#my mum and dad are NUTS

[ultravioletrayz]

Sometimes I consider going no contact with my parents, but at the same time they’re my PARENTS.

They gave me life, and they raised me (not very well). It feels cruel to cut them out of my life, despite the fact that all they do is behave cruelly towards me.

I always promised myself the second I was out of that house I’d never talk to them again, but even after almost 4 years of living independently, I can’t escape them and their bullshit.

LIKE PLEASE I’M SICK AND TIRED OF DEALING WITH THE SAME DRAMA FOR OVER A DECADE 😭

[satellitesunset]

myle.txt

[violentdevotion]

starting to think thoughts. this is dangerous

[lawfuljude]

we don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just really a normal day but every one’s there which makes everything a lot worse without any respite. no gifts to solace you etc

[stupid-lemon-eater]

i was gonna say it's like my neighbour's dog has taken over from my other neighbour for sensing when my head hurts and making the Most Noise Possible™ but then i remembered rn my head always hurts and this dog is always barking

[banglatown]

.

[marieracingteam]

A Flower to a Lilybug – ls.18

stepdad!Lance Stroll | series

word count: 1612

summary: The story of how Lance finally met Lily, or the story of how Lawrence became a flower before he became a grandpa.

Lily was just two years old when Lance met her mom, which meant that Lily wasn't really aware of all that was happening in her life.

She knew she had a mum and she knew, somewhere, she had a dad. Dad, however, was never around so she didn't really think much of him or his family, whom Lily had barely met. She also knew that mum had a mum and a dad who lived far away and she only saw once or twice a year and a few more times over the phone.

But that was pretty much all. For Lily, mum was her everything –and for the most part her only thing– for her whole short life.

That was until Lance came through.

Her mum and he had been talking for a whole year before she agreed to start calling their dates dates, but not before he met her daughter and she gave them their blessings.

Lance of course had accepted her pace, how could he not when he knew she was just protecting her daughter and herself after being betrayed by her last partner?

And because he knew how much she needed everything to be perfect, he tried extra hard to make everything perfect on that first day.

Maybe a little too hard.

He had spent long hours thinking about every single detail. He had even asked his father for help like he tended to do.

Maybe that is why he was so nervous when he first met Lily. The now three years old, in response, got also shy, probably sensing the grown-ups expectations.

“Hello Lily. I am Lance, mom’s friend. Mom has told me a lot about you and I wanted to meet you” he said while offering the girl his hand.

“Hi you!” she squealed before running back into the living room where she was playing with some dolls.

However, the dinner had gone more smoothly. At least at first. Lance had relaxed enough to make conversation with the little girl and Lily had quickly forgotten that she didn't know him when he started to ask her about the things she loved.

He had thought about gifting something to the little girl, but his father had told him to not buy the girl with expensive gifts. So instead he had learned to do paper dolls like Lily's mum had told him she loved to do.

Lily was so close to liking him when her mum started to breathe strangely.

“Peanuts” she screamed, grabbing her neck and making Lance run to where she always kept an EpiPen in her bag.

If he hadn't been so worried about the woman swelling up in his backseat, he would have probably been stressed about the crying little girl he had left with his father at home.

Because he loved his father, he truly loved the old men, but he could be scary and he knew he was bringing down his chances of winning the little girl’s heart by the second.

“Sorry, love. The bakery must have mix up the cakes. I don't know how that happened. I am so sorry. I told the man a thousand times to not put any nuts” Lance said again and again while he ran to the hospital.

The woman just laughed at the situation and when Lance looked at her through the rearview she was smiling. He didn't know then, but that was the first time someone had cared so much about her and her daughter.

And Lance didn't have anything to worry about, because back at home his father was doing all the hard work with Lily.

“So…” Lawrence said looking at the little girl who was sitting on the sofa eating ice cream “I heard you like doing paper dolls”

“Yeah” she answered, licking the spoon clean “And you?”

“Not my expertise, but I can see the charm in it”

Lily just looked up at him. When she had calmed down after the old man explained to her that her mom was fine but she needed a bandaid to be perfect, the girl had started to analyze the man.

Her mum had told her beforehand all about her friend and the get-together they were going to have that night, but she didn't expect any of that. Her mother had forgotten to tell her that after dessert they would run out and leave her alone at home with an unknown man.

Lily knew she was just a little girl, but wasn't that what her mother had told her not to do?

“You are weird, Flower” the girl finally said after deciding that she could trust the strange man with the funny name. If her mother trusted him enough to leave her in his care, who was she to not do it?

“Why is that?” Lawrence asked sitting beside her on the couch. 

The girl just shrugged her shoulders. Her mother had taught her that it was wrong to say those things to people, especially older ones. The previous comment had slipped out of her mouth.

In her defense, Lily would say that Lance's dad was strange indeed. Lance too. Her mother's friend had sweaty hands and had dropped his spoon more times than she had. Plus, mom's friend's face turned red all the time. All the times her mom spoke at least.

But Lance's dad was even weirder. All his hair was white, all. Plus he was the oldest person Lily had ever seen, even older than Mom's friend from work who had just turned 40 recently and invited them to her party. The man was tall and was wearing a suit like on TV. Lily had never seen anyone on the streets of her town in Canada wearing one of those outfits beyond the movies.

Plus, Lance's dad had let her eat the ice cream straight out of the container to stop her from crying, which was weird, because her mom never let her do that. But she wasn't going to complain.

