#need a big character stims masterpost

[rhetoricalsoapbox]

Little post of things I love about Richie Valence just because

1. His overly sharp and prominent canines

Cerillia makes fun of them sometimes, but she did it really frequently after she found out about his “Dauphine Street Ripper” identity.

Richie is a little conscious of them, but his pathetic ass likes to scare little kids (and so does Ceri honestly) so he puts them to use where he can. He does find it funny when Cerillia teases him about them though.

2. His little car

Richie drives a 1962 Studebaker Lark Daytona (hardtop), and I just find it really cute for him. It's in a pretty red that's the color of his favorite stone; jasper.

There's a part of me that thinks it's so funny for him to be the character that owns one, especially when this is it's advert:

Richie killed people with this little car.

I think it's also extremely funny that Cerillia managed to somehow keep a 6'0 tall Richie in the trunk of one of these flawlessly.

3. His stims

Richie stims by tapping his fingers either on the side of his leg or on the side of a pen(cil). He also has a habit of humming one phrase or rythym from a song over and over again.

4. The Nancy Sinatra Song

'How Does That Grab You, Darling?" is one of Richie's favorite songs, and I absolutely love it for him.

He'll sing it whenever he hears it, but my favorite thing about that is the fact that he never changes up the pronouns or terms.

He will very boldly sing "How does that grab you darling? This girl is leaving you behind." and he doesn't ever consider saying anything other than 'girl.'

In fact, sometimes he'll say that word a little louder than the rest of the words.

5. His music taste in general

Richie is a big fan of girl groups like the Supremes, and he really likes singers like Aretha Franklin and Roberta Flack.

He absolutely loves Lesley Gore - and if he could actually sing well at all - he'd probably give you one of his little dream performances of him singing her songs.

Some of his favorites of her's are: Cry Me A River, Just Let Me Cry, Misty, You Don't Own Me, California Nights, What Kind Of Fool Am I?, The Old Crowd, and Fools Rush In (Where Angels Fear To Tread).

[daechwitatamic]

Vice;Grip || chapter 4 || chs

(banner by @itaeewon)

Vice;Grip (masterpost) NSFW - minors DNI Genre: angst smut fluff, fuckbuddies!au Summary: Make it not hurt, you could have asked him. Or, at least, make it hurt in a way I choose.  A/N: infinite thank you's to @sailoryooons and @eoieopda for beta-ing!!

//

Warnings: Frequent depictions of depression, depressive episodes, panic attacks, and substance abuse (alcohol, weed, and pills referenced). PLEASE know that these characters’ relationships with drugs and alcohol are not healthy and should not be emulated. If these topics are triggering to you, please consider sitting this one out.

Section Specific Warnings: language, recreational drinking, depiction of a panic attack, there is a quick moment where you can infer that reader thinks vernon might be actively su*cidal but that is not the case and this is not outright stated, nip stim, dirty talk, piv sex, reader has a high fever but no specific illness is mentioned, a (verbal) fight with some yelling

wc: 6700

Playlist: you can call me in the middle of the night / you can leave before i wake up in the morning / and it could feel so wrong / but i'll still hold on

5 months ago

Five texts went unanswered.

I’m sorry.

I was so fucked up, I wasn’t saying what I meant.

Call me so I can explain.

I’m really sorry.

Please, Vernon.

Each time, they delivered, but no response came. You thought you might feel better if he told you to go away. The silence felt too open, like nothing was settled. Like maybe you just hadn’t said the right thing yet. Like maybe you could - or should - keep trying.

Four weeks passed; you tried not to let it drown you, tried to tread above the rising water of the situation. You swam through guilt, your own anger, guilt again. The knowledge of what had upset him nibbled at your toes like fish you couldn’t see in the murky depths. You tried to pretend it wasn’t there, that it was only seaweed underfoot.

You tried to reason with yourself; you hadn’t done anything that bad. He’d been upset because you’d implied he’d get bored of you someday - even though of course he would - and he thought… you didn’t know, he thought that was an attack on his character?

(You knew that wasn’t why he was mad.)

Or, because you’d implied that he would leave, when you were the one who’d gone silent before? That was valid, you thought. You had been the one to make him chase, when your grey days swallowed you up.

(You knew that wasn’t the whole truth, either.)

You kicked at the fish, kept swimming on.

Three times, you found yourself on the brink of coming clean to Chan. The first time, it had almost escaped from your mouth, prompted by nothing but your own need to hear someone absolve you; you wanted to tell Chan I think I hurt him, so he could say, it doesn’t sound like it’s your fault.

Chan didn’t lie to you, though, even when you wanted him to. He wouldn’t tell you it wasn’t your fault, because it was. So, you tucked the words back in, zipped them up safely.

The next time, he’d asked - “You still… with that guy?” He’d made a vague hand motion that must have meant still seeing, or still sleeping with.

I messed it up again.

I think I liked him too much.

“It’s been like a month,” you said lightly, like it was no big deal. “We’ve been busy.”

His sideways look was scalding. Chan didn’t lie to you; Chan was used to you lying to him, knew all the signs.

He let it go anyway.

Maybe he knew those signs, too. Maybe he knew without you telling him that you’d let the bunny rabbit instincts win - that you’d hid, scared, the second your fragile, broken brain told you to.

The third time, you almost told him all of it, even that it was Vernon. Chan was having dinner at your apartment, helping you clean up after, when his phone buzzed on the table.

“Hey, hyung,” he’d answered, tilting his head to grip the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he ran water in the sink and started rinsing the plates. “Yeah, I’m in. I don’t know, probably in like twenty minutes? Fifteen if I make all the green lights.”

You listened absently as you picked up the rest of the table - napkins in the trash, utensils tight in one hand, now-empty wine glasses in the other.

“Oh,” Chan said, surprised. “Vernon, too? Nice. Should I stop for beer since there’ll be more of us?”

You dropped a wine glass. Chan helped you sweep, and then you ran the vacuum cleaner. Still, you kept finding errant pieces of glass for days. You carried them carefully to the garbage.

It felt fitting, that hearing his name had caused this.

Twice, you called and left voicemails.

Two days after the argument, you’d called on your lunch break. It had rang six times and then his voicemail picked up.

“Vernon… listen, I know I pissed you off. I’d really like the chance to explain myself when I’m not… you know. I didn’t say it how I meant it. Text me. Or call me, whichever.”

After the four weeks crept by and the rest of your texts went unanswered as well, you tried again.

It took almost a whole bottle of wine by yourself to work up the courage, and you hoped he wouldn’t hear the slur in your voice when you told him, “I don’t know why I’m even calling. It’s been a month. I hate that this is just… unresolved. I hate making people mad. I want to know that you know I’m sorry. I want to know that… well. I just… wish we were talking again. I don’t… I don’t know why I’m calling.”

You sat at the stool by your easel for the first time in years, tested your balance, tucked one foot underneath the way you used to. Your hands shook a little as you mixed a purple so dark it was probably actually just black. You covered the canvas, the color of nine at night in the summertime, and stared at it, watching it dry.

When you could, you switched brushes, used a rounder texture to form something that might pass as clouds along the mottled sky. Then, you painted a full moon; it cracked like an egg.

You liked this, you followed the idea, paintbrush hurrying to chase the inspiration, whites and yellows coloring in whatever it was that might leak from the moon like marrow.

The bottom half of the canvas became a moving, living ocean; the blues were eight at night in the summertime but they looked good together with the hour after. You finished with the moon’s reflective path, a jagged yellow streak that dipped and bobbed through the waves.

You walked to the bathroom and washed your brushes, leaving them somewhere to dry where the cat couldn’t mess with them. Then you went back to the canvas, staring at it from a few feet away, your hands on your hips.

You’d done it - you’d painted something you didn’t want to burn.

One painting, one tiny step back towards the life you’d lost - that you’d let yourself lose, that you’d definitively pushed away.

4 months ago

It rained for three days. You lit lamps during the day, suddenly craved soups even though it was the height of spring and the weather had been consistently warm for weeks. The rain just called for it.

It called for you to sleep, too, luring you into bed with a steady patter against the windows. You slept early, and deeply, the cat curled up near your head. The rain beat against the windows like a metronome, helped your heart rate steady, helped your thoughts slow and settle.

You slept deeply, the sounds of the rain pulling you under, and when you were startled awake a few hours in, it was with no concept of where or who you were.

Your phone was still vibrating, jarring; you scrambled to grab it from the nightstand and the cat scrambled out of the room.

Your mom, you thought wildly. Or Chan.

What else could it be, but an emergency? No one else called at three in the morning. Someone used to, but only on the weekend, and that person hadn’t answered you in over a month.

“H’lo?” you mumbled, eyes too blurry to see the screen. You closed them, pressed the phone tighter to your ear to hear better.

No one spoke, but you could hear breathing - ragged and unsteady.

“Hello?” you repeated, more clearly, starting to wake up a bit, starting to worry. You rubbed at your eyes, then pulled the phone away so you could see the name on the screen.

Of course it was him.

“Vernon?” you asked, like you didn’t believe the word on the screen, but you were met with only silence - even his breathing went quiet for a second, like hearing his name had caused him to hold it. Like he suddenly wasn’t sure he wanted you to know he was there.

You said his name again, like a question, and it sounded like maybe he tried to speak but the noise - choked and quick - faded quickly. Your heart started to race, and certainty settled into your bones: something was wrong.

“Hey,” you said, a little sharply, like maybe he needed to snap out of it. “Are you okay?”

Finally, a word. “Dunno,” he managed, his voice thick.

“I’m coming there,” you said, already throwing the blankets off your legs and staggering to your closet to pull at some sweatpants. “Don’t leave, okay?”

“No,” he protested, but the way he gasped the breath after it cemented what you already knew - he needed you.

Or, he needed someone, and you were someone, and you would have to do.

“I’m on my way. Stay there, okay? Wait for me.” You were hopping on one foot as you said this, pulling clothes and shoes on, frantically reaching around in the dark for things like deodorant and car keys.

When he didn’t answer, you stopped moving, stopped trying to find your things. When you spoke again, your voice came out softer, a gentle plea instead of sharp instruction. “Hansol,” you said, quiet. “Wait for me. Okay?”

He ended the call without promising.

You stayed tucked into the building’s doorframe until you saw the Uber pull up; the rain was coming down in sheets, and you had to run to the car, splashing through still water until you could slide into the backseat. Your feet were soaked.

You spent the first five minutes of the ride wiping rain out of your eyes and trying to wring out the ends of your sleeves; the fabric clung to your hands, wet and cold. Outside the car, the rain water ran down the windows and the windshield wipers ran on the fastest setting.

im on my way, okay?

[ ]

vernon you’re scaring me

When the car pulled to a stop, you jumped out as soon as it was safe, bolting through the rain a second time and letting yourself into the building with the code you knew by heart. You took the stairs two at a time, heart flying. You were at once both scared to death of what you’d find when you got there, and refusing to put the specific fear to words, refusing to consider that it could be an option.

“Where are you?” you called, as soon as you got his door open. The apartment was mostly unlit, but for the light above the sink, and a dim light from the direction of his bedroom. “Vernon?”

You were met with silence and you almost choked on your heart as it climbed up your throat. You slipped off your shoes and made your way inside, heading for his bedroom.

You almost threw up with relief when you found him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. The light you saw came from his bathroom - the door was closed almost completely, but light spilled out through the crack.

“What’s wrong, what’s happening?” you asked, inching closer. His hands were clenched into fists and bent back at an angle, veins raised along his tensed forearms. His breath went in raspy and came out in huffs, too quick to be productive.

You were pretty sure you knew what this was. You knelt in front of him, ran your hands over his tensed-up arms once, and then nudged under his chin gently with your forefinger, urging him to lift up and look at you.

He let you, his eyes faraway.

“Panic attack?” you guessed quietly. He nodded once, trying to tuck his chin back down, to look away and hide from the shame of this moment being witnessed - being recognized.

“If I put on my breathing app, will you do it?” you asked.

The sound he made was almost like a laugh. “I’ll try,” he muttered.

You opened your phone and set the app up, placing it on the bed beside him, the light from the screen tinting him pink. You heard the familiar, soothing voice begin to recite the directions, and you rocked back on your heels.

“I’m going to your kitchen real quick,” you told him, putting your hands on his knees to push yourself to standing. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll do the breathing with you in a sec.”

You shivered once as you stood with his fridge open; you’d been in his kitchen plenty of times, but never really perused on your own. Your gaze moved over beer and energy drinks, finally landing on juice. You slapped the bottle on the counter and rummaged in the closest cabinets until you found a glass.

Returning to his bedroom, you could hear your breathing app intoning hold… two… three… four… exhale slowly… two… three… four. It was hard to tell if Vernon was following - his head was still tucked, but his hands clenched and unclenched, like he was trying to return circulation after they’d fallen asleep.

You waited patiently until the breathing cycle ended, then nudged the glass into his hand. When he took it, you sat gently next to him, watching silently until he drank some.

“Where are you at?” you asked, and then started to explain what you meant.

Vernon interrupted; he’d understood the first time.

He usually did.

“Better,” he said, then added, “Not, like, better. But, better. Still buzzing.”

You knew the feeling - you tended to get buzzing in your legs first, then hands, and then it would crawl up your arms and into your chest if you didn’t shake it. When the attack receded, you usually felt it leave your chest first and then work its way slowly back down your arms.

“What usually helps?” you asked. “Is the breathing cycle better, or grounding?”

“Grounding, probably,” he said.

“Start by drinking some juice,” you instructed. “Then, can you tell me five things you see?”

“It’s dark,” he grumbled, but he brought the glass to his lips as requested. You rolled your eyes at his sass and walked over to turn on the lamp he kept on his desk. It cast the room in yellow, all the raindrops on the window suddenly catching the light.

“Now do it,” you said, coming back to sit by him again.

You heard him take a breath. He was better already - hands unclenched now, breathing still a bit quick but not raspy or gasped. “It feels silly to do out loud.”

“I’ll do it, too,” you said. “I see your laptop, your lamp, your cell phone, your dresser, and your very old and embarrassing Blink-182 poster. Literally, Vernon, is it 2003?”

He laughed, closing his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re roasting me right now,” he said, voice still a little thin and breathy.

“Five things you see,” you reminded him firmly.

He huffed in mild irritation. “Hamper,” he recited, finally. “Shoes. Empty Red Bull can.”

You laughed.

“Cologne bottle,” he finished, then looked up at you. “Girl who came out at three in the morning, in the rain, after a month of not speaking, because she was worried about me.”

You spluttered. “I was not.”

He knocked his shoulder into yours playfully. “I have it in writing.”

You let out an indignant breath. “I should have let you suffer alone,” you muttered.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he admitted, then dutifully drank some more juice.

“Okay,” you said, remembering what you were doing. “Four things you can hear.”

He sighed. “Bossy girl,” he listed, and you whacked at his knee. “Rain. Aircon. Traffic outside.”

You finished the exercise together.

“Now how is it?” you asked, reaching to take his empty glass.

He flexed his hands in front of him. “Buzzing’s down to my hands,” he reported. “Think I’m past the worst.”

“How do you feel, otherwise?”

He grimaced. “Exhausted, honestly.”

You looked at the clock - it was after 4:30 in the morning, almost time for sunrise to begin.

“You should try and sleep more,” you said, starting to rise.

“Stay?” he asked, and you thought you heard a note of, well, panic in it. Like he was scared to be alone again.

Something inside you screamed and beat its fists against your insides, furious and terrified as it felt you melt into goo at his request. Something inside you knew that you were walking into a building on fire. But there was no way you’d stay outside, not now, not if he was in there.

