#need to make a presentation about it or something idk
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oooo yay
1/ therian and otherkin, idk actually know much about anything else or their prolly would be more....but im just not very knowledgeable i suppose(very open to learning tho)
2/ Theriotypes: Black wolfdog, Dear, Rabbit, Crow, Barn owl, Black cat, Rhinoceros beetle, Fly, Cockroach
Paleotype: Therizinosaurus
Otherkin: Angelkin, Robotkin, Vampirekin, Zombiekin, Ghostkin, Skeletonkin, Cryptidkin, Creaturekin, Sirenkin
3/ i dont think so but when i get distressed or feel cornered i feel like a prey animal which makes sense i suppose. i also sometimes when im sitting on the edge of my bed and close my eyes i sometimes get little like memories(not visual but like i just know that its smth thats happened) of sitting at the foot of a throne, wings tucked neatly behind my back/over my face(the ones on my head) and im dressed in silk and gold and its just...nice i want to go back but alas i cannot(whenever im in the car and look at the sky and see the sun rays filtering through the clouds all i can really think is "i should be up there")
4/ its pretty ever present so yk
5/ most people are nice, i dont get into discourse cuz it makes me a lil sad cuz like...idk its someone elses life i dont think its a big deal unless its spreading misinformation or harming someone/something
6/ uhhhh prolly gotta go with 2 of my friends being therians too so i can chat with them about it sometimes(i keep it to myself most of the time idk im just like that) being referred to as my therio/kin/paleotype. the fact that most of my clothes are black and one of my more frequently noticeable types have black fur(maybe thats why im more comfortable in blacks/browns/greens huh...) the fact that i have a lot of like cat/dog/owl/prey/etc mannerisms
7/ sometimes mainly cuz i dont have fangs/sharp teeth or a tail and i have skin...and organs...and no wings...only 2 eyes the list just goes on but its not like dysphoria it doesnt cause me distress but yk id rather have all that stuff cuz it would cause more euphoria does that makes sense?
8/ stay away from discourse and if smth doesnt fit thats alright, been there done that, it isnt the end of the world, promise /gen /pos
9/ yes, i want some. the only gear i have is a half finished crow mask it just needs elastic and some feather/painted details but i dont have anything so i gotta wait a bit(i have a wip yarn tail...but i dont like the way the yarn feels even tho it kinda feels like course fur)
10/ no....i do not sadly
11/ you know the gist, anyone can answer and i thing i'll tag....hm...@neowanderseternally /nf ofc
If you are an alter/nonhuman, reblog and answer these questions!
(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
5/ What do you think of the community?
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
9/ Do you have/want to have gears?
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈
#max replies#i like being able to do these....i just forget sometimes#this was fun#dont get to really talk about this that much tbh#i saw the words “dont be afraid to wright a lot” and went “yay!”#this has to be my fav thing about me(and least sometimes) cuz im just a very complex being#if anyone/creatures/beings wants to give me an explanation on like otherhearted and stuff like that my dms and asks are always open#searching this stuff makes me scared to be misinformed#personally would rather be uninformed and be okay with everything than be misinformed and not like smth cuz of it. yk?
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your knight
(or No The Zelenia Brainworms Have Not Taken Their Leave Yet)
because you know did your best even when it wasn't enough to save her, you swore to protect her and ensure she lives because her life is more important than your own, you hold yourself to an impossible standard because it's better that you take the slings and arrows of ignominy if it gives her purpose, your own self is nothing in comparison because your purpose is her and even when you can see naught else in the darkness that's all you need...right?
and that purpose, that devotion, is what you'll be remembered for, right?
