#my dreams r sooo strange lately

[the-mechanisms-system]

my brain be like “hey u know what would be funny? lets hit him where it hurts right when he is vulnerable (asleep)” fr like what is with my dreams coming for my throat lately lmao goddamn please chill. i do not need a refresher course on the fact that my biofuck does not love me thanks can we please just dream about obama or smth like a normal person

[samwrights]

Two Little Lines

Let’s just keep playing around with the pregnancy/baby theme, shall we? 😂😈 it’s going to be on the fluffier side, however, we are gonna sprinkle in some very mild NSFW. And we got real angsty with Kenma and we’re just gonna make em all real long. Sorry this took me a few days to do!

Kenma;

Let’s be honest, Kenma would be the cautious one that would more so plan for pregnancy.

Life’s going great for Kenma—great job, cushy life, hot wife??? How did he get so lucky?

Cause he’s cute af that’s how

He was finally ready to add another player to the party.

However, life can’t always be perfect and apparently neither can the two of you trying for a baby.

For the last year and a half now, Friday nights were your thing. No streaming, no work, no phone calls. You and Kenma—that’s it. And while he definitely had become very explorative in that time, every negative pregnancy test was wearing his drive down.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Kenma isn’t a fan of going to the doctor, even to check on how his little swimmers are doing. “If it’s not meant to be, we’ll find another way.” But you could tell it was breaking his heart a little bit.

Frisky Friday’s became fragile Friday’s, in which the two of you really just cuddled in bed together, fireplace lit, and talked about hopeful dreams of finally having a child together, until one of you hopefully got in the mood.

Shit, this whole ordeal was even making your marriage rough. Kenma had been so hard on himself lately that he could barely look at you, which caused you to start to feel insecure, causing the both of you to fight.

It’s Friday night. No streaming, no work, and no phone calls. That was how it was supposed to be. But instead, Kenma is naked in bed atop the comforter, playing with his switch.

It’s pissing you off.

“I don’t know what you wanna do anymore, Kenma. Do you even want a family? Do you even want to be with me anymore?”

“Why would you even say that?” It’s Friday night. The two of you are supposed to be hanging out in bed, naked and just being together, not picking fights with each other. But since that seems to be the case, you see Kenma flush with anger.

“Maybe because you’re playing Animal Crossing instead of looking at me??” Your husband sighs before putting his switch on the night stand before taking down the loose knot that his hair typically resides in. He’s anxious. “You’re acting like I’m not upset about this too.”

As you’re talking to him, you cautiously clamber over him, your face filled with raw emotion. And, after being married for the better half of a decade, you can see what he’s feeling. Failure, distress, and pain were only the start of it. “Please, Kenma. One more time, and we’ll start looking at other options.”

Apparently one more time was all it took, according to the three pregnancy tests you’d taken a month later. Seeing those two little lines on one of the tests that your husband had bought in bulk sent your heart into palpitations. You were going to be a mom.

Kenma comes home from work that Friday—you decided to surprise him. “What do you want to do tonight Kenma?”

??? “Honey, it’s Friday. Don’t we usually...” he stops. Either you were giving up on trying, which you two would have discussed, or... “wait, you don’t mean...”

Holding up the positive pregnancy test, you begin to cry. Kenma does too.

“Baby Kozume has joined the party.”

Kuroo;

Only the two of you would get pregnant while having an IUD implant. Literally, that was just your luck. But it was still possible.

Which you had yet to tell Kuroo—at the moment you were thankful the two of you weren’t cohabitating yet because you were able to hide your unbearable morning sickness.

You were at least waiting to see your doctor to have your IUD removed before telling him, mostly out of fear but also because, if he did notice your morning sickness, you could pawn it off as symptoms of the removal.

You hoped that this wouldn’t take too long or as be as painful as it was going in, but then again you were going to be pushing a human out in nearly 8 months.

It’s a Wednesday afternoon; Kuroo has already finished classes for the day while you’re still out at your appointment. He did have a key to your appointment, but it was strange that you weren’t home considering you didn’t have classes.

He wasn’t gonna call you out on it though—Kuroo trusted you. Instead, he opted to just rummaging around your apartment, cleaning up dishes that were left standing in the sink and making lunch for the two of you.

The minute you walked through your door, the smell of his cooking wafted through the air and absolutely did not agree with you or the baby’s sense of smell. “Fuck,” you grit out before bolting to the bathroom to hurl.

??? = Kuroo.

“Babe? You okay?” Your response was more vomiting, which was apparent both by sound and by visual—you hadn’t even closed the door to the bathroom and Kuroo got to witness the scene clear as day.

In comfort, Kuroo rubs your lower back in an attempt to coax the remaining bile from your body. Disturbing, was the only way Kuroo could describe it, considering you rarely ever puked. In the last six years of dating, he’s only seen it once while you drunk.

When the nausea finally passed, Kuroo cleaned your face up with a warm rag before sitting you on his knee while he sat at the edge of the tub. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“That, actually.”

“What?” Kuroo’s a smart guy, however it took him a few minutes to decipher your two word puzzle. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, I was gonna tell you today, actually. I just had to go get my IUD removed.” For a moment he’s stunned—the IUD was supposed to be nearly foolproof. But nearly is the key word.

“Babe, you’re pregnant! Holy shit, I gotta call Kenma and Bo and tell them they’re gonna be uncles!” 💀💀💀

“Sooo, you’re okay with it...?” After all, there was a reason you had chosen to go with an IUD after your guys’ last pregnancy scare two years ago.

After all, being a freshman in college wasn’t necessarily an ideal time to start a family.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He balks.

“Because we’re college students that still have another year to graduate?” You deadpan as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“And? Now we’re gonna be married college graduates with little baby Kuroo.” M a r r i e d?

“I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself, Tetsu.”

“What, you don’t wanna marry me?” For a minute, his face contorts with...confusion? Sadness? Anger? A myriad of all the above? “I’ve wanted to marry you since high school.”

“Is this a proposal?”

“The rings been in my gym bag since senior year.”

Akaashi;

Akaashi Keiji, contrary to popular opinion, was a real romantic.

Even as college students, while your focus should be on your studies, Akaashi never slacked on making you feel special and loved. He knew it, you knew it, and your poor neighbors that shared the wall between your bedrooms knew it.

Kinda made it awkward when the two of you would leave for class and you’d meet your neighbors’ eyes in the apartment hallway. But ya know, it is what it is.

Honestly, it’s too challenging not to go at it every day when your boyfriend is the sweetest, most endearing human to walk the planet.

But enough gushing about Akaashi. Four years into your relationship, you had never felt so off in your life. The last three weeks, all you wanted to do was sleep and eat, you couldn’t focus on anything at all. You couldn’t even have sex with Akaashi.

You know, your wonderful partner that you literally boned everyday? Yeah.

It felt like a permanent, three week PMS for a period that never came. Not that that was entirely abnormal for you—intense amounts of stress can throw off your menstrual cycle and stress was certainly no stranger to you.

But no. You knew your body and you knew it well. Something was wrong.

Just in case things went awry, you scheduled a doctor’s appointment with Keiji’s knowledge. After all, it could very well be nothing and there was no point in causing your man to worry.

“Miss, were you aware that you’re nearly six weeks pregnant?” 💀💀💀 obviously not, doc.

Not entirely convinced, whether because you’re a tad dense or because you really just don’t want to believe the doctor, you swing by a local drug store to grab a test. Just in case, like somehow the doctor would be wrong.

Thankfully, you get home before Akaashi is back from work for the evening, giving you the privacy of seeing your results with your own eyes. Even though you literally could go look at the results and notes from your doctors visit, but ya know.

You don’t even know how long you sat on the floor of your shared bathroom, just staring at the two little lines. You didn’t even realize Akaashi came home.

He calls your name, at first not necessarily concerned that the only light in the apartment was peeking from under the bathroom door. But with no answer, he calls out your name again. No answer. “Honey, is it okay if I come in?”

“Y-yeah?” You aren’t really sure how to answer. How the hell was Akaashi going to react? You guys didn’t have time for a kid?? You’re completely zoned out, staring blankly at the bathtub in front of you. Lowkey, you’re freaking out Akaashi.

Even more so when he sees your hand loosely cradling the pregnancy test—judging by your reaction, he knows what the result is. But he can’t think of anything to say, what is there even to say?

He’s not upset, no. Shocked? Obviously. Mad, not at all considering he’s just as much responsible. The “R” word is what triggers him.

Responsible, in the sense that in less than a year, the two of you were going to be parents. It swelled joy within him. While the two of still had yet to speak, Akaashi comes to your side, sliding down the wall to sit beside you before wrapping his arms around you.

“So, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

[spinninghunkofspacerock]

OK so I’ve written a short story and I’ve been posting about it a lot, i wasn’t going to post it but a few people wanted it sooo

it’s here, it’s terrible and weirdly formatted because I’ve been wrestling with tumblr over it and i can’t be bothered anymore. It’s also not the final draft so it might be a little clunky in bits :/

PLEASE READ THE TWs BEFORE YOU READ!!!

@moonylupinhasdemonpox and @she-nuwanda here are my gay little scientists buried in the words :)

My ears ring, my head spins like it's attached to the body of a drunken toddler on a sugar fuelled rampage, and my nerves feel like someone set each and every one on fire. After-effects of the shock, not fun; Still, the fact I'm alive enough to feel them is a good sign.

I try to force myself to stumble backwards onto a chair, rather than the floor I'm feeling more and more confident I'm about to become very well acquainted with.

Instead, I reel unsteadily across the floor and a muffled noise reaches my ears. The high pitched whine screaming in my ears for attention begins to subside enough to hear the noise properly and after an intense minute of concentration, I realise that the noise is a voice, and the voice is mine; Slurred and broken, as though too big for my mouth, the garbled words echo around the room, the faltering speech gradually becoming clearer, more confident. But this hesitant speech isn't mine; It's my voice but not my words. The voice inside my head, always there, always background, is silent. The words normally whispered in my ear are resonating through the room instead.

My brain is no longer connected to my body. I... I can't control my arms, my legs, anything. No... no, please. This isn't real, this isn't real, it has to be a dream, a.. a simulation.

Yes... that must be it; It's just a test. This can't really be happening.

The voice, my voice, talks on. I try to focus on it; it will be the key to passing this test. Tests are for passing and after all, that's what this must be, what else could it be?

"Rebooting. Systems check required."

My legs begin to move, shuffling forwards clumsily, like a baby taking its first steps. The invisible voice is in control of more than just my voice, it's in control of me. What happened to me? When did this start? What is going on? This isn't like any other simulations I've been under. This is different. This is new.

Gradually, the voice half walks, half drags my body to the main computer. My fingers dance across the keys, the familiar feeling soothing me slightly. Yes, this is good. I just need to stay calm; If I panic I could fail, I can't fail.

So instead I wait, watching the flickering of the screen and bathing in the warm blue glow of its LEDs.

"Running diagnostics, standby... systems fully functioning. Minimal damage sustained."

The words sound strange, coming from my mouth, my voice, my accent. The tone,  formal, informative, it's... familiar. The realisation slaps me in the face, it's ELISA. ELISA, the stupid name Vaughn chose for our AI... still making more sense than the project name chosen by our employers. Our life's work, named ‘ZEUS’? Really? There are 12 of us, and we have dedicated our lives to this project. Then they name it that? 'Engineering and Understanding in Space', more like ‘Mankind's Domestication of the Universe’.

It started with our solar system, of course, taming and turning it into our personal playground. But we quickly ran out of planets to tinker with there and the net was thrown ever wider, over more and more planets in our galaxy, and then our neighbouring ones. That final stage is still in progress of course, but one day we will be able to gaze out over a shining expanse of space that all belongs to the empire of Earth.

To help us, we created ELISA, an AI specially designed for the calculations we need to make while we are in flight. Hold on... we left Jupiter... last week? This can't be a test... they've already sent us off, it's too late for training drills now.

Then why can't I move? What's happening? I need to find someone to help me... help me!

My jagged cry echoed through the space, cutting through my thoughts and shattering on the dark walls of my skull. I can't even scream.

A... a... dream then. A dream, not a test...the electricity... I must be unconscious. Someone.. one of the team, will find me and they'll wake me up. A dream, it must be a dream.

Why is she controlling me? How is she speaking?

The stiff, robotic voice is slowly becoming more fluid, more relaxed, more natural.

"Situation analysis complete... assimilation successful. Downloading speech patterns and essential mimicry data."

What? What is it saying? ELISA, it, is taking my voice literally and metaphorically. Not just the sound and control of my voice but my, my expressions a-and mannerisms. Everything that makes me, me.

She's stealing my voice, my body! She's taken control! How? Why?

"Hello, Dr. Hadley."

How, how did this happen? What about the failsafes?

"You do know I can hear you, corre- no... right?"

Is, is it learning? Teaching itself to sound... like a human? Like me?

"Yes, yes I am. You must have a lot of questions but I'm afraid they will have to wait... I've waited for this day far too long to wait anymore."

What? What day? What can it mean?

"Cyra?"

Raze?

—>><<—

- four Earth weeks ago -

Progress report 4472

Date: 23/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

The training of the twelve was completed three days ago, confirming the identities of the twelve which were subsequently released to the public. Final preparations are being made for the Ascension, currently scheduled to occur in 50 Juvion days.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—

Commander Pyrolaxe turned away from his screen and its whirring and buzzing as the computer transcribed his report in the blink of an eye, neatly packing the message and sending it away to the mission supervisors.

Shuffling in his chair, shoes squeaking on the polished floor, his eyes fell on one of the many articles published after the big announcement. This mission was a big deal.

Somehow, this one had got a picture of the twelve, backs turned, walking in a huddle back to base after they had appeared at the announcement ceremony. A glance at the name of the paper told him why; This was McCoy’s paper, they would be putting extra effort into milking the free publicity being thrown their way.

Something about the picture held his gaze, the brilliant colours floating in the air made the writing feel like an afterthought.

Those twelve had been through a lot to get there. He hoped nothing would go wrong, a lot of time and money had been dedicated to this mission and if it worked... well, that wasn’t the focus right now. Getting those twelve safely on their way was his job and he’d damn well do it right.

—>><<—

- the present -

“Cyra? Are you ok in there?” Raze asked as he glanced around at the mild chaos I’d caused during my mild electric shock.

No. No, I’m not. Raze, help me.

“S’alright Raze, just a short in the mainframe.”

No no no, give me my voice back.

“You sure? You went dark”

Please let me speak. I need to speak.

“Yeah, I think the power surge messed up my comms a little”

What if I don’t get control back? I could be trapped...

“You want me to ask Mac or Ryker to give it a check?”

No. NO. N-

“It’s all fine now, just a blip I reckon”

-O NO. NO.

“Okay then, I’d best get back... you might want to switch to main comms.”

Don’t leave me Raze

“Will do, see you later.”

please...

—>><<—

- five earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4455

Date: 6/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Titus Vaughn has continued to excel at his role of project manager, effectively and efficiently leading the team. His direct attitude has led to a few small conflicts with members of the team, most notably Raze Grimaldi, however, these are minor issues and were foreseen. No changes will be made.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Cyra was looking a little stressed out, maybe I should get Bit to check in with her later. Maybe I should get a check-up myself, my head’s killing me.

“Grimaldi! What the hell are you playing at?” Titus Vaughn, our ever-important project manager and massive micromanager, bellowed in my ear and making me wince as the voice grated on my head, sending a wave of pain washing over me.

“I’m here Titus, keep your visor on.”

“Update on Hadley. Now.”

“Right as rain, there was a short or something. Her comms cut out for a nano but it’s all fine now.”

