#my teen self would be REPULSED by what i have become

[dragonanon]

Me at 13: Ew! I HATE girly shit! Who cares about smelling nice and looking like a model??

Me now at 24: Holy shit this body butter makes me smell like a key lime pie, and this magic stick can HIDE my acne?? Sign me tf up!!

[understandingbimbos]

Ashtens Empire, who first gained recognition as a Kim Kardashian look-alike, has passed away from complications with surgery. First reported April 22nd, 2023 at 6:13 PM EST by a user in her thread on theperfectboobs.net and confirmed about an hour later in a tweet from Nicolette Shea. She was 28 years old.

Earlier this month she had given a brief interview about her career and plans for the future:

I didn't follow Ashten as closely as I did Kristyna Martelli but as inevitable as it was I had hoped something like this would never happen again. It takes me back to the incident that happened on Twitter, when I was accused of harming women by encouraging bimbofication. Even though that's not true it's a thought that hasn't left my mind since. I don't feel guilty for enjoying the look of plastic surgery, especially when its not something I'm personally pushing or funding but when considering the risks and results its something difficult to not at least be conflicted with. We don't know for sure it was a cosmetic procedure that killed Ashten, really we know very little about her or what happened, I couldn't even find her real full name for this post. And, cynically, I think some people are okay with that. It seems to come with the territory.

Bimbofication is a fetish that's so difficult to grapple because there's almost inherent ties to objectification and submission. And seemingly that leads to a sort of callousness that may be normal but I find difficult to accept. You could argue for a lot of these women this was their life's work, that they died as they lived, in the throes of self-sexualization but the idea of objectifying someone even in and after death makes me feel sick. I can't help but feel it cruel. A young woman is gone, someone's fiance, daughter, friend. But some time later down the line I'm sure I'll see a video or pictures of her used again as fodder for cheap ejaculate as if she were AI generated and not a real living person that meant something to someone. And that depresses me. It seems so meaningless too because, won't my hypocrisy prevail? I've admitted before that the dehumanization that this fetish requires arouses me but its repulsive too. Repulsive and repugnant.

My blog isn't really geared towards to those interested in becoming bimbos but I see a lot of them in my notes because we're all under the same fetish umbrella, and there's probably more of them left on tumblr than artists and writers. To you all, I just want to emphasize, please be safe. You don't need that much to be a bimbo. Chloe Cherry managed it well with mostly just lip fillers and a change in makeup. Of course, I'm sure most of my followers aren't thin blonde white girls, but one think I begrudgingly have to admit Chrissy Chlapecka and the TikTok teens got right is the idea of bimbo personal expression, which I've been meaning to make a post on. Yes, being bimbo is more than just wearing pink and trying to be "y2kcore", but you actually really don't need huge fake tits so big you'll knock someone over! And you don't need to be super duper skinny with the waspiest waist ever. You don't need to be blonde or have pale skin either, please feel free to still be yourself!

All that being said, I hope Ashten is at peace now. Or in a better place. Wherever she may be, I think its important to remember that she was. It always makes me feel a sort of emptiness when I go to a currently active bimbo page and I see them reposting pictures of people who have long since left the bimbo life behind or their identities have been long since forgotten, their pictures having been subsumed into the internet as a whole. I just think we should value individuals over tits.

[fvriva]

🐖 for 099! What is that Test tube baby up to...

putting this under a readmore because I have 3 whole guys I'm working on at once lol

send me an oc + an emoji (or order the WHOLE HOG)

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

When I was going through and filing off the serial numbers for IAE, I really wanted to try and edgy number name for this test tube baby. Stranger Things was really big at the time so that's where my head was at for 099. As for the number itself I was also really into B99 at the time. I also have a name for them after they escape the lab and start to have their own life, officially speaking, it's Rose, but I'm not married to it. I just want something nature themed that fits.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Given their self-propogation, abandonment, and regeneration history that's a very sticky question. They seem like they're in their late teens though.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

One so far, their rescuer, Orpheus Alabaster.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

They've never eaten food in the traditional sense (outside of the nutritious slurry they grew up in, and the decomposing bodies part of it) but they would probably really enjoy a very crisp sweet onion bitten into directly.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

They're a lab rat and a horribly traumatized one at that. They're teetering on becoming a supervillain honestly.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Not really within the slurry. Swimming around, harvesting protein, just kind of the same degree of stimulation of a shark in a poorly-run aquarium. Once they get out, though, they'd fall in love with the world. I could see them keeping a little garden.

🎯 -What do they do best?

They don't really have any skills outside of their natural ability to heal. I suppose in a dark sort of way they also cope with boredom shockingly well.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Once out, they love to walk around and see new places. They'd especially love going to zoos, botanical gardens, and museums, even though they can't read the plaques.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Once out, Orpheus comes back for them and after they're stable enough to be out in public (it'll takes a while), he puts them in their chair and they both go to a little restaurant with a beautiful little terrace and view of the city.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Back when they were still in the tank, Orpheus stole a ship to try and go get help, but something went wrong with the launch, and they didn't fully comprehend what it was he was doing, so from their perspective the first face they'd seen in their entire life had for all intents and purposes died as he was trying to leave them.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Nope! Once again, the serial numbers were filed off. The main changes have been to their hair and outfit; their hair used to be short and brown, and their suit and more swimsuit-like than their current wetsuit look.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Mostly Stranger Things, honestly, but the original thing to inspire this OC was me trying to create a universe in which [Fictional Character A] and [Fictional Character B] were destined to meet in every universe, but [B] was destined to die. This was an intended reversal where [A] was the doomed one. As for who A and B were originally, well, if you know you know.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Hard scifi but they kind of lend themself to a short story format.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Agender but eventually they'll start to become a little more genderfluid as they start to see what's out there. They're pretty touch-repulsed so that's a no to sex.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

Do clones count as siblings? Especially if you were the only one to survive, and you've never known them personally? In which case, 98 siblings.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

The scientists in charge of 099's cloning project were absent for the entirety of their life. The parents of the original child that 099 is a distant clone of (Eurydice) are also dead.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Honestly it's 75% the angst and 25% the prospect of healing for 099. I also have machinations where they're a series antagonist for IAE that I'm hoping will come to fruition, eventually.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

I've been drawing them more recently! I got into an art show with an illustration of them. I don't really write for them though because frankly they're very strong as just a fucked up set of given circumstances.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I don't think I'd be able to.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Claustrophobia and fear of abandonment, especially once Orpheus enters their life. Once they're out, they probably would also not be all that fond of large pools of water.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

They don't really have one. They're kind of their worst enemy honestly because they're just not doing well.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

The timestamps on my oldest artworks of them are from 2017.... Jesus. That's almost 7 full years.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

16 years old!

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/16/2022: GRIMCUTTY

N.B. This review is very spoilery.

***

I love internet scare movies. I watch them all. It makes no difference to me whether they're as sophisticated as Kiyoshi Kurasawa's PULSE, as ludicrous as FEAR DOT COM, or as repulsive and pretentious as David Schwimmer's TRUST; expressions of paranoia about the interweb are invariably interesting to me, and often funny. Part of the problem is just the basic unfilmability of the online experience—it almost always comes off as silly unless it's as worked up as THE MATRIX. But the luddite hysteria that underwrites so many of these movies always brings to mind the backwards farmers in GLEN OR GLENDA who gravely warn, "If God had wanted us to fly, he'd have given us wings!" Truthfully, I do believe there are problems with social media and being chronically online, but my level of caution is nowhere near that which is evoked by the absolutely hilarious 2013 Canadian TV show Darknet, which I found utterly fascinating in its fantastical fearmongering. As a fairly online person myself, maybe there is something comforting about the outrage expressed by many of these productions, that is so hyperbolic as to be totally unreal.

I didn't mention Tate Moore (left) in this review because I just wasn't being that thorough, but she's really excellent and I hope she makes more horror movies.

GRIMCUTTY is satisfying to me because ultimately, it isn't really about what happens online—and it specifically does not accuse young people of being brainwashed, overstimulated potential victimizers and victims. Writer-director John Ross's movie clearly references Slender Man-style phenomena in which a meme metamorphoses into a real life threat, but his film is ultimately about parenting, and specifically about the dangers posed by not trusting one's children. Sara Wolfkind plays Asha, a teenager who sparks her parents' ire when she drops out of the track team. Although Asha is just not as interested in sports as her parents think she should be, they blame her choice on internet addiction, and begin implementing increasingly strict rules about device use and screen time. Unfortunately, this conflict corresponds with the growing popularity of a dark online game in which a monstrous entity called Grimcutty coerces kids into self-harm and violence against their parents. Grimcutty is real, but the gag is that it is actually feeding on the paranoia of controlling adults, and faith in it is spread not through antisocial web forums, but by a psychotic mommy blogger who is poisoning the minds of very online parents.

Asha's parents are played by the extremely funny Usman Ally in a great horror turn, and my secret girlfriend Shannyn Sossamon. Amusingly, Sossamon is in a 2005 internet scare movie called DEVOUR, in which a gang of misfit teens get hooked on an online game where they receive threatening phone calls from their own future selves that command them to do bad things. It's hard to describe because it's hard to understand, but it is an early reflection of meme-y internet challenges like the Blue Whale game, which is said to have driven young participants to suicide. GRIMCUTTY seems to refer most directly to the Momo challenge, which grew out of a decontextualized image of a sculpture by Keisuke Aiso, resembling an extremely scary chicken lady. This game takes the format of Blue Whale in that players are given increasingly dangerous dares that culminate in suicide. Of course, it's hard to parse the hoaxes and hype from the real damage done in at least some cases by these challenges, but an even bigger matter of curiosity is, why would anyone agree to participate in one of these games? The adults in GRIMCUTTY blithely remark that kids will do literally anything that becomes trendy, and it is exactly this condescending attitude that contributes to the ensuing horror.

The point there is salient: GRIMCUTTY becomes real not because kids are assholes, but because parents are willing to believe the worst about their own children. Oddly, the movie currently has its own entry on knowyourmeme.com, which the site notes is still being researched and evaluated. One of the pieces of information collected there is a negative review from Mashable that laments the movie's inability to "discover even deeper horrors within the depths of online culture." I think this completely misses the point of the movie, and I suspect maybe a lot of viewers are missing the point in a similar way. This is not about teen lemming mentality, nor is it about the dark bowels of the internet into which we should go only by the grace of god. It's about the threat young people face of being dehumanized and disempowered by adults who can't let them participate in the authorship of their own narratives. I'm not lauding it as a new masterpiece, but having seen a lot of movies in this subgenre, I can say that GRIMCUTTY takes an approach I find very refreshing.

[somerpmemes]

The Owl House Starters

Change as needed

“No! My only weakness! Dying!”

“That doesn’t count, right?”

“Do you have any friends? Real ones?”

