#national greasy food day

[murderousink23]

10/25/2023 is World Pasta Day 🍝🌎, International Artist Day 🎨👩‍🎨👨‍🎨🌎, World Opera Day 🎼🌎, Sovereignty Day 🇸🇮, Chucky The Notorious Killer Doll Day 🇺🇲, National Greasy Food Day 🍔🇺🇲, Sourest Day 🇺🇲, National Pumpkin Day 🎃🇬🇧

[rabbitcruiser]

National Greasy Foods Day

Deliciously satisfying bites with a hint of indulgence, these comfort eats are a guilty pleasure that never fails to hit the spot.

”Greasy food might not be good for your body, but it does wonders for the soul. A healthy diet may prolong your life, but what would you have to live for? What is the point of living to a hundred if you have to subsist on bland food? One may as well die of boredom.” ~ Jessica Zafra

The world is full of a veritable cavalcade of delicious foods, and the vast majority of them are filled to the brim with fats and grease! While those who are on a crusade for better health often find themselves avoiding these amazing foods in favor of a thinner waistline, Greasy Food Day encourages us to take a day off from that diet and remember the good things in life.

Otherwise, as Ms. Zafra says, what else are we living for?

On this day, it’s time to celebrate living for Greasy Food!

History of Greasy Food Day

These types of food certainly get a lot of hate from health fanatics, those delicious meals that make everyone’s mouths and souls sing out loud with joy. Granted, this day definitely wasn’t started by a doctor or nutritionist who was on a health food kick.

Whether talking about the rich stretchy cheese that graces the tops of people’s favorite pizza dishes, or the flavorful and delicious sub sandwiches that are shiny with grease as they are unwrapped, greasy foods can truly be said to be one of the greatest things in life. (That is, at least, while they are being eaten. For some people, that doesn’t necessarily hold true afterward when their stomachs are all tied up in knots.)

Now it is true that greasy food should be consumed in moderation, but sometimes moderation is a thing for the other 364 days out of a full year.

Greasy Food Day encourages everyone on earth to indulge in their favorite things and remember what it was like to truly be able to enjoy anything without consequence.

What’s your favorite greasy food? Juicy hamburgers? Hot dogs bursting with flavor? Sausage Rolls? Maybe some Canadian will enjoy the overwhelmingly flavorful and greasy dish that is poutine?

Whatever the chosen poison, Greasy Food Day is the perfect excuse to dive in and enjoy it like there’s no tomorrow. Get ready to celebrate with Greasy Food!

How to Celebrate Greasy Food Day

Enjoy a Greasy Food Meal

Go out to that special dive restaurant and order your favorite greasy dishes, and don’t forget to bring some napkins! Sometimes nicknamed a “Greasy Spoon” these restaurants are all about cooking with the tastiest of fats. Almost everything is deep-fried in oil until deliciously crisp, and often dripping with grease.

Whether french fries, onion rings or a greasy slice of pizza, this day is all about enjoying the drip. So pop into that restaurant and order up all the things that would normally be on the list of “no-nos”.

Enjoy the Greasiest American Foods

This day is all about paying heed to greasy foods. But even among them, some are greasier than others. Try out these ideas for how to bag the absolutely greasiest foods that American Culture has to offer:

Philly Cheesesteak. Cooked properly, this sandwich will require not only a pile of napkins but also perhaps a bib in order to eat it without getting extremely messy. Beef steak, chopped and cooked over a grill is made even greasier with the addition of cheese and onions.

Buffalo Wings. Named after the city in New York in which they began, these chicken wings are dipped in batter and deep fried before being coated in a buttery hot sauce. Finish it off with a dip in some blue cheese or ranch dressing.

Cheese Curds. How to take cheese and make it fattier? Deep fry it! A Wisconsin favorite (perhaps due to its dairy production) these little balls of cheese are dipped in batter and then, of course, deep fried to perfection. For an Italian twist on this northern favorite, try fried Mozzarella sticks.

Watch One (or Both) of the Grease Films

In keeping with the theme of the day, while downing those greasy foods, why not take in the guilty pleasure of watching one of these Grease themed films?

Grease (1978). This American musical romantic comedy film starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John is what drove the careers of these two to the top. Based on the 1971 stage musical of the same name, this story of two young high schoolers who fell in love has been a hit for generations.

Grease 2 (1982). Quite a bit less popular than the first (possibly due to the absence of Newton-John and Travolta), this followup film didn’t score well at the box office. It was okay for Michelle Pfeiffer, however, and her career moved forward because of this.

Make Some Greasy Food at Home

Is your favorite greasy food a family recipe? Alright then! It’s time to get the family together and celebrate Greasy Food Day with a rich dish that is steeped in tradition. And be sure to pass that on to the kids so they can continue the celebration once you’re gone. Rich greasy food is often a comfort food for many people, so don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve a bit of comfort. In fact, get as comfortable as you like on Greasy Food Day!

Source

[ami-ven]

Happy National Greasy Foods Day!

[nationaldaycalendar]

October 25, 2022 - NATIONAL MERRI MUSIC DAY - SOUREST DAY – NATIONAL GREASY FOODS DAY – CHUCKY, THE NOTORIOUS KILLER DOLL DAY

October 25, 2022 – NATIONAL MERRI MUSIC DAY – SOUREST DAY – NATIONAL GREASY FOODS DAY – CHUCKY, THE NOTORIOUS KILLER DOLL DAY

OCTOBER 25, 2022 | NATIONAL MERRI MUSIC DAY | SOUREST DAY | NATIONAL GREASY FOODS DAY | CHUCKY, THE NOTORIOUS KILLER DOLL DAY NATIONAL MERRI MUSIC DAY | October 25 October 25 celebrates National Merri Music Day to honor an innovative sound system and a music concept that began post-World War II in Jamaica. Read more… SOUREST DAY | OCTOBER 25 Sourest Day follows on the heels of Sweetest Day.…

[justanotherrpmeme]

Hangover starters

"Ugh, my head is pounding. I shouldn't have had that last drink."

"I feel like a train wreck. How are we going to survive today?"

"Why did we think it was a good idea to drink so much last night?"

"I can barely remember anything. My liver is definitely not happy with me."

"I need a gallon of coffee to survive this day."

"Coffee won't be enough. We need a miracle cure for this hangover."

"I can't believe we have to be functional human beings today."

"We're in for a rough ride. Maybe we can blame it on bad sushi or something."

"I can't even look at food right now. The thought of it makes me nauseous."

"I never want to see another drink or greasy food for the rest of my life."

"Do you remember anything we did last night?"

"I hope we didn't embarrass ourselves too much."

"I swear, I'm never drinking again."

"We need some serious self-control."

"Is it possible to die from a hangover?"

"Let's just survive the day and promise ourselves we'll never do this again."

"I can't believe we have responsibilities today. I just want to crawl back into bed."

"We should have stuck to our 'one drink' rule."

"We never learn. Now we're paying the price."

"I feel like I've aged 10 years overnight."

"Do you think anyone can smell the alcohol on us?"

"I can't believe we thought shots were a good idea."

[text]: Ugh, my head is killing me. Did we really have that many shots last night?

[text]: Can we declare today a national holiday for hungover people? I need to recover ASAP.

[text]: I feel like a zombie right now. Any chance you can bring me some coffee and a big plate of greasy food?

[text]: Remember when we thought that last round of tequila shots was a good idea? My liver definitely regrets it.

[text]: I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk. How did we even end up at that karaoke bar?

[text]: Is it too early to start counting down the hours until it's acceptable to take a nap?

[text]: I just saw a picture from last night. Who let us dance on the tables?

[text]: I'm convinced that hangovers were invented to punish us for having fun.

[text]: The sound of a doorbell right now feels like an explosion in my head. Please be quiet!

[text]: I'm contemplating crawling to the fridge, but I'm not sure I have the energy. Send help!

[text]: Water, Advil, and a dark room are the holy trinity of hangover remedies. I'm practicing all three right now.

[text]: If I could choose any superpower right now, it would be the ability to rewind time and undo last night's mistakes.

[text]: My dignity is still recovering.

[text]: Can we make a pact never to touch alcohol again? At least until the next weekend.

