#my favorite bad movie ive watched at least twice

[yume-fanfare]

something about hina's characterization is that he's both girlish and boyish. boyish in a girl way if you will but you can't really forget one or the other. And sometimes mellow when the situation calls for it but it has to be a rare occurrence or else it won't be significative, that's the fun part of the quiet moments like in tetora's fs1. engstars is lacking when it comes to her theatrics though 💔

[mirukosbitchywife]

dabi x reader | huggles mc'cuddles

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DABI!! ITS FINALLY HERE!!! i got a request for a dabi x reader cuddling fic and that is exactly what this is. just pure fluff. completely sfw it's literally just what the title suggests. this is also FOUR THOUSAND WORDS. this is my first proper fanfiction ever so it probably isn't the best but i worked really really hard on it so please be nice! i am not an actual writer i do this for funzies, constructive criticism is appreciated though! if this seems out of character for him just know i'm holding a gun from the abyss right behind him the whole time forcing him to be soft and have feelings. also there's a lot of himiko in this can u tell i love her... ive got a himiko request coming out soon! also tysm to my friend @ko-konutty for helping me edit this!! thank them for all of the capitalization and correct punctuation lmao

It's movie night at the league. The main TV is set up in the living room and the tables are filled with pizza boxes along with various snacks catered to everyone's individual tastes (Like the blood pouches Himiko demands). It's finally your turn to choose the night's movie. And you, naturally, pick your favorite. It results in some groaning over having to watch it again, which you so diligently ignore.

Quickly pressing the play button, you all start grabbing your food and get settled into your seats to watch. The arrangements end up with you and Dabi on a couch together, Toga and Twice squeezing themselves onto one chair- and Shigaraki, who claimed an arm chair at his own corner where he played with his switch. Not even pretending to pay attention to the movie since he's seen it at least three times already. Spinner and Magne are sat right next to him on two bean bags, which are actually facing the TV. And lastly, sat further away from the group, are Kurogiri and Mr. Compress. Chatting in low voices. You can see as Kurogiri makes Sako a drink at the bar; making an effort to not disturb anyone who is paying attention.

Really, everything should've been fine. You're surrounded by the people you dare call friends, with food and snacks along with your favorite movie playing. But you just can't help but be stuck in a bad mood.

Your entire month had pretty much been shit. Well- your entire year really. And you just. Really really needed a hug right now.

As much as you tried to pay attention to your favorite movie and try to eat your meal before it got cold, you just couldn't focus for a second. Normally, you'd be eating and chatting with everyone else. You're typically giving commentary on the movie and/or reciting lines, but this time you just couldn't drown out your thoughts.

As a matter of fact, you'd been so deep in your own head that you didn't even notice the concerned glances thrown your way from multiple members of the league over the fact that you've been quiet throughout the entire movie.

Hell, you didn't even notice the curious bright blue eyes burning holes onto the side of your head from the opposite end of the couch. Not 'til a rough voice startled you from your thoughts.

"You alright?" Dabi asked lowly.

He had leaned closer. You had never been so close to the man before- his face just a few inches from yours in order to not be heard by anyone else, giving you the illusion of privacy. You could clearly see the concern in his eyes while asking, despite the rest of his face seeming blank.

He'd never admit to concern. But in all honesty you'd all been getting quite closer these past few months together. And you knew he actually cared about everyone in the league.

Especially you.

Who so far has been the most resistant to the "Family bonding time" as Himiko liked to call it.

Despite him asking you a question- you couldn't stop yourself from admiring just how pretty he was. Especially this close up. His beautiful blue eyes, his facial piercings, the little frown he sets when he's trying to put on his blank expression.

He watches as you start to zone out in real time, but just before you can get completely lost in your thoughts again- he snaps his fingers in front of your face.

“Mmmmhmm" you hum.

You're still distracted looking at the staples lining his skin, not paying much attention to his words. Surveying the room in order to continue to not make eye contact- you easily spot two heads already peering back at you. Making both Himiko and Jin freeze while they were 'sneaking' you concerned glances from their shared chair.

Ignoring them for now, and having let the silence stretch a little too long, you eventually bring your eyes back up to meet the intense blue ones of the man at your side. You watch as he huffs at your lack of an answer, flopping back on the seat he claimed as his own.

He wants to let it drop there, it's clear you don't want to talk about whatever's bothering you with him. He should just go back to watching the movie. So, that's what he does. … For a few minutes.

But he just can't stop the concern he feels over your odd behavior tonight. He's debating on whether or not to question you again- only to notice he's been unconsciously bouncing his leg. Deciding to just bite the bullet, he chooses a different approach.

Making sure he catches your eye this time- he asks again. "Seriously. You alright? You're completely out of it today."

And as soon as the words leave his mouth, he can literally see the cogs turning in your mind. It's as clear as day you want to ask him something, it's written all over your face. And in a surprising act of patience- he stays quiet. Allowing you time to fully form your thoughts.

This turned out to be the right move as you start speaking after a moment of silence.

"Could you.... could I get a hug?" you ask hesitantly.

Looking up at him from under your lashes, fidgeting with your hands, clearly nervous about his answer. But trying to appear unaffected. He can't even focus on your face though, because as soon as you asked, his eyes blew wide, his heartbeat picked up, and he was speechless. He's absolutely floored by your question as people don't tend to just ask him things like that.

At his silence you were starting to feel disheartened. Opening your mouth to quickly backtrack and apologize for asking but he interrupts that train of thought with a soft sigh before you can get the words out.

"You...want a.. hug?" He asks in a voice you've never heard from him before.

He's unable to look you in the eye to hear your answer- even if he's sure of what it's going to be since it is what you asked afterall. But It doesn't change the fact that his heart is racing just at the thought.

Lifting his eyes up to keep them from going back to your face: He spots Himiko and Jin on their shared chair. Right behind your head to his view on the couch. Both vigorously nodding their heads along to your request- encouraging him to agree.

…

As if he would deny you anything.

You may have only known each for a few months, but he's developed quite a soft spot for you over that time. This fact goes unnoticed by you, but not the rest of your friends as he's frequently teased about it by Himiko damn near daily. The teasing often leading to him storming out of whatever room he's in with a light pink blush dusting the healthy parts of his face, only to get teased by other members as soon as he's spotted fleeing Himiko.

He only meets your gaze again when he sees Himiko miming stabbing him if he refuses.

Turning back to face you- he sees your face is fully lit up by the TV. Bringing his attention to the dark circles under your eyes. He's honestly unsure of how he hadn't seen them before. Now that he's paying attention, he also sees the exhaustion in your body language. You've slumped into yourself, looking incredibly tense. He has no clue how long you've been like this without any one of them noticing.

But in their defense, you're not particularly close to anyone here. Always staying on the sidelines, always by yourself- Even when invited to hang out by the more friendly members of the league, You've made sure to keep your distance from them, your walls built up high around you. They can see it though. The way you're hurting yourself more by keeping a distance from them, refusing to get attached to anyone. They can see how you're suffering alone.

They see it so clearly, they've all been in your exact position. They WERE in your exact position right before they found the league. And they know that as much as they want to- they can't just force it. They can't force you to open up to them and be part of the family they’ve made. They have to wait for you to be open to reaching out. To want to form bonds again. And- here you are. Finally starting to break out from the hard shell you have around them, seeking comfort.

And you're asking for it from him of all people?

"Yeah.. if it's okay with you? You're just.. really warm." You explain in a soft voice, afraid of him denying you after you barely managed to find the courage to ask in the first place.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Sure. Of course." He rambles nervously, heart racing in anticipation at the idea.

He's quick to move. Settling fully on the couch in a position that'll be comfortable for the both of you. As soon as he's found it, he opens his arms in invitation- making it so that his lap is completely free for however you want to place yourself.

Despite his easy acceptance, when you easily slide yourself onto his lap- he can't help but tense up. He's reeling over being the recipient of such attention; despite him having expected it. However, he's no where near uncomfortable with the closeness.

You clearly already had an idea of how you wanted the hug to go before asking him as you wasted no time situating yourself over his lap to face him, chest to chest. Your knees bracketing his hips on the couch and wrapping your arms around his waist. You slump forward against him, hooking your chin over his shoulder, and nuzzle into his neck slightly before settling down. Completely comfortable on his lap now.

Once you're still; you feel hands that are almost too hot wrap around your back, pulling you forward the last bit so you're both pressed flush against each other. Those hands then move around your waist to form a light hold.

He's been tense the entire time. That is until you snake your hand up to the top of his head- lightly running your fingers through his soft white hair. Gently scratching his scalp with your nails. The sigh he lets out as he melts into your touch ruffles your hair, but you pay no mind to it.

What you do pay attention to is the fact that this is the first time you'd ever been this close to him. Hell, this is the closest you've been to anyone in years. And the main thing that captures your attention is his surprisingly nice scent. You can easily smell the scent of smoke and nicotine that clings onto him at all times, but even beyond that- you notice the smell of the strawberry shampoo Himiko uses. Along with the faintest scent of snow. You never would've guessed it but somehow it fits now that youre smelling it on him.

Being chest to chest with him you also note how warm he is. You've already known this but being this close? It makes it entirely different. You can just feel the heat seeping into your bones. Relaxing your muscles even further. The thought of seeking him out again after a fight to use him as a personal hot pack crosses your mind briefly and you huff a laugh into his shoulder at the thought.

He didn't even feel it, since unknown to you: Dabi's mind has been running wild since the moment you asked him for the hug. And in all honesty, he didn't really know what he had been expecting after asking if you were alright. But this situation definitely was not it.

Still, he's stuck on one thing, he just doesn't really understand why you chose him to request a hug from. Sure he was questioning if you were alright and was right there next to you, but if you just wanted a hug- Why not approach Himiko any of the times you saw her this week? Or even Jin or Spinner? Hell, maybe even Compress!

They're the more welcoming members of the league. Not him. He's not exactly what he'd call approachable. People are usually so scared by his appearance; or at the very least put off at first. He's not really a person most people would look to for a hug. Yet here you are- cuddled up on his lap.

He's not exactly a stranger to being hugged- everyone in the league is aware of Himiko's clinginess after all. But the fact that he was your first choice? Now that added a lot more impact. It's not as if you deny hugs from the other members, you've just never initiated them like you did with him.

That's never happened to him.

He's never been picked first for nearly anything, let alone comfort.

He's not even anyone's first choice of comfort in the league. It's not like he holds it against any one of them, but they all do have members they're closer to than him, and he's fine with that. He's content on his own most of the time, even if he does secretly treasure when the entire league is together the most. Even despite acting as if he didn't enjoy their company.

But, here you are. Taking a wrecking ball to everything he's used to and making him feel warmer than he has in a while. And not in a way relating to his quirk whatsoever. The revelation hits him hard as he unknowingly started to grip your shirt tightly in his fists, balling up the material, but you don't feel it. Already having fallen into a sleepy half asleep state against his shoulders- completely unaware of the way you've made his thoughts race.

You're enjoying the comfort from him as much as possible, especially since it's been over half an hour since the hug started and he still hasn't pushed you off. You're determined to stay here as long as he'll let you. You want to see if he'll let you stay on his lap long enough for you to fall asleep. You're fine sleeping right here, you just want to see if you'd finally be able to sleep for a whole night without nightmares if there's someone with you while you rest, craving just one night with a full 8 hours of sleep.

He only snaps out of his thoughts when he can physically feel Himiko glaring daggers into his head. To put it simply- If looks could kill, he'd be dead. Confused as to what he did, he looks down at you and sees you. Struggling to keep your eyes open, lightly rubbing your face against his shoulder. You had moved to rest your cheek on it instead of your chin, facing his neck, while he was zoned out. He was so out of it he hadn't noticed the soft breathing against his skin until just this second.

Having now been roused from his thoughts, he looks at the time. Taking note of the way you're quickly losing your fight with sleep- he moves for the first time since you climbed on his lap. He's intent on bringing you to your bed, as he doesn't know if he'll have the heart to wake you if you fell asleep on him, and he doesn't want to pick you up while asleep either, in order to not disturb you. He doesn't know how light of a sleeper you are and he's not willing to find out.

He also didn't want you sleeping on the couch anyway. Especially now that they finally have a hideout where everyone gets their own rooms; therefore you have your own perfectly fine bed. Which is much better than a couch. He easily slides his hands under your thighs to lift you up, making it so that you won't have to detach from him until you get to your room, and allowing you to rest against him for a little longer. You let out a quiet yelp in surprise, making a couple members look over at you two when he stands. But- other than Himiko sticking her tongue out at him when he passes her- there's no reaction from anyone else when he starts walking towards the hallway that'll lead to your room, with you, of course, still in his arms.

Your door is unlocked, as it always is because even if you're not close to the league, you trust them. That makes it much easier for Dabi to get in without needing to move you or put you down. Walking in, he can't help but notice the somewhat sparse decorations in your room.

He's not the kind of guy to snoop, but he's interested to see the parts of your personality that he'll be able to pick up from your room. He is the first person you've ever allowed inside afterall. And looking in just from the doorway- he notices a couple posters on your walls. Mainly musical artists and video games from the swift surveying glances he gives them. He also notes one poster ripped at the corner, but keeps walking until he passes your vanity, where he stops for a moment, he sees pictures scattered across the mirrors borders, some having people cut or scratched out of them. He also takes note of the little things you have there on the surface, like the necklace you made with a bead Mr. Compress gave you, along with your collection of makeup, some of which he knows you use in costume, some of which you got from Magne.

Not wanting to spend too much time looking about, making you question why he stopped. So, he continues on towards your bed where he admires the fairy lights you've set up. On your pillows he also spots the bunny plushie Himiko gave you when she found out they're your favorite animal. In all honesty- seeing you having so many gifts from the other members makes him feel a little jealous. He didn't even know you were friendly enough with some of them to receive gifts from.

He wants to give you something that you'll keep with you too, the issue is: He has no idea how to pick out gifts. Maybe one day he'll suck it up and swallow his pride for you to ask Himiko. He knows she'll help him- he just doesn't know if he could take the teasing that would come.

Dismissing that line of thought with a quick shake of his head, he approaches your bedside, bending over it slightly so that you'll fall over it when you release your hold on him.

Except-

instead of releasing and getting into bed, you surprise him for a second time that night by gripping his middle tighter and whining softly. He freezes in place as soon as you do and you start to tense up, worried that maybe you pushed too far by doing that, but before you can move, he speaks up. However, all he does is whisper quietly to you:

“Y’sure you want me to join you, Sweetheart?”

and you can swear you heard his voice break in the middle of asking that, but you don't point it out. You're too embarrassed over your request to actually verbally ask for him to stay with you until you fell asleep, so you just nod against his shoulder, hoping he'll take that as your answer and you won't have to speak up.

Thankfully for you, after that confirmation, he silently stands back up, with you still hanging onto him, and begins to shuffle into your bed, getting the both of you under your plush comforter, one arm wrapped around you the whole time he's moving. He doesn't say another word, he just lies on his back, with you now straddling his abdomen.

Still slightly embarrassed about the situation despite his easy acceptance to your request, you choose to not say anything for now. All you do is readjust yourself and get comfortable. Since he got in bed with you still on top of him, you assume it's alright if you don't get up from where you are.

Because you really don't want to end the most comfortable hug of your life so soon, that's the main reason you didn't want him to leave. But you'll also secretly admit to yourself that you asking him to stay was a bit selfish, as youve wanted to spend more time with him as well. Even if you haven't talked much to each other tonight, this entire ordeal has been a big experience for you. Tonight is the first time you've let your walls down even the slightest bit around another person in years. But what you're not anticipating is the fact that this move is also the first step to joining the makeshift family the league has formed. .

The family they've been trying to bring you into for weeks.

You're lying on top of him in a very similar position to the one y'all were in in the common area. The only real difference now is how you've fully stretched out your legs, and that your face is pressed into his neck instead of his shoulder, fully facing him now.

Once you're done moving about, his arms come back up around you to rest his warm hands against the dip of your back, which makes you release a sleepy sigh. Fully content to surrender to the darkness calling you to rest; there's something bothering you, keeping you from giving in yet. There's one more thing you need to do before you fall asleep. Moving your head up so you can make eye contact with him nstead of his neck, you mumble in a low voice:

“Thank you for this… G’night Dabi."

