#never thought i'd live to see my country be one of the favourites

[skijumpingyeah]

holy fuck i think we might actually be winning eurovision this year

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

It's time they knew (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Based on this request. I'm sorry for how long this has taken me to finish, but I hope you like it!

I'm slowly working my way through my requests. Things might take a little while now that I'm studying for the next couple of months and it's getting closer to winter which is the busy season at work. Please bear with me!

Words: 1.6k

Tobin and I were kicking the ball around as I told her about my plans to reveal my identity. I was predominately a soccer player, but I was also a singer. No one knew who I was, no one knew I was the person behind anónima. We did songs ranging from pop to country, millions of people followed us, came to our concerts and bought our music, but no one knew who I was, who my band was. It had started as a way to put my music out there without drawing attention because I had massive stage fright. However, I was starting to entertain the idea of revealing who I was. 

"Are you sure about this baby? It's going to bring a lot of attention."

"I think so, I mean I already get attention and I'll get even more once I start with the team and when we go public. It feels like it's time, but I'll decide for sure tomorrow."

"Whatever you decide, I'll support you 100%. Can I bring the team? I know you're starting with us next week, but I would love for them to finally meet you as my girlfriend. If you decided to reveal yourself that it. Also they love you."

"Of course you can Toby. I would love to finally meet the team properly." Due to mostly playing internationally and only recently deciding to return to the US, I hadn't been called up until now. Not that I really minded too much, I was only 26, there would be the opportunity for plenty more camps in my career. It did mean I hadn't really met any of the national team. I guess it would be good to meet them before camp. 

My concerts had always worked on a trust sort of system. I didn't wear a mask or anything. The stage was dark, only just light enough that my band could see, but no one could see them. I stood at the back, away from the light. All it would take was a torch or light source to reveal our identities. Over the years I had gotten more comfortable on a stage and with my fans. Moving around and interacting with them more. I still hadn't decided if I was going to reveal myself, but the stage crew knew that if I moved to a certain point on the stage then they would turn the lights on. Of course I had also discussed it with my band since they weren't known either. They had left it up to me to decide which made it even harder. 

As I sung the first couple of songs, I watched the crowd dance and sing along. Seeing the happiness on peoples faces and knowing it was because of us was my favourite part of concerts. I found myself wishing I could join in dancing around and interacting with them more, instead of trying to stay in an area they wouldn't see me. 

Once the song ended, I spoke up, "Let's talk for a minute. I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for coming out and supporting us even though you have no idea who we are. None of this would have happened without you guys. So, as a way of thanking you, here's a new song I've been working on."

I always thought I'd be a rambling girl Living in the moment, never making plans Finding love was just a dream I was having Written in the movies, never thought it would happen

I try to fill my loneliness with whiskey And empty nights with different girls that never missed me Funny how when you least expect it Everything can change

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for

During the brief instrumental, I took a deep breath, moving forward on the stage. As I started singing the next line the stage lit up, cheers and screams louder than I had ever heard filled the stadium. 

You know I love it when your hair's a mess The way you shine when you wear that dress Girl, I don't think that you understand You make me a better person

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for

Just like blue on the sea Our love won't fade, it's evergreen Girl, the best part of me Is you

My attention was solely on Tobin as I sung the last verse. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for her. My first concert would never have happened without her encouragement and support. The many nights spent with her sitting quietly beside me as I wrote new songs because she knew it helped calm my mind enough to let my ideas flow. She had been by my side through it all, without hesitation or judgement. 

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for I sat down on the edge of the stage, taking a moment to compose myself as the cheering started to die down. "Surprise! That happened. Honestly, I was kind of torn about doing this. The secrecy behind it makes it fun, it keeps things interesting, but I also wanted to do something to thank you for the unwavering support I receive. Enough of my droning on though, I think it's time to introduce myself. I'm Y/n, behind me I have my amazing band. Guys, give a wave with your name so they know who you are. We've got Jason, Mason, yes they're twins, last but not least we have Abby. Thank you for coming to our show. Stick around because we're just getting started."

---

The show had ended a little while ago. The band and I had finished our post show debrief and showers. They had gone to pack up their gear while I waited for Tobin. She was going to wait for the crowd to calm down before making her way out the back with the team. I had played with or met a few of them through club matches in the limited time I played in the states, but a lot of my professional career was international. 

Before my nerves could grow any further, voices from down the hall caught my attention, "Tobin what's going on? I don't think we're allowed back here."

"Just wait and see."

I laughed to myself at the irritation lacing Tobin's voice before the nerves started rising again. I could sing in front of thousands of people without worrying, but I was terrified to meet them. They were important to her, they were going to be my team soon and I wanted to make a good impression. I took a deep breath, before putting on a smile as the numerous girls walked through the door, most of them freezing when they saw me. 

Tobin wrapped her arms around me, placing a kiss on my lower neck, "You did amazing, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you my love."

"Wha-" One of the girls started but cut herself off. I chuckled quietly, pulling away from Tobin. 

Christen hugged me quickly. With her being Tobin's bestfriend, I had met her pretty early on in our relationship. We got along great, but she also didn't know about my singing career, "Well this is a surprise."

"Yeeah, sorry I didn't tell you soon-"

"You don't need to apologise Y/n. I get it."

I was reminded of the people behind me when the sound of slapping started. Many of the girls still looked stunned, while a few of them were hitting each other and pointing at me. It was actually quite entertaining, but I decided to speak up and put them out of their misery, "Hey, I'm Y/n."

"Don't just stand there, introduce yourselves." Tobin spoke up making some of the girls snap out of it and introduce themselves one at a time. Then they launched into multiple different questions, "Slow down, you'll be seeing Y/n often. You don't have to ask a million questions right now."

"Wait what? How? Why?'

"Y/n is my girlfriend and she's the newest addition to the team as of next week."

"She is?" Emily asked still looking like a deer in headlights, "You're a soccer player?"

"Yes."

"You've known who she is and you didn't tell us? We talk about her all the time."

Tobin shrugged, arm wrapping around my waist, "It wasn't my place to tell you who she was. I know you love her music, but just remember Y/n will be your teammate and friend, don't just treat her like the singer you love."

"We will, it's great to meet you Y/n. Although I think we've played against each other a couple of times."

"You too Ali. I'm pretty sure we have, quite a few years ago now."

We talked for a while. The girls getting all the questions they had about me as a singer before moving on to questions about Tobin and I, my soccer career and anything else they could think of. I was a bit surprised how fast they went from being amazed at meeting me to just treating me like someone on the team. Honestly, it was a relief. I had been worried about how they would react and treat me if they knew who I was. I guess that was another thing I should be thanking Tobin for. The band had come and talked with us for a while before we all parted ways. There was only so much social interaction I could handle. With the show and meeting the team, I was exhausted. 

I crawled into bed as soon as we got back to our apartment while Tobin went to shower. Arms wrapped around me from behind as I was on the verge of sleep. "I'd say that went pretty well."

All I could do was mumble out a 'it did' before pulling Tobin closer. I could feel Tobin laughing as she placed a kiss on my cheek, "I love you baby."

