#my mind amazes me somtimes

[balladofthe101st]

nixon and dick's committment to each other is insane like, nixon doesn't, not ever, want to separate from dick. he doesn't see a life during or after the war without him so, he offers him a job at his family's company, and even signs up to jump with him in the pacific. then even though dick is always trying to set nixon straight, telling him to cut off his drinking and to not fuck up with regiment, he gifts him, just him, a cellar's worth of alcohol, ordering two of his soldiers to stand guard because he indulges, for once, in his drinking and wants nixon to be the first one there and get all the best drinks for himself before anyone else in the whole regiment can. they're insane. insane. insane

[kittyfuckincheshire]

❤CUDDLES❤alastor x reader

You were new to he'll you died from suicide. You met Charlie one day while wandering around pentagram City. She told you about her hotel and you very excitedly agreed to join the wayward group on the journey to redemption. When you arrived at the hotel you met alastor when Charlie was giving you the tour. Charlie I was unaware we had a new guest. Oh hi alastor this is y/n. Hi. Well hello my dear my name is alastor I'm am one of the patrons of this fabulous hotel. Hi I'm y/n. Well alastor we must get going I still have a lot to show y/n. Well good bye alastor. Good bye my dear let me know if you need anything. I will thanks bye. After your encounter with a last or Charlie introduced you to the other guest/staff of the hotel.You and angel almost instantly became friends you and baggie were friends as well you also befriended husker he was kinda like that drunk friend with good advice and nifty was kinda like a little sister. You really enjoyed being at the hotel you loved it.you and alastor grew very close over the few months you had been there you noticed that he was very protective of you when around other demons and he treated you kinder and better than everyone You were starting to get a crush on him but you didn't say anything because you were scared he would not return your feelings and you would ruin your friendship with him.(TIME SKIP)sorry. It was late and you couldn't sleep so you headed down stairs to get a glass of water you bumped into alastor on your way back to your room. Hello my dear what are you doing up so late? Oh hi alastor I was just getting a glass of water I was kinda having trouble sleeping. Oh? Well sometimes I have nightmares about my past life you know my one on earth. Ah and do they trouble you? Somtimes... Okay a lot but its fine I'm fine. Hmm would you like me to keep you company until your tired again?. Oh um sure if its no trouble to you. Of course not my dear! Do you want to go back to my room? Alright. You walked back to your room with alastor in tow when you got to your room you walked in and got in bed alastor sat at the foot of your bed and y'all started to chat until you got tired. Hey al? Yes dear? Do you ever miss anything from your life on earth? Hmm well yes I'm miss my darling mother she was quite the lady I'm sure you would have liked here why do you ask? Well I miss my family that's what most of my nightmares are about they were amazing my mother was an amazing women I miss her the most she used to sing me to sleep when I was little when I lost her I was heart broken. I also miss my many brothers and sisters and my dad I think there all in heaven at least I hope so. Hmm scoot over. W-what?. Move over. Al are you sure? Yes. O-okay. He climbed in the bed with you and He grabbed you around the waist and then started spooning you. Y'all cuddled for a minute until he started humming your eyes started getting droopy and you slowly started to fall asleep. good night al. goodnight my dear. Hey al? Yes? I love you. I love you to MI amour.

I enjoyed writing this i've been having trouble sleeping and I thought some cute fluff with my favorite red deer would be cute well I hope you enjoyed it!byee

P.S. This is also my first fanfiction so please don't be to judgey I don't mind constructive criticisms but please no rude comments in the comment section. Have a good day!

[bleep-bleep-richie]

part one

part two

He's not panicking.

Just because he knows Eddie had court at 9am and they had plans to talk at lunch, and it's now 7pm and he still hasn't called.

Nope, definitely not panicking.

He isn't pacing the apartment either. No, he's just taking a leisurely stroll back and forth across his living room. There's just nothing good on TV. He isn't panicking, there's no reason to panic.

He had texted him at 1 and, after getting no answer, again at 5. He picks his phone up where he'd thrown it not even five minutes ago face down on the couch. He swipes his way to his messages.

Nothing.

He clicks "💖Edwardo💖" and scrolls through their messages from the last couple days. He sighs and clicks the text box.

Hey, I'm gonna stay up until I hear from you, so call me whenever.

He sends it and throws the phone to the side, collapsing against the back of his sofa. He picks up his laptop, clicks on the video chat app, and stares at the stupid picture Eddie had chosen as his icon. The edge of his mouth lifts in spite of the sick churning in his stomach. "Eddie fucking Kaspbrak," he mumbles with a shake of his head. He's still looking at Eddie's picture when he starts to doze off.

He has no idea how much time has gone by when he's woken up by the sound of a call coming through his computer. His vision's blurry, he pushes his glasses back up on his face, and sees Eddie's smile way too close to the camera. He accepts the call. "What the fuck, man?"

"Richie!" Eddie cries. "Did I wake you? You said you were staying up."

Richie stretches and yawns before picking the laptop up and putting it on his coffee table. "Guess I fell asleep." He narrows his eyes. "Where are you?"

"Out! With Matt!"

Richie wants to ask who the hell Matt is but the camera is on the guy before he gets the chance.

"Look, Matt, it's my boyfriend," he hears Eddie say, "the guy I was telling you about!"

Richie has a moment of disconnect. "Uh," he says cleverly.

Matt leans closer. "Wait, holy shit, you really are Richie Tozier." He grins. "When Eddie said he was dating a celebrity, I didn't believe him."

"Fuck you!"

"Uh, hi?" Richie says. He's still reeling from 'boyfriend' and 'dating.' "Sorry, who are you again?"

Eddie turns the phone back, his face swims into view unsteadily. "My new manager! I hired him last week, he's gonna manage the New York branch when I leave."

"Okay, you're screaming."

"I'm celebrating!" he yells, raising a glass. He knocks it back and drains it to prove his point.

It's loud, Richie can hear the sounds of other people talking and laughing. He guesses they're in a bar. "Can you go outside or something? I can barely hear you."

Eddie's nodding as he gets to his feet. "Shit, yeah, sorry," he says when he swallows. "Matt, I'll be right back."

"Take your time, boss. Nice to meet you, Mr. Tozier!"

Richie makes a face. "Did he just call me Mister Tozier?"

Eddie laughs. He leans against the cool bricks of the building once he gets outside. "Yeah, he's like that."

"So," Richie starts after a beat, "how'd it go?"

"Oh! We found a place!"

"A place?"

"Yeah, an office building," Eddie replies excitedly. "Matt found it on the computer. And! He put up an ad for people to email me their resumes. It was so much easier than I was making it, big shocker there, right."

Richie tilts his head for a second. "That's fantastic, Eds, but what about court?"

"Oh, oh! Richie!" Eddie's smile splits his face. "She signed the papers! She dropped everything she was asking for, a share in the company, all the alimony. She told me on the way out it's because she's already engaged, and all I could think was 'that poor schmuck." He laughs, open and cheerful. Richie doesn't know if he's ever seen him so happy.

"Wow, that's awesome. Congratulations."

Something in his voice must give him away. Eddie's eyes soften and his smile fades. "Oh, Rich, I'm so sorry. I was supposed to call. I was just so excited to get everything done, we worked right through lunch. I'm booking a flight to LA tomorrow. Richie, we're going to he together before the end of the week." His eyes are so bright and happy, Richie wants to drown himself in them.

"That's- Wow, Eds, that's amazing." He pauses. "You're amazing." Eddie's eyes start to water and Richie figures he must be way drunker than he's letting on. "Wait, how are you video chatting from your phone?"

Eddie blinks. "Oh, there's an app for it."

"Yes, I know there's an app for it. How in the hell did you know there was an app for it? The only app you have on your phone is a calculator."

"Matt downloaded it for me. I saw your text and mentioned I needed to call you, so he showed me how to do it."

"That's great," Richie says flatly. "Matt's great."

"Yeah, he really is a whiz at the technology stuff."

"That's what happens when you hire a 20 year old."

"He's 25." He considers Richie a moment. "Wait, what was that?"

"What was what?"

Eddie eyes him. "That tone was hostile and, like, jealous. Are you-"

"I'm definitely not jealous."

Eddie's eyes widen. "You're lying! That's your lying face!"

"I have a lying face?" Richie asks, raising his eyebrows.

"You do, and you're making it right now. Why would you be jealous of Matt?"

"I'm not!" he protests. He sighs. "I dunno, man, it's just like, the most important day of your life and that's who you're celebrating with."

"Richie," Eddie says. His voice is gentle, like trying to coax a wild animal into a cage. It makes Richie want to punch a wall at how ridiculously easy it is for Eddie to turn him to mush. "I would rather celebrate with you than anyone in the world. But, baby, you're not here."

