#god i miss active discord servers

[doctordiscosbignaturals]

found some screenshots from an old discord server i was in that have me in fucking tears

[wynnyfryd]

💖 2024 Steddie Fic Recs 💖

@thefreakandthehair and i were talking about how so many of the fics we can name off the top of our heads are from right after the show came out because we were still actively making rec lists back then, so:

in no particular order i present to you an incomplete list of fics i love that were published or completed within the last two months

short fics (<10k)

Found God In A Tomato by @beetlesandstarss 5.7k | rated M | fluff, text fic

syrupy sweet strangers to first date fic. without spoiling anything, eddie is a flustered cutie and steve is a fuckin' menace who's lucky he's so hot

he tightened he grip by @steddieas-shegoes 1.3k | rated E | crack not treated remotely seriously

Mickala beloved your commitment to the bit makes me wanna commit myself to you 💍

Slide It In by gayhandshake 1.8k | rated E | multimedia crack

another truly impeccable work of crack fic, i laughed so hard at the first image that i made it the icon for my private discord server

what's that sound? (there's a funny man at my door) by @jewishrat420 4.8k | rated M | spicy six text fic

laughed out loud at this fic so many times i really don't know what else to tell you. as a matter of fact, i went to look at my bookmark note to see what else i had to say about it when i read it, and my note just says "fucking hilarious i laughed out loud like 6 times" 💀 did not do not will never know what else to tell you except that the phrase "the goyim of gender" just randomly pops into my brain once every four or so days now

medium fics (10-20k)

In the Kitchen or the Tulips by @teddywesworl 44k | rated E | telepathic soulmate AU

this fic said "watch me flip this trope inside out like a freshly cubed half of an avocado" and then DELIVERED. i finished this fic and then stared at the side of my husband's head for long enough that he looked over and went "wtf are you doing" lmao hush baby i am contemplating the implications

they're going to send us to prison for jerks by @greatunironic 16k | rated E | social media AU

okay firstly the premise of this fic is so specifically and delightfully unhinged; love that i'm not the only one who looks at a random tiktok account and manically whispers to myself "there's a fic in there somewhere." secondly the execution is a 10 outta 10 outta 10 outta TEN

long fics (50k+)

Sneaky Link by @morningberriesao3 152k | rated E | onlyfans au

the sex is HOT the boys are dumb as goddamn ROCKS what more do you need? oh, what's that? you do need more? sick because this fic also has: the tags "cum slut eddie munson" and "everyone is gay (because i say so)", chrissy the homophobe slayer being the cutest little spy, and jason getting his ass whooped, like, spiritually. on a spiritual level. physically unharmed but that boy's soul is missing teeth do u understand what i am saying

podfics!

it was love, love alone read by @reena-jenkins 21min | rated E

am i technically reccing my own fic on my own fic rec list? you bet your sweet ass i am, i don't even care how tacky that is reena's performance is hilarious and deserves to be listened to at least 40 more times while doing the dishes

relax (lay it back) read by @flintandfuss 1hr 10min | rated E | yogi dom steve x sub eddie

listen if i'm already being gauche then i gotta include my internet wife's belated birthday present to me, like i gotta. morally and lustfully obligated.

Schiava by @teddywesworl read by aheada_lettuce 1hr 30min | rated E | kas!eddie AU

said it once already today and i'll say it again, i cannot believe one of the best reading voices i've ever heard belongs to a person i mentally refer to as fucking lettuce LOL anyway this read is incredible and i have listened to it Times(tm)

and lastly, if you want more recs (like, 348 more specifically), you can browse my full list of public st bookmarks here

[neon-zipperooni]

who let discord cook on this new ui i want the old one back this one messes with my muscle memory so bad and it is actively less convenient like

the member list is way out of the way instead of being a simple swipe to the right, now swiping to the right triggers a reply on the message you swiped over instead

search tool is missing several results and no longer lets you go through pages you have to scroll down which makes finding stuff harder especially if it’s not recent

why is the invite members button right below the search that makes me anxious abt accidentally inviting someone to a server that’s supposed to be private or something

something something DM list and server list didn’t need to be in separate tabs

okay two good things uhh I like how voice calls look and being able to search for members is handy

but oh my god everything else is so much less convenient and it wasn’t needed

[muse-matrix]

So... It's been a while since I last logged in here. Longer still since I properly did... much of anything here, outside of a few scattered posts. Part of me had been kinda dreading coming back here but looking at when my activity really dramatically dropped off, I think I understand what happened.

