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#my parents didnt say this my sibling did
snekthedemonnoodle · 10 months
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i hate it when people get mad and say 'what's wrong with you?' nothings wrong with me, i just messed up you still got mad enough at me to think that something went 'wrong' with me. i mean, yeah, i think some pretty messed up things, and yeah, i can be kind of a jerk, and yeah, i can be kind of aggressive, but nothing's wrong with me. we just both happen to be in a bad mood. nothing's wrong with me. nothing's wrong with me. nothing's wrong with me. nothing's wrong with me nothings wrong with me nothings wrong with menothings wrong with me nothings wrong with me nothings wrong withme nothings wrong with me nothings wrong with me nothings wrong with me nothings wrong with me nothings wrong with me
nothing is fucking wrong with me
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skunkes · 8 months
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#prefacing this with I Know Spanish. i cant not know spanish‚ my parents don't speak english#but im the only one of my siblings that didnt get to go to school over there 🇲🇽 (just pre school)#adn the thing is like. my siblings wld talk to me in eng of course#(if they talked to me at all! what do u say to a baby when you're 9 12 and 15 yrs older.)#and my parents wld similarly jst not talk to me? i did not have conversations with them from birth to now lol.#thjere is something about how like. my sisters kids are also learning the languages at the same time#but when they mess up in spanish theyre corrected‚ by my sister (their mom)‚ my other sister‚ my parents#why not Me. why wasnt that extended to Me as a child...#the same reason I have the least amount of baby pictures while my siblings all have one full book each i bet#the same reason why my and my eldest sister are 15 yrs apart LOL#igts so crazy to me. i hate mentioning this bc people assume#im one of those ppl who isnt fluent bc their parents speak english and spanish and never taught them#my parents dont speak english❗❗❗❗#my nephew thats older than me who is my fave family member and also only speaks spanish#is coming up on sunday idk that i can fully carry convo with him!#pure spanglish bc i didnt grow up having convos in it writing it reading it#thats why im so desperate to read books in spanish now. im so deeply ashamed#igts so crazy. i hate it.#saw a comment on smthng the other day thats like ''idk how u can have parents that only speak spanish and not know it lol''#well can you take a guess. can u take a guess as to how that would happen via interactions. lack thereof.#idk why but its even more embarrassing this way. genuinely how cld u not know...?#its like i was born to feel isolated from my family in every single way...youngest by so many years#the language thing. the Hates Eating thing. the trans thing. most severe failure to launch#im so embarrassed to be alive....!#and i dont belong anywhere. and i am Alone wherever I am.#abandoned by direct and distant relatives. ancestors.
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thenamessparkplug · 8 months
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shoutout to my old 4th grade teacher for being more supportive of me one time 6 months ago than my own mother's ever been< 3333
#it was like such a tiny interaction but i also never forgot#it was during some kind of family party thing for kids parents (and siblings) to come and eat pizza and some other stuff i dont remember#and anyways my brother(who currently goes to this school) wanted to go so my whole family went#and while i was there my mom saw my old 4th grade teacher and was like “omg you should go talk to her”#and i was like yeah i should she was a really cool lady actually#so i nervously was like “hi” and didnt think shed recognize me at all#but she IMMEDIETLY was like “ITS YOU! /pos”#she then points to my shirt and asks me “hey are those your pronouns now?”#and this was back when i still wore pronoun/pride pins in general#and i was like “yeah actually!” because no adult had ever asked me about it before and i was so happy to like be recognized as a person#and she gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me and how much id grown and i /maybe/ got a little close to tears but ignore that#and my mom just stood there the whole time#she didnt say anything#she didnt smile#and this was not my first time wearing my pronoun pin my TRANS FLAG pin even#never once did she acknowledge it#also like a month later she made fun of me for it and i havent worn one since#uh yeah anyways#sorry for ranting lmao#or ig venting?? this was not my intention mb mb#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgtbq#lgbtqia#(to be clear my mom has made it very clear she will never support me on numerous occasions it wasnt like a one time thing lmao)#tw vent??#tw vent
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animmal · 26 days
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getting a handle on mavis is kinda 😵‍💫 bc on the one hand she's an empath (literally) and is shown to generally have more emotional intelligence/maturity than dr🅰️x/nebs/rocket combined, but at the same time she apparently saw no problem at all whatsoever w kidnapping kevin 🥓 for peter 😭 which is like???? i mean maybe those two things can be true at the same time but like... How. 😭 is she an empath or is she okay w taking people against their will to give as a present to her brother ?