“Of course,” you said, as if it was obvious, as if you stayed over all the time - as if this weren’t, in fact, a first.

He seemed to take in your appearance for the first time, the still-drying patches on your clothes, the goosebumps on your damp skin. “You’re cold,” he said, frowning, like you should have led with that as soon as you came in, handled your needs first.

“I’m okay,” you denied, but he rolled his eyes and leaned over the other side of his bed, coming up with a rumpled black hoodie.

“I promise it’s clean,” he said, a little sheepishly, and you pulled off your damp tshirt and tugged the hoodie over your head, instantly warmer and surrounded by his smell. He left for the bathroom, and when you heard the sink run and the telltale buzzing from his electric toothbrush, you got up and turned his lamp back off. When he emerged, you were under the blankets, huddled warm and cozy inside his hoodie.

When he climbed into bed, you draped yourself over him, a leg over his legs, an arm over his torso, your face pressing against his t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in, and you lay in silence for a while, listening to the rain, awash in relief that he was okay - that you two were okay, that he’d let you back in even after you’d fucked it up.

Just as you were starting to drift a little, you felt his chest move under you, and he said, quietly, “I’m sorry for making you come out in the storm. In the middle of the night, too.”

“Don’t,” you said, shaking your head but not lifting it up to look at him. Your words carried out into the dark of the room. “You can call me. You can call me when you need me. I don’t care if it’s late. I don’t care if it’s… a hurricane, or whatever.”

It was too honest. It was too close to the truth. You shivered in the dark again, and you felt him hold you tighter for a second, as if to chase the chill away.

He let the moment go, didn’t chase it down and shine a light on it. But you know he heard you - you think, probably, he heard the whole thing, all the parts you didn’t say.

You waited in silence again, let the moment go, let the rain wash this away, too. Then, you ventured, “I’m sorry for what I said to you, last month. Really.”

You felt him nod above you. “I know. It’s… it’s okay.”

Is it? you wondered. But you didn’t push it - because you were scared that his forgiveness was fragile and might shatter if pressed, because you’d already admitted something you weren’t sure you’d meant to tonight, because saying anything seemed wrong while you were between his arms with the rain serenading you both from outside.

You drifted off; you woke up with his hands on your skin beneath his hoodie. You sighed, eyes still closed, as he refamiliarized himself with your body. You breathed in deeply when his fingers brushed up your stomach and found your breasts, teased over your nipples so lightly that it almost tickled, made you shudder in place.

You felt his lips at the nape of your neck, and that made you shiver, too. He pressed kisses along the tops of your shoulder as he teased one peak and then the other, finally giving in to your tiny, needy noises and rolling both buds between firm fingers. You moaned, long, feeling it pulled from deep within you until he let go, soothing over the spots with warm palms.

“Missed that sound,” he murmured against your back, and you pressed back against him desperately, suddenly sure that if he wasn’t inside you this instant you would completely lose it. You reached backwards, grabbing at his hips, trying to pull him closer.

“Need you,” you whined, hating it but knowing it was true anyway, the need larger than the embarrassment. You could feel him pressing against your ass, too many layers between you, and you shifted against him, hoping to spur him into action.

He hummed, pleased, and slid a clever hand back down over your stomach and past the waistbands of your sweats and panties, groaning low in his throat when he found arousal pooling between your legs. He barely bothered to work you open, likely feeling the same desperation you were after the time apart. You felt him shimmy out of his shorts, then his hands back on your skin as he peeled away your bottoms as well.

You kicked them off of your ankles and inhaled as you felt him slide along your slit, teasing at your entrance. He kept one hand up your hoodie, pressed against your chest to hold you tight against him, as he pushed into your heat one inch at a time. You heard yourself make a sound you couldn’t name, somewhere close to a whine, as you felt each bit of him rub against your walls as they struggled to adjust.

“Fuck,” he breathed, mouth close to your neck. “Tighter than I remember.”

He bottomed out and stilled, that one hand still holding you tight against his body. You closed your eyes and felt the moment: his heart beating against your back, your own pulse thundering through your limbs, your pussy pulsing around him as it adjusted and fluttered, his breath warm and steady on your skin, his hands soothing and grounding as they held you tight, the rain still falling steadily outside. You stayed still, eyes closed, as he caressed your hips, your lower belly, your thighs, as he pressed chaste and feather-light kisses along your shoulder.

Finally, he shifted, fucking into you in small movements, barely withdrawing at all before tilting his hips to push back in. You rocked back against him, silently begging for more.

He pulled out almost completely, and then slid back in; the sound you let out bordered on a sob, your nerves alight and sizzling as he began repeating the motion, each stroke slow and long, unhurried, burying himself as completely as he could. You floated like this, completely enveloped by him, still wearing his hoodie, as he took his time with you, until you couldn’t bear it anymore.

“More, Vernon,” you begged, “please.”

“As you wish,” he teased, and used his knee to move yours, bending your leg and hooking it up around his to open you up more, to give himself more room as he set a quicker, steady pace. Relieved, you matched his strokes, half-tempted to roll over so you could kiss him, but not wanting to lose even a second of the delicious feeling of him stretching you, of the friction that made your eyes want to roll back and your toes curl up.

It took you completely by surprise when he began pistoning into you, holding you in place by your waist, and a gasp flew from your mouth, morphing into a series of moans and cries as his hips battered at yours. Even more so when he grabbed at your thigh and tugged, rolling you onto your back and readjusting himself over you, slipping right back in as you wrapped your legs around him and tried to pull him closer.

His pace slowed only marginally as he grabbed at your hands and raised them above your head. Bent close over you, you finally got what you’d wanted the whole time - his lips finally found yours and you kissed hungrily as he fucked you deep. Above your head, you felt your fingers curl against his, lacing together. You squeezed his fingers tight when you came, his name slipping from your lips as your legs shook and your world went white. Vernon came with a cry, eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched as he emptied himself in your still-pulsing heat, and then collapsed next to you, both of you panting.

“Shower?” he asked, when he’d caught his breath.

You tilted your phone so you could see the time. “I should probably just go home,” you admitted. “I have work.” This realization hit you - you’d gotten maybe four and a half hours of sleep, and not even all at once. Thank god it was Friday and you only had one day to struggle through.

He nodded, understanding. After you dressed, he wandered after you like a shadow. “You around tomorrow night?” he asked, and you could hear the effort to sound off-handed.

“Yeah,” you said, eyes flicking to his for a second. “Yeah, I’ll be around.”

When your ride pulled up and you stepped outside, you shielded your eyes from how bright everything was in the early morning light after days of gloom and clouds. Around you, everything glistened and sparkled, still wet from the days of incessant rain, as if everything you could see had been washed clean.

3 months ago

hi :]

what’s wrong with your face?

are you insulting my smiley?

again i ask you: is it 2003?

im gonna ignore that. come over?

can’t, sorry. i’m sick

whats wrong with u?

should i start listing?

ha ha. girl stuff?

vernon!!!!

lmao i mean if its not that i figured youd just tell me whats wrong

i have a fever, you ass

It was true - you’d carried your comforter from your bed to your couch that morning and had barely moved since. The cat was on top of your legs and you didn’t have the strength or energy to move him. Through the day, your fever had risen; you hadn’t helped things by refusing to get up, which meant you were probably dehydrated. As Vernon texted you, you took mental inventory of how badly everything on your body hurt - your limbs, your hips, everything ached. The pain in your head was sharp and bloody, and you felt like you were sweltering even though your feet were ice cold.

You felt too miserable to even watch a show; instead, you looked around your living room absently. You were pretty sure you were seeing colors off to the side, hazy swatches of red and blue.

Well, you thought dryly, that’s not good.

Then, your hallucinations took form, because the couch was dipping under you and someone was placing a cool hand against your head. You closed your eyes, leaning into the touch just because the coolness felt nice.

“You need to drink something,” someone told you.

“I had the lemonade,” you said.

There was a pause. “I don’t… think there’s lemonade here. Hey - wake up and look at me.”

You blinked, and looked towards the voice. The world’s most beautiful man looked down at you, frowning.

“Wow,” you heard yourself. “You’re so handsome. What are you here for?”

He laughed. “I’m here to take care of you,” he said. “I’m bringing you water, okay?”

You frowned. “I don’t want water. My throat hurts. I want juice.”

There was another pause, and then the voice came again, from further away. “I’ll bring you juice, but you need to drink water now.”

Then he was back, snapping in front of your face. “Hey, look at me again. This is serious. Have you taken any medicine? I don’t want to give you double of something and overdose you.”

“I don’t think I’ve left the couch today,” you told him honestly.

“Okay,” he said, and you didn’t remember him moving or leaving but he was somehow pressing pills into your hand, waiting for you to place them on your tongue before handing you a plastic cup full of water.

“Drink all of it,” he instructed.

“You’re too pretty to be so bossy,” you grumbled around the mouthful of pills.

He waited until you drained the cup. “I’m going to go to the store,” he told you. “Can you think of anything else you need besides juice?”

You didn’t remember if you answered him, or even him leaving. You think you slept. When you woke, someone was rummaging around your kitchen.

“Chan?” you called, blearily.

Instead, Vernon poked his head around the corner of your kitchen, a grocery store bag hanging off his arm.

“Hey,” he said. “How do you feel?”

You blinked at him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what the fuck are you doing here?”

His smile widened. “Your fever must be down a little. You need anything? You still want juice?”

You just stared at him, bewildered. He finished putting away a few more things and then came back out to you, pressing a hand to your forehead.

“Definitely lower,” he said. “Do you have an actual thermometer? I couldn’t find it.”

“Yeah,” you said, still confused. “In my bathroom. Vernon, seriously, what’s going on?”

“Come on,” he said. “You should shower and put on clean pajamas and then maybe try to eat some of the soup I got.”

You shook your head. “I don’t think I can shower,” you admitted. “I don’t think I can stand up that long.”

He held out his hand. “I’ve got you. Just a quick rinse.”

He helped you off the couch and into the bathroom, where you sat on the closed toilet while he started the water and got it running warm, but not hot. You kept silent as he helped you undress, as he held your hand while you gingerly stepped over the bathtub’s lip, your legs aching.

“You okay?” he checked, once you were behind the shower curtain.

“Mhm.”

“Okay. I’m going in your room to get you clean clothes to put on.”

“Hurry.”

“I’m right outside. If you feel weird, just call me.”

You did okay, though, washing up and turning the water off on your own, reaching for the towel you kept on a hook. He came in when he heard the water change, and helped you dry off, his hands firm and his gaze gentle. Then he led you back to your bed, guiding you under the blankets.

“Do you think you could eat some soup?” he asked. “I bet you didn’t eat all day.”

You scrunched your nose. “You don’t have to cook for me.”

He shrugged. “It’s pre-made. I’ll heat some up.”

You tried to eat as much of the soup as you could, and then floated absently as Vernon cleaned up.

“Hey,” you said, struggling to sit up. “I don’t think I fed the cat tonight.”

“Tell me what to do,” he said, pushing on your shoulder to keep you from climbing out of bed.

“You can’t just- he’s particular - there’s a process -”

“Tell me the process, then,” Vernon said firmly.

Later, after he’d turned out all the lights, he came to the side of the bed and checked your temperature again - this time with your actual thermometer.

“I’m waking you up in three hours to take another fever-reducer,” he warned you, walking to set the thermometer down on your dresser.

“Okay,” you said, too tired to argue. You were already half-asleep as it was - you had no idea what time it was.

You barely registered it when he climbed into the bed next to you, just rolled over and buried your face in his chest, one arm reaching around his middle, already back under.

His alarm startled you both. You felt him pull away - you were sleeping in the same position, neither of you had moved - and then the alarm fell quiet.

“Medicine,” he said, starting to extract himself. You whined; you were comfy, and warm, and didn’t want him to leave.

“Don’t,” you whined. “Don’t leave.”

He laughed a little, a quiet huff of amusement. “I’m just going to the kitchen. Then I’ll be back.”

He watched you take another round of pills and drink half the water, leaving the glass on your nightstand. Then, as promised, he got right back in bed.

When you woke again, your bed was empty. And, impossibly, you felt both relief and disappointment. Then, from the living room, you heard a clatter and then a curse.

“Vernon?” you called.

Your bedroom door cracked open. Like a flash of lightning, the cat streaked into the room and under the bed.

“Sorry,” Vernon said from the doorway. “He was pissed that I wouldn’t let him in there with you. I wanted you to sleep. He was mutinying.”

You smiled despite yourself. “You didn’t go home?”

“Wanted to see how you were before I left,” he said. “You sound better. You look better, too - I mean, you looked really off yesterday. It was kind of scary.”

“I think I’m okay,” you said. “Okay enough that I can keep my fever down by myself. I shouldn’t have let it get that high yesterday, I should have stayed on top of it.”

He looked at you for a long time. Then, he clapped his hand against your doorframe, as if he’d made a decision. “Okay. I’ll go home, I guess. Just… let me know if it gets bad, okay? And eat something. I bought stuff for you yesterday - it’s all in the kitchen.”

“Thanks for doing that,” you said, a little sheepishly.

“It was nothing,” he promised.

After he left, you stayed in the bed, rolling onto your side so you could smell the blankets where he’d slept. It helped you feel safer, like you weren’t actually alone.

It occurred to you that you’d spent the night together twice in a row, now. The rules were breaking - the rules were changing.

Your head pounded, and so did your heart. Nothing had ever been this frightening in your life, you thought.

2 months ago

Vernon saw you as sunshine - not like it was your demeanor, because that wasn’t true. More like - something he needed without realizing he needed it, something he realized he needed only in its absence. Something that made things better and brighter, something that could sometimes be too bright. Something that made the grey days feel greyer in a can you understand happiness if you never feel sadness kind of way.

He tipped your head back to kiss you, caught your bottom lip between his teeth, rolled his hips into yours, watched your hands clench into fists in his sheets.

He forgot himself a little; or maybe he just gave in to something he’d been holding back for months - maybe even a year. Something cracked, marrow slipped out of him, sluiced into the rocky ocean below.

After, he held you close, whispered, “Don’t go home. Stay. Jagi, stay here.”

And, he had to give you credit - you were at least honest. You at least told him your truth, in your own way.

“I can’t,” you said, and he knew you, knew how you meant it. He didn’t argue or call you back when you dressed, when you left again, just how you’d done things almost every time over the last two years.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t want you, maybe even love you, and only have parts of you. It was too hard, it wasn’t fair. Two years, and he had nothing to show for it. Maybe he’d find someone, if he wasn’t spinning his wheels with you.

He saw you like sunshine. Something that was missed when it was gone. Something that couldn’t be forced to stay, something that didn’t come when it was called.

1 month ago

You could tell that something was different. You’d been around Vernon plenty when he was low - this was different.

“You’re being weird tonight,” you observed.

His eyes cut sideways at you. He’d never looked at you like that - this was another clue. Then his face went flat again.

“I’m not,” he said, and you frowned.

“You are,” you insisted. “What’s going on? What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” he said, tone hollow.

“I’m not playing this game with you, Vernon!” you said, temper flaring. “If there’s a problem, you’re going to have to use your words and tell me.”

“I said there’s no problem,” he repeated, cool and even. Something inside you snapped tight, painful. You could feel it all coming to a boil right before your eyes - the way the boundaries had been shifting, the way he’d called you jagi, the way he’d looked when you’d walked away. It terrified you, made you want to show your claws, and it was infuriating that he was icing you out when you were ready to draw blood.

“Vernon!” you cried. “I cannot deal with this little apathy game anymore! I need you to engage here. I need you to care about something, and not just give me this expressionless, emotionless -”

“Care about something?” he thundered, wheeling on you. It startled you into silence. “That’s bullshit. Because I have been caring about you way more than I should, for ages now, and look what fucking good it’s done for me.”