“And what is that Flower thing?” Lawrence asked finally.

“Your name, duh” Lily responded with the spoon still in her mouth.

See? Weird. The man had just said that was his name.

“My name is Lawrence” the man corrected.

“Florence,” she said back before making the connection “flower”.

The man laughed a deep laugh that reminded Lily of movie villains. And he looked like one. If he didn't have such a funny name, Lily probably would have been scared of him. “I am not a flower”

“You look like one” the girl responded, sure of her opinion.

“Why is that?” the man pressed, amused at the conversation.

“The white petals” she said pointing at his hair “Do you know how to braid?”

Lawrence laughed again. Lance had told him a lot about the woman he was meeting and had told him some things he was discovering about her daughter, but Lawrence did not expect the pleasant surprise that was meeting first the mother at a gala and then the girl, even if it was under those circumstances.

The mother was polite and affectionate with his son. Lawrence had been doubtful of her at first, as he always used to be when someone new came into their lifes. But at no time had she shown interest or asked for anything in exchange of her company like other used to do. If Lawrence was right, and he usually was, the only reason she was still with Lance was because she was really interested in his son.

And the girl. The girl had been a breath of fresh air.

It had been a long time since Lawrence last was around small children. His children were already grown and despite his insistence, his daughter had not yet made him a grandfather.

Even if the girl wasn't exactly Lance's, if everything went as his son expected that night, this wouldn't be the last time Lawrence would see the girl.

And, at that moment, he felt like it was in his power to help make everything happen that way, even if he himself had shown him his reluctance when he found out that the woman his son was with already had a daughter from a previous relationship.

“Yeah, I do. Do you want one braid?” he offered.

“No” she said still licking the empty spoon.

“Lance also knows how to braid. He is very good at it” lied the man. He didn't truly know why he was doing it but he guessed that he will need the extra help impressing the little girl after almost poisining her mom.

While waiting for her mom to come back, Lily decided the man wasn’t that bad anymore. And he was a flower after all. A flower who had ended up braiding her hair into smalls braids and had cut the paper dolls Lance had brought for her. 

He was still a little weird and a little scary looking but he wasn't that bad.

And he was comfy. She had found that when she laid her braided head in his chest while playing with the dolls. 

And! When her mom asks her tomorrow when she wakeds up on her own bed surrounded by all her plushies, she will say that the flower was a magician. Which was a pretty impressive story.

Even when she had swore she wasn't going to fall asleep until her mom came back, the flower had charm her into sleeping while rubbing her belly, like she did with her mom's friend's puppy.

She may not know a lot about old people or grandparents but the flower wasn't that bad himself. And maybe his son wasn't so bad either.

[w2sarcher]

wedding weekend | harry lewis

summary: y/n & harry tie the knot

face claim: dua lipa (barely tho lol)

a/n: hi!!! this is a anon request i got earlier. super cute so hope you all love it! please keep sending requests in i have no idea what to make next lol. also love love love all the support thank you!

more stuff by me : masterlist

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harry and y/n together with their families invite you to their wedding celebration! saturday june 22nd at 7pm. location : finca la concepcion, marbella.

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y/n_username posted a photo!

liked by wroetoshaw & 540,204 others! y/n_username wedding rehearsal before the luckiest day of harry's life & the worst of mine xoxo tagged: wroetoshaw

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taliamar the most beautiful bride to be ever 😍

freyanightingale i'm in love with your face???

wroetoshaw not too late to cancel you muppet ↳ y/n_username odds on?

r0sielewis you gorgeous girl

faithlouiseak so gorg babe

geenelly so fit 🔥🔥🔥

sidemanxfan lmao so true harry's lucky he bagged y/n as a wife

harryxlewisfan bet harry was drunk at the rehearsal ↳ y/n_username on his best behaviour for once

miaxmon can i marry you instead? 💍 ↳ y/n_username yes

w2slover this is my royal wedding

ynharryfan mum and dad's big day has nearly come omg

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calfreezy posted an instagram story! tobjizzle posted an instagram story!

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chrismd10 posted a photo!

liked by ksi and 520,320 others! chrismd10 drowning my sorrows because my guernsey boy is finally married tagged wroetoshaw & y/n_username

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y/n_username you can have him back he's doing my nut in already

wroetoshaw always in my heart

chrisdixonfan LMAO the jersey x guernsey bromance will never die 🥹🥹🥹

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calfreezy has posted a photo!

liked by callux and 510,560 others! calfreezy celebrating my two best mates getting married! best weekend of the year by far tagged wroetoshaw, y/n_username, miniminter, randolphuk, zerkaa

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zerkaa drippiest wedding guests

y/n_username 💙💙💙

miniminter blue suit going craaaaazy

randolphuk gutted you didn't include the pic of harry & y/n drunk an hour into their reception ↳ calfreezy she'd want me dead ↳ y/n_username you would've been a dead man

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theobaker_ posted a photo!

liked by theburntchip and 230,120 others! theobaker_ marbella madness with the boys! congratulations to harry and y/n! ❤️ tagged wroetoshaw, y/n_username, reevhd, willne, chrismd10

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chrismd10 i am much taller than this irl ↳ reevhd keep telling yourself that lad

theburntchip can't believe bog got married before you managed to lose your virginity ↳ theobaker_ not funny

proddyc lovely pics theo!

willne couple of distinguished gentlemen

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faithlouiseak posted a photo!