[text]: I've never appreciated a good slice of pizza more than I do in this very moment. It's the ultimate hangover cure.

[text]: The sunlight is my sworn enemy right now. It's like a thousand daggers piercing through my eyelids.

[whitefireprincess]

National Greasy Food Day - 10/25 | Boston Burger Company

[smellydano]

Hiii! I'm back again with one request! This time with our favorite greasy boy Brian Wilcox from Fast Food Nation!

So I was thinking about Brian gets off of work sooner than the other days and lovely reader (afab and female) goes to pick him up to go for a drink or something but Brian as the Pervy boy he is just wants to have sex with reader and relieve all of his stress, so they ended doing in the car on a lonely alley or street.

(Also I would love so much if Brian is into spanking and you know like super pervy hehe, and one last thing! Reader can be hyper feminine (yes, again, sorry:c) and shy? Thank you!💟💟💟) -🧸

late night drive || brian wilcox

sorry this literally took forever ,, i loved this request so i tried to tweak and edit it as much as i could LOL

warnings: unprotected sex, mdni, car sex, spanking, lmk if i should add more !!

synopsis: after picking up brian for a drive after work, he has something in mind.

word count: 1231

you pull your car into the parking lot of mickey’s, watching as him and another coworker lock up for the night. brian has gotten used to working the shitty closing shifts from being in college, but nights like these really made him wish he’d quit this stupid job. it’s been non-stop asshole after asshole, according to brian as he hopped into the passenger seat of your car. He’d already had his mickey’s uniform shoved into his backpack, wearing his usual black tee, jeans and zip-up hoodie, one you’ve stolen on many occasions.

“i’m just so done, with all of that.” he grumbled as he gestured his middle finger towards the building as you drove by. you chuckled as you kept driving down the crowded street. He tossed his backpack into the backseat of your car. You quietly drove away from town as brian’s hand trailed up your thigh, carefully touching your pink plaid skirt. You knew it drove him crazy, especially when you paired it with your tight-fitting white crop top, perfectly displaying your tits.

“did you want to grab a drink or something? my treat.” you questioned, looking over at him. brian grew a smirk, gripping your thigh once more.

“i was thinking, maybe we do something else?” you knew what he wanted, but you weren’t going to let him have it so easy.

“what else did you have in mind, bry?” his tense shoulder shift down as he heard the nickname you always called him, he’s a sucker for it and any pet name you give him. it makes him love you even more.

“drive to our usual spot.” he said without another word, and you followed his orders. you and brian had a specific spot down by a nearby lake you’d usually park at, in the warmer months you go swimming and hang out under a tree, and in the colder months you gather in the backseat of whoever’s car you take.

as soon as you get to lake, you put the car in park and turn over to him. he immediately pulls you in for a heated kiss. you moaned out of shock, placing your hand on his knee. “turn off the car and get in the back.” he breathed out, you nodded and followed his orders, quickly climbing into the backseat. he chuckled as he got out of the car and opened the back door. he tossed his bag up to the front seat, to make more room.

“you come pick me up and tease me like this? in the skirt you know i love, and your tits, holy fuck.” he was overwhelmed with lust, as well as love, but in this moment, it’s all lust. he grabbed your boobs roughly, lowering your top and twisting your taut nipples around. you whined into his ear, muffling them to stay quiet. “i want to hear you, babe. every noise you make.”

“perv.” you snickered, running your hands around his waist. you pulled yourself closer towards him, climbing into his lap. as if it was a normal position, his hands swiftly wrap around your waist. you ran your fingers through his dark hair, tugging slightly as his face went to your neck. he nipped at your skin, he loves to leave bites all across your body, but his favourite was your neck. so soft, so pretty with the marks against it.

“please bry, i need you.” you whined again, without missing a beat, he lifted your skirt up and slid your panties to the side. you rubbed yourself onto his groin, the feeling of his hard cock pressed against the rough denim of his jeans was breathtaking. you continued rutting your hips against him, moaning out into his shoulder. he grabbed your hips roughly and helped you move.

brian couldn’t take the teasing anymore, he needed to be inside you. he lifted his hips as you lifted your body as well, making it easier to slip his pants down to his knees. you watched as he pumped himself a few times before placing his hand up to your mouth. “spit.” he demanded. you looked into his eyes and spit in his hand.

“god, fuck you’re so hot.” he said as he watched the spit trail from your lips, he gripped his cock and pumped it, letting you back onto his lap. with his other hand, he gently toyed with your clit. “you’re so wet, i wanna fuck you right now.” he groaned as he made sure your thong was pushed to the side. he guided his tip against your hole, you sank onto him like it was second nature. he gave you time to adjust to his size, then you slowly started bouncing. brian was a grunting, moaning mess underneath you. he gripped your hips as his met yours, slamming into you at a quick pace. he gathers your skirt up in his hand, then lays a couple harsh spanks on your ass.

you squealed, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. his thrusts bounced the car, thankfully, no one ever comes to this lake. especially in the colder months.

you muffled as many moans and cries as you could into his neck, you didn’t like being super loud during sex, and brian knows exactly how to make you feel good. so, needless to say, you need to keep it toned down. plus, you were always shy when it came to sex. you were pulled from your thoughts when brian pulled on your hair, lifting your head.

“i want to hear you.” he demanded. he started leaving bites and hickies across your neck and collarbones, you couldn’t help but let out a loud moan. your cheeks turned red with embarrassment, but your moans made him go faster. he says another harsh slap on your ass before gripping it roughly. “fuck, you have a nice ass.”

he kept spanking you, making you cry out for longer. you felt the burning in your stomach start to get closer, grabbing brian’s shoulders so hard, little crescents from your nails left imprints. “bry, please i-i think i’m gonna cum.”

“do it, babe. cum on my cock.”

his words immediately triggered your orgasm, your cunt squeezing his cock as you rode out your high. his thrusts kept going until they became sloppier, cumming inside you. you felt the warm ropes cost your insides, making you shudder.

you pulled yourself off his cock, the feeling of his cum spilling out of your cunt making your eyes roll back. you say yourself on his lap as he grabbed the clean hand towel you keep in the car for this moment. he cleaned both of you up, then you flipped over to the other seat in the back. you caught your breath before scooting over to brian, cuddling into him instantly.

he smiled and wrapped an arm around you, placing a kiss on your head. “we should probably head back to your place. i want to go to bed.” he whispered against your ear, laying his head on your shoulder. you nodded, both of you started getting dressed and cleaning up the backseat. you both get into the front of the car and made your way to your place, brian yawning in the passenger seat. you soon made it to your place, the night ended in a bunch of cuddles and kisses.

——

this came out different than i meant it to,, but i don’t hate it ,, i hope u liked it anon :3

ty for reading :3 requests always open ,, likes/reblogs and comments are always appreciated!! :D

[deadpatrol]

Happy valentines day! Have a saal!beeduo snippet from knack ch5:

“Ranboooo…” Tubbo whines plaintively, and when Ranboo’s shoulders hitch around his ears, his eyes stay caught looking down at his own hands. Tubbo huffs and tells him matter-of-fact, “You’re not helping.”

“I’m—?” Ranboo stutters, confused, but sounding more curious than bothered. “Sorry?”

“Talk to me, Ranboo.” Tubbo rolls his shoulders, tension shifting back and forth between them like a weight. “I’m all jumpy. Be distracting.”

“Oh. Oh! Uh, yeah, sure!” Ranboo is quick to agree, always relieved to be helpful. “What do you want to talk about?”

Ranboo’s eyes flick up, just once — just to graze against Tubbo’s hands. Tubbo closes his fingers into a fist, like he could catch Ranboo’s attention in the palm of his hand. But Ranboo’s gaze slips away, like water between his fingers.

Ranboo wrings his hands and watches them like the most interesting thing in the world, his voice pitching with sudden nerves. “There’s— um. We could talk about anything, really!”

From the nervous, anticipatory way Ranboo curls his spine in on himself, from the way Ranboo won’t meet Tubbo’s eyes, from the way Ranboo hasn’t said a real word to him since the night on Technoblade’s couch, Tubbo knows. Tubbo knows what Ranboo desperately wants to talk about — what Ranboo would sooner and rather die of anxiety than talk about.

Husbands.

