#my high school self must be happy for the first time ever

[kimmkitsuragi]

out of everything in the new dan and phil video, the one thing that took me out was the succession jumpscare

[ineedhaikyu]

Chapter One

Summary: How does Asahi find himself in these situations? He wasn’t the tough and scary guy everyone made him out to be. Why can’t someone just give him a chance? That’s what he thought until he met her…

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: So much FLUFF! Dealing with self-doubt and anxiety. I didn’t write Atsumu’s slang dialogue but maybe I’ll edit in the future.

A/N: My contribution to Asahi x Reader content. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST BOY!! GIF credit to @akaashikoutarou

~

Today is the day. January 5th. Everyone’s hard work and determination will be put to the test on this day. A day where volleyball teams from all over Japan, the best from each prefecture, will meet with one another and have a chance to battle on the orange court. 

Today marks Day One in the All Japan High School Volleyball Championship. Otherwise known as the Spring Tournament.

The victor of each battle will be one step closer to reaching the summit, a place that is only reserved for one winning team. 

But until then, each team must go through the wringer and the emotional ties that come when playing the best of the best. Not only are the team members fighting for themselves to place a respectable standing in the tournament, they are also carrying the weight of their school’s pride and honor on their shoulders. The pressure that the Spring Tournament has always been great, but it’s even greater for those teams who are participating for the first time.

Teams such as the Karasuno High School Volleyball team.

A twelve member volleyball team from the Miyagi prefecture. For the past few years, Karasuno has fallen from their powerhouse status, but it seems that has all changed. Because now, here they are competing in the Spring Tournament for the first time in years.

Their methods of offense and defense were amazing to watch. It was almost too beautiful to describe but then again the concept is all the same: just keep the ball in play. 

“(Y/N)-san!” 

The third-year manager tore her gaze away from the orange court to meet with the familiar brown eyes of Miya Atsumu, the second-year setter of their volleyball team. 

“Hey Atsumu.” She greeted the popular setter with a smile before scanning the area around them. “Where’s Osamu?”

“That scrub is probably stuffing his face.” He huffed as he stood next to her. His eyes peered down at the active court. “What are you even doing here?”

(Y/N) followed his gaze and smiled. “Just want to check out the competition. I’m curious as to who our next opponent will be.”

“Who’s playing?”

“Tsubakihara Academy and Karasuno High.”

Atsumu furrowed his brow at the mention of the latter school. He’s sure that Goody-Two Shoes setter came from there. 

“Are they any good?”

He waited for her answer but when he didn’t receive one, the twin looked at her. Usually the older girl always had an answer for his questions, however silly the questions were. It was something Atsumu liked about (Y/N). No matter what silly antics he, his twin, and the rest of the volleyball team partook in, (Y/N) was always there to keep them in check. It was something Aran and Kita, her best friends, valued her for and the coach couldn’t agree more. 

Of course, there were times she played along with their shenanigans. It was why she got along so well with everyone on the team. As a manager, the girl knew there were times to be serious but also to just enjoy the moments with the best team she ever had. Even the annoying moments of Suna and the Miya twins prying into her non-existent love life. Take the conversation she had with them from last week.

Flashback

“You rejected another guy, (Y/N)-senpai.” Osamu commented as he ate his lunch. “How many is that now?”

His twin answered for her. “I’m pretty sure that makes him Unlucky Schmuck #5. But that guy didn’t even have a chance.”

“Oh?” (Y/N) stopped taking her notes and decided to indulge in the conversation. “And why’s that? Kenji’s a nice guy.”

“Easy because he’s boring. You don’t want to date a boring guy, do you?”

“The most interesting thing about him is that he’s on the basketball team.” Osamu piped in, reaching over the table to get some of her chips. “He’s not even on the starting line up.”

“His last post was just a picture of the ocean.” Suna piped in, his eyes showed so much disinterest in Unlucky Schmuck #5’s profile account. He showed his phone to her. “See?”

“So? That doesn’t mean he’s boring. Besides, I like the ocean. That’s why I liked his post.”

Suna rolled his eyes and turned off his phone. He leaned all his weight over (Y/N)’s shoulder. “That’s because you’re nice.”

“Sometimes too nice.” She grumbled as she jerked her shoulder so Suna could get off her and then slap the gray haired twin’s hand away from her chips. She looked back at Atsumu and said, “But I’m still waiting for the right guy to come around.”

The setter grinned. “Then quit waiting because I’m right here.”

Osamu and Suna scoffed, which irked Atsumu. “Aren’t you Unlucky Schmuck #1?”

“Am not!”

“Got the video on my phone if you want to relive it again.” Suna smirked as he taunted Atsumu with a wave of his phone. The video was pure gold. No way was he going to delete it. He needed all the memories, especially embarrassing moments of the Miya twins.

“Well, I’m glad you three are so interested in my love life but I already have my hands full dealing with you guys. I don’t need a jealous boyfriend on top of your crazy fangirls. My anxiety would not be able to handle it. Besides, nationals are literally next week. ”

The twins pouted in unison when the manager mentioned their fangirls. 

“Then get a guy who’ll understand. I’m sure there’s someone-”

“I’m right here-!” Atsumu exclaimed but was cut short when his twin hit the back of his head and at the same time Suna kicked his foot. “Quit abusing me!”

Suna ignored him and continued on. “Whoever this schmuck is, he’s going to be the luckiest guy in Japan.”

“He better be good at volleyball.” Atsumu grumbled, his head on the table. “That’s all I’m asking.”

Osamu joined his twin’s line of thinking. “Preferably from a powerhouse. The guy can’t be from a weak team. And cook some good food.” 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at the Miya twins. Of course, they would say something like that. She looked back at Suna and asked, “Do you have a requirement for my future significant other?”

Suna thought for a moment before answering her question. “As long as he cares for you.”

“Thanks Suna.” 

“But the moment he hurts you,” Atsumu began.

“He has to deal with everyone on the team.” Osamu finished his brother’s sentence.

(Y/N) grinned at their protectiveness. “Thanks Unlucky Schmuck #1 and #2.”

“Hey!”/ “Don’t call me that!” The twins exclaimed in unison causing the middle blocker and manager to laugh once more.

End of Flashback

“Earth to (L/N) (Y/N)! Can you hear me, manager? This is future champion setter, Atsumu, speaking! Talk to me!”

(Y/N) blinked and tore her eyes away from the orange court. “Huh? What did you say?”

Atsumu narrowed his eyes and leaned close to (Y/N)’s face, causing the girl’s face to heat up. She quickly stepped back and looked away from the twin’s observant gaze. 

“What?” She asked him.

“Who were you looking at?”

“No one in particular. Just Karasuno's team in general.” 

She answered way too quickly and they both knew it. Atsumu grinned at his senpai’s poor attempt to lie. “Someone caught your eye?”

“Shouldn’t you be practicing your sets?”

“Oh no, don’t you avoid my question, (Y/N). Besides, my sets are perfect.” He turned his focus on the volleyball players that were still competing below. “Who’s the guy? Better not be that Goody-Two Shoes.”

(Y/N) furrowed her brow. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Karasuno’s #9. Kageyama Tobio.”

She looked at the roster and found the person Atsumu was talking about. She then looked back at the match that was still playing. 

“Wait a minute. Is this the same Goody-Two Shoes that you met at the National training camp?”

Atsumu huffed and nodded. His eyes narrowed at the impressive set Tobio just did. “Yeah, that’s him alright. Piece of work that guy. Always setting the ball exactly how the spiker wants it. Such a Goody-Two Shoes.”

“Oh my god, Atsumu. He’s just a first year student. Give him a break.” She paused for a moment before she asked, “Did you actually call him a Goody-Two Shoes?

The Inarizaki setter was just about to answer when he saw the familiar glare on his manager’s face. “Of course not.”

“You’re such a liar.” She scolded him as she flicked his forehead. “You always have to psych someone out and cause trouble.”

“Whatever! It’s not like I hurt his feelings. I was just telling him the truth. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

Just as she was about to reply, there was the familiar sound of a volleyball being slammed to the ground. Soon after, the announcer’s voice echoed throughout the stadium. “And Karasuno’s ace, Azumane Asahi, just did a flawless service ace!”

(Y/N)’s eyes searched for the mentioned ace. #3. The third-year wing spiker. A guy with long brown hair styled in a bun. He looked older than the rest of the team with his tall and strong build and with the service ace earlier, Azumane has proven himself that he’s the ace of the team.

He looked intimidating, just like how Aran would be when he was on a roll. But for some reason, Karasuno’s ace, didn’t scare her. 

‘It’s his smile. He has a beautiful smile.’ (Y/N) thought as she watched the ace high-fived his teammates. ‘It looks like he’s enjoying himself… Having the time of his life.’

The pair of students watched the match until it reached its conclusion with Karasuno winning the second set. Which means they’ll advance to the second round where they’ll face their own team. Tomorrow’s match: Inarizaki vs Karasuno. It will be an interesting match that would guarantee to excite the crowd.

“Well, at least we know who we’re going to beat tomorrow.” Atsumu’s eyes shimmered in excitement, knowing tomorrow’s match will be a battle between setters. He couldn’t wait to prove to everyone who the better setter was. “Come on, (Y/N), let’s get out of here. The team is probably waiting for us to go out for lunch.”

“Sure.” 

As Atsumu led the way, (Y/N) looked over her shoulder where her eyes landed on the members of Karasuno’s volleyball team cheering for joy. The ace’s smile was infectious as she felt her own lips smile as well. 

~

“Hey, Atsumu. You go ahead. I want to buy another T-shirt while I’m here. I’ll catch a bus to the hotel.”

“You sure? I can wait-” Atsumu’s stomach decided it was the perfect moment to announce its hunger out loud. 

(Y/N) laughed as the setter tried to cease his stomach’s rumbling. “Just go, ‘Tsumu. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Fine! But hurry, will you? You know how ‘Samu gets when he’s hungry.”

The two parted ways. It always surprised her how large the crowd gets during intermission. She had to dodge and weave to avoid the hurdle of students carrying band instruments. She was successful and luckily the T-shirt stand was right there. There were so many options to consider and she was just about to make a selection when there was a sudden loud CRASH. 

The noise caused her to stiffen in fright, she looked behind her to find someone had dropped a pair of cymbals.

“Can someone pick those up?” A girl asked her bandmates.

“I got them.” A bright-eyed boy volunteered.

(Y/N) remembered to breathe to calm her nerves as she gave the worker of the T-shirt stand a wobbly smile. “Can I have-”

“Hey, you! Look out!”

While the boy meant to be helpful, everything went downhill from there. When the boy bent down to pick up the cymbals, he accidentally bumped the nearby bass drum causing it to fall out of its little wagon. The large drum began to roll away, causing the crowd to panic. 

(Y/N) looked behind her and saw that the drum was heading right towards her. She was just about to move when she felt a warm hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the way. She watched as two guys her age, one with dark hair and the other with silver hair, stopped the drum from crashing into the T-shirt stand. 

“A-Are you okay, miss?” A male’s voice, deep with concern, asked her. “Are you hurt?”

“Y-Yeah. Thanks for that-” (Y/N)’s ability to talk disappeared when she saw the face of her hero. It was Karasuno’s ace, Azumane Asahi. 

And he looked even more handsome up close. She had to step back - not because she was scared of him but because she could feel her heart going into overdrive being so close to the guy she was beginning to have a crush on.

“Miss?”

‘He’s talking to you, dummy! Talk back!’

“Oh, um, yeah! Thanks again.” (Y/N) gave him a smile. “You’re Azumane, right? From Karasuno? I just watched your match. You were amazing, especially with that service ace.”

Asahi’s POV

A girl was talking to him. 

A pretty girl. Willingly talking. To him. 

It was enough to cause his brain to short circuit. He waited for the girl to come to her senses and realize that she was supposed to be scared of him, like how everyone else he came across. But to his surprise, the pretty girl was still talking to him. She didn’t have an ounce of fear in her eyes and the gentle smile she gave him made him feel better about himself. And to make matters even better, she was giving him compliments.

And he wasn’t the only one who noticed.

Daichi and Suga came up on either side of him and saw the girl. Asahi didn’t have to look at them to know his friends were giving each other a knowing smile behind his back.

The two introduced themselves to the girl who in turn introduced herself.

“My name is (L/N) (Y/N). I’m from Inarizaki High School in Hyōgo. I came here with my team.”

“You must be really good if you made it to Nationals.” Suga complimented.

She shook her head. “Oh no. I’m just the manager for the volleyball team. I was just telling your ace here how good your team is during your match.”

“We were nervous at first but we managed to get through this round.” Daichi told her. “The other team surprised us with that underhand serve.”

“Really? You manage to adapt to it very well.”

“We couldn’t have done it without this guy!” Suga slapped his hand against Asahi’s back. “Would you believe me if I told you he was single?”

“S-Suga!” He shouted in embarrassment. “W-Why w-would you say that?!”

“Oh come on, Asahi,” Daichi placed his hand on his shoulder. “It’s not like he’s lying. Besides, we're all single too.”

“Y-Yeah but that doesn’t mean she is.”

“Sorry to break the news but I’m single just like you.” 

He was shocked to hear that the girl in front of him was actually single. She was breathtaking. Literally. And she was so nice to him.

“My team thinks otherwise. They keep pushing me to have a boyfriend, but I have my hands full managing them and their crazy fangirls. A jealous boyfriend isn’t something I need, you know?”

“Oh, well, that’s reasonable. Maybe you need to find someone who’s understanding,” Suga elbowed his side. “Right, Asahi?”

“U-Um yeah?” What is Suga up to?

“It’s a good thing there are guys, like Asahi, in the world. He’s actually quite sensitive. The only time he feels confident is when he’s on the court.”

