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closer-stars · 5 years ago

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Gut Feeling (4)

Member: San Genre: Angst???? Just a lot of discomfort and tension tbh Word Count: 12k (what the actual--) Requested: Yes Content: Like what I said, lots of discomfort in this. Anyways yay tension. Food mention bec people need to eat. Idol life is messy as heck. :flashes a peace sign through the stress: Also roughly around last few weeks of inception going thanxx promotions lmao Note: One month later, Part 4 is here. Apologies for the late delivery, my mental health really took a dive with everything happening lately. Things are kind of looking up but not entirely. Also this idea really marinated in my head that’s why it’s so long... So much you could do with this prompt tbh. TY to @hwaberrykiwi @yeocult @yeochikin and @barsformars for dealing with out of the blue messages regarding this fic when I was writing-- disregarding the weeks long silence from me.... hahah ily i’ll link the previous parts after a day just so this could appear in the tags lol

Part 3

The past few days have been quiet. Nothing came up between the two of you since that night. Nothing came up but things have quieted down. You can only suppose that it’s because of how exhausting it has been. At least that’s what you think when you try to rationalize it to the strained schedules getting to him now. That’s the only way you’ve been able to keep yourself together in front of everyone, by rationalizing everything that feels off with exhaustion.

It works to a degree. The makeup covers up the lack of sleep beneath their eyes but it can’t add to the needed sparkle in their eyes. That’s where the ring lights come in. Everything physical can be fixed with makeup and lighting, that’s what the industry does. But emotional? That’s another thing altogether.

Things were technically smooth sailing despite the chaos. You still go home late, just not for the usual reasons. You still go home late when the members stay late in the studio but that isn’t often at this point. They’re still human, they need rest. On the other hand, Hongjoong still goes to the studio though not to the point where Seonghwa has to pester him to go home. You bring Hongjoong home often now. During this leg of promotions, it’s Yoon who brings them to the first half of their schedules, Bae brings them to the second half-- it’s not easy waking up at 4am just to bring eight boys to their schedules. You’re in charge when it comes to the late night schedules. At least this way, you don’t have to talk to them since they’re too worn from the day’s activities.

Hongjoong sits on the passenger seat next to you, busy eating the dinner you had bought for him. The ride home is quiet, just him munching on his much needed meal and the ice cubes in your respective drinks.

“Manager-nim?” He speaks up carefully.

You hum in response, still not tearing your eyes away from the road.

“Has San been okay?”

That catches you off guard for a moment. “As far as I know, yes? Did something happen?” Something that didn’t revolve around _that_.

He sips on his coffee for a moment, mulling over your words. “He’s just been in his head more often nowadays, I thought he might have talked to you about what’s on his mind.” He reasons softly against the lid of his cup. Now he’s not the type to force his members to talk to him about their issues, they do have a day where they gather and talk about concerns from the past week and the upcoming week. Despite that, there are some worries that can’t wait for the weekly session.

You hum in thought. That’s not good. “He hasn’t told me anything.” You return. How can he? He’s often at the farthest end of the car, slumped over catching up on rest. “Is there something I need to be aware of, Hongjoong?”

Your words cause him to laugh thoughtfully. “You’d think because I’m the leader, I’d know what’s on their minds…” He starts. “I don’t know what’s on his mind, much less know what could have happened. If he does tell you something that I might need to know...” He trails off, but you understand where he’s trying to get.

“I know.” You return gently. You had your doubts that he’d talk about it, especially to you. “Don’t push yourself too hard on it regardless. Though, I do think he talks to Seonghwa or Wooyoung about these kinds of stuff doesn’t he?”

“That’s true.” You can tell that the air in the car has eased a little and with that the rest of the drive has turned quiet.

Upon arriving home, Hongjoong slides off his seat, rearranging his things. Considering the two of you lived in the same building, it was still the two of you on the way up. Perhaps San learned this habit from his hyungs?

Now that you think of it, you wonder how San has been. You know how tired he is when there’s no cameras around but still he gives so much for the team.

“Manager-nim?” He says carefully while the two of you wait for the elevator to bring you to your designated floors. You respond with a soft hum. “If the boys start to act up, please tell me. I know you’re the manager but sometimes they get too much to handle, I can keep them in line too.” His words cause the corner of your lips to quirk upwards, touched by his worry.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong. I can still handle you boys.” You tease lightly as you shake off his concern lightly. When the elevator alerts the two of you that you had arrived at his floor, that’s when he realizes that you didn’t press your floor number.

“Hey--!” It’s moments like this that remind you that they’re the youngest in their families. At his complaint, you shoo him off.

“Come on, Hongjoong. You need your rest more than I do.” You wave him off, chuckling at his shocked expression. Maybe being someone who works behind the scenes had its perks even outside the work environment. He pouts at you, unable to argue and he bids you good night, thanking you for the safe trip.

--------

He arrives at the dorm, which was mostly peaceful save for the frantic clicking of the mouse and keyboard tapping. At least there wasn’t much yelling but he didn’t need to peek into their rooms to know that the guys were playing an intense League match. When he gets to his room, he’s greeted by Seonghwa doing his usual home training. At least he had a shirt on this time.

“I thought today was your rest day.” He said as he hangs his bag on the corner of his bed.

The other, still in the middle of a plank, manages to rasp out. “Habits. Hold on.”

Hongjoong lets him finish his set as he changes into something more fitting for sleep. From the way his hair sticks to his skin, Hongjoong could only guess that this was probably his last set for the night. “Go shower first stinky. We can talk after.”

Seonghwa looks at his roommate in a mix of fake insult and annoyance. “Say that to me after you do your laundry.”

He looks at his laundry that seems to agree with Seonghwa. He carries the basket to their washing machine. “Now go stinky.” He repeats much to the other’s dismay, already loading it into the machine.

After Seonghwa has done his usual lengthy shower-- seriously what does he even do? The two fill the other on how the past few hours went. Particularly, the talks with San and you.

Seonghwa starts it as he dries his hair with his towel. “San didn’t really say much. He was pretty vague about it, something about feelings and something about wanting a re-do.” It’s usually like that at the start for San, he noticed. Always at a loss for words until he lets himself be alone. Regardless, if there’s something he and Hongjoong have, it’s the sixth sense when it comes to the members.

The leader hums in response. It was a bit of an expected move from the younger one to keep to himself, he does see a little of himself in that kid. He wasn’t that successful in his conversation with you either. “Yeah, they didn’t really say anything with me either.” He does recount to the best of his memory the entire conversation.

The two of them sit in silence, both concerned over how this could affect the group. Seonghwa then sits up, eyes shining with alarm. “I think he confessed to them.”

Hongjoong stares at him, dumbfounded by how he reached that conclusion until he remembers how the members often tease him when you’re not around-- he didn’t really join in on it. How he seems to show off a little more whenever you’re around. It’s to the point he even waits for you after you park the car, none of them even do that. He buries his face in his hands, he knows how San takes rejection so harshly. It’s one of the reasons that propelled that boy to dance like his life depended on it. “And I’m guessing, they didn’t accept the confession.”

The words make the oldest wince. “Choi San….” Seonghwa groans, dropping his body onto his bed. The two of them realize that there’s a situation on hand and they’re not really sure if the other boys know. Some of them could, some of them might not. “We should probably ask Yunho or Wooyoung if he has said anything in the near future.”

Hongjoong nods at the suggestion, suddenly too exhausted to say anything else. “Let’s just get some sleep for now. We still have one more leg of Inception promotions this coming week.”

Seonghwa switches the lights off, knowing full well that once Hongjoong’s in bed, there’s no getting him out of it unless it’s the next day. “Sleep well stinky.”

“Whatever.”

-------- The Inception promotions end without a hitch… well as smoothly as it can. Considering that there’s now a quiet lull in between the promotions, the boys have been using the time to clean the choreography and eat. It’s not ATEEZ if there’s no food. You only entered the studio towards the end of their practice, slipping quietly to sit next to their stylist and Manager Bae as they fixed the last changes for their performances. The rest of the members are walking around the studio, breathing heavily after what was probably their nth run of their next promotions.

“You’re bringing them home?” You ask him as the stylists show you the plans for their clothes. You’ve seen some of these fits during the photoshoots and music video shoots but some of these were a first. You were sure the boys would look good in these. You take note of the changes, taking a few photos of the sets to transfer to your laptop.

He hums in affirmation, too busy keeping note of the changes they discussed while you were gone. You notice San’s the only one on the floor, everyone else already packing up their things.

“Are you going to stay late tonight?” You ask him, as he’s still on the floor, too exhausted to pull himself up.

“Probably not, I promised Yunho I’d play a few matches of League with him.” Silence falls on the two of you, either one unsure of how to continue the conversation, much less on how to end it. Why did you expect him to stay? For more, why did that make you feel a little heavy?

“Ah.” It was the only thing you could think of at that moment.

Your reply causes a pit in his stomach to sink. Without thinking, he returns the question for the sake of conversation, even though there was no point in it. He doesn’t know why he still wants to talk to you, knowing that talking to you only puts more strain to him. “Are you?”

At his question, you nod. A flash of confusion on your eyes that are immediately pushed aside for the sake of professionalism. “Yeah, I have to assist in the deals with the externals team. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You don’t give him another word, opting to end the conversation with a polite bow before making your way to the office. It wasn’t the whole truth, nor was it a whole lie. Regardless, you tear your eyes away from him.

Silence trails behind you and keeps San company for the next few moments. He winces to himself, not liking how things are going between the two of you. He pulls himself up when Yunho calls for him.

On the way out, you’re greeted by Seonghwa’s figure waiting for the rest of the boys. “Oh, hello Seonghwa.” You say out of surprise. “Not grabbing something to drink from 7/11?”

His eyebrows raise, not expecting someone to greet him at this time of the night. “Manager-nim!” He greets you with a tired smile. “Are you going home soon?” He asks, standing a little straighter this time. “And, I think we have enough drinks at home…” he mumbles though it doesn’t sound that convincing to you.

His question makes you smile a bit, but you shake your head at his question. “Unfortunately no. I have to do additional work to do with the externals.”

His eyes widen at your words. “Did we get more offers?”

His words make you mull over your thoughts. You know of one offer that’s already confirmed but you doubt they’ve been informed. “Let’s just say, you’re really staying true to the whole Back to Zero hint you’ve pulled during your Crescent Party.” You say with a chuckle.

He doesn’t get enough time to understand the hint you give him-- a taste of their own medicine towards ATINYs when they ask for hints. Wooyoung’s already calling him annoying nicknames to get him moving and you chuckle at the pained expression on his features. “Go home, Seonghwa. Don’t want Wooyoung to annoy you more. You’ll know this once the deals are finalized.” You bid him goodbye, sparing the boys a wave before retreating to your office.

--------

It’s already the middle of the second leg of promotions and you’re already at your last leg of energy. You probably need around two to three days to recover properly, at this rate. For now, you try to continue forward, the finish line is oh so near. You slip into the studio, not surprised to see the lights still on, but surprised to still hear ATEEZ at this hour. It’s a familiar sight in front of you: eight tired boys on the floor or slumped against the wall. Those with enough energy throw any apprehension out the window and change their tops in the studio.

“Are you staying late in the studio tonight?” You ask San as you check the time. The boys are already getting ready to head home, San on the other hand hasn’t moved an inch. He’s in his thoughts as he stares at his bag. Your question, though, brings him out of his head and he picks up himself up. It was a question out of habit, months of having done it over and over, it was still a challenge to curb such actions.

“Yeah. I need to clean my levels.” It only made sense that you’d bring home since you practically live under the same roof. Were you expecting him to say otherwise? Slightly. He doesn’t look at you but he makes his way to the computer again.

“San! You’re still staying?!” Yunho exclaims, he’s the last out the door to which San acts as if it was a normal thing.

He laughs at the shock on his member’s face. “Relax, I didn’t like my levels in the last run so I’m doing it again. Go ahead though, Manager-nim’s bringing me home.”

“Heyy, we all know that means you’re spending another three hours.” The taller returns with a whine.

You watch the two banter, a small hint of amusement quirking at your lips but you immediately squash that. You tip your head to quietly bring the attention back to what’s at hand. “Just tell me when you’re done, San. I’ll be at the office.” Without missing a beat, you excuse yourself out of the studio. Two pairs of eyes following your retreating figure until you disappear from their sight.

Once you leave, Yunho looks back at the male with a raised brow. “San.”

The other makes a disgruntled sound at the tone of his voice. He knows what that means but he just can’t get himself to talk to you still. The taller male leaves him be and his shoulders fall once he’s left alone. No matter how many times he runs the choreography does he find himself satisfied with his performance. He can’t put his 100% into this when a part of him still lingers in thoughts of you. The song still plays on loop but he stops dancing for a moment, trying to bring himself into slowly going through each count to focus on what needs to be addressed. It goes well for the most part but in moments where he needs to catch his breath, to ease his parched throat, his mind stumbles to you. He looks at the clock on the computer screen.

At least he didn’t hit the three hour mark that Yunho betted on.

He changes into something less uncomfortable than a sweaty shirt before stepping out of the now dark studio in search of you. He sees the office not too far from where he is; he takes a deep breath, one that he associates with exhaustion rather than apprehension as he walks to where you said you’d be.

