#my god i hate elias bouchard so fucking much

[teamfortresstwo]

“Peter Lukas gets sent back to the regency era” “Jonathan Sims gets sent back to the regency era” valid points valid points but i raise you

Tim Stoker gets sent back to the regency era

[brainbleedo]

TMA S1 Character Opinions

Jonathan Sims

love him, wasn't sure at first but now that the season is done I really like him- honestly he is absolutely a wet cat kinda character.

Martin Blackwood

also love him, honestly I cannot pick a favourite character, regardless though his whole living in the archivesthiny was brilliant especially the sheer doomsday esc preparation he had set up. Istg if he dies I will cry.

Sasha James

okay so I've said this for everyone so far but I love her, I love loads of these characters, sadly dont know much about her so far but after the finale something is definitely up and whatever that is it is NOT my sasha

#not my sasha

Elias bouchard

right, Elias, I don't hate him but I'm not fond of him either- neutral right now. He doesn't seem malicious or anything though but for the Magnus institute he seems like a weirdly normal boss so far and it's got me on edge. All in all tho, don't care much for him yet, tho I think he knows more than he's letting on.

Jane Prentis

Jane motherfucking Prentis. God I both hate and love her, she's interesting and I want to know more about the rot and whats happened to her but on another note I hateeee her and her wormy holey skin it's just no. I don't think she's dead, im not even sure she CAN die but regardless I don't think she's dead, tad anticlimactic if she is, I think she might be injured but not dead especially with her whole rot and decay thing that's going on.

Gertrude Robinson

not much to say on her character, she's dead, but more so her death and I really really want to know more, especially the fact she was found shot which is so ??!??! It's such a 'normal' death I'm more concerned about that than anything else, and you still have the whole thing of her blood which makes me think it wasn't entirely natural either. Doesn't seem fully supernatural either tho I mean a gun? All this spooky supernatural stuff and it decides to just shoot her a few times? Nah. Nah I don't buy it, I'm placing my bets on joint efforts.

Tim Stoker

I totally did not forget to talk about Tim, definitely. I really like him tho haven't actually heard much from him yet though from his fucking "Statment of Joe Spooky regarding Sinister Happenings" I think he is absolutely going to turn into one of my favourite characters

[shxxmisafreak]

the lords in black,,,,,, theyre five eldritch gods that exist in a black beyond all dimensions called the black and white. theyre all brothers.

the first one in that post was nibbly, aka nibblenephim, the one who feasts in the dark. his color is pink. he is the hungriest god, and he. well he eats people. characters associated with him are roman murray and occansionally linda monroe

then theres tinky, t'noy karaxis, bastard of time and space, weaver of impossibilities. his color is yellow, with bits of orange. he controls time (like time travel) and the different timelines. he has a box that he uses specifically to torture This One Guy and sometimes his brother. characters associated with him are. ted and pete spankoffski.

then theres wiggly, wiggog y'wrath, the lord in black. his color is green. he wants power, control. hes very capitalist. like the show that predominately featured him was all about anti consumerism. he has tentacles. characters associated with him are wilbur cross (uncle wiley), and occansionally linda monroe again.

pokey, pokotho, the singular voice. his color is blue. he fucking hates any voice except his own and loves musicals. hes the main guy behind the first hatchetfield show, the guy who didnt like musicals, where he infected people into a musical hive. characters associated with him are paul matthews (THE guy who didnt like musicals), and the hive in general. sometimes charles coven.

and FINALLYY blinky, bliklotep, the watcher with a thousand eyes. his color is mainly purple with splashes of yellow and orange. hes the most sadistic of the brothers and just likes to watch people suffer. he has his own amusement park in hatchetfield, watcher world, where he can do this (the park alters peoples minds to make them fight and want to kill each other). he also abuses his sniggles, which are basically like this weird little creatures that live in the black and white and work for the lords. characters associated with him are bill and alice woodward.

but also then theres webby, no canon full name yet, the queen in white. her color is. white. she is their sister, and the only one who wants to help humanity. she does this through specifically hannah foster, but also to a lesser degree with lex, hannahs older sister

im so sorry that it took so long for me to answer this sjkhskjhs . I love the ramblings thank you

pink and hungry he's so me for real as for the eating who doesn't enjoy some occasional cannibalism on a Saturday night

TINKY WINKY ??? yellow and can control time and tortures one little guy I wonder what current interest this is reminding me of also I love that he is related even tangentially to your babygirl

why's he the lord in black if he's green YAY for power hungry green characters Elias Bouchard look out omg tentacles ? hubba hubba ooh la la

omg yay theatre kids unite forever ???? fucking hates all voices except his own oh my god it's so accurate. Join my theatre group we would rule the world

the watcher with a thousand eyes !!!!!! this is the one that video called the Ceaseless Watcher FUCK yeah little panopticon never hurt anyone bro just wants to watch the world burn what the FUCk is a sniggle

we love the white queen from Narnia or whatever except good YAAAAY thank you so much for the infoooooooo :33333 very fun <3

[sleepy-seal]

Welcome back to another week of: TMAGP & Treats!

This week's treat: Blood Lemon Poundcake

A fitting name for the subject of the 4th episode. Ingredients were baking mix, water, one egg, and melted butter.

And without further ado, here is my notes and thoughts that I have for this episode:

- started preheating the oven to 350 degrees

- i'll be using baking mix this time so the quality may not be the greatest

- SAM BUDDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING

- ACCESSING RESTRICTED FILES????? STOP PLEASE THAT'S WHAT THE NARRATIVE WANTS

- ahhhhh "the magnus protocol" it all makes sense

- I FUCKING KNEW ITTTTTTTTTTTT AGUSTUS WOULD FINALLY TALK IN THIS

- ALSO WAIT WHO THE FUCK IS AGUSTUS

- PETER LUKAS?????????,

- WAIT JONAH

- JONAH JONAH JONAH JONAH

- is this a will?

- violin violin violin

- OH THANK GOD WE HAVE EGGS I WAS WORRIED THEY DIDN'T BUY ANY

- UH OHHHHHHHHH

- WEEWOO WEEWOO WE HAVE A MURDER LETTER MURDER UP AHEAD I CAN FEEL IT

- i'm gonna be honest i wish i sifted the baking mix beforehand so maybe there would be less lumps in it

- you don't control me

- batter is pretty stiff so i'll shovel it into the pan and put it iDEATH???????

- DUDE WHAT???????

