#my life is tied to other people and what theyre able to help me with and so i dont have many options and its

[readymades2002]

having a bad enough time that i am looking at what performances are scheduled for the ballet+opera near me and fantasizing about going on my own and having a nice time. which is maybe a normal thing for people with jobs to do but as i am a shut-in who has trained myself to stop having earthly material desires like tickets to performing arts things or any say over what my life looks like whatsoever is a dire sign

[magical-glimpse]

Hi Miaro, it's probably a stupid question but I wanted to ask you this because I feel like you are very great with tarot/intuition etc. so, for example, if a person is not destined to have a future husband (or in general be in a romantic relationship) how is it possible to still be able to do readings about it?

Ofc someone can choose to not marry or not to be in a relationship etc. but sometimes you simply don't meet someone and consequently don't start a relationship.

And ofc (in my opinion) this starts from a base that is destiny, For me I believe a little in destiny for general things and this is one of them.

I hope you understood what I meant because unfortunately english is not my 1st language so sometimes it can be hard to explain things (in this case even more because I'm confused too lol)

Have a good day!

Hi ! This is a fantastic question, and don't worry about your english ! :)

Basically, when you reach for the energy of a "FS", you realize the concept of "future spouse" is tied to other concepts that plays into the way you read them. For starters:

Time ( because you read more or less in the future)

Spouse, therefore marriage, so either love, matrimony, arrangement etc

Commitment, especially long-term

So, ideally, when you search for someone's future spouse, you would be looking for someone they are likely to marry and/or have a long-term relationship with, especially a romantic relationship. Now, how can you be certain that such a person even exists ? You can't really, and that is what can make it so tricky !

Now, depending of how old the person you are reading for is, what they are looking for, in what stage of their life they are etc... The "person" you are reading for could be :

someone they are currently in a relationship with, because logically, someone you are currently dating is someone you are slightly more likely to marry

an "ideal type", the kind of people they want to marry, or the kind of people they attract or are compatible with

someone they have strong feelings for, someone they would like to marry, who has traits in common with the previously mentioned ideal type

someone they are "destined" to marry, someone they are most likely to marry in their current circumstances

So, let's say I am reading for someone who does not have a specific destiny set with a certain person to "marry" or have a long-term relationship with, what will I end up reading ?

I could be reading what "type" of people their guides would really want them to marry, because it is in their highest good

I could be reading the type of people they are most likely to marry, because that is the general type of people they are hanging out with, they are going on dates with, they have around them in their everyday life, that fits their personality etc

I could be reading the person they are most likely to marry currently, which could be their current partner, someone they have their eyes on etc

Most people don't have a set destiny. Some people guides have a few people in mind that they would love their humans to marry. Most people i read for are young, so usually it comes out more as a "type", except for the few who are living a chidlhood best friends to lovers story lol. Older people I read for usually know better what they are looking for, so the reading either fit someone they currently have their eyes on, or someone who is more or less close to come into their life bc they made the necessary growth and know theyre the shit and what they deserve. So, as a reader, a part of your job is recouping that information with the guides of the querent in order to give them the most useful and accurate answer to their question. I hope it helps !!

[cutelanguagestuff]

My Favourite Youtube Channels for Studying Languages 🌷

 - innerFrench -

innerFrench is a channel ran by Hugo Cotton, a French teacher situated in Poland. Hugo is a native French speaker and speaks only in this language on his channel - you will never hear a word of English! Even when he explains the meanings of more obscure French words, he still uses French to both convey the word’s meaning, and enable his viewers to continue practicing their comprehension skills. The French Hugo uses is slow, clear and easy to understand for intermediate speakers. Begginners will also find this channel useful as a way to immerse themselves in the language. Hugo focuses on explaining different aspects of French culture in his videos, with a foreign target audience in mind. Since he is both a French teacher, and has had to learn Polish, it’s fair to say that Hugo understands the struggles of learning a foreign language and so is able to help his viewers improve their French skills in a suitable way. This is by far my favourite channel for learning French and I truly believe it has helped me a lot over the years!

- The Purple Palace -

The Purple Palace is a channel ran by Shayna Klee, an artist from the US who moved to Paris for art school. She makes videos in both English and French, often combining the two. When she speaks in French, she always includes English subtitles so that beginners don’t feel lost. Most of Shayna’s videos are vlogs in which she talks about art (which is incredible btw), fashion, French lifestyle / culture and her own personal life. She is quite open about her personal life which definitely makes her viewers feel more close to her as a person. What makes Shayna’s channel so unique is her artwork. I have never seen anything like it before! Seeing her creations makes learning French so much more enjoyable. If you love art or French culture you must explore this channel!

- Easy German -

This is my favourite channel to use for learning German. The hosts of Easy German just seem so sweet and every video puts me in such a positive mood. The Easy Languages network make videos on a range of languages (German, Spanish, French, Italian, Catalan, Polish, Greek, English, Russian, Turkish and many more) and the main premise of their videos is to “learn from the streets”. Most of their videos consist of street interviews with native speakers on various topics. This, of course, is a great way of learning because you get to hear conversational phrases, different accents and see different parts of the world. What makes Easy German so special is definetely the hosts. The channel has several hosts but the two main ones seem to be Cari and Janusz who just seem so lovely. Idk why but it seems like everyone they interview is always so friendly and sweet. It definetly breaks the stereotype that Germans are cold and distant. Easy German also make videos about grammar, vocab and any other things about German which they feel are important to point out. Another thing about this channel is that they don’t just focus on Germany - they also have videos situated in Austria and videos that talk about Swiss German and Austrian German.

- Spanish After Hours -

This channel reminds me of innerFrench as the host (Laura) speaks only in Spanish. Like Hugo from innerFrench, Laura uses a clear, slow register that makes it very easy for intermediate speakers to comprehend. Laura is a native Spanish speaker from Spain and so, if you are looking to speak Castilian Spanish, her accent is perfect to take inspiration from. Her videos are usually shorter than those at innerFrench which might help viewers who find it hard to concentrate for long periods of time. Laura’s videos are very diverse. In some she reads Spanish children’s stories, in others she does ASMR and sometimes she focuses on vocabulary. Nevertheless, her videos are always enjoyable and have definetly helped me with my Spanish listening skills recently.

- Parpalhon Blau -

This channel focuses on the Occitan language which is definetly a language which has very few learning resources. Occitan is a minority language, referring to several dialects spoken in Southern France, Monaco, Northern Spain and Western Italy. It is a romance language which has very close ties to Catalan. On Parpalhon Blau (which means blue butterfly), Gabrièu teaches his viewers how to pronounce Occitan words and helps them to improve their listening skills, catering for both beginners and intermediate learners. Before finding this channel, I had never even heard of Occitan but after hearing how beautiful it sounds, I just had to subscribe. Often with smaller languages like Occitan, the learning resources are very limited and the ones that do exist aren’t really the best quality. Parpalhon Blau however, is a great channel and the perfect introduction to the language.

- Langfocus -

On Langfocus, Paul makes videos surrounding an incredible range of languages. He has videos on almost every language I can think of! the chances are, if you are studying a language, Paul will have made a video about it. I genuinely cannot understand how one person can know so much about so many languages. Most of his videos focus on individual languages or dialects, however, he also has some very interesting ones in where he compares two languages together, highlighting the differences and similarities between them, whilst also explaining the reasons behind this. In each video, Paul aims to give a good overview of the language, discussing it’s origins, pronounciation, alphabet and grammar. Sometimes these videos can be a bit overwhelming if you don’t know anything at all about the language so I mostly use his videos to learn more about languages I am already studying or as an introduction to a language I want to study in the future. 

- JuLingo -

This channel is quite similar to Langfocus in the way that Julie mostly focuses on a different language per video, offering a general overview of it. Julie tends to focus on smaller languages, like Ainu and Basque that people may not know a lot about rather than more popular languages like Spanish and French. Julie’s channel is a great way of exploring new languages that you may have never thought to learn before. Like Paul from Langfocus, she doesn’t just talk about grammar and sentence structure, she also includes information on the language’s origins, which I personally find fascinating. 

- Ecolinguist -

On Ecolinguist, Norbert challenges native speakers of different languages to try and understand a language foreign to them. Through these experiments, he reveals how similar and how different languages are to one another. Usually, he chooses speakers of the same language family as the language which they are listening to and, being a viewer, you are invited to test yourself too. As a native English speaker, I particularly enjoyed discovering how much Old English I could decipher but also since I speak intermediate French and Spanish, I was able to test myself against Latin, Italian, Romanian and Lombard too. Since Norbert is Polish, he also makes videos focused on learning Polish, mostly regarding speaking and listening. Another series Norbet has is his guess the language challenge, in which a guest is presented with audios of language from anywhere in the world and has to guess it. Although I am very bad at these theyre always fun to watch. Its incredible how skilled his guests are!

