#my boyfriend and I aren't your verbal punching bags.

[fandoms-writings]

I'm truly tired of being friends with people who treat my friendship and my presence like a convenience. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to get back to me. I'm going to stop reaching out if the effort isn't matched. I'm going to cut you off if you can't take responsibility for your actions and if you blow up at the smallest of things.

I am trying to protect my peace. And if you disturb that - well, then there's the door.

[hischierswhore]

you're the problem

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

TW: asshole!Mason // cursing // verbal arguments // if i missed anything, please let me know

A/N: listened to "blame's on me" by Alexander Stewart on repeat while writing this. apologies in advance !!

"I'm fucking stressed, Y/n, and you're not making it any better!" Mason shouted as you sat on one of the kitchen stools, holding your head in your hands in attempt to ease your growing migraine.

"I can't fucking do this anymore" You mumbled to yourself as your made your way up the stairs and to your bedroom, locking the door once you were inside. You heard Mason shout "Just run away from your problems like you always do".

You brought your knees to your chest as you sobbed on your bedroom floor. How could he be so insensitive and so self-centered when all you did was show him the love & support he craved so desperately?

This had been going on for the past month. You arriving home from work and immediately being put in a screaming match with your boyfriend of 2 years, though it was more of him screaming at you and you just becoming his personal punching bag.

You tried your hardest to stay. You tried to stay for him, to help him change and better himself, but it seems as though every night he goes back to his old ways. You understood he was frustrated with himself because of his performance lately, but that shouldn't be any reason for him to take it out on you.

"Why do I even bother?" You asked yourself as you cried again, tears rolling down your cheeks as you hugged your legs tightly to your chest as some form of protection. You stayed like this for a few moments before opting to grab your suitcase and leave.

You knew if you stayed you'd only cry harder. You opened the door to hear Mason speaking to someone downstairs. You assumed it was Ben or Declan, but you didn't care. Nothing he said or did could change your mind to make you stay. You'd given up, you were done.

You carried your suitcase down the stairs, immediately causing Mason to turn his attention to you.

"I'll call you back" Mason spoke into the phone before ending the call and placing it on the counter. You tried to rush down the stairs and make your way to the front door without having to interact with him, but it seems as though an extremely heavy suitcase filled to the brim with everything you'd ever left at his house wasn't the easiest thing to carry down a flight of stairs.

"Where are you going?" Mason questioned when you finally reached the first floor.

"As far away from you as possible" You spoke dryly, not wanting to interact with him at this moment.

"My love, I'm sorry for-" Mason spoke but was interrupted by you.

"Save it, Mason. You do this shit all the time. You get frustrated because you're not performing well on the pitch and then you verbally take your frustration and anger out on me, and I'm fucking sick of it. I've tried to help you, Mason. I really have, but I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of being your personal punching bag. I'm just done" Tears stained your face once more as you voiced your frustrations to him.

"I didn't know you felt that way"

"Because you're too busy worrying about everything else in your life but me! Not once have you asked me if I'm okay since this whole thing started, Mason. I've lost all hope in this" You said as you gestured between the two of you.

"Look at me, Mason" He looked straight at you as you spoke.

"This isn't the man I fell in love with. This isn't you" Mason's eyes began to fill with tears as reality was setting in; he was losing you.

"For the longest time, I've been blaming myself for things that aren't my fault, and I'm only now realizing that it's you. You're the problem, Mason. It's your fault" You grabbed your suitcase and dragged it towards the front door, leaving Mason frozen in shock at what was happening. With your hand on the door handle, you turned around one last time.

"I hope you resolve whatever the hell is going on with you. Goodbye, Mason" Mason was still in shock at the foot of the stairs. Your words echoed through his mind as you left his house.

You packed your suitcase in the back of your car and drove back to your apartment. Your mind wandered throughout the car ride, trying to come up with different scenarios that could possibly cause Mason to change. He may say or do something that will pull you back to him, but as the drive came to an end, you realized there was nothing he could do to bring you back into his life.

A voice deep within you wished there was, but as much as you wanted to believe in him, you couldn't. You had to let go and move on.

As soon as you arrived home, you jumped in the shower, ignoring your reflection staring back at you with nothing but longing in its eyes. No amount of water washing over your body would make those emotions disappear.