- OH MY GOD

- OH HE'S FUCKING DEAD

- OH HE'S FUCKING DEAD TOO

- what is it with these people and describing their life stories to strangers

- put in the pound cake for 40 minutes! should be enough time to listen And relisten if needed

- OUCH OUCH OUCH

- pain violin. violin that bites you and hates you so so much

- thank you so much agustus we really needed a symphonic performance

- violin wants blood mmmmm yummy yummy yum

- I KNEWWW ITTTTTTTTTT

- VIOLIN NEEDS BLOOD

- KILL MAIM DESTROY VIOLENCE VIOLENCE VIOLENCE VIOLENCE

- ohhhh so the violin makes you kill other people by music alone

- HEY LENA????? WHAT DID YOU DO

- GWEN WHAT DID YOU SEEEEEEEEEEE

- GWEN

- GWENN

- GWEENNNNNNNNNN

OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS:

one:

i was so right in my assumption that agustus would start speaking in this episode. i was surprised though with the fact that it was not elias' voice actor this time. for a bit i was convinced that it might've been peter lukas for a little bit, but it didn't make sense at the moment. it then hit me in a moment of brilliance and subsequent horror that it was most likely jonah's voice. not elias' voice, jonah's. it also fits well with the usual magpod formula. jon/martin usually read more statements, with jonah/elias occasionally reading something of his own, likely something very old and historic. very fun, i like it.

two:

Guys I Am So Worried For Sam. he is poking into places he shouldn't already, and it's only been the 4th episode. we've all seen someone who keeps digging further than they're meant to, and we've seen what happens to them. nothing good. it's a good thing that alice is trying to dissuade sam from prying further. i trust her when she says that he should stay out of it and stop looking into the magnus institute and "the protocol". as the saying goes, canaries should stay above ground.

three:

what was in that video holy shit???????? what did gwen see???? i'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what might've happened. whatever it was, it was enough to put gwendolyn off. possibly something violent, maybe even worse? it sounds like, what Did happen, either involved lena trying to hurt klaus, or hurting someone else. maybe she was even trying to destroy something else, something that would disturb ms. bouchard. and what was that about klaus disappearing again? who is klaus? just some food for thought to chew on until all is revealed later.

it just dawned on me that the video may be correlated with what lena said in ep 1. "Unfortunately, I know what climbing this particular ladder entails, and you don’t have what it takes." perhaps this is tied to the video. maybe what she had to do was much uglier and grim than expected.

four:

lastly, and the most important thing i feel is, i have a feeling our good pals chester, norris, and agustus have a bigger hand on things than i initially thought. i'm sure people have said this already (which i have yet to see), however i feel like people have a point in saying that freddie is doing things on purpose. even colin said that the computer was doing things On Purpose. it might be a little crazy but hear me out.

with the security notification, it's a weird thing that it got directed to alice and not the IT guy, right? well, what if the programs intentionally redirected the notification to alice and not colin? i'm sure that chester and norris are familiar with someone going down a rabbit hole and went too deep to turn back. i think they might have sent it to alice because they want sam to stop looking, and he needs to hear it from someone he trusted.

another thing that points to me believing that freddie may be more in the know than we initially thought is the video sent to gwen at the end. but the real reason i have is not if they're doing it, but why. why would they send her this video? what kind of message are they trying to send? could it be that they're trying to warn her? that lena kelly is not someone to be trusted? or maybe they're giving her an answer to a question she had in her head, the reason as to why she hasn't been promoted yet and still the subordinate of mrs. kelly. or maybe, just maybe, they're telling her what it takes for her to get what she wants. maybe it's giving her the key to a position she's wanted for years.

overall, this episode is very good and got my thinking cap on real good. the blood lemon poundcake was also a real treat. have a good day, cheers!

[lyrker]

ok! *asks you about tma*

anon oh my GOD I can never express how much serotonin TMA brings me despite being a tragedy it’s fucking insane. Days on end Jonathan Sims, occasionally accompanied by Gerard Keay or Michael Distortion, rotate in my brain. I’ve been thinking about Weed Elias (og elias) so much as well because he wasn’t a bad guy, maybe a bit spoiled and also high 99% of the time but he did NOT deserve his eyes getting gouged outta their sockets for a crusty old man to inhabit his skin suit instead. I want him back ): bring him back ): the real elias bouchard ):

ALSO just the EVERYTHING, the humanity, the “am I a monster,” doing what you need to do to survive because now Jon needs statements to live but he does not want this, not really. he doesn’t want to hurt people. but he has to do what he has to do to Keep Going and GRHAHGRHWGHRG I AM S O NORMAL ABOUT JONATHAN SIMS THE ARCHIVIST. Plus It’s just. He cares So Much. That’s how he was different from Gertrude, even if he didn’t like people he would NEVER want them dead. He helped the lady who literally kidnapped him and threatened to, and almost did, kill him, and still saved her. He sees himself as so evil,but he’s also so selfless and he keeps saying he’s a mosnter but he’s so fucking human it HURTS. But he becomes confident, confident that he is loved (by his boyfriend !! he got that boyfriend !!) and yet still he can never catch a fucking break, but he is loved, after everybody hating him and leaving him and blaming him, the last thing he hears as he dies is that he is loved, and to the ends of the earth, one way or another, they are together.

He’s so special to me.

He has been hurt, has hurt others, but he was never a bad person, or, never wanted to be a bad person. He trekked a journey to undo what he did, and in the end, though he died, he was told he was loved.

After everything, someone loved him.

[applebutterbabie]

Elias doucheard

[recordscratch-supplemental]

Jonalias Magchard: oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me?

Martin: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

-

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

-

[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

-

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

-

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

-

[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

-

[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

-

[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

[voiceless-terror]

Of Deadlines and Drama

For @jontim-week Day Three: Late

Rating: T

Words: 2.5k

Summary: Jon’s has trouble with his expenses. Tim helps out. 

“Late again? Really, Jon?”

“I know, I know!” Jon types as fast as his shaking hands will allow, but it’s no use. It’s Wednesday and its half past twelve, meaning Rosie will not be accepting his expense report under any circumstances. She’s a stickler for deadlines- at least, when it comes to Jon. They’ve never been on the best of terms, but ever since what Jon has deemed ‘The Incident,’ she’s been downright unpleasant. 

“I thought you set an alarm this time!” Tim says, coming over to lean against his desk. Tim has an alarm for everything - waking up, eating, exercising, going to bed. Jon doesn't know how he stands it. “I didn’t hear anything go off.”

“I might have told you I set one,” he winces, avoiding Tim’s eyes. “And then forgot to.”

“Jon, Jon, Jon…”

“Don’t triple Jon me!” he snaps, attempting to focus on the meaningless numbers in front of him. “I’m stressed enough as is. God, Elias is going to kill me…”

“Why are you trying to impress him?” Tim plops down in the chair beside him and props his feet up on Jon’s desk, raising an eyebrow. He looks infuriatingly handsome in his button up and sweater, a look that Jon has tried to emulate, only to achieve ‘overworked librarian.’ “The only person you should be trying to impress is me. Your boyfriend. The light of your life, the reason you get up in the morning-”

“The reason these are going to be even later than usual,” Jon snaps and knocks Tim’s feet off of the desk with a sharp elbow. Tim yelps and throws Jon a hurt look that he tries and fails to ignore. “I’m sorry. You did tell me to set an alarm. It’s just...these things get away from me.”

“I know.” Tim’s face softens as he scooches his chair over and leans forward, resting his arms on his thighs. “How can I help?”