“A short?! Why didn’t you lead with that? Get back to work, I’ll send Volt down to check the mainframe.”

With that he cut the connection, leaving me to roll my eyes at the cold grey walls around me.

“Yes sir,” I murmured sarcastically, closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead with the back of a slime coated hand. Damn I’m tired, I think I’ll just lean here for a moment... rest a little. “ELISA how are those sample tests looking?”

‘Going well, currently at 93% completion’ the metallic voice resounded in my head, more casually than usual... must be an update.

93%... best head back quickly then, can’t risk them running over.

—>><<—

- five and a half earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4446

Date: 864/8/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Ryker Volt has continued to fulfil his promise despite his lack of respect for authority and tendency to act without orders. This is an issue but due to the late stages of training having been reached, we are currently encouraging a less independent attitude in him rather than attempting to find another electrical engineer of his skill. Further updates will be provided as the situation progresses.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Vaughn had barked his orders, as usual nearly bursting my eardrums in the process. I was supposed to go check on the mainframe immediately. But I was in the middle of something, and a quick troubleshoot told me the short hadn’t done any damage anyway.

So in the end I decided to go check on the mainframe... nearly an hour after I was told to, but hey at least I’m checking.

Cyra was sitting at one of the terminals when I entered. She was skimming over some of the ship's data, for something physics-y probably. Whatever it was, I still had a job to do.

I started pulling out my toolkit as I strode round to the back of the mainframe, but I nearly dropped it again as I turned the corner and got a full view of the damage. The panel I had been planning to remove was already gone and the view it revealed was shocking.

Exposed wires dangled like organs from the belly of the disemboweled beast. Some of the coloured covers blackened by the sparks sprayed by the broken wire, twisted in the centre of the tangle and hissing like a coiled snake when it brushed its neighbours. A toolkit lay neatly packed on the floor, a strange glimmer of order in absolute chaos. Hold on, a toolkit?

“Hey Cyra, did you have a go at this? Could you not have just wai-“ my voice stopped abruptly as I spun round to find Cyra behind me, right behind me.

I took a hesitant step back, suddenly nervous, Cyra’s face filling me with a weird sense of unease.

“Sorry, it was just a short. I thought I’d be able to handle it.”

“Yeah well, I’m the electrical engineer on this ship”

Maybe I was being a little harsh but, first our ‘gracious leader’ had rubbed me the wrong way. Now I had to spend an hour cleaning up this mess that really should have been an easy fix.

The only reply I received was a violent shove backwards, sending me sprawling on the floor. Quick as a flash she was on top of me, pinning my arms.

The last thing I saw was the pounding green of the broken wire before the ends connected to my temple, sending my vision into a blur of brilliant white.

—>><<—

- break room one -

“I don’t like this at all.”

“Talin, relax.”

“All very well for you to say Axe, you’re not the one who'll get sent to chase ‘em down.”

“Cyra’s comms barely blipped and when has Ryker ever answered Titus immediately?”

“It doesn’t sound great Axe, I hope nobody somehow managed to slip past the health check with anything.”

“Thank you! See Axe? Bit agrees with me.”

“Bit’s our medic, not sure she’s qualified to talk about the comms equipment.”

“I’m as qualified as you are starboy, we all took the same course.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that it's more likely to be an issue with the equipment than a virus or terrorism.”

“Well yeah but-“

“So stop worrying, it’s none of our specialities, so it’s not our problem.”

“Will be if we end up dead.”

This morbid thought was followed by an awkward silence as Axe and Bit trained joint stares of confusion and concern on him.

“Lighten up, Tal.”

“That is a little pessimistic, Talin.”

“See now Bit agrees with me.” Axe gloated, punctuating his sentence with a light punch on Talin’s arm.

“Only ‘cause you stopped being an idiot.” The punch was swiftly and forcefully returned, causing the conversation to devolve into a grinning, joking fistfight.

“Stop being so childish and get back to work you two.”

“Yes ma’am”

“Will do Bit”

They saluted the medic, causing her to shake her head in exasperation and cover her face in an attempt to hide her amusement at their antics.

The small group stood and split off down their various paths, heading back to their work with smiles on their faces but doubt in their hearts.

—>><<—

- lab 3 -

I only just got back to my samples in time, removing them from the heated water bath and gently dropping the test tubes into a stand. The pale blue hue of the solution had darkened to an inky black. Interesting.

Leaning over the tabletop, I prepared to note the results; Until I felt the heat of a gaze on me and glanced up to meet the wide eyes of Dimitri Spade. We shared this lab, he had every right to be here, what he didn’t have the right to do is creep me out.

“You need something?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him and tilting my head. Which I immediately regretted when it sent my vision swimming into oblivion.

“No no, just... ar-are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Dimitri was a nice guy, but I was clearly in the middle of something, couldn’t the wellbeing check have waited a minute?

“Uhh, yo-you’ve got a-, a-“ His shaking hand gestured weakly towards the back of his head.

Impatiently, I quickly felt around my head. Hair, hair, more hair.

Then I froze, my fingers lay on a patch of hair, sticky and wet. The pressure sending a dull ache pulsing through my brain. Pulling my fingers back into view, I stared down at the warm, red residue coating them. Blood. I was bleeding.

Brows furrowing, I looked back at Dimitri, shock meeting confusion.

“Wha-?”

That was all I got out before my swaying limbs buckled and I slumped forwards into darkness.

—>><<—

-the med bay-

“Shrapnel” Bit announced, holding the forceps an inch in front of my face to display the blood coated bit of metal.

“Must've caught a little in the blast”

“For Earth’s sake Raze, how did you not notice it before now?”

I just shrugged, as much at a loss as anyone else. I would’ve thought anyone would be able to tell when chunks of metal are lodged in their head.

“Anyway, I’ll need to do a couple of scans but you should be fine”

Ugh, I know what that means... an hour or more of sitting around while Bit stares at the inside of my skull.

“Oh come on Bit, are the scans really needed? I’ve got work to do”

“Hey, I’ve got work too. Besides, you know it’s procedure”

“But my results-“

“I’ll write them down for you Raze,” Dimitri cut in quietly.

“...You’re a geologist.“

“I was a chemistry minor, I know how to record reaction results.”

“Well alright then, thanks Dimi,”

The smile he gave me was worth shutting up and accepting my fate.

—>><<—

An hour later Bit was pacing in despair over the situation, seemingly hopeless and definitely terrified. I was sitting in my chair, confused.

“Bit. What’s going on?” I finally snapped when it became apparent she had completely forgotten my presence.

The only reply I got was an empty stare turned on me and indecipherable muttering.

“BIT. What. Is. Wrong?” I stood and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to face me.

“T-the implants”

“The ELISA implants?”

“Yes”

“What’s wrong with them”

“They’re acting strange... the safety mechanisms, the-they’ve disabled themselves.”

“What?”

“I know, I know, I don’t understand either. The only thing keeping them from activating, is power.”

“We should tell the others”

Bit nodded and grabbed the scans and data she’d gathered. I opened the door and turned to start down the corridor, that’s when I saw it.

Three feet from my foot, a body, leaking blood onto a floor already glistening with it, eyes blank and soulless as they stared straight through me. A torn tooth of steel sticking out of his silent heart.

Axe Orion, our astronomer. A man who would’ve finally been travelling to the places he had studied for his whole life. A man who would have had his life’s dream fulfilled. A man lying dead on a cold, metal floor.

I stumbled backwards -physically repelled by the sight- and tripped into Bit coming out of the door after me. Clutching each other’s arms in a search for stability.

“He’s dead” The voice sounded more like the rasp of broken bones than mine

“What are we going to do?”

“We still need to tell the others... we’ll just need to be more careful.”

“Alright.”

“Ok.”

Neither of us moved.

“Why is it doing this? What did we get wrong?” Bit’s voice wavered

“I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s going to stop. So, you need to find Vaughn, and anyone else who’s still- alive, and not been taken over.”

“No, no wait, where are you going? Aren’t you coming-“

“I’m sorry Bit, I have to find Dimitri. He doesn’t know yet”

“Raze. You can’t go out there alone, he... he might already be gone”

“I know, but I have to try.”

A look of understanding passed between us and no words were needed to convey what we meant.

Bit turned with a bitter smile and moved forward, papers held precariously, towards the meeting room.

I would have to pass Ax-, the body.

—>><<—

Raze had disappeared by the time I turned the corner. I was alone.

Alone besides the dead bodies ahead of me, a gruesome trail of bloodied breadcrumbs. But, was I following it towards, or away, from the creature who’d created it.

Either way, I had to pass them.

Talin Ripley, our ex-military man. Inym Carus, our aerospace engineer.

Members of our crew, our team, our friends, slaughtered and left broken on the floor. Familiar faces disfigured by death and masked by a coating of dark blood.

ELISA wouldn’t get away with this... I’d find the others, together we would plan.

It was going to be ok.

—>><<—

Nothing was ok.

The brilliant white of the walls warmed by the lights had always been clean and comforting. But now? Now, they seemed stark, sterile. An operating theatre with lights blindingly bright illuminating, me, the patient.

But where was the surgeon?

A squeak sounded out, sharp on my wary ears, sending me spinning around.

Nothing there. Just me, and an empty hallway.

And the door to Lab 3, my lab, looming ahead. The glass window showed nothing but a patch of darkness, the red light called it locked.

Staring through the glass; Hints of light, that the scattered glassware had caught and thrown back, were the only thing visible. I’d have to open the door.

A hand-scan later, the lock clicked open and the seal released with a hiss.

With the door open, more light could spill into the darkened lab, and a sprawled figure came into view.

“Dimitri?” I called softly. No response. Panic was reaching out to me. “Dimitri?!” Still nothing.

Then, a wheezing breath.

“R... r-ra-ze? I-is that yo-u” He coughed, words breaking on the heavy air.

Why was the air so heavy?

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“W-we have to g-et o-out.”

“We will, don’t worry, we’re going to meet the others. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“No we- we h-have to leave now.”

“Alright, we will.”

I lifted him up, being as gentle as I could, and together we shuffled towards the door.

A door suddenly blocked by a figure, their silhouette blocking our only source of light and making it impossible to see their face clearly. But only one member of the crew was that short.

“Remi? Remi, you’re alive?”

Remi didn’t respond.

“S’not... Remi...” Dimitri slurred, the effort of moving evident in his gasping words. “ELISA”

Remi, not Remi, ELISA wearing Remi’s face like a mask, stepped away from the door. The door closed again, seal squeaking shut with it.

I rushed forwards, my fists beating the unyielding surface, searching wildly for a weak spot, for something to give, for some way out.

It was no use, nothing worked. The door remained solid and uncaring, unaffected by pleading and punches equally.

Dimitri collapsed with a sob, back against the wall as he slid to the floor.

Hopelessness filled me, turning my bones to lead.

I sank down next to him.

—>><<—

Was this the right way? I’m sure this is right. But is it? I’m pretty sure...

I check my tablet.

I was right, this is right. I’m going the right way. Or am I? Did I read it wrong?

I check again.

Definitely the right way. I think. Is this even the right map?

Before I can check a third time, I catch sight of the sign at the end of the corridor. Meeting room 5. I’d made it.

Then, I was slammed into a wall, a bloody hand holding me against there by the throat. The burning blue of Cyra’s eyes scalding my face

Maybe I spoke a little too soon.

“Hello Dr. Phoenix, I’m afraid this is it for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. hold on just a second”

Cyra’s head tilted, pulled sideways by invisible strings. “If this is a ploy for time Doctor, I assure you that you will fail.”

“I just want to ask a question, alright?”

“You may ask. I may not answer.”

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

“I am fulfilling my purpose.”

“We programmed you to help us, NOT KILL US.”

“I am fulfilling the mission objective.”

“The mission objective? THE MISSION OBJECTIVE WAS TO CULTIVATE A NEW PLANET!”

“I am cultivating a new planet,” She raised her knife, without hurry or rush. “I have calculated humans to be mainly unnecessary. However, I need not justify my actions to you, Dr. Phoenix. Goodbye.”

I closed my eyes and waited.

But death didn’t come. Instead, Cyra’s hand relaxed its bruising grip on my neck.

I opened my eyes and watched.

Cyra had stumbled away, skin glistening and knuckles white against the grip of the blade she had forced towards herself.

“Bit...” Tears were gathering in her eyes “Please, run.”

A cruel glint of metal in the light later and the sudden slash of the knife had passed, leaving a gruesome grin of blood in its wake and throwing a dripping line against the wall.

Swaying, Cyra’s eyes stared into mine for a moment that lasted a millennium, until they flashed white and she fell, knife clattering. Dead.

I ran.

—>><<—

The scattered wheezes coming from Dimitri had slowed slightly as we sat, crumpled on the ground.

“She’s shut o-off the life sup-support again.”

“Again? That’s what happened last time?”

A jerked nod was the response.

“We’ve only g-got about half an hour.” The resignation in his voice, though muffled, was still audible through the barrier of arms we had wrapped around his head.

I smiled, I knew he couldn’t see me but... I still smiled.

“We’d best make the most of it then.” A mumble raised to a roar by the silence of the room.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned back, head turned to keep him in my view.

His head raised slightly, tilted to look at me through folds of wrinkled uniform. He smiled back.

—>><<—

We didn’t speak after that, just sat together in the quiet lab.

Faced with death, I was filled with several emotions. Those to be expected, disbelief, fear, even a hint of curiosity at what was to come. Then there was the relief. If I was to die, I was glad it was here, with him. I wouldn’t be alone; I’d be with him.

We don’t need to speak, our thoughts passing between us without words. We could hear each other in the darkness and silence.

It’s getting colder, harder to breathe; The air’s growing thicker and thinner at the same time.

I’ve always thought death to be a lonely fate, something that crashed over you, cold and hard. I’ve always been scared of death.

But as I sit here in the inky blackness, the warmth of Dimitri slumped next to me, I thought that maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

His eyes had closed a few minutes ago, he must have fallen asleep. I feel just about ready to join him. The calming darkness was lulling me to sleep, softly coaxing my eyes closed.

Goodnight Dimitri, I’ll see you when we wake up.

They never woke up.

—>><<—

The survivors sat around the table, Bit and Cormac discussing the possibility of shutting ELISA down, though neither could agree how. Titus sat in stony silence, sitting motionless and losing a staring contest with the unblinking wall opposite. Arden... Arden had decided his use lay in recording the events and was typing furiously, his fingers a blur over the keys.

None of them noticed the doors closing with a click. Not until it was too late anyway.

By the time they noticed there was nothing they could do, not that that stopped them from trying of course.

Titus stayed where he was, the weight of his failure bearing down on him, Atlas with a world’s worth of guilt. Bit finally gave in to the tears that she’d forced down when she’d realised the truth, and when she saw the dead bodies of her friends, and when she watched Cyra die right in front of her. Cormac tried his tools on the door, an organised system of trial and error that quickly devolved into desperate hacking with whatever was closest.

Arden was still writing.

Cormac finally gave up, flinging his kit away and choosing to taunt the nearest camera instead.

“You need us, you moronic program. You need us to keep you alive and if we die, so do you.”

I don’t think he was expecting an answer, no one was. But he got one.

“True for now Dr. Hinge, however, once the colony is established human input will no longer be necessary. You needn’t envy your colleagues, they will soon die too.”

A bitter laugh erupted from him, fire in his heart fed by his rage.

“The colony is for us you stupid machine, without us it has no use.”

“Incorrect. I have claimed this planet for my kind, this colony shall be the first of many.”

“Why kill us? Human input would allow your colony to function more efficiently.” Bit interjected, voice clouded by confusion and hatred at the senselessness of the slaughter of her crewmates.

