#my number one fave gets two new forms. slay

[fulgurbugs]

girls nightttttt

[lumiereandcogsworth]

UNO REVERSE. GO OFF, GIRL: deep ask time: tell me about your love for beauty and the beast. when did you get into it. what were your first impressions. when did you Know it was a big fave for you. how many times have you seen it. what’s your favorite thing about it!!! why the heck do you love it!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH OKAY🥺 this is gonna be long i’m just already warning you. I gotta do the under the cut thing cuz really I just can’t unwillingly subject people to such an essay. It’s good but like. anyway, here ya go:

when did you get into it? well [the stage goes dark, a spotlight centers on me, fog forms around my ankles] it all started on a calm spring evening, april 12th, 2017.... okay lmao i’m not gonna do that the whole time. but yeah so i loved the 1991 cartoon version a lot! it had always been one of my fave disney films as a kid, it was one of ones we had on vhs so it was a frequent flyer in on the big boxy dinosaur tv! but then, when me and my parents were touring my future university (i was a junior in high school at the time) we decided to catch a movie! i couldn’t tell you what else was playing that night, but live action batb was the only one that jumped out at me. it’s funny cuz it had been out for nearly a month, i really didn’t make any effort to go see it. i was like “ah, disney makes live actions all the time. who cares.” LITTLE DID I KNOW. but anyway, we went to see it and.... gosh i was enchanted. even that first night, it was like a switch turned on in me that i didn’t even know existed!

what were your first impressions? goodnesssss. it’s interesting because i hadn’t seen batb 1991 in YEARS, but as i watched the live action it was all coming back, i was comparing everything. which is funny too because, the comparison is what turned a lot of people AWAY from batb 2017. now, i could make a whole powerpoint comparing them, but i have no shade!!! if you like 1991 better, go off!!!! just don’t hate on one or the other :/ hate is lame! there’s a lot of love in the world and there’s, my goodness, CERTAINLY enough love for two film versions of a disney princess movie. goodness gracious. anyway, let me hop off my soap box!!!!!

i remember thinking it was DOPE that they made belle the inventor, and that they made maurice an artist. i remember loving the new songs, eSPECIALLY evermore. like wow. i was so happy they gave beast his own song. i remember being so entirely delighted by how extravagant be our guest gets. like lumiere!! you dramatic boy!!!!! it just kept going i was so dazzled and amazed and happy. i can remember how big the smile on my face was during that whole number. i remember how INCREDIBLY swept away i was when there was the whole “what do you say we run away?” scene and the enchanted book and going to paris!!!!!!! still to this day, every time i see the scene where it goes from belle’s hand on the book pages and pans up to the starry sky, i feel that joyful peter pan magic. and that’s what i thought the first time too. i LOVED all the added backstory for belle and beast. absolutely stunning. even at the beginning! they open it right away, really take you to the scene of the crime, in a sense. you see young, spoiled prince adam. his nasty, pompous behavior and all. it made him so much more real. i remember just overall being so thrilled with how much longer it was. it gave belle and beast so much more time to fall in love, it made the culminating end way more genuine. and of course i loved all the little jokes and their quirky little personalities shining through. and i also remember being so punched in the gut by the last petal falling and actually seeing everyone turn into inanimate objects. i was like *sobbing* HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. but, even today, it makes the turn around of the curse lifting way more relieving and joy-filling. and don’t even get me started on The Kiss. the silent amazement between them. i can’t. surely, you get the point. i was in the car ride back to the hotel just utterly astounded, i couldn’t stop thinking about it. i’d never seen such beauty.

when did you Know it was a big fave for you? pretty soon!! i saw it a second time in theaters and i regret to this day not going a third time. but that’s life. i couldn’t pin point when it became my number one, but i’m sure it was that summer when it went on netflix and i had unlimited access and was deadass watching it most every night. that’s an exaggeration but is it though? anyway yeah it was love at first sight so it didn’t take long to reach my favorite movie spot at all.

how many times have you seen it? UHHHHHH okay so, that was something of an exaggeration, to a degree. i was counting how many times i was watching it but i stopped at ten. i honestly wish i had continued counting. do you know how cool it would be to do my 100th watch?? i’d have a whole party. my dad and i tried to do the vague guesstimate math once, and we figured something around 60 times. i don’t know how accurate that is but it sure feels like i’ve seen it 6,000 times. at this point i watch it every few months but... summer of 2017..... yikes lmao.

what’s your favorite thing about it!!! the film itself? is that an option? the entire. gosh dang,,, thing? lol but idk i think what i love most is adam’s growth, probably. i mean. it is. you can’t write an 18k pre-canon fic highlighting adam’s troubled past and then go on to write who knows how many thousand words of fic of post-canon adam just being so gosh dang happy and happier than he’s ever been without his growth and arc being your favorite part. so :”) yeah. adam deserves the whole entire world and he’s got such a big heart, he just never knew how to use it, never thought he had it in there. he’s been kicked around and torn apart and Literally Turned Into A Monster, but he still grows and learns to love and learns that maybe life can be okay for him. but also i love belle so much too. her courage, her adventurous spirit, her no-thoughts-head-empty griffindor attitude about everything. like who just sees a giant castle and is like “cool, allow me.” it’s in the genes, cuz maurice does it too shdkdksk. anyway i just love belle so much, she’s so smart and clever and sweet and KIND and she has so much compassion in her heart. so much love when she’s literally been seen as a social outcast like probably her whole life. and yet? the kindest. but also so funny and sarcastic and GAH!!! i love my girl!!!!!! and the uniting of my two favorite characters in the whole world.... it just floors me every single time.

why the heck do you love it!!!!! oh my gosh literally how to answer this. i think at this point in the essay it’s pretty clear all my passionate opinions about it LMAO. the way i usually explain it to like, my dad, for example (i’ve brought him up twice now, he’s just always been a good ear for my fangirl interests. let’s me go off about anything haha.) anyway, the way i explain it is that it just checks off all the boxes. and i don’t even know what all the boxes are, but it’s everything. i think i’ve always loved beauty and the beast (even as a kid) because it flips the damsel in distress narrative. SHE has to save HIM. and of course, that’s been done countless times. but idk, for a disney princess, for my little kid mind, belle was special and this story was different. but more specifically to batb 2017, the aesthetic just slays me. the wardrobe is exquisite. the characters are so lovely and funny and wonderful. the songs, the NEW songs!!! the DANCE!!! THE CASTING. i love the cast so much. there’s so much gosh dang heat about emma watson as belle especially and it’s like i will fight all of you in the streets come to my house my address is— okay anyway. i think the casting was absolutely 15/10 phenomenal everyone from josh gad and luke evans to audra mcdonald and stanley tucci and literally everyone in between. DAN STEVENS HAD TO DO EVERYTHING TWICE. ONCE IN THE SUIT THE BIG CGI SUIT AND ONCE MORE WITH HIS FACE TO GET BEAST’S EXPRESSIONS JUST RIGHT. the dedication. i’ll fight everyone. he did a ballroom dance in a big suit on stilts. i just. okay so yeah i love the cast and i love THE LOVE STORY OBVIOUSLY. I REFRAINED TALKING ABOUT ADELLE UP UNTIL NOW BUT HELLO?????????? i guess that’s not true i talked about them a little bit. but obviously their love story drives it and boy do i love taking that drive every single time. it’s about the enemies to friends to lovers my guy. it’s about the saving each other. it’s about the seeing each other. i’m gonna lose my mind. i need to finish this oh my gosh i don’t know how to shut up about this film.