So, way back in february of last year, I was bouncing between a lot of things. I was running around doing a bunch of stuff to try and secure a new job, and I did manage that- A big component of my not being here was just me adjusting to having to work again, after being unemployed for almost an entire year. It was tough to get the right structure going, but I managed it. And despite starting college just a couple weeks ago, I've mostly managed that too so far, I think.

But that isn't... the main reason why. Probably. I think.

You see, what else happened in february, was that I got booted from a community I'd been a part of for years. It encompassed my involvement in a card game I loved, as well as the FF14 free company I'd been part of at the time. Someone who was, at one time, a good friend of mine misinterpreted something, and was so incensed by it, they took some things I said out of context and absolutely slandered me to the mod team of that community. (Yes, it actually is as bad as it sounds. I checked.) As a result, I was privately labeled some pretty nasty things, and shunted from their discord server without so much as a word. None of them would speak to me, none of them would even give me a chance to tell my side of things.

Obviously, that stung. A lot.

It had me pretty dejected about a lot of stuff, for a really long time. Probably why I mostly got off of here- I retreated to a different blog where there was less pressure (self-imposed) and more freedom for me to just, kinda, do whatever I wanted without fear or worry. I needed space and freedom to move myself around how I wanted for a while. And then that led to me feeling bad about not coming back here, which made me put off coming back here even longer... You see where this goes.

But at this point, it's been a year and a half. I'm pretty much over that fiasco, I haven't spoken to any of those people since, and they've evidently been content to leave it alone too, given I haven't had any mobs of angry pitchfork-wielding card game players coming after me.

And recently, Kako came back! She's RPing again and that's fun to see. I know a lot of you I've still been in contact with regardless, her included, so most of you probably are already aware of a lot of this stuff, but writing all this out is part of my process, so bear with it. The important thing is, after a lot of time and thinking about things, and seeing friends return to RPing and watching things happen from afar... God, do I want to get back into it with you all.

I very likely still won't be super active, but I'm going to at least try to be consistent. This is supposed to be my main, after all. I'll probably take the next week or so to clean up the muse list, cut a bunch of stuff, get a bit more focused and the like. Not that I'll actually stop playing any given muse- I'm wont to flip-flop between characters I enjoy, and I'm loathe to let fun interactions pass me by just because a character 'isn't on my muse list', but I ought to give myself a bit of structure, at least.

So... I'll try to be here every day, at least. Even if it's just to check in. This'll be a fresh start for me, I'd say, not that any of my old lore or whatever is getting abandoned. It's just... It's been a long time. It'll take some easing back into things for me, so I'm not even going to worry about whatever asks have been left to rot in my inbox, stuff like that.

Given it's been such a long time, some of you may... have blogs that I'm not currently following, cause I've missed them or what have you. So uh, if that's the case, please shoot me a message so I can correct that.

[will-one-with-the-bees]

My discord serves:

Acropolis

If you’re looking for a Hellenism discord server then look no further you have found on here. And it it quite different to any Hellenism discord servers you may have come across before and that is because it has hero channels along with unsung deities (I use the word unsung because I used to use minor but people kept think g I were saying they were less important which isn’t true), nymphs, and all kinds of spirits. If we don’t have a channel for someone you think should be on there just tell us and we can add it. It is a fun place with a kind and caring community. It may be small now but hopefully will grow in the future so we would love to see you there. So come and join the Acropolis and make new pagan friends and get answers to questions you want to know from any deity.

What we provide:

- A great server with anyone you could think of to worship (and if we don’t have it then you can simply suggest it and we’ll add it).

- A friendly atmosphere.

- Weekly activities.

- A place to chat with like minded people.