[mokutone]

sasuke

YESSSS! sasuke yelling time.

explanation for the drawing in my answers ajdjanxkajjd

favorite thing about them —despite everything. when he is most himself, he doesn't want to hurt people if he doesn't have to. he can't bear to kill him, he tells team taka that they aren't to kill anyone, he's had an immense amount of trauma done to him, and he knows the weight of it, and if he can avoid doing that to somebody else, it seems he wants to.

least favorite thing about them —uhh my least favorite thing about him is also my least favorite thing about gaara. and a couple other characters in naruto. it's really hard for me to watch kids be in desperate pain and practically begging for help in a situation where nobody seems able or willing to help them. for a lot of sasukes parts in the anime i'm just like averting my eyes lmfao

favorite line —I think I'll pick the most impactful line. Idk if I'd call it my favorite.

you know the bit where kakashi ties sasuke to the tree? absolutely fucking humiliating him and then on top of that, telling him that his quest for revenge, LITERALLY sasuke's fucking ninja way (for all its many many problems!!!!), is useless and meaningless? and how sasuke gets that nasty look on his face and he says: "What if I were to kill the one you love most? How far would you stray from what you just said? I could make you feel true pain." and that line just fucking kills me. i am inconsolable. obviously Kakashi takes it as a threat from a child and brushes it off as one—but it's not! he's quite literally begging for understanding. he's like, if i could just hurt you as much as i've been hurt, maybe you would understand me! maybe this is the only way anyone could ever understand me! maybe then you wouldn't tell me how useless and stupid this one thing, the thing which i have built my life around, is!!! but kakashi doesn't give him that. lol. kakashi's like "well there's no way i'd ever be in that situation bc i there's nobody left who matters to me ,^)" like. great job dude. you had the witty comeback against the child. also told him that you do not care about him or his friends at all. you won the trauma game. congratulations. your prize is unfortunately dealing with your guilt complex around this for the next 6 years when you have to go to war against him. jesus fucking christ. Sasuke was trying. he was fucking trying! despite everything, he was trying, with the one adult he trusted enough to even ATTEMPT explaining himself to. ugh. whatever. i'm normal and i have normal feelings about things. i'm normal. i'm so fucking normal. jesus christ.

brOTP —this is unhinged for me, bc i normally answer these based on characters canon relationships, but i am so fucking desperate for yamato to interact with sasuke. i want it so bad. i have so many ideas. i think that yamato would be very useful to sasuke in his recovery. i hate kishimoto and i hate knowing that this will never happen.

OTP —i don't really care about this kind of thing! naruto, i guess, because naruto is the person sasuke seems to care the most about thruout the course of the narrative, and also because my best friend wuvs them

nOTP —i don't really care about this kind of thing. sakura, maybe. it doesn't really matter to me.

random headcanon —his life skills are atrocious and everyone in his close circle of companions is worried about him when he returns to konoha. Yamato starts giving him cooking lessons (Yamato is also an amateur at this. theyre both learning),

which are unfortunately the trigger for minor and unnoticeable but very regular panic attacks for Sasuke. He's like, having a very hard time believing that anyone could really forgive him, and his ONLY interaction with yamato before this was literally jamming a sword through his shoulder joint and running straight electricity through it. Why would Yamato, who didn't even know him before he ran off, forgive him for that? What does Yamato get out of this situation? When does Yamato reprimand him for the pain he caused? When does the other boot drop? When does he find out what this is all about?

This goes on, increasing Sasuke's tension slowly and steadily until Yamato accidentally triggers a major panic attack (he drops a pot, and Sasuke is so wound up at this point that the sudden metal clang itself is enough to put Sasuke right over the fucking edge) and suddenly it all comes into focus for Yamato, who realizes "oh, this kid isn't just unnaturally stiff all the time, he's actually scared shitless of me, and was only putting up with these cooking lessons because he clearly feared the repercussions of saying he didn't want to, to somebody so embedded in his social circle. fuck."

Trying to make this better, he then takes to inviting Naruto over so that Sasuke has a little bit of a social buffer between him and Yamato. Eventually all of team kakashi + team seven is trying to fit into Yamato's tiny jōnin apartment weekly for free food and entertainment (the entertainment is teasing each other).

unpopular opinion —i like him? and i don't think he's over dramatic. i think he's a fairly realistically written character (up until the end i guess stuff gets weird there) because he's mostly a reactive one, and Kishimoto excels at writing little traumatized guys having intense reactions to things. It's what he likes to do and hes pretty good at it.

song i associate with them —Baby, I'm an Anarchist by Against Me! solely for this line.

No, I won't take your hand And marry the State.

like. skdghskdghsdjhgsdhjgsdjhg

favorite picture of them

i literally use this all the time. i think things should be easier. i would like for sasuke to be able to pick up that glass of water.

[skeetusmcyeetus]

I’ve making headcanons about all of my hyper fixations for a while now and just dumping them on my friends so I’m gonna also dump them here.

If you’re into All For the Game , My Hero Academia, ATLA, The Raven Cycle stay fuckn tuned my doods bc I have a loooot of stuff rattling around my empty skull.

Not all of these are 100% mine some of them are already pretty popular and I’m expanding on them or I heard something similar and edited it to my own tastes

I’ll separate them by series,,,

Theres like one canon that’s mildly nsfw

TW: drug abuse

Mha/Bnha

pro hero kirishima’s Red Riot™️ merch is insanely size inclusive bc he wants fatgum to be able to wear the hoodie that kiri’s pr team sent him but that’s not all,,

If he wasn’t super gay and in love with Bakugou he’d be very Into BBWs so again his merch is super size inclusive bc he wants everyone to be able to wear it

The company that makes the merch also takes requests for special made merch for people who’s quirks interfere with a “normal” size or dimension

ALSO ,,,,this man(kiri) is built like a fuckn MACK TRUCK OKAY he is 6’7” and cannot fit through doorways without ducking and turning a little to the side ,,, he is broad And still wears no shirt™️ ,,, this being said ,, bakugou is still around 5’8” and pretty slim don’t get me wrong he’s extremely strong and toned but he’s not huge,, it makes flying easier if he stays a little lighter ,,,,,,, the point is,, sometimes kiri will pick up bakugou with one arm and bakugou can’t even pretend to hate it anymore

Also,,,, fatgum has to use special pens and keyboards because of how big his hands are,,, he’s literally 8’2” I won’t take criticism on this

Fatgum actually loves wearing red riot and sun eater merch

Allmight and Inko start dating and one day when they’re out someone comments on how much all might “looks like a skeleton” and she absolutley lets loose on them for being so vapid and shallow and how “he’s risked his life to save people like you more times than you have ever even thought about being helpful in your life and it would serve you well to treat someone who’d die for you without even knowing you with more respect”

All might had to gently pull her away bc the guy was crying and she wasn’t anywhere near finished with him

Midnight is Asexual and aggressively pretends to be horny on main™️ because for one, it works with her quirk and two, nothing sells better than sex especially when you’re a woman.

Bakugou and kirishima use sign language to talk shit at Public events

Dabi is addicted to painkillers because he’s been on them his entire life,, he wakes up with the shakes and sometimes toga has to help him take his meds in the morning because he’s already in withdrawal

Tensei was the first one to realize that iida was autistic and immediately did copious amounts of research on ASD and how to be a good brother to him

ATLA

sokka grows his hair as long as Zuko’s (except the sides obvi) and sometimes he’ll wear his hair in the fire nation top knot and zuko loses it every time

Azula gets help and now sometimes when she wakes up with the sun after a night of fitful sleep she goes to the courtyard to have tea with iroh. They never talk, but then again they never need to.

Sometimes after a hard day sokka falls asleep in the bathtub and wakes up to zuko warming the water back up and washing his hair for him

Suki lounges in zukos throne while zuko gets worked up about stuff and paces all around the room

Mai is on the ace spectrum

When sokka and zuko visit the southern water tribe zuko will firebend for the all of the kids in the village,,, they love him so much and sometimes sokka gets a little teary eyed watching him

Sokka braids zukos hair water tribe style and it’s the hottest thing maybe ever

Zuko takes sokka on shopping sprees pretty frequently and sokka fuckn loves it

One time someone has the nerve to call sokka “the fire lords sugar baby” and sokka just flips his ponytail over his shoulder Ariana style and says “and what about it?”

The Raven cycle

Ronan has 100% killed Robert Parrish in his dreams and when he wakes up to see Adam next to him he almost immediately wants to go back to sleep and do it again for all the pain he’s caused Adam

Gansey is oblivious to the fact that he is indeed shredded,, when he gets really worked up he moves his arms a l o t like rolls up his sleeves, crosses and uncrosses his arms and The gang’s favorite is when he puts his hands on his head and subconsciously flexes,,,, literally entire gangsey will group swoon at him and he genuinely thinks they are marvelling at his passion for whatever he’s worked up about

Ronan watched broke back mountain once when he was like 16 and now all he can think about is being a gay cowboy ,,,

Adam will read people’s tarot wrong if theyre douchebags

Don’t you think it’s funny that the ganseys don’t have any straight children?

Blue has a T-shirt from each member of the gangsey (except Noah,, rip Noah) and shes created a terrible Franken-T-shirt by ripping them up and sewing them all back together in an extremely ugly patch work thing

Adam talks in Latin in his sleep and it really freaks his roommate out,, like a lot,, not to mention the fact that Adam already creeps him out to begin with bc he’s got that other vibe that comes from being tied to cabeswater and lindenmere ,, 6 out of 7 days his roommate is convinced that he’s a witch or a fairy or something

Ronan teaches opal how to bake and opal burns everything on purpose

aftg

Neil has definitely killed multiple people to survive

Neil’s mom definitely made him kill someone at least twice to make sure he could kill to survive on his own if they got separated

he probably definitely still has nightmares about each one

Matt and Dan both had a crush on Neil for like 30 seconds and absolutely talked to each other about him

Ppl always talk about how hot it is to crush a watermelon with your thighs,,,, Andrew could do it with his arms

Aarons ass is so flat and Andrew has an absolute dumptruck

Kevin started out as one of those annoying “obsessed with WWII” history guys and now he’s actually very into queer history and will rant about the lavender scare for an hour if you let him

The foxes lounge room(?) has a dart board with riko’s face on it to this day,, they literally have a drawer full of copies the same image of riko and every time one gets worn out they put a new one up. It’s more of an inside joke now but wymack still hates that little puke even though he’s dead so it stays up

Post-canon Neil gets drunk and teaches the team how to steal a car by hot wiring Matt’s truck

Matt does drag for halloween one year and Dan liked it a little too much *cough cough* she pegged him while he was still in drag

Someone once asked Renee if she was “saving herself for marriage like a good Christian girl should” and Allison knocked them out cold and stepped over the body

Neil calls Aaron ugly to his face literally any chance he gets (I feel like this one might be canon but I actually don’t know What’s real anymore)

Andrew Unironically wears a pink apron that says “kiss the cook” that Nicky got him for Christmas when he bakes

Okay I think that’s it ? For now?? Let me know if y’all want more,,,,, I’ll separate them next time I just really had to dump these and I didn’t want to make multiple posts.

