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andiwriteordie · 1 year

Note

prompts um . um ! may i suggest a little piece with one of the boys having bird/angel wings

wibble!!!! ok i was a little nervous for this one at first because i've never done any wing fics, but this was such a fun prompt! so thank you for indulging my two current loves: 1) fantasy-esque byler aus and 2) some good ole fashioned mike angst :)

—

take these broken wings

People always say that right before you die, your life will flash before your eyes—memories and images of the moments you lived, your worst failures and greatest successes, the highest highs and lowest lows, and every moment in between. Some people who have had brushes with death and lived to tell the tale claim that life flashes before your eyes in the same way that lightning strikes—there, one moment, and full of crackling energy which calls all of your attention, then gone the next.

Mike’s had a lot of close calls with near-death experiences. After all, it just comes with the territory of knowing about the Upside Down and all its monsters, what with their faces literally made out of teeth and their creepily evocation of actual, less terrifying animals. Death’s not exactly something new to him, which is sorta sad, as a seventeen year old.

But in the five years since this shit all started, he’s never, ever had a “lightning strike, life flash before his eyes” kinda moment.

At least not for himself.

It’s funny, in like the world’s least funny and most morbid kinda way. Is it possible to have someone else’s life flash before your eyes? Only if you know them well enough, Mike would venture to guess. Only if you’ve been part of so many key moments in their life, only if your life is so deeply intertwined with theirs, and only if they are the one brushing hands with death and preparing to meet their end.

Yeah. That would be Mike’s guess.

Except that it isn’t a guess anymore. It’s actually something that’s happening, right here, right now in front of him, playing out like the world’s worst movie written by a screenwriter with a personal vendetta against Mike Wheeler himself. Lightning strikes—figuratively and literally—and Will’s life flashes before Mike’s eyes, right as his best friend pushes him out of the way and puts his own body in between Mike and a rabid, snarling demodog.

We killed it, a voice in the back of Mike’s mind protests, and that voice isn’t wrong. Mike could have sworn that thing was already dead, that its snarls had been reduced to mere whimpers, that the threat had already been neutralized by a stroke of sheer luck and some unfortunate How To Fight In the Apocalypse 101 training they’ve picked up on over the last few years.

Clearly, the thing’s not dead though. Clearly, it’s alive, and in the slow motion moment when it lunges at Mike and Will pushes Mike out of the way and the demodog makes contact with Will’s back, Will Byers’ entire life as Mike Wheeler knows it flashes before his eyes.

Kindergarten and the swing set. Becoming best friends.

First grade and meeting Lucas. Their party of two becomes a party of three.

Second, third, fourth grade and running around on the playground together. Late nights spent talking back and forth about their favorite comic books. Dreaming of worlds together.

Fifth, sixth, seventh grade. Dustin joins their party. DnD is discovered by the four of them, and Will the Wise, as well as all their other characters, is born. Mike’s basement is the safest place in the world.

November 6, 1983. The nightmare begins.

Halloween 1984. It continues.

Summer 1985. It keeps on going and going and going.

Fall 1985. The Byers move away, far, far, far from Mike, and Mike doesn’t know what happens after that—in the in-between months, because he wasn’t part of Will’s life back then. He did that to himself.

Spring 1986. The worst fucking road trip ever and the start of the literal fucking apocalypse.

1986, 1987, 1988.

Every. Single. Moment.

And now.

Thunder rumbles above them, and with it echoes Will’s cry of pain as the demodog sinks its teeth into his back—into his wings, Mike thinks, vaguely, somewhere in the haze of his mind. He hasn’t heard Will scream like that in years. Not since the Mind Flayer incident, that night at the lab.

The scream’s enough to kick him back into action.

Well-thought out action?

…

Not exactly.

See, there are actually no logical thoughts running through Mike’s mind when he throws—quite literally throws—his entire body weight against the snarling demodog. The sheer impact does succeed in his intended, vague plan of getting the dog off Will, but it does, unfortunately, come with the unintended (and very obvious, now that Mike thinks of it) consequence of having said demodog on top of him now.

That’s a lot of teeth, Mike thinks. That thought is quickly followed by a barrage of curse words, Shit, fuck, shit, shit shit, holy fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK, as pure survival instincts kick in, and Mike tousles with the demodog. The thing’s growling at him, its entire face full of teeth and spit and blood—Will’s blood and honestly probably some of Mike’s too—snapping at him and trying its best to maul his arm, and holy fucking shit, there’s no lightning strike, but Mike’s going to die, Mike’s going to die, Mike is going to die—

A single gunshot rings out above the silence. Mike’s pretty sure his own heart stops.

Then, barely a split second later, a pained yelp follows the gunshot, and suddenly, sixty something pounds of pure monstrous muscle and evil collapses onto Mike, complete deadweight. Something warm and sticky presses against Mike’s old jacket, and he winces, doing his best to squirm away from the now dead demodog.

Once upon a time, he remembers Mrs. Blackburn from across the street used to complain about how difficult it was to get up when the family’s golden retriever used to make a bed out of her lap. Growing up, Mike had never really understood that, having never owned a dog in his life.

He gets it now.

“Jesus,” Mike breathes, right as he manages to pull himself out from under the dog. His heart somehow must’ve restarted, because now it’s beating faster than it ever has before, and adrenaline courses through his veins, making him feel jittery and out of breath. There’s blood on his clothes and on his arms, so God knows he’ll wake up feeling like hell tomorrow.

But he’s alive. He’s alive. That’s all that matters. Mike’s alive, and so is Will, and—

Suddenly, a pained groan interrupts Mike’s thoughts, and he whips his head around, eyes widening as he catches sight of his best friend.

Lightning strikes above the two of them. Will looks pale in the dim light, his eyes drooping and his legs swaying. He opens his mouth, like he’s going to say something, but he never quite gets to.

Will’s body hits the ground before either of them are able to say or do anything.

“Will!”

The strangled cry tears itself from Mike’s throat, and once again, his body moves on pure instinct as Mike throws himself down onto the pavement beside Will. Up close, it’s easier to see just how bad Will has been hurt—the ever darkening color of his fabric as the blood continues to flow, staining his shirt and the jacket he’s wearing over it, the open gashes and bite marks underneath torn pieces of fabric, the unsteady rise and fall of his best friend’s chest as Will tries desperately to stay conscious, and—

Bile rises, burning the back of Mike’s throat. His hands, which had been moving with a mind of their own, panicked and full of a desperation and need to help Will, save him, make sure he’s okay, oh God, he has to be okay, now freeze. His heart damn near comes to a stop, and it’s probably a miracle Mike’s still alive with how much his heart has been pounding, then suddenly stopping, then pounding again this evening.

And worst of all, his eyes… his eyes take in a sight Mike had never wanted to see—the familiar, white feathers of his best friend’s wings, now mauled and stained with red. With Will’s wings still folded under his shirt, kept close to himself, it’s difficult to see the full extent of the damage, but Mike knows it’s bad.

This is your fault, the harsh, critical voice in the back of Mike’s mind whispers. This is your fault.

Those words feel like a knife in the heart, and Mike falters, his hands still lingered on Will’s broken and mangled wings. Your fault, that voice taunts again. This is all your—

“M-Mike,” Will wheezes, and Mike can’t help but flinch, looking down to see Will straining to look at him. His face is still pale; his eyes are still barely open. But worst of all, there’s a fear in his eyes—one that Mike has only seen a few other times.

It’s that fear that kicks Mike back into action. His trembling hands, now covered in blood that’s probably Will’s but also Mike’s but also the demodog’s, reach for Will, and Mike squeezes his best friend’s hand as tightly as he can.

“You’re going to be okay,” Mike reassures, even though he has no business saying that. “Just stay with me, Will, okay? Just stay with me; please don’t leave me, okay? Okay, just hold on, just hold on—”

Those words continue to tumble out of Mike’s mouth, mixed in with desperate, snotty sobs, even after Will’s eyes flutter close. He’s still breathing in small shallow gasps, and his hand is slack in Mike’s own, and he’s hurt, Will’s hurt, it’s your fault, your fault, YOUR FAULT—

Please don’t go, Mike thinks. The thought feels far away, lost somewhere in the loud cacophony of anxious thoughts. Please, please, please don’t go; stay with me, please, Will; please don’t go; please.

And then:

I love you.

Truthfully, Mike doesn’t really know what happens after that. He doesn’t know how much time passes or how the others manage to find them or how his body becomes unfrozen from its place, keeping watch over Will. Everything else becomes a blur of rainwater and blood—so much blood—staining the ground and Mike’s hands and Will’s clothes and Will’s wings that awful scarlet red.

This is your fault, that voice whispers to him, the entire ride back to their makeshift home. This is all your fault.

It takes a scary amount of time for Will to wake up.

Time’s a really fucking strange thing, you know? Mike still remembers being six or seven years old and how the weeks between the first day of school and picture day in the first week of October always felt so long. That month stretched on for forever and ever to his little six year old brain, but slowly, as he got older, the month seemed to become a little bit shorter. Then, even shorter the next year and shorter again the next. Growing up, it was as if the older he’d get, the faster time would fly right past him.

But apparently, time has decided it wants to do a complete one-eighty on Mike while he’s down for the count. Apparently, time no longer wants to fly; no, it wants to move at a fucking snail’s speed, dragging on until every second that passes by feels like a minute and each minute feels like an hour and each hour feels like a day.

Time’s really fucking strange.

And so, by the time Will wakes up, Mike honestly doesn’t know how long it’s been since the two of them were attacked. He knows a few things though—some that are helpful and some that aren’t.

Mike knows he hasn’t slept since then, choosing instead to sit by Will’s bedside and watch over him, as if that might do any good.

He knows practically everyone in their little group of Upside Down survivors has tried to convince him to leave, and he knows that, in response, he’d turned into a creature about as vicious as the one who did this to Will.

He knows that the fucking demodog that had attacked Will deserved a far crueler ending than a well-aimed bullet in the heart. He knows that it’s maybe a little sick and twisted for thinking that, and he knows he doesn’t really care right now.

He knows that Will’s wings are broken and torn, feathers brutally ripped off, bones broken underneath, damage near irreparable. He knows that Joyce cried when she saw her son, and he knows that she then picked herself back up and did everything she, with Hopper and Jonathan’s help, did everything she possibly could to mend Will’s broken wings and ease his pain.

And Mike knows that all of this is his fault.

So, when Will wakes up, eyes fluttering open and searching the dimly lit room, relief and guilt go to war inside Mike’s heart and mind. Relief wins out the initial battle, because Will is finally awake, and Mike doesn’t even care that Joyce and Hopper are in the room and can see him cry. But it’s guilt that ultimately wins the war, taking its place as the victor when Will sits up and immediately cries out, instinctively curling his wings around himself and only making things worse.

Bile rises in the back of Mike’s throat, and he feels frozen—just as frozen as he did in that moment when Will had stared up at him, terrified and bleeding out on the pavement. Joyce and Hopper are quick to jump to action, and Joyce’s soothing words fill the quietness in the room, “It’s okay, baby; you’re okay. Just relax, okay? Just breathe for me; that’s good; you’re doing so good, baby.”

Mike can barely hear the words over the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears.

Get out, something in the back of his mind pleads. Get out, get out, get out—

He would get out, if he could. But instead, Mike’s stuck here. Completely frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch in horror and try not to throw up as Joyce and Hopper slowly unwrap the bandages around Will’s wings.

Red is the first color Mike sees as the bandages come off. Blood, sticky and dark red, has stained the bandages, and Mike’s eyes wander from that gauze to the wounded appendages. Massive gashes, still a bright, painful shade of maroon, marr Will’s normally white wings, and there are chunks of feathers missing from where the demodog had attacked him. More than that, with Will now awake and able to stretch his wings out more, it’s easier to see the awkward, painful angles his wings are twisted at.

Every single moment and every single touch seems to hurt Will, even if he doesn’t say it.

And all Mike can do is watch. He’s breathing. He has to be. But at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it. His chest is burning; his lungs don’t feel like they’re getting any oxygen. Will’s bandages are discarded to the side—red, red, red replacing white, blooming, spreading, overtaking, and—

“Mike, sweetie?”

Mike flinches sharply, and finally, his body feels unfrozen. He’s able to look somewhere other than the blood-stained bandages and the bloody gashes on Will’s wings, and instead, he turns his attention to Joyce, who’d just called his name.

“S-sorry.” Mike swallows the lump in his throat and tries to remember how to breathe. “Did you, um… did you say something?”

A sad smile forms on Joyce’s face. “I didn’t,” she reassures gently. “But I, ah… I think maybe it would be best if you stepped outside for a bit. Maybe… go get some rest now that Will’s awake.”

Mike’s gut reaction is to protest, but the words die in the back of his throat as Joyce’s gaze flickers to Will’s face. Mike follows her line of sight, and—

Oh.

Red colors Will’s cheeks too, and he’s hiding his face from Mike, like he’s ashamed to be seen crying. It’s hard to see, but Mike can feel the heartbreak and the pain his best friend is experiencing right now. All he wants to do is make it better—to help Will, to somehow make this up to him, to let Will know that he’s here and that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Protest rises again, clawing its way up Mike’s throat, but he manages to bite his tongue and stop himself from yelling, It’s okay; please, it’s okay; you don’t have to hide, not from me. Please don’t hide. It’s okay; I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, and you’re my best friend, and I love you—

Warmth rushes to Mike’s face, and for just a moment, he feels frozen again. There it is again—that thought that keeps sneaking up on him, more and more with each passing day. It’s the confession that Mike’s too much of a coward to say out loud, but he’s no idiot. There’s no denying the implications of those three words.

Not when he couldn’t even write the damn words in a letter to his own girlfriend.

Not when the words sneak up on him, in the most mundane and the most insane moments of his life, like they’re something as natural as breathing.

Not when it’s Will.

I love you, Mike lets himself think again.

Unfreeze.

Mike takes a step forward, ignoring the way his heart pounds inside his chest and the skeptical looks both Hopper and Joyce give him. Instead, he just sits down as carefully as possible as he can onto the bed, and he reaches for Will’s hands, pulling them away from his face so the two of them are looking at one another again.

This is your fault, that voice in the back of Mike’s mind whispers as Will tentatively looks at him, eyes full of grief and shame and embarrassment. It’s all your fault.

Maybe, Mike thinks. But Will needs me.

So, without giving it another thought, Mike scoots close, and he wraps his arms around his best friend, being careful to not exacerbate Will’s injuries. Like two puzzle pieces slotting into place, Will falls easily into his arms, and Mike hugs him close, running his hand up and down Will’s bare arm.

“You’re okay,” Mike whispers. It’s a reassurance and a reminder wrapped up all in two simple words and meant for both of them. “You’re going to be okay. We’ll get through this. I promise. I promise.”

Maybe that’s not a promise he should be making, but it’s one that Mike is going to try and do everything to keep.

Eventually, Will begins to get better.

His wings will never be the same again. That much is clear. Wings are already sensitive appendages—something that both Will and El can attest to—but it doesn’t help that they’re in the middle of the apocalypse with limited medical supplies. Hopper and Joyce do their best, and Will does slowly begin to heal from his injuries.

But his wings will never be the same again.

He doesn’t like talking about it, and that’s fine. Mike doesn’t like thinking about it, much less talking about it, so instead, he pours all of his energy into making sure Will knows he isn’t alone and also into keeping Will’s mind off the current reality of their situation. It’s no easy task, but if there’s one thing Mike’s gotten good at over the last twelve years of their friendship, it’s making Will Byers smile.

It’s… strange, actually. These past couple of months have objectively been some of the worst months of Will’s life—and Mike’s too, if he’s being completely honest. Will has spent these months recovering from a severely traumatic ordeal, both physically and emotionally. They’re living in the middle of the apocalypse, and One could literally return any day now to try and… destroy everything or whatever the fuck he wants to do.

And yet somehow, even in spite of how shitty things have been, the two of them have been able to find a little bit of light in the middle of the darkness.

It’s different, and it’s maybe too soon to say this, but also not soon enough. They’ve been walking down this path for years now, and only in these past couple months has that walk turned into a sprint towards… something – something remarkable and exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Something Mike doesn’t dare name yet, but that he wants to name, every single time those three words, I love you, come to mind.

It’s an ordinary day when he finally finds the courage to.

“Okay, so I was thinking,” Mike announces as the door to Will’s room flings open, and he walks in, the way he’s done dozens of times, “we should—”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. Before he can, Will turns around quickly, arms wrapped around himself, and he yelps, “Mike! Jesus, knock next time!”

His face is bright red, his eyes are wide, and his expression is caught somewhere between embarrassed and actually mortified. Part of Mike wants to point out the fact that he’s done this multiple times and Will’s never seemed to care, but the words die in the back of his throat as he takes in the sight of his best friend.

For starters, Will is shirtless, and that – that’s totally fine. That’s fine. Mike doesn’t feel like his face is on fire or anything. Pfft, no. He’s seen Will shirtless hundreds of times, so this situation? Right here? Totally normal. Completely.

…

Anyways.

Beyond that, Will is… clearly trying to hide his wings. Despite the fact that Mike knows it hurts him to not stretch his wings out, he’s folded them down, so that Mike can just barely see the tips of his wings not hidden behind Will’s back. His eyes dart back and forth around the room anxiously, and a pang of hurt and guilt forms in Mike’s heart.

“Will,” Mike whispers, and he takes a step towards his best friend, unable to help himself. “Hey, it – it’s just me. It’s okay.”

Those words, apparently, aren’t the right ones to say, because Will’s face falls. He looks away quickly, wraps his arms around himself, and mutters, “It’s not okay. Just… please… can you go?”

His voice breaks on those last few words, and though he doesn’t say it aloud, Mike hears Will regardless. There’s no one in the world he knows better than Will, just like there’s no one in the world who knows Mike better than Will does. The two of them get each other.

“If you really want me to go, I will,” Mike says quietly and takes another step, holding out his hand for Will to take. “But if not…”

He lets his voice trail off, waiting for Will’s reaction. It takes a few moments, but then finally, Will looks up, eyes watery and heartbroken. He doesn’t say anything; instead, he just slowly unfolds his wings and takes a step backwards, sitting down onto his bed and keeping his arms wrapped around himself.

The invitation goes unspoken but not unsaid, so Mike takes another few steps forward, sitting down beside his best friend. Not a moment later, Will rests his head on Mike’s shoulder, and Mike responds by wrapping his arms around his best friend and holding him close. Neither one of them says a word, but Mike can feel the way the tension dissolves from the room, the way Will’s walls begin to crumble, the way both of them walk hand in hand back towards who they used to be.

There was a point in their lives when things were too confusing. Too messy and too big to figure out. There was a time when this didn’t feel right, even though all Mike wanted to do was keep Will as close to him as possible. He didn’t understand it back then, but he gets it now.

It’s pretty simple, actually. Mike is in love with Will, and he has been for a long, long time. Maybe since before he even met El, but definitely during the extent of their relationship. And while the feelings for El were there, they were never as strong as the ones he felt for Will.

…

The ones he still feels for Will.

So, it’s easy. It’s the most natural thing in the world for Mike to hold his best friend close, to let the rest of the world fall away, to think back to the very same thoughts that had flooded his mind on the rainy night all of this first began. Please don’t leave me, and You’ve gotta be okay; you’re gonna be okay, and even I love you, I love you, I love you. Please don’t go.

Eventually, the tears stop falling, and the room grows quiet once more. The two of them sit there, arms still wrapped around each other, with Will’s head resting against Mike’s chest lightly. He’s shifted a little bit now, wings wrapped around the two of them as best as he can, and it reminds Mike of when they were little, back when Will’s wings were the secret Mike was lucky enough to know and back when the world seemed just a little bit smaller and less overwhelming.

As carefully as he can, Mike adjusts ever so slightly, and he lifts one of his hands, running it across one of the long, jagged scars on Will’s wings. He feels his best friend shiver under the touch, and hesitantly, both of them turn their gazes towards one another.

