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#my heart melted when he held my arm. got him two days ago. yesterday he's holding my arm purring and falling asleep like that. sweetie ;___;
drbtinglecannon · 10 months
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Ok we settled on a name, everyone meet Dustin, our goofy friendly slob.
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ennoshitas-princess · 6 months
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Bakery treats
Chikara Ennoshita x fem! chubby reader Warnings: cute overload (hopefully) Synopsis: You and Chikara are at a bakery on a date. He has a special surprise for you! Word Count: 1,087 This upload is post high school just like the Atsumu one shot (I'll link my two one shots below) I posted some days ago. Hopefully you will find it great! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
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You were looking outside the window from your room, awaiting for your boyfriend to get from getting the groceries. You knew he would be back shortly, but even the distance distressed you deep inside. You love him dearly and you meant it. Tick tock. Tick tock. Hearing the clock go by.
“I am back honey!” Called that oh so sweet voice you loved to hear.
“Chikara, welcome back! I'll help you bring the groceries inside.” You rushed down the stairs, greeting him with a peck on his cheek.
Of course, your boyfriend was such a gentleman so he denied your help very respectfully. You kept on insisting to help, and your cute chubby cheeks won his heart over to let you help.
“Oh, after we bring all the groceries in, I want to take you out on a date. How does that sound, my muffin?”
You smile at Chikara, staring into his dark, sleepy eyes. “Yes! I am already in nice clothes, so sure.”
You were so lucky to have him as your boyfriend.
The two of you enter a little cottage-like bakery, filled with lemony, sweet, cinnamon smells. You look at the stand where all the sugary delights were kept, trying to decide which one you wanted to eat. “Which one would you like to have? I will order it for you my dear.”
You were having a rough time trying to choose. “Which one are you picking?”
“This one.” He pointed at the pineapple pie.
You look at the ones beside the pie, only to see a strawberry shortcake staring back at you. Your mouth watered as you saw it. “Okay, I will have that one.”
He grabbed your squishy waist, and squeezed it a bit. “Okay then, I will go order. You find a place to sit.”
You find a nice spot by a window, illuminating the bakery with sunlight. The sun was setting with its pinky blue colors. The birds were still chirping, and you looked outside to see the trees dancing gently in the air. You remember when you and Chikara danced for the first time together back in your last year in high school. He invited you to a dance, and to this day it felt like yesterday.
You come back to reality when you hear your boyfriend heading towards where you sat. In his left hand he held your strawberry shortcake and in his right he held his pineapple pie. He placed the delicacies gently down on the wooden table. “Here you go princess.” He softly whispered.
Your cheeks tinted pink by his comment he made. He loved it when they got all cute and rosy, making them look rounder than they were already. He sat next to your plump body and wrapped his arm around your shoulder.
“Here, I'll feed you.”
“Chikara, I can-”
He grabbed the silverware and pecked at the fluffy sponge. He picked it up and he plopped it in your mouth. Your chubby cheeks got pink and were puffed up every so cutely at you munching the cake.
How the sponge melted inside your mouth like ice cream on a hot summer day. The strawberries blended the sweetness out so perfectly. The smooth cream literally made the whole thing come together. Just as you were lost in this candy land, Chikara grabbed a napkin and wiped your cheek.
“Let me wipe that down y/n. I don't want my princess to be messy.”
The sun glowed into the place, making Chikara an expensive jewel. He always seemed to treat you with gentleness and princely. You loved the way he would hug and squeeze your soft waist. He would lay onto your thighs and kiss every single little stretch mark of yours. He would find ways to compliment you, either physically or internally. He would do simple things like opening the door, or feeding you, like right now. He was the man you wanted in your life.
The two of you wrapped up your little desserts and got up. The bell jingled a happy tune as you exited. The sun tucked itself to bed as the moon glimmered and stars twinkled their eyes open. The cool night breeze passed both of you as you were walking to the park you had confessed to each other. He had a single dandelion in hand as a waterfall of love came out. You accepted his feelings as you kissed him under the same tree you were under at this very moment.
“I can't believe we have been together for five years already.” You looked up at the cloudless ocean above you two.
“Yeah, I can't believe it either. I thought when I was in college we would break up or something, but I am glad we didn't.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“It feels like yesterday you asked me to be your girlfriend. I never thought you liked me back because I was different from the girls at school.” You look at yourself, wishing you could change just for your boyfriend.
“Don't say that y/n. I love you because they are different. You don't judge people and you are literally the sweetest thing. What guy wouldn't want your cute chubby cheeks?” He pinched your soft cheeks.
“Hey!” You squish his back.
The two of you share a giggle until you see Chikara reaching into his pocket. You wonder what he was getting out. You see his phone and see he pressed record and placed it on the stump you sat on when he asked you out. He reached into his pocket again and pulled out a small pink leather box.
“Y/n, my princess. I meant it that any guy would want your cute chubby cheeks, well more like the whole you. Ever since we met in junior high, when we became friends, and asked you out, I thought you were gorgeous and absolutely a very lovely soul. My dear, will you be my lady forever?”
He opened the box to reveal a nice ring. It seemed he was taking his time and dedication onto finding the perfect ring. The jewel was a soft pink like of your cheeks. The band that would wrap around someone's finger was silver. It winked at you in the glittering moonlight.
“Chikara! Oh my… yes.”
The two of you lean in, closing up the gap between you two and your lips smash into on another as the phone was still recording this moment you two cherish in your loving hearts.
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Author's Note: hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. This made my heart melt so badly 🥺🥺🥺 like seriously it did.
Here is my Ushijima one shot
Here is my Atsumu one shot
Here is the first chapter of my Atsumu FF
Thank you for reading!
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All rights reserved copyright ©
ennoshitas-princess
Please DO NOT repost on any other platform!!
Reblogs are acceptable
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here and now | l. norris
pairing: lando norris x reader word count: 2.5k words request: yes/no, by an anon: "can you do a lando smut but next the fireplace on a snowy day?" prompt: letter r: relaxing & letter s: snow. from this christmas alphabet prompt list. warnings: smut. 18+ only. if you're under 18 you will be blocked. (i will put dividers before and after the explicit parts.) unprotected sex, dry humping, masturbation(?), creampie(???), angst, language. i don't like the way this turned out, i hate writing smut, why do i keep torturing myself?! 💀💀💀💀 a/n: day eighteen and nineteen! this is a mess and i'm so sorry. thank u to bestie @spideyanakin for proofreading.
my masterlist / christmas alphabet masterlist
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the second you realized you'd woken up, you frowned. there was too much light coming in through the curtains, your apartment felt different. you blinked a few times as you adjusted to the brightness of the room, you vividly remembered covering your window with the thick curtains that were now dancing with the slight breeze coming in.
you took the covers off your body, putting on your fluffy slippers as you got up and left your bedroom. you had your phone in hand, ready to call the emergency service in case someone had broken in. as you walked to the living room you noticed a suitcase next to the front door, an orange cap on the floor in front of it, and a black sweatshirt caught somewhere in between that mess.
you sighed, a small smile on your face as you realized who had come in while you were sleeping. you took quiet steps forward, peeking your head as you saw your boyfriend sitting on one of the stools by your kitchen island. you grinned at the sight of him leaning forward, eating your cereal as he watched something on his phone. you noticed that he was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, when he'd facetimed you as he was about to board his plane to travel back home.
your brain connected the dots, he'd come to you straight from the airport.
you felt your heart swell inside your chest, your stomach doing somersaults as you walked to him. he turned as he saw your shadow on the wall, a small smile on his face as he stood up and opened his arms.
you rushed to him, letting him engulf you in his strong arms as you inhaled his scent.
"i missed you so much," lando whispered as he pressed soft kisses on your neck. you hummed, letting your eyes flutter shut as you melted in his embrace.
"i missed you more. when did you get here?" you asked, your voice muffled from having your face pressed against his chest.
"like two hours ago," he said. "i didn't want to wake you, but i just... i had to see you," he explained, leaning his head back. you did the same, looking at his eyes, which seemed a bit more gray than usual.
"that's okay," you ran a hand through his curls. "let's go take a bath, you must be tired of wearing the same thing for so long," you ran your hands down his arms, clasping your fingers between his.
"i have- all my stuff's here, i haven't made it home yet," he scratched the back of his neck, you nodded.
"it's alright, we can go there later," you offered, but you noticed a sliver of sadness in lando's eyes as you mentioned it. "hey," you held his face in your hand, heart thumping as lando leaned into your touch. "we can stay here today, just the two of us. we've got a whole day ahead of us, to relax, sleep, whatever you want." you spoke slowly, softly. there was something going on with him, you just knew it, and you knew you had to treat him delicately until he felt ready to open up. "you're here, i'm here, that's all that matters, okay?" lando closed his eyes as he nuzzled his cheek against your hand, you moved closer, your free hand traveling up his arm and wrapping around his neck as you pulled him down.
his hands circled your waist, your back, pushing you flat against his chest as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.
you didn't talk much during the whole day. you knew lando needed you, you just didn't know why. but you tried your best.
he'd just come back from what was his best season in f1 yet, the results hadn't been as positive as he'd expected, dropping down to 6th place in the driver's standings on the last race, and you knew that was probably one of the reasons as to why he was as down as he was at that moment, so you didn't mention it during the whole day.
you laid on your bed with the blankets covering you two. you had your head on his chest as he played with your hair. you'd decided to marathon some of lando's favorite christmas movies to get in the festive mood and cheer him up. your eyes switched from the screen to his eyes every so often, looking at the permanent small frown on his forehead.
"hey," you whispered, looking up at him. he hummed in reply, "what's going on in here?" you asked, your hand moving his hair out of his face as you tapped the side of his temple.
"nothing," he mumbled, barely audible as he switched positions, laying sideways and turning your body until your back was against his chest, grabbing the remote and turning the volume up.
"lando," you whispered, turning your head.
"nothing, (y/n). please, i just... i don't want to talk about it, please." he said, eyes glued to the screen in front of him. you grabbed the remote from his hand and turned the tv off, removing his arms from your waist. he grunted, dropping his back on the bed.
"hey, it's okay to feel frustrated, angry, annoyed, or whatever you're feeling right now. but remember that you don't have to bottle everything up, i am here for you, i want to listen to what you're thinking, i want to comfort you when i can." you spoke softly, throwing one leg over his torso, straddling him. "but first, i have to know what's going on. i'm not pressuring to tell me anything right now. take your time to figure out how you're feeling, write it down or yell it at the world, but please, don't keep it to yourself."
"i'm here and i'm not going anywhere." you let him circle his arms around your waist. "i'm here whenever you're ready. just, promise me, we'll talk about it, okay?" you nodded, encouraging him to do the same.
you let out a breath once he did, his eyes sad, the glimmer in his eyes was gone. it broke your heart to see him like this. you placed your lips on his forehead, kissing repeatedly between his eyebrows, erasing that frown on his face. he scrunched his eyebrows as a smile escaped his lips.
"stop frowning," you said as you held his face firmly between your hands.
"you're tickling me!" he said as a short laugh left his chest. you removed your hands from his face, traveling down to his sides as you poked him and tickled him, feeling as he squirmed underneath you.
you played like that for a few minutes, giggles leaving your lips as he tried to tickle you as well, but you had the upper hand. you grabbed his wrists and pulled them above his head, holding them down with one hand.
"i like you on top," he said, making you laugh.
"i'm sure you do." you rolled your eyes as you smiled at him. you stayed silent for a few seconds, looking into the other's eyes as your grins slowly fell into soft smiles.
"i'm too hard on myself," lando broke the silence, you looked down at him. "i- all season i-" he sighed, shaking his head. you freed his arms, feeling his fingers on your thighs and waist instantly.
"it's okay, take your time. i'm right here, i'm not going anywhere," you said, leaning your body down, feeling his arms pushing you against his chest, squeezing tight.
he spoke about his insecurities, about what he expected from himself and how disappointed he was that he couldn't reach them. you listened, caressed his face, laced your fingers between his, played with his hair. every small touch reminded him that he wasn't alone, that you were there for him every step of the way. including the days when he wasn't feeling like himself.
you couldn't sleep that night, your heart ached as you thought about how his career sometimes wasn't as kind to him as you'd like. but he loved it, and nothing would ever change that.
you witnessed the first snowflakes falling from the sky. glistening like shiny lights as they fell. the first fall of snow of the year felt like a gift for you, you knew how much lando loved the snow, how happy it made him, it reminded him of the days when school got canceled and he got to stay home and play all day outside with his siblings.
the next day was better. lando still kept to himself at times, but you quickly directed his attention to something else. you spent the morning in your apartment, laying lazily on the couch, recovering from the emotionally draining day that was yesterday.
you decided to spend the night at lando's, you held his hand as you drove the two of you to his place. lando kept gazing out the window, mesmerized by the sudden white layer that covered everything. as you walked into his home you noticed him tensing as he saw everything that reminded him of racing, all his old helmets, pictures, scale models of cars.
you dragged him upstairs before his mind started racing.
"put on your winter clothes, we're playing in the snow," you stated, walking to his closet and taking out a beanie and gloves for him. lando gave you a small smile, leaning down so you could put on his hat as he zipped up his jacket.
your snowman was perfect, you put on a cap, scarf, rocks as a face and sticks for arms. you were adjusting the sticks when you felt something hard hit your back, you stumbled forward, looking back at lando, who had a huge grin on his face, a snowball on his hand.
"what the hell?" you laughed, your hands on your waist as you leaned your weight on one leg. lando just shrugged, switching the snowball from one hand to the other. "you're on," you said as you leaned down and gathered as much snow as you could, using the snowman as a shield.
as the minutes ticked by, you found yourself with snow under your shirt, melting down your back. you held lando close to you, one arm around his back, holding a snowball, as you took off his beanie and smashed it on his head.
you both laughed at the silliness of it all, your heart swelling as you heard his joyous laughter, he was back.
you held his freezing face in your equally icy hands, planting a soft kiss on his lips. his hands were on your waist, and they traveled up your sides as you slipped your fingers in his hair.
despite the freezing cold out, your bodies felt on fire, your legs moved on their own accord as your lips never left his, his hands traveled down, grabbing the back of your thighs as you jumped up, circling his waist with your legs. you hummed into the kiss as he began walking.
you laughed as he kept knocking things off, stumbling on furniture. you gasped when your back hit the cushions of the sofa, lando falling on top of you.
your breaths were heavy as you looked into his eyes, you moved his hair away from his face, scanning his bright, clear eyes that reflected the fire going on next to you, helping you warm up. you let your eyes speak for you, a silent pact that you both agreed on.
-------------(smut starts here)------------
layers of clothes disappeared, the melted snow made you feel shivers as lando ran his fingers against your skin, his fingers warming your freezing skin with each touch. you wrapped your arms around his, gathering as much strength as you could and flipping you two around, you were now on top, just like the night before.
there was a fire in his eyes as he didn't fight you, you held his arms above his head, you leaned down, your lace-covered breasts hitting his chest. he sighed as you kissed his lips, pulling his lower lip between your teeth. your hands traveled down his chest, nails leaving a trail of harsh red lines on his skin. his hands met the skin of your waist, moving your hips in a slow rhythm against his crotch, a wet spot transferring from your heat, through your lace panties and to his boxers. the friction felt heavenly, you'd missed his touch so much the past few weeks. your hips moved faster, the soft whimpers that left his lips were fuel for you, the way his fingers were gripping at your skin grounded you to this moment.
"fuck," he said, throwing his head back as he raised his hips, making you gasp as he hit your bundle of nerves perfectly.
"oh, my god," your hips moved faster. back and forth on his hardening length as you closed your eyes, your mouth agape as you felt your stomach tightening. "please, please," you muttered, mind hazy as you chased your release. one of lando's hands left your waist, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you down, crashing your lips against his in a mess of moans, grunts, teeth and tongues.
"yes, god," you mewled, feeling the air leaving your lungs as you finally reached that sweet release you'd been craving. "are you-" you asked, lando nodding frantically. "in me," you said, watching his eyes widening. you nodded in encouragement. "cum in me, please." you pleaded.
"fuck, baby," he kissed your lips as you pulled his boxers down, your hand around his length, pumping a few times as he hissed. "i'm not- i wont... last too long, fuck," he leaned in, watching as you moved your lace underwear to the side. he slipped inside easily, your walls fluttering around him, welcoming him in your warm, wet heat as he helped you up and down slowly. "fuck, you're perfect," he grunted, his fingers playing with your small nub and you swore you felt him hardening inside you as more whimpers left your lips, feeling a new orgasm building up.
"baby, please, i need- need you," you whispered on top of his lips, your soft whines and moans encouraging him, he moved faster, rougher. you squeezed your eyes shut until you saw starts, the sensations too much in so little time. all of a sudden, his hips stilled, you felt his warm release inside you, triggering your own orgasm.
-------------(smut ends here)------------
you dropped down on his chest, too consumed by him to even think straight. you were drifting off to sleep, lando's fingers in your hair and rubbing your back up and down helped you relax.
"darling, i need to turn off the fireplace," lando whispered in your ear, you grunted.
"leave it like that," you said as you closed your eyes, snuggling closer to him as you held the blanket tighter around your bodies.
"i can't do that, my love. the whole place might burn down," he chuckled.
"i don't care. we can live at my place," you mumbled as you finally let sleep consume you. lando smiled, looking at your sleeping frame.
he thanked whatever being brought you to him, whatever accident that made your paths cross, he felt lucky, privileged to have you by his side. only you could help him relax after the most stressful weeks of his life, only you could turn a simple snowstorm into a marvelous moment.
the fire cracking lulled him to sleep, your weight on top of him was the warmest embrace, not even a hundred fires could compare to how warm you made him feel inside.
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messers-moony · 3 years
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Divorce | J.P
Paring: James Potter X Slytherin!Reader
Summary: Reader goes through divorce with her arranged husband but sees her Hogwarts crush almost two years later at her Potions shop in Diagon Alley
Divorce sucks. There is no other way to say it. There is no amount of sugar to properly coat the words to make them seem better than they are. Instead, they’re pure salt– pure acidity. An arranged marriage for purebloods was typical. That doesn’t mean that everyone technically agrees they work. Some speculate that arranged marriages work more than chosen marriages. Y/n wouldn’t be one of those people.
Her family was a part of the sacred twenty-nine. The L/n’s, to be more specific. Y/n was a model child, an only child at that. She was sorted into Slytherin with not a consideration of any other house. Immediately at the age of sixteen, she was engaged to another man called Zenix Flores, another family of the sacred twenty-eight. Zenix was sweet, but he wasn’t her type.
Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Y/n stared at another. His name was James Potter. A star Quidditch player for the Gryffindor team. The best Chaser. Y/n’s lingering stares and dreamy look didn’t make it past Zenix. Fortunately, Zenix had eyes for another as well, Sirius Black, the best friend of James Potter. They bonded over that. They bonded over being in love with people they couldn’t have.
Everyone dies eventually. Immortality is not reality, and once Y/n’s parents died. Divorce was in order. However, they didn’t love each other like they should’ve it still sucked. They were close friends. But did close friends have a child together? Leo Flores, the product of Y/n Flores and Zenix Flores, was only eight years old when they went through the divorce. Leo was a token to show that Zenix and Y/n fell in love. An illusion.
It took months, but after the process was complete, Y/n left. Leo was to be in her care for the rest of his life. Zenix would send some of his profit to them to help, but he would never see his son again. Granted, he didn’t treat Leo well. Always so harsh, so strict on the little boy. The first words out of Leo’s mouth were ma’am and sir. Not momma or daddy. Instead, they were formalities.
They lived in an apartment in Diagon Alley. It wasn’t huge, but it was enough. Y/n changed her last name, and Leo’s back to L/n. Another long process but worth the wait. Y/n worked at a Potions shop in the Alley. Sometimes her old friend Severus would visit and buy some ingredients, but no one else she knew ever came into the shop. Not until he showed up at the door.
James Potter came waltzing into the Potions shop like it was nobody’s business. Unknown to the woman working the shop, he had been watching her work from afar. Just across the street was a bookstore where Remus would visit. During one of those visits, James caught sight of her. Granted, James didn’t think he’d find love after Lily ran away after his proposal claiming he wasn’t enough but that all changed when he saw her.
The feelings came back like it was yesterday she was gazing at him from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Y/n’s cheeks were set ablaze, and her stomach was placed into a frenzy of a million different feelings. Her heart made it seem like she ran around the Quidditch pitch one thousand times. Unbeknownst to her, he felt the same way.
Eventually, he made his way to the counter, “ Um- Good Afternoon. “
“ Good afternoon, sir. How may I assist you today? “ Y/n asked despite her racing heart, “ I need some help brewing a complex Potion. “ James confessed, fiddling with his hands.
“ What Potion, sir? “ Y/n inquired, “ Wolfsbane. “ James answered.
Her eyebrow quirked upward, “ That is a difficult Potion. It could have awful defects if made incorrectly. “ Y/n explained, looking at the ingredient list, “ How about this, I’ll make you the Potion instead of you possibly messing it up? “
“ How can I trust you won’t mess up? “ James questioned, smirking teasingly, “ Well. If it helps any, I received O’s on all of my Potion examinations, even in N.E.W.T level. “ Y/n quipped.
“ Well. I suppose you know your stuff. “ He replied as he crossed his arms, “ I suppose I do. “ Y/n retorted with a smile.
So James decided that she’d make the Potion. He would’ve paid her a million Galleons if he was just allowed to sit in the shop and stare at her. She was a beauty and moved so gorgeously. She moved with a purpose, with determination and ambition. Sirius and Remus had begun teasing him as James stared longingly at the Potions shop across the street.
“ Do you know her name? “ Remus asked, standing beside James now, “ No? “ James stated.
Remus chuckled; of course, he didn’t, “ Y/n L/n. She was a Slytherin in our year. Amazingly brilliant she is. Apparently, she was married to Zenix Flores but got divorced two years ago. “
James and Sirius stared gobsmacked, “ Did you stalk Prongs’ future wife? “ Sirius accused, and Remus shrugged, “ I was curious. Plus, I knew her at Hogwarts. She was a Prefect. We had a lot of rounds together. “
“ She was a Prefect? “ James queried, “ Mhm. You were too busy drooling at Lily to notice her. “ Remus nodded.
Now James felt incredibly stupid. All those pranks on the Slytherin house made him feel exceptionally stupid, knowing that she could’ve caught the backlash on some of them. Not only that, but she was a part of the sacred twenty-eight. James had never felt more idiotic, and he had gotten rejected after proposing to his girlfriend. That was saying something.
A month had passed, and the potion was ready. So once again, James walked into the Potions shop. This time she had a messy top knot present on top of her hair. Her eyes held extreme tiredness, and she moved almost sluggishly. James was worried. But Y/n saw him enter the shop and her cheerful smile glazed her face. Two bottles were now present on the counter for James to take.
He stood at the counter and pressed ten Galleons on the table, “ Sir, they’re only three Galleons. “ Y/n stated, “ Take the extra. You look exhausted. “ James replied.
“ Th- Thank you. “ Y/n smiled, “ Thank you, Y/n, for making these. “ James said gratefully.
Y/n blushed, “ I- Um- You were a Slytherin Prefect in my year at Hogwarts. “ James stammered, “ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you before. “
“ It’s okay. Divorce can do that to you, Huh? “ Y/n laughed bitterly, “ Well, when I proposed to Lily, she straight up told me I wasn’t good enough so, that was almost like divorce minus the paperwork. “ James added.
“ I’m- I’m so sorry. “ Y/n apologized, “ No, no. I’m okay, trust me. It’s been about three years. “ James replied.
Before Y/n could speak again, steps were heard from the second story, “ Mom! Mom! “ Leo’s voice called as he rushed down the steps.
“ Mom! “ Leo appeared from behind the counter to see James and a blushing Y/n, “ Oops, uh, sorry, mom. “
“ No, it’s fine. Come here. “ James beckoned, and Leo hesitantly approached, “ What’s your name, little man? “
“ I’m ten! “ Leo announced proudly, and James chuckled, “ That’s awesome! “ James smiled.
Y/n turned to her son, “ What did you need, Leo? “ Despite being embarrassed, she was calm, “ You accidentally placed my quills on a high shelf. I can't reach them. “ Leo confessed, slightly embarrassed.
“ I’ll be up in just a second, but- “ Y/n began, but James stuck out his hand, “ I’m James. “
“ I’m Leo. “ Leo accepted the handshake and smiled at the adult man, “ If your mom doesn’t mind, maybe we could chat? “ James inquired, looking toward Y/n.
Leo looked hopeful at his mom, “ Please? “
“ Sure. You can go. “ Y/n allowed, and Leo hopped over the counter.
Before James could leave the proximity of the counter, Y/n grabbed his wrist, “ Please. Take care of him; I'm trusting you blindly here. “ She pleaded, and James smirked, “ Of course. “
The rest of the day went smoothly. Y/n had closed shop and began restocking items when they showed up. James' unkempt brown hair was more unorganized, but his hazel eyes glassed with mischief. Leo’s black hair was blown away from the rain, and his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. James beckoned the ten-year-old back upstairs while he approached Y/n.
“ So? Have a nice day with my kid? “ Y/n teased, and James chuckled, “ He’s fantastic. “
“ I know. “ She replied, “ I took him for ice cream, and we went shopping for a little. “ James informed.
Y/n melted at the adoration present on James' face, “ Do you need any money back? I can- “
“ No. Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ve got it covered. “ James interjected, “ I just saw him, and he had this look. He looked trapped. He needed to leave and just let loose for a couple of hours. “
“ I- I really love him. “ James confessed, and Y/n smirked, “ You’re in love with my son but not the woman who created him? “
“ If we're being honest. I’ve been watching you from the bookstore across the street. I thought you were gorgeous. Remus was the one who told me who you were. “ He admitted nervously, “ But being with your son today. If you’d like, could I take him out more often? “
She stepped down from the ladder and stood in front of him, “ How about you stay forever? “
“ I- I mean that is if you want. I know that I’m a pureblood, and- and my son- you probably don’t want to have a child right now. He’ll be going to Hogwarts soon, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. But- But his former father wasn’t amazing, and I’m not sure you want that responsibility- “
Y/n was cut off when James grabbed her by the waist and placed his lips on hers. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her skin through her shirt. Y/n’s hands went through his unkept brown tuffs and his glasses slightly fogged from the heat of the kiss. They pulled apart but rested their foreheads on each other. They were still somewhat breathless from the soft kiss.
He held her chin in his hand, “ I’d love nothing more than to stay forever. “
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s-brant · 3 years
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Angels Roll Their Eyes (2/2)
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(gif: @toesure) (PART ONE)
Summary: Hurricane Agatha approaches Kildare Island during the aftermath of the eventful Fourth of July party. JJ and Y/N are determined to continue avoiding each other after what happened at the party, but John B has other plans for them.
Warnings: Smut, strong language, angst, implied physical abuse, depictions of anxiety/panic attacks, and sickeningly sweet fluff.
Word Count: 24k
A/N: Here we goooo! To celebrate the trailer dropping today, here’s part two to Devils Roll The Dice. If you haven’t read the first part, I suggest you read it and come back so this makes sense. This one has all the drama and spice, so buckle up! Thank you for the love and support on the first part. Let me know if you enjoyed this and have fun, cause I had a blast writing it.
Hurricane Agatha.
It was the first thing she heard about as soon as she woke up yesterday to the sound of her phone blaring with an obnoxious tone that reminds her of waking up too early in the morning for work or school.
Her sleepy eyes couldn't make out who was calling, so she pressed the button to answer and lifted the phone to hear her mom's voice squawking through the speaker at her about the hurricane projected to hit the island in the middle of the night tonight.
The problem is, her parents are out of town this week, leaving her all alone to prep the house and endure the storm alone. And for someone who flinches whenever she thinks she hears the sound of thunder in the sky, that is the worst it can get.
It's a fear her friends are conscious of. One time when they were out on the HMS Pogue, a quick summer storm started to drift overhead and it took all of her self control to not fall into a blind panic when thunder began to rumble above. John B was already steering them back in the direction of the Chateau but she knew it would do nothing to calm her nerves until she was back inside of the house.
The anxiety was starting to become too overwhelming when JJ sat down beside her and threw his arm over her shoulder. It was their first month of knowing one another, so the casual friendly gesture made her jump at first and turn her head to look at him, but he acted like everything was normal.
The next person to notice was John B. With JJ currently out of commission, the only person she thought to call to help her prep the house for the incoming storm was him. Since they never got hurricanes up where she used to live her whole life, she needed someone who's been through a couple to help her while her parents weren't home.
That's how she ended up here. Sweating bullets in the front yard of her house as she unloads the contents of the van with John B was not how she envisioned her Saturday night to go, but she's glad she has someone who's willing to help.
In the past five months of being with the Pogues, she's learned that it's lovely to have friends. She never used to have any before she moved, so in situations like this or when she got so drunk at the party, she never would've had anyone to be there for her. It's quiet moments of kindness and companionship like this that make her realize how much better life has been on the other side of uprooting everything to move here—self-inflicted boy drama and all.
The sandbag on her shoulder sends a growing ache through her back muscles with every step she takes to follow him up the length of unpaved dirt path up to her front door. As usual, he makes it look way easier than it is, and it almost makes her want to laugh at how different they are.
Most of her new friends are effortless, naturally picking up anything they decide to try at while she is inept by comparison. It's part of what attracted her to JJ in the first place. He may have his insecurities the same way every other individual does, but in her eyes, he has nothing to be insecure of. Even when he wipes out on a wave and appears out of the water with sand clumped in his salt-kissed strands of blonde hair, he manages to make it look cool.
"What are you smiling about?"
John B's laughter makes her look up from where she concentrated on the dirt path to see him looking back at her. He stands at the entrance to her house with the rest of the sandbags they carried up placed meticulously in front of the door to prevent water from entering the house. They did the same thing with the back door an hour ago.
Is she smiling? She hadn't even realized her expression changed from one of exhaustion and fear at the dark clouds closing in above to a grin, so her face instantly drops in guilt. After running out on JJ for the second time two days ago to go to work, any mention of him from their friends has left her drowning in shame.
She can't recall the bulk of her memories from the night of the Fourth of July party, but she fills in the gaps between those flashes of memory with what their friends told her about it.
Thanks to her overindulgence, there are holes poked in the fabric of her memory.
It jumps from her last fully sober moment of seeing JJ across the room with the kook girl to dancing clumsily with Kie to the floral scent of her makeup wipes that she can't attach a specific visual image to.
Then, she can remember waking up with a start in the middle of the night to throw up in a pot beside the bed while he held back her hair. Before John B explained it, she was quite confused after waking up about how she somehow got from being jealous over JJ flirting with another girl to waking up in the same bed as him.
She grunts as she plops the last sandbag down into place and decides to take a seat on the steps leading up to the door.
"It wasn't anything special," Y/N says and watches him come down to sit next to her, "I was just thinking about taking something so I can pass out and avoid having a panic attack over this stupid storm."
Unlike JJ, she isn't that skilled of a liar. It's obvious to anyone who knows her well when she does it based on the way her eye contact begins to drift away and her voice raises in pitch when she speaks. She's too honest with her friends to handle keeping secrets from them, which is why it's been so difficult for her with everything that has happened recently. Not only does she lie to the Pogues, she also avoids them by association in the process of trying to avoid JJ.
Regardless of how obvious her bluffing is, John B doesn't call her out on it. Instead, he focuses on a different part of what she said.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay alone? I know your parents are out of town till next week..." he trails off into concerned silence.
The tip of her sneaker hangs off of the edge of the bottom step and absentmindedly digs a line into the dirt as she takes in his question.
Being alone when she's prone to panicking is a recipe for disaster. Anxiety and loneliness have a relationship similar to that of a weapon and ammunition. It takes very little for her to fall down the rabbit hole of obsessive thinking and break down into a hyperventilating, fearful mess, especially when no one else is there to tug her out of those dark thoughts.
Most of the time, the people who help her with that are her parents. If they're home during one of these episodes, she'll come stumbling downstairs to them from her room for help, and they'll do everything they can to bring her down from hysterics. Her friends, on the other hand, have yet to witness her have one of those moments.
"Having people with me helps, you know? But it is what it is, I'll just try to cope the best I can and hope for the best."
He nods, and though he's a portrait of understanding, she wonders if he finds it as juvenile and stupid as she does.
Logically, she knows that this anxiety is something many people experience. She understands that it's something that is mostly out of her control but can't help but tear herself apart over it.
She thinks to herself, What kind of weirdo can't sit inside during a thunderstorm or hurricane without losing their shit? Why am I not the one in control of my own mind when this happens?
Do her friends think similar things? Do they think it's as pathetic as she does, or is she just paranoid that they pick her flaws apart as much as she does? And, of course, she wonders what JJ would think if he saw her panic like that. He may have seen her start to become anxious on the HMS Pogue, but he hasn't seen her panic panic before, not in the way that her parents have, and she wonders if he'd think less of her for it.
Right when she's about to change the topic and steer him away from a chance to think of how ridiculous she's being about the approaching hurricane, he says something that makes her look back over at him.
"Then come spend the night at the Chateau. I can distract you. We can play board games and shit."
"Really?" she asks.
The idea of anyone wanting to waste an entire night playing board games and possibly signing themselves up for having to talk her down from a panic attack makes her heart melt.
"Yeah, why not? You need a friend tonight. You know any of us would do anything for you. You're like my little sister, dude, we'd all probably hack off a limb if we thought it'd help you. Especially JJ."
John B's last second name-drop is designed specifically for where he wants this conversation to go. Underneath the need to get his friends back to normal, he does feel a little guilty for having to do this. She thinks he's only offering to let her stay with him to help her—and he is, even if there weren't a rift between her and JJ, he'd still offer—but he has a different reason.
"Right," she says softly. "Speaking of which...is he gonna be there tonight?"
With how often he escapes his house to spend a night or two in temporary safety at the Chateau, it's not an unfounded assumption. He and John B spend more time together than any of them because of this, and when she goes over to hang out, she knows that he and JJ often come as a package deal.
He tries to play it cool and not give up anything that could make her suspicious of him, looking off at the van parked in the driveway as he takes a second to collect his thoughts. It's never easy for him to deceive people he cares about, even if it's for their own good. It wasn't easy when he invited JJ to spend the night a few hours ago with the knowledge that he'd soon invite Y/N too either, but he managed.
As always, Pope is the brains behind this operation. He was the one to suggest inviting them both over to wait out Agatha together when the three of them put their heads together to come up with a solution to their oblivious friends' drama. After JJ stormed out of the house the morning after the party, they knew they had to do something about it. This was what it came to.
"Nah. I offered but he said he's staying at home until this whole thing blows over."
He isn't sure why she buys into it.
She knows JJ well enough to know that he would literally rather eat glass than be trapped in a confined space with his dad for an entire day. Perhaps it's only because it's what she wants to believe. She wants to believe that she won't have to see him again tonight after everything that happened. How can she handle having to tell him why got so drunk that night and made an ass of herself? She can't bear to tell him all of that unnecessary drama started because she was jealous.
What right does she have to feel that way? He isn't hers. They aren't together, and she thinks it's quite obvious that he doesn't want a relationship out of whatever it is they have together. It was one night. She has no right to be mad at him for flirting with other girls because of it.
"Then I'll definitely be taking you up on that offer. Thank you," she says.
The old wooden stairs make a squealing sound when she stands to make her way inside to gather her things for the night, but the feeling of a warm hand gripping her forearm stops her mid-step. Her eyes follow down the length of her arm back to where he sits, glancing at her with this knowing look in his eyes that makes her want to turn and hide.
"When are you gonna talk things out with him, Y/N?" he asks. "He misses you."
Since the party, no one has had the courage to burst her bubble of pretending not to care until now, but now that someone has, all of her bottled up emotions stir inside of her at a simple concept she hadn't considered yet.
JJ misses her.
For the first time since they began this stupid game of cat and mouse, she is confronted with how desperately she misses him back. So consumed with the task of concealing everything that happened and trying to avoid him, she hadn't acknowledged that all she ever really wants is to be with him lately.
She misses his jokes and the way he looks at her when she giggles at them. She misses his smile when they play fight on the HMS Pogue. She even misses when he dangles her over the edge of the boat as a means to end the wrestling match, making her squirm in his strong hold as he threatens to toss her overboard.
But what she misses most of all is how he never lets her fall in. It's something about the way he looks at her as he pulls her back onboard, how time itself seems to stop in the moment between when he's still holding her and when she feels her feet touch the deck again.
Then, they'll suddenly want nothing to do with each other for the next half hour.
JJ will make himself busy forgetting the way her hands felt holding onto his shoulders for dear life, burning the memory of her palm prints into his skin for the next few hours. And she'll try her hardest to forget that charming smile and the feeling of his arms around her. But it won't work, not really, and when they're both laying down to sleep at night, they'll have one thing keeping them awake.
She takes a second to internalize what he said and avoid exposing the effect it has on her to hear it before asking, "Did he tell you that?"
The sky overhead grows darker and darker by the second, but she has yet to notice it due to the topic of their conversation. With JJ involved, her attention shrinks to a tunnel leading only to him. There's no room for anything else but the audacious idea planted in the back of her mind that he might miss her as much as she misses him.
"No, he didn't," John B admits, and right when she's about to say more in response, he cuts her off, "but hear me out. I've known him since we were kids, so I can tell when things aren't right with him, and ever since your relationship with him got complicated, I picked up on some weird vibes."
Y/N doesn't give anything away with how she reacts. He can't tell if she's about to bolt like JJ did or stay to talk and open up to him. All she does is cross her arms over her chest and lean back against the railing.
"Weird in what way?"
"Weird in a way that makes me think you two have to talk it out before you ruin your friendship. I've never seen him act this way over a girl."
That doesn't surprise her. He has a reputation for chasing after any girl available to him, something the Pogues have gently teased him about, and it factors into why she doesn't want to have this dreaded conversation with him. She doesn't want to sit there and listen to him tell her that she was just another one of those girls to him.
Going for broke and being honest about what he thinks of their situation is a better strategy for trying to get her to talk to JJ than the other way around. John B can look back on what happened the morning after the party and see where they went wrong in their approach of trying to get him to talk, but she's less unpredictable and turbulent than he is. The fact that she's hearing him out is enough proof of their differences.
She sighs.
"I know we need to talk sooner or later, but it's hard, you know? I'm so embarrassed of how everything went down at the party, even though I was too fucked up to remember most of it, and I just—" There's a brief second that lapses between when she stops and when she starts again where he can almost see her working through it in her head. "I don't wanna get hurt."
John B's face falls at the mention of the party and her feelings surrounding it.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed of. You drank too much but who cares? The only person who should be embarrassed about that night is the guy that tried to take advantage of you."
That part is the most fuzzy in her mind.
She can remember what led up to it and the moment she saw JJ pull him away from her, but she can't remember anything about the interaction itself. It wasn't as if he did anything to her—not yet—but the thought of it alone makes her skin crawl because she's seen that before. She's been the JJ in that situation, pulling a wasted Touron away from someone who thought nobody would be looking out for other people at the party, and she knows how quickly those situations can escalate past "harmless" flirting.