“Tiny trash thief!”

“Oops, that happens sometimes.”

“I’m a squirmy little fella.”

“I like food, I like love, just let me write about it!”

“Oh, he gets so cute when he’s thirsty for power.”

“I’ve never actually broken any of your stupid laws… in front of you.”

“I hate everything you’re saying right now.”

“We’d be the strongest power couple ever.”

“Self-doubt is a prison you can never escape from.”

“Anyways, let’s bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.”

“I am not your cutie pie!”

“No one wants an un-oiled snake.”

“Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.”

“Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril!”

“I know I’ve had enough delight for one day.”

“Sorry to break it to you, ___, but no one here is that well-dressed.”

“This has been a rough day.”

“Big houses always belong to big whack jobs.”

“Today just got good.”

“Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.”

“Anyways, your food is gone and we are too.”

“Never trust a man in casual drapery.”

“All that mean-spirited laughter made me sleepy.”

“I don’t like this. I really don’t like this.”

“All your food was so tiny and cute.”

“If you can think of a better plan I’d love to hear it.”

“Betrayed by my own cool accessories.”

“I didn’t have to be part of this!”

“I… don’t like this.”

“I think I’ll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still… alive.”

“Wow, you’re so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.”

“It’s okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.”

“Alright, into the darkness you go.”

“Oh my god, I haven’t eaten real food in so long please give me some.”

“You can’t just cut open a human, can you?”

“Keeping junk in my pocket saved my life!”

“Ahh, baby’s first wanted poster.”

“Even demons have inner demons.”

“This is my paying attention face.”

“Look, now we’re boo boo buddies.”

“It’s like a rainbow, but looking at it turns you inside out.”

“I respect your cunning but I also hate you for it.”

“Oh, gross. Can I keep that?”

“This is terrifying, so why do you look so happy?”

“Oh no, a twist!”

“I’m kind of over that nickname, but okay.”

“Oh, what lovely thing do we have here? It’s just so dang shiny, oh my.”

“And look, I drew flip book.”

“I will literally do anything to stop this.”

“If I’m seen, I could go to jail… again.”

“Alright, let’s see this mess.”

“That’s probably fine.”

“Time to prepare for bloodshed.”

“Welcome down to my level!”

“I know I should be repulsed but that look is fierce.”

“I’m gonna steal everything that’s not nailed down!”

“I was up all night poison tasting and, for some reason, I don’t feel great.”

“I need an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets. And an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket.”

“I got leaves in my pants. And I like it.”

“I was a strange child.”

“You think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles.”

“If you’re gonna eat me, just do it now!”

“___, you’re getting all swoony again.”

“Rivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended.”

“Witches eating babies is so 1693.”

“Ugh, you.”

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

“Whoa, I almost passed out.”

“It’s been hours, how can it keep screaming!?”

“Say that again and I steal your tongue.”

“Keep going, this is fun to watch.”

“Isn’t that taking it a bit too far?”

“Just go away before things somehow get worse!”

“This never happened.”

“And who doesn’t like their name in lights?”

“That’s the incorrect reaction!”

“I smell an easy mark.”

“Well, I hate her.”

“It’s like demonic possession with the ones you love.”

“This is just like my favorite early 2000’s movie!”

“I’m so old… and pointy.”

“I’ve got some very confusing emotions right now.”

“My life’s not a joke! But yours is!”

“Novelty costumes are where I draw the line.”

“I am not above disrespecting my elders.”

“This vacation just took an alarming, back-alley turn.”

“Geez, I thought I’d like being babied. But I feel small and helpless, like some sort of baby.”

“Hey, take this, society!”

“I didn’t like her telling me what to do before, but now I love it!”

“Let’s go let out some teen angst!”

“This is how the cool kids ride. Super backwards, on purpose.”

“Your life is pretty terrible. But, hey, it’ll probably be over soon.”

“This is some of my best work, really captures the shame.”

“That’s sweet, kid. Now let’s never speak of this again.”

“Show, don’t tell, man.”

“Oh, look what you did. I’m gonna go rub it in.”

“That seems like a potential problem to me.”

“You being the razzle, I’ll bring the dazzle.”

“Do you always have confetti on you or—?”

“You’re just gonna be unhelpful, huh?”

“Okay, time to run for no particular reason!”

“Oof, I’ve had this nightmare before.”

“Like I’d actually apologize.”

“I want power, and I want drama.”

“Are you ready to give up?”

“I was afraid, I acted stupid.”

“I just wish you told me the truth.”

“You know, it didn’t taste as bad as I thought I would.”

“Impressive, still alive.”

“This is a throne worthy of a tyrant!”

“No, no, keep those sticky hands away.”

“No one wants to see that.”

“Since when are you into sports?”

“Gross, sympathy.”

“Don’t spend all night plotting revenge.”

“Oh, this is an interesting development.”

“I’ll take that weird grumble as a yes.”

“I’m feeling confident about this plan.”

“Trust must be earned.”

“If you run, you’ll just make it harder for yourself!”

“Your pride has destroyed you.”

“So tiny, so angry.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be clean again.”

“If you ever want to search for the truth, I’ll help you.”

“Aww, that’s a horrible lie.”

“Partake of my free snack samples!”

“Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?”

“A, eww. B, I’m bored. C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.”

“I know my good angle.”

“Ugh, what are the basement dwellers doing out in natural sunlight?’

“Hey, there’s more to life than shipping.”

“___, I know you’re trying to help, but I think you’re crossing a line.”

“Ooh, I love punching.”

“You’re ominous, and I like it.”

“And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.”

“I wanted to compare sunglasses.”

“Fame can really box you in, you know?”

“Besides, if anyone’s putting you down it’s gonna be me.”

“If it’s disappointing in any way I’ll spend the rest of my life trashing it.”

“He scammed us. Can you believe he scammed us?”

“Good entrance. But that outfit? Hah!”

“I’ve got a new crush and her name is education!”

“Ahh, fresh garbage.”

“I have never seen such an extravagant earring.”

“Wow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment. When will it be ruined?”

“Weaponizing my pride, well played.”

“Sorry, whoever’s over there!”

“Well, go on. Eat the snow.”

“Huh, it’s no fun if they don’t tremble.”

“Oh, okay, alright. Yup, an idea’s happening.”

“Shh! I don’t need your validation!”

“Get back here before that thing bites you!”

“No, we’re gonna die.”

“Cool. I didn’t actually think you could do it.”

“It’s not a secret.”

“Alright, your adorable banter is literally making me sick.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve seen worse.”

“Aww. I won’t be doing that, but thanks.”

“Quitting: it’s like trying, but easier.”

“You humans are filled with liquids, right?”

“I guess I have always liked pouring things into other things.”

“Time to scrounge through the trash.”

“I ain’t no desk jockey.”

“You don’t know diddly dang about squiddly squat!”

“I love secret rooms!”

“You have an aura of lies.”

“Also, you can eat trash.”

“Do the right thing, you dingus!”

“It just goes on like this for an hour.”

“Carnivals bring crowds and crowds bring suckers.”

“We’ve got scams to run.”

“I know poison when I see it.”

“You can’t scam a scammer.”

“You should really put a lock on your closet.”

“I love crimes!”

“Now this is my kind of weird.”

“That’s way safer than becoming blood brothers.”

“Beat up the man and steal his things for me.”

“This mama is ready for trauma.”

“All right. Approval!”

“Curse these stubby legs!”

“Sketchy carnival rides are not to blame this time.”

“___, you’re lucky I can’t be mad at your adorable antics.”

“Just when I thought I couldn’t respect the law any less…”

“Aww, what a supportive sign.”

“Yep, I just counted to one million.”

“Looks like we ruined his life for a second time.”

“I’ve always wanted to own a jagged piece of cheap metal.”

“Yes! Bread puns, bread puns forever!”

“Now I know what friendship tastes like.”

“I think today is a talons day.”

“It’s fun because it’s stupid.”

“I’ll admit, I was adorable.”

“Be careful with my brain.”

“Wouldn’t you rather talk about it?”

“That’s my motto after all, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’”

“No schemes, no plots, no ruses. None.”

“I can’t believe I made him cry.”

“Are you solving a crime or about to commit one?”

“Sadly this is one problem crime can’t solve.”

“I’m supposed to choose someone interesting, accomplished, and noteworthy. People aren’t meant to be all those things!”

“Yup, her brain’s burned up real good.”

“Be still my fantasy-loving heart.”

“I’m pretty good at getting stuck inside people’s heads.”

“Hey, I found something magical.”

“I’ma put my face in it.”

“It’s like a little doghouse for angels.”

“If you’re handing out attention, I deserve it.”

“Eww, I mean, aww.”

“I really messed things up.”

“It’s eggs, it’s full of eggs.”

“No one turns down an interview with someone this pretty.”

“Me? Avoid? What? No. But let’s skip it.”

“There’s levels to me, kid. Levels I say!”

“Oh, right, I put people in there.”

“I’m gonna hug you so hard you’ll never forget me again!”

“I regret teaching you about the internet.”

“Ah, a severed hand. Perfect response.”

“Hmm, the demon at my shoulder makes a good point.”

“Always trust a shoulder demon.”

“The more I look at him, the more uncomfortable I get.”

“Man, you’ve got some quick grabbers.”

“I can’t wait to get overdressed, take awkward photos, push all the buttons!”

“We’re gonna turn this bloodbath into a fun bath.”

“Do you think I could pull off red eyeshadow?”

“Girl, you could pull off anything.”

“We’re style geniuses!”

“Ominous footsteps, creepy woods, this is no problem.”

“Dang, I look great.”

“___, you always go overboard and I end up bailing you out.”

“Now, what’s the fun in watching a kid get eaten by a monster if it’s my kid?”

“___, I don’t think you’re ready but we’re literally out of time.”

“Why so twitchy, witchy?”

“Teenagers are brutal. They’ll boo anyone and that kind of public humiliation will stick with you for life.”

“You look nice. Strange, but nice.”

“Honestly, I’m kind of amazed with how fearless you are.”

“You’ve done things I could never do.”

“Thing is, you’re sitting in my personal chitchat zone, which means you gotta talk.”

“I am a little weirdo.”

“You gotta pander.”

“Cheating a isn’t anything to brag about.”

“Well, can’t reason with crazy!”

“I’ve been talking for too long.”

“Feeling sentimental?”

“I love water.”

“I don’t know much about sports but I do know about sports movies.”

“What happens in the montage stays in the montage.”

“Not everything can be solved with a good attitude and a dope movie soundtrack.”

“Sorry, I just really love backstories.”

“You just destroyed your social life.”

“That’s such a stupid rule!”

“You’re not gonna show this to anyone, right?”

“I haven’t forgotten what you promised me.”

“Ahh, you’re a thorn in my side but you always dig your way into my heart.”

