#neuter alone is like

[alisaint]

can i be honest. nicholas did well enough and clearly they cast him in rw&rb for a reason but he is just Not giving "gay as a maypole" imo. meanwhile taylor is over here with the tender unconscious bg touches and REAL kissing and hip thrusts and grabbing at him, really serving that bisexual king alex & "i'm just as comfortable kissing male coworkers as i am female coworkers" realness. watch nicholas in the idea of you and then watch rw&rb. he put his whole actorussy in kissing ms hathaway and yet none of that flavor and raw intimacy is found in his gay shit............. so very sad to see. i hope this will not be the case in the sequel :/

[tragicomedys]

ok

[my-cat-can-slay-dragons]

My friends sisters cat has had kittens, so he’s asking me for advice, and his sister is just completely ignoring it. Then when I asked why she wants to keep the kittens if she won’t even look after the cat she already has (who is obviously not spayed, and has been let out immediately after giving birth, and has taken a kitten with her) and he’s acting annoyed that I’ve said she’s not looking after her cats. Which she isn’t. And hasn’t been for the whole time I’ve known him. 🙄

[leyiorr]

i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!

mdni.

satoru gojo is doomed.

why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.

crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.

of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.

you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.

he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.

more.

that's right, you were more.

recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.

surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.

he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.

so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.

it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?

his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-

“satoru?”

his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.

“did you listen to anything i said?” your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.

what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-

“satoru!”

he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.

it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.

the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.

(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)

he should be neutered. effective immediately.

it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:

“baby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-” he trips and stumbles over his words-

“...is that it?”

and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?

he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.

yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.

[ms-demeanor]

I've been following what's been going on with Belphie the kitten and his person, Greer Stothers, has just mentioned pet insurance in a tag on a post and I wanted to give an example from my life backing up why pet insurance can be a good idea and why I think it is worthwhile.

Two years ago my sister's dog had bloat while she was on vacation. The kennel he was staying at recognized symptoms and called my sister to clear them to take him to the emergency vet. My sister is very financially secure and this dog is an enormous part of her life, so she said yes with barely a moment of hesitation. That ended up being about twelve thousand dollars of emergency surgery.

Large Bastard and I got pet insurance for Tiny Bastard the same week because we realized that if someone had presented that option to us, we would have had no choice but to have Tiny Bastard put down, and we didn't want to be put in that position.

I did a lot of research about different kinds of pet insurance and different levels of coverage and annual maximums and deductibles and so on and so forth. Tiny Bastard is a senior dog, so this was going to be expensive no matter what options we went with, so I chose a moderately priced plan with a $500 annual deductible, unlimited annual coverage, that pays 80% of the bills incurred annually below the maximum. What that means is that we pay the first $500 of care totally out of pocket, after which point we are reimbursed 80% of any vet bills for care covered by the plan.

The first year we had this plan I was kind of iffy about it. It's a noticeable monthly expense and we didn't even spend the deductible in vet bills the first year. Except that a month before the policy was set to renew, Tiny Bastard got diagnosed with diabetes. We now have monthly insulin costs and syringe costs; there are tests she has to have regularly to monitor her overall condition and we need to do more frequent vet visits to track symptoms.

Suddenly the insulin alone means that the insurance is break-even within six months and the additional visits and tests are something we can afford instead of something we'd have to put on credit.

Our plan (through ManyPets) covers medication, surgery, diagnostics, medical equipment, and euthanasia and cremation. It doesn't cover pre-existing conditions, joint conditions for dogs who were signed up over a certain age, dental care, spay/neuter, vaccinations, or prescription food but honestly all of that makes me just kind of wish we'd signed her up earlier - her knee problems *would* be covered if we'd had her signed up as a puppy, and the monthly cost would have been lower if we'd signed her up then. And there are at least a few emergency vet bills that I wouldn't still be paying off on my credit card. Hell, I've probably paid more in interest on some bruising she got in a fight three years ago than I have for this policy as a whole.

I am glad that Greer is able to take care of Belphie. I am glad that my sister was able to take care of her dog. But I'm also really, really glad that for a relatively low cost, I would be able to take care of Tiny Bastard if she were catastrophically injured, or if she needed emergency surgery. I'm glad that I'm able to take care of her now with her medications and her additional vet visits.