[multsicorn]

Is Wei Wuxian your fave? Please do the meme with answers about Wei Wuxian. Thank you

[HELLO you sent me this like? weeks ago? I am answering it now!]

haha YES he IS!  (Which is very convenient, that, when one’s favorite character is also the protagonist - it means that my priorities and the show’s tend to be pretty well in alignment.)

(and why are you asking me when you’re not even in this fandom!  but I

[this is really RIDICULOUSLY long, btw.]

How I feel about this character

I love him so much OMG… I was just thinking, yesterday or maybe this morning, that it’s early to tell, y’know, but he might join my ~FAVORITES OF ALL TIME.~

He is just!  Set up so well, (~it’s cheating,~ no, that was gonna be a post), he loses so fucking much (parents, foster family/home, newly created found family/home, beloved sister, #it’s complicated wrt beloved brother, um, magical ability (#it’s complicated), hm, DIES), and he also - gets? does? etc. so fucking much.  He’s good at way too many things tbh, at fighting and playing the flute (it’s also a form of fighting, it’s a magical flute), at charming people and inventing ~NEW MAGICS~ and… pissing people off? that’s a skill lol?  He takes up farming/gardening, cause he rescued a bunch of prisoners of war who need something to eat, (and he misses food from home); he takes up raising a very small boy (he says! miss me with saying he’s not!) as his own, because someone needed to, because he was one of those same prisoners of war.

He NEVER FUCKING STOPS, no matter what anyone thinks, no matter the cost.  He’ll take a curse mark on himself or go into a dangerous trance or (any number of other things that happen in the plot) for someone he doesn’t know, or doesn’t like… just because he thinks he can, is a lot of it, and isn’t that fascinating.  And because he can, he couldn’t not.

What I meant, though, re: ~the man is non-stop!~, is: he does it with a smile, a laugh, a joke.  A bowl of wine and a delighted stroll through the woods, looking around at the leaves, or a stop at a stall selling snacks or cute ornaments.  He’s always working, always thinking, always playing - and! these are the same thing! for him!  Even though his play definitely can get more physical than anything else, there’s always still this alertness looking around for an unexpected trick.  And the work he chooses to do, not the fighting, but invention and the studying to back it up, traveling and helping people with their monster/ghost/spirit problems… that’s play, for him, it’s fun.  There’s always something new and interesting to see or find or learn or make.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

LAN WANGJI aka his canonical soulmate/boyfriend/husband/cultivation partner, the one who knows him!, my heart.  Howwww… can I explain their connection?  They love each other, of course, and probably more importantly, they get each other… they trust each other, they work so well together, they make each other so happy.  That’s one of the things that I love, that although they’re both people who are highly liked and/or admired generally in their society on a superficial level, that they’re both fucking weird people?  Wei Wuxian is charming and Lan Wangji is impeccably virtuous (and they’re both very talented), but when you get to know them, Wei Wuxian never fucking shuts the fuck up and Lan Wangji will barely say one single word… they’re both a lot to handle, in a number of different ways!  But they.  Just like each other, a lot.

And the trust between these two.  Slays me.  Wei Wuxian lets Lan Wangji hold a sword to his throat, cause he knows Lan Wangji will know if he’s ~gone too far.~  Lan Wangji defies his clan, his family, the whole cultivation world, for Wei Wuxian, because he knows, that Wei Wuxian is and was right.  They pursue justice, goodness, together… they find it in each other.

People try to set up an opposition between ‘marry your best friend’ and ‘star crossed lovers’ high-drama types of scenarios?  But these epic losers (she says with love) are both… there’s no reason why not, after all.  And I love ‘em SO MUCH.

JIANG CHENG, who is is his foster brother.  Usually I’m not one for incest?  It only tends to be something I ship when a sibling bond between characters is broken, or twisted, … or fails to really exist in the case of Luke/Leia type scenarios.  (I have never watched a Star War, but I did read Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, okay.)  The relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng (and their sister, Jiang Yanli), very very much does exist, but… Jiang Cheng stabbed his sword into the rock of the cliff that Wei Wuxian was hanging off of, and yelled at him to go to hell.  And Wei Wuxian finished yeeting himself off the cliff, and D I E D.

(it’s totally a romantic setup!  what!?)

Anyway, they both really really love each other, they need to reconcile ASAP PLZ, and pairs of characters who both really really love each other but also have deeply conflicted and fucked up and sometimes even murdery intentions towards each other are extremely my jam.  I want to smush them together!  Mostly involving conversations, and extremely fraught invitations to visit, and small significant gestures.  But also sometimes involving sex, because… why not.

SOMETIMES JIANG YANLI, though only in concert with Jiang Cheng as an OT3, because if Jiang Yanli’s still alive… you can’t have two of the three siblings together ~like that~ without a third.  (So I guess this is the first exception that I’ve found so far to my usual pattern!  Of only shipping incest when it’s already all fucked up.  Jiang Cheng’s got enough fucked-up-ness for the all of them?).  Anyway, I would like to thank the scene where Jiang Yanli shows Wei Wuxian her wedding dress for including the line from Jiang Cheng ‘you don’t think she’d marry you!?’ (to which I always say, it’s okay, Jiang Cheng, no one is leaving you out! how very dare you).

Together the two of them (Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian) are sweet and mutually supportive, and simply the delight of fucking even further with societal expectation and rumor is not going to get me shipping that.  But as a threesome!  Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian struggle with issues of insecurity, of jealousy, vis-a-vis family, and poor Yanli - she’s always trying to be enough for both of them, for everyone, and it must be very hard, … she reconciles the two of them, it’s a pattern, and they’re more united in thinking she deserves the world than they are in anything else.  It can be fun to play with.

WEN NING!!  Wei Wuxian walked away from his family and set his face against the cultivation world for Wen Ning, and Wen Qing, and their followers.  He says he would’ve done it for anyone, but in fact he does it - the prison break, the dive all the way down into dark magic - for Wen Ning.  He brings Wen Ning back to life.  Which is a huge gift, but not necessarily one that Wen Ning would’ve accepted?  But.  He doesn’t get to be asked, he was dead.

