#my dumb bisexual ass gets crushes easy

[billthedrake]

WINGMAN

I generally had a clean lifestyle, at least lately, but it was Mike Gelson's bachelor party, and we five dudes were partying it up in Nashville. I may have been doing my goody two-shoes Brendan Peters thing and getting club soda every few rounds, but my tolerance was down and I was getting good and truly wasted.

My best buddy James Carducci noticed, too. Like me, he was a big guy, a former tight end who carried a lot of muscle on his 6'5" frame, but unlike me he could hold his liquor.

"You gonna get laid tonight, Peters?" he growled in my ear as we entered the room we were sharing. "It's fun to see you let your hair down."

I gave him a scowl but knew he was just ribbing me. It's what buddies did. "Why can't we have the bachelor party in New York or something?"

Carducci knew what I meant. He plopped on one of the beds, his big frame taking up most of the double bed mattress. "Bro, you could have all the gay dudes around you and you'd still be too fuckin' picky."

I lay down on the other bed, looking over at my best friend. We'd both moved to the same city after graduation. Coming out had been a big messy process for me, and James had been the most supportive of my college friends. He was enthusiastically bisexual - not advertising it or anything, but we quickly realized we could switch from teammate-buddies to guy talk and back.

Still, we were opposites in a lot of ways. "Dude... it's easy for you. You just want to get your dick wet."

We'd had versions of this conversation before. He grinned. "Bro, maybe you should get your dick wet for a change. It'd keep you from being a cranky bitch." Yeah, Carducci could get away saying stuff to me no one else could. Then turning his meaty body on his side, he looked right at me. "I get it, Peters. But maybe while you wait for Mr. Right, you can have some fun. I mean, Kevin Murphy's not gonna suck your cock."

"What the fuck?!" I played dumb. Kevin had been the kicker on our D1 team and was Mike Gelson's best man. He was my type to a T... shorter than me and leaner, boy-next-door cute, tight body and a bubble ass.

James lay back again and put his arms around his back, arms knotted and pumped. If I was into big dudes like myself, there might be sexual tension between us. "Bro, it's all over your face. Remember, I know your fuckin' type."

"C'mon, JC," I pleaded, using my nickname for him.

He grinned. "Don't worry, Peters, I'm not gonna say anything to anyone. You know that. Crush out on Murphy all you want. You're just barking up the wrong tree."

"Yeah," I sighed. "It's majorly against the bro code." I was starting to get resentful of how being a horny gay dude and an ex-jock living by the bro code were not exactly compatible.

That got a deep laugh from JC. "So's fucking your buddy's dad."

I sat up, the alcohol and quick movement making my head dizzy. "What?!?!" Normally I'd write off the comment as Carducci being a jokester but the way his words came out made them seem real.

He now sat up and reached down to paw at his crotch to rearrange his junk. "This stays between us," he warned.

"Scouts honor, man," I replied.

My friend got a wild look on his face and a leer as he said, "I banged Gelson's dad."

"Mike Gelson," I clarified. "The fucking groom."

He seemed annoyed. "What other Gelsons do you know, dumbass? Yeah, Mike Gelson's father. It was a couple of years ago, when Mike invited a couple of us to his family's lake house." James was closer to Gelson than I was, which only made what he was describing seme more transgressive.

"Dude, isn't Mr. Gelson like 45?" I'd briefly met the man once but he didn't make too much an impression on me, I guess.

Carducci leered. "He was 50 then, and it was fucking glorious. A whole week, both of us enjoying sneaking around." I knew JC had a bit of a kink for married men. We didn't overshare, but I'd very occasionally hear about a hookup or, more often, I'd unload about a date that didn't go like I wanted.

I had to rib him now. "What, you going for the daddies now, JC?"

Without missing a beat, he looked at me with his brown eyes. "Abso-fucking-lutely, Peters. Exclusively even. You should try an older dude for a change."

I didn't think I was easily shocked but the turn of the conversation had indeed rattled me. I went silent before I said quietly, "Man, I couldn't date a guy my dad's age. What the fuck?"

He laughed. "Dude, who's talking about dating? You're a hot fucking dude, you should be having sex nonstop... " He paused. "Can I be honest, bro?"

I nodded, bracing myself for the barrage of criticism. But this was Carducci, I knew he was looking after me.

"Well," James started. "You always go for the unavailable ones like Murphy, or for the stuck up ones who think they're the shit for having an Insta following." For all of our odd-couple conversations, Carducci had never spelled it out for me quite like this. But he was totally right. "I dunno, maybe you should go outside your type just to see. There are so many daddies out there who'd be so fucking appreciative to make it with a guy like you.... You could use the ego boost, bro."

I thought it over. "Is that what older guys are to you?" I asked. "An ego boost?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I have a pretty massive ego already, bro, I don't need help with that. I just love sex with an older guy." I watched as he pulled a spare pillow down to cover his crotch. I knew why: Carducci was boning up talking about sex, and while we shared a lot there still was the bro code between us. "Some of em have a wild side, like a drunk sorority chick."

I shook my head. "Jesus, JC."

I knew the alcohol was getting us both to open up to this conversation. "It's not like that, Peters. I mean, you know you're with a dude, a real masculine dude at that. But there's that wild, naughty streak beneath the surface. I fucking love it."

He reached over and picked up his phone.

"What? Are you gonna show me a picture of one of your conquests?" I asked.

He looked up and winked. "Perv. No, bro, I'm lining up a blowjob. There's gotta be a horny daddy staying in this hotel."

I blushed. "You serious?"

"Sure, I'm serious," he said, now not taking his eyes off the app as he scrolled through. "Jesus you can be such a fucking prude."

I lay back, feeling insulted but mostly angry that he was right. I'd set up a Grindr profile and used it some but then swore it off over the last year. "Well, you're not bringing him back here," I said.

JC now looked up. "Like I said. Cranky bitch." There was teasing sure, but I think I'd actually pissed off my buddy. I almost apologized but I was stubborn.

Anyway, he was now getting off the bed and putting his shoes back on.

"Already?" I asked with astonishment. JC hadn't been on that app much longer than five minutes.

He laughed. "What can I say, bro?" He smiled. "Daddy wants this..." he used his hand to gesture to his tall muscular body. "I'm in Nashville, I'm gonna have a little fucking fun." He had his phone and key card and seemed good to go. "You should too, Peters. For real."

I didn't say anything but I gave a look that was my attempt at an "I'll think about it."

And like that, I watched my best friend leave our room.

***

The lamplight was still on when I woke up. I'd conked out in my drunkenness. I was massively hungover but I always wake up pretty quickly. Light was coming in and the clock said a little after 8.

Carducci's bed was still made and still empty. The fucker.

I got up and pissed and popped a couple of aspirin, hoping they'd help. My head pounded. And we still had another night of this fucking bachelor party weekend. I wondered if these dudes would want to come to mine when the time came. Hell, I wondered if I'd have one.

I brushed my teeth to get the stale beer taste out of my mouth. My hair was mussed up and I did my best to comb it down.

Fifteen minutes later, after a trip to the lobby to get some coffee, I was feeling more alive. Hungover still, but better. I didn't feel like eating anything, but the aspirin was helping.

I picked up my phone. I'd uninstalled Grindr but it was easy enough to re-install it. It took me a second to remember my login, but I used one of my common passwords. One of these days, I'd need to choose something more secure for my shit.

There were some hot guys in Nashville, but I'd gotten spoiled by the city I lived in now. There was a certain type I was seeing here - either bigger, beefier guys, or else younger thinner twinks. My type was always in between that. I wanted more Dierks Bentley and was seeing a lot more Garth Brooks types, even among the 20-somethings.

I'd been replaying my conversation with JC in my head. He could bust my balls, and maybe in a way I didn't like. But I told myself, I'd give this a try. I changed my profile language to make it less picky and judgmental and adjusted my looking-for age range.

It was early and I didn't see any hits in this hotel, but there was a good looking older guy in the hotel on the next block. Kind of average looking, balding hair, 49yo, but his pics showed off a very fit body, lightly hairy, probably trimmed. Looking for now. If I had to make it with an older dude, this was probably as good a match as any. I'd focus on his body if need be.

"Hey," I typed in a chat. "You're up early."

"Hi man." Then. "This is early?"

"In Nashville it is," I replied back.

"True, ha."

I was never great with the quick hookup thing, but one thing I'd mastered was the art of messaging. Some guys were too direct, not flirty enough, but some guys were too passive and conversational. My style didn't work with everyone, but it was working now, I knew.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"Business. I thought I'd tack on an extra day for fun. And you?"

"Bachelor party."

"Of course, ha." Then, he added. "You're quite the hunk."

"Thanks man," I typed. "You're hot, too." I wasn't sure how much I thought that. It's not that he wasn't hot, because he was in a way. But in my fucked up way, I knew he wasn't Brendan Peters-worthy hot. Not in my league. But I tried to embrace the Carducci way. "You say you bottom, right?" His profile had read vers-bottom.

"Yep. You wanting to fuck?"

After my conversation with JC, I'd initially been thinking of a blowjob. Baby steps. Something to take the edge off. But now I realized it had been WAY too long since I'd fucked a guy. "God yeah. You able to host?"

"If you can give me fifteen minutes."

I pawed my crotch now. I was getting boned good. "Make it twenty?" I wanted to shower up.

"Sounds good, man."

***

The profile had sold the guy short. He didn't look hotter than his pictures but as he ushered me in, he had a deep sexy voice. Almost gravely, with a New York accent. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and I could see how dense his muscle was on a frame that was about 6 inches shorter than mine.

"Looks like I hit the jackpot, huh?" he smiled. Then as his eyes swept up to my face, he added, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna gush. You know you're smoking hot."

OK, maybe JC was right, I could get used to the ego pump. With a grin I stepped up to the guy and wrapped my arms around his naked torso, drawing him in.

"I wasn't sure..." he started to say in his deep voice befor I cut him off with a kiss.

He was a good kisser. This was a hookup, just a hookup, and our making out wasn't romantic, but I really enjoyed this part of sex, and this man knew how to respond to my groove. His hands felt up my chest as he did his best to match my tongue work.

Maybe it had been so long since I'd had sex, but the feel of his bare skin and hard back muscle under my fingers had me rock hard. This guy wasn't my type, but he was masculine and real and he wanted me. I pulled off his towel and broke the kiss so I could reach down and paw at his thick ass. It wasn't a young bubble ass, it wasn't Kevin Murphy's kicker's ass, but this man went to the gym regularly and had for years.

"Yess.." he hissed.

I kneaded his ass for a minute longer then stepped back, in full ready to fuck mode. As I reached down and started undoing my shorts and kicking off my shoes, my trick looked at me with horny anticipation, his daddy dick hard and leaking, a solid six-incher that stood out from his trimmed but hairy crotch.

"I guess we didn't talk about specifics," he said, stepping back to the bed. "You a missionary or doggy position kind of guy?"

God, this was 180 degrees from my normal Grindr experience. I always met freaks who'd get real porny and weird, or I met guys who were bossy about their needs. This man had a fun laid-back vibe, even as we were getting to brass tacks.

Usually my answer would be missionary. "Doggy," I leered, letting my thick long cock fall out as I pushed my underwear down.

"Fuck," the daddy hissed. "You didn't exaggerate the measurements. Take it a little easy at first, then I'm good to go." I watched as he got onto the bed, on all fours. It was clearly the body of a man in his late 40s, but I was going to enjoy it all the same.

I got up on after him, letting the mattress sink with my weight. I'd hit almost 240 in college ball, and while I'd leaned down a little since then, I still was 230 pounds of tall muscle.

I remember one time I'd started eating out some model looking guy I'd hooked up with and he about freaked out, telling me he wasn't into getting rim. But as I kissed along this man's lightly furred ass cheeks, one side then the other, he spread his legs in an unmistakeable green light. I dove in and licked.

Fuck, this daddy loved it. I thought about what JC said. Masculine dudes with that drunk sorority chick worthy wild streak. He was some regular guy on business, and he was enjoying me eating him out and munching wildly at his clean pucker.

"Holy fuck, dude!" he growled, the deep voice making his words seem more sexual. "Eat my fucking hole."

I did. I wasn't even expecting an extended rim session for this. I almost thought it would be a pump and go, but I now rode the experience, gripping his cheeks, pulling them apart and tongue fucking this man who indeed was old enough to be my father.

I could have kept at it, too, but I needed to fuck. I leaned up, wiped off the spit from my chin and reached down to wet my cock.

"There's lube and condoms," he said, nodding to the night stand. "I'm on PREP so do what you want, man." Again, that deep voice had my balls twitching.

I slathered on some lube and lined up my bare prick. Daddy was gonna get raw dogged. I gave a two-mississippi pause then pushed to enter him.

There was some snugness at the ring but otherwise no real resistance. I popped in, making the man grunt a little, but he braced his upper body, took a deep breath, then nodded. I pushed my way all the way in, deep into his hot tightness. I forgot how amazing a good fuck felt. Bottoming out, I gripped his waist and began a slow pump.

"Jesus, you're a big boy," he grunted, excitement in his voice.

"6-four," I teased, now fucking him with firmer strokes.

"I meant your cock," the daddy said.

"I know," I hissed. "You're taking that big dick."

"Christ, man," he replied. "Fuck me! Fuck me big guy!"

I did. Getting more and more into it. I was enjoying this position of holding his waist and using that leverage to pull his leaner muscular build onto my hard pistoning cock as much as I was pushing into him. But as I got more excited and more into the mounting pleasure, I felt a need for something more animalistic. Leaning forward, I covered his back with my muscular chest and torso and just started hammering him with hard short strokes.

"Oh fuck oh fuck," he hissed. Loving it, but feeling the challenge of taking me that way, given my strength.

It wouldn't take long though. I now supported my weight with one arm while the other one wrapped around him, pulling his hard body next to mine for maximum contact and steady penetration.

He too was braced on one hand now while the jerked off to my inward strokes.

He came a second before me, but it was a photo finish. I let out a deep heavy growl and enjoyed the most amazing orgasm I'd had in a LONG time.

He finally withdrew his hand and let my weight push him down into a flat lying position.

"Am I too heavy?" I asked as I kissed his neck softly. I didn't want to pull out just yet, the aftershocks felt pretty amazing.

"I'm good," came that deep voice. "I like it, actually."

I kissed him more, along his neck. It's a weird thing of mine. Some guys lose interest after getting their nut, but I get in a real romantic headspace after cumming. It's freaked some men out.

Daddy picked up on it. "I thought you'd be a fuck and go kind of guy," he said with a soft laugh.

"Sorry," I said, pushing myself up off him some.

"Don't apologize, it's nice."

I ran my hand along the man's arm. Strong, not as big as mine, but there's something about an older man that meant more seasoned muscle. "I know this is just a hookup," I said. "I just like talking with a guy I have sex with. I'm weird, I guess."

He got quiet, but his reply felt calm and measured. "We can grab brunch if you like. I can learn more about the guy who just gave me the fuck of my life."

"Yeah," I said.

Now as we uncoupled and rinsed off in the bathroom before getting dressed again, I was having second doubts, and maybe I was leading him on too much. I absolutely didn't want anything serious with this guy. After today, I'd probably half forget him. This was just my hormones talking.

He seemed to read me. "You OK, man?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He gave me an empathetic look. "Don't worry, I know I'm just a piece of tail to you. But I'm starving... why don't we get a bite and then you can get back to your bachelor party duties?"

I smiled. "Sounds good," I said. I stepped up and kissed him, softly. Wrapping my arms around his waist and enjoying the height difference.

"My name's Curt," he said.

"Brendan," I said.

[dolladooley]

the dooley davenports x black!reader | general hcs

contains: adam, bree, chase, leo

a/n: this will get zero notes but idc i am pioneering ts for lab rats. gif credit goes to him (me. bc i am him.) 💯

adam

i have always been very loud about my belief that adam marries a black woman or man in the future

and i mean LOUD

he 100% does

the first time he meets u he's like woah

prettay

he likes watching how your hair bounces as you descend the stairs or even just walking on flat ground

he likes how u speak to him

you call everyone lil nicknames so whenever u say "baby" he's like 😃

u help him with school stuff

bc you smart 💯

okayyyy scholar 😍😍😍

sorry

anyway

he loves seeing u

you anchor him

keep him from doing ridiculous shit that can get him hurt yk

turn into ur mom fr

he fidgets with his fingers a lot so he be playing in your hair

gently pulling strands so they spring back and wrapping em around his finger (ESPECIALLY when they're freshly moisturized and wet)

y'all are just saur cute to see

he's a big hugger so he rests his cheek against ur head and ur lil curls tickle him

and bonus points if you're significantly shorter than him

it's an adorable image when u hold hands

bc ur this lil person that is clearly able to easily escape restraint and u got ur tall white boy that's a lil dumb but happy to be here with u nonetheless

i love adam lawd

bree

bisexual queen

anyway

u guys become friends very quick

she complimented ur jewelry (a lil gold necklace) and u were like "aw thanks gang"

and from that u sparked a conversation and became very good friends very fast

she introduced u to her brothers, allat

u guys meet in the library every morning or u go to the nearby coffee shop before school starts

get some polite lil drinks and just.. talk :)

if you guys were to pack ur own lunches every day, y'all would do snack trades a lot

you defend her a lot against her brothers 💀

the first time you said "boy shut up" to chase she got hearts in her eyes fr /hj

when she realizes she might have a lil crush, she doesn't act too strange but she is a little bit different

she hugs for a little longer than normal, just to enjoy the scent of ur moisturizer and ur hair products

when y'all have sleepovers she always cuddles close

she loves to cook with u

u show her recipes you got from ya mama and she enjoys them every time

she stares at ur lips when u eat

and talk

and

do anything at all

they are very kissable what can she say

chase

lord.

he's infatuated

INFATUATED

he only knew leo so he had no idea black ppl could be so fine /j

the first time he sees you, a little notification in his eyebawl goes off like "heartrate rising. entering cooldown." and it's SO LOUD to him

turns out you and leo are already friends

which is NOT helpful

because now whenever you're at the house he's frantic as hell

either trying to interact with you (extremely awkwardly) or hiding in the lab so he doesn't embarrass himself further

bree would come down like "just go talk to them loser" and he's like "I CAN'T 😭😭😭😭😭😭"

when she finally forces him to quit being a punk and at least say hi, he comes upstairs to see u looking out at the view

the sun shining through their big ass windows glows gold on your skin and to him you look like a god

he flees /hj

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO ACT

he eventually pulls himself together and soon feels like a fool

because talking to you is SO EASY ?

you exude a charm he has never seen heard or experienced from anyone else before

the way u speak to him makes him melt

that being said never call him a pet name

ever

a simple "sugar" or even just "baby" will make him overheat and shut down

leo

i'm already laffing

y'all are funny as SHIT

you were classmates before the davenports came in but you weren't really friends until after they did

you helped leo show them around the school and the two of you cracked plenty of jokes along the tour

many that the bionic trio did not understand LMFAOO

you two are so fun together and everyone can see it, even the trio who be fighting for they lives whenever y'all are speaking to each other /j

leo probably tells u ab the whole bionic secret after you witness one too many close calls and the way you handle it makes his baby crush grow exponentially

like YOURE SO COOL???? DIDNT EVEN BLINK AT THIS ABSURD ASS PIECE OF INFORMATION???? GOD THEYRE COOL AS FUCK

you guys share hair information and you bring home hotel shampoo's for y'all to share LMFAO

he let you give him waves once

it was comedic

tasha loves you

she didn't know you for a while because leo never brought you up when y'all were just classmates but after y'all became actual friends, you'd get mentioned here and there

the first time he has you come over is to work on a school project

she meets you and is like omg hai i'm leo's mom

and he's kinda like 😐 pushing her away like he did in the avalanche episode with janelle LMFAO

you like "why you so mean to yo mama" and it makes him sweat /j

you like tasha too and you guys often have tea together when leo is late for y'all's lil hangouts

she gasses you up to leo all the time like he didn't know you first

"your friend, [name]? they're cute!!!" "i know mom" "go ahead and ask that out" "MOM"

he eventually does (it was actually you but he tells tasha it was him)

[cheshireartist]

That moment when u see a cosplayer in full cosplay and think "They're cute omg" and then u see them out of cosplay and r all like "Oh no they're still so fucking cute ;;; v ;;;"

I can't handle it y'all.