He peeks into the office, seeing you with your fingers threaded to your hair as you write and pause for a moment to shift to your laptop. He stays there for a moment, watching you work in your own zone. He watches you work from time to time, but rarely does he see you scowl at your work. The way your eyebrows furrow at what’s in front of you makes him ponder over what could be giving you a hard time. Maybe he should’ve asked you about yourself as well instead of having your interactions be centered around him. You’ve had a few talks with him though mostly centered around his experience and you occasionally have to reign him in when he’s too caught in his emotions. He wonders if this is why you fell for Seonghwa. He shakes his head to shoo these thoughts before he starts looking like a stalker outside the office, so he knocks twice to get your attention. “Hey,” he trails off, clearing his throat. “Are you ready?” He asks softly, standing awkwardly by the door once you look at him.

You look at the clock. It hasn’t been three hours, well it’s nearly three hours but not quite. “You finished early. Give me ten minutes.” You note as you pack all your things.

He stays in his spot, eyes roaming the room, seeing small things that differentiate your space from the others. You had small post-its color coded over some sheets of paper that were unreadable from his spot, typical work essentials along with a small corgi plush the size of his palm resting next to a few pens. The small thing makes him smile for a moment, once he sees that you’re ready to get moving, it disappears. He lets you lead the way to the car, popping his earphones in for the long ride home.

It’s quiet for the entire ride home, except for the radio playing whatever the public has been into. You don’t look over at San to know that he has his earphones in, neither of you try to start a conversation. Maybe it was better that way anyways.

Once you parked the car, you shake his shoulder gently to wake him up. “We’re here.” He wakes up almost immediately unlike the past times where he makes it near impossible to wake him up. He raises his head, slightly disoriented with the scattered lights in the parking lot, he looks to the driver’s seat and you’re already out of the car. He hops out of the car, running his hand through his hair as he tries to wake himself up. The car beeps and you pull at the door to make sure it’s locked. Once satisfied, you walk around and find him already by the elevator. This surprises you but at the same time were you expecting anything else?

You put on your earphones as well, as you wait for the elevator to arrive. As much as he wants to get on the elevator first, he wasn’t going to let you be on your own at this hour. The doors slide open and the two of you get on, staying on two opposite ends. Your finger presses his floor, out of habit, then you quickly follow it with your floor number. The cool metal shows a hazy image of your reflection, nonetheless you take the chance to look at yourself. Even against this material, your exhaustion is clear. Your eyes linger to the blurry image of San through the walls and his slumped figure as he looks at his phone. Thoughts of how to mend the relationship bubble in your consciousness only to be popped by the elevator arriving at your floor. “Good night.” You say, out of respect.

“Good night.” He returns under his breath, and he waits for the doors to close behind you before he lets out the breath he’s been holding. Now that it’s just him, he lets out a long frustrated groan. Why couldn’t he get himself to talk to you? To clear things out? He never gave you the chance to explain yourself or himself. He just took your lack of answer as a no and admitted defeat. Would trying to get you and Seonghwa together mend his damn heart? He’s also selfish. He wants you. He doesn’t want to lose to his hyung but Seonghwa is also his hyung. He’s someone he respects and loves like an actual brother. Another turmoil in his head as he watches the number on the screen reach his floor.

He arrives at his room, greeted by the sight of Yunho playing League without him. “Damn, look at you. You don’t need me to hard carry you through a match.” San muses as he tosses his bag somewhere in the room. He doesn’t know if Yunho even heard him over the constant comments that the game makes over each kill. Regardless, he needs a shower.

---------

He comes back from his shower and Yunho’s headset rests on his shoulders, scrolling through the internet mindlessly. “Did you get to talk to them?” Yunho asks, his eyes haven’t left the screen-- probably watching someone’s gameplay.

San lets out a disgruntled sound as he dries his hair. “I didn’t get to, they had their earphones on.” Even to him, this explanation sounds weak.

Yunho pauses the video then looks at the male, clearly not buying his words. “San.”

“I’m serious.” San interjects, his face crumpling in discomfort. “Even in the hours of my practice, they were in the office the entire time.”

“You know, if you just said you weren’t ready to talk to them, that works too.” Leave it to Yunho to cut to the chase.

His bottom lip juts out at such a strong statement from his peer. “T-that’s one reason too…” He mumbles as he climbs onto his bed, defeated by how quick it was for Yunho to see through him.

The other male stays on his seat, leaning against the backrest as he watches the other. “There’s no rush, honestly but bro, you really need to talk to them soon. Your own good is for the good of the group too.”

His words make the younger look at him weirdly. He’s aware of how his heart is on his sleeve since birth but his words make him wonder just how evident his heart is. The look on his face makes Yunho laugh softly, as much as San does his best to look after everyone, Yunho still had the upper hand of being an actual older brother. It felt like he was talking to his younger brother with how confused San was. “It was kind of obvious that you couldn’t put yourself into the practice earlier San. None of us just commented on it because we know you.”

San falls onto his pillow, half his face covered by the soft material as he shoots rainclouds at the male who is clearly unaffected by his attitude. How can he? Yunho’s right. It’s obvious when he isn’t putting his heart into it. It’s obvious when he’s got something in his mind while he practices or performs. He didn’t want to affect the boys with his personal issues. While he isn’t ready to talk to you, he needs to find a way to separate his personal life with his work life.

His roommate looks at the bothered male with a sympathetic smile. “Let’s figure this out some other time, it’s 3AM we need sleep.” He shuts off his monitor, already making his way to the lights. In a few days time, their THANXX promotions would start. San’s going to need to separate his emotions soon. Maybe those acting classes would actually help.

--------

It’s D-2 before THANXX promotions and the staff had made sure the boys were eating right. You were grateful for the existence of yogurt and fruits, otherwise having the boys eat their vegetables would be a headache. They’ve been eating enough while making sure to leave room for their rehearsals. Today’s the last day of practicing in their outfits for the future stages. Thankfully, the clothes for the first stage were already ready.

You and the rest of the staff had marked the studio with colored tape, while those who were in charge of production already rehearsed how the cameras would move. Truth be told, you haven’t kept up with the news but with how the production team was moving, you could only assume that the cases were rising then dropping. The boys do one run in their stage outfits with little to no issues-- save for San having to pin his pants. Once that was all over, the boys talked with the stylists for any minor changes and reviews for this set while you and the others removed the tape from the flooring.

The same thing happens for the rest of the night: managers eating ahead, switching around to keep an eye on their rehearsals, the boys eating later on then back dancing and singing. Perfectionists but it is expected, this song was more in their comfort zone after all. You’re the last in the office again, Manager Bae bringing them home this time. Brand deals were your worst enemy but they were a high risk, high reward if done right.

You peek into the studio, seeing the boys already packing up. Manager Bae is off to the side stretching his back after hours of moving around. You toss the keys to him to which he catches with grace, much to the group’s entertainment.

San catches your eye and you glance over at him. Something in you hardens but you try to keep it subtle. “Heading home early?”

He’s caught off guard by the question. “Y-yeah, I’m heading home with them tonight. You don’t have to wait for me.” He answers after recovering his composure. He shifts his face to your direction but you don’t meet his eyes. Silence falls over the two of you for a moment. With that, you nod at his words.

“Is that so? Then, get lots of rest tonight. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” With that, you tip your head to bid him goodbye, shuffling away from him and into your office. You don’t give him time to ask if you were going home as well.

His eyes follow your figure as you quickly leave the room and something in him causes him to let out a sigh. He doesn’t have the heart to stop you, wanting nothing but to relieve his stress with a match or two against Yunho. Hell, even just sleeping doesn’t sound like a bad idea. He lets out another sigh, shoulders dropping lower than usual before he steps out of the studio as well, greeted by the sight of his fellow members, bustling about by the elevator.

Sometimes being quick on your feet had its perks, for example, you slipped away from the boys before they could see you scurry away to your office. Once you had arrived, you let out the breath you’ve been holding in since you left the studio. Now that you don’t wait for San in the studio anymore, your schedule has gotten a lot freer than expected. While this should be a good thing, your body isn’t used to it and ends up restless. You sink into your chair, looking through your to-do list. You should be accustomed to rapid changes, but this was a change you had trouble getting used to. For months, you did your work in the studio, while San practiced his dancing and singing. It was to the point where you gave up using earphones to focus and let San perfect his technique until it became white noise to your ears. Now, the silence was deafening. Earphones are popped into your ears, putting your music on shuffle.

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] Bringing the kids home today! You guys want anything on the way back?

You bring your phone up to your eyes, a frown on your lips as you think of what to reply.

[ You to Manager Chat ] Sweet Cream Cold Brew and chicken sandwich please? I’m staying in the office for overtime lol

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] Call.

You look at the time. It’s 9PM. He won’t be back until 10 or 11 depending on the rush. Hell, you realized that it’s been a while since you managed to catch a breather in the office. You could barely keep your focus so you end up looking through your phone, doing the routine clean up for the sake of your phone memory.

For the sake of your sanity, for once, you don’t push yourself to work at least until your (late) dinner comes in. You decide to call your best friend, in need of an ear that would listen because shit your thoughts are just a jumbled mess now. Her phone rings on and on, until you reach the familiar beep of a call untouched. You try again but you receive the same flat note. You tap the red icon on your phone and opt to send them a message.

[ You to Jiwoo ] Need to talk to you about some personal stuff. Nothing life threatening, just super stressed.

You put your phone away and stare at your emails and paperwork. If you can’t write something up, at least you can organize something right? It’s mindless work until Manager Yoon comes back. Jiwoo replies after a while.

[ Jiwoo to You ] Good that you said it’s not life threatening. I just finished watching a zombie movie. I’m free Sunday night/Monday.

Her life choices barely faze you at this point.

[ You to Jiwoo ] Smart choice to watch a zombie movie at night. I’ll be free by like… past midnight?

[ Jiwoo to You ] I’ll buy the soju. Bring mixers and some food.

You break into a fit of giggles at her words. A serious heart-to-heart talk was always capped off with a chill drinking session at her place.

You continue to organize your files, moving some of the files to a hard drive, especially now that some of these files were for the duration of Inception promotion. As you go through your files, you’re greeted by various selfies from the boys, some expected from twenty something boys, some looking very much boyfriend-dol of them. Most of them coming from Seonghwa and San, though San beating the older by a few more. You remember how the conversations always went; San would always ask which one was better, you always doubted the legitimacy of your decisions as usually the social media staff were in charge of that. He would pester you still for which one was better until you chose something. Now that you look at them with the current situation in hand, things slowly made sense.

A heavy sigh slips through your tired lips as you watch the bar fill up, waiting for all these documents and photos to be in your hard drive. You know some of these photos were going to be needed for their birthday videos and other special events so it was best to not delete anything. Somehow your need to organize everything overpowers the small part in you that wants to process and understand everything that happened between you and San.

“I’m back!” Manager Bae declares much to your surprise. You jolt up in your seat, surprised by his sudden presence and you look at the time. 10:15PM.

“No traffic?” You ask and your eyes trail to the food in his hand. He catches how your eyes look at the bag of food instead of at him to which he laughs, like manager, like idol after all. The older male places your food on your table before he settles down by his space.

“Surprisingly none,” he starts, while you rummage through the bag for your sandwich first. “The boys fell asleep fast in the car too so things went smoother than expected.”

“They’ve been constantly on the move since September, haven’t they? It’s bound to catch up to them.” You say before taking a bite. With your free hand, you skim through your documents and emails. “After this round of promotions, they have a show with Kakao plus acting offers already. It’s almost still full speed ahead for them, still. You told the boys of the acting offers already didn’t you?”

“Yeah, Yunho and Jongho are the most excited for it. Expected since they’re the most vocal about wanting to venture into acting.” You could already picture the looks on their face when their wish came true and it brings a small smile to your face. It’s moments like that that makes you think your work is worth it. A few minutes pass as you get halfway through your sandwich and Manager Bae stands up again, ready to call it a day. “Are you still working overtime?” He asks as he glances at the time.

You take a sip of your coffee, feeling a little awake from the gradual caffeine fix. “Yeah, probably just two hours more. I just want to finish all of these deals and stuff.” He looks at you with a hint of concern but nods. You were a stubborn one, not wanting to stop when the finish line is so close.

“Don’t forget you got the car keys for tomorrow’s schedule.”

That makes you pause to do the math of your travel time plus sleep. You have enough time if you keep to your schedule. With that set, you flash him a reassuring grin. “Duly noted with thanks. Get some sleep already, you’ve been on your feet since early morning.” You say as you wave him goodbye. He laughs at your choice of words but lets it be. With that, you’re alone again. Alone with your thoughts and your work.

Maybe silence wasn’t the best way to deal with this.

---------

[ You to Jiwoo ] Fuck it. I’m gonna send you voice notes of everything that has happened. Cause I swear if I don’t get this out of my system, I might just lose it.

You look at the text you composed for a few moments, you’re in bed now, drying your still damp hair. You remove everything and write everything down in your notes app instead. There were things that were better mulled about first instead of being spoken about recklessly. The blank message box taunts you to say something but you don’t. Instead, you put your phone away and ready yourself for sleep.

---------

You wake up to your phone buzzing reminding you of the new day. The last you remember of your hazy dream was San. [dream dialogue?] You’re not sure if that was a good dream or not, details fade before you could make more sense of what it was. Regardless, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth about today.

[ You to ATEEZ ] I’ll wait for you boys at the parking lot. Be there by an hour latest.

[ Seonghwa to ATEEZ ] frodo_thumbs_up

With his reply, you trust that the rest of them would know of your order. You finally get out of bed, getting ready to start what could be another long day. Once you look presentable, you make sure you have everything you need for the day. As you make your way to the parking lot, you look through your messages, and you feel a little better knowing that all your drafted proposals have been approved and are just waiting for the green light from the partners. This also means you have to give the boys the rundown soon. You sent a message to the manager chat of the updates.

