#my personal goal for this year is to gift myself more flowers ! Just need to buy a vase first and then I'm snatching these tulips hehe<3

[learnelle]

some 'energy givers' for the new year :

glasses of water, sunlight, nourishing food - remember that you're just a plant with more complicated feelings!

reading, music, creativity, writing and setting intentions - things that'll cure the feeling of 'being alive but not living'.

laughter with loved ones and cuddles with a pet - do I really need to explain this one more?

[livingfictional]

Hiii!!! I just read through some of your match up posts and thought it‘d be AWESOME to request one as well! for the fandom, I‘d love to request call of duty since I‘ve been OBSESSED with it for soo long and have played most games 🙌

Starting off with some basics about me, my name is ash, I am 20 years old and live in germany! my ancestry contains tons and tons of german and a bit of french (4% french). I speak english, german, french and am currently learning russian! (🇬🇧/🇺🇸🇩🇪🇫🇷🇷🇺)

I have short dirty blonde hair that goes up to my shoulders, I cut it short 2 years ago… it‘s wavy and aaaallmost curly but not quite (2C hair)! I have a rather pale and small frame, I weigh not much over 50kg and am 6 feet tall!! yes.. very tall haha

My personality type is INTJ and I‘m often described as funny, a bit mean and overall quiet. I‘m very sarcastic and I love teasing people. Sometimes I just completely zone out of conversations and talk about the opposite thing.. 😭

I LOVE and adore cats with all my heart, I love me a good cup of tea, hiking and of course.. my bed! I love having deep conversations with my close friends about just so many various topics, it‘s always fun! I love the winter because the cold helps me sleep easier and it‘s so much more comfortable than any other season. <- I also love comfy cottages.. specifically in snowy mountains lol… One of my big goals and likes in life is travelling the world! I‘d love to visit many countries and just.. well, explore!!

On the other hand, I do NOT like spiders or bugs of any kind.. I‘m sorry.. 😭😓 I really don‘t like the heat because I have low iron issues and I just get.. woozy. Being around new people is a DRAG and I always feel a bit.. awkward. I‘d like to add that I‘m autistic and have problems expressing what I want at times which is a struggle in restaurants so I usually just beg on my hands and knees (not literally) for my friends to order for me.

My love language is physical touch and gift giving! I love handing people little trinkets I found or bought for them. I‘m very very touchy and I just harass people with hugs (affectionately). I love me a good cuddle, who doesn‘t?

I *LOVE* receiving gifts back because it just makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside and it makes me very happy.. which is why i thoroughly enjoy the gifts given to me on my birthday.

I don‘t really know what else to say but I hope my short description of myself helps you find a match hahaha GOOD LUCK!! 🙌❤️

I match you up with... Gaz!

Man can and WILL order for you and speak up for you, if you feel uncomfortable. No need to even ask, just give him the look.

Based on what you've told me about yourself, I like to think you guys would be quite a good couple.

Hugs. All the time. Side hugs, from behind, around your waist, your shoulders, using you as a blanket. All. The. Time.

You two have a similar sense of humor, constantly teasing each other. Obviously, he will make sure you know it's all jokes.

Pretty boy is a great listener, learns your love languages early in the relationship.

Gaz makes sure that you feel loved and appreciated. He knows he can't be there with you all the time, but he will make up for it in other ways.

Ordering your favorite food for you, the random beautiful bouquet of flowers on your doorstep? Yup, also him.

[tomyo]

Harvest Moon: A New Beginning (its trans)

So I've finally hit a point where I feel like I can breathe again which means its time to get back into my backlog made majorly of Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons games. Admittedly the moment I get into the DS era and beyond, I get overwhelmed by all the mechanics but I spent....a dumb amount of money on these games and I have to push myself to try. Between Trio of Towns and A New Beginning, I chose ANB for two reasons; 1.It might be simpler to jump into 2.You can back door hack yourself into being gay....kinda.

You see the thing is you still can only date hetrosexually BUT you can just change your character to basically look completely like a girl. Trans rights??? Except you'll get misgendered all the time...unless this is a transmasc story instead for the fuckers like me that like to be he/him'd while in full femme mode. Either way, time to romance Yuri!

So admittedly this is a little bit mixed of a guide slash person road map, I am using a Fogu guide but that doesn't necessarily make it easy. So, I'm only on spring 14 but here's what to know thus far:

The game is as handholdy as ACNL/NH and will slowly dole out mechanics over thankfully in game days. Only worry about mechanics as they come.

You will spend per usual a good part of the start will be foraging. Sell the bugs but save flowers/herbs/mushrooms. You will need moon drops for the start of the town restoration. Also save Honey Bees for the second part of it too. Blue flowers are for Emma to befriend her. Hold onto all logs and stones for when Iroha comes.

Talk to all villagers to increase friendship, show them an animal as well but be careful of preferences. Most villager friendship is required to progress to more stores/upgrades.

When you unlock crops, only buy two things of grass. You are given all you need for most of your farm already. Plant and water the grass in the barn area so you'll have fodder in time for the free cow you get a few days later.

Work on shipping tons of potatoes in spring, this will be a headstart for Town Restoration #4 where you need to ship 30 of them.

Events Process: You arrive>>You unlock crops>>Neil arrives and gives you a cow>>Iroha arrives and gives you an Axe and Hammer>> Rebecca arrives and needs house help which unlocks blueprints>> Town Restoration #1>> Town Restoration #2>> Town Restoration #3 start>> Tailor Shop Blue print should unlock if you befriended Emma enough.

Yuri also seems extremely easy to woo honestly, her special like is one of the early recipes which is also important to eat regularly. In general I just love her and its a crime she can't be romanced same sexly but its okay because again, we are transing ourselves which she and Allen will help with. Wow! What a little gay gender affirming circle that is lmao.

The goal is to get Yuri in my town by early to mid fall, the biggest road block is during restoration 2 you need to ship 10 honey which will take 6 days to make so the more hives the better from the start. Clearing out the farm during summer is imperative. Hives are made out of small lumber and honey combs which is why collecting as much as possible is important (and collecting bees for them too!).

After Yuri is unlocked, the only goals are to raise a lot of sheep for wool. hatch 10 chicks, and get one yak when the chance is given. Side goals include birthing three Cows, sheep, and Alpaca during my second year. Most of Restoration 3 and beyond involves mining and wool so I expect to spend winter doing a lot of digging while also being aware that I'll probably not complete the storyline until at least late into year 2. There's more focus on festivals in the final two restorations as well as a lot of odd gems.

Post main plot is for clothing, house decoration, and child rearing. Emma, Neil, Olivia, Sanjay, and the travel location people are important towards gift exchanges. Outfits will just unlock as I go thanks to Yuri. I might also do a split save before marrying Yuri simply because Witch Princess is always kinda cool but is so late game that having to rebuild everything to marry her might honestly kill me.

It seems partially ridiculous to be so early in the game and to be writing so much already but its one of those series where you need a huge planning stage before you even start anything. To which I find fun the preplan. Admittedly also because the current game play is so repetitive; Watering and animal care in the morning, chasing after Emma for her daily gift, and then wrapping around foraging a couple of times before the night watering. It doesn't help either that there is no quality of life improvements as you go, apparently not even power berries this time.

The path to repairing a town is kind of a fun mechanic to be real; ACNH widely disappointed me for not really being the civilization maker it promised, Hometown story is interesting for a similar was in how it runs, Pioneers of Olive Town sometimes is the perfect amount of town rebuilder, and of course the ever popular stardew valley is great for slowly building up additions to an already pretty sound townspace, and I yearn for easier access to Animal Parade for how lovely the area is even if a bit of a travelling nightmare at points. I don't expect ANB to be revolutionary necessarily but I'm excited to GET to the point where I can suddenly dish out a bunch of town support. It's kind of cool how there's barely love interests as well because of it.

[theretirementstory]

Bonjour à tous, it’s 8c and cloudy but I am sure that we will have some sunshine today.

The concert last week was absolutely amazing, and I surprised myself at how much of this music I knew! I think we all hear excerpts of music, on the radio and television without knowing the name or where it’s taken from.

Had an appointment with the dietician and I was going to tell her to “sling her hook” if she was as rude as she had been last week. Well, I either got her sister or she had had her happy pills because she was very polite and even spoke in English at times, smiling as she did. I have an appointment for a months time, I chose a morning appointment (catch her at her best) and I will be weighed then.

I had a little look at the plants in the garden, lots of greenery appearing, even on the clematis which I thought had not taken well. I think I planted it in 2021, and I am hoping to have some flowers on it this year.

I seem to be forgetting a lot at the moment, probably due to the fact that I have so much buzzing around in my head. I almost forgot the appointment with the dentist….. it was to “try the new crown”, well it needs some adjusting so I am back again this coming week. He suggested a day and time, time coincided with my knitting group meeting so I said no can do! You should have seen the look on the dentist and nurse’s faces….. does no-one say “no” to a dentist? Am I supposed to have no life other than doctors and dentist appointments? Well, I may be an “étrangère” but I do have a busy social life here!

The second thing, that I had forgotten, should have had a mention last week. Drumroll please…… “The Paralegal” is no more and with effect from 30 January he is now “The Trainee Solicitor”, all those letters after his name LLB, LLM and now working towards his next goal, becoming a Solicitor.

“The Daddy” who has followed in my footsteps and gone into banking, received a gift from a very happy customer. Spending time, listening and dealing with peoples requests may seem a little frustrating at times, especially if you have other work which should be done, but it can also be just what that customer needs at that time and they may wish to reward the person, as was the case.

Now here is a note to myself: do not leave jobs to do in a rush the following morning! I had to get out of bed very early to catch up on jobs before the cleaner arrived. As a consequence I did too much and felt quite unwell. However, I did go out for my walk in the afternoon and that made me feel so much better. I actually sat outside for about 15 minutes and as the sun was very warm I tilted my face skyward for 10 minutes free vitamin D.

I had a telephone message from one of the new ladies to the knitting group, she wanted to know if I wanted to attend the course to be given by the firefighters on what to do in an emergency. I said yes, before realising that I may not understand fully all that is being said. However, on the intérnet I have found information (in French) about the course so I can study this before I go. Good heavens I am doing such a lot of homework on these subjects 😂.

On thé subject of the knitting group, there were photos in the paper of the AGM and although just half of me appears in one photo it means it is the third time I have been “in the paper”. I also was mentioned in the blurb as the “nouvelle intervenante”. I met the “old one” whilst out walking the other day and she congratulated me on taking on the roll.

I don’t buy a paper midweek so my walks often involve visiting the bar to catch up on news. Believe me, I know a lot of what is going on in this town, although I do sometimes miss out on things. Well I can’t be everywhere can I? I do have doctor and dentist appointments to deal with 😂😂.

Today, I have the video call with my friends in Bristol. It will be good to hear all of their news, however, I have just had a really long video call with my sister in the UK and that has blown todays schedule right out of the water.

I decided to look for a poem about winter sun and this appeared, not sure who the poet is but it seems to say exactly what I wanted to say. Here is the excerpt.

Winter’s Sun by Asmat Naushad

“There is something about the winter’s sun.

the florescence of the beaming rays

the calmness of the flowing sunshine:

convinces us about the warmth of the winter’s sun”

I am also planning a “little something” to take place (hopefully) week commencing 20 February, more on that next week.

See you next time. Bon dimanche!

[fionayiyang]

2024, Eternity and New Beginning

After months and years of painful healing, I am finally able to feel the soft springtime breezes brushing on my face again. Light, peace, and joy are finally resurfacing.

Standing underneath the hundreds-year-old blossoming sakura tree alone in centre Tokyo, I looked up at the delicate flowers against the street light from afar - the petals are turning from pink to transparent with stems outlined in silver.

In this very moment, I felt eternity.

"How could there be such beauty without God's creation?" I wonder. "Can human beings invent beauty at all?" I doubt it. I feel lucky by just experiencing true beauty and I think many artists are just trying to recreate it from experience. And yet this process of recreation itself holds power. The guilt of possessing such divine gift is so enormous that I feel compelled to share it. And by sharing it - I feel love.

For so long, I had gotten lost in the world of reasons, the toxic arguments, the fearful fights, and the meaningless right-and-wrongs. When I was trapped by running thoughts, it felt like being sucked into a black hole and nothing gets to escape. I wanted to shout, but I had no voice and no one could hear me, instead, I choked on my pains and fell into depression.

I believe there is a living hell - that's other people's opinions and other people's standards. When you try so hard to get your feelings across to the person you care about, and yet the only thing you get in response is seeing him distorting your words and intentions in real time - that is true frustration...

I majored in communications and yet never had I felt so helpless when you have words and feelings but the other person is talking yet actually shutting you off.

I understand his pains and his defense mechanism, and yet I have no keys as he guards himself from inside out and locked his heart by fear and tossed the key into the black hole.

Everyone's relationship has something to do with their childhood, and we spend the rest of our life repeating the early-on patterns that we were exposed to if we do not actively seek for improvement.

"Why spending the entire life living in the same patterns over and over again with predictable endings but just different people?" That I don't get... But, that is not my problem now.

To some, hell can be more familiar than heaven. And yet we cannot stay where we don't feel happy, valued, or appreciated.

Life is too short for hatred and let this be a reminder to myself that, this year, I will have to filter people out. I have my goals and dreams to achieve, and they are big ones. I need my friends and my allies to be rooting for me, just as the way I do for the people that I love. This is the year to give myself what I have always wanted but have given to others first.

Life is transient and yet beautiful. Use time wisely to love, to experience, to care, to laugh, to have fun, and to see all the miraculous views while allow yourself to be sad, to grieve, over the loss that will never come back. Yet that is OK, because in the end, everything will be gone but the happiness and kindness that we shared with others will be passed on.

Pains are inevitable, so choose wisely what type of pain that you are willing to suffer for in life.

Love never ends. Be brave.

Van Gogh x Klein

Love.