“Jeez, you’re morbid.”

“Ahh, it’s a fate much worse than death if you think about it.”

“Please don’t make me regret taking you here.”

“Love me a properly ventilated castle.”

“I spy with my little eye something coming this way!”

“I’m going away and I don’t know if I can come back this time.”

“And  ___, thank you, for being in my life.”

“I want her back as much as you do.”

“Don’t look at me like that, this is for your own good.”

“Ah farts, I got caught.”

“You understand, don’t you?”

“Please tell me that’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“To be great, you have to make sacrifices.”

“Ahh, ___, you chose the wrong side.”

“I like your spirit, but try that again and things won’t end well for you.”

“Go on, then. Go be a hero.”

“I may have lost but so have you.”

“I can teach you what I know, and what we don’t know we can learn together.”

[tomatograter]

whats your opinions on jake being portrayed as arospec or acespec and gay? do you think it would make sense if he was acespec or arospec or no? it definitely makes sense that hes gay

Personally (and it's important that this starting disclaimer exists) *I* don't portray Jake as being in the aro/ace spectrum. That's Me. It's not a subject i enjoy debating about because it feels unfocused.

This is for a variety of reasons I consider important, the biggest one being that Jake is a sexual assault survivor — this is not something that has happened to "a" Jake, it is an intrinsic part of his story be it on the beta earth or on the game over timeline or in the alpha earth or in the epilogues; it's a recurrent constant. And he responds to it badly, always.

Jake's ambivalence towards being worthy of a relationship, immediate repulsion to any sort of contact, attempts at self-isolation, and subsequent hypersexuality after being harassed and threatened with sexual assault by jane are... really eerily accurate to my own experiences and survivors i know. When he decides to perform as an adult he overdoes it: he does things he's not exactly proud of and that contribute to a manufactured image the public has of him, but it's not because he's disinterested, it's because he's traumatized. He's trying to prove that he's "gotten better". I identified within the spectrum as a teen, but the label only worked insofar as I had my own points of contention to work through and being in any sort of relationship, for a period of my life, was untenable. It was easier to find a label that would help me not think about it anymore and mark every potential risk down as 'unavailable'.

The average sexual assault victim in media gets one of two treatments. First being the inspiration porn, as in "here to make the protagonist feel less shitty about their life because other people have it worse!", and second being The Tragedy That Dies At The End. The first is often coupled with said character conveniently disappearing after their usefulness to the plot or protagonist is exhausted, a friendly figure walking off alone into the mist with a placid smile, and the second just dies. Neither is considered fit for romance, and the nebulous concept of happy ending seems to exist inside this desexed, saintly, sterilized, and 90% of the time bubblewrapped future where they become a monk or something. As if that's the only way they'll get "fixed" aside from death.

If they had a baby from the assault, sometimes, they get to keep it. Never remarry though!

(There's a minor blessing spared to victims that also happen to be protagonists, in which they get to go on a cinematic revengequest, but I consider that a different subject in how people tend to portray "functional" survivors altogether. The Protagonist with some hidden dark secret is still the Protagonist. The victim is defined by being the victim.)

Conversations about aro/ace Jake tend to frame it as an innate truth he's always been aware of, while also pointedly not touching on the big awkward trauma sitting in the middle of the room. I've read about it and seen how it gets portrayed in other fanworks, but i don't think it works for me. Jake's self-hatred and victim blaming is upped to 110 in the conversation that often gets cited as proof that he's aromantic, but that's in the same log where he says 'maybe hes not worth of anyone's time ever, and maybe he shouldn't inconvenience anyone ever again, and maybe he did something to provoke or deserve all of this, so really everyone would be much happier if he moved into the woods, bleeped off the radar, and never had a chance to ruin their lives again' so idk. It never felt comfortable to me to ignore the context it's in, what it was motivated by, and same with the post-trickster logs, where he's still jealous over dirk after saying Maybe He's Just Broken for not getting what roxy or jane feel when they go to dubious extremes in the name of "love".

"Nonrom sansplat" in on itself is a bit of an awkward punitive joke, like, he's announcing hes not even worthy of having platonic friends. What the hell!

And Jake does want to have friends, and he does want to date somebody, and multiple times throughout the story we see he's romantically interested in dirk in a way that is not reciprocated once the subject of the sentence is switched to jane or aranea or even roxy, but he clearly does feel upset when that is taken away from him, so for me it seems clear enough.

Second reason being, Jake tends to get infantilized pretty hard. Its uncomfortable to see the overlaying composite of people recognizing ND/Autistic traits in him and exclaiming he's unfit for a relationship because "he can't handle it", or is "too dumb for it", while also knowing a lot of his issues stem from trying to make his friends not leave him and have other people recognize him as a full person (or as a grown adult, in the case of the epilogues).

In sum; I think Jake has a complex identity, but to me its core is defined by how he fails to perform masculinity in every traditional sense, the harm that is brought to him because of that (and lets be honest, most of the incidents are framed as "corretive", beta jake's specifically because he fell for a man, etc), how he has to deal with it afterwards, and slowly learn how to heal without further harming himself.

[whumpster-fire]

Something I haven’t really seen talked about in the His Dark Materials fandom (for all the like 2-1/2 weeks I’ve been here) but I think would definitely be a thing is Pre-Settling Anxiety.

Like, that story that sailor tells Lyra about the guy whose daemon settled as a dolphin and was never able to go ashore at all, and how he just more or less goes “Well if your daemon settles in a form you don’t like that sucks, but that’s life deal with it?” Lyra and Pan didn’t pay it that much mind because (a) they’re pretty darn resilient kids, and (b) they had a lot more immediate things occupying their minds.

But seriously... imagining pre-teen me, growing up in a world with daemons, Jesus Christ hearing shit like that would have traumatized me, and any living manifestation of my fucking soul would have been traumatized by that too, and I doubt I’d have been anywhere near the only one.

Because... I mean I’m still like this now but I’ve gotten better about it as an adult: when I was a kid I was not someone who just accepted that things were the way they were, I was someone who hyperfixated and worried. And not just about big stuff like climate change and politics and smaller but still out of my control shit like health issues and bad things happening to my family. I was scared of growing up, and not just in the sense of not wanting to have adult responsibilities and all that.

I remember, not so much when I was actually going through puberty (by then I was just depressed), but I remember in the years before, when I was being told that I would be changing soon, and of course not in a way that acknowledged that asexuality wasn’t just something you grew out of, and being exposed to the American media landscape of, like, old “teen” movies and other that portrayed puberty and adult sexuality in a really twisted, hypersexualized way that I don’t think was even accurate for the vast majority of allosexual people, I was afraid and repulsed. And not even in a Mrs. Coulter way: I was afraid on a deep, existential level that growing up would destroy the person who I was and I would become someone I didn’t like, someone I wasn’t comfortable with.

And growing up with a daemon would have made that so much worse, because then it wouldn’t have just been a fear of losing my identity and being unhappy with who I was, it would have been a fear of being unhappy with the one being I wasn’t unhappy with half the time, the one being who actually truly understood me and that I could always trust, and it’s not that humans and their daemons can’t argue or fight or be angry at each other - and God knows we probably would - but I think we’d have been the pair who had screaming matches and threaten each other’s lives knowing damn well what that meant, but could never stay angry at each other because the idea of losing that bond, of having it damaged, would be too terrifying.

So the idea of my daemon settling as a form that damaged that bond, that pushed us apart or limited us, would be such a huge source of anxiety. And that fear of becoming something I didn’t like, of not knowing and not being able to choose and not being able to control my self, is such a deep-seated part of me that I don’t believe for a second that my daemon wouldn’t be the same way.

We wouldn’t be like Jerry the sailor and Belisaria, who loved being a porpoise while her human worried about her settling that way, or like Lyra and Pantalaimon who kind of brushed it off and didn’t think about it. A being that was my soul given form would have to be just as much of a bag of nerves and insecurities as I was, and might never take a form like that again after hearing the dolphin story because we have the kind of personality that couldn’t not think about all the implications of being settled in a form, and what that meant losing. We’d be the sort to read an article or see a documentary about a daemon settling as a form that completely limited their lives, and the fear of changing and not being able to change back, of getting stuck like that, would always be at the back of both our minds. Because it doesn’t seem like daemons truly understand it either, and that would be scary.

And as we got older it would just get worse, because we’d be close and it could happen at any moment so taking a form she wouldn’t be okay with spending the rest of her life as, and that I wouldn’t be okay with her spending the rest of her life as, would be so risky. We’d be up until 2 AM making charts on spiral notebook paper and reading about animals on Wikipedia to try and feel some kind of control over it, and she’d just keep taking fewer and fewer forms.

Nothing aquatic because water is fun but being bound to it is obviously bad. No invertebrates because they’re so cool and different but they can’t feel things in quite the same way. No cold-blooded animals because what if she could never change into something with fur or feathers on a cold day again? Nothing too small that would have to be carried all the time in public, but definitely nothing too big to be carried at all because the fear of someone touching her by accident, kicking her or stepping on her or running into her in a crowd or being trapped and forced away from each other by a wall of oblivious human flesh. How could a wolf or a mountain lion daemon ever feel safe in a city? But nothing too small to defend itself from large daemons because other people are dangerous and anyone could be a threat. But no large birds that need to perch and their humans have to wear arm bracers or shoulder pads so they don’t hurt them and can’t just sit on their laps, and then no birds at all because being able to fly makes having to stay close together feel limiting since the tops of buildings are still out of reach and what’s the point of flying if you can’t go high?

And because of that fear of settling in the wrong form, the number of forms that were okay, that were safe to take, would just keep getting smaller and smaller, until one day we’d notice that she hadn’t changed for weeks, and we’d just be like...

Oh.

It’s already happened.

And then it’d probably be such a fucking relief just knowing it was okay and it couldn’t go wrong anymore. Occasional nightmares about just turning into an animal neither of us even liked completely against her will that wouldn’t stop until like halfway through college aside.

So yeah, I hope this is relatable to somebody out here in this community because seriously I think the uncertainty around settling would be a major source of anxiety for a lot of kids and a lot of daemons.

[angelsunflowers-fanfics]

Requests as of October 2020

So, first things first everyone, I’d thought that I would let all 119 of my followers know that I am still writing these fics, and I have been writing much more as of recent than I have this entire year. And I my inbox is still very much open and if you guys don’t know the rules for requesting please go to my prompt list that you can find on literally every single fic. 

and Second, I’m posting the names and summaries of all the things I’m writing at the moment. And please remember than commenting and talking to authors is amazing for motivation and Don’t forget to reblog! <3

You are allowed to request smuts if you so choose to. I am an asexual virg, but I am comfortabel to smut and the good ol’ Devil’s tango. I am not repulsed by it to be blunt about the topic. I have at least 3 smuts on this list that I can think about. So go ahead if you’ve been waiting to request. <3

6teen

Jonesy Garcia x Female!Goth!reader: Jonesy and the reader are in the gray area of their relationship between friendship and relationship and end up making out in a closet 

Avatar: the last airbender

Sokka x Male!reader: Sokka thought that the fire nation killed the reader is very relieved to see that wasn’t the case and celebrates with a steamy night alone with his lover (Yes, this is a smut)

Sokka x reader: Sokka cuddles up next to the reader very early in the morning after a nightmare

Adult!Toph x Adult!Female!Clumsy!reader: Toph is practicing and the reader tries to sneak up on her but fails of course due to her own clumsiness.