He doesn't give a response, he just hums and tightens his arms around you. But he doesn't need to say anything, as you're fully asleep within a minute after having said your parting. The heat of his body was making the call of sleep even more irresistible, and now that you said what you wanted to, you were able to give into it. As you fall asleep, you've started to unconsciously grip Dabi’s shirt tightly, curling the fabric around your firsts; as if subconsciously afraid he'd leave you right after you drift off. But of course he doesn't do that.

He would never do that to you.

Instead, he waits until he's sure you're deeply sleeping, listening to the soft sound of your even breathing against his skin, before his eyes find your face. Soaking up every detail he can make out in the low light of your bedroom, he lets himself appreciate your beauty. The only light in the room being from the string of fairy lights within the room; but that's enough for him right now.

In the stillness of your bedroom, with the only movement coming from you contently sleeping over him in your huddle, he finally allows his tears of blood to fall from his eyes. The ones he's been holding off ever since you let him into your room. The urge had only increased as you continued to cling to him, then shocking him by allowing him on your bed with you, to provide you the comfort you've been craving through the night. It had all become too much for him to hold back now that you're unable to see him.

The show of trust hits him hard as he lies there, crying silently as he grips you tighter, as if you're the only thing keeping him from floating away. The fact that he's the first person you've ever let into your room, and probably the first person to hold you like this in a while, if ever, makes his heart beat erratically in his chest. Your show of vulnerability to him of all people is doing something to him. He didn't even realize how cold he had grown until he was shown the lightest bit of sunshine and immediately began to thaw.

You choosing him to be vulnerable with already has him craving being vulnerable back. Already considering how he might initiate the hug next time- desperately wanting this to become a common occurrence.

And under the bed of night, as crimson tears still flowed, he whispered back to your sleeping form.

"Thank you too.. Goodnight.." as he places a kiss to the crown of your head.

For the first time in maybe his whole life, he doesn't fall asleep in pain or to the deafening noise of his thoughts screaming at him, which are filled with intrusive thoughts that sound suspiciously like his father. No. Instead, he falls asleep under you, feeling truly appreciated and wanted for the first time. The smile that spread across his face before falling victim to the lull of your gentle breathing stays on his face the entire night, never even once interrupted by the nightmares of his past he typically deals with every night.

[thealogie]

like many in this confessional of an askbox, i have a dt problem but its like. inverted. the thing is that yes i grew up on dw so i knew him and i liked him well enough but not anything special. and then like. in 2018 2019 somewhere in there. i got haunted. and i know that sounds crazy but in my defense it was my special seasonal depression time and i was super manic and stressed about collage. anyway. i got haunted by his stupid ass he was showing up in everything i watched. like in fucking everything. the gotv trailer dropped and i went oh neat i love that book. oh hi david. and from then on i was fucking CURSED the motherfucker was everywhere EVERYWHERE.

he was in shitty movies my friends suggested. he was in plays i pirated. he showed up in fucking GENLOCK which is a nasty little mecha anime made by rooster teeth of red vs blue fame, a shitty production company w too much money (michael jordan was there too. but dt was very alarming to me. personally.). one night me and a friend tried to watch hamlet, explicitly avoiding his, and when we went on some shit piracy site and we clicked on each of the version they had they would all redirect to a tiny thumbnail image of his hamlet. and then automatically close. i was so upset but at least i had a witness then. i started avoiding watching anything that had half a chance of him in it. watched a nature documentary on netflix. called spy on the ice. ill give you one guess who narrates it. i have a note on my phone where i was documenting sightings. he was my own personal poltergeist.

it got so bad that twice while sitting in the cafe between classes i caught in the corner of my eye a skinny white dude in a long brown coat walking past me, and i lurched halfway up in stopping myself from launching myself at him. to enact violence. anyway he is my favorite actor now on account of how much ive seen but i NEED to kill him. my roommate says he would be my own personal martyr.

im fine now but defintitly there is a residual attack kill instinct when i enjoy his acting too much. i think he should be in a play or maybe a videogame about a timeloop he could kill it on the madness and silliness aspects necessary for a good timeloop. thumbs up 👍 oh speaking of hes funny in just cause the video game. you can find a compilation of his voicelines on youtube. it's worth the 10 minutes it takes to watch it.

This is by far the most haunting DT obsession story of them all. He followed you around!!

[doctorwhoisadhd]

tbh im not nearly as much of a murray gold stan as i thought i was. like i really thought i was a murray gold only stan but i think it was just that i didnt love 13's era (not to say i hated it! it just wasnt my favorite) and bc, like, something about the music from it meant it wasn't as interesting to me. hmm. if i had to guess, its just that there wasn't as much consistency in the leitmotifs. obviously there are some that i would recognize but segun akinola DID state that he wanted to refresh the music of dw, iirc. so those two things mean that that era (which i've only watched the one time, for the most part) didn't stand out to me as much as the music from a) the TV movie which ive seen about a billion times, b) DW redacted which ive listened to twice or thrice now and has a couple of really consistent themes, c) the bad wolf theme at some point having popped up in all three of the (main) spinoffs, d) torchwood's music also having been composed by murray gold meaning that any of the music is basically free to have shown up in dw, and e) the really very very consistent major themes of torchwood (the torchwood theme, captain jack's theme) and sja (the tragedy theme, mr smith's music) etc.

also, it's become pretty clear to me that i am very very very familiar with the music of 12 era and 9/10 era, but NOT 11 era, which i am probably the least interested in of all the time murray gold spent composing for the show, so there IS precedent for me not knowing the music as well of a part of the show that im not really invested in

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

[forever-rogue]

congrats on the followers milestone! can i request

“You’re shaking.” from prompt list 3 with Javier Peña? ❤️

Ask and you shall receive, my love 💕😌

Javier Peña x Fem!Reader; warnings: depictions of violence & angst

Javier Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Javier," you didn't even open your eyes as you reached out for him. You were buried in a cocoon of warm, plush blankets, resting on a pillow that smelled just like him. 

It was late - so late that it was early in the morning. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you listened to him continue to pace his bedroom. The window was wide open, letting in the soft sounds of the lightly falling rain, but it still wasn't enough to drown out the shuffling of his feet. His body was practically humming with nervous energy as he couldn't quite seem to calm down.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor," you pouted as you sneaked a peek at him, finding him standing at the foot of the bed, shoulders slumped and hanging his head in...shame? Worry? Something was weighing heavy on him. 

He got like this sometimes; but you didn't blame him. While you didn't work for the DEA and weren't completely privy to every aspect of his job, you knew it was hardly rainbows and sunshine. But you never, ever pried, rather, you provided whatever he needed. Sometimes it was silence, a comforting touch as he pondered over his actions. Sometimes it was listening to him as he ranted and raved about his day. Sometimes it was providing a sounding board he posed different theories about anything and everything. 

But most importantly, it was you being you. He loved you more than life itself, and at the end of the day, getting to come home to you, to be yours, was more than he could have dreamed of. You were the reminder that for all the bad that was in the world, there was still some good. There was still a reason to hope, a reason to get up every morning and fight for the right thing. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned around and looked at you, nothing but sorrow etched in his eyes. Those soft brown eyes were often filled with so much emotion, so many things all at once - honeyed and golden - and now? They were tired, empty- hollow. He exhaled slowly, a long shaky thing before he offered you a small nod.

You sat up and held your hand to him, beckoning for him to come closer. Javier stared at your outstretched hand for a moment before caving and giving you his own, much larger hand. Pulling him closer to you, he gave in and sat at the end of the bed.

"I love these hands," you whispered before bringing it to your lips and gently kissed his knuckles, "so strong and calloused, but still soft and tender under it all. One of the best parts of my day is getting to hold one of these hands - or to be held by them."

"Dulzura," it was the first time he had spoken since he'd arrived home. It had been late and you were already in bed. He'd barely alerted you to his presence, only announcing his arrival with a soft kiss to your forehead that had stirred you from your slumber.

"Javier," you reached over and touched his cheek before tracing over his features, "I love you, so much. I want you to always know that. You don't have to tell me what's going on,  but you know I will be here for you no matter what."

Almost as if a weight had been magically lifted from his shoulders, he let out a gentle sigh before closing his eyes and keening into your touch. You were the sun, despite the cold, dark embrace of the night, and he was lucky enough to be in your orbit.

"I love you," he whispered gruffly, his voice catching on each syllable. Before he could think twice about it, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer, wanting to feel the sacred intimacy of your skin on his, "I will always protect you. Yeah?"

"Javier," you smiled softly before pressing your forehead against his, "I know that. You don't have to tell me what's on your mind, but if you want to, you know I'll listen. I'm not here to judge you; you think you're this monster, but I know you're not. You're a good man, despite what you think."

Javier made a small sound in his throat before gently laying you back down in your pile of blankets; they were soft - so soft - just like your heart. Instead of getting up to aimlessly pace around, he laid down next to you, facing you, as he slung an around your waist and tangled his legs with yours. Reaching over, you brushed a stray curl from his forehead before giving him a gentle kiss. The worry on his face eased up ever so slightly as you closed your eyes and pulled him against your chest before using him as your pillow.

It wasn't long before you were asleep again, delicately snoring in his arms as he tried to ground himself with your presence. But sleep still managed to evade him, and he laid there with a multitude of dark thoughts in his mind.

But at least you weren't one of them.

»»————-　♡　————-««

It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be a quick in and out of the small supermarket. Another long week had passed and you had wanted to surprise Javi with his favorites for dinner. 

It was all supposed to be so simple.

And now? 

You were lying against a mess of rubble and smoke, your ears ringing out of control as your vision grew hazy. Everything hurt, but you were alive - covered in blood, not all your own, as you tried to make sense of what happened. Abrasions and gashes liberally covered your body as you tried to wipe away the grime from your face.

All around you people were running around frantically, screaming and shouting. You didn't blame them; if you hadn't been so confused and taken aback by what happened you would have been the same. 

You pulled yourself up on shaking, trembling legs, and tried to navigate away from the ruin. Whatever type of bomb that had been used was enough for this building and the next, it had caused nothing but chaos. All you knew was that you wanted to get out. Out, out, out and into safety.

But before you could escape, you heard frenzied shouts of your name among the loud ringing and screams. You looked around and found Javier sprinting over to you.

He stopped as soon as he was in front of you, his hands finding your face as he looked you over. You didn't even realize you'd begun to cry until you felt his hand brush away some of the tears.

He was speaking - asking you questions but you didn't hear a word. His hands went to your shoulders as he tried to shake you and pull you back in reality but nothing worked. It was like you were watching a movie play out, but this wasn’t anything like that - this was a horrifying reality. The worst part? You were one of the lucky ones.

You were in such a daze that you shut down, finding yourself blankly staring back at him. Nothing but fear and worry clouded his expression as he tried to get you to say something - anything - back to him.

The last thing you remembered was him pulling you into his arms and turning away from the horrific scene.

»»————-　♡　————-««

The next time you woke up it was quiet. Almost too quiet and nothing met your ears the harsh ticking of the clock on the wall and the beeping of the several machines. A small groan left your lips as you slowly moved, trying to stretch your stiff limbs as you woke up. 

Rubbing at your heavy eyes, you frowned deeply when you saw all the contusions and lingering scratches on your hand.

Oh. It hadn’t been some sort of wicked dream or nightmare. 

Your throat was practically raw as you tried to swallow, screaming in pain. You quickly spied the pitcher of water and sad plastic cups on the table next to your bed, reaching for it hastily as you poured a cup and downed it in one go. It was warm and almost metallic; you wondered how long it had been there. How long you had been there. 

Studying the IV in your arms, along with other various implements, you sighed as you tried not to cry. Everything hurt, every fiber of your being felt like it was aching to the bone. Pulling back the thin, scratchy blanket, you realized your lower half didn’t look much better. Your legs were nothing but constellations of black and blue tinged with green. As if to test the waters, you moved each leg, flexing your feet and knees, as if just checking to make sure everything still worked. Just in case. Just because.

It hurt now, and no doubt for a long time, but you were alive. You were still breathing, taking in shallow breath after shallow painful breath. But you were still here. That’s what mattered.

You looked around for someone...anyone. But found no one. Your heart fell a little as you had half expected Javier to be there, or perhaps Steve, or maybe even Connie. But there was no one. Half tempted to get up and move around, or at least try, you refrained and hit the call button on the remote on your side instead. 

It was only a few moments before you heard footsteps approaching and a nurse poke in her head. Her face lit up when she noticed that you were awake and conscious, despite the sight for sore eyes that you currently were. 

“You’re awake,” she came over and looked at you, a hand going to your face as she brushed away a few tangled locks from your forehead, “a welcome surprise. How are you feeling?”

“Like death,” you admitted quietly, “but I’m here, and that’s...that’s the important part.”

“You survived a bombing.” she reminded you, “being here is the only thing right now. How’s the pain?”

“Just sore,” you admitted, not quite feeling the full effects just yet, “am I...anything permanent?”

“No,” she promised as you felt a wave of relief wash over you, “you got lucky. You’ll be back to normal eventually, right now you’ll need lots of rest - for your body and mind. We just want to keep you for a few more days to make sure there’s no infection with anything. You had a few good gashes on your legs and abdomen.”

“Okay,” you let out a stunted exhale as you realized that no matter what happened, you were in good hands and had been well taken care of. But that still didn’t solve the mystery of why you were alone, “there was a man that brought me in I’m sure...is he...here?”

“Javier?” she asked as you nodded lightly, “he had to leave on an emergency call. Don’t worry, sweetheart, he hasn’t left your side in days.”

“Days?” you tilted your head to the side in confusion, “how long have I been here?”

“Almost a week,” she gave a tight lipped smile, “go on and rest, and I’ll bring you something to eat. I’m sure he'll be back soon.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

But soon turned into hours and those hours stretched into the wee hours of the night, and eventually you fell back asleep. The amount of painkillers and fluids were enough to keep you drowsy and despite wanting to see Javier, you couldn’t stay awake. 

It had hurt your feelings a little - the fact that no one stopped in to see you. But you decided not to take it personally; work was probably insane at the moment.

Javier didn’t make an appearance until the next afternoon.

His tread was light as he hovered in the doorway, almost as if studying you to see if you were conscious. 

“Javi,” you beamed when you spotted him, slowly sitting up as best as you could. Your heart instantly felt better at the sight of your lover as he shuffled into the room. You’d expected him to be excited, to smile, to cry, to...something. But there was...nothing. You frowned as he came and stood at the side of your bed, “Javier? W-what’s wrong, mi amor?”

“Look at you,” he whispered softly after a few tense moments, reaching up and gingerly touching your cheek. You sighed and reached for his hand but he quickly flinched out of your grasp.

“It’s okay,” you promised softly, surprised by his recoil, “it looks bad now, but it will be better. They said nothing is permanent. I’ll be fine soon enough.”

“You were almost killed and you think this is fine?!” you had never heard him shout before, not like this, not in such anger. His nostrils flared as he ran a hand over his tired face, “you look terrible, you were barely conscious and then in a coma for a week. Nothing about this is fine!”

“Javi,” you had leaned away at the sound of yelling, confused and hurt by his harsh response, “I’m alive, okay? That’s what matters. The rest will get better -”

“What about all the people that it won’t get better for?” he sighed as he turned around for a moment, his shoulders rising and falling heavily, “what if it had been you? If something worse had happened to you, I would never be able to live with myself.”

“But it didn’t,” you whispered, “and I know it’s hard to accept right now, but I am okay and it will get better and this isn’t your fault. Please, Javier, calm down, my love, you’re shaking…”

“This was because of me,” he turned around, an emotionless mask on his face, “don’t you understand that? This happened to you because you know me...because you’re with me.”

“Javier-”

“I couldn’t even protect you,” he hung his head with a bitter laugh, “I promised I would always protect you, and I couldn’t even do that much. What if...I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this every day knowing how easy it is for them to get to you. I won’t have anything happen to you just because you’re mine - because of me.”

“You didn’t….” you paused and tried to reach for him, holding out your hand and offering it to him as you had done countless times before. Except this time...he didn’t take it, “Javier. I know this was bad, and I know that it wasn’t your fault. You did protect me - if you hadn’t gotten me here in time, or came to me, it could have been so much worse. I’m not...I know the risks of your job, Javi, but it doesn’t scare me. Not away from you….I love you.”

“I know,” he answered gruffly, “I know you do. Despite the fact that I’m a bad man that does bad things. And I love you too. That’s why I have to do this….”