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv gpose#dawntrail spoilers#femroe#my ocs: ellie wiltarwyn#my ocs: mia longhart#zelenia triantafylli#queen sphene#i the fool thought zelenia would be out of mind when i finished the wing grind!! but nope!!#what if i start making elaborate headcanons for her in order to draw deliberate parallels to my own large lady knight lesbians??#what if that somehow establishes some kind of connection between ellie/mia and sphene in the present?? WHAT IF THAT MEANS SOMETHING#“WHAT IF ZELENIA TRIANTAFYLLI WAS ELLIE'S AZEM SHARD OF THE NINTH” IS WHAT I'M GETTING AT DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE#idk dt hasn't given me a lot to work with in terms of story beats so i want to grasp at *something* lmao#and i have this idea swirling around the end of shb about how ellie and mia embody knight ideals for each other. and how yuri that is. idk.#idk! i'll keep thinking about it i just need to get this out of my brainspace lol
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SOREYY I KNOW PEOPLE DIDN'T FOLLOW ME FOR TADC CONTENT BUT 8GEH IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT JAX THAT FUCKED UP STUPID IDIOT
So now let me give u my overanaylizations and infodumping (most of it is Jax 💔 srry I'm Jax pilled)
- I'm so deadass when I say I didn't realize when Jax was talking about his "backstory" it was a Breaking Bad reference. I lowk thought his backstory was gonna be like a Charlotte situation from ONE maybe and then I realized it was a Breaking Bad reference, which makes it funnier
- It's interesting that Caine can in some way alter how the characters think (with how he made Jax vegan) makes u kinda think what's real and what's not or what the characters truly believe and what they don't
- I KNEW IT I KNEW THE REASON HE WAS SUCH AN ASS WAS SO HE DIDN'T GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE I KNEW IT BIG BRAIN BIG
- Also kind of random but trans Jax real
- ^ to go with that (I saw someone else say it and I very much agree) ofc canonically I feel like the main reason Jax didn't like the maid dress is like obvious, it would make him embarrassed esp when he doesn't rlly like to be embarrassed but to embarrass others. But with him being so viscerally upset about it, I like to project and say that it's bc he's transmasc and prob more dysphoric about it as well
- ^^ to also go with that I don't think anyone in the circus rlly knows he's trans since he's so closed off (I think even though Jax has been an ass to Gangle, she wouldn't do something like that, esp since she's close with Zooble who's expressed they're dysphoria before) maybe like Ribbit would've been the only one (probs Kaufmo too?? Think it's been hinted that was possibly another person Jax was close to before he abstracted, due to him being upset when Ragatha mentioned his funeral, and Jax not being present for said funeral) but no one for sure knows besides Jax himself (though I imagine he gives off hints)
- I think Ragatha mentioning how Jax has no more friends and us seeing later that friend was Ribbit also opens up more to maybe why he's upset. 1) Ofc the obvious, he lost a close friend and 2) maybe it got so bad for him mentally that he almost abstracted himself? So it just doesn't bring up good memories in general? We've seen multiple times how characters can almost abstract (Pomni and Gangle) and I wouldn't put it past Jax to have possibly been in so much mental distress that it almost happened to him, idk just a fun theory to play around with
- ^ maybe that could be a reason why he didn't attend Kaufmos funeral, Ribbits made him too upset (possibly causing some sort of breakdown or close abstraction as said)
- Gangle and Zooble lesbians real
- I feel like Jax maybe was like some sort of actor in his life, or like a comedian idk, something like that with how he breaks the 4th wall and is really good with improv when it comes to talking
- Pomni and Ragatha lesbians real (but make it tragic)
- Also I unironically love Bubble sm underrated character. I think this episode shows a clear shift in something going wrong with the ai, since Bubble is way more unhinged (even Caine notices) Caine is also kinda going insane (also with certain things like how Jax said he had a tail but then looks and has no tail)
- I find it funny Jax probably watches anime but just hates slice of life specifically
- Feel like the evil versions of them in some way could kind of project what they don't want to become/insecurities of who they are (Jax being more whimpy, Pomni being more cruel, etc.)
- Ik it's probably a joke but I feel the vegan thing could mean something (esp with Jax suggesting the first adventure and mentioning something about his mom which could be a throw away line but we never know)
- ^ maybe he used to hunt with his mom? Lived in the Savannah? Something like that
- Ragatha being a doll now makes a lot more sense and definetly confirms that everyone's design means SOMETHING
- ^ Ragatha being a doll could be like a representation of being thrown around and abused by her mother, Zooble being Zooble could represent dysphoria they had in they're past life, Jax could maybe be some thing to do with running away from his problems constantly, Gangle shows her fragile nature and also a representation of putting on a mask for depression, Kingers I feel has to do with his closeness with his wife being like a king and a queen together, and Pomnis is a little difficult but maybe something to do with like performance in some way idk
- I think Jax could've also grown up on a farm maybe since he had a reaction when hearing about it from Ragatha (That could maybe explain some sort of fear for corn idk)
- Them not knowing about Queenie is crazy, I'm wondering if she abstracted immediately after she got into the circus
- Very interesting seeing the beef Jax and Ragatha have, I knew it ran deeper then just "they hate each other" but I find it interesting how deep there beef could be
- I don't personally think it's super strange for Jax and Pomni to get close, Pomni out of all the cast makes sense due to her attitude, she tries to understand Jax rather than do what the others do (ignore him, be mean back, etc)
- I feel like a lot of Jax and how he is towards Gangle in specific could be him just trying to project, like a bully to the bullied. I imagine he has his own slew of mental problems which is why when he sees Gangle being happy after being depressed for so long he questions if she (or him for that matter of fact) can truly be happy aswell
- I think Ragatha is kinda pissed about Jax and Pomnis friendship for a couple reasons 1) Ragatha has been there longer than Pomni, she's probably been trying to get close to Jax for awhile but he doesn't budge, to her it can be frustrating seeing the new person, who hasn't been there for long, suddenly form and get more close to Jax so easily rather than her where it's probably taken longer and been harder to. 2) I think that's also something to do with how she's tried her hardest to make Pomni feel welcomed and tried really hard being Pomnis close friend. 3) the obvious, she's a people pleaser, she clearly wants everyone to view her as good and nice, she cares more about others than herself. And 4) being kinda left alone on her own at the end of the episode (also secret answer 5. Probably something to do with her and Jax realationship, I feel like they've had some sort of falling out or big arguement before the events of the show)
- I think the reason Jax sees Ragathas attempts at connection and kindness as trying to take advantage of people could be his own experiences regarding someone else in his past life or Ragatha herself, another reason is due to how he doesn't open up, he sees it as being taken advantage of when people wanna know him
- ^ to go with that Ribbits abstraction probably didn't help that, probably making him think that even if he DOES get close to someone they eventually leave in some way
- Also WHY R WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE MANNEQUIN?? He's up to something and idk what it is, could be another example of the ai going rougue
- Kingers favorite color is black I think
- ^ Pomnis is possibly red??