I made this at 5:30 in the morning sorry if it’s riddled with typos and errors.

[transmasc-wizard]

I have a STS question to offer hello yes,,,

Out of the cast of GFS (or any other WIP if you want to answer for other characters),,,, which TMA fears do you think, for lack of a better term, match best with each character?

Or if that one doesn't work, pls tell me a little about your character creation process b/c I am Intrigued!! (Also not sire if I've asked that before JAJDJF)

HIHIHIHI IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND AN EXCUSE TO WRITE THIS OUT LIKE FOREVER AND EVER THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION

im going to list what theyre most likely to become avatars of. so, like, fears they're susceptible to and have, but also.... and YET.... can't help holding on to/feeling like they Need.

Angel: the End. they're a necromancer, after all. Angel's relationship with death is something that their arc is heavily tied to, in more ways than one.

Bea: the Lonely or the Buried. Bea is so, so afraid of being lonely, and yet she can't manage to bring herself to actually trust people and form lasting, strong relationships. Bea is also being crushed by all the pressures and debts and responsibilities being forced onto her, and she does not know how to escape--not to mention, feels like she isn't allowed to.

Hope: the Vast, in the more metaphorical sense--not the "help fuck i'm falling" way, but the "i am insignificant. I am nothing. i leave no impact on the uncaring universe" way. Hope wants desperately to be able to make a mark on the world, but feels they will never be able to do so.

Corey: I almost said the Web, Vast, or Lonely, and they'd be fair enough choices, but. no, actually. The Eye. He does not want to be watched, he does not want to be known, and at the same time, he MUST know. he's desperate to know, to have all his questions answered, even if it destroys him.

Rowan: this is another one where she could be split equally between two. Before the second half of book 2, it's definitely the Slaughter; she is forced into a life of relentless violence, but fears it all the same. After that, though, the Web (with Slaughter still in there). She must be in charge. She must be in control. She never, ever wants to be used or manipulated ever again. Ever.

Tasya: the Spiral, specifically the fear of the world being wrong, of deception and lies, and illusion. This was always kind of there as a fear of hers, but after literally everything with Rowan, it gets worse.

bonus side characters: Vanya's is the Stranger. He's deeply afraid and mistrusting of things that do not feel quite right, that are almost human but not close enough. Lucian's is the Desolation. It fears the constant pain and loss that haunts it, that it cannot seem to escape. Anya's (ooh!! villain i don't talk about!!) is the Corruption. She fears decay, disgust, unhealthy love. Dwyn's (another villain I don't talk about!!) is the Hunt. Pretty standard hunt stuff, too. Fearing being chased, being the prey instead of the predator.

i would also talk abt character creation but this got too long sdkjfhdsf. anyway this was fun!! and also i will now be obsessively thinking about all my other OCs' TMA fears

[the-original-skipps]

Ok ok, so ik this probably might’ve been asked, but thinking of how mikey is in general - realistically, do you think he’d want to be in a relationship? Bc at some point I think maaaaybe he might, but as he grows older and more detached (due to certain uh stuff, shall we say) etc, he’d either break it off, or kill you.

I just don’t see him lasting long no matter how good you treat him, idk maybe it’s bc I am sorta the same as mikey (closed off, carry sh*t on my shoulders, know what it’s like to act tough, etc, and when you’re in that much pain, you either cling to someone, or you don’t, no in between. Unless you grew up with him since childhood ofc. He just seems so closed off to people it’s almost impossible to imagine him being in a serious relationship for a long ass time.

When I see people write him, they always make him sound so soft, and whilst that’s nice, I can’t help but wonder that everything that’s been said is not true (ik theyre headcanons and not real and stuff, but it’s SO rare to see a realistic version of characters these days in the fan fiction community and it sometimes makes me laugh bc they’re not true ((trust me I WISH they were canon. Our bby deserves all this love we have for him))) idk, I’m salty that the author of TR made the Manga so dang depressing and I just can’t see anyone being happy 😭

But anyway your op would be nice on this! You don’t have to go into detail so don’t feel pressured!

Also I really love your writing!! Please keep doing it! Ik it’s hard to stay motivated but you’re doing awesome :3 ❤️

Ohhh anon I have waiting for something like this ❤ and thank you so much I'm glad you enjoy my writing

Spoilers below 👇

Honestly, I don't think he would want to be in a relationship. Since all the people cares about gets taken away from him, he wouldn't want face that pain again. He mighttt one day like someone but will he pursue it? Only if the other person is a persistent presence in his life. Then he might consider it, gonna take a long time and some good impressions. But for me when Mikey gets into a relationship it won't be any different from being close friends with him. I just don't see him as the type to be all sweet with his potential lover, that's why in my previous asks I keep the pda on the down low like kisses on the hand, a little hand holding, giving you his jacket. That's as far as I can see it, Mikey peppering kisses on his lover's face? NAH I just don't see him doing that. As much as I love reading those headcanons of Mikey it just doesnt sit right with me. I mean they'll be in a "relationship" but Mikey would still keep things to himself and keep up that "strong facade". Never letting them get too close to him.

And yes I agree, at some point he'll realize that he wouldn't be able to keep it up. Eventually as he grows older the more harder it would be to control his "dark impulses". He'll severe all ties with his lover but if they're still persistent then I can only seeing ending one way, a quick bullet to the head. The older he gets the more closed off he gets. Unless Takemichi can do something about it pls Takemichy we're all counting on you to save our boi Mikey 🥺 BUT THINK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE WE WILL GET TO SEE HIGHSCHOOL MIKEY 😉

[snakeningel]

not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.

being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!

even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??

in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!

Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 

rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 

and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing

this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 

in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.

anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Tracks opinions part 2: Virgil

(Here we go again! I think I may have less to say about Virgil’s than Janus’, so I’ll try to make this one shorter)

1) Sunrise, Sunset: This ones about Virgil when he was with the darksides. Virgil is beginning to get tired of his life as a darkside and the monotony of it (“sunrise, sunset, swiftly go the days. Sunrise, sunset you wake up then you undress, it always is the same”). He feels like something is changing in him, but doubts that he will ever be able to escape the routine that he’s been living in for so long (“Because you've changed, Yeah, you've changed” “from a cradle to a casket, there is no way to escape” “The sunrise, the sunsets, you're hopeful and then you regret, the circle never breaks”).

2) Let’s Kill Tonight: Some of Virgil songs can be very vague and it can be hard to pinpoint who the song is focused toward (this is one of them). My interpretation of the song is that this takes place during Virgil’s first appearance with the light sides (“Make room we're taking over here” “Show them all you're not the ordinary type”) Perhaps the dark sides were aware of Virgil leaving and so Virgil’s initial view of the light sides was a bit more spiteful and angry than we thought. With this interpretation I like to assume that it was Janus’ plan to let Virgil out, perhaps in an attempt to get all the dark sides accepted, but it backfired when Virgil realized that the light sides weren’t as bad as he was raised to believe.

3) Sally’s Song: After the last song, this song shows Virgil’s realization that perhaps he does want to be with the light sides. He really cares about Thomas and wants to be with him, but he’s worried about whether or not he’ll be helpful and worthy (“And though I'd like to stand by him, Can't shake this feeling that I have” “And will he see? How much he means to me. I think it's not to be” “All though I'd like to join the crowd, In their enthusiastic loud. Try as I may It doesn't last”)

4) It Ends Tonight: Virgil is starting to be accepted, woot woot (“When darkness turns to light, It ends tonight, it ends tonight” “A weight is lifted on this evening”). Virgil seems to start to feel a lot of anger towards the other dark sides at this point. He feels as if he’s been tricked by them and that Thomas needed him all along (“A falling star, at least I fall alone”). He’s now showing anger and frustration towards the dark sides that really hasn’t been prevalent in the playlist up until this point. I think he’s realized that they’ve either been using him, lying to him, or fooling him (“I look at you with such disdain” “Now I'm on my own side, It's better than being on your side”).

5) I’d Hate to be You When People find out What this Song is About: Now that Virgil is with the light sides, he’s worried that he may not be good enough or helpful enough for Thomas (“Well, I'm thinking of the worst things That I could say to you” “But I'm tongue tied and terrified of what I'll say” And I'm sorry that this wasn't easy, When I asked you believe me” “I could only sing you sad songs”). He’s so worried about hurting Thomas because of his dark side origins that he doesnt understand why Thomas is trying so hard to accept him (“You never let go, But I let go”). He also refrains from telling Thomas about his true past probably out of fear or worry that Thomas won’t want him anymore (“But I never told you everything, I'm losing hope and fading dreams”).

6) A Decade under the Influence: Virgil is anxious™️. Despite how worried he is about his ability to help Thomas, he knows that he has to try and that he has to protect Thomas from the other dark sides (“Well, I've got a bad feeling about this, I've got a bad feeling about this” “To hell with you and all your friends, To hell with you and all your friends” “I’m a nervous wreck”).

7) Thnks fr th Mmrs: HUGE, SASSY middle finger to Janus. Honestly, thats it. Virgil has been fully accepted by Thomas and the light side gang and he is LOVING it. This song is just Virgil rubbing it in Janus’ face how much better off he is without him and the dark sides (“Who does he think he is?” “Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great”). He also flaunts the fact that Patton is a much better parent/authority figure than Janus ever was (“He tastes like you, only sweeter”).

8) Be Calm: This ones cuteeeee. Virgil has been with the light sides for some time now and has begun to understand that he can be helpful to thomas (“As I walk through the streets of my new city, My back feeling much better, I suppose”). The entire song just feels like Virgil helping Thomas through an anxiety attack or some panic of sorts. He relates to Thomas on the feeling and tries his best to help him relax (“I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe” “And be calm. Be calm. I know you feel like you are breaking down. Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes. Be calm.” “Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.” “You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive” “It just gets so hard sometimes”). Theyre starting to bond and finally understand each other and that is just super sweet 💜💜💜.