“You can convince Rosie to accept these. You’re very persuasive.” He turns and gives Tim his best doe-eyed look, though he already knows the answer.

“I am persuasive, aren’t I?” Jon ignores his preening. “But that’s not going to work. You know as soon as she sees your name…”

Jon sighs, resting his chin in his hand. “Yes, I know.”

“What did you do to her, Jon? Run over her dog? I know they scare you, but still...”

“They don’t scare me,” Jon lies, pointedly looking away. “I just...would rather not have them near my person. And you know I can’t drive.”

“What then?” Jon says nothing, focusing instead on chipping away at a small scratch in the wood of his desk. The whole thing’s rather embarrassing, and he’s gone this long without telling anyone. Tim moves his chair even closer, nudging it against Jon’s and squishing him into his desk. He’s effectively trapped.

“C’mon. Pleeease?”

Jon sighs at the wheedling tone. “I...may have snapped at her.” 

“You do that with everyone, though. Unless you said something especially heinous...” Another nudge to his chair. 

“And then... stumbled.”

“...okay?”

Jon closes his eyes. “And spilled my tea all over Elias’s mail.”

Tim guffaws, as expected, and Jon can feel his face warm. It certainly wasn’t his proudest moment, he can still hear Rosie’s screeching and his own stammered apologies. “That’ll do it! God, I wish I’d seen that.”

“It was incredibly embarrassing, and I’m glad you didn’t. Elias wasn’t in, thank god.”

“You could’ve gotten it all over one of those posh suits he wears.” Jon shudders at the thought. Elias is fastidious about his appearance, he would’ve been fired on the spot. Starting to feel claustrophobic, Jon pushes back against Tim’s chair to give himself breathing room and tries to refocus. He’s dawdled long enough.

Tim hums. “Hmm, maybe…”

“Maybe what?” He tucks his head over Jon’s shoulder, probably eying the obvious errors in his report. Jon’s never been good with numbers. 

“Rosie doesn’t accept expenses after twelve, that’s true. But…” Tim trails off, definitely relishing in the small twitch in Jon’s eye when he does it. He enjoys riling him up, and he’s very good at it. Jon contains the urge to elbow him in the stomach.

“But what?” He’s starting to sound like a broken record. 

“But she doesn’t actually give them to Elias until three or four.” Tim smirks at his affronted gasp. Jon’s never been that late, but Rosie’s always going on about ‘deadlines being very important to Mr. Bouchard’ and ‘I’m sorry I just can’t accept these so late, I’ve already given him the pile.’ Jon’s wallet has paid the price for this on more than one occasion- he counts on those reimbursements, and it often leaves him short on cash for the rest of the week. Tim will pick up the check on those days, waving off Jon’s protests and trying to assuage his guilt. Before he can start raging about the newly-discovered arbitrary deadline, Tim cuts in.

“But if I distract her, you can slip them in her little pile and she’ll be none the wiser!” Tim gives him a cheeky grin. It’s...not a bad plan, but Jon’s hesitant at the thought of pulling one over on his boss’s secretary.

“Or I could just wait until she goes to the bathroom and do it then.” Tim’s face falls at the suggestion.

“Or I could distract her.” 

Ah. So that’s what this is about. They haven’t been on an investigation in weeks, and he always gets restless when they’re cooped up in the institute. And a bored Tim is a dangerous Tim.

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! This way we can control the scenario, make sure you have enough time to get in and out.”

Jon raises an eyebrow. “And what if she sees through your antics?”

Tim gives a dramatic gasp, rearing back in his seat and just barely missing a passing librarian. “Are you doubting my acting skills? I’ll have you know you aren’t the only theater kid in this place. And I didn’t want to bring it up, but...you owe me.”

Jon’s heart drops. Of course. Jon can’t coast along on his boyfriend’s paychecks, that’s asking too much. It’s his fault he’s in this predicament, and honestly, he should be thanking Tim for even offering.

“For bailing on that stakeout.” 

Jon pauses, and promptly dismisses his guilt. “I was sick! From a cold you gave me, might I add-”

“Technicalities.” Tim waves a dismissive hand. “C’mon. Do me a favor. Let your boyfriend save the day. Please?” He does his best impression of a kicked puppy, and Jon’s almost afraid he’ll go down on his knees to complete the look.

“Fine,” he sighs, ignoring the answering cheer. “If you must. But how are you going to-”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it,” Tim winks, jumping up from his seat and throwing his bag over his shoulder. “Leave it to me. Finish those up, and I’ll be back before you know it.” He’s already halfway through the door before Jon can say thank you, and only pauses to call back “Have Sasha check for typos! Love you!”

Jon scowls at the snickers that follow this statement, and turns back to his screen. The numbers blurred together, and he’s pretty sure he’s subtracted when he should’ve added. It’s a wonder he ever gets these done at all. 

“Sasha? Can you look at this for me?”

_________

Tim promptly comes back with coffee (which Jon knows he hates) and cronuts, dropping one off at Jon’s desk. “She won’t be able to resist,” he promises with a peck to Jon’s cheek. “When you see us in the hallway, that’s your cue!”

In spite of himself, he starts to feel a little excited. Tim’s exuberance is contagious, and while not as thrilling as an investigation, Jon’s not above a bit of petty revenge. Not even revenge, really, more justice for the pain and suffering of his bank account. And not ten minutes later, Tim and Rosie are chatting amicably as they walk past the library, cronuts in hand. He feels the slightest bit of envy at how easily Tim can make friends, but tamps it down as he tiptoes up the stairs and over to Rosie’s desk. Elias’s door is thankfully closed.

And her desk is...empty. Immaculate. Nothing but a tiny notepad and her usual knickknacks, not a paper in sight. Fuck. Had she already given them to Elias? Is Jon too late? Did Tim waste money on coffee and cronuts for nothing? Calm down, he tells himself, willing his heart to slow. Just...have a look around. 

He tries not to feel too guilty as he rummages through her mail trays and under her place mat. There’s nothing too personal, though he averts his eyes at a list entitled New Year, New Intentions.  It’s when he finally turns to the drawers that he sees it- the corner of a file folder, sticking out of the bottom drawer. Please be it, please be it. He tugs it out, wincing at the small tear it causes and aha! He’s found it. A pile of neatly clipped expense reports is nestled inside, and all he needs to do is stick his in the middle where she can’t see and he’ll be fine-

“Jon?”

The voice startles him so badly he lets out a little yelp, the folder flying from his hands and papers littering the floor around him. He puts a hand on his chest to calm his racing heart and turns around to find Elias, who’s just caught him snooping through his secretary’s desk like a little thief. Jon didn’t even hear the door open. Oh god. I’m fucked. I’m fired.

“I-um, h-hello! Elias.” He gives an awkward little wave and immediately curses himself for doing it. It’s like he’s suddenly forgotten what normal people do with their hands. “I was just...looking for a pen. T-To write Rosie. A note.” 

