#ngl one of the things i adore about this movie

[zarameraki]

♡₊˚🛏️₊✧ 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽-𝗱𝗮𝗱𝗱𝘆 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼’𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗻𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗸 ♡🌙₊˚₊✧

: ̗̀➛ tropes: fem! reader 𖥔 minors do not interact 𖥔 somnophilia (the characters have discussed the kink beforehand) 𖥔 unprotected sex 𖥔 step-father x step-daughter 𖥔 porn with a bit of plot 𖥔 dom daddy and his little girl 𖥔 gojo eats you out 𖥔 bj 𖥔 alternate universe 𖥔 biting 𖥔 nipple play 𖥔 heavy daddy kink 𖥔 lots of dirty talking

: ̗̀➛ words: 3.1k

: ̗̀➛ notes: initially this was a toji fic but satoru somehow decided to fit better (bad-dum tshh). ngl when i was writing this i got butterflies in my stomach. like i legit felt sumn throbbing lmaooo. tmi??? dont care. we're all horny here mamas. if you have any requests, don’t hesitate to send them. pls follow, reblog, like, comment—whatever you want! okay love you and enjoy.

Satoru wasn’t ashamed to fuck his step-daughter. 

He enjoyed it. 

You enjoyed it. 

A clandestine affair kept under the sheets from your mother and two older brothers.

Megumi and Yuji had their suspicions about how carefree their step-father was around you, constantly tickling your side, asking you to lay your head on his lap during movie nights, and buying you gifts on a whim. The boys would obviously complain about the special treatment, but Satoru would just watch with a smile as you stuck your little tongue out and called yourself Daddy’s girl. 

Because that's what you were. You were your daddy’s girl. And Satoru ensured that fact was deeply ingrained in your mind as he moved in and out of you, lifting your tender legs onto his shoulders, kissing your rosy lips, saturating your silk sheets with both his and your release.

It was difficult keeping the lewd side of your relationship a secret. Your mother was rarely at home from her corporate job, and you suspected she was having an affair with a salaryman named Satoru.

Meanwhile, your brothers were in their second and fourth year of college nearby and could come home whenever they pleased—particularly Megumi, who wasn't as much of a partygoer as Yuji being a senior. There were multiple times while Satoru was fucking you when Megumi returned home, but did that stop him from satisfying his girl? Fuck no. 

As for your stepfather, he was a remote investor in the booming hospitality industry, managing significant stakes in various companies. His encounter with your mother at an industry event last year was strategic; she became a means to an end, a stepping stone toward fulfilling his desires. A few months down the line, she introduced him to her family, to you—the most precious thing Satoru laid his eyes on. You were the real prize in his eyes, something he had to figure out how to get his hands on, despite always getting what he wanted.

So, he married your mother, moved into your house, and deployed every weapon in his arsenal, including his lethal charms, to claim you as his own.

But did Satoru cherish you in the way a man should cherish a woman? No. He didn't cherish you. His love didn’t check off the conventional boxes. He was consumed, fixated, captivated by your existence, by your body, the adorable noises you made when you climaxed. But not enough to make you his girlfriend, or someday his wife. 

He just wanted you as his step-daughter. He was a selfish, depraved bastard who got off on that fantasy, and you, God you loved nothing more. You wanted nothing more from him than to be exactly who he was in his spot—your step-father.

As long as you both kept fucking each other for however long, you were satisfied. 

“Quiet, baby,” Satoru whispered as he clicked on a link for a video call with his team. His one hand rested over his mouse, the other over your crown as you lapped at the tip of his leaking cock. “This is an important call.” 

You’d returned from school after acing the test you’d been studying all week for and wanted to release that excitement onto your step-father. After all, he did massage your shoulders and brought you fruits when you were busting your ass memorizing the periodic table. 

Satoru plastered on a smile as the voices from his computer started speaking. He still kept petting your head, chuckling casually and speaking smoothly about numbers and profits like the capitalist he was. 

