#jaws is absolutely not a fan

[inkblot-inc]

If Jaws has to be up by a certain time when they aren’t on a mission it’s been discovered that Wanda or Nat need to be sent to wake them. Because they’ll break any sort of alarm clock, including their phone, to make it shut up. And when Tony asked Friday to wake Jaws that just ended with Jaws trashing Tony’s lab. Wanda had put them in a ‘time out’ for that. Which just means that she floated them in the air with her powers while she continued on with her business till she thinks they have atoned for their guppy crimes.

I can see this happening a lot earlier on, but Jaws does fall back into that from time to time

Wanda just watching Jaws' intimidating figure flailing in the air and making no progress trying to get down 😂

"You can't keep doing this to me Wanda! Sharks are meant to float in WATER you know!"

Wanda looks up from her book and slightly tilts her head to the side, "I can do this for as long as I want, gup. You brought this onto yourself-"

"I know, I know, and I'm SORRY!"

Wanda raised a brow in doubt, "You're sorry about trashing Tony's lab?"

Jaws eyes glinted with hope, "Yes, yes I am!"

Wanda set her book down for a second. "Mm... Ten more minutes. It's not good to lie, guppy."

Jaws eyes widened as they watched her get up and walk out of the room without warning. "Wha-?! COME ON I HAVE TO PEE!"

Nat just recording the whole thing on the side for later-

[galaghiel]

what remnant does to a mf

[kelocitta]

Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed

[kit-kat-jo]

WHAT THE FUCCCKKK WHY DID IT END LIKE THAT??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[jimmyspades]

Watching the Boston Legal season 5 special features and there is an entire deleted storyline about Denny having a daughter. Liveblogging my thoughts <3

Alan buying matching slippers for his sleepovers with Denny. Flamingo moment

Alan in a rare brown (?) suit

A woman threatening/promising to tie Alan up, asking him to spank her

Alan on a date and being properly flirty for the first time all season finally??

Alan saying he loves waking up next to Denny. Flamingo moment

Alan loves Werner Herzog he's my soulmate fr

Alan fan of age gaps

ALAN IN HIS PERVERT TRENCH COAT AGAIN!!! <333

ALAN’S CAR

ALAN OPEN-MOUTHED KISS WITH TONGUE!!!!!!!

I just realized her name is Liz LMAOOO lizzington nation where are you STAND UP!!!!

Alan tries to prove how respectful he is to women and gets called a hound dog and a pervert. True

Alan calling Denny a deadbeat dad wow that was one of the meanest things he's ever said definitely NOT a flamingo moment

Denny playing Legend of Zelda on the Wii in his office

Denny: "I love you like a son, I don't want to lose you, I don't think I could bear to lose what we've got, honestly I don't think I could survive it." Alan: "Denny, you will never, ever lose me, ever." Flamingo moment

Balcony scene: Denny suggests he and Alan adopt a baby together. Flamingo moment

D'Elia said they cut this storyline bc the emotion wasn't quite there, they needed more scenes to make it happen and didn't have the time. I think if this was a plot in season 4 or earlier in season 5 (or if season 5 got a full 20+ episode order instead of just 13) it could've worked but it's for the best it was cut. It would be too big and too rushed for something the week before the series finale

Since it never aired and the actress who plays Denny's daughter ends up playing the opposing attorney at the Supreme Court the next episode, I don't think this is canon. But Alan and Denny having matching slippers is real to me

If I had a nickel for every time James Spader was a main character on a multi-season network television show that included a storyline about a complicated confusingly erotic relationship between a wealthy powerful potential father figure and a daughter named Liz I would have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird it's happened twice

[thethingything]

so I've noticed that our jaw keeps getting really tense and painful and I think it's happening more when we're sat in front of a fan, and the breeze hitting our face has also started triggering our trigeminal neuralgia, but we can't not use the fan, and I've tried having it not angled directly towards us but we just start overheating anyway if I do that so I guess our options now are heat related illness or severe facial pain and I'm not willing to risk getting heat stroke again

[craperonipizza]

I'M LITERALLY SHITTING MY PANTS???????????? FROM 1-4 LOSING TO 4-7 WINNING?? ??

[bunnis-monsters]

How would fairy boy react if reader shrunk and had to rely on him to get around because she has no wings? Is he strong enough to carry her?

Fern would be absolutely ecstatic to have you tiny like him! He’s had so many wet dreams where you shrink down and he gets to fuck you like he wants every day…

When you shrink down, he just stares for a minute, slack-jawed before he flies over to check on you. You’re a mess, crying and naked, unfortunately your clothes didn’t shrink with you.

Despite the fact his cock is hard under his tunic, he puts aside his lust and flies over to your window sill, gather rose petals from your garden and making you some clothing.

Once dressed, he comforts you, nuzzling you softly and holding you in his lap like he’s wanted to for so long.

When you’re his size, he’s actually a bit taller than you, and god does he love the fact you have to look up at him when speaking.

He’s just so happy he gets to really hold and grab your soft flesh, play with your nipples and have the entire perky bud in his mouth while he fucks into you.

When his fingers are stretching you out he nearly comes just from the fact they’re big enough now to actually satisfy you.

He’s so happy, burying his face into your neck as he pounds into your pretty, fat pussy. It’ll make his day to see your belly swell with the next generation of little fairies~

And yes he carries you around as much as possible! He’s very strong, think of how ants can lift more than they weigh. He easily flies around with you in his arms, wanting to carry you everywhere!

Basically he’s very happy and hopes it’s permanent… he wouldn’t mind having you his size for all eternity!

Although sometimes he misses getting to sleep in your cleavage and flit around his big, human love…

———————

NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @midromiell @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Uncle Wade

Description: Logan finds out that Y/N is pregnant by Wade’s loud mouth and they try to be the best dad/uncle duo.

Request: HII :) can you do a fic where Logan gets y/n pregnant and wade becomes an uncle and the two of them help out y/n and try to be the best dad and uncle duo ever! :))

The second Y/N finds out she is pregnant she makes the big mistake of telling Wade.

She wanted to make it a surprise for Logan, since it’s a special moment but Wade doesn’t think like that.

Even though Y/N strictly told him not to tell Logan  

Wade was way too excited to keep it a secret and told Logan over dinner.

They were having dinner and Y/N turned down a glass of wine. 

This was surprising to both men but Wade blurted out: “Oh shit that’s right! You’re pregnant.” 

Y/N glared at him and Logan’s jaw dropped. 

“Nice going, asshole.” 

Wade immediately covered his mouth, not meaning to do that. 

Logan looked over at Y/N, “Is it true?” 

Y/N nodded and smiled, “Yes but I wanted to tell you in a more special way.” 

“But you told him?” Wade asked, pointing to Wade.

Wade got super offended, “Why shouldn’t she?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Yeah well I learned my lesson for next time.” 

“Next Time?” 

 Wade promised that once the baby was born he would be the best uncle ever. 

The Baby shower? Oh he planned it all. 

He bought onesies for the baby and made a mini Deadpool costume. 

Y/N loved it but Logan wasn’t the biggest fan. 

“Yeah absolutely not.” He took the onesie. 

Y/N looked at him confused. The baby was wearing that especially since Wade took a lot of time to make it. 

“We need a Wolverine one.” 

Great idea!!! Wade handed him a box that contained it. 

It was so cute!!! The baby had their daddy’s suit and uncle’s suit. 

Anytime Logan says fuck, shit or any word like that and Y/N is around Wade puts his hand on her baby bump: “Don’t say that, the baby can hear.” ” 

Y/N laughs at this but Logan growls. 

The Wolverine really comes out in Logan with the baby. 

His overprotectiveness is times 100

His hand is always on her baby bump and if anyone comes too close to her, he actually growls at them.

Wade is an exception but there are sometimes he growls at him too. 

When the baby is born Wade and Logan are right there.

Wade almost passes out seeing the baby come out of her. 

The doctors have to take care of him too.

Y/N squeezes both of their hands so hard but they put up with it.

All three of them cry upon seeing the baby. 