There’s hesitancy written all over Will’s face, and his gaze flickers to Mike’s hand for just a brief moment, before returning back to Mike’s eyes once more. He looks like he wants to say a million different things, but finally, he settles on quietly saying, “They’ll never be the same again.”

He doesn’t say it aloud, but the words don’t go unsaid.

I’ll never be the same again.

And there – there is the root of all of this, the grief that Mike knows Will has been feeling this whole time. Hell, it’s the same old grief and confusion and pain that’s been around since Will was first rescued from the Upside Down. It’s the same grief that appeared again the year after, and it’s the same grief that keeps on coming back, manifesting itself in new ways, and always posing the same question.

Will I ever be the same person again?

Will any of us?

“Maybe not,” Mike says quietly. The words don’t feel nearly big enough to even begin to say what he truly means and how he truly feels. All he can do is hope that Will understands what he’s trying to say—that the words he can manage right now are enough until he musters up enough courage to truly tell Will everything Mike needs to say to him. “But they’re still beautiful.”

You’re still beautiful, he thinks but doesn’t say. Instead, Mike just runs his hand delicately down the broken, scarred wing, never once taking his eyes off Will. And I love you.

Will takes a shuddered breath, and despite the watery look still in his eyes, he manages to smile. “You really mean that?”

“Yeah,” Mike whispers back, and he scoots closer, one arm still wrapped around Will and the other still gently stroking the patches of white feathers on Will’s wings. In return, Will wraps his wings around the two of them even tighter, and the smile on his face grows. He seems more relaxed. More at home. “I really do.”

The words still aren’t everything that Mike wants to say, but Will gets it. He always does. And one day, hopefully soon, the two of them will be able to talk about this, and Mike will be able to speak the words that have been echoing through his mind and that he’s kept close to his heart ever since the moment he came to this realization.

Someday.

#byler #byler ficlet #andi writes not dies #andi's asks #ok sorry the ending was rushed #truthfully i probably could've written like 2k more words #but i was like oh this is getting Long #wing ficlet!#woohooo!!!

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footprintsinthesxnd · 8 months

Text

Misc Tag Game

thank you for the tag @ronald-speirs , @yeahcurrahhe-e @grumpy-liebgott @blueberry-ovaries @hesbuckcompton-baby @1waveshortofashipwreck @l13bg0tt @executethyself35 and @theflyingfin

Favorite place in the world you've visited?

I loved visiting Belgium with my dad last October. It was a really special trip we shared together seeing where Easy Company were during the Battle of the Bulge and we shared some really special memories together.

Something you're proud of yourself for?

Getting through everyday. Since Christmas it’s been pretty tough between work and final exams and it’s been super stressful. Luckily I have some really supportive friends. Honestly I’m just glad I got through the last month and that I’m getting through February.

Favourite books?

- Parachute Infantry- David Webster

- The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

- The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

Something that makes your heart happy when you think about it?

My dog Finan. He’s the light of my life, no matter how bad something is he’s always there and he’s always such a happy little boy.

Favourite thing about your culture?

This was a tough one but I do love how much history Britain has. There are so many historical places from all different time periods and there are also lots of events held to celebrate/commemorate historical events.

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

So I first watched Band of Brothers in about 2014/2015 roughly. I then watched the Pacific about two years after that. Then Gen Kill last year. I didn’t join the hbowar fandom on tumblr until last year though.

Have you read any of Easy Company's books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I’ve read so many of them 😂 my favourite is David Websters Parachute Infantry. I know I’ve spoken about it before but he has such a way with words and describing the scenes, as well as his fellow paratroopers.

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

It’s gotta be my baby boy Gene Roe. I love him so much. One of my favourite scenes with him is in Bastogne when he talks to Renée outside the aid station.

My other favourite scene is when he does the whole ‘you’re officers, you’re grownups, you outta know’. That’s probably one of my favourite scenes.

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I write fics and I make moodboards/ edits.

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

I don’t really have one specific favourite actor or actress to be honest, there are lots I like and lots of movie I like.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

It’s not really a quote but it’s a saying my dad and I say to each other when things get tough

‘It could be worse, you could be in Bastogne’

Random fact your mutuals/followers don't know about you?

If you're a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader)?

I do not have a beta reader. I sometimes ask friends to read my work but if anyone wants the job it’s open.

Three things that make you smile?

1) my dog Finan

2) long summer days

3) my besties @malarkgirlypop @georgieluz and @mads-weasley

Any nicknames you like?

I don’t really have many nicknames but @georgieluz calls me Jessie which I love.

List some people you love to see around on tumblr:

@georgieluz @malarkgirlypop @mads-weasley @ronsparky @samwinchesterslostshoe @liptonsbabe @liptonwashere @supervalcsi @iceman-kazansky @next-autopsy @holdingforgeneralhugs @softguarnere @grumpy-liebgott @hesbuckcompton-baby @heystovepipeboys @blurredcolour @blueberry-ovaries and there are so many others

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

I’d like to think I wouldn’t die instantly. I feel that I have pretty decent survival skills and medical skills so I’d last a while I hope 😂

Favourite Movie?

I don’t have one favourite movie really, there are a lot of films that I enjoy. I like war films, historical films, romcoms, comedies etc so I can’t pick just one 😂

Do you like horror movies?

I’m not a fan to be honest. The only scary film I’ve seen and liked is ‘Woman in Black’ and still I spent a lot of time hiding behind a pillow the first time I watched it.

Tags: if feel like most people have already done this so I’m tagging anyone else who wants to participate

#miscellaneous tag game

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revoleotion · 8 months

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That reminds me of the time I joined an Evillious Chronicles discord server, and like a month or 2 after I joined they edited the post I used to join to say something like "proshitter don't you dare touch this post"

It's always annoying when that happens

what really really annoys me is that it's ALWAYS this fucking

"I can't believe it needed to be said"

bullshit

Or they pull this "oh my god i can't believe proshitters thought this was a safe space for THEM-"

And, my favorite, the argument of "It's illegal" (it's not) to feel morally superior

Instead of just saying "it's MY server, I don't want to moderate/host this stuff, talk about it somewhere else, and if that's a problem, here's the exit button"

NO. They always need to be in the right and they ALWAYS need to dehumanize anyone they think is doing something "wrong"

At this point my preferences in fiction don't even matter. I'm sure I could fit in more or less effortlessly into anti circles when it comes to sharing interests. I'm pretty sure that until I started being more vocal about this thing, many even assumed I was one of them

But nowadays I'm just... oh. Another rule announcement on a blog/discord that starts with: "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS NEEDED TO BE SAID BUT IF YOU SEXUALIZE FICTIONAL MINORS YOU DESERVE TO DIE!! NO ILLEGAL SHIPS!!! I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, THOSE SHIPPERS PRETEND TO BE NICE BUT THEN THEY TURN OUT TO BE HORRIBLE MONSTERS AND FREAKS-"?

Guess i'm leaving. Didn't even plan to write all that stuff. But. If this is how you treat fellow human beings? I don't want to be seen with you, actually

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queen-of-midnights · 2 years

Text

Dreamer of Light

Masterlist

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"Alone again"

My dreams have always been something else entirely, as some may say, that you cannot dream of someone you haven't met before, and yet, those exact beings haunt my more quiet nights. One night I see violet eyes, ones that look mischievous yet are full of warmth, who is one of my favorites, as he is always present with my sister. Whom I miss terribly, so I try to get every scrap of her whenever I can, trying not to let her abrupt absence hurt me, yet I still remain unsuccessful. Sometimes while I look at them being happy, hearing her laughter and sometimes even the song she used to sing to me when we were children. I can still see her, in the old cottage, on the floor with me, singing loudly until Nesta barged in only to tell us to be more quiet.

I sigh as I get up to look outside, hugging myself in an attempt to find some comfort. The sun shines even more brightly than yesterday, the rich tones of the sun reminding me of two pairs of amber eyes that come, that give a sort of brotherly comfort, somehow. They seemed warm. Then there was a pair of silver. Those I can not say if they were dreams or nightmares as I find myself getting chills any time I would stare directly at them. They felt, she felt , like death incarnate. Yet felt terribly familiar.

I shook my head as I heard a soft knock on my door. "Come in." I said before turning around only to find Nesta entering, closing the door with a click.

"Good morning, Nes." I smiled brightly as I greeted her, she gave a nod back before I continued "May I help you?"

She simply nodded as she made her way to my bed, taking a seat and motioning for me to join her.

"How have you slept? Any nightmares?" She still had her usual stony face but I believe I saw a mirage of worry behind them. I shifted as I sighed.

"Not today, but I sometimes feel it, feel them, as if they truly existed. As if they were indeed..alive." Only the thought gives me shivers, the metallic smell of red coming out of nowhere.

"You know that it is impossible." I nodded as I tried to keep my breaths even, I need not worry anyone today. "You have to stay strong, it'll pass." She put one of her hands on my shoulder in a comforting manner, still keeping a mask of iron close to her, I still attempt to see through the cracks after all these years.

"I know, but that red-headed woman is simply..terrifying does not even compare. She feels worse than decay, worse than falling, not bad, but pure evil." Nesta hummed as she moved away to prepare me a cup of tea, which she handed me only seconds later. "Thank you."

"Look-" Her visage slightly frowned, I am wondering what she wishes to say, but the words die in her throat as I hear Elain's loud scream outside."Feyre!"

My whole body locked in its place, the joints so tight that they started to hurt as I tried to process her words as her name echoed in my head: Feyre, Feyre, Feyre.

Nesta takes me by the hand and gently guides me to the hall, to assess the situation. But with every step, my breaths become heavier and heavier. And as we approach, I am finally met with the figure of my older sister, as I feel stiff once again, so shocked that I barely registered Nesta's quiet gasp. I tried to take a step, but my breaths felt short and my heart beat so wildly that my vision became spotty and I fell into complete darkness.

My head hurts terribly as I start hearing some muffled voices, which start becoming more and more clear by each second, as not only my hearing, but my memory also becomes better. And then I hear her voice, the one that I have waited to hear for months. "How am I in the wrong here?" She sounded annoyed yet saddened.

"Because, we both suspected the fact that you lied, Feyre. Which wouldn't be so bad, but she felt it. She fell sick for a month when you left, suffered enormously, and dreams of a certain golden beast with green eyes, rings any bells?" I heard a gasp before an impact on the ground. The sudden noise was enough to jolt me awake, gasping for air. Both Nesta and Feyre got up from the table as soon as they saw me awake. Was I dreaming that part of the conversation? I think not. That means-

"Feyre…you lied?"I turn to look at her, I have always had quite the skill of telling if others lie. It just gives me a certain feeling, one I can not point out. She opened her eyes wide, most probably not expecting me to be so straight forward, but this may be my only chance to find out the truth. I had to take it. She only averted her eyes and muttered the smallest "yes" I've ever heard. After a moment of reflection she finally met our gaze, more confident than the last as she said " We need to talk."

And then, Elain burst in the room, looking terrified as she joined me by my bedside. Breathing a 'thank goodness' before starting to dote on me as Feyre got up to close the door to my room. "Let's talk."

To be frank, I was not expecting this, not at all. A Fae Prince that took her away, same one that has been haunting me in my sleep, leaving me with full nighters as I couldn't escape those green eyes that were different than she described them, not full of kindness and love, but pure, wild and uncontrollable rage. That our riches came from him, and her coming back was also a courtesy of his.

"There is no way that we are living off of a wretched beasts-" Nesta protested, her face reddened by all the anger she tried to contain while Feyre told us her story, trembling with rage, however, our sister bit back as she replied defensively "Do not talk about him that way Nesta, you don't even know him." She sounded so sure that I was afraid to even mention the fact that her newfound lover has been torturing me for the last months.

"And you are starting to sound even worse than those children of the blessed. And how about Sienna's nightmares then? She had them even before we had our suspicions. Or are you too blinded by that monster's-" And then, Feyre exploded.

"Who cares about some dreams?! He is out there risking his life while I am here. I shouldn't be here. I should be there. Damn it." She then burst out crying, sobbing uncontrollably as Elain jumped to hug her back, sobbing and crying with her. Somehow their sadness feels worse than a heartbreak as I then take both of them in my arms as I played with their hair until they calmed down. Another occurrence that usually happened when we had bigger arguments, and I can finally see the whole image, of us little and on our small bed, huddled together as the girls cried in my arms all the same, when Nesta finally laid her head on my shoulder, the only time she had allowed herself to feel some emotion, when the others were occupied with their own heavy hearts. I always helped them through hard times. I loved that I could do that, at least.

As everyone calmed down and went about their own business I saw Feyre go off with Elain , and Nesta went to, probably, let off some steam. So I decided to also consult my own itinerary for today.

I haven't felt the rest of the day go by as I tried to keep myself occupied, to try to keep my emotions at bay. But still, every time that day that I saw bright red or green the same shiver went down my spine. By that time, I was certain. I had to warn Feyre about him. Or she will suffer because of him, and that fae female. They are always a dark cloud or an obstacle that turns my dreams of her into a nightmare.

At dinner time, I went to check on our staff when I only found Nesta fast asleep next to a bottle of wine. I tried to wake her up as gently as possible. "Nes, please wake up. You know I can't carry you to your room." She just groaned and stood up, before placing an arm around my shoulder for support, as I took it to stabilize her. "I dismissed the staff. Too many fae discussions for listening ears." I hummed as we reached the stairs, with her holding onto me fully. "I'll whip something up for our sisters, then."

She said nothing as we reached the top, however, when we reached her door, she turned around and said, quietly "She doesn't belong here anymore. You need to accept it or you'll end up heartbroken again." She now had much bigger cracks in her perfected façade that made it more visible that she was tired, so incredibly tired.

"I wish I could guarantee it, sister. Goodnight. " I turned on my heels before making my way through the kitchen, preparing something simple yet tasty, I believe. One could never go wrong with pasta, after all. Twenty minutes later, I heard the girls coming in, giggling, which brought a small smile on my face. As I took each of our own portions to the dining room.

"You were talking about that female, who you have heard atrocities about?" Elain asked while digging into her plate, she has been encouraging my cooking from day one, sweet Elain.

"Yes. Amarantha. "That name… the red-head. She is real she is real she is-

"Sienna?" Feyre raised an eyebrow while looking worried at me, same as Elain, their attention now fully focused on me, it was now or never.

"I've dreamt of her, Feyre. Of her and…Tamlin. " At that her whole face paled, as she started getting agitated, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

"Tell me everything Sienna, please." In a couple of seconds she crumbled completely yet again, but looked determined. To what? I have no idea. But still, I agreed and told her every single one of my nightmares, but when I asked about the violet eyed man she simply shrugged her shoulders, concealing her opinion on him. By the time I told her of every way they tormented me in my sleep, I finished with a warning. "If you ever hear the name Amarantha again, or of a blood red-haired woman, please, do not go near her or them, for that matter."

However, her reply left me speechless as my blood boiled. "That is exactly what I will do, when I find out more about what happened." I can never say that I felt angry, until now, but maybe angry wasn't the right word. I felt frustrated and worried for her, so I replied. "And do what, exactly? You'll be a human, weak and fragile, breakable, on a freaking continent of fairies, ones who wish us harm, no doubt."

"But I have to do something! At least I will know that I gave it my all." She looked determined, but I couldn't let her do this to herself.

"It'll kill you, Feyre." That she dismissed, shaking her head while continuing on with her determination.

"I'll get through somehow, all I had to say was that I love him, but I wasn't able to. I owe it to him to at least try." That made me look at her for a good minute. Owe him? No one who says that they are in love should ever owe each other anything other than respect, love and care. Ever.

"You do not owe him anything, do you even know his true intentions?"

"Of course I do. He loves me, that's why he let me go." Her reply was always the same, but somehow, the one note of her voice when she says this, makes me think that she's mainly trying to convince herself, not me.

"At least promise me you will find the violet eyed man." At that she froze, eyes wide and full of something similar to panic, however I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"No." She looks upset now, I wonder why.

"Feyre." I tried to sound authoritative, but I don't know if I succeeded.

"Are you sure Tamlin is the High Lord the Suriel was talking about?" That hit a nerve for her.

"Why-?" Her voice cracked slightly, but I can't back out now.

"There are six other courts for a reason." And that was the cherry on top.

"You know what? I'm done." She wiped her hands and left the dining room, the atmosphere got heavier, and Elain slipped out of the room with a quiet 'goodnight '. I groaned as I got up from the table, cleared it out and returned it to the kitchen, from where I snatched Nesta's unfinished bottle of wine, a glass and rushed straight for my room. I messed up yet again. I poured myself some of the wine left as I tried to think about anything else to no avail. I could've been more firm in my point, Gods I wish I would've. At least I knew it would ensure her safety. Or maybe I'm imagining things. As my thoughts spiraled I got another glass and a half and finished the bottle, slumber taking me right after finishing, in my chaise.

The next morning, when I went to her room, she was nowhere to be found, and when I spotted Nesta and questioned her about Feyre's whereabouts, she looked at me with a grim expression as she asked me quietly, the words carried by the wind. "Didn't she tell you? She left."

#acotar #acotar imagine #acotar x oc #elain kingslayer #nesta archeron #feyre cursebreaker #acotar x reader #acotar x you

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michellemondares · 7 months

Text

Memoir

Ma. Michelle Mae Mondares

12-Bookkeeping

April 14, 2006

I was born in April 14, 2006 and my mother named me Maria Michelle Mae Mondares.

When I was a month old, I got sick and my whole skin turns to red. My mother was just crying while holding me because she couldn’t afford to bring me in the hospital due to lack of money. When my grandfather and grandmother arrived at home they saw my mother crying while holding me, they ask what happened and my mother said that I am sick. They look at me with pity in their eyes and they rushed me to the hospital. The doctor said that, thankfully that I was rushed in hospital or else I would die that time because my body wont hold it. I was so thankful back then because through the years I am still alive and thats because god is good. Later on, at my age of 5 to 7 I really love to play sisira ang bulalak-bubukas ang bubulak it is commonly known in philippine as children play. I used to wear colorful dress when I was a kid and I really like to wear high heels because it makes me feel like an adult. I love playing outside of our house in mandaue city and I have a lot of friends in mandaue city, named deo, grace, maxine, love, jessa, and many more. My favorite food back then was fried chicken and I really love to dip it in the ketchup. One day when my grandmonther sell an ice candy I thought that it was for free because im just a kid back then, I called many kids around our neighborhood and gave it to them one by one. I was scolded and I cried because I was clueless and I just want to have many friends back then, but if I think of it right now its kinda funny. One day my father died due to heart attack and I cried so hard because I couldn’t afford to accept right away and in 2017 we moved to lapu-lapu city, I met new people and new friends. In 2018, I started online business on facebook. I sell clothes online and I have many customers and I earned a lot of money around 7,000pesos and I used that money for my school supplies and other personal stuff. In 2019 I graduated in junior high and in 2022 a typhoon occurred again and it hits very hard in Lapu- Lapu city. The typhone called “bagyong odette” that time I cried for mercy because the typhoon that we didnt expect that the typhoon will be so strong. All humanities in Lapu-Lapu city was affected and we lost electricity, some of people lost homes. Every night we used candles for light and a diy fan, I used to go out at night and just staring at the moon because if the night came the road is dark. We suffered at least 2-3months because of “Bagyong odette” we used to go in a lanueva or unitop to use their generator to charge our phones and flashlights. That time it is hard to use cellphones because there is no signal and there’s no electricity, so what I did I read books, paint and play with my sister and cousins. The typhoon occurred when christmas is coming, during christmas all people didnt celebrate I didnt see fireworks. I realized that in december 25, 2022, 98% of people was sad because they lost homes and cant eat properly. After 2-3 months, the electricity came back and we we’re so happy. We start to get back on our feet and start cleaning in our house and I helped my grandmother to clean our house. I learned many lessons when bagyong odette occured because if bagyong odette didn’t occurred we will always focus on our cellphone and we cannot notice what is in our environment, we will not learn how to have a quality time with our families. Bagyong odette thought me that having quality time with your family is the best part of our lives. Right now im currently studying in Asian Learning center, I joined a choir in the school called “glee club” and I practiced singing and playing piano but sadly I quit in the choir because of some reason. But through that I met my new bandmates but we dont have band name for now, I am happy with them and I enjoy every moment if were together. In 2024 I joined a singing contest in our school called “ALCI Global Idol”, I won 1st placer. Also I met a boy, he is so handsome and smarter than me. He asked me if its okay to court me and I said yes! I felt butterflies in my stomach that I haven't experienced in years. Right now Im living the best.

