before nodding. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

“Doll-”

“I’ll be fine, Buck.” You insisted, checking your gun to make sure it was loaded. Bucky stayed quiet, nodding in begrudging acceptance.

You and Sharon headed off as the boys went towards the storage unit. “Just like old times, huh?” Sharon raised an eyebrow at you.

You grinned, shoving your gun in the thigh holster she let you borrow. “Let the good times roll, babe.”

“Absolutely.” Sharon winked, before you two split up to cover more ground. It wasn’t long before Sharon announced company and you took off sprinting in her direction.

You got to her just as more thugs approached her from behind, immediately lunging into action.

“Hey, so, we never finished that conversation!”

You grunted as you roundhouse kicked a guy, hooking your knee over his shoulder and pulling him to the ground by the neck “Really?! You wanna do that now?!”

“Sure! I’m not too busy!”

You rolled your eyes at her reply, seeing her knock a guy unconscious before she turned around to knee another one in the face. “What were we talking about?”

“Why’re you holding back?”

“It’s complicated!” You elbowed a guy in the ribs, flipping him over your shoulder and twisting his arm till a sickening crack sounded.

“Because of Steve?!”

“Yes - no! Kind of!” 

Sharon was on the floor choking a guy out as you slammed a guy’s head into a shipping container, pushing him at another guy. “You loved him didn’t you?! And I mean, like in love with him!”

“Who?!” You laced your fingers around the back of his head and brought his face down onto his knee.

“Director Fury!” You gave her a look which she snorted at. “Steve, you dumbass! Who else?!”

“Yeah! No shit I was in love with him!” You ran up the side of a storage unit to do a backflip and land on some guy’s shoulders, choking him out. Before he fell, you rolled off, tripping a guy in the process and elbowing his throat.

“Well at least you’re admitting it now!”

You were hit in the back of the head, thrown into a wrestle with another guy on the ground. You bit his hand, making him cry out, before you headbutted him. 

“You couldn’t even hear his name without having to remind people you were ‘just friends’!”

“We were just friends, Share! You know that!”

You heard her shoot of a gun a few times as you smacked someone in the back of the head with the butt of your gun, trying to save ammo. “You really never did anything about it?!”

“No!”

She glanced at you incredulously from across the way, bodies now littering the ground. “And you don’t regret that?”

“No.” You sighed at her look, relenting. “Yes. Kind of. I dunno. I mean…he’s happy with his decision, and for me that’s enough.”

“But doesn’t it hurt?”

“Of course it hurts. It hurts like hell. But-”

“But you still have him so it’s all good.”

You bit your lip, shrugging. “Something like that.”

Sharon tilted her head, confused. “So why don’t you tell him?”

“I dunno. I don’t think either of us is ready.”

“C’mon. I saw you two earlier. You should’ve just kissed him.”

Rolling your eyes, you frowned when you noticed something missing. “Ah shit. My ear piece. It must’ve fallen out earlier.” You looked around, but Sharon stopped you, nodding her head between a couple shipping containers. 

“Don’t worry about it. Mine broke a little while ago, too. Let’s go get the guys. Tell them we need to leave.”

You nodded and started running with her to the unit Nagel’s lab was in. You followed her around the corner, only to widen your eyes and shove her out of the way. Two gunshots rang out, Sharon catching the guy right between the eyes, while the man’s bullet grazed your shoulder.

“Ow, fuck.” You hissed, hand immediately going up to clamp your wound.

“Dammit! You shouldn’t have done that, you idiot!”

You gave her a look. “You’re welcome.”

Rolling her eyes, she quickly tore off part of your shirt. “Hey!”

“First off, this is my shirt. Second, I’m just making it more of a crop top. Third, it’s your own fault, so quit your whining.”

“Touchy touchy.” You grumbled, wincing when she tied it around your arm.

“Just come on. And hey,” she turned to you as she sprinted with your wrist in her hold. “My advice? Don’t wait. Seriously. I know it must be weird, the whole he’s his best friend, he was your best friend, now he’s your best friend, thing you’ve got going on, but there’s nothing else stopping you. Steve made his choice. And he’d be fine with whatever you choose as long as you’re happy.”

You shook your head. “But Bucky’s still healing-”

“So? He’s already been on dates. I think you’re just using that as an excuse to protect your heart from hurting again. Trust me; Barnes isn’t going anywhere.”

Not able to respond since you were making your way to the guys in Nagel’s lab, you bit your lip, hating that she got the last say in the conversation. She definitely planned it so she would. “We’re outta time, fellas.”

As if things couldn’t get worse Zemo - that fucking snake, you knew he was gonna do something stupid - took out a gun he got from who knows where. You sure as hell didn’t let him have a gun. Before you could stop him, he shot Nagel, your best, your only, lead.

“Goddammit!” You growled as Sam and Sharon restrained him. “You fucking-”

The explosion came next, again happening faster than you could react. Bucky grabbed you and pulled you underneath him, covering you with his body as glass and metal flew around you. With ringing ears, you groaned, squinting your eyes open.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You were vaguely aware of the alarms going off, a red light blinking behind Bucky’s head. You nodded, his worried eyes softening just slightly at your response. “We gotta get out-”

“I know, I know. C’mon.” He helped you up, eyes catching sight of the makeshift bandage on your arm. “Dammit, what did you do?”

“I’m fine.” You pushed his hands off. “Go help Sharon. We’ve gotta move. Now.” He huffed, but nodded and moved over to get Sharon. You tried to see where Zemo went through the smoke, but he was already gone.

You four made it just before the whole thing combusted due to the chemicals in the lab. So much for any evidence or leads.

The moment you got out, you were thrust into a gunfight, rolling your eyes as Bucky and Sam, once again, did their own thing.

“Are they always like this?”

“Usually it’s worse. Wait until they start arguing about who was right.” Sharon gave you an unamused look to which you nodded at, ducking when a bullet whizzed by you. “I know. It’s so annoying.”

Sure enough, when Bucky ran out of bullets, the bickering commenced, making you huff and Sharon shout at them. “Are they serious?”

You shot a few more bullets before your gun started clicking. “Dammit. Unfortunately.”

“I’m out!”

“Me too!”

Another explosion and a person you couldn’t see clearly through the haze caused a distraction for you guys to get away, Sam practically shoving you and Sharon into an open shipping container as Bucky took care of a couple more bounty hunters.

“What happened? Both of your comms went out.” Bucky growled once he came in behind you, grabbing your forearm to study your wound.

“It’s just a graze. Chill your ass down. I lost my earpiece and Sharon’s broke.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed, his voice low with warning. “What. Happened.”

“We rounded a corner, the guy was there. I shoved Sharon, he shot, she shot, I got hit, he’s now dead. Happy?”

“You promised.” He snapped, finger tightening on your arm. “You said you’d save yourself first.”

“Buck, let go.” Grabbing his wrist, you tugged a bit, wincing slightly. “Seriously. Stop. That hurts.”

He blinked, his features slacking and his fingers immediately dropping your arm. “Doll, I-I…fuck.” He turned to go punch through the back wall to get out of the unit you were in.

Before you could respond and tell him it was fine, the Baron himself drove up in a slick blue convertible. You groaned at Bucky’s response to Zemo. “We need him.” God, you were getting tired of hearing that.

“You’re lucky I don’t bash your head in.” You growled at him. 

“If you try that shit again-”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Sam raised an eyebrow when Bucky got into the passenger’s seat with no hesitation, looking at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but you shrugged and slipped into the back with Sam. Bucky and you always took the back seat. You had ever since the dumb little blue car Steve got.

You hugged Sharon in parting, knowing she couldn’t come with. “Hey.” She looked at you sternly. “Take a leap.”

“We’ll see.” You told her, sitting down and buckling.

“Do better than that, Y/L/N. And get me that pardon you promised me.” She told Sam, pointing at him..

“Thanks for everything.” She nodded, before jogging off in the opposite direction you’d be heading. Sam turned back to the front, an annoyed expression crossing his face. “You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?”

“No.”

You snickered as Sam shot you a glare, Zemo starting to drive the car out of the shipping yard, away from the chaos.

****************

You collapsed onto the seat in front of Bucky, leaning onto the knee he had propped up against the back. He glanced up at you, face blank, before looking back down at his metal hand he was cleaning.

“Here. Let me see-”

“I got it.” He grumbled, shifting away from where your hands reached for his.

Your eyes widened, stunned at his reaction. “Bucky, just let me-”

“I said no, Y/N.” Your name. Again. You can’t remember him calling you ‘doll’ since before the shipping yard explosion.

“Are you okay?” He merely grunted. You straightened off his leg, swatting his knees with the back of your hand. “Hey.”

He shifted again, planting his feet on the floor. “Stop.”

“No.”

He shot you a warning glare. “Y/N-”

“Stop calling me that.”

“It’s your name, isn’t it?”

“What is wrong with you?” You scrunched up your features in confusion and concern. “Is this about my arm? I told you it’s fine.” You got no response except his eye flickering to your now properly bandaged shoulder. “Why are you acting so weird?”

He shrugged. “I’m not.”

You scoffed in disbelief, jaw dropping. “You’re not.”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” You stood up, brushing your legs off, the bare skin having splotches and smears of dirt and dust. “If you wanna be like that, go ahead. Brood. Be a child. When you’re ready to talk to me about whatever the hell is bothering you, like an adult, I’ll be in the back room.”

You only took two steps before he called out for you. “Doll.” You turned around, an expectant look on your features as you crossed your arms, shifting your weight to one foot. He looked up at you nervously, before looking down and picking at the metal plates of his hand. “I got scared.”