The doors open and one by one the members enter, causing the van to roar to life-- in this case, not the engine. The sudden influx of noise startles you, nearly dropping your phone in the process.

“Manager-nim!” whines Wooyoung, who was seated right behind your seat. “Why don’t you pick us up from the dorm anymore?”

You reach behind you to pat his head, or well whatever you can pat more of. “Wooyoung, you boys are already adults..” You reason lightly, trying to keep your tone light. Unfortunately, your head is anything but light. How exactly do you make sense of a dream where someone who has feelings for you appears in them? Especially a talent. You’ve heard stories, rare that they ended on a good note too.

Those words bring some sort of feeling in San. A bitterness that not even his performance insecurities could bring. He had his earphones in, not wanting to talk to anyone this early.

‘San’s not a morning person for the most part, just let him warm up on his own.’

Manager Hwang’s voice rings in your head and it’s the only thing that’s trying to reason with your uneasiness. Once you’ve appeased Wooyoung, you count the boys to make sure they’re all accounted for before driving them to the company.

The car mellows down into quiet murmurs between those who were awake and in between awake and slumber. It felt like everything was back to normal for the most part.

Things go by like normal, stylists who you haven’t seen due to schedule changes have decided to gush to you over the latest gossip that you missed out on. At least they were nice enough to gossip with you after styling the boys, otherwise that would’ve been a disaster.

“Yes, so they disregarded their contract and are dating a fan.” The tone gives you an odd impression.

“You make it sound like this isn’t the first time he’s done it.” You note, frowning at such idea entering your mind. It’s the look on the stylist’s face that tells you you’re correct.

He sighs. “I’ve worked with them for a number of years, their contract states they’re not supposed to date for at least two years after debut. This boy doesn’t even cover it up while doing his work. I’m not one to shame an idol for dating, I’m worried for those who have to cover up his trail and his members if he gets caught.”

Your blood runs cold at that. It sounds all too familiar for you. But you don’t show signs of your fear to the stylist, knowing better than to talk about issues of the heart with that at a time like this. That said, you opt to just frown and sigh at such actions. It’s hypocritical of you but you couldn’t get yourself to act any other way. “I hope he gets his act together.” You mumble.

“Who gets his act together?”

Everyone jumps at the sudden voice and heads turn to the direction. You stand up immediately after calming your racing heart. “Wooyoung! Don’t scare us like that!” While your tone carries no hint of malice or disappointment, it does carry a tone of someone who is used to his antics.

Your nagging causes him to snicker. “Sorry for scaring you.” He starts, while giving the other staff members an apologetic bow. “Who were you talking about?” Leave it Wooyoung to sniff out the sauce.

At his question, you shake your head, flicking his forehead in the process. “Nothing that concerns you, Wooyoung. You’re done with your hair and make up?” You shift the topic to something else, much to the relief of the staff and your heart.

“Yes~” God, it’s so difficult to stay mad at this boy. You watch him shuffle away to change into his performance clothes then shift your attention to the rest of the boys who were just catching up on a few minutes of sleep while waiting for their call time.

Today’s stage for them was going to be pre-recorded as they had another guesting at the time the music show will air. You wake up those who were still asleep when they had thirty minutes before their call time. “Guys, get ready. You’re going to be called to perform soon.” You say softly, not wanting to scare them. This somehow gets them on their feet quicker than expected, you look around then you spot the camera pointed at their direction. As a reflex, you immediately cover your face and you’re thankful that San managed to step in front of you, now joking about with Wooyoung as they warm up. You take the chance to slip away from the camera and you watch from a distance as they get ready, right on time for one of the production staff to usher them to the stage as they hand them their microphones.

Once they bid their goodbye to the camera and make their way off to the sides of the stage, a part of you falls into unease. Seasoned eyes look around the room, trying to spot for anything that the boys may have forgotten. ‘Mingi didn’t forget his gloves, same goes for Wooyoung. Did Seonghwa not wear his choker…?’ You ask yourself questions, all of which were answered as you look around the room and the tables. A part of you wants to assume this is just your brain drifting to that weird dream you had and for once, you hope that this logical side of you is right.

The monitor in the room has you watching how the boys do their rehearsals, two of which were to get used to the stage difference, the last being for the camera work. Once all that was done, alongside the makeup retouches, they were ready for the final run. It’s not a surprise that the last run was better than the rest, you checked your phone, it would take them roughly ten minutes to get back to the room.

It’s been a while since they finished and you excuse yourself from the mindless chatter the other staff had busied themselves with. “Get ready to pack up already.” Your voice gentle but still holding authority as you knew of their schedules. Where were the boys? You step out of the room looking for them. It took a few moments until you did find them but they made no move of leaving their spot. Something in you forces you forward and you see one of the production staff members throwing their anger on them.

“Excuse me, did something happen?” Truth be told, you hate confrontations but this is part of your work. If this argument is stretched any longer, you fear that the boys would be late to their next schedule.

The staff member’s voice booms, bouncing off the walls, as he decides to lecture you on how to make artists be aware of their own mishaps with logistical matters. While he didn’t call you names, it was evident that his anger was starting to become misdirected. It’s a miracle how you managed to hold your ground amidst the tirade despite the storm brewing behind your eyes. So you smile, bright and easy against the man. “Yes, while I would like us to deal with this now, I have to bring these boys to their next schedule--” He cuts you off with another rant, and your features stiffen. As you were about to open your mouth, you feel someone’s arms block you. A few blinks try to get you back to reality and you look at the arm in between you and the staff.

Seonghwa.

Hongjoong and San are trying to appease the staff member. Your mind goes into static, you tell the others to go back to the room to pack everything up. “Meet you by the car. Your next schedule is an hour away. Let’s hope there’s no traffic.” You say and Yunho manages to reign the rest in to do as told. Afterwards, you shift your attention back to the staff and put the two boys behind you. “I’ll cut to the chase. Here’s my contact details.” You bring out your calling card and place it in his hands. “We can arrange damage fees by tonight. I apologize for the hasty end to this discussion but the boys still have promised schedules to fulfill.” You bow out of respect and apology and leave the scene. The three following you close behind.

You know the three are talking, over what? You aren’t sure. Your mind’s on auto pilot, overwhelmed with everything. The stress has been at an all time high for you but you always push it down, focusing on what’s in front of you. Yet, the staff’s outburst is probably the last thing that’s going to break you. A subtle pinch to your arm and you bring yourself back to reality. You check their dressing room and everyone’s already gone except for the boys who were just about to open the door. “Good, let’s go.”

---------

The trip to their radio guesting was bustling with confusion towards the angry staff as they try retrace their steps towards that event. You on the other hand, are just grateful for the lack of traffic, you’ll get to the next schedule with a few minutes to spare. Nothing from their discussion enters your ears, too focused into making sure that everyone gets to their destination in one piece. You can deal with your emotions and reactions when the day ends.

On the other hand, San’s been brooding about what has happened. Seonghwa and Hongjoong ask the members about the broken mic that fortunately lasted until the end of their performance. He didn’t like how things played out there. A lot of things are brewing in his mind, all of which were related to you and Seonghwa. His shortcomings of not responding immediately also being an additional burden. The staff’s outburst stunned everyone and it was Seonghwa who managed to respond first by stepping in between the two of you. As expected of the eldest. Hongjoong and him only snapped out of it after he moved. No wonder, you preferred his hyung. Something was swirling in his pit and it wasn’t anything good.

Before San could make sense of these conflicting emotions, the car smoothly parks and the doors slide open. “We’re here.” You state and you hop off the car. He blinks out of his thoughts and follows the rest of the boys. They’re greeted by a warmer group of staff who give them a rundown of what’s to happen for this guesting. They’re greeted by lunch sets with their names on it and that was enough to elicit excited chatter from them. When the staff informs them that they’re eating as well in front of the camera as they talk about their album, it gets only louder from there. Even it gets him flashing a genuine smile, they drop their bags off in the room before being ushered to where teh show will be aired.

You followed the boys and were greeted the same way they were greeted. You talk with some of the staff on the way inside, they hand you your lunch set and you stare at it dumbfounded. “I don’t remember this being part of the fee..” You mumble. The staff catches your words and she beams at you.

“It’s on us! We know you guys have been on your feet for so long, so we figured it would be good to give you guys something to eat.” She explains and it’s another whiplash of emotions in you. Maybe you do need a day off soon. You look at the woman in stunned silence for a moment before bowing out of gratitude.

As the boys do their thing in front of the cameras, you stay in the room, slowly eating the meal you were gifted with. Your confusing dream must have been a warning of what this day would be. With this hour to yourself, your mind wanders to the gossip earlier: an idol dating behind everyone’s backs, for the lack of a better term. You shared the same sentiments, idols should be able to date whoever they want, but it’s the disregard to their contract and group that stresses you out more. One way or another, it strays towards San’s confession and his avoidance. He’s a man with his heart on his sleeve, and a head more stubborn than a bull. Just who did he think you had an interest on? You were mindlessly picking at your food, before snapping out of it when you remembered that you were eating. It took longer for you to finish your meal, not used to these portions after months of being on the move but you managed. Your phone buzzes and it startles you out of the silence.

[Jiwoo to You] What time are you free

[Jiwoo to You] need your help on making a statement.

You stare at the messages in confusion. What is she on? Just as you were about to answer, you hear the claps and the choruses of ‘You did well!’, ‘Thank you for the hard work!’.

[You to Jiwoo] three hours.

[You to Jiwoo] what happened?

You keep your phone and clean up after yourself just in time for the boys to enter the room with the same staff member telling them that the meal is free. The director follows them and thanks everyone for the successful shoot, thanking you as well for taking care of the eight boys. The praise catches you off guard and all you could do is laugh softly and thank them for their words and work.

Everyone could feel the end of the day’s schedule when they hit the road back to the agency. The boys were still in their stage outfits and they wanted nothing but to be in something more comfortable. For once they weren’t fast asleep in the car, they were too busy eating still (is there even a limit to their appetite?). All you could hear was their chewing and occasional excited yelling because of how kind the staff were to provide them with food and just let them talk about their album freely. A part of you smiles as they recount the last schedule. Let them have their fun before they end up talking about that damned mic. You had to admit though, hearing them eat is kind of making you hungry too.

“We’re here.” You state and everyone’s surprisingly finished with their meals. They’re that hungry? They hop off the car and rustle about to return into their regular clothes. They had to return these clothes to their stylists to prep them for the succeeding weeks of performance.

Once they’re greeted by their stylists, the environment suddenly booms with energy. Food really does something to these eight boys. It takes a while before you’re greeted by them in their normal clothes again. Their makeup long gone as well. They look like regular twenty something like this. Manager Yoon exits the office, taking the keys from you, the swift work surprising you.

“Hey!”

“My turn, remember? Hongjoong is staying late tonight..”

You pout, sometimes being the youngest in a company makes it easy for your seniors to tease you. After his words, you nod. “Alright, just give me the keys when you get back.” You wave the rest of them goodbye, and you look at Hongjoong who’s just leaning against the wall. “Are you going to stay late to work on music?”

He flashes an apologetic smile. “You need our side of our story too.”

This was going to be a long day but it had to be addressed. You just hope it would end with enough time to get to talk to Jiwoo.

The next few hours went by with the two of you trying to clear everything. Hongjoong recounting everything that had to deal with the microphone before the staff’s outburst. He even apologizes for you becoming the victim to those words.

“Hongjoong, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize for something you didn’t do.” You counter gently. You just wanted your bed, to just retreat from today’s events. You can write up an email to the staff in the morning.

“It’s still our fault, regardless, that you had to deal with that.” Hongjoong returns, he’s not angry at all. On the contrary, he’s frustrated. Not only does he have to deal with schedules on top of schedules, composing, and San’s emotions, he had to deal with an unnecessary outburst that shouldn’t have been directed at you.

You just flash him a smile, dropping the topic. “Anyways, I’ll relay this to the staff in the morning. Manager Bae will be in charge of your schedules tomorrow.” You look at the time, only half an hour before Jiwoo calls. “Let’s get going?”

The ride home is quiet as well, at least the silence isn’t stifling. He busies himself with his phone, looking through anything new that has happened in social media. You look at the clock from time to time, a little bit worried for your friend who would call anytime soon.

“Are you okay?” Hongjoong asks, his voice snapping you out of your anxious state.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He doesn’t need to deal with your own issues. “Can you keep an eye on my phone? I’m waiting for a call.” You ask just in time for the light to turn green.

He spots your phone, leaning against the cup holder and puts it on his lap as he goes through his phone. Fifteen minutes in and your phone suddenly vibrates in his hand. He looks at the screen and reads the name out loud. “Jiwoo is calling you..” He says, a little confused if this is the call you were waiting for.

An annoyed hiss slips from your lips. “Pick it up.” It was inevitable.

“I’m driving.” You state, asking for a few more minutes. Voice a little louder, to carry over to your phone.

“I’ll be quick, I need your help making a statement.” Her voice rings loud and clear. You look at Hongjoong, he probably put it on speaker. You shoot him a look to keep quiet.

“On what?”

“Fans found out one of my idols is dating and have been emailing the agency nonstop. I made a draft already and I need your eyes and thoughts to fix any errors.” She says and you rub your temple with your free hand.

“Send the draft to my email. I’ll get to it in forty five minutes. I’m on my way home.” You state, as you drum your fingers against the steering wheel. “I’m guessing this is what the staff was talking about earlier.” You say though a little softer.

“You know how word travels fast in this industry.” She returns with a groan. “Call me when you get home, I’ve sent the email already.”

“Will do, bye.”

