#never trust ridley

[bringcal]

she got her E and she and dirk will clink their vials like shotglasses

[spacechild85]

IDK what this is other than just being an edit featuring some ccs of mine- but I'm still pretty proud of it so I'll post it here too

[lonelypep]

every smash bros character ranked by how good of a cook i think they’d be.

82: piranha plant

eating this dish will kill you instantly. turns out he spit some poison in there while no one was looking. and yeah, that sucks, but if you even accepted a meal from this guy i think you have bigger problems

81: ridley.

let’s be real, if you let this guy into the kitchen, you made a huge mistake. it’s like john mulaney’s horse in a hospital sketch: you never know what he’s gonna do next. you’re too focused on getting him out.

80: king k rool.

king k rool is many things. a king, a pirate, a scientist. but he is not a cook. he’ll try, but he has literally no clue what he’s even doing in the kitchen.

79: yoshi

yoshi will give you a dish and you’ll be like “what the fuck is this” and he’ll talk about how it was made from the finest newborns of his home planet. i’m deciding to ignore it but it’s really nagging at me.

78: sonic

sonic shouldn’t be on this list. because he wouldn’t make you any food. he’ll go to the local sonic and get a burger in about 3 minutes. it sucks. disqualified.

77: pac man

what can i say. it tastes like literal plastic. i don’t even wanna know how he made it. i’ll give it back to him but the nice thing about pac man is he wouldn’t give a shit.

76: bowser jr.

fuck this guy. he rage quit at making a grilled cheese. now there’s a literal canonball in the stove. now no one else can use it!! this is what happens when you spoil kids.

75: pikachu/pichu

these two are in the same category since they’d make the same thing. they’d get store bought french fries and fry them with lighting outside. it’s consistent, it works, just not really filling. and they don’t know how to make anything else.

74. wario

don’t get me wrong: he knows what he’s doing. he’s the burger king of smash. he’s this low because the burger is the most unhealthy shit you’ll ever have. eating it gave you chronic diarrhea, gastrointestinal issues, and permanently damaged your taste buds. but god fucking damn was it a good burger.

73. hero

he gave you a single piece of bread with butter on it. it’s not bad but…really dude?

72: olimar

he didn’t make you a bad meal, in fact it was one of the best here. but that’s because he didn’t make you something. it was the pikmin and he’s trying to pass it off as his own and the pikmin don’t know because they don’t speak english. 0/10: not fucking cool dude.

71: kazuya

honestly? i don’t trust this guy. i was too intimidated to even ask his name. from what i can gather no one even invited him to the party he just showed up and made a mediocre meal. what’s weird: someone came into the kitchen and claimed this guy killed their whole family. we never saw that guy again. needless to say, kazuya wasn’t invited to the afterparty.

70: link (botw)

don’t get me wrong here, link is a five star chef. he’s just really unsanitary. apparently he cut the meat and vegetables with the same sword he killed calamity ganon with. i don’t wanna taste that guy!! have you seen him?? not to mention he pulled the meal out of his pants. i don’t even know how it fit in there.

69: inkling

she made a pancake and i thought it was good! but i absolutely can’t condone this. inkling left so much fucking weird slime and shit all over my house. and got really competitive when she heard i was getting meals from everyone else. i hope they’re all ok.

68: ROB

it was so processed. the most processed food i’ve ever had in my entire life. it’s not his fault, rob is a great guy. but this tasted like literally nothing.

67: ice climbers

when they told me they were making dessert, i trusted them. but i let someone else taste test first. my best friend was sent to the hospital because of tongue frostbite. didn’t even know that was a thing. i made the ice climbers pay for it (they’re fucking loaded)

66: villager

he made isabelle do it. and she made something great! but i’m not giving this cretin credit for having the money to afford a five star chef. you don’t deserve it because you sold a shit ton of tarantulas villager!!

65: lucario.

dude got really mad and destroyed my kitchen. he’s REALLY lucky he got the burger PERFECTLY cooked.

64: male byleth.

like this dude knows how to cook. he can barely make chicken nuggets. he has to eat in the school cafeteria simply because he never learned how to cook a simple meal. but he’s a really nice guy. total himbo. love him.

63: ryu

i asked this guy what he likes to eat. big mistake. he then went on to say that his training regiment doesn’t condone copious indulgence (his words) and he lives off of nothing but protein shakes. you do you i guess.

62-61: fox/falco

these two went into the kitchen and came out with weird alien food. i didn’t eat it but everyone else seemed to enjoy it

60: greninja

when he first came out i was so excited. he came out with the most finely sliced food i had ever seen in my entire life. but it was soooo watered down. everything tasted like celery. how do you make crab taste like celery?? how??!

59-58: simon/richter

these guys both made the same exact fish recipe, came out at the same time, and proceeded to fight each other. i didn’t get to try any 😭

57-49: every fire emblem character.

genuinely, i can’t tell these guys apart. or their food choices. honestly, my bad. i’m sure they’re good. but where do i even start.

48: sheik

she doesn’t know how to cook. she kidnapped someone else. normally i wouldn’t put someone like that this high but a. i have gender envy b. it’s for the greater good (or so she said)

47: cloud

dude made a great sandwich but he kept screaming random noises while he did. personally, i’m just glad he managed not to destroy the kitchen. that’s a first here.

46: captain falcon

he promised he’d pick up some pizza but got into a car crash on the way there. eventually he got there after the car crash was all sorted out, but got into ANOTHER on the way back. i’m honestly kind of impressed

45: steve

steve could cook an absolutely fucking KILLER meal. he’ll even offer to do it for free. but you shouldn’t let him under any circumstances. he took 13 hours gathering materials and while the wait was, arguably, worth it, i never want to experience it again. (side note: we asked captain falcon to get some pizza while waiting which led to the aforementioned entry)

44: sora

sora doesn’t know how to cook but he’s by far the biggest name at this party. everyone fucking loves him. he’s friends with GOOFY. this dude hangs out with GOOFY. this guys has hung out with GOOFY AND jack sparrow. bad food but i could listen to this guy talk for hours about his story. i’m sure i’ll understand it all.

43-40: pokémon trainer

this guys organization is fucking atrocious. if he can actually get his shit together he’ll cook up some nice vegetarian meals, but that’s a big if.

HONORABLE MENTION: sans mii gunner

sans undertale is a world renowned, famous chef. his recipes are simple, but cooked with such love, care, and finess it turns a simple cheeseburger into a masterpiece. sans undertale would easily top this list. sans mii gunner is not sans undertale. he bought the real sans’ cookbook and thinks he’s some kind of cooking genius. and sure he’s got the recipes but none of the skill to actually make it.

39-38: samus/zero suit samus

hooray! we’re out of bad cook options now. samus is a great cook, but she’s so used to her alien delicacies she doesn’t know how to cook on earth anymore. shame, but i trust her to produce something edible.

37: shulk

he is really good at the grill. unfortunately, he refused to put a shirt on and made everyone a little uncomfy. that being said, he showed me the beach boys and i had never listened to them before. so he gets points.

36-35: pit/dark pit

these guys don’t know how to cook but the flew into the sky and killed some mythical bird for everyone to eat. i couldn’t have any, i’m pescatarian, but everyone else loved it.

34: bayonnetta

she opened a portal to a waffle house and a bunch of demons came flying out. she didn’t make anything, but honestly, absolutely legendary experience that was.

33: duck hunt

you’d think a dog wouldn’t bring anything meaningful. this would be false. that is the freshest duck i’ve ever seen in my entire life. (didn’t eat it: pescatarian)

32: king dedede

he made his legendary homemade mashed potatoes. everyone loved them. so creamy… weirdly perfect. too bad i hate the monarchy. sorry bud.