“Daichi, what are you doing?” He whispered, the heat from his neck began to crept onto his face. Is his face red? Can she tell?

“Oh, no. Look at the time. Daichi, we need to go.” Suga announced, grabbing the captain’s shoulders and pushing him in a random direction. “We have that meeting with the coach. Right now. Remember?”

“That’s right, Suga.” Daichi gave him a knowing smile, a smile that he knew meant trouble. “Asahi, why don’t you stay here with (L/N)? Make sure she’s safe from any more runaway instruments.”

“It was nice meeting you two! Good luck tomorrow! You’re going to need it. The boys of the Inarizaki team love a good challenge. Don’t disappoint them.”

“Right back at you.”

He watched as his friends walked away, leaving him alone with the girl who caused his anxiety to skyrocket to a whole new level. Not even Kiyoko made him feel like this.

“You're lucky to have such good friends, Azumane.” She told him, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts. “I bet there’s never a dull moment when you three are together.”

He laughed as he rubbed his neck out of habit. “Been that way since we were first years. Though the first and second years bring all the crazy.”

“I know exactly what you mean. The second years on the team love making my life crazy. I love them but sometimes they can be a bit much. Especially during Nationals. Speaking of which, is this your first time?”

“Yeah. And with this being my last year, I guess I should be grateful that I’m even here.”

He was so lost in his own world of self-deprecation that he didn’t notice what she was doing. Not until her fist punched his chest. It wasn’t gentle or strong, somewhere in between, but her touch didn’t surprise him. 

It was her eyes that surprised him. They seemed to shine with determination and, for some reason or another, inspire confidence. Even her voice was firm.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Asahi. Your team didn’t get here by chance. You all earned a spot here. You deserve to be here.”

Was it possible for a heart to beat so hard against a person’s ribs? Maybe it’s a medical condition? Because never before had he felt so anxious yet empowered. He wondered if (Y/N) could feel his heart underneath her hand. 

“I’m not saying you should just get over yourself because we all have experienced some level of negative emotion in our lives, right? And it’s not as easy as turning a page in a book. Trust me I know. So believe me when I say this, it’s okay to express those feelings. Maybe one day, you’ll find solace in someone.”

There was another feeling. He couldn’t find a label for it, but he could describe it. A warm sensation that bloomed from his chest to every cell in his body the moment she said his name. Not his surname. His actual name. Asahi. His brain felt as though it had melted inside his skull. But by some miracle, he found his voice again.

“You… You think so?” He asked her. “About me being here?”

Why was he asking her this? Just a few minutes ago, she was a stranger. She could just lie to make him feel better but he had a feeling (Y/N) wasn’t like that. 

“Are you kidding? I saw it with my own eyes.” She stepped back and mimicked a serve. The smile on her lips complimented the excitement in her eyes. “I’ve seen a lot of players these past three years, all of them possessing some kind of amazing skill. But you’re… Special.”

“Because I’m the ace?”

She smiled up at him. “That’s part of it, but if I’m being honest here I think you’re special even without the title of ace. The match from today proved it to me and I’m sure you’ll see it soon enough.”

“See what?”

“Your true self-worth.”

Normal POV

(Y/N) watched as Asahi mulled over her words and she hoped it gave him some confidence. While she didn’t know him all too well, Asahi looked like a nice enough guy. A bit self-conscious about his abilities, but hopefully she helped him loosen the strangling roots of insecurity that surrounded him.

Why did she care so much in helping him? Well, he did save her. The least she could do is give him some encouragement. She frowned at the thought. No… There must be something else she could do to give her thanks…

Her eyes wandered to the T-shirt stand and an idea was formed.

“Hey Asahi-san, let me buy you a T-shirt. It’s the least I could do since you saved me and all.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. Really. As long as you're okay-”

She shook her head, grabbed his hand, and led him to the T-shirt stand. “Come on, please. You can choose whatever shirt you like. Consider it a gift.”

“G-Gift?” Asahi stammered and she couldn’t help but find his stammering cute. “From you?”

A small chuckle escaped her lips. “Yes from me. It wouldn’t make sense if it was someone else. Let me do this for you.”

Asahi contemplated for a moment before agreeing. The worker of the T-shirt stand, who watched their interaction the whole time, was extremely kind to them as (Y/N) picked her choice as well. Asahi stood awkwardly by, waiting for the transaction to be finished.

“You two would make a cute couple.” The worker said, quiet enough so only she could hear. “You should go for him.”

“You think so?” (Y/N) asked as she discreetly peered over her shoulder to look at the guy who made her feel all warm and fuzzy. 

“Believe it or not,” The worker handed her the two bags, hers and Asahi’s, “Before the whole chaos started, you already caught his eye. His two friends tried to get him to talk to you but I guess he was too nervous.”

(Y/N) smiled widely at this. Maybe he liked her too? She hoped so because the feeling was definitely mutual. Only one way to find out...

“Hey, do you have a pen and paper I can use?”

~

Turns out the two third-years were heading in the same direction. By some cosmic fate, Asahi and his team were staying at the inn right next to the hotel she was staying in with her own team. So during the whole bus ride there, they got to know more about each other.

Asahi learned about (Y/N)’s favorite foods, hobbies, and even her future dream of attending the university in Tokyo. He laughed at the stories she shared about the Inarizaki team members. And (Y/N) was happy to learn more about him. She learned that he was close to the libero of his team, he has taste in fashion, and that his birthday just passed four days ago.

All too soon, they reached their destination. They walked side by side until they reached the point where the path forked, one way led to her hotel while the other led to Asahi’s inn.

She turned to face him and flashed him another smile. “Thanks for your company, Asahi-san. It was really nice getting to know you.”

“Same here, (Y/N)-san.” Asahi replied, his voice no longer nervous around her. “And thanks again for the shirt. I’ll make sure to take care of it. I want it to last for years.”

“It’s no problem. After all, you did save me.” Her fingers rubbed the plastic material of her bag out of nerves. “Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Y-Yeah, see you.” 

Asahi’s POV

With her back turned, there was sudden pull in his heart, as if begging for her to stay.

“(Y/N)! Wait!”

He was surprised to hear his voice sound so firm but she brought that feeling out of him. He didn’t want her to leave. Not yet. He enjoyed talking to (Y/N). She was so understanding, kind, and ever so confident. Their time together felt so short but at the same time so long. Those moments with her… He wanted more of those moments. 

And the moment his eyes met with her hopeful ones, he knew he had to at least try to ask for her number.

“Yes, Asahi?”

Oh, god. She looked so pretty… He wondered if (Y/N) knew the effect she has on him. The initial confidence he had was beginning to fade, but he steeled his nerves and took a deep breath.

“I was wondering, i-if it’s okay with you, that w-we could-”

“(Y/N)-SENPAI!” A guy with blond hair called out to her.

Right next to him was another guy, identical to the first only with silver hair, yelled, “WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU! I’M STARVING!”

“WHAT ‘SAMU SAID!”

‘They must be the Miya twins.’ He thought.

(Y/N) sighed before answering back, “Give me a minute!” She turned back and offered him a sheepish look. “Sorry about that Asahi. What were you saying?”

Over her shoulder, he saw the Miya twins frowning at him all the while staring daggers in his direction. His confidence, the little bit he had in supply, disappeared into thin air. He stammered out a reply, “Never mind. U-Um… Get a good night’s sleep. T-Take care of yourself.”

(Y/N)’s smile melted. Was that disappointment in her eyes? But she quickly recovered and offered him a bittersweet smile, “Oh, um, thanks Asahi. Good luck tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She turned around and began to make her way to the twins when stopped in her tracks. “Oh, and Asahi-san?”

“Yeah?” He felt his heart hitch up to his throat when they made eye contact once again. Her eyes were a lovely shade of (E/C) filled with warmth and kindness. 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself the next few days. Remember what I said. Your team is lucky to have you as their ace. So do your best tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll do great.” She glanced down at the plastic bag containing the shirt she bought for him. “I hope you like the shirt. Consider it a birthday gift from me.”

And with that, the girl he developed to have feelings for walked away, but not before she gave one last smile that made his heart expand three times its size. 

~

“Asahi! You’re back!” Nishinoya’s loud voice echoed throughout the room where Karasuno's team was staying. “Is what Daichi and Suga are saying true? You met a girl?!”

Tanaka joined in his friend’s interrogation. “Yeah, Asahi! Daichi didn’t want to say anything but Suga said you saved her life!”

“Was she pretty?”

“What school does she go to?”

“What was she like?”

“What’s her name?”

“We need details!” The two second-years yelled out in unison. Their eyes shimmering in excitement as they waited for answers. 

“Uh, w-well…”

“Alright, that’s enough you two.” Daichi grabbed their shirt collars and pulled them back. “Give Asahi a break. He’s had an eventful day.”

“Yeah, come on, Asahi, let's get you a drink from the vending machine.” Suga offered, his hand already pushing him out of the room.

“I’m not thirsty-”

“Yes, you are.” Suga interrupted. “Our treat. Well, Daichi’s treat since he’s buying.”

The trio of third-years walked downstairs and true to Suga’s words, Daichi bought them a round of their favorite drink.

“Okay, spill! Don’t leave out a single detail. I want to know everything.” Suga pressed, just as Nishinoya and Tanaka were a few minutes ago.

“Suga, calm down.” Daichi told him. “You're worse than Nishinoya and Tanaka combined.”

“Oh, come on, Daichi,” Suga complained. “You want to know just as badly as I do.” 

“Ok, fine.” The captain admitted before turning to the ace. “So how did it go with (Y/N)?”

“Details.” Suga reminded him. 

So he told his friends everything that happened when they left them alone. How she raised his spirits, believing in his self-worth as an ace. How her words inspired him. How she made him feel nervous one moment and confident the next. How she bought him a new shirt as a gift.

“She sounds awesome for you, Asahi.” Suga complimented. “And if I remember correctly, doesn’t she fit your description of your ideal dream girl?”

“I mean- Yeah. She’s great but-”

Daichi interrupted him. “But what, Asahi? You're both single and you’re definitely interested in each other.”

“How do you know that? I mean she did say she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.”

“She said she didn’t need a jealous boyfriend.” Daichi reminded him. “You’re the most sensitive guy I know.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“This time it is.”

“Seriously, Asahi,” Suga placed his hand on his shoulder. “Why do you think I highlighted your star qualities? You take other people’s feelings into account. She helped build your confidence. And you just told us, how you had a great time talking to her where it sounds like she did too. You’re literally perfect for each other.”

“You think so?” He asked, sounding hopeful. “I do like her. Do you think she likes me?”

“Dude, she wasn’t scared of you, she held down a meaningful conversation with you, and she even bought you a shirt.” Suga listed, his grin growing by the minute. “(Y/N) likes you.”

The small flame of hope in his heart, fueled by his friends’ words, began to burn brightly. He couldn’t wait to see her again. Even if she’ll be on the sidelines on the opposing team’s side, he’ll still be happy.

“So what will you do next, ace?” Daichi asked, crossing his arms. Suga did the same thing as they waited for a response. “Will you let this opportunity slip away?”

“No way.”

His friends grinned, happy to see their glass-hearted friend sound so confident.

~

It was nightfall. Everyone took a rain check and turned in early, knowing that the next day will be just as hard as the first. The only person not asleep was him. He volunteered to shower last as it gave him the chance to relive the afternoon.

How was he going to talk to her tomorrow? Will she want him to talk to her? His team is playing against hers tomorrow… If they win tomorrow, will she be angry and ignore him? 

Shaking his head at the thought, he finished his nightly routine. He decided to wear the shirt (Y/N) bought for him. He grabbed the bag and unfolded the shirt. Carefully as if it was woven by the most precious fabric in the world. In his mind, the T-shirt was a treasure given to him by an angel.

For some reason, he recalled (Y/N)’s words, ‘So believe me when I say this, it’s okay to express those feelings. Maybe one day, you’ll find solace in someone.’

He hoped she believed that to be true because he might have found that someone. 

The sound of paper falling caught his attention. At first he thought it was just the discarded T-shirt tags, when his eyes landed on a simple piece of folded notebook paper in the sink. He picked it up, unfolded it, and his heart stopped for the third time? Fourth? Maybe fifth?

In clean and elegant handwriting, the note displayed:

I hope this isn’t weird of me to do this, but I didn’t want to lose this chance. So this is me making the first move because while I try to play it cool, you make me nervous. (Hard to believe, right?) Anyways, this is my number: XXX-XXX-XXXX. 

We can just talk if you want. You seem like a cool guy and I still want to get to know you. If you don’t, I’ll understand. Anyways, I’ll cut this note short. Good luck tomorrow! Don’t hold back against Inarizaki. 

P.S: I hope your friends were telling the truth earlier.

~

Normal POV

(Y/N) ditched her cards the moment she heard her phone let out a small ding, signaling a new message.

“Hey, you can’t just do that in the middle of the game!” Atsumu’s voice called out.

She ignored him as she jumped on her bed and grabbed her phone. Her heart was racing as she quickly unlocked her phone, but then it expanded at the sight of the message that read:

Hey, it's Asahi. Is this (Y/N)-san?

Her face broke into a wide smile. Her thumbs danced over the keyboard as she typed out a reply:

Asahi! Yeah, it’s me. I’m glad you found my note.

She watched as the three dots appeared, signaling that Asahi was typing. God, he has no idea the effect he has on her.

It was a nice surprise. A bit of a shock, but it’s very much welcomed. The shirt fits by the way. I think it’s my new favorite. 

Another message appeared after the first and she felt every atom in her body seemed to explode after reading it.

By the way, my friends were telling the truth. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

~

This was the first page of a story where two individuals found solace in one another.

