#squirrel sasuke

[ikeromantic]

Entwined Ch. 4

Part 4 of a multipart series. Mai has been reborn in the modern age after a full life in the Sengoku. The warlords as spirit animals find her again after 500 years of searching for her soul. Approx. 3500 words.

Part 1

Previous: Chapter 3

Kaiya was covered in fabric and notions. Bits of thread stuck to her clothes and dotted the floor around her. Mai knew she probably looked just as ridiculous about now. A pile of throw pillows lay beside her, made up of odds and ends, waiting to be stuffed. Her friend opted to make some aprons, and they’d been hand stitching the details on for the last hour. 

This was Mai’s favorite part. Trying to figure out how to use buttons or trim to create interesting patterns that would look nice once the pillow was fluffed, but she wasn’t making much progress. 

“So this guy takes you out to like, a romantic ruin by the lake and then tells you he’s not interested?” Kaiya laughed. “You don’t buy that, right? I mean . . . he’s clearly trying to play hard to get.”

Mai shook her head. “No! It’s really not like that. He’s just a client.” She put a stitch through the buttonhole, refusing to look up at her friend because if she did, she was sure Kaiya would see through her flimsy denial. She did like Mitsuhide. But it would never work out. 

“Girl! Look, he’s hot and he’s obviously into you. What is the problem? So what if you’re also his costume designer? If anything,” Kaiya leaned forward, her smile going even wider, “that just makes it easier to get his clothes off. Please please tell me you’ve done a fitting for him.”

“No! I mean, not yet. I’m supposed to meet him on Monday.” For a moment, Mai’s imagination got away with her. Thinking of what he must look like under the fabric. How close she would need to be to measure and pin. Her cheeks grew hot. 

Kaiya fell back, laughing so hard her body shook. “You’re practically drooling!” 

“I’m not!” Mai stood. “Look, ok, yes. He’s hot and flirty and how could I not like him? But Kai, he’s an actor! I’d get a reputation. And even if I didn’t, you know how actors are. I’d be his flavor of the week and then he’d move on to the next girl that caught his eye.” She sighed. “Anyway, you want a snack? I picked up those crackers you like.”

“Mmm. Yeah. Ok.” Kaiya watched her intently. “So, I get you. No actors. Even really cute flirty ones. So . . . what about grocery-guy?”

“Hideyoshi? He’s really nice.” Mai came back with food and tossed Kaiya her crackers. “I should text him.”

Her friend gaped. “You’re telling me you went on a date with the guy and then ghosted him?”

“No! I mean, I wrote him a thank you the next day so I didn’t ghost him. I just haven’t had time to - to write him back yet.”

“Back? Are you telling me he texted you and you left him on read?!” Kaiya snatched Mai’s phone from the floor and held it out to her. “You need to tell that cute boy you’re sorry. Now. You cannot ruin this just because you’re busy with work.”

Mai nodded and took the proffered phone. “I know. I just don’t know what to say.” She opened her messages to the one Hideyoshi sent her. “It’s only been a couple of days. It’s not like I’m ignoring him.” 

Kaiya leaned over to read the message aloud. “No need to thank me. I am lucky to have a beautiful girl enjoy a good meal with me. We should meet again soon. Whatever you like, my treat. And hey! Don’t work too hard! Smiley face. Is that the one with blushy cheeks? It is!” She pushed Mai’s shoulder. “What are you thinking? That’s the sweetest post-date text ever.”

“Probably not . . . ever.” Mai giggled. It was ridiculously sweet. “Ok. Let’s see. Mmmm, what about -” She started to type. “Hey Hideyoshi! How’s your weekend going?”

“Oh my god, Mai. That’s the best you can manage?”

Mai threw a button at Kaiya. “Shut up! It’s fine. It sounds normal.”

The reply was immediate. Both girls hovered over the phone, reading. “It’s fine. Would be better if I had another date with a pretty girl to look forward to. Smiley face. What about you?”

“Ok, ok. We’re packing up here and you are going to tell him you’re free right now. Invite him to the movies or something.”

“I’m not telling him that. It sounds desperate!” Mai wrote back. “Working on some side projects at the office. Would definitely be better with something fun to look forward to.” 

Kaiya gave the text a nod of approval. “Alright, that one at least sounds interested and a little mysterious. Still boring though. Tell him to send nudes!”

Mai felt her whole face go hot. “Kai! What the hell? I’ve never ever asked a guy for nudes!”

“Pffft. And that is why your dating life is dead. All work, no play . . .”

“So what? You asked a guy for nudes? You have got to be kidding.”

Kaiya laughed. “Well yeah, because cute guys don’t drop into my life from nowhere. If they did, I’d be starting an art gallery on my phone.”

“You wouldn’t! Gross!”

“The body is beautiful, Mai. And I appreciate beauty. Besides, if I don’t have at least a shirtless pic, how am I supposed to imagine licking ice cream off his -”

The office door opened. “Ah, hello?”

Hideyoshi poked his head in and looked around until he spotted Mai and Kaiya. Then he smiled and ducked his head, a little embarrassed. “Sorry to pop in like this. You look busy. Is it ok if I come in?”

“Um. Yes?” Mai scrambled to her feet as Kaiya stood up beside her. Both girls flushed to the tips of their ears.

Kaiya nudged her. 

“Oh, ah. Hideyoshi. This is my friend Kaiya. Kaiya, this is my, um, my new . . . friend? Hideyoshi.” Mai wanted to sink into the floor right then. Why was her brain so stupid? My new friend. 

Kaiya gave her a look that promised much teasing later, but she smoothly stepped forward. “It is so nice to finally meet you! Mai has told me so much about you.”

“All good things, I hope.” Hideyoshi grinned. “Anyway, I didn’t want to interrupt your work. I was just in the neighborhood when I got your text and I, I wanted to drop this off for you.” He held out a little decorative bag tied with a pretty ribbon.

Mai took the bag. “What? Hideyoshi, did you get me a present?”

He chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s a little presumptuous. I know. It’s just, I saw it the day after our dinner out and . . . I don’t know. I thought you might like it. I’ll take it back if you don’t want it.”

Kaiya gave Mai a look that said her friend was not about to let her turn the gift down. 

“I’m sure it’s lovely. It’s just a surprise.” As in, Mai was pretty sure no guy she ever dated bought her something after the first time they went out. But Hideyoshi seemed pretty genuine. She peeked into the bag and nearly dropped it. Her eyes went wide as she looked back up at him. “This is . . . these are . . . no. No, that’s too expensive. Hideyoshi.”

She tried to hand him back the bag but Kaiya snagged it and untied the bow. “Oh. My. God. These shears are to die for! Mai, did you tell him you wanted these?”

“So it’s a good gift?” Hideyoshi’s eyes were wide and earnest.

“Good? It’s perfect. These have the comfort grip and the blades can be sharpened. Every seamstress wants a set of these.” Kaiya excitedly took the shears from the bag. 

Hideyoshi wasn’t paying any attention to Kaiya. His warm gaze held Mai’s. “I knew you liked sewing. Not just for work. I - I thought you might like these. More than a box of candy, anyway.” 

“I do. Thank you.” Mai normally refused expensive gifts because it always seemed like there were strings attached. Men often thought they bought a ticket to your pantyline when they paid for dinner. So what would a pair of pricey sewing shears get them? But Hideyoshi didn’t give off that vibe at all. In fact, he was beaming now and there wasn’t anything inappropriate in his smile. 

Not like the mischief and sensuality that always played at the edges of Mitsuhide’s sharp grin. 

Mai pushed that comparison out of her head. It didn’t matter, because Hideyoshi was perfectly sweet and very dateable and Mitsuhide was just a client. Even he said so. She cleared her throat. “Would you like a drink? Why don’t you sit down and I’ll grab a soda.”

Hideyoshi’s eyes crinkled. “I’d love to, but you look busy. And I’ve got places to be. I really did just want to drop that off for you.” He reached out and took Mai’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank you for accepting my gift.”

“Thank you for getting me something so thoughtful.” Mai couldn’t help but feel a warmth wash over her from his gentle grasp. She felt small and delicate in his hands. She caught Kaiya pretending to vomit just out of Hideyoshi’s line of sight. 

“Have a good evening. To both of you.” He let go and gave Kaiya a wave goodbye. 

When he was gone, Mai sagged back to the floor, staring at the shears. 

“He was gorgeous! What are you doing, Mai? He’s so nice and so so into you. He was looking at you like you’re tonight’s dessert. And you let him just walk out!”

“I mean, yeah? What was I supposed to do?” Mai rolled her eyes.

Kaiya laughed. “Look, if it was me, I would have kicked you out and jumped him right here.” She noisily kissed the air. “He’s tall and his ass is so perfect. And those shoulders . . . what the hell, Mai? This is the guy you ghosted for days? What is wrong with you?”

“I told you, I didn’t ghost him. I just . . . I’ve been really busy.” Mai shrugged. Her friend was right, of course. She was getting so wrapped up in work and Akechi’s teasing mixed signals. “You’re right though.” Mai came to a decision. “I’ll ask him if he wants to go out next week. Take a day and just go do something fun.”

“Yes!” Kaiya grinned. “And then come back and tell me all about it. You know I live for your dating life.”

