#my sides despair

[circuscountdowns]

inspired by how I do not let my 27ish followers be dead for longer than a ritual cooldown :) (and now I have so many immortal necklaces and egg yolks???? forever cult forever and ever)

[accirax]

🎭2 days left until DRDT Chapter 2 continues!🏇🏻

[terukotime]

am i the only one who was not the same after this scene

like you give me shirtless teruko and expect me to be SANE?!?!?!?!

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

to round out tonight's humphris-gamble spiral: the 2.14 exorcism as an almost prophetic play-by-play of 4.21, with both episodes featuring the dean-bobby familial unit bringing a monstrous sam back under control (meg, earlier in 2.14: 'meg? no. not anymore. i'm sam'). and the different parting glances between sam and bobby here. bobby's wary, assessing look in 2.14 vs. the 'what's become of you' face he's making in 4.21. sam's anxious smile in 2.14, seeking reassurance, vs. his look of worn down despair post-panic room in 4.21. a sam who still hopes that his monstrosity might be treated as something external to himself, a demon to be exorcised vs. a sam face-to-face with the barrel of a gun, knowing that he is The Monster in this story (dean in 4.21 later telling him, 'it's what you are').

[yukennico]

if he was still alive (xander will never say any of these things)

[spittyfishy]

Trying to get the hang of drawing Monaca (with varying degrees of success)

[fried-manto]

K-komahina..?

[tawny-panthera]

In agreement, for better or for worse (I love their dynamic so much)

[pegasister60]

"[Locus standi Has Been Initiated] ... [MAKE YOUR CASE!]"

-Excerpt from Chapter 13 of Snake Eyes by KillingJoke98.

--

Yeah, if he looked at me like that I'd shut up and listen too.

Another fic rec. This banger's a Danganronpa THH fic! Been a while since I've gone here but this lad is dear to me. He has final girl energy and Makoto-typical luck. A fucking terrifying combination, let me tell you!

This fic is ongoing and on hiatus as of me posting this. I fucking promise you it slaps. Give it a shot!! It's got murder and violence and mystery and betrayal and all the makings of a fantastic DR fic, but through the lens of a protagonist who needs a chance to lay down for 18 hours straight. Somebody please crack open your sewing kit-

[deiaiko]

#18.1 Rak

Rak let out a huff and sat down next to Agni. Agni peeked over at Rak, who was looking far ahead, as if his past were replaying right before him.

TW: Self harm and suicide…in a way? (Sorry if it gets too dark. I put the TLDR on the tags)

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"I met him back when I was young, about a hundred years ago," Rak started.

Agni was taken aback at how long the gap between their time travel was. He wondered how much his Rak had changed.

"It was getting cold, which meant it was hunting season. I got bored and picked a fight with the toughest and biggest prey I could find."

Agni hummed when Rak paused for a moment too long, "Let me guess. You underestimated it and you lost?"

"The river was slippery!" Rak crossed his arms defensively. "And I didn't lose!"

"Sure," Agni rolled his eyes, one corner of his lips upturned. "How come?"

"I didn't lose, but I didn’t win either." Rak looked away, probably in embarrassment. "Another spear pierced its head before mine. That's when I met him."

From the way Rak's expression turned fiery, Agni had a suspicion that that exact moment had affected Rak more than what he spilled out. It didn't surprise him however, since he knew Rak’s ego.

"He was around for a while, acting like he cared about me." Rak huffed again, more fondly this time, eyes closed and arms still crossed. "He taught me a few fancy tricks with rocks and how to hunt better. He talked a lot about turtle this and turtle that. There were so many, I don't remember. But Black and Blue turtles were the ones he talked about the most, saying something like 'no one else will be more worthy prey than them.'"

Agni felt his chest tighten. To think that their Rak had acknowledged them and even bragged about it…it filled him with a sense of pride and longing.