There are a lot of people who say that pet insurance isn't worth it, especially not for young animals. But if your young animal gets very sick, or gets badly injured, or eats a hairband and needs an emergency endoscopy, then it will probably be VERY worth it. It's a risk/reward question. You feel like you're wasting money if you're paying for a policy that you never use, but honestly that just means you're lucky to have a healthy pet.

I'm lucky that Tiny Bastard was relatively healthy before I got the insurance; I'm also lucky that she was insured when she was diagnosed with a chronic illness that will need lifelong care. This enables me to provide care for her that would otherwise be financially unmanageable, and that makes the insurance *extremely worth it* from my perspective.

And Belphie is a good example of why it's a good idea to get coverage even for very young pets. Greer is recommending it because this kitten has required a tremendous amount of care during a period in his life when it's generally taken for granted that a cat will be healthy. (And Greer is not stupid for forgoing pet insurance - pet insurance is still a relatively new concept and there are lots of people who are leery of it for a number of good reasons)

So I'd say that if you've got a pet or are getting a pet it is very worthwhile to find a pet insurance plan that fits in your budget. There are a variety of plans out there and some are very inexpensive. Check coverage levels (you can even get some with wellness plans that include dental care and vaccinations) and see if there's something that works for you.

I personally don't think I'm ever going to own another pet without having pet insurance. It's ridiculous how much easier it is for me to say yes to diagnostic tests or different treatments than it was before because I know I'm going to be able to fit Tiny Bastard's care into our budget.

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Leaving aside the whole debate about the ethics of AI art and copyright, I think one of my biggest gripes with the AI art industry is that generative AI art has this natural tendency towards producing weird and surreal imagery that I actually think DOES have a lot of artistic merit and potential if explored and leaned into as one of the unique strengths of the medium.

Like, when AI image generators were at the stage imbetween the vaguely recognizable imagery produced by neuralblender and the type of generators we're seeing today, they were producing really fascinating imagery that I'd argue had value as a contribution to the art landscape that was entirely unique to AI, since the weird surreal quality of the images was the result of Machine Learning programs interpreting words and images in a fundamentally different way than humans do.

Like i'd argue shit like this indisputably has a place as its own artistic style/medium, it's surreal and weird in ways which are completely distinct from what a human artist could produce because its unique strengths come from details that are inscrutable, ambiguous, and hard to parse to the human mind, which a human artist would have an extremely hard time mentally visializing, let alone translatong into an art piece.

But since the main selling point of AI art for both the people making these generators and the teach aficinados who are a little too into them is that AI art can serve as a cheaper/faster replacement and/or alternative for the work of human artists, progress is measured not in terms of how well they can use and explore the distincly non-human quality of AI art, but instead in terms of how well they can supress it to make it more closely mimic the work of human artists. So all advancement in the tech is geared towards progressively getting rid of the things I find artistically interesting about the medium instead of towards leaning into them as strengths that give it a unique, artistically worthwile style.

Like, I don't think AI art is inherently "soulless" or devoid of artistic merit, but I do think the focus on trying to make it increasingly indistinguishable from art produced by humans strips away the things that gave it artistic merit to me. This thing can produce imagery that is weird and wild and hard for us to even conceive but the profit motive's tendency towards rewarding homogenization has neutered that to turn it into a factory of increasingly bland, generic, serviceable imagery.

[lowkeyremi]

Bakugo x fem!reader (Drabble ahhh this is short cuz I was lazy n tired !!!!)

CW: Slightly suggestive, Indication of pregnancy, marriage, little bit of swearing (cmon it’s Bakugo…) I believe in Bakugo wanting a big family so Ima write it >:)

Enjoy! <3

When he told you he wanted a big family he wasn’t kidding. His head was in your lap and he was rubbing your belly which held baby number four.

Mina offered to babysit your other three children so you two could get a break.

“You wear me out, Katsuki.” You say with a sigh as he tries to make you feel better.

