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goldenempyrean · 2 months

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Hi there! If you are still taking them id love to request a fic where the avengers are bantering/teasing Natasha because she supposedly never gets sick but a little while later R finds her crying and thinks its because the guys have upset her but its really because she feels so terrible.Maybe including Baby, I think this is more than just the sniffles and Oh my god you’re completely burning up. Sorry if this is too specific I just think it would be so cute

You're My World

〚 Notes - Wow, its been a while. I haven’t written Nat in so long, finally getting this request done <3 〛

〚 Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - Nobody really believes it when Natasha gets ill but there’s always going to be one person thats always there for her. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 2100 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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“Afternoon sunshine, and just what time do you call this?” The voice of Tony called out with a small chuckle, raising his eyebrows from behind a mug of coffee.

“Lay off her Stark.” You bit back, shooting him a glare and came over to where your girlfriend had shuffled into the room. She was leaning against the doorframe, her pale complexion a sharp contrast to her messy red curls.

You put down your own coffee and came to her side, hand reaching up to cup her cheeks, “Morning baby,” You murmured, kissing her forehead gently before taking her hand and leading her over to sit by the kitchen island, “You still not feeling good?”

The two of you had been cuddled in bed together last night when she’d complained of being extra tired and after some gentle encouraging, she’d eventually admitted that she’d had a growing sinus headache for most of the day.

When you’d woken up that morning, Natasha had still been asleep, still curled up in your arms. Usually, she was up before the sun had even risen, getting in a workout or simply just enjoying her morning. After some careful consideration you decided it would be best to let her sleep in, so you’d carefully detached yourself from her arms and pulled the blanket back over her before silently tiptoeing out from the room.

Natasha shook her head, “I think I’m getting a cold.” She mumbled glumly, letting her head fall onto your shoulder as you sat down beside her. She stayed like that for a moment before falling into a painful sounding coughing fit.

“Baby, I think this is more than just the sniffles,” You sighed sympathetically in response, “You wanna head back to bed? I can bring you some water and something to eat?”

“Heading back to bed? At this time in the afternoon?” Tony interrupted with a playful scoff as she jumped up to sit on the countertop. He looked at you then Natasha before whistling through his teeth, “You, Miss Romanoff, look like shit.”

“Shut up Stark.” It was too early to be dealing with his shenanigans. Natasha just rolled her eyes, judging it best to simply ignore him, “And just for the record, it’s barely 10am. No idea what world you live in where that’s considered afternoon.”

"That's probably the world where Tony's been up since 4am tinkering with his latest suit," Steve chimed in, entering the kitchen with a knowing smile. He grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter and took a bite, eyes twinkling with amusement.

Natasha gave a weak chuckle which was quickly followed by a short cough into her elbow, rubbing a hand down the front of her throat. She swallowed and tried her best not to wince at the painful sensation which followed.

Of course you noticed. “I’ll grab you that water.” You rubbed her back gently for a moment before heading to the fridge.

“I didn’t even know you could get sick yknow.” Clint piped up, seemingly deciding to join in on the conversation. He’d previously been too engaged with trying to solve the children’s word search on the back of his brightly coloured cereal box.

She looked over towards him, “What do you mean?” Her eyes narrowed a little.

“I dunno.” He shrugged, “I just mean, I’ve never even seen you close to sick. Like when you had the gnarly shoulder cut that got infected, you didn’t even run a fever or anything like most people do.”

Tony pulled a face of disgust, “Barton, I really do not need to be hearing about gross shoulder gashes when I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, thank you very much.” Clint pulled a similar face to mock him before throwing a tea towel in his general direction, leading the two of them to start bickering at each other.

You’d just been handing your girlfriend the bottle of water when Bruce strolled in - adjusting his glasses and taking in the scene. "How come everyone's so chipper this morning," He asked dryly. "What's going on?"

"Romanoff’s caught the plague," Tony took a break from messing with Clint to speak in his most serious voice, earned several eyerolls from around the room, "But don't worry, Doctor Banner, I'm sure ‘Miss I Never Take Sick Days’ will pull through."

Natasha groaned, “God you’re such an asshole.” She sniffled, rubbing at her nose for a moment. Whatever itch she’d been trying to get rid of clearly hadn’t been listening because a second later she drew in a sharp breath and sneezed twice in quick succession.

It wasn’t exactly a dainty sound, like her usual sneezes rather harsher yet still somewhat feminine. Obviously, it was still adorable, but you couldn’t help but think now wasn’t the best thing to vocalise that.

Instead, you settled for a loving, “Bless you.” as you offered her a tissue from the box nearby. She mumbled a quiet thank you, dabbing at her nose. The teasing continued as you rubbed her back, trying to comfort her.

"Maybe she just needs more vitamins," Clint suggested with a smirk. "Or maybe a new suit of armour, Tony?"

"Please, like I'd let anyone else touch my suits," Tony replied, his voice dripping with mock horror. Natasha sneezed again, a little louder this time and he pointed over in her direction, “Plus there’s no way I’m letting someone that drippy inside one of my suits. I’m not in the mood to expose my lab to a walking biohazard.”

“You’re exhausting.” Natasha sniffled from behind a tissue. Her nose was starting to take on an irritated red twinge. She coughed again before clearing her throat roughly, “s’cuse me.”

You felt your gaze soften a little, “You’re okay sweetheart.” You spoke reassuringly, before offering an outstretched hand as you slid from your stool, “How ‘bout we head back up to bed, get you away from all the men-pheromones. They surely can’t be making you feel any better.”

It didn’t take much convincing for her to agree.

She accepted your hand gratefully as helped her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her as you both walked back to your room.

Once back in your room, you gently guided her to sit on the edge of the bed. "How about I run you a nice relaxing bath?" You suggested, brushing a stray curl from her forehead. The subtle heat rising from her skin didn’t go unnoticed though, “Poor girl, you're completely burning up here, aren’t you?”

You made a mental note to take her temperature and get some medicine into her later. You knew she’d likely fight you about it, but that bridge could be crossed when it came to it.

In the current moment Natasha nodded, “A bath sounds nice.” Her voice was a little worse than earlier, a little more congested and scratchier.

“Okay, give me a few minutes and I'll get it ready," You said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before heading into the bathroom.

It didn’t take long to draw the bath. You methodically checked it to make sure it wasn’t too hot nor cold, even going as far to add a generous squirt of your berry-scented bubble bath. You weren’t entirely sure she’d be able to smell it but the clouds of fluffy bubbles covering the surface of the water certainly did the job. The steam began to rise, filling the room with a comforting warmth. You smiled to yourself and drew a little heart on the condensation-soaked mirror before heading back out to get Nat.

Natasha wasn’t where you’d left her. Instead, she was led down on the bed, curled up with her back facing the door. You knew she wasn’t asleep by her breathing, so you gently came to sit by her side, “Natty?” You murmured quietly, reaching out to stroke her back when you noticed the damp sniffles coming from her. She was crying.

“Oh baby, what’s up my love?” You were pulling her into your arms in an instant. She clung onto you; her body wracked with feverish chills. You knew fevers made her weepy, but this was different. Your poor baby was distraught.

The redhead sobbed for a little longer, before sniffling thickly, “I don’t know.” She managed to stammer out, wiping her eyes but fresh tears quickly came to replace them.

“Was it the boys earlier?” You scowled, “I know they didn’t mean harm but-“

She shook her head, looking more vulnerable than you’d ever seen her, "No, it's not that. I’m just- I just feel so exhausted... my whole-body hurts and I feel so ill." Her voice cracked as she tried to speak, blinking as your hand gently moved up to wipe away the tears streaming down her fave.

You wrapped her in a gentle hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "I know, sweetheart, I know. It's sucks to feel sick; I understand especially how hard it is when you’re not used to it either. You’re my world Natasha, so just let me look after you, alright?”

She nodded after a moment and you gave her a few minutes to let it all out, holding her until she was ready. Eventually the tears stopped, and she looked up you again, “I’m okay. I’m sorry I just lost myself for moment.” She leaned away from you as she cough harshly, her poor voice sounding even worse then earlier.

You rubbed her back until she managed to stop coughing and catch her breath, “You’ve got nothing to apologise for. You and fevers don’t go well as if we both know but if we’re being honest, I think you needed that, to just get all of that out. Sometimes its better to cry it all out.”

“It still sucks though.”

“I won't argue with that,” You couldn’t hold back a chuckle. She did have a point. “How about we get you in that bath now?”

The offer wasn’t refused and soon the two of you were cooped up in the bathroom. You found yourself kneeling down by the side of the tub as you gently washed her hair, running your hand through her damp red curls.

“How does that feel baby? The steam should help open up your sinuses a little.”

Natasha closed her eyes, a small sigh escaping her lips. "It feels good, really good." Her voice was softer now, a bit more relaxed as she leaned into your touch. You continued to gently massage her scalp, feeling the tension slowly melt away under your fingers.

You reached for the cup nearby, carefully rinsing the shampoo from her hair, ensuring none of it got into her eyes. "You're doing great," You murmured, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

She sniffled again, but this time it wasn't accompanied by tears. "Thanks for taking care of me," She whispered, her eyes meeting yours with a grateful look.

“Of course.” You smiled lovingly. The two of you continued the talk quietly as you continued to wash her hair. Nat had insisted she was okay to sit by herself but the way her eyes kept drooping closed didn’t have you convinced. Eventually the water began to turn cold, and it was time for her to get out.

There was a fluffy towel ready and waiting to be wrapped around her. You’d already laid out a fresh pair of matching pyjamas for you both to change into.

You helped her into the pyjamas, making sure she was warm and comfortable. As she settled onto the bed, you pulled the covers up around her, tucking her in gently. Natasha's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but she opened them again, looking at you when she felt something being gently nestled into her hold.

Her small brown bear. Something only, you knew about. It brought her comfort when there was nobody else around, it was something you’d given to her before you’d gone on a long undercover mission. If anyone else knew how much it meant to her, she’d probably have to kill them. This was something only she could know.

"Do you need anything else my darling?" You asked quietly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face as you climbed beneath the covers beside her.

Rolling over to face you, Natasha buried her face in your chest, “Just you, only you.” She muttered before hiding a yawn against your shirt. You knew she’d be asleep soon and you began drawing random shapes down her back as she settled into your hold, her eyes fluttering closed as she fell into a gentle sleep.

It was true Natasha Romanoff didn’t get sick often but when she did? Well, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

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dontsh0vethesun · 1 year

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revolution 0

boy genius (the record) masterlist | masterlist

stepmother!wanda x fem!reader

if it isn't love, then what the fuck is it?

18+: stepcest, age gap, jealous and possessive wanda, smut; dubcon, oral to a strap, brief use of a gag, strap use (r!receiving), face riding, oral, mommy kink, choking, degradation, praise | word count: 1.7k

“Are you going somewhere?” Wanda spoke from your doorway, making you jump slightly at her sudden appearance and you glanced back at her through the mirror where you were getting ready.

“Oh, uh, yeah, Natasha’s taking me out,” you answered, the sight of her tightening grasp on the doorframe obstructed from your view.

“On a date?”

“Yeah. Well, we’re going for drinks, so,” you shrugged, turning round to face her and her relenting stare. Her eyes looked at you darkly, glinting with a jealousy you couldn’t place. She’d not yet had to witness someone attempting to take claim of what was hers but she wasn’t enjoying it.

She hummed a response, turning on her heel for a quick getaway before you could say anything else and you watched after her, missing the angered mumbles beneath her breath.

She occupied herself as best she could, bearing little mind to the sharp actions she carried out, letting doors swing closed heavily behind her and crockery clatter as she piled it high in kitchen cupboards. Her face was hot with a jealous fury she couldn’t shake, a pit swarming in her stomach with each step she took back upstairs to your room.

She didn’t bother to knock, smirking darkly at your small flinch at the door hitting into the wall. You looked so pretty, her little angel all dolled up and ready for your suitor. She’d do anything to keep the sight all to herself.

“Come here,” she muttered, taking a seat on the edge of your bed, beckoning you over with a manicured finger.

“Wanda, I don’t have time for-”

“I said come over here.”

There was no room left for argument and you couldn’t deny the spark that always lights at the husk of her commanding voice. You hate how pliable you become at just a darkened look from your stepmother, how she knew she could mold you like a pliable toy, pulling you towards her until you were right in front of her.

But despite each and every sensible part of you that tries to resist her, you’re always lulled in by her dug-in claws.

You didn’t resist when she pulled you onto her lap, ignoring the smirk against your lips - she knew she could get you to do whatever she wanted. When she kissed you, you knew it’d smudge the lip gloss you’d applied but it was pushed into the depths of your mind in favour of the all-consuming hold she had on your waist, pulling you closer until your knees were planted on either side of her.

Wanda’s tongue pushed against yours and her teeth pulled at your bottom lip; you shuddered beneath her touch when her hands crept beneath your skirt, inching higher until they met the material of your underwear.

“Wanda stop - I can’t,” you breathed against her, finally becoming aware of the spell she had you under, the one you’d tried to escape since the day it started. You knew it was wrong and you so hoped to find something real, something with true feelings and a romantic love you ached for. “I have to go.”

She didn’t listen to your protests though, nudging your underwear down your legs with her free arm looped tightly around you to keep you close. Before you knew it, they were torn from your body and balled in her fist while she looked at you possessively, lips twitching into a smile at the sound of knuckles tapping against the front door.

“On your knees. Now,” she spoke, pushing you away from her without a second glance at you when you reluctantly took your place.

“Wanda, I need to-”

“You don’t need to do anything apart from wait for mommy to get back.”

“Nat’s here, let me go to her.”

“Why? So you can go and act like a little slut?”

“So I can try and find someone to fall in love with - to have a relationship with.”

“I love you,” she uttered, sweet words dripping with a malice and accompanied with a sour look.

“This isn’t love, Wanda.”

“Then what the fuck is it?”

She halted any words you tried to muster with your underwear being harshly pushed past your lips and you wished you’d been able to hide the whimper at the back of your throat because, of course, she huffed a laugh knowing you were wrapped around her little finger.

You stayed where she left you, on your knees and silent; you listened to her retreating footsteps and the excuse of you coming down with an illness to the woman at the door.

She made you wait, taking her time before she sauntered back into the room with a prominent bulge in her jeans you knew wasn’t there before.

You didn’t speak any words you knew she didn’t want to hear when she pulled the material from your mouth and accepted the cock she swiped across your lips instead. You slackened your jaw at the rough hold she took of your hair, accepting her strap she fucked into your mouth peering down at you dominantly whilst it hit the back of your throat.

She watched pleasurably as your eyes began to water at her harsh actions, digging her nails into your scalp to pull you into her, bobbing your head to cover her cock with your spit.

“You’re just a filthy whore, aren’t you?” she murmured. “So fucking desperate for your mommy’s cock.”

You could only nod with any space in your mind taken up completely by her. If there’s one thing the older woman’s good at, it’s turning your mind into a haze of her and only her.

She reveled in the sight of her strap when she pulled it away, shining with your saliva, lips wet and begging to be taken by her again. She didn’t let you catch your breath before she pushed her own lips into yours and guided you backward until your head was on your pillows and her body was atop yours.

Her hold on you was addictive. You held onto her hips, silently begging for the intrusion of the cock that teasingly hit against your cunt with each subtle move she made.

“If you want it, you’re gonna have to beg for it, honey,” she murmured, sitting up onto her knees as she looked down at your smudged makeup. In a deceiving act of gentleness, she cupped your jaw with a stroke of your thumb over your cheek, trailing downwards to take ahold of your neck with a squeeze, her nails leaving impressions in the skin.

“Please, mommy,” you choked out, peering up with desperate eyes.

“Apologise,” she stated through clenched teeth. “Tell me you’re sorry for being a slut just because mommy wasn’t giving you enough attention.”

“I’m sorry, Wanda. I’m sorry, please, I need you,” each word was tinted with a desperate plea. “I only want you.”

You admired the smile of success she sported at your confession, rewarding you with the head of her dick stretching you out as she pushed into your soaked cunt. She filled your hole slowly, listening to the way you sighed at each inch she buried into you, watching herself disappear into you with your skirt pushed up to your hips.

She let you get used to the feeling, allowing you to pull her shirt over her head as she removed yours. Undressing one another until bare chests were flush together whilst she kissed you with heated fervour, beginning a steady pace with the rutting of her hips. Despite the kiss that showed affection, her thrusts reached deep within you, harsh and rough with the sound of skin hitting skin.

Each stroke of her hips pulled sounds from you that she adored, a pleasure coursing through both of you. Her lips trailed over your neck with bites of her teeth sinking into the flesh, leaving marks scattered behind which she’ll be sure to admire until they fade. You grabbed at Wanda’s back to keep her close, legs wrapped around her waist to pull her into you.

None of her actions were soft, not the way her teeth pulled at your nipple nor the grip she had on your throat. With each entrancing feeling she lay upon your body, the pleasure within you built, and the thumb she rubbed over your clit pulled you to the precipice of the edge.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Show me I’m the only one who could ever make you feel this good.”

Her voice was rasped and deep and her chest leaned into the touch of your hands to her breasts, the toying of her nipples between your finger and thumb. The world was just a blur when it came to Wanda, she had a talent for making you forget everything else during the throes of pleasure.

You came with incoherent moans of her name, soaking the cock that rode you through your high with pushes into your pussy, arching your torso into the musing scraping of her nails as she watched you catch your breath.

You only watched her with heavy breaths falling past your parted lips as she put her strap aside and climbed her way up your body, her eyes glancing down at you through her lashes.

“Put that mouth to use,” she smirked. “You’ve got mommy all worked up.”

Your arms wrapped around her thighs as she lowered herself onto your face. You instantly licked through her folds to hear the moan she let out above you, humming at the taste of her arousal-coated cunt.

She fucked herself onto your lips as they sucked at her aching clit, your tongue lapping through her slit with all the desperation to obey what she wanted - you needed to make her feel as good as she makes you feel. She fixed her eyes on yours and the sight only made you work harder; the way her lip was caught between her teeth and her hand that wasn’t tightly holding onto the headboard squeezed her breast, flicking her thumb over a hardened nipple.

“Fuck, baby, you’re doin’ so good,” she breathed, punctuated with broken moans. Her skin was hot and flushed pink with her arousal and her body moved to chase her orgasm. You swallowed down each drop of her as you could when she came onto your tongue while her thighs trapped your head between them.

When she pulled away she eyed the way your chin shone with her juices, the way your tongue darted out to clean your lips.

“I hope you know I’m not done with you,” she uttered, taking a firm grip of your jaw. “And don’t even think about going on any dates ever again.”

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader smut #wanda maximoff #marvel fanfic

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romanoffsbish · 7 months

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Double the Trouble

Yelena Belova x F!R (Platonic / Focus)

Natasha x F!R / Wanda x Yelena (Romantic)

Warnings: Drugs (Weed) | Alcohol Referenced

When your girls are off to save the day, you and Yelena have plans to stay and play. | WC: 1,852

Behave; this is what your girlfriends said when they left for their mission this morning, it was offensive and truth be told, only likely to warrant the opposite.

Who were they to tell you what you and Yelena should do? They being Wanda and Natasha, who lived their life off of some moral code, whereas you two didn't.

Quite the contrary really, at your cores you two were on the right side but you both also craved mischief.

To behave is to concede, and you two were far too stubborn to; to see their intentions weren't malicious.

——

Which is why neither of you listened to your lover.

There was a distinct odor to the room, bouncing off the cement walls of your garage that was decorated to look like a lounge. In one corner sat a record player that currently spun a random vinyl of Natasha's to fill the otherwise quiet space. An unlikely find when the both of you were usually in the same room together, but you were rather preoccupied and the blonde was irritated.

"Cyka," Yelena groaned, "stop hogging the blunt!"

You smirked around the damp filter, rolled your eyes then continued on, sucking on the burning stick until the smoke circling your chest sufficed you enough to allow Yelena a turn. "I am not giving this back."

"Whatever," you chuckled as you pulled another joint from the pile you'd spent an entire hour rolling. To be honest there was no reason to share the blunt, but in your sober state you'd deemed it the cautious play.

Now though, with the weed already infiltrating your mind you decided to throw all caution to the wind and sparked up another in mere seconds of losing the last.

The lack of conversation was no longer a concern, the tense atmosphere gone as you both settled into your highs... "Do you think babies can understand us?"

You snorted harshly, nearly choking on the inhale you just took in but you somehow managed to turn the cough into a burning sensation instead. "What?!"

"Listen to me Y/N Y/L/N!" Yelena pointlessly shouted, your attention was already on her. "What if when we are born we have the ability to just understand? Like, maybe our soul is still attached to our old lives?"

You hummed, "interesting," then took a final hit before putting the nearly finished blunt out so you could shift to face the blonde, with the amusingly low tolerance.

Yelena pouted, her signature expression. "What?"

"Oh, it's nothing serious Lena, it's just—I didn't really peg you for the type to believe in reincarnation."

"I don't fully," she replied with furrowed brows, and pursed lips, "I think old souls live in us momentarily before they leave to their afterlife. Leaving only a small part of themselves behind so we can be individuals."

You nodded, though you didn't quite see it the same.

"I think the ones that look like old people understand us—like, a two month old fella with hella wrinkles."

Yelena cackled, "Oh no, those babies are so ugly!"

You slapped her shoulder that had jerked off the couch with just how intensely her amusement had flowed.

"Hey, they need time to grow into their features!" You shook your head, "You can't call a baby ugly, asshole!"

"I did," Yelena flatly replied as she took another drag, smoke following her next words, "and I always will."

You looked at her astonished and she shrugged her shoulders. "What? You Americans need to face the cold hard truth, not everyone thinks your living, breathing potato looks cute. Some babies are ugly, it is simple."

You huffed, "but they're just babies, you can't—."

"Why can you call adults ugly?" Yelena cut you off.

"I don't," you groaned and she laughed, "Y/N, you literally told Bruce he was uglier than a pile of shit."

"That's different," you whined, "he flirted with Nat."

"Potato, po-tato, either way babies can be ugly."

"But-."

"Move on, I have more thoughts to explore."

"Are they all offensive?"

Yelena smirked. "Oh, most definitely..."

"Then I'll need another one of these," you concluded, one hand rubbed at your temples while the other reached for a packed joint. "Give me one too, cyka."

You passed the blonde another one then moved off of your bean bag so that you could lay on the furry rug. A shiver ran down your spine as the cold material rubbed against your bare arms where goosebumps rose. You giggled as you released a cloud of smoke and peered up at your pouting best friend. "Why so glum, chum?"