31: meta knight

meta knight is a great cook and should be higher. but i don’t want him to be. because he’s so fucking pretentious. he sliced all the food in front of everyone and wouldn’t shut up about radiohead. hate this guy.

30-29: daisy/peach

these two put all their private chefs together to make something for everyone. great catering, great food, but they didn’t technically make it. love them.

28: mewtwo

as if mewtwo wouldn’t just read someone’s mind and cook something. but it’s not mewtwo’s food…so…. sorry dude you cheated.

27: dark samus

she really surprised me here. she cooked up the most exquisite alien delicacies i’ve ever tasted in my entire life. should be higher. but unfortunately, i had to get a space parasite removed from my system by regular samus. honestly though… it was worth it.

26: ganon

he was rude to everyone about his cooking skills and wouldn’t stop bragging. asshole am i right? but surprised everyone by grilling his god damn heart out. he’s a bad try hard but like go off i guess.

25: isabelle

she’s trying her absolute fucking best and she deserves the world here. amazing cook, we need to save her from the island.

24: little mac

dude went so hard. brought new york pizza ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK. ok, not literally, but he made a damn good pizza

23: snake

full disclosure: snake doesn’t know how to cook. also no one knows he’s an agent. but he has to cook to blend in so you BEST BELIEVE this man is going to COOK like his life depends on it.

22-20: young link, ness, and lucas

all these guys are incredibly mature for their age. surprised everyone at this party. i had deep and philosophical conversations with all of them about appreciating life. i fucking cried. oh and they made everyone sandwiches, and even took my pescatarianism into account.

19: rosalina

she brought weird space ice cream and i felt my mind expanding as i ate it. love her.

18: mr game and watch

he feels like everyone’s dad! and he’s one of those cooks who cooks in front of everyone. dude flung his meals onto everyone’s plates expertly. love him.

17: joker

originally much lower on this list, joker showed up at my house and attempted to make a grilled cheese and made the worst thing i’ve ever taste. then he said something about gru from despicable me and stood in the corner for an hour. originally i had him towards the bottom but then he doordashed five gigantic burgers, ate all of them in one sitting, and then made me an expensive curry that tasted fantastic. dude went hard.

it was at this point i realized i made a mistake with the numbers. like hell if i’m going to fix the whole thing.

22: zelda

she made some weird food but damn was it pretty to look at! crystals, magic power, i mean good vibes all around here.

21-20: pyra and mythra

i feel like i should put them here since they’re confirmed to be good cooks in the game. but between you and me, i didn’t invite them. i’d consider some entries before this to be better cooks but at this point i’ve been working on this list for 8 hours i do not wanna go back and fix things please i mean this whole list is a joke no one should take this seriously

19: banjo and kazooie

these guys can fucking cook. they’ve been living on their own for a while so it makes sense but it still surprises me. they made a really big stew and even brought free puzzle games.

18: wolf

GRILL MASTER. dude knows what he’s doing on that thing. i’ve never seen better spatula work. holy shit.

17: kirby

kirby came in with some weird blonde hair and made some FANTASTIC ribs (that i didn’t have bc i’m pescatarian). weirdly, gordon ramsey went missing the same day…. i’m sure it means nothing.

16: mario

dude made some absolutely spectacular spaghetti. but he kept talking about how great he is and it really off put some people. kinda weird dude.

15: dr mario. dude brought 50 apples to the potluck. guess he doesn’t wanna see anyone in the office. and he didn’t because we ate them all. take that.

14: min min

she brought some soup dumplings which a lot of people hadn’t had! love her. literally fantastic. she had a whole arm for cooking. that’s what we call efficient.

13: ken

he’s kenough. he is amazing at barbecue. he can cook things with his hands, juggle, also he’s just a fun presence. (i made him make fake meat burgers for me)

12: jigglypuff

she showed up with so many pastries. like so many. not only that, but they were decorative!! she put so much work into that. love her.

11: luigi

he tried to make spaghetti like his brother but a literal fucking meteor slammed into his pot and cracked it. tough luck. then he offered to pay and i refused, but went out and got me some really expensive spaghetti anyways! he’s such a nice guy!! shouldn’t be this high… but i love this guy so much. he’s trying his hardest and i respect that.

10: toon link

toon link didn’t actually make anything. but his mom came and made everyone a salad. and honestly! his mom is some great company. she had so many interesting stories about his childhood. honestly she added so much to the function

9: terry

he is the BARBECUE MASTER!!!! literally what the hell how is he so good! everyone at the party kinda stereotyped him but he’s really really progressive with his views which you wouldn’t think for a big barbecue muscle guy in a baseball cap but everyone loved this guy.

8: mega man

the MASTER CHEF!! literally. he was on master chef. he uses thin round blades to slice vegetables, heats things perfectly, has an instance knowledge of spices, just damn. this guy knows what he’s doing.

7-6: bowser and donkey kong

common misconception: everyone thinks these two would have no idea how to cook. but these are FAMILY GUYS HERE!! they’re providing for absolutely gigantic families, these fuckers know how to make a sandwich and they did. initially they started off making separate sandwiches but they have a really similar recipe and decided to work together. and i really respect that. also turns out peach is just bowser’s kids’ babysitter.

5: palutena.

everyone expected her to show up with some absolutely mystical food. naturally, she showed up with the literal ambrosia of the gods. holy shit. unfortunately, she didn’t put as much effort into it as she could’ve.

4: sephiroth.

ok this guy didn’t really cook anything amazing. but his sheer fucking commitment to the vibe is literally legendary. this man has a long as sword he cut 10 veggies at a time with. he heat them with magic world ending fire. when he was done in the kitchen he surrounded himself with fire and gazed menacingly at me. his sheer commitment to the edge lord aesthetic is truly exemplary.

3: incineroar.

THE GRILLING GOAT!! this man is a grill master. he was prepared to grill ANYTHING. and i mean anything. fish, veggies, meat, fucking grilled cheese. love this guy.

2: wii fit trainer

she made the most well balanced and healthy salad i’ve ever had. and she made it taste extraordinary. she can be a little intense about fitness but i’ve never had a healthier meal in my life. it immediately lowered my extremely high cholesterol.

1. diddy kong

he’s about ten. he made you a pb&j. he had homework to do, but he made you a pb&j. he didn’t have to. he wasn’t asked to. he just wanted to make you a pb&j. he could’ve done anything else but he made you a pb&j. what heartless monster wouldn’t accept it.

[mommymothma]

"Do we need more women in Star Wars? No we don't, women don't even watch Stars Wars. They don't care about it. It's a man's little thing."

The absolute disgust I felt hearing her say those words. I don't know where her insecurity is coming from, but it's not welcome here.

The women of Star Wars, including women fans, are so, so incredible. I am thankful everyday for this platform, and other social media because it allows me to partake in Star Wars.

It's a dishonor to Carrie Fisher, who portrayed a badass Rebellion leader princess, who lost her entire planet, and still persevered. Princess Leia, who has been teaching girls how to be brave and independent.

It's a dishonor to Natalie Portman, who portrayed a cunning, political queen who wasn't afraid to pursue her own happiness. Padmè Amidala, who has been teaching girls to never stop caring about the things you love.

It's a dishonor to Ashley Eckstein and Rosario Dawson, who have portrayed a fearless, insightful padawan who has set aside the pressures of society and followed her instincts. Ahsoka Tano, who has been teaching girls to trust your gut.

It's a dishonor to Daisy Ridley, who portrayed a terrified but adamant orphan who rose to the challenge and saved the world. Rey Skywalker, who has been teaching girls that no matter who you are, there is a place for you here.

a place for you in Star Wars

[wondereads]

An Extended List of Retellings

It was recently Tell a Fairy Tale Day (02/26), so here's an updated and expanded list of retellings for all fairy tale- and folklore-obsessed readers!