liked by behzingagram and 203,103 others! faithlouiseak such an honour to be a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding! congratulations to harry & y/n, love you both so much!! also look how cute my little olive was as her godparent's flower girl!!! 🥺🤍 tagged taliamar, freyanightingale, y/n_username

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behzingagram my girl olive 🫒

y/n_username the BEST BRIDESMAIDS ever @taliamar @freyanightingale @faithlouiseak

y/n_username i love you so much

y/n_username and little olive!!! 🥺🥹

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y/n_username posted a photo!

liked by wroetoshaw and 602,029 others! y/n_username 22nd of june. the happiest day of my life. the day i got to marry my best friend. i'm so proud to call you my husband and i cannot wait to grow old together with you. i love you to the moon and back, my boy. p.s you looked so fit in that suit 🤍

tagged wroetoshaw

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freyanightingale so flipping cute

wroetoshaw you soppy bastard ❤️

faithlouiseak love you both!!!

ynw2slove MUM AND DAD

sidemanxixfan omg i feel so old

ksi congratulations you two!

taliamar best day ever 😘

callux sickest wedding i've ever been to

r0sielewis you're finally a lewis!!!!! ❤️😭

ynfan2024 cannot believe y/n has married w2s

vikkstagram beautiful couple!!

zerkaa the baby of the sidemen is wifed off i feel old ↳ behzingagram you are old lad

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As the moon cast its gentle glow upon the room, Harry and Y/n found themselves sprawled across the bed, their laughter echoing in the hair. The balcony doors were wide open with the Spanish heat blowing in and the sound of the waves crashing on the beach filled the room - finally a bit of piece for the pair.

Y/N proped herself up on one elbow, gazing at her dreamy husband with a lopsided smile.

''Harry.'' she began, her words slurred from all the champagne she had drank, ''that was the most perfect day, wasn't it?''

Harry turned to her, pulling at his tie to loosen it (he hated wearing suits). Y/N's eyes shone with affection as she watched him do so, ''One of the best days of my life, I think.''

''One of?'' Y/N snickered, swatting him gently with her hand.

''Well yeah - nothing's going to beat my crossbar challenge with Ronaldo is it,'' he joked, earning another playful hit from his wife.

''Oh shut up you.''

''Only messing,'' he said, pushing a stray hair that had fallen from Y/N's once pristine wedding up do. ''It was the best.''

Y/N's cheeks flushed with warmth. ''It really was, wasnt it?'' she paused, ''And you... you looked so fit in your suit. I couldn't take my eyes off you the whole day.''

And it was true, Harry looked so good at the wedding reception. His cheeks flushed from too much alcohol. Undone cufflinks and rolled up sleeves - Y/N was just in love with this man.

Harry laughed smugly. He loved when she would shower him with compliments. He'd never get over having the fittest woman in the world in his eyes, gush over him 24/7.

''Well, you, were the best looking bride I've ever seen in my life.''

They shared a tender smile, hearts overflowing with love. The memories of their special day were so fresh and danced through their minds. It was a day that would be etched in their hearts forever. Harry seeing Y/N in her dress for the first time, his eyes watering at the sight and Y/N fumbling with her bouquet as she laid eyes on the most handsome man in a black suit she'd ever seen.

''I'm so glad we're finally married,'' Y/N whispered, reaching out to intertwine their hands. ''Just feels like a dream come true.''

''I know, doll.'' Harry replied, squeezing her hand gently. ''Been waiting for this moment since the first time I laid eyes on you.''

With a contented sigh, they settled back onto the bed, their fingers still intertwined. As sleep began to claim them, they whispered words of love and gratitude, their hearts overflowing with happiness.

For Harry and Y/N, their wedding night was just the beginning of a lifetime of love, laughter, and cherished moments together. And as they drifted off to sleep, they knew that their love would only grow stronger with each passing day, lighting up the darkness and guiding them home to each other's arms.

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y/n_username posted an instagram story!

story replies to y/n_username:

↳ wroetoshaw fittest wife ever liked by y/n_username

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W2S+ uploaded a youtube video!

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a/n: thank you so much for reading! bit of a short one but hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless.

[lolathestoryteller]

part two of my personal take on; HARRY POTTER: NEXT GEN

Potter-Weasleys

James Sirius Potter “Jamie”

- basically Ginny’s “guy version” with brown-ish copper hair

- he loves— like absolutely LOVES quidditch

- covered in freckles

- he’s really funny, and always has a good joke ready

- 100% spontaneous & doesn’t much like to make plans in advance (he’s a chaotic person and fully embraces it)

- every girl’s crush

- very loyal & a great friend

- him & Ginny are definitely besties

- he’s convinced there’s nobody braver than his Dad

- super protective over his sibs & younger cousins, especially Lily Lu

- he wants to become a professional quidditch player

Albus Severus Potter “Al”

- his Dad’s twin

- always gets called out for having “his Dad’s eyes” or, sometimes, even his Grandmother’s

- clever and ambitious (duh, he’s a Slytherin)

- quiet observer

- is very organized and can’t stand any sort of mess (yep, James sometimes drives him nuts)

- loves books, chess & any sort of intellectual hobbies

- quidditch or any sort of sport is horribly boring

- he’s got a mad crush on his best friend Scorpius since 1st year

- too many people make him feel uncomfortable, he likes his own space

- sometimes feels like an outcast for not being more like his family

- loves to bake with his Mum on a rainy Sunday

Lily Luna Potter “Lily Lu”

- she looks a lot like her namesake (like Granny Lily), with Ginny’s brown eyes & light freckles

- big time “baby of the family” vibes

- a Gryffindor if you’ve ever seen one

- mischievous, likes a good prank or two (Marauders’ potential there)

- (you know she’d have been James’s favourite grand baby, although of course he’d never admit to having a fave)

- she really is that fearless

- stands up for those who can’t/ are too afraid

- Dad’s little girl!!