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obscureglance · 1 year

Text

1. Last beverage: Ice water

2. Last phone call: Either parents or roommate

3. Last song you listened to: Easier than Lying by Halsey

4. Last time you cried: I think yesterday

5. Have you dated someone twice: I went out tonight with someone I used to talk to. No offense, but the dude is boring.

6. Have you ever been cheated on: Yep

7. Kissed someone & regretted it: Probably

8. Have you lost someone special: A few family members

9. What are your three favorite colors: Green, Blue, and Purple

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: Actually, yes

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: Not on here

12. How many kids do you want: Two at most

13. Do you want any pets: One dog and one cat

14. Do you want to change your name: Not legally.

15. What did you do for your last birthday: Threw a house party

16. What time did you wake up today: Too early

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for: To see my friends on Sunday!

18. Last time you saw your mother: Monday

19. Most visited webpage: Google

20. Nicknames: Boobs

21. Relationship status: Single

22. Zodiac sign: Virgo

23. Male or female: A woman

24. Height: 5’2”

25. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes, but not on anyone worth it

26. Piercings: Not anymore

27. Tattoos: Many

28. Strong or Weak: Strong, but tired

FIRSTS

29. First surgery: Cholecystectomy

30. First best friend: Cody or Alissa

31. First sport you joined: Diving, I believe

32. First vacation: Oregon

33. First school: That’s private

34. First pair of trainers: Like bra? I don’t remember

WHICH IS BETTER

35. Lips or eyes: Lips

36. Hugs or kisses: Kisses usually

37. Shorter or taller: I’ll always be shorter

38. Older or younger:

After the last guy? Older, please

39. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneity is romantic to me

40. Sensitive or loud: Both

41. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

42. Shy or outgoing: Depends on my mood

HAVE YOU EVER

43. Kissed a stranger: Yep, he looked like one of The Wayans Bros.

44. Gotten a speeding ticket: More than one

45. Lost glasses/contacts: One pair of glasses and MANY contacts lol

46. Sex on first date: Rarely

47. Broken someone's heart: Yep

48. Been arrested: Yes

49. Have you turned someone down: Of course

50. Fallen for a friend: Always

51. Moved out of town: Yes

BELIEVE IN

52. Miracles: I do

53. Love at first sight: Lust or a spark, but not love

54. Heaven: Not specifically

55. Santa Claus: I wish he were real

56. Kiss on the first date: Unless it went horridly, absolutely

57. Angels: In a sense

58. Yourself: Yes, but I could be better

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: I don’t think so

60. Been in love with someone you couldn't be with?: All the time

61. Ever cheated on somebody: Not since I was a teenager

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 1973

63. Are you afraid of falling in love: I’m scared of getting hurt

64. Was your last relationship a mistake? Last official relationship? No

Last situationship? Maybe

65. Do you miss your last relationship? I miss my last situationship more than my last relationship

66. Who did you last say “i love you” to? Probably my dad

67. Have you ever been depressed? MDD

68. Are you insecure? Not as much as I used to be

69. How do you want to die? Whenever I start to have to wear a diaper I hope an angel of mercy k!lls me

70. Do you bite your nails? I’ve been better about it recently

71. When was your last physical fight? A few years ago

72. Do you have an attitude? Notoriously so

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twirl

74. Do you tan a lot? Nope

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? Of course

76. Ever made out in a bathroom? Pretty sure

77. Would you take any of your exes back? I hope I don’t

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Just once

79. What are your plans for this weekend? BBQ and pet sit

80. Do you type fast? Sometimes

81. Can you spell well? Not always

82: What are you craving right now? Praline

83. Have you ever been on a horse? Yeah, a long time ago

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them? I have to in order to figure out if they’re my person

85. What’s irritating you right now? Everything

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Absolutely

87. Does somebody love you? Romantically? No one that I know of

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? Who hasn’t?

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate? Milk

90. Do you have trust issues? Yes

91. Longest relationship? On and off for years

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? I know so

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs? A lot, actually

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? No, not evil

95. Did you have dream last night? I dream a lot and I love it

96. Have you ever been out of state? Yep

97. Do you play the Wii? At friends’ houses when I was younger

98. Do you like Chinese food? Yes!

99. Are you afraid of the dark? Only when I’m h!gh

100. Is cheating ever okay? NO

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 3 years

Text

Bucky Barnes Angst!

Hi, friends! Welcome to angst-central! I love me some Bucky Barnes angst, and I hope you enjoy my angsty posts :)

Find my Ko-Fi here!

After All This Time | impending danger puts you and your ex, Bucky, in close quarters.

All in My Head | Your perfect boyfriend Bucky just wants to take you dancing, and his sweeping romantic gesture is almost too good to be true.

Anti Hero | Bucky can’t believe someone like you would be with someone like him. And he’s certain it won’t last.

Are There Still Beautiful Things? | Sequel to The Ultimatum | Bucky helps bring you back to life after things with your boyfriend blow up. He tells you you're free from your relationship if you want to be- but you have to return to your boyfriend's apartment to get your things. Bucky comes along, of course.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside | In the dead of winter, the heating in your building goes out. You don’t mind the freezing temperatures, but Bucky is miserable.

The Ballad of Love and Hate | Bucky refuses to open up to you even after you've moved in together. You need some time away to think while Bucky spirals due to your absence.

Begin Again | Bucky broke up with you six months for an unspecified reason, leaving you absolutely heartbroken. When he shows up on your doorstep, your feelings come rushing back.

Blood on My Hands | A text from Sam sparks anxiety about Bucky’s state of mind after his most recent mission, and all you want to do is fix it for him.

Burning the Midnight Oil | Bucky says he’s okay. He tells you that he just can’t fall asleep, but his continuous absence from your bedroom spells trouble.

Call Me When You Get This | Bucky always worries about your safety, but his anxiety gets worse when he’s away on a mission. He doesn’t hear from you for an entire day, and it makes him spiral.

Chemical Imbalance | Bucky finally returns from his latest mission, and goin and you can’t wait to see him. But when his old instincts resurface, the two of you are forced apart.

Clean Up Crew | You’d do anything for your best friend Bucky. And when he calls you in the middle of the night with a strange request, you jump at the chance to help him.

Come Find Me | Bucky cant wait for you to return from your mission. But when your partner comes back without you, it's up to Bucky to bring you home safe.

Damaged | It’s date night, but your chronic pain is rearing its ugly head. Bucky spends the night worrying about you and trying to care for you.

Dark Reflection | A particularly dark night terror wakes Bucky in a panic. He reaches for you and finds your side of the bed empty, save for a few drops of blood.

Darling, You Will Bury Me Before I Bury You | You know Bucky is a super soldier, but you worry about how long he'll be around. He is 106, after all.

Disarmed | Bucky’s radio silence prompts you to pay him a visit. When you see him, you notice new injuries and one missing piece.

Documentary Now | In his free time, Bucky wants to catch up on all of your favorite movies and tv shows, but he stumbles upon something darker.

Do You Want to Die Together? | Bucky’s lost a lot of people in his life, and it’s only a matter of time before he starts thinking about losing you.

Double Agent | Bucky can’t control his rage as he sees you, a former Hydra operative, joining the team. His fury is quelled, however, when you reveal the truth about your past.

Double Agent: Part 2 | A nightmare violently wakes you up, but Bucky is there to take care if you. After calming down, you tell him every last detail of your time under Hydra.

Double Agent: Part 3 | All Bucky wants is for you to get some rest, but there’s no way you can sleep. He picks your brain over some breakfast, and learns more about your past.

Double Agent: Part 4 | Things between you and Bucky improve consistently, and you quickly become close friends. But one unfortunate middle of the night event sends the two of you back two square one.

Dust to Dust | Bucky’s on a long mission, and you’re preparing for his return home. But Sam has some unfortunate news that shakes you to your core.

End of My Rope | Bucky’s been down lately, and you’ve been doing your best best to help. But things come to a head when you come home early from work.

End of Story | An injury forces you to examine Bucky’s mortality head on and talk about things you never wanted to admit.

Excuses | An unexpected relapse of Bucky’s Winter Soldier mindset makes him do something he doesn’t remember- the worst thing he’s ever done.

False Reality | Running into an unpleasant person from your past sends you into a shame spiral. Bucky gets you home and takes care of you- reminding you of your worth.

Family Man | More than anything, Bucky wants you to be happy. He’d do anything to help you find someone, no matter how much it hurts him.

Fixer Upper | Bucky knows he’s got issues. But with your help, he’s been making great strides. His long recovery seems to be going well, but he wonders how long you’ll stick around.

For You, I Would Ruin Myself | Work’s been kicking your ass lately, and Bucky knows it. But you come home and try to seduce him anyway, just like you always do.

Glutton For Punishment | After being blamed for something that wasn’t his fault, Bucky spirals. And it’s in the midst of his breakdown that you learn the origin of the bruise on his chest.

Happiness is a Butterfly | You never expected to meet the Bucky Barnes somewhere so mundane, but bumping into him at the grocery store leads to a first date.

Haunted | You and Bucky have finally admitted your feelings for each other, but when he hurts you by accident, he runs. You're left to pick up the pieces in his absence.

Help me | Bucky wakes from a night terror and divulges the details of a particular horrifying memory- one he’s never shared with anyone.

Hold My Hand | Keeping your emotional struggles to yourself is just the way you operate, until Bucky wakes one to find you sobbing.

Home | Bucky is your best friend in the compound and your favorite person to spend time with until he ices you out completely.

Hopelessly Devoted | Yet another failed date leaves you tired of being alone. Bucky makes it his mission to help you feel better, and ends up making a surprising confession.

I Can Go Anywhere I Want- Just Not Home | Bucky doesn't talk to you anymore, and he's less than enthusiastic when he runs into you out of the blue. But when he calls from a strange phone number, the puzzle pieces fall together.

I’ll Show You Mine | Bucky’s nightmares get to him each and every night, but he refuses to ask for help- until one night, he knocks on your door.

I’ll Never Smile Again | sequel to Honey, Come Home | Bucky’s mission keeps getting extended, leaving you sad and alone.

I’ll Wear Your Ring | Bucky loved you. He gave you a ring and asked you to be his wife- and then he left without a trace.

I Never Learned to Read Your Mind | Bucky broke up with you just over a month ago, yet gets jealous after seeing you with another man.

It Feels Easier to Just Swim Down | Several unanswered texts make Bucky work about you, and he ends up at your apartment to check in on you. What he finds breaks his heart.

It Will Come Back | Bucky is your very best friend but he’s very hot and cold toward you, so you confront him.

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want to | It’s a special night- the night of your birthday party. Bucky promised to be there, but he has yet to show up.

Just in Case | On the run after the events of Civil War, Bucky hasn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. You offer to sit with him, and he makes an off putting request.

Let Go | Bucky knows there’s something you’re hiding from him, and all he wants is to help. But you remain closed off and tight lipped until everything falls apart.

Like a Secret, Like an Oath | Bucky never misses an opportunity to give you a kiss or hold your hand- unless the team is around.

Long Gone | The greatest tragedy of your life, Bucky’s disappearance in the blip, finally comes to an end when he returns home- but is he really back?

Lost Without You | Your mission team returns home safely… without you. Bucky launches into an investigation, doing everything he can to get you back.

Love Language | You notice that Bucky has started pulling away from your usual physical affection, and it makes you rethink the way you show your love.

Lucky | A dicey mission has Bucky looking a little worse for wear. You’re already worried about him, but he makes a comment that sends your anxiety into overdrive.

Making Amends | You’ve never seen the inside of Bucky’s secret little notebook, and when you accidentally take a glance, you can’t believe what you find.

Means to an End | Bucky comes home from a mission injured and bloody- just like always. But the details of what happened make you unravel.

Mercy Kill | After Bucky gets hurt on a mission, you're forbidden from visiting him in the medway. When you finally get to speak to him, things go differently than you expected.

Metamorphosis | Bucky never anticipated meeting someone like you, let alone befriending you. He bares his soul to you, showing you every dark corner of his mind, and you help him become a new man.

Monster Mash | A Halloween party goes very south when you and Bucky are met face to face with someone from both of your pasts.

Muscle Memory | Things with Bucky are perfect until he touches you in a way that brings back terrible memories.

Necessary Evil | when you end up hurt after a mission, Bucky is tasked with taking care of you. But you’ve never experienced pain like this before.

Never Alone | Bucky is afraid of who he is deep down, and thinks leaving is the best option for the both of you.

Never Stop Searching | When the jet returns from a mission without you, Bucky is fiercely determined to find you.

The Night We Met | Bucky comes to you with a question, a file full of redacted documents, and a broken heart. He needs to know- why didn’t you tell him?

Nothing Fucks With My Baby | Bucky shows up late to a Shield party and finds out that a new agent made you uncomfortable. He takes care of it.

Nowhere to Go | Bucky’s temporary living situation falls through and he needs a place to crash, but he’s too embarrassed to ask for help.

Old Habits | Bucky’s old Winter Soldier training starts rearing its head, causing him to become more protective of you than ever before.

Packed Bags | Bucky comes home to find your things neatly packed into a suitcase, and he does everything he can to convince you not to leave him.

Penance | Bucky comes home from a mission bloody and injured. You want him to get some medical attention, but he refuses.

Protect Yourself | Bucky worries endlessly about your safety and just wants you to know how to keep yourself safe. Unfortunately, you end up injured in the process and he blames himself.

Put My Mind at Ease | You return home from a successful mission with plans to have a pizza night with Bucky- but things go awry when an injury rears it’s head.

The Quiet | Bucky is gone all the time on mission after mission, fulfilling his duties as an Avenger- but is he doing too much?

The Rain is Always Gonna Come if You're Standing With Me | A hurtful article in a low-budget gossip magazine throws your relationship with Bucky for a loop.

Red Light, Green Light | Sex with Bucky is better than you’d ever experienced, but he has a habit that draws your attention.

Revenge | A mission gone sideways finds you bloodied on the floor of a Hydra base, and Bucky knows exactly who’s to blame.

Safe With Me | A mission goes sideways, putting you in the hands of a notorious Hydra arms dealer. Upon returning home, your well-being takes a turn for the worst, but Bucky is there for you.

Scared Half to Death | Bucky steps out on Halloween night to grab some more candy for the neighborhood kids. When he returns home, a bloody scene awaits.

Self-Inflicted | A strange sound wakes you up in the middle of the night, and you discover a sleeping Bucky covered blood.

She Never Asked Me Once About the Wrong I Did | Bucky comes home from a mission, racked with guilt and covered in blood that isn't his. He needs comfort and safety and that only you can provide.

Silent Lucidity | Bucky calls in the middle of the night, and something is clearly wrong. He doesn’t sound like himself. He needs you.

Somebody’s Watching Me | Bucky knows you’re being stalked by the creepy guy who frequents your work place, but you shrug it off- until the man takes things a little too far.

That’s My Girl | Bucky hates when you go on missions without him, and he counts the hours till you return. When you end up in the med bay without him knowing why, he loses it.

Til it Happens to You | An unsavory encounter with an old friends leaves Bucky picking up your broken pieces.

The Ultimatum | You cut Bucky out of your life at the request of your less than stellar boyfriend. When you show up at Bucky’s front door, asking for help, he doesn’t hesitate to let you in.

Unanswered Letters | Bucky is your best friend in the Avengers compound...until he leaves with no warning. His return is confusing and complicated for the both of you.

Under the Influence | Girls night out with Nat and Wanda gets ruined by a particularly creepy stranger, and Bucky spends the night taking care of you.

Unforgivable | Bucky can’t contain himself when you defy his orders on a mission and out yourself in danger.

Unhinged | An argument between you and Bucky gets a little out of hand, prompting him to leave with no intention of returning.

Watch You Sleep | sequel to Just in Case | Bucky falls asleep in your lap and finally gets the rest he deserves. One tiny mistake by you wakes him, however, leading to a violent outburst.

Weak Link | Bucky is your favorite person to work with on missions, and you’re partnered together every time- until someone keeps changing things up last minute, making you doubt your friendship with him.

What Could Go Wrong? | A SWORD function at the compound has Bucky feeling uneasy. He can’t seem to stop himself from checking up on you, but you swear to him that you’re not in danger- you’re wrong.

Why Are You at the Wake? | Bucky sits by your hospital bed, anxious for you to finally open your eyes. He’s got to set the record straight, and apologize for what he said before you got hurt.

Winter in my Heart | Bucky just can’t get a handle on his emotions as he tries to adjust to a normal life with you.

The Words | While out with you at the store, Bucky encounters something from his past that messes with his head.

The World Stopped Moving | A mission gone wrong leaves you and Bucky both gravely injured.

Unforgivable | Bucky is your closest friend, he’s the person you care about most. But things take a negative turn when he snaps at you in front everyone.

You Drew Stars Around My Scars | you and Bucky trade off telling the stories behind your scars. But one of Bucky’s stories is worse than you could ever imagine.

You Don’t Own Me | Bucky’s wounds land him in the med bay after a mission, much to his dismay. A particular scar of his catches your eye, forcing Bucky to unravel even more of his traumatic past.

Yours | Bucky loves being your boyfriend, but he knows he's got a lot of baggage. He worries that it's too much for you, so you talk him through it.

You're Here Now | Bucky always begs you to lock the front door, but you're forgetful. Too bad you forgot to lock it the day Hydra came after you to get back at Bucky...

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lunasdream · 3 years

Text

yeah right // peter parker

pairing: andrew! peter parker x f! reader

summary: what if after the blip you don’t die and end up in another universe.

word count: 1.3k

warnings: curse words, possible NWH SPOILERS, not really but still, talks about death and biblical shit idk.

part 2 is out now!!

a/n: i watched nwh the other day and got inspired to write this. i haven’t written and finished a story in months so this isn’t my favorite thing i’ve written but i just had to write my thoughts out lol. might delete if i think about it too much hehe.

As the battle against Thanos came to a finish, whatever hope that anyone on the battlefield had, disintegrated along with their very bodies that once fought for peace. Half of the world's population would soon catch up to the catastrophe that Thanos caused. The feeling of being turned into dust was nothing you had ever felt before, and you’ve been thrown across cities by demons plenty of times.

Death is something you’ve prepared for; having abilities like yours always comes with a price. “Heaven” or whatever came after seemed too good to be true, being the daughter of the personification of all evil did not necessarily guarantee a position up there for you.

As the inevitable washed over your body you expected to see pure darkness deciding your fate but what you did not expect to see was the city you currently lived in.

”I’m back?” You blurted out confused, getting up to assess your surroundings.

You were in an alleyway behind a taco restaurant which you were thankful for because no one would have seen you in so much distress. Although they wouldn’t have even batted an eye because stuff like this happened so often. A crying woman running out of an alley? Been there, done that.

It looked like New York but why did you get an icky feeling like something was off. Way off. The busy sidewalk, cars honking at each other and the abundance of street performers were routinely there but why did you still feel unsure.

“I have to find Tony.”

He was the only person you had in mind since he was so easy to locate. You teleported to the Avengers tower only to see a tall boring building without an obnoxious ‘A’ on the front.