Your features softened, your head tilting gently. “Scared?”

“When you stopped talking. You and Sharon…you were talking. But both of your comms went down around the same time and I…it scared me. I-I don’t get scared anymore. Not the way I did when your voice stopped. I didn’t mean to hurt you…” His voice got quieter at the last sentence, his eyes looking to the purple handprint on your forearm.

“It was an accident, Buck.” You reassured him, settling back down in front of him. “It’s fine. You were still reeling it in from the bar. I know it’s hard for you to judge your strength like that. Steve had problems like that too.” You looked down at the rag he was holding, putting your hand out.

He licked his lips, before handing you the rag. You got off the couch to shift so you were sitting between his legs, his chest to your back. Holding his metallic hand between both of yours, you set to work, gingerly wiping away the grime, picking at the filth that wedged itself between the plates.

“He,” you chuckled, shaking your head at the moment you were remembering. “He accidentally gave me a concussion once when we were sparring. At first it was awesome; he got me my favorite take out and took me to the movies and all that. But then he just started getting annoying. Wouldn’t even let me reach for the TV remote on the coffee table a yard away.”

“Can I ask you something?” You hummed, tilting your head slightly when you felt his chin hooking on your shoulder, giving him more room. “How long did you love him?”

Freezing, you raised an eyebrow and turned to face him. “What?”

“You and Sharon. When you were talking…your comms were on.”

“How-” You swallowed thickly, a lump suddenly forming in the back of your throat. “How much did you hear?”

“Yours went out right after you admitted you were in love with him. Hers went out after you said you were just friends.”

Holding in a sigh of relief, you went back to cleaning his hand. “I don’t really know exactly when it happened. After the Battle of New York, maybe. So 2012, I guess? I dunno. I was getting up from falling for him, though. A few years later.”

“Was?”

“I - yeah. I kind of…fell again.”

He hummed, leaning back, taking his chin off your shoulder and unwinding his arm from your waist. “He’s an easy person to fall for. Hell, I’m pretty sure I had a crush on him once upon a time.”

You chuckled at that, raising an eyebrow over your shoulder at him. “I never said I fell for him again. But, yeah. You’re right.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “You like someone else?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Oh…” He cleared his throat as you went back to his hand. “Uh…so you don’t still love him? Steve, I mean?”

“He was the first person I really loved, Bucky. A part of me will always love him.”

Bucky fingers twitched in your hold, the fingers on his other hand tapping against his thigh. “You know…he loved you too.”

You sighed, closing your eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“It’s true-”

“He left, James. If he loved me, why would he leave?”

You could feel his hesitation as his next words left his lips. “I-I dunno.” That was a lie. You could hear it in his voice. If there was one person Steve trusted more than you, it was Bucky. Of course he knew.

“Listen, I really don’t want to talk about this-”

“It’s in the notebook.” You bit your lip as Bucky shifted, pulling out the little notebook from his pocket. “He made lists - he liked lists. He made lists of things you said that made him laugh. Songs that reminded him of you. Little quirks you do that he noticed over the years. He missed you every time you went on a mission and prayed you’d get back safely.”

“James, please-”

“He didn’t want me to let you know. But I had to tell you. You have to know. He loved you.”

You let out a shaky breath as he placed the book on your thigh. You stared at it for a moment, before grabbing it and placing it in his left hand, closing his fingers around it and standing up. “I think…I’m gonna go rest for a bit in the back room. Holler if you need me.”

You didn’t wait for a response, moving quickly to the small back room of the plane which you got dressed in only a couple days ago. It only had one arm chair and instead of a door there was a curtain, but you were fine with that, plopping down in the chair and reclining.

Why? Why would he bring that up? Did he hear more than he said? Was he trying to let you down easy before you could even tell him how you felt? Did he get spooked after dancing? After the almost-kiss?

You never thought of Steve in the wrong. After all he’d done for the world in his life, he deserved to be selfish - to be happy. And Peggy gave him that. But why? Why would he leave if he loved you so dearly? If he really did what Bucky said? He wouldn’t. He’s not cruel. He wouldn’t up and leave, without even saying goodbye, knowing how deeply you loved him and feeling the same about you. This was Steven Grant Rogers for crying out loud! He wouldn’t…right?

But Bucky…he wouldn’t lie to you. He wouldn’t tell you that, especially knowing how much you missed the lovable blonde. And you knew his words held at least some truth. Actions spoke louder than words, and as something Bucky said repeated itself in your mind, you started slipping into a memory, your eyes shutting and your breaths evening out.

“He missed you every time you went on a mission and prayed you’d get back safely.”

~

The incessant knocking made you groan, shouting that you were coming and mumbling curses. You barely threw open the door before his worried voice hit your ears. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

“Stevie.” You sighed, rubbing your eyes and looking over at the clock on the wall. “Bubs…it’s two in the morning. I just got back, like, an hour ago.”

He shuffled, pink lips in a pout, eyes round and distressed. “I know, honey. I know. I’m sorry. But I heard you got hurt-”

You shook your head, a small giggle of amusement leaving your lips and you lifted your right hand, letting him see the black split holding your ring and pinky fingers. “I jammed my fingers in a door. The doc said I’ll be fully healed in a month at most.”

His eyes darted across your face and down your body, scanning for any more injuries. After glancing at your hands again, they finally landed on your eyes once more. Next thing you knew, you were being held against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck. You hummed softly, running your fingers down his spine, moving the two of you deeper into your apartment so you could shut the door.

“Don’t ever do that again. I gotta have faith in something and if you come home hurt, it’ll be crushed.”

Your eyebrows knit together. At his strange wording. “What’s that mean?”

“It means you have to promise me you’ll stay safe, honey.” He pulled back and held your face between his hands. “Please.”

“I can promise I’ll try my best.” You teased lightly, smiling at him and booping his nose, making him grin, although it was strained. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? We’ll turn on some TV in my room and you can keep me safe while I get much needed sleep.”

That made his grin relax into a real one, his head nodding in agreement. “Sounds perfect.”

“C’mon, bubs.” You took his hand, leading him to your room. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and you’ll catch some zzzz’s too.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“What the hell was that?”

Bucky turned to Sam, who was gaping at him in utter disbelief, looking from the assassin to the doorway Y/N just walked through. “She needed to know.”

“Buck, she’s been dealing with some shit. And we both know something’s going on that she isn’t telling us. Her “zoning out” isn’t just zoning out, and we know that. She doesn’t need you confusing her even more.”

“Confusing her?”

Sam blinked, his troubled expression falling into a deadpan. “Are you fucking with me? No. There’s no way you’re that naive. Seriously?! Man, c’mon!”

Bucky scrunched up his face. “What?”

“She likes you, man! Everyone knows it!”

The brunette shook his head, forehead creased. “No. No, you heard her, Sam. She’s in love with Steve.”

“Was in love. As in past tense.”

“But-but she said- she likes someone else-”

“Barnes!” Sam threw his hands up, exasperated. “You are someone else!”

“I thought you two were already-”

Bucky pointed warningly at Zemo. “Watch it. Wait, wait-” He turned back to Sam. “But I heard her-”

“Bucky…man…” Sam sighed, shaking his head. “Listen, I can’t tell you everything. I’m not about to break my girl’s trust like that. But you gotta hear me when I tell you she likes you. What do you think almost happened at the party?”

“She - I - it was…an accident?”

Sam spluttered, eyes wide. “An accident? You two grinding and nearly making out was an accident?!”

“Woah! We were not…grinding-”

Zemo hummed. “Hmm…you kind of were.”

Bucky glared at him. “Thin. Fucking. Ice.” He whipped back to Sam. “I just remind her of him.”

“What?! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You remind her of Steve? Yes, granted your both dumbasses, but she knows both of you enough to know there’s quite a few big differences.”

“Wilson-”

Sam held up his hand, shutting Bucky up. “You like her. Yes or no.”

Bucky huffed, looking down at the hand she was holding only minutes ago. “Yes.” He finally relented. “Since the first couple months in Wakanda.”

“Steve liked her. Yes or no.”

He ran a hand through his hair, nodding his head. “Yes. Yes he liked her. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“So explain something to me.” Sam crossed his arms. “Why is it that Steve isn’t here, and you are?”

Bucky crossed his arms, brooding - although he’d never admit it - while staring out the window. “Steve…knew. I liked her. And, yes, he loved her, but he also loved Peggy. So he…”

“He told you to take your chance with Y/N, and he went back to be with his first love.”

HYDRA’s former fist nodded with a sigh. “Something like that.”

“You need to tell her.”

“I can’t.”

Sam groaned. “Why not?!”

“Because!” Bucky took a breath, trying not to shout and alert the sleeping girl in the room over, his ears tuning into her slowed heartbeat to make sure she was okay. “Because Steve has her heart, Sam. The whole thing just…I’m jealous of him. Because he got her first. And then I get mad because he didn’t do shit about it. And then I feel guilty because all the shit he put up with for me and here I am complaining…and then I just get…depressed because he’s not here. I used to be the one who fixed his problems. But after I got out…he’s been the one fixing mine. And I just…I don’t know what to do.”

Sam shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I get it. That’s valid. But stop whining and moping around about it. It happened. And you need to get your shit together. If not for your sake, for hers. Because she lost him too. And she’s probably feeling those exact same feelings.”

“But…she’s his girl-”

“No. She’s not. He made his choice.” Sam nodded towards Bucky. “Now you gotta make yours,  Buckaroo.”

He shot him a glare. “You can’t call me that.”

“Why not? Y/N calls you that.”

“Y/N has a plan.”

“We both know that’s not true, Buckaroo. Hey! That one rhymed!”