Stunned, you blinked at him. Your heart pounded painfully, and your thoughts felt staticky and unclear. You needed to get away from him; you needed to process this in silence.

Finally, you spoke, your voice coming out tiny. “I’m going home.”

Vernon rolled his eyes, slapped his hand down to grab at his phone. “I’ll take you.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want you to.”

He ignored this, picking up his keys. “I said I’ll take you. It’s fine.”

You shouldn’t have followed him to the car. You shouldn’t have assumed he’d be mad for a few weeks and then get over it again, just like you two had done more than once now.

He drove you in silence, his face coming in fragmented pieces as he passed under streetlights. You were watching him, silently, when he finally spoke again.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he said, still perfectly even.

Tears sprang to your eyes before you’d even processed the sentence, something inside you reacting before your brain really knew what you were reacting to.

“What?” you asked. “Why?”

You knew why.

He just kept driving.

“Pull over,” you demanded, suddenly furious, suddenly terrified, suddenly realizing you were losing him, right now, in real time.

He ignored you, didn’t even glance over at you.

“Vernon, I want to talk about this, pull over!” you cried, leaning forward in your seat, the seat belt tightening on your shoulder. “Pull over!”

Eventually, he listened, flicking on his turn signal and slowing as the car bumped off the pavement and onto the dirt shoulder.

“What?” he asked flatly, finally turning to face you.

“I asked why,” you said, heat laced through your voice.

He shook his head. “I’ve wasted two years with you -”

“Wasted?” you echoed, feeling the word like a punch to the gut. You felt like you couldn’t inhale.

“Well?” he asked, as if to say, well, wasn’t it?

“Fuck you, Vernon,” you spat.

“Fuck me is right!” he yelled, loud in the enclosed space of the sedan. “What are we doing? Just fucking, for eternity?”

You blinked at him. “You never asked me for anything else!”

“I tried,” he growled.

“Like hell you tried!”

“I did,” he asserted. “You ran, scared, every time.”

“Of course I was scared,” you snapped, because you couldn’t deny that one for a second. Your voice comes out choked. “I was right to be scared, and you know it!”

“Why?” he asked, the question falling between you, a landmine.

“Because,” you said seriously, the first tear finally falling. “This only ends one way.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked away from you, out the windshield again. Then, he clicked on his turn signal again, shifted the car back into drive, and pulled back onto the highway.

“Yeah,” he said flatly, as the car met even pavement again. “You’re making sure of that, aren’t you?”

<- Prev | Next ->

thank you so much for reading! one chapter left to go!

[theaxolotlkween]

Next up is Caesar Salazar, or as I spell it for this redesign, César Salazar because just. Just look at him. He looks more like a César.

His actual design in the show has never made any sense to me because it doesn't really tell anything about him as a character, and as a character he is extremely silly. And in flashbacks he wears a nice shirt and tie and neither of his looks scream silly but unintentionally dangerous science guy, which is his character. I feel like my design does a good job with making him the kind of guy that if Van Kleiss said that you couldn’t trust him, you’d go “really??? This guy???”

César also reads as autistic to me so I essentially just defaulted to my signature silly autistic guy design thing and gave him sweatpants with little to no other clothes that actually go with sweatpants. I swear I’m not trying to project, sometimes characters just have the vibe of something I would do. I also gave him a LEGO brick shaped chewing stim necklace because I thought it would be cool to have a little thing that neurodivergent people tend to use as a sort of “I know what you are” thing.

I tried to keep his colour scheme close-ish because it does fit him pretty nicely, but obviously with a big fluffy cardigan instead of whatever his outfit is. Tiny little fun fact, I did actually make him and Rex have slightly different skin tones. Colour pick them, I dare you. You cannot convince me that César has ever seen the sun. The doodle of their whole family was a way for me to sort out what traits César and Rex get from each parent while still making them look very obviously like brothers. Also I think it’s pretty cute.

Now the biggest thing to me in César’s redesign is that he seemed like the kind of guy who would wear socks with either crocs or sandals in a lab setting, because César and lab safety are mutually exclusive concepts. It also gives him an easy-access chancla to smack his unruly experiments. The idea is that it could potentially lead to a running gag that every scientist he’s ever worked with has gotten super pissed off that he doesn’t wear covered shoes in a lab setting and he doesn’t see why he has to and just. Keeps doing it. The mental image of Van Kleiss especially losing it and going off on an off the rails rant when he realises that César is STILL not adhering to basic lab safety is absolutely hilarious to me.

I feel like I put a little more conscious thought into his design than Dr Holiday’s, but the design I have for Dr Holiday just felt correct and it just popped into my head as it was. Next in the design thing is going to be Circe. It might take a minute because even though I have come up with a design for her in the past it needs a bit of tweaking.

prev || next || masterpost

[creations-of-the-dreamlight]

𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽

Pinned is getting redone! Leaving all info up just ignore the prettiness level as of rn lol

༘˚⋆ T . O . C ｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

⊹ About Me

⊹ Byf + Dni

⊹ Roleplay info

⊹ Fandom List

⊹ Au + ocs Masterposts

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ About Me ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

╭┈┈┈┈╮ ⭑ Astro/Astra, Starlight/Star, Eclipse, Celeste, Paradise + kin names (as of now, Jinx and Draco)

⭑ it/he/they/starlight/bun + other neos

⭑ 18, white American

⭑ Main Blog/follows from: @th3-l1ght6 | Other Sideblogs: @dreamlight-muses (roleplay/muse blog), @mo0nlit-d4ydr34m (mogai+lgbtq blog), @astralautism1 (Autism + mental health blog), @lightway-st1ms (stim/aesthetic acc)

⭑ Tags: #Dreamlight.Writing - Fic Tag, #TB:TOH au - King Angst fic tag, ╰┈┈┈┈╯

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ bfy + dni ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

【☆】 BYF ⭑ This is a multifandom shitpost blog. I post ocs, occasionally fanfic and art, and any random ideas that I get.

⭑ I am 18, and I sometimes post 18+ content, typically without warning. I will try to keep anything NSFW under a cut and w/ a warning but do not expect it. Topics typically include: smut, drugs, relationship violence. If you are sensitive to these please leave.

⭑ Ships are fictional, and can only cause harm when someone is deliberately using a ship/media (regardless of what content is involved) to harm someone- which isn’t the fault of the ship or media but the person using it to harm. Ship what you want, I don’t care, it’s not my problem. For a lack of a better word, I am proship.

⭑ I believe in hazard consent (link for info), Incluspunk (link for info), and plur (link for info)

⭑ I will complain about fandom shit on my account, and I will typically leave it untagged. If you see me complaining about something- It's just how I feel, and my feelings+opinions do not dictate if a media/ship is 'good' or 'valid'. With that being said, I am not a fan of heavy shipcourse, especially if it's with intention to harass, bully, or get someone off the platform for their ship. No one should be hurt for a ship.

⭑ I do not make post id's but will provide one upon request.

【☆】 DNI ⭑ Block don't report

⭑ I cannot stop nor do I care to stop if people like/reblog my content while they are on my DNI. All I ask is that if you are on my DNI, please don’t try to talk directly to me or follow me.

⭑ general Dni (homophobic, racist, ableist, etc), radqueer, truscum, transmeds + sysmeds, anti-ship. Wilbur Soot and Iskall apologist.

⭑ Blank Blog and Bots will be blocked. Minors preferably dni.

⭑ I block/delete unwanted comments freely.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ roleplay information ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ REQUESTS : ASK FIRST

⭑ I do not roleplay smut. Do not ask. I will block immediately if you do.

⭑ I am ok with 18+ RP (aside from ^^ ofc), but please discuss topics with me beforehand.

⭑ I will not start a roleplay immediately- please talk and plan things out with me.

⭑ Things I need prior to starting an RP: Fandom(s), Characters we are playing (main + side), what topics you’d want to engage with, potential triggers + things to avoid, general idea for a plot, schedules + timezones to discuss when we will be rping

⭑ If I do not schedule a time to RP then responses will be spaced as I am busy. It will be easier and more efficient to plan times to rp beforehand.

⭑ Generally don’t care about what level you write at, but please be literate and have semi-good grammar. I try to keep my responses over 4-5 lines of text unless the situation calls for less.

⭑ Please be willing to work with me! I want the RP to be 50/50- I wanna fulfill all your ideas as much as I want mine to be fulfilled, so lets work together and talk about it.

⭑ Ship RP + gen RP is all good with me, love oc’s and rewrites, I am chill with canon and non-canon but I may not be as canon as wanted. I don’t have a designated list of what fandoms/characters I will rp, but if I am not familiar enough then I will decline. If it’s not on the list below, I definitely won’t. Full original RP is cool, too.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ Fandoms ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ Key : Italics = big au/fic idea/ocs, bold = hyperfixation, Colored = current special interest/past special interest/Comfort Media, strike through = not caught up, plz no spoils :3 || This is just a big list of what I like- I will make this it’s own post at some point, alongside my aus and masterlist hopefully. Not guaranteed to post ab every single one of these, but if you ever wanna talk ab them I am your guy.

Tv + Movies: Steven Universe, The Owl House, Arcane, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, The Gaslight District, The Amazing Digital Circus, Murder Drones, Atlas and the Stars, Gravity Falls, Nimona, Ghosts (bbc and us), Harry Potter, My Babysitters a Vampire, Our Flag Means Death, Bobs Burgers, Rick and Morty Camp Camp, I Saw the TV Glow, Ever After High, Monster High, Into+Across the Spiderverse, Nightmare before Christmas, In a Heartbeat, Bluey, RWBY, Disney, Jujutsu Kaisen, ID:Invaded, Dandadan, Drifting Dragons, Kakegurui,

Games: Little Nightmares, Slime Rancher, Fnaf, Minecraft, Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, Zenless Zone Zero, Sally Face, Fran Bow, Bendy, Poppy Playtime, Undertale, Cult of the Lamb Danganronpa, Monument Valley, Dnd, Sims 4, Creatures of Sonaria, What Remains of Edith Finch, Subnautica, Reanimal, Night in the Woods, Cookie Run, Broken Age

Other: MY OC/PARACOSM/ORIGINAL WORK!! MCYT (Ldshadowlady, Grian, Smallishbeans, Goodtimewithscar, Geminitay, Mumbo, currently trying to get into/back into Etho, Cubfan, ZombieCleo, Inthelittlewood, SolidarityGaming, Ranboo, Tommyinnit, and Tubbo. Specific smps, not caught up w any: Hermitcraft- 10+8+9+7+6-, Empires, Life Series), Dream Catchers, Hope Kids,

Things I like by proxy of boyfriend + friends but am not rlly into: Cyberpunk, My Little Pony, Elden Ring

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ Au’s + Masterlists (WIP) ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

Hellaverse- ꩜ (Eva, Vision, and Vixen introduction, V+V nocolor ref sheets), Stolitz Writing Headcanons,

Poppy Playtime - Doey Headcanons

The Owl House - TB:TOH au masterpost

Drarry stuff - Draco’s Secret, Runaway Draco au, Chrimmy edition, Harry meets Draco before Hagrid idea Drabble

‘Deaths Gift’ Harry Potter au - Intro post, Rehka sketch

Hermitcraft/TrafficSMP - Mumbos Marvelous Machines (mumscarian au), MMM hc list, Life Winner Eye HC, (Slime) Rancher Duo fanart, Undertale x LifeSMP, <- sketches,

No Hope Kids: Master post/explanation, Chapter One, Chapter Two,

Dnd: Umene art dump, Umene ref sheet, Muse ref sheet, Unzi art dump,

Misc - Spiderverse oc poem, unfinished Salvis smut, transfem Jax x Gangle microfic, Raspberry x Chili Pepper Au, JjkxMHA timeline, Sasara Saito/Mibuya Origin, SU Diamond ocs, “Barbara, The Queen.” Stranger Things au, “I Will Always be Above You,” Florence x Celia DE! microfic,

Oc prompts - Italian and Korean fusion Chef Grandmas, Time Travelling Dj, Multidimensional oc maker, Magician + Invis! Sidekick, Musical polyam ship prompt, lesser omniglot, Stoner god, Facecam Mind-Reader, Mr. Truesight,

Empires rewatch list (this link is for me so I don’t lose it lmao)

:3 If anyone has any tips on how to make a masterlist of an au (or rlly how to start posting about an au at all) plz hmu! I also hope to make an oc masterlist at some point. Most of what I have linked here rn is more for me than anything else lol

(dm if you need post/image IDs or have further questions)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have any chronic pain/illness fanfiction?

Hey Nonny!

I DO! I made a list awhile ago! Any Chronic Pain fics I have are on this Chronic Illness Mini Masterpost, plus these other ones on my MFL list with the tag:

The Joys Of Onanism by KittieHill (E, 5,102 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, For Science, Patient John, Overwhelmed Sherlock, Mutual Masturbation, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Virgin Sherlock, Loving John, Intense / Multiple Orgasms) – “The man was almost seventy! He had chronic heart disease. He could have had a heart attack whilst having a shit!” John scoffed. “It's no worse for you than a brisk walk.” “Prove it,” Sherlock insisted, eyes focussed entirely on John. “Prove what?” John asked. “That I won't die from wanking?” “No – That – must you be so crude?” Sherlock complained. “That an edged masturbation session is no worse than brisk walking. Prove it.” “And how do you expect me to do that?” John frowned, picking up his water and drinking it again.

A Chronic Condition by Calais_Reno (T, 5,238 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Fix It, Falling in Love, Deception, Love Confessions, Jealousy, Fluffy, Chronic Illness, Hypochondria, Medical Procedures, Doctor John, POV Limited Third Person Sherlock, Fluff and Humour) – John is not unique. Most of the time he says and does ordinary things, but occasionally he says or does something so brilliant that it takes the air right out of Sherlock’s lungs. It’s that one percent— his little contributions at crime scenes— that’s what’s brilliant. OR: Sherlock is jealous. Part 21 of Just Johnlock

Positive by whitchry9 (T, 19,673 w., 32 Ch. || Chronic Illness, HIV/AIDS, Hurt/Comfort, Disease, Friendship) – When John finds out Sherlock is ill, he has to make sure. Really, absolutely sure. And for a while, it's okay, because medicine has advanced to the point where Sherlock isn't going to die any time soon. But when Sherlock takes a sharp downward turn, he asks John to do one last thing for him.

What Spring Does With Cherry Trees by tomlinsoul (E, 30,443 w., 3 Ch. || Canon Divergence AU || Post-TRF, Established Relationship, Fibromyalgia, Physical Disability, Mobility Aids, Ableism, Medical Trauma, Medical Procedures, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Crying, Hospitals, Protective John, Dom/Sub Undertones, Chronic Pain, Hurt / Vulnerable Sherlock) – 18 months into his new and settled romance with John, Sherlock faces a new challenge when he develops debilitating symptoms that leave him in more than a few tricky situations. Luckily, his doctor happens to be rather devoted to him.

The Half-Life Of Morphine Series by VanStock1992 (T to E, 74,612+ w. across 8 works || Series WiP || Post S4, PTSD, Sherlock Whump, Chronic Pain / Illness, Permanent Injury, Protective Mycroft, Parentlock, Big Brother Mycroft, Doctor John, Physical Disability, Wheelchairs, John's Anger Issues, Depression, Guilt, Implied / Referenced Drug Abuse, Hospitalization, Surgery, Food Issues) – An injury that leads to nerve damage brings John and Sherlock's lives to a screeching halt, and leaning on their family and friends is the only way they will make it through. In which Sherlock is an incredibly engaged father, Rosie has special needs, and John struggles to find his place without the identity of a blogger, a doctor, or a solider.