#just some thoughts b4 bed...#ooc.#james 🔫 leaving me to have to make sense of this all like ok thanks#i do think she's somewhat Stunted in regards to social behaviour that's considered acceptable or appropriate#bc for most of her life she lived on ego's planet w literally nobody else but him and his children (her half siblings) that he kept killing#he straight up didnt even acknowledge he was her father. he had her call him Master. so like... yeah. no parenting done there#but she gets Most of that sorted out when she meets the guardians i think#(like basically she figures out how Not to act by looking at dr🅰️x and 🚀 lol)#im also 100% sure gam🅾️ra would've taught her some things woman to woman (my girl i'll avenge u from what goftg3 did to u)#so u would THINK w/ all that mavis would think twice before just straight up kidnapping a guy. but No#im gna say this is bc mavis kinda has a one track mind. what she knows is that peter is sad and she wants to cheer him up#dr🪓 gives her a solution: get peter his fave hero#she goes yay! and is so fixated on that part of it that she doesn't stop to consider the consequences#bc kevin is just. part of the goal at this point and not a person#so she's always. Always well intentioned. just sometimes doesn't think about all the angles as much as she should#does that make sense? i hope so. imc rying#well intentioned but doing fucked up things also applies to that scene where she erases dra❌'s memory#bc he's sad!!!!!!! he was hurt by something she said so she wanted to take it away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but she just went and took his memory of it without asking without even stopping to think if she should and that's#beautiful to me bc mavis is sweet and empathetic and she LOVES him just like she does all the other guardians#but she's fucked up too!!!!!! like the rest of them!!! just in different ways and i Love that in a woman#anyway. god. ive spoken too much in the tags. apparently i have a lot of feelings about this
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cheesepuffet · 4 months
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The good ending
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this-doesnt-endd · 6 months
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I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors
#my moms dad and my dads mom were like the heads of their families and they both died really close to each other#but my grandma and a tio on my moms side died within 3 days of each other after being in hospice literally 3 doors away from each other#for months and my parents both took the roles of like taking care of everything and being the descision makers cause no one else would#which im sure was super traumatizing in everyway possible but their siblings both seemed to resent them in ways#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest#but like it just ruined the families and me and mom and my dad were all at the hospital or hospice center for months#we were there every day and night i remember it so much i can get anywhere in any hospital in my town using the stairwells#like i knew them that well#it also likely ruined my parents marriage which was bumpy before the intense major tragedy#which like yaknow what fair it was a lot to deal with ontop of like trying to crawl ur way out of the recession#but after all was said and done i talk to no one on my dads side i bearly talk to my older brother#and i talk to like my nina and two tias on my moms side and occassionally a few cousins#when theyre arent being fucking insane and unhinged#idk i loved having a huge family the like going to 5 houses on christmas type#going to birthdays or weddings and seeing everyone taking at least 45 mins to say bye to everyone#and now its gone and i wont ever get it back#and its by no fault of my own cause i was literally 11 and every adult decided i was gonna pay the price too#like i think abt when i get married its not gonna be what i thought itd be or when i get my first movie in theatres#im not gonna have the major family celebration ill have all my friends which im so greafull for#but its not the same yaknow#and id love to have that relatiomship with my family again but like where do u start when its been over 10+ years#like they remember 11 year old me if they remember me#and thats part of the problem#like on my moms side specifically i have some family who acts like theyve never met me before when i used to see them every weekend#and it was a major failing on my part as an 11 year old for not keeping in touch even tho we did my mom calls everyone and she tried#but people didnt want to return it#and as for my dads side its the same and if it was a moral failing for me as an 11 yr old to not reach out and they didnt like my mom much#my grandma fucking loved her but the rest of the family didnt and like i lived w my mom and was fucking 11 i couldnt go anhwhere by myself#and i didnt like not being places without a parent and i hated sleepovers i refused and they took it so personal#and they stopped talking to my dad and bad mouthed him and still do nd ill never allow that around me my dad isnt perfect but hes a good man
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zemnarihah · 10 months
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man
#i went to go see my dad bc his mom died this morning. and he was like clearly having a hard time with it i think more so than he was really#letting on. and its weird bc i was telling erik how it feels like nowadays this is like. a different version of my dad like it really doesn#feel like the same person who traumatized me and my siblings growing up. that feels like a ghost almost idk. but he was talking to me abt#his mom who from the little bits ive gathered here and there i can assume she was pretty emotionally abusive to him. but he said.#'my mom definitely made a few mistakes with me. but i have to try to move on and live my life as best as i can'. god i felt like i was#looking in a mirror. he seemed so sad it was like he was trying to convince himself. and trying so hard not to be mad even though he has#every right to. but i guess at a certain point you do have to let it go. idk. i guess i never really see him be very vulnerable except when#it comes to the church. he did talk about the church as well he said that as much as she mistreated him hes grateful she gave him faith in#god and that he thinks thats the most important thing a parent can give their child. and i didnt rlly know what to say ig mostly i was just#letting him talk. but god. it was hard. i hope maybe this is like.his chance to let go of all the hurt from his childhood. that he gets to#finally grieve it along with her. idk.#i feel like my view of my father gets more complicated every year i get older. i just dont always know how to reckon with it.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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like pirating is so normal 2 me i forget there r ppl who r like antipiracy which btw is stupid. obviously
#LIKE. IDK ITS JUST WEIRD. WDYM YOUR PARENTS JUST.. BOUGHT MOVIES ?????? did you not eat as a child. be serious#that happens sm where ill be like haha. yeah. you guys remember the ol 'oh im not hungry' trick your dad used to pull#and everybodys like what. no and im like no you know where hed be like oh im not hungry but after everybody else ate hed grab the leftovers#it is like annoying. like i understand not everybody grew up in poverty but the way ppl will act like its likee. insane#there was this one time where we were doing wants vs needs for 4th grade#and one kid was like a need is having your own room. and i was like <- shared a room with both of my siblings at the time Thats not true#and everybody in my class looked at me like i was crazy. like ok laura sorry your basement movie theater is bigger than my apt but we cant#all live like that. thats true btw there were these twins and they had a halloween sleepover party and they hsd to invite me bc class rule#and it was so like. there house was hugeeeee we didnt even go to their rooms bc 'they were messy'#but we just hjng out in the basement where there was legit a movie theater. and an entire seperate living room from their main living room#which we also werenr allowed to go in#genuinely think its bc they were forced to invite the poor kids Lmao. so we werent allowed to go to the main house#lest we get our poverty germs everywhere or steal something#but yeah it was awesome. but i also think that was one of my huge Oh life is unfair radicalization moments#but i mention likee. even lighthearted shit from my childhood. and ppl r like O_O THAT SOUNDS SO TRAUMATIC#and its like. the traumatizing part of poverty isnt like#being close witj my siblings and having done a lot of activities outside of like. going to disneyland#or getting a new toy every week. yk...im not saying poverty isnt traumatizing bc it is but its like#annoying that you mention anything abt it and evrrybody in a 50 mile radius is like POOR THANG!!! like. no i think its funny that we always#got rly shitty junker cars that my grandpa sold to my mom. i was joking sbt the fact that my moms never had a car eith functioning brakes#i wasnt like. asking for pity#but whatevrr
