#namgyu fluff

[ivonhart]

when you’re trying to find fluff for thanos and/or nam gyu and it’s just smut that’s borderline/just is r*pe like

on MY cellular device? like damn I wanna hold hands with them not have them violate me???? WHY DOES NO ONE WRITE FLUFF ANYMORE

istg I gotta write it all myself at this point

check this out hehehe

[fear-is-truth]

NAM-GYU — RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

➛ ♱ warnings… some nsfw parts ．MDNI

➛ ♱ featuring… shy!reader．clingy!reader．bitchy!reader

shy!reader

ᛝ finds it very cute. too cute. gets a little too much satisfaction from making her flustered.

ᛝ tilts her chin up with a condescending smirk. teases her for stammering. “use your words, baby.”

ᛝ loves coaxing reactions out of her. corrupting her. teasing her, watching her eyes widen when he whispers pure filth in her ear during the worst moments.

ᛝ secretly melts when she gets comfortable to show affection first. if she grabs his hand in public? rests her head on his shoulder? dick goes whoosh.

ᛝ coos mockingly at her when she tries to stifle her moans, covering her mouth with trembling fingers. “oh, don’t do that, baby.” he leans in, lips brushing her ear. “wanna hear every little sound you make.”

ᛝ if she tries to turn her head away, too embarrassed to meet his eyes, he tuts in mock disappointment. fingers curling under her chin, tilting her face back toward him. “you gonna keep acting all innocent when you’re squeezing me like that?”

ᛝ loves how reactive and sensitive she is. when she’s too flustered to even speak, just whining and whimpering, he loves it because he can do all the dirty talking.

ᛝ and when she’s a trembling mess beneath him, eyes glassy, lips parted, still too shy to meet his gaze? that’s his favourite part.

clingy!reader

ᛝ loves her clinginess. thrives off it. makes him feel needed. dangerous, because now he knows he has her.

ᛝ nam-gyu is a touchy person himself, so the fact that he doesn’t have to hide it with her? perfect.

ᛝ “baby, where are you going?” half-whined, half-teasing, as he tugs her back onto the bed.

ᛝ snaps at you sometimes, but it’s never long before he’s smoothing it over, murmuring soft apologies against her temple. she’s not going anywhere.

ᛝ constantly touching her, even if it’s in subtle, subconscious ways. his fingers on the inside of her wrist, his chin resting on her shoulder, his thigh pressed against hers under the table.

ᛝ after sex, he never wants to pull out immediately. he keeps himself buried inside, hands smoothing down her sides, lazy, possessive kisses against her shoulder.

ᛝ if she’s the kind of clingy that always wants his attention, he eats it up. loves knowing that she needs him. if she ever stops being so affectionate, he overcompensates, gets needier than her.

ᛝ sighs when she hugs him from behind, acting put upon, but his fingers find hers anyway, lacing them together.

ᛝ arguments never last long, because she always come crawling back, and he knows it.

ᛝ gets spoiled in the relationship. because she’s always touching him, always doting on him, he starts expecting it. if she doesn’t shower him in attention, he gets sulky and irritated.

bitchy!reader

ᛝ pretends he can’t stand her. calls her a dumb bitch, a stupid cunt. they are constantly at each other’s throats. toxic, borderline hate sex. they fight, and then they fuck, and then they fight again. ad nauseam.

ᛝ pisses her off on purpose just so she’ll grab his collar and snarl in his face: “do it again, see what happens.” he always does it again.

ᛝ the only thing she should never do is insult /emasculate him while he’s high on drugs, otherwise he’ll fly into a blind rage and might actually hurt someone.

ᛝ he gets off on the power struggle. loves that she won’t just give him what he wants. makes it all the more satisfying when she finally does.

ᛝ jealous and possessive asf.

ᛝ insists she’s annoying but gets sulky if she ignores him for too long. often shows up at her place uninvited.

ᛝ secretly admires the way she carries herself. how she doesn’t take shit from other people.

 fear-is-truth 2025 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

[lovemepartly]

bf!namgyu ✩ headcanons

warnings: 18+, smut. some mentions of drinking and drugs. might be a bit ooc.

a/n: sorry if these are shorter than usual, i’ve not been in the mood to write lately :/ speaking of which, it might take me a bit longer to get to requests, but i am working on them, i promise!!

sfw ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

• despite his tough front, namgyu’s a pretty big softie, especially when it comes to you. he’ll climb into your arms at night and will fall asleep almost instantly. plus, he loves it when you play with his hair and scratch his head.

• when he’s not working at the club, he’ll usually spend his nights there and bring you with him. he’ll pull you onto his lap, offering you a sip of his drink or blowing smoke in your mouth. depending on how intoxicated he gets, he’ll make out with you without a care in the world to who is watching.

• he’s extremely possessive and gets jealous easily. when he sees you talking to another guy, he’ll immediately come up to you and wrap his arm around your waist and pull you away.

• namgyu loves it when you wear his clothes; he loves to see you lounge around the house in his t-shirt. when you go out with your friends, he’ll usually lend you his jacket or coat just so everyone knows you’re taken.

nsfw under cut ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

• namgyu is extremely touchy during sex. his hands are always roaming around your body, squeezing and pinching.

• when he’s nestled between your thighs, he definitely loves it when you pull his hair. it drives him crazy and he’ll only get messier with his movements.

• he definitely loves to overstimulate you. to hear you beg and whine and tell him you can’t take any more only makes him smirk.

• he loves getting head from you. when you get on your knees and wrap your lips around his length, that’s enough for him. he’ll thrust into your throat, loving the way you gag and how your eyes tear up. he’ll reach down to push some hair out of your face, muttering, “my pretty girl. so good for me, aren’t you?”

[gds-daisy]

Can u please do #95 from list one ( "quiet, baby, others will hear" ) w sub!namgyu x f!dom reader! With a bit of reader pulling his beautiful hair and degrading him tehee

collide

pairing: namgyu x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT (DNI IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT!), dom!reader, sub!namgyu, unprotected p in v sex, riding, pet names, praise, degradation, hair pulling, mention of orgasms, fluff, etc.

prompt: "quiet, baby, others will hear”

smut prompt special!

Ah, almost peace and quiet at last. It was almost time for lights out, and everyone was accounted for in the shared sleeping area. That was except for you and Namgyu. The two of you had successfully snuck your way out of the common area and into the women's restroom.

See, Namgyu had a rough day to say the least, and you could tell how stressed and worn down he was. When you brought it up to him, he said it was nothing. Classic Namgyu. However, after a while, he admitted the truth and told you everything. That's when you suggested going to the bathroom together. To take care of him.

And lettiing him ride you would do exactly that.

Currently, his cock was softly plowing into you as you set the pace. He had become a disaster on top of you. His hair was all disheveled and sticking to his face with all the sweat produced. Despite looking like hell, he was in heaven. His moans were practically orgasmic as you saw his head fall back in ecstasy. You tug at his hair, forcing his head forward and being met with his angelic face. You loved watching your pretty boy take what he so desperately needs. It wasn't the first time, that's for sure. However, it had always been him taking charge. This was a rare side of Namgyu.

He whines at the sudden force, pretending to hate it...but you knew better than to believe that narrative. You continue to guide his hips back and forth, taking the opportunity to make him rock deeper into you. He feels the difference in movement and pace, which makes him moan in response as the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room almost entirely.

"Quiet, baby, others will hear," you say in a sweet and sultry hushed tone.

"I ca-can't baby... feels so fucking good," he groans out as his cock glides further into your tight walls.

"Watch it. I will stop right now if you continue being a brat. You want me to take care of you or not?" you say in a faux threatening manner.

"Please don't stop...I'll behave. I promise," Namgyu pleads with a sullen look in his eyes.

"Then be a good boy," you coo, almost warning him in a way. Namgyu nods his head, indicating he understood your authority right now. He would never admit it, but he fucking loved how hot you were when you were all bossy.

In protest to his earlier actions, you tighten the grip on his hips and pull him closer to you. "What do you want from me, ‘Gyu?" you ask him, intrigued to hear what his answer would be.

"I want it faster..." he admits in shame, acknowledging his vulnerability in this precise moment. "I think we can make that happen, baby," you assure him. He was looking at you with that pathetic look in his eyes. How could you possibly deny him?

“You can go faster now,” you say to him. That’s all the initiative he needs before plowing his dick into your cunt at an even faster and deeper rate. You gasp as you feel him bottom out inside you. “Fuck…just like that, sweetheart,” you praise into his ear, letting him know just how good he was making you feel. Despite being fucked by him before, you were never prepared for how much his dick would stretch you out. It felt fucking amazing.

Your words of praise seem to egg Namgyu on even more. He doesn’t even have to say anything to confirm your suspicions. The way his hips are practically stuttering tells you everything you need to know.

“Shit…’M gonna cum,” he groans with a raspy voice.

“Tell me that you’re my dirty whore then…” you demand. “Then I’ll let you cum.”

On any other occasion, he wouldn’t let that slide, but he desperately needed to cum and he wouldn’t risk talking back if it cost him his awaiting orgasm. He has no choice but to give in.

“I-I’m your dirty whore,” he lets out with a shaky voice.

“And a good one at that,” you add as you bounce up and down on him, fueling his desire to spill inside you even more.

His erratic movements were accompanied by his balls becoming tight—a telltale sign that he was on the brink of a mind shattering orgasm. The one he so desperately needed.

“Come on, give it to me.” you moan out as you tug at his locks.

“Oh god I-I’m gonna!” is all he manages to get out before his cock spurts out thick ropes of cum, now nestled inside your bruised pussy. You continue to sink on his dick to get him through his heaven sent high. He fucks his cum deeper into you, knowing that’s how the both of you liked it. As Namgyu was stuffing you full, he suddenly hits that part deep inside you that made you cum every single time.

Between the sensation of his cum and his dick stretching you out, it proved to be too much because you could feel the hot coil in your tummy starting to unwind. With a few more thrusts, you manage to milk his entire cock, earning yet another groan from your sweet boy. The newfound sound of panting had quickly died as the two of you rode out your guys’ shared orgasms together.

You slowly pulled yourself off him inch by inch, which allowed him to sit on your lap comfortably. Your fingers combed through his sticky hair as you took a second to admire your boy. He was truly the most gorgeous boy on earth, and nothing would convince you otherwise. Not only that, but he made you feel safe in a way you had never felt before. You made him feel the same way. You guys completed one another.

“I love you so much,” you hear Namgyu suddenly say, breaking the comfortable silence.

“I love you more, ‘Gyu. Don’t ever doubt it for a second,” you softly coo into his ear. He cradles your face in response, now looking deep into your eyes that he loved so very much.

“Thank you for helping me out today. I really appreciate it, baby,” he says.

“I’m always gonna be here for you no matter what. I promise you that,” you reply.

“Good because I don’t know what I would do without you,” he admits with a chuckle before burying his head into your shoulder ever so lovingly. You caress his back with smooth movements of your hand, providing a sense of comfort and tranquility for the both of you.

It couldn’t get any better than this.

[celestialmatcha7]

broken promises pt. 2 | nam-gyu (player 124) [HOPEFUL VERSION]

pairing: baby daddy! nam-gyu x fem! reader

genre: angst and fluff

wc: 2k

summary: y/n reluctantly agrees to meet nam-gyu after he reaches out, hoping to make amends. as he works on rebuilding his life, she finds herself torn between skepticism and the possibility of change. (this is the version where the games doesn't exist)

author's note: part 2 was long overdue. so so so sorry for the long wait. i'm going to add more to the baby daddy! nam-gyu series, because writing this heals my soul. i hope you enjoy this! and also my requests are open. <3333333

The rain pours relentlessly against the city streets, mirroring the turmoil in your heart. You clutch the phone in your trembling hands, Nam-gyu’s name glowing on the screen. He had called you—again. But this time, you don't send it to voicemail.

With a deep breath, you press accept.

“Y/N.” His voice was rough, almost desperate. "Please… don’t hang up."

You hesitate. The weight of his broken promises still clung to you like an open wound, but something in his voice—something raw—made you stay.

"What do you want, Nam-gyu?" you ask, your voice steadier than you expected.

A sigh crackles through the receiver. "I know I messed up. I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I just—I need to see you. Please, Y/N. Just one conversation. Face to face."

Your grip on the phone tightened. You told yourself you were done. That this was the last time he’d get to hurt you. But the way your heart aches at the sound of his voice told a different story.

"And if I say no?" you whisper.

Nam-gyu exhales sharply. "Then I'll respect that. But I need you to know... I never wanted to break you. I never wanted to hurt you. And if I could take it all back, I would."

Silence stretches between the two of you. Outside, the rain continues to fall, blurring the city lights through her window. You know better than to trust him again. And yet, the part of you that once loved him still wonders—could he really change?

"Tomorrow. 8 PM. The café on 5th Avenue," you said before you could stop yourself.

Nam-gyu’s breath hitches. "I’ll be there."

As you hang up, you lean against the wall, closing your eyes. Maybe this will finally bring you the closure you need—or maybe it will shatter what little strength you have left. Either way, you will find out tomorrow.

The next evening, you arrive at the café, your heart pounding in your chest. As you step inside, the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, mingling with the quiet hum of conversation. Your eyes immediately land on Nam-gyu, sitting at a corner table. He looks different—less reckless, more composed—but the same pain lingers in his gaze when he sees you.

“Hey,” he says softly as you sit down across from him.