Richie's mind short circuits so hard over the word 'baby' that it takes him a full 30 seconds to process the rest of that sentence. He scoffs a laugh, completely humorless. "Yeah, and whose fault is that?"

Eddie's face crumbles and he looks down and away from the camera, like he's ashamed. Like Richie is embarrassing him.

He instantly feels like a jackass. "I'm sorry, Eds, I'm not trying to rain on your parade. I was just worried, when you didn't call."

"I said I was sorry. I got busy."

"I texted you three times," Richie replies. He feels like a petulant housewife who spent all day cooking a dinner that her husband never came home to eat. He guesses that's exactly how he sounds, too.

Eddie turns his sad eyes on Richie. "I didn't even look at my phone until like fifteen minutes ago. I called as soon as I saw them."

"I know, I know." He shakes his head. "'I'm sorry, 'm being a dick."

Eddie smirks. "Imagine that."

Richie breathes out his nose and wills himself not to be angry. Always understanding, never upset. Always with a joke but never with a complaint. How he's been all year, all his life with Eddie, if he's honest with himself. Never too emotional or serious, just in case it overwhelms. "I'll let you get back. Just let me know when you book your flight, I'll clean the guest room."

"The guest room?" Eddie's face falls. "I have to sleep in my own room? You're that mad that I forgot to call?"

"No, it's not- I just didn't want to assume-"

"Or is it because I'm out with Matt?" Eddie continues like Richie hadn't even spoken. "Because I barely even know him, Rich. I was just in a good mood and we both needed to eat. It doesn't- I don't know if he's even gay."

Richie feels green. "He's cute," he says neutrally. "He's there. You're drunk."

"Richie."

He shakes his head, rubs his palms against the denim on his knees. "I know, I know. I'm being stupid because I miss you and I missed today and I- I'm sorry."

Eddie eyes go big and wistful. "I would never- Rich, I've spent the entire time since I've met him waxing poetic about you. Besides business shit, you're the only thing we've talked about. He's probably getting sick of it, honestly."

The sudden leap of his stomach makes him want to puke. "It's okay, Eds, you don't have to-"

"Richie," Eddie cuts him off. He pulls the phone closer to his face. "Richie, I'm crazy about you. You know, sometimes-" He laughs, blushes, glances away for a second. Richie wants to look at him forever. "Somtimes after we hang up, I jerk off to the memory of the sound of your voice. It's kind of pathetic. I'm completely gone on you, is the point I'm making."

"I-" he stops himself. He'd sworn at least a hundred times over the passed year that he wasn't going to say it until Eddie is in front of him. And he's going to keep that promise. "You're- you're everything, sweetheart. I- You know how I feel about you, don't you, Eddie?"

Eddie's smile is blinding. "Yeah, I think you waiting on me for almost a year while I got my shit together is a pretty big clue."

Richie grins back.

"I have to go settle the tab," Eddie says after a moment.

"You could call me," Richie tells him, "when you get back to your room. Jerk off to my actual voice, instead of the memory. I could say something worth jerking off to."

Pink rises on Eddie's cheekbones and flushes down onto his neck, right where Richie wants to bite him. "Thanks, now I have to go back in there at half mast."

"Oh, you are so very welcome. No need to thank me. The pleasure's all mine, really." The sad thing is, he isn't lying. Nothing gets him going faster than the mere idea that Eddie wants him. The evidence of it, the confession, has him rock hard in his pants already.

"You're insufferable."

"Insatiable, Edward. The word is insatiable."

Eddie rolls his eyes with a chuckle. "I'm going to call you in 45 minutes," he promises.

Richie nods. "I'll have my script ready. The never ending list of things I'd do to corrupt the pure and innocent Eddie Kaspbrak."

"Insufferable!" He pauses, still smiling even though he's griping. "45 minutes."

"I'll be here, Eds." He flushes with the honesty of it. "I'll always be here."

[miyochan]

This is my first time asking a request so I'm a lil nervous. I was thinking of how would chuuya, aku, and ranpo would deal with being jealous, sorry if it's too much to ask. ^^""

Hallo darling! Their is no need to be nervous. You did amazing and I'm really thankfull that you did request something. I had fun to write them and I hope you like them. Sorry that it took me some time to get them done! ❤

🍷Chuuya🍷

🖤okay listen to me please

🖤this boys is loyal to the bone to you and trust you with all his heart

🖤he loves you and you love him

🖤i also think that he wont be in a relationship with you if he wont trust you completly

🖤so its not really in his nature to get jealous easy

🖤if a random guy try's to flirt with you and you say you are in a relationship than there is know drama

🖤(will problaly give you a kiss)

🖤if you are in a conversation with a guy and the guy is a bit to friendly and you dont get it

🖤he will just join you and sneak a arm around your waist and pull you close

🖤will maybe give the guy a glare who sends him running

🖤but holy if someone males you comfortable or dares them self to touch you any way he will send them flying

🖤you have to get fancy hat boy off them otherwise they wont see the light of the next day

🖤he would get more jealous if its someone you knew like a good friend

🖤bby boy will be so clingy its cute

🖤its not like he dont trust your friends (it is) he just wants you to be safe

🖤how i allready said he trust you with his whole heart but he doesent trust others

👻Akutagawa👻

🖤oh noo he is so insecure honey

🖤he gets so easy jealous its not funny

🖤he always has this doub in his mind that you can find someone better or stronger

🖤(i feel so bad for him please love him)

🖤he trust you really he does but he is so insecure

🖤its enough if somone is just only friendly talking with you that they get a side glare

🖤if someone should really try to flirt with you you wont even have the chance to say no to them

🖤in a damn sec they have rashomon on their throat and get a death glare

🖤if you think this is worse just imagine what happen when someone trys to touch you

🖤at first they will be dragged into a dark allway and then rashomon will pin them against a wall

🖤aku doesent fight with his hands often but these guy will get a fist into their face

🖤you wont regonize their face

🖤if they dont say sorry in a few seconds rashomon is destroying them

🖤you of course wont see anything from that

🖤(might use rashomon the create something like a eyemask)

🖤he loves you really and he trust you but he is really scared that you find someone better

🍡Ranpo🍡

🖤this boy is a mix between aku and chu

🖤he trust you but he doesent trust others but somtimes will be scared that you find someone better

🖤let me explain please

🖤ranpo always say he is the best and stuff like this but when it comes to you its different

🖤he cant protect you physically and being in a relationship with him brings your life in danger

🖤he will be clingy

🖤like really really clingy

🖤you know private space? not anymore

🖤gets easy jealous and will show it

🖤you just will have a problem when he doesent show it

🖤he will be quit and avoid you a bit

🖤you have to comfort him and tell him that you love him very much

🖤(maybe buy him some sweets)

🖤he cant defend you physically but holy

🖤he will make the other person trembel with fear when he is done with them

🖤he will hold them  a monologe about everything their done in their life and pic every bad thing out they did

🖤if someone gets really on his nerves he will aks someome from the ada to deal with them

🖤he loves you so please love him too

I hope you liked them and that it was fun to read. If you found any errors in my grammar you are welcome to correct me. I would be thankfull for that!❤

[pientrop]

Can I change my life in one day?

Alright, so maybe the answer to this question is too subjective and indefinite, but in this blog entry I will explain what i mean, kind of.

So yesterday night I had a conversation that opened my eyes. This morning when I woke up, I felt like I needed to write about it here. Monica called, and we talked about our days kind of. I didn’t want the conversation to derive to the Almond situation, but it did. I didn’t want it to be this way but it was inevitable. Things needed to be talked, I guess a message needed to be delivered, or something. Monica said she is afraid I might be giving too much of myself to people who don’t appreciate me, and that this might be a self esteem issue. I thought, whut, I ain’t giving too much, it’s just that I’m so special, a bit of me already feels like a lot. But nope, the truth is I definitely give too much, like I did in the Almond situation, when it was OBVIOUS that the other person was not as invested. Right, so in my mind I admitted to Monica’s remark, yeah, didn’t say it out loud right away though, classic. Then she said: Thing is, you grew up thinking you needed to love people who were not so emotionally functional, and you might be expecting love to be like this, and might end up being in relationships that don’t make you happy. 

So the Almond situation has brought 3 people in my life to tell me something similar. That I’m giving too much to people who don’t appreciate me. I will not enter into much details. Thing is, I agree. I need to work on this. Good, good, an opportunity to get going down the path of being happy and avoid putting myself in situations that will make my life less enjoyable. Cool.

So today I decided to start working in my life, because although I hate the routine of being in my room most of the day and learn and learn things online, or basically just listen to teachers talk about topics I am several chapters behind in, life is still there so, I should live it and try as many things that I think will make me feel happy as I can. Today I took on a couple things, it’s ambitious. Number one: Writing the intentions of the day in the morning, before starting school and all that. Number two: Tracking all my activities in a google calendar. Number three: Having a mirror on my desk. And reading. So basically, I am trying to get into a productivness flow, and hoping for this to teach me things about myself, and to enjoy every moment for what it is, a moment, in my life. 