Mai laughed. “Hey! No - what about that guy from the coffee shop? The barista?”

“Pffft. A load of nothing. He puts hearts in everybody’s foam.” Kaiya rolled her eyes. “All the good ones are taken or fictional.” She poked Mai’s arm. “You’re the only one finding the exceptions. Two hot guys.” She sighed.

“Three actually. Did I tell you about the chef?”

Kaiya threw a pillow at her. “What? Now you’re just getting greedy!”

Mai giggled. “Hey, it’s not like he was hitting on me. He was just really friendly. You’d love him. And . . .” She paused, remembering how familiar his company felt. As if he already knew her. “He said I should drop by again sometime. We could go together. Me and you, Asami, if she wants to go.”

“Yes” Kaiya grinned. “I like a man who can cook.”

***

Monday came too soon. Mai woke up before her alarm went off. She stared at her ceiling wondering if it was worth it to try to fall back asleep for another twenty minutes. Her eyes felt dry and itchy, and there was a steady pulse of pressure in her temples. After a moment, she forced herself out of bed and shuffled to the cabinet for eye drops and pain killer.

Every step made her head hurt more. Little colored lights flickered and floated at the edges of her vision. Not good, she thought. There was too much to do today to get a headache like this. She had to drop off a wedding dress commission and then meet Mitsuhide for final fittings on the first act’s costume set. Thinking about it just made her head hurt worse. Focus, Mai told herself. Medicate first. Worry about the day later.

On the way back to her bed, she stumbled and lost her balance. The pills she’d just taken threatened to come up. Mai swallowed, doing her best to keep them down. Her head spun as she tried to right herself and the pain welled up so strongly that she almost cried. She sat down on the floor and rested her head in her hands. 

“Ok, breathe,” she whispered. “Just sit here and wait for the painkillers to kick in. Yeah.” 

Ten minutes later, Mai felt good enough to crawl back into bed. Her head hurt too much to fall back asleep, but she lay there with her eyes closed trying to relax. She promised herself she would go to bed earlier, drink more water, take more walks - anything not to get another headache like this. 

It was clear an hour later that today was not going to happen as planned. Her head didn’t feel any better. If anything, it felt worse the second she tried to sit up. Mai used her phone to turn on her office closed message, and sent an apology text to her wedding customers with a promise to bring the dress by tomorrow. She texted Mitsuhide too, telling him she wasn’t feeling well and asking if they could reschedule fittings during the next rehearsal. 

Mai felt a little guilty about both, but there was no way she could work like this. She could barely see straight. Hopefully no one would be too upset. Word of mouth in this business was important. Tomorrow, she thought, she would pick up flowers or chocolate or something as an extra apology when she met with her clients. 

The bride texted her back almost immediately with a smiley emoji. ‘We were going to call you,’ the text said, ‘to cancel anyway. We need to meet with the caterers today so it works out. See you tomorrow, same time!’ That was a relief.

Mitsuhide didn’t respond back at all, which bothered her. She hoped he got the text and wasn’t just waiting for her with his crew at the theater this afternoon. That would be so embarrassing. Mai resolved to call in a little while, once her pulse stopped hammering at the inside of her skull. 

She drifted in and out of a miserable half-sleep where dreams followed her into her dark apartment and back beneath her eyelids again. A squirrel kept showing up, perched on the side of her dream-bed, blinking at her from her very real windowsill, ducking into her dream-kitchen, and disappearing again. It was really cute, and in her half-sleep it didn’t seem strange at all to have a flying squirrel running around the apartment. She wasn’t sure if it was really there or not, and didn’t care.

In fact, when a click-clunk sounded from the front of the apartment, part of her brain dismissed it as that naughty dream-squirrel. Mai’s eyes squinted open and she rolled over, peering into the front of the apartment, unsure if the noise was real or imagined. A dark silhouette stood in front of the door, back to her. 

Mai sat up with a shriek, going into full panic. The sudden movement made clouds of color burst in her vision and her stomach heaved. Everything spun as if she were falling. Her legs tangled in the blankets and she knocked her phone to the floor. 

The intruder took a step toward her. He had a bag in one hand, the other raised in the air as if to shush her. 

Mai threw her pillow. It was the only thing she could get ahold of and she didn’t know what else to do. The motion sent bright spots of pain spilling into her head and exploding behind her eyes.

“Ow! Hey! Calm down little mouse. I was trying not to wake you.” 

“Little . . . mouse?” The nickname settled on her like a cloak of calm. “Mitsuhide?”

He closed the distance between them and now she could make out his distinct golden eyes and white hair. He wasn’t smiling though. A crease marred his forehead and his lips were pressed together in a pale line. “I brought you some soup and medicine. I wasn’t sure what to get so . . .”

The squirrel from her dream leapt out of the bag with a bottle in its paws. It hopped onto her bed and held the bottle out. 

“Is this your pet?” The squirrel was so cute that for a moment she didn’t question why he was there or how he got in. It was the one from her dream, only she was sure now it was real.

Mitsuhide chuckled. “More yours than mine, I think.”

Mai took the bottle from the squirrel. It was a stronger painkiller than she usually took. “Hm. Smart squirrel. Thank you.” She petted the squirrel and then watched as it leapt and soared off the bed and onto the counter. 

“Let me get you some water, little one.” Mitsuhide set the bag down and brought back a glass. He watched as Mai took a pill from the bottle. “I brought you some soup too. I would have been here sooner if Masamune hadn’t been determined to get fresh ginger for it.”

“Ginger?” She tried to keep her eyes open, to look at him, but even the low light made them ache. 

Mitsuhide nodded. “It’s good for nausea, inflammation . . . anyway, I thought some soup would make you feel better.”

“So. You came here because of my text? How did you know where I live? And how did you get in?” She realized she suddenly had a lot of questions, but as they bubbled out another wave of agony pulsed through her head. She shut her eyes and tried to breathe through it.

“Let’s worry about that when you’re feeling better. Suffice to say, I can’t let my favorite costume designer suffer.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. The light pressure of his cool touch eased the pain just a bit, and Mai felt some of her tension leak away.

When Mitsuhide’s hand lifted, she wanted to call him back. But that would be weird. It was strange enough that he was here at all. Seeing her in her pajamas, hair messy, no makeup . . . Mai let out a sigh. 

“What was that, little mouse?” It sounded like he was in the kitchen.

“Just thinking this is the worst possible way for you to see me.”

Mitsuhide’s laugh was gentle. “I admit, you aren’t at your best. But even sick, you’re a beautiful girl. I didn’t come over expecting you to look nice. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Mai’s lips curled up in a small smile. “Well, I think you’re only the third person to see me like this. Mom, Asami, and now you. So, welcome to the messy-Mai club?” 

“I’m a lucky man.” He sounded closer now. “Don’t throw another pillow at me, ok? I’m just bringing your soup.”

“If you didn’t want to get hit with something, you should have announced yourself or knocked at least.” 

The spoon lightly scraped the bowl. “That wouldn’t have been as much fun.” She could hear his smile as he added, “Your face in that moment was adorable. I don’t think your eyes have ever gone so wide.”

Mai wanted to glare at him, but opening her eyes right now seemed like a lot of work. “You’re a bastard.”

“Mhmm. Now open wide. Soup incoming.”

“Wha-” The spoon slipped past her lips and deposited warm, savory soup across her tongue. She nearly sputtered, caught mid-word, but managed to swallow. “Hey, I can feed myself.”

“Sure you can. Why don’t you open your eyes and show me, hm?”

Mai sighed. “Ok, point. But I can always eat it later. You can stick it in the fridge and go.”

“I could.” The spoon gently bumped against her bottom lip. 

She took the bite. The soup was really good. Sharp tang of ginger, the slight sweet taste of beets and carrots, and just the right consistency to go down easy and settle lightly in her stomach. Mai wanted to complain, but she was finding it harder to bother. Easier to just let this, whatever it was, happen. 

Mitsuhide fed her a few more spoonfuls, but stopped as she began to nod off. She didn’t need to say anything for him to notice the change in her posture, the way her shoulders relaxed into the bed. Mai couldn’t see the tender smile on his face as he adjusted the blankets around her. He leaned forward to kiss her forehead and then paused. His gaze clouded. 

“I shouldn’t have come. I know.” His words were quiet as a breath. “It isn’t fair to you.” A glimmer lit deep in his eyes as he stroked her hair, barely touching the strands with his fingertips. “But I’ve never fought honorably. Honor is for those willing to lose.” Then he finished the movement, pressing his lips to her forehead. 

The squirrel gave him a knowing look from where it sat on the countertop.