- Rlly cool how much range and emotion Jax shows in the episode, idk what happened at Spudsys but if it made the man start to break down his walls than I can only imagine
That's all I rlly have rn, huge info dump mainly hcs and theories plus Jax post ofc, but I hope u enjoyed my info dumping. If I have more I'll let u gamers know okay bye bye
#tadc episode 5#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc jax#tadc zooble#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc kinger#tadc caine#tadc bubble#tadc gangle#tadc headcanons#tadc theories#i love u jax amazing didgital cusfueejjr#jax the ever#K9 yaps
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what do u think r important aspects of the IPRE crew that can be easily overlooked or like misunderstood? I'm so obsessed with all ur thoughts towards the characters i wanna hear every thought uve ever had about them LOLL
ahh thank you!!! i think about them SO often..
i don't know that its fair to say its overlooked/misunderstood per se for davenport since he has so little screentime and most characterization for him is more or less invented wholecloth but i wish people explored his wrath more often. we don't really see what that actually is in reference to in canon, but that just means there are a lot of directions to take it and i think it has a lot of potential to be really interesting
merle in general is kind of easy to overlook.. he's a fantastic character but also just like. he's very understated for the majority of the story. and there's a lot of interesting themes but i don't know what to do with them. him and his kids, his tendency to run away, that's interesting. his failed marriage and his response in wonderland's dating game and the way he sees romance, that's really interesting. his relationship to faith and divinity, that's interesting as well. everything to do with john is extremely interesting. but i don't know what direction to take it or how to make it into something coherent if that makes any sense
i think for barry its like. guilt. like the scene where he's talking to taako right before lup disappears, taako talks about feeling weird and out of place in this world that's meant to be home now, and barry says "i would feel guilty being a citizen in a world that i... poisoned." which is in reference to the relics, obviously, and a lot of other characters feel guilty about it too, and are all rationalizing it as best they can. but he denies himself participation in the world because of it. and then also in his coin monologue he feels like his love for lup (and imo widely for the crew) "defined and redeemed" him. what's that about? what did he need redeeming for? all i can think of is that 1. he's kind of a dick with his memories gone, and 2. on the judges' cycle, his sins were sloth and envy, that he never participated in the world and was jealous of those who did. but damn, do those things really need redeeming? that's such a strong word to use. idk i guess it just sorta seems like he's someone with a lot of guilt
god what ISN'T overlooked and misunderstood about taako... i think if i had to pick just one it would be that most people are aware that his idiot wizard thing is a facade, but i think you have to go farther than that too and recognize how deeply intelligent he is. like that is his major character defining trait to me more than anything else, he's pragmatic and shrewd and clever. and actually i can't just pick one because he's goofy too. it gets lost a little bit because its easier to remember the emotional moments in the show and because its a comedy podcast so everyone else is funny too, but like, he's just a strange guy and he is intentionally goofy in-universe in a way merle and magnus aren't as much. like they crack jokes sometimes but taako has pocket pudding and pretends to be godzilla and does silly dances to cheer up his sister ykwim
for lup i think i'd just say the full extent of her effect on the story is easy to overlook because she's only actually present toward the end. the reason lup haunts the narrative is because she is literally a ghost carried in taako's hand but also because she set the whole thing in motion by coming up with the relic plan and then disappearing. she's eminently important to the entire thing because of her choices and convictions. like her relic was the first one the boys encountered !! they come across her body before they even meet lucretia!!
magnus is hard because his arc is so laid out and clear in the show so i think it's pretty difficult to overlook parts of his character? and i'm not much of a magnus scholar lol. i guess i'd just say that he's pretty ruthless and violent sometimes, like he cares about his friends for sure and he loves to pet dogs and everything but he's also murdered a lot of people lmao. which like. i find interesting the way the medium (dnd) intersects with the story. you can characterize your fighter as a rustically hospitable gentle giant all you want but in the end he is going to murder people with an axe because that's how the game works. which is kind of horrific. its odd
lucretia is such a complicated character it's difficult to fully capture her.. but the thing that's coming to mind is how like. unsure she can be. its easy to think of her as someone with a lot of confidence and conviction because she's so in control and has so much gravitas, but in the smaller quieter moments, i'm particularly thinking of her convo with merle at the spa, she seems to be sort of trying to convince herself she did the right thing. like, i'm not saying she's indecisive or plagued by doubt, we see that's not the case, but stubborn as she is, she also seems to second-guess herself a bit, which i think in the end makes her an even more well-rounded character
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For the sebaciel ask:
Who would kiss who first?