Another giggle left you as she grunted and dropped to sit down beside you, her legs crossed over one another. A rough hand gently caressed your cheek but you knew better than to trust the moment to remain sweet. In less than a seconds time she squished your cheeks and laughed maniacally as you struggled in her grasp.

"I hate you," you spat, words slurred as she hadn't let go yet. Once she did you continued to bitterly rant on, tone full of faux resentment, "I don't know why I even put up with you Belova. Wanda must be a saint."

"Because my bud is premium," she deadpanned, then her lips upturned softly. "And I'm your best friend."

You grinned then sighed, reluctant to admit, "You are."

"Come on," she shook your shoulders as she jumped to her feet. "We cannot let the weed slumber kick in yet!"

Reluctantly, you stood to your feet and wobbled over to the blonde who was stood waiting by your foldable table. Just like every time before you faced her and settled your elbow down on your side of the table.

"I am tired," you grumbled but the blonde didn't care. Her jacket was shrugged off and her hand linked with yours. "We have to be stronger than the weed loser."

"But why?" You exasperated, hand slamming hers into the table in the heat of the moment. "Oh my god!!!"

"No," Yelena immediately negated, "I wasn't ready."

"I don't care," you squealed and did a lap around the couch to release your excitement. "I finally won!"

Yelena shook her head, afraid of what you were about to say. "I get to pick your wedding entry song!!!"

"No," she growled, knowing damn well what this likely entailed. Your love for jokes superseded your loyalty.

A fight ensued as you turned the record player off and spoke, "Hey Siri, play my Yelena's entrance playlist."

"Y/N, I swear to god," she groaned, her arm swung out to swat your phone from your hand as a universally familiar tune played—clown music, how funny; not.

Yelena chased a giggling you around the room for several minutes before you started to slow down. Giving her the perfect opportunity to tackle you onto the same carpet she forced you to vacate earlier.

"Say sike right now or I will do it," Yelena threatened, her hands par curled beside your sides, you gulped knowing exactly how ruthless of a tickler she was.

"Hey siri," you squeaked, "play Lena's wedding song."

Yelena's eyes widened as she recognized the familiar tune of her favorite song, American Pie, but it was not the exact same. Instead it was void of the usual lyrics, slowed down on a piano alone and pitched upwards.

It brought tears to the blonde's eyes and she dropped to the floor beside you with a warm smile. "I hate you."

"I hate you too," you yawned, lips smacking almost dramatically as the cotton mouth hit you full force.

In contrast to the both of your baseless words you didn't let go of the blonde, you actually only held on tighter and she cuddled up to you as well, as sleep consumed the both of your drugged up minds entirely.

—

On a bed, only a city over sat your fiancé with a hand on her stomach as she came down from her laughter. Wanda was on the bed beside hers in a similar state.

"Do you think she'll call our baby ugly?"

Natasha smirked. "Oh, most definitely..."

"Shut up," the witch groaned then averted her gaze back to the screen where the tomfoolery took place.

"Do you think they'll be mad when they find out?"

Natasha blinked away her tears of amusement and shrugged, this was truly their favorite past time. Every month, without fail, the women announce an overnight mission knowing you and Yelena would use that time to unwind together with your favorite substances.

Most of the time you two smoked weed, but on the rare occasion, her birthday, Yelena could convince you to down a bottle or two of pure vodka. Those times were usually under semi-supervision though. The one time Natasha or Wanda didn't they found the both of you passed out on the rooftop in clothes bigger than you.

No explanations were given, and quite frankly they preferred not knowing. Fortunately weed slowed the two of you down more than anything, so for a few hours they'd get endless laughs before you succumbed to the glorious sleep that always follows a dank sesh.

"Honestly, I think they know us enough to expect this. Y/N's even hinted to me that she knows, but this is harmless and helpful since they respect us too much to engage in their nefarious activities when we are there."

Wanda smiled, feeling more confident as she settled back into the plush pillow that lined the hotel bed. It was foreign to her to experience such comfort when Yelena insisted on hogging the pillows so that the witch had no other choice but to use her chest as a cushion.

Normal partners just ask to cuddle, but Yelena says, "I'm pretty sure I have scoliosis, I need them," and yanks the brunette into her embrace without fail.

With the two of you in your weed induced slumber the witch found herself near the same outcome. Then as if annoying others ran in the family, Natasha spoke tension into the peaceful air, "But since you lost our bet, and will be playing these clips at your wedding reception next month Lena will most definitely make you sleep on the hotel couch on your honeymoon."

"I hate you," Wanda groaned and threw her pillow at the smirking redhead who caught it with ease. "And yet you're signing on for a life of being my sister in law."

Natasha winked then laid the witches pillow beneath her head, "thanks for the extra cushion, I needed it."

Wanda fell back on her mattress with a sigh, "Cyka." Then a soft smile followed as she felt warmth in her chest at the reminder that she had a family, again.

Natasha flipped her off, but as she laid on her side with her phone propped on the stolen pillow she smiled just the same. Yelena was cuddled into your side and you unconsciously held her with such care that it made the redhead thankful as she reminisced your relationship.

This was all she ever wanted, her little found family.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff blurb #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x reader #gxg #natasha x reader #yelena belova #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova x wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha x fem!reader #natasha x you #natasha romanoff fluff

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silhouetteonpaper · 30 days

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Public Figure

Summary: The world wants to know all about you as the newest addition to the Avengers. But what happens when a normal interview session digs up something you’ve never told a soul… not even Natasha? Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 1,616 Warnings: Mentions of killing

“A new addition to the Avengers leaves the city on the edge of their seats as we all wait to hear more about this young recruit. A public Q&A with the new Avenger in question is set to take place this week. Stay tuned for more coverage on all things current…”

You turn the volume of the TV down, your commitment to attending this public event starting to fill you with regret. It’s been a week of officially being a part of the team, and to say the city is going crazy would be an understatement.

“How’re you feeling?” Natasha sits down beside you on the couch, eyeing the TV as the newscaster spews more words about you and the rest of the team.

You shrug, rubbing your forehead to try and push away the increasing stress. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous.” She consoles you, but you’re aware she doesn’t know the real reason why you’re so anxious about the whole ordeal.

“What if the world isn’t ready for… someone like me?” You ask, partially rhetorically—but something in you hopes Nat has a real answer. The city has created turmoil over certain Avengers in the past, and the last thing you want is to cause commotion. All you’re trying to do is save the world, which you’d think would make everyone like you. Unfortunately, it’s never that simple.

Natasha takes a deep breath, seeming to search her brain for the right words. “Look, it’s up to you how you present yourself, but you can’t control how everyone else sees you. I know for a fact you’ve done so much good here, and that’s all I care about.” Nat offers you a smile.

You wish you could return it, but something inside you churns with guilt. “What about my past? All those records… someone’s likely to dig them up. It’ll make me look like the monster I used to be—or maybe still am…” You become lost in your own thoughts, the idea of someone digging up your past haunting your present.

A part of you has never let go of the person you used to be, in the off chance someone betrays your trust or sets you up for failure. You’re physically a different person now, making great waves with the Avengers, doing good all around the world—but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about the person you left behind before moving into the compound.

“If they go low enough to do that to you, we can deal with it,” Natasha’s continued support pulls you out of your thoughts. “You know I understand that better than anyone. Do I look worried?” She raises her eyebrows.

You finally smile, shaking your head. “No, but that’s not fair because you never look worried.”

“Because there’s nothing to be worried about.”

The day of the event finally arrives, and you’re already on the verge of a breakdown. Natasha has prepped everything ahead of time so you wouldn’t have to use extra energy, starting with the freshly ironed outfit hanging in your closet.

You feel mostly prepared when it’s time to drive over to the venue, two of your biggest supporters right at your side. Tony and Natasha are even more ready than you are, the pair ready to defend any harmful questions and comments.

As great as it is to have such powerful people at your side, it only does so much to aid the growing nerves inside you. “Breathe. This’ll be over before you know it. We just need to answer some questions, let them get to know you, and then we’ll go celebrate.” Natasha explains with a calm voice.

You only manage to nod as you worry talking will expel all the air in your lungs. As soon as the sleek van arrives outside the tall pillared building, you’re greeted by a storm of paparazzi camera flashes. Nat warned you about this, but nothing could have prepared you for the intense crowd shoving cameras and microphones your way.

Tony attempts to hold off the extra pushy photographers, but he can only do so much swimming upstream. As soon as you make it into the building, there’s no time to take a breath as a crowd of important looking people sit staring directly at you.

Breath. Natasha mouths, offering yet another warm smile. You take a deep breath, heading forward with one foot in front of the other.

A facilitator guides the three of you to a table on a raised stage, the perfect amount of room for three to sit at the microphone-filled surface. You find a spot right in the middle, knowing exactly what’s coming the second you sit down.

“Question!”

“Over here!

“Miss, question!”

A caucus of voices fills the room, soon being silenced as the facilitator calls on one. “Ma’am, please describe to us the superhuman capabilities you bring to the team.”

You swallow thickly while leaning into the bouquet of microphones. “Well, uhm… I can manipulate energy. Turning off lights, powering machines, emitting beams of light… uh, yeah.” You lean back, taking another deep breath.

The sudden eruption of voices makes you jump, the facilitator following the same routine and calling on another person. “Does the team feel that these abilities have the possibility to be dangerous?”

You knew it was coming, a question like this. Natasha sees your frozen state and is quick to comment before you have the chance. “Anyone can be dangerous with the wrong intentions. We wouldn’t have recruited her if we didn’t feel she was a great asset. Not only is she doing well in training, she’s exceeding our original expectations.” You nod at her in thanks, getting one in return.

“What do you have to say about the murder of Jean Ridley?” An interviewer juts in. Your mouth goes dry, any response unable to form. The cacophony of voices fills the room as you go completely quiet. Jean Ridley, the young girl who was just trying to live her life, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Back when you were on your streak of crime—before the Avengers took you in—you wouldn’t hesitate to demolish anything in your path to succeed. Including the little girl who didn’t even know what she was a part of. In an attempt to terminate a larger target, Jean just happened to be a casualty. An even larger casualty than you realized at the time.

“I implore you to ask our newest recruit questions about her current position, otherwise we’re done here.” Natasha’s voice brings you back from the overflowing guilt spreading across your mind like wildfire. You slide your hands under the table as they begin to shake, attempting to press them against your thighs before anyone has a chance to see the weak criminal that somehow made it onto the team.

Natasha looks at you and nods, her gaze quickly darting to your hands before she places her own on top. The shaking is soothed, but your nerves aren’t. The crowd of voices continues as the flood of worry destroys your mind. Everyone knows your past now, and there’s nothing you can do to hide it.

The rest of the interview session goes as smooth as it could have, the last of the inappropriate questions ending when Tony finally threatened to expose every document the council is holding, his defense being ‘if I can find it, it’s public information.’

The drive home is silent, but that’s not to say you don’t feel the pressure of Natasha’s eyes on you the whole way back. As soon as you arrive at the compound, you make a swift escape to your room. The only thing you want is to hide yourself from the rest of the world, your entire past seeming to chase you back into the dark abyss you came from.

The second your door slams shut, the noise stops. All the voices in your head screaming you’re a monster, you’ll never be a hero, get trapped in the hallway. The silence is peaceful, no shouting interviewers or civilians with snide questions. Just you and the cold surface of the door on your back.

But it’s unfortunately short lived as a soft knock sounds. You move away from the door, already guessing the person standing on the other side. The overwhelming tornado of insecurities topples into your room as the Widow walks in, a concerned expression painted on her face.

You already know what’s coming, a long winded pep-talk about how you’re more than your past. You don’t even bother lifting your head when Natasha bends down beside you.

“Look,” Her sudden firmness takes you by surprise. “What they said was wrong, but you can’t control what others say or do. You can either sit here and weep, or get out there and prove to them they’re wrong.”

Natasha’s words leave you speechless as your gaze slowly finds her. She’s looking directly at you, her green eyes warm yet expression stern. That’s when you realize you don’t have a choice.

Again and again, Natasha has directed you onto the best path. From recruiting you for the Avengers, to training you, to avoiding utter chaos in the face of the public eye—Nat’s proved she knows what she’s talking about.

“I know it’s hard to keep moving forward when the entire world is trying to paint you as something you’re not, but the only thing you can do is show them who you really are.” She affirms, her eyes still stuck on you.

And in this moment, you know she’s right. There’s no reason to sit here in self pity, rehashing the past that won’t ever just disappear no matter how hard you shove it down. The only thing you can do—the only thing left to do—is prove them all wrong. To show them the hero you can truly be.

#marvel #mcu #the avengers #marvel fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader

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traveler-at-heart · 10 months

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Secrets

Summary: You try to keep your relationship a secret!

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R

It was fun at first.

The thrill of sneaking around, secret glances, hidden touches. It had been quite a ride to get to where you were with Natasha, and knowing how the team could be, you both wanted to keep your relationship to yourselves, at least for a little while.

One of your secret spots were the stairs. With a building so big, it was natural that everyone took the elevator. It was the perfect place to meet the redhead and more often than not, the conversation progressed into an intense make out session that left you breathless.

“Is the elevator broken?” Steve asks as you come back from one of your little escapades. You jump at his presence, your mind still thinking about the feeling of Natasha’s lips on yours.

“Uh… no. It’s working just fine. I like to take the stairs to… exercise”

“That’s a nice idea. Maybe I’ll try it one of these days” he nods.

Cap and his obliviousness, sweet old man. He has no idea you’re all flushed for reasons that have nothing to do with coming up the steps.

Still, you think nothing of it. He was probably trying to be nice when he said it was a good idea. The next day, when you’re lost in Natasha, intoxicated by her supple lips and the way they move against your own, you miss the sound of heavy footsteps and an off key whistle.

“Crap” Natasha is the first to react, breaking apart. You turn to look down, Steve taking the steps two at a time.

Fit bastard.

“Morning!” he says, too happy for your liking.

“Oh, hi, we were just…”

“We?” he echoes, and you look around. No trace of Natasha.

“I mean, me. I was just taking a break. I think I’ll go back to taking the elevator”

“You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, just a bit agitated. Nothing to worry, Cap”

Steve nods and smiles.

“I told everyone about your great idea. I think people will start using the stairs more”

“Oh, that’s just peachy”

Once again, he is oblivious to your actual feelings. After he’s gone, Natasha jumps from behind the staircase.

“Jesus, how did you manage to do that so quickly”

“Well, you always have to be ready for a quick escape, detka”

Natasha leans forward and pecks your lips, but before she can do anything else, you drag her back to the hallway.

“You heard Cap. Our secret spot is no longer secret”

—

So far, you haven’t found a decent replacement for the stairs, except for a supply closet. And by God, you are not that desperate.

As you cook dinner, Natasha comes up behind you, and you relax against her.

“I’ve missed you” she says against your shoulder, placing small kisses that tickle you.

“I missed you too, love”

A hand goes around your middle and she toys with the hem of your shirt, lips kissing your neck, and that sweet spot behind your earlobe that makes you shiver.

“Nat” you moan, and you don’t know if you want her to stop or keep going.

Yelena answers that for you as she steps inside, eyes widening. You draw blank, because honestly, how can you explain this?

Natasha takes matters into her own hands, literally, as she hugs you and pretends to do the Heimlich maneuver.

“She’s choking” Natasha says and Yelena scrambles around.

“Oh, my God, Y/N, please don’t die”

The redhead pretends to help you, squeezing your middle and you cough.

“I think I’m…”

Unfortunately, the blonde is too freaked out and pushes Natasha away, thinking she’s helping you.

As she presses against your sternum, you are suddenly out of breath and you swear you can feel your ribs cracking.

“Ok, I’m fine, Yelena, thanks” you break free of her hold, sure that your sides will be bruised next morning.

Yelena doesn’t let you cook anymore, so you end up with a dinner of mac and cheese, and Natasha’s sister sitting in the middle while you three watch tv.

“I’m sorry” Natasha says when her sister gets up to grab another soda.

“Just for the record, this isn’t the type of choking I had in mind”

—

“They’re gonna be here any minute” you say against Natasha’s shoulder.

“I know” she bites your neck and you sink further into her lap.

The Quinjet, out of all places is where you find some privacy. The rest of the team will join shortly, as you have a recon mission.

But you can’t keep your hands to yourself and you end up naked, straddling Natasha’s lap as she moves her fingers inside of you.

“God, you look so pretty like this” she says against your chest.

“Nat, more” you plead. It’s too much and too little at the same time. She listens, moving her hand faster and your hips match her pace.

“God. Yes” you collapse in her arms.

“Request to open gate” FRIDAY informs and you curse, because you want more than a second to catch your breath.

Sneaking around is getting old now.

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up” Natasha says, helping you up. She looks proud when your legs shake.

“Shut up” you say, which only makes her smile wider.

While the team enters the Quinjet, you go back to the bathroom with Nat as you hurriedly put your suits on.

“Red? Y/N?” Tony calls for you.

“Here” you raise your arm, feeling a bit tense. Maybe you pulled a muscle.

Stark nods your way and starts the Quinjet, while Steve goes over the plan with everyone else. You stay seated, vaguely aware that something feels different but you can’t tell what it is.

“Be careful” Natasha says when you part ways, squeezing your hand.

Your job is to keep an eye on the guards at the south gate and stop them if they are called to attack the intel team.

Which unfortunately does happen, so you run to shoot, kick and punch at every one of them.

There are two guards left, and as you reach for your gun, something incredibly unexpected happens.

Your suit opens right in the front, revealing your red lacy bra.

“What the fuck” you shout, looking down.

The guard in front of you opens his mouth, completely enthranced by your cleavage.

“New strategy?” Tony flies over, knocking him down. He sends the last man standing across the room.

“No! I don’t know what happened!”

You try to cover but the leather is not giving in.

“Ok, well. We’re done here so you can put all that” he gestures to your chest. “Back in the Quinjet”

Rolling your eyes, and with your arms crossed in front of you, you walk back to the jet.

As you lock eyes with Natasha, you finally notice how her own suit is loose on the shoulders.

You switched when you were getting dressed.

“I like this new look” Sam wiggles his eyebrows and Natasha sends a widow bite straight to his ass.

“Oops” she shrugs her shoulders as he glares.

Feeling a little better after that, you go inside and find a t-shirt to cover up.

When you leave the bathroom, everyone is silent.

“Ok, it’s not like you all haven’t seen boobs before. So get over yourselves. Except Steve, he gets a pass” you bark at them.

“I’ve seen boobs before” he tries to say but no one pays attention.

Natasha stays silent and you think she might be upset or reconsidering this whole thing.

You expect the worse as you land and she leads you back to your room.

“Nat…”

The redhead holds her finger up, taking your shirt off and sinking her face in your breasts.

“Really?”

“Mine” she grumbles, her hands squeezing possessively.

Well, at least some good came out of it.

—

The atmosphere is tense.

Clint, Wanda, Peter and you are playing Jenga.

Honestly, you are the one at a disadvantage here. With Clint’s aim and the enhanced individuals, you don’t stand a chance.

The way Natasha looks at you from across the room doesn’t help either.

It’s been a few days since you were together. Fury called her for an urgent mission and you had to resist the urge to sneak into the Quinjet and beg her to fuck you against the console.

And now, she’s back and you can’t wait for the night to wrap up so you can wrap your legs around her while she eats your…

“Gah!” Wanda screeches, knocking over the tower. “My mind, my eyes”

Crap.

“Wanda, a word?” you plead, dragging her out of the living room while Clint and Peter stare.

“You” she slaps your arm. “And you” she glares at Natasha as she approaches, pushing you both to her room.

“Sorry, we are keeping it a secret for now”

“But your thoughts are so loud” she massages her temples, clearly distraught. “I was so focused on the game and still I could hear everything, see everything”

“Sorry” you grimace. “Do you think you could… not tell anyone? For a bit”

“Oh, trust me, I’m very eager to pretend none of this happened”

“Thanks, Wanda” Natasha says and the girl nods.

“It’s nice to see you both happy. Just try to keep your thoughts to yourselves”

“We’ll try”

Wanda nods, walking out. Natasha’s quick to push you against the wall, eyes darkened by lust.

“Wanna tell me what was on your mind?”

“Can you at least wait for me to leave the hallway?!” Wanda screams from outside.

“You have ten seconds, Maximoff”

“Thanks, I hate you”

—

You figure a little distance from everyone will do you good.

So, you get tickets to a Yankees game and spend the day in the city with Natasha.

Even if you are only a half hour away from the Compound, among the sea of people, no one looks at you when you hold her hand, or share a kiss in the middle of your walk.

“This is nice” you smile, bringing her hand to your lips.

The first half of the game is slow, but you enjoy the time eating popcorn and making comments with Natasha about the score.

During the break, several people in the audience are featured in the screens. A girl chugs an entire beer while the crowd goes wild.

“Damn” you laugh, but the next image you see is you, next to Natasha.

The kiss cam.

“No, we’re fine” you wave your arms and the crowd boos. “Ok, not nice!”

“Don’t be such a baby” she smiles, pulling you closer.

“Pretty sure Steve and Bucky are watching the game back home”

“You jump, I jump” she leans forward, allowing you to decide if you wanna do this or not. As your lips meet in a short kiss, everyone starts clapping and cheering you on.

“Are you sure about what we just did?”

“Very. I’m tired of hiding. You make me happy. What’s wrong with that?” Natasha says and you smile against her lips.

“You are so getting lucky tonight”

But before you can kiss her again, both of your phones go crazy with texts from everyone on the team.

Tony: Is this why Wanda asked me for a way to erase her memory?

Sam: Now I know why you electrocuted my ass, Red!

Wanda: DONT COME NEAR ME

“Still think we made the right call?” you roll your eyes as the texts keep coming.

“Absolutely, detka” she says before kissing you softly.

Yeah. It’s gonna be ok.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff fluff

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b0xerdancer-writes · 15 days

Text

Bound Together Part 1

Alpha!Steve x Alpha!Bucky x Alpha! Sam x Omega!Reader

Summary: The Avengers are more than Earth's mightiest heroes, they are seen as one of the mightiest packs bound by years of loyalty, rivalry, trust, and love. When a new Omega joins the team, a friend of Natasha and Clint's as an Ex-SHIELD agent, it causes the trio of mated Alphas to panic and lose sleep. Shes caught not only the eye of the public, but of the alphas as well, and she might just be the key in strengthening the pack further.

Warnings: This is Omegaverse so all the warnings that come with that, I switch POVS twice, 18+ only on this as there is implied 18+content and this series will eventually have smut. This will be a bit of a passive aggressive slow burn.