~

Next: Chapter 2

[beetlejuicyy]

How about Bada lee angst based from a song, exile - Taylor swift. Bada in Bon iver pov while reader's Taylor. Sorry if there's any mistakes in my grammar, English is not my first language

Exile

Pairing: Bada Lee x idol! reader

Synopsys: you and Bada meet at the the W party after your break up

Warnings: angst

Notes: i love writing based on songs apparently. ty anon for requesting this and i hope you enjoy!!

Masterlist

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

She couldn’t say she didn’t expect you to be here. The W party meant famous guests and a great chance to networking. Bada would lie if she said a part of her was not happy to see you after so long. But she didn’t expect you to be on a man’s arm. And you were ironically enough sitting at the same table just across each other.

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin’, but the joke’s not funny at all

You were your ever charming self, paying attention to every word he said, laughing whenever he made some stupid jokes even a middle school kid would find cringe. You were wearing a classic little black dress that fit your body like a glove. You were as gorgeous as she remembered. Of course she saw you everywhere; makeup advertising, promoting your new song, thirst traps on tiktok. You haven’t been in touch for a while but she always kept an eye on you, no matter how ugly things ended between the two of you.

Now you showed up here with that creature. He wasn’t even handsome. It took her utmost control to keep smiling and navigate through all those people, exchange compliments as a possible beginning for future projects. But you were always somewhere in the corner of her vision, introducing your partner to people. Fans on the internet were saying it was just promotions for your new role in a drama. Other people said you were dating for real. She couldn’t tell.

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin’ all this love out here in the hall

She showed her cool self as always, although, as she stepped on the carpet in front of all the cameras, the lights blinded her and for a moment she felt like running. Bada was still in love with you, she was very much aware of it. As she walked to the sea of people, finding familiar faces that brought her comfort, she tried to hide the toll your presence was taking on her mood. You were the one who broke up with her after all, she could find the minimal amount of dignity left in her to look fine at least.

She couldn’t ignore you though. You worked together before and everyone knew you were close. You flashed her a dangerously frozen smile, large and perfect, the kind you had to rehearse for. On the outside it looked friendly and excited but behind your eyes was emptiness. She waved her hand back at you from the distance, faking excitement. Your partner must have known her because he waved too, eager to get to know Bada Lee, the dancer with all the spotlight on her at the moment. You dragged him somewhere else, away from her.

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

You’re not my homeland anymore

So what am I defending now?

Bada knew she had no right to be jealous. Your relationship was over a long time ago. But the seed of hope buried in her heart gave birth to the thought of talking to you alone. You had broken up several times and made up the moment you stumbled upon each other again. Maybe this could be one of those times when you would realize you loved her more than your ego allowed you to.

The hardest part was finding out you were seated at the same table, across each other nonetheless. She was well aware that death stares at your partner would be obvious. So she looked at you instead. Elegant and delightful, you looked around carefully, making sure you greeted everyone around the table while maintaining your graceful posture. Bada’s stare softened, remembering seeing you after schedule, when you would throw away your high heels and devour the biggest portion of instant ramen she had at home. Carefree and natural, loud and dramatic, full of life. That’s how she knew you. And she knew that behind the meticulously planned behavior you displayed, you were still the same girl she fell for. But you weren’t together anymore.

 Taking another sip of champagne, she quietly went backstage to change her outfit for the performance. She had to let go of these regretful thoughts that didn’t fit at all with her dance tonight. She had to be powerful and charming, deliver what the people liked. What you liked.

I can see you starin’, honey

Like he’s just your understudy

Like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

You noticed Bada’s eyes were lost lingering on your figure. You were used to people staring at you, especially when you were the main attraction in an expensive outfit at the top of the guest list. But her eyes always unsettled you.

It wasn’t a surprise for you that she was here. After all you had friends working at W who generously updated you with the full guest list before the event. But by the time you found out she was going to be here too it was too late to talk to your manager and go without a partner. You had to promote your upcoming drama in every way possible. But you wished you could have been here alone in front of her.

You noticed, of course you noticed how she was staring at him, questions popping in her head. You knew her better than you knew yourself. And maybe that’s why you weren’t together anymore. Had it not been this time and place, she would have started messing the poor man up out of jealousy. But he had no fault. He was a young guy with a dream of making it big, having just landed the role of his life with you.

Second, third, and hundredth chance

Balancin’ on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury

You looked back at her a couple of times across the table, trying to hide the hurricane of feelings in your chest. How many unresolved issues you had? You stopped counting long ago. Her eyes were cloudy and lost, at times it seemed like she was looking through you. She never tried hard enough to make it work, and loving each other like crazy was not enough to fix things. Or was it?

She seemed happy and excited to be here, you followed her at all times form under your lashes. You were proud of her for winning the competition, but any more than the simple congratulatory text you had sent her would have pushed you back in the same cycle. Breaking up and making up like none of you could make up their mind for good.

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

I’m not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

Although you were at work, although all eyes were on you, although you haven’t spoken in months, although she never listened to your complaints, she was looking at you like you belonged to her. Like you betrayed her by showing up with someone else. You wished she would just look the other way so it would be easier for the both of you. Instead, you had to play this stupid game of looking like the total opposite of what you were feeling, deciphering each other’s body language and fake smiles, pushing through the shock of seeing each other in order to portray the role you had to play.

When she performed she was breathtaking like she always was to you. Her facial expressions, the way she would enjoy the song, play along with the audience, her flirty looks for the camera all of those things melted your heart once again, after months and months of trying to lock it up.

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

You cheered for her. You had been supporting her all this time from afar anyway. But you could sense the shift in your heart and recognize the same pattern that always led to your making up. You swore to her on the night you broke up that it was the last time. You simply couldn’t work out. With every time you went back to each other your issues grew deeper and deeper the more you avoided talking about them.

You quietly excused yourself to the bathroom after the performance, a perfect moment to disappear unnoticed. You took a good look at yourself in the mirror. Perfect, without a single trace of the pain you felt inside.

So step right out, there is no amount

Of crying I can do for you

You had ran out of tears long ago. You only needed time to breathe, a break from the theatre play you had been performing tonight. You could go back makeup untouched, voice cheerful in any minute. Because you weren’t going to cry because of her.

I couldn’t turn things around

‘Cause you never gave a warning sign

Bada was taken over by the people requesting pictures and sharing impressions on their performance. She saw you watching, she was sure, but where did you disappear now? She never knew what you were up to, what you were truly feeling or thinking. You knew so well how to hide the ugly aspects of life that you hid from her too, even unintentionally. She couldn’t know you were in the bathroom almost crying because you never looked the least affected by her.

Your partner showed up in front of her, as he had been waiting in line to get the chance to exchange some words of admiration. Bada greeted him politely, like any other person. He seemed to know nothing of your history.

Now I’m in exile, seein’ you out

You appeared out of nowhere, grabbing him by the arm, apologizing once again for disappearing. As close as you were, the closest you had been the entire night, you felt like an invisible wall separated the two of you. It was your cue, your turn to tell her how amazing she was on the stage. Your lines were already thought and well aligned with the social script like always.

“I can’t wait to watch your new drama.” She took you by surprise, and you lost your composure for a moment. Your partner laughed and thanked her. You wanted to reach out and grab her hand run away right then.

Now I’m in exile, seein’ you out

But there was this wall between you, separating what you had been from what you were now.  

“You’re as good at dance as I remember.” You chimed in, earning a shy smile from her as she looked to the ground, thanking you. That’s all you could do. “See you around, Bada.” You said, your voice taken over by the nostalgia you had been feeling the entire night. The words weighted heavier than you had planned in your head and you wondered whether it was a mistake.

“I’ll be around for sure.” She said. The other members of Bebe called for her to take a group picture. With awkward smiles and lingering eyes that yearned for each other you both turned around, tending to your own business.

[luvrodite]

TAKE FLIGHT JASON TODD (college!au)

↳ headcanons about jason in the au that is currently taking up all my brain space. so incredibly self indulgent. extreme liberties taken with his characterisation i'm sorry this is fanfiction!!!!!

first and most importantly - nothing (too) bad happens in this au. i imagine him getting adopted by bruce, but he gets to live and be happy and he is so so loved and that doesn't change

if he's got issues with his dad it's normal human issues like not seeing eye to eye on things but at the end of the day he is cherished and bruce supports him in everything

so he goes to university. in this au i imagine him to be studying literature (of course, duh) but also something else. i feel like he'd be interested in philosophy, but in my mind it's definitely something in the humanities faculty.

moves out but doesn't do the dorm thing because he wants his own space, and i think bruce just takes care of everything and he doesn't have to worry about rent or groceries or anything of that sort

i think he'd still get a job though...like maybe in a secondhand bookstore or music store that nobody really goes to so it's quiet and he can work on his assignments and read most of the time

makes friends with the regular people that breeze in and out - likes to people watch because he gets so many interesting looking people that come through

i think he'd have to have a little old lady neighbour that doesn't trust him at first because look at him he's so tall and big and he's got his fair share of scars on his hands from high school

but he's an angel...probably helps her take in her groceries quietly and leaves it at that because that's simply the thing to do

like i don't imagine he'd be extremely chatty, but he's polite and says hello to everyone or nods at them in the elevator

she warms up to him and they have conversations in the morning when she’s going down for her daily morning walk and he’s got classes to head to 

imagining him with still slightly messy curls in the morning as he walks onto campus

he's so.. boy. in this au. does that make sense??? just. happy and stress free, and he loves his courses and he calls home every few days and his younger brothers are ever suffering because he talks so much about the stuff he’s learning 

sobs he’s such a nerd i love him but they’re just wondering how this is the guy that gets side-eyed everywhere he goes 

but he’s not mild mannered…he just minds his business

like i said, has gotten into his fair share of fights at school and similarly isn’t afraid to tell someone when they’re being a dick 

the girls in his class love him because he actually likes to have discussions with them instead of talking over them and is happy to speak for the group or let them do it if they want when they get called on for class discussions

he’s just that guy who at first glance seems a little intimidating because a) he’s gorgeous and b) is huge but you get put into a group with him and he’s so intelligent and polite, listens to what everyone has to say and has wicked smart opinions of his own to share

has a bike. in every iteration of jason he must have a motorbike i just cannot imagine him without a bike. nearly gives bruce a heart attack in this au because he immediately runs through the worst case scenarios and it takes AGES before he accepts it even if he does think the bike looks cool and it takes even longer before he lets jason take him for a spin on the back of it

bruce in this au is just. doting and a little anxious about things. and that's okay. he's coming to terms with his kids growing up, and the changes that come with that. at least he's still got his girls, who will never not come around to bother him. but dick has already left the nest, and jason is on his way. he just misses when they were little

he likes to say jason was so small he could hold him in the palm of his hands (a big lie, as he was small but not that small, but jason secretly likes the affection)

he scribbles in all his class assigned novels, notes filling up the margins and the blank pages at the end - annotations on annotations

has gone down a rabbit hole of literature papers analysing different texts at 3 am. several times

paperbacks on his bedside table, bookmarked with receipts and scraps of paper, literally anything that can be used - he'll use it

notebooks for each class that are equally as full, coordinating notes on books and poems and papers

sigh english student jason todd my beloved angel 

this isn't meant to be taken seriously at all, but we're here to have a good time. sigh i wanna make a moodboard so u guys can see the vision i have of him

[jenneyquinn]

the psychology of pacifica northwest

c/w: mentions of abuse, generational trauma, me being a yapper

i don't know if this ever has been brought up previously in the gf fandom, but i've always been intrigued by the pacifica and the bell from northwest mansion mystery. sure, it does get mentioned in journal 3 when dipper makes the allusion that her parents treat her like a butler but i think it goes deeper than that...

maybe i might be looking too deep into it, but that bell and how pacifica reacts to it doesn't sit right with me. i used to major in psychology when i started college and took a psychology course in high school, and if there was one thing i remember from the subject was the experiments—specifically, pavlov's classical conditioning (that one with the dogs, the food, and the bell).

if pacifica reacts to the bell in such a fearish state, to the point where she does whatever her parents say as long as they don't ring that bell, it could only mean that they truly were abusive to pacifica for years before the events of the show took place. and as much as i hate to admit this, but the northwests' abuse on pacifica must run deeper than disney would allow.

for instance, if pacifica was exhibiting behaviours her parents found unaccepable to their standards, they would simply punish her straightforwardly. the thing that confuses me is when preston and priscilla brought the bell into the mix—or why they thought it would be a better way of exerting discipline to their daughter (my first instinct is to assume that they would be more sneaky about their abuse, but then again, they're rich, so it's not like they need much of a reason to be this intricate in the first place).

surely, it had to have taken some time, though. perhaps, one day, they tried to introduce the bell while disciplining pacifica, and when she disobeyed further, they would punish her promptly.

to sum it up, pacifica's parents instilled the act of classical conditioning onto their daughter by the following:

unconditioned stimulus (us): the punishment (abuse)

unconditioned response (ur): fear

conditioned stimulus (cs): the bell

conditioned response (cs): fear

so, after thinking about all this, only one thought has stuck with me the entire time when it came to pacifica northwest:

her parents didn't only treat her like a butler, they used pavlovian conditioning to discipline her. they treated her like a dog—some sort of lab subject than a daughter.

it's so messed up.

and to think that these thoughts were running through my head ever since i learned about classical conditioning. now, with the release of the book of bill, and this is not a website, pacifica is more of a tragic character than the show has put onto her.

her character arc begins to lean towards themes of generational trauma and postcolonialism. pacifica feels the weight of her ancestors' wrongdoings heavily (in a subconscious level, of course), but at the same time, she feels helpless—which is as equally as screwed up as how her parents treat her. i mean, pacifica is only like what? twelve? thirteen? obviously too young too feel that much guilt in her subconscious.

i can definitely see her resenting her parents as she grows up, wanting to become as independent from them as possible; not that i can blame her. sure, she was able to overlook her parents' faults in weirdmaggedon, but i don't think she'd be really able to forgive them unless if they themselves put an effort to becoming better people (which i personally believe is a lost cause).

ideally, i hope that pacifica's future is filled with a full sense of self-realization—that she could be absolutely capable of finding self worth beyond money, vanity, and whatever materialism offers. also being married to dipper, but even if she doesn't—i just want this poor girl to be happy, damn it.