[phlox238]

here, take my lake and jesse (also sometimes nate) headcanons

this is just me putting down whatever comes to mind when i think of these 3 idiots, it doesn't really tie together at all

it's mostly of lake sjfjskfk, and im probably gonna keep adding onto this as stuff comes to mind

lake is nonbinary, no questions asked. i hc her as a she/they nonbinary because y'all don't get enough rep akfndkfm

i like to think jesse is pansexual and lake is bisexual

in school, lake is the quiet kid that you're very intimidated of, but when you get to know her she's like the best friend ever. they'll beat your ass if you so much as touch one of her friends

lake almost exclusively wears cargo pants and ripped t-shirts/hoodies with boots. but one time, they wore a corset and jesse almost fucking died

jesse usually tries to get them to hang out with his friends, and at first she wasn't too into it, but eventually they've just become part of the group and they all hang out a lot (NOT jesse's shitty friends though)

i saw someone else say this and i had to include it: lake can eat almost anything, so jesse dares her to eat various not-food things. one time they ate a glass bottle

whenever she wants a haircut, lake steals (borrow) jesse's dad's sander and go to town, usually jesse helps style her hair. more often than not it's short. her hair is kinda like rlly thin wires, so it's easy to style, but brushes don't rlly work

for a while after getting off the train she still has a fear of reflective surfaces, they try to hide it but ofc jesse notices and he helps her through it

lake, jesse and nate LOVE minecraft, they play it together often and watch a lot of minecraft videos

lake really likes going out at night, and sometimes they wake up in the middle of the night and gets jesse to sneak out to take a walk or whatever other trouble they could get up to. jesse never really wants to bc sleep is good but he enjoys spending time with lake so he goes anyway

a couple years after the train nate comes out as gay and they're so fucking supportive of him :))

every time someone asks why lake is made of metal, they give a different explanation. ("i was grown in a lab" "why are you not made of metal?" "its uhh...LARPing..." "i'm not made of metal, what do you mean?")

lake likes to draw and paint sometimes !! and she always gets jesse to do it with them, they like to paint landscapes

jesse tried to help them swim one time by attaching as many floaty things as he could to her, and it kinda worked, but it takes so much work that they don't to it much

since jesse had actual proof of the train (lake and the pictures he took in the train) it was MUCH easier to explain it to his parents, although it took him ages to explain it because his parents were very confused

in that moment where they both got off the train finally and when lake chooses her name, them and jesse hug :)

when jesse gets a car, he buys a deer hood ornament bc of alan dracula

lake and jesse are like. really dumb. and when they're together (which is most of the time) their dumbness combines

im pretty sure owen said that lake doesn't grow as she ages but !! in my brain they do >:(

at some point they meet tulip, not sure why or how but they do and they basically become siblings

there wasn't really a big moment where lake and jesse confessed their crushes on each other, it was just kinda just gradual as they got older. they slowly started being more and more affectionate with each other as the years passed, and one night on one of their little escapades lake decided to kiss jesse out of nowhere. from then on, they were partners (in crime)

this won't leave my brain...jesse is a bottom,,

take one good look at lake and tell me they don't exude MAJOR top energy

i don't know how that ^ would work and im not gonna think about it

lake comes to all of jesse's swim meets where he does the things HE enjoys and shes just like *proud partner noises*

they cuddle w/ each other at night but lake has a tendency to spread out all over the bed and like. jesse gets trapped under her heavy ass limbs sometimes

that's all for now

[ffamranxii]

Hello! Here from Ao3 :) (@bokashi is my side blog)

As mentioned in a comment on your iwaoi story, which ships do you see as legitimately being canon? (a link for the silly geese who haven't read it yet)

For me, I honestly think bokuaka could be canon (we just need the confirmation </3). But for like iwaoi (I get really intense friendship vibes, but like so unabashedly proud and happy to be friends with the other person in canon) or kuroken (maybe like a heather situation, where one of them is in love, but the other isn't; but also, they really teeter on the edge for me) or other ships (I could go on forever), it's a bit more up in the air for me. I indulge and thoroughly enjoy all ship content, but I try to separate the two worlds of fandom and canon too.

I also think it's really easy to enjoy shipping. They're fictional men (thinking manga timeskip here), so it's kind of hard to self-ship (for me), but I want them to be happy in the romance department. Plus, when there are so few women and non-binary people in the show, naturally that shipping is gonna happen between *the bois*. (Although, based on all of the content we get, even with women, I'd still ship them all with their teammates.)

So yeah, I'm really curious about your thoughts on this jumbled mess about shipping and canon vs fanon, etc! Really enjoying your content, thanks for replying to my comments! :)

Hiiiii! Ffamran is a sideblog too, I followed bokashi on my hiatused chibimonkey main.

So tbh, given Japan’s general stance on homosexuality *side eye intensifies* I’d have to say regretfully nobody could be legitimately canon except Tanaka/Kiyoko the token heteroship. HOWEVER, some mangaka (looking at you, CLAMP and Yamaguchi Tsubasa!) dgaf about heteronorms and have written gorgeous and CANON LGBTQ+ characters, so it’s within the realm of possibility that Furudate-sensei intended some of her characters to be gay and maybe her editor or the magazine said “uh, fuck no?” because, I mean, have you READ the manga? Some of it’s pretty fucking gay.

My top 5 ships are the ones I could most likely see being canon: daisuga, iwaoi, kuroken, asanoya, and bokuaka. I’d also add kagehina to that. The evidence is just THERE.

Daichi and Suga are VERY close. They’re always shown together, were introduced together, have been referred to by Furudate-sensei as Karasuno’s parents, Daichi talks Suga up a ton, Suga is very physical with Daichi especially, etc etc. In one panel of the manga, Suga is literally slapping Daichi’s ass. (Under the #ffamran reads manga tag.) Like what? But they’re also the least in your face on this list.

Asanoya is just... a lot of what daisuga is but more obvious. Also introduced as a duo, usually around each other, physical, etc. Noya ONLY sets for Asahi (though once in the anime he set for Tanaka) - that’s HUGE. He learned to do this crazy fucking technique all to better ASAHI. He refuses to play without Asahi. At the very least, Noya is bisexual and has a thing for Asahi. PLUS they travel the GODDAMN WORLD together at the end of the manga.

Iwaoi might as well be official. There’s the whole Iwaizumi milk bread thing (like SERIOUSLY, how much more do you NEED?), the nicknames/name-calling/teasing, the constant touching, the complete trust and connection. Oikawa relies overtly on Iwa, and Iwa is constantly checking on and reassuring him. These two blatantly love each other.

Kuroken is another where at least one of them has a thing for the other. Kuroo is SMITTEN with Kenma. He’s constantly taking care of him, checking on him, monitoring his comfort. When he, Kai, and Yaku are discussing Kenma, Kuroo’s face is just so in LOVE with this fucking boy. Kenma is up in the air - he’s not as expressive as Kuroo, or as emotional. He keeps his feelings firmly inside. But I’d say it’s safe to assume he cares very deeply for Kuroo and loves him, and it’s a 50/50 toss up if it’s romantic love.

Bokuaka. Bro. At first I was gonna say “ehhhhh, it’s probably wishful thinking on our part,” but then I remembered: Akaashi decided to attend Fukurodani SOLELY because he saw Bokuto play. Bokuto honed the fuck in on him the day they met and basically staked his claim. These two embody the love at first sight trope and they are comfortably settled in a serious relationship. Why else does Akaashi know him so well, and vice versa? Akaashi made and MEMORIZED a list of Bokuto’s weaknesses, and knows exactly how to get him out of every slump, and Bokuto is intrinsically aware of when Akaashi’s at his limit, and pushes past his own weaknesses to support him at that time. Out of everyone, these two are the most likely to have started their relationship before the manga.

Kagehina. I watched the first episode (I saw the anime before I read the manga) and I distinctly remember my overall impression was “these two are gonna fuck, aren’t they?” They’re dumb. They’re SO fucking dumb, and I respect Furudate-sensei SO MUCH for making both her protagonists stupid as fuck. These two would be a vicious slow burn. They don’t get together during the manga. They’re too busy competing with each other. Their flirting is competition. They’re SO into each other beyond a normal friendly rivalry but they both think it’s just a friendly rivalry because they’re SO DUMB.

Honorable mention to Tsukiyama, because while these two are easy to write off as just good friends, there are very subtle hints that they may be more than, the biggest being Tsukki’s distaste if anyone but Yamaguchi calling him Tsukki (and Yamaguchi hates when other people say it too) and their “tough love” type of support for each other. They seem to be a very private couple, if they were intended as such.

Also: Yachi. Yachi is CLEARLY a lesbian.

It could also be argued that Ushiten was hinted at being canon, since Tendou clearly loves Ushiwaka. It’s not a ship I like but I very easily see why it’s a popular ship. I think I posted about it before somewhere, but the tl;dr of it is Tendou is ALL OVER Ushiwaka. Supports him 1000% in the face of anyone and everyone, clings to him (not physically, but like... emotionally?) at school, and just everything he does is FOR Ushiwaka. Like, did Ushiwaka even have friends before Tendou started talking to him? And Ushiwaka softens around Tendou, becomes more human and likeable. He doesn’t act that way around anyone else. They might just be the bromance to end all bromances, or one of them has a crush, or maybe they do love each other - their relationship is ambiguous in that regard. But I will add: Ushiwaka did fly all the way to France to see Tendou, and I don’t see anyone else (except Asanoya) making worldwide trips for each other.

[fandomblr]

Love this asks and Iove hearing about your stories and OCs let's see: 1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 16 I'm still thinking about mine because I really want your opinion on them

Omg thank you so much, and yes, please do take your time! I’ve been writing this OC for eight years so these questions are easy for me to answer, but please take your time!

Alright so today I’m gonna focus on one of the main characters in the novel that I am trying to publish, her name is Florencia Coronado Quijano and in the first novel I’m writing rn she is a seventeen-year-old first gen Mexican-American immigrant, she’s also demi-bisexual and a demigirl. Just for reference, here are some piccrews I made of her (the first one is by far the most accurate):

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 

Her appearance for sure. I always knew I wanted a strong main female character that defied the ‘dumb curvy blonde girl’ stereotype, and although Florencia isn’t 100% a blonde (she has natural blonde streaks on her dark brown wavy/curly hair) she is still heavily stereotyped as a Latina so I wanted to mess with that ‘angry loud Latina’ cliche. Although originally I wrote her as a white girl, (13 year old Adrián was white-washed and so were his OCs), later I realized that she is a Latina at heart and since I’m Mexican, so is she so she’s an outlet for me to express my culture as a Mexican American.

3. How did you choose their name?

Whitewashed Florencia’s name was Florence, so I just added a bit of ✨Hispanic spice✨ to it. The name in itself was just totally random, but looking back at it I think Florencia really suits her as a name, especially how she uses Flor as a nickname.

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color? 

So glad you asked, yes! So she is actually mixed, her mother was an indigenous Mexican woman, but her father is Lugh, Irish god of arts and crafts and a solar warrior god. She gets much of her prowess as a warrior from her half-blood status, which technically makes her a demigod. She takes after her mother in terms of physical appearance (brown skin, dark hair save her blonde streaks that she gets from Lugh, dark eyes), but the blonde in her hair is reminiscent of Lugh’s golden hair since he is a sun god.

7. Is there any significance behind their height? 

Uh, she’s 5’1 and I’m 5’2 but uh... short queen representation for all my fellow smol Latinx people out there???? Other than that, I’m afraid not.

9. Are they based off of you, in some way? 

Back when I wrote her no, she was not intended to be like me. But looking back at it she definitely is an idealized version of who I wanted to be as a Latinx femme. She is feminine and even androgynous sometimes but not afraid to let that define her and doesn’t let her weight (she’s plus-size and considered fat by most thin people) define her either. She can and will kick your ass in battle, has an incredible Mexicanized sense of humor, and is loyal to a fault and would happily die for any of her friends. She was everything I wanted to be back then, and even now that I know I’m a guy I still want to have her bravery, her strength, her valor, her loyalty, and her fearlessness. I think she is the positive Latina rep that I always internally craved when I thought I was a Latina (spoiler alert: I never was because I was never female, never a woman, even if I presented femme.)

11. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? 

Yes and no. When 13 year old Adrián wrote her she was a cishet white woman, but looking back at it she has always been inherently queer, especially with her relationship with Jin (another female OC who is a lesbian) and how she has a massive crush on her in most of the first draft of my book.

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? 

The furthest I go is in my short story Under the Same Stars that I turned in for my creative writing workshop class, and she is 13 in that story but there are flashbacks that go back to her earlier childhood.

15. What is something about your OC that can make you laugh? 

She uses Mexican slang constantly so if you’re Mexican the book is guaranteed to at the very least make you smile, and the very most make you crack up. She’s also really humorous in English too.

16. What is something about your OC that can make you cry? 

When she emigrated to the US she was sent to an ICE concentration camp and was separated from her legal guardian (her uncle who died by the time she was released) that’s the whole story in Under the Same Stars (if anyone wants to read it let me know and I’ll DM it and maybe even post it on here) and I got a B+ for the final story cause my professor may or may not have been lowkey racist but hey, I live in Texas so nothing new here :))))

[jay-m3]

Death Note x Male Reader

Warning: read at your own risk. Will contain smut, manipulation, homophobia and so much more.

The class is so boring! I already know English, ugh… You sighed, watching as the teacher goes on and on about God. You look at the book in front of you and trace over the letters to keep you busy. “Listen to the voice of God then follow it and know that in time you will find your salvation.” The teacher reads the line that you're tracing. If God was real...will people change their behavior? You thought, shrugging your shoulders. You’ll find out once you're dead. “Yagami, are you still with us?” You look over your shoulder to see your best friend being called out. “Can you please translate the following sentence into English.” You cover your mouth to hide your snort and quickly look back to the book, not wanting to be called out. Light is smart, no question asked but sometimes you always see him in la-la land these past couple of months. He might be going through the stage like every teen has where they are stressed and anxious about what to do next with their lives since this is their last year here in this dump. Like you! Your anxiety has risen since you don’t know what can come next and if you can make it in this cruel twisted world but thankfully, Light has got your back and has been helping you sort out your life. 

You want to do that too with Light but...he never lets you in. Even if you were best friends since kids, it’s hard to get the boy to talk about his feelings. You know that it isn’t the ‘what’s next in life’ since you know that he wants to be like his dad in joining the police. If it’s not that then what’s bothering him? Is it about his sexuality? He came out to you three months ago that he’s bisexual. It’s hard to accept your true self and sometimes figuring out what you like and are is very difficult. Nothing is easy. Hell, when you came out to Light a year ago, you thought that you were Pan or bi. It’s been rough but you finally know that you’re gay. It’s hard when you came out to Light but you put your trust in him and now you're glad you did since he was accepting and he also came out to you! 

___

“What is that big brain of yours thinking about?” You gave your toothy smile at the tall brown-haired boy. “Huh? Oh nothing, just hungry.” Light smiles at you, his hand rubs his stomach. You nod your head and point at him. “You got it! I’ll buy us something in the cafeteria then, be right back.” You take out your wallet and start to make your way to the cafeteria. You will do anything in your power to make him happy as much as he makes you happy. Quickly getting the food you run to Light who puts something in his bag. “Hey, whatcha got there?” “That was fast, (Y/N).” He says grabbing the chips and water bottle that you got for him. “Hey, don’t distract me. I see you be sneaky and I want in! Is it money?” You both make your way out of the school gates. “Oh, I just found a notebook. Nothing special.” “Bet. Must be someone’s dairy...is it mine?” Light laughs at your joke and shakes his head. “I’ll show you when we get to my house.”

___

“You should start learning how to drive Light. I can’t be your taxi all the time.” You lock your car once Light and yourself get out. “Not my fault you turned 18 first.” ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t sweat it. It’s probably the one thing that I can beat you with, Mr. smartass.” You both walk into the Yagami household. “I’m home!” Light calls out. Both of you head to Light’s room and you shut the door and look over to Light to see him take out a notebook with ‘Death Note’ written across it. “Okay, that’s something else.” You say sitting down on his neat clean bed. “Yeah, wait till you know what it says inside of it.”

“...if someone does write a name in that book, does that make them a murderer?” You ask rereading the text carefully, flipping the pages. “No way. Either way, it’s probably a dumb prank.” You nod, giving back the cool looking notebook and grab your bag. “Welp, I gotta go home. I have to be there before my mom chews me out for not taking out the trash this morning.” You say, giving Light a hug. 