- she’s actually great at quidditch, but not that interested (despite Ginny & Harry trying to get her into it since she was little)

- she’s really smart, but not many people know just how smart she is (completely aces her OWLs & NEWTs)

[caliburn-the-sword]

a (non)comprehensive list of all characters that i as a child decided were asian because representation hardly existed in the early 2010's, with varying degrees of asian-coding and/or canon. it also gets more unhinged

will not be tagging SHIT because i would like to not experience hate but also i feel like my mutuals would somewhat enjoy this. as a kid, my only requirements were that they either 1) had dark hair 2) had dark eyes or 3) had unnatural hair/eye/skin colour in which case i could go nuts

list is under the cut:

you liked these fairies cause you were gay?? i liked them because they were asian to me we are NOT the same (i am also gay). both are asian coded so i wasn't wrong. also shoutout to vidia for being asian and an absolute BITCH. i think her back is sore from carrying the bitchy asian rep. no one's doing it like her

musa from winx. also asian coded so it works

batman. NOT to be confused with bruce wayne. bruce wayne is white af even to me as a child. but when he had the mask on i could project on him and call him chinese

dick grayson's robin in almost all cartoon iterations (pictured above in the batman) but also including:

to be clear, this is NOT to be confused with dick grayson the civilian, or dick grayson as nightwing. by my 9 y/o logic those guys were both white af. but when dick grayson had the robin mask on that gave room for me to project, as such they're asian

zatanna zatara is wasian IN MY HEART. to ME her mum is chinese and obvi her dad is italian so she's almost just like me (chinese/spanish). idc argue with the wall

superman but ONLY the justice league unlimited version

huntress bertinelli, for the same reasons as zatanna, was always wasian to me. but she gave off half korean, half italian vibes. i will not explain myself

now is raven from a different plane than us?? yes. however azarath is home to asians idek

sorry guys jinx is a bad bitch so she's also asian

while we're at it, beast boy is also asian but ONLY in teen titans. unfortunately young justice beast boy is whitewashed (he was never asian to begin with). i asked my sister if she ever asian-washed characters when watching tv she said no (rudeass) but i provided multiple teen titans as an example and my mum was like "wait?? beast boy isn't asian?? i thought he was asian??" so beast boy is actually mum-approved-asian. i don't make the rules

draculaura from monster high was always asian to me idc what the haters say. everyone say thank you to the monster high reboot for giving me asian draculaura because frankly i deserve it

also. robecca steam is south asian in my heart

jackson jekyll was also asian. idk. he just was

now, since the eah reboot made draculaura wasian i'm BEGGING for there to be an eah reboot because they will do my girl raven queen justice. SHE is asian

kitty cheshire is also asian i don't make the rules

sorry guys duchess swan is also asian

while i'm at it, faybelle thorn is also asian talk to the wall

now i need you guys to pinky promise to be nice to me. percy jackson was wasian to me until ethan nakamura was introduced. only after ethan's introduction did my 13 y/o ass let percy be white again

tony stark is asian but ONLY in iron man armoured adventures

now, a plethora of xmen evolution characters are actually asian (source: i made it the fuck up) these include, but are not limited to: wolverine, x23, wanda and pietro

[hilsonamore]

my dad is a house stan through and through- whether he saves, insults, hurts or stabs someone to death, my dad just looks at him and goes “yep, he’s so right”.

My mum on the other hand can’t stop calling house a nut-case, but deep down she likes home

And then, there’s me.

[brewed-pangolin]

Drabble request for Super Soap Sunday:

Origin story of the Soap MacTavish mohawk, 500 words or less...GO.

First Flight of the Scottish Hawk

Ooohhhh I love this!!! I may be one of the few that actually loves Soap's hawk, and this just gives me full range to go creatively nuts with this. Thank you!

Warnings: Mentions of loss at the end. Nothing more than ridiculous MacTavish household shenanigans throughout.

This turned into something I honestly didn't see coming. I couldn't stop writing, and I let the creativity flow through me. If you all like it enough I will expand on it more. Much love 💛

Massive thanks to @deadbranch and @d3athtr4psworld for your input.

Word count 1.4 k (Oops, got carried away again)

If there is one thing you should never do, don't ever dare John MacTavish to do anything. Period.

It's simple, really. All it takes is a few choice words and a push in the right (or wrong) direction and John MacTavish will go full beast mode.

You can thank his sister, Charlotte for the crested motif.

--

After completing basic training at the tender age of 16, John returned home with nothing but a triumphant chip on his shoulder and, more noticeably, a trimmed line of peach fuzz along his scalp.

While his mum and dad couldn't be more proud, his siblings on the other hand were chomping at the bit to get a rise out of him.

Hamish, the oldest of the boys, chimed in first.

"Ye look a'that, mum. Lil John's come back all growned up." He jabbed, before wrapping his arm around his neck forcing him into a tight headlock.

"Not n'the kitchen, Hamish! You'll break tha bloody cabinets!" Mum exclaimed while pushing her two oldest boys into the hall.