You opened your jaw wider and took his length into your mouth. Your gag reflex was non-existent after months and months of perfecting this skill. Your tongue supported the bottom of his shaft, while slowly bobbing your head up and down. Satoru’s grip tightened in your hair, but he remained all rainbow and sunshine in front of his workers. 

You gripped his thick cock, feeling the veins pulsing under your touch. Your tongue slid from the bottom to the top as you sucked on the pink head like a lollipop, glancing up at him through your lashes.

Satoru shot you a heated look and guided your head with his hand. He pushed his throbbing cock into your mouth, holding your face against his pelvis. You gagged a bit, needing air, and he eased off.

“It’s on mute,” he muttered. 

You broke out into coughs and smacked his leg. “What the fuck was that for?” 

“For giving me those eyes.” 

You scoffed. “Dickhead.” 

“It’s right in front of you, Princess. Put your pretty lips on it again.” 

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed his cock extra tight making a muscle in his jaw twitch. You lapped at the pre-cum leaking down his length, then took him into the cave of your warm, small mouth. 

Satoru held your head in his hands, guiding the pace. He struggled to focus on the meeting, clearing his throat to shake off the intense feeling building up inside him. With fifteen minutes still to go, he was on the brink. 

Feeling your tap on his knee, he glanced down to see you motioning to your mouth.

Satoru lowered your head again, clenching his jaw as your tongue pushed him over the edge. He held his breath, releasing a wave of warmth as he emptied himself into your mouth. His grip tightened on your hair, while his other hand reached for his glass of water, desperately trying to steady himself with large gulps.

You pulled back, strings of your saliva and his come forming a bridge. He gave you the water and you drank the last bits of it. Satoru patted the top of your head and you stayed hidden underneath his table, admiring him as he finished his meeting. 

And before you knew it, he had you bouncing on his cock again. 

At dinner time, you helped set up the table with your brothers while your mother flipped the hamburger patties.

Satoru tossed the salad bowl, taking small glimpses at you and the pink set of tight shorts and tank you wore. He’s been noticing you rubbing your temples, swaying a little on the balls of your feet, blinking rapidly. You clearly weren’t feeling well from all that studying you’d been doing. 

Megumi abruptly pulled you aside by your elbow. “Is everything all right?” 

You blinked, fighting the sharp pain in your temple. “Yeah. Why?” 

“Satoru keeps glaring at you. Did you piss him off or something?” 

You cast a look at your step-father, who’s focused on pouring olive oil on the greens. “I haven’t talked to him since I came home from school.” 

Megumi nodded, rubbing your arm. “Well, I’m here if you need to talk about anything.” 

“What do you mean?” 

He scratches the back of his neck. “I just— This probably sounds stupid, but I don’t like knowing you’re both home alone in the afternoon.” 

“He lives here, silly. What do you expect?” 

“Yeah, I know. I know that—I’m just saying that he looks at you . . . like, weirdly. Not in a way someone would look at their family member. He acts weirdly, too. Always touching you and tickling you. I don’t know.” Megumi scrutinizes your outfit. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear that around the house when he’s here.” 

You frowned and crossed your arms. “I can’t deal with this again.” Putting on an act that Satoru was simply your step-father and nothing else was tiring, but you’d mastered it. “You’re being delusional as always, Megs. Satoru is just family to us and vice versa. I’m just special because I’m the youngest.” You patted his shoulder. “I can take care of myself. And if I ever need help, I’ve got you and Yuji to defend me.” 

Megumi smiled solemnly and shrugged off his hoodie, handing it to you. “Can you at least wear this?” 

Anything to ease his mind. 

You smiled and shouldered the large hoodie. 

Throughout dinner you kept losing focus of the conversation flowing between your brothers and mother. Your head was pounding from the stress of your upcoming final exams, your scalp ached a little from Satoru’s grip this afternoon, and you desperately needed sleep. 

“Y/N?” 