*Key at the end of the post*

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert (Fairy Tale-esque)

Alice's grandmother is known for her collection of stories that has spawned a cult-like following, spawning plenty of fanatics to follow Alice and her mother around. But this new group is strange, weirder than the rest, and when they take Alice's mother, she must literally dive into the world of her grandmother's stories to save her. (YA, low fantasy)

Damsel by Elana K. Arnold (Fairy Tale-esque)

Ama remembers nothing. All she knows is that she was saved by Prince Emory from a vicious dragon. It seems she will be taken care of for the rest of her life as a pampered princess, but as she learns more about her new home, the more darkness seems to well up around the edges. *read trigger warnings* (NA, high fantasy)

The Frog Princess by E. D. Baker (The Frog Prince)

Princess Emeralda is about to be caught in an unfortunate engagement, but she finds an escape in a talking frog. A frog who claims he is a prince, a perfect excuse to escape a betrothal. What she doesn't expect is being turned into a frog herself with no clue how to change both of them back. (MG, high fantasy)

The Wide-Awake Princess by E. D. Baker (Sleeping Beauty)

Princess Gwen was tragically cursed to fall into a magical sleep, so when her younger sister, Annie, is born, she is given only one christening gift—the ability to resist any magic. When the curse comes true and Gwen falls asleep, Annie sets out to find her sister's true love and wake the kingdom again. (MG, high fantasy)

Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson (Peter Pan)

From an orphanage in London, Peter and his mysterious friend, Molly, arrive at a faraway island. There, pirates and adventures abound, but nothing is as exciting as a precious new substance that can cure wounds, give flight, and keep people young forever. (MG, low fantasy)

The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor (Alice in Wonderland)

When Wonderland, land of dreams and imagination, undergoes a bloody coup, Princess Alyss Heart is forced to flee to the real world, taking on the name Alice Liddel. Years later, she is needed to win Wonderland back, but is it time for Alyss' imagination to be saved? (YA, low fantasy)

The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley (multiple)

Sabrina and Daphne Grimm have bounced from foster home to foster home before their formerly-unknown grandmother takes them in. She seems like everything two children could want, but Sabrina doesn't trust her. Not only does she serve outlandish foods and have an outrageous amount of locks on her house, but she seems to believe their town is full of fairy tale characters, all with mysteries that need solving. (MG, magical realism)

The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani (multiple)

Agatha and Sophie are best friends, but they couldn't be more different. Agatha is ugly and unpleasant and Sophie is pretty and kind, so when they're taken to the School for Good and Evil, it seems obvious who's Good and who's Evil. However, when the girl's places are switched, they must put things to rights. (MG/YA, high fantasy)

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo (The Little Mermaid)

Lira is a vicious siren, known for her collection of prince's hearts. However, a serious mistake of hers leads the Sea Queen to transform her into a human, trapped until she can bring her the heart of Prince Elian. Lira is a practiced killer, but Elian is a trained hunter, and sirens are his prey of choice. (YA, high fantasy)

The Land of Stories by Chris Colfer (multiple)

Alex and Conner have had it rough since their father's death, but they find comfort in their grandmother's book of stories. When she leaves it to them on their birthday, they never expected for it to be a portal to another world. This world is full of all the fairy tales they know and love, but they're trapped there, and ways back are hard to come by. (MG, low fantasy)

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn (King Arthur)

In an attempt to move on after her mother's death, Bree attends an early college program. However, she starts to see things, things her friends can't, and she soon discovers a secret society on campus made up of the descendants of King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable. However, this group, the Legendborn, may be tied to Bree more than she knows. (YA, magical realism)

Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson (Caribbean and Yoruba Mythology)

In a futuristic world modeled off of Afro-Caribbean history and mythology, criminals are sent to the world of New Half-Way Tree. No child has been sent before until Tan-Tan is taken by her father, who is on the run from the law. When Tan-Tan's experience takes a turn for the worse, she finds strength the figure of the Robber Queen from myth. *read trigger warnings* (adult, science fiction/fantasy)

Splintered by A. G. Howard (Alice in Wonderland)

Alyssa is a descendant of the famous Alice Liddel, but it's not all roses and tea parties. Madness runs in the family, and Alyssa has heard bugs and flowers speak to her since she was young. It's only when she's a teenager that she learns it's a curse, and the only way to free her family from it is to return to Wonderland and put the original Alice's mistakes to rights.

Stain by A. G. Howard (very loosely The Princess and the Pea)

Princess Lyra is destined to bring her kingdom, one of perpetual day, and their rival, a kingdom of perpetual night, together. However, when her wicked aunt steals her identity and casts her out, she loses her memories and is taken in by a witch from an enchanted forest. There, she lives in disguise, known as a young boy named Stain. (YA, fantasy romance)

Enchanted by Alethea Kontis (The Frog Prince)

Sunday is the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, a powerfully magic number. Anything Sunday writes comes true, so she takes care to only write what has already happened. She finds someone to share those stories with in a talking frog near her home. Little does she know that the frog is an enchanted prince; specifically, the prince responsible for the death of her older brother.

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (Cinderella)

Ella was given a gift at her birth from a fairy, but it's done nothing but make her life miserable. Forced to obey every direct order, Ella loathes her gift of obedience, especially when she is forced to deal with a demanding father and a horrible stepfamily. Ella takes it upon herself to track down the fairy who 'blessed' her with some help from her family's cook, Mandy, and the charming Prince Char. (MG, high fantasy)

Fairest by Gail Carson Levine (Snow White)

Aza is by no means the fairest of them all, but she has the unique gift to imitate others and throw her voice. In the kingdom of Ayortha, which values song above all else, it's an invaluable trait. One the new queen of Ayortha, Queen Ivi, plans to capitalize upon. Ivi lacks singing talent, so she hires Aza to help her deceive the kingdom, but how long can they keep up the charade? (MG, high fantasy)

The Princess Tales by Gail Carson Levine (multiple)

Six stories: The Fairy's Mistake (Diamonds and Toads), The Princess Test (The Princess and the Pea), Princess Sonora and the Long Sleep (Sleeping Beauty), Cinderellis and the Glass Hill (Cinderella), For Biddle's Sake (Rapunzel), and The Fairy's Return (The Golden Goose) (MG, high fantasy)

Ash by Malinda Lo (Cinderella)

Abused by her horrible stepmother, Ash finds solace in stories. Those stories seem to come to life when she encounters a faerie, and her wishes of being stolen away may finally be granted. However, Ash begins to doubt that course when she meets the king's huntress and she finds herself torn between two worlds. (YA, fantasy romance)

Unhooked by Lisa Maxwell (Peter Pan)

Gwendolyn has always thought her mother was crazy for thinking monsters were chasing them, but then she and her best friend are kidnapped. The place they're taken to, Neverland, is full of deception, and Gwen must find out how to get them both home and whole again. (YA, low fantasy)

Cinder by Marissa Meyer (Cinderella)

Cinder is a cyborg in a futuristic world ravaged by sickness and prejudice, but she scrapes by as a mechanic. One day, during a job for no one other than the prince, she discovers information that could tip the balance between the people of earth and the dreaded Lunars. (YA, science fiction)

The Squire's Tales by Gerald Morris (King Arthur)

A series retelling the tales of the Roundtable, beginning with Terence, an orphan who becomes squire to the famous Sir Gawain. Together, they must foil a plot against King Arthur as Terence discovers his own abilities. (MG/YA, historical fantasy)

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (Beauty and the Beast)

Agnieszka is forfeited by her village to the wizard known as the Dragon in exchange for his protection against the horrible Wood. She finds herself more of an apprentice than a servant, but the Wood is stirring, and it's up to her and the Dragon to drive it back. (NA, high fantasy)

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Rumpelstiltskin)