9) I’m not Okay (I Promise): Honestly... I’m not super sure about this one. It’s another vague one as to who it is aimed toward, but I’m just gonna assume it’s either Thomas or Patton. Virgil is feeling like he isn’t being listened to and needs to be taken more seriously (“I never want to let you down or have you go” “I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means” “I held you close as we both shook for the last time” “You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed” “But you really need to listen to me, Because I'm telling you the truth”).

10) Imaginary: Despite now being a light side, Virgil still worries about the darker sides that are hidden within Thomas (“In my field of paper flowers And candy clouds of lullaby. I lie inside myself for hours And watch my purple sky fly over me”). He knows that they will try to get out at any moment and may be harmful to Thomas, so he has to keep his guard up. (“Don't say I'm out of touch, With this rampant chaos your reality” “I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge” “Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming, Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights”).

11) Soft Shock: Oof guys... I really, really don’t know here. This song is SO romantic that it’s hard to even imagine why it’s on Virgil’s playlist to begin with. There is also a vague “you” referenced like in most of Virgil’s songs and I frankly have no clue who it’s supposed to be. I’ll just list some lines that I think are important and maybe you all could help me figure it out. “Well it's a shock, shock to your soft side” “Summer moon (this is like a period of summer where its very warm and things are in bloom)” “Better, back together” “Catch your shut eyes in my room”.

12) The Good that Won’t Come out: Virgil is still worried about his dark past and how that will affect the others and Thomas. He knows that he needs to tell Thomas, but he’s worried that if he does, Thomas will only be able to see the bad things that Virgil brings with him (“I do this thing where I think I'm real sick, But I won't go to the doctor to find out about it 'Cause they make you stay real still in a real small space As they chart up your insides and put them on display. They'd see all of it, all of me, all of it” “All of the good that won't come out of me And all the stupid lies I hide behind. It's such a big mistake, Lying here in your warm embrace”). He finishes the song out by comparing himself to his past, dark side friends (“Let's talk about all our friends who lost the war” “It's all of the good that won't come out of them And all the stupid lies they hide behind”).

13) Sick Sad World: Again... I’m sorry guys but this song doesn’t seem that deep to me (at least nothing stood out. Basically, all I got is that Virgil knows he makes a lot of mistakes, but he does his best to fix them (“My head's a permanent mess And I can't think for the stress” “I close my eyes and pretend That the ground beneath me has disappeared” “Rewind and overwrite, Hope life begins at twenty-nine”). Virgil also still seems to think that he isn’t being listened to enough and that he isn’t helping as much as he wants to with the light sides (“So what, is this is as good as it gets?” “So won't you let me in”).

14) Ignorance: Another Janus song! Whose shocked? Anyone? Yeah, me neither 😂. But this one is SUPER interesting as it gives us some insight into what Janus and Virgil’s relationship was like before Virgil left. The two seemed to be very close and perhaps had similar pessimistic views on the world (“Yeah, the friends who stuck together. We wrote our names in blood”). Virgil knows that the change in him was for the better and he wants Janus to realize this too, but he isnt about to feel bad for Janus if he refuses to see the truth (“But I guess you can't accept that the change is good” “If I'm a bad person, you don't like me, Well, I guess I'll make my own way” “This is the best thing that could have happened. Any longer and I wouldn't have made it. It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture. I'm just a person, but you can't take it” “The same tricks that, that once fooled me, They won't get you anywhere. I'm not the same kid from your memory, Well, now I can fend for myself”). Now, a line that I’m sure people will see as confirmation of Ignorance being the next side, has a different meaning to me: “Ignorance is your new best friend”. To me, this proves that Ignorance is a part of Janus. Virgil believes that Janus will be stuck in the dark forever because he is ignorant to what the real world brings. Janus is so stuck in his hatred for society and his lack of trust for others that he ignores information that could prove his thoughts wrong. That is ignorance at it’s core, and Janus is being intentionally ignorant to the fact that Virgil becoming a light side was a good thing.

15) The Ice is Getting Thinner: Another song that solidifies that Virgil and Janus were actually friends at one point (“We're not the same, dear, as we used to be. The seasons have changed and so have we”). Virgil knew that him and Janus were growing apart back when he split from the dark sides and he knew it was for the better, but it still hurt him (“There was little we could say, and even less we could do, To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you” “And it saddens me to say, But we both know, well, it's true. That the ice was getting thinner Under me and you”). This perhaps shows that the ill-will between the two is not really due to Virgil hating Janus, but instead a sort of broken heart dynamic. Virgil knew he needed to leave, but Janus may not have been ready and may not have understood why someone he cared so much for would just leave him for the others.

16) Overkill: This one seems fairly straight forward to me. Virgil is scared of the dark sides and the implications their acceptance may have for Thomas. He can feel them lurking close by and is on edge because of it. He wants to protect Thomas from them, but at the same time thinks that he may be overreacting (“I can't get to sleep. I think about the implications” “Especially at night. I worry over situations. I know we'll be alright. Perhaps it's just imagination” “Day after day it reappears. Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away” “Especially at night I worry over situations that I know will be alright. It's just overkill.”

17) Under pressure: This ones a bit hard to decipher, but I’ve got an idea. Virgil really respects and values Patton as one of Thomas’ sides, but the other dark sides seem to disagree. Virgil wishes that they would be able to see Patton in the same way that he does and perhaps then they would be accepted by Thomas (“Watching some good friends screaming "Let me out!"” “Can't we give ourselves one more chance?” “Why can't we give love that one more chance?”). Basically, I think the reason that Virgil was accepted by the light sides was because he understood Patton (love and feelings) and what he means to Thomas. Janus has now shown after being accepted that this could be the case (seeing as he was accepted only when Patton accepted him, the other sides didnt really play a part).

18) Everything is Alright: When reading my thoughts on this song, keep in mind that it is connected to the next song. Virgil basically is very anxious about menial things in life that he shouldn’t be anxious about (“Because I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes, Talking with strangers, waiting in line..”). Virgil doesn’t feel like things are okay and he doesn’t feel safe, but he asks the person in the song to tell him that everything is okay anyways. Now a while back, I remembered Joan mentioning in a livestream that Janus would be the one to lie to Thomas about things being alright even when they’re not, so this got me thinking. Perhaps Janus and Virgil got along so well in the past because Janus would lie to Virgil whenever he was having a panic attack in order to calm him down. Virgil may have found comfort in this as lying to himself may have been the only way to escape his episodes (“‘Someday you'll be fine..’ Yes, I'll be just fine.” “Tell me that you're alright, everything is alright. Please tell me that you're alright, everything is alright.”). Idk It just feels like Janus trying to calm Virgil down to me.

19) The Middle: (remember how I said this was connected to the above song? Yep, keep that in mind) So right after the last song, this song began to play and at first I thought the two songs were basically about the same thing. Virgil is anxious and needs reassured that things are okay. This song seemed to have a different tone though. The speaker is reassuring Virgil, but in a different way. They’re not lying to Virgil and telling him just what he wants to hear, but they are feeling with Virgil and comforting Virgil with truth and honesty (“Hey, don't write yourself off yet. It's only in your head, you feel left out” “Don't you worry what they tell themselves When you're away.” “It just takes some time, Little girl you're in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be alright.” “You know you're doin' better on your own” “Live right now, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough For someone else.” “Don't worry what their bitter hearts Are gonna say”) That’s right. This song is about Patton doing the exact same thing that Janus once did for Virgil only better. Not only that, but he’s reassuring Virgil about his worries regarding the dark sides. That must sting for Janus...

20) Vindicated: I think this song takes place right after Virgil confessed his past to Thomas. He’s scared that Thomas will reject him, but he explains that he’s trying his best to be better for Thomas despite the many flaws he may have (“I am selfish I am wrong. I am right, I swear I'm right. Swear I knew it all along And I am flawed, but I am cleaing up so well”). Despite his fear of rejection he has hope that Thomas will accept him as he’s begun to see things in himself that someone (probably Patton) has seen all along (“Hope dangles on a string, Like slow-spinning redemption” “I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself”).

(And there you have it guys! I realize this one is probably just as long as the last one, so I’m sorry about that 😂. Please let me know your thoughts 💜)

[probably-writing-x]

Admittance Pt.2

Guzmán x Reader

Request by @twoghostsandelowen : Is it gonna be a Admittance part 2? maybe when Andér finds out or something? Please don’t leave me like that, i wanna know what’s happening next ❤️

Requests are open🤍

——————

“Hey, hey, it’s fine, let it out,” Guzmán encourages, rubbing your back as he held back your hair.

He’d been doing this far too often recently as you found yourself being sick at school more and more often. It had been a week since you’d been to the hospital to confirm that you were pregnant and still nobody else knew. You couldn’t even think of telling certain people - your brother being top of that list.

Guzmán pulls out a water bottle from his bag and hands it to you, “Here.”

You smile and take it from him as he pushes himself off from the floor of the girls bathrooms.

“Sorry you keep having to do this,” You comment with a groan as you stand up too.

He laughs a little, “Holding your hair back whilst you’re sick with the fear that anybody could walk into the toilets and see me here? You’ve got nothing to apologise for.”

You roll your eyes and he laughs gently at you, wrapping an arm around you with ease.

“Come on, lets go before first period starts.”

Somehow, you’d managed to make this work for the full week. Guzmán had been texting you non-stop in the evenings to show you different articles he’d found or different blog pages that he thought explained pregnancy well. He’d even shown you articles about ‘how to tell the family’. He’d been there for you as he said he would be, granted it had only been a week. But there was something about the way he watched every single one of your movements in class that convinced you he would last longer than a week.

“Did you get the information through about the appointment?” Guzmán glances over his shoulder as he asks you, making sure the coast was clear before he even mentioned it.

