#my good friend editor matt

[remembersunflowers]

i am sure that if Jonathan had access to a mirror;

he would see a fresh wound upon his neck- red, irritated, with a fleck of dried blood on his collar

he would see a version of himself that has been denied true restful sleep, experienced the horrors, and unimaginable stress

he would see the dimming hope in his eyes, a candle lit for a love he may never see again that’s growing darker …

Oh, what a foul bauble of vanity those mirrors are, what wickedness they reveal in their silver depths

[another-chaotic-bisexual-vampire]

“Do you know what day it is?” I answered that it was the Second of May. She shook her head as she said again:

“Oh, yes! I know that! I know that, but do you know what day it is?” On my saying that I did not understand, she went on:

“It is the Eve of Dracula Daily. Do you not know that to-night, before the phone chimes with an email from Editor Matt, that we must leave out Paprika Hendl and wild roses for our good friend Jonathan Harker?"

[siampie]

Risk and Reward||Chapter 1: When I Met You

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: You have a hard time settling into your new life but with new acquaintances and newfound friendships. You slowly find your footing.

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains smut (not sure, don’t know how to write it but I’ll try), angst, fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, childhood trauma

A/N: So, this is a first for me. Please be indulgent. I am no stranger to writing fiction. I’ve done it before just not on this platform. Also, this is my first time writing in 2nd POV and for Matt Murdock. There isn’t much of him in this chapter but I hope the small bits I have is as close as it is to his character. I did what I always do before writing fiction, read other writers' work and see how they capture the character and watched videos or episodes to get a good feel of the character. So, I hope you will like it. Feedback is welcome. And just enjoy! Also English is not my first language.

Chapter List || Next Chapter

Masterlist || Join my tag list

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Song the title is referring to:

You gave me a reason for my being

And I love what I’m feelin’

You gave me a meaning to my life

Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing

And it all began when I met you

“Another day, another week.” You whispered to yourself as you stepped in the building where you work. You smiled quickly at the receptionist before making your way to the elevator. After you made the big move across the states, you were lucky to land a job as a proofreader in a publishing house. It wasn’t your dream job but it was the next best thing.

For as far as you can remember, you have always been taking care of your family. Many expectations and responsibilities were put on your shoulders from a very young age. So, when your brother stepped in and decided to move your father in with him, you felt some relief. A load was being taken off of your shoulders. You loved your family. But over the years, you had started to resent them slightly. You resented your father for being sick. You resented him for taking out his bad moods on you. You resented your siblings because they get to live their lives. You resented them for leaving you behind in the dust. You knew you loved them but you resented them. And you didn’t want to hate them. So, you left.

You made the move to Hell’s Kitchen, six months ago and you had big plans. First of which, was to properly kickstart your life. You didn’t think it would be easy. You knew it would have been a challenge but you didn’t think it would be that hard. After six months, you thought you would have made some friends or at least some acquaintances. But shy as you were, and as cautious as you were, making friends did not come easy for you.

You dropped your bag on the ground next to your chair. And dropped your coat on the back of it. Your desk was already stacked with manuscripts that needed to be proofread. You always started your day the same, first you read your emails and answered the most important ones. Then came coffee and then came reading with a red pen. You were to review any typos that may have somehow slipped past the author and the copy editor. You were also to review for issues like kerning and stacking and whether the running head is consistent. Proofreading was the last step before publication. You knew it was an important step, so you did it thoroughly. And you did it well. At least, you thought you did. Your boss had not complained about your work so far. And you took it as a good sign.

One of your coworkers stopped by your desk and softly called your name. You looked up at her. You knew her, you had barely interacted with her a few days before. She had long, red hair, that you loved, and legs for days. Her name was Amelia. A few nights ago, as you were leaving after workhours, she was standing outside of the building. A cigarette between her lips as she was looking for something.

“Excuse me?” She stopped you. You turned to her. “Do you have a lighter?”

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly. Your best friend from high school, had convinced you to buy a pack of lighter once. Telling you that it was the best way to meet people and to make friends. More precisely to meet your future boyfriend. “There you go.” You handed her the lighter.

“Thanks.” She lit her cigarette before giving it back to you. She took a long drag at it. The tension in her shoulders dropped. “I needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” You smiled at her and turned to leave.

“You’re that new proofreader, aren’t you?” She asked you.

“Yeah.” And you gave her your name.

“That’s a pretty name.” She remarked. “I’m Amelia.”

“Nice to meet you.” Amelia was not a proofreader. She was an acquisitions editor. The one, literary agents would come to, to sell a book. The book landed in her hands first, and if they made it past her, they landed in yours last.

You stayed with her long after she finished her cigarette. You walked with her because it was dark out. And Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t the safest place to be after dark. And there was strength in numbers. Coincidentally, your flat and hers weren’t that far apart. So, you walked her home before going to yours.

After that, you had not seen or heard much of Amelia. You thought that was it. But there she was, talking to you.

“So, some of us are going to grab a drink after work and I thought that maybe you would love to join us?” She sat on your desk.

“It’s barely 9 and you’re already thinking about the end of the day.” You scoffed lightly.

“Well, I need something to look forward to.” Amelia laughed. “So, wanna come?”

Your default answer was ready to come out of your mouth. You were already making up excuses to not go. And then you stopped yourself. Why shouldn’t you go tonight? There was no one waiting for you at home. You had no obligations. It could be a fun night out; you could even make a few new friends. Might even start a new friendship with Amelia. After all, she came to seek you out. She wanted to invite you.

“Why?” You had not meant to ask this out loud.

“What?”

“Why invite me? We barely talked to each other? Why ask me?”

“You said you just moved here in Hell’s Kitchen, remember?” Amelia gave you a tight smile. And you nodded at her words. “I figured I do the nice thing and invite you to come with us. Since, you don’t really know anyone here.”

Now, you felt stupid. You could feel your neck and cheeks heat up with your embarrassment. Not everyone was going to hurt you. There were good people in the world, you had to remind yourself of that.

“Sorry.” You apologized quickly. “I—I would love to come.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly.

“Good, I’ll come and get you when it’s time to go.”

You pressed your hands against your neck. If you could see yourself, you were sure there would be splotches of red all over it. Of course, you had to go and ask why? If “no” was your default answer most of the time, “why?” wasn’t too far behind. When your niece had first told you she loved you, your first answer wasn’t to say it back. It was to ask her why? And she had answered very sweetly: “Because you’re funny and you give the best hugs. And you always play with me.” And after that you never asked again. You only said it back. Because you did, you loved her very much.

You did not know why you did this. It was almost as though you did not believe that good things could happen to you. And if it did, it was not sincere. It was because someone wanted something from you and once, they got it. They’d leave you high and dry.

As the end of your day was nearing. Your anxiety was starting to get the better of you. You dreaded the moment Amelia would come and pick you up. You had agreed to it earlier because you genuinely wanted to. But now, all you wanted, was to go home. Not because you were drained or overstimulated. No, because you simply did not feel like going anymore. You were hoping she would forget about you. Or at least, it would have been cancelled.

It wasn’t cancelled. And you couldn’t just bail on them. It was the first time, since you arrived in Hell’s Kitchen, that you had been invited to hang out. If you bailed on them now, you might not be invited ever again. So, you went. And who knows, you might have some fun.

“Josie’s.” You read out as you stopped in front of the bar with Amelia.

“Yeah, it’s a dive bar, really.” Amelia told you quickly. “But the drinks good enough.”

“Okay.”

She pulled you in after her. You both stopped at the bar to order your drinks and she then took you to their table. It was a small gathering. You recognized a few people, there was the receptionist; Clara. Then, there was another proofreader, you had interacted with. Barely. His name was Sebastian and some other people. You sat next to Amelia.

As soon as you sat down, they resumed their conversations. You were a silent observer. You laughed at their jokes. You listened intently to what they were saying. And you were really brief when they asked you questions about yourself. And redirected the attention on someone else as quickly as possible. You did not want the spotlight to be on you.

While your coworkers were conversing with one another, you couldn’t help but glanced around you. Your eyes travelled over the numerous patrons in the bar. Bikers, blue collar workers and some white-collar workers. They were many. The bar seemed to be quite successful.

And then your eyes landed on him.

Dark haired, with red tinted glasses and a cane. His plump lips were begging to be kissed, his jawline was to die for. His hair looked soft to the touch and you were itching to run your fingers through them. His shirt was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination. You could tell that he was well built underneath it. And his smile—oh, his smile was the most beautiful, you’ve ever laid eyes on. It lit up his whole face. Made him look younger. He looked perfect in every way.

You quickly darted your eyes away. You did not want to be caught staring. However, it was too late. Unbeknownst to you, Amelia had caught you looking.

“So, you look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Amelia said as she pulled you to the bar, to grab another drink.

“I am.” You nodded. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“No problem.” Amelia nudged your shoulder. “Would you want to do it again sometimes?”

“Yes, but can we space them out?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” She snorted. “It’s only when the urge strikes.” And she turned away from you. She looked over her shoulder briefly. “So, someone caught your eye.”

“What? No.” You answered quickly.

“That’s not what I saw.” She smirked at you. Josie pushed your beers towards you. “You kept staring at glasses over there.” She waved her hand towards perfect man.

“No, I did not.” You protested while pulling her hand down.

“Oh, come on!” Amelia insisted. “It’s not a crime. He’s pretty and you have eyes. It’s okay to stare a little.”

“Stop.”

“But you know what would be even better?”

“I’m going to regret this.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “What?”

“If you spoke to the guy. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Rejection.” You simply answered.

“Well, rejection is part of the game.” She shrugged. You gave out a deep sigh, and put your chin in the palm of your hand. “You got nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

Nothing to lose? Easy for her to say. After all, she wasn’t the one who had her heart broken, so many times, that there was barely anything left of it. When it came to the matters of the heart, you did not think that the risks were worth it. Even if it was for a Pretty Boy.

Your eyes landed on him again, in spite of yourself. His eyes seemed to be on you and Amelia. Almost as though he was directly looking at you. But he was blind, right? That would be impossible.

“You’re staring again.” She teased you. And you turned back to the bar quickly.

“Drop it.” You told her sternly. “It’s not worth it.” Her eyebrows went into her hairline. “Plus, a guy like him would never go for a girl like me.”

“What? Beautiful and sweet?”

“I’m not beautiful. I’m not ugly but I’m not beautiful. I’m average at best.” You shook your head. “And I’m not sweet.”

Amelia looked at you baffled by your defensiveness over compliments. You acted as though she insulted you. She pushed your beer away from you.

“First, those were compliments and not insults. So, take them.” Amelia said. “And why would he go for someone else when he could go for you?”

“You’re being this nice to me over a lighter?”

“It’s not just about the lighter.” She told you. “You walked me home. You didn’t have to but you did. It was very kind and sweet. Thus, proving my point. You are sweet.”

“It was practical. My flat isn’t too far away from yours. And it was as much for your safety as it was for mine.” You shrugged. “It’s dangerous at night in Hell’s Kitchen.”

Amelia rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. “You are going to take that compliment. I will beat it into you, if I have to.”

“That would be assault.”

“You thing you’re funny, uh?”

“I think I’m adorable.”

“Bitch, you’re testing my patience.” And that got a laugh out of you. She shook her head and laughed with you. “You really are annoying.”

“That’s more like it.” You grinned at her. “Want me to walk you home again?”

“Yeah,” She nodded and clinked her beer with yours. “We finish our drinks and then, we’re good to go.”

“Okay.”

She waved her finger at you. “But this conversation is not over.”

“What conversation?” You retorted, taking on a faux air of innocence.

Amelia glared at you which elicited a chuckle out of you. “Put a few drinks in you and you turn into a comedian. Who would have thought?”

“I could have mentioned it. Save you some time.”

“Do you need to have an answer to everything?”

“Should I answer that or--?”

“Oh, shut up.” And you snorted.

She raised her beer to her lips and toss it back. She gulped the rest of the bottle down and slammed it back onto the counter. Both of your empty bottles were left on the counter and you walked back to your small group of friends. On your way there, your eyes automatically found Pretty Boy, once again. Again, his gaze seemed to be on you and you dropped your eyes to the ground immediately. Feeling guilty that you were staring again, you let out a long sigh and muttered to yourself. “If he’s ever going for someone, it would be for Amelia.”

“There you go.” Amelia handed you your coat and bag. “What are you muttering to yourself again?”

“What do you mean again?” You asked stunned, blood rushing to your neck and cheeks. “You caught me doing that a lot?”

“You are not really trying to hide it.” Amelia shrugged. “So, what was it?”

“Nothing. It was nothing.” You pouted while you put on your coat.

“Was it about Pretty Boy?” She smirked at you.

“Oh, stop!” You said as sternly as possible with your lips jutted out in a pout. “It wasn’t about Pretty Boy.”

“Hmm,” She nodded smugly. “I’ll pretend I believe that.” She laced her arm with yours as you both exited the bar.

“He is really pretty.” You smiled shyly. Amelia’s shoulder nudged yours, as she giggled along with you.

“Next time, we see him. You’re talking to him.” You groaned at her words.

That night was the first time, you ever laid eyes on him. And you thought it would be the last time.

What were the chances for you to stumble upon him in this city ever again? He could be living outside of the city. Or it was only chance that brought him there tonight. And this was a once in a lifetime chance to meet the love of your life. And you blew it.

“Shut up!” You groaned as you slapped your forehead. “I did not blow my chance because there wasn’t one to begin with.”

“Voices in your head?” Amelia put down the lighter next to you.

“They’re really loud today.” You shook your head. “And you don’t have to bring it back all the time. You can keep it.”

“I won’t have an excuse to come and see you. anymore”

“You don’t really need one.” You sighed.

“True.” She smirked. “Wanna go to Josie’s tonight?”

“What are we celebrating?” You retorted.

“Nothing.” Amelia shrugged. “I thought maybe we could blow off some steam.” She shrugged and sat down on your desk. “Seeing as those last two months were kinda crazy.”

“Yeah, they were.” You agreed. “I mean we are nearing the end of the season.”

As it were in the publishing world, books are published in a three-season cycle: Winter, Summer and Fall. Winter season came to a close by the end of April and the datelines were getting closer. For the last two months, you and your team had been working nonstop. You and the author of the book you were proofreading, were going back and forth about editing issues he had. And his anxieties regarding the matter were also affecting you. Under pressure and anxious, you and your coworkers had no time to go back out.

“I could use the break.” You leaned back in your chair. “And a couple of beers.”

“It’s a date.” Amelia got back on her feet. “Meet you by the reception desk.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Amelia and you were on the sidewalk in front of Josie’s. She was smoking a cigarette before you both get in.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Amelia asked you.

“I like the smell of it.” You shrugged.

She took another puff before she elbowed your side. You glared at her.  Her pointy elbow dug into your side painfully. “What’s that for?”

“It seems you’re in luck tonight.” She looked down at you. And with a jerk of her head, she indicated at something behind you.

You turned around and there he was. Tapping his cane on the sidewalk, holding the arm of a beautiful blonde. There was a man, blonde also, walking on his other side. Pretty Boy’s tie was loose around his neck and slightly crooked. A giant smile was on his face as the beautiful lady on his side threw her head back in laughter. You kept your eyes on their little group as they disappeared into the bar.

“Alright, tonight’s the night.” Amelia took a last puff out of her cigarette.

“What?” You turned to her confused.

“We agreed that next time we see him here, you would talk to him.”

“I did not agree to anything. You agreed with yourself.” You told her as she started to drag you toward the bar. “Amelia, stop!” You pulled your arm away from her.

“What are you so afraid of?” Amelia huffed in annoyance.

“Rejection. Humiliation. Mortification. Embarrassment.” You started to list out.

Sure, he was handsome. He was painfully handsome. And although, you had thought of his lips on yours, of his hands running through your hair as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear. Your hands flew to your ears at the thought. They warmed up as your blood rushed to them. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t talk to him.

“I’m perfectly fine with watching him from afar.” You said quietly, dropping your hands. “Can we go somewhere else, please?” You crossed your arms over your chest, making yourself as small as possible.

She dropped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side. “We already here, so we might as well go in.” You started pulling away from her. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Relax.” She pulled you back in and turned you towards the doors.

“Promise?” You put your pinky out.

“Promise.” She hooked her pinky with yours.