She hangs up and you let out the breath you’ve been holding. The silence that hangs over you and Hongjoong is heavy. “Whatever just happened, is between us. If the others find out about it, let them find out about it themselves.” You rarely sound this stern and stressed that all Hongjoong could do is nod.

Maybe that was why you rejected San. Jiwoo was right, word travels fast in this industry, it’s why he always has to make sure the boys don’t go out of line too much for their sake. He lets them learn from their mistakes but none of them grave enough to affect their name. This one though seemed heavy, especially if fans were emailing the company already. He was going to need to talk to someone though to know how to deal with San should things go out of hand. But how can he when you tell him not to with such a tone? Hell, you don’t even know that he knows that San confessed to you.

Once you enter the parking lot you unlock the doors. “Get out of the car already, so that once I park the car smooth ride up to our apartments.” You say, a little gentler this time as you seem to have calmed down after such a bombardment of information. He looks at you with raised brows but follows nonetheless.

By the time you get out of the car, you see Hongjoong waiting for you with the doors already open. An odd weight falls between the two of you as the doors close.

“Is that why you rejected San?” Hongjoong carefully asks as the elevator slowly goes up.

Your eyes are shut as you let yourself catch a breather before answering his question. “You know already, huh.”

“Seonghwa and I kind of figured it out with his sudden mood shifts.” He reasons. “Yunho figured it out too but I doubt the others do yet.” He adds.

A groan slips from you and you want nothing to just slip down the floor. “Can we talk about this confession thing when your Thanxx promotions end?”

“That’s too far..” He tells you. For once, you can see why the members look up and respect him so much.

A pause.

“Fine, Monday. You have no schedules anyways.” This makes him smile a bit. The sooner this is fixed, the better. The conversation is fortunately, cut short when the elevator rings at your floor. “Get some sleep, Hongjoong.” You bid him goodbye as you step out.

He calls for your name carefully and you stop in your tracks. The lights from the elevator hasn’t closed either so you turn to look at him properly. “Thank you really for everything. You can lean on me or Seonghwa at least, for anything.”

Something in you softens at those words and you nod. “Yes, sleep well Hongjoong. Manager Bae’s going to be the one in charge of your schedules in the morning and afternoon.” With that he waves you goodbye, the doors closing between the two of you.

Once you were left alone, your eyes heat up but you shake yourself back to reality. “Still got work.” You remind yourself.

You don’t know what time you fell asleep, but it’s already noon. “Shit.” You immediately check your laptop if you’ve sent the revised statement to Jiwoo that you worked on. A relieved sigh escapes your lips when you see that you did. You reviewed your emails and see if there’s anything you need to get done. For the first time, you don’t have much to deal with so you check on your social media to see what’s been going on.

The idol that Jiwoo was stressing over last night is trending.

You stare at his name for a few moments, deciding if you should check what the noise is about or what the fans have been saying but you think otherwise. Instead, you opt to get ready for what’s left of the day before heading to the agency.

--------

The boys were on their phones while waiting for their call time. Some of them playing video games while the others look at social media. They see a familiar name on the trending topics and decide to see what’s going on.

Seonghwa immediately leans to Hongjoong and shows the news to which the latter winces. He looks over at San and he and Wooyoung are also looking at the same post.

“Should I message him?” Wooyoung asks, he glances over at the older two when he feels their gazes on him. “Did you see the news too?”

“Yeah. Check on him if you can.” Seonghwa gently urges, worried also for their friend. Truthfully, the rest of the group wasn’t that close to that idol but considering Wooyoung, he’s bound to have some sort of friendship with him.

San’s busy in his head, mulling over the news. They just resigned. Their friend resigned over being caught in a dating news. His eyebrows are furrowed, deep in thought as he’s just as worried as his friend but he’s worried also for you. For some reason, even when he tries to avoid you, his thoughts still go back to you. How many messages has he composed that he would delete? How many times has he tried to get himself to act normally only to fail and close himself off from you?

Hongjoong keeps his eye on his two members, clearly with their own problems regarding the news. He knows one will be fine, but the other… it’s hard to say. He looks over at Seonghwa who’s a little bothered by the entire thing as well. “We need to talk to Manager-nim later.”

“I’ll handle it. Think you can handle San for the time being?”

“Yep.”

--------

[Jiwoo to You] well fuck, regardless of the statement, they just resigned.

It takes a moment for you to understand what she was referring to but once you did, you freeze up. It’s like all your biggest fears were coming true, though not for you, it’s right in front of you.

[You to Jiwoo] drinks this weekend? Your place?

[Jiwoo to You] call.

You were going to put your own problems on the back burner for now. This girl probably had to hold so much together thanks to that guy and now things aren’t getting any better until probably months down the line. Too busy in your own thoughts, you accidentally spill water on yourself. “Please.” You murmur to no one in particular as you wrap your jacket around your waist before cleaning up the mess in the kitchen.

--------

[Seonghwa to You] Are you free later? I think we need to talk about San.

And here you are thinking you were their manager but then again, the age difference makes it easier for them to see you as their friend after work. You lean against the back rest of your chair.

[You to Seonghwa] Yeah, free by 6pm. I’ll wait for you.

Seonghwa shows the reply to Hongjoong and they relax a little. They need to know what you think of San because it was starting to get clearer that you never gave him a definite response to his feelings.

You stare at your messages, even going as far as reading through your conversations with San which consisted of various topics and banter-- with the occasional fishing for praise from him.

Why were you so affected by his feelings?

You spend some time watching some of the videos he has of the members having fun, you could clearly hear his laughter on one of them and it makes you smile a bit, missing that sound a little too much.

It takes your phone buzzing with another notification to snap you out of your thoughts. “Ah, two more hours.” You note at the time, not really looking forward to your talk.

[You to Seonghwa] do you want me to get you something to eat as well? Lol

[Seonghwa to You] hehe please?

[You to Seonghwa] lmao, fine.

Still a kid at heart, really.

--------

If the food you have on the counter from 7/11 says anything, it’s that you decided to wait for Seonghwa before eating, and that you’re prepared for his appetite.

[You to Seonghwa] I’m at the office kitchen.

[You to Seonghwa] I also have meat.

[Seonghwa to You] ^^*

His reply makes you snort, already picturing his excited grin at the mere mention of meat. It won’t be too long before they arrive at the office. The door opens mere minutes later and while you expected the room to suddenly boom with noise, it was only Seonghwa who entered the room. He catches the look in your eyes and for some reason wanted to tease you about your feelings but now isn’t the right time for that.

“Relax. Everyone else is just changing and getting ready to head home. I told them I’m staying behind to do some vocal practice.” He knows you well enough to know that you need the complete story when it comes to their schedules. Also because it’s not the complete truth.

You sigh in relief and gesture for him to sit and eat already. “Let’s talk about it when everyone else is gone.”

“No one can hear us here. The room next to us is the gym, the room next to the gym is the studio so you’re fine.”

“Seonghwa.” You say, still a little tense with the mere idea of the boys walking in on your talk.

“You can’t push this away forever.” He cuts you off, his voice taking on a little bit of strength that surprises the two of you. The look on your eyes makes him look away as he starts to eat. “I’m sorry about the tone but I’m serious. You can’t push this away and think it’ll fix itself.”

Silence falls on the two of you as you unpack your meal. You let go of the tone slipup, he was right and you doubted this issue could wait for Jiwoo. So while you wait for your respective meals to heat up, you tell Seonghwa what happened: starting from the small things San would do since your first day up until the moment he confessed to you. You admit that you were stumped into who he would think that you would fancy as you have inevitably been stuck to them since their promotions started.

That’s one thing Seonghwa didn’t expect, sort of. San’s jealousy is something everyone’s familiar with but jealousy in the aspect of romance wasn’t something Seonghwa expected in this situation. It actually makes him forget that his meal is still hot, causing him to slightly burn his tongue from the unexpected temperature spike. At the sight of his blunder, you hand him a glass of water to which he refuses as he struggles to chew the hot piece of beef. You decide to just watch his struggle as you sit there and eat your food.

Once he succeeds, he takes a few sips of water. His eyes clearly watery from the pain. “Are you okay or do you need a moment?” You ask him, trying to hide the fact that you were amused by his struggle to regain his composure. He finishes what’s left of his water before he turns his attention to you.

“Did you ever tell him your answer to his confession?” He asks you and it’s the way your shoulders drop that tell you that how you answered or lack thereof is the reason why San is the way he is. “You didn’t tell him that you like him too?”

Now’s your turn to choke on your food. You stare at him incredulously as you try to regain some sort of control with your food mishap. “W-wait..” you sputter out as you try to catch your breath. It takes some time before you’re able to breathe normally and eat. “I never said anything about me liking him?”

“You never told him?”

“How do you even react to someone who tells you they like you while nearly about to fall asleep while standing?”

“I don’t know…” he trails off, gathering the right words in his head, just as he was about to continue, the door swinging open causes the two of you to stop.

“Didn’t know you guys were still here.” To be honest, you didn’t think San would be in the studio either.

“San-ah, I thought you went home with the rest of the boys already.” Seonghwa says, straightening up as he sets his food down. The younger catches how his hyung’s eyes flit to you then to him.

The younger steps inside the kitchen, refilling his water bottle. “I didn’t. I wanted to squeeze in a workout. I thought you left already.” He returns. All you want to do right now is leave the room. He turns to the two of you once his bottle was filled and it’s unnerving to see his eyes look so steely.

“I was going to leave later but we can go home now.” Seonghwa returns calmly. His eyes return to you trying to look as if he was asking if they can go home. You knew better, the talk was going to happen some other time. With that look, you quickly finish your meal, then packing up the trash.

“Sure. Let’s go home.”

---------

The ride home wasn’t any better: both of them busy with their phones, both sitting at different sides of the car. At least you had full control of the radio.

Now in San’s eyes, he wonders why Seonghwa would’ve said he was going to do some vocal practice when he was eating dinner with you in the kitchen. He didn’t think of his hyung as someone who would lie. He’s better than that isn’t he? The younger does feel a sense of annoyance though, that he would say such only to go behind their backs and eat with you. He’s trying hard not to think of the worse of his hyung knowing well that he’s the better option between the two of you, but with the recent news of their friend resigning due to dating along with his feelings for you? It’s a challenge. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, doing his best to calm himself down.

“San-ah, your shoulders are tense.” The older’s soft voice calls him out of his thoughts and it effectively gets him to drop his shoulders. Seonghwa looks at the other for a moment then returns his gaze to his phone. He worries of what goes on in his head especially after seeing the two of you in the kitchen. He genuinely didn’t think that San would stay late especially during promotional periods. He worries that he may have made it worse for everyone, especially him and you.

“We’re here.” Your voice makes the two raise their heads from their screens. The cold lighting of the parking lot telling them that they are home. You hop out of the car first, waiting for them to get out while making sure you got everything with you. Seonghwa goes ahead, hoping that the talk (or whatever was talked about) makes you move.

San does it for you though. “So I guess I got my answer?” He pipes up, lingering around you. His gaze beyond you but at his hyung who’s waiting for the lift. Your confused look makes him hiss in frustration. His reaction makes you snap, too tired from all the mental gymnastics you do, too tired from bringing them from point A to point B day in and day out, too tired from keeping yourself together for their sake, for your friend’s sake and for yourself.

“San, how sure are you about it? All of it? You’re confusing my care for something else. Everyone is worried about you, I have to worry about you as well and while I am your friend, I’m still your manager. At the end of the day, my job is to make sure you guys are able to do your job as artists.” Your blood runs cold at how those words rush out of you, you could barely look at him. The only thing you can hear is your heartbeat and the car’s security lock. “San, how sure are you about my feelings? How are you filling in the blanks that I should be filling?”

Those words make his feet move, leaving you in the dirt as he walks over to where Seonghwa is. For a moment, you feared that he would get physical-- boy has a black belt after all. He doesn’t. He just lingers by the back, waiting for the lift. He should’ve done a more strenuous workout just so his mind would stop running.

Seeing him look like so makes you sigh. You had to admit your faults on that, you’re just so tired. You promised your day off would be after promotions but you kind of wish you could make it earlier and have it this week. By the time you arrive at where the two are, the doors of the elevator opens letting the three of you in. You don’t press your floor number first, letting the boys get their rest first. You’re getting additional hours of sleep today anyways.

“Good night.” You mutter as the two of them step out of the elevator. Seonghwa returns the greeting and so does San. Though one looks back and gives you a friendly wave, the other stalks off, shoulders just as tensed as it was earlier. You look at Seonghwa and shake your head. That’s all he needed to know as to how the mere moments he was out of earshot went.

“Joong and I will deal with him. Get some rest and think it through. We still need to talk again.”

“Yeah.” You just hope you didn’t fuck it up for everyone. Something in your gut told you otherwise.

Part 5

#ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez san #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez writings #ateez scenarios #bro it's been more than a month since i posted something #weeks since i wrote something properly #lmao pandemic tingz #anyways have this #the mere idea of not being able to talk out your issues just because youre so busy is Stressful in itself holy fuck #my writings

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shoutogepi · 5 years ago

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Shoutogepi’s Prompt Party

Hi my sweet followers! I hope your day is going alright. I am making this post as a “thank you”, I guess, for supporting my blog. I’ve been meaning to host this event for a while now, and I had to push it off due to finals, but it’s finally here!! Yay!!

I started this blog what seems like not so long ago, and I posted my first story around the beginning of February. Since then, I’ve gained so many wonderful readers, and I wanted to do something to show that I cherish all of you. Without further ado, let’s celebrate together!!