Bucky shook his head with a scowl. “I will beat your ass, Wilson.”

Sam scoffed, shoving Bucky’s head playfully. “Stop being a dumbass and tell her. Buckaroo.”

“That’s it!”

Bucky tackled Sam to the ground, Zemo giving them an amused expression before leaving to talk to Oeznik. They were so wrapped up in their wrestling session, they didn’t notice the woman leaning against the wall, tired eyes barely opened as her eyebrows raised, unimpressed.

“Are you fellas done?’

They both stopped, shooting up when they noticed her. “Doll, I-”

She shook her head. “Don’t, Buck. Not right now. I’m just really tired.”

“Did we wake you?” Sam winced.

She shook her head again, yawning. “No. I just needed to use the restroom.”

Bucky couldn’t help the small smile as she rubbed her eyes, stretching her arms overhead, making that ripped crop top ride higher up. She was too cute. And she didn’t even realize it.

“Sleep well, doll. We’ll try to keep it down.”

She nodded, turning and waving over her shoulder. “You two try getting sleep, too, alright? Goodnight, Sammy.”

“Night, cher.”

“Sweetheart?” She peeked through the curtain, tilting her head slightly. “You know I love you, right?”

A small smile quirked up her lips, but it was sadder than the ones his question usually elicited. “As long as you know I love you.”

He nodded, returning the half-smile. “G’night, doll.”

“Goodnight, Buckaroo.”

[dreamwritesimagines]

Enamored [28] - Friends

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback my loves, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please let me know what you think, thank you! ❤ And as always, thank you @theskytraveler for helping me with the chapter and the story❤

Summary: Rebuilding a friendship requires effort.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules.

Word Count: 5100

Series Masterlist

 The wedding retreat had only taken a couple of days for you but it felt as if it had lasted years.

Returning to London after that was interesting for sure. Your brother and your best friend had stayed behind for their honeymoon that was supposed to last a week at Stormview before they would be back and of course now that everyone was back in the city, the rumor mill had started spinning again.

Well.

Not that you would know.

You had taken the decision to stay away from gossip and not read anything about it once again. Though you knew it probably wouldn’t last long, you still hoped it would be longer than before.

After all, you were going strong for five days now.

“I must admit, I have missed London a little,” Aunt Lavinia said at the breakfast table and the Duke pulled his brows together, tilting his head.

“Did you?”

“It’s fun, I keep running into old friends,” she thought for a moment. “Well…friends is a big word for them I suppose. I didn’t like most of them years ago and that apparently hasn’t changed.”

“I wish papa could be here too,” Iona heaved a sigh and Kenneth shrugged his shoulders.

“He has responsibilities back home Iona. Besides, he’s seen here numerous times, it’s not like he is missing anything.”

“Uncle Duncan doesn’t like London?” you asked and Aunt Lavinia shook her head.

“He likes Glasgow more, much like Kenneth,” she said and turned to him. “I still do not know why you changed your mind about spending the rest of the season here by the way. I understand why Iona wanted it but you?”

Kenneth stole a look at you and you tried to control your expression.

“It just sounded like an interesting idea,” Kenneth said and you lifted your tea cup to your lips to hide your grin.

It had to be because of Hugh, because Kenneth wanted to spend the rest of the season closer to Hugh.

“Who have you run into so far?” The Duke asked and Aunt Lavinia waved a hand in the air.

“Lady Oakley…”

“Oh she has an illegitimate grandchild!”

“Y/N.”

“Does she now?” Aunt Lavinia asked, ignoring the Duke. “From?”

“Her son and a kitchen maid,” you answered. “Her son refuses to acknowledge them though.”

“Mm, I knew Priscilla wouldn’t be able to raise a proper gentleman,” Aunt Lavinia said. “I also know the mother of that poet that tried to marry you Y/N. Louisa Sinclair.”

Kenneth repressed a chuckle, while the Duke just looked entertained.

“It is upsetting that he is heartbroken,” Iona mused. “Hopefully his heartbreak does not keep him from writing more poems.”

“Hopefully it does,” you and the Duke said at the same time and you bit down a smile before pushing at the food on your plate.

“And I also met the um..” Aunt Lavinia snapped her fingers. “This season’s diamond, the one your brother almost married.”

“Miriam?” You grimaced. “What is she doing lately?”

“Apparently she got engaged three days ago.”

Your eyes widened. “Miriam got engaged?” you asked. “To whom?”

“Earl Hayward,” The Duke said and you and Iona turned to him.

“Wow, Uncle Percy you know everyone!”

“I just hear things here and there,” The Duke said and you tried to put a face to the name but failed.

“Hayward?” Aunt Lavinia asked. “Any relation to Earl Hayward who was caught with another woman at his wedding breakfast?”

Your jaw dropped. “What?”

“That was his father Lav. He died a couple of years ago.”

“And this Earl Hayward that Miriam is getting married to?” you asked and the Duke shot you a small smile.

“People say he took after his father,” he said. “I doubt they’ll like each other much in that marriage.”

Aunt Lavinia hummed. “It’s beyond me how people willingly get married to people they are not in love with.”

“She’ll be a countess,” Kenneth pointed out. “That seems like a good motivation.”

“Getting a title in exchange for a life in misery?” Aunt Lavinia said. “No. That’s a terrible bargain.”

“But you’re a countess too mama.”

“I would’ve married your father even if he had no titles Iona,” Aunt Lavinia said, making you aww and press your hand to your chest.

It was quite saddening that you were never going to get this, but it still made you happy to see people in love.

“So we’re all meeting at the picnic today?” Aunt Lavinia said and you nodded.

“Absolutely! I just need to go to the modiste with Eloise and since I’m there, I will check on Cecily’s new wardrobe but after that we will join you—Iona, are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”

Iona beamed at you. “Well I do want to actually but I already promised Ken and Lord Trenlove.”

“We will join you at the picnic,” Kenneth added hastily. “Hugh—Lord Trenlove mentioned this place I think Iona will really like, I want to show her there.”

“Percy?” Aunt Lavinia said, making him look up from the newspaper.

“Yes?”

“You’re coming as well.”

“I have things to do Lav.”

“You can do them later!” Aunt Lavinia said, “We’re all going as a family, you don’t have the luxury to lock yourself in your study today. It’s such a beautiful day out there.”

“Yes Uncle Percy, you should enjoy the sun!” Iona said, and the Duke suppressed a smile, heaved a dramatic sigh, then shrugged his shoulders.

“Alright then,” he said. “I suppose I could join for a short amount of time.”

Iona clapped her hands together happily and you and Kenneth grinned at each other while Aunt Lavinia sipped her tea.

“Honestly Percy, you’re such a recluse,” she said. “You’re lucky I’m here.”

“Mm hm, I feel very lucky Lav.”

You checked the clock on the wall, then pushed at your plate and stood up.

“I will see all of you at the park then?” you asked and Iona nodded.

“Yes!”

“Great,” you said and smiled at Kenneth. “Do give Lord Trenlove my best, Kenneth.”

Kenneth’s grin widened and he raised his tea cup as if toasting you, making you giggle before you walked out of the breakfast room.

                                       *

When you got to the Bridgerton house with Lucie, Lady Bridgerton, Francesca, Gregory and Hyacinth were outside but the rest of the family was in the drawing room. Anthony was sitting in an armchair and reading the newspaper but as soon as he caught the sight of you walking into the room he sat up straighter like someone had just pricked him with a needle. Benedict was busy with drawing, Colin was reading Lady Whistledown and Eloise was writing a letter by the table but they all turned to look at Anthony as he jumped on his feet.

“Y/N?”

“Hello everyone,” you smiled slightly and waved, then turned to Eloise. “Are you ready Eloise?”

“Almost, I just need to finish my letter.”

“What’re you…?” Anthony trailed off, staring at you as if he couldn’t believe you were there and Eloise grinned.

“Oh did I forget to tell you?” she asked. “We’re going to go by the modiste, and then have a picnic at the park.”

Colin put the Lady Whistledown issue that he had been reading on the table to grin at you. “Oh well, isn’t that the lady who shoots through London’s marriage market like a comet?”

You grinned back and wiggled your fingers in the air. “Maybe.”

“And destructive as such,” Benedict commented. “Did you reject anyone’s proposal and ruin their dreams of matrimony with you today?”

“It’s not even noon so I haven’t got the chance yet,” you played along, crossing your arms to lean back to the wall and Colin raised the paper in his hand.

“Have you had a chance to read today’s issue?”

You blinked a couple of times. “Colin, I hope you realize what a terrifying sentence that is.”

“She wrote something about you,” Eloise called out, still busy with her letter and you groaned.

“Are you serious?” you asked and walked to Colin to get it from him before your eyes darted over the lines.

“Third paragraph,” Colin said helpfully and you tilted your head.

“It is to this author’s knowledge that Lord Gillingham was very much taken by Lady Y/N after their dance and is now planning on courting her. It seems that there’s another rival to—” you stopped reading as soon as you saw Anthony’s name and lowered the paper but Anthony’s brows pulled into a frown while you heaved a sigh.

“Who even is Lord Gillingham?”

“You literally danced with him at Elias’s engagement ball,” Eloise said and repressed a smile. “After the waltz, if that rings any bells.”

You thought for a moment, and shrugged your shoulders. “Ah.”

“I heard he says he wants to propose and waiting for Elias to come back.”

“Dear God Elias is going to shoot someone by the end of the season, I just hope there will not be a huge injury so that we can get him out faster.”

Anthony scoffed, glaring at the Whistledown issue as if it had personally offended him.

“May I?” he motioned for it and you handed it to him, then went to sit on the couch while he sat back down on the armchair.