[survivingthedarkdays]

Welcome to an organized thought dump I suppose. ( be prepared, my mental health is shit and this is my only valid form of anonymous venting. )

🌼 Big big fears. After my ex I'm petrified of being put behind by a man again. Now after losing my apartment, I need to share a one bedroom with someone. I'm scared. I'm taking every precaution I can but I can say I'm scared it will end like last time. I need a safe space of my own. By 2024.

🍓money fears. Im genuinely broke. I'm going to have to work 2 jobs to afford anything. My goal is to get my animals vetted and save for a place far far away.

🌼my personal mental state, has been below par. It feels like I'm spiraling and can't get up. Especially my eating disorder. I've been eating under 300 kcals/ day , but a few cases of 1000 kcals unfortunately. I always make sure I've burned more calories than consuming though.

So far my daily routine has been , 1 half cup of plain oatmeal for breakfast , and then 1 half package of ramen for dinner. Then 2 hours minimum walking , 30 minutes of yoga and stretching, and an intense hiit workout ( that burns about 400 kcals ) {some days I repeat the workout to burn more}

I just feel disgusting. It's hard to explain. And ew I told someone about it. That's fucking gross. I wish I could fucking tell him everything. How bad I'm actually struggling. You see people always give a false sense of comfort - it's what we as humans feel is right. But when things get intense or I open up too much, people realize quickly I'm too much and leave.

🍓it all comes down to my self view. You see I can't quite put it into words, but I'll try . At 12 years old I was maybe 160 pounds. And felt awful. And it didn't go down until I was maybe 16 years old. I'll always see that girl when I look in the mirror. I will never see myself for what people claim they do themselves.

To me I am that gross child, who was left out of everything and would have done anything for one true friend. Deep down I'm still that child crying for somebody to notice everything going on.

Im the girl who never got asked on a date. Never been asked to a school dance. Never received a valentines gift. I don't even think I've been brought flowers before.

So when people tell me in so stunning, or smart, or whatever they seem to see- I just don't understand how. How can that be true if my whole life I've felt less than? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

[mimimelu]

Like hundreds of people after a heartbreaking relationship five years ago, I stopped looking for anything only God. I had dreams. The biggest dream was to see new places. I never knew what to do and where to start. I searched many places however, there was still some void. That's what I found wierd cause when I finally reached the new place I felt home. What was the reason?

Was it my experience travelling here or my independence. I never knew. However , when I did understand the answer was right in front of my eyes. I just couldn't recognize it.

When i came to Lonavala in July 2019. Who knew what God had kept waiting for me. I met this boy, a companion. We didnt connect immediately. He was a complete opposite from me without any ambition or goals in his life. However, still he knew how to enjoy life.

We started off differently but the heart always said more than that. Which spoke love. I always thank God for this gift cause he was special to me. Sometimes i wonder wouldn't those nights be lonely on the terrace under a starry sky if he werent there?

If he wouldn't be there wouldn't i learn how to better myself in many ways. We had many ups and downs With a big age gap.

However after five years when i did tell him everything. The second time in my life. He already found someone in his life and he never considered me or took me in that way. Cause he was immature kiddo to think a little broadly that if theres something more to friendship theres something more ti what we started as sister and brother however, weren't in reality at all. I couldn't lie to God, myself and him.

For me was his happiness and when you love a person you let them go and let them be happy set them free. Dont force them. No matter how much you hurt everyday year, week, day, hour, minute and second. Never ever. So more than being in the place called Darjeeling the love was for this man. I love his parents. the most simplest humble people with the little green house where it didn't matter of the shortcomings but just there was a roof over my head a bed to sleep in and the best food on my plate. I had to let go and walk away cause he needs to choose a better beautiful woman as his partner whom he will build a family with. no matter what the mockery and everything. I will always even though he rejected me and my heart is powder not even pieces second time. But still the smile will always be on my face no matter how much it hurts cause i love his freedom he will find a babe who will make him her baby cause we all know what it means. let him be happy avoid him for he may not know love when you like a flower you pluck it when you love it you water it everyday 5 years I've been watering now someone else will do that. I know lord i may and will not be pretty or good looking from the out but for you ill always be beautiful Jesus

I would like to say we ignore a lot of things, ignore the people who care and love us and also disagree to the real thing. However, if you do find that special moment go ahead and be with that person who has loved you and stood by you. Some gems and diamonds are rare. Cause you never know how long theyre there. Till we realise we lost the most important person in the world. Some may some may not. You may get hurt. Walk away when you see that they didnt get it or understood it. And let them be happy with their choice.

For me it will always be this boy. Thats why i rose in love with a Man from the Hills.

[opalescient]

haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)

so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨

note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!

daisuga

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T

Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.

i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift

also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring

i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets

you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G

“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”

Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.

“Not as far as I know, no.”

-

Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.

major, major fluff

the buildup!!!

god this made my yearning for love so much worse

the perfect stranger by downmoon | T

There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.

Scratch that. Start over.

There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.

so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart

shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺

these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry

asanoya

silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G

Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.

PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously

made me ascend into asanoya heaven

such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+

qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M

Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.

Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.

AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.

NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!

another super unique concept!!! (´∀｀=)

my god their chemistry is amazing

the writing made me feel things ngl

stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T

After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.

i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful

as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*

no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼

iwaoi

star-crossed by starlitcities | T

“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.

“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.

“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi

they’re LITERALLY STARS

beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺

please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed

conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E

Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.

Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

yes.

in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.

but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all

tsukkiyama

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

SO BEAUTIFUL

i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between

no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed

under the lilac tree by raewrites | G

there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.

gorgeous in its simplicity

softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki

not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping

kagehina

saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T

Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.

-

In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.

the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this

this made me ship kagehina so hard

fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!

kuroken

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T

soulmate

/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun

A person who was made from the same star as you.

-

// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.

ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.

no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise

written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec

knot in my heart by hearthope | T

There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.

Cute.

The— the cat. The cat is cute.

Just the cat.

-

Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.

okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.

anyway, back on the fluff train!

i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10

bokuaka

the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G

He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.

He will never remember. Not now, not ever.

What they were will now forever be forgotten.

-

"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."

YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!

i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please

i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.

no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time

rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E

In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.

this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul

gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.

bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭

in another life by littleluxray | T

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.

i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way

i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭

tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G

“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.

mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic

i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good

i may have squealed a little at the ending

kurotsukki

moonfall by batman | T

There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.

-

(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)

the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj

didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling

yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day

hidden gem by realmSpinner | E

Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.

That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.

this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so

top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up

the whole plot, man. perfection.

pings by barfs ☆☆ | T

[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.

[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.

[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.

[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.

god.

you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.

how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)

this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)

but also put you back together with the “sequel”

kyouhaba

close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T

It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.

cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~

no fr, take slow and burn very seriously

overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.

again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend

safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M

“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”

Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.

“You’re alive.”

Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.

“Yes I am.”

i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing

*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*

like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)

rare pairs

mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]

The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.

In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.

i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.

akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it

a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)

characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’

feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]

In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.

Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.

e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes

so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning

there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me

the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]

Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION

this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony

arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read

so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend

april to may by surveycorpsjean | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]

They're an odd family.

The four of them? Parents?

But still, they're a family.

So they'll support each other until the end.

aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺

so much fluff. i also love april and may

they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)

that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~

[liliecreates]

Update about my sp,and the context/story

Tbh.. Since today I feel that I don't wanna manifest a romantic relationship with him anymore. Not because I think that I can't do it(But not gonna lie yesterday I had a lot of doubts related to him),it's just that I realized that I want to get to know myself better,and I want to concentrate on other goals rather than a romantic relationship. And for now I prefer manifesting us being closer,being better friends to each other,having a friendship even better than before.

So the context about me and my sp:

He is my best friend for 6 years now. During the times of when we met,I really admired him,and I had a crush on him. But after a while,I saw him more as a friend,but I still had a soft spot for him,and he was someone very important in my life.

The thing that changed it all was last month,he was two weeks after his breakup,I unconsciously manifested him to want to take things "further" with me,so for like 2 weeks only we were romantically,and especially sexually closer together,but we were not officially dating.

I wanted him to be my bf,but I then put him on a pedestal and antagonized him at the same time,and let my anxiety,and negative thoughts get the best of me. I totally forgot that *I* was the creator of my reality,and that I was God. I had constant thoughts like "how can this guy likes ME??" "He will probably like another girl" "He doesn't really like me" "He won't date me"

And guess what? It manifested,not only bc of my insecurities we argued,but the next day he said that this "girl he had a crush on forever" gave him this flower decoration,plus he said that he was about to date her.

One ironic thing is that the flower thing she gave him?? I saw it on AliExpress before and I was like "oh I really need to buy it as a gift!!(for my mom...and HIM)

So this has really proven to me that what you dwell on definitely manifest. At first after learning that, I felt more sadness,anguish and anger. I stayed in a victim mentality,and kept thinking that I lost a friend,and that our relationship is worsening. And yes,If we ever saw each other in person,it was really awkward,and if we ever texted,he'd end the conversation earlier,he'd "Anyways have a good day! :)" me(he never did that,we just used to talk until the night)

So what about now? I haven't asked him abt the girl,but I think that they're dating. Tbh I don't really care anymore as I said earlier. I just want a better friendship with him for now. And yes for now things are getting better! ^^ Yesterday he contacted me first by replying to my story(he never did that!),and I did asked him if he wanted us to be best friends again. He said yes,and asked me if I was comfortable with it,bc of what we did together. I said that we could just forget it! So now slowly but surely we're becoming best friends again! 💕

[omniscientwreck]

Day 7: Bread & Soup // Creation

Here we are! Finally finished Day 7! I’ve never completed anything like this before so I hope you’ve enjoyed this journey with me! Thanks to the folks who organized @shadowgastweek and I’ve loved seeing everyone’s contributions. Here’s hoping this Thursday is a good one for our boys <3 

As always please let me know what you think, this is unedited so proceed with caution, and stay tuned for the college AU I’ve been working on. 

Day 7: Bread & Soup // Creation

Essek knows that, providing he says yes, the moment the Nein find out they are engaged all hell will break loose.

Essek knows that, providing Caleb says yes, the moment the Nein find out they are engaged all hell will break loose. He’s not a particularly conventional or traditional man and a few short years ago he would have never paid mind to the idea of getting married one day.

Things have changed, he’s changed quite significantly. Every day he spends with the copper haired wizard who calls him sweetheart and angel the more convinced he is that they should never be apart.

If simply having the Nein for friends had changed him, loving someone and being loved in return had made him a new person. The simplicity of having someone to come home to, someone to make noise in his previously empty tower. With the relinquishing of much of the privilege of the Thelyss name, they’d taken up residence in a less auspicious district of the firmaments, outside of the gated community in which he’d been raised.

It felt good to be closer to his friends, a few streets down from the Xorhaus, and it felt good to build a home with someone. Caleb hadn’t moved in immediately of course, it took a year or so before they progressed enough in their relationship to feel comfortable sharing a life. That doesn’t mean Caleb’s tastes hadn’t influenced Essek’s decisions, and when he moved in they continued adjusting and changing until they both felt they belonged there.

He asked Caleb to marry him on the anniversary of their first date. After defeating Lucien they’d gone back to Aeor and studied and after a while the tension built. There were small touches, lingering glances, at first Essek attributed this to how Caleb treated his other friends. But as time passed eventually they would reach for each other’s hands, if there was a breakthrough Caleb would press their foreheads together and hold his face and the closeness was intoxicating.

They would have discussions late into the night, discovering and learning. They told stories of their pasts and eventually Essek opened up to Caleb completely, there was not a secret of his the wizard hadn’t heard and Caleb returned the trust in kind.

They worked hard over months and when they were done and had a reason to part ways, Essek found he couldn’t. “I have something to ask of you, it is just a question and any response is acceptable of course. I do not want to pressure you.”

Caleb turned and leaned down, catching Essek’s eyes from the spot on the ground he’d been intently staring at, “Of course, you can ask any question of me.” He was clearly confused but trying to reassure Essek with a small smile.

“I have had, to be honest, a wonderful time studying with you here. Not just studying but talking, getting to know you. I have come to realize that I am quite fond of you Caleb Widogast.” Words tumbled out of his mouth and if he stopped the momentum at all he would lose steam and walk back his confession, “I was wondering whether, when we’re back in Roshona, or anywhere really it matters not to me, if I may buy you dinner. Or we could go do something else, take in some theatre, a concert. I care not what we do I simply wish to be there with you.”

He was out of breath and he knew the effort that had taken cause a deep flush on his cheeks. He searched Caleb’s face and his heart fluttered as his companion’s smile widened, “Yes,” His voice was tender as he closed the distance between them, “That would be much to my liking. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you too Essek and I’d like to see where this road may take us.”

“Well I suspect dinner will the the first place.” Caleb nodded and grabbed for Essek’s hand and they walked together to the Xhorhasian base to leave for home.

Their first date had been everything Essek expected and more, they went on more and more dates, spent time with each other studying, talking, enjoying music and art, and taking physical comfort in each other. It had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced. To miss someone when they were away, to feel like two people with one goal, one project, beginning to build something together that was intangible and entirely personal.

It wasn’t long after they’d begun cohabitating that Essek had though of marriage. It’s interesting how casual a thought it had become in the past few months. Considering Caleb might be his husband, to willingly join himself to another. To never be alone again.

The night he asks, Caleb has just come home from a trip to assist Yussa. They worked together on occasion and whenever Caleb went to his aid he was gone for an extended period. They’d been working on something to do with the folding halls and Caleb has begun telling him all about it. Whenever he tells Essek of these projects his face changes completely, there’s no hint of the sorrow that’s weighed him down for so long, he uses his hands to talk and his features are bright and animated.

He realizes a little too late that his mind has completely wandered off and Caleb is trying to get his attention back to him. “Schatz, what is that faraway look in your eyes? What are you dreaming of?”

Before even realizing the word he’s forming he’s already spoken, “You.”