<3 Rosie

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Please send me an ask containing the following information:

one headcanon prompt of your choice from the provided list (please include at least the letter of the prompt category and the corresponding number)

up to two of the following characters: Shouto, Bakugou, Kirishima, Tamaki, Kaminari, Hawks, & Shinsou

an emoji (or a few) which conveys how you feel about my work (it’s a give and take here lol). a short lil sentence will suffice just fine as well if you’re feeling generous :)

a great example to follow: “B8 (going skinny dipping) with Bakugou and Hawks! 🌶👅”

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞

This event begins as soon as this post becomes available.

Asks that do not follow the instructions will automatically be deleted.

Asks that are not submitted on anon must be limited to 2x per blog.

Each hc will range from 1-3k words, depending on the # of characters.

Posts related to this event will be tagged with “#SPPEvent”. If you do not want to see posts from this event please blacklist this tag!

If I receive more than 2 asks for the same prompt, I will not accept any further requests for that same prompt. (I will be editing this post and crossing out said prompts this occurs with as quickly as I can, if this does happen!)

Please know that this is not my day job (I wish it was!!), so while I’m going to try and respond to the majority, I cannot ensure I complete every request. I do, however, appreciate all requests I receive and will try my best to answer them!

Change of original plans; I may not begin replying to asks until as late as Friday night (May 1) due to unforeseen work issues. But I promise I am reading through all asks and am definitely excited to answer them!!!

The event is scheduled to end SATURDAY, May 2, 2020 at 9PM EST, provided that I do not receive an overwhelming number of asks. If that is the case, I will edit this post at some point before said date. If you’re unsure as to if the event is still open, please check my bio!

I wanted to reiterate that I really do appreciate each and every one of you guys, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for providing the feedback that you do. Without your kindness, I would have stopped posting content long ago. 🥺💘🥰

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬

A: SFW prompts

(1) His reaction to his crush asking to borrow his clothes (2) His reaction to his crush giving him a birthday present (3) Cooking for his s/o (4) Taking care of his sick/exhausted s/o (5) Asking his s/o for “5 more minutes” of morning snuggles (6) Getting caught in the rain with his crush (7) Having a spa night with his s/o (8) Discovering his crush has mutual feelings for him (9) Ice skating with his s/o (10) His reaction to his crush asking him out (11) Going on a first date with his crush (12) Accidentally hurting his s/o while training/sparring (13) His reaction when another guy gives his s/o flowers (14) His reaction when another guy asks his crush out before he can (15) Realizing he’s forgotten his anniversary or s/o’s birthday **please specify which event** (16) His reaction when his s/o bursts into tears in the middle of a quarrel (17) Going inside a haunted house/maze with his s/o (18) Winning his crush a prize at the fair (19) Watching a horror movie with his s/o (20) Taking care of his s/o after they get their wisdom teeth removed

B: prompts somewhere in between SFW & NSFW-- I’ll decide ;)

(1) Accidentally picking up the panties that fall out of his crush’s laundry basket (2) Smoking weed with his s/o for the first time (3) Playing “spin the bottle” with his crush (4) Playing “strip twister” with his crush (5) His reaction to his s/o executing the TikTok naked challenge (6) His reaction to seeing his crush in a bikini (7) His reaction to his crush teasing him while training/sparring (8) Going skinny dipping with his crush (9) His reaction to his crush inviting him to Netflix & chill (10) Going into a lingerie store with his s/o (11) Getting turned on from his s/o wearing something that shouldn’t turn him on but does (12) Receiving a lap-dance from his crush as a dare (13) His reaction to his s/o licking up their melting ice cream (14) Protecting his crush from a creeper at the club (15) Popping a boner when his s/o ties their hair back (16) His reaction to his crush seeing the lube he accidentally left out (17) His reaction to his s/o touching his naughty bits in public (18) Teasing his s/o with his tongue piercing (19) Accidentally sending his crush a risqué photo/nude (20) Drunkenly making out with his best friend he didn’t realize he had feelings for

C: NSFW prompts

(1) Using a remote-controlled vibrator on his s/o (2) Getting edged for a long time by his s/o (3) Getting his ass eaten for the first time by his s/o (4) His reaction when his s/o reveals they have a breeding kink (5) Punishing his s/o for being a brat (6) Receiving a blowjob from his s/o during a phone call/zoom meeting (7) His reaction to his s/o calling him “Daddy” (8) Receiving a risqué photo/nude from his best friend/crush (9) Discovering that his crush watches his weekly camshow (10) Sending a risqué photo/nude to his s/o (11) Receiving drunk, horny text messages from his crush (12) Catching his crush masturbating while moaning his name (13) Eating out his s/o **please specify ass or pussy lol** (14) Getting pegged (taking that strap) by his s/o for the first time (15) Asking his s/o to tie him up and play with his ass (16) Accidentally eating an aphrodisiac and begging for “help” from his crush (17) Trying out wax play with his s/o (18) Getting caught watching a risqué porn by his s/o, who wants to recreate the scene (19) Fucking his s/o while they have a toy in their ass (20) Begging for their s/o to use their quirk on them **either include the s/o’s quirk or I’ll make one up**

#SPPEvent #my first event yayyyy :D #im so excited!!!!#MAKE SURE U FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS #I WANNA REPLY BUT I CANT IF I DUNNO WHAT U WANT

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choruscas · 5 years ago

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suptober day 07: domestic

please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list! (or removed if you prefer) it tags you in all my short stories like these so you never miss them!

doctor!castiel, mechanic!dean, parent!deancas by the way, i’m a complete and utter sucker for parent au’s and domestic fluff so this is what i interpreted with the prompt.

“Claire and Jack Winchester! Your ride is here!” Mrs. Thacker, the third grade teacher of the school called out.

Carrying their big backpacks on their little bodies, Jack held Claire’s hand across the parking lot and into their Chevy Impala. The crisp air made them tug at their jackets harder and pulling their gloves tighter.

The chatter spoke behind them as they opened the car door, Jack helped Claire hop in and then quickly ran to the other side.

It was October 7th, a Friday. Monday was Columbus Day so school was out so they got an extra day weekend. The best kinds of weekends. Next week would be a four day week, which was an extra treat when it came to days off.

“Hello, Claire! Hello, Jack!” Castiel turned around in his seat, looking at his children with such joy. They both were adorable kids.

“Hey kiddos.” Dean said at the same time, looking up at the mirror, making sure they were buckled in before he began driving. Claire had just learned how to do hers correctly, which both dads were grateful of.

“Hi daddy! Hi papa!” Claire said to Castiel, then to Dean, her platinum blonde hair bouncing and shining in the light from the sun.

Jack had also said his greetings to his parents and stuffed his backpack on the floor, unzipping the front compartment and grabbing his red folder out. The words “Jack Winchester” were on the top written in Sharpie, in neat handwriting, presumably Mrs. Thacker’s.

“How was school?” Dean asked, looking at the both of them through the rear view mirror again.

“It was a-muh-zing, papa!” she called out in a sing-song voice, her little sneakered feet kicking her seat.

“Here, dad,” Jack handed the folder over to Castiel just as they were reaching the road. “It’s my weekly folder. I’ll give it back Monday.”

“Actually, you’re not going to school Monday!” Castiel told them, smiling with a wide grin at the both of them.

“Yay!” They both exclaimed in unison. Although they were two years apart (Jack being in third grade, Claire being in first) they were still connected like twins.

The husbands exchanged glances and Dean had realized they weren’t holding hands, so he quickly changed that. The red folder sat in Castiel’s lap that he will look at in just a second, as soon as he was done talking with his children. A blush appeared on his face when Dean reached up his hand and placed a chaste kiss on Castiel’s knuckle. That caused an ‘ewww’ from both children in the backseat. Afterwards, the family smiled, causing a glow in all of their hearts that they shared without communication.

The Winchester family was a small one, but with their large hearts combined, it was filled with love and compassion that all four of them had for each other.

“And we have another surprise.”

“Are we going to McDonald’s?” asked Claire.

“Burger King?”

“Are we surrogating another baby?”

“Woah!” Now that caused a ruckus out of the couple. No way were they having another one. They decided two was

. “No, ma’am.”

“Aw. Okay, daddy.” Claire fake pouted, and Castiel reached back to pinch her nose to cause her to giggle.

“We’re actually going to California!”

“We’re seeing Uncle Sammy and Aunt Jess?!” Jack exclaimed, his face and body peeking up in excitement.

Dean nodded, a smile wide across his face. He squeezed tighter on Castiel’s hand. This was the first time in a while that they were all able to go on a vacation, more specifically to California, as Castiel’s job as an oncologist had really pulled a strive on the family.

Often times he worked the night shift and would be asleep by the time Dean had dropped them off at school. Oddly enough, school started at seven in the morning for them, but Dean’s mechanic job didn’t start until 8:30. So he would come home — since the school was simply five minutes away from their house — and make Castiel breakfast and black coffee. He would enjoy that little time with his husband of twelve years for about an hour before he needed to head out.

Castiel wouldn’t admit this, but he feels extremely guilty for how his job has distanced the family and his relationship with Dean. The whole family was still strong and compassionate, but Castiel not being there at night and in the mornings affected it greatly.

Castiel has tried to keep it hidden, but crying into Dean’s shoulder after a long shift was a common thing between the men. Sometimes Jack and Claire talked to their dad about how they feel like they only have one dad, and it completely broke his heart.

Finally, Castiel had gotten a little bit of a break. Perfect timing, considering it was on Columbus Day weekend. He cried tears of joy when he was finally able to relax.

“Yes! Aren’t you excited?” Castiel replied, joy bubbling in his heart. He loved his family so much, as they have all three changed him for the better. He had never had a family like this, so he promised himself to keep it special forever.

The children began chatting amongst themselves, predicting if Jess’ baby would be a boy or a girl, and if so, what their names would be. The whole car had a good belly laugh when Claire blurted out the name “Princess” for a girl with a straight face.

Holding on tighter, Dean smiled over at his husband with a proud look in his eyes. They were good parents with amazing children and an even better family altogether. They had done it.

Domesticity at its finest.

(tags below)

@potato-painter

#deancas #destiel #dean winchester #castiel winchester #claire winchester #jack winchester #day 07 #day 7 #day 7: domestic #day 07: domestic #domestic #domestic fluff #doctor!castiel #mechanic!dean #parent!deancas

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lesbiantemult · 5 years ago

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10 with Gigi x Nicky? 👉🏻👈🏻

10: “You didn’t tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?”

Pairing: Gigi Goode x Nicky Doll

Word count: 1492

a/n: this is a college AU! might write more parts to it if people like it, but it’s just a oneshot thing for now :)

“Heeeey Gigi. I have a favour I need you to do for me. Please?” Crystal whined from the desk in their shared dorm room.

“If this is gonna be anything like your last favour, the answer is no.”

“No I swear, this one won’t have anything to do with my weird neighbours.”

Gigi shuddered just thinking about the shit she had been through that one time. “Ok fine, what is it?” Crystal leapt up from her desk, bouncing her way over to where Gigi was sitting on her bed.

“Okay, so, I have this friend who’s transferring from Paris to study here.”

“Is she weird? If she’s weird I’m not in.”

“No, no, let me finish. She’s really cool, I swear. She studies fashion design like we do, and she has a French accent, which is a bonus.” Gigi could admit she was a sucker for accents- but, still, she needed more information than that.

“And what do you want me to do exactly?”

“Alright, so you know that party Jan is hosting on Friday night? Well, my friend wants to go and get to know everyone but she doesn’t want to go alone. So I told her I would go with her, buuuuut I just found out that Dahlia is gonna be there, so there’s no way I’m going within 200 feet of that place.” Dahlia was the most popular girl in the school, and while Crystal wouldn’t say she had a crush on Dahlia - she was the complete opposite of her type - she did find herself unable to function whenever they were in the same room, due to the fact she was, as Crystal often put it, ‘intimidatingly beautiful’.

“Crystal, you know I don’t wanna go to that party either. I literally have an assignment due on Monday and I don’t want to spend the weekend babysitting for you!”

“Pleaaaase Gigi, it will just be one night. Do it for me? I’ll pay for the next five Watch Party Wednesdays.” Now, this got Gigi seriously considering the offer. Watch Party Wednesdays were their weekly tradition of buying Chinese takeaways, a large bottle of cherry cola, and watching the new episode of their favourite show every Wednesday night. And not having to pay that extra cost would really take a load off her back.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Crystal squealed with excitement, jumping on Gigi.

“Yay! You’re gonna love her, I promise. Thank you! You’re the best!”

When Friday night came, Gigi had already spent two hours on her makeup alone. As reluctant as she was to go to the party, there was no way she would leave the house looking anything but perfect. She picked out a denim skirt paired with a long-sleeved black turtleneck, and tied her hair into a tight high ponytail. Crystal had spent the day with this new French girl- so she planned to swing by the dorm, pick Gigi up, take the two of them to the party, and drive back home. After a few minutes of waiting outside, Crystal finally pulled up and Gigi hopped into the car. Instantly, she could smell an incredibly sweet perfume filling the air.

“Hey Gigi!” Crystal yelled over her car radio. “This is Nicky.”

“Bonjour. It’s nice to meet you.” The girl in the front seat turned around to face Gigi, giving her a wink. Gigi felt her stomach drop. This was not part of the plan. Gigi was expecting to pay as little attention to this girl as possible, and get the night over and done with. But when she looked like that? This party was going to be harder than Gigi expected.

Once they got there, the party was already in full swing. The music was blaring, the house reeked of beer and sickly-sweet fruit flavoured alcohol, and sweaty bodies filled the room to the brim. Jan sure knew how to throw a party. It was then that Gigi felt a hand grab her arm.