“A note.” Elias raises one eyebrow, and it’s clear he doesn’t believe a word coming out of Jon’s mouth. To be fair, Jon wouldn’t either. When put on the spot, Jon can’t lie to save his life. “And this file…?” He bends down to pick up the folder clearly marked ‘Expenses’ in bold, black print. Jon winces.

“It...fell out?”

“Oh, Jon.” Elias tuts, and Jon refrains from full body flinching. He has a particular hatred of being scolded, and especially by Elias, of all people. The man he’s desperate to impress, who holds his job in his hands. “There’s no need for the ruse. Deadlines aren’t exactly your strong suit, are they?”

“No,” he mumbles, the words barely audible as he struggles to meet Elias’s eyes. He loves having his flaws pointed out to him. Loves it. “I’m sorry.”

“However, you do fine work.” Jon blinks and there it is- a rare, indulgent smile. It’s incongruous with those strange, cold eyes, but it makes Jon feel better all the same. “You’re one of our best researchers. But if you want to move up in the world, timeliness is of the utmost importance, yes?”

“Y-Yes,” Jon stammers, nodding his head up and down like a puppet. Move up in the world? Jon’s never considered himself ‘promotion material,’ but the thought that Elias thinks it possible fills him with excitement. You do fine work, he said. Fine work! “I’ll do my best.”

“Of course.” Elias offers the folder to Jon’s trembling hands, and gives him a conspiratorial smile. “This, however, can be our little secret, hm? I believe I saw Rosie and Mr. Stoker in the break room, but I think they’ll be back any minute. Best to tidy up before she notices.”

Jon can’t help the beam that spreads across his face. “T-Thank you, Elias. Really. It won’t happen again-”

“I know it won’t.” Elias gives him a brisk nod, suddenly all business, and turns back to his office, shutting the door briskly behind him without another word. Jon takes that as his cue to scurry across the floor, grabbing up the papers as frantically as possible while taking care not to crumple them further. It takes him a few moments, but he manages to get them in order and tucks his own into the pile. He places it carefully in the drawer he found it in, corner sticking out just as before. No Rosie in sight. Thank god.

With that, he bolted. Best not to be spotted anywhere near the scene of the crime. 

______

“Did it work?” Tim rushes into the library, talking entirely too loudly and plopping down on Jon’s desk, sending pens flying. Jon chooses to ignore this. “I brought Rosie her favorites, gave up my choicest gossip to get her out of that seat. Told her if Elias overheard he’d go mental.” Tim pauses to consider this. “Actually, that might’ve been true. It involves a copier and a certain someone-”

“It worked,” Jon quickly cuts him off. He doesn’t need any more info on whatever...that was. “Thank you. But Elias caught me.” Tim looks at him incredulously, as if surprised he survived the encounter. “And he was...okay with it? I mean, he told me it couldn't happen again, but he said ’it’s our little secret.”

Tim blanches at the words. “What?”

“He also said I did fine work,” Jon admits shyly. “I didn’t know he paid attention to me, but-”

“Hang on, ‘our little secret’? Fine work!?” Tim shrieks and Jon hurriedly shushes him, looking anxiously around the library. No one pays attention, used to their antics by now. “What’s that supposed to be, a euphemism?”

“A euphemism? What on earth could that be a euphemism for?”

“I don’t know!” Tim waves a hand around dramatically, and he actually looks a bit put out. Is he...jealous? Jon can’t help the small smirk and Tim notices it right away. “Don’t give me that! I don’t like the way he looks at you. Sasha’s noticed too. It’s downright creepy.”

“The grey is a bit disconcerting, I’ll give you that.”

“It doesn’t match his face! Weird, right?”

“Anyway,” Jon says, eager to cut off yet another tangent. “Your plan worked.”

“Not really.” Tim pouts, kicking his feet out like a toddler and turning away with his arms crossed. Only Tim can manage to make the petulant look work on a twenty-eight year old man.

“Yes, really!” Tim doesn’t turn around and Jon internally rolls his eyes, albeit fondly. “Look, I’ll get my check next Friday with everyone else. And then I’ll take you out to dinner. How does that sound?”

That did it. Tim tilts his head towards him, gives him a playful smile. “Gonna romance me, Sims? Pull out all the stops?”

Jon returns it. “All the second-rate sushi you want.”

“You’re a prince among men.” Tim hops off his desk and gives his forehead a kiss. Jon’s partial to those kisses and he can feel himself melting at the touch, even as his smile turns wicked.

“I could ask Elias if he’s free as well-” 

He doesn’t manage to dodge the pen that flies his way, but he doesn’t mind. Jealousy’s not a bad look on Tim.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30103509

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

as i have previously mentioned, i have spent some time on tma twitter, gathering knowledge, appreciating art and memes, sighing copiously at replies, choking at tweet threads, and all around having a horrible but no doubt addicting time. like slow car crash addicting. but anyway.

what i have learned is this! people have vastly differing but aligned opinions about one elias bitchard, such that they seem to fall on a slider scale almost. and so here i present them to you as i have encountered them in the wild (none of which reflect my own opinion, save for the first of them):

i hate his bitch ass but mostly ironically/as a joke because it's fun to hate him and he deserves it for being such an evil stupid bastard and hurting x character(s), but that's about it. it's not super deep mostly i just like dunking on him

i unironically fucking hate his guts if i met him irl i'd rip his throat out with my bare hands. what a disgusting wretch of a man, just listening to him speak gives me hives. everything about him is Gross, don't even talk to me about him i'll go feral

angrier, more rigid subset of the previous: i unironically hate elias bouchard and do not understand how any of you freaks can possibly stand this evil, abusive, digusting barely human being and then further still wanna fuck him/ship other characters with him, he's not sexy and never has been shut the fuck up

he's uninteresting and boring to me and i don't see why y'all love to talk about him so much tbh :/ subpar villain bitch at best, i barely like him as a character let alone a person. find someone more interesting to talk about, there's a whole assortment

hypothetical indifferent neutral space that i've yet to encounter in actuality, this mf is polarizing lmao even at ppl's least interested attitudes towards him

actually no i lied true neutral is not giving a shit about jonah magnus and instead stanning and pondering about the life of the original weedman bouchard, whoever he may have been. rip the poor poor man he probably didn't deserve to have his eyeballs scooped like an ice cream cone

elias is is such an interesting and complex character to me and i enjoy writing/drawing/talking about him because alongside his general reprehensible and horribly evil qualities as a person he's such a powerful and cunning character. but at his core he's really just pathetic old man who's scared to die and is searching for the power to dominate and manipulate others and extend his existence by any means necessary before his clock runs out. and i think that's both horrible and fascinating.

i ironically love elias/am stupid horny for him because i think running after this nasty literally evil man with high maintenance bitch energy is hilarious and certain art of him really just hits sometimes man, idk lol being/fucking an evil mf can be fun (also making the rest of the fandom keyboard smash at our memes is a plus)

i 100% unironically love/am horny for elias because evil bastard man is just sexy sometimes what do you want me to say? have you heard his voice? would you begrudge me my horrible taste in men? elias dickchard never did anything good for anyone but himself ever in his entire life and i love him for it, good on him for conquering the world to swerve on death, what an inspiration, i love him and wish him the best

bizarre yet interesting subset of the previous that i have only encountered one (1) time, but it impressed itself so strongly i must share: i don't care what happens to jon or martin. i mean that, honest. i'm happy for elias, marvelous worlding ending bastard he is. i hope he wins. no i am not joking. some of y'all are here only for the admiral? i'm only here for elias. god bless.

pls tag urself i'm 'mostly i just like dunking on him'

[rosy-cheekx]

Heat Without Warmth, Light Without Sight

This fic is for the @tma-valentines-exchange and was written for @barnabasbennett (pretty sure, at least!) AO3 link is in the source! Based on the prompt: rewrite episode 159 to feature Tim and Archivist!Sasha.