“Shhh. It’ll all be over soon. Baby’s on the way.” He says rubbing your belly in a soothing way.

“I hope one day I can donate you to science so you can experience the lows of pregnancy and child birth.” You say out of spite and he ignores your comment.

“You agreed to it, so I’m not seeing why my sweet momma is so upset ‘bout it.” He says like it’s that simple.

“It was in the heat of the moment Katsuki, didn’t think you were literally gonna ‘stuff me full of your babies’.” You mock his voice with the last part.

“You think I was sayin’ it just to say it?” He asks you with a scoff like he was in disbelief.

“Whatever leave me alone, Katsuki.” His mouth makes a clicking noise at your behavior toward him.

“What’s wrong? Need your feet rubbed? Hot bath? Want something to eat?” He asks all at one time which is enough to make your head explode.

“First of all one question at a time and second of all, I don’t want anymore kids.” You say the last part with less of your lighthearted playfulness.

“I ain’t making no promises, sure we’ll end up with a few more.” He says with a smirk on his face. This man. He knows how to push your buttons.

“I wonder if I can neuter you.. oooo! I can turn you into a eunuch!” You say with a smile.

All of the color drains from his face when you mention chopping off his dick.

“You know you love me, and you love pregnancy too.” He says confidently.

“Do you know how hard it is to go out with my friends and they’re all like ‘Oh! 🙂 You’re pregnant again…’ it’s not easy.” You try to explain so he can see your side.

“Fuck what everyone else thinks, honey.” He sits up and gives you a small kiss.

“I love you and I love our little munchkins that run all around the house. You always look so pretty carrying our babies.” He says softly. He’s holding your hands and his feel rough to you, probably from all that hero work.

“I love you too, Katsuki.” A smile finally cracks onto your face as your anger fizzes away. You’ve calmed down and you’re now ready to conquer baby number four.

“But seriously, let’s lay off having anymore kids for awhile I think four is going to be chaotic.” You reason.

He nods his head firmly. “It’s potty training that’s chaotic, because Kaien just pees all over the floor.” He states with an extended groan.

“That’s your son, you need to teach him how to pee.” Bakugo shakes his head.

“Our son.” He corrects.

You shrug because what difference does it make? Whenever you’re upset with one of your children they become their father’s kids.

“Our son.” You repeat with a smile on your face.

“Our family.” He whispers quietly to you.

(this was lazy cuz I just finished the Haikyuu dads thing and I’m tired, tbh I’m just trying to get some of my drafts posted 😭)

[spotlightlowlife]

Leave aces the hell alone

if you haven't realised, the title's a pun, there's a little jest but just a little

If this show wants to sex, ships and 'it's complicated' to be it's main focus to the point of drowning out the plot and stripping away the tiny nuisance it once had, OK, can't speak for myself but enough people seem to be enjoying things this way.

But leave the aces out of it.

Let's not pretend they're not vilified for existing, having a life and interests.

The "cockblocking" child whose rare screentime takes away from her daddies mlm proship, simply for daring to want her dad to follow through on their plans

and the 'ugly who nobody wants to fuck' (particularly trashy statement since he's ace and doesn't want to fuck neither) fat guy who runs a business but working for him (or just working) takes away from the other leading mlm ship. He's pretty much a banker too, we all hate them don't we?

Factor in that Stella and Striker 'wouldn't attend' pride parade so were excluded, dispite being highly relevant characters who we have seen a number of times (unlike Stella's bro and the red birdman yet to be introduced).

One comically called out all the sex a few times and the other is a victim of child marriage made to become a teenage mother yet managed a totally unheard of, social life.

Like Octavia and Mammon, both seem to have interests and some major purpose in the plot, dispite being side characters.

Like Mammon and Octavia, both get in the way of a leading mlm ship, dispite being side characters.

Like Octavia and Mammon, they have good reasons fo their interactions.

Yet alas, homophobia is implied for Stella and Striker, then ace is branded on Mammon and Octavia, the 'perfect explanation' for them to be a problem., only aces generally be minding their own business yet catch strays from those who feel judged by that one lack of common interest. Sex is used as a solution, a power and a major part of the personality within the helluverse so yes, it matters that these characters who have other things going on and get in the way of 'romance' have their own orientation, lack of or apparent dislike of put on blast.