[lexithwrites]

what are your favorite wolfstar hc's if you have any??? if not wolfstar then i'd love to know your thoughts on the remus and regulus friendships!!

ooo my favs? okay lemme see:

i think sirius is so fucking loud and fun and adventurous in every situation but when he's alone with remus in their flat he gets so soft and quiet and sleepy

they're very touchy but not in the making out every second its more like their fingers are always touching and they're shoulder to shoulder or remus has an arm around sirius' waist at all times

sirius really helped remus with his confidence and self respect

remus encourages sirius to go wild at the club because he loves watching him have fun but the moment someone tries to hit on sirius or dance with him he's running behind remus like 'get him boy' and remus goes into guard dog mode

their favourite cocktails are sex on the beach (sirius) and a negroni (remus)

their dream is to live in cottage in the country and own some chickens

sirius is a gamer, he loves playing online with james until the early hours of the morning and sometimes remus—who has insomnia 100%—wanders out into the living room to get a glass of water and sees sirius curled up in his gamer chair with a blanket around him and he's grumbling to himself at the screen

sirius paints remus nails for him every week with a new colour so they match

remus braids sirius hair for him when its wet so it dries curly

they always shower together but its never sexual, its literally just for the intimacy (plus sirius loves remus' hands in his hair)

remus is very insecure, he just doesn't think he's attractive and even though he has no doubt about sirius' love for him he doesn't love himself a lot and sirius always gives him confidence boosts and if he's having a really shit day he'll pamper him like crazy and help him write affirmations to put on the mirror

speaking of, sirius writes remus little notes that he leaves around the flat and in his bag and in his sock drawer to make him smile

nsfw ahead: their sex is usually slow and drawn out because they don't want it to end, but they get competitive sometimes. remus has a little goal of how many times he can make sirius cum in one session and he always wants to beat it

remus only bottoms when he's stressed

they wear each other's clothes CONSTANTLY

they have a date night every two weeks where they pick something out of a jar and do it for a day together, and they never get bored of it

and as for remus and regulus friendship i love this hehe:

they're quiet best friends, they love reading together and then they'll send each other unhinged tiktoks that only they understand

judgey besties

they get coffee together and bitch

they're both on booktok, along with evan and mary, and they hate the discourse on there

regulus and remus play dnd together every thursday night with barty, dorcas, marlene and lily (dorcas is the dm)

they're both massive nerds okay

they drag everyone to comic con multiple times a year and freak out over the authors they see and buy too many pop figures

[marcelwrites]

Sometimes it feels like I don't know this place anymore, the world has taken on a shape that's no longer familiar to me. The colours are the same, the air I'm breathing is the same, but something's fundamentally different. Lately I've been ruminating on something Ernest Hemingway said, "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know". It seems no one's happy anymore and yet I don't see a lot of intelligent life out there either. Just reactionary emotions. It's like everything's just a part of the global tinderbox. Ready to go up in flames, the screams and audible agonies echoing throughout the country. I never thought I'd live to see the day that going to bed becomes my favourite part of the day. That hour or so where I'm just in bed awake and on my phone, in my zone, comfortable, and the prospect of sleep looms over me like some nocturnal predator. I think back to the heart of the pandemic and trying to stay out of bed as much as possible, stay as occupied as possible. My partner always wanting me to join her and spend time with her, and instead I was fucking around, working out, starting YouTube channels, and whatever. Trivial shit. I should've just gone to bed instead.

[ae-neon]

Attempting to sum up my feelings and thoughts on Deadhouse Gates

4.5/5

Non-Spoilers.

What a sequel. I thought Gardens of the Moon was probably the best thing I'd ever read but somehow Deadhouse Gates was better?? Like objectively speaking the writing leveled up but also the feel of the novel was more cohesive too.

I never quite understood what people meant when they said "the setting was its own character" but from Hissar to Raraku, Seven Cities feels so real and is ever relevant to the story. It colours the pages and actions and plot in its own hue. And Erikson's layers of history and culture add a visceral and powerful weight that deepens the stories set there.

I honestly don't think I can say I read this book. I experienced it, and what an experience it was. As the fans say, I have walked the Chain of Dogs.

Once again, there is no shortage of wonder (from a ghost ship operated by the dead to a city of people turned to stone) the fantasy is as high as ever - but Erikson forced me, again and again, down to earth with the best parts of this story being the study of humanity.

Any book this grim and especially in the current political climate could come off as unpleasant or flimsy if not downright distasteful, but Erikson has left me in awe, heartbroken and shaking my head at futility but somehow never feeling hopeless. He is not trying to be dark for the sake of being dark. He is showing you humanity in all its shades.

It is not lightly that I say this book shows the actual nuance of conflict, the only way it can be: through the individual human lens. It confronts these characters with their own bias, with hypocrisy, with betrayal, with being wrong and with the humanity of their enemies and the futility of their actions.

And the characters?? Good lord, I don't understand how Erikson can have such huge but distinct characters. Even the animals have personality! Moby, Apt, the Ghral horse and of course the Wickan dogs! Felisin, Coltaine and Icarium were the standouts for me though it would be unfair not to give Erikson props for the insanity that is Iskaral Pust.

Once again, my biggest gripe boil to Erikson not being good at developing romance.

All in all, Deadhouse Gates - from it's insane prologue to the very end is a once in a lifetime experience and even if I never picked up another Malazan book (literally reading MoI rn) I would still be happy I got this far. If GoTM were not needed for context and a general understanding of Erikson's style, I would recommend Deadhouse Gates even to those who have no interest in Malazan.

Spoilers

Coltaine, Kulp and Lorn. Erikson has me 3 for 3 on killing my favourite characters. At least my Coastal Marines seem to be fine.

How so many can read this book and hate Felisin has me disappointed but not surprised. Not only was she completely valid in her feelings, but she was also hilarious in her jabs. It's so sad that one of the first memories transmitted to Felisin from Sha'ik is the implied sexual assualt at the hands of the man who raised her. And there's something so bittersweet about Sha'ik Reborn giving the name Felisin to her daughter in hopes that the girl she was and the girl she has will fair better than Felisin Paran did.

The Chain of Dogs will stay with me always. As a person who lives in the Global South/Third World and was born only 3 years into my country's independence, fear of civil unrest, war and general collapse of law and order have been very real fears in my life. I tend to stray away from documentaries and movies centered around these topics because of the anxiety it creates in me.

But Erikson never took things too far, he was blunt and honest in his portrayals - though I will say I wish we had seen more of Seven Cities natives who objected to violence and sexual assault especially as tools of war. I know that these things often happen but the same is true of objection, of restraint, of a want to see justice play out in a more lawful way.

Again, I am saying this as someone who was born into a newly independent country, so much of the immediate aftermath was trials in which families got lawful justice and acknowledgement of the wrong done to them and their loved ones under the former regime.

I am glad we got the nuance of Duiker and Kalam being natives who align more with the Empire - their reasoning is well done, nuanced and even more amazing when, in Kalam's case, he must face the possibility of viewing the Empire in a gold haze or rose-tinted glasses.

On the topic of Kalam, I will be honest and say my like of Kalam and Ben as a duo might have skewed my initial reading of Kalam and Minala's interactions, but I have never and will never be the type of person who villainizes or dislikes a female character for "coming in between" the relationship of two male characters.

I want to make it clear that I don't dislike Minala at all. However, Erikson has failed, once again, to make me believe in this romance. I don't buy Minala leaving her sister in the middle of life-changing rebellion to follow a man she barely communicated and connected with. Especially so soon after escaping her abusive husband's grasp which she only endured because it benefitted her sister.

Pearl had better chemistry with Lostara, hell, he had better chemistry with Kalam as Salk Elan than Kalam and Minala had. It would have been more believable to have Kalam stay and raise Shadowthrone's child army as a sort of repayment to Apt and Panek.

Speaking of, I always knew Kellanved/Shadowthrone was a bit...off...just from the stories he's heard but it's another thing entire to see Cotillion have doubts. VERY INTERESTING.

The Wickans piqued my interest from the moment they stopped the Red Blades at the docks but Coltaine and Bult speaking up in favour of Laseen had me instantly on their side as I never appreciated the nostalgic, boys club view that so many of our veterans had of the Laseen v Kellanved story. I always believed she would at least be fleshed out. And when Erikson had Chalice dash Crokus' idealised dreams and Murillio see the hollowness in his victory and the humanity in Simtal at the end of GotM, I knew he wasn't going to be the type of author to give us hollow, one note female characters.