"I didn't believe him then, since turtles are boring and no way they could do what he said they could." Rak paused and untangled his arms, eyes focusing and turning predatory, "But when he said that these turtles were unlike what we had there, I have been wanting to meet those turtles he told me about and hunt them."

Rak's story was intriguing. But even if it flattered him, Agni was more curious about his Rak's whereabouts. "What happened to him then? Wasn't he…badly injured?"

Rak frowned and went silent. But when he found his voice, it lacked its previous vigor. "He was. It looked fresh and so impossible to walk with, but he did. I asked if it was painful, but he said he didn’t feel a thing."

Third-degree burn. Agni thought to himself. But there was no way it spread evenly. Some areas must've been painful.

"He definitely lied," Rak voiced Agni's thought. "He was just acting to look tough."

The edge of Agni's lips twitched in an attempt to suppress his smile. That's him alright. And of course Rak could figure his own self easily. 

"One day he challenged me in an all out duel," Rak's gaze turned dark. "His wounds had weakened him over the months, and it was obvious who would be the winner."

Agni frowned at the implication.

Wordlessly, Rak called out his arms inventory which held a familiar looking spear that shouldn't have been in his possession at this point in time. Agni would recognize that design anywhere, "...Mad shocker."

"He said he wanted to test me, and he gave me this." Rak glared at the spear as if it was responsible for his misfortune. "And later told me that I should be proud, for only a true hunter was allowed to defeat him."

Agni felt his throat going dry, and gulped. "He died, didn't he?"

Rak's eyes sharpened. Whether it was in regret or anger, Agni couldn't tell. "I killed him." 

Agni didn't know what to feel about that. On one hand, he could empathize with how much pain Rak must've felt from the injury, especially with the lack of proper treatment that could cure or even just lessen the pain. But on the other hand, it meant that his Rak was truly gone, in such a way, and he still couldn't wrap his head around it.

Rak put his pipe back to invisible mode, like looking at it had brought him so much grief. "I've never used that spear since."

The silence stretched, with only the loud noises coming from the training ground to fill it. Agni wasn't sure how to reply to that without being overly friendly nor physical, and he definitely wouldn't do that to Rak, who only met him today.

Sitting beside Rak like this reminded him of their chat before the workshop battle, on the balcony. It was when Rak truly let him see his buried feelings, his desire to climb the tower together with him and Grace. And with that, the grief finally started to dawn on him. The scar on his face felt itchy and his hand was already clawing at his mask before he registered the motion. He sighed and put his hand back on his knee, pushing the tangled feeling to the back of his mind to be dealt with later. And since the silence had stretched out for too long, he asked; "What was he to you?"

"A rival," Rak looked thoughtful before adding, "and family."

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[crimmsonflower]

shoutout to the writer of my favourite lawlight fic to ever exist

killing my self because I forgot to save it and they deleted the fic

[accirax]

On my fetch quest to retrieve Xander's assigned color from the DRDT Demo Video, I noticed something interesting-- where everybody stands in the Class Trial totally changed between the demo video and now???

Here's where everybody stood in the Class Trial during the demo:

(ignore the colors, they have no meaning) And here's where everybody canonically stands:

Like I said, almost completely different. Here are a couple of my observations that I thought were most interesting:

Teruko and Eden are the only characters who stayed in the same location. Teruko always stood in front of MonoTV, and Eden was always to her right.

Arei and Hu always stood next to each other.

Veronika and Levi always stood next to each other, although they flipped which order they were standing in.

Originally, Xander was in the position opposite the circle from Teruko. Now, that's where David stands.

I have no idea what any of this might mean, and it might be completely arbitrary. Still, it's interesting what might have been going through the creator's head when they originally chose the demo placements, and then when those placements changed.

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Despair The truth ∞ SPN 15X18

Spanish Version.

