#neither of these goobers know what they’re doing and I love it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gaybananabread · 7 months

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I might be forgetful or just obsessed, but I don't think anyone's asked for headcanons about our Spider Gang: Miles, Gwen, Pavitr, and Hobie. >w< Or just your favorites, of course. I admit I'm most curious about Gwen and Hobie.

-Panda/Black Feathers

🕸️Spider Gang Tkl Headcanons☆

~What's wrong with both? But yeah, I've yet to do headcanons with these goobers. I don't know this “consistency” people speak of, so expect none of it. I do wanna add some other spider peeps to these, but we'll keep it to the Gang for now. Expect some more food, probably within the next few weeks. Thank you for the request!~

🎧Miles🎨

General:

We can all agree that he's a massive dork about this, right?

He's a lee-leaning switch, though it's close.

Loves tickling both ways, but can admit neither.

Boy gets squirmy every time the word is even mentioned. You bet he practically dies when any scene comes on TV

Lee:

Lee moods for him are quite frequent.

His friends have a system for detecting them at this point. Checklist and everything if they feel like being goofs.

Nervous giggles, extra knee bounces, higher voice, showier clothes if he's bold, easy blushes and jumpiness. They've got him down to a T at this point (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

Super squirmy lee, you almost definitely need to pin him if you wanna live. Known for his donkey-kicks.

Worst spots are his armpits. He will screech if you even try to get him there. Not a spot for the weak-willed.

Melt spot is his neck. A few fluttering fingers, maybe gentle scritches under his chin, and you’ll have a giggly puddle of sleepy mirth.

Real easy to fluster. Say the t-word a few times, compliment his inevitable blush, maybe incorporate the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Immediate results!

He feels like he'd be super air-ticklish. Can not handle any wiggling fingers or sneaky teases.

Doesn't ask for what he wants, like, ever. Gotta use your detective skills around him (the checklist above is very helpful (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠))

Ler:

Such a shit, even though he can't handle a fraction of what he dishes out-

Absolutely webs people up to help himself (only if they're comfy with it ofc)

Very playful and teasing. You blush? Get ready for him to point it out at least seven times. Snort? Good luck.

“Your cheeks are all red, gigglebox. This fluster you that bad?”

“Aww, you snort? No, don't hide your face! I wanna hear it again!”

“What d’ya think happens when I go here? Yeah, right there. Only one way to find out~”

Once he gets a handle on his venom power, he learns that very small shocks can be quite effective in wrecking his lee.

So, Miles being Miles, abuses that knowledge at the most inopportune times.

Little jolts during training, walking through the halls, studying, you name it. By the end of the day, people are either ready to kill him or want him to just get it over with. He's happy either way.

Has high respect for boundaries. Before starting, he'll make sure the safeword is remembered and clarify what they're comfortable with.

Super nice aftercare. Cuddles, snacks and maybe listening to some music and napping on him while he sketches.

🥁Gwen🩰

General:

I’m gonna go with ler-leaning switch. Like Miles, it’s pretty close. These kids just love to laugh ¯\_(´꒳`)_/¯

A bit better in terms of confidence. If it’s a good day and the mood isn’t too severe, she can ask one of her close friends. Other than that, suffering until someone notices.

Lee:

When she gets lee moods, everyone is almost immediately alerted.

Either she has the courage to ask, or in the more likely event that she doesn’t, she’ll provoke everyone.

Snippy comments, crop tops, hair up, sarcasm for days, and THE SASSSS

If they don’t realize she’s in a lee mood, they’re gonna wreck her anyway for getting on their nerves.

A squirmer for sure, though not quite as bad as Miles. Careful of her legs, though. She was a dancer; that kind of strength combined with spider-power won’t feel very good to the jaw.

Worst spot is her navel. A few raspberries and she’ll be a cackling, snorty mess.

Melt spots are her back and ears. She loves light traces and scratches along her back, and a feather on the shells of her ears would be heavenly.

Adores cheer-up tickles. You’ll make her entire week if you gently trace her belly or squeeze her sides when she’s upset.

She’s got a really pitchy, bubbly laugh. You get her to belly laugh, and you’ll be rewarded with lovely snorts.

Ler:

VERY sassy and playful. Will tease the living hell out of you and giggle while she does it.

Anything she can tease you for, she will. Usually teasing-compliments, but she shakes it up.

“Such an adorable belly! It’s like it was made for me to poke and squeeze. Can’t deny its purpose, can I?

“It’s so easy to fluster you! I just need to say that one little word, and you can hardly breathe~”

“It tickles, does it? Sucks to be you. Now, onto those ribs…”

Gwen likes doing her nails with her friends, so those babies are always nice and tickly. The boys can never manage to keep theirs like that, no matter how hard they try.

She likes blowing raspberries if it’s someone she’s close to. Loves the silliness, and their reactions are just too cute.

Very good at giving cheer-up/comfort tickles. If someone’s upset, they go to Gwen for some special pick-me-ups.

Wondrous aftercare. Back rubs, praises and a movie night. She’ll even braid your hair if that’s something you’d enjoy.

✮Hobie🎸

General:

The switchest spider to walk the Earth, I dare you to fight me on this/j

So chill on both fronts. He just goes with the flow.

Has magic “can say the t-word whenever” powers, loves abusing them.

Absolute menace in tickle fights. He’ll either kick your ass, or fluster the hell out of you while you attempt to wreck him.

If anyone’s in a mood, lee or ler, Hobie’s their best bet.

Lee:

Okay, so…he definitely is open to being wrecked by his friends.

One of them has a killer ler mood? Hobie’s here to help. He’s gonna be all teasy about it, but it’s quickly replaced with giggles.

When he’s just straight-up in a lee mood, he can ask with next to no problems. Coincidentally, he “accidentally” flusters his ler more often than not.

If he just doesn’t feel like asking, he’ll put on a crop top, rest his arms behind his head, and wait for someone to get a ler mood or try something.

We can all agree that this smug bastard would try to fluster his ler, right?

Holding his arms up without being asked, telling them to keep going, how good they’re doing, “Ready when you are~”, teasing them for “staring,” the list goes on.

Worst spots are his feet, followed by his underarms and hips. He’s not always in the mood for footer tickles though, so the pits are your best shot.

Melt spots are his calves and palms. Mr. Guitar would adore some hand tickles, and the tall prick deserves some draw-backs.

Rumbly, base-sounding giggles if it isn’t that bad a spot. If it is, you’ll get loud, boisterous, scraggy laughter. Very fun to find and point out the differences to him, he’ll definitely appreciate it! ( ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )

Ler:

He has two sides, one very different from the other.

The first is gentle, comforting tickles. He won’t go too fast or vigorous, only upping the ante if you ask or seem ready.

“Those some cute giggles ya got there, mate. Glad you’re sharin’~”

“You’re adorable, ya know that? All blushes an’ squirms, but you ain’t said ‘stop’ once~”

The other is the one you should be terrified of.

Evil teases, immediate worst-spot tickles, keeps you laughing until you’re in tears (unless you tap out beforehand)

“Wha’s that? Oh, tickles, does it? Good, ya needed a laugh.”

“Man, you’re laughin’ pre’y hard. Blushin’, too. I didn’ know any better, I’d say yer enjoyin’ yourself~”

Either way, he listens to boundaries and stops whenever you ask/seem like you’re done. Boy is all about respect, in this sense anyway.

He definitely plays the lee-guitar game. Your ribs are now his strings. Might even get his pick out if he’s feeling really evil.

Changes up his methods for each lee (let’s stick with the gang’s regular moods here before I go on a tangent)

For Pav, he’s a smug asshole. Lots of fake-outs before he actually starts, continuously calls his reactions “fuckin’ adorable” to see him blush. No mercy until it’s needed.

With Miles, he’s a bit less evil. Mainly just teases him for being so ticklish and his blushes.

For Gwen, he’s rougher. She usually likes to forget her name, and he’s more than happy to help. Raspberries, teases, the whole nine. Whatever gets her cackling.

Amazing with aftercare. Will pull you into his lap for cuddles, and he gives incredible massages and back rubs. Praise for days if you need them, and even if you don’t, he’s happy to supply them.

🪷Pavitr☕

General:

Suuuuuch a sunshine boy I swearrrrrr ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

He gives lee-leaning switch. Loves getting his ass handed to him, but occasionally loves making his friends giggle and squeal.

Can admit that he likes both sides, though he can only say the t-word itself if he isn’t flustered.

Always up for helping one of his friends if they’re in a ler mood, and sometimes ready to wreck them for the greater good (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Lee:

Loves being tickled, especially if he’s in a really bad lee mood.

Most of the time, he’ll whine to either Hobie or Gayatri that he’s “feeling fuzzy” and they’ll get the message. If he isn’t that worked up, he’ll flat out ask.

Very squirmy little worm, though he doesn’t flail like some of the others. Has accidentally headbutted before though, so careful if you’re messing with his neck.

Decently easy to fluster, though it takes a while to wreck him. You’ve gotta know exactly what you’re doing to really get him good (just ask Hobie or Miles, they’re loving narcs)

Worst spot is his belly, specifically his navel. Raspberries are killer for him there. Him and Gwen share a death spot and both torment each other with that knowledge.

Melt spots are his forearms and under his chin. Adorable to trace a few inches up from his pits and watch him dissolve. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t love some gentle tickles under his chin, can you? (answer: no)

Bright, bubbly, almost boyish giggles. Things get a lot pitchier when you really wreck him, squeaks and squeals coming in no short supply.

Ler:

Surprisingly formidable ler when the mood strikes him.

Most don’t suspect it to be that bad and give him full reign. They’re quickly proven wrong.

He respects boundaries of course, doesn’t ever go overboard. Takes breaks to check in and let his lee breathe every few minutes.

Loves to tease with compliments and praises. This is where he abuses his powers.

“Aww, your laugh is so cute! Who knew you’d be so ticklish?”

“That blush is just adorable, friend. You really have to show it more often!”

“I know, it really tickles here, huh? You’re doing great!”

If he’s feeling like a goober, he’ll play “Tickle Monster” and blow little raspberries on your belly. Might even make little “nom” noises while he does it to be a menace.

Loves giving tickle hugs. He’ll sneak up behind someone, koala-hug them and start wiggling his fingers into their sides. (Being short actually helps him there)

If one of his friends is upset or stressed, he’ll talk it out with them before suggesting a tickly cheer-up. If they don’t legitimately object, he’ll sweetly tease them until they’re all giggly and happy again.

SUPER sweet with aftercare. Cuddles, snacks, praises, and just general conversation. If you want to, he’d even be open to a nap.

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antigone-ks · 2 months

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MARVEL MASTERLIST

LANTERN OF EVIL (IN MY PANTS)

Summary:

“You’re in a good mood today,” Natasha commented, holding the phone steady as Tony and Sam devolved into a slap fight. “Haven’t seen you smile this much since, y’know.”

“This is quality entertainment,” Steve said. “You don’t get this every day.”

“No you do not.” She turned the phone toward Bucky, who whistled as he sprinkled sea salt over the meat. He looked up, winked directly at her, then tossed the rest of the seasoning like a long-haired Salt Bae.

“But you seemed pretty chipper when you snuck back in before the show started.”

***

Or, Steve gets de-serumed and falls in love over art, old movies, and taxi dances.

