#and then i found out he was anorexic too????

[fatkish]

hello!!!

I was wondering if you could do a dadzawa x student! Reader who starves themselves and says they’re not hungry because they don’t really feel hungry at all if you get what I mean(s3 ep42)

So basically they js head off to bed once they get to the camp instead of eating and stuff and he’s concerned for their well being and yeahh. Sorry I’m not a really good explainer but I’d really appreciate it if you do this request it would mean a lot to me considering I am a person who sometimes unintentionally starves themselves

Anyways I hope you have a good rest of your day/night, and thank you once again!!

I totally get this. Due to my middle school experience, I went from having breakfast at around 7:00-7:30 am with lunch at around 11:00 am to breakfast at 6:30 am an lunch at 1:00 pm. This was horrible for me because I would sit in class with my stomach growling before lunch. It made me develop horrible eating habits, so I get it. Anyways, onto the story.

Aizawa x Student Reader (Platonic): Eating Habits

You and your class had just walked out of the forest after having spent hours making your way to the campsite, dodging and fighting Pixie-Bob’s earth monsters

Despite all this, you still weren’t hungry, you didn’t plan on eating and were planning to just take a bath and go to sleep

When Aizawa told you guys to grab your bags off the bus and put them away before heading to dinner, you grabbed your bag with everyone else and headed inside

You went into your shared room and set your bag down in your spot. You began to unpack, rolling out your bedding, getting it all made up

As everyone left to go eat, you decided to clean up and take a shower to get rid of the dirt from the day

Aizawa has always been observant, so he definitely had noticed how you rarely went to lunch to eat, you’d either nap, play games, or do your own thing in the classroom

There had been times he’d seen you eating your homemade lunch in the classroom away from others, so he assumed that you had an issue with eating around other people

When he didn’t see you eating among his other students, he assumed you were too shy to get food or perhaps too tired

So he went to find you and make sure you got food in you

When he found you and told you where the cafeteria was and to go eat, he was surprised and concerned to hear that you didn’t plan on eating and planned instead to take a bath and go to bed

Aizawa wasn’t so keen on this plan of yours

He asked you why, to which you replied that you weren’t hungry. He told you that that’s not good enough of a reason

He then gave you a lecture about how the body needs food especially with the training you’re going to be doing

He thinks that there may be more to this and hopes that the reader doesn’t have some kind of eating disorder

He decides to go get the reader a small plate of food and bring it to them

Once he does, he tells them that he wants to see them eat what’s on the plate and then he’ll let them sleep after that

Aizawa isn’t one to budge from this so you eat the food. Upon seeing you slightly struggle he decides to sit down and try to talk to you

As you talk to him, he asks if there’s a reason why you have a hard time eating

You tell him you’re just not hungry

He asks if you’re bulimic or anorexic or have some kind of underlying issue that has caused this

Seeing where his thoughts were going you quickly and throughly reassured him that you just have a hard time eating when you aren’t hungry

Throughout the camp, Aizawa makes sure to keep an eye on you and lets you take a break to eat whenever you do get hungry

He may be strict, but his number one priority is to make sure his students are taken care of

[k2padfoot]

Perfect

Eddie Munson x Y/n

summary: when your mind is plagued by bad thoughts Eddie wants nothing more than to comfort and reassure you just how perfect you really are. best friends to lovers.

warnings: TW. body shaming, mentions of anorexia, smoking, self loathing, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff. SMUT!! (unprotected sex).

A/N: this fic is based on my own experience of skinny shaming. i don’t think a lot of people realize how hurtful it really is to be shamed in any way about your body. please be understanding and kind, all bodies are beautiful! also this is my first time writing smut so i hope y’all like it!!

“She’s so skinny it’s gross.”

“Look at her chicken legs.”

“Does she even eat anything?”

“She looks anorexic.”

“Isn’t she eighteen? She literally looks twelve.”

When your ears caught echo of the painful words from the girls behind you, you abandoned your lunch tray, it’s contents untouched on the table. A rush of emotion had you swiftly leaving the cafeteria, seeking solace beyond its walls.

It's not as if the whispers were unfamiliar to you. They’ve been a haunting refrain since childhood, but with the passing of time their intensity swelled, casting a darker shadow over you.

You harbored a self-loathing, a visual disdain to your own reflection, fueled by the relentless comparison to every other girl in school. Your legs seemed too slender, arms too skinny, lacking in curves, and a chest that barley made its presence known.

You found yourself walking into the woods and taking a seat at the aging picnic table nestled in the clearing. As you settled onto its weathered surface you allowed your head to fall into your hands while the tears began to flow.

The cascade of tears persisted, blurring your perception of the world around you, but the subtle sound of someone settling into the seat across from you reached your ears.

Aware that it was none other than your best friend, Eddie Munson, you didn’t have the courage to lift your gaze and meet his eyes.

You felt his comforting touch on your wrist as he delicately withdrew your trembling hands from your face, his voice laced with genuine concern, “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

Your gaze barley rose to meet his, and the tears that welled in your eyes tugged at the strings of Eddie’s heart.

A fractured sigh escaped your lips, “You know just the perfect little cheerleaders spitting insults at me like usual.” You remarked with a scoff, a touch of bitterness in your voice.

A wave of distress swept over Eddie, unsettled by your words. “I’m sorry sweetheart. They’re just a bunch of preppy assholes, I know how shitty it feels to be the focal point of their laughs but you don’t deserve that. How can I help?”

In the quiet recess of your mind you considered a little temporary solution. “Hmm, you got a joint on you by any chance?”

A sly grin splayed on his lips, “Of course I do.” He quickly reached into his backpack pulling one out and sparking the end, “Don’t go anywhere without one.” Your eyes were glued to his lips as he took the joint into his mouth and slowly exhaled the smoke.

You finally broke the unyielding hold of your gaze when Eddie passed you the joint, taking it in between your lips and drawing in the smoke, Eddie couldn’t help but stare at the way it left your lips.

After the joint was passed back and forth until it was no longer burning you began to gather your things.

“You going home?” Eddie asked as he started to get up from the table.

“Yeah, don’t really feel up to going back to class.” You said, following his actions standing up and swinging your bag over your shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll join you.”

A rough sigh left your lips, “No Eddie, you have to go back to class if you want to graduate this year. I’ll be fine, seriously don’t worry about it.”

Eddie was hesitant to leave, in all honesty he just wants to take you home and tell you how beautiful you are, but he knows he can’t. “If you’re sure.” He said.

“I am Eddie, I’ll see you later tonight okay? Now get back to class.” You teased and he nodded before turning around, reluctance lingering in his every step away from you.

Eddie Munson found himself entangled in an enchantment with you, a feeling reciprocated by your own infatuation of him. However, the unspoken truth hung in the air, an uncharted territory where vulnerability loomed, both fearing to confess thinking the other might not feel the same.

Eddie hurried out of Hellfire in anticipation to get to your house. It was a movie night just like every Friday night, and in the wake of todays events, Eddie felt an undeniable urge to make this night special for you. To get your mind off of the harsh realities of the day. So he stopped at the general store grabbing all of your favorite snacks and picked up one of your favorite horror films from family video, A Nightmare on Elm Street.

When Eddie pulled into your driveway he was confused to see no lights on, he knew your parents were out of town but not even your bedroom light was on. Eddie jumped out of the van and hurried to the door, he knew you were home because your car was in the driveway so with his hands full of snacks he knocked a few times.

After the fourth unanswered knock, he hesitated briefly before cautiously turning the doorknob, and to his surprise it was unlocked.

Venturing into the dimly lit living area, he called out your name, the echoes of his voice fading into an unsettling silence. He continued on through the house making his way upstairs to your bedroom. As he reached your bedroom, Eddie’s worry intensified at the absence of your presence.

In that moment a delicate murmur of hushed sniffles reached his ears coming from the direction of your bathroom.

As he got closer he could hear the sobs racking through your body resonating through the closed door like a haunted melody.

Slowly as to not startle you he eased the door open revealing a sight that sent a shiver through him. There you were, a fragile silhouette against the wall, your form cradled by the floor. Knees drawn close, hands entwined in strands of your hair, and your face pressed against the haven of your legs. 

“Y-Y/n?” Eddie's voice, a gentle whisper, faltered as he knelt before you. "Sweetheart, I'm here.” He uttered, his warm hands finding solace on the curve of your knees.

At the sudden awareness of his presence, your head snapped upward, revealing your puffy red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Your words struggled to escape, “Shit, I-I forgot you were coming over, I’m sorry.” A wave of guilt and embarrassment draped over you as you let your head fall back to your knees and your fingers grip into your hair.

“Princess, please stop pulling at that beautiful hair of yours.” Eddie’s gentle touch eased your hands from your head. “Can you look at me?” He whispered, delicately lifting your chin, his eyes searching the depths of your own.

“Talk to me sweetheart, tell me what’s bothering you.” His soft voice accompanied the feather-light dance of his thumb along the curve of your cheek.

A pause hung in the air as more tears fell from your eyes. “I-I hate my body. I hate the way I’m so fucking skinny compared to all the beautiful girls at school. I wish that I didn’t look like this, it’s disgusting!”

A heavy ache settled in his chest as he looked at you with sad eyes. “Don’t say that, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen Y/n.” His words softly spilled.

“W-What?”

He smiled gently, fingers softly sweeping to push aside a stray hair from your face, his touch lingering there for a moment. “Yeah, to me your perfect.”

Once more, you lowered your head, “Eddie—

“Stop, just listen to me for a second.” Again, he tenderly lifted your chin coaxing your eyes to meet his. “The first time I saw you, you took my breath away. Everything about you is so captivating, every facet of your being mesmerized me. From your striking eyes, to your infectious smile, the tiny little freckles like constellations on your skin. To the curves of your hips, and the shape of your thighs like a dance of contours, God you are just so beautiful Y/n.”

In that instant, your eyes welled up with tears stirred by his unexpected honesty. Caught in the shock of the moment, you instinctively surged forward bridging the gap as your lips met his in a tender, unexpected embrace.

Initially catching Eddie off guard, the awareness finally dawned on him that your lips had found his, instantly melting into the kiss. His hands ascended, gently cradling your face, while you fervently grasped at his soft locks. You both felt a whirlwind of sensations as neither of you had the intention to stop, yet the necessity for a breath of air became an undeniable plea.

As you reluctantly pulled away, a glistening thread of your mixed saliva separated your entwined lips. In that lingering moment you exchanged an intense gaze full of unspoken emotions.

“W-Wow, I’ve been waiting forever to do that.” He admitted, a warm smile splayed across his lips that was woven with threads of love.

You couldn’t help the flutter of butterflies in your stomach, and the undeniable love swelling within your chest. “Me too.”

“Good, I’ve always liked you I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship incase you didn’t feel the same way about me.” He told you.

You let out a light hearted giggle, “Well that’s ridiculous isn’t it, because I’ve had feelings for you for years now.”

A curious frown etched across his brow, “So you’re saying you could’ve been mine all along?”

“Yes, because I’ve always been yours Eddie. I think we’ve wasted some serious time tiptoeing around our feelings for each other.” You let out a playful laugh.

“Well we don’t have to waste time anymore, do we?” Eddie said, his lips turning into a cunning grin.

You had to squeeze your thighs together when your eyes caught the bulge forming in his jeans. “Well, I-I guess you’re right.”

He roughly planted his lips on yours in a needy manner, swiftly pulling you to your feet and tugging you flush against his chest. His hands were exploring all over your body as he gently guided you towards your bedroom.

He softly tossed you onto the bed before reconnecting your lips in a desperate manner. “So beautiful.” Eddie muttered between kisses before his lips trailed to your neck and then to your ear. When he placed a gentle bite to your ear a hushed moan escaped your lips.

After placing a few more marks on your neck he drew himself back, his hands reaching for the hem of your t-shirt.

“W-wait!” you hastily rose your voice.

Eddie’s eyes went wide with fear, “I-I’m sorry, did I do something wrong? Is this too much?”

“No! No, it’s just— I don’t want you to be disappointed.” A sad frown cast upon your face as you looked down to your hands.

“Disappointed? Baby I could never be disappointed by you. Please, let me show you how truly beautiful I think you are.” Eddie pleaded with you, his hands gliding softly up your arms until they reached your cheeks, gently cradling your face to meet his gaze.

You hesitated for a moment but you trust Eddie, and his earlier words echoed in the chambers of your mind reassuring your decision to trust him. “O-Okay, you can take it off.”

Gently Eddie pulled off your shirt and you instinctively wrapped your arms around your chest as to conceal yourself.

“Hey, don’t do that sweetheart, I want to see all of your beauty.” His gentle words resonated as he reached for your arms, slowly encouraging them away from the protective fortress of your chest.

“See, you’re gorgeous baby. Is it okay if I take this off?” He gestured to your lacy pink bra and you tentatively nodded.

The clasp of your bra broke free and Eddie took this chance to take the rest of it off, “Fuck.” He let out a hushed breath as he took in the sight of your bare chest. “So fucking perfect.” He muttered through sloppy kisses down your neck until he reached your breast. Without warning he took your nipple into his mouth and began swirling his tongue around it, earning a loud moan from you.

“Mmm, you sound so pretty baby.” Eddie groaned against your tits.

Through muffled moans you pushed Eddie off of your chest, “Eds, c-can you take your shirt off? I wanna see you too.” You practically begged.

Eddie grinned at your anticipation before throwing his shirt over his head and onto the floor. Your fingers ran across his exposed skin stopping to trace the tattoos adorning his chest. “You’re so pretty Eds.”

Immediately he closed the gap between you engulfing your lips into his with a hungry intent. Swiftly his hand slid into your shorts and found your clothed heat, he didn’t waste a minute before rubbing soft circles on your clit causing you to moan even more. “Eddie, please.” you plead against his lips.

“Shh princess, I wanna show you how pretty you are.” Before you could grasp any thoughts they were quickly swept away when he yanked down your shorts along with your panties earning a sultry gasp from your lips.

“Shit. You’re fucking unreal.” Eddie kneeled in front of you staring at you like a piece of art. He bent down planting tender kisses across the landscape of your stomach, continuing with equal devotion down to the curve of your hips. Delicate kisses lingered in the warmth between each thigh, “So, so beautiful.” He whispered with an unwavering devotion

You could feel your heat dripping in anticipation. In any other situation you would’ve halted any advance to get your shirt off, let alone your pants, but this was Eddie. Eddie, who was currently worshiping you as if you were a divine being.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good princess.” He uttered just before engulfing his face into your pussy. “Ahh, fuck Eddie!” you cried out between breathless moans, his tongue lapping at your clit like a starved animal.

“That feel good baby?” Eddie struggled to say with his mouth on your cunt.

“Fuck yes baby, keep going!” you shouted out in bliss.

A wave of confidence swept through him at the passionate sounds he was eliciting from you, compelling him to slip a finger into your entrance while he worked at your clit with his tongue.

Intense waves of pleasure began to consume your body as his fingers plunged in and out of your hole, finding yourself having no control you gripped onto Eddie’s hair, “I-I’m gonna, fuck I’m—

“Let go sweetheart, I’ve got you.” His words were enough to have your orgasm rushing through you as loud moans and Eddie’s name repeated like a mantra from your lips.

He quickly lapped up your juices, gazing at you with blown eyes before gently caressing his hands up and down the length of your legs. “Jesus, I love these gorgeous legs.” He uttered softly before trailing his hands up to your hips, delicately tracing them with the grace of his fingertips. “And these sexy hips.”