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caruliaa · 2 years
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btw being annoying abt this thing that happened almost a week ago at this point bc had no tumblr then but i remember at one point when we were with our cousins and kinda just chatting and hanging out nd stuff my sibling just like. was repeatedly like being mean and insulting me for the most minor things and like it was rude but didnt rly hurt that much it was j whatever yk but they kept doing this but i was mostly like whatever even though they were being pretty mean nd at some point they were like "go walk of a cliff" and i was jokingly like "ill tell mum you said that" and then they were like "well you can tell that to her but i can tell her things too yk" basically threatening to out me or like. tell our parents about me having online friends and shit which is a pretty fucked thing to say and like. a completely inordinate reaction to me making a joke but we were around other ppl nd my i wasnt out to one of the cousins so i cldnt be like "hey what the fuck is wrong with you for threatening to out me over a joke" so i was just like "you kept insulting me and our cousins thats rude!" and then they got so sulky and was like "oh im not allowed to insult people but people are allowed to insult me?" even though that like. i never said that ?? and none of us were insulting them ??? and when i was like "i never said that its wrong for people to insult you too" they started talking about how im allowed to be annoying though and thats not fair when they cant insult me or whatever. hi.
#LIKE WHATS WRONG WITH THEM. HI.#like i think literally being sad becuase 'i cant insult people :(((' is ubsurd. like hi hello.#AND LIKE I LITERALLY GET JOKING BANTER AND BEING JOKINGLY RUDE BUT THEY WERE LEGIT BEING SO RUDE.#but also the insulting wasnt even that big of a thing i j pointed tht out bc its the only thing i cld say in that situation#the big thing was fucking threating to out me like. hello ??? what the actual hell is wrong with you ??#like. idk if i got the tone across right in this post but like. they were fully serious when they said that and like. ik it seems vauge#but istg they were fully alluding to either outing me; telling my parents about my online friends; or telling them that i do not like them#(using semicolons as commas there)#which is like. what the fuck is wrong with your threatening to do any of them considering the consequences to me#in hindsight i think they thought i was being serious abt the telling our mum abt what they said thing but like.#even fucking then thats not an appropriate reaction to that?? like ??#like the thing is if i had told our mother that she would have just been like “thats wrong you shouldnt say that!” and then we wld move on#but like. hiii if u told our parents the shit ur alluding to there it cld put me back into one of the worst places iv been in in my life#and ruin so much fucking shit for me and destroy my mental welbeing and force me to go through a major traumatic even again basically#like thats what wld happen to me as a result of how out parents react to that . nd if i did what i joked abt ud j get scolded once. hi#also the thing is theyre also fucking queer so they should fucking know better than to jokingly threaten to out me. wtf.#also we were hanging out today nd they threatened to stab me jokingly and i joked about calling 911 about being threatened#nd it was literally nothing. even though tihs ended up being a whole fucking fisaco. okay . also i didnt even enjoy hanging out w them#i wanted to be alone. but they were just in my room so i played this very boring for me game w them w playing the first sec of a song#hi. the moral of the story is the post w quotes abt how sibling relationships survive sooo much going around its true but its a negative#why do i deal with this. like spending time w them is sometimes fun but it is nott worth this i think. hi whats wrong w them#<- will prob change my mind on tht later tht post j kinda annoys me. when did we go back to the blood family is the most powerful thing bs#flappy rambles#ask to tag
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snekdood · 3 months
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wish i didnt hafta cut off my conservative family members but they were all so abusive that I can hardly tolerate being around them
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gay-kurapika · 9 months
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This is uhhh definitely a may delete later type of thought in the tags
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nimomo-mo · 9 months
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Vent
#i had a mini argument fight thing with my friend#and i feel really bad about it#we talked about our childhoods and the child psychiatry journals#and i said that he had a way worse childhood than me and he refuted it saying we both had it bad but in different ways#and my dumb ass goes “at least i had love! your mom gave you money and left you alone and your dad was a severe alcoholic! you had an awful#childhood and mine doesnt compare“#and like. hes been in this horrible family situation and hes cut contact with his mom and siblings and hes severely mentally unwell#he has had exes cut his arm into pieces and hit him and degrade him and everything#he got groomed like i did and i was hit too by my ex but mine didnt actually try to kill me#his ex cut him down the highway lane#and like. yeah my childhood was horrible. yea i was viciously bullied and groomed and raped and assaulted and my parents didnt get it#but my family is normal and never had issues with any addiction and unlike him i never had to hide under the bed because my dad was drunk!!#he was forced to stay up and get wayyy too little sleep at like 8 years old because his mom wanted to have company so she didnt kill herself#i feel really bad for saying he didnt recieve love even if thats what ive heard because this isnt love!! but he loves his dad now#and his grandma took care of him when he was at the psych ward due to sui attempts etc#and im just. i hurt him really bad by just saying like 10 words and i feel so guilty#but he really had one of those childhoods that is so dark youre impressed they're even alive rn#sure i was raped bullied groomed and screamed at for not getting my studies straight#but i knew my family loved me no matter what! even if me and dad were at each others throats due to him not understanding mental illness#none of my family really gets it since most of them are older and thus have the stigma of it being something you dont talk about#but they loved me and i never felt really unsafe except for some times when my dad screamed in frustration but thats understandable!!#my friend had a mom that tried to kill herself every month and left him alone to go live and drink with an abusive man 6/7 days a week#and his dad was an extreme alcoholic that made the whole family afraid and my friend had secret spots to hide when angry drunk#he also got bullied!! and when he was a teen he drank and did drugs!! because his groomer exes and trauma lead to it!!#but all of this is not my place to say#i feel so bad#its not my place to tell him that his childhood was absolutely rancid. im not a professional and i cant say anything about it#im literally just talking out of uneducated opinions and i hurt him really bad by saying he didnt have love as a child#my experiences are so different that i cant compare it to mine in a way that makes me really understand#i feel so bad and guilty. and i apologized and bought him a pack of cigs as a sorry gift and talked about it but i cant change the past
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evilrry · 1 year
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i wish i could text my therapist bc sometimes shit happens and i like NEED to tell here bc its something we literally just talked abt in our session
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i-cant-sing · 4 months
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Salauddin screaming and THROWING UP because Princess reader won't stop picking up stray animals from outside and bringing them into her bedroom because "it's too hot for them outside ;( " "you said my room was the coolest soo..."