Rating: E for Explicity, Eventually

Tags: Steve Rogers/Reader; Plus Size Reader; Natasha Romanov (Marvel); Tony Stark; Sam Wilson (Marvel); James “Bucky” Barnes; background Bucky/Nat - Freeform; Skinny Steve Rogers; Pre-Serum Steve Rogers; Post-Serum Steve Rogers; De-Serumed Steve Rogers; all of the combinations of serums and Steves; Slow Burn; Awkward Flirting; Awkward reader; Awkward Steve Rogers; neither of these goobers know what they’re doing; shameless Letterkenny reference; False Identity; horrible misunderstandings; love in art galleries; love on bridges; love on front porches; will earn rating in later chapters; I hope; inappropriate use of a history degree; Short Reader; Profanity; Fluff; Angst; Fluff and Angst; Smut; Oral Sex; Vaginal Fingering; Making Out; definitely third base; not all-the-way parking but pretty close; Biting; Cunnilingus; Fellatio; Vaginal Sex; Steve wants to be clear that this isn’t fucking; Making Love

Chapter One: The Greens of June

Chapter Two: July Flame, Just Out of My Reach

Chapter Three: The First Night in August

Chapter Four: Under an August Moon

Chapter Five: The Autumn Days Swung Soft

Chapter Six: September, We Danced

Chapter Seven: In September, When the Leaves Come Falling Down

Chapter Eight: And the Leaves that Are Green Turn to Brown

Chapter Nine: When the Autumn Leaves Start to Fall

Chapter Ten: Autumn in New York Brings the Promise of New Love

Chapter Eleven: I'm Still in Love with You on this Harvest Moon

Chapter Twelve: November Skies; I See You Everywhere 🔥

Chapter Thirteen: Remember November

Epilogue: An Eternal Beacon of Light

NELL'OSCURITÀ, ROSETTA

Summary:

“It’s been weeks since we were near a city and the fellas need to relax. They’re going to if she’s willing, unless you tell them not to. Just figured you might want first crack.”

“Does she look willing to you?”

Bucky gazes at the woman, winks when she meets his eye. She doesn’t smile, but she doesn’t look away. “There’s willing and then there’s willing, Steve,” he says, and Steve is forcibly reminded that Bucky’s spent a lot more time here, a lot more time in a war zone, and he might be intimately familiar with all the things Steve’s barely imagined.

***

He's a soldier, just like all the rest, and a GI knows the value of a can of C-rations when he wants some attention.

**Heed the warnings & tags. This is not a romance.**

Rating: E for explicit and dark

Warnings: dubious consent

Tags: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s); Steve Rogers; James "Bucky" Barnes; Timothy "Dum Dum" Dugan; Gabe Jones; Jacques Dernier; basically all of the Howling Commandos/original female character; but everyone except Steve is offscreen; Dubious Consent; Extremely Dubious Consent; Sexual Coercion; Rape/Non-con Elements; non-con sex work; Period Typical Attitudes; period typical attitudes about sex; period typical attitudes about STIs; which is to say not entirely accurate or polite; sex in wartime; Virgin Steve Rogers; Angst

Read "Nell'oscurità, Rosetta" here

MAIN MASTERLIST

You can also find me on AO3!

#my fanfiction #my masterlists #steve rogers #steve rogers x plus size reader #steve rogers x original character

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cloudcountry · 1 year

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HI AUBURN!!!!!! dunno if we’re close enough moots for me to req this but could I mayhaps enter in Ashi for your 1.8k event?? 😳 (WHICH LIKE. GRATS BTW!!!! THATS CRAYCRAY POP OFF)

🤔 there’s this certain rewrite w her concerning Ghost Marriage so I was wondering if I could get a rewrite where

1.) when Ace barges in, he stops the marriage between her and Eliza instead of Idia and Eliza (and Ace gets EXTRA pissed)

2.) Ashi and Ace playing around w the ghost ring and a fake one

SOME CONTEXT ABOUT THIS EVENT REWRITE;

—Ashi cross dresses and shoots for Eliza right before the final group enters to try and woo her over (cuz she sees all the guys fail and she’s like “yyyeah. watch me pull this ghost lady better than y’all)

—she succeeds actually!!! she woos Eliza over w her W rizz and allows Idia to escape

—Her and Ace previously fool around w the ghost ring; causing a real and fake to get mixed up

—so guess what. she accidentally uses a fake ring instead of the one actually needed 😔 banishing no more

—NOW ASHI’S TRAPPED AND BOUND TO MARRY ELIZA!!!!!! (and Ace is left to blame)

ALSO JUST TO CLARIFY!!!!!! <333 I’d like it to be like....... besties but mutual pining yk 🙏 cuz they’re just besties so far at this stage (Ace is in denial)

NO SWEAT IF THIS IS TOO MUCH BTW!!!! I APPRECIATE IT NONETHELESS <3 gratsgrats again!!!

AAAAA dont worry ashi!!! your oc page is very detailed so i think i can write her right!! at least i hope so ^^" THANK YOU THANK OYU <3333 AAAAA!!!!!!!

thast literally so goofy i love ALL of this LMAO (mutual pining...rubbing my hands together evilly I GOTCHA!!!)

i read that thing about him calling you cherrypie and i think thats the cutest thing :(((( but he calls you goober here since that was on yuor oc page and i thought taht was funny LMAO

AND SINCE WE WERENT MOOTS WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS AROUND BUT IT WAS RECENT PLEASEE CONSIDER THIS A BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM ME TO YOU <3 i hope you had fun :D !!!

ASHI, ACE, AND THE MARRAIGE VOWS OF DOOM!!! (1.8k details)

Ashi isn’t sure how Ace acquired it (although it most likely came from a visit with Sam) but the grin on his face melts away her concern and leaves a giddy mischief in its place.

“Doesn’t it look just like that ring the Headmage wants to use to send that bride back to her realm?” Ace laughs, twirling it around the tip of his finger, “Can you imagine what would happen if someone were to switch out the rings?”

“Ace, c’mon!” Ashi shakes her head, giggling along with him.

His grin turns wicked, and before Ashi knows it he’s snatched the real ring right out of her pocket. She shrieks for him to give it back, hurling vicious insults such as “meanie” and “stupid,” but Ace doesn’t relent.

“Where is the real ring? I bet you’ll never guess.” he smirks, holding out his closed hands.

His eyebrows are doing that irritating thing he does when he’s feeling a bit too smug.

“You’re a cheater! I bet it’s in your pocket.” Ashi lunges for him, digging her hand into his pocket as Ace jerks away, trying to get her off.

Sure enough, she pulls out the ring with a triumphant “ah ha!” Ace rolls his eyes and makes a big show of huffing about it, but his eyes linger on her radiant smile as she sticks her tongue out at him.

“It’s not like you play fair either, you goober!” he cackles, jerking his arm out to snatch the ring from her hands.

As their hands collide, both rings go soaring through the air and clatter to the floor. Ashi and Ace look over in the direction they landed, only to come to the sinking revelation that neither of them knew which one was which.

“Can you tell which one’s the fake?” Ashi asks, tilting her head.

Ace removes himself from her to confidently saunter over to the rings, scooping them off the ground and flashing them with a smirk.

“Don’t worry goober, I got it. You almost messed things up there, huh? This is totally the fake one.” Ace mocks, flicking Ashi’s nose when he’s made his way back to her and places the real ring in her hand.

“Oh quiet you!” she pinches his cheek, face heating up at the teasing.

Ace rubs his pink cheek and glares, but the glare holds no malice.

Ashi watches in amusement as Idia is thrown to the side, totally blown off by Eliza. Ashi kneels before the bride, arms outstretched as if to accept her. Eliza squeals, rushing towards her “groom” with stars in her eyes. Ashi takes her hand, gently, and gives Eliza the most affectionate look she can.

“It’s an honor to be wed to you, my lady.” Ashi grins, a dazzling smile that makes Eliza swoon in her arms.

The ring slides onto her finger, and...

Nothing happens.

Ashi looks confused but quickly schools her face. Eliza doesn't notice the way her smile falls, and instead swoops Ashi up into her arms and calls for her attendants.

“Please, escort Mr. Tamadai to the dressing rooms! I await our wedding, my darling!” Eliza giggles behind her hand, waving Ashi goodbye.

Footsteps pound on the stone flooring outside the room and Ashi looks at the door with hope. The door flies open with a loud bang, causing all the ghosts to jump out of their nonexistent skin.

Heh.

“Stop the wedding!” Ace yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Eliza, “You! Bride lady! We gotta talk!”

Eliza scoffs, all warmth in her deposition gone as Ace storms up to her with fire in his eyes. Ashi tries to go to him, but the ghosts are keeping such a harsh grip on her arms that it’s starting to hurt.

“Ace!” she yells, and he whips his head around at the sound of her voice.

He turns back to the bride with a clenched jaw and a furrowed brow.

“Listen here, all of you! You can’t just force someone to marry you! Relationships don’t work like that! Ashi doesn’t want to marry you at all! Aren’t the rest of you ashamed? You’re just enabling your princess into feeling even lonelier as the years go on because you’re not letting her let go! You all sound like useless retainers to me!” Ace yells, “Let go of Ashi right now! I’m gonna get this ring on your finger and send you off once and for all!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! Mr. Tamadai was quite sweet in his courting! He even answered all my questions correctly! He's perfect!” Eliza insists, voice breaking as she speaks.

“Uh, news flash princess!” Ace snaps, “You shouldn’t be picking your prince based on a few questions. How about picking someone you can laugh and cry with? Someone you can share everything with?”

He looks over at Ashi and pauses.

“Someone that makes you feel like you can be something. Even if you know you’re a stupid troublemaker.” he says, voice softer for just a moment before he turns back to the princess, “Have your retainers taught you nothing? It’s embarrassing that I have to spell this out for you, seriously!”

Ashi squirms in the ghost's hold, her cheery smile fading into a frustrated grimace. The rare sight makes Ace’s breath hitch, and his anger only gets more intense.

“Don’t listen to him, princess!” Puffy yells, taking his place next to Eliza, “How dare you say such things! I would fight the world to make sure the princess is happy, you—!”

Ashi gnaws at her lower lip before slipping one of Ace’s stupid cards out of her pocket. Sliding it between her two fingers just like he taught her, she flicks it at Eliza.

The card reaches its mark.

The ghosts restraining her rush to their princess as she yelps out in pain and Ashi beams. It's funny how Ace’s tricks were useful in situations like this, even though all he ever used them for was to target Riddle.

“Princess!” she yells, running towards her, “Wait!”

Eliza shakes off her hovering attendants to gaze upon her groom, a sour pout on her face.

“Listening, I’m not actually a guy. I was dressing the part because my and my homies were trying to save Idia over there.” she points to the boy in question, watching as he shrivels up again at the attention, “But I think you should totally marry Puffy! He seems to really care about ya! And just like Acey said, you’re supposed to find someone you can laugh and cry with right? He was about to fight this whole room for you!”

Eliza stops as if considering what Ashi just said. Ace’s hand circles her wrist, as if ready to run and find cover if the ghosts actually do attack. His subtle concern warms her heart.

“Oh Puffy...I think I’ve finally figured it out.” Eliza turns to her ghostly companion and smiles, eyes full of love, “You’re my prince! My true love!”

“What?!” Ace squawks, but Ashi presses a finger to his lips to shush him.

“Princess...all I’ve ever wanted was to see you smile.” Puffy murmurs, cheeks turning blue, “It’s my dream...my lingering attachment...I just want you to be happy.”

“Oh, Puffy!” Eliza swoons, kissing him without a second thought.

“What just happened?” Ace blinks, absolutely baffled by the display in front of him.

“I dunno, but we should get everyone else out!” Ashi beams as the sound of groans and complaints reach their ears, “It sounds like the curse has been broken!”

As Ashi runs off to help a whining Floyd, Ace puffs up his cheeks and stares.

She looks really pretty in that suit.

#🌺! ashi #auburn's 1.8k event <3 #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #canon x oc #WOW i went overboard #the ashace influence #I HOPE I DID THEM JUSTICE ^^;#mmm i had fun writing ashi!! shes always seen with a smile on her face so i wanted there to be an “oh SHIT” moment when that smile falls #just for a second!!! just so ace can be like “how DARE you make my cherrypie stop smiling!!!” yk taht sort of thing #AND OMG ACE TOTALLY FLICKS CARDS AT RIDDLES HEAD #but yea umm i really hope you like it because im very nervous about how i characterized peoples ocs whaawhawhawha ^^

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house-of-slayterr · 2 years

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Zsasz Family Headcannons:

An: I’ve had a very long, but good day, so I don’t want to write full fics rn. But I can’t just not post today that’s lame lol. More Hannibal family to come soon, and I might start a new Lost Boys series, I haven’t decided yet.