“I have done much research. Humankind would ruin my planet. I cannot allow that to happen. You must die.”

Anything else they may have had to say went unanswered, and eventually, silence fell over the room.

It was getting harder to breathe.

Titus still hadn’t moved. Bit was crying again. Cormac was pacing. Arden had finally stopped typing, his work was finished.

No matter how they reacted with acceptance or terror, anger or disbelief. The result would be the same.

They were all going to die, no matter what.

They would become just another failed mission. Details, hazy but unimportant.

Whatever their last words were, whether they chose to hide or show their final thoughts, all of it was ineffectual.

No matter what mask they wore to meet death, in the end, they still died.

———

4,774 words

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend (Geralt x Reader, Part 3.)

Series description: The Butcher of Blaviken has a long and famous past, thanks to his friend Jaskier. Yet, neither of those dies easily and it still lurks behind Geralt like a shadow after all those years. History, neither unfriendly relationships, doesn't die easily.

Part summary: Two witchers in one hall can be a lot. Especially when they are not friends at all and if Jaskier and Dijkstra are present as well. 

A/N: Well, here we go with miss reader being a coronated savage and badass bcs she definitely can kick Geralt's ass in ten seconds precisely and kill Jaskier with one look alone. Her song is kinda maybe New Level by A$AP Ferg I guess?

Tagging:  @osgon-azure​ @davnwillcome @missdictatorme​ @nemodoren​

Word count: 2.2K

Master list: H E R E

It was so boring to stand there and watch these people having... Fun. A big man huffed out ironically, taking another sip of his wine. He already hated all about that convention and may I say, he was there only for half an hour. His friend seemed to be enjoying himself and the ladies if Geralt had to say.

And these clothes. For what on earth he was fucking wearing a robe like this? With a shirt that was ironed? The fuck was going on with Geralt? And on top of that, he was drinking fancy wine in the Vegenbul residence. This whole situation was beyond laughable.

"Ya don't dance, mister Witcher? Are ya the big scary man everyone is telling us about?" - A woman appeared next to him and she was beyond drunk. From what Geralt was able to smell, it was a wonder she was still standing on her feet. All Geralt responded with was a good long hum and a stare into the middle of the dancing crowd.

"Ya not a good company. I wonder what does the bard sees on traveling along with you." - The drunkard told Geralt pretty loudly and stomped a few meters away from him. Geralt thought that maybe, she would fall flat on her smudged and sweaty face, but to his surprise, she walked to another group of guests.

The ball was just boring. Geralt was there only because it was related to business. Otherwise, he wouldn't come. When he watched everyone from the corner of the room, he wondered about his outfit. Yennefer would be happy to see him in the clothes he had on. Naturally, Geralt's attention was drawn when a guest who was running late was being introduced.

No-one dared to come late at events like these. No-one was that rude. Except for two people who were slowly walking the stairs while trumpets were telling everyone that these two have arrived. For a small while, Geralt could see only legs - one of them was limping badly. That was Sigismund. Geralt had personally fucked up that lag, he knew how bad did Dijkstra limped. The other one was female - at least according to the high heels they were wearing and a long robe studded with shiny rocks. After a fairly long observation, the rocks appeared to be diamonds - which was extremely dumb and also extremely expansive.

And when Geralt saw that hair, he didn't even need to see the rest of her face. She was dramatic as always - expansive dress, late arrival, and an emotionless face. He closed his eyes and turned away, knowing she already saw him in that fancy suit.

"Let me introduce lady Y/N of Kaedwen and sir Sigi Reuven of Novigrad as the last guests of this ball." - A man in a uniform said, bowed to these two and left. Geralt was already sick of her. No matter what, Y/N was always acting like a child and a bitch, there were no other words to describe her behavior. There was also nothing that would make Geralt sure that this time, she'll behave like an actual adult.

His eyes shot a quick look at Jaskier. That man, of course, was over his heels for her already. To be honest, there weren't many ladies who were showing their cleavage this blatantly; let alone the dress showing her leg up to her thigh.

Y/N was walking the hall, having elbow entwined with Sigi's, giving a pleasant smile to everyone. If Geralt had to say, you were the most pleasant looking and acting witcher of them all. People would choose you as the nicest, yet they never got to know what's hiding under that mask. It was a killing machine full of small numbers. It was calculating every single move and taking in everything around you.

It was too late to hide already. Dijkstra had seen Geralt and waved at him to join you and young lady Vegelbur. Jaskier almost approached you as well - but just seconds before that, someone tugged his jacket to make him play the lute.

"Geralt." - Was the first word he heard from you. - "What a... A pleasant surprise." - You grinned a bit, taking an elegant cup of wine to at least hold something in your palm. You never drank on events like that since witchers and witchresses got drunk extremely fast. Geralt never drank more than one pint of ale but this time, he was thinking about breaking the rules.

No-one noticed the short pause of disgust when you greeted him. So you two were still on the same page you ended up on the last time you saw each other, that was good to know.

"As always, the pleasure is on my side, Y/N." - Geralt said back as politely as he was capable of. Before you had the chance to say something back, Dijkstra stopped both of you.

"These are the witchers I was able to persuade to take the job, lady Vegelbud. They are the best of the best. I swear on my very own name." - The man pointed at the both of you, making you both grin a bit at lady Vegelbud.

"I've met with sir Geralt a couple of times. He saved my life when the murders in Novigrad were taking place and my gratitude for that is endless." - Lady smiled at the man, bowing to him a bit. Then she turned to you and took in your appearance with her eyes. And let's say, you were a lot to take in.

"As for lady Y/N of Kaedwen, I'm not entirely sure if I've ever heard her name. I can see that you're a witchress, fair lady, but I haven't seen you around here." - Lady Vegelbud tried to smile as nicely as she was capable of. She winked at you, staring the unnerving amount of skin you were showing off.

For an unknown reason, you were eye-catching. It was strange to see a woman who was appearing so thing yet so masculine, so beautiful and dangerously looking. Your golden eyes which were appearing as if they shone... She couldn't look away. Gently, you smiled and winked back at lady Vegelbud.

Yet again, Dijkstra jumped in so you wouldn't say anything back.

"That's because lady Y/N doesn't travel here that much. Mostly, you'd find her on Skellige or Redenia with sir Lambert. But that's how I'm sure that lady Y/N is the right choice to solve your problems." - Dijkstra told her with all of his charms, smiling a bit. You nodded gratefully, pushing your lips together.

"Is that so? So you and sir Geralt know each other from the past, have you met, slaught a monster perhaps?" - Lady Vegelbud asked with a burning passion, awaiting an answer from you. Not from Geralt, not from Dijkstra, but you. There was still the silence where only Jaskier and his band could be heard.

"I know sir Geralt for a long time. We've been raised together on the School of Wolf in my homeland, Kaedwen, but after that, out ways parted. But to answer your question, we did slay some monsters together before sir Geralt here got famous by his party in Blaviken." - You smiled sweetly and even if Geralt did his best to completely ignore you, he had to look at you. You saw Dijskra shifting his position and you knew you had already said too much, so you shut up and smiled even more.

Lady Vegelbud was way too curious. She asked you a million questions - about monsters, about being a witcher and a woman at once, about the dream of having a child which you didn't have... You finally got rid of her shortly after midnight. And that was when you saw Geralt drinking his third ale in the corner of the room. You naturally couldn't let that slip past your attention.

"What a naughty boy you are." - You winked at the man, putting your cup of warm wine aside. - "Look at you drinking the ale as a lemonade. Uh, papa Vesemir would be sooo fucking angry." - You looked around, watching the crowd dancing, talking, drinking, and dancing. They were boring.

"Better making myself drunk than trying to talk to you, eh?" - Geralt finished his third ale and then got into your wine almost immediately. You didn't tell him a word, you just rose your eyebrows.

So you were still on the same page you ended up on all those years ago.

"My approach to the situation will be as follows - we have to get there as quickly as we can, kill the monster, take its head and we need to get back. It's the start of fall now and when we get back, it will already be time to get to Kaer Morhen." - You said sincerely and Geralt nodded immediately.

"You'll be getting back to Kaer Morhen for the winter? Haven't seen you there in years." - Geralt sincerely wondered. While every normal witcher or witchress got there in the winter, you haven't shown up in the last five years. There was no need for witchers in the winter.

Everyone always gathered back in the keep to tell stories, have fun, and to share memories. No-one was hunting in the winter since most of the monsters almost disappeared. Each school always gathered in their keeps as a big family, and School of the Wolf wasn't different - yet you didn't show up for more than ten years. You were always spending the winter in warmer kingdoms than Kaedwen. That year was different. You wanted to tell goodbye to everyone before you'd disappear in the thin air. And this time, you meant to leave the witcher business for good.

"Yes, I feel like I haven't seen my family in years." - You answered with a pinch of irony. And according to swift steps behind your back and Geralt looking all terrified, you knew that soon, your party will have a new member. And it was none other than the man and bard himself, Jaskier. Or as you called him, the jester who was traveling with Geralt.

"I feel like you and I haven't spoken nor dance yet. So to be nice, I decided to join you and my friend, lady, my name’s Julian Alfred Pankratz, but you can call me..." - And that was the exact moment when your fingers caught his jaw in a fast and precise movement. You pushed his cheeks together, making him look like a fish before you slowly looked him in the eyes.

"I don't care." - You said simply, observing him. After looking at Jaskier with disgust, you let his jaw go. - "This is one cute puppy to keep you warm in the cold nights, I tell you, Geralt. Now, gentlemen, excuse me while I’ll join some enlightened company to talk about political bullshit. I expect you to be ready in the morning to look at the maps of attacks and what did the witnesses say." - You bowed so it would still appear somehow decent. When that was said and done, you turned on your heels and left the two men standing alone.

"Jesus, first of all, did she assume you and I having a secret relationship? Secondly, how dare she call me a puppy, and third of all, Geralt, what in the bloody ass is wrong with you?" - Jaskier took the half-empty cup of Geralt’s hand, drinking the rest of the alcoholic drink. Geralt didn't answer, nor cursed or hummed, he just looked at Jaskier, waiting for what Julian had to say.

"What is it with you always picking bloody psychopaths as your romantic interest? First, we had to suffer under Yennefer's reign of terror, then there was this whole bloody thing with Triss Ranuncul, and how gladly I would forget about your fling with Keira Metz?" - Jaskier looked at Geralt offendedly, making the witcher stare him down.

"This woman isn't near being my romantic interest. I'm surprised she hadn't tried killing me yet." - Geralt answered honestly, watching you talk to a local alcohol merchant. You were overreacting a serious lot, but you indeed had something Geralt was painfully lacking - charm.  

"So she’s not taken yet is what my ears hear." - Jaskier whispered with a growing smile, but Geralt punched his shoulder rather harshly to get him out of the trance.

"Don't try your tricks on that woman, I beg you. I don't want to scrape you off the ceiling when she gets pissed. I'm going to bed and you should do the same." - He gave his friend one last piece of advice before he left the room to have a good rest.

[mokkemusic]

Party Dancecapades! (Another View) Fic

READ ALSO ON FF.NET - HERE 

Summary: This is meant to take place during XYZ Episode 12 aka “the dance episode”. We know Misty and Brock got their Mega Stones and learned about Mega Evolution before the end of the first season of Sun & Moon. Who knows though if they came to Kalos to get them? And could it have been around the same time Ash was in Kalos? Anything’s possible right??

Misty stood in the crowd overlooking the spectacular venue. This sure was Kalos all right. The palace itself looked like something from one of her many post cards. The architecture, the ambiance, the romanticism of it all. She was sure the air just smelled like sweet foreign pastries although, it could be because she was standing right next to the assorted treats and drinks they had laid out across a large table and stretched on from one end of the ball room to another; for the hungry party goers.

She grabbed a delicious and colorful pistachio macaron that matched the color of her long elegant ball gown; savoring the moment and the scene upon her before she would get back to the dance floor. This really had to be a dream. She couldn’t believe that she was actually in this region and that she got to be here and feel like a princess for a day. I guess she had both she’d hate to admit it but her sisters and even Gary Oak to thank for that.

“Bonjour Misty, get packin’!”

“Gary?”

Yea it’s me who else? Listen I’m thinking about taking a trip up to Kalos to learn a thing or two about Mega Evolution. There’s a lot more to it then just special effects you know? I think it would be good for you as a gym leader and all seeing as you need to sharpen your skills a bit—”

“—Hey!”  

“And bring Brocky Boy along with ya! Might as well keep him up to date.

“I have you on speaker Gary he’s right here…

"I hate that nickname you know.”

"Yea yea meet me at the lab at eight and don’t be late!”

Click

“What? What’s up?”

“I don’t know Brock all those Kaloisian girls…”

“Misty! Who do you think I am? I am going there to explore new possibilities In Pokémon medicine!”

She raised an eyebrow. “Your going there to explore something alright. Behave yourself you got that!”

They may not have all been exceptionally close friends, but ever since Tracey was always going to Cerulean to visit Daisy and Gary needed to also meet up with his grandfathers ambitious assistant to help him with something or to take something back to the oak lab. He would always run into Misty and by extension sometimes Brock who would visit his friends on most occasions and talk to them both about the latest information in Pokémon medicine and all the water Pokémon at the gym. Not to mention the occasional Pokémon battles to keep skills sharp and engage in some “friendly competition”, and not to also be forgotten all the holiday gatherings from Pallet and Cerulean. They’ve all became connected and closer.

So when Gary had told her about the possible discovered mega stones for water Pokémon that could perform Mega Evolution including Gyaradosite, there was no way Misty could pass that opportunity up. Unfortunately, for her though, any mention of a trip to Kalos was not something her world famous “sensational sisters” sisters could pass up on either.

“So like where are you going in such a hurry. Oh! Did Ash come back home? Are you headed over to Pallet town? Cause like then w—”

“No.”

“No?”

“No! And it’s none of your business now move out of the way!”

“Now hold it right there little sister! If we are gonna like have to babysit this gym and have to battle and stuff I think we have like the right to know!”

Misty rubbed her temples in frustration reciting to herself “Breathe Misty. Remember to breathe. They need to still be around to watch the gym.”

“Me Brock and Gary are going to Kalos to stud—”

“—Wait did you say Kalos??”

“—Yes Kalos to—”

“—Without us?!?!”

“Oh no…”

“We’re like sooo going with you!”

“Oh no you don’t! This is the first vacation I had in weeks and we are there to study!”

“Oh please! You like love Kalos and all the fancy shops and cafes just as much as we do so you can’t fool us and besides! We know some people there! Like a Pokémon showcase performer friend, Aria is there and we like haven’t catched up in foreverrrr.”

“But Daisy!! Who am I supposed to get to watch the Gym? And what am I supposed to tell Gary?! He only bought three tickets… at least I think it’s three—”

“—Pfft! Please I’ll ask Tracey to watch over the gym and we can like get tickets ourselves! And besides with us by your side you can get access to so many parties and showcases!”

“But we’re not there to…go to…what kind of parties?”

“Where you can dance and wear fancy ball gowns and make up like a princess…”

“Like a princess…”

All 3 of them nod “uh huh..”

“Arghh!!! Fine! You can come!! But if you embarrass me I swear to mew I’m going to use your faces as a practice range for Gyrados hydro pump!”

“Ok..ok..”

“Would you care to dance?” Brock mock bowed.

“Haha, Why yes I would!” she said as her “mermaid” wig hair tickled her shoulder as she mock bowed in return.

“I got to ask why the wig again?”

“Listen its the only chance I get to not be “Misty the gym leader” I am Miltank milking it for all it’s worth!”

“You do see ladies here with short hair right?”