“Yeah, it’s at the start of next week if that’s okay,” You nod, “I was actually thinking that Ander could come with us if-“

“If we’ve told him by then,” Guzmán finishes for you, “That’s a great idea (Y/n), but how are we supposed to tell him this?”

You go to respond just as Ander and Omar begin walking down the corridor towards you.

“Hey, guys,” Ander says with a slight frown at the sight of you two together again.

Guzmán greets him as if nothing is wrong as all four of you walk into class.

- - - - - -

“How come you’ve been spending so much time with Guzmán?” Ander asks you as the two of you wash the dishes from dinner.

“I told you, we’ve just been going through some revision - he’s really set on graduating this year so he’s asking for all of the help he can get.”

Graduating. Would you even be able to graduate anymore?

“Why did he only ask you?” Ander laughs, “If he wanted help, maybe he should’ve asked someone that could actually help him.”

You hit his arm and roll your eyes, “I’m not an idiot Ander.”

“If you say so! I’m heading out with Omar later, you can come with us if you want to? We’re just going for a few drinks,” Ander explains, drying his hands on the towel and handing it to you.

“No that’s okay, I’ll stay here. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” You jab as he leaves to go and get ready.

You find yourself texting Guzmán straight away to say the coast would be clear. Your mother was at a board meeting this evening and Ander wouldn’t be around - perfect time for you two to talk through some things.

- - - - - -

And, as if by clockwork, Guzmán is sat opposite you only a five minutes after Ander and Omar had left.

“Okay, so I figured there’s a lot that we need to talk about so I thought we should just ask each other any questions that we have and just get it all out into the open. You know, no such thing as a stupid question and I-“

“I’ll go first,” Guzmán places a hand on your knee from where he’d mimicked your position of sitting cross legged on the bed, “How are you feeling?”

You take in a deep breath and try to calm yourself, “I’m okay, I’ve eaten a bit more today and actually kept it down. I feel a bit off balance? I didn’t really expect that.”

“I mean there’s another person in your belly, I’m not surprised if that feels a bit weird.”

“It’s not another person,” You roll your eyes, “Theyre only like this big.”

“Okay, okay,” Guzmán smiles, “Your question.”

“How are you feeling?”

He shifts in his position, legs not exactly fitting into crossing like yours did, “Im fine (Y/n), honestly.”

“Did you mean what you said? About being there through it all?”

“I think it’s my turn to ask a question,” He cocks a brow, “Why would you think I wouldn’t mean it?”

You sigh, “It’s a big commitment Guzmán! And in nine months from now, you should be going out into the world and graduating and starting your future. You shouldn’t be tied down to me or to this whole situation just because of one summer.”

“(Y/n), this whole ‘situation’ was because of both of us. The baby might be inside you but it’s still half mine and half yours. I’d be a pretty shitty person if I expected that to mean I’d never have any responsibility. I know I might not be the model guy to have a baby with but I wouldn’t have chosen you either,” He jokes, nudging your leg slightly, “I meant what I said, if that answers your question.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “This is big, Guzmán.”

He frowns mockingly, “I thought you said it was only this big so far.”

You roll your eyes and reach out a foot to jab him in the ribs. He jumps back and laughs, hopping off of the bed and coming round to wrap an arm around you.

“One good thing about having a baby with me - you don’t have to worry about it being ugly,” He points out, “As long as it looks more like me than you.”

You elbow him in the ribs this time as he laughs but still doesn’t release his arm from around you. So the two of you stay like that together for a long time, asking each other different questions whenever they popped into your head - so much so that you don’t even pick up on the time.

- - - - - -

A few hours must have passed when you bolt awake, Guzmán still beside you having fallen asleep too.

“Guzmán,” You hiss, nudging at his sleeping frame to wake him up, “Guzmán!”

He groans and blinks the fatigue out of his eyes, “What time is it?”

“We fell asleep! Ander and Omar will be back any mi-“

As if you’d set off a terrible chain of reactions, you hear as Ander’s key pushes into the door and he comes into your home.

“(Y/n)?” He calls out and it’s like you’re practically following his path through the house to look for you.

Right up until the moment that he’s stood at your doorway. Omar follows behind and the look that you share tells you he knows this doesn’t end well already.

“Is this studying too?” Ander gestures between the two of you sat on the bed, “Seems like you two have been doing a hell of a lot of studying recently.”

“Ander I can explain-“

“Why don’t you both explain yourselves? What’s this? Some secret affair behind my back?” Ander scoffs, “You couldn’t have just told me?”

“It’s not what you think, honestly,” You continue, “Ander please just calm down.”

“Calm down?” He laughs, “You seriously think you two can just be together and not think I’m going to react? You’re fucking my best friend, (Y/n).”

“Ander!” Guzmán pipes up, stepping forward to stand beside you, “She doesn’t need this kind of stress, okay? Can we be mature about this?”

Ander laughs outwardly, “How would you know what the hell she needs?”

“Because she’s pregnant with my child Ander.”

The words fall like boulders to the ground below, practically dropping the temperature another five degrees as they do. You were certain that it wasn’t the baby causing the sickness that bubbled inside you.

Guzmán looks at you like he’s just done the worst thing imaginable, helplessness seeping into those eyes like he’s terrified of your reaction. He didn’t seem to care about what Ander would say - just you.

“You’re pregnant?” Ander’s shoulders drop like he’s lost his ability to fight back.

“I promise I was going to tell you soon, I just wanted to be sure of everything first and I didn’t want it to happen like this.”

“You got my sister pregnant?” Ander turns all of his attention to Guzmán, “You couldn’t keep your fucking hands away from her, huh?”

“It wasn’t like that, it was never like that, it was over summer an-“ Guzmán tries to continue, looking more innocent than ever as he stumbles over his words.

Ander stops him quickly as he grips onto the material of Guzman’s shirt and shoves him against the wall, face close to his as he seethes with unstopping anger, “You could’ve gone for anybody, anybody! And you went for my sister? My fucking twin sister?!”

Guzmán doesn’t respond.

“And now what? You get her pregnant and expect her whole life to change just because of one of your mistakes?!” Ander yells, “You make me fucking sick!”

With that, he shoves Guzmán to the side and comes straight over to you. It’s like an instant switch as soon as you’re in his sight. He was seeing you in a completely different light - someone he needed to protect now more than ever.

“I want you tell me everything okay, everything I can do, whenever you need me an-“

“Ander,” You settle a hand on his arm, “I won’t be on my own. We’re-“

“Don’t tell me you think he’s going to stay by your side through this,” Ander shakes his head, looking between you and Guzmán, “You’re both as delirious as each other.”

With that, he gives up on both of you and storms back out of the room. You were relieved when Omar followed quickly after him, you dreaded the thought of him being alone after something like that.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry, it just slipped out and I-“ Guzmán sighs, “I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m so sorry.”

You don’t find any energy in you to respond and instead turn and wrap your arms around him, letting him hold you close and confirm to you that you wouldn’t be alone. You couldn’t believe that Ander was right. The thought of being a mother was terrifying enough, let alone being a single mother before the baby was even born.

- - - - - -

Guzmán went home late that night and you’d passed Anders room to see him sleeping beside Omar -relieved that there wouldn’t be anymore arguments for the rest of the night.

The next morning would be a different matter.

“Morning, Omar,” You say as you’re walking down the stairs and he’s just about to walk up.

“Hey,” He offers you a small smile.

“How is he?”

He glances over to the dining room where Ander was sat staring aimlessly into a cup of coffee, “He took it pretty hard last night, and I think he’s trying to process everything. I think more than anything he regrets what he said to you both but he’s too proud to admit it.”

You nod and keep your eyes focused on your brother, “Thank you, I’ll see you later, okay? Or I’ll shout for help if I need it.”

He laughs and squeezes your arm for some slight reassurance before you head through to the kitchen.

Ander glances up as you walk in, swallowing a gulp of his drink, “Morning. Did you sleep okay?”

You pour yourself some juice and sit across from him at the island, “Yeah, did you?”

He nods, “Eventually, took me a while to switch my mind off.”

You look down, “Me too.”

The silence falls and it breaks your heart a little to know you’d caused all of this.

“I’m sorry for how it happened, Ander. I never wanted you to find out like that.”

“I know,” He mumbles, “I didn’t expect to find out I’d be an uncle that way either.”

“I guess not, but you’re still going to be an uncle.”

“How far along are you?” He glances up, eyes flicking to your stomach for just a moment.

“Six weeks, I have my first scan next week. They should be able to detect a heartbeat by then,” You explain, “I only told Guzmán last week.”

“What happened over summer?” Ander continues, “I don’t need all of the details.”

You smile a little, “I’m not sure I know either. Guzmán and I spent a lot more time together than normal and one thing led to another. It wasn’t just a one time thing.”

“So you two are together now?”

“No, no,” You half-laugh, “I knew how you’d react to that, it didn’t seem worth the risk.”

“And he’s willing to be there for you and to father this child?” Ander continues, like he was forcing the pieces of the puzzle to connect in his head.

“I believe him Ander, he’s been really supportive so far and he wants whats best for me, and for the baby,” You encourage, “It’s his baby just as much as it is mine.”

“Okay,” Ander takes a deep breath, setting his coffee down onto the table, “Im not saying I completely believe, or trust, him but I trust your judgement. And I want you to know that if anyone is capable of doing something like this - God it would be you. And you’re not going to be on your own.”

You smile and reach over the table to squeeze his hand, “Thank you, Ander.”

“Uncle Ander and Uncle Omar, huh?” He grins, “I like the sound of that.”

You laugh and it feels like the best thing he could’ve said in that moment. It feels like everything you needed to hear wrapped into one small morning conversation between just you two.

Uncle Ander and Uncle Omar. It did have a nice ring to it.