This might not be the coolest blog entry, because although the title says I’m going to change my life in one day and the actual entry talks about things that happened in the last 15 hours (besides it being quite literal), it’s the fact that every single day in life is an amazing adventure what makes this entry so amazing and this moment, and all the intentions that are growing in my heart. The spaghetti in a bowl my life is in the universe is being stirred as I write, sometimes slowely, somtimes hungrily and so on. So yes, my life can change in a day because every day’s little events and our decisions in every day shape the curve of our lives’ function. My day changes today because today I decided I want to start tracking my daily routines and activities, because I decided I don’t want to repeat the pattern of falling for someone who doesn’t appreciate me, because I decide I want to feel better and work on myself even if it’s difficult, even when I don’t see why, because every moment is an adventure, and this adventure is the adventure of my life. Also because I got a mirror. ;)

[ff-imagines]

may I ask for an oblivious m!a who gushes abt everything n their compliments r lowkey flirty but they have no clue and salty is just like 🥺💕💕💕💕💕

Salty with a MA who compliments him a lot

• the first thing he thought upon summoning you was ‘hehe new person to tease’

• “are you happy to see me? I’m really happy too, because now, I have a new toy!”

• he didn’t expect you to walk straight over to him and give him the biggest smile

• oh no you’re cute

• “I am happy! Very happy! I’ve been working to summon you for months, you’re exactly what I’ve been looking for!”

• OH NO YOURE VERY CUTE

• he tries to play it off like he’s not flattered

• “is that so? Ha, you’re determined for a plaything, aren’t you?”

• you shrug, and give another big toothy smile

• “I guess so. You seemed worth the effort. Also, you’re very handsome!”

• aaaand there goes his heart

• he’s tried to shoo you off by being rude before, he’s tried teasing, poking fun at you, no matter what you’re still so kind to him??

• “you’re just a toy and nothing more. I don’t need you to worry.”

• “I know you don’t need me too, but I still do. You’re special to me, salty! I care about you!”

• so he’s kinda stopped trying to be mean to you and now he’s just highly confused

• somtimes you’ll stop him and just gush about him

• “salty! Your eyeliner looks even sharper today, I’m almost jealous of your skill!”

• “you look really good today, well, you always do, but you know!”

• “I really like your eyes, you know? They’re really pretty~”

• “I could hear you playing guitar the other day, you’re really amazing at it!”

• it should be medically impossible for a heart to be beating as fast as his but here we are

• your kindness is almost suspicious to him honestly

• he hides in his room for a day or two, only coming out late at night to get something to munch on

• one night he’s out late and about to grab a snack when he hears talking

• your voice, and someone else he can’t pinpoint

• “and of the fallen coming from the east? Have we found any source?”

• ah. A master chef come to discuss things.

• he kinda stands there, not sure whether he should let his presence be known.

• “not yet. But I trust my team. We’ll start checking closer to the eastern borders.”

• ugh. Such a boring conversation.

• “I’m not sure. Your team captain seems rather hot headed. How can you trust someone who can barely hold his temper?”

• wait, salty is team captain

• ‘holy shit this persons talking about me’

• he’s ready to turn the corner and yell at the stranger when he hears a soft chuckle

• “He’s nothing to worry about. I trust him more than you know. You’re not being fair, he’s smarter than you give him credit for.”

• “I think you’ve just got a soft spot for him.”

• you’re raising your voice now

• “maybe. Or maybe you won’t accept he’s reliable based only off of what you’ve heard.”

• “what I’ve heard about him doesn’t convince me-“

• “I don’t need you to be convinced. I need you to understand he’s more than the rumors tell you he is. Be better than this, friend. I care for him, and I trust him. That should be enough for you.”

• the stranger sighs, and talks softly, not wanting to overstep again.

• “if you say so. At any rate, it’s late. I’ll not keep you longer.”

• and they leave, salty is still behind the corner, smiling to himself now

• you defended him against someone who’s you’re superior, that could’ve been ugly had the stranger been someone more prideful and defensive...

• your kindness is very obviously true if you’re willing to risk insubordination in order to defend his name...

• so he kinda accepts you��re just like this and tries to return it as a way to tease you, instead of being rude

• “hello salty! You’re looking even better each day!”

• “that so? Maybe one day I’ll catch up to you then~”

• he goes out of his way to find you and compliment you the same as you do for him, dropping the toy spiel pretty quickly

• but salty is a little more handsy than you are

• “ah, there you are attendant. Cooking again, I see? Mind if I join you?”

• he hugs you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder

• he gets a big toothy smile and is told to be your taste tester that night~

• he likes this new flirting game, and the other food souls can see his change in demeanor as well

• he’s a lot less quick to anger, he smiles more

• he also seems more eager to get back to the restaurant and almost always has to find you immediately after returning so he can greet you

• everyone can tell he’s got it bad, but he’ll always be nervous to say anything about it...

• he’s pretty content with his enormous little crush for now

• optimism and positivity really makes a difference to him, and he likes this new hopeful feeling more than he cares to admit~

[irenerei-n-svt]

UNIVERSITY STUDENT AU WITH READER (part 2)

WARNING,LONG POST

I forgot to mention Jun when he is correcting your pronunciation, he will tend to have much larger gesture cos he got excited.

You will be trying to shape your mouth and tongue position by following his instructions.

When you are struggling in some pronunciation, he would to reach out his hand wanna help shape your lips directly but will brakes and pulls back his hand. (He is not doing it on purpose he just got excited and happy but then remembered "personal space" lol)

And gestures while explaining how the shape should be in front of his mouth.

When explaining grammar, he would write down on your paper so that you could refer to it.

By the end of the note, he will draw a cat face. Each time different ones.

Sometimes he will write similar terms too so that you can get heads up beforehand. He will keep it simple to not confuse you.

These are the moments he use 약간이렇게 (yakkan irokke)/like/ (metaphors describing) alot.

THE MORE HARDER IT IS TO EXPLAIN, THE MORE EXCITED HE WILL BE LOL

So you continued the Chinese course so that you can keep in touch with Jun

He was delighted that you choose to learn more

Btw you passed the speech test with flying colors

You wanna give him a thank you gift for helping you out. But you have no idea what does Jun likes. You noticed he do listens to music often and playing his phone alot. But those does not work as good hint to you.

Thankfully you met Minghao in campus. He was alone and you dashed towards him without hesitation, feeling that he will give you the best answer since you know Jun and Minghao are close

Minghao: " Thank you gift? Jun does not really need those. Buy him a meal or some snacks as a treat will do. Btw he likes spicy stuffs. "

(Is ur choice if you want the reader stand in to be good at spicy food or bad at it )

Minghao probably : " You like Jun don't you?"

That, hits you hard. You wanna deny it at the first few seconds, but then Minghao's gaze was like "You won't fool me yo"

Minghao: "I knew him for some time already. So I can tell that Jun is, popular. He knew he got looks but quite dense somtimes. "

You told Minghao that yes you have a crush on Jun. And hoped he could keep it a secret. Minghao promised.

You thanked him and wanna leave but Minghao called you back.

Minghao :" That's it? You are not gonna ask for my help to get Jun?"

You be like it's ok. You would wanna try yourself. Because you think you should not be asking for Minghao's help on things like this. And then you excused yourself.

But Minghao feel that you are quite different with others. Long story short, some people will just directly hope Minghao to help them create chances for them to be with Jun. But when Jun politely rejects, some of them thought its was Minghao who backstabbed. Which Minghao dislikes that a lot.

And so Minghao also dropped his guard towards you. And planned to help you secretly. (You won't know it)

After the speech test thing, you have gotten the hang of how Chinese pronunciation works so lesser the derp faces to appear.

Move ahead to next session of Chinese crash course. More new terms to learn and seeing you struggle, Jun asked if he could draw in your textbook. Then he scribbles some illustrations to it. With picture you remember easier.

You are amazed at his drawing skills. You thought he only draws the cat face, but he can draw even more.

Then you asked Jun if he is free on upcoming weekend. You straightforwardly says that you planned to bring him to have some nice food. As an appreciation for helping you so much

Jun's expression lighten up when he heard it.

Jun :"Really?! Wow!"

Jun: "Oh by the way, you won't really mind if I bring Minghao together too right?"

That moment you believed Minghao's claim on Jun being dense sometimes.