The devil called you his husband.

“I think we’re being followed.” Tubbo tells Ranboo, because admitting to paranoid delusions seems significantly less vulnerable than the only other thing consuming his thoughts at the moment. “Stalked by a real wrongun.”

“You think so?” Ranboo tips his head, and Tubbo considers him successfully distracted.

“Yeah.” Tubbo grumbles, shoving a french fry into his mouth. “’M going a little bit nuts, I reckon.”

“Well, I mean,” Ranboo says in his low, serious tone, which means he’s about to be far more reasonable and sympathetic than Tubbo’s wallowing would appreciate. “If anyone is getting stalked, I think the guy with the sword is best equipped to handle it. So…”

Tubbo nods, absolutely certain in this confidence. Tubbo takes a bite of his greasy fast food burger, and through his mouthful he states, “Yeah, I’ll slice ‘em up.”

Ranboo laughs, muffled in the way where he finds it funny but he is worried that he shouldn’t. “Tubbo.”

Tubbo grins, and husbands rests behind his teeth, tasting like a lie.

Tubbo takes a bite of his burger, and it tastes like an echo. It tastes like a chair rolling down a hill, wood splintering itself against gravel and dirt. It tastes like envy for the freezing spring breeze sailing across an invisible border, country lines drawn in red on maps, intangible and uncrossable. It tastes like risking a theory on a 50/50 chance, and being dead wrong.

And then there’s a snap.

A moment like clarity.

A moment that rings in Tubbo’s head — echoing what am I doing here?

The silence stretches a tick — then two. The longer Tubbo looks at Ranboo, the less he recognizes him.

Ranboo’s— his nails are blunt and short and pink against the sticky table, and when he smiles he doesn’t bother to hide his teeth, and when his eyes meet Tubbo’s, Tubbo is the one to look away.

Husbands sits locked behind Tubbo’s teeth, leaking bitter across his tongue and pooling into the crevices of his mouth.

Tubbo takes a bite of his burger, but it doesn’t taste like much at all. So Tubbo gingerly sets the burger back down into the basket of wax paper. And Tubbo has to curl his fingers into his palms.

What. Is he doing.

Suddenly, the freezing spring breeze blows across the invisible border of some forgotten nation, and Tubbo realizes with an ache in his jaw that—

He is alone.

What does he think he’s going to gain from this— all this pretending? He’s been convincing himself of a lie, letting himself believe it. Because it hurts less that way.

But that’s all it is. A lie.

This is not Ranboo.

This is not his Tommy, or his Wilbur, or his world.

Tubbo is alone.

“Is the food okay?” Ranboo asks, his hands wringing in little circles of orbit around each other, clutched nervously in front of him. “I didn’t really know what you liked, so I—”

“You don’t know me at all,” The words spill out of Tubbo’s mouth, clumsy and pulled taught along his vocal cords. Then, again, like a correction, Tubbo asks, with a messy edge of desperation and hope, “You don’t know me at all?”

“Uh,” Ranboo fumbles, caught off guard. His hands slip free from their tangled knots and still, uncertain.

A wave of something burning hot and sharp goes through Tubbo, settling into his limbs and lingering there. Tubbo curls his fingers tighter into his palms, nails digging into his skin like a reminder, like reassurance, like certainty.

“You don’t know me at all,” Tubbo says one last time, firmly. It almost sounds like an accusation, but the only thing his tone is directed at is Tubbo’s own delusions.

Tubbo looks at Ranboo — his name isn't even Ranboo — with mismatched brown-blue eyes caught wide and off-kilter. His eyes are wrong. Not wrong, different. Belonging to a different person. A stranger. Fuck. Tubbo’s been sitting across the table from a stranger, hasn’t he?

What is Tubbo doing?

“I’d like to.” With a sudden burst of conviction, Ranboo leans forward across the table, across the gap, dangerously close to an invisible border that cannot be crossed. His brown-blue eyes look like earnestly, but Tubbo doesn’t know them at all. Ranboo hesitates, and longer Tubbo looks at him, second-guessing himself. “To— to know you, I mean. I’d like that. To, um, get to know you.”

“You’re insane,” Tubbo mutters, disbelievingly and just a touch helplessly fond.

Ranboo’s steady conviction breaks into the curve of a small smile, and he laughs like he’s inviting Tubbo in to the joke. “Yeah, probably. Might be! Might be.”

Tubbo shakes his head at Ranboo’s absurdity. He—

He doesn’t know what to do.

He… should probably leave.

Just get up and go.

Tubbo shouldn’t be here.

The realization laps over him like a rising tide in the freezing bay. He really shouldn’t be here, and he knows it.

Tubbo scans the food court, and his eyes linger on the exits.

He… probably needs to go. It would be easy enough to slip away through the crowd, out to the parking lot, let his feet carry him away. It would be for the best, probably, for Tubbo to walk away, out of the lives of these strangers he’s taken as his own. But—

But.

But.

“Tell me something,” Ranboo says quietly, light and hopeful and far too earnest for his own good. Tubbo’s gaze is drawn back to him. Ranboo has his eyes down on his basket of food, a french fry between his fingers dipping into a little puddle of ketchup. Ranboo’s nervous eyes are on the small french fry in his hand, but his attention is all on Tubbo. “Just— anything. And then I’ll tell you something. Or, I can go first, if you want.”

Tubbo—

Well.

He probably needs to leave, to go before he makes things worse. And that’s exactly what he’s been doing, when he pushes through his own stubborn bullshit enough to admit it. He’s disrupting the lives of strangers for his own selfish desires.

But Tubbo can’t leave. Ranboo asked him a question. Ranboo wants him here. And Tubbo will be with Ranboo for as long as Ranboo wants him.

It’s too late, now. Ranboo cares about him, in some strange way. Stupid, reckless, earnest, trusting, Ranboo has gone and gotten invested in this stranger across the table. The damage is already done. So Tubbo forces himself to sit still, and quietly picks up his burger. He takes a bite and chews slowly as he thinks.

“This is a bad idea,” Tubbo mutters, and then stuffs his mouth with greasy burger like that could stop the words from pouring out of him. “Truly awful.”

Ranboo smiles, and it’s lopsided and weak and he doesn’t bother to hide his teeth. “Trust me?”

Tubbo doesn't know how to answer that.

Instead, Tubbo opens his mouth and mutters into the silent bubble here, encased in the noise and bustle of the food court. “I used to work at a burger restaurant, you know.”

Tubbo bites back the hot rush of spikes in his blood that scream he doesn’t know. He wasn’t there. He doesn’t know. He didn’t hold your hand over an invisible border that you couldn’t cross.

The Ranboo that Tubbo loved is dead and gone.

Tubbo’s husband is dead.

The stranger says, “Oh? That’s cool. How’d you like it?” And he smiles like a stolen sunrise.

[zukkaart]

I would love to see MaiLee “I…I am barely holding on”

Happy to oblige (the first thing that popped in to my head was "You're losing me" by my girl T-Swift sooooo if you wanted this to be happy you should have said that....anyway

Couple #6: Mailee Prompt #17

For the prompt game!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The travelling circus, Ty Lee is headlining as they pass through Caldera city

"Ty Lee! You're on in ten!" One of the stage hands shouted from outside her dressing room as she secured her headress. "Thank you! I'll be out there in two!" Ty Lee called back in her typical bubbly tone. He gave her door one quick rap in acknowledgement as he left.

"It's okay, you can do this," The young girl said to herself as she stared in to the mirror. Someone she barely recognized looked back at her. She was 19 now, but the cold of the war refused to leave her bones. She understood that there was no way to make up for the harm she had caused. She had tried for years with the Kiyoshi warriors.

She tried to help fight, but the war was over. She tried to help in reconstruction, but she was no architect. She tried to help Katara heal, but she was no doctor. After trying and failing so many times she decided to take a break, and it's been a little over a year since she returned to the circus. She was content here, she couldn't erase what she had done, but at least she could bring joy to any one who came to see her. Most days... that was enough.

Suddenly, another knock came at her door. "I said I'd be right out," She said simply, standing to head towards the door.

Before she could though, it swung open. "Mai!" She cheered happily, throwing her arms around the taller girl, who awkwardly patted her back in acknowledgement, "I'm so glad you're here! Did you come to see the show?"