0.2% by Xenay (T, 136,214 w., 90 Ch. || Post S4, POTS / Sick Fic, Chronic Illness / Autoimmune Disease, Exercise Intolerance, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Autistic Sherlock, Neurodiversity, Headaches / Migraines, Neuropathy, Nausea / Vomiting, Angst, Dissociation, Medical Gaslighting, Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviour, Smoking, Aphasia, Minor Character Death, Stim Toys, Family Drama) – You don't know devastation until you get diagnosed with something that has no cure.

-----

Feel free too add more, my friends!

[scatterpatter]

"Where's the essay OP" Said no one, and yet here I am

Lampy isn't stupid, he's neruodivergent: a rushed-together masterpost

Disclaimer: I'm not a liscened medical professional but I'm neurodivergent who's close to many neurodivergent people so I know when certain traits strike me as very familiar... Also tblt is my comfort movie I've seen it probably over 100 times, not exaggerating, so if anyone here's an expert on it, it's me.

I'm only going by the first movie because while To The Rescue and Goes To Mars probably have evidence to back me up, I don't feel like sitting down to watch them as I don't have them as memorized as the original

Point #1: Lampy is arguably the most intelligent appliance in the movie

Honestly it apalls me that so many are convinced that Lampy is an idiot when he displays some of the most intelligent traits in the movie. I'll just list off some of the most important scenes that show this

1: When discussing a way to get to the city, Lampy comes up with plans that end up failing, true. But we should also consider that not only did Radio and Toaster come up with bad plans before deciding on the swivel chair, but 2/3 of Lampy's ideas involved the same mechanic: on something with wheels(yes the mattress had wheels for some reason) being powered by Kirby

2: "From here you can see the really big lamp!" This scene is simply due to the appliances being sheltered from the outside world. Lampy displays the same level of naive-ness as everyone else: Radio seems earnest in calling the sun a "really big lamp", and Kirby calls the grass "shag carpet". Lampy is not at a lower intelligence in this scene, he's exactly at the same level as everyone else

3: The scene with the storm really sells his intelligence. The appliances have a rudimentary understanding of electricity, most likely from being appliances, but Lampy displays an excelled level of understanding by sacrificing himself for the battery. He understands that batteries are powered by electricity, lightning is electricity, and by using himself as a lightning rod, he acts as the conductive metal to easily transfer this energy from the bolt to the battery. Technically this should have overcharged and fried the battery but we'll suspend disbelief for the sake of this movie.

4: He knew that stacking the appliances to roughly human height, creating a dark environment with ominous sounds, and putting Toaster at eye-level to scare the human with his own reflection... Again, this is an intelligent understanding of how to scare a human

5: It's unclear on whose idea it was to look up Rob in a phone book, however this shows that not only can Lampy read(most likely picked up from being Rob's reading light), ESPECIALLY when Toaster struggles to read, but also has an understanding of phone books, addresses, and finding humans based on family names. I cannot stress how intelligent this is for a sentient desk lamp

There's a few more minor examples, but these are the biggest cases. Lampy is intelligent.

Point #2: Lampy struggles with social cues and doesn't empathize as easily as others

My biggest point here is when people think neruodivergents are "dumb" for having trouble picking up on things like sarcasm when that just... isn't the case. A few notable examples include:

1: When Air Conditioner says "You're a real bright little lamp", Lampy doesn't pick up the sarcasm and thinks he's being complimented. Though he definitely shows a level of emotional intelligence because he looks to Toaster to confirm "hey I was complimented", sees they're still looking angry, and gets the hint that he was insulted without someone needing to explicitly tell him that, to which he then responds with "Heyyy >:("

2: Sometimes he's able to read the room and pick up on tones, but other times he shows a level of emotional density. Legitimately not knowing if Rob had returned even when seeing Blanky disappointed to the point of near tears... But then knowing "brains wouldnt hurt either" was a jab at their intelligence and reacting with appropriate annoyance... But also when Radio says "Things could be worse!", doesn't realize he's just saying that to make Toaster feel better and asks "How could they be worse?"

3: He bullies Blanky alongside Radio and the others, unclear if he's actually being a jerk or just "oh this is what everyone else is doing so this is the normal way to act", but he's legitimately confused when Toaster tries to explain why they're suddenly being nice to him. He doesn't get the "now I feel better" argument because his argument was "Well you were never this nice to him before". Even when Toaster tries to explain why it feels nice, it just doesn't click... until Toaster finds a way to explain that connects personally to Lampy's own emotional state. He has trouble empathizing until realizing "oh this is like this thing that I feel sometimes"

4: Something I've noticed when gathering evidence is that more than once, Lampy goes "Wow..." After someone gloats about themself(Twice with Radio, once with the Computer). It's clear by the third time, when Radio goes "What does that mean?" And Lampy responds "I don't know. [To Computer] What does that mean?" That he doesn't even know what's being gloated about, let alone why he should be impressed. He has the emotional intelligence to recognize when someone's gloating and the "appropriate" response of amazement, but it seems like it never comes from a place of earnest. (While Neurotypicals can and do engage in "performative" behavior, I tend to notice this way more commonly with neurodivergents)

Also the "wow..." Performative thing is VERY reminiscent of Peridot from Steven Universe(a characters who many autistic fans see themselves in and the creator herself saying she doesn't consider Peridot or any of the gems to be neurotypical) going "wow thanks" as her default "this is how I've been taught to show gratitude" response

Point #3: Miscellaneous traits that could be neurodivergent

These traits COULD be interpreted as neurodivergent, but I will admit they could also be interpreted as something else so like take these with a grain of salt

1: Lampy appears to have sensory needs. When sleeping, he needs to tap a rock a few times(presumably to make sure it's "right") before clonking his head on it. It's interesting because rocks aren't a very "lamp" thing whatsoever, and none of the other appliances look for pillow-ish objects to rest on, so this could be a sensory thing.

2: Lampy has an interesting vocal quirk: repetition of phrases at the beginning and end of a sentence. Instances include "How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?" "All of a sudden you're being so darn nice to him all of a sudden" "The fact is there's just not enough facts" The third one is a bit of a stretch but the first two seem to indicate a possible pattern of speech. Part of me wants to say this could be a verbal tic or some type of verbal stimming, but I've never met anyone who has a tic or stim like this so I can't say it's a neurodivergent thing with confidence, but I wanted to mention this quirk regardless.

3: Physically saying how he feels. Two instances where multiple characters are laughing, Lampy speaks while laughing "That's funny - I'm dying!" "I'm aching with joy!". It's just interesting that no one else speaks while laughing and for whatever reason, Lampy needs to verbalize "Yes I find this very funny" as if simply laughing along isn't enough. I've seen somewhat similar stuff in neurodivergents who have issues expressing emotions implicitly so they state them explicitly instead.

4: I've noticed Lampy isn't touchy... except with Radio. Some neurodivergent people can have issues with physical contact, which could explain that. But I've also noticed that Radio also gives me huge neurodivergent vibes... But more importantly Radio is extremely touchy with everyone, Lampy included, hence them often getting into physical fights but also just- tapping them or wrapping a cord around the other and pulling him close(they're so in love but that's a post on its own). A possible explanation is Lampy having issues with touching others, but either feels comfortable being touchy with Radio(due to emotional bonds and trust) or simply recognizes "Radio likes being touchy so I should be touchy back". A stretch of an argument, I'll admit, but I think the interpretation is there and valid.

In conclusion

I mean idk if Lampy was written to be neurodivergent or if the writers just wanted him to be "quirky" and accidentally gave him a lot of neurodivergent traits, but he reads as very neurodivergent to me(probably autistic or adhd but I'm not a professional and can't diagnose him). But while I can chalk up neruodivergency being one of many possible interpretations of his character, I WILL argue that he's not "stupid" given the evidence we see throughout the movie

Tl;Dr: Lampy is evidently intelligent, but sometimes struggles with social cues, empathy, and overall shows numerous traits of neurodivergency

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Autistic Hiccup x ADHD Anna Headcanons

SO I’ve been really into the whole Autistic x ADHD ship dynamic and Hiccanna...highkey fits??? Like y’all know I will die on my “Anna has ADHD” hill, but after reading this post by @hobie-brown I’m like wait, the autistic Hiccup headcanon is wonderful too??? And blends SO WELL with ADHD Anna??? And I absolutely HAD to explore it more so BOOM headcanon time! Another special thanks to @hobie-brown for writing the super lovely autistic Hiccup headcanon masterpost that inspired me to do this!

Disclaimer: I myself am not on the spectrum (part of the reason I’ve always felt a little weird about definitively HCing characters as autistic unless I see actual autistic people HC them that way too), so most of the stuff here is stuff I know secondhand from my autistic friends! I do have ADHD, so I can always promise that ADHD Anna will be 100% authentic XD

~Anna absolutely gets into Hiccup’s special interests to try and impress him. The most obvious one being, of course, dragons, but also dinosaurs (extinct dragons), lizards (tiny dragons), and Dungeons and Dragons (An RPG game that does, in fact, include dragons). Hiccup absolutely had that dragonology book as a kid and got obsessed with it beyond all reasonability. Hilariously, Anna’s wooing strategy of indulging his special interests works like a charm--mainly because a) he’s pretty flattered that someone takes THAT much of an interest in what he likes and b) half the time, ANNA finds that she genuinely gets into whatever said special interest is and finds them easy to hyperfixate on. It helps that the more she obsesses over it herself, the more she has to talk to Hiccup about XD

~Specifically, Anna definitely joins a DnD campaign at some point so that Hiccup will think she’s a “cool gamer girl”--and then gets unironically obsessed with it and starts writing 10-page backstories for all of her characters. She later tells Hiccup it started out as a ruse to win his heart via nerdiness, and he absolutely loses his shit laughing.

~One of their overlapping special interests/hyperfixations is high fantasy. Hiccup is, unsurprisingly, all about the mythical creatures while Anna is more into the magic and the zesty political drama, but you dun best believe they catch every CGI-ridden fantasy movie that ever comes out. They’ve both spent a literal fortune on fantasy movie tickets, even moreso on watching them in 3D or Imax. How embarrassing for both of them.

~Another less-obvious overlapping interest is history. Hiccup gets into it while looking into the cultural mythos of dragons (he’s pretty fascinated by the fact that so many cultures around the world thought up similar creatures independently), while Anna gets into it because she grew up cooped up bored and lonely in a big house, and entertained herself by looking into the history behind some of the family paintings. They don’t seem it at first, but they’re actually both huge medieval and ancient civilization history buffs.

~Hiccup is THE most touch-repulsed person you will ever meet. This is unfortunate, as he is also SUPER touch-starved and absolutely does not realize it (I mean, I’ve never gotten the vibe Stoic was the super huggy type, considering his and Hicc’s relationship in HTTYD 1). This means he has absolutely no fucking clue what to make of Anna when they first meet meet. Anna’s the sort of person to give physical affection pretty freely, especially if she likes you--usually in the form of hugs, arm pats or playful swats, putting her elbow on your shoulder, etc etc. Hiccup is kinda just like “this is way too much touching but like??? I kinda like having her this close to me??? What do???”

~Anna, meanwhile, notices that Hiccup kinda stiffens up whenever she touches him and seems to not be crazy about it and she’s just immediately like “yo what’s wrong???” And as SOON as he admits he’s not all that crazy about being touched randomly she’s like “OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY” and never touches him without asking again.

~As soon as she finds out touch a kind of A Whole Thing for him, Anna is like...AGGRESSIVELY respectful of Hiccup’s boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Almost annoyingly so. She gets in the habit of basically never initiating any kind of physical touch without asking first--even long after they’ve started dating, and he’s told her it’s okay to initiate touching as long as she’s not smothery about it. She still refuses out of principle.

~They come up with a kind of “consent language” so Anna can pretty quickly determine when it’s all right to touch Hiccup--because Anna still really likes being physically affectionate with him, and he does actually like receiving physical affection a lot of the time (because, again, touch-starved), he’s just choosy about who does it. They work out a system based off of small, light touches that Hiccup doesn’t mind where it’s basically 2 taps on his shoulder for “can I hug you around the neck,” 2 taps on his side for “can I hug you around the waist,” 2 taps on his arm for “can I grab/lightly slap/punch your arm,” and 1 tap on is shoulder for “can I put my arm/elbow on your shoulder.” If he’s cool with it he’ll either nod or just say “yeah go ahead.” It works a lot quicker than asking “can I do such-and-such specific touch” every single time, and allows Anna to keep some of her spontaneity. They develop this during their friendship and it ends up rolling over into their relationship, even after Hiccup has basically told her she doesn’t need to ask permission for a lot of these anymore. She adds a new one after they start dating--she taps him a couple times wherever she wants to kiss him to ask if it’s cool to give him a smooch! It usually is.

~INFODUMPING. Literally SO. MUCH. INFODUMPING. Hiccup absolutely WILL NOT SHUT UP when he gets to talking about one of his special interests. Anna just will not shut up in general, but when the topic changes to one of her hyperfixations, it’s even worse. If you try to have a conversation with these two while they’re infodumping, you WILL get talked over. Honestly, left to their own devices, they could probably infodump to each other for literal days on end.

~Despite how much they both like to infodump, they’re both pretty good about being patient and indulging the other when it’s their partner’s turn to infodump in the conversation XD They are, however, notorious about accidentally triggering a barely-related infodump in the other person. It’s not uncommon for one of them to finish a rant and then the other goes “OH THAT REMINDS ME” and sets off on a completely different, barely-related rant.

~Hiccup actually really appreciates how overexpressive--and occasionally overdramatic--Anna tends to be. He never has to try and figure out what she’s thinking because she just says everything in her brain, and her body language basically always matches how she’s feeling to a ridiculous extent, so he never has to give himself a headache trying to read her. The fact that she’s the opposite of subtle and has no filter whatsoever works great for him, because he doesn’t have to drive himself insane trying to understand her. He gets her better than he gets most people because she’s an open goddamn book. The boy’s never been the best with social cues at all, never mind the nuanced, obscure ones, so Anna’s general straightforwardness and utter inability to hide her true feelings at literally any time is a breath of fresh air. What you see is basically what you get, and Hiccup wouldn’t have it any other way.

~People think when Anna and Hiccup start dating it’s gonna be a disaster, mainly because he’s so blunt and she can be...”oversensitive” (i.e. has a REALLY bad case of RSD). Turns out they’re dead wrong--because Hiccup has RSD too! (I mean, come ON--look how BADLY he wants to get his village’s approval! And how hard he takes it when his dad or someone else is mad at him--even if he tries to hide it with snark) He’s actually one of the few people who can be blunt enough with Anna that she realizes when she’s being a dumbass but tactful enough not to hurt her feelings or set off her RSD--because god, has he been there. When Anna is being especially difficult and has worked herself into a real bad funk, Hiccup (and sometimes Elsa) is the only people who can talk to her and get through to her without getting blown up at.

~They stim in similar ways!!! They both tend to fidget or kinda bounce up in down in place as a way to comfort themselves and calm themselves down (I see them both having a lot of anxiety and generally being kind of paranoid, although Anna is MUCH better at hiding this via putting on a cheerful face). They both do the leg bounce!!! Also if they get SUPER excited they’ll do a little awkward happy dance!!! They both also tend to stim by rubbing things in small, repetitive motions--with Hiccup, it’s usually his sketching pens, his ear, his head, or the back of his neck, while with Anna, it’s usually her other hand, her arm, her clothes, or really anything with kind of a comforting, consistent texture (some favorites are rubber, felt, and velvet). After they start dating, they actually will stim with each other’s hands while holding hands--usually by squeezing the other person’s hand in kind of a repetitive pattern or doing the thumb-rub thing on the back of the other person’s hand. It’s not uncommon for them to each be doing something completely unrelated while holding hands and just stimming on each other’s hands the entire time. Anna especially really loves when she feels Hiccup stimming on her, because it’s her little indicator that he’s happy and feels at peace and content in her presence and she LOVES being able to do that for him!