- Somewhere to make new friends

Aristaios’ hive

If you are also looking for a Aristaios/Aristaeus server then you’re in luck as I also have one solely for the great god of beekeeping. You’ll be very much welcome to this wonderful friendly place. It is for anyone no matter if you’re just a worshiper, devotee or are just interested it is open to all.

What we provide:

- A great server solely for Aristaios the Greek god of beekeeping and more.

- A friendly atmosphere.

- Somewhere to chat with likeminded people.

- A place to make new friends.

Athene’s temple

Are you a worshipper of the great goddess of wisdom or a devotee perhaps maybe just interested in her?

If you answer yes to any of those questions then you may be interested in this server of Pallas Athene where wisdom flourishes. It is a family friendly server and we will love to see you there.

What we provide:

- A friendly atmosphere.

- Somewhere to make new friends.

- A place to chat with likeminded people.

- A wonderful server solely for Pallas Athene.

Hermes hangout

If you’re a worshipper of Hermes or maybe just interested or even a devotee or priest/priestess then this is the server for you. It is spelt for the swift footed god.

What we provide:

- A wonderful server solely for Hermes.

- A place to make new friends.

- Somewhere to chat with likeminded people.

- A friendly atmosphere.

Temple of heroes and heroines

Hero worship is very much a thing as it also was in ancient times so if you worship a hero and want to talk to like minded people this is the place for you as we have many heroes and if we’re missing one you just need to suggest them and they’ll be added.

What we provide:

- A friendly atmosphere.

- A place to talk with like minded people who worship the ancient heroes and heroines.

- Somewhere to make new friends.

- A place that is always open to suggestions.

House of Witches

Are you a witch looking for a lonely sever for witchcraft? If so look no further this is the server for you, it is a great server with many friendly members so feel free to join we will look forward to seeing you there.

What we provide:

-A friendly atmosphere.

-A chance to meet witchy friends.

-Somewhere to chat with like minded people.

-A safe place for witches.

Conclusion

If any of the links here isn’t working just DM me or tell me in the comments and I’ll send you it again. And if you have any suggestions for any servers our mod teams are all ears, so don’t be scared and make any suggestions you have.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Incoming very long ramble about the fragility of internet content and the ways some things are impossible or difficult to preserve

The thing that frustrates me most about poppytwt is how fruitless it all feels.

Like, you can't archive or research poppytwt effectively. You can certainly TRY but you'll find very little!!!

You have people who spent years in the poppytwt fandom who can TELL you about fanfics they read, art they saw, friends they made who were deactivated or doxxed or harassed or who committed suicide or are otherwise lost to time, but they'll have almost nothing to show for it because poppytwt was actively designed to be as impossible to trace back as possible, precisely because people were afraid of harassment.

How are you supposed to find, say, Tommy/Tubbo fanfiction? There's some on the actual tag, sure, especially now that poppytwt is for the most part over and it's considered "okay" to ship them now, but I'll tell you right now there are thousands of fics that won't pop up because the fic had no tags whatsoever, or spelled Tubbo like Tvbb0, or used some God awful emoji combination to convey who they were talking about, or were straight up DELETED. Discord servers moved every few years, fanart and fics were usually tagged with censored bullshit or not tagged at all and then taken down and deleted, entire accounts were ALSO deleted, even assuming something was tagged properly it's probably gone.

Most of us in the fandom at the time didn't think to make archives of anything while it was happening, so we've lost like.... probably enough content to make our own small website full of it, and even more chatrooms.

Almost all of the public facing content left is NSFW and/or more controversial kinks like CNC, watersports, etc, which could be because people who post that content are more resistant to criticism anyway but honestly I don't know why that is, and I know sfw content beyond what you can currently find EXISTED, we consumed tons of it back in the day, but it's almost fucking impossible to find!!! And most of it, when you get your hands on a link, is GONE!!!!

It happens with NSFW content too though, if course. Veradie was one of the most popular artists in poppytwt by far and a lot of the art links don't work. Some have archived versions with working links but a lot is gone because the original post leading to it doesn't work, and Veradie, like, the person, is missing. I'm sure she(?) would know a lot about old fandom and might even have archived some stuff, but if you're some sort of internet historian how in the FUCK are you supposed to find her??? She deactivated without a trace!!!