-

You laid across your bed with a blanket wrapped around you, wishing things would just go back to the way they used to be. You missed the loving & affectionate Mason, the one you'd fallen in love with. But those days were gone. Those days were long gone.

Mason had broken your heart. It didn't matter how many people you loved, you could never love another person like you loved him. That realization sent you spiraling into the darkest place you'd ever been in. Your brain couldn't think straight. The sudden loss of everything you thought you'd had all along destroyed you.

You began crying uncontrollably, clutching onto your pillow as if it were all that was keeping you alive. The moment you closed your eyes, your memories flooded your mind and that was enough to drive you into a state of despair. You let yourself drown in the memories.

You cried until you couldn't breathe. You cried until your throat hurt so bad it made you nauseous.

Everything had led you here. Everything you loved and cherished. Every happy memory you'd built up with Mason that seemed so easy and effortless until it had all disappeared. All your dreams seemed futile and unreachable after the events that took place earlier today.

-

Mason couldn't even fathom the pain you were in. The pain you were in because of him and his actions. He never realized what he was putting you through. He attempted to reach out, but it was no use; you'd blocked him on every platform there was. You wanted him out of your life, completely out of your life.

How could he possibly understand the type of grief he'd caused you? How could he comprehend the depths of sadness you were feeling right now?

He'd broken you and now he wanted nothing more than to fix everything he had done. To hold you close and tell you he was sorry. But he couldn't apologize for the mistakes he'd made; he hadn't been there for you during all of it. He hadn't held you while you sobbed or comforted you after one of your many arguments.

He'd lost you for good.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I stumbled across an interesting article the other day that was quite eye-opening:

Now, I am aware I have issues, and those issues stem from receiving verbal and emotional abuse from one of my parents from childhood even through my college years, and a little bit past that. Nearly 2/3rds of my life, to be honest. I am still attempting to heal but it's not easy, not in the slightest.

Reading through the article reminded me of two things:

I am not alone and LOTS of people endured emotional and verbal abuse while growing up (as well as other kinds of abuse in some cases).

I can see exactly why it's such a challenge to overcome these mental and emotional scars because I have a bunch of issues.

In case you don't want to read the whole article or just want a quick reference right here without having to go back and forth, this is a sort of summary version of the list (based on my interpretations). I bolded everything that applies to me and...well, you'll see:

Blaming yourself or taking the blame for other people's actions/behaviors.

Overthinking due to immense self-doubt.

Expecting perfection from yourself and setting unrealistic goals because of it.

Believing your problems don't matter when compared to everyone else's.

Bottling up your emotions.

Afraid to try anything new out of fear of disappointing friends and family.

Anger issues as a result of anger being directed at you as a child.

Putting on a brave face and acting like you're untouchable and unbreakable to convince others and yourself (temporarily) that you have it together (which is a lie).

Flinching when people try to touch you (in a friendly manner, like a hug or pat on the back) or when someone raises their voice (kind of like a form of PTSD from your childhood abuse).

Belittling, insulting, and/or scolding yourself for being emotional.

Fear of abandonment (including fear of people dying and leaving you).

Always/often saying, "yes," to everyone out of fear of getting into trouble (fear of conflict/confrontation due to past abuse).

Relying on others to assure you whether or not you're making the right decisions.

Shutting down emotionally when anyone raises their voice to you.

Social awkwardness: being too shy and anxious or being too friendly and giddy when it comes to meeting new people.

Whenever you find yourself in an argument or even if someone just raises their voice (maybe not even at you), you immediately feel like cowering out of fear.

Talking fast and over-explaining due to being ignored, ridiculed, and/or talked over by your parents/family.

Fear of growing close to anyone (be it as a friend or as a romantic partner) due to abuse and betrayal from parents/family while growing up. So, you're often lonely but afraid to reach out to anyone out of fear of being mistreated.

Remaining quiet in conversations and/or refusing to start conversations due to being mistreated for speaking up as a child.

Fear of authority, worrying if even a simple talk with your teacher or boss may be the result of you being in some sort of trouble. So, those with "power" remind you of your abusive parents, who had power over you and abused that power regularly.

Well, 19 out of 20. That's... a lot.