“This has got to be a sick joke, what is going on. Did damage control decide to move the Avengers tower or what?” You looked around trying to find someone who was nice enough to stop and explain to you what’s going on. But all you were met with was glaring eyes. You were over it so you grabbed someone to make them explain.

“Hey, you, where’s the Avengers tower?”

“….I’m sorry but what the fuck are you talking about?”

＝☆・゜:*:

After a long talk with the rather blunt stranger, not before you erased any recollection of the conversation, you figured out that this world was not where you belonged or existed for that matter.

”So no Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D, Asgardians or any other worldly creatures exist here? Great, that's perfect. Thank you so much Mr.Thanos this is just what I needed.”

Walking around the city you thought about where you would be staying, Tony had provided you a home when you first got to New York. Now you have to find another rich individual to take advantage of.

Although you were worn out from the fight in Wakanda you were determined to find some place to settle down in. Having turned nightfall you teleported from place to place unsatisfied with the apartments you looked at.

“Is this really gonna be my life from now on. Fuck me.”

As you were walking away you couldn’t help but think about the others; your teammates, the only people you can call family.

Where have they gone? Did they go to another world or were they just dead and never coming back? You knew from the get go that these questions you asked yourself would not be answered anytime soon.

But on the other hand you were almost excited to start a completely new life where no one would know you. No one would know what you have done before you joined the Avengers. The thing about being Satan’s daughter for you usually meant that it came with the price of being his favorite messenger. You’d spent so long killing and torturing folks who didn’t want to follow a ruthless leader that you begged to whatever higher power would kill you and release you of this personal hell.

Upon teleporting to a random rooftop you were greeted with a cutesy little sight. Trash was scattered along the floor while the melted candles gave it a bit of a witchy vibe which you absolutely dug and couldn’t be mad at that. With a flick of your hand you gathered the icky garbage and conjured a simple cleaning spell to give the dingy rooftop a little hope.

“Woah, how’d you do that!” You heard some guy shout out behind the rooftop door. On instinct, your power beamed ready to fight your new threat. Circling around them ready to have the upper hand you noticed them mirroring your moves.

“Okay so you want to fight.”

After a minute of that you got annoyed by it so you teleported to get behind him. Him already having sensed that, he swung away landing on top of the next building that was a higher level.

It’s as if somebody had slowed down this moment to allow you to fully experience what you were looking at right before your very eyes.

“Peter? Oh my god Peter it’s you….it’s actually you!”

His red suit was a hug you didn’t know you needed. It didn’t take long for you to catch up to him giving him a crushing hug afraid he would disappear.

“Oh I thought it was just me who was stuck here! I’m so glad you’re here! People like us don’t exist here! It's like we’re in a parallel universe and this was our punishment for trying to save our world!?” You take a big breath, nodding your head along with your words. “Do you think we’re stuck here? You’re smart, sort of, I mean you’re no Banner but I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Peter stares at you muddled at the fact that you were talking about parallel universes. That couldn’t possibly be true however he had just seen your hands glow white so maybe it was and you also seem to know him quite well since he wasn’t exactly Peter Parker at the moment. And who was Banner?

He felt extremely worried for you yet he couldn’t understand why he felt butterflies in his stomach as you rambled on.

“C’mon Peter what are you doing let’s go break into some science lab and get the hell out of here.” Grabbing onto his hand you attempted to lead him to the edge of the roof to jump down but he wasn’t budging at all.

“…I’m so sorry about this and you’re gonna be really disappointed but I’m not who you think I am.” As he pulled off his mask, your body stilled, heart thumping so loud you were sure he could hear it.

“You’re not Peter.” You stated, backing away from him.

“Yes I am.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am actually.” He retorted.

“Prove it. Let me see some identification.”

“I don’t necessarily carry that around, I have no pockets.”

You stomped your foot. “This isn’t fair. You’re clearly a fan of his and you’re trying to seek attention.” You reasoned. “You obviously need professional help.”

“Did I not just get from that building to this building in seconds?”

You snorted. “You’re probably a parkour artist who has too much time in his hands making those silly webs.”

Tired of your accusations he grabbed you swiftly. “Hold on tight.”

“Wait, what are you doing? Let me go.” You yelled at him.

The ground beneath you disappeared as he swung you both into the air. You felt the wind blow against your cheeks, excitement filling your stomach. You could very much fly but chose to teleport since it was much cooler but this was nothing you’ve ever experienced before. You could see the bustling city from above, the bright billboards felt as if they were for you and only you.

“This is so cool!” You shouted, grabbing onto him tightly not because you were afraid of falling, but because you enjoyed the feeling of being held.

“Okay...okay I believe you now.” You laughed looking at him with a big smile on your face.

Whatever feeling of dread you possessed since you were blipped into this peculiar world with this version of Peter Parker, had now long gone surprisingly. You’d deal with the consequences later.

#peter parker x reader #andrew garfield #tasm!peter parker #andrew garfield x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #the amazing spider man #no way home

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Wheels Up

Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader (Y/N), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway, Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Matt Simmons, Luke Alvez

Summary: JJ goes on maternity leave, Spencer falls in love with her replacement that he's supposed to be mentoring, Emily Prentiss and Elle Greenaway work a case together that brings Simmons and Alvez in for help...

Warnings: Genius!Reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, drinking, star gazing, lots of fluff, mentions of past assault, grooming, drug addiction, spencer's trauma, Abductions, Rape, Murder (typical canon violence)

word count: 9.4K

a/n: this is for @starry-eyed-spence and @simmonsmilf CM fanfiction week, Day One: Favorite Character... only I couldn't pick just one.

To say Spencer fell in love at the least opportune time was a bit of an understatement. Everyone he’s ever come close to admitting his love to has either left him or died. Now he’s stuck with loving someone in secret, keeping it to himself and hoping that one day she’ll love him back.

He fell in love with a co-worker once again… which wasn’t the worst thing, office romances happen and it’s quite frankly all Rossi’s fault that they even had to worry about fraternization policies. The part that makes liking Y/N so difficult is that he’s supposed to be her mentor, he’s 5 years older than her, and if he was to ever make a move she would feel inclined to reciprocate in order to keep her job because that’s the unfortunate truth behind office relationships with significant differences in positions.

And worst of all… she doesn’t like him that way at all. She’s called him the brother she always needed, a best friend, the best mentor ever. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.

“And why would she be?” He’s said this to everyone who knew about his crush on her. “I’m old and boring and she’s so cool?”

But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that every time she asked him to hang back to help her file something, or when they would buddy up in hotel rooms to discuss cases all night and end up down some star trek rabbit hole instead, every time he talked to her she was falling in love with him right back.

It once again all circles back to Rossi, if it wasn’t for him, Spencer wouldn’t even know her. She wouldn’t have ever been introduced to the unit, he wouldn’t be attached to her at the hip and he probably wouldn’t be as happy as he is with her in his life. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend.

He’ll never forget the day Rossi asked him to meet her, to help her settle in…

“Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rossi called him into his office.

He sighed, putting his book down and walking up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind himself and smiled awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Sit,” he gestures to the chairs in front of his desk, where Spencer pulls one out and proceeds to sit down, anxiously. “As you know, both Kate and JJ will be out of the field in the next few months to have their babies and we need to bring someone in to fill the void until they return, so I reached out to the academy to see if they have any up and coming Dr. Reid like agents that they could loan us.”

“Why?” Spencer laughs at the choice of words.

“Well, honestly, why get new 2 agents when we could have two Reid’s? JJ will be back after a month or 2, it’s better to have more brains than brawn.”

“So they found someone and you want me to be their chaperone?” Spencer clues in. “Who are they?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a wonderful agent, but she’s pretty quiet, I don’t know much about her personally.” Rossi prefaces. “She’s a genius, high IQ like yours and just a plethora of knowledge inside that mind of hers. You’ll like her.”

“Alright,” he nods. “When do they start?”

“When JJ’s water breaks, but I’d like you to meet them and maybe even have them shadow you for a day?” Rossi asks, “I’ve actually arranged for you both to get dinner at a friend's restaurant?”

“Is this an arranged date or purely business? Don’t send me in there blind,” he worries. “I need at least a week's prep before I go on a date again.”

“It’s not a date, kid,” Rossi laughs. “She's just a lot like you were when I met you, and I know from watching you all these years that it’s not easy to do it alone, so can you just walk them through it?”

“Of course.”

That first dinner Rossi set up for them was more exquisite than either of them prepared for.

They spent the whole night discussing dissertations and their independent journeys through becoming a genius. He understood perfectly why Rossi and the Academy would think she was a lot like him, she was a genius, but she was awkward. It took a while for her to break out of her shell and open up, but by the end of the night, he already knew they were going to be friends.

“So,” she smirks, “would you mind telling me honestly how hard this job is?”

“Why?”

She sighs, “I’ve heard a lot about Thee Doctor Reid and how you were the youngest hired to the BAU and all the shit you’ve been through.”

“What are the rumours these days?” He awkwardly smiles back, rolling his eyes slightly.

“That you were brain dead in a cemetery from an overdose and yet you’re so smart you came back from the dead to kill the unsub and escape…” she looks more and more disappointed in the rumour as she tells it.

His tongue hits the roof of his mouth as he opens it to speak, making a tsk noise as he shakes his head. “Well, I did OD but it was the unsubs main personality that resuscitated me.”

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

He nods, “what about you? I’m sure you have a reputation based on a rumour?”

She presses her lips together the way he always did, just as awkward. She sighs, huffing the air out of her nose and looking fed up. “I was groomed and assaulted by an older boy who then told kids I had a stalkerish crush on him so if I was to ever tell anyone what happened, then no one would believe me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer knows the words don’t make up for what happened. “I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to get into profiling?”

She nods, “I got away with some PTSD and trust issues, most girls go through much worse… they deserve someone who gets it to look into their cases.”

Spencer nods. “That’s how I felt after my kidnapping too. It took a while for me to look at crime scene photos and not think about how they felt, and wonder why I lived when so many die?”

“I’ve never been a religious person,” she prefaces. “But I do believe we are here for a reason. Whether you choseto be here after your last life or this is some learning opportunity, or God is actually real? And you’re supposed to do good.”

“In narcotics anonymous, they reference god a lot, it’s helpful for the addicts, but I never get into it,” he opens up with her more than he’s ever opened up with any friend. “If my Devine purpose is to suffer in order to relate to those I’m supposed to help that’s a load of bullshit… honestly, I can get pretty angry thinking about why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through doing this job, but it’s not as bad as what happened to me growing up, and it leads me to believe that I probably wouldn’t have had an easy time no matter how I live.”

She nods, “I know, I get that.”

“Sorry,” he snaps out of it. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”

“It’s exactly what I asked for actually,” she reminds him with a soft smile. “If you can still come to work every day, after all that, you must be incredibly strong— and if I’m anything like you the way people say I am, I guess I can do it too.”

He had no idea she would end up being his best friend.

She shadowed him just once in the office, picked up everything right off the bat and immediately made a name for herself in the unit. Derek tried multiple names on her before one stuck, and they knew it stuck when even Hotch called her Baby Genius.

She brought a different knowledge base to the team, similar to Spencers but visibly younger. She fit in with the crowds of kids they had to interview, she understood why kids reacted the way they did to trauma and abuse, and she was still a kid at heart. It was the reason Spencer fell for her.

She allowed him to feel free again. They went out together outside of work, going to events he always wanted to go to with a partner but never had a chance. She loved all the same things as him, and she takes him to places he’d never imagine enjoying before her.

Like laser tag… that was an afternoon he’ll never forget with her.

When JJ went into labour, that’s when Y/N started full time and Hotch hired Tara Lewis in the same week. The team barely had time to adjust to being undermanned before they were restocked.

Joining Spencer every morning for every case, she waited out front of her apartment for him to pick her up most mornings, sticking to his side throughout the long days and nights until he drove her home again. Even at work, they were partnered up for everything: heading to the M.E. together, bouncing facts back and forth at the precinct, playing good cop bad cop with perverts, and her personal favourite… Making the geoprofile.

And Spencer liked doing that part with her as well. Because it typically meant they were completely alone in a room, spreading out a map and leaning in close to each other as they placed every sticker and marker. Brushing hands, bumping shoulders, longing glances as they made connections… he also just liked to watch her hands move.

She was delicate and careful and precise… and he was falling in love with everything about her as the days went by.

Everyone on the team had noticed. It was really hard not to when they’ve all known Spencer for almost 11 years now. He was so different with her in his life, he was happy and giddy and dressing even better than before. His hair was perfect and he was glued to Y/N’s side. Or she was glued to his.

Even though they were mentally similar, physically they were polar opposites. Y/N wore all black and was a lot more outgoing than they expected. Rossi thought she’d be quiet… But she was constantly talking. To Spencer, to other officers, to witnesses, she never stopped talking and starting conversations, and thank god she did because she’s cracked 4 cases that way.

The biggest surprise the team learned about her happened on a case in Florida, a shooting in a local park in broad daylight with lots of witnesses meant the whole team was on the boardwalk asking questions. She went out to do her thing, talking to the local skaters, asking them if they knew anything but they didn’t want to cooperate.

They were too cool for the feds.

“Can I see your board?” She asks, “if I do some tricks will you answer some questions for me and Doctor Reid?”

“Knock yourself out,” one of the boys laughs as he hands her his board.

She hands Spencer her gun and shoots him a wink before taking off to do a few tricks. The whole team watches in awe then as Y/N showed off. Cruising along the halfpipe effortlessly like she was a professional.

“Okay Tony Hawk,” Morgan teases her, “where did that come from?”

“Skateboarding is easy, it’s just physics,” she shrugs. “I can figure skate too…”

“What do you want to know?” The boy takes his board back. “We always see some sketchy guys around here.”

Morgan pats Y/N on the back with a smile, applauding her ability to get anyone to open up before leaving her to take the statement.

“Agent?” One of the girls pulls her aside just before they are about to leave, “how did you do that kickflip? I’ve been trying to learn and the boys won't help me.”

“Sure thing,” she takes the girl's board and demonstrates a kickflip first.

“So, you see as I start the kickflip I bend my knees?” She shows her another kickflip all while explaining it. “Much like the with an ollie, I’m building pressure so I can apply it to the tail, making the board pop. The one thing that makes this trick different from the ollie is that instead of sliding my foot up, I just flick my toe out to the right of the board, by doing this, the board flips in a 360-degree motion.

She demonstrates again and it’s another flawless kickflip, and a huge smile on her face as Spencer watches her.

“How fast the board spins depends on how much force I put into it when I flick it out. As soon as the board flips in a full 360, your feet should connect and drive the board back to the ground.”

She hands the board back to the girl, “your turn.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her nerves out before taking off on her board, looping around and carefully bending her knees, she follows every step and it’s a flawless kickflip.

“Flawless!!” Y/N claps. “Those boys better watch out, you’re a natural.”

“Thank you,” she wraps her arms around Y/N and gives her a hug, “it’s taken me so long to be able to do that, you’re so cool.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “Good luck out there.”

She waves as she takes off on her board, leaving Y/N with a smile as she turns to Spencer. “I miss being that age and thinking everything is so cool.”

“You are really cool,” he agrees. Smiling softly as a blush fills his cheeks. “You’re always surprising me. Is there anything you can’t do?”

She laughs, “yeah the one thing I want to do the most.”

“Which is?”

She sighs, “maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

—

He’s sitting beside Penelope and Savannah, watching Derek and Y/N get drinks for what’s left of the group as the night drags on.

“When are you going to tell her?” Savannah asks.

“What?” Spencer pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“You have a crush on the new girl…” she pokes his cheek as he blushes and gives it away. “Tell her, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“She could feel forced to say yes because I’m a supervisory special agent and she isn’t and she wants to keep her job so she feels like she needs to,” Spencer worries. “I want her to like me back because she fell for me and I want her to initiate it because then I’ll know it’s not just a power dynamic issue.”

“Have you tried asking her, genius?” Penelope teases. “Because if you asked her then you’d know she has a crush on you and she’s afraid you’ll turn her down because you’re an SSA and she isn’t.”

“When did you hear that?”

Penelope pretends to lock up her lips and throw away the key, making Savannah laugh loud enough to get Derek's attention at the bar. When he and Y/N return, that’s when the questions start.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Spencer gets up and leaves the booth, walking out towards the smokers' exit at the back of the bar, getting a moment of semi-fresh air to think about what Penelope said.

“Spence?” She calls to him from the door, “are you okay? Can I come out here?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, I needed some air, it’s nothing.”

“Do you need a hug? I read it helps the most when people are stressed out,” she plays it off with a shrug.

“So you do have a crush on me?”

“She told you?” Her face lights with fury, “what the fuck, Penelope?”

“She didn’t mean to,” he tries to cover it up. “It was only brought up because I have feelings for you as well.”

Her eyes widen, her brows raise and her mouth slowly opens as she freezes.

“Y/N?”

She blinks a few times and shakes her head, “impossible. There’s no way.”

He laughs, “I’ll take that hug now?”

She lunges for him and wraps her arms around him so tight. Breathing him in, her hands wander his back as she takes in every second if it and he does the same. He can’t believe she’s that close to him, her hair smells nice and she’s so soft in his arms.

It’s quiet outside, they can hear the music behind the door, the people in the ally talking and the crickets in the night. It’s just them outside, holding each other in the smoking section with smiles on their faces, amazed that it’s finally happening.

“Can we keep this between us?” She whispers into his ear. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to go through all the paperwork and have to separate in the field if it doesn’t work out?”

“Wait,” Spencer pulls back. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

She nods, “well yeah isn’t that what happens when two people have a mutual crush? They date?”

“Okay,” he smiles, staring at her lips and then flicking his gaze back to hers with a blush. “I have more than a crush on you, I really, really like you.”

“Prove it,” she teases, “let's go on a real date soon?”

“You know what, let’s get out of here. I have something I want to show you,” he takes her hand and waits for her to nod.

“Take my lead okay? You don’t feel good and you’re going to wait outside while I say goodbye,” she has a plan right away

“After you,” he holds the door open for her and lets her inside first.

—

“I’m taking Spencer home, he’s not doing well,” she’s a much better actress than Spencer expected, patting his back and watching him leave the bar before her like she asked him to do. “He’s really anxious?”

Penelope looks worried, “oh no, I fucked up. I told him you like him.”

She just shrugs, “if he didn’t know that already then I guess he’s not as smart as he pretends to be.”

“See,” Derek looks at Savannah. “I told you everyone else also thinks he’s faking being that smart.”

“Shut up,” she shoves him and turns her attention back to Y/N. “Go make him feel better, he’ll like your company.”

“I’ll see you guys at work on Monday,” she waves them goodbye, surprised they bought it as she rushes her way back outside to Spencer.

He’s already in his car, engine running and waiting for her with a smile. “Come on,” he hurries her inside and is taking off down the road before she even has her seatbelt on yet.

“What’s the rush, Spence? It’s only 1 in the morning I’m sure tones of places are open still?” She teases.

“You’re going to like this, I used to go here all the time when I started with the bureau,” he explains, leaving the main road to take a back root, and eventually they’re driving on gravel.

“If you’re taking me here to murder me this is a dumb way to do it because they all know I left with you,” she teases. “At least when you go to get rid of me, do yourself a favour and dig 6 one-foot holes instead of one 6 foot hole…”

He laughs, “would you really give your murderer tips?”

She nods, “my goal would be to piss him off so much he either lets me go or murders me quickly. I don’t want to go through all the pain.”

“It’s not fun, that’s for sure,” he shrugs it off but she knows it hits too hard.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand out for his to hold by the gear shift. “I think you’re like the strongest guy in the world, you know that, right?”

“Why?” He asks as if that's a preposterous thing to say.

“I think if I got kidnapped and tortured at 24 I wouldn’t still be working in the FBI,” she admits. “I barely made it through the academy, I know this job is intense but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation.”