I made friends with a user called Kencydoo on here and one day I logged on and Kency was just GONE without warning or any indication of where they were moving to, no DMs to people they knew, nothing. I don't even know if it was staff or mass reports or a self-deletion. I do know Kency sometimes posted NSFW dead dove stuff and had tags you could block to avoid it, so it's possible one of those posts blew up and got the blog taken down, but I have no level of certainty.

Reese (I think it was Reese?) had people hunting for a "main account" that didn't exist for harassment and doxxing purposes and then ALMOST left (I'm glad you're still here @reesesrambles )

There's no stability for poppytwt content and no real shelf life which means that most of the history and even the harassment that REQUIRED THE EXISTENCE of a seperate fandom is gone. We can describe what the old dsmp fandom was like and why poppytwt exists and what it means but most of the actual concrete fandom blogs or resources are GONE, absolutely obliterated.

Like you can't make a Strange Æons style video about poppytwt, you literally can't, because almost all of it is like the fucking city of Atlantis. There WAS stuff here, but it was constantly sinking.

Most people I know for a fact were involved in poppy honestly just left for the hermitcraft fandom because people over there are like...normal?? The hermitcraft fandom allows RPF and doesn't give a shit about shipping characters who are "sibling coded" or whatever the fuck. They understand the concept of just not clicking on something you don't want to see, instead of launching a twitter cancellation campaign against people. So like if you can talk about a similar, and GOOD source of content that is also actively ongoing and not get shit for it, why would you chose to create for a discontinued peice of content and/or streamers who you WILL get shit on for writing about?? Like if your options are "write grian RPF and be able to not stress and have a fun time" or "write tommyinnit RPF and delete hate comments every day and watch your back constantly" why the fuck would you pick the latter???

And it's frustrating because the fact everything disappears means it feels like you don't even have much to look back on. The friends you made or content you enjoyed about a series you love is all dust now, and if you were into the DSMP for a long time (and therefore in poppytwt for a long time) then it's so much worse. It all adds up.

Anyways that's my ramble on how fucked up it is that entire communities can be lost in an era where things can supposedly be maintained forever does anyone want to drink a caprisun with me

[simping-for-kamski]

Hi Lysle, I hope you're having a wonderful day today!! Happy Valentines!!

OMG Frank!! you are SO precious! this is so adorable! incomprehensible gushing about sorry i find this so late, uni ate my fanwork

He's so cute, lookit him handsome chibi tech bro mcfuckface of blorbo, I love him so much. 3s countdown before the pollen in those flowers triggers an allergic reaction in his pristine sensitive bodeh ♥

Also, taking this moment to say I am So Sorry for not being more active and not managing to reach out to y'all friends to slip in a little reminder that I actually think about you and miss you. Turns out uni is a lot more demanding than I expected, so scrolling on tumblr is a big no-no while having to focus on books. I still post on Ao3 and have taken root in the vent channels of some dbh discord servers to try and cheer up frens. That's it~♥

God I love that lil ear, nerd boy is so cute.

[yurious-george]

please spill the sleepless domain opinions. ive only ever seen praise for it

DISCLAIMER: SD's story is simply not to my preference. No issues with that - normally I would just stop reading and move on - but I was on the official SD discord server during my formative years, and basically had to pretend to like Sleepless Domain to interact with the server at large. Pent up bitterness, thy name is hallowed.

That said, my god. The two main characters are insecure little bores with one of the most unimpressive lesbian relationships I've ever seen in fiction. They are So. Damn. *Samey.* They spend so much time reassuring each other and talking, so much that any conflict is brought up and resolved within pages. You can skip whole pages of dialogue and not miss a single thing of import!

On a similar note, all the other major characters have very similar flaws. They're all insecure and hate themselves in pretty, palatable ways. All of them are so afraid of hurting each other and reassuring each other, binging the comic is genuinely frustrating - I desperately wanted someone, anyone to have a different flaw besides "I'm insecure!" Just because it manifests in different ways does not mean they're different characters - they're the same characters with different set dressing.