"Ty Lee, you know I don't like this stuff. I hate animals and greasy food and crowds of people," Ty Lee's smile faltered, but only for a moment before asking, "Then why are you here?" "I came to see you genius," Mai deadpanned back, and a genuine smile creeped up the acrobats features,

"Oh, you'll love it! I go on first so you can leave right after! You won't have to see anything you don't want to!" "Right..." Mai trailed off, sweeping her hand slightly across the surface of her vanity "Something wrong? Do you need help?" The dark-haired one scoffed at that.

"Help? Did you seriously just ask me if I need help?" Ty Lee was so shocked by her words that she didn't respond, so Mai continued, "I needed your help, Azula needed your help," It was Ty Lee's turn to scoff. "There was nothing I could have done for Azula, there was nothing I could do for anyone! I tried, and tried, and failed. So you don't get to come in here and act like I've committed some crime," She was fuming now.

"We were all trying Ty Lee, you're the only one who left," Mai stated, as deadpan and matter-of-fact as always. It was absolutely infuriating. "No." She didn't have to take this, "I did everything I could in those first years, but no one needed me! You certainly didn't. I felt useless, abandoned by everyone. This is the only place where I felt wanted, I'm doing my best. So if you need help. Ask. If not then get out!" The candle on her vanity flickered to signal her cue. Without another word she shoved past Mai and out on to the high beam.

~~~

She landed with perfect grace, the crowd went wild. She tossed them an award winning smile before cartwheeling off stage.

Ty Lee let out a heavy sigh. She felt a little guilty about telling Mai to leave, after all she hadn't seen her in years. That didn't mean she was wrong though. The only person Mai ever acted like she cared about was Zuko. That was arguably another reason why Ty Lee left the Fire Nation in the first place. It was one thing struggling to feel needed- everyone felt displaced in those days- but watching the woman she loved be printed on every newspaper next to someone else? That was a different kind of hell.

Of course, it wasn't the publishers fault, it wasn't anyone's really. They were a smart match, and their people needed something simple to be happy about. Ty Lee was happy for them- she was- but that didn't make it hurt any less.

She collapsed on to her bed a few moments later, costume and makeup still on, her headdress discarded on the floor. She began to cry. Her place of sanctuary had once again been ripped from her and replaced with cold reality in the form of Mai. She didn't understand why Mai had come, she only wished that she had come back.

"Oh Agni, should I come back later?" That familiar bored tone came from her now open doorway, "What's this all about?"

"Mai" She shot straight up with a light sob. Mai let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, but still sat next to her. "I...I am barely holding on," Tears began to roll in a steady stream down her face despite her internal protests. Her throat and chest felt tight, her head was spinning. Unsurprisingly- Mai said nothing, but she continued. "Every one of our friends has a place they belong, or at the very least someone to lean on at the end of the day. I don't have any of that. I'm meeting back up with the warriors at the end of next month, but it's just going to remind me how useless I am," Her sobs slowly turned in to light sniffles, "Well, aren't you going to say anything?" She straightened and met her friends eyes.

"What's there to say?" Mai let herself fall back, and tucked her hands beneath her head. "You said you felt useless, who am I to tell you you're wrong? I only came here to tell you Zuko and I broke up, not to get an invite to your little pity party" She heaved a sigh

Ty Lee knew she should have been mad, but the middle of the other woman's statement caught her too off guard. "You and Zuko? What happened?" Mai only shrugged, "Are you okay?"

"I'm always okay," Mai stared blankly at the ceiling. Ty Lee knew that look, either Mai was pondering something, or there was something deeply wrong. She hoped it was just the former.

Ty Lee opened her mouth to ask, but Mai spoke again before she could. "Come back to the Palace with me," "What?" Ty Lee leaned over her, braid falling over her shoulder on to the bed beside Mai's head. "Why?"

Mai heaved yet another long sigh, "Because I miss you Ty, and I could use someone around the palace to help me. The Kyoshi warriors made me their contact since you've been gone but apparently I'm 'abrasive' " Mai added air quotes to her last word which caused Ty Lee to giggle.

"Okay," She smiled "Let me pack my things," She stood from the bed in one graceful motion "What? Just like that?" Mai sat up "Yeah!" She paused, "Unless you weren't being serious..." "I was being serious, but don't you have to stay? Finish the show?"

Ty Lee giggled, placing the tips of her fingers on her lips. "Mai, I'd do anything for you,"

Mai shot her an utterly confused look. "Why?" Ty Lee was the one who rolled her eyes that time

"When have I not?" Now that was a question Mai hadn't been expecting to ponder today, but she did. When hadn't Ty Lee been there for her? She had always backed her in fights, gone with her instead of Azula when they split up, even committed treason for her at the Boiling Rock. Now that she was thinking about it, Mai couldn't remember one time when Ty Lee had forsaken her for someone else. How could she have been so blind?

Coming back to reality, she found Ty lee's bright eyes fixed on hers. "All this time?" She asked quietly,

"Oh Mai..." She strode over and dropped to her knees so they were almost eye to eye. "You're the exact opposite of me in every way. Where I'm kind you're cruel, where I flirt you're stern. The spirits made us to oppose each other in every way. If we hadn't had Azula, I'm sure we would have been nothing short of enemies."

A breath of silence, Ty Lee tilted her chin up so they were staring in to each others eyes,

"Who else was I supposed to fall in love with?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hehehe I tricked you and gave you a happy ending. I hope you enjoyed! Much love xoxo

[always-andromeda]

“Fast food nation” is not really worth it, trust me. It’s… weird (not in an interesting way). There are Brian scene-packs on youtube that cover all the interesting parts. I mean, it still got me hooked on the character, but only because nasty-oily-Dano is my favourite Dano. My ex boyfriend used to work at McDonald’s, so maybe it’s a real-life-event-turned-into-fiction-kink?

Thanks for the quick answer! If you can’t bite the bullet, I’ll feed it to you: “La Belle Fluer Sauvage” (your choice, free your filthy mind, you always hit the checkpoint), Brian Wilcox.

Again, congrats congrats congrats!

Author's Note | Anon. I am gonna need to thank you but also strangle you for this request /j. I have tried so hard to keep requests simple and sweet for my sanity but I literally could not with this one. This shit is just over 2,300 words and I am not about it. Jesus Christ almighty, I went fucking buck wild here. 🤭 also. i got three requests for Brian. so I made them into like a mini trilogy. this is part two of that trilogy. next part will be out in an hour!!

Warnings | smut (MDNI), unprotected sex, sexual tension, Brian is a gross little greasy freak!!

You waste away your summer job at Mickey's like each day is just another everlasting big burger, all held together with plastic cheese and crammed in a box that's way too small. Meaning, it's all artificial. It's all disgusting and temporary and all a product of capitalism or some shit. That's how you describe yours and Brian's relationship.

His kisses are laced with salt and whatever flavor of energy drink he's fixated on at the moment. You would ask him to remember to brush his teeth in the mornings, but you doubt he'd actually do it. He doesn't like you nearly enough to actually take that into consideration for his morning routine. That's to say he even likes you at all.

Because you rarely get the idea that he does. You get the sense that he likes you as long as you kiss him back when he joins you in the walk-in freezer. As long as you laugh when he makes some corny joke about warming you up. Though nothing has ever gone further than quick makeouts and over the clothes action, you suspect that he wouldn't have any qualms with pulling his dick out right in front of the frozen burger patties.

But as soon as he crosses the imaginary line you've set for yourself, you're humming into his mouth, telling him you're getting cold, and that you don't want Tony to catch you. Then Brian makes some quip about how he thinks it would be fantastic, actually, if Mickey's employee of the month was caught in the walk-in with Mickey's worst employee of every month. You giggle sparingly, hoping that doesn't give him the wrong idea.

Because you want what he wants: fun. At least you hope that's what he wants too. Just a reprieve from the hell that is service work that isn't talking shit about Tony in the break room. And you have to admit, getting Brian flustered with a heated kiss is a bit more of a productive usage of your time.

Which is exactly why you avoid him on this day. Because the last time you made out with him in the walk in, you swear you felt him pop a boner. And you'd drawn your line at much less before. So the second you felt him bulging through his baggy pants and pressing against your abdomen, you were out of there.