It's scary to see just how much I'm dealing with (and have dealt with most of my life) mentally and emotionally all because one of the two people I expected to love me unconditionally chose to be a terrible, overbearing, short-tempered parent.

This is one of the many reasons why I think women who want to get tubal surgery should be allowed to without hitting so many roadblocks. Don't come at me with religious beliefs of physicians, or "some women regret it, so you might, too!" or "you haven't had kids so you don't know the joy!"

I. Don't. Want. Kids.

I'm selfish, ok? I like money, like my free time, like sleeping in and napping, like being able to go where I want and when I want, want to be able to travel to goddamn Japan someday without having kids dragging me down the whole way there, I love gaming and want to keep getting the best gaming PCs I can afford...

I mean, at least I -- and other women who want to have tubal surgery -- are being responsible and realizing that parenting isn't for us and it's not fair to just put unwanted children into the adoption system time and time again. I'd rather be safe than sorry, you know?

And the same goes for other types of birth control. Women shouldn't be shamed for wanting such things, although it does still happen. I realize that parenting isn't for me and I'd be an awful parent -- not on purpose, mind you, but I'm too anxious, depressed, yet goal-oriented and self-indulgent to be a good parent. So, wanting long-term or even permanent birth control is a very responsible decision, I think. I'm avoiding a problem that doesn't need to happen if that makes sense.

But the article also made me realize something else, and it's based on what read and learned over the years:

You don't need to apologize to anyone for your existence, nor do you need to explain yourself to everyone who questions every detail about you. You are you, you have your privacy, you have your personal issues to deal with, and you don't owe nosy people anything.

You need to take care of yourself, and if anyone tries to get in the way and make you feel uncomfortable, then you need to avoid them because they aren't going to make things any easier for you. I'm much more aware now of how people are, and I now avoid interacting with those who display abusive/toxic traits like that of my one parent. I don't need more of that kind of crap in my life, certainly not from strangers who may claim to be a friend or my boyfriend or whatever.

No, I am me, I can be me, and I don't need anyone else trying to take their problems out on me. I hope others also realize this, that they don't need to be someone's punching bag (verbally or physically or both), and that it's not your fault if you were abused: the abuser is to blame, no matter what the excuses are. You are not responsible for an abuser's behavior, care, or past. Abusers need to help themselves and you need to help you.

[capri-ramblings]

Anon asked: i saw the hc of jade+Floyd with s/o scared of them getting tired of them, and I was wondering if you do something similar to that but instead could i have Jade+Floyd joking about leaving s/o, but s/o is kinda numb when hearing it? Like..S/o had people leaving her often and they aren't surprise when they hear the tweels say that. How would their reaction be??

[ "It's nothing new to me" ]

Jade Leech

- Jade was taken aback by your suddenly bland reaction

- He'd felt in the mood of teasing you after a long day at Mostro Lounge, subtlety going about how clingy you've been and how if your roles were put into the natural scheme of aquatic creatures, you'd never last long with an eel

- "You're like a little scallop, clinging so desperately onto something you'd eventually slip off from,what am I to do with you?"

- "Oh,well, you can leave whenever. It won't be my first time anyways"

- He meant it as a friendly jest, something to make you flustered and puffed out your cheeks in an attempt to get back at him

- Jade would have never done it in the first place if he knew where you were coming from. He always knew you had a tendency to yearn for his attention and praises, always pushing your limits just to please him, and despite the emotional care he had to attend to with you, He was also very grateful that someone would put into so much effort for his sake.

- He'll mentally scold himself for being too comfortable with you, assuming you wouldn't have gotten hurt from his words even if they weren't true

- "You know I didn't mean that,___." Is the first thing he'd say, coming over to your side to lean down and smile at you. It might be a little intruding given your already upset state but if you paid attention, you'd see how genuinely guilty his eyes were

- You can pull away or even lash out at him verbally, and Jade wouldn't blame you,in fact, he'd take anything you threw at him.

- He's not the most comforting partner to have, but he has his way of making you feel better, and that includes using him as a punching bag if you'd like

- Jade would never give this leniency to just anyone, but you were his precious sea turtle, and he'd never forgive himself if he made you think his feelings for you weren't true

Floyd Leech

- He must've been in a bad mood, you knew he had a habit of lashing out on you whenever he was in that mental state

- But the sadistic grin and the words that fell from his mouth then felt too real,too close to home, you couldn't help but lower your head and try your best to not cry

- "Lil shrimpy is like the mold that grows on corals, you just don't know when to stop do you?"