on the contrary, Salauddin himself is an animal lover. They're Allah's creations that cannot speak, that cannot ask for help, they're just vulnerable. He cares for his horses very greatly, no expenses are spared for the their stables, their caretakers and the best medicine from around the world. The pain of thirst, its one of the worst ways to dies, so Salauddin makes sure no one in his kingdom ever goes to sleep hungry or thirsty, humans or animals. He's had special water systems and pots designed practically everywhere in Egypt so birds and dogs and other animals get to drink their fill.
BUT as much as Salauddin cares for animals, he doesnt... exactly appreciate his palace turning into a zoo because of all the animals you keep bringing in. Its kinda his fault really. All Salauddin did was get a pretty white kitten that had blue eyes- it was so cute, so he gifted it to you. When you asked him why, he couldnt say that its because the cute kitten reminded him of you. So he said that it was too hot outside for small animals like Fatima (as you had named her) and he saw the realisation dawn in your eyes as you looked out at the pyramids, nodding your head along.
Salauddin sighed in irritation as he felt something furry rubbing against his legs. He looked down under his desk to see a black kitten with green eyes- Bilal. You took him in and said "but Salauddin! Fatima is all alone and she needs a playmate! Besides, Bilal is bullied by the street kids cause he's black and they think that he was a jinn!" You used such excuses to adopt 3 more cats (Mustafa, Haider, Zahra) and now you spend dressing them in cute hijabs- yes even the males.
He picked up the black cat and tickled his chin as he began making his way towards your- or what used to be your room. On his way, he passed by servants chasing after your chickens- Emir, Ahmed and Riyaan.
The doors opened as he entered, the room was in complete chaos. Feathers were falling down as birds flew around the room with the maids hot on their tails. Your cats were resting in one corner with your dogs- Shams and Talia standing guard over them. And you? You were in the center of all this chaos, sitting on the ground with a pet sheep- Mihirmah in your arms as you sheared it carefully. You had found her last night on your way home, not even bothering to ask if you could keep her along with your rest of the petting zoo.
Then again, why would his wife need to ask him? Whats his, is yours.
He walked over and sat down beside you and you finally looked up.
"I found Bilal." He stated, petting the kitten that nuzzled his face against him. You smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you! I was so busy with Mihirmah, I didnt realise he had left. I think he escaped when they took the chicks out for a walk."
He hummed before nodding his head at the sheep. "And how many that makes it now?"
"One." "Y/n." He deadpanned. "Well, one sheep. In total, 52 animals."
"Y/n." He looked at you in disbelief. "How- what- it was 45 last week." You looked at him sheepishly. "Well... its not my fault, really. You see- um, well you know how we thought Shams and Talia were just siblings? I think they were confused and um, Talia just gave birth to 6 pups." You avoided his eyes as he stared at you.
"Y/n-"
"I am not getting rid of them, Salauddin." You warned him, petting the sheep in your arms. "They need us to care for their babies! They're new parents!"
"Y/n-"
"Yes, Yusuf?" You used his name, batting your lashes at him. You know how to get to him.
Ya hayati. (My life)
He sighed, petting Bilal in his hands. "I'm going to put Bilal down for a nap."
"Yeah! Just put him with his siblings-" "No. I'm going to separate him and his brothers. They will not be giving babies to their sisters." Salauddin grumbled as you pouted and muttered about how cute new kittens are.
Maybe he can give you a litter of your own to keep you preoccupied. (Not because he likes you or anything- he just doesnt want you to fill his palace with more animals.)
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Despite what Salauddin says, he still remembers each name of all your pets. All of them. He also talks to the cats, especially to Bilal about how he needs to behave for him mama and protect her and stuff.
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wonderlandwalker · 6 months
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Shining Bright | James Potter x Reader
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Marauders Masterlist / Inbox
Summary: You and James reunite after the winter holiday, reminiscing old memories and stumbling into new ones. Except Sirius doesn't know you're dating yet, and James is not particularly good at hiding it anymore.