Again, this will be long, so let's meet again in part 3

[m1a1t7t]

A while back me and my friends played the D&D campaign of Waterdeep Dragon Hiest. Honestly it was a blast. It had us guessing one minute, on the edge of our seat the next, and perpetually laughing as we saw what crazy thing our barbarian was going to do next. Naturally I had to draw our little group and share them with you guys. I highly recomend you get the campaign book if you play D&D and need a new game to start. From left to right:The dark elf is known as William and unfortunately he was only there for three sessions. His player had to go back to the Citadel which is too bad I like playing with him. Not sure if the party could handle it thoughg as a lot of the enimies we fought were dark elves....stupid Drow.... Next is the blue dragonborn zelot barbarian, Stitch. Whoo boy, where to begin. I love Kate, Stitch's player. she is the living embodyment of a barbarian if there ever was one. Whenever the chipos were down and there was a big baddie, just toss Stitch at 'em and problem solved. I swear funnies thing she ever did was killing an Axebeak and using it's head as a trowing weapon.....Completely missed, but still scared the crap out of all the bad guys. Below Stitch with the cat ears is our first ranger, Ada. She was played by my sister who had to juggle this and basketball so she didn't get to play as much. But she eventually got herself a panther companion (not pictured here) named Bageera. Wicked with a bow it was nice sometimes to sit back and let her and Arlavon to use the badguys as pin cusions The tall human next to Stitch is our cleric Deltos. If weebs existed in Faerun, Deltos would be #1 on that list. He was absolutely devoted to his god, Helm, and basically covered his room in Helm paraphernalia. Hats posters and even pajamas he had it. But beyond that, he was just as chaotic somtimes as Stitch which was fun to watch him basically force mount a gryphin three times. But at least he was a darn good healer. Next up is our other ranger, the elf Arlivon. It seems like this guy was always getting into trouble. Be it stealing gold from nobles without the party knowing or slipping laxatives into drinks to ruin another party member's date; it was alweays interesting with him. The entire grouop agrees the the funniest thing that ever happened in a session was the "Rat Aids" incedent which specifically focused on Arlavon. It's too long a story so I'll have to share that elsewhere. Beneath Arlavon is our pet baskalisk Sazzy. Stitch apparently thought it was a good idea for us to raise a stone-gazing poison-biteing little monstrosity. But after a rough start, Sazzy is part of the family now and he even managed to kill a Gazer all on his own. (Kinda easy when the creature is all eyes.) Next to Sazzy is our very monkey monk Fei. Fei is super sweet and loads of fun, but without a doubt she and Stitch are out biggest damage dealers. one time the enemy summoned a Zombie beholder. Stitch landed one solid hit and took out half its hp, Fei went all JoJo and "Ora ora ora" the thing so it only had 1 hp left. Then Ada came along and stabbed it with her dagger in the back and ended it all before it could do anything. It was glorius. The half-elf prancing around above Fei is Piper, our bard. Piper was surprisingly veritile character, performing one minute, reading somneone's mind the next, and then killing a giant worm monster by making it's head explode. Her absolute favorite spell was Cloud of Daggers where she would set up an area of floeating daggers that would reduce all caught in it to mince meat. Can't tell you how many times we had to clean off minced bad guy off our clothes. The last player character was my human fighter, Siegmund. Not nessicarily the brightest, he makes up for it by being really nice and the cook of the group which is epecially handy since we own our own bar and tavern. I roll really terribly when it comes to hitting things so thank God I have commanding strike. It was awesome to be able to give my allies an extra shot at hitting the bad guys, especially being able to command our archers from afar. Last but certanly not least the floating eyeball is our DM. Bless this man for putting up with all of our shenanigans. He was amazing at bringing the story to life and even coming up with parts on the fly just for our indiviual charaters. (Not to mention handleing six of us at once.) We truly could not have asked for a better DM. This went a little long so if you're still here. Thanks for reading all of it and I hope you enjoy!

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Guess who’s back - and with a bang? Like actually a bang. My lovely roomate is back home and yes, with a bang. I don’t get it, why didn’t she just move in with her boyfriend? He seem to be here all the fucking time either way.

That was not even why I wanted to write to you. I’ve tried composing a letter for like two days now, but the words dosn’t seem to get right. I just have alot on my mind and I’m so up and down. One day I’m happy and the next I’m so sad and just want to die. I’m confusing myself tbh, and I just don’t get it. I don’t know, it feels like i’m faking everything, or that is a dream. Somtimes I just “wake up” and i’m like wtf, do I actually live here, what am I doing? I’m not ready for stuff you know? Also I can’t stop living in the past, like I revisit memories from like 5 years ago all the time, and it’s just ugh, why can’t I move on from shit? I want to tell you so much about my past and about everything but I don’t know how to. My brain won’t work like it should and it’s frustrating. And I feel like im failing school. I got so much schoolwork and I just procrastinate it and we recently did an interview thing - the one I told you about - and it turned out so ugly and idk, I just want a new start again, but I can’t keep moving away as soon as stuff gets rough, right? I feel presured for alot of reasons. Both of my brothers are doing good. One has a stable girlfriend and just a nice life and the other is really succesful and gets really good work-oppertunites all the time, and im jealous. Sure I’m the youngest, but I still feel like I should have accomplished more than I have. I can’t even get a boyfriend you know?

Or like, the people I like, don’t like me back. I often think that people never like me, in that way you know, but these past few years I kind of realize that it’s a lie. Let’s go through the people I know had had a crush on me - just to boost my confidece, shall we? First, there was G. This was really just a crush, because we didn’t know eachother at all. He was in the year over me, and you know, somepeople you just flirt with. I often found him staring at me, and I remember this one time, he was walking past me, up the stairs, with his friends, and time just stopped. As he walked he turned around and looked at me. And lit truly felt like time stood still. Then his friends grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away. After G, there was O. O and I were in the same class, but completly opposite groups. I was the awkward, quiet one, that nobody really knew, and he was more like the “popular” crew. He was the only one shorter than me. We talked a bit, nothing to much, and then one day, his friends just started to joke with him whenever I was around or telling me that he thought I was pretty. Anyway, let’s move on to D. D is amazing and i’ve had a crush on him too, but that was never anything speciall. We cuddeld a bit and walked home togheter. It was sweet and innocent. And then there was M. This is a bit of a weird one. M is older than me, by quite a bit. He was the one I saw as an older brother for alot of the time, until one day. I had been on like a gamenight, and it was only him and we left. And I don’t know how we got to that point, but we were spooning on a couch, and just like talked for hours. After that he drove me home and, instead of getting out of the car, we talked some more. This was like 5 years ago and we kind of drifted apart, but just a few months ago, we met at a wedding and he asked me about my boyfriend and stuff like that, mind you, i’m single. It was kind of awkward but he looked happy when I said it. Then there’s B. B is just an awkward story of one of those times you just are nice to someone and they take it the wrong way. He was were obvious and just cringey. He asked me to prom and I said no. And then there’s H. I told you about him before - the one that got away before it even was something - yeah him. At some point, we basically were togheter and then it never happened. I’m probably gonna rant more about him some other day. Last one for today must be C. C is the guy I probably should have gone with. He is perfect (H is perfect too but eh). First time I really connected with C, I’ve mentioned before. We had had one thing before that, I once spent the night with him. Nothing much, we just spooned and that was it. Then there was the time where everyone thought I was sick, but he saw that I really just was feeling shit. So he took me for a walk, brought blankets, and we sat by the waters for hours. He talked on and on and then asked me how I was. And I just broke down and I could not stop crying and he said the rigth things and kept asking what was wrong even though I said nothing. “nobody cries that much for no reason”. And he kept me company and just talked with me. The day after, he sent me a message “I truly ment what I said yesterday, I am here if you ever need to talk. I just want you to be happy”. And we chatted for a bit. He invited me to his birthday, with loads of his family there and it was fun. He came to visit me anothertime and it was perfect. We cooked togheter, took care of the dishes togheter, watched a movie, showed eachother bad youtubeclips. We went for a walk and sat by the lake for hours. He wanted us to skinnydip, but me, being way to selfconsius, said no. And it started raining,  so by the time we got home, we were soking wet. And we shared bed, we spooned and cuddeld. I could feel that he wanted more, but I was being a coward again. The next morning he baked scones for breakfast, and we ate in bed. He took a shower and casually walked into my room with only a towell around his waist. And a few weeks after he wrote to me again, wanted to check up on me, and wondered if I was okay with us sleeping togheter/all that. He was just sweet and actually seemed to care. Maybe he was the one that got away.

Anyway, that must be it for today. I really got to sleep now, but thank you for being here as always. I don’t know what I would do without you. Also, thanks for letting me rant about boys.

Love, Milla

[uvelasrainstorm]

Rainstorm #712022-9:50am

So many years of accomplishments so many years of doing amazing things and feeling sad or unfulfilled cause I don’t have anyone to share it with, no one to smile at and know they are happy and proud of me no special plus one I know will show up and not be late or not arrive at all....I’m about to play the biggest festival of my life and there’s not ONE person who comes to mind that I can think of that I absolutely want by my side....such a strange feeling. Such a interesting feeling. To be so full of love and know so many people love me and still feel empty having to fight this emptiness having to remind myself this won’t be forever and that more things matter than having someone to share life with it feels like that’s all that matters somtimes.....I wonder if i ever find that. I wonder who will be side stage come end the of month I wonder who I’ll run too....