[penzyroamin]

Food and sharing food continues to be a recurring motif in “tied together”. What was your thought process around that? How do you see that connecting to some of the central themes and concepts in the story as a whole? (And, if you would like to go into this, how do you see food and sharing food playing out in the messy au where David will also be cooking but in a completely different context/power dynamic?)

HAHAHAHA! I CAN FINALLY TALK ABT THIS WITHOUT SEEMING LIKE F SCOTT FITZGERALD BEGGING PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT THE GREAT GATSBY WAS!!!!!

okay. im calm now.

so for a couple years now i have deeply and secretly loved the concept of food as a symbol for community. i didnt use it in fic for a long time for a variety of reasons. one, it just never really felt right. two, my love of this symbol is very much connected to my southern-ness, and while im sure many people have just as strong, if not stronger connections between food and community, i didnt really know if people reading my stuff would Get It or connect w it.

i finally decided to use it for tied together for two reasons. first, this is my most definitively southern fic. ive written other fics with Humid Small Town Energy but this is my first that i really let myself go “fuck it. crawfish boils. hurricanes. middle aged women with crushes on jim cantore.” as such, it felt like if i was going to go for this symbol at any point, it needed to be with this fic. the second is that due to Pandemic and also living across the country from the majority of the family i grew up with, i have been kind of starved of community experiences as of late. i wrote tied together entirely during a period when i havent spent time with anyone besides my immediate family, so i was really thinking about community and the nature of it and how fucking badly i wanna have a massive meal with people and hence... this symbol

with the background of my decision to include it covered, let’s get into how it appears in tied together!!

in chapter one, the majority of food’s appearances are... impersonal, if that makes sense? its all premade, whether its drive-through stuff, tv dinners, etc etc, and he doesnt know the person who made it. its also worth pointing out that around the time jack and his mom stop sharing meals is the point they become disconnected from each other. essentially, that’s the disconnect from community throughout jack’s early life

davey comes around and it. is pretty obvious from the start that, through this symbol, he is the Literal Embodiment Of Connection To The People Around Him. food was a really key way for me to show just how connected he is to his community-- he’s constantly cooking for other people, working for battalion, helping people get good food, contributing recipes to little cookbooks. the end chapter also nods to this in the scene w his family where esther mentions he made her teach him to cook for a group, and the conversation afterwards where he mentions that he wouldn’t be comfortable with people paying him to make them food or making food for strangers. cooking for other people is essentially davey’s way of nurturing the community around him and becoming closer with people, so to make food in an impersonal way goes against everything he knows about food and sharing it. the interactions he has through food represent the larger relationships and interactions he has within his community. juxtaposed to jack, he’s built this little world around him filled with people that he loves and cares for, even if that does lay a heavy burden on him at points. if i ever write something delving deeper into davey in this au, i’ll elaborate further-- but, essentially, davey’s role as The Provider of food for the people around him was a real stand-in for the way that he feels both within his family and his larger community.

think of it this way-- in all the scenes we see with davey cooking at a large event-- i.e., the crawfish boil-- he’s always pushed off to the side by that. there’s usually someone talking to him or checking in on the food, but he’s not able to be engaged in the larger hubbub and discussion of the party because he’s busy. it’s in providing food for people and sharing that with him that he gets fulfillment out of the experience. in his family, we see that davey is a little bit isolated. he was growing up at the exact time when mayer’s alcoholism was getting worse and hitting its peak, and he left before mayer ever really managed to get very far into recovery. his time in their house, essentially, was a lot of heavy lifting and few moments of solidarity and joy. he loves his family, of course, it’s just a very labor-intensive process. and then, of course, he has a similar experience to what a lot of southern marginalized people feel-- this intense need to care for and better your community when your community very frequently doesn’t care for you. davey has absolutely zero capacity for apathy in this au, and it definitely shines through with this whole dynamic. he works SO HARD to care for people, even if he isnt always able to fully enjoy being around them and being loved by them

and then, of course, you have the way davey and jack interact through this motif-- davey teaches jack how to cook, gives him a cookbook, invites him over for meals, etc etc. sharing that with him essentially represents welcoming jack into his community as a whole, and giving him a place there. jack mentions davey “clearing a spot at the table” for him, and that’s both literal and figurative.

additionally, while davey uses food as a way to bring jack into his community, jack also makes davey a little less isolated. in a lot of the scenes in chapter 5, theyre cooking together, in a very domestic, symbiotic sort of way. i wanted this to demonstrate how jack relieves some of the burden davey puts on himself and exists sort of Within davey’s bubble rather than just reaping the benefits

i also wanted to illustrate with this how jack repairing his relationship w food keys into this. obviously we have the disconnect that he has early on where his unfamiliarity w what he eats and who makes it represents a larger disconnect between him and the people around him, but jack does also absolutely use food as a coping mechanism and a crutch. not to get, again, TOTALLY gatsby here, but he’s chasing that sense of community and belonging and understanding in the wrong places. it’s once he begins to actually make food for himself and understand the process of it and be able to carry something through to completion that he’s able to actually Enjoy food, yknow? i wanted that to mirror the way throughout the earlier parts of his life that he tried to kind of slap up temporary relationships and make do with that. 

side note about jack and food: jack has undiagnosed adhd (and some vague comorbidities rip) in this au, and his experiences with it i preeeetttty heavily lifted from my life and my special brand of fucked in the head. (for those of you who don’t know, carb and sugar cravings are a symptom of adhd, hence why food is often a coping mechanism for us fhskdhs). cooking and baking are processes that have REALLY helped me get a handle on myself-- it gives me an outlet for movement and stimulation, and its something that i can carry through till the end and get an actual end product that i can recognize and benefit from. plus, real time consequences if i let something do whatever for ten more minutes! so thats another element i added to the way that jack builds healthier coping mechanisms over time-- he moves away from food as a crutch and instead develops a new form of CREATING that gives him an outlet and a feeling of productivity

those are some Vague thoughts. i will probably elaborate in the future!

now, for the messy au, rather than food symbolizing community, i chose to have it represent vulnerability.

a quick review: jack married rich, and davey is jack’s new wife’s cook. on his wife, dorothy’s part, i wanted this to shine through in this squeaky clean, pristine image that a lot of rich people try to craft. she never cooks for herself, never pays much attention to davey, never draws attention to him. in essence, she is creating as few weak spots as possible-- she refuses to be vulnerable to the people and the society around her.

with davey, however, his and his family’s livelihood depends on him cooking for this woman, and later for her and her husband. he’s forced into this position of extreme vulnerability and weakness by his financial situation, and cant really regain his sense of privacy or self because of that. its also a point in this story that he has very little time or wherewithal to cook for his FAMILY. so, his job forces him into a vulnerable situation with complete strangers who hold an upper hand over him but denies him the opportunity to be vulnerable with his own family, only reinforcing this idea that he is the protector and the provider and as such cannot have weak spots and cannot, under any circumstances, break

it also really highlights the difference between jack’s relationship with his wife vs with davey and smalls-- all the scenes of he and dorothy eating together are in grand, fancy rooms, with a certain amount of pomp and circumstance and dignity attached. with davey and smalls, though, he’s usually in the kitchen, having conversation, enjoying their company, helping them with menial things. that’s an environment that he’s used to and comfortable with, the kind of relationships and interactions he grew up with, while the stuffiness of his life and interactions with dorothy are entirely less vulnerable and close

that’s just a brief overview, but its something to look for when i finally finish the fic! it definitely started as a very soapy sort of thing, but my damn instincts pushed me to delve deeper into the characters and their relationships and the fucked-up-ness of it all. so, here we are

i really hope this helped!!!! this is not organized AT ALL so please tell me if there’s anything else you wanted to know or any details you noticed

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 7th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware 

Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6

Can we get an MTC ep for Samatoki’s birthday please?

nope its MTR

ah man i always get really down whenever i see Doppo’s workplace environment. it suckssss

EYYYYY BUSTER BROS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i forgot the name of the song in the moment but is Ikebukuro West Gate Park which is funny since thats where the ikebukuro prelims are held)

OOO IRIS ON A MOTERBIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! thats so hot oh my god, the CGI was good too! she had no right making to popping a wheelie over speedbumps look cool

Tom mentioned last episode that he had picked these three up from bad places and I have a feeling that Iris was once either an adrenaline junkie, thrill seeker, or involved in something that had her on the run

I don’t know about Rex. I think society just took one look at him and pushed him away because his personality is weird. He’s honest and kind, almost too kind. It don’t help that he doesn’t look traditionally Japanese which will garner him a lot of unpleasant experiences

MTCCCCCCCCCCC HELL YEAH

love that theyre one of the few units shown actually going out and doing intel searching on their own

god the TDD flashbacks harken to the manga and thats so cool

There’s a lot of underline threads going on in here and its going to be hard keeping track of them. I hope that the anime doesn’t choke itself on all the threads

T.REX is hilarious i think i might actually grow to like him. he’s a dumb himbo

ah even more threads and previous connections. i really really really hope that everything is ties up nicely by the end of the season though that doesn’t seem plausible, not with only 5 episodes remaining

OH GOD WHY WAS YOTOSUJUJI BROUGHT UP NOW IM TEARING UP

ah of course robberies are going to happen on the day of the rap battle

That ruikawa guy is suspicious. it might be my INFP speaking but his kindness seems a bit weird

ah yeah red flags right there. he’s definitely one of the robbers or in cahoots with them

ah yeah hes a robber. theres no doubt about that. “ive found a place to release what builds up inside me”. thats crime isn’t it. the fact that he won’t talk about it just raises more red flags

ahahaha see i was right

hey at least it was doppo’s hardass boss. could be someone more innocent and less asshole-y

YOU JUST GAVE YOUR INDEITY AWAY ASSHOLE wow even doppo caught on

EYYYY SHINJIKU STYLE!!!!! HELL YEAH

Those stills are absolutely mesmerizing though. 

i love the sense of trust and mentorship between matenro with Jakurai as Hifumi and Doppo’s mentors. At least that’s the feeling I get with them ahaha

Doppo’s english is a bit harsh but also weirdly fits his style. im a bit mixed on it but with the whole song being more melancholic with english sprinkled in, it matches the theme

The song itself is such a mellow and soothing song though. Its different than Maternro’s usual work and its a good different. I love the subway and old timey imagery that came with the song and the image of a subway train lighting up the way to a new path is such a great way of showing that there are different paths and different destinations that one can take. Even if you take the same train, you can end up in a different place. The light imagery in particular is just so good since Ruikawa’s original line of the city being a beacon of light for him is mirrored in the song.