Cheeks burning, he feels himself beginning to flail at the sweet look on his lover’s face, “Caleb I know we have talked about this before and I know the consensus wasn’t entirely clear but it’s been some time and I love you deeply. Everything we’ve been through together has strengthened us. You’ve made me a better man, taught me so much about life, we’ve conquered so many seemingly insurmountable tasks side by side and with the aid of our friends. We have walked through hell and back and I know that together we can do anything we set our minds to. I love you wholly and without hesitation and I would be honoured if you give to me the greatest happiness of becoming my husband.”

At that he pulls a ring he’s been saving from his wristpocket. It’s simple and silver, two bands side by side that cross over three times at the top of the ring, polished and clean. He holds it to Caleb who is beaming and holding out a simple golden band to Essek, it’s thin and polished with a flat top and a small red gem. “Mein Engel I could not possibly say yes fast enough, I have, I will admit, been waiting for the moment for quite some time. As usual you beat me to the punch.”

Hands trembling, Caleb allows Essek to slide the ring onto this hand and in turn does the same. Essek strokes Caleb’s face with the back of his hand and they embrace, hands entwining into each other’s hair, he holds Caleb as close as physics will allow but finds even that is not close enough. They stay like that for a long time before Caleb breaks the embrace, “We had better tell the Nein, Jester will throw a fit if she finds out we made her wait.”

“Tomorrow, tonight is for us and then tomorrow we can plan.”

They kiss again and the night is filled with sweet affirmations and poetic words.

--------

The Nein arrived a week before the date, promising to help with any preparations needed. Though Essek is no longer integral to the Den’s society, there are still certain expectations. They have ensured the correct people are invited without expanding the affair to be too overwhelming, Essek will have to endure his family but small inconveniences can be tolerated for a greater good.

His mother is, of course, scandalized but he pays it little mind. His brother is surprisingly ecstatic and takes a larger role in planning than Essek would have initially anticipated. He helps them find venues, flowers, caterers (though Jester, as a wedding gift, takes care of the cake and pastries). It’s strange to reconnect properly with his brother after so long apart, but it’s comforting that his attitude towards Essek hasn’t changed much. Growing up had done them both good.

They have asked Caduceus to perform their ceremony which he readily agreed to. They do away with anyone accompanying them to the alter, decide that they will walk out from opposing sides of the backyard layout they’ve planned, and join in the middle. As Caleb puts it, “This decision is mine and mine alone. I love my friends but it is important to me that I am not being given away and that I stand alone and commit myself to you.”

“Of course, I understand, anything you want my love.”

When Essek had explained the bread making ritual that is a part of most Xhorhasian weddings, Caleb had been more than accepting. “It’s customary for us to choose three people to make the bread, I have one person in mind that I would particularly appreciate being a part of that process. My brother has been an immense help to me and I know he particularly enjoys this tradition.”

Caleb nods, “Of course, of course. I think that I would like to ask Veth. She has been by my side for years and is my closest friend.”

Essek nods, he has an idea for the third person and judging by the look on Caleb’s face he has similar thoughts, “Jester?”

He laughs and nods, “Jester indeed.”

They ask their family and are met with whole hearted agreement. Technically the betrothed aren’t supposed to be there but Caleb wasn’t about to miss the chaos. Verin was guiding Veth and Jester through the kneading and they didn’t take long to begin discussing decorations. They decided on a pair of birds for the couple with a bird surrounding them for each of their friends and family, wheat for prosperity, braided strands of dough to represent the joining of lives, different varieties of flowers native to Xhorhas sculpted for long lives, good health, and strong commitment to another. Verin taught them the traditional songs as they worked and soon before long the three of them sang together, Jester inserting profanities whenever she forgot the words.

Seeing them work was complete chaos but soon the couple was shooed out as they got around to sculpting decorations, “Brother you know this must be a surprise. We have to stick to our roots just a little.”

“Yeah plus we need to gossip about you with Verin and learn all of your secrets Essek.” Jester drawls teasingly.

They leave and go about other preparations. Yasha and Beau are arranging flowers outdoors and for awhile they chat idly while following Yasha’s instincts. Beau and Caleb head inside to get some receptacles for the ever growing pile of stems and leaves accumulating on the table on which they worked. “Do you love him?”

Yasha stared intently from her position beside him at the table, having paused in her work. She’s never been talkative but he believes they understand each other, “Yes. I love him.”

“Good. I just wanted to see you say it for myself. The two of you remind me of something I once had. A beautiful moment in a very bleak past.I was lucky enough to find it a second time, and I pray that you never have to search for this again. I hope that your happiness transcends seasons and years and spreads farther than the horizon.”

She’s soft spoken, but he can tell she means it, “Thank you Yasha, I appreciate that very much.”

She smiles, and her eyes light up as her wife and his betrothed return. They talk and laugh through the day, finishing the decorations for the following day’s ceremony.

----

The day of, Essek can hardly contain himself. It’s unbearable that they have to go through the whole day before they can finally relax and just be married already. He’s had his own suit and robe custom made, Caleb hasn’t seen it yet and as he lays it out on the bed. Caleb is getting ready at the Xhorhaus which the Nein keep for emergencies such as this and is undoubtedly surrounded by the Nein fussing over him far more than he’d like. Their abode is quiet, Verin is getting ready in the guest room and is likely much less tense than Essek finds himself. He prepares in silence, going over his vows and wondering what Caleb will wear. He himself has a clean black suit, embroidered on the lapels in the same style as his preferred cloak. The cut is slim and it fits perfectly. The shirt is a deep plum and he has a silken black tie and pointed, shined black shoes. He wears the stole of his Den, his mother’s only request, and begins to properly prepare himself. He adorns his features in black and silver makeup, elongating the eye and adding a little drama. This ritual always calms Essek and today is no exception.

He’s taken his time getting ready and as he fastens his earrings in place, he’s alerted to a presence at his home. As he’s about to move to get the door, Verin calls out that he is taking care of it. Not long after, there’s a knock at his door, “Essek, it’s Veth. I know it’s getting close but may I speak with you?”

Veth. The one it’d been hardest to get to come around. Eventually she seemed to have let go but she still made Essek quite nervous. Far more so than even Beau, “Yes of course, come in.”

He turns to face her, she’s in a beautiful pink dress, makeup done and hair braided elaborately and adorned with flowers. “You look lovely, to what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

“You don’t have to be so formal with me. I just wanted to, I don’t know, speak with you briefly.” He gestures for her to sit in the twin chairs by the window, normally reserved for him and Caleb.

As they sit he folds his hands, trying to hide his fidgeting, “What is on your mind?”

“Well, I know this is a bit of a cliche, and the others have probably already talked with you but I feel I have to say it myself. It took me a long time to trust you, after what you did to my husband and then when we found out about the war crimes, I honestly wanted to be rid of you.

“I promise it gets better, just hear me out. I’ve been through a lot with Caleb. I’ve been by his side for some of his biggest moment and he’s been with me through some of the hardest times of my life. Our bond is forged by fire and nothing will break it. I care about him more than I can describe, he’s my boy and I am his protector.

“You have proven yourself to be worthy of him. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, I’ve heard his stories about you, about your life and what you are building together. I don’t know that I entirely understand, but you make him happy in a very profound way and that’s all I want. You two fucking nerds are clearly very much in love and anything that can make two people so happy must be good. It’s what we fought together for, so that these moments would continue, and for as long as you make Caleb happy I will be thankful for your presence in our lives.”

There’s a long pause as Essek collects his thoughts, “Veth Brenatto I thank you immensely. There is not much more I can say but please know that this is not something that comes easily or lightly to me. I am making a commitment and I keep my promises.”

“I know. But now you’re not only promising to him, you’re promising to me. You’d better make good on that promise or I swear I will make your life a living hell and you know I can.”

“Like I said, I never break my promises. I wouldn’t stand a chance against you.”

She laughs, “Oh no, you’re weaker than Fjord it would take me about a day.”

He smiles back at her, “People will be arriving soon, I’d prefer to continue alone if you don’t mind. Please, feel free to stay and wait if you’d like.” She nods and exits the room and he turns back to the mirror and makes a few final touches before heading down to nervously await Caleb.

-----

The ceremony begins, Caduceus stands at the head of the aisle, the Nein and their loved ones are seated, and music from the hired bards begins to soar over the yard. His mother is at the very back, she will be first to see him and likely first to leave as well.

He tries to stop thinking about her and keeps his eyes on the ground. They promised not to look until they were to begin walking and it was taking all his discipline to keep his eyes trained on the grass. It’s dark in Xhorhas but the flower fixtures and garlands are accentuated by globules of light, he’d allowed Jester to place them to create the best atmosphere. She took great care and her sensibilities had always been spot on.

The song changed and finally, Essek could look up. Just seeing Caleb he felt tears stinging at his eyes. Clean shaven, auburn hair braided back with carefully placed flowers accentuating his bright eyes, lit up with wonder and excitement. He’s wearing a traditional wizard’s robe, it looks like he went to the same tailor who did his own embroidery. The robe is a bright white and adorned with gold thread, intricate designs spiraling across the edges. It’s slightly parted in the front to reveal a well fitting black suit, deep red tie, and a flower with a small white ribbon tied to it fastened to his lapel. As they walked towards each other, joined hands, and stepped together to the altar, Essek couldn’t take his eyes away. Approaching Caduceus they dropped each other’s hands and stood on either side of the Firbolg as he touched their shoulders, initiating the ceremony, and began to speak.

“Hey everybody, we are here today to join these two wizards in marriage. Never in my life have I met two people more in need of love and more transformed by it. I don’t want to prolong this more than necessary, before me are two people who are so in love they’re letting us see it plainly on their faces and I think making them wait would be grossly unfair. So Caleb, your vows?”

Caleb unfolded a small piece of paper from a pocket, “I have a near perfect memory but, I want to get this right,” he mutters, he looks at Essek like he’s worried the bubble will burst at any moment and continues a little louder, “Essek Thelyss, you and I we have been through a great many things. We have stared armageddon in the face and we have walked out hand in hand. Through any trial, through any day good or bad, I know that if you stand at my side we can, together, face anything that comes our way. I look forward to the rest of this day and the rest of the days to come and I know there is no place I would rather be than at your side through battle, study, hell or high water. I love you, Essek Thelyss and I will never tire of telling you.”

All Essek can do is watch, he doesn’t fidget, he nearly forgets to breathe as Caleb’s words wash over him and he smiles. He hardly even cares how he looks to those in attendance, for once he can’t mitigate the lopsided grin that comes naturally to him and though he hasn’t cried in years he is having trouble holding tears in now.

As Caleb finishes and Caduceus gestures to him he begins to speak, “Caleb Widogast, this kind of thing does not come easy to me. I am not used to speaking directly and for a long time I couched my feelings in metaphor praying you would understand without my full commital to how I felt about you. Now I can plainly say that I love you, I have loved you for a long time. You have fundamentally changed me as a person, you’ve helped me understand a great many things and I am better now than I have ever been because of you. Through you I learned friendship, patience, happiness, and love. You and your friends well, I don’t know that I can explain the effect you’ve had on me but I am freer now than I have ever been. To you I promise my unending support, my aid in anything you should ask, a partner in your pursuits, and your life. Come what may, I will always love you.”

A few tears had escaped and Caleb’s eyes glistened back at him. They both looked to Caduceus who looked truly proud as he looked back and forth between them, he posed a few questions standard in both the empire and in the dynasty and at the end he declared, “This union is not the ending of two separate lives, but the joining and creation of one life shared by two. I know I speak for everyone when I say, finally, I pronounce you wed.”

A warm breeze blew through the yard, carrying the sweet scent of flowers and tousling Essek’s hair, and as Caduceus’ hands left their shoulders Essek wrapped his arms across Caleb’s shoulders as his husband pulled him in by the waist and their lips locked in a kiss. Jester broke the silence, cheering loudly as their friends and family joined in, the Nein far rowdier than the rest who clapped politely. They shakily added rings they’d picked out weeks ago, matching and complimentary to their previously decided on jewelry.

As they pulled back, Essek looked at Caleb who had tears running down his face and Essek swept them away as Caleb leaned up to kiss his forehead. Their family began to gather around and offer congratulations but Essek’s eyes couldn’t leave Calebs as the human cradled his face and whispered a simple, “I love you.” and Essek returned, having practiced the phrasing and pronunciation meticulously to get it right, “Ich liebe dich.” Caleb smiled and kissed him chastely again, before they opened up to their friends and began the nights’ festivities.

[gohyuck]

↠ lee jeno; assassin in the thirteen colonies, year 1776

the brotherhood: guide

pairing: assassin!lee jeno x reader; based on assassin’s creed

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive (explicit allusions to sex)

word count: 4.5k

warnings: minor characters die, kidnapping, descriptions of murder

"i would rather die on my feet than live on my knees.”