Zuko x Earthbender!reader: Zuko says something hurtful to the reader and tries to make up for it.

Injured!Zuko x reader: Zuko gets injured as the blue spirit and finds himself in a inn being healed by a kind stranger

Bioshock

Rosalind Lutece x reader: Rosalind finally realizes that she’s in love with the reader, her assistant

Boku No Hero Academia

Katsuki Bakugou x Quirkless!reader: The reader develops their quirk 10 years late and bakugou is surprised by his childhood friend’s new ability 

Borderlands (2, pre-squel, Tales from the borderlands, 3)

Fl4k x Female!Short!reader x Zer0:The reader is being a brat towards Zer0 and Fl4k and they both snap and ask her what’s wrong

Tyreen Calypso x Female!reader: Tyreen kidnaps the reader for her own special interest but is surprised when she shows no fear to Tyreen.

Zane Flynt x Female!reader: The reader is a new recruit and Zane takes her under his wing to train her. On their first day of working together, they are lead to stay at a cozy inn but there’s a catch... there’s only one bed. (a favorite trope of mine) 

Zer0 x Female!reader: Zero and the reader are stuck in a closet, shenanigan's ensue (Smut)

CEO!Rhys Strongfork x Female Secretary!reader x Timothy Lawrence: This is one of mine and is very self indulgent but I wanna post it when it’s done just in case people also enjoy my favorite boys. The reader is the secretary to Rhys under Atlas and one day Timothy Lawrence shows up (Takes place after the casino) in his office for a meeting and the reader and him reunite because they used to be lovers and partners in vault hunting. 

Bully 

Jimmy Hopkins x reader: “Every time I see you, my heart skips a beat.” I have literally nothing for this, I’m sorry but I will figure something out. 

Jimmy Hopkins x reader: Jimmy notices how the teachers keep pairing him up with the reader but he isn’t against the idea of spending more time with them at all

Jimmy Hopkins x Shy!reader: the reader is shy and kind but people think they’re innocent but they’ve seen more trauma and terror in the world than they should at their age and Jimmy finally finds out and comfort them to his best ability 

Jimmy Hopkins x reader: The reader is getting harrassed by some students and Jimmy defends them

Pete Kowalski x Female!reader: Pete gets into a fight with some kids from the school and the reader, who is the exact opposite of Pete, defends him and asks him out

Jimmy Hopkins x Male!reader: Jimmy helps pick up some books after some jerks knock them out of the reader’s hands

Gary Smith x reader x Jimmy hopkins x Pete Kowalski: The reader takes care of the main 3′s wounds after they come back from a particular bad fight

Detroit: Become human (Video Game)

Ralph x Female!reader: Ralph is upset and the reader calms hi down

Ralph x Female!reader: Ralph learned something new whilst the reader was away and wants to show her (Smut)

RK900 x Female!reader: After a tough case, Nines helps the reader wash their hair and the stress of the day away

The Incredibles (Movie)

Teen!Dash Parr x Artist!reader:The reader sketches graffiti and Dash passes by them one day and confesses

Life is strange 1, 2 (Video game)

Finn McNamara x Female!Diaz!reader: Finn likes the reader quite a bit but his timing isn’t the best with her and the Diaz’s being on the run.

Sean Diaz x Female!reader: Sean and Daniel discover someone with powers similar to Daniel’s and ask her to join them on their adventure. 

Miraculous ladybug (Series) 

Adrien Agreste x Foreign!reader: The reader’s heat goes out in their apartment and Adrien offeres his place until their heat comes back on since it’s the middle of winter

Onward (Movie)

Ian Lightfoot x reader: “I care about you.” (Again, I have no outline yet, but i’m working on it.)

Red vs Blue (Series)

Church x reader x Tucker: Tucker and Church fight for the reader’s attention like children

Rise of the Guardians (Movie)

Jack Frost x Female!Spring Spirit!reader: Jack and the reader are close and kissing quickly leads to smut

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles (Series)

Donatello Hamato x Insomniac!reader: After Donnie figures out that the reader is sleep deprived, he pulls them to the side to comfort them over their stress of not sleeping

Donatello Hamato x reader: Donnie is just wondering in a library when he sees a cute person stressing over a class they haven’t been paying attention to all year and decides to help them

She-Ra (Series)

Hordak x Female!Shy!reader:The reader just wants to give the world some light because she’s seen darkness but people think it’s because she’s innocent

Ps4 Spider-man (Video game)

Ps4 Spider-man x reader: This is one of my own fics, but basically Spidey saves the reader from some thugs and walks them home like the gentleman he is. 

Steven Universe (Series and movie)

Sour Cream x Female!reader: Sour Cream comforts the reader as she’s just been dumped by Kevin

Steven Universe x Boyfriend!reader: Steven is worried that his boyfriend may be hurt when he goes off to college or even out of town, so he trains him in self defense.

Steven Universe x Male!Psychotherapist!reader: The reader is Steven’s Psychotherapist and helps him whilst also falling in love with him, but it’s not one-sided

Steven Universe x Female!Impulsive!reader: Idiot x That’s my idiot trope, Steven saves the reader’s ass from getting hurt in a fight

Steven universe x reader:Once a week Steven visits the pet center that opened up in town and relaxes with the reader

Steven Universe x Tough!reader: Steven gives the reader weekly healing sessions after finding them with multiple wounds every week

Stoked (Series)

Ripper x reader: Ripper and the reader cuddle on the couch outside their rooms on the porch

Telltale’s the Walking dead game (Video game)

Mitch x reader: Mitch and the reader are fighting until it eventually leads to kissing

Voltron (Series)

Keith Kogane x Female!reader: Keith is immediatly attracted to her when she punches Lance because his flirting it getting too in her face. 

Lance McClain x Female!reader: After being yelled at by Keith, Lance comforts his friend of many years

[ladyalienist]

Rainbow walls and shame

I have a thing I need to get off my chest. It's been there for three days and half and it's now time to write about it.

So. I grew up in a pretty conservative enviroinment - in a rather complicated way, but generally speaking conservative. In early 2000s I barely knew what a gay man or a lesbian were and they were talked about with pity at best and open scorn at usual.

In 2005 a little girl joined my class. She had an incredible black mane of beautiful curls, a radiant smile, green eyes and an adorable accent. I was a bullied child - a full outcast, ostracized by everyone, frowned upon even by teachers, a disappointment in anything I tried. And this stunning creature chose me to be her first friend in class.

I felt blessed by some divine force whose goodness could not be questioned - my gratitude to her almost felt like worship. And I noticed that the feelings I had were not what one was supposed to have towards a friend. I was jealous when she talked to other girls in class (I also threw a rage fit I'm still ashamed of). I couldn't bear the thought of her having a boyfriend and leaving me alone again - yes, having a boyfriend was the big deal even then, in fucking elementary school.

So, being the curious and introspection-oriented child I was, I asked myself the dreaded question:

Am I a Lesbian?

Mind you: I was nine.

Yet I laid in bed, tense, unable to sleep (I started having disordered sleep patterns there), tormented by that terrible question. Am I a lesbian? I can't be one. I love my male crush (a boy in my class I was all over for five years and who never glanced at me twice and who's now a drug addict but that's another story). I can't be a lesbian. There's already too much wrongness in me.

Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know.

I managed to repress what I felt for other nine years - I spent my teenage years in a constant state of confusion towards other girls, because they were so pretty and I wanted to be like them (I'm not pretty in the slightest, I'm not attractive, and it was a problem back then), but when at night I dreamed of kissing them it was very weird. Oh well, sixteen years old me rationalized, must be that I want their boyfriend and since he actually has a repulsive personality (that's another story again) it's easier to imagine having something soft with them. But I'm straight. Totally straight. The fact that sex with boys feels awful is not a problem.

I was a teen, teens tend to not be very good at rationalizing things.

At eighteen I could not lie to myself any longer: I was in love with another girl. Now I could write an entire book about her and I - but that would be beside the point.

I laid in bed again, tears rolling silently down.

I am bisexual.

Now: I was not that terrified child anymore. I had been exposed to LGBT activism, I fully supported gay rights and gay people. My first "boyfriend" (another complicated story) was openly bisexual and I had supported him.

Yet it took me some time to come to terms with it for many reasons. I'm telling only the main two. One was: if I am part of the community, then my support for it when I told everyone I was straight as an arrow becomes a little hypocritical (teen black-or-white reasoning). The other: I cannot have a meaningful relationship with a boy, how am I ever supposed to achieve anything with a girl? The fact that the main reasons I couldn't have a nice boyfriend was that boys suck, or just that a life can be full even without romantic relationships, was unthinkable back then.

You see what was present at nine but absent at eighteen?

Shame.

I was not ashamed of myself or my sexuality. Not at all. I was not wrong for being bisexual - I actually thought it might be the least wrong thing with me.

So, now the actual post begins:

Monday was International Day Against Homophobia And Its Various Declinations. My social media feed was flooded with rainbows and tearful posts about LGBTQ+ youth and LGBTQ+ rights and whatever, blah, blah. From well-meaning people, let's be really clear.

I stayed silent, for I was feeling nothing but tired and ashamed. Tired - I want this to end. I want this to be a day for LGB, a day to actually speak about us, about our history, and not made it all about the TQ+. I want an honest conversation, I'm tired with this performative, shallow, useless rainbow wall. Ashamed - because I know how much the B, or at least a subset of people self-identifying as B, has its own responsibility in the loss of meaning of everything aimed at LGB.

I feel ashamed everytime I think a man is attractive and I would be lying if I said it doesn't happen (even when it comes to just celebrities, given also the unusually unsocial historical period). I feel lost when I find myself fantasizing about having a boyfriend - rationally I know I can never achieve a good relationship with a man, but wouldn't it be nice to just find one who can do the impossible? I'm not immune to my socialization. Even in radfem spaces it's hard to talk about it because it's hard to find a balance between male-pandering, I don't want to offend attitude and straight up rudeness.

At the same time I'd like a girlfriend - and I don't feel worthy of being loved of a woman who's amazing enough to be my romantic interest. I don't feel ready, I don't feel capable.