Word Count: 11,409

Notes: This took me a bit to write and is my first time writing Omegaverse myself. I wanted to have a slower paced yet still getting the reader into the team dynamic as a good lil intro. Feedback is welcomed so are reblogs! Do not repost my work, the only other place i post fics on is AO3. This will eventually get added to a series masterlist/Avengers masterlist. Inspired to write this by the The Sun, the Moon and the Stars series by @crazyunsexycool, go read it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the eyes of the world, the Avengers were more than just Earth’s mightiest heroes-they were Earth’s mightiest pack, years of working together having forged unbreakable bonds rooted in instinct, loyalty, and love for one another. It was no secret that while the strength of the pack was an unmovable force of unity the reason the bonds within the pack were so strong was because of the intricate web of mates and sibling-like bonds, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson were a formidable trio and example of the strength of bonds within the pack since all three being Alphas mated to one another, while other known mates were Natasha(Alpha) and Bruce(Omega), Tony(Omega) and Pepper(Alpha) who the pack had come to see as a mom like figure despite her rebuttal she was in fact not the mom friend of the group, and Wanda(Omega) and Vision(Alpha). While mating bonds were a strong presence in the pack, sibling bonds were just as rampant: Nat and Clint(Beta), Tony and Bruce, Tony and Rhodey, Sam and Clint, just to name a few considered each other with a sibling like point of view. Every bond formed within the pack made it stronger and more complex, they were one massive family that the public couldn’t help but to envy for one reason or another but also adore for just as many reasons.

In the eyes of the public the Avengers and their pack had made leaps and bounds in the world that was secondary genders; Natasha was a leading figure in the Alpha female world and Tony in exchange was a leading figure in the Omega male world, both having set up clinics and safe spaces for their designations. Clint was a prime example how Betas still had a place in a pack dynamic as the main person to calm everything down when emotions were rampant on everyone's sides and Steve, Bucky, and Sam were Icons of same designation relationships even if two out of the three didn’t really know to what extent. Everything the Avengers did as a pack from public appearances to missions that had been recorded by bystanders was on observation, life in the compound was their break away from all of it; needless to say the public took notice when a new face popped up consistently with the already gigantic pack.

Whispers and rumors spread like wildfire, “What was her palace in the pack?” or “What designation is she?” to “Do you think she has a mate on the team and if so who?”, speculation went rampant almost overnight about who the new member could possibly be. It wasn’t long before Cap and Tony were making an announcement about the newest member: An Omega, an ex-SHIELD agent like NAt and Clint, who was close with both of the other ex-SHIELD agents. They had announced her hero name as ‘Lynx’, an enhanced individual that was a force to be reckoned with just like the rest of the pack, when questioned about her abilities she had answered questions as minimally as possible, anxious to be put in front of the millions of fans who all wanted to know about her: the nickname had come from Fury as a joke about her enhanced feline like abilities and reflexes that also made her a master of stealth , on top of her ability to withstand extreme cold Fury saw her as an invaluable stealth asset.

When her name went public news articles had begun to pop up left and right about her history, when Natasha had leaked all of SHIELD’s files to the public Lynx’s files had been in there too. Though the public quickly became used to her as an Avenger and a familiar face she was most often with Natasha and Clint at the beginning of her time with the team, though the chatter about her quickly picked back up when it was noticed she had started becoming a regular presence, both in public and on missions, with the trio of mated alphas; chatter and gossip about how the three alphas might have finally found someone to balance their dynamic, though when Steve read the article aloud to the other two in the private darkness of their shared bedroom one night before they all passed out he couldn’t help but to think of just how on the nose that article was. Sam and Bucky had agreed with Steve, it was on the nose and they just had to figure out how to get the Omega to agree to court them, since her presence and scent were nagging on all three of them since they had met her; it didn’t seem that thought about making her their Omega was going to leave any of their hindbrains anytime soon either.

Natasha and Clint had returned late one night, tipsy and in good spirits, after they had canceled on a pack movie night. They had walked in on a showing of The Hobbit since it was Bucky’s night to pick a movie and he had just found out there was a film adaptation of it, which had resulted in Tony pausing the movie to pick a bone with the two who had walked in coffees in hand and laughing like mad men.

He had perked up from his spot squeezed against Pepper in the corner of the massive double sectional U-shaped couch, turning to look over the back at them as he cleared his throat; the rest of the pack rolling their eyes at his nosiness. “So, where have you two been? I think we deserve a reason as to why you both canceled at the last minute. Even your mate won’t tell us why Nat and that is just plain mean Red.”

Nat laughed, actually Laughed and it had Bruce perking up over the couch from his spot on the floor in front of the couch, he always liked her laugh and it was rare for one to come so unprompted. “We had a friend who came into town late last night, we haven't seen her since SHIELD so we went out for some drinks, grabbed some coffee, and then we walked her back to her apartment. She lives in town but often travels for work so she's rarely here in town at the same time as both Clint and I. If you must know Tony, you nosey omega, that's where we have been.”

Tony nodded satisfied but it had gotten Steve’s attention. “Since SHIELD? I’m assuming she was an agent like you?”

Nat nodded. “Yeah, she's been doing private ops stuff for Fury since SHIELD fell and we have been pestering here about putting in a transfer to join our team, she's an omega who's enhanced, so I figured she would fit right in here.”

All of the Omega’s perked up at the thought of having another Omega around, there was far too many Alphas in the tower compared to Omegas and Betas, though it was Tony who with a sly smirk plastered on his face extended the invitation. “Well, if you think she should be on this team you should bring her around. Introductions should be in order especially if she's gonna keep stealing you two away from pack nights. If we like her we can keep her.”

Clint snorted at Tony’s tone and wording like she was a stray animal in need of a home, in fact he had to take a sip from his coffee to prevent himself from laughing at the image of his friend looking like a stray dog, giving them puppy dog eyes and standing soaking wet in the rain, even though he knew she was fine where she was at and didn't want to intrude on an already heavily bonded pack.

Nat nodded, taking a sip from her own iced coffee. “Then I’ll extend an invitation, when were you thinking Tony since it's your idea?”

Tony hummed, faking that he had to think it over. “Tomorrow night, think of it as a birthday present for myself from you. If I like her, we can keep her. Deal?”

Clint snorted, amused. “She's not a stray to take in Tony.”

Tony tilted his head away, as he settled back into his spot. “We will see about that, if I like her we keep her, Fury be damned. Now deal?”

Nat nodded, placing a hand on Clint’s shoulder as a sign they would not win this argument. “Deal.”

Tony nestled back into the red blanket around him, turning his attention back to the movie, a smug smirk on his face. The rest of the team chuckled amongst themselves, turning back to the movie themselves. Though to Steve, Sam, and Bucky, the latter of which was nestled between the two other alphas, were all on edge; Whatever the cold snow-like scent that hung on Natasha and Clint had made them all perk up, they could only assume it was the scent of the friend the two had mentioned, had their attention and had them on edge for a reason they couldn’t quite place.

Once the movie concluded everyone stood, with some yawns, and shuffled off to their own apartments with some faint goodnights. Steve and Bucky lingered for a moment as Sam slowly stood, rolled his shoulders and popped his neck; he looked over his shoulder at the other two with a worried look, steve offered him a smile and stood while pulling Bucky with him, herding the two men towards the elevator so they could return to their own private apartment. When they had all finally curled up into the oversized bed of the central bedroom they all shared, none of them found fruitful sleep, tossing and turning or finding their dreams haunted by the scent lingering just out of reach.

Sam had given up on getting any sleep when he woke up for the third time in an hour, slinking into the small kitchen while the two giants tossed and turned, his shirt clung to his skin just enough for it to annoy him and with an aggravated growl he pried it off and tossed it to the couch. He was getting short tempered and he sighed in annoyance at the fact, he hadn’t been like this in a while, since he had first started having the PTSD nightmares that would keep him awake at odd hours of the night; he settled on a cup of coffee but the pale light of the stove showing 3 am reminded him it was going to be along day so he settled for setting it to an extra strength brew. Popping the small pod into the machine and pulling one of his cups down from the cabinet left him even more impatient and annoyed. When he finally settled onto the leather couch in the living room and was able to down half the cup in a matter of seconds he flicked on the Tv for some background noise to distract him, barely having the sound up high enough for him to just pick up on it he settled in for a long morning.

He must have fallen asleep cause he was pulled from his sleep by Friday calling out for everyone to gather in the conference room, by order of Pepper; Steve was in the kitchen with a mug in hand looking towards where the small speaker was set in the center of the island counter looking like he had just got back from a run, Bucky stood in the hallway with a towel over his shoulders, his hair damp, and his boxers slung low on his hips, clearly fresh out of the shower. All three of them groaned, Steve setting the cup back on the counter defeatedly, Bucky turned around back towards the bedrooms to get dressed, and he found where his shirt had landed half under the throw pillow and half over the arm of the couch and pulled it back over his head. He stood from the couch and stepped into the kitchen behind Steve, planting his forehead between the blonde’s shoulders.

“Rough night?” Steve asked him in that concerned tone of his that could make you melt by how much he clearly cared.

“Yeah.” He answered with a half hearted hum, taking in the relaxing apple pie scent of the blonde that always seemed to soothe him.

“Wanna talk about it?” Steve offered, he offered every time even when Sam wanted nothing to do with the particular dreams that often came with episodes like that.

“Maybe.” He mumbled.

“Just because you talk about something doesn't mean it will come back to get you.” Steve offered him that same in every time as well.

“Doesn't mean it will help either.” He sighed, and Steve turned around to pull him into his arms. The same dance they did everytime that these dreams plagued Sam.

“You don’t have to, if you really don’t want to.” Steve sighed himself, saddened to see one of his mates sp distraught.

Sam stayed quiet for a second. “That Omega Nat and Clint mentioned, did you notice how strong her scent was on them?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, it didn't seem like anyone else on the team did though.”

Sam nodded a yeah with a sigh. “That's the thing, why were we all affected by it so much? It was in my sleep too, but you two wanted nothing to do with me and were too busy chasing after that scent.”

Steve cupped his face and made the shorter male look up at him with a sad smile. “Hey, none of that now. You know I’m not going anywhere, especially just for some Omega tail when I’ve got you and Buck. You two know you’re my world.”

Buck walked back in that moment, Sam’s shoes in hand and dressed in his work out clothes, he frowned. “You guys talking about that Omega that’s coming tonight?”

Steve and Sam both nodded.

Bucky sighed, moving to sit on the couch and gestured for Sam to come put his tennis shoes on, nodding between Steve and Sam as he spoke. “Why is it affecting us so much? Scents haven’t followed me into my sleep since I first saw you after you took the serum and since I first met you.”

Steve leaned against the island as Sam joined Bucky on the couch to slide his shoes on, before the serum he hadn’t even presented yet and he reasoned he probably would have been a beta back then but the serum had kick started the gene into presenting as an Alpha, which he was thankful for since he had two true mates. “I don’t wanna be the one to suggest it but do you think there's a possibility since it has affected all three of us she's ours?”

Buck shook his head as he stood with his arms crossed, shutting down the idea immediately. “An Omega? No. Definitely not. It's probably just because her scent was lingering on a packmate, I mean we haven’t even seen her, how could you confirm something like that from a scent alone.”

In truth Bucky didn’t think that, even if it was true she was their true mate, that he deserved an Omega when it had taken a lot of work between the three of them already for Bucky to feel he deserved the other two. Sam tied his laces and stood, shifting back and forth before leaning into Bucky’s side to comfort the brunette.

“Hey it's okay Buck, just suggesting reasons, you're right we can’t assume anything like that without meeting her first. Sorry. Neither of you need to be worried, I’ll be by your sides all night as long as I have a say in it.” Steve soothed as Friday called out for their attendance again.

Bucky and Sam relented and Steve pressed a quick kiss to both of their foreheads as he ushered them out of the door of the apartment. In truth he had always been the dreamer of the group, he had always had an abundance of hope and an abundance of love to give; he was thrilled to have two mates to share with and when Bucky had mentioned possibly having a third even if it was indirectly mentioned he had to admit he had gotten kind of excited with the prospect especially if said prospect was an Omega of all things. Though he knew Sam was just afraid of losing him and Buck like he had lost his air force pack and that Bucky still had moments where he felt he didn’t deserve any of the things currently in his life and that meant especially his mates, he knew the two would be jumpy with the thought of another mate since it would be something else for Sam to lose and for Bucky to feel he didn't deserve but he almost hoped it was in fact the reason the scent had affected them so much since he reasoned it would give Buck a reason to feel he deserved it and would give Sam somewhere to direct the protective nature without it building up since he rarely got to be protective over Steve and Bucky; and for him he would finally get to satiate that part of his brain that got almost envious if not desirous when he would watch any of his Alpha packmates scent their Omegas in whatever various ways they did it, not that he couldn’t do that with Sam and Buck it just wasn’t the same since his scent didn't stay on them and it never fully satisfied that little voice in his hindbrain.

Steve was pulled from his thoughts as they made it to the conference room, most of the other Avengers were there save Wanda, Vision, and Thor, though they could hear the latter coming as he conversed with Jane on the phone the team had finally gotten him to use and that said female had taught him to use. The three practically fell into their chairs, half exhausted, Steve had probably gotten the most sleep that night since the only issue he was running into was the other two not sleeping well.

It took maybe another 15 minutes for the missing members to appear, Vision had to wrap Wanda in a blanket and carry her into the conference room since it was probably about 2 hours before the woman was normally up, it was seven am now and she normally did not show her face until about nine, and she definitely didn’t look pleased by the fact she was currently awake. As soon as everyone was in their places Pepper started passing around itineraries of how the rest of the day and the night would go. Interviews, a speech from Tony, there would be a makeup crew set up on the lower levels of the compound for those who didn't want to bother to get camera ready themselves, they would meet back up around 2:30 PM for last checks, and to go over limo assignments since Natasha and Clint were splitting off to get Lynx, they would be out the door at 2:30 and the rest of the team would be out the door at 3 to arrive at the conference hall at 3:30 and Natasha had pointed out the three of them wouldn’t arrive till 4, to which all Tony had to say was “Better make an entrance then.”

Pepper passed around bagels and tubs of cream cheese for the team to eat, since that's what Tony decided he wanted for his birthday breakfast and once everyone had eaten Pepper dismissed them all to finish their morning routines and to get ready before herding Tony back up to their apartment. Everyone slowly trickled back out of the conference room till just the three alphas remained.

“I need to shower.” Steve groaned

“So do I.” Sam sighed himself, still feeling the phantom of sweat on his skin from the night prior.

“Seems like I beat you two on that front then.” Bucky teased as he was the first of them to stand. “Guess I’ll try to squeeze a nap in then while you two are in the shower.”

Bucky held the door open for the other two as all three of them filed into the elevator, when they got back to their floor slash apartment he curled up on the couch with the blanket Steve had covered Sam in earlier while the other two crowded into the shower with the excuse they might as well save some water. It was around noon when Happy brought everyone up sandwiches for lunch from one of Tony’s favorite sub places, Steve and Sam had since piled up on either side of Bucky watching some movie Buck had no interest in since he had easily missed the first half of the plot. When they finally finished eating they had finished the movie and then decided they had better start getting dressed for the party now so they could make a good impression on the new Omega and everyone else that would be there of course, especially the interviewers that would be there and for no other reason obviously. They had split up, each retreating into their private rooms to get dressed without further distractions.

Steve had stood in front of his closet for 15 minutes trying to decide on which of the neatly pressed suits he wanted to wear before he finally decided on a navy one and pairing it with a pristine white button up. He sifted through his ties unable to decide on which one he figured would match the best giving each often a few minutes longer of consideration before shaking his head, the cycle repeated till he huffed and settled on a plain navy one as well figuring the tie bar that Bucky had given him with matching cufflinks would suffice; the bar and cufflinks had been made out of some of the vibranium of Bucky's old arm and the brunette had asked Stark to turn it into an anniversary gift for Steve one year. Though at the thought of the cufflinks he couldn’t find them or remember where he had last set them down at.

He stepped back into the shared bedroom and shuffled through the drawers and end tables there incase he had put them there but to no avail, he started to panic a bit and figured he would check his room one more time, though on his return trip Sam’s door was open and he stopped in the other Alpha’s door frame with an exasperated look on his face as Sam was buttoning up the sleeves of a white undershirt. “Have you seen where I put those cufflinks Buck gave me?”

Sam met his eyes in the mirror, “In your office I think, have you checked your desk yet?”

Steve took a few strides forward into his room, placing a quick kiss to the other Alpha’s cheek before stepping back out in a rush, “You're a lifesaver Sam.”

Sam offered him a lopsided grin and shot the blonde a wink. “I know it, what would you do without me oldman.”

Steve laughed and rushed down to his office, a room rarely used anymore, to find the cufflinks on a small glass nick nack tray Peter had given him and sighed in relief as he fastened them on, now all he had to worry about was what to do with his hair. Should he slick it back neatly? Let it be a little messy? Run his hands through it with some pomade to give it a kind of tousled yet neat and slick look somewhere between the other ideas he had?

Prior to Steve’s intrusion Sam had been pacing around his room, two suits held in front of him as he debated between them, holding them up in front of him back and forth on repeat until he finally settled on a sharp burgundy one and pairing it with a white button up. Saying screw it to a tie since he didn't want to even fuss with that or the constricted feeling of them in such a large crowd, he did however out on some nice silver cufflinks his sister had given him years ago though he did noticed he fiddled with getting the small metal pieces just right before Steve’s interruption drew his attention from the cuffs.

Bucky seemed at a lost, why he cared so much he had no clue, he had tried on a couple suits he thought would look fine but there was always something off about it that had Bucky peeling the thing right back off unable to decide if he wanted to keep a rugged look or seem a bit more polished tonight, he had been staring at himself in the mirror for who knows how long, he had struggled to decide on a belt of all things. He kept it simple with black slacks, he could pair any of his shirts and blazers with them and had finally settled on a plain black leather belt with gold hardware but on the subjects of shirts he was absolutely lost on what to wear. In an act of desperation he dug into the pack of his closet towards things he really never wore and ended up forgetting lived, thankfully him forgetting things that got put back there paid off when he found a black and gold corset style vest hung up; the thing was completely black with gold piping and boning, it reminded him of his arm and that was probably why he owned it but he didn’t remember when he got it or if someone had given it to him, he paired it with a simple black undershirt. He slipped into the small attached bathroom and pulled his hair half up, a thing both Steve and Sam had done at some point while playing with his hair.

None of the men had really realized just how long they had taken piecing themselves together to perfection until Friday was practically yelling at them to get their asses downstairs to the pack living room, the team had been waiting long enough for them that Nat and Clint had already left to go get their friend. They all awkwardly piled into the elevator making small compliments about how the others looked, figuring they were due for off-handed comments from the rest of the pack when they made it to the main room it was best to get the nice compliments between eachother out of the way.

Once the elevator dinged the three men shuffled out into the staring crowd awkwardly. The team was gathered in the common room with everyone looking sharp and collected in their party outfits, the room was abuzz with anticipation and excitement. Tony was leaned against the back of the couch in a red, gold, and white tux with a bowtie that mimicked his iron man suit; as the three alphas joined the small group of people he offered them a teasing raised brow and a smirk before he clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention.

“Alright everyone, listen up please.” Tony began, “First of all,thanks for making an effort to look good tonight. You all clean up well though I am a bit concerned with the Shield cufflinks there Steve, a bit on the branding nose there, don’t you think?”

Steve rolled his eyes but offered the shorter Omega a grin. “They were a gift from Buck, I like them.”

“A gift, sure.” Tony joked back, “but try not to overwhelm anyone with your patriotism yeah?”

Steve rolled his eyes and the room chuckled, the light banter easing any lingering nerves. Tony’s eyes swept over the team, landing on Sam and Bucky, who were both standing close to Steve but looking more anxious than normal. He knew neither male was a big crowd person so they were normally anxious with parties and gatherings but this was unusual even for them.

“Now here's the thing,” Tony continued, his tone shifting to something more playful yet stern. “We have a special guest tonight-Nat and Clint’s friend, you’ll notice they have left ahead of us to go and get her. I’m sure you’re all very excited to meet her as a possible new member to our team and pack. And by ‘you’re all’ I specifically mean you three.” He shot a pointed glance at Steve, Bucky, and Sam. “You three have been acting like nervous highschoolers before prom.”

Sam opened his mouth to protest but Tony held up a finger. “Uh-uh.” He tutted. “Don’t even try to deny it. You three took exceptionally long to get ready, Friday said all three of you were fussing over your suits and hair longer than I do. You’re all acting like you have something to prove, or something you’re showing off for.”

Bucky crossed his arms, a mix between a frown and a pout on his face. “You told us to make a good impression.”

Tony’s smirk widened. “Since when do you listen to me? But on another note: Exactly! I wanted to remind you all- especially you three- to keep it cool tonight. We are here to have a good time and relax, not to scare the poor girl away.”

He paused, letting his words sink in for a minute before continuing with a more serious tone. “Look, I’ve seen her file, and trust me, she’s got some serious skills. If she likes the pack and we like her, I’d actually like to keep her around. So, on that note, no weird behavior, no intense staredowns, and definitely no overprotective Alpha nonsense tonight. Capisce?”

Steve, Sam, and Bucky exchanged looks between each other, each of them a little more self-aware now as Tony called out their tendencies. Steve finally nodded, a small smile tugging at his face as he covered Sam’s mouth who he could feel asking Tony why it was directed at them more so than the rest of the pack. “We’ll behave Tony. Just for you.”

“Good, because I’d hate to see her run for the hills before dessert is even served and before I get to do my big speech tonight.” Tony chuckled, his tone back to its playful lilt. “Now, let’s get out there and show everyone why I throw the best parties and why the Avengers are the best pack. We have a 30 minute drive ahead of us. Separate into your limo buddies.”

With that, Tony gave them all an approving nod and led the way to the elevator with Pepper on his arm. The team followed, the atmosphere not as charged with nerves with Tony’s words lingering in the back of their minds.

Tony had booked a conference hall in the middle of New York, a 30 minute drive from the Avenger’s compound, that was packed to the brim with guests inside and paparazzi outside. Tony and Pepper were the last ones out of the limos right after Steve, Sam, and Bucky who all tried their best to give the cameras what they were looking for but rushed through so Buck wasn’t in the camera sights too long and the paparazzi could get to the star attraction already.