You lifted your head, blinking lethargically. “Yes, Mom?” 

“Are you okay?” 

“I—” You rubbed your heated forehead and pinched the bridge of your nose. “I, uh—I think I’m just not feeling too good.” 

“Sweetheart, how many times have I told you to take it easy with school? You’re doing great—”

“Great’s not going to get me in my dream college, Mom.” You lost your appetite easily and excused yourself from the table, grabbing a bottle of NyQuil and a spoon. “Please don’t wake me up until tomorrow. Goodnight.” You ignored everyone’s stares and marched upstairs, taking a spoonful on the way. 

Dropping face-front on the bed, you melted in your sheets and forced yourself into a sleep. 

Satoru waited until every light in the house was off before visiting your bedroom.

Of course, he had to check that little shit Megumi’s room, and after hearing nothing but white noise, he checked up on Yuji and found him snoring his lungs out, then finally entered into your space.

He shut the door quietly and locked it. 

You laid fast asleep, hair dusted across your soft face, one hand on your stomach, the other next to your head.

Satoru smirked and sat at the edge of your bed, checking your temperature by pressing his hand against your forehead. You were burning up, and the little strangled breaths puffing from your parted lips proved you weren’t going to school tomorrow. 

Lying down next to you, Satoru brushed your hair from your face and kissed your cheek. He glanced down the length of your body and back to your face. His fingers danced over your collarbone, the expanse of your throat, feeling your rapid pulse.

“Relax for me, baby,” he whispered in your ear, kissing below your earlobe. He watched you for a second, waiting for you to shift or wake up, but you were dead asleep. 

You talked about what turns you on the most last week, and somnophilia was right up there, leaving Satoru scratching his head in confusion. He couldn’t wrap his head around how someone could be into getting it on while asleep. But you were practically begging him to give it a try someday, and he couldn’t say no to you. 

Well, surprise, surprise, baby. 

Satoru slipped down the straps of your tank top, leaning over you. He bridged kisses from your jaw to your neck to your shoulders, softly, not his usual crass ones. His finger hooked your tank lower until it exposed your tits and your puckered nipples.

“You’re always sensitive here, aren’t you, Princess?” He cupped your left breast and lowered his head, kissing the nipple and sucking the bud. 

You took a deep breath and shifted your face to the right.

Satoru switched to your neglected breast, taking his sweet time nibbling your tender nipple, then bringing his lips to yours. He kissed the top one, the bottom one, pushed his tongue inside to feel your sleeping one. His kisses trailed lower and lower until he reached your shorts. He pulled them down to reveal white panties and a damp spot between your legs. 

“Even in your sleep, huh?” Satoru planted kisses on your inner thighs, gently biting and licking. He nuzzled his nose against your clothed sex, inhaling deeply and breathing out slowly. His tongue traced over the area, wetting it more with each stroke. “Daddy’s gonna eat his pussy now, baby.” He pulled your panties to the side and dove into your slick, moist folds. “Mmm. You smell so sweet.” 

Satoru began to lap your juices like a starved dog, keeping your tender folds parted with his thumbs. The tip of his nose bumped against your clit, sending a little shiver down your body. He double-checked to see if you’re still asleep, then continued his job. He pushed two fingers in your walls and chuckled against your flesh as you clenched around him. “It’s okay, baby. Daddy’s taking good care of you.” 

Half an hour. He ate you out for half an hour until he could see the slight quiver in your swollen clit. His saliva and your fresh release covering your abused, delicate folds.

When he pulled away, his hard cock in hand, Satoru sat back, admiring you spread out like a feast before him. Leaning in, he teased your folds with his throbbing length, digging his tip over your clit in gentle circles.

“Can I put it in, Princess?” he whispered in your ear. You didn't answer, sweat trickling down your forehead with the fever. Satoru licked the droplets, then kissed down to your neck. His hands stayed by your head as he moved his hips, dragging himself over your puffy cunt. “Oh, fuck, baby. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Your little pussy is so soft and wet.” He gripped his length and pressed just the tip into your entrance. “Since you’ve been such a good girl, I’ll give you what you want. Just don't wake up, okay?”