[dazed--xx]

Cardinal (Series Preview)

Series Summary: If there was one thing God could say he’s ever regretted creating he’d explain there were 8. The 8 Evil Thoughts. Vainglory, Avarice, Gluttony, Wrath, Lust, Pride, Envy, and Sloth are currently spending their exile living it up in the mortal world; spreading their sins into Gods most beloved creations so with determination in his heart he sends for the only things that can stop them….Their Virtues The Humility twins, Generosity, Temperance, Love, Chastity, Kindness, and Perseverance. Join them on a journey through morality, obsession, and temptation in Cardinal….

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Demon Au!

TW: YANDERE, Demon AU!, Cardinal Sins, Themes of Catholicism, mentions of religion, mentions of God, Blastphemy, smut, use of demonic powers, non-con (in some parts), more to be added as each part is posted.

A/N: So I’m officially off Hiatus 👋 so HIYA but I’ve been inspired for this for a while and I have been obsessed with the seven deadly sins since my theology class in high school and just now thought to write something about them but I’m super excited about this and I hope you guys will be too. Also anyone that has requested something your requests will be posted before this series and before one more time chapter 2 so keep an eye out cause I’m probably going to start posting those this week or next week anyway hope you enjoy the preview.

Bang Chan: coming soon

Vainglory; the sin or vice of one who immoderately desires renown, prestige, or the praise and respect of others. The desire of these things is not necessarily sinful but becomes so when it is immoderate and disordered.

Virtue: Humility

Summary: Belial, now reborn as Bang Chan as punishment for his most cardinal sin is happy with his prosperity as the CEO of Stay corporation. His employees worship the ground he walks on; his word holds more weight than almost anyone in all of South Korea, that is until a familiar foe threatens to take everything he’s built away. Now, Chan must face his largest feat yet…corrupting his virtue, Humility.

Minho: coming soon…

Avarice; an insatiable desire to gain and hoard wealth. It's similar to greed but goes even further, encompassing such things as selfishness, entitlement, materialism, consumerism, and hoarding.

Virtue: Generosity

Summary: Mammon, now cast away living his life disguised as mortal Lee Minho enjoys his days as the COO of Stay Corporation. From his many houses to the collections of automobiles he adores his cardinal sin. He indulges in his wealth, power and fornication as he so pleases bringing chaos to rain free wherever he so chooses until he’s faced with whom he only thought a myth…his virtue, Generosity.

Changbin: coming soon…

Gluttony; the over-indulgence or lack of self-restraint in food, drink, or wealth items, especially as status tokens.

Virtue: Temperance

Summary: Beelzebub, spends his days as Seo Changbin a world-renowned chef, wandering the cityscape bouncing from each flamboyant club to elegant restaurant he sets his sights on. He’d spend those days if it weren’t for the thorn in his side his virtue Temperance, a feisty archangel with a knack for ruining his fun he makes it his mission to corrupt the virtue and be the first of the sins to create a fallen angel.

Hyunjin: coming soon…

wrath; the inordinate and uncontrolled feeling of hatred and anger

Virtue: love or charity

Summary: Satan, now trapped in his mortal form Hwang Hyunjin by God due to his cardinal sins is forced to spend his eternity with his virtue, Love at his hip in every waking moment. He finds her mysterious call to his mind and heart infuriating as it drives him wild with wrath and infatuation. When he loses his ability to sense her presence everything is flipped into a world of Chaos, disparity and Wrath in which he did not cause. So, with a blood oath he sets out to locate his other half and destroy those that stolen her away from him.

Jisung: Coming soon…

Lust; defined as immoral because its object or action of affection is improperly ordered according to natural law or the appetite for the particular object (eg sexual desire) is governing the person's will and intellect rather than the will and intellect governing the appetite for that object.

Virtue: chastity

Summary: Asmodeus, now Han Jisung, a Has corrupted the strongest willed priests and popes in history. His love for his cardinal sin has him sharing the euphoria with almost every mortal he meets, that is until he comes face to face with his virtue, Chastity; the embodiment of everything he couldn’t have cast away by his own hands at the turn of the century. Her influence reaching a select few in his favorite personal hell. Vowing to show the object of his affection the true lengths Lust and absolute pleasure can take you; he embarks on a journey of fornication, heartbreak and persuasion.

Felix: coming soon…

pride; excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God.

Virtue: humility

Summary: Lucifer, hates his exile as Lee Felix under the demon Belial. He was far more intelligent than his current supervisor, he loathed his deity and their fear of anyone having a mind. He spent his days in a bore, missing his time in heaven he spends his days with visions of the precious virtue, Humility. He admonishes those that blindly follow their predestination, he detests his creator for condemning him to walk amongst these…. creatures that is until his twin brother presents him with a deal find and seal his beloved's fate…...corrupt her and get back into heaven.

Seungmin: coming soon….

Envy; sin of jealousy over the blessings and achievements of others

Virtue: kindness

Summary: Leviathan, lives his life as Kim Seungmin resenting his fellow keepers of the sins. They’re virtuous extravagant lifestyles to their most wildest dreams being fulfilled. While he had to stand there and watch, watch as the pesky humans around him found their way, watch as his brethren became successful in both hell and the mortal world. The Demon kings names bringing an icy chill up their spines at the power and influence they possess; if a demon king sets his sights on you, your soul becomes tainted with their sin until it eats the being alive and sends your soul straight to hell. He hates as his sin is the one full of disgust and had such a bad wrap, envy is what built civilization itself yet they worship Belial and the wretched deity that cursed himself, that is until he is greeted with something he’d never experienced before his virtue….Kindness

Jeongin: coming soon…

Sloth: a spiritual or emotional apathy, neglecting what God has spoken, and being physically and emotionally inactive. It can also be either an outright refusal or merely a carelessness in the performance of one's obligations, especially spiritual, moral or legal obligations.

Virtue: perseverance

Summary: Belphegor, enjoys his days as Yang Jeongin, the laid back neglectful floor manager of Stay Corporation. If you were to ask any of the mortal employees under his leadership they would say he was always at work but he was rarely ever working. His reputation was a positive one despite his hidden identity, he enjoyed watching as his floor scrambled to get report’s together for meetings he’d never mentioned until the day before. He adored sprinkling small bits of his sin around the office and watching as the floor became bored, underachieving and understandably tired. The only thing he would say he’d enjoy a change with is one particular little itty bitty thorn in his side; the one thing that he cannot stand more than actual work that sat right outside his office. His virtue….Perseverance.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group J Round 1: #J4 vs #J5

#J4: Kids conquering dungeons to change the world

A Magi is a magician whose inclination toward magic is so immense that they can be said to shape the world. With their significant influence, each Magi chooses a worthy candidate to become a king, then helps them conquer strange labyrinths called "Dungeons" and acquire the power of mythical djinns within. Above all else, the Magi supervises their elected representative as they build a country that might one day bring the world to its knees.

Aladdin is a young Magi wandering the world in search of his true self. However, his journey is not a lonely one, as he is accompanied by his friend and mentor Ugo—a djinn he summons using his flute. On his travels, Aladdin also befriends Alibaba Saluja and guides him to a nearby Dungeon. With this newfound friendship, they begin an epic adventure across the world, witnessing various irregularities that seem more frequent than ever.

#J5: Girls live in a school, but not by choice

Carefree high school senior Yuki Takeya looks forward to the School Living Club every day. Consisting of the president Yuuri Wakasa, the athletic Kurumi Ebisuzawa, the mature Miki Naoki, the supervising teacher Megumi Sakura, and club dog Taroumaru, the club prides itself on making the most of life at school. There is only one rule the club members have to follow: all members must live their entire lives within school grounds.

[Admin: I didn’t notice it while screening the submissions, but the submitter’s original trailer and tagline contained MAJOR spoilers for episode 1. Luckily, I’ve watched this show before, so I can edit it safely.]

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#J4: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

Propaganda 1:

Imagine characters from Arabian Nights/1001 Nights coming to life in an anime. Even though it is loosely inspired off of the tales, it is a unique time and place from most anime settings. It has action, humor, and deep concepts. One of my favorite parts about Magi is how well-developed the background characters are.

Propaganda 2:

This anime has a lot of philosophical takes on what fate is. Basically, is everything that happened to you caused by a force you can’t control or is it what you make of it? Is there something or rather someone pulling the strings on what should or shouldn’t be? Is the person you are because you were lucky or unlucky to be born in the wealthy family or not? Why are things the way they are? Why was I dealt with a shitty hand in life? Is it because I’ll never amount to anything, or is something doing this to me? Why are we here just to suffer kind of deal, but you know not the meme version, the really sad and real version. Then you have the side of the people who may have not had the best life, but found a way out of it. Why do some people get to feel the light when you went through the same thing, but still lost and in the dark?

Trigger Warnings: Partial nudity and slavery. One of the mains is a slave in the beginning, but the other two mains help free her from that.

#J5: School-Live! (Gakkougurashi!)

[Admin: The official trailer spoils ep1, so here, have the opening instead.]

Propaganda:

If you like Madoka Magica, you’ll 100% like this series. It’s hard to explain without spoilers, but it has a huge plot twist in the first episode. The anime is a short one with only 12 episodes, but it has an amazing manga as well! It mixes a cute slice of life high school anime with a darker plot, and it’s handled so well. It doesn’t seem like it’s just dark for the sake of being edgy like some other similar series. It covers topics like mental health and grief well, and it has as happy of an ending as possible for a series like this. The plot twists were executed so well, and I was sobbing by the end of the series.

Trigger Warnings: Animal Cruelty or Death, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Derealization.

[Admin: I had to remove the submitter’s explanations for the TWs because it will spoil the show greatly. You're on your own now. Proceed at your own risk.]

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[the-blue-fairie]

I saw Frozen in theaters today as part of the Disney100 Special Engagement.

One of my deepest regrets is that I never saw Frozen in theaters when it came out. I know that must sound really silly when put alongside my other regrets (like, you're going to put not seeing a Disney film in theaters alongside being in the closet for years?) but... that film changed me.

And again, I know, that's what everybody says. And I can imagine people easily saying to me, "Oh, the incredibly popular Disney film that became a Phenomenon had an emotional impact on you? Get in line. Oh, Elsa/the Let it Go sequence was part of your queer awakening? You and scores of other people, that's not as special as all that."

But it's special to me. Even if scores of people have profound emotional connections to this film, even if scores of people felt their own queerness reflected in Let it Go, everyone's personal experiences are uniquely resonant to them and special. And sure, it might sound more than a little silly/cringe to say that my egg was able to crack because of connections I made with trans Frozen fans I met online a decade ago, but... it's the truth.

I didn't see it in theaters. I was recently out of high school, I was too good for Disney films, too "adult" for them, and I skipped over the film. But since it DID become a phenomenon, I made sure to check it out the moment it came to home media and... to say that the characters and plot resonated with me would be an understatement. The prologue hit me like a truck. The complicated, beautiful, heartbreaking bond between the sisters resonated deeply. Anna's desperation for human connection in the face of isolation hit me hard. Elsa's being conditioned to fear herself, her wanting to reach out but dreading the consequences, her constantly putting others' needs above her own to the point of self-abnegation culminating in the moment that finally breaks and we get one of the most exultant sequences I've ever seen. (Yes, I'm gushing over a sequence so universally beloved that people got sick of it, sue me.) And, God, I still see so much of myself in both sisters. And, obviously, some reflection of myself in a queer reading of Elsa.

I dove headlong into the fandom and it was through connections I made there that I was able to process who I was. I've met friends and loved ones through this film, and for that, I am so grateful.

I've always regretted I never saw Frozen in theaters and was so glad to have the opportunity today.

The screening had a running commentary from the kids behind me. :D There was a little girl dressed as Elsa just ahead of me. Judging by their ages, this was their first time seeing the film in theaters as well, and I'm happy they got that chance.

I teared up during Do You Want to Build a Snowman and For the First Time in Forever. I think FtFTiF was the moment it fully hit, "Oh my gosh, I'm really getting the chance to watch this on the big screen."

I love Moana and Encanto dearly, but of all the Disney films that came out this past decade, Frozen is the one that means the most to me.

I love this film so much.

Thank you, Frozen.