[ryujinzs]

bill x reader

notes: not a love story. SORRY. sorry for grammatic.

count: 1.049

I STILL LOVE YOU....

Hollywood could be like a dream somtimes, but most of it was like a goddamn and terrible nightmare. And you more than anyone else knew this when you realized that appearances prevailed more than the talent itself. For a while, you secretly got involved with the famous actor Bill Skarsgård while recording the IT Movie. You were only working as a makeup artist, but everyone knew of your great talent for acting, a gift you particularly felt a little afraid to show to the world, so you always preferred to stand behind the cameras in front of them.

Everything was going well! It was what you really thought first of all to simply collapse like an avalanche. Bill was engaged to someone else. A person who wasn't you. And suddenly, you were out of his life in an aggressive, spontaneous way. For a long time you didn't understand what happened, he had completely gone. In addition to breaking your heart, he ended up ending the friendship you guys had too.

Months have passed. The movie was very successful and was really expected. On the red carpet you looked amazing. As you smiled at the cameras and at the young actors who were as glorious as ever, Bill just could not take his eyes off you. For him, everything was wrong. He had let you go, he had indeed cut you off suddenly and besides hurting you, it hurt him too.

A time went by and a notorious director had cast you to premiere his new romance film, which was set in the eighties. Two young people in love in different worlds, the theme involved racism, social inequality, prejudice and issues that should be discussed today and for such a distant time, this was so common, but today, things were different and you as a strong woman who supported a better world without prejudice, decided to accept the paper because it contained a brilliant story behind.

However, you just didn’t know that whoever would play your romantic pair would be none other than Bill Skarsgård. The man you fought for months to forget.

You tried your best to be professional, but often your emotional was mixed with fiction and you felt extremely badly doing love scenes with a person you actually loved.

You were in your dressing room reviewing your lines for a strong scene. Where your character met Bill's character a few years later and then he simply said that he never stopped loving you, even though he had to go on with someone else. It was a bit similar to reality, but part of you knew that the part of Bill loving you wasn’t true.

You were called in the studio and after finishing your makeup for the last time, you were ready.

"Ready? Action!" The director said loudly and then just silence.

And they started recording.

"What are you doing here?" You say looking into Bill's bright green eyes. "I need to go..." You make mention of turning, but Bill holds your arm and makes you stand still looking directly into his eyes.

"Before you run away from me, I need you to listen to me" He says calmly, but his teary eyes overflowing with emotion. You always knew the skills of Bill's acting, that wasn't even a question. "It wasn't my choice. It wasn't. I spent years away from you, years trying to figure out how stupid I was to let you go. But I was wrong. And only God knows how I suffered all this time." He sighs. "Maybe nothing will make you believe me, but I want you to feel the truth in my words. I want you to feel that I'm not lying because my heart is honest when it comes to you." He takes your hand and gently holds it in your fingers and carries it to his chest where you can hear the beating of his heart. And really, his heart felt like a sledgehammer, pounding like a drum. You swallow hard and breathe deeply without even breaking eye contact with Bill. "I love you. I've always loved. I will always love. "

You felt your chest ache. Not just because you was giving yourself body and soul in the scene, but because you knew that behind such acting, there was a little truth.

"I-"

"Cut!" The director shouts and you automatically take your hand from Bill's chest and smirk a bit fake for everyone on your return. "I loved it. Let's get back to the beginning in ten minutes.”

Everyone leaves the studio and you walk to the counter where you get a bottle of water. You feel something touching your arm and you do not need to guess who it is because you know his touch.

"Hey"

"Hi" You say totally indifferent.

"Great scene, huh?"

"Yes" You smile weakly and drink some of the water.

"Can you just stop?" He asks, trying to insist.

"Excuse me?"

Bill rolls his eyes and keeps pushing.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, Bill. I do not want to talk about it " You close your eyes trying to keep in check. "Just keep doing your job and leave me alone"

"Because?"

You stare at him with tears invading your eyes.

"Because you broke my heart and I fucking hate you "

And when you were walking back to your dressing room, he just says these words, words that would make your mind get lost again.

"You can hate me, but I love you and I hope someday you can forgive me. "

You turn and bite your lips to try to contain the tears. 

Bill looks at you completely devastated. The truth could never come to light, but he knew that just like his character, he wasn't to blame for leaving you, since he never meant to hurt you. Cause you were the person with who he wanted to have children, a family, a real life.

"Don’t play with me, Bill. That’s enough"

And then you leave, turning your back on the man who loves you in secret, but you will never be able to one day know the truth.

"I'm not." He sighs and returns to the studio. "I still love you" He whispers to himself.

[bigdudez]

Innocent Game pt. 1

It started out pretty innocent. We were still in high school, so at the time we weren’t fully aware of what we were doing. His name was Nate. Obviously not really, but that’s what we’re calling him.

Nate and I had been friends since freshman year, but our social circles never intersected enough for us to get to know each other very well. It wasn’t until senior year when we had about 4 classes together we started to get to know each other very well.

Physically I had always been somewhat attracted to Nate, even if I never really thought about it. He had an adorable face, with a strong jawline and bushy eyebrows that outlined his strong features. He was one of the guys who always needed a shave, but even on the days he’d shaved that morning he had five o’clock shadow. Even back then he was tall, quite a bit taller than me. I hadn’t asked, but I figured he was about 6’0 or 6’1”. He had broad shoulders, thick arms and wide chest. The shirts he wore covered him, but always stretched at the arms and around his pecs. His legs were pretty meaty too, and even his neck was surprisingly huge. Apparently this was because he played a bunch of sports like football, wrestling, and lacrosse in the different seasons, so he worked out a lot. In addition to that he had a thick gut, not huge, but just enough to show through his shirt and drive me crazy. Thanks to the fact I’d always been into bigger guys, he was eye candy on top of being a fun dude to talk to during class.

We would mostly talk about school work in the beginning, but when we both found we had the same taste in music and sense of humor, we started to hang out during lunch and before school as well. As we got closer, I noticed myself gazing at him more and more. I liked how tight his sleeves fit, the way he filled out his jeans, and how his tummy was always visible through his shirt. He had this way of standing right up near me so that I couldn’t help but smell him, raising his arms while leaning on the wall to show off his hairy, sweaty armpits from his morning workouts. When he lifted up his arms like that, of course his midriff and belly button would show, along with his treasure trail. With his height he had to look right down at me to talk, and his smile was so pure and earnest I would feel myself blush whenever I made him laugh. It was pretty great, but somtimes it felt like torture.

We began a game one lunch, I don’t remember how we got on the topic, but we started talking about how much he seemed to always eat. At first he seemed a bit shy about it, but when I expressed how cool (but mostly hot) I thought it was, he seemed to relax about it. He even started to get cocky about it. That was when it really started, and it was kinda my fault. Well mostly, okay maybe like 90% my idea. At the time it was just to see if he would say yes.

“You should see if you could eat everything I feed you” I said with a smirk. He looked at me and chuckled with that adorable smile, but I just kept looking to show I was serious.

“Alright, lets do it little man.” He said, flexing, puffing out his chest and patting his gut. I knew he liked to eat and show off, but this was going to get me hard in the cafeteria if I wasn’t careful. Somehow my suggestion had brought out a weirdly cocky side to him I had never seen.

I went into the lunch line again and came back with two trays. The lunch lady had given me a slightly confused look, but ultimately said nothing as I paid. On each of the trays there was a serving of pasta, cheesy bread, milk carton, and a pudding cup. This wasn’t actually much of a challenge, so I went to extra mile to buy a large bag of chips.

Knowing this still probably wouldn’t be enough, an evil idea crept into my mind.

***

“What took so long? Jeez I’m only gonna have like 15 minutes to eat whatever you brought.” He said impatiently when I returned. I just silently smiled at him and set down the trays. He looked at them and smirked back.

“Is that it? Thought this was supposed to be hard or something” he said, laughing and grabbing the plastic fork from one of the trays. He immediatly started to chow down and was making good progress. The pasta from both trays was gone within a few minutes, and the bread and pudding soon followed. The chips took a little longer, but in the end he ate them all too. When he got to the milk he popped open the cartons and downed them both within 30 seconds. The entire time I was struggled to sit still, partly because I found suprisingly cute stuffing his face like that, but also because I couldn’t wait to reveal my suprise.

“UUURP! Well, done with no problem” he said with a wide smile.