Satoru slipped in smoothly and nuzzled into your neck. He eased into your tightness, going slow and steady, urging your gummy walls to adjust to his size. “My sweet baby. Look at you. Sleeping while your daddy fucks himself in you.” He pulled back and widened your legs, seeing his fat cock sliding in and out of you. “Fuck, yes. Gonna fuck this little cunt of yours for hours.” He started moving quickly. “I don’t care if you can’t walk tomorrow. You won’t be leaving this bed anyway with that fever of yours. Daddy’s gonna fuck it out of you however long it takes.” 

He put his hands on either side of your head and kissed you while moving his hips.

You moaned, feeling a shiver as cold touched your bare chest and legs. “Satoru,” you said softly. His eyes closed in pleasure as he increased his pace. 

Sensing you stirring, he wrapped his arm around your waist and turned you over so you were lying on his chest. He paused, running his hand down your arm. “It’s okay, Princess. Go to sleep. Daddy’s got you.” 

You exhaled heavily. 

Satoru licked his lips and grabbed your plump asscheeks in his palms, slowly moving himself up into you. His face squished up seeing how well you were handling him even though you were out cold. He kept going, sometimes easing up when you shifted on his chest, or speeding up when you stayed asleep. 

“I'm so close, baby. So close to finishing inside my little girl. Gonna fill you up. Flush those pills and make you a mom.” He envisioned you with a swollen belly, your breasts heavy with milk, your body glowing and all his. 

Fuck, you were his. 

You were only his. 

Satoru came harder than he ever had before. Hot spurts of his release filled your sweet hole to the brim, and yet he continued with pumping into you. “Hey, baby? Daddy doesn’t want to stop now, okay? He’s going to fuck you some more,” he said, realizing why this kink meant so much to you.

Pulling out slowly, he laid you down beside him, shedding his clothes. Pressing his chest against your back, he wrapped your leg around his and slid back inside you, burying his face in your neck. He wanted to be rough, to feel your nails on his skin, to bite you and hear you moan.

“I wanna kiss you, baby. I want your little tongue.” Satoru pulled out of you after finishing for the second time and laid you on your back. He adjusted your head so you were looking at him. His fingers went back to pleasuring you while his lips met yours. He slipped his thumb between your teeth, easing your bottom jaw down. Satoru slid his tongue in, playing with yours, moaning and breathing heavily.

“My baby has such soft lips,” he murmured over your wet, swollen mouth. Taking his finger soaked with your juices and his come, Satoru placed them between your lips and ran them over your tongue. He ravished your mouth again. 

Exhausted from holding back, Satoru pulled you close and slid back inside you, staying still, just feeling your warmth. He ran his hand over your back, kissed your head, and shut his eyes.

In the morning, you woke up feeling a bit weighed down below and something awkward stopping your movements. You lifted your head, rubbing your sleepy eyes, and saw Satoru asleep beneath you. A grin spread across your face as you remembered the steamy dream you had about him satisfying you. 

You planted a kiss on his cheek and tried to get up using your hands, but then you froze. 

You looked down and realized you were sitting right on top of Satoru’s cock.

Holy shit. It wasn’t a dream. 

Satoru fucked you while you were out cold. Just thinking about him taking advantage of your defenseless body to satisfy himself made you shiver.

“Dickhead,” you grumbled, then began to rock your hips. Time for payback. Yanking down your cami-top, you teased your nipples, riding his stiffening cock. You couldn't care less as you leaned in for a kiss. “Rise and shine, Handsome.” 

Satoru took a deep breath. His lips synced with yours effortlessly, and his hand found its way into your hair. He yanked your head back, his eyes widening as they trailed down to your swaying hips. A smirk played on his lips as he relaxed back, crossing his arms behind his head. “You feeling good now, Princess?”