@sniperct @ariel-seagull-wings @princesssarisa @thealmightyemprex @brokenwild @grctw @greatqueenanna @patricia-von-arundel

[peanutpinet]

hi you are getting request for h&l right🌝 can i ask for a request too sword leaders how would it be with an albino girlfriend and have a nice day take care of yourself 💞

High & Low S.W.O.R.D Leaders x Albino Girlfriend

A/N: can I just say that this is me when I first receive this request. Also, yes, I’m one of those that watch this series because of Yuta (fellow nctzen here). But I must say that I really enjoy the H&L SWORD era more than ‘The Worst’ one. But anyways, thank you reader for requesting and while I haven’t fully grasped Rocky & Hyuga’s characters, I hope that you still enjoy reading <3

Cobra:

First off, can we have another SWORD film for the next High & Low but combined with the current Oya High, Housen and even Suzuran :’))

Honestly, I feel that he would be the type of guy that always be there to comfort you whenever you feel self-conscious

Your number #1 Hypeman

Would never be shy to show you off to everyone

Would feel proud whenever he sees you being confident in yourself (secretly boost his own ego because again, he’s proud to have you as his girlfriend and would be happy whenever you’re happy)

Would definitely give the “BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE”, “CRIMINAL OFFENSIVE SIDE EYE” to anyone who dares to make fun of you or even give you weird looks

Would probably excuse himself for a moment and come back with a “slightly” bruised hand because he was beating someone that offended you

Overall, Cobra would be the type to show his affection in the little things he does, he will be your #1 hypeman and would not hesitate to protect you

Rocky (so sorry this is short T^T):

Man is always about “Protecting Women”, “Women empowerment” so you best believe that this man will make you feel like the queen you are

This man will always give you praises no matter what time of the day or event it is

Will always make sure that you are safe and know your worth; regardless who told you otherwise

Will threaten every single other person who dares to make you inferior to everyone else

“Don’t you dare hurt women; especially my woman. Ever again”

Would practically spoil you and get you anything that you want; even if you think that it’s too expensive

Overall, this man knows how to respect women and will not hesitate to “teach” everyone else on how to respect other women, especially his (aka you)

Murayama:

UGHHH I MISS MURAYAMA T^T I want him back in another High & Low film 🥹

Honesty, the man is most likely awkward with girls but I know for sure that Murayama would still respect any kind of girl he comes across with (except if they are an enemy)

Would most likely be completely shocked at your appearance at first (not in a bad way) but later on would think that you look cool being different

Probably would show you off to the other Oya High students but without giving them all a warning if they say anything mean to you because Murayama knows what it’s like to want to fit in with everyone

If someone at Oya started to bully you, Murayama would stride his way to that person and proceed to give them 100 punches - ehem, you’re probably the only one that could stop him from actually reaching that 100 punches

Would be your personal bodyguard because he knows how some undisciplined students can be especially when you’re the only girl in the school

Would joke around to make you laugh

But would also purposely fake hurt himself so that he could be clingy towards you

Overall, Murayama would be the chaotic but loveable boyfriend who is clingy towards you but also would always have your back

Smoky:

Can I also firstly say that I miss him so much T^T Alright, to the actual headcanon

Just like everyone else in Nameless City, Smoky would not see you any differently than everyone else

He considers you family regardless of your appearance

In fact, he sees your different appearance as something special, which makes him feel that you’re someone special - which you are (to him)

But it isn’t just Smoky but the entire Nameless City sees your different appearance as something new, fresh and beautiful

Such an Acts of Service kind of person

Doesn’t say much but shows his affection towards you. Am sure that he would be there to comfort you whenever you feel self-conscious

Holding hands, back hugs are a must with this man

Though Smoky rarely says anything, when he does, they are all compliments about how beautiful you are

Overall, this man is precious and he would also treat as someone very precious and special

Hyuga:

ngl, I feel like I know Hyuga the least out of all the SWORD leaders but I’ll still try my best

I just feel like out of all of the leaders, he and Smoky are the least to get into a fight even if someone were to be mean

Not that he doesn’t care but more so he already has someone to do the dirty work for him whereas he would be there for you

He would personally take you out on a drive

I can imagine a late drive together even when it’s like 3am :))

For some reason, I feel like he would be more of a gift-giving kind of person

Like I just feel that he’s the type of person that would give you like surprise gift every now and then because this man is full of surprises

Would always lighten the mood whenever you feel down or insecure

Would probably throw a party dedicated just for you just to make sure that you know you are loved

Overall, there is never a dull moment in your life or a time where you feel unwanted because Hyuga will always make sure you know that you have a special place in Daruma and his heart (ngawwwww)

A/N: once again, thank you reader for requesting and I hope that everyone enjoyed reading! Stay safe and always be happy :) xoxo Vinet

[imagineitdearies]

Hello! Just finished PS. I cannot praise you enough. Its easily the best thing ive read this year, and my resolution was to read multiple books a month. You surpass ALL OF THEM!

Saw ur authors note at the end abt an original queer vamp novel- is there anymore info yet? Im sure you've got ppl begging already but id truly love to beta when the time comes- or be first in line to preorder.

I feel like i read this at exactly the right time of my life.

The story was so painful yet rewarding bc i see so much of myself in Tyrus. Astarion and Tyrus truly feel like two different exstensions of my healing self. I wont go into it, but im a survivor to. Like tyrus, it happened when i was a young. Seeing his transformation throughout his decade of enslavement, his hatred towards himslef and the world, all bc of one man hit home. I kept telling myself that if it didnt have a happy ending id have to burn my phone or smthn lol. Seeing Astarion amd Tyrus not just defeat Cazador, but do it together, do it solely through their love of one another, broke me. The power of love, hope, and goodness. I havent cried over a fanfic since middle school. Im in my 20s now. I adored the final 2 chapters of the aftermath- im so grateful we got to meet his sister! And with Halsin, no less!

Im so thrilled you'll be adding oneshots and other stories to the universe. Tyrus is so real, so alive, id hate to see him contained in one story.

I love how Tyrus, ultimately, changeed. He didnt change into a monster like he feared, but what happened to him did changed him. Thats not a bad thing, tho. He's still Tyrus, simply a new version. And im still me, simply a new version.

I dont know if ill ever be able to reread, even skimming over the rougher parts was hard, but im so grateful i was able to see Tyrus and Astarion's journey. All of their triumphs felt like mine, all of their failures. Their never wavering love and trust in one another, that they understood it was Cazador that made them do those bad things. Ur right, pain and love must be intertwined, which is why this fic was so amazing. The highs would have never felt so spectaular without the lowest of lows.

Im rambling, i apologize. I do hope you read this, even if you dont respond. I hope my thanks and praise can give u something in return for what you've given me.

If you've made it this far, have you made any content on ur process? Ur planning? The flow was amazing, ur description, the flashbacks- did you go to school for writing? As a writer myself im almsot jealous at ur talent- but mostly curious :) id love to know anything you're willing to share.

Again, thank you. This was a gift, you know. I wont forget it.

Hi turtleurtle!! Great to see you over here, thank you so much for your kind words 🩵🩵 it means a lot any time I hear people enjoyed PS as much/more than published fiction!!

Speaking of, yes, since you ask I do have a little more to say now on my original story. I took a small writing break for a week or so but have now jumped back into the saddle for the next adventure! Lots of plotting, character creation, worldbuilding, and research happening right now.

Reuben, our first main POV, is almost fully fleshed out as a character and I’m so excited for you all to meet him (he’s an eloquence bard, for starters)!! The first book/part is almost fully outlined and I’ve written the first few pages. I’m really starting to get inspired by where the storyline is going.

Back to PS though—I’m so glad you felt seen with Tyrus’s character. He did inevitably change, but by the end he is (mostly) at peace with that and can still forge a good life and happy relationships. Meeting Cynda again was that last little piece of hope he needed to believe it 🥹

Haha the light does always seem brighter when you’re stuck in pitch darkness! On the other hand, it’s something Tyrus only thinks once, but I would argue love is not intertwined with pain more than anything else. Pain is just an inevitability. No matter what you do, you will experience discomfort, sorrow, loss, physical suffering (see Cazador, with absolutely zero love in his life). While love is not inevitable, it’s a choice. Love is a gift we choose to give and to receive in the midst of inevitable suffering and that is why it is so precious. Having that perspective has really helped me heal and have more hope for the future 🩵

Haha never apologize for rambling about PS! This thing has consumed my soul for the last 8 months so I love the chance to hear from/converse with people especially now that the full story is posted and all is revealed. Honestly wish I could sit down with you all and just discuss everything!! But seriously thank you for this message.

As for my writing, here’s a few writing advice asks I've answered, but i haven’t gotten too in-depth on my chaotic process yet. I will say long walks talking to myself, bullet lists, and brackets are my personal recipe for success (besides just writing for years and years) 😂 I did take a lot of classes in school too! If people have specific questions, I’m happy to give my best go at an answer.

Thanks so much 🥰

[spyxfamilyanalysis]

Chapter 97 & 98... shock me a lot (Part 1)

Alright, before reading my point of view about the chapters, ...

Thank you all so much because we finally reached 80 followers, we are on the way to 100 followers!!! I couldn't have done this without your support on liking my analysis. Though I may be not the best at analyzing anime or manga, and I probably be inactive quite long (could be because I'm busy studying, and I ran out of ideas), I will do my best giving you guys something to read (?) to entertain, all to the fans of SPY x FAMILY!

And Happy 2nd anniversary for this blog @spyxfamilyanalysis!!!

Now let's get back to the post.

After the ball dance event in chapter 97, we get to see Martha (Becky's butler) and Mr. Henderson (Anya & Becky's housemaster)'s past when they were schoolmates.

Now that I know Martha is 3 years younger than Henderson 😮

And oh boy, how I love this cute "romance" between the both of them :")))

From strangers to familiars, they have a very cute bond between a senpai and a kouhai. Firstly, if you haven't read chapter 97 and 98, read it now! Because this post contains spoilers!

Well, not because you can't read this post duh! I feel like if you read the manga first, you will get what I'm writing, so you can follow the flow of this post better.

(why this pic is so messed up...)

Just kidding really, I know you will keep reading anyway... Ima right??? 😏

Now first, plot of the story:

Chapter 97

(seriously, i dunno what to explain here, since this is the intro for senpai and kouhai's friendship~)

Ok why is the lady has Anya's signature smirk :D

Every since Martha's debut in ballerina show dance, the first ever word Henderson ever spoke was "How elegant!", which to everyone's surprise, from an elite to a transfer student.

And after that day, Martha, and new transfer student, ended up having friends thanks to her talent in ballerina, while Henderson, an Imperial Scholar, lost some because of his strict attitude (?) and his arrogant, was called "Mr. Elegant".

Yet these 2 opposite characters ended up spending time having tea and conversation, and they both enjoying each other's company, as if they are close friends, more than just the relationship between an upperclassman and an underclass-"woman". Personally, I think that is a great start to build relationships with not only just your peers, but also your upperclassmen. I mean, you can ask for the latter's advice, they can support your study, since they know more than you.

Heck, I wish I knew an upperclassman to help me with my studies and exams, too much for an introvert :")) But I guess I don't have time for that anymore... because I AM now the upperclassman. It's my last year in high school already, and 7 days left before my entrance exam for university. My sister is lucky to have me to guide her...

Martha also helped Henderson by protecting and defending him from his bullies, and hell, she was very funny when she was young. This could not get any more silly huh 🤣🤣🤣

And so, after graduation, he decided to become a teacher, probably because of how "unclever(?)" the teacher was, kinda blaming Henderson for boycotting military, and the bullies were the ones at fault.

And finally, ya all know, the prom dance...

Yes, he is not interested at all! Like bruh man >:(

Becky felt so bad for Martha, her butler. I, too, felt bad for her. But uh, I understand that at this young age, "love" is something hard to describe, feel, understand.

Off-topic: I also experienced love at first sight before, and you know, the feeling "love" is very vague. When I saw "him", a friend same class as mine in secondary/ junior high school, but not same class in high school, someone I kinda like, but not truly "love", I couldn't really confess my love to him. I can't say that "I love you" so randomly. Because, like, in my opinion/ definition of "love", you have to understand the other person's true self, and decide whether it is worth enough to confess, and you must stand on your ground of what truly happen, and what it means to love somebody. And I was an amateur of that, so I really am unsure what feeling I am experiencing. Like I had said in one of my "fact post" about me and Liam in my blog @laurenmiki06, I don't experience love before so I'm not sure of my sexuality. Besides, I know in some parts of America, ya care a lot about your sexuality and pronouns, but I'm in Vietnam, so they don't matter to me. I am not being offensive about this. I mean, what if he already has someone in mind that is not me? What if I got rejected, and probably, I couldn't bare the pressure, the pain I have to endure. That's why, in this 12-ish year of studying, I tried to ignore and set the feeling "love someone other than my family" aside, and focus on studying to pass grades, before heading to university And well, what Martha said is very true, you are still young and naive about your surroundings, you need to understand life first, before making decisions, that might affect your future.

And oh well, Henderson did say so himself: I was still so ignorant. So obsessed with pursuing my ideals... so desperate to radically change the world... that I couldn't keep step with those around me... or even spare a thought for the hearts of those even closer.

After two and a half years... she managed to become a Imperial Scholar, as she promised to him when they were still together at their own tea party-break.

And who would have thought that the new teacher they were about to greet was Henderson!?

And that's the end of chapter 97!

P.s.1. Bruh, I wish romance in real life could be like this... Lost and found again, and fall in love. And here I thought it would end up like this (I wish I COULD end up like this) but no, I still single :"))

And we all thought, Martha and Henderson will be on good terms again, like a fellow senpai and his trustworthy kouhai...

Chapter 98

At the start of the chapter, we finally have a reunion of Martha and Henderson (his first name is Henry, but I prefer to call Henderson). And we thought it would stay the same as that, still chatting at tea party... alongside with taking cover for bombs and war outside, of course.

Well, that's not until... this happen.

And there goes her future career in ballet... :"(((

Martha was depressed, but then something unbelievable just happened... Martha decided to join the army.

And what she said is true, they are living in the world where weapons are everything. Either you are saved from being killed or being killed. Survival is everything on the battlefield. Martha has to stand up and fight back, or she will lose everything. She has no choice, after all...

Henderson recalled himself as hard-headed, kinda stubborn, lost in a world of idealistic, where he thought that education can save the world, yet it worth nothing...

He was a history teacher, and you know what they say, let the past be the past.

When Martha heard that his parents were about to look for a wife, she overheard that and shed in tears. She knew that she ran out of time. You know already that I mentioned in chap 97 that she was in love of Henderson. She stood tall and bold, acted strong before the graduation ceremony and the ball dance.