Miryam has brought her family's moneylending business back from the brink of bankruptcy. All is going well until an ill-timed boast on the roads lures the attention of the king of the Staryk, fae-like creatures made of winter and obsessed with gold. But there's a bigger threat that threatens to consume humans and Staryk alike. (NA, high fantasy)

Queen of Hearts by Colleen Oakes (Alice in Wonderland)

Dinah has trained her whole life to become queen of Wonderland alongside her father, finally earning his love. However, out of the blue, her father brings home her half-sister, his illegitimate daughter. With conspiracies brewing, Dinah must hold onto her throne now that another candidate has entered the picture. (YA, high fantasy)

The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh (Shim Cheong)

As their home is ravaged by storms and floods, the people of Mina's village sacrifice a young girl every year, hoping she may be the "true bride" of the sea god. One year, the offered girl is Shim Cheong, Mina's older brother, Joon's, beloved. In an effort to save her, Mina throws herself into the sea to find a fantastical world under the surface. (YA, historical fantasy)

Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige (The Wizard of Oz)

Amy is a friendless teenager from modern-day Kansas, so a surprise trip to the land of Oz would seem like a blessing. But this version of Oz is twisted, dark, and ruled by none other than the other girl from Kansas, Dorothy herself. (YA, low fantasy)

The Shadow Queen by C. J. Redwine (Snow White)

Lorelai is the crown princess, but she's also a fugitive. Ever since her kingdom was taken by a wicked queen, she and her brother have been forced to run for their lives. She and the queen share one quality, magic, but if Lorelai ever uses it, she'll be guiding the queen straight to her. (YA, high fantasy)

The Blood Spell by C. J. Redwine (Cinderella)

Blue is an aspiring alchemist, hoping to turn other metals into gold to help the people of her city. However, when her father tragically dies and a cruel woman seizes everything Blue knows, she has to turn to her childhood rival, Prince Kellan. Kellan has his own issues, such as a growing pressure to marry, but the worst is the disappearances that seem to rise in number every day. (YA, high fantasy)

Half Upon a Time by James Riley (multiple)

Jack the 13th is supposed to be a hero, save a princess. He thinks that isn't likely to happen until a 'princess' from our world literally falls into his arms. Soon, Jack realizes that this girl's grandmother can be none other than the famous Snow White, but she's been kidnapped, and it's up to Jack and the 'princess', Meg, to save her. (MG, low fantasy)

The Evil Queen by Gena Showalter (Snow White)

Everly lives the life of a normal teenager until she discovers she's not of this world. In this other land of magic, she's a part of a prophecy, one that mirrors the classic tale of Snow White. That would all be great if she weren't destined to become the story's villain, the Evil Queen. (YA, low fantasy)

Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan (Chang'e)

Xingyin's mother, Chang'e has been imprisoned on the moon for years for stealing the Celestial Emperor's elixir of immortality. When Xingyin's magic flares and she is in danger of being discovered, she must flee the moon. She ends up in the Celestial Kingdom, where she works her way up, hoping to find a way to free her mother. (NA, high fantasy)

Breadcrumbs by Anne Ursu (The Snow Queen)

The Snow Queen made a mirror meant to show people the worst in the world, and when it shatters, a shard gets stuck in the eye of Hazel's best friend Jack. When the Snow Queen whisks him away, Hazel must travel through a treacherous, wintery forest to save him. (MG, low fantasy)

Malice by Heather Walter (Sleeping Beauty)

Alyce is the infamous Dark Grace, whose powers bring curses and misfortune, unlike her sisters, who can conjure gifts and beauty. She dreams of escaping the prejudiced Kingdom of Briar, but her growing powers and an involvement with the royal family could keep her trapped forever. (adult, fantasy romance)

KEY

MG: middle grade, ages 8-12

YA: young adult, ages 13-18

NA: new adult, ages 18-early twenties

adult: ages 18 and up

high fantasy: fantasy stories set entirely within another world

low fantasy: fantasy stories split between our world and another

magical realism: fantasy stories set in our world, often interwoven with aspects of modern life (not the Latin American literary movement!)

historical fantasy: fantasy stories set in a historical setting of our world

fantasy romance: fantasy stories focused on romantic plotlines instead of other forms of plot

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Results of Smash Bros Sexyman Tournament: Round 1!

Mario v. DK: Mario victory! (vanilla iss a great flavor too!)

Link v. Samus: Samus victory! (don't worry, they're still in love and still smooch.)

Dark Samus v. Yoshi: Dark Samus victory! (what did you expect on the gay and want to be stepped on be evil women site?)

Fox McCloud v. Luigi: Luigi Victory! (pathetic men enjoyerss defeat furries, more at eleven)

Captain Falcon v. Princess Peach: Princess Peach victory! (Yeah, Falcon was too conventionally attractive to win.)

Princess Daisy v. Bowser: Princess Daisy victory! (I'm kinda disappointed in the monster fuckers)

Sheik v. Princess Zelda: Sheik victory! (never trust anyone, not even yourself)

Dr. Mario v. Falco Lombardi: Falco victory! (and the furries finally pull through!)

Marth v. Lucina: Lucina victory! (And Girl Marth wins!)

Ganondorf v. Mewtwo: Ganondorf victory! (you're falling behind furries)

Roy v. Chrom: Chrom victory! (Melee fans, I am so disappointed in you girlies.)

Mr. Game and Watch v. Meta Knight: Meta Knight victory! (coughing baby v. nuclear bomb)

Zero Suit Samus v. Wario: Zero Suit Samus victory! (It occurs to me that maybe my roster building skills are imbalanced....)

Solid Snake v. Ike: Snake victory! (Well I suppose Snake is more pathetic than Ike...)

Sonic v. King Dedede: King Dedede victory! (Dededivorce here we come!)

Olimar v. Lucario: Lucario victory! (Theeeeerrrrre the furries are.)

R.O.B. v. Wolf O'Donnell: Wolf victory! (Poor robo-fuckers.)

Wii Fit Trainer v. Princess Rosalina: Rosalina victory! (I don't have a joke for this one)

Little Mac v. Greninja: Little Mac victory! (Mac-Mains are here to win, baby!)

Robin v. Robyn: Robyn victory! (Big fan of women)

Palutena v. Pac-Man: Palutena victory! (Another nuclear bomb v. coughing baby.)

Shulk v. Ryu: Shulk victory! (Shulk nation rise up!)

Ken v. Cloud: Cloud victory! (sad trauma boi beats sad rich boi)

Corrin v. Corrine: Corrine victory! (Big fan of women 2)

Bayonetta v. Terry Bogard: Bayonetta victory! (Yeah... this one wasn't remotely fair.)

Ridley v. Simon: Ridley victory! (Thhhheeeerrrreeee the Monster Fuckers are)

Richter v. King K Rool: Richter victory! (Aaaannnnd there they go.)

Isabelle v. Incineroar: Isabelle Victory! (Devour him alive Izzy.)

Piranha Plant v. Joker: Joker victory! (I'm kinda mad the plant lost, woulda been funnier if he'd won.)

Hero v. Banjo: Banjo victory! (Can't tell if this is the meme lords or furries)

Byleth v. Bealyn: Bealyn victory! (big fan of women 3)

Sephiroth v. Kazuya: Sephiroth victory! ("I will never be a memory.")

And that's Round One! Round Two coming soon!

[eagna-eilis]

Ach-To and Irish Archaeology

The sequels were my entry into Star Wars and I never would have gone to see The Force Awakens if I wasn't an archaeology nerd.

During the production of Episode VII, a decent number of people with an interest in our archaeological heritage here in Ireland were quite worried about the impact of filming on one of our only two UNESCO World Heritage Sites, the island known as Skellig Michael down off the coast of Kerry.

I went to the film to see if any potential damage was worth it, or if they'd do something unspeakably stupid with it in-universe. I wanted to see if it was respected.