"Got'a test tha' strength ma! Can't..oofff" He was swiftly cutoff by John's elbow into his stomach. The two were now fully engulfed in a standing wrestling match.

"Fuck. Off. Hame!" Each of John's words were grittngly emphasized as he wrapped his hands around his older brothers arm.

"Gonnae be a whippin' fer the both a ya if ya donnae knock it off." Mum's warning fell on deaf ears, as this went on for another 10 minutes. By the end of it, both boys had endured the verbal wrath of a furious Catholic Scottish Maiden. (COs can't hold a candle to a pissed off mum)

The twins, Michael and David, couldn't be bothered with real world nonsense. They were too busy with the neighborhood boys playing their own version of 'modern warfare' deep in the backyard woods.

Albiet mildly gruesome in itself, fellow parents enforced a strict 'no guns' rule within the ranks. Imagination would rule the day once more. Sticks were a better option, anyway. And video games were non existent in the MacTavish household.

"Git out me sight, tha' lot'aya!" Patriarchal Rules over all.

Last, and on both ends of the birthing spectrum were Charlotte and Genevieve. John found them in their usual hiding place, the knitting room.

Genevieve, or Evie, as she was so lovingly referred to was only 4. A 'precious surprise' dubbed by mum, and the absolute light of John's eyes.

"How's my favorite lit'le lass, eh Evie?" He could never strain above a whipser when he called to her. And as he knelt down his arms stretched out and awaited her usual 'mighty bear hug'.

But it never came. As she looked him over, her precious green eyes began to water, her face slowly began to contort into a seldom seen melancholy, and then she cried.

"Smooth, Johnny." The sarcastic venom in Charlotte's words was immeasurable, yet still held within it that familiar sibling banter.

"Ooh, no Evie. It's still me. Still yer Johnny." He pleaded as he quickly tried to console her.

"Git out ya arse! Ya makin it worse!" Charlotte chided him as she knelt down to pick up her now inconsolable sister.

"Ah, c'mon Char. Donnae be like that."

Heartbroken is the only word that came to her mind. And being the oldest, she now had two 'children' to console.

"Jus' giv'er a minute, Johnny. She's only seen ya at home. Not like, this." She waved her hand at him, accentuating the difference in his appearance and demeanor. She also lessened her tone, for both their sakes. She'd make a good mother one day.

"Ya think I look tha' different, Char?"

"T'me? Nah. But I knew why yer were gone, Johnny. Evie didn't."

Of course, he'd ask only her this question. Besides their usual sibling rivalry, John looked up to his oldest sister the most. Craved for her approval above all others. Even more so than his parents at times.

"Aye. Is it tha hair, ya think? Bit of a shock t'myself if ya ask me."

"It donnae help yer cause, Johnny. Ya do look like a fuzzy bowling ball."

"Haud yer wheesht, Char!"

The playful jesting slowly began to smooth the lot of them. Evie's sobs eased into soft whimpers as she turned to face her brother once more. Her forehead rested into Charlotte's neck as her eyes once again roamed over her brothers familiar face.

"I donnae like it, Johnny." The high-pitched quiver in her voice nearly broke him to tears. He swallowed hard, forcing those feelings down into the newly formed gullet deep within his chest.

"I know, Evie. It's only fer a little while." His soft blue eyes matched hers, glistening in the dim light as they continued their conversation in wordless speech.

A slow tremble began to form in her lower lip. Quickly she released her grasp around her sister's neck and stretched out to him. It may not have been the bear hug he was expecting, but the comfort of her on his chest more than soothed that aching heart within him.

"The people've spoken, Johnny. What'ya give'm, eh? A typical buzz cut, stylish pompadour, a fricken mohawk?" Charlotte's jab struck a nerve, the evidence all over John's face as his brows furrowed in utter bewilderment.

She answered with her own expression, that sly curl to her lip that John was all too familiar with.

"Donnae do it, Char. I'm warnin' ya."

She had to. In the presence of Evie, Charlotte knew not to speak such fowl language. Silently, she mouthed and provoked him.

'I. Fucking. Dare you.'

That's it. That's all it took. The right words in the wrong direction, by the right person. John couldn't refuse. And like a baited fish, Charlotte swung him in and quickly mounted her victory atop her mental walls.

Six months passed before John returned home again. Military life suited him well. So did his new hairstyle.

It was the typical MacTavish family reunion; mum and dad always the proudest parents in all of Glasgow, ridiculous hairdo aside.

Hamish greeted him with the classic headlock, which again was followed by the verbal chastising of their Iron Maiden mother. (John would tell her one day she'd make the perfect Drill Sargeant)

The twins were currently grounded in their room for saying 'naughty words' in school. John didn't poke too hard, but got this gist it was something about 'God forsaken homework.' The usual teenage behavior.

He sought out his two favorite lasses with overwhelming vigor, finding them yet again within the walls of the knitting room.

"How's my favorite lit'le lass, eh!"

"JOHNNY!" Evie's squeal may have nearly burst his eardrums, but he would gladly go without all sound just to remember that beautiful voice.

He had barely crouched down before she swung her arms around his neck, throwing that much needed 'mighty bear hug' against him.

"Easy Evie, ya ain't such a lit'le lass anymore." His playful strain made her tighten the death grip around him, and he gleefully recipricated.

“Ha? Th’army turnin out softies now, eh?” Charlotte called from the corner as she effortlessly hung her newest knitted masterpiece on the wall, a large afghan in the most brilliant forest green hues.