Inside the room was packed and Steve could have sworn he had seen Hank McCoy talking to Charles Xavier since both men were friends of Tony’s as respected scientists and inventors like he was. The three were tense as they scanned the crowds, almost like they were looking for someone else but Bucky beelined it towards the drink table; not that it would affect him but having something in his hand to fidget with even if he got separated from his mates alleviated some of social anxiety. Sam and Steve are hot on his tail, picking up their own drinks when all three of them get bombarded by some interviewer to comment on same designation relationships, Steve manages to corral the conversation mostly towards himself since Bucky hated being interviewed and Sam didn’t like being put on the spot about this kind of thing; but just as he started commenting on a rather invasive question the attention of the entire crowd was pulled towards the entrance.

Arriving 10 to 15 minutes after the group was Natasha, Clint, and their Omega friend; Nat and CLint flanking her like protective guard dogs as she strolls between them with a graceful confidence that has all three men mesmerized. Dressed in a simply stunning backless of the shoulder draped sleeves, black silk gown that glittered under the lowlights, making her seem practically ethereal to the three alphas.

Tony slides up beside Steve with a knowing smirk as he pours a bit of a drink for himself as he reminds them: “No weird Alpha behavior.” before slipping away back towards Pepper.

The three tensed, at the immediate overwhelming scent like that of fresh snow, vanilla, and sweet juniper berries; their instaints screamed at them and Steve's heart was in his throat, Bucky shifted closer to the other two males to fight off the urge to immediately glue himself to her side, and Sam was in some of the worst shape between the three of them if the heat flooding to his face and his complete freeze up was any indication, glances between all three of them were exchanged to make sure the others are just as affected as themselves and when Steve clears his throat all three of them equally heated in the face hide behind taking a drink.

The room that was frozen lights up with an energetic buzz, the interviewer from earlier scampering off to figure out what the story is about this new girl who was escorted by two avengers. Steve and Bucky are able to pick up on some guests conversations as they whisper between each other and interviewers trying to get the threes attention, with wonders of who she was, what her role was with the grand pack, if she was a new member, why they hadn’t seen her before, etc; it exhausted them to hear the barrage of questions and they could only wonder how she didn’t already seem exhausted by it.

Steve, Sam, and Bucky try to distract themselves from her lingering presence, all parting ways to talk with someone they knew, even if that meant Bucky was in the corner talking to Wanda and Vision just trying to stay hidden, Sam was off talking to Rhodey the two had bonded over war stories, and Steve was talking to another Alpha both males were familiar with, Sharon Carter, congratulating her on her recent bonding with Maria Hill.

Sam can hardly focus on the details of what Rhodey is saying, something about how he was bunkered down on one of his tours, and it bothers him when he realizes the entire reason he is distracted from the conversation is that scent.

Rhodey touches his shoulder softly as he fidgets with his glass, a blank stare as he nodded along to whatever the other man was saying. “You okay Sam? You seem a bit out of it, did I say something that brought back something?”

Sam shook his head and sighed. “No it's not you Rhodes, does anything scent wise smell off around here to you? Like one stronger than the others?”

Rhodey sniffed the air, his nostrils flaring before he shook his head. “No, not particularly, there's too many scents to really pinpoint one unless I was trying to find my mates, why?”

SAm shifted from one foot to the other. “Have you ever had one scent stand out to you so strongly that it haunts you even in your sleep?”

Rhodey gave him a confused look. “Only my wife’s. Why? Steve and Bucky’s scents are a bit too strong in your sleep or something?”

“No,” Sam shrugged exasperatedly. “Nat and Clint brought their friend tonight, the one who is supposed to be joining the team right?”

Rhodey nodded trying to understand the other man’s meaning. “Well they came in with her scent on them the other day and it's been in my face since then, I barely slept last night man.”

Rhodey raised a brow and smirked. “Think ses your mate? That’s a pretty common thing for true mates.”

Sam shook his head. “No I already have two, three would just be absurd.”

“Would it? For the exact same reasons you just said.” Rhodey shrugged, taking a sip of his own drink. “ You already have two, would it really be that crazy for a third?”

“You are not helping the case here man.” Sam huffed, taking another swig from the cup in his hands.

Though he let his eyes wander as Rhodey laughed, finding her nestled between Natasha and Clint talking with Bruce and eagerly shaking his hand. If it was bothering him like this and Rhodey had suggested the same thing Steve had, was it really that absurd the three men might have a third mate out there somewhere, that it might be her?

Wanda was anxiously yapping away, Vision was trying to calm her but Bucky found it endearing that she was just as uncomfortable in social situations as he was and was trying to calm both of their nerves.

“What do you think of her from here?” Wanda asked, slotting herself between Vision and Bucky.

The three watching her as Tony made himself the first to greet her, Bruce joining them quickly happy to see Natasha again and shaking the other two omega’s hands. Bucky’s hand flexed around the glass, involuntarily, though he's aware that noise of the glass straining is an indicator of his tension and he is quick to swap out which hand is holding onto the drink.

“She seems nice, though she seems to definitely have a presence.” Bucky mutters as he takes a drink.

“You think so?” Wanda asks with furrowed brows and a tilted head.

“If I may put in my two cents, I believe that is only because of the fact the crowds weren’t expecting her and we were.” Vision chimed in, happy to be included.

“No,” Bucky scowled, “that’s not it, cause the attention on her is dying down and she's already been rushed off to meet Pepper, and I guess see Clint’s wife and kids again with how Lila threw her arms around her neck. You could still find her in the crowd without trying, I guess I don’t get how she's good at spy work when she can hold the room's attention like that.” He grumbled watching the new omega squat down to hug Lila before moving over to see Nathaniel with a smile on her face as she cooed at babe in a small baby tux.

Wanda stepped in front of him, a smug smile on her face and her arms crossed. “I think its just you buddy, no one else in the crowd is staring her down as intently as you are. Maybe Steve and Sam but their looks are fleeting. You sir are enraptured, bewitched, enthralled. Vis what are other words quick!”

“Uh, captivated, enamored, hooked, attra-” Vision started before Bucky interrupted.

“Okay I get it.” He grumbled into another drink.

“Soooo?” Wanda looked up at him expectantly.

“So, what?” Bucky asked, confused.

“Why are you staring her down so intently, what about her has you so worked up?” Wanda asked excitedly.

“It’s nothing.” He muttered, trying to find Steve in the crowd.

“Well seeing as how you, Steve, and Sam have all been acting weird I know something’s going on, spill.” She sighed looking up at him expectantly.

Bucky shot her a look that said drop it but only made her smile and her eyes widen.

“Oh my god,” She started.

“No!” Bucky interjected.

“What?” Vision asked.

Wandas eyes darted between the new Omega and Bucky like she had pieced something together. “You think-”

“No! Nonononono. No.” Bucky interrupted, attempting to shut down the topic.

She turned to vision, stepping out of Bucky's reach. “He thinks she’s their mate.”

“Oh! Well that is very pleasant but you haven’t even met her yet, may I ask what it is that makes you believe so?” Vision looked down at his little excited Omega, who was practically vibrating in her place, an amused look on his face before looking back up to Bucky with an interested look on his face.

“I don’t, for that exact reason, but Steve does.” Bucky grumbled, knowing he was stuck in the conversation now.

“Well then let me rephrase that, why does Stece believe that to be the case?” Vision corrected himself.

“Her scent was lingering on Natasha and Barton last night, but it was strong enough none of you seemed affected but all of us barely got any sleep cause it followed us into our sleep.” He mumbled, finding Steve still talking to the two females.

“And you aren’t convinced why?” Both of the mated pair at his side asked him in tandem.

“We haven’t met her in person one, and two is even if she’s Sam and Steve’s mate that would mean she's mine and I don’t deserve an Omega. I’ve hurt enough of them in my time as the Winter Soldier.” He sighed, he was still getting used to opening up to the pack.

“Then, if she is, make up for it.” Wanda gave him a pointed look. “But you won’t know unless you go talk to her. Go on.”

“Maybe.” He mumbled not liking getting called out by Wanda.

“Alphas.” Wanda sighed.

Steve was off. His entire composure was dangling by a string, he was hardly holding it together and it bothered him; he was trying to focus on the two women he called friends in front of them. He nodded along with a smile, chirping back an appropriate remark when it was necessary with his usual charm and speed; but as time went on he found himself floundering, taking longer than usual to find a word or make a remark, his entire being was just thrown off. He smiled, though it was a closed off one, unlike his usual smiles, and he clenched his jaw at how bothered the vanilla in the air made him; he had purposely put his back to her while talking to the other two women to try and ease his distraction because he really did want to congratulate the two, but in reality he felt it almost made the entire situation worse because of how one part of his brain seemed completely distracted on where she was and if she was okay.

He didn’t need the two women in front of him catching onto what was going on, he knew, he just hoped his two mates were coming to the same conclusion. Oh, how he was thankful when he had to dismiss himself from Sharon and Maria at Tony’s beckon, giving the couple a final congratulations as he stepped away and turned to see Tony looking down at the Omega with a hand on her back as he led her towards the primary group of Avengers.

“Duty calls ladies, again ladies congratulations.” Steve waved himself off, hurrying to find his spot between Sam and Bucky who both seemed just as off as he was feeling.

Tony begins to introduce her before he stops, “What am I doing, I am being so rude, my apologies im sure you want to introduce yourself.”

She smiled, and chuckled, and her eyes glittered in the low light, and Steve felt like he could have melted right there, with how her voice sounded like heaven to him. Sam and Bucky tensed either side of him and he knew they were in the same boat as him, and he could have sworn the sudden wave of protectiveness he felt over all three of them was enough to knock him off his feet but he was still standing.

“Right obviously you know me, Nat, Clint, Pepper, and Bruce but the rest of these guys are the rest of the team and occasional allies depending on the situation. Rhodey a good friend of mine like a brother to me, Scott and his girlfriend Hope two of our bug people and yes we have more, Thor and his girlfriend Jane, T’Challa I think you two would get along with the whole cat motif thing, Wanda and her mate Vision, Carol she stops by occasionally, the kid is Peter our other bug person but ultimately the coolest bug we have,” Tony begins introducing everyone with banter to make everyone laugh as she shakes hands with everyone.

“And these three brooding men are Sam, Steve, and Bucky. Don't worry they aren’t as scary as they seem, despite the staring thing they have been doing all night, I’m sure you felt their eyes on you.” Tony teased and she chuckled, Steve straightened himself out and stepped forward to shake her hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, miss. Steve-” He started, and his heart just about jumped out of his chest.

“I know who you are Cap, you don’t have to go out of your way to give the whole spiel, the pleasures all mine.” She offered him a smile back and the electricity he felt between them was enough for his confirmation.

The slightest dilation of her eyes, told him she had felt it too, it wouldn’t have been enough for anyone else to pick up on but he could have gotten lost in her eyes almost immediately so he had picked up on it.

“Let me introduce my true mates then, although I'm sure you know them too since they are also Avengers.” Steve was floundering and he wanted to punch himself in the face so he would shut up.

She nodded and Bucky and Sam stepped up, each male offering him a small touch to his back or sides. Steve pulled his hand away from hers and gestured to each man as he introduced them.

“James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, my first mate.” Steve started, and Bucky shot him a worried look out of the corner of his eyes at being the first one to be introduced, in all honesty Steve needed to see Bucky react to the inevitable that was there.

“Pleasure to meet you doll.” He forced a small smile on his face as he shook her hand, and Steve’s eyes traced how Bucky’s grip tightened slightly and how his throat bobbed as he swallowed, taking that as the indicator Bucky had also felt the small jolt.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Natasha and Clint, they both said you were an amazing fighter, I look forward to maybe sparring with you one day.” She smiled at him and he felt like he stopped breathing all together.

“I’d like that doll.” Bucky nodded, passing her off to Sam so he could catch his breath from the constant static of energy between their hands.

“Sam Wilson, pleasure is all mine sweetheart.” Sam winked, shaking her hand, flirting being his go to in situations like this.

She chuckled softly at his flirty comment and shook her head. “Flirting in front of your mates is bad practice Mr.Wilson.”

“I can get them to flirt with you too if you’d like that.” He teased back, trying to not lose his cool as his whole body felt charged with energy, all exhaustion from earlier leaving his being.

“You are terrible Mr.Wilson.” She laughed.

“Sam is fine, hon, no formalities required.” He felt like he was losing it standing here, any longer and he would be practically vibrating in his spot.

Thankfully Steve pulled the conversation back to him and Sam could breathe again, shooting Bucky a concerned look who looked floored and stunned.

“Let’s grab some drinks Buck.” He offered, and Bucky nodded quickly.

“Yeah, I’m just about out, could use a top off.” Bucky agreed joining Sam’s side as they scampered off towards one of the refreshment tables.

“Nat and Clint speak highly of you, how did you three grow to be so close?” Steve asked me, his blue eyes made it seem like he was actually interested in what I had to say but in truth he had kept glancing my way all night making sure his back was to me, it felt like he didn't really like my presence being there.

“We were put on several missions together, Clint and I joined at the same time, and I’m sure you've heard of what happened in Budapest though all three of us say different things happened there.” I smiled and nodded just trying to get through the conversation.

I liked the rest of the team, I really did but the three mated alphas had been glaring or staring me down almost all night, like they were uneasy about me. Earlier Bucky seemed like he was uneasy to even touch me and Sam seemed like he was ready to get as far away from me as possible despite the fake flirting.

“I don’t want it to seem like I’m interviewing you or anything because that is not the case, just curious to get to know you, but uh, Natasha mentioned you were …enhanced, what kind of abilities did you …inherit, manifest… Is that a better word?” Steve stumbled; he wasn't good at the enhanced and mutant politics or how to address things when it came to that, even with Wanda.

“You can call me what I am Mr.Rodgers, Yes I am a mutant. It manifested when I was about eight or nine, uh, I have heightened reflexes, I always land on my feet, can withstand extreme colds, and I can walk almost completely silently which makes me good at stealth. My hero or code name or whatever you want to call it was a nickname from Fury I just kept.” I laughed awkwardly, I never liked putting my mutation front and center especially since I tend to blend in with other humans perfectly fine it wasn’t something I felt I needed to push or lead with.

“Apologies if I overstepped there, it's new to me.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck like he was honestly unsure of how he should have addressed it.

“You didn't, I'm just not someone who is normally very forward with the fact I have a mutation.” I smiled back trying to relieve him of some awkwardness.

“What do you do for hobbies? Any interests, a training regiment? How do you unwind?” Steve asked, changing the topic quickly.

She smiled and answered but Steve wanted to beat himself up for how uncomfortable he had probably made her asking about her mutation, it honestly intrigued him but he just didn’t know how he was supposed to address things like that. Though the two are quickly separated as Nat shoots him a look, sweeping her back into the festivities.

As the evening progressed Steve couldn't help but to keep tabs on where Nat had swept her off to next, always introducing her to someone else, he settled at a table with Sam and Bucky, not wanting to mention it too much when he noticed both males also keeping tabs on her. As much as they were trying to stay discrete Natasha’s warning gaze had them shrinking back into their chairs like scorned pups, though the second their eyes darted away Natasha had smugly smirked to herself. They thought they were being subtle, she chuckled to herself at their antics.

“Hmm? Everything okay Tasha?” The voice drew her out of her thoughts and looked down at her close friend who had been enthusiastically talking to Bruce about some science thing she wasn’t paying attention to.

“Yeah, everything’s okay, just thought of a funny joke.” Natasha waved it off, but shared a smug knowing look with Clint who was holding Nathaniel on his hip.

The red head took two slices of cake off the table and handed one to her, and one to Bruce, before grabbing her own and taking a bite from her own slice as she ushered them over to where Clint and his family were.

As the night drew to a close and the party was beginning to wind down, Tony called everyone over to the small stage to give his normal yearly speech. The avengers all turned their attention to him with smiles on their faces, he adjusted the mic to his height and set his champagne glass on the edge of a glass table beside him. The guests quieted as he cleared his throat, all eyes on the man of the hour.

“Alright, alright, you all know what time it is, the moment where I come up here and blabber about how great I am and all that, but if I could just have everyone’s attention for just a few minutes, I promise this time its not as self-centered.” Tony started, flashing his trademark grin. “First of all, I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. It’s not everyday a guy turns… lets just say another year wiser, alright?” The crowd chuckled and Tony’s grin widened. “But seriously, it means a lot to have all of you here-friends, allies, fans, and of course the best team a guy could ask for, even if we but heads a majority of the time.”

Tony’s gaze shifted to the team, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “You know, when I look back at everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve faced, it still amazes me that we’ve come through it all stronger than before. The battles we’ve fought in, saved the world more times than you could count on your fingers, and somehow we’ve managed to keep our sanity. Well, most of us anyways.” He winked towards the team, earning a few more laughs from the crowd.

“In all seriousness though, I couldn’t have done any of it by myself, without you guys. Steve, Sam, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Wanda, Vision, and everyone who has been a part of this crazy ride; you’re not just teammates, you’re family.” He nodded towards them with a smile on his face.

There was a brief pause as Tony looked down his glasses, his voice softening. “And then there’s Pepper.” His eyes found hers in the crowd, a sparkle in them and the complete adoration in her gaze left him feeling like the only man in the world. “Pep, you’ve been my rock, my voice of reason, and quite frankly the only reason I’m still standing here today. You’ve put up with more than anyone should ever have to, and you’ve done it with more grace and strength than I ever could. So I’m dedicating tonight to you and to all all the amazing things you’ve done, not just for me but for all of us.”

Pepper smiled, her eyes glistening with welling tears, and Tony raised his glass slightly in her direction. “Here’s to you Love, and to many more years of driving you absolutely insane.”

The room erupted in applause and cheers, Tony took a moment to let the noise die down before continuing. “Now, before we wrap things up, there’s one more thing I want to share. You all know we’ve been through a lot as a team and a pack, I’d like to think we’ve grown stronger because of it. Well tonight I’m excited to announce that we’re about to grow a little stronger.”

Tony’s tone shifted to one of pride as he continued, “ We’ve got a new member joining our ranks. Someone who’s proven herself time and time again; who has the skills, the guts, and the heart to be one of us. Natasha and Clint already know her well, and after tonight I think it’s safe to say the rest of us are starting to see why they trust her so much.”

He paused for effect, then smiled warmly. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the newest member of the Avengers, Lynx.”

The room filled with applause as Tony turned to beckon her on stage. “Come on up here, don’t be shy, you're part of the family now.”

Bucky, Steve, and Sam watched the way her hips swayed in that dress as she climbed the stairs into Tony’s awaiting outstretched hand.

“We’re thrilled to have you with us,” His voice carried a genuine note of welcome. “We can’t wait to work with you and see what you’ll do next. So here’s to the future, to the newest member of our absolutely terribly dysfunctional family, and a thank you to Fury for giving into my birthday wish. Welcome to the team.”

The applause grew louder and Tony raised his glass one final time. “To Pepper, the Avengers, and of course: Me!” He declared, and the room echoed the toast.

Tony moved to set his glass back onto the table without looking, the room seemed to freeze as the glass started falling off the small side table; Steve about to rush forward before the glass inevitably broke and cut her as it shattered with her open toed wedge heels, but before Steve could even move she had the glass in her hands and not a drop split as she sat the glass back onto the center of the table.

Tony’s eyes widened before he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, she simply smiled back at him as she turned to retreat back down the stairs. “Reflexes, they come in handy.”

The small action had Steve, Bucky, and Sam frozen on the spot, they knew Tony had read her file and said she would be useful but those reflexes had kicked in faster than either of the supersoldiers had. She climbed down the stairs to the waiting Natasha and Clint who patted her on her back, a small smile on her face as she tried to downplay the almost accident. She could feel the sets of eyes on her back and looked over her shoulder to be met with the three alphas staring her down, she shifted and busied herself with the conversation around her.

Steve wanted to punch himself in the face for the way she seemed to shrink in their gaze, making herself smaller between the Barton’s and Natasha; but at the same time knowing him and his mates affected her as much as she affected them almost made him pride himself, then a second later he was beating himself up for thinking like a stereotypical alpha that he tried not to be.

Bucky was impressed, Steve had been the only person he had ever seen move that quickly aside from himself, and he found himself wondering how those reflexes would correlate to other areas like sparring, or sparring. He wouldn’t let himself admit he was already thinking of having her in bed like he did with his other mates on the days regular sparring didn’t take that edge off and he needed a little bit more to keep his nerves balanced.

Sam was in the same boat as the other two but thinking less with his dick and more of how attractive she was in general and how impressive her brief show of skills had be, he could only imagine how she would move and fight on the actual battlefield; he reckoned that since she was a stealth master more so than Natasha or Clint were she adapted based on the circumstances, he would've put money on a bet that in their time at SHIELD the three probably had made their own bets on trying to beat her in stealth drills only to lose every time.

Steve, Bucky, and Sam retreated to a corner with their tails between their legs. The crowd began to filter out slowly, Steve had begun to talk but it was Bucky who had interrupted him. “We need to talk about this later, clearly we are all being affected by this and we need to straighten this all out.”

The other two nodded in agreement, watching as Tony talked with the alluring female across the conference hall, fighting to take their eyes off her. The rest of the avengers were all regrouping after a little bit of last minute partying that resulted in Natasha being a little too lovey dovey with Bruce and all of Clint’s kids being asleep.

They were so deep in thought they didn’t hear Pepper walk up behind them or even start talking to them. “...to leave? Hey? You three even listening? No, no you are not.” She sighed before clapping between them, startling all three Alphas to attention. “Quit being star-struck by an Omega you have barely met and maybe pay attention. I asked if you three were ready to go? We are getting ready to leave. Please, have your heads on straight, shes coming back to the tower for the night since her apartment is 45 minutes from here instead of 30 minutes from here.”

The boys all scrambled to agree and within the next 15 or so minutes they were squeezing into the back of a vehicle, the other members of their team squeezing into their own.

Steve popped his neck and stretched out in the vehicle as much as he could. “We really need to figure out why this is affecting us so much. When she touched my hand earlier it felt like static electricity.”

Sam nodded. “I felt that too but it was more like my entire body was wired with electricity despite how exhausted I was.”

Bucky growled under his breath, looking out the window at the passing lights. “It’s just ‘cause she’s new and mysterious and is being brought into the pack.”

SAm made a noise in disagreement. “You know that's not what this is Buck, I saw how affected you got especially when we went over to get drinks. You were staring out into space like you were lost in your head again. Whatever this is, it's different than just new, it's way more intense. Admit it Buck you felt something too.”

Bucky shot him a side long glare. “Okay fine, there was a tiny jolt, but not anything like you two were describing.”

Steve tried to diffuse the situation. “Whatever it is we have time to figure it out, it's not like we are in a rush. Whatever is leaving us all so tense and curious will take time to figure out until we get used to her being around and as a member of the pack we wont know if it is just cause she’s new or not. We keep an eye on her till she's used to everything and be there if she needs anything. I don’t want her thinking we don't like her or don’t want her on the team or in the pack.”