Before you knew it his hands were gliding up your stomach, ascending to your chest, only to stop with a gentle touch to your face. “Beautiful girl.” He whispered, allowing his thumb to tenderly stroke your cheek.

His sweet words stirred a spring of tears in your eyes, an irresistible surge of emotion that had you crashing your lips into his. Your lips worked in sync, tongues dancing in a fervent rhythm, creating a mess of wet kisses and the occasional collision of teeth.

“Eddie?” You pulled away from the kiss, “I want to feel you.”

Eddie could feel his cock angry against his jeans and he wanted nothing more than to give it to you and only you. He quickly jumped up, pulling his pants down along with his boxers before he reclaimed his position, settling once again atop you. In a breathy whisper, he spoke softly, his lips grazing yours, “You don’t have to tell me twice sweetheart.”

He took his cock in his hands and swiped it through your glistening folds a few times before slapping it against your clit. “Oohh, Eddie please.” You begged.

A content smile traced its way across his lips as he hovered above your entrance, leaning down to kiss you before sinking into your pussy. An audible gasp could be heard from your lips as his cock filled you up, “Fuck you’re so tight.” Eddie practically moaned into your mouth.

He was taking it slow, indulging in the warmth of your walls, but you reached a point where you couldn’t take it any longer. “Eddie fuck me, fuck me faster!” You practically yelled after parting your lips from his, and your legs wrapped around his back, a deliberate gesture to have him deeper inside of you.

Eddie reached his limit, unable to resit your desperate pleas for him, unable to resit the way your walls sucked him in. “Yeah? You want more?” He said, words laced with desire. You watched as he began to relentlessly thrust into you, the way his cock slid in out of your wet hole so easily had your head spinning, and his hands trailing all over your body earned more sinful moans from your mouth.

“Mmm, that’s it. You’re so fucking gorgeous Y/n.” He uttered before seizing your hips with a firm grip to draw you closer as he settled onto his knees, a new angle that had your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

With each rough thrust he skillfully targeted that sensitive spot you craved the most, you were seconds away from unraveling, that familiar euphoric wave rendering your brain with bliss and leaving you breathless. Your walls began clenching around him and he knew you were coming undone, “Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock.”

As your orgasm washed over you, you were a moaning mess unable to stop yourself from the cries and disarray of words leaving your lips. “Ahhh! Fuck, oh fuck Eddie I love you!”

Eddie’s thrust we’re starting to get sloppy as his own orgasm was approaching, “Say that again.” He muttered, grabbing your chin with a gentle but firm touch ensuring you were looking at him.

“I love you Eddie.” You repeated for him, and Eddie’s hips rutted into yours roughly.

“Ohhh fuck Y/n, I love you so much!” He practically cried out, his lips latching onto yours as his cock twitched inside of you, his warm release spilling into your pussy.

Through breathless pants and sloppy kisses, Eddie laid you back down on the bed and slowly eased out of you. “Let me go get something to clean you up.” He told you before darting to your the bathroom.

When he came back, a fresh towel in hand, he couldn’t help but smile at the way you looked so fucked out against the pillows.

“I’m just gonna clean you up quick.” He said and in response you mindlessly nodded as he gently wiped away your mixtures of cum.

After tossing the towel into the hamper, he leaned down to grab his discarded clothes when you protested. “No don’t, lay with me?”

The warm smile upon his lips illuminated the room as he gracefully joined you in bed. You gently raised your head, resting it upon his chest, as he nestled below you. His arms instinctively wrapping around you, legs entwined, a profound sense of comfort and familiarity enveloped you both, as if this was the missing piece, the way you were always meant to be.

Eddie’s fingers gently threaded through you hair, almost sending you into a soothing slumber when his voice gently interrupted your sleepy state.

“Can I ask you something?”

You blinked your tired eyes glancing upward at him,“Hmm? Yeah sure.”

Eddie’s voice carried a delicate hesitation, “Did you really mean that? You know when you said—

“When I said I love you? Yeah, I meant it.” You interrupted before he could finish.

Emotion quietly unfolded in the depths of his gaze, a softness reflecting in his eyes at your words. “Good, because I did too.”

A broad smile crept across your cheeks as you leaned in sealing the connection with a kiss, a kiss filled with not only passion but the language of love.

As Eddie gently withdrew, his gaze lingered in a tender lock with your eyes, “One more question, can I be your boyfriend?”

A fluttering storm of butterflies danced within the confines of your stomach as a delightful giggle escaped you, “Yes. Yes, yes, 1000x yes!” The sheer excitement had you throwing yourself into his arms as he embraced you with an even firmer grip.

You knew with Eddie by your side, the shadows of doubt would never cast themselves upon you again.

[thelaughtercafe]

Abandoned

Tea Type: Milk Tea

Potential Triggers: Struggling with eating in an anorexic manner as well as intentional sleep deprivation and self care in general.

Pairing: Daryl/F! Reader (Can be read platonic)

Length: 2.4k+

Summary: Daryl leaves, and by the time he comes home you've completely stopped taking care of yourself, much to his upset. He comforts and helps you get back on the right track.

A/N: Me? Writing more self-indulgent comfort about struggling with eating, sleep and self care? It’s more likely than you think! Also maybe I’ve binged nearly 3 whole seasons of The Walking Dead and fell in love with Daryl again. That probably didn’t help. This is just pure fluff and hurt/comfort!

When Rick and the others returned, your eyes scanned them all instinctively for injuries and when you didn’t see him, you swallowed hard.

“…Where is he?”

Your voice cracked as you looked to Carol and she gave you a watery smile of her own.

“He left. Found Merle and made his choice.”

Her voice was gentle and understanding but all you felt was abandoned and cold and angry. A rare emotion for you to feel at your family. When she went to move forward and put a hand on your shoulder you cringed and hugged yourself instead.

Your heart-broken gaze moved to Rick.

“No. You-you just let him leave?! How could you?”

“We didn’t have a choice. He was gonna bring Merle back-”

“So you just abandoned him?! Let him leave? After everything we’ve been through? Everything he’s done for us?!”

Tears streamed freely down both cheeks and you moved to storm out of the metal gates when Glenn stopped you with a hand on your upper arm.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

You roughly pulled away and leveled a glare his way.

“Get off me! You all might be fine with abandoning him to die with his brother, just the two of them out there, but I’m not. I’d rather take my chances with someone I know will be loyal.”

You whirled to look at the whole group, angrily wiping away your tears.

“Y'know what? Merle was a dick. He was rude, and crass and didn’t care about anyone but his brother. He could be monstrous and I’m not negating that. But don’t forget that Daryl was different too in the beginning, before we gave him the chance to change. And even if Merle didn’t- even if he was still a jerk who put himself before others- I trust Daryl enough to adapt and be loyal to us both. To try and help his brother change. I thought you all would too.”

When you moved to the gate you frowned as Carol blocked the way glare weakening to upset.

“…Please, move Carol. I have to do this.”

“Do what? Get yourself killed? Starve to death as you search for them like needles in a haystack? I may have lost him but I am not losing you too. And he’d never want you to go out there and put yourself at risk. He’d never forgive any of us if we let you leave. Deep down, I think you know that.”

You stared one another down before giving a bitter, watery laugh.

“Guess we’ll never know what he would think now, would we? Whatever. I’ll be in my cell if anyone needs me.”

—–

The following days were beyond painful. You found yourself constantly looking for him on instinct, used to his grounding presence just a ways in front or back of you, the way he’d mumble quips under his breath that made you smile, blush or laugh. You missed your late night talks. Remember as you’d warmed up to him. Told him “Ohana means family. Family means no-one gets left behind.” You recalled the way he’d smirked a little and nudged you with a mumbled. “What are you, 5?” You’d gone on to defend Lilo and Stitch and nudged him back with a playful smile. It had been cold that night and he’d wrapped his arms around you, made you feel safe.

And now, you’d never felt more vulnerable and isolated. You understood what he felt like at the start. Everyone looked at you like you were a wild animal, something to be pitied that could lash out at any time.

Luckily Beth and Glenn had finally given up, but Carol was persistent. You walked around the prison on patrol, her right at your back.

“Please, eat something at least, if you won’t sleep. It’s been days. Daryl wouldn’t want you to-”

“Would you stop saying that? I already told you. I’ll eat and sleep when he’s back, not a second sooner.”

“You’re acting like a child!”

Your eyes flared as you turned to her, though your expression remained cool.

“Well maybe I finally got tired being the mature one all the time. I’m still doing my part, helping everyone else. Just stop caring. Clearly it’s easy enough for everyone else to.”

Aaron joined you both as you were turning to leave when suddenly gunfire rang out, making you drop and pull Carol down with you instinctively. Aaron fell suddenly and you gasped as you saw he’d been shot in the head. Carol’s face grew steely as she positioned the body in front of you both, holding you to her tightly. Thankfully your tiny frame was easily covered.

“You stay still and you don’t move alright?”

Carol’s voice was shaky as you heard shouts ring out all around you. Are you being attacked? You hated that even now you still shook from adrenaline and fear. You heard Maggie cry out as she provided cover fire.

“Carol, take her and go!!”

You both jumped up and rushed over to where you could see Beth and Carl, grabbing guns.

A car could be heard speeding and you took the time to catch your breath as you watched in anxious horror as walkers came out of the back, hordes of them. Your mind raced, trying to figure out where everyone else was. You could all be together and deal with the threat.

You did not want to lose anyone else.

In the distance you saw Glenn and Michonne helping what looked like Hershel thank God and when they pulled up you hugged them all, quickly thinking of who else was left. Rick. Where the Hell was Rick?

You asked Hershel as much and he reassured you.

“Calm down. I saw him, he’s gonna be alright.”

He looked towards the others.

“…He’s not alone. Daryl and his brother are back. Look.”

He raised his chin behind you and you sighed in immeasurable relief at the sight. Thank God. Your core family was still together.

You all gathered and some slept while others spoke quietly in the night. You couldn’t even look at Daryl. Not yet. You didn’t want to break; not when the situation was so precarious.

Once morning came discussions began in earnest on what to do. Some wanted to leave, others wanting to stay. Rick went to leave again and Hershel finally snapped, understandably so.

When Rick returned he began allocating and you sighed as Glenn spoke up, mind racing as you tried to think of the best course of action.

“There’s barely any food or ammo.”

Daryl mumbled back.

“Been there before. We’ll be alright.”

“That was when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest.”

You frowned.

“Man we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle’s staying here. He’s with us now. Get used to it. All y'all.”

He stormed off as Rick tried to stop him, heading to the second floor.

You watched the group debate.

You understood both perspectives, you really did. But with a final glance around at the others, you knew where you stood, deciding to voice it when Glenn asked a dangerous question.

“Deliver Merle to the governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce.”

You moved to glare up at him, knowing he was hurting and trying to temper your instinct; protectiveness and annoyance.

“No-one’s saying you have to like the guy or forgive him, Glenn. But think about Daryl. For once. He’s done so much for us without asking for anything in return. The least we can do is offer his family a place here.”

You scoffed as you moved to go to your cell.

“At the very least, he certainly deserves better than you talking about killing his brother in cold blood behind his back."

"Like he wouldn’t throw you to the Walkers to get away the first chance he got.”

You paused at Glenn’s hiss, before looking behind your shoulder at him, ignoring the dizziness that was making you lightheaded.

“You’re probably right. But I also know Daryl would put his life on the line to protect me from that same Walker. That’s the difference. I know why you feel the way you do, and I am truly sorry for what you and Maggie both went through. But Daryl? He’s worth more to me than revenge you think will make you feel better. And deep down I think you feel that way too.”

You walked away before he could say anything more and headed up to see Daryl. You were safe for now, and you couldn’t wait any longer.

He was waiting on his bed, fiddling with his arrows. You took a shaky breath to try and steel yourself but when you opened your mouth his eyes abruptly cut to you.

“When was the last time you ate or slept?”

You winced and looked away, mouth closing as you’d gone quiet. You swallowed nervously.

“…haven’t since you left.”

“‘Scuse me?!”

You looked back at him when his voice rose and saw the anger in his eyes.

“The Hell you mean you ain’t ate or slept since I left? It’s been 4 days now.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it now okay so just-”

You turned to leave, cheeks burning in humiliation at your secret being out but looked back as rough calloused fingers curled around your arm.

“Like Hell it don’t matter! Look at me!”

You met his eyes and your tears finally fell as you did so. The aggressive tone was a bit triggering, but you and him both knew you wouldn’t have broken down like you needed to otherwise.

“I’m sorry okay!? I didn’t want you to know, I thought-I just…”

You used your free hand to cover your mouth as you sobbed.

“I didn’t want to live in a world you weren’t here with me! They wouldn’t let me go find you so I just- I just shut down. It was good anyway, Carl’s a growing kid and I’d rather my portion be used to help the others than go to waste. It was a good thing!”

Your voice cracked and you looked away to try and gather yourself when Daryl gently guided your face back to look him in the eye.

“You sacrificin’ yourself while spiraling ain't a good thing. I promise I won’t leave like that again. An’ if I ever did, I’d come back for ya. But that means ya gotta take care of yourself. Not worry the others. Beth told me, soon as I got in. Told me you was bein’ a damn fool and to get some sustenance and sleep in ya.”

You gave a watery laugh at that and moved to hug him, hiding your face in his neck and taking comfort in the warmth and solidness of him.

“Should’ve known she’d tell you. Between her and Carol it was getting pretty difficult. Pretty sure Carol was just gonna start force-feeding me soon.”

His husky chuckle made you melt further into him but he sighed and pulled back, raising his chin toward the 1rst floor.

“She must’ve got her stubborn streak from watchin’ you. Now, get some food first before you doze off, you can eat it here with me and then you’re going the Hell to bed. Y'know I’ll wake you soon as anything happens.”

You blushed at the embarrassing question you wanted to ask but he beat you to it, fingers running through your hair in the familiar way he did when you’d have a nightmare or insomnia before he left.

“Obviously I’ll be right by your side. You ain’t the only one who was strugglin’. Kept looking over my shoulder to make sure you were alright. I want you in my sight. 'Specially knowing what stupid shit you’ll do if separated from me again.”

You smiled at the fondness in his tone and pulled away to go get food. The dizziness was getting worse so you grabbed an apple and called it good as you trucked up the stairs again to his room.

He frowned a bit at the small portion but sighed in defeat after a moment from where he was back on the bottom bunk.

“Apple for now is fine, it’s probably best you get your stomach used to food again anyhow.”

You forced the apple down despite your lack of hunger since Daryl was back. That was what you’d promised Carol. You didn’t want anyone to worry about you anymore. You’d been selfish enough. Clearly you weren’t as slick as you thought if both Beth and Carol had caught on.

When you finished it down to the core he moved over to make a small space for you to cuddle into, eyes still locked on his arrow. You couldn’t stifle your smile and moved to make yourself comfortable. Wall at your back and Daryl at your right it felt like you could breathe again and you couldn’t help your yawn at the familiar position.

“Here. I doubt you’ll need if since you’re so tired but it never hurts.”

His voice was gruff but you saw the intimacy of the action as he tossed his familiar leather jacket over you, knowing you slept infinitely better with a blanket.

“You can use me as a pillow too, if ya need. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

You relaxed completely and let yourself feel safe and contented as you snuggled into his shoulder and neck. The warmth emanating from him was already making you drift off and the dizziness was fading.