“If it’s up to me,” Spencer squeezes her hand tighter and brings it to his lips for a kiss. “You’ll never experience anything like that.”

He’s so good at making her feel safe that she almost believes he has the power to do that. He would do anything and everything to move fate for her safety.

He turns down another back road then, around the edge of a lake and towards a clearing. He follows old tire tracks and parks by the dock. “I found this spot one night on a random drive to clear my head.”

“I thought you hated driving?” She quizzes him.

He shrugs, “I like to drive at night when no one else is on the road because then I don’t really have to worry about anyone else. I hate driving because I can’t always anticipate other drivers' movements. If I could read minds, then I’d drive more.”

“Valid,” she nods, “now why is this such a special spot that you needed to show me right away?”

“Well, I have a telescope and it’s been in my trunk for the last 13 years so that every time I come here, I can look up at the moon…”

“You brought me here to look at the moon with you?” She swoons, “that’s so cute.”

“You think?” He looks like his heart is doing the same swelling as hers.

She gets out of the car before she can lean over and kiss him the way she wants to. In his trunk, he does have a telescope, and a blanket, which they set out on the dock and sit upon.

The sound of the lake, the loons in the distance, frogs and crickets and music travelling from somewhere down the lake. The moon was big, the stars were amazing, and this was the closest she has ever seen them. It's amazing, and of course, it was Spencer showing her everything.

He was everything to her.

And it didn’t take long for him to become everything to her either.

Joining the BAU was a dream to many at the academy, but Y/N never thought that she would get the job, overjoyed that she did. They were a family unit; they got the job done, they protected each other, and it was a wonderful environment to be a part of. She obviously liked Spencer the most out of everyone. He took her in, he made her feel comfortable and safe and she opened up more with him than she has with anyone she’s labelled a “best friend” in the past.

She liked everything about him. The way he talked with his hands, how his sweater, vest, shirt and tie always match, his gun looks a little out of place on his belt, like it’s too big for him, but it’s cute. His hair’s been getting longer too, sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes if she’s lucky, he doesn’t shave every day.

She can’t take her eyes off him when he’s busy and won't notice, just to then move her focus away when he stared at her. She only wishes she could see the way he stares at her in awe, because if it’s anything like how she looks at him, he must love her.

She keeps her hand in his, trading the telescope back and forth in turns, her face was close to his every time they switched and she kept getting bolder with each exchange. Letting Spencer look, she kept her face close to his, kissing his cheek softly as soon as he was busy peering up at the moon.

He turned to her with a gasp, “what was that for?”

“You’re cute,” she shrugs. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”

“How long?” He teases, leaning in closer and kissing her nose to make her laugh.

“Since you dropped me off at my house after that first dinner…”

“So this is me,” she nods out the window, “thank you for the ride, I appreciate not having to be in an Uber all by myself.”

“Anytime you need a ride, you can give me a call?” He asks. “Seeing as we’ll be going to the same place anyway.”

She nods with a smile, “I’d love that, do you live close to here?”

“Just up the street,” he nods. “So we could carpool?”

“I can drive some days if you want?” She asks, “I know you mostly take the subway, and I know that because I’ve seen you reading on there before.”

He can’t help but smile, “so you never thought to say hello?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “you looked peaceful, and I’m sure you don’t get many moments like that in your line of work.”

He sighed, knowing she was right. “If it ever gets to be too much for you, please never feel like you have to pretend to be okay? None of us expect you to be stone cold, none of us are either. The job gets to us, just tell me if it gets to be too much?”

She looks from his lips back to his eyes and over again, “thanks, Spencer.”

He does the same to her, “anytime. Should I walk you to your door?”

She shakes her head, “that’s okay you’ve done enough for me tonight.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Have a good night Y/N.”

“You too, Spencer,” she smiles before she exits his car, smiling at him from her porch before he drives away.

“So it’s been mutual this whole time?” He shakes his head at the absurdity. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and then I found you and you make me feel like I don’t need to be alone anymore.”

“You complete me too,” she makes one more comment before connecting their lips.

It’s like the world stops then. It’s silent and serene and everything she thought kissing Spencer Reid would be.

She pulls back with a smirk, “oh no.”

“What?” He worries.

“I’m going to want to kiss you all the time now…”

“Good,” he mumbles the words against her lips before reconnecting them.

—

At work on Monday, it’s very hard for them to look at each other without remembering that they’ve kissed. Spencer’s practically glowing with admiration for her that he gives it all away. He’s overly happy, offering to do things for others, standing way too close to her and bringing her coffee all morning.

“Okay, pretty boy,” Derek takes him by the scruff of the neck and redirects him into his office. “What’s going on with you today, I know you’re not this happy for JJ’s return?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you get laid or something?”

Spencer laughs, “no, you know I don’t get laid. You actually remind me of that fact quite often.”

“You’re so happy I’m worried you’ve moved to crack,” he says it. “Okay, you were acting weird on Friday, you missed brunch on Sunday and now you’re waaay too happy.”

“I’m not on drugs again,” Spencer assures him. “I’m just letting myself enjoy my time with Y/N, if she falls in love with me in the meantime that would also be nice.”

“Oh, so you’re doing this to get laid,” Derek teases him again. “That’s good, I’m sorry if I triggered you by asking, but I had to make sure you’re okay.”

“No, no,” he places his hands on Derek's shoulders, “thank you for caring.”

“Always—“

“Guys!” They hear Hotch yelling from the bullpen, cutting the tender moment short, saving Spencer from spilling the truth.

Rushing back, he sits beside Y/N at the briefing room table. “We have a bad one,” Emily Prentiss of all people walks in the door, followed by Elle Greenaway.

“We’ll have time to mingle in a minute, right now there is a woman who needs our help,” he announces.

Spencer quickly reads over the case files, recognizing Elles handwritten notes, she was a private investigator now. “With Penelope’s help, I’ve been able to set up alerts in College chatrooms in the area so that I can help to missing and assaulted women right away.”

“She’s alerted when someone reports a missing woman and she has advertisements for people to reach out to her for help,” Penelope explained.

“I’ve been working on these cases for the last 9 years,” Elle announces. “This morning Aasia Desai called me saying her sister Bahni never showed up for lunch and it’s not like her, we know she went clubbing last night and so far Penelope’s tracked her down an ally and then she’s gone.”

“Her parents are British diplomats so Interpol has asked me to join, luckily I was just in Ontario so it was a short trip over,” Emily adds. “JJ will be here in half an hour for her first day back, and we will celebrate when we can, but I see we have some new faces here?”

“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N,” she waves, still glued to Spencer’s side. “I’ve heard a lot about you both from Doctor Reid.”

“Doctor Tara Lewis,” she stands and shakes Emily’s hand, and then Elles.

“So it says here that the first missing case was in 2006 just after you left the BAU?” Spencer changes the subject before anyone can pry into why he would be telling her about the women who worked there before her.

“I did,” Elle nods. “I was too late for her, by the time her parents realized she was missing and called me in the case was cold. I started this as a way to get ahead of it.”

“How long has she been missing?” Tara asks.

“She was last seen at 1:07 this morning,” Elle confirms. “We have 25 hours, maybe, to beat the odds.”

“Reid,” Hotch cuts in, “I would like you and Elle to go check out the street she was last seen on, find any private cameras or anyone who might have seen something.”

He turns to Y/N who just shrugs in silence; “it’s fine.”

“Tara and Derek, I’d like you to interview Aasia when she and JJ get here, Garcia can you do a deep dive into Bahni’s spending and academic records?”

“Sure thing,” she starts clicking away on her computer immediately.

“And Y/N,” Elle looks at her. “I need you to go over the footage of the man who followed her to the alley and get familiar with his face. We’re using you as the face of the investigation to hopefully draw the unsub out.”

“How would she be able to do that alone?” Spencer gets defensive, a way he used to with JJ when she was the media liaison.

“If she goes on the news and makes Bahni seem like a person while describing the unsub as someone who can help solve the case, it will draw him out,” Emily explains for Hotch, who is glaring at Spencer for second-guessing the plan already.

“And she’s college-age,” Elle adds. “If that’s who he’s been going after all this time he will want to come in and talk IF he can talk to her.”

She places her hand on his leg under the table, “it’s a good plan.”

“It is,” Hotch agrees.

“What do you not have a saying to replace wheels up when they stay in town?” Elle teases him.

“Wheels away?” Emily joins her, “that works?”

“just get to work,” Hotch tries not to smirk at them.

Spencer stands up to leave with Elle, “can I just talk to Spencer before he leaves?” She carefully asks Hotch.

“Make it quick,” he agrees reluctantly and lets her follow him down to his desk.

Spencer rests his hands on the back of his desk chair, holding it tightly in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I’m going to be fine,” she assures him. “I don’t think the guy on the tape took her, we’d see him leave if he did.”

“Unless he lives in the alley,” Spencer combats. “Can you ask Penelope to do a background check on all the cars coming in and out of the campus and that street between midnight at 2 am?”

She nods, placing her hand on his gently. “Good luck out there, okay?”

He nods, “it’s been 2 days they’re going to know by the end of the week.”

She laughs, “so be it.”

He says fuck it right then and there, wrapping her up in a hug and kissing the top of her head as the team watches in the briefing room. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes you will,” she smacks his side as he lets her go. “If you’re going to make a scene at least give me a real kiss.”

“Hmm,” he teases. “No cause then I’d have to sign some paperwork and I’ve got to go…” he starts to back away.

“Coward,” she teases.

He just shrugs, meeting Elle by the door and heading towards the elevators in silence.

She doesn’t ask, not even when they get to the garage or inside the SUV. They’re driving down the road for maybe 2 minutes when Elle finally brings it up. “So—”

“What do you want to know?”

“It's that easy now? What happened to you?” She teases. “You’re so different from the baby Spence I left.”

“Well you missed my drug problem, my dad being a possible child molester, getting shot in the knee, getting shot in the neck, my girlfriend dying, and now my mom might have Alzheimer's so you know… I had to grow up a bit,” he lays it all out for her to ask any question she wants.

“Why don’t you ever call me? I would have been there for you through anything,” she reminds him.

“I know that,” he reaches over for her hand, “thank you. But I was a big fan of suffering in silence… and now I have Y/N and she makes me feel normal?”

“That’s good, you deserve some fraction of normal in your life and she’s really cute,” Elle smiles back at him before returning her focus to the road. “How old is she?”

“27,” he smiles. “She’s the best.”

“You love her,” Elle notices it.

He presses his lips together to fend off a smile as he nods, “I think I do.”

“Tell her, you deserve to hear that someone loves you back.”

—

She’s anxiously tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator to arrive with the suspect, Rossi standing just behind her. Only 15 minutes after being on the news, the man that was in the security footage contacted them. Making his way over for a voluntary interview.

He looks Y/N up and down with a smile, “I heard you were looking for me.”

“I sure was,” she plays along with it, smiling and making him think she’s interested as well. “I knew you’d get the message, we just need all the help we can get right now.”

“Of course,” he has his ego stroked so well that they can roll with it.

“Would you mind coming with me and Agent Rossi to talk about everything you saw?” She batts her lashes at him, really selling it.

“Sure,” he follows them down the hall.

Rossi opens the door and lets them in first, letting her get him settled and a glass of water. “So you can tell me everything from that night?”

“Sure,” he nods, explaining his taxi job, his run for the night and his alibi.

“So why did you step back into the doorway?” She asks as she sits in front of him. Straight-faced as she catches him off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You stepped out of the way to let her pass and then followed her, she made no motion to say she wanted your services, so I’m just wondering why you would follow her before she disappeared?”

“Huh,” he suddenly feels played and his personality switches. “I thought this was just a chat?”

“I’m simply asking you questions? If you don’t have answers that makes you suspicious. An innocent person would have given me an answer,” she fights back.

“She’s right, you got very defensive very fast,” Rossi finally speaks up.

He shakes his head with a huff. “I was going to ask if she needed a ride, she looked pretty messed up. And then some guy came over and wrapped his arm around her and they walked off. They seemed to know one another. I thought she was safe in his hands.”

Only his tone doesn’t match the words. He sounds jealous— It’s not like she would have been a large tab, he wasn’t jealous because he lost a customer. No, he’s jealous like someone stepped in and prevented him from snatching an easy victim.

“Fair enough,” she pretends to believe him. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“I can go now?” He changes right back to confused.

She nods, “I’ll escort you down if you’d like?”

“Thanks,” he stands and follows her to the door where Rossi stops her.

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I’ll be back up shortly.”

She catches up with him by the elevators, “did you have to drive far to get here?” She makes small talk.

“Not really,” he shakes it off. “I like your necklace.”

She touches her necklace and her face drops, “thanks.”

“Necklaces are my favourite.”

“You don’t wear any?” She notices in the form of a question.

He shakes his head as the elevator opens at the ground level. “I think they’re nice gifts.”

She nods along, pretending that didn’t set off every ret alert and alarm in her mind, “well here you are. Thanks again for all the help.”

“No problem,” he goes to leave, turning to stop and block the doors from closing. “If you want, later tonight I can show you everything I saw at the alley?”

“Yeah, sure,” she agrees with no plan to go.

“8 pm? At Cafe Linda?”

“See you then,” she agrees and he steps back letting the door close and then she loses her cool.

Feverishly smashing the floor 6 button, and begging to make it back up to Hotch to tell him everything. But she also just wants to cry but she holds it in as she makes it to their floor matching past Rossi and right into the briefing room.

“He may not be our unsub but that man is a creep,” she announces. “He not only complimented my necklace but he asked me to come to the alley tonight so he can walk me through what he saw.”

“You’re not going,” Hotch announces.

“I didn’t plan to,” she snaps. “I think we need to look into him because he’s either giving little girls necklaces to keep them quiet or he’s taking necklaces after he kills women.”

“Kathy’s parents said she was in a necklace when she went missing,” Emily adds. “His connection to this case and being at NYU right before she went missing gives us enough probable cause for a search warrant.”

Hotch sighs, “fine. I’ll call a judge, you and Y/N can go and search his place.”

“So shouldn’t we arrest him before he leaves the building?” Morgan asks.

“He’s still in the garage, I’ve let the security know to stop him and arrest him at the gate,” Garcia adds, listening in and planning in advance.

“Thank you,” Hotch smiles at her, “you’re always reading my mind.”

Garcia smiles back at him, “always, sir.”

“Okay, let’s go,” she looks at Emily and waiting for her to turn to leave the room.

“Let’s,” she motions for Y/N to take the lead and follows.

The drive to his house is so weird… she doesn’t quite know how to talk to Emily, knowing only slightly about her and her knowing nothing about Y/N.

“So how long have you and Spencer been dating?” Her first question just gets right to the point.

She laughs awkwardly, “3 days…”

“Oh…”

She hums as she nods along, looking out the window and avoiding Emily’s eye contact. “It’s new, we’re both pretty infatuated with each other but we’re taking it slower than most people because I’m afraid to let my feelings change how I do the job.”

“Makes sense,” Emily replies. Her voice is so sweet, she has an aura of calm that follows her and lets Y/N feel safe. She gets why Spencer said she was his best friend on the team before her.

“The necklace comment… why did it make you so wary of this guy?”

“When I was in middle school a guy gave me a necklace while he was grooming me,” she whispers. Looking out the window and pretending it doesn’t bother her now. “It’s fine, I don’t have it anymore, but I knew this guy had that same vibe.”

Emily put her hand out, letting Y/N interlock their fingers and hold it. “I know I just met you, but you’re family now. I’m here if you’re ever suddenly not fine with it anymore…”

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Let’s get this fucker.”

—

By the time the warrant went through, Spencer and Elle had joined them to search the first suspect's house while Emily left to help the rest of the team with suspect two. Tracking all the license plates in the area like Spencer suggested lead them to a Chinese food delivery driver in the area.

That didn’t stop Y/N from destroying her suspect's house. They tore the house apart, searching every nook and cranny for any answer that would make sense. She was tempted to lift the floorboards up, call in SCSI to run ground-penetrating radar and search the fucking walls if they had to.

But then she found it.

A small metal box in the laundry room contained some tools and when she lifted up the fake bottom, she found 5 necklaces.

“Elle!!” She yelled through the house.

They both came running down the hall to her, “is this Kathy’s necklace?”

“Oh my god,” she whispered with a nod.

“I want to kill this guy,” she mumbles under her breath as she places the necklaces back in the box and closes it up.

“Spencer doesn’t need another girl he has a crush on to murder someone and get kicked out of the bureau,” Elle teases.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“Way to go,” Spencer nudges her.

Y/N stands up with the box and slides it into a large evidence bag before taping it up. “I guess he has a type then.”

“I don’t,” Spencer tries to cover up. “I mean, if I do then it’s people who are nice to me…”

She smiles at him, unable to even pretend to be jealous or mad. “It’s hard to be mean to you when you’re so cute.”

“Ew,” Elle announces her disgust as she leaves the room.

“Let’s get out of here before I end up kissing you in a murderer's laundry room,” Spencer teases, taking her hand and leading her out of the house as the rest of the forensics team takes over the bagging of evidence.

“Guys,” Elle rushes back to them with her phone pressed to her ear. “We have a bigger problem than we thought with Bahni.”

They rush into the SUV, putting the team on the speaker to hear the most unthinkable. “So I did what Y/N suggested and searched every single driver coming in and off-campus and the last street she was seen on,” Penelope explains back. “And I came across a man who was delivering Chinese food under the name Tom Larson… and it’s ironic his name is tom because he has a plethora of peeping offences and general creepiness alongside a metric shit-ton of abuse from his dad and dead mother.”

“Okay?” Elle follows.

“Tom Larson lives near Bahni,” Emily explains, “I was just at his house where I found him and his father had been murdered.”

“So we have not 1 but 3 creeps in this case, and none of them are who took Bahni?” Spencer rubs his eyes. “Please tell me we know who was in Tom’s car last night.”

“That’s where it gets tricky,” Penelope says with the doles tones of keys clicking behind her words. “We were just contacted by the fugitive Taskforce because they believe one of the murderers they’ve been tracking took Bahni… but he has ties to a much larger scale global sex trafficking ring.”

Elle flies through the streets with their lights on, pulling back into headquarters and right up to the security check. “So who is this guy?”

“Once you get back up here, Agent Simmons and Alvez will explain everything,” Hotch confirms. “I’m taking Derek to see Cruze, we need to tell him what’s going on.”

“Sounds good,” Elle hangs up and throws the SUV in park.

Y/N hesitates, staying put and taking a few breaths as Spencer watches. Elle’s left the car and is already on her way to the elevator. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I just have a hug real quick?”

“Yeah,” he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “Are you okay?”

She nods against him, “yeah it’s just good to have at least 8 hugs a day.”

“Hug me whenever you need to,” he whispers against her hair, kissing the side of her head before she pulls back.

“Kisses are helpful too?”

He smiles, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, mumbling against them, “how many?”

She hums, “10?”

He pecks her lips 10 times and counts each one, making her giggle, it takes so much effort to hold her smile back to keep kissing him but she feels much better.

“Thank you,” she beams and she can swear Spencer's eyes sparkle as he smiles back.

She pulls him into another hug, “I hate that we have to go catch a killer right now.”

“Come on then, as soon as we get him we can go on another date somewhere?”

She shakes her head, “after this case I think we should take a nap together… I’m exhausted and I don’t want to let you go.”

Spencer shakes his head in amazement, “you really like me?”

“Yeah, maybe I do,” she teases him. “You should get used to it because it’s only going to get more intense and I will smother you with love.”

He just shrugs, “it’s about time—“

They’re startled with a knock on the window, “we get it you’re in love, can we go now?”

“Sorry!” Y/N calls back with a giggle, pulling him in for one last kiss before getting out. Spencer follows with a deep blush that everyone will see when they get back upstairs, but it looks cute on him.

Luke Alvez has been trying to catch one criminal for the last 2 years. Simon Garrett has been a pain in the ass for the FBI, the CIA and DEA. He first showed up on their radar when his DNA was found on 14 women’s remains, all of who had been missing for at least 5 years.