Tag: @keffirinne @flaysthings @howl-fantasies

Victor:

Big old fucking softie!!! SOFTIE ALERT!!!

Like he’s not as hard as he thinks he is

Boy listens to disco, ain’t nobody truly evil ever listen to disco! That would just be anti black of them. And if there is one thing Victor Zsasz isn’t, it’s a racist.

You’re telling me, despite not being a hero, this goober wouldn’t cut off a racists hands to prove a point? 👀 I mean think about it!!! Like he’s not gonna go around saving people, but he’s also not just going to let it slide if he sees it

Now, after that complement, he deserves a diss as well. Mother fuckers favourite ice-cream flavour is chocolate! Which is never the right answer!

Victor is an excellent dancer. Carmine totally made him take ballroom lessons as a young boy. And when he’s not at work, he’s taking Y/N out dancing! But we all know what activity that ends in 👀

Victor may think he’s invincible but he’s really not. He doesn’t know when enough and enough, but he will listen to those closet to him. If Maggie or V or Y/N begged him to take a day off and rest, he’d reluctantly do it. Victor doesn’t like feeling useless, so he wouldn’t like not working.

This applies mentally as well. He’s insane sure, but even is insane folk need a mental health day or moment sometimes. I think Vic may be physically unable to cry, but that doesn’t mean the feelings that cause tears don’t get to him. He fronts it all with rage and jokes, but I think no matter how duly, he does feel other emotions. I mean fucker loves Y/N with everything he has, he’s got a heart, he just needs to be taught how to use it.

I do think he would loose it if someone in his “family” died, I mean even with Falcone Victor went a little more off the rails then usual. But as we discussed in a previous headcannon, Victor SNAPS if his Y/N, his amazing wife, the love of his life, his soulmate, dies. And I don’t actually know if anyone, even the others could bring him back from that. Before Y/N, the thought that he’d one day fine someone to actually love him how he is, was what kept him going. Once he found that, he’s not letting it go for anything.

Back to a little more lighthearted. Victor does own colours… they’re just in his second closet. He has a work closet, and a regular closet. I still think he likes to keep it dark, but I can see him adding white, and royal, dark colours like reds, greens or purples. Just a little pop to make him feel special. And match whatever his beautiful wife is wearing, which he thinks she looks best in red (I wonder why🤨)

I think he enjoys being pampered. Both he and Basil are confident in their masculinity and don’t really let feminine things stop them. I mean neither man is one to let other people tell him what to do in the first place. They don’t care what anyone thinks about them. But I can see him taking Y/N or his girls to get mani pedis. He’d not get any colours, but he’d get his nails cleaned up and do a clear coat, or maybe a very subtle glitter. I mean man loves disco, a disco ball on his nails is the way to go!

Y/N:

She also tries to hide her feelings like Victor. But believe it or not, she’s not as convincing as she thinks she is. Even Jim has been able to pick up on some of her minor tells.

Y/N is a control freak. She doesn’t like deviating from the plan, and takes things like being on time very seriously. The only time she ever breaks script is if she’s horny, or caught up in another emotion. I think she actually feels her emotions too intensely. Her impulse control is strong, but as a learned trait. But if she’s truly caught off guard by an emotion, she’ll give into whatever urge that spurs up in here. Sad, run away. Happy, be vocal about it. Angry, kill. Horny, fuck her husband until he forgets any name other than hers.

This is why I think she was so quick to adopt that motherly role. She never wanted to be a mom, it wasn’t something she planned. But I’m the cases of Basil and Maggie, she was overrun by an emotion. Maggie was curiosity, and Basil was greed. Even with little V it was pity when taking on the role of step mother.

Y/N, unlike her husband, is not afraid to take time off. In fact sometimes she does it just to see if Oswald will get upset. She still likes to know her schedule, but when she’s in charge of the change in plans, she’s less worried about it. Wether it’s time off just because she wants to, needs a mental health day, is too injured to work and needs time to heal, or one of her “kitty’s” needs mamas help. She will gladly take that time. (Selena and Brucie are included in her kitten litter, but obviously Maggie and Basil come first)

She cares a lot about appearance, and in tern her families appearance. She totally plans family spa days to make sure everyone is looking their best at all times. But hey, she doesn’t hear anyone complaining. She totally feels like a school field trip aid, trying to wrangle all her ducklings. He husband included, he usually needs the most wrangling.

Y/N may or may not have a teeny eeney addiction problem. She’s turned to drugs and alcohol I’m the past. Because miss girl does not know how to talk about her feelings, at least not before Maggie comes along. And she’s not that great of an influence about it at first either. She pressured Maggie into joining her for drinks and drugs before. But she probably took a long hard look in the mirror after that and realised that she shouldn’t drag people into her problem. I feel like despite still struggling with it, and not really in the headset to give it up yet, she’d probably flip if any of them started to turn out like her. Like a few drinks here and there are fun, but there probably an unspoken “no hard drugs allowed by anyone in this house or your loosing your hand privileges” rule. If she need a loophole around this (if she gave into the cravings to curve her pain) she proably say something dumb like “well I didn’t bring it into the house” she knows it doesn’t comfort anyone but it makes her feel better.

She’s never gonna be a hero, her and Victor like their lives as villains. Having the title of Gotham’s most feared couple. But especially if she grows closer to Bruce, she does genuinely want a better Gotham for her children. She doesn’t want anyone to have to go through all that she’s gone through. She pretends nothing can traumatise her anymore, but those first scars in her mind burn the brightest. She grows more cautious and carful with age, not haphazardly throwing herself into danger anymore. She has proper plans in place if anything were to happen to her or Victor, she just doesn’t tell anyone about it. Can’t have them thinking she’s going soft or anything. And she does try to be a good example for her children in her own way. Sure, teaching your child the proper way to stab and disarm someone isn’t a traditional thing for a parent to pass down, but it’s practical. She’s teaching them how to survive, and hopefully thrive here in Gotham. It would kill her to see one of her little birdies shot down before her. Again, she doesn’t vocalise it though. Jim might not agree with everything she does, but she’s not a monster. She always does the “right thing”, but her version of right might just be a little different. But whatever she does, she does it with certainty and conviction. Her hearts in the right place, she just had things twisted for her from a young age.

Now while she might not vocalise her love for her family very often. She is a PROUD mama bear. Let me tell you. If any goon in Gotham is dumb enough to go after one of her kids… she will make it very known how much of a mistake that is. EVERYONE in Gotham knows very well that you don’t mess with Mama’s kids. But some of them are dumb enough to do it anyways. I could imagine when Jeremiah first joins the side of the villains, and goes after Bruce or V, she’ll give him a warning first. “You see that,” points to them “that right there is one of mine. And next time you put your grubby little hands on one of them, I will cut them off and shove them up your ass!” She doesn’t need to tell them she loves them, it more than shows in her actions.

She enjoys her dumb little domestic moments, just as much as she enjoys killing. Surprisingly, even though she doesn’t think so, she’s in her element in both.

Maggie:

I don’t think Maggie knows how to put herself first lol. Even in the beginning with Oswald, she compromised what she wanted for what she could have instead. Having Oswald as a friend was more important than her original plan. She’s willing to change her life at the drop of a hat, if it means making someone else happy. And when she does put herself first, she feels selfish and panics.

When Maggie loves, she loves intensely and she falls hard. And that’s in any kind of relationship, friends, family, lovers, even one night stands are full of passion with her. I don’t think she knows how to do anything casually. She wears her heart on her sleeve and sometimes it gets her hurt. But I think she falls in love more so with the idea of a person, instead of the person themselves. She ignores so many red flags because of this, because she craves the attention and the warmth love gives her.

I haven’t mentioned it in a while, but Maggie does have her Bachelors in Botany. She is a professional at her job. Her little flower shop adventures aren’t just a means to an end job. She truly enjoys it and feels at home when surrounded by plants. I think she really likes nature in general. She really loves animals but I don’t think she would ever take a pet for herself. She thinks it’s best to admire from afar.

Maggie fully encourages V’s education. She’s the one that drops the girl off at school everyday, and picks her up from Bruce’s house at the end of her shift. Maggie is the one Victor would give custody’s too if anything happened to him, cause he knows V will be in good hands. I can see her staying up late and helping V with homework.

I think Maggie seeks great comfort in her family. She probably ‘borrows’ an item from of them because it smells like them. Like stealing Basil’s hoodies, Y/N’s dresses, V’s beanie or Victor’s knife holster. Sometimes she wishes she had something of Jim’s, but she’s not creepy like Vic and wouldn’t take something without him knowing.

My girl is gay and she has it fucking bad. Of course, she doesn’t really know that’s what it is at first. She never expected her first ever crush to be on Selena Kyle. And Maggie is the one she’d go to to talk about it. Y/N and her dad aren’t going to be sensitive about it, and she’s a sensitive girl. Maggie helped her understand what she was feeling, and couched her on what to do next.

V is also really fucking smart. Like she’s constantly reading something new. Despite never having gone to a proper school, she was able to teach herself most things. Growing up on the streets of Gotham, you had to be smart. Anything less as an immediate death sentence. She probably used to break into the library and borrow their computers to learn more.

She doesn’t talk much unless provoked. She grew used to be all on her own, so it’s strange for her to grow used to this new full family. She never even expected her dad to except her, and now she had more family then she knew what to do with. But that’s not a bad thing, she can just be a little sheltered is all. Beside, what teen wants to talk about their feelings?

V sees violence for what it is. Violence born out of necessity and survival doesn’t bother her. But she’s not as crazy as her father. She tries to minimise the damage she does unless she’s deemed someone as “unsavable” in which case she won’t hesitate. Sure, maybe it’s playing god, but she’s got time to mellow out.

She’s also not immune to emotions, like at all. Poor girl is a raging hormonal mess. She lashes out, and screams until her lungs are dry. Normal teenage shit. Except normal I’m Gotham is normal everywhere else. She doesn’t feel guilt for killing out of survival, but she may express regret for killing out of anger. She doesn’t like being angry, or the things it makes her do.

She dreams of one day getting out of Gotham. Experiencing somewhere new, somewhere brighter. It’s what drives her everyday, knowing she’s working toward a better future for herself. She’ll weasel her way into Bruce’s private school so she can receive the best possible education. And by “weasels” I mean Y/N and Victor having a little “chat” with the principal. Victor thought her want to go to school was stupid, but Y/N supported it fully.

Basil:

Aromantic/Asexual, why, because I said so and we need more representation. I mean yes, there was love and reproduction on his planet, but even back then, he didn’t really understand it. Out of all of them, Basil is the one that genuinely does not feel him emotions. His are probably the most stunted. There’s not really a facade for him to drop, he doesn’t pretend to be anyone unless the mission directly calls for it.

I mean why would a perfectly stable (at least from an outside view) fine young gentlemen, give up his perfectly fine life in National City with his family, to go love with a Villain from Gotham? Of course, no one from National City knows that Y/N is like one of the top villains. But what they don’t know won’t hurt them. He grew sick of pretending back home with his sister, and while of course he would come running if his sisters life was in risk, he has no intentions of ever calling that place his home. Kara fit in, he didn’t. She loved it there, he didn’t. The choice was simplex

Perhaps that’s why he took to Maggie so fast. Replace one older sister with another. And Maggie was much more “down to earth” both literally and figuratively. Kara was naive and lived with her head in the clouds, Maggie has a little more reality ground into her. But some parts of her remind him of his sister, like her almost always cheerful persona, her willingness to help, and the way she’s the only one who can make him feel like a person. Maggie makes him feel human, which at first scared him, but the longer he spent around her, the slightly less disdain he had for their kind. Maggie makes him see the good in humanity; but it a way that was less Disney Princess than Kara. Maggie’s optimism was palatable and contagious.

His relationship with Y/N isn’t the healthiest one. It borders on almost Stock Holm syndrome at first. He blindly fallows orders and would do anything without question. He respects her greatly; as she was the first person to make him feel something other than boredom for the first time in his life. She made life exciting and he craved that little bit of adrenaline he was capable of experiencing. Y/N is sort of like an addiction. But it mellows out as he grows more in touch with his emotions, and their relationship becomes a little less formal.