Next: Chapter 5

[sassykinzonline]

went for a run so intense i generated static on my body (happens a lot, no worries) and saw two squirrels having sex, the shock of it made me do a spit take--

i guess its freak nasty friday after all

[heart-shaped-strawberry]

Reading sasunaru fanfics on ao3

[narutocharacterpolls]

ROUND FOUR

ROCK LEE vs HATAKE KAKASHI

Reasons for submission under the cut

Lee

ROCK LEE VS GAARA

kind as can be; willing to jump to action to help his fellow comrades even after going through a life-threatening, major surgery

practical and fashion-forward with his bright green onesie. Function over form, and is prepared at all times by carrying around a spare onesie he will give without question to anyone - even complete strangers

has a surprising edge to him at the beginning of the series; he was ready to severely maim anybody that he saw as a genius

more dedicated than anyone. Was forced to face his own mortality and make a life-or-death decision in the name of his dream, after a literal crushing defeat, and he chose to fight for it. Inspiring

embodies the ideals of original series Naruto. True underdog, had nothing going for him, came from nothing with no legacy or powers, was so disadvantaged that he physically could not meet the bare minimum abilities of his peers. But he worked harder than everyone else and proved that he can be a great shinobi despite all the adversity he faced

Sasuke had to copy Lee’s moves with his Sharingan to succeed during Chuunin exams

cute as a button. Come on.

his fans are dedicated and make amazing work, fanart and fanfic

Kishimoto said he was his favorite character to draw. Boom. Favoritism. Love to see it.

pairs well with everyone. Platonic or romantic, Lee has a great dynamic with other characters

his summer outfit from Guardian of the Crescent Moon Kingdom was the best outfit in the movie

gave us Metal Lee! Blessed us with Metal Lee, really

was the character to beat in the early series if you wanted to show how strong you actually are

Gaara vs Rock Lee was one of the most iconic fights in the series, and everyone remembers where they were when they first saw Lee drop his weights. He owned that fight so hard that people forget he lost.

was wronged by the series. He deserves to win as justice.

got [submitter] personally through the worst times; his ability to persevere face of adversity convinced me I could do it too. He wasn’t special and neither was [submitter], but we didn’t need to be. We can make ourselves great. If no one else got me, Rock Lee’s got me

he’s one of the first non-jutsu using ninja so make such a big impact

was the first person to actually harm Gaara

played a huge part in Gaara becoming a better person

he’s one of the only people that can catch up to Sasuke and easily rivals Naruto in Taijutsu

his kind, determined and cheerful attitude is a joy to watch

Rock Lee removing his weights is easily one of the most iconic moments in the entire anime

has helped several submitters feel better by simply thinking about how he wouldn’t want them to think like that

objectively would’ve made a better protagonist based on the themes alone

KICKS MAJOR ASS

wrecked Sasukes shit, I like Sasuke but that was really funny

he looks like a frog. Who doesn’t like frogs

inspired Sasuke

fights are always entertaining, they’re very well choreographed

he forgave Gaara for nearly killing him and nearly ending his dreams; he was never even mad at him

Rock Lee vs Sasuke was iconic

his heart is so full of love

never did anything wrong

had a squirrel befriend him

hard worker

good friend

rises to any challenge

when he does diss people they are the most brutal yet entertaining disses you ever hear

positive, weirdo, energetic, enthusiastic, joyful, chivalrous, motivated, dedicated, sweet

Lee and Neji had something homosexual going on

YOUTH !!!!

Kakashi

relatable as an adult

he is just an overworked guy who was told to watch some kids w LOTS of issues

needs therapy

good presence and guidance in Narutos life

interesting

cares about and is dedicated to his students very much

he is just cool

he is trying his best despite what he has been through in the past

is up for having fun but still knows when to be serious

was a narcissistic shit but grew out of it

has good intentions

sexy

wonderfully complex and well developed character

incredibly resilient and supportive

a sad and deeply broken man

always willing to give his life to protect them and his other precious people

just wanted everything to be ok for once in his life

hated Danzo

his friendship with Gai is adorable

the way he teases Tenzo is fun

he’s known as cool and aloof but in reality he’s a huge dork

Gai would want him to win

[waffliesinyoface]

fic concept: sakura gets recruited into ANBU during the timeskip and kakashi starts losing his mind a little bit

specifically because like. i don't doubt that as soon as team 7 dissolved after sasuke's defection, kakashi went right back to doing ANBU shit.

naruto's gone, sasuke gone, sakura is still in the village but she has tsunade who is (in his mind) much better at teaching her than he ever was and he DEFINITELY has zero opinions about that at all, no sirree, so he just kinda. vanishes. a little bit. because he is incredibly mentally well adjusted, you see.

anyways. tsunade isn't letting him completely get lost in ANBU, because This Is Not A Healthy Coping Mechanism, Kakashi, but like. konoha is real fucking low on manpower for a bit there so she can't not assign him ANBU missions.

enter sakura, who is like. getting ridiculously good at medicine. her combat potential is kind of limited until she actually perfects tsunade's strength technique, but ANBU is mostly about stealth so that's not much of a liability. But, like, field medicine? did you lose an arm? do you still have the arm? yeah, she can fix that no biggie. it's just simple anatomy?? guys its not hard. (never let it be said that sakura isn't just as much of a freak of nature as the other members of team 7)

anyways. between that, her excellent chakra control (needed for stealth techniques), ability to work well with others, her penchant for violence, and the fact that "Sakura Haruno" is starting to get known as "The Hokage's Apprentice"... shoving her in ANBU from time to time is excellent training, means Tsunade can keep an eye on her, and it allows her to take missions with less risk of someone recognizing her and going "oh we need to deal with this before she grows up and becomes the second slug sage". It's enrichment AND the protection of anonymity!

However. the thing about Sakura is. She has pink hair. She has bright pink hair. Even if Kakashi wasn't already intimately familiar with her, it's really really goddamn obvious who she is under the mask.

Tsunade "introduces" her as "ANBU Squirrel", and Kakashi, under his own ANBU Wolf mask, has to try really really hard not to freak out that one of his precious genin is working in ANBU.

On the one hand, why. Why are you doing this to him. Please this is so stressful he can remember taking her on missions to catch cats, why is she in ANBU now its only been like a YEAR since she graduated.

On the other hand, he absolutely cannot let her get assigned to anyone else because they won't be completely neurotically obsessed with keeping her safe like he would.

And Tsunade won't hear a word about taking her out of ANBU because you don't get to just ghost your students, Kakashi. You will interact with your little baby duckling and stop trying to duck your responsibilities as her sensei.

[selenacosmic]

So i came up with this idea, but how would the warlords react to MC’s dog (like a Doberman or a Rottweiler that travelled through time with her) ran all the way from Azuchi to Kasugayama (or vice versa) to find it’s owner?

Oh that’s an interesting idea! Thank you for the request!

MC’s dog searches for her everywhere.

Oda forces.

Nobunaga Oda.

Nobunaga will be impressed to see a dog that travelled alone for so long just to find his owner, it will remind him of Haguro. On that note, he will consider training other animals like dogs to be obedient like that.

Hideyoshi Toyotomi.

Hideyoshi will lightly scold the dog for traveling all by himself to find MC, then he will proceed to give it a bath, food and a warm place to stay. It was too dangerous for the dog to travel all the way like that.

Mitsuhide Akechi.

Mitsuhide will be impressed with the dog’s resistance, he will pat the dog’s head and give him some treats that were intended for Chimaki, his pet fox. Even this dog was more courageous than some men he knew.

Masamune Date.

Masamune might be a cat person, but he will spoil the dog for doing such a good job traveling to azuchi from Kasugayama, that was definitely difficult and tiring. He will keep the dog in his manor and return him to MC when she is around.

Mitsunari Ishida.

Mitsunari will be so impressed he will commend the dog, finding him very brave to travel from such a faraway place alone. The dog will get many pets from him.

Ieyasu Tokugawa.

Ieyasu will not believe it at first, but seeing how tired and dirty the dog was, he had to believe that it traveled all alone from Kasugayama. He will first check if the dog was injured or sick to treat him and then he will give the dog back to MC.

Ranmaru Mori.

Oh you poor thing! Ranmaru will immediately care for the dog, feeling pity that the cute animal traveled alone from such a distance. He will sneak in some treats for the dog and play with it.

Keiji.

Keiji will find the dog strong and brave for coming to azuchi all alone just to find you. He will reward the dog with a full meal and head pats, not many animals can do that.

Uesugi-Takeda alliance.

Kenshin Uesugi.

Kenshin will be surprised by your dog’s strength, even now after reaching his destination. He will make a whole banquet for the dog to honor it, as if he was celebrating one of his soldiers.

Shingen Takeda.

Shingen will find the dog adorable and very admirable, giving him many belly rubs to reward the dog for coming such a long way. He will take care of it for a while before returning him to you, the dog was just so adorable!

Yukimura Sanada.

Yukimura love dogs, so he will adore receiving your dog at Kasugayama. He will let your dog and Muramasa, his pet wolf, play together. He might even join in to play with the two animals.

Yoshimoto Imagawa.

Ugh, look at how filthy the poor dog’s fur got from all that traveling? Yoshimoto will put it upon himself to make the dog’s fur shine and have a nice scent from the bath, he might even consider dressing the dog up but will think it would be a waste.

Sasuke.

Sasuke will smile at the dog and congratulate him for the long journey, but he won’t keep the dog with him and will immediately return him to you. Sasuke doesn’t want his pet squirrel, Kunai, to get scared by your dog.

Kanetsugu.

Kanetsugu will find the dog’s action reckless, since he could have gotten hurt from all that traveling. But he won’t nag the dog for long, instead he will order the maids to wash the dog and give it food before returning it to you.