Content Warnings/Tags: Smut, fluff, angst kinda idk, Reader is Sirius' sister (how do I even tag that), 18+, hinting at abuse, simping, traumatizing bystanders, not proofread just go with it, no use of y/n, ignore any plotholes
Word Count: 4.0k
A/n: I listened to the hazbin hotel soundtrack on repeat while writing and I'm praying it doesn't show. This was gonna make this longer but then I got impatient so lemme know if you'd like more. Not kidding when I say it's not proofread this came straight out of my notes so sorry for any mistakes, will come back later to fix them xx
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The black family siblings were all as bright as the stars they were named after, James knew this for a fact. Sirius was the brightest star in the night sky, scorching others with his light in a way you couldn't look away from even if you wanted to. Regulus, not as blinding as his brother, but shining in his own right amongst those who took the effort to look for the constellation he carried with him. And you, you were a puzzle James couldn't yet solve, the light luring him in like that spark people spend their lives looking for, never sure if they'll ever get to hold it.
After Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor in his first year, your parents had been very strict about who you socialized with, not wanting any further damage to the oh so carefully crafted family image. Not that it mattered, you and Sirius found plenty of ways to talk, most people didnt care enough to snitch and the ones who did were familiar enough with what you both were capable of to watch their tongues. Sirius was more loud and proud in his defiance, living up to his namesake in the sky, but you were better at hiding it, playing into the part people expected. Yes, Sirius was a fallen star, and your parents had worried he’d drag you with him, but you only shined brighter in his absence, trying to make up for the light lost as if something wasnt permanently dimming it.
And that's exactly what he was worried about right now, because you were never really yourself after a holiday at the Black family manor, always a part of you left behind, a part dimmed. But James was your sun, always there shining bright enough to ignore anything else, because with his light you were never truly dulled. He had missed you, he had missed you so much, your relationship was fresh, but he had been head over heels from the first time you kissed. He had been replaying the memory in his head so often he could almost see it. 
You were slytherin’s head girl, just as he was gryfindoors head boy, and you had run into each other while doing rounds of the hallways. Typically this would be a job for the prefects, but for some reason the both of you had decided to take over their duties for the evening, you called it luck, James called it destiny.
It was simply banter while walking down the halls, and it was mostly at James’ expense, but he wouldn’t trade the moment for anything. He was loud with his body, moving his hands as he talked and sometimes kicking his feet ahead of him, but you were more quiet, more calculated. So James did what he always did, talk. “I had a dream once about a glass of strawberry lemonde except it was only as big as my pinky finger, and there was this duck who tried to keep stealing it from me.” You stop in your tracks as he finishes his rant, staring right at him. “Oh my god, I had the exact same dream.” “Really?” his eyes were wide as he saw your face change.
“Are you crazy, of course I didn’t.” You fell back into step and he hurriedly caught up with you again. “Well you never know, Sirius and I have the same dreams sometimes, I mean we’re basically brothers-”
“Does that make me basically your sister?” Your eyebrows were raised at him as you asked your question, and he had to do his best not to trip over his own feet as he answered.
“What, no!-” his face had turned bright red rather quickly, and you would probably never admit this to him, but you had found it quite endearing. “I don’t, I just don’t think of you as a sister, definitely not a sister.” Somehow you had turned him into a nervous wreck in under a minute, and you were quickly getting addicted to the effect you had on him, letting him tumble over his words further.
“Like, if I married you, Sirius would be my brother but you wouldnt be my sister, you know. Those two things don’t have to go togethe-” his thoughts slowly trailed off as he turned his head to look at you, a bright smile now evident on your face, and if this is how your face lit up, he’d gladly make a fool of himself for the rest of his life. “You’ve been thinking about marrying me?” Your head was turned up towards him, challenging him to continue his train of thought. He looked frantically around him as if searching for an answer, hiping the right thing to say would magically appear, but of course it didnt. “What, of course not, I don’t wanny marry you. Wait- no i mean, hypothetically I would but-” “You can relax James, I’m just messing with you” Your shoulders were slightly shaking, suppressing laughter he was desperate to hear. “Right” The tension seeped out of him right as he started laughing himself, and it was so infectious you couldnt help but join him in it.
The two of you fell into an effortless silence as you continued, and James was about to break it before you beat him to the punch. 
“You know, right now would be a great moment to kiss me” he was sure he would get whiplash from the way his head turned towards you. The look on your face didnt give anything away, and for a moment he had wondered if he had made it up. “If that's the sort of thing you’d want to do” you were looking down at your shoes now, roles reversed as you had become the nervous one, and for another moment he just stared at the blush creeping up on your face before he realised he should probably say something, anything. 
“Don’t you think this is wrong? '' Alright, maybe that wasnt the right something to say, but he genuinely pondered before you put his worries to rest. “dont you think that’s up to us to decide?” You were looking up to him now, eyes enchanting him with a single glance.
“If Sirius finds out-” “I won’t tell if you don’t”
“Well- “James, do you want to kiss me or not?” “Merlin, yes.” with that the last of James’ self control was lost, and he pushed you into the wall behind you as his lips found yours, dedicated to explore you for as long as youd let him. You melted into the kiss just as quickly, leaning your body into him as he pressed up against you. James was eager with everything he did, and this was no exception. His hands didnt know where to go, never staying still for long as they roamed your body, you couldve sworn they were little rays of sunshine, lighting you up everywhere he touched. Your own hands found their way to the nape of his neck, tugging at some hair, resulting in a small moan leaving him, and after the taste you were desperate for more. James found himself in a similar situation, completely forgetting his surroundings as his mouth made its way to your neck, trailing kisses down from by your ear to your pulse point until you were silently moaning his name, begging him not to stop, not that he’d ever dare to. 