None of these are bad characters, but they don't have a single interesting character dynamic to rub between them. Besides which, this connecting trait reveals an alarming reduction in what a good person is, compared to Kiwi Blitz - good people put others first, good people secretly aren't confident, good people hate themselves. In KB, Mary's earlier comic, the majority of characters are all trying to do the "right" thing, but have very different motivations and contexts around the concept, and here they're all... the same...

SD is most engaging when it follows Rue, an unregistered, confident magical girl with a lot of siblings. She's a conspiracy theorist, but she actively asks questions about and discusses her world - such as what's outside the barrier, how to study it, etc. Her confidence causes her to break things off with a very vulnerable character over a small lashing out, and was possibly the final snapping point in her depressive spiral. She's far more proactive than the mains in Figuring Out the World, and I would like SD a lot more if she had more focus!

Speaking of the world. I find the author. frustratingly liberal at times. As in, we've had very different experiences with mental health and Ms. Cagle's parents Probably Didn't Threaten To Send Her To A Ward Overseas For Being Suicidal :) Or torture her with an overdose of psychotropics to make her 'productive'. (you can read more about my experience here.) Opening up with loved ones has clearly been beneficial for her and that's awesome! Unfortunately some of us got tortured more for doing that. And her (so far) refusal to acknowledge that in her story is... such a massive gap in her worldbuilding?

So, despite setting up a system with a monetary benefit to torturing children, she refuses to actually depict a child being tortured by her parents into compliance with being a magical girl - the logical, ultimate conclusion of her capitalist system. All the parents are So Scared For Their Kids :( Ok, well - where's the parent who's scared of losing their meal ticket? Why Are You Setting These Things Up And Not Putting Your Whole Pussy Into It

The art and paneling are fantastic, and Ms. Cagle has some of the most clear action sequences in comics. Sleepless Domain is a great comic when it's not about the main characters.

Also the "teenagers" all talk like therapypilled 20somethings and it makes me nauseous

[trashlie]

it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

[loser-female]

Hi! This is my space. If you are curious on the subject of radical feminism this post is for you.

Few things:

Kindfem (here on nice vs kind);

Bi-focused and disability/ND focused;

Anti-individualist,

Anti-black and white thinking,

Politically a socialist,

The job of a SOC Analyst.

About mental illness and excuses (one day I I'll make an actual essay about this, currently be happy with this version)

Ask policy:

I'm going to donate 5€ to a feminist organisation for every hate anon regarding me being a "terf" or something;

I'm going to donate 5€ to a DV organisation specifically for every hate anon, comment or reblog about me being in a relationship with a man

And you still won't get an answer! Ask yourself if it's worth it.

I will do my best to catalogue and keep this space organised. Most of my tags are organisational, they are placed to help myself and others finding the stuff they need to find.

1. What's radical feminism? ->Tag full of resources to explore on radical feminism.

-> here is a non-radfem article about choice feminism and why is bad.

-> another article on why choice feminism is bad, from a Black woman perspective

If you are curious about doing some feminism in your life I have the how to be a feminist tag.

2. Relationships tag -> This is compiled mostly for women who have relationship with men and want to lower their risk.

Here are my favourite non-radfem things, resources and opinions on the subject;

-> Zawn is a brilliant writer that tackle the inequalities in marriage and motherood. She is very active on substack and has a lot of resources for women in a long term relationship with men.

-> You should have asked is a comic about the mental load of work women have to do in a relationship with men.

-> She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink is a blog post made by a man for men that explains how this little non-action lead ultimately to his divorce.

-> Fair play is a method to address domestic inequality few people I know swear by.

-> Duluth model on abuse. Please read that carefully before dismissing it.

In the relationship tag there is also criticism on how this could work or not.

I now have a female separatism tag!

-> Some reflection on separatism and power

3. Tag Cloud! (hopefully)

-> self explanatory tags dedicated to these subjects.

4. How to connect to others? -> @nansheonearth her blog is full of resources of where to find others, Discord servers, how to visit womyn's land resources, IRL meetings and separatism in general. Check her out!