“So I take it you’re not going to say yes?” Eloise teased you and you rolled your eyes.

“Well no, I’ve recently decided to become a spinster,” you announced and Anthony’s head shot up from the paper, Eloise finally looked up from her letter and Benedict stopped drawing.

“You?” Eloise said, her voice full of doubt. “You will become a spinster?”

You nodded and Anthony swallowed thickly, then pursed his lips as if he was trying to keep the words in.

“Well, I was actually going to become a nun,” you said. “But apparently I’m too vain for that.”

A silence fell upon the room and you looked around.

“Really? No one is going to disagree?”

“No.”

“Why would we?”

“Sounds like a legitimate reason.”

“Not even you?” you asked Anthony and he shrugged his shoulders.

“You get mad if I lie to you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, then turned to Benedict and Colin who both looked very entertained.

“So yes, I’m going to become a spinster, and go after my calling.”

“Your calling?”

“I have a talent in matchmaking, I’m planning to do that with all this spare time I will have.”

Eloise blinked a couple of times. “You will be a spinster while chasing for love for other people?”

“History is full of people who get couples together but stay unmarried,” you said. “So is literature. Take Shakespeare for example.”

Eloise scoffed. “Yeah, you’re a classic Juliet.”

“Apparently I’m not. I’ll just be…” you waved a hand in the air. “I’ll just be the priest. He was the one who married them after all.”

“He was also the one who got them killed,” Anthony pointed out. “Are you sure that’s your favorite play? Everything you’ve said about it so far just makes me think you didn’t read the ending.”

You rolled your eyes at him and turned to Eloise. “Eloise are you writing a book or a letter?”

“I’m about to be finished,” she said, still scribbling and you walked to take the Whistledown’s paper from Anthony’s hand to take a look at the paragraph again.

“I honestly don’t remember this Lord Gillingham, who is he?”

“Tall—”

“Debatable, he’s not that tall,” Anthony stated before Benedict shook his head.

“Light hair, blue eyes, a lot of ladies find him charming.”

“He’s not charming.”

“He likes working with horses—”

“That’s what he claims.”

“Anthony, do you want to describe him or will you let me?”

“It’s not my fault if you’re giving wrong information.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you interrupted their banter. “I’ve made up my mind, I am to be a spinster.”

“Alright I’m done.” Eloise said and sprinkled some sand on the paper, then blew on it and took it from the table. “We can go.”

“Do you two—um—” Anthony said, standing up again. “You two need a chaperone right?”

“Not really, Lucie is coming with us.”

“My maid is coming with us as well.”

“I can accompany you,” Anthony said in a haste. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Good for you,” you deadpanned and Eloise repressed a smirk before turning to Anthony.

“There’s no need for you to come with us,” she stated and Anthony took a deep breath, shooting her a look.

“Eloise, do you remember that meeting in the city you wanted to attend to? For that book club with the other ladies?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still want to attend that?”

Eloise shot him a grin and turned to you. “On a second thought, he could come with us. You don’t mind, do you Y/N?”

You could feel your heart skip a beat but you shrugged your shoulders. “We will go by the modiste first though.”

“Not a problem, I can wait there.”

Benedict and Colin exchanged glances.

“You know what?” Benedict said. “Let’s all go to the park, that sounds like a good idea. We can stop by the modiste.”

Eloise frowned. “I thought you said—”

“I’ve changed my mind,” Benedict said, stealing a look at Anthony before clearing his throat. “Yeah, let’s all go. Should be fun.”

                                      *

It was such a lovely day that apparently the rest of the ton also had the idea of going to the park to enjoy the pleasant weather. As soon as you got there after the modiste, Penelope and Eloise wanted to go on a boat ride and managed to convince Benedict and Colin to go with them. Iona, Kenneth and Hugh were on another boat but Aunt Lavinia and the Duke said they wouldn’t, seeing that they were swarmed by other people who were trying to talk to them.

Since you got seasick whenever you were on any kind of boat or ship, you had refused to join the rest on the lake, instead you and Lucie went on a stroll around the park. You stopped by the bridge to read the rest of the latest Whistledown issue while Lucie enjoyed the scenery, and it was only when your eyes found a familiar name in the lines that you tilted your head, your brows furrowing.

“I figured I’d find you here.”

Your head shot up from the paper and you turned to look at Anthony whom Lucie was glaring at.

“You didn’t join the others?” you asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Wasn’t in the right spirits I suppose.”

“Are you ever in the right spirits to have fun?” you asked back and he leaned back to the bridge railings, his dark eyes fixed on you while a fond smile played on his lips.

“The urge does strike me from time to time, now that you mention it.”

“And you wait for it to go away?”

“Most of the time, yes,” he said and stole a look at the paper in your hand. “Trying to find more information about Lord Gillingham?”

“I’m trying to catch up,” you said. “I’ve made sure not to read it since I came back and apparently a lot happened—which reminds me, what is a brothel?”

Anthony started coughing all of a sudden while you patiently waited for him to get his breath back and he cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry?”

“What is a brothel?”

“Where did you hear that word?”

You held up the paper. “It says here Pierre was seen leaving a brothel. What’s that?”

Anthony ran a hand over his eyes. “Jesus Christ.”

“Is it some sort of a park?” you asked. “Because if it is, you must tell me where it is.”

“…Why?”

“I don’t want to run into Pierre,” you insisted. “It will be so awkward if I do, so you must tell me what it is and where it is, so that I can avoid it.”

“It’s not a place you’d ever go, Y/N.”

“How do you know?”

“Because…” Anthony trailed off. “You— it’s not an establishment you’d be interested in.”

“Oh it’s not a park of some sort?”

“No. Nor is it in any part of the city you’ve been to.”

“But you know where it is?”

The tips of his ears went pink and he bit inside his cheek, nodding. “Uh huh.”

You tilted your head, curiosity urging you to ask more.

“What happens there?”

“I can’t answer that question.”

“Then I will walk away and find someone else to answer it if you don’t,” you said. “Hugh is still around, so I’m sure—”

“No!” he cut you off. “No. Don’t ask anyone else, least of all Trenlove.”

You raised your brows, looking him in the eye. “Then?”

“It’s a place of…” he trailed off. “Transaction.”

“Like a trade?”

“Mm hm.”

“What do they sell?”

Anthony rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze from you. “Ent—entertainment.”

You frowned. “Entertainment?” you repeated. “Why can’t I go there then? I want to be entertained too!”

“Y/N—”

“You must take me there!”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Well, you don’t have to join if you don’t want to, you can just watch me have fun.”

“Please stop saying that,” he muttered as if he was being tormented and you rolled your eyes.

“I’ll find a way,” you told him and clicked your tongue. “I suppose Pierre is not heartbroken if he is having fun though.”

“Do you want him to be heartbroken?”

“Not really,” you said. “I mean I knew he wouldn’t be terribly heartbroken, I could tell when I turned him down. It’s good that he went to that place to be entertained, perhaps he will find love in someone else.”

“Quite literally.”

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

You pursed your lips, fixing your gaze on the lake while trying to ignore the ton’s glances on you both.

“You know you being here is just going to fuel more rumors?” you asked and he stole a look at you.

“I can leave if you wish.”

You frowned, then shook your head, making that hopeful light appear in his eyes again.

“No?”

“Do you want to leave?” you asked back and he paused for a moment.

“No, but it doesn’t matter,” he said. “I’ll do whatever it is you want me to do.”

You could feel a warmth spreading inside your chest but you forced yourself to ignore it as you turned to look at his handsome face.

“I don’t think avoiding each other will help,” you said slowly. “You’re Elias’s best friend and I’m his sister, so it’s very clear we will see each other a lot.”

His eyes searched your face. “Is that all?”

“What?”

“Is Elias the only thing that connects us?”

No.

No, Elias was not the only thing that connected you. What connected you was your hopeless, endless and naïve love for him.

Even after everything that had happened, you were still completely in love with him, and it wasn’t going to go away, you knew it.

No matter how much you pretended, it wasn’t going to go away, but living with heartbreak was in your blood after all.

Your mother could do it, and now you were going to do it.

You took a deep breath and shrugged your shoulders.

“Regardless of what connects us, I think we can become friends in time.”

And surprisingly enough, that hopeful light in his eyes didn’t disappear. It was as if that was still an improvement for him, he stared at you before he nodded fervently, a small smile appearing on his face and for the hundredth time you couldn’t help but notice just how irresistible he looked, even more when he was smiling.

“I mean that is if…” you trailed off, trying to bite down a smile. “If our—what was it? Our undeniable attraction doesn’t prove to be challenging for our friendship?”

He blinked a couple of times as if he couldn’t tell whether you were serious or not.

“I’m not the best at proposing as it seems?” he said carefully like trying to test the waters and you raised your brows.

“One could say it was a humbling experience.”

“Humbling?”

“For you,” you pointed out. “Not me. I was just standing there.”

He stared at you but a look of relief crossed his eyes as you shot him a grin, making a bright smile appear pull at his lips. He hesitated for a moment, then cleared his throat.

“Very humbling,” he played along. “Do you have any advice you would be willing to give me to improve?”

You hummed as you caught the sight of Iona, Kenneth and Hugh’s boat coming back to land and Hugh jumped down, and helped Iona out of the boat as well.

“Well, my mother always used to say that it’s a strength to know your weaknesses, so perhaps you should just swear off romance and become a priest like I wanted to become a nun,” you said, making him chuckle.

“Oh that’s your advice?”

You pushed yourself off of the railings you were leaning against, then heaved a dramatic sigh.