“Where do we get the alcohol?” It was Nicky, trying to get her attention over the chaos in front of them.

“French girls like to drink, huh?” Nicky simply smirked and shrugged her shoulders.

“I can probably get you some from the kitchen. Follow me.” Gigi grabbed Nicky’s hand and led her into the kitchen, where Jan was already stationed behind the counter and practically throwing drinks at people.

“GIGI! You came!” she screamed, running over to give her a hug. Gigi had known Jan for years- she was actually the first person she ever came out to. So she was always happy to see her bubbly smile. Noticing the girl standing next to her, Jan looked Nicky up and down.

“And who’s your pretty friend?”

Gigi laughed. “This is Crystal’s friend, actually. She got here this week from France.”

“My name is Nicky, nice to meet you.” Nicky said, with her typical charm.

“Enchanté.” Jan giggled, prompting an eye roll from Gigi. “Yes, I took two years of French.”

“Alright, alright, can we get some alcohol now?”

Jan grabbed whatever pink fizzy vodka drinks she kept in her fridge, and gave one to each of the girls. “Have a fun night ladies!” She cheered, leaning in for one more hug from Gigi. As she pulled her in, she said in her ear- “I swear Gigi, if you don’t end up with that girl by the end of the night it’s a wasted opportunity, you hear me?” Gigi pulled away shaking her head laughing at the bluntness of her friend, but also prayed she didn’t notice how red her face had turned at the comment.

“Ready to dance?” Nicky snapped Gigi out of her daze, pulling her to the centre of the dancefloor.

The rest of the night went by in a bit of a blur. Gigi was adamant she would stay sober, only having one or two drinks throughout the night. Nicky, on the other hand, never stopped. By the time Gigi told Crystal they were ready to go home, Gigi was having to hold Nicky up by her sides, as she lost her balance every time she tried to take a step. As much as Gigi hated to admit it, she found it adorable. Nicky kept looking up into Gigi’s eyes and smiling, and every so often through slurred speech would either thank Gigi or tell her how pretty she was.

“Nicky, come on, Crystal is gonna be waiting outside.” Gigi said, as Nicky kept trying to pull her back towards the party.

“But I wanna stay here with you! You need to dance with me!”

“I danced with you like, ten times.”

“Wow.” Nicky finally stopped in her tracks, straightening up to face Gigi.

“What?”

“I got to dance with a pretty girl! I love it here!” The blonde girl chirped as she perked up and started walking quickly outside. Gigi hurried to catch up with her, and within no time they were both seated back in Crystal’s car.

“So, how was it?” Crystal asked Nicky excitedly.

“It was the best night ever!” Nicky said, a little too loudly. “Thank you Crystal. You’re the best.”

“I think Gigi is the one who you should be thanking, doll.” Crystal laughed.

“But you were the one who set-”

“No, no-” Crystal interrupted, “I didn’t do anything. All Gigi.”

As Crystal pulled up to the apartments Nicky was staying in, Gigi got out of the car to make sure Nicky made it to the door safely. “Bye Crystal, mon amour!” She yelled from her doorstep. “And I’ll see you again soon, Gigi.” Nicky left a kiss on Gigi’s cheek and with a wink, went inside. Gigi practically ran back to the car, slamming the door behind her.

“What the fuck, Crystal.”

“What’s up?” Crystal replied, trying to act as innocent as possible.

“You didn’t tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?” Gigi was practically yelling as Crystal tried her hardest not to burst out laughing.

“So I take it you liked Nicky then?”

“You mean the prettiest, cutest girl I have literally ever seen? Uh, yeah, you could say that.”

“And this, my friend, is the point where you say thank you Crystal!” She said, teasingly.

“Hey, don’t forget that it was still a favour I did for you, bitch.”

“A favour that I perfectly planned to set you up with my cute French gay friend.”

“No. Way.” Gigi almost slapped the smirk off of Crystal’s face.

“Yes, way. I know, I’m the best friend ever.”

“I hate you.”

“We’ll see if you’re saying that after your first date- which is next weekend, by the way.”

Gigi couldn’t believe she had been dragged into a setup. But honestly, she couldn’t really be mad. Not when she thought about that smile, and that damn French accent. And while Crystal’s favours had been questionable in the past, she sure was glad she decided to do this one.

#i'm sorry if this is too similar to my last one sdjdksdjhk #rpdr fanfiction #drag race #nicky doll #gigi goode #goodedoll #gigi goode x nicky doll

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superpuppies · 5 years ago

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Week 10/16 – 10/22/2019

At the Graveyard

Yay! Tommy and Merton are back again, this one take place after Merton Was Loved but by no means do you need to have read any of my other Tommy/ Merton stories. I simply reference some characters that are from the previous tales.

Having moved to their new city Tommy and Merton are looking for a better place to live with some space for Tommy to run free on those full moon nights, plan a wedding, work full time and try and spend some time together. While out with Lydia for work Merton thinks he might have found a place that could be a solution for 2 of those needs.

This story contains public sex & some slight restraint, so now you know.

If you would like to read this and all of 2019′s weekly writing challenge stories click HERE or continue read below for today’s tale.

Dialog prompt: “A graveyard is an odd place to meet someone and yet, here you both are.”

Tommy glanced down at the directions on his phone again, Merton had messaged him early in the afternoon that he had found a place for him to run during the full moon and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Full moon was tonight and he need to go running to vent somethings, so as soon as he could he could he ran from the stadium and GPS’s Merton’s message.

When he pulled into a graveyard parking lot, he wasn’t overly surprised, the last part of Merton’s directions had been “on foot” and mostly consisted of a list of names. Merton had been going to a lot of graveyards and cemeteries lately with Lydia for work but still something about this was just weird. Locking the car, Tommy notices the sun was quickly setting so he picked up the pace.

Cresting a hill, he had to slow down to take a better look at eh fading names on the stones in the growing dark, he was in the old part of the yard and some of the stones where difficult to read even in the daylight. He was supposed to turn left at ‘Jacob McClain, so if he could just find the man. “There you are,” Tommy huffed triumphant and turned. “Merton! this is a bush!” he practically growled finding this was become far to frustrating. His phone buzzed in his hand a new text message flashing onto the screen. ‘Merton: Go through the bush.’ Tommy glared at his phone but pushed his way through the branches, they were surprisingly easy to maneuver through. Stepping out the other side Tommy found himself in a large clearing completely surrounded by the bush he had just come through a mausoleum in about halfway down in the left side and a few head stones here and there but very spacious.

Merton was sitting on the stone step of the mausoleum, a headlamp around his neck, book on his lap, basket beside him and a grind barely holding back his laughter on his face. Merton waved at Tommy as the sun disappeared behind the bushes. It wasn’t full night yet but the wolf decided it was close enough. Tommy felt the changes over take him almost phantomlike, he was so fixated on how happy Merton looked. Seeing his mate so content helped elevate the stress of the last few months.

Merton had been in a great mood since they moved int that shitty little apartment, it was temporary while they looked for a real place and it would do for a little while but Merton had just been a bundle of happiness. He loved his new job and coworkers all a bunch of nerds geeking out about the paranormal with him and he was clearly having a blast planning the wedding. A small part of Tommy was jealous of how well Merton was doing with everything but he couldn’t be mad just because it seemed like Merton had finally hit his stride.

“Hey Tommy,” Merton stood and kissed Tommy’s cheek. “How was your day?”

“Oh, you know,” Tommy leaned down and returned the show of affection in kind. “a lot of running and getting yelled at, You?”

“Crawling around graveyards looking for any sing of graveling. Getting dirty, thinking dirty and planning our first full moon date where we don’t have to hide you in the house of hearse the whole time.”

“You’ve been a busy boy.”

“Well you know me, can hardly sit still these days.” Merton glanced at the ground a little embarrassed. Ever since they moved into that shitty little apartment, he had been abuzz with happy, nervous energy. At times he felt like he was bouncing all over the place. “I hope you’re hungry.” He took Tommy’s paw and grabbed the basket with his other hand. “I got your favorite, it’s no Hungry Bucket but Grannis’s Kitchen Shack is supposed to have the best fried chicken in town.”

Tommy moaned appreciatively as he let Merton lead him down a small stone pathway. “You spoil me.”

“I don’t know about that; I mean if I wanted to spoil you, I’d learn how to fry chicken myself.”

“OOH-HH, Merton Chicken!” the idea alone was delicious.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Merton put down the basket on a blanket he had laid out and motioned for Tommy to sit. “we both know weird things happen I’m in the kitchen.” Merton settled next to Tommy and opened the basket.

“Yeah but so do delicious things.”

Merton smiled shyly and handed Tommy a bucket of chicken. He then pulled out a bowl and a fork for himself. He stabbed a diced veg, smiling as he watched Tommy tare into his chicken. “Good?” Tommy just nodded going in for another bite.

Lydia thought she was going to puke at how cute they were being or at least sound like they were being from her hiding spot. Merton had been acting giddy ever since they got here this afternoon and then she saw his writing out step by step directions to this spot and she decided to get to the bottom of it. Sure, she could have just asked him what was going on but where is the fun in that? So, she followed him, it had quickly become apparent that he was putting together some sort of dinner event but now it turned out to be just a date with Tommy. Nothing juicy like Merton having an affair or something. And sure, a date is a graveyard is weird but Merton is a delightfully weird dude, that’s why she loved him so much already. Alright, alright time to embarrass them, have a good laugh and head home for some dinner herself. Shifting up on to her knees she began a jovial scold. “You know a graveyard is an odd place to meet someone and yet, here you both are.” She finished brushing the dirt from her pants and looked down at them. “Oh my.”

Merton looked like he couldn’t decide if he was going to pass out or scream, while Tommy seemed genuinely surprised by her presence, oh yes and appeared to be a werewolf. Lydia stepped around the large tomb stone she had been hiding behind to get a better look at Tommy, “Fascinating.” She sank down to her knees in front of him. Tommy watched her but resumed chewing on his chicken. “No wonder you’re such an expert on Werewolves, Merton, you’re marrying one.” Lydia laughed, excitement ringing through the sound.

Tommy smiled at her in what he hoped read as warm, and tilted the bucket towards her. “Chicken?”

“Why thank you.” Lydia selected a leg from the bucket and Tommy’s smile brightened. Settling the bucket back to right he reached over and patted Merton’s leg comfortingly.

“Deep breath, Merton.” He soothed but his eyes never left Lydia.

She turned to Merton, who’s mouth was moving in staggering frantic, confusion but not making a single sound. He finally pulled in some air and asked quietly. “why are you here?”

“you were acting weird all day, so I fallowed you.” Lydia shrugged, Merton’s face fell and Tommy out right laughed.

“You probably thought you were being so cool.”

“Lydia, please, you can’t tell anyone about him. I promise he’s a good werewolf, a very, very good werewolf.” Merton grabbed her wrist, his voice pleading, his face begging just everything screaming of desperation.

“Of course, he is. She patted Merton’s hand. “I’m not going to tell anyone about your fiancée.”

“Oh, thank god!” Merton sank forward resting his head against her hand.

“You and I are going to talk about this, a lot, like, a lot.” her smile grew and she turned to Tommy. “And I have about a thousand questions.”

“Can I only answer a few tonight?” Tommy asked biting into another piece of chicken.

“Of course.”

“Then fire away.”

Lydia settled more comfortably in front of them, taking her hand back from Merton. “So, are you super-fast?”

“I’m pretty fast.”

“Are you super strong?”

“I’m pretty strong.” Tommy shrugged again.

Lydia pressed her lips together disappointed. “Okay, so you’re pretty fast and pretty strong, are you smatter?”

“Nope, that’s what I have Merton for. My sense of smell is usually really good though.”

“usually? Why only usually?”

“I didn’t smell you tonight and I should have.”

“Oh, really, I wonder why you couldn’t?”

Tommy lean forward, into her and took a lift sniff, more focused now he could easily pick her out of the surroundings. “You smell like warm earth and ink.” Sitting back with a shrug, “You must have just blended into the rest of it.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” Lydia frowned and glanced at Merton who was mechanically piking at his salad.

“It’s pretty nice actually, a lot of women reek of perfume.”

“Not that, though I’ll take the complement assuming it was one,” Tommy nodded. “the not being able to smell me.”

“Well, it’s not like you mean any harm.”

“But that’s just it, what if I did?”

“I’d smell it on you. People with bad intentions smell different.”

“What do bad intentions smell like?”

Tommy tilted his head back as he thought about it. “Kind of bitter.”

“Huh,” Lydia scratched behind her ear. “what does Merton smell like?”

Merton glanced up, curious why he had never thought to ask himself. Tommy chewed on a bite of his chicken thoughtfully then leaned over and took a deep inhale of Merton’s neck. Merton bit the inside of his cheek to quite a soft squeak. “Merton smells like candles, hair gel, coconuts, warmth, home and” he sniffed Merton again, his voice dropping a bit. “want.” Merton’s neck and cheeks tinted pink. Tommy leaned in closer and licked behind Merton’s ear. Merton out right shrieked then. “He tastes good too.” Tommy smirked at Lydia, she chuckled.

“You like to tease him.”

“Only a little, but yes, there are parts of me that like to see him a little panicked. You can’t tell me that wasn’t adorable, just look at him.” They both turned to Merton. “Cheeks flushed, panting like he just ran three miles, smelling like a sex god and all I did was lick him a little.” Tommy turned back to Lydia. “Something I’ve done a hundred times before.”

“Not in front of people!” Merton gasped out in defense.