___

“Tell your family I said hi.” You called out to Light who nods and closes your car’s door. You watch him get inside and start making your way to your work. It’s nothing special but you love it since it's self employed and you love the outdoors. You get out of your car and park it and make your way to a customer’s front door. Knocking, you can hear a dog barking inside and the owner trying to shush it. You smooth down your shirt when the door opens and you see a female with a German Shepherd on a leash. “Hi, here is Lady and I’ll pay you once you return her like always.” She smiles and gives you the leash. “Like always.” You repeat and start making your way to the next house. Being a dog walker has it’s up and down like any other job. But being around the animals gives you peace and watching people go up to you to ask if they can pet them always brings a smile to your face. It’s nice having human interactions other than your family and the Yagami family. Having six dogs always overwhelms you but it gets you paid well. Stopping in front of a shop that has TV's stacked on each other with sound. You unzip your bag and pull out two water bottles and four plastic water bowls, once you get the dogs settled down, you look at the TV's to see that it was the news. 

"The same assailant who attacked 6 people at a busy shopping district in Shinjuku yesterday has struck again, taking 8 people hostage at this daycare center. His captives include both children and teachers. The police have now identified the suspect as 42-years-old Kuro Otoharada, currently unemployed. We expect negotiations to begin immediately." 

Wow, I wonder how this is going to turn out. You tune in more.

"At the present time, that’s all the police are telling us." Newscaster 1 informs.

"You can’t help but feel concerned for the safety of those hostages." Newscaster 2

"You’re absolutely right. We’ll continue to monitor the situation from here." Newscaster 1

"Thank you for that report. What do you make of this, Mr. Hashimoto?" Newscaster 2

"Well, one can only hope for a quick resolution to this situation." Mr. Hashimoto

I hope everyone turns out okay…

"Wait, we’re seeing something here! Looks like there’s movement at the front entrance!" Newscaster 2

"The hostages are coming out, and they all look to be unharmed! The Special Forces are taking action; they're moving in! We don't know if the suspect's been arrested. Huh?... Yes?... Ok, we now have confirmation. The suspect has been found dead inside! I repeat the suspect is now dead!" Newscaster 1 informs. 

“Oh, shit…” You mumbled out, watching on. The whole thing intrigued you but you snap out of it when the dogs start pulling you away. All you could think about how karma bit him back. What a coincidence, really. 

___

You quickly dodge other students from left to right. You’re sure you're not late for cram school because you set the timer on your radio earlier so you can meet up with Light but like always, you’re a little behind in time. Light wanted to talk to you, and said it’s important. ‘ASAP’ his text read which he only uses with you since your ass knows English. Finally seeing the door to your classroom, you sigh in relief and quickly get in, which was a bad idea since you bumped into one of the schools bully, Sudou. You instantly recoil in fear but kept your head held high. “Sorry.” You mumble out, not even looking at him, even if he cursed at your stupidity. One of the advantages of being best friends with the top student that’s also popular with everyone is that no one really messes with you and acts all buddy with you to get a chance to speak with Light. It’s a curse and a blessing. 

You make your way to Light’s desk since the class hasn’t started. You stood in front of it with a sheepish smile when you noticed that he watched the whole commotion. “If he dies, will anyone miss him?” Light mumbles to you which has you scrunching your face in confusion. That was a weird quest-OH! The notebook. Snorting you play along. Leaning close to his face, you whispered, “You shouldn’t kill people you know. You’ll get busted for sure.” Light doesn’t say anything. You don’t say anything. A second goes by and you both start to chuckle. Your (e/c)  eyes catch his brown eyes and there’s a glint of life in them. Oh, how you missed that special look. It’s been a while. Your face is close to his… You could feel the warmth rising on your cheeks. Your breath falters and the speed of your heart increases. You knew that you have a crush on Light. You don’t know when it started, you just embraced it. It’s stupid really, you know that Light will never see you like that so you never opened your heart to him. The crush was big but now you can easily ignore it since you trained yourself to quickly exterminate feelings for one. It’s just part of being gay. Falling for people that you shouldn’t. Finding someone else gay is an accomplishment, finding someone that’s gay and have feelings for them is amazing and rare. Especially here in Japan but hopefully it will get better. You only had one relationship with a guy and that was the hardest to maintain since your both were closeted. You’re still in the closet sadly, you want to tell your mother who you really are. 

Light Yagami, the boy that befriended you when you moved here. The boy that found you heartbroken when your ex-boyfriend dumped you. The boy that excepted you when you came out and also told you he’s bisexual. The boy that was there for you when your father and brother got murdered. The boy...Why is he getting closer? Light leans close to your ear. His hot breath tickling your exposed skin which sends a shiver down your spine. “It worked.” His voice low and raspy, which gets your blood pumping when he tries to whisper-wait. “What worked?” You stood straight, tilting your head in confusion. “Kurou Otocharada.” He says which has you reeling back in memories of today and finally connected the dots from the man that died to the conversation you two have been talking about. Your mouth instantly dropped and you look at Light wide-eyed. His eyes bore into your soul like he’s expecting something, your reaction of course. You know that he knows he reads others well by what he knows. He knew you for years and he knows how you react from stuff that he imprinted in his head. This is no different. “How...I want to see.” You slowly say. He was about to say something until the teacher walked in. “Everyone, sit down in your seats.”

You tapped twice on Light's desk with your forefinger. A sign that you both came up with as a secret code for; later, yes, be quiet and your favorite, I’m so gay. The last one, of course, is from you. Light only agreed because it amused him when you both go somewhere and get served by a hot dude when you both decide to eat out. You went to your assigned seat and glanced at Light to see him tap his own forefinger twice. You guess it's either later as conformation or to be quiet. Quickly, you turn your attention back to the front. Light already knows you, you know what Light expects from you. Of course, you will be quiet. 

___

“I’m still in a space in my mind where I can’t believe it.” You say, walking next to Light to a convenience store. “To be honest with you, I’m the same. I need to know if yesterday was a coincidence or not.” Light sighs out, slowing down his pace since your short legs can’t keep up. You can’t help but swallow a lump in your throat that just formed. Is he really thinking to use that thing to actually see if it’s real? If it is then, what’s next? You look at Light from the corner of your eyes and breathe in a shaky breath. Light trusted you by letting you know what he thinks happened yesterday. He trusts you, you should trust him also. “Same.”

“Hey, baby where are you going?” You and Light both glance at a man on his motorcycle with his peers bothering a woman. Light nudges you to the door and you quickly walk in. You split from Light to go to the chip aisle and guiltily pick out your chips. You wish you can help that lady out but the guy has his gang around him. Even if one person steps up, no one will follow. That’s how bad the world is. “Takuo look out!” You quickly look up and see a truck hitting the guy that was molesting the girl at full speed. You gasp and drop the chips and make your way to Light that was standing in front of the magazine aisle. You look over at Light to see his surprise and shocked face. His hands gripping the Death note. Your heart dropped and your breathing came out labored. 

___

“What a nice surprise! I wasn't expecting you home so early.” Light’s mom greeted her son once he stepped into their house.  Light smiles at his mom, the memory of (Y/N) having his family car for the night instead of his mother came to mind. “Yeah. Hi mom, it’s because…huh?” When his mother extended her hands, Light knew what she wanted. “Oh, the results of the nationwide exams.” Light pulls his bag in front of him to fish it out. “I’ve been waiting all day.” She says, excited to see what her brilliant son brought to the household. “Here. (Y/N) says hi by the way.” Light gives his exam scores to his mother and starts making his way to his room. “Goodness! Number one again! These are the highest scores you’ve had. Is it because you started to study with (Y/N) so much?” His mom asks, even though she knows the answer. The last couple of days (Y/N) spent so much time with Light to study and she would hear them, more like (Y/N), laugh. “Yeah. I'm going to study in my room so please don't interrupt me, ok?” Light says, heading up the stairs. “Where is (Y/N)?” Light turns to his mother and tells her, “He took the car to cram school and his mother called she was needed in the hospital for a shift so she needed the car fast.” And with that, he went inside his room and locked the door. 

He immediately grabs the Death Note, grabs a pen and starts writing names down. For a while, he stops and starts to examine the names he has written and starts to laugh. He can’t believe he holds something so surreal. “You’ve taken quite a liking to it.” Light looks behind him and instantly yells and falls down when his eyes meet with a monster. “No reason to act surprised. I am Shinigami, Ryuk. That used to be my notebook. Judging by your laughter, you've already figured out that what you have is no ordinary notebook.” Ryuk, the Shinigami says, watching the human in front of him stand to his full height. “Shinigami, God of death, huh? Well, I’m not surprised. In fact...Ryuk, I’ve been waiting for you.” Light gets up from the floor. “Oh?” Ryuk gave a surprised face, watching the human with interest. “I've already figured out that this Death Note that I've found is real. It didn't take me long. And now that I've witnessed the proof of its power, I only feel more confident in what I'm gonna do.” Light says, taking in the Shinigami in. He never has seen a God of Death. “That's interesting. I certainly wasn't expecting this. Several Death Notes have made their way into the human world in the past, but you're the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you’ve killed in only five days. Most are reluctant to write this much.” As Ryuk says this, Light is thinking of a male that has pointed out many things about the Death Note. ”I've already prepared myself, Ryuk. I used the notebook even though I knew it belonged to a Shinigami, and now that Shinigami has come. So what will happen to me? You're here to take my soul, right?” 

“Hmm, what do you mean? Is that some fantasy you humans came up with? I'm not gonna do anything to you. The notebook becomes part of the human realm from the very moment it touches the earth. In other words, the notebook is now yours.” Ryuk explains, looking at Light Yagami's lifespan. “This...is mine?” Light asks, surprised that the Death Note is starting to get his life more interesting. “If you don't want it, just give it to someone else. But if you give it away, I'd have no choice but to erase your memories of the notebook.” Light scoffs in his head, who will give up a Death Note? Even if he did, Light knows no one to carry out his plans. (Y/N) might be a choice if Light was there to push him. He knows the other male will follow his lead. “So, then, you're saying I can use the Death Note all I want and I won't be punished?”

“Let's just say this, you will feel the fear and pain known only to humans who have used the notebook. And when it's your time to die, it will fall on me to write your name in my Death Note. Be warned, any human who's used a Death Note can neither go to heaven nor hell for eternity. That's all. Now you have something to look forward to after you die.” Ryuk laughs at the end, knowing well how humans have died. A knock sounded behind the door to his bedroom and Light let out a confirmation that he heard the other person. “Light?” His mother calls him. Light looks at Ryuk to try and figure out how to hide the 8 foot Shinigami. Apparently, Ryuk saw the annoyed look that the human had on his face. “It’ll be alright. Answer it.” Ryuk eggs on, watching as Light slowly makes it to the door. “What is it?” Light asks, making sure that the door isn’t open enough to see the death god in his room. 

“I thought you'd like some apples the neighbors brought them over for us. Why on earth is it so dark in your room? You'll ruin your eyesight.” Light looks over his shoulder in surprise. What’s going on? Mom can’t see him? He didn’t say anything, just grabbed the basket of apples from his mother and shut the door. He places the apples down and sits down on his chair by the computer while watching the shinigami examining the apples. “That notebook you found originally belonged to me, and since you're now using it, you are the only one able to see me, and of course, my voice can only be heard by you. In other words, the Death Note is the bond between Light, the human and Ryuk, the Shinigami.” Ryuk takes a big bite out of the delicious smelling fruit. “Yum.” He says, tasting the juices exploding in his mouth. Light looks at the notebook that was on his desk. 

“I just have one more question I wanna ask you. Why was I chosen for this?” Light looks back at the tall figure only to see Ryuk shoving down more apples down his throat. “Hey, are you even listening?” Light’s jaw clenches. “Apples in the human world are worth the trip. What's the best way to describe these? Juicy?” Ryuk mumbles out, more to himself. “Just answer my question.” Light asks, well more like demands. Scoffing, Ryuk looks at the human, “I didn't choose you. Don't you see? This is all just an accident. You actually thought you were chosen because you're so smart or something? Don't be so vain. It just happened to fall around here, and you just happened to pick it up. And that's all there is to it. That's why I wrote the instructions in English, the most popular language in the human world.” “Then why did you drop it in the first place? You even wrote down specific instructions, so don't try telling me this was an accident!” 

“You're asking me why? I did it 'cause I was bored.” Ryuk answers, not bothered by the human’s anger, more like amused. “You were bored?” Light deadpans, bothered by the shinigami's truth. The mind of the human racks for an answer but all in all, boredom leads to two different things. Happiness or depression. “The truth is Shinigami haven't got much to do these days. Most of the time we're either taking naps or gambling. If you take the time to write names in your Death Note, the others just laugh at you for working so hard. Even if you wrote the name of another Shinigami, it'd be pointless because they wouldn't die. And since we live in the Shinigami Realm, it brings us no amusement to kill those in the human world either. So I figured I'd have more fun if I came down here myself. Anyway, I'm surprised at how many names you've written, but I wanna know why you only wrote the cause of death for that guy who was hit by the truck.”

“If you don't write down the cause of death, the victim dies of a heart attack, and that's probably the best thing about the Death Note, Ryuk. You see, I've already exhausted the list of the world's major criminals, and eventually, I'm going to get rid of them all.” Light answers the Shinigami, not only for the guy that was hit by the truck but for all the names that he written down in the Death Note. “What's the point of doing that?” Ryuk questions, eating all this information up in his mind. “It's only a matter of time before people figure out that these criminals are being eliminated by someone. I want the world to know of my existence. That there's someone passing righteous judgement on the wicked!” Light can feel excitement pass through his body once more. The adrenaline kicking in. “Why even bother? What are you trying to achieve by passing judgement on them? I mean, why do you care?” Ryuk questions further, who knew watching a human do something passionate be so entertaining? “Because… I've been bored too. I wasn't ready to believe it at first, but it's obvious now. There's something about the Death Note itself that makes humans want to try it out at least once.” Light starts to have memories of all the times he just watched people do horrible things. How a boy by the name of (Y/n) got bullied because of his race. 

-Flash back after Taruo’s death-

He remembers how (Y/n) pulls him out of the store and into an alleyway. His mind whirling with thoughts. His body was in a state of shock of not only just the guy that was harassing the lady but also the guy that was holding hostages. “I killed them both. I really… I killed two men.” He mumbles out, leaning on (Y/n) for support. “I...it worked.” (Y/n) mumbles out, disbelief written on his face. “Those were human lives, Light! You can go to jail!” (Y/n) gasps out, letting Light lean onto the wall behind him so he can ground himself. It won't be overlooked. Besides, who am I to pass judgement on others? Uhh… no, no wait. Maybe I'm wrong. This is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Light thinks, looking over at a shaking 18 year old. “This world is rotting, and those who are making it rot deserve to die.” Light says, getting the attention of the smaller male. “What are you talking about Light?” “Someone has to do it, so why not me?” Light straightens out, catching his breath from the adrenaline coursing through his body. “Light, this is…” He can see the other thinking it over. Can see the fear in his eyes. He doesn’t want to see that. “You're sacrificing your mind and soul!” (Y/n) whisper yells, looking at the alley's exit, in case someone hears. “It’s worth it.” Light spits out, watching the fear of the older decrease. “Because the world can't go on like this.” Light ends the conversation, watching the fear clear from his friends eyes and something new awakens Light when the fear gets replaced by amazement. 

-Flash back in the classroom-

I've wondered… what if someone else picked up this notebook. Light scans the room, watching teens his age talking to each other. Is there anyone out there, other than me, who would be willing to eliminate the vermin from the world? If I don't do it, then who will? His eyes land on his childhood friend who gets up from his seat and makes his way over to Light. The (e/c) eyed male slips a piece of paper on his desk, leaning close to Light so no one can see them. He turns over the paper to show letters that form words. Toki Kark… Realization crosses Light’s eyes and he looks over at the short male in front of him. This person is the one that killed (Y/n)’s father and younger brother.

-Flash back in Light’s room-

Both Light and (Y/n) look at the notebook. Both came in here without any conversation. Slowly, Light picks up a pen and writes down, ‘Toki Kark’. He lays down the pen and both pairs of eyes tune on to Light's watch that you gave him for his birthday. That's just it; there's no one, but I can do it. After a minute passes by, Light looks at (Y/n) who has tears running down his cheeks. The older boy gets up from Light’s bed and gets on his knees in front of Light. Hands gripping Light’s thigh, (Y/n)’s eyes met with Light’s. “Thank you, Light… I owe you my life.” The boy whispers out, bowing at the taller man’s feet. I'm the only one who can. I'll do it, using the Death Note, I'll change the world.

-Flash back ends-

“At first, I wrote the names of the worst criminals I could think of. Like I was cleaning up the world, one name at a time, so that eventually no one will ever do anything evil again. And while the truly guilty ones who deserve to be punished for their crimes die of heart attacks, the people who are less guilty but who still make trouble for others will slowly be erased through disease and accidental death. Then and only then the world will start moving in the right direction. It'll be a new world, free of injustice, and populated by people who I've judged to be honest, kind, and hardworking.” Light explains, closing the Death Note. A shiver runs down his back, remembering how good it felt to see (Y/n) on his knees, hope in his eyes looking at him. No one else, but him. “But if you did that, it would make you the only bad person left.” Ryuk counters, watching a gleam cross over the human’s face. “Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a hard working honor student considered to be one of Japan's best and brightest. And I… I will become the God of this New World.”

It's just as I thought, humans are so interesting. Ryuk chuckles to himself. 

[haikyuuphilia]

💉(1/4) May I have a romantic match up with any gender please? I’m a female, bisexual, an infp, and an Pisces/Aquarius cusp. Ngl I do be kinda on the thicc side😳 but I be short as hell sadly😐(5’2). I have a nose stud and I’ve also got 4 stick and pokes. 2 on each of my wrist and 2 on my ankle. Oh, and I’ve also got curly, dirty blonde hair that’s medium length, dark blue eyes, and a small tooth gap.

💉(2/4) At first I can come off as an asshole with my resting bitch face and I don’t talk much (deadass been asked if I was a mute before). In reality I’m just really awkward and kinda shy as hell. It takes me awhile to grow connections with people but once I do I go crazy go stupid. I love joking around with a dark sense of humor and being stupid with my friends. However I’m also down to have deep conversations and just chill out.

💉 (3/4) I also know when to be serious when it’s needed. I would also say that I’m pretty protective over my friends too and I can get affectionate with them. I will admit though that I do have some anger issues and that I get be really moody. And sometimes I really do be drinking that dumb bitch juice (I’m kinda dense most of the time).