Fid, Crokus and Apsalar - my darling family, also verrrry interesting that Fiddler returned to Seven Cities instead of Genabackis

Seeing as the title of the next book is Memories of Ice, I was immediately entrigued by the glimpses of Jaghut and Imass history we got. I LOVED Lorn and Tool in GotM so getting more on the T'lan Imass but especially on otataral was such a treat.

I was, in some ways, mentally prepared for Coltaine to die as part of him being this larger-than-life figure and inevitable tragic hero BUT I will never forgive Erikson for Kulp WHYYY

I cried through Mappo's confession to Icarium but I was already bawling at Duiker leaving the remains of the 7th behind to see the refugees to Aren. I took a ten minute break from reading after the gates closed, thinking that was the end of it. But Erikson had more in store for me and I was almost as wrecked by grief as Nil and Nether at end of chapter 21 and I set the book down for a day and half, once again foolishly thinking that was the end.

Malazan fans say "you walked the Chain of Dogs" but, tbh, it dog-walked me, I was wrecked.

PS

I love how everyone in the book and even me in this rambling review, completely brush past Heboric pulling Fener onto the mortal plain. I found otataral interesting just from Lorn's sword but this has brought me a million questions

[grumpy-liebgott]

Miscellaneous tag game

Made by the one and only @ronald-speirs <33 Thank you for the tag @panzershrike-pretz @mutantmanifesto @dontirrigateme @malarkgirlypop

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

I visited a town near this mountain in China called Siguniangshan Town once and I loved it so much. My country is pretty hot, so I enjoyed the cold air very much. The buildings there are so pretty, and the food is just amazing. Also I saw yaks and wild horses, which was really cool.

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

I'm proud of getting through 2023. It was a really stressful year for me, especially during my exams, but I pushed through. I've just received my results, and I'm happy to say that I passed with flying colours!

Favorite books?

The Invisible life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab, The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and The Hand, The Eye and The Heart by Zoe Mariott

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

My dogs - the way they practically melt when I scratch a specific spot on their bodies. The way Hollie curls up into a ball when she sleeps, and the way Mochi sleeps in the most ridiculous positions. The way they'd literally start climbing me if they want more attention. I just love them so much.

Favorite thing about your culture?

Definitely the food. Also the festivals.

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

I joined quite recently, around winter 2023. The first show I watched was band of brothers!

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

Nope, but I hope to one day

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Joe Liebgott. My favourite moment was that part when he said "woah, hershey bars!" Oh also that scene in the concentration camp. It just felt like such a raw moment for someone like Lieb who seems like a tough person most of the time.

George Luz. For him, my favourite moment was when he shouted "I HAVE NO IDEA" to Harry. Besides that, I like the part in Hagenau where he was just so done with everyone trying to take the chocolates.

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

No, but I hope to one day!

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

Well, I've never really thought about it, but if I had to say, maybe Millie Bobby Brown. I loved watching her in Enola Holmes, and Stranger Things.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

Uhh I don't really have a favourite quote, so I'm just gonna take one I like from Pinterest

"Have fun even if it's not the same kind of fun everyone else is having." - C. S. Lewis

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

Ummm, maybe that I'm currently taking a diploma in piano.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

I'm not a writer, but maybe one day in the future???

Three things that make you smile?

My sister or my dad telling the dumbest jokes to ever exist.

Visiting the zoo/aquarium

Interacting with my mutuals

Any nicknames you like?

Not really. Zowie is actually a nickname already so that, I guess?

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@blueberry-ovaries @panzershrike-pretz @ronald-speirs @blood-mocha-latte @footprintsinthesxnd @mutantmanifesto @david-sharkthot-webster @sharkboyandlavalieb

I'm probably forgetting so many but those are the ones I see a lot

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Die immediately. I have no survival skills and I'm SO unfit

Favorite movie?

1917, Enola Holmes (1 and 2), Mulan (animated and live action), Fury, Paddington (1 and 2), Black Widow

There's so many I just can't remember them.

Do you like horror movies?

No. I hate them. Whenever I'm forced to watch one, I'd spend the next few days sleeping on my sister's bed and jumping at every little thing.

Yes, I know I'm pathetic.

Tagging (no pressure!) : @flashnthunder @blueberry-ovaries @footprintsinthesxnd @georgieluz @a-gassy-antelope @b00ks1ut @sharkboyandlavalieb

[taylor-on-your-dash]

Swift Ascent - Dolly Magazine - May 2009

Original Scans; Conducted on March 14, 2009 in Sydney

As usual, this was transcribed for the interviews spreadsheet.

DOLLY's Emma V meets Taylor Swift and discovers she's the perfect antidote to trashy starlets like Paris and Lindsay, proving once and for all that nice girls really do finish first.

I'm standing in the middle of an excited crowd on a Saturday night in March when a tall blonde walks onto the stage. "I feel like we should get to know each other," she says into the microphone "I'll start - my name's Taylor, I'm class of 2008, koalas ave my new favourite animal, and I officially love Australia". The crowd roars in approval, while 19-year-old Taylor Swift grins from ear-to-ear. Watching her flit across the stage ina micro-mini green sequined dress, it's hard to believe we're just a hop, skip and jump away from Mount Kosciusko at the "CMC Rocks the Snowys" country music festival. But like the festival itself, which is free of line-dancing and boot- scooting. Taylor is a contradiction Born in the small US town of Wyomissing, Pennsylvania. Taylor surprised everyone when she developed a passion for country music "The kids at school thought it was weird that I liked country -they'd make fun of me," she confessed recently. But Miss Swift didn't let a little thing like peer pressure put her off "discovered Shania Twain, Faith [Hill] and the Dixie Chicks, and I found all these things in their songs I could relate to country music told stories that made me think."

RELUCTANT SUPERSTAR As I wait backstage for my interview with Taylor, it's obvious when she enters the room, even though I can't actually see her due to all the people trying to catch a glimpse - I haven't seen so much fuse over ane person since interviewing Jessica Alba! Despite the hangers-on and the gaggle of minders rushing around, she appears relaxed and cheerful as she records a TV interview. Watching all the craziness unfold, it's hard to believe the statuesque teen (she stands at 180cm, the same height as supermodel Gisele Bündchen) was a loner at school. "Junior high was actually sort of hard, because I got dumped by this. group of popular girls," she revealed during an interview recently. "They didn't think I was cool or pretty enough so they stopped talking to me when I'd sit down at the lunch table, they'd get up and move. Or as I was setting up my equipment to sing karaoke at the town summer festival, the kids would shout horrible things."

TAYLOR BY NUMBERS Costume changes in her live show: 1 (she ripped off her black tee and jeans to reveal a green sequined shift dress) Signed first song-writing deal at 13 Scored first number-one at 16 Number of friends on MySpace: 1,177, 650-and counting! Number of albums sold: 6,000,000+

THE TAYLOR EFFECT Finally it's my turn to chat to Miss Swift, but before I sit down, she extends her hand and says, "Hi, I'm Taylor." I'm impressed -most celebrities fail to observe basic pleasantries when you meet them. As we chat a number of things strike me: her skin is like porcelain- I have to fight the urge to ask if it's real. Her hair is her signature thing-flowing curls which are naturally honey blonde (she's never coloured her hair), and her eyes-even when the questions get more personal, her blue eyes atay fixed on me the whole time. Many industry people say it's this natural air that sets Taylor apart from other young musicians. "I didn't want to write songs about being on the road and being in hotels and missing your family and missing your friends," she says. "I'm inspired by boys and love. Those are my favourite things to write about." After Joe Jonas dumped her in a 27-second phone call, Tay didn't get angry: she simply used the experience to pen the track "Forever & Always" which was a late inclusion in her top-selling alburn, Fearless. I ask her if she worries about whether potential boyfriends will be scared off by her candid song-writing style. She pauses, before saying, "I think my motto on that is that if guys don't want me to write bad songs about them, they shouldn't do bad things". It's a little piece of Taylor wisdom to take home, along with a photo and a hug that makes me think we could all use a bit of Taylor's sunny outlook in our lives.