In most situations, you weren’t afraid to go after what you wanted. Of course, you had to pass it through a few people first. Just to make sure you were making the right decision. Especially, when it came to your job. But when it came to relationships—romantic ones, you never took the first step. You were always afraid that the people you wanted—you desired—wouldn’t want you back. Which explains your lack of experiences when it came to dating. And the disappointing sexual experiences you had.

You sat at the bar and ordered your beer. Amelia sat beside you but kept looking over her shoulder. You turned briefly to where she was looking. And surely enough, she was looking directly towards Pretty Boy and his friends. You sighed and turned back around.

“You promised, remember?” You told her. “Pinky promised. Those are sacred.”

“Yeah, I know.” She pouted and turned back around. “You’re going to regret it later.”

“Don’t I know it?” You exhaled deeply.

How many times have you let someone go before you were too afraid to speak? How much longer will you stay up at night wondering about what ifs? How much longer will you stand in the way of your own happiness? How much longer will you live in fear?

There was comfort in fear. It kept you on your toes. It told you where the edge was. It helped you survive. There was nothing wrong with fear. There were no broken hearts, no hurt feelings. It was safe.

And yet—you wished you could take that step. You knew you could. You’ve done it before. You left the comfort of your home. Of everything you’ve known to come here in Hell’s Kitchen. What was the worse that could happen in talking to him? Nothing, right? It was just talking. A simple conversation between two people. Or maybe, you would just give him your number. He could call you if he wanted to. If not—well, you would keep wondering why he didn’t call you. The thought of it was torture enough.

You glanced back over your shoulder at Pretty Boy. He was no longer sitting with his friends. His coat was still there on the back of his chair, but he was gone. You turned back to your drink, and sorrowfully starting to play with the condensation on your beer.

“What can I get you, Murdock?”

“Just another beer, Josie, thanks.”

You turned your eyes towards the voice. And there he was. So, much more handsome up close. His voice was nice and deep. Music to your ears. You turned your eyes away from him. Your heartbeat was now racing in your ribcage. You looked up at the ceiling, searching for some sort of answers.

“Hey, I’m gonna go out for a smoke.” Amelia announced slamming her bottle on the counter.

“I’ll come with you.” You squeaked out.

“You should definitely stay and enjoy yourself.” Amelia pulled her hair out of the collar of her coat. “I’ll be back in a moment. You should—you know strike up a conversation or two.” And she pointedly looked at the man by your side.

You gasped as she left. “You promised!” You called after her. “Pinky promised.”

“What did she promise?” Pretty Boy asked you. A grin plastered on his face.

You took a few minutes to answer, your eyes following Amelia’s exit out of the bar. And let out a breath. “To not make me do something I didn’t want to do.”

“And what was it? The thing you didn’t want to do.”

You couldn’t help the small grin that came onto your face before you answered. “Striking up a conversation with someone.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Why not?”

“It’s kind of terrifying for me to—talk to people.” The blood was rushing to your chest, your heart was slamming against your ribcage.

“You’re talking to me now.” His voice seemed lower as he spoke.

You scoffed. “True. I am.”

“How does it feel?” His lips twitched up at the corners.

“Not as terrifying as I thought.”

He chuckled. And you smiled at the sound. “I’m Matt.” He extended his hand out to you.

You put your hand in his. Your breath hitched in your throat as your skin touched his. You cleared your throat before giving him your name.

“You have a pretty name.” He told you.

“You make it sound prettier.” You quipped back, feeling braver now. His eyebrows flew high on his forehead before he let out a laugh. You laughed along with him. “Nice to meet you, Matt.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.” He nodded, this boyish grin never leaving his face.

That was the night you officially met Matt Murdock. It wasn’t as daunting as you thought it would be. In fact, speaking with Matt came easy to you. His eyes were unseeing and yet, they were always on you. And for once in your life, you did not mind the attention.

You didn’t think anything life altering would come of it. If anything, you thought you were gaining another friend.

Little did you know…

Chapter List || Next Chapter

[st4rgzer]

MATT BUT ITS THE AUDIO I SENT U

UNREQUITED PT. 2 matt sturniolo

summary: pt 2 of unrequited love, you make some plans that take a turn for the worse

genre: PURE angst

cw: mentions of self deprecation, flirty jokes

a/n: for my lobe, @iha8you , hope you enjoy it, sorry for what happened again, fuck him!

Its been 2 months since i started distancing myself from the triplets and anything involving them, more precisely, matt.

Of course they noticed, i have more than 11 missed called from nick, not trusting my messages saying “im fine, just busy, ttyl” Im never like that, not with them at least. Today I’ve made up my mind, im going to put my silly feelings aside and hang out with my friends, its was i need, it’ll do me good, i know it will. They pick me up from my house, the drive to theirs being the most awkward thing in the world, worse than telling a server at a restaurant “you too!” In response to “enjoy your food”, yeah. No one said a word, that was the worst, its everyone expected someone to say something but no one dared to break the silence. I think I could see matt smirk in the rear view mirror, I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, did he find this amusing? We arrived home a few minutes after, which felt like an eternity. I undid my seatbelt and we all went to the front door, waiting for nick to get the keys, he fiddled with them, trying to open the door

“Whenever you want nick” Chris said sarcastically, annoyance visible in his voice, as he always did when he bickered with his brother. Eventually, he got the door open and we all got set up inside, I sat on the couch with nick next to matt and chris.

“Do y’all wanna watch a movie or…?” Nick said looking around, everyone nodded, including me, I would rather just watch a movie then have to talk. I cleared my throat and crossed my legs, getting comfortable. Nick got up after putting on a scary movie and went to get some drinks and snacks

“I’ll come help you!” Chris exclaimed, he probably just wanted to make sure no one got his pepsi, but whatever. I come to the realization me and matt are alone on the sofa, the movie is paused, we glance at eachother awkwardly, even if we never argued or said anything about how i felt, we both knew something was up, he was the first one to break the silence.

“Hey you can talk to me you know, you act like you love me or something” he laughed off, my stomach dropped, did he know? No, that’s impossible. I laughed along.

“No I’ve just, just been really busy and-“ i get cut off. “C’mon don’t tell me that bullshit, I know you haven’t been THAT busy to hang out with your favorite friends” he said rolling his eyes, he hit my shoulder playfully. He touched my shoulder. I looked down, trying to find a better excuse, or hoping that he’d just let it slide.

“Well, I’m just reall-” saved by the bell. “LOVEBIRDSSS got the popcorn, drinks, and ready for another hour of edward scissorhands” Nick said placing the popcorn onto the table, crossing his legs over the couch, and grabbing the remote. I let out a sigh of relief, matt looked over at me and huffed, im sure he’ll forget. Chris put his feet over matt’s lap and sipped his soda.

After the movie ended, it was fenomenal as always by the way, we got to talking, great.

“So y/n, what have you been up to? We really haven’t seen you at all these months” Chris spoke between handfuls of popcorn. Nick nodded along

“Well i-“ I glanced over at matt, he was looking at me, of course he would, im speaking, what am i even saying? “I’ve had a heavy month of recording and editing videos, im in the middle of looking for a new editor, AND im getting my drivers license, so yeah, pretty bus- occupied…” I explained to them, half of that was true, i WAS looking for a new editor, just not actively doing so, and i AM getting my license, just not till January…but they bought it, which is the important part.

“Well we’ve all missed you around here” nick scooched next to me. I smiled in return.

“Yeah especially matt” Chris said suggestively, prolonging the word matt in a singsongy voice. Im sure he didn’t mean it that way, was he mocking me?. Matt just rolled his eyes.

“Sure, well im not the one who’s in love with me” he smirked at me, I scoffed, again? Really? Its like everyone is in on a big inside joke but me, and i hate it.

Nick notices my discomfort and diverts the attention from me.

“Hey how about we call Alanha and Madi and we go to Mcdonalds or something” he suggested. “Yeah that sounds great!” I responded, the other two agreed in unison, and we left the previous subject alone, thank god.

As we pulled up to Alanha’s house, Madi and her went out of the door and got into the backseat next to me and Nick, we squeezed in all we could, we laughed about it a bit, it was a relief to see them really, Madi was the only one, along with some other gfs, that knew about it.

“Y/n! Its so good to see you, its been forever” Alanha side hugged me, with difficulty in the cramped car.

“Yeah i know, its good to see you guys too” I smiled at both of them, the car ride to the Mcdonalds drive thru was short, thankfully. Matt lowered the music as the speaker took our order, everyone whispering theirs to him, he remembered my order. We pulled into the parking lot, sorting out all the food.

We decided to eat out in the car park, it was dark so there was no one there, so it was quiet and peacful, we were eating our food and making jokes, Matt kept on slipping little flirty remarks but I ignored them, after all, he was just making fun of me.

“Fuck arent you guys cold?” Madi shivered, rubbing her hands together, it was chilly but we all had at least a hoodie on.

“Here, im warm from all the food” Matt took off his hoodie. He handed it over to her. She put it on. “oh” i thought.

All the sounds around me kind of tuned down, furrowing my eyebrows and snapping myself out of my state, my breathing got a little heavier, i shook my head. Why was a being so dramatic? For the love of god, he just gave her his hoodie, its not like he declared his undying love for her or something, either was it still hurt a little, im lying, it hurt a lot. Madi put her hands in the pocket of Matt’s black ransom hoodie, she smiled and the conversation carried on, but I wasn’t paying attention

“Y/n? Y/n are you theree?” Nick waved a hand in front of my face.

“Sorry I just zoned out there for a sec” I laughed somehow, I didn’t know if it was really visible in my face how upset I was.

“Oh im sorry did you want my hoodie” Matt joked, everyone else laughed along, it was an innocent little joke for them, i get it. I bit the inside of my cheek, he took my feelings as a hilarious thing, as if I was the kings jester. I breathed in, trying not to let the stinging feeling of tears in my eyes win over, I didn’t wanna be the one to say they wanted to go home, so i just waited, not participating in the conversation, but laughing and nodding along at the right times to not raise any suspicions, eventually, Alanha said she had to be up early in the morning, if we could go home, so we did.

“Guys just drop me off here” I sighed, getting out of the car, waving little goodbyes to all of them. Another successful night, drained, the only comfort being my bed and being enveloped by my fluffy sheets. Another night wondering if there’s something wrong with me, and another night realizing once again that hope is, indeed, a dangerous thing for someone like me to have.

a/n: everyone say “fuck you danny!” 🙂🙂 @iha8you

should i do a taglist or something?😭 tell me if u dont wanna be on this

@dwntwn-strnlo @oneirophobic @20nugs @mettsturniolo @iha8you @lvrsparadise @gabbylovesreading

[babygirlmurdock]

Unexpected Connection

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your friend convinces you to go to a singles event only for you to meet Hell’s Kitchen infamous lawyer.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: mild swearing, alcohol

a/n: heyyy lol so this is my First piece of fiction. i’m trying to get better at writing fiction and this actually came to me when something like this was actually brought up to me recently lol so i thought hey why not try to write something about it?

——————————————————————————

You’ve been single for quite some time now. Your last breakup was nasty, left your heart shredded; you weren’t too sure when you’d be truly ready to date again. Your friends have been helpful, pushing you to get out there and meet new people. Get your mind off your ex, y’know?

Swipe after swipe. Messages that are painfully one sided. Or men that just want to hook up or want something casual.

“Ooh, I just got this advertised to me on Instagram,” Jill says to you. Jill is a coworker turned friend. You perk up from your desk to see what she was talking about, “a meet and mingle this Saturday at the Refinary rooftop. We should definitely go!”

“Ugh, I just don’t know Jill. All men have done is just disappoint me and nothing has compared to Jam— ”,

“James. I know. But maybe the guy that is way better than James will be there. Your soulmate could be here and you would never know! C’mon it’ll be fun, I think. Plus meeting people in person is way better than on the apps,” she leans up against your desk. You worked as an editor at the New York Bulletin. It was an internship turned full time position after you graduated college. You dreamed of New York one day, and it still feels surreal that this is your reality.

You are sure your friends were tired of you sulking about James. It’s been well over 6 months and he’s probably already moved on while you’re stuck in this trench of dating.

“Okay. Fine. I hope there’s good drinks because Lord knows I’ll need that liquid confidence.” You scrubbed your face.

Jill squeals, “I’m so excited!! It starts at 7.”

——————————————————————————-

“Matt! It would be so fun, talking to beautiful women all night and who knows, maybe take one home!” Foggy hints to Matt about this meet and mingle.

“I’m really not in the cards to be dating right now, Foggy,” Matt says, shuffling through some papers. The mid-afternoon sun beamed through Matt’s office as Foggy stood in his doorway. Matt was trying to get through the last of this litigation before the end of the week and Foggy was not making this easier.

“This might be the opportunity that you meet someone who is actually normal! Not some psycho chick that almost got your ass expelled back in law school. That’s how long it’s been, Matt! Do you know how long ago law school was?” Matt lets out a small laugh at Foggy.

“Yes, Foggy. I was there, I know how long ago it was.”

He never understood why Foggy was so adamant on him meeting someone. Now that the firm is getting some business and he’s gone out more times than he can count as Daredevil, he just doesn’t have the time to commit.

“I’ll go only for an hour,” Matt sighs and Foggy lets out a cheer.

“You’re not gonna regret this, Murdock!”

————————————————————————

Saturday night rolls around. You and Jill are about to head to the singles event.

“I hope I meet someone rich,” Jill says, applying her lipstick. “I just don’t want to work again, y’know?”

“Tell me about it. I just hope nobody is too much of an asshole. I don’t know if I can take another person mansplaining what investing is and why I should do it,” You shouted from the bathroom, spraying some hairspray in your hair. You came out of the bathroom wearing jeans and a plain black t-shirt.

“Whoa girl, what are you wearing? You can’t wear that!” Jill said from your living room.

You eye yourself in the mirror, “what is so wrong with jeans and a t-shirt?”

Jill says your name sternly, “everything? You might meet the love of your life! Show some more!”

“You’re ridiculous. You’re lucky I’m going to this in the first place! Would it make you happier if I changed my top?” You say, taking off your shirt to dig for something she deems more appropriate.

“Atta girl, show the goodies,” Jill says, shimmying her chest. “Uber is downstairs, let’s get going.”

——————————————————————————

You arrive at the venue and make your way upstairs to the roof. It was decorated with greenery and twinkle lights. The place was lit just enough to make it romantic but not where you couldn’t see anyone. Not even 15 minutes into the event, you lose Jill in the crowd already talking to people. You make your way to the bar to order yourself a drink.

“Dirty martini, gin, please. Thanks,” you stand at the bar while you wait for your drink and hear a smooth voice next to you.

“Whiskey, neat, please. Thank you,” you peer over and your eyes meet a beautiful man wearing red glasses. You take a moment to read him a little bit. Gorgeous side profile. Your eyes make their way down to his hands, and meet with a cane. Blind?

“Dirty martini & a whiskey neat.”

“Thank you,” you both say in unison. “I suppose we should cheers?” The man says to you.

“Oh, uh sure, cheers,” You clink your glass against his and a smile breaks out on his face as the glass meets his lips. God damn, this guy looks like the next coming of Christ. He was so unreal looking. He had the jaw sculpted by God himself, decorated with just the right amount of stubble, and his lips. They were so pink and full. The thoughts of kissing him already danced in your head. The faint smell of his cologne twirled around in your nostrils.

“So let me guess,” you take a sip from your drink, “your friend basically dragged you here too against your will even though you told them you were over dating?”

“Wow,” his eyebrows perked up as he took another sip, “how did you guess?” he says, sarcastically.

“Well, considering you look like that,” your hand vaguely gestured to his body, “and women aren’t at your beck and call, I had to assume.”

“Look like what? Oh God, did I forget to put on my pants? You’d tell me that I’m pant less right?” He says frantically, trying to hide his laughter.

“Ha ha, very funny. But was I right?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“You’re not too far off. It’s hard to do modern dating when everything is on dating apps and eyesight helps that. Phones can only be so accessible. I’m Matt by the way, Matt Murdock.” He sticks his hand out for you to grab. You give him your name as you shake his hand. You notice some bruising on the knuckles and wonder what that could be about.

“Wait like, the lawyer?”

Matt sheepishly nodded in agreement, “that would be me.”

“Where were you when I told a cop to fuck off because I didn’t like how he was speaking to my friend?” You take a big swig of your martini hoping the alcohol would hit you sooner rather than later.

“My law partner must’ve missed the call from the woman brave enough to tell a cop to fuck off,” Matt smirks at you. Butterflies erupt inside you and your heart beat jumps.