I’ve been waiting SO LONG to post this! I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter One: Embers

The archives are quiet. So quiet. Sasha can hear the tick of the clock on her desk and the hum of the radiator she had brought in so many months ago, back when her biggest concern was how cold her Archivist office was. Before the idea of heat reminded her of Tim in oh-so-many painful ways.

The Unknowing had been…bad. Daisy had been imprisoned in The Choke, Sasha left unconscious and Basira forever changed. She had seen it, she told Sasha later, the way Tim had stood amidst the rubble of plastic mannequins and brick and mortar, unscathed as smoke billowed into the sky, silhouetted in greys and blacks. It was terrifying, she said, in a completely different way than the Unknowing had been. Basira described Tim as unstoppable in that moment, a train bulleting towards destruction and revenge, a rage in his eyes that only intensified when he saw the unconscious form of Sasha James, bruised and lying in the rubble.

In Sasha’s six-month coma, she had missed a lot. Martin had explained things to her; a sad compassion in his eyes as he stirred sugar into tea. Tim had fallen to the Desolation, The Cult of The Lightless Flame calling him home after they had heard about his sudden resilience to heat and flame. It made sense. Tim had experienced so much loss and destruction in his life, losing Danny and Jon (and, temporarily, Sasha) due to the machinations of The Stranger. His connection to the Desolation had probably been growing when none of them, not even Tim, had noticed. Sasha tried reaching out to him; Tim was still employed by the Magnus Institute after all, but he was sullen at his desk, the air around him smelling faintly of burnt hair and the iced coffees he used to love now simmering slightly in his mug. Sasha didn’t think he could’ve been any more withdrawn than he had been in the ramp up to stopping the Stranger. But here he was, prickly and cold and altogether uninterested in Sasha’s attempts to reconnect with him.

Sasha unfolds the letter, singed at the corners. She must have just missed him. Again. Her heart pounds in her chest as she reads the words, written the slanted, neat print she knew so well.

Sasha,

If nothing else, I will miss you. But that loss is essential, Jude says, to feeding the spark that binds us all. They think Agnes Montague’s spark passed to me when I decided my loss of life was more important than the survival of The Stranger and their ritual. Something about total commitment to pain, self-destruction, etc. There is some satisfaction in knowing how unhappy they are about it, especially Jude. I think she really wanted to be special. You’d hate her. Maybe it’s cliché, but I don’t think I’m coming back from this. It all began, and it all must end. Who knows? Maybe I’ll finally be able to quit.

I    You are truly unforgettable, boss,

Tim.

Sasha had seen so many of the people she loved fall to the fears of this world in which they find themselves trapped. The loss of Jon had come first, when the thing that Was Certainly Not Jon had stolen him away under their noses. This discovery had come with the loss of the heart of their office: Martin. Realizing he had been in love with a lie had broken something in him, and while Sasha did her best to show him compassion, she couldn’t imagine going through it all in his place. The nature of Gertrude’s death had shocked her; Sasha had known her, had seen such a strong woman she had been. To see (or rather hear) her death reduced to a few cowardly gunshots felt…inadequate. Daisy had become softer after surviving the Buried, kinder to Sasha, but there the Hunt was still there, deep in her. Basira and Melanie were fine, but evasive, suspicious, too eager to wield a knife. And now?

Sasha had no friends, no one she could truly trust, no one left besides Tim. She hadn’t stopped trying to care for him, to make herself available, but she refused to keep her heart open for someone so clearly eager to move away from it all, even if that was motivated by a cult of fire and destruction and pain. But that love she had for Timothy Stoker was still there, the idiot who took her out for drinks and dressed up as her once for April Fool’s and had them all over for Guy Fawkes Day (should she had guessed it then, his eyes illuminated by the pyre, drinking in the light and heat of the flames?) and insisted he cook for everyone whenever he got the chance.

Eyes sweeping over the letter over and over, she read the words, trying to hear each of them in his voice, feeling something in her gut twist as she read her name is his handwriting, in his voice, over and over. Tim had said it so many ways: with mirth, frustration, exhaustion, and warmth. There was still so much left to say. There were so many more ways for him to say her name, and Sasha wanted to hear them all.

This letter? This would not be the last time he said her name. Sasha James, the Archivist, would make damn sure of that.

-

Sasha is hurrying through the Institute when she almost collides with Elias Bouchard. His hair is unkempt, shaggy from his time in prison, but he is dressed immaculately, black dress shirt rolled to his elbows and a tie that seemed to shimmer yellow-green when it catches the light.

“You-Elias, what the hell?” Sasha takes an involuntary step back, hand ghosting to the letter opener she had instinctively tucked into her waistband.

“Save the effort, Archivist. I’m only here to help, after all. My sources say Tim has left?”

“Sources?” Sasha spits the word, fingers resting against the mottled blue handle of the blade. “Please. There’s no need to hide what you are anymore, Elias.”

“Hmm, very well.” His fingers drum patiently on his jaw, one elbow elegantly balanced on the opposite wrist. He looks too calm, too relaxed for the anxiety and anger thrumming its way through Sasha’s chest. “So, you don’t want to know where he’s gone?” Fuck. Elias’s eyebrow arches expectantly, eyes staring past her as he focused on what she could now recognize as what she called the Knowledge.