Bucky grumbled an agreement and Sam nodded, most of the cars were already here, Thor and Jane were the car ahead of them, and he was helping her out. By the number of cars pulling down into the parking garage there was only one car besides their’s missing from the fleet; probably Tony and Pepper since she had to finish arranging everything with the cleaning crew. The three trudged into the building, exhaustion finally settling into their bones and after shrugging off their party clothes all crashed into the large bed together.

On another floor Clint had escorted Lynx to her guest room on the main team communal floor of the tower. “I’ll be right back, let me go put Nathaniel down and grab Nat, Nat said she put some clothes in here for you earlier.”

“Kay, I’m gonna change then hurry back. I know you and Nat want all the gossip and know of what went on tonight.” SHe had smiled to Clint who nodded and rushed off.

I found the clothes Natasha had left for me folded neatly in the bathroom with a hairbrush and bathroom essentials, I changed into the pj set Nat loaned me: a silk set every member of the team probably had because it had little chibi versions of all the members on it and an old Shield training shirt. I brushed my teeth and my hair out, rinsing my mouth out with the sink water just as a knock sounded from the door.

I dried my mouth quickly before rushing over to open the door, a slightly tipsy Natasha leaning against the door frame and an amused Clint with his arms full of extra blankets off to the side of her.

“Hey! Get in here!” I stepped to the side and Natasha immediately threw herself onto the bed. Clint tossed the blankets onto the empty dresser before sitting down in an accent chair.

“Spill! I gotta know what happened when You weren't beside me or Clint.” Natasha mused, fixing a pillow under her chin. “What do you think of the team? How do you think the night went?”

I shrugged. “I dunno, I don’t think Steve, Sam, and Bucky like me that much. Steve seemed really unsure, and Sam while he was flirting it seemed he wanted out of the conversation as fast as possible, and all Bucky did was grumble and stare at me really. I mean I shook his hand and talked with him a little bit but he rushed off with Sam.”

Nat smiled like she knew something no one else did. “Ehhhh, don’t think a thing of it, they like you don’t worry. Bucky wouldn’t have talked with you at all if he didn’t like you in the slightest. And Sam may be a flirt but he never rushes off unless hes actually meaning his compliments, and as for Steve you somehow managed to get under his facade and made him slip up. They like you don’t worry.”

“If you say so, They just seemed to be keeping me in their sights like they were afraid I was gonna turn on someone all night.” I sighed, and Nat ruffled my hair.

“I mean it, they might be acting weird right now just because you are a new person, give it a few days hon, and it’ll be all normal.” Nat pointed out.

“How do you think it went with the rest of the team?” Clint questioned.

“I think it went okay, I liked Wanda, she seemed sweet.” I answered quickly.

“She’s excited to have another Omega around I bet. The Alphas outnumber the Omegas on this team. And seeing as the only other ones here regularly are Tony and Bruce, both of which are males, I think she's happy to have another female Omega around regularly.” Nat slurred slightly, but her point made sense.

“From what I could tell, it seemed like everyone on the team liked you, it seemed like you left everyone with good impressions.” Clint offered.

“You think so?” I asked.

“Yeah, I think so. The fact Bucky even talked to you is a sign of that.” Natasha had her eyes closed on the pillow, her words coming out slowly as she started to drift off.

“I better get her back up to Bruce before she passes out, Have a good night snowflake.” Clint stood. “Oh those blankets are for you, I grabbed them from the storeroom for you since I know Omegas are big on comfort. Feel free to keep them for when you move in.”

He helped Nat up from the bed and the two made their way back to the door. “Thank you Clint, have a good night, you too Tasha.” I smiled at them.

Natasha waved drowsily back. “Night Snow. Sleep well, see you in the morning.”

“Night,” Clint waved back as he closed the door behind him.

I stood and locked the door, picking up the blankets Clint had brought for me and began making a small temporary nest with them so I could get some decent sleep. My nerves were still going haywire at the thought of the three alphas having their eyes constantly on me, I honestly didn’t know how I had made it through the night with the constant heat under my skin at their gaze. I plugged in my phone and finally curled up in the nest of blankets, hopefully tomorrow wouldn’t feel as tense. I watched a few videos on my phone before I ended up falling asleep, thoughts of the three Alphas and their scents following me into my sleep.

Taglist: @crazyunsexycool

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cj-schlatt · 3 months

Note

PLEEEEEASE DO “is someone sleepy?” with schlatt 😭😭😭

- 🩷 nat teddynivvy

Eeeee my first request! Thank you so much, Nat!! This was fun to write, hope you like it! <3

(Prompt list here)

It’s Saturday night, your favorite night of the week. Saturdays mean rest, sure, but, more importantly, Saturdays mean movie night with Schlatt. It’s something to look forward to, something that never fails to put you in a good mood, no matter how rough the week has been.

You take turns choosing what to watch, and this week, it’s your pick. You’ve been on a bit of a musical kick lately, and it continues with this evening’s selection: Little Shop of Horrors. You even have the original (superior) ending queued up to watch afterwards.

“Another musical?” Schlatt had groaned when you told him your choice.

“It’s a classic!” you’d insisted.

“You say that about all of them!” he’d argued, and, well, he wasn’t wrong.

You smile at the memory. You knew that, as much as he complained, Schlatt actually liked the musicals you showed him, even creating a Spotify playlist with his favorite songs from each one.

“How was your day?” you ask once you’ve both joined the call.

“Long,” Schlatt groans. “Glad it’s over.”

You can hear the tiredness in his voice. “We can watch this another time, if you want.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” he insists, voice softening. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“Me, too.” You smile. “Okay, ready?”

“Ready,” he confirms.

“Three…two…one!” At the end of the countdown, you and Schlatt both hit “play,” and the movie begins.

It’s going well, you think. You’ve gotten Schlatt to admit that “Skid Row (Downtown)” is a banger (he didn’t really need any convincing). He seems to be enjoying it overall, though you notice that he’s a bit quieter than normal.

It’s during Steve Martin’s “Dentist” number that you hear a yawn.

“Aw, is someone sleepy?” you ask, your voice taking on the same sweet, high-pitched tone you use to talk to the cats.

“‘M not,” Schlatt grumbles.

“Sure,” you say, not at all convinced.

At Schlatt’s insistence, you keep watching.

A few minutes later, you make some stupid comment about what’s happening on screen, but you’re met with silence.

“Schlatt?” you call out.

No response.

You pause the movie, and it’s then that you can hear Schlatt’s soft snores coming through your headphones.

You can almost picture him, still sitting up in bed, his head lolled to the side (he's definitely going to bitch about his neck being sore tomorrow). You can’t help but smile fondly at your computer.

“Good night, my love,” you say softly before ending the call.

A/N: Sorry, had to make reader a Little Shop fan because I’ve been relistening to the original Off-Broadway cast recording from 1982 (my favorite version) recently hehehe

#schlatt #schlatt x reader #x reader #cj's writing #jschlatt #jschlatt x reader

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fluffyfantasticducky · 1 year

Text

Focus on the Good

☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader

☆ Synopsis: Loki is overwhelmed dealing with being accused as a traitor, although this time he's innocent. But this time, he is not the man he used to be, and he has you by his side.

☆ Word Count: 5,110

☆ Notes: The relatively awaited part two of Smile for me. Sorry I took so long to post this, I had a creative block and had trouble deciding what to focus on. The traitor plot twist is anticlimatic but I chose to focus more on Loki and his feelings.

☆ Warnings: Loki dealing with self hatred, insinuations and caresses that aren't spicy per se but are a bit more intimate and flirty but it's all sfw.

Frustrating. How else could he call it?

His first mission as a leader was a complete disaster. You had gotten hurt due to his own incompetence. And add some insult to this pathetic situation, now he was being investigated for treason to S.H.I.E.L.D. despite that he was completely innocent.

It must have been some sick twisted joke of fate. He spent years playing with Asgard like a fiddle, getting away with so much, to the point that where he committed treason everyone realized only when it was too late. And now that he had a reason to make things right, be transparent and honest, now he was investigated as if he was some traitor.

The most offensive thing of those implications was that it suggested that Loki was either using you or lying to you. When in reality he would die for you, he’d walk through fire if you asked him. Or that you were complicit of his ‘crimes.’ You, you who were the kindest, sweetest, most righteous person he had ever met.

Every day or two days at most they come to either interrogate you, him, or inspect your shared room which always left them a mess to clean up.

At least the people he cared about knew he was innocent. Thor was constantly arguing with Fury, going over and over about how this was nonsensical and even offering Loki to flee to New Asgard for a few days until things calmed down. Valkyrie had offered him an extra room if he needed. Bruce, while he wasn’t as passionate about defending Loki, agreed that it made very little sense that Loki would betray them now with all he had accomplished. Even the great Tony Stark agreed between sarcastic jokes that he would’ve believed if he hadn’t seen how down bad, he was for you.

You… what would he do without you? You not only got into mad arguments and made abundantly clear your distaste for this decision, but you were his biggest source of support and peace after all the draining routine he was being put through during the suspension from missions. You were a risk taker by disobeying direct orders from Fury by asking Thor, Bruce, Nat, Clint to trade with you during missions as to make a strike until they decided to reintegrate Loki to his normal duties. And for the first week of interrogations, whenever it was your turn… Norns, he felt a bit bad for the director. You were quite loud and fierce when you wanted to be.

But most importantly, all the support he got from you after all the interrogations and room inspections that hurt him more than he’d ever admit.

“I’m sorry…” he sighed, resting his head on your lap.

In between the inspections to your shared bedroom one of the agents had broken a little figurine you collected.

“It’s just a toy, I’ll get another one…” you assured him.

Loki could sense a lie. But he also remembered how excited you had been when you got it, saying it was rare and it had taken you a huge effort to get it.

“You darling prince…” you spoke softly, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. We know you’re innocent, soon all of S.H.I.E.L.D. will see it too. Everything else doesn’t matter.”

“What did I do so right to deserve such a pretty angel such as you?” he chuckled. “You are unfairly good to me.”

“You keep saying that baby.” You spoke gently, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear. “You sound like a broken record.”

“I might be one” he shrugged, closing his eyes.

“Yeah?” you giggled. “Then I’ll just have to fix you.”

“I thought you said the I can fix him was a toxic mentality in romance” he said cheekily.

“Oh, now you remember my movie rants” you laughed. “But the I can fix him trope is toxic when—”

“…It is used by the abuser who manipulates them into staying as a rehabilitation center. A partner should be part of your support group but never the responsible to fix you, but a motivation and helping hand while you fix yourself.” He opened his eyes to look up at you as he finished repeating your old rant word by word. “I always remember the things you say.”

“Is that so? When is our anniversary?”

“June 9” Loki smiled and noticed you opening your mouth to retort. “And our 1,000 days together is on March 5th year. And yes, I knew you were going to ask that.”

“Smart pants” you smiled.

“You love me like that.”

“I do” you smiled and kissed his lips softly. “Guess you don’t need fixing after all.”

“Glad we agree, I am the most perfect man” he grinned, relishing the way you cringed and smiled at the silly joke.

“I don’t know about that.” You smiled, “But you are perfect for me.”

You pecked his lips and made him smile.

“I don’t deserve you…” he smiled.

“Oh, that’s it!” you laughed and soon your hands where all over his sides.

And sooner than that Loki was laughing his head off.

“Hehe- hey!” he protested between laughs.

You had an annoying charm. Tickling him silly as a pseudo-punishment. It was your shared secret how much Loki enjoyed being tickled. You stopped soon enough, smiling at him, caressing your thumb across his cheek.

“It’ll pass before you notice…” you whisper. “They will see exactly what you truly are. Just like I do.”

Loki chuckled softly.

“I hope not, you are a handful already” he smirked at the offended look on your face due to his comment.

“Oh, you want to talk about a handful…” you growled as you flipped to straddle him. “Let’s see how much of a handful I can be…”

Loki gulped, unable to fight a smile.

“Ahah…” he huffed, “darling, d-don’t… d-dohohohon’t!”

But your hands were already attacking his sides, your fingers skillfully scribbling along his skin, prodding his ribs, drilling along each crevice in the most maddening way.

“Is that enough handful for you, huh?” you asked in a faux anger. “Eh? Is it?”

“Thihihihihihis is cruel!” Loki protested. “And thahahahat doesn’t mahahake sehehense!”

“Mmm, it might have just been excuse to get my hands on this hot bod of yours” you smiled.

Being tickled was already a vulnerable moment for Loki. To the point where only you could tickle him without any resistance. Anyone else would need to overpower him physically or just restrain him. You, on the other side, he would barely fight back. He’d simply squirm in his place, rolling over to the side or on his stomach. Which it gave you more of a sensation that he just wanted you to focus on other spots. Not that he'd ever admit… you had tried.

“Ehehehe! You ahahahaha— wait no!” he protested as your fingers reached his stomach, giving it little pinches and pokes. “Lohohohove, stop!”

“Alright, alright.” You smiled and kissed his forehead as you stopped the tickling. “Is your mood better?”

“Ihi— if I say yes will you stop torturing my stomach?” he smiled at you, holding onto your hips. “You know I can’t take it there.”

The way you leaned against his chest to kiss his lips never failed to drive him wild. And this wasn’t the exception.

“I am aware” you hummed against his lips. “That’s why it’s my favorite spot to tickle.”

“I am, unfortunately, also aware of that” he chuckled.

“If you really minded it, you’d actually do something to stop me instead of just laughing your heart out.”

“I love it when a beautiful mortal has their hands all over me, is that something to be ashamed about?” he grinned cheekily at you.

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “It wouldn’t be if you were still single. But you are stuck with me now and forgive me if I’m not good at sharing my boyfriend. Unless you’d share me with others.”

“That is out of the question. You are mine, and mine alone.” He said solemnly as he held you in his arms. You lifted your eyebrows, expectantly as he felt his cheeks warm up under your gaze. “As… I am yours; I suppose.”

“Was that so hard to say?” you smiled.

“Terribly so” Loki smiled. But then, his face adopted a serious, melancholic expression. “I’m sorry… I should not be dragging you into this disaster. You deserve better, and I fear you will realize that. It would be best for you, but… I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Lucky for you, that’s not something you have to worry about” you assured him, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I am perfectly happy with you.”

One thing that Loki loved about your relationship was that despite knowing you said stuff to made him feel better, it never came off as dishonest, as if those two concepts weren’t mutually exclusive. You said the kindest, most loving things, and he could tell you honestly felt every single one.

It made his heart soar. That honest and kind heart of yours was exactly what he had been craving for. You were what he had been looking for.

It made him want to open his heart to you. You were kind and listened to him without judging or thinking the worst of him.

“What am I going to do?” he sighed. “If I can’t go on missions, soon I will not be allowed to go outside, and then I will be going back to being a high-class prisoner.”

“Actually… you can’t leave the building given you’re under investigation” you said apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Lovely…” he groaned, throwing his head back, rubbing his face with his palms. “I am back to being a prisoner. Might as well get inside a cell.”

“Yes, we could tie you up, and torture you until you confess” you purred, trailing kisses along his jawline, as your hands made their way to play with his hair.

“You’re making it sound appealing” he hummed, relishing the feeling of your lips against his skin. “Mmm~ Keep touching me like that and I’ll do anything you ask.”

“Mm, what a good boy” you giggled, kissing his lips.

He laughed along with you, but mostly because your hands had found his ears and were tickling behind them.

“W-Whahahat are you doing? T-That tickles!” he laughed.

“I told you I would torture an answer out of you” you giggled, tickling the back of his ears. “Now confess, you war criminal!”

“Nohohoho, stohop it!” he squirmed underneath you. “How is thahahat spot so bahahad?”

“Right?” you chuckled, pressing loving kisses along his face. “I found out the other day while we were kissing.”

He grabbed your wrists. “Oh really?” he smirked, and trapped your wrists in one of his hands as he began tickling your ear shell and behind it. It took absolutely nothing to have you giggling like a kid.

“Ehehehe! L-Loki!” you giggled. “Hehehe! I-It tickles!”

“It does, does it not?” he chuckled.

He traced along the outline of your ear. He relished the way you laughed against him, you never tried to get away nor asked him to stop. You loved that closeness as much as Loki did.

“Mmm, that laugh of yours is so lovely~” he hummed as he stopped, tucking a few streaks of hair behind your ear. “It’s my favorite sound in the whole world, you make me so happy.”

“Cheesy” you chuckled, kissing his lips.

“I mean that, darling” he smiled. “Without you I would have gone mad by now. Or worse, I would be a prisoner.”

“You can’t believe that…” you spoke softly.

“What else am I supposed to believe?” he sighed, “what I did to New York is unforgivable. I should be locked up for life, I was going to be… It’s what I deserve. It took me too long to understand it.”

It broke your heart to hear him talk like that. It was a shame that he still punished himself so badly. You appreciated that he recognized his error, but the fact that it haunted him was painful to watch. He was already working on getting better.

“Loki… Your beef with Earth had its particular and complicated circumstances, it wasn’t 100% your fault.” You assured him. “But even if that was, there are other ways to atone for your mistakes… Punishing yourself but you were helping Earth, compensation is another way of redemption. Being an Avenger is a way to redeem yourself.”

“How do you do it?” he chuckled, “How do you manage to look at all the awful things I have done and still somehow see the best in me?”

“Because I’ve also seen how much you regret it, and I’ve seen you trying to prove to everyone, prove to yourself that you are doing better.” you spoke lovingly. “That means a lot, to me, to Thor, to everyone.”

“But why?” he asked. “What I did is…”

“Fucked up, yes. Tony and Bruce created a genocidal robot, Clint was an international criminal prisoner and retook as an assassin, Steve and Natasha were literal war criminals, your brother before you nearly started a war—”

“That I provoked him into.”

“Would you do it again?” you asked.

“For the sake of entertainment—” Loki pondered.

“Loki!” you giggled.

“I’m jesting, love!” he laughed. “Earth is no good in wars like Asgard, we fight to settle disagreements, make alliances, or get respect. But never to destroy.”

“We’re not so bad…” you smiled.

“Not all of you, no.” Loki agreed. “You for once are a wonderful mor— human. Smart, beautiful, funny, kind… It’s the people on the higher power that worry me.”

“It’s as they say, absolute power corrupts absolutely” you shrugged. “That’s what we fight for. For those without power, and against those who abuse it.”

“You say that as I remain locked in here, simply training and withering away” Loki sighed.

“Well… we can find something interesting to keep you occupied—”

“Reindeer games, out now!” Tony banged on the door.

“Not now Stark!” Loki called annoyed.

“You’ll want to see this.” Tony spoke through the other side of the door.

You stood up and Loki followed right after. Everyone was headed to the meeting room so that’s where you went to.

Bruce and Thor had one of the younger cadets, Philip. He was struggling against the two. His blonde hair was a mess and he looked like he had lost a fight.

“We found our traitor, brother.” Thor said firmly, even a bit prideful. “The little rat sabotaged our missions.”

“A double agent?” Steve asked.

“Self-sabotage” Bruce clarified. “He informed the base you were going. Who and when. And exactly how to take down a god. We found a report of the mission sent to an unknown address.”

“I found it.” Natasha stated.

“You?” Clint raised an eyebrow.

“We” she corrected herself.

“With my technology, that is.” Tony added. “In case anyone was wondering.”

“No one was wondering that, Tony” Steve smiled lightly, amused by the genius’ ego.

“But why? You were the only non-Avenger agent Loki chose personally” Thor asked. “My brother trusted you. And it was a wonderful opportunity for you.”

Fury looked… well, furious.

“Philip Crowe, you’re immediately and effectively removed from all S.H.I.E.L.D. work and installations, permanently for treason, espionage, and sabotage to an elite strike agent.” Fury said firmly.

“Elite?! He’s a monster!” the young man protested, struggling to break free from the arm lock. “It’s a time bomb! It’s in his nature! You’ve seen what he’s capable of! It’s a matter of time before we have New York part two! You’ve read myths, what guarantees that there won’t be a Ragnarök on Earth?! He—”

SMACK! He had been cut off by a slap in the face by you. If the stinging in his cheek was not enough to silence him, your cold glare silenced him.

“Take him away.” You said. “I want him rotting in a cell for a really long time…”

“Oh, he will be locked in the dark for a very long time” Fury agreed, “for espionage, and sabotage… And being an asshole as a whole.”

Thor was about to take him away. He was struggling to break free.

“Don’t.” Loki spoke up. “I’ll use a spell to delete his memories, about S.H.I.E.L.D. about the Avengers. Everything will be gone from his mind. He can live a normal life not remembering being an agent.”

Loki walked and looked down at him. Placed his hand on his forehead as the blond struggled. Loki let his Seidr flow and Philip’s body went limp.

“When he wakes up, he’ll be normal, he can have a normal life, he won’t be a risk for S.H.I.E.L.D.” he sighed and left the room.

Flowers bloomed under him as he sat by the lake. Just enjoying the familiar view. But not even that brought him any joy.

“Loki, there you are, honey.”

“Hello mother” Loki smiled. “I was just… thinking.”

“I thought you would be happy to get your naming” Frigga said. “You were excited this morning to receive your title.”

“God of Mischief, mother?” he asked. “Does that mean I’m supposed to cause trouble?”

“Is that so bad?”

“Will father get upset at me?” Loki asked. “Besides, you like annoying your brother.”

“Pranking Thor is different. Why could I be the God of rain, wind, or something, then Thor and I could be gods together.”

“You can’t revolve your personality around Thor. Your godly title is meant to reflect your personality, not your brother’s” Frigga smiled at him gently. “Your father gave you a title that would fit you.”

“Does father think I’m a bad son?” he asked.

“I think your father thinks you’re creative, smart, with good abilities to get away with what you want” Frigga assured him. “All qualities you do have. And you are quite cheeky.”

Loki chuckled weakly. Frigga smiled and picked up a purple flower and wiggled it against Loki’s face. Causing the young god to scrunch up his nose and swat the pretty flower away.

“You know, son. I think it’s time for you to start learning magic” Frigga said.

“But you said I had to wait until I was 500 years old” Loki asked.

“I think you’re ready” Frigga said, “You’re 250 years old already, and you just got your title. You are a big boy now.”

With a few elegant movements the violet on Frigga’s hands turned into a purple frog that jumped out of hands and into the pond. Loki giggled as his mother’s arms trapped him into a hug as she tickled his sides.

“Pretty memory” you looked at him as you sat next to him. “Your mom is pretty.”