[crosbyism]

Iirc sidgeno isn't your area of expertise but I just read "like a flashback" by ibear and thought of your current Sid masculinity kink musings. Basically it's a "what if Sid's gay awakening was shitty 70s porn and now he likes shitty mustaches a bit too much"

anon i know you did not intend to be, but this ask is hilarious. reading “isn’t your area of expertise” was like getting suplexed by a professional wrestler. i’m losing it. my baby. my baby girl. my baby boy. my baby baby. however your gender babies. i got my hrpf fandom undergrad in sidgeno. i was in the trenches. i’ve written sidgeno. for the exchange, even. i’ve read almost the entire sidgeno tag top to bottom. this is like telling steve yzerman “i know you don’t know much about wayne gretzky, having been on the red wings”. i’m crying

however i love that apparently it’s not clear that i’m a fandom old. this is so funny. imagine saying this to someone who’s been on hockeyblr and specifically pensblr for almost a decade. i was reading sidgeno before tk/nolpat existed. god. wow

sorry, sorry, to get back to your actual question. yes i’ve read iBear. was very into iBear for a while. it’s a fun fic. it’s definitely been a while since i’ve read it, wasn’t on my mind when the topic came up in my asks, but it’s very fitting for the recent masc kink discussions on this blog for sure (the characterisations aren’t really my jam any more, but tbf that was in the spacetoaster era of sidgeno). my iBear favourites were actually The State of Marriage and I Like The Way I Smell On You, (aside from a very specific one which was orphaned, iykyk, i’ve just been around long enough to remember when it wasn’t. lol), which i recommend reading if you haven’t yet and you’re in the process of reading your way through their catalogue

[le-agent-egg]

Sorry i gotta yap for a second. Why do Leon and Kanon have different last names if their dads are brothers.

Like it says in their wikis that Leon’s dad is Kanon’s dad’s older brother. So like. Why do they have different last names? The only explanations i can think of is that, either they had different last names at birth, either Leon or Kanon has their mom’s last name, or one of them has two dads (though i think this is the least likely since their parents were probably married in the late 80s or early 90s, and same sex marriage wasn’t legal back then like. Anywhere.)

This is my personal headcanon: their dads have the same last name, but Kanon has her mom’s last name, since she didn’t take her husband’s last name; Leon’s mom took her husband’s last name, which basically means Leon has no other option for a last name lmao

ALSO. MORE YAP ALERT TIME.

What’s Leon’s natural hair colour? Because it is said that he dyes it (side note why would you willingly dye your hair ginger-)

Here’s what I think: Leon is a natural blonde (womp womp) and I think this for a couple reasons. First off his beta design is blonde which I feel like would be a coolio reference. BUT SECOND. GET READY CAUSE IM GOING FULL ON BIO TEACHER ON YOU.

Kanon, while her wiki page says she has chestnut brown hair (bullshit look at her) probably has blonde hair. It looks like a really really pale blonde. Which means that her parents at least need to have one dominant gene and one recessive gene each (since blonde hair is a recessive trait) if we assume Kanon’s dad is blonde, which makes him recessive/recessive, that means that it’s probably likely that his parents (L and K’s paternal grandparents) at least have one blonde person, since getting recessive/recessive out of two dominant/recessive is pretty unlikely. This means that it’s very much possible for Leon’s dad to also have that recessive/recessive or dominant/recessive gene for hair. If we assume that Leon’s mom has at least one recessive allele, that means Leon could very well be blonde. Additionally it’s implied he does have decent genetics in terms of hair because yada yada constantly grows out - if he’s bleaching AND dyeing that shit there’s no way is it still fluffy and nice and grows out well and fast.

TO MAKE A VERY LONG STORY SHORT VIA THE DIAGRAM AGAIN:

Just for a little reference for myself, this is how i personally draw them (with genetic bullet points!!)

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[spittyfishy]

I don’t think I actually posted about this here before, but a few months back my mum very excitedly told me she’d found a figure of ‘one of your little danganronpa guys’, and then presented me with a Mad Eyed Moody funko pop, which she’d thought was Fuyuhiko.

So I took it upon myself to turn her mistake into reality!

Tada!