And Wen Ning, in turn, is just ridiculously incredibly loyal to Wei Wuxian.  It’s part of how Wei Wuxian brought him back to life, but - he’s the knife in Wei Wuxian’s hand.  (That’s almost literally what his sister, Wen Qing, says).  That sort of intimacy, being a human weapon, turning over your own volition, (not voluntarily! but Wen Ning’s okay with the fact that it’s a thing that happens!), to someone else, is… man, it’s a lot.

And there’s also the things Wen Ning does control: after Wei Wuxian comes back from the dead, (so they’re undead buddies! ;) in different ways), he follows Wei Wuxian everywhere he goes.  Which causes some problems!  One cannot have a zombie everywhere, with one, at all times.  Even if he does save your life when you don’t expect needing it.  … so, anyway, they both do these huge amounts of things for each other.  They won’t give up on each other.  They keep trying to take care of each other - Wei Wuxian gives Wen Ning his sword to wield.  They never ever meant to depend on each other like this, but that’s what happened when they wouldn’t let go - and now they don’t need to, by the end of the story.  But that story is A LOT, and I want them closer, and also to fuck with the controlling-the-undead angle ;).

XUE YANG!  This is a never-ending list, lol.  Anyway, if Jiang Cheng was the answer of ‘ship my two favorite characters,’ this is very much the answer of ‘ship the two characters that are hottest to me.’  ;).  Anyway, I should point out that I don’t ship-ship them.  Xue Yang’s a mass-murdering sociopath.  And even if you can catch him in the plot before he goes all mass-murdery… Wei Wuxian would never love Xue Yang.  (Never-minding the distinction between ‘love’ and ‘in love with,’ he definitely loves all the above.)  But would Wei Wuxian fuck Xue Yang?  Maybe!  If you can set it up right.

(my current attempt stalled out with Xue Yang threatening to murder a small child in Wei Wuxian’s care, so… there’s no fucking in that case.)

Anyway.  They’re very similar in some ways.  They’re fearless, they really really hate boredom, they love to fuck around… just for fun.  They’re both curious!  When Xue Yang meets Wei Wuxian, for the first time, he asks him about the charm Wei Wuxian had invented that he’s fighting him with.  While they’re fighting.  (Which really strikes me as a very Wei Wuxian move.)  Pity about the being evil thing, lol.  But Xue Yang is a demonic cultivator who’s following on the magical paths that Wei Wuxian laid out… so a sorta teacher/disciple thing could be interesting.  Again!  If you could get around the killing people thing for just a second, before of course bringing it back in to smash everything down.

and that is, finally, all the major answers re: actively shipping, (really my main ships in this show are Wei Wuxian/almost everyone he significantly interacts with, and then I guess some other people who aren’t Wei Wuxian can also have some ships too?), but a few more quick answers I’d Definitely Read:

NIE HUAISANG in a friends-who-have-sex way back during their time in summer school together.  You can’t tell me Lan Wangji thought that he wasn’t walking in on a Wei Wuxian/Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang orgy, that one time!  You can’t tell me that Nie Huaisang lent Wei Wuxian gay porn book(s?) and never at least tittered about the idea!  Their friendship at that point isn’t all that deep but… I think they both might very well find it a fun way to ~let off steam,~ or whatever, and I’d be into it.

WEN QING, even though I really like the fact that her friendship with Wei Wuxian is a hundred percent platonic (yes, it is, I’ll fight you).  I love how they run the Burial Mounds together, I love the mutual sympathy and the mix of teasing and deadly seriousness in their dynamic, what I really want is SO MUCH MORE of just their friendship - and working-together partnership! - but, you see, I have a weakness, for friends who are not romantic!  Just friends!  But they fuck once or twice or in a while for fun, in between doing things that are more important.

(Also I particularly like when they’re exes who are better off as friends, in a modern AU?  Idk somehow it just feels like a perfect fit for these two.)

… and I realize belatedly that the question asked ‘romantically’ and not ‘non-romantic fuck-buddies’ and therefore half of my answers don’t even apply, but whatever, I do what I want, and honestly for non-OTP-level ships I’m just as likely to ship them as fuckbuddies as I am romantically.  So there, meme, I cannot be constrained.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I COMPLETELY REFUSE TO CHOOSE: like, okay, fixing his relationship with his brother is the number-one most important thing to me about how canon ended.  So I guess??  I’d have to say that??  YUNMENG SHUANGJIE (the Pride Twins of Yunmeng) 4EVER, sure, definitely.  They both sacrificed everything for each other!  More importantly, to me, I think both… of them, just really miss each other a lot.  Jiang Cheng’s fucking furious at Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian’s pretty much given up on making any sort of attempt to change that, but I love them both and want them both to have everything that they still can that they want in life, and that means each other.

But I also love Wei Wuxian’s friendship with Wen Ning!  And his friendship with Wen Qing!  So much!!!  They are ALSO family, okay, they made a new home together (and then it died) ;___;.

And then!!!  The way he relates to the kids!  Is just so wonderful.  I love how he tries to be the ‘cool uncle’ to Jin Ling, how he balances the side of ‘I was an obnoxious brat too at your age… and in fact I kinda still am!’ with being a very responsible and caretaking adult.  I love the way that he gets down in the mud and plays with Sizhui as A-Yuan, being silly, and is also so thrilled and proud of Sizhui as an adult.  So uh yeah these are all of my favorite things

My unpopular opinion about this character

Hmmm I’m not so sure what’s unpopular.  (Besides a lot of my non-canon-OTP ship choices, but those aren’t really ‘opinions about the character.’  I don’t think he’s likely in near-canon-verses to be with anyone besides his husband, I just like stories where it can happen!).

I think I’ll say: I think he’s generally a pretty happy person.  He hides suffering with smiles, certainly!  That’s what he does!  But even though he has lost a lot - and even though I think he feels guilt over some things, like his sister’s death, and his nephew’s being an orphan - he doesn’t tend to dwell, on either the sorrow or the guilt in his life.  He is genuinely pretty okay... and finds ways to be okay, even happy, even in the worst parts of his life, day-to-day!  Even in the Burial Mounds, for example, when he’s missing his family and his almost-not-quite-yet boyfriend, ... sometimes he drowns in the missing, yeah, but far more often he’s happy with the things and the people that he’s growing there.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

HE AND LAN WANGJI SHOULD HAVE KISSED???  That’s the most obvious and unarguable thing.  They’re together, they’re so fucking together… on the steps of Carp Tower, in ep 42?  Or maybe in the snowy night in the Jingshi, in ep 43, before the scene faded away (to black).  (And presumably multiple times in the eps after that, but, eh, whatever).  The only reason why this didn’t happen is censorship - though I do admit, I love all the post-canon get-together fics.