I’ve stated it before, but Basil doesn’t really get along that well with Vic. He’s indifferent to most people, but he actually dislikes Victor and Jim. Why you might ask? Because they’re going after his girls. Yes HIS girls, that is how he sees them. It’s not jealousy though, there’s nothing to be jealous of. He simply doesn’t think they’re good enough. Victor is unpredictable, brash and reactive, often times getting Y/N hurt either emotionally or physically. Basil also thinks Victor to be stupid (which he is not, Victor just doesn’t really share his knowledge with anyone. He liked being seen as the goofy assassin) Basil once tried to kill Victor when Y/N got seriously hurt (of course Victor wasn’t taking it lightly either, he was probably pissed at himself already) and only Y/N herself was able to stop him. Since then he can be Civil for her sake, but he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Victor the second something he did for her killed.

Basil is also capable of being Civil with Jim. I mean he was able to convince Oliver Queen that he was a friend, how hard would it be to feign an acquaintanceship with the cop? But unlike with Victor where he’s more likely to give the man the silent treatment, he is vocal when Jim does something he doesn’t approve of. Y/N is grown, she can protect herself, but despite Maggie being almost three years older than him, he most definitely views her like a child. And he’s seen first hand how fragile she is. He doesn’t appreciate the Detective playing with Maggie’s emotions. Y/N probably had to remind him sometimes that Maggie is infact a big girl and can handle herself. But even she babies the girl sometimes, so who is she to judge. Maggie’s fiercely overprotective of the two of them.

Now when V comes along… oh dear god. My boy is a MESS. That’s a child! That’s a literal CHILD!!!! His own little sister 🥺. If Maggie thought he was overbearing with her, Lord did she underestimate him. He is fucking putty in V’s hands. Anything the girl wants, she gets. He can’t say no to her. I mean do you blame him? She bats her eyes and his brain just shuts off. He doesn’t like touch much, but Maggie and V are the only two he seeks that sort of comfort with. Yeah, Y/N is allowed to touch him, but that’s not really the nature of their relationship. Maggie almost always initiates touch with him. But with V, he just picks her up all the time. He keeps her close whenever he can cause he likes having her around.

Basil cares as little about Oliver’s team as he does about his sisters team in the DEO. He’ll come if they really need him, but his top priority is protecting immediate family. Sure would Maggie be devastated if he let Oliver or Thea die? Of course, but that didn’t matter, because she would be safe, and he could be there to console her. He tries not to have to visit National city or Star City much because faking all the time got tiring.

I don’t think this man has ever actually smiled in his entire life. Yeah he can be a cocky shit, and besides a frown, a smirk is the only other thing that’s graces his face. But he doesn’t smile. Now that doesn’t mean he’s not happy; he just doesn’t know hot to convey that. But his happiness is reserved for family, and they’re able to read him just fine.

Uncle Harvey:

Totally doesn’t accidentally blame himself for Y/N addiction problem. He was supposed to be the one “good” constant in her life. He arrested the girl enough times, that she began to jokingly refer to him as “Uncle Harvey” and that’s sort of how their relationship went. He was willing to turn the other way on somethings as long as she never took things too far. The couple of times she’d shown up at his apartment and needed a place to stay, sure he was always nice to her, but there were always empty bottles around. I’m pretty sure it’s cannon in show he has an alcohol problem. Harvey wasn’t a saint, but he at least tried to help Gotham.

I high key get Dad vibes from him. I think Harvey originally wanted children, but something went wrong for him. The way he looked at Scottie in that one episode, I could just tell he wanted to start a family with her. And he grew Bitter and pessimistic after things fell apart and he fell more into his bad habits. Probably convincing himself he didn’t deserve that family he had in his head anymore. So when Maggie came around and actually wanted to spend time with him, he was annoyed at first. But it grew on him. And he saw the same thing in Jim when he looked at Bruce and Selena. He’s got his own little unconventional family now. Jim, his partner in crime, Y/N, Maggie and Bruce. He doesn’t really interact with V or Basil much, and he avoid Victor at all costs! Selena isn’t much of a fan of his either. But he already has his hands full.

Harvey shows up when things are important. Maggie’s goes back to school and is graduating? He’ll be there. Y/N is having a mental breakdown and has no one else to turn to, he’s all ears. Bruce throws one of his Gala’s Harvey is always on time. He’s supportive when they’re doing well, and a little more lenient than Jim when they fuck up. A few slaps on the wrist never hurt anybody right? Harvey wasn’t perfect, why should he expect them to be? He’s been in Gotham longer than the Young Detective and doesn’t have his same blind optimism. He understands there can never be no crime in Gotham City, that’s simply not how things work.

An: yea I included Harvey, I love him and I don’t include him enough in stuff. So deal with it 😈

#Gotham #Gotham family #Gotham oc #gotham villains #y/n zsasz #victor zsasz #V Zsasz #basil zor el #kryptonian #supergirl oc #magnolia blossom #Maggie #magnolia #harvey bullock

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the-iceni-bitch · 2 years

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I have many thoughts and questions. First, how are Jake and his Khaleesi? Has he stopped being so awkward around her now that they’re dating? Are they going to Petunias’ games together? Are the other parents surprised to see her with Jake? Second, how is wedding planning going for DILF Steve and tattoo artist reader? Are they going to invite Sharon to the wedding or no? Is Bucky finally going to bang Thor? Does Becca ever find out that Bucky was busy trying to bang Thor and that’s why he almost missed the birth? Third, I wanted to know all about Ninja and Ari’s relationship. Because I bet they were super hot together. What if Jake/Ransom met Ninja/Ari when they were still together? Would they ever enter into a four person relationship? Fourth, I’m obsessed with Lloyd and his girl. Do she and Nick’s girl go on sprees, shopping or crime, together? How does Cherry get along with all the others? Does anyone okay-ish with Steve and Cookie? Or are they all kinda skeeved out by the two of them? Do Cherry and Siren get along because they’re both kinda outsiders? Does coquinette tease any of Lloyd’s underlings? Is she constantly getting Lance in trouble?

I love you and hang in there! We believe in you! 😘😘😘😘😘

I love everything about this ask!! It made me so happy!!

Jake and Khaleesi are doing fantastic! He will never stop being awkward around her, he’s a goober. Every time he asks her about trying out a new kink (especially when he wanted to try pet play) he turns all kinds of pink. They are the loudest at all the Petunia’s games, and Jake has had to keep her from fighting some bitchy suburban housewives who’s brats are dirty players.

Wedding is going great (it happened on Valentine’s Day I just haven’t gotten around to tying everything up because of pressure). Sharon is not invited, she wasn’t in the country anyway. Everyone knows exactly why Bucky almost missed the birth and they will never stop giving him shit about it. But, he finally gets to have his mind (and other things) completely blown by the blonde god at the reception.

Ninja and Ari were so fucking hot, you have no idea. He woke up so many of her kinks, and just ruined her regularly. And he was unbelievably protective of her and nurturing and really was the best person to help her get over the mess that Steve was. If they had met Ran and Jake when the couples were with their old pairings, they would not have ended up doing the polyamory thing. Jake was too shy and Ran was still mostly in the closet. They need the partners they ended up with to make them their best selves.

Coquinette and hellcat go on all types of sprees together, they are besties and love stirring up trouble. Their favorite thing to do is for hellcat to get some rich asshole to flirt with her then immediately start slapping him around and berating him while coquinette steals all his shit. Cherry gets along with kitten the best but also has a good relationship with coquinette since they both enjoy fine art and shiny things. She also gets along really well with Siren because neither of them are in the main crime group so Siren feels a lot more comfortable with her. Coquinette doesn’t tease too many of the underlings, she always says hi to Curtis when she sees him but otherwise mostly ignores them. Doesn’t stop Lance from getting in trouble for gawking, though.

Ask me anything about my AUs and Series!

#natalie answers #no love like your love au #poison paradise #jake and khaleesi #goddamn prince charming looking dilf #ninja and puppy #bear and cubby #le grand homme and coquinette #asks are always open

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crybabyddl · 4 years

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I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

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queerquintessence · 4 years

Text

heyo

so i recently have been obsessed with the idea of the voltron paladins living in the same house together sooo

i may or may not have spent the last like 3 hours working on headcannons

the characters in the house are keith, lance, hunk, pidge, and allura

(since they’re all relatively similar in age)

so sadly no shiro or coran but

anyway

yeah here they are

(once again a bit unorganized but it’s whatev)

• first off allura and lance are both housewifes

• and neither of them take any shit from the others

• allura: keith, could you pick your feet up? i’m trying to vacuum down here

• keith, sitting on the couch: couldn’t you just do it later

• allura:

• allura: move your feet or i’m telling lonce you have a crush on him

• hunk does the dishes most of the time because he’s mainly the one who cooks their food

• but they also alternate on a schedule

• lance, sighing dramatically: i do everything around here! keith, when was the last time you washed the dishes?

• keith: i literally washed them last night

• lance: well you missed a plate so it doesn’t count

• keith takes out the trash a lot except he doesn’t wear shoes so his feet are always dirty

• lance yells at him for it

• whenever lance takes out the trash he puts on whoever’s shoes are closest

• pidge: lance are those my shoes?

• lance, tiptoeing in sneakers that are 3 sizes too small: maybe

• the couch that they own is too small to fit everyone

• they either argue for 10 minutes over who gets to sit where or they just pile on top of each other

• pidge usually lays on top of someone’s lap when it gets crowded

• she can just flop on top of someone and they’ll just let her- no words spoken

• keith sits on the armrests and everyone gives him shit for it

• lance: aren’t you uncomfortable?

• keith: i like sitting here

• lance: alright edgelord

• lance lays with his legs sprawled on top of the couch

• sometimes pidge will lay on lance who will have his legs on keith

• hunk is fine with sitting on the floor but even he’ll start arguing over the good spot on the couch

• hunk: lance, buddy, you sat there last time- why not give someone else a turn?

• lance: hunk when was the last time you did your own laundry? huh. that’s what i thought

• dinners pretty chaotic

• that’s usually when they have their debates

• lance, pounding his fist on the table: mac and cheese is to be eaten with a fork and that’s that

• pidge: why the hell would you use a fork? spoons are just fine in my opinion

• keith, silently munching on his food knowing he eats it with a knife:

• pidge: alright, we need to acknowledge the elephant in the room

• everyone:

• pidge:

• pidge: keith, you gotta stop putting corn syrup on your peanut butter sandwiches it’s fucking weird

• allura: everyone in favor of limiting lance’s shakira privileges say I

• keith, pidge, and hunk: I

• lance, who’s totally offended: wh

• luckily, they all have their own rooms

• except the walls are super thin

• lance scream singing beyoncé: GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW YOUR LOVES GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW

• keith: why has god forsaken me

• even when they try to play music relatively quiet it can still faintly be heard

• muffled music from keith’s room: when i was, a young boy

• pidge: HA fucking EMO

• they all have Alexa’s in their rooms

• and pidge has access to all of them on her laptop

• pidge: psst- hey lance, watch this

• pidge: *fast typing on laptop*

• blasting from keith’s room: COUNTRYYY ROAAADS TAKE ME HOOOOME

• muffled keith screaming: pIDGE I SWEAR TO GOD

• in the morning during breakfast

• allura: why has lonce not come out of his room yet?