TAYLOR TALKS, ER, SWIFTLY ON

HER DEATHROW MEAL "A huge cheeseburger, large fnes and a chocolate milkshake." WHAT MAKES HER SMILE "When I've just figured out the perfect word to go in that gap I was missing [in a song that s when I am at my happiest." BEING IN LOVE "I don't think I've had one great love of my life. Love is interesting because you can feel like you are in love and then after, you realise that if it had been that great love, then it would have lasted." HER SECRET TO MYSPACE SUCCESS. "My success on MySpace has come from not treating my MySpace as a promotional site, like I just wanted to get a lot of fans and use them to buy my albuma. I just wrote on my MySpace [about] who I am as a person, what I like, what I don't like. I think that being real with people is the best that you can do Just be yourself if you keep having to reinvent yourself, eventually you'll run out of things to be." HER LAST BIG SPLURGE "I bought a tour bus this year-that was a big splurge! But that's like where I live, so it's sort of like investing in a new house on wheels. It has a treadmill out the back, it has a shower, a complete bathroom, wood floors, a huge bed and a chandelier over the bed. It's really fun!"

[someunholyhiddles]

The lovely @auroraesmeraldarose tagged me, so here it goes :) Last song I listened to: Home To You by Sigrid on repeat. I saw her last Friday and I'm still riding that cloud. She was so good <3

Favourite colour: As every other girl I know, I hated pink when I was little and here I am in my thirties being a full blown everything-pink-or-gtfo girly. I also like mint-colored gadgets (she said while reluctanly accepting her phone was out of pink colored versions when she bought it and had to take the green one) But I do like how the mint looks nice with pink too! hahah

Currently watching: Last thing I watched was Rurouni Kenshin (the remake) with my husband for the nostalgia (him) and I liked it. I've not been current with anything mainstream lately. I do want to watch Bridgerton though, to see what's the fuss.

Favourite flavour: Coconut & Lime!🥥

Current obsession: No brainer, Gale Dekarios. This includes BG3 as well, but the rest of the day is mixed thoughts about the Rizzard and strategies to beat specific fights. You know, balance lol

Last thing I googled: “the horribly slow murderer with an extremely inefficient weapon” Don't judge okay? I was writing a report at work and this title popped in my head from a ridiculous YT video like 14 years ago or so and I was laughing to myself.

Favourite season: Winter. I was born in a tropical country without seasons and now I live in Argentina where seasons are actually a thing. Never liked scorching weather and I suffer from low blood presure so regular fainting is a thing I don't look forward to when the time comes. I'm a winter bitch, the colder the better. But I do have to say Christmas in Summer is the worst thing to happen since I moved here.

Skill I’d like to learn: I'd love to learn how to code but I'm too lazy for that. I recently started learning Greek (thanks to @auroraesmeraldarose fics and a grudge I hold against a professor that was SUPPOSED to include Greek in the curriculum but didn't) 15 years later here I am. Better late than never I guess. #MalakaYourWayOutOfEverything

Best advice: If you can do nothing to fix it, why worry? If you can do something to fix it, why worry? - My Grandpa, who was the chillest man ever. I miss him

now I'll tag @imafuckingloser19 because she's the only one I can think of in this godforsaken website to reply to this. Aurora already did it, and Thank you for tagging me! It gives me something nice to do to escape my impending deadlines at work 😆

[orangeispice]

SWEET CHRISTMAS, THE ATSV TRAILER IS OUT

The character designs are so crisp! and gorgeous!

I'm especially hyped seeing as my three favourite spider-men are appearing in the movie (not Julia Carpenter, unfortunately but maybe next time):

Thoughts and pics under the cut:

#3: Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man 2099)

I got into reading Spider-Man 2099 really soon after getting into the Amazing Spider-Man comics, and along with Matt Murdock, this dude is the definition of "how can i be the biggest b*tch in the room at all times but still maintain my charm"

Also according to the trailer, he may or may not have a daughter? Interesting, since her name seems to be very similar to his brother in the comics (Gabriel O'Hara) or his future-son, whose he named after his brother. We'll have to see!

#2: Ben Reilly (Scarlet Spider)

Listen, I'm going to say this straight off the bat: the most recent characterizations of Ben (cough cough looking at you CHASM) have been very unsatisfactory, to say the least, so this is very cathartic for me. I don't know if he's going to be a particularly important character in the movie, but I do appreciate his appearance so far.

DRUMROLL PLEASE

#1: Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man "India")

As an Indian who has lived in Canada, a western country all her life, you have no idea how excited I was to see this character in the trailer. Western superhero movies (and Western movies in general) have a penchant for forgetting South Asians even exist. Based on the fact that there's a decent amount of merch coming out for the guy, I'm thinking that he'll either be a main character or at least have speaking roles. I read the miniseries for him, and I'd love to see it adapted to the big screen.

For some reason, his character design drew a lot of criticism? Some people said that his outfit was too stereotypical, and others said that the decision to have his hair sticking out the mask is kind of dumb.

In my opinion, this character design is absolutely on point; we never see Indian characters on Western television without them being heavily edited to match perceptions, where they'll have names like "Nicole Patel," or "John Reddy." (and I'm not saying people don't have those names, but what about people with more ethnic Indian names who don't pass for westernized ones?) and their WHOLE CHARACTER ARC will be about their PARENTS being stereotypical Indians, not the characters themselves. I digress.

I happen to love his outfit; similar to how Miles uses spray paint for his costume, Pavitr uses motifs that originated from Persia/Indian subcontinent, and wears a dhoti. Also, about the hair argument; there are plenty of other superheroes who don't leave their long hair tucked in/cropped short so that argument is just dumb.

In short, I'm really excited to see these characters on the big screen, and hoping ATSV will do them justice (which it probably will).

[citronellaww]

Peter Doherty at the Royal Albert Hall - a coronary experience.

"...because the poet said a word."

When I came back from the (utterly maddening and brilliant and “I still smile like a madwoman whenever I daydream about that night”) Libertines concert in Prague last year, I made this note to myself: “This is what poetry means to me: I sail to the unknown, writing”.

Months of writing (and daydreaming) later, the sea called for me again — and so, in an endless pursuit of the unknown, I sailed to Albion. (Editor's note number one: I had to fly, because sailing when your country's land doesn't reach the sea - yes, William Shakespeare, I am sure you and your mystic Bohemia are flabbergasted now - is a tad bit complicated, but I watched the ships underneath the plane's wings and I shed a tear as we crossed the Channel, and I listened to Carl Barât and the Jackals as we were landing and I really recommend that sort of combination, because it made me feel colours, instead of being scared of landing).

Being a PhD student in American and British literature (…), people naturally thought I made this trip to see the Coronation. And I let them think that, because to me it was a sort of "coronary" experience, seeing Peter Doherty perform at the Royal Albert Hall. (Editor's note number two: "coronary", as the arteries which protect and nurture the heart; and "coronary" as Peter's music which protects and nurtures the poet that lives in my head).

There were things that happened in between, before and after the concert (in terms of my time in Albion), but Peter’s concert was the place where written words transcended the letters they were once formed from, dreams turned into reality, sound mixed with poetry, and the unknown left me struggling to catch the railing. Frankly (Mr. Shankly), when I arrived in London and climbed the seemingly never-fucking-ending vortex of stairs at Finsbury Park, dragging my luggage behind me (kudos to the guy who suggested I take the lift, then watched me struggle upstairs, his old green Reebok shoes an imprint on my mind), I never even guessed what I would be a part of days later at Peter's concert.