[thottyimagines]

Top 5 unhinged Naruto characters?

Oh, man, this is a hard one. It reminds me of the emotional unavailability olympics we had. Naruto is so delightful to me as a series because this is such a difficult question to answer. But let's try:

5. Naruto himself really doesn't experience reality the way most people do. It takes a very...unique individual to experience abject hatred and abuse for over a decade and decide that he has to become the leader of this hateful people in order to earn their acceptance. And that's not even touching on his whole Thing with Sasuke.

4. Sweet Sasuke really has his moments. I think he was peak unhinged when he was an international terrorist attacking the Kage Convention and also experienced the delusion that he should be the next Hokage after running away to be an eternal genin terrorist with Orochimaru and...all the rest that followed.

3. Kabuto got pretty out there toward the end, if I'm remembering correctly. He was resurrecting people left and right for glorious battle, going full snake mode in some hole in the ground. Hideous and frightening.

2. Gaara, pre-friendship lobotomy, was a pretty scary and out-of-touch dude. I, for one, would not like to see what's up with him and the killing and eating of the squirrels. I think the people largely made him the next Kazekage out of fear.

1. Obito really got rewired in that cave with Madara is all I'm saying. He went full world domination, brainwashed a kage into committing genocide against his people, helped Konoha commit genocide against his own clan, and told himself all the while it's for the greatest good of all. He'd be amazing at PR and propaganda in another life.

An argument can be made for just about any other character, though. Again, that's what makes this series so great.

[the12thnightproject]

I thought of a HC request, if that's fine by you: the Warlords each receive a letter signed by an anonymous person saying that "The most important person in their lives is being held hostage."

However, it turns that no one was held hostage, and it was all just an experiment done by MC and Sasuke. I saw this in a comic book story years ago.

I apologize if this is confusing.

Hi Anon!  Thank you for stopping into the ol’ ask box. “The most important person in their lives is being held hostage”…? Yikes, even as an experiment that’s cruel (especially as an experiment). So… ok, I’m going to actually acquit Sasuke of this…. Even though he’s not the most emotionally adept, he’s smart enough to know that this kind of note is not the sort of thing you do in Sengoku.

HOWEVER...

We’ve seen in several event routes, that MC, especially if she is feeling inadequate, or jealous or whatever, WOULD indeed do something like this. In event routes, we’ve seen her try to make her suitor jealous, followed them, tried to give Masamune alcohol, considered giving Mitsuhide an aphrodisiac…

Yeah, if this is an event version of MC, she would do this. The question is… does she send the message and hide, HOPING that her suitor will think she is the hostage, OR does she send the message and then stand next to the warlord as he opens it, to see the reaction?

Let’s just assume she’s hiding.

"The most important person in your life is being held hostage."

Nobunaga – Opens the letter, is momentarily worried, but then he notices the top of MC’s head over the edge of the tenshu balcony. He pitches his voice loudly and announces, “Oh no! My WIFE is being held hostage.” There is a shocked whisper of “wife?” from outside, and then a scared squeak because MC loses her grip and almost falls. Nobunaga rushes out to the balcony and pulls her back to safety. Then he assures her that she is the love of his life, and makes her promise to never do anything that stupid again.

Hideyoshi – Panics. But panics in such complete brain melting gibberish, that MC is unable to tell whether or not he is worried about her…. or Nobunaga.

Mitsuhide – Realizes instantly that MC wrote the letter, and – while creeping carefully toward where MC is hiding – says, “Well… that’s way too much to pay for MC. Guess I’m going to just die a sad, lonely, man.” Then he pulls her out of her hiding place and says, “Dear me, I’ve found a tricky little mouse who apparently wants to play games tonight.” Follows that up with some suggestions about what kind of games they could play.

Masamune – Immediately takes off intending to rescue MC. MC has to chase after him to assure him that she is ok after all.  After his initial relief passes, he promises her she is the most important person in his life, and makes her promise never to do anything that stupid again.

Ieyasu –  “My sourdough starter!” Runs back to his manor to check on it.

Mitsunari – The ransom note gets mixed in with all the loose papers in his room and he never sees it.

Keiji – Plots a daring rescue. Writes a poem about the daring rescue. Puts the poem about the daring rescue to music. Hires a group of travelling players to act out daring rescue. Forgets to actually pull off daring rescue.

Ranmaru – Is doing his secret squirrel spy ninja stuff around the castle when he runs across MC hiding before he even gets the note.

Kennyo – Because everyone is important to Kennyo, he spends the rest of the week checking up on every person he knows to make sure they are ok.

Motonari – Catches MC writing the ransom note and eagerly volunteers to help her carrying the abduction.

Kicho – “And…?”

Kenshin –  If you’ve ever wondered why today, Kasugayama Castle is in ruins… well, wonder no more.

Kanetsugu – “Kenshin!” Then realizes that no force in the world could take Kenshin hostage, and hunts down MC’s hiding place. Takes fifteen minutes to icily explain to her why this was a cruel joke, but as soon as she starts crying and apologizing and vowing never to do such a stupid thing again, he gathers her in his arms and assures her that he loves her very much.

Shingen – Reads note, and recognizes MC’s handwriting. It takes him no time whatsoever to locate her. He then spends the rest of the night assuring her how much he loves her, how much she means to him (granted, he probably didn’t need the entire night, but Shingen is thorough).

Yoshimoto – MC realizes that she cannot do this to Yoshimoto – he’s suffered enough in his route and she doesn’t want to push him over the edge. So instead she sends him on a scavenger hunt, and when he follows all the clues, he finds MC at the end, lying in his bed, wearing only rose petals. She spends the rest of the night convincing him how much she loves him.

Yukimura – Enlists Sasuke’s help. Sasuke reads the note. “Wait, I believe I read this in a comic book somewhere.” He helps Yuki find MC where she is hiding. When the inevitable argument follows Yuki’s, “Dummy! How could you do such a thing. You know I love you, right?”  Sasuke slinks away.

Sasuke – Is pretty sure he read about this in a comic book, but goes to Azuchi to check on Ieyasu just in case.

@lorei-writes

[dark-elf-writes]

Anon, I have a list with most (?) of the recent AUs so I hope this helps :D

AU TAG LIST:

Unnamed: team seven has their own genin teams

- Okay but if team seven eventually had genin teams of their own?

- And imagine Sasuke having his various outfit choices criticized by three teenaged girls everyday for the rest of his life.

- the day they all come to training in orange

- naruto is awful at shogi

Unnamed: hokage naruto and sasuke take chunin exam and adopt a bunch of kids

- A record number of genin are promoted and every single one of them are hanging off the literal Hokage

- Naruto just “I am your father now” to everyone he sees.

- The world needs more good dad naruto :D

- Their third is a naruto clone transformed into a fox and controlled by Kurama

My Brothers Keeper Au: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/my%20brother%E2%80%99s%20keeper%20au/chrono

- Ride or die sasuke

- sasuke slashes his kunai

Pakkun Sensei: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/pakkun%20sensei/chrono

Little Trickster AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/little%20trickster%20au/chrono

Bodyguard AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/bodyguard%20au/chrono

Alpha Shika: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/alpha%20shika/chrono

Buff Tenten: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/buff%20tenten/chrono

Green Pens and Vigilante Justice: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/green%20pens%20and%20vigilante%20justice/chrono

Bard Zuku: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/bard%20zuku/chrono

- They would take one look at this feral child that fights with their words and just yoink Izuku so fast.

- Don’t know if I want it to be Izuku or an OC but mha character whose quirk is basically vicious mockery/other bard spells.

- The embodiment of that one Stiles quote. They are a hundred pounds soaking wet and like 5’5” sarcasm is their only defense.

Cataclysm AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/cataclysm%20au/chrono

- there was a tornado. That was on fire. With water whips attached.

- Naruto has a wind affinity and a proclivity for being yeeted

- Flying squirrel Naruto is killing me like this man makes the first version of a wind suit so he can go farther.

-IMAGINE A TINY ASS CHILD SHRIEKING BLOODY MURDER AS HE FALLS

- Just Kakashi’s little cataclysms

Ghosts and Greenery: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged ghosts%20and%20greenery/chrono

Omega Naruto: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/omega%20naruto/chrono

- Aged up Kakanaru could be fun

- If sasuke tried to leave the village and omega naruto was there

Omega Izuku: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/omega%20izuku/chrono

- But with shindeku everyone would assume

BirdZuku AU:

- molting would suck in the dorms

- Izuku with fragile little bird bones

- Concept: Tokoyami doing the toothless

- I’m imaging a very much Bird Crush

Fox in Wolf’s Clothing AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/fox%20in%20wolf%E2%80%99s%20clothing%20au/chrono

Idol AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/idol%20au/chrono

- First post: Gaara is known for a more Rock

Cowboy Sand Sibs: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/cowboy%20sand%20sibs/chrono

How to Woo an Uchiha: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/how%20to%20woo%20an%20uchiha/chrono

- AU with no Uchiha Massacre where Naruto is Sasuke’s

- My mother says I have Uzu eyes

Red Lights and Fox Fire Au: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/red%20lights%20and%20fox%20fire%20au/chrono

Unnamed: kitsune naruto

- Naruto curses himself for not learning more

- Naruto would be so precious with fox summons

Hot For Teacher AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/hot%20for%20teacher%20au/chrono

Song of the Sea AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/song%20of%20the%20sea%20au/chrono

Timeloop AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/timeloop%20au/chrono

Symbol of Safety AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/symbol%20of%20safety%20au/chrono

Hatake Clan AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/hatake%20clan%20au/chrono

- Note: Some Hatake Clan lore is untagged and can be found separately by searching…

- “I wanted to share this Kakashi AU in fic format”

- “The image of the Hatake’s walking through a field”.