The sound of JJ shouting at Tyler echoes in her mind as she reaches for any remaining memories left from the party. He said it right after he punched him, when he was starting to rush forward to follow him onto the ground and pin him there.
"If I see you near my girl again, you're fucking dead! You got that?"
She doesn't remember realizing that he called her that at the moment. She was confused and upset and all she wanted to do was stop him from getting himself in trouble, so she pulled him away from hitting Tyler again without realizing what he said. And even now, she tries to avoid acknowledging it. She reasons with herself, telling herself that he was pissed off and didn't mean it, because if he did, why hasn't he told her how he feels yet?
Y/N looks up and sees how dark the converging clouds have gotten in the time since they began working on prepping the house for the hurricane, so her next words are shakier than usual.
"I guess you're right." She pushes off of her spot against the railing. "But can we not talk about JJ tonight? I kind of wanna hang out and forget about the rest of the stuff I've got going on right now."
This makes him feel a pang of guilt inside of him for the ulterior motive he's kept hidden from her for the duration of the conversation, but he knows it's for the best. Even if her and JJ's inevitable conversation goes in the wrong direction and they don't end up mending fences, it's better that they let it out sooner than later. If they wait any longer, it'll make it worse, and he knows that they're stubborn enough to keep this childish game going for another week or so.
So, he keeps her in the dark for now and offers a kind, "Sure, that's cool with me," despite knowing how messy the night will soon become.
A smile pokes at the edges of her mouth, making the sides of her eyes crinkle, and she extends a hand to help him up from where he sits.
"Now," she says as they make their way inside the house for her to pack a bag, "are you ready to get absolutely crushed in Monopoly?"
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It started to rain before they left her house, and by the time they pull into the driveway of the Chateau, it's pouring down on them with violent winds whipping droplets at their faces hard enough to hurt.
The rapid pace of her pulse beats with such an intensity, she can feel it in her head. They shouldn't have taken so much time at her place before heading over here. While she was packing, they talked and dilly-dallied the whole time, and now they pay the price for it.
If she knew that it would start this soon into the night, she probably would've hurried things along sooner, but it's too late. She's already starting to feel that tightness in her chest and each breath of air feels less satisfying with every inhale. It's not so bad that she loses complete control of herself, but it's getting there, and she can't express how badly she doesn't want to lose her shit in front of John B.
The passenger side door is slammed shut by the force of the wind behind her, the noise becoming swallowed up in the rest of the budding storm, and she stifles a sound of surprise that escapes her in reaction to it. They're lucky they made it here in the first place. Any later in the night and they probably would've had to take refuge at her place until it blew over.
She decides to focus on how the edges of her white sneakers are swallowed up by the muddy earth on her way through the front yard to distract herself. It stains them a deep brown color and simultaneously washes them clean from the rain coming down from above, which she'd probably be annoyed about if she weren't such a nervous wreck. But, because she's too busy keeping her backpack raised over her head to shield herself from the rain on her way up to the front door, it's not high up on her list of priorities.
Since both the screen door and the door behind it are unlocked, she doesn't hesitate to come bursting into the house as she usually does.
Y/N lets out a deep breath, feeling that telltale tension in her chest and shoulders, and laughs at the sight of John B running in as she kicks off her shoes. His t-shirt is speckled with rainwater, and his hair is saturated enough with it to stick to the sides of his face after he crosses the threshold into the Chateau.
The sound of her laughter makes JJ's heart stop from where he stands in the kitchen.
"There was an umbrella right on the dashboard, why didn't you take—"
Her heart might as well have stopped just as abruptly as the sentence she was in the middle of saying when she turned and saw him standing there.
Maybe they're both a tad too dramatic, but it takes a full few seconds for them to stop staring at each other in surprise. He looks like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide with surprise like he was caught doing something he shouldn't even though all he was doing was grabbing a beer from the fridge.
It's been two days since they last saw each other. For him, the last glimpse he got of her was when he peeked through the blinds to see her pedaling away on her bike to go to work, but hers was somewhat different.
The last time she saw him, he was asleep. Their legs were tangled together underneath the sheets and his face was smushed against her chest, allowing her to feel the soft puffs of his exhales on her skin every few seconds. It's a wonder that she managed to slip away unnoticed once she remembered she had work that morning. He was holding her closely, so closely that she found it hard to discern where she ended and he began in the dazed, hungover headspace she woke up in.
It's when the conversation she had with John B on the front steps of her house comes back to the forefront of her mind that she puts together what's happening right now. Now that they're here, it's far too late to leave. With how aggressively the wind and rain batter the area surrounding the house, it's obvious that they're not going anywhere.
It seems to click with them at the same time, because JJ turns to look at him only a half second after she does.
Y/N says, completely serious, "If you did what I think you did, I'm gonna kill you."
Before either of them can think of doing anything, John B shoots out from the doorway and runs past her in the direction of the hallway where his bedroom is.
"Gotta catch me first!"
They both chase him, JJ hopping over the back of the couch to run after him, but they end up coming to a screeching halt at the shut door right when they hear the lock turn and click.
Neither of them knows what they were planning to do when they caught him, cause it isn't like they'd hurt him, but they bang on the door nonetheless. The sound is drowned out by the sound of the wind and rain pounding the outside walls of the house, picking up speed, and for a second she wants to kick the door open.
She shouts, "John B! Open this door!"
The last thing she wanted tonight was to be trapped in a house with the one person she didn't want to see. Doesn't John B realize how embarrassing it is for her to be around him when she knows that he's gonna reject her? He may have said something about JJ never acting so weird over a girl before, but he's wrong. There's no way JJ actually wants her...right?
"I can't hear you, this storm's kinda loud!" he yells back at them through the locked door. "Maybe try again later!"
Neither of them wants to acknowledge the other. In fact, they don't even want to look at each other right now, so all they can do to stop themselves from acknowledging the elephant in the room is continue trying to get answers out of John B. What does he think that locking them together in the Chateau for the night will accomplish other than make them ignore their own drama and team up to plot their revenge on him?
Though he's significantly less angry than she is, JJ pulls the doorknob enough to make the door whine on its hinges and pleads with their friend, "This isn't funny, John B. Open the door."
"Not until you guys stop being immature and talk to each other."
She furrows her brows at him even though he can't see her, saying, "It's none of your business. You can't just trap us here cause you think you know what's best for us."
The sound of thunder rumbling above the house makes her flinch, hand shooting out to latch onto JJ's arm on an instinct she couldn't consciously resist. Feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her palm and the fingers clutched around his wrist sends shocks of familiar electricity up her body. Touching him always makes her feel hyperaware of herself, leaving her to wonder if he can sense her pulse picking up or notice how her breathing pattern turns uneven.
With that being said, it's safe to say that the night they spent together took that sensation of electricity and hyperawareness to a height it hadn't reached before.
That time, it wasn't a brush of their hands or an arm over her shoulder, it was the epitome of physical closeness. She couldn't handle it. He was so sickeningly sweet with her, yet, at the same time, he knew all of the right times to be commanding and in control too. There were awkward moments at first, sure, but once they became comfortable with each other, it was game over.
And whenever they've touched since, she hasn't been able to get those memories off of her mind. It's less prevalent now, since she's only holding onto him out of fear, but it's still there underneath it all—the unfiltered desperation of the lust in his eyes, the low noises that escaped his parted lips, and the strong pair of hands that pinned her hips down on the mattress to give him the leverage to really give it to her at the intensity she begged for.
It's pathetically easy for her to be sucked right back into the vortex of emotions, memories, and fears that haunt her whenever they touch, but he brings her back out of it just as easily when he speaks.
"You okay?"
John B was as good as forgotten by him as soon as he felt her jolt next to him and grab onto his wrist like she was hanging from a ravine and he was the only thing preventing her from falling. It makes him feel like a fool, but even when they're ignoring each other, the urge to comfort and protect her from anything that displeases her never disappears. He'd literally fistfight Zeus if it meant there'd be less thunder to scare her.
If he weren't hiding behind a locked door to avoid their wrath, JB would probably be calling him a simp right about now.
The concern on his face is so pure and unaffected by any of the chaos that surrounds them, both physical and emotional, that it makes her stomach turn with a sick feeling. God, he really does care about her. Why does that scare her? Why doesn't she want to believe that he cares? Why is she so set on believing that he wanted nothing more than a quick fuck from her?
Her eyes turn down to see their connected hands, realizing all in one moment what she did and pulling her hand away as if she were burned.
"I—Yeah," she stops, looking up at him, then back to the closed bedroom door, "I'm fine. You know how it is, it's just the storm."
They're both left with no choice but to face the music after days of avoidance that had no good reason behind it other than the respective doubts and fears they have. Yet even now that they're standing here, unsure of what comes next, they're hesitant to say or do anything that might disrupt the illusion they've created in the week and a half since they first ruined their friendship for good.
It feels as though the tension that has been boiling between them is coming close to turning explosive and all it will take is one tremor of their self-control for it to spill over.
Every feeling they have feels so contradictory. They want to but they also don't. They almost do it, then hesitate and decide to ignore each other for days. At the party, this tug of war game was at its peak for JJ when she was telling him about her jealousy and cuddling up to him, but he couldn't do it then, not when she was drunk. And by the time he had a whole night to think it over and see her biking away, he didn't want to risk it.
She looks away from him, hoping that "out of sight, out of mind" may ring true for once, and says to John B through the door, "Whatever, have fun. I won't hold JJ back when you finally come out of there though."
He won't actually do anything to him, maybe just a non-serious fight that'll end with her walking in on them rolling around on the floor trying to wrestle each other, but she likes to fuck with him anyway. For the dick move he just pulled, she thinks he can withstand a little teasing.
Without anything else to say, Y/N turns and walks off to make herself useful elsewhere—anything to distract from the buzzing, anxious energy that surrounds her from both the hurricane and being forced to confront JJ. She tries to play it cool though she is anything but at the moment, allowing herself to grimace once her back is turned to the blonde boy still standing against the wall in the hallway.
Maybe if she keeps pushing this false sense of normalcy, it'll work. It worked when they both started pretending things never happened between them initially after they had sex, so who's to say it can't work now?
All they have to do is get through the next 12-24 hours without talking and all will be well. Right?
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They tried.
They truly tried to get through the night without inciting chaos within the Chateau, but, for these two idiots, not inciting chaos is a task easier said than done. Not only was John B much more stubborn with staying in his room than either of them bargained for, he didn't even attempt to speak to them for the first five hours and they were left with nothing to do but find new ways to avoid talking to each other.
It was simple in the beginning.
She went off on her own and sat with her headphones in to drown out the sounds of the storm.
With her eyes fluttered shut to block out anything but the sound of The Cure blasting into her ears, there was no reason for her to have to worry about anything once her nerves began to settle. Since the songs drowned out any sound and all she could see was darkness behind her closed eyelids, she was able to drift away with the distraction of the music.
The thing is, after a while, she started to see pieces of him in every song she skipped to. She made it a full minute into Just Like Heaven before a supercut of her most treasured memories of him began appearing in her head. Fade Into You? Skipped as soon as the first dreamy lyric flooded in through the tangled cords of the headphones. Cloud 9? Forty seconds in. By the time Dirty Little Secret came on, she decided that her playlist was mocking her.
The headphones were out of her ears, hastily wrapped up, and stowed away in the small pocket of her overnight bag before the chorus of the song could hit. Thankfully for her, JJ wasn't looking when she ripped the headphones out and put them away in a huff, so by the time he turned to see her again, she was laying down on the couch to "nap"—meaning she laid awake for another hour and cursed John B for making her endure this.
While she was daydreaming of a John B voodoo doll, JJ was worried about her.
Yes, the topic of their relationship/friendship/situationship/whatever-the-fuck-it-is was bombarding him against his will every five seconds, but not without him coming back to his concern for her. A small sound of thunder on an otherwise perfect day was enough to make her zone out and start getting antsy that day on the boat, so he didn't want to know how bad it could get during a time like this.
He tried to play it cool, and, in all honesty, his remaining scraps of sanity lasted a lot longer than hers. Four and a half hours passed, then, as the storm began to do its worst on their town, the power flickered out and left them in complete darkness. At that point, John B was passed out in his bedroom, so he didn't care nor notice when they had to find a few candles and stumble through the dark.
Somewhere along the way, having to search through the dark house for candles to light and place around the living room led them here...he isn't quite sure how.
JJ can hardly open his eyes enough to see through the rain that pounds against him the second he runs after her through the back door. The wind is so aggressive and unrelenting, it almost sends him stumbling a few steps when he follows her blurry figure a few paces behind where she tries to flee the house in a panic.
"Get back inside!" he shouts as he picks up his speed to catch up, "Y/N!"
The part of him that isn't focused on the pure physicality of trying to see and move through the stormy weather is utterly overwhelmed with fear. Not for himself but for her. She's deathly afraid of mild storms, let alone hurricanes, and yet she ran through the back door when he tried comforting her through an anxiety attack. One would think that she wouldn't want to go directly into the thing she fears the most, but what sent her running for the hills wasn't the panic itself, it was him.
It's hard for her to think rationally in this state, but all she knows is that he was there, he was saying all the right things and holding her, and she couldn't do it. The fear began to blend to one centered around both him and the storm. The hours of useless distractions and ruminating in her thoughts built up to this point of contention, then it snapped.
Between the thunder, his voice, and the voice in the back of her head that was urging her to confess her feelings and do as John B advised them to, it became too much. Maybe it was the most idiotic split-second decision she made without any regard for logic or reason or her safety, but she bailed. For the third time, she couldn't handle the pressure and ran from him.
The only difference is that he couldn't let her leave this time.
He gasps for air against the streams of water flowing down his face, soaking his hair and making it hang in his eyes to obstruct his view more than the weather already has. It happened so fast, neither of them are wearing shoes. His feet sink into the muddy yard with every stride he takes in his frantic pursuit of her and it frustrates him no end because of how it slows him down.
There's endless dangerous possibilities with her being out here. She could be knocked over into the marsh by the wind, or stuck and hurt by a piece of debris—merely thinking about it makes him call out her name louder in the hopes that it'll wake her from her panicked trance.
After trudging through the mud all the way to the edge of the yard, he finally manages to get to her.
"What are you doing?" JJ shouts, turning her around and grabbing onto both of her arms as if one gust of wind would sweep her away if he didn't, "You're gonna get hurt!"
Stumbling backwards in the direction of the screened-in porch that surrounds the back door, he uses their difference in strength to tug her away in the direction she came out in. The rain makes it difficult to keep a firm grasp on her, and she almost slips away a couple of times when the wind picks up enough to make him too unsteady to hold on.
His arms slip around her waist for a better grasp on her the closer they come to reaching the house. The last thing he wants is to almost get her back inside and lose her at the last second. She isn't thinking rationally right now with the panic she feels taking full control of her responses. He knows firsthand how it feels to be thrown headfirst into a panic attack, he's been in her shoes before and knows better than anyone the lengths your irrational mind will go to if it means survival. And for whatever reason, her response is flight, not fight.
The door to the screen porch takes all of his effort to open against the power of the wind blowing it back against the house.
He grits his teeth as he forces it open, one arm secured around her midsection, and helps her in before he slips inside too. The second he lets go of the door, it's sent slamming back into place and rattling in the frame behind them, but he doesn't spend anymore time on it other than the few seconds it takes to lock it. As soon as it clicks with him that they're safe—most importantly, that she's safe—he whips around to face her with a cold rage flowing through his veins.
"What the fuck?"
She stands in front of him with water pouring off of her in rapid drops onto the rug, and there are no thoughts in her head outside of the ones telling her to leave. Her tears blend in with the droplets of rain so seamlessly that he wouldn't know she's crying if not for the sound of it.
In between her rapid breaths and sobs, she yells back at him, "I was scared, okay?"
"Why'd you run out into the storm if you—"
"I wasn't afraid of the storm, I was afraid of you!"
The silence that follows is louder than anything they've experienced. Nothing can rival it, not the thunder, the rain, or anything can drown it out while he stares at her in shock. His eyes are wide, lips slightly parted as he reaches for something, anything, he can say in response to that, but there's nothing. For once, he is absolutely speechless.
Things got awkward between them in the initial aftermath of last week, but not like this. There was never an instance where he felt like there was nothing left for him to say to her to fill the uncomfortable silence that always brought forth memories of them together until now. Until she said the last thing he wanted or expected to hear.
His anger subsides as he picks over what he did in his head for anything that could've made her feel unsafe.
Before it evolved into him chasing after her through the hurricane, he noticed how terrible it had gotten for her when he lit the first candle. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her chest began to rise and fall faster with each second that passed. He could see it on her face that things were getting worse, but, now that he thinks of it, it got worse once he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.
It felt like a dream sequence in his head, so hazy and faraway now that it's over, and he was so stunned by what she was doing, he didn't run after her until a few seconds later. There was a delay in which he stood there in surprise and tried to process what the hell just happened to no avail. Though it wasn't very long, he remembers it feeling like eternity tucked into the cramped space of four seconds.
JJ's voice is softer than she's ever heard it, asking into the void of the near-darkness that encloses them, "What'd I do?" And it breaks her heart in half to hear him sound so concerned, so terrified of the idea that he did something to hurt her when all he did was try to help. "I never meant to scare you, I swear. I know how bad it can get sometimes, and I know we haven't been talking but I'd never try to hurt you if that's what you thought..."
His thoughts run rampant with the possibilities of what she was thinking at the time, and he realizes that he can't stand the idea of her thinking anything badly of him. He never cares about what people think, but, fuck, he loathes the idea of her having any ill feelings toward him.
Y/N immediately starts shaking her head, her face scrunching with the emotion and incessant tears.
"I know you'd never hurt me. I was scared because..." she stops herself mid sentence, catching it right when she was about to admit the one thing she promised herself she wouldn't.
But the need to say it doesn't go away this time. Usually, once she catches herself she comes to her senses and realizes how foolish it would've been to confess, but this time is different. This time, the urge to speak her mind and tell him everything sticks around. The words left unsaid creep up her throat, thrashing and begging to let out after months of being pushed aside.
The look in her eyes is strangely reminiscent of the way she looked at him the night they hooked up, almost yearning in its nature, and he couldn't be more confused. She's scared of him, but she's looking at him like she did when she was two seconds away from jumping his bones. And if he didn't do anything wrong, why was she afraid enough to face her worst fear in order to avoid him?
"Because what?" he asks.
That frustration from when they first stepped into the porch hasn't vanished, it only took a backseat once she said she was afraid of him, not the storm, and he can feel it stirring up again. He's tired of not having answers. He's tired of mixed signals and loneliness and unrequited love. Most of all, he's tired of her running away all the time. At this point, he questions whether or not it's worth it to expose his feelings to her and suffer the consequences.
John B was right. This isn't healthy for them, nor is it healthy for them to put their friends through this along with them, and it might be better to not be friends than to stay this way forever. At least that way they wouldn't be wishing for answers that would never come for the rest of their time together.
She decides at this moment that this has to be said before it gets worse, before she runs away again like a scared, immature child and ruins everything.
"Because," she has to shout over the lightning that cracks down on the earth down the street, something she would be trembling in fear over if she weren't so focused on him, "I've been in love with you for a couple months and it scares me more than anything, even this stupid fucking storm! And I've tried so hard to ignore it because I know you don't feel the same way, but you touched me and I just"—a soft cry escapes her—"I couldn't do it anymore."
There it is.
After months of ruminating over it and hiding everything, he knows, and her immediate feeling after she says it isn't what she thought it would be. She expected trepidation and regret, but what she finds on the other side isn't either of those, it's relief. Her dad often tells her when she's nervous about something that the anticipation is worse than the thing itself, and that has never been as true her as it is now.
However, some of the nerves return with the time that passes after she spoke in complete silence. Much like the delayed reaction he had to her running out of the house, it isn't as long as it feels to her. It's a short span of time that it takes for her words to process with him, but it feels like an eternity that he stands there with his head facing the floor in quiet contemplation.
Her heart sinks.
This means he doesn't feel the same way, doesn't it? If he were the one telling her he loved her, she likely would've leaped into his arms and said it back, but he stays where he is.
Then, after what feels like forever, she thinks she sees him start to smile and feels like she's losing her mind. It's quite dark out here, so there's only a limited amount of light to allow her to see his features, but there's no doubting it when a flash of lightning floods the porch with a split-second of harsh light.
Oh God, why is he smiling? What does it mean?
Much to her frustration, the first thing he says after her confession isn't much help in making her understand his feelings either.
"Why didn't you just talk to me?"
Why? The voice in the back of her mind asks incredulously. Is he seriously asking why? He ignored me too. He didn't want to talk about it either, so what else was I supposed to do?
Maybe she was undeniably worse when it came to the avoidance and lack of communication, but he could've reached out to her too. They both could've. Instead, they spent day after day waiting for the other to make the move and pushed the tension further and further until it finally broke. Now she's waiting for him to hurry up and reject her so she can move on with her life.
She shivers from the wind blowing at her wet skin through the screens separating them from the outside world, crossing her arms over her body to hug herself. His eyes follow her movements down to the breaths that are slowly evening out without her realizing it. It turns out that confessing your love for the guy you've been crushing on since the day you met him is a hell of a distraction.
"I thought you wouldn't wanna hear me being all emotional and shit over a one time thing. You've literally never had an actual relationship before. And that's fine," she rambles, "I'll be okay eventually, but that's not who you are and there isn't a problem with that. I just caught feelings when I shouldn't have."
In her defense, she isn't making baseless assumptions about him, he hasn't had a relationship before. His love life hasn't ever really revolved around love itself, it was mostly comprised of random chicks he'd meet at parties or at the beach during the summertime when tourists come to visit the island. Out of all of them, he's the last one the Pogues would expect to fall in love with someone and commit to a relationship, but then...
He looks over at her with a swell of emotion within him that he's never felt before. It wasn't like he hadn't known before now. He did. He even said it out loud to himself that morning after the party, but this is when it feels the most real. Now that she's said it to him, he doesn't feel so stupid for toying with the four letter word in the back of his mind for the entirety of the past week.
In all honesty, he was the last person he would've expected to fall in love with someone this quickly too. He thought he knew himself better than this. He thought he could keep himself hidden away and not let anyone close enough to see him—the real him, faults and feelings and vulnerability included—but she proved him wrong. In walked Y/N with her pretty smile, teeny bikini bottoms, and oddly strong opinions on Ratatouille, and he stood no chance.
This sudden crescendo of emotion only continues to grow when he watches her shiver, soaked to the skin, across from him and decides that he never wants to deny himself of her again. Those feelings of inadequacy that forced him to question his relationship with her may not have gone away, not by a long shot, but they can't stop him anymore. Nothing can.
Like a light flickering to life in this swirling, stormy darkness, she hears JJ's voice asking her, "What if it is who I am?"
It was said so softly, she nearly lost it beneath the rain and wind. But it was not said with a lack of certainty, which is why she questions if she heard him correctly. He sounded so sure of himself that it feels too good to be true. After his reaction, or lack thereof, to her telling him she loved him, she accepted what was coming and this was not it.
"What?"
He doesn't miss a beat.
"You heard me." There's a pause. "Maybe I needed to meet the right girl."
There is no way he's saying what she thinks he's saying because if he is...if he is then that means the tears and frustration have all been for nothing because he loves her back. But if he loves her, then what was with the kook girl? Was it to make her jealous, or is she misinterpreting him right now and he was flirting with that girl because he doesn't have real feelings for her?
"JJ..." she trails off, looking down and thinking to herself how thankful she is that it's too dark for him to fully see how nervous he made her, "don't do that."
Partly, he should feel offended that she'd think he'd toy with her feelings like that, but he isn't. He's too busy wondering what on earth made this poor girl so insecure to think that someone has to be joking to confess their love to her. It makes him wonder if anyone wronged her before she moved here, and he feels that switch of impulsive anger inside of him flip at the thought.
But that anger has nowhere to go, so it shifts into something different—a need to spend every waking moment of the rest of their time together proving to her that she doesn't have to be so afraid. Does it make him a hypocrite? Probably. It wasn't too long ago that he was telling the Pogues how much he didn't deserve to be with her, but he doesn't see himself the same way he sees her. In his head, he has reasons to believe he doesn't deserve her love, but how could she ever think that herself?
He steps closer to her, the movement something so natural and unconscious to him that he doesn't recognize he does it until he hears her breath hitch in the back of her throat. They were already close enough to reach out and touch each other if they wanted to, yet now it's the kind of closeness that wipes the slate of her mind clean with nothing else but the thought of him there to stay.
He starts to say, "I'm not fucking with you, dude, I'm being serious—"
"Then prove it."
Oh.
The sound of his unfinished sentence lingers on the tip of his tongue as he blinks away his surprise at what she said, though it was less of a statement and more of a challenge. What the challenge is, he isn't too sure, but he thinks there could be a couple of meanings there.
The fire in her eyes when she looked up at him is one he recognizes very well, it stars in one too many of his daydreams that center around their secret night together. She rose to the occasion without fail and matched his chaos every time, and that steely-eyed stare is reminiscent of it.
Yet, the sexual undertone isn't the only part of it to be discovered. There's a clear meaning there for him to actually prove it, to put his money where his mouth is, grow a pair, and tell her how he feels with no room for confusion. No more miscommunication, running away, or insecurity getting between them, just a clear cut confession like hers.
His hand runs through his hair to sweep it out of his eyes and keep the wet strands from dripping down his face. It helps him see her a little better too, grounding him to the moment and calming him at the dimmed sight of her expectant, wide eyed gaze.
There were a million versions of this whenever he let himself imagine admitting it. He only let himself picture it on the worst days, days like the one two days ago when he went home to his dad, ending the night by cleaning his own cuts and inspecting his own bruises in his locked bedroom. He did it to distract himself from wanting to storm out of the room and finally kill the son of a bitch after years of suffering in silence.
JJ closed his eyes, shaking with anger, and dreamed of how he'd tell her. There were versions with long speeches that were far too sappy to exist outside of the realm of his imagination. There were versions with him burying the words between friendly jokes to play down the extent of his feelings too, but he thought it worked best in its simplest form.
So he puts it as simply as it gets, lips fighting a soft smile as he crosses the space between them and rushes in to kiss her. It's charged with an accumulation of the pent up love, anger, and sexual desire that has been repressed until now, resulting in something utterly explosive.
He stops for a second to whisper, "I love you too," into her parted lips, and she finally lets herself go at the sound of those words.
Forget that they've only known each other for five months, when you know you know. This is the real deal. This is the kind of feeling that possesses every accessible inch of her heart and she'd never be open enough to admit that to anyone but him at the moment, but neither of them minds that. It's such a new, rapidly developing feeling that they want to protect it and keep it close to them for the time being.
His arms twine around her waist, tugging her the last bit forward and leaving no space between their bodies this time. The sudden movement draws a sharp gasp from the back of her throat and sends her hands out to brace themselves on his shoulders. The sound of the gasp that disappears into their connected mouths only fuels him on more. It makes him more eager with how he touches her with his hands drifting down the plane of her back, one of which playfully slipping beneath the hem of her soaked shirt in a way that makes her smile into the kiss.
He knows exactly what he does to her. He can sense it in the small reactions that would often go overlooked if it were someone less familiar with her.
It's easy to tell by the way she completely surrenders herself to him, letting out these soft little noises she doesn't even realize she's making when he takes control of the interaction and kisses her like he's starved for it. In a way, he is starving for affection and attention from her. He never knew it was something he needed so badly until he got it, and now he never wants to go without having her again.
That's why it doesn't surprise him when she starts getting antsy after a moment or two, especially after keeping away from him for days.
Her hands run down the length of his chest over the soaked t-shirt, taking a quiet victory in how his stomach flinches inward in response to her exploring touch, and she could swear his next exhale trembles as she continues lower. Never once does she break the kiss, which, by the way, has gone past the point of being passionate and straight to downright needy, but her concentration does falter. The perfectly paced rhythm of her mouth moving with his is interrupted when she touches him over the fabric of his shorts.
Those plushy soft lips go on an exploration of their own too. Leaving him with the first opportunity to catch his breath in minutes, she dips her head beneath the sharp edge of jaw in pursuit of the sweet spot she remembers reducing him to a grabby, moaning mess the last time they did this. It doesn't take her long, not if the tightening of his arms around her and the satisfied hum of a moan she feels vibrate beneath her mouth has anything to say for it.
He loses himself in it for a second or two...okay, fine, maybe ten.
The separate sensations combined spark a flame inside of him that burns so hopelessly for whatever she'll give him. His mind sends him images of them together, both real memories from their first time together and imagined fantasies he only let himself visit in his dreams, and he realizes how thinly spread his self control has become lately.
First, it's the thought of her from last week, thoughts of her gasping, writhing, and begging beneath him that makes his cock throb under the teasing contact of her hand through his shorts. But then he's brought elsewhere. Then, though he hasn't thought of it since the day after the party, he thinks of the mix of jealousy and anger he felt when he saw Tyler with her.
He remembers being sane one moment and charging across the room like a madman the next. He remembers how it felt to watch another person's hands slip under her dress, how it felt to see someone else try to kiss her the way he had, and this raw wound of a memory is all it takes to spur him into action.
It happens so quickly, she doesn't even notice what's happening until he has her scooped up in his arms with her legs around his waist. She doesn't even have the chance to voice her surprise or crack a joke at the expense of his neediness before he reconnects their paused kiss with enough force to make her teeth ache in the collision.
JJ's rings are colder than ice, digging into the flesh of her thighs as he holds them with a tight grip and blindly takes the few steps necessary to reach the back entrance of the house. His wet handprint smudges on one of the cracked-open glass doors and sends droplets of water dribbling down the surface. The teardrop of rain zig-zags at the swinging motion of the door on their way in, only changing course again when he nudges it shut behind him a little too loudly.
"Wh"—her question is cut off by him laying her down on the rug-covered floor in between the couch and coffee table—"What if John B wakes up?"
His first thought was to bring her into the spare bedroom, but then he realized that it shares a wall with John B. Then, he considered the pull out couch but realized that would be louder than the room adjacent to their friend's. His only conclusion was this.
It isn't nearly as romantic as either of them would've pictured, but they're not exactly picky either. They're so desperate for it, they'd likely do it on the porch in the middle of a hurricane if there weren't another option. And in their own weird way, they make it romantic.
There's no one else she'd rather risk rug burn for, and that is the peak of romance.
"John B sleeps like a fuckin' rock," JJ says, "and it's own his fault for trapping us here anyway."
He follows her down onto the floor without a second thought, not even looking up to see if they woke their friend with the sound of the door shutting behind them.
Hovered above her, he looks particularly captivating in the flickering candlelight. The fire burning in one of the three-wick candles they scoured the bathroom cabinets for brings out the warm hues in his blonde hair and highlights every edge of the angular face that looks down at her. The porch was far too dark for her to see him in all of his near-perfection, but this is enough for her to notice a multitude of things.
His slicked back, wet hair allows her to see his features better and the way he looks at her...it's enough to make anyone feel red in the face. How hadn't she see it before? She knows it was denial, but, somehow, she used to overlook the small hints along the way like how he looks at her like she's the only thing that makes sense to him. For the first time in a while, she allows herself to embrace the idea of being loved without looking for something to justify her fears surrounding it.
The sound of her voice brings him out of the mesmerized trance he fell under at the sight of her.
"I've missed you," she says softly, "like a lot."
The sweet admission slows him down for a second, making him stop to ignore the distracting desire that she sparked to life a moment ago and take the time to cherish this moment of rare serenity with her.
It's a wonder that she hasn't even acknowledged the storm raging on outside since they've come back in. It's all thanks to him, of course, since she's been too focused on everything happening between them, but it surprises him. It makes a sense of pride flare up in him on her behalf for being capable of forgetting something she fears so much.
But, on the other hand, it reminds him of how distraught she was right before their conversation/argument on the porch shifted from her panic to the topic of their relationship, and he can't help but hesitate a little.
"I missed you too." The hand he isn't using to support himself above her cups her face, his thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone. "Are you okay though? You were just crying and I don't wanna make you—"
"Yes."
It was so said so quickly, there was zero hesitation. It's not that it doesn't surprise him that she's as eager as he is after what started to happen out on the porch, but it does make his eyes widen a little. His mouth curls with a slight grin. It's the kind that never fails to make her stomach fluttering and light with butterflies.
"You don't have to worry about me. I'm okay, and I promise I'll let you know if I'm not," Y/N clarifies.
"Okay."
There's a short moment where all they do is look at each other with a complete loss for words to convey what they feel right now. It isn't as awkward as it would've been prior to tonight. Before they confessed their feelings, they wouldn't have been able to look at one another for any longer than a few seconds without needing to walk away to break the tension. Now, things have changed. They don't feel the need to conceal how much they care anymore.
They're still the same bickering duo they've always been with the added fun of being head over heels. She never used to understand how some people could let their feelings for another person drive them crazy, but it's done more than make her crazy this past week. It made her jealous, obsessive, and somehow happy too, and no one has ever made her feel so many varying emotions in her life.
Her fingertips graze the stretch of skin between where his cargo shorts sit on his hips and his shirt rides up the side of his torso, and he swallows thickly at the feeling.
"Do I make you nervous?" she asks.
Her lilting, smooth voice is enough to soothe any nerves he could possibly have. It's as if hearing her ask that paired with the hand teasing the waistband of his shorts pulled him back to the place he'd been before when she was teasing him over his clothes.
He answers honestly, his head going fuzzy with the crushing desire that courses through him, "Not as nervous as I make you," and closes the space between them again.
The cheeky comment doesn't go unnoticed by her, not one bit. It makes her face heat up in embarrassment that is purely instinct after having to hide her feelings from her for so long. Maybe after they've been together for longer, it won't make her blush every time he acknowledges the effect he has on her out loud, but that day isn't today. Today, she goes hot in the face from a sole second of his attention, let alone this.
JJ lets his hand climb up the length of her torso as they kiss as if they have all the time in the world, as if their best friend isn't sleeping less than twenty feet away from them, until it flattens at the base of her neck. It doesn't curl around her neck and squeeze, nor does it do anything but remind her how much she loves the feeling of him touching her, the large palm of his hand simply stays draped over her throat to flaunt his ability to sway her nerves.
She's pretty sure if it were anyone else, it wouldn't work, but he's JJ for fuck's sake, and the quiet display of dominance sends an exhilarating little thrill rumbling through her. It isn't anything over the top or exaggerated like some people would do in an attempt to stake a claim over the person they love, just a simple gesture that they both know the meaning of.
She's his. After five months of friendship, two months of silent pining, and a week of sexually confused hell, she's his, and he'll never let her forget it.
The wind rattles the windows over the couch with its force and she notices that his hips grind into hers at the sudden sound. Even in the midst of such a heated moment, it's downright cute how he still makes an effort to distract her from what she fears. And, boy, does it work.
Their panting breaths in the brief seconds they allow themselves to break away from each other are the only sounds audible in the small living room. The storm drowns it all out for now, including the noises that start to leave them from the steadily building pleasure of their bodies moving together.
She can feel how hard he is through the layers that separate them with every absentminded thrust that brushes the fabric of her panties up against her clit each time. It leaves her breathless and wondering, despite already knowing, what it'll feel like when he finally slips inside of her again.
They both fantasized about it in the time they spent apart. Neither of them would dare deny it, least of all JJ. It actually became frustrating after a while because she started to become the only scenario he could conjure to get himself off when he had a rare moment of privacy. His fantasies, all stemming from the night that was so perfect, he began to question the reality of it, linger in his head.
The best part of his fantasies were the parts of them based in truth, and if he knows anything about her when she's in this state, it's that she's needy. Her tongue swipes along his bottom lip in a silent urging to let her deepen the kiss, and he complies without a second to spare, willing to entertain her every whim so long as she keeps being so good for him.
He revels in her muffled squeak of a moan when he presses down on the sides of her throat at the precise moment his hips grind down to meet hers. She can't keep herself still for any longer than a half-second, always meeting his movements halfway and unknowingly doing another thing that will be the death of him.
She leads his shirt up his body without having to second guess herself, knowing that he's always on the same wavelength as her no matter what. This was how it was the last time too. Anything she did, he was already one step ahead, and tonight isn't much different. By the time her hands ball up the dripping cotton fabric, JJ is lifting the hand off of her neck to reach for the neckline of the shirt and help tug it off.
There's a sense of urgency in everything they do. Charged up with frustration and jealousy that brewed within the days they spent apart, there's nothing to stop them from reducing themselves to a pair of panting, impatient lovers too consumed in each other to care about the outside world.
The sopping wet fabric is thrown beyond her line of sight and lands on the hardwood floor with a 'thwack' that accompanies their cacophony of moans and gasps, and she whimpers at the sight of him. It may have to do with the fact that he's guiding their bodies together at a cadence and pressure perfect enough to make her legs tremble, but seeing him like this does nothing but aid the sensation.
Golden skin glistening under the candlelight, tendrils of half-dry blonde hair falling into his face with the lazy effort of his movements, and a stray raindrop that squeezed from the wet shirt dripping down his chest...she's not gonna make it out of tonight alive, is she? In her memory, she knew he was a sight to see in the midst of a heated moment, but, fuck, memories do not hold up beside the real experience of it.
Y/N is so caught up in his seemingly endless beauty, she doesn't notice him peeling her damp denim shorts off of her hips until they're halfway down her legs, and the only reason she does notice is because he must shift his position to do it. Suddenly, the budding feeling that stirred from their needy antics is plucked away and left to ache for more in the absence of him between her thighs.
Her middle and index fingers hook around the front of his necklace to pull him back down to her, but he doesn't budge at first. He's too busy trying to rid her of her shirt to care.
It was too much of a distraction while they kissed for him to resist slipping it off of her when he got the chance to. Much to his frustration when he first realized they were trapped with each other, she's braless underneath, and it's only worse now that the t-shirt is soaked to her skin and clinging to every delicate curve.
Once the clothing gives way to the canvas of her bare skin, he submits to her urgency and follows her down by the fingers hooked around his necklace without any qualms.
As soon as they resume, it's as if they never stopped to begin with, and they start to realize how seamlessly they fit together as the seconds elapse. Neither of them are actively thinking about it while he dips his hand into the front of her panties, but it is in their subconscious.
It's a revelation of sorts, an ah-ha moment where it hits them both in a sweeping realization that it was obvious from the day they met. They should've known sooner, they should've dropped their pride and admitted it as soon as the first inklings of desire began to pop up, but they didn't. Instead, it washes over them now and they let the current take them away together.
Her mouth falls open against his cheek at the feeling of his fingers swiping through the arousal that pools in her underwear for him, dragging the wetness over his fingertips and spreading it up to brush fleetingly against her clit. It's a split-second of a touch that it makes her hips lift up off the floor on their own accord to seek out more. It makes her dig her nails into the skin stretching over his taut shoulder muscles in a wordless plea for more that he doesn't indulge her in at first.