~They both stim by playing with hair too! Anna likes to play with her own to stim--mainly by figeting with the end of her braids or tucking hair behind her ear. She DOES love to ruffle Hiccup’s hair too (and she LOVES how fluffy it is!), but it’s usually not a stim thing. After they start dating, Anna does occasionally stim by massaging Hiccup’s hair/scalp, but she doesn’t usually do it for very long. Hiccup really loves braiding Anna’s hair, or just playing with it when it’s down. it helps him relax and clear his mind to have something fairly repetitive and/or mindless to do.

~Even after gaining some confidence, Hiccup still has a fair bit of social anxiety, so he and Anna basically always go to parties and social events together and stick with each other the whole time to make it less intimidating for him. Hiccup generally prefers to let Anna do the talking when they chat with people, and sometimes if he’s REALLY nervous he’ll sometimes even let her kinda talk for him (not in a condescending “speaking over” kinda way, but more in like a “I can sense you’re not comfortable speaking here so I’ll help you out as best I can” kinda way). She always makes sure to leave space in the conversation for him to take over talking if he wants. She’s also incredibly prone to bragging about his accomplishments to basically everyone they know. Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this.

~When Anna finds out about meltdowns (probably through Hiccup mentioning it kind of offhandedly--“Eh, sorry I went AWOL last night, I was having a bit of a meltdown. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now.”) she lowkey gets super anxious and frustrated because she REALLY wants to help, but has no idea how. Cue literal HOURS of research on the internet and AGGRESSIVE memorizing of any and all tips that she reads that she thinks would help. Which, of course, means several MORE hours spent going over flashcards like she’s studying for a goddamn test, because Anna has never been known for her sharp, expansive memory.

~The first time Hiccup ever has a meltdown in front of her (maybe after a really bad phone fight with his dad or something? Just general sensory overload?), she takes him to a secluded room and IMMEDIATELY gets rid of anything that could be agitating sensory-wise. She dims the lights! She closes the blinds! She throws a nearby clock, an alarm, a timer, and several other objects with only the slightest potential of making an annoying noise out of a nearby window in a fit of passion! She goes on a frenzied quest to find Hiccup’s noise-cancelling headphones--and finishes it in record time! Even in a state of emotional turmoil, Hiccup realizes that Anna’s being just a little too methodical in how she goes about all this--these are the kind of things that wouldn’t ever occur naturally to her to do. So as soon as he calms down a bit and has screamed into a pillow for a while, he’s like “...did you go on the internet to look up how to help with meltdowns?” and Anna’s like “...yes?” And Hiccup is lowkey so touched he starts crying all over again...and then, naturally, makes a long string of snarky comments to try and distract from it XD

~For their anniversary Anna saves up a bunch and buys Hiccup a lizard and a terrarium!!! She gets him a crocodile skink because, I quote, “Well, they always look annoyed, they’re kinda shy, they don’t like to be touched, and they look like tiny dragons, so they reminded me of you!!!” Hiccup screams like a goddamn fangirl, he’s SO excited. As luck would have it, Hiccup’s crocodile skink is a lot less skittish and prone to hiding than they usually are, and he actually lets Hiccup pick him up and pet him without much issue. Which is honestly great, because repeatedly touching something smooth and even like lizard scales helps calm Hiccup down when he’s agitated and helps with some of his sensory issues.

~Probably goes without saying, but Hiccup basically NEVER genuinely gives Anna a hard time about her memory problems or how she’s not always the quickest on the uptake, and if anyone tries to call her annoying, dumb, or immature he will absolutely roast them into oblivion. He does sometimes like...lightly tease her about jumping into things without thinking or never shutting up, but he never pushes it if he can tell she’s genuinely bothered by it (and, again, Anna is very easy to read, so it’s not hard to tell XD)

~I’ve seen other people in the fandom HC either Hiccup, Anna, or both of them as BOTH autistic and ADHD, and honestly...fuck yes!!! I’m down for this too! I love the idea of these two disaster ND kids just vibing with each other on so many damn levels that it’s like...incomprehensible to the average human XD Like man, they fuckin GET each other!!! I’m pretty happy with most combinations of ADHD + Autistic headcanons for Anna and Hiccup, so long as they end up vibing!!!

~THEY JUST. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. THEY LITERALLY WOULD DIE FOR EACH OTHER. I AM SURE OF IT. I’M CRYING. 

[babysizedfics]

Headcanons Masterpost 1

constantly being updated - last edit 13 Sep 2020 

Please do not reblog!

Bold headcanons are my personal faves!

STORY STUFF

Important:

Character history (NEEDS TO BE UPDATED)| Characters’ ages | Character heights | The physics of the mindscape | The mindscape being like real life | Plus virgil's reaction to it

This AU is not necessarily canon compliant

Why Roman is an age dreamer not an age regressor (and why that’s important) | But he has experienced regression | Why Virgil left the dark sides 

Misc:

Characters’ allergies (Plus, Virgil not being honest about his allergy when he first moved in)

CUTE STUFF

Virgil:

Baby keys | Soft food | Accidentally slapping Patton’s glasses off | Fussy baby waking up crying | Brother bonding over minecraft | Hiding how much he regresses when Patton first becomes his CG | Being carried by Mama and Papa | Wearing the caregivers’ sweatshirts | Getting giggly during nursery rhymes | Stealing sweaters | Dresses | Vee loves rain! | Lisping when he hasn't regressed in a while | Rawr | warm blankie from the dryer

Showing the CGs his new dress (art plus HC)

Video of a baby otter drinking from a bottle and we talk about it being like baby vee!!!

Roman:

Protective big bro | Pillow fort | Messy hair | Sad drawings (happy ending) | Throwing himself out of bed to get a cuddle | Acting younger for attention | Doing Logan’s hair | Not being able to sleep and asking Mommy to read to him | Late night sugar rush | Stuttering | Getting hurt and being a brave boy | Codeword for Virgil regressing | Fluffy Roman headcanons | More protective Roman and brother bonding | Gently teasing his brother | More harmless teasing | Real puppy vs. Summoned puppy | stuffie shows to cheer up vee | More fluffy Roman headcanons

Logan: 

Logan reading stories | Sleepy lullabies | Dr Mama’s stuffie hospital | Trying to teach the boys | Migraines and cuddles from roman | countdown til vee regresses (with tickles)

respectable driving on mario kart | deadpan humor

Patton:

Diaper changes | Singing the theme songs of the boys’ favourite little shows | Patton can’t craft |  Barriers and kissing tolls | Patton finding Vee's secret little memories box | Random soft Patton things | Pat-pat came before papa | Pictures of his family and putting drawings up on the fridge | letting vee nibble his finger

Janus:

 Singing a German lullaby and making Logan jealous |  Vee stims with Janus’ scales and Roman steals his hat | Crafting for his new family | Funny little fibs

Remus

Trying to give Roman candy

Multiple:

Pacifiers |  The boys’ nighlights | Little snacks | Little shows | CGs singing | Puddles, baking, reading, stuffies, and birthdays | Little outfits | Tantrums | Little drinks | Chalk patio drawings | Brotherly nail painting | Little playlists | Playing in a pool | More pool | Babygates | Everyone is overprotective of Virgil | Mom and Dad dressing more like a Mom and Dad | Random headcanons | Surprise garden wedding | Playing with toy cars | Caregiver voices | Sippy cups and milk bottles |  Roman and Logan connect with K’NEX | Rilakkuma hyperfixations | CGs sing Pooh lullabies to Vee | Baking and math | the longest the boys have been little plus big virgil with little roman | if they went to an aquarium

Thomas feeling random bouts of happiness when the sides have cute moments | everyone's mario kart characters

[cripplecharacters]

hello! I'm writing a fantasy story & I want to include a few autistic-coded characters. however I'm not autistic & I don't want any of my coding to come off as ableist or offensive stereotypes. So could you give me examples of traits I could give the characters that would still clearly show they are autistic & maybe things I should *not* do to avoid writing them as bad stereotypes? also, if you could rec any blogs that help specifically with writing autistic characters, I'd be grateful! thank u!

Here’s some links-

http://autisticliving.tumblr.com/post/152683908481/what-is-autism

https://rjalker.tumblr.com/post/168244862294/okay-rule1-for-writing-autistic-characters-the

http://taptrial2.tumblr.com/post/158912018935/writing-an-autistic-character-when-you-are-not

https://scriptautistic.tumblr.com/post/155303430087/so-you-want-to-write-an-autistic-character

http://myautisticpov.com/tagged/Writing-Autistic

https://scriptautistic.tumblr.com/post/165311400662/masterpost-on-calling-characters-autistic

https://autism-asks.tumblr.com (is a good place for learning about autism in general)

i’d probably need more specialized questions (but there are other autistic mods too) but i can say some things to AVOID (but i’m not quite sure how to give a big full explanation without more specific things to target, i’d say that’s a trait but it’s more a dual adhd/autistic thing WHICH if you want to go for is cool too bc they’re often comorbid! anyway i’ll do my best but heeeere, under a cut because i’m long winded,

avoid everything to do with big bang theory and how it writes its gross bs. now, that’s not to say a character can’t behave like the coded character on that- but what you’ll want to do is not play being autistic for laughs. but also don’t treat it as a huge major issue. things to avoid writing: sheldon cooper, atypical, you know? it’s not for quirky laughs. 

try to avoid the ‘autistic character is the smartest prodigy’ troupe or at least have allistic smart people to balance it out. 

some ways you can code a character- maybe have them struggle in social situations, maybe they don’t understand jokes as easily and can’t process conversations as quickly as others, or maybe they butt in on accident with information. maybe they struggle relating to others, but certainly care about them. maybe they have special interests that they will talk about excitedly, or will only share with trusted people but just as happily. maybe they’re nonverbal and use sign language or written language. maybe they will only wear a certain fabric with the texture they like. 

extremely big thing: executive dysfunction. 

very good thing to add: stims! 

each autistic will vary widely, due to it being a spectrum, so you should be able to avoid stereotyping if you write them all as different. for example; one autistic character is stern and a busy body and reads a lot, but still understands figures of speech and tends to speak in incredibly flowery and purple language because big words. they are a bit of a snob and can accidentally offend people without intention, but the friends they make realize they’re actually extremely caring and interested in others, always tagging along, just awkward. when they are dealing with too much sensory input they speak too fast and tend to fiddle with rings as a stim. meanwhile, another autistic character is dreamy and imaginative, often lost in a fantasy world. they love pastels and the feel of grass on their feet and tend to speak in short sentences, but when overwhelmed they go nonverbal. if they get overwhelmed they tend to leave a situation quite suddenly, which can startle people who think they’re always sleepy and dreamy. they don’t enjoy human interaction 24/7 and need a lot of time to recharge unless you’re willing to deal with their soft fickleness. 

traits across the board here are struggles with social situations and responding to sensory overload. people will react extremely differently to those symptoms alone, but they still exist as symptoms. if you have traits you want to show, look at something that a lot of autistic people have and see how it would work for your character. stimming and upset by loud noises? maybe your character starts humming and covering their ears, or maybe they start yelling because it’s upsetting, or maybe they start crying, or maybe they stop the noise, or maybe they leave, or maybe they make another noise because echolalia. don’t limit the ‘loud’ autistic traits to men, girls and nbs can be just as loud and upset and have big meltdowns. people tend to see those as negative traits, but they exist, and you’ll want to represent them as a person reacting to being upset and in pain and overwhelmed, not some brat having a tantrum (as most people do.) i personally want to see more ‘negative’ traits in characters and have it treated like a character is dealing with a lot- meltdowns don’t happen out of nowhere, and are usually in response to immense stress and/or running out of spoons. so maybe look into how meltdowns affect people!

some speech traits, speech is hard, it’s a whole big thing to try and manipulate this body part to make the things you think come out properly. it’s not always an issue ofc, but these are jsut some traits that may happen:

echolalia is when someone repeats words/sounds, sometimes full sentences or just single words, sometimes they’ll be sounds similar to a sound. for example, someones says ‘i like reading spells about animals’ and someone eith echolalia might repeat ‘animals!’ because they like animals. echolalia may happen for many reasons, in autistics it can be a primary form of communication, a way of speaking when burned out, a way of going nonverbal that isn’t 100%, or just how someone starts to talk when things get mixed up. 

stuttering is not uncommon, especially because we tend to speak a LOT and sometimes really fast. words can get gnarled up in the head and have trouble coming out properly for some autistic people. 

autistic people (and adhd people sometimes) can have trouble being concise and will speak in huge blocks of text (if you haven’t already noticed agfsagdkjagfsdhad) 

slow speech, slow pronunciation, lots of pauses and ums, slurring, because speech is just? hard, ESPECIALLY when you’re low spoons and are on the verge of/having a meltdown.

repeating ideas, trying to explain the same thing over again, repetition in general. 

idk if this is normal but i tend to trail off if i think i don’t need to say anything, and gesture at what i’m talking about or just leave it bc i assume it’s understood. if i can speak as little as possible irl, i’m happy. 

being nonverbal. it’s usually not like you don’t understand speech, it’s a thing to read into for specific experiences but a lot of times its like making the words in the head come out the mouth just, won’t. it feels like there’s no connection between brain and mouth. 

pitch jumping! unintentionally getting really loud can happen if you’re excited or just in general. sometimes just not understanding what tone/volume to use is a major issue. someone might make everything sound like a question. 

and now just whatever traits and information i can think of.

-textures now, and sensations. sensory overload is when an autistic person is overwhelmed by the sensory input. heavy overstimulation. it’s extremely upsetting. people who aren’t autistic can get it, but it happens p often with us because of how sensitive we tend to be to sensory input. think about five different loud vocaloid songs with all their many many tunes underneath the main one playing at once, and that’s what sensory overload can feel like. everyone reacts differently, some people scream or cry, some run, some shut down, some start stimming, but the biggest thing is everyone wants to stop being overwhelmed. 

-very good traits: not ok with loud sounds. i could always tell another kid was autistic if they covered their ears during a fire alarm in school bc i did the same thing lol. 

-and no touching is one trait. it’s becoming less ‘common’ but it’s still smth to think about, just not liking being touched. skin against skin can just feel gross, or too much sensation, but some of us (me) just hate being touched. conversely, some of us need gentle touch for comfort, or deep touch- and like heavy blankets or whatnot. service dogs are trained to lean on autistic people or sit on their laps as weight and comfort. we also tend to love animals.

-think about cats. people compare cats to auties a lot because of the similarities between being selective about touch and only accepting it when it feels alright. i really don’t like being compared to cats but person opinion lol, its a good comparison though, because people don’t like cats because they don’t understand that cats just have different body language. cat’s don’t like certain sensations and if they’re uncomfortable with one, they leave or express unhappiness. 

-about eye contact: it can cause extreme dyscomfort or a ‘burning pain’ behind the eyes. it’s very upsetting. conversely, especially if someone was told to do so, we may make EXCESSIVE eye contact to the point of unsettling people. or just stare a lot, but not necessarily at the eyes. 

-general ‘childish’ traits (just don’t treat an autistic character as a child) like liking toys or activities they’re ‘too old’ for. i’d recommend it being portrayed as normal and just a character trait and not weird or creepy (like people tend to do.) 