- Don't let it get to you. That was the mantra you kept playing in your head, because if you cried it'll make things worst.

- "If I'm that much of a bother then I can just leave. You're not the first person to tell me I'm annoying."

- You didn't mean to sound so flawed and vulnerable, but your chest felt like it was being coiled by hot steel and your fingers felt like breaking from how hard you clenched them on your lap.

- If the words weren't rushed, then it was just the adrenaline pumping in your veins that made the scene seem too fast to comprehend

- Floyd doesn't get it at first, watching how your body is shaking and how your voice sounded all muffled. He thinks you're being small and vulnerable like you always are, so he brushes off your reaction to his callous words pretty quickly

- It's only after a few days that he'll notice how distant you were from him and how you rarely came to hang out at Mostro Lounge

- Still, it's Jade who points this out and it's only after Floyd repeats what he said to you that his twin tells him why you were avoiding him

- He doesn't take it that well, wondering why you didn't just tell him rather than being all troublesome

- Again,Jade has to tell him that as a boyfriend he shouldn't go around throwing his words at someone without knowing if it'll hurt them or not and Floyd would revert to his bitter moodswings before abandoning his shift to look for you

- He isn't the best at apologizing, nor will he actually say the words "Sorry" but Floyd doesn't like it that you're not spending time with him given how you know how much he likes you in the first place. It just doesn't make sense for him, if two people liked being around each other,then shouldn't that be something they did often?

- Floyd would probably call you a bit dumb for not just telling him you were upset, but then when you frown at him or even lash out, he'd just stare at you and say he likes you better when you're smiling

- And if that doesn't make you flustered, then maybe the thought of him chasing you around just to get your attention again will.

[roseyserpents]

Delicate

Summary: after you lose everything you made friends with some Serpents, but you worry your new feelings would ruin what you have

Word count: 2,616

Warnings: mentions of sex (that's about it I think)

A/N: This is a song fic with Taylor Swift's Delicate! this is the first fic I've posted in a few months so it might be pretty bad :|

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

You used to be at the top of the social ladder in Riverdale High. You walked the halls with Cheryl Blossom and Reggie Mantle and the like. You were a co-captain of the Riverdale Vixens, proudly wearing the uniform and looking down at the people who could only wish to be like you. To be someone everyone knew and was invited to every party. Someone who could get a boyfriend with the snap of her fingers and get everything she wanted just by saying it. You used to be that person. Until your mom lost her job sending you both tumbling from the richest parts of the Northside to Sunnyside trailer park. It was nothing like your old life where you had a closet the size of the entire trailer and any type of food you had a craving for. Now you had a small dresser and two cabinets that held Cheerios, Graham crackers, and ramen noodles. You traded your high and mighty life at Riverdale High for being the new soft kid from the Northside at Southside High. It was as if you were standing on the top rung of the ladder and someone pushed you off, sending you crumbling down to the bottom not even getting a grip of it. Your reputation in Riverdale was ruined.

That's why you were surprised when on your third day in hell a certain Serpent named Fangs Fogarty decided to take a chance on the Northsider that stook out like a sore thumb and invited you to sit with him and his friends at lunch. Fangs didn't have much of an issue with your past but it took the others about three months for them to consider you worthy of being called a Southsider. One of the people who scoffed and rolled their eyes every time you appeared or spoke was Sweet Pea. But he even came around to you eventually, you becoming part of the group. Part of the Southside.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

But you can make me a drink

You were finally okay with your new life after a year and a half when the news of Southside high closing traveled around. You were sent a letter in the mail that you would be transferred to Riverdale High effective by Monday of the next week. Riverdale High where everyone who used to adore you would now glare down at you for being one of the transfered students. Riverdale High where you knew there were rumours about what happened to your family and you were had been receiving hate for it. As soon as you read the letter you threw open the door to your trailer and made your way to the Whyte Wyrm, sitting down with a heavy sigh and your face twisted into an expression of rage.

"See the letter?" Sweet Pea asks, appearing in front of you from behind the worn bar counter. You don't reply, simply nodding and drumming your stiff fingers on the wood. "It'll be fine. You already know everyone."