“Elias Bouchard, t̶̡̟̲͓̩̜̣͕͇̟̱͉̹̽̋̑̑̅̊͒́̔̂͠ͅe̶̝͍̜̲̘̙̤̰̬̞͒͗l̴̛͕̜̟̟̰͑̿̎̎́͛͌̽̆͆̓̋̾l̴̟̤͚͉͔̼̄̈́̆̌̏̇͝ ̷͖̙̠͕̜̮̬̟̝̰̫͍̆ṁ̶̨̗̮͍̖͍͖̱̟̍̽͜͝e̴̗̩͒̈́͛̊̽́̿ ̷̧̨̡̦̻̙͎̬̪̞͕͙͖̓͂͂͂͂̊̔̊̕̚͜w̴͈̖̦̒̾̀̽͑̓̑̎̂̇͗̂͒ḩ̸̩̺͎̤̳̰̘̱̣̍ę̵̫͚̖́̇͜r̷̢̘͍̣͚̠͚̫̦̭͌ͅͅͅẻ̵͓͖̆̀̒ ̵͇͕̱̬̻̖͔̲͇͇͊̓͊́̽̍̋̓̈́̎̿̆̕͘͝h̷̨̡̧̨̻̝̲̱̬̻͙̻͋́͒̈͆͛͛̒͂̉̈́̎͜e̴̡̪͓̘̳͇͙̪̠̳͈͔̳͕͗̓̉̎ ̵̢̡̟͍̬͖͔͎̹͇̞͗̓́́i̶̲̬̰͙̖̘̮̠̘̜̙̗̍̈́̀̌̔͌̊͋́̍͌̑̚͝s̶̞̱̥͚̽̔̏͠͝.”

Her voice echoes with persuasion, the smooth words rolling off her tongue before she could consider it. Elias sighs, seeming almost tired with her. “He’s in the Desolation.” Elias sighs, seeming almost tired with her. “Honestly, Sasha, I would have told you without you needing to ask like that.”

She tunes him out, her own Knowing searching for Tim and landing her only with a burning inside her skull. She hisses her pain through her teeth and focuses back on Elias, who seems almost amused.

God, what a bastard. “Ȟ̶̡̱͈̖̱̱̱̤̮̖̳̬̆̿͐͛̾́͗͠͝͝ͅͅo̷̡͎̙̓͗̋̂͊̏̏̅̚͘͝ẅ̶̢̨̧̝̖͚̦̱̟̹̼͕͌͌͌̋̒̆͑̈́̓͛͠ ̶̱̩̜̖̫̼̰̐d̴̢͈͍̗̱̀̉̽͋o̷̢̡̫͈̼̺̹̩̥͕͕͘̕ ̵̢̭̦͍̬͖̪̹͍̬̝͝I̶͕̥̱̤̽̿̃̃̂͐̔͒̒̇̆͗̚̕ ̴̛̞̜̘̥͓̙̗̫̰̙̼̝̀͗͋̊́̕ḡ̴͈͈̗̜̦̇͐̏̿̾̅́̆̎̂̊̕͠e̷̡̡̲̘̞̟̤̗͓̺̱̣̘͐̆̈́̔̎̃͋́ṯ̶̨̺̜̪̺̼̼̟̽̽̍̾̊́͊́̒̕͘ ̵̢͔̟͈̘͚̫̩̭͑̃͘ͅt̸̪̊͛̽̀͒h̴̘̫̖̤̜͕̻̺̯̼̦̟͔̋̍̋̈̌̃͐̈́̍̋e̶̢̛͚͉͕͓̪̖̘͖͇͇̫̲͉̐̀̈́̋̄̃̆̽̃̍͊̓ͅr̵̨͍͖̜͕͈̱̤̤̭͈̳̯̜͈̆͒̾̎̓̓̀̐̈̀̂̉̕͠e̴̦̱̺͓̝͕̥͔̮̓͐͛̚?̸̛̝̞̦͈̦̿͐͌̂̌̆͂̆̔̋͗͒̊”

“Honestly, Sasha, you’re wearing yourself out. Timothy and Jude just left. They were in the library; I’m sure you can follow them. Let your mind follow theirs. Find the right string, if the Mother will pardon my analogy, and pull it. I’m sure they left the door open for you.” He winks, as if enjoying a private joke, and turns on a polished leather shoe, striding towards the Archives with purpose.

Sasha redirects her course and hurries to the library. Is this a trap? Almost definitely. But honestly, she doesn’t care. Rosie, head of the institute while Elias had been “previously occupied," had been the last to leave the Institute, Sasha Knew as she ran, clocking out at 18:02. The librarians and assistants were gone. It was just her. Well, she and Elias, certainly. She was already a pawn in this fourteen-way game of chess; she may as well take down some bishops if this was going to be her end. She has never met Jude Perry, but Tim was right about one thing: she certainly already hated her.

-

In the library, Sasha halts in the doorway, taking in the scene in front of her. The heat is excruciating on her cheeks as she sees a blazed trail of singed books, paper, and manuscripts. The burning in her face and soul is caused not by any fire, but by the sheer anger that someone dared mar her memories of this library, where she had met so many of the people she loves. Loved. No, loves, she decided with certainty. Jon is gone, the true memory of him lost to everything but the errant polaroid, Martin is all but gone, a shell of the warm man they had known, and Tim is just out of reach. But despite all this, maybe in sheer spite of everything they’ve been through, Sasha still present-tense loves each of them.

It is that love, she thinks, that guides her now, more so than the omniscient Eye that paves her way to the Desolation, the scar on reality widening and opening for her before it swallows her whole, the library crumbling into ash around her.

One way or another, she was going to end this.

[curlymantis]

aaaa pls tell me stuff abt your ocs they're all so cool!! 🥺💚

Omg I finally finished answering this!!!!! 👀👀

Farcry 5: Zoë Seed!!

Omg that’s me 😏 she was an entomologist checking out the cool insects of Hope county and unfortunately for her she doesn’t believe in private property when it comes to discovering nature. One day chosen find her trespassing on John seeds property. They think she’s a spy for the resistance as she has a camera, binoculars etc. They take her to the main church (conveniently was a Sunday) once service is over shes handed over to the father and himself and John go through her camera. They only find insect pictures and omg wow she’s not a spy. She’s indoctrinated into the cult and ends up eventually becoming John’s right hand of god 😌🙏 sinners who happen to be an extra annoyance go to her where she makes them confess in whatever way possible. Or they die in the process, whoops 💅🏻 She’s polyamorous with all of the seed siblings including Faith cos like come on now let’s be real they all crave and need loving. However she’s married to John Seed because that baby boy is everything 😤❤️ She also likes to do cult posters and help write songs and sing them cos it’s fun as hell. She is closest with John and Faith Seed specifically out of the 4 Seeds. Other cultists are scared of her, or is it respect? Hmm who knows 😌 She also tortures sinners for fun and chases them around the forest making them as shit scared as possible. Oops 😏

The Magnus Archives: is my oc who is an Avatar of the eye and Rayn Porter is my oc who a avatar of the corruption. They both have the same last name as they are both the same person just if they had gone down different entity routes in their life. I’ll talk about Rose first! (I also have an avatar of the flesh and the vast but I haven’t worked on them yet or got them ‘fully fleshed out’ 😏

Rose Porter: avatar of the Eye, marked by the stranger, the spiral and the vast.