“Do what?” you asked as your heart plummeted into your stomach at the tone of his words. This wasn’t good - no this..was very bad, “Javier? What’s...what’s going on?”

“As soon as you’re well enough to travel, you’re going home,” he didn’t even look at you as your mouth dropped in horror and confusion, “you’re getting on the first plane back to the states. And you’re never setting foot back in Colombia.”

“Javier,” your voice cracked as he refused to meet your eyes, “you can’t just do that. You can’t-”

“I have and I will,” he answered gruffly, “it’s been taken care of. The DEA will set you up with a new place and help you find a new job. Please...just don’t argue with me. Just…”

“You can’t do this,” you were crying now, as your whole world crumbled around you and Javier started to walk away, refusing to look at you again, “please...please don’t do this. Please don’t make me leave. Don’t - don’t...walk away. Javier, I love you, and I want to be here with you. I don’t care about anything else!”

“I know, Dulzura,” he whispered as he paused in the doorway, his back still to you, “I love you more than you will ever know. That’s why this has to be done. Please just...do this one thing. For me.”

“Javier...don’t walk away,” you were begging him, your chest tightening in constricting as it got harder and harder to breathe, “p-p-please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me - not like this. Please.”

“I am sorry,” he promised gently, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. But I do love you, truly, that’s why I have to do this. You will thank me one day.”

“Javier,” he turned and walked out of the small room, pausing for just a moment before he exhaled shakily and walked away. If you had seen him, you’d have seen the most heartbroken look on his face as tears streamed down his cheeks. But you didn’t; instead you sat there, helpless and small as your vision grew warm and bleary with your own tears. 

You hid your face in your hands as you cried and cried and cried until you couldn’t anymore. No one came in, no one said anything, and he never came back. 

This was….it. A new life without your love. 

Empty, hollow, broken. Just like him - and now you. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[ashintheairlikesnow]

A Little Bit Stabbed

Jake Gets Stabbed Miniseries: First Second Third Fourth Fifth Sixth

CW: Discussion of past child abuse/domestic violence, description of stab wound, painkillers/drugged but in a good way, brief IV needle reference, some short references to Jake’s religious trauma, some trauma response stuff

“Took four of us to get you onto the couch, you know,” Kauri says, fingers moving gently to brush Jake’s short hair back off his forehead. There’s a hint of humor to his deep voice, but Jake catches the tremor in it, too. “You’re heavier than you look.”

“Must be… pretty fucking heavy, then,” Jake manages, voice slightly thin. They gave him something - Nat’s EMT friend showed up with IV supplies while refusing to tell anyone where they’d gotten ahold of everything from, except to repeatedly reassure all of them I know someone, it’s taken care of, I probably won’t go to jail for this. Besides, I’ve been in jail before.

Jake might not have found it very reassuring if he wasn’t halfway to unconscious from the pain alone at the time.

Now, though, there’s a needle feeding a steady supply of something wonderful into his bloodstream, holding the worst of the pain at bay. All he can feel now is maybe a little bit of an itch he knows better than to scratch, and a heaviness to his limbs that keeps them limp and relaxed. 

“We had to turn the stupid thing into the pull-out bed just to make sure your feet wouldn’t be higher than your head.” Kauri smiles at him, but there’s worry in those warm blue eyes, and Jake uses every ounce of strength to lift his good hand, the one on the uninjured side, and take Kauri’s, pulling his knuckles to his lips to brush against them. 

“I’m okay,” Jake says softly. “I am, Kaur. It’s not so bad.”

“It’s not-... you got fucking stabbed in your own kitchen, Jake.” Kauri’s lips thin and he looks away, over towards the TV, playing Clue.

Funny, Jake thinks, woozy and untethered to any kind of focus. My mom used to play Clue when we were alone, after. Made her feel better for a while.

“Just a… a flesh wound,” Jake manages in a terrible approximation of a British accent.

Kauri just looks at him, expression serious, and leans over until their foreheads touch. He’s warm, and Jake’s eyes close, basking in the body heat that comes off of him, surrounds them both. “Don’t,” Kauri whispers. “Please don’t make jokes. I thought-”

“It’s okay,” Jake murmurs. 

Eventually, he should probably tell someone he can only sort of feel the hand on the injured side. But not now. 

“It’s okay. It’s not s’bad. I got the good drugs, right?”

“Antibiotics and…” Kauri squints at the label on the bag attached to the IV, then winces and shakes his head. “Sorry. Can’t read today. It, uh. It kind of comes and goes when I’m worried, and today-”

“I get it. But… you don’t have to worry about me, Kaur. It’s over, it happened… I’ll feel better pretty fast. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Kauri says softly, but he relaxes beside Jake, keeping a hold of his hand. His fingers are slightly chilled, but they warm against Jake’s. The two of them settle into silence for a while, a woman in black on the TV with eyes blown wide in comic exaggeration of anger speaking in a blur of sound Jake knows by heart but can’t really pick apart from anything else, not just yet, not right now. 

He knows this movie by heart. He and his mom used to curl up under a blanket while she closed her eyes and prayed for things to get better and Jake prayed for his dad to die in a car accident or some other terrible way, and make it slow, and then pray with terror not to go to hell for thinking like that.

If men like his father go to heaven, Jake would rather burn in hell.

At least my favorite bands would be there, he thinks, and laughs to himself, shoulders shaking a little, sending a ripple of pain down his arm and spiking into his skull. He winces, but the thought still strikes him as too funny to quit circling woozily around his mind, and he keeps laughing a little.

Kauri turns to look at him, eyebrows raised. “What are you laughing at?”

Jake blinks over at him, those wide blue eyes. It had been hell not to be able to hold him for so long, with eyes like that. Real hell, the kind where you spend your days wishing for a connection that seems too hard to make. “Nothing, just… thinking about shit with my dad,” He says, finally. “My mom and I used to watch Clue all the time. It’s her favorite movie.”

“Yeah?” Kauri looks over his shoulder, back at the television, and Jake’s eyes move lazily over the slight bump in his nose where it was broken by someone years ago, the dip of his lips, the roundness of his chin, angling a little with age. The way his neck would feel to trace with just one fingertip, how he smiles when Jake does it, asks him what the fuck he’s looking at when there’s way more to Kauri that needs attention right now than just his face.

There’s a lazy wave of warmth in Jake, a steady thrum of something that goes much deeper than arousal, at the memory.

Adoration.

“Yeah,” He says, softly. “She’d put it on when he left the house, we’d make popcorn and watch it. Saturday night special, popcorn and a movie, Mom and Jake.”

“Where’d your dad go?” Kauri asks, then the answer catches up with him, and he winces. “Wait, sorry. I think I know where he went.”

“Church.”

That is clearly not what Kauri expected to hear. “I-... what?” He turns back to Jake, eyebrows furrowing. “I thought-”

“Nope. He went to church. Fish fry on Saturdays, he volunteered.” Jake is dimly aware that this might be more than he’s ever told Kauri about his father, at least more than he’s ever said that wasn’t laser-focused on the hurts, the bruises, the concussion, the ER visits where Jake learned to lie. “He was a magician with a deep fryer. Best fucking fish I ever ate.” He laughs, then coughs a little against the new round of ache in his shoulder. 

Kauri is quiet for a moment, his eyes searching Jake’s face, maybe looking for an idea of how to respond the right way. Jake knows that look - he’s seen it less and less over the years, but it never fully stops.

Kauri never stops looking for the safe answer, the one that won’t get him hurt. Jake never stops being ready to fight his way out if it happens again. Kauri is still ready to say what the abuser needs to hear, placate and please and keep himself alive.

Jake is still ready to pick up a weapon and use it if his father ever comes near he or his mother again. Not that he ever will. Not that he even wants to, sixteen years after Jake last saw his face. 

But he’s still built, deep within, to fight the threat. And so is Kauri, in his own way. 

“I love you so much,” Jake says softly. “I hope you didn’t pull anything dragging my ass around.”

“Mmmn, guess I’ll find out,” Kauri says softly, snuggling back up to him, then. “Should we change the movie? If it’s, like, a thing for you-”

“Nah.” Jake smiles, slightly. He feels pleasantly drunk, on whatever the painkiller slowly drip-feeding into his arm is. A little woozy, a little bit in love with it. “It’s like a comfort thing, really. I should call my mom-”

“I already did,” Kauri says, gently pushing him back down as Jake tries to make himself sit up. “She’s driving up. She said she’ll get here in the morning, she had to find someone to watch her dog.”

Jake blinks twice. “Mom has a dog?”

“I think it’s new. But, um. You can’t exactly meet her at her hotel, Jake. She’s gonna have to come here.”

Jake feels a rush of old nerves prickling along his arms, the hair of his neck trying to stand up. He closes his eyes, tries to push it back down. “I’ve never given her my address. It’s not safe for us. What if-... I don’t know. I’ve just never… I’ve always worried that if he found her, you know, that he’d… convince her to tell him where I live. He’d turn us all in just to feel like the big righteous moral hero all over again. Probably hard to feel that way when you’re hitting a teenager. Easier when you’re turning in vigilantes with stolen property.” He spits the words, and Kauri flinches a little. “Shit. Sorry, Kaur.”

“No, it’s. It’s okay. I get what you mean. But I don’t think your mom would do that. She loves you.”

“She does.” Jake exhales, closes his eyes. Inside him there is still an angry child that wants to point out that it hasn’t always been enough. But there’s a grown man, and a decade of fucking therapy, telling him there’s a whole lot more to it than that. “And she’s finally come around to understanding why I do this. Yeah… yeah, we’ll tell her where I am. It’ll be fine. Honestly, it’s not so bad. Jameson really did a great job on the stabbing.” Jake tries to laugh again. “Fucking surgeon with a butcher knife. He managed to miss every fucking bit of me that would have killed me.”

“Except for if you bled out,” Kauri points out, voice small. 

“Yeah… but I didn’t.” Jake thinks of Antoni’s face, the focus in his dark eyes, the quick movement of his hands, the blinding agony of the cloth being forced into the wound to soak up the blood, the way Antoni had leaned all his weight forwards to put enough pressure to staunch the bleeding. Jake had never felt pain like that before, and he’s not sure he could handle feeling it again. “Ant was there. It’ll be okay. Where is he?”

“In his room.” Picking at the heavy thick blanket laid over Jake, not quite looking at him now, Kauri asks, “How are you so calm about this?”

“Drugs,” Jake answers right away. “Like ninety percent drugs.” He groans as a throbbing ache travels from the stab wound, up into his skull, all the way down to his toes. “Fuck. The… whatever’s in there helps. But also…” Jake sighs, letting his eyes drift to the ceiling, over the popcorn-texture there. He’d meant to scrape it clean and smooth, when he bought the house, but other stuff kept taking priority, and he hadn’t gotten around to it yet. “This isn’t th’ first time, you know?”

Kauri frowns. “Jake, I have licked just about everything on your body, I’ve never seen a scar from-”

“Not… not stabbed. But… stuck here, on a couch-bed, tryin’... tryin’ to heal from shit. That’s not new.” Jake exhales. Above him, the blades of the ceiling fan circle lazily, and his eyes follow the movement of the shadows. 

“No, I guess not.”

“In any case… I haven’t s-seen… Jameson’s upstairs, right? Can you get him down here?”

Something passes over Kauri’s face, a shadow, a discomfort and darkness that Jake can’t quite read. “Jameson’s not in the house, Jake.”

“What? Why?” Jake starts trying to sit up again, and this time Kauri’s gentle push isn’t enough to get him back down. He grinds his teeth against the pain and forces himself upright, trying to shift his legs over the side of the bed. The room spins around him, dizzy-sick flip in his stomach, but he ignores it. He’s felt worse than this and kept moving before. “Shit, fuck, I should’ve made sure he didn’t leave-”

“He didn’t. I made him go.”

The look Jake turns on Kauri is baffled, but there’s anger, too, welling up inside him. “You what?”

“I told him he can’t stay here if he’s a danger to you and the others,” Kauri says, but he cringes back from Jake’s expression, instinctive fear. Jake hates how he looks like his dad - huge and muscular, a threat inherent in his existence that he might not give off if he were smaller. But his bulk and his strength is also the thing that makes him capable of withstanding the danger he puts himself in for them. It’s the reason he could come home and pick Chris up with a broken rib and carry him after they raided the last safehouse he’d lived in. It’s the reason he could finally fight back with his dad. It’s the reason the kids at his new schools, one after another after another as he and his mom moved constantly to try not to be found, left him alone. 

“Kauri, he can’t-... Jameson’s not. He can’t live on his own.”

“That’s a lie,” Kauri says, lips barely moving. “That’s a lie they tell us-”

“No, that’s not what I-... Jameson’s like Chris,” Jake says, softly. “Like Chris used to be. He was treated like an animal, Kauri. He didn’t get to use fucking utensils to eat in the last two places he was held, he told me himself. He can’t live on his own yet. If you kicked him out… Jesus Christ, Kauri, do you not remember how it felt when you were kicked out?”

Kauri looks like he’s been slapped. “Wait, Jake-... I didn’t mean-”

“We found you half-dead under a goddamn bush, Kauri, you can’t do that to someone else just because I got a little bit stabbed! Shit. Fuck. I gave him a burner phone, if he’s still got it on him, maybe I can call-”

“Jakob fucking Stanton!” Kauri yells so rarely, and Jake goes still, turning to look at him, seeing the anger written across Kauri’s face. Kauri angry is electric, and immensely sexy, and something Jake had gone so long thinking he would never see unless Vincent Shield showed up with a new idea for how to make up for all his failures by forcing himself around someone who hated him. “Will you fucking listen to me?!”

Jake just sits there, staring at him. He can’t even find the words. Eventually, he just nods.

“I didn’t kick him out on the street, I’m not that awful, and fuck you for thinking I am and we’re going to talk about that later when you aren’t half off your head from painkillers. I don’t want him here until you’re feeling better in case it happens again, so I-... so I sent him home with Nat. She doesn’t have anyone living with her right now, and she said okay, so he’s going to stay with her.” Kauri swallows, reaching slowly out to lay his hand on Jake’s leg. “He and I talked. He said it’s always been men, Jake. All of the ones who hurt him were men, one of them was... was really big like you, I guess. So I thought-... if he’s with Nat, maybe it won’t happen again for long enough for him to, to work it through in therapy and Dr. Berger maybe can give him, give him s-something to help. So maybe he won’t, um, hallucinate or… or w-whatever the next time.” Kauri’s eyes well up, glimmer with tears that don’t fall. “I was trying to help. I thought he’d feel safer with only a woman, maybe, and I sent him alone so that he’d know he can’t hurt Allyn, he was really scared of that, and…”

Jake’s mouth hangs open.

Kauri slumps over, his forehead slowly resting against Jake’s back where he sits slightly behind him now that Jake is nearly off the bed. “I had to make sure everyone’s safe. I didn’t know what else to do. I sent Chris to stay with Laken overnight but he’ll be back tomorrow, Antoni’s fucked up but he’s in his room and he’s safe, and all the rescues promised to stay in their rooms and Allyn tried to go with Jameson and I think they hate me now because I said no, but I didn’t-... I tried to think of what you would do, if it had been Chris or me he’d hurt. I was trying to be like you. I’m s-sorry if I fucked it up, I’m sorry, please, I thought you were going to die, please don’t be mad at me-”

“Kauri.” Jake turns, and uses his good hand to lift Kauri’s chin, meeting his eyes. 

Blue on blue, always. 

“I’m not mad,” He says, gently. “Not… not now. You’re right, I shouldn’t have… just been a shit deciding what you did without asking. I’m sorry. So, let me just… you spent the last couple of hours really fucking busy, huh?”

Kauri nods, kissing Jake’s fingertips, one by one. “I’m sorry,” He whispers. “I’m not… I’m not good at this, I’m not... not... I was so scared. I didn’t know what you would do, Jake, and Nat said she thought it was a good idea, so-”

“It is. It is a good idea.” Kauri blinks, surprised, and the tears that have been threatening finally run, clear as crystal, down his flushed cheeks. He looks like a fucking sculpture, Jake thinks to himself, like some artist’s idea of the perfect beautiful person. “Kauri, just. Now that I get what you were trying to do… Shit. That’s really smart.”

Kauri huffs a laugh, a kind of half-sobbing sound, and shakes his head. “It’s just, I was just guessing-”

“That’s all we ever do, too,” Jake says, voice soft. “We guess, at what we can do to help. Nat always says we make the hard choices when nobody else can. Kauri, that’s the smartest fucking idea. I’m… that’s some grace under fire shit. That’s amazing.”