• pidge: hang on, i’ll wake him up

• lance’s alexa in the distance: I’M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH YOU’RE A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH

• lance’s startled scream is then followed by a loud thud

• once a week they have a movie night

• keith: lance i am not watching a cheesy romcom for the 2nd week in a row

• lance: i have to listen to ‘welcome to the black parade’ eighteen times a day sit the fuck down

• keith, crossed arm for the duration of movie night: this love story is completely unrealistic

• everybody shushes him on cue

• they also have monthly sleepovers in the living room where they giggle like middle schoolers

• keith knocks over an entire bowl of popcorn

• allura discovers the concept of a pillow fight and effortlessly knocks everybody to the ground

• lance flops on the air mattress and launches pidge across the room

• while everyone is trying to sleep

• lance: guys guys i’m gonna say something

• lance:

• lance: mayonnaise

• everybody loses their shit laughing because it’s 2 in the morning and they’re sleep deprived

• the bathroom sink is a mess

• their toothbrushes are color coordinated

• since they have to fit so much shit on the sink they have specific spots where they put their stuff

• pidge: hunk, your toothbrush is in my spot

• hunk: what? no- this corner of the sink is mine

• the debate results in all of them crowded in the bathroom arguing for 10 minutes

• keith: i don’t even remember having a designated spot on the sink

• allura: we need a toothbrush holder

• sometimes they do their nightly routines together

• which is also chaotic

• lance is applying a face mask, which drips onto pidge’s arm

• pidge then jerks her arm away- hitting keith’s toothbrush

• it then catapults off the counter and sticks to the wall

• keith: i left the room for one second what the hell did you do

• i’ve seen this headcannon somewhere before and i love it so i’m elaborating

• whenever keith is tired he’s giddy and hyper and loopy

• keith after not having a good nights sleep for 3 weeks, getting a running start and flipping onto the couch: a woop

• pidge: what in fucks name are you doing

• lance is the same exact way when he’s tired so they act like complete and utter idiots

• keith: lance, hey lance guess what

• lance: what

• keith:

• lance:

• they both burst out laughing

• lance: keith, omg you know what- keith rhymes with teeth

• keith:

• keith: holy shit

• eventually they both burn out and are just exhausted

• lance with his face planted in the carpet: uuuggghghggg

• allura: you finally done?

• lance: *angry muffled grumbling*

• pidge tends to fall asleep anywhere in the house

• usually with her computer on her lap or nearby

• she’s usually discovered the next morning

• hunk walking into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing his eyes: kinda want some orange juice

• pidge is just asleep on top of the fridge

• everyone else eating breakfast at the table

• keith: has anyone seen pidge?

• soft snoring is heard from under the table

• keith: ah

• they just put up with each other’s bullshit all day everyday and i love it

• lance, slamming his bedroom door open: everyone in my room i had a nightmare and need affection

• everyone emerges from their rooms grumbling and all file into lance room with their pillows and stuffed animals

• pidge trying to keep the remote away from lance: go long, hunk!

• keith appearing in the doorway and getting hit straight in the forehead with a remote: fUCK

• lance: are those my socks?

• keith: huh? oh, i dunno they were in my laundry pile

• lance: no those are totally my socks give them back right now

• when they all moved in together it was before keith and lance started dating so obviously there was shipping

• pidge, bursting into hunk’s room: i have klance tea

• hunk: spill

• lance: wh- keith and i are NOT dating

• pidge: you guys literally live together!

• lance: WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER

• allura, to hunk during dinner: i don’t know about you, but it seems to me like keith has a thing for lance

• keith: princess you’re not even whispering we can all hear you

• keith and lance secretly holding hands under the dinner table while lance is telling a story

• lance, being dramatic and expressive, lifts his hands in the air to accidentally reveal that his hand is intertwined with keith’s and its immediate chaos

• keith letting go immediately: wH HUH HOW DID THAT GET THERE

• pidge: I FUCKING TOLD YOU

anywayyy that’s all

i literally love this so much so don’t be surprised if i come up with some more later

yeah

bye

#lmao whoops i was so tired when i posted this i forgot to tag it #in my defense #it was 1:30 am #vld #voltron #vld headcanons #queerquintessence hcs #klance #kl #voltron funny #voltron legendary defender

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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years

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You are seriously amazing for meticulously compiling lists of fic recs around themes ppl request. I'd been going through a nervous phase these past months looking for cherik stories and worrying I'll reach the point of having read all of them when I found your lists and their delicious, delicious contents. Thank you!! If you have time, would you be able to compile a list of soccer/professional sports themed cherik au's? I'm a goober for Charles playing soccer. Thank you again

Thank you for your kind words anon, they are much appreciated. I understand what you mean when it comes to looking for new fics. I went through this phase myself a while ago but there are so many excellent fics in this fandom and even though I've read so many of them there are still tons I haven't read (you should see my to-read list, it's looong). Anyway, I'm so glad that my lists are helping you find some new reading material. I tried to find all the football/soccer AUs out there, but I also added some fics which involve other professional sports. I hope you enjoy!

Cherik Football/Soccer AU

Football/Professional Sports Cherik AU

Football/Soccer

Gold Glory – ikeracity

Summary: Erik is a swimmer for Germany. Charles is the goalkeeper for Team USA's Olympic soccer team (or football, as Charles insists that they call it). They first meet in Beijing in 2008, and what starts in China carries on into 2012, to London. Sometimes it's hard to know what they're really there for: the medals or each other.

Olympics AU.

Interlude – ikeracity

Summary: After clinching the FA Cup with Arsenal, Charles and Erik take a day to themselves to rest and enjoy each other's company before they have to report to their respective training camps for the World Cup.

Golazo – ikeracity

Summary: The surprise isn't that Rest of the World beats England handily in Soccer Aid 2014. The surprise comes after.

Tumblr Ficlets – ikeracity

Note: Check chapters 26, 31, 38,39,40, 77 for some soccer/football au

From the Start – treasuredleisure

Summary: They were once childhood friends who bonded over their love of the same sport.

Years later they reunite, but as competitors.

And Erik's still harbouring feelings for his old friend that he's certain he can no longer hide.

Smile (for the cameras) – espressohno

Summary: “Charles. What are you doing.”

“I have some words to say to Erik Lehnsherr.” Charles gasped, tipping the rest of the glass into his mouth. He had to take a minute for his throat to recover. “And I’m not going to say them sober.”

really, really stupid cherik football au where charles and erik talk shit about each other in interviews and then actually meet one another and find that they don't hate each other. they really don't

Scored on My Heart – GoddessOfDestruction

Summary: A Cherik Football!AU in which both Erik and Charles are football (soccer) players and Erik is on the verge of making history with the Polish National team by winning the Euro Cup. (Cherik one-shot that features Wanda, Peter, Lorna and Nina as Erik's kids).

It’s Just a Summer Thing – g33kyclassic

Summary: Erik, new to America and not fitting in at all, gets the opportunity of a lifetime: an invitation to an elite summer soccer camp. Erik is hoping to improve as a player, his mother is hoping he'll make friends. Over the years he does both, and maybe, just maybe, he finds something more than a friend.

High and Dangerous – thefourofswords

Summary: Erik's always dreamed of playing football for Bayern, but it's Arsenal who comes calling. A soccer AU.

Professional Sports

For the Roses – Nusicaa (ignusphoenics)

Summary: After an accident left him paralyzed below the waist, former elite track star Charles Xavier needs a new hobby. His longtime rival, the German runner Erik Lehnsherr, might just be that hobby.

Nailed it – MonstrousRegiment

Summary: “Hello, Erik. I’m Charles,” the skater answers, and then he leans in close, his voice dropping down to a murmur, “and I just nailed my triple so I’d very much like it if you’d nail me.”

Dancing on the Blades, You set my Heart on Fire – a1_kitkat

Summary: Erik Lensherr was a World Champion Figure Skater until an accident kept him off the ice, leaving a path for Charles Xavier to take his crown. After a viral video gives Erik the kick he needs to start competing again, he finds himself in direct competition with Charles but the two have been following each other's careers for a long time and have been secretly crushing on the other.

A chance meeting leads them down a path neither intended to travel. Will they come together or will the pressure of the competition drive them further apart?

Only a few million watching – traumschwinge

Summary: On the day of the second last race of the year, biathlete Erik Lehnsherr stands to win more than just a World Cup race.

#cherik fic recs #cherik #fic recs #asks #earnestly answers #football au #sports au

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comradelup · 4 years

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Blupjeans and 8? :0

:0!! this kinda got a little away from me, but i don’t completely hate it! it’s shipswap au blupjeans though, aka lup is a reclaimer and barry is the spouse in the astral plane

<><><>

The Astral Plane is hauntingly gorgeous. The specific island Lup is standing on is big and round, surrounded on all sides by rainbow water and glowing lights. But she doesn’t care about any of it.

Because Barry is here. On the beach, playing piano as naturally as he draws breath. Or… drew breath. He’s dead, but now Lup is too. It’s been years— centuries— but now she’s on the same plane as him.

Her grip on Taako’s hand tightens and he squeezes back before letting go. He’s uncharacteristically solemn as he says, “Take your time.”

Lup nods, unable to take her eyes off of Barry, and she hears Taako portal out.

She starts walking before she really knows what she’s doing. Across the grey sand before she’s standing behind him, his back to her. He’s still wearing that shirt she always loved because it’s so soft. She’s still wearing his wedding ring on a chain around her neck.

“Hi,” she says. It definitely isn’t the most eloquent or appropriate thing to say, but she can’t think of anything else.

The melodies of the piano stop immediately. Barry is shocked into stillness for a moment before he turns and makes eye contact with her. Gods, she missed those eyes.

He nearly kicks over the bench he’s sitting on as he shoots into a hug. Lup holds him as tight as she can and revels in the feeling of his arms around her again. She buries her head in his shoulder and breathes him in.

“Oh gods, you’re here,” Barry’s saying, “W-we’re together again.”

“I missed you so much,” Lup says, tearing up. “I thought about you every single day, I wouldn’t let anyone forget you.”

“I missed you too. So much. Gods, let me…” He trails off, backing up just enough to see Lup’s face. He smiles, eyes wet, and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re still so b-beautiful.”

“I could say the same for you, handsome.” He doesn’t have any loose hair, but her hands trace his face all the same. The curve of his cheek, the little bit of stubble, the crinkles around his eyes, it’s all exactly how she remembers.

“I love you so much,” he says. She wipes away the tear that falls down his face.

“I love you too,” she says, “And I mean it: I told everyone about you. I— Gods you don’t even know half the story. My friends and I, we’re—”

“Space explorers? Apocalypse fighters?” Barry asks.

“Wh— how’d you know?”

“I heard the story,” he says, “It even reached here.”

Lup is still for a moment, then she laughs. Barry laughs too, pulling her impossibly closer and she can feel the rumble in his chest.

“I guess you do know half the story, then,” she says, head on his shoulder. Her arms are wrapped around his neck and his arms are looped around her waist.

“Only half of it?” Barry is slowly swaying back and forth, and Lup could be rocked to sleep standing up.

“Yeah. I’ll tell you all about it. But later…” She readjusts her grip and breathes in the smell of him again. It’d be creepy if Barry wasn’t doing it too. Weird how many of the little things you miss after you lose someone.

Barry hums in response, just holding her. That’s all she needs, really. She only got through her time as a reclaimer and the fight against the apocalypse because she knew she’d see him at the end of it all.

“I wish this moment could last forever…”

“Who says it can’t?” Barry says, and Lup backs up at that. Only enough to see his face, but still.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, this whole time I was here I convinced The Grim Reaper herself to let me stay and w-wait for you.”

“You know Julia?”

“You… you know her too?”

“I told you there was another half to the story, babe.”

“Oh. Well, uh, I was thinking, I b-bet she could let us stay longer, if we asked. I mean, you’re— you did all of that and saved countless worlds, you could probably call in a favor.”

Lup chuckles. “I like the way you think, babe. But I’ll ask about all that later. Right now I just wanna… I dunno, I’ve missed being around you.”

Barry hums. Seems like he has too. Lup can’t stop herself from standing on her toes to close the distance between the two of them. They both immediately melt into the kiss, Lup shifting her hands to cradle Barry’s face. It’s been too long.

The kiss lasts longer than normal, because neither of them need to breathe anymore. But it ends eventually and Lup could come back to life just by seeing the look on Barry’s face.

Then she remembers something. “Oh! Almost forgot, hold on.” She reaches behind her head, undoing the clasp of her necklace. She takes it off and holds one end up so the ring on the chain falls off and into the palm of her hand.