"You don't understand." You say with a humourless smile and a shake of your head, "They're ruthless to anyone with remote connections to the South. I'm not going to be able to walk the halls by myself without getting the shit beaten out of me."

"Serpents wouldn't let that happen." Sweet Pea says referring to you joining four months prior. "That's a promise."

"Might be a hard one to keep." You sigh. "Can you make me a drink?"

As anticipated by you the first two months of being back at Riverdale High was horrid and filled with you getting pushed becoming the students physical and verbal punching bag. They threw words at you about how now you're Southside Serpent scum and no longer one of them. But eventually most of the Northsiders got bored of bullying you all and dropped it, mostly only Bulldogs and Vixens starting feuds. You'd eventually made friends with a few Northside kids you'd never noticed when you went there through Jughead including Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, and Archie Andrews.

"So, I convinced my parents to let me use our lake house for the break." Veronica says as she sits down in the student lounge. "I figured we could all use it as a romantic getaway."

"Sounds great." Betty smiles for her and Jughead.

"You guys have fun with that." You sigh, leaning back in the couch.

"Aren't you going to come Y/n?" Archie asks, everyone turning towards you.

"I would but I don't exactly have someone to go with." You answer.

"Why don't you bring Sweet Pea?" Jughead suggests, raising his hand that rests on Betty's shoulder.

"Sweet and I- we're not like that. We're just friends." You stutter, trying to stop the heat creeping up your necks and onto your cheeks. You didn't want to even admit to yourself you'd grown to like the tall, quick tempered Serpent as more than a friend. The butterflies that flew in your stomach every time you saw your friend scared you because you knew it would change things so you stuffed the feelings way down inside of you and locked them in a box. That nobody was allowed to unlock or even see. Those feelings were off limits and would just turn everything into a mangled knot.

You see Veronica and Betty have a conversation with their eyes before turning towards you. "Bring him, it'll be a friend thing instead of a romantic getaway."

"No, you guys can have your date thing I'll just hang out with the Serpents." You reject, not wanting an extremely awkward week or to ruin theirs.

"Hangout with that Serpent with us." Veronica says with her "I'm not going to stop bugging you until I get my way" look. You sigh and press your lips into a line, looking between the two of your friends before speaking.

"If you guys can convince him to go, I'll go." You finally give immediately regretting it as the two of them look to Jughead.

You'd decided to leave to go to your locker, the others waiting for you to be out of ear shot before talking.

"Y/n and Sweet Pea like each other right?" Archie asks, turning to Jughead.

"Oh yeah definitely." He answers, stuffing a Dorito in his mouth.

"Which means we need them both to come." Veronica adds, quirking a brow as she smiles.

Your stomach flipped at the texts as you realized you just accepted to go on basically a date with Sweet Pea that you were technically forced to do. Still in disbelief the next morning you packed a bag filled with clothes and your basic necessities before walking outside, confused when you see Sweet Pea standing there.

"I was expecting to meet you there." You say, explaining your expression when he quirks a brow at you. He shrugs, hand scratching the back of his neck before falling back to his side.

"I figured I could give you a ride." He says, gesturing to his motorcycle leaning on its stand.

You look to your own propped against your house and look back at his, debating the decisions before walking towards Sweet Pea. He flashes you a small smile before swinging his leg over the seat, you doing the same and wrapping your arms around his torso. He revs the engine before pulling away from the trailer park and makes his way to the lake house using the directions Veronica had sent that morning. You tried to ignore how your heart seemed to stop whenever you remembered how close the two of you were, trying to keep your focus on the passing woods.

After about forty-five minutes you slowed to a stop in front of a house the size of the entire Sunnyside trailer park. The others approached you as you and Sweet Pea gaped at the building.

"You made it!" Veronica smiles, taking back your attention. "You two can set your stuff in your room."

"Room?" You ask, slight panic rising in your chest at the lack of a mention of separate rooms.

"My uh parents only gave me permission to use three so we're all two to a room." She says, not fully convincing you but you say nothing else knowing it would be a pointless conversation as you follow her into the house. "Last door on the right." Veronica says, you nodding and walking up the stairs with Sweet Pea behind you.

"Holy shit." You hear Sweet Pea breathe as you step inside. "This room is as big as four trailers."