He makes her earn it from him without having to say a single word. He touches her, but he doesn't touch where she wants or ease his fingers into her to satisfy the need she feels yet. It's a blessing and a curse that he manages to turn her on to such an extent. He does it for her like nothing else can, so much so that she's noticed a distinct difference in how it feels when she's alone versus when they're together. When she's alone, it can tend to feel like active effort, but when she's with him, it's as natural as the urge to breathe.
His smirk is felt against her skin the entire time she begs for it through the revealing actions of her body—her hips jerking up toward him, her chest pressing tightly to his, and the sound of her murmuring, "Please," in a breathy tone that could stop his heart.
"Tell me what you want," JJ says, every word constrained and tight in a way that tells her he's a lot less composed than he lets on, and "accidentally" swipes his thumb over her clit again. "Talk to me, baby."
She almost forgot in their time apart how much of an effect he has on her, but this is the best reminder of that she could possibly imagine. If she could, she would find a way to bottle the feeling he gives her and keep it with her forever so that, no matter what happens between them, she'll never have the misfortune of forgetting him.
What he said simultaneously melts her heart and frustrates her to no end because he knows! He knows damn well what she wants from him and won't give it to her unless she asks for it, and she hates herself for loving it. She hates herself for enjoying the flushed-face embarrassment it brings to her cheeks to be so open with him about what she needs.
She swallows the lump in her throat and tries to focus through the clouded landscape of her head to speak to him. It's hard to concentrate when he's above her like this, touching her, calling her pet names, and looking at her like that.
With his lips worshiping the sensitive skin along her neck, she finds it hard to choke out the words, "I want you," into the humid air that has infiltrated the house.
It's not a lie. Anything regarding her wanting him or any related feeling is no longer something she can hide anymore, but they both know it isn't exactly what he wanted. No matter how it took his breath away to hear her say it, he was seeking something more specific. He was aiming to make her ask, maybe even beg, for it. They're both too impatient to wait and based on how wet his fingertips are from barely dipping into her, he can tell she's as eager as he is.
It's been thirteen days too long since the last time they allowed themselves to meet this way, and neither of them wants to let it happen again.
She was nearly trembling with the urge to go to him whenever they were together in the company of their friends, unable to think about anything except for how badly she wanted him. All the while, he appeared so unbothered, especially on the night of the party when he flirted with someone else, that she didn't even believe he felt the same way back. Thankfully for her, she couldn't have been more wrong.
He clicks his tongue and says, still teasing her with light touches that never linger in one place for too long, "That wasn't very specific."
Part of her should know that he's about to do something based on how he withdraws his head from its cherished place in the crook of her neck, but she's too caught up in the anticipation and seeing his face for the first time in a minute to think about it. How dare he look so good? She could cry in frustration, although she might actually already be tearing up a little with the rush of neediness hitting her in its full force.
Never has she felt so turned on by so little physical contact before. It usually takes longer for her to get to this point, whether it be alone or in the past with previous partners, yet all it took was being kissed, touched, and being given his undivided attention and now...She realizes she's in trouble. He has her in an emotional and sexual chokehold at this point, and she fears that no one can compare.
"I want—" her voice is snuffed out in an instant when he eases two fingers into her, "Oh!"
So that's why he pulled away from her neck to look at her.
It was worth abandoning the mark forming on her neck just to see the expression on her face shift. She gets this cute look when anything overwhelming starts to happen where her brows scrunch a little to create a soft wrinkle between them as her mouth drops open in a moan. And after ten steady minutes of doing nothing but some over the clothes action and painstaking teasing, this is as overwhelming as it gets without it crossing the line to being too much.
It never occurred to her how much larger his fingers are compared to hers until now. This type of pleasure is like an itch only someone else can scratch to her, she feels virtually nothing when she does it to herself, but when he does it, it's like an explosive being set off inside of her. Especially with the thumb that sneaks up to circle her clit without stopping to tease her again, she is putty in his hands at this point.
Every smooth stroke of his fingers into her reaches a spot she can never quite find on her own, and she can feel the cold bite of rings when they're buried into her to the knuckle.
It's a surprise every time, even when she knows to expect it. Like a delightful chill running up through her body and down her spine exactly how it's intended to. It strikes an idea in her head for when he eventually pulls them out of her, conjuring the image of her sucking them clean for him just for the sake of imagining what it'll do to him.
With that idea tucked away in the back of her mind, he's the center of her world right now. All she breathes, thinks, and feels is him. Whether it be the sight of him, or the feelings he's giving her, or even the taste of his kiss that still lingers on her tongue, it connects to one common thread.
"What were you saying?" JJ asks, and she wants to wipe that smirk right off his face.
It's virtually impossible for her to piece together a coherent thought, let alone a sentence detailing every filthy idea she has for him, but she tries. It takes another moment or two of her succumbing to the rapid incline of pleasure that he gives her, watching her in wonder through any greedy buck of her hips or gasping inhale that makes her head loll back onto the floor.
At first, what she wanted to say was that she wanted him to touch her, to do anything more than the fleeting touches he gave before. Now, she wants more than that. Now that she's drawn in closer to the eventual high that's to come, she doesn't want it to happen like this. She wants to feel closer to him than this, wants to feel him throb inside of her and fuck her with all of the urgency and desperation that has accumulated in their time apart.
That's why her hands start to grab at the belt loops of his shorts to tug him closer by them, meeting his gaze through the hazy bliss of his fingers pumping into her. It's not enough.
"Please"—she keeps pulling him closer to her, so close that there's hardly any space left to cross, and he revels in her desperation—"just fuck me already..."
Internally, JJ is losing his shit.
Though this was what he wanted, what he coaxed out of her with the teasing and the pretend sense of a nonchalant attitude on his part, it hits him harder than he expected it to to hear her say it. It's not necessarily the act of begging itself either, it's the fact that she's the one doing it. She may have been jealous of the girl at the party, but she had nothing to worry about. Not in the slightest.
Before her, he never thought he'd fall for someone this way. It's not like he had a hatred for love or anything, he understood the appeal, it simply wasn't his thing.
He was perfectly content with his only form of companionship being his friends. Then, she came along and changed it. So to hear her say something like that isn't just breathtaking, it's the kind of thing that makes his heart ache for her. It hits him precisely where she wanted it to, and he has never felt as consumed with love the way he does now.
JJ can do nothing to stop himself from pouncing on her at this point, like some animalistic form of himself has worn down the restraint he used to keep himself at bay.
The loss she feels when his fingers slip away from her is an emptiness she mourns at first before she realizes what's happening. He pulls away slightly to reach down between them for the front of his shorts, and their hands clash as they both frantically try to undo them together. The rings adorning his fingers glisten when they catch the light and remind her of the thought that popped into her head when she first felt their coldness against her skin.
That idea paired with the promise of what they're trying to accomplish in their uncoordinated attempt to get the rest of their clothes off makes her want to press her thighs together. Her hands abandon the task of undoing his shorts for the sake of ridding herself of the last layer that separates her from him.
Her most embarrassing old pair of brightly colored panties, courtesy of past Y/N's questionable decision to trust her mom to buy some on her behalf, are hardly a sight to behold. They're the kind that come in a value pack from Walmart, vibrant blue with the word, "Tuesday," printed on the front of them, and she could hide her face into the rug in shame if she weren't so determined to get them off. Of all the days to wear the day of the week undies her mom accidentally got her, of course she chose today.
By the time she reaches for the waistband, he has pushed his shorts and underwear down his thighs and comes back to her with just as much excitement as he left with, but when he helps her tug her panties down her legs, he laughs. Apparently, he had also been too eager to touch her to notice what was written on them before.
"Cute," he breathes out through a laugh, then adds as the cotton fabric slips over her knees, "Pretty sure it's not Tuesday though."
"If you tell anyone, I swear I'll—"
He cuts her off, "Whatever you wanna threaten me with won't work, chances are I'm gonna be into it."
Her eyes are alight with a certain fire he's had yet to fully lure out of her. Even her voice is slightly more airy and seductive as a result of it.
"Promise?"
JJ grins down at her as he finally tosses her panties aside with the rest of their clothes, "Cross my heart, pretty girl."
His hands grip her thighs and tug her down the  rug to him with a quick jolt that snaps them out of the playful nature of their back and forth teasing. No matter how lighthearted of an interruption it was, the mini-conversation might as well have never existed for how easily they fall back into it again.
She watches with her forehead pressed against his as he strokes himself a few times, then drags his tip, messy with precome, through her wet heat. And though she watches it happen, her body still arches into his when he lines up with her and sinks his hips forward.
She anticipated it, but she still gasps and digs her nails into his biceps at the sensation of him pushing into her. Neither of them bothers to worry about the obvious lack of a condom—it was discussed the first time around when he offered and she told him it was okay. He's often the one to silence the alarm on her phone warning her in its title to, "Take your birth control or else, bitch," while she searches her bag for it anyway, so he trusts her.
Both of them prefer it this way enough to risk the  minuscule failure rate of the pill anyway. It's more intimate, closer, and they can both feel the warmth of each other in a way that would've been somewhat muted with an added layer between them. It makes the feeling of him entering her all the more gratifying as she tenses up around him in reaction, drawing a groan from where his parted lips brush against hers.
She lifts her head off of the floor as much as she can to capture his mouth with her own and stifle the sonorous sound despite the storm doing a better job of it.
It seems that every blast of wind and roll of thunder is in their favor tonight, so much so that he isn't even worried about getting walked in on. It's not a thought in his head at this point, the only thought he's capable of having is this. Forgive him for being shortsighted, but he doesn't give a shit if John B notices or hears what's happening when he's buried inside of her so deeply.
His hips are flush with the backs of her thighs in a matter of seconds, and right when he pauses to give her a breather, he feels her shake her head ever so slightly against where their faces are pressed together.
The touch of her hands on his hips is not timid by any means, it's commanding. Her palm prints singe an indelible claim into the surface of his skin as she guides him to start moving without a second spared to dwindle the discomfort of him filling her up. It's less like a pain and more of a pressure blooming from the insistent presence of him, not so overwhelming that it's painful, but it's an effort to breathe evenly and the only thing that'll ease this transitional moment is to continue.
At first, their bodies start to rock together lazily as though on autopilot. They'd hardly be conscious of the fact that they're doing anything if not for the initial sensations of heady ecstasy that flash like the sparks of a lighter in response to their movements. As soon as he felt her hands coax him into action, he sighed happily and surrendered himself to the instinct of wanting to move.
The merging of their bodies is less of the aggressive rutting motions they'll surely succumb to once their current pace is no longer satisfying, but that doesn't make it any less intense. She's partly sure that this is one of the most vulnerable moments either of them has ever had when it comes to sex, and it wouldn't work if it weren't them together. No other person could consume her the way he does, taking up every unoccupied space of her soul until there's nothing left but the silent begging of her heart for him.
Their kiss is messy when it breaks to allow them the chance to suck down a couple breaths of air, saliva shining on his lips in between the seconds it takes them to come crashing back together.
It's loving enough to rot her teeth with its sweetness, a slow but impossibly deep grinding of their hips together that continually presses the tip of him into that sweet spot inside of her, but it takes a turn.
Not only do her hands shift from his hips up to the sides of his waist to get a firmer hold on him, the kiss starts to become vigorous, almost hungry, in search of something more. The dreamlike sequence of the first moment or so they spent slowly fucking under the warm hues of candlelight starts to unravel to reveal the baser instincts that guide them forward.
"Fuck, you feel so good," he whispers the praise into her mouth.
As soon as the words are said, he can feel the effect it has on her. The hands braced on his waist pull his body closer to her at the same moment that she involuntarily squeezes down around him, making the smooth drag of his cock against the velvet-soft heat of her walls even tighter than he thought possible.
The sudden feeling of it makes his first returning thrust much harder than the last. He jerks forward into her with none of the restraint he's retained for the past few moments, and her reaction is nothing short of perfection, at least from his perspective. He watches her throw her head back in a moan, hips bucking to him in pursuit of more, and feels the tips of her fingernails digging crescent-shaped marks into the unmarred skin along his waist.
"JJ!" she gasps in surprise, and if her initial reaction weren't enough to spur him on in a frenzied state of desire, this is.
He almost forgot how intense it had been the first time. Their confessions of love preceding this made them both somewhat softer and sweeter in their approach when they started, but he knows how she likes it.
Nobody would expect it from her. He's another story entirely, especially considering how much John B and Pope know about him, but her? He didn't have any in depth conversations about it with either of them, so none of their friends know how dirty she is.
But when you start to tease it out of her, she's got a side to her that makes his blood run hot. Considering how polite she is, he sure as hell didn't see it coming. For fuck's sake, she's the kind of person who'll apologize to a chair if she bumps into it. With that in mind he never thought she'd be the type to demand such things of him.
Just like that, with one moan of his name, it's like she flipped a switch in him that they forgot was there in the first place. It'll never stop surprising him how little it takes to get him going when he's with her, and he doesn't see that changing no matter how long they spend together in the future. Just a touch from her is all it takes, so it's needless to say that the sound of her calling out his name was more than enough.
Those slow, deep movements he made to sink into her again and again have turned rapid and rough, but still controlled enough to have a semblance of precision to them, hitting in all the right places.
"I bet," JJ speaks lowly, "that you want John B to walk out and see us right now."
She doesn't want to admit how much of an instantaneous effect those words have on her, but the feeling of her clenching around him as she bites back a moan completely betrays her. Partly, she worries that he'll take that the wrong way and think it has something to do with John B when it has nothing to do with him at all, but he doesn't. For the spare second of thought she's allowed to have before her mind goes hazy again, she notes how much more eager he is on the upstroke of the next thrust.
Noticing how right he was in his assumption about her liking the risk of getting caught jumpstarts his heart and makes everything he does rougher. She can sense that he's starting to lose control over himself and is acting on instinct alone.
It makes her much more sensitive to everything he does, and all she can do is cling to him and enjoy it as she takes in everything he says and does. It's hard to pick one thing to focus on between the switch up in pace and what he said.
"You want John B to know you like getting fucked like a slut, don't you?"
She could get off on the sound of his voice alone. Hearing him say stuff like that kills her, it makes the swirling bliss that builds in the pit of her abdomen with every thrust he gives her triple in its extremity.
Her legs are tightly wound around his hips to keep him as near to her as possible, her hands sliding up around his waist to keep a steady grasp on him while he pounds into her. The rug scratches at her back enough to make it sting alongside the immense pleasure building in her, but she doesn't care. When blended with the good sensations, the pain underscores the addictive feeling of him inside of her, fucking her exactly how she asked him too.
Looking up at him when he's like this is simply unreal. There's no other way of describing it in her eyes except for that. He's so stunning, she's inclined to believe that he isn't even real as a means of explaining it. This shouldn't be real. It should be one of her daydreams while she steals covert stares at him as they hang out with the Pogues, but it isn't. She can't wrap her head around it.
Those strands of hair that were damp from the rain are mostly dry as they fall into his eyes with the force of his movements. The sight of him alone, set aside from the rest of it, is enough to make her writhe beneath him and claw at his back in tandem with another thrust that sends her jolting against the rug.
He takes one of his hands up from where they both held her hips for leverage to weave his fingers into the roots of her hair.
He demands between the panting breaths and moans that flood the limited space between them, tugging on her hair, "Answer me."
She instantly blurts out the words, "I want him to see us." The feeling of him tilting her head back by the fistful of hair he has wrapped up in his hand is her persistent reminder to concentrate enough to continue, and she bites down on her lip to contain a moan before speaking again, "I want him to know..."
Her cheeks burn with the mere thought of it, let alone saying it out loud. He's the only person she'd ever let in on this intimate side of her, the side that makes her crazy when she hears him say stuff like this. The reason she feels so comfortable doing this with him is that she knows he understands her. It's as if he can read her mind without even having to try, knowing exactly what to say and when to say it.
It wouldn't matter if the topic of their exhibitionism were any other Pogue or a stranger, it isn't about who it is, it's about the thrill attached to the concept of almost getting seen during such a heated moment. In all actuality, John B is probably snoring face down into his pillow right now with no care for what's happening out here, but he knows what it does to her when they push the boundaries of decency this way. It's the same rush he gets from stealing random, useless things every so often, it's the thrill of getting away with something.
The hand tangled up in the roots of her hair sneaks down between their colliding bodies to rub her clit, and her mouth drops open to take in a shaky breath.
The sight of her beneath him is undoing in and of itself. Head tilted enough to expose her neck to him, chest rising and falling rapidly with her breaths, and breasts bouncing gently with the momentum of their actions—seeing her this way makes his thrusts ramp up into more of a frenzied, uncontainable pace rather than one with the same control and cadence as before. But it's mostly the eye contact that kills him. She doesn't dare to shut her eyes the entire time, as if she can sense that he'll tell her to look at him again the second she does.
"You want him to know what?" he asks, and she knows he won't let her get away with not saying it.
She whines, utterly helpless to the climax starting to build inside of her, "Please."
What she's pleading for, she isn't quite sure, but he can tell by how she's acting that she's starting to get closer, and he wants nothing more than to tease her with the impending chance of her orgasm.
"If you wanna come, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that."
Just like that, he withdraws his hand from between them and leaves her desperate, blindly grasping for the peak she was so close to reaching, she could almost feel it already.
With JJ rocking into her at a relaxed, slower rhythm, the pleasure hasn't disappeared completely. It's there, but she can sense the feeling of her orgasm receding as quickly as it had creeped up on her as soon as he slips his hand out from between them.
It's instantly clear to him how desperate she is as all of her previous shyness surrounding having to admit this to him out loud withers away in seconds. She isn't beneath begging again at this point. He could tell her to crawl across the floor to him and she'd happily do it for the chance of touching him. It's pathetic but true. As much as she has him wrapped around her finger, he has done the same to her and she isn't afraid to admit it anymore.
Her hips jerk toward him in search of the familiar frenzy they were in before that sent her to the brink of climax, but he is impressively stubborn. Despite the fact that it physically pains him to dial it back again, he tries to keep the signs of his own frustration at bay. She knew what she had to say to get what she wants, so he'll only cave when she does.
This time around, she doesn't give a fuck about how badly she blushes or the voice in the back of her mind telling her she should keep this side of her to herself. This time, the one thing she needs to do to prompt her to open her mouth and speak the dirty words he asked her less than a moment ago is look at him. One second of staring up at him and here she is, driven mad enough to say or do anything to get him to pick up where they left off.
She says between the soft noises and breaths coming from them both, clinging to him through every slow but deep thrust that sends sparks ricocheting through her body, "I want John B to know I like getting fucked like slut." Her voice is breathless, and he hangs off of each word as she pauses, looking up at him with a challenging attitude swirling in those pretty eyes. "So stop being a tease and fuck me like one."
His jaw clenches at the bratty statement, one he's too far gone to resist at this point, and right when he's about to respond to her, she speaks again.
"Either that," she says, and a deceptively sweet smile crosses her kiss-swollen lips, "or I can go ask him to—"
She doesn't even get the chance to voice the rest of that thought before he's set into motion.
The hands on her hips flip her over with such casual strength, all she can do is yelp in surprise at the sudden movement that blurs the living room in her peripheral version until she lands with her hands and knees pressing into the rug. He was so swift in pulling out of her and tossing her onto her front like she was nothing more than a rag doll, she hardly had the time to take a breath before she ended up here.
There's hardly any time between when he pulled out to flip her over and when he returns to her again, but it feels like an eternity for them. The few second transition might as well be a few years as she feels his hands guiding her body where he wants it, pushing down on her back until it arches just so, and falls down onto her arms. But as soon as she gets situated, she feels a pair of hands yanking her arms away from where they were braced against the floor and put them behind her back.
It's only then, when he has an unflinching grasp on where he keeps her wrists behind her back with one of his hands, that she is met with the relief of him sinking into her again.
Y/N's jaw goes slack, and she cries out into the rug that her cheek is pressed into as he gives her no chance to adjust or catch her breath before resuming the brutal pace they kept a moment ago. Mentioning anyone else but him doing this to her was the quickest way to get him to snap, so it's safe to say that she's getting what she wanted. After all, she did what he asked, it's fair that she gets rewarded for it.
Amidst the sounds of the storm waging war on the landscape outside of the house, the one thing she can hear over the buzzing pleasure that drowns out her senses is the sinful blend of sounds they create together. It's the sound of their bodies merging, his name falling from her lips, and the curses he makes under his breath that never fail to drive her a little wild.
The hand that isn't holding her arms behind her slides down the length of her curved back until it wraps around her throat to pin her down, and her reaction is everything he could ask for. Seeing her rock back against him to meet him halfway makes his grip on her wrists tighten enough to turn his knuckles white.
Her hair is spread in endless directions in a fan around her head, and he can only see one side of her face from where he kneels behind her, but that glimpse is more than enough. Brows scrunched in pleasure, mouth dropped open in a gape as soft 'uh's and 'ah's escape her on the upstroke of each thrust—she's a mess right now. A beautiful, perfect mess.
"Oh God, JJ," she moans between her rapid breaths and the strong hand constricting her neck, "I'm so close. Please, just let me come."
It took virtually nothing for her to be pushed right back to the edge of the peak she was at less than a minute ago. It took a mere half-minute of this and she's once again reduced to incoherent pleas for more and shaking with no control over herself. Her legs tremble with the effort to keep herself up in this position, and she isn't even the one doing most of the work. In all fairness, this change in position has made the intensity triple. It's deeper this way, and with how harshly he slams into her, it's as though she can feel it in the base of her abdomen.
It's the enjoyable type of pain, however, not the bad type. It'll surely end up with her being sore tomorrow, but she can't hide how much she loves the painful pleasure of how rough it's getting. Being denied an orgasm when she was so, so close to it was initially disappointing too, but it was worth it. If the build up to what would've been her climax before was a spark, this is a flourishing fire spreading through her with no chance of smothering the flames.
He lets go of her throat and taps the side of her jaw in a silent request that she picks up immediately, letting her lips fall open to suck his fingers into her mouth without a second of hesitation.
The taste of her arousal on them is faint, but still there, and it occurs to her that she thought about this earlier before things evolved into chaos. Her tongue swirls around the tips of his fingers as he starts to pull them away in what feels like the blink of an eye to her, leaving him to remember what it felt like when her lips were once wrapped around a more sensitive part of him a week and a half ago.
The one other time he let himself remember it was when they were on the boat with the Pogues, yet that wasn't really of his own volition. It was hot out, so Kiara bought ice pops for them and his mind wandered far from where it should've stayed.
Shining with her saliva, his fingers are pulled from her lips with a soft 'pop' in pursuit of that sensitive collection of nerves at the apex of her thighs. She just needs is a little push to go over the edge, and when he slips his hand down her body to rub tight circles onto her clit, she loses whatever remnants of control over herself she had left.
The steady rhythm of her hips moving back against him falters as she is overwhelmed with the separate sensations culminating into one and giving her the push she needs to come. Her entire body tenses up in anticipation, and since she's pinned to the floor with her hands behind her back, she can only lay there and savor the feeling as it hits her.
After what felt like ages of having it build and build within her, then having it taken away to start the process over again, finally being given a release is a relief beyond any she's felt before.
It's so consuming, it takes away her ability to think of anything outside of how it feels to dissolve into the shockwaves of euphoria rushing through her. Every pulsing wave is prolonged by him, not even through the peak of it does he let up on his precise touches and unforgiving thrusts into her that turn a typical orgasm into the most intense thing she's ever felt.
She's melting in his arms through it all, and as if the change in position didn't make it worse, her involuntary spasms leave him hanging on by a thread.
JJ collapses onto her, barely having the chance to keep himself propped up on his arms as he lets go of her wrists and falls forward onto her sweat-slick back.
The heat of his panting exhales raises goosebumps in its wake where his face is buried into the curve of her neck, and he whines at the impossibly tight feeling of her squeezing around his cock through the end of her climax. Those sounds he doesn't realize he's making have her writhing through the aftershocks, answering with a sound of her own that almost makes him come instantly.
For that reason, he makes the decision to pull out and flip her onto her back.
At this point, she's so dazed and fucked out that she doesn't register any of it until she notices the hollow absence of him inside of her, but it doesn't matter when his face appears through the partial darkness above her.
Despite how sensitive she is right now, the sight of him makes her hands reach out blindly to pull him closer again. They're frantic in their need to get back to one another, grasping and clawing until he finds his way back to her in less than a second, hiking her legs up around his waist with a touch that is somehow demanding and tender at the same time.
It's only when he's inside of her again that it occurs to her why he rolled her onto her back again, and it makes her want to kiss him until her lips turn numb. It may be undeniably hotter to pin someone down and fuck them hoarse, but, no, that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be able to look at her, to see her face, and the thought of that has her biting back a sudden confession of love. She isn't sure why she doesn't say it right away, since it isn't like they haven't already done it, but she keeps it to herself for a second first.
It's different now. It's not less passionate or frenetic. It isn't as if he isn't being as rough with her as he was before, but they can both sense a shift in the energy between them as soon as he reenters her. It's less about the pursuit of pleasure and more about the feelings they've kept hidden away for so long. It's a simultaneous realization that hits them a little late after they initially confessed their feelings for each other: this is reality. It's real, and when she touches him this time, he isn't going to disappear if she opens her eyes.
The realization of what happened tonight had yet to hit them until right this second, but now that it has, they move forward with a sense of sentimentality that remained partly dormant before.
If there's anything JJ dislikes, it's being vulnerable. The idea of letting someone in to see every part of him, including the parts he doesn't want to see of himself, has always terrified him after years of being made to believe he's undeserving, yet he isn't uncomfortable right now. Somehow, he feels safe with her. Sex has never been something so emotional for him until now, until her, and he doesn't want it differently.
Their bodies are drawn in close, her arms thrown around his neck, and he's so close, he can feel the muscles leading down past his lower abdomen contract with the inevitable approach of his orgasm. She can sense it too in how he acts.
When he gets close, he becomes clingier and lets his feelings get the better of him. His hands squeeze at her hips, sliding up her sides and back down to hike one of her legs up high around his waist to press deeper into her. He can't bear to allow his touch to stay in one place for too long before exploring another part of her, wanting to memorize the delicate intricacies of her body in its entirety.
It's as if she can read his mind too, cause even when she's sensitive enough to gasp when he pushes her thigh to her chest and throws his remaining energy into fucking her at a satisfying pace, she understands what he needs. She knows to reach up and run her fingers through his hair, to tug on it gently until the light strands are taut from his scalp. She knows to lift her head off of the floor enough to trail tender kisses along his face, his jaw, his neck—anywhere she can access.
"Come for me," she says into a kiss placed on the edge of his cheekbone, reeling in overstimulation as she jolts with his quickening thrusts, "I want to watch you..."
Hearing those words, paired with the kisses and fingers pulling on his hair, does it for him. It doesn't take more for his hips to falter and jerk forward into her a final few times before he comes.
Their foreheads press together as they cling to one another for stability, though it's mostly JJ clinging to her while she watches in adoration, and she has to bite her lip to contain a moan at how it feels. The aftershocks of her orgasm have yet to fade as the feeling of pulsing warmth inside of her makes them stronger, reigniting the fire she felt a moment ago if only for a second.
There's a closeness to this situation that they hadn't felt the last time, and they know it has everything to do with what was said before this happened. The sex itself feels like a dream sequence in her mind now that she's coming down from it with him, moving together slowly and gently beneath the candlelight until they ride out the ends of their highs. It was like they were put under a trance by each other, and now that it's over, the first thoughts that come to mind are of what comes next.
It's not the sole topic on their minds though. They're more focused on catching their breath from where they lay, tangled up together, on the living room floor. As soon as the very last of his orgasm faded from him, he fell onto her without a single ounce of energy left to spare. He's careful not to crush her, but, for the most part, he relaxes on top of her and lets his head rest on her heaving chest.
Strong arms slip down to loop around her waist, and she sure that she couldn't get him to release her if she wanted to, which she doesn't.
But they can't stay like this, not for any longer than a few moments anyway, since they don't know how if John B might wake up and come out of the safety of his bedroom after hours of leaving them to their own devices. JJ was right. He's out cold, but for as much as it turned them on in the heat of the moment, neither of them finds getting caught by him as hot with the clarity of their rational minds coming back to them.
He's the one to break the silence.
"As much as I wanna stay like this, we should probably move in case John B wakes up."
The sound of his voice settles in her with the effects of a sedative. It calms her more than anything else could, especially with the added comfort of him cuddling her so closely. One of her hands strokes through his hair and pushes the damp tendrils of sunshine away from his face as he cranes his neck to look up at her. And, for fuck's sake, what else is she to do except admire him?
His cheeks are dusted pink in a way they often are when he spends too much time outside without one of his hats shielding his face, and she thinks he's never looked better.
Ever since they became friends, she's had this theory about him. In the unrealistic landscape of her overactive imagination, JJ didn't come to this world the way the rest of them did. To her, it seems impossible that someone so good, even in his worst moments, could've come from someone like his dad.
So, in idle moments where she would watch him on a day out with the Pogues or daydream about him, she decided that he's the sun.
She imagines he was created in those breathtaking but brief moments where the sun meets the horizon atop the ocean and washes the sky with a vast array of colors. She likes to think he's the incarnation of it. Golden, warm, and bright for everyone but himself, he keeps the world light for her and their friends without intending to.
Some days are warmer than others too. Some days, the light is dimmed by another bruise beneath his clothes or a bad run-in with some kooks, but today is not like that. This moment is eighty-five and sunny with a balmy breeze. Looking at him right now feels like basking in the sun, and she'd burn here forever if he let her.
Without realizing she zoned out, she jolts when he pinches her arm to rouse her from her ridiculous thoughts. He has this dopey half-smile on his face that nearly draws her back into them again.
"You know what they say," he says, "if you take a picture..."
Her soft laughter invades the room, filling his heart with this light, fluttery feeling that always finds him when she's near. His smile grows as she playfully shoves him and reaches above their heads for her wet shirt to cover up with just in case. Odds are, their friend isn't waking up at the exact moment before they seclude themselves to the spare room and get dressed, but she doesn't wanna take that chance.
"I wasn't staring."
She was totally staring. But who could blame her? When someone looks at a person the way he looks at her, how could they ever stay away?
"Whatever you say."
JJ keeps smiling to himself while he pulls his underwear and shorts up his legs and waits for her to be decent enough to sneak past John B's bedroom to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.
The clothes are soaked through with rainwater, so they feel quite uncomfortable to slip back on, but they merely redress enough to be covered. She stole his shirt to avoid putting her shorts back on, the hem of the grey tee hanging right at the tops of her thighs when she walks. As soon as she slips her panties back on and picks up the rest of their cold, wet clothes, that's the cue he needs to scoop her up and take her away.
Y/N curses under her breath in surprise at feeling her feet being plucked off the ground, but she relaxes again once she's settled in his arms, realizing that it was just him who snuck up behind her and lifted her into his arms.
She doesn't say anything on the way to the bathroom. Instead, she lays her head on his shoulder in exhaustion and finds herself staring at the mark she left behind on his neck.
It's a deep, purplish red against the backdrop of his tan skin...the Pogues will surely notice the next time they see him. And while it will make her blush, it won't make her scared as it once would've. There may be a lingering sense of doubt and insecurity within her, but she wants this with him. Even if it means being teased by their friends or dealing with the jealousy of watching kook girls and tourons at parties hit on him, she wants this.
By the time the shower is spraying the rainwater from her hair and washing her clean of sweat sticking to her skin, she realizes that he isn't saying anything either, but she doesn't think it's out of any awkwardness or miscommunication. There's truly nothing to say, at least for now.
Though they didn't have the chance to talk in depth about everything yet, neither of them thinks of that right now. All they know is that they're together, whether it be officially or not, and it feels good. For once, something in his life feels right, and he lets himself enjoy it in silence.
The shower is a cramped space when shared between them and the wet clothes they have draped over the back edge of the tub, but they make it work. It's not like they mind anyway.
They bump into one another whenever they do so much as breathe, and the white walls echo the sounds of her giggling when he tries to tickle her. She leans her head back against his chest and lets out a laugh with shampoo dripping down the front of her face, and he'll be damned if he ever heard a sound as intoxicating as that.
It's a little weird. He's never been as soft and loving with a person before, and he has already felt overwhelmed in the lulls of quiet between them when he's given the chance to think about it.
When she washes his hair for him, insisting that she must return the favor after he so kindly washed hers, he was struck with the same mixture of wanting to simultaneously lean into and pull away from her that he felt the night of the party.
The warmth of the water loosens his sore muscles, washing suds of the green apple scented shampoo over his shoulders and down, down, down until it circles the drain beside his feet. All the while, her fingertips are delicately tracing over a healing bruise on his torso. Those pretty lips of hers are painted in a suppressed frown that she can't hide from him.
"Are you okay?" Y/N asks.
His instant reaction is to fake a smile, to brush it off and distract her as he usually does, yet he doesn't. He forces himself to remain neutral and not push her away.
"Happens all the time," he murmurs, shrugging and averting his eyes to reach for the soap off on the ledge.
The hands holding either side of his waist tighten as he tries to turn, pulling him back to her with more strength than he knew to anticipate from her. Their chests gently collide back together beneath the stream of water, and she can feel his breathing catch for a second or so in response.
The fact that their relationship has changed doesn't change how she handles this aspect of his life. Their new confessions don't have an impact on the part of his life he never wants to let anyone see, so she isn't going to force him to talk about it because they're trying out this whole relationship thing now. He has hard boundaries that she knows not to push sometimes. That's the way it is, and it might change as they grow closer but she knows to accept it for the moment.
As soon as he hears what she has to say next, he could crumble in relief at the realization that their new dynamic doesn't change anything.
"I didn't necessarily mean...that...I meant generally, you know? It's just that—" she sighs, "you shrink away a little when I hold you, and I wondered if I was making you uncomfortable."
Before she could finish the sentence, JJ was already thinking of what to say to prove her wrong, because that's not it. That's not what it is, and if she thinks she's done anything wrong, he'll do anything to convince her otherwise because it isn't her. It's him.
It's his dad lingering in the darker trenches of his mind, commanding his fear and attention so that even when he isn't physically present, he's still here. Part of why he denied wanting her was because he knew these types of things would arise in the beginning, that there would be difficult adjustments to make and conversations to be had, and he didn't want her to leave him as soon as she was faced with one of these things.
He shakes his head.
"You didn't do anything."
The feeing of her chest rising and falling with his begins to steady him after a moment of allowing the initial hesitation to dissolve. His internal reaction to her touch is the mental incarnation of a flinch. It's him waiting for the other shoe to drop and expecting her to do something, to hurt him, before his mind catches up with his heart. But once he realizes everything's okay, he loves it.
"It's kinda embarrassing, but I guess when you touch me, I'm expecting something else," he says softly, scared that if he speaks too loudly, everyone in the world will know how weak he feels.
She should've figured, but hearing him say it is different than wondering what the reasoning behind it is. Hearing him admit it after months of strict avoidance on the topic is a sucker punch to the gut.
Both times they had sex, he was too distracted and thoughtless to get caught up in that part of himself, but it's when the bliss of the afterglow disappears that it creeps back in. That's why he could always handle touch when it came in that context. It was his way of obtaining what he wanted without having to face this side of it—a temporary fix to a greater web of issues.
But there's nothing temporary about her. He doesn't want her to leave him, not without him resisting the urge to beg her on his knees to stay and at least remain his friend, so there's no choice but to face these momentary challenges head on.
She pauses for a second, thinking, then says, "You don't have to be embarrassed about it, I get it. We'll just have to take it day by day then. We can take it slow, and you'll let me know if it gets to be too much, okay?"
It's hard not to be shocked by how well she's taking it. A lot of people probably wouldn't feel too great after someone they love tells them they expect to be hit whenever they touch them, yet she's taking it in stride.
Things are back to normal as soon as she sees the grin on his face.
"So, you're saying you're gonna be trying not to throw yourself at me all the time?" JJ asks, then clicks his tongue as though in thought. "I give you a week. Tops."
Her eyes go wide as she looks at him. She holds her hand over her heart as she pretends to be scandalized by such an accusation, but they know it's true. They both can't keep their hands off of one another, which is why it confuses him. How can he want to reject and enjoy her touch at the same time? Sure, the discomfort disappears after the first split-second, but the fact that it happens in the first place annoys him to no end.
She rolls her eyes and tries to hide the fact that she's giggling as she reaches for the soap.
"You're a little shit, you know that?"
He doesn't miss a beat, saying back, "Yeah but I'm your little shit, so I feel like that says more about you than it does me."
While he's too busy rinsing the rest of the shampoo out of his hair, she smiles to herself at what he said.
Hers.
Nobody has ever been hers before, or proclaimed themselves as belonging to her as proudly and casually as he just did, and her heart melts over the sweet sentiment he didn't think twice about.
Less than a day ago, she was agonizing over her relationship with him and trying to ignore how powerful those feelings for him were, and now they're here. She no longer has to steal glances when he looks away or hide how jealous she feels when other girls flirt with him. To finally let the tension disappear is an immense weight off of her shoulders.
The rest of the shower is as quiet as the start of it was, and that comfortable silence continues through from when they're drying off and redressing to when they hit the mattress in the spare bedroom with tired sighs.
After the day they had, the mere suggestion of sleep is enough to make them start yawning, so being able to slip beneath the sheets and rest their heads almost sings her to sleep instantly.
Their bodies are laying in the exact outlines of where they laid the night of the party, the only difference this time being their mindsets. This time around, they aren't holding themselves back from anything, and it's most evident in the little things. Like how she doesn't turn around to shield her face from him, instead laying with her head propped on the other end of his favorite pillow.
They're so close, their noses brush if they make any slight movements, and this would be enough for him to submit to the urge to drift into sleep if not for the fact that he feels her jolt when thunder rumbles loudly outside of the window.
Much like his own fears being pushed to the side amidst their desire for each other, her anxiety about the storm wasn't on her mind until they laid down to sleep.
She was so wrapped up in him and everything that happened between them that she didn't have the time to think again until now, until she hears the violent patter of rain against the roof and feels her stomach drop at the sound of the thunder. Suddenly, she's not the one reassuring him about his fearful reactions, it's the other way around.
His warm hand takes hers, snatching it up as though he's worried it'll disappear if he doesn't take it quickly enough, and she lets him. Her eyes flutter shut with the release of a slow, deep breath, and she lets the presence of his hand in hers bring her back to earth.
JJ asks into the darkness, "Can I take you out on a real date?" After a beat of silence, the comforting sound of his voice returns to her. "Not that this isn't fun, but I think you deserve a little more effort than John B's living room floor."
A short-lived chuckle escapes her—a win as far as he's concerned. It's difficult to lure her head from the clouds when she gets this way, and it isn't like he has much experience with calming her during these moments either, but that sounded good to him. It sounded like she wasn't thinking about the increased pace of her heart or the howling wind outside.
He was planning on asking anyway. However fitting of a first night together this was, he wants to take her out for real sometime soon. He doesn't have much money for it, like at all, but they can come up with something special together, even if it's similar to the same shit they usually do together. As long as it's time alone together, they don't necessarily care if it's a perfectly traditional first date.