-FOOD SENSATIONS. being a ‘picky eater’ is EXTREMELY common because bad textures can make your throat just, close up, or you gag. i literally can’t eat applesauce, it makes me gag. which sucks because i love applesauce. bad texture foods are usually refused. sometimes a character could be eating and the brain decides ‘i don’t like this texture anymore’ and guess they’re done eating. speaking of eating, forgetting to eat/wash isn’t uncommon. its hard to remember in the middle of living. 

just avoid treating us as robots or creepy (like onion in su. compare peridot; they’re both coded as autistic but one is less good about it. an onion-esque character is fine in theory; (nonverbal, stares, odd) so long as they don’t act creepy or evil tho, being ‘odd’ is just a HUGE part of being autistic. it’s more how you approach traits than anything. don’t treat an autistic character like they’re less, or creepy, or bad for their symptoms. 

uhhh that’s all i can think of the top my head, there’s other autistic mods who might be able to add on and if you have specific questions i’d be happy to answer those too! i really hope this helps!

-mod amy

[scriptautistic]

Masterpost: On calling characters autistic

Part 3: Hinting

*These techniques can be combined with explicitly calling your character autistic*

Part of the calling characters autistic series

Part 1, “Whether you should explicitly call your character autistic, and how you should go about it” can be found here

Part 2, “What if “autistic” isn't a term that exists in my story?” can be found here

You’ve made it to the end of this series of masterposts!

We started Part 1 by discussing the importance of explicitly calling characters autistic, and have given you lots of strategies to do this -- but sometimes you just can’t make it fit. As we explained in the first part of this masterpost, explicitly calling your autistic characters autistic is usually preferable; however, you might be building up to calling your characters autistic later in the story, or your story might exist in a time or place where the word "autistic" would not be used (for example, in Part 2 we mentioned stories set in the past, before autism was recognised or existed as a term). If you want to hint that your character is autistic - whether or not you reveal their autism later on in the story - here are some ideas:

Use the character’s backstory You can use narration, dialogue, or a flashback to reveal part of your character’s backstory related to autism (without explicitly calling it by its name).  For example, you might mention that your character received disability benefits at some point in their life, used to go to therapy, and received a diagnosis as a child. Or you could mention your that character was not able to speak until a late age, they were bullied for being “different”, and that they used to spend weeks eating the same food constantly. You could also refer to some of the other factors mentioned in our “writing autistic children” masterpost.

Other characters talking about the character Other characters in your story might speculate about the autistic character’s neurotype, or liken them to a neurodivergent person they know. This could even start off a story arc ending in your character discovering they’re autistic!

Your character makes life choices based on their autistic traits Their choice of hobbies, entertainment, lifestyle and even professional life could be influenced by their sensory profile, special interests or problems with social interaction. Maybe they don’t go out very much because the noise and people outside are too much, or maybe they moved to the countryside because of that. Maybe they became a software engineer because they’re very passionate about coding. Maybe they love dancing because they love the way the movement makes them feel. The possibilities are endless. Honestly, I’d say that even if you’re not trying to give hints to your readers, this is still something you should do, because your character’s autistic traits will impact the way they live their daily life.

Adjust the way the autistic character speaks The autistic character might use atypical speech patterns. For example, they might use echolalia, mix pronouns (I, you, he), struggle to switch between registers, etc. Atypical speech patterns can help your reader interpret the character as neurodivergent.

Adjust the way your character moves Think about how your character uses body language, including eye contact, repetitive movements (stimming), and facial expressions, which can all help to show that the character is not neurotypical.

Your character feels “different” from other people Your character could express how they feel “different” from other people. Before they find out about their neurotype, many people can feel weird, different, even alien.

Maybe the narrator or character explains that they’ve always felt different because [autistic traits], and how they’ve come to realize they work differently than most people because [autistic traits]. You could also try something like “my brain works/is wired differently from most people’s”, which describes neurodivergence but is not autism-specific.

Using words related to autistic concepts Your narration could use words related to autistic concepts, such as “stimming”, “hypersensitivity”, “sensory overload”, “meltdown” or “shutdown”. This can be a good hint, but only if the readers are already educated about autism. One good thing is that if they aren’t, it might encourage them to do some research! Your character might also use these sorts of words. However, not all autistic people do use these types of words -- using autism-related vocabulary could instead indicate that they have read about autism and adapted some useful concepts into their daily life rather than necessarily being autistic themself.

Incorporate other typical autistic traits This post includes some typical traits you could include. For example, the character could be extremely knowledgeable about their special interests and use them as a way of framing the world and interacting with it. They might tend to infodump a lot about their special interest.

Some traits, such as rocking, hand-flapping, or being nonverbal,  are more stereotypical and more likely to ring an “autistic” bell in your reader’s mind.

Try to avoid just making your character a personification of a list of autistic traits! Most autistic people don’t show *all* autistic traits all the time - this would make your character some kind of caricature - and it is important to flesh out your character so that they have their own personality and interests

We hope that these ideas have helped you. There are surely other techniques that could be used (check the notes in case anyone has reblogged with any suggestions), but hopefully we have given you a good head start!

Try combining the hints we have given here and ideas we have included in other posts in this series.

Something that might work well is using some of these hints in the first part of your story, but then actually using the word “autistic” later on in your work. This way, you get all of the advantages of explicit representation and your readers won’t feel like the “big reveal” comes out of nowhere. You could also combine these hints with an author’s note and/or calling your character autistic in the summary of your story.

Good luck with your writing!

Check out the rest of our “Calling Characters Autistic” series

Need help writing an autistic character? Read through our FAQ

[autismus-obscurus]

hello could you help me, i wanna write a story were onw of the characters is autistic i want a little help is there some sites about it

First of all, I’m very glad you turn to the autistic community. I’m sure you’ve seen this written a bunch of times, but just to be sure: please, please stay away from Autism Speaks. They demonize autism (basically saying autistic people ruin their families and would be better off dead). They promote a “cure” (which means aborting children that test positive for autism genes) and abusive “therapy”. A good post about why ABA is bad is HERE.This is a very good post on what to look out for in research.Tbh, I don’t go on other websites as much, so I’ll put some links of stuff that I know. For a general understanding, you can look into the DSM-V criteria (the offical criteria to diagnose autism). This won’t give you much to write a lively character, but with all the resources, it can be overwhelming. You should also definitely check out the organizations run by autistics, such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network and the Autistic Women’s Network.Autism is a spectrum. (See here for an explanation on what that means.) No two autistics are the same, and experience the world the same. An important tip I read was “don’t make autism their only defining trait” (it’s the same with race or sexuality, really). It’s tempting, since autism is literally affect how our brain works, but it’s better to do it in subtle ways e.g.

sensory differences (HERE is an example for sensory issues)

executive dysfunction and how to deal with it

overstimulation (also called sensory overload; common, but not universal)

the empathy thing

Eye contact

Voice stuff

“Atypical” Traits 

How do special interests work?

Comorbidities and how the influence our perception of autism

Example: PTSD and Autism

This is a very cute comic that gives an overview over common issues and how to be a good ally.

For inspiration and relatable things, you can definitely check out the #actuallyautistic tag! If you need examples for sensory things: Sensory hell and Sensory heavenIf you look on tumblr, you’ll find tons of examples for stimming. The trick is obviously to write it in a way that doesn’t degrade it (especially happy flapping has become a meme that basically says people who flap are R*tarded or just insane). That goes for all autistic behavior.

Another big topic is ableism. Warning: You will fuck up. We all do. I’m autistic and I still struggle with internalized ableism a lot. That includes automatically thinking autistic behavior looks weird, or not being able to express it, hell I haven’t even told more than four people in real life I’m autistic. Autistic is still used to mean something negative and you don’t shake that easily. Just be critical of your own thinking.Ableism has many facettes, too many for me to line up here. Some include:

Not listening to us: People who talk are “obviously” too high-functioning to speak about autism, people who can’t talk are not assumed to be able to express an opinion.

Everyone has met at least one neurotypical who assumed they knew more about autism than an autistic person.

Medical ableism: Goes both directions. Either autistics are treated as if we could not make decisions, even as adults, or our problems are dismissed, especially other symptoms

Sexism: Women much less likely to receive a diagnosis or to be treated for medical problems both. Resources masterpost on autism in women

An article about lack of diagnosis in autistic women

Abuse: Can range from emotional abuse (e.g. guilt tripping, gaslighting) to physical (e.g. provoking a meltdown / sensory overload on purpose), usually both

Generally just ignoring an autistic person’s boundaries.

“Autistics are only worth something if they have a special talent” (basically Rain Man)-> dehumanization in general, “we’re not human for not having certain traits / abilities”

There’s also this huge debate on self-dx (see this post for example). In many places diagnosis is expensive and can have a lot of disadvantages (e.g. looking for jobs). Self-dx involves a shit ton of research, months and years of it, really. (Just like you are doing now!) My humble opinion: Psychologists fuck up as well, see the ableism section.

Here is a post on how to get diagnosed as an adult. And here is a post on self-dx!Here’s my story of getting diagnosed (maybe less relevant, but take it as a real life example)

Media representation of autistic people is unfortunately complete garbage for the most part:

This post has a lot of notes with people telling what irks them about media representation of disability in general.Here is a post on why The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time )a pretty popular book that we read in school as “education” about autism) is a bad representationA post on ableism in the series “Good Doctor”I couldn’t find a cohesive review of the show “Atypical” and I haven’t seen it myself, nor do I intend to, but if you go in the #atypical tag the autistic community is very clear that it’s bullshit (and also backed by Autism Speaks, so big surprise)Billy from the new power rangers is autistic! And from what I’ve heard he’s actually well-written. (A post about what the writers did right.)

Things to avoid (unless you present it in the context of ableism / being negative):

cure rhethoric

functioning labels / mental age rhetoric (See this post)

The distinction aspergers and autism (I can’t find the post explaining in detail why it’s bullshit but here’s the short version: Aspergers is an outdated concept (in the new DSM-V it doesn’t exist anymore, you’re just autistic) and it has been used to separate the “good” autistics from the “bad” (it’s ableist and a functioning label basically)

Here’s also an explanation on Aspie supremacists

emotionless character

person first language (Here is a post on why PFL is bad)

white little boy with special interest in trains (they do exist, but it’s overdone)

he’s autistic BUT- (insert special ability) Click Here

Here is a post explaining our preference for the autism label above othersHere is another post on writing autistic charactersLastly, I recently found a very good post about the difficulty of calling a character autistic in writing, you can check it out here.

I probably forgot a ton of important things, so if anyone wants to add something, please do so; or shoot me a message, whatever is more comfortable.

[1nkweaver]

DnD Question Masterpost: Pick

Here we go again 

If your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

Pick really enjoys playing the drums so he would have actually enjoyed being a performer like a bard or part of a band or something. Being a goblin probably makes that kind of hard though.

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

I would say mostly Kai because Kai wouldn’t want anyone in the party to die he’s quite sure, but knows deep down someone like Ida would save him and that pisses him off. He wants to be responsible for himself and not a burden on someone else.

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

I should help the people that help me, and I want to make sure that what happened to me never happens to anyone else ever again. He’s Chaotic Good I believe, so he’s more inclined to helping people but he’s very ‘do to others as what is done to you.’

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

Pick had a lot of siblings in his clan and probably didn’t know who his parents were? I always imagine that Goblins just kinda...breed a whole lot. In a way your whole clan is basically your family, but it’s very competitive, so he probably didn’t care for them really. There was however another goblin he ended up meeting named Sprout who was like a sister to him.

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

He has a particular bone to pick with half orcs and elves, and a very complicated view on humanity as they have been both the best and worst to him. Honestly a lot of the more normal races he is inherently...jealous of, I suppose? He likes the freaks, weirdos, or small folk, which thankfully covers most of the party.

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

Fuuuuuuck that shit dude. The little people are gunna rise up and tear that shit down.

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

Standing at about 3′6′’ Pick has a sort of cloak/jacket with short sleeves and a hood that’s kind of a grayish blue, and then down his arms is various bandage wrappings, then his iconic bright red gloves. Under everything he has his leather armor which is dark blue, almost black, with a few little vials slipped into sleeves.A tunic under the armor which is what he mostly wears when not wearing armor. Handaxes strapped onto the back of his armor in his belt hidden away, a belt, simple tight trousers and little boots with buckles and a dagger in it. 

He has red tinted goggles and a scarf that he uses to hide his face when in town, and a strange big bundled up thing on his back at all times. He has yellowsh green skin, messy dark blue almost black hair, dagger like ears, snarled teeth, and a bat like nose with yellow eyes and red slit pupils. He has four fingers and toes, and a cow-like tail. His face is covered in dark green freckles and his whole body is covered with various scars, mostly on his palms and under arms, but also has a split lip and a large scar on his torso.

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

I believe he and Anders may have spent some time in the town of Daggerford, or at least a small town near it, which Pick really enjoyed. The environment was nice and being close to the ocean was cool.

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

Pick doesn’t care too much about the worship of gods by other people, but has a specific disdain for clerics and people who use healing magic, refusing to let it be used on him entirely. For himself, he takes a tip from game of thrones, “There is only one god and they are death, and what do we say to death? Not today.” That’s the majority of his faith, but he is at least a little spiritual.

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

He really likes his drums so I could see him maybe wanting to learn a new instrument, but he also would really like to take up sketching- not painters tools per se, but like little charcoal drawings perhaps. I think he’s mostly just unaware of what things you can learn otherwise I think he’d want to learn a lot! Music, tinkers tools, thieves tools, smithing? Sewing? He’d find it all interesting in the end.

What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence?

Find him, and find him.

Does your character ever want to “settle down” with a spouse, children, house, etc.?

I think if Pick spent enough time thinking about it he’d realize that he does, but he needs to learn a few things first, he doesn’t know what it’s like to have a spouse and children really, he’d need someone to teach him what that’s like.

Has your character ever been in love?

I think he has but he doesn’t have a frame of reference for what love is.

What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character?

His introduction! Being introduced to the campaign as a pit fighter is great because you get to really play up the crowd, which includes your future party- and then I got chased by guards! haha, I’m in danger!

If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead?

Before Pick became a bloodhunter he was a different class! He would have been a Champion Fighter.

What is your character’s favorite season?

He likes the summer, the warmth is nice and it’s just the best choice in his mind out of the four. Spring has too much irritating pollen, winter is too cold, fall feels depressing. I suppose Pick is a sweet summer child.

What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology?

Pick is a cancer

Where in the world does your character most want to visit?

He doesn’t know many places, he’s heard of cities like Waterdeep and Neverwinter which are interesting, and Baldur’s Gate has seemed kind of cool. But where he wants to visit he doesn’t know where it is, he’s looking for it.

What is the biggest mistake your character has ever made?

He wasn’t strong enough.

Does your character have any noticeable scars? If so, what are their stories?

Covered in scars all over his body, like a split lip and various other wounds (probably has torn up ears, etc) but the worthwhile story ones are:

-Cuts on his palms and arms from using his blood rites, and also emotional issues

-Scars on the back of his hands that he wont show anyone

-A wound on his torso from his time with Anders, either a bite mark or puncture wound

What animal best represents your character?

A big cat like a lion or tiger that you would see in the zoo.

If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be?

Not have gotten fucking caught.

Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with?

He see’s a lot of himself in Jin’s personality, and in Ida for other reasons.

Does your character regret any particular choice the party has made?

Haven’t spent much time with the party but he fears staying in Baldur’s Gate for a few extra days might bite them in the ass.

What would your character say their best trait would be?

His tenacity probably. The boy doesn’t know when to quit, in a fight or in other areas, he’ll keep pushing and pushing. If someone is asking him to back off though that’s a different story and he will.

What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational?