————————————————————————

As the night goes on, and after a couple more drinks, conversation between you and Matt flows effortlessly. You two made your way over to a couch to sit and talk. The crowd ebbed and flowed throughout the night. People left, more people showed up, but it never got too crowded. It honestly felt like you and Matt were alone, like the world stood still.

“So you mean to tell me he took your furniture outside?” You laugh at the thought of his college roommate moving all of Matt’s furniture outside.

“Yeah, it was kind of rude of him to do that to a blind guy. He thought it was hilarious though,” Matt smiles at you.

“You guys seemed wild in law school. I bet campus police weren't too thrilled with your shenanigans,” you rest your chin on your hand as you lean a bit closer to Matt.

“Foggy actually got into some trouble with them because he was breaking the school's disability rules. Nothing too major, he just had to volunteer as a part of campus police to pay his dues.”

You laugh at Matt, and briefly look around and notice you and Matt seemed to be two of the other five couples that are still there.

“So, I have a question for you…” you trail off, debating on asking this question.

“No, I haven’t been blind my whole life,” Matt states.

“How did you know I was going to ask that?” your voice has an edge of surprise to it.

“It came in the pamphlet when I lost my vision. Don’t worry about it though, it doesn’t bother me when people ask,” Matt reassures you. “It’s been 20 years at this point.”

“Oh wow, so you had to adapt and relearn the world without your eyes. That’s insane, it must have been tough for you,” you rest your hand on Matt’s bicep. What business does he have to have this much of a defined arm?

“It took some adjusting but my other senses were…” Matt stops mid sentence before realizing what he was about to say.

“What? Like sensitive? I’m sure your other senses had to compensate now that your eyes were out of commission.”

“Yeah, you can say sensitive in a way,” Matt sighs. Silence falls between you both. You fiddle with your glass for a moment until he speaks up, “what do you say we get out of here?”

“Oh, um,” you look around in hopes of finding your friend because you’re still nervous about potentially going home with somebody new. No matter how gorgeous the man is. “I–“ you stammer.

“I don’t want to give the wrong intentions. What I mean is maybe go to another bar. There’s a place two blocks over that we can go to. If you’re up for it,” Matt gave you a small smile of reassurance.

You think for a moment, staring at his face while your heart feels like it’s going to leap out of your body. What the hell, why not? “Sure, I’d like that,” you smile and get up. You let Matt grab onto your forearm for guidance as you walk to the bar to close out. After he graciously also paid for your tab, you walked with him to the elevator.

“What’s this place called? How do I know you’re not going to murder me? You are still a stranger by the way,” you ramble on. Matt laughs at your nervousness.

“It’s called Josie’s. I’ve been going here since I was in law school. And if I were going to murder you, I would have done it already,” Matt leans into you playfully.

“Ah yeah that makes me feel so much better, thank you, Matt,” you joke.

—————————————————————————

The walk to Josie’s is mostly silent, but not awkward. You feel at ease around Matt. His energy is soothing, it feels like you’ve known him for ages. He asked about your upbringing, what brought you to New York. Your typical “getting to know someone” questions.

As you approach the bar, your nerves dissipate as you recognize this is a dive bar. “You seem less tense,” Matt said to you, his hand lightly placed on the pulse point of your wrist.

“Yeah, I love a good dive bar. It’s charming in a way,” you breathe out, leading the way into the bar. You find a seat at the bar for you and Matt to sit. You look around the bar, and notice the pool table in the back. There were old beer signs all over the walls. The lighting was dim and moody. Classic rock was playing over the speakers. Matt must’ve waved down a bartender while you were distracted because two beers are placed in front of you as you sat down next to him.

“I love how you assumed I liked beer,” you tease, taking a sip from your bottle.

“I can order something else if you’d like me to,” Matt's voice breaks a bit.

“I like beer, don’t worry,” you reassured him, “so what are the odds a blind man knows how to play pool?”

“I’ve played. I can’t promise I’ll be any good.”

Your drinks start to hit you more as you speak, “Do you want to make a bet?”

“Betting against a blind man? Low blow,” Matt sucks his teeth teasing you a bit. You giggle, “Fair point, Matthew. Fair point. C’mon, do you need guidance to the table?”

“No thank you, I know this place like it’s my own home,” Matt smiled at you as you both made your way over to the pool table.

You rack up the balls and Matt grabs some cues. “Do you want to break the triangle?” Matt asks.

“Sure, why not,” You bend over, lining up the cue ball with the tip of the triangle. Your heartbeat quickens as you feel Matt’s gaze upon you. You know, for someone who is blind, you sure can feel like his eyes were all over your body. The loud crack of the ball break snaps you out of your train of thought. “Do you, um, do you need help lining up the cue?”

“Actually yes, that’d be helpful.”

You make your way to Matt’s side, telling him solids were his and what balls were lined up with which ones. To your shock, he nails two solids into the sink holes. “I’ll be damned. Blind man is good at pool.”

Matt’s voice is low and husky when he says, “there’s a lot of secrets about me,” which gives you full body chills.

“Well, okay then, I—” you stammer trying to collect your tipsy self. You take your shot and, “God damn it, missed. You’re not hustling me, are you? You said you weren’t good!” you protest.

“Ehh, lucky shot, I guess,” Matt laughs, taking a swig of his beer.

The round of pool goes at a good pace, flirty innuendos fly off the walls. At this point, Matt’s jacket is off and the sleeves of his dress shirt are rolled up showing his forearms. Every passing hour, you feel more and more attracted to him. And you only hope he feels the same.

“Alright, 8 ball is up. Absolutely no fucking way I’m about to lose a game of pool to a guy who can’t see,” you said competitively.

“Well to be fair, you have been helping me line the cues up, you could’ve hustled me and lined up with your balls.” He suggests with a shrug.

“God damn it, you’re so right. Holy shit why didn’t I think of that?!” You line the cue up to the ball and take your shot...and miss. You let out a gasp as you just lost this game of pool.

“That didn’t sound like a good gasp,” Matt teased.

“You’d be correct. Good game, Matt.”

“Good game,” he said your name back to you.

You looked at your watch and realized it was almost midnight. “It’s getting late, I think we should head out. That sound okay to you?” you say, even though you secretly don’t want this night to end.

“Yeah, do you want me to walk you home?” Matt asks you, with a shy smile secretly hoping you’d say yes.

“That’d be really lovely, thank you. I’m just 5 blocks up actually.”

————————————————————————

“Alright, this is me,” you halt in front of your building’s entrance.

“Are you sure it’s not up one more block?” He flashes you a cheeky smile.

“Unfortunately, it is not. I had a really good time tonight, Matt,” you step closer to him, inches away from his body.

“I had a really nice time tonight, too,” Matt’s voice just above a whisper. God, that register in his voice practically made you fall to your knees.

You and Matt are still standing dangerously close to each other as both of your body’s heats mingled together, practically begging for some physical touch. “I should, uh, get upstairs. Goodnight, Matt.” As you are about to turn away, Matt pulls you in closer as your chests nearly touch. Lips hovering over one another as your breath intertwines with his. Your brain is barely forming coherent thoughts, until you whisper, “I think this is the part where you kiss me.”

“I was waiting for the words,” Matt’s hand snakes up to gently rest on your jawbone as he tilts your head up. His lips meet yours with the tenderness and sweetness that you crave so desperately. He pulls away and you both sigh. “That was—”

“Really nice. You’re an excellent kisser by the way,” you let your inside thoughts exist on the outside now. “That was meant to stay inside my brain, oh my god….” You buried your face in your hands as you pulled away from his embrace.

Matt laughs, “I appreciate the compliment, thank you.”

“Let’s do this again, next week? You owe me a rematch in pool.”

“Next week sounds fantastic. If the pool game went anything like it did tonight, it won’t be much of a rematch,” Matt banters with you. You gasp at his remark which makes him laugh. “I’ll call you sometime this week to set something up, okay?”

“Do you mind if I put my number in your phone? I figure that’d be easiest maybe,” You suggest.

“Oh yeah, that’d be great,” Matt said pulling out his phone. You grabbed it and put your name and number in there and handed it back to him.

“Okay,” you smile at him, “I’ll be anticipating your call.”

“Goodnight,” Matt whispers your name, dripping from his lips like honey. You kiss his cheek and head upstairs. As you close the door, you squeal in excitement.

Matt stood outside your building for a moment, listening to it shut to ensure you made it in okay. As he was about to step away, he heard you squeal to yourself in excitement, which made him laugh to himself.

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Mise en Place, Chapter 1

Pairing: Chef!Matt Murdock x F!Journalist!Reader

Rating: M

Story Summary: Follows the development of Chef!Matt & Reader's relationship after the events of Cooking Up Love.

Warnings/Tags: Hallmark levels of fluffy, cheesy goodness, no use of Y/N, Matt is not a vigilante, developing relationship, things gonna get SPICY later 🔥 (aka smut in future chapters)

Word Count: ~2250

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read, liked, reblogged, and/or commented on Cooking Up Love, and I hope y'all enjoy this continuation just as much!

If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this, please don't hesitate to ask!

Divider by the lovely @theradioactivespidergwen!

Tag List: @danzer8705

“...So then I said that I wasn't sure if I could wait until tonight to kiss her,” Matthew Murdock said over the phone to his best friend/business partner, Foggy Nelson, as he whisked together the ingredients for the chocolate mousse that he was making. “And she said she couldn't wait either, so I made my move.”

Matt had met you two weeks prior after Foggy had set him up for an exclusive interview with the New York Bulletin ’s food writer in an attempt to help their newly opened -- but already struggling -- restaurant garner some publicity.

Matt had had trust issues with reporters -- especially food-related reporters -- ever since his ex-girlfriend, Elektra, had written a completely false exposé about him in an attempt to further her career as a food critic and had admittedly been less than cooperative during your initial meeting. It wasn't until after he had refused to do the interview, told you off for being unprepared, and stormed back into his and Foggy's shared office that he learned that you weren't even the food writer, but rather the Features reporter, who had been given the assignment last-minute and hadn't actually had time to prepare beyond reading Matt's bio on the Daredevil website.

Matt had made a pan of tiramisu as an apology for his unprofessionalism then had gone to the Bulletin and asked you to reschedule, and luckily for him you had agreed. 

As he began to get to know you he had very quickly felt what he thought was mutual attraction, but had second-guessed himself after Foggy had accidentally interrupted Matt's attempt to kiss you during a blind tasting at the restaurant.

Matt had felt like he might have misread your attraction to him based on your reaction so he had gone by the Bulletin again the following day to apologize, but unfortunately not only had you not been in, but the actual (now former) food writer had filled Matt's head with doubt by telling him that your real interest was in investigative journalism and that you would stop at nothing for a good scoop -- even stooping so low as to make up details for a story if the real story wasn't juicy enough.

Needless to say, Matt had been hurt and angry after you had (mistakenly) sent him a copy of “your” article about him (which actually turned out to be a fake one full of lies and misinformation that the food writer had written and planted on your computer in an attempt to sabotage you) and accused you of using him to further your own career as a journalist before barring you from Daredevil and hanging up without letting you try to explain. Thankfully you had caught the sabotage fairly quickly and had sent Matt your real article before publication, although in his hurt he hadn’t opened your email explaining the situation until after your editor had apologized for the mix-up and sent him the correct article as well.

Matt had made another ‘apology tiramisu’ and had gone by the Bulletin that morning to apologize for being an asshole yet again only to find out from Skyler, your closest friend at the Bulletin, that you had taken a personal day after everything that had happened over the past few days. Luckily for him, however, Skyler had taken pity on him and had given him your home address so he could apologize and explain himself to you in person.

Matt had hurried over to your apartment, where he had apologized and the two of you had confirmed your mutual interest in each other before Matt had asked you over to his apartment for a date and kissed you for the first (but he definitely hoped not the last) time.

Foggy chuckled. “I take it there were no interruptions this time?”

Matt grinned to himself at the memory of your soft lips pressed against his, the way you had felt in his arms as you had melted into him, and the happy little sigh you had let out as the two of you had parted. “No, no interruptions.”

“That's great, man. I'm really happy for you.”

“Thanks, Fog.” Matt covered the chocolate mixture and set it in the fridge to cool and set.

“I guess that means that I'm forgiven for setting up that interview with the Bulletin then?” 

Matt chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, you're forgiven.”

“So what else is on the menu for tonight?” 

“Chicken parmesan with caesar salad and freshly baked garlic bread -- that is, if I have time to get everything done on top of running back to the market. I just realized that I don't have any wine here that'll pair well with dessert and it's too late to try to do a grocery delivery.”

“Want some help? I can stop by the market for you on my way there.”

Matt huffed out a breath. “Actually yeah, that'd be great if you don't mind.”

“Not at all, buddy. What do you need?”

Matt thought for a moment. “Let's see, since I used dark chocolate in the mousse and cut down on the sugar a bit, maybe a bottle of Moscato d’Asti and a bottle of Chocovine? Oh, and some decaf coffee too. I'm thinking about making some chai as a non-alcoholic alternative to go with dessert but I also want to have a decaf option just in case.”

He could hear Foggy writing everything down. “Okay, so Moscato d’Asti, Chocovine, and that canned coffee with chicory that you like, but in decaf. Got it.”

Matt chuckled. “I really appreciate it, Foggy.”

“It's no problem, dude. See you soon.”

“Okay, thanks. Bye.”

Matt tapped at his screen to hang up then began to gather his bread ingredients.

He had just gotten the dough mixed together and was in the process of kneading it when Foggy knocked on his door. “It's open!”

“I come bearing wine,” Foggy said as he entered. “And fancy decaf coffee.”

Matt chuckled. “Thanks, Fog. You're a lifesaver.”

“Wine in the fridge, right?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

He heard Foggy put the bottles in the door of his refrigerator and the can of coffee by the coffee maker before moving to Matt's sink to wash his hands. “Okay, put me to work.”

Matt pointed towards his stove. “Could you get the sauce going?”

“Yeah, sure, man.”

Matt finished kneading the dough then put it back into the bowl to rest as Foggy began scoring tomatoes for the marinara sauce.

Together they managed to get everything prepped and Matt's kitchen cleaned with about an hour to spare, which gave Matt just enough time to shower and get dressed before he needed to finish everything off.

“Okay, I think you're all set for tonight,” Foggy said as Matt slid the bread into the oven to bake. “How are you feeling?”

“Kinda nervous,” Matt admitted, turning back to his stove to stir the marinara sauce he had simmering. “What if she changes her mind about me and decides that I really am an asshole and that she doesn't want to forgive me after all?”

“Oh, I highly doubt it, buddy,” Foggy said with a chuckle. “I have it on good authority that she's actually more nervous about you changing your mind about her .”

Matt's heart fluttered. “Really?”

Foggy hummed in the affirmative. “That's what Skyler said when I talked to her earlier."

Matt shook his head. “No chance of that happening.”

Foggy patted Matt on the shoulder. “I'm gonna head out so you can go shower and finish getting ready, but I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Thanks again for helping.”

“Any time, dude.”

Matt locked his door behind Foggy then went to go take a shower.

As he stepped under the hot spray, his mind drifted to you once again. You were beautiful, and honest, and kind, and caring, and Matt felt so, SO lucky to have met you.

He hurried through his shower, dried his hair, shaved, then got dressed before heading back to his kitchen to cook the pasta and finish off the chicken for the parmesan. Perfect. Everything should be done by the time she gets here.

He smiled to himself, determined to make that evening the best first date of both of your lives. 

“…So after Foggy told Matt about Kingpin getting shut down I explained that Kelsie had been dating the sous-chef over there and that's why she went after both of us personally,” you told your best friend/coworker, Skyler, as you rummaged through your closet.

Had someone told you two weeks ago that you would currently be getting ready for your first date with the very same chef you had been assigned to interview for your job as a reporter with the New York Bulletin , you would have laughed in their face, especially after your epic failure of a first meeting. But yet here you were, trying to find something to wear.

You pulled out an emerald green lace dress, then held it up to your front and briefly studied yourself in the mirror before shaking your head and putting it back in your closet. “But then Matt said that his interest had been genuine and that he wanted to keep getting to know me, so he asked me to have dinner with him at his apartment tonight.”

“Which is why you're going through everything you own in order to find the perfect outfit to wear,” Skyler said from where she sat on your bed.

You had called her after Matt had left your apartment and let her know that not only had you and Matt worked things out, but that he had also asked you on a date, then you had asked her to come by after work to help you decide what to wear, promising to give her all the details of your and Matt's earlier conversation.