“It… it is?”

“Yeah.” Jake kisses him, and Kauri tastes like mouthwash, like mint, kisses back with desperate intensity. “Yeah, Kaur. That’s even better than what I would have done. You’re so fucking smart. What made you decide to slum it with me?”

“You have a really good d-dick and I don’t w-w-want to lose access,” Kauri says, and he’s crying or laughing or maybe both. “You’re my eye candy.”

“You’re my Einstein.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself,” Jake says softly. 

“Heal a little first.” Kauri sighs, half-smiling, pulling Jake back into the bed to lay down again. “Everyone’s safe, Jake. At least for now. Everyone’s okay. You need to rest, and everyone’s going to be okay.”

Jake lets his head be maneuvered back onto the pillow, feels Kauri settle back down next to him, pulling the blankets back up over them both. He’s silent for a while, lets the soft sound of the end of the movie wash over him, showing the different endings.

“I love you,” He whispers. The way the adrenaline is fading makes him sleepy, drifting in a new drowsy haze, ready to dose off again. “So much.”

“Love you, too,” Kauri murmurs. 

He knows this - the couch-bed pulled out, watching movies and stand-up comedy at a low volume, a throb of pain somewhere that will heal only with time - by heart.

With Kauri’s weight and warmth beside him, it feels entirely, completely new.

-

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @whump-tr0pes @raigash @moose-teeth @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @eatyourdamnpears @boxboysandotherwhump @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @outofangband @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @thehopelessopus @butwhatifyouwrite @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @newandfiguringitout @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whumpiary @endless-whump

[katahnisharma]

gone (4) | t.h.

Summary: tom is back from shooting cherry, but he’s not okay.

Warnings: this started as my entry to the lovely b’s writing challenge @worldoftom, but you guys were so amazing and wanted a second part. this is a very emotional chapter and there are mentions of anxiety, depression, and overall intense emotions so please be careful loveys ♡

A/N: hey guys it’s been a while but life has been really really difficult so i'm sorry for the wait! i'm not entirely sure if anyone still cares about this series so here’s hoping :) for this chapter i listened to light of love by florence + the machine and all good things come to an end by the og queen nelly furtado lol. also Tumblr apparently won’t let me link certain things so if you’re looking for my masterlist or playlist it’s in my bio ♡

IF YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED IN BEING ON MY TAGLIST PLEASE FILL OUT THE NEW FORM IN MY BIO BC I WILL BE REVAMPING IT!

gif by @hllands

“Hey, did I leave my notebook in the living room?” You asked, letting your tea bag soak in the mug Tom always saved for you. It was an unspoken rule, that dark blue cup with the constellations on it from his mother was yours only. You mentioned how beautiful it was once, and Tom remembered.

It went on the list with the others.

“You mean the one with the polaroid on the cover? No, it’s not in here.” Tom called back, scrolling through Netflix to find a movie for the both of you. He’d just come back from the junket for Spies in Disguise, and he immediately called his best friend over to spend the day with him.

Well, it was supposed to be more than just another day.

Because today he was going to tell you he loved you.

“Hmm, maybe I left it in my bag upstairs. I’ll get it when I’m done with the tea.” You said, setting your mug down on the counter. It looked like it needed sugar, so you rootled around for the little jar Tom kept in one of his cabinets.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go get it!” Tom said from the couch, his nerves beginning to make him jittery. He thought that while you were in the kitchen, picking a movie would help him calm down. But he couldn’t focus on any of the descriptions, and Tom could feel his heart beat faster and faster.

He needed to get up for a few minutes.

“Are you sure? Do you want me to pick the movie then?” You teased, knowing very well Tom hadn’t found a movie yet. It was a bit of a running gag, him never being able to pick a movie. You would bite your lip to stop from laughing when he eventually got frustrated and handed you the remote.

And even in his nervous state, Tom still grinned because of you.

“Yeah, yeah, like you’re any better. We’ve seen The Avengers twice!” He shot back, a smirk on his lips when he heard you scoff in the kitchen. Apart from your smile, making you jokingly annoyed was Tom’s favorite thing. He liked how cute you were when he teased you.

“Shut up and get my notebook, Tommy!” You laughed, and Tom felt his cheeks warm at the sound.

God you were so fucking perfect.

When Harrison woke up, he almost forgot where he was. But then his vision cleared and there you were, lying in the hospital bed. Harrison’s heart clenched at the sight, remembering the events of last night that landed you here with an IV in your arm. He sat up and stretched, the old wooden chair squeaking against the floor.

The sound was what made you stir, your mind waking up from the dream.

“Harrison?” You whispered, your eyes adjusting to the dim lights in the room. The hospital bed you’d fallen asleep in the night before seemed to glow next to you, but you realized it was just an IV hooked up in your arm. Harrison smiled softly, getting up and coming to stand by your side.

“Hey, you were out like a light.” He said, handing you the glass of water a nurse had brought. You gratefully brought it to your lips, feeling a little dehydrated from whatever fluids were in the IV bag. Harrison gave your free hand a squeeze before crossing to the windows, playing with the blinds to let some sun in.

“How long have you been here?” You asked, playing with the sheets mindlessly. Harrison thought about lying, telling you he’d only arrived a few minutes ago. Because he knew you’d feel bad about it, but you could always tell when he lied.

“Since last night. I stayed here, didn’t want you to be alone.” Harrison replied, and you frowned almost immediately. You felt bad enough that he’d driven you to the hospital on his day off, but knowing that he’d also spent the night sleeping in an uncomfortable, crappy chair didn’t help with the guilt.

“And before you say ‘you shouldn’t have’, just remember you would have done the same for me. So stop beating yourself up about it.” He said, going back to his chair. You winced when it made the same creaking sound, like it was about to break. Harrison noticed, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

“But this chair was really unbearable.” He chuckled, and you finally smiled again.

“Shut up, you idiot.” You giggled, chucking a pillow at Harrison right as the nurse peeked in. You felt your face burn as she smiled at the two of you, Harrison picking up the pillow sheepishly and biting back a laugh.

“Glad to see the patient is feeling better. Can I get you anything, love?” She asked kindly, picking up the now empty class beside you. You smiled at her, shaking your head. You really just wanted to be discharged so you could leave, hospitals always made you nervous. The smell of disinfectant and the general sense of uncertainty were not your favorite sense overloads.

“No, but thank you for everything. Do you know if I’ll be able to leave today?” You asked, and the nurse nodded her head.

“You should be all set to be discharged in an hour. The doctor will check in on you in thirty minutes and then you’re all free to go.” She said, taking the pillow from an embarassed Harrison. You giggled a little when she fluffed the pillow, and returned it to your bed.

“Great, thank you again!” She gave you one last smile before leaving the room, and Harrison breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank god, I’m really hungry.”

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For Harry, last night would probably be one of the worst and strangest of his life.

After Tom broke down and sobbed into his shirt for two hours straight, he became so frenetic that Harry was afraid he would end up accidentally hurting himself. Tom tried to pack a suitcase to go after you, but he almost slipped in the shower and was so disoriented that he ran into the bedroom wall. Then he tried to cook something on the stove for Harry, but left the fire on while he got distracted trying to find your favorite cereal. Tom wasn’t completely all there, and it was pretty obvious to Harry that he was having some sort of episode.

So once Tom was focused enough to eat the banana his brother opened for him, Harry called his mother.

“Mom, I need you to tell me the name of that anxiety medicine. The one that sometimes works as a sedative.” Harry cast a glance at Tom on the couch, watching him slowly chew the banana with glossy eyes. He had been silently crying at odd times this morning, and it was definitely making Harry nervous.

“Why? Harry, what’s happened?” Nikki immediately sounded worried, running over to the medicine cabinet. She kept the anxiety medicine mainly for Harry, who used to have pretty severe bouts himself. The episodes became few and far between, until they stopped altogether.

But now Nicki was concerned Harry was having them again.

“It’s not for me, Mum. It’s for Tom. I think he’s having some sort of breakdown, and I’m afraid he might accidentally do something stupid and hurt himself.” Harry said, looking over his shoulder to see Tom staring at the banana, almost lifelessly.

“For Tom? Harry, please tell me what’s going on.” Nikki said, clutching the bottle in her hand nervously.  

“I think Tom and Y/N might be over.” Harry said, and the words had more weight than he thought they would. Like it was finally a possible reality, one where you and Tom weren’t together anymore.

“Okay, I’m on my way.”

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“Can you get in the car alright? Need any help?” Harrison asked, hovering over you as the two of you walked to the hospital parking lot. You rolled your eyes, smiling at his protective behavior. He’d been like this during your dischargement too, and it was sweet but definitely unnecessary.

“Haz, I told you. I’m perfectly fine, I swear. It really doesn’t hurt that much, and I can absolutely get into the car on my own.” You said, patting his shoulder reassuringly. Harrison sighed, biting his lip a little worriedly.

“Okay, okay, just making sure. I just don’t want you to aggravate the injury or anything. At least not until we get you home and set up.” He replied, and you couldn’t help it. You leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, watching Harrison’s mouth immediately drop open in shock.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“To thank you for being the world’s greatest div. I love you, idiot.” You said, laughing when Harrison slung an arm around your shoulder. He rolled his eyes at you, smiling playfully.

“You know I love you too, but you really didn’t need to give me that weirdass kiss.” Harrison chuckled, immediately ducking into the car before you decided to throw your purse at him. Scoffing, you got into the passenger seat and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! That hurt!”

“I’ll have you know my kisses are wonderful!” You giggled, clapping a hand over your mouth when Harrison started to fake cry and clutch his arm.

“If I agree, will you leave me alone?” Harrison laughed, starting the car and reversing out of the parking lot. You smiled wickedly, reaching up to ruffle his precious hair. Harrison recoiled instantly, whining at your little stunt.

“I take it back, I actually hate you.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where is he?” Nikki asked, rushing into the living room. Harry jumped up and led her to the bedroom, where Tom was curled up in a ball. Under the covers, he was crying softly and clutching what looked like a sweater. It seemed too small to be his, and Harry immediately realized it was your favorite sweater. The one Tom loved on you because it was what you were wearing when both of you met for the first time.

“Tom? Love, look at me please.” Nikki whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked over at Harry and mimed a glass of water, which he left to get from the kitchen. Once they were alone, Nikki gently pulled the covers back. Tom lay there, tears streaming down his face and the front of your sweater soaked.

“She’s gone...” Tom whimpered, trying to pull the covers back over his head. He was completely spent, the possibility that you were really gone hitting him like a train. Tom had pictured the rest of his life with you, and now nothing seemed worthwhile anymore if you weren’t there beside him.

“Y/N? Tell me what happened, Tom.” Nikki said, running a gentle hand through his hair. Tom relaxed under her touch, reminded of all the times in his childhood that he lay in bed upset. Breakups, rejections, failures, his mother had seen them all. And she'd always been there for him.

“We got into a fight...a big fight….and I threw my phone….”

“At her? Tom, how could you do that?” Nikki gasped softly, and Tom’s eyes widened. He found the strength to sit up, looking his mother right in the eyes.

“No...no! I would never hurt her! I threw it at the wall and I locked myself in the bathroom. But….when I came out….she was gone and there was b-blood on the f-floor and...I think-I think I-” Tom couldn’t get the rest of his words out, and Nikki knew enough to envelop her son in a hug.

“It’s okay...it’s okay, Tom.” She sighed, holding her eldest son close. The whole thing was confusing, but if Nikki knew anything about your relationship with Tom it was that it had been the best one he’d ever had. You were kind, intelligent, and strong, exactly what she had always wanted Tom to have in a partner. But hearing Tom cry and work himself up meant she knew what she needed to say. Tom had to stop living in his head.

“Tom? I want you to listen to me, it’ll be okay.”

“But….she’s gone and I hurt her….I can’t ever forgive myself…” Tom sobbed, but Nikki was adamant she would speak and get through to him.

“Look, the past is the past, it’s not in our hands.  You have the chance to ask for her forgiveness, and explain what you’re feeling right now. Don’t let your past actions dictate the future, love. That would be a mistake, because I know Y/N. She loves you and she wants to be there for you. She’ll understand what you’re going through because she cares, that’s what a real partner does. They want the best for you because it’s you. You need to forgive yourself so that she can help you heal.”

“But what if she doesn’t w-want me anymore? I know I scared her….I never wanted to do that b-but she’s been hurt and left because of me….I’m afraid Y/N won’t love me anymore!” Tom cried, his body shaking a little. Nikki rubbed his back and took the water glass from Harry, who’d reappeared in the room.

“Darling, you have to try. You have to fight for the love you want. You don’t think your father and I have gotten angry with each other? We fight and that’s normal, but at the end of it all we come back to each other. I put my feelings aside and listen to him, and he does the same. That’s how it works, we love each other so much that I’ll forgive him and he’ll forgive me.”

Nikki took Harry’s hand and held it, and Tom was finally still. There was no more crying, no more shaking. It was just a moment frozen in time, the three of them together in a little room. Harry hugged Tom and Nikki kissed his forehead, and for the first time in 36 hours Tom wasn’t afraid anymore. The fight wasn’t plaguing him anymore, and neither was the aftertaste of filming that had been slowly poisoning his mind. All he could see was you, like a vision before him wiping his tears away. With that same smile that he had fallen in love with so easily, because it was purely yours.

And that was enough for Tom to be at peace with himself.

“Thank you.” Tom whispered, and Nikki was able to smile again. Harry ruffled his hair, making Tom punch him softly in the arm. He reached for the water glass and the pills in Nikki’s hand, knowing that he needed to take them.

“Take these two and it’ll help a little with the anxiety. It’ll also make you a little drowsy, but it might be good to sleep it all off properly. I’ll stay here with Harry until you wake up, okay?” Nikki said, and Tom let him expend enough energy to nod and smile.

“Just...just please make sure Y/N is okay? Make sure that nothing’s wrong?” Tom said, and Nikki squeezed his right hand. Harry had his left.

“Always. Now get some real sleep, you’re going to need it...”

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“Can we please listen to something other than your terrible daily mix?” You laughed, Harrison clutching his chest to feign offence. He reluctantly handed you the aux cord and you smiled, knowing exactly what you wanted to play. Taking a couple seconds to sift through your own playlists, you found the song you were looking for and pressed play. Harrison smirked at your choice, rolling his eyes at the songs you played over and over again. He attempted to steal the aux back from you, but you dodged him quickly.

“Hey, focus mister! I’m not about to get into an accident right out of the hospital!” You said, giggling as he started to belt out the lyrics and dance. He laughed, rolling his eyes as he focused on the road again.

“I’m a great driver! I’m just trying to save myself from your shit music taste.” He said with a smirk and now it was your turn to roll your eyes. Harrison wasn’t a bad driver, but he definitely wasn’t a great one. The first time you had gotten into the car with him had been to get groceries and it was a disaster. He forgot to turn around before reversing and nearly hit a little old lady with her cart, and almost got hit merging onto the highway. After that, you were careful to look out for him even if it meant you became a backseat driver.

“Sure, Haz. Whatever you want to believe. Just please get us home in one piece!” You laughed, leaning your head back and letting the sunlight warm your face. If not for the events of the previous day, you would have basked in the glory of such a beautiful day.

But your mind turned to Tom, as it always seemed to.

“Hey, is my bag in the back?” You asked, suddenly desperate to check its contents. Harrison turned down the music, furrowing his eyebrows at your change in mood. You turned to look at him, a slight fear in your eyes. Harrison nodded, gesturing to the backseat.

“Yeah, it’s there. Why? What’s wrong?”

“I just...I just need to make sure something is in there…” You trailed off, swiveling in your seat to grab at your handbag. Harrison watched from the corner of his eye as you set it on your lap, rootling through it quickly.

“Whoa, whoa. What are you looking for?” Harrison asked, a little concerned by how frantic you seemed to be. With a sigh of relief, you feel your hands grasp what you’re looking for and you pull it out slowly. Harrison’s eyes automatically soften, seeing your eyes water with your most prized possession in your hand.

“Is that the notebook Tom bought you? The one he bought you when he found out you wanted to be a writer?”