“Most beautiful woman in all of Asgard” Loki agreed. “Do you know what Orvokki means?”

“Uhh, it’s a violet, right?” you said looking at the flowers around the lake.

“It can also be interpreted as little orphan. How ironic that it was my favorite flower as a child…” Loki grumbled.

He flicked his wrist and the illusion of his memory vanished. He was no longer in Asgard, he was sitting on the rooftop of the compound’s main building. He wasn’t with his mother. And his eyes were red from crying.

“That was really nice thing you did back there” you congratulated him as you rubbed circles across his back.

“Not bad for a monster, huh?” Loki huffed out, in a failed attempt to fake out a laugh. “Did you see the way he looked at me? The fear in his eyes…?”

“Don’t listen to him…” you said resting your head against his shoulder. “He never gave you a chance to prove how good you really are. That’s his problem, not yours.”

“I can’t blame him… I would not trust me either… I am a monster, I was a monster to my people, to my home…” he sighed.

“What? No, Loki…”

“My birth father abandoned me to die, I was raced by a kingdom that thought my kind were monsters…” Loki sighed, “and I caused so much pain and death to a Realm that could’ve seen me as something quite literally divine.”

You looked at him and squeezed his hand.

“I thought… I hoped I had a second chance, I wanted to believe people were already accepting me. I thought that if I could have at least one agent to trust me… How foolish of me…”

“Stop that…” you scolded him, giving his hand a gentle and loving squeeze. “You’re not a monster. No one sees you as a monster.”

Loki laughed bitterly. While you weren’t lying in the literal sense, you were being too kind, blinded by your affection for the young Asgardian to acknowledge the recent events.

“I mean it!” you said. “You’re so focused on one person thinking you’re a monster, that you fail to see what everyone else did because they believed in you. They all helped in their own way to prove you were innocent. Either tracking conversation, providing resources… Gosh, even director Fury trusted you were innocent.”

“I…” Loki recapped the events from earlier. You weren’t wrong.

“Besides, you know how picky I am when it comes to dating” you smiled, “I wouldn’t date just anyone. Is that not enough for you?��

Loki was silent for a moment, for once he didn’t even have a smart reply for that.

He had seen you turn down a couple of agents or staff members before the two of you started dating. Philip among the lines of the rejected. In fact, he remembered that during that time where the other Avengers noticed his feelings for you, some of them tried to discourage him from courting you, because “you didn’t date.” In fact, they had brought it up, on his face to prove it so. You were, in fact, very picky when it came to dating. Which just made him value your relationship even more. It gave him a huge confidence boost, and the security of not being replaced or overshadowed he so desperately had been needing.

And once again, you were that source of comfort and security. You were his sweet little balm.

“I… um…” he stuttered.

You chuckled and kissed his cheek.

“Tongue tied?” you teased him, making him groan in frustration as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “Just… don’t give him power over you, if he didn’t bother knowing you, he shouldn’t deserve such a space in your mind.”

“Thanks, love” he smiled softly. “For… looking after me. And… helping me see that others look after me.”

“Heh… I’m glad I helped” you spoke lovingly as you rubbed your nose against his neck.

He chuckled rested his cheek against the top of your head.

“Should we head inside?” you asked, rubbing your own arms, as you stood up “it’s a bit chilly out here.”

“You can go inside, love” Loki offered. “I need some time alone.”

You looked at him worried, but a gust of cold wind made you shiver, making the idea of going inside more and more appealing. But he saw the hesitation in your eyes, the way you didn’t want to leave him alone made him smile.

“I promise I’ll meet you inside later” he assured you. But you didn’t look too convinced “Make some tea for us, and I’ll meet you in our room before you’re done putting on your pajamas.”

You gave him a look he couldn’t quite decipher but you nodded and made your way inside.

He relished the fresh air. But as he mentally prepared to be burdened with his failure, he surprised himself smiling. His mind wasn’t clouded with the young spy that betrayed him.

All he could think was that all the original Avengers, those he had cursed himself for unintentionally helping assemble to defeat him… now had stood up for him. And it didn’t stop there.

His mind was filled with happy memories.

All the times he had gotten a pat in the back from Tony and being called his new favorite for teasing Steve’s righteous stiffness and the way Bucky and Sam snickered at it. As well as his training contests with the super soldiers to test their serum with Loki and Thor’s godly nature. How he beamed with pride at the blond’s praise after a mission. The way Natasha and her little sister acknowledge his ability to infiltrate and swoon targets and even required him specifically. How Clint and his little new protegee had gotten really happy when Loki gifted them his old Asgardian bows for them, despite the teasing when they saw right through his “I don’t even use them” excuse and treated for dinner after. Bruce acknowledging his observation capabilities during some of his experiments. Thor… who despite all the awful things they had gone through never abandoned him, and still saw Loki as his baby brother, and despite they refused to admit it, both still adored each other.

And you. You had stolen his heart from minute one. He had been hopeless before the first kiss or even a declaration. Your eyes brought him to his knees, and he had sworn to be at your mercy for the rest of his existence when he saw you smile. And with that power you had over him done nothing but nourish him. Your payback when he pestered you was always fun and harmless. You made him laugh. You listened to everything he said and always encouraged him to keep talking until he was hoarse. You gave him the attention he had been craving for so many years. You treated him as the most important being of the universe.

Honestly, he didn’t realize when his thoughts had set him in motion. But by the time he was aware of his actions, he was already turning the doorknob of your shared bedroom.

“Liar” you scoffed, throwing a teddy bear to his face as soon as he set foot inside the room. “You said you’d be here before I was done putting on my jammies, but it’s been 5 minutes since I got in bed, and you weren’t here.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. For a secret agent, you were terrible at hiding your feelings… at least from him.

“I apologize for not keeping my word, love” he apologized as he took off his shirt and searched through his drawer for the pajama he wanted to wear. “I lost track of time.”

“Did you drink?” you asked him.

“I did not. I trusted my favorite thing to make me tea” he responded with an innocent look as he put on his pajama shirt.

“It’s on your night table” you responded with the slightest pout, knowing you it was because he saw right through you.

He walked to the warm mug and took a sip. Of course, you had prepared his favorite tea… and with extra honey, just the way he liked. Everyone always complained there would never be enough for everyone if you kept spoiling Loki with his favorite all the time. You always got more, but it just meant starting the cycle again.

“Thank you, dear” he smiled as he kneeled on the bed to reach and cup your face to kiss your cheek.

Oh, how he wanted to tackle you and cover you in kisses at the way you fought and lost against the smile that appeared on your lovely face along with a light shade of pink.

“So adorable…” he chuckled.

As he was taking off his pants, he saw the way your blush turned even darked. He rushed to put on the pajama pants and dove in the bed, wrapping his arms around you in a loving embrace with his chest against your back.

“You’re in a lovely mood” you smiled as you reached to caress his cheek. “What gives?”

“I just thought about a lovely little mortal” he hummed pressing soft kisses on your nape, “that makes my darkest days bright and cozy.”

“Do you have a fever or something?” you touched his forehead.

“No, I mean it!” he laughed. “I stayed back to think… and all I could think about was your love, your kindness, and this hot body of yours…”

As he spoke that last bit, he reached to caress your sides, making you giggle.

“Loki…!” you giggle swatting his hand away. “You’re asking for trouble.”

“You know I am” he whispered, resting his face against your shoulder. Taking in your scent, closing his eyes as he relaxed. “Norns, what would I do without you?”

“Probably snuggle your pillow tonight” you smiled. “But you’d be fine.”

“I would not…” Loki choked up, as he felt tears forming in his eyes. “I would be lost; I would be absolutely nothing without you. A monster…”

“No, no, baby…” you spoke softly, turning around to face him. “You’ve worked really hard to be better… That’s all you, you are utterly and undoubtedly wonderful…”

The way you always made him feel better was almost scary. Your word was law. If you said he was so good, then… perhaps he wasn’t as bad as he thought.

“I love you…” he whispered. “Thank you…”

“What for?”

“For being my second chance… For believing I was more than the man that caused so much pain to your people…”

“Second chances are earned, Loki” you said. “You’ve earned it.”

He laughed softly when you rose up to sit on his waist, straddling him with your legs as you gave him a pseudo-menacing look.

“Now speak poorly of my sweet cuddly honeybun and you will be sorry…” you said in the worse threatening tone he had ever heard.

He cringed and laughed softly at the overly cheesy pet name.

“Oh gods…” he muttered with a shaky smile as his lips twitched upwards, amused by the situation. “You goofball.”

You let out an offended gasp and started tickling his sides, immediately making him giggle like a child.

“W-Wait! Dahahaharling! I’m sohohohohohrry!” he whined between laughs.

“Nope! Sorry ain’t gonna cut it this time, you insult me, you insult my prince… you deserve being chastised” you said playfully as you tickled his belly, which always made him hysterical.

“NAHAHAHA! STOP! STOP! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” he cackled, soon wheezing. He was so ridiculously ticklish that had had no chance fighting back or think about anything else but the tingles that made him howl with laughter.

But he wouldn’t change this kind of silly fun with his darling for the world. And if he was honest with himself, this was a great thing to focus on.

| MASTERPOST |

#marvel tickles #marvel fluff #loki laufeyson #ticklish!loki #ler!loki #lee!loki #ticklish!reader #ler!reader #lee!reader #loki x reader #loki tickle #loki fluff #ducky writes tickles

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georgiapeach30513 · 4 months

Text

Your Mark On Me, Part 15

Summary: things are no good.

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader

Rating: explicit. Dead dove do not eat

Warnings: explicit language, explicit dark content, kidnapping, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of stealing money, degradation (not for sexual play), spitting, hitting, pinching, slapping, restraining, mocking, blood, human auction, forced removal of IUD, realization of voyeurism, sexual recordings without knowledge, dark imagery 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.4K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

Rage. Blinding hot rage that boils every ounce of his blood. Hating himself doesn’t even cover it. Leaving you the way he did as a broken shell of the woman that he first met. You had shown resilience to his impossible needs. You had fallen so hard, and he still withheld how he truly felt for you.

The threat was enough to not just chill him all the way to the core of his being, but the video — whoever it was had caught him. Caught exactly what you meant to him on video. Words he had never spoken in years, and they had the evidence. Coupled with the threat of not only you, but Bucky’s Shy Violet. His unborn son. And Steve could not be responsible for that much pain.

Steve can barely see as he flees the hotel he left you in. A crumpled mess. A true depiction of the barren wasteland he left your heart. People don’t love as deeply as you did, and have someone rip it out with scars that may never heal. He’s an example of that. And he did it to the only person who he had ever truly been in love with.

He meant every word to you this morning, even the ones you would never hear. Why did this person, this entity hate him so much that he would threaten three people that had no part in this scheme? He had to tell Bucky. He also had to be able to visually see, and he can’t put anything into words except the red hot coils of desire to burn down the world.

Questioning if what he did was the right answer. He was told they knew his weakness, and you would be removed from his life. He beat them to it. He took away the person that they knew was his the one that would destroy him. But who? Who hated him that much to want to destroy him? Clearly it was competition but there was only one person, or people that were competitive with Steve.

“Sam?” The other man sighs. Hearing Steve's voice as wrecked as it was didn’t take much to realize what the idiot had done. “Who’s watching her?”

“You put Loki outside. Told him to watch her for a few weeks. Said that you figured she would move on. But you’re a fucking idiot.”

“They,” he yanks the steering wheel to the side of the road, throwing his car into park before pressing his palms into his eyes, and wills the tears to not spill over his lashes, “They were going to kill her and Bucky’s Shy, and…your family.”

“Figured as much. I told Nat to get the kids to the safe house. Just like you should have done with Dove. With her and Bucky there everyone would have been safe. You’re too fucking irrational. You don’t think. You should have discussed with me, and we could have came up with a plan. But you didn’t like that I heard what you said,” Steve pulls at wads of his hair, and he slams his fist on the steering wheel. “Love doesn’t make you weak.”

“I told you that you didn’t hear anything,” still in this world of denial and wanting to protect his ego. His pride? Protect anything but the person he truly cared about. You.

“You love her. You’re a coward that couldn’t even tell her to her fucking face. Is a million dollars really going to make up for what you did? You’re the problem here, Steve. She was the solution. Go back. Go get her, and I’ll take her to the safe house. I’ll leave Nat and Bucky with the kids, and Shy, and we will figure out what the fuck is going on,” Steve shakes his head. You hated him. He made sure to make you feel worthless to him, and hope that one day you could move on.

The thought of another man touching your flesh sears into his mind. Thinking this dumbass could ever hold you and love you the way he did. It was a toxic love, but he found serenity in your bright glow. The devil came to find his goddess of spring. The link that kept his underground hell blooming into the most beautiful chaotic garden.

Every morning he could see the sun shining on your face like you were the beacon, and it was trying to find you. But instead, Steve did. He tried to dim every bit of your light, and instead you changed him. And how did he repay you? He left you, his beautiful goddess, a void. Gave you every opportunity to turn into the darkness that he helped flourish. Instead, you were making him lighter.

You had a link to the depravity of his world that was Lark, and one wrong move and you would become a demon to addiction. A beautiful woman lively turned into a servant for drugs and the underbelly that he helped create. Try and be noble all he wants, he still sold a lie to users. He catered to the whims of one of the most powerful things in the world. Addiction.

“Sam,” he says as he starts to turn the car around. “I made a mistake.”

“Get your girl. I’m calling Bucky. We’ll keep her safe, and we finish this once and for all. It’s time,” without hesitation and very little thought Steve knows exactly where the threat came from. Peggy. The one who set this all off to begin with. No doubt a woman who thought she had broken Steve would be infuriated that he had managed to actually fall this time. The purest form of love. Childlike. He was in fact so in love with you it hurt him.

Pained every inch of his inky skin. He was only trying to let his Dove out of her cage, and let her fly alone. He was no longer the cage that kept you trapped. He was made pure again, and was a dove right along with you. He wasn’t meant to set you free, he was meant to fly out of his own cage with you.

He fucked up. He knows you may never forgive him for this whiplash, but if it meant that you were going to keep your life, that was the burden he would have to bear. He would carry the weight of that on his back for the rest of eternity as long as he knew you were alive and well. He had to. Because he was in love.

You don’t cry. You barely blink. Couldn’t even move to clean yourself off as per his request. That towel lays haphazardly on his spilt cum, and you stare up at the ceiling trying to make this a nightmare. He was a liar. That wasn’t Steve, and as much as you wanted to cut etches of his story off his skin, you wanted him to hold you even more.

It is a bizarre feeling to hate and need the same person. Time has no meaning on this bed. Earlier today you saw him for the man he used to be before Peggy tried to destroy him. And then he burned that man at the stake as he became the monster you first met. The lord of the underworld, and he brought you down into his depths, but maybe it was all one sided.

Watching as the room spins around you in a humiliating and dizzying haze. It’s why he couldn’t look at you. He has fought and fought his true feelings, and because he couldn’t accept them he had to remove the seed that was sprouting in his heart. The seed that was changing winter into spring and you saw lightness and color that once resided inside of his soul.

You hate him. And still, you’re in love with him, and you need him to hold you and tell you that wasn’t him. That he was sorry, and he was so in love with you and he was done fighting, and you doubt that moment will ever come. If you could close your eyes and never wake up that would be the most fitting. You didn’t want to see anything anymore.

“Dove?” Your eyes stare blankly up at the ceiling, and you swear there’s a pattern to the odd appearance of it. Dots that you feel are just the stars, and they’re covering you in a warm blanket. As warm as the fuzz that is thrown over your body.

“Sissy, how much money did he leave you?” Your blinks start to slow down, and you hope that they’ll eventually close forever so you don’t have this sickening feeling in your stomach. “I’m going to take this and invest in — things, yeah. You don’t need it. You’ve got your school you can bounce back on, okay?”

If there is one thing you wished it was that Steve could have quit fighting the inevitable. That he would have just admitted the feelings he had for you, and the two of you could run away. Money and power are just as dark of an addiction as the drugs he sold. And he was letting his addiction win.

“Won’t you let me get you dressed. You don’t want to leave here naked. And — he didn’t love you. That mess on your stomach is how he treats the girls he threw away at the club. Used their warm flesh to fill a need, and then…”

“You’re lying,” your eyes finally focus on your sister, and you turn and look away from her quickly. She no longer was the vibrant older sister you once knew. Either Steve had been lying about your addiction and usage, or she had found another supplier. “What happened to you?”

“You should look in the mirror,” you didn’t want to look at your face. You’d look like a bird with clipped wings that could no longer fly because that’s just what you feel like. “Get dressed.”

“What are you doing with the money?” You inquire. But she doesn’t respond just goes towards your bag, and opens up one. Tossing over a dress, and you finally take stock of what’s going on. Sitting up in the bed so see her clinging to the bag with cash in it. The stupor you were once in now is a dull pain of the past hour. “Lark?”

The door opens up to your room, and scramble to cover yourself. You know him. “Dovey, it’s time for you to go. He’s been waiting on you,” tears flood out your eyes as you shake your head. “You really want him to see you with Steve’s cum on your stomach. Your pussy fucked out, and tits hanging out? Now,” he clicks his tongue, snapping a finger at Lark, and your sister scurries out of the hotel room.

“It’s just you and me,” grabbing at your foot, he pulls you down to him and you kick and scream. Biting every time his hands touch you. Your reason to fight became apparent because whatever is wrong is worse than the empty gut you have now. “He threw you away!”

“Fuck you!”

“Keep fighting me, and it’s you that’s going to be fucked,” clearing his throat your room is flooded with men, and they all close in on you, struggling to hold on to your body before with one snap, you go into blackness. A darker world than you have ever ventured to. A world where things will never be the same. Left and broken, now stolen and restored. Fight is still there.

Steve sprints to your bedroom, racing through every part of it. Knowing without seeing physically that you’re gone. His hands pick up and throw everything in its path. Destroying the room just like he destroyed you. The luggage with clothes is still here, but the suitcase with money was gone.

Lifting up the mattress he flips it over, standing in the fucking room that was devoid of you. You were gone, and he can’t shake the feeling that you were taken. Stolen from this room, and from — he can’t even say himself anymore. Because he left you. You weren’t his to steal. He fucked up.

Chest heaving as his mind races on where you could be. He has an idea of who took you and it sickens him. He sees what Lark has become. Rumlow was the worst kind of drug dealer, because he dealt in more than just drugs, he dealt in women.

“Steve.”

“I fucked up,” he turns around. Eyes pleading at Bucky. “Why are you here?”

“Sam’s with the girls. I’m risking my life and the chance to see my future son because I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You fucked up, but I can’t let you wonder your what ifs or wonder where she is. I can’t let you lose the love of your life,” Steve shakes his head, the anger turning into the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life. As the last of his humanity is wrenched from his fingers. “Why can’t you say it? Does she mean that little to you?”

“She means more than any amount fucking words, Bucky. She means everything. Shy and Ember were threatened. Nat and the girls, and a lot don’t even know that Sam and Nat are together and have kids. Why do they want her?”

“They’re trying to make your kingdom crumble. The dark lord of the seedy underbelly. Ruled by fear and power. For a drug lord you had some morals, if that’s what you want to call it. And there’s…”

“Peggy,” Steve gulps, glancing around the room that is as messy as his head. Disheveled in every crevice. He has to clear his mind if he’s ever going to find you.

“I want you to make me a promise,” Steve nods. Taking a few deep breaths to center himself. It ends now. He won’t hold back. It’s time to burn the world down to save you. Rumlow’s entire organization will disintegrate. He doesn’t even care where the two of you end up. He needs to know you’re alive, and living the life you want. And he hopes you still can find a place to put him in it.

“If we find Dove, I need you to tell her exactly how you feel, you coward. Quit waiting until the girl falls asleep before you say it.”

“Deal.”

“Let’s go save a dove.”

You could look at Steve trying to destroy you as a good thing. There’s a numbness that courses through your veins, or maybe it’s just a sleepy fog since the moment he walked out that door. Staring at the sleeping form of the man that tattooed you while your arms are restrained above your head, you wonder how you slipped this far into this world of darkness. Your will to fight dormant and resting. Now you observe. Paying attention to everything while you remember every bit of this moment. Something eventually had to help.

You don’t hate Steve. In fact the reason he did what he did seems to be to avoid this bullshit right here. Protecting you from whatever this hell is, but he failed. He let the wrong one watch you. And your own sister somehow played a part. You’d cuss him for the fool that he is when he comes to rescue you. And then allow your exhaustion and anger to rain down him with a fury that is hibernating.

Your eyes start to droop a bit. The adrenaline and heart shattering moments hitting a climax so high that your body is spent. There is no time for fear, and no time for anger. It’s survival. Steve would find you, and you would kick him in his perfect balls for ever hurting you. Even though the idea of him throwing that door open to save you like a scarred Prince Charming was looking damn fine, you can’t ignore what he did.

“How long has it been?” A sickeningly sweet voice walks into the room, and her beady eyes look you up and down. “What is she wearing?”

“Whatever I could put on her. You said you didn’t want Rumlow to see her the way I found her. You’re still so concerned with him leaving you for someone else?” His head bounces to the side with the force of the smack she connects to his face. “Why else do you need her covered?”

“I don’t need to see what cunt Steve’s been shagging. Pretending that she was the only one while he was fucking Rumlow’s whores at the club,” you roll your eyes, but refuse to comment. Sam kept tabs on Steve, and even told you he’s never seen him so much as glance at another woman. Her tactics of wearing you down were futile. You couldn’t sink any lower. The bottom has already been reached and all in a few short hours.

“You’ve been fucking like rabbits, and he still hasn’t fucked a baby in you?” You spit on her, gaining a slap against your own cheek. Her red painted nail wipes of your saliva from her face before she embarrassingly rubs it on your face.

“That’s rich coming from a double crossing bitch. You can only smack me when I can’t fight back?”

“You’re a bitchy one, aren’t ya? So tell me, sweet princess, how have you remained without a bastard?”

“It’s called birth control, you idiot.”

“One I need to cut out of your arm? Or rip it out from between your legs? Or do you trust the pill?” What the fuck was this woman getting off on? You aren’t even sure what her fucking problem was, or why it concerned you so much. “Rumlow has suffered with his business, while Steve flourishes. He needs to be destroyed, but I much prefer slow torture,” her fingernails connect to your arm, and she uses far too much pressure to slide all over the delicate skin of your arms before her eyes zone in on your lower body.

”Remove it.”

“What the fuck? No!”