“Thanks for not leaving me. Sorry for being stupid and selfish and… like a child.”

He chuckled at that and moved one of his arms to circle you and pull you closer, ruffling your hair before continuing to play with it.

“S'fine. Everyone’s warranted a temper tantrum now and then. Just don’ make a habit of it or I’ll have to smack ya upside the head good.”

“Yeah, right. A big…softie like you?”

You stifled another yawn.

“Doubt it.”

He smiled and you blissfully passed into unconsciousness. He looked up as Carol leaned against the doorway, a wry smile on her face.

“Haven’t had a chance to say. I’m glad you came back.”

He scoffed a little.

“To what? All this?”

Carol came to sit down, voice quiet but clear.

“This is our home.”

He met her eyes meaningfully.

“This is a tomb.”

“That’s what T-Dog called it. Thought he was right…till you found me.”

Her voice was somber but gentle.

“He’s your brother, but he’s not good for you. Don’t let him bring you down. After all, look how far you’ve come.”

Her eyes moved to you sleeping soundly against him in meaning and he looked away a moment before looking back as they shared a chuckle.

[gaysindistress]

Heretics and Flesh Devotees

Based on the poem Anorexic by Eavan Boland

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/pinterest and collaged on canva

pairings: azriel x fem!reader

Summary: Flesh is heretic. My body is a witch. I am burning it. And I am burning the man who condemned me to such a fate.

Warnings: mentions of abuse (not detailed), mentions of misogyny (not detailed)

Word count: 2.2k

Gaysindistress masterlist | azriel masterlist

My body has never been mine. It’s been owned, sold, bought, and branded by others time and time again. My body has never been mine to command and control as the authority in my life has. It’s disgusting to think that in the years since my birth, my body, my soul, and my will has been placed into the hands of others.

As a babe it was my parents although they did try to be gentle and kind. Their faults were found in the ones they left to care for me. The awful creatures hated me for a name I did not choose and wished their hearts’ cruelest desires onto me. As one would assume those desires became my reality as I grew older and started to fight back against them. Their words hurt but they bounced off where they once slashed. Their look stung where they once left burn gashes. Their foul intentions felt like flicks on my nose where they once felt like I’d been beaten to a pulp.

My body still wasn’t my own even though when I prayed for it to be returned to me. Boys who felt entitled to looks and touches tried to lay their claim to me. Men who felt like they deserved praise for caring for me tried to demand me in payment for their actions. Too jaded against it all, I turned to a creature that would prove to be far worse than any boy or man I could’ve been gifted to.

The creature I thought I would safety in begged for my eternal devotion and demanded that I give over whatever I could. He made me into a prisoner and my body into a witch that worshipped him.

Every molecule that made up my body, mind, and heart screamed when I began to fight against its urges. The enormity of my own craving made me sick when I wailed at the scorching of my secret ministrations.

At night, I poisoned my mind when it thought of him. I bruised my limbs when they carried me towards him. I broke what I had to when I tried to search for him. I destroyed myself over and over again until the thought of him made my stomach turn and my skin crawl.

The sick version of me tried to bend me and sent fever throughout me. In my delirium, her half truths felt like the sweetest angelic hymns. Whispering into my ear, she tried to coax me into slipping back into my old solutions.

I renounced her honeyed voice and vomited out her milky words. I renounced her hungered tongue and spat out her name along with his. I fused the flames that came when I thought of him with the spite I conjured and burned the bitch alive from the inside out.

Morphed into a starved and twisted soul, I laughed when he began to resent me. It took him months to realize that something had changed within me. I was no longer painted with soft edges and stunning features but carved into a curveless piece of skin and bone that mocked him. At dinners and events thrown in his favor, I sipped at my rotten wine while the women among me gossiped the state of my marriage. They did not utter a single word for how I seemed to be fairing but how the once holy union between him and I seemed to be slipping.

I sipped at the foul liquid until it stained my lips a violent shade of calculated vengeance. I pretended to swallow entire bottles and postured drunkenness so they would think I couldn’t hear the things they confessed to.

My husband’s heavy stare always found me as I slumped further and further into my chair, allowing him to believe that my pain to consumed me. The hungry leery he masked with an adoring gaze had faded into disappointment and disgust, so much so that eventually he stopped looking altogether. No longer did he pull me into his lap, his Herculean arms caging me in falsified comfort and demand to know what was bothering his beautiful wife.

Instead he found younger and more attractive women to watch and eventually fill his time with. Instead a young woman, borderline girl, with flowing locks of auburn hair and gentle curves became his new hobby.

Thin as a rib, my knife slept under my pillow. The feverish bitch within me cried and cried as she watched me plot his demise. It pained the other within me that withered and gasped for air to think I could even contemplate such a scenario.

Could I truly commit murder?

Could I truly force my husband to shuffle off this mortal coil?

The dueling fates were soon quilled when I turned in sleep to find claustrophobia looming over me. His warm body threatened to suffocate me while the haunting sound of his inner thoughts filled the breadth between us. Once I had been pulled into slumbers embrace by his heart beat’s gentle drum and quiet song of his breath but now it closed in on me and pressed.

I could not muster the strength to find my rib like knife nor move it from its hiding place. I promised myself only a few more days of this torture. Only a few more nights of slipping back into his bed before I set myself free.

I hadn’t intended on waiting for another few weeks but an uninvited guest coiled my plan into nothingness.

Azriel the Shadowsinger.

He arrived just as his name implied; as silently as the night and slithered his way in without resistance. He was a man born with charmed words that dripped from his silver tipped tongue and slid between pearly white teeth. A man known for his third eye, the Truth-Teller, that when he showed up on our doorstep, my husband begged him to stay for fear of his wrath. Like a shadow, he was present in every crevice of the house and was not seen. My husband’s ego got his way, tripping him up as he stumbled to accommodate Azriel, the embodiment of shadows with violent hazel eyes.

The woman my husband found to be my replacement took her role before I was revealed. Instead I was whisked away into a room hidden deep within the compound. She played the dutiful host and doted on her guests. She donned the gowns once crafted for me and wore the jewelry I previously did. She laughed at the jokes the men made and smiled sweetly at the husband she desired but would never love. She became the wife and I hated to see another take my place for I knew what awaited her.

I wanted to spare her. I tried to spare her but my efforts were in vain. She cried out when I told her to leave. She screamed when she saw my knife meant my husband. She fell into it when I tried to pull away from her ivory grasp.

As I said, I hadn’t intended on becoming into the personification of destruction but it was inevitable when I was given no other choice.

Blood drips from me and hits the floor beneath me with a deafening loudness as my husband stares at me.

A single question hangs in the air; “What have you done?”

“What have I done?” I calmly ask, arching a brow at the man who stands and dares to judge me. “The better question is what did you make me do.”

It’s a disgusting sight to behold; him pretending that I’m nothing more than a body of mangled bones and broken convictions molded by him. Dark as night and deafening as the ever present silence that fills when you’re dying, his gaze tries to weigh me down and fails.

Azriel smiles when he senses my anger and he becomes a conduit of my emotions as the twin sinister glint to mine flickers in his dark eyes. He reclines against the rotting wood walls like a feline would; regal and untouchable but lethal all the same.

My husband throws a glance to the blood that is pooling around me with disappointment before speaking, “Your actions are your own. Take responsibility for the carnage that you have created for once in your pathetic life. This is all your fault, y/n.”

My eyes narrow at his choice of words.

Take responsibility? My fault?

Fitting that he would choose to say that I need to take the blame for the actions I committed because of him. He had been the one to deem me an object to be bought and sold. He had been the one to make me in his image and create a wife he felt was worthy of him. He had been the one to turn my body into a heretic and I had no other choice but to burn her at the stake.

“Husband,” I start as I take a step forward while he takes one back, “What I have done is only because you forced my hand. Every drop of blood, scream ripped from raw throats, tears shed have been because of you.”

Azriel’s terrifying chuckle rings through the room, causing the remaining members of my husband’s house to drop their heads and hide their fear. The blood of their new lady of the house fills the room with a coppery stench and some have taken to covering their faces with their collars. As Azriel around the room, his chest swells with pride at the terror that he’s caused in them but it stills when he lands on me.

A creature who’s grown angular and unholy in the confines of her husband’s cage.

He smiles as he lets his dagger like eyes to slash across my frame.

“Enough of whatever petty martial bullshit this is about,” he dismisses with boredom thick in his voice. “You took something from me and I want it back.”

My husband attempts to fix the situation but the guest cuts him off.

“I said enough,” he seethes, gritting out the words between clenched teeth. The action tightens and sharpens his already pronounced jaw, giving him the appearance akin to a statue.

Within seconds my coward of a husband is lying on the ground, crying and begging for his lord as the Lord of Bloodshed, Cassian, stands over him with his siphons glow a brilliant red.

“Please I don’t have it. I swear I don’t have it!” he begs while the bigger man growls before landing a swift kick to his stomach. “Take whatever you want, please. Anything and it’s yours.”

Cassian looks to Azriel and awaits his judgment. Azriel has not looked away from me this entire night. He’s still locked in on me as he nods. Cassian bends down and grips my husband by the neck, hauling him up so high his feet dangle helplessly below him.

“That’s a dangerous deal you’ve just made.”

My husband begs and begs for his own life but not for mine or even the wife he replaced me with as she lays on the floor in a pool of blood.

“If only I believed you,” Azriel sighs, “but I don’t and I’m not in the mood to hear any more of your lies.”

“Y/n..” my husband turns his pleading to me but I interrupt him with a roar of anger.

“Enough,” I hiss at him, rage boiling in my veins, “You used and manipulated me for years. I was nothing but a toy to brought out when you grew bored. You’ve shoved me off to the side and pushed me to my breaking point but now that the consequences are coming for you, you turn to me and expect me to help.”

Azriel has taken to prowling towards me now that my calm facade has dropped. He stalks me like an apex predator would their prey.

“Did you hear that, princess?” He poses the question to me and only me. “He’s offering you up like a prized goat when he could just give me what he took. That’s not very nice now is it? Seems a bit selfish doesn’t it?”

I attempt to sneak a glance at my husband but he catches my chin in a tight grip, “Don’t look at them, look at me.”

And I do. I’m met with a torrid stare that calls to that divinely angular and starving creature within me.

“You can have her! Take her, please! Please just don’t kill me,” my husband cries out as if I’ll be his saving grace. The sounds are muffled as the utter chaos that lives within Azriel’s heart soothes me into the fall.

I fall into the forked tongued embrace of this devilish man.

I fall into the need of a python that wraps itself around us both.

I fall into the heaving breaths that lunge my chest up and down as I stare at his lips.

I fall into the visions of heat, sweat, gluttony, and lust that awaits us.

Azriel visibly cringes before me at my husband’s words but waits for me.

“Well princess?”

“I want my freedom,” I demand and he flashes me a disastrously beautiful smile.

“Of course,” he promises me. “Of course, princess.”

[doumadono]

Hey hey so I hope it's okay if I send in an Emergency Request.

Recently I've been on a new antipsychotic and it's causing weight gain, so they put me on a diet medication and I'm STILL gaining weight.

As someone with a past of having anorex!a this is MAJORLY triggering as now I'm in the "Overwe!ght" BMI range and I'm freaking the fuck out and wanting to d!e every single day.

So can I get a comfort with Shinsou who reaffirms the reader( who also struggles with gender dysphoria at the same time, so this is doubly hard ) that he will love them no matter what gender they are and how much they weigh and that they can work on losing weight in a healthy way and he will help them recovery from their ED habits together?

Shinso & s/o with gender dysphoria and anxiety about gaining weight

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Shinsou notices your struggle and decides to have a heart-to-heart conversation with you. "You've been going through a lot lately, haven't you? Wanna talk?"

You open up about your experiences with gender dysphoria, the weight of the words lifting as you share this intimate part of yourself. "I've been grappling with my gender identity, and it's been a real struggle. I trust you, Shinso..."

The words pour out as you recount the toxic environment at home, the pressure to conform to harmful beauty standards, and the history of your family promoting your eating disorder. "My family, they've always pushed me toward this destructive path. It's been a battle to break free from their influence."

He starts by expressing genuine concern, acknowledging the difficulties you're facing with both medication and family issues.

There's a moment of vulnerability as you worry about how Shinsou will react. "I'm afraid you'll see me differently, that this will be too much for you..."

Shinsou reassures you that he cares deeply for you, emphasizing that your worth isn't determined by your weight or gender. "I want you to know that I adore every part of you, regardless of what your family or society says. Your gender identity is valid, and your journey is uniquely yours, remember that, sweetpie."

Shinsou encourages you to focus on your health rather than conforming to societal standards, stressing that your well-being matters most.

He suggests finding positive outlets for stress relief and encourages you to explore activities that bring joy and fulfillment. "How about we make some tasty, nutritious snacks together? It's a small step, but a positive one, don't you think?"

Shinsou reminds you that your identity and body are yours to define, and he supports you in every decision you make.

He shares stories of his own struggles, highlighting that everyone faces challenges, and growth is possible through perseverance.

Shinsou proposes working together on setting achievable, healthy goals, whether related to weight or personal development.

He assures you that he's there for you every step of the way, offering support and understanding. "You're strong, you know? Facing everything head-on."

He uses his quirk to gently ease some of the emotional burden you're carrying, showing how he cares about your mental well-being.

Shinsou encourages open communication, emphasizing that your feelings and experiences are valid, and he's here to listen without judgment. "It's always better to talk to your trusted person, isn't it, sweetpie?"

The air hung heavy with a subdued tension as you found solace in the quiet corner of your shared living space with Shinso. The weight of unspoken burdens rested on your shoulders, and as the tears welled up in your eyes, you couldn't hold back the overwhelming tide of emotion any longer.

Shinso noticed the tremble in your voice and the shimmer of unshed tears. He approached you with a gentle concern etched across his face. "Hey, what's going on? You seem… distant."

A shaky breath escaped your lips as you attempted to articulate the complex emotions swirling within. "It's just… my family. They've never understood, and now with everything else… It feels like I'm drowning in their expectations. I'm also struggling with my gender... I feel like I'm drowning, Shinso..."

Shinso sat beside you, a silent gesture that spoke volumes. "You can talk to me. I'm here for you. Breathe. In and out, in and out. Calm down and pour it all out. It'll ease your stress. And no matter what, I'll stay by your side, always. You're perfect just the way you are. I love everything about you."

With a heavy exhale, you began to unravel the painful narrative of a family that had never truly been supportive. "They always had these expectations, these ideals of what they thought I should be. It's suffocating. They pushed me into this dark spiral of self-doubt, made me believe I was never enough. And thank you for your kind words, baby..."

The tears flowed freely now, a cathartic release of pent-up emotions.

Shinso, understanding the weight of your words, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "You are more than enough, and I'm here to help you break free from those chains. You don't have to carry their expectations anymore."

In the warmth of Shinso's reassurance, you continued to share the heart-wrenching details of a family that promoted destructive behaviors, exacerbating your struggles. "They encouraged my unhealthy habits, made me believe that I had to conform to their standards. It's been a never-ending battle."

Shinso's gaze never wavered, a silent pillar of support. "You're not alone anymore. We'll face this together, and I promise you, their expectations won't define your worth."

As you poured out your heart to Shinso, the weight on your shoulders began to lift, replaced by the gentle embrace of understanding and empathy coming from your beloved boyfriend.