↳ personality: you don’t think it’s possible to meet a more honest person. you also don’t think it’s possible to meet a more gentle person. last of all, and perhaps the most critical characteristic he has, you don’t think it’s earthly possible to find anyone as damn impulsive as him. frankly - and you mull over this constantly - it’s easy to forget that jeno is a killer, perhaps because he is anything but cold-blooded.

he’s the most hot-blooded person you know. passion is the undercurrent for all of his actions - a passion, specifically, for humanity. all that jeno does is to preserve humanity - that of others’, that of himself. he is honest, he is kind, he is sturdy, he is stoic, he is courageous, and he leaves change in his wake, running into fires to salvage even ashes if he can. jeno thanks every deer he slays, paying them homage for their pelt, their bones, their meat. jeno, believing far more in his own ancestors than in religion, prays for the souls of every bastard Englishman he kills, for them to find their respective gods, to find their unholy souls, and make peace in the next world with what they were unable to do so in this one.

he’s hot-blooded about the pursuit of his mother’s killers, knowing only that they’re not part of the brotherhood of assassins, knowing only that they’re part of the other side. jeno, gentle and kind jeno who wraps his arms around your waist from behind when he returns from missions, who plucks you flowers from the field beside to your home because he thinks they look pretty behind your ears, grits his teeth and clenches his jaw whenever he speaks of avenging his mother. you’re not allowed to accompany him on missions, of course - he makes it abundantly clear that he cannot lose you - but when he comes home, white robes soaked in red and tomahawk - a gift from the Mohawk tribe settled near you - dripping blood all over your floors, you can’t help but wonder how hot-blooded jeno is when slitting bad men’s throats or impaling them on their own muskets.

outside of the four walls of your home, his passion for humanity manifests in murder, in relaying letters for the sons of liberty, in pouring tea into the boston harbor. jeno’s slowly becoming a symbol of resistance against the british, and while it isn’t his goal, you know leading the colonies to victory is written in the stars for him. it’s why you let him go every time, even when he comes back to you riddled with slashes, stabbed in the side or in the arm, grazed by bullets and covered in gunpowder burns. it’s why you stay with him through the long nights, wincing to yourself when he cries out at your attempts to keep him infection free. the colonists only want to be free, he tells you when you ask of him, of his passion. shouldn’t everyone be free? he lives up to his morals in all aspects as well, freeing captured members of Native American tribes as well as doing his best to speak out against the rampant slavery that occurs amongst the same people who believe in their own right to be free.

jeno is nothing if not fair.

inside of your home, he gives you a new meaning to hot-blooded. you can only describe it as being utterly and absolutely ravished - his arms caging you against the bed you share, tongue laving gently over the numerous bruises he’d harshly sucked into your skin moments prior. there’s no lack of stamina with jeno - even after the longest of missions he comes home, energized and shaking with adrenaline, waiting for you to allow him to take it out on you. his palms are rough, so very rough, but his fingers are nimble when he strips you bare of clothes, when he enters three into you to make sure you can take him. whether he’s feeling benevolent, or loving, or gentle, it does not matter - jeno always pounds you into the mattress until you only know his name, until it’s the only word that falls from your lips.

jeno loves humanity. it’s why he fights so hard for everyone’s freedom. jeno loves you. it’s why he’s always gentle with you in the aftermath of him, all loving kisses and breakfast in bed. when he’s with you, when he watches you go over the homestead’s books from the doorway of your study or allows you to sit in on his training, when he bathes with you in the nearby stream and teaches you how to skin a deer cleanly, when he asks you to read to him with his head in your lap as you stroke his hair, all is well. it’s a shame he isn’t with you often.

↳ origin: he’d been not but 8 when it had happened. his mother had never hid anything from him, instilling the belief that there is nothing greater, nor more sacred, than the truth. jeno knew from the moment he gained true cognizance that his father was not korean like his mother was - he was a british government official who’d happened to fall for his mother while landing near her village for work. she’d followed him to the young british colonies on the continent everyone was coming to know as ‘america’. 

she’d always believed that jeno’s father was a good man. jeno, armed with the innocence only children can have, believed the same. even after he abandoned them readily, leaving a 1 year old jeno and his mother to fend for themselves in the woods while going back to his own new home in boston, she relayed stories of his heroics to her son. even after it all, jeno held onto the belief that people are inherently good. 

it wasn’t until british soldiers burned down the settlement of the Mohawk tribe that had taken jeno and his mother, until jeno was dragged, kicking and screaming, away from his mother’s asphyxiated corpse, that he realized he’d been wrong, that his mother had been wrong. the redcoats were inherently terrible, tyrannical. jeno’s father, not only amongst them but in a position of power as well, was a bad, bad man. 

it wasn’t until he lost everything he had that he realized just how much he had to lose. 

it’s then that he decides that, someday, when he has power, he will do everything he can to fight for justice and for freedom. he does not want anymore little boys losing their mothers for no other reason than oppressors seeing them as unfit for life. the moment he turns 14 - a strapping young man, shoulders broad but heavy with the weight of the world - he leaves the rebuilt Mohawk settlement, being sent on his way by the tribe mother with only a name: achilles davenport, master assassin. it’s at davenport’s homestead that he learns the ways of the assassin brotherhood, the ways of the other side - known as templars. assassins fight for freedom. templars - many of them living as british officials and redcoats - fight for complete control. 

jeno never has to think about where he stands. 

↳ the starting line: jeno only meets you in his 20s, when you run away from your house in new york and make your way to the frontier to create yourself a home. you’re practically passing out while trying to chop wood while he’s heading back to the homestead with a clean kill for dinner. as you stand up to wipe the sweat off your brow with a grimy hand, you meet his eyes, dark and completely unreadable.

jeno is never seen unless he wants to be seen. you don’t know this yet, but someday you will. 

“do you need help?” he asks, already setting the dead deer down and sheathing his knife in the small scabbard at his hip. there’s a bow and a quiver full of arrows both slung over his shoulders, but as he nears you he pulls them off as well. you don’t say anything until he’s right in front of you, holding out his weapons for you to take. 

equal exchange: he trusts you to hold his things if you trust him with your axe.

you take them. 

“you’re peter, aren’t you? from the homestead? i’m (name).” you finally ask as you hand him your weapon. he raises an eyebrow before scoffing slightly, grabbing the axe’s handle easy as he does. 

“jeno is my given name, actually. peter is the name i use when i’m amongst the colonists.”

“and why is that?” you step back, just as he arcs the axe over his head. you watch, in awe, as he splits the tree trunk cleanly in half before pushing it off of the block you have it on with the side of the metal. he picks up another piece of wood from the pile you’d been going through before setting it down. 

“’peter’ sounds more natural here than jeno, don’t you think? wouldn’t want to call attention to myself.” he has an air of finality as he speaks this time, and you decide not to prod him. instead, you sit back, hands gripping onto his bow and arrows as you watch him break pieces of wood with ease under the evening sun. you can’t help but notice the way his shirt clings to his muscles as his sweat slowly seeps through the thin material, outlining the ridges of his abs and the bulges of his biceps. 

it’s the first time you see jeno, but it isn’t anywhere near the last. 

you become close friends over the next few years, with jeno eventually allowing you to be privy to his life as an assassin when you find him, bleeding from a gash in his arm in your living room one night, after returning from dinner with a friend’s. you demand to know what he’s doing - why he’s in a blue and white robe, why he has a tomahawk strapped to his chest and a rope dart in his hands - and why he’s so badly hurt, and he finds that he can’t keep you in the dark anymore, not when you care so deeply for him and when he cares even more deeply for you. 

it’s as you straddle him, eyes focused and teeth sinking into your bottom lip while you clean his wound, that jeno realizes that he’s finally gained something - someone - personal to fight for. you can’t ignore the way his soft gaze is fixed on your face, or how his large hands rest gently against your waist. once you’re done dressing his arm, you look down at him and slowly, very slowly, lower your lips to meet his. 

it’s unspoken, but he’s yours and you’re his from then on. 

↳ i would rather die on my feet...: it’s been years since you’ve been together, but the majority of jeno’s things are still at davenport’s homestead even as he sleeps in the bed in your house at night. you do not mind this - he keeps you separate from where he plans most of his missions for a reason. 

he wants to be able to come home to you, to press soft kisses your forehead and feel you bury you face in his chest as you breathe him in. jeno does work for the good of all humanity, but sometimes he feels as if he would give everything up just to have a quiet life with you. these emotions are strongest in the passing scenes of his life that are difficult for him to dwell on due to a lack of time: times when your bare body is asleep and curled into the side of his own naked form, times when you drag him out to dance in fields and laugh with him as he cooks for you. he knows you hurt when he’s gone, because he hurts when he’s gone too. jeno is thoroughly convinced that he only needs your smile to stay alive. 

with a love like yours, it’s inevitable that sometime tries to tear it apart at the seams. 

it happens when he’s out on a mission: paul revere needs aid - and a horseman - in delivering news to the people. your knowledge of the intricacies or whatever jeno is embarking on tonight is sparse, as always, and you let him leave after he spends a night mumbling promises into your skin that say that he’ll come back home to you, as always. it’s always jeno who goes out, who risks his life for the collective. it’s always jeno who’s in danger.

it’s why, when you hear your front door pull open while you’re in the kitchen, you rush out excitedly, not thinking it could be anyone but the love of your life. it’s why, in your shock at seeing 4 men with glittering ruby red rings centered with silver crosses - the telltale mark of the templar - you’re rendered unable to move. it’s why they’re able to subdue you - you, a scrappy runaway who can at the very least wield a simple blade - without much effort, succeeding in forcefully covering your head with a bag and dragging you, kicking and screaming, into what you realize is a portable jail once you come to your senses. you’re stuck into what’s essentially a glorified cage on top of what you think is a wagon, and as you feel the men’s sneers on you and hear their jeering laughs, you can’t help but think of one thing.

may God turn a blind eye when jeno finds those responsible for this.

when you reach what’s evidently your destination, you’re pulled roughly from your imprisonment, snagging the cage while almost blindly tripping and falling to the ground. you regain your footing just in time although a part of your dress has ripped, but that doesn’t stop whoever is behind you to continue shoving you forward with abandon. you try to take note of what you can - running your hands over the side of what must be a building when they shove you into it to see what it’s made out of, trying to get a sense of the smell in the air. you’ve never been helpless - you know how to hunt, how to fight, how to care for yourself and protect yourself - so you almost immediately set about taking stock of important information that can be gleaned by your remaining senses. you eventually stop walking, only hearing the distinct clink of a key and a door being unlocked before you’re shoved unceremoniously onto a smooth, rocky floor. they lock the door again immediately, and as their footsteps recede you realize that you’re stuck tied up and blindfolded, no explanation afforded to you. you can only assume that they want jeno, although you have a feeling they don’t know what they will get in return. 

all you can do is wait. 

↳ ...than live on my knees.: jeno knows that something is wrong before he even crosses the threshold of the front door. 

he’d stopped by the homestead first to update achilles on the state of the brewing trouble - redcoats had come by sea, forcing jeno to cart revere all over the colonies to let people know of this. jeno knows there’s still much to be done - not even battles have truly been won yet, let alone the war. still, even though he can’t afford to rest, he finds himself craving time with you. leaving you is gut-wrenching, but coming back is the easiest thing in the world. 

so once he’s done briefing achilles, he goes straight home. jeno hasn’t shed his robes yet, hasn’t cleaned his weapons. he isn’t easily exhausted, but his feet ache almost as much as his heart does, and all he wants is to lie down with you, pull you to his chest, and talk about the stars or about your interactions with people down at the pub you help out at or about the family of raccoons you’d seen while taking a stroll. being with you is like a dream he doesn’t enjoy being taken out of.

he’s jarred awake when he sees that your front door is very, very slightly ajar. jeno’s mind goes into overdrive immediately, but he steels his nerves as he takes stock of everything around him: aside from the door being open, the grass is kicked up from the bottom of your porch to what look like wheel indents in the dirt. there’d been a struggle. he gingerly approaches your door and, upon pushing it open, breath hitched, he sees a chair overturned. there’s a basket of vegetables upended on the floor, and in his mind’s eye jeno can see you, small grin on your face, walking out of the kitchen mid-dinner preparation to give him a proper welcome home. 

for a moment, he thinks the rage consuming him might kill him - that it might stop his heart and shut him down completely. the fear that overrides him brings his breathing back, though it’s fast and choppy and impossible to follow. 

he has to find you. it’s his fault - his existence, his connection to you - that your arms aren’t around his waist right now, that he isn’t pressing kisses along your hairline at this exact moment. he has to find you, and he has to make this right. 

jeno doesn’t bother cleaning his weapons before he walks right back outside, eyes glinting in smothered anger. his hands are fists, blunt nails digging into his skin and drawing forth blood. the stinging in his palms doesn’t affect him - his mind is on one track, and one track only. he doesn’t bother cleaning his weapons, knowing full well that he’ll be putting them to use again soon. 

it takes him no time at all to track down where you are - there only one wagon wheel manufacturer in boston, and he’s well-aware of how their wheels look. he’s sure - entirely sure - that you’ve been taken by templars; jeno has no reason to believe otherwise. he can’t stand the fact that they’ve managed to hit him where it hurts most.

he can only take comfort in the fact that they have no idea what they’re up against.

by luck alone, it’s a new moon when he gets to you a day later, and jeno finds it even easier than usual to camouflage himself amongst the trees outside the redcoat fort he’s staking out. he’s already taken note of the wagon and cage that are on his right, his eyes having honed in on the piece of cloth stuck - he recognizes it from one of your dresses - to the cage’s hinge. there are numerous redcoats on watch, but jeno, his mind sharply focused on one thing and one thing only, finds clarity in his decision-making tonight.

he trails the perimeter, hidden amongst trees, until he finds a guard that’s about his stature. it takes little effort at all to pull the redcoat into bushes with a hand on his mouth, and it takes even less work than that for jeno to jab his hidden blade into the other man’s throat from behind, leaving him to asphyxiate on his own gurgling blood. jeno lets him die, not bothering to pray for his victim for the first time ever. instead, he’s as cold as steel as he strips the newly dead man, changing into the red uniform without remorse while amongst the bushes. he stashes his own robe and hides his weapons before he emerges, a man on a mission.

it’s easy to hide his face tonight, especially as he pulls his hat down low. the shadow engulfs his face, and when he returns to the dead man’s post, the other, tired redcoat beside him doesn’t even blink. jeno tamps down on the urge to kill him, too - part of him wants to leave no survivors, not when he doesn’t know if you’re safe or not. 

if he raises an alarm before he finds you, though, he risks you getting hurt if you already aren’t. this is the only thing that has him tipping his hat down kindly at the other man before leaving his post, murmuring something quietly about a bathroom. the soldier is too tired to register the fact that jeno’s voice isn’t one he’s used to. 

it takes him no time at all to get to what he presumes to be the makeshift prison - a small shed-like building made of wood and reinforced with brick. nobody bats an eyelid at his red-clad form, nobody makes to look at his face or question him. his tomahawk is uncomfortable against his skin, but he doesn’t care that it has to be underneath his uniform for once. 

breaking the lock on the prison is easy after he smothers the guard on duty from behind. he snaps the man’s neck, just in case - the ripping noise from within the dead man’s body doesn’t bother jeno nearly as much as it should. it takes everything in him not to pull the door off its hinges in his haste to see if you’re inside, and he finds luck on his side when he hurries in to find you standing, propping yourself up against the single set of metal bars within the shed. you’re blindfolded and your hands are bound, and his eyes are quick to find the exposed patch of skin in your side from where your dress had snagged, but you’re alive. you’re very much alive. 