“Only ‘cause I didn’t want to share you, oh and you didn’t let me tell anyone we were dating.”

“But now you do?” Merton asked sinking back in on himself.

“I thought she might appreciate it.” Tommy shrugged.

“Oh,” Merton looked down at the salad on his knees and told himself not to over think, it probably wasn’t what it sounded like.

Tommy frowned and gave Lydia an apologetic smile, taking Merton’s salad off his knees. He wasn’t surprised by the lack of reaction; Merton had a tendency to lose track of his surroundings when he sank into a doubt spiral. “He’s still not good about other people knowing… things.” Lydia nodded her understanding, in their short amount of time together she had very quickly learned that Merton was a sensitive soul. Tommy took Merton’s hands, “Merton. Tommy to Merton, come in Merton.” Merton glanced up at Tommy, broken eyes not really seeing as his heads whirled wildly. “Don’t do that, Merton.”

“What?” Merton asked, knowing he should be responding but not really listening. Tommy pulled Merton toward him, forcing him up onto his knees fumbling before he landed against Tommy’s chest. “What are you” Tommy pulled him in to a tender, deep kiss.

Merton let himself sink into it, shifting about so his legs were more comfortable and he ended up on Tommy’s lap. His arms wrapped around Tommy’s neck, his hands digging into fur and shirt alike.

“No wondering off without me, remember.” Tommy chastised lightly, pulling away.

“Sorry,” Merton whimpered leaning in for another kiss.

Lydia cleared her throat loudly. “Still right here.” Tommy smiled as Merton shot his eyes over his shoulder but not willing to turn his head. “So, we should do lunch this week.” Tommy wrapped his arms around Merton’s waist and put his chin on Merton’s shoulder. “I still have questions, but it’s getting late and I haven’t had dinner. So, I’ll call you.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Tommy smiled brightly at her as she stood and brushed off her knees.

“Alright, well then, you boys have fun.”

Tommy smirked as he watched her get her bearings, Merton dropped his head to Tommy’s shoulder, his face bright red. This was so embarrassing, how was it Tommy made him forget about other people, especially his boss!

“Be at the office by ten thirty, Merton.” Lydia said ducking into one of the bushes.

“Yes, ma’am.” Merton barely managed to squeak out. They heard her push through to the other side and start down the path toward the car park.

“That wasn’t so bad.” Tommy chuckled.

“I can never go to the office again.” Merton moaned sinking down on to Tommy even farther.

“Awe, don’t say that, you’ll make Lydia sad.”

“So embarrassing.”

“No, embarrassing would have been if I’d stripped you down the minute, I laid eyes on you and she was stuck in her hiding spot listening slash watching us as I went down on you or more.” Merton whimpered pathetically against Tommy’s shoulder. “What if I had knotted you,” Merton wiggled against Tommy, just the idea of knotting got him horny beyond reason. “and then she thought it was safe, came out of her hidey hole and saw us. You probably would have passed out from embarrassment. Then there we would be, you unconscious, locked onto my dick as I tried to explain to your boss that I’m a good werewolf. What would that have gotten us?”

“Me locked on your dick.” Merton groaned desperately in Tommy’s ear. He wasn’t going to say this but that was what he had been after the whole time he was planning thing date night thing of theirs.

“And a whole mess of trouble, whereas now, we have lunch date with our friend and a chance to get you locked in place.” Tommy lifted Merton’s chin giving him a wink before kissing him, pulling him in tighter.

“Behind in the dirt.” Merton groaned against Tommy’s lips.

“Wha” Tommy began but Merton pulled his shirt over his head.

“Take me from behind, face down in the dirt. Knot me.”

“So, we’re just gonna get right into it then.”

“yes.”

Tommy smirked darkly, pushed Merton from his lap and shifted on to his own knees. Kneeling over him, Tommy rolled Merton on to his stomach and lifted his hips. Once he was sure Merton had his knees under him, Tommy popped the button on Merton’s pants and yanked them down. Merton rocked with the force of it and smiled to himself.

Tommy ran his paws over the globes of Merton’s ass. Spreading them he found a small purple ring protruding from Merton’s slicked up hole. Tommy let out a hungry growl. “Such a bad boy, how long has this been inside you?” Tommy flicked the purple ring. Merton whimpered and wiggled hips. Tommy ran a paw down Merton’s spine, pushing up the back of his shirt. “Answer me.” He spanked the right side of Merton’s ass.

Merton yelped, feeling Tommy’s hand disappear for the next blow he stumbled out an answer. “Just after I texted you.”

“That’s pushing three hours.” Tommy chuckled. “You let me chit chat with your boss while this was inside you? Bad, bad, Merton.” Tommy looped his finger through the ring and began to pull. Merton tried to straighten up but Tommy pressed his shoulders down to the ground. Tommy watched Merton hole expanded to release the varying sized bumps of the butt plug. With only the last bump left Tommy paused to open his own pants, that out of the way he remover the last of the plug and smirked at the small trickle of lube dripping from Merton. Such a good boy, so well prepared.

Dropping the plug Tommy caught some of the lube in his paw and smeared it over his dick. Tommy rubbed himself over Merton’s twitching hole. Merton whimpered needy, rocking back against him. With the embarrassment completely forgotten Merton smelled like sex on a stick and Tommy wasn’t going to waist that. Tommy tightened his grip on Merton’s hips. In one smooth, slow push he eased into Merton, a possessive growl rolling his throat as he did. Merton melted around him, a desperate keening moan leaking out of him.

Fully sheathed in Merton, Tommy’s hips made a sharp shallow thrust. He smirked as Merton scratched into grass. He snapped his hips forward again, before settling on a mild pace. “Harder!” Merton snapped pushing back to meet his thrusts.

Tommy grabbed Merton’s shirt pulling him up against his chest then out of the shirt entirely. His hips picking up force and speed. He licked from Merton’s left shoulder to the back of his left ear, loving the shivers and whimpers the pulled from Merton. “What was that,” he ground his hips into Merton. Merton’s hands scratched down his sides desperate for as much contact as he could get. “I think I missed it.”

“Fuck me! Show me who I belong too. Make me your Bitch.” Tommy frowned. “carve it in to me. Knot me, God, Knot me!”

Tommy covered Merton’s mouth. Okay Merton wanted him rough, he could play rough. He would have to have a talk about that ‘bitch’ thing later preferably fallowed by some papering and spooning. Tommy picked up Merton’s shirt and used it to tie his hands behind his back, then pushed him down. “use me.” Merton moaned into the grass.

Well that’s gonna get added to the discussion. Tommy frowned again pressing Merton’s face into the ground “Shut up.” and began to fuck Merton with seemingly no regarded for Merton at all. His movements fast, hard and violent.

Merton lost himself in it, tears welling and falling down his cheeks as twigs in the grass scratched against his face. He rocked back against Tommy, groans and moans, of encouragement spilling out off him. Tommy clamped a hand over Merton’s mouth again a frustrated growl curling in the air around them. “Shut up.” Tommy growled and slammed into him, Merton bit down on Tommy’s fingers. “AH, no biting!” Tommy’s vice tilted back up to its usual octave as he pulled his hand free shaking the spit from it. Ge-bus what was wrong with Merton tonight?

Tommy tightened his claws around Merton’s hips, just shy of breaking the skin. He wanted to run his hands over that beautiful skin but too much touching ruined it for Merton when he was like this. Though not touch just wasn’t an option for Tommy. Merton didn’t seem to have to much of a problem with the spanking earlier. He needed to make Merton come, was it bad that he was getting tired? No, he’s been running around all day. So, he could be tired, Right? Yeah, yeah, he could be tired. Okay so how to make Merton come? On, one of these nights he needed to come and knot Merton. Alright what was surefire way to make himself come? Merton screaming or begging his name. That’s not likely with Merton in this mood. Merton babbling incoherently while he went down on him. Well that would help with the coming but not with the knotting, probably not the best plan. Chained to a wall Merton, no, very few walls and no chains.

“No, no.” Merton cried into the grass, Tommy slowed even more and stretched over Merton’s back. “No, Tommy, don’t...” Tommy lifted Merton’s face out of the grass turning him to get a better look. Merton’s cheeks were tear streaked and flushed his mouth gasping open eyes half glazed. “don’t stop.” Tommy felt himself grow harder, Merton groaned pressing back against him, his bound hands scratching against Tommy’s stomach. Damn it, Merton! “Don’t stop, Tommy… Tommy!”

Oh no, Tommy wrapped his left arm around Merton’s chest, using his right for leverage against the groaned. “So, dangerous.” He growled in Merton’s ear, letting the wolves instices over take him. Merton screamed in what he hopped was bliss because there was no stopping him now.

When Merton screamed again Tommy clamped a paw over his mouth with a warning growl. Merton shuttered beneath him, and that was the final push. With a howl Tommy exploded into Merton, the base of his cock expanding, locking the two men together while his seed pumped into Merton.

A scream ripped from Merton’s chest as the heat from Tommy’s ejaculate, pressure from Tommy’s knot expanding inside him and Tommy’s hand clamping tighter over his mouth pushed him over the presuppose. His back arched, his eyelids fluttered as his whole body twitched. His knees gave out under him and he and Tommy collapsed to the ground. They lay there panting, neither one sure they could move.

Tommy took his hand from Merton’s mouth and licked behind Merton’s ear. That was the taste of blissed out satisfaction he liked to find on Merton. “Good boy.” He rumbled in Merton’s ear, pulling back just enough to untie Merton’s hands. Wrapping his arms around Merton. “We have to get out of that shitty apartment, with its paper thin walls. So, I can destroy you somewhere more comfortable.”

“Agreed, but this was nice too.” Merton curled and uncurled his fists making sure blood flow was as it should be. He turned his head to look at Tommy, bringing up his right hand to cradled the back of Tommy’s head. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” Tommy rested his forehead against Merton’s “With maybe a few minor notes.” Merton chuckled pulling him down for a kiss.

#weekly writing #Challange #Big Wolf on Campus #Merton J. Dingle #Tommy P. Dawkins #Tommy / Merton

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look-ma-im-on-tv · 6 years ago

Text

Logan's Secret

This is for @stop-it-anxiety 's fall fanfic constest! So, of course, I did some Logince bweh heh and I think it turned out pretty good!

The prompt is Logan's Secret! And this is my official entry too!

Tw: Uh... Not a lot? There's kissing (twice) Remus, food, Deceit, Deceit and Remus aren't strongly sympathetic or unsympathetic. If I missed any, please let me know!

Ships: Logince! Yay!

Word Count: 3,541

"Falsehood!"

"You make ONE mistake--"

"...is an idea that I love POSSIBLY EVEN MORE!"

The small, criticizing voice in the back of Logan's head told him, these are the outbursts we internalize.

For years now, Logan was known to be Logic and nothing more. He was the embodiment of information, with no emotions at all. Or, that's what he wished he was. But despite how much Logan denied it or wished it wasn't true, he did feel emotions. A lot. And he could never let the other sides know. He had to keep this secret to himself. They'd never be able to trust him with a decision again if they knew. Even now he wasn't taken seriously. It would only get worse if people knew he felt complicated, illogical emotions. Especially…

No. Logan refused to admit that secret, even to himself.

"Logan?" Someone asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. It was Roman, the creative side. The two of them were sat on the floor of Roman's room, papers with ideas and schedules scattered everywhere. They were planning one of Thomas' videos again. Logan had always thought that Roman's ideas were outrageous. Dragon fighting, a house behind a waterfall, none of it ever made sense to him. However, Logan accepted the prince anyways. Probably even because of it. Roman's ability to drift away from reality and bring Logan with him made things seem easier. It was quite comforting in its own way.

"Hey Specs, you there? Earth to Logan!" He had forgotten to reply to the prince.

"Hm, yes. I apologize. I appear to have been hyper focused on my own thoughts for a moment there."

"You mean you were daydreaming?"

"No, of course not! What is it you want anyways?"

"Ah--Nothing, Specs. I suppose I was just… worried. Forget about it all, okay?" Roman's face turned a worrying shade of red.

"Are you feverish? Do you feel ill, Roman?" Logan started to lift his hand to check Roman's temperature, but stopped himself out of embarrassment.

"Uh--No, no. I'm fine, Lo, don't worry about it."

"Good." Logan held back a relieved smile, hopefully continuing his blank expression. "Now, let us return to planning the next video, shall we?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Roman smiled, looking hard at the floor so Logan wouldn't see. Roman really enjoyed working with the logical side. He was insightful, yet not harsh. He looked up at Logan, blushing when he saw him push up his glasses with that look in his eyes. That look that could capture an entire galaxy. There was so much curiosity, so much passion behind those lenses. When he looked into Logan's eyes, it was like seeing a glimpse of the real him. He knew there had to be more to him than he let on. That look told him. That part of him was what Roman liked--no, loved--about Logan.

But if he were to ever express his admiration, he'd be shut down so fast his head would spin. No matter how much he wanted him to feel, to care, he simply never would. Even when he did have that look in his eyes, well, Roman was known for imagining things. He never had a chance with Logan. And since he wouldn't and couldn't handle that rejection, he kept his feelings to himself.

"Roman? You are staring at me." Roman instantly turned bright red and returned his attention back to the floor. How embarrassing.

Roman could've sworn he heard a chuckle in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~

Logan clasped a hand over his own mouth. Had Roman noticed that? He must have. Logan fiddled with his hands and refused to look at the prince. That was too close. This is one of those outbursts we internalize.