He continued his assault on your neck, his hands trailing up higher and higher underneath your shirt, longing to feel more of you, you tugged at his hair again and led him back to your face, connecting your lips once more, this time more sloppy, your patience completely gone. 
James was ready to drop to his knees for you, and he would have if he didnt hear someone nearly shriek behind him. He turned around, coming face to face with a second year Hufflepuff who looked close to fainting, stuck in place at the corner she had just turned. 
“Shit” he mumbled as he leaped forward, not sure whether to comfort the girl or scold her for being out past curfew. As James looked back at you you were close to losing it, and he couldnt deny the humour of the situation himself. In the end the two of you walked the girl back to her common room, not too worried about the situation with how in shock she seemed to be.
So yes, winter break had left him simply wishing to be near you again, and now he was so close he could almost already feel you in his arms again. He had debated telling Sirius, it would be so much easier, since he had moved in with the Potters a while ago and James was struggling to keep his yearning for you to himself, he was sure his parents had figured it out already, but simply choose to let him deal with it on his own for now. Everytime you send Sirius an owl he wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him, hoping that information about you would fall out like loose change.But he knew Sirius couldn't know, he knew that. Everyone assumes it's James who can't keep a secret, always wearing his heart on his sleeve, but really that's only because he's never really had  a reason not to. Truly, it was Sirius who couldn't keep a thing to himself, once he knew, half of Hogwarts knew, he just couldn't stop himself from talking about the things that excited him, which was one of the qualities James so adored, but not one which would play in your favour at the moment. 
You were still living with your parents, still subject to their ways and while James had begged you to come live with him as well, you were hesitant. Hesitant to leave Regulus behind, hesitant to leave the life you had grown so accustomed to, even if it wasn't a good one. The both of you knew your parents would never approve, sure, James held the pureblood status, but it had lost its value the moment he harboured Sirius.
And so when the winter holiday came to an end and they once again reached Hogwarts, James was the embodiment of pure excitement. He was glad no one was questioning it, most likely brushing it off as joy at reuniting with his friends, which wasn't entirely untrue. 
For a little while he truly got lost in seeing everyone again, trading stories with Remus and Peter about what they had been up to, discussing pranks that needed to be set ij motion to make up for lost time, but when the start of term party took place and he walked down to the common room with the others he froze in his tracks, because there you were. For a split second he wondered if it had been a dream, he had been having them so often now, but Sirius rushed past him to envelop you in a hig so tight you spilled half of your drink over yourself, cursing at him in such a soft tone of endearment as you hugged him back.
"I've missed you, you know" Sirius was beaming at you, doing a quick double check of you, something James used to not think much about until je started doing it himself after he found the strange bruises none of you dared to speak of. 
"Yes Siri, I do know" you chuckled back at him, and in that moment all the worry disappeared.
"I've missed you too" 
The rest of the group caught up with the two of you, and it was Remus who first spoke
"It's good to see you back" he acknowledged with a small nod, not one for big gestures, but you had all learned it truly was the thought that counts.
"It's good to be back, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go change so there's no longer firewhiskey all over my shirt" You gave a pointed look at Sirius, but his antics were nothing new to you.
"Just use one of my sweaters so you don't have to go all the way back to the slytherin dorms, I have some extras upstairs" sirius nudged his head towards the stairs, you gave him a final hug as you moved to take him up on his offer.
As you walked by him James could smell the blend of vanilla and rosemary that was still there despite the liquor, it intoxicated him like a drug he was already hooked on, finally getting a fix of it after so long apart, and he had to remind himself not to grab you and kiss you right then and there. 
You disappeared from his sight as you went up to the dorms and it only took another second for James' brain to spring to action.
"I gotta go" 
"What, why? We just got here" he knew he would need a better excuse, but the fuses in his head weren't connecting.
" forgot my wand" is what splurged out
"Why would you need your wand we're-" thankfully it was Sirius's short attention span that came to the rescue, because the moment he saw Marlene he made a beeline to go see her. James wondered if he had it in him to explain his actions to Peter and Remus, but neither of them seemed to mind much, so he sprinted off to the stairs as well.
As soon as he got to his dorm, he reminded himself to knock, not wanting to startle you.
"Merlin Sirius, how am I meant to find anything in this mess?" James creaked the door open to see you rummaging through your brother's trunk, still looking for the sweater you had come up here to find.
"Why don't you just wear one of mine" even the idea of it already made James's head dizzy. Your head spun around as soon as you heard his voice, and for a moment the two of you simply stood there, looking at each other like a long lost treasure. But it didn't last long, because right after James crossed the room in record time, he took you in his arms, connecting his lips with yours as if you were his last source of oxygen. The kiss was heated and filled with lust from the both of you, and James could finally let himself go, finally let his thoughts out and make them reality once more.
That’s why he decided not to waste any more time as he gently nudged you towards his bed, making sure you wouldnt hit the headboard as the both of you laid down. He remembered the path he was trailing down your neck with his eyes closed, had remembered the way your breath hitched and your hips squirmed everytime he did so. All he had to do was follow the same signs and you were a mess underneath him in no time. His hands made their way up underneath your skirt, massaging the skin underneath his fingertips as he heard you moaning out his name, pleading for him to keep going, and he was more than happy to fullfill your request. He continued his way down until he came face to face with your whiskey stained shirt, not thinking twice before taking it off you, but from how you were quick to connect his lips with yours once more you didnt seem to mind. But James was a man on a mission, and it was not one he was willing to abandon. So he willed himself to ignore the whine that left you as he moved away from the kiss, knowing you’d forgive him for it soon enough.