Three days later, he's staring at you from inside the kitchen as if you're still blue balling him from where you work the cash register. He averts his eyes when you turn to read him the next order. But you know that when you greet another customer with a chipper, 'Hi, welcome to Mickey's! What can I get for you today?' he's right back to burning holes into the back of your head with his dark eyes.

You try your best to ignore him. Like he's some nightmare you had. Yet, just like a fever dream, he doesn't quite go away. He's right at the edge of your vision, flipping burgers with a bored expression. At least he always smiled when he kissed you. Well...he smirked. And it was annoyingly smug. Whatever. It was still better than the indifference he pretends to embody.

I know your secret, Brian Wilcox. With the pungent fumes of stale oil and a touch of mildew, you popped a boner in the walk-in freezer. Because you kissed me.

The thought liberates you until you clock out for the night. You walk to your car, keys laced between your fingers like your mother had taught you years ago. So when Brian grabs your wrist as you reach for your car door, you whip around, ready to hit him directly in the gut.

"Hey, hey, hey, Jesus--" Brian yells, dropping your wrist quickly and lunging away from your swinging fist, "It's just me...Jesus fucking Christ...were you trying to kill me?"

You hiss, "Were you trying to act like a fucking creep? Fuck, Brian-- It's late. What are you still doing here?" Hand over your chest, your shoulders slump and you eye him wearily, waiting for his excuse.

He doesn't bother apologizing. Just looks at you with his brow furrowed and says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, "I wanted to talk to you."

"About?"

"The other day..."

You sigh and wave him off, "I don't give a shit if Jason steals my chips from the break room, he can go ahead and have them--"

Of course Brian doesn't let you get away that easily, "Oh, fuck off with that. You know what I'm talking about."

"Do we really have to talk about it?"

"I think it's a good idea," he argues.

"Yeah, what a great idea. I kissed you and you're such a pussy that you got hard over it. So glad that I got to relive that. Thanks, Bri." you prepare to turn away from him when he catches your wrist once more.

"That's it?" he searches for an answer you don't want to give. "So...I'm guessing you...didn't like it?"

You snort and your reply comes out less sarcastic than you would've liked, "Oh, I absolutely loved it. When I applied here, I was just praying to get groped by some greasy asshole who can't keep it in his pants."

Brian snickers at your weak tone, "I bet you were."

"Excuse me?"

"Tell me you weren't and I'll leave you alone." he challenged you in a low, even voice that scares the shit out of you. Only it's not because he looms over you, daring you to prove him wrong. It's more the thought of working another day at this fucking restaurant without having his body and quick tongue to get you through it that startles you.

You go deadly silent, opting to stare down at where yours and his rubber soled shoes touch the asphalt.

"That's what I thought." Finally, he seems to understand how hard this is for you to admit to him.

Brian takes a deep breath and tries again, "I didn't think you'd want me either. If that makes you feel any better."

You answer quickly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so…mean.”

"Yes, you did." he insists, "But so did I."

You make tight fists with your hands, pressing your nails into your palms. Sniffing, you ask, "What are we gonna do now?"

Brian kicks one of his feet, tapping the tip of his shoe against yours. "Well...either we can drive home...separately. Or...maybe I could show you the backseat of my car."

A genuine laugh rips from your chest, "Jesus, Brian. Can you not act like you're gonna fucking murder me? If you want to mess around in your car, could you just ask like a normal person?"

His attitude floods his tone ferociously, "Fine, do you wanna fuck me in my backseat?"

The way your clit throbs at that makes you bite the inside of your cheek so hard you taste a tinge of copper. You try not to breathe when you say nonchalantly, "Yeah, sure."

Brian turns, walking a few steps to his car, parked two spaces down from yours. He opens the back passenger side for you in some fucked up, gentlemanly gesture.

"After you," he tilts his head towards the interior and you crawl in, immediately turning to lie on your back on the leather upholstery. When Brian joins you, he barely has enough space in the cramped backseat to perch between your legs. He keeps one hand on the back headrest and the other on the edge of the seat bracing himself there.

Brian hovers over you. That crooked smirk you liked so much is plastered across his pink face as he works at the buttons of your uniform, exposing your bare chest so fast that your skin forgets the feeling of the cool summer air from outside. Your chest rises and falls shallowly with your nervous breath.

Brian says slowly, "I hope you know...I really like it when you forget to put on a bra before coming to work. It's really fucking hot."

"It's not like I do it for your sake," you squeak out a pathetic attempt at a comeback.

"Never said you did, princess."

Oh. Fuck. Right. Off.

He leans in, eyes flickering from yours down to your swollen lips, "Are you gonna keep being snippy? Or are we gonna fuck?"

Please.

You nod fervently and reach for the collar of his uniform.

Brian simply moves back, dodging your grasp, "Come on, princess. I want you to say it. Or else I won't hesitate to leave your stubborn ass back here."

A mixture of anger and embarrassment mixing to form a flush on your cheeks and the tips of your ears, you crane your neck and finally grab his collar, bringing his lips back to yours, "Just fuck me, you asshole."

With a satisfied grin, Brian's lips mold against yours. His mouth open and tongue swiping across yours, you're just as breathless as you are in the walk in. But with his busted air conditioner and the atmosphere of the backseat dampening, not even your unbuttoned shirt could offer any relief from the heat.

Brian pulls away and studies you as you try to catch your breath. Moments pass and he shifts slightly, hovering over your chest. You watch him press his lips together and push out a fat glob of saliva from between them. The spit lands with a wet plop between your tits and you scoff at the humored expression on his face.

That's all before he ducks in again, this time to lick a long stripe up your chest, gathering the saliva on his tongue before wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and sucking. The high pitched moan you let out takes you by surprise as he switches to giving the other attention with a jarringly gentle kiss. He looks up at you through his dark hair with devious eyes. Then the hand bracing itself on the edge of the seat flies to the belt that holds up his pants under the loose fitting uniform.

Brian pulls down his pants and boxers just enough to poke out his solid cock, the tip practically pulsing and purple. He helps you take off your own bottoms, banging his head on the ceiling of his car in the process.

He winces and rubs at the back of his head, "Shit—"

The laugh you let out is cut off sharply when he presses his lips to yours again just to shut you up. But he doesn't just want to stifle your teasing. He also stifles your yelp as he slides himself into your wet cunt, leaving no room for adjustment or romance. He simply fills you out and groans as you tremble and tighten around him.

His lips falter in covering yours and you taste the sweat forming on his upper lip as he struggles to breathe out another moan.

No matter how many pretty sounds he makes for you as you struggle to take all of him without nearly choking on your own dwindling air supply, you tell yourself one thing. Remember, he doesn't actually like you. He likes your mouth and he likes your tits and he likes your pussy. Not. You.

Once he starts moving, you repeat it in your head over and over again every time his skin slaps against yours lewdly.

He doesn't like you. He doesn't like you. He doesn't like you.

You try to picture yourself twenty years from now. A born again Christian soccer mom with four kids, a minivan, and a husband who thinks women can't possibly have orgasms. You imagine a future where Brian is just a bad memory that you tell your friends over wine. That he's the reason why you'd tell your shitty husband to nip at your neck in bed or maybe try a new position. Because when Brian did it, it felt divine. And before you know it, you're circling back around to him.

Fuck. No matter how much rewiring you attempt, it goes back to Brian fucking Wilcox and you wish you could hate it.

You're entangling your fingers in his dark hair and pulling hard. His teeth bite a little deeper into your skin and you gasp at the sting.

"Jesus fucking Christ..." he curses loudly and you feel the full weight of every vulgar syllable reverberating in his throat.

He's good at this and he fucking knows it. You can tell by the way he chuckles slightly when you try to arch your back off of the leather backseat. All you want is to press more of your body against his. For some fucking reason, you need this summer fling to poison you worse than the preservatives Mickey's puts in their food does.