It was a boy and Wade was already making jokes. 

“He looks just like you Logan! A mini Wolvy.” 

Logan was too happy to let Wade get to him. 

They let Y/N sleep! She needs it. 

They both take turns waking up to feed, burp or change the baby’s diaper. 

Wade surprised Logan with how well he was at getting the baby to sleep. 

“I’m not giving the baby Blind AL’s cocaine!” 

Y/N is so thankful for them. 

Picture time with the suits!!! 

Y/N gets a picture of them with the baby. 

With Wade the baby is wearing the deadpool onesie that he made and with Logan the baby is wearing the wolverine one. 

They are a cute little family and Y/N couldn’t ask for anything more!

[pucksandpower]

Favoritest People

Charles Leclerc x Reader x platonic!Max Verstappen

Summary: drunk you tends to get quite a bit emotional and clingy … even with your boyfriend’s rival-turned-friend

The bass thumps through your body as you sway on the dance floor, cocktail in hand. Monaco’s most exclusive club is packed tonight with beautiful people laughing, drinking, and dancing. The flashing lights cast colorful shadows across gleaming skin and expensive clothes.

You grin dopily at Charles, reaching out to straighten his shirt collar. “You look so handsome tonight, babe.”

He chuckles, taking your hand and spinning you into his arms. “And you look gorgeous, as always.” His voice is low in your ear, sending pleasant shivers down your spine.

Giggling, you loop your arms around his neck as you sway together to the rhythm. “I’m having such a good time. This is so much fun!”

“Good, I’m glad.” Charles presses a kiss to your forehead, his thumb stroking along your jaw. “But maybe take it easy on the drinks, yeah? Don’t want you getting too sloppy.”

You roll your eyes dramatically. “I’m finnnne. Don’t be such a worrywart!” Sticking out your tongue, you spin away from him and do a clumsy shimmy, nearly sloshing your drink all over the both of you.

Charles just shakes his head fondly, steadying you with a hand on your waist. You catch Max’s eye from across the dance floor and wave enthusiastically. He lifts his glass to you with a lopsided grin.

Abandoning Charles for the moment, you weave through the crowd toward Max, stumbling a bit in your high heels. By the time you reach him, you’re slightly out of breath but beaming. “Maxieeee!”

He raises an eyebrow at your drunken exuberance. “Having a good night, I see.”

“The best!” You throw your arms around him for a tight hug, getting some of your drink on his expensive shirt in the process. “I just love you so much, you know that?”

Max laughs, patting your back. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too.”

Pulling back, you grab his face between your palms so he has to look you in the eyes. “No, like, I really really love you. You’re the sweetest guy ever and those stupid fans who boo you are so messed up. If I ever hear anyone booing you again, I’m gonna fight them! With my bare hands! I’ll claw their eyes out!”

Your earnest defense of him only makes Max laugh harder, lines crinkling around his eyes. “Wow, my very own bodyguard. I feel so safe now.” He shoots an amused look over your shoulder at where Charles is hovering uncertainly.

“I’m serious!” You insist, giving his cheeks a shake. Tears are starting to prick at your eyes, a side effect of how emotionally open you become when intoxicated. “You’re just … you’re the best, Maxie. The absolute best. Those people don’t deserve you. You deserve the world.”

Max’s gaze softens as your alcohol-tinged words slur together. “Hey now, no need to get all weepy on me.” He uses his thumbs to wipe at the dampness on your cheeks. “I’m good, I promise. More than used to a few boos by now.”

You hiccup, arms tightening around his neck as you bury your face against his chest. “Still shouldn’t happen. You’re too precious for this world.”

A warm hand settles on your back. “Alright, alright, I think someone’s had enough fun for one night.” Charles gently tries to extricate you from Max’s embrace.

“Nooo!” You cling stubbornly to your friend. “I’m not done telling Maxie how much I love and appreciate him! Don’t take me away!”

Max snorts, wrapping one arm around your waist to keep you from toppling over. “It’s okay, Charles. She’s not bothering me at all. I think it’s sweet.”

“That may be, but we both know how much of a sloppy drunk she can be.” Charles glances pointedly at the damp spot on Max’s shirt. “I don’t want her embarrassing you or getting sick all over the place.”

You finally lift your head to pout at your boyfriend. “I would never! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As if to prove your point, you sway unsteadily on your feet, having to clutch at Max’s biceps to stay upright. Both men eye you skeptically.

“Sure, ma belle. Just let me get you home before you really make a scene, okay?” Charles reaches for you again, more insistently this time.

Evading his grasp, you stumble back a step, shaking your head adamantly. “No! I don’t wanna go home yet! The night is still so young!”

You spread your arms out, twirling in a wobbly circle that has both Charles and Max tensing like they expect you to topple over at any second. When you come to a halt, Max’s chest is suddenly right in front of you.

Stretching up on your tiptoes, you throw your arms around his neck and plant a smacking kiss on his cheek, leaving a ruby imprint of your lipstick behind. “I love you, Maxie!”

“Whoa, okay!” Max goes cross-eyed for a second at your proximity, hands fluttering uncertainly by his sides. “I, uh, I love you too, but — Charles? A little help here, mate?”

Charles is at your side in an instant, trying to unwrap your limbs from around Max with minimal grabbing or yanking. “Come on, mon cœur, let’s go. You’ve had more than enough fun tormenting poor Max for one night.”

“M’not tormenting!” You protest, slurring. You pat clumsily at Max’s face, smearing more lipstick in the process. “Just telling the truth! My favoritest person!”

“We both know that’s not true,” Charles says with a squeeze of his eyes, finally managing to dislodge you from Max. He sweeps you into his arms bridal style. “Say goodnight to Max, chérie.”

“Nooo! Put me down!” You kick your feet halfheartedly, craning your neck to mouth “love you” at Max one more time over Charles’ shoulder.

Max just waves, that amused grin still playing around his lips as Charles carts you away. You pout, collapsing back against your boyfriend’s chest with a grumpy huff of, “You’re the worst.”

“So you keep telling me.” Charles presses a kiss to your slack mouth, not seeming bothered in the slightest by your drunken ire. “But you’ll thank me for this tomorrow when you don’t have a raging hangover.”

Since Charles is clearly intent on removing you from the club no matter how much you protest, you decide to bask in the warmth and closeness of being carried. Nuzzling into the curve of his neck, you mumble, “I really do love Max so so so much though.”

“I know you do.” Charles’ thumb strokes over your cheek, touch unbearably tender. “In your own weird and oddly endearing way.”

You whine, squeezing your eyes shut against the harsh lights of the club’s entrance as Charles carries you outside. “M’not weird! Just honest when I’m drunk!”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, amused.

The sounds of thumping bass and crowd chatter fade as he deposits you carefully in the backseat of the waiting car. You immediately curl onto your side, blinking up at him owlishly from the leather seat.

Charles brushes the hair back from your face with a soft smile. “I really do adore you, you know? Even when you’re sloppy drunk and mauling Max with affection.”

Biting your lip, you grab his hand and turn your face to press a kiss against his palm. “I adore you too, Charlie. The mostest.”

His dimples appear and he leans down to catch your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. When he pulls away, he looks almost dazed for a moment before giving himself a shake. “Get some rest, mon ange. I’ll get us home safe and sound.”

You hum agreeably, already feeling sleep start to tug at your eyelids. Just before you drift off, you slur one last thing.

“Y’know you’re still my favoritest person though, right? Always an’ forever, baby.”

Charles ducks back into the car to place one more tender kiss on your forehead. “I know. Always and forever.”

[norrizzandpia]

Lando’s Biggest Fangirl (LN4)

Summary: It’s his girlfriend. Lando’s biggest fangirl is his girlfriend.

Warnings: language, sexual references???domestic lando 🧡🧡

Note: a filler while im super busy with school IM SORRY I COULDNT GET TO THE OSCAR CAUGHT IMAGINE TN BUT IT WILL HAPPEN TMRW I PROMISE. PROMISE.

y/nnn ass.

Comments:

Ln4andop81 BYE WHAT IS THIS

mclaren slumped

landonorris BABE.