His DNA was then traced to his son in the foster system, who’s been off the radar for the last 10 years. Everette Garrett.

“Now he’s interesting because I’ve been investigating his sex trafficking ring between Canada and the United States,” Matt adds. “All 14 women his father's DNA was found on were thought to be in his ring, which means when they get too old he hands them to his father to take care of.”

Y/N shakes her head as she listens, “so if you’ve been looking for them for this long what makes you think we can find them in time to save Bahni?”

“We’ve been tracking him for a while, we knew that he had a new girl on his radar and when we heard it was Bahni Desai we knew it was time to get you guys,” Matt explains.

“So far we know that she has to be taken to this warehouse in Alexandria before she goes any further, we’re going to intercept them before they make it to the warehouse and then use their car to gain access to take the whole thing down,” Luke rolls out a map of the facility then.

“We need to have the place surrounded for any runners, SWAT is getting prepped, we’re going tonight at 3 am,” Matt adds. “Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, Alvez and Myself will be running a team at each of the 5 exits. Once inside, each team's swat unit will deploy gas to carefully knock everyone out, from there we need someone to cuff everyone at least until we know who is a victim and who is working there.”

“We’re taking everyone alive?” Spencer makes sure he hears them right.

“We need to know what the step after this warehouse is if we want to rescue more victims,” Luke’s voice is gentle yet stern as he explains. “I’ve seen this man take too many women from good homes and ruin their lives, I’m not letting him slip out of my fingers.”

“We’ve had this planned for months, we just needed to wait for the next confirmed drop-off.”

“Who’s driving?” Y/N asks, having a feeling it was her and Spencer.

“He’s Reids age,” Hotch announces from the door as he walks in with Cruze, “so we’ll replace Everette with Reid and Bahni with Y/L/N.”

“Rossi and Elle will be there to apprehend Everette, we’re setting up a fake traffic spot to irritate him and inhibit him from running. You two will be in a duplicate car arriving at the warehouse at the arranged time,” Emily confirms. “We just have to prep SWAT and then we can leave.”

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

—

Pretending to be kidnapped in the back of a car driven by her boyfriend was possibly the weirdest way to spend a Tuesday morning. Driving the exact make and model as their unsub, her heartbeat was loud enough to cover the sound of the engine and distract her from the long drive. She was overly anxious, and rightly so, it was her first sting.

And she was doing it all without coffee. Tired but full of adrenaline, she wanted to close her eyes and drift off but she knew she needed to be ready to apprehend the men at the gate with Spencer.

She feels the large bump, indicating they just went over a speed bump and she knows what that means. The car slows and she can hear the muffled talking before swat steps in, soon enough Spencer is cracking the trunk open and reaching in for her.

“Are you okay?” He helps her to her feet and makes sure her bulletproof vest is on right before handing her, her gun and watching her clip it on.

“Yeah, what happened?”

“The guards are down, Swat moved in as soon as we arrived, now we have to stand here and wait for them to clear the building,” Spencer explains as they walk to the front of her car.

She draws her gun and keeps it pointed low, guarded as they watch the front entrance for anyone to escape. “Do you know if Bahni is okay?” She whispers towards him.

He nods, “they radioed in that they got her, she’s being airlifted to the hospital with JJ right now.”

She nods with a deep breath, “okay good.”

“It’s going to be fine, we have enough SWAT here to take the government,” he tries to joke, getting a laugh from one of the officers… very strange to see someone laugh while holding an assault rifle.

One of the swat side steps towards Spencer, “I’m hearing on the line that they’ve cleared every room. They’re cuffing everyone, you’re free to enter.”

“Thanks,” Spencer replies.

The high-pitched screech rubber gripping asphalt in an attempt to stop draws their attention backwards. Elle and Rossi jumping out with their guns drawn, ready to join even though the exciting part is long over.

“No runners?” Elle asks, holstering her weapon. “Aw man, I was excited.”

“Not a one,” Y/N adds, watching the front entrance for the rest of the team to start funnelling out with the unsubs.

Luke exits first with a big smile on his face, Simon Garrett cuffed and barely stumbling out the door in front of him. He finally got him.

“well done,” Elle congratulates him. “Let me help you get him in SWAT van.”

“I think she has a thing for Luke,” Rossi leans into Y/N to gossip. “she wouldn’t stop asking about him on the drive…”

“Ooo,” Y/N teases, getting more and more tired as her adrenaline drops. Her eyes are heavy and Rossi can tell.

“Why don’t I bring you and the good doctor home, I don’t think they need all of us for the wrap-up,” Rossi pats her back. “You’ve had a long night, kid.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, holstering her gun and turning with him towards the SUV. “I’m so exhausted.”

“Well you’ve been on the job for almost 24 hours now, you’ve officially made it through your first overnight sting op,” Rossi congratulates her like he’s her grandpa.

She turns back when she doesn’t hear Spencer following her, “Spence? Are you coming?”

“Um,” he has something to ask as he follows then but he doesn’t say it. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, come sit with me in the back?” She asks, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder as soon as their seatbelts are on.

“Did you still want to have a nap together?” He whispers, feeling her nod against his shoulder before she pulls back.

“Come here,” she tugs him in against her chest, snuggling in as best as she could in their sitting position. Holding him close and feeling him drift off in her arms. She has no problem following suit.

When she wakes, Rossi is parked outside of her apartment, “here you go, Y/N.”

She hums as she comes to, shaking Spencer awake too, “Spence, come on, let’s get to bed.”

“He’s going with you?”

She nods, “don’t tell Penelope. She’ll have a field day, I just want a nap.”

“You better get more than a nap,” Rossi orders. “You guys need to actually rest before you come back to work on Wednesday.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she teases him. “We will.”

“Bye Dave,” Spencer whispers as he gets out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Anytime kid,” Rossi waves them off, waiting for them to enter the building before driving away.

“Finally,” she sighs, dragging Spencer down the hall and towards her apartment. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“me too,” he barely says.

He follows her inside like a lost puppy, taking off his vest and shirt, slipping out of his pants until he’s in an undershirt, boxers and his mismatched socks. She’s amazed by how comfortable he is with her, but she has known him for 3 months, it’s enough time to fall in love with someone… right?

She’s loved him since she started working with him. When she realized he valued her opinions, he looked at her as a person and he genuinely loved her company. She felt a real connection with him, not just childish infatuation. He was everything to her.

She slides into bed beside him and snuggles in, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting her head on his chest.

“I guess I really can do everything,” she smirks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She pokes his chest and giggles away the awkwardness, “the thing I wanted to do most, the thing that I couldn’t do… that was to fall in love with you, but I did it anyway.”

“Well, then I guess I can do everything too.”

She pulls away to look at him, “I love you, Spencer. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but I��ve loved you for a while.”

He pulls her in for a kiss, shocking her as he breathes her in and holds her there. “I love you, more Y/N.”

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

An Ocean Away - Harry Styles

Sequel to Tastes Like Strawberries 🍓 !

a/n: ahhh! thank you so much for the love you showed TLS! i already had more planned for the story, but all your comments motivated me to do this part 2! it’s an emotional one so brace yourselves! further in the chapter i placed the song that inspired the title and i listened to it while writing so i suggest you do the same!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 12.7k

masterlist

You walk down the familiar hallway texting back Eden that you are not spending the night at home again.

Eden: You really need to tell me about the dick that keeps you so busy these days.

Y/N: I never said a thing about any dick.

Eden: Oh please, you surely got yourself a rebound after Harry, you can’t tell me otherwise.

Y/N: Don’t you get a rebound when you broke up with someone? I was never together with Harry, so it doesn’t make sense.

Eden: You had a thing!! Okay, whatever. Keep your little secrets, I guess it’s fine…

Y/N: Love you!

Chuckling to yourself you put the phone away and stop at the door you know all too well, knocking two times before you open it and poke your head inside.

Harry is sitting at his desk, his reading glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he is vigorously scribbling something down into his notebook. He lifts his head at your arrival and you shut the door closed behind you.

“Hello, professor,” you smile at him teasingly, walking around his desk as he pushes himself back a little so you can sit on his lap, pecking his lips gently.

“Hey, done for the day?” he asks, his fingers tenderly stroking your thighs over the fabric of your jeans.

“Yeah. We can leave if you’re done,” you nod.

“Just a few more minutes, alright?”

“Sure,” you nod, standing up from his lap so he can finish his work while you sit on the little loveseat he has in the corner, right under the window.

It’s been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, the new semester has officially started, you’re working your way towards your degree as this is officially your last semester, but what’s more important that you and Harry have been a couple for six weeks following the heated actions of New Year’s Eve.

Harry is still quite anxious about the whole thing, always on high alert and he even asked you to lie to Eden and Nat too. You tried to fight him on that, but you could tell how much he wanted to protect what you had so you decided to feed them this elaborate story about how you and Harry had a fight on New Year’s Eve and realized that it would have never worked out so you agreed to stay just friends. It seems like they believed, because they’ve been keen on trying to set you up with someone while you just keep dodging their attempts, sneaking around with Harry behind their back.

Other than the continuous lying and sneaking around, things have been going well with him. You’ve been spending a lot of time at his place, the only hiding spot where you can be carefree around each other without always watching out for others around you.

Today is Valentine’s day and though your opportunities to celebrate are very slim, having anything that’s slightly public crossed out of the list, that still doesn’t stop the two of you from having a good night in.

You watch him curiously as he is reading the lines of someone’s essay probably, or some test, whatever. Holding the pen ready to use whenever he finds something incorrect, he furrows his eyebrows at something before crossing out a line, mouthing the words he writes to the side of the page. He doesn’t wear his glasses that often, but he’s been complaining about having dry eyes these past days so it’s no surprised he switched to them from his contact lenses.

“You look sexy in your glasses, have I told you that?”

He glances at you, a small smirk tugging on his lips before he returns to the paper in front of him.

“Think they make me look older,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nah, not more at least than your grandpa sweaters,” you tease him, earning a ‘Really? This again?’ look from him that makes you chuckle.

You busy yourself while Harry finishes his work and then you head out together, strictly keeping the distance between each other. Walking out of the building Harry heads to the left where the car park is while you take a turn to the right. It’s been your usual, since you can’t have anyone see you get into Harry’s car so casually, so you usually walk down to the small café near Building D, because there’s a very narrow little street running behind it where you can get into the car without anyone noticing you. You do the same now too before finally heading back to Harry’s place. Sinking into the comfortable seat, you stare out the window, thinking about how it’s just been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, but it feels like you’ve been together with Harry for months. Despite his many doubts and hesitant act, it was easy to fall into a kind of routine with him, and even more easier to get used to the thought that he is yours and you are his.

During these six weeks you’ve learned quite a few things about him, things women on campus would die to know and they were handed over to you on a silver plate by Harry himself.

One, he is a very touchy person, of course, when he has the chance for it. In the safety of his home or when you have a few minutes for yourselves in his office, he always likes to have his hand on your back or waist, he loves touching your hips or cheeks, caressing the skin wherever it shows from under your clothes. He is also very cuddly, likes to wrap you in his arms when you’re watching TV and when it’s time to sleep the first thing he does is to pull you into his embrace. You usually wake up in the morning with him completely wrapped around you, limbs thrown over you, face buried into your chest or stomach. He is a messy sleeper, but also a fucking adorable one.

Two, he is a good cook but not that good at baking. He says it’s the universe’s sign that he shouldn’t eat as much sweet stuff as he does, but in reality he just sucks at measuring the ingredients. He never follows the recipe, easily goes with things his own way and then he is surprised when it doesn’t turn out as it should.

Three, he notices the smallest things you’d never. Like how you hate it when the Sun is shining right into your face so he always makes sure to draw the blinds in the evening, or that you prefer sleeping with more pillows so he just simply gives you an extra without even asking every time you’re spending the night. He cares so much about you to the smallest details, it always makes your heart flutter.

And four, though he keeps a tough act in school, he is a lovesick puppy when no one is around, likes to be the small spoon when cuddling, absolutely adores it when you cup his face in your palms and kiss it all over. Loves it when you play with his hair or when you hug him from behind, kissing between his shoulder blades. He always tells you how pretty you are and never misses a chance to sneak a kiss from you. You couldn’t imagine him do any of these before you really knew him, but now you see that all these little things are just as much parts of him like the version of him he shows at school. You feel lucky to be able to see him like this and you’ll probably never get bored of it.

Arriving to his place you drop your bag off at the bedroom before you join him in the kitchen, already eyeing the flyer to the nearby Italian place that delivers.

“How about pizza?” he hums, eyebrows knitted together as he scans the menu.

“Sounds good. Can we order dessert too?” Walking past him you kiss his shoulder before grabbing a glass for yourself, filling it with tap water.

“Oh, no need,” he shyly answers, glancing at you. “We… have dessert.”

You watch him with curious eyes as he disappears in his little study before emerging with a plate filled with pink cupcakes. They look wobbly, the cream on top is not the same on either of them, but because you know he made them, they are the most perfect you’ve ever seen.

He places the plate to the counter with a shy smile before turning to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, hands finding your hips as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Oh baby, did you stay up last night to make these?” you ask, touched that he took the time and energy to surprise you with something. Harry nods and you kiss his dimples softly.

“Mm, they are strawberry flavored,” he smirks boyishly.

“We are never escaping strawberries,” you chuckle softly as you dip your fingertip into the cream on top of one of the cakes, tasting it. “Hmm, this is actually good,” you tell him.

“Yeah, the cream is kind of okay, dunno about the rest though,” he admits chuckling.

“As long as it’s not poisonous, I’ll love it,” you giggle kissing his lips again softly. “Alright, but I can’t go over the fact that we agreed on no gifts for Valentine’s Day,” you say giving him a look.

“S’not a gift, just… a little gesture,” he shrugs innocently.

“Okay, then you can’t get mad over my little gesture,” you smirk at him, peeling his arms off you before you run into his bedroom to get his gift.

You really weren’t planning to give him anything, but you had a good idea last minute and couldn’t just not do it. Digging into your bag you pull out the little box and join him in the kitchen again, handing it to him.

“It’s not fair if you spent money on it,” he pouts, but you just roll your eyes.

“You spent money on the cupcakes too. But besides, I didn’t spent a penny on it. Open it!” You urge him.

Harry huffs but takes the lid off, revealing a stack of Polaroid photos. In this not too ideal situation the two of you are living in, there’s no chance you can ever post anything about him, even though there are quite a few cute photos of you with Harry. Eden recently bought a Polaroid printer and you borrowed it to print your favorite pictures of the two of you. There’s one from the morning after New Year’s Eve, just a silly selfie you took in bed, then one with the band from Harry’s birthday recently, a photo of the two of you backstage of one of his gigs you took in the mirror, he has his guitar in his hands as you stand next to him smiling widely. There are a few more with Sarah, Mitch, Charlotte and Adam and at the very end of the stack… some special ones.

You watch him go through them smiling warmly until he reaches the last few and freezes. You took the courage to take a few spicy ones of yourself in your favorite lingerie and thought it would be sexy to print them out as well and give them to him.

“I hope you’re not thinking about selling them already,” you chuckle. Harry glances up at you before shaking his head with a playful smirk.

“Was just a little surprised by them,” he admits.

“Do you… like them?”

“Oh baby, I love them, you look… wow,” he breathes out going over the pictures one more time. “But I’m gonna have to lock these away so no one finds them. Adam likes to go over my stuff when he is over, I definitely don’t want him to find them.”

“You better keep them safe because if anyone sees them I’m burying myself,” you snort.

Harry puts the stack of photos back into the box before leaning down he cups your face and kisses you gently.

“Thank you, love the pictures. All of them,” he adds cheekily and you feel yourself blushing.

He leans in to kiss you again, putting the box aside to the counter and this time it’s not just one short kiss, he carries it on, taking his time with your lips, savoring and tasting you without a worry in the world. It grows more and more passionate, tongues clashing and you tug at his hair, lacing your fingers through his locks, a moan escaping his pink lips.

You start inching backwards until your backside meets the edge of the counter. Harry doesn’t hesitate to pull your sweater off of you, throwing it behind before his lips are pressed against yours again. It doesn’t take long for his shirt and pants and your jeans to end up on the floor somewhere behind him, leaving you both in just your underwear. You kiss down his neck and collarbones, your lips gliding across his tattooed chest as you slowly slide down to your knees, hands moving over his growing bulge.

Hooking your fingers into the elastic of his boxers, you tug them down and pull his erection out, already so hard for you and you barely even touched him.

“What does my Valentine deserve for making me cupcakes?” you hum, teasingly pumping him a few times with your hands. Harry whimpers under your touch, but doesn’t answer so you stop your hands and look up at him. “Talk to me, what do you want?”

“Your mouth,” he breathes out, his eyes meeting yours, filled with lust and hunger only for you. Smirking to yourself you lick his length up before gently kissing the head, swirling your tongue around the tip before you slowly take him into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, baby!” he pants when you start bobbing your head, pumping the base in sync with your head’s movements.

His hand comes to the back of your head, fingers lacing through your hair. He doesn’t force you, he never does, just likes to hold onto you. You try to take him deeper and deeper with each movement until you fit his whole cock into your mouth, keeping it there for a few seconds before pulling away and letting him go.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbles, helping you up from the floor, kissing your lips hard as he is already pulling your panties down your legs. “How do you want it?”

“From behind,” you tell without hesitation, turning around so you can lean onto the counter and push your ass up for him.

You feel one of his hands stroke down your spine while the other one reaches between your legs, his fingers finding your clit, drawing gentle circles on it at first before he goes a little harder, making you moan his name.

“Harry, please!” you beg, the need to feel him growing with each passing second.

He pulls his hand back, grabbing his hard cock as he lines himself up with you, one hand on his shaft, the other one holding your hip firmly to keep you in place. First he pushes just the tip inside and when he is sure you’re ready to take more, he slides all of him inside, filling you up perfectly.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good. Always so good,” he breathes out, both his hands coming to grip your waist as his hips meet your ass from behind.

He starts moving, going a little soft at the beginning before he gets rougher, his hips smacking against your ass with each thrust. You arch your back and push your ass up so you’re angled just perfectly for him, he runs a hand up your back, sliding it under the clasp of your bra and he leaves it there while fucking you from behind oh so well.

“Harry, oh my God!” you groan when he starts hitting that one spot that makes you go crazy.

“Feeling good, baby?”

“Fuck! So good!” you gasp, feeling the pleasure building up with each thrust. “Go harder!” you beg and once he has both hands on your hips again he does as you asked, railing into you hard, making you keep gasping for air.

“Getting close? Tell me when you’re about to cum, baby.”

“I’m close, please don’t stop!” you pant, hands holding onto the counter’s edge for dear life.

He reaches around you, a hand coming between your legs as his fingers find your clit again, adding to the sensation as he starts playing with it just the way you like it.

“Fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum! Harry!” you moan uncontrollably and he growls deeply from his chest.

“Cum with me, baby. Give it to me,” he breathes out sharply and he just keeps railing you hard, fingers working on your clit until he feels your walls clench around his dick. “Oh fuck, yes, baby! Cum on my cock!” he gasps and at the same time as you go through your orgasm, you feel him twitch inside you, coming hard with you at the same time. “Jesus fuck! I love you, Y/N!”

You gasp at his words, eyes snapping open in the middle of your orgasm and all air pushes out of your lungs for a moment.

He whimpers and moans, thrusting into you a few more times before he comes to a halt, both of you panting like crazy, coming off your high. When he slowly slides his softening cock out of you, you turn around and look into his eyes. For a moment you thought he just said it in the heat of the moment and he didn’t even realize it, but when your eyes meet his, you can tell he is a little afraid of what your reaction is going to be.

“Did you mean that?” you quietly ask as he tucks his dick back into his boxers, pulling them up, but you don’t bother to put your underwear back on, standing there in only your bra.