The tip of his thumb rubs comforting circles onto the back of her hand in the brief time it takes her to respond, stroking the soft skin as if to tell her that everything's okay. It seems to say, I'm right here. Nothing can hurt you. And it might make her crazy, but she believes him. JJ could take her back out into the eye of the hurricane at this very moment and she'd still believe his unspoken promise of not letting her into harm's way.
"Of course," she says, then pauses, and the sound of her sleepy voice hardly reaches his ears when she speaks again, "...I'm sorry I avoided you for the past few days. I was scared to tell you how I felt but I shouldn't have left that morning."
The memory of waking up in his arms is fresh in the forefront of her mind, so much so that she can remember the way his breath felt where it exhaled in warm puffs onto her skin.
In the first few moments of consciousness, it was peaceful.
She laid awake for a minute or two to count his breaths and soak in the comfort of being cuddled up next to him, wishing she could stay there for hours. It wasn't until another moment passed that it clicked with her where she was and what was going on between them recently, and that was what prompted her to slip away from the bed to get ready for her day at work.
It was the second time in a row that she left him in that bed with nothing to wake up to but the cold absence of her body between the sheets he slept under, and he can't deny that it's part of why he holds onto her hand so tightly tonight. Even though she's promised him otherwise, he can't help but think she'll be gone by the time he wakes up. At this point, he's struggling to stay conscious. She can see those pretty eyes drooping more and more by the second, yet the hand holding hers doesn't loosen its grip.
He takes a deep breath and scoots closer to her, keeping his one hand in hers while the other arm drapes itself over her waist, and he can feel her relax into the touch.
"It's okay," he says.
It's easier for him to adjust to so much physical contact when he's the one initiating. He knows that's why she only reached out to hold his hand. If she had it her way, she would've already been cuddling with him as soon as they laid down, but he likes that she gives him the space to initiate it. In the ways it counts the most, she cares about him more than anyone else has.
The touch in itself is his way of accepting her apology. However, truth be told, he already forgave her for it before knowing his love was reciprocated could be a possibility.
Right when she's about to fall asleep, the screen door slamming open and shut with the wind on the back porch makes her whip her head around to look over her shoulder in the direction of the sound. It seems like every time he successfully distracts her from it, the storm finds new ways of reminding her of what's happening outside of the safety of the Chateau.
There's the sound of a barely audible, sharp inhale, then her whispering into the dark room as she looks at the closed door, "I can't believe I went out into that. What the fuck was I thinking?"
It's beginning to close in on her again; the sounds of the storm, the sense of being trapped no matter how safe they truly are, and the rising tidal wave of anxiety that picks up speed the more she tries to will it to stop. This is the part where she tries to relieve it in some way, usually by smoking weed to sleep or going to one of her parents so they can help her through it, but she can't help herself right now.
Debris was being picked and tossed around in the wind like it weighed nothing when she was out there, she could've been knocked into the marsh or struck by a piece of debris.
How could she be so stupid?
Not only could she have hurt herself, she could've hurt JJ knowing that he'd likely follow her out into the storm to bring her back inside, and the thought of him being hurt makes the tension in her chest heavier. Her breathing picks up speed, the anxiety starting to snowball out of control when—
"Hey, look at me," JJ says, reaching up to turn her head to face him, and she damn near crumbles in relief at feeling his hand cup her cheek. It doesn't make it all disappear, but it provides a momentary comfort that she doesn't take for granted. "You're safe here. You know damn well I'll do anything to protect you. I mean, shit, dude, if I have to go out there and tell that rain to fuck off, I will."
This draws out a laugh from her, chest stuttering with the happy sound through the tears glistening in her eyes, and he never wants to stop hearing it. His thumb swipes away the first teardrop that falls before it can slip over the apples of her cheeks. I'm Her quiet cries and shaky breaths continue for a while after the laughter disappears. For a second or two, he watches with his thumb still wiping her tears away and hopes that it'll be enough to comfort her, but it can't do it completely.
He pulls away from her to get up from the bed with an idea popping into his mind, but upon hearing her whine at the loss of contact with him, he pauses to say, "I'll be back quick, don't worry."
The remaining humorous side of her left wonders if he's actually gonna go tell the rain to fuck off, but he's just opening the bedroom door to trot out into the living room.
A candle burning on the coffee table illuminates the space for him, guiding him straight to the forgotten backpack she left slumped against the arm of the couch hours before their relationship was changed for the better. It takes him an instant to get there and back with the bag in hand, and he's digging through it for a second before climbing back into bed with her.
If anyone else rifled through her bag, sifted through her personal belongings, and dug her phone out of it, she'd probably be annoyed, but she never is with him. She's inherently protective of her things, but JJ can do whatever he wants and it has always been that way. It should've been the first warning of what was to come.
He pulls the sheet back over his body and scoots up close to her, trying to resist the urge to retreat at first when he maneuvers her to lay with her head on his shoulder. It should trigger the flight or fight response that often alarms in his head, but he's able to push it away.
She's so vulnerable right now, so gentle and in need of the warmth of another person that he isn't as intimidated. It's not that she couldn't hurt him if she wanted to right now, she could, but he knows her. He knows that the last thing she'd ever want to do is hurt him, so he has to remind himself of that and give himself the permission to enjoy the physical intimacy of her touch. The part of him that questions if he even deserves it can't reach him now, not when he's so focused on her.
"Thumb?" he asks with the phone held out expectantly.
The screen is less than two inches from her face, so she has to push it back slightly, but she flattens her thumb to the button without further hesitation.
When he unwraps the pair of headphones from around the palm of his hand and plugs them into the charging port, she realizes why he left in the first place.
When she was facing away from him, eyes shut and headphones in to distract herself with music earlier, he was stealing glances at her every so often. He tried to keep away from her for the most part. It was difficult though, especially knowing what she said about being jealous the night of the party and knowing how scared she was of the hurricane. He couldn't help but keep an eye on her, for both his own selfish needs and his worry for her.
He keeps an arm tucked around her, pressing her body into his while he pops one of the headphones into her ear and the other into his. The thing is, her eyes aren't trained on the screen like his are once he starts looking through her vast collection of not-so-legally acquired music for a song that suits both of their tastes, they're trained on him.
Their taste in music tends to diverge in certain ways and overlap in others, so there's always a fifty/fifty shot of him liking what she plays when she's the one picking the music. That is why he smiles to himself and halts the endless scrolling in its tracks to hover his thumb over one song.
He obviously heard it before she played it that one time, but it's different for him now. They were riding together in the backseat of the Twinkie on the way to the beach with John B, Kie, and Pope when they let her take her turn to play a song.
That's how it is with them, the driver goes first, then it goes to the front seat passenger, and so on and so on until they make their way back to the beginning of the rotation. It was her turn when she picked this song, and it could've been the song, or the sunset shining through the window, but he felt as though his heart exploded when he looked at her in the middle of it.
He remembers feeling confused, confused as to why he couldn't catch his breath and why he suddenly adored the song he only heard casually a couple of times.
It was her. It was everything about her. The soft hum of her voice murmuring the lyrics, too shy to actually sing them in the presence of anyone else, was too delicate for the others to appreciate over the sounds of the van. He heard it though. He clung to it and admired her, so unashamed in his staring that he didn't realize he was doing it. It wasn't until she noticed that he stopped.
"Do I still have ice cream on my face or something?"
Her fingers came up to wipe at the corner over her mouth, and the action sent him turning his attention away quicker than he knew he could move, pulling the lighter out of his pocket to fiddle with as he mumbled, "Yeah, but you got it off now."
The cheery melody of Just Like Heaven bursts out of each headphone into their ears.
How did he know? How is he constantly reading her mind without realizing it?
This was her first song on the couch that she couldn't stand to sit through without thinking, naturally, of him when confronted with the topic of love. Somehow, it's like he knew that, and instead of feeling exposed and scared he'll know her feelings like before, she feels loved.
She is never skipping this song again.
"Go to sleep," he murmurs, clicking the screen off and resting it on his stomach.
It takes him a short thirty seconds to fall into an easy, calm pattern of breathing that tells her he isn't asleep, but soon will be. But she's fighting her sleepiness to continue looking at him. His eyes are fluttered shut, hair messy on the pillow, and she'd want to reach up to kiss him if he weren't trying to fall asleep.
Instead, she settles for matching her quickened breaths to the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath her hand and shuts her eyes along with him.
By the time the song reaches its end, she thinks he's asleep, but she still whispers, "Thank you," and feels his arm squeeze around her body in response.
The next songs fade into white noise at this point for her, drowning out the storm to the point where she begins to forget it's happening out there.
Maybe they can be each other's safe place when things get rough. After all, he handled this wonderfully considering his lack of experience with her anxiety and she never pushes him on his plethora of unsorted issues, even when she wants so badly to be the one to initiate the touch.
She never makes him think she pities him, or wants to "fix" him like so many partners with savior complexes who will never try to understand how it feels often do in these situations. With each other, maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated anymore, even when they have those inevitable arguments here or there.
The last thing he does before allowing himself to be dragged under is brush his lips on her forehead in a tender kiss. And when he eventually wakes to the rising sun shining through the windows in the aftermath of the violent hurricane, she's still there.
Tag List: @jjjmaybank, @its-simply-fanfiction, @naughtydild0swaggins.
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sepia-mahogany · 3 years
Text
Platonic Hanahaki
The stories are just as widely known, of loving and losing, of yearning and forgetting, common in present time as they were years ago, of loving someone so deeply, without desire but not without passion, of kings and warriors, of lovers and brothers, of people not kin not lovers, growing in their lungs the flowers with thorns that cut deep, and drank away their blood without leaving any survivors.
Of course the tales are many, as tragic as they are, of how a man who killed his beloved for making him feel what he deemed unnecessary, his beloved who offered him a little white carnation, covered red in blood, but he held up his sword and cut through flesh, only to follow few days later in his grief.
Or of how a woman travelled across seas, in search of her soulmate, for the agony of her blood kept her comfort, for the heartbeat that echoed along with the garden she grew inside her lungs, because it meant her beloved was well, until one day, she coughed up a black rose and sank to her knees, disappearing from the world.
Of course, there were the ones who lived and got their happy ends, filled with their beloved ones caress or tears of guilt, and so was recorded, the flowers turning to dust and fading away, for their love had been acknowledged, so why the need for the reminder in their veins? Only marks appear on their skin, the place where they first made contact, sometimes the cheek, sometimes the hand, sometimes unseen under the clothes from when they rough-housed as kids.
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Jiang Fengmian closed the book that he read, the pain blossoming sharp in his lungs, since that night when he sat, staring at the lotuses under the moonlight, his mind drifting to moments of the past, of longing of what once was, Lotus Pier once his home, felt more like a shackle around his wrists, yet this was his responsibility and he would bear the weight.
He thought to the day he waved away his dearest friend, the one by his side since they were young and grown into the men they were today, and as life went on, it was natural and it was expected, so Fengmian had not been forlorn but rather joyfully wished them well with sincerity and hoped they could visit some time in the future.
He was happy for Changze, for he had found his One, he’d seen the way he looked at her and she at him, he may have held affections for one of them but his love for their friendship outweighed it, and he would be content if they were healthy and successful in the path they chose, but even he knew with their own busy lives, it would be difficult to meet for a long time, so he bid them farewell and cherished their memories.
He didn’t feel as disappointed over his marriage as he originally did, it might have been arranged because of Meishan Yu Sect’s pressuring and his mother’s continuous desire for wanting one of theirs to be his bride, ‘to be the stern hand to his mellowness’ she had said, and what kind of a filial son would he be if he broke the betrothal off now?
And it was not as if he knew the Third Lady of Meishan Yu personally, seeing his brother-in arm’s relationship, his heart could not help but swell with hope, perhaps they could come to understand one another? He looked at his flowers, the ones he had grown with them, and the purple lotuses blooming near the entrance and thought, would she notice how the the colour reflected her eyes? Maybe a boat ride would help? Making future plans with anticipation, he felt a smile blooming on his face.
The day of the wedding came and went, except the chambers of the first night of the married couple remained empty, for his wife had requested for separate quarters in the privacy of their room, he agreed, perhaps she was nervous? Knowing each other better was better than consummation with a stranger, he nodded to himself, he should probably help make her comfortable as her husband.
He approached her room after he finished dressing and knocked lightly, and hesitantly called out “Third-lady?” The door opened, by one of the two girl’s Yu Ziyuan had brought over, and he saw his heart skip a beat when he saw her sitting clothed in Yunmeng Jiang’s purple, her violet eyes staring at him, her lips pursed in a line.
“What is it?” she asked, annoyance clear by her expression, he hesitated yet again, perhaps he had come too early? Yesterday had been a busy banquet. “Would you like to come to the pavilion with me today?” her eyes narrowed and he thought he saw a brief anger flash on her face, was she misunderstanding his intentions?? “The flowers are quite beautiful and the weather is quite good today, tea outside seems a calming time, doesn’t it?” he added, trying to make sure his tone did not seem too hurried, except she became even more angry.
Just when he expected her to refuse, she nodded curtly, “What time?” He let out a breath he did not even realise that he was holding, “Whatever seems comfortable.” He smiled at her gently, her eyes roamed over his face once again before she looked away, knowing full well she meant for him to leave, he got up.
He was happy throughout the day and it must have shown on his face, because his right-hand man told him to leave the Sect work to him for today and ‘just go Sect Leader!”, he had prepared the afternoon snacks himself, the place polished and ready for a wonderful evening, despite that, he still could not help but anxiously look over everything as he waited for her arrival, and she arrived, wearing the same robes as she was in the morning.
He got up to extend her seat. “Good Evening, Third-Lady” She had been looking around the garden since she had entered, he thought it out of appreciation, since these were the flowers they cultivated for years, until her eyes landed on him, which held the same anger as they did earlier in the morning. He served her the tea which she held tightly in her hands, and he found himself worrying, “Is something wrong?”
He expected her to say that the tea was not up to her taste at best, he expected her to criticise the garden’s decor at worse, what he had not expected were the words that left her mouth. “So this is the garden you cultivated with that woman? And you dared to bring me, your wife, here on the first day after our marriage?” She hissed, her words crisp and cutting, he felt confusion, followed by horrified upon realisation of the implications. 
“Third-Lady! What are you saying??”
“What am I saying?! Do you deny it? Do you take me for a fool? You married me once you were rejected by her, everyone knows that and you think that I will sit here calmly while being disrespected!? What do you take me for??” She yelled at him, slamming the cup down, he was truly shocked and frozen in his spot looking at her in bewilderment, had that really been what everyone was saying?
However, she took his shocked silence for agreement and got up to leave, “Third-Lady wait! It isn’t as you think, at all! Let me explain, we were friends and nothing else” He saw her pause, her back towards him so he hurried to explain.
“Changze brought her over once, to show her the garden we had cultivated since we were kids.” He paused to take a breath, “The only thing that was planted upon her suggestion were the purple lotuses-” He saw her head tilt as she looked the flowers, with a hopeful heart he thought, ‘maybe..?’ But before he could finish, Yu Ziyuan had turned around, a sneer upon her lips as she trampled upon the flowers next to her.
‘...to be the first thing you see, when you enter the garden.’
She left him staring at the trampled flowers, the tea cup tipped all over the table from when she smashed it in anger, and he sat there, processing what had happened, until a disciple knocked at the door, “Sect Leader?” The disciple peeked inside to catch his eye and stammered, “The meeting is about to begin, some urgent things came up and-” he smiled and replied “Of course, I’ll be on my way.” He sent the disciple off, grabbed a few napkins to clean up the table, and picked up the trampled flowers from the ground.
The days that followed went on without much words spoken between them, he did not dare to make the first move, because if she could misunderstand him in ways to such high extents, he was not sure what she would think if her sent over gifts, even if the thought of sending some crossed his mind, her scowling face and the violet of her eyes reminded him of that day, leading him to stay away.
He entered the garden, as months went by, the flowers that were once blooming wilted, just like everything in life had its end, some more sooner than the others, some caused by another, he thought as his eyes lingered on the place where once the purple lotus flowers stood. 
--------
“She’ll love them!” Cangse Sanren had said with that confident smile of hers, giving him thumbs up with both hands covered in dirt from where she planted her side of the lotuses with Changze, who nodded as well when he looked at him. “The ones on the right are from us, the ones to left were planted by her were own future-husband.” She grinned as he could feel flush creeping up his cheeks, he cleared his throat accompanied by Changze’s fond sigh. 
“She’ll probably melt, Sect Leader Jiang, down on his hands and knees in dirt, planting flowers in her-” Jiang Fengmian cut her off “Okay, enough! Enough!” he muttered, wiping his hands clean and looking at Changze, who only looked the other way as his wife cackled, the traitor. “Besides I plant flowers anyway, so does Changze, it’s not anything special like that.” He said defensively, Cangse Sanren had the audacity to roll her eyes, at Sect Leader, and his own home at that. “Sureee, Fengmian, sure.” 
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When he began to plant new fresh seeds, it took him much longer without Changze doing the other half, now, the thought of even considering Yu Ziyuan to plant the other half seemed laughable, he had been wrong in thinking they could come to understand one another, but now what was done was done, he could not exactly with separate her just within a few months of marriage, so he took a deep breath and decided upon a peace offering.
She was the Violet Spider, with a harsh temper and equally cutting words, what would be a gift that would be to her liking? He did not need to ponder over it for long, because to his surprise, he was approached by her during the evening, when he was alone. “I want to handle the training of the disciples.” She stated more than asked, Jiang Fengmian hesitated, that was a mistake, “What? Don’t think I’m good enough to train Yunmeng Jiangs disciples? Not good enough as your-” he cut her off,
 “No! That’s not what I was thinking-” the original instructor had been hand picked and carried the legacy of his forefathers, how could he alter what was passed down for generations- “Did you speak over me!? Trying to silence me, are you? With how you married me as a substitute for her? Is that not it?? Is that why you’re so hesitant?? Or perhaps is it that I’m a woman and you’re scared-” what?? “My Lady! That’s not it at all! I-”
“Then prove it, or else it's not believable at all, what other reason would you have then, to think that I am somehow inferior in your mind?” Her words dripped with poison, her eyes locking onto him, eyes of a venomous spider, he raised up his hand to massage his forehead. “Its not that simple! The instructing handlers have been passed down through generations, I cannot just change it on a whim.”
And she leaned back, smug as if she had won the argument, “Then perhaps it is not I who is lacking.” He felt cold all over, the anger he felt giving him no warmth, insulting his friends, insulting him, and now his sect. “Third-Lady, please be careful of what you speak, careless words aren’t able to be taken back easily.” Her smile remained, “Who says these are careless words? I mean every one of them, your Sect teachings haven’t produced any excelling disciple for the past years, while other Sect’s flourish, give me the reigns and I’ll show you how its done.”
Not only accepting all her words as intentional, but also implying she could do better than the Jiang Sect’s teachings over hundreds of years, he realised more and more what sort of a person he had been tied down to, would it not be better to just end the marriage? He instead looked over her smug expression and took a deep breath, “Fine, but give me time.” She nodded and left at that, a means to an end, giving her the benefit of the doubt, he did not know at the time, would turn out to be one of his worst mistakes.
It took him months but he managed to get some disciples under Yu Ziyuan, but his concerns were not simply over the teachings, if Yu Ziyuan could act the way she did with him, well with disciples? So he supervised the training lessons, but again to his surprise, other than some curt words, she did not verbally attack them the way she had attacked him, so it wasn’t her behaviour in general, just with him.
Of course he had called over one of the disciples randomly, although nervous and stuttering, the boy had answered that the training was going quite well, and with no reports or complaints in the following months, he could not do anything but let the matter drop, with this however, the matter of their distance remained as it was.
Soon he found that she relocated the aides he had, he had been angry of course, and immediately gone to her. “Where did you send Li Feng and the rest? And with what authority, you have no right-” she cut him off slamming her hands on top of the table. “With authority as your wife!? Or have you forgotten who your wife is?? So what? Can’t I move around servants here??” the anger churned his insides more so than anything else. 
“Those people aren’t servants, Li Feng is my right-hand man, please refer to them respectfully.” He tried to speak as calmly as possible, she glared at him “As the Madam of this house, I can do however I want.” he pinched the bridge of his nose, looked at her, her violet eyes, and exhaled. “Every action I do is met with anger, scorn or contempt,” He began, voice devoid of previous anger, “Then perhaps we should part ways.” He finished and her expression changed.
Out went the anger from her glare, instead for the first time she looked at him with shock instead of rage, and it was the first time he heard her stutter. “F-Fengmian, you can’t…” He looked at her, much relaxed with his mind made up, “Third-Lady, we clearly aren’t meant to be, we are completely different.” He turned his back and made to leave, with his hand on the door handle, “How dare you do this to me?”
Still the same, he closed his eyes, “How dare you, when I work day and night to train your disciples, how dare you, when you agreed to marry me in the first place, if anything, it's all your fault these things happen!” She yelled and he turned to look at her in disbelief, she cried “Why did you marry me if you were going to abandon me later?? How dare you!” she grabbed the nearest object, a cup and threw it at him, but he caught it before it broke.
‘Your fault’ she said, how was it his fault with any of it?? With how she behaved- “Have I caused problems in your Sect?? Have I gone out of my way to harm your people? All I did was rearrange the schedule setting but you seem to think I have committed treason?!”
She looked at him with anger “Did you not approach me first on that day? I was fine in my own quarters but you had to approach me.” He did but it was for purpose of getting to know each other better!
“Then all I asked was to train your disciples, only to get your suspicion” She huffed angrily “Do you think think me blind? That I would not if you called them to check if I was abusing them?? What do you take me for exactly!?” She saw him staring wide-eyed and nodded “You don’t get to ask for separation when I’m one who has suffered, after I’ve worked so hard, you could make some efforts too, if you weren’t so obsessed with that woman, and hate me unreasonably for not being her, then perhaps you would know!” She left, slamming the door behind her.
Her words repeated over and over in his head, ‘your fault’, true he had approached her first that day...but..and again the thing with disciples, he felt guilt creeping up in his heart, he should have tried harder if she misunderstood him, he should have explained it better, in a few days he saw his aides once again under him, but instead of greeting him like they usually did, they looked at him as if a stranger. 
“Is everything alright?” He asked, Li Feng answered “Of course, Sect Leader.” He nodded, not noticing anything odd, except over the next month, he realised they were treating him distantly, he couldn’t share with them what was on his mind, nor any of his opinions, being met with “As Sect Leader wishes.” Was Yu Ziyuan right? Was he the one lacking in communication? But he never had Changze misunderstand him...
In his state, he did not notice rumours spreading about how Jiang Fengmian did not like Yu Ziyuan because he was ‘still in love with another woman’.
Most of time was spent busy with his work, not knowing how to face her again, days became months, he would sometimes reminisce over his past times, feeling guilt weighing him down and pain in his chest, there no reason for him to feel anything out of the ordinary, until one day, when he was sitting in his room while looking down at his garden, the flowers did not bloom, he thought, and he felt a wave of coldness wash over him
Thinking how the once lively Lotus Pier turned into a place of coldness for him, his wife refused to talk to him, his aides and friends looked at him with judgement in their eyes, and then the pain increased unnaturally, until he couldn’t help but take in deep breaths helping to no avail, and then he coughed.
He coughed and coughed until he could feel his lungs bleed and he tasted metal on his tongue, until he could feel thorns scratching his throat as he choked with panic overtaking him, barely able to breath he vomited, instead of feeling his blanket get wet from what he thought was bile, he opened his eyes to be greeted by flowers, lots of carnations, stargazer lilies and purple hyacinths mixed together, covered in blood and vines.
He laughed, he had not laughed since the day he got married to Yu Ziyuan, he laughed and laughed bitterly, tears forming in his eyes, he felt so alone, he thought ‘how good would it be if I could just leave?’, at least, he thought between breaths, at least they are alright, it had been a long time since he had heard from his friends.
--------------------
A year had passed just like that, Yu Ziyuan’s angry scornful comments continued any time he so much as tried to speak to her that he gave up trying, his aides while weren’t exactly the same with him anymore, he did catch them staring at him with concern sometimes, few reassurances had them going back to work.
Hearing knocking at the door, with Yu Ziyuan’s “It’s me”, exhaustion filled him, and his heart skipped a beat with fear, of course it wasn’t that he was afraid of her, but her reaction, her words if she knew, he glanced once at the hiding place of the book and got up to open the door, tired as he did not want to face more of her tirades or whatever she wanted from him.
She walked in, eyes roaming over his room and sat on the edge of his bed, “Fengmian” she began, and he took a deep breath, she wanted to ask for something when she spoke like that, “What is it Third-Lady?” he asked, a bit resigned.
“The people have been talking.” She said a bit curtly, that phrase always sent his thoughts back to when they first talked, and since whenever she uttered it, it was almost always followed by anger, he did not like it at all.
Though reluctant, he still asked weakly “About what, Third-Lady?” she looked away. “Heirs” With that one word, he felt a surge of that unpleasant coldness forming in the pit of his stomach. “‘Heirs?’” he repeated, he had known that one day he would have to consummate their relationship, and he had foolishly avoided it being brought up, with what reason could he deny this?
“Make up your mind, people have been talking, how Fengmian has not touched his wife since her arrival.” She said, turning to look at her, the violet of her eyes made him sick, his thoughts filled with the purple hyacinths covered in blood, he felt breath come short to his lungs. “Give me time, Third-Lady.” He whispered weakly, and winced when he realised it was the wrong thing to say as her expression twisted.
“Do you hear yourself? Always ‘give me time’ whenever I ask you for something, haven’t I given you enough time to come to yourself? Always dazed nowadays!” She snapped and he flinched, “Third-Lady no! I-” She interrupted “Don’t speak over me!” She got up, and walked closer to him, prompting him to take a step back. 
“You, always yearning for your beloved it it?” She sniffed and he felt his heart drop, she couldn’t possibly have known, he went alone and- “You...you had people following me??” He whispered, angered, afraid, he did not know what he was feeling, except that he wanted to be far far away from her. Were it the people he once called his aides? 
“Does it matter? Who knows when you’d meet up with that wh-” He slammed his hand on the door “Third-Lady, please leave.” He said taking in deep breaths to keep the pain at bay, “Just go” He added when a look of anger overcame her yet again “Fengmian you-” he didn’t let her speak. “You want heirs? Heirs right? Let's talk about that later, out” He pointed to the door, she bit her lips but ultimately left, knowing her words wouldn’t be needed any more having accomplished what she came for.
He closed the door and tried to move to the inside of the room, where he coughed, coughed until blood poured down his mouth, blood until the purple flowers fell from his mouth, it was getting worse than before, he huffed and washed clean the blood, washed cleaned the flowers, a drawer he opened, entirely filled with violet flowers, a reminder of the fool he had been. 
He sat on his knees as he stared them, despair heavy on his face,  “Ah Changze, what am I supposed to do?”
So, they shared the moment of what should have been their wedding night, he left as soon as morning came, with the urge to vomit yet again at his throat, and it was not entirely due to the diseases spike, he would hope that was the one and only moment time they would ever have to take part in matrimonial duties, for her cutting words didn’t ever seem to hold back, no matter the occasion.
Months passed and confirmation came that she was with child, it was a relief to him, less about acquiring an heir and more not having to deal with the woman, except in her state she was more unbearable than ever but he couldn’t say anything, for he would be met with her rant of “You did this to me!” From her, he fulfilled her every wish, but he couldn’t think to be with her in the same room for more than a few minutes, without bile rising to his throat.
But when the day of the birth came, he sat as she held his arm, as she screamed in pain, that was the least he could do as her husband, suppressing all moments of disgust he felt upon her touch, and after hours and hours, he got to hold his daughter while her mother took rest, and his heart filled with love, his little one, she was his dearest child, Jiang Yanli.
For a few days, things seemed better, Yu Ziyuan seemed to hold back on her anger, he assumed she had been happy as well, how wrong he had been, when she came to him and spoke about betrothal with her Sworn Sister, Madam Jin of Jin Sect, and he felt disbelief coursing his veins and it was the first time he truly raised his voice at her. “No.” he said firmly, no matter how much she yelled or screamed, he refused.
He had said, “Her marriage will done with her own choice, no matter what.” he thought later that had been a mistake, because Yu Ziyuan started to arrange play-dates between Yanli and the Jin heirs son, he still refused, until Jiang Yanli herself came to him, claiming she loved the boy she saw but barely knew anything of, if she did, she would have seen the disdain the boy held for prospect of marriage, the same disdain he saw in Yu Ziyuan.
The woman came to him again, “A-Li likes him, or are you going to deny what you had said?”  He wanted to argue, Yanli was barely old enough to understand but knowing Yu Ziyuan, he knew there was no way she would give up, so he agreed, hoping to break it off later in the future, when Yanli was old enough to understand, his daughter would know that there was no love lost between her and the boy.
Until her 3rd birthday, when it became more and more obvious that Yanli could not form a core, and Yu Ziyuan’s anger burned again, he tried to keep Yanli around him more than her, but when she came asking to talk to her daughter, as her mother, he could not refuse, his daughter usually looked down instead of looking at her.
One of those days, when Yu Ziyuan had come to ask, Jiang Yanli held tightly on his clothes and looked at him with her light coloured eyes, Ziyuan’s purple reminded him of poison, of those hyacinths in his lungs, and Yanli’s reminded him of those purple lotuses, that he had grown with love, he made an excuse, and the woman huffed away, “Fine, send her over later then.” He did not, “She was tired.” He said calmly, when Yu Ziyuan later yelled at him.
They had to share the bed once more when the question of heirs was brought up, and he had spent the rest of the day in his room, vomiting, sick to his stomach, both the blood and the food, for the first time since Yanli’s birth. As usual, he cleaned up without letting anyone know.
Nearing the evening, he heard a light knock at his door. “Father?” He heard, Yanli call out, he got up to open the door, and invited his little daughter in, “Father’s not well?” she questioned as she climbed up onto his lap, he patted her head lovingly. “Father is okay. A-Li does not have to worry, but he wonders what has she been doing? I saw her go to the kitchen earlier today.” He pretended to be puzzled.
“A-Li learnt how to make soup from Old Fa!” She said excitedly, holding her hands together. “But Mother says its a servant’s job, she doesn’t like it.” She wilted and he looked at her directly. “Father would love to eat a-li’s soup.” She looked at him hopefully, “I know it’d taste delicious!” She cheered up. 
“I made it for father today.” She ran out and came back with a bowl filled with what was..the soup. He drank it anyway and gave a strained smile, “Could use a little less salt” He choked out, and her smile was worth it.
Weeks passed peacefully, he was with Yanli in the kitchen, watching as Old Fa taught her how to knead, cooking was one of the few things that brought a smile to her face, seeing her so excited, he relaxed as well, until Yu Ziyuan joined them, he hadn’t expected her to, given her mindset of it being a servants job,  “A-Li you’re doing it wrong.” She said after watching her for a moment, in the same tone of voice as she used when training disciples.
“A-Xuan won’t like it if all you can do is cook, come with me to the training grounds.” She said, he cut her off “A-Li doesn’t have to do everything for him.” And Yu Ziyuan turned to him “If you want her to do a servant job then that's on you, she’s my daughter too, and as the daughter of Violet Spider, she should be able to fight! Not partaking in these weak acts-” He cut her off “Third Lady! Control your words!”
Before he could say more, soft sniffles cut him off, he looked at his daughter, her hands still inside the dough, tears she was trying to wipe on her shoulder, “Third-Lady is not allowed in the kitchen anymore.” He said and watched Old Fa escort her out, not before Yu Ziyuan shouted, “You cannot keep me from training my daughter!” She yelled as if he had ordered her banishment instead.
“No one is keeping you, if you have nothing good to say to a-li, it's better if you stay away from her, Third-Lady, take the day to cool off” He nodded towards the door, “Fine! If you want your daughter to be a weak-” he cut her off “Third-Lady! Leave.” She threw one last look at them and left fuming.
He knelt next to his daughter, pulled her into a hug. “A-Li is sorry Father!” She sobbed, and rubbed her back “A-Li doesn’t have to be sorry, a-li’s mother should be saying sorry.”
“Mother says father doesn’t like a-li” She said after calming down a bit “Because a-li looks like her mother-” he pulled back to look at her in the eye and enunciated his every word, “A-Li is not her mother, a-li is my beloved daughter, and I love everything a-li does” He told her comfortingly. 
“A-Li is not weak, a-li is peaceful, there is strength in nurturing and kindness.” Yanli finally seemed to calm down, hiccuping but not sobbing anymore, he wiped her tears away and smiled “Father loves a-li a lot.” he said as he kissed the top of her head.
---------
And then the day came when Yanli’s little sibling came into the world, accompanied by just as much of screaming, but less hours lost, Yanli cooed over her little brother, a tiny little thing in her mother’s arms, she reached out and lightly pressed his cheek, “So small.” Her father chuckled and said “A-Li was also this small when she was born.” Yu Ziyuan showed a rare smile as well, “His name will be Jiang Cheng.” She said.
Things went a bit smoothly after that, even though Ziyuan was the same as always Yanli his beloved daughter was eight years old, and his son, Jiang Cheng was four, his core formed well and he thought Yu Ziyuan had been happy, so he had not expected when she was walked into his room and started yelling,
 “Why are you ostracising your son!? Yanli’s going to be married into Jin Sect and yet you spend time coddling her! And you don’t spend the same amount of time with your son?”
He really hadn’t expected her random onslaught, nor where she was coming from, his son was working hard, and he had overlooked his training personally, teaching him the Jiang teachings along with Yu Ziyuan’s own training. “Oh is it because I’m his mother? Because you cannot handle seeing your own son when you want to see a son with her-” Where was she coming from, he felt horrified, “Third-Lady! What’re you saying!?”
The door swung open and their son, Jiang Cheng stood shocked, scared at being caught and tears in his eyes, before he ran away. He turned to her disgust forming heavy, before leaving her where she stood spluttering how she didn’t mean for him to hear her.
He found his son sobbing as Yanli comforted him in his room. “Mother doesn’t mean it.” Yanli told him as she rubbed his back, “She loves you.” He only sobbed louder, “But she’s right, Father likes you more because he hates me. He likes that boy more-” Yanli looked as if she didn’t know what to say, and Fengmian felt confused, who were they talking about?
“No, I absolutely, do not.” He said and his children froze and turned to him, “You do! Why do you make me work more than everyone else!?” His son got up, and lightly started punching him from where he reached his knees while he sobbed, Jiang Fengmian, placed a hand on his shoulder, suppressing the pain in his heart and lungs.
“Because A-Cheng is going to be the Sect Leader, A-Cheng needs to be strong.” He said evenly as his son shook his head. “That’s not what you said to Jie!” and ran to his bed, “A-Cheng listen-” His son turned to look at him with anger “If you did then you wouldn’t have that disease!”
Jiang Fengmian stared at him, too shocked to feel anything. How? Or Why? Did she tell them that?! How did she even- his thoughts cut off as he thought back, if she could send people tailing him, what couldn’t she do? 
He looked at his daughter who avoided his gaze, “A-Li?” she answered silently “Mother said Father would replace him for-” She frowned, trying to remember a name, “‘Wei Ying’, the son of your-” She sneaked a peak at him “Your ‘beloved’.” And looked away, as if feeling guilt.
“A-Li, no, I love you both, how can she-” Yanli nodded, “I know that you love us, but A-Cheng thinks Father doesn’t like him because of Mother…” she hesitated. “And that you regret it wasn’t someone else, instead.”
He regretted, he regretted letting his children near Yu Ziyuan’s poisonous words, but the only regret was Yu Ziyuan, not his love for his children, it was not something he would ever regret, he didn’t even know Wei Changze had a son. 
“A-Li” He began gently, knowing A-Cheng was listening when his shaking under the blanket stopped, “They were my friends, like you and-” He thought for a second, “-like you and A-Cheng, we grew up together but they were my friends, and you’re my children, I love you both.” He kissed the top of her head and her shoulders dropped in what could only be relief, and reached up to pat Jiang Cheng’s head under the blanket, and left them for a moment.
He knocked on Yu Ziyuan’s door, only to find it open and empty, he walked inside and opened the cabinets and drawers until he found what he was looking for, for her to know she must have- and there they were.
Pages over pages, written in a familiar writing, ranging from containing details of travels, requesting permission to visit, to mentions of ‘Wei Ying’s’ birth, he felt tears form in his own eyes, with his heart filled with overwhelming pain and indignation, he now understood her random bursts, they were each time a letter was received, over jealousy-
Before he could go out and confront her, the pain in his lungs became unbearable, he choked and coughed, no matter how much he tried to restrain it, he coughed until he collapsed to his knees, why now? His body heated up feeling thorns tear at this lungs and throat. 
He could barely breath as he vomited, vision fading from the corner of his eyes, he was confused until he caught a look of the flowers he coughed, pure black roses mixed with the hyacinths, the rose thorns dripping with blood, no sign of lilies and carnations, his heart and soul filled with agony and he cried, and then he knew nothing more.
When he woke up, he felt nothing, he knew he hated Yu Ziyuan, but he felt nothing but blank emptiness, when he stared at the woman standing at the door, his children on either side of his bed. “Oh good, that you’re awake.” She hissed as if he was an inconvenience and he found no rage, and he nodded calmly instead.
He knew his friends had passed but he did not, could not feel grief, he knew he loved his children, so he reached out with both his hands, patting them as they muttered apologies while sobbing. “It wasn’t your fault, father was a bit sad, and was already sick, but he’s well now.” He said gently, and once the children left, he looked at the woman who was his wife and said “I’ll bring A-Ying back.”
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Authors note
Jfm knew he cared for Wei Ying, yet he felt nothing.
He knew he loved his children, he felt nothing,
He knew he hated his wife, yet he felt, nothing.
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So yesterday i was looking through @angstymdzsthoughts  and came across platonic hanahaki and thought hey sounds angsty, and thought ‘hey what if jfm had platonic hanahaki for cangse sanren and wei changze?’ i deliberately tried to keep it ambiguous which one he was in love with XD Madam Yu kept assuming and he didn’t give a fuk about correcting her, also like i couldnt bring myself to even write them spending the night together idk y, took a lot of effort lol. Started out with thinking hanaki, got more of JFM’s descent to feeling nothing oof.
Also like it turned out more focus on the fact that even before wwx was brought to lp, there would still be yzy biching and making everyone miserable so-
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lebrookestore · 4 years
Text
four years, one night
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Pairing: Ten Lee x  female reader
Themes:  SLOWBURN, best friends to lovers, player! ten, fuckboy! ten, fluff, humour, angst, sexual tension, college au, some talk about music 
Warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of sex (?kinda), ten is kind of an asshole, reader calls herself a dumb bitch, bittersweet ending, three kisses, kissing, gets a little spicy in one scene but that’s about it, PG15
WC: 10.8k
Playlist: Dream Launch by Wayv, Never let you go by AleXa, Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift, Young again by Morgan Evans, Without You by NCT U, The Tempest by Beethoven (this looks so out of place eye-)
Taglist:  @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu​  @1-800-seo @sweetlyjaem @badwithten @blueprint-han @chicksung
Summary: Ten was a fickle person, he jumped from one person to another, breaking hearts, and getting his own heart broken. The one person who had to pick it up every time? You, of course, and it was exhausting, especially when you had to watch.
day break  [ extra piece based in this universe ]
A/n: hello! this fic is very much self indulgent, but i love it so much. I spent most of the last week working on it and half of it is me simping, and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to @chicksung​ for beta reading and helping me throughout writing this. As always, feedback would be very much appreciated!