- mclarensgirly idk why but this comment is so cute to me i love bf lando

landonorris everything about this post is so concerning

- y/nnn wdym? I think its perf

- landonorris first of all when did you take that of me and second of all THE CAPTION???

- y/nnn first of all i took it when you were sleeping thats obvi and second of all i like your ass. whats wrong with that?

- landonorris honestly? Nothing

f1fan2 i didnt know i needed this until rn

oscarpiastri your and lando’s relationship scares me sm

- landonorris TF??? WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU.

- y/nnn PASTRY???? I was starting to like you too.

- oscarpiastri y/n i dont think thats the way you talk to someone who has that pic of your bf sweating after getting out of his race car.

- y/nnn oscar. this is not a playful matter. hand. them. over.

- mclarensgirly YO OSCAR LEAK THOSE IM BEGGING YOU

- landonorris WHY ARE PEOPLE TAKING PICS OF ME WITHOUT MY CONSENT.

—

y/nnn finally got that pic from oscar. safe to say my boyfriend’s teammate is in love with him.

Comments:

mclarensgirly THANK YOU FOR DROPPING THIS 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

ln4andop81 YOU ARE A GOD SEND.

landonorris yeah but im in love with you ❤️

- oscarpiastri WDYM “yeah” IM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU????

- y/nnn idk man this pic says something else

- mclarensgirly LANDOSCAR IRL???? AWWWW

- f1fan2 OMG THE SHIP IS SHIPPING 🤭🤭

- oscarpiastri NO.

—

y/nnn FROTHING AT THE MOUTH. CHEWING ON THE WALLS. JUMPING UP AND DOWN. GIGGLING. SMACKING MY FIST AGAINST MY HEAD.

Comments:

landonorris WOW.

landonorris youve out done yourself with this caption

landonorris very vivid image of you absolutely going bonkers

- y/nnn thats the POINT hottie 😉😉

- mclarensgirly y/n calling him hottie lol shes just like us

oscarpiastri i want to block you

danielricciardo sometimes i wonder if ive followed the wrong account and this is just a 16 year old girl’s fan page

- y/nnn 16 year old me wouldve been feeling the same type of way as me now is.

- danielricciardo plz never say that again

- landonorris im so concerned

—

y/nnn awww look at my baby he’s so cute and babygirl 🤭🤭

Comments:

mclarensgirly the versatility of this woman never fails to amaze me

landonorris the eyes never lie, chica

- y/nnn AWWWW CAUSE YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME IN THIS OMFG AWWWWWWWWWWW

- landonorris i can hear your giggling

- y/nnn im not surprised

mclaren our favorite couple (we are so glad we didn’t come across another violent post on your page) 🧡🧡🧡

- y/nnn dw we will be getting back to regular programming shortly <3

- mclaren take the phone away. landonorris

- landonorris im literally on the other side of the world idk how i can do that

—

y/nnn BARK BARK 👹👹👹 GAHDAMN

Comments:

mclaren here we go again…

- y/nnn WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO??? SAY NOTHING??????

- mclaren YES.

- y/nnn WELL THATS NOT AN OPTION.

landonorris well the barking is new!

- y/nnn you say it like youre scared

- landonorris thats cause i am.

oscarpiastri bro

danielricciardo ngl he looks good here

- y/nnn THANK. YOU.

- landonorris thanks dan

- y/nnn SO YOU THANK HIM AND NOT ME????

- landonorris YOU BARKED AT ME.

- y/nnn ITS THE PROPER RESPONSE.

- landonorris NO BABY IT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT.

- f1fan2 their relationship is my roman empire

—

landonorris giving it a try: GAHDAMNNN BABY 🥵

Comments:

mclarensgirly WOWIEEEE SHE DOESNT GET ENOUGH RECOGNITION

F1fan2 she makes me question my sexuality.

Liked by landonorris

ln4andop81 mother of god almighty my jaw is on the floor

mclarensgirly thank you lando for blessing my eyes with this

ln4andop81 SHES SUCH A GREEK GODDESS

y/nnn see i dont like it when you do it 😟

- landonorris are you actually kidding me.

- y/nnn why cant you just leave me to my delusions in peace???

- landonorris bc they arent delusions im literally your boyfriend

- y/nnn YUM SAY IT AGAIN 😩😩😩

- landonorris omfg

[ohbo-ohno]

3.5k of cbf-turned-bully!soap x reader, inspired by this (very old) ask to my fave ever <3 (read on ao3)

tags: dubcon, dirty talk, masturbation, references to bullying, breaking and entering, rough sex, overstimulation

You’re still nearly shaking with frustration as you settle beneath your sheets, fingers twitching against your stomach and your jaw clenched tight.

You are not going to touch yourself. You’re not. There is no way in hell that you’re coming home from seeing Johnny fucking MacTavish for the first time in years and masturbating. It’s not happening.

…Well, you are awfully keyed up.

“Fucking bastard,” you hiss to yourself, frustration only growing as you shimmy down your loose shorts. You tell yourself firmly that this has absolutely nothing to do with the reappearence of your greatest nemesis, and try not to grind your teeth. You hadn’t even spoken to the man - just a glance of him had you hissing and ducking behind a different aisle at the supermarket - and you’re already riled by him. It’d be embarrassing if you weren’t nearly too horny to think.

You take a deep breath and rest your fingers over your slit, closing your eyes and letting your mind wander. You touch yourself slowly, fingers carefully spreading your lips as you let your mind wander. With your free hand you tug open your bedside drawer, tugging out your favorite toy and dragging it down your stomach.

Your movements are measured and familiar as your usual fantasies play across the backs of your eyes. You give yourself several long moments to slicken, coaxing more and more from your body with nimble fingers and quick circles.

In your mind, there’s a large body over yours and something just thick enough to let you feel the sting of a stretch inside of you, your breasts pushing against his chest, soft grunts in your ears.

Your breathing hitches, hips working against your palm as the fantasy starts to become more clear. He’s big, both above you and inside of you - only halfway in and already tugging you near the edge. His hands are on either side of your head, caging you in so all you can see is his tan skin, his rippling muscles.

You bite your lip to hold back a moan, eyelids fluttering. His bright eyes roll back when he pulls away enough for you to see his face. You lift one hand to your breast, the other gripping his head and both of you moan when you tug. The drag of his cock inside of you is perfect, his weight over you, the heat absolutely pouring over him…

His head drops back down when you let go of his hair, and his lips curve up into a smile as he looks down at you.

You nearly screech when you recognize him, throwing both hands away from your body and your eyes flying open to stare at your dark cieling. Your cunt and nipple throb, feeling quite suddenly neglected, but your heart isracing for an entirely different reason.

No. No. It’s one thing to satisfy your own needs after seeing the man, it’s another to… God, you can hardly even think it - to fantasize about the man and fuck yourself to him. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, desire rapidly cooling. Without Johnny himself in front of you - all six feet of him, muscular and masculine as he’s grown up to be - it’s easier to remember just how terrible he was to you all those years in school. There’s no sharp jawline and cute scruff to distract you from the memory of how he’d steal your clothes before you could change in gym class, leaving you with only those embarrassingly tiny athletic shorts for the rest of the day.

You huff as you let your legs fall closed again, the mood well and truly dissipating now. All you’ve got left is regular frustration, instead of the fun kind.

A sharp tap at the window jerks you out of your pouting, and you yank your blankets up to cover what little skin is showing in a panic, the slick dildo resting on your thighs. The room is silent for a moment, absolutely still except for the fan in the corner that’s been blowing for years, until there’s another tap.

You don’t realize what it is until the tap turns into a thunk. Then, you can hardly bite back your yelp. You’re nearly paralyzed with fear as the sound turns into a sort of… jangling almost, clearly coming from the one window in your bedroom.

Back pressed against your headboard, you can do nothing but think of all the things you should be doing as the curtains start blowing more noticeably, wind pouring into the room.

You’re just sucking in a breath to scream when Johnny MacTavish pops out from behind the curtain, combat boots loud against the wood flooring.