What do you think made Seb initially fall for Ciel?
What do you think is one thing Ciel would change about Seb?
What sort of date do you think Seb wants to have with Ciel (excluding the final soul-eating date)? Where would they go and what would they do?
who would kiss who first
the easy answer is Sebastian bc he dgaf and doesn't have all these societal norms drilled into his brain. I don't think he would do it just randomly though. it's either life-or-death/post life-or-death or in a way where he steadily seduces ciel and he finally breaks and gives Sebastian an opportunity to do it.
however no matter how unlikely the thought of ciel randomly asking for a kiss bc he needs to 'test something' is too funny. he's like idk what is happening to me so I'm gonna study myself and my reactions to see wtf is wrong and how do I fix it. come kiss me now. (nothing is fixed ofc bc kissing Sebastian turns out to be way more pleasant and addictive than he anticipated. After the initial kiss he thinks about it for a loooong time.... and wants another 👀)
what initially made seb fall for ciel
I mean it's in the source material ig: his determination, selfishness and cunning nature. and the juxtaposition of his lighter and darker side. bc if he was truly cruel this would not be fun.
Also ciel is a kind of a spiderman (or a roach) in a way. no matter how many times he fails he always gets up and fights.
but this is what everyone knows. now let's dream for a bit. I think ciel's mannerisms and cute looks made it easier for Sebastian to fall for him. he is a cat by nature and Sebastian is obsessed with them. so maybe this resemblance played a role that maybe Sebastian isn't aware of. and he's also very beautiful and Sebastian is a lover of beautiful things.
'don't you know that an earl being pretty is like a demon being submissive? You wouldn't serve an earl just because he's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?'
one thing ciel would change about sebastian
I think he would make it so Sebastian could not avoid answering his questions. bc the present contract terms still leave him a lot of room for twisting words and meanings. and sebastian does not like answering questions that somehow put him in a vulnerable position. he avoids questions about his demonic nature and history. and ciel in my head would really like to know him better.
to me ciel is not the only one with walls, Sebastian just hides them better.
Sebastian's idea of a perfect date
I mean if Sebastian could cure ciel's allergies he would do it in an instant so they can go to some cat place like a cat cafe maybe? (idc about historical accuracy) I think ciel would be annoyed at first d but seeing Sebastian so openly happy would make him go soft.
they could also go for a stargazing picnic on a very warm summer night. (idk why I just love them watching stars together) they could bring ciel's favourite deserts and Sebastian would feed him with a spoon all cute and sensual. and them ofc some under the stars kissing and fucking. (he even brought a small pillow to go under ciel's ass for his comfort)
I would also love the idea of Sebastian being able to spread his wings and take ciel for a flight. ciel would be terrified but knowing that Sebastian would def keep him safe calms him down. and the adrenaline and sense of freedom is very nice.
Sebastian, being unable to keep himself from mischief, would def let go of ciel for a couple of seconds so he freefalls and then catch him in his arms again with a slightly evil laugh. ciel would almost have a heart attack and he would scream like crazy (he would get yelled at and punished but he would have no regrets)
thank you for such great asks I had fun answering them!!! 💋💋💋💋
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the overwhelming NEED to rewrite RHATO
#im working on my wips im working on my wips im working on my#woof.txt#dc#i won't start anything i swear i promise on my knees i won't start a new project until my current wips are finished but chat i have THOUGHT#i have so many ideas . about everything all the time#i already have an outline and character design ideas and. ughhh#crashing tf OUT gamers#need to make a presentation about it or something idk
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Let's talk about the clock keepers boundary!
(warning: spoilers until chapter 124!!)
I've had some guess on where they could be from so let's look at what we have in the manga for now. I will keep things on surface level for the most part but it's just some things I noticed!
The first mention of the town is in chapter 111, where we finally have a view on their boundary.
A lot of fans already guessed from their clothes that they were not from Japan, this panel definitely confirms it and even points more precizely to a European country, mostly Western Europe. And also a country where Winter with snow exist.
It's also not an English speaking country, since Akane cannot understand the language and we know he has english classes at school.
Now there are several things we can look at to have more clues!
First, the architecture.
This type of house is called Timbered framed houses. It’s important to note that the roofs on those houses are really really sharp here. Which means theywere built for snow, so it can slide off the roofs more easily. The trees are also pines, something that can be found in a lot of Europe. (wood was needed to be able to create houses made of wood/with visible Framework( Little note: I know Italy was a guess for a lot of person because of the link to Pinocchio, but Italy main material for houses is stone not wood. And it is also not known for its winter.)
Here we can also see bricks which is something more associated to countries like Germany, Belgium or the Nertherlands, we don't have the colors so we can't guess from which minerals it was made for now.
But we have even more informations when we look at chapter 124!