- “I decided to rewrite and expand on some things :))”

- “The Hatake were not always as they are”.

- “Kakashi is so goddamn stressed out he turns his ancestors hair gray”

- Idk if these were meant to be untagged but I included it anyway:

- “The rest of the pack just watching/scoring”

- “TOXIC PAKKUN”

- “They meet up with Guy all the time to swap the stories”

- “Pakkun is a crotchety old man trapped in the body of a pug”

- “Tsume: They really need to do something”

- I hear what you’re saying but what it sounds like is Kakashi basically Jack O posing to box with a fucking pug

- Pakkun would find it more insulting if he didn’t look so hilarious doing it

- minato watching nearby

- kakashi would never shut up about it either.

Venomous Naruto: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/venomous%20naruto/chrono

Venomous Naruto: The Breaking of Team Seven: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/venomous%20naruto:%20the%20breaking%20of%20team%20seven/chrono

Naruto Uzumaki Protection Squad: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/naruto%20uzumaki%20protection%20squad/chrono

- Note: first 2 post are not tagged; can both be found by searching “slacker squad”.

- Additional note: second post is tagged #Naruto protection squad instead of #Naruto Uzumaki protection squad

Shinobi Babysitter’s Club AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/Shinobi%20babysitter%E2%80%99s%20club%20au/chrono

- Note: The first post was a kakashi simp/appreciation ask from me but it could be added to the tag for full coverage since it sets the scene of the au. Can be found by searching “Aizawa energy”

Kakashi’s Mom: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/Kakashi%E2%80%99s%20mom%20au/chrono

Unnamed: there’s this kinda au you made with Naruto thinking the fourth hokage is boring and preferring Hashi or Tobi but it doesn’t have a tag. Screen shots included in next ask so u can just tag that

Unnamed: Shikamaru finds out naruto is the son of the fourth hokage.

- Note: Second post can be found by searching “my tumblr keeps crashing” and the first by searching #brilliance.

- There is also 2 other people find out posts that can be found by searching “it happens in the middle of class” and “Are there just no pictures of the Fourth Hokage other than the whole mountain thing”

Unnamed: another orochimaru time travel. Less of an au and more of a prompt. Post can be found under #Oro-Sasuke is redefining emotionally repressed

Tree of Youth: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/tree%20of%20youth%20au/chrono

Color Blind Naruto: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/color%20blind%20naruto/chrono

Ohana AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/ohana%20au/chrono

- Some posts are untagged so you can find them by searching:

- “Both are amazing. I could see them doing both tbh”

- “I mean Naruto is definitely his own level of Too Much”

Foxy Naru: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/foxy%20naru/chrono

- Unincluded post can be found by searching:

- “Give me night shine and predator instincts”

- “The fist time Shikaku woke up his son and got growled at”

Vigilante Deku: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/vigilante%20deku/chrono

- Note: I included post can be found by searching “They’re honestly thankful for their mask so he can’t see how flustered they are”

Hunter Au: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/hunter%20au/chrono

Ya boy ye ally needs to go through and start naming things and organizing tags. Big rip

Also bless you I adore you

[hellcifrogs]

hiii im the anon who talked about doing family trees and just thought i'd add ive now spent several hours trying to come up with a family crest as well the fixation beam is real now for an actual question: if you had to assign an animal to the Non Animal clans in Narufox what would you choose for who and why?

Hey~ I actually HAVE answered something similar before and went to look for it to see if anything changed... But I wasn't actually trying to fit them into the AU

Then (based on vibes):

Sai would be a cat.

Sakura a tigress <3

Ino should be maybe a bird... I'm really not sure... could also be a boar I guess, but it's ino, I'd like her to be something pretty... (something that goes along nice with a tiger lol)

Lee would be a frog :}

Chouji would actually be a capybara <3

Shino a moth, you know those with wings that kinda look like eyes? Are those moths? One of those

The Hyuugas I think would be swans.

Tenten i think a red panda, because it's cute.

Makes sense to me for Sasuke also be a cat.

The sand trio are alrealdy tanukis, but I remember when I first watched Naruto I thought Kankuro's design was somehow related to a bat and I guess Temari could be a weasel (if the two were to be different animals).

Now (trying to make sense):

Sai - a Bird, I think I'm imagining a heron? Something graceful and white.

Sakura - something small like a squirrel or mouse.

Sasuke - people have mentioned both dragons and cats for the Uchihas, I think I'd go with them as tigers this time.

Ino - Boar, I guess, for obvious reasons.

Lee - I still like the frog, maybe monkey?

Chouji - I cannot let go of the capybara, the Akimichi could be butterflies by logic, but I feel like that would make them a "cousin clan" to the Aburame.

Hyuugas - actually I change my mind, Uchihas can be lions, Hyuugas will be the tigers

Tenten - Another small cute animal, for her, Sakura and Lee who aren't from big clans I can only imagine them being something small in comparison too.

[stinkb0mber]

List of nicknames

Vector = Leatherhead, LH, Headphones, HP, Croc, Sherlock, Inspector Gadget,

Charmy = Stinger, Buzzaroo, Buzz Lightyear, Buzzbee, Honeycomb, Bee Movie, Sting-a-ling, Honeycrisp, Buzzer

Cream = Hoptimist, Little Hoptimist, Thumper, Cream Puff, Cotton Ball, Cotton Tail, Buttercream, whipped cream, Floppy ears

Vanilla = Pure Vanilla, PV, Van, Vanilla ice, Bunzilla, Vanzilla

Gemerl: G-Bot, Robot Butler, Baymax, Clunky McBotface, Sweeptron 5000, Roomba Raptor, Robotler, G

Cheese = Cheesecake, Cheesy-Wheezy, Cheddar, Parmesan cheese, cheeseburger

Espio = Naruto, Sasuke, Dattebayo, Shikamaru, anything Naruto related, Kung Fu Lizard, Espionage, Shadowstrike, Ninja Gear

Amy = Hammerhead, Cherry Blossom, Pink Rose, Pinky, Pinkie Pie, Kirby, Primrose, Strawberry

Zik = Blueberry shortcake, Potato, Master Shifu

Zavok = Big Z, Spikes, Slash, Spitfire, Pyro, Thorny Devil

Tangle = King Julien, King J, Ringtail

Knuckles = Lego shoes, Chuckles, Red

Sonic = Speedy Gonzales, Flash, Pricklepants, Pinecone, Pin Cushion, Quills, Prickly Pear, Swift Blue, Zoom Boom, Rush Hour, Hyperspeed, Haystack, Pine Tree, Thorn Bush, Flashlight (Super Sonic)

Fiona = Foxy, Fi. Fio, Sassy Pants, Foxglove, Ginger, Vulpix, Swiper

Tails = Brain, Kowalski, Tod, Kyuubi

Zazz = Beanpole, Lanky Z,Chomper, Rocktrumpet, Snapdragon

Zor = Mr. Doom and Gloom, Dark Z, Gloomy Donkey

Starline = Freakline, Toothpaste Hair, Dr. Fashion Disaster, Brainiacs, Einstein

Blaze = Fire Fly, Firestorm, Starfire, Kitty Burnpaws, Espeon, Furblaze, Blazing gear, Scorchwhisker,

Zeena = Queen Z, Blizzard, Frostbite, Ice Queen, Ice Age, Matcha

Zomon = Slowpoke

Smithy = Mufasa

Claire = Rafiki, Mindmuffin

Mimic = Tentaclehead, Hank, Butterfly Knife, Shapeshifter, Sea Spider, Squidward, Killermari, Switchblades, Swiftblade, Slice ‘n Dice

Whisper = Sniper, Watchful Eye

Slinger = Gunslinger, Taco Gunslinger, Swinger Slingshot, Simba

Surge = Sparky, Sparkster, Megavolt, Sparkplug, Zippy, Thunderbolt, Sparkletoes, Sparklezap, Stir fry, Pikachu, Palm Tree, Pineapple

Kit = KitKat, Squirtle, , Fennekin, Liquidator, Aquaboy,

Belle = Tinker Belle

Marine = Rocky, One Piece, Tom Nook, Rascal, RJ, Trash Panda, Captain Quirky, Muddy Mudskipper, . Lootin' Lizalaroo, Skipper, Cannonball, Papaya

Sole = Headlines

Scoop = Scoops, Scoop-a-doodle, Knife Chao, Scooper-Looper, Scoodeloo

Silver = String Gummy, Silverbolt, Timezone, Silverweed

Jet = Skeight, X-Treme

Eggman =, Baldy McNoseHair, Eggnog, Humpty Dumpty, eggshell , omelette, Scrambled Egg, Mustachio, Squirrel Whiskers, Crustache, Whisker Whimsy

Shadow = Starfishhead, Rocket Skates, Shades, Sombra, Nightspeed

Omega = Squash Racket, Gearloose

Bill = Cipher, Perry, Agent P

Walt = Walt Disney, Joey, Boomerang

Barby = Barbecue

Honey = Sunmmerdew, Honeydew

Cassia = Cass Shard = Shark

Cosmo = Sprout

Larry = Jinx

[descendent-of-the-sixth-heaven]

*The stranger is annoyed and he punches Kenshin. Cherry gasps and they are starting to gather the attention from other guests. The children run towards the squirrel mascot, hiding behind him*

What have you done?!