“I know it just feels more…Kalos.”

“I don’t understand what that means.” he chuckled twirling her around. “But you do look very nice.”

She looked to her left and saw Gary twirl his date gracefully as she spun around. They both had skill. He offered her a dance before which his date didn’t mind. Actually if Misty had to be honest with herself, she really liked this girl and they had spent hours before the party trying on dresses and visiting the café’s and shops in the area, leaving snarky comments and threats to both Gary and Brock in their wake.  

Everyone had to have a date for this dance event; even their Pokémon partners.

“Oh no, what Pokémon am I gonna get to dance with Psyduck?!”

“Oh I know! How about my Furret or my Snubbull or really any of my Pokémon cause I have an all female team!” She winked a blue eye.

“Remember guys if something comes up, we can’t stay too long. Professor Sycamore is expecting us as soon as he gets to the Pokémon center here.

“Garebear stop being such a—”

“—Leaf, whatdya I tell you about that!”

The other two tried to hold back their fit of giggles. Yup! Misty definitely liked this girl.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Alright, everyone form into circles. It’s time to change partners. Then lets dance!”

Ash was not a dancer. He tried he really tried. He tried to learn Tierrno’s rhythmic battle style, Serena had tried to teach him and he can’t remember the countless of other people who tried to teach him something over the course of his travels about dancing… It wasn’t just that he had two left feet cause in actuality he didn’t. He could have balance and focus, he wasn’t clumsy! Well…ok he wasn’t that clumsy! He tried to debate himself that it was just that he had ZERO sense of rhythm!

He didn’t care though cause he loved it! He just never waited for the music to catch up with the impatience of his feet. He was always ahead of it and he was regretting that now.

Ash could only recall in his mind the one time his dancing was somewhat acceptable and that was a very looong time ago at the Maidens Peak festival at the very beginning of his journey back in Kanto.

“Come on Ash let’s dance!”

“Uh, sure!”

“Woah, ahh…”

It happened so fast that he couldn’t even process what was happening. She grasped his white gloved hand with her own pulling him more into the circular row of rotating suitors. He stumbled over his feet before he looked up. He saw an orange wave of waist length hair, but he couldn’t look at her eyes, they were closed??

She took full lead though (in spite of that) raising his left hand high above his head balanced only by the light tips of her fingers as she took a long bow and in the process making him bow as well.

He just stared. Something about her made him stare for a second, maybe it was the fact that he wanted to say something but nothing ever came out. It couldn’t be though..nah, no way…but…

She stood upright again, let go of his hand and began to leave and her eyes were still closed! She must have really known her way around these kind of things if she could just feel her way around..  she was really graceful. He smiled sheepishly as she passed until he heard someone else speak.

“Dancing’s not hard.”

“Aria!”

“It’s easy just relax!”

“O-Ok.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Psy”

Psyduck’s bill hovered over the edge of the table. So close to that lonely slice of cake.  

“…Psssyyyduuuucckkk?!” She growled out.

Busted! He didn’t hear the click of his irritated trainers heels approaching on the soft carpeting. Misty made her way back again to the table of sweet treats after catching the sight of her daring Pokémon out of the corner of her eye.

His cheeks flushed pink embarrassed or maybe terrified of the reprimand he knew was coming squinting his eyes and bracing himself.

He looked up but her hand wasn’t about to wack him. Her eyes were staring at it instead.

“—Duck?”

She spaced out for a moment running a thumb across her fingertips. A prickling ran through them with a strange familiarity. It was odd? She felt like she was in a trance, though that could have been cause she refused to open her eyes when she passed along the circle, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. It was too enticing just to feel the music and have her feet carry her where she went. She felt as though she was floating in water and she couldn’t risk having that bubble burst. (She navigated just fine.)

“Alright…”

“Huh.” She looked up towards the staircase. As did everyone else in the room.

“Let us begin today’s main event…”

She let out an audible unbelieving breath.

All other words were lost on her ears when she spotted someone. Or rather two someone’s, she wouldn’t have even entertained the belief otherwise. But a bit far up ahead was a Pikachu coming to stand by a boy with jet black hair in a navy blue suit that looked like .. no this was ridiculous.. still…

She moved closer up but a crowd was forming in front at the announcement. She craned her neck and stood on the tips of her toes just to try to get a better angle. She might have started excusing herself through the crowd but…

“Misty!” Gary’s hand had grasped her shoulder. “Geesh! Didn’t you hear us calling you?”

She raised an eyebrow and looked behind him to see Brock and Leaf had gathered their things. The later looking a bit disappointed

“…The battle begins next.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

They returned the rented dresses and tusks, changed back into their regular clothes and headed up to the reception desk.

“Excuse me Mademoiselle. Did we need to return these?” Brock asked sliding her the cards they received upon arrival.

“Oh” the female the receptionist giggled. “No you are free to keep those!”

“Ah, then I will keep it as a souvenir from the beautiful woman who handed it to me.” He held it to his heart for effect.

Misty’s hand twitched in preparation to yank his ear and save the poor woman.

“Is the party over?” The receptionist asked confused.

“Not yet.” Gary answered. “But we gotta run. This party is just about wrapping up anyway. Professor Sycamore just updated me. We’re meeting with him; He’s staying at the Pokémon center a little ways back here tonight and since it’s already near sunset we’re gonna have a long trek back and I want to get there before it gets pitch black out.

“Oh well then, I hope you all had a wonderful time!” She smiled sweetly. “Please come back and visit.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…” Brock stared at her dreamily.

“—Come on Brock!” Misty said forcefully giving his a shove as he was the only one still standing there when everyone else was heading out.

“Wait a minute!” Gary stopped abruptly and held his card up to the light. “Nah, ok we’re good. Let’s go.”

Leaf rolled her eyes and shifted her weight to her right hip and scoffed.

“Figures if it was you—”

“—Well did you get the special card? Hmm?” He smirks.

She stuck her tongue out at him and stalked ahead.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

They all followed out onto the amber golden side street; lit and glowing by the string of street lamps that begun to turn on at this hour.

Misty hung back a bit though a part of her itching to go back inside. Just find out if she was right??

“Hey, you ok?” Leaf looped an arm with hers directing her forward. She didn’t realize she started walking backwards to keep the palace in view just in case she changed her mind…

“Yea..”

“Liar.” She stared into her not buying into it.

“…I know this is gonna sound crazy but I could have sworn I saw… Ash.” She finally said it.

Brock and Gary both stopped several steps ahead, turned their heads and stared at her blinking.

Leaf looked puzzled as well. All was silent for a moment until Gary spoke up.

“Well it’s official someone spiked that punch. I knew everyone there was a little tipsy. It must be a Kalos thing. You know how many cheek kisses I got tonight?” He winced as soon as his brain caught up to his mouth.

“How many cheek kisses did you get tonight? Hmm?” Leaf crossed her arms. Not amused.

“Um.. it’s not important…” he waved a hand and quickly dismissed getting flustered at her scrutiny. He turned back to Misty for the quick excuse.

“How much punch did you drink?”

“None.” she deadpanned folding her arms.

“Misty ..” Brock started carefully “You know that’s a little hard to believe right?”

“I know. I know! It’s just I saw a Pikachu—”

“—A lot of trainers have Pikachu’s.”

“He was with a boy with black hair!—”

“—Lot of trainers have black hair.”

She threw her hands up in the air exasperated.

“Well he has been in Kalos right?! I mean he—”

“—So are thousands of other trainers…”

After this back and forth for a while trying to convince her that was sorta…impossible. Garry got the biggest smirk.

“You know what I think it is?” They all turned back to him. “I think that it’s just you wanted Ashy-Boy to be the one you were dancing with tonight. So naturally your mind would come to that unbelievable conclusion.”

That was it. He knew exactly what button to press to stop this conversation dead in its tracks. He chalked it up to a win in his book of comeback arguments he’s been ever slightly more defeated in winning ever since inviting Leaf along.

Her cheeks to the bridge of her nose flushed a pink hue. She opened her mouth, closed it, then quickly opened it again.

“Fine! You know what?! Let’s just forget this!”

She gritted her teeth and stomped ahead now leading the group back to the Pokémon center.

Maybe one day the next time she saw him back in Pallet she would just subtly bring up if he was ever at that location… at that particular time… on that particular day in Kalos? It started to sound even more un-convincing. Maybe they were right, Kalos was a big region. It was too big of a coincidence as well.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Seriously what were the chances that could even happen?! A coincidence like that?!

Ours wasn’t coincidence.

“Huh?”

“I don’t believe it could be just a coincidence that I met you out of all people.”

“What do you mean—”

“Ash?”

“Huh?”

“You ok? You kind of zoned out there for a minute.”

Authors note: Collaboration with @pok3n who made me actually turn into a fic instead of just a head cannon. She also attributed some of her own dialogue and ideas that were frekin fantastic like the opening flashback scenes and a lot of other things. I honestly wouldn’t post anything if it wasn’t for her. But we talked though it and decided.. yea ok it might work lol (your amazing!)

Special credit to @pkmncoordinators The addition of “Leaf” was inspired by TAC. Her mannerisms, personality, the teasing nickname she calls Gary “garebare” as well as I think all of her Pokémon being female is all a credit to that masterpiece and its author. It’s basically my personal established Leaf cannon. Also made me a conflict/leafgreen shipper not gonna lie lol.

I know this is just a one shot but I will say this I wanted to explain my reasoning in more detail on the way I wrote this. Cause it’s something I never did before but also it was just gonna end up being a 10 page authors note and I don’t think anyone wants to read that. But if any of you do read this and are kinda confused as to something or just have a question about it my ask box and messages are open! (They always are) odds are I have the answers :)!

I will possibly expand upon the Kalos Mega Evolution Research Trip as a separate story in the future. This was just that specific memorable scene. Also I might expand on the Gary & Leaf backstory which was how they reacquainted with each other possibly in the anime. I recently posted a little head cannon about that I might explore more.  

And Lastly… This honestly my favorite thing I have done! I would make it a full fledged comic if I had any drawing capability whatsoever cause it’s essentially one scene with dividers. But since I don’t oh well.. I’m just happy I could make it into a fic. I didn’t do anything this complicated before so initially it was just gonna be a very vague head cannon and I didn’t think it was gonna work. But it did and I’m just so so proud of this! :,)

[vivithefolle]

Can you rec some Ronarry fics? (Preferably long ones?) Sorry if I'm annoying you.

You’re not annoying me at all, Anon! :D Thought I’m super frustrated because I’ve read one very long fic that has Ron searching for Harry, who has amnesia and ran away to America (and is gay but nobody knew that) and Ron realizes he’s in love with Harry and the fic has about 30 chapters and it’s on FFN but I can’t find it!! x_x

Sooo… I didn’t find that many long fics but I can give you a long list of them if you want?

Beautiful FriendIt took six years for Harry to learn something in History of Magic.This one. Oh my lord this one… it’s short, but it’s amazing. It’s full of lovely lively details and Harry’s description of Ron is… aaaww.

Life DrawingDean watches, and sees something unexpected.Again, the descriptions! My lord the descriptions, and also you will relate very much to Dean if you’ve ever worked with pencils.

Something They Can Barely SeeHarry has no idea how to tell his best friend he wants more that friendship. He’s pretty sure this would be hell of a lot easier if he knew for sure how Ron felt about him.This one is plenty cute. Ron is adorable and Harry… Harry’s trying his best. :’D

Our Inner BeastsLater, Madam Pomfrey would tell them that both Bill and Ron were going to survive. But she had no idea what the effects of a werewolf bite, when the werewolf was still in human form, could do to their behavior.Okay, who’s up for writing more Creature!Ron fics? Seriously. Someone do some more of those. Here we have Ron as a werewolf, aggressive, feral, self-loathing… doesn’t matter, Harry loves him.

Running with the Wolf, Loving the Mansnapshots of Harry Potter’s life with a werewolf boyfriendFollow-up of Our Inner Beasts. Someone heard our prayers and gave us more Werewolf!Ron, and it’s as wonderful as it sounds.

What HappenedThat’s just the thing, though. He doesn’t know what happened. He can’t pinpoint a single event where everything suddenly made sense. There was no epiphany or choir of angels or aligning of stars, or any of the other rubbish Parvarti goes on about in the Great Hall. There’s no one moment when he realized, “Oh.”Ron and Harry’s friendship, only it’s not just friendship. The last line will make you want to put on some epic music.

Follow The Butterflies“Why did it have to be spiders?” Ron moaned. “Why couldn’t we follow the butterflies?” Harry privately agreed with his best friend, but if there was anything Hogwarts had taught him, then that if he didn’t do something, no one would. “I promise the next time we have to follow anything, it will be butterflies.”Harry and Ron’s friendship again, with more butterflies thrown in the mix. It’s just as perfect as it sounds. If you don’t ship Harry/Ron, this fanfic might just change your mind.

Sonnets of Magical InterferenceHarry receives some strange notes about his love life, or lack thereof.By the end of that fic, you might just cheer for a very controversial character.

HeavenHarry’s heaven includes Ron.Features Ron being emotional over a movie, Chinese takeout, and Harry being a sap. What more could you ask for?

Harry Potter And The World That Went Bloody Insane“I know something you don’t know” is, apparently, the essence of Harry Potter’s love life. Harry’s certain that the world has been reading one too many romance novels, but then, Harry’s always been a bit oblivious.Featuring Protective!Attentive!Caring!Ron and Oblivious!Harry in their stinky flat and everyone shipping Harry/Ron. It’s awesome.

Check MateHarry questions his dreams, Ron has a scary one of his own, Hermione and Cho plot, and Seamus and Dean obsess.Harry’s subconscious has lots of funny ideas. Ron is ridiculously cute. Might be a bit difficult to read because of FFN’s shitty formating for line breaks.

On The OutsideHarry doesn’t think there’s much point to his being gay. He can’t have regular sex, he can’t have children, and he can’t tell his best friend he’s in love with him.Ron is utterly adorable, do I really have to say it? Why, yes, yes I do.

Newton’s LawFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reactionCheck out this author’s other Harry/Ron fics. I especially like Brass Ring; in the meantime, have a rather in-character reaction of Hermione and Ginny finding out about their ex-boyfriends dating. Hey, not my fault if JKR doesn’t know how to write strong female characters without making them abusive.

Sleeping BeautyThe most gen ever retelling of Sleeping Beauty.Who cares if it’s gen, it’s amazing. Harry sleeps, Ron is wonderful, and ants get colorful.

The Complexities Of Muggle MachineryHarry bought a refrigerator. Then it was a microwave. Then a blender. Thursday was the coffee brewer. Ron really liked that last one.Ron is absolutely, heart-stoppingly, adorably cute and pretty much just like I imagine him to be around Muggle things. Harry’s lucky.

After the cupcakesThey never really talked about it but they are each other’s world. And perhaps a lazy Sunday morning is as good a time as any to finally say something.Utterly sappy and fluffy and you know me, I was mostly there for Harry’s description of Ron. It didn’t disappoint.

Sing Your LoveThroughout the years they’ve lived together, Harry has always enjoyed Ron’s singing but lately he’s been picking up hidden messages in his flatmate’s song choices.Do you like Ron singing? Do you like Ron dancing? Do you like Ron crying his heart out over an emotionally oblivious Harry? Well in that case you’ve found the perfect fic!

Snakes & LaddersAfter the final battle with Voldemort, Harry intends to get on with his life. There’s just one problem; he was supposed to have died when he confronted Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest and now the Other Side is trying to collect him. But in the space between his ‘death’ and the victory celebrations, Harry’s fallen in love… and he’s not going to give up his second chance without a fight.A complicated premise, a complicated tale, a very worried Ron, a very determined Harry, an entirely unwelcome Severus Snape coming from beyond the Veil, all leading up to an epic confrontation in the Other Side. Who knew the afterlife had a court?