“Here, for good measure,” he said, picking up one of the trays and actually licking it clean of the sauce and grease from the pasta. I thought I was going to loose it for a minute there. Then he picked up the other tray and did the same thing.

“Well, admit it. I won easily,” and patted his stomach. Bloated a bit, and I wished more than anything to reach out and rub it. But I had one more trick.

“Hold on, we said whatever I gave you to eat, and I still have one thing left,” I said with the most evil smile I’ve ever given. I grabbed a bottle from behind me, but not just any bottle. A two gallon bottle filled with water.

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, Nono. First of all, this was an agreement over food, not water. Secondly, we’ve only got like 5 minutes left, and I’d throw up if I tried to chug that thing. Third, where the hell did you get that.” He questioned, looking fairly queasy all of a sudden.

“Actually, you already drank the milk cartons, and I already added some water flavoring so that part is invalid. Secondly you’re the one who said he would eat everything by the end of lunch so that’s on you. Thirdly I told one of the football guys you wanted to borrow one for practice, and he had and extra if you can believe it. So what’s it gonna be?” I asked challengingly.

I wasn’t sure if he would go with it, but he just stood up, looked me dead in the eye, popped of the cap, and started chugging. It was when he stood up that people noticed. Most people ignored it until he actually started to make progress. Not even stopping to take a breath, he kept chugging that bottle. As he went on he definitely started to look queasy, but after he had half of it drained people around us actually started to cheer. The whole time I’m not sure if he even noticed, because he never broke eyecontact with me. It was exciting, but also kind of terrifying. His dark brown eyes were like daggers into my soul, and in three more heavy gulps he was done. Almost the entire 5 tables around us all applauded and cheered, even if it was in a sarcastic way. He sat down after that, looking seriously bloated. His stomach was most definitely sticking out more than it had been a 15 minutes ago.

“UUURP!” He let out a wet sounding burp and covered his mouth, like he was about to hurl.

“Shoot, okay you know what, I’m sorry about that. That was just mean of me, bad idea. Are you good dude?” I asked concerned, and genuinely unsure if he would throw up, “Wanna go to the bathroom or the nurse?”

“Nah I’m good. Thanks though,” he said standing. He was a little wobbly, but his gut was defiantly bigger than before. He didn’t quite seem alright, but the way he was rubbing his gut with his big hands made me loose my focus.

“Honestly that was pretty fun dude. It hurts now but man, in the moment it felt almost hot.” He said, I figured he was messing with me, and when I looked up to study his expression he started chuckling.

“Don’t worry yeah I was kidding,” he said, “although I’m gonna piss like a fucking fountain later today.”

We walked off to our next class, which was one we didn’t have together. The whole time taking notes in class I was pretty hot and bothered by the image of Nate’s gut sticking out like that. The way his arm flexed while holding up that bottle. I felt bad that I had used him that way, but damn his shirt had gotten so much tighter in such a small amount of time. It got me thinking about the possibilities.

“Crap I should stop now. Maybe I should go for a walk to take my mind off it,” I thought to myself. After our teacher got through the notes, i finished the inclass worksheet we were assigned . With nothing else to do to take my mind off it, I asked to go to the bathroom to kill some time.

When I walked in I saw a familiar haircut from the back, with Nate of course standing at the urinal.

“Nate, how are you? You seemed pretty queasy after lunch,” I said, trying to gauge if he was angry with me at all.

“I’m alright dude. No worries, the only thing is I’ve been pissing for like two minutes already and I haven’t let up yet.” He said, looking back at me with that smile.

I listened to the sound of a strong stream hitting the side of the urinal, doing my best not to look like I was looking.

“Oh damn. How much longer do you think you can keep it up?” I asked, mostly just intrigued by the thought of him holding himself.

“Not sure, but probably for a while still, I feel like the tanks still pretty full,” he said as he shook himself up and down a bit to adjust.

The incredible thing was is that he was right. The stream went on strong for another few minutes, and even as it died down it still kept going for at least another 2. I wasn’t quite sure why, but I found it somewhat hot.

“Damn that took forever, but wow did I need to piss,” he said relaxing, leaning his head back a bit to smile at me.

“Holy crap Nate that was at least like 5 minutes! Jesus have you not used the toilet at all before this!?” I asked, amazed at how long he had gone.

“No I guess not, but when you gotta go you gotta go,” he replied, shaking himself off and zipping up his fly. He went over to wash his hands, and wiped them on his shirt.

“Damn though man, my gut feels stretched super high still,” he said rubbing it, “you gotta feel this man!” He said, going right up to me in the dominating way he did. Suddenly he was grabbing my hands and pushing them into his stomach. It was rock solid, the fabric was stretched tight, and it felt like his skin was too. It was too much, and I felt overstimulated with desire. I had to get out before I did something would regret.

“Yeah, damn, tight. Look I’ve been gone a while better get back to class,” and I ran out the bathroom door and back to class, kicking myself for bailing so quickly.

[itskirahhh]

Tips when you're having a down day

1) Still try and do that thing. Don’t push yourself if you reeeeeaaaaallyyy feel like shit, but if you have plans with a friend or you have somewhere to be like work or college, try your hardest to still make it. You might feel a bit shitty but they might cheer you up or take your mind off of the situation. Chances are if you’re having a really bad day your friends or work colleagues will pick up on it and try their best to cheer you up. Besides, they are there to rant to if you need to.

2) Speak. Socialise. Even if all you want to do is lie in bed and not speak to anyone, even if you feel annoying or like you don’t know what to say. There is normally someone out there who will want to speak to you. You’re not alone, no matter how alone you seem to think you are. Message an old friend, message a new friend, message your best friend, message your girl/boyfriend, MAKE a new friend even. Someone will want to speak to you or will enjoy having a conversation with you and it might make both of you feel better for talking to each other.

3) Do something productive. Have you got an assignment from a month ago that’s in for next week that you haven’t even started? Same. Do it. Try your best to do as much as you can do because you will more than likely be thankful you did so afterwards. Even little things like tidying your desk, drawing something, reading a book, washing up, making yourself dinner, brushing your cat etc etc. It will make you feel better. Some people make lists of what they’ve achieved, from ‘waking up at 6:45’ to ‘completing my assignment’ (both of which i did today, woo), they all matter and will contribute towards you feeling better about yourself as you can see what you have achieved.

4) Lucky charms. I don’t mean eat a bowl of cereal, i mean that sometimes it’s nice to feel like you have a little lucky charm with you all day. Although maybe it’s tedious and cheesy, i feel like they work for me. I have a bracelet that i got from my best friend that i somtimes wear when I’m feeling shitty about how i look, and although when i got given it it had nothing to do with being lucky, for some reason it calms my mind. I think it’s because it reminds me of the nice things they’ve said that contradict the thoughts in my mind so it gives me some sense of comfort. Other things i can think of are my yellow t-shirts, the pillow i have made from one of my dad’s jumpers and probably some more.

5) One of the things that works for me sometimes is to put pride into my apprearance. Sometimes i wake up and I’m like nah, and i will go wherever I’m going with unwashed hair, a bare face and in leggings and a hoodie. But sometimes doing my makeup or having a shower will make me feel good about myself, and if I’m having a down day then it will make it ten times better if i feel like i look good. Even small things like finding the motivation to brush your hair or washing your face will hopefully help you to feel like you did something.

6) Put music on. I’m one of those people who listens to 'mood music’, which means my DEPRESSING PLAYLIST when i feel sad, my Rave/Prom songs and Aiden’s Banging Tunes playlist when i feel like singing and dancing and so on. For some people sad music isn’t a good thing to listen to when you are sad, and they say that you should listen to happy music to make you feel happier. But to me i feel like i can connect with some of the lyrics in the sad music and idk, i guess i feel less alone in the situation I’m in. But, whatever works for you, music in the background, or playing loudly through your earphones, or crying along to it, usually helps me and i feel like it is better for someone who is having a down day than silence is.

7) Raaaaaannnnnnttttt. Rant your heart out, be it to a friend, on your tumblr, in a secret diary, to your family, to your fish, through artwork, through a song, whatever. For me i find it good to rant as i get everything off of my mind. Sometimes ranting may not help the actual situation at all, but getting it off your mind is usually beneficial.

8) Eat and drink. Do not lie in bed thinking “i really cannot be bothered to go all the way downstairs and make something to eat” and yeah, i know it’s hard. But it’s important to eat and drink something in the day just to keep you healthy. I have a bottle of water next to my bed so even if i feel like not moving then at least i cannot die of dehydration. I also currently have half a tub of treeselets (tiny christmas tree versions of cheeselets, little cheesy crackers☺) on my desk that are there to eat if i need to. But yeah, make sure you eat or drink something.