Already, you feel the good kind of chemicals coursing through your veins. Your uniform shirt rises up and the sweat clinging to your skin makes your lower back stick to the leather. And as soon as you peel yourself off of the seat and your chest meets his, you kiss him.

You make him swallow the sounds of arousal that come from deep inside you as his poison takes over all of your senses. Riding out the climax exerts all of your energy and leaves you gritting your teeth through overstimulation. You weakly attempt to clench around him for only a moment before Brian pulls out and jerks himself off a few more times with a tight fist.

Both sets of eyes blown out with lust, you and him watch as his cock twitches and then shoots thick ropes of cum that spill out over your chest, still practically glistening with the streaks his tongue left.

Thoroughly defiled and spent, you don't dare think of anything but his softening cock laying across your abdomen as he dips his head and catches his breath.

Voice now hoarse and thin, Brian says quietly, "Fuck man…I think— I think I really fucking like you..."

[murderousink23]

10/25/2022 is International Artist Day 🎨🌏, World Pasta Day 🍝🌏, Sovereignity Day 🇸🇮, Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day 🇺🇲, National Greasy Food Day 🍗 🇺🇲, Sourest Day 🍋 🇺🇲, National Pumpkin Day 🎃🇬🇧

[rabbitcruiser]

National Greasy Foods Day 

The world is full of a veritable cavalcade of delicious foods, and the vast majority of them are filled to the brim with fats and grease! While those who are on a crusade for better health often find themselves avoiding these amazing foods in favor of a thinner waistline, Greasy Food Day encourages us to take a day off from that diet and remember the good things in life.

Otherwise, as Ms. Jafra says, what else are we living for?

On this day, it’s time to celebrate living for Greasy Food!

History of Greasy Food Day

These types of food certainly get a lot of hate from health fanatics, those delicious meals that make everyone’s mouths and souls sing out loud with joy. Granted, this day definitely wasn’t started by a doctor or nutritionist who was on a health food kick.

Whether talking about the rich stretchy cheese that graces the tops of people’s favorite pizza dishes, or the flavorful and delicious sub sandwiches that are shiny with grease as they are unwrapped, greasy foods can truly be said to be one of the greatest things in life. (That is, at least, while they are being eaten. For some people, that doesn’t necessarily hold true afterward when their stomachs are all tied up in knots.)

Now it is true that greasy food should be consumed in moderation, but sometimes moderation is a thing for the other 364 days out of a full year.

Greasy Food Day encourages everyone on earth to indulge in their favorite things and remember what it was like to truly be able to enjoy anything without consequence.

What’s your favorite greasy food? Juicy hamburgers? Hot dogs bursting with flavor? Sausage Rolls? Maybe some Canadian will enjoy the overwhelmingly flavorful and greasy dish that is poutine?

Whatever the chosen poison, Greasy Food Day is the perfect excuse to dive in and enjoy it like there’s no tomorrow. Get ready to celebrate with Greasy Food!

How to Celebrate Greasy Food Day

Enjoy a Greasy Food Meal

Go out to that special dive restaurant and order your favorite greasy dishes, and don’t forget to bring some napkins! Sometimes nicknamed a “Greasy Spoon” these restaurants are all about cooking with the tastiest of fats. Almost everything is deep-fried in oil until deliciously crisp, and often dripping with grease.

Whether french fries, onion rings or a greasy slice of pizza, this day is all about enjoying the drip. So pop into that restaurant and order up all the things that would normally be on the list of “no-nos”.

Enjoy the Greasiest American Foods

This day is all about paying heed to greasy foods. But even among them, some are greasier than others. Try out these ideas for how to bag the absolutely greasiest foods that American Culture has to offer:

Philly Cheesesteak. Cooked properly, this sandwich will require not only a pile of napkins but also perhaps a bib in order to eat it without getting extremely messy. Beef steak, chopped and cooked over a grill is made even greasier with the addition of cheese and onions.

Buffalo Wings. Named after the city in New York in which they began, these chicken wings are dipped in batter and deep fried before being coated in a buttery hot sauce. Finish it off with a dip in some bleu cheese or ranch dressing.

Cheese Curds. How to take cheese and make it fattier? Deep fry it! A Wisconsin favorite (perhaps due to its dairy production) these little balls of cheese are dipped in batter and then, of course, deep fried to perfection. For an Italian twist on this northern favorite, try fried Mozzarella sticks.

Watch One (or Both) of the Grease Films

In keeping with the theme of the day, while downing those greasy foods, why not take in the guilty pleasure of watching one of these Grease themed films?

Grease (1978). This American musical romantic comedy film starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John is what drove the careers of these two to the top. Based on the 1971 stage musical of the same name, this story of two young high schoolers who fell in love has been a hit for generations.

Grease 2 (1982). Quite a bit less popular than the first (possibly due to the absence of Newton-John and Travolta), this followup film didn’t score well at the box office. It was okay for Michelle Pfeiffer, however, and her career moved forward because of this.

Make Some Greasy Food at Home

Is your favorite greasy food a family recipe? Alright then! It’s time to get the family together and celebrate Greasy Food Day with a rich dish that is steeped in tradition. And be sure to pass that on to the kids so they can continue the celebration once you’re gone. Rich greasy food is often a comfort food for many people, so don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve a bit of comfort. In fact, get as comfortable as you like on Greasy Food Day!

Source

[wiispywitch]

Attack on Titan OC - Elijah Kaufman 🗡️🩸🍺

♡.ToyHou.se | Instagram | AO3

{CW: Mentions of murder, alcoholism, spoilers for Attack on Titan}

~

Name: Elijah Kaufman

Meaning: Elijah- Yahweh is my God; Kaufman- merchant

Nickname(s): Eli, Uncle Eli (by the Schuyler kids), Old drunk (by Hange and Levi)

Alias (if any): Officer Kaufman, Alvin Cochran (his fake name he uses in the black market)

Age: 36

Gender: Male

Nationality: Eldian (German descent)

Birthday: September 17th, 814

Birthplace: Trost District, Wall Rose

Current Residence: Interior of Stohess, Wall Sina (location varies)

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Relationship Status: One-sided relations with Jacqueline Chapman

Language(s) spoken: Eldian

Life-Long Dream: To live the high life in wealth and completely forget the past

Goal(s): To keep his business in selling ODM-gear in the black market on top, to manipulate Nathanael and keep him on his side, to get rid of his completion, to avoid running into his moneylenders, to win Miriam’s heart, to forget about the past 

Like(s): Going out drinking and playing, hanging out at the bar with his buds, cigars, taking charge in leaderly roles, playing poker his way, Jacqueline giving him all of her attention, Miriam's baked goods, making a quick buck, hunting

Dislike(s): Being told how to do his job, strong sunlight, children, the wall cultists, his way of work being questioned, snitches, hangovers, backtalk, titans, the Scout Regiment, Dawson

Bad Habit(s): Abuses his position in power, compulsive liar, heavy drinker, gambler, quick to anger, makes promises he can’t keep, bad with money

Hobbies: Going out drinking with his comrades, picking up women, gambling

Fear(s): Dawson’s “ghost” coming back for revenge, mob bosses coming after him for payment, abnormal titans, death

Personality: Manipulative, paranoid, narcissistic, cowardly, opportunistic, charming, greedy, confident, persuasive 

Favorites(not necessary)-

Food(s): Sunflower seeds, deer meat

Color(s): Maroon 

Season(s): Autumn

Activities: Playing poker, hunting

Time of Day: Night time

Extras: Animals- deer; Drink- whiskey 

Appearance-

Height: 6’1” (185 cm)

Weight: 203 lbs. (93 kg)

Hair style: Wavy and greasy, always pulled back into a ponytail 

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Amber brown

Skin Tone: Tan

Body Shape/Build: Broad-shouldered, tall, beer-gut, heavy-built, sunken cheeks

Birthmarks: N/A

Scar(s): He has a large bite scar on his left leg after he was bitten by a titan. Due to how often he wears his ODM-gear harness, his skin has red marks that he has since gotten used to. 

Other: Full beard and mustache, and a mean look on his face

Health-

Memory: He has a fairly good memory, but he wishes to forget about his past and does everything he can to try to forget

Sight (do you need glasses?): Slightly normal, needs reading glasses

Mental: Anger issues, narcissism, paranoia

Physical: He walks with a slight limp on his left leg after a titan attack that he barely escaped. He will sometimes walk with a cane when he’s sore, however he mostly uses his cane to gain sympathy from Miriam and her kids and as a means to get out of too much work when he really doesn’t need it as much as he claims.

Sleep patterns (how you sleep and how much rest do you get?): His sleep schedule is completely disorganized. He doesn’t get much rest as he normally should, and sometimes sleeps in during the day