While every ladies dressed in beautiful gowns and dressed, she dressed in an army suit, which surprised Henry.

And holy- their dance is hilarious, first time I saw his flaws in dancing, quite inelegant for a gentleman.

And the hit point, she was trying to confess her love to him... But it feel a bit... sudden and I felt it was missing something...

The English translate: "How much I truly come to-"

But in the Vietnamese translate: "Em thích a-" -> "I love y-" (it's a bit blur)

And that's the end of part 1

Part 2 coming soon...

P.s.2. Tatsuya-san really know how to make us insane.

Why!? It was good all the sudden! I was hyped after reading this, and then I became bored... This is the definition of a cliff-hanger. Well done, Tatsuya-san, you really know how make us drive insane :) Our adrenaline is rising and waiting for your next chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The author's few words: Thank you for reading this!!! I've been busy lately, because I'm about to take my entrance exam (abt to die :"))) ), so after this post is posted, I'll be inactive for this blog for a week or so. I need to take a break from the test, it is pressured :")

Any ways, in truth, after chapter 98 was out for a while, I already start working on this. But it is hard for me to find time typing this (or could be I'm lazy), so long that chapter 99 just out a few days ago...

So Part 2 will be about chapter 99 then :)))

[mollymauk-teafleak]

you can set my broken bones and i know cpr

I’ve been mentioning this fic for so long its not even funny but it’s finally here! What I imagine their first time to be like, as intense and messy as they are. As always this is dedicated to and comes with huge thanks to my wonderful gf @hangsters!

Please reblog and comment over on Ao3 if you liked this!

-----

What's your problem, Kazansky?

Tom is trying to work out the answer to that question when, all of a sudden, it walks through the door.

-----

What’s your problem, Kazansky?

It was a hell of a question.

Tom didn’t think Maverick had meant much by it, he was just riling him up, business as usual. Snapping and nipping at each other the way they always seemed to when they were forced into close proximity, testing each other’s limits, finding out where the boundaries were. Normal amongst guys like them, the best of the best, bold, young men used to defying the laws of physics as a day job.

But Maverick and Iceman found those boundaries just so they could break them. That wasn’t normal.

It was locker room posturing but when Maverick had said that, Tom’s brain had apparently seized it with both hands, eagerly replaying it over and over to drive him mad. What’s your problem, Kazansky?

Not just the words but the way Maverick said it, his hair slick with sweat and eyes sparking with leftover adrenaline, the collar of his too large flight suit turned up in a way that made Tom want to take a fistful of it. Just round and round in his brain as he tried to focus on his classwork, as he tried to distract himself by working out, as he tried to do anything but think about Pete Mitchell.

It was a hell of a question but at least Tom had answered honestly. Kind of. He wasn’t sure he could lie to Maverick, just take evasive action.

What’s your problem, Kazansky?

You’re everyone’s problem.

Maverick was everyone’s problem, he hadn’t lied, the guy was going to get someone killed one of these days. It was only that Tom probably had a slightly different problem than the rest of them. A different kind of crash and burn was waiting for him the more time he spent thinking about Maverick, goddamn Maverick with that smile and those eyes and that way of looking at Ice’s walls and knowing exactly where the cracks were.

Because Maverick had been honest too. He was dangerous. More dangerous on the ground than he ever could be in the air, at least to Tom. Up there, he knew how to fly right, keep it perfect and seamless to throw off cowboys like Maverick.

But down here, Tom was trapped. Trapped with that fucking crooked smile and his own traitorous brain that didn’t know when to  let go of something that was going to ruin him, that refused to learn lessons he’d already had beaten into him.

What’s your problem, Kazansky?

It was a hell of a fucking question.

Being at Top Gun was a lot like being in high school, in a very depressing way.

Tom was back to fighting to prove he was the best, back to his unhealthy studying schedule, back to measuring his self worth on a scoreboard. Back to spending all hours at the gym to try and wear himself out too much to think about another guy.

It really was exhausting to realise how little ground he’d covered since then.

Slider wasn’t happy with him, it had been obvious on his face, when Tom tried to lightly, casually, shrug and say he wasn’t feeling home just yet, he’d stay and work out a little longer, trying to make it sound as though the thought had just occurred to him. Slider knew him far too well to be fooled, his face had fallen into the frown that Ice assumed he must use with his daughters when they tried to tell him they had no idea who’d tracked mud through the house or who’d scribbled in crayon on the walls.

He’d thought for a moment his RIO would dig his heels in, get stubborn the way he only ever did when Ice was doing this to himself. But he’d just sighed and shrugged and muttered something about making sure Tom paced himself, leaving him to it. Leaving Tom feeling absurdly guilty, of course, but he’d find a way to make it up to him.

Making sure he didn’t get kicked out of the Navy and leave him without a pilot would be a start.

So Tom headed down to the gym as the windows were filling with the orange glow of sunset. Breathing easily the way he only could in an empty room, he kicked the treadmill into a setting most people would wince at and lost himself in the act of running. It had always felt good, Tom letting his heart thunder in his chest and his pulse roar through his ears, his muscles burning and his lungs fighting in his chest. He’d spent so many evenings like this when he was younger, just running along the beach without caring where he was going or worrying about saving energy for getting back home. It had been the only way for Tom to satisfy his restless anxiety, at least until he’d learned to fly.

He’d never truly been able to run from the things chasing him. The shouting at home, the slamming doors and fists against the walls, the tension at school, the constant fear of anyone finding out. All those followed him, no matter how fast he ran, even now he was supposed to have outgrown it all.

But it was nice to believe it, for a little while.

At least until it tipped over from pain Tom could bear into pain he couldn’t. Regretfully, he thumbed the button until he dialled down from a headlong sprint to a rapid walk, panting heavily, eventually no longer at risk of hurling on his own trainers, just trembling and gasping and blinking sweat out of his eyes.

There was one blissful moment of silence or at least what passed for silence while blood was scorching through his ears and his heart was throwing itself against his ribs.

Just one though.

“What the hell is your problem, Kazansky?”

This had to be some kind of nightmare, Tom thought numbly. There was no other explanation for why the very man he’d come here to get away from would be standing there right now, towel in hand, eyebrow cocked in a way that was inherently punchable. It had to be a nightmare, on par with the classic turning up late for an exam you didn’t study for or appearing in the middle of the assembly hall naked. God help him, he really was back in high school.

“You trying to kill yourself or something? Jesus Christ…” Maverick scowled, as if he had any right to an opinion on what Tom did with his spare time, “If you’d tripped, that pretty face of yours would have been smeared about a mile across the floor.”

Tom swallowed hard and steeled himself, even as his skin burned and chest heaved and sweat ran in sheets down his face. Maverick was always doing that. Moving in close. Letting his eyes wander. Stretching and flexing when he knew Tom was looking. That pretty face of yours.

Tom had always had guys getting up in his face, that was being in the Navy, that was being a fighter pilot. But this part was new, this part was all Pete Mitchell. Those little jabs that could just be posturing, could just be Maverick’s own tastes, the ones that had been obvious to Tom since he’d first set eyes on the man.

But could so easily be a less than subtle I know. I know exactly what you’re thinking, Tom Kazanksy.

That was the part Tom had no clue how to deal with. That was where the crash and burn was waiting.

So he did what had been working for him so far, what he’d done when Maverick had given him that smile from across the briefing room and when he’d bared those teeth and got nose to nose with him in the locker room, trying to make the Iceman flinch. Tom just set his jaw, didn’t move a muscle in the direction Maverick wanted him and smiled like this was all amusing rather than terrifying.

“Sweet of you to care, Mitchell, but I’m fine,” he turned away from him to kick the treadmill up into a light jog, keeping him out of sight to make things easier, “What are you doing here? Sure there’s a small army of girls at the O Club wondering why there’s no overcompensating shortass doing bad karaoke in their faces.”

He heard Maverick give an exaggerated wince and sigh, “Damn…and here I was trying to make you proud, Ice. I thought good little pilots stayed up all night to make sure they were the best…”

“Realised you couldn’t keep up with me on nice white teeth and charm alone, huh?” Tom gritted his teeth and thumbed the button to take the speed up higher, ignoring the protesting burn in his chest.

He couldn’t see the way Maverick’s eyes crinkled and his grin turned crooked as he laughed but Tom’s turncoat brain filled it in for him anyway.

“Guess not…you really think my teeth are nice?”

Tom’s face burned for a reason other than the punishing pace of his feet, “Yeah. A pretty nice target.”

“There it is,” he laughed again, a highly irritating ease to it like this really was just fun for him.

Maverick slung his towel over the frame of the machine next to Tom. Of course, with the entire rest of the gym completely empty. What would be the point otherwise?Tom wanted to ask what the hell he was doing here. He wanted to ask where Goose was, at least he was a good, affable buffer. He wanted to turn heel and run away. But all of those were different degrees of letting Mitchell win so he just focused on breathing and running, on trying to believe that every heavy step would take him further away from this problem.

“God, you’re doing it again. Kazansky, if you wanna compare dicks with me, we can just go into the showers and get it over with, you don’t need to give yourself a freaking coronary.”

Maybe it was the mention of dicks- something a certain part of Tom’s brain was already doing way too much thinking about with Maverick in those gym shorts- or maybe it was because Maverick had missed but still hit far too close for comfort. Whatever the reason, those words shot right through a chink in the armour and Tom found himself snapping and throwing his fellow pilot a glare.

“Why do you care?”

Maverick arched his eyebrows, like he was just as surprised as Tom at the slip, “Aren’t you the one who told me we’re on the same side?”

“But you don’t care about that,” Tom panted, hating how weak he sounded, trying to speak as he ran.

“Well. Maybe I’m having too much fun with some actual competition,” Maverick quirked his shoulders, “Believe whatever you want, just be careful. Cracking your head open on a fucking treadmill would be a really dumb death for a fighter pilot.”

Figuring out why this was infuriating him so much more than the smug grins and raised fists would probably take more soul searching and therapy than Tom would ever have time for.

“I don’t need Pete Mitchell of all people telling me to be careful,” he growled, turning the speed up just to be an asshole.

Maverick rolled his eyes, “Kazansky, it’s just us here. I mean, for God’s sake…”

That’s what’s worrying me. So Tom clicked his teeth closed and focused his eyes ahead, resolving to pretend this conversation had ended despite all social cues. Whatever was coming at the end of Maverick’s exasperation, if anything even was, he didn’t want to know. He wouldn’t allow himself. The only thing he was allowed to do was run.

And then even that was taken away from him. Because his left foot suddenly caught on the edge of his right sneaker, because suddenly he was lurching forward with no way to stop himself or right himself, because suddenly there was no time to even make a noise or even brace for the pain.

Because suddenly a hand was slamming on the stop button and a surprisingly strong arm was wrapping around his chest and holding fast like the harness in his plane. The track halted and that solid arm was enough that Tom could jerk his foot out and catch himself. It felt like his stomach kept moving though, slamming sickeningly into the bottom of his feet with the realisation of just how close he’d come to a nose dive onto what was essentially a belt sander.

And the realisation that it was Maverick holding him upright.

“Fuck,” there was a fair amount of surprise on the other pilot’s face. His finger was still on the stop button and his arm was still around Tom, “Didn’t I say you were being a moron?”

Tom jerked back like the touch was burning him, so sharply that he nearly went sprawling all over again, “Don’t.”

Maverick frowned, “Don’t? Don’t what, don’t keep you from giving yourself a concussion? Jesus, Kazansky-”

“Why do you do that?” Tom wheezed, trying to get his breath so he could sound less like a pouty child, “You hardly ever use my callsign except when you’re making fun of me. It’s fucking infuriating.”

He wasn’t exactly going to recover from that so Tom just stalked off towards the showers. He’d run circles around his bedroom if he had to, so long as it wasn’t where Pete Mitchell was. Though the man himself seemed determined to make that harder, at his heels like one of those little dogs that just wanted to keep snapping at you, whether it was winning or not.

“What, you want me to call you Iceman? You sound like a Batman villain and not one of the interesting ones,” Maverick was bristling, though Tom couldn’t see why and had no desire to find out.

“What I want is for you to get out of my face, Maverick,” Ice scowled, pulling his sweat soaked shirt up over his head, training his eyes on the locker in front of him, trying to turn the other pilot into a buzzing irritation in the corners of his eye, something small and dismissable.

“For helping you? See, this is what I don’t understand about you,” Maverick squared his shoulders, Tom only knowing because he felt the wary prickle it sent down his spine, “When I’m an ass, you play the game and you bite back. But when I actually try to be nice…I don’t get you.”

“And why do you care about getting me?” Tom asked before realising with a wave of sickening panic that he wasn’t supposed to want that question answered.

That panic made him turn, looking to end whatever this was and head to the showers to probably do something embarrassing about it. But of course that brought him nose to chest with Maverick. Tom expected anger, he expected that smug, crooked grin, he expected gritted teeth and challenge.

But Pete Mitchell just looked uncertain. Not a look Tom had ever expected to see on that face but it suited his features better than it really should.

“Because…because it’s just us here?” he said. Like that was all there was to it. “So…so what's your problem, Kazansky?”

Tom swallowed hard, “You’re dangerous.”

Maverick’s mouth twitched, “And you’re smug.”

“You’re cocky,” Tom took a step forward, bringing them closer.

Maverick lifted his chin, “You’ve got a stick up your ass the length of my arm.”

“And…” Tom took a deep breath, though it didn’t do much to slow his heart, “And this is never going to work out, Mitchell.”

Of all things, Maverick laughed, his eyes so bright it looked like a fever. The way they’d looked when he’d first asked him that hell of a question, when he’d gotten right up in Tom’s face and turned the callsign that was his armour into a joke. The way they probably looked when Mav threw back the throttle in his plane and pulled off some insane, probably illegal manoeuvre that by all rights should have got him confined to quarters or slammed into the ground at mach two. Except this time his hand was outstretched and he was asking Tom to come with him.