I personally find the shipping very shallow and don't believe the LGBTQ rep is any good in this show, the best rep easily being Moxxie who was an ordinary someone dating another ordinary someone who hurt him, who happened to be another guy, no somehow rubbing shoulders with powerful but neutered or retconned immortal royalty and then becoming 'the one', just an ordinary shitty relationship between a well meaning person and a user that was a mistake in hindsight, now this latest relationship is (Millie's character is Moxxie's fangirl) just fine.

Aces should be easy to represent simply by letting them exist! Be their own personality without the need for someone else to fill in the other half slot, but no, bad representation from those who can't fathom the not caring for sex or sexual relationships has to worm it's way into something that should literally be nothing.

Dare a child whose orientation or lack of we don't even need to know, who seems reasonable want to see the stars with her dad, an interest he clearly instilled in her. The greedy entrepreneur acts a greedy entrepreneur, in other news bears shit in the woods. Both these pest third wheels share something in common? Not gonna to get it?

If only these picked on characters hadn't been used to represent already picked on asexuals, there would pretty much just be the bland female sexual representation to critique.

[mrsjellymunson]

Say Hello To My Little Friend

Written for the @steddiemicrofic August prompt ‘plug’ | WC: 437 | Rating: M | CW: Secret crush, embarrassment, mentions of a sex toy | Tags: mishearing/misunderstanding, getting together. Mature content below the cut, MDNI.

“You’d really want one?”

“Yeah, I definitely want a plug…”

The seniors’ keggers were loud, but overhearing Steve yell that over the clamour was something Eddie never expected.

His birthday was coming up, so perhaps this year Eddie would find the ideal present, something so-very-Steve, but that also says, by the way, I like you.

Eddie spends ages scouring his favourite shops, looking for the perfect butt plug for his crush, if such a thing even exists. He settles on something in sleek black silicone, a nice size for a beginner but also functional. With rhinestones on the end, because nothing's too good for his princess.

On Steve's birthday the gang gathers in his backyard. Food is consumed and Steve gets his presents. But this year Eddie hangs back, nervous. He sidles up to Steve late in the afternoon.

“I, uh… I have something for you, but I need to give it to you… in private.”

“Ooh. Is it…?”

Eyebrows bouncing, Steve pinches his thumb and forefinger together, waggling a giant invisible blunt.

“N-no, it’s…”

Before Eddie can explain that it’s significantly more personal, there’s a sudden furore. Amongst a chorus of squeals Robin appears - with a puppy in her arms. It’s unusual-looking, with a squashed face and a passing resemblance to Winston Churchill (and Dustin’s baby photos, but nobody brings that up). Steve rushes over, grinning, petting it and asking,

“Who’s this??”

Robin replies,

“She’s for you! A birthday gift from me and your folks.”

Steve’s beside himself, cooing at the furry bundle as Robin explains to everyone about the rescue pound two towns over, and how Steve’s parents helped with the adoption from afar, delighted for Steve to have company as they’re so often away.

Eventually leaving the puppy playing with the kids, Steve follows Eddie when he retreats for a cigarette, getting him alone.

“So, where’s my present?”

“Uhh, Steve, I-”

Steve lunges for Eddie’s jacket pocket, pulling out a prettily wrapped parcel and tearing it open before Eddie can stop him.

Handling the smooth silicone, Steve’s initially aghast, then intrigued, and finally confused.

“Wait, is this because of what I said at the party? When I told Robin I wanted a Pug!”

Eddie’s mortified, heat building in his chest and spreading up his neck.

“Yeah, I know that now. Please, don’t make this worse…”

He goes to move away, but Steve grabs his jacket, stopping him. He slides his hand down to Eddie’s hip, gently squeezing.

“Y’know, I’ve actually always wanted one of these too.”

Stepping closer, he adds, voice low,

“You’re gonna have to show me how to use it, though.”

🐶

PSA: Please adopt, don’t shop. Also, neuter your pets.

Thanks so much for reading!