“I-I did. I didn’t mean to say it now, but I did mean it,” he nods. “Is it… too soon?”

“No,” you smile at him, stepping closer so you can cup his face in your palms, kissing his lips softly. “I love you too.”

“You do?” he asks, surprised at your reaction.

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t give my nudes to someone I don’t,” you joke making him chuckle, his arms coming to curl around your waist.

“Sorry, this wasn’t too… romantic,” he breathes out and you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You said you love me while fucking me on Valentine’s Day after exchanging cute gifts. I think it’s romantic,” you chuckle, finally making him smile. “Besides, I don’t care about the setting, just feels nice to hear you say it.”

“Yeah?” “Mhm, care to say it again so I can see your eyes as well?”

“I love you,” he softly murmurs, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah, feels better when I can actually look at you,” you chuckle kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

It’s definitely not just fun and games, being in a secret relationship that no one can know about. It surely adds a lot of tension into the situation, having to be so careful all the time and be reserved to the point where you can’t even be seen too often together.

As the semester carries on you always keep your ears open if there’s anything going on about you and Harry. Though you only limit your time together on campus to the bare minimum, only talking on rare occasions, you still want to make sure no one is getting the wrong (or right) idea about what is going on between the two of you.

The worst part is probably having to lie to Eden and Nat all the time. You spend about three nights at Harry’s every week and you have to lie every time you leave. After a while you tell them that you’re dating this new guy but he wants to keep it low-key because he recently broke up with his previous girlfriend. That gives them enough peace not to nag you all the time but you can tell they really want to meet this new man in your life.

You’ve tried to discuss it with Harry, tell him that they won’t tell anyone but it ended in a fight and you kind of gave up. Harry is way too keen on keeping it a secret and it’s clear he is not gonna make any exceptions. At least it’s the same with his friends, the two of you act like just friends when you’re out with the band though you have a suspicion that Sarah can see through the act. However she chooses not to talk about it so it’s kept hidden.

You don’t fight much with Harry, but when you do, it’s major. You both can get really into the argument and it easily gets way too heated, turning into a screaming match until you both realize you should just talk it out and have a little more understanding for each other. The makeup sex after a fight however… that’s something that makes up for every nasty thing that’s said in the heat of the moment.

Nearing the end of the semester you both start to grow more stressed, you about finishing your last classes, your thesis and studying for your finals, Harry about the growing pile of essays and tests waiting to be graded. A lot of the time when you’re at his place you both are busy with your own stuff and only have the chance to actually be with each other when you go to bed. It takes a toll on the both of you, but you’re determined to make it work. Despite the unfortunate nature of how you are forced to maintain your relationship, it’s the healthiest one you’ve ever head and you definitely won’t give up on it too easily.

Though you, Nat and Eden turn in your thesis works mid-April, the semester is still not done for the three of you, the final exams are threateningly close at this point. Spring has officially kicked in, the weather is mostly clear and sunny, allows you to stay outside again and you take advantage of it.

One particular afternoon the three of you are lounging under the pergola, all three of you buried in a book or your notes when you spot Harry walking towards the building. You keep your eyes on him as he slowly approaches you, his gaze meets yours and he smiles at you shortly. It’s all you can get out in the public, but it’s more than nothing.

“Isn’t it hard to see him?” Eden asks and glancing her way you see that she is looking at Harry who is now busy with his phone.

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know, you clearly had a thing for him and it wasn’t even just a one-sided flirting like every other women had with him. I couldn’t be around him if it happened to me.”

“It’s not like anything major happened. It was all bad timing and the situation wasn’t good. It’s better this way,” you tell her, trying to sound convincing while the guilt is eating you on the inside. All these lies are clouding over your head and you have a feeling they will come down on you pouring one day.

“Still crazy that you are friends with his friends though,” Nat chimes in, squinting her eyes in the sunshine.

“Yeah, you are literally the only person on campus who gets to see him in his private life,” Eden nods. If only they knew how much you see him privately!

“It’s not that crazy,” you shrug, turning back to your book.

You all get back to work, forgetting about Harry, or at least Nat and Eden does, because you get a text from him shortly after he disappeared in the building.

Harry: You look very pretty today :)

Y/N: Flirting with me on campus, professor?

Harry: Can’t help it.

Y/N: You look handsome too, it’s a shame I can’t kiss you stupid!

Harry: Patience!

“Y/N? Did you hear what I said?” Nat grabs your attention from the phone and you realize she was talking to you.

“What? Uh, sorry.”

“I said that we should go out this weekend. It’s been ages since we last did anything other than studying.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t come with your usual, rambling about how we shouldn’t have any fun before we finish,” Eden rolls her eyes.

“That’s not what I say. I just think that we have priorities.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s a priority for me to have fun, so I’m down for a night out.

“I think I’m passing,” you mumble. You already made plans for the weekend with Harry, take a hike up the hills since the weather has been nice and it would be great to spend time together outside the house. The hiking routes are far away enough from town that uni students don’t like to take the hustle to drive all the way out so you’ll be fine being together outside.

“If you want to say that you have something planned with your mystery man, don’t even bother. If it’s not his birthday, we are overruling him,” Eden scoffs and you roll your eyes at her.

“Just go without me.”

“That’s not the same!” Nat whines. “Come on, Y/N. For once choose us!”

“That’s rude I choose you guys a lot of times!”

“Not since you’ve been spending half your life with some man and the other half in the library.”

“Yeah, we feel abandoned!” Nat pouts at you, trying to make you feel bad and in all honesty, she is succeeding.

“We can doll ourselves up, have fancy cocktails and all that, it’s gonna be fun! Come on, just one night! I can’t take another Saturday sitting in my room, reading my notes,” Eden growls and you sigh in defeat.

“Alright, I guess I’m in,” you mumble and your friends start cheering as if you just declared that men and women are going to get paid equally from now on.

You can tell Harry is bummed that you have to cancel your weekend plans, but he is also trying to be understanding.

“I couldn’t bring up a relevant argument so they made me say yes,” you growl when later that day you’re cuddling on his couch after dinner.

“S’fine,” he sighs, leaning down he pecks your lips shortly.

“Wish I could just tell them that I had plans with you,” you breathe out.

“Y/N…” “I know!” you roll your eyes. “It’s just that it would be nice if I could at least tell them the truth.”

“We already talked about this,” he sighs.

“I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that it bothers me,” you point out. “Am I not allowed to feel that way?”

“You are, I just don’t get why you keep bringing it up when there’s literally nothing I can do about it,” he retorts.

“Well there is, you just choose not to.” And with that, you officially pick another fight with him.

It’s not that you enjoy fighting with him, not at all, but the situation is so not ideal and you find his overprotectiveness a little too much at times. You don’t understand why you can’t share it with your two closest friends. You could at least tell Sarah or the other guys, have anyone know about the two of you, but literally no one on Earth knows that you are a couple and it’s bugging you way more than it probably should.

“Why are you so damn keen on making others know about us? What does that have to do with anything?” he growls throwing his hands into the air, standing in the opposite end of the room as you keep pacing the floor, the urge to keep on moving taking over you.

“Because—“ you snap, but stop yourself. You know if you say it out loud, he’ll think you’re stupid.

“Because what?!”

“Because i-it makes me feel like we are not even real! I can’t talk about us, I can’t touch you outside of this house, no one knows we are a thing and it’s so fucking nerve-wrecking, Harry!” you break down, feeling your throat closing up. You didn’t mean to get emotional over this, but you’ve been bottling it up for a while now.

Harry’s shoulder fall forward as he sees the change in you, the heat of the fight long forgotten. He crosses the room, hands reaching up to cup your face in his palms, his thumbs running across the soft skin under your eyes as he wipes the tears away.

“Baby, I know. You think I don’t want to show you off? I want to hold your hand and just take a walk with you, kiss you whenever I want to, show all the horny fratboys on campus that you’re taken. I know it’s hard, but we really don’t have a choice until the end of the semester.”

He gently kisses the tip of your nose before pulling you to his chest, your arms circle around his waist as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, trying to stop your sobs.

“I’m sorry. I really wish it was all different,” he murmurs, kissing into your hair softly.

“No, I’m sorry for bitching about this all the time. I knew what we were getting into,” you exhale sharply. “It just… really sucks.”

“It does. But we just have to be patient.”

You manage to put the fight behind and move on in peace, but a tiny thought remains buzzing in the very back of your mind. What happens when you finish school? Will it all be different? Harry will still be a professor and if people see you around together, they will know you were one of his students. What’s gonna be the difference? If he is so on edge now, something is telling you he won’t be changing dramatically and it concerns you. A lot.

Not willingly, but you go out with Nat and Eden on Saturday. You go to a place that’s quite popular between students, you can most likely always find familiar faces from lecture halls and classes. It’s close to campus and more on the cheap side, the perfect spot for uni students for a night of fun.

As expected, you run into some people from school and they invite the three of you to sit with them at their table which comes in handy, because there’s no empty place by the time you arrive.

One drink follows the other and you easily get tipsy especially because you skipped on dinner before heading out. Though you weren’t in the mood for tonight, you find yourself enjoying the conversation and the company. It really has been long since the last time you went out with the girls and it’s nice to spend some time with them without the books and notes.

A debate starts about whose course one of the boys, Jace should take next semester.

“Professor Peltz is fucking boring, dude,” Nat growls, taking a sip from her drink. “Had him last semester, I could barely stay awake during his lectures.”

“Yeah, but they say he gives good grades easily,” Jace argues.

“Okay, but who else can you choose from again?” Lydia, a girl who lived a few doors down from you when you lived in a dormitory your first year.

“Um, Professor Makley and Professor Styles.”

You freeze at the mention of Harry, especially upon hearing Lydia’s reaction.

“Jace, choose Professor Styles! He is so fucking hot!”

“Not that it matters to me, Lyd,” Jace chuckles.

“Oh come on, I know even guys think he is hot.”

You feel like an intruder in the conversation, keeping quiet as you listen to her rave about how hot she finds Harry. It’s like you are eavesdropping on something that wasn’t meant for your ears, but it’s just the guilt bubbling inside you once again, because you know you won’t be able to say a word without having to lie.

“She has a point,” another guy, Garrett chimes into the conversation. “The man is handsome and I’m not even ashamed to admit it.”

“See?” Lydia chuckles. “He is sexy and smart, the whole package. I’ve been daydreaming about him since first year.”

You catch Eden’s look, but you just busy yourself with gulping from your vodka cranberry, feeling uncomfortable in the situation but not even for the reason she thinks. Eden must think it’s weird because you had an actual thing with Harry, but the truth is… that thing is still very much ongoing.

“I would let that man do whatever he wants with me,” Lydia adds sighing longingly, and you are having a hard time to hold your tongue. Unfortunately, you don’t succeed.

“Not sure he wants anything to do with you,” you mumble into your drink and though you hoped your comment would stay unnoticed, but you are out of luck.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Lydia slyly replies, a bit too full of herself for your liking. Yes, she is pretty and definitely doesn’t have problem with guys, but she is a little too confident about Harry if you’re being honest.

“I’m sorry?” you ask with a soft, bit annoyed chuckle.

“I’m just saying that we’ll never know who he finds attractive, because we all know he keeps himself so far from his students.”

“Yeah, maybe because he is not interested in any of his students,” you point out.

“As if he would ever make a move on any of us,” she snorts and you are losing your temper. You shouldn’t have had so much to drink, because now you really can’t hold your tongue.

“You can never know, Lydia. You can’t know if he acts the way he does because he is just trying to be professional or because he is, and consider this, not interested in you. Maybe he would actually act up on his feelings but you’re just not his type.”

Your comment is more like just a harsh comeback to Lydia’s words, but Nat and Eden kind of catch on that something is up with you. Ignoring their questioning looks you chug down your drink and soon excuse yourself to get some fresh air. No surprise that they follow you like puppies.

“Girl, what was that inside?” Nat asks as the three of you stand near the entrance of the bar, a few smoking guests littering the area.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” you mumble, clearly avoiding to look at any of them, wrapping your arms around your upper body as if you were trying to keep your shit together physically.

“You snapped at Lydia for saying Professor Styles might have a thing for her,” Eden points out, but you just bite the inside of your cheeks.

“Because it was bullshit.”

“Why does that matter to you? Not that you’re together with him or something,” Nat argues and you roll your lips into your mouth, trying to keep a straight face but they know you way better than that. They gasp at the same time, Eden grabbing your forearm forcefully that makes you scowl.

“Hey! That hurts!” you whine, but she couldn’t care less.

“Are you fucking around with Professor Styles?” Nat whisper yells at you, eyes wider than ever.

“I mean… we’re not fucking around,” you mumble, looking down at your shoes as you kick the dirt around. “We’re kinda serious.”

“Holy fucking shit!” Eden snaps, drawing some attention at her and you let out an awkward chuckle at the glances the three of you get. “Are you fucking joking right now?”

“No, I am… not,” you admit, feeling a little relieved that you finally said it, but you also feel like you let Harry down with it.

“How long?” Nat questions in shock.

“Since New Year’s Eve. So… almost four months.”

“So he is the one you’ve been seeing all this time? The guy you didn’t want to talk about?”

“Um, yeah. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk about him, we just agreed that it’s safer if no one knows.”

“I’m speechless, Y/N,” Eden shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t fucking believe you kept it from us for this long!”

“I know, I felt so shitty, but it’s such a complicated situation, it’s so risky, we don’t want it to ruin us.”

“Obviously,” Nat nods understandingly. “And now I see why you snapped so harshly at Lydia.”

“I just couldn’t stand her talking like that. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep every fucking thought to myself.”

“Why do I have a feeling it has a little more to it than to just Lydia drooling over Harry?” Nat arches an eyebrow at you, folding her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, you’ve been oddly tensed lately,” Eden agrees.

“It’s just pretty stressful to have a secret relationship, it causes a lot of tension. And I’ve been… I’m not sure anything is going to change after I graduate, if I’m being honest.”

“What do you mean?” Nat asks.

“I just…” you sigh, all your thoughts you kept to yourself flooding back to you at once, overwhelming you in a situation that’s already a bit too much to handle. “We keep saying that it’s gonna change when I graduate, but I don’t see it. He is so overprotective and even if I graduate, people will find out that I was once his student. And it might not be against the rules anymore, but we’ll be judged. I didn’t think it through before, but it’s now starting to be more and more clear for me and I just… don’t know if we can make it work.”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes, you’ve been keeping this to yourself for way too long now and saying it out loud just broke the dam. When Nat and Eden sees your lips trembling and the watery eyes you’re trying to blink away, they don’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug.

“Aw, don’t cry! It makes me want to cry too!” Nat chuckles softly as they sandwich you between them.

“It just sucks so much, because I love him, but I feel like we met at the wrong time and place,” you sob, letting them crush you.

“It happens, baby. It happens. You’ll figure it out!” Eden kisses your forehead before they let go of you. “Want to go home?”

“It’s still early, don’t want to kill the party. I think I’ll just… head over to Harry’s for now. Is that okay?”

“Of course, do whatever makes you feel better,” Nat assures you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry I was such a party pooper.”

You call yourself an Uber and text Harry that you are going over. Twenty minutes later you are walking up the stairs to his house and he opens the front door before you could even reach for the doorknob.

“Hey, baby,” he breathes out softly and you don’t say a word, just wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Hey, what happened? Didn’t have a good time with your friends?” He delicately caresses your hair, walking the two of you inside so he can close the door before wrapping both his arms around you, holding you close to his chest.

“Don’t really want to talk about it,” you mumble and it’s the truth. You’re tired of these thoughts though you know you should talk to him about how you’ve been feeling about the two of you lately. Part of you is hoping something will just magically solve the whole situation and you won’t have to deal with it yourself.

Harry makes you a tea while you take a shower and once you are both in bed, you cuddle to his side while he reads some. You are just genuinely enjoying his closeness, because despite everything that’s been haunting you in connection with Harry, you really love this man. Like no one else before and the possibility of the two of you not making it long term scares you more than it probably should.

The next few weeks come and go in a sense of numbness. Following your emotional breakdown in front of the bar, you kind of push the whole thing to the back of your mind once again, putting all your focus on finishing school. Neither you nor Harry has the energy to put up more fights though you both can feel there’s a lot to talk about, but the end of the semester is just keeping you both way too busy to acknowledge the problems waiting on the corner.

At least there’s one less weight on your shoulders now that Nat and Eden know about you and Harry. You made them swear to their life they won’t tell anyone and you trust them to keep this heavy secret. They’ve been very supportive of the two of you, interrogated you one evening about everything that happened so far, they wanted to make sure Harry treats you the right way. No surprise, he does.

A few weeks before your state exam Harry extends his contract with the school to have him as a professor for another academic year so he is able to keep his visa as well.

You spend your last two weeks buried in your notes before your state exam and Harry gives you all the time and space you need, knowing well how much it means to you to earn the best grade possible.

When you are finally over your exam, you are celebrating at his place. He has bought a little cake and some champagne and you can’t wait to finally spend some time with him without having to worry about your studies.

“I’m proud of you, baby,” he smiles at you, clinking his glass against yours.

“Thank you, feels nice to be finally free,” you chuckle before taking a sip from the champagne.

“My smart girl, knew you’d kill all your exams.” He kisses your lips shortly before squeezing your hand. “How about I run a bath for us, we eat the cake in the tub and then we can watch a movie?”

“Sounds fantastic,” you smile at him before he disappears in the bathroom to get everything ready.

Finishing your champagne you wash the glass quickly and you’re about to cut the cake when your phone buzzes signaling that you’ve just gotten an email. As pull down the notification bar your lips part reading the first few lines. You open the whole thing and read through it eagerly.

It’s a job offer, but not just some lame one that also sounds sketchy at the same time. This one is from one of the biggest investigation offices in London and they are offering you a trainee position as a forensic document examiner with a possible secured spot on their team after one year. The money sounds amazing, the position is perfect, just what you’ve been dreaming of once you are done with school and they are looking forward to hear back from you about a possible interview in the near future.

“Alright, bath is coming together nicely, want to cut the ca—Wha’s up?” Harry questions upon returning from the bathroom, finding you staring at your phone’s screen with widened eyes.

“I, uhh—I just got a… a job offer,” you stutter, still rereading the lines, trying to find a sign that tells you it’s just a joke, but it seems completely genuine.

“What? Baby, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah,” you nod swallowing hard before you look up at him. “It’s in London.”

You watch his face fall from excited and happy to shocked and kind of panicky. You both know what that means, it doesn’t have to be said out loud. Harry just signed another year with the university that’s gonna tie him here for the next 12 months and if you accept the job you’ll be all the way across the world in the UK. Kind of ironic, him, the British guy stuck in the States while you, the American in the relationship, eager to go to the UK.

“That’s… wow. London.”

“Yeah, London,” you nod biting the inside of your cheeks.

“Are you… Are you gonna take it?”

“Well, they want an interview with me, but this is clearly a huge opportunity for me,” you say, not wanting to say the actual words. You feel like saying them would hit you harder than what you can take.

“It clearly is, it’s just that… You want to leave?” he breathes out, eyebrows knitting together.

“This is my only job offer and probably the best I’ll ever get.”

“So you do want to leave,” he forces and it’s pushing your limits.

“Career-wise, of course!” you finally say out loud, unwillingly.

“And what about everything else?”

“I clearly don’t want to leave everything else here, but I will never get a chance like this, Harry. This is the greatest push for someone like me, fresh out of school. I can have a secured spot in a year at a well-respected place. I’m not really in the position to reject offers like this.”

He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, clearly unsure about what to do or say in the situation on his hand. You can tell he has a lot to say, but you’re not sure you want to hear all of them.

“Say something?” you softly plead and his eyes meet yours again, filled with concern.

“I just… It took me by surprise, I guess.”

“I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“No, not the job offer,” he shakes his head.

“Then what?”