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Body Heat" : a Snowpiercer-Marvel Mashup Story

Part 1 - "The Man"

Rated: Mature (non-explicit chapter, marked mature for dark themes)

Pairing: Curtis Everett x ofc

Tags: dystopia, food insecurity, post apocalypse, age difference (18/34), dark!fic, implied/referenced suicide, background character death (offscreen), poverty, arranged marriage, implied/referenced past cannibalism, hurt/comfort

Summary: She’s too young for him to be eyeing her up the way he has been, but this is the Tail section, and Curtis has caught other men looking more than once. Everything is a commodity in the Tail. Everything. It won't be too long before he has to step in and claim her.

Author's Note:

On Tumblr, forbidden ToS content categories are: "terrorism, hate speech, harm to minors, self harm, sexually explicit material, violence, threats, gore, and mutilation."

And while you ARE apparently allowed to write a fictional story about incestual, torturing, anorexic racists who rape, murder, kidnap, hate, cannibalize, terrorize, and self-injure in the plotline of said story,

you ARE NOT allowed to write an underage character who engages is any sort of sexualized conduct in a story.

For this one category and this one category alone, Tumblr staff (or at least one particular individual 😏on staff) makes no distinction between fictional stories and C.S.A.M. They can and will delete your blog without any notice.

So, in the face of this VERY SPECIFIC criteria for Tumblr's censorship choices, I have changed the age of a character in this story to 18. That's not how the story was originally written, and the story can still be read on Ao3, which does not arbitrarily censor their content. But my m/f stories seem to be most popular on Tumblr, so I wanted to include the altered version in my library here.

(To be spiteful, however, I have changed the ofc from 16 to 18 and Curtis from 28 to 34, thus WIDENING the original age gap from 12 yrs to 16 yrs😆)

🖤With that said, this is a dark story regardless, so if you're looking for fluff, I suggest you look elsewhere.🖤

Part 1 - "The Man"

The Man’s been dead for almost a day, the body already stiffened in rigor mortis and then relaxed again by the time anyone comes to take it.

They’d found him in his bunk just after breakfast yesterday, which means they’ve been keeping his wake for nearly twenty-four hours now, up at the front of the lead assembly car; his daughter and a few others who were closest to him sitting vigil with the body until the time comes. Mourning while they still can.

Jackboots visit the tail section only once per day—in the morning, with the food. That’s how Tailies tell time. So when one of their own dies, the funeral and the family’s goodbyes last only as long as the next arrival of the next pushcart with the next batch of gelatinous bars.

Bringing in food and taking out bodies—a callous reminder to Snowpiercer’s lowest inhabitants that their deaths are little different from their lives: cold, unadorned, hopeless.

Curtis keeps his distance once he’s paid his respects, and it’s quiet now as they all wait. A few people had given some nice speeches earlier, a decent eulogy capped off by the beautiful singing voice of the daughter that The Man has left behind: Rose.

Curtis watches her adjust the sheet over The Man’s body. He’s already been washed and stripped in preparation, wrapped in the old grey sheet that will be returned to them within a matter of hours. Nothing is wasted on Snowpiercer. The few pieces of clothing that The Man had owned now sit folded on the floor, ready to be given to their next occupants. The sight of his trademark checked shirt, unworn and available, is a point of mourning all in itself, Curtis finds.

New clothing always means death.

The Man had been a good person, a leader in his own right. Back when they’d first boarded, he’d been one of the first to volunteer his own flesh—though only once his wife had been killed and the mob was coming for his young daughter, too.

Curtis looks back up towards the front of the car when the heavy groans of unlatching metal come from the next section up. Rose’s face, covered in tears, also shoots up at the sound. Her eyes widen and her lip begins to quiver again. Her fingerless-gloved hand reaches for the body, clutching The Man’s shoulder one last time as the door slides open.

The jackboots bark for everyone to move back, since the funeral group isn’t sitting behind the usual yellow line of demarcation that’s taped to the floor, but then they look down and see the body. The lead guard sighs. “Oh, great,” he mutters. “Just what I wanted to do today.”

Curtis’ eyes narrow and his muscles tense, anticipating disrespect to the body—that he can handle, is used to, but if they lay a hand on her as the scene plays out, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to restrain himself. Rose is a sweet girl despite her circumstances, with an innocence and a naivety that usually only the train babies have, and Curtis has always done what he can to look out for her.

“Right,” the one guard says to the other. “Okay. Protein blocks first, then you can load ‘im on the cart.”

Rose stays sitting by the body as everyone lines up to receive their daily portions. Curtis makes eye contact as he steps up to the lead guard and takes his portion. “Be nice,” he says. “It’s her dad.”

Luckily, the jackboots don’t seem to be in any kind of foul mood today. They let Rose sniffle over the body for a few extra seconds before hefting the corpse onto the empty protein block cart. And then they’re gone. No muss, no fuss, no fanfare. Just like it always happens when a Tailie dies.

“What do you think they do with them?” Curtis overhears Ned and Peter saying, talking with each other as they nibble off their protein blocks not too far from Rose. “Throw ‘em out?”

“How?” Peter says doubtfully. “S’not exactly an escape hatch in this thing.”

“Course there is,” Ned argues. “Where d’you think your shit goes when you flush the—”

“Hey,” Curtis hisses, glaring at them and tipping his head discreetly in Rose’s direction. “Show a little respect.”

Ned and Peter mumble an apology and move off, and when Curtis looks back to Rose, she’s blinking up at him with red rimmed eyes. “You didn’t have to do that,” she says, her voice deeper than usual as it emanates from a throat scraped raw by grief.

“I did.” Curtis walks over and slides down the wall to sit next to her. “He was a good man, your dad.”

“Thanks,” she says quietly.

Her nose sounds all stuffed up, so Curtis fishes in his pocket for his handkerchief. “Haven’t spoken to you in a hot minute,” he says, handing it over for her to blow her nose.

“Yeah well I hear you’re always planning the next revolution, so …”

Curtis scoffs. “Yeah, maybe.” He looks her over, taking in the worn knit of her sweater, the colorless felt of her coat that’d once been blue and belonged to her mother. So many of the Tailies are worn down to nothing but dull, grey husks now, just like the clothes they’ve recycled for over a decade. But Rose is different.

For whatever reason, her skin is still clear, her hair still thick. The malnutrition hasn’t affected her the way it has most others. Her soul still comes through her eyes. That inner luminance makes her pretty, maybe even the prettiest girl in the tail section. Even though she’s still very young. Probably too young for Curtis to be eyeing her up the way he has been, these past few months.

But she’s about that age now, even though it feels like only yesterday he was scrounging up materials to make her a little doll she could play with. People grow up fast in the tail whether they want to or not, and Curtis has been on high alert for a while now because he’s caught other men looking more than once. He’s even heard some bits of hushed conversation, whispered from nearby bunks where the occupants didn’t realize he was there to listen. Everything is a commodity in the tail. Everything. And there’s no one else who looks like Rose. She’s only made it this far because of her father.

And now her father’s dead.

Curtis realizes he’s been staring a little too long when Rose’s eyes slide over to him in curiosity. He coughs and looks away, shaking his head when she tries to hand him back the handkerchief. “Naw. You hold onto it for me, Hon.” She tucks it shyly away in her coat, and Curtis is pleased. “So …” he hedges, not knowing what to say to her. There’s nothing he can say. All they have in the tail is each other, their people, and she’s just lost hers. “So … you still going by ‘Rosebud’?”

That gets a tiny smile from her, which warms Curtis’ chest in the same way that he can remember whiskey doing, a lifetime ago. “Nobody calls me that anymore,” she says. “Nobody but him. And you.”

“Yeah?” Curtis thinks on it some. “Well maybe you should retire it. It’s a girl’s name anyway.”

“Aren’t I a girl?”

He raises an eyebrow without looking at her. “You still have that doll I made for you?” He hears her scoff and knows the answer. Rosie helps look after the young children in the tail. Curtis has seen that shabby little doll floating around in various tiny hands for years now. “You’re a good person,” he says quietly. “Like your dad. He was good. I’ll miss him." He’s looking straight ahead across the assembly car when he says it, but he still catches her slight movement out of the corner of his eye.

“He didn’t act any different,” she says, voice tiny. “I didn’t know. He didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything that made it seem like he was going to …” She cuts herself off, swallows thickly and shakes her head. “I just didn’t know.”

Curtis holds out his hand in offer for her to hold, and she takes it. Even with the fingerless glove on, her hand still feels tiny in his. “How about Petal?” he suggests.

“Petal?”

“Yeah,” he decides. “Yeah that’s what I’ll call you. Petal. My rose petal.”

“Oh, god.” She groans. “No. Curtis.”

“No?” He turns his head to look at her, and this time he waits until she looks at him too. Her expression sobers as their eyes meet. Curtis reaches to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s a beautiful word,” he murmurs. “Couldn’t I call you that?” His eyes skip over her face, soaking up the way her breath stutters, how a slow blush starts to fill the apples of her cheeks. “I promise I won’t tell anybody else,” he whispers.

She ducks her chin with a bashful smile. “Well, I guess so.”

In her lap, her other arm curls protectively around the small pile of belongings she’s been holding onto, drawing Curtis’ attention. Her father had been a large man, imposing, and yet the pile is so tiny. A whole entire life, compressed into less than one square foot in the end.

(Curtis does wonder, sometimes, what they do with the bodies.)

“He was one of our best,” he tells her. “Even in the Desperation. I remember how he was, how he volunteered. He was a leader. Brave.” His eyes slide over to the excuse for an artificial limb that's been cobbled together from an umbrella and a few old wire coat hangers, of all things. Now it sits, sad and unused, on the floor next to Rose’s leg. “You know who you’re gonna give it to?”

“What?”

He nods at the limb. “His arm. It’s the best one in the tail.”

“Oh.” She glances away from it, looking pained. “No,” she says. “I figured I’d just give it to you.”

“Me?” Curtis isn’t one of the few who’d volunteered in the Desperation—obviously, as he’s still got all four limbs intact. He wasn’t the same person back then that he is now. Back then he’d been a taker, not a giver. He looks away with a frown. “Give it to Phil,” he suggests. “He needs one, since his broke.”

Rose agrees that the arm should go to Coulson. She carefully sets the pile of clothing aside on the floor and returns to place her hand back in Curtis’ waiting one, this time pulling their joined hands into her lap. They sit there together like that for a long while, not speaking, just existing side by side. Some things have so much more value now than they did Before, including silent company and a comforting hand.

“Do you remember it much?” Curtis eventually says.

“Before?”

“No.” He never talks about Before, since it only breeds despair. “Boarding,” he says. “Do you remember?”

“Of course.”

He winces. “Oh. I didn’t know if you did. You were so young. I thought maybe … maybe you’d forgotten. A lot of the kids did, even some of the older ones.”

“Yeah. MJ was eight and she says she can’t remember at all.”

Curtis nods. “Sometimes it feels like a dream even to me, it was so long ago.” He’d been twenty-two when the world froze and people were reduced to animals all around him. Twelve years couldn’t erase that pain, but it could muddle it a lot. “I’m sorry you didn’t. Block it out.”

“I remember ... shouting,” Rose says, her voice teasing the memory out. “It was dark. And I remember getting shoved around, hiding against my mom's legs, being hungry ... how cold it was.” It’s been cold ever since, but never as cold as that night—the last night before the wind and snow and ice got shut out forever. She heaves a sigh. “It’s all a jumble in my mind, anyway. I couldn’t see past anyone’s coat.”

“You were little,” Curtis mumbles. “Short.”

“Well I was six."

He smirks and bumps her shoulder with his. “You’re still short,” he teases, while privately he thinks that it’s better that she was so young when it happened. It means her earliest memories are of cold and chaos, and that’s better than the alternative of having had more time in the World. It means less things to mourn. “What are you going to do now?” he asks, shaking his head like he can knock the past out of it. "Plans for today?"

Rose shrugs. “Same old, same old. Kids, stories. It’s my night to shower.”

Curtis turns his head towards her, brow furrowed. “You … but you’re not going back to you guys' spot, right?”

"'Course. Where else would I go?"

He doesn’t know what he was expecting, what he thought the alternative was supposed to be. Every square centimeter of the tail section is already portioned and claimed. New space doesn’t just appear. Nothing new ever appears, except babies, bodies, and the rats that Wanda breeds to supplement their diet.

“Rosie,” Curtis scolds. “No. You can’t go back there. Not where he—”

“It’s not a big deal,” she says stubbornly, pretending it doesn’t bother her. But she’s a horrible liar and that’s just another thing that's always made her so endearing ... and so vulnerable.

“Hon,” Curtis mourns,

“It’s just a bunk," she insists. "He slept there, he died there. I’ll probably die there too, one day.”

Curtis growls unhappily. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that. Hey, things won’t always be like this.” He catches her throwing him side eye and he glares at her. “They won’t.”

“Right,” she says, mouth quirking sadly at one corner before her gloved hand gives his a final squeeze and then lets him go. “Well. Not everybody has the big plans that you do, Curtis. Sometimes it's better to know what the future holds, even if it's this.”

“Don’t lose hope, Petal,” he pleads, but he can see that she’s dismissive of it. People lose hope all the time in the Tail. That’s what’d killed her father.

He sighs and looks back to the opposite side of the car. Now that the jackboots are gone it’s thinned out some, with some people gone back to their bunks and others remaining behind to munch on their protein blocks in the fresher air of the assembly car. Curtis spots a man several yards away who’s been openly staring at Rose. When the man sees Curtis looking, however, he hurriedly turns away.

Curtis scowls. “Hey,” he says, intending to take Rose's hand again and offer to have her spend the night with him. But her hand isn't there when he reaches over. She’s getting up, gathering her dead father’s pile of folded clothing items in her arms. Curtis frowns and gets up with her. He hurries to pick up the artificial limb. “Wait. Where’re you going?”

“Gonna give these to Gilliam,” she says, already on the move. “I want him to have first dibs." As if her father’s clothing would even come close to fitting Gilliam's shrunken and weathered old frame.

But Curtis gets up anyway and follows after her, not wanting to let her go just yet. He hurries along as she walks surprisingly fast for having such short legs. “Hey,” he says, talking to her back as they navigate through the communal living cars and the showers, and then into the cramped passageways of the market. “Hey, you know … you could come over tonight, if you wanted. My spot’s a pretty good size.”

“So is ours—” she says, faltering when she realizes her mistake. “I mean, so is mine.”

Curtis sighs and grabs her shoulder, pulling her to a stop. “Don’t go back there,” he pleads, cornering her into a cramped spot to face him. “Hey. I mean it, Hon. Don’t. You shouldn’t go back there tonight. Not alone, not where he …” She squares her jaw and looks up at him, expression stubborn as ever, and Curtis is struck by the sudden, overwhelming urge to kiss her. “It’s too soon,” he insists, because she’d been the one to find The Man sitting up in the bed: straight backed and purple faced and all out of hope, a cord wrapped thrice around his neck. “Too soon,” Curtis repeats sadly.

“I’ll be okay,” she insists, nodding when he makes a face to show how much he doesn’t agree with that. “It’s fine, Curtis. Really. I appreciate the offer. And I get it, I do. But that's our spot, ya know? I’ve lived there for twelve years, and I—” her eyes cut away, glossy with the threat of fresh tears. She swallows thickly and won’t look at him again. “I’m not ready to leave it,” she whispers. “I’d rather stay where it still smells like him.”