“Stick another fucking needle in her neck and remove it,” she is psychotic. More than Steve could have ever realized. “You know your pretty sister? Yeah, it was easy to break her spirit. It’s funny what money and drugs can get people to do. What would destroy Steve? To see you broken from another human. To see you as a ghost of who you were. A zombie that he can’t even recognize. You know how many people are willing to bid for Steve’s precious Dove? Use your body to work out their frustrations on their biggest competition. Your sister sold you out for money and drugs, but the good thing is she is no longer being pimped out. But you — Steve will never want you again. Remove it. She can be someone else’s problem.”

Her stilettos click out of your room, and Loki stands up to walk closer to you. You flail, screaming out obscenities and no towards him. Having very little room to get any leverage over him. They were all fucking mental. “No! Don’t touch me.”

”It’ll only sting for a minute. You keep getting stuck with this, you’re going to have a bigger problem,” his voice is cloying in your ear as he grabs your face. Coming closer to you with a needle before it drives into your body.

“No! No! Please, no!” Another wave of blackness. Falling into an oblivion of a dark void that has no end in sight. Whispering out, “No,” one more time, and crying because no one can hear you. Being stripped away from the only salvation you knew, and now becoming the exact opposite of what Steve desired the most in you. Untouched. She wanted to sell you, auction you off while Steve can either be searching for you, or pretending you never existed.

You just want to go home. Home to the cabin, and pretend that he was coming home to you. Hold onto happy moments while your humanity is ripped from you. You hate her.

Your head lulls back on your shoulders, and the dingy light of the room tries to filter through the darkness, and you try to grasp it. Hoping that light can save your soul from the monster Peggy was forcing you to become. You hate her.

He didn’t like it. He hated it. Hated that you were ever put in this position, and he had himself more to blame than anyone. The very thought of something going wrong just wasn’t an option. He didn’t need anything to go wrong. He needed you. He needs to know that you are okay, and you were free to live a life.

The thoughts of you choosing a life that didn’t include him was on his mind, but he couldn’t think of that. Everything had to be perfectly planned out. He knew that Peggy was a vindictive bitch, while Rumlow was a pathetic one. He assumes that they’re hoping for an appearance by him.

It wasn’t a secret what they were doing. Everyone knew they were putting you up for auction. The reception went from an absolutely no because they knew Steve’s vengeance would be grisly to the ones that were drooling and licking their jowls at a chance to fuck Steve over. But retaliation would happen. To all of them. There would be a retribution on every single person that participates in the selling of you.

Every last one of them will get the fiery death of his dreams, and if you wanted to facilitate he would let you watch as they all burn. He failed in the one thing he promised above all else and that was to protect you. He’d make it up. He would get you. Or he would watch it all burn.

—

There’s moments in your life where you freeze up. Your body goes into autopilot, and you’re just there. Going through the motions. While your body is numb to every poke, prod, and movement by someone else. Your mind is on high alert. Listening to every door open. Absorbing every conversation. Your eyes take stock of all that is around you. Memorize every face as you dream about their demise.

You knew there would come a time when you had to identify people because you still hadn’t given up hope that Steve would keep his promise. Rumlow was a boastful idiot and he was letting everyone know who he was going to have up on that stage. Steve would hear about it, and you didn’t doubt that he would have fun in taking care of everything.

That’s not to say that you didn’t want to add another scar on Steve’s body, and you wanted to scratch him, and maul his perfect face, but you need him to wrap those stupid beefy arms around you and carry you out of this disgusting place. You know if you allow your mind to go into the dark places that you would lose all hope, and you’d never stop crying. Or worse become the devil Peggy was trying to make you.

You didn’t even speak to them when they’d ask you questions. You’d just stare at them blankly as they pinched, slapped, and pushed you around. You wouldn’t allow yourself to let them break you. Not yet. When this is all over you could have those moments of clarity, but right now it’s just to survive. And that meant focusing on everything.

You even knew it took Loki exactly thirty-four steps to get to the chair that set outside of your cage. And another forty-two steps to get to the door. You knew that he was the biggest coward of all, and needed to hide behind a more powerful man. Scheming and lying through his teeth while he collects secrets and information as his own form of currency.

He was loathsome. Peggy was the worst bitch you had ever met in your life. A woman who didn’t want Steve, and also couldn’t bare to see him happy with another woman. The kind of woman whose ego got in the way of the bigger picture. While Rumlow was describable he had bigger reasons for doing this. Peggy’s reasons didn’t go past needing to make Steve feel emasculated.

Disgusting woman, all dolled up for a pretty picture. Steve wasn’t a hero, but he could admit it. She wants to act like there was a moral high ground that she was part of, and still involved with another drug lord. That man just didn’t ask questions. You’d come to learn that Steve did, and that’s why Peggy had to ruin him.

“Are you still sore?” It is a stupid question when your arms were always extended above your head, the fact that she made people remove something so personal from you. Sore didn’t even begin to describe it. “You still mad at me, princess? And if you fucking spit on me again…”

You roll your eyes up to meet her, a sinister smile tugging at your mouth. “Ghastly woman. It’s what you deserve. You can pay for Steve’s sins. They always do,” another one of her tactics is to make you think you were nothing but a fleshlight to Steve. But you knew better. “Do you know how many girls that he has made become a sex worker? Rumor has it he filmed porn right in the club.”

Blah blah blah. You did actually talk to Steve. You also listened. It’s something she didn’t do well. Cocky little bitches never wanted to be the quiet little girls that people think aren’t threatening. Like you. She sees a weak submissive bird. You weren’t weak, and you weren’t dumb. You had more knowledge than she could even fathom about the ongoings of Steve’s enterprise. And there’s one thing she forgets, those sex workers Steve employed had a choice. She had removed yours.

“Are you going to play your game of not talking again?” Smirking, you roll your eyes before concentrating on her shoes. You weren’t going to give her the respect to look her in her face. “You’re such a spoiled child. Did your daddy Steve not spank you enough?”

“Nope,” Steve was not your daddy. He was your Captain.

“You do speak,” god, she’s a pompous twat. If she was closer you would spit on her, just for telling you not to.

“I don’t make it habit of talking to trollops,” with a painted red nail, she slaps you across the face, and your mouth fills with the pungent taste of metal. You gather it in your mouth, waiting. She is already getting closer to you.

“You fucking bitch. I will enjoy seeing you sold, and I will revel in the ways that they use your body to fuck over Steve. And that man never cared for you. You were just warm wet flesh,” one step too close to you, and you let her feel the blood she brought with her slap. The red paints her neck such a brilliant color and you chuckle, “You were just a whore to him. Let him fuck you raw. Intimately. Wanna see?”

Spinning on her heels, she snaps a finger at Loki, “I want Steve fucking her stupid on a loop. Let her watch every moment that was ever a lie. Break her fucking spirit, so she knows Steve never loved her. He couldn’t. Because he loved me, and will always look for a replacement. But there's only one me,” if only she knew that the love that Steve felt for her was nothing compared to how he felt about you. You knew it. He told you.

The sound of his voice stings as the monitor is lit up with the two of you. Precious moments stolen, and there is no telling how many people had seen this. You keep your eyes on Steve, more than you ever did while he was pumping into you. Steve never said the words, but he also couldn’t act. The way he stares at you with so much passion and love, versus the anger he had when he broke up with you. Such a lying coward.

You sniffle, refusing to let any tears cloud your vision or run down your face. You were becoming immune to the physical pain, but seeing a private beautiful moment with Steve hurts so deeply. Even the way he paints your skin with his fingers after making love. Yeah, Steve fucked you and would fuck you hard, but what you just witnessed was sweet. Almost like the first time.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Loki staring at you, and you twist your head to gaze back quickly, causing him to flinch. “When you came to our home…”

“It was just a place for him to hide you and fuck you. Don’t make it seem so domestic.”

“Was this your plan all along? Fuck Steve over?” He shrugs his shoulders, moving to turn back around after making a face with Steve’s grunts on the television. “He’ll enjoy torturing you.”

“You think very highly of yourself. Where were you at when I found you? Broken, naked, and used on a bed. Let’s not forget the money your sister stole from you. What do you think she’s going to do with that much money? Face it, Dovey, everyone around you used you and then left you. Steve for your tight cunt, and your sister for money. You’re better off this way.”

“Don’t call me that,” you wouldn’t let him win. Lark’s involvement is the most painful. Your therapist long ago told you drugs changed people. But inside of that body was still your sister. Somewhere.

“Don’t cry, Dove,” he mocks you as a single tear falls from your face. There’s no sincerity in his voice. And you want him to suffer from your own hands. “I finally know what it sounds like,” and you can’t wait to hear him plead for his pathetic life. His time will come.

You gulp as someone pulls on your leash. Fitted with a dog collar, and lingerie. You stare out blankly at the crowd as words about who you are and what the bidding starts off as begins. Faceless people litter a small crowd, and raised paddles keep being held up.

You try and focus on all their faces, see who is bidding the highest, and it is a zoo. Going so fast it makes you dizzy, and you sway on your heels. The price goes too high for average schmucks, and it seems it is a war between two people.

Both the man and woman are masked, and gloved, and neither have Steve’s features. You feel yourself for the first time slipping into despair. Feeling he didn’t actually care at all, and this is the result. Being sold like cattle.

“Two million,” the man say with finality, and the woman shakes her hand, refusing to pay that much. He left you. You really were worthless to him. Played in his stupid games.

“Sold to Mr. Wolf. Come collect your new pet,” the masked man stands up without a word. Pulling the leash from your handler before scooping up in his arms. Vacant. There’s nothing left. Steve left you to rot.

“I’ve got her,” he says into your ear, and it’s a weird sensation, causing goose pimples to arise on your skin. You didn’t have any idea why he was talking to you. You just need to forget the life you once came from.

The harsh light of the outside stings your eyes, and you start to regress in your body. The fight is finally over, and you just are in disbelief. “We’re out of the building. Clint, lock it down. Steve, I’m taking her to the safe house.”

“Steve?” Your body starts to tremble as the tears you have held in for far too long pours out.

“Shh, Dovey. I’ve got you, sweetheart. We’re going someplace safe, but Steve and a few others are burning this down. “Do you know if Peggy was in there?”

“She was bidding,” your words are whispered and confused, using a hand to squeeze on his metal arm, “Bucky?”

“I’ve got you. I gotta get you away,” he places you into the car, buckling you up before he gets in the seat himself. “We’re outta here. Send them right back to hell. Dove, were there any other girls up for auction?” You shake your head no, starting to curl into a ball. Your arms are still so stiff and sore. “She was all. You’ve got free range, Steve.”

Steve’s mouth curls into a gruesome grin. Eyes blazing as he heads towards the building, “Peggy is mine. Fucking bitch.”

Masterlist

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etherealising · 1 year

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chapter four | to burden natalie berzatto

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣ |

pairing: platonic!natalie berzatto x f!reader | slight carmen berzatto x f!reader | slight the bear crew x f!reader | male!oc x f!reader |

summary: your lack of competent decision-making after mikey’s death puts natalie in a compromisng position.

wc: 8.1k

please remeber you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any warnings trigger you DO NOT READ!

The smooth music filtered out of the record player, a rich voice singing through the house painting the atmosphere with a calm vibe. The two occupants were gathered in the living room, sifting through the last of the boxes that contained small decorations and keepsakes. Discussing what would look best where and what should have been left behind in the move.

You looked over your shoulder to check on Nat, her sudden silence cause for concern. Circling over to her you realized what had stolen the words from her lips. You maneuvered to stand behind her, looking over her shoulder at the framed photo in her hands, the two of you silently reminiscing.

You placed your head on her shoulder as she let out a quiet sniffle, her emotions heightened due to her condition. “You looked so beautiful that night,” you let out a quiet laugh before moving to stand next to Nat, eyes still focused on the framed Polaroid in her grip.

It had been a year and it still wasn’t easy to look at any pictures of Mikey without feeling like your chest would cave in. You hadn’t seen this particular picture since his passing, the grief too much, all memories painting your west coast apartment shoved into a nondescript box.

You understood now why it was so important to label your boxes when moving. If the box in front of Nat had some type of label on it, you knew for sure it already would’ve been shoved into the dark recesses of your closet.

“You can just put that one back in the box,” you left Nat’s side to continue going through your box, pulling out the book designated to sit on your coffee table.

Natalie watched you from her side of the living room, a small scowl painting her face as she watched you so easily disregard a memory that had once been so special to you. She looked back down at the picture, your bright smile staring back at her as Mikey and Richie leaned in to kiss your cheeks. A fond memory of the three of you the night of your senior prom.

Looking back at you one last time Nat let out a sigh before walking over to the mantle and setting it on the corner, visible for everyone to see. She understood how much Mikey’s death affected you, but there was no way you could heal from the hurt if you never allowed yourself to live in the uncomfortability of grief. It was something you had to want for yourself.

Nat had half the mind to keep digging through the box, eyes catching on another memory. Not wanting to sour the first night in your new home, she replaced the cover, doing her best to act as though she wasn’t curious about the box of memories.

The doorbell rang as you were looking for a place for the picture of you and your mom at your college graduation. Carefully sitting it on your coffee table you made your way to the door making sure to grab your wallet on the way. You opened the door to see the pizza delivery person standing there, giving them the money and a tip before thanking them.

“Oh that smells delicious,” you laughed as Nat followed behind you to your decent-sized kitchen. The two of you grab plates and a slice of pizza before heading to your couch.

Setting your plate on the coffee table, you left to quickly grab two wine glasses and the sparkling cider Natalie and Pete bought you as a housewarming gift. Stopping to grab a bottle of water from the fridge for Nat just in case the cider upset her stomach before taking your seat on the plush couch.

“I’m happy you’re home Baby.” Your eyes met Nat’s before you moved to pour yourself a healthy amount of sparkling cider, ignoring Nat’s laugh at the full glass in your hands. You raise your glass in a mock toast, at least one of you was happy that you were back.

“I guess it's good to be back. Nice to be around people that care about me,” the grateful smile sent Nat’s way as a form of thank you.

Natalie deserved more than a pathetic smile and both of you knew it.

You had been relatively alright after Mikey’s death, which came as a surprise to everyone. Your impromptu stay in Chicago after the funeral was a way for you to keep an eye on Natalie and Donna, occasionally helping Richie at The Beef when you could.

But you had to return to your own life eventually, and when you did shit spiraled out of control for you.

People always drone on and on about the five stages of grief and how it affects everyone differently, and you never thought that statement to be more true than when you stepped foot in your apartment upon your return from Chicago. Grief is supposed to come and go, you were doing everything that everyone was telling you to do. Following all the steps, checking all the boxes. Forcing yourself to try and heal, to feel your emotions as much as you would allow yourself to.

But at the end of the day, it was just you, an apartment full of memories, a voicemail you were too scared to ever listen to, and the shadow of your grief following behind you.

You experienced all the denial, anger, bargaining, and depression and you waited and hoped for the acceptance to come. But all that ever came was the cycle of grief replaying in your life like a bad dream.

You had thrown yourself into your work, anything to forget about the pain Mikey’s ghost left behind. And when your psychiatrist recommended a prescription to aid with your anxiety, you accepted. Anything to escape the shadow of a man you once knew appearing in your apartment on late nights.

But then the prescription wasn’t enough, and the alcohol you once used to numb everything had lost its edge, your days just turned into functioning as best you could. And then there were times you couldn’t even remember the previous day, the last five minutes, falling asleep on the couch.

You had become dependent; dependent on the alcohol and the drugs, and the way they made things all better for a short time.

And then you had woken up in the hospital one day, with no memories of how you got there, no care for what happened to you.

The figure in the chair next to you helped you to escape the fog in your brain. The woman you had known your whole life looking down at you with a tear-stained face, her hand tightly clutched around yours, her presence all the more confusing.

The silence in the room was too loud for you as you just watched the blonde, the lack of emotion on your face breaking the woman down even more. When the doctor came in to explain what happened it shocked you. Not because of the severity of the situation, but because you couldn’t remember a thing.

The theory was that you had been mixing prescription drugs and alcohol for some time, a truth you already knew and were purposely partaking in.

You were at your apartment after work winding down from the long day, pregaming for a night out with your co-workers. The Ativan you had taken earlier at work already put you at ease. You were trying to get to your patio for some reason but had trouble with the sliding glass door.

Too inebriated to unlock it you had essentially thrown yourself against the glass until it finally gave way to the weight of your body and you ended up face down covered in glass and the pool of your blood.

Not fazed by your injuries you collected yourself, glass and all. Grabbing your keys from the counter leaving to whatever destination you had in mind. Somewhere between removing yourself from the mess of your ruined sliding door and stumbling out into the hallway, you swallowed two more pills.

According to the reports, a neighbor found the mess of your body in the hallway, making it a mere few inches from your door before your body succumbed to the deadly cocktail swirling inside you.

In October of 2022, 8 months after Michael’s death; you would overdose.

You were broken from the haze of memories as you felt a dip in the couch. Natalie came to sit right next to you head resting on your shoulder, you gently laid your head on top of hers. You owed Nat your life.

A quiet sniffle left you, losing the battle to keep your emotions under wraps. “You’ve done so much for me Sug, and I…I’m sorry if I haven’t shown you enough appreciation.” You felt Nat’s arms wrap around you, squeezing you into a side hug as the two of you sat in each other’s presence.

It was no secret that without Natalie and Pete, you might not have been experiencing this moment. You for sure wouldn’t have gotten your shit together if you were still all alone on the West Coast. Nat had gone out of her way to find the best treatment facility on the East Coast for you, it had been decided that you would make the move back to Chicago when you were released.

So while you were away facing the consequences of the darkest moments of your life. Nat was at home picking up the pieces of your life while also trying to keep hers intact, not that you realized or cared back then.

Nat and Pete sold the family home that was still in your mom's name, nobody needed to ask to know that it wasn’t healthy for you to live in or across the street from a museum of memories. The couple got you a good deal on a quaint home not too far from them, the leftover money put towards the rest of your savings.

Natalie Berzatto, a miracle worker in your eyes had somehow pulled strings to get you an interview with the Tribune. So yeah, you owed Nat a lot more than placating smiles and cheap pizza.

“Are you sure you’re ready for tomorrow?” You shifted positions at Nat’s question, the two of you now sitting criss-cross applesauce, facing each other on the couch. You gave a small nod, fingers playing with your fuzzy socks.

“I don’t have much of a choice,” you let out a small laugh. “I can’t expect you and Pete to babysit me forever.” You smiled up at Natalie, the prospect of writing again caused a sense of excitement to stir within you. It felt like the only thing you had left, the only thing you were still good at. Although you had almost completely fucked up your life, you still had your writing, and that was a start.

“Maybe we can meet up for lunch after?” You didn’t want to celebrate too soon, you hadn’t even got a job yet, but the idea of a lunch date with Nat sounded like the best form of indulgence you had allowed yourself in a while.

The night continued with the two of you talking, Sugar doing her best to catch you up on all that you missed sans any mention of a certain blue-eyed baby brother she had. As the night began winding down the two of you cleaned up the mess of your dinner, before you sent Nat on her way with promises to fill her in after your interview tomorrow.

Making sure your kitchen was cleaned to your liking, you made your way into your room to begin settling in for the night. A knit crew neck you had meant to return to its rightful owner once upon a time, becoming the basis of your pajamas after a relaxing shower.

Settling into bed you couldn’t help but lie awake, mind racing with all the different scenarios that could play out tomorrow. This was your first night alone in your new home and the reality of just how alone you were slowly began to sink in. You knew Nat would always be there for you if need be, but she had her own life to live, the beginnings of a family in her near future.

All you had at that moment were your racing thoughts and the regrets of a life you had almost ended too soon.

You sat in the lobby of the Tribune leg bouncing nervously as you waited for your meeting with the editor-in-chief, resume, and copies of your work sitting snugly in your tote bag. You knew Natalie had already sent over your information, but your nerves forced you to believe that being over-prepared would be necessary.

The sound of the receptionist calling your name caught your attention. She was standing a little ways away from you waiting for you to follow her, you gave a nervous smile before rising from your seat and following the rhythmic click-clack of her heels down the hall. As you watched her walk in front of you, you thought you may have been a little underdressed in your casual street clothes, but you forced yourself to push your thoughts aside. They’d be judging you for your backlog of work, not your choice of attire.

The receptionist lead you to a corner office, the frosted glass of the exterior providing a sense of privacy. Ushering you into the empty room she let you know that the editor you’d be meeting with would join you shortly. You sent her a small thanks before walking into the room, eyes catching on the minimalistic decorations scattered around the office.

Your feet lead you to the wall of windows situated behind the desk, the view reminding you of an office you had occupied so many months ago. You looked out over the Chicago skyline, it still felt so surreal to be back in this city.

The face staring back at you something you were still learning how to get used to. The scars that decorated the right side of your face were healing up nicely considering how deep some of the glass had gone.

You jumped at the sound of the door closing, someone entered so swiftly you hadn’t even heard them, or maybe you were just too wrapped up in memories of a past life. You hurriedly turned from the window not wanting to seem rude, the man who had entered the room caught your eye before gesturing for you to take a seat at one of the two chairs in front of his desk.

You felt a little less concerned about your fashion choice as your eyes followed his Levi-clad legs as he settled into the chair behind his desk. You could feel your nerves returning, not knowing what to expect from this interview. In the most humble sense you had forgotten what being interviewed felt like, not having to go through the process since getting your first big journalist job straight out of college.

“Nervous?” Your leg stopped bouncing as the man’s voice met your ears, a shy smile curving your lips.

“Here I thought I was being subtle,” you tried to joke hoping to relax yourself a bit. The responding chuckle helped somewhat, so far the man sitting in front of you didn’t seem like too much of a stickler.

“Never thought I’d see the day you were nervous in front of me Baby,” you tried to control the look of disgust you felt begging to paint your features. You were grateful for Nat’s help but you were sure this was a mistake.

“I’m sure HR has their hands full with you.” You mumbled, the roll of your eyes showcasing your irritation. “Thank you for the opportunity sir, but I don’t think this is a good fit for me.” You reached out to the chair next to you where you had sat your tote bag wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible.

“No wait,” the sound of the rolling chair moving rapidly caused you to stop, seconds away from rising from your chair. You turned your attention to the figure in front of you eyebrows pinched together.

“It's me, Hayden,” your brows furrowed even more, your mind searching your memory for that name. “I…uh, I took you to senior prom. We met in our creative writing class that same year.”

You felt your eyes widen as your mouth formed the shape of an ‘o’, eyes darting to the pristine nameplate facing you on the desk. The name ‘Hayden Ivanovski’ staring directly back at you.

“No fucking way.” The whisper traveled easily through the silent office, Hayden’s echoing chuckle caused you to let out a small one of your own. “I’m sorry, it's just nobody but close friends and family even call me that anymore. And, I really wasn’t expecting to see you.”