You pulled out a simple mid-length black silk dress before turning towards Skyler. “Oh, and did you know Matt went by the Bulletin on Tuesday?”

Skyler’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “What? No. When did he stop by?”

You shrugged. “I'm not sure, but he said he must've talked to Kelsie because she told him that I only cared about making a name for myself as an investigative journalist and wasn't beyond falsifying information to further my career.”

Skyler scowled. “Yeah, that definitely sounds like her. So then what happened?”

“He apologized again for assuming the worst about me, then I made a joke about how he can't just make apology tiramisu for me every time he screws up, to which he joked back about just making my other favorite dishes of his instead, so I went to like, playfully swat at him, you know? But then he caught my wrist and pulled me to him.”

You smiled to yourself at the memory before continuing. “And then he said he didn't know if he could wait until tonight to kiss me for the first time, and I said that I didn't think that I could wait either, so then…” You smiled. “He kissed me.”

Skyler made a happy squeeing noise. “So… how was it?”

You sighed wistfully. “Honestly? It was the best first kiss of my life.”

You turned towards your mirror and held the dress up, briefly studying yourself before turning back towards Skyler. “What do you think?”

Skyler nodded. “That’s perfect. Can't go wrong with a LBD, especially for a super romantic first date with an incredibly hot chef who I told you was into you.”

She stood and went to your jewelry box. “Now, let's find the perfect accessories to glam up that dress.”

She pulled out a teardrop necklace with a red stone. “How about this?”

You took it and put it on, then held the dress up to yourself again as you looked in the mirror. “Yeah, that looks good.”

“Perfect.” Skyler looked at her smartwatch. “I should get going so you can finish getting ready. You don't want to be late.”

You gave Skyler a brief hug. “You're the best friend I could ever ask for, you know that?”

Skyler gave you a squeeze back. “Yeah, yeah. Just remember that when it's time to choose your maid of honor for your and Chef Hottie's wedding.”

You huffed out a laugh. “Bit soon for wedding planning, isn't it?”

Skyler shrugged with a small smirk. “Just putting it out there for when the time comes.”

You shook your head with a smile. “If and when the time comes, you know there's no one else I'd rather have by my side.”

“Tell me all about your date tomorrow?”

“Of course. Plus you still need to finish telling me how your coffee date with Foggy went on Saturday.”

Skyler grinned. “Deal. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“‘Kay. See you tomorrow.”

You let Skyler out then returned to your room, slipping into your dress before applying some light makeup and putting your shoes on.

You smiled to yourself as your mind drifted back to the way Matt had felt as he had held you in his arms, the taste of his lips as he had pressed them to your own, and the beautiful smile on his face as he had caressed your cheek with his thumb after you had parted. Hopefully we'll get to do some more of that tonight.

You grabbed your phone and purse and headed downstairs to catch a cab, hoping that your first date with Matt would be a success.

[theoryandahalf]

I just realized I have literally no time & skill to write the Fnaf au/joking because it'd take forever

seriously though, why does everyone want to give students homework. I go to school , that should be enough :/

In a question I swear is relevant , team theorists as types teachers

MatPat would probably be English - don't ask my why he just gives english teacher vibes

I'm pretty sure there are studies that show too much homework is ineffective but don't quote me on it. Hang in there pal, fanfic can wait for the weekend.

I kinda agree Matt gives off Dead Poets Society vibes but I think he's said on record he hated English classes (was I the only one shocked that MatPat doesn't read?!). If he's teaching high school, yeah he's the AP Lit professor. If he's teaching college, he's the really young, oversharing Psych101 professor who's really cool but you also know too much about his wife, kid and cat, and his weekend hobbies. He's overcommitted on five hundred faculty committees and faculty Senate. He's won Teacher/Professor of the Year five times and he's not even 40 yet. In his spare time he consults for Google.

My other guesses:

Stephanie: Chemistry Professor or high school Chem teacher. God help you poor kids in her class, she's the strictest grader and the only time she unwinds is when Mr. Patrick sneaks into her classroom in between break periods. You know nothing about her personal life. Is she married to Mr. Patrick/Dr Patrick, or are they just friends?! Unless you have Mr Patrick and he overshares about her, you won't know, and you never will.

Lee: Bad ass History teacher all the way, in university and high school. He's also the advisor for the academic decathlon team. He's the chillest teacher ever and he'll let you sleep in his class. Just don't disrespect Tolkien in his presence.

Amy: Art teacher in high school, teaches fashion and design at the college level. She gives off 'mean teacher' vibes because most people only see her interact with Mr. Massa and Mr. Robinson and she often rips them a new one for being too loud and obnoxious. But she's actually fantastic to have in class and you learn a lot from her.

You also work your butt off. Don't take her as an elective.

Tom: ...I have no idea. I guess choir director? Tom is dyslexic and ADHD so teaching would be a hard profession for him. I can see him doing choir/show choir at the high school level though. He seems to give really good advice on his streams so maybe he's a school guidance counselor or adviser.

Santi: Physical education or kinesiology professor. He beefs with Mr. Robinson all the time because he keeps stealing his best football players for his stupid little drama club. Clearly PE is superior because there's more sports scholarships than there are art, so Tom is really just bringing down the entire school. Mr. Massa is also a very chill teacher, he'll let you skip class so long as Mr. Patrick doesn't notice you're not at the all school assembly (because he will notice).

Ash: The overburdened AV instructor/school librarian/media specialist in the Theorist high school. For college, they are the media librarian that just wants you to return the dvd copy of Return of the King, LEE. Ash never has enough money or time in any incarnation but they are the most cheerful and bad ass LGBTQ+ student club advisor you've ever had. Lies to homophobic parents and says they're just a gaming club because you do usually end up discussing FNAF lore for hours until Ms. Cordato knocks on the door to politely kick you all out because its 5pm.

BONUS

Head Editor Dan: Animation professor or creative writing teacher at Theorist High. Also does freshmen homeroom so he's constantly in pain and in need of coffee. Gives off 'don't mess with me' vibes but is a real sweetheart if you get to know him. But what you don't know is that he's pitching five different tv pilots and one of these days he will just randomly disappear because his show was bought by ABC. Ten years from now you'll see his name in the credits of your favorite show as the Executive Producer.

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 4371 (chapter 36)

Summary:

You and Matt met in the courtroom. Now, you may think that Matt was a knight in shining armour and defended you in the name of all United States laws, but that was not the case. Matt was totally destroying your client, and you wanted to tear him into pieces right then and right there, because with Murdock as your rival, your head is on the firm's plate with each case. Did Matt care? No, he only cared about bringing justice, he was a human-machine, driven by the need to bring righteousness no matter the cost. Or was he just that? What happens when you get involved in Fisk's business and Daredevil's lies against your will?

WE ARE COOKING YA'LL

36. Interlude

"This doesn't change anything, Ben."

"Except now we know who your king of diamonds is." Foggy adds to Karen's words and looks at Ben, standing in the the middle of the office.

"You see the news? Everything's changed. Fisk has gotten out in front of being dragged into the spotlight. My editor thinks he's the Second Coming. Hell, the whole city does." Ben pulls out a fresh newspaper, Fisk proudly occupying the whole front page.

"So, we just... We keep digging."

"I've been doing that. Internet went from nothing on Fisk to filled with three-hanky stories about a poor little fat kid from Hell's Kitchen. Abandoned by his father when he was 12. Mother died a year later. Now look at him. Boot straps and a big dream." Ben exhales loudly, rubbing his forehead.

"Somebody knows something. It's just a matter of asking the right people the right questions in the right tone of voice." Foggy says, sure of his words.

"Yeah, that's how you get yourself hurt." Ben raises his eyebrows theatrically.

"That's what I keep telling them." Matt silently slips inside the office upon Ben's last words. "Maybe they'll listen to you."

"Ben Urich, Matt Murdock. Attorney at Why the Hell Bother." Karen introduces the two of them with a hint of annoyance.

"Mr. Murdock." Ben shakes his hand.

"Matt." Matt corrects Ben, hearing your slow steps outside in the corridor.

You return to the office, moments later, noticing a new face in the middle of the room. Extending your arm, you intently look at his face, "I know you from somewhere."

"Ben Urich, New York Bulletin." He takes your hand, eyes shining in a weird way, as if he knew more about you than you did. Taking in your rather disheveled appearance. 

"Y/n." You let go of his hand first, "You were that journalist in courtroom when I had my case televised."

"Yes, and I gotta say, it was a pretty damn good case." He cracks a smile, yet you don't show any signs of appreciation.

"You also wrote about the attack on me at Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz. Could've tried to write at least a believable amout of lies." You say, watching his reaction.

His smile doesn't fall, on the contrary, it only gets bigger, "Well, in my line of work, that's a compliment.

Foggy shakes his head at the interaction and brings back the previous topic, "My partner thinks we should be pursuing this through the legal system."

"A lot safer that way." Ben agrees.

"Well, why don't we all just crawl under the covers, then?" Karen ignites again, and you close your eyes in hopes of keeping your mouth shut this time, already catching up with the talk.

"No, Karen-" Matt begins softly, only to be cut short by Karen.

"Well, I'm sorry, but if Fisk is really behind everything that has happened, then we need to do something."

"If we were the only ones after him, I'd tend to agree." Ben says mysteriously, "Friend of yours came to see me the other night the man in the mask."

"Terrorist cop-killer." Foggy repeats Fisk's previous words, and you can't help but agree with Fisk here. Your heart drops and face becomes even paler than it was since the day started.

"Says he was framed." Ben adds nonchalantly, turning around to catch everyone's expressions. Matt turns his back away from the group.

"I could say I'm Captain America, but it doesn't put wings on my head." Foggy rolls his eyes, only to be shut by Karen.

"What did he want?"

"Same thing we do... expose Fisk. I printed this from a thumb drive he gave me." Ben hands Karen a bunch of papers. She snatches them like a hawk and hurries to sit behind her desk. In the meantime, you lean on the nearby wall, feeling that the dizziness from lack of sleep and not eating normal food is finally catching up with you. 

"Oh, my God!" Karen exclaims and starts flipping through the pages. 

"Told me Fisk was behind the bombings and shooting those cops said he owns half the police that they helped him take down the Russians." Ben continues, looking around the room again, and takes a notice that you're not yourself today. He remembers vividly that day when he sat in the courtroom during your televised case - you were almost glowing and full of life. Now it seemed to him that you were either sick or angry or depressed.

"But I don't understand. If you have all of this, then..." Karen blabbers again, only this time Matt interrupts her. 

"Hearsay. Can't print any of it without corroboration, can you?"

"He could just be throwing smoke. I mean, he just killed Detective Blake." Foggy adds, much to Matt's displease.

"Said Blake's partner Hoffman did it, probably on Fisk's orders. But yeah, it occurred to me." Ben nods.

"You could talk to Hoffman." Matt pouts in thought, and you almost find it amusing in this kind of situation.

"Tried. He's in the wind. Or bottom of the river. Either way."Ben shrugs, now completely helpless. 

"He just shrugged." Foggy says to Matt.

"Wait, what about the Union Allied money? Is there a way that we can tie it directly to Fisk?" Karen rises from her chair. 

"Maybe. According to the Mask, a man named, uh, Leland Owlsley runs the books. But since getting roughed up by him, Owlsley's been surrounded by Fisk's security. Can't get anywhere near him." Ben shakes his head, "Same goes with, uh, James Wesley, the guy you said hired you to defend Healy." 

Upon the mention of Wesley, you feel two sets of eyes staring at you. "What?" You say defensively, "I'm not in contact with him anymore." Crossing your arms, you turn your eyes towards the window, avoiding making eye contact with anyone in the room. Ben raises an eyebrow at Karen, but she only grimaces slightly, not giving any answer to his wordless question. Matt senses something in your voice, perhaps an underlying lie that he can't put a finger on just yet.

"Look, the Mask came to Ben for help. And I don't care how rich Fisk is, nobody can totally erase their past. I mean, somewhere out there, there has to be a piece of paper, a witness... the truth."

"What about Confederated Global? The suit that hired us to defend Healy standing right next to Fisk when he gave his big speech." Foggy looks at you again, only to find you staring with a hard look on your face out the window. 

"I looked into that. According to FCC filings, Confed Global's where Fisk gets most of his reported income."

"All right, let's play this out. If Fisk is connected to Confed Global, that means he's involved in Westmeyer-Holt Contracting, which Westmeyer-Holt is strong-arming tenants out of their rent-controlled apartments." Matt gestures with his hands slightly, pulling back your attention. For whatever crazy reason, he felt sorry that you were put into this position by Wesley now. After your last burst of emotions, Karen felt distrustful towards you, but in Matt's mind that was understandable reaction.

"Um, they were hired by a guy named Armand Tully." Karen quickly adds.

"The slumlord?" Ben makes sure he heard it right.

"Landman and Zack say he's on vacation on an island that no one can pronounce, where they use coconuts as phones." Foggy shrugs, and you wonder if he's still in contact with Marci. Foggy catches your curious look and feels his cheeks burning.

"Another connection in the wind." Ben hangs his head low, earning an apologetic look from Karen.

"Westmeyer-Holt to Confed to Fisk. We pull that thread, see what it unravels." Matt begins circling around the room.

"Still not sure about this mask guy." Foggy says and you agree with him with a hum.

"He didn't hurt Ben and he didn't hurt me. I'll take the Devil of Hell's Kitchen over Fisk any day. Plus, he kicks ass." Karen says, eyes clashing with you. 

"Karen, you know, maybe refrain from these talks in a law office, or someone might think that you're ready to take his place in jail." You smile at her sourly. Karen bites her lip, clearly not satisfied with the way you put her in her place. "He's a vigilante after all." 

Ben nods to himself again. Your frustration was justifiable, he knew what it felt like to lose a well-paid job and start a new chapter of life. Maybe life wasn't treating you right now.

"Well, if he's such a badass, why did he come to Ben? Why not just take Fisk down himself?" Foggy silently agrees with you. 

"Maybe he knows there's some roads you can't come back from." Ben replies mysteriously.

*** 

You look around, noticing the interior of the church. Clinton Church. You've never been here before. Your parents were not too religious to regularly go to church, so it didn't pass on you either. God? You didn't believe in God, because in the end, you saved yourself, not God. He didn't save you, he didn't save anyone. God was just a mythical creation, made up so that in the worst moments, people wouldn't lose their hope. God didn't mean anything to you, because if he was real, if he was righteous, you wouldn't have to deal with all these injustices everyday. If he was real, the world would've been a better place. But it wasn't. Never going to be.

The lights were lit on only at the front, only near the altar, and you catch yourself looking at the cross and Jesus on it. Was he even real? Or was he only a copy of someone else's imagination? Every cross was different, unique, yet everyone imagined the same man crucified, same man hanging his head to the side, same man with a woven crown of thorns, sticking into his forehead like needles. If he was real, in your mind he was stupid. Sacrificing yourself for the sins of the people? They were not worth it, not then and surely not now. Maybe he was real. Maybe he was a saint, but he was also blind. Blind to notice that humanity wasn't ready to understand his sacrifice, blind to think that it still meant something thousands of years later. Blind like Lady Justice. 

Involuntary, you shiver. The air was rather cool inside the church and somehow, not even your coat was keeping you warm. Turning to your right, you glance at Foggy, eyes cast down into his lap, fingers nervously playing with the hem of his coat. Movement in the front catches your attention and you see Father Lantom emerge from the shadows. He looks at all four of you, eyes lingering on a new face here - you. Feeling uneasy under the intense gaze, you bow your head down, almost in shame. You've never liked priests in general, because they looked at you as if they knew who you were under that facade. Father Lantom notices the change in your face and clear his throat. 

You only hear half of the things that he's saying; distracted by the way sunlight falls though the multicoloured windows and Karen's silent sniffling, you felt like an intruder here. Father continued talking about God, the fragility of life and the values of believing. None of this made sense to you, so you distracted your thoughts from the reason that brought all four of you here. Wesley. That bastard really sugar-coated you before throwing you unprepared to the lions. And now he was proudly marching behind Fisk on live television? You felt sick again, the need to throw up returned, yet there was nothing in your stomach the whole day, and the acidic aftertaste returned. 

"Shall we go?" Foggy nudges your arm gently, and you look at him wide-eyed for a good second. 

