#my wife is literally | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hamartia-grander · 1 month

Text

Obsessed with my group of friends who ALL approve of me telling a cop I'm gonna write her name in my Death Note

#second durge run is going well I am finally romancing Wyll my beloved wife #I've literally never had ALL of them approve at once I'm crying #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #the dark urge #durge #bg3 durge #bg3 memes

2K notes · View notes

cosmosnout · 25 days

Text

FHJY SPOILERS EP 17!!

”And the second you see her, you're gonna feel like yourself again.”

#i am so unbelievably insane abt them #literally wifes #date idea: we’re two corrupted goddess that have been betrayed by our followers #they’re holding hands in gay heaven #im just gonna pretend like they aren’t divorced #art #digital art #my art #fanart #fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #fh junior year #fhjy spoilers #fh #c #Cassandra #Ankarna

1K notes · View notes

theygender · 2 years

Text

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday)#its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

25K notes · View notes

xxsugarbonesxx · 3 months

Text

literally all of miguel nation

#miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #2099<3 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #beyond the spiderverse #hes literally perfect #i love my wife

1K notes · View notes

ninjautistic · 6 months

Text

I don't remember this but HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIITT LLOYD WAS CONFIRMED TO BE AT LEAST 9 YEARS OLD HERE AND HE WAS ABLE TO DO THAT??? JESUS FUCK

#This might be proof that lloyd is quite jacked #i mean lloyd literally cracked the entire floor split open under ONE fucking FIST #and in dragons rising lloyd literally blocked the empress' sword on her big mech with his tiny ass gold sword #and lloyd also literally lifted and threw kai across the ship in dragons rising too..#and in the magazine comics (not entirely canon sadly) lloyd threw a big ass enormous fucking vengestone mech in his oni form with his HANDS #ANNNNDDD lloyd can even handle the power of the source dragon in dragons rising..#ANNNNNDD the original ending for crystallised was gonna be about lloyd lost in his oni form and beating the overlords ass and rule ninjago..#in which apparently the ninja save him from the power of FRIENDSHIP #lloyd literally fell on piles of glass and wasn't bothered by it #HE WAS 9 AND HE FELL ON PILES OF GLASS WITH NO HESITATION!?!?!#fucking OUCH #and yet wu says lloyd is “the wise one” fuck that shit he should become a GOD #lloyd literally risked to sacrifice his life to the three dragon cores in dragons rising like holy fucking shit I'd marry him #if lloyd was a villain I'd fucking root for him so hard I'd be on my knees they should make it happen PLEASE PLES PLEASEE #sorry i love lloyd hes my wife #ninjago #ninjago fandom #lloyd garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon #lloyd garmadon ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd ninjago #ninjago lloyd garmadon

2K notes · View notes

lo-cinno · 6 months

Text

He’s so cute he brought us flowers I love him pls

#the quality and lighting is bad bc I took this using my phone with shaky hands #i cannot handle this #the man on his first face to face meeting with us #told us his real name #complimented us #brought us flowers #im literally bringing put a ring wtf #i love him husband material real except hes so bbg wife #a date with death #lock-ing onto death

1K notes · View notes

cyanastrologist · 2 years

Text

❌ Ned Fulmer was fired for cheating

✔️ Ned Fulmer was fired for tarnishing his own brand, and becoming a liability to the company.

#hannah.txt #try guys #ned fulmer #try guys drama #it wasnt the cheating itself that got ned fired #he got fired for having a workplace relationship with a subordinate #which opens the company up to lawsuits about favoritism and unfair treatment #ibr this is what you get for monetizing your relationships #do yall really think ned would be facing this much backlash if he hadn't based his entire persona around being The Wife Guy(tm)#i mean he'd still get some hate for sure but this man literally built his whole brand around loving his wife #like literally worshipping the ground she walked on #only to be caught cheating on said wife. not a good look my dude #i have no sympathy for ned and alex they both suck

17K notes · View notes

blackkatdraws2 · 3 days

Text

Grown men giggling and kicking their feet.... [Blank Scripts AU]

#tsp blank scripts au #THESE TWO HAVE BEEN THE WORMS DANCING IN MY HEAD HELP ME 😭#I love drawing them being in love and all but lets approach it in a calmer way this time #since. you know. I always draw them tearing each other apart [lovingly]#how about I draw them acting like two middle-schoolers being in a relationship for the first time huh?#what if I made them have an innocent moment together huh #what if I drew them being happy and enjoying each other in the moment huh #what if 🤨🤨🤨#I love how normal Stanley looks when next to the Narrator [Black] when he's literally 6.2 ft [Black is 6.9 ft]#him and his tall baddie wife that he somehow got by being a loser #tsp au #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp #tspud #narrator tsp #tsp narrator #stanley tsp #tsp stanley #stannarrator #stanarator #stannarator #stanarrator #my drawing museum

407 notes · View notes

deadshadowcreature · 2 months

Text

Some doodle

988 notes · View notes

togansweep · 1 year

Text

tom's high pitched babygirl voice compilation

#“heeeey☺️”#that's literally my wife #tom wambsgans #succession #tomshiv #tomgreg #succession hbo #vi's stuff

5K notes · View notes

sidsinning · 3 months

Text

Why is the most powerful being in Hell being a total goober cutie who loves his family so attractive man

Mans is the LIVING EMBODIMENT of the "I can be your angle or yuor devil" meme

Was this character legit tailor made for me like what the hell (ha)

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #sidrabbles #the way he's married and adores his tall as fuck wife while being a literal short king #LIKE I'VE LOVED SHORT GUY/TALL GIRL SHIPS MY WHOLE LIFE #LEN X MIKU YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS #HE'S TAILOR MADE TO LEASH ME ISTG

808 notes · View notes

thefrsers · 2 months

Text

I love you. I love you, my wife. I love you.