“(name),” jeno breathes out, and you visibly perk up. 

“jeno?” your voice is hoarse, a little raspy, and he realizes with a pang that you haven’t spoken in hours. it’s likely you haven’t had water as well. 

“i’m here, my heart,” he responds, rushing over to you to reaching his fingers between the bars and run a hand over your hair. “step back for me, love.” 

you can tell how panicked he must be from the way terms are endearment are slipping off his tongue with ease. jeno is a quiet lover, a sturdy one. you know that you have his entire heart, and you know that you always will. he proves this with his actions often, but he’s far less inclined to do so with his words. he’s worried, and you want to soothe him however you can.

you step back. 

the sound of the lock breaking is high-pitched and scraping, and before you can react you’re being pulled forward into a chest you know better than you know your own features. jeno’s arms wrap around you, and one of his hands busies itself in untying your hands while the other easily pulls the blindfold off of your eyes. his tomahawk is by the door, right beside a smashed lock. 

“are you okay? do you ache? did they do anyth-”

“we need to get out of here,” you cut him off, looking your love directly in the eye. “immediately. they wanted to lure you here, and you mustn’t let them get what they want.”

it’s not fifteen seconds after jeno drags the two of you into the woods, forcing you to climb up a tree before following you up into it, that you both watch, hidden amongst the leaves and the stars, as tens of panicked redcoats rush into the place they’d had you held. you’re close enough to hear the fear in their voices when they discover their deceased brethren at the door, and you’re close enough to hear their shouts of anger when they discover that you’re gone. they double their patrol, keeping a hawk eye on the woods around them.

it’s hours before you and jeno are able to leave, shrouded in the darkest part of the night. it’s a day before you’re back home, resting your raw wrists in a bowl of cold water while jeno cleans his weapons for good. it’s weeks before you tell him exactly what you’d seen, what you’d heard the night you were taken.

it’s months before jeno can even try to forgive himself. for what, he’s unsure.

↳ in due time: “this isn’t a good idea.” jeno mutters, and you lift your gaze from your book to look over at him. he’s been lying flat on his back on his side of the bed while staring directly at the ceiling for the past few hours while you’ve been reading on your side. 

“what’s not a good idea?” you ask, not too worried about his response. jeno gets into moods often, and typically you can pull him out of them just by talking. it isn’t easy getting him to talk, especially not considering his line of work, but he’s never had trouble opening up to you. 

“us.”

the book slips from your hands, falling onto your chest, and he finally looks over at you. his face would be unreadable if the sorrow in his eyes wasn’t so obvious. 

“now what the hell makes you say that?” your words are incredulous, your tone more hurt than scathing. jeno loves you, this you’re sure of - so what is he talking about?

“being with me hurt you,” he sighs, pulling himself into a sitting position. “and it - i thought i was going to kill everything in my path. kill everyone. for a moment i thought i was going to kill myself, i- i-... fuck.” jeno drops his head into his hands, and you find yourself staring at his back.

for a moment, neither of you speak. neither of you move. 

you reach a tentative hand out, laying it square on his back.

“being with you is why i live.” you whisper, and you feel jeno’s back shudder underneath your fingertips. “jeno, when you met me, i was running from a life of-of pain, a life where i was unwanted. you were the first person to ever make me feel loved. you still are. i did not get hurt because of you - i got hurt because there are awful people, who want awful things, and you’re single-handedly standing in the way of them ruining the world with their greed and hatred. this is not a bad idea. this is the best idea either of us have ever had.” as you speak, you shift closer and closer to him.

“you don’t- you’re okay?” jeno turns his head to face you, and you can’t help but nod instinctively. you aren’t lying. you lean in, pressing a gentle kiss against the top of his spine.

“of course,” you murmur into his skin, moving so you’re situated directly behind him. you wrap your arms around his torso from the back and rest your chin on top of his shoulder. he slowly relaxes under your touch, leaning back against you, and you let him soften before you continue speaking. 

“i’m always okay with you.”

[keruchan]

(Slight Angst Ahead) Haikyuu x Reader

NOTE: This story will be focusing more on Kuroo & Bokuto so Kenma won't be mentioned here ><

Y/N was someone with a lot of inner demons. Their past was traumatic - growing up alone after their parents had passed on after an accident at the tender age of 7, even their relatives were not sympathetic. These people tried to make gain power over Y/N and controlled whatever they did. Eventually, Y/N became frustrated and started to harden their heart, refusing to trust any others who entered their lives. That was till they met the two who changed her life for the better in high school. Bokuto Koutarou and Kuroo Tetsurou. The two of them were polar opposites - one who was always happy-go-lucky and cheerful, though sometimes (emo) when things don't go his way, the other who was witty and enjoyed teasing others. They taught Y/N to become stronger, to accept their past and move forward. Y/N too, started to become more happy and hopeful for the future.

For Y/N these two were a special existence. People they hoped who would stay in their lives forever. Falling in love with one of them was something that came naturally especially if you were with them more often. Kuroo was a person Y/N couldn't help but adore, one who worked relentlessly for his goals of winning nationals, how he was loyal to his friends and teammates. Even his teasing and comments were amusing to Y/N. The pair started to go out in their third year of high school, after Kuroo became captain of the Nekoma Volleyball Team.

However, life wasn't a bed of roses - Kuroo gave Y/N whatever support they needed to feel secure in their relationship. But Y/N wasn't used to being affectionate, and despite being lovers they never did what lovers do like holding hands or being alone with each other - in fact Bokuto was always with them! Kuroo was patient but even he had a breaking point. Why would someone who he was going out with never return any form of affection? He understood though, that Y/N just wasn't used to it. So he never pushed them and never asked for more, but deep down he was starting to feel insecure about whether he was good enough for them.

Days turned into months, it was April and Y/N's birthday was coming up. Kuroo knew how much she liked nature so he wanted to prepare a preserved flower (something like the image below - the resin flower from Vampire Knight).

He knew he couldn't do it alone, so he sought the help of a few classmates who were more experienced with making such creations. Even when Y/N asked how he was doing, Kuroo just replied that he was busy. Bokuto too, was kept in the dark. Apart from volleyball, Kuroo was spending more time with his classmates in order to prepare the perfect present for Y/N.

One day when Y/N walked past Kuroo's classroom, they noticed how he had been smiling brightly and laughing with them. "Did he ever laugh like that while he was with me...? I don't think I've seen him smile in a very long time..." Y/N shook such thoughts away. But the more they looked at Kuroo with others, the more convinced they became that Kuroo hadn't been happy with them.

"I must be the problem..."

"If Kuroo was not with me... he wouldn't be so burdened."

"I... don't deserve him"

These thoughts occupied Y/N's mind and they felt the only way to make up to Kuroo was to end their relationship.

Soon came the day Y/N dreaded. Their birthday, because that was the day they were going break up with Kuroo. The day felt terribly long, Y/N couldn't focus in class. All their thoughts were about how to talk to Kuroo, it's become awkward since they haven't spoken in a while.

After school, Kuroo swung by Y/N's classroom

"Hey babe! Shall we head home?"

Y/N nodded in slow motion. Kuroo looked at them worriedly, but decided not to ask until they were ready to share.

Their walk home was silent, no one had said a word. Once home, Y/N spoke up "Tetsu...I have to talk to you about something."

Kuroo picked up the hesitation in their tone. Whatever was going to be said was serious. He knew. And he had a bad feeling about it. The preserved flower he had hiding in his uniform's pocket started to feel heavy.

Y/N led Kuroo to their sofa and sat down, gesturing for him to do so. After Kuroo sat down, Y/N opened their mouth and started speaking

"We've been dating for a while haven't we"

Kuroo was stunned, this was the first Y/N had spoke about their relationship. He nodded.

"The thing is...I realized how much I've affected you." Y/N's eyes were starting to tear up

Kuroo stayed silent, how he wanted to stand up and wipe their tears away. But he knew, that he should let Y/N continue what they wanted to say.

"I...never gave you anything as your lover. Nor did I give you any form of security. In fact you were the one who gave me everything. And I... never reciprocated."

"No, please don't say that. I understand and I can wait." Kuroo stood up and grabbed a tissue before handing it to Y/N who wiped their tears. He wanted to keep a healthy distance so they would still feel comfortable.

"...I saw how happy you were with others. I haven't seen you smile in the time we've dated and I...just feel horrible. I don't deserve you and I know you deserve better. So... I think it's best for us to break up."

"I...no..." Kuroo was stunned. He didn't know how to respond.

"...Are you really breaking up with me?"

"For now... I... want to take some time to work on myself. Let me have the time to fully accept my past, my current self and my future. Till the day I can be confident that I can love you the way you loved me because that is just what you should have. "

This was the first Kuroo heard of Y/N's conviction. The first he had seen them being more positive without anyone's encouragement. While it hurt him, he understood what Y/N wanted.

".......I..... get it. Know that I'll wait for you."

"You know it's cool with me if you find someone else right?" Y/N chuckled. Their smile made Kuroo convinced that he made the right decision, to let Y/N go.

"Cheh, are my feelings for you that unmemorable?" He teased back to which Y/N shook their head vehemently. "But wait, I still have something to give you." Kuroo took out the flower from his pocket.

"Happy birthday Y/N. I hope you like this gift."

"Thank you Tetsu...Thank you so much." Y/N accepted the gift graciously.

"Hey Hey Hey! WHAT DID I MISSS?" An energetic voice echoed

Both Kuroo and Y/N jumped back in shock. "Bo... where did you come from?" Kuroo turned to his best friend

"Hello, the door was open you know." Bokuto pointed to the ajar door and shook his head in disbelief "This is why I cannot leave the two of you alone... Tsk tsk" (Imagine Bokuto reacting like Edgeworth pfft-)

Bokuto launched himself towards Y/N and Kuroo "Happy birthday boo!"

Y/N laughed, and so did Kuroo. "Thank you Kou!"

If you've made it till here, thanks so much! I hope you enjoyed my first story, keep reading if you're keen to know what happens <3

-Keru

Ending 1: The One

Time really does heal all wounds. Y/N had blossomed into a person no longer held back by their past. While Kuroo and them never got back together, Kuroo had found his soulmate. A beautiful woman named Alisa. She was always cheerful and supportive, someone who shone so brightly no matter what she did. A bundle of joy for everyone who knows her. Y/N was happy to see Kuroo with a grin on his face everytime the two were together.

Kuroo had found his happiness with Alisa. And so had Y/N.

With Bokuto, Y/N could wear their heart on their sleeve. He was always there to listen and support Y/N. More importantly, he taught Y/N how to love others unconditionally.

Ending 2: Forever and Always

After Y/N and Kuroo graduated from Nekoma, both of them headed to different universities. But they would still talk to each other frequently through FaceTime and met up at their favorite cafe to catch up. Bokuto had been busy with his career as a MSBY player, but he still stopped by whenever he could.

--Y/N and Kuroo met up at the entrance of the cafe--

"You look good." Kuroo smiled.

"Why thank you, you look good too. Is that the tie I got you last Christmas?"

"What can I say? It was a gift from my favorite person. I have to dress to impress, if you get what I mean." He winked

"Uh... Well..." Y/N's faced started to heat up.

"Haha, you're as red as always! Let's head inside. Our drinks aren't going to order themselves." Kuroo headed in with Y/N following behind.

The pair collected their drinks and headed over to the seats

"You know... how about we start over?"

"...What?" Y/N raised their hand to grab their drink but Kuroo reached out to intertwine his hand with theirs.

"About us. I said I would wait for you, remember?"

Y/N went silent and thought deeply about what Kuroo said.

"Well?" He tilts his head

"I... still don't feel like I'm know how to love. But..."

"But..." Kuroo leans forward

"If it's with you, Tetsu. I want to try."

Kuroo gives a grin.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear that."

[demivampirew]

Dry-leaves

(photos taken from Pinterest. Credits to the owners//collage made by me)

Henry x 1st person reader one shot.

A/N: First of all, I want to thank the people who showed me a lot of love in the post that I explained who I felt these last few days about writing (and in general). I decided to push through the negative thoughts and write. I used the mood I was in to write this one shot. Even thought this character is fictional, there are plenty of things for my personal experience I used for her background. I tried to make it a feel good story, but the issues reader thinks about are pretty real.

Triggers: depression; family drama;  stress (college, job, family)

You can find more of my writings in the Masterlist

Tag list: @lunedelorient @henrythickcavill @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @mary-ann84 @desperate-and-broken @peakygroupie @summersong69 @ivvitm1109 @madbaddic7ed @iloveyouyen @the-soot-sprite @hell1129-blog @whyyoudothistomecavill @thetaoofzoe​ @thereisa8ella​  @darkbooksarwin

The sound of the dry-leaves crunching as I step over them made me tingle and relax. I've been so stressed lately that I often forget to appreciate the beauty of the simple things like this.

If I have to be honest, I never truly value the little pleasures nature gift us: the Orage-ish leaves falling from the trees covering the floor and grass on Autumn; the cosiness of watching a movie while covering yourself with a blanket in the cold winter. The display of beautiful and vibrant colours of the blooming flowers in the spring, which release an often delicious and refreshing scent and,  the longer days in the summer filled with sunshine.

When I was younger, my parents set this expectation that the only way to succeed in life was to get a degree in college and find a well-paid job; so, as I grew up I became more and more obsessed with the idea of achieving this goal, that I completely ignored important things in life: my happiness being the main one. Unconsciously, I convinced myself that all I wanted in life was to get a degree, I thought that was my ultimate destiny. It was only the moment when I felt as if I was drowning when I realized that the only reason I was working hard on graduating from college was to make my parents happy, or to be more specific, not to disappoint them.