“Same old broken lock, huh, bonnie?” He smirks, strolling into your room like he belongs, like he used to. “Be honest now, you were just waiting here for me, weren’t you?”

You’re gaping like a fish, you know it, but you can’t help but stare at him wide-eyed.

The last time John MacTavish was in your bedroom, he was at least a foot shorter and a hell of a lot more welcome. The two of you had been eleven when he’d still been willing to be near you, but as soon as you’d moved on to elementary school - as soon as boys became boys and girls became girls, and kids had crushes instead of cooties - he’d stopped coming around. It was only a few years after that, in high school, that he’d gone from a friend you used to have to the boy who made school miserable.

And there is not one single reason you can think of to justify him sneaking in, the way he used to. Not now, all these years later with so much - said and unsaid - lingering between you.

None of that seems to weigh on him, though. He’s cocky as ever, doesn’t even bother to take off his boots as he saunters towards your bed, giving you a long look that can only be described as salacious as he leans himself against the foot of your bed.

It’s pure instinct to grope blindy at your bedside table, grabbing the first thing your fingertips touch and launching it at his head.

His instincts are sharp enough the he catches the bottle of water before it can do any real damage, but the small distraction gives you enough time to stumble to your feet, blanket held protectively in front of your body - you’re not completely nude, but a tanktop and panties aren’t exactly what you want Johnny seeing you in.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You hiss, some old instinct making you want to stay quiet even though there’s no one in the house with you.

The look he gives you is almost begrudgingly scolding, his lips tilted up in the corners as he tuts like he’s just barely holding back a smile. “Now, what was that for? I know your happy to see me, no need to start throwin’ things.”

“Johnny,” you scold, heartbeat slowing as the initial fear fades. “What the hell are you doing in my room? We haven’t spoken in years, you can’t just show back up-”

“Aw, I knew you missed me,” he grins, easily interrupting you and stepping almost within arms reach, water bottle discarded on your dresser. “Figured you didnae want to hear from me, I’d have written if I knew you’d be so crabbit.”

You splutter a bit, spine straightening in offense. “You’re breaking into my house! I have more than a right to be- what’d you say? Crabbit?”

His smile only grows and he steps closer, making you instinctually take a step back. “I don’t mind, lass. ‘S always fun to coax a pretty thing out of an ugly mood.”

Your face feels like it’s on fire as you splutter, your heart only beating faster as Johnny prowls forward, eyes dragging down your body like he wants to eat you alive. 

“I like your PJs, bonnie,” he rumbles, reaching out a hand to drag his finger down one of the straps of your tank top. “Did you match your panties just for me?”

Yous hiss and smack his hand away, one hand crossing tight over your chest to try and regain some amount of modesty. “How could I have dressed for you when you’re breaking in? This is ridiculous, you need to go, Johnny-”

You hardly even notice as he slowly pushes you backward, his chest pressed against yours until there’s no more room to pull away from him, the wall at your back a cold shock.

“Go?” He tilts his head, eyes big and round and you know the bastard isn’t as innocent or well-meaning as he’s trying to look. “But I just got here, bonnie. We haven’t even fucked yet.”

You rear back at the crass language, face flushing with heat. “What- we’re not going to-” You stumble over your words, pressing further back against the wall when his hands - rough, calloused, so much bigger than they used to be - grab both of your elbows to keep you still. “We’re not having sex,” you finally manage to choke out.

His grin is shark-like, sharp and verging on mean as he ducks his face closer to yours, lowering his voice to match your volume. “Why not? You look hungry, lass, don’t you want a little help? My fingers are bigger than yours, bet I can reach further up in your pretty cunt than you can.”

You gape for a moment, mouth moving as you think about saying any number of things, each of them dying before they cross your lips. This Johnny is so far from the lanky teenager who shoved you as you passed him in the hallway, and even further from the little boy who refused to be your first kiss because of your cooties. You have no idea how to deal with this invasive adult Johnny.

Your hands are small against his broad chest, and you press against him with just a hint of pressure, hoping he’ll take your hint and lean away. He doesn’t, only pushes himself closer and gives you some of his weight to hold up. 

“Johnny, come on,” you try, pushing a little harder and only getting yourself more firmly pinned against the wall. “We can- let’s get lunch tomorrow, okay? We can talk then.”

Johnny doesn’t respond at first, only ducks down and presses his face into your throat. You stiffen at the feeling of his damp breath against your skin, the slight brush of his teeth chasing goosebumps down your spine. Your breath hitches when you feel a distinct shape against your stomach, his hardness pressing into you.

“I can’t leave now, bonnie,” he says against your throat, groaning and grinding himself against you just once. “Ye’ve got me all worked up, I’ll die if you make me go.”

“Johnny…” you whine, wrapping your hands around his biceps and squeezing.

“I’ll make it good for you, don’ worry,” he reassures, hands shifting from the wall to wrap around your waist. “Might be a tad selfish once we get goin’, but you’ll have your fun.”

You can’t do much but squirm as one of his hands slips down beneath your bottoms, large hand cupping you. Your squeak is entirely unintentional when his fingers begin to explore without any reservations, your face hot with embarrassment at how quickly your body reacts.

Johnny doesn’t lift his head far, only enough to mouth at your jaw and leave little sucking bites. His free hand, the one not stroking your clit and drawing out wetness from your core, drifts up enough to palm one of your breasts.

“Johnny,” you breathe, incapable of saying anything but his name.

You can feel his smile against your skin, and you arch further into him when he slides one thick finger inside of you. His fingers are bigger than yours, enough for you to worry about the size of other parts of him.

“You’re so tight for me, lovie. Gonna squeeze me just right, huh?” His fingers crooks inside of you at just the right angle, and your hips jerk forward on instinct as you cry out. “Pretty thing, can’t believe I never had this back in school.”

“What-” You start, cutting yourself off with a gasp that melts into a moan as he pushes another finger inside of you. You’re more than wet enough to take it, but everything seems to be moving at hyperspeed, and you can’t keep up. “Oh, that’s- what’re you talking about?”

He huffs against your jaw, nosing up a little further to press against your cheek as his hot breath washes over you. “You’re so pretty lass, had me hard as iron every day when we were kids. Wasn’t very nice, huh bonnie? Walkin’ around in those cute skirts and - fuck, your pretty blush… drove me fucking insane.”

You yelp at the sudden stretch of three fingers, pushing up onto your toes to try and jerk away, but Johnny just follows you, thumb stroking cruelly over your clit.

“Just wanted to bend you over,” he groans, pressing his hips into your stomach and gripping your breast tight enough that you worry you’ll bruise. “Wanted to put you on your knees, on your back, fuck, woulda done anything for just a peek at this pretty cunt.”

“Jo-hnny,” you hiccup, melting against him as the pleasure begins to overwhelm you, everything else fading as you creep closer to an orgasm you’re not even sure you want. “I don’t-”

“Hush,” he hisses, smacking your tit lightly and ignoring your cry of shock. “Lemme get you off here, then I’ll fuck you, yeah? Gonna split you open on my cock, show you what you coulda had years ago, gonna fuck you dumb.”

He finally presses his lips to yours, swallowing your moans and cries as they slowly grow in volume. Your hips buck against his hands as you chase an orgasm, unable to do anything more than pant into Johnny’s mouth as he licks into yours, tongue exploring every bit he can reach.

Your orgasm absolutely melts you, leaves you weak and limp pinned between the wall and the man you’d once known so well. Johnny’s breathing almost as hard as you, every part of him pressed fully against you. He’s all heat and solid man, forcing you to ride out every euphoric wave of your orgasm.

You’re a little glassy eyed by the end of it, knees weak and mind even weaker. You’re vaguely aware of your hands lightly pushing at him as he lifts you by the thighs, dropping you carelessly onto the bed.

“Fuck,” Johnny hisses, tearing your clothes from your body like they’re nothing. You whine when he presses kisses to your stomach, those kisses quickly turning to sucking bites that have you arching and running a hand through his mohawk. 