My bisexuality really feels like half-and-half. Like I can never be fully committed to someone (thanks to way too much of bisexual rep), I can never be fully described, I can never be fully understood. Even talking to fellow bisexuals sometimes is of no help, let alone to straight or homosexual people. I sometimes feel like I exist only as a porn fantasy - and I personally can't be that either because let's be clear no man wants a threesome with me (which is something I'm currently really glad of). I'm but a series of mismatched parts and desires that can never be accomplished - and that I can't talk about in this climate, because straights don't want to hear about us experiencing SSA and gays are rightly unwilling to hear about us experiencing OSA. And when you find the "inclusive" space it's all about dyed-haired queerios who LARP as gays and claim that "cis gays are gross" in the same sentence.

I cannot say I'm bisexual in a "normie" space because of fetishization and stereotypes - I cannot say I'm bisexual in LGBTQ+ spaces because anything is about the queerios - I cannot say I'm bisexual in other spaces because of this... because of that...

Maybe it's just a personal experience that still stems from feeling that there is a lot wrong with me. I have no clue.

But I really wished I could talk about how I feel openly, with no shame. And the very same community who should have made me proud of what I am is making me feel ashamed.

I don't know. I just needed to write it off.

[witchofrvnswood]

a thorough rant on why i despise awwp // part 1

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDERS, FATSHAMING, AND BAD BODY IMAGE ARE DISCUSSED IN A LATER SECTION OF THE POST

It’s been a long time coming guys,,,

But here it is.

I don’t know how this is going to end but it won’t be pretty.

So, AWWP is the sequel to SGE, a book in which the author claims he addresses themes such as feminism, girls vs boys, and what not. 

I feel like the book fails on many counts and does not even follow what Soman Chainani has described it as and intended it to be.

The first part of this rant will be centered around the themes of this book. The next part will touch on the plot and some of the characters in this book.

Let’s dissect this, shall we?

Toxic Feminism

God, this one drove me beyond insanity and is probably the worst plot point this book has to offer. I don’t even get what the author achieved by writing this ?? Instead of showing girls being progressive and realizing their true individual power and potential after an entire school year of being told they were objects and being trained to be beautiful and submissive to buys, he decides to show extreme feminism where girls just disown anything, ANYTHING that relates to femininity. 

Of course they don’t have to wear makeup. Of course they don’t need long, luscious locks. But to claim that girls only have these assets to impress boys is sexism in itself. “Third, we debeautified makeup as a pawn of patriarchy designed entirely to attract men,” the teacher went on.” Not to mention, Evelyn Sader, the woman pushing this agenda, isn’t following any of these rules herself and is running this sexist school while trying to trap two teenage girls just to get a man’s favor ??? What ?????

And of course. The whole enslaving boys thing. So many people falsely believe that feminism is about hating boys and that girls are supreme which is why so many people scoff at it. Because if this is the way feminism is being represented in media, in a CHILDRENS’ book, of course people are going to misunderstand it! This puts such a bad name on feminism and is just downright insulting to everything the feminist movement has worked for and now the author is pushing this idea into young children and teens. 

This entire book is set up to tell the readers that girls cannot be independent because they’ll end up enslaving men which cannot happen because they need men and can’t live without them! This idea is even pushed by Hester, HESTER of all people, who is said to hate boys. The way she says it makes absolutely no sense to her character whatsoever. ““Shut up,” Hester boomed, spinning back to Agatha. “No one likes boys! Even girls who like boys can’t stand boys! They smell, they talk too much, they mess up everything, and they always have their hands in their pants, but that doesn’t mean we can go to school without them! It’s like stymphs without bones! It’s like witches without warts! Without boys, LIFE HAS NO POINT!” 

What,,, why,,,, why would you make Hester say something to that effect ? She basically said that girls need boys to function and that “their lives are pointless without boys”. I’m sorry,,, I just,,,, guys, I lost it at that point. Take a shot every time this book makes me lose brain cells, much?? :p

The ending really defines this theme in this book. The last book ended with two girls choosing each other and this book went on and on about how that was WRONG, how only a girl and boy could be together. And then this book ends with a girl and a boy choosing each other and now that is supposedly “the right ending”. We know it’s not from Book 3, but does what’s said and done in Book 3 even matter since they ended up together anyways??

Overall, I just,,, I just don’t know where Soman was going with this. I just don’t. He doesn’t seem like an anti feminist but I feel like what he does is, he takes a controversial issue, puts his own problematic spin on it, tries to write it as overdramatic and satirical and just ends up writing a really close minded take on it which ends up affecting his readers, whose age demographic is usually 8-12.

He means well, he really does, and I know that. But he needs to step up his game. I honestly don’t know why his editor, who is a woman, let him publish awful messages like these,,, maybe he’s really convincing? We know he can’t take criticism though (*cough* instagram live *cough*)

But this leads to my next point: The body image messages in this book.

Body Image

TRIGGER WARNING: I DISCUSS GLORIFIED EATING DISORDERS, FATSHAMING, BAD BODY IMAGE, ETC. IF ANY OF THESE ARE TRIGGERS FOR YOU OR MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, STOP READING. THE RANT ENDS AFTER THIS SECTION.

Whew wee, where do I start. 

Here is another example of how Soman’s self claimed satire goes way too far and ends up being destructive.

The way the Evergirls are looked down upon by Sophie and Agatha for starting to eat more and not care about their weight or beauty is appalling to me. Sophie has always prioritized looks, which makes sense for her character to be disgusted by the Evers (not okay though!) but Agatha’s disgust makes no sense. This girl refused to take showers or brush her hair just a year ago, so I don’t know why she’s so disgusted by the Evergirls carelessness of their appearance.

Reena is even described with clear disgust in the book about how she had acquired a large bottom by eating chocolate and even candy is found repulsive by Sophie and Professor Anemone and the judgement they show towards the Evergirls for eating these is just awful. This message is really destructive and choosing whether or not to consume sweets is every individual’s own decision. Adding in the idea that eating sweets will make you gain lots of weight to your book is so harmful to young minds. And writing about how the protagonists, who the characters the readers look up to, are disgusted by girls putting on weight is horrible.

But the biggest victim of this theme is Dot. Dot, who was bullied endlessly for being overweight in the previous book. Dot, who somehow lost so much weight over the course of nine months that she went from being rotund to skinny with hour glass curves.

Okay, let’s break this down: there is no way, absolutely no way, that a person can lose THAT much weight in less than a year and still be healthy. Dot was not shown to have any health problems. When explaining how she had done this, she claimed she was “hungry all the time” and was solely snacking on vegetables such as carrots or celery. She further claimed that all of this was “worth it” as she is now popular and has a great social life.

I’m not,,,, I can’t even,,,, this. This is what you call glorifying an eating disorder. Are you going to read that above paragraph and tell me that people won’t feel inspired by Dot? That a self conscious girl won’t read about Dot’s “amazing” weight loss story and how “amazing” her life is after becoming skinny is not going to feel jealous and most likely try something to that affect,,,, I,,,, Soman, WHERE is your tact?

This is so disgusting and I am so sorry to anyone who was affected by this. If you don’t know, there was a movement of sorts on Instagram where the sge fans confronted Soman for how his way of writing eating disorders and weight problems seriously affected them and ended up making them self conscious or develop their own eating disorders.

This is all made worse by the fact that he just laughed it off, said he wrote it for humor, and was offended we even accused him of writing bad body image into his stories because he’s been teased for being skinny before.

This book has the worst problems with body image and glorifying eating disorders. This itself is enough to ruin the book for me.

Dot is a kind and humble character who’s only addressed in the story through her weight, it’s made into such a big plot point in her character arc, her weight and how she gets bullied for it, or how skinny she is, and what she did to get there. Her entire character is defined by her body and that is not okay.

This book did her and the other Evergirls so much injustice and it is so upsetting.

I would like to say this is it for the rant, but no, there are a lot more qualms I have with this book, ahaha :/

Stay tuned for Part 2: my issues with the characters in the books :)

[chvndlcr]

hey everyone, i’m elle! i’m in the est timezone. i’m nonbinary and i use she/her pronouns. i’m very bad at doing short intro posts but i’m gonna try to keep these short and sweet. so now let’s talk about my boy chan. he is my oldest oc - i've been writing him since 2014. 

[ alex fitzalan, cis man, 22, he/him ] did you see who just walked in? it was that SENIOR, the ╳ + ASSIDUOUS AND  - GUARDED ╳  one? you know, the one who lives OFF CAMPUS, CHANDLER LINWOOD! i heard they are majoring in BUSINESS and they can’t wait to get out of here to FIGURE OUT WHAT HE WANTS TO DO.  crap! stop staring, here they come! 

name. james chandler linwood // when chandler was five, he found out about middle names at school. after asking his dad what his was, he immediately decided that chandler was a way cooler name than james, and has gone by his middle name ever since. one of his pet peeves is people referring to him as james.  hometown. wayzata, mn // suburb of minneapolis major. business // chandler has no clue what he wants to do with his life. he’s been doing some photography gigs on the side since his freshman year of college, so he decided it wouldn’t hurt to get a degree in business so he could run his own shit better. he knows he doesn’t want to do photography as a career long-term, though. birthday. february 11th, 1999 // twenty two years old.  gender. cis man orientation. biromantic asexual // chan is completely out as ‘bi’. most people assume that means he’s bisexual and he doesn’t correct that idea. he’s a lot quieter about being asexual. a lot of people don’t understand what it is, and ask invasive questions, and he’s a naturally private person who wants to avoid all of that entirely.  hobbies. photography, cooking, video games phobias. acrophobia // fear of heights allergy. bee venom

[ BIO ] [tw. abuse/neglect, alcoholism, drug addiction, self harm, depression]

chandler is the only child of john and susan linwood. susan is a doctor while john works for an advertising company. susan has always been a bit ‘out there’, with no brain-to-mouth filter and some very problematic viewpoints and opinions. john started drinking when chan was eight. actually, he relapsed into drinking again, but chandler doesn’t know he had an alcohol problem before that. chandler knew his parents loved him; one of their better parenting traits was making sure he didn’t forget that. but they weren’t mentally present enough to be very good parents. gradually his dad became angry and violent while he was drinking and that, coupled with chandler’s rebellious teenage years, made the linwood home a less and less safe place for chandler.

in high school, he was known for hanging out with the “wrong crowd”. he partied a lot, trying to mentally escape from his home life and normal teen angst stuff. he often mouthed off to teachers and got in trouble on a regular basis. but he also worked really hard in school, taking mostly AP classes while managing As and Bs. not many people knew what to make of that, and acted like he was just a troublemaker that was naturally gifted. but in reality he was juggling challenging school work, a busy social life, and doing all of the cooking and cleaning at home. 