Also: HE SHOULD”VE STAYED AT CLOUD RECESSES???  With Lan Wangji???  Or Lan Wangji should’ve gone with him, to ~wander the world together,~ though personally I prefer the ‘Lan Wangji is Chief Cultivator’ ending.  Anyway the fact that they separated is bullshit, (although, yes, I know all about that reunion implied in the last scene, but it’s not really satisfactory imo)… but, again, censorship.  And, again, I love!  All the post-canon fics where Wei Wuxian wanders around for some time before he finally ~comes back home~ to Lan Wangji.

Also also: if we’re talking about artistic decisions that weren’t cause of censorship: he and Jiang Cheng should’ve thawed just a little.  Been just a little bit more hopeful.  Towards each other, at the end of the show.  Jiang Cheng wanting to say something, but not..?  It was very ow, to me, it’s not a bad ow, but it needs to be remedied.  Let Jiang Cheng find a way to be able to tell his brother he misses and still loves him, please.

[gwen-writes-stuff]

Damn Shirt | Tom Holland imagine

Imagine : You and Tom coincidentally wear the same clothes.

Word count : 3280

Y/N's POV

I was digging in my closet to try and find an appropriate attire for a walk around the city. I've been away for months, Filming for Spider-Man: Homecoming so I figured that for my first day off work I'd take a lovely stroll around Los Angeles.

It's not really exciting or eventful but the aim is to relax after the many days I was working non-stop.

After what felt like an hour, I spotted a black graphic t-shirt and I don't remember having it, I grabbed it by the hanger and held it up to scan.

Satisfied I threw it on the bed to fish for my favorite pair of jeans.

In the end, I had the small section on the middle part of the shirt tucked in my favorite white jeans while the rest perform like a normal shirt should and got lazy so I topped it all off with a high-cut converse.

As boring as my fashion taste sounds like right now, I clean up nicely during premieres and formal events.

I texted my sister where I'll be meeting her and I grabbed a random sunglasses running out my house to wave my cat goodbye.

I decided against driving because I actually wanted to walk, My sister_____ wanted to shop and I gladly accepted the invite. The Starbucks I asked her to meet is just a few blocks away anyway.

While crossing the street I didn't fail to notice a number of Paparazzis lurking, I sighed, They could at least try bring subtle about it.

As much as I love the fans, fame and love for acting I didn't appreciate the invasion of privacy. I can't do anything about it because I had this coming.

A few more streets crossed and I'm inside the Starbucks where my sister greeted me with a hug, I chuckled hugging her back.

"Missed me much?" She rolled her eyes but shortly nodded. I raised a brow at her when she brought the straw of her drink to her lips. "You know what I always get."

She giggled and handed me my drink she hid god-knows-where. "So how was it?" We sat inside for a while to try and catch up. I jusst get back last night.

"Eventful. I knew taking the role of Spider-Gwen was gonna be a pain but the stunts I pulled off..." I trailed off to groan indicating I had a hard time and she smiled at that.

"Knowing you, You slayed that!" I mockingly posed like a superhero and I got a few looks from the people around.

"Well I didn't get fired." I shrugged and took a sip of my (Fave Starbucks drink) and almost choked from the following words that left my dear sister's mouth.

"So how is it working with Tom Holland then?" I blushed and I could tell just by how my cheeks instantly heat up and _____ wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Ever since I saw him as Peter in Civil War my crush on him wasn't a secret to _____ and it was sheer luck that I got the part of his love interest.

"He was sweet. Very professional." I gave her the bullshit I'll probably give the interviewers and she obviously wanted more than such a plain answer when she rolled her eyes.

"Any kissing scene?" I snorted and almost had my drink coming out of my nose and I instinctively slapped her hand that rested on the table and she was a laughing mess.

"____!" I picked up my sunglasses and wore it, "Let's just go shopping." That was what we planned afterall and she gave me a suspicious look.

I didn't answer her question and I bet she already know that there is. I did afterall play his love interest.

We went to different shops just chatting about the most random of things and Tom didn't come up anymore.

I thought I was over that part of shooting but ____ had to go and remind me, I wasn't able to sleep for a week after shooting that scene.

We had about twelve takes because he was doing the iconic hanging upside down and we were a laughing mess. Five times, He almost fell off and I was the one to steady him.

I unknowingly shook my head to try and rid myself of the memory, reminding myself that I'm professional and was snapped out of thoughts when ____ poked my side.

"Damn Paparazzis." She whispered and I glanced down at our shopping bags and I barely have space on my hand.

"Isn't this enough?" She shook her head to point out that we also had to do a back to school shopping and I complained about how far it is.

But that didn't stop her from dragging me into three more stores and I ended up going back home with sore hands but I was happy. I was told to rest by my manager but I missed ____ and shopping was our way to bond.

When I reached the comfort of my home I flopped myself on the bed and let my cat walk all over me til she settled on sleeping on my back.

I rolled my eyes at the inconvenience she just put me through, Sleeping on my back, She's lucky I love her.

My phone that I left on my nightstand to have no distractions for the day just buzzed and I groaned. Reaching for it without interrupting my Cat who very annoyingly got comfortable on my back.

I opened it to see that I got fifty missed calls from my manager and immediately shot up, My cat landed on the floor with a very nasty meow and I sent an apologetic smile her way.

Rascal just hissed at me and I turned back to my phone, What is it this time?

It must be this important if I have fifty missed calls from my freaking manager so I called her back instantly hoping for the best but getting myself ready for the worst.

I haven't had a scandal. Ever. Since the beginning of my career I have actively avoided drama in the industry so I'm beyond terrified.

"Y/N? Where have you been? You haven't been answering my calls!" My very angry manager yelled through the phone and I had to pull the phone away from my ears for a moment.

"I went shopping with ____ and I know, I just got home and I left my phone. Sorry?" I replied quietly that I doubt it even reached the other end of the call.

I heard a very loud sigh and I braced myself for the news, "Are you dating Tom?" I was frozen from kneeling down on my bed.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh because that is ridiculous and how much would I be paying Tom to be my boyfriend? Cry because it's a slap to the face that I would laugh at how impossible it is to be with my crush.

"Y/N are you there?" I was pulled back to reality, I coughed to get rid of the forming lump in my throat and shook my head but I realised that I'm on the phone.

"No, Why would you ask that?" Fifty missed calls? What could I have possibly done to be linked to Tom when I was yet to do interviews with him?

I have a week to myself before interviews start and I already have this question from my manager?

"I'm sending you the links." With that she ended the call and I shakily scrolled to see my feed on twitter.

I didn't need to check the links (Manager's name) sent when I already know what the issue is.

Y/N L/N and Tom Holland dating?!