Now, when it comes to the art of 'concert reportage', I believe in authenticity, so I wrote the following paragraphs while lunching in Camden the day after the concert. Beware, my writing was influenced by my overwhelming excitement, shock (to the system), but also by exhaustion (blame the stairs at Finsbury Park and the fact that night buses from Bounds Green -one zero fucking seven, I am looking at you- live a life of their own, certainly undisturbed by my need to get from point A to point B and not to be stranded at a bus stop in the middle of the night, accompanied by a lonely fox staring at my cigarette like if it was food and the Full Moon), as well as circa million other emotions, piling atop the words like rain on the ground in Camden that day of "coronation"... :

I never thought that I'd experience the whole Royal Albert Hall singing ‘Tell the King’ and ‘The Man Who Would Be King’ a day before the coronation (editor's note number three: a beloved moment I couldn’t help but describe to everyone as I came home, especially those who asked me ‘but did you see the coronation’). Never thought I'd be dancing to (my favourite) 'Ballad of Grimaldi' and have my little nerd moment over hearing Peter talk about the meaning behind 'St. Jude' (editor’s note number four: it's one of my favourite songs exactly because of the part “St. Jude may hear my pleas / See me on my bended knees”), then sing along to 'I Get Along' (editor’s note number five: I have the refrain pinned on the wall at uni), as well as other scarcely or only once before performed songs played on Peter's acoustic, let alone watch people invade the stage while he's playing 'Time for Heroes' (but ‘did you see the ((stylish)) kids in the riots?’ I guess I fucking did!)… Guys from the row behind me jumping over my head to join others, then coming back and telling us about it. One of their friends went to the loos right before the stage invasion and thus missed the whole thing, so of course they all gathered to tease him with that "we've just been a part of something legendary and you've missed the whole thing" conversation.

I cannot say that I wasn't shocked; in the end, these were the wildest (?) "dreams" coming true, and the weirdest coincidences, as only that morning I said to my friend "I’m sad I never got to experience those wild years of stage invasions" (was the God of music listening? Whoever s/he is). To be absolutely honest, the experience was so overwhelming I think that I am only now coming back to reality, though I will not lie, it is a complex process. (Editor’s note number ?six?: The gin and tonic I consumed afterwards might have been at fault, too.)

The hours prior I was reading nature poets in Kensington's bookshops (I’m a romantic and ecocritic, shoot me), then walking around sunny Hyde Park, picking fallen blossom out of my hair, randomly bumping into old classmates (hi Magda!), this peaceful prelude to clear my head for the evening… then suddenly I’m crying to Hak Baker's support set (editor’s note number ??: his speech about mental health already had me tearing up, it turned to full on weeping as he talked about his mom), then I’m overwhelmed again, with joy too, seeing/hearing Peter – and shocked (to the core) but laughing (uncontrollably) as people sweep across the hall like a tsunami, jumping over a meter (or so) high barriers, knocking security guys down - because the poet said a word. You wouldn't be able to make any of that up, ever. And obviously, I was already more than happy (and quite emotional) that I came to London, but the following day, walking around Camden, the words of this random person I talked to after the concert suddenly hit me: "welcome to London". What a great city baptism. Now, writer's endnote: I do not think that we appreciate artists like Peter enough. For what they do for us in these moments, for how they can change our lives – with words, with music, and the magic that binds it all. What I've found since I started listening to Peter (& Carl, the Libertines and then the other dozen bands that came out of it all - bless 'em) is renewed passion for what I love, be it my poetry, writing, literature, art OR sailing (ok, flying) to Albion in pursuit of my dreams (and in pursuit of the never-fucking-ending vortex of stairs at Finsbury Park). And this, this is enough - truly, it is.

Thank you, Peter, the Albion is still on course. (But hey, where are we sailing next?)

-Karla

P.S. I apologize for the number of editor’s notes, I know it fucks up the (good) flow of the text and, as an editor and writer myself, I would give Karla here an earful about how she is supposed to control her "editor persona". Now, to prove how truly sorry she is, here are some more notes:

*Everything here (including the poem) is written by me. An edited version of this post should (soon) be also on my IG, along with videos.

*The phrase ‘because the poet said a word’ was my own invention (my friend Linda will testify to that); however, the good scholar that I am, I researched it yesterday to see if, maybe, it has been already used somewhere else, and while it seems it is original, I found connections to Emily Dickinson (such as her “This was a Poet—It is That” or “Shall I Take Thee”). This connection is purely unintentional, coincidental, but warms my heart nonetheless, especially when I know that Peter likes Emily’s poetry (and I do, too), and I wanted to point that out in case you people are poetry nerds like me, or would like some poetry recommendations.

*Addition to editor’s note number two: “coronary” and “coronation” both stem from the original Latin term “corona”; “coronary”, in particular, was derived from the medieval term "curuner" which was used for the person who had the (local) responsibility of protecting the crown. Ever thought of yer own heart as the “crown”? (I do have my “Karla the Linguist” moments.)

*Editor’s note number x (missing from the text): An hour before the gig I went for a tea into one of the bars at the Royal Albert Hall (it really was a tea!), and the girls behind the bar told me how it was ‘a quiet and slow day’ and I sat there, the room empty, and watched the staff around exchange jokes. I thought of that moment later as I watched the security/staff struggling to, somehow, control the masses.

*Anyone who wants to point out to me that ol’ Will Shakespeare thought that ‘Bohemia’ was reaching the Adriatic Sea at that time should understand that I am well aware of this possibility but, as a wannabe scholar, I feel inclined to test the limits of good ol’ William.

*Special thank you to everyone who made my stay in London an absolute dream come true (especially everyone at Muswell Hill and Rosebery Road where I was staying, local foxes and buses included), and to Linda for listening to my continuous storytelling these past few weeks (and being the first person to read this...what would my writing be, if I didn't have my people to share it with?).

[cryingatships]

I heard Pit Babe has a/b/o so ofc I must watchhhh!!! I planned to wait till monday and ration out my bls but like!! How can I expected when we have a show with my favourite setting ahhhh!! I never thought I'd see a day when we'll have a/b/o in mainstream media 😭😭😭

Anyways,

vibrating with excitement as I hit play

What's up with the 'special' alpha thing? How are 'special' alphas different from normal alphas? Also, is everyone allowed to use their 'special' a/b/o senses in competitive settings? Like idk the sports boards of all countries are usually quite a bit snooty about allowing people with 'advantages' to compete with everyone else in a category... How are they allowing this v special little guy to just use his talents like that owo

Not that I mind. Show us more of you special alpha stuff, Babe. (srsly *who* is in charge of naming characters are series' in the thai bl industry. I'd like a talk with them. Just a talk, really.)

Why is guy on left wearing a red furcoat in thai heat. How is he alive. And how can I get this heat-resisting superpower.

That wasn't even a close finish. Red team's guy need to work harder. And as usual I can't remember a single frickin name :')

Babe (i do love his name) looks so done. As one would, if they had to wear a full on racing suit and drive an overheating car. He's the only person with some real heat senses in this show, I think. And ofc he also has his 'special' alpha senses... this boy is suffering o_o

An alpha who can't stand the smell of other alphas? Why has he not looked for betas or omegas? But also snoopy friends... :D

A mask and glasses... darling you don't stand out at all. He's so cute though, he reminds me of a bunny???

I have an important observation: Pavel has a lovely face

Is this a/b/o or alphaverse? How come I don't see any other orientations...