"Yeah." You whisper, and get up, letting everyone pass through, side lining with Matt. Father Lantom walks behind the two of you, clearly in thought. Matt has mentioned a woman before, he spoke so fondly of her that Lantom was in no doubt that Matt fell in love. He now wondered if that woman was you, or Karen; but Karen's name has been said when Matt talked about the friendships that he made. So it left him with one answer - you.

"Excuse me, but I don't think I've seen you in church before." Father Lantom comes in between you and Matt, and gives a warm smile, almost making you grimace at his comment. You knew it bound to happen, these type of things were always inevitable.

"Um, yeah, no, I'm not really a churchgoer." You shrug slowly, turning your eyes away from his piercing blue ones. 

"Not religious or not enough time?" Father smiles again, so kindly, that you feel the urge to pour your heart out to him. 

There was that feeling again, feeling that he can read you like an open book. "A bit of both." You say at first, then feeling like it's not a good place for lying, add, "mostly the first one."

"Ah. Well, Matthew here has been caught up in his work, he never visits me these days."

"Father..." Matt begins, feeling exposed. Father knows about his little nightly rendezvous, so it shouldn't really surprise him that he doesn't go to church any more.

"Oh, really?" You ask, stealing a glance at Matt, then crack a small smile, "blame me for this one Father, since he employed me, we've been very busy with work. And... I'm not a particularly good influence on him." 

Matt feels his cheeks heating up.

"Really? Well, Matthew, I'll take it to consideration for your next confession. Whenever that may be."

"Yeah." Matt mutters, thankful to finally go out into the fresh air. 

Nearing the small graveyard that was close to the church, you notice the casket next to the grave. Shivers run down your spine, head full of unpleasant memories and images, but you try to calm yourself, blaming it on the wind. All four of you stand at the end of the grave, watching the graveyard worker lower the casket into the ground slowly, accompanied by the final words that Father is saying to Mrs Cardenas, and almost instinctively, your hand finds Matt's by his side, slipping your fingers between his cold ones. The emotions run wild through your head, your blood, but you only close your eyes, focusing on the warmth that you felt when Matt squeezes your hand back. Opening your eyes, you turn to your right briefly, noticing a single tear rolling down Matt's cheek - so different from the sobbing beside you from Foggy and Karen. You glance at your hands tightly pressed together, so almost perfectly fitting, and only now realize just how close he was standing from the beginning. 

Father closes the Bible, and a quick glance at Matt and you, answers his questions. The way you looked at him told a million things, but most importantly, it told Father that Matt's feeling were not one-sided. 

*** 

"I've been such an asshole to her the first time we met." You scoff, hiding your face behind an almost empty whiskey glass. Foggy and Karen share a look, one that you wouldn't be able to decipher, even if you noticed it in the first place. "I guess they really turn you into a robot in HCB."

"Well, I know for a fact that people turn worse in Landman and Zack." Matt replies, drinking as well. If tonight was about drowning sorrows, he was making sure he fulfilled that.

Karen turns her face towards the TV and her eyes widen immediately. Foggy nudges your elbow, making you turn to look at the screen, and the need to throw up returns again. "Hey, Josie, could you turn that up?"

"No, I never had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Cardenas. I only recently took possession of her building." Fisk blabbers on the screen again, and you notice Wesley standing behind him. How the hell did the press find out about Elena so quickly?

"How do you respond to reports that you knew the tenement was unsafe?" A reporter asks, but Fisk doesn't move a single muscle in protest.

"That is accurate." He replies, taking a pause after the sentence. "That's why we offered a substantial sum to Ms. Cardenas and her neighbours. To help them relocate." He looks around at all the press, Wesley scanning the crowd like a hawk. "We should never let good people get swallowed up by this city. I mourn this woman's death."

You loudly scoff to yourself, and the whole table of Nelson and Murdock find themselves internally agreeing with you. 

"Didn't have to happen. It should've..." Fisk's words get interrupted by Foggy's ringing phone. "Her passing is a symptom of a larger disease..." Foggy fishes his phone and leaves the table. "- infecting all of us. Disease of fear..." The TV glitches for a couple of times, only pieces of sentence are heard. "...fear of bombings, fear of cop killings. Fear of a masked psychopath." 

Matt feels his blood boiling in his alcohol-filled veins.

"We shouldn't let people like that take our city from us. We need to stand together. Let them know that they will fail... because we believe we can make a difference." Fisk's words make you wonder if he has learned the speech beforehand and if Wesley wrote it. After all, he was doing all the butt-kissing. " 'Cause they are cowards! Afraid of stepping out of the shadows. Afraid of standing up for people like Mrs. Cardenas."

"Mr. Fisk, how does this affect the upcoming benefit?" Someone behind the camera shouts.

Wesley steps up into the spotlight, "That will be all. Thank you." Hearing his voice again after days of radio silence caused your anger to spike up.  "No more questions."

"What can we do about this psycho..." another man begins, only to be cut short by a commercial break.

"Jesus, he almost sounds like he means it." Karen is the first one to break the silence.

"I think he does." Matt answers shortly.

Karen scoffs, "And he's calling the man in the mask a psycho?" With this one, you agreed. The man in the mask was a psycho to you, and Karen's enthusiasm to constantly talk about how great he is, sometimes made you think that she was madly in love with the vigilante. "I hope they trace what happened to Elena right to his doorstep."

"He'd never expose himself like that. Plus, half the force is probably in his pocket. Well, then, let's pray the Mask gets his hands on him. Knocks his goddamn head off."

"You religious, Karen?" Matt suddenly asks, but the topic doesn't pick up your attention.  

"My parents were. That's probably why I'm not. You?" 

"Catholic." Matt answers shortly. You receive a fresh whiskey glass and down it in one go, relaxing your muscles when it burns your throat. 

"Does it help? With things like this?" 

"Not today." Matt moves his lips slighly, which looks like a half of a grin. "I think I've had enough. Tell Foggy I'll see him in the morning." You pick up Matt's last words and turn to look at him already getting up to leave.

"Wait, I'm going too." You gently stop him by grabbing his wrist and his whole body goes stiff.

"Hey, Matt. If there is a God and if he cares at all about about any of us Fisk will get what he deserves." Karen says to Matt while you pull out a 100 dollar bill and give it to Josie. "You have to believe that."

"I do." He replies, still lingering next to the table while you put on your coat. 

"Tell Foggy..." you begin, sliding your hand on Matt's elbow a little too comfortably for Karen's liking, but she just puts you down for being drunk, "tell him nothing, I'm an independent woman. Lights out!" You say and quickly disappear in the street. 

Matt says nothing. His mind was occupied by other things, until you decided to grab a taxi together, but eventually agreed to swing by his place. Why? Because Matt insisted on ordering a takeout, adding "I don't think you ate proper food today at all" in a fatherly tone.

*** 

Foggy's new case was interesting for about 30 minutes, while you two shared a huge pizza. The whole time you avoided acknowledging the obvious, not talking about Elena or Fisk at all costs. Before Matt introduced beer to the conversation, which got you quite tipsy and relaxed; if you're not counting the alcohol consumed at Josie's.  At first it was light talk, jokes, giggling and laughing, trying to lighten up the sour mood, until you felt your stomach hurt, but then, as usual, the conversation turned to more serious topics.

Matt spins the bootle in his hand lazily, legs stretched out on the coffee table, as the laughter dies, his face becomes serious, maybe even curious and you wait for his question. "So, what was that thing with you and Karen?"

"What thing?"

"The thing... You know... Shouting one."

"Oh, that." You take a long sip of the beer, trying to delay answering for as long as possible. "I just don't like others in my business, that's all."

"Why's that?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Well it's quite a long story... But in short, some guy almost fucked up mine and Pug's internship."

"Don't leave me hanging now." He shoots a shy grin.

"Well, we got lucky with that internship, very lucky actually." You sigh, stretching your legs on Matt's coffee table as well. "And Dave was there too."

"Oof, I hate Dave already." Matt huffs a laugh, "wait, who's Pug?"

"My college best friend. So, anyway, we basically won the lottery with our internship at Latham & Wakins, this is still one of the best law firms in LA, and only very few students get to intern there. Of course, our professor wanted to send as many students as he possibly could to the firm, mainly caring about his own reputation as the best prof in the whole university, but I know that he also wanted us to succeed. So Pug and I, we get internships, we're over the moon, we go out, drink like there's no tomorrow, and then we bump into one guy from our classes." You clear your throat, taking a sip again.

"Dave, right?" Matt asks, with slow movements loosening his tie. 

"Yeah. So he's a total shit-talker, we're absolutely wasted, and somehow he talks us into getting him into Latham & Wakins. Next day, we go to the offices, they walk us around, introduce us to the bosses and blah blah, and this fucker, he befriends our boss. Not only befriends, he sleeps with her." You raise your eyebrows for a dramatic effect.

"No way." Matt lets out a laugh, going to bring more beer, still paying attention to your talk.

"Guess what happened then. He takes all of our cases. Our prof starts getting angry, he calls the firm's boss, I remember this, we were smoking outside his office when he made the call. So, he calls her, he's like 'my two brightest students are interning at your firm, and three weeks later you still haven't given them a case?'. I have no idea what's happening on the other side of the phone, but our prof is just pissed, he smokes two cigarettes during the whole phone call time, and let me tell you, the guy hasn't smoked in 20 years. He says that he fixed it and we can return to Latham & Wakins. We go there the same day, and we still don't get a fucking case. At this point, I'm fuming, I barge right into our boss's office, and there was Dave. Fucking her on her desk."

"No-" Matt gasps, handing you a new bottle and sitting a bit closer on the sofa than before. 

"I wanted to forget that image for years, and I still can't." You shiver dramatically. "They catch me and Pug in the parking lot, beg us to not expose them and promise that we will get all the best new cases. Of course, we agree, holding it against them that we can and will expose their little affair if it's necessary, because she was a married woman. All's good, we get full marks for our internship, we get paid more than we could've imagined, but just as we step out with our internship documents, we call our prof, and expose that bitch."

"She got fired?"

"Not only that, she's suspended from practising law for five years, and Dave was kicked out of university as soon as he returned." 

"That's one hell of a ride." Matt laughs. "Now it kind of makes sense."

"Pug's the only person I trust with my work, he doesn't seek glory at the cost of others."

"What about me?" Matt's lips perk up into a smirk.

"You don't seem like the Dave-type." You smile warmly, noticing the distance between the two of you. "Although, I don't know you long enough to check that out."

"Not long enough? It feels like ages since I beat you in court." 

"Yeah, and now I work for you." You laugh, earning another smile from Matt. 

Matt suddenly changes the topic, "You know what Elena told me one time when you stepped out to smoke?" This immediately gains your attention.

"What?"

"She said that she has never seen someone so in love, but then there were you." His lips twich slightly. "But it sounded way better in Spanish."

"Why did she tell you that?" You smile, slightly furrowing your eyebrows. Being drunk right now was no help at all.

"She wanted me to know that since... you know, I can't really see those things."

"Oh." You sigh, not pulling your eyes away from Matt, "She was a very smart woman."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, she wasn't wrong." You blurt out, covering your mouth with your hand. 

Matt stretches his hand out, his fingers brush against yours, and he gently takes your hand, touching your nails. "What color are they?" He softly asks, scooting closer.

"My nails?" You ask, trying to hide your surprise that he left with his touch. He nods, expectantly. "Red."

"Red like what?"

You furrow your eyebrows momentarily, but then you understand exactly what Matt meant. "Uh, it's dark red, almost like a chilli pepper or... Blood." His touch makes your head dizzy. "Or your glasses. I hate when you wear them." Feeling bold out of the blue, you take off his glasses, "your eyes are very pretty." 

"Can I do something?" Matt asks, turning the talk away from himself once again.

"Depends."

[transformers-mosaic]

Transformers: Mosaic - Fragments Josh van Reyk & Shaun Knowler

wada sez: The Mosaic project was a monumental undertaking from Josh van Reyk and Shaun Knowler. Their dedication to creating a platform for amateur fan creators, and to producing high-quality stories, eventually led to them writing an official, canonical Transformers comic in the form of Spotlight: Jazz; this post collects various promotional material for that issue, and a pseudocanonical followup Mosaic script that never materialised. But Spotlight: Jazz wasn't the only story they pitched to IDW...

Art by Matt C. Adams [2009-01-26, 2009-01-26, 2009-03-31, 2009-03-31]

Art by Joana Lafuente [2009-02-08]

Art by Chris Vera [2009-03-22, 2009-03-31, 2009-04-01, 2010-03-02, 2010-03-02]

Art by Casey Coller & John-Paul Bove [2009-03-25, 2009-03-30]

wada sez: This lineart from Coller was originally colored up by Matt C. Adams, as seen at the very top of this post, but John-Paul Bove also did his own version!

Spotlight: Ravage w/ Matt C. Adams [2009-11-27, 2009-11-27, 2009-11-27, 2009-11-30, 2010-01-02, 2010-01-02]

wada sez: Colors on that A cover were provided by Andrew Griffith.

Matt sez: "At Botcon '09 this past summer, my good friend Josh van Reyk and I pitched a story idea to some of the good folks from IDW Publishing as a possible issue of their Transformers Spotlight series. Unfortunately they had to turn us down on "Spotlight Ravage." But it wasn't because the story sucked. It turns out they already had a similar book planned, only this one would focus on the Movie Universe version of Ravage and was being written by the one and only Simon Furman. And in a strange coincidental twist, not only did his book, the soon to be released Transformers: Tales of the Fallen #5, feature (a version of) Ravage too, but it also had the exact same "hook" that our story had. And by "hook" I mean something that makes the book (fairly) unique and interesting for comic book fans. I won't say what that hook is, but if you take into account the fact that this cover is an homage to Larry Hama's classic G.I. Joe #21, a comic famous for being the first to have the very same hook, then you can probably guess what that hook is. ;)"

wada sez: The issue in question was Tales of the Fallen issue #5.

Matt sez: "Well, here's a part of the story I left out…

"After hearing why they were passing on the pitch, I was bold enough (or perhaps delusional enough ;) ) to ask one of editors if he knew if all the cover assignments for the Movie Ravage issue had been given out. He said they had, but there was still the possibility of a retailer incentive cover being produced. I then asked that if I was to take the same "silent issue" GI Joe homage idea and redo my Ravage cover so that it featured Movie Ravage, would he be interested in seeing it. He said yes. Fast forward a month or so and I get a response on the new cover I sent in. Unfortunately that response was also a "No." Bummer, right?

"But here's something that's not a bummer. Even though this cover won't see print, my good friend John-Paul Bove was kind enough to take my humble inks and turn them into something that is pretty damn awesome, in my (biased) opinion. :)"

"Making The Myth" (Jazz) w/ Ed Pirrie [2011-01-09]

Ed sez: "If I remember correctly, "Making the Myth" was co-authored by Josh and Shaun. It was definitely after SL:J was published. I don't know if you remember, but that issue got a bit of backlash by people who couldn't accept that Jazz might be able to solo the Predacons. This came out of me chatting with them about that, because I loved the issue, and how sad it was that people couldn't accept that an Autobot with the function "special ops" would actually be good at combat, especially against enemies that immediately underestimate him. I guess it's possible that those talks led to the idea for a Mosaic where he essentially explains why he was so good in a humble way, but honestly it's been so long I couldn't say for sure."

wada sez: The sole surviving snippet from Ed's art for this strip was, he believes, the fourth panel; I've included it at that point in the script.

Panel 1

We're looking down a corridor, as TRACKS chases after JAZZ. We're looking at the bots from front on. JAZZ looks over his shoulder as TRACKS yells out at him.

TRACKS Excuse me, sir!

JAZZ Mm?

JAZZ (CONT) Oh. It's Tracks, isn't it?

Panel 2

TRACKS has caught up to JAZZ now, and the two stand opposite one another. TRACKS should look a little awkward.

TRACKS Yeah, that's right, Sir.

JAZZ Good. What's on your mind?

TRACKS (CONT) I, uh, I just wanted to say thanks.

JAZZ (CONT) For?

TRACKS (CONT) For saving my Spark, Sir.* I know it was you.

JAZZ (CONT) You do, do you?

CAPTION *see Spotlight: Jazz

Panel 3

Close in on TRACKS, looking away slightly.

TRACKS Yeah, um, Bluestreak told me.

Panel 4

Close in on JAZZ, smiling, but not surprised.

JAZZ Ah, good 'ole Blue. That bot sure does love to gossip.

JAZZ But listen, kid. There's a reason why I made Ironhide promise not to tell you who I am. It's cause you weren't saved by me alone.