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‘I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong’- Lemony Snicket
~
A loud slam of the door made you flinch, shutting your eyes in exasperation as you knew what was to come. The same thing over and over again, you were used to it. Honestly, it was nothing new, but his stupidity, the obvious was in front of him, but did he listen? Of course, he didn’t.
A figure walked into the room, a mop of messy black hair with brown highlights adorning his head. It was pretty long at this point, his bangs reaching his eyes. Those damning eyes, melting pools of chocolate brown that seemed to bore into your soul. Those eyes looked remorsefully at you now, as he plopped down next to you, wrapping his arms around your midriff and burying his face in your back.
You sighed. “Again?”, you asked, running your fingers through his hair as he hummed a response. “Again”, he repeated, confirming your suspicions. He looked up, his eyes meeting yours.
You hated his eyes.
He managed to make you do anything for him with just a look. They were undoubtedly your weakness, when they looked sad, or when they upturned into a smile, that instantly brightened your day.
“I can’t seem to get it right can I?”, he asked, searching your eyes as if you had all the answers to his turbulent love life. You scoffed, “You couldn’t have been serious about that chick, Ten, you met her three weeks ago, and she was simply a rebound for you” “Thanks for the support”
“I’m being real, not supportive”
He rolled his eyes, pouting. “But I liked her”, he whined. You gave him a pointed look, “Please, You just wanted someone to be with, if not to fu-” “Oh my god, shut up”
You smirked, turning your attention back to your laptop, where the essay you had been trying to write glared back at you. 
“I just want someone who understands me”, Ten continued, still looking at you. You looked at him. 
I understand you, you thought, I’m here
Ten had always been like this, he jumped from girl to girl, getting his heart broken several times because he was too forgiving with it. He wanted to love, he had always romanticized the idea. Honestly, you thought he needed love too, but he was going down all the wrong paths.
And you had to be there every single time to pick up the pieces.
“I know”, you said half-heartedly, biting your lower lip. He propped his chin upon his fist, observing you and your concentrated look. You typed away, desperately wanting to be done with this paper, one you had been working on for about three days. 
“Do you think I’ll ever do something right?”, he asked. You froze, pushing down what you wanted to say. It was hard, having to deal with Ten's endeavors of the heart’ as he called them. The right term would be- doing random shit and breaking girls' hearts', but of course, he refused that catchy title. Sighing, you shut your laptop, knowing you wouldn’t get anything done now that he was in a mood.
“You haven’t done anything wrong” “Haven’t done anything right either”
You took his face in your hands, “You haven’t done anything wrong, you’re amazing, now stop moping, I’m ordering pizza”
He pulled away from you, sitting up properly. “Can I stay over?”, he asked hopefully. You clicked your tongue, looking at him with an annoyed expression. “Don’t you have your dorm?” “My roommate said he has a girl over, and I kinda want to sleep, thanks” You rolled your eyes, but nodded, picking up your phone and walking into the other room to order.
You heard laughter and looked back to see the boy laughing at something on his phone. Probably a cat meme, or something of the sort. You admired his side profile for a minute, the slope of his nose, the way his eyes shone. He was okay, you supposed, annoying, but okay. No matter how much he tried to justify it, he didn’t care for the girl who broke up with him. He was just fine right now, and had moved on from the topic pretty quickly, and was already smiling.
You also hated his smile. Infuriatingly adorable, one smile would make you want to smile back. You hated it with every ounce of your being, the effect he had on you. 
You hated Ten Lee.
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Scratch that, you didn’t hate the poor boy, you just, despised him?
Nope, you were close friends.
Ironic isn’t it? You had met Ten at a party, where the Dance major was having a lot of fun. You hadn’t seen him before but had heard of him. The boy who jumped from girl to girl as easy as one, two, three. You had no intention of even talking to him, you were content in a dark corner, with a drink.
Nothing ever goes your way. 
The meeting was by chance, he was dared to ask you to dance, you declined, he persisted giving you those puppy eyes. After glaring at him, he sighed, explaining it was a dare, and that he didn’t want to make a fool of himself, and before you knew what was happening, you were awkwardly swaying along to the music with him.
He, regrettably, stuck with you for the rest of the evening, and you ending up liking his company, to the extent where you invited him over the next day for pizza.
The pizza situation turned out to be a thing between the two of you, a tradition of sorts. He would come over with candy, in an oversized sweatshirt looking illegally adorable, you would supply the blankets, and movie nights would begin.
He had a sweet smile and sparkly eyes, which made you question if this was the guy who broke hearts, who was a player. He was like a puppy, it confused you to no end.
“Miss L/n?”, your professor asked, raising an eyebrow at your spaced out figure. Startling, you blinked rapidly, cringing at the situation you had put yourself in. “Sorry”, you apologized, focusing back on the textbook in front of you. You were majoring in Psychology, and while you love the subject, the teacher didn’t like you very much, probably because you had been so distracted the past few weeks, and you hadn’t done particularly well in the midterms.
Needless to say, you were stressed.
The class got over quickly, and you walked out of the lecture hall, deciding to get some coffee before your next class. The cafe was a well-loved one visited by almost every student, and was famous for its chai-lattes, so much so that others also visited it, and not just the students.
Turning towards the on-campus cafe, you spotted Ten already there. His glasses sat at the edge of his nose, giving him an oddly studious look, which was almost laughable. He stood there, holding two cups of coffee, eyes lighting up as he spotted you.
Ten Lee was going to be the death of you.
You walked up to him, taking the coffee which he handed to you, “What do you want?”, you asked suspiciously, taking a sip of the bittersweet drink. You noted the fact he had gotten your favorite, which only worsened the feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. He looked mock offended, and grinned at you, “Nothing!”, he said, “Just wanted to see you”
You rolled your eyes in an attempt to thwart your initial reaction, beginning to walk back to the main campus, for your psych class. Ten walked beside you, holding his sketchbook in his right hand, and coffee in the left.
“Okay, um actually-”
“You want something don’t you?” “I need a reference model”, he said, “So, Y/n, could you please-”
“Oh my god no”, you said, without even letting the poor boy finish, “Last time this happened it ended up with a pain fight and my sweater destroyed.”
“I said I was sorry!”, he semi shrieked, “And this time I need it for a project worth half my grade.”
Sighing, you but your lower lip, nodded tentatively, to which he let out an almost inhuman sound of appreciation, “When are you free?”
“Tomorrow?”
“Nah, I have a date”
You blinked in surprise, and he smiled sheepishly. “Eun-hae asked me out and I said yes so”
“Of course you did”, you muttered bitterly, “You broke up with that other one yesterday”
He seemingly chose to ignore you, “Sunday?”
You nodded and took another sip of the drink you held. He smiled, his eyes forming those endearing crescents that you loved, or hated, depending on what you were going for.
“Thank you, Love you”, he called out, jogging away to his class. You watched him run-walk away, almost dropping his sketchbook. Shaking your head in amusement, you smiled somewhat sadly.
“No”, you whispered, “You don't”
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You didn’t know exactly when you fell for Ten, only that it happened suddenly and you couldn’t deny it. He was idiotic, on many levels, but he was sweet and was there for you when you needed it. 
He was a dance major, and an art minor, talented in both these aspects. You had seen him dance, it seemed like his body moved with the music, it told a story every time. He would illustrate emotion with his dancing. He did that with his art too, each stroke equivalent to a sentence from a story.
Anyone could tell he loved both of them.
You let out a frustrated sound, bending down to pick up the pen you had dropped. You were in your apartment, trying to finish an essay that was due the next day. You longingly glanced at your keyboard, the one instrument that you loved.
Well actually, you loved the piano, but you couldn’t haul your piano from back home to your apartment that you had rented out for your college years, and so you settled for a keyboard. You had loved music ever since you were little, instruments making its way in and out of your house. Your jazz phase consisted of saxophones, and you played the guitar for a bit too. You even picked up the drums for a while, insisting that it made you cooler (because every thirteen year old needed that validation), but you settled back to piano eventually.
You took part in competitions and such, sometimes singing along with your playing as well. 
But you couldn’t afford to even think about playing, until you finished your assignments, which were all marked. They were extensive projects that made you want to scream at times. You didn’t care what Shakespeare meant, nor did you want to conduct a survey about emotions. 
Turning the page of your textbook, you switched tabs to your next resource, ready to jot down more notes for the essay, when you saw a notification at the bottom right of your laptop, which was an email. You clicked on it and let it open.
Your eyes widened, gaping slightly at the screen as you read the email.
Good morning/evening,
            We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into The Royal School Of Music on a scholarship. We have received your application and are impressed by your talent and dedication. Please send us a follow-up email within a month's time to confirm your attendance at our institution.
      TRSOM
 You grabbed your phone, texting your mother about the scholarship, shaking in happiness. It had been your dream to get into the Royal school, but you had initially applied to it on a whim, not really expecting to get in.
You swiped through your contacts, ready to call Ten, who was regrettably your best friend, to inform him of the good news, until you realized-
The school was in another country altogether.
While you knew Ten would be ecstatic about the fact you got it, you had known each other for four years, the entirety of your college career, and leaving for the school would be a bit of a shock. It was definitely not the fact that telling the boy you loved you were potentially never going to see him again that was deterring you from telling him.
You placed your phone back down, telling yourself you would deal with that later, reminding yourself you had an essay to finish.
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Ten tapped his finger impatiently on the table, trying to figure out a way to get out of this date. Initially, the girl he was out with, Eun Hae by name, seemed nice, but as time went on, it was clear she had no personality. 
Now, Ten wasn’t one to judge immediately. He tried to give her a chance, smiling and indulging in the bland conversation, he smiled and complimented her, and was sweet. It was going fine for a first date until of course, she suggested they share a fruit salad.
There were about fifteen other salads on the godforsaken menu, but no, she had to choose a fruit salad, above everything else.
Ten was not having it.
He excused himself, muttering something about an assignment, and went to the restroom of the restaurant, pulling out his phone and searching for your contact, clicking on it.
 [8:39 pm] 10: y/n
[8:39 pm] 10: y/n
[8:39 pm]10:  my precious friend
[8:39 pm] n/n : what now
[8:40 pm]10: I need help
[8:40 pm] n/n: I refuse 
[8:40 pm] 10: I am ofFENDED
[8:40 pm]10: please my date is making me eat fruit
[8:40 pm] n/n: sounds like a you problem
[8:40 pm] 10: I am quivering in fear and this is how you react
[8:40 pm] n/n: I have three assignments to finish
[8:41 pm] 10: I’ll take you for ice cream
[8:41 pm] n/n: deal
[8:41 pm] 10: why has our friendship been reduced to bribery
[8:41 pm] n/n stfu or I won't come and save you
[8:41 pm] 10: I LOVE YOU 
 He quickly sent you his location and put his phone back, getting back to the table and smiling as realistically as he could at the girl opposite him, who was still going on about one of her friends and their doings, while he tried to look as interested as possible.
“So, should we order-”
Right at that moment, you walked in, hair tousled because of the wind and a disgruntled expression on your face. He made an attempt not to smile at your appearance, ignoring the warm feeling he got on seeing you.
You looked around spotting him and storming over, “Ten Lee, what the fuck are you doing here”, you asked, ignoring the girl that sat right opposite him, mock angrily. He caught on, staring at you in bewilderment, noting the hint of amusement in your eyes, “How dare you to do this to me!”
“I-”
“Um, who are you?”, the girl asked, seemingly offended that you had interrupted their date.
You scoffed, displaying all your acting abilities in their full potential, “Who am I? Who are you?”
She blinked in confusion, and Ten used every bit of willpower he had to prevent him from bursting out into laughter. “I’m his date?”
“Un-fucking-believable”, you said, “Ten Lee how could you?”
At this point, Ten was invested in whatever lie you had somehow come up with to get him out of this date. It seemed like you had an entire explanation for it, either that or you were taking the opportunity to scream at him. Both seemed valid.
“How dare you lead this poor girl on!”, you continued, taking a turn, making the girl look scared, “You didn’t tell her did you?” “Tell me what?”, she asked anxiously, leaning forward. You fought to keep your straight face on seeing Ten lean forward too, apparently interested in whatever abomination he committed. 
“He’s gay”, you said with as straight a face as possible, which was hard considering the girl looked so embarrassed, you could see her face go red. Your best friend looked at you incredulously, almost as embarrassed as his ‘date’ was, and mildly amused.
“Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’ll be taking him”, you stated, grabbing Ten’s hand and taking him along with you, out of the restaurant and onto the streets.
“You really-” “Ice cream”, you demanded, smirking at his obvious embarrassment. He gaped at your indignance, but nodded, “At least you got me out of there”
“I’m an actress”
“Fuck off”
“Finals are in two weeks, I still come help and this is how to repay me? Ungrateful”
The two of you took Ten’s car to the Ice cream shop, leaning on the hood as you ate your ice cream, with Ten occasionally stealing bites. You smacked his hand away, glaring at his as he tried to take another.
“I’m literally the one paying for it”, he argued.
“This is payment for saving your ass”, you retorted. He slung an arm around you, ignoring you and taking his phone out, scrolling through Instagram. You leaned into him, the scent of your shampoo making its way to him. There was that warm feeling again, and he didn’t like it one bit. 
Deep down, he knew what it was, but he was too much of a coward to ever try, or even take a chance with it, because he wasn’t one for commitment, and even though he had thought about it, he was, as much as he hated to admit it, scared.
“So can I get another scoop?”
“You have assignments to finish”
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THREE WEEKS TO GRADUATION
~
The lilting tune played through your apartment, your fingers running across the ivory keys in fervor. They clicked and clacked ever so often, which was the one thing you hated about keyboards. The keys weren’t as firm as an upright piano, giving the music an annoying clickity noise.
Most of the time, you could ignore it, but today you were tired, and this piece was particularly difficult. For some reason, you were having trouble playing the accessories, and keeping the piece in time. You played that part over and over again, but it wouldn’t work.
You switched off the metronome in annoyance, you stared at the music sheet in front of you, trying to figure out how the fuck you should play the piece. Your door clicked, and you did your best to curb your annoyance at the fact someone was interrupting your practise time, no matter how hard the piece was.
Like all keyboards, yours was smaller than an actual piano, and looked very out of place in your apartment, which was warmly decorated with all sorts of trinkets and such. One of Ten’s sweatshirts was thrown on the sofa, and for some unknown reason there were three candles sitting on your table.
It was confusion incarnate, to say the least.
You heard the door click, and a girl walked in, smiling at you. It was the only other person other than Ten who had the key to your apartment, Angie. She was shorter than you, but only by a little bit, had a fringe and brown eyes. She was pretty, and easy to talk to, which was probably what drew you to her in the first place.
“Hey”, she greeted, seeing you on your keyboard, “Whatcha playin?”
“An andante”, you groaned, “Why are you here?”
“I have nowhere else to be”, he said bluntly, “Renjun’s at Doyoung’s place or something”, she pulled out her phone, “I’m just here to chill dude, continue playing, I finished two projects and my brain in dead”
Renjun was her boyfriend, who was on the Dance Team with Ten. The two were ridiculously cute, but due to the fact she now had a boyfriend, the two of you spent less time together. You were okay with it though, you understood.
“Isn’t Doyoung with his girlfriend?”, you asked, and she shook her head, “No, she’s at her Chinese class”
You nodded, going back to your piece, placing your fingers on the correct notes when-
SLAM
Your door opened and closed again, and you closed your eyes, praying to whatever God existed that one day, you would get to practise without interruptions. Ten trudged through throwing himself on the couch, next to Angie, who paid him no attention. “Hi”, he greeted you, and you glared, causing him to give you a look of confusion.
“What did I do now?”
“Not your fault, sorry, I’m not getting this piece”
He perked up, walking over to where you were, “Can I help?”, he asked, gesturing for you to move to the side of the piano stool so he could sit next to you. He studied the notes, as you looked at him, admiring his side profile, wondering how someone could be so pretty. He placed his hand on the keys, playing it. He made a mistake but in the place you had gotten. He got the part you were struggling right.
“Here, do this”, he explained, “The notes are after the third but before the fourth count, so you have to play it quickly”
You nodded, trying to play it, not quite getting it but it was getting there. He smiled, his eyes turning into crescents as he grinned at you.
You hated his smile.
It was infuriating, the fact that he always helped you, he was always there. You kept finding yourself falling for him more and more, and you didn’t want to, because you knew how Ten was, and it was making the whole ‘telling him about the acceptance into the music school’ a lot harder.
You thanked him, pushing him off the stool playfully so you could finish your practice session before going back to studying. He made a mock offended look, retreating to the couch next to Angie, who was engrossed in texting someone, presumably her boyfriend.
His hair was messed up, sticking up in different directions making him look ridiculously adorable. You shut down the keyboard, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to practice anymore with the both of them around. You went to sit next to Angie, but Ten’s entire presence seemed to be in your way.
“Move”
“No, I’m comfortable” “Chittaphon Leechaiya-”
“Yeah I’d like some chai”, Angie said mindlessly, causing the two of you to look at her in mild astonishment. She seemingly didn’t notice your gaping looks, still scrolling through whatever she was looking at.
“Did you just reduce me to tea?”, Ten asked.
Angie looked at him, mystified. “It seems so”, you mused. A slow smirk stretched across his lips. He propped himself up on his elbows, his too-long hair falling over his eyes
“I’m flattered”
“What?”
“Tea is hot. I’m hot”, he drawled, waiting for the two of your reactions to his statement.
You smacked him.
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It was your designated pizza day, which meant Ten was at your place. He was currently in the kitchen getting something to drink and ordering the pizza while you sat alone in your living room.
You looked up at your laptop screen, going over the draft of the email you were to send back the The Royal School of Music. Your parents had been extremely proud of you for getting in, and had called you the other night to congratulate you. You heard footsteps, quickly shutting your laptop down, looking up at Ten who walked into your living room from the kitchen.
“Pizza will arrive in a bit”, he said, handing you your drink and plopping down next to you, “Movie?”
“Uh Bridge to Terabithia”, you spouted, taking a sip. You were supposed to be looking for a movie while he was gone, but instead had begun writing the email, so you spouted the name of one of your childhood favorites, that never failed to make you cry. He nodded and you opened Netflix, quickly searching the movie and pressing play.
Ten wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as the two of you sat in silence. The movie played, and even though you had already watched it before, you still found yourself invested in it. Except you weren’t completely focusing. Ten was so close, his fingers brushing against your hips, his breath near your neck. It felt right, like you were supposed to be like this.
That was the thing, it never felt wrong when you were with Ten, it was like you were exactly where you were supposed to be. Except of course for the fact he wasn’t yours. You knew how Ten was, he was the heartbreaker, and you were the one who was always there to pick up the pieces. Still it was nice to pretend that he was yours, because that was all you could do.
Pretend.
He kept talking about how he wanted someone who understood him, who he could be with, not just some stupid fling. He kept repeating the same thing again and again, and it frustrated you to no end, because you understood him and you were right there, but he never saw you. He would flirt with you, he would do everything and yet, he would never even think of you.
You leaned into him subconsciously, biting your lower lip as you stared at the screen in anticipation. He started playing with your hair, twirling it around his fingers, his hot breath on your neck making hard for you to fully concentrate on the movie.
You hated the effect he had on you, he had barely even done anything, but had still managed to make you nervous. He pulled you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Are you even watching?”, you asked, semi breathlessly, “Yes”, he responded, “But I want to cuddle.” You couldn’t argue with that logic, so you relaxed into his embrace, as much as you could. “You’re warm”, he murmured against your skin, looking back up at the screen and humming a random tune. “I’m hungry”
“I think I have some M&M’s on the counter”, you mused, “I’ll go get them”, you jumped at the chance to get up and get away from Ten, who was positively driving you crazy at this point. However, your grand plan was cut short when he refused, “I can go get it”, he made a move to get up.
“Sit down idiot-”, you said, pushing him off you, but accidentally tripped over yourself, falling back into his embrace. He laughed, hands falling to your waist to make sure you didn’t fall. “Graceful”, he snickered, and you glared at him. “I hate you”, you grumbled, “You love me”, he teased, making you almost fall again.
Except this time, his face was dangerously close to yours, and you just stared at him, your mind going blank. His arms were still around you, preventing you from falling. His eyes fluttered down to your lips for a second before he looked back up. He opened his mouth to say something but-
RING
The doorbell rang, startling the two of you out of your trance. You pulled away from Ten, shakily walking over to the door and opening it.
“Pizza?”, the guys asked, handing you the pizza box, “Yeah thanks”, you paid him and walked straight into your kitchen, not giving Ten another look, because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to.
You sighed, shutting your eyes, and trying to collect yourself, before grabbing the M&M’s and walking back into the living room, where Ten was sitting, eyes trained on the screen.
“You missed an entire scene”
“YOU DIDN’T PAUSE IT FOR ME-?”
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The music echoed through the studio, its melody harsh and striking. It was dark, no lights were on, but the mirrors reflected the only person in the room-Ten.
His figure moved with the music, choosing to do whatever it pleased, trying to portray the beautiful piece to its fullest. The higher notes gave it a sort of hopeful effect, a guide. It lead you to believe that it was alright, it was fine. 
The lower notes added depth to the melody, giving it a richer feel. The two played together made it a beautiful piece, with a sort of melancholic feel. He danced to it, telling a story with his body. Ten would do this sometimes, instead of choosing an upbeat song to dance to, he’d take a classical piece, something that he could feel.
There was something in this piece, the Tempest, that resounded within him. It reminded him of you, specifically your friendship with him if you could even call it that. He got that warm feeling again that day when you had almost fallen. He would’ve kissed you if not for the doorbell. 
Ten wasn’t one for commitment, he wasn’t one for standing up first and telling people about his feelings. He played people, he played them like he painted a picture, or danced.
Speaking of which, the piece had suddenly taken a turn for the turbulent, faster-paced, anxious even. It resembled his feelings perfectly, the random urges to tell you, the anxiety for the outcome. He somehow managed to gracefully enact these feelings, making it look like art instead of the confusion he felt.
Maybe he chose this piece not only for himself but for you too.
It was one of your favorite ones to play, you could and would talk about it for days, especially when you had just mastered playing it. It wasn’t an easy piece, with all the nuances and timing changes, but you pulled it off. He could almost pretend it was you playing.
And then suddenly it mellowed down, the piece sounding hopeful as if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and you could finally see it. A solution, a happy ending to the harsh waves of the storm, a merry end. His moves became lighter and almost joyful, as he twirled and jumped.
It was all an illusion.
A lie to make you believe the storm was over, there was no hope for this story. The harsh melody returned with vengeance, striking down the sliver of longing, any dream of making it out. Ten did his best to keep up with it, but the sudden change of emotions was startling even to him. It had changed so quickly, he didn’t even have time to comprehend it.
It ended on a triumphant note, like a proud win over an enemy, a victory that shone above everything. Ten ended the dance with a pirouette, panting as he tried calming himself down from the intense session. He couldn’t help feeling triumphant as well, the adrenaline of the piece getting to him, yet, he was skeptical.
Because he had a feeling it was the Tempest that had triumphed, and not him.
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You’ll admit: you were not having fun with Psych. You had been studying all day, trying to absorb some of the stuff you had been taught throughout the year. Even though studying human behaviour had always intrigued and interested you, the reason you chose Psych, you couldn’t care less about oxytocin and how attraction worked, nor did you care about how human behaviour was affected by it.
But you had been at it for the past 6 hours, and was tired, so when Angie came along and expressed her disgust and sympathy about your studying endeavors, she hauled you up from the place you had been sitting at for most of the day and instructed you to change and get ready to go or a party.
So you found yourself at a frat party, Angie's arm hooked in yours and music blaring all around you. It was hot and dark, and you could barely see anything with the terrible lighting. You couldn’t tell what song was being played at such high volume, but awkwardly swayed to it anyways, wondering if staying at home at falling down the hole of ice cream and Netflix would have been a better alternative to this.
There were couples making out, and random beer cans everywhere. Everyone was half drunk, and you took this as an excuse to go get a drink. You turned to Angie who was looking the other way. 
“Angie”, you whisper-screamed her name into her ear, causing her to jump, “I’m going to get a drink okay?”, you explained, to which she nodded. “I’m going to Renjun”, she said, walking away and leaving you alone.
Friendship.
You pushed through the crowd of sweaty adults, to get to the makeshift bar that was at the other end of the frat. You stopped occasionally to greet friends, or smile at a random cute boy, but finally made it to the kitchen. Johnny, one of your other friends stood there, inclining his head in a greeting. “Hey, what do you want?” “Are you in charge of the drinks or something?”, you asked, leaning on the island of the kitchen. He grinned at you, shaking his head, “No, but I’m so much I might as well be!”
You laughed, requesting for your drink of choice, which he went to fix for you. You licked your lips, scanning the area to find another friend to latch onto, since Angie had so kindly abandoned you.
“Didn’t think I’d see you here”, a very familiar voice said form behind you, and you turned to see none other than your best friend.
But he looked nothing like what you were used to.
Ten’s hair was slicked back instead of splayed out on his forehead like usual, his eyes seemed darker, probably due to the alcohol. He was wearing skinny jeans, and a blazer with most of the buttons undone, his chest in full view.
Ten looked hot.
“Uh-”, you started like the well read person you were, “Angie dragged me”
He smirked, “Of course she did”, he took a seat on one of the stools, legs spreading as he leaned back. You looked away, trying your hardest not to stare at the boy in front of you, who was making that mission increasingly harder with every little thing he did.
Johnny came back out, offering you a smile and your drink, which you took from him, returning his smile. He handed a glass of something you couldn’t make out to Ten, who took a sip, keeping it on the island. “You don’t seem to be having fun”, he observed, hands finding your waist and pulling you closer to him.
This was a normal thing, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t the same innocent gesture. “I just arrived idiot”, you scoffed. He smirked, “You can look at me you know”, he teased, and you could feel the heat rush to your face. You turned your gaze to him. Currently you were in between his legs, and your mind was a mess.
The first thing you noticed was his tattoo on his right arm which you had seen before. The next was one you hadn't seen before, and rightly so, since it was on his chest.
“Done staring at me?”, he said with a smirk, and your eyes snapped up to his, holding his gaze. If you hated the effect his eyes had on you before, you positively despised them now. He was staring at you through a half lidded gaze, licking his lips. Even without any alcohol in your system you felt dizzy, but not a sick way. Ten was driving you crazy, with his hands on your waist, eyes on you and just everything about him in the moment.
“You’re pretty”, he murmured, looking up at you, eyes falling to your lips, “Did you know that?”, his voice was deeper than usual, sending shivers down your spine. “I-”
“Hmm?”, he sounded absent minded, like he wasn’t even listening to you, which was great considering you didn’t even know what to say. He pushed you a little, standing up himself, now looking down.
“If you didn’t know, I think you are”, he said, face closer than any friend’s face should have been. You breath hitched in anticipation. “Ten?”, your voice was small, quivering almost under his gaze.
He was so close, painfully close. If anyone asked you how you got into this position in the first place, you wouldn’t be able to explain, not quite knowing yourself. 
“Y/n, I need you for a second”, Angie appeared from nowhere, freezing when she saw the two of you in that position, “Um- I can leave-”
“Hey Ang”, Ten greeted, moving away from you. You missed the proximity, as much as you hated to admit it. You blinked hazily at your friend who had so conveniently interrupted whatever you had going on with Ten. You silently cursed yourself for getting so out of it. “Here, I think Arya is calling me anyways so”, he pushed his hands in his jeans pockets. He glanced at you, before walking away and out of the kitchen.
Would he have kissed you?
You looked over at your friend, who was still staring at you like she had seen a ghost. “Did I interrupt something?”, she asked, eyes wide. You felt embarrassed, taking a step back as if you were trying to walk out of the whole situation. “I’m not sure”, you said, “What do you need me for?”
“I need you to hold my drink, I need to go to the bathroom, Renjun is drunk as fuck and I trust you”, she explained, handing you her glass. You nodded, “And maybe can you watch my dumbass of a boyfriend please?”
You snorted, agreeing and walking to the main area of the party that was unfortunately the most crowded. You spotted Renjun on top of Donghyuck, practically choking the latter boy who was laughing for some reason. You could see why Angie went to you for her drink. Walking over, you tried to help Mark, another one of your friends, in separating Renjun and Donghyuck from initiating the 77th hunger games on a friday night.
After somewhat succeeding in pulling the two away from each other, Angie had arrived, choosing to ignore her wasted boyfriends antics and taking her glass back from you. 
You remembered you had left your own drink back in the kitchen, and so you backtracked your steps to said place, when you saw it.
Ten was standing with a girl, her hands around his neck. He was saying something that made her giggle, throwing her head back in laughter as he grinned happily. You froze watching the scene unbeknownst to Ten. You didn’t know what you were feeling for an entire minute until it hit you.
You were hurt.
It was a pricking sort of feeling, like a rod prodding at your heart. It was like a warning, telling you to look away before it pierced your heart, but you couldn’t look away for some reason. It was like your mind was mocking you, telling you keep watching, to realize you never had the slightest chance with Ten.
You weren’t special, whatever flirting he did with you he did to everyone, anything that had remotely happened wasn’t even mentionable, because you were like every other girl in the crowd, and it fucking hurt. It hurt to see the boy you loved not give you a moment's thought, not even give you a chance.
That night you went back to your apartment alone, leaving Angie to deal with her boyfriend. You had never felt this horrible before, it had never escalated to this level of hurt. This type of hurt was different, a dull ache reminding you of what an idiot you were to have ever hoped for more.
You hated Ten for several things, his eyes, his smile, the way he could make you giddy by doing the simplest things. But in the moment, you hated yourself more.
You hated yourself for loving Ten Lee.
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‘Don’t call me kid, Don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you’ve made me. You showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else’
~
You sat on a colourful rug, holding a book up, and surrounded by several other books. You were in a sort of greenhouse, the walls and roof were made completely off glass, and the light streamed through, giving the scene a sort of whimsical aura.
This was the place ten has chosen to paint you, standing behind his easel and and focusing on the canvas, occasionally looking up at you. There were flecks of white and pale blue paint on his face, and he looked whimsical in a way as well.
You sat there, ignoring the warnings in your mind that told you to stay away from Ten for yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You showed up to the venue right on time, and did your best to not seem any different. You spaced out, eyes focusing on a random word on a page. Ten had promised he was almost done with it, since the two of you had been at it for quite a while now.
His lower lip was caught between his teeth in concentration, hair messed up from the amount of times he had run his hand through it. He stepped back for a second, inspecting his work, a dorky smile stretching out on his lips.
“It’s done!”, he said, “Some fixing, but I can do that later, get your ass here!”
You get to your feet, placing the book on one of the piles of them around you and walking towards him, biting down your own smile at this enthusiasm. You walked behind the easel, your eyes falling on the painting.
It was gorgeous, the colours complimenting each other. The depiction of the light rays was so soft, yet it was there shining down on the main part of the picture- you. He had painted you so prettily, almost fairy like in the midst of the scene. You stared at the painting in awe, unable to think of words to describe it.
“So?”, he asked hopefully, his eyes searching yours for some sort of reaction. You looked at him, then at the painting, then back at him, wondering how he could’ve made it look so fanciful, something out of a disney movie.
“It’s beautiful”, you whispered, your voice not daring to go any louder. He smiled placing his palette down and standing next to you. “It’s not hard when the subject is beautiful”, he said nonchalantly. You froze, silently telling yourself to calm down, to not react to it, that it wasn’t anything to be noted. Yet something in you clicked, shifted into place.
You were angry.
You were furious at Ten, with his pretty smiles and wishful eyes. You hated it when he flirted with you, because he kept leading you on, you hated it when he looked at you like you were the world, because it was a lie, it was all a fucking lie.
“Don’t”, you said, voice shaky. He stared at you in confusion, which only irked you more.
“Don’t”, your voice betrayed you, breaking. He looked alarmed, reaching his hand out, “Hey, Are you okay-”
“No, I’m not okay”, you hissed, slapping his hand away, stepping back. Your mind was clouded with a feeling of helplessness, helplessness at not being able to tell him how you felt, how you hated what he did, how all you wanted was something you definitely couldn’t have. He looked bewildered at your seemingly sudden outburst.
“Stop fucking playing with me”, you said, “I’m not this”, you searched for the words, coming back with nothing, “Stop complimenting me, calling me sweet nothings, making me believe-”, you sucked in a breath, feeling the tears build up in your eyes, years of pent up frustration finally making their way out of you. 
You looked up at him, he still seemed to not be following, “Y/n, I don’t-”
“I’m in love with you”, you choked out finally, the words seeming to tie you down, rather than set you free like you had once hoped. “I’m in love with you”, you repeated, Ten could hear the rage in your voice, washing down on him like the waves of the Tempest, harsh and real. “And I hate myself for it”
Your voice was softer, much more mellow now, like it was tired. A single tear trickled down your face, and you looked up to see a stunned Ten, eyes wide at your state. He said nothing, instead just looked at you, as if you were a different person all of a sudden. It wasn’t a pretty sight, you crying and him standing there like a statue, not a word escaping his lips. 
The air seemed to be colder all of a sudden, biting into the exposed areas of your skin. There was that aching feeling again, that pricking of your heart, the silent ‘i told you so’, that your mind seemed to be playing on repeat. You brushed the tears away from your face furiously, feeling stupid all of a sudden. 
“I’m going to go”, you muttered, grabbing your things and walking out, not caring if you looked idiotic, and not staying to listen to any pathetic response he gave you. 
Ten watched you leave, cursing himself for being such an idiot to you. He didn’t mean to hurt you, he was in love with you himself, but he would never admit it. He hated himself for it, because he knew what he had done. He had flirted with you, had played you, but it was only because he thought the two of you never had a chance. 
He hated himself because it was him, after all this time, who had destroyed that chance.
You sat in front of your computer, back at your apartment, trying not to cry again as you stared at the screen, fingers hovering over the send button. It hurt much worse than you expected it to, his silence had made everything all the worse. But you were tired of him going back and forth. You were tired of having to pick up the pieces every time when he broke another girls heart, or someone else broke his.
You had nothing to lose this time. So alone, in your room you pressed send, signing of your future, sending the email to The Royal School of Music.
Alone.
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Finals week passed in a blur of stress crying, all nighters and excessive reading of things that you had read a million times before, and if they hadn’t already gotten into your head, they would never. Which prompted the stress crying.
It was a vicious cycle.
You barely stepped out of your apartment, other than to actually take the exam. All your time was taken up in studying, occasionally eating, and studying again. You also didn’t see Ten that much, other than a glimpse, but immediately swerved away, not in any mood to deal with that confrontation as of yet.
Somehow, you managed to make it to the end of the week, without completely going mad. You made it out of finals, and was technically done with your college career altogether, which was crazy to even think of. You had spent the last four years of your life in this hellhole to get to where you were, and you had made it.
So seeing yourself in front of the mirror a week later, donning your cape and cap over your clothes, you smiled for the first time in two weeks. It was the day you finally graduated and went out into the world as a person with a degree. 
Granted, you were slightly pissed at the fact you had spent four years, and paid an enormous amount of money for a sheet of paper, but at the moment, you couldn’t get the fact that you were finally done with it out of your head. You were happy.
The ceremony started off slowly, the principal calling the names of the students in alphabetical order. You saw Ten walk up and take his degree, a broad smile on his lips. You saw Angie take hers, almost tripping over her cape, earning a laugh from the principal, and fond looks all about. You saw Renjun and Donghyuck hugging instead of at each other's throats for once, and Mark randomly beat boxing for no reason.
You went up on the stage, taking the degree and smiling, realizing that your vision was hazy. Tears of happiness had made their way to your eyes, and you blinked them back, thanking the principal and smiling at the crowd. You walked off, going to stand with your little group of friends.
Later on, Angie went off with her boyfriend for a celebratory date, Renjun and Donghyuck decided to crash at Marks place, and you? You decided to walk through the campus one last time, before you never returned. You were done with college and this place wasn’t yours anymore. It held a sort of nostalgic feel all of a sudden, walking under the arches and admiring the architecture one last time.
You were holding your cap in your hand, after finding it on the ground somewhere after the throwing of them. Your cape was folded and hung from your arm as you walked through, deciding to go get some coffee after you were done.
Lost in your own thoughts, you bumped into someone, dropping the cap., “Sorry-”, you begun you apologize for your absent mindedness, crouching to pick up your cap when you saw the person you had run into.
Ten.
You silently scowled, cursing whatever above that had thrown the two of you together at the very moment, and cleared your throat uncomfortably, looking away. “Hey”, he said breathlessly, looking you up and down. He looked great, he always did, you couldn’t deny the fact no matter how much you were trying to hate him.
“Hi”, you said curtly, “I have to go”
“Wait”, he reached out, grabbing your hand, “Can we talk?”, his voice was tilting towards the hopeful side. It reminded you of your own foolish hope, and you didn’t like it one bit. “No”, you said, “I have to go”, you repeated for words, crushing any hope.
“No- Wait, please, Y/n let me explain”, he pleaded his case, his eyes striking through yours, stirring up some sort of sympathy. Your mind was telling you to go, to get out as fast as possible, but your heart softened, as it always did with him.
“Explain what?”, you chuckled bitterly, “You’ve made it pretty clear how you feel Ten. I was stupid”, your words were hurting yourself, but hurting him too, because he knew it wasn’t your fault.
“No Y/n, you-”
“I what?”, you hissed in question. He spluttered, discouraged by your disinterest in whatever he was trying to tell you. You wanted nothing more to get away from him in that moment, but he seemed to want to stretch out your time together as much as possible. It annoyed you, and made you sad at the same time.
The more time you were with him, the more you could feel your heart break.
“I love you”, he said quietly, “I know I’m a terrible person for leading you on and not realizing earlier, but I love you.” You froze, standing there and staring at him. He looked back, not daring to break your gaze. Instead of joy, which was what you had expected to feel if he ever uttered those words, you felt angrier.
“Please Y/n”, he said, “Just give me a chance?”
You stayed silent, contemplating your choices. “How long have we been friends?”
“What-”
“How long have we known each other Ten?”
“Four years, but I don’t see-”
“We have been friends for four fucking years. I was there for every heartbreak, every date, every girl. I stood on the sidelines, I listened to you, I have you advice when you needed it, I comforted you when you cried. But you? You never gave me a chance!”, you exclaimed, “Not a second glance, not a single chance.”
He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, taking in your words and trying to think of something to justify them, but he couldn’t, he knew you were right.