Pick cannot stand silence for too long, especially for sleeping, there needs to be noise, and so he normally absentmindedly is playing his drums in like a stimming way or even like an OCD tendency. He also doesn’t like closed off spaces.

What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

He was told to find them, basically, by someone he trusts.

What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class?

He really does enjoy playing his drum, it makes him happy in a way that fighting doesn’t. Even if he’s not an artist he also likes to draw. He also personally loves to collect things like badges and medals, signs of authority. He finds it funny.

What would most people think when they first see your character?

What the fuck is this little angry man (if disguised) or maybe “Oh fuck a goblin?”

What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?)

I guess right now he’s the guy that’s...forcing everyone to get their shit out, but he’s also kinda the loose cannon spitfire to accompany Jin.

What is your character the most insecure about?

He knows he’s inherently aggressive and thereby normally unlikable. He’s aware that he like talks to much and is kinda brazen and out there and sometimes he wishes he could like...cool it for a hot second.

What person does your character admire most?

Anders. It’s no question.

Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)?

I made Pick’s lowest stat charisma because while I think he has a charismatic way of speaking he’s also meant to come off as kind of graty and annoying because he’s so IN YOUR FACE about things, that and the fact that as a goblin I dont see him as being particularly attractive, and so puts people off just based on his race alone.

What would be your character’s theme song/favorite band/favorite genre of music?

Hard rock or punk music, and anything with some really sick drum riffs. I think he could like anyone from Muse to AC/DC

What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.)

He’s kind of jocky, like I can see him being sporty but almost...picked on by the other jocks because of his size? He might also be like the “bad boy”

What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them?

The thing on his back for sure, that he keeps all bundled up.

Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find?

He’d love to find something that could change how he looks like a hat of disguise ( that he doesn’t know the party has) or just something that allows him to...be different visually I guess. In terms of weapons I mean I think he’d love any kind of badass sounding weapon, like a sword that catches on fire. Or a sentient weapon, he’d think that’s SUPER COOL.

Where does your character feel the most at home?

In a tent in the middle of the woods by the campfire with Anders.

Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

He both really cares about it and really doesn’t. He used to have some resentment issues of like “I wish I wasn’t a goblin” but Anders tried to squash that feeling in him and it mostly worked. He is trying to love himself but also I think feels he’s incapable of like...getting actual love from someone bc he’s a goblin.

What does your character think is the true meaning of life?

He was asked that a while ago and he’s still trying to figure it out before he meets that person again.

What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.)

God he probably smells disgusting. He doesn’t really bathe much and he’s all dirty and covered in dried blood and other shit...he probably smells really bad and smells a lot like gore or blood.

Does your character think more with their heart or their brain?

He would say he thinks with his gut, but with that not an option I’d default to heart.

What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare?

Being back in that place again.

What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragonmarked Houses, royal crown, etc.)

Pick has learned that there are certain power structures that are enjoyed by the elites of society that he really, really hates. They dont stand for good things and only seek to exploit, and he wants that to end, mostly through him committing a lot of violence on some people.

How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends?

Pick grew up in the north with his goblin clan, though most of his memories from that time aren’t super well known. A lot of them were his siblings, cousins etc, and he was regarded with a little respect as he was a bit smarter than the average goblin, so he was good at trapping and hunting. The rest is a blur.

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

Where the fuck is he.

What colors are associated with your character?

Red red red, and like faded steel grays and blues.

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

Probably Kai or Siril, but more in a stand in between them and an enemy rather than like, pulling them out of a burning building.

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

Somewhere between pathos and ethos but mostly ethos, he wouldn’t really speak on things that weren’t in his knowledge base.

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

God I dont know if one use of wish is enough. I suppose he’d get started by using it to finish the task that was given to him.

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

He only uses it as a last resort, and it hasn’t come to that yet.

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

Pick fucking hates secrets. He wants everyone’s shit out and in the open including his own as soon as possible because  he needs to know if they can help him or not.

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

Since his becoming a blood hunter, which he doesn’t really know that’s what he is, he’s found himself drawn to their specific quarries, and he’s curious about why that is. Things like fey, fiends, etc.

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

Pick dreamed of being the “leader” but figured he’d die way before that happened.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

Doesn’t matter who it is because clearly you’re just making a joke at him.

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

Oh he’d 100% go with the person from his past because he’s only with the party to get back to them. He’s just not been with the party long enough to care.

Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s?

Most definitely, he just met them and I think unless things get real serious real fast it will be that way for a while.

What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group?

Not respecting the boundaries he set, or doing to someone what was done to him.

How does your character imagine the way they will die?

Right now he’s holding on to the fact that he can’t, and wont, and will go kicking and screaming against a God if he has to to not.

What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Surviving, through everything. Being a champion when he was supposed to be the fodder.

Is your character willing to risk the well-being of others in order to achieve their goal?

Yeah I think he’d consider it the greater good.

What is your character’s opinion on killing others?

There’s some people that really need to die like right now, no issue with killing whatsoever.

What is your character’s favorite food? Beverage?

I think he’d like something savory over something sweet, definitely something nice and buttery like a really good corn on the cob.

How generous is your character? Especially to those they don’t know?

His twitch instinct is to be an asshole, and then immediately feel bad and try to do something nice and be giving. He was told that the thing you do second is who you really are, and your gut reaction is what you were taught. He’s trying to reteach himself.

What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party?

How someone can have so much more than him and not even understand how good they had it, and then still seem so upset.

The player character to your left and the player character to your right are both telling your character two different versions of the truth. Who does your character believe?

Whatever version of the story is more exciting or funny.

What is your character’s sexuality/relationship with sex?

I think sex to him is a very like...animalistic instinctual thing? Kinda just by nature of being a goblin I think he really feels the need to have sex in that sake. But also I think sex might have been messed up in his brain, and so now he’s just all confused about it. He needs someone to teach him what healthy sexual experiences are. If he explored that he would discover he is probably homosexual. 

What is your character’s biggest pet peeve?

Someone who always thinks they know the best thing to do, a self appointed leader. Someone who writes off others.

Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc.

What exactly are you all doing?? Do you actually want me here?? Why are you all so dang secretive even with each other, how the fuck is this going to work.

Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret?

Siril, I think of the percy quote “Your secret is safe with my indifference” and I think that’s just how Siril would treat a secret.

If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

He’d be doubling down on what he has to do because now theres a time limit put on it. Or he’d have to find someone he trusted real fast to get them to do it. He’d also probably be crying a lot.

What makes your character feel safe?

An open space, being able to choose where he can go at any given moment. 

If your character had the chance to rename the party/give the party a name, no questions asked, what would it be?

The Breakfast Club

What memory does your character want to forget the most?

I think it was too long to be able to forget all of it, but lets go with the first night.

If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so?

Fighter, it’s the closest to what he is and it would basically just be a case of “going back to basics” with what he used to know.

What television/book/video game/etc. character would your character be best friends with? (Or: what media character is your character the most influenced by/similar to?

Deadpool

What unusual talents does your character possess?

I always thought his skill with alchemy and the drums would impress people, and I like to think maybe he can do like weird body things like pop a joint out or contort his body in a weird way to freak people out.

How does your character feel about receiving/giving orders? Are they more of a leader, or a follower?

It’s the most complicated thing for him because he’s gone back and forth being in charge and being a follower, and he’s followed good people and bad people. He understands orders are needed but also sometimes someone tells him what to do and it just makes him absolutely snap.

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

“He’s small, green, crunchy and sweet (or sour), he’s Pickle!” sung like a jingle to a commercial.

Is your character more of an introvert, or an extrovert?

I think he’s pretty damn extroverted.

How far is your character willing to go to pursue the “greater good”? Do they believe in a greater good at all?

He’s prepared to go pretty damn far, and that’s also what I think Anders saw in him, because Anders was also just as willing.

What does your character want to be remembered by?

That that stupid little goblin that everyone overlooked fucking won.

What would be your character’s major in college?

Chemistry? Or maybe music, because he likes music a lot. I think he’d honestly maybe just drop out tho lol.

Does your character consider themselves a hero, villain, or something else?

I’d say maybe he’s an Antihero? Or like a vigilante kind of deal? He likes seeing people he hates consider him their own personal villain tho.

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

I’ll go with....judgement

Where does your character see themselves in 20 years?

Hopefully with all of this long behind him, everything is solved and he’s got a ton of gold and anything else he wants.

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

All magic was made to hurt people.

Who is your character’s biggest rival?

Sebastian.

What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure?

That he enjoys hurting people for money in fighting rings. Like he’s got this weird pleasure with gore and crushing bones and things like that, but then also really hates that he likes it, he thinks he’s fucked up.

What does your character hope for the afterlife?

I think it scares him so he ignores it. I guess he hopes he’s seen as doing what was right.

Who in the party does your character trust the least?

Siril, just because he’s unpredictable.

What is your character’s biggest flaw?

He’s someone that needs help and knows he needs help but he’s both too aggressive and too prideful to ask for it.

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

Raised knowing goblin and he just knows common otherwise babey.

What is your character’s favorite school of magic/type of weaponry?

He really does take a liking to using his axes, but I think he’s still trying to find the perfect weapon, they’re all interesting. He wishes he could just punch things but he’s not that strong.

What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness?

Happiness, wealth, health. Fuck health it’s always shit.

What advice would your character give to a younger version of themselves?

You are way way stronger than you think you are, fight.

Are there any social or political issues your character feels strongly about?

I think if he learned that theres certain power structures in place in the world that are pseudo-legal he’d get very very upset.

What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

How the fuck do I talk to Ida

[scriptautistic]

Masterpost: On calling characters autistic

Part 1: Whether you should explicitly call your character autistic, and how you should go about it

So, you have created an autistic character. You love them, you know their likes and dislikes and you are determined that this is going to be a positive and realistic portrayal of autism. There's one problem though - how do you let your readers know that the character has ASD?

Actually explicitly calling your character “Autistic” can be awkward. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to interrupt the flow of the story, maybe it’s because you don’t want to risk backlash if people dislike your representation of autism. Maybe “autistic” isn’t a word that exists in the world or time period of your story. So, do you have to say it outright?

There isn't a moral imperative to call your character “autistic”. One of my favourite autistic characters is never called autistic in-universe. But our blog is about encouraging accurate representation of autistic characters, and if you don't actually call them autistic...is it actually representation?

Should I call my character autistic?

Autistic characters in media are very important for several reasons. The media we consume contributes to shaping us and our worldviews. If someone reads books and watch movies which contain complex, realistic autistic characters, they’re more likely to 1) be aware of what autism actually is, and 2) see autistic people as human beings, and treat them as such. These characters are also important to autistic people themselves: seeing characters like yourself portrayed in a positive light can boost your self esteem and help you feel less alone.

If you make a great autistic character and you don’t explicitly call them “autistic”, it’s not guaranteed that everyone will understand that they’re supposed to be autistic. Many people don’t have a very accurate working knowledge of autism, and they might not understand that a character is autistic if they don’t fit their narrow, stereotypical view of what an autistic person looks like. Thus the people that would benefit most from this representation might miss it completely.

Of course, the choice is yours, but we would strongly encourage you to explicitly call your character autistic so that you’re 100% sure your readers will pick up on it. Ideally, this would happen in the work itself, but at the very least we would encourage you to make it explicit when you, the writer, discuss the character (on social media, in interviews, in synopses of your work). Bare in mind that if you don’t say it explicitly within the work, you are very likely to end up with readers who deny that the character is autistic because they don’t behave in ways that match their perception of what autism is - they fall in love, they speak, they don’t behave in exactly the same way as their autistic nephew does. It is preferable for the reader to be able to identify the character as autistic without needing to pay attention to the author’s writing outside of the work itself.

When?

So, it’s decided! You are definitely going to tell the audience that the character is autistic. When is the best time to let them know? Telling the audience does not have to be the first thing you do when you introduce the character - it depends what you want to do with your story.

Here are a few general possibilities:

When the character is introduced - immediately telling the audience that the character is autistic means that the character’s autism will play a big part in the audience’s interpretation of the character. You might choose this option if you feel it is important for the audience to understand the character is autistic. If you are telling a story “about being autistic”, the fact that the character is autistic is very likely to be one that you will want to raise at the start, but even in a story that is not “about” being autistic, knowing your character’s neurotype from the outset can help the audience to interpret their behaviour.

After the character has been established - your character has already been established and you have demonstrated their autistic traits; calling your character autistic at this point is a way of confirming it and making it explicit for anyone who has not realised so far.

A “big” reveal - this isn’t something that I have seen used, but there is the option of “revealing” that your character is autistic later in the story. This could be used a way of subverting the expectations of readers who have stereotypical views of autism (and confirming other readers’ “headcanons”) for characters who have atypical traits. Otherwise, it could be presented as the solution to a “mystery” about the character.

It is brought up several times - you don’t have to only mention the character’s autism once! Their autism might be referred to multiple times during the story.

In the description/summary of your story - This a useful option if the story takes place in a point in history before the diagnosis of “autism” existed. It can also be used to clarify the terms you use for stories set in the future/different worlds. (The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time used this method, only calling the main character autistic on the cover - but you need to make sure that you actually do a decent job inside the book!)

How?

OK, time to actually decide how to tell your audience that the character is autistic. Luckily, there are lots of options!

We are going to list several strategies. There are lots of ways of fitting these into context: try relating what you say to an autistic trait which is affecting your character at that point in the story: are they struggling with executive dysfunction? having fun stimming? looking up information about their special interest?

Here are some ideas of topics related to autism that might provide you with the opportunity to casually drop in the term “autistic”: sensory overload, stimming, executive dysfunction, alexithymia, difficulties with social interactions, problems with communication, special interests, eye contact, meltdowns and shutdowns.

Here are some techniques for telling the audience that the character is autistic. Each suggestion is accompanied by at least one example to illustrate how it can be used:

The narration says “they’re autistic” - it can be slipped in as a sort of “aside” if that feels more natural in your story

“Karen swore loudly. The village church bells had been ringing for 45 minutes and her head felt like it was going to split in two. Of course being autistic didn’t help, but the main problem was the bloody eejit who decided it was a good idea to hold bell practice today of all days.”

“Ming looked down the guest list. Selvie was bringing Cheng Mae as her plus-one. Ming had only met her once: he knew that she was autistic, that she loved Criminal Minds, and that Selvie was trying to take the relationship to the next level, but none of this helped him with choosing what table to put the couple at. He called Helen in from the kitchen to ask what she thought.”

The autistic character says they’re autistic (in dialogue) - either explicitly telling another character, or mentioning in passing

“Sorry I went a bit weird yesterday - I’m autistic and crowds are really overwhelming for me. Can we try again next Saturday? You can come ’round to mine and I’ll cook a romantic dinner”

J: How did you choose your therapist? I’m trying to find one K: She specializes in working with autistic people. My dad helped me find her. J: Oh, is she expensive?

The autistic character says they're autistic (as the first-person point of view narrator) They might mention it as a personal aside, or they may refer to it repeatedly throughout the narrative.

“I hate the store. I have been to every aisle at least twice already, but either two items are in the same aisle but not written next to each other on the list, or I can’t see the item I’m looking for. I know I struggle with finding things directly in front of my face because I’m autistic—my brain just doesn’t process the images my eyes are passing over fast enough—but it’s so annoying. I just wanted to find the cereal my sister likes.”

Refer to (or flashback to) a time in the past when it came up For example, the character could refer to to being in special ed at school, their parents might talk about the character having atypical development (eg. not speaking until a later age than usual), they could refer to the mental health professional who first suggested that they seek out a diagnosis, the character might make a comment comparing something to one of the tests they did while being assessed for autism, there might be a flashback to ABA sessions.