Curtis isn’t sure what love feels like, but he thinks maybe it’s partly made up of the horrible feeling he gets in his guts when he sees Rose in pain like this. “... Okay,” he says quietly, taking a small step back so that she can continue on down the passage. The tail is made up of twenty cars, and they’re only several down from the forwardmost car at this point. “Gilliam’s probably at the back,” he tells her. He can see that she wants to be alone in her grief, though he hates the idea of letting her go. “Hey,” he says softly, cupping her face. “I’m right here if you need me, Hon. You know that, right?”

She smiles and nods with watery eyes, worsening the tug in Curtis’ guts. He thinks seriously about leaning in and kissing her, but winds up holding himself back like he’s done so many times already. Instead he just strokes his thumb over her cheek, finger ruddy against the clear skin of her face. “Okay,” he says again. He gently places the artificial limb on top of the stack of clothing she holds, then takes another step back. “I’ll see you at dinner?” he asks, not bothering to hide the hope in his voice. He wants to see her again, as much as possible. The more he can keep her in his sights, the better.

“Yeah,” she agrees, leaning up to plant a quick peck to his cheek. “Thanks, Curtis. For looking out for me. He'd feel better, knowing that."

He watches her go with a sense of trepidation, uttering a quiet, "Not doin' it for him," once she’s halfway down the car.

Masterlist

If you liked what you read and feel so inclined, please consider dropping a tip in the Kofi🍵 cup!

[stesierra]

I'm writing a new book about angels and demons and the humans who have to deal with them because I want to and nobody can stop me. Here's the first chapter, which is pretty short. I have written this just now on my phone so live with any typos. There's no WIP intro. I haven't added to my Writeblr intro. I do what I want.

Let me know if I should write the rest of the book.

The Giant's Gamble

Chapter 1

Kirjath slipped through the ajar side door, contorting like a reed in a hurricane to clear the splintered doorframe. The nightclub music throbbed ahead of him, so loud he felt the vibration in his breastbone. To angelic ears, it was about as melodic as a jackhammer accompanying an angry toddler. But that didn’t matter. He wasn’t here to enjoy himself. Did he ever enjoy himself, really?

In the gloomy light, lovely young humans sauntered out of his way, half of them making cow eyes at him. The other half, mostly young men, did their best to puff themselves up, like offended cats. But the tallest of them didn't reach his shoulder.

He brushed past them all with a weary smile and pushed deeper into the club. Not towards the bar, which lay under a web of pipes that crawled across the unfinished ceiling like tentacles of some cosmic horror. Not towards the dance floor, where people who had, from his perspective, been born yesterday gyrated and swayed. No, his destination was at the back, through a door marked employees only. Locked, of course. As if it mattered.

With a twist of the wrist, he broke the doorknob off. It took only a second to dismantle the whole lock apparatus and squish himself through the too-small space. Nobody noticed, not with the music thumping overtime.

A dank narrow hallway greeted him on the other side, lit only by a bare bulb hanging from a frayed wire. It stank of black mold and piss. But at least he didn't have to look at the humans anymore. Kirjath hated places where humans tried to substitute alcohol for actual courage. And the music hurt his ears.

Down at the end of the hall, he found a crumbling stairwell leading down. Old leaks had scarred the cement with rusty water stains, as ugly as tear-stained mascara. No one had inspected this part of the building for decades. No doubt Camriel had ensured it. Well, he wouldn't be able to, after tonight.

He found his brother in the depth of his lair, sitting on a couch that had half-collapsed under his giant frame. Camriel wasn't actually his brother, for neither of them had ever been born. But the relationship was an appropriate shorthand.

The other grigori was staring up at a ceiling he'd plastered with pinups of anorexic teen girls. He looked almost skeletal himself, with legs so long the hems of his pants fell mid-knee. He stank of wine and too much cologne, the kind that claimed to be full of irresistible pheromones. His eyes were closed, but Kirjath couldn't tell if he was visiting the Intangible or just drunk.

“Camriel,” he said and drew his sword from thin air, which is where he kept it. People looked at you funny if you wore as sword these days. Especially one long enough for a giant.

The other angel opened bloodshot eyes and stared up at him. “Kirjath? Have you come to kill me?”

He nodded. Obviously so.

Camriel sat up, and the couch collapsed the rest of the way with a whump. “Why this time?”

This was obvious, too, but Kirjath answered, because he knew Camriel loved to live in denial. “You've been siring children. Triplets, all so big they had to be cut from their mother's belly. All unnaturally beautiful and strong.”

Camriel scoffed and scrambled to his feet from the ruins of the couch. “C-sections are routine now. Doesn't even kill the mother. What does it matter?”

“Nephilim are never routine,” Kirjath said. “Even if the mother survives.”

“Oh, like the modern world can't use a few more men of renown? They can get basketball scholarships. Life will be a cinch. Really, they should thank me.”

“Who should? The children you abandoned?” His grip tightened on his sword.

Camriel tossed his long hair over his shoulder. If he'd ever tried to comb it, the comb was probably still lost somewhere in there. “Heaven should thank me, for improving the gene pool.”

Kirjath nodded and offered his brother his most disappointed look. And then he stepped forward and rammed his sword through his brother's stomach.

“Ow! Fuck!” Camriel said, curling around the steel that had split his intestines. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Kirjath kicked his feet out from under him and ripped the blade loose, spraying the mildewed carpet with gore. He stood over his dying brother and said, “We were exiled. Because you couldn't stop breeding. Because you couldn't leave the humans alone.”

“It wasn't just me,” Camriel said, his tone utterly offended.

“The grigori,” Kirjath snarled. “Because they wouldn't stop. Because none of you would. And now look what’s become of us. I'm not going to let you keep breaking the law. Not that one. The only one that matters.��

“What are you, heaven’s watchdog?” Camriel spat. “They threw you out too, Kirjath! They threw us all out! So what if I broke their laws? Who the fuck cares?”

“I care,” Kirjath said. He lifted his sword.

Blood ran down Camriel’s lips and pooled in the hollow of his throat. “You think you're better than me?” he gurgled. “Better than the rest of us? Because you never knocked up some girl? You're not. Because you--”

Kirjath swung. And his brother's head rolled away, lips silenced, as the irony stink of blood overwhelmed the little room where his brother had spent his sad little life.

He'd be back, but not right away. And by the time he made his way back to the Tangible, perhaps he would have learned his lesson.

He turned his back on the headless body, dismissing his sword back to nowhere from whence it had come. And came face to face with a young woman. She stood in the doorway with a delighted look on her face, and she wore the sigil of Lilith at her throat.

“You killed him,” she said. “How wonderful.”

Tag list for everything

@anonymousfoz

@moremysteriesthantragedies

@elizababie

@sm-writes-chaos

@bellascarousel

@macabremoons

@the-dragon-chronicler

@teacupsandstarlight

@vorskra

@wrenofthewords

@amostdelectablescribbler

@mysticstarlightduck

@phantommill

@gracewritesbooks

@aziz-reads

@owlsandwich

@symbioticsimplicity

@squarebracket-trick

@fishythewriter

@koala2all

@rmgrey-author

@atomatowriter

@cheerfulmelancholies

@delusionisaplace

Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

[transkittyinatoaster]

Snack for a parasite

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Idia, Rigel, and Perse(OC by @midnightmah07)

Content warnings: Arguing, mild swearing, and discussion of ED(eating disorders)

(until my lazy self downloads some dividers, we'll have to get used to the dorm lounges)

Rigel spun his pencil on the solid tables of the dorm as he swung his legs underneath. Ahead of him was Perse whom was eating a rather mediocre meal

But there was a silence everyone grew accustomed to, as if it was a part of them

“Do you ever wonder how if the multiverse theory is correct, there's a universe where it isn't?” Rigel suddenly asked, breaking the comfortable silence. Perse stopped as she slowly looked at the demon across from her, staring at her with those curious red eyes

“Rigel, do you ever think about what you're going to say?”

He shook his head which caused her to mumble “of course,” before she continued to eat

“Hey,” she began, “did you eat?”

“Eh? Oh, yeah, I ate.” He smiled

She stared at him. “Food. Rigel. Did you eat food? Real food?” She clarified

He went silent

She sighed as she got up to go make him something, “Wha- Hey, wait!-” He got up to follow, but she was already gone, so all he could next was to just sit down

He held his hands together as his feet drummed the floor as he waited apprehensively

She didn't have to do this and she knew that

And he felt bad for the fact she was doing it

He got by on his diet

And now here she is, making sure he ate what everyone else was eating It… felt weird

The food tasted weird

Wrong

He likes the taste of the cardboard from his torn up notebooks

He took one out and tore off a piece, sticking it into his mouth as he chewed on it as a small snack

The small crunches and tears filled the otherwise silent lounge as he ate and swallowed, taking the wood in as food, even if it was the furthest thing from it

He swung his legs as he waited for her return, he probably won't eat what she made

It was pointless anyway

She could be eating the food she made herself but was making it for him

Maybe that's why the food tastes weird

It's because she's making it specifically for him instead of herself or whoever

He got up and walked around, his steps thudding against the marble as he paced in circles

Perse, on the other hand, was making Rigel some sandwiches of a wide variety for Rigel, ensuring he had something he found enjoyable

She always did find it odd when he was the only person who ate Lilia's food with splendor

She sighed as she slightly realized signs from all over the years they've been going here

Maybe he's too far deep to be saved, maybe this'll be worthless in the end

Like a snake eating its own tail

Her thoughts were broken when she saw a hand snatch one of the made sandwiches She turned and saw Idia holding it in his mouth as he grabbed other snacks

She grimaced

This was her housewarden?

“Idia, you do know that's for Rigel, right?”

He glanced at her, now holding the sandwich “Hm? Oh, yeah, I do.”

She slightly scowled

“Then why did you take it?”

He sighed, slightly scowling “I honestly don't see the point in you making food for him. He's not going to eat it. Plus, you're acting as if he's anorexic or something.” He sighed

“As sweet as what you're doing for him is, it's ultimately pointless.”

She stared at him

Appalled, in all honesty

A man, who grew up with Rigel, a man who's more of a brother to him than she is a sister Calling her efforts futile

“.... Are you fucking kidding me?”

“E-eh?” Idia squeaked, slightly shocked by her language

“Idia, do you actually pay attention to your dorm mates?”

He opened this mouth to answer only for her to continue “Oh who am I kidding, of course you don't. You're a housewarden and you can't match the faces to names of IRL people, but you do it easily in games.”

“Idia, you grew up with Rigel, you know everything about him so how the actual fuck are you going to stand there and tell me that my efforts are useless when you, of all people, should know, that Rigel's diet consists of nothing but lead, plastic, metal, dirt, wood, cardboard— Things that have no business being in anyone's diet tract, is in his!” She yelled at him, her hand slamming against the counter as she gestured to the outside

Where Rigel was

Idia shuffled nervously underneath her words

Perse was mad

Maybe her anger was directed to Idia and not doing anything sooner

Maybe it was the world

Everyone. Everything. Who knows.

Rigel heard them to

It was hard not too

Especially since some students made mumbled on how Perse when she's mad sounds like a banshee

Rigel leaned against the doorway, listening to the one sided argument between his sister and Idia

“— Maybe if you weren't so preoccupied with your own devices, you'd have known that Rigel is suffering, and-” Her voice went silent and dead as Rigel finally decided to enter

“Hey, guys!” He grinned at the two, pretending to not notice the red tips of Idia's hair turn blue again

“Ri-Rigel, how long were you there?” Perse asked

“Oh, I just got here!” He grinned at her

Idia grumbled slightly, not believing Rigel for a second but not questioning it

“I- I see… Well, I- I made you some food for later.” Perse gestured to the sandwiches she made

“Oooh! They all look so good! You didn't have to, you know that, right?” Perse nodded

The demon shifted slightly, tugging at his cloak as he stared at the pieces of food she made him

“... I'll eat it later.” He said as he grabbed some bags to put them in for later

“You'll at least have one of them for lunch, right?” She asked as she placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder

“Of course!” He lied with his black grin

His teeth reflecting the fluorescent blue lights of Ignihyde “Now, you look tired, how about you go rest?” He asked a small tilt of his head

“Well… I guess I am a little tired..” she grumbled slightly, running a hand through her hair and softly tugging at her ponytail, “I suppose a quick nap wouldn't hurt..” she mumbled with a shrug

“There ya go!” Rigel softly nudged her to the door, “you go have a nice nap, and we'll wake you if we either need anything or it's dinner.”

“Now don't keep me sleeping for that long, Idia might start a fire.” The two laughed as Rigel gave her a quick hug before she left

He turned to Idia whom also left the room, his arms filled with some snacks and such

He sighed as he backed up, leaning against the counter as his nails dug into the marble, his breath slightly quickening for whatever reason

There was nothing wrong as of this moment

But Perse's unnecessary care and love

She made this for him

For whatever reason

He stared at the bags with the sounds of nails against marble filling the silence

He wasn't going to eat them, of course

He never ate the food she gave unless she was in the room with him

He sighed as he reached took an empty bag that pulled out with another

Stuffing the plastic into his mouth as his teeth began to dig and tear, allowing it to become swallowable

His mouth made the chewing motion a few more seconds before stopping, a soft scowl forming on his features as his mind raced

Maybe—

He heard footsteps and saw a student enter

“Eh?- Oh, hello, Rigel-Senpai.” The student greeted

“Hey….”

There was an awkward silence as they two stared at another

The student went to leave, deciding that whatever he wishes to grab wasn't worth it

“Hey.” Rigel called out before they left

“Do you want a sandwich?” He smiled sweetly to the boy

tag list: @midnightmah07(hi again!)

(first time doing something like this, so if I messed up on anything, pls don't hesitate to tell me)

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

last night i met a pick me girl who was such a pick me that it felt painfully cringe to be at the party, AND i also watched her actively try to cheat on her man with all his friends.

so first off, the friend group is all dudes. im used to being the only girl there and its fine. i was actually excited bc said pick me was coming and i hadnt met her and shes someones gf so i was like okay cool and i also thought another guys sister was comin too but she didnt. so anyway i walk in and shes immediately like WHOA ANOTHER GIRL I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE THE ONLY GIRL HERE...and then immediately told us she had just tried coke. and i was like okay and she asked me if id ever used or my experience with it and i was like i dont use anymore it made my eating disorder worse and she panicked like coke was gonna make her anorexic. lol??

anyway the entire night she got so fucking pissy that the guys were talking me, greeting me with hugs, etc she would just walk up and interrupt or like nuzzle on whoever i was talking to AGAIN WITH HER BF IN THE SAME ROOM HELLO????? and it made us all uncomfortable.

one of the guys regularly plays smash with us so we had our lil smash tourney and she decided she wanted to learn so we let her play a bit but the other guys who did play wanted in so theyd ask her if they could take her spot and she sat there on the couch and was like WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE HER AND WANNA PLAY WITH HER IM RIGHT HERE TOO and i was like ....prob bc im their friend, they know me? and she got mad and went off to try and flirt with more people out of weird spite.

my lipgloss fell out of my pocket and of course she found it and picks it up and goes "butter gloss??? oh this must belong to the OTHER female...of course youre wearing lip gloss. i didnt wear makeup i dont do all that" like okay girl a simple "hey you dropped this" would have worked like??? for what reason?? also i told you my name lmfao.

okay so our other friend decided to actually kick them out bc she was annoying and her bf kept getting embarrassed by her and very upset by her blatant flirting. our friend was generous & got them a lyft. this girl tried to tell her bf he could go and she was staying here and it would be fine and literally all of us told her to gtfo 💀💀💀💀 like girlfriend posted up on the sofa and was like "you can go. im having fun. im staying. i like these guys a lot" and literally tried to nuzzle up with another guy while her bf was there and telling her she was way too intoxicated to be in public and she was embarrassing herself and him

and she asked why i got to stay and our friend who kicked them out just goes "BECAUSE WE FUCKING LIKE HER, GO."

the only person she didnt try with was my partner and everyone agreed it was probably bc she was intimidated by me. but like there was no fucking reason to do all that like????

WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE THAT

[themultifandomgal]

Cillian Murphy- Insecurities

Trigger warnings- talks about anorexia, divorce and online bullying

I meet Cillian when I joined season 4 of Peaky Blinders, I was to be Tommy Shelbys new love interest. However during this time it came out that Cillian was divorced and I was the one to blame, although they had divorced a year before I had even met Cillian. The hate I received was unbelievable, I was called a home wrecker, I was told to harm myself, told I was nothing but a gold digger so many nasty things, and since I'm 15 years younger it was worse. For Cillian this was such a hard time because he is such a privet person, but like always the hate died down. It's been a few years now and Cillian and I promoting our newest film together Oppenheimer. However the news about me being in this film had mix reviews, most positive, but there's still a handful of people who believe that I'm the cause of his divorce. I was recently added into a group chat on Twitter where they criticised my body, my acting, my relationship. This made me question a lot of this and I definitely became insecure.

Before Cillian and I met I was anorexic and when we did meet it was when I was better, although he knows all about that and has helped me through some dark moments I still have days where I feel like I could go back to my old days. Things have gotten so bad I have deleted all of my social medias. I'm curled up in mine and Cillian bed crying after looking at myself in the mirror for the last 20 minutes when the door opens

"Babe have you seen... what's wrong? Are you hurt? Feel ill?"

"I'm fine"

"You obviously aren't because your crying so come on tell me"

"Honestly Cil I'm just being stupid"

"Never stupid. Tell my what's going on in that head of yours" Cillian moves a stray hair from my face then moves to caress my check.  I sigh leaning into his touch

"It's just other girls are much prettier than me. You could literally have anyone in the world but you chose me, I don't understand why. I'm 15 years younger, I'm in my 20s so my do you want me?"

"Babe come here" I sit up and scoot over to Cillian who wraps me up in his arms "I love you and only you. Your beautiful inside and out, don't listen to what other people say, because I know you do, stop looking at the news. As for your age, it's just a number we're both adults and can do whatever we want, within reason, you've got to stop letting other peoples words cloud your own judgment. This is why I stay offline"

"Yeah Will I deleted all my social the other week"

"I know you though YN, and I know that you will still search for yourself to see what people are saying about you"

"I just hate feeling like this, hate feeling so insecure"

"I know baby I hate seeing you hate yourself when all I see is perfection. What can I do to help?" I shrug my shoulders not really knowing what anyone could do "what about speaking to your therapist. Maybe they could give you some advice" Cillian suggests

"Yeah maybe"

"YN I love you so much and I will tell you everyday how beautiful you are and how much I love you" Cillian leans down and kisses my lips "I'll make sure to tell you how important you are to not only me but everyone around you. This hate will go away, or at least you won't see it"

"I love you too" I smile at him glad I have him in my life "what was it you were looking for?"

"Huh?"

"You came in about to ask me where something was"

"Oh. I was just wondering if you knew where my hoodie was but I think I've found it" I giggle pulling the sleeves down and snuggling into Cillian more. Things will be ok soon.

[richardcampbellgansey-iii]

Papercut

Jeongcheol/JeonghanxSeungcheol

TW: eating disorders, drug addiction.

The ward was small and there was no longer even room for the seriously ill. There was for him, it seemed. Seungcheol didn't think he was sick. He just thought he had vices. Vices that could be corrected even without all the medicines they pumped him with from morning to night. He was no longer himself. He walked like a living dead day and night. 

- Have you considered hospitalization?

- No. And I won't. 

- Look, I spoke to your parents: they say that in their opinion you should be admitted to hospital. 

- I'm thirty. I believe that the decision-making power is mine. 

- Not in this case. You see, Seungcheol, a drug addict can't risk being exposed to the world out there. Not in your condition. 

- I stop whenever I want. 

- I don’t think so. Otherwise, you would have already stopped. 

- And who tells you this, doctor?

But the doctor had been very convincing, and he was now hospitalized in the psychiatry department. The days were so long he always wanted to go to sleep as soon as possible. 

The only light he had was Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan was thin as a paper sheet, it was no wonder that every time Seungcheol touched him he could feel his ribs, spine and shoulder blades vividly. He, to all intents and purposes, was sick. He shaked every time he didn’t have his hoodie with him, and it was June. 

Jeonghan didn’t go anywhere without his glasses, too. He was blind as a mole, but even with those thick frame glasses, Seungcheol found him so beautiful he couldn’t stop staring at him. He remembered the first time he saw him, on his first day. At that time, Seungcheol had been there for two weeks and two days. And he saw this paper thin boy, curved on his bed, reading something. 

Seungcheol had stopped in front of his open door, smiling at him with his consumed teeth, hoping not to scare him. 

- Hi! - he said. The boy had raised his head and eyes from his book, looking at him. A shy smile appeared on his lips. - Hi. 

- You’re so beautiful. - Seungcheol said, sincerely. The paper thin boy smiled even more, his cheeks turned red. - Thank you. You’re beautiful too. 

- Oh, no. I’m not. I’m all consumed by the drugs, you see? Even my tongue is. See? - He stuck out his tongue, and the boy tilted his head. - This doesn’t make you less beautiful. I like your pants. 

- These? Oh. I stole them. 

The boy laughed. - You stole them?!

- Yeah. I steal lots of things. Have you ever stolen anything?

The boy didn’t even think before answering. - No. 

- Good boy. Stealing is not a good thing. I did it because I spent everything on drugs. 

- You stole them from who?

He brought a hand to his mouth, whispering: - A clothing shop. 

- Makes sense. 

- Can I come in?

- Of course. I feel alone here. 

Seungcheol entered the room, looking around. The room, like any other, was bare and blindingly white. Psychiatric rooms were almost naked, there wasn't anything that could hurt the patient. Pillows, cables, even body care products were segregated by the nurses. But Jeonghan’s room was full of puppets and books, and Seungcheol was softened by that. He could understand Jeonghan’s good heart just by that. He took a panda puppet from the night table and looked at its eyes, smiling. - So cute. 

- My mom brought me that. For the hospitalization. 

- She must love you. 

- She does. 

- Mine doesn’t. She brought me here, with my father. They didn’t want me at home. I know it’s embarrassing, a thirty years old man still lives with his parents.

- You look younger. I’m twenty-nine. 

Seungcheol widened his eyes. That boy looked like an angel, a young angel. How could he possibly be his age? - Twenty-what?

Jeonghan laughed. - Twenty-nine. 

- Did your parents send you here, too?

- No. I decided to come here. 

- Why are you here?

Jeonghan’s face darkened. - Because I don’t eat. 

- You… Don’t eat? 

- Yeah. 

- So you’re like, anorexic or something? - Seungcheol wasn’t good with feelings or words, but he didn’t do it on purpose. 

- Yeah. - Jeonghan let his gaze wander through the room. - And you? Why are you here?

- I love drugs. 

That had been their first interaction. And now Seungcheol was in his room, dying from boredom, thinking about his sun. And longing for a cigarette. So he decided to do something about that. He walked out of his room, taking a cigarette out of his pocket and walking straight to Jeonghan’s room. He saw the boy sleeping in his bed, and he was delighted by that vision, even if it hurt. 

Jeonghan looked like a hurt angel whose wings had been clipped. So thin, everyday he looked thinner and thinner. He had never seen him eating. Every time they had dinner, because dinner was at six p.m. and everyone had it together, he never ate, even if the nurses constricted him, with very unpleasant tones. 

- Eat, Yoon. 

- I don’t want to. 

- I said: eat. If you don’t eat, we tie you up. 

- I don’t like lentils. 

- You say this every fucking evening and morning. Fucking spoiled boy.

- Hey, don’t treat him like that. - Seungcheol said that evening, and the other patients raised their heads. The nurse looked at him. - Mind your business. I do this for him. 

- Have you tried talking to him with sweetness? Maybe his will to eat will be better. You treat us like fucking criminals. And even criminals shouldn’t be treated like this, because they’re human, too. 

Jeonghan smiled at him. And his heart started beating faster. He knew he was doing something good by that. 

- Shut up, Choi, and eat your lentils. 

- No! I deserve to be listened to! Our voice matters! Am I right? 

The patients nodded, or said “Yes” in unison. 

- We’re not just surnames. We’re people. - Lee Chan said, at the back of the table. 

- Of course we are! We are fucking people! And we need to be treated like people!

- Okay, then. - The nurse raised his voice, and overturned Jeonghan’s plate against his pajamas. Jeonghan jumped as the hot soup of lentils touched his skin, wincing. Seungcheol immediately rushed to him, helping him to clean himself. 

- What the fuck?! Are you dumb?

- He didn’t want to eat, so he won’t eat. Goodnight. If I don’t see you in your beds, I’ll tell the psychiatrist. 

Seungcheol was still shocked by that action. Jeonghan couldn’t even have a shower, because his products and his clean pajamas were in the locker, which was locked and the nurses had the keys. And he probably didn’t have the courage to ask anything. Seungcheol approached him, sitting on his bed and caressing his sunken cheeks. 

- Hannie. How are you? Time for a cigarette?

He didn’t take so much time to apprehend Jeonghan was crying, not sleeping. He should’ve felt so humiliated. Seungcheol would make that nurse pay for that. 

- Cheol. Am I spoiled?

- You’re not fucking spoiled. You’re really trusting the words of a crazy ass psychopath? You’re ill. You perfectly know that. Here, let me give you this. - Seungcheol had brought a clean sweater from his locker. He asked the keys to the nurses, because he didn’t really care what they could’ve said. 

Jeonghan took the sweater. - For me?

- Of course it’s for you. You smell of lentils.

Jeonghan’s eyes dropped. 

- Oh, no, no! It’s not your fault, baby. - Seungcheol lifted Jeonghan’s chin, looking at his eyes. He was about to cry. - It’s not your fault. It’s his fault. He made a mess on your beautiful pajamas!

- You… You called me “baby”. 

Seungcheol didn’t even notice. He just let his word flow. - Oh. Did I?

- Yeah. 

- Sorry. I didn’t mean to. 

- No, it’s okay. I like that. 

Seungcheol smiled. - Okay, baby. I’ll do it again, then. 

Their relationship was so pure Seungcheol wanted to cry. They were… Friends? He never really understood that. They were more than friends. 

“Friends don’t call each other baby” he told himself. And he liked Jeonghan. Every time he looked at him, his heart made somersaults. His big beautiful eyes, his pink lips, his long, black hair. Everything about Jeonghan looked like a fever dream. Jeonghan wore that black sweater, too large for him, but still adorable on his skin. 

- Cigarette? - Seungcheol insisted. 

- You heard what he said. If he sees us, he ties us up. 

- Okay, then I’ll sleep here. 

- You… You can’t.

- You’re fucking boring. - Seungcheol lay down on Jeonghan’s bed, hugging him tightly. He could feel his spine and ribs. The boy hugged him back, caressing his back with his small hand. 

- I love you. 

Seungcheol raised his head, looking at him. - You do?

- I’ve never loved someone like I love you. 

Seungcheol held his face, looking at his eyes, at his lips. - Can I kiss you?

Before he could, Jeonghan kissed him. Seungcheol couldn’t be happier. He hugged him ever tighter than before, kissing him everywhere, making him laugh. - I fucking love you too. 

[honeysuckle-venom]

Warnings for: discussion of dieting/intentional weight loss, medical issues, eating disorders, and related topics

Here's the thing. On a general level, I don't believe in dieting. I think it's bad for you, the science shows it almost never works, it makes people miserable, it usually comes from an unhealthy place, and it encourages unhealthy behaviors. And. At the same time. I have a rare disease that could potentially have very dangerous complications if untreated/if it progresses, and it seems to be progressing. And genuine research has shown a significant correlation between developing hepatic adenomas/having more adenomas/having more growth in your adenomas and "obesity." Now, there are links between lots of things and "obesity" and often not nearly enough research is done into WHY and whether any correlations actually have anything to do with causality. And I don't fully know why obesity and hepatic adenomas are correlated, I have to talk to my hepatologist about it, though from what my dad found in his research he suspects it's a combination of adipose tissue producing more estrogen and potentially other metabolic effects (more research/answers are needed there). If someone says "being fat makes you unhealthy in x way" I always want to know the underlying mechanisms there, because it's never that simple. But the point is that it does look like, in this case, hepatic adenomas and obesity are at the very least significantly correlated.

There are not a lot of treatment options for hepatic adenomas. The first step is always going off any hormonal birth control, which I did a year ago. If things shrink, great, you can keep monitoring and hope that things stay shrinking or at least stable and probably leave it at that. If, however, things continue to grow, well that becomes concerning, because the larger the tumors are the more risk there is of them rupturing or becoming cancerous. If your tumors are larger than 5cm, like mine, and not shrinking or goodness forbid growing then just continuing to monitor may not be a safe long term solution. So you'll have to look at other treatment options, none of which are great.

The next step in trying to get them to shrink after stopping birth control is almost always weight loss. Because the only other options are a) transarterial embolization (a very gross procedure I looked up that I'm terrified of having to do in which blood flow is cut off from the tumors), b) ablation (which isn't recommended for tumors larger than 3cm which mine are), c) liver resection (which I'm pretty sure I'm not a candidate for because I have too many large tumors in too many places, and anyway is a very scary and risky surgery with months of recovery) and finally d) liver transplant (an ever scarier and riskier surgery with significant risks of mortality). And as much as I don't believe in or want to diet, the other options are worse.

Which means that it is very likely that in a few weeks, when my therapist gets back from vacation, I will be seriously attempting to lose weight for the first time since I was an anorexic teenager. And I don't want to, I so don't want to, but I suspect it's going to be the best choice out of a group of bad ones. But I'm so scared. I'm already having crazy relapse thoughts, I'm already struggling with horrible OCD food research spirals and calorie counting and thinking about food for hours and hours and hours each day. And it sucks. My hope is that it will actually get slightly better if I genuinely try to lose weight with my therapist and use a detailed meal plan, because then it will at least be set in stone and not just me panicking indecisively about everything. It'll be predetermined in therapy, so I won't have to spend hours thinking about it on my own. But I don't know, it still feels very risky for my mental health. I know how easy it is for me to obsessively count and calculate everything and how much that sucks and how much I hate it even as I can't stop myself. And I'm just. I'm just so stressed about the whole thing. Also like, it almost feels like it would be a slight betrayal of my values, because I really don't believe in dieting and I hate diet culture and love the anti-diet and fat acceptance movements. But at the same time I wouldn't be doing it to look better or whatever, I'd be doing it with the very specific goal of hopefully shrinking my tumors. And if I do go down this path and it turns out that the main reason obesity and hepatic adenomas are correlated is indeed higher estrogen in fatty tissue I'm going to talk to my doctors about monitoring my estrogen levels, so that I'm looking at the underlying cause and trying to focus on that number instead of just the number on the scale. But idk. This whole thing just. It just sucks and it's scary and I'm in awful OCD hell and I really wish my therapist wasn't away for the next week and a half.