“Y-yeah...it is. I just wanted to make sure it was still there, you know? That’s dumb, isn’t it? I mean...he probably doesn’t even want to be with me a-anymore. So...so why am I….why am I holding on like this?” You felt the dam break finally, the tears streaming down your face. Harrison bit his lip, pulling the car over and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Hey...hey...look at me.” Your tears were staining the cover, the little drops of water creating little streams on the surface. It felt like someone had pulled the rug from underneath you, and that you’d discovered there was no floor. What would you do without Tom? You loved him more than anything, but you were no fool. His anger couldn’t have come from out of the blue, it was something repressed that Tom had been feeling for a long time. Without warning, your insecurities began to mount.

Maybe he was bored of you.

Maybe you annoyed him.

Maybe he’d found someone else.

Maybe you weren’t good enough and he’d realized it.

And then the worst of them all.

Maybe the rest of the world was right.

“I’m losing him.” You whispered, and Harrison’s heart clenched at your words. He knew you were always insecure about dating Tom, but you’d never vocalized anything like this before.

“No, no you’re…”

“I’m not an idiot, Haz! I’ve seen the signs! H-he’s done with me….I’m just d-delaying the inevitable. I should have….I should have known I wasn’t good enough for him. He’s him and I’m j-just me, who the hell was I fooling? E-even the fans knew it!”

“Y/N...come on...that’s not-”

“He hasn’t wanted to spend any real time with me since he came back from Cherry. It’s like I don’t even exist to him, I’m invisible until he has to talk to me. I’ve tried five times to get him to have dinner with me and he rejected me every time, Haz. All I’ve heard for two months is ‘I’m going out with the boys, sorry’ or ‘Just going to sleep, don’t feel like eating’. And I tried to understand, I really did. It must have been so hard shooting a movie like that, it would be emotionally draining for anyone. Hell, even the book is emotionally draining-”

“I don’t think...”

“Let me finish, please? Haz, I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired, I’m so tired. I can’t fight for this relationship anymore when I’m not even sure if he wants it. He pushes me away all the time and it hurts me to see him like that. Tom isn’t happy, and I think it’s because of me. So I won’t hold him back anymore, I’ll just quietly disappear. No drama, no fighting, nothing. I can’t bear knowing I’m the reason he’s unhappy, it would kill me to think that.”

You broke again, the tears burning your eyes as you clutched the notebook tighter to your chest. It brought you a little comfort, knowing what you would have to do next. You needed to leave Tom, to let him live his life and be happy. You clearly couldn’t make him happy anymore and though that was something you’d struggled to accept in the last few hours, it was the right thing to do. You had no delusions about the way you looked, you always felt rather plain and boring compared to the beautiful women Tom was used to being around. He would be better off with someone else, someone as amazing as him.

Someone who isn’t you.

Harrison’s throat went dry as you slowly raised a hand to wipe at your tears, your eyes glossing over as you stared lifelessly out the window. He had a horrible feeling that you were serious about what you had just said, and he wasn’t sure how all this had happened. How could he have let you feel like this?

How could they not have noticed?

“Please, please don’t say-”

“Harrison, I have to. I can’t do this anymore.” You whispered, and Harrison stopped mid sentence. You never called him by his full name, it was always just Haz. He squeezed your hand as you cried, sobs wracking your body that made him cry too. You barely got the words out, but Harrison knew them before you said it.

“I have to leave because I love him.”

IF YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED IN BEING ON MY TAGLIST PLEASE FILL OUT THE NEW FORM IN MY BIO BC I WILL BE REVAMPING IT!

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Gone Taglist: @tshdarling @hestoosirius @ana-cxst @aeciru @play-morezeppelin @bobo-bush @itsjusttor  @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @autty0314 @name-me-regret @prfctdayas @youngblood199456 @fab-notfat @technolilly @hollandinq @theetherealbloom @littlebookbengal @spideyyeet @midnightbarnes @3prettyinpink3 @lulueliott24 @spxder-bxcky @spiderbibby @ietss @winterseba @sehunights @blahhhhhhhaaa @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @sixwyrxstuff @noelleivy @madeinthemidnightmemories @tryn25 @iriaaarb @marvelobsessedteenager @eleanornicolelocke @breakingnasa @iwishitwasthe-80s @wesleypiper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @1dstark-blog @totesem @itstomhollands @stxfxniexreads @astrobxbeee @magicianraging @reveluvspecial @be-cautious-around-bri @audreylovesashton706 @whereverigoimightstay @natasha-stark-parker @jacksnoodlez99 @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @stabbyhat @blackeighteen @itisjustpaula @caitsymichelle13 @herondalism @ameliathackray @pluckypete @rachaeldonnaspiteri1 @farfromjustordinary @cosmicmndes @farfromhoran @giveme-gaskarth @likeit-or-leaveit @captured-firelight @spnsquirrel @some-random-stranger-007 @silver-bubbles @thevelvetseries @screeching-student-unknown @melrosaeparker 

Moots Tag -let me know if you want me to take you off :)- @angelic-holland @fairytaleparker @honeymoonparker @screamholland @hollandstom @calmholland @spiesindisguise @neverlandparker @nnatasha @parkerpuff @the-claire-bitch-project @angelhaz11 @farfromhaz @blushypetey @hazinhoodies @spiderrpcrker @yeahimcrying @definitely-not-black-cat​ @quackeroos @ts-holland @t-holland2080 

[knightofameris]

period pains pt. 2

a/n: I HAD TO SPLIT IT UP BECAUSE I REALIZED THE TAGS GOT MESSSYYYYYY SO LOL

also just like i mentioned in pt 1, i’m still getting used to writing for haikyuu boys but i think i have an okay grasp at them,,, bokuto is the one i’m least confident on

haikyuu boys taking care of their s/o who’s on their period ;-;

the boys in question: Nishinoya Yuu, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Sawamura Daichi, Bokuto Koutarou [i had to do noya and tanaka cus they’re PERFECT for THIS] [also under the cut, i didn’t realize how long it was ahahah]

[reposting AGAIN because it’s not showing up in the tags ):<]

nishinoya yuu

okay okay let’s say you’re stuck at home and you’re like oh shit

i don’t have anymore pads or tampons

must be pretty shitty so anyway (im sorry im not judging because this deadass happened to me twice LOL)

anyway you decide to text your boyfriend bb noya to get you some

and he’s like !!! I HAVE A MISSION AND IVE GOTTA HELP MY GIRL

because ya know he’s a simp king for yOU his sunshine

so he runs to the store to get you whatever you use

but then he sees all these different types of tampons and pads

this boy is overwhelmed

but then there’s some people in the same aisle as him

a couple he notices, and the girl giggles while whispering to her boyfriend “wow what a sweet boyfriend he is.” and he gets so PROUD

and the girl probably realized how lost he is and just told him to ask you.

so anyways he grabs the ones you told him to and the girl also tells him to get her favorite snacks and chocolate and heat packs and just everything you’d ever need

and he gets them he doesn’t care about no price tag 😤😤 anything for his queen

so when he gets to your place with all of these bags you’re like overwhelmed but your heart just BURSTS because he’s pulling out your favorite snacks and every other item while saying “this is for you in case you want to snack.” or “these heat packs will help your cramps” or “your favorite ghibli movie so we can watch together”

he’s so sweet i love him so much <3

needless to say y’all spend the rest of the day cuddling and stuff <3

tanaka ryuunosuke

okay i just really like the idea of the boys going on a tampon/pad run for you so like

a lot like noya, he is a SIMP KING for YOU his GIRL and he’s on a mission

so when he see’s all of these different types, like noya he’s overWHELMED

so he deadass texts you “what size vagina are you” while sending a photo of all the tampons and pads

what a dumbass

but you love him and at least it got a good laugh out of ya especially with everything.

when he goes to check out he feels people staring at him and but unlike that one text of those series of boyfriends buying pads/tampons for their girlfriends ( i hope you guys know which one i’m talking about)

tanaka would be so proud like “hell yeah i got a girlfriend and hell yeah i’m doing this for her because i LOVE HER”

we stan one man and his name’s tanaka ryuunosuke

anyways on his way home he also stops by a boba store and gets you your favorite drink

how sweet i love him

he also decides to spend the rest of the day with you and y’all watch movies or just sleep and he does whatever he can to help you get through your period

also he might’ve bought you wAY too much

like deadass probably a years worth. his reasoning is that there’s so much BLOOD probably i love him

sawamura daichi

daichi goes dadchi well i mean he is daddy but ya know

anywayyyyyy you probably were complaining to him about how your period was coming soon but that it was also late but you were still having ghost cramps

daichi has a moment of fear because he thinks you’re pregnant but then he remembers that the last time y’all did the do was before your last period, y’all been busy with volleyball and school okay lol

so daichi asks if there’s anything he can do because he wants to help however he can

but you’re probably just shake your head knowing he’s pretty busy with captain duties

he is a responsible dad and you love him for that and you dont want to take him from his kids but he kinda like is hesitant to not do anything for you.

so he just asks you to wait for him after practice so that he could walk you home and he also invites you to watch them

so that’s how you find yourself suddenly very aware of your period coming like the niagra falls and you dash over to your bag to see if you have any pads and for some reason!!! you forgot to restock!!! so you ask kiyoko

and she gives you some of hers

and you rush to the restroom

daichi’s confused but when you get back he looks over at you and has a look of concern so you just smile and give him a nod and a thumbs up

so anyway practice ended earlier than usual (probably because Daichi asked Ukai, but you didn’t know that but you did have a feeling)

Daichi walked with you (and the team also walked with you lol) and he went ahead to the store on the way home and just bought ALL of your favorite snacks AND chocolate

Noya and Tanaka go full on sad mode because they were like “that’s what I WOULD DO if I had a girlfriend” like that one meme with timmy turner’s dad, i hope y’all knwo what im talking about luh mao

so he walks you ALL the way to your place and he decides to stay awhile and your mom LOVES him so she’s fine with him in your room

he cuddles with you the rest of the evening before he has to go home and he makes sure to give you a bunch of forehead kisses or any other type of kisses.

i luv him <3

bokuto koutarou

okay sorry i had to use that gif cus HE’S SO THICC HIS ARMS BRO sorry sorry okay anyways

so you’re probably in hella pain one day but like you’re trying to get through the day with classes

usually you do work after school to wait for bokuto but this was a particularly bad day

so when you told bokuto that you’re gonna head home early he got all emo mode

“wha- do you not love me” and he has those dot eyes and you start to feel bad but like you’re in PAIN but you also know that he doesn’t particularly have the skill to tell how you’re feeling and stuff

ya gotta be really good at open communication with this kid

but open communication is good in general so like ya know

anyway, you’ll probably just tell him that you’re feeling sick because of your period or akaashi might mention something if he’s there

but anyway bokuto becomes hella understanding and tells you to rest up

during practice bokuto gets a little bit worried because he also wants to be a good boyfriend, ya know, so he probably talks to akaashi about all these things he’s going to do (it’s a little bit ,,, much. very extra LMAO)

but akaashi stops him and tells him that something small and simple might be best for you

so, he just makes sure to get some of your favorite snacks and runs on over to your place as soon as practice ends

once he gets to your place and you notice that he got you snacks and such it probably just makes your kokoro go doki doki LMAO

he probably apologizes for not really like realizing you were tired and in pain but you just make grabby motions towards him and he goes :D and dives into your bed, gently

he’s such a baby he probably rests his head ontop of your chest and like his legs are slotted against yours and you just hug him while playing with his hair

he lets you talk about your day and he talks about his day and as the two of you guys talk slowly the two of you fall asleep.

a/n: like i said in pt. 1, i was gon make parts of it nsfw because ya know, sometimes a little spice can help yo cramps LOL so if anyone wants an nsfw version i can do it, also again if someone wants other characters too ill do it. also im so sorry i felt a little lack of motivation for bokuto’s part im a clown

[tricewithaz]

THOTS ON SHADOW AND BONE

Hello everyone! it is I, Trice, and i come with my thoughts on the Shadow and Bone show cause ive got many

I'm gonna divide this in what i liked, what i disliked, and what i think could have been better but didn't really bother me. Feel free to send your opinions too!

As a whole, I really liked the show and I think it's a great adaptation that both fans and newcomers will enjoy. It's super well done! and every episode had me glued to the tv even though I knew what was going to happen.

Beware this is long

To start,

What i liked

Mal and Alina

I never really liked Mal in the books, mainly cause he had like, nothing going on for him, and not having his pov made him no favors whatsoever. Alina's perception of him was everychanging, two factors that didn't make him unlikeable necessarily, but that made me not want to read about him. In the show he's way more likeable and even though he still doesn't have a lot going on for him, you can see that he's always trying to protect alina, and you also see a bit of his demeanor through Archie's acting. I think he made a great job at portraying him. And Alina! Alina who in the books was essentially a y/n sort of character (although she did get better over time), her character, likes, dislikes, her DRIVE was incredibly portrayed in the show. Also Jessie (loml, marry me) and Archie have incredible chemistry together and they sold their yearning SO WELL (and so did the kid actors portraying them as children oh my GOD)...yall...i cried when they held hands. My favourite scene was definitely when Alina took care of Mal's wounds (a favorite trope of mine). And the HURT in their eyes whenever they thought the other was in danger....i saw the show dubbed but I'm sure their voices made it beyond incredible as well, their face acting was just on. point. Overall the show rEALLY makes me root for them both individually and together which is something the books didn't manage to do.

The Darkling

AAAAA i really enjoyed the Darkling omg, incredible charisma, Ben does such a great job (and so did his voice actor in Spanish oh my GOD). His acting was just as I imagined it in the books and i loved how he could be as sweet and mysterious as he could be menacing. In fact! i liked him more than i did in the book, and i think it was a great choice to make him more human. I'm not sure if this was Ben or the writing, but i could really see his yearning for an equal, for Alina, his loneliness and his thirst for power and control too. Great love interest, even greater villain. And his wardrobe was phenomenal. I also really liked how they implied that The Darkling was a name given by other people, it was very believable that people would call someone who literally controls shade something akin to "son of the dark" or something of the sort, instead of it being a name he gives himself or his job title (both if which are incredibly pathetic and cringy to think about).

Jesper

No comments. He was just great. I love Kit.

Nina

Omg Danielle did SUCH a great job at portraying Nina, it's exactly how i imagined her in Six of Crows.

Helnik

THE. YEARNING. THE. CHEMISTRY. I didn't love their scenes at the boat but once that was over I was practically screaming at the screen to jUST KISS ALREADY. Calahan and Daniell have such good chemistry together and the few changes they made only served the story better. I did wish they had development over more time cause Matthias' change of mind felt too quick, but i get why they had to rush. Because of how good their chemistry was, their fallout also was incredibly painful.

Inej's fear of the Menagerie and her morals

Amita's portrayal of Inej's hurt, devotion and her refusal to kill (and later hurt cause she has killed) is incredibly subtle but so SO effective. She's so talented really and truly sold Inej's feelings throughout the show.

VFX

Man.....the fold, the volcra, the grisha powers.....kudos to the animators and overall artistic team cause they were incredible. Also seeing the different title animations in each episode was such a tiny detail that made me so excited and they all looked so good.

Ketterdam

Again, kudos to the artistic team, everything about Ketterdam felt so alive (and weirdly moist), truly sold a kind of aesthetic and life that is so characteristic if the Barrel, even when i didn't imagine it that way in the books.

David

He appeared like, twice, and both times were so cute and charming I can't wait to see more of him both on his own and with Genya.

The Wardrobe

So, at first i hated the keftas. I thought the looked tacky and costume, but when you see them on screen they're just perfect (although i have to say the patterns on some of the keftas were kind of...cheap looking? and the training keftas were just kinda boring. My favourite was the Darkling's. Aside from that, i really liked Kaz's and inej's clothes too. Very distinctive and recognizable (although it was kind of weird seeing Inej in teal instead of purple lmao).

And the queen's dresses. Chefs kiss.

It's...so cheesy (affectionate)

The whole show felt like the kind of movies I would watch as a kid like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean. The writing was stylized enough to make it incredibly dramatic and overall there was just so much heart behind all of it. Definetely a show to watch again and again and feel all of it, cause that's what it being so cheesy managed, to make me actually feel for it. It feels like something to watch on a rainy afternoon after a bad day....it's great okay i really enjoyed it, even (specially) the most unbelievable parts of it. And here's the thing, it's something that i think a lot of newer tv and film have lost, so this is good.