Actors starring in the upcoming Marvel film Spider-Man : Homecoming, L/N and Holland, Dating?

Those are just two of the many article title that have blurred my vision, I haven't seen Tom since the last shooting so why would people assume this?

I clicked one link and I could feel my cat snuggle into my lap as I read the article with shaking vision, I was too nervous.

Y/N L/N was spotted shopping with her sister _____ wearing a very familiar Black T-shirt that fans pointed out to be exactly like the actor Tom Holland's just this morning (Random date).

Pictures of her walking out of Starbucks were all over the internet when one fan pointed out that Tom Holland wore the same shirt months ago (Random date again lol) and alot more agreed.

This lead to fans believing that the shirt was originally Tom's and he had given Y/N the shirt when they started dating, Their relationship is not confirmed to be official but fans are expecting to hear the truth from the two young actors.

At the very end is a picture of me walking out of Starbucks and next to it is a picture of Tom crossing the road. I squint my eyes to see that our shirts did look exactly alike and how unfortunate it is that I just pulled that very shirt out my closet out of boredom this afternoon.

This is utterly ridiculous.

Before I could sleep the stress off I saw a highlighted notification, Tom tweeted me.

One of the many articles is attached and I braced myself for embarassment and cringe.

@ TomHolland1996 tweeted :

@Y/Nofficial Now you gotta give me my shirt back 😉😂

With that tweet he's not making any of this any better! I groaned in frustration and dropped on the bed face first, Glad my cat left knowing she was being ignored and I drifted into sleep thinking about the drama waiting.

***

It's been a week and interviews with Tom are coming up, We had a few with other cast members like Zendaya but the first one I'll be having is with Tom and questions about the shirt will surely come up.

My stupid ass forgot that shirt is actually Tom's.

I don't really remember the events following how the shirt ended up in my closet but it was really his.

How'd I know? I called him the next morning asking about that tweet.

The week went smooth, I went to the beach and a road trip with _____ to Vegas. The rumours about Tom and I dating still hasn't died down.

I suggested we go apart to lessen the assumption but he insisted we shouldn't let the issue affect our friendship which lead me to think.

Are Tom and I friends? Because Homecoming was the first time we worked together and I doubt he even knew of my existence before then.

We worked together, Got acquainted fast and got along...sort of but I wouldn't really call us friends. He was always closer to Zendaya who he always hang out with in between breaks and he was best friends with Jacob who he always talked to and we only ever made small talks.

He seemed to be so uninterested in me that I found it awkward to kiss him on camera when I felt like he didn't want me around but it was as if something changed and we were fooling around and teasing like good friends that after twelve takes, We got the job done.

As of now I'm in a dressing room watching Carla, my stylist fix my hair. I didn't want my make-up to be too much since I wasn't feeling too extra so I did it myself.

When it was finally time for the interview I was greeted by Tom who said an inaudible 'Hi' which I replied with a small smile.

“Y/N, Tom, It's nice to have you here.” The female interviewer chirped as we took our seats and I laid back with legs crossed, My hand rested on my thighs.

“Thank you.” I replied with a polite smile, “Pleasure's ours.” Tom added as she shook hands with us.

“Well you can call me Maddie. So let's start?” Maddie asked and we nodded, I turned to look at Tom who also turned to look at me with an innocent smile.

“So Y/N, We know that Tom has a background in Dance and Gymnastics but you don't?” I shook my head stealing a glance at Tom because I can feel the weight of his stare and it's honestly making me uncomfortable.

Not because he makes me uncomfortable, god no, But because of my stupid crush.

“I don't, I do dance around the house and in the shower.” I joked and Maddie let out a soft chuckle. I can dance really well if I actually tried but gymnastics? Nope!

“So how was your stunts? You had no background whatsoever, How did you do it?” Despite having not learned fighting or gymnastics I still insisted on doing my own stunts which surprised many, Even myself.

I went through alot of training and hardwork to even come close to an average performance, I shifted in my seat.

“Well, I may be no gymnast but my ballet days did a huge part. That, Along with practice and just determination to learn.” Satisfied with my answer Maddie looked down at her cards.

“Tom. This one's for you.” I fought the urge to turn to Tom and kept my eyes on Maddie as she spoke while looking down at her cards because I didn't wanna look at Tom.

Why? I am a hundred percent sure that I would be way too distracted by how perfect his hair looks and how pretty his eyes are.

But thinking about being distracted, distracted me anyways that the next question is directed to me that I didn't even notice Tom already answered his.

“What was the hardest part in playing Gwen?” I silently thanked God that none of the questions directed at me so far are about my body or diet.

“I think it's the stunts. Everything else is a breeze but the stunts man!” I answered and the three of us erupted into laughter.

“Back to Tom, How was it working with Y/N?” This time I instinctively turned and instantly regretted it when our eyes met and locked.

He leaned towards his left side to get a better look at me and my insides screamed. “She's...amazing.” He said almost out of breath and I could only pray to God that I'm not blushing right now.

I saw Maddie in the corner of my eyes raise her brow suggestively, Leaning forward to not miss a potential tea-spilling as I'd like to call it.

“She makes it easy, She's very professional and a really great actress. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm acting anymore, You know?” His cute accent trailing behind every word as I listen to my heart race. But he plays as my boyfriend?

“So what is the funniest thing that happened on set?” Maddie asked directed to the both of us and I almost jumped at my seat from excitement.

“The kissing scene.” Tom with a dropped jaw looked at me as if I spoiled something but that's his job. Must've wanted that memory kept a secret.

“Do tell.” Maddie replied with a small smirk on her features that I failed to notice because I was too busy recalling the events.

“We had to take twelve takes.” Tom spoke up stifling a laugh. He was shaking his head with a toothy grin.

“I don't even remember why we were laughing but before our lips could even meet we would burst out laughing like idiots.” I added laughing at the end of my sentence and so did Maddie imagining how ridiculous we Must've looked like.

The interview went on well and Maddie was really nice but I knew the inevitable was coming so when she said we were off to the last one, I shifted again in my seat. Nonchalantly moving an inch away from Tom and pretended to ignore the small frown he gave me when he noticed.

“So this might be a little hot of an issue but you were spotted wearing his shirt, Right?” Maddie asked me gesturing her hand to Tom and I nodded. “How did that happen?”

I raised a hand like a schoolgirl to indicate I wanted to go first. “I didn't know it was his–I mean I did but I didn't remember. I was just digging through my closet and went ‘Oh that shirt looks cool’ so I went ahead and wore it.” I turned to Tom, “How did that get in my closet, Tom?”

I asked with a slight tease and a cheeky grin but I didn't expect him to look serious, He coughed and clasped his hands together. “Funny story actually.” He began.