*Sasuke protects the children, kenshin fights back, trying to keep cherry safe*

Kenshin: do not… mess with my wife.

[ikeromantic]

Entwined, Ch. 5

Part 5 of a multipart series. Mai has been reborn in the modern age after a full life in the Sengoku. The warlords as spirit animals find her again after 500 years of searching for her soul. This chapter contains some heavier topics including attempted sexual assault, misogyny, and sexual harrassment. Approx. 3700 words.

Part 1

Previous: Chapter 4

Mai woke early and packed all of the costumes for fitting into clothing bags. She felt surprisingly good after spending the previous day down with a headache. The events of the day prior were foggy to her though. There couldn’t have really been a smart squirrel handing her medicine. Though she did not doubt Mitsuhide had come by. The soup in her refrigerator and the medicine in the kitchen were proof he had.

His motivations were a mystery to her. Mitsuhide made it clear he thought of her as a coworker. Why would he do all of this? Mai thought about it as she walked over to a cafe to grab breakfast. He was so strange. Teasing one moment, and incredibly sweet the next. If she was being honest with herself, she -

“You.”

The voice was as cold and crisp as frost on a winter morning. 

Mai looked up, startled from her thoughts. There was a man in her path on the sidewalk. He was standing too close for comfort, and staring at her face as if he were studying it. As if that wasn’t awkward enough, the guy was probably - no, scratch that - definitely the prettiest man she’d ever seen. He had porcelain skin that practically glowed, a cupid’s bow mouth with lips the perfect rose-petal shade, long, delicate eyelashes, hair like spun gold, and his eyes - they were each a different shade. One was as blue as a clear sky, the other was emerald green. 

“I - ummm, do I know you?” She blinked, trying to find her big-girl words. It was hard to think in the face of so much pretty. He looked too gorgeous to be real and her brain was just not getting past that and into acting-like-an-intelligent-human mode. 

He reached out and grabbed her hand, pressing two fingers to her wrist. “Your heartrate is elevated.” He glanced behind him. “Sasuke, you told me she was recovered.”

Another man stepped out from behind the glamorous guy. This one was more normal, enough that Mai was able to take a regular breath anyway. He had glasses and a slight smile on his serious face. “Kenshin, it’s impolite to grab hold of women you don’t know.” 

The pretty one - Kenshin - released her wrist. “I am Kenshin. You are Mai, correct?”

“Yes?” She pulled her hand back and took a step away from him. 

“Good. I know you from -”

Sasuke, interrupted. “From your work, of course. My boss wasn’t expecting to see you this morning but we are both so happy we ran into you.” 

None of that sounded remotely convincing to Mai. Still, in case it was even remotely true, she couldn’t be rude. “I see. Well, good to meet you. I’m not in office today, but if you like,” she pulled a business card from her purse, “my contact information is here.”

Kenshin took the card, his lips twisting for a moment into a grimace. “I’m afraid I’ve frightened you again.” He sighed, something softening in his gaze. “I . . . apologize. Thank you for the information. I will meet with you another time.” 

Mai felt instantly terrible for making him feel bad, which was ridiculous of course! He’d accosted her on the way to breakfast but . . . there was a sadness about him that she could not miss, and it called to the gentleness in her. “It’s ok. I’m a little grumpy today. I’m not scared of you - just surprised.” She smiled. 

He froze for a heartbeat, his eyes narrowing. And then, he smiled back. It was a slight, tender curling upwards at the corners of his mouth. Barely there, and yet it changed his whole expression. “Always so kind,” he said in a voice so quiet that Mai was certain she wasn’t meant to hear. Then he brushed past her, striding away as if in a hurry.

Sasuke stayed where he was a moment longer. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling well today.” 

“How do you know I wasn’t well before?”

He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I uh, know Akechi. He mentioned you. To me and my boss.” His grin was sheepish, though the rest of his expression did not shift. “Sorry. I didn’t even introduce myself properly. I am Sasuke Sarutobi, and the man you just met is my boss, Kenshin Uesugi.”

Mai frowned. “And you’re friends with Mitsuhide?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Sasuke scuffed his foot. “But we know him. And he mentions you frequently, so I feel like I know you too. It probably is pretty weird to meet people who know about you when you don’t remem-ah - know them at all.” 

“It’s a little unsettling,” she agreed. “But you seem nice. Kenshin too, though he’s a little intense.”

Sasuke laughed. “He is. I’m glad you aren’t too offended. I’d hate to get on your bad side.”

Mai found herself laughing too. There was something about Sasuke that eased her mind. He felt like an old friend, though they’d only just met. For some reason, he made her think of storms. And stars. And . . . “Ninja?”

“What?” His expression went completely blank. 

She flushed, embarrassed at speaking a thought aloud. “N-nothing. I don’t know why that popped out. Ninja.” She laughed weakly, trying to think of some excuse that would make sense.

He shrugged. “Well, I do love the real history of ninjas. Maybe you just picked up on my secret obsession.” He blinked at her. Not a normal just-wetting-your-eye blink. It was an awkward, intentional, double-eye wink that made him look like he didn’t quite have control of his face. 

Mai wasn’t sure what that was about so she politely said nothing about it. “Haha, maybe? Just a guess. You have that, erm, look? The ninja look?” Which was complete nonsense. He was wearing a mid-grade business suit, one with a flattering cut, neatly fitted to his athletic frame, but the fabric was nothing special. Not even real wool . . . and - Mai cut off her seamstress-brain as she realized he was talking and she was just standing there grinning like an idiot.

“. . . so you aren’t completely wrong. But mostly I just fetch coffee, take notes, and stop my boss from going homicidal.”

“Ahahaha yeah . . . umm . . . by the way, I think he’s getting away from you. Is that ok?” She glanced back to see that Kenshin was completely gone from view.

Sasuke’s brows lifted slightly. “Oh no. I’ve got to go. But it was great seeing you. Really great.” And then he was gone. 

Mai felt strange as she continued to the cafe. She’d met so many odd people the last few weeks. People that were so comfortable to be around, as if they were already friends. There was a sense of pressure in her head as she mulled the familiarity of these strangers. Images and feelings surfaced just enough for her to be aware of them, and then were gone. 

She sat down with her chocolate croissant and coffee, barely tasting either as she pursued those . . . memories? Imagination? The worst was Mitsuhide. When she was around him, her emotions responded to him as if he were an old, precious friend. Or more. She felt vulnerable. Excited. Happy. 

Then Hideyoshi. He made her feel safe. Comforted. As if she knew she could ask him for anything and he’d do it. Which reminded her . . . she needed to text him. She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick hello. He replied so fast she wondered if he’d been in his messages already. 

‘Was thinking about you just now,” he wrote. ‘Want to go for a bike ride with me Saturday?’

She grinned at her phone. It was just like him to ask her out before she had a chance to ask him. ‘Sure. Where are we going?’

He sent her the information for a lakefront park not too far from her neighborhood. It was close enough to just ride a bike from her flat. More thoughtfulness from Hideyoshi. He really was great. 

With breakfast done, she went arranged a ride to the theater and went back to pick up the costumes. It was still early but she wanted to get there and have time to take all the outfits from their bags, smooth the fabric, and do a check for any issues like weak seams or misaligned patterning. 

Hopefully the fittings would go well and then she could focus on the remaining ‘special’ outfits for specific scenes. Tamamo had to look her best, afterall. 

Mai rang the doorbell at the theater but noone opened the door. After a second ring and five more minutes of waiting, she tested the handle and found it unlocked. The facility staff were probably there cleaning, and might have headphones on. Or someone was in the office ignoring her. Or . . . as she entered, she heard music coming down the hall that led to backstage. 

It got louder the closer she got to the dressing room, loud enough that it was kind of unpleasant. She struggled up the steps with her arms full of clothing bags. Whoever was rocking out back here would need to turn it down a bit while she got set up, she thought. 

She shoved the door open with her hip and then stopped, frozen in place. Mai couldn’t understand what she was looking at for a moment. There was Mr. Keiki. And there was an actress. He had a grip on her wrists and was leaning over her, though she was trying to pull away. 

Mai’s body moved before she finished thinking about what she was going to do. The costume bags fell to the floor and she grabbed up a prop sword. It was made of aluminum and brass and didn’t weigh much, but Keiki noticed when she slammed it against the side of his head. “Stop!”

He let go of the actress to grab for Mai. “You!”

She smacked him again, side-stepping his swipe.