“Is that…?”

Lup nods. “I went through hell to get it. I didn’t want to lose it. I, uh, I had already lost enough, you know?”

Barry looks sad at the fact, at Lup bringing up the elephant in the afterlife. Lup just lifts up his hand and slides the ring onto his finger, over the tan line.

“This reminds me of our wedding,” he mumbles.

“Yeah, Taako— my brother— he got so mad he missed it. He really wants to meet you, but didn’t want to until I could see you again.”

“Right, I heard about him in the story. Gods, you have a b-brother. I wanna meet him, I saw how important he is to you.”

“So are you,” Lup says, “I swear, you’d fit right in with all those goobers, they’d love you.” Sheepishly, she adds, “They kind of already do, I told them so much about you they might as well know you.”

Barry smiles. “You said he’s w-w-waiting to meet me? So he’s still alive?”

“Oh. No he’s a reaper too. There’s not just one, there’s tons. Taako and Kravitz work with Julia, they’re a team.”

Barry looks appropriately baffled. “You w-were right, I don’t know half the story.” Lup laughs, and Barry says, “Tell me the whole thing, from the b-beginning.”

#taz #taz balance #taz fic #the adventure zone #blupjeans #balance #lup #barry #txt #writing #prompt #sgrumby #ty for the request!! <3 #shipswap #i Gotta write red robes!taakitz now. to complete the trifecta of the au

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samirant · 4 years

Text

Yuletide Reveal!

One of the great experiences to come out of 2020 was that I braved joining not one, not two, but three fic exchanges. And only two were for Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth!

In Yuletide I was given an excuse to write a story for the Never Have I Ever fandom, a Netflix series I found funny, sweet, cringey, frustrating and altogether charming. Mindy Kaling being at the helm got my attention, but the silliness and heart of the show itself was why I kept reccing it to my friends.

NHIE, as I try to describe to fellow adults, is a teenage show told from the perspective of adults looking back, slapping their foreheads and going whyyyyyy, why was I such a moron and how did I not know I was? It hurts, y’all.

John McEnroe, of all people, narrates for the protagonist, the first generation Indian-American Devi Vishwakumar. She is brash and funny and clever and rude and so fucking self-absorbed, but you really want her to be okay. She’s grieving over a huge loss from the beginning scenes and perhaps that is what made me so attached to her but man, oh man, does she do some stuff that makes me just want to shake some sense into her.

Then there is Ben Gross. Devi’s scholastic nemesis, the one who goes toe to toe with her on countless occasions, both of them equally horrible to one another. Ben gets one episode where his own unexpected narrator takes the reins and it is the most. Perfect. Casting. Ever.

So Devi and Ben are constantly at odds. Neither of them is an innocent victim, but they’re also just teens, with bad ideas that seem good at the time, home lives that could stand with improvement and more in common than they are willing to admit.

Of course I ship them. Wouldn’t you?

And, in writing about a prickly, proud young man who has everything except the understanding of those around him, if I happened to write a story from his perspective and just happened to once or twice type Jaime instead of Ben, could you really blame me?

That’s not to say Ben is a Jaime Lannister stand in, absolutely not. He doesn’t have even a quarter of the emotional armor our JamLan does and Devi is certainly not a sub for Brienne, not even close. But maybe I just have a soft spot for goobers who discover they know what they want, but have no clue how to ask for it. These are my people.

In any case, I received the most perfect prompt from nausicaa_lives and had a ton of fun writing Best Night Never. I’d love for my fellow J/B fans to read it but, more than that, I hope they give Never Have I Ever a chance. It was entertaining as hell and if any of the absolutely fucking fantastic writers I know were to add that fandom to their repertoire, well. 2021 would be off to a great start, is all I’m saying.

Nausicaa_lives, if you’re out there in tumblrland, please know that I am incredibly thankful for the chance to write for this pairing. It wouldn’t have happened without you! ❤️

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144446

#never have I ever #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #devi x ben #my fic #best night never

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paleononnie · 4 years

Text

Friday Five Fic Recs

So a few Bennguin fic recs to keep everyone entertained while we all social distance! I would like to say off the top that I’m not a *huge* stickler for perfect grammar. I joke that I can barely write myself through a scathing Amazon review (I confess so many random commas!) but as long as the story is strong and if not an AU, has a certain level of accuracy, I’m okay with that. So just a few examples: has a passing knowledge of locations in Dallas or knows that it doesn’t tend to snow very often on Vancouver Island (edit: except in the higher elevations. Not so much in Saanich) so there shouldn’t be mentions of Jamie or Jordie playing shinny on frozen ponds growing up. They would have played road hockey instead. Also just like Americans we sound different based on where we live or grew up so I’m not a big fan of mentions of The Canadian Accent. Jamie and Jordie definitely sound like they’re from The Island (ie: you can hear it when Jamie says “I love it!” in the latest Dude Perfect Stars video or any post game scrum Jordie does ever) Tyler sounds like he’s from the GTA. I have a good friend who grew up in Brampton too and they sound a lot alike although his seems to be somewhat tempered from the years that he’s lived in the US .

Anyhow, for this first one the picks will be kind of random although I’ll try to keep them somewhat lighthearted since I’m not sure if anyone truly wants to read apocalyptic or dystopian fic right about now and they definitely reflect what I personally enjoy so they might not be for everyone but next time if people are interested they can make suggestions for what they would like to see. That being said, any recommendation I make be sure to check the archive warnings and tags at AO3 just in case it’s not something you’re interested in or it’s out of your comfort zone. I’m pretty zen with alot (read: I am a fan of the sex) but that’s me. It might not be for you and that’s perfectly okay. Never feel bad about hitting the back button.

Romantic Motherfucking Best by lightgetsin

Jamie’s supposed to boyfriend this shit right up, and Tyler wants to see that.

This is an early one from 2014 and you might have read it already especially if you’ve been going through the tag after sorting by kudos but I think it hits alot of the right notes and considering that was from 2014, I can see how they made the interpretations and exploration of the Jamie and Tyler we see in those early interviews which I don’t think was always easy to do. Especially with Jamie. Yeah, they missed Tyler’s pineapple allergy but since that wasn’t well known until after the National Pizza Day clip Tyler did with SN in 2017, I don’t hold that against them.

Sweet Sweet Love by lightgetsin

“Sweet, sweet love,” Jamie repeats, because really there’s no option here but to own it. He raises an eyebrow. “You in?” He leans closer. “Dare you.”

“Oh,” Tyler says, sitting up straight. “It is on.”

Same author but this one just cracks me up every time I revisit it. Anytime someone writes these two goobers like the utter goobers they are, I’m there for it. Also the Jordie in this makes me cry laugh. And hey! There’s podfic available too if you’re so inclined.

Off-Ice Situation by orphan account

He waggles his eyebrows, grins and looks over at Jamie like do you want to tell them or should I? Jamie elbows him and everyone laughs, and neither one of them can stop smiling. Crisis averted.

I’m pretty sure that I recall this writer from before they orphaned their account and they had two other ones that tend to get a little more attention (aside: one which has Jamie and Katie breaking up which I figured was a little too…timely. I might recommend it in the future once the furor dies down.) but this one is fun. Includes one of the greatest Jamie and Tyler interactions outside of “Do you like horses?” “I like stallions more.”

Naked and Afraid by makeit_takeit

“I’m Tyler,” the voiceover says, laid on top of a still photo of a shirtless guy with a sick sleeve and a giant grin hanging by one hand from an outcropping of rock, flexing the not-inconsiderable biceps of his free arm as he mugs for the camera. The drop to the water below him has to be 10 meters, maybe more.

“I’m 26, from Brampton, Ontario, but I’ve lived all over the world.”

Jamie hasn’t really been paying that much attention - he’s eating dinner and looking at his phone, the TV more background noise than anything - but he puts his phone aside when he hears Ontario. As far as he knows, only one other Canadian has ever been a contestant on the show.

This time an AU. Jamie the awkward family charter boat owner and Tyler the wanderlust traveler without roots…until. I know nothing about the show so I can’t speak to how accurate a fusion it is but going into it not knowing anything, I just found it so entertaining and I could see hints of Tyler and Jamie here not that they were just characters that share the same names.

Door to Door by Ferritin4

“I work two jobs. I’m Tyler,” Tyler says, extending his hand. “Do you want to come in?”

Well, he’s not doing anything illegal, Jamie thinks, shaking it, because no criminal in the history of crime has ever willingly invited a cop into their house, and there is no one in the city of Dallas who hasn’t pegged Jamie as a cop within six seconds of meeting him.

Another AU. Jamie is a detective. Tyler is a bartender slash mechanic. Together? Well, they don’t fight crime but they have great banter. It’s not particularly deep, some familiar references (ex: Jamie needs a hair cut and new clothes) but it’s light and fun. Also starring Marshall, Cash, Jordie with special guest: Hilary Knight.

#bennguin #fic recs #friday five #jamie benn #tyler seguin

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captain-sodapop · 4 years

Note

Don’t even get me started on Dean’s mischaracterization by the fandom

You bet your ass I have a lot to say about this.

I almost don’t even know where to begin. So I guess we’ll start by my saying this: I love Dean Winchester. Like...obviously. There are a lot of reasons why, and they’re not all just because I find him...insanely attractive. I can relate to his oldest sibling struggles; I love what a total goober he can be, his selflessness, his concern for humanity as a whole, his defiance, his dorkiness, and the way he has evolved over the years. He’s like Shrek - he has layers. Especially now that the boys have been in the bunker for seven years, we can see a more domestic, gentler side to him. He’s a caregiver, he loves his family and friends, he doesn’t take any shit. Dean Winchester, like many of the characters on this show, has many admirable qualities.

But he is also deeply flawed.

From a writing point of view, if Dean were perfect in every way, like a superhero, he would be so fucking boring, so he’s more entertaining and realistic as a character with flaws. Dean is an alcoholic with anger issues; he is incredibly impulsive; he’s constantly putting his foot in his mouth and saying either incredibly insensitive things or poorly-timed jokes; he often views situations as his way or the highway (which to me is why Sam is a much more effective leader than Dean is - not because Dean isn’t smart or is incapable, but because he sometimes becomes something of a...well, a dictator, as he has admitted to seeing himself as in his darkest moments.) Dean is a really smart guy, too, don’t get that twisted, but he has been shown at times to be somewhat...ignorant. He is a brilliant tactician, street smart, in-tune to the emotions of others, and is very culturally savvy, but due to a myriad of reasons, he did not have the education that Sam has, or is programmed like Cas to “not get words wrong” or know a bunch of the weird mysteries of the universe. The fact that he isn’t formally educated in itself is not a flaw, but there’s definitely an ignorant streak in him that I think you can see in his devolving bigotry towards supernatural creatures and almost a lack of knowledge of what’s going on in the world around him (remember how Sam was the one in 13x23 who brought all the Apocalypse World refugees up to speed?)

These qualities can all coexist with each other. Dean can be an adorable, smart, old-school nerd who watches Jeopardy! every night (which I would love to see) and not be as traditionally educated as Sam. And that’s okay. He can love deeply and fiercely and still be a complete and utter jackass at times. And that’s okay. He can stand up to the authorities of the universe and still turn around and boss people around. And that’s okay. He can admit to loving rom-coms and then turn around and don his mask of traditional masculinity. And that’s okay. And he can go from making burgers and giving Jack his robe to keep warm to screaming at the top of his lungs because he is angry and scared and frustrated and doesn’t know what’s coming next. And that’s okay.

The reason I’m saying these things are okay is not because I’m excusing Dean for being an asshole sometimes, but because it makes him a more realistic, balanced character that is interesting to the audience. Perfection is completely unrealistic. Problem is, a lot of Dean stans - while they know these flaws are a part of him - are not willing to accept that sometimes, Dean is wholly in the wrong. They try to shift blame and skew the narrative so that Sam, Cas, Jack, Mary...practically everyone Dean loves are responsible for his behavior.

Which is bullshit.