The bridge and tower may be inspired by a fortified city, something that you could find A LOT in Western Europe during the middle age, not a lot of cities still have their entire walls but you can still see it if you go into old medieval towns. We can also see something that looks like a Belfry on several panels. Towers used mostly to indicate each passing hour of the day (may be a campanile or a bell tower (the difference is wether it's linked to religion or not basically)
Second! Let's do a little bit of clock making history!
I won't go into details, but there are some countries to point for this. England, The Netherlands and Germany. We already took out England before and we can easily erase Nertherlands from the list with the next step (my favorite one).
The food! I already had my suspicions confirmed with this bonus art from volume 22.
First of all, they have tea which is not something that was in Europe before the XVII century. But let's look at the sweets they have here.
Chocolates which look close to Belgian chocolate ( I say Belgian but other countries' chocolate is pretty close to it) , Christstollen Cake, and Spiztbuden.
We have even more to look at with the new chapter! And they confirm that it's indeed a stollen cake.
With all these foods it's now pretty obvious which area the clock keepers are inspired from.
Stollen cakes are German cakes, ginger cookies are from Germany too. I will also add that there is a chance the crescent moon cookies are VanilleKipferl. We have another panel showing Sausages and bread. Only the Almond is something not typical from Germany but which clearly was all over Western Europe with trades.
Their city already looked like the 'perfect christmas city' you can see in movies, inspired by German culture. And they also mention Mulled Wine which is THE beverage to take in any chritmas market in Europe.
Chritmas markets are inspired and coming from Germany first, but I wanna point something more.
My main guess was, Nuremberg, the city where the ancestor of the pocket watch was created, the Nuremberg Egg. It's also a Fortified city and it has forests around it. It's also known for its Ginger cookies!
So Germany would be a great pic, but the more I think about it the more I can also see the link to another region: Alsace.
Alsace is a region from France right now BUT it's a mixt of german and french culture (I will not make a history lesson but it is a place that always switched between France and Germany basically, now it's French).
All the food mentionned before are also made in the Alsace region!
It's situated in the Vosges, a chain of mountains known to have a lot of forets of pines and which is known to have villages like this:
Which were also the main inspirations for movies like Howl's moving castle for example. You can see the similarities between the artchitectures
The first ever Chritmas Market was in Strasbourg, the capital of Alsace, when it was German and it spread accross Europe after.
I will now look at something I usually don't do because I exclude Aus from canon but it's just a funny thing to point out.
This au shows a snow town inspired by ginger bread houses. I just find it funny because Aoi is shown as a baker, with bread (which are not baguette I think, it's way larger here) but with some croissant on her table (disclaimer: Croissant are not french at first, this form here is, but it's from Austria otherwise) And Kako clearly has something similar to a Wine bottle in his hands. This au is the only one featuring them, was given with their volumes and the vibes are really similar to their boundary.
I would say no matter what it's definitely closer to German culture but I wanted to point out this region which is known for it's Christmas season and its typical houses.
I will mostly say that it's an inspiration from this region of Europe, I don't know if a real country is the reference for it since we don't even know where tbhk takes place, but it's always funny to look at those things :DD
Little bonus:
In a more messy note, the clothes. I put them at the end because besides their hats, I had no idea how to describe it, since it seems pretty typical of what people could wear in winter.
I did the research in the other way, to look for German and Alsacian clothing to see if it match and it kinda does but I don't think it's speficific to this region. The girls wear classic white Charlotte and big clothes with layers for Winter.
The clock keepers clothes are different, it looks like a mixt of Japanese and western European clothing (especially from england).
Their main outfits for Akane and Kako really just look like a typical waistcoast/costume you can find in the XIXth century in Europe and Mirai's seems more inspired by a mixt of a Kimono with several layers(she also has sandals and frills) and a coat? The little knots Kako and Akane have on their coats look like something inspired from Mizuhiki knots too (I actually saw a costume with those exact same knots in a museum but I didn't take a picture rip)
So I would say they probably changed slowly their attire when they arrived in Japan, we don't know since how many times they are here, but we know that what is happening in the deeper place of the boundary is linked to memories previous to their arrival. According to their origin I think we can say that it's pretty sure they arrived after the Meiji/during the Meiji Era in Japan (1868/1912), since it's a this time Japan mostly imported Western culture (for clothing here, the first contact was before this. And note: it was mostly rich people who dressed like this). And If we look at some others dates like the things they are eating, used to have or even their clothes, I would say it's more probably the Meiji Era and not in the XVs.
Another note is that their clocks have the numbers written in japanese on it (in the og version but it maye just be so it's readable for the japanese readers? idk if it's a choice or not).