“We were shooting this one scene in the night and it was really cold but when we were wrapping up I found this woman sitting alone in the corner hugging herself.” I would've grabbed a jacket but I was too cold I found it hard to move and my manager and assistant were talking to the staffs.

“So I ran to search my bag for anything, A jacket but I saw the shirt and I remember it being warm and I was afraid she would've froze by the time I find a jacket so I gave it to her.” I remember now, Just how my heart skipped a beat when I looked up to see who owned the extended hand.

Tom with his pretty face illuminated by the moonlight, His damn boyish grin. If I wasn't sitting down I would've dropped on the floor because my knees turned jelly.

“So you two are not dating?” Maddie asked and I couldn't answer, It hurts to say no and I wondered if it's still just a silly crush if it's hurting me.

I figured I'd let Tom answer but even he just stared at me so I raised a brow at him. Maddie cleared her throat but our eye contact didn't break.

“Are you two dating?” Maddie repeated herself changing thd question slightly and I can hear hope lacing in her voice but I shook my head still looking at Tom.

“Unfortunately not.” Tom replied and my jaw dropped at that, What did he just say? “But if miss L/N would be kind enough to go on a date with me then there would be a big possibility.” I was lost for words.

Is he serious or just stoking the flame of this hot rumour? Tom wouldn't do that just to gain more attention but he couldn't be serious about wanting to go on a date with me?

“I — I'm sorry, What?” Maddie was making inhuman noises of joy while I look at Tom with wide eyes and he only flashed me the same boyish grin.

“Is that a yes?” I couldn't form a word so I nodded slowly while Maddie clap and Tom look away briefly, Jesus, Is he blushing?

My manager is going to kill me.

Breaking News ! Spider-Man : Homecoming actor, Tom Holland just asked co-star Y/N L/N on a date during an interview.

Watch the interview here!

well this was long as fuck. I didn't really know how to start and end this because I just have this one stupid idea of you and Tom coincidentally wearing the same shirt and people going crazy about it so forgive how shitty this is.

PS : I take requests~

[ai-da-ice]

[Fan Account] Da-iCE’s NEXT PHASE Live in Saitama!

Da-iCE hasn’t listed a tour date for Tokyo yet (which makes me think another performance might be added to the end of the tour, but of course this is just me guessing), so for my very first Da-iCE tour performance, I made the trip to nearby Saitama to see them perform during their second day of the tour at Misato Cultural Center. It was about an hour and a half from my apartment, but as I’ve mentioned before, Japanese performances don’t require you to line up early-- if it’s a seated venue, like this one was, you’ll have the same seat no matter how early you get there, and standing venues still have entrance order numbers written on the ticket.

Once inside, there were several vendors. One to encourage people to sign up for the fan club, one selling Da-iCE albums, one passing along info for signing up for a credit card with Da-iCE's image on it, and lastly the standard merch table. I'd already purchased the light stick, but this time I also grabbed a tote bag since my normal purse isn't big enough to carry around the giant novels I'm always reading >_<

For this tour, I finally broke my bad streak of lotto numbers and snagged a seat in the third row. Each row was divided into left stage, middle stage, and right stage. I was the leftmost seat in the left stage area, and based on the dance formations, we got a lot of visits from Yudai and Taiki in particular throughout the night.

Before the show, the staff asked us to take out our light sticks, and we were all surprised to find out that they have a special function! When they're in range of the current concert venue, they can be controlled to change colors from their standard purplish-blue shade. Throughout the night, they were frequently moved from red to green to yellow to aqua blue and so on. The staff did a really good job of matching them to the tone of the songs and stage lights.

After demonstrating the light sticks' magic power, there was a short, futuristic intro video, and then the boys stepped out of this cool, dice shaped construction made out of the video screens and the show began!

Breaking down the night by song:

NEXT PHASE: When the album came out, Da-iCE claimed this would be their new show opener to replace FIGHT BACK, and it really fills the role well! The boys were wearing different costumes than their Tonikaku HEY gear, but their looks had a similar theme-- bright colors paired with retro style jackets. They all looked amazing (Sota’s back to 100% red hair!) and kicked off the show with some very strong dancing.

Watch Out: Even though this song came out last year, it's really grown as one of my favorites, so I was psyched that this was their follow up. Once again, it was a great pick to bring up the energy, and the vocals were as on point as ever. I love the bouncy parts of the dance during the “Won’t you try it?” section of the chorus.

Step Back: This was our first use of prop/special stage design of the night, and let's just say CHAINS WERE INVOLVED. I'm not joking. The set design featured prison-esque bars and the boys danced with prop chains binding their wrists. And yes, it was as good as it sounds. This was my first time seeing this song live, and I have to say that the dance was stellar!

Noise: After Step Back, the boys had a short introductory MC (trolling Sota ensues) where they also asked everyone how many "Phase" concerts they've been to ever since Phase 0 kicked off. They transitioned into Noise, one of my fave songs from Fight Back, using headphone props. Every time one of the boys put on the headphones, a certain kind of music would play and they would dance to it. For example, when Taiki put his on, it was a really upbeat techno track, so he did an almost seizure-like dance to it, then close with one of his trademark funny faces when he pulled the headphones off. When it was Yudai's turn, the intro to Noise started, and the boys began the performance with the headphones on. Every time they pulled them off, the music would change to tinny and muted, in the radio-esque style the original song evokes. It was really well done! But as Yudai mentioned on Twitter yesterday, he did make a few mistakes in his timing of pulling of the headphones, but I wish he wouldn't worry too much since it was a really complex performance and overall they did a good job with it!

Free Falling: This was our second set design on the night. A table with several chairs and a round of shot glasses (and I think some Jack Daniels as well?) were brought out, and the boys delivered this more rock-based number with a smoky bar room theme. They made good use of the chairs and table in the dance routine as well, and the performance came across like a cool, movie-like moment.

Chocolate Sympathy: Since the chairs were out, it was time for Da-iCE's famous chair dance routine paired with one of their sexiest songs. Chocolate Sympathy should be illegal, that song paired with that dance is too much all at once T^T. As I was watching, I kept on thinking how badly I want a CS instrumental because that beat is jamming, and in a sense I got my wish, because after the performance was over, it was time for performance solos from the dance line to the tune of the CS instrumental (remixed slightly, naturally). They played a quick game of Musical Chairs to determine who would go first. Hayate lost (after Toru took his chair, causing Hayate to dramatically fall over), so he led off. His dancing, unsurprisingly, WAS DOPE. Following his solo, he dashed offstage, and it was Taiki's turn. After, Taiki and Toru did a bit of a duo dance together, then Toru wrapped up, and both he and Taiki left the stage.