Hmmmm. I have a Theory. A normal/usual/common alpha is like the omega in a/b/o and a 'spacial' alpha is like the actual alpha in abo?? Is that it? Or are they going down the hidden identity trope? I'm down for whatever it is XD

Why is Babe smiling so creepily...

Mr Rabbit is not so innocent huh. There's something about him that makes all the alarms ring in my head. Still, his face is so 🥺

Oh these people are roood. Do y'all really need to bet about someone right in front of them (ㆆ_ㆆ)

Moving with so much cash in person (ㆆ_ㆆ)

Taking Charlie as a passanger while drifting... he wants the boy to puke or what? Even if I lose atleast winner will get puked on...

Who's behind Mr. Photographer?

Bonsai trimming? One thing learnt from My Dear Gangster Oppa is that ppl who trim bonsais are always mafia hotshots, soooo. a/b/o + mafia? <3

I'm sorry (not sorry), that man is NOT OLD. What is up with bls calling people-who-look-too-young-to-be-even-middle-aged as old??? you're not a old man, dude, stop calling yourself that, it's disrespectful to old men smh

Babe needs an interior decorator before anything else. What are those walls (ㆆ_ㆆ) Why does he have a car parked in his living area (ㆆ_ㆆ)

Just a few plugs won't make me break a sweat What an ineteresting line hehehe

Nooooo he has a bike in there too. NO 1 racer and can't afford a garage, what's the use of them racing money (ㆆ_ㆆ)

ANYWAYYY

What a trip whew. Def one of my fav airing shows rn. Let's hope they keep this up for rest of the eps, cheers!

[halfbakedspuds]

Characterisation through quotes

Taking the open tag from @illarian-rambling to do this.

Rules: write a quote for your character following your prompt

My prompt: Write a quote about your character/s favourite place.

I'm gonna do characters from all three my activr WIP's.

Children of the Stars

Adrian: Wow, what's my favourite place... let's see if I still remember this... Fifty-three Armfeldt Lane, floor five-oh-eight, Hab tower six, Callisto. It used to be a NASECA colonial armory some six hundred years ago. To us? Well, to clan Castellan it was simply Hémar, 'home'. Not a day passes that I don't wish I was back there, even if it would mean more gunfire and bloodshed daily than I've seen in the past six years.

Lyanni: This house, of course. Look, I don't fit in with the nobility, there isn't a Jezdeir left for me to return to, and regardless, I'm safer and happier here than I've been at any time during the last year and a half. Adrian can be a bit of an ass from time to time, but I'd rather argue with him out of boredom and spite than have my rights taken away because some gods-forsaken priest took offence to... my breathing, I guess, I don't know. And besides, the little shit is kinda endearing in his own thorny way.

Wilhelm: My favourite place? I... I confess that I do not know. My whole life has been spent either in places I hated or places I never want to go back to. Now that I'm free? Free to explore and live and do whatever else it is free people do with their lives, I'll let you know when I find it.

The Tempest Prince

Jason: The Archives. The Ordo Magos used to warn archivists and researchers to pack camping gear and rations whenever they went in there. My binge reading and exploration of that place is the sole reason that the Magi have set up lodgings and psychonet spell circles at regular intervals in that place. I don't know whether that's impressive or a sign that I need an intervention.

Alex: You're asking the walker of worlds what his favourite place is? You know, I've seen realities so bizarrely beautiful that they defy human language. Have you ever seen the Roses bloom under the skies of Neureich? Or the endless expanse of old mother night from the orbit of New Iernia? To you, this is all gibberish, but to me they are memories, and to pick a favourite would be a defilement thereof.

Helga: The lowveld in Southern Africa. I once went there on a trip with those two idiots and their mother. Beautiful place, so much more alive and vibrant than Allyria, yet quiet enough to get one's head on straight. To this day, I'll catch a lantern over that-a-way whenever I need to calm down or think. Just watchimg that sunrise is almost meditative.

Echoes of Shadows

Johan: The Zelver Frontier in Zuurveldt. Contrary to what people think, it's not all salt pans out west, in fact it can be downright mesmerizing when those dry hills bloom in early spring. When I still lived on the farm, we used to always take the day the flowers bloomed off. Ha! I guess once a country boy, always a country boy, hey?

Anastasia: When is not wartorn hellscape, Ulyenski forests hold certain... calming appeal to me.

Maire: Th'market square in Rodrickstown. As much as A' 'ate Angeheim an' 'ated livin' in th'Kingdom, Ye've got tae admit tha' our people know how tae do street markets right.

Hans: when I first moved to Neureich, the first thing they warned us about was that a field of Roses is a sign to stay away from an area. I thought nothing of it until I survived my first hellstorm and had watched those things in the storm tear apart my posse only for a field of Roses to spring up in the wake of that hell. Turns out Roses are a sign that an area is susceptible to hellstorms. There's something morbidly poetic and beautiful about such horrible violence being the catalyst for such beauty.

Sasha: Honestly? My old bunk back in Rostov. Never thought I'd say that but I honestly miss not having to sleep on a grimy couch in some foreign port city.

Tagging whomever wants it. Your prompt is: Write a quote about your characters best memory

[singingkestrel]

tag game (Horizon)

stolen from @foibles-fables / @finrays.

1.ride or die ship (your otp): Ereloy fics and art give me so much serotonin it's unreal.

2. most annoying ship: I don't find any ships annoying. There are some that are not for me, sure, but if people love it who am I to judge?

3. second favourite ship: Ugh, I dunno. Beta/Milu is adorable, Aloy/Ikrie is classic, Niloy can make for some very interesting reading, but I guess Hawk and Thrush makes the most sense.

4. favourite platonic relationship: It's got to be the Erend and the guys in the Vanguard. Their endless jibes and grumbling at each other are very reminiscent of some of my very best friendships. Varl and Erend's interactions are great, too, they're just so easy with one another.

5. underrated ship: I really like ships that involve minor characters - the recent rair pair roundup has been delightful for me. I long for a fic about some of the Oseram salvagers getting to know the Tenakth whose land they've invaded.

6. overrated ship: see no. 2.

7. one thing i would change in canon: Like, a lot. There were some pretty big chunks of HFW (and Burning Shores) that just didn't sit right. I don't think I can better the responses of @foibles-fables and @finrays (both of whom might be actual geniuses), but I'd settle for the returning characters (Varl, Erend, Talanah, Avad) to be treated better!

8. something canon did right: I think the Horizon series is best when it focuses on poignant storytelling over action. The way the history of the metal world slowly reveals itself at the Grave-hoard and in the Zero Dawn facility below Sunfall is hauntingly beautiful; I'd love to be able to play them for the first time again. In HFW, the quests in Dunehollow to recover POSEIDON were practically perfect, and Gildun's return in Burning Shores was the best part of the DLC by a country mile. In both these cases you get to peek into the lives of a person from the past via emotionally impactful datapoints whose recorded thoughts parallel the people you're trying to help in the present, yet it never feels too on-the-nose. Of course it helps that the people you're trying to help are some of the best realised characters in the whole game.

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: Eh. Alas, I'm not artistically talented. I just take virtual photos of stuff I like. I put a lot of effort into my machine headshot series, though. If you go to @singingkestrel and search for 'headshots compilation' (or 'hfw machines') they should all come up.

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): None of the main cast were treated 100% right in HFW. I mean, there are some things that make me genuinely angry if I think about them too much. Varl dying for no good reason, Erend being turned into a bumbling oaf, Regalla being criminally underused... ugh. UGH I SAY!

But you know who is perfect?

Morlund.

I love his optimism and his determination and his intelligence and his companionable nature. He's a nerdy mad inventor and a very strong candidate for the most overtly hopeful and kind chap in game (I mean, there is also Varl. And Gildun.) and I just adore him.