💉(4/4) I enjoy napping, baking(I’ve got a huge sweet tooth), fashion, sanrio(keroppi and pompompurin my are bitches) drawing, reading, skateboarding, playing video games, listening to music, and watching true crime and horror related stuff(I absolutely love horror and occult stuff).

———

hii thank you for requesting and for making the ask so easy to follow! you sound like someone i’d have a crush on asjkldfjdf <3

i match you with...

semi eita

thinks you’re the hottest person alive. seriously.

he’s really into the nose stud and your tattoos

would definitely want to have a matching piercing with you, and a tattoo if you’d be up for that after a while into your relationship

loves your hair and eyes and thinks your tooth gap is adorable!

probably tangles your hair in his hands when you kiss 😳

he’s also perceived as pretty quiet and can be a little stoic, so you two are in the same boat

but you two share similar a sense of dark humor and aesthetic

understands your moods for sure, so he’s good with affection and you two deal with whatever outburts or emotions you have healthily

thinks your fashion sense is amazing and loves watching you get ready in the mornings or before dates

crime/horror movie marathon dates? skate park dates??? making you playlists tailored to your taste???? hell yeah

i get the rbf vibe from him too LMAO

you two are the intimidatingly hot couple but everyone loves you once they see you interact <3

kiyoko shimizu

warmed up to you because you guys both kinda have quiet/shy but intense vibes

she loves everything about your hair, and she probably likes to play with it

if you ever wanted a personal hair stylist, kiyoko’s got you covered

she would want to get an ear piercing with you probably, like another one on her lobe or smth subtle like a daith

she’d ask you to pick out a tattoo for her <3

when you and she are together, it’s a beauty overload!!

onlookers beware, it’s a safety hazard to have you two walk in the streets bc people are doing double takes everywhere

kiyoko understands your occasional moods, and you’d do the same for her

always your go-to person if you’re feeling down

she’s more affectionate then, too, which is great

drawing and reading with him would be so soothing

she would bake with you and it would devolve into a mini foodfight. somehow the cookies you bake turn out delicious still

asks you to teach her how to skate!

best girlfrienddd she definitely listens to girl in red 

(a short bonus because i’m grateful for all the details you gave + effort you put into your ask)

miya atsumu!

may also come off as an asshole but you two are great together

gets your dark humor!! in fact, he cracks jokes that make passersby confused/horrified while you’re laughing your ass off

also gets serious and protective of his friends as well as you

if another guy/gal tries to hit on you, he will be so hotheaded and angry

he thinks your piercing and stick-and-pokes are really hot

probably asks you to do one for him

he wouldn’t let it get infected, and he’d trust you 100%

surprisingly a really good skater, too

claims to love horror movies to try to impress you but he’s easily scared aww

asdfkasdjf 12/10 boyfriend <3

[packsbeforesnacks]

Tongue Twister || Noah & Winn

TIMING: Saturday, June 20th, 2020, during and after Luke and Layla’s party. LOCATION: The Magic Circle & Creed Park PARTIES: @noah-kalani & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Noah and Winn figure some things out over a game of Twister. Things escalate. WARNINGS: Rated M for Mature. At least three (3) boners and some brief heavy petting.

Walking into the Magic Circle, Noah unbuttoned the last button on his yellow “Hawaiian” shirt, chest now actually bare against his blue boardshorts. He knew coming as a “surfer” might be a bit of a stretch for this crowd, but having lived in the jockiest of jock outfits for years he didn’t feel the least bit drawn to a hot football jersey. Or any other jersey for that matter. Nodding at the others, Noah headed towards the bar, chatting and drinking with Miles, Nate, Otto, and Luke, happy in the atmosphere of the party.

Winn, contrary to popular opinion, really hated bein’ late to shit. But Ariana’s damn Black Cherry White Claws had been a former frat bro’s living nightmare to find. At least he was here now, before the cake cutting. A light sheen of sweat on his arms and cheeks was the only sign that he’d been runnin’ around. Hiis (mesh) shirt helped with that problem, thankfully. Parties were always hot and Winn refused to sweat his ass off if he didn’t have to. He wasn’t wearin’ much else — rainbow track shorts, sneakers (hockey players didn’t have cleats and he wasn’t going to waste the money), and the looongest White Boy socks he could find. Winn dropped his cooler by the door (he’d find Ari in a sec), and his eyes immediately found Noah. Despite his, ugh, crush, he never could resist a surprise bear hug. He rushed the man, squeezing him from behind in the most heterosexual way. “Boo.”

Turning around to find out who was hugging him, Noah smiled. “Winn, you’re here!” he exclaimed with a bit of giddy excitement. “What do you want to drink? Nate just had a shot. And then there’s Twister and stuff over there.” Noah pointed to the corner where others were already starting to go at it.

Winn squeezed tightly, inhaling Noah’s scent. “Bro, you smell… really good?” He smiled, soft and sappy, before realizing that he was absolutely showing his hand. He let go of Noah as subtly as possible, nodding at— “Oh, shit, Otto? Wild place to meet up? And, hey, Blackthorne! Small world, architect bro!”

Letting Winn do his sniffing thing, Noah just took a long gulp of his beer. “It’s a party, dude, of course I smell great.” He snorted playfully. As Winn talked with his friends, Noah downed his beer, beelining for the Twister mat. He did not come practically shirtless for nothing. The Twister game was easy enough for Noah, as his body contorted into various shapes. What was the hard part was trying not to go down as the others fell around him. He was lucky that while others were also athletic, they didn’t have the ability to hold their position quite like Noah. And just as soon as it started, they were down to just Lucas and Noah. Knowing that the competition was going to be stiff with another athletic bro in the mix, Noah took a risk, deciding to play a little dirty, jiggling his pecs directly into Lucas’s face. And down Lucas went, unable to resist ogling at a few of Noah’s assets. Releasing his pretzeled bodyc Noah listened to the cheers with a grin on his face as Otto claimed him the Twister champion.  

Winn turned away from the counter, away from Otto, Miles, and Nate, just in time to see Luke and Noah duking it out on the magical (?) Twister board. Immediately, he wished he hadn’t. ‘Cause Noah was playin’ dirty on the hapless bisexual man beneath (and on top of?) him. So, Winn saw Noah wiggle his pecs, saw Noah win based on the strength of bein’ fucking gorgeous and charming. His mouth ran dry, drier when Miles joked “You know, might want to ease up on the pec wiggling. Lot of folks wearin’ sweats and trackpants.” Winn needed a drink, but Otto was moving out from behind the counter to declare the winner, and… Was it hot in here? It was hot in here. (He was wearing mesh and the jock equivalent of booty shorts, he knew. But it was, like, definitely just hot.) Pull it together, Winner.

Grabbing his shirt from the side of the mat, Noah couldn’t help but to grin as he threw it back over his shoulders. He honestly had not planned to flex hard enough to make poor Luke fall, but at the same time he was glad his assets had somehow come in handy — especially as Otto declared him the de facto winner. Riding the endorphin high, Noah gave a few back pats and good games before sauntering over to the one person he really wanted to talk to right now. “You saw that, right?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Winn, dimples on display. He wasn’t exactly sure why he wanted Winn’s attention, but goddamn if he wasn’t going to get something out of the usually flirtatious Winner Lycus Woods tonight.

“Um,” Winn said, extremely intelligently. Okay, bro mode. Go bro mode. “I saw you destroy the birthday boy, brah!” He bro-hugged Noah, giving him two slaps on his — wait, shit, shirtless — back, before pulling back and grinning wildly at the other man. “Who knew you were so flexible, yeah?” Wait. Gay. Gay as shit. Backtrack. “I mean, other than all those girls you bag, hahaha!” Laughing too loud again. Why the fuck had Noah come over here, flashed those dimples? Why couldn’t Winn fucking control his stupid ass around a cute boy. A cute, straight boy. Damn it. He was spared further mortification by the cake-cutting being called. He gave Noah another bro-pounding on the back for good measure — his skin was hot and nice — and said, “Cake? I made the fuckin’ thing, I should get the fuckin’ thing, yeah? YEAH!”

Looking at Winn, Noah raised a slight eyebrow, trying not to look too concerned for the man in front of him. This wasn’t like Winn at all. Like yeah, he was still flirty Winn. But the usual finesse seemed to be gone and was replaced by an almost uncomfortable awkwardness. And especially as he started talking about Noah’s body count. “Not that I would ever be one to dismiss my sexual prowess, but I think the thanks goes more toward all the Physical Therapists I’ve seen over the years. You think Twister’s bad, wait till one of those dudes has you on a table.” He chuckled, before the announcement about cake was made. “Oh yeah, I forgot Ari said you made the cake!” Excited about the prospect of stuffing his face (and potentially smashing someone's face in a piece), Noah found his hand resting on Winn’s lower back, cheekily pushing the other in front of him. “Lead the way, stud.”

“Not the way I want dudes to have me on a table, Noh,” Winn said automatically, trying to recover from the goddamn travesty that had taken over his social skills. But then, Noah’s hand was on his back, and Winn wanted to swear aloud. They were friends. Winn shouldn’t be flinching away from his friend’s touch, too scared of liking it. Liking it too much. But flinch he did, darting forward a full foot away from Noah’s hand the moment he heard stud come out of Noah’s mouth. Winn tried to save it, a strained “Race you?” to his friend, but it was flimsy at best. The table was close. He scrolled through better excuses. Bathroom? No, he’d miss the cake-cutting. Lean into the physical affection? No, he’d explode. Literally explode. But, fuck, he needed air, needed away from Noah. The problem was, he didn’t want to be away from Noah. He put some distance between them as they made their way over, hoping it wasn’t… obvious. He’d told Blanche and Ricky, he didn’t want to hurt this friendship. He didn’t. But… Fuck, maybe he needed some space. For a while.

Noah was not known to be one of the most astute of people, but he definitely was not dumb, and Winn was definitely being weird. Like super weird. Like he was even flinching away from his touch weird . What the actual fuck. Grabbing his shoulder Noah gently stopped Winn from moving any further, coming up to face him. “Winn, what’s going on with you?” he asked quietly, hoping his eyes screamed sincerity. Had he done something wrong? Shit. He’d done something wrong hadn’t he.

But no, Winn couldn’t do that to Noah. Not after his stupid misunderstanding. Not after Noah had poured his heart out to Winn. Noah deserved to know, and Winn would have picked a better time for this, but… He felt a hand on his shoulder, and then Noah was in front of him. Winn looked into his friend’s eyes. And he couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t find it in him to lie, not looking into those eyes, again. “I need to talk to you about something,” he said, he hoped, quietly and evenly. “I’m not breaking my promise,” he tried to assure, but realized that might sound bad. “That’s not even a possibility, Noh.” His throat was scratchy a bit, but he wouldn’t be the world’s worst packmate and make a scene at his friends’ birthday party. The pack had had enough misery, he wouldn’t add his own to the pile. “Let’s… Would you mind stayin’ after the party, for a little bit? We could, um, take a walk. Sober.” As much as Winn wanted liquid courage, he needed to be stronger than this. For himself, and for Noah.

Taking in everything, Noah felt his heart start to beat wildly. “We need to talk” was not exactly the most calming phrase in the history of phrases, especially when it was accompanied by Winn acting weird and bringing up his running incident again. And sober? Why the fuck did he want him sober? Resisting the urge to just flat out refuse to hear Winn out (because fuck fucking Winn and his mood killing vibe), Noah removed the shirt from around his shoulders, and started shoving his arms through, already feeling too vulnerable and bare for this right now. “It's fine. We can definitely talk later.” He nodded, as he resumed walking toward the cake. Looks like he was gonna need like 3 pieces if Winn wanted him to get through this night sober.

“Hey, hey,” Winn said, already knowing the signs of Noah tightening up, heard Noah’s heart slamming in his chest. He grabbed Noah’s hand as he was walking away, pulling the other man back again and giving his hand a firm squeeze. (Gay, his mind screamed.) “Seriously, Noh. Things are good. Really good, I promise. Let’s just act like we’re hangin’ out all chill-like. And you looked great without a shirt, bro.” There. Cool. Easy. Winn smiled, straightening up, and turned back to the cake-side of the room. Okay, change of plans. Don’t leave Noah’s side for long. Winn kept Noah’s hand tight in his, running circles and lines with his thumb, pulling him towards the cake. After the cutting (and where the hell was Layla?), Winn grabbed a piece of the cake (that he definitely couldn’t eat) and resolved to be the smooth, easy Winner everyone was expecting. Noah was always in his sight, and on his mind, the calm gravity of the other man leading him back again and again (he even refilled the man’s cake plate with his own slice). As the night dragged on, Winn loosened up, little by little. “Wanna play some Twister?” he asked, eventually, wiggling his eyebrows.

Feeling the tug of a hand intertwining with his, Noah allowed himself to be forcibly turned back, fully expecting to have a goddamn meltdown, lovers quarrel, whatever the fuck this was, right in the middle of the fucking birthday party. But when he looked at Winn, and listened to him qualify a bit more that this was going to be a good talk Noah could feel his anxiety and anger dissipate slightly. Winn wasn’t trying to hurt him, or make him upset, Winn was... reassuring him? Woah. Noah stared straight at Winn, mouth opening and then closing, any sort of rebuttal dying on his tongue at this sudden realization. Nodding, Noah just turned back toward the cake, hand in hand with Winn, figuring he could try to be chill (even though holding hands with Winn in the middle of a large crowded room made him decidedly not chill) After his prerequisite 3 pieces of cake, and a lot of laughter, Noah could feel his good mood comeback, the sugar in his veins making him giddy. “Only if you wanna get your ass handed to you.” He smirked at Winn “I am the reigning champ after all.”

“Bro, I’m going to smoke you like a joint,” Winn said, a soft chuckle. “I’m flexible as hell.” He looked down at his mesh crop-top, a small frown. But, well, Noah had been shirtless during his last game? So, it'd be… fine. Pulling the shirt over his head, and using it to dab at the light sweat on his face and chest, Winn winked at Noah. He could hashtag-flirt his way into being totally comfortable with this, right? Winn tossed it over behind the bar when Otto wasn’t looking, and got up in Noah’s face a bit, cocky smirk plastered across his mouth. Jocks did this, right? Jocks. “Wanna make a bet?” he said, suddenly bold. “Let’s make it interesting.”

“Yea well flexibility is only half the battle” Noah replied trying not to watch to closely as Winn divested himself of his own shirt. He’d avoided looking at them in the beginning, but the barebells in Winn’s nipple now caught his full attention. Fuck. That was…. Biting his lip Noah busied himself with looking annnnnnnywhere else. One day he’d ask Winn about them, but for now he was gonna pick his horny ass jaw up off the floor and play some twister. But then Winn got in his face and the wolf in him started to bleed through. “Depends. What are we betting?” Noah drew himself to full height, recognizing the alpha male energy Winn was trying to exude and matching it with equal and unflinching force. Two could play that game after all. “My first born is already promised to another.”

Aw, fuck. Noah was trying to alpha dog his way through this conversation. Winn had some regrets about wearing [compression] shorts and little else, ‘cause Noah made a convincing wolf even in his half-self. Regrets. But he could keep himself — and his head — in the game. “Well,” he said, word dripping out in his honeyed accent, “Can’t be nothing money can buy. Too easy for me to get out of. We’re not sitcom characters, so I ain’t gonna make you my errand boy for a week either. Hmm…” He put his finger to chin, making a big show of thinking. “What do you have,” Winn said, voice going from sweet to gravelly as he leaned in to talk into Noah’s ear, hot breath close, “to bargain with, Kalani?” Was anyone staring? Someone had to be seeing this.

Standing still, Noah cocked his head, smirk still splayed across his lips. This was starting to get heated, and it was safe to say that his wolf liked it, the whole confrontation with a heaping helping of sexual tension was something that Noah usually ate up when he was out with women. But then Winn was whispering in his ear, hot breath tingling against his neck, practically making his brain short circuit. And normally, he would have pulled away by now, the thought of all of these strangers eyes and thoughts too much to bear. But there was something about having three pieces of cake coursing through his blood stream, and the rainbow of lights, and the way Winn was pleading, no begging for him to just give up that had Noah digging his heels in. If Winn wanted a challenge, we was gonna get a fucking challenge “Well I usually bargain with my body, but…” He trailed off slowly, devilish dimples out in full bloom. Pulling away Noah winked before he turned and headed toward the Twister mat. Your move, Winner.

Noah looked… fucking amazing under the shine of the lights — the happy flush to his brown skin, those damn dimples. Winn could almost put them in another time, another place. A club in DC, the attic of the frat house. But one of the things about Noah that Winn wanted to drink in was his fight, the confidence in his challenges to Winn’s questions, Winn’s flirtation. And sure, maybe it was all actin’, but Winn was a selfish man. He’d take this. He could almost feel the steam rolling off their bodies when Noah mentioned betting his body, something in Winn clicking into place. It wasn’t a true bet, but the wolf was prowling now, sensing a dare. And though the human in Winn wanted to stamp down the hope-tinged-with-horny, the wolf in him knew it was fuckin’ on. “One-on-one!” Winn called out to Noah, standing across from him on the mat. “Winner takes all.” He grinned, staring pointedly at his friend.

Shrugging out of his button down, Noah draped it over the back of the nearest chair, his whole body tingling with anticipation. He loved flirting, he loved fighting, and if he was being honest with himself, he’d say that he also loved looking across the mat and seeing Winn, in all his glory. Happy. Grinning. Sarcastic. Flirty. Winn. “Sure” Noah responded, throwing a cheeky arm over his chest to stretch a little bit and he toed off his shoes. One on One would generally be harder than regular Twister but he was willing to accommodate the request “Though I think you mean Noah takes all, buddy boy” Switching arms, Noah grinned straight back at Winn.

Winn was glad they weren’t attracting too much of a crowd. It made him feel like Noah and he could just relax and lean into whatever their energy was. The first spins of the dial were easy, Noah and Winn dancing around one side of the board. “Swing your partner round and round,” Winn sing-songed, shoulders shimmying as he moved into the newest variation on “feet spread a normal amount apart.” But that quickly changed, as Winn felt them stretch from one side of the mat to the other with their hands, and then a leg. And, oh, alright. Okay. Ass. That was definitely Noah’s ass. Right in his face. Winn was near-touching it, his breath easy on the dip of Noah’s back. “Bro, have you been working your glutes? Lookin’ tight,” he quipped just loud enough for Noah to hear, trying to distract himself. Fortunately for him, the next spin allowed him to try and reposition himself. Try.