And holy hell I was NOT disappointed. I think I walked out of TFA sniffling to myself about how beautiful the Skellig looked and how it seemed like its use as a location was not just respectful but heavily inspired by its real history.

See, Skellig Michael was a monastic hermitage established at a point when Christianity was so new that the man who ordered its founding sometime in the first century CE was himself ordained by the Apostle Paul. The fellah from the Bible who harassed all and sundry with his letters, THAT Apostle Paul. This is how old a Christian site the Skellig is. It predates St. Patrick by at the very least two hundred years.

The steps we watch Rey climb were originally cut NEARLY TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO. They have been reworked and repaired many many times since, of course. Still, the path the camera follows Daisy Ridley up is as much an ancient path built by the founders of a faith in real life as it is in the movies.

A hermitage was a place where monks went to live lives of solitude and asceticism so as better to achieve wisdom. The practice is common to many of the major world religions, including the myriad East Asian faiths which inspired the fictional Jedi.

It is said that the hermitage and monastery were originally built with the purpose of housing mystical texts belonging to the Essanes, one of the sects of Second Temple Judaism which influenced some of the doctrines of Christianity. They also, according to what I have read, characterised good and evil as 'light' and 'darkness' and were celibate.

As such, the use of the island in TFA and TLJ does not merely respect Skellig Michael's history, it honours it. It is framed as somewhere ancient and sacred, which it is. It is framed as a place where a mystic goes to live on his own surrounded by nature that is at once punishing and sublime, which of course it was. It shown to be a place established to protect texts written at the establishment of a faith, which it may well have been.

This level of genuine respect for my cultural heritage by Rian Johnson in particular is astonishing. I don't think anyone from outside the US ever really trusts Americans not to treat our built history like it's Disneyland. Much of the incorporation of the Skellig's real past into a fictional galactic history occurs in TLJ, which is why I'm giving Rian so much credit.

It's Luke's death scene which makes the honouring of Irish archaeological history most apparent though.

Johnson takes the archaeological iconography back a further three thousand years for his final tribute to my culture's beautiful historical temples. This time, he incorporates neolithic passage tomb imagery, specifically that of Newgrange, which is up the country from the Skellig.

I think if you understand what the image represents then it makes a deeply emotional scene even more resonant.

The scene I'm referring to is Luke's death.

As he looks to the horizon, to the suns, we view him from the interior of the First Jedi Temple. The sunset aligns with the passageway into the ancient sanctuary, illuminating it as he becomes one with the Force.

As for Newgrange, every year during the Winter Solstice it aligns with the sunrise. The coldest, darkest, wettest, most miserable time of the year on a North Atlantic island where it is often cold, wet, and miserable even in the summer. And the sun comes up even then, and on a cloudless morning a beam of sunlight travels down the corridor and illuminates the chamber inside the mound.

You guys can see this, right? The similarity of the images? The line of light on the floor?

Luke's death scene is beautiful but I think it's a thousand times more moving with this visual context. Luke's sequel arc isn't merely populated by a lore and iconography that honour the place where the end of his story was filmed, I think that incorporation of that history and mythology honours Luke.

We don't know for sure what the Neolithic people believed, religion-wise. We know next to nothing about their rituals. We know that there were ashes laid to rest at Newgrange. There is some speculation that the idea was that the sun coming into the place that kept those ashes brought the spirits of those deceased people over to the other side.

It's also almost impossible not to interpret the sunlight coming into Newgrange as an extraordinary expression of hope. If you know this climate, at this latitude, you know how horrible the winter is. We don't even have the benefit of crispy-snowwy sunlit days. It's grey and it's dark and it's often wet. And every single year the earth tilts back and the days get long again.

The cycle ends and begins again. Death and rebirth. And hope, like the sun, which though unseen will always return. And so we make it through the winter, and through the night.

As it transpired the worries about the impact of the Star Wars Sequels upon Skellig Michael were unfounded. There was no damage caused that visitors wouldn't have also caused. There also wasn't a large uptick in people wanting to visit because of its status as a SW location, in part I think because the sequels just aren't that beloved.

But they're beloved to me, in no small part because of the way they treated a built heritage very dear to my heart. I think they deserve respect for that at the least.

[english-history-trip]

The 16th of October marks the commemoration by the Church of England of the Oxford Martyrs, Anglican bishops Nicholas Ridley, Hugh Latimer, and Thomas Cranmer, who were burned at the stake in Oxford for heresy under the reign of Mary I. Ridley and Latimer were burned together on that day in 1555; Cranmer's execution would be five months later.

They were some of the most high-profile figures executed during Mary's reign, having been respectively Bishop of London, Worcester, and Archbishop of Canterbury under the previous reign. They had also been singled out for their efforts to delegitimize Mary's claim to the throne; Cranmer had made the official pronouncement that annulled Henry VIII's marriage to Catherine of Aragon, thereby removing their daughter Mary from the line of succession, and Ridley had been instrumental in declaring Lady Jane Grey the successor to Edward VI, once again claiming Mary's illegitimacy.

The bishops made the most of the public spectacles of their executions, ensuring their legacy as religious martyrs. Latimer is quoted as having said "Be of good comfort, and play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out." Cranmer meanwhile had been pressured into signing a recantation of his Protestantism with a promise of leniency, but this was overruled by Mary herself, possibly because of her long-standing resentment of the role Cranmer has played in dissolving her parents' marriage. Once at the stake, Cranmer renounced his recantation, declared the Pope the Antichrist, and put his "unworthy hand" that had signed his presentation first into the fire.

Commemorations of the Martyrs can be found throughout Oxford; memorials are present in St. Mary's Church where the men were tried and convicted, the spot where the executions were held, and an ornate monument with statues of the three. The door to Cranmer's prison cell is preserved in the neighboring St. Michael's Church, and the Ashmolean Museum houses the key to the cell alongside the metal band said to have fastened Cranmer to the stake.

[seeingivy]

random method acting thoughts + asks

correct. you are absolutely correct. AND I THINK I MENTIONED THIS A FEW TIMES but every time I feel like method acting drama is unrealistic I remember that nicki minaj exists and sleep well at night. MEGAN DEFENDER FOR LIFE

trust. we've got a tweets heavy chapter. and her comeback tweet is so petty I don't even know how we got here but we're here

WAIT UR SO RIGHT. casual E charm around her neck and she's just like yeah what? no i'm not dating him what are you talking about (yes, she is)

thank you so much ☹️ i've been having the worst week (for two weeks in a row) and kind words like this mean so much to me. the headspace has not been the most fun space to be lately (and sometimes I worry that reflects in what I wrote) but i'm glad that it's made you happy and given you that feeling of love. that's all I could hope for and it almost makes me teary eyed that some shred of that is still there even when i'm not feeling the best 💌

here are my random thoughts:

connie has the online presence of tik tok user @/nmillz. like him single handedly reviving all in my head (flex) by fifth harmony (PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE SEEN IT) is the funniest thing ever and even the way he talks/what he talks about reminds me of method acting connie 😭

this is so random but mentally in my head, I associate some of the characters with like real celebrities and influencers in terms of aesthetic and vibe, which i've seen some readers do which is so interesting cuz our picks are never the same

like y/n in my head is olivia rodrigo coded. like her having a specific brand (very romantic, lovey dovey) when she was on disney channel (and maybe was asked to lean into really hard) as opposed to guts/sour which is so.....emotional/ jealously/rock that's kind of the vibe I get from that character (or at least where we are headed)

historia in terms of aesthetic/character is sabrina carpenter and taylor swift. sabrina carpenter in terms of aesthetics/looks (she is very much the beauty standard, the dream girl, nonsense outros) and in terms of character is taylor swift? like she's a relatable but there's a part of her that's always going to be untouchable (for taylor that's just cuz I think she's a billionaire/very detached from reality, but for the character that just stems from being so deep in the whole industry type thing that she kind of forgets what matters sometimes)

gabi in general reminds me of billie eilish, in terms of where her character will go. I wanted to include the real life hate that gabi as a character got in the show into the story, but I also feel like that hate sometimes is given to billie eilish. to the point where when she wins grammy's she's apologizing bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it, but at the end of the day...she's one of the most talented artists in our generation? what was I made for? bad guy? happier than ever? they were all phenomenal. gabi can be a great actress but she'll never feel like it!

sukuna and y/n give zendaya and timothee vibes. eren and lana give bradley cooper and emma stone in the variety actors on actors interview.

falco and gabi are walter scobell and leah sava jefferies in terms of dynamic and vibes. I will die on this hill.

eren and y/n are andrew garfield/emma stone (ref: she was like a shot of espresso), danielle galligan/calahan skogman (ref: matching tattoos), daisy ridley jones/paul mescal (ref: undeniable SOMETHING)

hyla just has kardashians/nicki minaj level audacity. like kim wearing a purple dress and posting a story w/ speak now...nicki minaj ai generated diss track like that's her.