You fold your hands in your lap. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Nam-gyu swallows, his fingers tapping against the ceramic mug in front of him. “I know I hurt you, Y/N. And I know nothing I say can undo the past. But I’ve been going to rehab. I’m trying to change. I quit working at Club Pentagon. It was too toxic for me.”

Your breath catches in your throat. You study his face, searching for any sign of deception, but all you find is sincerity.

“I got a steady job now,” he continues. “An office job. My cousin pulled some strings and got me in. Nothing fancy, just paperwork and filing, but it’s honest work. I’m finally making an honest living.” He lets out a hollow laugh. “It’s exhausting, actually. Sitting in front of a desk all day, learning things I should’ve known a long time ago. But I need this, Y/N. I need to prove to myself—and to you—that I can do this.”

You don't respond right away, instead tracing the rim of your coffee cup with your fingertip. It was a strange feeling, seeing him like this. Sober. Determined. Regretful.

“I’ll pay off my debts one way or another,” Nam-gyu adds, his voice laced with conviction. “Even if it takes me years, I won’t let my past define me anymore.”

You exhale slowly, your heart weighing heavy in your chest. “Mei’s getting older. She's 5 years old now.”

Nam-gyu’s eyes darken with emotion. “I know.”

“She asks about you sometimes,” you murmur. “She doesn’t understand why you’re not around. And, honestly? I hate that she doesn’t get to see her father.”

His jaw tightens, and he looks away, his fingers curling into a fist. “I hate it too.” His voice cracks slightly. “But I don’t want to be in her life until I can be the father she deserves. Until I can be someone she can be proud of.”

Your throat constricts. For so long, you convinced yourself that he didn’t care—that he had chosen his vices over you, over Mei. But now, hearing him say this, seeing the anguish in his eyes, makes you realize something else.

He does care. Maybe too much.

You take a shaky breath. “I want to believe you, Nam-gyu. I really do. But trust isn’t rebuilt overnight.”

“I know,” he says quickly. “I don’t expect anything from you. I just wanted to tell you. To show you that I’m trying.”

You study him for a long moment, your heart warring with itself. Skepticism and hope clash within you, but for the first time in years, hope doesn't seem so far-fetched.

“Then keep trying,” you finally say. “For Mei. For yourself.”

Nam-gyu lets out a breath, one that seems to carry years of regret. “I will.”

And for the first time in a long time, you think that maybe—just maybe—he means it.

As your conversation with Nam-gyu shifts into a silence that feels surprisingly comfortable, your mind drifts back to Mei. She’s only five, but already, there’s so much of Nam-gyu in her. Her eyes, her smile, even the way she moves—it’s as if she’s his living reflection. You can’t help but marvel at how much she looks like him.

Nam-gyu notices the way your expression softens. “What is it?” he asks gently.

You shake your head, a quiet laugh escaping your lips. “It’s just… Mei. She looks so much like you. Her eyes, her smile—everything. It’s like I’m looking at a younger version of you every time I see her.”

His smile deepens, a soft sense of pride flickering in his eyes. “She’s perfect. Just like you.”

For a brief moment, the world around you seems to disappear, and all that matters is this fragile, hopeful conversation. Mei has become a symbol of what you had—and what you might rebuild, piece by piece.

As the days pass, you watch Nam-gyu work hard to rebuild his life. You can see the change in him—he’s sober, committed, and trying to be a better man. But you know that asking him to immediately step into a fatherly role is too much too soon. Mei is still so young, and the wounds of the past are still healing. So, you decide to give him the time he needs, without rushing him.

One evening, after dinner, you and Mei sit on the couch together, her small fingers twisting the edges of your shirt. The TV flickers softly in the background, but neither of you are paying much attention.

“Mommy,” Mei says, her voice quiet but serious. “When will I see Daddy again?”

You look down at her, your heart fluttering slightly at the mention of Nam-gyu. She’s been asking about her father more frequently lately, the curiosity in her eyes too much to ignore. You smile softly, brushing her hair back from her face.

“We’ll see him soon, sweetheart. When he’s ready,” you say gently, your fingers absently tracing Mei’s hand. “It’s just… sometimes people need a little more time to be ready.”

Mei nods, though she doesn’t fully understand. “Okay.”

Later that night, as Mei drifts off to sleep, you sit by the window, the soft rain tapping against the glass. You take out your phone and stare at Nam-gyu’s name for a moment before texting him.

"Whenever you feel ready to see her, just let me know. I won’t pressure you, Nam-gyu. She misses you, but I want you to come when you’re truly ready to be the father she deserves."

You stare at the message for a moment, your thumb hovering over the send button. There’s so much more you want to say—so many feelings you have—yet this feels right. Simple. Genuine.

You hit send, set the phone down, and lean back in your chair, letting out a soft sigh.

The next morning, as you’re making breakfast, your phone buzzes. Your heart skips a beat when you see Nam-gyu’s name on the screen. You quickly wipe your hands on your apron and pick up.

“Y/N,” Nam-gyu’s voice is soft but steady, “I’m ready. I want to see Mei. I miss her. And I want to be the father she deserves.”

Your heart swells with relief. There’s a gentleness in his voice, and for the first time in a long time, you feel a warmth that hadn’t been there before. You smile, your voice soft. “Whenever you’re ready, Nam-gyu. We’ll be here.”

Later that day, as the sun hangs low in the sky, you and Mei make your way to the park, your footsteps light and full of anticipation. You keep your gaze on Mei as she chatters excitedly about the swings, but your heart races a little. Today feels like a turning point, one you didn’t know would come so soon.

Mei tugs at your sleeve. “Mommy, is Daddy coming soon?”

You smile down at her. “He’ll be here any minute, baby. Are you excited?”

Her face lights up as she nods vigorously. “Yes!”

As you reach the park’s entrance, you spot Nam-gyu sitting on one of the benches near the swings, looking a little out of place. His hands are shoved nervously into his pockets, his eyes scanning the area. He seems lost in thought, as if the weight of the moment has finally caught up with him.

When he finally notices you and Mei approaching, his face softens, and for a moment, he just stares at her. The sight of her—his daughter, the little girl he has missed so much—seems to hit him all at once. His eyes well with tears, and he quickly wipes them away, but it’s too late. The tears are already falling.

Mei skips ahead, oblivious to the emotional storm her father is fighting through, her excitement bubbling over. “Daddy!” she cries, running toward him with open arms.

Nam-gyu stands quickly and opens his arms wide, catching her as she barrels into him. He pulls her close, burying his face in her hair as he whispers, “I missed you so much, baby girl.”

You stand off to the side, watching the scene unfold before you. Your heart swells with a mixture of relief and joy, and you can’t help the tears that threaten to spill from your own eyes. Seeing the two of them together after all this time… it’s everything you had hoped for and more.

As Nam-gyu holds Mei, he notices something—how much she truly does look like him. He chuckles softly to himself, the sound of it breaking the tension in his chest. He pulls back slightly to look at her, his gaze soft and affectionate.

“Well, I guess your mom wasn’t lying,” he says with a small laugh. “You really do look like me.”

Mei blinks up at him, her innocent face full of curiosity. “You think so? Mommy says I look like you!”

Nam-gyu laughs again, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yeah, you definitely got the face. That’s for sure.”

You can’t help but chuckle from a distance, wiping away the tears that have slipped down your cheeks. The moment is so pure, so real. It isn’t perfect—but it’s everything you need.

As Nam-gyu looks over at you, he gives you a small, grateful smile. His tears still glisten in his eyes, but now, there’s something else—hope. He stands up, still holding Mei in his arms, and steps toward you.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he says quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I… I’m sorry for everything. I never wanted to miss out on these years.”

You nod, your heart full. “You’re here now, Nam-gyu. That’s all that matters.”

Mei, still in her father’s arms, wriggles to get down and runs over to the swings. “Daddy, come push me!”

Nam-gyu nods, a wide grin spreading across his face as he follows her to the swings, his eyes never leaving her. As he pushes her gently, you stand back, watching the two of them.

You blink back the last of your tears, your heart light and filled with hope. There are still challenges ahead, but in this moment, with the sun setting behind you and Mei’s laughter filling the air, you know that this is the beginning of something beautiful.

Nam-gyu glances over at you, his eyes full of sincerity. “I’m never going to let go of you two again,” he says, his voice quiet but firm.

You smile softly, nodding as you wipe your eyes one last time. “I know, Nam-gyu. I know.”

And for the first time in a long time, you believe it.

[littlescorp1o]

face card never declines

[hyunsuloves]

Hii!! Would you be willing to write some nam-gyu/player 124 x reader hcs? I just love roh jaewon sm <3

boyfriend nam-gyu in the games.

warnings … this is kinda buns… that’s it

lovely notes … i lowkey hate how his character acts but i love roh jae-won too ᥫ᭡!!

꩜ [ 630 words ]

boyfriend nam-gyu who didn’t tell you he was entering the games. he intended to disappear for a week, and then show up with some bullshit excuse and a large sum of money.

boyfriend nam-gyu who was pissed off beyond belief when he came to find out that you were in the games because of his debt. the salesman recruited you to ease your boyfriend's debt and unfortunately, you couldn’t resist.

boyfriend nam-gyu who wouldn’t allow you to leave his side. it irks thanos a little bit, but he doesn’t really say anything because you and nam-gyu are together.

boyfriend nam-gyu gyu who only votes to leave because of your presence. no amount of money could aid him if you were to die here, and all because of him.

boyfriend nam-gyu who gets into countless arguments over you. he’ll argue over the dumbest shit, like someone bumping into you and not apologizing. he feels the constant need to defend you but he tends to take it a bit far.

boyfriend nam-gyu who constantly has a hand on you. it may be on your waist, his fingers interlocked with yours, or his hands in your hair.

boyfriend nam-gyu who insists on a “good luck kiss” before each game. you both are well aware that he just wants an excuse to kiss you, but who’s going to complain about it?

boyfriend nam-gyu who would lose his mind if thanos were to say something about you. if something he said was the slightest bit of suggestive, he might actually fight him about it.

boyfriend nam-gyu who loathes seeing any other player talking to you. even if it’s simplistic small talk to pass the time, he feels a surge of jealousy seeing other people interact so casually with you.

boyfriend nam-gyu who has you alongside him during every game. you don’t really have a choice because he has a vice grip on your hand. you couldn’t go anywhere even if you wanted to.

boyfriend nam-gyu who encourages you to stay away from thanos. he knows he’s a terrible person and despite hanging out with him, he doesn’t want you anywhere near a person as heinous as him. he definitely doesn’t want you taking whatever drugs thanos has on him.

boyfriend nam-gyu who always offers you a portion of his food. he’s a little greedy and secretly wants to keep it all to himself, but he puts your well-being before him, so he always offers you a piece.

boyfriend nam-gyu who sleeps in the bed directly next to yours. the beds are so tiny and can barely fit two people, so he finds peace in sleeping in the bed adjacent to yours.

boyfriend nam-gyu who only allows himself to be vulnerable with you during lights out. he doesn’t want any other players to view your affection as a weakness and use it against either one of you. so, the only time you see the true doting state of your boyfriend is when no one else can see.

boyfriend nam-gyu who wants nothing more than to be affectionate around you, but he knows he can’t for the sake of both of your safety. if he wants the two of you to make it out alive, he’s well aware that he has to put on an uncaring facade in the face of everyone else.

boyfriend nam-gyu who would kill someone for you. it’s a terrifying concept, yet not an unusual one amid the deaths all around. it’s slightly unnerving how quick he’d end other players life in your defense.

boyfriend nam-gyu who has plans to take you out somewhere after you get out of here. he’s the reason you’re here in the first place, and the least he can do is try to make it up to you.

[thanosspills]

A Night Out With "Team Thanos"

Synopsis: You and your new-found friends survived the games together after X's win the majority vote. Now that your roomies, a typical weekend with the group is cheering Thanos on at his show, getting wasted, and dancing at Nam-gyu's hot-spot club.

This is a continuation of my last team Thanos story! You can read it here (You don't need to read it to read this story, they're mainly just headcannons!)

Characters: Se-mi/player 380, Thanos/player 230, Nam-gyu/player 124, Min-su/player 125, Gyeong-su/player 256

Squid game au outside of the games, very light-hearted :) ...maybe

Reader is dating Thanos!

Warnings: drinking

"Hell no I'm not wearing that." Se-mi immediately shuts down your suggestion as she glares at the short black dress you picked out for her. "But you'd look so hot in it!" you argue. She rolls her eyes and fidgets with her lip ring, her go-to move when contemplating something. "Babe!" You hear Thanos shout from the bathroom. You throw the black dress at Se-mi and rush over to him.

Thanos is standing in front of the mirror looking defeated. "How the fuck do you get these to stick up?" Thanos gestures at his short pieces of hair on the sides of his head cut to look like horns. They sadly droop sideways, sticking out horizontally. You burst out a giggle, "Hey don't laugh! We have to go and I look stupid." He pouts. You compose yourself and grab the hair gel on the counter, "I'm sorry baby I'm sorry" You say, still holding in laughter. You stand on the tips of your toes to get a good angle on his head as he looms over you. You rub the gel into your fingers and run them through his purple strands of hair, pointing them upward and slightly curling them so they stay up just how he likes them. "There you go." You smile at Thanos, admiring how damn good he looks. You set the gel back down on the counter, Thanos's eyes locked on you. He grabs your wrist and pulls you back toward him. He places his other hand on your waist, moving it down to your ass as he pulls you into a deep, prolonged kiss. It was his way of saying thank you, and god you liked that so much more then the words.