My masterlist

Tagging my usuals, ILY all: @joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @guiltyasquinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn @skrzydlak @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @80s-addict @abellmunsonmovie @definitionwanderlust @sheneedsrocknroll92 @munson-blurbs @wonderlanddreamer @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi @kurdtbean @mediocredreams

[honeygrahambitch]

I do believe Will and Hannibal are frequently texting each other. So let me have this hc where Will is having a panic attack in the middle of the night because of a nightmare and he can't calm down. Not even cuddling his dogs helps cause he feels overstimulated so he ends up texting Hannibal a quick "Are you asleep?" and he immediately feels dumb and wants to delete it but Hannibal replies "No, not at the moment." and then Will doesn't know what to say so Hannibal gets worried and asks if everything is alright (since it was 2 am).

"Nothing unusual, just my mind being loud at the wrong time." and he feels like an idiot again cause who texts their psychiatrist in the middle of the night-

He almost drops the phone when he sees that Hannibal is calling him. Ignoring the call would be rude so he answers.

Long story short they end up chatting for the next three hours. Obviously Hannibal figures Will shouldn't be alone with his thoughts that night. They talk about all kind of stupid things like Jack's ugly new tie, Will having to neuter the latest pup he has found, what Hannibal had for dinner, then they even end up playing "would you rather" and other silly little things until Will falls asleep with Hannibal on the phone.

He is satisfied to hear Will's soft snores.

[serialkilluh1996]

☆C.O.D as DOGS☆

König; German Shepherd.

Is this about him being German? Absolutely. It just makes sense to me.

He whines a LOTTT. Spoiled ahh dog likes to get what he wants when he wants it.

He DEFINITELY does that little head tilt thing a lot. He's a confused boy, but a good one nonetheless.

Responds most to nicknames. König doesn't hit the same as "Schnookie-Poo".

He will automatically think your mad at him if you aren't speaking to him in a baby voice, but the second you sound distressed, he's in fight mode instantly.

Very protective, does NOT like new people, hence his social anxiety.

He can't be left alone for long. He goes through three stages: panic, sadness, and petty. He didn't MEAN to pee on the couch. It's TOTALLY your fault for not walking him before you left the house.

Huge biter. He loves biting. He likes to nibble on your hands when you two play, but he knows his strength, so he tries to be gentle with you.

Vicious with men. He hates men. Very violent with them. He doesn't try to be, but he's used to being the big boy. After all, he's not the average German Shepherd. You almost contemplated naming him Clifford simply because his size difference compared to other dogs his breed. He'll get used to your boyfriend...yk, if he lasts. Can't say he hasn't driven away a guy or two by either forceful intimidation or chewing up their belongs.

Has an awful hunching habit. Wake up in the middle of the night just to see the fuckin dog humping away at the table legs. You hate that but you refuse to get him neutered, so the spray bottle works for you.

König chewed up an old black shirt of yours and he just so happened to rip two wholes into the front where your breasts would go. Even though you hated his habit of eating up shit, you couldn't help but think it was a cute idea to throw it over his head, making him a little hood.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Catformers Unicron and Earth: There's a cat and it won't leave Cron alone nor won't stop somehow finding ways to enter his house. His brother cat maniac is not helpful

Primus: *surrounded by cats*You don't choose the cat. The cat chooses you

Unicron: ..Right.

Unicron TRIES to call animal control a few times, but that ends FAST when the oldest of Primus's cats begin to loom over him at night. One of them (megatronus prime) was found carrying a knife in his mouth once. The kittens arent any better and they swarm Unicron to poke at him (primus refuses to neuter and spay his dang cats).

Earth is literally the only cat he tolerates and it is because he found her drowning in a gutter and felt morally oblidged to help. She gets to ride on his shoulder. Not her mate Moon though. That cat likes to watch him sleep and it unnerves him.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can I have a interaction separately with Crewel daughter who graduated and accepted to be the bride of the guys ( Maulles, Leona, Vil, Idia, Silver, and Jamil ) saying liked

" Even if the world will or might hate you, I will not as you are my love, so please let me carry your burdens as well as you carry mine we are equal in this marriage "

Giving a soft smile at them and holding their hand softly in her much smaller ones, as here eyes she truly loved them, even more she even carrying their child in her large belly

Okay one milestone at a time 

Crewel’s daughter isn’t doing anything with anyone without preventative measures

“Because dogs who aren’t neutered don’t deserve to play in the pen!”