9) Think positive. Again, hard, i know. All you want to do when you feel like shit is lie in bed and dissolve into your pit of shittiness thinking you’re shit and everything around you is shit and you’re being treated like shit and whatever you need to do is shit. But, think positive. As cliché as it may be, think to yourself that you’re not so shit, that you can prove yourself against what you think everyone thinks, stick up for yourself, you can do that work you have, you can get up and go shower etc. Sometimes i message my friends asking for reassurance, sometimes i find messages where my friends have written me happy birthday and have written nice things about me, sometimes i look through my school yearbook and again at things people have written about me. But keep your mind positive.

10) Do whatever you need to to get yourself back to being the amazing person you are.

[duhragonball]

Sorry about all the weird asks you been getting, Here is an actual question: What do you think of Bray Wyatt's current fiend character?

Technically, this should be addressed on the wrestling blog, but I get them mixed up myself all the time, and let’s be real: duhragonball > buttdawg >>> imatlasarrestmeplease.  

In any case, I don’t have strong opinions about The Fiend, because I stopped watching WWE in October 2018, before The Fiend’s debut.   I think I have a general idea of what the character is supposed to be, but it’s probably not fair to judge it on hearsay.    So take this with a few hundred grains of salt.  

From what I understand, Bray Wyatt sort of dropped off the map for a while, then returned at... was it Summerslam ‘19?   I think it was.    He came back as the Fiend, who’s sort of like when Mick Foley switches from Mankind to Cactus Jack, only in this case The Fiend no-sells everything and he’s super strong.    Also, the Bray persona has become like this Mr. Rogers pastiche, and may not fully understand the Fiend’s actions.   

I have no idea how this Firefly Funhouse thing works.  I watched a pirated video of the John Cena “match” at WrestleMania 36, mostly because I wanted to understand what nWo Cena was supposed to be about.    I still have no idea, but I’m a huge nWo mark, so I was satisfied to see John rocking the black-and-white, even if it makes no sense.   

Actually, let me talk about nWo Cena for a minute here, because that’s been on my mind for a while, and I think it does sort of tie into Bray’s WWE career.   Okay, so for anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, Cena and Bray had a match at WrestleMania 36 which was like some sort of Twilight Zone thing where Cena kept quantum leaping into different eras of wrestling history.   He found himself in the Hulkamania era, then he relived his own debut in 2002, and for some reason he was on the set of WCW Monday Nitro, circa 1997.   There, he was wearing an nWo shirt, indicating that he was supposed to be a member of the legendary heel stable, the New World Order.   

What struck my fancy about this was that I saw John wearing the shirt and for a moment I imagined how cool it would have been if Cena really had been part of the nWo.   The group had this amazing start in the summer of 1996, but by 1997 it was running on fumes, and in 1998 they had absolutely no idea what to do with it.    After that, they just kept breaking up and reuniting over and over, trying to recapture the old magic.   There were a lot of problems with the nWo, but I think the biggest one is that there was no clear identity of the group.   Somtimes it was a bunch of cool dudes having a violent party, and other times it was Hulk Hogan’s personal cult.  Other times it was just Hall and Nash wearing matching shirts.    It didn’t matter in the early years, but when the group got older and the older members moved on, there was nothing to define what was left.   

I’ve only been watching New Japan for about a year, but I’m already impressed with how Bullet Club has managed to avoid the same problem.   Let’s face it, they’re a baldface ripoff of the nWo concept, but they have defining characteristics that don’t just rely on a specific person.   Prince Devitt (Finn Balor) was a founding member, but he’s been gone for years.   Then AJ Styles was their #1 guy, and he left.   Then Kenny Omega was their leader, and I showed up a few months after he left.     I thought the BC was doomed to decline after that, but then I saw how dominant their new leader, Jay White could be, and then they replenished their ranks with KENTA.   Generally, Bullet Club is a gaijin stable, so that sets the tone for their act rather than any single person.   If a Canadian leaves, you just get a New Zealander to replace him.   But with the pandemic keeping most of BC out of Japan, they adapted again and brought in EVIL as their new top guy.   It’s impressive to me, because NJPW figured out a way to make the nWo an evergreen angle.   They can sell those T-Shirts for the next fifty years.   

But I still miss the classic nWo, and I liked the idea that in some AU, John Cena might have formed his own nWo revival around 2011 or so, and they could have done it right.    Imagine someone with Cena’s prestige and longevity doing a heel stable like that, and when his time is over, he hands it off to another big star who can carry the torch.  “If only they had John Cena,” I thought to myself.  “He could have righted the ship.   He could have fixed it.”

Which brings me back to Bray Wyatt, because the vibe I get is that Bray’s fans seem more focused on what could be, and what might have been.   Bray’s entire WWE run feels like a running effort to fix Bray’s entire WWE run.   He started as Husky Harris in NXT, then they brought the entire NXT roster out as a new heel stable, the Nexus, and had them run roughshod over WWE, except they were mostly too green for that role, and they kept losing big matches to Cena and Orton.    Then CM Punk took over Nexus and they became his faceless sidekicks, and then they vanished altogether when Punk moved into his Pipebomb era.  

Then Husky came back as Bray Wyatt, and everyone loved the gimmick.   I never cared for it personally, because I never saw much of Waylon Mercy, and I’ve never watched “Cape Fear”.   But people loved it.   But he kept losing the big matches.   Then he comes back as The Fiend, and now he’s like invincible or something, and it seems like he’s finally on track to get the success people wanted him to have before.  

Only, I don’t think it’s worked out that well.   They made him invincible, but they don’t seem to know what to do with that.    This led to that Hell in a Cell where Seth Rollins got “disqualified” in a no-DQ match.    They literally couldn’t decide how to end the match, or who should win, so they just stopped it for no reason.    That’s a long-term WWE problem.    Vince can’t make up his mind, so he just doesn’t put anyone over.    He didn’t want Seth to look weak losing to the Fiend, even though the Fiend is literally a monster, and he didn’t want the Fiend to win the title because he’d eventually have to lose it later.    Except the Fiend did win the title eventually, only to lose it to a 50 year old Goldberg in Saudi Arabia.   So Vince’s efforts to protect the Fiend at HiaC were ultimately pointless.    

I’m not sure where the Fiend character is now, but I think he may have turned face, and Alexa Bliss is his girlfriend?  Sith Apprentice?    I see people saying she’s possessed?   Well, whatever, I like what she’s done with her hair lately.   Every time they revamp Bray, I always hear fans suggest that they’re finally going to have Sister Abagail debut.    No one even knows who or what Sister Abagail is.    She’s just a name Bray used to mention during his creepy promos, and I think Randy Orton desecrated her grave one time.    Wrestling’s pretty great.  

Here’s the thing, I’m 100% in favor of a real, live SIster Abagail character.   I’ve written a 600,000-word novel about a background character in Dragon Ball Z, and at least thirty chapters were devoted to the Shockmaster.    I remember in 1997, when everyone thought Kane was dead, and then he finally showed up and set everything on fire for the next twenty years straight.    I still want to know who the Black Scoprion really was.   If Sister Abagail turns out to be an on-screen character, it’d be amazing.   Maybe Alexa Bliss is supposed to be turning into Abagail somehow.   She needs to dress up more like a ghost, though.   

The problem is that--right now-- there isn’t a Sister Abagail, so until the real thing is introduced, it’s just a hypothetical that everyone can pin their hopes and dreams on.   “Oh once they pull the trigger on Sister Abagail, Bray will finally get the push he deserves!”   “Yeah, that last Fiend match wasn’t so hot, but it’s all building up to the big payoff when they finally bring out Sister Abagail.”   “Sister Abagail will fix it, she can right the ship.”  

What I’m worried about is that one of these years Bray’s going to retire from wrestling, hopefully on his own terms, but his fans will still be waiting for a dream storyline, long after his actual career has passed them by.   I guess there’s problems with his run, mostly systemic problems with WWE’s booking philosophies and indecision, and fans are praying for a miracle to fix it all, like John Cena in an nWo shirt.   And even if they did bring out a Sister Agagail, it would never live up to the fans’ expectations.    It just feels like everyone’s setting themselves up for a disappointment.  

And that’s one of the reasons why I quit watching WWE.   At some point I realized that there just isn’t going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, a big match that somehow makes up for all of the dumb ideas and bad finishes I’ve seen over the years.    I’m all about AEW and NJPW now, and those promotions aren’t always perfect, but they are a lot better about meeting my expectations.  

I guess, when all is said and done, my big opinion on the Fiend is that I hope Bray lets his WWE contract expire and shows up someplace else.  He’s a great talent, no denying that.   I just don’t trust WWE to do right by him creatively. I think they want to push him, but they don’t know how to push guys anymore.   