There was a queen sized bed on one wall facing a wall made of windows with a door leading to a balcony. Another door sat on the wall next to it leading to a bathroom, the room complete with themed decorations. You both set down your bags and meet the others downstairs, the sun setting below the lake outside as you made small conversation and played a few games.

About an hour after the sun was out of sight you were all sitting in the hot tub with a drink in hand. While the others sat practically on top of one another you and Sweet Pea stayed a safe distance apart sometimes your arms brushing against each others causing your breath to hitch in your throat. You'd easily finished two drinks trying to loosen up and not be so tense when everyone was having fun. You just couldn't stop thinking about every little thing Sweet Pea did from the smile that grazed his lips when the others made jokes to how you could swear he was getting closer to you.

Events seemed to start blurring into each other, you hardly being able to give any of your focus to the others conversation. You hardly realized you were leaning against Sweet Peas side, his arm lazily hung around your shoulders.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." You excuse yourself climbing out of the hot tub.

"Are you okay?" Betty asks, observing your wobbled way of walking.

"I'm fine." You say, waving a hand at her right before slipping, twisting your ankle and landing hard on the stones around the water. You hear multiple people climb out as you groan and turn over on to your back, squinting your eyes.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Sweet Pea asks, helping you sit up as you rub your head.

"Totally." You groan, looking around at the others who give you looks of concern. "I'm probably gonna go uh lie down."

With that you attempt to stand up but wince and lift your leg at the pain from putting pressure on your ankle.

"Need help?" Pea asks, standing up next to you. You nod and he wraps an arm around you, trying to help you walk but you find it awfully hard to hop on one leg in your state. He shakes his head before scooping you up in his arms, carrying you the rest of the way inside. He gets you upstairs, setting you down on the bed but falling over and ending up on top of you, his cheeks burning bright red.

"I uh..." He says, opening and closing his mouth to finish his sentence but no words come out.

Third floor on the West Side, me and you

Handsome, your mansion with a view

Do the girls back home touch you like I do?

Long night, with your hands up in my hair

You look into his eyes, your hand coming up to cup his face before bringing your lips to his. He hesitates a moment before returning the kiss, moving himself fully above you. The once small kiss quickly turns heated, your hands roaming his body. Your lips trail down to his neck, sucking on the soft skin. His hands lace in your hair, tugging on the y/h/c locks occasionally.

That night you did something you'd never imagined would happen between you and Sweet Pea, not even thinking about how many boundaries were bring broken and how you weren't thinking of your delicate friendship.

The next morning when you woke up you immediately felt yourself go hot clammy finding your head on Sweet Peas chest with nothing but the bed sheets separating your skin from his. Your heart tightens in your chest as you back away from him, having to pry his arm from around your waist before retreating to the opposite side of the bed. Sweet Pea groans and opens his eyes as he sits up, the blanket falling off of his upper body as he does so. Your cheeks and ears burn bright red when he looked to you, your eyes holding his for a quick moment before looking down at the mattress.

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it chill that you're in my head?

'Cause I know that it's delicate

Is it cool that I said all that

Is it too soon to do this yet?

'Cause I know that it's delicate

"Shit..." He mumbles. "Look I um-"

"It's fine." You cut him off in a small voice. You didn't mean to sound so scared but you were utterly terrified of this ruining everything the two of you had. "I just... I don't want this to change anything."

Sweet Pea nods, meeting your eyes again. You don't know why it hurt you to see regret slightly on his.

"I like you, Sweet Pea." You say, everything in you freezing as you say the thing you had barely admitted to yourself. You don't see any reaction on his face prompting you to rant out of nerves. "I thought that if I just ignored it it'd be fine but I can't get you out of my head. I know that you will probably not want to see me after this and I understand that it's just-"

Sweet Pea cuts you off by cupping your face, his thumb running over your cheekbone. Your mouth went dry and you couldn't get any words out as your eyes scanned his face finding something you couldn't quite identify. One of the things on your mind was how you were practically shattering the delicate relationship you had. You felt like you were ruining everything and you just lost one of your closest friends because you were stupid and couldn't keep your emotions to yourself.

"I'm sorry. For all of this." You manage to say.