The actress picked up a ceramic pot and threw it at him. Her teeth were bared in an angry snarl, cheeks smeared with dripping mascara, her hair wild. She looked feral and furious.

Mr, Keiki ran. Right past Mai and out the door. 

Mai set down the sword just in time for the actress to fling herself into Mai’s arms. 

“Oh. Oh my god. Thank you. I thought . . . I thought he was going to . . .” Her snarl had dissolved into sobbing.

“Are you ok?” Mai hugged her, though she didn’t even know her name. 

The actress nodded. “He - he didn’t - he tried but - but you came and - oh my god. I can’t believe he . . . I didn’t think he would - would really -”

Mai let her cry it out, patting her back gently until she calmed down enough to sit. “What happened?”

“He invited me for a private audition. I thought he wanted to give me a role but . . . he just wanted . . . he said if I -” She was starting to tear up again.

“I’m going to call the police, alright? We can’t let him get away with this.” Mai went to the pile of dropped bags and pulled out her purse. 

The actress waved her hands. “No! Don’t! Please. There’s no point. It’ll just mean no one will work with me.”

“Are you crazy? We can’t just . . .” Mai stopped, thinking about what the actress said. She was right of course. This wasn’t the first time Keiki would be accused. There had been a scandal less than a year ago. The woman involved disappeared and Keiki was still here, still in charge.

“It’s fine.” The girl wiped her face with her hands. “I’ll just make sure I’m not - not alone with him.” She gave Mai a tremulous smile. “Thank you for coming when you did. And for helping.”

Mai nodded. “I’m glad I came when I did. My name is Mai, by the way.”

“Sachie.” The actress stood up. “I should probably go. I want to get home. Clean up. Figure out . . . what to do next.”

“Alright. Here.” Mai handed her a card, jotting her personal number down. “If you want to talk, call me ok? And if you change your mind, I’d be willing to be your witness too.”

She took the card and tucked it away. “Thank you. Again.” Then she left.

Mai felt emotionally drained after all that, and still uncertain. She couldn’t stand the idea that Keiki would get away with this, but she couldn’t file a report if Sachie wasn’t willing. It was infuriating and depressing all at once. She hated that it was like this for women. That some guy with money could just - just -

“You look like you’re about to bite the head off a flower, little mouse.” Mitsuhide’s smooth as silk voice cut through her anger like cool water through coals. 

She turned from where she was hanging and prepping the costumes. “Sorry. It’s been a - a rough day.” 

Mitsuhide nodded, then frowned. “You have mascara stains on your shirt. And your sleeve is damp.” He stepped closer, his eyes narrowing as he inspected her more closely. “What happened?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it. I need to focus on the fitting. Besides, it doesn’t involve you.” Mai couldn’t imagine how Mitsuhide would react or if he’d even care. Sachie’s situation wasn’t unique, and he was an employee of the theater too. It would be hard for him to go against Keiki. Better to just leave it alone for now.

“I’ll leave it alone for now,” he said, echoing her thoughts as if he could read her mind. “But you will tell me about it later.” He touched her sleeve lightly, tracing the tear-stains. “Even if it doesn’t involve me, I can’t let my favorite seamstress carry a heavy burden all alone.”

She sighed. “Ok. Sure. But first, let’s get through the fitting and then I’ll think about it.”

The fitting went as well as could be expected. A few of the actors would need some hemming done or sleeves refitted, but not many. And despite herself, Mai was able to focus on the job and not on her worries. By the time everything wrapped up and the last actor left, she was almost relaxed. At least, until Mitsuhide fixed her with his gleaming eyes. 

“That went well, little mouse. Now. You will tell me why you were in such a state when I arrived.” 

“It’s not really my story to tell but . . . maybe you can give me some ideas. I guess. I just, I don’t know what to do.” Mai laid it out for him. What she’d heard before this, what she saw, and Sachie’s request. 

Mitsuhide listened quietly, sitting on a crate across from her while she spoke. He was silent when she finished, his expression distant. 

“So. What do you think? I can’t just let Mr. Keiki get away with this! He’ll keep doing it. Harassing girls, making our lives miserable.”

“Sachie is right though. There are a lot of men like him. Too wealthy and powerful to file a report on. Even in this era, money has a louder voice than justice.”

Mai frowned. “That’s it? That’s what you have to say?” She crossed her arms. “What if it was me? What if he grabbed me and held me down and forced himself on me? Then what? You’d shrug and say, oh, sorry Mai. Nothing we can do?” She felt like she might cry with frustration.

Mitsuhide grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’d kill him.” 

The way he said it, the easy certainty of it, sent a chill through Mai. Guys made all kinds of boasts about how they would do this or that to protect a friend or a sibling, and there was a sort of . . . almost guilty undertone. Like that’s what they would wish to do, but they knew it wouldn’t really come to it. Not so with Mitsuhide. His tone was nonchalant, his expression the same as if he’d promised to pick up lunch. 

He saw the way she looked at him and turned his head to look away. “Sorry, little one. I’m not a gentleman. I forget how kindhearted you are. But it’s true. I would kill him. And he would deserve it.”

She sighed, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in. “Yeah. Well. You aren’t wrong. But I still don’t know what to do.”

Mitsuhide was silent for a few breaths, then he faced her again, his lips curved in a sharp smile. “I have an idea. It will take a little time, and you’ll need to stay away from the theater.”

“Okay?” Mai lifted an eyebrow, curious.

“Don’t worry, little one. I’ll come visit while you’re banished.” He touched her cheek gently. 

“Pffft. I’m not worried about that,” she snapped, trying to hide how his light touch made her heart race. “I need some time to work on the sizing adjustments anyway.”

“Good. Because I don’t want you caught up in anything. And I don’t want to have to kill him. That’s much harder to get away with in this century.”

She laughed at his ridiculous phrasing. “In any century, Mitsuhide. Any we lived in anyway.”

He grinned. “Of course. Now . . . let me take you home. After hearing all that, I don’t like the idea of you getting in a car with a stranger.”

“Ummm, I hate to break it to you, but I can handle myself.”

“I know. But I’d rather you not need to.” His finger caressed the line of her jaw. “I knew a girl just like you a long time ago. She faced down a daim- a very wealthy business man and was almost assaulted. The pain it caused her hurt me to see, even though she handled herself just fine. I would prefer you not experience such a thing again.”

Mai leaned into his touch without noticing she was doing it. “Mm, well I never have so it’s not again. Not really. I am careful. Except -”She paused, considering him, sitting so close, touching her in a way that was really more intimate than a co-worker ever should. “Except with you, I guess.”

He smiled at her and there was a terrible vulnerability to it, one that sent images cascading through her mind. Yoshiaki, and Kyubei. Those names . . . who were they and why would that come to mind now? Why could she remember him holding her as she cried into his chest? That had never happened. Yet she could recall the feel of his muscles beneath the fabric, the smell of him, the light circles he’d made with his hands on her back as he comforted her.

“Mai, are you ok?” Mitsuhide’s smile was gone, replaced with worry. 

“Hm? Yeah. Yeah. I was just . . . you know how sometimes one thing reminds you of something else? Something that isn’t really real but . . . you know. Like a - a movie or something?” That had to be it. Her tired, emotionally drained brain was smooshing together some ex-boyfriend and movies and maybe a book she’d read. “Crazy, right?”

He tilted his head, studying her expression. “If you say so, little mouse. What were you thinking of?”

“Yoshiaki? I don’t know where I heard that name. And Kyubei.” She gave a tired laugh. “My brain is really fried.” There was no way she was going to tell him she remembered crying on him. Or that he smelled like crushed herbs and gunpowder. Nope. No way.

Mitsuhide didn’t laugh or even smile. His brows rose in surprise. “Yoshiaki?” He took her face in his hands, getting so close she thought he was going to kiss her. “Did you remember something?”

“N-no! I don’t, I don’t think so.” She tried to draw back but couldn’t move much. “Would you let me go?”

“I know when you are lying, little one.”

Mai sighed. “Fine! I remember crying on someone. And smelling gunpowder and - and some kind of spicy herbal smell.” There was no way he would know she meant him with such a vague reference. “Just random, right? I mean, what does gunpowder even smell like? Probably not rotten eggs and hot metal.” 

“That is exactly the smell.” His gaze was intense, like molten gold. Bright as sunrise, hot as a summer day. He let go of her and sat back. His hands were shaking as he clasped them in his lap. “A ridiculous thing to lie about.”

“Well, it’s kind of a weird thing to recall right now.” His reaction mystified her as much as those strange thoughts did. Maybe this was what it meant to have a nervous breakdown. 

Mitsuhide stood, his teasing, cynical smile back in place. “We should probably get you home. Or your office? Whatever you prefer.”

“The office. I think I’ll get some work done on the resizing before dinner. Tomorrow will be packed with wedding appointments so . . . yeah.” Mai smiled up at him, trying to banish the awkwardness. “And hey . . . thanks for offering to help with Keiki. I wish I knew what you were up to, but for some reason, I kinda trust you know what you’re doing.” 

“I appreciate your confidence.” His smile widened. “I know just how to deal with men like him. I am only sorry I didn’t decide to go ahead with it sooner.”

“You know I’m dying from curiosity, right?”