11. the character i relate to the most and why: I look at the Oseram in both HZD and HFW and see myself, my friends and my home. I adore their aesthetic with all of its chunky wood and sturdy iron, I love their down to earth attitude, their culture of hard work and social drinking and affectionate insults, their adventurous wanderer spirit and inventiveness and willingness to argue about everything. Are they flawed? Sure! Like me, they're loud and blunt and often speak without thinking, thinking they know best. Unlike me (I hope), they're too dismissive of other cultures, their lack of environmental awareness is deeply concerning, and we all know 🕯The Claim🕯 is going to be a hideous hotbed of rampant sexism - one that I will gladly watch Aloy tear to pieces like a tasmanian devil with a grudge. I don't think I can pick a single Oseram character I totally relate to, though.

But I do relate to Tom Paech. As soon as I heard those broad antipodean tones swearing about wanting to inflict actual bodily harm on Ted Faro I knew I'd found the scientist I was supposed to identify with. He was hot-blooded, as he put it, whilst also revering nature, the 'miracle of life.' And him wanting to help, despite significant reservations, and then not wanting to live on once the job was done? Exactly how I think I would have reacted. Plus as a marine biologist/ecologist (assuming I'd be in any way qualified!) I'd end up working on ARTEMIS too.

12. character(-s) i hate the most and why: There are characters you are meant to hate. It's fun to have a villain. Ted Faro, Helis, the Ceo... but the hate is both intentional and enjoyable. They're good characters. If I had to pick a character I disliked where this wasn't the aim, however, I'd have to pick... hmm. I'm not sure. Amadis seemed largely pointless and annoying in HFW though. Talanah deserved better.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: Before HFW came out, I hadn't been involved in any fandom for about a decade (maybe longer, eek!) - I was a solitary creature. Coming back made me rediscover the joy of sharing my obsessions with others. Also that it doesn't matter how small your contribution is, someone will enjoy it.

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: That's between me and my ISP.

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: I don't, really. Bit weird, considering how much of my life involves music, and how readily my brain seems to play musical association with images. But I can't think of a single one. Sorry 😕

tagging: No pressure, but I didn't tag anyone in the last one so I thought I should do it this time. @mehoymalloy @robo-dino-puppy @meep-m33p @maybirdie @nerd-artist @astralpaint @i-lavabean @pikapeppa @banukaihelpme aaaand anyone else that wants to.

[beyond-far-horizons]

Hey hon, for the ask: 2,4,18,20,27 and 29? 😊

Hey hon, sorry it took so long to answer this - it's been a difficult week.

Right FYI for folks reading this - I'm not tagging it and I'm not getting into a debate esp re the first answer given that it's an emotive topic. With that said - let's begin!

2) Thoughts on veg@nism?

I have mixed feelings that are hard to articulate esp on here and given how fraught the topic is, is why I'm hesitant to answer the question. In short, I have a huge deal of respect for veg@ns but I'd struggle to be one. I do want to try to bring in more of it when I can, mainly because I find the industrialisation of food/farming so repellent. I hate the idea of animals suffering so I try when I can to avoid meat or to get things that are well sourced. My feelings on this subject have changed and developed across the years and it's complex so I think it's always worth thinking about. For example, although I hate the thought of killing something for food, I don't necessarily think that it's wrong. What I think is wrong is lack of compassion. Animals should be treated with respect, care and not as a product without feelings. I respect Indigenous communities for example that don't sentimentalise animals but respect and care for them and the world as part of a whole with themselves as a part of it. I also admit that I love meat and some of my favourite foods are dairy. Food is one of the few pleasures in my life so I don't want to be dictated to or guilt-tripped about that especially by people who haven't thought the topic through and just want to evangelise and gatekeep others (however understandable and worthy the cause.)

Also there's the tension with the fact that veg@n products aren't always environmentally friendly - mass deforestation for mono-crops like soya (although this happens for cattle grazing too) and toxic plastic for leather. There's another Indigenous perspective (I'm thinking of certain Plant Shamans in the Amazon for example) that view plants as having their own souls and awareness and if you think that sounds weird there are scientific studies revealing the sensitivity and intelligence of plants (look into rhizome forests for example.) Movements like Animism, Post-Animism, Post-Humanism incorporate the Non and More-than Human worlds and this includes plant-life. Are we and animals more important than them? How did we decide that just because we can't see their pain? Or is that just anthropomorphising them? It's another perspective for sure.

I don't think there's any easy answers but thinking in that way is the main reason I decided to get a forest burial if I can, instead of getting cremated. If I take from the earth as part of the circle of life well I should give back and there's no better way I think than to become a tree and give back when I die (yep this post just got weird lol, but seriously this is what I'm talking about - circle of life!) This way I get to be something that I adored in life - a blossom tree - as well as a whole eco-system supporting lichen, insects, birds, people etc. And I think that is pretty awesome. But that doesn't get round the central dilemma so I'm still working on it and doing the best I can in difficult times.

4)Mythical Creature you believe/think is real?

As a Brit I have a weird hope that the Loch Ness monster is real because I loved learning about it as a kid and it's too awesome to think that a prehistoric monster still lives in the modern age. I think the folkloric White Hart (Arthurian/British symbol of Kingship/Sovereignty) is real in terms of the Universe throwing up symbols sometimes. There was a really bad omen for my country in recent years when one was shot running through Manchester and that tells you everything you need to know about our government and current state of the country even if it was allegedly for health and safety reasons.

18) Your Boba/Tea order?

I'm ashamed to say I've never tried these. Sorry but they just look weird. As a English Breakfast tea-drinking cliché I don't trust cold tea or weird balls that look like rabbit droppings. Hehe sorry. I should give it go sometime. If we are talking actual tea then what we Brits call 'Builders tea' aka black tea with a little milk and one sweetener x 3 a day. Can't function without it.

20) Favourite Disney Princess Movie?

Ooh, good question! I love the Golden Age - Little Mermaid (I pretended to be Ariel as a kid for ages, drew her, had a whole toy cave set and dolls etc), Aladdin(first movie I saw in the cinema, had posters, toys etc) and Beauty and the Beast. Special shout out to Hunchback of Notredame as well even though that's not a Princess movie, it's awesome and I love Esmeralda. However the prize has to go to B & B. I was and still am obsessed with that movie, I think I can still recite it line for line. My friend and I spent one sleepover casting our school year group as the cast in our heads and then singing (badly) all the songs on a walk. I also have Belle's colouring (can't claim I look exactly like her, can I?) and more importantly can do a mean impression of many of the characters esp the Narrator and the bookstore owner (minor characters for the win!) Did I mention I was obsessed?

27) What’s your favourite or go-to outfit?

Difficult one...I'm (again) living out of a suitcase and carrying more weight than I want to so I don't have all the clothing options I'd like rn. Ideal world my favourite piece of clothing is this little black dress I have that you can wear for the office or for a night out - it makes me look great and I used to match it with different accessories including this beautiful pink and gold belt. Both are in storage now cos mama's too chubby to fit them! At present it's my chunky white grandma cardigan over black trousers with a different colour top and jewellery - pastels or vivids like bright red.

29) Preferred pasta noodle?

The phrasing of this question upsets me - is it fave pasta or fave noodle? I know them as two different things. So I'll cheat and answer for both! Haha.

Fave pasta...I...don't really have one. I like all of them - twists, shells, linguine (my internet is playing up so I can't check all the italian names.)

Favourite noodle - love a lot of them but Naruto and I share a love for ramen so ramen noodles!!

Thanks and hope that wasn't too much information overload!

[13eyond13]

6, 10, 11, 37 and 40 for the book asks? :) Sorry for asking 5 at once, I love to read your book posting ♡

Oh don't be sorry, thank you for indulging me so much!