"You're gonna be late to your own damn show if you don't hurry." Se-mi interrupts standing at the doorway with Min-su and Gyeong-su next to her. She's wearing the dress you gave her, her arms crossed uncomfortably. "Yo, Thanos looking fly my bro!" Gyeong-su excitedly shouts, doing little finger horns above his head. Thanos grins and dabs Gyeong-su up, before shouting "LET'S GOOO!" as he jumps through the living room toward the front door. You smile at Se-mi, "Look at youuu!" you tease. She chuckles and playfully nudges you, "Shut up." You turn back toward Min-su, asking, "What do you think?" Min-su shyly smiles and looks at the ground. "She looks good.."

Thanos dabs up the bouncer as you and the group walk into the club, his arm draped around your shoulder. Nam-gyu spots you guys and marches over to Thanos, "There you are! Fuck, dude you were almost late again." Thanos grins, "Chill bro, the fans love me they don't mind waiting." Thanos turns to you and dramatically kisses the top of your head, "See you on stage, senõrita!' He skips away and Nam-gyu angrily speeds up to catch up with him.

Thanos's presence takes over the entire club, everyone was chanting and jumping up and down to each song. After the games, Thanos used his money to up the production of his music and found his footing again as a rapper. His success skyrocketed, giving his career a second life. He honestly didn't need to play at a club, but he enjoys the personality of a local crowd and likes bringing attention to Nam-gyu's work. You and Gyeong-su are jumping up and down, rapping Thanos's lyrics at each other. Gyeong-su had been to so many of his concerts before the games he was better at keeping up, which you were slightly jealous of. He always teased you about being a bigger fan. Se-mi swayed and sipped on her drink as Nam-gyu was forcefully gripping Min-su's shoulders from behind and shaking him to the song.

Thanos blew the crowd an animated kiss and ran backstage, immediately swallowing you with a big hug. He peppered your face in kisses, the adrenaline of performing still pumping through his body. He would always say his two favorite drugs were you and the stage. Gyeong-su ran up to you guys, drunkenly bouncing up and down "BRO THAT WAS FUCKING WILD! YOU WERE A BEAST UP THERE!"

"SHOTS FOR THE V.I.PS!" The bartender poured up two shots for each of you, everyone clinked glasses and threw them back. Min-su always coughed and gagged after each one, and Nam-gyu always gave him a hard time for it. Nights like these made everyone forget the games ever existed. You guys weren't drinking to forget, you were all just friends, making memories to help combat the brutality you collectively witnessed. It's what made you guys so close. The tension between the group in the games quickly decimated once you guys made it out and agreed to stick together.

You were feeling the looseness and euphoria the alcohol gave you, Gyeong-su darted toward the dance floor as one of his favorite rap songs started playing. Se-mi, Nam-gyu and Min-su followed. Thanos stood up, "Come on senõrita let's dance!" He shouted. You giggled, "Okay, okay hang on!" You quickly grab what's left of your drink and down it. You turn toward the bar top to set it back down, and your heart drops at the sight of something you swear wasn't there a second ago. A brown paper business card laid flat on the counter. Sharp, agonizing memories flood back to you. It was exactly how you remembered it, despite you trying so hard to forget all of it. You pick it up with shaky hands. A circle, a triangle, and a square decorated the top. How the fuck was this possible? You turn it over, reading the familiar digits. "456-034"

I saw a couple people asking for more so heres a part two :)) Sorry this ones kinda short. I love writing for team Thanos so much let me know what you think!!

[amoristt]

the night falls like heaven || 2

part one (x)

「 ✦nam-gyu/reader ✦ 」 tags: sfw // hurt/comfort, mild sexual themes, mild violence, not as angsty as the first one lol, namgyu is a fake idgafer,

a/n: im so happy to get this final out UGH i do have one more small piece related to this mini series ( wink wink iykwim) that ill get posted asap! i hope you guys enjoy hehehe word count: 7.5k | songs i listened to (x) (x) original request (x)

・❥・When you open your eyes on the dawn of the third day, the first thing you’re met with other than the ceiling is the hushed whispering of other players already awake. Chatter that grew by the minute, drowned out below you. 

Sitting up was a hassle for sore, sore muscles and aching bones that had been shaken to the very marrows. You remembered praying, staring up into the white tiles above, for god to give you an easier day than the last. 

You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the third game. Mingle was a monster bearing teeth and a gaping maw, biting and snarling and killing. Blind panic, grabbing hands and twisting fingers. Room after room watching the light in someone's eyes go out through the miniscule gap in the heavy doors. 

Almost every second of the game was spent in apprehensive terror, watching the room go round and round until you were dizzy between the colors and blood. The way fear had stricken you made it hard to focus on anything except numbers and faces, split second decisions that showed only the truest of nature, tailing the few people you’d grown acquainted with into rooms bathed in muted greens and oranges. 

Nam-gyu was nowhere to be seen- or perhaps you were just simply overlooking him, lost in the sea of moving bodies and swaying feet. 

Groups of six became five, and then four. One after the other, names of those you’d never gotten the chance to learn became grave markers. Four, and then three. 

Over the days, you’d grown quite close to a player who’d happened to choose the bed a couple feet from yours, the both of you chatting about the people scattered about the dormitories. He was a kind man with dark hair and even darker eyes that never seemed to feel untrustworthy. Normal enough, friendly enough. Quick to let you join his team during the six-legged race even though you’d found him with a sour expression and an ever more sour attitude. 

So when the number of players per room dropped to two, you jumped to grab his hand and yank him into a room. The least you could do, you think. He had been so kind when you kept messing up your minigame, managed to gather your confidence into the final try, you owed it to him to get him through his game. 

You threw a door open and let him jump inside. For just a second, all the chaotic cries were muffled through the thick walls. 

But only for a second. Because something true and powerful ripped you back by your tracksuit, dragged you right out from that room and sent you skittering on the floor feet away. The wind knocked from your lungs, the back of your head bouncing off the floor with a crack. Fireworks exploded behind your eyes, obscuring the scene before you, but not so much to miss a man slipping into the room after forcibly taking your place.

When you finally bring yourself to your feet and try to pry the door back open, you see your friend held back by that damned player all the way in the corner. 

“Run!” Your friend cries. No sound reaches you. “Run!”

The step back you took was shaky, your mind swimming, lost under the ocean. Heat flooded your skin, prickly and loud. Your heart was a thrashing beat, beat, beat, in your ears. 

Outcries and players beating on doors in the corners of your eyes. 

You were going to die. 

The first thing you think of, standing there frozen in place, watching your friend try in vain to free himself from the other player’s (your murderer’s) grip, was what death would be like. Doors slam shut, rooms occupied with poor souls clutching at the window trying to pry the doors open.

The player holding your friend back gave you sorry, sorry eyes despite it all. 

You hoped the afterlife would be kinder than this. 

And then, with seconds to live, you think of Nam-gyu. The time spent with him argues with the pit of hours spent wasted. Years of wondering and then days of having. It was never good for you, not really, but you loved him in a way that made you weak in the knees. And you missed him so, so deeply that when you’d locked eyes with him on day one there was this little part of you that hoped he did, too. 

Clearly, he did. And you fought against him like a bull, his hands tearing away on your horns, all anger and sneers. A piece of you rearing its head, an angry beast that would prickle at the very thought of his name. A suit of rage to hide away that broken hearted girl standing in the doorway, wishing he’d stop her. 

All that. Just to let him back in. 

If you had known this was the end, perhaps you would have let him prove himself.

You’re yanked to the side so intensely you almost drop to the ground like a stone through murky waters. Running, somehow, even though you couldn’t feel your legs. Everything is a blur of colors and flashing pinks, your brain’s gears have gone haywire and firing blanks in the disarray. When you’re getting your footing back, and your eyes have decided to process the sight before you, you’re drowned out in green covering every corner. 

Metallic thudding and muffled screams. You’re spun around on your heels so quickly it almost made you tip over all over again.

“Why the fuck were you just standing there?!” 

You hear his voice before you see his face. 

When you do, and Nam-gyu’s blocking that abhorrent neon light beating over your skin, it feels like all the gears have stopped. Tunnel vision, all else echoing away in chambers far forgotten. His hands drag from your shoulders to your face, tries to gather the bits of you scattered outside the room. 

“What’s going on with you, huh? Listen to me!”

He’s angry. Or, at least, he looks like it- sounds angry too. But the way his eyes are scanning you, searching you over in noticeable distress tells you otherwise. Fingers running through your hair, tips dancing through your locks until suddenly they nudge up against something so sharply sensitive that it makes you leap. He’s quick to stop you when you try to shove against his chest. 

“Hold still,” Fingers still searching, the palms flat against the sore spot you’d cracked against the hard floor. “You hit your head.”

Not angry, after all. Even the animosity in his tone has melted into something quieter. He draws back and checks his hands for blood. 

“I’m fine.” You have this idea to push Nam-gyu away from you. For some reason, you don’t. You lean into him. Maybe it’s because your head is still struggling to support your brain. Or, maybe, it’s because at that moment you were grappling with the reality that was him being one of your final thoughts. Again. 

Flirting with death was becoming a trend with a common denominator. 

You bury your face into his chest and let yourself feel protected for the first time in years. For a moment, Nam-gyu tenses. Unsure, disbelief. 

“Thank you.” Your voice was a gentle hum that vibrates against his chest, and sticky tears are dampening your water lines, lost in his tracksuit. Wakes him up, muscle memory wraps his arms around your body. You can’t hide the way you tremble like a leaf.

And you can’t hide the way he soothes it all out, rests his chin against the top of your head and lets you use him to find yourself in one piece.

You thank him again, even when he says not to. You thank him, and thank him, and thank him until the door unlocks and you follow him out like a braindead zombie. Pools of blood, now more than ever, are splattered along the floor. 

You see yourself among them.

Still a meandering zombie all the way back to the dormitories. The top bunks have all been taken down, marking the end of lives. There’s a pit in your stomach that only alleviates when you lock eyes with your friend- and this stupid grin explodes over your face when he realizes you lived. He’s across the room from you now, but he’s warm all the same. 

It takes a long time to find a new bed to call your own, but when you do, you hope laying down will help you with the thoughts rattling around in your skull. 

.

Hours later, you’re still drowning in thoughts. 

I do know you. That's exactly why I won’t be on your side. 

Your throat strickens. A million thoughts are bursting your brain at its very seams and spilling out from the cracks. Chatter is endless in the dormitory, but you loiter in uncanny silence. 

You know that I can’t stay with you. Never again. 

The extraordinary disdain so profound it had scared even you to hear it rolling off your tongue. Standing before you, ears flat and flickering tail tucked, an unending urge to control, Nam-gyu had been the very same man you’d deserted for all those years. But the core of you had been so blue it would frost to the very touch, sapphire walls of licking flame to keep anyone and anything out. Even as you found companionship in the presence of others, your mind called for him until you’d hushed it with an onslaught of terrible, terrible memories at his own hands. 

But then you almost died, ripping the cord back on your third attempt at the spinner, watching it tumble fruitlessly as your heart thudded in your ears. Finally getting it, and still barely passing the finish line with your lives intact. It rocked you- changed you, but only in the ways you didn’t notice right away. Walking back into that dormitory, frightened as rabbits before great jaws of teeth, the first thing you fancied yourself to see was him. 

You felt something real when you did- something forgotten and dusty creeping into the forefront of your mind. 

And then he went and saved your life during Mingle. 

Plucked you from the claws of death itself and dragged you into that washed out green-lit room, the colors hueing off your skin and glistening in his eyes when he grabbed your face to check on you. The distress of his expression, the red-hot regard for you to be in one piece, to be in his hold again after so long… It rewired something in your fuzzy brain. Clarity, or illusion, settled and fired echoing shots of previously snuffed out passion to life. 

Reminded you why you fell in love with him, why you never wanted to be without him. More specifically, why being his girlfriend, his one and only, was so important. 

You had known from the start that you were his. You knew it the first night he’d picked you up on his night off and drove you around the city, watching the lights sing in the hues of his eyes. You knew it when he crept into your apartment at a very whim after a long shift, particularly worn and falling into your bed with beautiful ease. 

You knew it the first time he kissed you, eager and fervent. And you knew it the first time you felt him inside of you. Heavy, filling, the perfect piece to all that you needed. 

At the end of the day, you knew it was always you and him- until that fact began to waver and fade, and you found that resolve cracking. Disappearing for weekends at a time, never returning a text or a call, until suddenly it was two in the morning and he was at your door, and you’d barely even get the chance to rub the sleep from your eyes before he was pushing you into the walls and stripping you down to your very bones. All teeth and grabbing hands and your voice chanting his name through the silence. 

A flame roaring so deep and red hot it scorched at the touch. 

It was such a small request, you felt- labels. Be mine, be mine, be mine so I may give myself entirely to you and trust the fall on the way down. You needed that reliability, you needed to know that he held you as you held him. And, lord, you had been so sure of yourself. Brought it up as you ran your fingers along his chest absently, exposed and naked and shimmering with the hazy afterglow of sex. 

No had caught you off guard so severely you had to ask him to repeat himself. The second time you heard it, it hit you like a cold bucket of water splashing overhead. Drenched, chilly down to your very bones. Air ripped from your lungs, mouth dry when he proceeded to laugh at you. 