Panel 5

JAZZ puts his hand on TRACKS' shoulder, who perks up a bit.

TRACKS I don't understand, Sir.

JAZZ I know you don't, and that's okay. I've been fighting this war for a long time, and I've fought alongside a lot of different bots.

JAZZ (CONT) I've learned something new from every single one of them-- and they all helped me get you outta trouble.

JAZZ (CONT) That's what I want you to remember, okay? That's how I want you to live.

TRACKS Ah, I will, Sir. I'll make you proud, Sir.

JAZZ (CONT) I know you will, kid.

JAZZ Oh, and one more thing…

Panel 6

Close in on JAZZ, cheeky smile.

JAZZ …don't call me sir.

"The W Team" w/ Ed Pirrie

wada sez: I actually don't have any sort of link or source for this one, because I snatched the preview from Pirrie's deviantART shortly before the took the whole thing down! Still, he was kind enough to provide me with the full script for it. The whole thing is an homage to The A-Team, naturally.

Panel 1

KUP, SPRINGER, ROADBUSTER& WHIRL, all in electro-cuffs stand in the center of a large courtroom. Prowl is seated behind the 'judges' chair and is pointing an acussing finger at the group.

TEXT BOX Ten stellar-cycles ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

Panel 2

The outside wall of an Autobot prison explodes and KUP, SPRINGER, ROADBUSTER & WHIRL all rush out, guns blazing!

TEXT BOX These bots promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Iacon underground. Panel 3 KUP, SPRINGER, WHIRL and ROADBUSTER are bustin Decepticon heads in MACADAM's bar.

TEXT BOX Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

Panel 4

A group of micro-masters are surrounder STARSCREAM, THUNDERCRACKER and SKYWARP, all riding motorcycles.

TEXT BOX If you have a problem…

Panel 5

Elita-1, Arcee and the other fmebots, all beaten, are inside a local police station. Siren, Slapdash and Nightbeat are behind a counter, not interested in the girls problems.

TEXT BOX …if no one else can help you…

Panel 6

Red Alert, on crutches, is in a dark alley. He is handing a small vid-screen to Kup, who is hiding in the shadows.

TEXT BOX …and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…

Panel 7

Hero shot of KUP, SPRINGER, WHIRL and ROADBUSTER, similar to http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images /7/2010/01/the-a-team.jpg NOTE. KUP must have a cigar.

TEXT BOX …the Wreckers!

wada sez: That link above is dead, but the image in question was probably similar to this one:

Ed sez: "The cygar as a panel I don't [think] they asked for. It was an interstitial I added on a whim, to kind of pause the flow before the final panel. Not that any of that matters any more!"

wada sez: That's a wrap on all these lost scripts! Thank you for indulging me this last week. We're still not quite done, though—tomorrow, we'll be going back to actual comics that you can look at with your eyes!

[tarotoftheendless]

Forever Waiting: Waiting for Forever 0.5

Here it is guys, the first chapter of my little fanfiction about our beloved Will Donner/Willie Pajamas.

It is more mature than the film, so I will try to add the proper tags and warnings as we go forward.

I would like to thank @thoughtsfromlayla for being a beta reader and editor for me. Thank you for letting me show you this film so that you have the context needed for understanding my crazy plans and ideas for this fanfiction.

And I want to thank @dragon-kazansky for beta reading and just being my biggest encourager and cheerleader when actually getting started on writing this crazy wild fanfic. She has also made and provided the Chapter Cards. Thank you so much, and I love you!

I am excited for y'all to meet my OC Jules, she is cool and complicated and totally in love with our princess Willie.

Without further ado, here is Chapter One of Forever Waiting. Enjoy!

MASTER LIST/NEXT

************************************************************************

Forever Waiting

Summary:

Jules Smith is the twin sister of Joey. She has been in love with Will Donner, Willie, ever since they were children. But with Willie's constant fixation being Emma Twist, Jules has been content to suffer in silence. And then Willie has come back to their home town in Pennsylvania, but for Emma, not for her. How will they handle seeing each other after so many years and barely speaking in that time?

Warnings/Tags:

Over all angst for this chapter, some swearing if that bothers you. One-way pining. Clueless man is dense as fuck.

Chapter One: Don’t You (Forget About Me)

Friday, October 3rd, 2008 

Taft, Pennsylvania

10:23am

Jules’ POV

Sitting in the back room of my brother’s business, even as messy as it was with boxes of over-stock scattered everywhere, I was wasting time on my Blackberry playing Solitaire with one earbud in. The sound of the electronic bell of the front door of the store barely registered with me. Not much was happening in the shop this early in the morning so I was taking my break early. I was going to be leaving soon anyway because of an event I had this evening to get ready for. 

Then I hear my brother yell for his wife, my sister-in-law, to come here, even the sounds of Peter Steele’s sultry voice in “Love You To Death” can’t keep me from being mildly interested in what was going on. Closing out of my game app, I pause my music, taking out the one earbud I had in and then wrap the cord around my phone before stuffing the device in my side pocket of my cargo pants.

Then I hear my brother say, “It’s Willie!” And my heart both drops and began to beat faster. Dolores repeats the name. He is back. That can only mean that so was she; Emma.

Getting up from my reclined position in the chair I had chosen to take my break in, I stand, stretching. Then finally I made my way through the doorway, going down the small hallway that led to the sales floor.

As my twin and his wife greets Willie, I settle behind the counter, leaning against it, just watching. He hugs Dolores, or Dee as I called her, and then got up on a chair to better hug my abnormally tall brother. Biting my lip, likely chipping the matte black finish of my lipstick, my heart beat faster when I notice how good Willie look.

“You gotta introduce me to this one,” Willie says as he moves around to sit in my nephew’s kiddy chair, my sister-in-law urging Gabe to say ‘hi’ to Willie. Part of me finds this very endearing but the other part of me is mad at him for not being here for his birth. Yet my brother still named Willie Gabe’s godfather.

The last time I saw him was when he came up briefly from Oregon to be the best man at Joey’s wedding, and I was Dee’s Maid of Honor. I had barely spoken to him then. I hadn’t seen him all throughout highschool because he had stopped visiting in the summer after middle school. It had hurt every time. Though he had stayed with my family because Joey was his best friend before the accident, Willie was never here for us, his best friends. He was always here for Emma.

That’s when it dawns on me.

Joey had gone to the local grocery mart downtown about five days ago on a big shopping spree to stock up on stuff for the house. With him providing for himself, his wife and his kid on top of me living in their basement, we go through food pretty fast. The thing I realized though was that if Willie is back, that means Emma is back, and the only place my brother gets his Emma gossip now is from the loose-lipped older lady cashiers at the mart. That is also where Emma’s mother, Miranda, shops. Miranda is almost as bad as Willie is when it comes to Emma; ‘Emma this’ and ‘Emma that’.

Watching Willie sit in one of the kiddy chairs, playing with Gabe, made my heart just ache. He was always beautiful to me. He has definitely come into his own style, really leaning into the vagabond hipster look with the black bowler hat, blue and white plaid pajamas, cherry red hightops and black up-buttoned vest over a well worn graphic T and pajama top with the sleeves rolled up. And his smile? To die for.

Finally his gaze lifts from playing with Gabe, his eyes meeting mine. I must have looked shocked because his expression changes to one of delight to confusion and another emotion I couldn’t quite place. He blinks his eyes multiple times as he looks at me. Seeing this well known tic of his had all our childhood memories flooding back.

“Jules?” He almost whispers the question as both Joey and Dee turn to look back at me. I almost wish I had stayed in the back to finish out my break.

“Hi, Willie,” I answer back almost as quietly, giving him a small smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.

Putting down the rubber duck he had been playing with to entertain my nephew, Willie gets out of the child’s chair and bounds over to me. Not exactly wanting him to jump up onto the front counter, I move from behind it onto the sales floor.

Willie pulls me into one of his signature all encompassing embraces and I barely have time to register what is happening. For a moment my arms hang at my sides, unsure what to do. My eyes meet my brother and he gives me that look that is basically telling me ‘Don’t be weird’, so I return Willie’s hug. He holds me for a few more seconds and then pulls away.

“Look at you, when did you grow up to be so pretty?” Willie muses as his fingers found my exposed waist, making my heart flutter but I pull away from his grasp before he realizes the effect he has on me.

“You saw me three years ago, at their wedding, did I not look good in pastel pink or something?” I counter as I drop my gaze, my hand reaching up to tuck my hair behind one of my ears.

“No, you just look different, that’s all. The purple is new,” Willie indictates with his pointer finger towards my hair, which is in a longer shag cut and a plum purple color.

“Well, maybe I was sick of being recognized as his sister,” I motion my head towards my brother, who puts his hands up in surrender.

“With how short you are, sis, I don’t think people mistake us for twins as much as you think,” Joey chimes in as he walks up to Willie and I, leaving his wife to play with my nephew.

Dee turns her head towards us to look over her shoulder at her husband, smiling teasingly as she plays with the bead maze to entertain Gabe. “If Jules had been taller, I would have married her instead. She has nicer… assets…” Dee finishes with a wink at her husband, who rolls his eyes at his wife in response.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the line of conversation, I start to inch away ever so slightly from my brother and Willie. “Well, it was either someone helping you reach things in the top cupboard or curves that could kill, it’s not my fault you chose my flat-assed brother.”

Willie just giggles at the exchange and my heart almost stops at the sound of it. He is such a dork and yet that is the very thing that made me fall for him when we were kids before his parents passed.

Joey feigns an offended look on his face, putting his hands on his hips in a mock scolding stance. “Hey, young ears are present. Secondly, I take offense to that, I think I look just fine,” He twists his body so he can get a look at his khaki-covered behind. Dee stands from playing with Gabe, my nephew completely oblivious to the ribbing that is taking place, and moves over next to Joey. 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dearest," She says as she links arms with him. They give each other a challenging look that to me says that this conversation should not be happening in my brother’s business, let alone in front of his 2 year old.

Willie and I share a look, he appears amused as he has always loved - well - love. I blush, quickly diverting my gaze back to my brother and sister-in-law. And as if my prayers were answered, a couple of customers, an older man and woman, opened the glass door, stepping inside.

“Oh, thank god, I thought I would have had to remind you two that you have an audience… but hey customers! You got this, right, Joey? Yeah? Good. I’m gonna dip. I need a smoke.” I say as I turn on my heels, not even as much as glancing at Willie. Though I feel him watching me walk away towards the cash register counter. 

As I make it back to the backroom to grab my purse, a very worn black and white tie-dyed hippie purse, I hear Willie ask, “Is she okay? Something felt… off? I’m not sure.”

Hearing him ask that makes me pause and listen for a moment as I grab my phone from my pocket again, unraveling my headphones.

“I’ve got them, and Dolores can be with Gabe. I think you should talk to her, Will.” I hear my brother say to Willie. I just can see in my mind's eye that Joey likely put his hand on Willie’s shoulder, and Willie having that very confused yet concerned look on his face. 

My anxiety spikes, my craving for nicotine getting steadily worse. Joey knows how I feel about Willie, Dee does not. I made Joey promise to never tell anyone. I think that he is trying to help, but with Emma in the middle of it all, I know that my brother knows that I don’t want to make things more confusing for Willie.

Leaving the backroom with my purse on my shoulder, I turn left to go to the back door. Opening it, the heat of early October is still clinging on as I step onto the back landing and walk down a couple steps to sit down. Fishing out my lighter and pack of cigarettes, I light one, take a drag, and immediately feel a calm wash over me. I put my phone in my lap, stuffing one earbud in my left ear, the melodic strains of ‘These Things’ begins to play.

I don’t even turn my head when the door creaks back open and out of the corner of my eye I see the flash of red, well worn Converse. Silently, Willie sits next to me, his shoulders and thighs pressed against mine, the closeness familiar as though it was still the summers between our middle school years.

“When did you start smoking?” He asks quietly, his eyes studying my face as I kept my eyes forward. 

The back of the shop had a street and park on the other side of it and there were just kids playing and parents talking while they kept watch over them. In the grassier part of the park had both couples and individuals laying on blankets, either reading or having picnics. People watching is what I usually do when I have a lot on my mind.

Taking a drag then blowing out the smoke away from his face, I sigh. “Why? Are you judging me?” Turning my head to meet his gaze, I keep a serious face. He has that deer in headlights look for a moment. I smile at him and nudge him gently. “Fucking hell, Willie, lighten up. You’re fine.”

He smiles at me, but it isn’t as bright at that first smile he gave me when he hugged me. Sighing again, I answer his question, “Oh you know, got in with a bad crowd, picked up bad habits just to deal with those two.” I gesture my head back to the closed door behind us to emphasize that I am in fact talking about Joey and Dolores.

Flicking my cigarette so the ashes fell on the ground, I leaned into Willie to whisper close to his ear. “And on full moons, I run naked in the woods and bite the heads off of live chickens.”

That gets a laugh out of him and he nudges me back. “There she is, my dark humored best friend,” he says as he reaches a hand over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. It takes everything in me to will the heat away from rising to my cheeks.

“I am kinda surprised you are working for Joey though, appliances don’t really seem like your thing,” he comments as he does an up and down look at me. I had always been edgier than Joey and even Willie, favoring darker colors and more macabre topics and music. 

My current outfit has Willie overanalyzing me and I shift uncomfortably next to him. I am suddenly conscious of my dark camo cargo pants with my tight altered cropped band T of Rob Zombie, the print of it cracked and fading. Willie’s eyes stay on the exposed skin of my midriff for longer than I would want him to, especially since he has friend-zoned me. Luckily his eyes moved down to my shoes. I have on my crimson red Doc Martens.

“Did you ever start that band? You look like a rockstar,” he says, the sincerity coming through his voice, but also he sounded regretful. The last summer he had stayed with my family, I had expressed that I wanted to start a band with some school friends.

“Yeah, actually we did. I have a gig tonight downtown,” I say, taking another drag of my cigarette.

“Really? That’s amazing. What’s your band’s name?” Willie asks, excitement in his voice as he catches my eyes. I had forgotten how blue his eyes were and I couldn’t look away.

Smiling at him with a knowing smile I say, “Suicidal Wyrms, but with Wyrms spelled with a ‘Y’ instead.”

Willie chuckles. “Wait, you named your band after a conversation we had over a decade ago?”

Nudging him again, I laugh and say, “It was a good name, though obviously we had to make it more metal. I even got a tattoo of the logo on my thigh.”

Leaning away from me on the steps, Willie eyes me up and down again. “You got a tattoo? Can I see it?” His hand finds my thigh, poking me in a teasing manner.

I lean away from him a little more, pushing him as I laugh at him. “No, I’d have to pull down my pants and we’re in public, Willie. Jesus fuck.”

Dropping my cigarette on the cement step by my feet, I put it out with the ball of my shoe.

“Fair enough, Jules,” Willie chuckles again. He takes off his bowler hat and puts it on my head. I scoff playfully, making him laugh again. “I missed you, Jules, really.”

Sighing, I lean forward resting my elbows on my knees, my head resting on my hand. Turning my head, I met his gaze. “You could have written to me, you know.”

His expression softens to one of regret. “I know… I guess I just assumed Joey would have updated you on my comings and goings.”

Groaning, I stretch my legs out on the steps, breaking eye contact with him. I place his hat over my face for a few moments before taking it off again and placing it in his lap. He is peering down at me with worry etching in his brows. I can feel my phone start slip from my lap, so I put a hand over it to hold it in place.

“I thought we were closer than that, Willie. I taught you to juggle. I let you steal this hat that last summer. You shared everything with me. When you lumped me in with my brother and just the ‘family’ when it came to getting updates on your life, I guess I was just a bit…” I trail off realizing I maybe shared more of my feelings than I wanted to, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“A bit hurt?” Willie offers. As he tears his eyes from me and focuses forward as he sat on the steps next to me, I could see shame on his face. He feels bad.

Sitting back up, I reach out to pinch him on his thigh right above his knee. His eyes followed my movements, but he didn’t react. I knew he couldn’t feel a thing right there as the nerve endings were severed from a childhood accident.

“Yeah, a bit hurt. You’re my best friend, Willie. I have hated the fact that we grew apart. I really could have used your friendship in highschool.” I say as I lean up against him, resting my head on his shoulder. He put an arm around me, his fingers cool against the skin on my ribs.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Just before highschool I got the impression that you didn’t want to hear about my life anymore.” Willie sadly muses.

“One frustrated disagreement did not mean I never wanted to hear from you again, Willie. I was just frustrated, that was it.” I admit to him, hoping to start to clear the air between us.