^^^Crewels words not mine

But let's say after graduation

Everyone’s going their separate ways and for whatever reason you’ve decided you can’t stand to let them leave

And those words kind of sound like the declaration of someone proposing after a heap load of an event 

More specifically a reputation shattering one:

Malleus Draconia

Imagine his overblot just being that bad or just someone outwardly announcing how much of a monster they think he is for simply existing Rollo 

He’s feeling disheartened and wondering if he even deserves you since he’s such a monster

And when you finally climb up on his perch on top of the school you keep your balance

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“...I cannot help but worry I truly am as they say…a monster…perhaps that is all I am.”

You sigh tapping on his shoulder and beckoning him to stand

And like your good dragon he does 

“I wanted to do this when we planned to go to the Briar Valley Ball but here goes.” 

You try to kneel down but he stops you simply because he’s just worried you’re falling

But you shake him off to continue your kneel

 popping the question with a large obsidian and emerald encrusted ring

He’s blushing, his eyes are glowing, his tails out and waving in excitement, and his wings are fluttering about as well

He’s happily accepting you’re official engagement

He might have not really understood why you started kneeling but he knew what rings meant and the words “Marry me” meant

He’s scooping you up and your not going to be able to go home without a claiming mark or two

Your father was probably well-aware this was something you had been preparing for

And really really reluctantly encouraging you as you detailed your custom ring for Malleus

“At least if I’m giving my sweet pup away it’ll be to the most powerful magic caster in Twisted Wonderland.”

Leona Kingscholar

Either the media has gotten a hold of his overblot situation or a really public squabble with Falena

He’s retreated from the castle or hiding away in a nearby abandoned building

He really just wanted to be alone

He was so angry because it was always like this 

And at this rate some other obstacle was going to come in between you and him 

How was he supposed to mow that down when everyone’s so busy whispering about every little thing about him

So you’re cautious making plenty of identifying noise that its you coming by so that he isn’t startled

He doesn’t bother holding back his frustration maybe even telling you about his worries that even he is unworthy of you

“Leona.”

“And I bet you just want to leave now, right?”

“Leona.”

“Don’t even try to lie, you might as well think I’m the level of dirt aren’t I!?”

“Leona.”

“And even worse he’s just going to pretend–”

“Leona shut up and let me propose!”

“...What?!” 

It takes him a while to register when you shove the box into his toned chest

But he wouldn’t have it any other way

Declaring your love for him he’s so pleased

He might even cry

But he was happy that for certain you’d be his 

Now it probably be pretty counter productive if he tried to stage an assassination plot, right?

Crewel’s probably chugging away at some pixie rum as he wonders where he went wrong

“Of all the motley curs it had to be him…maybe its the muscles…what in the Great Seven’s does she see in him of all people?!”

Vil Schoenheit

Any major smear campaign really that might have turned a good chunk of fans away or really rooted out the people he decided to keep close

Either hits hard and it hurts

In an established relationship he has no doubt you won’t leave him

Right?

You’ll most definitely stay by his side while he gets through this rough patch

Right?

He isn’t too much right?

Too much to deal with right?

Right?! 

Right?!

He needs you to tell him how much you love him more than anytime ever

He’ll need you to keep repeating it to him as he falls asleep when he wakes up

Heck, send him a recording not that he doesn’t already have a library full

He’ll smile and confidently defend his name to the end but he needs you more than ever

He’s not above locking you up if your unwilling

Its that bad

“Vil come to the gazebo, I have something to tell you.”

He fears the worst 

Are you really trying to leave him now of all times

He has the potion in his pocket as he steels himself not to start begging you right now

But he’s even more caught off guard when your grabbing his hand and holding it to your lips as you look into his eyes

“Marry me Vil Schoenheit.”

He’s going to cry as he says yes and you put that giant diamond and amethyst ring on his finger

“You know we’ll have to wait until this scandal dies down?”