6. Which book was the last one you really, really loved?

Another book that I quite enjoyed reading this past year was:

Paradise Rot by Jenny Hval

Some people refer to this as "the lesbian piss book" hahaha - and I am not gonna lie, there is definitely a moderate amount of piss (and also maybe some lesbianism) to be found within! I don't even really know how to sell or explain this book except that the oppressive atmosphere and the eerie vibes and the lush and poetic writing style really drew me in a hypnotic sort of way. The way the protagonist describes her lonely awkward alienation trying to adjust to living in a new country and the sticky, visceral descriptions of the strange building she ends up living in and her relationship with her roomie just really got under my skin and fascinated me and kept me on the edge of my seat.

10. Sci-fi or fantasy? Why?

I haven't actually read a ton of either genre yet, but right now I'd probably say fantasy! I feel like sci-fi is often just a bit too thought experiment-ish and cerebral and lacking in complex interesting characters for me to really get invested in it sometimes. Definitely still open to having my mind changed about that in the future, though.

11. Classic or modern? Why?

Classics! I'm big into reading famous/influential books that I've heard a lot about and doing things like going through lists of books you have to read before you die, that sort of thing. I also find a lot of brand new books just not really up my alley most times. I kinda like to wait for the hype around something to die down and see if it stands the test of time a bit, or still remains something people are thinking and talking about regularly, before I decide to really dig into it myself.

37. How many books are actually in your bookshelf/shelves right now?

I have my books spread across two places right now so I can't give you an exact number, but I'd estimate I own somewhere between 150-250 physical books. Buying books before you read them can always be a bit of a gamble, and they're not exactly cheap brand new, so I find most of my physical books at thrift stores and second-hand bookstores, usually!

40. Name one of your favourite books from your teenage years.

THE favourite book of my teenage years by far was Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice:

I was just obsessed with this book when I was 15-16 years old, hahaha. I related so much to Louis at the time (his guilt and angst and tortured loneliness over being a vampire = my guilt and angst and tortured loneliness over being secretly gay, ofc). I eventually grew out of it a bit and started seeing it as a little sillier when I revisited it again older, but I still have a soft spot for that series and think the first few of the books in the Vampire Chronicles are certainly worth a read. I know there's stuff in them you can easily laugh or turn your nose up at or point out as being problematic and whatnot as well, but I do think they're also super creative and interesting and entertaining and quite deep reads. And still the best/only vampire lore and world-building to me as well. I just never like the rules that any other fictional vampires follow nearly as much as I do the ones that Anne Rice invented for her world!

[bookish asks]

[purplesurveys]

1804

Did you know that all the fish are dying out? That's the sad case for a lot of animals...

Would you ever wear a white tuxedo? I can't see why I'd ever refuse the opportunity. It's not my personal style, but also why not?

Do you judge a book by its cover? In a literal sense, yes. People-wise, I have my first, super topline impressions depending on how strong a person initially comes off as.

Do you like chips and dips? Yes, anything that comes with a dip I'd be all over.

Last time you went on a rollercoaster: 11 years ago in Singapore. I rode one for the first time, hated it, and have never wanted to get on another rollercoaster since.

Ever been to a pottery class? Not a class per se but I went to a factory once where we were shown the process of pottery and allowed for a handful of volunteers to make their own jars. I joined in :)

Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard? I hope it doesn't...

Who was the last person to stay over at your house? That would be Reena I think, but that's been a while.

Do you like red lipstick? Not on me.

Can you recall your country’s national anthem? Of course.

Do you believe in ghosts? Nope.

Which sweets/candy would you put into your dream pic'n'mix? I never liked candy and never had a bag of mixed candies, so I don't relly know...maybe a bunch of different gummy shapes, sour strips, and peanut butter chocolates.

If you had a boat, where would you sail in your boat? Point Nemo.

Can you rap? I have select rap verses memorized but abilty-wise I'd never say I could be a rapper haha.

Are you a light sleeper? No, I'm awful when it's situations where I have to wake up. I'm never able to do it, regardless of how many alarms I set.

When you were young, did you ever pretend to “marry” somebody? Eh, not really.

What is your favourite Disney film? Toy Story and Tangled.

Do you prefer brown or white bread? White.

Have you ever spent an entire day in bed? I have. I need those days sometimes.

Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? I'll sometimes find it hard to understand people who do it in excess, but I just keep those thoughts internally always and I also wouldn't say it's annoying.

How high’s your pain threshold? Very low, it's almost clownish.

What would you wear to a red carpet event? I see myself declining the invitation, lol.

Whose birthday is next, out of all the people you know? Hobi's :)

What kind of coat are you going to wear in the winter? We don't have winter and I don't own coats.

Did you ever go through a Goth phase? I didn't.

Do you find architecture interesting? Only to a certain extent. I like seeing photos of certain styles, like brutalism, but I wouldn't read about architecture.

When on the computer do you ever think about how it all works? Never, tbh.

How many songs are there in your iTunes library? I haven't used iTunes in over a decade.

Do you like Irish accents? I don't dislike it but I also don't particularly watch out for it.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on: My ex cursing me out in full public view at a party.

When did you last go to the park? Last July at the KLCC Park in Malaysia.

Which two animals would you breed together to make a hybrid? Dog and quokka, haha.

Do you ever forget how to walk? Doesn't really happen to me, no.

Do you own a Jesus bracelet? Nope.

How far out can you stick your tongue? Not far at all. It doesn't take long before it starts to hurt.

Do you like David Bowie? I like him and acknowledge his talent but I can't say I've really listened to him a lot.

Would you eat a live cockroach if it made you a millionaire? Tempting, but no.

Does it annoy you when you feel like people aren’t really listening? It depends on how they're like when they do so. Some people are more outright about not actually listening to what you have to say (my mom does this a lot and it drives me insane), but there are those instances where someone just isn't comfortable with eye contact so they do other stuff while hearing you out – that's okay with me.

Are you the type who usually plays it safe? For the most part.

Do you want what you can’t have? Yes, all the money in the world lol.

Ever been copied by somebody, clothing or style-wise? Not really.

Is there a point to clear nail varnish? Idk I don't know much about nail polish and things like that.

What is the latest time you’ve ever woken up? 11 AM.

Ever gotten into trouble over something you didn’t really do? Sure.

Are you currently ill? I had colds just a few days ago but it's on its way out now.

Don’t you just hate being corrected? If it's done in either a condescending or a really harsh reprimanding tone, then yeah.

Are there any really beautiful buildings close to where you live? Not really. You'll need to go all the way to Manila for the pretty architecture.

Who do you think about most? These days, it's about thinking of what to do and what new things to explore and experience once my resignation officially takes effect. I plan on spending April doing a hard reset and kind of just taking a trip here and there to rediscover myself and get myself ready for my new chapter.

I'm also thinking of what new jobs to apply for, of course.

Do you have embarrasing parents? No. My mom can be embarrassing when she occasionally turns into a Karen but otherwise at 25, embarrassing is a word I hardly use for my parents anymore lol.

How often do you use the word “poltent”? Did you mean potent? Because I'm not sure poltent is an actual word.

How’s your grandmother? They're both fantastic and healthy.

What in your opinion is the most annoying noise in the world? Kids.

Are you any good at writing? I am.

Can you speak any Spanish? Not conversational but I could make out words and phrases beyond the basic ones because Spanish colonization.

Do you like things from the ‘50s? Just Audrey Hepburn but otherwise wasn't being a woman at the time awful?

Would you rather be skeletal or curvy? I don't have a preference.

What’s your favourite type of cloud? I don't have one either.

What’s something that really matters to you? My wellbeing.

Did that pass some time? Yes, so much so I took this over 3 days lol. Thanks it was fun!