The lyrics especially are so soft and powerful with the imagery within the words being simultaneously rough and tumble but also soft and reassuring. It seems more like a lament or a elegy to a life that could have been if they had gotten on a different train. I love the lyrics, especially the chorus since it speaks of mundane things but things that everyone can understand and relate to

it also carries mad Spirited Away vibes. It’s also called Falling which I think is pretty fitting

the only thing that I don’t like about the song Jakurai’s vocal beats within his verse. Usually it works since there’s a big beatboxing feel to those beats but with Jakurai his lyrical rap doesn’t mesh well with the harsh guttural sounds beatboxing

The pain of having one of your few friends betray you hurts and wow this episode is out to make me feel a lot of sympathy for Doppo

SMILING DOPPO!!!

Hell yeah they actually had a plan and followed through with it

Did they just set up the MTC episode lmao. thats sneaky

OOh that beat change for FP ending is so nice!!

--

I think I’m only noticing this just now but the episode titles are all famous quotes from people/proverbs. 

Ep. 1) “As Soon as Man is Born, He Begins to Die“ This is an old proverb. Who said it I don’t know and a quick internet search gave me nothing, but its commonly said to convey the meaning that nothing lasts forever. IDK why this proverb was chosen since there’s no indication of any of the teams disbanding any time soon except for TDD era teams which have already happened

Ep. 2) “Speak of the Devil and He Will Appear“ Again, another old idiom which dates back to the 16th century. This one is probably about Ichiro and how he appears whenever he is called or whenever he is needed. Though it could be a overall commentary on how the brothers are reliable no matter the situation

Ep. 3) “Two Heads Are Better Than One” - John Heywood This quote describes DoHifu pretty well. Its because these two work and rely on each other that they’re able to not only make it through each day but also make each day worth living. Because they help each other, but they’re not the same, they’re better for it. This could also apply to MTR as a whole being a team where each member thinks outside the box and their ideas collectively make such an interesting team

Ep. 4) “A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed” This one is an 11th century proverb which explains that in times of need, true friends will show their colors. That's the main mentality behind MTC though I believe that it applies to Rio in particular for this episode. While the entirety of MTC are willing to help each other in times of need, in this episode it mainly focused on Samatoki and Rio’s plights and how the members as a whole show that they are all true friends to each other

Ep. 5) “Seeing is Believing” The origins of this quote is blurry but there the bible seems to be the origin of this statement believe it or not. While it does fit the episode’s theme of ghosts and how rumor's can harm people and businesses, it doesn’t really describe FP like the other quotes do the other teams. I find it odd, but I hope that FP are redeemed in their next feature episode. FP deserves better and are being done dirty in the anime.

Ep. 6) “He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best” - The Christmas Prince. I think this one is pretty nice in describing not only the episode but the series as a whole. It doesn’t matter who’s winning in the begging, or the middle. The final outcome is what really matters. It’s pretty apt for the series since even though The Party of Words are winning currently, its who wins by the end of the series that matters. The episode encompasses this pretty well too with the whole plotline.

Ep. 7) “The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn” Dating back to 1950 ish, this one carries the simple There is hope in the worst circumstances message. Again, its pretty suitable for the series as a whole since the Party of Words might be making life harsh, but there’s still hope to be found in the world.

Ep. 8) “Dead men tell no tales” - Thomas Becon. NGL, this one scares me because it can either apply to MTC, or the universe as a whole. We’ll just have to wait till next week to know for sure but i think we’ll get some Jyuto angst with his parents

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[zuzuslastbraincell]

Katara!

KATARA KATARA KATARA

why I like them

oh god where do i even start. katara just contains so many multitudes - she's sweet and feminine and caring and attentive but she's never reduced to just that, she's never just 'the girl', she's also allowed to get mad, to be petty, to laugh at her brother, to be headstrong and stubborn, to express vulnerability, to cry and to laugh, to make ridiculous facial expressions and *be* very expressive. she's dealing with a lot of trauma not simply from the loss of her mother but that loss represents also how her tribe have been decimated by the fire nation, how she's the last waterbender, how all this pressure exists on her shoulders (but also pride, but also determination, to bring it back) and that is expressed subtly throughout the series with the same depth and love that male characters are afforded with regard to their respective traumatic experiences. and despite all this she never tries to stop making the world good? She's always pushing for change, she's always wanting to make things better, she's relentless and doesn't give up when it comes to her vision for a better world... she has such a big heart. and that coexists with a deep anger in her, and deep hurt. Not to make an ocean metaphor so early on but she's as deadly and deep as the ocean but she chooses to be kind and warm and that's so powerful.

why i don't

honnestly while katara's instincts to mother people are a sad symptom of how she was forced to grow up to soon and automaically asigns herself a role of emotional responsibility she has mixed feelings about, i know that if katara tried to mother me, i would be annoyed. but that sounds more like a me problem.

favourite episode

oh it's either the episode where she beats the fucking shit out of pakku or it's the southern raiders. the first one because it's so gratifying to see how she's grown and developed as a bender and really come into her own. the second because... god i love how *messy* the southern raiders is, and it really taps into what i love about katara - she's flawed, she runs off on an ill-thought out revenge mission with zuko, she's got a great capability for darkness as she quite seriously considers murdering a man she has every right to loathe and to kill - but she chooses against it, in the end. it would not be right for her, if not him. she chooses what's right for her in the end.

favourite season

I'm gonna be a wee bit controversial and say book 1 had the best conception of katara's arc from student to master and really saw her grow and flourish, from someone yelling at her brother' oafish prejudice to a real master, that really solidified her as an idealist and presented that as the strength that is, that showed her struggling with petty jealousy of aang's progress and had her stumble in ways that made her character comeplling and interesting - like what an introduction to her character! book 2 had some fantastic moments but i can't think of anything particularly remarkable about hee character arc - largely because it tied into aang's romantic arc i think at this point. book 3 had some absolutely fantastic moments (scam queens katara and toph!! painted lady!! southern raiders!! the final agni kai) that really shone but also book 3 lays a lot of groundwork for fanon i hate (e.g. katara as the mom friend - wish that headcanon would die tbh)

favourite line

fuck there's a lot of good ones but my underrated fave is when sokka says he's kissed a girl before but she's never met her and katara says 'Who? Gran-gran? I've met gran-gran' and it's bruuutaaall

but my favourite serious line is 'I will never ever give up on people who need me'. powerful.

favourite outfit

water tribe anything!! and i actually think her book one/book two braids are her best hair. underrated katara hair. personally she looks just adorable in her parka in the flashback to when she was like. eight.

OTP

katara/personal fulfilment

katara/happiness

katara/fulfilling her goals and dreams

katara/loving minor background character who is never named

there's some ships i like in AU situations - yuetara is actually one i lov, especially with waterbender yue, i just love the whole sea/moon thing as well as katara and yue rebelling in loud/quiet ways, being girlfriends who refuse to have their lives defined by the expectations of older men, who have a great sense of duty towards their nations and won’t let gendered expectations stop them.

and most of you know i like the messy drama of katara/azula in a lighter AU situation where they're like, school or academic rivals, and the legacy of imperialism isn’t quite so personal (and azula makes better choices, obviously), but it’s not as much as i “ship” them as i just find the potential dynamic interesting, they’re both driven by a sense of duty for their home, it’s just that means *very* different things depending if you’re SWT or FN.

none of them are OTPs though - they’re more just fun thought experiments

brotp

katara & sokka - absolutely love their sibling dynamic its amazing. both have been impacted negatively by the shit in their lives and are not always dealing with it in functional ways but theyre there for each other, through thick and thin, always have each other's backs, they roast each other and bicker and sometimes make stupid decisions and sometimes lash out but at the end of the day their love pulls through, they’re able to work past those conflicts.

katara & aang - honestly while i feel kataang was just so poorly executed in the show (listen guys I just can’t after ember island players, i know that was a bad episode, but i can’t) & i cant imagine katara wanting to leave the south pole after the war for long spells (it would have to be long distance love, lots of profound and heartfelt letters and occasional visits, if anything, but i dont know if that’s what katara wants or needs? so maybe it wouldn’t pan out?), but regardless, i really do think these two had a life-changing friendship where each really represented hope for each other, that's at the core of it, they both truly believe in each other, and inspired each other. katara & aang good.

a headcanon

chief katara anyone?? chief katara?!?! 

oh oh OH i also think that katara, while primarily a combat bender during the war, actually takes to healing a lot more after the show and gets proper healing training at some point with the help of a trained medical expert and maybe yugoda. tbh i feel like the show was a bit dismissive of healing as an ability - i feel like having that is *extremely* useful in any combat situation, you always have a medic on hand - but i understand why katara, who wanted to be recognised as powerful regardless of her gender, and wanted to hold herself in a fight alongside sokka & aang, pushed for combat waterbending training because that is what 'powerful' looks like to her in the moment. obviously katara is capable of incredible healing feats (see: saving aang) but i think given we see her as a healer in lok (not a decision i necessarily disagree with) would mean a shift in focus. i think katara actually comes to realise she likes healing a great deal, but really she excels in all aspects of waterbending and is the south’s most respected master who helped rejuvenate southern style waterbending  

unpopular opinion

the main reason people think katara is straight is because we see her have very few meaningful interactions with other girls outside of toph. ATLA as a show is a bit romance obsessed, and very heteronormative in that regard, and so interactions with minor characters almost always line up with a potential crush for sokka or katara, and later, zuko (suki, haru, jet, yue, song, jin....). we rarely see katara build friendships with other girls and it’s such a damn shame.