Allergies/Other: He is a heavy drinker and smokes frequently. Because of his excessive drinking, he is easily irritable and is prone to vomiting if he has too much. He becomes addicted to coderoin after his transfer to the Interior and often uses it to frame other potential criminals, whether guilty or not.

Abilities/Statistics (1- lowly skilled, 10- highly skilled and tell why)-

3D Maneuvering Gear: 7.5/10, as good as he is at maneuvering he is easily prone to motion sickness, and over the years his skill becomes more sloppy

Intelligence: 6/10

Martial Arts: 8/10

Battle Skill: 9/10

Agility: 5/10

Strategy: 6/10

Teamwork: 2/10

Passion: 5.5/10

Affiliation: Military Police

Former Affiliation: Scout Regiment; 97th Cadet Corps

Grad. Rank: 6th

Status (Alive, Missing, etc.): Deceased, left for dead and eaten by wolves

Relationships-

Parent(s): Johnny Kaufman (late-father), Edith Kaufman (mother, whereabouts unknown)

Sibling(s): N/A

Other Relative(s): N/A

Love Interest: Miriam Schuyler, Jacqueline Chapman (one-sided relationship)

Best Friend(s): Dawson Schuyler

Friend(s): Miriam Schuyler 

Enemy(ies): Dwight Oglethorpe, Dr. Finch, Matilda Oglethorpe, Taylor Schuyler, Eren Yeager

Hero(es): Johnny Kaufman

Rival(s): Kenny Ackerman, Nathanael Schuyler

Quote(s):

“Why don't we just pretend none of this ever happened? You don't tell them what you saw, and I’ll make sure it don’t come back to bite you in the ass—because if I go down, I'm dragging you down with me. Do I make myself clear?” "You've taken everything from me and rubbed it all in my face, and even in death you just can't leave me alone...Why can't you just stay dead!!? Just leave me be!!!” "Please, spare me…You wouldn’t hurt your uncle, would ya, babydoll?”

History/Life: Elijah Kaufman is a close familial friend to the Schuyler family and military veteran. Having formerly served in the Scout Regiment most of his career, he transferred to the Military Police after sustaining a severe leg injury in the front lines. Originally born in Dauper, he lived out in the woods with his father Johnny, who was a con artist taking part in shady businesses involving selling stolen ODM-gear, and his mother Edith left them when Elijah was two. Johnny loved his son more than anything, and much to the surprise of many considering the reputation Johnny had as the local drunk and gambler with blood on his hands, he was very doting towards him. He taught Elijah how to grow up tough and rarely punished him when he got into trouble; this gave Elijah a sense of superiority and why he grew up believing he could get away with anything. To further advance their shady business, Johnny and Elijah fled to Windsor with forged identification cards and to start up a whole new life. Elijah had adapted fairly quickly, but often kept to himself whilst Johnny was running the business, and it wasn’t easy for him making friends with the local children considering he wasn’t the nicest boy. One day as he was exploring the town, he tried to steal some apples only to be caught by the shop owner. Before he was struck, a young boy named Dawson Schuyler witnessed this and quickly intervened and offered to pay, and Elijah was able to avoid getting into trouble. Dawson bought more food for him shortly after and introduced himself, and offered for him to join in on a game of catch with him and his friends. At first apprehensive, Elijah eventually decided to join in, and this began a strong friendship between Elijah and Dawson; he was shortly introduced to Dawson’s friend group, Dwight Oglethorpe, Matilda Windsor, and Miriam Florence. Elijah was infatuated with Matilda and Miriam the moment he met them, and there were times he would act quite flirty towards the both of them—Miriam always assumed he was being friendly and was very soft-spoken so she never spoke up about it, but Matilda immediately made him back off as it made both of them uncomfortable (since then, he never really liked Matilda since she was, in his words, a “loud mouth”)—despite the fact that Dwight and Matilda were already together and that Dawson and Miriam had strong feelings for each other. Dwight and Dawson had to get involved and have a firm talk with him about respecting their boundaries. Despite his unpleasant behavior, his friends have tried many, many times to give him a chance in hopes that he would change for the better, and over time he had begun to change thanks to Dawson's influence.

When he was twelve, Johnny was caught by the Military Police and arrested. Elijah feared he would be put in an orphanage as he had no other family. Dawson convinced his own family to take Elijah in to avoid being taken away, as he did not want to see his friend struggle to survive with no one else to turn to. Luckily, his family was sympathetic enough to take the boy in, and they became practically like brothers. Elijah never had any set goals for the future until Dawson began to tell him about his dream to join the Scout Regiment and go on adventures on the outside. The thought of glory and gaining fortune for such an intense task sparked Elijah’s interest. It wouldn’t be long until the two signed up for the Cadet Corps and graduated at the top of their class, and together they enlisted into the Scout Regiment just as they had promised. The harsh reality of what awaited outside the walls weighed heavily on Elijah, and he had experienced many close calls and had to witness the gruesome deaths of fellow soldiers. But he prospered on being Dawson’s right hand man when he was eligible to form his own squad unit, and he continued to fight on. Over the years, his drinking would become increasingly worse to numb himself of what he had to experience. 

Dawson and Miriam were already married before they joined the Scouts, and he was there with the family for the birth of all four of their children—Nathanael, Jane, and twins Corine and Clovis. Dawson and Miriam considered Elijah as a part of the family, and the kids loved him so much and looked forward to him coming over for their visits, referring to him as “Uncle Eli.”

However, he was not the man the Schuylers’ thought he was. He saw Dawson’s perfect life, watched him marry the woman he wanted and have four children with her. He was oh-so perfect that Elijah envied him for it. It sickened him. 

One rainy day on the 36th expedition outside of the walls, Elijah accidentally separated himself from his squad, and as a result he was caught by an abnormal titan, his horse getting killed in the process. He frantically tried to escape the titan’s firm grasp as it had bitten down on his leg, but before his leg was entirely bitten off, Dawson arrived just in time to rescue him. Despite what he had done, Elijah remembered all Dawson had stolen from him: The woman he desired, letting him have a family of his own, and now getting him in a what he now sees as a suicide mission. Elijah had finally snapped and attacked him, not realizing the titan horde that was quickly approaching their way. He was able to knock him down and choked Dawson so hard that he damaged his larynx so he was unable to scream or breathe. When he realized there were titans coming after them, Elijah stole his gear and left him behind, and didn’t look back as the titans tore his best friend apart. He fabricated what happened when he told his comrades that Dawson died trying to save him. However, anyone who really knew Elijah would know he was a coward, but they could never prove he could have had anything to do with it. 

Elijah transferred out of the scouts and into the Military Police on recommendation. He would often patrol Wall Rose so he could stay close to Miriam and the kids when they were grieving. Because of his injury on duty, he walked with a limp and carried a cane with him. His leg would begin to heal over time to the point where, minus some soreness, he wouldn’t have to rely on his cane, and he would often use his injury as an excuse to spend his day sitting around and not having to work as much and gain sympathy from others. His drinking problem would continue to get worse, and most of his income went into gambling and whatever money he did have left to relieve his needs with women. To make extra cash, he started trading ODM-gear parts in the black market, just like his father had, and taking money from his niece knowing that she wouldn't have the heart to tell him no. It wasn't until after he had lashed out on Tay that the Schuyler family had finally cut all contact with him.

He was one of the MP’s to work alongside Kenny Ackerman in the Anti-Personnel Control Squad and conspired with the kidnapping of Eren Yeager and the true heir of the Reiss family Historia. Considering Elijah has had run-ins with Eren and knowing Jane had feelings for him, he was quite thrilled in taking part in the possibility of getting rid of Eren once and for all. He forced Nathanael to help them with the threat of harming his family if he didn’t. Everything fell apart when Elijah, in his drunken state, had let it slip to Kenny that he left Dawson to die. Nathanael would later betray him and fight back with the Scouts’ aid.

Elijah wouldn’t end up getting away from the sins of his past for very long. For many years, he had hurt and taken advantage of so many people who never hesitated to help him when he was in any trouble. Yet, he still believed that he was owed something and never took a moment to realize what he had until it was too late. In the end, his own mistakes would be his downfall. 

Bonus Facts