What i didn't like

Zoya

Mostly cause of the writing. Originally, in the first book, i didn't like her, neither as a character (stereotypical mean girl with no other motivation than to bang the love interests....all three of them....what's new i still think it's an incredibly sexist trope) or a person (hey at least this was intentional), but over time i grew to LOVE her (mean girl turns out to have a good heart and actually respects the mc and decides to fight alongside her cause it's what's right, without necessarily liking her or giving up her character??? AND she has strong motivations??? now THAT'S new). In the show, i hoped they would keep her mean girl nature while foreshadowing her depth, but all they did was turn her into a petty seductress with barely any screentime, and that only makes her not even a bad antagonist but just a boring character to watch. Not only that but they took away a big part of her character that needed to be developed in the next books. I wanted to watch her rivalry with Alina, her unjustified venomous tongue too, I wanted to be entertained by her and I wasn't. This was also a problem cause when she finally changed teams, and when she hugged Alina, it was incredibly unsatisfying, it would have had a way stronger effect if we had seen her being Ruthless Zoya with a big ambition. I also didn't like how we were told that she didn't like alina, or that she had a family, instead of it being shown on screen. Just from the show, all i can tell you about her is that she likes to bang people and she has a good moral code i guess. Yall, I'm so petty about this.

Kaz

So, I didn't hate him, in fact i think I would have enjoyed him if I hadn't read the books first, cause the two things that bother me about him were two essential characteristics of him in the books. FIrstly, he seems so strained, instead of the seemingly laid back, almost chill looking (even though we know he's not chill at all) Kaz we see in the books, the Kaz that always knows something that you don't. Show Kaz doesn't seem to always be in control, to always have the last word, the last laugh. Instead he seems strained, all the damn time. And I think this is mainly a writing and directing issue. And he also seems weak, something Book Kaz would never do. This is also an issue cause because he doesn't have the same presence he has in the books, the times where he is weak, don't seem as effective. Sure, Pekka Rollins has essentially reduced him and humiliated him, but I haven't seen enough of Kaz being actually dangerous for this to be shocking and for Pekka to seem even more hateable (and, i really liked Pekka, loved him as an antagonist more than i did in the books). Idk, Kaz was so charismatic and just fun and engaging to read in the books that his portrayal in the show felt lacking.

Alina's power's VFX

The little suns were cute and all but the light coming from within her was just ugly I'm sorry.

SFX

A lot of the sound design was just too stylized for the tone of the show i think. I particularly remember the sound of Mal's punches....what's that about.

What i think could have been better, but didn't particularly dislike

The Crows' storyline

And i think part of this is a consequence of Kaz not being as witty as he was in the books. Where's the incredibly complicated heist moves? the even more unbelievable C and D plans when something goes wrong? I didn't like that them getting Alina was essentially just luck, cause i didn't see enough of them being smart and quick on their feet. I also think it was unnecessary to have their storyline mixed with Alina's, i would have enjoyed watching a different heist, maybe in Ravka as well, and them incidentally crossing paths with Alina, more than i liked this storyline. ironically enough, the heist was the part i was least interested in

Genya and Alina

I just feel like her relationship with Alina wasn't strong enough, and i think it's because the show tried to make us believe they were much closer than they were without spending the necessary time in them.

Overall, I really really enjoyed the show, i will be watching it again (particularly cause i want to watch it in English) and i cannot wait for the second season omg (although i have to say, I'm scared for Nikolai)

I think that's all! I would also love to read yall's opinions and have a conversation.

[chiefavenuewerewolf]

5 Star Cinema Garden Grove

All Theatres Starlight Terrace Cinemas, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA Starlight Whittier Village, Whittier, CA Starlight Cinema City Theatres, Anaheim, CA Starlight West Grove Cinemas, Garden Grove, CA Starlight Triangle Square Cinemas, Costa Mesa, CA Starlight Dos Lagos 15, Corona, CA.

Reviews 14

ST

Steven Crow

Garden Grove features a number of movie theaters, but Starlight Cinemas always offers convenient show times and a great movie selection. Bring the whole family to this theater, where kiddos are welcomed with open arms.Patrons can park in a lot near Starlight Cinemas or take advantage of the generous street parking. Whatever you're in the mood for, Starlight Cinemas has.

All Theatres Starlight Terrace Cinemas, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA Starlight Whittier Village, Whittier, CA Starlight Cinema City Theatres, Anaheim, CA Starlight West Grove Cinemas, Garden Grove, CA Starlight Triangle Square Cinemas, Costa Mesa, CA Starlight Dos Lagos 15, Corona, CA.

Enjoy the latest movies at your local Regal Cinemas. Regal Garden Grove features stadium seating, digital projection, mobile tickets and more! Favorite place to go to the movies. Using the card is the best program. It really helps senior citizens. Everyone is always.

Garden Grove Cinema - Deals in Garden Grove, CA Groupon. Cinema deals in Garden Grove, CA: 50 to 90% off deals in Garden Grove. AMC DINE-IN Fullerton 20. AMC Anaheim GardenWalk 6. Active: 2019-11-22.

Please read this oneI don’t usually write reviews but the experience me and my wife had is unbelievable My wife was in a car wreck on 1-24-15 and hurt her back but still wanted to see a movie for Valentine’s day 2-14-15 so I got the tickets and went I asked the lady at the door if my wife could Just sit on bench until movie time and she got a bad attitude problem with me so I asked to see The manager she came out and I told her about the problem she seemed like she didnt care at all. But she finally let my wife sit then all we heard was laughing and giggling from them made my wife feel very bad and very uncomfortable we left and won’t be back ever.By the way me and my daughter usually go to the movies there at least once a week sometimes twice a week and have been going there for almost four years now and the guy’s that work there on the weekdays are great very kind and never any Problems at all.

BR

Brian Bergström

Was happy with the pricing of the movies here. First run movies at discounted prices. The theaters are small, but comfortable. I first saw a movie here in 1987 and it hasnt changed much, except the technology.What disappointed me were the lights that never turn off and when the movie starts nobody closes the doors (I went to the back and closed the doors myself, nothing I could do about the lights). How can one really enjoy a movie theater experience with lights in the ceiling shining down in your eyes.I came here for 3D, because ONLY the Dolby Digital 3D works for me, the crappy RealD 3D doesnt work nearly as well. Then as it turned out the movie I wanted to see was not being shown in 3D at all.I would go back again, but probably sit more towards the front away from the spotlights and open doors.

PA

Pat Butterfield

5 Star Cinema Garden Grove Ca

This place and staff has always given me a pleasurable experience and have gone on various days and times for the last 5yrs Even going during regular hours/days but frequent the senior/family days & hours. Been there during peak hrs & always someone at doors ready to go in and clean soon as a movie is over. Cant go to the Regals or Edwards and the like for top movies popcorn and drinks for the same price or less than what others charge just to get in the doors! Too bad Steve Crow had a bad experience, I have never seen or heard of such a thing all the times Ive gone. Im even greeted & asked where my friend is when I go alone. And acknowledged when Ive not been seen for awhile! Local theaters always best over commercial places anytime!

A

A Private User

I see a lot of people complaining about the employees and the seats and screens. Download blackberry handheld software for 8520. I have never had a problem with any of the employees. They arent really friendly, but have never been rude to me or any of my kids. Sure it s small, but for the value, worth it for me. We could never afford to see a movie otherwise. If you get their saver card, you get a free ticket for every four you buy, even on family night. Plus you get free popcorn and free refills on popcorn and soda. Tip..go early in family nights, you will be in line for a bit, and it will fill up.

WE

Wesley To

Dont be fooled by the price and Starlight brand. This place has almost nothing else in common with other Starlights. No reserved seating. No seats in the center (aisle runs down the middle). Small, dim screen. But the other Starlights (Triangle Square in Costa Mesa, Cinema City in Anaheim) have identical pricing and feature reserved seating, center seats, and larger screens, as well as having more total screens, more seats per screen, and nicer aesthetics. Go to those ones if possible. Those actually deserve the '4 Star' nomenclature.

A

A Private User

5 Star Theater Garden Grove

Hate it. We came to watch sherlock holmes and half way through my lady went to use the restrooms and got kicked out cause the management said she was trying to jump movies. she had the ticket stub and she wasnt trying to jump movie.. she waited out side in the cold. while i was waiting for her to return. finally i went out side to look for her and i was very shocked to find out what had happened.. Never again will we ever come here again. Go some where else management seemed racist..

YA

Yaseng Yann

I go to this theater almost exclusively esp so that we could go bowling before or after a movie: $7 refillable (one time before the movie ends) popcorn, clean theater, good sound system, friendly staff. Prices are catching up to that of UA and Regency..$9/adult is more than at some other places; so we are pulling the reins a tad. Maybe it pays to be a frequent movie pass goer..then again, we should head out to the state parks and outdoors more. Head out and shape up, America!

A

A Private User

i think this is a fantastic bargain to go to the movies in these most difficult of times. the popcorn is great ..the seating is good and the value is fabulous. we try to make it every Tuesday. i found the employees to be professional and courtesy so i suppose everyone has there opinion and mine is that keep the price low and the audiences will come. thanks.

JO

John Taylor

The movie industry is my passion. When I was a teen I loved going to the cinema. This place is comfy, small and a great place to take out your girlfriend. However last time my girlfriend and I went everything was just dirty. Spit bubble gums, popcorn and smelly restrooms. Not a romantic experience at all. I hope they take some actions!

LE

Lexi Buelna

Is this as fancy as Bella Terra? No. But as far as a discount theater is concerned, this is a definite 5 star theater! Everyone has been nothing but polite and friendly. Only 4 movies at a time but, for the price, im willing to wait a while until they change the options! And any theater with $1 hot dogs is fine by me.

JA

JAN VARELA

Awesome new movies. Get the frequent movie goer pass and get free movies and popcorn. CLEAN place and if you go to their site print a FREE popcorn and upgrade to large popcorn & Large drink with refills for $9.00Tuesday & Thursday $4.00 all day.everyday $5.00 until after either 4 or 5:00pm then its $6.00

BR Abs marvel connector types.

Brandon Kheang

Absolutely love this theater, $6 Tuesday, Thursdays, and Sundays every week are an excellent value. Though it may not be as large as the bigger theaters, the movie viewing experience is still very enjoyable, especially given the price. The employees are friendly and the popcorn is delicious

Garden Grove 5 Star Cinema

KA

Karen Taylor

We just moved to the area and we found this theater 'WONDERFUL' and it has a family environment in our neighborhood.The prices are good all doing the week and the popcorn is good and very affordable for us. The staff helpful. We love it there.Thanks,Resident of Buena ParkKaren

AL

Alina Ramirez

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Considering that it is a 4 screen theater with regular old school seating, it is nice. The floors arent sticky, the seats arent broken, the restrooms are clean and most importantly..very nice staff. Great place to take my family especially since we are on a very tight budget.

5 Star Cinema Garden Grove

Other organizations

[minminnie-shii]

may I request an imagine of verivery dates: where each member would take, how they would treat you, and a whole lot of fluff too

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long. I accidentally deleted it like twice and I kind of gave up for a while

buttt I’m back at it and ready to write this because these boys are my babies and their comeback has given me motivation

I hope you like itttttt

@multifandomhell23

~

Lee Dongheon

what a hard-working boy

he spends most of his days watching over his six children making sure they don’t accidentally kill themselves

especially Minchan and Yeonho

moving on

whenever he has a day off he doesn’t hesitate to run and spend it with you

shows up at your apartment with your favorite snacks and special treats

the two of you run around grabbing all the blankets and pillows that you own

you make a large fort in the middle of your living room

once its done you both crawl inside

dongyeon opens up his laptop and puts on a cheesy movie for the two of you to watch

in the middle of the movie he starts to poke at your sides slightly

you ignore him until his poking turns into tickling

you giggle slightly and start to roll away from him

he would follow after you and the two of you would get caught in the blankets pulling down that fort

dongyeon would stop once the two of you were completely wrapped up in all the blankets

he would smile down at you and pepper light kisses all over your face

rubbing his nose against your he would finally kiss your lips gently

‘I love you’

after cleaning up the mess you made you would both decided to go to bed early

snuggling up together, dongyeon would tuck you safely under his chin

whispering to each other until he falls asleep

you carefully crane your head upwards pressing a soft kiss on his chin

you fall asleep to the peaceful sound of his breathing filling your ears

Bae Hoyoung 

i may be in love with this squish

i wanna poke his dimple

move on

he loves doing outdoorsy things

going to the beach, amusement parks anything where the two of you can have fun at

he’s also the kind of person that will totally surprise you about going somewhere

he randomly shows up at you door

‘get dressed jagiya, we’re going out today’

you did as you were told and got dressed quickly

the two of you skipped through the streets happily

you couldn’t contain your excitement when you showed up at a festival

dragging him around you two would find many things to do

he would find a game that he really wanted to play

taking you over he would try many times to beat it so he could win you a cute plushie

after a few tries, he gave up with a pout

you smiled at him and played the game, winning on your try

you would hand him the llama plushie that you had one

‘wah, my jagiya is the best isn’t she?’

the two of you would walk around the festival until nightfall 

hoyoung would surprise you by handing you a lantern

‘shall we send one off with our wishes?’

‘you are my wish hoyoung’

he would cringe at how cheesy you were but tell you the same thing

after sending off your wish he would hug you tightly to him

‘you really are my wish jagiya, forever and always’

Hong Minchan

minchan prefers more intimate style dates

the ones where it if just the two of you together

whether it’s the two of you lying on the couch together

or when you’re reading him a new book that you bought recently

but

his favorite type of date

is when the two of you are in his studio and he’s playing the piano for you

you expressed multiple times that you love it when you hear the sound of a piano

so anytime the two of you are in the studio together he makes sure to play for you at least once

he would motion for you over to sit next to him on the piano bench

you would stand up from the couch and walk over, sitting down next to him

he placed his hands delicately on the keys before playing a soft melody

it’s a melody that you knew all too well

your favorite ballad that he ever wrote

after all

he wrote it about you

about how he first fell in love with you and how he knew that you were the person he wants to be with forever

every time he would play for you, it would make you feel sleepy

your head rested on his shoulder as you continued to sing quietly

he would smile and look down at you as your eyes fluttered closed

his heart would burst at the sight of you

once he finished playing he would carefully shift so you was laying against his chest 

running his fingers through your hair softly 

he would hum quietly until you were finally fully asleep

he would carry you back to the couch and cover you up

letting you sleep until he was finished with his work

that was his favorite time with you

Jo Gyehyeon

this boys only mission in life is to show off

especially to you

he loves it when you praise him for something

it doesn’t matter what it is

so where does he take you out on a date

a place to watch him perform his martial arts of course

you sit and gleefully watch as he does multiple flips and twists in the air

in an attempt to really show off to you he does a triple backflip

only for him to slip on his footing and fall on his butt

‘Ah, hyeonie are you okay?’ 

you run over to him to quickly check up on him 

he just lies there pouting with his arms across his chest

‘i can’t believe i did that’

you giggle and help him sit up

‘i can, you’re not exactly the most elegant one’

would pout even more because you made fun of him

he would whine and complain while rolling around on the floor

‘my jagiya made fun of me, my life cant go on anymore’

you would just watch amused as he continued to complain out loud

he wouldnt be paying attention to where he was rolling and would knock into your legs causing you to fall over 

would freak out because he accidentally hurt you

you would just laugh as he would run over to you 

‘jagiya, are you all right?’ 

you would grab his arm and pull him down so he was lying on top of you

holding him close you would stroke his hair and assure him that you were all right

‘youre the best, you know that right?’ 

would blush like crazy and hide his face in your neck

you would continue to compliment him until he couldn’t take it anymore

‘i’m only the best because you make me the best’

so much fluff and cheesiness between the two of you it’s unreal

Ju Yeonho

this little squish

we are all aware that taking selfies is his life

so what does he do on a date with you?

takes you all around seoul so the two of you can take pictures together

it always surprises you that he always managed to find new places to take you to

but, he loved taking you the han river

he could take pictures of you in the sunset

though he always says that every picture he takes of you is pretty

he especially loved it when you take pictures of him

you always gush about how adorable he looks would cause him to smile even more

‘wah, you look amazing in this angle dont move’

would make you stand still for ten minutes until you convince him that he had enough pictures

he even takes pictures of you eating

‘yeonho, if you take one more picture of me, im throwing your phone in the river’

‘but you look so pretty, can i take one more?’

after you two were finished you would sit in the grass and just watched the stars

you would lie on his chest and point out all the constellations that you see

‘wah my jagiya is so smart, everyone must be so jealous’

while talking, you would eventually fall asleep cuddled to his chest

the second he knew you were sleeping, would pull out his phone and take another picture of you

‘delete it’

‘awe but it’s my favorite!’