I haven't searched much on their clothes but it was still something I wanted to note here ^^
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#aoi akane#jibaku shounen hanako kun#ramblings#jibaku shonen hanako kun#this is messy af but I needed this out of my system#the three clock keepers#been looking at the food since one year and I only say something now djskd#I will be honest I didn't look on Alsace first because since i know this region#I was just 'this is way too easy'#when it's kinda close ahah#I really didn't dig on several stuff tbh#tbhk analysis#plz don't take this too seriously#it was just really funny to do#tumblr plz show it in the tags#for the architecture part I once again asked my architect sibling youhou#the clock keepers are a little insane as they should be 💕#idc much about the plots I am here for the clock keepers lore rip#sorry ti my german and french mutu1ls who will have flashbacks of history lessons with Alsace#once again the audience target is me#but if someone is as insane about the clock keepers as I am I hope they will like this#been to germany some times but Maybe I am wrong lol#I know the cakes are found in Alsace idk how present they are in Germany#“let's talk about clock making history!” *proceeds to not explain anything* izbdlkzkkd I am sorry help#I don't wanna ramble on that too much but I like stuff related to time and how to mesure it it's so so cool
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I know the discourse well is poisoned and no one hates bioware games more than bioware fans, but I am just 🫠 having so much fun with veilguard it's unreal. It is selfishly the dragon age game I always wanted. with less emphasis on cRPG, a more focused story, curated mission based design that spotlights the high fantasy stuff, slowburn structure with companions, significantly less sidequest bloat, and a fully real-time action-oriented combat system that isn't riddled with the growing pains of previous titles. when I first played origins I imagined something almost exactly like this as my ideal version of a sequel; and it was one of those dirty, selfish thoughts that I knew was disrespectful to the then-established DNA of the thing, but I can't help but feel giddy about having it here and now. like down to the shift away from the childishly dark tone and to something more inherently flexible with a baseline aspirational quality. I hate aesthetically depressing games so much. am I not alive right here and right now already
When I say "aesthetically" there though I do mean it. I'm fully on the opposite side when it comes to tone and positions expressed in the story itself. I am just not including that in my analysis because I am not done yet - so please no spoilers! I think I am where most people consider to be the second act, and I definitely have my gripes with the narrative framework and some of the optics, but I won't put the cart before the horse and will see how it wraps things up first. Above that level, in terms of how it presents itself, of how it plays, of how it balances its core pillars - it is such a bioware-ass game and I could not be any cozier in it. So grateful it exists
#and thank god for that reboot away from live service horseshit they were pushing. this is the most offline ass game in ages. bless#anyway no one is allowed to reblog this because people here aren't normal and I am afraid of spoilers#but I cant pretend not to adore every second of Beef Hilda Mercar and her adventures as a shadow dragon reaper#I have her fully invested in shield throws. that shit couldnt bounce better if zagreus was tossing it#also everyone is so pretty 🫠 this is the first time for me in a bioware game where like#purely aesthetically. i feel targeted and manipulated. these people feel designed around my tastes it's so embarassing#text#dragon age#okay I gotta mention one more thing. it is a very specific ass peeve I have#their dialogue system has never felt as.. nimble in their frostbite titles. something about the constant fades in and out and click delays#it all feels insecure on the engine-end side to me. maybe I am dumb. but veilguard also has this issue#like the original 2 DAs and the unreal engine mass effects had such snappy and frictionless selection-to-dialogue feel#and their frostbite titles I swear to god some greare is missing in the wheels there. here too. it is a LITTLE annoying since this is like#my favorite part of engaging with their games. it's not a huge issue but I have grown keenly attuned to it#inquisition had horribly bad delays in response selection. andromeda had those godawful delays in starting and ending convos#and those things are still somewhat present here albeit to a lesser degree. it feels like a streaming thing#idk. I do not make games. but I think that shit needs to feel smoother
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today’s thoughts are of chigiri having a crush on his sister’s friend
#pie.talk#maybe crush is too light a word lol he is obsessed#i also like to think it makes him sweat a little#like you only know him from the cutified little brother lense Koyuki has presented him in#like yes he is a professional football player and has a very confident personality and admirable drive#but he also believed in santa until he was like 11 and you probably hear a bunch of other stories from Koyuki#that paint him as a spoiled little brother with a questionable personality#i think u usually only tend to see each other when in the presence of Koyuki and i feel like he's a bit more squishy around his family#i do think he is still pretty bold and blatant about his affection for u since that's just who he is#but u also know a lot about him from a source he has no control over so i think that makes him maybe nervous? a little pissed off? lol#his worst enemy is the 'little brother hyoma' image that exists in your head thanks to Koyuki#like you smile at him or say something nice to him and it sorta makes him crash out. he needs you to like him for HIM not because of Koyuki#he is working overtime and okay maybe he is leaning into the younger brother image a tiny bit to worm his way into your heart more#lulling you into a false sense of peacefulness until he lays it on really thick (bam sudden corny kabedon idk) he WILL have you#if ur still here...#this is now the sengoku period au portion#you are the wetnurse for koyuki's son and you live at the chigiri estate tragic past etc the cw list is longggg#he's effected by an old knee injury and is coddled by his family because he's the heir so he's extra antsy and huffy#rules? him being the clan heir? ur respect and gratitude for his sister and wishing to repay her?#he does not care and he will have you#comes off way too strong it feels like you're being hunted even though he is respectful of ur boundaries to an extent#eyes too intense#words too bold and direct and when he finally touches you it's so passionate and reverent it feels like ur burning#all consuming#you love it despite feeling that you do not deserve it