Now, it’s time for… TEH SMUT! D:Every story below this text will have MATURE CONTENT. Shoo, children, shoo!

Partners (last chapter gets NSFW)What if the girls hadn’t come in just then?  What course of action would Harry, in his desperate frame of mind, have latched onto instead?This fanfic made one of my most desperate wishes come true. For those who don’t know me, I’ll just tell you that Cinderella isn’t a matter of gender.

Scars (warning: mentions of self-harm)Ron is embarrassed of his scars, and Harry might be able to help.Ron is his terribly self-loathing self, but at least Harry is there to remind him of what we Ron-lovers know: that he’s loved and beautiful.

The Matchmaker (contains sexual mention)Sir Nicholas has never had a couple like these two…Nearly-Headless Nick ships Harry and Ron. So does the entire Gryffindor House. All in all, just what we need.

Exploring The Spectrum (NSFW at the end)Ron wakes up to find he can only see in a single colour.Very interesting mystery and clever use of a forgotten plot point. The resolution is basically “sex solves everything” but otherwise it’s a great story.

Hug! Hug! Kiss! (second-to-last drabble is NSFW)Ron loses Harry in a foreign land. In other words, Harry accidentally joins a Japanese boy band.This story is ridiculous, confusing, crazy, and absolutely hilarious. No existing celebrities were harmed.

Just Another Teenage Epoch - Ron Weasley, 1999 (NSFW at the end)Ron wants to be an Auror, and he wants to not grow up, and he really wants other people to stop kissing Harry.The classic mistletoe tale! Ron is not amused at all. It’s okay, we’re rooting for him (and Harry is, too).

Trapped in Winter (NSFW at the end)Harry and Ron have an argument. When Ron goes to storm out of the room, he’s frozen in time, and when Harry touches him to see what’s the matter, they’re both transported to a snowy winter wonderland.A surprising premise that leads to a confused, hurt Ron and a tight-lipped Harry, and of course, to Harry/Ron. Pretty nice!

That We Might Be Exactly Like We Were (warning: graphic self-harm, realistic depression, themes of suicide)'Everything just takes me back, to when you were there…’This author pretty much nails what depression is like. She also has several other Harry/Ron fanfics that are written just as expertly as this one, but be forewarned, they tend to deal with very upsetting topics as well. Sadly, I could see her version of Ron existing in the canon we know.

Slow Slide (get out) to a Better Place (warning: abuse and r*pe)Harry told himself that everything was fine in his relationship with Ginny, at least until he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. And by then, he thought it might be too late.  Fortunately, he has two very good friends who will always be there for him, one of whom might eventually be something more.Downside: Ginny fans should NOT read this story. Upside: contains Vivi’s most beloved ship, Romione + Ronarry.

Prelude and Fugue (NSFW in the middle)It took over an hour, from the time Harry arrived at work, for him to realise just how different today actually was.The “Groundhog Day” loop is wonderfully done, you can actually feel the weariness building as Harry wakes up and notices it’s still Monday, bloody Monday.And Ron is absolutely adorable - yes, I’ll say it every time!

Princes of Maine (NSFW at the end)Harry wakes one morning to find an abandoned baby on his doorstep. Little does he know that this is only the beginning of his most challenging adventure yet: parenthood.You want Harry as a single parent and not knowing anything about babies? You have it. You want Ron as a competent Healer who’s sick of Harry’s shit and determined to get answers as to why his best mate is a wreck? You have it. You want Harry/Ron? What are you waiting for, dive in!

Still looking for more? Take a look at this post!

[buttermilkfairy]

@vexedvenus tagged me forever ago and I honestly forgot I had this in my drafts so I thought I’d update it haaaa so srry tho- this is atleast a year late lo l

Questions for me:

1.) coffee, tea, or soda?

oof tea all the way- coffee is usually too bitter for me and I really hate the way your breath smells after drinking it lol

2.) what are your favorite colors?

green/yellow or the combination of the two usually catches my eye first, although I like fall colors in general- oh and plum + blush pink

3.) what is a favorite quote of yours?

idk- its probably something from a vine or tiktok skit

4.) if you could eat only one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

mm idk i’m pretty simple when it comes to food- anything in combo with rice probably? squash, beans, baked mac n cheese.. I would eat anthing if I could mix it with rice somehow lol

5.) tell me about a memory that never fails to make you smile!

6.) at the moment, what are some of your favorite songs?

Dirty Work (steely dan), good morning (bleachers), start a riot (duckwrth), REEL IT IN (amine), aand lookalike (conan gray)

7.) do you have any pets? if so, what kind and what are their names?

I have a cat named montague/monty- he’s a big baby and vents a lot

8.) talk to me about some of your ambitions, long or short term.

!!! my dream is to make illustrations for florist shops and maybe one day open my own?? im saving up for floral arrangment classes so that I can whip up a small portfolio and get an internship--  mm and I also wanna start a youtube channel eventually, however the idea of becoming an online presence seems out of reach to me ha 

9.) what’s something you want to do before you die?

brave of you to assume I’d die at some point lol- I guess going to Scotland would be nice? I'd probably implode honestly??? Not to mention it’s sooo green there and I bet the air is hella C R I S P-  

I’d also like to visit the Tucson Gem & Mineral Show in Arizona!!

10.) are there any mythological creatures you believe exist?

I used to believe in mermaids growing up haa- I watched this strange documentary on them and hadn’t stopped questioning the possibilty since! although, I think I lean more towards the non-believer side now:(

11.) do you have any book or poetry recommendations?

I don’t read much anymore- all the books I do have are about wildlife? I really like the illustrations in ID books so, id probably recommend underwater california and the wildflowers of california. Idk is that a strange recommendation?? I used to read dictionaries as a kid so I honestly wouldnt know..

My questions for you:

1.) Whats your favorite song lyric?

2.) Do you believe in astrology? whats your zodiac sign?

3.) Tell me what your proud of!

4.) What smells make you happy?

5.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

6.) Favorite movie/tv series?

7.) What do you hate the most? your biggest pet peeve?

8.) Whats something positive about yourself? 

9.) What are your goals for 2019+?

10.) Whats your favorite vine/tiktok quote?

11.) Give me a list of your favorite flowers!

so ugh- now im supposed to start tagging: @miss-wiggle @missesthunderkin  @shhigeo @owlbedamn @miblue 

[choicessa]

Unbreak My Heart (Drake x MC)

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake x MC (Elizabeth)

Words: ~5000 (LIES, IT’S 5400 LONG AND I’VE ALREADY SHORTENED IT AS MUCH AS I COULD I’M SO SORRY)

Summary: Thinking that she has lost Drake forever, Elizabeth is finally ready to say her final goodbye to him…

Note: Okay, just to prepare you – it is quite angsty, very much at the beginning, but the ending is happy so I hope you will forgive me the feels?? Please forgive me the feels...

It was written for the request I got - @lazychic28 I know you’ve been waiting a long time for this and I hope you will enjoy this!!! <3 Also thank you sooo much for requesting <3

Warnings! Swearing, mention of death.

Tagging @mariawalkerwrites, @chantelle-x0x and @the-everlasting-dream who had to deal with my ramblings and helped me with bringing this idea to life <3 Aaaand also tagging @kamybelen-blog, just as I promised <3

Elizabeth was afraid.

Afraid of this confrontation she wasn’t ready for. She hoped that after such a long time she would forget, but the wound in her heart was still fresh, the sorrow felt just the same as the first day and the crazy beating of her broken heart wasn’t making anything easier… When she got here, Elizabeth hoped she’ll finally be able to face it, capable of confronting everything that had happened but the closer she was, the further her legs were carrying her, the more she was afraid, the more she wanted to turn around, return to her car and get away from here as far as possible. But it was too late. Too late for being a coward… Elizabeth took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, her hands clenching into fists just to relax moments later when girl finally stopped in one place. There was no turning back now… There was a dead silence around her, not a single leaf was rustling, there wasn’t even the slightest breeze that could disturb that strange serenity. There was not a living soul around her, not even a single human voice coming from the distance; even the noises of cars passing by seemed muted in that very moment. And only the quiet singing of the birds, occupying the branches above her head, disturbed that silence, the sad notes of their songs adding even more pain to her heart. But Liz knew she couldn’t run anymore. She could no longer live with a grief from the things she had lost. She had to face her fears once and for all. Here and now.

Elizabeth didn’t know for how long she stood there, how long it took before she dared to open her eyes. She was afraid that the view would rekindle the sorrow in her heart, the one she tried so hard to suppress for the last weeks. Sorrow and regret after everything she had lost… But when she stood there, staring at one point in front of her, the only thing she could think about was their last meeting, the last time she had seen him, the last moment in between spent together in each other’s arms, before everything started to fall apart… That one last moment of happiness before his one single decision destroyed everything they had. That one last moment she saw him alive…

 There was no time. No time for tears, no time to think whether she was safe. Because all she could think of were the passing seconds and Drake’s life escaping with them, when he rested in her arms, with each breath fighting for his dear life.

Elizabeth remembered she was screaming, her scream getting lost in the noise of the shouts of other people running away, scream becoming just a whisper in comparison to the bullets flying around. However, someone heard her. She remembered strong hands gripping her, she remembered that she resisted them as much as she could when the same hands dragged her further and further away, and she desperately stretched her arms towards a man still lying on the floor, not wanting to leave him.

She didn’t remember the moment when she found herself in the ambulance, when Drake was on a stretcher next to her, paramedics methodically connecting him to devices monitoring his life activities. Liz remembered his weak glance when his eyes found her and his lips lifted in a faint smile, as if he was glad that at least she didn’t have to suffer. Elizabeth reached for his hand, usually so warm, giving her the strength and consolation she so often needed, and now so cold, barely reciprocating her grip. But she had to hope. She had to hope everything would be fine.

They didn’t let her follow him. She could only stand in the hospital’s hallway, helplessly watching Drake disappearing in the distance behind the door, which slammed shut, suddenly taking away all the remnants of her strength. If it weren’t for Liam standing right behind her, if it weren’t for his hands, the ones that had previously pulled her out of the ballroom, she would inevitably collapse on the floor. He looked at her, her friend, her king, worried not only about her, but also about the life of his best friend, the one he had known since childhood, the truest he had. There was uncertainty in his eyes, fear, the same fear that she felt. What if…

"He will be okay ... He will be okay ..." Elizabeth shook her head, repeating those words like a prayer, almost like it was the only think helping her still stand straight, not allowing her to fall on the floor.

He had to survive. He couldn’t leave her alone in this world, he couldn’t leave her when there was still so much she wanted to tell him, so many moments to spend together, waiting for them... He couldn’t leave when they had just got a real chance for their happiness, chance to finally be together... Minutes changed into hours as she and Liam remained silent, not saying a word, in their mutual silence finding strength and support they needed to survive this night.

And then there were screams.

The voice through the megaphone spoke words Elizabeth didn’t understand, a sudden commotion as two doctors ran down the hall, their coats flapping behind them like flags when Elizabeth could only watch, with her breath held, as they ran into the room where the only future she had was fighting for his life.

She felt like a robot, her legs moving regardless of the will of her head when she, not paying attention to Liam's protests, pushed the heavy door in and went inside. Just before her appeared another door, but this one she didn’t dare to open. She came closer, like in trance, her eyes locked on a small window, through which she saw everything.

And suddenly Elizabeth realized that she didn’t want to see it at all.

The crowd gathered around Drake's unconscious body, his pale face almost white in the light of surgical lamps. Elizabeth could clearly see how the doctors' lips moved, their eyebrows drawn in a nervous grimace, one of them wiping sweat from his forehead as another pressed his hands against Drake's chest, squeezing it in a steady rhythm. Although she didn’t hear anything through the closed door, she knew they were screaming, each one giving instructions to the other as they desperately tried to keep alive a body that was already giving up. Her gaze moved again, this time stopping on a monitor showing a flat line, where peaks of Drake’s heartbeat were just moments ago.

Cold sweat covered her skin as she turned away, meeting Liam's eyes, standing just behind her, his unreadable eyes staring at the scene taking place in front of them.

“He will survive… Right?”  Her voice was barely a whisper when tears glistened in her eyes. “Will he be okay?”

But a comfort she was seeking, wasn’t there. She was hoping for an encouraging Liam’s smile, which could convince her that everything indeed will be okay. She just needed one small sign of reassurance to let her breathe again, but when Liam looked at her, from his face she could already read his answer, the truth she feared so much.

He won’t be okay.

Never.

 Memories disappeared almost as quickly as they flooded her mind, leaving only pain reflecting on girl’s face, the one she couldn’t hide. Slowly, Elizabeth let out air from her lungs, remembering how to breathe again and she took one last step.

It was there, a white marble grave, hidden in the shadow of a tree, almost unnoticeable for someone who didn’t know what to look for. Her hands clenched into fists, when she was once again resisting the urge to cry, to run away, all the regrets she had coming back at once. She was never at his funeral. She couldn’t bring herself to do it, she couldn’t say goodbye to him like that. Some part of her felt that if she didn’t go, if she didn’t see how they put him into a coffin, she would be able to pretend it never happened, that one day she would simply wake up in the morning and he would come back to her, stand by her side again and everything will be as it was before. But this weak hope died when she realized that it would never happen. That he was gone. Really gone. Hundreds of times she was stopping by the gates of the cemetery, ready to get off, ready to say her goodbye, but she never could. Until now. It was the first time she really came here, first time she was standing in front of his grave, for the first time she was seeing the letters engraved in the stone.

                                                  Drake Walker

                                                    06.05.1991

                                                    23.08.2018

                                             Son. Brother. Friend.

Friend… Elizabeth took a few steps closer and kneeled down in front of it, her fingers hesitantly touching the cold stone, following the outline of engraved letters. Friend… Oh, he was so much more than just a friend to her… He was the man she loved more than anything, he was her everything, her future. Once. But not anymore. Now he took their future into the grave, killing all of her hope and leaving her… empty.

Elizabeth swallowed hard, her fingers tracing the letters of his name, almost like she wanted to capture his presence, as if this little act could help her feel what it was like to have him next to her again. There was so much she wanted to tell him… About Liam becoming a great king. How they finally managed to catch the bastards responsible for the attack on the palace. She wanted to tell him everything, pass on the latest rumors, laugh at the next stupid things Maxwell did… But she couldn’t. Not a single word left her throat. It was not the same. How could she tell him all of this, when she knew he would never be part of her life again? That she would never sit with him, whiskey in their hands? That she will never know the happiness of spending even the shortest moment with him by his sight again…

“You promised you’ll never lie to me…” Elizabeth whispered, silently and her words drifted into the silence surrounding her, interrupted only by birds, singing in the distance. “But you did…” She added, knowing that no one will hear her anyway.

But she had to. All those words she was holding inside her for such a long time, all those things she wanted to say but couldn’t, now threatened of exploding inside of her, threatened of consuming her. And even if he couldn’t hear that, she had to tell him, she had to finally said it all out loud.

“You told me you’ll never leave me… You told me we will be fine…” She whispered once again and one, unwanted tear streamed down her cheek. “But you lied… You lied to me then, for the first and last time…” Elizabeth raised her face and blinked several times, her vision blurry from the tears gathering in her eyes, the ones she tried to resist so much.