He doesn’t bother to take off his shirt - too busy licking his way up to your tits for that - but the sound of his belt dropping to the floor and his jeans following is loud in the quiet of your bedroom.

When he takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking like he’s trying to physically pull more moans from you, you arch off the bed with a near squeal. He’s hunched over you as he settles firmly above your prone form on the bed, knees between your thighs and keeping them spread.

“Slow- slow down,” you gasp, tapping at his shoulder a bit frantically as you feel the thick - so thick - length of him press against your drooling center. “Johnny-!” 

Your cry melts into a long, drawn-out moan as Johnny forces himself inside of you with one mean thrust. Three fingers somehow wasn’t enough prep for you to take him comfortably, his cock leaving you teary eyed and writhing on the bed as he bottoms out in just seconds. You feel like you’ve been impaled, the breath forced from your chest as you dig your nails into his shoulder and try despertley to breathe through the stretch.

“There,” Johnny pants above you, lips pink and swollen from his kisses. “There ye go, bonnie, good fuckin’ girl for me. Coulda - shit, shit - coulda had this years ago, huh?” His head drops low, eyes boring into yours as he pulls back and thrusts back into you sharply, forcing another cry from your lips. “See how good it feels? I can make you feel so good, pretty girl, promise.”

“Johnny, c’mon,” you gasp, scratching down his shoulder blades and pulling him close. Any reservations you had have been fucked out of you in just a few thrusts, and even despite your recent orgasm your clit throbs with need. “C’mon, you can- you can move.”

His smile is sharp above you, his own pupils blown wide and his shirt sticking to his sweat-slick skin. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you harder?”

You whine high in your throat, throwing your head back and hitching your hips higher as he finds a pace that works, his hips slamming against the backs of your thighs when you wrap them around his waist. You’re half off the bed with the position he’s got you in, his arms scooping you up around your back so he can lavish more attention across your tits.

Every breath you take leaves you in a moan or a cry, the pleasure he’s punshing into you almost overwhelming. You feel fevered, desperate in a way you never have before as you claw desperately at Johnny’s scalp, tugging his hair until he moans.

“So tight for me,” he slurs against your chest, drooling as he switches from one nipple to the other. “Drivin’ me fuckin’ mad, bonnie, could stay in this cunt forever, shit.”

“Johnny,” you gasp, eyes screwed up tight as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to a second peak. “You’re so… fuck, so big, I can’t… can’t breathe.”

“Yeah?” He asks, looking up at you and pushing himself up enough to press kisses to your lips. “‘M fuckin’ the air right out of you, huh? Fuckin’ you so good you can’t breathe?”

“Yeah,” you keen, your body beginning to tense as you begin to taste your orgasm. “Feel so good, Johnny, please, I’m so- I’m so close, c’mon…”

“Yes, yes,” he chants against you, his lips brushing over every bit of your face he can reach, tongue darting out to lick up the few stray tears slipping from your eyes. “Squeeze me tight, c’mon, come for me, lass, you can do it.”

He doesn’t give up his tight hold on you to rub your clit, but you find that you don’t need him to, the combination of his thrusts and everything about the situation bringing you to a powerful enough orgasm that your vision whites out for a moment. Your throat is sore as you shout, and the fabric of Johnny’s shirt is loose around where your fingers have dug in mercilessly.

“Fuck, tight as a vice, fuck, fuck,” Johnny moans, his own face screwed up in pleasure as he loses any rhythm he had before, fucking you like a fleshlight. He leans back and pulls you up with him, holding you chest to chest with him and burying his face into your neck as you hold onto him for dear life. 

He buries his teeth right above your pulse as he comes, working his hips in small, jerky thrusts to milk himself as you tighten up around him. Your breath is synced with his, both of you panting desperately and soaked in sweat.

You’re still reeling as he begins to recover. Before you can even muster enough strength to let your thighs fall away from his hips, he’s falling forward onto the bed and laying both of you out on your sides, his hold on you not loosening at all. He takes half a second to throw his shirt across the room, then presses you so close that your tits are all but flat against his chest.

He’s uncharacteristically silent as the two of you share breaths, each of you slowly floating back into your bodies. The only emotion you can really muster is shock - how is it that Johnny, your best friend turned biggest bully, just fucked you better than any man you’ve been with before? It feels, in some absurd way, unfair.

“We’ll have to talk about this,” you say quietly, once your heartbeat has almost evened out and your breaths are coming evenly. 

Johnny only hums, one big hand moving down to hitch your thigh back around his waist, tilting your body so somehow even more of your skin is pressed against his. “Sure, bonnie,” he murmurs, voice half muffled from where his face is pressed into your hair. “Tomorrow.”

“I’m serious, Johnny,” you try, one hand resting on his ribs. “You broke into my house.”

“Hmm,” he hums, taking a deep breath of your scent and letting it out contentedly. “I’ll say sorry in the mornin’. Sleep now, though.” His voice is almost pleading, his grip on you tightening for just a moment, one hand behind your back and the other resting on your ass. You feel like a stuffed animal, but you’re too pleasure-sated to really mind.

“Alright,” you agree, settling into his hold fully and letting your mouth rest against his collarbone as your eyes flutter shut. “Tomorrow.”

[vulturelined]

sanji nsfw drabble w/ fem reader, mdni | first nsfw writing, go easy on me gang |

sanji had always respected you, and he made it painfully obvious in everything he did. he was always over the top for anyone he deemed attractive, sure, but with you he always tried a little harder. he'd serve you first before all, make snacks/beverages exclusively for you (not for anyone else unless they ask). I mean, he'd even sit beside you and fan you with a paper plate on a hot day if you asked.

he had an unmistakable bias for you, practically worshipping you. he would drop to his knees in an instant if you asked him with that pretty look you always give him when you request things. he was utterly smitten, and everyone could see it.

sanji gives you whatever he can without expecting anything in turn, which is why he is struggling to believe that you are in front of him, between his legs, sat on your knees and stroking his cock at such a languid pace that it makes his head spin.

one hand was tugging at his tie, the other combing through his hair. he's between staring at you with wide eyes and squeezing them shut, jaw slack. small, shocked laughs mix in with his heavy breathing and choked moans, and it only makes you smile.

pre-cum beads at his tip, and when you run your thumb over it, he shudders - melting into the chair he sat in and heaving a sigh. "feels, s'good..." he mumbles, sliding his hand down to grip his thigh to resist the urge to buck his hips up into your hand. even now, he respects you, and in response to the sweet gesture, you start to speed your hand up.

"you deserve it," you coo up at him, watching his eyes practically turn to hearts at your gentle, sultry tone. "always so sweet, need to treat you the way you need to be treated." his whole body tenses when you lean forward, dragging your tongue from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling it.

his gasps and moans are choked, and at some point, he slaps his hand over his mouth, tilting his head back. he's absolutely stunned this is happening, close to fainting the more he thinks about it.

sanji knew he probably wouldn't last long with your sweet hand wrapped around him, pumping him with your gradually increasing speed and praise dripping from your lips like honey - he just doesn't expect to nearly cum when you finally take him into your mouth.

his eyes roll back and he thrusts his hips up, muttering an apology into his hand and digging his heels into the ground to try to keep himself still. when he finally looks down at you again, he has to physically fight against fucking your mouth the way he's dreamed of doing.

reaching a trembling hand out to brush your hair from your face, his brows furrow and his heart skips a beat when you open your eyes to meet his. "so pretty," he groans, tangling his fingers in your hair. you hum around his cock, not missing the way it makes him flinch and choke on a moan, dragging your tongue along his length every time you bob your head.

you had almost always imagined the way sanji would look like in this situation, but you'd never expected it to be this good. you adjust to press your heel against your core, gently rocking your hips at the sight of the man above you. his hair is messy from combing his hand through it and tossing his head back in pleasure, blonde strands sticking to his forehead and sticking out in every way. his brows are curled up, eyes squinted, face red, and his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

it makes you moan around him, closing your eyes and moving your head faster.

if he was always this pretty when you suck him off, then you'd for sure have to do this again.