In life, there always that point when you're doing something you don't want to do, even if you pressured yourself to believe that it is, and you finally realized that that's not for you. My moment came last year when I was in a job that made me extremely unhappy and to top that, I was -for the third time in my life- in college trying hard to keep up with it and don't give up like the times before. I worked almost every day and with all I had to study for classes, I didn't have the time to do the simple things in life that I adore: watching my favourite shows and movies, listen to music I like, read books or see my friends. I achieve a level of unhappiness, that I would go to sleep every night wishing never to wake up again. I was done with my job, college and life.

Thankfully, there was a part of me that still believed in the possibility of a happy future and that's what gave me the energy to rescue myself from that dark hole. I started therapy, sought for a new job and decided to quit college - at least for now, maybe someday, when things are different and I have more time or maybe when I'm older I'll give it another try if I want to. But, the most important thing is that for the first time I would do what I wish; I'll work hard on building the life I want for me and not what others, my parents, for example, want for me. I might not be in my early twenties anymore, I might be at the age in which society expects you to have your life figured out and just starting to work on the future I want, but it's ok. It's ok just to walk through the park, enjoying watching the wind carry the falling tree-leaves and the little bear play with them, rolling over them and barking at the kids playing as if he was asking permission to join them.

"Here's your hot chocolate, babe," Henry said, handing me a Starbucks coffee cup full of a steamy milky infusion. He chuckled as he saw Kal play with two boys and a girl -the boys around ten and the girl must have been around five or six years old.

I met him a year ago at this same park. He saw me sitting on a bench, crying while I looked at my phone. The reason behind my tears was that I received a message from my mum telling me how disappointed she was for my decision of quitting college - it wasn't like me that was not the exact answer I expected from her, but still hurt to see her words. Henry asked me what was wrong and then sat next to me and had a long chat about life and how he dealt with the negative opinions others had of him. That day I thanked him and walked away, thinking that I'll never see him again. As it turns out, he walked his furry best mate in that park every single chance he got. Me on the other hand, I would go every now and then to that place because I found it hauntingly beautiful and peaceful. It's in a fancy neighbourhood and a bit far for the place I live, but it filled me with good energy so I didn't mind having to travel for an hour or so to get there to be able to enjoy its beauty.

The second time we saw each other was almost a month after that afternoon. I immediately recognized that unique creature that was the Akita and sought for his human with my eyes. And there he was, sitting alone on the same bench we met, watching his dog with an enormous smile on his face. I went into the Starbucks nearby and bought a coffee for him and a latte for me. Thankfully he was still there went I came back from the coffee-shop. Giving the fact that we spent an entire afternoon talking, I was sure he would remember me, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that he remembered my name as well. We chat for hours again, only this time the topics were more cheerful. That time he was the one who left first, but not without asking for my number first. For the following weeks, there wasn't a day we would not text each other, talking about absolutely everything: from games, books and movies, to family, friends, and ambitions in life. After a few weeks, he finally asked me out - I was dying for him to do that, but I wasn't exactly expecting him to do so, after all, he was a breath-taking gorgeous and very famous man and me, just a simple girl in her late twenties trying to figure out what I wanted to do with life and "breath-taking" isn't exactly an adjective that could be used to describe myself, simple and pretty enough could be more accurate - I might not be ugly, but for sure I'm not a femme fatale.

Living with my parents as I got closer to be thirty wasn't exactly an issue for my age, but rather because I decided to quit college. If I ever wanted to get better, I needed to live in another place, which is extremely difficult when you don't have a big salary. I earned enough money for expenses and other things but I could not afford to rent a flat. Henry offered to help me but I refused at first, until I couldn't stand to be in the house I lived anymore. It was then when I decided to accept his alternative proposal: to move in with him. This option was better than the other 1) because it wouldn't cost him any extra money and 2) we would be able to spend more time together.

"Thanks, baby, " I replied after grabbing the hot chocolate and took a couple of sips. My right arm grabbed his left one and we walked around the park, always keeping an eye on Kal as the bear played with those kids.

I'm happy to know that it's ok to not have things figured out. It's ok to take your time to enjoy the simple things in life. And when someone gives you a hand and tries to help you when you need it the most, you're not less independent, weak for accepting it.

[yongiefilms]

JUST ALWAYS.

STARRING: zhong chenle and reader

GENRE: fluff; best friend!au

WARNINGS: lawbreaking; excessive mentions of teasing; though the rest is complete friendship goals

PLOT: trust your best friend to know every detail of your life, even that one embarrassing time when you blabbered about your idea of a perfect date. but also trust him to be the one to fulfill every wish you ever had, even ones you thought would never come true.

RUNNING TIME: 2.7k

DIRECTOR’S NOTE: putting out fluff before every fic i drop is just pure angst because it is coming and very soon...but enjoy this cute scenario as my parting gift for you all (even if there will be possibly be a few more fluff fics after this, though don’t take my word for it). also shoutout to @dvrlingrenjun​ for always reading through my fics at ungodly hours of the day.

zhong chenle was your best friend since birth. you did everything together. there wasn’t a time when he wasn’t with you. you were the inseparable duo, the partners in crime, and one half of a whole. that was you and chenle. the best of friends, but not lovers like many assumed you to be. though that was never a problem, for it a topic of discussion that was never addressed, yet fully comprehensible to you both. it was a pure and friendly relationship, something that would sustain for years to come. he was there every step of the way and who says he wouldn't continue to be?

when you both were learning to ride bicycles, who was there? chenle. when you got your first tooth pulled, who was there? chenle. when you scraped your knee on the asphalt after running around the playground, who was there? chenle. for each and every memory.

he was always present, simply growing to be your best friend. sure you had others, consider the boys he befriended at the start of high school, but they didn’t mean nearly as much to you as he did.

you could tell him anything. do anything. there was no judgment, just absolute enjoyment. that’s the way it always went and it was why you knew whenever vacation rolled around for the two of you, it would always be the best time as long as you were with him. he planned new things every day, always making an effort and this time he said it was a surprise. nothing new, but you couldn’t help but be anxious at what he had planned.

so when he had picked you up from your house, several doors down from his own and drove to the outskirts of town, you knew something was up. he had parked at the entrance of a restricted zone and told you to follow him through the clearly broken metal fence. you had no choice but to do as he said, especially when you were losing the day fast. yet it wasn't as bad as you presumed it to be, for he led you to an expanse of a field littered with various types of flowers and plants and a very tall hill that could be seen clearer as you walked forward.

he ran straight towards the hill without glancing back to see where you were, too excited for his own good.

“come on!” he exclaimed, calling your name in the process. he was in a hurry for who knows what reason, but that didn’t stop him from making sure you were doing just fine on your own.

when he turned his body around he saw you were struggling to make your way up the steep hill after running to catch up to him. you were huffing and puffing every so often. your legs felt like jelly and you were not even halfway to your destination. it just proved how out of shape you were, well partially at least. why he decided it was a good idea to come here at nearly seven at night when the heat felt worse than it did during the day was beyond you, but it was one of the things you admire about him—your best friend since day one. he was always filled with unpredictable and undeniable fun, making your days brighter with just a grin along with his contagious laughter. you were grateful for him and his sense of adventure, but not right now when you felt you were going to collapse any second.

he rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath some phrase in mandarin before carefully going down the hill to where you suddenly stopped. one wrong move and he would tumble down the dewy grass so he had to be cautious. one of you had to make it out of this alive and you were hoping it was him considering you needed the most help.

he finally reached you after some delicate movements, where you stood relatively close to the start of the hill.

he chortled at you and your exasperated expression, one with your lips pursed together and your eyebrows furrowed. your skin was flushed from the heat and he could see some beads of sweat glistening on the top of your forehead as well as on your temples, just waiting to fall.

you weren’t kidding from being out of shape but it was mostly the humid heat emitting from the sun that was the cause.

he clicked his tongue and shook his head then proceeded to latch his hand onto your wrist to tug you up the hill since you clearly couldn’t do it yourself.

“you can never do anything without me huh?” he questioned with a quirk of his brow.

you sheepishly smiled at him and mumbled in reply, “possibly but don’t let it get to your head.”

his piercing laughter rang in your ears a second time and he trotted forward without responding, though you knew your statement added to his ever-inflating ego.

after several long minutes and repetitive stops because let us be real he had more energy than you, more strength in his legs, you had made it to the top of the hill that overlooked the cityscape of your small town nestled in between the mountains. the scenery was beyond beautiful leaving you starstruck for you never quite saw it in this light, literally. the sun was beginning to set beyond the horizon, the warm colors starting to fade into the darkness of the night. some lights of the homes in the distance were sparkling and the usual sound of cars was drowned out by nature’s bliss. a breeze could be felt that cools you down in moments, brushing against your face and his own, his hair ruffling ever so slightly.

but it wasn’t only the scenery, it was also him and what laid before you. you had guessed he had come upon the flowery hill before he had come to your house to pick you up. for the picture mimicked one you would only see in movies. a red and white checked blanket was laid on top of the dark green grass without any wrinkles in sight and was held down by a huge brown wicker picnic basket. additionally, juxtaposition to the basket, was one of your favorite novels of all time, little women by louisa may alcott, with a bouquet laying on top. you could make out some small white daisies in the bouquet, your favorite flowers something only he would know.

everything just appeared to be perfect.

his hand had dropped from your wrist as he took steps forward to sit on the blanket, leaving you to admire everything in front of you.

your eyes were wide and filled with shock, but you managed to let a soft smile slip onto your face as you focused on him.

zhong chenle amazed you. he always did.

he tilted his head, waiting to see your next move, and then patted the spot next to him, silently asking you to join him.

you shook your head to get out of your trance and strode forward, sitting down criss-cross applesauce right next to the boy in question.

“chenle...” you spoke. “what is all this?” you let out a little guffaw, a teasing tone dripping from your words. “did you do this all for me?”

he gave you a deadpan look and you had to hold back the giggles from escaping your mouth. “don’t think too highly of yourself now.” he reached over to lightly push you to the side, the laughter bubbling up from your throat.

“but in all due seriousness, it’s a picnic can’t you see?” he put his arms in front of him and made a grand gesture towards everything before you.

your cackles halted to a stop and you huffed in response, rolling your eyes at his remark. trust him to be smart with his retorts, always trying to be one step ahead while ruining the zest in the process. silence encompassed you both as you just stared at each other, but then a beam broke out on his face, his eyes transforming into little crescents. he let out a small cough to clear the air as it was now your turn to give him a deadpan stare, but it was hard when his next words warmed your heart.

“anyways...while we are having a picnic that i obviously did for you, it isn’t for no reason. do you remember that time we were just absentmindedly discussing our crushes or something like that? it was a while ago, so i am not sure if you remember, but i do.” his hand was twiddling with a piece of grass as he had twisted away from you, refusing to make eye contact. “you told me this idea you had for a perfect date. one where your partner would prepare a picnic for the two of you, specifically with a home-cooked meal and the two of you would watch the sunset while having a view of the town. you said it was basically the dream date and the person that would do this for you would have your heart.” he let out a taunting snicker and finally raised his head to gaze at you again. “imagine that, but since you clearly haven’t had a date in forever, i thought why not?”

you were about to punch his shoulder from his not so kind jab at your love life, but he jerked away just in time before continuing. “might as well put my clearly romantic side to good use. as you can see i clearly did a fantastic job if i do say so myself. i think i got the whole lovey-dovey thing down.”

you hummed in acknowledgment though you weren’t going to give him the benefit of the doubt, well not entirely at least. “sure you do,” you let out a scoff. “but lovey-dovey? buddy, need i remind you we are friends?” you furrowed your eyebrows and glanced at him weirdly, though you were being lighthearted rather than serious.

he nervously chuckled and cleared his throat, afraid you caught onto something, but he knew it was all in good mirth. however, that didn’t calm his beating heart.

his nerves were still haywire, yet he managed to place his right palm over his chest, near his heart. “did you…” he took a sharp inhale of breath. “just friend zone me?”

you hit his chest playfully. “shut up. you’re so annoying sometimes, lele.”

he gave you a toothy grin, bumping his shoulder with your own. “it is my job after all.”

another roll of the eyes. “unfortunately, but i really can’t believe you remember what i told you about my idea for a perfect date. it seems so long ago…”  you trailed off, lifting your eyes to admire your town, the faint glow of the sunlight reflecting across your face.

“i always remember things involving you.”

your heart stopped in your chest at his bluntness, the evident embarrassment coursing through your veins. sometimes it astonished you how chenle never had a filter, always speaking his mind, yet with it came the fact that he sometimes did not know what he truly said. right now was one of those countless times, albeit you knew he meant declaration, especially when it came to one of his closest friends.

you could hear the shuffling besides you. chenle was obviously trying to set everything up by opening up the basket and taking out all the goodies he had prepared for this “romantic date.”

you whipped your head around to see what he was doing with making so much noise. at that moment he had managed to take out two perfectly plastic wrapped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, placing them on two paper plates he had taken out seconds before. his hand reached in the basket once more and he took out two apple juice boxes, putting them right near the sandwiches.

your titters rang loud, startling chenle in the process as his head abruptly jerked up.

you brought your hands up to your mouth to try to stop the chuckles from coming out, the sound becoming muffled. he raised his eyebrows at you, trying to figure out what was so funny. instances went by before you had finally become quiet and dropped your hands in your lap.

“chenle you can’t be serious. what is this? an elementary school meal?” you threw your head back, placing your hands flat on the checkered blanket to keep your composure.

“hey! elementary meals were good. don’t slander them.”

you brought your head forward, raising your hands up in the air for defense. “okay, okay.” your beam was wide viewing his clearly offended expression. “though i know you can cook so it came as a surprise. i am just a bit confused is all.”

he sighed loudly, leaning back on his arms. “yes i can, but i was on a time constraint so i couldn’t hone in on my cooking skills today, okay? sorry to disappoint. though if you think about it this is technically home-made.”

“you’re not wrong, but hey i will take what i can get.”