“Be serious.” He’d chittered. “I’m too busy for all that.” 

Voice wavering, tears already threatening to build in your eyes as you spoke, I am serious. 

“Don’t be a bitch, okay?” Hands touching your naked sides, wrapping around you like slithering snakes threatening to drag your life from the confines of your skin. A touch that felt as slimy as his voice sounded. “We’re fine like this.”

“So what, you just want to fuck and call it a day, forever?”

Lips finding your neck. 

“Come on. You know I like you.” Licks up your jugular, doesn't notice the way you aren’t shivering at the feeling, locked up. 

“If you like me then be my boyfriend.” His ceiling was mundane, void of anything particularly eye-catching, but you couldn’t tear your gaze off.

“I’m busy.”

“…Not too busy for sex, though.”

He pulled back to look at you, this growing sneer on his lips. “What’s gotten into you, huh?”

“Come on, is it really so bad? Being my boyfriend?” You sweetened, tried to soften him. “I just wanna hear you say it, y’know?”

Nam-gyu had tensed at the word the first time, and he did just as well the second time around. Prickles at every word. 

“We’re not fucking-” He gets up and you’re cold, and you’re heart broken and there’s rage simmering somewhere in your belly. “What we have is fine. Don’t complain about shit.”

“Seriously Nam-gyu? You show up and you fuck me and but that’s all you want out of life?” When he doesn’t answer, that simmering rage bubbles into more, swinging your legs from around his bed and bringing yourself to your unsteady feet. “Tch. Fine. Forget about it. ‘Too busy’. God’s sake- If you’re too fucking busy have you considered working a little less?”

Nam-gyu’s jaw tenses and he scoffs, climbs out of bed and passes you right by to throw himself limply onto the couch. 

“Can you chill? How about you focus on you and I’ll focus on me, yeah?”

You took all of five minutes to throw your clothes on and find yourself running down the halls of his apartment. All you bore was your clothes, your phone, and your dignity. Rest be damned, scrambling to get to the privacy of your home with eyes so blurred with tears you almost didn’t make it. 

Months and months to scrub him from your body, even longer for the weight of his presence to go unnoticed in your mind. Even longer to stop seeing him in your dreams, and feeling your heart flutter with every knock at the door. 

You should hate him, still. 

But oh god, you can’t.

And oh god, the way he looked at you in that room, all hands clutching and grabbing and touching you so gingerly you wonder if you’d died somehow, after all. In that moment you wondered how he could ever hurt you at all. Beautiful and warm. 

Years to forget him. 

Exactly 3 days for him to sink back in as if he’d never left. 

Corners of your brain would always house him, the door was always propped open and all the windows unlocked. Nam-gyu would find himself right back where he had started within you, leaving dirty footprints through your hallways.

The differences in him were subtle creatures, if you’d blink you’d miss it at times, but he’s trying and that means he gives enough of a shit. He’s waiting for you to open your arms and welcome him back in so he could make a mess of you all over again- and though you may be a fool, you decide to throw the poor dog within him a particularly tasty bone. 

You don’t sit next to him by any teams, but after grabbing your dinner from the guard you make a point to settle upon a set of steps within Nam-gyu’s general vicinity. It’s an invitation- one that reaches him in alluring calls the very moment he sees you lean back and catch his eyes. As always, he was eager to take that chance, hastily getting up from what little ‘friends’ he had and scurrying over to sit beside you. 

At first you don’t offer any words. There’s a certain weight in the gapping pause, like he’s at the edge of his seat, leaning on every inhale and exhale of yours. Dark eyes and a pointed expression that can never quite seem to figure you out. He waits, and he waits for you to break the silence whilst spinning the rings on his fingers, his meal yet to be touched at his lap. Your tongue swipes out over your lips.

“Thank you.” Tentative, careful. But you break the stillness regardless like a stone through water.

“You already said that.” 

“I know, but I need to say it again. You could have gotten yourself killed, you know.”

Poking through his rice with his chopsticks, all he offers is a dull shrug, like it doesn't matter. Your eyes narrow, and you mock him with a dramatic shrug of your own.

“That’s all? Really?” He won’t meet your face, chewing the edge of his lower lip. You scoff. “Does your life mean that little to you?”

“How can you ask that? It means a lot to me. I don’t wanna die.”

“You almost did.”

He finally finds your eyes, expression caught somewhere between the dance of upheaval and agitation. Perhaps he doesn’t even understand it himself- the way he’d thrown his life around so easily for you. You’re pushing him, so you reign back, let yourself soften just enough. 

“You could have died, and you did it anyway?”  

“Damn it,” He sets his food down and rubs his eyes, dragging at the skin. “Why’re you always asking so many questions?”

“Because you never tell me things on your own.” You pluck the fried egg from your box, chewing down the cold food. When you take a bite, Nam-gyu does too, whether he means to move in tandem with you intentionally or not. 

“I tell you lots of things.”

“Sure, but nothing I ever really wanna know.”

“Alright.” He puts his food down again, swallows his mouthful of rice, restless. “Ask me shit, then.”

You know the smart thing would be to have a couple buffer questions, little things real easy for him to digest, but the words leave you before you get the chance to pull them back down to the pandora within your chest. 

“Why did you turn me down?”

It should catch him off guard, but it doesn’t. His blinks down at you, jaw tensing, those eyes of his always so stormy and unsure. Once again, all he manages for you is a shrug. He’s hiding right before your very eyes, all hands reaching out whilst slapping yours away when you reach back. A scared, hurt, biting dog. The tendency to howl for your love was beastly and he never stopped bearing those teeth. 

“Please,” A sweet touch to his arm, a downcast to your lovely eyes. “I have to know why you didn’t want me.”

“I did want you.” He says it so fast you have to take a second to process him. Your brows knit, the early stages of confusion and anger bubbling under your skin as you set your bento box down. Your temper was always the first to bloom.

“Clearly not, or you wouldn’t have let me leave.”

He swallows, tongue poking out to swipe over his lips. “I freaked out.”

“Really? Because I remember you just sitting there.”

“I know.” His fingers find his mouth, teeth catching on the hangnails he’d worked into the nail beds during bouts of anxiety. “I was freaking out. I didn’t want all that extra shit and then you left and I-...” He swallows again, mind searching for all the words. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d really go.”

You have to digest it all for another moment, a pregnant pause as you do. The look on his face that day, so mullish and nonchalant even though you knew with every fibre of his being that he was anything but never left you. Haunted you, drew you away from anyone that shared even an ounce of similarities. You saw his smirks, heard his laughter, saw the outlines of his posture in strangers and it always made you sick to your stomach. 

There’s a thousand questions, now, but you hone in one in specific. 

“Extra shit?”

“Extra shit. Like-... Girlfriend, boyfriend shit…”

“Nam-gyu, we did have girlfriend, boyfriend shit.”

“Yeah but then you wanted to go and make it some official thing. If we already had it, why bother? All labels do is cause problems. What we had… It was good. It was fine.”

Your skin is starting to heat up. There’s a fall to your tone when you slip your hand off his arm and murmur, “Fine, for you.”

His eyes follow your hand retracting as if you’d cut him, shoulders slumping. “...Why didn’t it work for you?”

“I really liked you. I needed all that extra ‘official’ shit, whether you think it’s stupid or not. It meant a lot to me. It meant that you were serious about me, that you wanted me more than the… Fun. we had.” The words leave you forlorn, alive but peaking at the brims with defeat. “I knew I was yours, but… I wanted-... Needed to know that you were mine, too.”

“I was yours!” Nam-gyu leans back hard, terse and pointed with this sullen desperation around him that cried hear me. “I was yours and I didn’t need some stupid name to prove it.”

It’s a tale as old as time, true as it can be when he’s bunching his sleeves up, gripping hard to the inner fabrics, growing frustrated and antsy under the glint of your spectacle. His skin twitches like it’s its own separate entity, like he has to squeeze and clutch and drag to get it to settle back over his muscles and nerves. You’re sure you’re under there right now, worming paths through his veins and into his brain like a sneaky little parasite he could never seem to shake. 

All it takes is a gentle touch to his arm again. Reminds him that you’re right there, beside him. 

And then he’s giving up. Losing his edge, losing his temper but crushing the rolling bites of anger into a simple longing itch of you. He’s trying to clamp his mouth shut but you’re dragging it all out of him anyways, cast by cast. It’s a gratifying satisfaction you never knew could scratch so good. You’d wanted it since the start- all these swirling emotions sputtering from his lips so you could lap up every sound. 

Fingers fall from his tracksuit. You eye him, meet his dejection face to face. 

“Why was being my boyfriend such a terrible thing to you?”

Nam-gyu’s expression falls miles below anything else you’ve seen thus far, somehow. Drawn and weathered, far away down into his lap and hiding himself within the darks of his eyes to escape your gaze. 

“I didn’t want anything to change.” Strands of hair slip past his ear and hang around the frame of his face, further shielding him. “I didn’t think… I don’t know what I thought.”

“Didn’t think what?” It’s like pulling teeth, you find, extracting the bits of him he’d clocked years into burying. You coax him anyway, and he finds your light with compulsory desire. 

“I thought I didn’t want it.”

 “It, or me?”

“It. It really got under my skin. You, got under my skin.” When he looks at you, you can truly see the mask breaking away into shards. A person suit coming untwined as the real him bloomed. “Girlfriend had a lot of… weight to it. I didn’t want all of that, but you then left, and I don’t know.”

And thus, that nonchalant squarecrow he’d planted onto that couch all those years ago is gone in the blink of an eye. You remembered him ugly and defiant in the moment, but you had overlooked the smirk of anxiety. The way he watched every move you made, the way he rubbed red into the skin of his hands with his fingers itching to drive into something, anything to release the tension. 

I thought I didn’t want it.

A weight settles in your chest as the being of him crawls further into your ribcage, carefully.

“...How do you feel, now?”

Eyes travel from where your touch meets his skin, up to your shoulders, and then to meet your line of sight. His lips twitch, parting, but he’s searching for the words. Searching for you, you realize, reaching and begging to be taken out from the cold. 

“I thought you died earlier.” He blurts. It throws you off guard, but your perturbation is only as long as it takes for him to continue with the ghost of fright still saturating the memory. “After the six-legged race, I thought you died, and it felt like it was my fault.”

 “Hold on, I chose to not join you.” Your brows knit, clutching the fabric of his tracksuit a little tighter. He just shakes his head. 

“If you had died, I don’t know what I would have done. It was only for a few minutes, but fuck. I just kept thinking I shouldn’t have let you say no.”

A cross between amusement and empathy shapes your lips into an uptick, your palm dragging upwards to his bicep. “That’s the problem we keep having, Nam-gyu. When are you gonna’ realize you don’t ‘let me’ do anything?”

“Oh, I know it already. Trust me.” A sigh leaves him but it almost sounds like a scoff. 

The recollection of your momentary loss eats at him. In all the years you’d been gone from his life, a ghost turned into forlorn fleeting blips of memories, you could still read him like your favorite book. Line for line, word for word. Every character and detail etched into your mind, a glorious museum packed to every corner with him, him, him. 

There’s this part of you that’s coming to life again, rising from the ashes not so much like a roaring phoenix but this gentle stream of embers singing the tips of your soul. Like an old battery, a feeling that comes from deep, deep, within. The uncanny urge to sooth out all those tensions stoning over his muscles and push his hair from his face as he always does. 

“I didn’t realize you had been that upset, earlier.”

Which is a lie. Truth be told, when you’d managed to find your feet back into that dormitory, the first thing you sought was him. And he was on you, quick, teary and red. In that moment, you could see the way he felt as though he could breathe again. You all the same- this all consuming relief washing over you like a wave from head to toe. 

He was the first thing on your mind when you’d walked in, and he was the last thing on your mind when you fell asleep that night. 

Nam-gyu’s breath stutters as he nods.

“I almost did.” You murmur, feeling the blitz of terror that’d driven into your heart during your round. “I kept fucking up the spinner, and my teammate lied about knowing how to play Ggongi. Because of us, we barely even made it with a second left. You wanna know something?” It takes a second for him to look you in the eyes, but he does, and you smile pathetically. “I remember thinking to myself, man, I should have gone with you. And then you went and saved my life earlier and I felt like such a…” 

He blinks at you, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“I felt like such a bitch.”

For a couple seconds, he doesn't react, but when he does, he leans back and clicks his tongue. His lips tuck upwards and he’s trying to not smile- your heart soars. 

“You can say it this time,” You giggle, nudging him. “I won’t be mad.”

Another shake of his head, those black strands falling even further from his ear. “Yes you will.”

Tongue swiping out over your lips, you can feel the energy lifting back up, buzzing and trilling like a spring day melting away the laundering billows of snow. Something blooms there with beautiful petals under the sun. 

“You haven't answered my question.” You chirp. He looks at you, and you’ve got him now, all his attention and all his warmth. Subconsciously, you lean towards him. And he does the same. “How do you feel now?”

There’s a heaviness that adopts the space between your bodies. Heartbeats and staggered breaths moving in tandem, a rhythm you knew all too well. All the time apart, bitter and spiteful and angry, just to realize that he’d never truly left the closets of your soul. You knew him like your own self, knew all his fine tunings and the jagged edges of his resentful anxieties.

Nam-gyu takes in the very essence of you with those all seeing eyes of his. 

“I never stopped thinking about you.” 

The world stops turning all at once when he speaks. 