"Don't be." He says quietly. Neither of you quite understood the reason for being so quiet, maybe not to scare the other away with anything above a whisper. In seemingly slow motion he leans forwards until his lips are on yours soft and warm in a delicate kiss made of rose petals. Everything between you two was delicate from the way his hand gently held your face to whatever your relationship was now. But something that wasn't delicate was the fireworks you were seeing even though your eyes were closed, the colours exploding between the two of you. You both pull away, not getting very far as your foreheads press against each others.

"You're okay with this?" Sweet Pea asks, his breath lightly hitting your face.

"Of course." You smile before connecting your lips again, finally breaking through that delicate phase of your friendship and into a relationship that you'd always thought would never happen in that bed, a kiss being the bond in front of the sunrise over the lake making the whole moment even more perfect and warm and golden.

Cause I know that it's delicate

Delicate

[jaex2]

Failing | Yoongi Imagine

I was listening to the song "I Wanna Know" by The Hunna and was instantly inspired to write this AU. It's such a bop, I encourage you all to listen!

Preview: You've been feeling neglected, and you're ready to give up. But, Yoongi doesn't give up easily.

Genre: Mafia/gang AU, some angst and fluff

Warnings: Nothing much, mentions of violence/drugs

****

You were fully aware things had not been going well the last 6 months. The gang had lost some valuable hideouts to rivals, a couple members defected, and some profit loss. When things aren't going the way Yoongi wanted them to, everyone around him paid the price. You couldn't remember how many people you've watched him verbally degrade and physically slap around.

You were lucky enough to have the prestigious position of being his girl, so he didn't do anything that drastic to you. It was more like...emotional warfare. He came to bed late, left early, and probably had only spoken two or three sentences to you recently. And they weren't exactly warm and fuzzy.

You didn't require much affection. You knew getting into this lifestyle you weren't going to get a boyfriend who brought you home roses and took you to nice restaurants. Those things didn't matter to you anyway. The only thing that did was him.

It was Friday evening at about 10pm when there was a light knock on your door.

"Come in?" You said hesitantly, confused who would be knocking on the door.

"Hey." Hoseok's voice rang out as he slid the door open.

"Oh, hey." You half smiled; it was really the best you had to give anyone these days.

"I hadn't seen you in a few days, I got nervous." He admitted sheepishly, standing in the door way.

"Yeah, I haven't wanted to be around anyone. Is Yoongi around?" You asked cautiously, though you knew the answer.

"He left around 7pm, saying he had to take care of something. Just took a couple guys and one of the cars." Hoseok shrugged, looking as defeated as you felt. He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

"Don't take it personally. I haven't seen him for more than five minutes in the 6 months." You replied.

"Wow, really?" Hoseok looked shocked. "I always figured you were his weak spot."

"I used to be, but I don't know whats happening. He doesn't speak to me, hell he doesn't even look at me if he sees me around the compound." You spat, clearly feeling the emotions you'd been shoving down rising up.

"You've never called it a compound before." Hoseok pointed out. Fine, technically it was a mansion. But it was the main base for the gang, as well as where you resided with Yoongi.

"I can't call it home. He's what makes it home. And he's not really here." You said. "I can't take it anymore."

If you were a crier you'd probably be crying, but this life had hardened you.

"I think I'm going to leave." You finally said.

"That's crazy, Y/N." Hoseok retorted, practically choking on his saliva.

"Is it? Would he even notice?" You replied, looking at him.

"Of course he would. And how would you even get out with all the guards? And where would you go?" Hoseok looked slightly panicked.

"Pretend you didn't talk to me tonight. You can't be liable for knowing information about me if I'm successful." You stated, standing up. "Just go."

Hoseok stood up with you, and stared at you hard for a few moments. "Don't do this to him."

"He's fine." You crossed your arms tightly.

"We both know he wouldn't be...It's just a phase." He tried to defend his best friend and boss.

"6 months isn't a phase! I was patient. The first few months, I figured he'd snap out of it. But it's been half a year. How much of my life am I supposed to spend being ignored by the man I love?" You asked softly, avoiding Hoseok's gaze.

Without another word, he nodded slightly and left your room. He couldn't bare the idea of saying goodbye and he was hoping you would calm down and change your mind.