You watched as he nodded, you could see it now. The boy you once knew in the maturity of his face, hadn’t changed much but it was enough that you wouldn’t easily recognize him if he passed you on the street.

“Uh, the porn stache sure is a uh choice,” your hand raised to gesture to your upper lip, you couldn’t help the smile curving your lips.

Hayden laughed head dropping as he resumed his seated position. “Divorce makes you do crazy things,” your smile faltered, you hadn’t meant the quip as an invitation to discuss any personal grievances. “No need to look so sad, it was mutual.” He shrugged the topic off like he hadn’t given it a second thought in a long while.

You nodded your head distractedly, “Enough about my failed marriage, how have you been?” You gave him a small smile, mind going blank as you thought of the best route to take this conversation.

“I uh, almost died five months ago,” the laugh ripped from Hayden’s chest, the last thing you were expecting to hear. You watched as he found your eyes, his smile disappearing as he took in the harrowing look on your face.

“You-you’re not serious are you?” The question almost caused you to laugh.

“As serious as my overdose was,” you watched as Hayden shifted in his seat, the air easily became uncomfortable. “Sorry coping mechanism.” You laughed the topic off, you had assumed Nat told him when she booked you this interview.

“So um, when does the interview start,” your leg began bouncing up and down again, the nervousness returning. If you hadn’t already made a bad impression you were sure exposing your less-than-stellar life choices definitely lost you the job.

“Nat didn’t tell you?” You stopped your brows from pinching together, the constant frowning sometimes the tiny scar between your eyebrows. “I don’t need to interview you, you’re an amazing journalist. I hired you the second Nat told me you were moving back. That is if you want to work here.”

“You’re not just hiring me because we went to prom together, or as a favor to Natalie are you?” Nat had helped you to get your foot in the door, you had wanted to secure the job because of your merit.

You watched as Hayden quickly shook his head, “While it is nice to reconnect with you, we need some experience in our newsroom. I know before your uh… incident you were working as a travel journalist, and the pay here wouldn’t be the same. But you’d still have full control over the stories you write, although you might not write as often as you’re used to.” You nodded along listening to his explanation. The fact that this was happening failed to resonate with you.

“So, the position of Managing Editor is yours if you want it.” Hayden sent you a small smile awaiting your response, he did his best not to focus too long on your scars as he stared in your direction.

“As long as I can write and edit then I will happily work for you,” the large grin spreading across your lips stretched the small scar stitched into your upper lip.

The smile on Hayden’s lips matched yours as he walked around the desk to shake your hand. The two of you sat there going over the expectations that your new role required, Hayden explaining the environment he tried to uphold at the paper.

You finished the meeting off with a tour of the floor the Tribune occupied, the one you’d mostly be working on. The two of you caught up a little as he input you into the system and created your badge so you could easily come and go as you pleased. You learned that he married Marlene Buchanan, a girl you went to high school with. The ink of their divorce still drying after only being finalized two months ago.

He invited you out to lunch but you had to rain check explaining the plans you made with Natalie promising the two of you would work something out in the future. He walked out with you, the two of you parting ways once you left the lobby.

You stood on the sidewalk taking in the crisp Chicago air. Your life was finally starting to feel like your own again, and even though you had only secured a job, the inevitable weight of doom that followed you was beginning to feel a little lighter.

Natalie was pacing in the office quickly moving to close the door as the chaos sounding through the building caused a headache to form. She knew Cicero would be there in the next hour, and that the money problem was their biggest issue in getting the new restaurant up and running.

The urge to call you was immediate after speaking with Cicero. Nat knew how much you cared about this place, and regardless of what anyone else thought she wanted you to have a say in any decision they made now that you were permanently back in Chicago. And she’d be lying if she said the reserved funds that came with you weren’t also a reason to invite you to this meeting.

Shouts could be heard through the door as she finally made her mind up, you two had plans for lunch anyways so you could just meet her and the two of you would leave together. Any excuse Nat could think up to call you would help her.

Sighing she scrolled through her contacts before forcing herself to press on your name and just call you. She listened as the phone rang, part of her hoping you didn’t answer her call, the hope immediately dying as your voice sang through the speaker.

“Nat, hey! I was just about to call you,” She smiled at the light tone in your voice, a tone she hadn’t heard in quite some time. “We still on for lunch?” The question caused her to take a deep breath, it was now or never she either asked you or she didn’t.

“Yeah of course. Uhh but would you mind meeting me at The Beef?” She was hoping the question came across as nonchalant, she called out your name as the line went quiet, sure you had hung up on her.

“Nat, I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” the apprehension in your voice made her feel guilty for even asking you in the first place.

“Listen, Baby, I know how you feel but we’re making a big decision today and I feel like you deserve to have your input heard,” she waited for a minute before continuing. “If it triggers you we can leave immediately, no questions asked okay? I just…this might be good for you.” She bit her lip as she waited for your response, she would be okay with whatever you decided but at least she had put the opportunity out there.

“I think I can be there in 45 minutes,” the tired sigh that escaped your lips matched the way Nat was feeling.

“Thank you, Baby.” She listened as you said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone, Nat was sure if she didn’t already have morning sickness she would’ve thrown up from that phone call alone.

It was exactly as you remembered it. Not that you had expected the exterior to change in the year since you’d been there. Although not physically changed things felt different, it no longer felt nostalgic as you stood there looking at the newspaper-covered windows. You could feel the anxiety eating away at you, the sick part deep inside of you wishing you had something to numb your feelings.

You could hear the faint sound of an alarm blaring with how close you were standing, the sound helping you to focus on the things you could control. You hadn’t come all this way just to look at the old building’s facade, and part of you didn’t think you could take disappointing Natalie by walking away. Nat wouldn’t have been disappointed in you though, but since your accident, you were scared to ever see that look in her eyes again.

The deep breath of fresh air filling your lungs helped to cool you down a bit. The pairing of your puffer jacket and scarf felt a bit suffocating.

In through your nose out through your mouth, a few more deep breaths were all you allowed yourself before forcing your hand to grip the door handle and step foot into a building that might haunt you for a lifetime.

The constant screeching of the alarm was so loud it made you glad that it drowned out the sound of the bell ringing above the door. Your eyes traveled around the restaurant, it was the same but it wasn’t. Little things missing telling you that some type of work was being done.

“As I live and fucking breathe!” The loud voice you would recognize anywhere drawing your attention to the dining area, Richie’s large figure taking up the doorway.

You shared a small smile with him. Subtly adjusting your scarf to cover the most noticeable scar lining your face, you watched as the older man took steps to close the distance between the two of you. The tall man quickly pulled you into a tight hug.

You hadn’t realized how much you needed a hug from Richie until you were snuggly pressed against his chest, the warmth of his body helping to relax you. The unconscious thought crossed your mind that you might have never experienced one of these hugs again if you hadn’t made it to the hospital in time.

The love Richie was pouring into the hug caused your eyes to water, Mikey’s passing bonding the two of you, the loss of someone you both loved so much bringing the two of you impossibly closer. But not close enough for him to know the path you had taken after. And not close enough for you to want to burden him with being just another addict in his life.

He pressed a gentle kiss to your head before pulling away, the annoying alarm still blaring at full volume. You stepped back to give him space, “You been fucking around in the crawl space Richie?” The question paired with your signature grin as Richie let loose his boisterous laugh.

“Of course, you’d fucking know about the alarm.” Richie’s disgruntled mumbling met your ears.

“Hey, Richie, could you please turn that goddamn motherfuckin thing off?” The voice of Cicero filtered through your ears. “It’s making me insane!”

“My bad Uncle J, Baby just walked through the door and shit like a ghost. Fucking Mikey booby trapping crawl spaces and shit.” He poked his head back into the dining room to let the occupants know he somewhat had the situation under control.

“Mikey’s fuckin Kevin McCalliper-,” The responses correcting Richie caused you to let out a small giggle, the noise bringing a smile to Richie’s lips.

You continued standing with Richie as he spoke to somebody on the phone, the long one-word password he gave made you chuckle. Pretending you knew how to help Richie was an excuse to not join the conversation going on in the back for a while.

While the blaring alarm was causing your ears to ring, the loud noise was a buffer between your impending thought and the inevitability of being back in this restaurant. The sudden quiet was the only sign that you would have to face a now unavoidable situation.

“Here lemme take that,” Richie reached out expecting you to give him your scarf and jacket. You hesitated, your wardrobe feeling like a sense of armor for the time being.

“Uh, I’m actually pretty cold. Thanks, Rich.” Your hand shot out to pat his bicep, head jerking in the direction the voices were coming from. “Sugar in there?” You didn’t need Richie to reply to know the answer.

You followed Richie’s lead as he headed to the back, taking a deep breath to still your nerves, not all too sure what you were getting yourself into. You watched as Richie pulled up a chair next to Cicero for you, taking your tote bag out of your hands as he gestured for you to sit. You smiled politely, giving him a small nod as you moved further into the room.

Three out of four familiar faces stared back at you, the look on Nat’s face indicating how much it meant for her that you showed up.

“What is this an intervention?” You made the joke as a way to cut the tension that had filled the room, the silence felt even louder as Nat said your name in a reprimanding tone, the joke not being funny to her one bit. You shrugged before moving to sit in your designated chair, shooting a small smile to the dark-skinned woman who was eyeing you from across the table. Your eyes easily avoided the blue ones you knew too well.

You listened as Nat cleared her throat, all attention focused on her. “So uh, I invited Baby here because I think she deserves to be a part of this decision.” Four eyes flashed to you as you awkwardly adjusted in your seat. “And, um she has a decent savings account.”

A snort left your lips at Natalie’s rushed words, her ulterior motives for inviting you here reminding you a bit of her mischievous brown-eyed older brother.

“Sorry uh, big fan of your work. But uh, how do you play into all this.” Your eyes drifted to the unknown woman, a smile played at your lips, a feeling of shyness sweeping across you at the fact that she had any idea who you were.

“Family friend.”

“Old acquaintance.”

The three other people at the table looked between you and Carmy, eyes darting back and forth at both of your explanations. You couldn’t help the cackle you let out, missing the look of panic shooting through Natalie’s eyes. You couldn’t recall a time you would ever describe your relationship with Carmen Berzatto as an acquaintanceship.

“Baby is a close family friend,” Nat interjected before any other response could be given. “A friend we should be thankful for even considering investing in the restaurant.”

Your eyes finally found Carmy’s having a hard time taming the smile threatening to spread across your lips. The false confidence you were exuding helped you not overthink the situation you were in.

The conversation picked back up where it had left off after you entered. You sank into your seat shoving your hands into your jacket and tucking your chin into your scarf as you did your best to pay attention. You couldn’t help but let your eyes travel across the mostly empty dining room, memories of a life that no longer felt like your own clawing to overtake your senses.

Up and down, up and down. The tick you gained while in recovery helped you to remain in the present your leg working overtime as it bounced to keep you focused.

The voices talking around you are drowned out by your wandering thoughts. Thoughts that had you re-evaluating your relationship with Natalie.

It was no secret that you had become a selfish person after Mikey’s death, every decision you made was to benefit you, and if someone else somehow benefited from it then good for them.

That was the reason you stayed in Chicago so long after the funeral, telling yourself that the remaining Berzattos needed you, that you were staying to make sure they made it out of the deep end alive.

But that was a lie, you stayed because you were too afraid to face your own emotions, afraid to face your grief head-on. Even now you could say you stayed behind to ensure Donna and Sugar were okay, but deep down you knew that you stayed because you didn’t want to be alone.

You helped Richie at The Beef because he needed you, needed to know he wasn’t alone. In all actuality, it was you who needed them, you who had become dependent on people grieving just as much as you.

The same could be said about your substance abuse after returning to your reality. The idea of never being able to talk to Mikey, see Mikey, or hold Mikey was all just an excuse you used to justify your indulgences.

You constantly told yourself that it wouldn’t be fair to burden Sugar or Richie with your hurting, that they didn’t need to babysit you while trying to heal themselves. That when your memory became spotty and you missed more than one of Sugar’s calls, it was because she didn’t need to put up with you and your problems.

And then unintentionally or not, you became Natalie’s problem. Not even letting her brother’s grave grow cold before you forced her to face the idea of losing another person she spent her whole life loving.

You pleaded with the universe for Nat to wipe her hands of you. To let you waste your life away and rot like you were starting to. To turn her back on you, because how could you so easily fall into the same vice as Mikey knowing how much it affected him; knowing how much it affected the people who cared for him.

How dare you pretend as though no one would give a shit if they had to bury you mere months after putting Michael to rest. How fucking dare you be so selfish.

There were nights in bed where you’d lay awake questioning your intentions. Had you purposely thrown your life away because you knew Natalie would come to your rescue? Did you somehow manipulate Natalie’s good nature into digging you out of a hole you were so far gone in you couldn’t bring yourself back from?

You always got on Natalie about putting herself first, and how she needed to stop stretching herself so thin for everyone else. And then you went and almost fucking died, and you forced her to take on a role she had been playing her whole life.

You had willingly ruined your life and forced Natalie to face the consequences.

If there was one thing you learned in your recovery, it was that getting clean, staying clean, and becoming a healthier better version of yourself should never be done for someone else. You had to want it for yourself, but damn if seeing Natalie’s face didn’t push you to get your shit together you weren’t sure what did.

“500,” you weren’t sure where the confidence to speak up came from, not even entirely sure what the balance in your savings account even was. Your unfocused eyes now staring directly into Natalies. “That’s my offer.” You quickly glanced around at everyone else unsure as to what they were even talking about but needing to put your stake into the game.

“Like $500..or,” your attention turned to the other woman, her voice trailing off indicating that she indeed was asking a question.

A chuckle parted your lips as you shook your head. “No, I mean 500K.” You made sure to look at each person across from you individually, instilling how serious your offer was.

“Bullshit.” The sound of Carmy’s voice startled you, sure he had been speaking this whole time but it's not like you were paying that much attention.

You scoffed, eyes rolling in tandem with the sound. “I thought you needed money Carmen,” the name slipped through clenched teeth. You turned to face Nat. Your final numbers would be decided between the two of you, “Nat?”

“100.”

“450.”

“120.”

“375.”

“200,” you hesitated for a minute. The triumphant smile on Natalie’s lips caused your eyes to narrow.

“250, or I walk.” You leaned forward hands moving to lay flat atop the table, a small smirk played on your lips. Your leverage was total shit and Nat knew that there was no way you’d walk away from this project.

“Deal.” The smile on your lips faltered as you faced Carmy again, his annoying crystal blue eyes staring daggers into you.

Clearing your throat you slumped back in your seat, hands moving back to hide inside your pockets. The meeting finished on a good note without a hitch, with the restaurant gaining an extra 250K to put toward inevitable expenses.

You quickly stood from your seat moving to escape any awkward reunion that may have sprouted between you and Carmy. The interest in meeting Carmy’s partner was pushed to the back burner as you made your way through the restaurant, looking for the one other person you wanted to speak with at the moment.

Maneuvering through the kitchen you found Tina not too far from what you remembered to be her usual station. You leaned against the wall watching her work, the effort she was putting into saving burnt and rusted pots bringing a small smile to your face. You shrugged off your jacket and slipped the scarf from around your neck.

“Need some help?” The hesitation in your voice was evident. You weren’t sure where you stood with Tina, you knew how she felt about Mikey and how much his choices affected her. The thought of relaying the past few months to her was too much for you to think about at this moment, you had time, and when you were ready you would confide in her. But for now, there was no point in ruining a much-needed reunion.

You watched as Tina jolted, not prepared to hear your voice. “Ay, dios mío!” Tina turned to you hand raised above her heart, eyes wide. “Why the fuck are you sneaking around the kitchen.” You listened to the older woman’s voice scold you before making your way in her direction.

Not giving her another second before throwing your arms around her, you probably should’ve made sure it was okay, but there was nothing like a mother’s endearing hug to let you know that everything would eventually be okay.

The two of you stood in each other’s embrace in the middle of the kitchen. Neither of you said a word as your quiet sobs began to echo off the walls. You were crying for Mikey, and for yourself, and for all the lives the both of you had ruined, whether they knew it or not.

You were apprehensive to step foot back in this establishment so soon. But it had easily shown you all the things your life would have missed out on had you not allowed Natalie to get you the help you needed.

Carmy’s head perked up as he noticed you exit the kitchen with Tina. His irritation began to rise as he laid eyes on you, Sugar had blindsided him with your arrival. He hadn’t even known you moved back to Chicago, let alone that you had any interest in getting The Bear up and running.

You looked different. His eyes immediately caught the obvious scar tracing along your jaw. The tip of it started a few centimeters below your chin before meeting your jawline and finding its end just before your ear. It was a gnarly scar and he knew for sure the amount of stitches you needed must have been painful.

Carmy was also sure you didn’t have that scar a year ago, nor the smaller one that was carved into your upper lip. He would’ve taken notice, you can’t spend 48 hours with someone and not be able to recall all the puzzle pieces that were specially made to create them.

He watched the two of you approach the group at the counter, you hanging a little farther back than probably necessary, pretending to occupy yourself with the bare walls. Carmy might’ve smiled at your awkwardness if he wasn’t so confused by your presence.

A distracted farewell to Tina left his lips as he tried not to be so obvious in his study of you. His eyes refused to meet Sugar’s as he could feel her watching him, watching you.

Sydney’s return gained his full attention, forcing himself to focus on something else other than his thoughts that were racing and full of you. The clearing of your throat as you finally made your way to stand next to Sug had all six sets of eyes focusing on you.

You didn’t just look different. From the very few interactions the two of you shared and Carmy’s constant people-watching, you seemed like an altogether new person, the confidence and surety he was used to seeing in you was dull.

“I don’t mean to impose, but I was kind of hoping I could take on a more involved role in all of this?” Carmy’s eyes squinted as your hand raised in a flourish to signify you were talking about the restaurant.

You were met with silence. Carmy was too distracted by being in your presence after a drought without you, and Sydney still hadn’t even been truly introduced to you.

“Shit, sorry.” Your hand shot out to shake the woman’s hand as the two of you introduced yourselves. Although she read your articles, mostly your profile stories highlighting various chefs, it was different to be formally introduced to the person behind the stories.

“I uh, actually read most of your articles.” Carmy watched as you brightened up a bit your writing something that would always bring you joy. “I had to cancel my subscription though.” The sound of your laugh went straight to Carmy’s heart, he hadn’t realized how much he missed the delicate sound until hearing it again in this moment.

“I actually have a proposal for you three,” you paused, making sure everyone was paying attention before continuing your explanation. “What if I highlighted the renovation? I was..uh…before,” you had to stop yourself and take a deep breath to ground yourself.

“I was profiling The Beef and Mikey before he…yeah. Um, so I was thinking I could maybe continue that with The Bear,” you stopped to make sure everyone was following along, sending Carmy a small smile before continuing. “We could profile the team, give people a behind-the-scenes look into the renovation, and who’s behind it. I would publish it, it would be great PR and might help to fill seats.”

The following silence made you feel insecure about your proposal. “Maybe just give it a thought. No pressure or anything uh just let me know if there's any interest.” Your voice trailed off as your confidence continued to plummet, Carmy’s blank eyes doing nothing to quell your nervousness.

You turned your attention back to Sugar, a silent plea to leave in your eyes. She nodded “Uh, Baby and I had plans so we’ll be heading out.” You sent the two chefs in front of you a forced smile before hurriedly returning to the kitchen to pick up your jacket and scarf you left there. Call it cowardly but slipping out through the kitchen’s back door seemed to be in your best interest.

The fresh air whipped against your face like a blade, and the immediate change in temperature helped to relax you. There would never have been a perfect time to make your return to this restaurant, and maybe it wasn’t how you things to go, but you felt an immense pressure off your shoulders.

The hard part was over, you made it through the door, walked past the remnants of Mikey every time a specific spot reminded you of him.

It wouldn’t always be like today, you knew that. Some days would be harder than others as you worked through your struggles and allowed yourself to feel the loss of Mikey. One step at a time, it was cliche but it was really how you had to live your life from now on.

Being around Carmy would continue to be hard for the time being. You had essentially watched his brother deteriorate, watched as his mind no longer became his own. And you too had almost become a victim to the whims of your drug-addled mind.

You wouldn’t force a relationship with him and would make him privy to your shortcomings when you were ready. But you told yourself you would be okay if he wanted nothing to do with you, the choices you made would not be easy to come to terms with. And if Carmen Berzatto decided he was finally done with your constant disappointment in his life, you’d just have to accept it.

The sound of Natalie’s footsteps pulled you from the labyrinth of your mind, a small smile sent her way as the two of you made your journey far from this lot of memories.

Carmen stared at the outlines they had hung along the walls, eyes following along with tasks that needed to be completed to open in six months.

He didn’t want to admit it but he was a little bummed out that Sugar returned to the restaurant without you. Any small glimpse, or interaction he could get with you he would swallow like a man starving. The chef stood there doing his best as his counterpart gushed over meeting you, doing his best not to cringe at his two worlds colliding.

Carmy wasn’t sure if he could keep it professional while you worked alongside him on the renovation. Sure you would be doing your own thing in tandem with the work that would get done. But surrounding himself with you in an already stressful time in his life and an even more stressful environment wasn’t something he was prepared for.

He let his mind wander, thoughts of what happened to you in the year since your visit drowning him. Carmy had no clue what happened after you left that night, no clue what had seemed to connect you and Sugar more than you already were.

Seeing you again made his chest hurt. Seeing you was like a hot poker being shoved through his heart, unbearably comfortable but all so warming at the same time. He wanted to know you, know what had changed you since the last time his fingers had traced your skin.

Carmy knew the two of you were nowhere near as close as you had once been. Unsure if you’d ever share a connection like your past one. But he knew while you were here, in Chicago, surrounding yourself with him, the two of you would be given equal opportunity to put this years-long game of cat and mouse to an end; it was just a matter of who bit first.

a/n: well…here we are. i know this might read like baby’s life is just gonna be sunshine and rainbows from here on out but i can promise its not. she is a deeply flawed character with a lot of shit to figure out and a half baked relationship with everyone’s favorite chef won’t fix that. i’ve been around addicts my whole life so i have an understanding of what they can be like, i want to iterate that in no way am i romanticizing addiction. my personal experiences with functioning/addicts DO NOT make me an expert on this topic in anyway, but i do use those experiences to write for baby. i’m always here if anyone needs to talk. i hope you all enjoy <3

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#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fic #carmen berzatto angst #the bear x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊#[aiekoy] chapter 4 #carmy the bear

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