“How do you know if you never try?” Maverick cocked his head and grinned.

Tom gritted his teeth, letting go of the last scrap of self control, “God damn you, Mitchell.”

He grasped the shorter pilot by the shoulders and kissed him hard enough to bruise.

Part of him, despite it all, was still expecting Maverick to flinch back in disgust, to shove him back and look at him the way all the other guys had, like there was a world of difference between them and him. Even if it had been them who’d pushed him onto his knees in the first place.

But Maverick only grinned into the kiss, like this was a triumph, gasping, “Forget God. I was kinda hoping you’d have the honour of damning me, Kazansky.”

“Showers,” Tom said firmly, giving Maverick a shove in that direction.

They were alone here, as far as they could tell, but there was no sense in being stupid. Guys like them didn’t survive by being stupid. Plus Tom knew he probably stank. So he yanked Maverick down to the stall furthest from the door and turned the water on high, looking to fill the small, tiled space with the sound of drumming water and some forgiving steam. But he was close enough to hear Maverick undressing behind him, fabric dropping to the floor, dog tags rattling lightly, movements urgent and shameless.

It wasn’t as if Tom hadn’t seen Maverick without his clothes on before, if you were in someone’s squad, you’d see their dick and that was just the way the Navy went. But the way the guy was just tossing his gym shirt and shorts aside like they were just dressing down after a hop, like there was nothing unusual about this. Like this had all been inevitable. Like he’d been thinking about Tom as much as Tom had been thinking about him.

Except Maverick hadn’t been torturing himself over it. Maverick had just gotten in his face and done something about it.

That thought was knocked out of Tom’s head as he was shoved under the water, still wearing his shorts. Thankfully he’d been standing there like an idiot long enough that the old pipes had finally started sputtering out warm water. So at least he wasn’t freezing as Maverick span him and pressed his back against the cubicle wall.

“What are you…” Tom blinked in confusion, watching Maverick sink onto his knees.

Maverick’s eyes narrowed, “You’re not familiar with the concept of a blowjob, Kazansky? You sure looked like you knew what one was when you were eating ice cubes at me in the O Club.”

Tom huffed out an irritated breath, “I’m not familiar with guys pulling me into showers to give rather than get.”

He wasn’t sure why he said that. There was no reason to tell Maverick that his experiences in the navy had never moved much beyond his high school ones, quick flashes that were never worth the shame that rushed in as soon as they were over, men wanting very specific parts of Tom and disregarding everything else about him, like he was a carcass they were dividing up. They wanted his hands but told him not to speak so they wouldn't hear his deep voice. They wanted his willing mouth but closed their eyes. They wanted his trustworthy silence and not to meet their eye in the locker room the next day, they wanted him to know the very simple rules of this and stick to them. They were never hooking up with him, he was just a body for them to put whatever face or hands or voice they wanted over his own.

Tom wasn’t sure why he said that. And he wasn’t sure why it should be any different with Maverick.

But Maverick just gave a derisive snort and wrinkled his nose, “What kind of major league assholes have you been taking to bed?”

He pulled down Tom’s sodden shorts, grinning at the erection that nearly smacked him in the face, “Fuck. Good to know you’ve got something to back up that smug grin, huh?”

“I got plenty,” Tom bared his teeth at him, curving his body a little more so the shower spray broke against his back, shielding Maverick from it.

But droplets still hung heavy in his eyelashes and his hair, clinging to the dark strands and making them shine. Between that and the sharp angles, the glitter in his eyes, he could have been half obsidian, like if Tom reached down and touched him, he might cut his fingers. But he reached down anyway, rewarded by the soft touch of his cheek, feeling his smile in the sweep of his jaw. After the chaos in his brain a few seconds ago, there was something oddly still about this moment. The steady sureness of a decision made with no way to turn back.

“Sure…wanna see what I got?” Maverick smirked, before leaning in and licking up the underside of Tom’s cock.

He inhaled sharply, that line of foreign warmth burning its way along him, “Yes…”

Maverick’s delighted laugh was lower, rougher, cut short as he kissed up and down the considerable length of him, focusing on the head, that spot that made Tom’s vision blur. He toyed with him, something playful in how he warmed him up, in how he let his breath run hot along his skin, in how he got him wet and slick with spit. Like he wanted to hear something and knew he could tease it out of Tom.

And Tom wasn’t about to disappoint him.

“Oh god, please,” Tom moaned, his grip on Maverick’s hair tightening as the other pilot’s hands went wandering between his thighs, “Mav…”

“Something wrong, Kazansky?” he nearly purred, voice smug and breathy. His fingers were still moving.

“You know damn well what,” Tom growled, feeling every nerve in his body thrumming like an out of tune instrument, everything Maverick was doing so much, yet not enough.

“No, no, if you’ve got a critique, I wanna hear it…” Maverick was somehow finding a way to grin and run his teeth along his cock in one smooth motion, “You’ve never been shy about it with my flying.”

“Thats a completely different thing and you know- oh god, come the fuck on, Mitchell.”

With a bark of borderline evil laughter, Maverick finally gave Tom what he needed, taking everything he could into his mouth and wrapping a tight fist around what he couldn’t. After teasing him so effortlessly, he suddenly became too generous, using every trick in whatever book guys like them built up over the years. He hollowed his cheeks, he swirled his tongue, his free hand caressed Tom’s thighs in a way that relaxed those muscles for what had to be the first time in years. Tricks that Tom knew but probably couldn’t execute as well, not that he’d ever be admitting that to Maverick.

Though he felt like he was admitting enough, his body not releasing he had a reputation to uphold in this rivalry that was becoming something very hard to define right now. Tom found the pitch of his voice soaring and plummeting without warning, his head tipping back so the water ran down his face in sheets but he couldn’t make himself care. Almost like if he drowned here, it would be worth it.

The noises coming out of him, the sighs and moans and bitten off curses, he could feel himself wanting to be embarrassed by them, like a muscle reflex. But Maverick’s hands on his balls, his thumb running up his dick, his teasing teeth kept Tom rooted in place. The little voice in the back of his mind that always whispered to him in moments like this, telling him this could ruin everything, had shut up for once. It felt more like a fist drawn back than any real relief but right now, he’d take it.

Tom held out as long as he could, clinging to every single second, because god only knew what was going to happen when this ended. But with Maverick sucking him off with the same infuriating competence he flew with, with the same reckless abandon, he couldn’t even be completely certain how long it had been before he was at the edge.

“Mitchell…” he managed to turn the gasps and moans and growls pouring from him into something like words, “Mitchell.”

Maverick didn’t slow, eyes flashing up at him like a crooked finger. He only took Tom down deeper, as many inches as he could physically fit, relaxing his throat and inviting him in. Tom’s voice broke first, then the tension in him. The moment he hit the deck, everything closed down, lost to the heat that flooded into him and out of him.

The next thing he could really be certain of was a two beat tune of his ass hitting the tile then the back of his head hitting the wall. Maverick was still on his knees, under the spray now too without Tom to be his umbrella. He was grinning, catching the white that had spilled out of the corners of his mouth, lapping it off his fingers, cat like.

“See? Wasn’t that more fun than fighting?” he hummed, diamond droplets in his hair and on those enormous eyelashes.

He looked too beautiful for words.

Tom realised he hadn’t replied for too long, voice breaking as he tried to, “Does that mean we’re buddies now?”

“Fuck no,” Maverick’s eyes glittered, reflecting the falling water with amusement, “I didn’t say all that shit wasn’t fun. Just that this is more fun. God, I’ve been waiting ages to see if you’d punch me in the jaw or fuck me and I’m so glad you went this way, Ice.”

“Yeah, I was waiting to see how things would shake out too,” Tom shifted so he was more comfortable, resting his arms on his knees, “But, technically, I haven’t.”

“Haven’t what?” Maverick paused, folding his legs underneath himself.

“Fucked you. Your place or mine?” Tom felt the corners of his mouth lift.

Maverick brightened so easily, so simply, it was hard to look at. Like flying right into the sun.

“Thought you said this wasn’t going to work, Ice?”

Tom leaned forward, until their lips were brushing, a promise of the kiss he was going to give him.

“Who cares? Like you said, it’s fun.”

Tom knew what a bad idea this was. He knew exactly the size and shape of the pain that was waiting for him on the horizon of it all, how it would hit him with the force of a truck, how he’d probably never be able to run fast enough to get ahead of it.

But Tom couldn’t make himself care. He was more than happy to have Pete Mitchell be his problem.

[pink-heart-jam]

Age Gap Recs - Pt 1

Anyone else craving some good age gap? 👀 this is my kryptonite in fic but due to the usual amount of dub-con in BL I often struggle to find something that checks all my boxes when it comes to manga/manhwa. I decided to compile my favourites in two lists - the first will focus on Koran titles and I’ll follow up with another list of Japanese titles. These are all explicit works (as they should be 🫡) and include different tropes. Most are WIPs so buckle up for the ride! Among the finished works I highly recommend Love for Sale as an incredible thought-provoking and cathartic love story :)

An Abyss by Cha ji-ahn

Kinard has lived for revenge after the incident that took place ten years ago. Despite his longtime friend Raman's worries for him, he and Yesing hid their identities under the alias, "chaff", and strived for revenge. In doing so, he runs into Alvin, who was certain that he was fated to die.

Daily Part Time Job by Danbi

Joo Yeomin is a hardworking college student that works day and night. He's also becoming an expert at running away from the loan sharks. One day, a suspicious man starts showing up at Yeomin's part-time jobs. "We know each other, right?" "No, we don't! Why do you keep following me?"

Love For Sale by Dal Hyeon Ji

Even in his wildest dreams, all Namwoo wants is to have enough money to survive each month. Si-eon, on the other hand, has everything he could ever want except happiness. Intrigued by Namwoo’s humble wishes, Si-eon offers him the money he wants – the catch being, he has to date him.

Lover Boy by Zec

Eunho Jung proposed to Jaeha Yoo, the older boy next door, for the first time when he was three. It stopped being cute when he confessed his feelings again in high school, and once Jaeha got married, the two lost touch. They're reunited by chance years later, Eunho as a university student, and Jaeha, a jaded divorcee. Eunho's determined to prove he’s not a kid anymore, but does Jaeha’s self-destructive spiral allow for feelings?

On or Off by A1

They say all's fair in love... and work?! After joining his friend's startup, university student Ahn Yiyoung never imagined he'd end up presenting their work directly to SJ Corporation, a major company headed by one of the most sought-after talents in the country: Kang Daehyung. It certainly doesn't help that, on top of being a bigshot executive, strikingly handsome Director Kang is his ideal type.

Onward by Hongssona

Swimming prodigy Woo Seungwon, whose very being is vast and endless like the ocean, runs into former a-list singer Doh Si-on. Si-on, now a businessman trying to stay afloat, is doing his best to move forward with his life; but the weight of the world only drags him down, as if he is struggling to crawl through a swamp. Taking an interest in Seungwon, Si-on offers him the opportunity to make some extra money as his housekeeper.

Our Sunny Days by Jeong seokchan

Sung Ho’s not the kind you’d typically expect to settle down in the countryside. He’s in his late 20s, ex-military, and… a single father with a year-old baby. Jobless and without any prospects but a house, Sung Ho hopes the peaceful Nuldongmae village will make a good new home for him and his daughter. Rumor has it that the head of the village, despite his young age, is a real jerk… But he won’t have to deal with that, will he?

Tender Night by Tan

All his life, Sungwon has known that he must follow certain expectations: dress well, be polite, and most importantly…be an alpha. Cruelly born a beta, Sungwon spends his days living a lie, presenting himself as the hardworking, accomplished, recessive alpha he wishes he could be. But once he meets college student-slash-bartender Park Hansol, things start to change.

The Dangerous Convenience Store by Gusao

Danger can come in many shapes and sizes, and the kind of danger Yeo Eui-joon has to deal with comes as buff, brash, and belligerent gangsters. He knew that working nights in a shifty neighborhood wouldn’t be the safest job on the planet, but reality sure does exceed expectations. However, it looks like Eui-joon’s days as the neighborhood punching bag are coming to a close when Gunwoo steps into his small store.

Under the Greenlight: In Dreams by Jaxx

Jin is the most beautiful man Matthew’s ever seen. He’s also a high-ranking and violent criminal full of frustrated ambitions and equally frustrated appetites. But Matthew, a sculpture student prodigy, can only see the beauty—not the darkness. One way or another, Matthew will pay the price for his muse, either with his body... or something far more costly.

[drgrlfriend]

Fic Writer's Showcase Game

I was tagged by @there-must-be-a-lock - thanks!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. <3

First Fic: Full Circle

So, this is how I got into writing fanfic. Someone on a non-fandom message board I was on was a big fan of fanfiction, and I thought, "Wow, I haven't thought about fanfiction since my X-Files days! I wonder what it's like now?" I went to FFN (this was pre-AO3) and the top fandom was Pirates of the Caribbean, which I didn't know much about, and I think the second top was High School Musical, and the third was X-Men. So I read some X-Men stories, especially Wolverine/Rogue, and one of them was a very compelling story about pregnancy loss which ended with a very ambivalent ending -- basically, a phone ringing and you don't know if the character will pick up. My friends, I COULD NOT SLEEP. I had experienced a pregnancy loss in the prior year, and I *had* to write a happy ending to this story. In retrospect, it was the RUDEST thing but I was new to fandom and I didn't know anything. I wrote it in an email and then eventually sent it to the author like a cat dropping a dead mouse in her lap, and she was very kind and encouraged me to post it. And that was ::checks notes:: at least a decade ago. Yikes.