Logan slowly and nervously looked up, nearly jumping back when he saw Roman's face only a few inches from his own. This close, Logan could see freckles dusted lightly on his cheeks. His features were lit up with a bright curious expression. There was something mysteriously handsome about Roman. Logan suddenly noticed the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and the red flush in his face. He quickly forced away the smile and turned away to hide his blushing.

"Was that… You, Lo? Did you laugh just now?" Roman sounded like he was holding back a chuckle himself.

Oh no. Logan thought. He noticed.

Logan moved back quickly and nearly lost his balance, his face even redder now. He was stumbling over his reply. "N--no! That would be… Preposterous! You know me, I don't do things like laugh."

"You also don't do things like struggle with your words, or blush, or smile." Roman quieted and abandoned his mocking tone. "Lo… you do know you can talk to me, right? You don't have to be perfect, cold, logic all the time. You don't have to hide anything…" He was acting uncharacteristically shy.

"Quiet! I am not keeping anything!" Logan snapped. Roman looked startled, then… Sad. Logan regretted yelling immediately.

"Roma--Ro…" Roman smiled a little at the nickname.

"Look Lo, it's perfectly fine if I'm wrong here, or if you would prefer not to tell me. But I believe you really do feel things more than you like to let on!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Oh I desperately hope I'm right here.

Roman was worried that he had only made things worse. He should've kept quiet, but he was terrible at keeping his thoughts to himself. He has never seen Logan so nervous and fidgety, he was frantically adjusting his tie.

"I'm sorry, Lo. I didn't mean to--"

"No. No, it's fine. I suppose it isn't good for me to not tell you. The truth is… You are right. I do feel emotions, Roman." He said it as if he was confessing to a crime. "However, I do not want to."

"Why not? This is great!"

"No it is not!" Logan stood up and started pacing around the room. "No one will ever take me seriously. I can't even make proper decisions like this! Feelings and emotions are completely ridiculous. I am Logic! This goes against everything possible!"

"Logan, calm down. You should sit." He sat back down in a huff. "Logan, emotions aren't ridiculous whatsoever. They might not always make sense, but they help make you more… Complete." Suddenly, Roman lit up. "And one of the best things in the universe is when you are so incredibly passionate or happy that you feel as if you are about to explode!" Roman did a dramatic explosion motion with his hands and fell backwards laughing. He got back up at the sound of a chuckle and a gasp. Logan looked startled at himself.

"It's okay to laugh, Specs." Roman comforted him.

Logan's shocked expression shifted into the smallest warm smile.

From then on, Roman was nothing but cheery and accepting when Logan was around. He did what he could when they were alone to make him laugh. He just wanted Logan to have a better viewpoint on emotions. The two would watch Disney movies together, color pictures, listen to music, make jokes, any positive, fun things that Roman thought he might enjoy. They got along very well, and Logan always left Roman's room with a smile on his face, even when they had spent the day venting or even crying.

This first time Logan cried was because he still felt broken for having emotions. It was so different to Roman, seeing him like that. Of course, he had tried to not cry, but that only made it worse. He got to the point of sobbing before Roman calmed him down.

"I am so flawed! How is it possible for me to be like this? I am supposed to be the one keeping things in check and in order. How could I let something like this get through? No logical decision has any emotions behind it and yet… I'm like this! You guys could never trust me again…" Logan had yelled through his tears, furiously trying to wipe them from his face. His shoulders shook with the sobs and he was bent over with his face in his hands.

Roman had placed a comforting arm around his back, causing Logan to look up, his face tear-streaked and red. It was a devastating sight to Roman. He hated seeing him like this, so hurt. It made the prince want to cry himself.

"What… Are you doing Roman?"

"Comforting you. It's okay Logan. It's okay to have emotions. You are amazing, exactly as you are. You are not flawed, or broken, or defective. You are strong, and good, and so incredibly smart that even I cannot begin to comprehend it. And I would trust you with my life. I believe almost all of us would."

"You believe so?"

"Of course I do, Lo. Just because you have emotions doesn't mean you can't make the right decision. I mean, you have had these emotions the whole time, right? You just didn't let us know?" Logan nodded. "See? And you still make great decisions, you are still great. You admitting this doesn't change a thing." Roman smiled at him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Roman was the best at making Logan feel better. He always seemed to know the right things to say, and of course there was that smile. His smile was incredibly contagious, and everything about him made Logan happy. He loved spending time with the prince, and while he didn't much care for what they did together, he still enjoyed himself. Roman was a bit of an enigma to him, puzzling him with every facial expression he made and every word he said. But he didn't mind that. It just made Logan want to be around him even more.

Tonight was the weekly dinner. Each week, all of the sides, including Deceit and Remus, had dinner together and talked about what happened during the week. This was the first dinner since Logan had confessed his secret to Roman, so he was expecting the worst. He didn't want anyone other than Roman to know yet. He could easily see the others mocking him, even if they didn't mean any harm by it all. He sat down in his place anxiously. Patton brought plate after plate of food to the table and everyone else took their seats.

"What a magnificent job, Patton! The food looks wonderful!" Roman cried out cheerily.

"Yes, I agree. Good job, Patton." Logan added stiffly. If he kept the conversation focused on someone else, his secret might just survive the night.

"Well, thanks kiddos! I did my best!" Patton smiled brightly, which made Logan relax significantly.

They all got their food, with the exception of Remus, who had brought his own 'food,' which consisted of bricks with nail polish dressing, wood chips, and of course, a stick of deodorant for dessert. While the sides never got or needed any nutritional value from their food, they liked eating every now and then for the taste of it. Logan figured that they all just let Remus have his own taste.

For a moment they ate their food with little chatter, none of which was thankfully targeted at Logan. He knew that wouldn't last too long.

"So! Roman, Logan, how's this week's video planning going?" Patton asked.

Virgil was curious too, "It seemed pretty tense for a minute there. You guys know I can tell when you're well," he gestured to himself, "anxious, right? So what happened?"

Logan tried to reply, but whatever lie he might have been able to come up with just got caught in his throat anyways, so he let Roman answer.

"Ah--well, for a moment we just… Couldn't find a good topic! That's all, no need to worry. We figured it out so it's fine."

You are absolutely horrid at lying, Roman. Yet, Logan appreciated Roman's efforts anyways. It was clear he cared about Logan, and about keeping his secret safe. Logan knew this was going bad though when Deceit smiled mischievously. He could always spot a lie.

"What a wonderful explanation, Roman. That doesn't sound like a lie at all," he hissed out. Not menacingly, he didn't want to start something or anything, but he knew Roman was lying and was calling him out on it.

Patton looked hurt and shocked. "Are you… Lying to us Roman?"

"What? No! I would never do anything like that!"

Remus jumped in on the action, sneering "Ooh, is that a smelly little lie I hear?"

Logan noticed Virgil staring at him and suddenly became acutely aware of the worry visible in his expression. He forced his features to relax, quickly adding to the conversation, "I don't understand why any of you would not believe Roman. His explanation is logical and accurate." Logan realized how rushed he sounded, a sign of nervousness.

Virgil looked confused. "You're… Scared? Both of you?" Of course he could tell.

"Of course not, you--you idiot!" Roman yelled, quieting the whole table. It had been a long time since Roman had said something like that to Virgil. Everyone knew that something was wrong.

Patton leaned forward, concerned. "You guys… What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wro--"

"Enough, Roman. It's fine."

"What?" Roman protested.

"I can simply tell them. It's too late to continue attempting to keep any sort of secret." He sighed, hearing the defeat in his own voice. Logan appreciated what Roman was doing, but he couldn't let this get any worse. He especially didn't want Roman looking like the bad guy. He had helped him so much, it was only fair for Logan to return the favor. Even if it meant the secret they had worked to keep had to be revealed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Roman was shocked. Was Logan going to tell them? He turned to him, worried about the logical side. He had such a defeated look on his face, his head drooping down sadly. Roman put a comforting hand on his arm, realizing that this had to be done, but still helping Logan as much as he could. "Are you sure about this, Lo?"

Logan sighed and said, "Yes." He turned to face everyone, and Roman could tell that he really didn't want to do this. Yet, even so, the way he presented himself made Roman feel light and proud. Logan didn't bother with looking shy, instead he sat tall and looked as he was giving the most important speech in his life. He looked almost confident, strong, despite being in a vulnerable position.

"I suppose the cause for any worry is the fact that I've recently admitted that… That I am flawed. I actually do feel emotions."

Roman couldn't let him explain it like that. "You're not flawed! You're great how you are!"

Patton smiled, and almost laughed. "Well of course you feel, silly! You're not flawed!"

Logan's brow furrowed and he tilted his head to the side slightly. Roman thought it was adorable. "You are wrong. I am Logic, therefore I should not feel emotions and this is an error to some degree."

"None of us are just one thing, kiddo. And we can all feel and be like each other! And really, thanks for telling us. It shows you trust us."

Roman saw Logan freeze.

~~~~~~~~~~

Logan was not expecting that reaction at all. However… Patton was right.

Everyone was smiling and reassuring Logan, telling him that he was great and valid just the way he was. And for the first time, he smiled in front of everyone. It was one of the best days Logan ever had. He was so scared, but now he didn't understand what for. They finished their dinners and discussions and everyone but Roman and Logan sank back down to their rooms.

"Roman? I… Wanted to show my appreciation for today. To say… Thank you. Thank you very much."

"What? Logan, you were incredible today! I'm so proud of you, you were able to tell everyone! You defeated your own dragon witch!"

Logan smiled, something he had started to really enjoy doing. "I could not have done so without you being there. It's because of you that I was able to have any amount of confidence."

"Well… You are very welcome then. Have a good night, Lo. Sleep well."

Logan felt his cheeks flush red, matching Roman's. "You too, Ro."

Over the next few days, Logan still detested the fact that he felt emotions, but the other sides helped a lot, especially Roman. When he was with Roman, he felt comfortable enough to laugh and smile. It was freeing and nice. But most of the time, his emotions still made him feel… Broken.

"Roman?"

"Yeah, Specs?"

"Do you suppose that you could explain to be again why me having emotions is not bad? It is my hope that the reinforcement will assist me to feel less… defective. "

"Defective?"

"Yes."

"Lo, you're not defective. You're not a robot. You're you. And I'll--we'll-- always be there for you, emotions and all. And I enjoy being around the you with emotions, the real you. It's great."

Logan looked down, smiling. He was happy that Roman liked him with feelings. Logan looked up at the prince, who was already looking at him. Roman always looked so genuine, so excited and caring. And he was handsome too.

He had full lips with smile lines around them, and sparkling hazel eyes. Everything about him was so real, yet so attractive. The way his hair fell over his forehead, how his smiles always reached his eyes… Roman was simply gorgeous to Logan, inside and out. He was always so caring towards him. He helped him every day, just by being himself. Logan always felt safe and happy around him, his outlandish ideas and cheery pastimes one of the things Logan looked forward to most. Roman really was like a prince, and Logan couldn't seem to understand why… Why he wanted to stay like this, looking into each other's eyes, forever.

~~~~~~~~~~

Roman only wanted Logan to be happy. And it seemed like he was. His deep brown eyes were sparkling, and he had a smile that could light up the entire world. He was so smart, and kind, and caring, even when he didn't want to show it. And lately, after admitting his emotions, he was somehow even better to be around. His laugh was better than any songbird's song, his smile brighter than the sun, and his company better than anyone else's.

Roman knew that what he was about to do was stupid. He wasn't oblivious after all. A million thoughts ran through his head, but only one stuck with him:

I love you.

Because he really did, and now, with his heart racing and head spinning, he knew that this was his only chance. Roman held a hand up to Logan's cheek, desperately trying not to shake too much, and kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a gentle kiss, caring and reserved. Still, Logan was shocked, his eyes wide in surprise. He had no clue that Roman would ever do that. And yet, for some reason, Logan had never felt so happy.

Upon seeing Logan's shocked expression, Roman immediately pulled away, apologizing profusely.

"Oh no, what have I done? Logan--I--I am so sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I mean, you just told me that you feel anything at all and I go and do something stupid like that. God, I'm sorry Lo…"

Logan understood now. "Roman, it's perfectly alright."

"I know, I'm sorry, it was stupi--wait, what? Are you not mad?"

"That would be a negative. That wasn't stupid and… I'm not mad. Quite the opposite actually…"

"What? Why?"

Logan sighed, saying under his breath, "Because I believe I feel the same way you do."

Logan went against anything that Logic had ever told him, and listened to his emotions instead. He brought his hand up to Roman's chin and gently pulled him closer. Logan finally thought of the perfect words to describe the prince. Roman shined like a star. He had a wonderful, perfect glow about him that Logan felt addicted to. With a freeing feeling, Logan finally admitted his true secret. To himself, and to this star of a person, he said,

"I have one last secret, Roman… I love you."

And he kissed him with purpose and meaning, despite having no clue how. Roman seemed shocked for only a moment before sinking into the kiss and wrapping his arms around Logan's neck. They smiled into each other's lips, enjoying finally being able to be together.

Logan felt everything at once. He felt a little mad that Roman never told him, sad that he didn't tell him himself. But over all of that, he felt happy. He felt love. He cared about Roman, every part of him. And he knew that Roman felt the same.

They pulled apart and moved to sit against Roman's bed. Logan slowly lowered his head until it rested on Roman's shoulder, and looked up at the prince to make sure it was okay. After confirmation from Roman, and after pushing his own thoughts away, Logan melted into him. Roman conjured stars that basked them in a soft glow and said,

"I love you too, Lo."

And they stayed like that until both of them happily fell asleep in each other's arms.

#logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #deceit sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #emotional logan #sympathetic sides #fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #writing #tv's writing

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