(anyway bi katara for life)

a wish

the version of the puppetmaster we saw was actually fire nation propaganda, i feel like katara would have felt deep compassion for a prisoner of war and after maybe some clashes, would have agreed to help smuggle her out of the fire nation and secure passage home for hama, and tried to assure her that she still has a place there. the treatment of hama in that episode was awful (but also hama was written to be almost cartoonishly evil, very much an evil witch in her cottage in the spooky woods? like the whole horror movie / spooky story opening was such a big tell) and tbh i reject the thesis that we saw ‘katara’s dark potential’ in that episode completely, or that bloodbending as a power is inherently dark, or katara’s use of it to stop hama ‘corrupted’ her. I feel like katara might feel this way as a teenager perhaps but with time (she can be a little black and white at times), and especially with more training as a healer, i think she might realise that’s not the case, she’ll realise that she was right to try and oppose hama, her elder (she was lashing out rather than really trying to oppose the fire nation), and it wasn’t a betrayal of her or her beliefs, but also her use of bloodbending wasn’t wrong or evil inherently at all? and maybe she’d find ways to use it for healing purposes? anyway my wish is that, i like the idea that they meet again, speak about their differences, reconcile a little / come to an understanding, and katara learns more from hama again

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen

anything where katara’s character is reduced to a comforter or a healing device for a man and his trauma. particularly zuko. (they don’t have that dynamic in canon thankfully, zuko would never, zuko respects her too much)

5 words to describe them:

idealistic, hard-working, powerful, headstrong, kind

my nickname for them:

chief. or comrade. :^)

[mousehole5000]

okay im rewriting tgcf (only in my head im lazy) here are my notes on hua/lian specifically this is long bc fuck it. major spoilers obviously and same trigger warnings as the content of the book

disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer that i dont know anything about the cultural background of anything in tgcf or story tropes etc etc this is just I Think It Would Be Neat If..

there’s not really any reason to keep hc as a kid in the backstory BUT in the story in the intro (which i like narratively) it still says that it was a child who xie lian caught. it’s one of those things that got added to the legend to make xie lian seem even more noble, there are also probably a few other inaccuracies in the intro that get found out as the story progresses. in actuality hc was kind of a known troublemaker to the city guards or whatever or had been in the past. maybe his mother just passed after a long illness and his tumble off the wall was intentional. either way he’s kind of pissed at xie lian for saving him. xie lian is concerned about his health so he has to stay at the palace for a while he recovers and only interacts with xie lian a few times. there is a point where he says out loud all the things about the divide between the rich and the poor that have been illustrated by the scenes with mu qing. feng xin tells him to shut up but mq goes dead silent bc he kind of agrees but can’t say and does have his loyalty to xie lian (its a whole thing) and the resentment begins

also i think young hc’s personality is similar to his personality in the present but a bit more reserved and he’s got like this plucky streak or something. also he is unquestionably gay

anyway hc sneaks out of the palace and xie lian catches him obviously but they have a brief little heart to heart where xie lian is like “look you can go if you want here take this money food” etc and demonstrates that he has actually listened to what hc has to say and hc is like “wow no one other than my mom has ever listened to me in my life so thats what that feels like i kind of like it” and he probably is a bit awestruck by xie lian in different ways and after that is like “okay this kingdom sucks but.. that guys not so bad”

sad ironic sense that if xie lian hadnt ascended until he was older he may have actually be able to do something about the problems in the kindgom but alas we have a cycle to perpetuate

the “take me as the meaning of your life” scene still happens p much the same but xl doesnt recognize hc who is actually now at his lowest point. hc tried to find ways to make things better for people like him but he simply did not succeed (maybe his were efforts quashed by the corrupt authorities? its implied probably) and he’s more disillusioned with the kingdom and life than ever but still is holding on to those memories of xie lian as proof that it doesnt have to be like this but that thread is slipping until!! whose fucking voice is that??? thats right its the one person you ever believed was truly good and went and proved you right by ascending to the heavens at age 17!!! guess its time to stan him forever

anyway hc joins the army but legally or whatever and tbh i would have hated the flower cave scene regardless of anything i just hate any sort of s*x pollen trope or anything so thats gone (they can have a wound tending scene or something tho thats the good shit) and instead we have HL getting overwhelmed by some other demons or something together and xie lian protects hc and they both get injured very badly (maybe hc would lose a limb but im not sure how that would work once hes a ghost so thats on hold for now until i figure it out) and xl is fine but this situation ends up being part of why mq kicks hc out of the army but yes hc still ends up dying on the battlefield anyway </3

the wuming stuff is the same i think but also at some point xl is despairing and says something about that guy he saved from falling and wonders what happened to him and fire ghost wuming is like !!!!! (wait does this happen in canon? honestly it should)

in mount tong’lu i was tempted to actually have hc have a similar moment to the bamboo hat scene with the humans who are trapped in there but im not sure if i just want it to be the same as xie lian’s story... also i like the idea of hc needing to hang onto his devotion to get through his first few centuries of being a ghost so maybe he’s just inspired by xie lian’s sacrifice with the sword and the souls and thats why he claws his own eye out as a sacrifice

so this can go one of two ways from here!!! both are me projecting hardcore so take them with a grain of salt im not saying im right about the way relationships should be these a re just my thoughts <3

1. (the not fun one but it still has a happy ending) the story more or less continues the same as canon. pure and simple devotion is what carries hc through the centuries. we get to see some ghost city antics and its fun but there is nothing complicated about the devotion hc just wants to find xl and protect him. hualian eventually meet. they get along pretty well!! eventually there are cracks. when you hold someone in your mind for so long you have expectations for them that no person can meet consistently. hc thinks that since he’s seen xl during the worst time in his life that he can handle anything but it turns out that as amazing as xl is, he is also just a person and sometimes he is wrong or irrational or annoying. xl is so happy to have someone who will listen to him talk that he kind of neglects to really get to know who hc is as a person and hc is kind of like “huh i didnt expect this but im kind of hurt. i genuinely thought that i just wanted to serve and protect you but actually im my own person and this is weird” but he doesnt say anything he thinks he has to stick to his promise and it gets kind of uncomfortable!! maybe his luck goes haywire bc his faith gets rocked for the first time ever and they end up having to talk it out but their relationship is stronger for it <3

2. (i think this one is fun) hc struggles with waiting. he does it but its hard. he has doubts and when all his efforts to find xl are fruitless he starts to grow bitter and curses the day that xl saved him. his faith burns low but doesnt go out. then ghost city!! hc realizes that he can finally help people like him, even if theyre ghosts now and hes grateful for the chance to do this and grateful to xl and resigns himself to waiting. but its still hard!! he realizes that his luck is tied to his devotion and gets kind of pissed about it!!! he tries to remember all the good things about xl but its hard!!! his search becomes more about repaying a debt so he can be free than anything else, he just wants to help the common people spirits with no strings attached (this actually allows him to keep his luck bc he has the same wish as xl and thats what makes him a true believer!! is this corny? does it make sense? i dont care) and so eventually when he finds xl he’s like okay how quickly can i repay this debt/how can i keep my powers but then xie lian is... so good... and hc actually really likes him he remembers why he swore his devotion in the first place. now hes conflicted!!! dont worry they fall in love tho <3

wow this was really long if you read this hiiiii. anyway when i reread ill try to pay more attention to yin yu and he xuan for hc’s 800 years. hua cheng we’re gonna get you some friends and lore i swear to god

[justanothersyscourse]

Theres something to be said about people who are deluded into thinking theyre multiple without actually being multiple. Like I'd probably assume that a portion of endogenics/mixed origin systems are actually psychotic but unaware that their multiplicity is a delusion/tied to a delusion- not that being deluded is a negative thing to be. That was the case for me before i got medicated and my head got screwed on straight.

First, anon, thank you for sharing your experience. I can’t say I completely approve of the language used (I can’t quite put my finger on it, I think I’m just very tired and not quite able to parse the thoughts out), but I see, acknowledge, and agree with your point-- and I’m incredibly happy for you. I said in a post earlier today that’s it’s only recently that I got my own medication sorted out in a good way, so I can imagine the journey you had getting there. I hope your life only gets better from here <3 

I actually JUST reblogged this post about this very thing, which I really enjoyed-- I thought they worded it really well and it speaks for itself-- but I will reiterate. There is no shame in realizing you have something else. It’s all part of the journey to be healthy-- whatever healthy might look like for you.

There are 2 things that I hope to spread with this blog.

Firstly, I hope to spread the importance of truly researching what you’re attempting to self-diagnose with, or suggesting you might have to a counsellor/therapist/psychologist (I see your posts, people!! I agree that my answer to the last anon was very Canada-centric, and appreciate everyone chiming in with how different levels of psychiatry works in other countries!). It’s incredibly important that people read and understand as much text as possible before claiming to have something-- and always remember to read the full text. Half quotes are almost always wrong (examples of this in my post on the critique of LB Lee, my post on being disordered, and my post on the 90%/10% myth of the DSM 5 on DID/OSDD).

Secondly, I want to encourage more people to take advantage of therapy and clinical/diagnostic services when and where they can, because it can truly help in situations like my own and anon’s. I absolutely acknowledge that not everyone is able to, but if you can, do! Therapy alone can be helpful for absolutely everyone, disordered or not, with or without ANY kind of mental illness! Therapy is good JUST for being able to talk to a neutral party about everyday stress! This is especially true for anyone who THINKS they might have ANYTHING! If you can, try. Therapists have a wealth of knowledge and resources to help you meet personal mental health goals, and can answer any questions you might have, or point you in the right direction.

My main concern with the endogenic movement is the echo chamber of validation that keeps people from pursuing these services and finding their truth.

Be like anon. Be open to options and don’t stop until you find your version of healthy.