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

It Happened Today in Christian History

October 16th, 1555: Hugh Latimer and Nicholas Ridley were burned at the stake in Oxford. Their crime? Refusing to renounce their Protestant faith. It is recorded in Foxe's Book of Martyrs that while the flames rushed upon them, Latimer encouraged Ridley with the words, "Be of good cheer, Mr. Ridley, and play the man. We shall this day light such a candle by God's grace in England, as I trust shall never be put out."

[bringcal]

kids! remember! never take candy from strangers, unless that stranger is jade harley

this is a redraw of something done 1 year ago, which you can find here. seeing the development is fun!

[coldgoldlazarus]

I think (yet) another area where Other M failed Samus as a character was in shoehorning her and The Baby (The Baby The Baby The Baby) into a reductive mother/child relationship and then building half the game around that. Not just because of the sexism issues that others have pointed out, but also in reducing it solely to that, when there's so much more interesting potential ideas at play there.

Don't get me wrong, I do think Samus had some affection for it. I've seen takes that try to combat Other M's portrayal, by pointing out that the first thing she did was drop it off somewhere and take off to keep doing her usual thing, so clearly she can't have been that attached, right? And I do think there's definitely room enough for interpretation for that reading to work. Still, it's not one I can entirely get behind either, just as reductive but in a different direction.

Besides, all the fanart of her and the baby being cute adoptive family is too good to pass up. XD

But still, I feel like there's another angle to it that's harder to pin down as pure love or a lack thereof, but makes Super Metroid's ending just that much more bittersweet, and the developments in Fusion and Dread that much more... loaded, for lack of a better word.

To cut to the point, thematically speaking I feel like the Baby represents an attempt at Redemption, in a lot of ways.

---

A redemption for Samus, who just wiped out the rest of its race. Who just became its personal Ridley, killing its mother the very next room over. There's a terrible sort of irony in the concept of her adopting it, after having been the one to orphan it and make it the last of its kind, yet just as undeniable an emotional sense to it. By sparing it, by taking it under her wing, she has the chance to, if not undo, then at least make up for, what she's done. It's hard to really say she's wracked with guilt over this, Samus has never seemed like one much for excessive regret, yet I feel like some amount likely factors into her decisions.

Yet all the same there is the fact that she killed the rest, that she is used to seeing Metroids as an enemy to be slain. If there's a moment where her instinct and reflexes overtake her sense and intentions, she could kill it without even meaning to, and it is so small and weak that it wouldn't even be a fight. So it can't be in her hands; she has to trust that someone else can take care of it in a way she doesn't feel fit to, and hope that that will be enough.

It is a redemption for the Metroids themselves, a second chance. While they have been quietly keeping the galaxy safe from the threat of the X Parasites, ever since they were discovered they have been a source of turmoil and death. The Pirate's efforts to weaponize them; the Metroid Prime and its reincarnation into Dark Samus feeding into the Phazon Crisis; and if the secret ending of Federation Force is to go anywhere, I strongly suspect they will play a significant role in Prime 4 as well. (With that possibly becoming the inciting incident for Samus's elimination mission in Returns.)

The Baby represents a chance to break that cycle, for there to be effort put into using the Metroids constructively, to better society rather than burn it. Similarly, this is a chance for the Federation to do better. Rather than eliminating them as a threat, this is a chance to understand them, make peace with them, and find a way to work with them even despite the danger rather than responding with fear and overwhelming force.

In a way, it's even a redemption for the Pirates, albeit from another angle. They would, and do once again choose a path of terror rather than peace, so it isn't a redemption for them the same way as it would be for Samus and the Federation.

But after their first attempt was foiled in Metroid/Zero Mission, and after being led astray and ultimately failed by the allure of Phazon in the Prime trilogy, they have suffered significant defeats and setbacks. The Baby is their last chance to use the Metroids like they wanted to from the start, to weaponize them and use them in their conquests and piracy. To rebuild their power and redeem their sense of strength.

---

And at the end of Super Metroid, it dies. Everyone loses. The Pirates lose their shot at the ultimate weapon, and another leader in Mother Brain. The Federation lose their shot at understanding. (And in Fusion, are now doing the exact same thing the Pirates were attempting to do.) The Metroids lose their chance to be remembered as anything other than a deadly scourge. And Samus loses not only the child, but the chance to step back from the brink of her near-genocide as Mother Brain brings it to completion. It was a second chance for everyone involved, and that second chance was wasted.

---

And yet. And yet some good still comes of it, in a different way. Samus is infused with a recovered sample of its DNA to save her life, and so now becomes the real Last Metroid. It lives on in her, and she brings that to the fore at the end of Dread. Miraculously, there's been a third chance granted, and one she can't try to distance herself from like with Ceres. The responsibility is hers on what to do with that now, and if Dread is anything to go by, she's done letting the machinations of other parties dictate that course for her.

Because if there's one thing that's certain, the other parties will have their own designs.

If there is indeed a Metroid 6 in the future, only time will tell if this third chance will get to come to fruition in some way or another.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1150: The Devil's Sister (?) (Super Smash Bros Ultimate X Tekken)

3:23 p.m. at the Smash Mansion's Dining Halls.......

Zelda: (Sighs While Crossing her Arms and Walking Along with Mewtwo and Ganondorf) For the last time, Ganon, Mewwy and I are not interested in joining your little heist tonight.

Ganondorf: Oh come now, you two, it'll only be one night and the obtaining the sacred jew will be twice as short and less time restraint than originally planned with your assistance around and about.

Mewtwo: But everyone else in the League will take part in this too, right? Couldn't you have one play the distraction role instead?

Ganondorf: I already assigned everyone to their roles ages ago and even then, I can't really say I trust either of them with this task in question. Bowser and Ridley wouldn't be able keep their mouths shut for the likes of them, Dark Samus' shape-shifting abilities would rise suspension, and the Devil Brat-

The trio's eyes begins to widened as they see Kazuya repeatedly banging his head on the table while everyone else present watching him and Hades chuckling maniacally at the scene itself.

Ganondorf: (Raises his Eyebrow in Confusion) Is not currently banging his head on the table like a madman, what's going on here?

Mewtwo: (Notices a Young Woman Sporting a Purple Colored Tips Faded into her Black Hair, Standing Behind Kazuya with a Smirk on her Face) And who's this?

Hades: (Gets Up From his Seat) Ohohoo! You three are in for a helluva treat right now! Princess, gentlemen, allow me to introduce you Reina Mishima.

Reina: (Causally Waves at the Three) 'Sup.

Zelda: Wait, Mishima? Does that mean you're-

Reina: (Smiles Brightly) That's right!~ I just so happen to be Kazuya's baby sister~ (Was About Ruffle The Top of Kazuya's Head Until....)