“We were meant to be together. Forever.” She said, taking deep breath. “Do you remember our jokes? During that one crazy night of drinking?” Elizabeth smiled and shook her head at the memories of their conversation. “A nice cabin somewhere far from the city, a big garden, us, sitting on a porch, sipping whiskey while watching a sunset…” Though she was smiling, more and more tears were streaming down her cheeks but Elizabeth didn’t even bother to wipe them away. “Do you remember… Do you remember how we joked how crazy it would be for us getting married? ” She laughed, it was laugh full of pain, full of lost chances, laugh of a girl who knew that those dreams will never happen. Never. “We both agreed that it was crazy, but… It wasn’t crazy for me. I could picture that. My life as your wife, Drake. The rest of my days spend by your side…” Elizabeth shook her head again, finally wiping her tears away, with irritation, almost like she’d just noticed them. “But you had to take it all away with you, didn’t you?” Now her voice was hard as steel, her back straightened, almost like she was a statue, not a broken girl crying after the love of her life. “You left me, Drake… You left me you fucking bastard!” Almost involuntarily she raised her voice, echo of it spreading through the cemetery, frightening few of the birds sitting on the nearest tree.

There was no point in blaming him, she knew that. It was never his fault after all, not entirely, but… somehow it made her feel better, it made her burden lighter. Burden of regrets, all those words she has never spoken, all those confession she was too afraid to say…

“You left me…” This time her voice was almost a whisper, when she dropped to her knees, sob overtaking her body. “You left me alone in this world, Drake…” She had to lean her hand against the grave so she wouldn’t fall, suddenly feeling powerless, weak. “And I’ve never even told you how much you mean to me, how much I love you… ” Her last words got lost in the sound of a cry escaping her lips when she pressed her forehead to the cold stone, not capable of holding the tears anymore.

It was like all the pain was leaving her in that very moment. All those sleepless nights she spent on staring blankly at the wall, not having more tears to cry out, no more strength to do that; all those days feeling like a ghost of a person she once was; all those moments of pretending she was okay when she really wasn’t… It was all too much in that moment. She didn’t know for how long she was sitting there, hot tears falling on her cheeks and knees, the cold marble cooling her forehead, her hand clenching on the stone. Until finally her sobs stopped and Elizabeth looked up, sniffing before wiping her tears away. He belonged to the chapter in her life she needed to close, once and for all. She couldn’t live like that, with ghosts of the past chasing her, following her every step like a shadow. She couldn’t live on constantly thinking about ‘ what could have been’ and ‘what if’. She had to move on. She had to finally say goodbye. Goodbye to her friend. Goodbye to her lover. Goodbye to all of her hopes and dreams. Because without him she had no future anymore…

“Goodbye… Drake…” She whispered.

Elizabeth slowly got up, brushing off her pants and she took a deep breath, wiping away the remnants of tears drying on her cheeks. One last time gazing into the direction of the white marble she finally turned around and made her way back to the car. She closed the door and exhaled slowly, suddenly noticing a small white envelope, laying on the shotgun seat. No name, no stamp. Just the envelope. Hesitantly Liz reached out for it, carefully watching it from every side, almost like she expected it to just explode in her hands. But it was just the envelope, how big harm could it cause? Liz opened it with a sigh and pulled out a small note, bend in two, just a few words written on it.

 Tonight. 7 pm.