“Awa’ an bile yer heid, Char.”

“Watch it, Johnny. Tha lit’le rapscallion on yer shoulder gotten a knack fer echoin th’lot of us. Gonnae be eatin soap fer dinner if she keeps it up, yeah.”

Evie strained her neck and forcefully stuck out her tongue in retaliation. The banter was a welcome grief to John. He’d never admit it, but he missed his daily chastising from his oldest sister during those hard days in the field. CO’s could learn a thing or two from the scolding mouths of a MacTavish woman. 

“Ya lookin good, Johnny. Besides the rooster crest. What’re they callin’ya, ‘Mornin Wood?’”

“That’s classified.” The bite in his retort didn’t go unnoticed.

“Ohh, look a’mister fancy pants ov’r here.” Charlotte threw her hands up in taunting surprise. She’d never admit it, but she missed throwing those playful insults at him below the chest. It was an ebb and flow that no other seemed to be able to grasp.

“Donnae matter, Char. Only needs one approval, yeah. What’ya think, lass?” John turned to face the green-eyed angel within his grasp, her eyes slowly studying the features of him, finally focusing on the thick crest atop his head. 

“I like it.” 

“Thas’all I need. Gonnae keep it, yeah. Jus’ fer you, Evie.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Aye. Pinky swear.”

Her voice was the lullaby that tamed the savage beast. The silent tempest on the shores of a violent sea.

John wrapped his finger around hers and gave into the overwhelming power she had hung over him. Evie smiled, and buried her face within his neck. The vice-like grip around him doing nothing but melting that hard metallic soul growing within him.

“Ya gone’n don’it now, Johnny.” Charlotte’s quip was sharp, yet softened as it flowed freely through the air.

John responded in equal softness, an eerily reminiscent silent jab.

‘Fuck. You.’

25 years and a full military career later, Captain John ‘Soap’ MacTavish sat lonely at the bar, pondering the ice within its liqoured embrace and watched as the waves of liquid slowly melded within themselves. He was within pleasant company, something he had truly missed over the remaining years of his career.

He heard the cadence of footsteps first, their possesor non other than the legendary John Price himself. 

“Ya know ya got to drink it for it to work, yeah.” 

“Aye. Jus’ takin my time with it.”

A somberness flowed freely through them, no longer wanting or needing to keep old wounds bound and at bay. Price scanned the crowd once over before returning his gaze to the scarred and crested veteran, both looking more worse for wear within the golden age of their careers.

“Ya know, Soap. I’ve known ya for over 20 years. And somehow I never thought to ask.”

Price paused as Soap brought the cold and perspiring glass up to his lips.

“Why do ya keep the mohawk?”

Soap turned to face his war hardened comrade. A silent shock washed over him as the quiet memory of her surfaced into the realm of his periphery. He sat motionless for a moment, spinning the glass within his hands as her name gracefully returned to the soft tissue of his lips.

“Evie. I kept it for Evie.” It felt like a hymn, to speak her name again after so many years of silence. The sound of it wafting into the wooden rafters before cascading and disappearing into the boisterous cacophony around the bar.

“Who’s Evie?”

“She was my sister.” Soap’s chest tightened as the words fell out of his mouth. 

“Was?”

The slip of the tongue caught him off guard. Soap met Price’s gaze and held within it a cold blue steel. 

“Touchy subject.” Price titled his glass, and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder before leaving him alone again at the bar with his thoughts. 

An ache formed within his heart. A void that was filled with her memories and locked away from the world's prying eyes. 

His fingers slowly turned the tumbler on the weathered bar while his eyes slowly began to focus on the smallest finger of his hand. Bringing it up to his face he studied its features as a chemist studies the inner workings of molecular bonds.

The slightest curl of a smile formed on the corner of his mouth as the sound of her voice ricocheted within the recesses of his mind. And the green, those bright green eyes like the mossy hills of the Scottish highlands. 

Edited 2/5/24 to include remastered Soap Squad 🧼

“Pinky swear, Evie.”

@deadbranch @sofasoap @d3athtr4psworld @punishmepunisher @jynxmirage @glitterypirateduck @astraluminaaa @shotmrmiller @obligatoryghoststare @homicidal-slvt @ghosts-goldendoodle @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world @writeforfandoms @tacticalanxiety @simpingoverquestionablemen @queen-ilmaree @havoc973 @foxface013 @sadstone-s @haurasha @mykneeshurt @designateddeadend @luismickydees @kkaaaagt

[ratsoh-writes]

Some baby hcs for my lovely followers

Berlin sometimes listens to rap with his uncle bruiser. Bruiser has taught him the lyrics to some of the more popular songs. Berlins getting good at it. Help

Theo is such a little princess for ace, she’s the perfectly well behaved baby around him. When with slim though she’s like a spicy kitten. Super hissy

Baby Ozzy has his daddies sweet tooth and will drool anytime honey bakes cause of the smells in the kitchen. So honey has taken to putting bibs on him before he cooks to prevent the baby from ruining his shirt

Swing LOVES birds. Like goes nuts for them. He’s waving his baby arms in the air like a madman whenever one lands on the windowsill. Naturally pop put a bunch of bird feeders at the windows for this reason.

Leo is still very young, but he does occasionally give the nastiest side eyes whenever he hears people baby talking him. It’s hilarious to see. He’s got that judgy face down. Lush couldn’t be prouder

Rosie is on the little league softball team and is a pretty heavy hitter for a kid her age. Some monster parents have joked that maybe Ann has a golem ancestor somewhere down the line cause of how tough her daughter is

Bruno is finally past his spitting up stage, but he does get terribly motion sick still, so grocery trips have to be carefully planned to be a certain amount of time after meals to make the drive smoother.