From an early age Rose always felt the need to watch people, to know, to understand. As she got older these feelings only became stronger and she begins to stalk people, not because she finds that person special for any particular reason they just happened to look to long at her and she saw them doing so. That just sets something off In her so now they must be followed, acknowledged, understood and scrutinised (me self projecting right into my ocs 😌). She found the Magnus institute one day as she started stalking Rosie. when she had seen the woman walking into a large glorious building she knew something was off, like the itching feeling you get, the feeling in your gut, the sensation of something important. She did not know what had over come her to walk in the building so quickly as that would ruin her chances of learning further about this person who dared make her feel so uncomfortable. But there she was. She was hired immediately of course as a librarian, then moving on the be an archival assistant, shocking to her. But obviously not to Elias Bouchard who knew just how useful her alignment to his almighty beholder. To say she had a crush on him would be an understatement. She can’t explain it. Some would call infatuation, some would call it chemistry, but smart ones say it’s because they are both devotees to the eye and she is in so much deeper than she has ever anticipated or even realises 👀

Rayn Porter: avatar of the corruption, marked by the flesh, the lonely and the stranger.

Rayn despises people (same queen 🙄) they put animals on a higher level of respect than humans. The corruption took ahold of them as a young child, they would always follow and play with cockroaches as a child. However their mother was to say the least an unempathetic, transphobic and cruel woman to say the least. Rayn was raised in a household full of scrutiny, hate and fear. Because of this had very little friends as the only social interaction they knew was their bitch ass mother they turned to the ‘pests’ of their home. Whether these were the slugs and snails in the basement of their home, or they were the cockroaches, house centipedes and rats that dwelled in their attic. They loved and appreciated them all, but their was still something deeper to it. A deep rot had started to form in Rayn and they hated their mother and family. They hated them for how they had cast them aside for not being female, they hated them for all the mistreatment they had faced as a child. The rot started small, a odd old smell that started to lurk around Rayn. Eventually others would notice the smell but would shrug it off as the smell would soon be covered by the smell of Rayns chain smoking. Then one day Rayn was staring in mirror poking at their face and squeezing. They found a sore on her face and squeezed it, pus comes out but something moves underneath. They squeeze harder and something wriggles forth, it’s a very small, juvenile cockroach, streaked slightly in something slimey. As you can imagine that fucked them up a bit, but they learnt to embrace it. Learnt to love that crawling away just underneath their skin are thousands of little legs connected to cockroach’s of many sizes. Sometimes if not managed roaches will find themselves sneaking out of nostrils, mouth and ears. Sometimes even out from behind her eyes. One way they feed the corruption is they set forth the filth at a selected location. All it takes is for them to place a cockroach down in a building and within a week there will be a infestation so strong causing the people in said building to be taken down with it. The Cockroaches will feed on those that they can over power and The Corruption always needs feeding... (Also just want to add cockroaches themselves aren’t actually dirty, they’re actually obsessive cleaners. the locations they live in are dirty)

Telltale Batman- Roz Traegers:

first encounter with John Doe (the eventually to be known Joker) was at the bar he frequented. They had never once seen him drink a drop of alcohol. He would order beer constantly for his alcoholic sure but never consume it himself. Aside from his alabaster white skin nothing about him seemed out of the ordinary to them. Well except the fact he liked to stare, a lot. You would constantly worry it’s because he was just judging you based on your appearance (a lot of people do) however John just likes to stare at people and found you interesting for some reason (cliches I know, but me and John Doe are basically the same person and I like to think he’d think I’m interesting). Roz has a great dislike towards the people John works with, they don’t appreciate how badly they treat him. Especially Harley. John is so obsessed with Harley and she treats him like absolute shit. Roz had a plan to get Harley arrested, however John found out and threatened to never speak to Roz again. Roz has a soft spot for Mr Freeze specifically from the gang also.

Vampyr: Rose Pine

works as an assistant to Camellia at the florist. Rose isn’t a very chatty person and has had quite a traumatic up bringing. Her mother, sister and father are all unfortunately deceased. Her father killed her mother, then sister, then Rose, then turned the knife on himself. Rose survived her injuries (hence the scar on her throat) and was put out into the adoption system. Roses father believed he had been doing his family a service by taking their lives before they could be claimed by Ekons. Roses father had been a vampire believer long before they had even breeched the city. Rose always waves hello to Jonathan Reid when she sees him galavanting around. He always waves back and occasionally they will exchange a conversation. One evening they exchange more than just brief chit chat when Jonathan is required to save her from a group of feral Skals. Rose is very badly injured from her encounter and Jonathan ends up having to change the sweet little florist he sees most evenings into a Ekon. Rose is also good friends with Charlotte Ashbury and Charlottes mother Elisabeth. I haven’t played Vampyr in a wee while, I want to get back into it soon so plan on adding more to her story.

Outlast: Rosie Porter

Rosie worked as a live in psychiatrist for those at mount massive asylum. She lives on the premises that way patient can be attended to at any time. Her experiences throughout life gives her empathy for those that are locked up, that the other guards and majority of other staff just don’t have. Rosie has always been able to empathise with those who would be considered ‘evil’ whether she empathised out of her own sick fascination or because of her heart hurting too much is another question. Rosies favourite patients are Eddie Gluskin and Chris Walker. She was hired after Jeremy Blaire forcibly admitted Chris Walker. Rosie is enamoured with Eddie and he knows it. Knows he has his little psychologist wrapped around his finger. However Eddie would be a hypocrite if he said he also wasn’t wrapped around her finger. Rosie is forcibly committed to the asylum by Jeremy Blaire they start Project Walrider on the patients. Rosie was against it and threatened to blow the whistle on the whole thing (dumb idea) and Jeremy uses her as the first female Walrider test subject. Rosie has engaged in an affair with her boss Jeremy Blaire when she first started working there. Due to their past ‘hands on’ relationship, Rosie is allowed more time with her patients and allowed to be alone with her patients. This has allowed for her to further her work with her patients, as they’re quite open when the know they aren’t being openly judged by the security staff.

Hannibal: Jessi Trees

is a forensic entomologist who works alongside Beverly, Jimmy and Brian analysing dead people n shit. Jessi first met Will Graham on the scene of a crime when they had both been called out. It was the mushroom killer from memory as the soil was packed with invertebrates filled with evidence. Will has just finished doing his whole ‘this is my design’ when Jessi walks up to him and stands quietly beside him, where they say: “These fuckers are filled with worms and I don’t know shit about worms” Will Graham turns and looks at them like what the fuck? Those are dead people. Jessi merely shrugs, smirks and walks off. Jessi can be described by a lot of people as ‘a cold person’ or ‘indifferent’ but passionate. They dehumanise the corpses they’re working with at that’s the only way they can get justice for them. If they get too caught up in all the sadness of it, they can’t move forward from it. Jessi has a crush on Will Graham and Beverly Katz. Jessi questions Will and Hannibals relationship quietly from the background but never really comments.