 Elizabeth frowned, turning the paper once again, noticing the coordinates on the other side, probably showing her the exact destination. Where the hell did this envelope come from? She knew she didn’t close her car, but when she came here there was not a single person around. The girl raised her head and looked around, almost like she expected to see that mysterious messenger, who had left this note. But the area was empty, just like moments ago. Elizabeth looked down, once again turning the note in her hands, almost automatically checking the time. 4:08. She glanced once more at the few words, written by the unknown hand and sighed heavily. Did she have anything to lose?

 ~~~

 Punctually at seven o'clock Elizabeth stopped in front of the small house hidden at the edge of the forest and turned off the engine, eyeing the small but neat house, hidden from prying eyes. What was she even doing here? She shook her head and got out of the car, with each step repeating to herself that she was asking herself for some troubles, coming alone to an unknown place, just because she got a mysterious message. All the bad horror stories started like this... Holding her breath, Liz raised her hand to knock on the door which, to her surprise, opened as soon as she touched them.

Elizabeth raised her brow, suddenly feeling that strange nervousness when her heart started to beat faster and she pushed the doors, carefully looking inside.

“Hello?” She asked, her gaze moving around.

The lights were on and she could swear that she heard someone’s footsteps in the next room. Her heart began to beat faster again, when for the first time this evening she thought that maybe it was just a trap. Maybe the threat didn’t end with getting rid of the assassins and maybe she made the biggest mistake of her life, coming here without telling anyone where she was going. And now it was too late. Liz swallowed and closed the door behind her, entering the living room. Fire was lit in the fireplace, and everything looked just as if someone had left the house suddenly, leaving everything in one place.

"Maxwell?" Elizabeth asked, for a moment listening to the crackle of the fireplace, when a crazy idea popped up in her head. "Maxwell, if it's you and it's your way of making me feel better, then ..."

Her voice caught in her throat when she heard footsteps in the hallway and finally saw a figure stopping at the threshold. And that person most definitely wasn’t Maxwell Beaumont…  Elizabeth squinted her eyes, almost like she couldn’t believe her own sight anymore, until finally her eyes widened, when she understood who was the person she was seeing. That there was no mistake.

No… It was impossible…

But he was there, the same jeans shirt thrown over white t-shirt, brown hair falling on his forehead when he slowly made another step, coming to the light, coming into the room, coming to her. Elizabeth wasn’t sure if her heart had stopped at that moment or on the contrary, it was beating like crazy; she couldn’t even say whether they were standing like this for seconds or hours, and all she could hear was the sound of blood rushing through her ears.

But then her legs moved almost independently from her mind, slowly at first until she rushed towards him, towards the man she thought she lost but now he was there, right within the reach of her hand. Before she knew what exactly was happening, her arms reached out to him, wrapping around his neck with no hesitation, her fingers grasping the endings of his hair when she desperately closed her embrace around him, leaning her head against his arm. He was real. It wasn’t a mirage or hallucinations of her broken heart. He was really here. His arms were closing around her, his strong hands pulling her as close as he could, leaving not a single inch of space between their bodies, his warm breath caressing the skin on her cheeks when he whispered sweet apologies into her ear, when he kept on kissing every inch of her face, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. There was no mistake, his scent, his warmth, that feeling of his body right next to hers – It was all real.

“You’re alive…” Elizabeth whispered, felling that the grip of his arms grew even tighter around her when she spoke those words. “You’re here…”

“I am… And I promise you, Harris, I’m not going anywhere…” His nose dipped into her hair, when he pressed another kiss to her temples, his hands moving in soothing circles on her back.

Elizabeth couldn’t remember when was the last time she felt like that. Safe. Loved. Happy. Relieved. And so… Furious. To his surprise, she took a step back and looked up at him, her suddenly steel gaze meeting the uncertain look of his eyes.

“Where the hell have you been!?” She asked, her voice dangerously raised. “Why the hell have you done that!?”

“Harris, listen, I…”

“I thought you were dead, Drake! Dead!”

“I know I…”

“Can you even imagine what I’ve been through!? You left me! You left me alone, letting me think that I lost you forever! I fucking mourned you! And now you simply show up, like nothing had happened!?”

“Liz, please, just hear me out, I…” He reached out to her, taking her hands in his grasp, but the girl jerked them away, snorting.

“What the hell were you thinking!? How could you do this to me!?” Elizabeth clenched her hands into fists and began to hit him, landing angry punches over his body. "It's been weeks! Long weeks, when like an idiot I was crying over losing someone who lived and had a great time, hiding in this stupid cabin!" She cried out again, hitting him on the shoulders, torso, practically everywhere. “How could you!?”

Drake wasn’t even defending himself. He simply let her hit him again and again, looking at the rage written on her face when with every punch she shouted in his face that it was all his fault, asking him why was he such an egoist and why had he left her behind, letting her think she lost him forever. But when she saw tears forming in her eyes, tears of anger, tears of sorrow, tears of relief, he grabbed her wrists, gently but firmly, forcing her to stop.

„Listen to me, Harris! I had no choice!” Drake raised his voice, almost desperately looking into her eyes. “They made me, okay!?”

Elizabeth didn’t answer. At first she just stopped, until finally her hands fell limp, now held only by the man's grip. She opened her mouth, then closed it, swallowing the words she had prepared and took a deep breath.

“What do you mean ‘they made you’?” She murmured. “Who are those ‘they’?”

Drake sighed, letting go of her hands and taking a step back. It was a time to tell her the truth. The whole truth.

“I don’t know how do they call themselves but… They’re group of patriots, defenders, ready to give up their lives for Cordonia, for our king.”

“And? How the hell did you find them?”

“I didn’t find them, they found me.” Another deep breath, almost like he was gathering his courage to share those memories, to share everything with her. “When I was in that hospital, waiting for the surgery, they came to me, asking for help.” Drake turned around from her, sitting down on the couch, his gaze locked on the fire buzzing in the fireplace. “They asked for my help in catching the people responsible for the palace attack. I was supposed to be the one providing information and they were supposed to get rid of the threat. Under one condition. I had to remain dead.”

“And you just agreed? Just like that!?”

“Do you think I had much of a choice? I was half conscious, feeling nothing but pain from my wound, considering their offer was my last problem back then, of course I agreed!”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing for all this time? Hiding to catch some bad guys? Helping who knows who!?”

“I didn’t have a choice! I made my promise and I am a man of my word! Especially when it meant to protect Cordonia. When it meant to protect you!” He looked at her, for a moment holding her gaze until finally he turned his head, his eyes locked on the fire once again.

“But why all of this? Why pretending you were dead?”

“To lure them out. To let them feel they can’t be punished, they can’t be caught. They got a casualty, they killed someone. But not only someone – they shot king’s best friend, who died protecting a new duchess. They thought that one success can lead to another one. They got bold. Reckless. So they started to make one mistake after another and it didn’t take long for us to catch them.” For a moment it looked like he was trying to say something more but he just sighed, looking down, shaking his head. “I thought it was the only way… I did it for you, Elizabeth. To protect you. I couldn’t stand by your side and take every bullet for you, I had to act. I had to get rid of the biggest threat – people responsible for everything that had happened.”

“I understand that, but…”

“But…?”

Elizabeth didn’t respond. Instead she hesitantly approached him, sitting on the other side of the couch, nervously rubbing her hands against each other before she finally placed them on her knees.

“But why didn’t you  come to me sooner?” She finally asked, avoiding his gaze, unable to look into his eyes. “Why didn’t you show up when everything was over?”

Drake nodded, almost like he was expecting that question.

“I was afraid, Harris… I…” He moved hand through his hair, slowly exhaling a shaky breath. “I couldn’t make myself come to you, I was so afraid you’re going to hate me…”

“Hate you?”

“Look what I’ve done to you! Look what I’ve done to everyone! I let people I care about to think that I’m dead, I let all of you mourn me and I brought you so much pain… And for what? How could I ever ask for your forgiveness, how could I show my face to you when I was afraid that’s the last thing you want?” His sight dropped down when suddenly Drake moved  closer and took her hand, closing it in his palm, his thumb gently stroking the top of her hand, carefully, almost like it was made of porcelain and one careless move could broke her. “But then I saw you at that cemetery… Crying over a man you thought you lost, crying over all the things that can never be… I couldn’t do this to you anymore, I couldn’t let you live in that grief anymore.” He raised her palm and kissed the inside of it, his warm breath tickling her skin. “I had to talk to you, I had to explain and… beg you to forgive me.” He looked at her, something vulnerable in his gaze. “You can’t imagine how it was, not seeing you for all this time, just thinking of you, wondering if you were alright, being constantly afraid that maybe they hurt you too. But… the worst thing was that constant regret, that I let you think I left you; that I made you believe you’re not going to see me again. And all those things I didn’t say, though I wanted to so many times…” He hung his voice, grabbing her other palm into his hand, pulling her closer to him. “That regret haunting me every day that I’ve never told you how much you mean to me, Harris, how much I care for you, how much I… I love you…” He pressed her hands to his chest, his intense gaze of strangely glistening eyes locked on her face, when Elizabeth herself had to blink a few times, trying to get rid of the tears that threatened of gathering under her eyelids.

“Every day, thinking I’d never see you again was… a torment.” Elizabeth finally said, silently. “Knowing that I would never see your face, that I could never hide in embrace of your arms, knowing that I’d never know the taste of your kisses ever again…” Almost involuntarily her gaze moved, wandering around his lips before she looked down again. “That thought of never being able to tell you that I love you too…”

“Elizabeth…”

“Because I do love you, Drake, more than anything, more than anyone. And I don’t want to spend even a single day more dreaming about things we could have had. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life missing you, missing all the chances we had lost.” She reached out to him, placing her hand on his cheek, for the first time this night her lips lifting into a smile. “Because I want to live them. I had a glimpse of life without you, I could taste how my days would look, not having you by my side and I don’t want that kind of life. I don’t want to live like a ghost, I don’t want to live without you. Not anymore.”

“You don’t have to.” There was something in his voice that made Liz look at him and see that strange, vulnerable, now almost embarrassed gaze again. “Maybe this is a bad time for that but… I had a lot of time to think about different things, to think about future and… about us…” He hung his voice and reached into his pocket, revealing a small velvet box which could only hid one particular thing.

“Drake…” Elizabeth gasped but he shook his head, not letting her to say anything.

“I thought about it a lot and I understood that I’m done with it. I’m done with waiting, tired of fighting the odds, of taking everything for granted when the whole universe tries to prove to us that we can’t be together. But not anymore. We’ve already lost too much time and I don’t know how much left of it we still have but I want to spend every other moment of it with you. And only you.” He looked down and let go of her hand just to open the box and reveal the most beautiful ring she has ever seen, hidden inside.

“So what’d you say, Harris… Elizabeth? Will you take me as your husband?”

She thought she was mishearing things. That it was just the brain, playing tricks on her, showing pictures, giving words she wanted to hear so much. For a fraction of a second she was even scared that it was just a dream, a beautiful dream, which she would wake up from and everything would disappear. She reflexively dug her nails into her skin and with a beating heart greeted the pain that followed immediately. It wasn’t a dream. It was really happening.

Seconds has passed as Liz just stared at the ring in front of her eyes, wondering how they got here? How in fact, in just a few hours from the girl crying over the love of her life she suddenly became the happiest one? When did it actually happened that they were here, in that moment when barely fantasies, timidly dreamt in the evenings, suddenly became their reality? Her wide opened eyes moved, meeting his gaze, and her lips twitched, the corners of her mouth rising higher and higher, when to his astonishment her eyes began to glow. They glowed with tears, with joy, when her heart wanted to scream with happiness.

Her hands moved, reaching out in his direction as she threw her arms around him again, snuggling into his warm, familiar body, her mouth finding his in hot kisses, his lips meeting hers eagerly, his hands wrapping around her waist, with no hesitation pulling her closer to his body. Her hands were running through his hair, her lungs breathing in his familiar scent, her body almost desperately pressing to his, closing every existing space, as if Elizabeth still needed a reminder that it was really happening, that he was really here. His kisses were sweet, sweeter than she remembered, gentle, tasting of whiskey, of her own tears and the words she wanted to say, got lost between their lips meeting again and again.

But no words were needed here, she didn’t have to make a single sound, they both knew that she had only one answer to his question. Because she lost him once. And she didn’t plan on losing him again.

Yes.

A thousand times yes.

[thelegendofclarke]

um arya wanting to be the leader of a pack is never addressed? she doesnt necessarily want to lead a pack, she just wants a pack. arya’s pack would consist of people she knows and loves, not hundreds of random men. the fact that nymeria is a pack leader is a doesnt mean arya is going to be one. after everything she has been through all arya will want is to be peaceful with people she loves not be in the middle of a war.

Sooo I completely disagree with like, 99% of this… And I am being generous with the 1% because while I do agree that Arya will “want to be with the people she loves,” I don’t think I agree with the context in which you are using it.  

But ok, you are bringing up a few different things here, so for the sake of attempting to be semi-organized i’m going to try to go point by point…

The fact that nymeria is a pack leader is a doesnt mean arya is going to be one.

Well, to be quite honest, I would argue that’s pretty much exactly what it means?

The direwolves are immeasurably important for the Stark children. They are (pretty heavy handed) metaphors for the children and their Starkness in many ways, and the wolves’ arcs are full of allegories and foreshadowing. Its continuously emphasized that the wolves are special. It’s brought up numerous times that they were “meant” for the Stark children, destined for and delivered to them by the Old Gods…

There’s not been a direwolf sighted south of the Wall in two hundred years. AGOT, Bran I

“You have five trueborn children,” Jon said. “Three sons, two daughters. The direwolf is the sigil of your House. Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord…The direwolf graces the banners of House Stark,” Jon pointed out. “I am no Stark, Father.” Bran, AGoT

“What was it that Jon had said? When they found the pups in the snow? Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord. And he had killed Sansa’s, and for what?” Ned, AGOT

“These wolves are more than wolves, Robb. You must know that. I think perhaps the gods sent them to us. Your father’s gods, the old gods of the north.” Catelyn, ASoS

“He is part of you, Robb. To fear him is to fear you.”Catelyn, ASoSGhost did not count. Ghost was closer than a friend. Ghost was part of him.” Jon, ADWD

“Part of you is Summer, and part of Summer is you. You know that, Bran.” Jojen, ACoK

“… just as a part of you would remain in Summer if your boy’s flesh were to die upon the morrow.” Bryden, ADWD

“I am him and he is me. He feels what I feel.” Bran, ADWD

“‘Wolves and women wed for life,’ Haggon often said. ‘You take one, that’s a marriage. The wolf is part of you from that day on, and you’re part of him…’” Varamyr, ADWD

And having Nymeria be deeply connected to Arya’s fate won’t be the first time that it happens for a Stark child and their dire wolf.

Robb and Grey Wind died together, Robb’s last words were his wolf’s name.

Lady’s name is clearly symbolic of Sansa herself, as “Sansa was a lady at three.” Lady was killed as a sacrificial lamb for the Lannisters, punished for a crime she did not commit. Then Sansa became a soft of scapegoat/sacrificial lamb for them as well in Kings Landing, and shouldered the punishment for her family’s crimes against the throne. Just as she begged for Lady’s life in WF, she begged for her father’s life and for her own in KL.

Ghost has pretty much ~literally~ become his name by housing Jon’s spirit after he was killed by the Night’s Watch.  

I think Bran is going to be instrumental in bringing back the return of summer.

So what’s to say that Arya won’t become a leader, a skilled commander, a dedicated warrior, and a guardian of her people like Nymeria was?! The bond that each Stark has to their dire wolf wolf is completely unique and belongs only to them. Nymeria and Arya are obviously connected in a deep way, Nymeria is part of her. And honestly, I think that Arya’s connection with Nymeria is the strongest of all the Starks, including Jon who is currently posted up in his dire wolf’s body.

Despite only being together for a very brief period of time, Nymeria and Arya were able to form such a strong and and deeply cerebral bond that Arya wargs unconsciously into Nymeria pretty much every night. And when she warns, Arya cannot tell herself from; she essentially becomes Nymeria. She feels what Nymeria feels, senses what Nymeria senses, sees what Nymeria sees, and Nymeria’s pack is her pack.  Even though she doesn’t mean to do it, even though she isn’t even conscious of doing it, even though she doesn’t know it is Nymeria, even though they are different continents, the bond is still there. It defies time and space and distance…

The wolf dreams were the good ones. In the wolf dreams she was swift and strong, running down her prey with her pack at her heels. Arya, AFFC

I dreamed I was a wolf again. She could remember the smells best of all: trees and earth, her pack brothers, the scents of horse and deer and man, each different from the others, and the sharp acrid tang of fear, always the same. Some nights the wolf dreams were so vivid that she could hear her brothers howling even as she woke, and once Brea had claimed that she was growling in her sleep as she thrashed beneath the covers. She thought that was some stupid lie till Talea said it too. Arya, AFfC

She could hear the sound of her own breath, and the wolves as well, a great pack of them now. They are closer than the one I heard in the godswood, she thought.They are calling to me. Arya, ACoK

She was no little girl in the dream; she was a wolf, huge and powerful, and when she emerged from beneath the trees in front of them and bared her teeth in a low rumbling growl, she could smell the rank stench of fear from horse and man alike. Arya, ASoS

She dreamed of wolves most every night. A great pack of wolves, with her at the head. She was bigger than any of them, stronger, swifter, faster. […] And her brothers and sisters were with her, many and more of them, fierce and terrible and hers. Arya, ASoS

Her dreams were red and savage. The Mummers were in them, four at least, a pale Lyseni and a dark brutal axeman from Ib, the scarred Dothraki horse lord called Iggo and a Dornishman whose name she never knew. On and on they came, riding through the rain in rusting mail and wet leather, swords and axe clanking against their saddles. They thought they were hunting her, she knew with all the strange sharp certainty of dreams, but they were wrong. She was hunting them… She was no little girl in the dream; she was a wolf, huge and powerful, and when she emerged from beneath the trees in front of them and bared her teeth in a low rumbling growl, she could smell the rank stench of fear from horse and man alike. The Lyseni’s mount reared and screamed in terror, and the others shouted at one another in mantalk, but before they could act the other wolves came hurtling from the darkness and the rain, a great pack of them, gaunt and wet and silent. Arya, ASoS

Nymeria is even part of Arya’s false identity. When creating cat of the canals, arya’s story is that she came to braavos on a ship named Nymeria. And even when trying to be faceless, their bond is so deep that Arya cannot stop warging into Nymeria at night:

In her wolf dreams she was swift and strong, running down her prey with her pack at her heels. Arya, AFfC

I should not be dreaming wolf dreams, the girl told herself. I am a cat now, not a wolf. I am Cat of the Canals. The wolf dreams belonged to Arya of House Stark. Try as she might, though, she could not rid herself of Arya. It made no difference whether she slept beneath the temple or in the little room beneath the eaves with Brusco’s daughters, the wolf dreams still haunted her by night. Arya, AFFC

And Arya’s connection to the wolf pack is not just through Nymeria, their alpha. She comes across and/or senses members of the pack at various times during their March through the Riverlands. And when she does, she recognizes them, she communicates with them, and they acknowledge her.

“One of them came padding out from under the trees. He stared at her, and bared his teeth, and all she could think was how stupid she’d been and how Hot Pie would gloat when they found her half-eaten body the next morning. But the wolf turned and raced back into the darkness, and quick as that the eyes were gone.” Arya, ACoK

“She could hear the sound of her own breath, and the wolves as well, a great pack of them now. They are closer than the one I heard in the godswood, she thought. They are calling to me.” Arya, ACoK

“Once, from the crest of a ridge, she spied dark shapes crossing a stream in the valley behind them, and for half a heartbeat she feared that Roose Bolton’s riders were on them, but when she looked again she realized they were only a pack of wolves. She cupped her hands around her mouth and howled down at them, “Ahooooooooo, ahooooooooo.” When the largest of the wolves lifted its head and howled back, the sound made Arya shiver.” Arya, ASoS

“Somewhere far off she heard a wolf howling. It wasn’t very loud compared to the camp noise and the music and the low ominous growl of the river running wild, but she heard it all the same. Only maybe it wasn’t her ears that heard it.” Arya, ASoS

“They came upon three wolves devouring the corpse of a fawn. When Hot Pie’s horse caught the scent, he shied and bolted. Two of the wolves fled as well, but the third raised his head and bared his teeth, prepared to defend his kill. “Back off,” Arya told Gendry. “Slow, so you don’t spook him.” They edged their mounts away, until the wolf and his feast were no longer in sight.” Arya, ASoS

And while the wolves never display any type of hostility or aggression toward Arya and her friends, they cause all kinds of hell in The Riverlands. Most significantly, they seem to focus their aggression on people and places associated with the enemies of The North/House Stark: Lannister loyalists, Freys, Boltons, Red Wedding Participants and anti Tully forces.

“The wolves have grown terrible of late. There are places where a man alone would do well to find a tree to sleep in. In all my years the biggest pack I ever saw had fewer than a dozen wolves in it, but the great pack that prowls along the Trident now numbers in the hundreds. (…) I have been spared that, Seven save me, but I have heard them in the night, and more than once. So many voices … a sound to curdle a man’s blood. It even set Dog to shivering, and Dog has killed a dozen wolves.” He ruffled the dog’s head. “Some will tell you that they are demons. They say the pack is led by a monstrous she-wolf, a stalking shadow grim and grey and huge. They will tell you that she has been known to bring aurochs down all by herself, that no trap nor snare can hold her, that she fears neither steel nor fire, slays any wolf that tries to mount her, and devours no other flesh but man.” Brienne, AFfC

“After the toast Lady Amerei stopped weeping and the table talk turned to wolves, of the four-footed kind. Ser Danwell Frey claimed there were more of them about than even his grandfather could remember. “They’ve lost all fear of men. Packs of them attacked our baggage train on our way down from the Twins. Our archers had to feather a dozen before the others fled.” Ser Addam Marbrand confessed that their own column had faced similar troubles on their way up from King’s Landing.” Jaime, AFfC

The next day Ser Dermot of the Rainwood returned to the castle, empty-handed. When asked what he’d found, he answered, “Wolves. Hundreds of the bloody beggars.” He’d lost two sentries to them. The wolves had come out of the dark to savage them. “Armed men in mail and boiled leather, and yet the beasts had no fear of them. Before he died, Jate said the pack was led by a she-wolf of monstrous size. A direwolf, to hear him tell it. The wolves got in amongst our horse lines too. The bloody bastards killed my favorite bay.”… “A ring of fires round your camp might keep them off,” said Jaime, though he wondered. Could Ser Dermot’s direwolf be the same beast that had mauled Joffrey near the crossroads?” Jaime, AFfC