Stepping onto the mat Noah put on his game face, competitive spirit already coursing through him. He didn’t exactly know what he was gonna win but goddamn if he wasn’t going all out to do so. Snorting slightly at the other man’s sing song as they repositioned their feet, Noah was focused on finding the best moves which meant that for the most part he couldn’t see Winn. But maybe that made things better, and especially when he ended up pretzled across the Twister board full blown ass in the air. Normally he wouldn’t care, but at the same time…. This was definitely newer territory for both he and Winn, as made obvious by the older man’s obvious deflections. “Keep talking about my tight ass and I’ll be sure to fart on you” Noah joked with a chuckle as he angled even closer to Winn. Exploiting a weakness was how he won the last game and Winn would be mistaken if Noah wasn’t going to use his body to his full advantage.

“Not my kink,” Winn mumbled, as he was taken away from Noah’s ass and… being stretched back, fully, palms down in green, feet fully in red. Noah had an easier time of it, given he was facing downward. Hard yoga, but still doable. Winn was super glad he stayed in shape, ‘cause this stretch was rough. But… Well, if Noah was going to play dirty (if gross), Winn could mess with him. That damnable hope was back, and Winn wondered if… if Noah was flustered, or confused, maybe? César had been, and it would be on-brand for Winn to be (romantically) attracted to hapless bisexual disasters and hapless bisexual disasters exclusively. And while Twister wasn’t talkin’, it had its perks. The color moved Winn’s left hand from green to yellow, and back again -- but Noah had decided to fuck with him today, apparently. His hands ended up crossed behind him, and, given he was still bent backwards, it had to look… awkward, from the outside looking in. “Noh,” Winn whispered, jerking his head forward in a tiny nod to his hips, where they bucked as subtly as he could manage. “If you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask.” God, I hope the pack didn’t hear that.

“I’d be alarmed if it was,” Noah shot back with a laugh as they kept up their dance, Noah muscles starting to burn a little from having to keep his weight off the floor in his twisted position. Apparently, he needed to put some more stretching into his workouts, but that was a problem for another day, especially as he saw his opening. Diving forward, Noah took the offensive and claimed the green spot that would be more convenient for Winn, forcing the other man to cross his arms. Glancing backwards at the sad pretzel of a man — who may or may not have just thrust his hips at him? naughty, naughty — Noah just snorted again. “True, but this is definitely more fun.” Yup, definitely more fun, and less… sexy? No, actually, Twister might be making everything more sexy… But that was a crisis for another day. Hopefully.

Winn breathed a sigh of relief as he was given a temporary reprieve from testing the limits of his flexibility. “Don’t think you’ve ever tied anyone up before then, bro.” He laughed weakly. A thin sheen of sweat was obvious on his chest, and arms, and face. Christ, Noah had been smart to stretch a little before starting; Winn had been too, uh, cocky. And, fuck. If he had to stretch like that again, he’d lose. And… well, neither of them knew what they had bet, Winn was sure, but Winn wasn’t about to lose it, lose to Noah. It felt like this was playin’ for more than braggin’ rights and Winn wasn’t sure whether that was real or imagined. But he was a winner. Literally. He was right-side up now, Noah’s back still to him. As the color changed once once, his crossed arms stretched — just barely — to red and yellow. But, because God had a sense of humor or really did hate the gays, now Winn was all up in Noah’s ass again. And then, the hand that had just moved to yellow was told to go to green. Shit. Winn stretched out, trying as hard as possible to reach over without pullin’ his arm out of its socket. ‘Course, then it all went shit-side. “Fuck.”

“Not seriously. Last time I tried, I was the one being tied. Being restrained isn’t really my cup of tea, to be honest,” Noah mused through gritted teeth as they fumbled through another grueling hand position. He didn’t exactly know why he told Winn that, but the smalltalk was better than them silently thrusting parts of their body parts at each other with zero remorse. Or at least zero remorse on Noah’s end, one of his best assets once again in Winn’s face. Grinning to himself, Noah urged his arms to hold his weight as he stretched for what seemed like an impossible color. But of course it was then, as both boys moved that the world decided they were pushing too far, and in a series of unfortunate events, Noah lost his balance and fell. Onto Winn. His lap, specifically. “Shiiittttt,” Noah breathed out as both men crashed to the floor.

[Maybe break it into Part 2 here?]

The world was spinning, and it was silent. Once again, Winn felt like he and Noah were the only two in the world. Even the couple of folks that had been watching their nonsense seemed shocked into silence at this particular turn of events. Winn, breathing hard, let his head fall forward onto Noah’s shoulder. It probably should have been gross, both of them covered in sweat, but Winn didn’t really fuckin’ care. He started laughing, high and delighted and clear, before wrapping his arms around Noah in a tight hug. Through the sweat, Noah smelled good, warm, safe, happy. But, ‘course, it couldn’t last, Winn suddenly hyper aware of Noah’s body against his. Miles’ joking caution was becoming a very real problem, Winn nudging his hips up against Noah as he shifted and mentally cursed the theme of his party with all the venom in his arsenal. “Uh,” he whispered into the other man’s ear, “I don’t have the Full Moon as an excuse this time, but I have a problem. And I’m so, so sorry. Can we, um, chill like this for a sec? Get up together or somethin’? Don’t want to flash the room.”

If Noah was going to fall, he guessed the best way to fall was with Winn. Sitting there, laughing and giggly, on the ground, neither could say they won, but at the same time Noah was so gone right now he didn't really care. Because he was safe here in the sweaty arms of Winn. Even if those arms were attached to a really responsive body. “Wait, are you sporting, again?” Noah huffed, trying to roll over so he was face to face with Winn instead of, well, not. Realizing, though, that that was just going to make everything much, much worse, Noah calmed and stopped squirming, resigning himself to just, well, have a semi hard part of Winn pressed into the lower section of his back. Which if Noah was thinking about it wasn’t actually like totally… weird or, like, completely unwanted now that he was thinking about it... But again. Crisis for another time. Looking up at the ceiling, Noah tried to focus on not making their predicament worse, the only way he knew how. With offensive humor.  “Well, since we’re here for a bit, serious question for you, bub.” He poked the offending arm around his middle, making sure Winn was listening. “Are you, like, a nymphomaniac or something?” Noah turned his head and grinned up at the other man, hoping he could see this was all fun and games. “Cuz it seems like everytime we get close together you get hard.”

This was the nightmare scenario, but Winn couldn’t be assed to give a shit. Noah squirming against his lap felt good, and Winn had to muffle a groan into the skin of Noah’s back. Fortunately, he seemed to understand and stopped. ‘Course, Noah was always a joker, and, as he asked an extremely joking question, Winn felt his entire body flush, stammering out, “I— Uh, I mean.” Noah was joking, Winner. Joking. Calm the fuck down. “Shut up,” he finished, lamely. The embarrassment, at least, was killing his boner. He wasn’t used to feelin’… vulnerable, like this. And though Winn had a pretty thick skin, he knew Noah could ruin him with a word, a look. Realizing that he hadn’t technically answered Noah’s question, and knowing that Noah deserved an answer because this was almost exactly how they’d first spent time together and it couldn’t be written off as base horniness anymore, he sighed against Noah’s ear. “Let’s get out of here, Noh. Meet me outside in five.” He hoisted both of them up, boner subsided enough to not be obvious in the dim lights of the bar. No winner had been declared, but he really didn’t care right now. Noah could have the victory, could have all of him. Fuck. He was really gone, huh? Winn circled the room, picking up his shirt and giving goodbyes, and walked out the door to wait for Noah on the street.

It was safe to say that Noah expected a lot of things from this exchange, but what he really did not expect is for Winn to start stuttering. Looking back at the other man Noah took in the flush splattered across his cheek bones, the way he dodged his artfully dodged his question. If Winn had been a girl Noah would have said he had a crush on him somehow. But Winn wasn’t a girl. Winn was… Wait. Oh Shit. The sudden realization hit Noah like a pile of bricks, flatlining any type of response that he could have had. Because it was obvious wasn’t it? Grabbing his own shirt off the chair he’d placed it on, Noah ran on autopilot, barely remembering the hugs and the goodbyes, his head filled with Winn and Winn only. Slipping out of the door, Noah walked until he found the other man standing under a streetlight, the soft glow making his features stand out even more. This wasn’t the first time Noah had looked at Winn like this, as something more than what they both knew they were, but it was the first time Noah looked at Winn like this. “Soooo, what’s up?” Noah asked gently, sincere brown eyes looking at Winn for the answers.

“Let’s walk,” Winn said back, just as quiet as Noah. His palms were sweaty, like a teenager with their very first crush. If this were casual, Winn would have propositioned Noah, been turned down, and moved on. But he just had to catch feelings. Creed Park was nearby, and Winn plopped down on the ground next to a tree at the edge of the park, the fading light and early summer breeze blowing against them. He patted the spot next to him, looking up at Noah. “C’mon, sit with me.” Winn smiled gently. The Twister game had given him some hope, and he was half-sure that Noah had guessed already, but he had to push forward. “Noah, I think you’re my best friend,” he started, completely ignoring the actual issue. “So, I want you to know. You’re important to me. More important than I really thought would happen when we me— Actually. No. That’s not true.” He laughed, his head thunking against the bark of the tree. “I met you, and I knew. I didn’t know what, but something told me… You were important. Are important.”

Walking along with Winn, Noah could start to feel his heart start to beat rapidly in his chest again. He shouldn’t be nervous, but with all this build up and tension, and that fucking sudden realization that Winn actually liked him, had his head spinning. Because Luke was right, they’d been dancing around each other unable to admit what was truly going on. “Winn,” Noah started taking a deep calming breath, “if you’re gonna say what I think you’re gonna say, just—” He stopped for a moment glancing over at Winn, brown eyes meeting brown “Just say it, please.” It came out softly, part of Noah pleading for Winn just to do it, and another part scared of what it would mean when the giant ass elephant was finally out in the room.

Oh. He does know. Winn’s heart was heavy-light — fluttering and hopeful, but slack and stony. But there was something about Noah’s eyes, the way that the setting sun was shining soft light on both of their bodies. It made Winn bold, giddy, nervous. He was going to die. Or maybe… “Noah,” Winn said, like a revelation. Well, why the fuck not? The werewolf closed the distance between him and his best friend, the person he’d falle— Oh, but, the kiss. Noah’s lips were so, so soft, the slightest hint of chocolate on the man’s breath. When he didn’t get punched or pushed away, Winn brought his hand up to Noah’s face, his other arm tentatively resting at Noah’s side. He wasn’t going to move further, not without Noah’s permission, without Noah kissing back, but he wanted to stay in this moment of pure, crystalline happiness. Winn felt himself smiling into the kiss.

For Noah, everything happened in slow motion, Winn’s face coming forward, their lips meeting in the middle. Kissing Winn was not like any woman he’d ever kissed. Where there usually was softness, Winn was full of edges, sometimes sharp, and sometimes dull. It was scary how much Noah liked it. How much he could now see just how fucking gone he was for this man. There was no doubt about it. Noah wasn’t straight. Noah wasn’t straight, and there was a part of him, however small, that loved Winn. And now that that door was open, there was no closing it. Sitting there trying to hold himself together, with his own arousal and all these other complex feelings overwhelming him Noah just took a deep breath. Neither had moved since this started, but Noah knew they couldn’t just continue without talking about what happened. Winn wasn’t just some quick fuck, and this wasn’t something Noah could bury. “I’ve never kissed a man before, Winn.” Noah trailed off shaking his head slightly. “I mean, judging from this I don’t think I’d be opposed but, I don’t….Fuck…. This is not a good answer is it?” Noah looked down. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Winn by not being able to reciprocate in the way he knew he should. But this was all so difficult and honestly frightening.

If Winn was being honest, the kiss had left him in a bit of a daze. When Noah had kissed back, however briefly the moment had lasted, Winn realized, damnably, that he could kiss Noah for the rest of his fuckin’ life. The gigawatt smile hadn’t left his face, even as Noah started talking about being scared. Winn had been here, before. Not in the same way, no, but he could stow his attraction for a moment, focus on his friend in front of him, nervous and confused, and offer him what he had been given: Support. “That’s alright, Noah,” he started, hand coming to Noah’s shoulder, rubbing the tension out as best he could. “You don’t need a perfect answer. We all have to… figure out shit out, y’know?” He wanted to hug the other man, but knew he should hold off, if only for the moment. “It’s alright to be… however, you’re feeling, right now.” He understood, really, he did. This was far from the worst case scenario he’d run through in his head, far from the worst case probable scenario, too. “I don’t need you to be anything more than you already are, Noh. Because… I really like the person you are. Forgot to say that, ‘cause I figured… actions, y’know?” He laughed, a quiet and private thing, only for Noah’s ears. Winn ran his fingers through the grass at his hips, picking at the blades with his fingers. “I— There’s no one else I’d rather be next to, right now. No matter how you feel about me.” He paused, looking back up and into Noah’s eyes, before saying with a soft smile, “Or… don’t feel.”

“But you deserve a perfect answer” The phrase was out of Noah’s mouth before he could stop himself, before he realized how ridiculous he sounded. Winn was right afterall, he didn't need to have it all figured out today, or tomorrow. He just needed to be himself. “Sorry I’m just-” He started not really knowing what he wanted to say but knowing something needed to be said “I’m used to holding everything together so well, and ever since i met you..” Noah trailed off leaning back against the tree with a sigh. Winn apparently had a whirlwind effect on his life. Watching him be vulnerable though, and supportive, brought Winn into a new light for Noah. One where he could see them, working through all of these  issues together. But first Noah had to be real with himself, and real with Winn, even if it was in his own way. “Well considering I’m having a complete sexual crisis over your dumbass,” Noah huffed playfully “ think it’s safe to say I feel some type of way Winn.” Because yea, how could Winn even begin to fathom that Noah didn’t like him back? Looking over at the other man, Noah stilled his hand with his own, his curiosity making him feel brave “What do you like about me?” He asked gently.

Winn felt himself flush again, and he leaned his head into Noah’s shoulder, groaning. “C’mon, bro. You can’t just say shit like that, and expect me not to feel like this.” To fall in love with you, he didn’t say. Not yet. “I haven’t… felt this way about someone in a really long time, Noh,” he said gently, knowing the other man could hear him. There was something about this, leaned into Noah’s shoulder, that made it easier to say all of this aloud. Noah’s hand on his was warm, and Winn turned his up to grab the man’s hand with his own, rubbing circles once again, tracing nonsense lines to hide his nervousness. For someone who spent half his life dealin’ with others’ emotions, he’d never been amazin’ with his own. “What wouldn’t I like about you?” he said, perhaps a little too honestly. And then, clearer, “You’re not afraid to call me on my shit, but you never stop… caring, when you do. You love animals, and are such a bleedin’ heart that I worry I might have t’patch you up sometimes. You’re smart and a smartass. I laugh when I’m around you more. I feel good, and safe, and… happy.” He took his hand off the man’s shoulder, looking at him again, head cocked. “Don’t get me wrong, I want to do bad things to you, Kalani, but I want to, y’know, do good things to you too. For you.” It wasn’t quite an asking out, but it was as close to a confession as he’d said, so far. Winn squeezed Noah’s hand tight, leaning back against the tree to look at the horizon. “A crisis, huh?” His tone was light, but he wouldn’t dare make fun of Noah for this.

Resting his head against Winn’s own, Noah chuckled at the other man’s discomfort, a genuine smile gracing his lips. He didn't know how they got to this point, but he was glad they had. Feelling his cheeks burn scarlet with the force of Winn’s description, Noah was glad the other man couldn’t see him right now. He’d never had anyone describe their infatuation with him quite like that, and it made him feel, well, seen. He was more than just a nice-looking body to Winn. That felt good. It was then that Winn brought him back to the real problem at hand, the one Noah was still scared to admit out loud. “Yeah,” he whispered, wishing this was easier, wishing he was less confused. Lifting his head from Winn’s, Noah had a sudden realization. “Winn. Can I... uh, do something?” Noah asked a gleam of mischievous energy in his eyes. He was mostly sure by this point, but there was still a part of him that wanted to know concretely, to prove that it wasn’t a fluke somehow. “Promise you’ll enjoy it.”

Winn had Noah blushing at his (genuine, heart-felt) smooth-talking, and he couldn’t help the return of his goofy, open, maybe-a-little-bit-in-love smile. They would be okay, no matter what happened. He knew that. And Winn got an answer — though not all of one — the next time Noah opened his mouth. The whispered ‘Yeah.’ Winn inhaled, sharp and interested. Fuck. That was… a lot to take in. Or would have been, if Winn’s brain hadn’t been immediately guided to the gutter. Do something? He really liked the sound of that. “Oh yeah?” he said, countering the look in Noah’s eyes with a toothy grin, reflecting back the ask, the challenge. Winn leaned back, into Noah’s side, Winn’s body spread out beneath the white ash for any of Noah’s somethings. “Promises, promises,” Winn said with a wink, looking up at the other man. This time, truly, nobody was around. It was just them, and all the time in the world to find answers. Winn leaned up, close to Noah’s ear. “Baby,” he said, a whisper in the wind, Winn tryin’ out the word in his mouth, “I’d enjoy just about anything you did to me. So…” He chuckled, rough, trying to communicate how much he wanted. “Make your move, Kalani.”

If there was a time for Noah to be brave, that time would definitely be now, especially as Winn gave him full permission to explore. Turning his body, Noah gently angled Winn’s face with his hand, looking into his eyes for a brief second before pressing their lips together again. He didn’t know what he wanted, and he didn't know if this was going to answer all the questions swirling in his head, but at the moment Noah didn’t care. Because right now he was kissing Winn, slowly and sensually, using his tongue to explore and open Winn up in ways he hadn’t even thought about till now. He didn’t usually kiss his partners like this. No, Noah was usually more of a fast and hard kind of lover. But with Winn. Goddamn it was just so different with Winn, and while that was scary to realize, it was also something Noah knew he wanted. He wanted a lot as evidenced by the rising tent in his board shorts. Yeah. He was definitely into kissing dudes. Tugging softly on Winn’s lip, Noah opened his eyes and pulled away, lungs suddenly filling with the air he’d forgotten he needed to breath. “Mmm, not your baby,” Noah whispered with a cheeky grin before turning and settling against the tree.