[babevogue]

Shows that made my 2017 better

So last year I made a list of shows that made my year better. Now I will say that 2016 was a FAR WORSE year than 2017 was for me. In 2016 I had academic pressure than was awful and I started a new school and all my friends ended up in different classes than me together, so that was fun. But then came 2017 and was all around just AWSOME and along with that awesome-ness came some amazing shows. Last year I just made a bullet list, but I thought that this year I should make some mini reviews, so here I go:

Fist off, my 2017 was dominated by animated shows/anime, so my eyes have really been opened to this amazing artform this year. HERE I GO:

 My hero Academia/Boku no hero Academia

What an awesome show. I watched this in November/December and I love the premise, characters and plot. It has really breathed some life into the superhero genre and is an all-together fun look at what it would be like if everyone in the world had different super-powers. It has stunning animation and the manga is also super-cool and goes in a great direction. Both the anime and manga is super-recommended.

 Favorite character(s): I love Todoroki, he is awesome (and I’m a slut for angsty backstory so…). Deku is great. Actually, can I just write every character here? except Mineta, fuck Mineta!

 Greatest qualities about the show: The character dynamics! The way the characters interact with each other is immaculate and they just fit together great. I also really like how each arc is structured and paced.

 Negatives: The girls are sometimes a little bit passive for my liking, and if there was an arc with Mineta dying I would not be mad.

Bojack Horseman

I binged this show and fell in love. What might just appear as just a wacky adult cartoon at first glance (and first couple of episodes) is actually a deep depiction of many modern-day topics and problematics such as depression, alcoholism, drug-use, sexuality, sex work, feminism, politics and of course life in Hollywoo(d). The human-like animals might be jarring at first, but it uses the character designs to its advantage with hilarious animal-puns and situations alongside making the show more lighthearted despite the shows heavy subject-matter.

 The show is about the horse Bojack who was a famous sitcom star in the `90s and his slump of a life post sitcom star life and his journey back to stardom. The blend between humor and chilling, haunting realism is amazing to watch unfold alongside clever and real character development that is beautiful to watch. Ironically the most aesthetically absurd looking show on this list has the most realistic story. Great social commentary disguised as a comedy.

 Favorite character(s): Everyone is flawed in Bojack Horseman, but the most interesting characters in this show for me are Bojack and Diane. So, I would say Diane is my favorite to observe.

 Greatest qualities about the show: The way it discusses social issues. Its stunning and thought-provoking.

 Negatives: It’s a little bit slow and odd in the beginning and some might find it a little too sad.

Rick and Morty

I discovered this show around Easter time and WOW! No show like any other on this list handles surrealism and absurdist comedy, parody and satire quite like Rick and Morty. The show about the scientist Rick and his grandson (with his grand-daughter Summer joining inn somtimes) Morty going on wacky space adventures. Ricks dick-ish nature contrasts Morty’s wide-eyed curiosity turned cynicism perfectly. The show has fun world building, alongside a great blend between one-off adventures and overarching plot. Visually the show is both stunning and disgusting making it an interesting aesthetic journey for the viewer. Funny, crazy and surprisingly deep at times. And btw watching Rick and Morty does not make you smarter nor require you to be a super-intellectual.

 Favorite character(s): Morty is always delightful.

 Greatest qualities about the show: Its really funny and has really great world building/concepts within the show.

 Negatives: It sometimes boards on a little to gross and has some growing pain in the start.

 This is kind of a shout-out to a second season of show from last year’s list so:

Stranger Things 2

Such a good “sequel”. I enjoyed every moment of the show (even the controversial Chicago episode). The characters developed, the plot developed, the new characters were amazing and tone and aesthetic from the first season was carefully preserved and used immaculately. The 80`s reference game was just as strong. For anyone who has lived under a rock the last year and a half the show (first season at least) is about the mysterious disappearance of middle-schooler Will Beyers. The year is 1983, location Hawkings, Indiana.

 Favorite character(s): Steve Harrington deserves the world in season 2. I also really like Mike.

 Greatest qualities about the show: Addicting story. SO BEAUTIFULLY SHOT! Amazing acting from everyone.

 Negatives: Ok, I lied the Chicago episodes stagnated the plot to some extent. I just don’t hate the episode as much as everyone else.

 And last but CERTANTLY not least:

 Ok so I’m cheating on this one I watched this show in January but I watched the first episode in December so I’m including it and also I’m so in love and I wanted to include it here rather than next year’s list because I want it fresh in my mind.

 Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

 So, this entry is technically 2 shows. One was created in 2003 based on a manga by the same name but diverges from the manga around the half-way point because it ran out of material to adapt and goes in its own direction. The other is from 2009 and is a straight adaption of the manga. This creates 2 shows with the same central characters, plot and starting points that diverges GREATLY from each other and they are both amazing!

 The plot goes like this; In a world where alchemy developed, you cannot create something with alchemy without having the materials that equals to what you want to make. Example: if you want to create a radio you need all the materials that make up that radio to create it. This is known as equivalent exchange and it cannot be broken.

 When the young brothers Edward and Alfonse Elric’s mother dies they try bring her back using alchemy. In the process Edward loses and arm and a leg while Alfonse loses his entire body and is only left with his soul which is now bonded to suit of armor. The brothers must seek out a way to find a way to get their bodies back.

 IT IS AMAZING! Both versions are amazing, but I slightly prefer the 2009 version also known as Brotherhood. It explores dark and philosophical themes and questions such as mass genocide, the life of the military, PTSD, fascism, war, politics, what is god/playing god, what is the price of a soul is, loss and most importantly daddy-issues.

 There is no end to how much this series deserves praise (mostly referring to Brotherhood here). From the way its gorgeously animated, to the pacing, the way it handles it subject matter and issues and has relatable characters. The character development is perfect, and the plot never meanders or goes into dead ends and concludes beautifully. Even the attention to details is impressive with examples such as the way it shows the characters physically aging and demonstrating where in timeline the scene takes place with subtle hair changes. Fullmetal Alchemist (brotherhood) is like watching someone pouring all the puzzle-pieces out on the table and watching someone cleverly and creatively putting them together, thus creating a magnificent art-piece in the in the process. I would also like to mention one of the most amazing aspects of both versions being the way female characters actions, traits, part in the plot, abilities and dialogue are some of the best female writing I have ever seen. Ironically enough in a work marked towards teenage boys.

Favorite character(s): Fullmetal Alchemist is the kind of show that I like to call having “parks and rec”-syndrome, where genually love everyone, however If I have to pick I might say Winry. I absolutly lover her and I think she is a great role model, hillarious and greatly written. 

Greatest qualities about the show: The way it deals with its subject-matter. And also everything else about the show, but especially that. 

Negatives: Nothing about the show, just a little girl and her dog that im a little tierd being meme-ed to death on reddit but also kinda laugh so im a little bit conflicted, but there is no negatives that I can think of. 

That was it, bye-bye 2017, I watched some fine televison in your year, and I hope to find some just as good in 2018. 

[solified-chanyeol-lover]

Alright, last round of questions (unless I think of more another day). Sunrises or sunsets? Which EXO album is your favorite? Do you play any instruments? What’s your favorite food? Do you have any allergies? What do you do when you get writer’s/artist’s block (is artist’s block even a thing? 🤔)? Did you/do you play any sports? And finally, hypothetically, if someone was going to write something for you, what would you want it to be about?

Awww so soon? Lol jk I'll be ready whenever you have more😁

Sunsets/sunrise? - Sunsets definitely. To me if its sunrise than its too damn early.😑😴

Favorite EXO album? - Hmm this is a difficult question. Haha if I had a choice I'd say them all. But this is one album so I'll have to say The War. I literally died when this album came out. It was such a amazing album and even to this day I still listen to every song.

Instruments? - When I was young I used to play flute...now not so much. I'm thinking of taking up guitar tho. I too played it when I was younger but it never stuck.

Favorite food? - Pizza. I'd eat it everyday if I had my choice.

Allergies? - I'm allergic to my cat. Haha but I love her so much I can't rid of her. You know really anything that has fur I'm allergic. My asthma probably has something to do with it now that I think about it.

What I do? Writers/artist's block? - Usually when I can't write its because I'm too distracted or just don't have any ideas. I normally go and read other writers books/on my other blog, hoping to maybe boost my writers mind but sometimes it doesn't work and just makes me feel bad that their writing is better😭. In the end I just give up, trying again maybe later on in the day. Artists block lol is a thing and its almost the same, except somtimes I can get back into it if I turn my music on and find a picture to help draw by.

Sports? - Now? No. Before? Yes. I wasn't very good at them though.

About a fic I hypothetically want? - Hmm I would love to write/have a book about a family. The sweetness of just being with loved ones. Maybe taking place with a fluffy pregnancy then the life with their child. Possibly throw in a fluffy romantic vanilla smut later on. Nothing like long or drawn out like usual smuts but something sweet and small. Like a couple paragraphs small 😄. I'm weird I just adore fluffy smut. I love fluff period. (So anything as such will suffice for me actually)