“So yes”, you voice quivered, “You are an idiot. You’re an idiot for never realizing my feelings when i made it PAINFULLY obvious”, you took steps back, trying to calm yourself.
“I can't believe I”, you scoffed at yourself, your own idiocy, “I can’t believe that three out of four years I was in love with you, but I guess that’s what makes me the dumb bitch.” You looked away, the words you had wanted to say since forever finally out of your system. He stood there, just a few steps away from you. But then, why did it seem like he was miles away?
“I’m sorry”, he said weakly, “I hate myself for what I did, but Y/n I”, he paused, shutting his eyes in frustration, “I’m in love with you dammit, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I’ve put you through but, can we-”
“No”, you said, “We can’t”
“Y/n give us a chance, please”
“You don’t understand!”, you said almost feverishly, blinking back tears, “I can’t Ten”
“Why not?”, he asked, walking closer to you. You took a step back from him, looking at the boy you loved with remorseful eyes. “I’m leaving Ten. I’m leaving for a music school in another country.”
He blanched, any hope withering away, like a dead flower, dried with the summer heat, like a lone boat in the midst of a storm. You let out a pathetic sob, realizing that you couldn’t ever have Ten, no matter what.
“I’ll be gone before we could ever be”
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The world was never fair. It came at you with things you wished never happened, you wished you could change, or would have handled better. Like a storm on an unsuspecting sailor, it’s waves crashed down on you, and you were unable to breathe.
Life was the tempest, with it’s harsh tremors, it’s sudden soft waves that lead you to believe things were going to be okay. It’s highs and it’s lows, the good times and the bad. You found it ironic, the fact you were playing your favorite piece of all time, and it reminded you of reality.
You had always viewed music as an escape from reality, but now you were starting to connect the two, using music to let both the worlds connect. Your fingers flew across the keys, the climactic melody thundering through your apartment.
Finishing the piece, you let out a sigh, taking the music sheets and placing them back in your folder. Shutting the keyboard down, you cleared up a bit, settling down on your couch. Cracking your knuckles, you pulled out your phone to mindlessly scroll through Instagram as one did to pass time.
You seemed to do that often, now that you were officially done with college and had a bit of time before you left for The Royal School of Music, approximately three weeks, you honestly had nothing else to do with your time.
And so, you indulged in the world of reels and other videos that didn’t necessarily add anything of worth to your being. Time seemed to trickle by slowly, much slower than you would have liked. 
Your flight to the country in which the school was in had already been booked, your registration had been completed, and you had even found an apartment to rent over there. Some of your belongings had already been sent for shipping, leaving you with the bare minimum. You had even sold some stuff, because cross country shipping was expensive, and you had gathered quite a few things over your four years staying in your college area that you definitely didn’t need.
It seemed as if everything was set, you were ready to leave everything behind.
Your doorbell rang, it's obnoxious ringing sound making you wince out of annoyance. You got up from your spot on the couch reluctantly, and walked over to the door to open it.
You were met with a slightly disheveled looking Ten on the other side, hair slightly messy. It had been yet another week since you had seen him, not have been in contact since graduation day, and suddenly here he was at your doorstep. Before you could even say anything, he pushed his hand out, thrusting a pizza box in your face.
“I know you don’t want to see me, and I don’t blame you but”, he took a deep breath, “You’re going, and it sucks, but I’m happy for you, so i brought pizza, for old times sake?”
You blinked in surprise, your hands on their own accord and taking the box. As if he could sense you were skeptical, he rambled on, “Just a movie and pizza, then I’ll leave I promise.” Everything inside you screamed at you to say no, but the words left you before you could even comprehend your mind's thoughts.
“Okay”
You opened the door more, walking back into your apartment, opening the box and taking your laptop to search for a movie. He closed the door after himself, taking a seat beside you on the couch, but not touching you. It was like there was a wall in between the two of you, and you couldn’t break it down.
You weren’t sure if you wanted to.
“There’s a new season of His Dark Materials”, you thought aloud, “We could binge that.”
It was so easy, being with Ten. Like falling back into a routine you had missed, a habit that had been cultivated. It was natural, him by your side, eating pizza and searching for a movie or series to binge. It was a tradition for the two of you after all, and even though you had stayed away from Ten for your own heart, it felt so good to do this again. You had missed it.
“Sure”, he agreed, taking a slice of the pizza, the stringy cheese not breaking, “We may need plates.”
You shook your head at his comical state, placing your laptop down and walking into your kitchen, opening the topmost cupboard to get the plates down, when you realized you couldn’t reach it. Now usually, you would just get a stool or something to climb on top off, but that would mean going back out there and admitting to Ten that you were short.
That was not acceptable.
Of course any grand plans of somehow getting the plates down without Ten knowing had been thrown out the window when he himself walked into the kitchen, “Are you making the plates or something? What’s taking so long?”
He spotted you, hands stretching up, leaning over the counter. Ten smirked, walking over and taking the plates down himself, “Someone’s short”, he snickered, to which you glared, “You’re short too dumbass.”
“You’re shorter”, he teased, taking the second plate down. He was standing in front of you, directly facing you as he placed the second plate of the counter top. You stared indignantly at him, and he caught your gaze, holding it. It was the same Ten you had known since you entered your campus, the same Ten you met at that party.
The same Ten you were in love with.
His eyes shifted from yours to your lips, realizing how close the two of you were. His hand raised up to your face cupping it. You subconsciously leaned into his touch, eyes wide, waiting for him to do something, anything.
His eyes searched yours for an answer, some sort of indication that he could go ahead. You knew that nothing good would come from this, but you couldn't help but nod your head a little too fast, and fisting the end of his shirt in anticipation.
He kissed you. 
His lips moved against yours softly, hesitantly, like they were scared you would disappear if he went any faster. It was nothing like you had ever imagined (believe me, you had imagined), but it was better. It was like a culmination of wanting had been poured into the kiss, and you didn’t want it to stop.
You could’ve sworn time had stopped when he kissed you, the world around you seeming to fade away. You could feel your knees going weak with the overwhelming feeling, the flutter in your stomach growing. If you hadn’t been holding onto the end of his shirt so hard, you would have collapsed into him.
“I’m sorry”, he whispered against your lips, pulling away, cupping your face, “I know I’m an idiot”, he confessed, and you resist the urge to agree, “I know I’m an idiot but,”, he stopped again, resting his forehead against yours. “One night”, he whispered, voice shaky now, “Will you be mine for just one night?”
There was something fragile in his voice, like he was afraid of your answer. You looked up, looking at those eyes you hated, but loved at the same time. You silently agreed, pressing your lips to his again, kissing him once more. His hands dropped down to your waist, your hands wrapped around his neck as you stole another long awaited kiss from him.
The plates were long forgotten about, instead the two of you stumbled back into the living room, hands not leaving each other. The back of his knees hit the couch, and he sat down, taking you with him. You sat on top of him, breathing heavily. 
He pressed his lips to your forehead affectionately as you leaned into Ten, not ever wanting the moment to end. “I’m tired”, you whispered, all the years of pining and wishing he was yours suddenly weighing you down. 
“I know”
“This isn’t going to end well is it?”
“I don’t know”, he mused, rubbing your back comfortingly. You looked at him once again, like you had done many times before, except this time he was yours, for how long? You didn’t know. You didn’t want the night to end, the prospect of losing him again already making your stomach pit.
“I love you”, he said, and you didn’t say it back. You didn’t have too, you had said it many times already, you had told him. Instead you kissed him again, getting drunk on him. 
The rest of the night was spent this way,lazily kissing, cuddling, and eating pizza straight out of the box since neither of you wanted to get up again. Ten held you like you were the world, and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into the crook of his neck. The two of you forgot about the serial you were supposed to binge as well, too caught up with each other to even care.
He told you about how he got scouted for dancing by an entertainment company, you filled him in about The Royal School of Music, about how you were so glad College was over even though you would miss it. He made you laugh with his stupid jokes, and it felt like it had always been. Somewhere along the line, the two of you fell asleep in the dead of the night, or almost morning, tangled up in each others arms, happy.
You woke up on your couch alone, your apartment lonely and silent. You looked around sleepily, your eyes catching a glimpse of the clock on your wall, which told you it was already noon. You pulled your knees to your chest, feeling out of place. Something was missing.
Ten.
Ten was gone, nowhere to be seen. You tried thinking back, wondering why he was gone, until you realized - one night was over. Like he had promised, he was gone, not yours anymore, and you weren’t his. You shivered, realizing that there wasn’t any blankets or anything on the couch, yet you couldn't seem to get up.
It hurt. You wanted to cry and scream, the realization that he was gone, before you could even fully have him sinking it. It felt so unfair, the fact that you could never really ever have Ten, someone you had loved for four fucking years, for more than a night.
You took in a shaky breath, looking to the end of the sofa, which is when you saw it. It was Ten’s painting, the one of you in the greenhouse, supposedly reading the books. On the top a sticky note read ‘The Tempest’. You brushed your finger over the painting, taking it in. He had left it here for you, and it was the one thing you had of him. At the bottom, it was signed in his handwriting.
‘10’.
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“널 다시 만나면 네 손을 잡고 말해줄 텐데 I will never let you go”
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fin.
856 notes · View notes
t0wnspersonb · 4 years
Text
Day Off (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)
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Word Count: 2,158
Warnings: FLUFF, bad language, suggestive language, my shit writing lmao
Summary: You hardly ever got to spend time with your husband, so when he has a day off, well, your heart can’t help but be entirely full. Especially when you see him interacting with your children.
~~~~
Anonymous said:
Hello💜💜 I was wondering if you could make an fluff/smut imagine about where Bakugou where the reader is his beloved wife they both have kids and just shows how their daily lives are. Btw I’m a huge fan of your imagines🥰
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I hope you enjoy this request anon! I didn’t do smut this time around, but here is some fluffy papa Bakugou for you! Also thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad you like my shit writing lol.
I always enjoy writing fluffy shit like this lmao. I love Bakugou with all my fucking heart and I hope you guys enjoy this too!
~~~~
You loved your family, you would do anything for them, the unconditional love that you held in your heart was something that would never be questioned.
 But sometimes, you loved your alone time just a tad bit more.
 Like now. 
 The house was clean, the house was quiet; and you actually got to enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee, fresh and incredibly delicious for your sleep deprived senses.
 You were an early riser, maybe it was because of all the morning training and runs that Bakugou had forced you to do when you guys were younger, or maybe it was because when you had kids you had realized that there just wasn’t enough time in the day to get everything done. 
 Quite possibly it was the latter.
 But everything was done, the laundry, the dishes, sweeping and mopping, you had gone to the grocery store yesterday, a surprisingly pleasant trip since the kids were actually behaving for once.
 You owe it to your husband, who had gotten off of his hero duties early yesterday and had helped you around the house, and he was off today.
 The first time in a long time.
 You probably should’ve lingered in your shared bed just a little longer, you hardly had alone time with the explosion hero as it was, but… you had been dying to read the new book that you had gotten weeks ago. Bakugou could handle waking up alone for one day, right?
 “Are you fucking kidding me? You shit nerd, how long have you been doing this?” his familiar gruff voice sighed from the entrance of the living room.
 You glanced up from your book, a small smile tugging at your lips as you took in his sleepy figure.
 Bakugou’s blonde hair was even more disheveled, his sweats hung low on his hips, one of his large hands was underneath his shirt, absentmindedly scratching at the skin that stretched across his sculpted stomach.
 You took a lot of pleasure in the fact that you got to see the most popular pro hero so domestic, so casual.
 His ring caught the morning light streaming through the window, glinting beautifully as he stretched out his muscular arms above his head, his shirt rising up, exposing the lower half of his stomach to your greedy eyes. His biceps bulged out beautifully against the sleeves of his shirt.
 You also took pleasure in just staring at your husband, that beautiful specimen of a man was all yours.
 “What time is it?” you asked. 
 “Almost 9.” 
 “Hmmm. Since 4:30 then?” You pondered, placing your bookmark between the pages, and closing the book completely, placing it on the coffee table.
 Bakugou made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat as he padded off towards the kitchen.
 You laughed softly to yourself, following after the muscular male. 
 “Stop fucking staring at me.” Bakugou grumbled, vermilion eyes sliding over to you briefly as he drank down his glass of water.
 “Can’t a wife just look at her husband?” you asked innocently, he walked over to you, his hands coming down on either side of your face, squeezing your cheeks together tightly.
 “Not when the wife ditches her husband in the morning to read a stupid fucking book.” he sneered.
 You laughed, grabbing at his much larger hands, and pulling them away from your face.
 “I’m sorry Katsu, what can I do to make it up to you?” you teased lightly.
 You shouldn’t have asked.
 A wicked smirk stretched across his face. “Get on your knees.” his voice was husky, commanding as he stared at you, daring you to challenge him.
 You could feel your lips part at his words, a pink blush beginning to dust your cheeks.
 It had been a long time since you -
 “Mama?” 
 The moment was gone completely, the wide smirk that Bakugou wore turned into a deep scowl.
 “Good morning baby.” you cooed turning to look at your small child. He was the spitting image of Bakugou, but he was the sweetest boy, completely unlike his father.
 He rubbed at his small eyes before they landed on Bakugou, a sweet smile stretching across his face. 
 “Papa. Up.” he held out his little arms, urging Bakugou to pick him up.
 You could see the scowl visibly melting away from Bakugou’s face, replaced with a gentle one as he gazed at his son. 
 It was hard for Bakugou, being able to spend time with his children, despite how rough he was, how crude his words could be; he was a wonderful father, a wonderful husband.
 You were entirely lucky.
 Bakugou easily swung his child up into his muscular arms. Your son sighing in happiness as he rests his head against Bakugou’s broad shoulders, his thumb coming up to rest between his lips.
 The sight of the two of them together melted your heart completely, clenching tightly in your chest as Bakugou pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your son’s head.
 “Papa’s home today?” Another familiar voice spoke. You turned to see your daughter staring at Bakugou in curiosity.
 She was the oldest, and the spitting image of you, except… well her personality was entirely her father’s.
 “Why don’t you guys go watch some cartoons while I get breakfast started?” you hummed.
 “Come on you shit stain.” Bakugou ruffled his daughter’s hair, urging her out of the kitchen into the living room.
 You and your daughter frowned, you at the fact that he just called your child a shit stain, and her because he messed up her already messy hair.
 “Your breath smells like shit Papa.” your daughter said, tone annoyed as she shoved his hand away from her head.
 You sighed tiredly, hand resting on the side of your face.
 “Oi, you aren’t allowed to curse.” Bakugou scolded, a large tick mark appearing on his forehead and he grabbed your daughter’s head pushing her out of the kitchen.
 You could hear their loud bickering fading into the living room, causing you to sigh deeply once again. 
 But a smile twitched on your lips, it had been a long time since you guys got to enjoy the morning together like this.
 When you had finally finished cooking breakfast you went to go grab the rest of your family. 
 Your heart melted at the sight. Bakugou held both kids in his arms, your children looking incredibly small as they cuddled up against their father.
 Despite the fact that your eldest and Bakugou always fought, she was a daddy’s girl through and through. Bakugou’s fingers combed through her unruly hair absentmindedly, while his other hand rubbed up and down your son’s back.
 Their eyes were glued to the TV as some anime played.
 You cleared your throat, all three pairs of eyes flickering to your form. 
 “Breakfast is ready.” you smiled, watching as your little girl climbed off of Bakugou padding past you towards her seat in the kitchen. Bakugou lifted up your son, easily carrying him into the kitchen and setting him down on his highchair.
 “What should we do today?” you mused as you guys began eating, Bakugou was feeding your son, making a disgusted face when he spit the food back out.
 “I need new shoes for school mama.” Your daughter said, mouth full of food.
 Bakugou made another disgusted face, handing your daughter a napkin.
 “Wipe your face brat, and don’t talk with your mouth full.” He lectured. 
 “Can we go to the park today?” her eyes lit up, ignoring her father completely as she tossed the crumpled-up napkin at his face.
 “Don’t throw shit at me! Don’t ignore me either!” he growled, a tick mark appearing on his face once again.
 “I’m trying to talk to mama, and you keep interrupting, annoying papa.” she snapped back.
 You sighed. “No fighting you two. We should be able to go to the mall today....” you trailed off, trying to remember if there was anything important you had to do today.
 “I need more workout shirts, and new training gloves. Damn Deku borrowed mine and never returned them.” Bakugou said gruffly.
 “Then I guess we can all go on a trip today.” you smiled. “Let’s finish up and start getting ready.”
 ****
 You almost forgot what it was like to bring the entire family out, it had been too long since the last time you guys did something like this.
 Needless to say, you were already exhausted.
 It took forever to get everyone out of the house. Bakugou did his best to help get the kids ready but… between the constant fighting with him and your daughter and your son's endless crying about not wanting to go and not wanting to put on pants, and Bakugou’s attempts at intimacy as you got ready... well, you wanted to get this over with already.
 “What do you think?” your daughter asked, pointing her toe out, the Uravity themed shoes on full display for you.
 “Very pretty, do you want those ones?” you asked. 
 She nodded excitedly.
 “Why do you want round face’s shoes? Why not mine?” Bakugou grumbled, staring down at his daughter accusingly.
 “Yours are ugly papa. I don’t like the colors. Uravity is my favorite hero.” She said face blank as she stared at the blonde male.
 This was definitely a sight to see, considering that Bakugou had your son perched on his hip and he was glaring down at the small girl who was glaring right back at him.
 “Huh? Ground Zero isn’t your favorite hero?” he barked.
 “No. Uravity is.”
 “Well mama’s favorite hero is Ground Zero.” He smirked, eyes flickering over to you.
 “Actually, Red Riot is my favorite hero.” You teased, soft laughter escaping your lips as your husband’s face fell at the mention of his best friend.
 “Let’s go over here!” Your daughter said excitedly, the conversation completely abandoned as she took sight of the toy store across from the shoe store you guys were at.
 “Hold on. I still have to pay.” you said in amusement, walking over to the cashier.
 Bakugou stood next to you, one of his large hands resting on the small of your back. When you had finished paying and began trailing after your excited daughter, he leaned in close.
 “You’re getting punished for saying that.” Bakugou growled near your ear. 
 “Is that a promise?” you challenged, ignoring the blush in your cheeks and the pleasant twist that occurred in the pit of your stomach.
 “You can count on it.” he growled, a smirk playing on his lips before he walked off to catch up with your daughter.
 You were definitely looking forward to it.
 ****
 You sighed loudly as you sat down on the park bench. 
 “Here.” Bakugou handed you one of the drinks he got from the vending machine, his eyes never leaving his children that were now playing on the playground equipment.
 “Did you have fun today?” you asked, resting your head against his shoulder as he took a seat beside you.
 “No.” he snorted, and then his expression changed, his eyes softening completely, his face relaxed. “It’s been a while since we got to spend the day together.”
 His large fingers found your own, intertwining together tightly. “Thank you.”
 You glanced over at him curiously. “For what?”
 You could see a soft blush coating his cheeks. He was embarrassed. It wasn’t anything new though, you knew your husband well enough to know that he was terrible at verbally expressing his feelings. 
 “You’re a good mother, and a good wife. Thank you for always taking care of the kids… and me.” he grumbled.
 Your expression softened, your heart warming completely. It was rare when Bakugou praised you like this, again, he was terrible at expressing his feelings verbally, especially something so gentle and heartfelt like this.
 “Of course, Katsu.” you beamed at him.
 He scoffed at your expression, but reached for you, cupping the side of your face as he stooped low, pressing his mouth against yours carefully.
 You hummed low in your throat; eyes fluttering shut as you kissed him back. Sweet and gentle, incredibly warm and full of love.
 “Ew. You actually let papa do that? That’s disgusting.” You broke free from the kiss and turned to see your daughter staring at you guys in disgust. 
 You laughed softly at her comment, Bakugou on the other hand…
 “Aren’t you supposed to be watching your brother?” he asked, eyebrow twitching in annoyance.
 “No wonder Deku is the number 1 hero.” Your daughter muttered to herself before turning to walk away.
 “What the fuck did you just say you shit?” Bakugou growled, standing up and swooping down, easily throwing your daughter over his shoulders.
 She squealed loudly, contagious giggles escaping her lips as Bakugou jogged over to the playground. He scooped up your other child, swinging him around rapidly.
 A soft smile twitched at your lips as you watched them.
 You loved your little family.
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lotusss-flowerbomb · 3 years
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Nice To Meet You (2)
Bucky x Wilson!reader
Warning: 18+, Smut (seriously, children are not welcomed here)
Word Count: 3,152 (I literally tried so hard to keep this short)
********
The drive to the docks to meet Sam and Sarah was too quick. You wanted to spend more time with him alone.
Once you arrived, you kept your distance from both Bucky and Sam and helped Sarah most of the time. You were sitting something inside of the wheel house when she silently followed behind you. You paused to look at Bucky and then turned around almost crashing into her.
"You know those glances you've been giving him hasn't been as subtle as you think," she squinted.
"Girl, what are you even talking about??" You feigned innocence.
She just stared at you until you finally cracked.
"Damn it!" You looked out at Sam and Bucky talking.
"So?? Tell me everything," she motioned for you to hurry up with her hand. "How was it?"
"Amazing," you sighed as you thought about all the nasty things the two of you had done.
"Aye man, what are you smiling about? Are you even listening to me? Why are you so weird?" You heard Sam yell.
When you looked up, you saw the window was open. Your heart rate sped up. There's simply no way he heard that... Did he??
"I can't believe you slept with a man you just met and Sam's friend of all people, " she shook her head.
"You look out there at that man and you look me in my face and tell me that you wouldn't," you challenged her.
"Yeah, he's kinda cute for a white guy," she said.
"Besides, they're not friends... they're coworkers."
When Bucky started laughing, you knew he could hear you. He got a real kick out of hearing you use the line he'd tried using on you last night.
You slammed the window shut embarrassed. Once Sarah realized what had just happened she fell into a fit of laughter.
"It's not funny, that's so embarrassing," you put your face in your hands.
"I just want to know how you plan on telling Sam? You know how he gets, he's gonna shit a brick."
"I know and I don't care if he's mad at me, but I don't want him to be mad at Bucky."
"Ooh, a sneaky link," she danced.
"Girl bye!" You laughed. "What do you know about a sneaky link?" You walked outside.
"I got Tik Tok too," she bragged.
You all finished the work you were doing on the boat for the day. You were happy Bucky was there to help move things along faster. You shook your head at the way he and Sam constantly bickered back and forth throughout the day.
"I know what I'm doing, I've been fixing on this boat my whole life!" Sam would yell.
"Hey, pipe down. You're still wet behind the ears. Just let me show you!" Bucky yelled back.
"Will you two just get a room?" Sarah asked, finally getting them to shut up.
Back home, the boys wanted to spend the rest of their weekend at their friend's house and Sarah welcomed the break.
"Alright, my kids aren't here so I'm not cooking," your sister announced.
"It's Sam's turn anyway," you said.
"No, it's your turn," he fired back.
"I cooked yesterday, you weren't here. Bucky ate, so it counts."
"Bucky definitely ate," he said.
Sarah choked on her drink. Sam, completely oblivious, patted her back and made a comment about hef never knowing how to drink without choking since she was little.
"So, pizza? Yeah, I'll order pizza. Sam, Sarah your usual right?"
"Yep," she answered in between breaths.
"Got it, I'll go up and order online." You jogged out of the room.
When Bucky followed behind you Sam asked where he was going.
"I'm from New York, Sam. I'm gonna make sure she picks the best pizza place." He said matter of factly.
When you two finally got to your room, you smacked Bucky on the arm.
"Ow!" He whined.
"Oh, please!" You smacked him again, "are you trying to get us caught?" 
"Mmm hmm," he pulled you close and kissed your neck.
Your body melted into his. Unable to resist his advances, you put your arms around his neck and kissed him. Soon after your legs were wrapped around his waist and he had you pressed up against the wall.
"I want to fuck you so bad," he said in between kisses.
"Then do it," you teased.
Bucky didn't waste a single second turning you around and pulling down your joggers. He kicked your feet apart and pushed inside of you.
"Oh, fuck yesss," you hissed.
He put his hand over your mouth. The last thing he wanted was to be distracted by your sounds of pleasure and unable to hear someone coming.
Your pussy was so wet. The sloshing sound was driving him crazy and he wanted to get on his knees and suck it, but knew better.
He wanted to see your face, so he turned you back around and lifted you up again. This time he slid into your pussy slowly, watching as your mouth opened and you tried desperately not to make a sound.
"Do you know how good you feel?" He said into your ear. "I'm gonna cum in this tight little pussy. It's mine now and I don't care who knows it."
You grabbed his chin and pressed your lips to his. The knot in your belly unraveled as you creamed all over his dick.
"That's my girl," he fucked you quicker and harder as you tightened around him.
Bucky moaned into your mouth as his body stiffened and he came inside of you. He used one hand to brace himself on the wall and the other to keep you in place. He stopped you when you unwrapped your legs.
"No, wanna feel you," he panted into your throat.
"We don't have time for this, one of them will eventually come see what's taking so long," you wiggled out of his hold.
He let you down, but not before he got one more kiss.
He pulled his pants up while you grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wrapped yourself in it. You quickly placed the order for the pizzas and turned on your shower.
"Bucky, no," you giggled when he tried to follow you in.
"Fine," he kissed you and smacked your ass before leaving quickly.
********
"They've been up there for a long time," Sam said to Sarah.
"They're probably talking. You know how much she loved hearing old stories from daddy. He's probably telling her about how he was there when the wheel was invented or something," she replied.
"Mmm, I'ma go see," he said and walked away before she could stop him.
Bucky slipped into the guest room right before Sam hit the top of the stairs. He quickly rounded the bed and grabbed his bag as if he'd been looking through it.
"Hey, where's Y/N?" Sam questioned.
"Said she was getting in the shower," he never looked up.
"Oh... Why are your pants unzipped in my house?"
"Because I was also going to get in the shower, is that okay?" Bucky finally looked up at him and rolled his eyes.
Sam squinted at him before walking the short distance to your room. He could hear the water going in your bathroom, so he finally relaxed. Bucky came out of the guest room to go in the bathroom across the hall. He just shook his head at Sam. The man was definitely gonna pop a vein when he found out about the two of you.
********
While you all ate Sam and Bucky talked about their infamous first meeting.
"The guy puts his arm through my windshield and snatches the steering wheel clean off," Sam laughed. "Then I watched him jump over the side of a bridge and land on his feet."
"Come on, man," Bucky sounded embarrassed and looked over at you.
"It's funny now. Not so much back when you were trying to kill me, but definitely now," he took a drink.
"Alright, enough of those stories time for music," Sarah saved him. "Alexa, play some old school."
Alexa lit up and played Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye.
"Nooo, Alexa, next song!" Sam yelled.
Alexa played Love and Happiness by Al Green.
"Oh, this the one right here," he stood.
You and Sarah stood on each side of him and let him take lead, eventually coming in to be his back up vocals.
Bucky couldn't help but smile seeing the three of you together.
"Ooh, come on, Buck, let's dance," you put your hand out.
"What? No, I haven't danced since the 40's," he said and took a sip of his whisky.
"Well, you're long overdue then," you grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.
You both swayed to the music. He smiled at you as he held on to your hips and led the dance. You were so caught up in him that you hadn't noticed Sam stopped singing and was just staring at you.
It wasn't until the music abruptly stopped that you remembered your siblings were even there.
Sam's jaw was on the ground as he stared at the two of you. You jumped out of his arms and started to explain, but he made a beeline for Bucky.
"Sam—"
He punched him in the face causing Bucky to flip over a chair.
"Samuel!" You and Sarah both yelled.
"He had it coming!" He walked away.
You helped Bucky up.
"Why didn't he hit that hard a few days ago when Walker was kicking our asses," he rubbed a finger across his eye.
"Are you okay? I didn't think he'd ever react like that," you checked his face.
"I'm fine," he assured you. "I should probably go," he said.
"You don't have to go, I'll talk to him. Besides, he just punched you; he didn't say you had to leave." You walked away to find your brother.
Sarah grabbed ice for his face and started cleaning up.
********
"Samuel Thomas Wilson!" You screamed when you saw his silhouette pacing back and forth on the dock. "Have you lost your mind?!"
"Have you?!" He yelled back.
"You're a real piece of work, do you know that?"
"Of all the men in the world, why did you have to choose him?"
"Oh please, you're acting like I ran off and married the guy," you rolled your eyes.
"That's just it, the man's been through enough. He doesn't need you playing with him and trying to figure it out."
"Wait, you're mad at me?? Why the hell did you hit him?"
"I'm mad at both of you. I don't want him hooking up with my kid sister. He's too damn old, " he said, finally starting to calm down.
"Hate to burst your bubble, but I'm not a kid anymore and the man is too old for everyone." You sat down and swung your feet over the edge.
"You'll always be my baby," he sat next to you.
"How's your hand?"
"Hurts like a bitch. The guy is very literally hard headed," he chuckled.
********
You found Bucky in the guest room lying in bed with the ice pack on his face.
"How's the eye?" You leaned up against the door.
"It'll survive," he looked over at you.
You walked over to the bed and laid flat on your back next to him. You were quiet until you couldn't hold in your laugh any longer.
"What's so funny?"
"He socked the shit out of you."
"Right?!" He laughed along with you. "But it was worth it. Besides, I had it coming. I did rip the man's steering wheel off while he was driving after all." He chuckled, referencing the earlier conversation.
"You know, he just jumped at the very first boyfriend I ever had and that poor guy never called me again," you moved the ice from his face.
"Yeah well, I don't scare that easily," he pecked your lips with a soft kiss.
You put your hand out for him to grab.
"You sure I'm not gonna get punched again," he laced his fingers with yours.
"Oh please, it was just a little love tap," you led him to the bedroom.
He locked the door behind you then quickly scooped you up to lie you down on your back.
"Bucky," you giggled as he kissed the insides of your thighs.
"I'm going back to Brooklyn tomorrow. I need to taste you one more time before I go." He pulled off your pants.
He slowly slid your underwear off and stuffed them in his back pocket. He definitely needed something to remember this moment by.
Bucky rubbed your pussy and then slowly pushed two fingers inside of you.
"Fuck, look how wet you are and I've barely touched you." He admired the wetness on his fingers when he pulled them out.
You opened your mouth wide and stuck your tongue out, letting him know you wanted a taste.
He happily stuck his fingers in your mouth. His dick pulsing as he watched you suck on his fingers. He could no longer resist diving in between your thighs after watching how much you enjoyed tasting yourself.
Bucky expertly rolled his tongue over your clit. Watching you as you struggled to keep quiet.
He rolled over onto his back while keeping you in place, so you were now riding his face. You buried your face in the pillows and let out the moans you'd been holding back.
"Fuck my tongue," he smacked your ass.
You bounced your ass on his face while he licked and sucked you.
Bucky stroked his cock. His balls were so full, he'd be cumming in no time.
"I'm gonna cum," you gripped the sheets.
Bucky flipped you again, as much as he wanted you to cum on his face, he wanted to see you come apart beneath him even more.
He pushed your legs back and nudged into you. Your breath caught in your throat as he stretched you.
He rubbed your clit as he fucked you slowly and deliberately. Putting his hand around your throat and squeezing lightly until damn broke and you shattered to pieces.
He caught your screams with his mouth and kept fucking until he could no longer hold back. He came inside of you for the second time that night.
After getting cleaned up, he wrapped his arms around you and before long he was asleep. You thought about what Sam said about him having been through enough. Sure, you had your time when you were just living life and didn't take men seriously, but after the blip you've realized that life is way too short. Besides, you actually liked Bucky and wanted to get to know him.
You ran your finger across the stubble on his sleeping face. His soft breathing continued as his fingers flexed lightly on your back.
Normally, even that light touch would've awakened him, but right now, he was completely comfortable and felt safe there with you and your family.
********
The next day Bucky got up early. He decided not to wake you and made his way down the stairs. Sam was already outside throwing the shield around.
Bucky walked up, but the two men didn't speak for a while. It wasn't until Sam threw the shield and Bucky caught it did they break the silence.
"I should've said something. The moment we got to the boat, I should've told you," he said.
"Yeah, you should have," Sam finally stopped to look at him. "That's my baby sister, man."
"I know and I didn't plan for it, hell, I didn't even know you had sisters... Or a boat? Which she got on my ass about by the way," he smiled.
"As she should," he laughed.
The two men talked about a few things and finally Bucky opened up to Sam a little bit.
"You still having those nightmares?" He asked.
"All the time... Except these past two nights." He inhaled as he felt himself becoming emotional. "For the first time in a long time, I felt a little at peace. Even when I was in Wakanda, I always felt like someone was coming, but with Y/N, I just..." his words trailed off.
"You know the Wilson's, we good for the soul man," Sam joked. "You can't use her as a crutch though," he became serious.
Bucky nodded in agreement. He knew exactly what he meant.
"You ready for a little bit of tough love?" He asked the older man.
********
You and Sarah watched out of the window while the two men talked.
"Oh look, they're doing the little high five dap thing," you said.
"He's walking away. Wow, that man broke your back and now he's leaving without saying goodbye," she teased.
"The hell he is," you ran to the front door.
"Hey!" You yelled after snatching it open and running out.
You ran past your brother and jumped into Bucky's arms. Wrapping your legs around him, you gave him a long, tongue filled goodbye kiss.
He set you on your feet after finally pulling himself away. You reached up and pinched his arm.
"Ow! Why is this family so violent?!" He yelled dramatically.
"How dare you try to leave without saying bye to me?" You huffed.
"I'm sorry, doll, but I'm not so good at goodbyes," he hugged you close. "I have some things I need to do back home, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."
"You'd better," you kissed him again. "Come on, I'll take you to the airport." You tugged him towards your car.
********
It had been weeks since you'd last seen Bucky, but you spoke on the phone almost everyday. You were excited when he told you that he was coming back to visit and would be at the big cookout.
You mingled with the people while you waited for him to show up, sitting with a group of friends talking when AJ and Cass took off running past you. You turned to see where they were headed and you saw Bucky walking up with a cake in his hand and sunglasses on.
"Damn, he looks better in person," one of your friends said.
"That he does. Excuse me, ladies," you vacated your seat and walked over to him.
The smile that stretched across his face was a mile long.
"Sargeant."
"Hey, baby doll," he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you passionately.
"Alright, alright, enough of that. We're trying to eat here." Sam said.
Bucky clapped his friend on the back and you all sat down together.
Bucky looked around the table at all the smiling faces. He never thought he'd have happiness. Let alone people he could call family. He kissed you at your temple one more time. The way you looked at him made his heart flutter.
Finally. The calm he'd been searching for.
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When the Pain Ends // Charlie Gillespie
Summary: Breaking up with your boyfriend ends with your broken hand, a broken heart and a trip to Canada. Getting out of Oklahoma for comfort of your younger brother Owen brings you into contact with a sweet Canadian.
Warnings: Swearing, hospital, cheating boyfriend, angst and bit of fluff
Words: 3.1k
Requested: No.
A/N: Tidbit of info is that I am a university student. I had last week off and I’m six minutes into my History Zoom Lecture. Here’s a little fic.
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The scowl glued on your face as you waited in the ER for the results from the x-ray you had gotten back from minutes ago. A bag of ice on the swollen knuckles of your right hand still splattered in drops of blood. The same blood as the small drops on your shirt as well. If that didn’t put a scowl on your face, it was the next issue.
The reason for your visit to the ER was in bed next over complaining as a nurse checked his face. His eyes meeting yours in a blend of guilt, regret and fear almost. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes.
Let’s backtrack a little for a short history.
The summer after graduation, you had met a guy on the beach playing volleyball in need of another player. You joined, and then you fell for the guy just as he did for you. For the last three years, you were now twenty-one years old. Parker had been a really good guy. Until yesterday.
“Babe!” Parker sounded congested with the bandages held up his nose. He had been fighting the nurse to come to your side.
“Don’t call me that!” You hissed glaring at the tall boy with the auburn hair colour that had once been your favourite colour.
“C’mon it was a mistake-Ow!” Parker whined at the nurse applied more pressure as she cast a sympathetic glance at you. A small smile of thanks passed to the nurse who had maybe pressed a little no hard on Parker’s nose.
Your eyes rolled at the drama that was Parker when it came to injuries that had been his entire fault, to be frank. Your fist meeting his face? His fault for cheating. What did he expect? A congratulations? Screw that.
“Say anything else I swear I’ll hit the other ball.” You glared at the boy sending him to a fit, shaking fear of stupidity.
The beach was filled up with teens and adults with children on the nice weekend day out of the loud city. Originally you hadn’t been able to join Parker with your mutual friends, but something else had spurred you there. Instead of having the weekly movie night via FaceTime with your younger brother, you had other plans. A particular video sent by Parker’s best friend and his cousin too had brought you here. Livvy had grown close in the three-year relationship you had with her cousin.
Your fury filled gaze flickered around the beach and the grass in the large opening area of the waterfront. Finally, your eyes found Parker sitting with Livvy on the blanket on the grass with Steve. Livvy was the first to see with marching through the people spreading like a curtain from the angry girl.
“Hey, Parker!” You shouted at your boyfriend in a conversation with your other two friends. Parker’s smile grew just before it falters at your expression.
“Hey, Babe,” Parker spoke, climbing to his full five-foot-ten stature. Livvy’s smile pulled up in an amused smirk while Steve looked more confused.
“How was your weekend at your sick Granny’s house?” You came to a stop a foot away from him. Arms crossed just under your chest his thick eyebrows furrowed together.
“Uh…it was okay. She’s feeling better.” Parker nodded to himself tilting his head to the side, “It was-“
“I hope she better. Her treatment must have been incredible.” You replied, unfurling your arms to grab the phone from your back pocket.
Parker grew more confused, “What?”
“The doctor sure knew what he was doing. The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The whistle you made after your statement sounded, but you grew more satisfied with the circle of people behind you.
“Oh.” Steve choked, raising one fist to press against his mouth. By now Livvy had started recording on her phone.
Livvy and Parker may be cousins, but she loathed cheaters when it was the cause of her parents’ divorce. Parker’s lips parted as he paled. The click of the glass screen brought up a video of Parker and a brunette in a hot tub.
“Ba-“
“Fucking look at your actions.” You hissed stepping even closer, “Was it worth it? Jeopardizing a relationship with someone you share years of memories with? Years of love and trust? All for thirty seconds of fun? We both know you tend to…get too excited.”
“Oh shit,” Steve spoke, shifting his gaze between you and Parker like he was a bobblehead of Einstein. The very bobblehead that you had laughed giving Steve with his obsession over the legendary scientist.
“It just happened. I still love you. I just needed a- “Parker stumbled back bringing his hands to his face, “OW! You broke my nose!”
“Ouch.” You hissed shaking your aching hand coated in some blood that splattered your shirt from shaking the hand.
“What the hell! You bit…holy fuck!” Parker screamed as your foot came up between his spread legs, nailing his left nut. He collapsed onto the grass, struggling to hold his bleeding broke nose and his nuts.