another thing chan had a reputation for was quickly rotating through girlfriends (and boyfriends, but there weren’t anywhere near as many guys to date at his suburban high school). but it wasn’t the situation everyone thought it was. as relationships became more physically intimate, he became more uncomfortable. as soon as sex was suggested, he would end the relationship. in hindsight, this wasn’t the best way to approach dating. but at the time, he had no idea asexuality was a thing and that he didn’t owe anyone sex just because they were in a relationship.

his longest high school relationship was madison. they had mutual friends and started hanging out. madison had a fairly obvious drug problem, but that didn’t bother chandler. a part of him was more attracted to her because of it, although he’d never admit that to anyone. plus she was asexual. this not only was how he found out that was a sexual orientation, but it also took a lot of anxiety out of the idea of dating and chandler fell hard. 

madison easily grew jealous. she was biphobic, hated sharing chandler with anyone, and was often bossy and controlling. yet chandler noticed none of the red flags until it was too late. by the time he started trying to untangle himself from her, he couldn’t. he was scared what she would do to herself if he ended things, and as she became physically violent he was scared of what she would do to him as well. since he couldn’t get out of the situation, and had never learned healthy ways of coping with the stress and trauma in his life, he turned to binge drinking and self harm.

his way out came in the form of an acceptance letter from suffolk university. as soon as he graduated high school, he left for boston and never looked back. 

while he had a great inner drive in high school, that came to a screeching halt once he started college. his motivation had always been to get out of wayzata. but now that he was finally free, he had no idea what to do. at the same time, he was dealing with the aftermath of both his dad and his ex-girlfriend’s abuse towards him. 

while he continued pushing forward, he never found that motivation to really care about school or his future again. he’s in his final year of college and still hasn’t figured out what he wants to do with his life. he feels stuck and frustrated.

most people don’t know about his parents, or his struggles with mental health and self harm. he’s in total denial that he has a problem with alcohol. he simply doesn’t open up easily, preferring to surround himself with a shell that can become spiky if he feels uncomfortable. but he’s always cracking jokes and acting like he doesn’t take anything seriously, putting up a front so nobody looks too closely at the cracks.

[ HEADCANONS ] 

while chandler is shit at taking care of his own needs, he’s amazing at taking care of other people. he will hold your hair back at a party while you throw up, make sure you drink enough water and electrolytes, then make you breakfast in the morning. he’s definitely a bit of a ‘mom friend’, although he doesn’t think he is.

he may act apathetic, but he cares. a lot. he’s a rather empathetic person. unfortunately he has the emotional intelligence of a spoon, so this isn’t always a good thing

sometimes when he’s drunk, chandler starts rambling about video game and/or cartoon conspiracy theories

his yearbook quote was “would you woohoo me in sims yes or no”

also he really likes cooking for other people so if he asks to cook for you please just humor him and say yes

[ WANTED CONNECTION ]

some sort of family member // he’s an only child, so probably a cousin. they don’t have to be from minnesota.

exes // guys, girls, nonbinary people....doesn’t matter. 

fake relationship // for some reason, these two pretend they’re dating. maybe more happens, maybe not.

restaurant service // they can’t cook, so they’re always coming over and eating what chandler makes.

roommate // they could be the best of friends or hate each others guts. lots of room to find the right dynamic

best friend // one of the only people chan trusts, and they know everything about him

classmate // self explanatory

[ DISCLAIMERS ]

i know some people get really touchy about aces being portrayed as sex repulsed so often. asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, that’s it. some aces like sex. however, chandler does not and that’s okay too!

also i know he has some heavy topics in his writing. i will tag any post that involve these topics accordingly, and always do my absolute best to handle this kind of material in a respectful and empathetic way. 

[ FINAL NOTES ]

so yeah that’s chandler. so much for making this short, but i actually left a lot of small details out. please like this post or send me a message to start plotting with my son.

[thoughtsdying]

The procces of realising you’re aroace: a tale by me version 2

Realising you’re aroace is suddenly comprehending why your few friends (with one exception) have always turned out to be in the queer community at the end. Like. That fenomenum of “queer radar only you don’t realise it’s there and you end up gravitating together anyway?” yup- It happens too. Only most of the time you think you’re an allied cis-het weirdo who cares too much about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you, and who cares if you feel weird when other people assume you’re hetero (or that you have a orientation at all), you sure aren’t attracked to your same gender either. Nor are any kind of trans.

And then you discover asexuality in your late teens and it feels weirdly near you, but you think you’re trying to make it so you’re special, so you dismiss any ace feels as you being a late bloomer, and only take care of including it in discussions about queer issues, and then you feel strangely hurt when a professor dismisses it as “some self descriptor weird lonely japanese men in their 40′s created who only care for 2D” which. You don’t have to tell me all the problems in that sentence. Believe me, I know. And you can’t come with arguments except well if people feel like using it, then we should respect it, bc you don’t have the words to explain asexuality except that internet in english told you it was a thing and you still don’t know except in a nebulous way what even is aromanticism, so you didn’t bring that up in the discussion at all.

And a pair of years after that you start using demisexual bc it feels less scary and very reasonable except you’ve never felt attracted to anyone, how do you even tell it? And relationships scare you, and you still don’t have any idea of what is aromanticism except it scares you and you don’t want to contemplate a life being aro. You love romances after all

(except when you have to look the other way in any kind of profound kiss, bc it’s private people, which makes you feel wiedly homophobic when you’re watching a lgbtq+ media or your best friend with her girlfriend even if it’s the same with hetero, except then it’s just that sex is weird in film and kisses with tongue are still private people!)

and obviously you still don’t want to have sex with a girl (Except perhaps those emotional dreams of touching with a friend that aren’t sex but almlost and are very comfortable anyways it could be nice you’re sure but nice isn’t desire is it?) so even although guys make you nervous and any thought of doing anything romantic-sexual with one is a “yikes” you suppose you find some really pretty in a different way you do with woman and that must be ~attraction~.

And a friend tells you that a guy tried to sound her to see if he could date you and she told him you were ace and uninterested in any kind of relationship, and you go “why?” confused and a bit elated bc holy shit what a relief you won’t have to confront him, but also a bit of panic (that’s how i come across? it isn’t my imagination, im so obvious oh no) and she tells you, “well you are almost one and you don’t have any intention of dating anybody right now so i thought it best to cut any feels on his part right now”. And it gives you things to think about.

And another two years pass except this time you’ve started to educate yourself on aromanticism bc too many relatable posts on tumblr looking into the ace tag made you “holy shit yeah this makes more sense than just asexuality” but also you keep loving romance stories except now you’ve started to recognize you’re starved of friendship in all the ambits of your live and you’re also a young adult who still doesn’t want a relationship, what do i do? And maybe you’re not demi, you’re ace and you can think sex sounds a nice activity to do with intimate friends (aro aro aro) but not something you’re into, and you’re still ace, you’re not attracted to anybody not really. What a relief. (you still can’t try on the aro umbrella)

And you question yourself bc a fantastic guy has become your friend, and your minds vibe inmensely well, and you talk during quearentine, but he gives you some weird vibes sometimes, and makes you gifts which you ignore bc holy shit a best friend! And he has money and he’s lonely! I would also give gifts to my besties if I had money! And then he confesses to you on wassap, and you realise he has put you on a pedestal and has cofessed but already said himself he doesn’t want a relationship with you bc he would corrupt you or something and anyway, he’s not really in love with you he’s using you as a mental crutch to try to not be depressed, he knows that noe but he hates psycologists. Also, can i have some time apart from you?

So you tell him you feel flattered but that you see him as only a friend, and please can you not put yourself so below me? Search professional help. I’ll stay away as long as you need.

And you start feeling uneasy, but you think it’s only that he’s a weirdo and really you’ve dodged a bullet of course you wouldn’t want to go out with him, he’s not really the kind of pretty you like. Except if you’re ace what does it matter? Isn’t it that you feel pretty repulsed by trying a romantic relationship? Or are you just justifying your own aloofness and personality problems that make impossibly difficult to try a romance anyway. People don’t control who they feel romantic feels for anyway.

Except in the following months when you’ve finally reaturned to be friends you’re so relieved to not have that shadow above you and really wouldn’t it be amazing if everybody knew you didn’t want anything to do with them romantically? To be free to be friends and hug them, and walk arm in arm or go to lunch and cinema and still be just friends? To plan your future in a line along with those friends but not be really a committement as much as you just want to enjoy talking face to face with them for a bit longer.

So you go back to read about aromanticism and maybe you cry a little but mostly you’re pretty happy and scared about it. And you tell that friend, bc he’s your bestie right now and you feel him being bi and also being interested in you in the past would make him more likely to react well. It’s not personal it’s just the way I am. And then you start crying in the middle of a starbucks for 15 min. and you didn’t now you feel so much so intensely about being aroace, and how it had impacted you without knowing and how much you hate those expectations. And he hugs you and tells you “nobody has the right to tell you how to live. if you feel like you’re never gonna be in a relationship that’s your business and you’ll be happy anyway” and you cry harder. And then you both have a sincere conversation about sex as he has experimented it and how you feel it pretty strange and weird, but maybe you’d like to try it sometime. Just not a time near now. And if it’s never that’s pretty okey with you too.

So you go home feeling a bit embarrased but also pretty elated except a week later there’s another wassap message from him, saying he feels he still loves you, and that he understands intelectually your nearness with him is friendly but still feels romantic and it confuses me and it pains me and i would prefer to not be your friend anymore, sorry, men are shit and me the worst of them.

“Ok” I write back. I’m furious and hurt and I don’t want to see his liar face anymore. So fuck you, I think. “Thanks for telling me” And I block his number and I don’t talk to him when we met with out mutual friends, and when it’s necessary I talk as if he were a stranger. Kindly but impersonal. Isn’t that what you wanted? To lost a friend? So you’ve lost me forever.

And it became clear to me that I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stupidity of not wanting to see someone just because their lives don’t revolve around you the way you like, even though you’re friends and you can talk to them about anything at all anyway, and be there for help with the shitty parts of life. There are things I’ll never felt or do for another. 

And I’m ok with that.

[eyes-like-a-pisces]

3, 8, 24, 56

3. Do you really think there is somebody for everybody?

No, not in the way that Prince Charming that was created just for you is waiting down the corner, just waiting for the right moment. I have relatives that have been alone their whole life, because of different circumstances :( Not to even mention the number of divorces 😬 I hope I won't join this group :/. The positive part is that there is always a chance that you'll meet someone special and good people that will care about you.

And I kinda believe in the law od attraction, so if you really want It, you have your heart open, don't stress out and focus on becoming the person you'd like to be with by being your authentic self, there is a bigger chance that you'll find what your heart desires. There are so many people in the world, so there must be at least one person that would be a good match for you, so in that sense, yes.

8. Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation?

Hmm, a general sensation that has different forms of manifestation? So you can put It into the categories.

24. Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality?