Kim Yongseung

so like

mr.competative over here

as soon as you make it to the dorm runs over to you holding to rubiks cubes

‘i bet you i can solve it faster than you’

‘bring it on’

you plop yourselves onto the couch and the boys all gather around you

‘ready? start!’ 

yongseung immediately starts working on it

his hands are flying as he expertly flips the sides

‘wow, noona’s really bad at this’

the boys would mutter about how much you suck causing you to be distracted

‘yah! how can i even try when you wont shut up?’ 

you stand up and throw the cube at minchan

‘it wasnt even me that said it!’

while youre all arguing yongseung stands up and slams the cube on the table

‘finished!’

you look at him in shock

‘that’s not fair, they distracted me!’ 

he just smiles and grabs your hand

‘oh well, time for my reward for winning’

drags you into his room and lays you on the bed

‘you did that on purpose, didn’t you?’

he would just laugh as he hovered over you

‘maybe a little’

kisses you all over your face and neck while holding you close to him

‘i’m sorry ive been so busy lately’ 

you lean your head up and press your lips to his in a way to tell him that its okay

‘never, will i blame you for missing a date because of this, youre doing what you love, and i love that it makes you happy’

you really are the greatest

a very long and well needed makeout session occurs after that

after all, he did win

Yoo Kangmin

uwu

this little bean is so precious and must be protected at all costs

his favorite things in life

are soccer and you

so he loves taking you to the field behind your house and playing soccer with you

most of the time while playing you little siblings come and join along

kangmin loves playing with your siblings

especially your younger siblings

being an only child made it hard for him to have fun most of the time

but now that he has you, he’ll gladly to everything he can to keep you close

even if it means having your little brother cling to his leg every time he walks through the door of your house

would take all of you out to the field to start a game

‘jagiya, come be on my team’

‘no i want her on my team!’

you wink at kangmin before running over to your sister

picking her up and resting her on your hip

‘come on together we can beat Kangmin!’

‘wah, are you really going against me?’ 

‘yep, we can totally beat you’

the game begins and you all laugh as you all run around the field

you little brother went to kick the ball he slipped and fell

he began to cry and rub his face softly 

kangmin would be by his side before you were

‘ah, did you get hurt? are you all right?’

your brother would attempt to wink at you causing you to smile

you would steal the ball from kangmin and kick it down the field

‘you betrayed me? i dont know how to feel!’ 

kangmin would chase after you and wrap his arms around your waist lifting you into the air

‘you tricked my jagiya, thats not fair’

you shrugged your shoulders and looked back at him

‘alls fair in love and war’

‘is it now? ill be sure to use that later’

[darazscsipes-saskarmolas]

Thanks for the tag @mandalorianmuffin 💕💗💞💖

RULES: answer the following questions! you can only use each movie once.

Oh boy....here we go😁

favorite movie: please don't make me choose

movie that makes you remember your childhood: Finding Nemo. actually, that was the first ever movie I saw in a cinema. I was 3 years old, and I think I was pretty scared.

favorite tom hanks movie: omg at first I was like idk...Forrest Gump maybe? BUT THEN I realised that he was in Cloud Atlas too. so yeah, Cloud Atlas. not really because of him tho.

movie that makes you cry: it’s easier to say which doesn't make me cry. if I have to choose one, it's gonna be V for Vendetta. it sounds so edgy, but it's true.

favorite 80’s movie: Back To The Future and Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home both go here

favorite sports movie: um is Space Jam considered a sports movie? I mean...they play lots of basketball in it (and well i liked Ford v Ferrari too)

favorite comedy: Logan Lucky and Oscar

favorite courtroom movie: lol i didn't know this was a genre, i had to google it. well...Chicago. if you squint (very very hard)

favorite animated movie: How To Train Your Dragon

favorite war movie: Wonder Woman counts as a war movie i will take no criticism  

favorite horror movie: I'm really bad with these categories apparently. do Alien movies count as horror? (i googled it; they do) Alien and Covenant then.

favorite gangster movie: Snatch (+ other Guy Ritchie works) and Reservoir Dogs. sorry?

most overrated movie: Fight Club (+ lots of others)

movie with the best soundtrack: oooo this is hard. I don't want to choose one so here's a list. The Man From U.N.C.L.E., LOTR, King Arthur: The Legend of The Sword, Birds of Prey, anything that Michael Giacchino touched, and of course the whole Dollars Trilogy.

movie you can watch over and over: uh. basically anything. I don't want to pick one because i literally have to watch every movie at least twice to remember everything from it. this post was made by the Shitty Memory Gang

most embarrassing movie you love: please don't make me be ashamed of my movies too. I'm already ashamed of enough things

favorite christmas movie: the basic Love Actually and Last Christmas. both are incredibly cheesy but they have Emma Thompson!!

favorite sequel: The Return of The Jedi and Shrek 2

This was so good!!!💜

I tag @lovme4me @nyulfarok @idhrengondis @interstellar-taco @unexciting-houseplant @kozepkori-boszorkany @3stike @laorunawaize @allenginsbergkinnie

[artificialqueens]

Emergency Contact (Branjie) - hy-jinkx, athena2

AN: A huge thank you to Writ for being an incredible beta for this, we hope you all enjoy it!

You can also read on AO3.

José is watching TV when he gets the call. It’s a number he doesn’t know, and he’s about to complain about hoes dialing the wrong number and just ignore it, when something drives him to answer. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s nearly Christmas, stores blasting the same songs over and over, list of presents to buy his family still untouched, and the holiday always brought phone calls from random relatives he’s never seen in his life. Or maybe it’s the same force that drove him to answer the odd number when he got picked for Drag Race, a number that’s taken him to a pink workroom twice and into the arms of a tall Canadian man for what was too short of a time as he lived it and now feels too long a time to have spent memorizing Brock’s breathing and the freckles dusting his back, for it all to come crashing down anyway.

He presses the phone to his ear, and a kind voice says she’s calling him because—and then it’s like the ocean roars in his ears, and he misses all the medical nonsense the woman is spouting, because all he hears is that Brock is in the hospital.

Brock is at the hospital, and they’re calling him.

He is Brock’s emergency contact.

José realizes with a start that he doesn’t know his own emergency contact, wouldn’t even know how to change it. But Brock, always so responsible, so organized, must have changed his when they were dating. The thought that Brock trusted him enough to be an emergency contact gives his heart that familiar flutter. It quickly dies, though, at the confusion. Why, when Brock always takes care of that shit, hasn’t he changed it back to Steve or his mom or whoever it was before they started dating? Why is José, Brock’s ex-boyfriend, answering a call that should be making someone else’s heart–a heart that could handle this, that hadn’t been broken just a year ago– pound?

Is it worse if he just forgot to change it, or left it intentionally? It doesn’t matter. Brock is alone in the hospital in LA, and it’s almost Christmas, and leaving him there isn’t an option, regardless of whatever status they’re in right now. He tells the woman he’ll be on his way, writing down the name of the hospital so his forgetful ass doesn’t blank on it in ten seconds.

Brock must be freaking out, José thinks, hating himself for knowing how Brock would react, for still feeling that familiarity toward him, for trying to understand Brock’s mind. Too bad he couldn’t understand his mind all those months ago.

He grabs his coat without so much as another thought. It occurs to him that he doesn’t even know what’s wrong with Brock, had zoned out for that part of the call. Was he sick, or hurt, or even worse? Was he in pain or asleep? What if it was really bad?

Fuck it. He’s out the door.

The hospital was one of Brock’s least favorite places. He felt out of his element in his hospital bed, completely out of his realm of control. His care was in someone else’s hands, and a stranger’s at that.

He wasn’t sure if he trusted a stranger with his life. The only people he did trust with his life were his family and - well, José. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he would likely always trust José that deeply, the younger man just having that effect on Brock.

Maybe that was why he never had the heart to remove José as his emergency contact.

Or maybe he had simply forgotten, his mind too preoccupied once the whirlwind of drag race airing had begun. He didn’t have time to worry about things like that, especially when he was so diligent about his health while being on the road almost constantly.

This was just a hiccup, an accident really. He didn’t see the point in calling José right now, but apparently the nurse disagreed with him.

“Might make you feel better seeing a familiar face,” the nurse had offered, flashing him a stern smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes before stepping out of the room. Damn his inability to say no to people.

The minutes felt like they passed by at a snail’s pace, Brock’s mind reeling. José was coming, but Brock had no way of really knowing how his ex would react. He knew José would be concerned on some level, and there would likely be some yelling involved, but whether that was at Brock or the hospital staff was yet to be determined.

Would José laugh at Brock’s injury, or would Jose dote on him like he had when Brock got sick while staying with him in LA?

Maybe if he was lucky, they would let him leave before José showed up, but he doubted that would be the case. Instead of allowing himself to think about his ex and the sense of dread he felt knowing José was likely on his way, Brock tried to keep himself busy by playing a game on his phone.

José tears through the doors like he’s on a mission, all his confusion and anger replaced with genuine worry, ready to grab the first person he sees and demand they take him to Brock.

“I’m here to see Brock Hayhoe,” he begins at the reception desk. “He one tall-ass hoe, you can’t miss him.”

“Name, please?”

“José Cancel. I’m his fri–” no, his abuela always said Christmas isn’t a time to lie, even if it’s just to himself,  “–I’m his emer–I’m his contact person.”

“Room 372.”

He’s off, past the snowmen and bulbs and snowflakes lining the walls, trying to bring cheer to a place that to him really isn’t a place for cheer. Hospitals and all their bad juju always gave him the creeps, and he’s secretly grateful when drag shows and touring give him an excuse not to visit a sick relative. He knows it’s terrible, but he just can’t take it. He can’t take the cold white rooms, all the people in pain and suffering in ways he didn’t understand, in ways no one could help. To have someone he loves in that position…his heart just can’t take it.

Brock is one of the only people he could possibly do this for. He even turned into a full-on nursemaid that one weekend Brock got sick in LA. He checked Brock’s temperature and gave him medicine and tea like people did in the movies and almost started a fire trying to make chicken soup, Brock protesting the fussing all the while. He sat on the couch with Brock’s head in his lap, stroking his sweat-damp hair and waiting until Brock’s breathing evened out and he finally got some rest, staying up most of the night to watch over him. It’s a part of him only Brock has seen, a part no one else has earned since.

There’s a paper snowman outside Brock’s door, and the fake, construction-paper smile only makes the place seem gloomier, because surely there’s people here who won’t see Christmas or a snowman ever again.

He takes a breath and turns into Brock’s room, the sight almost making him walk right back out. There is no way someone as big as a moose should look this damn small. Brock is about half his normal size—a size that completely covered José in bed on those nights he needs to forget—in the hospital bed, and it makes him seem fragile, like those fancy dishes people locked away in cabinets and never used. His Brock–though he needs to give up on that now–is not supposed to look like this. There is not supposed to be an IV in his arm or all those monitors that belong on a spaceship around him. If he thought Brock was pasty before, it’s nothing compared to the ghostly paleness now; a ghost that just can’t stop haunting José, whatever he does.

There’s a chair by the bed, but José is too rattled to sit.

“What the hell kinda mess did you get yourself into?” José demands, holding tight to the angry side of him to keep from breaking, to keep Brock from the spiral he knows he’ll sink into if he sees José scared or worried.

“You came,” Brock deflects. Is that happiness in his voice? Whatever it is, it breaks through José’s anger. If Brock is awake and talking (and maybe even happy to see him), then it can’t be that bad, right?

“Yeah, I came,” he says softly. “I wasn’t gonna leave your ass in the hospital alone. Especially so close to Christmas. I know you hate this shit.” Damn it, he wasn’t going to do this. He wasn’t going to get familiar, wasn’t going to let his heart soar when he saw Brock.

“I do.” Brock sighs helplessly, and José notices the rumbled sheets, Brock’s restlessness something he knows well.

“So, what did you do?” José asks. “Had to be some dumb shit, knowing you.” He decides to keep the joking tone, to avoid the part of him that aches seeing Brock so small and vulnerable, the part that wants to take Brock home where the scariness of the hospital can’t reach.

Brock’s cheeks turn slightly pink and he stares at the floor, a sure sign of his embarrassment. No matter how much José told himself he wouldn’t do this, Brock is still a book José’s read so many times his fingertips have discolored the pages, a movie he’s watched so many times he knows every line.

“Well…” Brock begins. “I was practicing dancing and tripped over Henry. I twisted my knee a little. It’s nothing bad, they just want me to spend the night to make sure the swelling goes down and that there’s no other damage.”

“You tripped over your cat?” José tries to hold back a laugh, but he’s so relieved it’s not serious, that Brock was just being his dumbass self, that he can’t help it.

Brock bites his lip the way he does when he’s trying not to smile. “Yeah, I know. Laugh it up.”

“You dumbass twinkle toes,” José snickers, taking the seat next to the bed. “I’m glad you okay, though. You need anything? I’ll go hollerin’ for the nurses, you know me.”

“I’m okay right now,” Brock says. “I’m a lot better now that you’re here.”

Oh shit. José’s stomach should not be tingling now. Brock shouldn’t even be saying this shit. Brock is looking at him with those green eyes soft and wide like a puppy, and José knows he’ll be here all night no matter how much it pains him.

Despite how nervous Brock had been about seeing José, he finds the other man’s presence to actually be pretty calming for him. He figured part of his nerves had probably come from being stuck in a hospital bed alone, having always felt unsettled whenever he had to go to the hospital for any reason. But with José around, Brock felt a sense of ease, and deep down he knew everything would be okay.

So what if he laughed a little more than he should at José’s jokes, or felt himself blushing as José called him out for injuring himself in such a stupid way? None of that really mattered with José around, as much as Brock hated to admit it.

There was a part of him that knew this was probably not a good idea, allowing himself to fall into the comfort of just being around José. They weren’t together anymore, but it was so damn easy to fall back into their old ways whenever they were around each other.

It was easy to forget they had ever broken up.

Now that José is sitting in the chair beside Brock’s bed, Brock feels the urge to reach out and grab his hand. Brock knows he’s not hurt badly, that he’ll probably be just fine in a few days, but there’s a part of him that still craves reassurance from the man sitting beside him. To Brock, it feels a form of validation, a way to silence the worries that threaten to send him spiraling down a rabbit hole of what if’s.

He resists the urge to grab José’s hand, instead folding his hands in his lap as he reminds himself that José is no longer his.

“You don’t have to stay, you know,” Brock mumbles after they sit in silence for a while, his eyes slowly flicking over to glance at his ex. Their eyes meet for a second, and Brock swears he can feel his heart skip a beat, despite what the monitor on the other side of his bed might say. He quickly averts his gaze, feeling his stomach sink as the reminder hits him once again that he should not still feel this way about José.

They had been broken up for months, they were practically strangers at that point. And yet, José somehow still felt like the most familiar person in the world to Brock.

Brock both loved and hated the duality of their situation.

“You’re hurt. I ain’t leaving you alone, B.” José’s voice sounds soft, almost as if he’s afraid that speaking too loudly will shatter the fragile bubble they’re living within in that moment.

It’s a side of José that Brock hasn’t seen since they broke up, and seeing it now makes Brock feel vulnerable. This is the José that Brock fell head over heels for, consequences be damned. Seeing this Jose now is almost too much, a bitter reminder to Brock of all the things he’s lost by losing José. No more stolen kisses backstage, no more late night calls from halfway across the globe, no more days spent holed up together in hotel rooms on the rare occasion they’re in the same city for more than a few hours. Maybe it’s because he’s in pain, but in that moment Brock wants nothing more than to have José crawl into the hospital bed with him and curl up against his side.

He’s happy to settle for holding José’s hand though, smiling softly at the younger man as José reaches out and gently intertwines their fingers. It’s not much, but it’s enough to ease Brock’s nerves and bring a soft heat to his cheeks.

Maybe, if he’s lucky, Jose won’t leave this time.

José can leave at any time. He knows this. He does not need to be here, in this hard chair making his ass, back, and neck ache at the same time, looking at boring white walls, and half-watching the channels Brock flicks through. He doesn’t need to hold Brock’s hand as long as he does either, but once he touches that smooth skin, he just can’t let go of it.