[shiplessoceans]

Moments in House MD that made me absolutely feral as an O.G fan that watched it as it aired back in the naughties, shipping House/Wilson hardcore and not realising I was queer:

1. Wilson loudly reciting a poem to House as he enters the hospital lobby which contains the line: "His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, everything about him leaves me raw.'

2. The look on Wilson's face when a random clinic patient gives House advice about his date with Cameron.

"Do her....or you're gay."

*cue Wilson looking to the side like...wait a minute...*

3. House: "They were not Prada! you wouldn't know Prada if it stepped on your scrotum."

4. Wilson: "House I believe you're a romantic, you didn't just believe him, you believed IN him! Wanna come over tonight, watch old movies and cry?"

5. House (yelling across a crowded lobby to Wilson): "How long can you go without sex?"

6. The look on Wilson's face when he gets a masseuse for House (!) and she massages his hand, causing him to begin moaning orgasmically.

7. Stacey: "What are you hiding?"

House: "I'm gay... Oh that's not what you meant! But it does explain a lot thought. No girlfriend, always with Wilson..."

8. House watching Wilson sleep on the couch in his apartment, then quietly erasing a voicemail from a real estate agent saying Wilson's apartment application for a new place went through.

9. Wilson, explaining his infidelity during his previous marriage, to Cameron when she's feeling awful because she considered cheating on her husband while he was dying:

"Well my wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick. But I met someone who made me feel...funny. Good. And I... didn't wanna let that feeling go."

The lack of pronoun haunts me to this day.

10. Gay male patient harassing House and questioning why he won't treat him:

Patient: "Because you're a closet case?" (Eyeing House and Wilson who have just emerged from House's apartment)

Wilson: "Uh...we're not...together..."

House: "He is so self-loathing."

11. House nearly kills himself to attempt to prove there is no afterlife, Wilson waits over his bedside and then calls him an idiot and orders him extra pain medication. House's response is:

"I love you."

12. House: "Big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything."

13. Wilson refusing to participate in a board vote to oust House from the hospital and consequently losing him job for House. Wilson's furious with him over being put in that position but forgives House easily.

14. Wilson (speaking to House about dating a woman eerily similar to House): "Why not? Why not date you? It's perfect! We've known each other for years, we put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We're a couple!"

House: "Are we still speaking metaphorically?"

15. (Less than a minute later when House keeps trying to convince Wilson he and Amber are a bad idea).

Wilson: "Wait a minute, every time I agree with you, you come up with a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?"

House: *Stares at Wilson with the most meaningful eye contact to ever eye contact*

Wilson: "Oh! Well if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved (clicks tongue)."

16. To Wilson's new girlfriend in a threatening, 'stay away from my man' voice:

House: "Give him back his sweatshirt... Pit stains don't become you."

17. House: "This isn't just about the sex! You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves..."

*tense pause*

House: "Oh my god. You're sleeping with me."

*flees restaurant*

18. House: "I have really gotta get you laid. If I have to plough that furrow myself, so be it."

19. Wilson: "I have a headache."

House: "We don't have to have sex, sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk."

20. (To a bellboy at a hotel House is staying at, while gesturing to Wilson)

House: "After he and I have sex, I'm gonna slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub."

21. House going to interview all of Wilson's ex wives to figure out how best to break him and Cuddy up when they aren't even dating. The look on his face when Bonnie explains how good at sex Wilson is? Priceless.

22. House: "Probably my deep and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."

22. House: "If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be fine with that."

23. House borrowing money off Wilson in increasing amounts to test the limits of their friendship. He later admits to Wilson that: "Maybe I don't want to push this til it breaks".

24. House being convinced the male CIA agent who approaches him in season 4 is a stripper and sitting on a bench saying:

House: "You wanna close that door?"

CIA agent: "Why?"

House: "Well I assume you're gonna drop trou at some point during the dance, I don't see why I should share."

25. Wilson: "I want a threesome"

House: "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"

26. All of that episode where House is talking to Dr Nolan and says Wilson is not a consolation prize. Legit became convinced halfway through that this was going to be House realising he's in love with Wilson and wants to keep living with him.

27. House hiring a P.I. to stalk Wilson after they've had a falling out to see if he misses him. The P.I. clocks this immediately and treats the case like that of a scorned lover needing to know if the other party is pining and if theres anything that can make him come back.

28. Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant to throw a wrench in his plans to date their neighbour.

29. Wilson got mad that Cuddy hurt House. So he bought her dream apartment out from under her in sheer spite and moved into said apartment with House.

30. Wilson being indecisive and unable to buy furniture for himself because of a flimsy sense of self and an inability to figure out who he is and what he wants. House teases him about this and challenges him to buy one peice of furniture that says something about who Wilson is.

The peice of furniture Wilson buys?

A piano organ for House.

31. House: "You were thinking about Wilson while were were having sex? That's cool so was I."

32. Wilson: "If things go wrong, I just want you to know..."

House: "If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me? Everyone just kind of assumed it."

33. Cameron: "Where do you put the cane?"

House: (referring to Wilson) "If he buys me dinner he can find out."

34. That gay as fuck ending, fuck I'll never be over it.

[vitaminkyeom]

[22:57]

PAIRING || Jeonghan x Female Reader

GENRES || Smut, Enemies to Lovers AU, Opposites Attract AU, Bad Boy!Jeonghan, Star Student!Reader

WARNINGS || minors dni, smut, oral(f. receiving), unprotected sex ( do not do this), switch!jeonghan, switch!reader, pet names [let me know if i forgot anything!]

WORD COUNT || 3.2k

A/N || so first all big thanks to mars @onlymingyus and maren @wooahaeproductions for telling me how to write this stuff properly. first time writing such a long fic, let alone smut and i'm proud of how it came out. BUT i did not remember i had a similar jeonghan smut fic before so ig we just circled back to the same point of me writing the same shit again TT but ANYWAYS I TRIED AND UHM for the first time i think its acceptable? yeah enjoy pls do let me know your thoughts! (also 3.2k for one scene? woohoo!)

TAGLIST || @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @aaniag @thepoopdokyeomtouched

@caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @athanasiasakura @sea-moon-star @doubleshoticedshakenespresso @asasilentreader

@isabellah29 @mrswonwooo @hoichi-02 @dinossaurz

@winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jjeongddol @k-drama-adict @princessjazzyjazz @mnstxmnbb

@stervahaha @escoupseu [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

“are you that desperate?”

“are you only big talk?”

you saw him smirk at your response before he chuckled lowly, feeling his chest rumble against yours.

“fair response.” yoon jeonghan said, leaning in closer so that you could feel his breath fan your face. the two of you were in his bedroom, with him lying over you and if anyone had even merely thought of this scene even an hour ago, they would have been shot dead by you. 

what you were thinking when you came knocking at the door of the person you hated the most was beyond you, but you pushed that thought away as you finally felt his lips brush against your jaw. you shuddered at the faint feeling. i needed this.

“but i never thought you would come to me of all the people, princess.” he whispered, kissing your jaw slowly, as if he had all the time in the world.

me neither, you thought, already hating the new nickname out of the endless nicknames he used to call you.

“yeah, but here i am. so now get on with it quickly.” you said, closing your eyes to sink into the feeling of his lips against the already searing skin of your neck. but before you could relish in the feeling, you felt him draw away from you, causing you to snap open your eyes as you looked at him.

“what- what are you doing?” you asked, suddenly breathless by the lack of body heat now that he was sitting back on the bed on his heels.

“do you not want this?” jeonghan asked with a smirk, yet his tone was serious. you frowned at him before sitting up yourself, feeling your cheeks heat up due to some reason. 

“what do you mean?” you asked, feeling annoyed at the sudden question answer session. you were frustrated with everything already and the last thing you needed was an interrogation by the man you absolutely abhorred.

“if you don’t want to do this. we don’t have to.” he said, still smirking and you felt a pit of fire spark in your stomach.

“what are you talking about, jeonghan? i didn’t come all the way to your house to get fucked if i didn’t want to.”