“That’s what you get asshole.” You shouted, turning to Livvy, “Can you take me to the hospital?”
“Parker drove, I’ll drive you both there. Steve can keep you two from fighting.” Livvy spoke, ending the video to shove everything in the oversized beach bag.
Now it was hours later as per usual in most hospitals elongating the time you were forced to spend with your now ex-boyfriend. Livvy and Steve had gone home a while back. Parker continued trying to fix the unrepairable damage he had done.
“Y-“
“That’s it!” You exclaimed jumping down from the bed to storm over to Parker. You made a few steps before arms encircled your waist.
“Okay, Slugger.” The gritty voice of your father spoke tugging you as far away from your ex-boyfriend as possible, “As much I want to kill him, I think you broke his pretty-boy face enough.”
The anger drained from your body as you slumped against your dad anguish set in with a tsunami of hurt. Time melted as you broke in your father’s arm; missing the doctor giving information. Your hand was fitted with a cast, and next thing you were aware of it was in the car.
“You bruised hits nuts. Broke his nose.” Dad nonchalantly spoke, turning the steering wheel as he exited the hospital parking lot. He didn’t bother making small talk as he let you be quiet on the drive home.
You didn’t know what hurt more, the heartache or your broken hand stabilized in the brace. The clearing of a throat had your attention is drawn to the house you had grown up no doubt holding your upset mother.
“She’s not that mad.” Dad quietly spoke, handing your phone that had died during the time in the ER. You shot him a look at the inaccuracy of his statement because you both know she was angry.
“Her daughter just spent hours in a hospital with a dead phone. We both know she probably thought I was dead in a ditch.” You deadpanned as you both walked up to the door of the home in Norman, Oklahoma.
The door opened before you could reach for it, and a flurry of blonde hair attacked you in a hug. Your mother hugged then leaned away to scan your features. Catching the dried tear stains paired with the red-rimmed eyes.
“Sweetheart.” Dinah spoke, raising her hands to wipe the tears from your face only causing more to fall, “What’s wrong?”
“Parker cheated on me.” You mumbled melting into her arms in another round of tears, breaking your parents’ hearts.
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Meanwhile in Vancouver, Canada
Owen loved his job and the people he had met, but he missed the weekly movie nights with his older sister. The Joyner siblings had gotten down pat a system of sync to have the same movie playing at the same time on FaceTime. Imagine his surprise when he got a text apologizing.
Virtual movie night postponed. It put him in a slump that greatly concerned his roommate at the decrease of excitement. Even the next day, he was sad like a kicked puppy.
“Bro? You good?” Charlie asked from his place in the kitchen, scanning his emails on his computer. Owen barely made his eyes, “Wasn’t movie night with your sister yesterday?”
Owen nodded, “Yeah she-“
As Owen had gone to explain his phone had dinged with a concerning message from his mother.
Mom: Have you heard from Y/N? She hasn’t come home.
Owen swiped out of the conversation to the most used one with you shared with him to send a mass of messages. All not even coming up as read by you. It was his stipulation that you had it one for his safe of mind.
“C’mon you little shit,” Owen grumbled, pressing your contact to call. It didn’t even ring, “Dead cell.”
Charlie’s full attention shifted to the younger guy sitting on their couch in the apartment they used during filming. As Owen started pacing, Charlie was over quick as a bunny to offer comfort to him. The boys had grown so close, with Jeremy too, that they knew how to help the other.
“Owen, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Charlie soothed the blonde with his eyes pleading with the teenager.
“My parents haven’t talked to my sister. She didn’t go home.” Owen admitted scratching at his chest when his chest tightened. The other immediately finding his pulse on his neck to ensure he still had a pulse.
“Oh shit.” Charlie retorted, tapping his foot on the hardwood floor trying to find the right words to help his friend.
For the next hour, the boys kept in contact with Owen’s family and checking your social media in shifts as they filmed. It was a slow day when Owen’s phone finally rang with his mother’s contact once more.
“Mom, did you find her?” Owen asked, picking at the skin on his lips pacing as he had all day. The level of anxiety had been perfect for the scene he had filmed as Alex.
“Yeah. Look, Owen, she needs to get out of Oklahoma. Do you have room for her?” Dinah asked her son periodically glancing in the living room at the lifeless young woman.
“Yeah. We have an extra room.” Owen supplied squeezing the phone in his grip, “How is she? What happened?”
“I’m letting her settle before I ask any questions, but her flight is in a bit. It was either you take her in, or we pay for a hotel room. Oh! I got this lego-“
“I have to get back to filming. I’ll call you tonight.” Owen told his mother as his thumb hit the record circle on his phone. Kenny waving him over to film a scene with Booboo that would be the last before heading home.
The over the counter pain pill went down with a swig of water in the airport waiting for Owen and his roommate. Owen had messaged you that he would pick you up on the way from the set in perfect timing.
“Y/N!” Owen cheered catching sight of your form hunched forward on the bench you had miraculously found empty. Your blank eyes seeing the blue of your younger brother.
Owen’s eyes widened in shock, “What the hell happened to your hand?”
Noncommittal, the girl walked by her brother with her luggage in the mission to get to the car. All you wanted was to burst into years under your blankets until the world turned again, when birds sang, and the word wasn’t painted in dull colours.
Just as it had during the ride from the hospital to the house, it was dead silent in the car with the barest sound of music. Owen and Charlie had been having a conversation with expressions with the tension in the backseat stifling.
“This is our place.” Charlie spoke, opening the apartment door with a flourish for the girl and her luggage. Your eyes scanned the modest apartment with minimal mess compared to the tornado devastation of Owen’s Oklahoma room.
“Okay.” You replied, watching as Owen rolled the luggage to the room you would use for the few weeks you would be here.
Once showered, dressed and settled, you retreated to the couch to watch a film with the two boys. Your mind fluttered between Beca’s blow out with her father and Jesse to the city of Norman. As if thinking of Parker manifested something your phone buzzed with notifications.
@/livvyjo: Go, girl! [video]
@/malia134: Parker goes down like the bitch he is!!!
@/notsteverogers: I got a front-row seat to the fight.
Those three comments on Livvy’s video had more support than hate plus the video itself was hilarious. It caught the entire confrontation from greeting the cheater to being pulled away to spend the ten minutes in the same car. The car you had hooked up in the backseat of in the years you dated him.
 “-The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The pure anger on your expression amused you.
“What are you watching?” Owen inquired from the couch he watched the movie from. It made up for the lack of a film last night.
“A girl punching her bag of shit ex-boyfriend. She almost ripped his face off in the hospital.” You softly replied with your thumb double-tapping Livvy’s post.
Charlie’s attention shifted from the pool mashup with the Barden Bellas to the pride evident in your tone. It was the first time he had heard you laugh during the few hours he had been in your presence.
“What movie?”
“Oh, you know Parker’s Dicked Down Adventures. Filmed free with an iPhone.” You spoke sliding down to sit flush to Charlie to show the video you refreshed.
Owen’s mouth opened, “He cheated on you? How stupid is he??”
“You have a mean right hook.” Charlie supplied replaying the video for the third time with a weird feeling in his gut. The confidence stirred a body warming heat in the Canadian actor unlike anything else he had felt before.
“Dad taught me.” You replied, slouching down in the plush couch with a tiny smiling, “The nurse heard what happened. She put excessive pressure for his actions. I overheard his diagnosis; nasty bruised testicle and a broken nose.”
Both boys winced at the description. Owen ditching Charlie’s side to sit beside you, leaving you in the middle of the boys.
“I almost attacked him before Dad dragged me out of the room.” You recounted snuggling into your younger brother’s side.
“Where are my keys?” Owen questioned his roommate, “We need them to drive to the airport. I need to kill the ass that hurt my sister.”
Your deft fingers grasped Owen’s wrist when he went to get up because, in all honesty, he probably would book a flight. He wouldn’t go through with the plan to physically hurt Parker, but Owen had a wicked tongue for insults.
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You spent one month in Vancouver with your brother and his castmates from helping Maddie with her homework. Movie nights with Owen changed to include Charlie too. Shopping trips with Sav and Tori. Baking with Jadah. You became family with them.
All good things come to an end. You had settled back in Norman with brighter plans that didn’t involve relying on men. Movie nights still happened with the boys, but things got hectic. Virtual movie nights shifted to texting Charlie and calls.
“Hey dork.” Charlie spoke walking down the street in Vancouver to the restaurant he was meeting the cast at. His lips pulled back in a massive grin, hearing your voice.
“Hey Char!” You enthusiastically spoke, walking out of the building with more pep in your step at the voice of the man, “What’s up?”
“On my way for food with everyone. How are you feeling?” Charlie asked, rubbing his fingertips on the dark denim pants. The sound of your voice brightening up his day more than he thought possible.
“Ooh. I should let you go, huh?” You questioned shifting to hold the phone between your shoulder and chin. Fingers unlocked the new car you had bought with the money you had saved.
A nice change of money from selling the jewellery, clothes and other miscellaneous gifts Parker had given you. The necklace he gave you that once belonged to his grandmother had been given back to him. Other than that you had no interaction with the ass.
“I’d rather talk to you.” Charlie admitted biting his lip in concentration, “I have a question.”
“Okay. What’s your question?” You questioned as your phone connected to your car—Charlie’s voice coming through the car speakers.
“Filming is almost over. Do you have plans for New Years? I’d like you to see you again.”
His words set a flutter of butterflies moving in your stomach at his nervous confidence striking the new information. The change in your friendship had been felt on his side as well and while you usually would think one-month post cheating wasn’t long enough. Something about Charlie felt comfortable as if everything had been preparing to fall for him.
“I could fly-“
“I’d like to see where you grew up. Your favourite places and where you went to school. I want to know the little things that made you who you are.” Charlie spoke coming to a stop outside the restaurant, waiting for your answer.
Owen’s eyes pulled from his debate with Sacha and Jeremy to the nervous Canadian biting his lip outside the window. By the expression on his face, Owen couldn’t guess who he was talking about. It was the smile that had been appearing on Charlie’s face for the last two weeks you had been staying with them.
Charlie had fallen for Owen’s big sister, and he couldn’t think of anyone better. The bond between you and Charlie had been natural and magical to watch. It was kinda gross seeing his best friend and sister having heart eyes with each other. Yet, Owen had never liked Parker, but he loved the idea of having Charlie as a brother.
“Y-yeah. Of course, you can Char.” The flattering blush heated up your skin at the turn in the convo—a grin splitting on the two individuals with more than three thousand kilometres between them.
“Cool. I should join the cast. I’ll text you later.”
“Bye, Charlie.” You whispered to the boy looking out the window noticing something she had been oblivious to.
The world had regained the colour, the birds sang again, and the world turned once more. All because a boy helped her heal.
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your-highnessmarvel · 3 years
Text
From Bleak to Bright - Part Twelve
All other parts on on my masterlist, link provided below.
AN:  To the nonnie who suggested a line, it’ll be in part 13 :) I THINK YOU GUYS WILL LIKE THIS CHAPTER! i’ve stopped being rude to our poor loki ;) More to come this week yall. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Warnings: angst, language, SMUT (18+ ONLY)
MASTERLIST - SERIES MASTERLIST
PART TWELVE
“I’ve had it,” you said, pushing away your dinner. 
“Yeah, me too,” Bruce sighed, eating the last fry and leaning back in his chair with a sigh. “I don’t get it. Why give this big ass meal if no one has ever finished it?”
“It’s not called the Impossible Plate for nothing, Bruce,” you mumbled, toying with the hem of your shirt.
“Still,” he mumbled, yawning. “I’ll have to sleep for days to digest this.”
You laughed, watching your brother, who’d grown a white hair or two in the last years, bend over an eating contest you’d both known you’d never be able to finish. 
But at least you were spending time with Bruce, not wallowing around in your apartment, waiting for the sun to set, for a certain someone to climb out of the shadows. 
“So,” Bruce said, wiping the corner of his mouth. “Did you and Nat find any cute boys the other night?”
You rolled your eyes, panic rising in your throat because no, both of you had returned home beau-less, but you’d recently found someone else. And you were not about to let Bruce know. Not now. Not ever. 
But truth is, you hadn’t seen Loki since the night he came back, and your tummy was a turmoil of panic and butterflies. Had he left once again? What was he doing? Where? With who?
You gulped down the terror rising in your throat as you smiled tightly at Bruce. “No, well, you know how it is,” you said awkwardly. “They all wanna talk to Nat so I kind of awkwardly step to the side.”
Bruce nodded. “Well, Nat is a very beautiful woman,” he sighed.
“Ew, Bruce stop.”
“But some men like women like you too.”
“What, ugly?”
“Oh my God, Y/N, stop it,” your brother grumbled. “Half the men in here swiveled their necks when you walked in.”
You wanted to hide in your hands. 
But then Bruce’s face changed and you knew what was coming. He always did this. Always. As if he just had to make sure you were miserable, just for the sake of the planet’s safety.
“I need to tell you something,” Bruce said with a frown. God, you hoped he was fine. But something in the lines of his face made worry climb in your belly. “There’s news from... from Asgard.”
It was as if that word was poison to you. “Loki,” you mumbled, throat raw.
“Thor delivered some news yesterday,” your brother continued, toying with his fingers, a nervous habit of his. “Loki... Loki died.”
You frowned, your head snapping up to meet Bruce’s warm brown gaze. “Dead?” you asked.
That was impossible. Just two days ago, he’d been standing in your apartment. He’d been... You gulped.
Bruce put his elbows on the table, initiating his Big Brother Stance. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered. “I know it must be terrible news for you.”
You dipped your chin, searching your last moments with Loki, trying to decipher if he’d given you a hint. This made no sense. How could Loki, the God of Mischief, be dead?
“How?” you asked. 
Bruce sighed. “Thor broke him out of prison to help him cure Jane of the Aether, and well, Loki was killed in a battle.”
You were frowning so hard it hurt. 
“I am so sorry, little sis,” Bruce murmured, reaching across the table to touch your hand. You immediately jerked it away, regretting the harsh movement as you saw hurt crossing your brother’s features, but not caring at the same time. How could he be dead?
You stood, the chair scraping on the wooden floor. You grabbed your bag, heart pounding, breath roaring in your ears.
“Y/N,” Bruce said, eyeing you with worry creasing his face. 
“I’m gonna go,” you mumbled, not bothering with the bill or politeness or the fact that you were running out of a restaurant. 
The street sounds were a blur to you as you all but ran out, bumping into people, muttering excuses. You walked by habit, heart a sore muscle, thoughts jumbling. How could Loki be dead in two days? Had Thor delivered the news a few days ago? Or today?
You were vaguely aware of your phone buzzing in your pocket, but all you could concentrate on was Loki’s presence. He’d been in and out of your apartment for weeks, repairing this or that, and it was only two days ago that he’d been in your apartment, kissing you. 
He just couldn’t be dead. 
It was late evening as you rushed up the stairs of your apartment complex, blood roaring in your ears, breath panting as you burst through the door. You didn’t bother locking it. Rushing to the curtains, you ripped them closed, ushering in more darkness. He only seemed to come to you in the dark. 
Standing there like an idiot, panting, silence filling your ears, you called out to him. At first, it was weak. A raw attempt to conjure him as if he was a ghost. But then the anger got to you, sweeping in hot against the inside of your rib cage, and you balled your fingers into fists. 
“Loki, fuck!” you exclaimed, feeling your cheeks warm.
The shadow behind you spoke. “Love hearing my name like that.”
You whirled, watching him melt from the shadows as if he’d been there all along. Black long sleeve cotton sweater, black trousers, boots to match. His hair had been cut since the last time you’d seen him. The long strands now short just below his ears, pushed back unevenly. 
He glowed, looking healthier, more like himself than when he’d been begging you never to let him go. 
“I thought you didn’t want me,” he said, pouting his lower lip. As he moved across the living room floor to stand before you, he put a hand to his heart. “Wounds me.”
“Are you really here?” you asked, resisting the urge to slap him for his arrogance.
“Why don’t you come and find out, beloved?” He opened his arms wide, a smirk tugging at the treacherous corners of that delicious mouth. 
You walked right up to him and clocked him in the jaw. His head snapped back, smirk wiping off his face, arms falling to his sides. When he looked back at you, standing close and seething, his left brow rose slowly. “I do not believe I’ve ever deserved such treatment.”
“Thor’s been saying you’re dead,” you accused, looking up at him from under your brows. 
The smirk slowly came back. “I may have helped spread that rumor,” he admitted, reaching out the touch the lapel of your coat. You inched back, but he snapped his hand closed and pulled you closer. “You must understand, Y/N, that this little lie I’ve shaped up allows us to be together.” He dipped his chin, eyes boring into yours. 
He was so close that you could feel the heat of him through your clothes. He’d been so cold the other night.
He licked his lips, inching slightly towards your mouth. “When you’re a powerful God and sorcerer like me, faking your death is like breathing. Easy.”
Your eyes widened, but the hurt you’d felt in your heart seemed to evaporate. If he’d faked his death, that meant he was really here. Unburdened. No one even knew he lived and breathed. 
His hands went into your coat, swiftly sliding it off your shoulders. You watched him, memorized the lines of his face. 
“It’s just you and me now,” he murmured, your coat hitting the floor with a deafening thud. “We can go wherever we please.”
His hands found home on your hips, burying his face in your neck and inhaling, the scent of him invading your senses. He gently wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you against him, flush, like two puzzle pieces. He was warm, oh so warm. He smelled like wood fire and something unique to him that made your body feel... safe. 
“Say something, baby,” he mumbled against the flesh of your neck, sending shivers gliding down your back. His warm, big hands slid against your waist until he held your ribcage. Surely, he could feel just how hard your heart was beating. 
“I thought you were dead,” you murmured. 
You felt him chuckle against you as he straightened, his hands cupping your cheeks. “I can show you how very much alive I am,” he whispered, his voice thick. 
You gulped. Something in you fizzled, dripping thick, honeyed want into your belly. 
But Loki cocked his head. “I could take you here,” he said, eyes faraway, as if he was talking to himself. “I could... Gods, stop looking at me like that.”
He brought his mouth to yours, kissing you so fiercely that you forgot his whole “pretending to be dead” thing. The way his mouth molded to yours stole the breath from your lungs, driving you mad with the need of him. He was so soft, yet so rough, a restraint in him only felt as you grabbed onto his taunt shoulders. He was keeping himself controlled. 
You wondered what it would be like if he didn’t. 
He said your name through kisses, pushing onto you until the backs of your knees found the edge of the couch. “I’ve been starved for two years,” he mumbled, biting onto your lower lip. “Bled out.” Another breathtaking kiss. “All I wanted was you.”
You briefly remembered the way he’d looked that first time you saw him: disgusted, and how ironic was that now. He was bound to you so fiercely you felt it in your bones, and he was on his knees, wanting you more than anything. More than his own life. 
“Loki,” you murmured, breathing him in, kissing him back with as much heat as you could muster. You took ahold of his shirt with courage that seemed to pour in the more he ravaged you with his mouth. Pulling him back, you brought him down onto the couch, straddling him with ease. It really was like fitting two puzzle pieces. 
He huffed, his eyes searching your face with a look you could only chalk up to awe. His hands delicately treaded along your waist, skimming your hips as you lowered yourself flush against him. You could feel him through his pants, warm and hard, and the thought that just the sight of you got Loki so aroused made you bite your lip. 
He looked up at you, caressing your ribcage. “I could have you like this,” he whispered, his other hand skimming your belly and up, until he toyed with your nipple through your shirt. “I would have you how ever you want, Y/N,” he said, reaching for your mouth.
You dipped your fingers into his hair, grasping, bringing you against him until instinct took over and you rolled your hips, feeling his teeth nip you through the kiss. A low rumble came from him, his hand grasping your hip. “Careful, love,” he warned, nipping at your neck, your hands gripping the strands of dark hair. “Or I’ll be in a hurry.”
You smiled. Genuinely smiled. It was the first time in what felt like ages that the stretch of your lips felt real. You’d been living a lie for two years and now, straddling this dark prince of Gods, you knew this is where you belonged.
He brought his mouth back to yours. “Runaway with me,” he said, splaying both hands down the length of your back. “Please.”
You closed your eyes, kissing his jaw, down his neck, rolling your hips until you knew just how much of him you’d be dealing with. That low rumble came back, his hand snapping out and gripping your neck. With a hiss, he brought you back until you could meet his eyes. 
You gulped, but you couldn’t help the knot of arousal coiling in your belly. “Don’t play with me,” he warned, eyes dark in the dimly lit room. 
The left corner of your mouth tugged up and you barely saw him move. You knew he had superhuman strength and speed, but you’d never seen him use it before. And now, one moment you were straddling him, the next you were on the floor, Loki poised menacingly between your legs. 
When you looked up, panting, the pressure of Loki’s hand around your throat, his eyes were hooded. 
“Touch me,” he said. 
You felt the heat pouring into your face, but the hand around your neck eased until it grasped onto yours, guiding it to Loki’s arousal. He was so warm, so hard as you pressed your hand against him, eliciting a low groan from him. 
You watched him as his head bent slightly, eyes shutting, grasping him through his pants. He seemed to tremble, both hands in fists either side of your head. And then he let out a low groan, his mouth brushing yours. 
“The things you fucking do to me, love,” he whispered against your mouth before kissing you so hard you saw stars. 
He grabbed onto both sides of your jeans and tugged, making you lose touch with him and sliding softly on the floor. He smiled, kissing your neck down to the swell of your breast until he was face to face with the apex between your legs. He tugged again when you slowly rose your hips from the ground, watching him, seeing the way his eyes drank you in like a drug. 
Your jeans hit the ground and you instinctively closed your legs, but Loki’s long fingers on your knees pushed them apart as he settled there, his mouth finding home on the flesh of your neck. 
“I don’t think I’ll be able to,” he mumbled, fingers playing along the inside of your thigh, “but you can stop me if you want.”
Something akin to awe swelled in your chest and you grabbed onto his face, bringing his mouth back onto yours. He grunted, moving until your left leg was wide open for him. 
His fingers delicately pushed your panties aside, his mouth nipping at yours. You trembled, not because it was cold, and he sensed the way your bones seemed to flutter. “I got you, baby,” he whispered, two long, warm fingers finding your clit and rubbing slow, tentative circles that made you arch your back. 
Loki dipped his chin, grasping a nipple in his mouth through your shirt. You’d stopped wearing bras since the last time you’d seen him.
A whimper left you as Loki continued his ministrations, the pressure just right, the circles so languid. You lost yourself to the rhythm, rolling your hips into his hand, his mouth kissing up your neck and leaving a trail purely his. 
“Yeah?” he whispered in your ear, the pressure on his fingers increasing and you mewled, grasping his hair. “That’s a good girl, huh.” You flushed, lost in the storm of his words and the way his hand felt so fucking good. 
The pressure on your nub left momentarily, replaced by a long finger easing into you. Loki let out a low groan. “Gods, you’re so soft and wet.” His voice was like pure sin as his thumb found your nub and he gently rubbed, finding the perfect rhythm for you.
You arched your back as his finger found that soft spot in you, a cry passing through clenched teeth. 
“That feel good, love?” he muttered against your neck, kissing and biting. “Tell me.”
“Yes,” you moaned, the combined pleasure of his thumb and finger in and on you making you a complete puddle. 
He chuckled, something dark seeping from him, as he slowly started to lower himself until he was face to face with you. A blush crept up your face and he watched what he was doing to you. 
“So pretty,” he mumbled, and you saw him lower his mouth until his tongue made a bold swipe, replacing his thumb, and you all but cried out, chest arching off the floor. “That’s more like it,” his breathed against you.
And then he all but made you toss yourself off the edge. His tongue was a gift sent from the Gods, and the more he sucked and swirled your clit, his finger easing in and out of you, the closer you got to a real precipice. 
There was a knot in your belly, and whenever Loki’s tongue pressed ever so slightly against your core, you swore you almost broke. 
“Loki, I’m... oh God.” You reached down to grasp his hair. 
His pace seemed to quicken ever the slightest, his tongue working wonders against your clit until your insides felt like lead and that knot threatened to erupt. When he added another finger, so easily, you gasped, a broken moan clenched in your mouth, as the edge came and you toppled, Loki’s name on your tongue.
You were vaguely aware of Loki as he kissed the inside of your thigh, wiping his mouth onto your flesh. You were a puddle, breathing erratic as he loomed over you. 
“Runaway with me, Y/N,” he whispered, kissing your neck, your jaw, claiming your mouth and forcing you to taste yourself. “Come on,” he murmured, hands skimming your ribcage. “I could have you cumming for me like this every day.”
The thought made you smile. 
He grabbed your hand and kissed your palm, tugging until you could sit up and meet his gaze. 
“I’m begging you,” he continued, his voice so low, so thick as he kissed your hairline. 
You breathed in. “Okay.”
AAAAHHHHHH = me writing smut always. PART THIRTEEN ALREADY IN THE WORKS!!!
tags: @subtlemalice @yallgotkik @buckyandlokirunmylife @kaz11283 @legolas-bromance @shylittlemountain @tofeartheunknown @feelmyfckngsoul @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @caffiend-queen @tomhollandsslilslut @lady-loki-ren @nathan-no @rosaline-black @abundanceofcarolines @my-own-oracle @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @marvelouslovely @drbaureid @bored-as-hell-666 @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @theinfinitenerd @toe-vind-ek-jou @ink-and-starlight @blank-bakabane @sunshineonloki @holaamishamigos @palegoopbearlight @heyarely16 @pleaseexecuteme @athalahild @help-i-need-a-social-life @tapismyforte @coloursforyourportrait @celestialstarshadow @fukyouthink @lust-for-pan @thic-thor @winchescumberholland @morganmofresh @dazedkrosupreme @postsbyjenipeo  @blblabalabla (couldn’t work bb) @copper-boom 
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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years
Text
Renewal
...........this one absolutely kicked my ass today, it took me forever to get anything done lol
also, for the anon that asked for the prompt of rowan dancing with their daughter, i finally got around to it!!
cw: a lil bit of angst, like a tiny bit but otherwise its just fluff
1.1k words
enjoy! :)
It was the perfect spring day, the soft breeze sent the delicate smells of the wild-flowers that grew in Oakwald Forest. With her Fae hearing, Aelin could hear the gentle rushing of the river stream and the happy buzzing of bees.
Aelin spotted the Royal Painter working away, but soon Aelin's eyes found Rowan's as the Priestess stepped forward and began the speech of thanking everyone for coming to Aelin and Rowan's vow renewal after twenty-eight years of marriage—and what a blessed marriage it had been, the young priestess pointing towards their children that sat in the front row, dressed in finery and their hair neatly brushed and styled.
Aelin looked away from Rowan for a brief moment to take in her children. Everyday was a sharp reminder of how they were growing. Elentiya was fifteen now, Norrin was twelve, Alder nine, Isolde six and Elowynn was four and a half (who was considerably distracted by the Little Folk watching from the trees and bushes surrounding them). It still felt like yesterday when she held them all in her arms, falling asleep against her chest as she marvelled at the life that she and Rowan created.
Rowan laced his fingers through hers, bringing Aelin back into the present when she realised that it was time for the handfasting ceremony.
The ribbon was simple braided cotton rope, decorated with charms that the children had picked out months ago. There were personal charms that the King and Queen had picked out hidden among their children's.
When it was time to say the vows, Aelin recited hers in the Old Language, having secretly studied the language for years with her rare free time. She would never forget the unrestrained, glorious smile that Rowan responded with. And even though they weren't supposed to kiss until the priestess said so, her mate rushed forward and kissed her once she was finished. Aelin melted under his touch, nearly thirty years together and he still got her heart racing.
His vows were said in the Old Language, too, and despite their children only a couple feet away, with their loved ones around them, it was like they were the only two souls in the world.
“To whatever end, Fireheart,” Rowan said, his accent stronger when he spoke the Fae language.
“To whatever end.”
X X X X X X X
Perched on Rowan's lap, Aelin watched as her friends circled around the room, talking, eating and dancing when the band started anew.
She had no reason to be sad, but each time she saw her friends, they always looked a little bit older. Chaol's hair was half grey, half brown, his frame thinner, too. Dorian's eyes were wild with crow's feet, the lines more pronounced when he laughed or smiled.
Even Evangeline was grown now, when sometimes Aelin still saw that young girl that helped the Queen win back her kingdom.
She told herself that it was good, in a twisted way—that her friends got to live, and love and help rebuild the world, but one day, they would all leave it behind, as would their children, and their grandchildren when the time came about.
And Aelin didn't want that to happen. Hated that they were not immortal like her and Rowan and Fenrys. Gods, Aelin was fairly certain that she would even miss Lorcan when he died—his pitch black hair showed thin little lines of grey, too.
Rowan ran a hand up and down her bare arm, smoothing away the distress she must have sent down the bond.
Happy things, she was to think of happy things on her wedding day. Like how her mate's eyes darkened when he saw her walking down the aisle, the metallic gold velvet dress hugging her body almost indecently.
She knew that if they were alone, the dress wouldn't have lasted ten seconds without him ripping it off her and having his wicked way with her, right on the forest floor.
Happy things like how the day after tomorrow, they were leaving for Suria for a week and a half to stay in a manor house near the beach. It was just going to be the two of them, alone for the first time in who knew how long, and clothing was completely optional. All the loud, uninterrupted sex they were going to have.
Happy things like how handsome Rowan looked in his dark green and silver embroidered tunic and dark brown pants and polished boots.
Happy things like how her children were all dancing together and laughing and Lysandra dragging Aedion onto the marble floor to dance with her. Chaol and Yrene talking with their grandchildren.
Happy things like the bright smile that Elentiya wore as she made her way over to Aelin and Rowan.
Their eldest looked radiant in a silk dress the shade of purple wisteria. It was rare to see her dressed in such a fashion, because while she did inherit Aelin's admiration of fashion, Elentiya was very much like her father in the regard that she preferred simple and practical clothing and fabrics for day to day life; but today was special and Elentiya had picked out the dress herself, as well as the silver shoes and silver earrings and necklace.
Elentiya sat on Aelin's lap, the Queen's arms going around her daughter and she wiggled her toes in her shoes, telling her parents about the silly things that Dorian was talking about earlier. Mother and daughter picked at Rowan's half eaten chocolate hazelnut cake (nearly thirty years together, and he still didn't like sweets, but tolerate them from time to time. Aelin was determined that she would get him to like the treats at one point in her long life).
All three of them spoke among themselves when suddenly, Elentiya left Aelin's lap and smiled at her father.
“Papa, will you dance with me, please?”
“Of course,” Rowan said and kissed Aelin's cheek as she left his lap. Rowan escorted their eldest onto the floor, her hand tiny compared to his.
Aelin watched, joyful tears soon flooding her eyes as Rowan danced with Elentiya, picking her up and spinning her around, his smile wide as she giggled. They swept across the floor, everyone watching them now as they went through one dance and smoothly moved to another, their footsteps never getting tangled as the orchestra when from one symphony to another. They danced for a lifetime and Aelin would never get sick of the sight, never get over how much she used to hate Rowan but now loved him with every fiber of her being. How he loved their children and would go to hell and back and war again to ensure that they were happy and free.
The happy things were the most important in life, and with her heart near to bursting with love, Aelin crowned her mate and their child with bright crowns of fire and they continued their waltz, their smiles a mirror of the others.
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samwilsonsbabymama · 4 years
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A Change of Scenery: A Surprise
Pairing: Dad!Angel Reyes x Mom Black!Reader (but anyone can read)
Summary: Y/n spends time with a friend as she deals with Angel being on a long run handling club business. When Angel returns, Y/n has a surprise for him, but he has one for Y/n as well.
Warnings: 18+, fluff, smut, cockwarming, 
Word Count: < 3,300
A/N: Here’s part 4! I’m blown away with the response to this fic! Thank you all for showing me so much love, you don’t know how much I appreciate it! Big thanks to @my-rosegold-soul​ for being such a big help and for being an all around amazing person 💖☀️💖
✨I don’t give anyone permission to copy/translate/repost/rewrite my work. Minors, DNI at all. ✨ 
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While Angel and Coco were preparing for their run in a few days, you, Coco’s girlfriend, Alexandra, and the kids went out to lunch. You always had a great time when you hung out with Alex. She was exactly like Coco in every way and being around her always made you feel better. She had a light about her that filled a room when she walked in, and everyone loved her. 
The two of you spent a lot of time together when Angel and Coco were away on longer runs, and this one was no exception. As you waited for your food to come, you planned out what you were going to do while the boys were gone. 
Alex ordered mimosas for both of you, and she eyed you curiously when you chose to drink water instead.
“So, is there something you want to tell me?” Alex asked as she sipped her drink.
You raised your eyebrow in question and smiled when she pointed to your untouched drink. You glanced at your two kids before you reached into your purse and pulled out the envelope.
“I found out yesterday,” you said as you pulled out the ultrasound photos. “I haven’t told Angel yet because I want to do something cute to tell him. It sucks that he has to leave in a few days.”
Alex bounced in her seat as she looked at the photos.
“Wait a minute,” she gasped. “Y/n, why are there two arrows?”
Your face lit up at the question. “Because,” you glanced towards Imani and AJ to make sure they weren’t listening, “I’m pregnant with twins!”
Alex squealed at the news, “I’m so excited for you! Angel is going to flip the fuck out!”
“Shhh, Alex!” you chastised, but you laughed along with her.
“We have to find the perfect way to tell Angel!” Alex said. You could already see the wheels turning in her mind.
You smiled at her excitement, and you couldn’t wait to see what the two of you came up with.
After the four of you ate, AJ and Imani begged to go see Letty. It had been a few weeks since she last babysat and they missed her. Alex gave in and the two young children kissed you goodbye before climbing into Alex’s car.
Angel was home when you got back and when he realized the kids weren’t with you, he was all over you. Since he was going to be gone for around three weeks, he wanted to make sure you didn’t miss him too much. This wasn’t the first run he’d gone on during your relationship, but it was going to be the longest one so far, and you felt as if he were apologizing for leaving for so long. 
Moments after you walked through the door, Angel had you pinned beneath him as he thrust slowly into you. Your eyes were screwed shut as he whispered sweet words into your ear. Angel had teased that you couldn’t stay quiet while he was inside of you, and you were trying your hardest to keep quiet, but he was making it so damn hard. 
You felt him everywhere as he talked you through your orgasm. He swallowed your cries as you came around him and his thrusts never slowed. You wrapped your legs tighter around him as you came in an attempt to pull him in deeper.
Angel pulled out of you and flipped you onto your stomach before sliding back in. His fingers dug into your waist as he continued to fuck you. Your pants were getting louder by the second as Angel split you open. A sharp slap landed on your ass before Angel laid his full weight on top of you.
“Shhhh, mi dulce, you gotta be quiet,” he said into your ear. His body covered yours as he fucked you and he made you feel small. His fingers laced with yours as he continued to rock into you. 
“Angel, please,” you whispered.
“Please what, Y/n?” he teased.
“Please, please, please,” you didn’t know what you were begging for, but you knew that Angel would give it to you.
“You feel amazing, Y/n,” Angel praised. “You’re gonna feel me for days after this.”
You nodded and clenched around him.
“This is the one, Y/n, I know it is,” he said. His hips moved faster and your whines filled the air. 
Angel thrust into you harder and faster as he chased his high. You came around him once again, the tightness of your walls sending him hurtling into his release. His hips stuttered as he released his load into you. You both groaned at the feeling of him finishing inside of you. You felt him slip out of you, and you groaned at the loss. 
You closed your eyes in content and sighed. Just as you were slipping into a peaceful slumber, Angel shook you awake.
You grumbled as he continued to gently shake you.
“Lemme sleep, Angel,” you grumbled again.
“I will, just…” he paused.
You peeked your eyes open and looked at him. “Hmm?”
“Just come keep me warm,” he mumbled.
That got your attention. You moved as fast as you could and climbed on top of him. Angel chuckled and his arms moved to pull you close. Angel slowly pushed himself into you, aware of your sore body. Once he was fully inside of you, you rested your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Between Angel’s roaming hands and the sound of his heartbeat, you were lulled to sleep in no time.
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During the weeks that Angel was gone, you spent time with Alex. She’d come up with a great idea of sending Angel on a scavenger hunt and announcing your pregnancy at the clubhouse. And a few days before the boys were due to come back, Alex spent the day at your house helping you get ready.
“I found these shirts for Imani and AJ that say ‘Big Brother’ and ‘Big Sister’ on them,” Alex said as she pulled out her phone to show you the pictures. 
“I like those,” you chewed on your lip.
Alex sensed your mood change and looked up. “What’s wrong, mama?” she moved closer to you and pulled you into a hug.
“What if this is too much for Angel?” you began to cry. “What if we moved too fast and this pushes him away from me?”
Alex held you in her arms as you cried. She rocked you side to side and let you get all of your worries out. When you stopped crying, she pulled back and looked into your eyes.
“Angel is not going to leave you, Y/n,” she said. “From all the time I’ve known him, he has been his happiest with you. I don’t even remember him being this happy with AJ’s mother all those years ago.”
You sniffed and wiped your eyes and gave Alex a watery smile. “Thank you, Alex.” you sniffed again.
“How long have you been feeling like this?” she asked as she pulled you into her side.
You shrugged, “A few days, it’s been really hard without Angel this time.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Alex rubbed your back, “I’m going to come and stay with you until Angel gets back. I’m sure Letty will enjoy some time to herself.”
You both laughed at the thought because you knew for a fact that Letty would jump at the chance of being in the house alone.
You looked at the clock and perked up a bit.
“I’m going to tell Imani and AJ today,” you started looking for your keys so that you could pick them up from daycare.
“Want me to come with you?” Alex asked.
You shook your head, “No, you don’t have to. I’ll take them out for ice cream and maybe to a movie. Ya know, butter them up a bit, soften the blow.”
Alex chuckled, “You know how sweet my niece and nephew are; they’re gonna be the best big brother and sister in the world.” 
You nodded in agreement. “Yeah, those two are pretty sweet.”
After you promised to call Alex when you were on your way home with the kids, you made your way to the daycare.
Your heart melted when Imani and AJ ran up to you when they saw you.
“Mommy!” they cried in unison. They both told you about their day at the same time, often finishing each other’s sentences.
You drove straight to their favorite ice cream shop and they cheered when you parked. You helped them both out of the car and ordered their favorite ice cream while they found a place to sit.
You sat in silence for a few moments while they ate.
“So, I have something to tell you two,” you were a little nervous but you needed to get this out. “AJ, you’re going to be a big brother, and Imani, you’re going to be a big sister.”
“But I’m already a big brother,” AJ responded with a confused look on his face.
“You’re going to be a big brother again, and Imani is going to be a big sister for the first time,” you clarified. Even though they were the same age, Imani and AJ thought it was important to remind everyone that AJ was older than Imani… even though it was by a couple of months.
Imani’s face lit up when what you said registered.
“I’m going to be a big SISTER!” she yelled and bounced in her seat, a bright smile gracing her face.