“thank you for your generosity.” he let out a scoff then reached to the side of the basket and picked up your favorite book, thrusting it into your hands. “now here, i couldn’t forget to bring it.”

you ran your fingertips across the cover, turning it over in your hands to admire every inch of the novel even if you had seen it a thousands times before.

he poked your shoulder blade to capture your attention amongst your state of admiration. he held out the bouquet of flowers you speculated he had picked from the flowery field surrounding the hill and you put the novel to the side, taking the flowers from him.

“wow i guess i can’t deny you are a little bit romantic,” you jeered at him.

he whirled his head away, the tips of his ears growing slightly red. “now shut up and let’s watch the sunset...please.”

you let out a long breath. “fine, but don’t forget we have to eat too.”

he rolled his eyes, handing you the plate with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich along with the apple juice, which you gladly took from him after placing the bouquet down. “obviously.”

so that is how you spent the rest of the evening, like the perfect date you had in mind years ago―watching the sunset and eating a homemade meal even if it was something straight out of the elementary school cafeteria, while sitting atop a hill that encompassed the whole town.

when the light of day finally faded away, you cuddled close to your best friend, seeking some sort of contact even if the coolness of the night was rarely felt.

he didn’t even think twice before putting his arm around you, tugging you a little bit closer to him. when he did so you placed your head on his shoulder, rotating away from the now dark sky to peer up at him with puppy dog eyes.

you spoke so gently that if anyone managed to pass by the two of you right then, they wouldn’t be able to hear you from the barely evident sound.

“hey lele?” you question.

he hums in return, still observing the twinkling lights of the town and stars.

“thank you for today. i enjoyed our little friend date, definitely was like i imagined it to be.” you released a small giggle. “a perfect date indeed so thank you for doing this for me.”

he turns his head down to glimpse at you once you finish talking, his gaze filled with fondness. he then shifted slightly and placed a kiss on the top of your head, murmuring his next words.

“you’re welcome.” you could hear the smile in his voice.

you looked straight forward, no longer locking eyes with him and whispered into the night,“i love you.”

his melodic laughter filled your ears. “yes i know.” he paused, murmuring right back. “but i love you too.”

you held out your pinky finger, raising it slightly so he could clearly see it among the increasing blackness.

“always and forever?” you asked.

he hooked his pinky with yours.

“always and forever.”

[bubbleteaa]

Flowers and papercraft [Tsukishima Kei x Reader]

flowers and papercraft;;

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader

fandom: haikyuu!!

genres: fluff! fluff! fluff! and like only 100 words with angst. just to break the cycle and to make @pm4gal​ happy uwu 

word count: 5.7K

a/n: (me, a clown on may 15th) i came out with this after 4 days without internet (I still don’t have:c) i just want to show to my blonde ass tall baby how much i love him oc :c sorry if its shitty, hope you enjoy it tho! [I WROTE THIS TWO WEEKS AGO LMAO]- So, I just finished this and it’s kinda trashyyy, anyhow, I hope you enjoy this! I love you guys!

Summary: Tsukki wants you to teach him how to make those papercrafts that you make. In return, you ask him to give you flowers. Between daisies and scissors, love blooms. 

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

Tsukishima Kei knew you. Or that was what he had always said to himself.

And how can he not know you? You were the sunshine of Karasuno. Everything in you shines: your smile, your eyes, your hair, the small earrings that you used so that they did not catch your attention, the bracelets that you hid under your sleeves. All the words that came out of your mouth were sweet and you were always willing to help others. After all this, you were talented and a cultured and patient person.

Even on the first day of school you had asked everyone what they liked best. Tsukishima decided to ignore you, but Yamaguchi told you that he liked dinosaurs. Two weeks later you had given everyone in the class a papercraft of what they liked the most, including him. And he still had the little T-Rex you had made for him, and he still read the little note it came with.

"I hope we can be friends, Kei :)"

That had been two years ago.

They were in their third year now and graduation was approaching. You were friends with Tadashi and therefore you would occasionally strike up conversations with him, but Tsukki always ignored you or answered you curtly. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to ignore you, just that you were very "radiant and lively" to him.

Tsukishima Kei was amazed at who you were and how you were with others. So he never managed to speak to you as he would have liked to speak to you. Part of him said you were irritating, another part of him wasn't paying attention to you and another part of him was hooked on your silly jokes and the way you smiled at him every morning wishing him a good day.

And he would have kept at it, never sharing a word with you other than when they were with Yamaguchi.

Until, in the last semester, the final project of family economics ended up pairing them into a team that would last until graduation.

Tsukishima Kei was smart. He knew that family economics was a subject that might seem silly, but it was necessary for his life. He was not outstanding, but he defended himself as best as he could. But, to share a subject that was about domestic life, a project in which they had to know their partner better and learn to work as a team, not as partners, but as a “couple”, learning everything they could from the other and then expose what they liked about the other in front of the whole class as evidence that "two are better than one" with you?

His nerves were above heaven.

"It is a pleasure to be able to work with you, Tsukishima-kun!" Those were your words when the groups were announced. Tsukishima could only pay attention to how you smiled differently, there was an unusual shine in your eyes, your lips were giving him a unique curve, just for him "I know we will do a good job, together"

Together, that was the keyword.

"Yeah" was his reply. He averted his gaze and continued to pay attention to the class; however, his gaze danced out of the corner of his eye to land on your figure. You were happy.

Too happy.

He ignored you for a week, he had made no progress with you. Tadashi told him that it was silly not to pay attention to you when you were clearly trying to approach him. Tsukishima did not pay attention to Tadashi, he did not understand. He wouldn't understand what you were making him feel. It was impossible to understand.

He realized with the passing of the days that his general knowledge about you was limited, he only knew what was obvious to his sight; But for some reason, you knew a lot about him. He speculated that Yamaguchi had told you, or perhaps you were also as observant as he was.

And while he kept thinking and thinking, the project kept falling behind and you kept trying to talk to him, in vain.

Tsukishima Kei knew you, but had never spoken to you before, nor had sat down to listen to music with you, nor had taken the time to meet you. He only knew of your existence, of how your beautiful voice sounded, of how your eyes shone with joy and peace when he answered some silly question you asked.

Tsukishima Kei was not your friend. But you wanted him to be your friend.

So, when he approached you during the lunch break, three weeks later, and asked if he could speak with you, your eyes did not stop filling with intensity, your smile was brighter and your lips were absurdly shiny because of the coconut chapstick you always used. You were more than radiant that day, you were more than happy.

And when he asked you if you could teach him to do what you loved so much to do, your joy overflowed with your little figure.

"I know you know how to do those things with paper that seems like origami, but those are more difficult" he looked into your eyes, and you were captivated by his "teach me how to do it. We must start with this project and honestly, learning to do your own thing will be easier. It's just paper, after all."

"Tsukishima-kun, the magic word " you smiled while you teased him. He have sighed "C'mon, sayyy it"

"L/N. I will give you what you want, but teach me how to do this. I want to finish the project to be calm ”

"Give me flowers"

Tsukishima Kei did not know you. And neither did the things you liked. Maybe that's why, when you answered something so simple and at the same time difficult to have, he frowned noticeably, almost as if he was silently judging you. And the truth was, he was doing it. Why did you want flowers? Couldn't you get yourself some?

"Why?" he asked, sighing with some frustration "I won't give you flowers. It's a joint project, I shouldn't even give you something in return. Even- ”

"I will not teach you then. You've been ignoring me for a long time, Tsukishima-kun, every time I tried to talk to you, you either ignored me or reluctantly answered me. Perhaps you intend to get out of the project as quickly as possible, but I want to take the time to get to know you and to become friends. That is the idea of ​​the project”

Tsukishima Kei didn't know you, but he did know that you were a person who always shook hands with others and was always willing to teach idiots like Hinata or Kageyama what you knew. So when you refused help, he was surprised. But you were right, the project had a particular goal.

He even widened his eyes a bit when you refused, his amber irises staring at you incredulously. It was almost impossible for him to believe that you, Karasuno’s sunshine, had denied help to someone like him, who never asked for help and was already impossible to establish a conversation with.

He only answered with a roll of his eyes and a “Anyway I don't need you. I'll investigate for myself” as he left you alone near the food vending machine. Your smile was not erased at any time, even your eyes still sparkled with the same joy.

"If you change your mind, my favorite flowers are daisies" your voice sounded just as happy as every day. That irritated him, he had less than five months to graduate and you had denied him the help "Good luck, Tsukishima-kun!"

And now, three weeks later, Tsukishima Kei realized that what you were always doing was not only fantastic but also complicated and almost impossible to do; He felt stupid to say that it was just paper and that it should be easy.

It was very complicated.

Origami was easy compared to what you were doing. Simple 3d figures that were already impressive in themselves. Even printing the molds, he couldn't get it right. Kei sighed, before running his long white fingers through his blond hair, he stared at the T-Rex that you had given him years ago. If he really didn't want to be your friend or be related to you, why did he keep it? Why did he have it in a place where anyone who entered your room could appreciate the enormous effort you put into doing it?

Why did he want that everyone saw it?

Why did he mind waking up and the first thing he noticed when he put on his glasses was that gift?

What was special about it?

A month after trying to do things on his own, he arrived with a few daisies at your table and left them right in front of you. You were distracted by making a paper airplane when the flowers fell in front of you. Your eyes blinked and fluttered like butterflies at how pretty and fresh the flowers looked. It was not as if it were a bouquet of roses and covered in the decorative paper and an excessively large bow. But they were tied together by a small string and had a tiny note tied next to them.

"Please"

Your eyes gradually went up to meet the giant figure of Tsukishima moving away to reach his table. You smiled lightly. You finished making the paper plane before launching it at his table, which hit Kei's desk. He took it with an irritated look to read what one of his wings said.

After school?

Tsukki didn't notice how a small curve formed on his lips, a smile that you had never seen before on his face, between relief and joy. It was a smile that was dedicated to your response, a smile exclusively for you.

A smile that you would never forget or wish to lose from your memory.

When classes ended, your hands were holding scissors, a glue stick, some pencils, and colored cardboard, Kei blinked in confusion.

"Cardboard? Don't you use paper?"

"No, Tsukishima-kun!" You laughed “The paper is very delicate and easy to ruin. It is better to use cardboard" you smiled looking at it “The cardboard is stronger, it resists more and it is not damaged as easily” you left the materials on the blond's desk “Think of it this way. You have to have strong bones to stop the spike as Ushiwaka’s spike in first year, right? The same is with cardboard and paper ”

Tsukishima Kei had not told you about him or his relationship with volleyball. After all, you weren't friends. Of course you knew about Ushiwaka, his position, and his affinity for volleyball. You weren't blind and Tadashi was your friend, of course.

You know more than Tsukishima because of Tadashi, than for Tsukishima himself.

"You didn't have to use that unnecessary comparison" his words were accompanied with a sigh, Tsukishima fixed his glasses before staring at you "But you're right"

You smiled a little more and for some reason, Kei stared at your lips. A small rosy color peeked from his pale cheeks and he immediately looked down when he felt his face turned red.

On the other hand, Yamaguchi looked at you curiously from his desk.

Tadashi thought it strange that both of you spoke without him being in the middle of the conversation. But he was happy in a way that the blonde was talking to you. He decided to go ahead and let you continue talking.

"Thanks for the flowers, Tsukishima-kun" Tsukki wasn't looking at you, but he obviously knew you were smiling. He could see your hands begin to draw something similar to a small heart "They are very pretty"

"You told me you wanted flowers" his words seemed like a complaint. You laughed.

“I know, but you could only ask me again for the favor. I know you think I am very irritating" Tsukishima blinked at what you said but did not answer “I just wanted to bother you a little, sorry if I made you understand that I was not going to help you. A month passed and I thought you had already got someone else to teach you. I apologize, I was immature”

“Nobody does that papercraft thing as good as you ” he was sincere, your cheeks started to redden and you smiled a little more. You finished drawing "How can you draw it? Don't you need the mold?"

"I just imagine it and that's it, I’m used to it, I think"

"What? Is it so easy for you?"

"It's something I have been doing since I was little, so, yes"

Kei was silent for a few seconds before watching how you finished the mold and started cutting it. His eyes tried to record every passing and manner in which you took the material delicately. He ended up getting distracted by how small your fingers looked, how delicate and fragile they seemed.

"The trick is to cut it to perfection," you commented as you cut the mold out of the heart, pulling Tsukishima out of his thoughts. He blinked somewhat confused.

"What if I don't cut it right?"

"Well" you seemed to doubt your answer for a few seconds "Sometimes it turns out well, other times it goes wrong. It may look perfectionist” you paused to start folding the edges where you would join the other pieces of the heart  “But we are perfectionists in many things we do or say because we want them to go well"

"Don't you think you give a lot of depth to what you say?" he sighed.

"Don't you think that's what's interesting?" You played along, before taking the gum stick and starting to put the glue together to join the pieces “When you talk to someone, you realize the little things. From his body language and the level of language he uses with you” you held the edges for several seconds, waiting for them to join “The tone of voice they uses if they are confident, the nicknames they uses with you. It's very interesting and beautiful, I don't know” you smiled again, before gently pressing the places where you had joined the edges “I like to do it”

You finished after about ten minutes, and you gave Tsukishima a yellow heart.

"Right now I have to go eat, Tsukishima-kun. If you want, I can start teaching you after your practice or if you wish, we meet at a café to start doing your intensive course to learn how to make papercraft. I must also learn from what you like to do, it should not always be about papercraft. Is that okay?" Your lively tone made Kei smile lightly. After a long time without looking at you, he met your eyes that were shining more than ever "Next time, will you bring me flowers too?"

"I suppose"

Kei noticed how his response encouraged you even more. You took your belongings to put away to put on your desk and then looked at it as you walked out.

"Ok, Tsukishima-kun! Well, see you later” you waved your hand in farewell and went out the door of the room, leaving him alone.