He found his way to your chest and took in the sight for sore eyes you were to him, once again glowing underneath him. He was starting to suck bruises onto your skin, love marks he knew only he would see, and when he would next time he’d be just as eager to leave even more of them behind. Having you like this again, feeling the heat of your skin against him, your hands tugging at his curls as he could hear more and more moans slip out of you, it got him hard in his trousers simply thinking about all the things you’d let him do to you, all the things he’d do for you. He was rutting his hips into the mattress, desperate for the friction of it, his hands krept up further towards your cunt, inching further up until he could slide your underwear to the side and feel just how wet you were for him. His mouth was still busy on your chest as one of his fingers found its way inside of you, making you arch your back towards him. “Fuck darling, your pussy feels just as good as I remember” You wanted to reply to him, telling him how good he felt inside of you, his long hands reaching places you never could on your own, but your words failed you as just another moan left you, your exterior having crumbled down in a matter of minutes thanks to the one and only James Potter, but he seemed to know exactly what was going on.
“I know baby, I’ll take good care of you don’t worry”
He had never broken a promise before, and he wasn’t about to start now, he added a second finger, crooking them inside of you towards the one spot that would turn your vision white as if you were staring straight into the sun itself. If this had been any other moment you might have been embarrassed about how fast you were starting to reach your high, but James wasnt the only one who had been waiting for this, dreaming about seeing each other again, counting down the days. It took him only a little while longer, encouraged only further by your laboured breathing until he was sure he was about to reach his own climax simply from the sounds you were making underneath him as he coaxed you through it. But he didnt give you much time to recover, not letting you catch your breath as he went further down the bed until he could start kissing your thighs, giving in to the urge to bite some of the fat leading up to your cunt, it made you produce a small shriek, and it encouraged him even further.
So he wasted no more time, attaching his lips to your clit and lapping at it like a man starved, wanting to make you cum again, wondering how fast he could make you come undone again. His tongue hungrily took in all the juices from your previous orgasm and from the next one creeping closer and closer. His nose kept bumping against your clit as his mouth was now on your opening, not quite reaching the spots his finger could but oh so heavenly in a whole other way. He was dangerously close to his own high now, rather sure he’d reach it the moment you started spasming underneath him from the overstimulation. But he wasnt letting down just yet, doubling down on his efforts as he felt you grow restless, gracing his ears with whimpers and whispers reserved only for him. He could tell you were about to tip over the edge, knew you and your body well enough by now to see the signs before you even registered them yourself. “You can let go, I’ve got you” he accentuated his words with a soft squeeze to your inner thighs as he could feel you melt into him and took everything you would give him. 
“I’m pretty sure you just beat your record” you were breathless but you were already softly giggling as a wide smile broke on his face, proud of himself for his endeavors but furthemore proud of how he had been able to get you to let your walls down around him, how you had let him help you disassemble them brick by brick with each passing day. It was still early in the relationship, but James had never been so sure as to the fact that he loved you, because your presence made him shine even brighter than he already did, and he wasnt sure how much longer he could keep it contained. He moved back up the bed, caging you in with his arms as he leaned down to kiss you, no longer hurriedly or messy, but soft and delicate like the first rays of morning light.
Just as he did so however, someone came barelling in the room, and James cursed himself for not having locked it. 
“You better not be cutting one of my shirts into a tank-top again- holy fuck” Sirius very nearly landed face first into the hard wood flooring as he caught sight of the two of you before he he steadied himself on the dresser. The both of you shot up from your positions on the bed, and, ironically enough, approached him as one would a startled deer. “What in Merlin’s beard were you two just doing” He looked as if he was contemplating life itself, and you almost felt bad for him
“What, nothing, you’re drunk-” James tried to defend, but you were rather sure there was no way out of this one.
“I’m not drunk, I’m sober and that's the problem” He was flailing his hands around now, and it was hard to suppress the laugh bubbling its way up your throat. 
“Don’t laugh, this is not a situation to laugh at” he was trying to be stern, but it didnt quite suit him. 
“It’s alright Sirius, James and I have been seeing each other for a little while now” He was no longer shocked, no, his current expression better resembled being offended.
“And neither of you told me” he was nearly shouting now, but the party downstairs was loud enough that it didn’t really matter anyway.
“We haven’t told anyone, and youre not exactly the best at keeping secrets.”
“Excuse me, I’m great at keeping secrets, I never told you he’s had a crush on you since third year, but apparently I should have”
“Completely forgot I ever told you that” James’ shoulders had lost their tension as he stood next to you now, slowly reaching out for your hand.
“I will go now before either of you scar my eyes any further” Sirius said as he made his way back to the dorm door.
“Oi Moony, wait till you hear- fuck I can’t tell you” He had made a complete mood shift once more as he turned fuzzy, wanting to tell someone the news immediatly.
“It’s fine, Remus knows.” You tell him, interlacing your fingers with James’ in the meantime.
This time he looked betrayed again, halfway down the stairs already as you could hear him yelling. “You knew and didnt tell me?!” and it was faint, but you could make out Remus’ voice as well. “Of course I knew, I have eyes” The two of you looked at each other as he placed a simple kiss on top of your hair, a small gesture of affection that would become increasingly more common with time. He turned around briefly to grab something from his trunk  and before you could register it he had already asked, the shirt in his hand.
“Still gotta change your top, why don’t you take my jersey” It made your heart flutter as you slipped the item of clothing over your head and you went to follow Sirius downstairs, figuring this was as good a time as any to tell everyone.