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reading an article on narcissus and goldmund and thinking "this is way too focused on jungian archetypes and not queer enough. also not batshit crazy enough"
#don't get me wrong the article wasn't bad in fact it was very interesting#but i think that looking at it solely from jungian lens (or other referencial material) doesn't do the book justice#also the anima and animus analysis imo doesn't often work#for the fact that 1. we have two characters who are presented as the opposites while both being men#who are two sides of the same coin/could be read as two halves of one person (I Need To Examine That More).#3. if we explore anima in goldmund... then wtf do we explore in narcissus? like ... the Default? the Man?#(tbh i think anima/animus are quite silly concepts despite being progressive then and jung def being onto something)#i actually like that the concepts of maternal (physical) and paternal (spiritual) worlds are in a way divorced from the gender#they're more like prevalent parts in individual humans (but innate to everyone in different proportions)#4. ultimately both represent two extremes to the point of not being ''realistic'' human beings at times#but still reaching to the other side/world because. well how can you live otherwise#narcissus with his love toward goldmund that retains his personhood and makes him question everything he believes in#golmund finding an outlet to the intense chaotic fleeting and cruel nature of material world in the form of art (partially spirit)#(also even prayers are presented as this kind of therapeudic quasi form of art which is interesting)#side note: it's a loss that we don't see TheSpirit in fem characters. there are moments that made me wonder that about lydia and lizbeth#but idk if that was the intention with them i might be reading too much into it#yet we have agnes who is in a way a reflection of goldmund equal to him... what a woman#txttag#narcissus and goldmund#hermann hesse#don't mind me i Still haven't processed this novel and i might have been ogre ulysses meme all these years#but im reluctant on reading about it because the novel is deeply personal to me and i wanna exercise my own thoughts#this time i just kinda stumbled upon it as i was looking for a (free) digital version of the book lmao#you used to be able to just google search an old book in russian and read/download it... what a shame
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wheee
#star's shinies#mostly just messing with light no further commentary#I thought I did but I couldn't find the panel I wanted to reference#I may have misremembered it or had a different translation sooo#yeah no random meta today#Actually#why does viper consider Oroborous to be their strongest illusion when mirage R is so overpowered#idk maybe I missed something but I think it more speaks to their perception of power and control#they have that whole illusions vs martial arts thing going on with fon but the illusions they claim are their most powerful... are the ones#that are real? not the ones that affect the mind so strongly#I think part of that is that they have clearly had to prove themselves a lot *to* people who don't value that power#which has led to that duality of the pride and arrogance they present with their seemingly low actual opinion of themself and their talents#also#fon and mammon have many neat parallels I think#they may have been designed to be similar in that way even? opposing colours (light vs dark) but still that flowy shape language#but primarily in their flames#disintegration and construction exist in opposition to each other while also relying on the same? axis? maybe? idk#+ you get that kind of personality conflict where the one with the destructive powers is calm and controlled while the one with the creativ#powers is unstable and almost fragile#which in some ways makes their powers uniquely dangerous in their hands specifically- there are many destructive and angry storm users#in khr but that power in the hands of someone who will think before using it is much more worrying#and unstable mist users are shown again and again to be especially dangerous because someone who can bend reality losing their grip on#reality is a recipe for disaster#and to think I said I had no meta today#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#viper khr#mammon khr#fon khr#not in the art but I rambled about him in the tags enough that I think I need to tag him
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i know i shouldnt dwell on stupid opinions like this but a while ago i saw someone complain that Applin was a boring concept bc its just a worm in an apple and i was FLOORED. this iirc was in response to smth about gen 1 designs being boring as well
its not just a worm its a Wyrm its a pun. that is a concept. maybe you don't like it personally but to say its objectively bad is certainly Something. not every pokemon has to be based on a myth or something else fantastical to be a good concept. you Need "boring" pokemon for the dex to feel complete, if Everything is Cool then nothing is actually cool
"gamefreak is running out of ideas" yeah there's a billion fish pokemon but they're all actually very different to each other, lanturn is an anglerfish and lumineon is a butterfly fish. say what you will abt gamefreak rn its probably warranted but imo the one thing they still do right 100% of the time is unique concepts for each pokemon. the execution can be debated but the fundamentals are always there
#clai speaks#does this make sense#i get so annoyed every time i see the ''they're running out of ideas!!!!'' thing parroted all the time i had to say SOMETHING#like yeah you're gonna find some pokemon boring. theres a thousand of them now with all different designs#theres no way all 1000 are going to cater to you specifically. impossible#but to then fault the ENTIRE THING. get mad at people when they like the mon you think is lazily designed or boring or whatever#sorry not every pokemon can have the lore relevance of cosmog or reshiram or ogerpon? i guess????#you Need some toned down concepts for a good creature collector. or any game with a vast array of enemies to fight#are you expecting to go to route 1 and find reality-bending dragons there?#honestlyyyyy i don't actually even think gen 1 designs are Boring. yeah they aren't at the same standard as modern mons#but for the time they were perfectly acceptable. its been almost 30 years yeah things will change#maybe i;m just mad bc i'm a huge fan of several ''boring'' mons. fearow is so bland but i love it a lot#all the regional birds actually. no 1 unfezant defender#idk i should stop here i'm rambling too much. point is. i just wish people would stop treating opinions as objective fact#you dont like applin. thats cool. others do tho stop being pushy about it ok#i realize now maybe its hypocritical to complain abt others having these opinions its just. the way they always present it irks me yknow???#ahhh whatever. i think i;m making myself mad now JHDBJHBHJF#guy cares too much about pokemon opinions pt 126736
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Still thinking about the berdly asgore paralles... hmm.