Winn’s eyes crinkled at the edges with his smile as Noah kissed him. Mm. Strike maybe. Winn really could kiss Noah forever. The other man’s mouth moved against his with simultaneous experience and hesitation, something that Winn could lean into easily. Especially when Noah slipped him tongue. Winn kissed back eagerly, trying to balance his need (and fuck, these shorts were going to strain) against wanting this moment to stretch and stretch. As Noah pulled away, gently biting into Winn’s lip, Winn chased him, nipping back playfully. Winn almost wanted to tell Noah it was a wolf thing, that biting was heavily encouraged. But he didn’t want to break the moment, not yet. Instead, he gazed down to where Noah’s interest was making itself known. Huh. Well, one to four wasn’t an awful record. Be plenty of time to even the score. “Hmm.” Feeling bold, Winn grabbed Noah, squeezing once through the shorts before letting go again. “Don’t think bein’ called baby is really goin’ to be a problem, baby,” he teased, savoring Noah’s reaction, drinking in the other man’s presence. He leaned back, side pressed into Noah’s, eyes closed in happiness. “Answer any questions for you, Noh? Or do you need further testin’?”

Snorting, Noah rolled his eyes. Winn’s hand had sent a shockwave straight through his system, blood already pooling in his groin. “Bruh, that’s not helping the predicament,” Noah chided with a snort, not brushing Winn’s hand away but stilling it yet again with his own. Because, yeah. Dick touching was next on the agenda, but he might need a few moments to adjust to that. “I think I’m good, for now,” he started, hoping Winn would get the hint, not that he thought he wouldn’t, it was just. It was different. For once in his life, Noah didn’t want to go zero to sixty and hop in bed with the first person who showed interest. He wanted to savor every interaction, build memories that would last, and all that jazz.  

“Didn’t want to help, bro,” Winn said, a low rumble as he squeezed Noah’s hand in his own, resting both of them on Noah’s thigh. Far away, and so, so close. “I like to make things harder for you.” He mentally high-fived himself for his pun, before smiling at Noah. “I get that,” he said thoughtfully. Winn, again, ran his thumb across the back of Noah’s hand, hoping to communicate so much with that gentle, almost tentative, action. I want this. I want you. I’ll give you whatever you need. Time. Or all of me. The thoughts were big, heavy, and warm in his heart. He wouldn’t dare admit it yet, but he knew how he felt about Noah, how much he felt about Noah. It was his turn to be scared — scared of fucking it up, scared of somehow ruinin’ Noah for other men. If there were other men. (Winn hoped there weren’t other men.) But his fear didn’t last long, as he turned and pressed one more gentle kiss to the corner of Noah’s mouth, all he could think about was how lucky he was, that all this shit had been leadin’ to somethin’, leadin’ to this. He rested his head on Noah’s shoulder, back scratching through the mesh against the bark of the tree, and, softly but with all the sincerity he could muster, Winn said, “Noah…” A soft chuckle, content and affectionate. “This is the part where I ask you to go out with me. Pretty please, sweetheart?” And the nickname tasted like chocolate on his tongue.

[mcthmanscousin]

❛ ✶ ( BOOBOO STEWART , CIS MALE , HE/HIM )  —  did you see JOEL SAITO walking around campus earlier ? i hear a lot of people talking about the TWENTY ONE year oldSOPHOMORE . from what i know , they are studying UNDECLARED and are a part of DELTA PSI BETA . they come across as + GENIAL but also - AIMLESS , which makes sense because on their instagram ( @MOTHMANSCOUSIN ) it says they are an AQUARIUS . when i see them , i think of BLOWN OUT SPEAKERS THUMPING TAME IMPALA THROUGH A MARIJUANA-CLOUDED TOYOTA SIENNA, THE KISS OF SALT ON YOUR LIPS AND THE GRIT OF SAND BETWEEN YOUR TEETH AFTER WIPING OUT ON A PARTICULARLY ROUGH WAVE, & SPEAKING OF CRYPTIDS AS IF THEY WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND RECOUNTING CONSPIRACY THEORIES LIKE OLD BEDTIME STORIES. the most interesting thing i’ve heard about them though , is the fact that [REDACTED] , but don’t tell anyone i told you that .

howdy everyone, i’m kayla and i 100% chose the above gif bc it looks like booboo’s sarcastically saying “joel” and we love synchronicity in this house! anyway, it’s been over a year since i’ve been in a rp group, so i’m by all accounts rusty, BUT i’m good for plots and wiener dog pics, soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. anyway, feel free to slide into my ims or like this post and i’ll hit up your ims and we can plot there or move the party to discord. whatever makes you most comfy :) and without further ado, lemme introduce this lil meme of a man:

BACKSTORY:

Born in Oahu, Hawaii as the second child of a marine biologist named Jiro and a spa owner named Cynthia. Siblings are his brother Callum (23) and sister Jocelyn (20).

From a young age, his father instilled an interest for marine life in he and his siblings by taking them to tide pools and teaching them about the creatures that resided there. As the children aged, the boys found themselves venturing deeper into the water, taking up surfing lessons.

What started as a fun hobby that the brothers could bond over turned into a full blown sibling rivalry, one that Joel never seemed to have the upper hand on.

By all accounts, Joel was a talented surfer but never talented enough to place in any competitions. He’d laugh it off or offer a convincing “I’ll beat your ass next time” to his brother but years of taunting and poking and prodding at his inadequacy wore on him. Eventually he just stopped trying to be good at anything?

Easily distracted and disinterested in anything he wasn’t close to obsessed with, school never came easy to him. So, he just kinda stopped trying as much over the years, barely skating by with Cs. He and his friends would skip class, smoke weed, spray paint dicks on the cars of people they didn’t like, and just continually dare each other to do stupid shit.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Joel found something he was good at: entertaining. He had an impeccable ability to make his friends laugh by being a loose cannon who was down for absolutely anything. And admittedly, he liked the validation, so he just never said no no matter how ridiculous or illegal the suggestion was. He still carries this habit to this day. Peer pressure? A lifelong friend of Joel’s.

Life goes by fast when you’re not prepared for literally anything, and before Joel knew it, he’d graduated high school and had to make college plans. So, he applied to the out-of-state college one of his cousins was attending: Beaumont.

And he’s been a menace to the campus ever since. :)

QUICK STATS:

Full Name: Joel Darwin Saito

Birthday: February 1, 1999

Sun, moon, & rising sign: Aquarius sun, Leo moon, Sagittarius rising

MBTI: ENFP

Enneagram: 7w6

Moral Alignment: chaotic neutral

Sexual & Romantic Orientation: bisexual/biromantic

Languages Spoken: English, some Japanese and Hawaiian Pidgin

TRIVIA:

He once broke his right leg and sprained his left ankle jumping off of his friend’s roof trying to land in the pool. His ankle still makes a weird clicking noise to this day.

Once tried to follow what he thought was a UFO he saw after drinking some shroom tea and got lost in a forest and was lost for like 3 hours until someone who was walking a trail found him lying on the ground, thinking he was homeless or dead.

The first seed of his love of mythology/lore/conspiracy/cryptids was actually planted when he watched “The Little Mermaid” with his younger sister. He had a lil crush on Ariel as a kid, going as far as to plan a life as a pirate in search of finding her and the two of them falling in love and spreading knowledge of ocean conservation efforts. His sister still teases him about it to this day.

Actually learned how to give really good massages from working part time at his mother’s spa the summer before he went away to college.

Wears a lot of Hawaiian shirts for the irony and will chastise someone for criticizing “the garb of my people” if someone has something to say about it.

Has a beta fish named Alpha and a Red Ear Slider Turtle named Madame Chickpea Stevens who he nicknamed Chicky.

CONNECTIONS:

Cousin: Admittedly, Joel’s parents have little faith in his ability to not get into trouble over dumb shit while being so far away. So, they probably asked his cousin to keep an eye out for him. Whether they enable him or prove to be a good influence? Your call.

Bros: Could be his frat brothers, could be friends in another frat or sorority. Regardless, these are his close knit friends who he hits up at 3a.m. to go get Burger King with him when he can’t sleep, do face masks after getting obscenely high together, or get into shenanigans they’ll regret the next day.

Ex(es): Could’ve ended because they decided they were better off as friends, could’ve ended because Joel can’t take anything seriously to save his life and your muse got tired of it, or could’ve ended for another reason entirely.

Hookups/Friend with Benefits: Self explanatory. He has needs.

Good influence: A friend who tries to have him take life seriously for 2 seconds and maybe consider his future because they’re concerned for him.

Tutor: Someone to help him cram before a test because he actually has to be there and take those.

Customers: Does your muse smoke weed and need a dealer? Well, here he is.

[maiaisbia]

jimon with 42~

“I’m going to save you from the terrible date you’re having.”

Ah… Anon this is probably not what you were thinking of when you sent this request. This ended up having a pretty big focus on identity, with romantic fluff. I had a great time writing it though, so thank you! I hope you enjoy!

from this prompt list | on ao3

It was going on thirty minutes now, and Jace didn’t know how much longer he could take watching the trainwreck. He couldn’t guess which one of them thought a date together would work, but it was clear that it was not going well. Simon looked uncomfortable and Meliorn looked bored.

“Are you going to do something, or am I going to have to get involved?” Maia asked, leaning on the bar across from Jace. “Because I can play the jealous ex lover, but I would really rather not.”

“If I do it, will you promise to stop spitting in my drinks?” Jace joked, glancing at his beer.

“No, but I’ll reduce spit drinks by 50%,” Maia grinned.

“Does that mean 50% less spit in the drinks or half my drinks will be spit free?”

“Let a girl have a little bit of mystery,” she pushed off the counter with a wink and moved to attend to a new customer.

Jace could only shake his head and smile, before downing the rest of his beer. Standing up, he moved to the corner table Simon and Meliorn were sitting at. They both looked up as he approached with relief. Jace didn’t know if he should be worried or flattered.

“Which one of us are you coming to whisk away?” Meliorn asked, resting his chin on his hands and turning his pretty eyes up to Jace. Simon was just watching Jace with a soft smile, a little bit of fang sticking out.

“Ah, Simon,” Jace said, resting a hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Should I even bother coming up with some excuse like a mission he is needed on?”

“No…” Meliorn pouted dramatically now, “Pity you didn’t choose me. One day, Jace.”

“Nah man, you slept with my sister, that’s a no go,” Jace laughed. “Come on Simon, you have a video game to beat my ass at?”

“Yeah, okay!” Simon stood, slipping his coat on. Jace dropped some cash on the table to cover for both their drinks. “Um, see you ‘round Meliorn.”

“Goodbye daylighter,” Meloirn said, waving at them both as Jace ushered Simon out the door.

“See it’s things like that why it wasn’t working!” Simon said, gesturing at Hunters Moon. “He kept calling me daylighter. That’s like. The most uncool pet name ever. Plus who even uses pet names on a first date?”

“I don’t know why you even went on a date with him,” Jace said, and fell in step as Simon turned in the direction of his apartment.

“I don’t either, I guess I haven’t really dated guys in the shadow world and he seemed like a pretty safe start,” Simon said, running a hand through his hair and messing it up. “I dated a couple guys in highschool, so back when I was a mundane. It was pretty common to be queer in the artsy circles I was in, you know? Accepted, normalized. Then I end up a fucking vampire, and it’s a whole new set of rules! Shadowhunters, big no go, though that’s changing a bit. Warlocks, seelies, and vampires? Very accepting. I mean, you can see it in the leadership! Werewolves, pretty much like mundanes. Gotta be careful, some are chill and some are assholes.”

Jace tried to keep up with all that, because Simon’s hands were moving and he was talking pretty fast. But he thought he got it. “So you’re bisexual like Magnus?”

“I identify as pansexual,” Simon caught Jace’s look of confusion and continued. “It’s pretty similar, yeah? Bi you’re attracted to your own and other genders. Gender comes into play in attraction, like people may feel attraction differently towards men vs. women vs. nonbinary folks. Pan, it’s like… gender doesn’t play a big part in your attraction to someone. So in both cases, bi and pan people tend to be able to fall in love with people of any gender, but they feel the attraction to the person or people they love a little differently.”

Jace nodded, again not sure he was picking up all the nuances but understanding the gist. “Okay man.”

“Too much of a crash course?” Simon asked, nudging Jace with his elbow and grinning.

“Nah,” Jace said, and then huffed. “Okay I’m going to say something and it might sound shitty.”

Simon visibly tensed but nodded. “Okaaayyy? Not ominous at all and I reserve the right to punch you.”

“I always thought my attraction to guys was bleed through from Alec,” he muttered, glancing to Simon. Simon didn’t seem upset, so Jace took a deep breath and tried to explain what he had only ever thought about. “I didn’t live around a lot of people until the Lightwoods adopted me, and I didn’t really think about crushes until years later. Alec and I were bonded pretty young, so I just assumed that when I thought a guy was hot or cute or whatever, it was from him.” Jace snorted, shaking his head. “But you know what I’ve realized since? Alec and I have a completely different taste in dudes. Like he’ll be zeroed in on Magnus and I feel nothing except his distant happiness.”

Jace didn’t add that Simon was probably the last (male) person on Earth Alec would be attracted to. But boy, did Jace find himself watching Simon, smiling at his jokes, feeling butterflies when he was around, all that dumb shit. That was definitely just on Jace.

Simon, to Jace’s surprise and relief, was nodding, “That actually makes sense. You Shadowhunters are such a heteronormative culture… It’d be confusing.”

Jace shook his head. “Well thanks for the validation I guess.”

“Dude,” Simon just rolled his eyes, turning and jogged up the steps to his apartment. Their conversation had certainly killed some time. “I appreciate you trusting me to come out to me.”

“Whatever,” Jace huffed, though he felt oddly lighter. “I don’t know I like any of the labels you’ve said.”

“That’s fine,” Simon held the door open and Jace slipped passed him. The stairs creaked as they went up to the second floor. “You’ll just find what works for you.”

Jace drew the unlock rune before Simon pulled out his keys. Walking in, he found the place was changed from the last time he was there. “There’s a fish tank and it’s cleaner in here.”

“Yeah, if I don’t do my share of the chores Maia makes me pay a bigger portion of the rent,” Simon flopped on the couch. “Which is fair, and a good motivator because I don’t make much from my gigs.” He gestures to the TV setup. “But she’s a great roommate, and Maia means the game and console collection has doubled!”

Jace crouched and flicked through what was there. He didn’t know how it had been so easy to talk to Simon about things he hadn’t ever tried to put into words before. And now they were just going to play games, maybe order out, like nothing had changed.

Because it hadn’t. And that was just what Jace wanted. He slipped Call of Duty into the PS4 (he had started to figure out all the systems), and grabbed two controllers. Tossing one to Simon as he walked to the couch, he whacked at Simon’s legs. “Move over.”

“No,” Simon said, snagged the spot of player one. He remained firmly lying across the whole couch. He lifted his legs up after a moment and Jace sighed. As soon as he sat, he found Simon’s legs in his lap.

Jace didn’t push Simon away, in fact it felt… nice. Jace relaxed, resting his arms on Simon’s legs. “We’re playing the zombie version.”

“Oh player 2, you will be doing whatever I dictate,” Simon said, but selected the zombie campaign anyway. “Aren’t you tired of fighting these types of things?”

Jace shrugged. “I find it weirdly relaxing. No one’s life is actually on the line.”

“That’s fair,” Simon flicked through the options, yawning. As the game loaded, Simon said, “Hey thanks for the save back there. This is a much more fun way to spend the evening.”

“Any time,” Jace said, and took a breath. “For the record, if I took you out on a date, it would have been much better.”

“Oh yeah?” Simon said, and he wasn’t laughing like Jace worried he might. “If we were on a date, what’d we do?”

“Something like this,” Jace said, stabbing a zombie on screen. “Sometimes a fancy restaurant or a movie or something, but mostly just this. I would have planned ahead and brought good beer though, that’d be the difference.”

“You know? That sounds pretty nice,” Simon paused the game. He sat up and pulled his legs away. Before Jace could mourn the loss of contact, Simon was nearly in his face. “We’re all so busy, any downtime is precious.”

“Yeah,” Jace said, and it came out a lot breathier than he wanted. His eyes flick down to Simon’s mouth before quickly looking back at Simon’s eyes. “Um.”

Simon’s smile was soft. “You know what would really salvage my date night?”

“Take out?” Jace asked, but let Simon take the controller out of his hand.

“I was thinking more along the lines of you kissing me,” Simon said, little shrug of his shoulders. “If you wanted to.”

“I could do that,” Jace swallowed.

“Too late, I’m going to kiss you instead,” Simon’s smile was a little lopsided now.

Kissing that smile might just be the best thing Jace had done in a very long while.

[theworldinclines]

yo! i've been following your tumblr mostly just for cql because aha :^) you know how it is :^) but it's left a void in my chest. i know you rb a lot of content for other shows, so i figured i'd ask you for some recs (and the best places to watch them uwu)!! thanks so much i'd die for u

Hello anon!! I totally get you 💀 I’m gonna assume that you want me to rec BLs, so I’ll tell you only the ones that I’ve liked best and why, where I watched them, and possible trigger warnings as well for you :)

So first up is my favorite: Theory of Love

Who stars in it: Off Jumpol (as Kai) and Gun Atthaphan (as Third), aka OffGun, aka icons and best friends who we stan to this very day

Why I recommend: I adore this show for so many reasons but overall the vibe is just so good dfhkhkhj It references like a trillion rom-coms and I won’t spoil it but there is a literal montage of some classic rom-com scenes done by the main characters that is just so fucking hysterical, I cry every time. There’s also a compilation here of movie posters that they recreated to imitate some classic rom-coms as well, which made me DIE from emotions I tell you what. This show is just so funny and makes fun of itself with characters that you genuinely grow to adore. Kai is a chaotic dumb of ass bisexual and we love him in this house (as infuriating as he can be lmfao). It’s so rewatchable GOD 10/10 would recommend.