[thelaughtercafe]

Impactful Intervention

Tea Type: Half and Half (Fluff with Hurt/Comfort)

Potential Triggers: Eating disorder talk(anorexic leaning), and self-deprecation though it’s not super explicit in either case!

Pairing: Bakugou, Kirishima, Izuku, Ochaco, Mina, Denki and Shinsou/Reader (Can be read platonic or romantic)

Length: 2.1k+

Summary:  You get reminded you’re not nearly as alone in your struggles as you like to think.

A/N: Sheridan here! This is super self-indulgent so I banged this out when struggling with the exact issue in the fic when I didn’t want to eat 😅 This is a continuous series with this as the first fic! Not much twording this is just pure hurt/comfort and fluff really, with some minor twords! I’m tagging it as a tlc: fic rather than a tword fic, but it will be tword series in 2 chapters, so I hope you all look forward to it!

“Why don’t you eat more often?”

The question was blunt and close enough to your ear that it tickled, making you flinch away from Todoroki with a squeak. 

His question registered and you swallowed nervously under his perceptive gaze, shoving a fry in your mouth before faking as bright a smile as you could.

“I eat plenty! I just had a big breakfast.”

The familiar lie fell all too easily from your tongue. 

Todoroki sat across from you with a reluctant hum of acknowledgment along with Kirishima and then Bakugou, as Deku and Ocacho sat on either side of you.

The quiet now that had overtaken the table was uncomfortable and you were feeling jittery under several gazes.

“S-So anyway-

Deku spoke up before you could change the subject. 

“You’ve said that to me before too; Todoroki is kinda right. Every time I offer you a snack you always say no.”

He was pouting and your smile widened nervously as you waved him off.

“You’re worrying too much! Really, I promise I’m eating enough. I wouldn’t be able to train as hard as I do otherwise right?”

Deku’s eyes were still worried but he nodded in agreement after a moment’s thought. 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

Most eyes looking at you turned away after that and you breathed a sigh of relief, your smile losing some of its anxiety. 

You didn’t expect to look up and meet Bakugo’s stalwart gaze. You nearly flinched in surprise but caught yourself; instead looking away quickly and rushing to shove a chicken nugget down your throat. 

Given his eyes still hadn’t left you, you couldn’t very well throw out your tray. So, you crafted a hasty excuse, checking your phone and making a show as your eyes widened before you hopped up, grabbed your bag, and dashed off with a rushed. 

“Sorry guys I totally forgot I have to return this book to the library today or it’ll be late!!”

Once out of the cafeteria you found you could breathe again; heart pounding a mile a minute. That was too close. Your friends didn’t need to share your burdens. They were your stupid hangups and deficiencies. No need to pile more on than they already definitely had. 

You made your way back to your dorm and tried to relax as your stomach growled. 

Later that day; burgundy eyes scanned the library’s sign-in book and narrowed as his fist met the wooden stand harshly. 

-----

The next day you headed to class and it went as usual. You felt you could finally relax; joking easily with Deku, Denki and Mina like any other day. It seemed that yesterday’s heavy conversation had all but been forgotten. 

Until the end of the school day. 

You trailed after Bakugou as he dragged you by the wrist after him protesting weakly. 

“B-Bakugou! I can walk you know! Just tell me where we’re going first!!”

The fiery blond was uncharacteristically silent and a chill went down your spine. What was causing him to act like this? Was everything okay?

You quickened your pace as best you could. 

Bakugou shoved you in front of him into his dorm room and you typically would have demanded to know what was going on…but the worried eyes and the way all mumbled conversation stopped when you entered made it all too clear. 

It had been too easy yesterday after all. 

You turned without a second thought but Bakugou was already ahead of you, leaning too casually against the exit with his back and foot against the door and staring you down impassively. 

You gritted your teeth but tried to keep your anxiety at bay. 

“What the Hell is this?”

“Don’t get so cagey; we just want to talk."

You reluctantly turned your gaze from the door to Todoroki, ever the mediator. 

Your smile was obviously forced, unlike yesterday. 

"Little hard not to be when I get dragged halfway across the school and have the exit blocked like I’m a wild animal.”

Your voice was not shaking. 

“We tried to talk to you yesterday but you just…brushed it off. We wanted to do it in a more intimate setting where you’d hopefully feel safer with fewer of us.”

Deku clarified, fidgeting nervously with his fingers as his gaze flicked between your eyes and his hands. 

“We just wanna help.”

Your answer was instant. 

“I don’t need help. Can someone please tell me what we’re doing here?”

A snort from behind you made you glance back and you tensed at the intensity in Bakugou’s expression, defensive, more so than you already were. 

Kirishima must’ve sensed it too since he moved to stand and held his hands up placatingly.

“Hey man don’t-

But it was too late. 

Bakugou was already closing in on you and your breath caught as he easily cornered you against the edge of his bed, tall frame towering over you. 

When your eyes instinctively moved to look away from his he hissed and grabbed your chin, his touch gentle but firm. 

"No. Look at me. I have one very simple question for you, nerd. And if you lie to me? Consider our friendship over. You got that?”

Your vision was blurring but you nodded shakily. Despite his tough exterior, you’d grown close to him. Were friends with both him and Deku respectively. So for him to threaten something so serious when you both know he’d follow through…needless to say you were petrified. 

“Why did you lie about having a book to return yesterday? And I’ll save you one potential lie. I checked the sign in sheet after school yesterday. Think carefully before you answer.”

He grunted before releasing you, turning on his heel and returning to his place at the door where he continued staring you down. 

You felt helpless. What else could you say? You’d been caught red handed. 

“You…you really lied? But you hate lying!”

You smiled bitterly at Deku’s words, but nodded in agreement. 

“You’re not wrong there. But I…”

You took a deep breath and moved to get comfortable on Bakugou’s bed, knowing you’d need to sit down for this. You were half facing Bakugou and Kirishima who was now at his side by the door and the others who, now that you somewhat had the guts to look, consisted of Deku, Todoroki, Kaminari, Uraraka and Ashido. You flinched a little as you noticed Shinsou in the corner, so quiet you would’ve missed him if he hadn’t been watching you so intensely. 

That settled it for you, there really was no choice here. 

You closed your eyes as you felt overwhelmed and jumped at the feeling of an arm wrapping around your shoulders, reluctantly opening your eyes and looking to see Ashido smiling cheerfully at you. Kaminari wasn’t far behind as he hopped up onto your other side and joined your makeshift hug. 

You hadn’t even realized how much you’d been shaking until then and luckily their touch was grounding, helping you to breathe better and focus. 

“Shit…okay. Um…”

Your eyes went to the floor and you hated that they were already stinging.

“I just…I d-don’t really like eating in front of people? That’s how it started I guess. I-

A deep exhale escaped your lips and your eyes jerked between your friends in worry.

"Oh God what if I trigger you guys? This is why I didn’t want to tell anyone I don’t want to burden-”

“Hey.”

Shinsou’s voice was gentle but clear and at it you instantly quieted, meeting his gaze in surprise.

“We’re all here because we want to be and we care about you. Every single one of us has noticed the signs. If we weren’t prepared for it; we wouldn’t be converging like this.”

As usual, his words were nothing but unblemished truth and you let out a shaky half laugh. Even when you were on the verge of a breakdown he could stop you from spiraling. At least some things hadn’t changed. Still, you nodded and got ready to continue. 

“Okay.”

Deep breath.

“I’ve kinda slowly just…not wanted to eat really?”

Your voice was little more than a squeak before you rushed to continue.

“I mean!! I do eat sometimes! I snack now and again but I mainly have 1 meal a day and it’s highly unlikely I even finish that.”

You rolled your eyes skyward and looked at Bakugou’s ceiling finding it much easier to talk when you weren’t looking at anyone. 

“I lied because…It’s not any of your problems. You’re dealing with so much already; who am I to pile on or complain ya know? Besides, it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s really not that bad.”

Your dismissive words finally triggered a roar that had Kaminari and Ashido both rushing back towards the main circle as Bakugou lunged.

“Not that bad!?!”

“Eep!”

You squeaked as he easily pinned you down while straddling your waist holding your wrists with one hand while gesturing wildly with the other as he ranted. 

“Now you listen to me and you listen good! First of all; you can and damn well better come to us! We’re all here for you and you can bet your ass I’m sure we’re all going to help you overcome this. Something you left out but I’m sure you think; you’re not fat.”

Oh, look! Just like that, you’re crying. 

Deku had puffed his cheeks up and he hopped up and bounced over to nod energetically at you.  

“Kacchan is right! You’re really nimble! One of the fastest in class in fact!”

“And also one of the weakest.”

You thought your mumble would go unnoticed but Shinsou startled you by running his fingers through your hair and shaking his head, fondness in his gaze. 

“Dummy. You’re one of the strongest people I know. You have an emotion-based Quirk and still manage to keep up with your hero friends. You’re a badass.”

Well, now you were blushing and crying. Gosh, you felt like a hot mess.

“I second that! And you’re always looking out for us when we have any issues! You bake the class sweets all the time, always listen attentively whenever any one of us has a bad day. Heck, you even tried to help Mineta learn how to talk to girls.”

Kirishima chuckled. 

Uraraka giggled at that, making your blush darken. 

“Which is extra cute considering how blushy and stammery you’d get around all the boys but especially Bakugou at first, remember?”

Ashido joined in with a laugh of her own. 

“Ohmygosh that’s right!! Even with us girls, she was shy and hard to get to open up. She was still the class sweetheart even then though~”

You groaned, hiding your face in your arm. 

“Don’t remind me. I couldn’t help it!! It was my first time being around attractive guys; I had no clue how to react!”

“Aw, you think I’m attractive?”

Bakugou smirked down at you and even as you were sure you were a tomato by now you stuck your tongue out at him playfully. 

“Don’t let it go to your head hotshot~”

He snickered as Kaminari strode over to poke your cheek, grinning as you tried to bite his finger.

“Hey! Brat!”

He chuckled before rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

“Anyway; you probably don’t know but you’re not alone with what you’re goin through. I dunno about the rest but I’ve struggled with eating stuff too. If you need me to remind you or someone just to talk to those who’ve been through it?  My dorm room is always open.

Todoroki raised a hand at that, shy but supportive. 

"Mine too.”

You found yourself misty-eyed but nodded sheepishly.

“I… I’m willing to try, then. If you guys don’t mind helping and it’s not a pain-wah!”

You jerked as Bakugou squeezed your side to cut you off with a grumble despite the quickly growing smirk on his face.

“Stop. Putting. Yourself.  Down. In fact…”

An idea lit his eyes that already made you squirm as he turned to face the others. 

“I say we tickle her anytime she says anything self-deprecating or when she apologizes for no reason. Sound fun?”

Your eyes widened. Bastard!! That was supposed to be a secret! He promised! 

Seeing the look on your face he snickered. 

“Consider this my payback for lying. Lucky you you’ll get to have 7 more lers to go to now~”

With that he pulled back, grin all the more wicked as he looked back at your apprehensive friends. Sensing what he was about to do, you whined. 

“Baku don’t you fucking dare-”

But he was already speaking over you. 

“Don’t look so nervous; she’d sooner die than admit it but she actually loves it.”

Well if you weren’t a tomato before…

As your friends all closed in with giddy grins quickly mirrored by you you couldn’t help but think how lucky you were to have such amazing friends. 

…You were still gonna kill Bakugou for this later though.

[voxnetwork]

Valentino Information

Theme Songs:

• Get Hooked - Paranoid DJ

• Valentino - Paranoid DJ cover (original by Olly Alexander)

• Rule #34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Human Life:

Human Name: Andres Castallo

Age of Death: 36

Decade of Death: 1970's

Location of Death: Los Angeles, USA

Gender: Male (Non-binary in death)

Sexuality: Pansexual

Human Occupation: Drug Dealer/Prostitute turned Sex trafficker

About:

He grew up poor on the streets of Mexico, trying to make some money so that he could take care of his sick mother and younger sisters. He started selling drugs but soon got an offer that he couldn't refuse. He began to prostitute himself out, and he made better money, allowing him to look after his family.

He meet an American man that gave him an amazing opportunity, help him and get paid richly for it. This was the start of his life as a sex trafficker. Everyone trusted the young boy, they didn't expect for him to drug and bring them to a man that ended up with them being trafficked to America.

After years of this, his mother had died and sisters had moved out, on with their lives he had nothing left to do in Mexico and he got offered a position up in America and that is where he moved, working with the men and women that had just been trafficked into America. His job was to make sure they were up to a good standard and trained well enough before going to auction. It was during this time he had found his sadistic streak.

For the next 20 years he worked his way up the food chain that was the sex trafficking industry.

Death:

Andre died in the mid 70s, he was shot to death during a police raid.

Afterlife:

Demon type: Moth Demon

Location: Pride Ring, Hell

Status: Overlord

Occuation: Porn Direction, Sex/Strip Club Owner

Random Facts:

Valentino is Non-binary, not that he knew about this when he was a human it was thanks to Velvette that he found out what his gender was.

To tell if he is feeling more feminine or masculine is in the way he dresses.

Valentinos Pheromones work in different ways. He has it through his cigarette smoke, which mixes in with his saliva. He can control the smoke, allowing it to spread as he wanted. - This gives them a high.

His saliva also works as an aphrodisiac if it gets into anyone's system.

Every single bodily fluid has some sort of aphrodisiac, even if it is weak.

He is very blind.

He sleeps with the lights on, or if he is sleeping in the same bed as Vox, his face would be pressed up to his screen.

He is anorexic. He does not eat unless someone forces him to. This is something that has carried over from when he was alive, having always been told he was too fat.

One of his clients, when he was alive, paid for dancing lessons.

He squeaks when he is either really agitated or very horny.

He use to be able to fly but got his antenna burnt off and can no longer fly as antennas are used to stablises them.

NSFW Information

Valentinos cock is retractable into a slit on his pelvic. When he horny it comes out, and at the base, it has two hair like follicles called Coremata, which release his pheromones, attracting those around to him.

Valentino has a large cock, it is 10 inches hard and about 4 inches in girth.

Valentino has 3 piercings on the underside of his penis , this is called Frenum Ladders

Valentino is a switch, though he is mainly seen as a Dom. The only person he has sub for is Vox.

He is very kinky and can like some very fucked up stuff.

Ships

These are my OTPs, but I am always open for other ships.

Valentino/Vox

Valentino/Vox/Velvette

Valentino/Angel

[g0ttal0ve101]

Confession

Note: RIAM ATTACK 💥💥 ok but seriously I haven’t written anything in weeks bc I’m deathly ill soooo here’s this to make up for it! TW: domestic abuse, kidnapping, obsessive behavior.

████████████████████

“You fucking anorexic whore!”

One more drink should cast the thought away for good this time. At least, that’s what Riley kept telling herself. Cup after cup, song after song, she found herself almost too drunk to even think straight. That was fine. It was better than thinking about him going off with another girl.

The booze took away from the pain of her bruise planted underneath her eye, but it didn’t help her escape from the looks she kept getting from the other guests at the party. She figured she must have looked awful — Many others would beg to differ. Even with that nasty purple wound on her pale complexion, she was one of the prettiest girls of Woodlyn High. With eyes that resembled a meadow after sweet spring rain and hair the color of ravenous flames, it was hard not to spare a glance or two. Although, Jordan didn’t seem to think that. And if he didn’t care to look at her, she knew that she wasn’t worth looking at.