“That you are ready to leave so easily. It’s like you never even wanted to discuss a version where you stay here, you just decided that you are leaving and that’s it.”

“Did you hear me? I cannot pass on this opportunity, Harry.”

“I did hear you,” he nods, pressing his lips together. “I heard that you didn’t even think about saying no.”

“Why would I say no?”

“Because I’m here, Y/N!” he snaps. “Good to know that I’m not a factor when it comes to decisions as big as leaving the country!”

“You are, Harry, but I need to think about my future career now. I’m not planning to work at an office for the rest of my life and if I pass on this job I might never get anything as good as this one,” you explain, but it seems like the two of you are having two different conversations.

“But why do I feel like it was never an option for you to stay?”

You give him a confused look. He really doesn’t see your point.

“Okay, why was only I supposed to change plans for us? You coming to London doesn’t feel like an option either, why are you trying to turn this against me?”

“I just extended my contract, you know that.”

“I do, and also, while we are at it, you didn’t ask me about that either. You didn’t even wait for me to figure out what I want to do after school, you just assumed that I would be here, but I never said that.” You can tell it hit him hard in the chest but somehow still, he thinks he is right when he isn’t.

“How could have I known you’d want to move across the globe?” he throws his hands up into the air.

“You’re saying this as if I didn’t just get the email and I’ve been plotting this the whole fucking time!”

“I’m just saying that it’s a huge fucking step and you decided so easily, it says a lot about the nature of our relationship.”

“Why are you saying that?!” you snap at him. “Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?”

“I’m not! I’m just saying that it would have been nice if you at least pretended like it was up for debate. You know what it’ll do to us if you move to London.”

“Then come with me!”

“I can’t!” He raises his voice, clearly losing his temper. “I can’t break my contract and you know that too.”

“Well, I can’t afford to say no to the job either and if I’m being honest, I don’t think we could have made it work even if I stayed.” The words leave your mouth before you could think about them, and the cat is finally out of the bag. It seemingly shocked Harry and he is now staring at you with a blank expression, shoulders falling forward.

“What?” he breathes out and you can actually hear his heart breaking. You take a deep breath and rub your face with your palms, trying to collect your thoughts and not just blurt everything out.

“I’ve been thinking and… Even after I’m officially out of the school, people will know that I was your student if they see us together. And I know how important your reputation is for you so I would never put you through any of the shit we might get for us being together. People would judge, no matter what the situation is. I don’t… I just don’t think we can ever make it work here.”

He stays silent, just stares at you, taking in your words and once again, you wish you could read his mind. You almost start begging him to say something when he finally speaks up.

“So you think we don’t have a chance?”

“Not here… maybe not now. I feel like this has been the perfect example of wrong place, wrong time,” you quietly say, a pang of guilt in your tone, this is not how you planned on making this conversation. To be honest, you wished this never had to come, but you were out of luck.

Harry is awfully silent, it’s all over his face how broken he is and you feel the same. You have so much love for this man, yet fate decided you don’t get to share it with him the way you want.

Walking closer you cup his face in your palms, searching for his eyes until his green irises meet your gaze. You run your thumb across his cheekbones, the pads of your fingers gliding softly over the soft skin. His hands slowly find their way to your waist and he pulls you close to him as you kiss him tenderly, a silent confession about just how much you love him.

“I wanted this to work. I wanted this so badly,” he whispers against your lips, his fingers digging into your back as he keeps you tight in his hold.

“I know. Me too,” you smile at him bitterly.

The rest of the evening passes by silently. You take a bath together, finish the cake anyway though even the sweetness can’t help the pain you both feel. Then you lie in bed for hours, just touching and feeling each other, making the best out of the time you have left. It’s unsaid, but you both know your days together are coming to a close end. Kisses and touches turn into some passionate love making, both of you desperate to feel as close to each other as possible and then you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

If you’re being honest, it’s all a blur following that night. You fix up an interview with London a few days later and they are not shying out of telling you straightforward that they want you there, the job is yours. You have one last short conversation with Harry about you leaving, but it’s more like just a confirmation that yes, it is going to happen and that leaves you with only a few weeks left together before you are packing up to leave the country.

You spend every possible free minute together until graduation where you finally get your degree. Your whole family comes and they cheer on you proudly, Harry standing in the crowd a little farther in the back, but still with a proud smile, a hint of gloominess in his beautiful green eyes. A week later you officially move out of your shared apartment with the girls, it’s a sobbing goodbye since all three of you are leaving in different directions following your graduation. You spend your last two weeks before your departure at home, spending as much time with your family as possible since you won’t be able to see them too often once you leave. Though your mom is dying to take you to the airport to say her final goodbye, you decided to give that time to Harry. He said he would drive to your hometown, pick you up and take you to the airport and you already know it’s gonna turn you into an emotional mess.

Leaving everything behind is hard, but having to say goodbye to Harry is the worst. It’s been a whole emotional rollercoaster for the both of you to get to this point and neither of you are ready to say goodbye, but this is what needs to happen.

That morning, you hug your parents, sister and brother tightly after you load Harry’s car with your two huge suitcases that have your whole life packed in them. You asked your family not to ask any questions about Harry and luckily, they kept quiet the whole time he was there, just treating him as a friend. You couldn’t take having to explain to them who he really is and how you met him, that’s gonna be another conversation for the future when you don’t feel like you’re about to start crying the moment you open your mouth.

The ride to the airport is silent, Harry holds your hand, your glued together palms lying on your lap the whole time. You haven’t even left but you already miss him so much.

Arriving he helps you bring all your stuff inside and patiently waits until you check your baggage in, leaving you with just your carry-on. Standing near the security check, the final moment finally comes and as soon as you look into his eyes you start bawling your eyes out.

“Oh baby, come ‘ere,” he breathes out, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I told you we would make everything right, but I couldn’t,” you sob into his chest as he holds you tight. You feel like if he let go of you, you’d just turn into a puddle at his feet.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he soothes you, his fingers threading through your hair.

“But it feels like it was,” you choke out. Harry leans back and takes your puffy cheeks between his warm palms, looking deep into your eyes.

“It wasn’t. As you said, it was just a matter of wrong time and place. But I think we brought the best out of it.”

“So… you don’t regret it?” you softly ask, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Absolutely not,” he smiles at you kindly. “I loved every moment of it. And I love you.” You notice how he didn’t use past tense when he said he loves you and you can’t decide if it aches your heart more or fills you with joy. A little bit both of them.

“I love you too,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his, savoring them one last time before you leave everything behind.

“Maybe we’ll meet again,” he smiles sweetly when he pulls back, tugging your hair behind your ear with a gentle move.

“I really hope,” you chuckle through your tears. “Take care, Harry,” you tell him, pecking his lips just once more.

“You too, baby,” he smiles, his hands falling to his sides as he lets go of you.

Turning around you walk into security and as you go with the line towards the gates, you glance back one last time. Harry is standing in the exact same spot, eyes glued to you as he watches you disappear from his sight.

youtube

It feels like the meeting is never coming to its end. You exchange a look with Jasmine, who seems just as tired and done with this two hours long discussion as you are. She grabs her phone from the table and you watch her something type out before she eyes at your device, signaling that she just texted you.

Jas: I need alcohol after this day. Want to have a drink with me after work?

Y/N: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!

You see her smile at her screen before both of you return to your boss at the front, talking about a possible upcoming case.

“And last but not least, I want to take a moment to bring light to the excellent work Y/N, our new full-time colleague did on the Santiago case. The police were highly satisfied with the fast and precise work you did. This was your first official case since you’ve decided to accept our offer to become a full member of our team and transferred from your position as a trainee. Congrats!” William, your boss nods in your way with a proud smile as a round of applause cheers for you from your colleagues.

“You go girl!” Jasmine mouths you from across the table and you just chuckle shaking your head.

The meeting finally wraps up and everyone goes on with their day. You are walking back to your office with Jasmine by your side. Your offices are next to each other and you started working here just three weeks apart. She is the same age as you and was approached the same way as well, it’s just that she moved all the way from Australia. The two of you have grown quite close, starting a new life at the same time in a foreign country, it easily brought you together.

“So are we leaving early for those drinks or what?” she asks poking your side.

“How early?”

“I don’t know, like fifteen minutes? Come on, it’s Friday, everyone leaves early!” You shake your head chuckling at her. She can be so restless sometimes, but it’s just the right amount that she can push you out of the comfort zone just enough.

“Alright.”

“Cool, I’ll come banging on your door,” she winks at you before disappearing for her usual coffee break.

It’s two in the afternoon, you still have a few hours ahead of you and some caffeine sounds perfect actually. Though the coffee at the office is excellent, you’ve grown to like this small place nearby, a family owned business that offers the best you’ve ever had.

You grab your bag from your office and head out for a quick coffee run. The walk to the café is freshening, the weather has been treating you well lately, the Sun is beaming and you can only hope you won’t wake up to pouring rain the next morning.

You think back to how lost you were feeling just a year ago, when all of this around you were so new and a little too much at once. One month into your time in London you even thought about quitting and moving back home. You felt alone and broken, yearning after everything you left behind. Your friends, family, loved ones, everything that was so far away from you.

It took you long weeks, even months to get used to your new life and now you can’t even imagine yourself anywhere else. It doesn’t miss you don’t miss terribly the life you had still, but now you have a lot to be happy about here as well.

Waiting at a crossroad, you find yourself twirling around the strawberry ring on your finger, your thumb fidgeting with it like every time you think about your home. You glance down at it and take a deep breath before the lamp turns green and you continue your walk to the café.

It’s not rush hours so there are only a few people lingering around the small place. You don’t have to think about what you are getting, James, the barista already knows your usual and starts making it right away as you swipe your card paying your drink.

You stand at the side, waiting for your coffee, staring out the window, watching people pass by on this lovely afternoon. Your gaze stops on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench, feeding a group of pigeons and you smile as a little girl runs through the birds, making them fly away instantly. The old lady just smiles at the girl, not holding a grudge that she just scared the birds away.

Your eyes move away, watching businessmen come and go, kids going home from school, wearing their school uniforms, everything just feels so… peaceful.

You are almost about to turn away from the window when your gaze falls on a tall figure near the Sainsbury’s across the road and your lips part as you catch a glimpse of a tattooed arm you know all too well. You blink once, twice, three times, waiting for your eyes to make sure it’s the person you think it is.

Harry is standing right there, holding a little bag of groceries, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, oblivious to your shocked gaze on him. Your feet move before your brain could think it through, they take you out of the café and you stand in the middle of the sidewalk as you call out for him.

“Harry!”

His head snaps up at his name, eyes looking around, searching for the source before they finally find you, a shocked, but seemingly joyful expression plastering over his handsome face. He is quick to shove his phone into his pocket before he watches both ways and runs across the road to meet you on the other side. You can’t push your smile down as you watch him approach you, his tall, fit figure getting closer and closer until he is standing right in front of you, watching you in awe.

“Hey,” he breathes out, both of you a little unsure of what to do, how to greet each other.

It’s been months since you last talked. After your departure you kept in contact, you couldn’t just distance yourself from him so abruptly, but the thousands of miles between the two of you made it almost impossible to maintain a working connection, the time zones, all the work you both were buried under and just life itself made you drift away from each other.

But he is now standing in front of you and though he looks slightly different, he is still the Harry you know and love. He is your Harry.

“What… what are you doing here?” you ask, finally finding your voice.

“Did you forget I’m British?” you teases you and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, are you visiting family or something?”

“I uhh…” he glances down at his feet before his eyes meet yours again. “I’m actually back.”

“What do you mean?”

“My contract ended in July and I didn’t… I didn’t extend it. I came back a few weeks ago.”

Your lips part at the information. Harry is in London, he is now in the same city as you, for the first time in a whole year.

“Really? That’s… wow.” There’s too much you want to tell and ask him, yet you stand there, blinking at him, still lost in the feeling of seeing him for the first time again.

“I actually wanted to contact you when I got back, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that,” he admits with a nervous chuckle and your eyes soften over him.

“What do you mean? I would have loved it if you called.”

“It’s just that we haven’t talked in a while and I didn’t know… I didn’t know where you’re standing about me.”

“Well, seems like fate did it for you,” you smile at him warmly. “I would love to catch up. I have to head back to work now, but maybe later?”

“What about after work? When are you getting off?”

“I finish at 5.”

“I can meet you at your work if you text me the address.”

“That would be great,” you nod smiling. “My number is still the same, so you’ll know it’s me.”

“Great,” he nods, the corners of his mouth curling up in a boyish smirk. You are just now realizing how much you’ve missed him.

“I, um…” You’re trying to find the right words, still feeling overwhelmed about the sudden run-in, but at last you decide to go for a hug.

Your arms wrap around his waist, he hesitates for a moment before wrapping you in his tight embrace, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. A shiver runs down your spine as the sense of home washes over you all at once, the warmth of Harry’s body making your heart flutter. Unfortunately, the moment must come to an end. His arms fall from around you, just like they did at the airport when you said goodbye to each other over a year ago.

“I’ll… see you later then,” he smiles as you are backing towards the entrance of the café.

“Yeah, later,” you nod and turning around you walk inside.

Arriving back to the office you drop by Jasmine’s office to tell her that you have to postpone your plans after work.

“What is more important than getting drunk with me?” she gasps dramatically.

“I ran into… I met Harry,” you tell her. You told her all about Harry one evening when you were out, just a few months into your stay. It was one of those days when you were feeling extremely homesick, or maybe you just missed him terribly.

“What? Your professor ex?” she asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you are forgiven. Go and get the man back!”

“What?” you chuckle. “We just met after a year, how do you know I want him back? Maybe I just want to catch up with him,” you say, but it’s an obvious and blatant lie and you both know that. Jasmine gives you a look.

“Please, you are still so obviously in love with the man, don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”

You don’t protest, just bite into your bottom lip. You really are in love with him, or the version you knew a year ago. He could be an entirely different person now so you can’t be sure if your feelings are the same about the man you met today.

“Have fun with him and then tell me all about it after, okay?” she beams and you just nod, leaving her to finish her work.

As time is slowly passing by you find yourself growing nervous about seeing Harry. That short little conversation on the street was not enough to calm your nerves. What is he like now? Is he the same? Does he have new hobbies? Is he as happy to see you as you are to see him? What will he think of you? What if he doesn’t like you after all this time?

You try to push the questions to the back of your mind, not wanting to overwhelm yourself too much to the point where you chicken out of seeing him. When you’re on your way down following his text that he is waiting for you in front of the building, you are trying to keep yourself together and remind yourself that it’s just Harry, he might be a little different, but he is still kind of the same.

Luckily, the moment you spot him waiting a few feet away from the entrance, you forget about everything else, he is the only one to exist. He envelopes you in a hug when you arrive, smiling at you warmly.

“Hi, ready to go?” he kindly asks and you nod.

You settle for a nearby bar you’ve actually been to with Jasmine before. Harry insists on paying for the first round of drinks as the two of you settle in a secluded booth at the back. When he is standing at the bar you catch yourself watching him in awe. The situation is quite odd, could have never happened probably back home, the two of you casually out for a drink.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks upon returning, sitting across you.

“I was just thinking how this is the first time we are out, just the two of us.”

Harry smiles softly, probably appreciating it just the same.

The next couple of hours you both try to share anything and everything that has happened in the past year. He tells you about his last year as a professor and him not extending his contact. Coming back to London he has joined a research group for a marketing company, using his excellent knowledge to analyze human behavior in connection with different type of ads.

“It’s a lot different from being a college professor ain’t it?” you tease him and he nods chuckling.

“Guess I wanted some change. But it’s been nice, I enjoy doing a lot of research and experiments.”

Then you tell him about your time as a forensic document examiner, all the different cases you worked on and how it has been, living in London on your own. He listens to your tales about everything you’ve done with Jasmine, the concerts and karaoke bars you’ve been to and just generally your life overseas.

“Sounds like you’ve found your place, then,” he says smiling softly.

“I guess. Wasn’t an easy transition, but I’m feeling good now,” you nod. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my past,” you add.

His eyes wander down to your hands that are fidgeting with your almost empty glass. You see how they stop over the ring and he seems surprised as he reaches out, takes your hand in his and runs his thumb over the little strawberries.

“You’re still wearing the ring,” he states.

“Of course,” you smile and when he is about to let go of your hand, you grab it and hold it, needing to feel his touch.

You wanted to run back home so many times because you were missing him too badly, missed his voice, his eyes, his touch, everything and now, out of nowhere, he is here with you again, far away from the place where it all started and had to end for a while, still making you feel like home, no matter where you are.

At one point, you move to sit beside him in the booth. You just keep sharing and sharing even things you’ve talked about on the phone before. You’re just soaking each other in. His arm soon moves around your shoulders and you gladly lean into his side, placing a hand to his thigh, sparkles running through your body.

“I love this,” you hum to yourself upon finishing your last drink.

“Love what?”

“Being out with you without a worry. I always dreamt of this and it’s just… so natural. I wish we got to experience it before.”

“As you said, that was a wrong time and place. Wasn’t our fault.”

You lift your head, eyes meeting his curious green irises as he smiles down at you kindly. You’ve missed that smile, it still makes your heart skip a beat, just like at the beginning.

“And do you think it’s the right time and place now?” you prompt the question.

“It’s definitely… better,” he chuckles softly. “Unless you are seeing someone, because now would be the best time to tell me.”

“I’m not,” you shake your head smirking. “Tried to go on dates, but truth is… none of them were you. I gave up after a few terrible attempts.”

“I didn’t even try,” he shyly smiles. “I just… knew no one would make me as happy as you did. As you always do.”

Pushing yourself up a bit, you rest your forehead against his as he closes his eyes, his arm around your shoulder tightens and his other hand rests on your thigh, pulling you closer. Your palm slides up his chest and neck until you’re cupping his cheek. You place a soft lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, testing the waters out, seeing how he reacts though nothing that happened tonight tells you he wants to keep his distance.

He moves his face, nose nudging against you before his lips find yours in a kiss you’ve been longing for since you left him behind at the airport over a year ago. Your fingers lace through his hair, pulling him towards you as if he could escape from your hold any moment, but he is definitely here to stay. Your lips clash again and again, savoring each other, eagerly trying to make up for the time you lost since your departure. You melt into his arms, moving your legs across his lap as he pulls you to his lap in the booth, partially hidden from the rest of the bar, wrapped up in your little bubble. He tastes like home, his kisses feel like the first warm rays of sunshine after a long and cold winter, the only thing you couldn’t really get yourself over this whole year. Because you’ve become good at pushing your feelings down to the point where you could easily carry on, but he was always in the corner of your mind, making you wonder if you’ll ever meet again and if you do, will it be the same as before?

It’s not, because it’s better. The burdens and banters that tied you both down a year ago are now long gone, you have all the time and space in the world, nothing is restricting you. You can touch him and kiss him whenever and wherever you want. There’s no more sneaking around, no one here knows who you are and who Harry used to me to you. Here, you’re just another lovesick couple, so into each other it’s almost insane.

When he pulls back his forehead stays rested against yours as you both are trying to catch your breath. His hand runs up and down your thigh, the warmth of his palm melting your body under his soft touch.

“I love you,” he breathes out, eyes meeting yours.

“You still do?” you ask with a small smile, heart beating in your throat.

“I never stopped loving you,” he admits and you let out a shaky breath, pulling him down for a short kiss.

“Not even when I was an ocean away from you?”

“No,” he chuckles shaking his head. “If that’s possible, I loved you even more when you were away. I realized how much you mean to me and I could only hope you weren’t moving on without me.”

“I could never,” you smile at him softly. “I love you too much to do that.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you say that,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle and you kiss his lips shortly, assuring him that you feel the same way. “So… are we going to try again?”

“Do you want to?”

“There’s nothing I want more, baby,” he truthfully admits, his gaze softening at you as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you want to?”

“Of course,” you smile at him widely. “I think it’s settled.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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