#hastag yap tag#im not tagging them#its just interesting. that these two characters of all of them have this thing(tm)#in common of not being self aware enough to realize their making the women in their lives uncomfortable with their unwanted advances#like yes we know berdly only thinks noelle is interested in him. but when he develops a crush on susie he behaves much the same way.#hes just. very very desperate for affection. and asgore of course is this big ole pile of denial of the past and the present.#of course this extends out of their romantic relationships too with berdlys superiority complex isolating him and asgores...that. doing#something similar. i dont know where im going with this. i just think its neat.#admittedly im softer on berdly than he probably deserves but its also interesting how both of these characters get passes for their behavio#from certain parts of the fandom by virtue of being a teenage boy and father respectively.#side note: asgore is way more mentally ill than berdly is but thats a discussion for another day.#i mostly just like how deltarune is much more overt in its discussion of gender than undertale was. you got characters not conforming#characters conforming and even more specifc examples of sexism. alas i wish the fandom would allow you to call berdlys actions#influenced by sexism more than autism without shitting the bed about it. it majorly annoys me. like yeahhh we cant call out this teenage bo#making the women in his life uncomfortable because hes autistic. your ableist actually if you think this is an aspect of his character.#do i think berdly or asgores the characters think less of women? no. i do think they are being used to discuss entitlement however.#idk man im procrastinating and i just need to word vomit#ill have to look into it more but outside of this specific thing i wonder if theres more the two have in common.
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things I wish I could relive for the first time again:
that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.
because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.
like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.
#this is currently about arcane but it's also every fandom i've been in since the dawn of time#there is so much political discourse about how the show handled the piltover zaun conflict and class struggle and i just#like i don't even know what to say besides. art doesn't have to provide the correct answer you know#it's not asking you to accept their explanation as the right one. it's just presenting a story. a scenario. a nuanced one at that#which of course the internet is the enemy of nuance as we know#especially in arcane i thought it was fairly clear that the end wasn't the bright shining future anyone hoped it'd be.#was anyone right in their actions? did anything turn out the way they wanted? or was it just as messy and gray as real life#we're living in such a myopic time for art where it's believed every story must take the correct stance or be invalid or even harmful#instead of just offering a perspective. a lived experience. a hypothetical. a story.#and when it gets to be headache inducing all I can do is take myself back to how I felt when I watched the show for the first time#and I came away from the whole thing being incredibly moved and captivated by the entire story and its nuance.#i had no qualms and no criticisms and i was very impressed with the depth of storytelling surrounding the political parts of the plot#as well as the character arcs. i guess people like to dunk on viktor's s2 arc nowadays and i just. shrug. i was blown away by it#for me at least i have nothing but pure love and admiration for art after i've viewed it. it's only after interacting with fandom#that the criticisms seep in and now i can't unsee it and even if i don't agree with it it still muddies my ability to enjoy the art#fandom is a curse in that sense. like i seek out art that i enjoy. i have no desire to make myself dislike that art. whats the point#why are the biggest haters of a piece of media the 'fans' of it idk.#me finishing a show: wow i love all the characters and the plot and the cinematography! I want to talk to others about how cool it is!#meanwhile the fandom hating characters to the point of death threats to their creators#after 13 years in fandom i can say this - if you don't need to join the fandom for smth then don't lmao.#you'll be able to retain your genuine enjoyment of the thing.#that whole 'if you didnt like what i made then make your own' philosophy people use on fanfic/fanart should be applied more#to actual published art too. you should be able to meet art where it's at and if you don't like what it's saying or how it looks then#just move on and find something else. another branch of the 'the greatest enemy of the left is the left' tree imo#a show has a lot of queer rep? bash it to the point of making the creators go into hiding for not doing it how you think it should be#no artist will ever be able to satisfy everyone's demands. they just want to put their experiences and ideas into the world#creators that try to do good get more vitriol than those who never try. they're scrutinized harder and judged more harshly#it's just. one of those 'real fucking tired of fandom' nights. the best cure is just going back and rewatching the source material#all on your own and falling back in love with it. just you and your genuine connection with the art.#anyway what happened to steven universe was unforgiveable and it really ruined fandom for me. like. yall don't deserve nice things
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
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