He can leave at any time. But he doesn’t. There’s some force keeping him planted in that chair, getting Sour Patch Children ( ‘ they’re kids,’ Brock insists) from the vending machine and passing some to Brock, roasting the doctors that walk by, all to keep a smile on Brock’s face as the afternoon-pink sky deepens to a dark plum.

“What you got planned for Christmas?” José asks.

“I think I’m actually gonna have time to go home,” Brock answers. “It’ll be nice to see the snow, you know?” he adds.

“Yeah.” José nods, though he’s used to a warm Christmas in Florida as a kid and here in LA now. Cold weather always made him wish for the sun-kissed beach, but Brock loved the cold and snow. Brock had been so excited when he took José to Toronto in the fall, chatting about how it would be snowing soon, and José let the finger-numbing-even-in-gloves cold fill him with hope that he would get to see a Toronto Christmas with Brock, even though he could feel the end coming by then.

“I think I might be able to stop home for a day too,” José says. “You know I like my warm weather.” He’s excited to go home, he really is, but something in him is missing the Christmas he never got to have with Brock, the snow-covered streets he never got to see.

“Yeah, you do,” Brock says, and José wonders if his voice is so heavy because he’s weighed down with the same ache for what never was.

José has already hit it off with the nurses and is allowed to stay the night, complimenting their sneakers and making them laugh telling them about the time Brock kissed one of the cats in his sleep, thinking it was José. He tries not to let the pain sink in, not to let the gaping hole in his heart devour him, because while he has this collection of stories, memories of just the two of them, that collection will never grow. There will never be more sleepy mornings in bed and movie nights and inside jokes. He can reach for the memories like cookies in a jar, but eventually he’ll scrape the bottom of the container, and all those treasures inside will have rotted.

He forces the thought away as he nestles in a blanket the nurses bring him, as he watches Brock fall asleep, the slow, steady breathing a noise that has carried José off to sleep several times. His own personal lullaby.

He doesn’t think he’s slept the same since he lost it.

There’s a lot of things that haven’t been the same since he lost Brock.

He watches some unfunny late-night show, and doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep himself until a gasp lurches him awake, Brock sitting up in bed panting like he’s run a marathon.

Even though it’s a little scary seeing Brock so frightened, José relaxes, because he can handle this. Calming Brock is something he’s done on countless nights when Brock couldn’t sleep, pacing the room and venting his worries in frantic breaths, when José just held his restless body tight and brought Brock back to himself. Nights when Brock had doubts about himself, questioning if he was good enough for José, doubts that turned into doubts about José, doubts that turned into doubts about them as a couple, doubts that no amount of soothing or kisses could quiet.

But José can quiet these ones, and he will.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, taking Brock’s sweaty hand

“Nothing, I just–I forgot where I was for a second,” Brock explains, slowly reigning in his breathing by himself, the way José used to help him do sometimes when the anxiety got too strong.

“Everything’s okay,” José soothes, “You’re here with me.”

You could be here with me forever, he thinks. You’d never have to be anywhere else, he doesn’t say.

“I’m here with you,” Brock echoes. “I’m really happy you’re here, J. Thank you for staying.“

Fuck. Jose’s heart skips a beat. He doesn’t know what kind of painkillers Brock is on, if he should blame it on that, or if being trapped in this room only feet apart for so many hours is bringing something out, but he doesn’t care.

Maybe this is why Brock never changed his emergency contact. Because when it comes down to it, who did you want there in an emergency?

The person you feel the safest with.

And all the dark parts of Brock he’s seen, all the insecurities and fears and times when he was being a dork instead of the Ice Queen, were because Brock felt safe with him.

And still does, no matter what they are now.

“Scooch over, toes.”

Before he can stop himself, he climbs into the bed and wedges himself between Brock and the railing.

“You’re sure?” Brock asks. An ask of hope, not doubt.

“I’m sure. But Imma regret this if you still snore like a moose.”

Brock goes off into that snorting laugh, the one José used to scheme ways to bring out, seeing Brock acting so free and wild his reward for whatever stupid things he had to do to earn it.

José turns on his side and nestles his head on Brock’s chest, into the comforting curve of his shoulder. Brock’s hand snakes around his back, lightly stroking José’s hip, fingers narrating the story that will never leave them. José knows he would go back and relive it all again if he could.

José cranes his neck up and presses his lips to Brock’s cheek, light stubble scratchy beneath him, the kiss bringing back memories he usually tries to avoid.

But tonight, he lets them play in his mind on repeat as they drift off.

When Brock wakes up in the morning, the first thing he notices is José curled up against his side, one leg carefully thrown over his un-injured leg. The other man is still sound asleep, snoring away softly. The sight warms Brock’s heart, making him wish he could reach his phone to take a picture, wanting to remember this moment, because who knows how long it would last once José wakes up.

As rays of sunlight begin to peak between the blinds, stretching across the floor and slowly illuminating the room, Brock wonders how he and José didn’t work out. The distance wasn’t ideal, especially when they were on different continents and couldn’t even get their schedules to line up for a five minute phone call, and it was rough trying to navigate a public relationship. But when José felt like home no matter where they were, why the hell couldn’t they make it work?

The noise outside Brock’s room steadily gets louder as the hospital staff rotate out, the graveyard shift heading home. He winces as he hears a nurse outside his room hollar something to a colleague down the hall, feeling José stir beside him. The younger man’s eyes slowly flutter open, one of his hands raising up to rub at them as he lets out a lazy yawn.

The sight is one Brock is all too familiar with. He’s seen it dozens of times before, and yet he doesn’t think he could ever tire of it. Soft, sleepy José was probably one of Brock’s favorite things to witness.

“Mornin’,” José mumbles quietly, his head tilting up to look at Brock. He feels an imaginary string tug at his heart, the emotional pain a welcome distraction from the aching in his knee.

“Morning,” Brock whispers back. He knows he doesn’t need to stay quiet, they aren’t risking waking anyone up, but the delicate nature of the moment - of their situation - almost feels like it requires him to whisper. As if being too loud would ruin everything, would burn whatever was left of the bridge connecting them.

A heavy silence falls between them as Brock frantically wracks his brain for a way to make José stay just a little bit longer. He knows that soon enough a nurse will come to check on him and make José move from his spot tucked into Brock’s side, and once there’s space between them again, Brock has no guarantee that José won’t just walk out of the hospital without so much as a glance back.

“I miss you,” he murmurs after a few more minutes of silence, earning himself a scrunched up look of confusion from José.

“I’m right here, what d’ya mean?” José’s voice is a little louder now, causing Brock to tense up a little. That’s a mistake though, because then José carefully untangles their legs and sits up. Fuck, he had to act quick.

“I miss being with you. I miss… I miss us,” Brock admits. There’s a moment where Brock is convinced that he’s overstepped, José not saying anything as his eyes dart to look down at the floor.

“I miss us too, B.” José lets out a soft sigh, his hands fidgeting in his lap the way they always do when he’s nervous. Brock hates being the cause of José’s nerves, hates it so much that he has to fight back the urge to place his hand on top of José’s out of fear of overstepping.  “But it didn’t work. We didn’t work.”

“We could try again though. Take it slow this time?” So what if he sounds a little too hopeful, a little too desperate? So what if less than 24 hours ago Brock was anxious as hell to see José? Things were different now. The only thing making him anxious now was the thought of losing José again, of letting him slip through his fingers a second time. “We’ll make it work.”

“Do you really think -”

“I do.” Under normal circumstances, Brock isn’t the type to crawl back to exes. But this is José, the only person who had ever felt like home to him, the person he would always safe around. Maybe that was why he never felt like he could fully move on from José.

Before either of them is able to say another word, a nurse knocks on the door twice before stepping into the room, plastering on a sickly sweet smile as she glances between the two men. She tells them that Brock is free to go and tells José he shouldn’t be in Brock’s bed, then leaves the room just as abruptly as she entered.

There’s another moment of silence before either of them speak again, only this time it’s José who breaks the silence.

“Tell you what,” he starts, finally looking over at Brock. “Christmas parade’s goin’ on downtown, why don’t we go then we can figure us out?”

Brock can’t help the smile that takes over his face, hope surging through him. “I’d like that,”  he agrees, nodding his head happily.

“Then get your ass up, I’m gonna get you some crutches or some shit so we can leave.”

The words bring a smile to Brock’s face, make him feel like he’s back on Cloud 9 for the first time in a while. The words don’t guarantee that things would be different this time around, don’t event promise that there would be a this time around , but they still leave Brock feeling oddly calm and hopeful, given the fact that he’s still in the hospital. Seeing the way that José smiles at him before stepping out of the room to track down a nurse seals the deal for him.

Now more than ever, Brock is grateful that he never removed José as his emergency contact.

[madisonrooney]

im not that involved in the tangled fandom but i have some Thoughts on the finale/series overall now that its done so i figured id share. im a little under the weather so sorry if these are kinda scattershot

(spoilers below)

for starters, ive been watching since the beginning and was hype since it was announced. i love tangled the movie, probably in one the higher tiers of my fav disney movies, not to mention it was the first tv show wed gotten based on disney movie since emperors new school 11 years prior.

at first i was skeptical about them giving rapunzel her long hair back. it was pretty clearly just a marketing ploy but it was done pretty well in the pilot which i really liked so i could get behind it.

i thought the first half or so of s1 was really good and really cute. it was just a sweet little slice of life in corona. 

i started to get disappointed in the show once queen for a day came around. varian is my fav character (more on him later) and i didnt really like his villain arc. it felt really out of nowhere. not an obvious villain, not a surprise twist villain, just a character that didn’t feel like should’ve been a villain at all. it just didn’t bode well with me. 

i also felt that the jump from slice of life show to high stakes, serialized show was far too abrupt. even tho i liked the second half of s2 and all of s3 better (more on that later as well), it still seemed to have an uneven balance of light and heavy plotlines. i dont wanna sound like one of those people who hates filler episodes. filler episodes are good, but need to be done in the right way at the right time, and i feel like this show didn’t do that very well.

speaking solely on the high stakes, i really feel like they were too high for a show of its kind. in a way, i felt it was somewhat disrespectful to the source material. the show isnt canon, and i feel like it made some big changes that effected the story and characters from the movie, which i think is taking a step too far if youre working on a tv show thats made by an entirely different crew than the film (even tho its the same cast). like, eugene’s dad being revealed and being given a backstory, gothel having a daughter, it just felt like too much for me. compare it to, say, the dragons series, which had very high stakes but also fit snugly between the first and second movies, and took great effort so that nothing they did effected the films’ stories. the showrunners on the dragons show were even consultants on the third movie, so they all flow together nicely.

but rapunzel and the great tree reeled me back in and i was much more invested from there forward, main reason being it gave me my favorite trope (that was kind of already there, but even moreso from this point on): a bubbly girl and an angsty girl who are somehow best friends, though they may be at odds sometimes, like during this arc. i became way more invested in cass as a character and rapunzel and cass as friends (or a ship, im fine with either).

my problems with the imbalance and too high stakes didnt go away with the remainder of s2 or with s3 but my investment in cass’ arc (AND THE REDEMPTION OF VARIAN WHICH I WAS HOPING FOR) was enough for me to put my issues with the show at least somewhat aside.

as far as more things i liked about the show:

VARIAN

he is my fav character and has become one of my new fav characters of all time. i have this thing i think ive mentioned before where if i like an actor and like a show he’s in i love the character twice as much as i otherwise would. so having one of my fav broadway actors whos in one of my fav broadway shows play him made him an instant fav. but i also just love how cute and quirky he is.

cass!

like i said, i love cass and grew to love her more through her newest arc. partially for the same reason as with varian with the VA thing. i dont know much about eden espinosa but ik shes played elphaba and i love that they employed so much broadway talent for this show (more on that later). since the show has started, ive gotten into rent, and she was broadways final maureen, so thats cool too. but beyond just that, i love her arc and personality and of COURSE her relationship with rapunzel, that being one of my fav aspects of the show. it fits right in with liv and maddie, riley and maya, trish and jessica, webby and lena, luz and amity (depending on how the rest of the owl house plays out lol) and im HERE FOR IT. also, despite the fact that i wasnt a huge fan of the high stakes, i give the crew a lot of credit for making a main character a villain for an entire season. thats a big step for disney to take that i dont think theyve come anywhere near before and i give them props for that.

the broadway and disney alum cast!

weve got james monroe iglehart, pat carroll, christian borle, gavin creel, laura benanti, jane krakowski, etc. and as a broadway nerd i love that, not to mention that some of these people had worked with alan menken before which is awesome

the fact that they brought back the ENTIRE movie cast PLUS alan menken is amazing. i dont think any other show based on a movie can quite attest to that

so, onto the finale itself

- i was worried varian may go bad again especially given his initial resistance to eugene suggested his dad might go bad but that didn’t happen so yay. i noticed other people mentioning musical call backs but the only one i noticed was let me make you proud and it made me so happy - ALSO VARIAN BEING THE ROYAL ALCHEMIST IM SO PROUD OF MY SON - this being disney, i figured cass getting redeemed was probably inevitable, but i’m still relieved it happened. now i dont have the bad taste left in my mouth jessica jones gave me. and i loved how her redemption went, seeing her so vulnerable and letting herself be that vulnerable in front of rapunzel CRYING INTO HER ARMS LIKE MY HEART. they really made her very broken, it reminded me a lot of maya hart. sometimes disney channels not willing to go that deep but im impressed they did. - i was kinda hoping it would be revealed that gothel wasn’t actually cass’ mom, i remember seeing some people hoping for that, cuz, again, i feel like thats a bit much to change from the movie canon, buuuut that didnt happen. oh well. - I WAS HOPING FOR I LOVE YOUS BETWEEN CASS AND RAPUNZEL AND WE GOT IT AND WE GOT A HUG AND IM ALIVE - lance adopting the kids was adorable - all the movie parallels were *chefs kiss*

everything wrapped up so nicely and im really happy with it as a finale!

that aside, again, i do still have some issues with the show. so im gonna take a moment to shamelessly plug big hero 6 the series bc imo that does the movie to show adaption FLAWLESSLY.

tl;dr: great finale, despite both loving and hating some things about this show, yall should watch big hero 6 the series, im love varian

[simstationdance]

10 Random Questions Rule: Answer 10 random Questions and tag 10 simmers! (im too lazy for this part so anyone who wants to do it can do it sdfdhsgfsh)

i was tagged by @hystericallytragicsimmer (thank u!) so HERE I GO

1. If you could travel one place in the world where would you travel? hmmm. this is a very difficult question bc i dont think about this very often. i guess canada, to visit one of my friends who lives there.

2. What do you do in your free time away from sims? hang out with friends, listen to music, make music (link to my music tag on my main blog, bc why not), i also draw sometimes but not very often these days, i used to draw a lot of comics.

3. What other games do you play besides the sims? uhh... spyro reignited (fave), terraria, dragon age, death road to canada (i have only gotten to canada once in that game and never again since), stardew valley, other stuff i cant think of. i also play a lot of tabletop rpgs because im a turbo nerd

4. How tall are you? i’m actually quite short, standing at an itty bitty 5′2 i can’t reach the highest cabinets in my kitchen and it makes me angry

5. One random interest of yours? i’m very deeply interested in psychology, but the idea of being, like, a therapist or a counselor in real life scares me because i wouldn’t be good at it. so instead i just write stories and deep-dive into the psychology of fictional people sdfghsdfh

6. Current favourite bands or artists? marina (formerly ‘and the diamonds’), tame impala, kate bush, new order, and lemon demon. ive also been listening to quite a few talking heads songs on loop lately

7. Something you’re looking forward to? my friend’s birthday partyyyyyy (it’s gonna be a virtual party because uhhh... you know...)

8. Current favorite films? these days i usually just watch really bad movies because they’re fun to make fun of, and this question made me realize, with shock, that i haven’t watched a GOOD movie in a really long time and as a result i dont have a solid answer.

so rather than list off my favorite films, i’ll just tell you not to watch every single air buddies spin off movie, least of all to watch them twice due to losing a bet. i have suffered enough.

9.  What food could you not live without? pizza, probably.

10. Favourite series (book or movie series)? when i was a kid i was a very big fan of the novel versions of the W.I.T.C.H. comic books and to be quite honest, i still am. it may have a little early 2000s jank but most of the things i’m nostalgic for do.