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belovedmuichiro · 7 months
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I saw a post once that entertained the idea of Tsutako being in the background of Sanemi’s hometown in the anime, and it got me thinking about a sanegiyuu childhood meet cute.
- When Giyuu was 13, he took a trip with Tsutako to a neighboring city where her fiancé had come from
- Though Giyuu was a much friendlier person as a child, he was still quiet, reserved and nervous. As a result, being in a bigger city was overwhelming and he struggled to keep up with Tsutako as they walked
- Before they could reach her fiancé’s home, Giyuu was separated from her in a crowd
- Without any people skills to speak of or the confidence to ask for help, Giyuu let the crowd swallow him up until he found a small spot he could cower in
- He ended up hiding under the stairs of a shrine where nobody could see him. He cried so quietly, nobody could possibly hear him either, but a boy did miraculously find him
- The boy was strikingly beautiful with stark white hair and piercing eyes. His presence made Giyuu stop crying almost immediately, but only because he was mesmerized.
- When the boy spoke, he was blunt and sort of rude but Giyuu hung onto every word he said as if he was a kind spirit come to save him
- “You cry like my little siblings,” he observed. It was a simple, random sort of thing to say but it perplexed Giyuu so much that he didn’t cry any longer
- Giyuu learned that this particular shrine is where the boy would find one of his brothers hiding, so when he saw Giyuu curled up, he thought something might’ve happened to him
- Giyuu reluctantly explained he was separated from Tsutako while visiting. In truth, he wasn’t sure if he should trust a stranger but they were clearly of a similar age and that put him at ease compared to an adult
- The boy gave Giyuu a small canteen of water before they could continue because the crying had obviously overwhelmed him. He then asked for the fiancé’s name, which he scowled upon hearing, surprisingly knowing the person
- “Is that bad?” Giyuu nervously asked
- “He’s one of the sons of our landlord,” the boy explained, “He’s fine. His family’s a buncha dicks.”
- Profanities aside, Giyuu asked if he could lead him there, and the boy agreed
- “What did his family do?” Giyuu asked on the way
- “Their kid brother said some shit about my family bein’ too big and my brother got into a fight with him about it.”
- “How big is your family?”
- “Nine of us. I have six siblings.”
- Giyuu learned that his mother had just given birth, which prompted the rude comment from their landlord’s son. He also had a father who he didn’t want to talk about on account of him angering some violent people
- Though the boy didn’t seem terribly interested in prying into Giyuu’s life, he still asked, “What about you?”
- “I just have my sister. My parents died when I was young.”
- “Lucky you have a sister.”
- “Yes… I’m Giyuu, by the way.”
- For a moment, the boy looked hesitant to give anymore details about himself, but must’ve decided he doesn’t have much to lose.
- “Sanemi.”
- On the way to the landlord’s home, it began to rain so Sanemi pulled Giyuu aside near a food stall to wait it out.
- Giyuu, as luck would have it, did have a small amount of money on him and suggested they share a meal.
- Sanemi agreed, not letting on that he rarely has enough money to ever eat out. However, Giyuu became curious when Sanemi awkwardly held his food at his side and wouldn’t take a bite.
- He didnt want to admit it, but his plan was to pocket whatever Giyuu bought him to bring home to his family. He wasn’t going to tell Giyuu, but the boy’s earnest, honest face pulled it out of him
- In response, Giyuu bought him another and asked that he feed himself as well
- When Sanemi finally did eat, Giyuu smiled for the first time. It flustered Sanemi, who quickly learned he couldn’t handle a pretty face
- When the rain ended, people came flooding to the streets in overwhelming numbers that scared Giyuu again
- To reassure him, Sanemi grabbed his hand and returned his earlier smile, promising he’ll be okay as long as they stick together
- Giyuu took to Sanemi with awe. The crowd was still scary, but Giyuu grounded himself in the feeling of his companion’s hand and trusted his word.
- Eventually they did find themselves at the landlord’s house. Most of the family was out looking for Giyuu, but luckily Tsutako stayed and was there to greet him.
- This was also a relief to Sanemi, who wasn’t sure he would be able to resist driving his fist into the face of the boy who fought with Genya
- Sanemi intended to leave with no commotion, just an odd empty feeling at the notion of leaving his new acquaintance, but Giyuu stopped him
- “Thank you for helping me,” he said with much more confidence than the first time he spoke. “You’re very kind, Sanemi.”
- Sanemi, flustered, shrugged and promised it was no problem. “Couldn’t just leave ya there…”
- “Maybe we’ll see each other again.”
- When Giyuu said this, he held onto the hope that because Tsutako new husband had close ties to Sanemi’s, they would surely meet again one day
- It was hard to explain but Giyuu felt drawn to Sanemi, like he was a special person he was meant to meet
- Of course, he couldn’t predict the tragedy that would befall both of them
- Years later, long after Tsutako and the Shinazugawa family were murdered, Sanemi was welcomed into the Hashira and finally met Giyuu again
- Only this time, he was quiet and cold. He didn’t give any indication that he remembered Sanemi and didn’t have any of the kindness he was full of as a child. Sanemi decided that he must’ve turned into a conceited ass with no time for the little people, he probably didn’t even remember him.
- But it was impossible for Giyuu to forget who Sanemi was. Even under all the scars and curses, he was still the boy who saved him that day. But Giyuu knew they had fundamentally changed as people, and clearly Sanemi wanted nothing to do with him any longer
- Unfortunately for them, the draw remains there no matter how far apart they try to drift.
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