Oh god, how your heart bursts into flames, unaware of how badly you’d been wanting this. Like getting a taste of the finest wine, or a forbidden fruit, so sweet and perfect and dripping down your chin. A confession spills from you in the stream. Years of snuffing out that licking flame just for it to combust into a raging wildfire at his whim. 

You can’t stop yourself. 

“I haven't, either.”

A version of you from three years ago howls out in retribution.

But then it’s hushed with the doe of his expression, leaning in like every word out of your mouth is gospel. His own personal bible, his own personal heaven. When you tell him, his breath leaves him in a broad rush of air.

A  voice echoes over the speakers, chopping chunks out of the palpable tension growing. Lights out in five minutes. 

For a long moment, you both just watch each other. The raw brunt of emotions is palpable, thick over your mind and body like a sheet of yearning tension. 

But Nam-gyu speaks first after he glances towards where your bed had been, gone as the number of players dwindled and the beds were rearranged to compensate. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

“I found a different bed.” You don’t tell him that you purposely chose an empty bed closer to his, but when you point to it, you can see the pleased expression drawn out from the disappointment. 

“If you get nervous, come to mine.” He says suddenly, and you blink at him. 

“Nervous?”

“Just saying.” Fingers catching his sleeves, bunching the fabric up. “You can if you want.”

‘If you want’. He’s learning after all. 

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’m gonna get to bed, okay? I’ll come talk to you in the morning.” 

You say it so softly, like it could wound him. Perhaps it does regardless, however, because the look he gives you in return is especially pained. Hates that your getting up, hates that there’s going to be meters and meters of metal frame work and sleeping bodies filling the spaces that lead to you. He almost grabs you, fingers popping out from under his sleeves, but he reels himself back in and instead leans back against the wall of the step and watches you. 

Leaning down, you kiss his cheek, and you pretend you don’t notice the way his breath lodges into his throat when you do.

.

It’s quiet that night. This weight has settled over like a blanket of smog threatening to snuff you out everytime your breath leaves your lungs. There’s this irritation stuck within you- a certain twist and churn within your guts that makes you shift positions ceaselessly. The present arguing with the past, years of growth and the endless tumble back down to where you’d begun. The mindless, dangerous joy of landing flat on your back under him all over again. 

Laying on your side doesn’t work, your brain far too busy behind your eyes. You give laying on your back one more shot, eyes staring up at the bottom of the bunk above you, but it doesn’t help. Nam-gyu still floods your mind no matter what you do.

Fuck, you still see him. Those beautiful angles and the slopes of his cheekbones, the feeling of dragging your hands down his shoulders to his chest and marking every last inch. 

He’s saying your name within the confines of your skull, the sound echoing through your dome. 

You’re hearing him now, too? Great. As if it wasn't bad enough before. He’s taking over your mind, your body, and now you’re having to audibly hear him like a teasing ghost paying you visits of desire. You’re the same person you were three years ago, for god’s sake. After all you’d done to move on he’s still there under your skin, working his way through the ridges and bumps of your brain. 

“Hey, are you even awake right now?”

Wait- that’s not in your head. 

You launch up with a gasp sputtering in your throat, eaten by the sudden lurching fear of a dark figure leaning over your bed. The knee jerk reaction to scream fails you, as does your strength when the figure leans in close and you try to shove them away hopelessly. 

“Stop, stop! I’m not gonna’ do anything.”

Oh, it is Nam-gyu. He’s just decided to come and sneak up beside your bed like a creep in the darkness and properly scare the living daylights out of you. The sudden plummet of your nerves makes you wheeze out a sigh of relief and you toss yourself flat onto your mattress. Your hands cover your face, dragging the skin down in irritation. 

“I thought I was going to die.” You hissed.

“Come on. Seriously?” He sat at the edge of your bed, and you’re so fucking relieved it’s not some random player coming to sweeten the pot, that you let him without a word. 

“I didn’t realize it was you.”

“Who else would it be? Thanos?” 

“Yes, actually.” You smirk at him through your fingers. “That’d really bust your balls, wouldn’t it?”

“Don’t say that shit.” He grunts, huffing. “You being serious?”

He looks pathetic, even despite the way his brows collect in annoyance. You used to find that cute about him- all angry and ruffled on the outside but always this anxious, soft little thing on the inside. So pent up with nowhere to go, clinging to the few things that he gives a shit about but no means to show it. 

You still do find it cute. At least a little bit, anyways. You must because you find your lips tugging upwards before you can stop them. 

“No, obviously. Your friend is fucking weird.” Saying it like he isn’t weird, too, is a funny thing. But his weird is different in your eyes- better. 

You start to wonder if maybe things were changing, again. Reverting and revisiting a side of yourself he’d forced you to abandon. 

You also start to wonder if that's a good thing. It’s hard to tell with Nam-gyu. He has a way of making the things so terrible for you feel so, so good. 

He’s just sitting there in silence, thinking harder than you’ve ever seen him think. The tenacity of him is something new- which is crazy, because you truly had thought you’d seen all the in’s and the out’s of him. 

“Can’t sleep?” Your voice drags him out of his trance. 

The floor lights illuminate a glow in his eyes when he turns to look at you again, those dark hues far away. When he doesn’t answer, and you fully take in the somberness of him, you have this urge from deep within your soul. An insatiable itch that you’d refused to admit to yourself you’d been longing for the last three years. You swallow hard, your mouth opens and closes, struggling to get the words out.

“...Do you want to lay with me?”

It’s like inviting the vampire into your home knowingly.

Nam-gyu doesn’t linger for even a second. Maybe he’s afraid you’ll change your mind if he doesn’t jump on the chance, or perhaps he’d been desperate to be at your side since you’d left him that day. You weren’t sure- not really, but he was throwing himself at your side in the blink of an eye.

Even worse, his arms are already snaking around your body, finding you against himself in the darkness. Entitled to your body, and taking your air with him. A part of you has this immediate suspension- or more like, an experienced worry that those long fingers of his are going to try and explore down your body until they find something all too warm and familiar, but just like the look on his face moments ago, somethings different about him. Something longing, feeling. 

He drags your back against his chest and he cages you in his grasp and he buries his face into your hair, breathes you in so deeply you’d think he’s getting high off your scent. Squeezing you so tight like he can’t believe he’s really got you. He even brings the blanket over you and pats it over your shoulders before he nestles in against your body.

“Nam-gyu,” You whisper, and he hums in response. “What are you doing?”

As if you aren’t actively letting him, as if you aren’t feeling all your tensions melt away in his hold. A puzzle piece settled back into its place after so long it ached. 

His response is quiet, broken up. Words you never thought you’d ever hear leave his lips. 

“I missed you.”

Between his confession and his breath on your neck, you shiver. A full body wrack that makes you crack your eyes open in the darkness. 

“Yeah?” Your voice is equally as wavering.

He just nods and clutches you tighter. He’s never been this sweet with you- not even when things were good. And then he goes and surprises you again for the second, or third, time since he’s slinked into your bed. 

“When we leave here, give me another chance.”

The fence you’ve stuck atop of is mighty tall with a great leap on either side. One side him and all his backage, the other, lonely peace. To go through all that bullshit again might actually kill you. And fuck, you’ve done it, you’re out. You’re on the other side and untethered to him after so long, but he’s so warm next to you, and he’s saying the things you used to imagine in your weakest hours…

“You’re serious about this?” You ask, barely above a whisper.

He can’t say it, but he can nod against the cradle of your neck. 

“...And you’ll be my boyfriend?” You’re chewing the inside of your cheek, putting heavy emphasis on the label, making sure it rings true through that thick skull of his. 

Another nod. Your breath stutters in your fluttering chest. It’s slow, hesitating, but it’s there and you’re rolling over to face him through the dim lights. In this light, you can see certain parts of him that you’d seldom ever been able to touch. This softness, endearment that you caught fleeting glimpses of in his afterglows. Vulnerable. 

Your fingers find the sides of his face and he reacts like they’ve got their own gravitational pull, putty in your hold. Your touch is like warmth in the cold, like shelter within the storm. Life over all else. 

“So say it, then. Tell me you’re mine.”

He presses his lips into a tight line. “You already know I am.”

“Say it.” Dragging your thumb over his lower lip. “Say it so I can kiss you.”

You can see, you can feel the way light soars into those dark, dark eyes. His lips part. 

“I’m yours.”

Nam-gyu’s lips against yours, fingertips ghosting the mound of your cheekbone. 

It’s like coming home again. 

Sweet and gentle and nothing like you’d ever had the fortune of sharing with him. Kisses with him were always so urgent and demanding, but this was void of anything other than the yearn of finding yourself again. It’s the most intimate moment you’ve ever had with him, you think, in the middle of a packed room inches from death.

So intimate, that when he pulls away to gauge you, you drag him down by his collar for another. 

The flat of his palm cups the side of your face, and you hold the fabric of his suit to keep him right there. Deeper, this time. 

Too long for him was a beast of its own entirely, one that grew claws in your nail beds as you buried your hands in his thick black hair and let yourself melt into pools of honey around him. He’s equally so fervent, passion radiating off him like an aura, all hands and twisting arms and his body covering your own. Your back is flat to the bed and he’s overtop of you, so familiar but so different from before. Real and raw. He’s gripping a fist into the pillow beside your head, the blanket shifting off the bunk entirely and pooling onto the floor, forgotten. 

You pant when he breaks away, his hair tickling your face. He kissed your cheek, your jaw, and you’re excited to find his lips at your neck but instead he just kisses your jugular and buries his face within your collarbone. 

You wait for him to try to take it further. To claim the prize he’d really been working for- that sickly-sweet nectar between your legs that always seemed far too eager to drag him in. But he doesn't, and he’s quiet, and he’s breathing in your scent. 

And you haven't felt better in years. Clicked into place, even with the plane. 

“Okay.” You pant., find his shoulders and trace lines down his back, marveling in his twitching muscles under your ghost light touches.

“Okay?” His breath is hot against your skin. 

You pull him from the crook of your neck and pet down his face. He kisses your hand and you can’t stop this foolish grin from spreading over your face. A single nod.

“Okay. I’ll stay with you.”

He stops breathing. 

“For the game… Or, afterwards…?”

“For the game and afterwards. If we make it out.”

All of his weight settles at once, as though you’d pulled the pounds lodged onto his shoulders off entirely. 

“We will make it out.” His brows twitch together, caught between the cocktail of relief and trepidation, realizing that he could lose you all over again. He props himself up over you before he leans back on his knees, your waist trapped underneath his weight. 

You prop yourself up on your elbows. “You don’t know that.”

The moment you start to get up, he feels the need to flatten you back out under him with those hands of his. And you’re just as happy to do so- watching him towering over you before he lays at your side and wrenches you against his curling form. He kisses the back of your neck, chaste and soft until your skin flutters under each one. 

“Whatever happens,” You murmur, running your fingers over his knuckles. “I’ll stay with you.”

“We’ll make it out. I’ll make sure of it.” One more kiss to the back of your neck before he nuzzles you into him. 

It feels right. It feels like being rewarded, like getting the thing you wanted most in life. You bring his hand up to your lips just so you can dot kisses another his wrist. 

“I’ll hold you to that.”

[iwantdrpepper222]

rhapsodic

nam-gyu x reader

summary: bad first experience doing drugs

req: no one, i literally just started this account lmfao

note - firstly, i am so sorry if this fic seems to be long, i usually get carried away when i write and forget not everyone wants to read an 100k letter novel. second, this is a personal AU of mine where nam-gyu and reader are dating but they are not in the games.. i might write a different fic where they are in the games or something :p also.. guys.. ik i said this would be out on friday but things happen, i got all caught up in stuff,yknow... my apologies.

also this just a tad bit cringe. excuse me, i haven't wrote in some time.

tags: mention of drugs, alcohol, throwing up because of substance use, dead dove-ish??? a bit angst-sty but also fluff, im not sure how to do tags uhhhh

also, i did happen to be listening to cigarettes after sex while writing this so this is just a tad inspired by their song "cry". (also somewhat inspired by A$AP rocky?idk) enjoy!!

you had never supported your boyfriends decision to do drugs. in fact, you constantly tried to discourage him from it and convince him to get sober. he would always respond with,

"okay, i'll try."

but you knew it was a lie. he wasn't trying for shit. it made you begin to speculate that nam-gyu had cared more for a high than his relationship with you.

you had never liked nam-gyu's job either. you thought that it made him indulge further into his harmful addictions and habits. of course, that came with being a club promoter, but there were other jobs out there that could get him just as much money as he made now.

everytime you commented on this he simply just snickered and said you "were in his business too often." "what a caring and loving boyfriend you are." you would reply, and it would always end in a harsh argument.

you don't know how you put up with the treatment you got from him, you don't know how anyone would.

one night, nam-gyu had invited you to come to the club he worked at with him. he egged you on by saying things like,

"oh it'll be fun though" and also remarks stating "you wouldn't want to embarrass your boy, showing up with no girl you know."

you couldn't help but fall victim to his guilt tripping and agree. at least it gave you an excuse to doll up and wear a dress for once, right? you never got the chances to do those things like a normal girl your age would. (20-25) you were always working attempting to provide for not only yourself and also your boyfriend. it didn't make it any easier that you were in a TON of debt.

whatever, this night could give you a chance to debrief and thats all that matters. as long as one of nam-gyu's annoying, bastard friends don't come up and bother you, you should be fine. (hehe foreshadowing)

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

it took you a few hours to get ready that night which very obviously stressed out nam-gyu. he has a thing for worrying he wouldn't get to places on time. the wait was worth it though when he had saw the beautiful black dress you decided you would wear. it highlighted the curves of your body perfectly. the dress was about mid-length and came strapless at the top. inevitably, you felt a bit insecure. you were so used to wearing hoodies, sweatpants, baggy t-shirts and the occasional shorts that it felt almost wrong to be wearing something as pretty as this.