Warnings: There is no sexual abuse in the show of any kind, except for one scene that is just a kiss and very mild, so I think you’d be all good there. :)

Where to watch: I watched it on YouTube! Here’s the link to episode one part one

History3: Trapped

Who stars in it: Jake Hsu (plays Shao Fei) and Chris Wu (plays Tang Yi), aka weirdos who can’t stop laughing while filming and being dumb in general and I love that for them and me

Why I recommend: I loved it. The main couple is adorable with so much chemistry and I will be totally honest, they remind me SO MUCH of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Like on the rewatch I just did of this show, I couldn’t believe the similarities the character Shao Fei has to Wei Wuxian and his counterpart Tang Yi has to Lan Wangji. Like. When I tell you I was shook the house, I mean it. But the side couple is ALSO iconic the house and the CUTEST like if you don’t want to adopt Zhao Zi and also officiate his wedding by the show’s end, I’d be shocked dfhhkghdjkl All in all, it’s such a funny show with very tender, heartfelt moments that are to die for. This show has it all: plot twists, cops falling in love with mobsters and vice versa, a character whose goal in life is to just eat as much good food as possible… amazing.

Warnings: The show has fighting and violence but seeing as you watched The Untamed, I’m assuming you’re okay with it lol There is an instance where one character tries to rape one of the leads by drugging him, so keep an eye out for that, but I think it will be obvious because he starts to pass out and you will know whether you feel you have to skip the scene or not. He isn’t undressed, it isn’t anything remotely graphic, but he is groped by the asshole I won’t name man fuck that guy but that’s all!

Where to watch: I watched it on newasiantv, link to ep1 here

Dark Blue Kiss

Who stars in it: Fluke Gawin Caskey (Mork) and Podd Suphakorn (Sun) aka two of the most gorgeous and sweet dudes alive fdhgldfhgdk AND BL vets, New Thitipoom (Kao) and Tay Tawan (Pete)

First off: dshhgdksj If you haven’t seen Kiss Me Again or Kiss the Series you might be a little confused. Dark Blue Kiss is sort-of-a-continuation-but-not-really of those other two series, and it sort of adds to the experience if you have seen them. If you want to, just watch Kiss Me Again and I think you’ll be okay honestly; it’s just because you might want context of the characters (Pete and Kao, their friends etc.) and their relationships to one another going into Dark Blue Kiss.

Why I recommend: NOW two of the leads, Sun and Mork, have one of The Best relationships in any BL I’ve ever seen because they have real conversations and have real conflict and issues that they work to get through. Rain (Sun’s younger bro and Mork’s bestie) is an absolute delight and their story arc throughout the show is so iconic we just have to stan. I won’t get into Kao and Pete fhhkhdj because I just have Opinions on fucking w characters/relationships for the sake of drama and that’s what I think this series did to them, unnecessarily ahem But otherwise it’s funny and real and again if you dont literally love Mork and Rain and Sun by the end of it did you even watch the same show???

Warnings: There is a brief scene where one character tries to get w another who is like get tf AWAY weirdo lmfao but there is no actual abuse bc they are stopped well in time to avoid it

Where to watch: I watched Dark Blue Kiss on newasiantv as well because the episodes on YouTube tended to not get subbed as quickly as I wanted which you will understand if you watch this lmao. Here is the link to episode one of Kiss Me Again as well as a link to episode one of Kiss the Series if you feel like watchin those two beforehand

Tharntype the Series

Who stars in it: Gulf Kanawut (Type) and Mew Suppasit (Tharn) aka those two guys who you might see do a shit ton of fanservice that I diligently ignore because I hate fanservice lol This show exists in the same universe as another BL that I am reluctant to put on here lol but will get into later on.

Why I recommend: BEFORE YALL FLAY ME ALIVE djkhgldhgfdjhhkjd OKAY LISTEN genuinely, on a very real level, I FULLY understand why a lot of people here refused to watch this show or couldn’t finish it. You’re totally valid and legit I almost stopped after ten minutes because I was like here we go AGAIN. However! I was so drawn in by the acting that I wanted to give it a chance, and I’m SO GLAD that I did. Gulf and Mew, as well as Mild (who plays Techno) and Kaownah (who plays Lhong) and everyone else who acts in this show, is incredible and their chemistry is insane. I would say it’s some of the best chemistry and acting I’ve seen, BL or otherwise. You get angry at the two main characters interchangeably and I truly feel that that makes it real, you know what I mean? There is no oh he’s in the right, fuck that other guy 100% for either of them. They are both real, flawed men who grow so immensely throughout this series where by the end you’re so proud of their development and the love they find for themselves and in each other??? Because it doesn’t feel like we’ll get there, but they DO. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. We’re getting a second season, which to me is always a tad worrisome because I do think it ended very well and if they fuck with everything (cough KaoPete) just to fuck with it and stir the pot I’m gonna be Upset. But for now, it’s amazing and speaks on topics that aren’t ever addressed. It’s an unfortunate reality in BL that the way so many relationships begin is through sketchy-consensual (drunk, coerced) or flat out like non consensual sexual shit, and this show dives into the aftermath of sexual abuse, the mental impact that has on a person, and how damaging it can be if left unattended. I would give it a chance. I really do think it’s a well done series. Oh and Techno is so relatable and the only one with a brain cell in this show half the time jkdfhhdlkj

Warnings: Like I said, this show is not an easy watch at times. Very often, in fact, it can be difficult. There is homophobic language, two of the characters (I dont want to spoil everything) have been raped in the past, one as a child (which is NOT GRAPHICALLY SHOWN, don’t worry) and the other as a teenager/young adult, which is sort of shown but not in too much detail. Another character in present day “does stuff” to another that isn’t totally consensual, more than once (which is probably my biggest problem with the show and the one thing I really can’t excuse because like bro I don’t care how big your crush is, don’t be an asshole, point blank), but every other sexual thing in the show is consensual and very much wanted

Where to watch: Here is episode one on newasiantv if you want to give this a shot :)

He’s Coming to Me

Who stars in it: Singto Prachaya (Mes) and Ohm Pawat (Thun) aka just two adorable boys

Why I recommend: This show definitely has one of the more unique plots among BLs. I won’t spoil it, and as with all of these I recommend going in without looking up plots because like I know for me movie trailers etc just tell me everything and there doesn’t seem to be a point in watching the movie if I know so much beforehand. The main characters are cute together, there are funny moments and moments that make you cry. And it’s a happy ending, which we love to see :)

Warnings: There is a major character death, no blood though, and you will understand in context that it isn’t as bad as it seems right now lol Nothing that isn’t consensual, which is a miracle in these shows. Overall wholesome content. There is like a weird storyline with one of the character’s moms which was Different to say the least dfjhdflhgkjf but it didn’t ruin the show for me or anything

Where to watch: newasiantv seems to be my go-to lmao

3 Will Be Free

Who stars in it: Joss Way-Ar (Neo), Mild Lapassalan (Miw), and Tay Tawan (Shin). If you watch Dark Blue Kiss or any of those before this, you will recognize Tay and Mild as Pete and Sandee (just friends in those shows). Joss is just such a funny, sweet guy and so is Tay Lowkey biased for them and I honestly often favor TayJoss’ chemistry over TayNew, which I think is controversial lmfaoo but it has to be said lol and obviously Mild is a badass actress and talent so having her here is amazing

Why I recommend: So this is the only BL thus far to feature a polyamorous relationship, which is sort of crazy but I’m so happy it’s been done at least once now. The three have such amazing chemistry and you really grow to care for each of them as individuals as well. They’re just really awesome and I adore them and miss them every day fdjghfdglhkjd There’s also a trans actress!! :D

Warnings: There is quite a bit of gun violence bc one of the character’s father’s is a mob boss. Two side characters are killed, one much further into the show so it hurts even MORE, and one of the other side characters therefore to me doesn’t receive the ending they deserve; it was very messy and I think they deserved better. A woman is in an abusive marriage to a man, which sucked and I skipped a lot of it even though it wasn’t necessarily super violent. I just don’t like that stuff ://

Where to watch: Surprise surprise, newasiantv

Until We Meet Again

Who stars in it: Fluke Natouch (Pharm) and Ohm Thitiwat (Dean), Earth Katsamonnat (Intouch) and Nine Noppakao (Korn). Fluke and Earth invented being friends like……they are so fucking cute and they are both actually queer (have been in public relationships with men) which is always so rare to see and really great :)

Why I recommend: Side couple TeamWin is absolutely iconic. I adore them with my whole body so if for nothing else, watch it for them LMAO But for real InKorn is such a cute couple and PharmDean has a very nice relationship too; they talk about consent and have healthy communication which is so refreshing lmao

Warnings: The show does open with a double suicide by gunshot. I won’t say who, but it is in there. The two main characters have flashbacks/PTSD/nightmares (one worse than the other) which you will understand in context if you watch, but it’s definitely worth the watch

Where to watch: This show is currently airing and I watch it on YouTube; here’s the link to episode one part one

Love By Chance

Who stars in it: Perth Tanapon (Ae) and Saint Suppapong (Pete), Mean Phiravich (Tin) and Plan Rathavit (Can). This is the show that is in the same universe as Tharntype, but the actors who play Techno, Tharn, and Type are different actors in this show than from Tharntype. It’s confusing and messy lol

Warning: I’m putting this before the why I like it because I think it’s necessary for this one. I hesitate to even put LBC on here because there is so much of this show that just makes me uncomfortable. When I first watched this show, the second BL I had ever watched, I had no knowledge of BLs, the actors, or really anything to do with any of this world. So, having grown up with film/tv life where every actor is 27 playing 17, it didn’t occur to me that the actor playing 18 would in fact be 17 instead. Perth was I think 17 or possibly 18 while filming (I don’t know exact dates), which includes sexual scenes that I didn’t even feel comfortable watching BEFORE I knew his age, let alone trying to rewatch the series while knowing about it. I am 20, and was 19 last year when I watched this, so it really skeeves me out to watch those kinds of scenes (BL or otherwise) if actors or actresses aren’t at least 18 or 19. It seems weird because I’m 20 and a queer girl, not like a 50 year old pedophile or something like that, but for my own comfort I tend to skip the more explicit stuff. On my first watch, I skipped the Tharntype, TumTar, and Techno storyline because frankly I didn’t care. Going on to watch Tharntype the Series, I was even happier to have skipped so that I didn’t have to go in with a preconceived idea of the characters from having watched LBC. One of the characters in this version of events is raped or coerced into sex; I don’t even know the details because I just couldn’t be bothered to give it a chance. I firmly believe you can watch this show without watching any of their storylines (and skipping over the more sexual stuff, if you feel you have to), which I know sucks to say bc the actors are all good and I like their other work and them as people, but I just couldn’t do it. It is of course up to you.

Why I recommend: Basically I recommend this just for TinCan lmao and on the chance that you do decide to watch Tharntype, it pays at the end to have a knowledge of the LBC characters because again they are in the same universe and it won’t be as cool if you don’t get it right away like WHAT!!! You know haha so yeah There is going to be a season two dropped sometime this year, focused I believe on TinCan, so I’m literally so fucking excited. Dreams are coming true

Where to watch: I found this show on both Dailymotion and newasiantv

Hey again anon it’s been a minute dfhlhghjd I’m sure this is way longer than you thought and probably don’t want HA but I wanted to be as thorough as possible for you and anyone else who might be new here you feel So some shows I didn’t get into that I watched include Great Men Academy, Together With Me, 2Moons and 2Moons2, Love Sick, ’Cause You’re My Boy (aka My Tee), History3: Make Our Days Count, SOTUS the Series, History2: Crossing the Line, (currently airing) Why R U?, and 2gether.

If you get through the ones I talked about above and want me to talk about these other ones, I’ll do that too!! I hope this helps you and others :D ✌️ ✌️

[anglophile-rin]

don’t trope me into this

tagged by @royedsasoei . Yay! Thanks! I love getting tagged in things and it never happens for any of those stupid Facebook ones, which makes you def top ten loves of my life ❤️❤️

However, the universe has once again asked the bisexual to choose things, and we all know how that goes...

Rules: Bold whichever trope you like the most (or hate the least if you’re not a huge fan of either) of the following pairs: 

Slow burn or Love at first sight? 

Ok, hear me out. So, like, Klaus lands his ass in Vietnam, tilts his head at the hot sleepy guy, and it's just "Oh no, he's pretty."

Dean stabs Castiel in the chest and again, "Oh no, he's pretty."

So, I guess what I mean is, I love a crush at first sight. But then slowly burn away at that love, my friends. Make me hurt with your need to JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY.

Fake dating or secret dating?

Gimme the danger! Gimme the sneaky, sexy stuff! But also, gimme the secret dating that's not really a secret so much as, they just never bothered to tell anyone and everyone's just really confused.

Enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers or enemies to friends to lovers? 

Maybe it's because I'm married to my best friend, maybe it's because my gay little heart realized 15 years too late that it was both gay and also had been in love with my high school best friend, but it just pleases me, damnit.

Oh no there’s only one bed or long distance correspondence?

Longing and phone calls and emails and texts (all fun to write, too, which helps) and whining pitifully to your siblings and friends and driving them bonkers. Yup. Hits the spot.

hurt/comfort or amnesia?

Whump has been in my soul since I had my first crush at two years old. Do you know how much little me delighted in Luke Skywalker having his hand cut off?? It was indecent. Add comfort from a loved one? I'm set.

Fantasy au or modern au? 

Both are great, but I have to really be in the mood for a fantasy AU. Modern is just so clean and easy.

mutual pining or domestic bliss? 

Can I say both?? I want them to pine and then I want them to have babies, DAMNIT.

smut or fluff?

Damnit. Both! I want both! Give me fluffy smut! Give me smutty fluff! Tenderly fuck and then cuddle, god DAMNIT.

But, if it must be one without the other, I suppose I'd have to go fluff. Though I get WAY more embarrassed reading a good fluff in public... 😬

canon-compliant or fix-it?

Listen. There is this thing called bury your gays, and I am not about that life. So I almost have to read fix-it just as a matter of necessity. But it has to be as canon-compliant as possible while fixing it.

Reincarnation or character death?

So, when I was young I watched a Disney Channel movie called Susie Q (I think) and the girl totally dies in the past (I think??) but then the guy sees basically her exactly in the future and first my little self was all "Woo! Her heart will go on!" but soon after I was like "Wait, that's kind of shitty, isn't it? Poor girl just being used as a replacement for a self she doesn't even remember." So, give me death. Plus, damn that grieving...

But if you're gonna reincarnate, you gotta reincarnate both of them again and again spanning centuries.

one-shot or multi-chapter?

The longer the better. Give me it ALL. 

kid fic or road trip?

I am SO SOFT for my favs being parents. SO SOFT. The kids have to be written well, which can be a chore, but kids. Do it.

sci-fi au or magic au?

Solely because I have read way more magic AU than sci-fi AU. Though I'm ready this SWU fix now....oh man....

Arranged marriage or accidental marriage?

Arranged marriage totally belongs in either enemies to lovers or arranged marriage to the wrong person. Some Romeo, Juliet and Paris shit up in here. Accidental marriage? That is pure of heart and dumb of ass and I am HERE for it, always. 

Time travel or isolated together?

This being said time travel involving Mr. David Katz will win out every time.

But yeah. Get snowed in, get trapped in an elevator, get lost in the woods, I think we're alone now.

High school romance or middle-aged romance?

I love a good high school AU, I really do. So much angst, and soft, younger versions of my favs. But that being said, middle-aged. Yes. Grown ass men (let's be real, I almost always read the gay boys) feeling like teenagers? Complications of adult life? Gimme gimme gimme.

body swap or genderbend? 

You did it. You offered the bisexual a choice and made her choose "neither." The only time I really can do genderbend is when it's temporary.

Angst or crack?

I can't do crack. I just can't. It's just...too silly. Too cringey.

Even if I could, though, I live for the angst. It feeds me.

Apocalyptic or mundane? 

Listen, shit is stressful enough. Just be in love, would you?

But apocalyptic can totally be fun, too...

tagging @frecklesandsuspenders @swiftseptember and anyone else who may want to do this! 

[elvesofnoldor]

im losing my entire fucking mind and i dont know anything abt myself anymore and why? why? all cause one day in undergrad, out of nowhere, i went “hey am i a woman?” like i was asking myself what flavour of cheesecake i wanted for dessert. That was like, right after i felt comfortable with the fact that im a lesbian. And the answer should have been simple and short: “yeah duh you dumb fucking bitch, why did you ask? why do you think asking this is fucking productive? forget about it!” But no, i decided to engage with the question and it opened a fucking pandora’s box, and this question latched onto me like a fucking parasite, because this question allows me to think about another crucial question im always afraid to ask myself: am i truly attracted to men? With lesbianism, i can answer this question with ease by saying, no, these flimsy “crushes” i have on like two or three boys when i was a child/teen were result of compulsory heterosexuality, boom, that’s it. simple! not to mention, i know that lesbians can experience attraction to men in the past and even had past relationship with men and still be lesbians, sometimes sexuality isn’t solid as a brick, and none of that should have mattered! 

 so yeah, lesbianism is the answer i LIKE, yet part of me is not satisfied with this answer! of course! why not! since when am i ever satisfied with anything EVER?  over time, i started to want a “man’s body” when i see a cis dude with bare chest in picture, and it seems like i started to identify more and more with...masculinity and manhood...in general? even fictional men? at times? i dont fucking know! its a huge mess! and confusing! and my memories are all blurry and false and twisted by my current perception. sure i think i always kind of aspire to “androgynous looks”, but i like being a lesbian! At first, i was like, maybe im a non binary lesbian cause oh baby i know im not bisexual-- i dont want to be with men, but i want to be with women and that’s a certainty. And i know i had one real crush in life--sure it brought me nothing but misery but i know i had one true crush and it was a girl, a friend, from my high school-- whereas my possible feelings abt real boys or fictional men are very flimsy in comparison. still, part of me started to think that perhaps i can only process these feelings i might have for other men/boys in the past if i can...idk see myself as another man? i dont fucking know! Literally, it’s the most unproductive thing to think about! More importantly, i did not fall in love with any real man nor do i want to fall in love with any man! but i still kept questioning myself about this, cause i kept having these strong feelings abt,  FICTIONAL MALE CHARACTERS. And idk, part of me was like, “maybe you’d be comfortable with your attraction to men if you...are a man?”, and yeah i actually engage with this line of fucking thinking. its so fucking embarrassing that MEN THAT ARE NOT REAL can have such ridiculous heavy impact on me, it’s fucking ridiculous and i hate it!!! Every time i started to get invested in some stupid story that doesn’t matter cause it’s a fucking fictional story, there is like, this ONE MAN, one fucking bitch, that i felt very strongly about and it didn’t feel entirely platonic. i knew i was not straight since a teen and it took me FOREVER to even seriously consider that im a lesbian even though i dread the thought of being with men for the longest time, precisely because i keep having these weird strong feelings about fictional men every once a while!!!! 

makes no mistake i explored more rational options. during this time i made a rant abt it on here--i didnt want to! i tried not to make personal posts cause i dont want to bother strangers! but idk i guess my attention seeking whore ass just have to put my personal feelings out there eventually or i will die? anyways, a very nice mutual talked to me abt it, he was a trans man and as it turns out we shared a lot of similar experiences in regards to gender, and you’d think--hey maybe that helped? but no it fucking didn’t. it was nobody’s fault but it didn’t help, cause i clung on my womanhood for no apparent productive reason. i was still confused and, well, like a normal person i was like, let’s have human interaction! let’s actually explore my attraction to women! you don’t want to be with men so forget about them! forget what you might feel abt them! explore what you KNOW! explore certainty! so i did and ofc it ended up in shit, cause a girl who has a girlfriend (it was a closed relationship btw) asked me if i wanted to “hang out” on a dating app for wlws called HER and i genuinely thought it was a date? didnt know she has a girlfriend until AFTER we met. i wasn’t actually even surprised that she didn’t actually want to date me, because im ugly! im not attractive! im not even attracted to myself lol! plus she was very nice and cool and i was just happy that i made a friend with a fellow lesbian. but after that, i lost motivation to use that dating app, because one minor set-up and failure is all it takes for me to give up, its always like that with me. because im weak and pathetic, its always been like this. 

yeah at one point i basically said im non binary on my bio, but  i rather tell ppl im a lesbian and be done with it since im not entirely sure abt being non binary. Also, I know that non gender-conforming lesbians are everywhere, cis lesbians who are uncomfortable with gender identity exist! butches exist! they are here and they deal with it and they find community. but i don’t identify with...being butch? it was very nice to see gender non conforming, tom-boyish or butchy women out there, they  gave me hope, they are my heroes but i just dont feel like...they are me? i dont feel like feminine women either, im attracted to feminine women but i dont identify with their look and their femininity. like i said, this is a huge fucking mess. 