His answer to that was to kiss the side of my forehead, squeeze me one more time, before releasing me. He grabs his bowler hat, putting it back on.

“I wish we had been able to say these things a long time ago then, Jules. I really missed you too. I have done so much, gone to so many cool places. It would have been nice to talk to you about it, specifically,” he says, catching my gaze again.

“How is Emma? You being back here must mean she is back,” I ask him and there is an emotion that washes over his face that I can’t quite read before he shakes it off and smiles at my line of questioning.

“Joey called me four days ago. Her dad’s sick,” Willie explains.

“Joey didn’t tell me…” I say, my words kind of veering off at the end. “And what is your plan? Are you finally going to tell her?”

Willie drops his gaze to look at his shoes, his fingers clutching the fabric of his pajama pants. He’s nervous, I can tell.

“I plan to… either today or tomorrow,” he confides in me. 

“Well, if you don’t tonight, you should come see my band play. It’s at a bar next to your brother’s work. I’ll make sure you get the VIP treatment, no cover charge and free drinks.” I hope I am more enticing than Emma. “And besides, you said you wanted to see my tattoo, my get up tonight will be showing it off for all to see.” I nudge him, teasing him a bit.

He smirks and looks at me with humor in his eyes again. “Yeah, sure, maybe I could do that.”

Leaning over, I kiss him on the cheek. When I pull back I smile and say, “Good.” Reaching up, I lift his hat and ruffle his already kinda messy brunette hair. He laughs at me, grabs the hat back before flattening down his hair again and putting his hat back on.

I stick my tongue out at him and help fix his bangs so that they are hanging over his forehead just right in his hat. “There, gorgeous again,” I say as I smile at him playfully.

He blushes, but tries to recover quickly. “What are you listening to?” He points to the earbud that isn’t in my ear.

I hold it out to him so he can take the earbud. “Just a bit of Siouxsie,” I say as he puts the earbud in his ear to listen with me. ‘Spellbound’ is playing and he smiles.

“Moon child,” he muses, his little nickname for me.

“Sweet summer child,” I answer back, my nickname for him, though he was born in December.

My brother has once called Willie the sun to my moon as Willie was always someone who could cheer me up when I was down, and I had been able to anchor Willie when he got dragged out on the tide. After my brother’s wedding, even though I hadn’t reconnected fully with Willie back then, I had gotten a sun tattoo over my heart. I am thankful I am wearing a T-shirt that has it covered right now as I am not ready for him to know that I had gotten that tattoo, let alone that he is the reason for it.

Before he have to leave because of his parents' deaths, Willie and his older brother Jim had been my family’s neighbors. We used to see each other everyday and Emma was always his topic of choice. We all went to school together, and Emma lived a couple neighborhoods over, a playground and park separating us from her. 

Though I saw him everyday, he was always so excited for his playdates with Emma. I don’t think he really remembers that Joey and I were there whenever she was around. I might have been Willie’s moon, but Emma was his North Star. 

There were times where I thought just maybe he noticed me staring at him, but he never did. If he did he never mentioned it. I think he just saw me as Joey’s twin sister, one of his oldest bestest friends. 

Willie had always had his head in the clouds, easily distracted, daydreaming, talking to himself if he wasn’t gushing about Emma. Joey and I, and then Dolores when Joey had started dating her in middle school, had always been understanding of what Willie was going through. He had always been different, even before the accident, but after the accident, he changed. That’s when the talking to himself got worse and his attachment to Emma got all encompassing. 

Jim never understood it, and it really pissed me off. In my eyes, Jim was always trying to clip his brother’s wings, and that made me hate him.

As the song changed on my phone, I take the earbud out of Willie’s ear. He turns his head to look at me questioningly.

“I gotta go get ready for the gig, Willie,” I explain as I wrap my headphones around my phone again and grab my purse from the top step behind me. Putting my phone away and slinging my purse over my shoulder, I stand up, walking down the last couple steps.

He just simply nods and looks at me with those baby blues that just melted my heart.

“The door is unlocked, go visit with Joey, Dee and Gabe. They have missed you too. I can’t monopolize all your time after all,” I say with a reassuring smile. He smiles back at me in such a way that makes me just wish I could tell him how I feel, completely derailing his reason for coming back to Taft. He stands and stretches then makes his way back onto the top landing.

As he reaches for the handle of the backdoor I call out to him, “Please consider coming to the gig, Willie. It starts at 10.”

He grins again, nodding, then opens the door to go back inside my brother's appliance shop.

Sighing, I begin to walk the couple blocks home. Making sure I keep my feelings for Willie a secret might be harder than I thought. Or will I be able to count on him being dense and his focus staying on Emma? My mind raced as I made my way back home. 

I thought back to why he may have felt like he couldn’t confide in me anymore.

***********************************************************************

Saturday, August 28th, 1999

Taft, Pennsylvania 

2:43pm 

Jules’ POV

It was the last day of summer. Well, for me it was. Willie was going back to Cape Cod tomorrow so he could get ready for the beginning of his school year. The first year in high school for all of us; me and my twin Joey, Dee who just started dating my brother a year ago, Willie and then Emma. 

It was hot and muggy, so Joey suggested we go to the swimming creek on the other side of the park, past Taft Woods. We all thought that was a great idea, even Emma, who Willie had insisted on hanging out with us. Never wanting to deny Willie his happiness when it came to Emma, saying no didn’t feel like an option to me.

After we got dressed in our swimsuits, we raced each other on our bikes, pedaling our way across town.

I was pretty proud of my restored Schwinn bike that I was riding. I had spray-painted it glossy black with gold accents, giving it a very gothic appearance. Even my wicker basket I had painted black and nailed old baby doll heads and parts to it, all made to look dirty with red paint to make them look bloody. Willie had told me he thought it was cool, but Emma had turned her nose up at it.

The boys were just biking in their trunks, whereas Dee, Emma and I were in shorts and our bikinis. Both Dee and Emma wore pink tops and had blue denim shorts on. I, however, had started to favor black more than girly colors, so my shorts were gray and my top was black. Willie wore blue and my brother wore red.

What we wore stood out so intensely in my mind, though I don’t know why. My hair was still mousy brown and so long it touched the top of my butt. I usually wore it in ponytails.

As we got to the creek on the other side of the woods, our excitement heightened. It may have had something to do with us being as hot as we were in the heat and biking as hard as we did to get here.

The dock came into sight and we abandoned our bikes on the top of the ridge, running down the grassy knoll as fast as we all could in flip flops. Us girls stripped out of our shorts, and the boys bounded forward ahead of us, only having to kick off their sandals. 

Joey cannonballed off the dock and Willie? Well, he was more of a show off. Willie caught Emma’s eye, winked at her before he got a running start and did a backflip off the dock. Emma laughed, racing after Willie, then jumping off the dock into the water.

Joey was doing laps in the water, something about building endurance, but I have no idea what for. Willie had motioned for Dee and I to hurry up and get in the water.

“Come on, the water is great!” Willie called out to us. Emma then splashed Willie, earning her a splash back in return.

Dee and I exchanged a look, smiling like silly teenaged fools.

Then we were all in the water; playing, laughing, enjoying ourselves. 

Dee and Joey were the first to get out. They found a nice patch of grass to lay down on. I tried not to think too much about whatever they could be doing. My brother was getting too ‘coupley’ with his girlfriend, and that was all I wanted to know about it.

Willie on the other hand was way more innocent. We were all fourteen. Though I know Willie had gone through puberty; his voice dropping and facial hair coming in all patchy (luckily he shaved it on the regular), he was always so sweet and respectful to us girls. Willie always blushed when my brother made dirty jokes and comments. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

As the day went on though, I felt more like a third wheel for whatever was going on with Willie and Emma. Granted, I didn't think Emma was aware that Willie was flirting with her, but I knew him. He always came to me, because I was a girl and I knew what girls liked, right? 

As I watched Emma just let Willie show off for her; juggling, rock-skipping, flipping off the dock, and holding his breath under water in record times for someone our age; I realized that she and I couldn’t be more different. She didn’t see him. Not really. She was dazzled by what he can do, but I could tell she has no idea what was at the heart of him. 

At one point, I just climbed onto the dock to sunbathe with my feet dangling over the edge. Feeling the water come up over my ankles felt nice. I put my arm over my eyes. Willie was showing Emma how many skips he could get with rocks. He had gotten to ten so far. She was kind of obnoxiously impressed, but I was just proud of him. Yet another thing I had taught him. All for her.

In the distance I could hear Dee giggling at something my brother either said or did, and I just groaned, rolling my eyes under my arm.

“Joey! Please, for fuck’s sake, don’t make me an aunty yet! We’re only fourteen!” I shouted at my twin.

“Fuck off, Jules!” was the only response I got out of him. Willie and Emma just giggled and I think Emma breathed an ‘Eww’ under her breath.

A few minutes passed and I heard Emma say something panicked. “I can’t believe it, I lost track of time! My dance lesson is at 6pm!”

“It’s 4:38 right now, do you want us to bike back with you?” asked Joey as he looked at the waterproof watch that he had on.

“No, no, I don’t want to take you guys away from your fun. I can manage,” Emma dismissed Joey’s suggestion.

“I can bike with you, if you want Emma,” Willie offered genuinely, the hope of just being able to spend time with her in his voice.

“No, really,” Emma started as she pulled on her shorts, slipping her flip flops back on. “I have to race home and shower, not really fun for anyone. Just stay, enjoy the water more. I gotta go.” She made her way back up the hill towards her bike.

Sitting up on the dock, I twisted around to watch Emma get her bike ready to ride away, Willie in tow. He was between saying goodbye and still offering to go with her. She kept brushing him off to the point where he just stood on the hill, an almost defeated expression on his face.

“Dee and I are gonna go back anyway,” Joey said as he and his girlfriend stood up. Dee grabbed her things and puts them back on. “Willie, stay with Jules, okay?”

Willie just nodded at Joey as they made their way back up to their bikes and followed after Emma.

There was a silence that washed over the space. The breeze made a pleasant rustling sound through the trees. Birds chirped and the water flowed. It was peaceful. Willie and I were alone, finally. Maybe I could tell him how I felt and he’d forget all about Emma.

He walked back down to the dock. Sighing, he sank onto his butt behind me, leaning his back against mine.

“I didn’t know she had dance class today… of all days,” he said quietly. It was his last night staying with Joey and I, I knew he had high hopes for tonight.

Pressing the back of my head against his, I sigh in return. “I know, Willie. But hey, I’m still here. And Joey will be back at the house. I think dad is planning to have a campfire in the back tonight for s’mores.”

I could almost feel Willie smile at that as he leaned against me. “I wish Emma could join us.”

Internally I had to tell myself to bite my tongue. She made him happy and Willie being happy is all I wanted. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help that I didn’t like her. She did not see him. She did not know him. I could always feel how much she looked down her nose at him. ‘Just sweet baby, Willie’ I overheard her say once to a preppy friend of hers at school after she had gotten a letter from him. She infantilized him. I hated it. Maybe I was only just about to start high school, but I knew seeing Willie as less than in the way that she did was just wrong.

Instead of responding to him, lest I say something I didn't mean to say out loud, I just hummed at him. “Emma was telling me that she is going to be taking acting classes at the local theater. She wants to be a movie star. She’ll be the prettiest movie star ever,” Willie gushed with admiration in his voice.

Without meaning to, I groaned. “Willie, can we please talk about fucking anything else, please?” I said, my agitation apparent.

He slowly pushed away from my back, twisting to eye the back of my head. I turn to meet his gaze. 

His expression goes through many emotions; first I see hurt and surprise flash in his eyes, but he shook that off, settling on a questioning smile. “What? Do you not like the theater or something?” He asked, teasing me as if that’s what he believed I might possibly be irritated with.

Groaning again, I get up on the dock, looking down at him. He really is deflecting, thinking it had to be something other than Emma that I could find annoying. He tilted his head up, putting up a hand to shield the sun from his eyes, confusion clear on his face past the squinting.

“Theater? Willie, I love you, but you are fucking dense sometimes,” I said, lifting my arms in exasperation.

Willie scrambled to his feet to meet me at eye level. “I don’t understand. Jules? What did I say?”

“Emma this. Emma that. I know you are in love with her and all that, but can you ever just shut the fuck up about her? Like for once?” I raised my voice at him, making him flinch and take a step back from me.

Lowering his eyes from mine, his bare shoulders sag. “I’m sorry,” he said so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.

My eyes softened, but only just a bit because he then said, “I was going to tell her how I felt today…”

My anger came back in full force. Scoffing, I pushed past him, leaving him stunned on the dock as I snatched up my shorts and shoes, roughly putting them on.

I stomped up to my bike and I yelled back at Willie without looking at him, “Come on, Joey wanted you to stay with me! I’m going home!”

Just barely did I give him enough time to get his shoes and bike before I was racing through the woods. He had a hard time keeping up with me. I think we were both crying on that bike ride home. It was his last night here for the summer, and all he could think about was Emma. It was always Emma.

MASTER LIST/NEXT

[sandybrett]

WOE.BEGONE Character Playlists, Part 2

Here are all my character playlists for WOE.BEGONE characters who are not, have never been, and will presumably never be Mike Walters. Listed in order of first appearance. Cut for length and possible vague spoilers.

Matt

"The Magician" by Dizzy "The Winding Stair Mountain Blues" by the Turnpike Troubadours "Cuyahoga Canal" by The Taxpayers (suggested on the Discord) "Down Here" by the Turnpike Troubadours "Research Me Obsessively" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Anne

"She Lives (In a Time of Her Own)" by The Judybats "A Shot in the Arm" by Wilco "Bravado" by Lorde "We Can Build a Fire" by Autoheart (from a collaborative Ty/Mike playlist) "Shot at the Title" by Curtis McMurtry "The Bonnie Dell House" by Sarah and the Safe Word (from @fortunechaos's Cowgirl Anne playlist)

Ryan & Cannonball

"Turn The Lights Off" by Tally Hall (suggested on Discord) "Blast Doors" by Everything Everything (from Percival's playlist)

Hunter

"So-Called Friend" by Uncle Tupelo "Hanging Tree" by Tim Easton "Heel Turn 1" by The Mountain Goats (suggested by @solipsistful) "Chaplinesque" by Curtis McMurtry "Harvest" by I See Hawks In L.A. "Heel Turn 2" by The Mountain Goats (from @solipsistful's playlist) "Burning Bed" by The Backsliders "When Will You Die?" by They Might Be Giants "Gaucho" by Steely Dan "Can't Cheat Death" by The Ballroom Thieves (from @fortunechaos's Mikey playlist) "my tears richochet" by Taylor Swift "A Fond Farewell" by Elliott Smith

Chance & Shadow

"Emmylou" by First Aid Kit (suggested by @woebegonepod on Discord) "Trouble's Here" by Jann Browne "Don't Follow" by Shelby Merry (from @auxilion's playlist)

Marissa & Charlie

"Old Slew Foot" by Rose Maddox "Miss Marissa" by Reckless Kelly "The Girl I Can't Forget" by Fountains of Wayne "Wilder than Her" by Dar Williams "Don't Follow" by Shelby Merry (from @auxilion's playlist) "it's time to get good at darts" by Brian David Gilbert

Edgar

"What A Heavenly Way To Die" by Troye Sivan "Flaws" by Bastille (from Scholastic Arson's Edgar playlist) "FOOLS" by Troye Sivan "Don't Ask Me Why" by The Backsliders "Body Paint" by Arctic Monkeys (suggested by @fortunechaos) "Out of the Picture" by Son Volt "When Anger Shows" by Editors (from Scholastic Arson's Edgar playlist) "Happiness Will Ruin This Place" by San Fermin (from @ante--meridiem's Mike/Edgar playlist) "I Saw It Coming" by Reckless Kelly "A Lifetime to Find" by Wilco "In Our Bedroom After the War" by Stars (from Scholastic Arson's Edgar playlist) "Mesa, Arizona" by Jeffrey Foucault "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" by Paula Cole "Expert in a Dying Field" by The Beths "IDK You Yet" by Alexander 23 (from @auxilion's playlist) "Ours" by Joe Pug (suggested by @woebegonepod on Discord) "Somewhere in Time" by Reckless Kelly