“Much better, Daddy.” 

Satoru admired the playful bounce of your tits, the adorable mewls escaping your mouth, the flush of your smooth skin. Seeing his step-daughter fuck herself on his cock first thing in the morning had him on cloud nine. 

“I’m gonna come, Daddy,” you moaned, hands planted on his chest. 

“Come, then, baby. Come on your daddy’s cock.” He reached out and grabbed your throat. “Then lick it clean.” 

“Yes, Daddy.” You came with a muted cry, milking every last drop of him. “Your cock is so full inside of me.” Satoru smirked at your dirty little words and gave your left tit a little slap. 

You picked yourself up from his cock and knelt between his legs. Satoru watched as your little hand barely wrapped around his girth, lapping at his come like his pretty, little kitten. “Feels good, Daddy?” 

“Yeah, baby. You always feel good to me.”

Satoru released a contented sigh and reclined against the soft pillows, his arms folded beneath him.

He will never be shameless of fucking his sweet girl ever. 

[cheeseceli]

You speak another language

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader

Genre: fluff, reaction

Warnings: mention of food at Lee Know and Felix's, I think that's it?

Request: how do you think ot8 would react to the reader speaking in their native language? Especially if it's not korean/english?

A/n: It's embarrassing the amount of time I took to write this one💀 the worst part is that I actually spent every week tryna find the best way of putting all my ideas together. Hope you like it anyways!

Bang Chan

‌Would have a pet name for you in your mother tongue

‌ Like idk if you speak spanish his nickname for you would be "mi amor"

‌Finds it really attractive btw

‌When you're speaking your mother tongue he sees just how much comfortable you are

‌You literally shine in his eyes

‌He'd just be staring at you with heart eyes

‌And if you're learning Korean or English he'd be more than glad to help you overcome your difficulties with the language

‌Would be your personal professor fr

‌Speaks slower around you so you can understand everything, and wouldn't mind repeating himself at all

‌He knows that the language barrier can be a bit intimidating and that it can make you afraid of opening up completely

‌But he'd be so reassuring all the time

‌Really tries his best to comfort you when you need it and it doesn't matter the language, he makes is clear that he loves and will be with you all the time

Lee Know

‌If you had a hard time speaking Korean but still tried your best to communicate with him and his parents in Korean, he'd fall DEEP in love with you

‌He gives me major "I don't understand but I love you" vibes ngl

‌lmao he'd learn the bad words before anything else

‌If you're speaking your mother tongue when in the phone he'd try to guess what you're saying

‌Genuinely doesn't know what's going but he's invested

‌And he repeats some words after you say it

‌Not in a mocking way, he just finds it cool how the word sounds and keep repeating it to himself

‌Like if you speak french he'd be like "bonjour. Bonjour? Bonjour"

‌It's endearing

‌But yeah you'll have to translate everything to him later

‌He wants to know about the tea

‌Cooks your hometown dishes for you!!

Changbin

‌ If you have a foreign accent when speaking Korean or English he finds it adorable

‌ And he also finds your mother tongue adorable

‌ It doesn't matter if you speak one of the sexiest languages in the world

‌ This man finds it adorable

‌Eventually learns your language

‌He'll take classes, buy text books and everything

‌He truly believe that learning how to communicate with you (in every language for that matter) is like a "boyfriend duty"

‌So he'll be more than happy to learn

‌Tries to show his affection in ways that are not spoken as well so you both could surpass the language barrier

‌He'll get you flowers, gifts, would take you to amazing places, would have the best dates with you and everything you can ever think of

‌You'd have the best memories ever with him and no word would need to be said

Hyunjin

‌ Would ask you to teach him some pet names and sweet phrases in your language

‌ And would 100% say "I love you" in your mother tongue in certain moments

‌ Like in more intimate moments that he wants you to truly understand how much he loves you