#911 #911 abc #911 spoilers #911edit #7.02 #tw: flashing lights #athena grant #athenagrantedit #bobby nash #bobbynashedit #bathena #bathenaedit #gifs #mine #oh man oh man when you tell yall i SOBBED so hard here #he literally HOLDING HER UP cos he'd rather die before anything happens to her #the way this man loves his wife with his VERY SOUL #*wails loudly in bathena true love*#if my future hubs aint doing this I DNT WANT HIM

583 notes · View notes

bittersweetyrn · 5 months

Text

big fan of essek thelyss, not the fanon interpretation, which is either "smol bean, tiny fragile elf who's a sweetheart and basically a child" or people mistakenly calling betrayal of one's home country a "war crime" and then proceeding to be flippant about it anyway, but the real Essek

pretentious motherfucker that committed treason bc he though he was smarter than everyone else

learned to float literally just to impress other rich people

canonically neutral evil

basically head spymaster of his country and master of lies but sucks shit lying to his friends

stayed bitchy even after his redemption arc

"there is nothing I would love more than to not be around you all for the remainder of this day"

a space wizard that crushed someone with telekenesis just to show off (the person was already dying)

sexy feet, nice ass, overall hottie

fell in love with a traumatized wizard of his enemy country and it was mutual despite all the betrayal

faggot

gave away state secrets to enemy wizard bc he though he was sexy

discovered time travel with his boyfriend

proceeded to say they shouldn't use time travel (bc now he's a good boy) but was willing to sacrifice everything and help if his bf wanted to use it

once confessed he had such a bad fight with his dad that his dad ran into the demon caves and never returned (essek doesn't feel bad about this at all)

young for an elf but still 120 years old, he called his bf "young man" and flexed on him about how much more evil he is

#anytime I imagine him stealing the beacons its set to the music from Sinbad where eris steals the book of peace #the way people say “he's basically a teenager!” to excuse his actual evil acts #characters are evil and its cool #very much “my guy didn't do that! he did a bunch of other shit tho”#he is all these cool things yet unfortunately the dice were never on his side 😔#I only have the most correct opinions on essek #I literally don't even critrole anymore but he is my bitch ass wife #critical role #essek thelyss #essik theylas #ask me abt my fic series “I sensed we loved each other without knowing”

1K notes · View notes

yea-baiyi · 6 months

Text

say what you want about svsss but hands down the most distraught i have ever been while reading a mxtx novel is after the bing-ge extra. what do you mean he asked shen qingqiu to come with him. what do you mean “it’s not fair”. what do you mean he looked back.

#svsss #luo binghe #luo bingge #lbh #meta stuff #every time i read that part i literally have to just stop to recover #because what the hell. he’s making his escape but at the last moment he turns.#he turns and looks back and then he vanished forever. and the narration is shocked #that it was so easy.#what in the eurydice mangan’s sister and lot’s wife have you done to me #turned into a pillar of salt #i don’t know if i have it in me to be more eloquent about this. it’s just.#out of everything this is just the ultimate tragedy #the fact that it’s just part of an extra. the FIRST extra #i just sit there like i’m supposed to just move on from that????? i’m supposed to read ahead and watch bingqiu fuck #and not want to rip my own heart out??????#i just. i just. i said i’m not ready to get into it with svsss i just know it’ll break me

1K notes · View notes

blackkatdraws2 · 2 months

Text

Whenever Stanley closes his eyes, he can feel the older man's aura surrounding him. [Blank Scripts AU]

#im literally about to pass out #i made this while im about to fall asleep #im not very coherent #my apologies if the description or the meaning of the image doesnt translate very well #i was originally planning on doing more panels but i got tired and shortened it #damn it #but basically this is just The Narrator (Black) emitting his energy out (aura)#it feels really cold #like an ocean of ice #that black mass is NOT the narrator's (Black's) true form #that black mass is like a physical manifestation of what the Narrator's (Black's) aura looks like #(in Stanley's imagination at least)#but Stanley is too much of a simp to care about all that #hug wife... wife very cold but thats okay. hug wife #maybe hug will warm wife up #tsp blank scripts au #tsp au #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #narrator tsp #stanley tsp #tsp stanley #stanley x narrator #narrator x stanley #stanarator #stannarator #stanarrator

468 notes · View notes

jtkys · 5 months

Text

Gojo is a better man than me because I assure you leave me around this man for more than 5 seconds and I’m on my knees confessing my undying love for him SUGURU ONE CHANCE. PLEAAAASEEEE

#would you believe that when I first got into jjk I was like yeah so what’s so good about him I don’t see the appeal #I’m a changed man I swear #HES SO CUTIE PATOOTIE OH AND HIS SMILE AND HIS HAIR AND HIS VOICE 🙁🙁#what a pleasant young man I’m sure nothing bad will happen to him.#how does he have haters he’s literally my?? my wife???#plwas I love him #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #suguru geto #jjk geto #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen geto

474 notes · View notes