“You’re right, it’s not a good advice,” you taunted him. “You wouldn’t make a good priest at all, you’re too vain for that.”

With that, you walked away from him to go to Iona, Kenneth and Hugh, with Lucie following you suit.

                                                        *

Elias and Cecily were supposed to arrive in London before noon but apparently they were going to be late, because their carriage was nowhere to be found in the afternoon. It was a hot day, so Aunt Lavinia wanted to spend time in the backyard while the Duke had shut himself in his study again, claiming he had documents to go over. Kenneth was outside with Hugh and you had decided to join Iona and Aunt Lavinia in the backyard, enjoying their conversation.

“I’m telling you, we must throw a ball when Cecily and Elias comes back,” Aunt Lavinia said, “It will be Cecily’s first ball as a marchioness, and the whole ton is waiting for it already.”

“Oh that would be fun mama,” Iona said, “I wish I brought more gowns with me.”

“Iona we can get them done!” you told her. “We can go to modiste today if you wish, after Cece and Elias arrives. And if you want, you can check my wardrobe as well, I have more than enough ball gowns I haven’t got to wear yet.”

“I’d love that!” Iona said, “I like your gowns, you have amazing taste.”

You pressed a hand over your chest. “Aw Iona, you’re the sweetest.”

Aunt Lavinia’s gaze found someone over your shoulder by the house and turned to you.

“You have a caller as it seems.”

“What? No, the Duke was very clear—” you started as you looked over your shoulder and the second your eyes caught the sight of Anthony descending the marble stairs to the backyard, you felt your heart skip a beat. You stood up from the picnic cloth you were sitting on, and offered him a small smile.

“Lady Ashdown,” Anthony bowed when he reached you. “Lady Iona. Lady Y/N.”

“Viscount.”

“Good afternoon,” Iona said. “It’s lovely to see you again!”

“Lord Bridgerton,” you greeted him as he smiled at you.

“My lady.”

“I wasn’t aware you were coming.”

“Oh I just wanted to drop by to bring my wedding gift and see y— say hello.” he corrected himself, motioning back at the house. “And I thought Elias and Cecily would’ve arrived by now.”

“I thought the same,” you admitted. “They’ll be here at any moment I think.”

Anthony gulped down and stole a look at Aunt Lavinia before turning to you.

“Would you like to walk around the garden while we wait?”

You blinked a couple of times, your heart beat getting faster but you scolded yourself in your mind, then nodded.

“Of course,” you looked around for your fan but realized you hadn’t brought it to the yard, so you grabbed the latest Whistledown paper to fan yourself with in case it got too hot while you were walking. You smoothed down the skirts of your gown, and Aunt Lavinia cleared her throat.

“Walk where I can see you, Y/N,” she said. “Lord Bridgerton, do try to stay away from anything that can break please. We do not want another accident.”

You bit down a smile and the tips of Anthony’s ears got pink before he pursed his lips and nodded.

“Of course Lady Ashdown,” he said with a bow of his head before you both started walking side by side and Anthony rubbed the back of his neck.

“You’d think she would’ve forgotten about that by now.”

“I’m planning on asking her for more embarrassing stories,” you pointed out, making him chuckle.

“Don’t you dare.”

You let out a laugh and looked up at him.

“I didn’t know you got Elias and Cece a wedding gift,” you said. “What is it?”

“A fine china set.”

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully. “No really, what did you get them?”

“I’m serious, I got Cecily a fine china set.”

You pressed the Whistledown paper on your lips just so that you could hide your smile but of course Anthony could tell from your eyes as he shot you a mischievous grin.

“More of a gift to your father rather than Cecily, but…”

A giggle climbed up your chest and you shook your head, then bit on your lips as you fanned yourself with the paper and he stole a look at it, still grinning.

“Anything interesting?”

“Not really. Just that um— Earl Buxton is marrying Lady Tabitha and there’s supposed to be this huge ball for their engagement.”

Anthony hummed. “Finally he asked, I suppose.”

“You know him?”

“From gentlemen’s club. He has been planning to ask her for a month now.”

“Ah,” you said. “A love marriage?”

“Mm hm.”

You let a small smile curl your lips. “So I scored a point then?”

That made him stop dead in his tracks as if he couldn’t believe his ears, that light glimmering in his eyes again as he let out a breath, mirroring your smile. You raised your brows, looking at him in anticipation for his answer.

“…You certainly did,” he managed to say and took a deep breath, trying to pull himself together. “But I’m scoring a point soon as well.”

“You’re that sure of yourself?”

“Lady Miriam and Lord Hayward. Match made in hell.”

Your head shot up. “What makes you say that?”

“I know Hayward.”

You pointed at him with the paper. “You need to tell me everything right now.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Well, Lady Miriam probably chose him because he’s an earl, he chose her because she’s the diamond.”

“And it’s a match made in hell because…?”

“The only reason he’s getting married is because he needs a legitimate heir, but he has a mistress in the ton. That, and Lady Miriam’s dowry I’m guessing.”

You made a face. “Well, she always wanted to have a high title,” you muttered. “I can’t believe if it were up to you, you would’ve supported Elias marrying her.”

He held up his hands. “I saw the light later on.”

“More like I made you see the light.”

His gaze on you was soft and full of fondness.

“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “Yeah you did.”

“We’re back!” Elias’s voice reached you, making both you and Anthony turn your heads and you gasped, then lifted your skirts a little to run at them at full speed before throwing yourself into Elias’s arms. He caught you mid-air and hugged you tight, making you giggle as he laughed.

“Welcome back!”

“No one proposed in my absence, did they?”

“No!” you said as you pulled back and hugged Cecily, making her laugh. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, so much!”

“Elias, I decided to become a spinster!”

“Jesus Christ—”

“Welcome back my dear,” Aunt Lavinia said and Elias beamed at her before hugging Iona, then turned to Anthony.

“It’s okay, you can admit that you missed me,” he said with a grin that Anthony returned before he pulled him into a hug to slap his back.

“Took you long enough.”

“Cece, your wardrobe is only half ready but I will show it to you!” you said, holding her hand to pull her into the house much to Elias’s protests but you paid no mind to them. Cecily giggled, running with you upstairs.

“How was your honeymoon?” you asked her breathlessly as you reached the top of the stairs and she shot you an abashed smile.

“Absolute perfection,” she said and you pulled your brows together.

��Why were you late?”

“We um, we woke up late.”

“Will you tell me—”

“I cannot,” she said, fanning herself as if her face was on fire and you gasped.

“Cece!”

“I will tell you when it’s time for you to get married, deal?”

“Oh I will never get married, I decided to become a spinster,” you said and she ran a hand over her face.

“You’re not serious.”

“I am!”

“And what was Anthony doing here?”

“Well he—” you paused. “Wait a second. Anthony? You never call him by his name, you always call him the rake.”

Cecily shrugged her shoulders.

“Well, he’s Elias’s best friend so I decided to give him another chance,” she said. “So? What is he doing here?”

“He came to bring your wedding gift.”

“That’s all?” she asked. “He didn’t look like he was busy with my wedding gift when we got to the backyard.”

“Oh, we…” you trailed off. “I decided that since I shall be a spinster—”

“You will not.”

“Yes I will— and since he’s Elias’s best friend, we will be seeing each other a lot. So I’ve had a conversation with him the other day.”

Cecily pulled back slightly, her brows furrowing.

“What kind of a conversation?” she asked. “Please tell me he didn’t propose or said something foolish again.”

You shook your head. “No,” you said. “No, I just— I told him that we could become friends in time.”

A smile full of disbelief curled Cecily’s lips and she tilted her head.

“Oh?” she said. “Friends? You and Anthony will be friends?”

“Well, I think I will always be in love with him but I—” You paused before waving a hand in the air.

“Enough about me and my heartbreak,” you said as you held her wrist and pulled her deeper into the hallway. “Let me show you your new gowns, Marchioness Westcliff.”

Chapter 29

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Twenty Six

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends!!

As always, thank you so much for the love on this fic! This chapter is much softer than the last couple, giving our favs a well earned break from what I am putting them through in this story!

Please let me know what you think, your reactions genuinely mean the world to me!

-x-

Words: 3.2k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List and will be updated as we go along.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“I remember when our girl's days started with shopping and then ended in a bar, not the McDonalds in the mall’s food court,” Penelope says, smiling as she pops a fry into her mouth.

Emily chuckles, “It’s in the rules that the pregnant woman gets to choose where we eat.��� 

“That’s true,” JJ chimes in, having a sip of her soda, “I always got to pick when I was having Henry.”

“See,” Emily says turning back to Penelope, “If you want to pick you have to have a baby of your own.”

Penelope visibly shivers, shaking her head, “No thank you, I am more than happy being the cool Aunt to Henry and Nugget.”  

Emily frowns, scrunching up her nose as she smiles at JJ before turning back to Penelope, “Why are you calling my baby ‘Nugget?’”

“Well since you refuse to find out what you are having I’ve had to improvise,” Penelope replies, nodding towards the box of McNuggets in Emily’s hand, “Plus chicken nuggets seem to have become one of your main food groups lately.” 

Emily clears her throat, her cheeks red with embarrassment, “I’ve been craving them.” 

“All I ever wanted to eat when I was pregnant was this one particular taco from Taco Bell,” JJ says sympathetically, smiling wryly, “Poor Will went out to get it for me so many times in the middle of the night.” 

Emily laughs, “Aaron has half-filled our freezer with nuggets, Jack is always delighted when he comes over.” She knew that Aaron was, at best, a few weeks away from hiding vegetables in her food just like he did for his son.

“Did you get everything you needed, Em?” JJ asks, looking at the bags of clothes on the spare chair at their table.