Fran has begun toddling around, and her latest obsession has been stealing her mums and dad’s shoes and trying to walk in them. Her ultimate prize is uncle noirs shoes when he comes over. She could probably lay down in one, but still she’s sure she can wear them

@isnt-that-something @vrnicky @the1920sisntaphasemom @scienceisfood @gonorrhea-mama

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jim Bickerman x Fem!Reader || (Long) Imagine

Plot: You were lost in the woods, you almost died- but a nice man with an eyepatch saved you ^^

Warnings: Y/N kinda trauma bonding to Jim. Jim kinda abducting Y/N. Allusions to a pretty large age difference. I told y'all I wanted to write him worse XD Written on my phone+unedited.

Imagine being lost in the woods for a week, holding onto the brink of life, when you're found by a random poacher. You're terrified and deprived (of food, water, sleep, heat- everything), and he wasn't even looking for you, and the police you talk to seem all-too-familiar with him, but when he takes you to the sheriff's office you don't want him to leave you there. No. Please. Your eyes fill up with tears as you hold onto his arm, abandoning the hot coffee a deputy handed you and almost letting the wool blanket slip from your shoulders. "P- please stay with m- me. I dont know anyone."

"Y'dont know him, either." The Sheriff mutters, rolling her eyes but- trying, in some way, to remain compassionate.

The man - he told you his name was Jim, and you could call him Jimmy. He was nice. Well, you thought he was nice. He saved you, you felt safe with him, - looked unsure, eye flickering between your wide pleading eyes to the Sheriff with her eyebrow raised at him; waiting expectantly for a responce. A nervous smile washes over his face. "I mean, uh- who am I t' turn down a pretty girl in distress, huh?"

"For god's sake." The Sheriff shakes her head, leaving to make some calls, muttering. "Y'know the world's gone nuts when Jimmy Bickerman saves the day. Yeesh."

The entire time you're at the station waiting for someone who knows you to come, your mum or your dad or a friend- maybe a boyfriend? (You don't know. You hit your head, and you don't remember much) you stick right by Jim like a baby duck. You start to feel terrible anxiety fill you up whenever he leaves.

He doesn't leave you much, though, taking responsibility for you almost as soon as you flashed those teary eyes at him and begged for him to stay with you. He kept close tabs on you, making sure you were warm enough now and getting you something to drink if he thought you weren't (slipping a little Something in it to make you feel even warmer. It was his special stuff, he told you with a wink. You werent sure if alcahol was the best cure for you, right now, but you drank it anyway- it felt good. It warmed you up from the inside out), he bugged Sheriff Reba to order you food from the diner when you finally started to feel hungry again and eating with you so you didn't feel awkward being watched like a feral forest person (it was kindof like a date, you thought, as your senses were beginning to return to you. He flirted with you a little bit, but it just made you feel nice and normal), he talked with you to distract you...

When you started to remember things, why you were in the forest and who you were and where you came from- it was because of him. He was talking to you about himself, and you were listening intently (He was nice, he was interesting, he was funny. You thought you would've liked him whether he found you in the woods almost dead or not) and slowly things started to come back to you. Jim encouraged you, and then made a crack at Reba about him doing her job better then she did. How she should hand over her badge.

She mentioned how if he ran this town then he'd probably try to enact a bi-weekly Purge night, but gave you a kind grin and said she'd call your parents. They'd come to get you. You seemed better but she still didn't like the idea of you driving home yourself. Or letting Jim take you home, either. God forbid.

At this point you were full, warm, and had changed into some spare clothes the Sheriff station kept on-hand. But you still felt... out-of-place. Nervous. Like you had changed from this experience and no one understood you- you were afraid your parents wouldn't be the same either. It was silly, but you felt like the only person who knew you now... was Jim.

You didn't want to leave him. You wanted to stay.

He saw the worried look on your face after Reba left to call your parents, and nudged you. "Hey. If I didn't know better missy I'd think you were sad, now."

"I... " You start, but can't find words, and frown. Yes, you felt better-- but the talking was still a struggle. It was hard to put all your thoughts in order. It was hard, it was frustrating.

"Y'dont wanna see your mom and dad?"

... you just shrug. Of course you do- don't you?

At least part of you does. The part from a week ago. The little girl in you that just wants to go home.

... but the more prominent part of you feels like running. Are they going to like you now?? The confused, scared, rougher version of you?? Would you see Jim again!??

The thought that you possibly wouldn't, that your parents would take you away without a second word to him aside from 'thanks', not taking his phone number or anything, sends a spark of panic through you. You could ask for it now-

"Um- " Turning to him, you earnestly held up your hand and pretend to write on it. "Do you- have- um, a phone number?"

He winces, and your heart plummets. He tells you he doesn't have a phone, and you think- that sounds right, from what you've learnt about him over the past day. He doesn't even have a permanent home at the moment, he's staying in a motel room above the bar in town. Damn.

Jim seems just as put-put out, but after a moment, he leans over to you with fresh excitement; a new idea. He pats your thigh. "Tell you what- how about you write down your home address; and I'll send ya letters. Maybe pay ya a visit sometime~ Hm?"

Immediately you wilt. "I- I don't remember it... "

"... right. Damn."