“Why should we? This doesn’t concern them, your married to me aren’t you?”

He’s probably fallen ten times harder now

Crewel is resigned, he kind of thought this would happen 

“What can I say? She has her father’s eye for talent and theatrics.” 

Idia Shroud

He’s revealed to have overblotted or outed as the major gamer behind some of the top rankings 

He feels betrayed most of all

Gaming was his out and thanks to some vengeful fans of another gamer they almost ruined to for him

Or bringing more shame to the STYX corporation then he meant

First Ortho, then his overblot, now this

Let him be the little spoon 

And kiss him all over

And don’t leave the bed without him

This is a hard one, his hair makes it hard for him to go anywhere without someone recognizing him

“I’ll just never go outside again! Yup that's it!”

“Don’t be so dramatic! How am I supposed to marry you if you do that!?”

“Huh!”

You’ll do something officially for him of course but the ‘m’ word in general has him spiraling alone

so maybe prefacing your declaration with this will ease the blow

Go through a life altering crisis just to get the equivalent of a goddess to marry him?!

It was totally worth it

Now Ortho’s happy he just don’t know what you did to give his brother this sudden motivation to clean up his act

Crewel’s also getting the Pixie Rum for this one

“Maybe she’s fond of the lacking breeds of the bunch? I don’t understand it in the slightest.”

Silver Vanrouge

Fae community looking down on him probably

‘Why is a human even trying to protect our king? That’s quite the insult in and of itself’

He hates this

He hates it most of all 

Despite what many might think he knows they think he’s weak 

Same goes for other humans except that they know he’s…just out of touch

“Why…is it like this…?”

Lilia is there for him and Malleus comforts him but it doesn’t help

Where can he truly be someone that fits 

Someone worthy of you in the first place 

He’s not one to bottle his feelings but he doesn’t want everyone to hear

He’s also debating if he should finally take his father up on his advice to lock up who you love dearly

Anyway in blades of grass as your cushion he rests his head in your lap

“Am I truly worthy of you? Can I even prove that I am with all that I’m lacking? I went through Night Raven and have still found I’m so much lesser than you should have…”

He turns lying face flat into your thighs as he bows down to you

“Do you even still want me?!”

You lift his head declaring your love

“I’m going to marry you, Silver. ‘Want’ is an understatement.”

Crewel is holding the bridge of his nose as tightly as possible as he listens to your future father-in-law go on and on

“Ain’t that nice? We’re going to legally be a family!”

“Whatever. Don’t talk to me until the day of.”

“Don’t be like that Papa-in-law!”

“AGH Of all the picks of the litter it had to be him!?”

Jamil Viper

Al Asim family and his family finding out about his overblot and casting him out

He’s prepared for this 

Yup

He knew it would happen and it isn’t surprising

Not to mention he’s free now

…

What was he going to do now

He couldn’t demand to keep you and not know what he was doing with his life

He really dropped the ball on this one

He didn’t expect them to find out so soon

Or for his entire family to cut him off without a second word

He couldn’t believe he was saying it but he was almost happy Kalim was retaliating at them on his behalf

Relying on Kalim in his own debt felt even worse now

This would most certainly dent his plans to use snake charmer to travel with him 

You’re going to have to pull him out of his work

Which he most certainly has buried himself into 

Cook him some curry and take him on a date on the magic carpet under the moonlight

“I understand you might be trying to send me off with a nice date and my favorite food but—”

He has no intentions of letting you leave him 

“You think I’m trying to break this off? And I thought we established that you were smarter than Kalim?”

He’s stunned as you declare your love for him giving him a deep kiss right after for good measure

Crewel is actually pleased with this matchup on the surface but even the most loyal pups have their flaws

“Why must you pick the pups from Night Raven, darling daughter? They aren’t the worst of the litter…but they have their own…kinks.”

[cipheramnesia]

My thoughts on being trans and talkin about suckin n fuckin and kinky power exchange and all the stigmatized parts of our bodies is that it's good actually and encourages us to feel safe in our own skin and more free to be intimate even in less explicit ways, like holding hands or cuddling or comforting one another when we hurt or casual contact. It's good and a welcome part of any and all levels of respect both at the most raw sexual levels and the most demure realms of propriety.