“Hey.”

God, that voice was painfully familiar. Turning her head in the direction of the sound, she let out a soft groan. “Huh?”

There she saw Thomas Hall — The valedictorian of her grade and host of this party. He leaned over her like a hawk preying upon its next meal with a sick grin plastered on his face. She knew whatever was going to be said or done wasn’t going to be good. Trying desperately to think of a way out, she notably took in her surroundings again. He chuckled from the sight.

“You single?”

“Fuck off, Thomas…”

“No, seriously. Did Jordan break up with you?”

There was a pause for a brief moment or two. Putting the brim back to her lips and chugging down the rest of the alcohol contained within it, she prayed to God that she wouldn’t say something she’d ultimately regret.

It was almost inevitable once she opened her mouth. “For now, yeah…mmh, to go out with ‘nother bitch tonight. He’ll be back tomorrow…” Her words slurred together miserably as she became almost incomprehensible.

Thomas sat down beside her, presumably locking into the conversation. Only then did she see his three friends behind him; David Nixon, Freddy Brooks, and Charlie Allen. It seemed like her future was getting darker and darker as time progressed. It wasn’t a good idea to get involved with these guys. Once they have even a little piece of information to hold above your head, they’ll be able to control your every move. That must be what they’re trying to accomplish right now. Riley scoffed from the thought.

“Well, y’know…I’ve always had the hots for you, Riley.” Thomas hummed, grabbing her empty cup to pour stronger alcohol inside. She had almost forgotten she was sitting in the kitchen by herself where all the drinks were. However, she didn’t recognize this brand. It must be expensive. “My door’s always open.”

“Fuck you and your door.” She spat right back at him, snatching the cup from his hand and taking a hesitant sip. “I won’t fuck on a pussy ass momma’s boy. Skip me on that.”

That description he heard of himself made his smile widen. She rejected him. That made this even more fun. “Isn’t Jordan a momma’s boy? I figured you just had a type. Anyway though, wanna go bust him and that slut?”

Her eyes turned to saucers. “What…?”

“They’re fucking in her car right now.” The rasp in his voice grew thicker as he grew more eager for her reaction. “Don’t you wanna show them who’s in charge, Riley? Don’t you want him back?”

All those words rubbed her in all the right ways. If she were sober, she could’ve seen through his cunning tactics. However, she couldn’t even see straight anymore, so there was no way of indicating anything was astray. She believed him without a second of a doubt.

Standing up wasn’t so easy. Placing her weight on her feet and stumbling forward, she crashed into a chair immediately. It wasn’t until Thomas grabbed a hold of her that she managed to fix her posture.

“Get off me.” Riley snapped, shoving him away as harshly as she could in the moment. It felt like her body was moving in slow motion. The alcohol surely did numbers in her. Once she felt his hands on her again, she raised her voice. “I SAID GET THE FUCK OFF ME, YOU STUPID MANWHORE! GOD!”

His laughter indicated he got the reaction he wanted all along. It made her sick to her stomach to think about. The trek began shortly after without another word exchanged between them.

People. Lights. Music. Everything disorientated the drunk girl entirely. She made sure to keep her eyes on Thomas while navigating her way through the crowd, but every now and then she believed she spotted Jordan in the crowd and lost her focus. When that happened, Charlie continued to shove her forward. She was too tired to scold him. Besides, she knew that he was only doing that because he wanted Thomas’s approval.

“Where’s the car?” Her voice murmured as she nearly knocked into an innocent bystander. “Mmh…I don’t gotta nice knife on me…only this shitty pocket one.”

The back door opened. December air smacked against their faces as they stepped out onto the porch. Although it was so cold, Riley felt warmer and lighter than ever. The thought of killing this bitch became more prominent and exciting to the point she trembled a bit with each step. Bliss that overwhelmed her systems suddenly grew sour as Thomas turned to face her, clearly having some sort of ace up his sleeve. She was too drunk to care. All she wanted was to beat this girl’s ass for touching Jordan in ways Riley could never hope to.

“Okay, I’ll deal with the bodies after you’re done.” Thomas bubbled as the two of them started down the steps. It was only then that she noticed the other three guys weren't following along. It freaked her out a little but the alcohol in her system, again, drowned out the worries. “I mean, you’re gonna kill Jordan too, right?”

With a scoff, she flicked out the pocket knife. “No.”

That wasn’t the answer he was expecting. Raising an eyebrow and scanning the driveway area for her car, he pondered his thoughts out loud. “But he cheated on you and beat your ass. Don’t you think that's—?”

Sticking her index finger against his chest and getting in his face, she drunkenly blabbered. “Shut the hell up, Thomas! Having sex with some girl don’t mean shit! He still loves me! He still loves me...” Her voice trailed off as she desperately tried to convince herself that was the case. Thomas simply observed her behavior with a smug grin.

“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t and that’s okay. I have a client who’ll be more than willing to show you the love you deserve.”

Her eyes darted toward him and in that second, she almost saw the look of empathy on his face. However, as quickly as that expression came, it went. David snatched her up from behind and shoved a cloth drenched in chloroform across her mouth and nose, tightly gripping her so she couldn’t squirm away. Thomas had thought she was pretty before but with that horrified expression, she looked absolutely stunning.

“It’s okay, don’t fight it! David’s not a pervert or anything. Well, at least not toward girls—!”

“Shut the fuck up before I knock you out next...” David grumbled, knowing damn well she might be acquainted with Lucian. (Which was more or less the reason why he was being so gentle with her.)

With a harsh shove to the back, Riley found herself being throttled into the backseat of a beat-up car. Only then did she understand that this was all a set up. Jordan wasn’t out here at all. In fact, he was probably at home with a bitch he found at the party already. Tears welled in her eyes from the thought. Although, it didn’t do her any good to cry.

████████████████████

By the time Riley regained consciousness, she had forgotten what happened. She figured she was in her own bed, falling behind on making breakfast for her little brother. For that reason alone, she got up despite her rough hangover and began stumbling around the dimly lit room to get changed. She reached for her dresser only to see her reflection staring right back at her — A mirror.

But she didn’t have any mirrors in her room.

“You’re awake.”

Riley let out a sharp gasp and nearly collapsed onto the piece of furniture, trying to decipher the dark figure standing by the door. The sound of its lock sealing echoed throughout the room.

Her immediate response was to grab the pocket knife from her jacket. However, when her hand went to tuck itself away and search for it, she found that her jacket was missing. Not only that, but so were her pants and shoes. Her heartbeat rang throughout her eardrums.

“A-Are you scared?” The voice grew soft and shaky. All the fear that she felt once before became a bit muffled whenever hearing the silhouette’s tone. “D…Don’t be scared. I hope T-Thomas didn’t hurt you…” Approaching her, Riley finally saw his face.

“Or he’d be breaking the deal.”

Beyond confused, Riley’s shoulders drooped and her eyebrows furrowed. “Sam…? Sam, is that you?”

Sam, one of Riley’s only friends, stood before her. Grasping onto his sweater and swallowing against the lump in his throat, he nodded sheepishly. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s m…me.”

There was a brief pause. Sam’s mind spiraled in circles as he tried to muster out the words he wanted to assure her with. Even knowing that this could be Sam’s doing, Riley waited patiently for him to get out what he needed to say. And for that reason, he couldn’t help but feel more attracted to her.

“I-I want y-yuh…you to be m…” Clenching his eyes shut and lowering his head, he couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. “…my girlfriend! Please be my girlfriend, Riley!”

Her eyes widened like saucers. This was the first time she had ever received a confession like this. The only reason she and Jordan were dating was because she begged him to be her boyfriend. That’s why whenever she saw Sam like this, she couldn’t help but see herself.

“Sam…”

“I put poison in Jordan’s drink last night. He’s in critical condition at the hospital.” His voice went monotone, thick and dull. All emotion he once had completely drained away. “I’m the only one with the antidote. If you don’t break up with him I-I’ll let him fucking die. I’ll let him die, Riley, and he’s gonna hurt.”

Even when saying such horrible things, Riley was astonished by the glint of pure obsession embedded in his irises. He loved her. Even if they hardly spoke before this, even if this was the first time she truly locked eye contact with him, he loved her more than Jordan ever did.

“…Okay.”

“Wh…What?” Sam’s voice shook as he snapped out of his state of delusion. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. No, not even that — He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Riley was smiling ear to ear. She didn’t look hurt or upset or anything. Rather, she appeared to be in utter bliss from the threat. Laughter escaped her throat as she held herself tight. “Okay! I’ll break up with him and get with you. That’s fine. So, get the antidote to him.”

Blinking in utter disbelief, Sam took a step or two backward. “A-Are you ser—?”

“You have no idea how serious I am.” She hummed, closing her eyes and lowering her head. “I’d do anything for him. Anything at all. So if that means I have to break up with him to save him, I will. So, please. Please give him the antidote, Sam.”

That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Balling his hand into a fist instinctively, repulsion overwhelmed his system. “Do you really love him that much e-even after…all he’s done to you?”

“I do.” Riley murmured, almost ashamed. “Is that really such a bad thing? Everyone treats me like a whore because I let him do whatever he wants to me, but isn’t that what love is? To sacrifice and devote yourself to them? Wouldn’t you do the same?”

Sam blinked in disbelief for a moment or two before averting his gaze elsewhere. “I wouldn’t h-hit you, Rie.”

Those words sent a shock wave through her system. Even if he avoided her eyes, she stared through his soul and listened intently.

“I’d never hit you,” he continued while clenching at the ends of his sweater. “I’d never call you names, I’d n-never make you cry, I’d never abandon you, a…and I’d never let anyone hurt you! When was the last time he’s h…eld you, that he told you how p-p…pretty you are? Riley…Riley, that’s what love is!”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, although she wasn’t sure why. All she could do was laugh and wipe them away, knowing that what Sam had said was the truth. It hurt. But in the same breath, she was in pure bliss knowing that someone cared enough to answer her.

Wiping away her tears with the sleeve of his sweater, Sam leaned in close to her figure. “I want to show you th…that, Riley. Please let me treat you h-how he should’ve been treating you this entire t…ime.”

Riley couldn’t help but blush whenever he progressed toward her. If he kept it up, they’d be in kissing range sooner than later. She wasn’t opposed to the idea. Although, she was a bit nervous to be jumping from one man to the next.

Sparing a glance or two at his lips, she found her self control and took a step back. When seeing his stunned expression, he avoided his acid eyes at all costs. “Sam…”

Respecting her boundaries and laying off the pressure, he rewarded her with personal space and tried his hardest to keep the disappointment off his face. After all, he understood it wasn’t her fault. Jordan was the one to blame for her hesitance.

“Sorry. Sh-Sh…ouldn’t rush things.” Sam murmured, although his face told another story.

While she knew she wasn’t in danger, Riley couldn’t help but feel the heat against the back of her neck growing in size. Wanting to clarify her reasoning behind not indulging in his affection, she found herself stammering just as he does. “If Jordan ever found out…”

Jordan. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. That’s all she ever wanted to talk about. Had he really captivated her heart that much? There weren't any redeeming qualities Sam could pick out for a reason as to why Riley would care for him so dearly; He had an average face, a horrible attitude, and no sense of loyalty whatsoever. So, why? Why did Riley love him so much?

Lost in thought, Riley remained quiet. It wasn’t until Sam grasped her face and caressed the wound underneath her eye that she snapped out of the delusion.

“You deserve so much more than that, Riley. Don’t you get it?” His voice was gentle and reassuring. Despite knowing that he wasn’t going to hurt her, she still couldn’t help but flinch from his words. “I’m sure you don’t. That’s why I’ll…I’ll…I’ll teach you.”

“T-Teach me?”

“It’s not as scary as it sounds.” Sam chuckled, releasing her from his grasp and gazing at his shaky hands. “As long as you trust me.”

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Random Things 035/Dyo Says In His Sleep

Before we begin, for the record 035 on a humanoid body does sleep. He also says some strannge ass things while sleeping. As his 'brain' is anomalous, it gets weird. And now... Dyo's Greatest Hits.

"I'd like to thank the Academy, but you're a bunch of talentless hacks. Goodnight, and come up with an original idea for once."

"Doctor... is that a syringe in your hand, or are you happy to see me?"

"Banana? Honey, I'm the whole fruit stand."

"Roses? For me? You do care, 682!"

"I could totally pull off the seashell bra. I'll prove it." A pause. "On second thought... this damned thing is impractical and uncomfortable. And I kinda like pain."

"My queen, that wig is too much. And why make those poor canaries suffer in that dreadful mess?"

"What do we do every night? Try to break out of containment and take over the world. Do keep up, old chap."

"I'm sorry I said that loincloth makes your ass look big. Will you kindly stop hitting me with a fishing rod, 076-2?"

"Cargo shorts? Dr. Clef, you disappoint me."

"What do you mean, 'sarcasm and pessimism will not look good on your performance review'? I'm not even employed here."

"No, as tempting as naked yoga sounds, I just don't like you, Dr. Bright."

"Hey, hey, hey! Party Keter in the house, yo!" A brief pause. "Fine. I am never saying that again."

"Cactus Man! Cactus Man! Does everything a cactus can. Look out! Here comes the Cactus Man." A minute passes. "Please don't sue us."

"Okay, this is now serious. They brought lawyers."

"Those boots, with that skirt? Tres impractical, my dear."

"Hob and Morpheus are spot on, Shakespeare's a twink. And had legs like a anorexic chicken. Tights... did not flatter him in the least. The Plague Doctor can confirm."

"I met Madame Shelly, a rather charming young lady. Keen intellect, warm smile, and impeccable fashion sense. Not my type, but very lovely. She used to tell the best stories."

"Meh. 'Archeologist' is just the socially acceptable way of saying 'tomb raider' or 'grave robber' in my opinion. Even if what he found went to a museum, Indiana Jones still stole relics from various cultures and sold them for profit."

"You want me to wear clothes? Turn. On. The. Air. Conditioning. It's over 85 degrees in here, and so humid if I had hair it would frizz."

"Donut. It takes some stones to wear pink armor. You're a badass Spartan. Own. The. Armor! Flaunt it! Yeah! Pink and proud, baby!"

"Ooh! Look at the big, strong, scary SuperTyrant in his precious little fedora and trenchcoat. As dumb as this thing is... it's got style. It's a massive bullet sponge from bioweapon hell, but done with actual taste."

"Do I have to share with... HIM? But... he takes way too much. It's my pint of Genocide By Cacao, I stole it fair and square!"

"WHAT? Oh, sure... I spend WEEKS hand embroidering my costume, after cutting and sewing and wigmaking, doing Oscar worthy work, and no one cares. But! Slap some eyeliner on him, braid bloody golden rings and bells into his hair, and suddenly everybody wants to know if Khal Drogo is now in Foundation custody. I worked really hard on my Olenna Tyrell ensemble. Golden roses are complicated! Abel didn't even try! Iris did all the work, give HER the free pizza. This stupid 'Game of Thrones' costume contest is rigged!" Thirty seconds pass. "And that pizza is terrible and loaded with preservatives anyway."

In hindsight... whomever introduced Dyo to the works of George R. R. Martin...has made a grave mistake. At least it was entertaining.