Sighing, you break your gaze away from him and look sadly down at your hands in your lap. "... I could... call the bar?... "

"Yeah sweetheart, you better." This time he puts his hand on your arm, and squeezes. You let out another sigh; he's touched you so much this whole time you're going to miss it so bad when you leave.

When you don't look any happier, more like a wet kitten than ever (and he found you covered in mud and scratches and leaves), he can't handle it. He hates it. Truth be told, he'd caught some kindof feelings for you over the last day. You weren't just his responsibility here; you were a cute, sweet little thing, and when you started remembering shit you turned out to be pretty damn funny. And real interesting.

-and fucking damn him to hell for noticing, but the soggy forest girl had a nice ass, too.

He did not want to part with you, either. He sure as hell didn't want you upset about nothin, either.

Not if he could do something about it.

"Y'know what?" He starts, getting one of those ideas that the town calls him nuts for, looking darkly in the direction that the Deputy is sitting in the room; cheerfully going over documents. Curious, you raise your gaze and look at him, waiting for 'what'. "If you don't wanna see yer parents- I mean- well," Another nervous smile flickers across his bearded face- but this time its got a hint wryness to it. Almost wicked. "I might have an idea."

"... what?" Nothing about the look on Jim's face or the menacing tone in his voice suddenly makes you weary. You're almost... excited. What's he thinking?? "Whats- what's your idea?"

He takes a deep breath, leaning so close you can feel his shoulders raise with it. "-well, my truck's in the lot still."

"Mhm... "

"I'm bettin' we can get there before your parents can get all the way here."

It takes a moment for the meaning behind his words to settle in your muddled brain- but when they do, your lips part in surprise. "You- you wanna take me home with you??"

"Uhuh." He finally looks at you again, your wide shocked eyes and cute nose and nice mouth. The dark fog in his eyes clears up by about half, looking at you. "If you wanna."

Before you even know what you're agreeing to you're nodding, getting up. "Yeah- I mean- yeah. Let's g- go."

A roguish grin slips across Jim's face from under his trucker hat.

"Thats my girl."

[thedreadvampy]

suicide chat under cut (not a live issue don't worry)

was telling my partner the memory I have of being about 10-11 (not long after my grandpa died/dad found the body/it was maybe a murder/etc) and I was at the time (for I'm sure Entirely Mysterious Reasons) really neurotically obsessing about how you could die without traumatising whoever has to find your body. like I would draw elaborate suicide contraptions and human slaughterhouses in the back of my exercise book at school bc I was trying so badly to find the way that the trauma could be taken out of death.

so far so normal I'm sure you can agree.

anyway I was remembering that this came up at the dinner table and dad (in retrospect must have been full on in the Trauma Hole)(probably quite drunk cause he was most of the time) just started in on this whole monologue about the most foolproof ways to kill yourself. I remember him saying if you were going to jump you'd need to make sure you were 100+ ft up so you could be sure you'd die on impact, but then you'd have time to change your mind on the way down, so that was a bad option. and that his chosen method would be to take as many pills as possible then put a plastic bag over his head so if he vomited while he was unconscious, he'd still die.

looking back that's nuts cause that's such specific ideation. he was obviously really seriously thinking about it. and this was just over dinner to his wife and kids (10, 10, 12). I remember mum being really upset by it, which in retrospect fuck I cannot imagine how distressing a conversation that is to watch between your severely depressed partner and your extremely earnestly engaged preteen.

but I just remember thinking. wow we are really not on the same page on what a perfect suicide is. cause I agreed that it's best to be sure you're not just severely injuring yourself but my priority, at the time and also the one time in my adult life I've seriously contemplated, was to minimise the mess and distress of finding the body, I just wanted to disappear but also give people closure. my solution as a 10 year old was well what if I dig a grave and put up a headstone and left a note and then rigged up some manner of contraption to fill the grave in on top of myself and crush/suffocate. Again in retrospect that's a terrible solution, logistics aside, what a horrible way to go. and honestly the place I got to through all this childhood chewing on the problem was that you can't kill yourself without causing pain and trauma, so I let go of the idea of killing myself cause that wouldn't solve the problems I had (feeling like a burden; not being able to reduce the trauma people dealt with).

but.

haha

told this story to Sam and he just gave me a Face and went WHAT A NORMAL CHILDHOOD YOU HAD. SO INCREDIBLY HEALTHY AND NORMAL.

haha yeah. no history of trauma or mental illness in my family!!!

[yandere-romanticaa]

I had such a silly dream omg

In it, I got transported to Sumeru with my whole family and we were kinda stuck in the middle of the forest. Childe saw us and asked if we were adventuring or if we just needed a helping hand. He decided to help us get to Sumeru city while being a chatty little man all throughout the way. My dad and brother did NOT like him LMAO, especially my dad, Childe gave him such an ICK 🤣✋ Mum was kinda meh, she was a little weirded out but she was vibing. It was mostly me who was doing most of the talking with him, which also gave my father an ick!

He was amused whenever I'd get scared by the sounds of monsters nearby. 😑

He told us that he was a toy seller which my family bought but they were weirded out by the fact that he was just neck deep in the woods. "It's for research! 😄" he said. Now, I can't remember what he said or did but all I know is that I ended up slapping Childe so hard that he fell to the ground, but because he's low key nuts he just looked at me and said: "You!😲 I like you! 😁"

My father got yet ANOTHER ick from that and then I woke up gahahaha