“you don’t look like you want to.” he said, smirk dropping as a softer look masked his face. “is someone forcing you to? a stupid dare you took up? it’s alright princess, you don’t have to do it. you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. you’re not a coward for that.” 

“what-” his soft words were like a slap on your face and you immediately felt tears prick your eyes. isn’t this the real reason you came over? you just wanted someone to understand you, understand your burn outs and hardships. but not someone within your friend circle. no, they had gone through the same shit as you so of course they would understand. you wanted to be understood by someone who had not had to go through this crazy academic and societal pressure, who didn’t have to hold up an image, an facade so that you knew your feelings were valid.

“awww,” jeonghan cooed, a sound which made you always want to slap that look out of his face. he placed a hand on your knee. “did i just make my princess cry?”

“fuck you, jeonghan.” you said, aggressively wiping away any tear that might have fallen with your sleeves. you glared at him and the soft look was gone, replaced by the menacing smile you were used to every time he would try to rile you up.

“i mean, i’m up for it if you are.”

you didn’t know what caused the bomb in you to tick off; was it his shit eating grin? was it his soft behaviour right now? was it his beautiful eyes crinkled in that challenging way as always?

you were not sure which one of these were the reason for whatever you did next, but whatever happened after this was something you had never, dreamt of doing.

you grabbed yoon jeonghan’s collar and yanked him towards you as you crashed your face into his, lips colliding in a frenzy. kissing was the number one no-no in the benefits contract the two of you had made half an hour ago, and you managed to breach the contract five minutes into having sex.

great self control, y/n.

jeonghan - 1, me - 0.

but was it really a loss for you when kissing him felt like this? you had always thought jeonghan’s touches would be cold, his lips wet and unfamiliar against the skin of whichever poor soul had decided to get in bed with him. you really hadn’t expected it to feel like this though.

his mouth was hot against yours, and you were kissing him so hard your lips almost hurt. goosebumps broke out all over your skin and your grip on his collar tightened. your other hand wrapped around his neck, fisting the back of his hair tightly. you heard him groan lightly, causing your stomach to somersault at the sound. 

jeonghan himself seemed to have zero restraint. his hands roamed all over your back, lips kissing and sucking yours with almost as much desperation. his teeth sunk into your bottom lips, causing you to gasp at the feeling of the blooming pain and he took this opportunity to slip his tongue into yours. inside your mouths, both of your tongues fought for dominance, as though trying to replay the bickerings you two always did whenever you saw each other in this way instead.

both of your mouths, which always used to fight against each other so much, moved harmoniously against each other now. you could feel how hot your skin was growing with his each touch and you wanted nothing more but to take off your clothes and kiss him more.

you felt his weight lean into you more, until you couldn’t help but collapse, breaking the kiss a little to suck in your breath. but that was short lived as jeonghan latched onto your lips once more, extinguishing every drop of air in your lungs. you too ran your hand wildly through his hair, gripping and fisting his locks as your other hand raked his back through his thin t-shirt.

“fuck, you always drive me so crazy.” jeonghan whispered hotly against your mouth, causing your stomach to stumble once again. 

“so i win?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him as innocently as you could. you knew he hadn’t forgotten that you were the one who pounced on him to kiss him but you still tried wiggling out of it.

jeonghan let out a breathy laugh, which now didn’t seem as annoying as it usually should have. “as if. i’m going to goad this over you for the rest of our lives, princess.” he said, before kissing your nose gently.

when did your heart skip a beat over his cute actions?

“how about you use your mouth for a better reason? like kissing me?” you asked, eyes fluttering close with a soft sigh as you felt his kisses move southwards, towards your neck. you tilted your head up to give him more access, but couldn’t feel the warmth of his lips anymore.

“what are you-” you began, when your eyes met his gleaming ones, staring back at you with his signature challenging smirk plastered on his face. oh no. you had probably just landed yourself into more trouble.

“careful princess. one might say you’ve become addicted to my kisses. besides, if i showed you how i put my mouth to better use, you might wish i go back to just talking.”

you rolled your eyes at him and tried to sit up, but he pushed you down again. “is that a challenge?”

“everything with you is a challenge. i’ve got to prove to you i’m the best at everything so that you don’t ever look away.”

“that’s never going to happen.” you said, smirking about him. your heart was hammering in your chest and you loved the adrenaline rush in your system right now that you always got whenever jeonghan was around. “fastest to come is the loser. and winner gets a prize.”

“fine with me.” he said, smiling at you too sweetly. “but loser has to please the winner.”

“throw in whatever clause you want, yoon. i’m going to win this anyway.”

“big words coming from the person who couldn’t even follow a three rule contract five minutes into making it.”

you groaned and sank back onto the bed, but immediately yelped as jeonghan yanked you closer to him by your leg. draping your legs over his shoulder, he began kissing your inner thigh, causing the fire in your stomach to grow.

“what are you doing, you idiot?” you hissed as he edged closer to your pussy. “let me take off my panties- oh!”

your sentence turned into a moan as his lips brushed against your wet panties, feeling a shock pass through your pussy at the touch. you looked down to see a smirking jeonghan, and you immediately regretted the small burst of pleasure you had felt.

“what?” you asked, gritting your teeth. 

“nothing. just that you look cute when you’re angry about something you’re clearly enjoying.”

“shut up yoon.”

as though in a response to your shut up, jeonghan kissed your clit through your soaking panties again, and you felt the frown in your face disappear as you sunk into the bliss. he began kissing and sucking your lips through the panties, applying the slightest of pressure that caused your hips to jerk up.

but he must be the devil, because he held your hip down by an arm as he continued teasing, until you found yourself thrusting your hip into his face to get some kind of pressure.

“jeonghan.” you moaned, feeling more and more frustrated by the teasing from his end. he groaned into your pussy at the sound of your voice, causing you to visibly shiver. “jeonghan i- i swear- you’re losing at this rate-”

and that was the second mistake you made that day because that comment must have stroked yoon jeonghan’s competitive streak finally because he then pulled the crotch of your panties aside, softly blowing cold air at your now bare pussy. you jumped at the contact and jeonghan just laughed. laughed.

“fuck princess, you’re so wet for me.” he murmured and you felt heat rush into your cheeks.

“yeah well that means you’re doing a decent job.” you commented back, trying your level best to control your ragged breathing as he placed careful soft kisses on your pussy lips.

“really?” he said sceptically. “then i must up my game.” he prodded his tongue into your slit experimentally, causing you to gasp loudly at the sensation. 

“jeo- jeonghan.” you moaned, and he took that as a yes to begin eating you out, sucking at your clit as he lapped at your juice. the moans tumbled out of your lips as his pace increased, feeling a small coil form in your stomach.

reaching downwards blindly, you grabbed a lock of his hair as you shamelessly grinded on his face. you felt so good. he made you feel so good.

yoon jeonghan. the very man you hated. 

and then you felt him slide a finger into you, a loud moan of his name escaping your throat as he began moving it in and out of your hole, finger fucking you whilst simultaneously sucking at your extremely sensitive silt. 

“hannie!” you yelped as he added another finger, almost screwing your eyes at the pleasure you were feeling when you noticed his hip dig into the mattress. he stopped for a second to moan at the new pet name you had just given him, grinding into the mattress for some friction for his erection.

you felt heat bloom in your cheeks. the yoon jeonghan unable to stop himself for you?

your head spun and you felt like you were definitely on cloud nine.

the knot in your stomach was now the tightest and all coherent thoughts were lost from your brain except the want to come completely undone in his hands.

“hannie- hannie, i- come-” you blabbered, eyes screwed shut as you tugged at his hair for support. 

“go head princess.” he rasped, sounding equally desperate to come. “go ahead and make a mess on my face. i won’t judge you, unlike others.”

and that sentence broke the dam that you were holding up till now. with a loud cry you came, losing your senses for a minute. pleasure clouded your mind as everything else went blank, and you enjoyed your bliss before finally reality rooted you back.

gasping for breath your eyes fluttered open to meet jeonghan’s equally blown apart ones as he hovered over you, gasping for breath as he stared back at you with an unrecognisable expression, licking your cum on his lips.

your stomach somersaulted at the action. 