Emily nods in response, “I got a new bra and a couple of pairs of pants,” she says, scrunching her nose up, “None of my actual clothes fit me properly anymore but I’m going to try to put off buying maternity clothes as long as I can.” 

“Just think, before we know it we’ll be throwing your baby shower,” Penelope says, her excitement clear, and Emily chuckles wryly, “Which reminds me, I’ll need your mother’s number so I can contact her about that. I tried looking for it but it’s listed as classified.” 

Not for the first time, she finds herself grateful for the way she was raised, the way she can hold herself together in moments like this. It had been just over a week since she had seen Elizabeth, and it still stung when she thought about it, about how everything had gone south so fast. She was grateful that her mother had, so far, stuck to what she had asked and not contacted her, but it also hurt. An unspoken confirmation from her that she had chosen alcohol over her daughter. Over her grandchild. Despite everything, she still didn’t want anyone else to know, her need to keep it private, even from the people she considered her extended family, overriding anything else. 

She supposed, on some level, it was probably a good thing she’d never seen her mother that often anyway. It would make things less suspicious, but she’s sure questions would come further down the line when the baby arrived. 

When she and Aaron decided to finally get married. 

She twists her engagement ring around her finger and smiles at her friend, “That’s not really her kind of thing,” she says before reaching for her drink and taking a sip before she expertly, switches the conversation “I’m only 17 weeks Pen, let's not wish the time away. There's a lot to do before then,” she finishes her fries and sighs, the salty food taking the edge off of her rising panic for everything she and Aaron needed to organise before the baby was born, “Like finding a place to live.” 

It was a discussion that she and Aaron had started having when they found out she was pregnant. She loved her apartment, it had been her home for longer than anywhere ever had been before, but she knew it wouldn’t be enough for their growing family. Whilst the baby would be sleeping with them for the first few months after they were born, she didn’t want to eventually force Jack to share a bedroom with his sibling when he was with them. 

She wanted a house, a home. Somewhere her kids could grow up and run around together. Somewhere they could get covered in mud in the backyard. Everything she’d watched in the movies when she was young and convinced herself she’d never have herself. Aaron, despite having moved into her apartment less than a year ago, agreed, and part of her wondered why they hadn’t just bought a house then. If she was honest with herself, she knew it was because a part, a very small part, had still wanted some kind of control of the situation. 

“Have you still not found something?” JJ asks, well aware of the difficulty, and stress, of finding somewhere to live when pregnant. 

Emily groans, shaking her head as she places her hand on her stomach, her almost constant indigestion bubbling away, “No. Aaron is insistent on splitting everything down the middle which is insane,” she exclaims, blowing out a breath, “I have all of this money just sitting in my trust fund.”

They’d been disagreeing about it almost as long as they’d been talking about buying a house. She wanted to use her money, to buy them somewhere they could live forever, but Aaron was hesitant. She could never quite figure out if it was incredibly misplaced machoism that made him feel like he had to be the provider, or if he was just uncomfortable with the amount of money she had, or if it was both. 

Either way, it was frustrating, and she knew this was something they would likely run into a lot over the years. 

“And you have how much in that trust fund?” Penelope inquiries, making both Emily and JJ laugh, the question a regular one on every girl's night since she’d first confirmed their suspicions that she had a trust fund at all.

“Pen, if you can’t get that information out of me when I’m drunk, you have no chance when I’m sober.” 

___

Emily sighs as she slumps back on the couch, rubbing her hands over her face as she takes a break from looking at real estate listings. 

“It can’t be that bad,” Aaron says as he sits next to her, handing over the ice cream she’d requested after dinner. She sits up, making Sergio who had been curled up in her lap, his head on her bump, jump up, meowing as he walks away. 

Emily grumbles as she takes the bowl from him, narrowing her eyes as she takes a bite, moaning at the taste of chocolate, “It is almost impossible to find a house that has everything we want within the budget we have.” 

Aaron sighs at the mention of it, familiar dread that what had so far only been a disagreement between them could easily transform into a full-blown argument, “Em-”

“I have the money, Aaron,” she says, placing her bowl of ice cream down on the table in front of them, her appetite for it gone.

“It’s your money, sweetheart.” 

She scoffs, shaking her head at him. “We’re having a kid. We’re going to get married. What happened to ‘what’s mine is yours?’” 

“I don’t know if that applies to literal millions of dollars,” he replies, remembering how he’d had to sit down when she originally told him how much money she had, a fearful glint in her eyes that it would change the way he viewed her. He sighs and places his hand on her thigh, squeezing it gently, “It’s just…I spoke to Dave and-”

“You listened to Dave about this?” She asks incredulously, cutting over him, “He’s been divorced four times, I don’t think he’s exactly the person to go to for relationship advice.”

“Three times,” Aaron corrects, a wry smile on his face, “And he’s the only other rich person I know.”

“I’m richer than him,” she grumbles under her breath as she crosses her arms over her chest. She looks at him and sees the flicker of amusement in his lips, the way his eyebrow arches, and she clears her throat, “Right, not helping,” she sighs, “Why are you so hesitant to do this my way? Is it some macho bullshit that you need to be the provider? Because if it is-”

“No,” he replies, squeezing her leg again, “I promise you it’s not that.” 

She stares at him for a moment, desperately trying to see if he’s lying to her, but she’s satisfied he isn’t and she places her hand over his on her leg, “Then what is it?” 

He doesn’t want to upset her, to make things harder on her than they had been since what small part of the relationship she had left with her mother had collapsed around her, but she deserved the truth. 

“I’ve been divorced once already, sweetheart,” he says carefully, hating himself as her eyes go slightly wider, “I need to be practical. If you buy us a house-”

“It will be our house,” she says, cutting over him, “Not mine. And if anything happened between us,” the thought of it alone makes her breath catch in her throat, “It would still be our house. We’ll have both of our names on the deeds. I wouldn’t just screw you over like that.” 

“I know,” he assures her, squeezing her hand, shaking his head at himself, “Why is this so important to you?”

She sighs, “That money in my trust fund came from my parents, and their parents, and the jobs they chose that meant we were never really a family,” she blows out a shaky breath, the wound from the conversation with her mother the week before still fresh, “And I always told myself that if I got married and had kids I’d use it to buy my family a home, to make something good out of the very thing that made my childhood miserable,” she places her hand on her bump, “For a long time I convinced myself I’d never have this and that I’d end up donating it all to a charity that would make mother furious, like a cat sanctuary or something, but now I do have you and Jack and Nugget.”

“I can’t believe the Nugget thing is catching on,” Aaron says, and she smiles at him, her eyes soft and full of love. She’d told him about their friend's nickname for their unborn child the moment she got home, and the confused look on his face had made her laugh so much she’d started to jokingly use it herself. 

“What can I say, Pen is persuasive,” she replies. She cups his neck, her thumb brushing over his jawline, “Please let me do this for us. If it makes you feel better you can pay all the bills when we do find somewhere, or we can keep this place and rent it out and that can go into an account for the kids, but…just let me do this.” 

He looks at her, and he isn’t sure he’s ever seen her so raw, so torn open. Her honesty a gateway that let him see the parts of her she still hid even from him sometimes. He picks up one of the more expensive listings she’d been looking at, far outside o the budget they’d tentatively agreed on and looks it over. 

“You like this one?” He asks, and she nods, her lower lip in between her teeth as if she was trying to keep her hope contained. It was a beautiful home, a large colonial-style house with a brick facade, the interior was largely open plan on the first floor, with large archways separating the rooms, letting natural light filter throughout the house. The bedrooms and bathrooms were all a decent size, especially the master bedroom and its adjoining ensuite, and there was plenty of space in the backyard for Jack, the baby, and any other kids they may have to run around. 

He finds himself mostly drawn to the huge, immaculately decorated, kitchen and he can picture himself making pancakes on a Sunday morning in there for his family.

“It’s a beautiful house,” he says, smiling at her and raising his eyebrow, “5 bedrooms?” 

She rolls her eyes at the suggestive tone in his voice, hearing exactly what he hadn’t said, and pats his chest, “Easy there tiger, at least let me have this kid before you start thinking about filling up the spare rooms.” 

Aaron chuckles and pulls her in for a kiss, “Let’s go see it.” 

The way her eyes light up tells him he’s made the right call, that putting aside any deep-rooted concerns and misplaced fear about letting her do this for them, for their family, is exactly what he should have done weeks ago when she first brought this up. 

“Really?” She asks, her smile wide, any ability to hide her emotions well and truly lost in the first trimester of her pregnancy. 

“Really,” he confirms, kissing her again, “I can see our family growing up there.” 

She throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly as she kisses him, the action lost in her wide smile, “I love you so fucking much.”

He chuckles and wraps his arms around her, pulling her so she was straddling his waist, her knees on either side of his hips, “I love you too.” 

“I’ll call the agent in the morning.” 

He nods and pulls her in for another kiss, smiling at the feel of her bump pressed up against him. “We won’t be able to do this for much longer,” he says, moving to kiss her cheek and then her neck, “We won’t have room.” 

She pulls back and smiles at him, and she runs her fingers through his hair, “In that case,” she says, leaning in to kiss him again, “We’d better make the most of it before we’re regulated to just the bed.” 

___

Cases with children were always harder. 

The desperation to solve the case, to find the bad guy who was doing the worst of things possible to the most innocent, more intense. She’d always felt great empathy for the parents in these situations, but now she could put herself somewhat in their shoes, her love for Jack, for the baby in her belly, enough to make her feel sick at the mere thought of something happening to them. 