Bonus character!! Stardew Valley: Zoë

This bad ass came all the way from Zuzu city in need of a better and different life. They inherit their grandfathers old farm and get it up and running. The town is filled with wonderful, amazing people. But of course Zoë has to want to become close friends with the person who hates me everyone: Shane (they’re kindred spirits, Shane isn’t aware of this however because he seems to think he’s the only person who can suffer from substance abuse and sever depression haha.) Shane hates them of course until they keep harassing him and he reasilizes she’s a lot more screwed up than he was aware. Zoë is close friends with Shane (ends up marrying him one day), Linus (I would fucking die for him and anyone who’s cruel to him gets my foot in the butthole), Leah (they hang out frequently and like to paint in the forest together), Emily (I have a massive crush on Emily haha, she’s so similar to me it’s great), is also friends with Sam’s dad and Jodis husband Kent (Kent suffers from PTSD and I’ve developed a lot of my own techniques to help with my own PTSD so we help each other out. Also Jodi I’m stealing your husband, just kidding, unless). Zoë’s favourite animals on her farm are her blue chickens (raised by Shane) and her horse Aaron. Zoë’s favourite yearly event is the moonlight jellies festival!

[magnificentsapcaddy]

HOW LIKELY THE AVATARS ARE TO VAPE

 Jane Prentiss

Jane might have taken up vaping while she was still mostly human - I see her being a smoker and trying to quit the habit - but every since she became 75% worms, she doesn’t vape as much anymore. It’s basically like setting a bug bomb in her lungs every time, and she’s not here for that.

1/5, might vape if she wasn’t a burlap sack full of bugs

Jared Hopworth

While I’m tempted to say that Jared uses all the off-brand vape fluids because he has 57 lungs and it doesn’t matter if a few of them get some horrible vape-disease, I cannot deny myself the truth. Jared does not vape. He’s been smoking cigarettes since he was 13, he’s not going to stop now.

0/5, this old-fashioned son of a gun will stick with his smokes, thank you very much

Jude Perry

Fuck. Yes. Fuck. Yes. Fuck. Yes. Jude has the best vape rig you’ve ever seen. One mili-ohm of resistance. She takes a hit and the vape melts. She’s inhaling the plastic fumes. She’s inaling the molten lead. She’s blowing a smoke ring now - my god, it’s two smoke rings. They’re connected. They’re both shaped like female signs. She winks at you. You are a lesbian.

5/5, Jude is saying gay rights doing sick vape tricks twenty-four-sev

Peter Lukas

Peter’s tried to vape a few times, but he can’t get ahold of the dang thing. He likes that he can get a nice, strong, minty vape, though. He’s just more of a pipe guy in his heart. But, to be fair, there was one time where he took a huge rip off of it, blew a giant cloud of smoke, and disappeared himself, and he thought that was pretty badass.

2/5, will vape for a laugh but that’s it

Annabelle Cane

What a silly question, asking if Annabelle vapes! She doesn’t vape. You vape. She was just talking to you, remember? She was rating everyone she knew on how likely they are to vape, and it just so happens that you’re at the top of her list.

5/5, you are the most likely to vape and least likely to wonder what’s in it

Michael/Helen

Neither of the physical incarnations of The Spiral have actually come across a vape, but if they did? Can you even imagine? They would blow a nine dimensional vape cloud at you, and make no mistake - you would die from it. Its geometries would pierce your skull and kill you instantly, but fuck, that’s a cool trick. That’s bad ass, dude, I wish I could do that.

4/5, I eagerly await them pocketting a vape off one of their victims

Maxwell Rayner

Miserable old man. He hates any form of light or fire, and that includes vapes. But, credit where credit is due - he did try to vape his soul into a kid that one time.

1/5, vaped once and was shot to death immediately

Michael Crew

I can’t imagine that Michael would be too fond on anything electronic, given his experiences as a child. And besides, while you’re out there blowing smoke clouds like some sort of plebian, he’s out here falling through his sky dimension, breathing in real clouds.

0/5, will not vape and will not admit it’s because he’s afraid of getting shocked by it

Jonathan Sims

I thought about this for a while, and you know that thing where there’s always a tape recorder right by John when he needs it? That, but with a vape pen.

3/5, it’s 2 AM and I’m too tired to think of anything funnier for Jon

Elias Bouchard

I could really see Elias vaping. Canonically, he was “a bit of a pothead” when he was younger, so he’s definitely getting that Jimmy-Buffet-brand 100% THC vape juice. Plus, you know he’s out there sending Basira down to Guatemala to retrieve what he says is a very important relic needed to stop the apocalypse, but really it’s just a really kickass vape that you can’t get in the UK. He’s gotten his vape confiscated 8 times now, and every time he just pulls a couple strings to get a new one.

5/5, will manipulate you into getting him a new vape

Tom Han

The fuck’s wrong with you? You can’t vape in a butcher shop. That’s not up to OSHA standards.

3/5, he might vape, but never inside because he has some sense of decorum

Simon Fairchild

THIS GRANDPA VAPES

5/5, Simon Fairchild is ripping the dankest cotton everyday

[ihateeliasbouchard]

i fucking hate elias bouchard. oh my god. he sucks so fucking much.

[espurrclass]

ELIAS BOUCHARD?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING ELIAS BOUCHARD GOD DAMN FOOL INSTITUTE DIRECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING ELIAS BOUCHARD

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT ELIAS BOUCHARD I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SUCH A FUCKED UP ARCHIVE WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST LET YOUR EMPLOYEES QUIT IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST MOUSTACHE GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said elias bouchards waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with elias bouchard speaking one more word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some victorian shithead who wanted to be king of a ruined world for no reason ill go ham.

BETTER have had a statement make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateEliasBouchard

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his archive and I lost it

where the fuck is elias bouchard if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch bouchard and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final statement he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when elias died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who created an entire institute and got jon marked by every entity just to start the apocalypse

[the-sociest-soc]

ELIAS FUCKING BOUCHARD I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH he has a stupid fucking collection of bodies how fucking lame do you have to be to reincarnate yourself fucking idiot shouldve died centuries ago fucking pipe murdering ass bastard not that im not grateful jugen the bitch is dead but elias is such a rat and i wish gerad keay had gotten the chance to smite him while he was alive I FUCKING HATE ELIAS conceited little spying ass clown bastard beholding ass rat elias bouchard if i met elias bouchard i would spit in his face and shit on his shoes and if i had the chance i would hit him with a lead pipe just to spite him jonah magnus deception apologising little fucking bitch i dont give a fuck how important he thinks he is he is nothing but a 5 times divorced pissboy with nothing but the power of a fear god that makes him interesting and YES OKAY HIS VOICE IS GOOD I GET IT i am a lesbian i am immune but MY GOD I HATE HIM every little thing this fucker does fuels an innate hatred deep in my soul i cannot stand this clown he is worse than anything when time said the great grimauldi was in town he meant elias because elias is not a clown he is an entire circus imagine ending the world to prove a point? i cannot stand how fucking petty this rat fucking bastard is i hope he reads my mind and sees how much i hate him FUCKING BATSRAD RAT BITCH FIGHT ME ELIAS i will go down to the magnus institute and burn it down out of spite since thats how he wants to be because elias bouchard is a crusty old man and i hate him