“you win.” he gasped, hands moving towards your shirt button. 

“what?” you asked, still dazed but followed suit as you mindlessly tried opening your shirt buttons. jeonghan tsked before leaning down to steal a kiss, causing your mind to go blank once again.

was this man always this addicting?

“you won the challenge.” he whispered between kisses as the two of you went back to devouring each other's mouth, him unbuttoning your shirt faster than you and yanking it open.

pushing your bra up to expose your breasts, he leaned back to look at your body, and you felt your heart jump at the way he looked at you.

no one had ever looked at you like that. no one.

because yoon jeonghan looked like he had just seen the body of a divine deity, with his mouth hanging slightly open and his eyes completely blown apart.

you cleared your throat to stop the heat flaming your cheeks. “stop looking at me like that, yoon. now lie down so that i can give you a blowjob-”

at the word ‘blowjob’ his head snapped up to meet your eyes. “princess have i rendered you that senseless? you won. i already fucking came. so let me please you like you had originally agreed to.”

the realisation hit you as jeonghan jumped off the bed to remove his pants, causing you to look away in embarrassment.

what the hell? he came untouched?

“let’s get these panties off, princess.” his voice rooted you back to the present and you whipped your head towards him just in time to see him tug at your panties. you lifted your hips slightly so that he could pull them off with ease and he threw it onto the bedroom floor.

then leaning into your body, he rested his entire weight onto you. “oh princess, you won my heart since the day i laid my eyes on you. i was always meant to lose to you.”

you opened your mouth to speak but he swallowed all your response by kissing you, engulfing you into his warmth once again. this time, you let him dominate your tongue, exploring every bit of your mouth like a hungry man. 

the room was filled with the wet sound of open mouthed kisses before he broke it to look at you, eye gazing into yours softly as he grinned. you felt your stomach jump as you stared back at him, mirroring his expression.

leaning in once more, he kissed the corner of your lips before moving southwards to your jaws. then he kissed the soft skin right under your ear, and you nearly drowned in the bliss you felt. his kisses moved further down to your neck and you shuddered when you felt his teeth graze against your skin.

“ah- hannie!” you moaned as you sunk in his teeth as a particular spot, quickly soothing the bite with his tongue as you clawed his back. he kissed the hold of your throat before lightly biting the rise of your breasts.

“i love all the sounds that you make for me, princess.” he muttered, leaving love bites all over your breast.

“as if. these sounds are just a natural response to- oh!” you voice turned to a moan as jeonghan latched his lips onto your hardened nipple, sucking and biting it as he played with the other one using his hands.

this went on for a while until all you could hear was the sound of sucking and your moans and when he had felt that your breasts had received enough attention to turn you into putty into his hands, he gently lifted your hips up and positioned himself in front of your entrance.

he licked his lips as he met your eyes. “ready, princess?”

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

“words, princess. i need words. or have i fucked you dumb already?” he smirked.

ah, back was his signature smirk that you had nearly grown to miss.

“ready if you are.” you retorted back.

“ah, there’s my princess’ sharp tongue. thought you might have accidentally forgotten to speak after my confession because you too secretly liked me back.”

“you only wish.”

laughing at that, jeonghan smiled sweetly at you before slowly pushing himself inside of you. you groaned at the stretch you felt and he too stopped moving once he was completely inside you, giving you time to move.

“ready?” he asked, his voice straining as though he was trying to restrain himself from not coming so fast once again. “ready.”

slowly, he pulled himself back, causing your eyes to roll back as you felt the drag of his dick inside you. it felt so, so good. the two of you moaned out simultaneously, one of jeonghan’s hand slid forward to reach yours and you grabbed it to steady yourself while the other clutched at the bedsheet.

gently, he moved in and out of you before picking up the pace slowly.

“hannie.” you moaned, eyes screwed shut, unable to think anymore. the only thing in your head was jeonghan’s moans and how good he was making you feel.

once again you felt the coil form in your stomach, a little tighter this time as jeonghan slapped his hips against yours. you felt yourself clench around him involuntarily that had him moaning and stumbling into your body.

both of your moans were swallowed by your kissing, hips still slamming against each other. the coil grew tighter and tighter until you felt like you couldn’t hold back anymore.

“hannie- mmph! hannie i-”

“me too.” he groaned, burying his head in the crook of your neck as you played with the ends of his hair. “me too- ah!”

with a last snap of his hips you felt the coil snap, screwing your eyes shut as you came for the second time that day, this time you felt something hot fill inside you as jeonghan too came. he was still moving inside you, riding out his high, before slowing down and then momentarily going still and crashing into you.

silence filled the air as both of you tried catching your breath, and then finally jeonghan rolled off you, pulling himself out of you.

“did you like it, princess?” he asked, gently brushing off the strands of hair from your face. 

you stared at him for a minute, trying to catch your breath. he looked so breathtaking now. so beautiful and soft as he stared back at you lovingly. you had never felt as loved as you did right now.

you immediately knew your answer.

“please.” you snorted. “that was disgusting. do it again.”

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[xo-cod]

someone asked for it but the ask got deleted so here it is again :)

bodyguard!simon x popstar!reader

absolutely hated you in the beginning. only tolerated you because price had given him this responsibility and because the pay was decent. otherwise he was just a shadow with one worded responses and grunts towards whatever you said.

used to manhandle you whenever you used to walk slow, pulling you along with a tut and a roll of his eyes. you couldn't really see his face since he still wore his balaclava but his face was definitely screwed up behind it

the loud cheering becomes jarring to him the first few times, he's not used to this environment and there's been a few times where his hands have sprung to his gun ready to unload hell onto a poor excited fan who wanted a signature

but the more time he spends with you, the more he warms up around you. he even knew time brought you on base for when he needed to grab something quickly and you ended up meeting his team members

gaz and soap are basically #1 fans fr. the fact that you're friends with their favourite musicians makes them fanboy, your life is so exciting and they always want to know the latest gossip.

simon watches on unamused but secretly feeling a certain way when he sees you speaking happily with his friends

the dances you have with your backup dancers make simon so jealous ‼️‼️ the way your hips sway with theirs, the way their hands are across your waist, the tight outfits, god he has to physically restrain himself from ravishing you

he watches on with his jaw clenched, body rigid as his eyes feast upon your body like treasure. even through the thousands and thousands of people there, you'll always feel the burning of his eyes on you

and when your eyes meet him on a special part of a song, he's literally entranced by you. his breath held and he feels vulnerable, despite the millions of people there. when you're singing to him, it's to him

his praise to you is usually a nod of his head and a "good" but the more you both grow closer, the more you notice how touchy he can become and the more praise that falls from his lips (though it still can sound a little cold only because he feels awkward and doesn't think you need his reassurance that you're doing a good job)

"wear this pretty number f'me" when you both become super close, he likes it when you wear his favourite outfits. he'll hand them to you offering no explanation, only that it looks really good on you. secretly admiring you on stage when it glimmers and shimmers against the light because you look so beautiful

secretly has a few pictures on you on stage where you look so beautiful, he can't help but flick through them at the dead of night when he's alone.

will also secretly heart and save the videos on a private account of all the fan edits of you and him (a cliche but i like them 🤭)

will definitely notice the little skulls you have dangling from your outfit/jewellery and he smiles to himself, it's like an easter egg no one could guess

begged him to make an insta and after much reluctance and pleading he finally did.

he gained followers very quickly, his dm's full of people wanting to thirst over him to his workout routine

but you're the only one he follows <3

yes, he's also fallen victim to stalking your page and looking at old boyfriend with a smug and annoyed look

you got papped one time with the initials SR♡ on your necklace and it went crazy popular. everyone trying to figure who the mystery person was.

but simon looks on in pride, he might be called ghost to everyone else but between you both he'll always be your simon riley. a secret no one could know <3

cue soap and gaz screeching at the paparazzi pictures, having called on the whole thing when ghost was assigned to you in the first place