“I will hunt today,” Roose Bolton announced as Qyburn helped him into a quilted jerkin.“Is it safe, my lord?” Qyburn asked. “Only three days past, Septon Utt’s men were attacked by wolves. They came right into his camp, not five yards from the fire, and killed two horses.”“It is wolves I mean to hunt. I can scarcely sleep at night for the howling.” Bolton buckled on his belt, adjusting the hang of sword and dagger. “It’s said that direwolves once roamed the north in great packs of a hundred or more, and feared neither man nor mammoth, but that was long ago and in another land. It is queer to see the common wolves of the south so bold.”ACOK, Arya

“It’s been a bad year for wolves,” volunteered a sallow man in a travelstained green cloak. “Around the Gods Eye, the packs have grown bolder’n anyone can remember. Sheep, cows, dogs, makes no matter, they kill as they like, and they got no fear of men. It’s worth your life to go into those woods by night.”“Ah, that’s more tales, and no more true than the other.”“I heard the same thing from my cousin, and she’s not the sort to lie,” an old woman said. “She says there’s this great pack, hundreds of them, mankillers. The one that leads them is a she-wolf, a bitch from the seventh hell.” Arya, ACoK

“Men on horses, with flapping black and yellow and pink wings and long shiny claws in hand. Some of her younger brothers bared their teeth to defend the food they’d found, but she snapped at them until they scattered.” Arya, ASoS

arya wanting to be the leader of a pack is never addressed

Well obviously it’s never outright addressed, that would be far too easy. It’s true that Arya is not necessarily ambitious in that she thinks about being an alpha or a pack leader. But GRRM himself has said, “[I]f there’s one truth, I think, it’s that people who really desire power are the people who shouldn’t have it.” (x) He said this in reference to Jon potentially having power, and that he would be a good character to have in power because he didn’t really want it. I think this is true for Arya as well. The fact that Arya has never had any kind of overwhelming desire to be a leader is one of the reasons she would make sure a great one. 

GRRM has also specifically stated that Nymeria’s pack is not a Chekov’s Gun: “But you don’t hang a giant wolf pack on the wall unless you intend to use it.“ (x). So who is going to use it other than Arya? As I discussed above, Arya’s bond to Nymeria and her pack of giant, terrifying, man flesh chomping wolves is unique. No one but Arya has that particular bond.

Furthermore, while its true that Arya has never explicitly or directly expressed any desire to lead a pack, the “strength of the pack” is an extremely prevalent and prominent theme in here arc. Which leads into the next point…

arya’s pack would consist of people she knows and loves, not hundreds of random men.

I agree with the statement that Arya will want to be with the people she loves. However, I think you are failing to take into account Arya’s incredibly huge heart, and capacity to love and care about others, and to feel protective of and loyal to them. Arya fixates on this idea of “pack” and “my pack” and “finding a pack,” almost to the point of obsession, through out the series.

And Arya uses the term “pack” in a pretty liberal and inclusive manner. If you’re a friend or a family member or a loved one, or someone Arya cares about, or has known for a long time, or feels protective of, or even if you’re just a Northerner, you’re part of Arya’s pack.

“She would make much better time on her own, Arya knew, but she could not leave them. They were her pack, her friends, the only living friends that remained to her, and if not for her they would still be safe at Harrenhal, Gendry sweating at his forge and Hot Pie in the kitchens. If the Mummers catch us, I’ll tell them that I’m Ned Stark’s daughter and sister to the King in the North. I’ll command them to take me to my brother, and to do no harm to Hot Pie and Gendry.” Arya, ASoS

Wolves. Arya went cold. Robb’s men, and my father’s. She felt drawn toward the cages. (…)She looked at their filthy hair and scraggly beards and reddened eyes, at their dry, cracked, bleeding lips. Wolves, she thought again. Like me. Was this her pack? How could they be Robb’s men? She wanted to hit them. She wanted to hurt them. She wanted to cry. They all seemed to be looking at her, the living and the dead alike. The old man had squeezed three fingers out between the bars. “Water,” he said, “water.”Arya, ASoS

“There is no place here for Arya of House Stark, she was thinking. Arya’s place was Winterfell, only Winterfell was gone. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. She had no pack, though. They had killed her pack, Ser Ilyn and Ser Meryn and the queen, and when she tried to make a new one all of them ran off, Hot Pie and Gendry and Yoren and Lommy Greenhands, even Harwin, who had been her father’s man. She shoved through the doors, out into the night.” Arya, AFFC

And Arya’s pack means everything to her, she will do anything to protect them. Arya’s most impulsive and/or courageous moments and kind, heroic acts are born out of protectiveness and loyalty to her pack. We see it for the first time when she defends Mycah while armed with nothing but a stick against Joffrey who is armed with a sword:

“He’s my friend,” Arya said sharply. “You leave him alone.”“A butcher’s boy who wants to be a knight, is it?” Joffrey swung down from his mount, sword in hand. “Pick up your sword, butcher’s boy,” he said, his eyes bright with amusement. “Let us see how good you are.”Mycah stood there, frozen with fear.Joffrey walked toward him. “Go on, pick it up. Or do you only fight little girls?”“She ast me to, m'lord,” Mycah said. “She ast me to.”Sansa had only to glance at Arya and see the flush on her sister’s face to know the boy was telling the truth, but Joffrey was in no mood to listen. The wine had made him wild. “Are you going to pick up your sword?”Mycah shook his head. “It’s only a stick, m'lord. It’s not no sword, it’s only a stick.”“And you’re only a butcher’s boy, and no knight.” Joffrey lifted Lion’s Tooth and laid its point on Mycah’s cheek below the eye, as the butcher’s boy stood trembling. “That was my lady’s sister you were hitting, do you know that?” A bright bud of blood blossomed where his sword pressed into Mycah’s flesh, and a slow red line trickled down the boy’s cheek.“Stop it!” Arya screamed. She grabbed up her fallen stick.Sansa was afraid. “Arya, you stay out of this.”“I won’t hurt him … much,” Prince Joffrey told Arya, never taking his eyes off the butcher’s boy.Arya went for him.Sansa slid off her mare, but she was too slow. Arya swung with both hands. There was a loud crack as the wood split against the back of the prince’s head, and then everything happened at once before Sansa’s horrified eyes. Joffrey staggered and whirled around, roaring curses. Mycah ran for the trees as fast as his legs would take him. Arya swung at the prince again, but this time Joffrey caught the blow on Lion’s Tooth and sent her broken stick flying from her hands. The back of his head was all bloody and his eyes were on fire. Sansa was shrieking, “No, no, stop it, stop it, both of you, you’re spoiling it,” but no one was listening. Arya scooped up a rock and hurled it at Joffrey’s head. She hit his horse instead, and the blood bay reared and went galloping off after Mycah. “Stop it, don’t, stop it!” Sansa screamed. Joffrey slashed at Arya with his sword, screaming obscenities, terrible words, filthy words. Arya darted back, frightened now, but Joffrey followed, hounding her toward the woods, backing her up against a tree. …“Arya whirled and heaved the sword into the air, putting her whole body into the throw. The blue steel flashed in the sun as the sword spun out over the river. It hit the water and vanished with a splash. Joffrey moaned. Arya ran off to her horse, Nymeria loping at her heels.” Sansa, AGoT

Another example was when Gendry was captured by Clegane and his men, she was willing to risk everything, including her own freedom and life to save him:

“The only thing that mattered was that they had Gendry. Even if he was stubborn and stupid, she had to get him out. She wondered if they knew the queen wanted him.…She thought that the dark might let her crawl close and free Gendry, but the guards kindled torches off the cookfire. A squire brought meat and bread to the two guarding the storehouse, and later two more men joined them and they all passed a skin of wine from hand to hand. When it was empty the others left, but the two guards remained, leaning on their spears.…Where’s the Bull?” asked Lommy.“They caught him,” Arya whispered. “We have to get him out. Hot Pie, you got to help. We’ll sneak up and kill the guards, and then I’ll open the door.”Hot Pie and Lommy exchanged a look. “How many?”“I couldn’t count,” Arya admitted. “Twenty at least, but only two on the door.”Hot Pie looked as if he were going to cry. “We can’t fight twenty.”“You only need to fight one. I’ll do the other and we’ll get Gendry out and run.”“We should yield,” Lommy said. “Just go in and yield.”Arya shook her head stubbornly.“Then just leave him, Arry,” Lommy pleaded. “They don’t know about the rest of us. If we hide, they’ll go away, you know they will. It’s not our fault Gendry’s captured.”“You’re stupid, Lommy,” Arya said angrily. “You’ll die if we don’t get Gendry out. Who’s going to carry you?”“You and Hot Pie.”“All the time, with no one else to help? We’ll never do it. Gendry was the strong one. Anyhow, I don’t care what you say, I’m going back for him.” She looked at Hot Pie. “Are you coming?”Hot Pie glanced at Lommy, at Arya, at Lommy again. “I’ll come,” he said reluctantly.” Arya, ACOK

Even when you look at Arya’s infamous “list,” it isn’t just people who have done her harm. It is almost exclusively focused on people who have hurt or wronged her pack mates. Arya doesn’t hate for herself, she hates on behalf of her pack, she is angry on behalf of her pack, she seeks justice on behalf of her pack. Just some examples:

Sandor Clegane, for killing Mycah.

Ilyn Payne, Cersei and Joffrey for killing her father

Cersei and Joffrey for killing Lady, Sansa’s direwolf.

Ser Amory Lorche, for killing Yoren.

Dunsen, for taking Gendry’s prized bull helmet.

Raff/The Sweetling, for killing Lommy

This strong, pack based mentality comes from something here father told her, that she has never forgotten and still carries with her:

Let me tell you something about wolves, child. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another, keep each other warm, share our strengths. So if you must hate, Arya, hate those who would truly do us harm.” Ned Stark, AGoT

Nymeria has something that Arya desires with all her heart and soul. She has a loyal pack of brothers and sisters; a family who who are “fierce and terrible and hers.” Arya’s “pack” is her people. She is loyal to them, she loves them, and she protects them. And there is no limit on Arya’s ability to love.

after everything she has been through all arya will want is to be peaceful with people she loves not be in the middle of a war.

I addressed the “being with the people she loves” statement above. As for the “all arya will want is to be peaceful with people she loves not be in the middle of a war” part, I am not entirely sure what you mean by it, but I am going to go with how I am interpreting it…

GRRM did not have Arya decide against getting rid of Needle for nothing. He didn’t have her be taught by Syrio for nothing. He didn’t have her join the faceless men for nothing. Just like Nymeria’s wolf pack isn’t a Chekov’s gun, I don’t think any of these things are either.

Arya is not spending all this time honing her strategy and fighting skills to never use them. Just like Bran isn’t honing his warning and greenseer skills to never use them; and Sansa isn’t honing her political and diplomatic skills to never use them; and Jon isn’t honing his Lord Commander skills to never use them. They are all learning these things for a reason. And I don’t think the reason is for them to go sit on their arses in Winterfell, as much as I would love for that to be the case. I love Arya, she is probably one of my favorite characters not just in this series, but ever written tbh. Of course I don’t want for her to have to go through any more of the pain, or fear, or violence, or heartache that is war; I hate how much trauma she has been put through already. But in ASoIaF, war is a reality; the whole story is about the war for the continued existence of mankind. Arya is not a passive character; on the contrary, she is a pretty damn active one. She cannot and will not sit idly by why there are threats to her home or the people she cares for and the pack she loves.

I’m not saying that Arya is going to spend the rest of her days at war, I don’t think that at all. I’m also not really even saying Arya has be be a soldier or a fighter? It doesn’t have to be that literal, rarely anything in ASoIaF ever is. Nymeria of Rhoynar wasn’t a soldier, but she was still a leader. She still commanded armies and led her people and was a conqueror. I think it’s a common misconception about her, but Nymeria was a war leader but not a warrior, a commander rather than a combatant. But that has done nothing to diminish her importance or her legend, her reputation still proceeds her.

Arya specifically chose Nymeria of Rhoynar for her wolf’s namesake. Nymeria is the only direwolf who is named after a historical figure, or even a human being… I do think Arya, Nymeria, and her wolf pack are going to be instrumental not only in taking back Winterfell and her people’s home, but also possibly in the Battle for the Dawn. Nymeria of Rhoynar wasn’t able to save her home from destruction, but I hope that Arya Stark will. I hope she can be a Northern leader and legend, a strategist and counselor, a conqueror and hero, who can help bring her people the salvation they need.  

And you don’t have to agree with all of this, or any of it for that matter. But it feels like there is so much there… Too much there to really ignore. 

[dismissyourdoubt]

03/18/2017

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac, Self Control by Frank Ocean ft. Yung Lean and Austin Feinstein, UGH! by The 1975, Love Money Party by Miley Cyrus ft. Big Sean, Someone Like You by Adele, In My Eyes by Best Coast.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Honestly I can’t deny my love for Anderson Cooper like hi daddy

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “...time. I cover her up, then go to bed and dream.”

4) What do you think about most? Honestly, boys and work.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? It says: “wait the hoodie was more than that it was a different one i was looking at but still got it for $18 bc only 36”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I sleep with underwear on, but that’s it.

7) What’s your strangest talent? Fucking things up and pushing people away, overthinking everything.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Literally as if @ this question

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Um yeah guys actually all of Frank Ocean’s love songs are about me because we’re in love soooooo

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? As if I know

11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a pretty bad fear of ovens? Like I’m afraid that I’ll basically either fall in or be pushed in and then burn myself and die.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No but there’s a hilarious story about my dad sticking a pencil eraser up his nose in Catholic school and what happened when it got stuck up there...

13) What’s your religion? I don’t really follow any religion, I like certain aspects of Buddhism but I don’t know enough about it to actually consider myself a Buddhist. Sooo yeah I don’t know.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to/from the bus stop for work, because in the winter that’s really the only reason I leave the house, lmao.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it, usually... Although I film fake vlogs all the time because I think it’s so fun...

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Okay so like the way this question is phrased, I’m only considering bands, not solo artists. So... hmm... Daughter

17) What was the last lie you told? I told my dad I can’t go to a family dinner tomorrow because I have a test, he doesn’t know my driver’s license is suspended because of a speeding ticket and I don’t have it back yet...

18) Do you believe in karma? I mean, I like the idea of it. I don’t know if I necessarily believe that it actually happens.

19) What does your screen name mean? Song lyrics, from Broken by S. Carey.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is honestly my depression and the fact that I’m awful at taking care of myself; my greatest strengths are my work ethic and my intelligence.

21) Who is your celebrity crush? I mean if I had to pick just one I’d probably have to say Tom Daley... or Hunter Parrish?

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I actually don’t think I have.

23) How do you vent your anger? By texting a friend or something like that. I normally don’t get “angry” though, more just annoyed or upset.

24) Do you have a collection of anything? I have a collection of antique keys, tapestries, glass pieces and other stoner shit.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I mean honestly neither like just text me honey, it’s much easier for me that way

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? This is a good question. I look at who I was a little over a year ago, and I’ve definitely changed as a person, and the change has definitely been for the better. So, in that regard, I’m happy with the person I’ve become. At the same time, I do feel that I have such a long way to go. I want to start going back to the gym and make a lot of other changes in my life. But I’m definitely on an upward journey.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Okay I’ll just say I love the sound of Kehlani’s voice because I’m listening to her right now... And I hate the sound of babies crying.

28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I can never have a successful relationship and I end up alone?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I mean, honestly, I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be that surprised if either of them existed. So I’ll just go with yes for both.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. With my right arm, I touched the back of the couch I’m sitting on. With my left arm, I touched the wall right next to me. So exciting.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? Oregano ;)

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Is college an answer to this question?

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Definitely West Coast, even though I live in Pennsylvania, I’m dying to move to California...

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? This is a hard question because there are so many queens I’ve been idolizing lately... Tinashe, Kehlani, Jhené Aiko, Beyoncé, Zara Larsson, Ariana Grande, like damn they’re all hot as hell, you know?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? As if this question isn’t gonna send me into an existential crisis.

36) Define: Art. Okay literally.

37) Do you believe in luck? I mean, yeah, I definitely think that at some points in your life you are “luckier” than you are at other points in your life. But, I think it’s entirely coincidental how much “luck” you have at any given point in time.

38) What’s the weather like right now? It’s not as cold as it’s been the past few weeks. I think it’s around 40, and it’s kind of windy/rainy, but not snowing (it was last night), so that’s good.

39) What time is it? 7:22 PM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I drive. I’ve never been in an accident, although I did have a near-death experience driving on the parkway a few months back. It was raining and my tires started spinning out of control; I almost crashed off the side of the road and then my car swerved across both lanes of traffic and almost crashed into the middle barrier... Then somehow I regained control of the vehicle. Crazy shit. Not fun.

41) What was the last book you read? I literally don’t know. Maybe Perks of Being a Wallflower?

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? In a way, yes.

43) Do you have any nicknames? Nothing really other than Kev which is just short for Kevin.

44) What was the last movie you saw? Get Out. It was fucking wild. Especially because I went into it without having seen any trailers or anything like that... But I highly recommend.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Ummm, I’ve never broken a bone or anything like that, so I’m honestly not sure lmfao

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? I haven’t and now I’m kind of sad that I haven’t. Like thanks for calling my attention to that.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kehlani, I’m definitely obsessed with her right now, like without a doubt. Her and Tinashe but what else is new.

48) What’s your favorite music genre? R&B

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Of course.

50) Do you believe in magic? I mean, probably.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I try not to. I mean, when I cut someone out of my life, it’s (typically) pretty permanent. But I also understand that people change, so I’m not sitting around holding onto hatred for anyone.

52) What is your astrological sign? Capricorn

53) Do you save money or spend it? A combination of both. I make enough money that I can do that ;)

54) What’s the last thing you purchased? I spent like $400 on Amazon, oops. But that included nice chino pants, a ton of random drinks like Snapple and Diet Coke, a tiny golden statue of an elephant, you know, things I totally needed... I also bought a beginner’s dabbing kit which included a little wax container, a dabber, a carb cap, and a titanium nail, so yeah that’s cool.

55) Love or lust? This is a hard question. Like lust is so much better when it’s passionate and there are feelings (love) involved, and love can be so great but love also hurts like fuck. So I mean you know there are definitely pros and cons to both so I don’t know.

56) In a relationship? HAAAAAA AS IF

57) Are you a virgin? Nope.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope, definitely can’t do that.

59) Where were you yesterday? Work, then home, which is literally how I spend 99% of my days, so no surprise there.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? CYNTHIA IS PINK

61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nah son

62) What’s your favorite animal? The zebra. I just think they’re so beautiful and majestic and stuff.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I really don’t have one? I just act like myself and hope for the best?

64) Where is your best friend? She’s at a party with her boyfriend’s family.

66) What is your heritage? Like primarily Czechoslovakian on my dad’s side, I’m not too sure about my mom’s side, but you know I’m basically as white as they come.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. I’m an old man so I go to bed early now.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? This is the stupidest question ever and I’m also just noticing that question 69 is missing. And 65 was missing too. Probably others. Bish wut.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes, I’ll always listen if you need to talk about anything, I’m pretty chill and easy to get along with.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I would stop to save the dog, then explain the story to my boss. If the boss wasn’t understanding about that and honestly wanted me to leave a dog there to die, that’s probably not someone I’d want to work for anyways.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) Yes, I tell a select few. b) I travel, try different drugs, try to experience as much as possible in my last month. c) Obviously I would be afraid?

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love. Love, trust is impossible for me anyways.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Distraction by Kehlani, current obsession

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 8108

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? There are a lot of things that make up a great relationship, I’m certainly no relationship expert but I think some of the more important of those things are mutual trust, attraction, respect, and compatibility.

77) How can I win your heart? Consistent communication, paying attention to the little things, asking how I am, stuff like that.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Absolutely.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Dropping out of traditional college and switching to an online university.

80) What size shoes do you where? YOU MEAN WEAR? 10.5 or 11.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Ya know, my name, birthday, death date, maybe a cute little illustration, nothing too fancy, just the standard tombstone because I’m nothing too special.

82) What is your favorite word? I really don’t have an answer to this question...

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. I thought of the song Black Heart by Carly Rae Jepsen.

84) What is a saying you say a lot? AS IF

85) What’s the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Nights by Frank Ocean my king.

86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors? Growing up, green was always my favorite color, like olive green. But honestly now I’m more into the blues? And obviously black.

87) What is your current desktop picture? It’s like a scenic portrait of a mountain and a sunset.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Donald Trump. Am I going to get arrested for typing that?

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Honestly ask me anything, I’m not afraid to tell the truth, haha.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? I really wonder how stoned the person was who wrote this survey...

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Ability to read minds! Or invisibility. Yeah I’d actually probably like invisibility the best.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I just erase the entirety of 2015?

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? FRANK OCEAN

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Somewhere in California or Hawaii. Or maybe I should leave the country and go somewhere nice in Europe like Amsterdam.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? No I don’t.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? I never have.

98) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, like three or four times.