‌ Would love if you replied with saying "I love you" in Korean

‌If you have a different accent than him when speaking Korean/English he might start speaking like you

‌yk when you get someone's accent just by living next to them

‌That's him

‌He finds it fancy

‌And when the boys tease him for this he might get shy but he's also so proud? Like "yeah I got it from my s/o :D"

‌Writes a letter to you once he finds confidence in speaking your language. It might have some mistakes here and there but it was so sweet, and the intention behind it was so lovely, that you couldn't help but tear up a bit when you read it for the first time

Han

‌Loves your culture so much

‌He'd ask you to show songs and movies and things like that in your language

‌Like if you're Indian he'd ask you to show him some Bollywood movies

‌He'd try to guess what they are saying and it's a whole game for him

‌He's there for the vibes honestly

‌But I think he'd end up learning a thing or two and later would like to learn the whole thing

‌Would incorporate your mother tongue in his songwriting I'm 100% sure

‌And!! would ask for songs recommendations so he could sing to you when you least expect it

‌Learns two words in your mother tongue, probably uses them in the wrong way, thinks he is fluent.

‌But he also knows a lot of slangs in your language, it's kinda surprising ngl

‌He'd occasionally drop a random slang in your language when talking to the kids and everyone would be like ???

‌"what did you say?"

Felix

‌ Learns your language to surprise you

‌ Like every time there is a break when he's practicing he'd open duolingo

‌(He'd have a hella long strike, 100 days in a row or smth)

‌When you're speaking on the phone with someone he tries to listen to it as a listening exercise

‌Is smiling to himself throughout the period of the call and when you ask the reason why he just brushes it off

‌Cooks your hometown dishes for you pt. 2!!

‌But seriously tho

‌He knows it's hard to be far from home, especially by yourself

‌So he really tries to make you feel at home

‌He will cook your nationals dishes, will sing songs in your language, will encourage you to speak in your mother tongue around him etc

‌:(

‌Also, 2 kids 1 room flashback

‌He likes to have meaningful conversations with you where he tells you how much he loves and appreciates you

‌Unlike Hyunjin, he'd say everything in English because it feels more genuine for him, as it's his first language

‌So if you're replying to him in your language, he'd feel SO happy

‌He thinks this is like a proof that everything you're saying comes from a deep place somehow. It makes him fall in love once again

Seungmin

‌ Wants to learn your language the moment you guys get in a serious relationship

‌ Besides wanting to be able to talk to you in your own comfort zone

‌He'd want to be able to talk to your friends and family who speaks your mother tongue

‌ Like the first time he sees your parents he'd be ready to talk to them

‌i'm so down bad for this man it's not even funny anymore

‌anyways

‌Would take you everywhere in Korea so he could show you a bit of his home (would tell stories about the places so excitedly)

‌And would love if he had the opportunity to go to your country

‌Would love it even more if you showed the place around to him and explained a bit about everything you know

‌If in the first stages of the relationship there is a language barrier, he'd plan dates that don't involve a lot of talking

‌Like he'd take you to concerts and karaokes

‌music is universal after all isn't it?

‌He always give his 100% into the relationship it's so cute

I.N

‌ Finds it really attractive pt2

‌ He loves your accent

‌ And he loves your mother tongue as well

‌ He could spend a whole day just listening to you speak, even if he doesn't understand a single word

‌ And if you're learning Korean, he'd love to see your progress and to see you getting more comfortable while speaking it

‌ I also see two possible scenarios:

‌ One, he'd wake up one day really determined to learn your language and wouldn't stop until he does

‌ Two, he'd never stop and actually learn it, but he'd end up catching up with some things you say and show to him. So in the end he'd know the basics and some essential phrases

‌I believe he'd genuinely enjoy to learn about your culture

‌Like, whenever a cultural shock comes up, he'd be invested in understanding it?