@rad-fem-zine with my own contributions:

-> my mom's story (medical misogyny)

-> Cybersecurity guide for cyberfems

5.My favourite essays.

-> I'm not here to make friends

-> The Ethical Prude

-> How to grow the fuck up, a guide to humans

-> The Gentrification of Disability (it explains how the neurodivergent movement is failing ADHD and autistic people, thanks to )

Also: I sometimes reblog things I don't agree with but I consider worthy of consideration regardless.

6. Still missing from this post:

Stuff over female separatism and how to practice it IRL to various degrees.

The actual tag cloud (Tumblr doesn't allow me to use js on the blog and god I'm going to beg the staff but idk)

Send me a message/ask if:

Want to know stuff about cybersecurity!

Have recommendations for this post.

[thinnestinthefriendgroup]

for the love of god, does anyone have any active pro 4na discord servers they could send my way? i miss being in them

[ask-obt]

A question for Woo. Would you enjoy an explorers DX getting revealed on the upcoming Pokemon Day?

// if this hypothetical proposes that this sort of explorers DX would be almost exactly the same in execution to rescue DX then I'd have to say................ no..............

before you bring out the pitchforks, let me explain myself. anyone who attends my streams or catches me in the wild in discord servers knows that I don't really like how the 3d games look. it's not as much a debate on "does pixel art or 3d models look better", but more "which style does chunsoft handle better", which I can sum up how I feel about in one screenshot

which is to say, my main problem with the 3D games is that the charm kinda got sucked straight out of them. it's true that pixel sprites have limitations- it's why we have portraits to more easily convey how characters are feeling, and your brain can fill in any missing details. but with 3D games, every aspect is able to be rendered out, and if you aren't going 100% all in, it's a lot more easy for the intended emotions to fall through. we have the ability to have pokemon emote like this now,

so why on earth is this the range that we're stuck with for PMD?

the simplest answer I can think of is that chunsoft is trying to apply the same strategy they used with sprites onto 3D models... which I think could work in theory, but not in the way they're applying it. as is, they don't have the models emote much and rely on portraits to carry the intended emotion through. the models also have some of the most stiff rigging I've seen in any game to date. I'm sure it has something to do with hardware limitations, but if that's the case I don't see why they couldn't create something that would fit their needs better like pokemon rumble's low poly models. well I know the answer is that they don't wanna actually render new 3D models for a PMD game and just use the library of models they got from gamefreak, but I like to think something like XY or ORAS's overworld models would make for a nicer looking game.

one pet peeve of mine is seeing folks praise DX for its unique look, which I think is true for the backgrounds!... but not really the models. I don't think putting an outline and paper texture overlay on the models is particularly revolutionary. it's a good direction to start, but far from peak aesthetic.

other problems I have with DX are how the main hub areas look (the grass for pokemon square is so blown out I have to play the game with lowered saturation and a darkened screen), and how the general UI looks in the dungeons. idk if it's because I'm neurodivergent or if it's just a "me" thing, but there's so much useless information being thrown at me at all times in a dungeon that it makes it really hard to focus on what's happening

I imagine this is mostly a side effect of losing the dual screen ability on the switch and I don't really have a proposed solution, but at least removing the text bubbles that come up every single time you get attacked or use a move would be a good start. maybe just save those for critical hits or smth idk, I don't really need to hear every single thought that comes out of my team.

I also think accessibility features like the auto-dungeon crawl feature are nice for those who want it, but it does feel a little overpowered by (seemingly) knowing exactly where the stairs are in a dungeon, which can take the exploration aspect out of playing the game. I'd also like the ability to disable that feature in a menu since I tend to misclick sometimes and accidentally activate things lmao

I just kinda tore into DX, but there are a few things I do like about it. the gummi system is vastly improved first of all (thank god I can stop grinding for one million gummis), and I think the dungeon environments are some of the best to come out of the series. I also think the models wearing scarves is super cute, I loved it in Super and am glad it made a return here. I'm sure there are other QOL features I'd like in theory but I kinda... didn't get very far in the game due to the aforementioned graphical and UI issues that felt like actual sandpaper to my brain.