Dean is the only person responsible for his actions. The mischaracterization by the fans comes in when they fail to accept this as fact. They want Dean to be the idealized version in their heads, and use the people he loves as scapegoats for his behavior.

The most egregious example of this is, probably to no one’s surprise, season nine. Co-dependence aside, I think Dean really thought he was doing the right thing by saving Sam. The Winchesters don’t live by the same rules as everyone else, so he thinks it’s just the thing to do to bring Sam back from the brink of death and save him no matter the cost, no matter what Sam himself wants. Not that Sam wants to be dead, but the way in which Dean had to save him was...very violating and eventually had tremendous repercussions. Did Dean mean for any of that to happen? No. Was Sam right to say that he didn’t want to be brothers anymore? Probably not, but I also understand where he was coming from and don’t think he completely meant it and was instead trying to both hurt Dean and express his anger at the situation. But at the end of the day, Dean still made all the choices for himself, and Sam’s anger was completely justified.

Look again at season eight. The situation is completely reversed: Dean is in Purgatory, Sam is on Earth with a dog and a house and a woman he loves. Sam is trying to process his grief and move on with his life. He was completely, utterly alone and rudderless without Dean and Cas. This is...normal. People important to you die, and it’s devastating, but Sam was trying to move forward because bringing people back usually has terrible consequences. Sam is not wrong for doing this. He is not. He is not to blame. Dean has forgiven him for this. Regardless of what you think of Amelia and the nitty-gritty of the storyline, Sam is not at fault for how Dean chose to react to his choices. It’s understandable that Dean would be upset by Sam choosing a normal grief process because of their past choices, but he has since forgiven him.

Neither brother is better than the other for the choices they make because they have both done right and they have both done wrong by themselves, each other, and others. Same goes for characters such as Cas, Mary, and Jack. At the end of the day, none of the main characters are any worse or better than the others.

So a lot of fans might get the classic rock, the drinking, the love of cartoons and Jeopardy!, the love for his family and his kitchen...but it often stops there. They ignore his faults - or simply say his aren’t as egregious - and blame others, or they try to prove that he’s smarter than Sam, or more righteous than Cas, or that Jack or Mary or whoever don’t deserve even the time of day from him because he’s so superior. Fucking bullshit.

I am good with a Dean Winchester that constantly gaffes, prefers slasher flicks to books, and wears every emotion - good and bad - on his sleeve. I do not need him to be the smartest, most righteous, morally superior person in the room. He is who he is, the good and the bad, and he has evolved as a character every season to become a truer version of himself, and as Dean himself says: “I’m good with who I am...and maybe I’m just too damn old to want to change that.”

#oop kinda went off #dean winchester #dean bean #supernatural #dean meta #abby speaks

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nevaryadl · 5 years

Note

Strykabal for the ship meme ?

Alright, now that I’ve got all that out of my system, back to the regular gay programming to cool down.

Pre: Pre burns KabalPost: Post burns Kabal

1) who can outdrink the other?

Pre: They both have pretty sturdy livers, but Kabal’s hell metabolism can burn through alcohol quicker so he can drink more than Stryker.Post: Kabal is sort of highly aware of his delicate mental health and chooses to not drink at all to prevent from forming bad habits and such. Stryker is happy to help him and only keeps 2-3 beers in the house at any given time.

2) who says “I love you” more?

Pre: They both say it because they’re both SAPS. They tend to be cheesy about it, usually throwing in nicks like babe while saying it. They just a sappy couple and love saying it.Post: They both say it fairly often, but Stryker def tries to be very verbal about loving Kabal, knowing that Kabal suffers some pretty bad self esteem issue with his burn scars.

3) who has trouble sleeping alone?

Pre and Post: Kabal. Kabal is just a big ol cuddle bug and after getting used to snuggling up with the hubby at night, he doesn’t like sleeping alone. Post burns Kabal is def very needy physically and sleeps better if he can snuggle the hubby.

4) who swears more?

Pre and Post: They both swear fairly often and about the same, Kabal tends to be a but more heavy on using ‘fuck’ in public.

5) who does more of the housework?

Pre and Post: They like to do it together, they can dance around in their PJs and listen to shitty pop music and be sappy dorks in love.

6) who forgets their anniversary?

Pre: They both do, they just work a lot is all, and tend to go ‘wait shit, let’s go do something’ and do something light and quick.Post: They both try very hard to remember. It’s grounding after all they’ve been through and remembering is something nice for Kabal.

7) who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Pre and Post: Neither, it gets tossed because Kabal burns hot even in his sleep, and esp post burns he tends to be very warm.

8) who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

Pre: Neither, Kabal does toss and turn a bitPost: Kabal can have whistling breathing/wheezing fits, Stryker really doesn’t mind and tries to help Kabal through them.

9) who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?

Pre: Stryker has always wanted a dog and sometimes tries to convince Kabal to let him keep ones he picks up off the road. Kabal relucantly needs to talk him down because their hours are hectic and who knows what a street dog has, and usually convinces Stryker that the dog can stay the night but handed over to the shelter in the morningPost: They adopt a happy, but chill lapdog from the street, taking it the vet and getting it checked out, chipped and collared.

10) who usually makes dinner?

Pre: They both suck at cooking, usually they order or make quick meals.Post: They both try and cook, it’s a grounding and domestic thing that they can do.

11) who plays their music out loud?

Pre and Post: Neither, they’ve had to answer noise complaints before, they’re not assholes.

12) who hogs the bathroom?

Pre and Post: Neither, they just don’t care too much about their looks. And after getting burned, Kabal tries to avoid the mirror and usually uses the bathroom in the dark.

13) who gives the most compliments?

Pre: They both do, they’re just sappy and love smothering the other in attention.Post: They both still do but Stryker makes a point of doing it some more to really bring home the point that he still is very much in love with Kabal and still attracted with him.

14) who usually starts/causes arguments between them?

No.

15) who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?

Pre and Post: Stryker. He loves his guy and will be a fucking goober about it, and if people are looking at him they’re leaving Kabal the fuck alone.

16) who gives the other cringeworthy pet names?

Pre and Post: They both can be dorks about nicks.

17) who fusses over takes care of the other when they get sick?

Pre: Kabal fusses over Stryker, but mostly because his hell metabolism burns anything that tries to get him sick.Post: They fuss over each other pretty hard. Kabal when Stryker gets sick and Stryker about Kabal’s burns if they start bothering him.

18) who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?

Pre and Post: They’re damn good at communication, and especially post burns, they try very hard to communicate and keep things calm.

19) who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?

Pre and Post: Kabal, he’s touch needy, especially after the burns. Hugging the hubby does WONDERS for calming him down and assuring him all is well.

20) who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

Pre and Post: They both are, they’re just a very sappy pair of husbands.

#strykabal #ask meme #Anonymous

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nevermindthewind · 5 years

Photo

the beach house on crack: a love island au

alright lads so basically i’ve been binge watching love island and got to thinking about how jake and amy would be if they were in the villa bc you know it’d be spicy af so naturally i called up my resident brit @fourdrinkamy and the two of us wrote up some (4k words of) headcanons!!! If you dont watch love island then 1) culture yourself 2) it’s a british reality tv show that’s like a better version of the bachelor

“The premise of Love Island is simple. A group of attractive 20-somethings are made to couple up and share a bed—regardless of whether they have a romantic connection—in a villa on the Spanish island of Majorca. New cast members and challenges are introduced to make things difficult and they are made to recouple.” - time.com (oh + the winning couple gets £50k)

keep reading below the cut for some reality tv/brooklyn nine nine madness!!!

· so jake and amy are part of the original ten in the villa, obvs, along with charles, terry, gina, sharon and rosa and a few other randos who we don’t care about

· when jake comes in amy thinks he’s cute in a goofy sort of way but she doesn’t step forward (therefore admitting she would want to couple up with him) bc she wants to keep her options open and what not but jake thinks shes a BABE so he decides to couple with her anyway

She’s not mad about it though, he seems like a good time

charles choses rosa and she is Not Pleased bc he seems like a goober (he is)

Terry picks sharon and they become like the jack and dani of the season (kinda)

· Charles and jake instantly bond and have one of the best bromances in love island history

· Gina is the biggest pot stirrer the island’s ever seen and is constantly trying to get terry away from sharon but he doesn’t ever budge

· within the first few days its clear to amy they’re just gonna be buddies but that’s fine bc while he likes orange soda in his cereal and is possibly the messiest man she’s ever met he’s really funny and they’re really good at all the different competitions and she’s got the perfect wingman for when mr. right does come around!

· jake doesn’t mind either bc amy’s super chill and also wants to join the police academy so they can talk cop movies which is dope and also they smoke the competition when it comes to challenges

· Amy loves that they get given water bottles and forces Jake to drink it in its entirety x3 daily

· The first set of new guys/girls comes into the villa and while amy and jake both try neither of them feel anything so at the first recoupling Amy chooses to stay with jake so they both can stay and try to find someone

Rosa choses the new guy marcus much to charles’ disappointment

· jake gets everyone in the villa to start making title of your sex tape jokes and it becomes a running joke and the public gets it trending on twitter

· Over the course of the next week or so they have become each other’s best friend in the villa and often find themselves hanging out one on one even when they don’t have to, to the point where everyone else is questioning whether they actually like each other or not

· The islanders get a text from the producers (“I GOT A TEXT”) saying each couple has to pick two other couples they think are the least compatible and whoever has the most votes will get dumped from the villa, but even though jake and amy are in a friendship couple the rest of the couples think they have such good chemistry they don’t receive a single vote

· jake’s thinking the same thing and confides in charles after a few drinks and charles convinces him to say something to her

Charles is already a self-defined “melt” for jake & amy

THATS WHEN TEDDY COMES INTO THE ISLAND dun dun dun

Amy’s instantly drawn to teddy and everyone is excited bc she finally found someone she’s interested in

“He’s 100% my type on paper”

jake is genuinely happy for her ( “how do i look? Is this lipstick too much?” “you look great, ames”) but at the same time is a sad lil puppy

That night they recouple and amy chooses teddy and the public are sad bc jake and amy belong together!!!!!

Gina recouples with jake to keep him around bc she’s his mate le duh

amy’s all excited that night because she finally has someone to cuddle with but teddy just??? rolls over and goes to bed??? uh okay…

Also he snores. Big time.

Charles brings his sleep apnea machine and between that and teddy’s snores no one can sleep

On the brightside no one can hear the couples who are ~doing bits~

(A/N to clarify: in the villa, everyone sleeps in the same room which has six double beds & you share a bed with whoever you happen to be ‘coupled up’ with at the time)

· The jimmy jabs is totes one of the competitions they do and jake lets amy (and therefore teddy) win bc he knows how bad she wants it……and because he still likes her

· The heist, on the other hand, is something jake comes up with on his own and eventually everyone in the villa starts swiping things from each other

· Eventually this super hot girl sophia enters the villa and jake is SMITTEN

Jake in the interview room: “Looks like the gods have finally answered my prayers…”

iain the narrator: “Yes, the gods. Or, our producers wanted a bit of action so they asked our intern to find out your type.”

· Pimento enters the villa the same time as sophia and he and rosa are instantly drawn to each other and poor marcus doesnt stand a chance

They become co-presidents of the do bits society within like a day, even doing it in the middle of the day

Jake walks in on them doing it TWICE in one day and just silently backs out of the room, it’s not like he needed sun cream anyway

· sophia gets to pick two guys to take on a date and one of them is jake and amy is v jealous bc teddy is a dud (not that she’s going to admit that to anyone apart from in the talking head…just yet)

“I just don’t get what he sees in her honestly? Oh god…am i jealous of sophia?! Noooooo…”

Iain the narrator: “Yessssssss…”

· Amy’s been trying to get to know teddy, but it turns out the guy is a total snoozefest, which she tells gina and rosa one day while they’re getting ready

“All he ever talks about is pilsners. I dont even like pilsners!!!”

“Also, I dunno if you guys noticed this but the guy wears mesh underwear. Like why? Is it medical? How do you even ask that?!”