‌Of course sometimes there would be misunderstandings, but I truly think he would try to see the positive view rather than seeing only the cultural crash

‌He might even learn a thing or two and get your culture's habits

Feedback is very much appreciated!!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[bubbles0bop]

Yuta Okkotsu Relationship Headcanons

My craving for content has led me to this

Under the cut^

Contains: Fluff!, a little bit of suggestive content, Jealousy, implied f!reader, pretty much all fluffy tho

this goes without saying but he's a cuddler- he's not the type to feel emasculated if he was the little spoon or to have you basically cradling him into your chest

you can't tell when you first get into a relationship, but he is the jealous type. he's honestly embarrassed about it so he tries to hide it at first but as you both become more comfortable, he starts to show his attachment more. Any time he catches a guy in your DMs he'll bashfully throw a couple of questions about this mystery guy before requesting you block him.

he will be very clingy for the rest of the day

he is a gift giver and he pays such close attention to the things you like online and suddenly, at the next chance he gets, they'll show up on your nightstand

he'll even do this as he's away on missions, sending you little notes, chocolates, and tokens of his affection so you know you're loved from afar 🩷

dates would be a little bit rare only because he would prefer to sit at home and do domestic activities like baking, cuddling, watching a movie, CUDDLING--

when he does take you out of dates it's usually very caring and a little bit elaborate, like taking you to the museum that you mentioned 6 months ago, or renting out a diner to yourselves (ugh i just love him- )

he's constantly attentive to you, which i think is one of his love languages. He will bring up things that even you forgot you said, "oh baby, here- i bought you this heating pad since you mentioned that your back sometimes hurts after school/work." 😭

don't even get me started about how he would treat you in your period he would feel so bad

when he'll come back from long missions, it usually means that he hasn't slept in days. he'll come to you with a nice warm hug before collapsing on the bed hoping you can cuddle him to a well needed sleep 🫶

he does like to have his personal attention, which means a lot of the time when you go out he'll either ask to go with you or hit you with the "but why can't you stay here and cuddle? 🥺"

god he's adorable. he doesn't mean to keep you away from your friends but he'll just miss you so much

I also get the vibe that he can cook so if you do decide to spend the night in, it'll consist of him treating you to your favorite meal. he'll have his sleeves rolled up while he hovers over the stove, you watching adoringly from the kitchen counter

maybe he'll even finish it off with a sweet treat 🫶

It mentions on the anime that he does have a preference for larger chests but i imagine that, like yuuji, that doesn't really affect his attraction to anyone

also i'm ngl i do kind of imagine him as kind of a closet perv, super touchy, but in a loving way

Note- let me know if you want more headcanons or if you would like other characters!

[d3adp00ls]

Omg what if Vanessa x reader where they are married and they have a nice slow day where they are on ther periods or something and are super clingy and touchy and make cake or something

Heart To Heart

Vanessa (fnaf movie) x reader

Summary: See request

Contents: Pure fluff like seriously I’m single and writing this shit made me feel lonely, periods, so that means talk of blood, Vanessa is literally me in the beginning, food fights, attempt at baking, tickle fight, kisses, i want someone like this.

Word count: Go to McDonalds and ask for a double quarter pounder with fries and chicken nuggets with bbq sauce, the cashier should then tell you what the word count is.

side note: I got carried away ngl and now it’s less of a period fic than it is just a goofy fluff fic and I’m sorry about that anon 😅if you don’t like this one feel free to request another period fic and I can definitely try again. ALSO, I WAS LISTENING TO HEART TO HEART BY MAC DEMARCO ON REPEAT WHILE WRITING THIS, AND ISTG THAT SONG MAKES ME FEEL THINGS!!

Side note #2: I hate cake…I STILL WROTE ABOUT CAKE THO CUZ I KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT (kudos to my older sister for teaching me when I was younger)…but I hate it it tastes like dirt with frosting on it I never liked it. ALSO AS YOU CAN SEE HOW USED MY BIG BRAIN AND REALIZED I COULD NAME THE STORY AFTER THE SONG I PLAYED ON REPEAT LIKE A GENIUS.