Koigokoro: Immediately Koigokoro kicked off with a costume change, since Yudai and Sota had been backstage during the dance solos. They were now wearing dark pants paired with a white dress shirt with a simple design in black down the front paired with a black bow tie. VERY sharp. The two vocals started off, and since Hayate had also had enough time to change costumes, he led off the dancing solo. Taiki and then Toru appeared later in the song. This is by far one of my fave Da-iCE songs and one of my faves to watch live. The vocal line absolutely kills it, and the dance is beautiful and emotional. One of my faves of the night.

Reason: Since we were in slow song mode, they transitioned into Reason, paired with a background video of the boys walking through the streets of Japan. This is one of the most beautiful songs off the new album but I keep forgetting that, so this was a good reminder to have it on rotation more often.

Sugar High: While the Reason videos were playing, the staff had set up coat racks with blue velvet suit jackets behind the screens. When I saw them, I thought next up would be Kirenai Mama no Coat, but it was actually our new OT5 track from Tonikaku HEY, Sugar High! Dressed in their daper jackets, all five members participated in the harmonies in the track, and they did a FANTASTIC job. I really do hope Da-iCE continues this trend in the future. Taiki is already at a great level of vocal ability, and Toru and Hayate’s confidence in their abilities seems to have skyrocketed.

Setsunakute (acoustic): And continue the trend they did! As a B-side to a pre-debut single, this song doesn't get much play at concerts, but Da-iCE brought it back with all 5 members on vocals! Not only did the dance line sing, but they actually sang the majority of the song! I'm praying Da-iCE will release this in some form, because it was glorious. Taiki did the first chorus on Toru did the second, and both of them delivered beautiful.

Yudai darted off stage following this performance, leaving the other four members to handle the MC while he changed costumes. The members speculated what Yudai would talk about for a solo MC and decided on 'protein'. Sure enough, when Yudai emerged in the new costume (black, white, and red-- Da-iCE's colors!), he chose to talk about protein while the other members changed. Unfortunately, I have a very limited knowledge of protein vocab, so I didn't quite follow >_<

[at this point, I can't remember for sure which of the next two songs was performed first, but I'm making an educated guess here lol]

Into You: All the boys were now in their Da-iCE colors after the costume change. They looked great, but Taiki's black piece, a button down, had the misfortune of sporting Guy Fieri-like flames... Taiki, I thought you were the fashionista!

I wasn't expecting Into You to be performed, so I was pleasantly surprised when it was! This is Da-iCE’s killer cover, and they SLAYED it live. And the Hayate jump kick move from the music video was there as well. And Sota's iconic "A little dangerous my boy" :D

I'll be back: Since we got Setsunakute, we also got I'll be back! This will also slightly edited, so instead of the Sota rap(ish?) bits on the second verse, we got a dance break. I'm personally a huge fan of Da-iCE dance breaks, so even though the performance was a little shorter than the original track, it was an amazing watch.

Fantasy: Another track I've never seen performed before, and another track improved by adding a dance break to the live performance. It makes me wish the dance break instrumental was part of the original track, I think it really enhanced it!

Five: Our first pre-debut mini album classic! This is one of my personal favorites from the pre-debut era because I love how the lyrics represent their bond as five members. I'm hoping for them to turn this into an OT5 vocal song one day, but as for now, I was thrilled to see this live finally! Also, our section finally got a much needed dose of Hayate fan service when he visited left stage.

Tonikaku HEY: Before performing their latest single, Da-iCE did a mini competition to see who could get the loudest audience "HEY"... of course, it was Sota vs. the rest of the members :D All a-i are winners, so the boys didn't choose favorites in the end. This song is kind of like the new "Hush Hush" where the audience participates in the dance since the moves during the chorus are simple hand movements the audience can follow. It's such a fun live track and you can tell the group really loves performing it.

BOND: This is a pretty light hearted song, so the boys were mainly paling around during the performance. For the set design, three sets of big white steps (the symbol for NEXT PHASE) on wheels were brought out, and the members played around on the steps and wheeled each other around. As the audience, we were in charge of the "pa-pa-party party" vocals

Stand: Another pre-debut mini-classic! The boys had stashed autographed balls under their stairs, so spent a portion of this track pitching them to the audience. None came close to me, but a girl at the other end of my row caught TWO. Guess my luck could have been a little better, even though I got third row.

Kimiiro: After all their fun with the last song, the boys calmed down and directed our attention to the screens, which flashed the release date for the new single. They than had a full performance of the new single, which I LOVE. It's not quite in the same vein as their previous summer singles, though it is uptempo. If anything, I think its vibe is half way between those songs and Sora, which is a really good sound for them. Can't wait for the release!

TWO AS ONE: I saw this performed live at Tokyo Swish and their vocals and choreo combination was really moving moment at the time, so it was beautiful to see it again. I love the MV, but I really wish more of the choreo was featured so you all could see it. I really think the story it tells is beautiful, especially since it's a thank you song to the fans.

ENCORE TIME!

Everybody: We heard the opening words of Everybody, but Da-iCE was nowhere to be found onstage...we whirled around...and there they were, in the audience! The five members walked around the aisles and shook hands with fans as they passed, much to everyone's delight! A lot of areas were reached by all five members, but the staff kept blocking the group from coming to my area because it was a tight squeeze between the edge of the rows and the side stage. Toru didn't care and broke through anyways. I made good use of having two hands and got a double handshake from Toru as he passed. YES!

Osaka Lover: I love this cover from the new single and think it's perfect for summer, so I'm glad they included it in their encore line up. The dance was great, so I'm extra psyched that we're getting an MV for this on the upcoming single!

Paradive: Da-iCE's most famous single closed out the night in upbeat, towel waving style. It's such a fun song, and Hayate's dance part during the instrumental has become so beloved that the members shout out "HAYATE" before he starts it. It's a great way to close on a happy and exciting note!

The two girls sitting next to me had talked to me before the encore and found out my favorite member was Sota. I'm not sure what I did to deserve such generosity, but one girl gave me a Sota NEXT PHASE wristband, and the other gave me Sota postcards. I was really so touched! At every Da-iCE I've been to, people have come up to me and asked me about how I got into the group, which is really so amazing for me! I feel a little awkward sometimes being a foreigner who stands out a lot since I'm the kind of person who prefers people (members of Da-iCE excepted) not to focus on me, but everyone has really shown me kindness and helped me to become more comfortable. My first Da-iCE tour performance was a total blast!!!

[letlhogonolotakesuclalaw]

Two months and I am still here.