· Jake and sophia immediately hit it off and in the same episode it becomes v clear amy is over teddy and his lack of a personality

Theres a recoupling where boys pick and jake picks sophia and teddy picks amy but amy is Not Pleased

· A group of the islanders (led by Jake) creates a game where they take a shot every time Teddy chooses a pilsner to drink

charles is pissed by like six pm

· UH OH THERES A KISSING CHALLENGE

The islanders play snog marry pie, so basically the boys line up in a line and the girls pick a boy to make out with and one they’d want to marry (and one they want to throw a literal pie in their face)

Sophia snogs jake ofc and then says she’d marry some rando (again who we don’t care about)

Amy, however, chooses to marry teddy - “i’m marrying you because i think we’d have cute babies who would go to code camp” - AND KISSES JAKE. jake is surprised but also not upset?? And when amy pulls away jake seems to lean in for more!!!

Cut to sophia in the talking head like “HANG ON. why did she kiss jake and why did he look like he was going in for more???”

Sophia gets pissed off at jake who’s genuinely confused

“It was just a game?? Like i’dve kissed anyone bc that’s literally the game”

“Yes jake but you clearly went for more. And you didn’t have to slip your tongue into her mouth.”

Jake tries to clear his name but sophia’s not having it

“If you liked amy you should’ve just told me, not made out with her in front of me and the whole damn country”

She storms off after that leaving jake alone on the swinging couch

Cut to jake smiling in the talking head: “amy kissed me…”

NEXT TIME ON LOVE ISLAND…

Just kidding i don’t have enough follow through to make two posts so we’re just gonna do it all now

· After all that ~drama~ sophia goes to sleep on the couch but jake, ever the gentleman, tells her he’ll take the couch and she can sleep in the bed

Teddy and amy still share a bed…i mean it’s not like they cuddled before anyway…

· Everyone in the villa gives jake crap for his bedhead and amy crap for her old lady glasses

Jake def makes the glasses/penis comment and iain makes some snarky narrator remark

· Jake and Amy kinda dance around each other most of the day and then they hear Gina announce “I GOT A TEEEEEXXXXXT”

“Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling. The girls will choose their partner. The remaining boy with be dumped from the villa immediately. #choosewisely”

Everyone in the villa immediately turns to jake and amy

· After a proper gassing up from gina, rosa, and charles jake finally goes over to amy

“Hey ames, can we go for a chat?”

Amy tucks her hair behind her ears as she gets up heheheh

Gina, rosa and charles don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re watching the entire conversation unfold from their spot on the day bed

· They go to the hanging couch (the best spot in the villa in my humble opinion) and jake finally tells her how he feels!!!!

“Look, i dont wanna be a jerk…I know you’re coupled up with teddy and it’s going really well. It’s just…”

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen at this recoupling and I think I’d be pissed with myself if I didn’t say this. I kinda wish something could happen between us…romantic stylez. And i know it probably will never happen because you’re happy in your couple but…”

· Before either of them can say anything more they’re cut off by terry announcing he has a text!!!

“Islanders, it is now time for the recoupling. Whichever boy is not chosen to recouple will be dumped from the villa immediately.”

Jake and amy just kinda stare at each other for a few seconds before amy finally gets up wordlessly and walks to the bonfire

· In classic love island fashion, amy has to choose her boy last, so it’s down to just teddy and jake. Whoever she doesn’t pick has to leave the villa.

Everyone, e v e r y o n e is visibly stressed. Charles is full on crying, and rosa is clutching pimento’s hand so hard it may or may not break by the end of the night

Teddy, god bless him, looks completely at ease. Jake keeps scratching the back of his neck and wringing his hands

· Finally amy takes a deep breath.

“I chose this boy because…he makes me laugh. He’s a good friend, and he knows me better than anyone in the villa. Also – he’s probably gonna make fun of me for saying this – but he’s, like, really fit. I don’t know, I just would be so, so sad if he left the villa. And I want to give us a chance to go beyond friends.”

At this point the camera flips to jake who is giving her the smallest, sweetest smile and then to teddy who’s finally catching on.

“The boy I choose is…”

*dramatic-ass pause*

“Jake.”

· THE MUSIC SWELLS. JAKE WALKS OVER TO HER AND GIVES HER THE SWEETEST KISS. EVERYONE CRIES, EVEN ROSA.

Amy smiles as they pull apart.

“So, a lot of change around here, huh?”

He kisses her again. :’)

· The first night they sleep together they don’t kiss but they do spoon

Jake is almost always the little spoon and at first he gets crap from the other boys when they see this but he doesn’t care because being the little spoon is the best!!!!! He gets to wake up in amys arms like hellooooo

· Amy and jake are surprisingly affectionate??? Not in a weird way like charles and genevieve but amy just always seems to have a hand on his knee or what have you

For the record, amy was NEVER like that with teddy.

· Amy has a STRICT no-sex rule in the bedroom bc hello they are on national television her abuela could be watching!!!! + it would be super weird to do bits in the same room as charles…of course jake completely and utterly respects this and doesn’t even question it. If he has to go 6 weeks without sex even though he’s sharing a bed every night with the hottest girl he’s ever seen then so be it

· UNTIL it’s announced via text that The Hideaway (a private area/bedroom in the villa away from everyone else but still not the cameras Obviously this is love island) is open and the islanders get to choose a couple to stay there for the night. Having had to put up with their blossoming love and flirting 24 fucking 7 everyone else unanimously screams “jake and amy!!!! It has to be Jake and amy!!!!” and they just grin at each other

· The bed is so big and covered in rose petals & there happens to be a very handy bowl of condoms on the bedside table…at first they just talk about how nice it is to get some alone time and just hang out….which of course turns to kissing and then making out and then………under the covers they go (for those who don’t actually watch the show it’s literally like seeing sims wahooing but irl) (maybe we see a cheeky black and white shot of amy moaning)

· The next morning amy wakes up with the BIGGEST grin on her face and her hair all mussed, and she kisses jake awake “morning, baby” and he immediately pulls her into him and kisses her back

Jake’s talking head: “Last night? Last night was….it was amazing. Stupid good. That’s all I’m going to say.” our boy!!! Cannot!!! Stop smiling!!!!

· When they get back to the main villa they naturally segregate into boys and girls and the guys immediately ask jake “how was your night? Did you get any??” “oh my god, did you FRENCH???” “charles, no nothing happened”

· (in true Jamie style) he goes over to the day beds with amy and lets her cuddle into his chest and asks if it’s okay if he tells people what happened in the hideaway - he’s a gentleman!!! And he’s always going to respect her boundaries!! Amy tells him of course that’s okay, people are going to find out anyway and that it’s really sweet of him to check with her…and she laughs to herself when jake goes back over to the boys and she hears charles scream “I KNEW YOU WERE GLOWING”

· Rosa and Gina casually-but-not-so-subtly ask amy “so did you shag? Tell us everything” and amy just smiles….rosa and gina look at each other like noice, they’re so proud of her!!

Rosa later confides in amy “the amy i knew two weeks ago would nEver have done that with Teddy…i’m happy for you, santiago”

· CASA AMOR. the boys have to sneak out of the villa (jake goes into full on spy mode rolling around on the carpet) and get shipped off to a separate one that has 6 new girls in it and then 6 new boys enter the old villa to shake things up (reality television at its absolute FINEST YALL)…the producers’ twist? Fucking Constantine Kane gets put in the girls’ villa - amy’s eyes widen out of their sockets when she sees her most random ex enter. He of course is still so in love with her, or so he claims, and tells her how excited he is to couple up with her and share a bed and win her over and get married and have babies with her. Amy naturally is like no way jose and spends the entire time trying to avoid him (with the help of rosa) hiding everywhere she can fit and sleeping on the sofa at night (and, also naturally, she worries that Sophia 2.0 is with jake right now and she realises it kind of makes her sick to her stomach thinking about jake kissing another girl….maybe she likes him even more than she thought she did?)

· Just to mess with him, jake gets a text that has a photo of constantine trying to kiss amy and poor bb gets beside himself with worry…

Jake’s talking head: “I mean Amy can do whatever she wants, I’m obviously not going to stop her from being with another person - we’ve only known each other for what a month…” [he looks away from the camera and rubs his face with his hand] “But I really like her…so it just kinda…sucks.”

· OBVIOUSLY he has nothing to worry about and his face!!!!!!!!! Just lights up in relief!!!!! When amy walks back into the og villa during the Most Dramatic recoupling without bringing back anyone from the new one!!! She rushes over to him and cups his face with her hands and kisses him hard in front of everyone

· “I missed you, you know” “I missed you too” “Hey I have to ask…that guy you were with-” “You saw that?” “I got sent a photo…nothing…nothing happened between you, right?” “Yes - I mean no. Things did happen. In the past, on the outside. But I was young and I regret it so much - i tried to avoid him the entire time in casa amor. Honestly all I could think about was how much i wanted to be hanging out with you” “really?” she moves to sit on his lap, wraps her arms around his next and kisses his cheek. “the only person i want to be in this villa with is you” “i could say the same thing about you, ames” and then they get straight back to kissing :’)))

Iain: “nope, that’s definitely not a tear in my eye”

· One morning the islanders wake up to the delightful sound of babies screaming bc you guessed it!! baby challenge!!! (i.e. towards the end of the summer, the couples are given plastic babies and have to look after them for a day)

Amy is SO excited and throws the covers off running towards the cribs (after Charles and Genevieve) screaming - “We made a baby! Oh my god I have a baby!” leaving a half-awake dazed and confused jake still in bed

Jake & Rosa eventually bother getting out of their respective beds, definitely not as excited as the rest of the villa, but jake will admit his heart flutters a little seeing amy cradling a plastic baby to her chest so attentively

“Jake! Look we have a little girl!” “awww she looks just like you, Ames” “we have to name her” “Nakatomi” jake answers immediately, to which amy whines “jaaaake take it seriously! I’m not having a daughter called Nakatomi” “fine, i’ll compromise on Holly”

At first jake is a little apprehensive about having this new Responsibility (and he’s not about to blurt out all his dad issues on national television) and so he keeps his distance and mainly lets amy take care of their new offspring in the morning (“amessss why does it keep crying?” “i cannot Believe you would call our baby it, peralta!”) That is until the girls get sent off on a Mommy’s Lunch, turning the villa into daddy day care….

He knows how much Amy loves this little baby so he decides he is going to take this seriously and it doesn’t take long for him to realise that??? This is kinda fun??? He takes Holly on strolls in her buggy around the villa and plays with her in the pool with charles and terry and (tugging at the public’s heart) sits on a day bed with her and tells her just how awesome her mummy is

When amy gets back, her heart completely MELTS at the sight of her new bf with their little one……and they end up talking about how they’re the best parents in the entire villa nay the world (“our kid is WAY cuter than terry and sharon’s” “oh for SURE”) & then of course win the challenge

· For the Final Date extravaganza they go on a helicopter ride and ngl even Amy is beside herself with excitement…they’ve spent the last 6 weeks talking about their favourite action films etc. and now it’s like they’re in one! They definitely act like literal children/real cops pretending they’re on a manhunt for a fugitive (instead of appreciating the view like normal people)

They get treated to a romantic dinner afterwards followed by dancing with live musicians and that’s when they FINALLY say those 3 words to each other….(well 5 if you count “noice, smort”)

· AND THE WINNER IS…..jake and amy obviously this is a b99 x love island au :’) they’re so sweet and humble about it & amy makes jake promise on live national television that he’s not just going to spend all their cash prize on sneakers. They each end up with over a million followers on their instagrams, where they regularly post photos of each other on date night/ at premieres/ evenings at home…and also video sagas of them pranking each other which starts with amy pieing jake’s face unexpectedly and escalates into fake proposals and frozen shoes….and maybe some *light* tasering

· Of course they end up getting married for realz and a baby announcement follows not too long after that…they are utterly the nation’s sweethearts (and Charles keeps doing interviews to the press saying he’s the one who brought them together in the villa from the beginning)

#ive never been more proud of a piece of work than i am of this #fic #my writing #headcanon #peraltiago

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