“Wait! Are you buying a baby!” AJ exclaimed, his excitement matching Imani’s.
You couldn’t help but laugh at what AJ said, you were ecstatic that they were happy about the new additions.
“Well, no, I’m not buying a baby,” you clarified. “There’s a baby in my belly… well actually two babies in my belly.”
Imani shrieked, “Two babies! Mommy has two babies in her belly!”
You were thankful that the shop was empty as you tried to quiet Imani down but AJ joined in with her.
“Imani, do you know what this means?” he questioned and gently shook his sister, and she shook her head. “This means that I get a baby, and you get a baby! We both get our own baby!”
The excitement that the two of them had filled your heart with love. You knew that if they reacted this way, then Angel’s happiness would be even greater.
On your way home, you called Alex to let her know that she could head over to your house. When she arrived, Imani and AJ practically tackled her to the ground.
“Did you know that mommy is having a baby?” AJ screamed when Alex walked through the door.
“And she’s having a baby for me too!” Imani interjected as she climbed onto Alex’s lap.
Hearing their excited words reminded you that this needed to stay a secret for a few days. You and Alex exchanged a look before you sat across from them.
“Imani, AJ, we need to talk.”
When they saw the serious look on your face, they quieted and gave you their full attention.
“I know you are excited about the news,” you began, and you reached out to take their hands in yours. “But we need to keep it a secret because Daddy doesn’t know yet.”
“Why not?” AJ asked.
Your shoulders dropped. “I haven’t had a chance to tell him, but we’re going to tell him when he comes home in a few days.”
“Your secret is safe with me, mommy,” AJ zipped his lips and locked them and Imani nodded and mimicked him and they both stuck the ‘key’ in their pockets.
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The next few days flew past thanks to having Alex in the house with you. When Angel texted you that he would be home in an hour, you two set your plan in motion. Alex left to go do her part and you got yourself and the kids dressed and ready to leave. Before you left, you placed the first clue on the bed for Angel to find.
You made your way to your hiding spot outside of the clubhouse when Angel called you.
“Mi dulce, where are you?” Angel’s voice rumbled through the phone.
“Did you see my letter?” you asked, completely ignoring his question.
“I did, but I thought I’d be able to come home and spend the next few hours between your-”
“You’re on speakerphone, Angel!” you yelled as you drowned out the end of his sentence.
Angel chuckled, “I keep forgetting. Hi AJ and Imani, I hope you were good for mommy while I was gone.”
“Always, Daddy!” Imani yelled.
“Did you find the card, Daddy? You gotta come find us!” AJ yelled.
“Yes you do, Angel,” you added. “The clock is ticking, Mr. Reyes.”
“I’m reading it now,” he paused as he read the words on the paper. “Okay, I’m heading to the kitchen to look in the fridge.”
“I’m not going to stay on the phone with you though, your last clue will lead you to me,” you said.
Angel grumbled, “How many clues are there?” he was on clue #2 and searching for the third.
“There’s only ten.”
“Only ten?” he repeated sarcastically.
“Yup, now, I’m going to let you finish-”
“I’m trying to finish inside of you, but-”
“Angel,” you snapped, “speakerphone. As I was saying, I’m going to let you finish, and when you’re done, you can come find us.”
“Hmmm, Coco just texted me saying that you’re sitting across the street from the clubhouse.”
“Angel, please do the scavenger hunt,” you pouted.
“Anything for you, mi amor,” Angel replied before the two of you said your goodbyes and hung up the phone. 
Since everyone knew that you were at the clubhouse, you pulled in and parked near the door. Before you got out, you made sure that your jacket was zipped as well as the kids’ jackets.
“Now remember, keep your jackets zipped until I tell you to take them off,” you reminded the kids.
Part of Alex’s job was to get Felipe and EZ to the clubhouse before Angel got there, and by the looks of the parking lot, she had succeeded. You also knew that since Angel knew where you were, he would not finish the scavenger hunt, so you had about 5 minutes to get ready. 
The moment you went inside, Imani and AJ took off looking for their tios, leaving you by yourself, so you headed over to the bar.
“So are you gonna tell me why Alex practically dragged me out of bed saying that I needed to be here?” came EZ’s voice from behind you.
“You’re gonna have to wait to find out,” you shrugged before giving him a hug and spotting Felipe making his way over with a smile.
“Mija, how are you?” Felipe asked when EZ released you from his hold. “What’s this all about? Where’s Angel?”
As if he had heard his name, the sound of his bike filled your ears and you smiled. You called out to Imani and AJ and had them stand next to you in the middle of the clubhouse.
Angel’s eyes landed on you the moment he walked in and he took calculated steps to get to you.
“What’s all this for, mama?” he asked after giving you a kiss.
“AJ and Imani have something to show you,” you smiled, giving the kids the ‘okay’ to unzip their jackets.
Angel kneeled down to get a better look at their shirts, his eyes flipped between the two for a few moments before his eyes filled with tears.
“Do you like our shirts, daddy?” Imani asked as they stood in front of him.
“I love them, princess,” he said, his voice cracking a bit. “You’re finally going to be a big sister, huh? And AJ’s gonna be a big brother again?” he hugged the two bouncing kids and his shoulders shook as he cried.
When he pulled back, he wiped his eyes before you took a step closer to him. You threaded your fingers in his hair as he placed a kiss on your belly. You two cried together for a few seconds before he spoke again.
“So you’re pregnant?” he asked, his fingers gently grazed your belly as you nodded. “I bet it happened right before I left, I knew that was the one,” he replied with a cocky grin.
You shook your head. “Actually, it happened before that. Way before that,” you replied. “I umm, I might have known before you left.” You chewed your lip as you waited for his response.
“Before I left? And you didn’t tell me?” he pouted.
“I wanted to do something cute,” you rolled your eyes at him.
“You’re lucky that I love you, Y/n,” Angel said with a chuckle.
“Oh! Do you want to see my shirt?” you beamed at him, and when he nodded, you took a step back. You slowly removed your jacket and revealed your shirt to him allowing him to read it. You held your breath as you waited for his reaction.
“Twincess? I don’t-” he gave you a confused look before it clicked. “Wait, so, you’re telling me that I knocked you up twice? I got you pregnant twice!” he shouted before pulling you back to him.
You laughed as everyone cheered around you and Angel. You looked back down at him and smiled, “Why are you still down on your knees, Angel?”
“You make me so very happy, Y/n,” Angel said as he grasped your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles. “I never thought, I’d find a love like this. Not only do you love me, but you love my son as if he were your own.”
You opened your mouth to speak, but Angel shook his head and continued talking.
“You and Imani are a blessing, and I can’t remember what my life was without you,” Angel smiled as he watched you wipe your eyes. “I was planning on doing this at home and then spending the next few hours between these thighs after you said 'yes’.” He chucked when you playfully rolled your eyes. “But it looks like we’re going to do it here.”
“I’m not having sex with you here again, Angel,” you grumbled when everyone laughed.
“What do you mean ‘again’?” Coco yelled from across the room.
You felt your face get hot as you were filled with embarrassment, but Angel only laughed. “Hey, mind your business,” he chastised Coco before turning back to you and shuffling so that he was on one knee.
“Y/n,” he held your gaze and pulled out a little black box from his pocket. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re who I’ve been waiting for, and I can’t imagine my life without you. Will you make me the happiest man on Earth by becoming my wife?”
Tears are falling freely from your eyes now as you stared into his eyes. You couldn’t see yourself with anyone other than Angel. Your hand shook as you nodded your head.
“Yes, I will marry you, Angel.”
As soon as he had the ring on your finger, he cupped your face and kissed you like never before.
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Part Five
A/N 2: If you ‘liked’ it, please reblog or leave a comment/reply even if it’s only an emoji.
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Out of Sight
Guys! Here it is is!! Dick and Damian week! I am obviously super excited. I’m loving all the content you all are posting, and I’m here to share a fic of my own.
Day 2: Dami’s First Birthday with Dick / Comfort / “He’s my son!”
Summary: 
“I’m looking for my little brother, he’s ten, this high with black hair and has a green bowtie.” Dick held his hand out to Damian’s approximate height.
“If I see him I’ll send him your way, now please.” the man waved Dick towards the rest of the crowd.
He shook his head, “You don’t understand, I think he’s still inside. He was supposed to meet me if we got separated and he hasn’t yet I need--”
The man’s face fell, and with it Dick’s heart.
“What?” he almost growled, “What’s going on?”
Ao3 Link
~
“So there Bruce is, standing in front of the most gorgeous lady I’d ever seen laughing like she’s not just stunning and--”
There was a tug at his elbow. Dick ignored it and continued with his story.
“And I’m 16, slack jawed, and carrying a blue raspberry slurpee. So of course I’m going to trip over my own two feet.”
This time it was an elbow in his side. Dick shifted a bit. The two women he was talking to didn’t seem to notice.
“One foot catches another and down I go. I thought for sure I was going to faceplant, but someone caught me. When I looked up, I saw Bruce, absolutely coated in my drink! He was-- Damian please .”
His little brother had closed the distance between them and dug his heel into Dick’s foot. When Dick looked down at him, the boy was all innocence, foot already snapping into place beside the other. A trick he was regretting teaching Damian right now.
“I do not mean to interrupt, but our tickets to The Pirates of Penzance say we are to arrive ten minutes early and if we do not leave soon we will be late.”
Damian was laying on the innocent act really well. They had no plans to see the musical. In fact, Damian had vehemently rejected Dick when he’d asked him a few weeks ago if he’d wanted to attend. So this act, for that’s what it had to be, must have been a ploy to go home early. Most days, Dick wouldn’t mind the kid giving him an out from social affairs, but this wasn’t something he wanted to miss. Lucius had specifically asked him to come.
They were in the middle of a special party thrown for Wayne Enterprise’s new hires. Everyone, from full time staff to interns, who’d been added to the staff in the last six months had flooded into the building’s first floor ballroom, they’d brought family along with them and friends. Dick was pretty sure there were people here who had nothing to do with the staff, but had shown up for the open bar alone. Lucius had stressed how important it was for them to meet at least one of the Waynes, and of how inspiring it’d be for Dick to give a stirring speech.
Dick made a show of checking his watch and beamed down at his brother, “We’ve still got some time, I promise I won’t let us be late, alright?”
His brother puffed out his cheeks and pressed his lips together, obviously trying to decide if it was worth it to keep the eager child routine up. At last he nodded, a single sharp nod.
“Fine. Then I will amuse myself elsewhere.”
With that, the kid spun on his heel and stomped away.
Dick shot the ladies an apologetic smile, “One second, I want to make sure he’s not upset. Then I’ll be back to regale you with the story’s thrilling conclusion.”
“Of course.” one of the women smiled.
He darted after Damian, and ahead of the boy to walk backwards until Damian stopped with a huff. They were in a crowded room, but somehow Damian had already made his way to one of the few quiet bubbles.
“Want to tell me what that was all about?” Dick asked.
Damian crossed his arms, “I simply do not wish to waste any more time with these plebeians.”
“Aaand?” Dick pressed.
The boy glared at him, “And it should be obvious.”
Okay, he was not expecting that. Dick wracked his brain for what he could have missed. Any signs Damian was upset? Any people who’d bothered him? Had he forgotten an important date or something?
“Remember what we talked about with using our words. Misunderstandings are made and broken by stating clear intentions.” Dick said.
“Tt. If you cannot remember, then apparently I am the one who misunderstood.” Damian snapped, and pushed past him.
By the time Dick turned around, his brother had melted into the crowd of unfamiliar faces. He swore. He wished he could remember what it was that had Damian in such a grumpy mood.
He thought back on the immediate. On Damian’s mood and actions over the course of the day. The kid had been happy enough when Dick had suggested they go to the meet and greet together. He hadn’t wanted to go alone, and he figured after they could do something after like go to the arcade or-- Oh .
“Crap.” Dick muttered.
They really were supposed to see that musical tonight. Days after Damian had told Dick in no uncertain terms what he thought of people who watched musical’s he’d barged into the Penthouse with three tickets to a showing of it at Gotham’s Summer Musicals in the Park event.
“It is something you enjoy doing, correct?” Damian had asked, “You and Pennyworth used to go?”
How Damian had figured that out Dick would never know. He didn’t think Alfred would have told him, not outright. It had been their thing, and Dick was hoping to advance the tradition.
And, well, lately Dick wanted to share everything with Damian. The kid had wiggled his way into Dick’s heart in a way that made him feel warm to think about.
“Damian!” he called, not too loud as to make a scene, but loud enough he hoped his brother heard him.
He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. Well, he could. He hadn’t known about this event until yesterday, and in the flurry of scheduling it and figuring out patrol in case it went really late all thoughts of fun had gone out of Dick’s head.
A short tuft of dark hair made for one of the hallways and Dick moved towards it. The next moment, someone was shouting.
“He’s got a gun!”
The words were followed seconds later by two unmistakable gunshots.
The crowd around him swarmed. Like a pack of terrified gazelle being chased by a lion, the room exploded into movement as the people all around him began running, pushing, and shoving in an attempt to get out of the building.
Dick was caught in the swell of people, his body being pushed towards the door before he could stop and find his brother.
“Damian!” he yelled this time, “Dames!”
He stopped, doing his best to plant his feet as a stone against the tide. His gaze ripped across the flood of people. Dick only had a moment before someone shoved him from behind and he was moving again, stumbling along with the crowd, jostled from position to position until he burst through the doors and the remaining rays of sunlight hit his face.
Dick tumbled out of the crowd as soon as he could, and went back to his search. He moved along the edges, knowing Damian would do the same. They’d drilled this time and again. Damian knew the rules, if they got separated in a crowd, get out and find the other along the edge.
His heart was racing. He could hear sirens coming closer. The police detail for the party must have already called for backup. Dick could hear them now too, corralling the crowd, moving everyone to a designated safe zone, but doing their best not to let them disperse.
Dick was still moving, prowling in his search for his little brother.
He took a few seconds to pause and shoot off a quick text to Damian, asking where he was, and telling him to follow procedure, and that he was looking for him.
“Damian!” he called again, hoping his voice could be heard above the din.
Where was he? They should have met up by now. Dick should be dragging his kid into his side and holding him close, apologizing for forgetting, and the fact that they were sure to miss the play. His heart should be slowing down.
But he couldn’t find Damian. What if? What if he was still inside?
Dick rushed back towards the door only to be stopped by one of the officers moving to stand in front of him.
“Sir, please, I need you to move over there.”
“I’m looking for my little brother, he’s ten, this high with black hair and has a green bowtie.” Dick held his hand out to Damian’s approximate height.
“If I see him I’ll send him your way, now please.” the man waved Dick towards the rest of the crowd.
He shook his head, “You don’t understand, I think he’s still inside. He was supposed to meet me if we got separated and he hasn’t yet I need--”
The man’s face fell, and with it Dick’s heart.
“What?” he almost growled, “What’s going on?”
“There’s still some people inside, but--” the officer trailed off.
“Tell me.” Dick did growl now.
The officer straightened against Dick’s anger, but his face was pitying, “The gunman’s locked himself up in the ballroom with hostages. We don’t have much information right now, but when we do we will let you know.”
The phone in Dick’s palm buzzed two short quick bursts that were Damian’s signature. He checked it, and saw one word: inside.
Dick’s head flooded with white static. His thumb hovered above the phone, wanting to send a message, to beg for more information. He couldn’t, couldn’t risk alerting anyone to Damian’s presence or the presence of a phone. If Damian was safe enough to text, Dick wasn’t going to put him in danger by messaging again.
The officer turned his head and seemed to catch someone else’s attention, waving them over while Dick stood frozen, “Jerry! This guy’s kid is inside, talk to him for me?”
Dick didn’t bother correcting the man, his mouth had gone dry. His heart once racing, now felt like it had all but disappeared.
Jerry, took Dick by the shoulders and moved him away from the other officer. They didn’t head towards the main crowd, but to the police cars that had rolled up to the scene. Vaguely Dick noted that police tape had been drawn up, pulled across barriers, and officers were working to soothe worried nerves.
As they moved to a group of officers, a familiar tan coat stood out from the crowd. Salt and pepper hair that was more salt than pepper at this point shifted around uniformed officers until Jim Gordon stepped towards Dick, his face a look of relief.
“Dick, I heard you were inside, thank goodness you’re alright.” he said, before glancing at Jerry, “I’ve got him.”
The officer nodded, and moved away, the absence of his hand leaving Dick’s shoulder cold.
“Dick?” the Commissioner asked.
“Damian’s inside.” Dick said, still not quite believing it.
Jim swore.
“I brought him with me because I thought it’d be a nice night. He always wants to see more of his dad’s company.” Dick rambled, head still lost.
Lost. He’d lost his kid. He’d let Damian slip away and now he was stuck inside with someone who’d brought a gun to a party. With a kidnapper . All of a sudden the shock that had been freezing him cracked, and he came back to himself. He was Batman, he could deal with this. He had to, for Damian.
“What do we know?” he asked, “How can I help?”
Jim looked him over for a moment, as if considering the possible consequences to telling Dick to let them handle things. Dick squared his shoulders and set his jaw.
“He’s got them in the ballroom. From our officer inside it’s just the one guy, but he’s claimed to have planted a bomb inside. We have no real way of knowing if that’s true or not, so we’re treating the whole thing as if he’s telling the truth.”
Dick nodded, it was a safe play to make, “Any demands?”
“Money.” Jim crossed his arms, eyeing Dick, “I get the feeling he came in looking to grab one person, not a whole room full.”
Dick swallowed. Lucius had said he’d sent out an email letting everyone know Dick would be there and be giving a speech, as a way to get them excited and convince more people to come. The lure of snatching a Wayne at a busy party was obvious.
“I’ll pay. How much does he want?” Dick said It was the safest way to get Damian out of there.
Jim shook his head, “I can’t let you do that. We’ll find a way to neutralize him.”
Heat flared up in Dick’s head, his hands tightened to fists at his side, “This is the best way to get him to let everyone go.” he argued, “And if need be, you can lure him out so you guys can grab him.”
“You know Wayne Enterprises doesn’t give into ransom demands.” Jim countered, “They won’t authorize the payout.”
“Then I’ll pay.” Dick said, “Tell me how much, I promise I can get it.”
He was frantic now. His earlier worry doubled into panic and fueled by frustration. If only he wasn’t outside. If only he weren’t in this crowd. He could take care of things in the building as Dick Grayson, or even as Batman. But no. He was stuck arguing with the one man who should understand his predicament.
“Dick--”
“He’s got Damian,” Dick snapped, “He’s my son! I won’t let him die because you won’t let me pave the way to get this guy!”
Jim’s eyes widened, then his face softened, “Alright. We’ll try it. It’s going to take some time though. He wants cash, not a wire transfer.”
“I can do that.” Dick nodded.
Moving released some of the tension built up within Dick. Not all of it. His chest felt tight, like a vice had been wrapped around it and was squeezing. He knew it wouldn’t let go until Damian was in his arms again.
He checked his phone frequently for texts. Hoping that Damian would update him, and praying he didn’t risk it.
At some point Alfred arrived to help. Together they put in phone calls to banks, tallied up how much cash was hanging around the manor for just such an occasion --Bruce really had been prepared for everything-- and worked to collect the rest of the cash as quickly as possible.
Dick kept one eye on the building, and the police. Hours passed as they waited on money to transfer and banks to make this one time exception. Pizza was sent into the building, the scent making Dick’s stomach twist. The sight, like something out of a tv show.
His only comfort was that the kidnapper was keeping in contact with the police and promised no one had been hurt yet. He seemed mollified that his requests was being taken seriously.
At least, he had been at first.
In order to collect everything, Dick had needed to leave the scene and get the final part of the cash from a bank personally. When he returned from his last stop it was to a Jim Gordon wearing a very concerned face.
“What happened?” Dick asked, the vice across his chest tightening further.
Jim shook his head, “He’s afraid it’s all a trap. Thinks we won’t let him leave. He stopped responding right after you left.”
He wasn’t wrong. The last thing the police really wanted to do was let the kidnapper walk free. But they shouldn’t have let onto that. Dick didn’t think they would have.
“Good thing I’ve got the money together then.” Dick said, hefting the briefcase, “Let’s see if he answers to that.”
Dick insisted on being there for the call, and was rejected.
“I can’t let you do that. It’d be a new voice when we’ve established communication already.” Jim told him, “Besides, Dick, you’re too invested. You yell at him like you yelled at me and things get a whole lot more complicated.”
He didn’t have a good argument against that. So, Dick moved back, not into the crowd still piled up at police barriers, but to stand along with some other officers. They were watching him closely, probably warned by Jim already to keep him from doing anything stupid. For all the perks of personally knowing the police commissioner, this was not one of them.
Tension shifted in the group as Dick watched Jim on the phone. The call went on too long. Dick knew these kinds of calls, it should have been faster. And the way the Commissioner's jaw tensed wasn’t a good sign.
He wanted to push out of the crowd and snatch the phone. Demand Damian be given back to him.
All Dick could do was worry. Worry and wonder how his brother was doing. Worry that he was safe. He’d been drilled in this too. They’d spent hours going over the procedure for what to do if one of them was ever stuck in a multiple hostage situation. It was, unfortunately, a common enough occurrence in Gotham and Dick had wanted Damian prepared for anything.
He hated that it was coming in handy.
If only he’d just kept Damian close. If he’d remembered their plans, then his brother wouldn’t have felt rejected and walked away from him.
Jim was moving. Handing Dick’s briefcase over to a plainclothes officer they’d picked just for this. Just in case the guy demanded a civilian do the hand off. How Dick wished he could be that guy.
He shifted so he could keep an eye on the front doors of the building. The men and women around him shifted to match his stance. Dick didn’t care, his eyes were locked onto the scene in front of him.
It took forever, but at last the doors creaked open and out came two figures. A man in a long trench coat with dark messy hair and a wild look on his face Dick could read from back where he was. And Damian.
Dick was afraid his chest might crack open.
His brother was pressed close to the man’s chest, the barrel of the gun flush against his skull. Before Dick could get a good look at his expression or see if he was hurt at all, people closed in around him. Towards the front, the officers beside him, everywhere police were preparing for the worst.
When Dick went to step forward a hand shot out. He looked over and found Jerry. The man shook his head. He knew it was better if he stayed still and let things play out, but all Dick wanted to do was shove through the crowd and slam his fist into the kidnapper’s face.
All he could do now was listen.
There was a low murmuring across the crowd. Then the kidnapper’s voice, high and panicked.
“Slide the briefcase over!”
A quieter response Dick couldn’t make out.
“I said do it! Want me to blow the kid’s brains out?!”
Dick stepped forward, heart in his throat. He was stopped by Jerry, his hand now holding him by the arm.
A beat of silence. Another. Dick felt like a speedster, ready to vibrate out of Jerry’s grip he was so tense.
“I told you to stand back! I’m warning you! I--”
Two shots rang out.
Dick bolted. Ripping free from Jerry’s hand he shoved his way through the crowd. They were buzzing with activity, but not the absolute flood he’d fought earlier. Dick cut through them like a warm knife in butter.
He burst forward to see three of the bomb squad officers swarming to the front doors. They were already entering moving in to start clearing the place. But that’s not what had Dick’s attention. No, his eyes were glued on the prone forms a few feet in front of the doors.
A pool of blood was already spreading on the ground, stark and red against the grey concrete. There was an officer hunched over them. Dick couldn’t even see Damian, just the kidnapper and that trenchcoat, flared out as he’d fallen.
“Damian!” Dick yelled, sprinting now that no one was in his way.
He slid to a stop, dropping to his knees so fast and hard they cracked against the ground painfully. He ignored it, and the admonition from the officer beside him, as he shoved the other man up, and off his brother, ignoring the man’s grunt as he did so. Nothing but Damian mattered.
Curled tightly on the ground lay Damian. Blood soaked a shoulder and some of his hair, but even in his frenzied state, Dick could see it wasn’t Damian’s.
“Dames.” Dick breathed, and reached out for his brother.
Slowly he put a hand on Damian’s shoulder, away from the blood, and squeezed, “Hey there, Kiddo, it’s me, it’s Dick.”
It took a moment, but Damian uncoiled, head lifting from where he’d buried it in his arms, body ever so gradually loosening from how he’d wrapped in on himself as they’d fallen.
“Richard?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m here. You’re safe.”
At those words Damian launched himself, up from the ground and into Dick’s arms. Heedless of the people around them or the buzz of the crowd. Dick wrapped his arms tightly around his brother, breathing freely at last as he felt Damian’s warmth in his arms, weight against his chest, breath on his neck.
“I’m sorry.” Damian murmured.
“Me too.” Dick said, pressing a kiss against the crown of Damian’s head, “I’m so glad you’re safe.”
He wanted to apologize for forgetting. For letting Damian out of his sight. For not being there every moment his kid was in danger. But there would be time for that. For now, he relished in the fact that Damian was back, he was here. He was clutching Dick like a lifeline and hadn't let go yet.
Beside them, someone else had moved forward. Jerry knelt down and looked them over, a small smile slipping across his face.
“I’m glad you found your son.” he said.
Damian made to wiggle out of Dick’s arms, but Dick just tugged him a bit closer, “Me too.” he said, “Me too.”
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cheekygreenty · 3 years
Text
Little Witch - Part 15
The Darkling x reader
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Time was in fact ticking and as minutes went on, your palms got sweatier and your heart never stopped thumping in your chest. Any minute now Aleksander could stroll into your chambers flanked by oprichniki and have you arrested. You had crossed the line and you acknowledged that but there was no other way to do it with him. He was never going to sit down and have a regular conversation with you where he detailed his plans out step by step, even if you said please and begged on your knees.
It was morning now and still no word from Aleksander. You had to return to your boring duties of reading trade agreements and approving Grisha posts at the war fronts, none of which passed the time any quicker. You skipped breakfast and threw on the first kefta that caught your eye, only making sure it wasn't black. A simple summoner blue, to reflect your sullen mood.
A knock on your door caught you by surprise but you opened it anyway to reveal your least favorite Heartrenderer sulking at your doorstep.
'Ivan'
'The General requests to see you'
'He sent his puppy to fetch me, how cute' You open the door wider to let yourself through letting a deep breath go in preparation. Ivan sent you a glare worth a thousand words, something along the lines of I hate you.
'Relax, I'm only jesting'
The walk to Aleksander's quarters was silent. Ivan wasn't the chatty type and even if he was, he probably wouldn't have much to say to you.
As you went to open the grand double doors, he caught your wrist tightly
'Don't lay a finger on him again, or I'll rip your heart from your chest' He warned. Either Aleksander tattled the events that took place yesterday or Ivan was eavesdropping, your gut told you it was the latter.
'I didn't take you as the type to disrespect your elders Ivan' You didn't care to return his tone of voice. He was simply Aleksander's lapdog, not somebody to be scared of or feared.
'Run along now' You dismissed him, watching as he huffed and turned down the hallway.
Aleksander sat at the same desk as yesterday except now he faced you. He was back to his normal self, void of emotion and collected in his embroidered black kefta. You sat down on a random chair, clearing your throat.
'Did you finally come to your senses?' You weren't here for pleasantries or to dance around the subject, you needed answers.
'Of sorts. Yes'
'Get to it then, you have a lot of explaining to do. And remember, I know when you're lying' You tapped the skin above your heart, indicating that he had no way out but to tell truth.
'Ask away.'
'How are you going to weaponize the Fold?'
'Alina. She can let us get through it, I can expand it into the borders.'
'How?'
'The stag. I'll use it to control her powers as well as amplify my own. She won't comply otherwise. ' He's going to use Merzost to control the Sun-Summoner.
'The King?'
'Gradually being poisoned by Ms.Safin. He'll take to being ill when the time comes.'
'You're not going to kill him?' To ascend the throne, the King needs to die.
'In time' You took a quick pause and let the information settle. You still needed to ask the most important question and you feared once he answered it, your heart would break in two.
'Alina.'
'Yes. Alina'
'Is it real?'
He took a sharp inhale and pondered for a quick second while you held yours.
'Not anymore.'
'Anymore?'
'Before you got here, perhaps there was something, But not now. I swear on the Saints. All she is is a key to more power. Everything we've ever wanted lies in our future if we play our cards right Y/N' You were sitting too far away from him, but his hands still itched to reach for yours.
'I'm suspecting there is a downside to all of this'
'I need her to trust me.'
'And the only way to do that is by loving her I assume' You hung your head low when he gave a small nod.
'I wish there was another way. She's young and blinded by her friend Mal to see what's truly happening'
'What if she finds out?'
'We'll cross that bridge when we get to it' He stood up from his seat and kneeled beside you, firmly holding your knees.
'You're not a loose cannon Y/N. I didn't want to tell you because if I told you about Alina, you would seek us out and watch. I don't want you to see me with her' You recognized that everything he said was true, his heart hadn't skipped a beat since you got here.
'I'm sorry for the other night, for what I said. I didn't mean it' Throughout your years with Aleksander, you had witnessed him apologize to you and every time he did, his eyes were the true apology. They reflected his whole soul, bared his deepest emotions to you, and begged for forgiveness with immense desperation in ways that his words couldn't. This was no exception.
'We all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment' All it took was those simple words for his eyes to wash away the guilt and reappear filled with affection.
'Why didn't you tell me about Zoya?'
He sighed again, resting his forehead against your arm 'I don't know'
'Are you done with her?'
'She was just an outlet Y/N, I truly haven't loved anybody since you. You crowded my dreams and my daily thoughts, do you really think I could move on?' He gave a gentle laugh with an undertone of embarrassment at his inability to get over you.
'I'm flattered'
Although the areas of the future that involved Alina rubbed you the wrong way for many reasons, you were glad to finally know the things Aleksander kept from you. No doubt there were things you omitted that would come up in due time, but you had gone what caused you the most stress.
'Will you finally stop running away from me? I've barely had any time to enjoy your presence' His hand came up to your face, nudging a thin piece of hair away. You melted into his touch, grabbing him by the shoulders and embracing him tightly, forcing both of you to stand. He held you as close, if not tighter.
'I'll do anything you want me to if it means you trust me again' His words stuck in your mind as he spoke against your hair. Your statement must have cut him deep. It hurt you too, you loved this man, you've loved him for more than a century, and being scared to trust him dwindled your memory of him.
You were the first to pull away but only for a second as your lips crashed onto his. It wasn't rough or needy, it was sweet and reflected your love for him. It was the kind of kiss you imagined when you dreamed of him at your weakest; when your dreams were vivid and lucid in comparison to your feverish body as it lay on the brink of death.
'Have you eaten?' He asked as you wrapped your arms around him yet again, not ready to let go.
'Not yet, but give me a minute' You closed your eyes, reveling in his scent and warm touch.
At last, I finally got my hug.
***
It was later on in the day now, you had forced yourself away from Aleksander after breakfast and retreated into your chambers, sifting through documents and pointless papers. You barely read them as you signed away, doing the tedious work Aleksander passed onto you as he focused on the stag. You didn't know much about the animal and willingly chose to stay out of the affair, never really caring for the amplifier. For now, all that it entailed was chasing false leads and ending up at dead-ends. Not your cup of tea.
The Winter fete was coming up and much to your displeasure, you were asked to make sure the Sun-Summoner was up to scratch for her showcase. It was important she makes a good impression on the foreign ambassadors, Ravka needed stronger alliances now that Zlatan was claiming the West needed to break away. He was colluding with the druskelle to capture Grisha, and wherever your Grisha were concerned, you had to get involved.
You realized the measly reports of Alina's progress weren't enough and you had to go right to the source. There wasn't a single part of you that looked forward to stepping into that boiling hut and conversing with the rude woman, but work had to be done.
You took your time walking down, chatting to bystanding Grisha and trying to stall, you really weren't in the mood to be bullied. You didn't bother to knock, you just waltzed in and searched the dark for her hunched figure.
'You again' You could've sworn she appeared out of thin air as her voice carried disgust along the room, it usually did when it came to speaking to you but you stopped caring a long time ago.
'Why are you back, Witch'
With the track record Baghra had with you, the nickname never failed to fuel your temptation to throttle her.
---
Part 16
Taglist (tell me if you want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!!)
@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess @lunas1x1
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21burritoseavey · 3 years
Text
where’s my love - daniel seavey
a/n: heyy! this one’s sad again smh but i really hope you enjoy it. i enjoyed writing it tbh. btw for anyone who wants to know, the lyrics are from a song named “where’s my love” syml, the acoustic version is my fave:)
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Cold bones
Yeah, that's my love
She hides away, like a ghost
 9:43pm
“Why isn’t she answering? She always answers. You don’t think she went somewhere, do you? She would tell me...She was-s fine in the morning and-” Daniel stumbled out quickly, pacing the rehearsal room. The boys laid sprawled out on the floor and sofa after a long day of continuous rehearsing. It was nearing ten o’clock and Daniel hadn’t heard from Y/n since eight in the morning before she went to work. 
“Daniel, dude, don’t worry”, Corbyn chuckled faintly, trying to ease Daniel’s stress. “She probably just got held up at work or something,” he said lightly. 
“Held up? It’s basically ten o’clock, she finishes work at seven!” Daniel raised his voice abruptly in a fit of panic. He rubbed the nape of his neck and looked up at Corbyn before quietly whispering an apology. 
“Hey, hey. She’s fine, don’t stress yourself out.” Jonah assured, walking over to Daniel to drape a comforting arm over his shoulder. “Just go home and tell us if you need anything” He continued, ushering Daniel to the door. Daniel nodded softly as he looked up at Jonah. He swiftly picked up his backpack from the floor and exchanged brief goodbyes with the boys. 
 “Daniel,” Jack called gently. Daniel looked back expectantly, “She’s fine.” Jack reminded him.
 Oooh, does she know that we bleed the same?
Oooh, don't wanna cry, but I break that way
 12:01am 
Daniel had arrived home hours ago, but saw no trace of Y/n anywhere. The uncomfortable and bleak silence of their apartment only made his heart race with anxiety even more. He walked hesitantly into the master bedroom, everything remained untouched from the morning. Y/n’s make up was spread out on her vanity and her clothes still in a pile from choosing her outfit the previous morning. 
Daniel’s mind reeled with countless thoughts at the fact that she hadn’t been home yet. On the emotionally exhausting drive home, he had hoped tremendously that his grave anxiety would perish at the gentle, loving sight of Y/n in their bedroom as usual. 
But she wasn’t there. 
She’s fine. He thought. 
Just fine. 
 Cold sheets
But where's my love
I am searching high
I'm searching low in the night
 1:14am
Zero missed calls
No new texts
Nothing
Daniel shut off his phone and placed it on the counter, only for his eyes to flicker back to it mere seconds later. He tried to busy himself with chores around the house. He sauntered endlessly from the laundry room to the kitchen to the backyard and he still wasn’t fazed with physical exhaustion despite being awake for so long. Daniel gulped hard as he let his eyes linger on the front door, willing his eyes to stay dry despite the heart wrenching, unwavering worry he felt violently sting his sparrowy chest. He fiercely anticipated Y/n’s return, letting his mind fill with the memory of her voice from hours before. 
But there was nothing. 
 Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know
If she ran away, If she ran away, come back home
Just come home
2:31am
 Daniel remained unmoving as he rested up in his bed, propped up against two pillows as the soft yellow light of his bedside lamp illuminated his figure. His mind was too preoccupied with thoughts about Y/n and he could barely focus on Kobe resting tenderly on his lap. The tension only grew as he watched the minutes displayed on his lock screen quickly slip by. Daniel’s sorrowful eyes focused on the picture of him and Y/n in the background as he mindlessly scrolled. After stealing a minute to compose himself, he finally tapped on his mother’s name in his contacts. Even in the wee hours of the morning, after a hard day’s work, Keri didn’t mind answering a phone call, especially from his son. 
“Dani, you okay?” She asked in a raspy voice. 
“Uh-um…” Daniel swiftly covered his mouth with his hand, furiously holding back his tears as he continued. “It’s Y/n... I haven’t heard from her since yesterday and...I’m getting really worried,” he spoke quietly. 
“Oh Dani, '' Keri sighed, “Don’t worry, my love. Y/n’s a smart girl, I’m sure she has an explanation...I’ll call everybody I know, okay? We’ll let you know of anything.” She assured him quickly. 
Daniel sighed quietly, laying back onto his pillow, “Okay, mom” he whispered. 
“Don’t worry, Dani. We’ll figure it out. Get some sleep, okay?” Keri consoled, “We’ll find her. I’ll let you know if I hear anything. I love you.”
“I know. Thanks mom. I love you…” Daniel said quietly, finally melted further into his nearly empty bed as the sweet uplifting sensation of his mother’s voice echoed in his head. The motherly, innate kind of warmth from Keri always calmed Daniel and he slowly felt his energy wither away as he laid on his side of the queen bed. He lifted an arm to lean on the nightstand beside him before switching off the lamp and resting again. 
I got a fear
Oh, in my blood
She was carried up
Into the clouds, high above
9:26 am
Daniel awoke peacefully, shifting his body to the other side again. He hardly realised what time it was until he focused his eyes on the alarm clock, his eyes widened, and guilt wounded his chest greatly. How could I sleep this late? He wondered as he nearly bolted out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. 
With his face washed and hair sort of done, Daniel quickly trudged down the stairs to the front door as if expecting Y/n to stand right before his eyes. Daniel's face fell instantly at the empty entryway, kindling his severe anxiety again. 
Daniel's phone rang from its spot on his unmade bed - he had checked for any notifications periodically throughout the night. Daniel turned back around and made a b line to the master bedroom and he nearly dropped his phone in his hurry to answer the call. With a heavy heart, Daniel glanced at the caller ID, his blood ran cold as thoughts reeled his mind again. He swallowed the lump in his throat before swiping the answer button and lifting the phone up to his ear. 
She’s fine. She’s fine. She’s fine. 
 Did you run away? Did you run away? I don't need to know
If you ran away, if you ran away, come back home
7:32 am, the previous morning. 
Daniel had finally emerged from the master bedroom, briskly walking to the kitchen with his backpack slung over his shoulder. “Hey, Dani” Y/n said sweetly from her place on one of the bar stools. 
“Hey” Daniel said tiredly, rushing to make his coffee before going to work. 
“Umm, Dani…” Y/n said gently as he stirred her cup of tea simultaneously. Daniel turned  to face her as he worked quietly. “Could we...maybe talk-”.
“Yeah, of course, baby. It’s just that I'm late right now.” Daniel said as he looked up at Y/n again. Her gentle expression fell into a frown but she didn’t dare let Daniel see and she lowered her head to focus on her tea again. “We’ll talk when I get home, okay?” He promised sweetly, pulling a tight smile. 
Just come home
Y/n nodded eagerly and she stayed quietly, just watching him pace around the apartment as he got ready to leave. She kept her gaze down and tears pricked her downcast eyes as she still mixed her tea that was already mixed. In one swift motion, he walked up to the kitchen island, placed a quick kiss to Y/n’s forehead and grabbed his backpack with a quick “Love you! Bye!” 
“I love you…” Y/n said as steadily as she could.
She wasn’t fine.
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