You felt a moment of bravery after finally getting your feelings off your chest. You grabbed a bag out of the closet and starting shoving clothes into it. You couldn't think clearly on what you needed. You looked around the room frantically, trying to figure out what to take. Your head was so foggy with sadness and fear that you couldn't collect yourself enough to form a plan.

The door crashing open caused you to jump and drop the bag, spinning to face the bedroom door.

"Y/N." Yoongi said flatly, looking down at the bag.

You swallowed hard and couldn't find words to spit out. What were you going to say? You were caught red handed.

His eyes never left the bag.

"What are you doing?" He asked, low and stern. Still not meeting your eyes.

You started to stutter out an answer but he cut you off.

"You...were going to leave me?" His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He tilted his head to the side, and waited for an answer, no emotions on his face.

"Yes." You answered, regaining your composure. You straightened your shoulders and stared him down confidently. Now wasn't the time to come off weak.

To your surprise, he chuckled lightly. You watched him carefully.

He grabbed the picture frame off the table next to the door and threw it, the sound of the glass shattering made you jump.

"Yoongi..." You warned, trailing off.

"It's been almost three years, and you're going to leave over a rough patch?!" He shouted, and you were sure the whole compound could hear him.

"A rough patch!?" You yelled back, your fiery spirit matching his. "It's been 6 months! How long did you expect me to deal with this shit?"

"Deal with what?! You live comfortably. You don't have to work. You have more money then most people ever see in their life." He explained, exasperated, fists balled up at his sides.

"Well, I don't care about any of those things! All I wanted was you to love me!" You screamed at him.

He span around and punched the wall behind him. You heard a crack, presumably his knuckles, but he didn't falter. He leaned his forehead against the wall and punched it one more time. When he retracted it you could see the blood dripping down his fingers.

"All of this...because you think I don't love you?" He whispered. He turned around and there were tears in his eyes. You had never seen Yoongi cry. You don't think anyone had.

You swallowed all the mean things you had to spit out the moment you saw tears dripping down his cheeks.

"Why do you think I've been so absent? It's because I was failing, Y/N. I was failing you and everyone that relies on me. How could I face you when everything I promised could've been lost? I put my head down and went to work to preserve our future. I'm sorry that that was uncomfortable for you, even though I was the one risking my life day in and day out so some day I would be able to look you in the eye again!" He shouted, stepping towards you, grabbing your face with his hands. "Those were all things out of love for you, whether you're strong enough to acknowledge it or not." He growled, his face inches from yours.

You breathed out, locking eyes with him. "You could've included me! I would've been there for you." You exclaimed, wrapping your hands around his wrists and pulling them off your cheeks.

"I had to do a lot of dangerous things. You think I was going to put you in harms way just so you could feel needed?" He spat. "That's immature thinking. I did what I did to protect you. And if you hate me for that, that's fine. At least I know I kept you safe." He sighed in defeat, his tear stained face making your breath catch in your throat.

Everything about you wanted to be angry and stand your ground...

You opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it.

"Do you know what I'd have to do if I ever lost you?" He asked, stepping towards you once more, but keeping his hands to himself.

You hesitated before speaking. "...tell me."

He reached for your hand and took it in both hands.

"I'd have to destroy everything that reminded me of you. I'd burn this place down." He looked up at you, the connection you two had always had making itself known with a gravitational pull you couldn't resist. You took your free hand and grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him to you, crashing your lips together. He immediately responded, grabbing your face and deepening the kiss. Every emotion you felt in the last half of a year poured into the kiss. It was rough, needy, passionate. He pulled away and inhaled.

"Yoongi. You need to either live life with me by your side, or spend the rest of your life wondering where I am. I'm not asking you to drag me into every fight and drug deal. But you made me strong. You toughened me up. So embrace it, and let me be with you." You explained, hoping your words didn't fall on deaf ears.

He stared deeply in your eyes, before exhaling slowly.

"Fine." He agreed stubbornly. "You don't get to leave, then." He huffed, crossing his arms. You giggled, you knew you are the only one who ever saw him with his guard down.

He reached out a hand to you, and you obliged, giving him your hand. As soon as he did, he pulled you towards him and wrapped one arm around your waist, and the other hand resting on the back of your head.

"How did you know I was packing?" You asked into his chest.

"Hoseok is my best friend, not yours." His chest rumbled with a chuckle.

"Damn it."