“Hey, Cam, you know that you are allowed to say when you disagree with something, don’t you?” “Yes.” Cam hesitated. “Um... I mean, yes, in theory. But I was taught in social skills that I had to smile and nod when people speak. It’s hard.” “Of course, I forgot. It was more important for them to teach the autistic kid to be compliant than to teach you how to communicate your needs,” he scowled. “Sarcasm,” he added “Thanks. I realised, this time.”

Another character discloses that the character is autistic (note: this is something that is not necessarily an appropriate thing to do in real-life — please don’t go talking about other people’s diagnoses behind their backs unless you know EXPLICITLY that this is ok with them)

“What’s the deal with Zephyr? Is he always such an arse?” Caroline sighed, “listen, Katharina, Zephyr isn’t trying to be rude. He’s autistic, he can’t pick up on your hints that you want to change the subject. Just tell him—nicely—that you want to talk about something else”

Chantelle looked the teacher in the eye, her face resolute. “Please, Mr Clive, Aaron is autistic, and I need to know that the school understands that. Things have been difficult for all of us since the earthquake, but the changes have been really hard for him. We lost our house, we’ve moved to a new area. Can I work with someone from the school’s SEN department to plan his induction?”

Another character mentions it when talking to the autistic character

“You know, when I first heard you were autistic I was expecting something different” “Robyn, this is not the time,” Enri snapped, “let’s fix the ship first, please”

From: K.Litchen To: I.Khan Subject: Favor please! <3

Hey, Ibby, you can definitely say “no” if you want to, but is it ok if I give your email address to my sister? She just found out that my nephew might be autistic and I think it would help her to talk to an autistic adult bc she’s panicking right now. Also, you left your dictaphone at the office on Friday, I can drop it off tonite if you like?

Thanks!!! Kim xxx”

Say it in the blurb/synopsis of your book/comic/film/etc

“17th Century France: The Beast of Gévaudan has been terrorising the area for two years. After two twelve year olds are killed in his village, Pierre, an autistic baker, begins investigating the attacks. He uncovers secrets, lies, and the terrible truth behind La Bèstia — but who will listen to M. Fournier’s oddball son?”

Include information in the background of a panel/scene (for a comic/film) Examples:

A panel shows a letter that is relevant for plot reasons, but you can see part of another letter behind it that references autism

The character goes to visit their therapist and there are posters about autism on the walls

The character wears some sort of autistic pride t-shirt (example 1 and example 2)

This information could also be backed up by (or highlighted in) your dialogue. The prose-based equivalent to having information in the mise-en-scene would be using descriptions of the background.

That’s it for part one!

Next time on On calling characters autistic:

Part 2 - what if autistic isn’t a term that exists in my story? We discuss telling stories that are set in the past, the distant future, and on other worlds

Part 3 - hinting We discuss ways to strongly imply that your character is autistic (techniques that you will ideally combine with explicitly calling them autistic)

[scriptautistic]

I didn't think I saw anything about this topic, so I was wondering if you had any resources on echolalic speech patterns for characters. I have one character who I intend on writing with these patterns but have no idea how to write them (especially since she has delayed echolalia, but nothing really to replicate except what her colleagues say to her).

Hi! First of all, I’m intending on writing up a complete post on echolalia some day, but in the meanwhile, for our readers who are not familiar with it, I’ll leave you with this excellent video by Amythest Schaber which explains the different types of echolalia and why an autistic person might use them. There also are tons of resources in the description so you can check these out.

If using delayed echolalia, your character will basically quote things which she has heard before. They can be complete sentences or fragments of sentences or even disjointed words. They can come from what has been said to her by people, from what she has heard (for example on TV/ on the radio/ in a song…), or even from what she has said herself. She may have heard these words only a few minutes ago, or more than 10 years ago if they have particularly marked her.

Here are some common patterns:

Using pop culture references. This is so common it’s almost become stereotypical. I don’t know your story, but if it takes place in our universe, your character could definitely quote her favorite movies or famous songs, or TV ads. And if the story is taking place in another universe, this is a great occasion for some worldbuilding! What are iconic pieces of media in your world? In historical fiction in a European setting, this would probably translate into quoting the bible when relevant. In a futuristic sci-fi setting, it’s up to you to invent hundreds of years of pop culture!

Using common idioms, phrases and sayings. Even if your universe doesn’t have a pop culture per se, they will probably have proverbs. These are phrases which are commonly heard and repeated, so using them as echolalia makes sense.

Speech mannerisms. These are phrases they use all the time, which will often be their go-to response. Most people have these, but they’re often more commonly used by autistic people. Speech mannerisms can mean using short filler words such as “like”, which is not really what I’m talking about here. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean. Here’s a personal one: When someone says something along the lines of “what do you want to do?” or “what are we going to do?”, my first response is almost always “pancakes”, even if it’s usually completely nonsensical in the context. This is not my actual answer, just something I say automatically and which gives me time to think. I even say that a an answer to “what do you want to eat” when I don’t want to eat pancakes at all. Another example could be immediatly replying “You’re the X” when someone says a sentence which contains the word X, even when it makes no sense whatsoever. And these mannerisms are very easy to “catch” from other people.

Using sentences they have heard a lot in their life, for instance words their parents would say to them as a child.

But really, they could quote about anything as long as they’ve heard it before. For your character, this could include what her colleagues say to her, but also everything she’s ever heard and she remembers. You don’t have to pull dialogue from your own story for her echolalia, it could be words she’s heard a stranger say in the bus as she was making her way to the office, or something she’s heard on TV, or something she remembers her sibling saying as a kid. You can get as creative as you want here. Keep in mind why she is using echolalia. Is it stimming ? If so, she’ll probably be repeating words which sound nice to her (bubbles!). Is she communicating? There will be a connection between the echolalia she uses and the meaning she’s trying to get across (eg : “Do you want juice?” to mean “I am thirsty”.)

I hope I’ve answered your question. If I haven’t, please shoot us another ask with more détails!

-Mod Cat

I just want to add that although the word “echolalia” is usually used in terms of aural things the person has heard, there is a very similar (in my mind, identical) thing that uses things someone reads, especially if they are hyperlexic (learned to read at a very young age - before 5, often as young as 2 - with little to know instruction). I am hyperlexic and learned to read at 3, and I personally thank books for many of the social skills I seemed to possess at a young age. I consumed books at an incredible rate and on a wide range of topics, mostly fiction. Most of the time, when I was having a conversation with someone, I was pulling some or all of my side of the conversation from various conversations and prose I’d read in books, though no one ever suspected that. Because I “hear” what I read in my head, I remembered it the same way I would remember a spoken conversation, and was able to echo it later. Rather than seeing my odd speech patterns as a sign of autism, I was frequently praised for being so eloquent and having such a big vocabulary for my age, and for speaking like someone much older than me (because I was generally echoing adults). I still have a plethora of favorite phrases and sentences which are pulled from books I read as a child. Sometimes I hope that someone will catch on and get the reference, but so far, no one ever does.

The character doesn’t have to be hyperlexic to use something they’ve read in this way, though. Any level of reading can work. Even something they saw in an advertisement on the side of a bus can be added to their internal library.

The internet is also a big source these days. I have a lot of phrases in my library which come from Homestar Runner cartoons I watched in high school, or articles I read on Cracked, for example. This could potentially include grammatically incorrect writing that people use online. 

Also, be aware that words learned by reading are often pronounced wrong. If your character prefers communicating in writing rather than speech, they might mispronounce many words when speaking. People tend to laugh at someone who does this, especially if it’s someone who’s usually eloquent and uses a lot of big words. (I really need to do a masterpost on hyperlexia someday!)

Basically, yes, people who are mostly nonverbal or not very verbal might use a lot of echolalia. However, even those who seem to speak very well might use a lot more of this type of scripting than you think. If people knew how much of my speech is directly quoted from another source or from scripts I’ve compiled in my head over the years, they would be very surprised indeed.

Happy writing!

-Mod Aira

[scriptautistic]

Masterpost: Meltdowns

One of the most obviously recognizable autistic traits are meltdowns. Stimming can often be done in subtle ways, allistic-type social skills can often be learned, but meltdowns are simply beyond control. Unfortunately, they’re frequently misunderstood and mishandled by others who don’t realize what they’re seeing.

As always, we want to emphasize that meltdowns are different for everyone. Some autistic people have regular meltdowns. Some experience them rarely or not at all. And they can be caused by different things and experienced differently by different people.

Meltdowns are caused by an overload in the brain. This can be sensory overload, extreme anxiety, emotional distress, or stress: basically, there is too much or something and the brain can’t cope. Whatever the cause, the brain is in a state where it can no longer handle further input.

Many autistic people, especially adults with a lifetime of experience, are able to recognize when they are getting overloaded and are headed for a meltdown. Some people are able to leave the situation which is causing their overload and give themselves time and space for their brains to “catch up” so they can calm down and avoid the meltdown. Sometimes, however, it’s not possible to leave a situation - and sometimes, it’s not clear to the person what is happening. For example, alexithymia might prevent them from being aware that they are getting overloaded. If the person remains in the overload-inducing situation, a meltdown can occur (The person can also experience a shutdown - we’ll get into this in a minute.). Sometimes the meltdown is also caused by internal reasons (anxiety, emotional distress) which can hardly be avoided.

Once in a meltdown, the person no longer has normal control over themselves. The brain goes into “fight or flight” mode. The brain perceives a threat - the cause of the sensory overload, or stress, or whatever people happen to be nearby when it happens. It can also be a vague sense of danger / pain that’s not directed at anything. Logic and reason go out the window, and the person is gripped by a tremendous sense of panic and danger. For some people, their brain is saying: YOU ARE NOT SAFE. YOU NEED TO GET AWAY. Picture a cornered prey animal preparing to fight for its life. That’s the state the brain is in.

The person will then react to the situation as though they are in extreme danger - even if they are logically aware that they are not. Common reactions include:

They may physically run away, or try to run away.

If they are unable to run away, they may try to hide: behind doors, under tables and chairs, behind curtains, anywhere that presents itself. (Mod Aira has been known to try to hide on the couch, under the cushions.)

If approached by other people, they may respond as though they are being attacked (because the brain feels as though they are). This may include screaming, yelling insults and threats, and lashing out physically, punching, kicking, scratching, or even biting.

The character may shout things they would never normally say, including threats, slurs, curse words, etc. Alternatively, they may beg for help, to go home, for their mother, etc.

They may thrash around and/or stim in extreme ways, or in ways that are out of character for them. This can include self-harm: scratching or biting one’s skin or slamming one’s head against the wall or floor are not uncommon. This is an attempt to calm the nervous system.

They may scream, whimper or cry because of the pain they’re in.

They’ll probably have trouble thinking clearly or at all.

Throughout this experience, the person may feel physical pain as well as panic. Common descriptions include having bees in your head, feeling like your skin is trying to crawl off of you, feeling like your chest is trying to implode, or having nerve pain that shoots up and down your body.

In addition to panic, the person is quite likely to feel profound embarrassment and/or shame, especially once the meltdown is over and the person is calming down, and especially if it happened in public. They are often aware that what they are doing is irrational, and they know how awful they look while it’s happening, but they cannot control it in any way.

This is an important thing to note: Meltdowns cannot be controlled or stopped once they begin. They are not related to temper tantrums, which they are commonly mistaken for. A temper tantrum is someone behaving in an extreme way in order to get attention or to manipulate others into giving them what they want. A meltdown is in no way voluntary. It is more like a seizure: a neurological event which cannot be controlled or stopped (though it might be shortened in some situations, and can definitely be made worse).

If a character in your story sees the meltdown happen, there are ways to help, and there are ways to make it worse. If the person knows what is happening and what to do, they can help make the meltdown as short and painless as possible in the following ways:

Do not attempt to talk to or touch the person melting down unless they have explicitly requested that you do so. Some people may find comfort in pressure, for example, and ask friends and family to give them bear hugs when they melt down, but this doesn’t work for everyone and will make some people worse.

If the meltdown is caused by sensory overload, remove as many sources of sensory stimulation as possible. Turn off music (even quiet music, since the person may be extremely sensitive), turn off or dim lights, stop all conversations, etc. If they are able to walk, moving the person out of an overloading setting can be more feasible if the meltdown happens in a public place (supermarket…).

If the meltdown is caused by stress, anxiety or emotional reasons, anything which can help reduce these can help shorten the meltdowns. What can and can’t help depends on the person. Asking someone how to behave if they ever have a meltdown in a moment when they’re NOT having one is a good thing to do, as they won’t be able to tell you when a meltdown has already begun.

Give the person space and keep bystanders away. Ideally, create a situation where no one is looking at them (seeing eyes looking or staring can increase the sense of threat). Explain that they are fine, the situation is under control, and keep them from gawking. If police are around, explain if necessary that the person is autistic but that they will be fine in a few minutes, and that you are taking care of them. Make sure the person does not perceive any extra threats from people approaching them, which might result in a worsening meltdown and possibly even violence.

Once they have calmed down and are ready to talk, don’t make a big deal out of it. Make it clear that you understand this is something beyond their control and that they have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed.

If possible, give the person an escape route. Do not stand between them and the door. Make it clear that they can leave if they need to, and provide a safe space for them to be alone.

Naturally, such perfect “meltdown companions” rarely exist in most autistic people’s lives. Your average well-intentioned friend or family member, and certainly your average stranger, are likely to react in the following ways, and with the following results:

Trying to calm the person down by approaching them, trying to soothe them with gentle touches, stroking their hair, rubbing their back, etc. Aside from the potential panic they might feel from being approached by someone (threat!) which can result in violent outbursts, physical contact and hearing someone’s voice can lead to increased overload which can worsen and prolong the meltdown.

Trying to force the person to talk about what’s happening. Demanding that they explain what’s going on, asking lots of questions, wanting them to “talk it out”, or just rambling on about how they’re here to help and everything’s going to be okay, etc. Again, the noise can increase overload. Also, the person might be totally unable to process speech and be unable to understand what’s being said, in which case they just hear “I’m not leaving you alone! I demand that you accommodate my need to understand you!” and increase stress.

Yell at the person for “throwing a tantrum” or “being dramatic”. It is extremely common for meltdowns to be misunderstood and mistaken for a willful tantrum. Verbal attacks like this will increase the sense of being threatened, worsen and prolong the meltdown, and might provoke violent behavior which the autistic person feels is self-defense.

Block exits and prevent the person from running away. If allowed to leave the situation, a person experiencing a meltdown might be able to calm down fairly quickly, but when prevented, the threat level increases - instead of running, they are cornered, and have to resort to other methods to try to get the “threat” away.

Making them the center of attention. The person melting down generally needs to be left alone. When everyone is looking at them, trying to “help” them or calm them down, even if all the people around have good intentions, it can make the situation far worse.

The amount of time a meltdown takes to pass depends greatly on the individual and the situation. They can pass in a minute or two, or they can last for upwards of an hour, especially if the person is forced to remain in the situation which triggered it. On average, they tend to end within 15-20 minutes. If left alone under ideal circumstances, they can be shortened dramatically.

When the person feels that the threat has passed and the brain has calmed itself down sufficiently, the meltdown can end. The character can gradually calm down and regain control of themselves. Aside from potentially feeling embarrassed and ashamed, they are also likely to feel exhausted, as meltdowns expend a lot of energy. Some people will even curl up wherever they are (under a table, inside the sofa, wherever) and immediately take a nap. Their cognitive functions (ability to think clearly) might take some time to go back to normal.

That’s all for meltdown. A masterpost about shutdowns will follow shortly, as well as some posts describing the mods’ personal experience with both type of reactions so you can have a concrete example. Happy writing! (Here we are, giving you more options to make your characters suffer. Do you really need that.)