He looked down at the heart you had made for him. He stroked it carefully and in all the time he talked to you, he didn't feel forced by a project. This was strange to him, after all, part of him considered you annoying and saw the project more annoying. If something bothered him, he was supposed to just think about it. Instead, only your smile appeared on his mind and how your fingers worked with so much care and affection to make the heart that now rested on his desk.

And his head began to ask questions. Why did you choose a heart? Why was it yellow? Why did you make it that size? Was there really a reason or was it just random? Was I analyzing things a lot? Did your words had brought him to that state?

Tsukishima Kei realized that he did not know anything about you. Nothing other than what I had heard or seen.

Tsukishima Kei did not know you.

But he wanted to do it.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  Tsukishima Kei was getting to know you. After three months working on the project, regular outings to a café that was cheap (and that you liked), every Wednesday and Thursday with him at volleyball practices to learn to block, internal jokes about crafts and dinosaurs and occasionally, sometimes there were certain walks home, Tsukishima Kei had realized that he did not want to be your friend. Or a just a project partner.

He wanted to be something else.

He didn't dare say it, actually. But everyone thought that more than a project, there was something between you. Tadashi started to think about it too, especially after seeing Tsukishima lend you his headphones the first time.

Also when he said you could call him Kei or Tsukki.

At that moment, Tadashi realized that Tsukishima Kei, his best friend, was whipped for you.

That day, you took his hands when you were saying goodbye to him, and for the first time in all the time he had observed you, he realized that your hands were hurt.

Tsukishima Kei never thought that your hands would have scars. Maybe it figured one or two small marks, probably on your fingers, but he never imagined that your hands had scars from cuts and burns. When he realized it, he did not ask you so as not to invade your personal space; even being very observant, he had not noticed that little flaw of yours. 

And, what if they were hurt because of volleyball too?

And, if he thought better of it, why did you keep doing that if it hurt you?

He thought about the times when his hands and fingers were also hurt by volleyball. It was somewhat hypocritical of him to ask himself that question. Why did you keep doing something no matter what hurt you?

Because you liked it. Because it was something you were good at.

Same as him.

The middle blocker had organized a schedule with you, deciding which days of the week and how many hours they would dedicate to their “craft” sessions. Tsukishima appreciated the gesture, as regardless of anything, you had the patience for him and the way you explained it did not cause him as much irritation as your personality in general.

Something contrary to you, of course. Even when you both were freshmans, you always kept that look happy and lively, you were never negative, and even when you "denied" at the beginning helping him, you were willing to help him.

"How did you do that?"

"This?" You showed him the little crow you made during the break. The blonde felt. You smiled lightly "This is a little more complicated, I have been trying for a week to do it well"

"And isn't it okay?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, the wings are uneven and I must reduce the space between the cuts. Maybe a few more tries and I will succeed.”

"Uhm" Tsukishima took out the flowers he had bought for you and placed them on your lap.

You had already told him several times that he didn't need to give you more flowers. But it became a habit and he quietly enjoyed your reactions. They were little gifts that he loved to give you.

Your smile widened and you looked at him "Thank you, Kei"

"You're welcome"

"See you in two weeks, 'kay?" now your radiant voice was lower and a little more painful when you were near him, which seemed strange to him. There were noticeable changes in you, your cheeks were pink most of the time you spent with him, sometimes your fingers intertwined with his. Occasionally you would give him your creations, like small dinosaurs that, when he got home, would put them next to the largest one that you had given him in the first year "Rest, Kei"

Two weeks. You were going to Tokyo for two weeks for family matters. When you broke the news, he acted nonchalantly, but inside he was upset. So long? It wasn't like he couldn't write or talk to you. Sure, you both could always make calls when you were idle. Because after all, he wanted to get to know you more, right?

Right?

"Y/N" he called you before you could leave. You turned slightly and looked at him, curiosity came from your orbs color e/c "Call me when you get to Tokyo"

A smile formed on your lips "Okay"

"And every night you are there. I will miss having you around”

The smile you had on your lips was erased, you were surprised and so was he. You covered your face a little at his request.

"I-I will" was the first time your words came out in a stutter for him.

The effect Tsukishima had on you.

The effect that you had on Tsukishima.

It was no longer just a project.

The cheeks of both began to scandalize after what Tsukishima asked, but you could only close your eyes and again, give him another smile.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  The two weeks passed slowly and painfully. But you were already back.

He was walking with Yamaguchi after practice, on the way home. The next day you would meet him in the cafe and you had entrusted him to make a small doll with molds that you had made for him. It was not complicated at all, you had even provided him with the materials.

"It's not like I don't have any of this at home" that's what he said to you as you handed him the sheet-size cardboard in a small bag.

"I don't want you to spend a lot, you should save to continue practicing" you answered with a smile that was still impregnated in his head, after almost six hours of having seen you for the last time.

It irritated him that you were so good.

"Tsukki" Yamaguchi called out to him and smiled lightly. Kei was still with his headphones on his neck, immediately looked at the olive-eyed boy "What are you thinking about?"

"It's not a big deal," he shrugged as they continued walking. Yams smiled lightly before following his "Just rambling"

"You ramble a lot since you became friends with Y/N-chi"

"Y/N-chi?" He looked at him confused "Why do you call her that?"

"It is something between us" he replied. Tsukishima frowned, something between you two? What the hell did that mean? Kei was aware that you guys were friends for a very long time, and that you were very lovely when it came to Yamaguchi, but was there something between you guys? “But, you haven't told me why suddenly you want to learn how to make papercraft. You even give Y/N-chi flowers! Do you like her?”

Did he like you?

No.

He loves you.

But he still couldn't admit it out loud. Something was stopping him.

"No"

"Too bad, because she likes you"

Tsukishima's heart began to beat very fast, the tips of his ears turned red and he tried his best to sound as casual as possible in front of his best friend.

"Who told you that?"

"Y/N-chi"

“We only speak for the project. Nothing else"

“Y/N-chi thought that you had approached her because you wanted to be her friend. Sne even confessed to me that she liked your company very much, she call you even a friend. Do you consider her a friend?”

"Uhm"

"Cat’s got your tongue, I see. I guess it's normal, sometimes we don't feel the same way about other people. Although, in a certain way, it’s ugly, Tsukki, people often approach Y/N-chi to ask for favors and out of interest.” Yamaguchi laughed lightly. Tsukishima felt somewhat uncomfortable. If he said it that way, it seemed that he only had an interest and that he did not care to establish a friendship with you, something inside him began to burn, as if he were being selfish. Selfish not to confess how much he liked you.

"Are you trying to sound like Kuroo-san or something?" was the only thing he answered before he stopped walking. There was a silence that cut between the two "Does she really enjoy my company?"

"She said you were not as bitter as before"

"Did she say that?" Tsukishima frowned, "Well, she's still just as irritating."

"It just irritates you because you really like Y/N-chi," he laughed again.

"No"

"Nah, you like Y/N-chi"

Tsukishima sighed. Yamaguchi was a tough nut to crack.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  Tsukishima put his bag on the floor and took out the materials you had given him, concentrated on recreating the mold on top of colored cardboard y/f/c. As he drew the patterns, he could only think of the little rubbing your hands made against his, how his scars felt against his fingertips. He thought about your smile and how well it contrasted with your face, how beautiful your skin shone against the sunlight, regardless of the season.

Before he knew it, he had already ruined the mold. He sighed with some anger, taking his cell phone and sending you a message as if it were a reflection:

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

I give up"

He sighed.

"From: Y/N 🦕

To: Tsukki 🦖

Couldn't make the mold? If you can't, don't worry. Tomorrow I will show you how you can do it <3 "

A heart?

Why did you send him a heart?

His cheeks flushed and he didn't think about what he would say next. He just imagined your happy voice saying the same words to him.

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

What flowers would you like me to give you tomorrow? ”

Tsukishima blinked and reread the message he had just sent, his face filled with grief and before he could erase it, you had already replied.

"From: Y/N 🦕

To: Tsukki 🦖

The ones you want, Kei-chan! I already told you that you don't need to keep giving me flowers. But thanks :), I am very happy that you give me flowers”

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

I like to see you happy"

Kei's golden eyes widened in amazement at his own words.

Was Yamaguchi right?

Did he like you?

This time, it took you longer to respond.

"To: Tsukki 🦖

From: Y/N 🦕

I like you, Tsukki "

No.

You couldn't tell him that, not now that he was so focused on denying his feelings for you. The project would soon be over and with this, his last school year. Possibly they would not see each other. What was he thinking? Possibly he could never be more than your classmate. Nothing else, you could not confuse his feelings with the "good morning" and the smiles you gave him. You couldn't do it. It was not fair.

But he wanted you to confuse him.

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

Sleep well, silly”

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  He was so tired from practice that he left earlier, he called to meet you and now they were lying next to each other on the sofa in the cafe where they always went to study together. His eyes felt tired as you continued stroking his hair. The way your fingers slid down the strands of his hair, smooth like they were massaging his head, the way that half of his body was inadvertently resting on yours, falling asleep. The way you were so loving, so kind.

"Kei?" He heard your voice but did not answer you. His eyes were completely closed. You smiled lightly “Kei, you can't sleep, you have to finish the homework and then finish the mold I gave you. Come on, get up.” Your hands went down from his hair to his cheeks, Tsukishima slightly opened his eyes to lie completely on your chest. Your eyes widened in amazement and you began to feel the heat rise to your cheeks.

“Let's stay like that for a moment” he didn't want to sound tired, and even so, he did. Why was he different around you? What made you so special? "The flowers... are in my bag" he yawn, wrapping his long arms around your waist.

You froze. It was the first time that Tsukishima acted this way with you. A few nights ago you had confessed your feelings for him, but you had not exactly talked about it in person. He hadn't brought you flowers since that day, and he was quieter than usual. The project exhibition was in two weeks. You had practiced everything they could practice, Tsukishima had improved a lot when it came to doing crafts and you were proud of him.

For your part, blocking in volleyball was painful. But it was something Tsukishima did very well. Your hands continued to gently stroke Kei's hair.

"I really like you a lot, Kei"

"I like you too," was a whisper, as if he was scared to say it. You smiled. You closed your eyes lightly to hug him. Tsukki let out a "Silly" sigh

His hands left your waist to sit up and take something out of his bag.

Your eyes for some reason filled with tears.

Tsukishima Kei knew you. And he knew that what you liked the most was making papercrafts. He knew your favorite flower was daisies and he knew your favorite color was y/f/c. He knew that even if it wasn't perfect, you were going to like it because he had done it. After all, you were not looking for perfection, just love.

"Don't be silly " he smiled lightly as he handed you the small daisies made with colored cardboard y/f/c. Among them, there were a few real ones, your heart began to beat rapidly, there was also a heart, also made of cardboard. You looked at him, tears came out of the corners of your eyes. Tsukki sighed and kissed your forehead "Don't cry"

He still couldn't admit his feelings out loud.

But soon, he will.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  "Y/N" Kei's eyes stared at you "Remember you start exposing"

You smiled and nodded your head.

The oral part of the exhibition began. You had to share what you liked best about each other.

Tadashi smiled slightly and raised his thumb looking at them.

"Tsukishima Kei is the type of person who I expect..."

Tsukishima paid almost no attention to what you were saying, not because he wasn't interested in knowing what you liked most about him, but because he was thinking about what he liked most about you. His eyes were still glued to the front, occasionally turning to you only to notice how your e/c colored eyes sparkled when talking about him.

Tsukishima Kei knew you.

"Tsukishima, your turn" You gave him a little pinch and smiled lightly.

Your smile. He liked your smile.

He liked how your hands were small. He liked your voice. He liked your attitude that occasionally irritated him. He liked how you talked about everything very calmly.

He liked you.

He liked you. He was ready to say it.

"L/N Y/N is the type of person that irritates me," he confessed. Yamaguchi smiled nervously as he motioned for Kei to stop. "Her joy and manner of speaking on certain topics seem strange to me. She is always smiling and there is nothing to bring down her good mood. It's annoying" Tsukishima took a moment to look at you, you stared at him, waiting for him to continue “But I like it. I like that it irritates me because it is something different. You are something different” he smiled, adjusting his glasses “I like it when you say "good morning" to me. I like it when you say "See you tomorrow, Kei." I like how your fingers caress my hair, and I also like it when you smile at me for no reason. I like to see you when you pay attention in class, I like to see you when you are distracted. I like your face, I like your hands” both Tsukishima's hands grabbed your hands and he kept smiling “And I wish I could stop them from getting more scars. I like to know that you help others, I like to know that I can talk to you about anything. I like your eyes, I like your hair. I like it when we sat in the cafe and always ask that boba of matcha. It tastes horrible, but you like it. I like it when you smile because of something I tell you, it's different, it's for me, and that's why I like it” he stopped to squeeze your hands a little “I like that you like the flowers that I give you, and I also like that you gave me taught you what you liked. I like how we share jokes. I like our calls. I like our conversations. I like the fact that you tried to learn volleyball with me. I like that you always flatter me. I like that it's you. I…” he closed his eyes “I like you, Y/N ”

He was afraid to open his eyes, afraid to face whatever came.

"Tsukishima. You took too literally what it was that you liked about your partner” he heard the voice of their teacher and his cheeks reddened, he released your hands and opened his eyes, staring straight ahead.

"I'm sorry, teacher"

"Uhm. Anyway, something is something. Good job, tho. It seems that we have some sweethearts right in front of us"

He couldn't look you in the eye immediately. When you finished, and the class was over, he felt your hands take his arm, he turned to look at you intently.

"I like you too, Kei" you smiled.

"Don’t be silly"

"Uhm, the only silly here is you"

"Maybe" he fixed some strands that covered your face "Your silly fool"

"My fool" you smiled. Tsukishima leaned forward a little so he could kiss your forehead. "Do you want us to eat together or-"

"OHHH, TSUKISHIMA, ARE YOU BOYFRIEND OF L/N-SAN? YAMS TOLD US THAT YOU CONFESSED IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS! TSUKISHIMA YOU LUCKY B-"

"HINATA BOKE!, STOP SCREAMING"

Tsukishima sighed before looking at you " Let's go"

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.