Mitsuhide chuckled dryly. “You’ll find out soon enough. I promise. Now, which of these bags should I carry out for you?”

“These and that one there and -” She remembered quite suddenly something she wanted to ask. “Hey, who the hell are Sasuke and Kenshin anyway? They said they knew you.”

He went still for a moment and then shook his head. “I do know them, yes.”

Mai put a hand on her hips. “And? Where do you know them from? Are they crazy weirdos I should watch out for? How well do you know them? Come on! You can’t just give me half an answer.”

“A long time ago through . . . work. Maybe. And as well as I can.” He grinned at her. “Good enough?”

“You are infuriating. Seriously.” She hefted the last of the costume bags and her purse. “I’ll just have to find out for myself, I guess. If that Kenshin guy calls me.” Then, in a stroke of pure evil she added, “I hope he does. He was really gorgeous. Like idol-level.” 

There was a slight tightening of Mitsuhide’s jaw before he replied. “He is a lady-killer. But I’m not worried, little mouse. I’m afraid I already know what you like, and he’s not your type.”

“What? Mitsuhide! You don’t even - hey! Where are you going? You can’t just say that and walk off!” But he could and he did and Mai chased after him with her questions. He was obviously teasing. Right?

Next: Chapter 6

[narutocharacterpolls]

ROUND THREE

ROCK LEE vs HYUUGA NEJI

Reasons for submission under the cut

Lee

ROCK LEE VS GAARA

kind as can be; willing to jump to action to help his fellow comrades even after going through a life-threatening, major surgery

practical and fashion-forward with his bright green onesie. Function over form, and is prepared at all times by carrying around a spare onesie he will give without question to anyone - even complete strangers

has a surprising edge to him at the beginning of the series; he was ready to severely maim anybody that he saw as a genius

more dedicated than anyone. Was forced to face his own mortality and make a life-or-death decision in the name of his dream, after a literal crushing defeat, and he chose to fight for it. Inspiring

embodies the ideals of original series Naruto. True underdog, had nothing going for him, came from nothing with no legacy or powers, was so disadvantaged that he physically could not meet the bare minimum abilities of his peers. But he worked harder than everyone else and proved that he can be a great shinobi despite all the adversity he faced

Sasuke had to copy Lee’s moves with his Sharingan to succeed during Chuunin exams

cute as a button. Come on.

his fans are dedicated and make amazing work, fanart and fanfic

Kishimoto said he was his favorite character to draw. Boom. Favoritism. Love to see it.

pairs well with everyone. Platonic or romantic, Lee has a great dynamic with other characters

his summer outfit from Guardian of the Crescent Moon Kingdom was the best outfit in the movie

gave us Metal Lee! Blessed us with Metal Lee, really

was the character to beat in the early series if you wanted to show how strong you actually are

Gaara vs Rock Lee was one of the most iconic fights in the series, and everyone remembers where they were when they first saw Lee drop his weights. He owned that fight so hard that people forget he lost.

was wronged by the series. He deserves to win as justice.

got [submitter] personally through the worst times; his ability to persevere face of adversity convinced me I could do it too. He wasn’t special and neither was [submitter], but we didn’t need to be. We can make ourselves great. If no one else got me, Rock Lee’s got me

he’s one of the first non-jutsu using ninja so make such a big impact

was the first person to actually harm Gaara

played a huge part in Gaara becoming a better person

he’s one of the only people that can catch up to Sasuke and easily rivals Naruto in Taijutsu

his kind, determined and cheerful attitude is a joy to watch

Rock Lee removing his weights is easily one of the most iconic moments in the entire anime

has helped several submitters feel better by simply thinking about how he wouldn’t want them to think like that

objectively would’ve made a better protagonist based on the themes alone

KICKS MAJOR ASS

wrecked Sasukes shit, I like Sasuke but that was really funny

he looks like a frog. Who doesn’t like frogs

inspired Sasuke

fights are always entertaining, they’re very well choreographed

he forgave Gaara for nearly killing him and nearly ending his dreams; he was never even mad at him

Rock Lee vs Sasuke was iconic

his heart is so full of love

never did anything wrong

had a squirrel befriend him

hard worker

good friend

rises to any challenge

when he does diss people they are the most brutal yet entertaining disses you ever hear

positive, weirdo, energetic, enthusiastic, joyful, chivalrous, motivated, dedicated, sweet

Lee and Neji had something homosexual going on

YOUTH !!!!

Neji

very tragic character

has so many layers

has a great arc (if you ignore the. yknow)

the eye imagery is very good

the inherent queerness of rebellion

carried the Hyuuga clan

awesome hair

disrecpected by the narrative

could've easily been a revolutionanist if the mangaka wasn't a coward

[kankuroplease]

Yes these people haha

Mangetsu - that him and and Suigetsu have one too many things in common as she would his type 💀

Orochimaru - wasted potential like so many of her relatives (maybe more as she can use wood release. How did he miss that?). Also her enthusiasm for travel reminds him of a younger Tora

Sasuke - he doesn’t get it, nor is he trying to

Karin - thinks she hugs way too hard but smells really good. Sweet and talented lady, she can probably find a nicer beau tho

Jugo - wouldn’t know what to think until meets her always present squirrel companion. Then he’d think she’s a kind person as she seems to love animals and being one with nature

[ikesenfantasy]

Ikemen Sengoku: What-If Collection Event - Warlord Pets

(Don't mind the photo) I wrote this fanfiction for fun where the warlords turn into their animal mascots. Since there wasn’t much spotlight for their beloved pets I thought I would write about them in a What-If Collection Event for April Fool’s Day on April 1st. Since the increase of the IkeSen roster I decided to take the time to add the additional six characters. So a total of all seventeen men in the IkeSen roster.

THE HERD PART 1

It was a pleasant evening like any other evening. Tomorrow everyone from the Usugi-Takeda forces along with Kennyo, Motonari & Kicho were going to visit Azuchi. Sasuke already visited me two days ago since Kenshin wanted to visit me. I thought we would all try something that will get everyone working together…or at least trying to. I already had some ideas but Sasuke hasn’t visited me to discuss it over with him. Maybe we’ll talk tomorrow.

“Ah the moon is so beautiful this evening; it would be nice to watch it with everyone. Time for bed.”

By the next morning I was the first in the war council room. Usually everyone would be here or I would be informed to show up but no one was here until the sliding door opened. I sat up straight but instead I got pounced.

“Oof! What in the world?”

It was then I felt something wet on my face. When I lifted up whatever was on top of me and tried to see who or what it was.

A TIGER?! SHOGETSU?!

“You were supposed to be at the manor with Masamune, what in the world are you doing here!? I better return you back to the manor as soon as possible or else Hideyoshi is going to blow a blood vessel.”

But the tiger was not the only animal that was in war council a whole colossal of animals flooded into the room. I didn’t even realize there was a monkey trying to attack the tiger that I was holding.

OH NO! Please no fighting!

I decided to stand up and try to reach for the monkey that was clinging to the back side of my kimono. But then I felt a nudge almost making me fall over. The perpetrator was a deer.

“OH GREAT! NOW IEYASU’S DEER WASABI!”

Circling around my ankle was a cat meowing and purring as if the fiasco I was in the middle of didn’t exist.

What is with all these animals? Something really isn’t right. The monkey on my back let out a yelp as it let go of my back who was trying to reach for the tiger. Now the monkey was flicking his tail that was sadly bitten by a fox. When the fox let go the monkey started chasing the fox. I better stop them.

I was so distracted by the chase I tripped over the cat and planted face first on the floor. A heard a soft snort and a boop from my cheek from a pig snout. What a mess. All of the Azuchi warlord pets are running amuck. I wonder why. I then heard the pig squeal as he ran off into a different direction being chased by something.

When I realized what happened I noticed a wolf chasing the poor piggy. On the wolf’s back was a squirrel. And behind them was a bear with a bunny and a hamster on its back chasing the other animals across the room.

Just when the wolf and bear were chasing after the pig and cat they nearly knocked over a jar. The peacock that flashed its feathers blocked their direction to the beautiful jar as if protecting something precious spooking any nearby it away.

I decided to try and chase after the animals stopping them from chasing each other around the room but it only made matters worse as the wolf started to fly into the air by a wallaby. A parrot flying overhead was shaking his head as the wolf collapsed on the ground after being air born by the wallaby’s kick.

The war council was in such disarray as animals were fighting among each other until I heard a loud scream that stopped the infighting and set all the animals on alert. They looked up and saw a hawk that was swarming around a lot more higher then the parrot. The hawk seated itself where Nobunaga would sit. Soon the animals that were most likely warlords from Azuchi began to position themselves in their spots. Now if I didn’t know better these were the warlords. How would they know to position themselves like their owners would sit. The parrot then landed just inches away from the hawk.

“Finally…now that they have settled down we can finally get down to business.” The parrot spoke.

I looked at the parrot who spoke and truly it sounded like Kicho and not Fuka. It was unbelievable. There was no way.

“N-no way…Kicho? Is that you?” I can’t believe I’m speaking to Kicho the parrot. Interesting ring to it if I do say so myself.

“Yes. It seems I’m the only one who can talk. Unlike the others. I don’t know what or how this happened. From the looks of it we all woke up this way.”