Kazuya: (Angrily Points at his "Sister") DON'T!....Touch me.

Reina: (Moves her Hand Away From Kazuya) Fine. Whatever you say, Onee-san~

Kazuya: DON'T CALL ME THAT EITHER!!!

Ganondorf: Okay, I'm confused. (Turns to Kazuya) You have a sibling this entire time?

Reina: Make that "siblings" actually. There's many of us around believe or not.

Mewtwo: (Raises an Eyebrow) How many are we talking exactly?

Reina: Oh I dunno~ Nine....Eighteen.....Maybe twenty-five of us perhaps~

Everyone: TWENTY FIVE!?

Hades: Yeeeeeeup!~ And none of them belongs to Kazumi either. Old Hachi-Boy might've gotten over that train wreck real quick that day cause he was getting BUSY in these past few years!

Bowser: Oh God the Child Support Payment must've been off the roof for the guy. (Eyes Suddenly Starts to Widened) Does even PAID Child Support to begin with?

Sephiroth: Given the the history we were given about him so far, I wouldn't be surprised if that turns out to be the case.

Pichu: (Nodded in Agreement) Pi.

Reina: Nah I wouldn't say that's the case entirely. The old fart never activately been around in any of our lives, bit he has provided all of us the funds and resources we needed to survive in the outside world. Well.....(Smirks Down at a Severely Pissed Off Kazuya) Almost all of us.

Zelda: (Still Surpised at What is Happening Right Now) This is all so much to process at once.....I need something to snack on ASAP!

Mewtwo: Got it. (Summons a Bag of Chips in Front of Zelda With a Snap of his Finger)

Zelda: (Catches the Bag Before Letting Out a Loud Gasps and Pulling her Best Friend into a Very Loving Hug) Mewwy, I love you with every fiber of my soul!~ Let's go!~ (Grabs Mewtwo by the Hand and Rushes Over to the Leagues of Villains' Table to Having a Much Better Viewing Experience)

Ganondorf: So....Given that you're Heihachi's daughter, have you learned a thing or two about his family fighting style as well?

Reina: For the most part. I took a few lessons from his training guide videos a while back and it's been proven beneficial so far. (Let Out a Bit of a Chuckle) A few of peers would usually go on and on saying that learning Martial Arts is a waste of time, but I dunno. It feels nice to fight your own battles for once. (Wiggles her Fingers a Little Before Balling her Fist Up, Creating a Small Purple Electricity Around the Knuckles) It's also satisfying to crush any weak, small fry that tries to get in my way.

Ganondorf: Assertive dominance and power hungry.....(Forms an Evil Smirk on his Face) Not bad. Ever thought about joining our League-

Kazuya: NO! NO! NO! She is NOT joining our group!

Ganondorf: (Casually Shrugs) Don't see why? We ARE in need of new recruits.

Ridley: Plus, she does seems to fit the qualifications of a villain so far, so-

A Devil Beam starts coming towards Space Pirate's direction before quickly dodging it completely.

Ridley: (Glares at Kazuya) What the hell, man!? I was just saying!

Kazuya: (Glares Back at Ridley) And you need to learn when to keep your mouth shut, bird!!

Ridley: Hey, don't get pissy at me for stating the obvious! And I'm a freaking dragon!....I think?....

Reina: Oh come now, Kazu, there's no need for you get so mad~ I personally don't see anything wrong with us working together from time to time.

Kazuya: (Turns to Reina) I do not associate myself with snot-nosed brats. Let alone one who doesn't seem to know her PLACE!

Reina: No need to get so hostile. Your crew mates here were only presenting me an offer I have no reason to refuse.

Kazuya: And I decline you from EVER joining our ranks!!

Bowser: (Nervously Raise Up his Finger) I don't really think you have a say in the matt-

Kazuya: SHUT UP!

Kazuya angrily shoots another Devil Beam at Bowser, whom quickly dodges it as well.

Reina: ('Sigh') Honestly. Have you always throw hissy fits whenever things don't go your way? At your own age nonetheless?

Mewtwo: You think that's immature? You should've seen all the times him and his subordinates drinking celebrating around your father's grave every chance they get.

Reina: Really?....Can't tell if that's sad or pathetic.

Mewtwo: I say it's the latter.

Kazuya shoots yet another Devil Beam at Mewtwo, only for Zelda to stop it from hitting him by using her manipulation power with the palm of her hand

Zelda: (Glares at Kazuya While Slowly Erasing the Beam Entirely) Don't. Even.

Reina: (Gives Zelda a Impressed Smile on her Face) Gotta say, that's some nifty telekinesis powers you got there, princess.

Zelda: (Turns to Reina with a Bright Smile on her Face) Thanks!~ Mewwy's been teaching me a thing or two on how to use them more fluently

Reina: (Chuckles Lightly While Pointing at Mewtwo) This cutie suppose to be your teacher or something?

Zelda: Not just that. (Happily Hugs Mewtwo Again) This cutie is also my bestest friend in the whole wide world!~

Mewtwo: (Looks Away While Blushing) Nothing about me screams cute, Zelda......

Reina: Intellect and cool collected. (Turns Back to her Shakingly Enraged Older Brother) You should learn a few things from him, Kazu. Maybe then you wouldn't be deemed as a failure to the Mishima Family's name. (Casually Shrugs) Hell, I wouldn't even be surprised if your mother thought the same way too before she di-

Before Reina could even finish the rest of her sentence, Kazuya delivers a powerful, electric surging punch towards her face, only for the young woman to catch it at the last second woth an iron grip, much to everyone's surprise.

Bowser: (Immediately Gets Up From his Seat) Oh shit!

Ridley: Another escalation happening here, people!

Sephiroth: (Rolls his Eyes) No surprise there.

Hades: And the sparks begins to fly at long last!

Ganondorf: (Smirk Grew Wider) Excellent.

Reina: Well, would you look at that!~ (Forms an Evil, Cocky Smirk on her Face While Still Holdong onto Kazuya's Fist) We're actually getting somewhere here.

Kazuya: (Tries His Very Hardest to Power Through Reina's Grip While Grunting) Sister......or not.....I WILL kill you.....With my own BARE HANDS!!!

Reina: You're more than welcome to try. But I must warn you though.....I never take my punches lightly....nor do I take lightly to those who are all talk....So unless you wanna know what it feels like to grovel on a solid floor, cut the bullshit, try your hardest, and push me towards my. Absolute. Limit.

Kazuya: Gladly.

Kazuya uses his other fist to try and punch Reina for the second time and-

冬夜!!

Kazuya's eyes suddenly starts to widen as he turns to see a ghost of his own mother, Kazumi, stand beside him, silently shaking her head at in disappointment. It was long for only son take a deep breath and loosen the force of his punch.

Kazuya: No. I won't kill you. Not yet anyways.

Reina: (Raises an Eyebrow as She Slowly Starts to Losen her Grip) Really? You're giving up just like that? Pretty disappointing if you ask me-

Kazuya: Quiet, you insufferable brat! That's not what I'm doing! I'm only putting this on hold for now. But the next time I see you, I won't be so merciful.

Reina: (Stares at Kazuya Fore a Brief Second Before Sighing in Defeat) Fine. Whatever you say, Kazuya. (Finally Let's Go of Kazuya's Hand) I have a busy schedule on my hands already. (Properly Bows to Everyone Else at the Table) So I must bid ypu all adieu for now.

Ganondorf: (Walks Up to Reina) Wait. Before you go anywhere, here. (Gives Reina the Leagues of Villains Business Card) The offer still stands for you to join our League if you like.