If It comes to my gender, then growing up, as a teen, a was more of a tomboy. The world made me believe that stereotypically feminine interests are shallow, I thought that being different from other girls is a positive thing. I also didn't like how sexualized girls are. So I wished I was a boy. I was kinda dressing like that and I got a pixie cut. But when I got older, then I realized that all that stereotypes and gender roles are bullshit. That I can look like a truck driver and do what I want and still can be and feel like a girl. Or talk about clothes and It doesn't make me shallow. Girls are differential, interesting and we just all suffer from all that misogyny. That conclusion made me feel more in peace with my feminity, in more classical sense of this word as well, and I don't feel the need to question or overthink that anymore. So I'm just a cis girl.

But with my sexuality, the thing is more complex. I feel like I'm a hetero lesbian, touch starved horny sex-repulsed, hopeless romantic aromantic 🤡. So I just use the term bisexual, cause in the summary I happened to be attracted to men and women. I think that's a common bisexual experience that you feel like: you are straight, you are lying to yourself. Or "you are fucking gay, who do you want to fool?". Generally, I'm barely attracted to anybody. Especially in real life. I almost never have crushes. The less available person the better. Pretty often I look at a man and feel repugnance, even (especially) if my hetero friends concider him "hot". But I do find some men attractive. (Many band members, ya'll know 🤡). I was with a man. But the men I'm attracted to are never masculine macho type. I'm more often attracted to men in touch with their feminine side and It makes me wonder if I'm really attracted to men then? I started questioning my sexuality pretty early, because I had crushes on girls. Girls are great and beautiful, but I rarely think about being in a relationship with one. And then I often see a romantic poetry or a gif of people kissing and I'm like 🤢. Romantic posts on this website often make me literally sick in the stomach. I don't think I've ever been in love. I'm fine being alone. But at the same time romantic love is all I dream about and what my heart desires. So??? But there's no need to really label It for me. If I'll meet a person and we'll click, then we'll click, no matter of a gender.

56. What do you think about artificial intelligence?

I don't think about It 😅

Thanks Maja 💞💐

[ofieugogyshz]

One of them ole introduction posts

Hi, I'm Sarah, and I had been watching the self-shipping community from afar for a year, until I decided to put this blog out there when last year began.

I'm 33 years old, so if an adult of that age interacting with you is a bother, don't be afraid to ask me to unfollow! My pronouns are a lot; they/them will suffice most of the time. I also have yet to come up with a pseudonym, so please feel free to give me a nickname if you want! I'm also a sex-repulsed aroace, which feels very important to state upfront!

I've been a self-shipper since before I made friends with others who fangirled like that in our wee baby teen internet years. So like. 19 years. That is a long time, especially with the same f/o, so you can say that we've grown together? Or, more likely, he's seen me grow and mature as a person. A LOT. And he's very proud of me to the point that it's almost sappy.

Anyhoo. I don't really know what all to put in these things. This blog is primarily a happy place blog; it'll serve as a collective of posts for my main f/o, and my idol children. And whatever else catches my fancy. The mobile link for my f/o list is in my bio.

My main f/o of the last 20 years is Lance from Pokemon! Because of the time we've shared, and how special he's been for me, he is the one f/o that i am not comfortable sharing. Like, I don't mind talking about him and fangirling with others! But seeing others' ships with him feels very.... Weird and awkward and overall uncomfortable! So I might not be able to interact much on a ship level; I will, however, GLADLY fangirl the heck out of him with you, tho! I've been in fangirl mode nonstop since the anipoke episode back in Feb a few years ago! 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💖💖💘💘

My best idol kids are Otoya from Utapri; and Rin, Nozomi Mari, Hanamaru, & Ai from LLSIF. I don't really have a significantly self-insert familial status with them despite calling 'em my kids, they're just my bestest boy/girls, who I know would be cheering me on, and going thru a bunch of fanart of them is sure to make my day. Especially when my best kids are the ones who have some of the best smiles and biggest energies.

Other than my idol kids, I've accepted that Silver is basically like a son to Lance, which makes him like a redheaded stepson for me. And there's Ms. Honey from the Isle of Armor DLC, who makes for a kickass and supportive mom. I love her, please adopt me.

I've also adopted the Universe 6 Saiyans Cabba, Caulifla, and Kale as my kids, bc they're such good kids. Auriana from Lolirock and Tsuruno from Magia Record make for the best orange magical girls that I also want to adopt. Did you know that Fret from Neo: TWEWY is my bi fashion icon son? Because he is.

There might be some other stuff, like Team Golden Deer or Boogiepop, the latter of whom I don't know if i want to be or if i just really really like the character of.

Ack, this is getting really long! It's become more of an intro than a self-promo! Anyways hi please feel free to follow + interact if u like pokemon, TWEWY, dbz, utapri, llsif, opm... there's lots of other series i'm familiar with but those are the big ones for me that i’d love to meet more friends of!

Thanks for reading!

[childofaura]

Walter Strickler, Trollhunters. BREAK 'IM DOWN!

YESSS ANON, YOU’VE MADE MY DAY!

How I feel about this character:

SO. MANY. FEELINGS. ALL VERY POSITIVE AND I LOVE THIS CHARACTER. So I’m fascinated by Strickler’s character, that he (And Nomura, but that’s for another day) is so deeply invested in human culture that he’s repulsed by average troll-habits; it makes you wonder how his upbringing was as a child. Academic achievements and rewards in school? Did he join any kind of athletic teams in school? How did he decide on becoming a teacher when we can kind of agree that being a teacher for an absolute hodge-podge of high-strung teenage personalities is hard to get into? ALSO, his intellect. He’s so meticulous that very rarely does he get caught in his own slip-ups, it’s usually the result of an outside force or someone else (Bular calling Jim “Young Atlas”, Jim causing Angor’s soul to break, etc). He’s the best kind of antagonist, the self-serving kind; He knows how to get under people’s skin, he knows how to keep his head attached to his body when need-be, but despite all that and despite the belief of superiority that trolls are better than humans, he has an honest-to-goodness liking for Jim, being that Jim’s an earnest kid who puts his effort into class and homework, but just falls behind because he’s balancing taking care of his mom with being a teen.

OH, AND HIS ACTOR. HE FITS LIKE A GLOVE AND I COULDN’T IMAGINE A DIFFERENT ACTOR.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Pretty easy, him and Barbara. The show does a really good job in displaying the progression of how he falls for her; She’s got a genuinely kind demeanor, she’s witty, charming, and very social. Someone that, for a guy like Strickler who embraces humanity more than the other changelings, is delightful to spend time with. Even if it was just a way for him to keep his thumb on Jim, he got way too involved (but that’s a good thing, though!)

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I know I’m like everyone else, but him and Nomura. I feel like the show’s pacing didn’t leave enough room to show them interacting without someone else in the room. Both Strickler and Nomura are changelings who invested very deeply into human culture (Strickler in history, and Nomura in artwork), and since art and history are intertwined, there was a lot of missed opportunity to see them make historic or art references that they very well could have been there for... depending on how old they were or how long they lived, of course. Still don’t really know their canon age. Also would have been nice to see back-and-forth banter, even if they’re just mocking each other.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Oh gosh... I don’t even know if I have one? Mmmm... maybe the fact that at one point the show attempted to slightly push a “father-son” tone, however lightly it was, with him and Jim. But that might also be my faulty memory, I could have sworn at one point they said something similar to that but I could be wrong. But either way, Blinky firmly has to hold the father role to Jim.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

MORE. SCREENTIME. DURING. 3BELOW AND WIZARDS! HIM AND BARBARA ARE NOW PARENTS TO LIKE 50 BABIES, YOU CAN’T TELL ME THERE WEREN’T ANY MORE SHENANIGANS GOING ON AFTER THE TROLLHUNTERS FINALE. Especially because he would have been devastated to see what happened to Jim after they came back to Arcadia and came back from the past! ALSO SHOULD HAVE HAD EVEN MORE FIGHT SCENES WITH HIM! His fighting technique was so fascinating (Not Nomura levels of amazing, but still amazing on his own merit)!

[animalpetcel]

Ideal RHATO

Okay, so I’ve done some thinking. While Red Hood and the Outlaws was an interesting concept; give Jason friends and a team of his own, get him out of the Batfam Shadow, it’s been bogged down by L*bdell spotty writing and questionable Editorial decisions. So I’ve taken the time to think of what I would personally want the Outlaws to be.

First of all, I don’t believe that Jason would be better of if he remained solo. While he does deserve a good solo run other than UtH, the idea of permanently sequestering from creating meaningful, recurring relationships with other heroes is just repulsive to me. He should be allowed to have friends and people to talk to outside of the Batfamily guys, there’s only so many adventures he can have by himself before they all start sounding the same. You could even have him gaining friends as part of his character development.

Okay! So let’s begin

In my version, the Outlaws would be a more obvious antihero team. They take cases by those who feel that regular heroes can’t help them, that they won’t go far enough to achieve justice. The Outlaws won’t kill often, but it would usually be awful criminals like drug dealers, traffickers or those in charge, but if they don’t kill, they won’t be above dissing out harsh, lasting punishments to those who cross them. There could be the possibility of them being a team looking for redemption, but I’ve never really thought about them going in that direction.

Btw: This will be a hard reboot, everything from New52 to Rebirth regarding RHATO will be completely retconned, because Lobdell wrote almost all of them and despite what people want to believe most of it is bad save for some barely passable moments

Outlaw Members

Jason Todd

Can’t have the Outlaws without their infamous leader. Like I said above, I believe that having his own team can be a good thing for Jason, he can establish a history disconnected from his history with Bruce and actually start to move on. I’d imagine him being a reluctant leader, preferring to work alone but admitting that having people to rely on has made his mission a lot easier. He’s a very driven and calculated person, and after reading Arkham Knight Genesis, I have no doubt in his leadership skills and his ability to turn a ragtag group of antiheroes into a team to be reckoned with.

Idk if I’d keep his All-Caste stuff. I know that it was probably created to give his backstory something that stands out, since he’s the third Batfam member to have the League of Assassins in his backstory and isn’t the only one that’s died before, but he barely uses the All-blades or brings up the All-Caste to the point were you can omit it and don’t really have to do that much to replace it. At this point, I’d accept Talia making him train with Brother Blood over the All-Caste.

I’d probably say that the Lazurus pit Talia used to bring him back was kinda special, giving him a minor healing factor and increasing his strength, idk, something small.