if there was an explorers DX, I actually think one fun direction the series could take is something like pokemon cafe remix or paper mario, which is still the energy of a 2D game just using nice looking art assets instead of sprites. I just think a PMD game that looks like this could be really cute and charming...

and it'd probably be closer to chunsoft's wheelhouse since it'd take notes from how they put the sprite games together! just wishful thinking though. my current crack theory is that rescue DX was just to test the waters for how popular PMD still is and maybe to test out the engine on switch before releasing an original game, a la let's go pikachu/eevee to sword/shield. I doubt they'll make an explorers remake.

[milfbenji]

god i really miss having a discord server but I can never figure out a way to keep one active😑

[bokettochild]

Yet another anon, and a wonky one with a split perspective- because I am queer, and I was raised Lutheran, and while I still believe some things- I think God is real, I think Jesus was real, and I think they're still present- I do not call myself a Christian, and I never intend to ever again, because I have a lot of trauma associated with the Christians I grew up with. Is it fair for me to have a knee-jerk fear response to someone saying they're Christian? No. And I understand that well enough to put active effort into fighting that instinct. But somewhere in the back of my head, all i can think is 'this person is christian and proud of it, they must be like my old pastor, they must feel I'm a blight on god's earth and do not deserve to exist'.

My biodad told me I was devilspawn.

Is that fair? Again, no, this is my trauma getting in the way. But I do understand why some people might have had immediate defensive and even aggressive reactions to what sound like a server made for people to talk about how much we shouldn't exist. I'm missing context, I wasn't part of the Christian server and I'm almost completely inactive on the main lu discord, I Dont Know the details, but if a group of Christians in a fandom I'm more active in grouped up to talk with each other about how much they don't like people like me- i wouldn't feel safe, either. I'd probably leave the fandom entirely.

That's understandable, Anon, thank you for your insight!

Nobody wants to feel unsafe while enjoying fandom. Christians shouldn't be run out, and those in the LGBTQ+ community shouldn't be being treated like predatory monsters. We're all here to celebrate a work of fiction that has nothing to do with any of our beliefs, and with that in mind, the fandom should feel like a space were we can enjoy it freely.

Granted, if LU was a LGBTQ+ work, then yeah, it'd be fine to make the fandom be all about that. If it was Christian, same thing. It's not either though! It's gorgeous art and an exciting story! Something everyone can and should be allowed to enjoy together, regardless of lifestyle, views, politics and any other thing.

I think a lot of people are missing this. And I think nobody should be being run out.

[c1tyhaunts]

NOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

NAME :  xera.

PRONOUNS :  she / her / they / them

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION : 100% prefer discord over Tumblr IM - it's the best way to get in touch with me, and sometimes I love building servers with some of my partners to build dynamics if we have multiple muses - that stuff is a lot of fun and I adore the archiving aspect of it.

NAME  OF  MUSE(S) : the current roster (8) includes: terrah sparkz, lilah lyons, avian esparza, elvira "ivy" d'angelo, nache "che" ferraro, richard "ricky/jacket" fritz*, emmanuel "manny" calavera*, & ayati gadhavi* (* - denotes a canon character i stole from some obscure game, including: hotline miami (ricky/jacket), grim fandango (manny), and return of the obra dinn (ayati)

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ) : god i'm pretty sure since 2012 i've been RPing - from text RP via cell phones, to DeviantArt, to Forums, to Tumblr/Discord; I've been in the game for a minute.

BEST  EXPERIENCE : ohhhhh man, there's so many. and although some feelings have swayed throughout the years, I definitely think the connections I've made through the RP scene are the best part of it. I've genuinely made long time friends through this hobby - people who i talk to on the daily about their lives, people who i've gone to visit personally and hang out with. at the end of the day, the connections made are the biggest and best thing i can get from a hobby. to build a community with great people around me.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS :  to list a few specific ones (none are directly targeted, but I felt are relevant to me)

Deal Breaker: any weird hatred/blatant misogyny for fem/feminine ocs in the RPC. it's 2024 and i STILL be seeing people hate women or fem ocs so openly? why does this keep happening??? actually, scratch that - just general OC scrutiny drives me wild. most of y'all do know your favorite canon character is a OC who had higher production value, right? so why think most canons are better than ocs when we're all on the same playing field, ya know??