Reina: (Smiles Brightly at Ganondorf) Why, thank you very much, Senpai!~ (Place the Business Card in her Jackey Pocket) I'll be sure to keep you all in touch going forward. In the meantime, I'll actually take my leave for real this time. (Walks Away Before Suddenly Stopping in her Tracks) Oh and......Onee-Chan? If you still wanna try and kill me with your own bare hands, you know where to find me. (Turns Back to Kazuya One Last Time With an Evil Grin on her Face) And I'll be sure show not to show you any form of mercy on my end either. (Turns Away Before Walking Away, Waving Goodbye to Everyone)

Zelda: (Happily Waves Goodbye to the New Girl Along With Almost Everyone Else) Byeeee, Reina!~ It was nice meeting you!~

Hades: Come back amd humble Kazu-boy anytime you want!~

Sephiroth: Till we meet again I suppose.

Pichu: Pi-chuuuu!~

Ganondorf: (Let's Out a Satisfied Sigh) Well now. I suppose an agreement is in order. All in favor letting Reina join the League: Say 'Aye'! (Raises his Hand Up)

Everyone: (Raises Their Hands Up as Well) Aye!/Pi!

Kazuya: (Angrily Transform into his Devil Form) ('GRAAAAAAAA') FUCK IT! I'm going out for fresh air and you all can kiss the stone cold part of my ass!!

Kazuya sky rockets himself out of the mansion, breaking parts of the ceiling as it falls down on the table.

Ganondorf: ('Sigh') Great. The devil brat's tantrum destroyed the ceiling again. All in favor in telling the ladies what happened- Not it!

Bowser: Not it!

Zelda: Not it!

Mewtwo: Not it.

Hades: Not itttt!~

Sephiroth: Not it.

Pichu: Pichu!~

Dark Samus: Not it....

Ridley: Not it- Ahhh Damnit! Again with this!?

Bowser: (Shrugs) Sorry, man. Rules are rules.

Dark Samus: I'll miss you~

Ridley: (Sighs in Defeat While Getting Up From his Seat) Yeah, yeah, I'll miss you too, babe. (Starts Walking Off) I swear, I can't have anything good in this place.....

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@tampire

@albion-93

@bestpony666

@thelexhex

[positivelybeastly]

🖤

It feels weird for me to ask this for a number of reasons, but my curiosity is eating me alive.

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

I don't believe you've given a solid description of Ridley in her human form and what she looks like, so I can only go off of my mental image here and also how Hank's experiences with Ridley have coloured his perception of her - which is to say, he doesn't really view her as an object of attraction, just a person who needs help and support. Especially in the periods we've been writing in, that version of Hank takes medical ethics very seriously, so that very much limits how attractive he can find her.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

I mean, let's be real here, I would not say that Ridley is high on charm, but she is quite impressive in her own respect - clearly self-reliant, intense, capable of finding her own way through, and smart. She has her rough edges, but Hank's spent his entire life navigating people with rough edges, that's not usually something he holds against people.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

She entered his life as a younger individual in need of help, and as such, she's been mentally categorised as someone to whom Hank has a duty of care - ergo, she is not someone he would feel comfortable pursuing sexually. Honestly, I play Hank as someone who, even at his messiest, is good to his partners and puts their needs and health above his own, he'd rather not be with them than drag them down with his bullshit, so he's not going to make things messy and awkward for Ridley if she needs his help.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

I feel like this honestly flows back and forth between them - calling them friends would be a stretch at this point, but allies, compatriots, sure! She probably finds him a bit cloying and too obviously wholesome, he finds her abrasive and proud. But guess what, he ended up making friends with Logan eventually, it'll get there.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

First impression was, oh boy, that's a lot of blood and you don't seem to care a lot about that fact, this is going to be interesting. Considering Hank's best friend/most promising boyfriend candidate met him by punching him into a wall, this is not the worst first meeting Hank's ever had with someone.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

I don't know if Hank would call her cool just yet - fascinating, absolutely, though that work could have all kinds of negative associations for her. But she's clearly not an aggressor, she just wants to live her life as best she can and not be bothered. In his way, Hank can understand that, has felt that himself, and wants to give Ridley all the chances he can to be what she wants.

[tracybirds]

friendship is magic and i'm thinking hard about tracy fam and their relationships <3 this is simply a list of possibilities for me to use to pick and choose :D Named characters are background characters, then I'm listing the circles they run in

just some silly fun for a thursday morning, gonna go do dishes and maths now :D

SCOTT

Marion Van Arkel

Kat Cavanaugh

Asher and Finn

Toshi Murakami

tracy industries people

uni friends (the man needs people to geek out about maths with)

personally i don't think he kept in touch with any air force people but i guess there's them too

VIRGIL

Cass McCready

online engineering community (as in Nutty's V.T. Green bc i'm never not obsessed with that fic)

art group

orchestra friends

jazz band buds (Virgil is in a jazz band and they meet up monthly for jazz band shenanigans)

JOHN

Ridley O'Bannon

Tycho Reeves (trust me on this one, I know they didn't really interact but also trust me)

space fam (neighbours group chat but the neighbours are all in space.... they have a chess tournament once a year)

stingray fandom friends

astrophysics nerds

GORDON

Robby Shelby

Buddy and Ellie Pendergast

Scraps

enviro friends (*cough cough* @gumnut-logic's Raoul Island crew)

old swim team

WASP buddies

ALAN

Brandon Barrenger

Conrad

cavern quest / gaming friends

homeschool "pen pals"

Alan needs more friends the poor kid must get lonely :'(

KAYO

Wayne Rigby

Doyle

Andi Houseman

GDF buds that Rigby introduces her to

she has the whole tracy fam so it's a little different for her i think bc she gets to live with her best friends* all the time

BRAINS

Moffie

a select few other science friends

his sister's acting friends that have adopted him (based on the linked headcanon)

GRANDMA TRACY

Kip Harris (get it Grandma!!!)

i like to think she's in an aviation club

also doctor friends :D

give me a stitch and bitch for grandma lol

keeps in touch with all the kansas friends <3

JEFF

Lee Taylor

Colonel Casey

Ned Tedford (once Jeff comes back and they go rescue this hapless man AGAIN, Jeff invites him back for dinner and they become good friends I'm holding onto this one)

air force buddies

rich people pals

Penelope's Dad (Hugh????)

*disclaimer that my personal interpretation of kayo is that she's a good friend who is like a sister and the six of them casually refer to each other as such but isn't actually adopted bc her dad by all accounts is still alive and all that and personally I found the way TAG handled that weird.... but my experience is that I call my two best friends sisters without a trace of irony bc our families were closely intertwined and i've known them since birth and grown up with them. I even lived with them for a time as a child when my parents couldn't look after me. That's what Kayo and the boys feels like to me and is obvs very influenced by my own experience of being sent to live with another family while growing up.

[ackarcue]

Character.ai messed me up.

Anyways

Theo is part of the Youth Orchestra of Mineral Wells. First chair, of course.

Change-O did the whole simba thing with Top Hat. It was hilarious.

Ridley stole a straight jacket from an abandoned asylum for Leila. Everyone is too scared to ask how she got it.

@somewhat-bored thanks for headcanonizing that sickness idea I had for Ridley. It was the one where she gets sick near winter. I think I only chatted about it and never posted it but big thank mi amigo.

Someone thought it was funny to put bunny ears on Carter. Someone else put cat ears on him and now there’s this whole debate.

Carter gave Ridley a cigarette kiss. Miss Larsen would have a heart attack. In fact, Ridley tends to be the one that Carter trusts with issues that make him upset. Leila is the comforter, but Ridley is the vent. In fact he’s a lot bolder with Ridley.

The twins borrowed Leila’s rope to jokingly clothesline Ridley. She was MAD. We’re talking counting down to 5 to run kind of mad.

Ridley draws really well, and now has two journals. One has all her inventions and potential war crimes, and the other is drawings of her misfits.