Eddie Bloomberg

(I hate Tom King and this dialogue too but I wanted a recent image of him)

Did you know that unlike Roy Harper, Eddie was actually Jason’s best friend pre-reboot? Most people don’t because DC doesn’t care about using pre-established canon or developing its less popular heroes! 🙃

Okay, I used to be a huge fan of Jason and Roy’s friendship in New52 RHATO, but then I learned that Roy was originally Dick’s friends, that his personality was dumbed down for New52, Roy actually hates mercenaries and would never become one, they only used Roy because he was more popular and that most Titan/Roy friends actually hate his New52 counterpart and friendship with Jason. While I believe that Roy and be both friendship with Dick AND Jason (but in different ways. Dick is more of a close friend while he and Jason should have a more big brother kind of relationship), I have to admit that DC dropped the ball here, and it would be easier to just scrap everything instead of trying to make it work.

Eddie’s personality is actually quite similar to New52 Roy’s, and he and Jason already have unexplored history, so switching Roy with him won’t mess anything too much.

And now, I hear you ask “Ani, what about the Outlaw’s being an antihero group? Wouldn’t that make Eddie stand out?”, and I will reply “Don’t worry, I have a plan!”

Back when Eddie first got his powers, Neron, the king of hell at the time (?) wanted Eddie to be his protege, but Eddie refuses. But what if Neron was more forceful? Eddie could be offered, now powerless again because of the events of TT (but his death is retconned to just getting badly injured), to become Neron’s protege once again. With nothing left to lose (his relationship with Blue Devil is still in the fritz, Teen Titans no longer seem to give a damn and Rose & Jaime is still off doing their own things), he takes it. I guess he’s probably look different with more of Neron’s power coursing through his veins, but the point is that Outlaws become a “Fall from grace” for him. He’s trying to still be a hero, but as Neron’s influence continues to grow, his ability to tell right from wrong gets more and more clouded.

He’s the one to approach Jason with the idea of being a team, wanting to relive the “Good Ol’ Days” when they were younger and less bogged down with personal trauma. While Jason is reluctant, he admits that since being self-exiled from the Batfamily that it’s been kinda lonely, so he agrees, but only short-term. Eddie then segways into the next member of their burgeoning group–

Rose Wilson

While pre-reboot, Rose and Jason did not have the friendliest interactions, with her holding a blade to her throat while his brothers threatened him with a crime he never committed. Post-reboot, he and Rose seem to have a more “friendlier” relationship, but the Wilson family have been rebooted at least theee times in both New52 and Rebirth, so who knows if they even still know each other now,

Rose and Eddie were very close friends in Teen Titans, and I think that getting Rose away from the madness of her family and father could be good for her character.

Eddie manages to convince her to join the “Outlaws”, but like Jason, she goes into it thinking that it’ll be a one-time thing. She cares a lot about Eddie, and sticks with the team to make sure that he’s doing alright. She probably could have an arc were Nightwing confronts her on her work in the Outlaws (since the other heroes see them as white-hat mercenaries) since he mentored her in being a hero, so it could be about dealing with what other people expect of her.

Essence

While L*bdell might be basically a shit writer, he does create interesting concepts. With a better writer, Essence could be a very interesting character, watching from the shadows and judging whether or not the Outlaws are actually “good” people, before she eventually starts taking a more active role in helping them punish criminals.

While she would at first interact solely with Jason, asking him questions about his deeds and ordering him in what direction she feels is best, she would eventually introduce herself to the rest of the group. I think she’d get along best with Komand’r, while the others might test her absolutism, Black-And-White morality a bit.

Rankorr (Jack Moore)

I know that there’s some people who want Guy Gardner to be Jason’s lantern, but what about a lantern who is close to Jason in age and actually fits the Outlaw theme?

Jack Moore is a Red Lantern, not only a Red Lantern, but the first human lantern who is also the first Red Lantern to be capable of creating constructs. He struggles with his rage, and deep down, he wants to enjoy a normal life on earth.

Maybe after Red Lantern (retconning Lobo or if not, he’s brought back using Red Lantern Blood Magic), he decides that the RL’s are a bit too cult-like for him and tries to lay low on Earth, finishing his literature degree and opening up a small bookstore somewhere in London. He’s close with Guy, but still can’t/refuses to let go of his rage, so Jack is still a RL

Of course, keeping his rage at bay is hard work, and after witnessing police brutality one more time, he loses control.

The Outlaws were hired by the family of the victim to make the officers see justice, but after seeing Jack work, they realize that this might be their easiest case yet.

Afterwards, Jack tries to downplay the entire thing (before resorting to threats when the Outlaws won’t listen), but Jason eventually convinced him that his talents would be wasted just being a civilian (and that his rage will only get worse if he continues to just let it boil without an “outlet”) so he joins the team

Blackfire

I’ve read Komand’r’s backstory, I know how bad it looks. However, in a medium where retcons and reimaginings are features instead of bugs (and can benefit a character’s story if done right), I really think it could be possible to make her work.

After reading New52 RHATO, I began thinking that it could be so much better if not only Eddie took Roy’s spot, but also if Komand’r took Starfire’s, since I feel like she had more potential beyond “Kori’s evil disabled sister”, “War Criminal” and “Struggling queen of Tamaran”

First, I’d change her pre-reboot backstory so instead of taking over the Gordanians, she is instead captured by them after Starfire frees her from the Psions (Komand’r still hates her sister and refuses to follow her). Through her clever mind and manipulations, she manages to earn favor with Lord Damyn, feigning romantic interest. Of course, given Komand’r’s nature, she ends up killing and replacing him, but her rule doesn’t go over well and she is again recaptured, but this time she’s brought to Earth.

Realizing that she’s now trapped on the planet whete her sister has become a successful and popular hero, Komand’r is at first angry, and then conspires to free herself and take revenge on her sister (who she still blames for everything despite that not being the case).

The Outlaws bust the alien trafficking ring, and Komand’r, seeing her chance, decides to show off and make nice with them to eventually use them for her revenge.

She finds Eddie and Rankorr easy to manipulate, but she bumps Heads with Jason whenever she tries to take his role as leader away from him and finds Rose’s mind to be “weak”. Overtime however, she bonds with Jason over feeling inferior to their siblings, realizes that her anger shares Rankorr’s intensity, and grows a genuine friendship with Rose and Eddie

Oh yeah, and maybe she tries to make things right with Kori

Artemis Grace

What would the Outlaws be without the greatest Amazon to have ever lived? Nothing, that’s for sure.

While I don’t agree with Jaytemis (at least not yet), I have to admit that Jason would be a fool not to like her. She’s a cool, confident character with a lot of interesting lore behind her.

Her joining will probably be pretty close to canon. The Outlaws are tasked with going after Black Mask, and Jason decides to go undercover, as the Red Hood still has his fingers in various criminal pies. While investigating, he runs into Artemis, who is looking for the Bow of Ra, and rest is history.

I feel like she’ll get along really well with Rose and Komand’r and maybe she’ll date one. She’ll definitely view Eddie a bit dismissively, and she isn’t a huge fan of demons. Rankorr would probably come off as stuck up to her.

Bizarro

Anyone who knows me will know that I’m am not a huge fan of Bizarro clones. I consider them to be an overused concept (that sometimes feels as if it relies on gene superiority, but idk if I’ll ever fully process my dislike for them), and the fact that as the time I’m writing this, there are at least four currently in continuity does not enamor me with the concept more.

However, after re-reading RHATO a few times, I’ll admit that the Outlaws’ Bizarro has grown on me. Since he already kinda has a unique name (Bizz), all I think he needs is a more visually distinct costume (doesn’t even have to directly reference Superman, but I can go 50/50 on the backwards “S”)

The Outlaws getting Bizz is exactly the same as canon. I’d imagine that he and Eddie would be as close as brothers. While Rankorr might find Bizz’s way of thinking and speaking to be annoying, I’d think that Rankorr will eventually warm up to him and probably teach him how to read and help Artemis teach him. Komand’r and Rose will probably be less receptive to him, but who knows

August Heart

I’m a Godspeed fan first and human second, we’ve been knew.

In all seriousness, Godspeed is the perfect Rebirth era character for RHATO and the fact that he and Jason still haven’t met is why DC doesn’t have any rights.

Okay okay, but he’s honestly a perfect fit. Like Jason, he also kills when dealing with crimes, but he isn’t so good and knowing who’s guilty and who isn’t just yet.

This will probably be after Death of the Speedforce, with August finally making things right with Barry, but still not forgiving himself for everything that happened. Deciding to self-exile himself rather than go back to Iron Heights, August travels, trying to figure out what do to do next, trying to follow Barry’s rules (which he finds to be very wishy-washy) to the best of his ability.

Eventually, he learns that Black Hole is still running, and against his better instincts, he goes after them.

His trail of lightning destruction catches the eye of the Outlaws.

Barry, realizing that his best-friend might need someone who can actually be there all the time to help reign him in, Barry goes to the Outlaws and asks them if they can help him once they catch up to him

They do in the form of offering a spot on the team.

August is very self-assured (even if it is hiding a softer, more emotional center), but has proven to be able to work with others, so I can see the other Outlaws coming to like him. They might find him a little cocky/early to jump the gun, but still a trusted and valued member of the team.

Since every Robin has their own flash, it only makes sense to finally give Jason (and have them date) a speedster of his own, and it should be someone who fits his morals, and who else could Then the speedster fans literally call “The Red Hood of the Flashfam”?

Final Thoughts

Other possible members I would consider/accept are

Eradicator Superman

Koryak

Vanessa Kapatelis/Silver Swan lll

Simon Amal (Crux)

Danny Chase

Clone!Roy Harper

Connor Hawke

Orm Marvius

Man O’ War

Lagoon Boy

Scarlet

Zachary Zatara

Thomas Merlyn

Ragman

Bleez

Walter West

Even with a cast as sizable as the one I just listed, with a good enough writer, there could still a few minor side characters. I would personally want the them to be

Scarlet: Jason’s former sidekick. She could be either a civilian who he talks to get experience some normalcy or the leader of her own version of the Outlaws made of up the Generation Outlaws we meet in RHATO #37-40. Either way, it could contrast with Bruce and the way he (mis)treats his own sidekicks and family

Zachary Zatara: Eddie’s old friend who helped him get his devil powers. Zachary would definitely be worried over Eddie once again accepting Neron’s power and will want to try to help. Whether he suceeds or not will depend if the writers want to go in that direction

Isabel Ardila: She’s a nothing character, but there’s a small chance that with a better writer, she might gain an interesting personality or an actual purpose in RHATO

Talia Al Ghul: before the reboot, Talia was Jason’s mentor figure and even gave him a cool dagger. It would be so cool if we can bring that back and erase Morrison’s problematic charactization of her. Maybe the dagger she gives Jason could be an All-Blade or smth. They’d definitely take a few cases from her however

Batfam, Titans and respective groups: it would have to happen eventually. It could lead to some interesting, angst filled conversations. And who knows, maybe they’ll actually make progress with their issues

But this post has gone on long enough. I just really wanted to talk a bit about my ideal Outlaws team that I will never see anywhere except for my dreams because mass media hates me and DC still thinks that Lobdell deserves to write Jason 😔😭