Last Fic:

Chrome-Plated Heart Technically a WIP but it's all completed and is just posting twice a week until it's done. A Winterhawk Marvel Pacific Rim AU.

One-Hit Fandom:

Hope

I am kind of a serial fandom monogamist and once I'm in a fandom I tend to linger for a few years, so I only have one one-off in the Cabin Pressure fandom and it's more of a ficlet. A little Douglas Richardson & Martin Crieff cutscene from St. Petersburg. I don't even know their portmanteau!

Favorite Fic in the Fandom with the Most Works:

Lucky in Love

Wow, I had to check but I'm actually now tied for fandoms -- Marvel and Teen Wolf both have 18 fics each. So, I'll go with Marvel, and Lucky in Love, my first Winterhawk fic. I think it's rare to write a fic and then not want to change much about it a few years down the road, but I still reread this one from time to time and I still really like it! Fic I Wish More People Read:

Quriosity

Hmmm. It seems greedy to say so because it got a great reception, both within the 00Q fandom and just objectively in terms of number of hits, etc., but I feel like there's not as much crossover between the Bond fandoms and others I'm in, so if there's one fic of mine I would encourage people to take a chance and try if they know me from Marvel or Teen Wolf fandoms it's this one. There's a lot of fics in my repertoire that have themes of touch starvation / touch aversion but this one is the mostest.

Fic I Agonized Over the Most:

Freedom's Reach

I'm tempted to say the current fic I'm writing (my selkie!Bucky MTH2022 fic) but I think that's just a tendency to think whatever you're writing now is putting up the hardest fight. Freedom's Reach is my Winterhawk historical AU (e.g. American Civil War era) with mail order bride, and I don't know what I was thinking to write 1.) Inherently uneven power dynamic, which is something I typically dislike 2.) In an era I know nothing about 3.) Requiring frequent misunderstandings which I typically dislike. My poor beta @kangofu-cb is a saint for all the whining and self-doubt she had to put up with as I wondered whether I was walking all those lines.

Fic that Sprang Fully Formed: For Everything There is a Season

So, Google tells me that the Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle happened on November 7th, 2020, which means that within the week I had started posting this fic, and I'm pretty sure I wrote it in one evening. What can I say, I was inspired to think of ... Pierce ... and his ... Restore America's Glory supporters ... getting a pile of manure dumped on him. Go figure.

Proud of for Whatever Reason:

Pretty When You Cry

I am NOT good at writing short, capture-a-pivotal-moment-and-let-it-speak-for-itself fics. As the length of this post attests, I am a prototypical ADHD overexplainer. This fic managed to be short and sweet and intensely smutty but with all the feels somehow crammed in. And then, to overexplain, I had to do a second chapter from the other POV but I like how (to me at least) it doesn't feel repetitive or boring; it's the same events and dialogue but the internal narrative is so different it's still interesting. So, yeah, smutty little feels fic with Winterhawk failing a one-night-stand, check it out. I think between nox and lou most of the Winterhawk regulars already got tagged, so I'm tagging outside the fandom or people I haven't caught up with in awhile so, um ... @flamingo-queen-writes , @drunktuesdays , @pantstomatch, @shatteredhourglass, @1000-directions ... and anyone who wants to do this; I haven't been online for a bit so I'm sure I missed a bunch!

[idkmyblogname]

I'm gonna find you if its the last thing I do

i was walk home with Vance one day and he was very happy and I mean very happy because he just beat is pinball high score. Well it had come that time where me and Vance had to go our separate ways. "Make sure to call me when you get home okay asshole" I said, Vance respond and said "Will do dip shit". We went our separate and i finally got home but after about an hour I didn't get a call from Vance, huh that's funny. Well I thought that he must have juts got tired and went to bed as soon as he got home so i didn't thing anything of it and went to bed. I woke up the next day and I was already late to school damn it you stupid fucking alarm clocks they never work. I got dressed as soon as i could and got to school and thank god I had my first class with Vance but when i got there class had already started and of course i was late damn it.

I decided to ask Matt where Vance was. "Matt do you know where Vance is by chance because i haven't seen him all day' "No i haven't seen him either, maybe he got grounded again" "Yea maybe thanks though" "No problem Y/N". Really even Matt hasn't seen him Vance is always with Matt. I decided not to think about it to much until 5th period. I was sitting in science and the principle had walked in and said that he needed to talk to me for a little bit. When i tell you i had no clue why i mean that.

I went to her office and they stood two officers and they told me to take a seat. "Hi Y/n i'm officer Copper and this is my partner officer Smith we want to ask you a few questions about Vance" "Why what happened to Vance" "Well Vance was kidnapped and everyone says you were the last person he was seen with" "Where were you two right before you went home yesterday" "We were at the grab'n'go he was playing his pinball machine and i was watching" " Okay was he at all acting weird or anything" "No he was plan old Vance Hopper" "Okay well if we have anymore questions we will come back and get you thank you for your cooperation" "Yeah no problem anything to help you guys find Vance"

I walked out of that office and i ran to the bathroom and i broke down i can't believe that my best friend was taken by the grabber. I cried for good half an hour then the bell rang to go to 7th hour, i can't believe i missed a whole class period. I made my self look presentable and went to class. I went home and i cried more and more until i couldn't breath. Next thing i knew i feel asleep and i had the weirdest dream you could ever imagine. I saw him Vance and he was sitting in a basement on a really dirty looking mattress and he was...crying?

I woke up and i realized that i need to go to school. I went to school and just kinda kept my head down the whole day because by now everyone knew that Vance had been taken and everyone kept asking if me and Matt were okay because we were his closest friends. During 5th period everyone was called down to the gym for an assembly. They talked about setting a curfew for the town to make sure that no one else got taken. At the end of the assembly i decided to tell the officers about my dream i had about Vance. They sat me down and had me describe what the basement looked liked. "This is all really good information miss Y/n because Gwen Blake came in saying she also had a weird dream saying she could see Vance sitting in a basement on a dirty mattress" " She did, did she see anything else like the house or maybe caught an address" "I'm sorry but unfortunately that kind of information is not to be shared with anyone else" "Not to be rude but i think that i deserve to know because i am like one of Vance's only friends and i'm worried sick about him so please please tell me" "Miss Y/n i'm sorry but i can't, if i could i would really but i juts can't. "Fine whatever you ass hats don't tell me but i will find something and when i do i'm going after that son of bitch who took Vance."

After I got home from talking to the officers it was already pretty late like around 10-ish so i got dressed for bed brushed my hair and teeth ect. When i was done i climbed in bed and i did one thing i never thought i would do i prayed. I prayed that Vance would be safe and that i could find him...alive hopefully. After about 10 minutes of trying to find a comfy position i finally fell asleep and i had another dream but this time i was riding on a bike down a street that look very familiar and then all of a sudden the bike stopped in front of a house that i know i have definitely seen before then it hit me i pass this street and house every day to walk home. I went and walked around the house and found a small window like looked down into a basement, the same basement i saw in my other dream and there he was Vance sitting on the same old dirt mattress. I woke up in a panic and i ran to the phone and called the police. By the time they arrived it was already early 9 in the morning and i drove in their car fr a good 10 minutes to the house i saw in my dream. In the car ride i explained what my dream was about. " I saw the house this exact house in my dream and i saw a little window that you can peer into and see the basement and i saw Vance" "Okay miss Y/n just tell us when you see it" " Stop its right here" " You heard her go get the boy go get Vance"

I sat there by the side of the road for a good 10 minutes and then i saw him the person i had missed for so long. I ran up and hugged him, this is the hug i have been waiting for for 4 days now and yes he smelled and look disgusting but i didn't care i just needed to be in his embrace. 'Vance i thought i was gonna lose yo- and i that i was cut off by Vance kissing me and that kiss lasted a little bit. When he finally pulled away he said "You're never gonna lose me Y/n and i wanted to tell you that i liked you for so long but i never had the confidence to do it because i was...scared of rejection" "Well i'm telling you that you don't need to be scared of rejection anymore because i like you too Vance" and with that he kissed me again and this time the kiss was full of passion and love. Never thought that i would actually end up with the guy i like.

[multifandomrandomgirl]

I'll Hold Your Hand - Razzle x f!reader

Wordcount: 1120

Masterlist

-----

The first time that Y/N met Razzle Dingley was by pure chance. She’d been dragged out by her friend, Ruth, to a small venue in London which hosted rock bands. As much as Y/N grumbled and complained about having to go out, she couldn’t help but be excited by the live music. Tonight it was Hanoi Rocks who were playing.

Y/N and Ruth arrived at the venue about half an hour before they were due to be on stage. The pair tried to blend in with the crowd but Y/N felt out of place amongst the over-enthusiastic fans. Ruth had wandered off at some point which left Y/N standing at the bar alone with a pint in her hand.

The opening act wrapped up their set and the energy in the room seemed to get more intense as the lights dimmed and Hanoi Rocks entered the stage.

From the opening chord of ‘High School’, Y/N felt a spark of excitement and was completely entranced and enthralled by the band. The energy they had was infectious and Y/N couldn’t help but sway along to the music, no matter how hard she tried to stop herself.

It was the drummer, Razzle Dingley, who caught Y/N’s eye. His big, dopey smile, bright clothes and exuberant performance captivated Y/N’s gaze throughout the entire performance. He was a stark contrast to Y/N’s more reserved personality. Razzle was like a ray of sunshine.

The set finished all too quickly and Y/N found herself standing at the bar, wanting more from the band that had just cleared off of the stage. Y/N’s friend reappeared and was rambling about the band, she muttered something about wanting to meet them and so Y/N reluctantly agreed to stay at the venue a bit longer. Ruth grinned and dragged her towards a door that was clearly labelled ‘Performers only’.

In the performers corridor, it was chaos. There were people and pieces of equipment everywhere. Ruth managed to navigate her way through it, dragging an apprehensive Y/N behind her. They eventually found Hanoi Rocks.

Razzle was even more charismatic in person, his dopey smile was now more of a wat, and gentle smile. He greeted Y/N with a wink which made her heart skip a beat or two, even if she wouldn’t admit to it.

“Enjoy the show?” Razzle asked, his voice upbeat and happy.

Y/N nodded, she suddenly felt self-conscious and shy. “Yeah, you guys were brill.”

“Glad to hear it!” He grinned, eyes twinkling. “You looked like you were having a lot of fun tonight. I could see you from behind my drums.”

“I guess, I must have gotten caught up in the moment.” Y/N smiled shyly, blushing a little.

Ruth had walked off again, leaving Y/N alone with Razzle. They spoke for ages, he was genuine and interested in getting to know Y/N. He asked her question after question about her interests, her life and anything he could think of.

As the night went on, Y/N found herself letting her guard down around him. Eventually, the crowd started to disperse and Y/N realised it was time to leave.

“It was lovely meeting you.” Y/N smiled sadly, not wanting the evening to end.

“You too, maybe I’ll see you around?” Razzle grinned. “Perhaps at another show?”

“Maybe.” Y/N said, she wasn’t sure whether or not she’d ever have the courage to attend another show.

Razzle sensed her hesitation and smiled.

“Hey, before you go… I wouldn’t mind holding your hand – I guess.” Razzle said in a softer, more shy and sincere tone.

“What?” Y/N blinked in surprise, her heart racing.

“Just for a moment? Please?” He held his hand out to her, he was smiling more shyly now. 

Y/N hesitated for a moment before she reached out and took Razzle’s hand. His grip was reassuring and she felt a sense of relief wash over her.

The room around them faded into the background, leaving them standing in a bubble, mesmerised by each other.

“Not so bad, eh?” Razzle gave Y/N’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Not so bad.” Y/N confirmed.

The moment ended way too soon and Y/N reluctantly let go of his hand. Razzle gave her a quick hug and promised to look out for her at future shows.

As she left, Y/N felt a warmth inside her that hadn’t been there before. Razzle’s sunny personality had pierced a hole in her cloudy personality and Y/N found herself excited to see the drummer again.

A few weeks passed by slowly and Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about that night. Every time she heard a Hanoi Rocks song on the radio, she felt a sharp twinge of longing. Y/N never got caught up on a guy, ever. But Razzle had changed something inside of her.

One day, Ruth came over, squealing in excitement. Hanoi Rocks were back in town. This time, Y/N didn’t hesitate to attend. She even found herself marking off the days leading up to the gig on her calendar in excitement.

At last, the night of the concert arrived, Y/N and Ruth arrived early to ensure they got a spot at the front, right by the stage. When Hanoi Rocks finally appeared on the stage, Razzle’s smile lit up the whole venue and Y/N felt a weird surge of happiness.

Throughout the gig, Y/N kept catching Razzle’s  eye, causing him to grin wider. When the show ended, Y/N let Ruth drag her backstage again, her heart was pounding.

“You came back!” Razzle spotted Y/N almost immediately, his smile wider than ever.

“Of course I did.” Y/N smiled back at the drummer.

“I’m glad you came back, I’ve been thinking about you nonstop.” He moved closer to her, his eyes sparkled with joy.

“R…really?” Y/N asked, blushing slightly.

“Really.” Razzle said. “I was hoping we could hang out some more. Get to know each other better.”

“I’d like that.” Y/N said softly, it felt as if her heart might explode at any given moment.

“How about we go for a walk?” He grinned. “I wouldn’t mind holding your hand. Again.”

Y/N laughed and held out her hand for him to take. “I’d like that.”

They left the venue hand in hand, chattering away. Razzle’s sunshine became a part of Y/N as he kissed her cheek on the walk home to her apartment.

In that moment, Y/N had never been so grateful for Ruth forcing her to go out.

She had Razzle now, and that’s all that mattered.