Because like the conservatives and the queer hate xians and that whole lot are all about demonizing and damning us to be reduced to our genitals and who we fuck, only deigning to consider as distantly acceptable the sexless, neutered tranny that lives alone in purity. And they don't get to make that call, so that's kinda how come it still is a pretty revolutionary act to talk about how dining on girlcock or boypussy or whatever else is the finest of meals enjoyed only by the most refined palettes, or any of that stuff. We're making the most depraved kinks and sex casual and normal and so passe that the idea of objecting to something as ordinary as trans people holding hands or being married or kissing can't even begin to sound offensive, that our bodies are so thoroughly explored in such detail that trying to call anything we do sinful is ludicrous. No one gets to decide what point we get weird cept us, ya know?

Sure some people are gonna see me as a fetish object, but they won't do as near a good a job of it as my girlfriend or partner. That's a shortcoming that sucks for them and doesn't touch me. My only regret is they're jerkin it for free to a substandard fantasy, but whatever. Point is I get to be a good girl who gives tornado blow jobs in private and talk about it on Tumblr so me or someone else doesn't give a shit if I'm holding my wife and partners hands in public. Anyway that's the thoughts. Respect for our slutty troops and all that, don't let the purity police do you for thought crime.

[sidglorious]

TIGERTOK AU MASTERPOST

ok so I was tired of Reblog the same post again and again so since this is something I really enjoy to do : a master post for Tigertok AU and then everything will be posted with the tags #TigerTok or #TigerStar TikTok AU

SO, to resume

As he was going to recrute bloodclan cats, TigerStar is spotted in the street by a cat lady from tiktok. She saw this beautiful maine coon covered in scars and decided to capture him and give him a lot of love in order to gain his trust and heal his injuries. She named him Cookie & has other rescued cats. Tigerstar spend entire days attacking her with all his inner rage but you can't beat tiktok cat ladies this easy you know ?? like she is a professional cat behaviorist or something this kind so she has all the world resilience in her blood and the more he hisses at her the more she loves him and wanna take care of him.

she puts him ridiculous outfits with things like "mister angry furball" written on it and he's becoming a trend on tiktok as she's narrating her journey to gain the trust of her old rescued maine coon

firestar once find out about his worst ennemy fate and it's just became his therapy to come with graystripe & cloudtail in the bushes in front of Tigerstar / cookie home just to make fun of him

Tigerstar is the same vile, violent, bloodthirsty cat we all know but now behind everyone of his criminal acts there is a lady filming him to put him on tiktok.

After eventually getting neutered he gave up his forest life because he couldn't imagine going back to his clan without his balls I guess. he now spend his days grumbling alone in the border of his catio (because, of course, the cat lady has a catio).

I wanted to state that y'all here are so funny, it fuels my shitpost machine so thank you and please take part of the au y'all have so funnies ideas lmao

some doodle - cw scars, blood and suicide joke

[suratan-zir]

I am currently down to 3 rats - Skritch, Baton and Cactus. With Cactus being on palliative care for a brain tumor. Initial plan was to wait until we have only Skritch left (he is the youngest) and switch to female rats, since Skritch is neutered that would be very easy to do. And I miss having girl rats with their crazy energy.

However…There is one lonely siamese boy in our small local pet store. He's been there for months, all alone, and there is very little chance of anyone buying him because he doesn't even come out of his house, and his tiny cage is pushed all the way back behind the counter, under a bunch of other stuff, so costumers can't even see him. The saleswoman says he's depressed and even rejecting food.

I have a big spare cage and all the necessities. So even if he never gets along with my other boys, he would have a place to live. On the other hand, I can't save every rat I feel sorry for. I don't even like siamese coloring, yet I end up having siamese rats in every of my rat groups (Cactus is siamese too), lol. But taking care of two separate cages is daunting. And it takes up a lot of space. And I don't think Skritch is gonna like a newcomer in the house. I have a strong feeling that introduction is gonna be difficult. Why am I creating problems for myself out of nothing?