Pet Peeve: style over substance - i appreciate most aesthetics *motions to own blog* but i also have eyes that i need to read or see. I feel like i miss out on a lot of good blogs because i can't read their formatting on their blog or carrd and it's inaccessible :(

Small Pet Peeve: "I just go with the flow" - when I hear this, I usually see most plotting convos go dead in a matter of messages. lbr everybody, we all have dynamics or specific characters that catch our eyes or that we like. I'm so open about shipping and dynamics like, let's throw out something specific and see where that goes. THEN we can "go with the flow" but we can't flow without direction.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT : Yes.

PLOTS  OR  MEMES :   plotting for me personally - only because I work a full time job outside of tumblr, and i typically won't have time to always write up a reply to a meme or a thread. I adore plotting and world building with my partners especially via discord, so I'd highly prefer that so then it's easier (and motivates me!) to reply to our threads in the process.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES :   I unfortunately can't do short replies for the life of me - like some people can do one liners so well, but I need to set the scene & actions. So, usually medium to longer replies.

BEST TIME TO WRITE :    i try to reply to threads over the weekends (Friday, Saturday, Sundays) cause that's usually the times I have availability. On weekdays, I'd do memes or headcanons to keep activity up. My muse can be fickle, and although i love to write, I also love to write quality content for my partners so it will take me time.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S) : each of my muses have a little aspect of me in them (which is unavoidable if i have the passion to write them) but none of them are me 100%. GOD, I hope none them are like me or I'm like them. some of these people are a fuckin mess.

TAGGED  BY  :   stole it from bestie @abysswarden TAGGING :   YOU!

[flerow114]

Rating fandoms I've been in

-hetalia 4/10 this fandom is seriously fucked up now that i look at it but i had lots of fun there when i was 12. Still better than country humans

-warrior cats 7/10 stopped reading the books a while ago because they just weren't it anymore but maybe it's just that i got older. The only fandom I've ever wrote fanfiction for. A lot of great memories mostly from 2018-2020. Interacted with people mostly on Wattpad. Probably wouldn't go back but no regrets

-dreamsmp 4/10 conflicted because I cringe so bad when i remember how i used to act in early 2020 but then I've met SO many cool people on a Minecraft youtube discord server. I was never really into dnf (I've only read some fanfics)

-gacha life music videos and mini movies 6/10 oh god. Never made content, just watched it. This and warrior cats animations sort of created my music taste so. Aside from the weird wolf/angel hybrid princess OCs and gacha heat it was actually decent. I still watch gacha react from time to time 😢

-animation memes(2017-19) 7/10 I'm not a furry guys i swear. Tried making my own and i think looking at them now would cause me a cardiac arrest but back then i thought they were the shit. I even bought flipaclip premium and joined warriors m.a.ps.

-backrooms 8/10 does this qualify for a fandom? I hope so. Joined the reddit but i wasn't very active. I still take backroom-core photos sometimes but that's it

-marauders 9/10 currently in it. Never read Harry Potter (I've only seen the movies). I just read jegulus fanfiction and vibe.

-genshin 7/10 I've played genshin once(1) and I'm not looking forward to doing that again but i really like the characters. I don't know much of the lore so i mostly just read one shot fanfics of my favorite ships

-miss peregrine's home for peculiar children 6/10 i have been trying to finish this series since like 2 years but i just can't bring myself to do it, I'm stuck on book 2. Again like the characters and most of the story but i don't like how the author uses pictures instead of describing stuff. The fandom seems really small and half dead but i admire their passion to fight whoever thinks the movie is better

-omniscient reader's viewpoint 8/10 reading the webtoon and i hope I'll find time and motivation to start the webnovel. I love this series. Kdj my beloved. He's like a turtle that you can put in a terrarium and hand feed lettuce