She watches Aaron from her desk, her focus on her paperwork limited at best as she keeps looking through the blinds in his office, desperate to go check on him. She knew he found cases like this harder too. 

There were survivors this time, a little girl and a teenage boy reunited with their parents, the recovery from all that they had endured only just beginning, and that was something they could cling on to. Evidence that they all needed sometimes to remind themselves of why they did this. That didn’t make it any easier, and she knew they’d all remember the wails of one of the victim's fathers when he realised his son had been alive only one day ago. 

She blows out a breath and looks back at her paperwork, determined to get a little more done before they headed home, when she is distracted once again, but this time it wasn’t out of concern for her fiancé. 

It feels like tiny bubbles. Bursting against the inside of her belly, as if tiny butterflies were floating around, their wings delicate. She places her hand on her stomach and gasps, choking on a laugh. 

“Are you ok, Em?” Derek asks and she turns to look at him, nodding as she laughs again. 

“Yeah. I…I think I just felt the baby move for the first time,” she says, her hand still on the bump as she continues to feel the movement on the inside, “It feels weird.”

Derek smiles at her, his eyes soft as he nods towards Aaron’s office, “Go tell Hotch, we all need something good after today.” 

She nods, not needing any other encouragement, and she stands, almost bounding up the stairs as she approaches his office. She knocks on his open door and waits for him to look up. He looks exhausted, the lines in his face deeper than usual, as if they’d been carved in. 

“Do you have a minute?” She asks, and he smiles at her, already standing up from his desk.

“For you, always.”

It makes her smile, and she knows it’s one of the things he’s learnt from his past mistakes with Haley. He always made time for her, and in turn, she knew that was because she understood the job, the work that could sometimes consume them both. It was yet another way that, if she believed in fate, would make her think they were made for each other. 

She takes a seat on the couch in his office and waits for him to sit next to her, his arm automatically around her shoulder. She knew they couldn’t be seen from the main bullpen here, only if someone was on the walkway, but she was sure no one would begrudge them this after the last few days. 

“I just felt the baby move,” she says, her throat closing up as she says it outloud, her hormones getting the better of her as she fights back tears. 

“What?” He asks, his voice full of wonder as he presses his hand into her bump, and it makes her laugh.

“It will be a while before you can feel anything from the outside honey,” she says, resting her head against his shoulder. She feels the movement again, and she smiles, placing her hand over his, “I wish you could feel it though it's amazing. And really fucking weird.” 

Aaron laughs and kisses her temple, keeping his lips against her skin, “Nugget is the size of a pomegranate this week.”

She snickers at his use of the baby’s newfound nickname and pulls back to look at him, “I know, I’m reading the same book as you,” she says softly, “Spencer told me today that the baby weights as much as a mozzarella ball,” she crinkles her brow, her stomach rumbling at the thought of food, “Which, strangely, really made me want Italian food.” 

Aaron kisses her, eternally grateful for her, for the life they were building, “Sweetheart, I’d go to Venice to get you pizza right now if you asked me.”

She chokes on a laugh, but it comes out as more of a sob, her happiness overwhelming in a way she didn’t know was possible. “That’s sweet, but I’m totally content with that place down the street from our apartment.” 

“Whatever you want, Em,” he says, kissing her again, wiping a stray tear from her cheek, “Whatever you want.” 

-x-

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[maddiwrites]

The Hybrid (Prologue)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: The Pogues rekindle their friendship with their old childhood best friend and JJ’s first crush, Y/N. Old feelings resurface for JJ and Y/N, possibly leading to a summer neither one of them could ever forget. Due to past trauma, Y/N is reluctant to let anyone into her heart, but JJ never backs down from a challenge, even if he knows it will come back to haunt him in the end.

Note: So happy to be back with another series!!! I honestly really missed posting. Unlike Secrets of the Shore, updates will be slower because I don’t have them all written out yet. A couple things I wanted to let you know before you read. I based Y/N’s family off of Gilmore Girls. I thought they were the perfect fit for this story and the show in general and I just love their dynamic. (Including Luke who I renamed Steve for obvious reasons). Chapter 1 will explain more obviously but I wanted to give you guys a little snippet of the characters and relationships. So let me know what y'all think!

Word Count: 3.3k

Outer Banks. Paradise on Earth. It's the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses. Two tribes, one island. As you know, the Outer Banks is essentially divided into two groups. If we want to be blunt - it’s the rich and the poor. Figure Eight is home to the rich. Aka the Kooks. With houses bigger than necessary with extra rooms that go untouched, boats the size of homes on the Cut - the other side of the island. Most people who live on Figure Eight are your naturally raised assholes. People who don’t know the value of a dollar and take advantage of people who do most of their dirty work that lets them prance around the island with perfectly manicured fingernails. These hard workers are the Pogues. They live on the south side of the island where most Kooks wouldn’t be found dead. They serve fancy meals at the country club for shitty tips, mow lawns, and work their asses off at any other job for minimum wage. The drastic difference in lifestyles tend to cause many spats and arguments between the two communities. Especially between the teenagers who still don’t know how to control their raging emotions or know when to bite back their tongue. For the Kooks, every fight is a fight for dominance where as the Pogues fight for equality - to put the Kooks in their place. Many of these fights happen at summer parties where the two groups clash to find a good time with their friends filled with alcohol, drugs, and good music.

That’s where they find themselves tonight. The infamous Pogues. John B, JJ, Kie, Pope, and now Sarah Cameron. Although born a natural Kook, she’s earned her spot next to the adventurous teens and her boyfriend. Unlike her brother Rafe who basically is the leader of his notorious group. Topper and Kelce are his best friends who follow him blindly.

The Pogues watch them from their spot surrounding the keg. Kie purses her lips in distaste as the boys cat call for the ladies around them. Somehow most of them finding it flattering. Sarah sips on her beer to hide her embarrassment, often wondering how she and her brother grew up to be so different. Pope and John B stay mostly disinterested, only worried if they try to make a pass at an unwilling girl or fire a degrading comment at their short tempered friend. JJ Maybank is known around the island for his trouble making behavior. Usually if he gets in trouble for fights, no one ever asks who the other people were in the scuffle. Because if JJ Maybank is in the fight, he’s the one who started it, right? Wrong. In fact, JJ usually is never the one to start it. He’s good at keeping his head down and only speaking when spoken to when it comes to the Kooks - the only form of advice worth taking from his father. But his short temper is something the Kooks his age loved to take advantage of because they liked getting a rise out of him. It was like an adrenaline rush.

Luckily, tonight both groups were keeping their distance, either only talking to each other or random Tourons that have found their way to the party. This is usually JJ’s favorite part of a boneyard party. Finding his one fish in a sea of many that he can reel in just for the night and never have to worry about seeing them again.

He has his eyes set on a beautiful blonde making her way to the bonfire when all of a sudden Kie’s voice pulls him out of his trance.

“What’s she doing here?”

JJ follows her line of vision, spotting you walking down the wooden steps that lead to the beach, pulling your best friend behind you by his wrist. He first notices your smile and how it brightens up your entire face. Then of course his eyes scan down your slim but athletically toned body. You’re wearing a pair of jean shorts and a cropped white T shirt that says UNC across the chest. Who knew someone could look so good without even trying?

Well JJ did. He’s known it for a while.

“Careful. I think you’re drooling,” John B whispers in his best friend’s ear.

JJ pushes him away and mutters, “Shut up. No I’m not.”

But maybe he was.

Y/N Y/L/N is a unique resident of the island. Unlike majority of the island, she doesn’t fall in either Kook or Pogue category. She’s what everyone calls the Hybrid.

People who work hard for what they have but haven’t fallen to be Pogue status. Quite literally living in the middle in a place they call the Crest.

Your story is well versed among the gossipers of the island (which tends to be just about everybody).  And mainly that’s because of who your grandparents are.  Claude and Doris Y/L/N. Two of the riches people on the island, living in a three story house on the beach. Many people fear them, others envy them. Most feel both. Even Ward Cameron walks on egg shells around them, which is quite often, considering he works for Claude. They’re the kind of people who have never heard of Barefoot wine or Walmart. They keep their noses up and turn a blind eye to the suffering communities around them. Thirty four years ago, Doris gave birth to a daughter that couldn’t be more opposite than them. Lorelai Y/L/N was a wild child. A rule breaker. She snuck out at nights, dated boys her parents would never approve of, dabbled in breaking the law here and there. It didn’t matter how many times her parents disciplined her. She always managed to make her parents’ life a living hell. 

No one was surprised when word got passed around that Lorelai had gotten pregnant at eighteen. Although it was with another Kook, she brought shame upon her family name when she refused to get an abortion, even when her mom tried dragging her by her hair. 

Lorelai risked everything by running away from her parents’ home in the middle of a windy night. With only one suitcase, the baby daddy out of the picture, and less than a grand in her pocket, she managed to make a life for herself on the South side of the island. She worked two jobs, found an affordable apartment for cheap rent, and managed to save some money before her babies were born.

Yes, babies. As in more than one. Five months after running away from home, she gave birth to twin girls and they instantly became her entire life. With the help of her best friend Steve, who she met one month after being on her own, meeting him at his automotive shop when she very much literally rolled her junky car into the garage, she raised you and your sister on the Cut. The two of you are her greatest accomplishment. Every now and then, she mentally throws up a middle finger to everybody who doubted her, proud of who the two of you have become. 

Right before you turned ten, your mom took a business risk and opened her own Cafe. The Bikini Beans cafe, very popular amongst both Kooks and Pogues. The business did so well that she was able to move the three of you out of your shitty apartment into a beautiful one story home with three bedrooms in between the Cut and Figure Eight, aka the Crest, the summer going into your freshman year.