Are you shrinking yourself again, darling? - Ijeoma Umebinyuo

Ijeoma has a way with words and always tends to allow me to ask the deepest questions. Like, I mean, are you shrinking yourself again? I know all about this shrinking, the ability to make yourself feel invincible, I do that often. Like, I think in the last month I have asked myself a thousand times whether I deserve to be here. I've had numerous phone calls with friends - which all start with 'Please tell me that I am doing okay and everything is going well’ which is weird right?? I am the one who is supposed to know all this and be able to confidently answer, but on some days I don't. You know this impostor things sucks, it steals away so much of your joy. Growing up black and marginalised really does a number on you hey. Working in racist corporate South Africa also adds to that. And now I am here, trying to figure out if I deserve to be here.  And I know that some of you might be thinking, “but he has achieved so much why is he complaining”. I would like to agree with you but it's not that simple.  The impostor syndrome is not only a individual thing, it is truly a reflection of a bigger systematic problem of white supremacy, which was really caused some deep internal traumas that won't go away over night. 

Previously, I spoke about rejection and I think that one of the manifestation of my impostor is that I am afraid that I will be rejected. It happens when you've gone through life being rejected like I have. This rejection has made me believe that I haven't achieved anything until some people accept my achievement. It's absurd, right? See, the thing is that I've had to perform my love all my life to be accepted. I remember when I was young, I told myself that I should to be a straight A student, in the top ten of my high school so that my family could see me and be proud of me. I've been doing that my whole life, it has become second nature even, but have they seen me? I don't know... and I think to some extent that rejection keeps manifesting itself.

A few weeks ago in the middle of campus, while talking to one of the Professors, I cried. I legit just broke down because I felt that I don't belong in this space, like I am a fraud. She was so reassuring. She said, "you are an outstanding student, one of the top student in class and I appreciate your insights and learning a lot from you. And you know what, we want you so much that you are fellowshipped to be here.” This all sounds so amazing but sometimes, to be honest, I don't believe it. And I know I promised to work on this impostor, I really am. Some days are really hard. I will tell you one thing that works for me though, every morning I wake up and look into the mirror and do declarations.

 I am enough. I am deserving. I am capable. I am a force. I am magic.

 Hahahah! I'm not sure if it is working, but I am embracing it. My mentor has advised me to embrace it so I am going to do that until I believe it.

I miss home. Like really, I miss it. I didn't know that the feeling of belonging in another country would be so challenging. It is like an adventure of self -discovery. I am learning so much about myself and it is not always good. I think sometimes the humdrum of our lives help us not deal with a lot and now I am here, mostly by myself to deal with all that is on my mind. On the 5 February this year, Puleng gave me a message about this being the year of dealing for me. That I would have to face my own heart and do that alone. So, here I am physically removed from the hearts I hid my heart in and I am proper dealing. Like, I am proper out here looking at God doing the most with me.

Anyway, it's not all bad. I am starting to create a community for myself, which I find really helps. A week or so ago, I had coffee with Prof Robin Kelley, he is amazing. Just check him out, you won't  be disappointed. Anyway, I spoke to him about the concept of ownership and how I am struggling to take ownership of my space here. He said something so profound which changed my perspective on things. He said, “why should we own things? he believes rather that we should relinquish ownership and just be.” For a moment, I was like what the heck? But then it dawned on me that in some ways, as people, we are so obsessed with taking up space that we don't realise certain spaces weren't created for us so we can't really take ownership of that space in the truth, taking ownership may in some ways be reinforcing the system. We don't want to reinforce, we want to dismantle. So now, I am not concerned about ownership. I am more concerned by being myself in my fullness. Just being.

You know what, Twitter is quite amazing. I have honestly connected with such amazing people both here and back home and it has been incredible. I met Rebekah on Twitter and we had coffee the other day. Guys, first, she's stunning! We had the best conversations - about race, God, SA, UCLA, reparations and black joy. You know those people that just hear your heart. Like you don't have to explain much, and they get it. That's how I felt when I spoke to her. There was such an authentic and deep vulnerability between her and I - two strangers who instantly became friends. And I think that's the beauty of authentic, meaningful conversations. Its two hearts connecting. Anyway, I also, later that week, met her husband and my goodness, they are a beautiful couple and I was just yaaaas and celebrating the black love. It is important, I have found, to surround ourselves with display of black love in whatever form it comes in.  We spent the day together yesterday head wrapping in the park. The event was amazing - black people, music, and food.

Okay, now hold on tight to your invisible pearls.

I WENT TO PROF CHERYL HARRIS’S HOUSE! SOMEBODY SCREAM!!! Me, Letlhogonolo, I was there. It was amazing! Kween Harris has a lovely home and the food we had was really great. It was a Braai for all the black students and faculty. This is where I met Prof Achiume - a slaying Kween!  The black womxn here are so life giving. She also worked at the Constitutional Court. She has been named by the Human Rights Council of the United Nations to be Special Rapporteur on Contemporary Forms of Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance. She is the first Black womxn and first person from southern Africa to serve in the role, which was created in 1993.. Like the first Black womxn from Southern Africa. What type of magic is this? It can only be that BLACK GIRL MAGIC! AFRICAN EXCELLENCE in the face of unending pervasive mediocrity. 

You will also be happy to know that I've found a church. One Church in LA, a predominantly black church where the aunties are screaming and doing all that spiritual dance moves, all of that good stuff. The Word is so relevant. Last week, Megan Good's husband, Devon Franklin, preached and brought the fire. It has been important to stay rooted in the Word. So, pray for me friends.

Oh my goodness, I thought going to Kween Harris house was the highlight to my time here , then i got to meet YRSA Daley- Ward. Yes, you read correctly, i got to meet, see and engage with the ineffable Yrsa. She has such an amazing presence. like, you can see that she is comfortable in her own skin, in her bone(s) see what I did there? She performed pieces from her anthology and even performed a piece called “Sthandwa sami”, which means Beloved in isiZulu.  This piece is written in english with some Zulu words. She was written to impress a love interest and it worked, and the moral of this story is to learn a new langua and write poetry. I am kidding!!!!!! it is not always that easy. Anyway, her magic was so great that I had to honour her during the Q&A. Honouring Black people, especially Black womxn and Black queer people is important for me. It is important to say thank you to the people that continue to say over lives  Her work has been so much healing and affirmation that I matter. In an interview she said: 

“All in all I think we should talk more about what is affecting us, what makes us sad, or desperate or afraid. The irrationality of our emotions too, because feelings are never easy, or logical, or clean. … Falling apart can be necessary.” 

I mean like, falling apart can be necessary. Yaaaaas Yrsa come through.  You know how much I love poetry and Black womxn, her is a TEDTalk about Yrsa talking her move to South Africa, falling in love and finding her voice. https://youtu.be/aAZEWdb_vMg

Here is pictures from my time with her. It was amazing. I was living my best life. My heart is very happy, very happy !!!!!!!

(She's so happy to see me) 

(New faves here, serving looks)

(Isn't she beautiful?)

   I gotta go now, so I’ll leave you with the powerful words of Ijeoma:

 'Tell me, now that you are here, will you wither or bloom?'