Ty

"This House Is a Circus" by Arctic Monkeys (suggested by @fortunechaos) "Erase" by They Might Be Giants (from @solipsistful's playlist) "I Love You for Psychological Reasons" by They Might Be Giants (from a collaborative Ty/Mike playlist) "My Ugly" by Cloudfodder (from Scholastic Arson's Ty/Mike playlist) "Skullcrusher Mountain" by Jonathan Coulton (from a collaborative Ty/Mike playlist) "Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other" by Ned Sublette "Panoply" by WOE.BEGONE (from @fortunechaos's Tex/Outlaw playlist) "Otters" by Ryan MacIntyre (from @fortunechaos's Tex/Outlaw playlist) "Expert in a Dying Field" by The Beths "Pot Kettle Black" by Wilco "Outlaw Ty" by WOE.BEGONE "Jenny" by the Mountain Goats "It's All Part of the Plan" by the Punch Brothers "Sway" by The Rolling Stones "Blood Orange Morning Light" by Andrew Montana (from finch's Tex/Outlaw playlist)

Felix

"This House Is a Circus" by Arctic Monkeys "Parallel Universes" by Dan Warren (from @ante--meridiem's Mike playlist) "3 AM" by Matchbox Twenty "Working for the Knife" by Mitski

August

"Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other" by Ned Sublette "Seven Shells" by Fred Eaglesmith "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier "IDK You Yet" by Alexander 23 (from @auxilion's playlist) "I Saw It Coming" by Reckless Kelly "The Curse of the Blackened Eye" by Orville Peck (from Icarus is Falling's Michael/August playlist) "Mostly Major Chords" by Shayfer James (from @fortunechaos's Mikey playlist)

Jam

"Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant "Fun" by Troye Sivan "Gaucho" by Steely Dan "Tonight's the Day" by Wilco "ilomilo" by Billie Eilish "Ours" by Joe Pug "The Ballad of Cowboy Jam" by WOE.BEGONE

Eagle

"Kill a Man" by James and the Shame (from @auxilion's playlist) "Eye" by The Scarring Party (from @auxilion's playlist) "War on War" by Wilco "Epithet Erased: Countdown" by plasterbrain and Dawn M. Bennett (from Percival's playlist)

Songs that I desperately want to put on *someone's* playlist but I don't think they currently fit anyone

"Leavin' Yesterday" by John Howie Jr. and the Rosewood Bluff "Tired of Walking" by James McMurtry "Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But..." by Arctic Monkeys "Man Out of Time" by Elvis Costello "Broken Bed" by James McMurtry "Twist the Knife" by Neko Case

[xtrablak674]

1/8/93

Hi, I am the Editor, Producer, and Main writer for Fashion Fag Magazine® I do not want to be the only contributor to this magazine. I want and love your input and support to make this magazine, that you can rely on for good articles, poetry, reviews, fashion tips etc. Use this magazine as an outlet for your feelings and emotions. I will try to have in depth interviews with prominent gay figures and the ordinary fag. Unlike other magazine this magazine will not be, Gay white male oriented.

This magazine will be inclusive of everyone, lesbians, bi-sexuals and supporters. People of all races, colors and socio-economical backgrounds will be represented within these pages. If you see us falling short on any of these promises let us know because we are here to serve your needs. With all of this said enjoy your first issue of Fashion Fag Magazine®

Peace, Love + Hair Grease

Miss Trevor

Nineteen Ninety-Three, thirty-one years ago, three decades, a quarter of a century, seriously a lifetime ago, but one thing is consistent I have used the written word to express my feelings, values, failures and loves for a long damned time. Mind you, this was the furthest thing from a magazine, the first issue basically being double-sided text on colored office paper, it was all about the aspiration!

I would love to say my starting this zine/newsletter was an original idea but that would a fine piece of creative retelling of history. My college friend Matthew Carlin had a newsletter called TMCM, The Matt Carlin Mirror where he talked about his life, love, school and anything else that came to mind. It was his post-college way of keeping in touch with the friends made back in Ithaca, and like him I thought I could do the same and grow the fan-base I thought I had, in my head.

Desktop publishing was a new idea in the early nineties, albeit Quark Xpress was started in 1981, it didn't become more widely used until the early nineties on Macintosh and Windows dominating the market share of the time. I wouldn't start using it myself until '95 somehow coping a bootleg version for my Mac SE. Previously I was using AppleWorks which later became ClarisWorks, this was basically just a word processing application, and I remember to create just one page I would have to create a text box in different positions and put them together when I printed it.

Below is one of the template pages from issue #2, there are three parts of this page, the find-a-word with its description below, Miss Moody Herself and the bits below it, and the three columns on the lower half. I didn't know how to make ClarisWork split up a page into different areas. I could easily make columns, but having something on the upper half of the page that was different than the content on the lower page had to be done by passing the document through the printer multiple times my Apple StyleWriter II.

So in my digital files for one page I would sometimes have three or four ClarisWord docs. It made for a slightly confusing organizing of an issue because one four page issue could easily have twelve to sixteen files. Quark Xpress which I taught myself, would get rid of the need for multiple documents and multiple passes through the printer. It had become the standard for desktop publishing and it was appropriate that I should utilize the industry standard for my own mass-read publication.

Sorry, I went off into a technical rabbit hole, but I think part of understanding who I am is to understand my technical proficiency throughout my adult life, and even now, its one of the things that I seriously think gave me the edge when I went to work in the corporate world, the fact that I had dabbled in so many applications and technology made me hit the ground running faster than a lot of my contemporaries.

I wish I still had that old SE, I gave it back to the friend who I purchased it from as a payment for his ripping out the old red carpet in my new apartment, the same one I am living in today. The reason I would love to have it, is I know there was a special app I used to create the type for Fashion Fag Magazine, my initial logo, which would change by my third issue.

Looking back at this production this was truly the first manifestation of my artistic voice as an adult. As I am learning of my childhood where I attempted to draw, sing, perform and write a little bit, but here I was now taking writing to the forefront as a means of expression. Albeit untrained I was designing a newsletter about my life and my experiences, I was seeking to give a voice to my identities and the struggles faced there within.

For all the wonderful things I learned at college, in this post-college queer world I was attempting to be seen for all the many aspects of my personhood, not just a body part, skin color or general aesthetic appeal. One of the backlashes of attending a primarily white educational institution, no matter had well-intentioned folks were, I was repeatedly othered. Sometimes by the people who looked like like me and had similar social-economic backgrounds, and others who loved the way I did with varying economic backgrounds but also failed to see the entire me.

Just a brief moment about the title, I have alway had a thing for fashion albeit my vision for myself and what was actually executed in the real-world wouldn't align until much later. I still felt I had the potential for a personal style that would surpass that of my peers.

Albeit the whyte queers weren't necessarily always the most fashion-forward of folks, particularly the ones I knew, I envisioned personal style being able to push the envelope and announce something more nuanced about my personality other than just being Black and queer. This voice would come to full fruition later, but Fashion Fag Magazine was precognition of what I knew would come in time.

Through my observations about my world I wanted folks to see the world in the way that I did. And through my nine issues published from nineteen ninety-three through nineteen ninety-six I attempted just that, sometimes successful other-times failing miserable, but still trying to make myself seen and heard in a world that wasn't really checking it for people like me, dark-skinned, femme, gender non-conforming, queer, well-spoken, nerdy, comic book reading, dance the house down folk.

I am going to try to translate this classic text for a new audience, who am I fooling with my twelve followers here, but I look at this mini-blog as a digital obituary for my life, and its important to include all the bits and pieces of a life, so you're are not just broken down to legal document or a one-hundred and fifty word summary. For as long as Tumblr is around which may be less than the span of my life, I at least want to make an attempt to record my thoughts and feelings about the breadth of the experiences of Trevor A. Brown.

[Photos by Brown Estate]

[mattnben-bennmatt]

PAJAMA GAME Affleck with Matt Damon the morning after Damon slept over at Affleck's loft. Their friendship was "a good publicity thing for marketing people," Damon says.

[Photograph included in Ben Affleck’s interview for Vanity Fair (October 1999)]

-

The case of the groggy-eyed Damon

By Jeannette Walls for MSNBC (7 June 2000)

Is Matt Damon appearing in Talk magazine because he's mad at rival Vanity Fair? The star of Good Will Hunting and The Talented Mr. Ripley got furious with Vanity Fair after the magazine ran a photo of him that he was promised wouldn't be used, sources say.

MATT DAMON was visiting his friend Ben Affleck late last year, according to one source, when he walked into a room where photographer Annie Leibowitz was taking pictures for a Vanity Fair cover story on Affleck. "He was all groggy and didn't want Annie to take his picture, but she insisted it would never appear in print and that it was just for her personal collection," says the insider. "So he relented. He was absolutely furious when Vanity Fair ran the picture. He was very, very upset about being lied to." Miramax, the studio most closely linked with both Damon and Affleck, was also furious, says the source.

Every magazine in the business was eager to get Damon for its cover for his All the Pretty Horses, which Miramax and Columbia are releasing this fall. Some media insiders are saying that after the alleged betrayal, Damon decided to appear on the cover of Vanity Fair's less successful arch rival Talk magazine in retaliation. Talk is partially owned by Miramax and is edited by former Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown.

Another source says animosity between Vanity Fair and Miramax is one reason the magazine is running embarrassing details about Miramax head Harvey Weinstein. In its July issue, Vanity Fair is running an article that describes the abusive behavior of some Hollywood bosses, and describes Weinstein's dirty laundry (literally) and says that Weinstein had one assistant repeat "Mantra-like", "I'm a dildo Harvey. I'm a dildo Harvey. I'M A DILDO HARVEY."

Neither Leibowitz nor Damon's spokesman had a comment. A Vanity Fair spokeswoman insists there's no feud, pointing out that Weinstein is only a small part of a larger story and that he "is legendary for being a tough boss." She adds, "If Matt Damon was upset, he wasn't upset for long. He was partying long and hard at a Vanity Fair party."

-

[Retrived from the Matt Damon Column. My gratitude to mattfleck.memes on TikTok for bringing this to my attention!]

[twwpress]

Weekly Press Briefing #70: October 22nd - October 28th

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from October 22 - October 28, 2023! Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing! 

Challenges/Prompts:

There are no open challenges/prompts that we know of this week. Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote or know of one we’re missing? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

This Week in Canon:

Welcome back to This Week in Canon, where we revisit moments in The West Wing that occurred on these dates during the show’s run.

Season 2, Episode 4: In This White House aired on October 25, 2000.

Season 3, Episode 3: Ways and Means aired on October 24, 2001.

Season 5, Episode 4: Han aired on October 22, 2003.

Season 6, Episode 2: The Birnam Wood aired on October 27, 2004.

Season 7, Episode 5: Here Today aired on October 23, 2005.

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from October 22 - October 28:

Amy Landecker posted photos of her and Brad’s new puppy, Angie: 1 | 2

Amy Landecker posted photos of her and husband Bradley Whitford with his The Handmaid’s Tale castmades Ever Carradine and Julie Dretzin at the Hudson Theatre, where Julie is appearing in Sea of Terror. Bradley Whitford posted one of these photos too. 

Amy Landecker posted a graphic promoting an upcoming Stories from the Front Line event in LA on November 2. 

Josh Malina posted a video of himself encouraging his fellow union members to stay SAG-AFTRA strong, as well as a version with captions. 

Josh Malina posted photos from a couple’s memorable wedding in celebration of their anniversary: 1 | 2 

Marlee Matlin posted photos from Family Weekend at UO, where her youngest daughter is a student. 

Marlee Matlin posted a video of Maine Governor Janet Mills hugging the ASL interpreter when speaking on CNN about the tragic mass shooting in Lewiston, Maine, in which multiple victims were members of the Deaf community. 

Marlee Matlin posted in memory of Matthew Perry.

Mary McCormack posted a photo of herself walking the SAG-AFTRA picket line with Mac Brandt. 

Peter James Smith posted a photo of himself on the SAG-AFTRA picket line with Greg Daniels. 

Rob Lowe posted a photo of himself and his son Johnny on the pickleball court. 

Donna Moss Daily: October 22 | October 23 | October 24 | October 25 | October 26 | October 27 | October 28

Daily Josh Lyman: October 22 | October 23 | October 24 | October 25 | October 26 | October 27 | October 28

No Context BWhit: October 22 | October 23 | October 24 | October 25 | October 26 | October 27 | October 28

@twwarchive: October 22 | October 23 | October 24 | October 25 | October 26 | October 27 | October 28

Miscellaneous:

On October 28th, beloved actor Matthew Perry passed away. In addition to being known around the world for playing Chandler Bing on Friends, TWW and Sorkinverse fans also know and love him for his roles as Joe Quincy, the Associate White House Counsel who replaces Ainsley Hayes, and Matt Albie on Studio 60. We are deeply saddened by this loss and are sending our love to his family, friends, and fans. 

Edits/Artwork:

#joshdonnamsr (taylor’s version)! by @hvnleia [VIDEO EDIT] #JOSHDONNA: i broke my own heart ‘cause you were too polite to do it by @JessBakesCakes [VIDEO EDIT]

Editors’ Choice: 

Trick or treat! To celebrate spooky season, we rounded up some of our favorite Halloween fics that weren’t in last year’s Halloween round-up. Stay in with these sweet (and mostly not-so scary) treats! 

Dead Man's Creek by LadyReisling for RisalSoran | Rated G | No Pairings Listed (Gen Fic) | Complete | No political operative in their right mind would be here four days before the election. But they all lived by the same credo: Let Bartlet be Bartlet. "Who said this is a good idea?" by msmarycrawley | Rated G | No Pairings Listed (Gen Fic) | Complete | The country’s best and brightest decorate the White House for Halloween. life and love are the same by jazzjo | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, C. J. Cregg/Andrea Wyatt/Toby Ziegler (implied) | Complete | As far as Josh knows, his baby girl has it all figured out. If things were different... by Khoshekh42 | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Sam Seaborn | Complete | Josh hands out candy on Halloween. He and Sam talk about their relationship. all dressed up by sam_writes_fics | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Ainsley Hayes/Sam Seaborn | Complete | Josh and Donna take their kids trick or treating. // Halloween fic set fifteen (ish) years post canon. Stuck in the Middle With You by blueteak for SuburbanSun | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | fter an hour stuck in the elevator on Halloween, senior staff suspected the reason they were still stuck there had something to do with Leo trying to teach them a lesson. White House elevators couldn't just get stuck like others, could they? tears and fears and feelin’ proud by jeaniecregg | Rated G | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | Complete | CJ drags Toby to a scary movie.

We will be reblogging this week's fics shortly!

[lithiumseven]

A Real Letter from our good friend Jonathan!

My copy of the book came in today!!!!!!

I’m so excited! Thank you editor Matt and everyone else who helped on this and who got it popular enough that this happened!

[unproblematicme]

Stories for Spooky Seasons

The Dark Side of the City

New Good Omens One-Shot (Human AU but supernatural elements)

There are monsters. They hide behind a human facade. That's why people cannot see them for what they are until it is too late. Most people. Crowley is not most people.

If you haven't read them or are in the mood for a Halloween appropiate re-read, you might want to check my GO Halloween stories from 2020 and 2021

Dark Literature

Anthony J. Crowley, part owner of a large publishing company, is not happy when his partners hire his ex-lover Aziraphale Fell as an editor. Aziraphale does not exactly find the situation ideal either, but he needs the job. The two former lovebirds have to set their problems with each other aside when something dark and old awakes in the building they work in.

Dark Water

Anthony J. Crowley lives the careless life of a rich man’s son. A jack of all trades, he has tried his hand in many jobs, but nothing could hold his interest for a long time. So it’s not unusual for him to take a new job because of a cute blonde guy who needs his help. Aziraphale Fell runs a Youtube Channel with his friends Anathema and Newt. When they need a new camera man, he accepts the offer of a handsome skeptic he meets at a party. Specialised in ghost hunting, Aziraphale has seen his fair share of strangeness. But things are about to get much stranger.

In case you are a Daredevil fan or want to dip your toes into something new, I'd be very happy if you checked out my current WiP (EDIT: now finished!)

Reflections

Matt inherits a house. Unbeknownst to him, his paternal grandfather‘s estate had never been claimed. With no other family member left, Matt is now the owner of an old house in a small town. Of course, Foggy offers to come with him and help as best as he can. But soon after arriving in Pleagrove, his hopeless crush on his best friend, is no longer Foggy‘s biggest problem.

Or maybe my Daredevil/Defenders Vampire story

Because the night belongs to us

The Defenders return from a less than successful mission. Not all of them are aware what they brought back with them.