And now i have finally fucking done it, huh, dorian fucking p*vus, a gay male character. The clownery of it all! how the fuck, do i explain to ANYONE that i, a lesbian, have feeling that isn’t entirely platonic about a fictional gay man? yeah thats right thats why i romance him! i lied! ok! i fucking lied, it was cause i want to fuck him! ok! yeah, i know, ridiculous. i feel like im disrespecting him, that im , idk, fetishizing him, but i am not! i can’t be! i love him so much it hurts? it shouldnt be like that. i really shouldn’t. i cant make sense of this, its driving me nuts. still, this whole ordeal eventually got me thinking abt my gender, yet again, and it pushed me over the edge and i even told my dad that i want to transition this summer, that i am a man because i thought maybe i’d be much happier and less repressed if i can just accept that i like men-- if i can explore this possibility. i know i will NEVER accept liking man as a woman, and i know i already kinda have some sort of identification with manhood and masculinity, so why not! i was coming up with solutions! but i didnt even fall in love with a real man, and i was considering this serious level of transition in my life that requires time, money, and the process concerns health risk??? for what??? i was looking up all these info about transition, for WHAT? i gotta be out of my fucking mind! the most ridiculous thing is that while i always like a number of female characters, i would never feel as strongly about any of them in particular as i would, for that one fucking man. Even merrill, like, i love her and i genuinely feel like i want to be with a girl like her int he future but i dont feel as strongly about her as i would for dorian, for some, fucking, reason. 

i headcanon the lavellan i used to romance dorian as a trans man, cause i was thinking, perhaps this would put things into perspective. and yeah, i wanna fuck dorian, but also i want to envision what my future CAN be using my lavellan as a proxy. things were simpler with my lavellan. he was handsome and had no body image issue, he was fit, transition was easy for him cause magic and he virtually spent no money on it, he was passing, his family and community fully supported him, he had a lovely girlfriend before he knew he was trans. sure, he has problems and issues to deal with but none are the ones i gotta deal with. he is not me, but he has what i wanted and what i wish i had: beauty, confidence, a girlfriend, easy FTM transition, and he is a man so he’s legally allowed to fuck dorian. but i did not transition, and im still a cis woman with long hair, and ppl looks at me and they probably still thinks im straight, im not straight but i AM a ugly cis woman and i dont think transition’d help cause i might just become a even uglier man lol. And if i dont become a beautiful, stunning man, then i dont want to become a man at all cause if things dont turn out perfectly for me, i dont want to do them and its always like that for me and its why im a fucking failure on everything right now. so many trans people are not passing, but they deal with it, not me tho! i can’t, cause im a pathetic baby!!!  i cant deal with any minor inconvenience in my fucking life i guess!!!! And i cant help but to feel weird about having a trans man as one of my ocs. maybe i should make him cis instead? im so exhausted,  i cant help but to feel that my trans mutuals want to just pull the trigger on me and unfollow me cause you all are silently judging me for having a trans oc when im still technically, cis. well judge me in my fucking face you fucking cowardly fucks! Am i cis? well idk, probably, maybe im just a hysterical crazy bitch of a cisgender^tm woman who is constantly uncomfortable with her gender, maybe thats all there is. who knows, all i know is that im burnt out, that i don’t know anything anymore and it was all a huge fucking mess that things dont matter. this is causing me nothing but pain and confusion and i dont want to be wrong myself. ftm transition is not, “oh geez lets just explore a option” kind of deal, its kinda fucking serious  and its stressing me out. i dont know what i want, who i am, anything and i can’t afford to be wrong so i dont know!!!!! i just dont know!!!!!!!! i talked abt with a therapist actually but all therapist do is to LIE lie AND LIE and tell me things i already know, “you need to be careful with about transitioning! it’s a big decision” who pays you to say this garbage to me? “you are capable and beautiful and you can do this! believe in yourself!” as if ppl saying this shit is enough???? as if i still need to go see a fucking therapist if i am magically ok after i talk to somebody and they tell me lies that sound validating????i know they dont believe in what they said anyways. “you are ok! you are fine, you have no problem” BITCH I WISH I AM OK, BUT AM I OK? IM FUCKING NOT AND YOU ARE $60 RICHER THAN AN YOU ARE AN HOUR AGO! FUK YOU! LIES LIES LIES!!!!! men lie too, i put on some bad eyeliner and some random creepy dude came and told me im beautiful! beautiful my ass! im fucking ugly and i know it, you really think im fucking stupid you fuck? am i just being a special snowflake? are the things that i know for certainty actually certainty??? nothing about me feels real anymore, and maybe im just being dramatic but  my self perception is non existent and i feel like im just lying to myself even though i thought i was being truthful and ppl keep telling me lies and nothing helps. im living on lies and it is festering 

[blogbykatie-blog]

Love, Simon:

Summary;

The film starts with Simon  telling us about himself. His parents are former quarterback Jack and valedictorian Emily. His younger sister Nora  is an aspiring chef. Simon spends time with his three best friends - Leah , Nick , and Abby . He considers himself fairly normal, other than his one "huge-ass secret": he's gay. 

Before he heads to school, Simon sees a man he finds attractive working with a leaf blower. He tries to talk to him but ends up being awkward. The only openly gay student at school is Ethan, who is picked on by the school's resident jackasses Aaron and Spence. At home, Simon is watching TV with his family when Jack makes an unfortunate joke about a guy on "The Bachelor" looking "fruity".

Later, Simon gets a FaceTime call from Leah, who tells him about the school's blog where an anonymous student going by "Blue" has come out as gay. Simon decides to start e-mailing Blue under the name of "Jacques" (as in "Jacques a dit", which is French for "Simon says"). Blue responds to Simon, and the two continue sending each other messages and forming a strong connection. Simon is at the school library where he accidentally leaves his e-mails open. They are found by his classmate Martin, who has a reputation for being extremely weird and annoying. Martin approaches Simon and reveals he took screenshots of his e-mails and is effectively blackmailing Simon to set him up with Abby. Simon is upset but also isn't ready for everyone to know he's gay, so he goes along with it. At lunch, Simon's friend Bram invites everyone to his house for a Halloween party. Simon starts to suspect that Bram could be Blue, based on their interactions and hints dropped in the e-mails. Simon and his friends meet up at his house. He invites Martin, to the chagrin of his friends. On their way to the party, Martin ends up trying WAY too hard to talk to Abby, and she is clearly more interested in Nick. At the party, Nick tells Simon he is thinking of asking Abby out, but Simon comes up with a lie that Abby is seeing an older college guy. Simon is then invited by Bram to play beer pong and gets Martin and Abby to play against them. Simon later goes upstairs to find Bram making out with another girl, to Simon's disappointment. To make things worse, Martin blows chunks on Simon after getting too drunk. Leah walks Simon back home as he wears her cardigan. They go to his room where Leah talks about loving one person for the rest of her life, meaning Simon himself. He doesn't get it and instead just goes to bed, and she sleeps on the floor. Martin urges Simon to move faster with Abby, or else the e-mails get leaked. Simon gets Abby and Martin to go with him to rehearse lines for the play at a Waffle House. Meanwhile, Simon becomes attracted to their waiter, Lyle, who Simon now believes could be Blue. Martin then tries to get Abby to say her name and say she deserves a "goddamn superhero". Martin goes as far as to get the attention of everyone in the restaurant until Abby says it, which she does so he'll shut up. Simon walks outside as Lyle is sending a message on his phone. They chat briefly until Lyle goes back inside, and Simon gets a message from Blue, who is planning to come out to his father. Simon later takes Abby home and comes out to her. She says she is not surprised, even though she never suspected it, but she still loves Simon. Martin starts hanging around Simon and his friends, but is closest to Abby. This bothers Nick, who still wants to ask Abby out. Simon tells him that Leah has a crush on him and that he should ask her out instead. The students go to their homecoming game. Simon sees Lyle and chats with him, but learns that he's straight and interested in Abby. As Simon walks away, he's approached by Martin, who's the school mascot. He asks Simon if he should make a romantic gesture for Abby, to which an apathetic Simon responds "Go big or go home". Martin uses this as an opportunity to  interrupt the National Anthem so that he can ask Abby out in front of the entire school. Embarrassed, she gently tells him that she's just not into him like that. Martin walks away, humiliated. Over Christmas break, Simon tries to call Martin to see if he's okay. Leah then calls Simon to tell him to go on the confession blog. Martin, trying to throw attention away from his homecoming debacle, ultimately posts Simon's e-mails, outing him. Nora sees the post and asks Simon, but he coldly turns her away. Simon goes absent from his friends during the break. He comes out to his parents on Christmas, and they appear okay with it, but Jack makes another bad joke, and he and Simon don't speak for a while. To make things worse, Simon speaks to Blue one more time, and Blue chooses not to continue sending messages. Simon spots his friends on the street. He goes to talk to them, but Nick and Abby are mad at him for making up lies to keep them apart. Simon admits what was going on with Martin and he apologies, but they leave. Leah also admits to Simon that she was in love with him and would have been fine with him being gay, but she is still mad about the lying. Upon returning to school, the other students all gawk at Simon after what happened. He approaches a student from his drama class, Cal, whom Simon thought may have been Blue, but Cal denies it. During lunch, Simon sits alone when Aaron and Spencer call out him and Ethan and mock them in front of the cafeteria. Ms. Albright steps in and amazingly shuts the two bullies down and sends them to the principal's office. Simon and Ethan are forced to go as well so the boys can apologise to them. Simon talks to Ethan, who says that although he is open and confident about his homosexuality, it isn't at all easy for him, and his mother still pretends for the rest of his family that he is straight. Afterwards, Simon is going home when he is approached by Martin, who is very apologetic, but Simon tells him to fuck off. Simon talks to his mum, who has no problem with him being gay and says he should be free to be himself and saying "Mum, I'm still me." He later talks to his dad, who apologies for all the times he's made dumb jokes, and he lets Simon know how much he loves him. Simon then helps Jack come up with a good slideshow for his and Emily's 20th anniversary. Simon finds Leah walking her dog on the street. He apologies to her for lying and admits that he has fallen in love with Blue. She forgives him and asks to know more about Blue. Simon then posts a confession to the blog where he accepts himself and also apologies to those that he hurt. Just about all of his classmates and teachers read it. He adds an invitation for Blue to find him somewhere after the school's play. The students at school now have a greater respect for Simon. After the show, Simon's friends invite him to go with them to the carnival. Simon takes his entire stash of tickets and uses it to ride the Ferris wheel in case Blue shows up. All of his friends and classmates stand by to see if he will arrive. After a while, it appears hopeless, but Martin shows up and tries to make it up to Simon. First he pretends he was Blue, but admits that's not true, and he gives the ride operator a few extra bucks to keep it going. Just then, Blue finally arrives, and it turns out to be... BRAM! Simon realises who he is, and Bram admits that what he saw at the party was a drunk moment that ended quickly. When they reach the top, Simon and Bram kiss, and everyone cheers. Later on, Simon picks up his friends from school, now including Bram, as they have begun dating. 

Link?

I bet your wondering how this film/book links into my research. well... it’s simple. its about the struggle most gay people have, and gay rights is an issue...still. 

opinion:

I love the fact they made a film/book about gay struggles mostly because I’m bisexual, and before coming out it felt like i was lying to my friends, family, classmates, and even myself. Don’t get me wrong, the way it came out to my family(the ones that know) isn’t the way i wanted it too. But it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. another reason is that you don’t just learn one story, but two. which means learning more sides to ‘coming out’.

But this film/book helps those whom don’t need to ‘come out’ understand whats it like. including how some of us struggle and how most gays feel before coming out.

[girlglassestheotherone]

Fall prompt 20. Gotta be Stephen and John.

Fall prompts list for more shameless prompt asking from me

20. “Yes, we are wearing matching costumes,” + “Don’t we look cute together?”

2031 – Halloween

“Setting, interior fancy ass library,” Stephen said, examining one of the books on the shelf of the private library he and his best friend had walked into. When John gave him a puzzled look, he added “I’m trying to write a play, I’m just thinking out loud.”

“So that’s why you asked Mrs. De Forest that,” John said, sitting down on the room’s large couch and examining one of its pillows. “Nice, a vegan couch. Good on them.”

“And I heard a rumor Penelope hides, you know, drugs here,” Stephen muttered the last words, even though the sound of the de Forest’s Halloween party outside the library was too loud for anyone to hear. He opened and closed a few books and scanned some of the titles.

“So she’s actually a drug dealer? Man, the Hapley triplets gossip mill is never wrong. Is it weird that I find her hotter now?” John said, examining a family photo on an end table next to the couch. John’s crush on the older sister of their classmate Catherine had been going on since freshman year and it always amused Stephen to remind Sonia about it, not that Sonia cared, whatever, hope he doesn’t mind visiting her in jail. Catherine, who had her law enforcement career planned out since first grade, would have put her there.

“Boy, I hope they don’t eventually have a showdown that pits,” John started to say, stopping when Stephen joined him on the couch.

“I wouldn’t say the Hapley triplets gossip is always right,” Stephen said, leaning back on the arm of the couch, noticeably as far away from John as he could be sitting. “I mean, yes, we are wearing matching costumes, it doesn’t mean,” he gestured to the flannel look John was wearing and the plastic axe and leafy pile that was the top of Stephen’s tree costume, set down at the entrance of the library.

“I know,” John said, enthused, “Yes, I was hesitant to portray a tree murderer, but if I can pretend to be Mark in Rent, I can pretend to be a lot of people who also suck.” John took out his phone and patted the empty seat next to him and said “we haven’t even taken a party self portrait together.” Stephen moved over and the two smiled into the camera as John clicked the picture. John looked at the photo first and smiled at the image.

“Don’t we look cute together?” John said, handing the phone over for Stephen to see.

“Everyone thinks we’re a couple,” Stephen said, moving away slightly in his seat, not looking at John, “If Bernadette Hapley heard it, everyone has.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” John said, worried now that Stephen actually looked sad, an out of character emotion for Stephen, except when he was acting. “Penelope’s out of my league anyway.”

“I’m not bothered by it either, I expected people to assume that, we are constantly talking about how much we love each other,” Stephen said.

“Mostly you, but the feeling is extremely mutual,” John said.

“And we play couples a lot,” Stephen said, adding, “but only because I wanted to make Rent better.”

“We do hold hands a lot,” John said, “like last week.”

“That was because I was totally not scared of that not horrifying place that not evil Sonia made us go in last week.”

“The haunted corn maze? Right? Terrible maze. Really easy to solve.” John thought about this for a moment before mentioning the changes he would have made to make the maze more complicated.

“I do love you, John, but unfortunately,” Stephen said, taking a long pause before continuing “I’m straight.”

“Stephen,” John said, giggling now, “I’ve known that since the two weeks in ninth grade when we stopped speaking to each other because you said had a sex dream about my mom.”

“In my defense, I said I had a sex dream about my piano teacher, you just put two and two together. Man. I wish I was bi, because my siblings are so smug about it, but you’re the only man I’ll ever love and I just have to accept that our love is platonic.”

“Well, you’re the only man I’ll ever love too.”

“Two bros, chilling in a library,” Stephen sang, “one feet apart cause they’re not gay.”

“From the musical you’re writing?”

“No, it’s from an old, it doesn’t matter. Actually, in the musical, we play a pair of best friends.”

“Obviously.”

“Who travel in space.”

“Loving it.”

“And realize they are, um, totally gay for each other,” Stephen said, turning around and facing John, the saying the next words in a rush, “because they get kidnapped by space pirates and end up kissing each other, in a space library. Space jail.”

“It can’t be that different from stage kissing,” John said. Stephen nodded and the next moment the two were kissing each other.

“Aww,” Catherine de Forest said as she walked past the library doors, observing the two inside, “I’m going to tell Bernadette she was right,” Catherine thought to herself, “And then kiss her.”

Inside the library the two boys broke off from their kiss and looked at each other, expecting but both realizing that they preferred pretend stage kissing each other. 

“Not that I have much experience to compare it too, but that was not bad,” John said.

“Exactly. From now on I can say kissing John Swanson is something everyone should do at least once,” Stephen said, leaning his head on his friend’s shoulder. “I was kind of hoping it would be like when Oliver kissed Sonia and realized he liked boys. Unfortunately I’m still heterosexual.”

“It happens to the best of us,” John said, wrapping his arm around Stephen’s shoulder.

“I just want to be included in Westley and Sonia’s dumb bisexual handshake.”

“I know, buddy, I know.”