"what? is something wrong?" you spoke up as you noticed nam-gyu staring at you. it made your heart flutter with the way his eyes softened up and the tinge of blush that you could now see on his cheeks. he looked how he looked on the day he first asked you out.

"no.. nothings wrong. you just look.. you look really good babe."

you blushed intensely at his comment. it made you glad that he actually liked what you wore. i mean, it wasn't like you needed his validation but it sure as hell felt great when you were able to get it.

you two then began to walk out of the door and on your way after exchanging compliments and giving each other a kiss on the cheek.

well, the drive to the club was... just a little bit awkward.. in your opinion at least. you kept noticing the desirable gazes nam-gyu gave you and how he slid his hand up and down your thigh. you being in the passenger seat was his favorite thing. this was because he had easy access to touch you.

this wasn't surprising at all. you knew very well that nam-gyu's love language was physical touch and you actually sort of loved that about him. the way he was so clingy and touchy made you feel special. before you met him you were depraved of that.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

entering the club made you nervous as all hell. you never liked being around large crowds of people and nam-gyu knew that.

he smiled as he hugged your waist behind you, like he was trying to let everyone at the club know, "hey this is my girlfriend!!"

this quickly changed though when he saw his friend thanos. thanos stuck out from most of the crowd with his purple hair and multi colored nails. he was an upcoming rapper and was getting fairly popular.

"whatts up my boy nam-su!!" he greeted. 'nam-su? thats not his name. you questioned in your head trying not to pay much attention.

"is this your girlfriend you brought with you?" thanos asked. nam-gyu nodded, putting his hand on your shoulder.

"yep, her name is Y/N."

"hello Y/N, you look very good tonight." thanks spoke approaching you. you only backed up closer to nam-gyu, which made him chuckle.

"well.. if you guys don't mind, come to the room i have set up for us. its a bit private, yknow?"

"alright. cmon Y/N." nam-gyu gestured, pulling on your hand as thanos led them to a room a bit closed off from the rest of the club. when you entered you saw two girls and a random boy. you knew none of these people which filled your body with anxiety.

"sit down guys," thanos said as he sat down on a chair next to the two ladies.

you and nam-gyu ended up on a couch together.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

time skip and it has now been a hour or so since you two arrived at the club. seeing all these new people around you made you nervous. the only support you had in this moment was nam-gyu and it didn't seem like he was paying much attention to you anyways. he just lousily hung his arm around your shoulder. another bead of sweat rolled down your face as you looked at the bag of pills that laid on the glass table in front of you. 'it's not for me.. you repeated in your head. something in your gut told you should leave before something you regret happens. you watched as nam-gyu continuously sipped on his glass of alcohol and slipped various pills in his mouth. you hated everything about this. suddenly, you then hear a low but smooth voice speak. it was that purple haired guy again.

"so Y/N, what do you prefer? ecstasy or snow?" this startled you. was he asking what drug you preferred? ...none?!

you looked up to nam-gyu for an answer or at least a little bit of guidance but instead of helping you he just grinned. his eyes had a bit of red on the whites and you watched as he slipped another blue tablet in his mouth and this is how you knew he was out of it.

"none." you mumbled, refusing to look him in the eye.

"nam-gyu, is this true? your girl doesn't do anything?" girl? really?

"cmon thanos.. she does.. she just doesn't wanna admit it alright?" your boyfriends speech slurred. it was the mix of the alcohol and random drug he took earlier really kicking in. you mean, he always rode out his highs nicely, he never acted too stupid, but you guessed he took one too many this night.

"so she wouldn't mind taking a few lines or so?" 'thanos' questioned, tilting his head.

you started to loose your mind. why was nam-gyu straight up lying about you? you had never done a drug in your life.

"no.. no she wouldn't," he began. "cmon baby, the lines right there." nam-gyu said pointing at the table. in front of you there were 3 messy white lines of what you could only assume was cocaine. you stared at him helplessly, almost like you were screaming at him to leave this place.

"what are you waiting for Y/N? we didn't do anything to it." thanos added, breaking the silence between you and nam-gyu. you began to think about what he said earlier at the house, how he didn't want to embarrass himself with (or even without you. if you didn't snort up these lines, you would be proving to his friend that nam-gyu lied. would you really sacrifice your dignity for nam-gyu though?

he gave you that lovely dovey sweet look he had on his face when he was high and that immediately made you break eye-contact with him. it swooned you a bit too much.

you finally decided to reply to thanos, and also make your decision on what you were about to do. "i.. i know you didn't."

you then began to slowly get off the couch and from nam-gyu's grasp, sitting down on the floor with the lines in front of you. you had no idea how you could do this. you only ever watched nam-gyu do it, and it always made you so mad. so mad you couldn't even focus on the motions nam-gyu made when he snorted that stuff up.

taking one last deep breath you lowered your nose down to the table and tried all your best to snort it up. it stung and left you sneezing and coughing when you were done. when you looked over to ur side to see nam-gyu's face and reaction to what you had just done he was just smirking cynically. thanos and the two other girls sitting next to him on other hand were just laughing and giggling, this made you feel tiny. you had always hated it when people were laughing in your face.

you couldn't do anything about it so you just rolled your eyes.

"go on, do one more." the purple haired freak spoke up. you just looked down. you weren't sure if you were able to do another one or not.

'don't embarrass nam-gyu..' you repeated in your head. this was the only reason you were betraying yourself, because you didn't want nam-gyu to look like a fool in front of his "friends." so, you took another line.

when you finished you were ashamed of yourself. you couldn't believe you had just done a hard drug just for the sake of a boy.

"do you need a drink to wash that down?" nam-gyu finally spoke. happy to hear his voice you quickly agreed and got up to sit on the couch near him again. when he asked you if you wanted a drink you didn't know it would be alcohol though. this worried you. you didn't think you could stomach both alcohol and drugs... and you were right.

nam-gyu had handed you his half empty cup of svedka vodka waiting for you to take it from his hands. you shook, cursing yourself mentally.

you quickly gulped most of the vodka down, it felt hot down your throat and tasted like hand sanitizer. you weren't a big fan of this stuff.

when you finished drinking you found nam-gyu rubbing your back comfortingly. no matter how mad you were at him you always melted at his touch.

the rest of the night was a blur. the mix of the vodka and also the drugs did not sit well with you. you sort of just watched as the girls, thanos, nam-gyu, and some other random guy conversed, trying to swallow the fact that you felt like you were about to blackout. you hadn't even realized that its been about 5 hours since you first got to the club.

you laid in nam-gyus arms watching as the world around you warped and twisted and felt all the sudden very hyper.

"f..fuck." you whimpered, quickly getting up and covering your mouth. "i need to .. go to the bathroom." you mumbled again, hearing someone snicker behind you as you began to speed walk over to the bathrooms. getting there was a bit of a struggle as you had to navigate through sweating dancing bodies and loud music which only made your ache worse.

when you made it to the stalls you quickly crouched down the nearest toilet and began to throw up your own guts.

you hadn't known that when you left the room that nam-gyu had quickly followed behind you.

when you heard him entering the woman's bathroom you thought it was a stranger so you instantly tried to shut yourself up. you were so out of it you forgot to even shut the stall door behind you. sweat poured down your forehead as you heard footsteps behind you, looking over only to see nam-gyu's sweet face.

"it's okay.." he nodded, grabbing your hair and holding it back for you. you took this as an initiative to get the rest of the stuff you had in your system out.

by the time you were done you were crying and sniffing regretting everything you had done that night. you quickly flushed everything you just threw up down and fell into nam-gyu's arms. you didn't have anything to really say to him so you just cried, your tears landing on his black shirt.

he didn't say anything either. he just stroked your hair like you were some kind of pet.

"i wanna go home." you muttered to him--your tone was serious.

"yeah, i think its time we go." he agreed as he helped you up, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

on your way out of the club he simply just gave thanos the 'yknow' look and he nodded in response.

the drive home was strange. you could feel yourself actively falling in and out of sleep and for once you were in the backseat instead of the front-seat.

when you made it to you and nam-gyu's apartment he grabbed you and took you inside the building bridal style. this sent butterflies through your drunken body because even out of your mind you still knew this wasn't how he usually treated you. you clung onto him anyways.

inside, he set you down on your guys bed. he laid down next to you turning himself over so he could see your face. he brushed some of your hair out of your face and stared at you with desire in his eyes.

ironically, there happened to be some water on the nightstand. he grabbed it and slowly brung it to your lips, helping you get some water intake.

you felt a little better knowing you now had a little bit of water in your system.

suddenly, he grabbed your body, pulling you into a sweethearts cradle and hugging you tightly. his body was warm like a heater. it felt great compared to the cold night outside.

you buried your head in his chest feeling his heartbeat against your cheek.

you never wanted to let go of this moment.

to the soft vibrational hums you then fell asleep being cradled in nam-gyus arms.

why couldn't every night be like this?

[ivonhart]

if you’ll have me | nam-gyu x fem!reader

— one shot

masterlist

cross posted in ao3

requested by: anonymous

gif credit: @cressidium

summary: You and Nam-gyu both joined for the same reason...to help each other. The rehab debts forcing both your hands, resulting in the two of you to call the number given by a mysterious man. The twisted games of life and death solidifying the bond you already shared in an unbreakable way.

a/n: Haven't written in a while...kinda nervous :0 NAMGYU FLUFFFFFF *we all cheered* I wrote him different from what we see in the show because of the fact he's in recovery so he wouldn't be all other Thanos like we saw in the show - think I deviated off from the og ask SORRY

You should’ve listened to your gut when the mysterious man with a briefcase showed up beside you on a subway bench. You should’ve listened to your gut when he handed you the small brown card accompanied by a wad of cash. You should’ve listened to your gut when it told you it was too good to be true…it had to have been. So why didn’t you listen to your gut?

The empty apartment and a stack of threatening letters was why you chose to ignore your gut and call the number. You needed the money…for him. But now, as your unsteady legs trudged you back towards the large room you suddenly woke up in you realized you should’ve listened to your gut.

Your arms wrapped around yourself as your fingers clung to the green jacket that covered your shaking shoulders. Ears still ringing slightly from the mass amounts of gunshots that echoed throughout the field you played your first twisted game in. You never heard a gunshot before…you didn’t think it would be so loud.

You could feel sobs begin to weigh down your chest at the knowledge you’ll most likely die here. The images of the falling, bloody bodies making your mind run wild - making you imagine yourself as one of the fallen. What would he think? Would he think you finally got sick of his struggles and left him?

Your body was running on autopilot as you walked towards the bed you were put in, paying no mind to the voice that shouted your name until you felt a familiar pair of hands grasp your shoulders. “What are you doing here?!” That voice snapped you from your haze, causing your head to whip towards the source, only to find the eyes of the very person you thought of.

A cry left your mouth as you launched into his arms. “NAM-GYU!” One of his hands immediately cupped the back of your head while the other wrapped around your waist. Your arms circled around his neck with your fingers balling his jacket up. Both of your bodies relaxed in the arms of one another.

The horrors of the games you found yourselves in faded away…if only for a moment. Those around you blurred into the background as the two of you embraced. Your tears dampened his jacket and when he pulled away the hand that once cupped the back of your head found its place on your cheek, slowly wiping the tears away before pulling you into a nearby corner to talk.

As he did, you spoke. “Gyu, what are you doing here?” Your question came out sharp but he knew it was only because you were scared. “I could ask you the same question.” He responded back with a half-hearted smile…trying to ease some of the fear you felt. His hands found yours and rubbed his thumbs along your knuckles as you sighed.

“T-The loan shark came by our apartment a few days ago…” Your voice trailed off as your head hung low. “My job cut my hours and I haven’t been able to pay them back.” Tears stung the back of your eyes as shame washed over you. “Did they do anything to you?”

The question tore out of Nam-gyu’s mouth with an edge of worry and anger. Your head shot back up so that your wide eyes could meet his. With frantic shakes of your head you responded. “No no. J-Just a bit of verbal threatening–but that’s besides the point…” You were quick to change the conversation topic towards him.

“What are you doing here?! You’re supposed to be in rehab.”  That’s when Nam-gyu told you that the rehab center kicked him out for missing too many payments and another wave of shame hit you. After multiple times in rehab you had been worn thin with his addiction and struggled because of it.

So, one day, when he was sober, you gave him the ultimatum; either get better or you would leave. But now…you couldn’t help but feel like this was all your fault. “Babe…don’t do that.” He cupped your cheek and looked into your guilt-filled eyes. He knew you. He knew that you were blaming yourself. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“D-Did you–Where did you stay?” He knew what you were starting to ask. It had been a long and hard journey and he realized some time ago that he had taken advantage of your good heart. So, when you put your foot down and gave him an ultimatum he knew he had to get clean. He couldn’t lose you. “I didn’t relapse.”