-His voice: Japanese- Hidekatsu Shibata (Fuhrer King Bradley, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood); English- Keith David (Dr. Facilier, The Princess and the Frog)

-His design is inspired by the actor Daniel Day-Lewis

-He has a strong scent of whiskey and doesn’t really shower regularly, so his odor is quite pungent 

-He’s a Virgo.

-His alignment is neutral-evil.

-He owes so much money that he knows he can’t pay back and is on the run from loaners so he can avoid being caught.

-Eli will sometimes plant evidence to get a stronger conviction amongst suspects, and as a result many innocent people were thrown in jail all because of him.

-A lot of the new recruits are scared of him and try to avoid running into him as much as they possibly can, especially when they know he’s been drinking.

-In a modern AU, he isn’t much different from his canon counterpart but is more able to get away with his crimes much easier. He and Eren are constantly at each other's throats and when Tay reveals the extent of the emotional abuse, Elijah is thrown out and all contact from the family is cut off for good.

-His spirit animal is a black mamba

~

OC Profile Creato- AliceCantBeStopped; Divider- strangergraphics

[the-heaminator]

France once suddenly disappeared. He fattened himself up and cut off parts of his body, cut up already and looking like regular meat to cook and sent them to some of his neighbors. To this day, they don't always know the real reason behind France saying "I've enjoyed being inside you"

I liked this, and because i write more gore and cannibalism than i should do, it ended up being, like that. Please read at your own discretion TW: Gore, Cannibalism, Weight gain(?) I'm not sure if its a trigger but I'll include it. Everything is relatively mild believe me i could have gone to town and further with this, I refrained myself to avoid concern

Francis had not shown up to the meeting, and he hadn't shown up to a few of the prior ones too, it wasn't all that odd, at least not in the long run, this was Francis after all, he had probably just fucked off somewhere, or was having a little bit of a snap of his sanity, both happened often enough and frankly it was nothing to get overly concerned about, almost all nations over a certain age dd this on occasion.

This was nothing frightening, or odd. This was normal.

Francis liked to eat, this was no surprise to anybody, he had gotten a little softer in recent decades, overabundance of food to a system not used to it would do that, that in itself was also not unusual, hell even Gilbert had discovered that you could eat and take pleasure from it without being sinful about it.

Francis wanted to be sinful about it, at least on this instance, he wanted to be a glutton, to eat and eat and eat without any thought of the consequences, frankly for their kind, there were scarcely any. He had done this before to boot, he knew what he was doing, fattening himself up like a prized hog could be considered a little odd, I do digress, but he was an odd man, so what the fuck.

Soft rolls of lovingly homegrown lard, it would taste nice if slow-cooked or marinated, he spoke from experience, he had stocked up for weeks before he decided to disappear, he could cook all he wanted, he could order out, the ability to do that was novel and he liked it, the food was greasy but delicious, he understood why Alfred and Arthur liked such foods, even if only the former had it have an impact on his waistline, Arthur didn't eat enough in the first place, he would taste bad, horribly anaemic, it wouldn't be nearly as rich as he liked it, mostly bones, he would make a nice broth.

Eh where was he, cake, yes, cake, he had baked a nice one, all for himself, yes he was being selfish but was that not his goal here?

He was nearing the target weight, it was always fun to reshape himself, the human constitution could not do that, they were not entirely human, he would do it in the bathroom, save the carpet, and even if anything was detected, it was impossible to extract DNA from it, they didn't have it in the way people did, no adenine, nothing.

The cake was good, he had already prepared the marination beforehand, it was getting a little hard to see the numbers on the scale, always a bit more bottom heavy than he thought he would be, he did want to crush Arthur between his thighs like this, he would practically suffocate, that would be fun, but he could not do that, unfortunately, he was not sure how to broach this to him, he could just not, but that would be mean.

Anyhow, he had been getting a little distracted these days, he was getting close.

A couple more days and he was there, reshaping himself like Michelangelo with his block of marble, cutting off hunks of flesh and watching his body stitch itself together, it needed energy to do that, and he had enough stored away now to heal fast enough that he never truly came close to deaths, he always decided to keep some, this time he decided to keep a bit more than usual, he liked being soft, it was comfortable and warm, he had been blessed with almost womanly curves, it would be nice to use them to his advantage.

Some off the sides, some off the chest, arms, thighs, not too much off that, he liked them heavy, closer to his normal weight, he slowly waited for his body to fully clear itself up, skin now unblemished and clear, he missed the blood a little, but it would taste nice.

Marinated, slow cooked so his lovingly homegrown lard really seeped into the meat, making it soft and tender, actually it was a bit like a mix of pork and venison actually, he could pass it off like that.

His neigbours loved it, he missed the feeling of straining against his clothes more than he normally did, it usually went away in time, he did wish it would do so quicker though, "I've enjoyed being inside you.."

That was creepy, he usually left it at that though, unless someone asked to which he then continued "Being inside your house. That is."

[ralith]

retired trio for 44 36 31 and 29? It's alright if you don't wanna do 4 you can just do the first 3

44. Their happiest memory: Their wedding, or the first time they slept together are obvious choices, but I think their happiest moment would be when they actually slept together. The three of them snuggled under the quilt, the only sound their breathing and shuffle of sheets. Not knowing whose leg is brushing whose. Ratchet broke the silence, suddenly laughing because of how wonderful and silly it all felt, feeling warm and loved for the first time in ages. The others joined in and tugged each other closer.

36. Their favorite season: Winter for Ironhide. Nothing like a rigorous dicking down to warm up from the chill. His libido hits an all time high in the colder months. Ratchet prefers autumn. It's sweater weather, pie season. Hayrides and haunted houses. Optimus enjoys the summer. Time to get a nice tan and do some housework. Shirtless Optimus makes the the two appreciate the heat.

31. If they had a tumblr what would it look like?: Ironhide's blog would be military aesthetic, posts about sport shooting, personal posts thirsting after the hot musuem director he met and freaking out when said director contacted Ironhide about a first date. Then later thirsting about the director's hot best friend and trashing his husband.

Optimus's blog would probably be history articles, and he would follow local and nationally known museums and aquariums, promoting their events through reblogs. He might engage on a fact-checking spree and correcting people on their history knowledge.

Ratchet's blog would be of the medical variety, reblogging articles of how to keep oneself healthy and happy, while vague-blogging about his husband and how unhappy he is in his own relationship. Posting about how jealous he is of Optimus and the handsome man he's dating who's built like a brick shithouse.

29. Eating habits: Ironhide's eating habits get him in trouble with the others. He snacks often, and goes overboard with dessert. Loves sweets and baked goods. They have to practically drag him away from the bakery section at the grocery store and keep him from the snack cake/cookie aisle.

Optimus eats rather healthy, he has to make an example for Ironhide because he does most of the cooking in the house. But this man loves cheesy foods. He and Ratchet make a competent team in the kitchen.

Ratchet, for being a doctor, loves a good greasy hamburger. Bacon fries. He doesn't eat like that every day, but he'll treat himself to the most cardiac-arrest inducing burger after a bad week. Loves autumnal foods and bakes pies and cookies with Optimus.

[echoedvoice]

I really wish healthy food options were more affordable for food-insecure families that don’t have time to cook homemade meals every single night. I just saw a post about how Wendy’s is selling 1 CENT Baconator cheeseburgers all throughout the month of May, and that there are all sorts of deals going on (for their chicken sandwiches too) in honor of National Hamburger Day. And that’s fantastic, I’m really glad they’re doing that. I might even get in on the deal myself at some point before the month is over (although I’ve been trying to eat more healthy and mindfully lately.) BUT it’s just so sad to me that this kind of sodium-laden greasy, artery-clogging stuff is the only cheap option for busy lower income families. Eating that stuff all the time is a recipe for disaster. Like, childhood obesity is a sensitive topic for me and I’m passionate about the fight against it, and just. It’s just so heartbreaking man. Fuck.