You actually used to be best friends with John B Routledge, JJ Maybank, and Pope Heyward. It was easier being friends with them than the girls, finding more joy in sports and rough housing than makeup and gossip. 

Doing the same summer that you moved, your mom pulled you out of Kildare County High and placed you in Outer Banks Private Academy. Aka Kook Academy. Around this time, your grandparents had also become more involved in your life, and you wondered if they had somehow bribed your mom into forcing you to transfer schools. You tried asking her during one of your many fights that started with you begging her to keep you at Kildare County High, but she quickly shut you down and told you to be grateful. That was ironic coming from the woman who ran away from the people giving her an expensive high school career. 

You had no choice but to do what your grandparents wanted and attend Kook Academy. Making friends was a lot harder there than it was in Kildare County High. You managed to make one friend in your freshman year. Andre Cortez. Due to an incident a couple years back, you built thick walls and Andre was the only one able to break them down. You were grateful for your friendship, but hanging out with him was nothing like hanging out with the Pogues. 

When you transferred schools, you lost touch with the Pogues slowly. Your life became busy with school and playing dress up for your grandparents and the boys were starting to work. Eventually all contact was cut and ever since, you’ve felt a void in your heart.

“Look,” You tell Andre. “I told you I would be your wing woman and I’m not backing down from what could possibly be the most important role in my life.”

You didn’t notice the Pogues or any of the stares around you. It’s true you’re not much of a party girl. I mean, you’ll go out here and there, have a drink or two, but you felt more comfortable at places where you weren’t surrounded by drunk and horny teenagers. 

“He’s probably not even here,” Andre says. He’s trying to look nonchalant but you notice the way his eyes dance from face to face of the people around him. 

“He told you he was going to be here, right?” You ask him with one brow raised. Andre nods. “Then, we’ll find him.”

Sarah and Kie never made any effort to talk to you at school, but to be fair, neither have you. You’ve heard mixed reviews, some people call them spoiled brats, ungrateful...some even go as far as calling them ‘The Cut Sluts.’ Of course you never take any of those things to heart. You can’t judge a book but it's cover. Plus, they’re friends with your old best friends. They can’t be that bad for John B and JJ and Pope to be hanging out with them, right?

“You think she'll come over here?” Kie asks. No one’s ever said it out loud, but her friends wonder if deep down, Kie was a little jealous of you. Because you were their first real girl friend. You were the first girl they ever let in and opened their heart too. That was a tough pill for Kie to swallow when she originally thought she was that girl. Of course the boys don’t like you any more than Kie and vice versa. But sometimes Kie wishes she could have grown up with the boys the same way you had. 

“Probably not. Unless she’s drinking,” Pope says and motions towards the keg they’re near. 

“I have an idea,” John B says and fills up a red solo cup. He hands it to JJ. “Why don’t you go offer her a cup.”

JJ snags the cup out of John B’s hand and glares at him. “Fuck off, dude.” 

“Do you guys ever see her around at school?” Pope asks the girls.

Sarah shrugs. “Not really. She doesn’t really get a long with my old group of friends.”

Kie rolls her eyes. “No one gets along with your old group of friends.”

Sarah playfully shoves Kie by the shoulder and they laugh. 

“I heard she turned down Raymond Easterling a couple weeks ago and he didn’t take it very well,” Pope says, remembering the words he heard from the kids in his class roaming the school hallways. 

Raymond goes to Kildcare County High with the Pogues. He’s known to be a trouble maker and a class clown. He works with JJ at the country club. The kid can make JJ laugh sometimes, but he wouldn’t necessarily say he likes him all that much. He can be an arrogant asshole with an ego bigger than it should be.

“She turns down everybody,” Sarah says. “Some people at my school call her ‘The Heart Sucker’ because she can pull people in with the snap of her fingers and break their heart just as quickly.”

Something stirred in the pit of JJ’s stomach.

“Hey! Where you going?” John B calls out to JJ who’s making his way deeper into the sea of people on the beach. 

“Taking advantage of a good boneyard party, my friend,” JJ calls back and slugs the rest of his beer. Looking left and right, he searches for the blonde he had eyes on earlier. Because right now, he needed a distraction. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The party starts to die down a little after midnight. Some people leave to find another party, some are passed out in the back of their cars, and others had already found what they were looking for - someone to leave with. 

The boneyard party wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be. You had found a couple of kids from your school who were nice enough to make small talk with you while Andre left to find a guy named Devon, a Touron he’s been talking to who’s renting for the entire summer. 

Now you’re waiting for Andre to come back so the two of you can walk home. You find comfort under a slanted palm tree towards the back of the beach, scrolling through random apps on your phone to pass the time.

“Y/N?” You look up from you phone and smile when you see your former best friend inching closer to you, squinting in the dark to see if it’s really you. 

“Maybank? What are you still doing here?” You stand up and pat the sand off your hands on you thighs. 

Your heart skips a beat in your chest when you look at him. He’s beautiful. Lucious blonde hair, perfectly tanned skin, piercing blue eyes. You always knew JJ was going to grow up to be gorgeous. He was cute when he was younger. At least you always thought so. 

“I was just leaving, but I thought I saw you sitting here and wanted to make sure you were all right.” He knows it’s not like you to stay this late at a party, especially all by yourself. When he first saw you sitting there, he didn’t know if he should say something. Mostly due to nerves of seeing you again. But the other Pogues had already left and he didn’t trust anyone else at the party to be near you alone late at night. It didn’t matter if you were sober or not. 

“Aw. Was JJ Maybank worried about me?” You tease. Talking to him felt easy. As if you never stopped being friends. A few years ago, you and JJ had the best banter. Despite constantly bickering back and forth, John B always swore the two of you would get married one day. The two of you just always clicked like a natural connection. And even now, when only seeing each other every now and then for a few minutes at a time, it felt normal. You smirk when JJ rolls his eyes. “I’m kidding. Yeah, I’m okay. Just waiting for my friend to come back from his little rendezvous,” You say. 

JJ nods. “Did you have a good time? I feel like I never you see at these things.”

“Yeah. Parties aren’t really my thing. But Andre was nervous to meet this guy he’s been talking to for a little while so I came for moral support.”

“Looks like he didn’t need much of the support.”

You shrug. “It’s better that way, anyway. I don’t mind waiting for him. What about you?”

“What about me?” 

“Did you have a good time tonight? I hear your quite the ladies’ man at these things.”

“Come on, Sparky. You know better than to believe everything you hear.”

Your face lights up at the mention of your old nickname. You use to always be busting out the seams with energy. On days where the boys just wanted to chill and play video games, you would drag them to the park for a game of kick ball. Or when they wanted to sleep in after a long week, you showed up at 8 am to drag them out of bed to catch the morning waves. So one day JJ started calling you Sparky, and it stuck with the rest of your little gang. You always pretended to hate it, but secretly you loved it. 

“Oh I don’t believe everything I hear. I do, however, believe what I see. And your arm around that tall blonde in the little black dress looked quite convincing.”

You first saw JJ at the party when he was making his way to the pretty girl by the water. Your teeth involuntarily clenched and there was a twisted feeling in your stomach you couldn’t shake whenever you looked at them. 

In that instant, JJ felt grateful for the dark sky. He felt the rush of heat rise up his neck to his cheeks before he could stop it. He knew the motivation to see that girl was because of you. He just wished you never saw it. But he didn’t know why. 

“I walked her home. She wasn’t my type,” JJ plays it off. 

“I didn’t realize you had a type,” You giggle, but a small part felt relieved to hear this. “So what is it? Your type?”

Hybrids with a Pogue attitude, bright smile, beautiful eyes, and a mouth that could make any sailor turn around, JJ thought. 

“I don’t know. Haven’t figured it out yet.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Well, when you figure it out let me know.”

“Why? So you can transform into my ideal girl?” He teases.

Now you’re the one thankful for the dark sky. “In your dreams, Maybank. But so far, I do have the perfect wing-woman track record, so if you needed help -”

“I don’t think I need any help in that department. Thank you very much.”

You throw your hands up in fake surrender. “Ooo. Touchy subject.”

JJ rolls his eyes at the same time your phone pings with a text message. You pull it out of your shorts pocket and open the text from Andre, telling you to leave without him because he’s gonna stay out late with Devon and won’t know what time he’s going to be done.

“Everything all right?” JJ says, watching you read the message.

You lock your phone and stuff it in your back pocket again. “Like I said. Perfect wing-woman track record.”

“That was Andre?” 

“Yeah. He’s most likely not coming home tonight.”

“Lucky bastard.”

“At least one of us is,” You joke. 

JJ’s grin slightly falters but you don’t catch it. You have no idea how much he wishes the two of you could be equally as lucky. Together. 

“Well, I should probably go,” You say and bend down to grab your flip flops.

“Let me walk you home,” JJ offers. 

“Oh no. It’s okay -”

“You’re cute. It’s wasn’t up for debate. I’m not letting you walk back by yourself.”

You scoff lightly. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just humor me.”

You roll your eyes and smirk but choose not to argue. In fact, you’re excited to spend more time with JJ. It’s been so long.

“Fine.”

“And here I thought you might’ve grown out of your stubborn phase by now.”

You shove him playfully by the shoulder. “Shut up!”

And just like that, it felt like old times.

[theringers]

V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox

The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it

Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc

Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:

Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)

Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that

Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together

Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff

Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)

Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too

Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category

Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster

George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together

Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out

Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high

Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic

Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him

Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy

Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf

Notable alums:

Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)

Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you

Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm

Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history

Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)

Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic

Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu

i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.

LOOK! AT! THIS!

f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon

i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas

to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby

PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)