He saw the way the tension released from your shoulders as he ran his hands up and down your arms. “Why didn’t you come home?” Nam-gyu let out a small sigh and stepped closer so that he could rest his head against yours. Your eyes closing at the contact.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I was ashamed? I kept fucking up and needed to go back so many times.” You felt his sigh caress your face, but before you could defend him another voice broke through your little corner. “Nam-suuuuuu, who's this pretty lady?” You looked towards the sound to see the face of the rapper your boyfriend loved to listen to.

His purple hair popped against the otherwise stagnant white room. “Thanos?” His rapper name came out instinctively which caused a wide smile to spread across his face. “The one and only, Señorita.” When he got closer you stepped slightly behind Nam-gyu and sought out his hand - which he took immediately. You always had trouble with attention. Never really knowing what to do if it was turned towards you.

Thanos eyed your intertwined hands and smiled even wider. “Aw shhhiii…this your girl?” He asked Nam-gyu, causing the man to nod. A laugh left Thanos. “Alright! Another member of Thanos World!” As he spoke you took note of how dilated his pupils were. A sight so familiar that you knew right away what state the man was in.

Perhaps he was high when they took him or maybe, somehow, he managed to take something during the first game. You felt a ping of pity shoot through your heart knowing he was probably high to deal with the situation you all found yourselves in. He spun on his heel with a giggle and moved back towards his bed, not before turning back and waving the two of you to follow. “Come on gang!”

-

You were stuck here for one more game…just one - that’s what you and Nam-gyu promised each other. The blue O that clung to your shirt told everyone you were willing to put your life on the line for the chance of more money. It was a heavy weight to carry, but you could pay off the debts with the money you and Nam-gyu would get put together. “We have to stay.”

You told the love of your life after Player 456 spoke up for a vote. “We’re gonna die either way. Out there…by the loan sharks. Or in here…with a chance of getting the money.” Nam-gyu wasn’t happy when you said that. The thought of you dying made him sick to his stomach but he knew you were right.

You were always the smarter one in the relationship. “One more game?” He had asked. “One more.” You promised. The second game was a Six-Legged Pentathlon - with you and Nam-gyu refusing to separate all you needed was three more players…and your third body came bouncing over with a wide smile. “My gang!”

Thanos exclaimed as he threw his arms around the shoulders of both you and Nam-gyu. Despite his outlandish nature you could tell he had a good heart. In a way he reminded you of your Nam-gyu. A nice boy haunted by his past…struggling with addiction. “Are we ready to do this or what?” His positivity was almost infectious, causing you to slowly nod while glancing towards Nam-gyu.

That snowballed events leading to you, Nam-gyu, Thanos, a young woman named Se-mi and a young man named Min-shu - who Thanos took to immediately - sitting on the dirt floor waiting for your team's turn. Nam-gyu kept his hand on your thigh while he looked around to watch for when the guard’s would close in to “eliminate” the losers.

He always covered your ears when the gunshots would ring out. From the corner of your eye you could see Thanos’s hands shaking. With each gunshot the shaking grew more and more intense and slowly you grabbed hold of his hand before it could reach for his necklace. A sharp inhale breaking the tense bubble that surrounded him.

“If you need to take something…take it.” You began to say towards the purple-haired rapper. “But…just know you're not alone. Not anymore.” His wide eyes looked up at you and all you did was send him a sad smile before turning your attention back on Nam-gyu. You knew your words wouldn’t cure his cravings, but you needed him to know that he was with a group now. People that he could rely on.

The hold on Thanos’s hand never letting up as you laid your head against your boyfriend’s shoulder. The comfort eased Thanos’s racing heart just a bit, but his free hand was quick to open the cross once more. “Whatcha thinking about?” You quietly asked your boyfriend. He had been strangely quiet the whole time - not knowing that the man was thinking about his life with you. He couldn’t imagine a world without you in it and he couldn’t die without telling you.

A few seconds passed before you felt his shoulders rise as he puffed his chest out. “We are gonna win this because I’m not going to die without making you my wife. If you’ll have me.” His words came out with a purpose. He wasn’t saying such things to say it…he meant every word. 

Heat bloomed across your cheeks as you looked at him with wide eyes. Then, tears stung your eyes as you let go of Thanos’s hand to cup Nam-gyu’s cheek, turning his eyes towards yours. The look that his eyes held made your chest ache with a sickening sense of purpose.

You and him were tied together…your souls tethered through space and time so that even if you died here today you would find one another in the next life. And all the others after that. “You had me from the moment we met.” You whispered with a wide smile.

-

When your team passed the finish line a sheer joyous cheer ripped through your throat and those around you. With just five seconds to spare you passed the finish line. Nam-gyu was quick to engulf you in a kiss that left you breathless.

He always kisses as if you gave him the air that filled his lungs…and to him you did. When he pulled away you saw his smile. It was as bright as the sun and radiated the same amount of warmth. “You were fucking amazing.”

He panted against your mouth as a guard unlocked the cuffs that bound your legs together. When you felt your legs get freed you jumped into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist.Your arms locking around his neck in practiced ease from doing so many times before. The rest of your team was seemingly abandoned as he walked with you back towards the dormitory. “You still gonna marry me?” You questioned with a smile.

A string of giggles passed your lips as Nam-gyu nipped at your throat with a smile. “I’d marry you right here if I could.” Your giggles carried into the sleeping area as he carried you back to the bunks you slept in. You and Nam-gyu shared a bed whilst Thanos slept in one of the neighboring bunks. “My friends, that was awesome!”

The words from Thanos were in a language you didn’t understand, but from his wide smile you assumed it was a celebration. You and Nam-gyu plopped down on your bunk as Thanos scurried over with a laugh. Se-mi and Min-su not far behind him. The unspoken bond that formed between the team carried over from the win, causing them to settle in close by.

You silently watched as Thanos exclaimed over everyone’s performance with a soft smile. Your back pulled into Nam-gyu’s chest as his hands rubbed your arms. You could only hope that the money made from this round would be enough to pay off your debts.

When the time came for the money amount to be announced, everyone hurried towards the center of the room. And then the amount showed up…and you stared up at the total money amount with wide eyes. It was enough. It was more than enough.

When you and Nam-gyu put the money together there was plenty to pay off the debts and have so much left over. “My love…” You began to whisper. Slowly, you looked at the man with a laugh. “I know.” He responded. The voting went by in a blur and when Player 001 cast his vote the X side erupted in hoots and hollers of joy.

You won. You won. Your scream of happiness joined the others as you jumped into Nam-gyu’s arms. Tears fell from your eyes as you kissed him with all the love you could muster. “I’m gonna marry the FUCK out of you the moment we get out.”

-

tag list: @vip-luc

[fear-is-truth]

wow i love the way you write nam-gyu! would you mind writing his attempt to make things right if he was given a second chance in a relationship? I’m basing this off of your last post with him where you said if he was given a second chance he would at least genuinely try. Have a great day! ❤️

NAM-GYU ❝ TRYING ❞ TO BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND. . .

content — gn!reader ・nam-gyu is still toxic & overall a shitty boyfriend・headcanons

a/n — i love this horrid man.

he starts overcompensating in small, almost pitiful ways. buying you gifts you didn’t ask for, running errands he wouldn’t have done before, doing the dishes without being asked. it’s as though he thinks he can earn your forgiveness through sheer persistence.

and it works because the bar is so low to begin with, it’s practically a tripping hazard in hell.

he’s not above love-bombing if it means keeping you. but it’s not entirely manipulative—there’s a small part of him that genuinely believes he can be better, even if he doesn’t know what that looks like.

he doesn’t like when you talk about the breakup. he’ll deflect, change the subject, or turn it into a joke. the idea of revisiting that time makes him feel pathetic, and he absolutely hates that.

keeps asking you if you’re happy. the question comes out of nowhere—he needs constant reassurance, like your happiness is the only proof he has that he’s not screwing this up again.

no matter how much he wants to try and fix things, he can’t completely shake the bitterness. deep down, he hates being the one begging for forgiveness. sometimes it slips out in muttered comments or passive-aggressive digs when he feels like he’s not being appreciated enough for trying.

gets this haunted look when you mention any moment from the time you were apart. it doesn’t matter if it’s innocent or unrelated to him—he’ll start overthinking it. where were you? who were you with?

paranoid about losing you again, and it shows in the way he checks your phone, asks too many questions about where you’ve been, or sulks when you spend time with other people.

if you call him out, he’ll switch gears fast. nam-gyu knows exactly what to say to deflect blame or make you second-guess your own feelings. he’s silver-tongued in a way that makes you want to forgive him, even when you know you probably shouldn’t.

despite his efforts, nam-gyu has a habit of reverting to old patterns. he gets frustrated when things don’t improve immediately and lashes out verbally. but as soon as he sees your hurt expression, he’s quick to backtrack, softening his tone and apologising—but the authenticity is up for debate.

there are sporadic bursts of effort. maybe he remembers a small detail you mentioned in passing and surprises you with it, or he takes you somewhere meaningful to “start fresh.” these moments feel real because, for a fleeting second, they are. but they’re often short-lived, drowned out by his issues.

he tries to hold back when you fight, but sometimes he just slips. the venom comes out before he can stop it, and the second he sees your face fall, he’s begging for forgiveness. the cycle exhausts you both.

tries to make up for his outbursts with affection. his hands are always on you—your waist, your wrist, the back of your neck. sure it’s possessive, but there’s a desperation to it too, because he’s trying to prove he still has a right to touch you.

there’s a subtle change in the way he looks at you now. before, there was always the arrogance of knowing you’d stick around no matter what. now, he’s bracing himself for the moment you’ll tell him it’s over for good.

he convinces himself that as long as you’re still there, things can get better. even if he doesn’t fully believe in his own ability to change, he holds onto the idea that you believe in him. it’s a crutch, one that keeps him from truly taking accountability but also keeps him trying—and he is. but there’s also a part of him that still believes he can’t fully change, that this is just who he is, and it’s up to you to decide if you can live with it.

[gds-daisy]

send me fluffy namgyu requests i NEEEEEDDDD them

[elleandstufff]

Only the Best for Our Girl ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Despite many setbacks, your two boyfriends want to make sure you have an amazing birthday <3

Thanos/Choi Su-bong x fem!reader x Nam-gyu 

Requested by @heartlivv !! Hope you had a happy birthday <3

Warnings: Stressful at first but then very fluffy, birthday surprises, Team Thanos cameo because I love them all, honestly just super cute stuff! <3 2k words

ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ

You groan as your phone alarm blares in your ears. You sit up and pull your phone from underneath your pillow to shut it up. It’s dark in your bedroom, but you still can see that neither of your boyfriends stir at your sides. The two of them were out late at the club–Nam-gyu working and Su-bong performing. You unfortunately couldn’t go because you had to be up so early for work. 

You scroll through your phone for a minute to wake yourself up. You already have a couple of birthday messages from distant great aunts and a random classmate you haven’t spoken to in years. You nearly groan. Your birthday. You haven’t exactly been dreading the day, but you haven’t been looking forward to it either. Last year you were sick on your birthday, and your festivities had to be cancelled. This year, you have to work on your birthday and you have no plans. 

You decide to stop wallowing and get up. You climb over Su-bong like you usually do, since he’s the heaviest sleeper out of the two of them. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t stir. 

You get yourself ready and to work on time. You spend the whole day working your ass off. Today conveniently ends up being twice as busy and stressful as usual. None of your coworkers realize that it’s your birthday either. It’s not like you want them to kiss your ass all day, but it would be nice if someone would at least acknowledge it. All employee birthdays are posted on the bulletin in the break room. You always told everyone else happy birthday, brought them little gifts even. You would just appreciate it if someone could tell you happy birthday, or at the very least not throw on responsibilities that aren’t even a part of your job. 

The thing that’s bothering you the most is the lack of texts from your boyfriends. Birthday texts started trickling in from your friends as they woke up. But your boyfriends didn’t text you once. Usually the three of you texted as much as possible throughout the day in your group chat. It’s a busy day, but you check your phone every break you get only for it to be void of messages from the two most important people in your life. After lunch you start to worry. They wouldn’t forget, right?

ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ 

Meanwhile, at your apartment, Nam-gyu shoots awake. He grabs his phone from the bedside table and sees the time. It’s way later than they were supposed to be getting up. He stumbles out of bed and rips the curtains open. The infiltration of light nearly blinds him, but does nothing to wake Su-bong. He sighs and shakes Su-bong awake. The ordeal takes several minutes until he sits up with a groan and reaches for his vape. 

Nam-gyu looks at him with wide eyes while Su-bong looks at him confused. He suddenly realizes and nearly chokes on his vape. 

“Shit, it’s our girl’s birthday and we slept in,” he says while coughing and swatting away the flavored vapor swirling around in front of his face. “I knew I should’ve cancelled that performance last night.” 

“Her birthday sucked last year, and we already fucked up this year,” Nam-gyu says. 

“Dude, we are not giving up!”

Nam-gyu looks down sadly. “There’s no way we would get it all done before she gets home.” 

Su-bong leaps out of the bed, his leg tangled in the sheet. He catches himself before he hits the ground, looking back at Nam-gyu with a goofy grin on his face. “You coming or what?” 

Nam-gyu follows after him, shaking his head. He had put together most of the plans and they were a lot. How the hell were they going to pull this off? 

Nam-gyu pulls the to-do list up on his phone and shows it to Su-bong. His eyes widen when he sees everything on it. “Shit. Where do we even start?”

“You go buy a cake, candles, and balloons. I’ll stop at the store on the corner and buy drinks and snacks. Then, I’ll come back and wrap all her presents.” 

Su-bong nods cartoonishly, before starting toward the bedroom to get presentable to the outside world. He stops halfway there and swivels to face Nam-gyu again. “Wait, what kind of balloons? And how many?” 

“Any, and a shit ton.” 

Nam-gyu starts getting himself ready as fast as he can. Su-bong probably isn’t the best person to send to get all this stuff, but they can’t be picky right now. 

He runs to the corner store to pick up a ton of sugary drinks, snacks, and ice cream. Back home, he almost forgets to put the ice cream in the fridge, but he remembers at the last second right before it melts. He pulls the pile of hidden presents from the closet. There’s so many that he has to make two trips to drag them all to the living room. They might have gone a little overboard with the presents this year. Actually, Su-bong had been the one that had bought you most of the presents. It was a lot, but they wanted your birthday to be special this year. 

Nam-gyu pulls out the wrapping paper that you had bought and used for both of their birthdays. He had meant to buy more, but the thought completely slipped his mind. He terribly wraps the first few presents before the wrapping paper runs out. He frantically grabs his phone to call Su-bong, but he hears buzzing. Su-bong’s phone is still sitting on the kitchen counter. Nam-gyu turns to the stack of newspapers and mail the three of you had been meaning to go through for weeks. Yeah, that could work. 

ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ 

Su-bong hurriedly walks into the third store of the day. Apparently, balloons were harder to find than he expected. He didn’t know the first thing about shopping. You usually did most of the shopping. If he needed something he would order it online. Now he didn’t have that option, nor did he have his phone to look up what stores sold balloons. 

He rounds the corner to find a wall full of balloons. He sighs in relief, but there’s so many options. Nam-gyu said it didn’t matter, so he grabs as many packages of purple balloons as he can. Next, he heads to a bakery and picks out a cake that he thinks you’ll like. He has the baker write happy birthday in swirly purple letters. He smirks to himself as he heads home. The balloons and the cake match. He’s not so bad at this afterall. 

Back at home, he finds Nam-gyu folding newspapers and torn-out magazine pages around your presents. “We ran out of wrapping paper and you left your phone so I couldn’t tell you to buy more.”

Su-bong dramatically taps his fingers against his chin in fake thought. “Hmm… That’s a really weird way to say thank you, Su-bong, for driving to three different balloon stores and a bakery in record timing.” 

Nam-gyu gives a slight smile. “It was pretty fast…” 

Su-bong starts blowing up the balloons and fastening them to the wall like the picture Nam-gyu showed him. Nam-gyu finally finishes with the presents and moves on to setting out all the snacks and drinks. Su-bong hurries as he blows up the balloons. After what feels like a ton of balloons, he looks up only to realize that the balloons he’s already done barely cover the corner. He didn’t realize blowing up balloons was this hard. 

He keeps blowing up the balloons, not even stopping when he hears a knock at the door. Nam-gyu swings the door open to reveal Se-mi, Min-su, and Gyeong-su. Nam-gyu greets them, while Su-bong absentmindedly mutters a hello. 

“Hello to you too, Thanos,” Se-mi chides. “What’s got the two of you freaked out?” 

“She’s going to be home in like an hour, and Su-bong is not even halfway through with the balloon wall,” Nam-gyu says, while Su-bong blows up another balloon until his face nearly goes blue. 

“Well, whose idea was it to have the guy who sleeps with a vape in his hand to blow up a hundred balloons?” 

Nam-gyu and Su-bong look between each other. She’s got a point. 

Se-mi gets to the floor to start blowing up balloons. She ushers Min-su and Gyeong-su over who had already started eating the snacks. Between the four of them, they’re able to get the wall filled up with shiny purple balloons merely minutes before you’re expected home. 

ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ 

Your work day finally ends. With a sigh, you head out. You still never received a single text from either of your boyfriends. They must’ve forgotten. 

You feel utterly exhausted, so you stop to get a coffee. Hopefully with the caffeine you can stay up and at least do something with Su-bong and Nam-gyu, but it’s going to be an awkward conversation when you get home. 

You drink most of the coffee on the way home. When you get to the front steps of your apartment, you nearly trip and what’s left of your coffee falls to the concrete. Could this day get any worse? 

You unlock the door to find the house completely dark and quiet. They’re seriously not even home? 

You flip the switch on to see a wall full of balloons. Confused, you step inside. 

“Surprise!” Your boyfriends and best friends all jump out from various hiding places. 

Your hands fly up to cover your face in shock. Su-bong and Nam-gyu run at you with giddy smiles to envelope you in a giant hug. You can’t help the giant smile on your face as they kiss both of your cheeks. “I thought you guys forgot!” 

“Pssh! What? We would never forget!” Nam-gyu says. 

“Yeah, we would just accidentally sleep in and spend the day frantically getting things ready on time!” Su-bong says, and Nam-gyu discreetly elbows him. 

“So that’s why you haven’t texted me all day.” The realization dawns on you. 

Next, you turn to Se-mi, Min-su, and Gyeong-su to thank them for coming. “Your dorks can be pretty cool when they try to be,” Se-mi jokes while you hug her. 

The six of you spend a couple hours playing party games on the TV and eating a week’s worth of snacks. After a while, you move on to open the mountain of presents in the corner. “You can start with this one!” Gyeong-su hands you a nicely wrapped present. 

“That one is from the three of us,” Se-mi says, then whispers, “But actually it’s from me.” 

You thank the three of them even though it is obvious Se-mi picked the gift out and wrapped it. You move on to the other presents. A few of them are wrapped in actual wrapping paper. The rest are wrapped in crumpled newspaper or magazine pages. All of them are poorly wrapped with huge chunks of tape everywhere. 

“We ran out of wrapping paper…” Nam-gyu sheepishly mutters, but you think it’s sweet that he still went through the effort of wrapping them all. 

As you open the presents, you realize that these are all things you had wanted throughout the year. Some of the items you had seen online nearly a year ago. 

“Everytime this year that you said you liked something, I wrote it down in my phone. I wanted to make sure you got everything you wanted…” Su-bong says, and the room breaks into awwws. 

Once you get through all the presents, Nam-gyu pulls out the birthday cake and ice cream. “Candles?” he says to Su-bong with his hand outstretched. 

“Fuck…” Su-bong’s face drops as he realizes. “I forgot them. But, I have a cigarette we can use!”

He digs around in his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He sticks it in the cake and lights it as they sing happy birthday to you. When they finish with the song, you “blow” the cigarette out then snuff it out in the nearby ashtray. 

You sit around the table eating your cake and thinking about how lucky you are. 

Your boyfriends notice your quietness as the rest of your friends bicker over something. They each take one of your hands in theirs. “You okay?” Nam-gyu asks.

“Yes,” you answer. “I’m just really thankful for all this.” 

“Only the best for our girl,” Su-bong says.

“Only the best,” Nam-gyu repeats.

˗ˏˋ Masterlist ˎˊ˗

[littlescorp1o]

the prettiest

[ihrthoney]

for us

pairings: namgyu x preg!reader

warnings: angst & fluff :p

an: i started my first big girl job but im motivated so ill try to post more :)! i haven’t posted in a minute and i hate pregnancy tropes but i make the exception for squid games lol. i will make a part two!

nam-gyu was many things, an addict, a partier, an idiot and a sweetheart. the sweetest ever, actually.

unfortunately for you you worked at club pentagon, which is how you met the physical embodiment of an acid trip.

who he was when he was sober was something you cherished and kept close to your heart. it wasn’t hard to weave your way into his rotten lungs, but soon enough you became his air, his new high.

after learning you never did substances, he switched positions at the club and asked you to get a safer job, not wanting you to inevitably cave to the horrible things that he tries.

you scold him of course, reprimand him and argue about hating how he acted when under the influence. for a while he managed to stop, wanting something serious and stable.

but then he met thanos, he came home obnoxiously intoxicated. nam-gyu was so star struck that he saw a famous rapper that he didn’t understand why you locked him out of the room, until he woke up the next morning with a headache he only got when he was on drugs.

apologies spewed out of his mouth, wishing for a second chance. his wish was granted, he found another outlet for “extra money” and promised you both a fresh start.

until the extra money vanished off the face of the earth and now he was in incredible debt.

the few months of bliss now gone, thoughts of continuing such an unstable relationship this far into life didn’t seem like a good idea. the arguments were bad, mostly on your end as you couldn’t get him to stop begging and spilling empty promises,

“i’ll make the money back and i’ll work harder to make more for you, please baby i’m so sorry.” the sight of him on his knees and holding your legs would’ve been kind of sweet if this wasn’t the millionth time he’s promised to be better.

to his disappointment, you walked out of his life that night, asking him to only find you when he grew up.

he was determined to make the money back, nam-gyu had no hesitation when calling the number on the card.

-

seeing thanos’ face on the big screen in the unfamiliar room brought a bitter taste in your mouth. you felt bad, seeing as he had the talent but like your ex he succumbed to the high instead.

your ex. that fucking moron. that piece of shit doesn’t even know you’re carrying his damn kid.

a week after you walked out of his life, you guys met up one time to exchange clothes and what not but one thing lead to another and here you were in hospital debt. finding a stable job was hard, especially when you worked as a bartender most of your adult life.

the stress was eating you alive, renting the nice place you had was not cheap and the nice landlord could only be nice for so long because you had to start paying more.

the past few months have been rough and you really wish you had the support of your ex even if he wasn’t the greatest, he was yours and that’s all that really mattered.

standing in line to sign the consent forms made you nauseous, afraid of what’s to come. as you’re walking back to your bed, you get stopped by a hand on your shoulder,

“yn?”

you feel your heartbeat quicken as you turn around and look at your ex boyfriend.

“why are you here?” his hand is still on your shoulder, slightly moving up and down your arm.

he always had a thing for keeping a hand on you, he said it grounded him.

“the same reason everyone is, debt.”

the expression on his face makes your chest ache, he looks so concerned that it makes you a wee bit mad, “what debt are you in? you’ve always been financially responsible!”

he was right, out of you two you made the smarter choices. it dawned on you that you had yet to tell him you’re pregnant with his kid.

“yn? what happened? did someone scam you? i know some people that could find them.” his tone deepening as he becomes more serious, “no! it’s not like that. it’s complicated..”

the worry in your voice makes his eyes fill with worry, “baby, you can tell me.” the name makes you push away from him but the distance is immediately gone as he closes it, pulling your hands into his own. you can’t look him in the eye, scared he’s going to be mad at you.

you’re going to keep it no matter what but the thought of him hating you and your kid makes your heart crack.

the swirled hormones make everything seem so much more intense, tears start to fill your eyes which makes his widen. his hands, ever so warm, hold your face and tilt it so you’re looking at him.

“what’s wrong, i’m here ba-“

“i’m pregnant, nam-gyu.” he pulls his hands off of your face like he was burned, an expression of hurt and anger swirls in his eyes,

“who’s the father?” you look at him like he’s stupid, which only makes him more upset. “why are you looking at me like that?”

does he seriously think i got with someone else?

nam-gyu is distraught, the thought of you no longer being in love with him makes him sick. the fact that you’re carrying someone else’s child makes any will to live disappear. suddenly he doesn’t care that he owes money to anyone, there’s no chance to get you back. “does he treat you well? are you happier?”

“i’m not seeing anyone new, nam-gyu.”

“you shouldn’t be playing games if you’re pregnant. you could hurt yourself or the baby.”

despite his own lack of rationality when making choices, he was always so careful with you.

you threw any rationality you had and spit out the truth,

“it’s yours.”

now he was looking at you like you were stupid, “what?”

“the baby. it’s yours. you’re the father. i’m carrying your child.” he blinks at you slowly, taking in the information you just dropped on him,

“it’s.. you’re carrying.. our baby?” nodding your head, you step forward and take his hand and guide it to your stomach.

“after we broke up, i started to feel sick so i took a test. i didn’t know what to do, i couldn’t find a good job near my place, moving is too expensive, i was afraid to reach out to you. i owe the hospital so much because i’m paying by month but i ran out of savings and then this guy came up to me and gave me a card to make money.”

by the end of your ramble, nam-gyu pulled you in for a tight hug, smoothing your back with his hand. softly, he coos into your hair, “i would’ve never denied you. had you called, we could’ve figured this shit out together.”

you argued back, “how was i supposed to know that? you promised me over and over again but nothing changed!”

despite missing the warmth, you again create a distance by pushing him away from you, although it’s no use given how he holds your arms but he still keeps the distance out of respect for you.

“i have changed! i’m here, i’m going to win that money and i’ll take care of you.” his eyes plead, the hands that hold you start to shake.

“you’ll win it? alone?” the logic hits him and he laughs at his own idiocy, “we’ll win, i’ll make sure we both get out of here. we can put the money together. it’ll be more than enough for us to start over!”

you’re skeptical, sure the chance of winning is there but.. is your trust in him still there?

“if we win-“

his hands move from your arms to your stomach, “when baby, when we win-“

your eyes roll at his optimism, “if and when we win, you need to quit drugs. cold turkey. no excuses, no more second chances. if you so much as look at a drug, i will kill you and raise this kid alone, do you understand me?”

he mocks a soldier, hand to his head and stance straight, “yes ma’am!” the pose barely lasts as he starts to giggle, following you to your bed while holding onto your hand.

there was more to come, you had a feeling that much money wouldn’t come so easy, but things felt just a tad easier with him.

© ihrthoney. reblogs & feedback are greatly appreciated𑁤