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The warm sunlight poured in through the windows, casting a gentle glow over you and Vanessa as you snuggled in your shared bed. Your bodies were entwined beneath the soft covers, and as the light stirred you awake, you nuzzled your face into Vanessa's chest. She responded by pulling you closer and resting her head on top of yours. Just as you were about to drift back to sleep, a loud noise jolted you both awake. With puzzled expressions, you sat up and looked at the bedside table where the noise was coming from.

"Did you forget to turn off your alarm?" you asked, watching as Vanessa reached over to turn it off.

"I must have," she groaned, hitting the alarm button to silence it.

You got out of bed, ready to start your day. Vanessa watched as you gathered a towel, one of her oversized shirts, and some comfortable clothing before she spoke up.

"Where are you going?" she asked, still sounding sleepy.

"I'm going to freshen up, I feel like I've bled all over the sheets," you replied, your voice slightly hoarse from just waking up.

Vanessa hummed in response, rearranging the sheets you had been lying on. She looked up at you with a concerned expression.

"There's no blood, my love," she reassured you, causing you to smile at her thoughtfulness.

"Still, I think it would be best if I shower now," you said with a hint of amusement. Vanessa moved to sit on your side of the bed and reached out for you to come closer.

"Please, can you stay in bed a little longer? If you happen to bleed, I'll clean it up," she pleaded, her voice still muffled from burying her face in your stomach.

"I don't want to get up right now," she whined, and you couldn't help but giggle at her adorable pout.

"It's already 12 pm, love. We've already missed half the day," you reminded her, causing her to groan.

"So what? We've worked hard all week, we deserve these few days off," she argued, crossing her arms and looking at you with a defeated expression.

"That's true," you agreed with a soft smile. You took a step back, causing her to let go of you, and she pouted even more.

"But you know what else is fun to do when we're both on our monthly cycle?" you asked, a mischievous glint in your eye.

"What?" Vanessa grunted, her arms still crossed.

"Taking a shower and baking a cake with the person you love most," you said, watching as her eyes widened in surprise.

"But if you'd rather stay in bed all day, that's fine too," you added with a shrug, before turning and walking towards the bathroom. You could hear Vanessa rustling around in the bedroom before she ran after you with a cheeky smile.

"I thought you wanted to sleep in," you teased, looking at her playfully as you took off your shirt.

"I wanted to sleep in with you. Plus, I don't want to leave you alone while you shower," she said, giving you a kiss on the cheek before undressing alongside you.

"Oh totally," you replied with a laugh, turning on the water in the shower.

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"Okay, so now we need four room-temperature eggs that have been separated," Vanessa calls out to you as you grab the eggs from the counter and a bowl.

"Wait, separated? Do you mean in different bowls?" you ask, looking at the eggs and the one bowl you had taken out.

Vanessa laughs and you look up at her, confused. She shakes her head with a smile and puts down the baking book she was reading from before moving to stand behind you.

"No, my love, separatied means separating the yolk from the egg whites. Can you hand me an egg?" she playfully whispers in your ear.

You hand her an egg and she stands next to you, cracking it against the counter and separating the yolk from the egg white by passing it between the two shells until only the yolk remains.

"See? It's not that difficult," she says with a smile, breaking you from your trance. You return the smile and say, "Yeah, I've got this."

As you continue to separate the eggs and put them in the bowl, Vanessa moves around the kitchen, preparing the other ingredients.

"Done!" you exclaim, looking at Vanessa. She curses under her breath and you drop the empty egg shells in shock. Vanessa had accidentally dropped the flour on her head while reaching for it on the top shelf. You cover your mouth to stifle the laugh that wants to escape as you watch her.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just excited to do this right and-" Before you can finish apologizing, Vanessa throws the rest of the flour on you, causing you to gasp in surprise. You stand in shock as she laughs.

"Nessa! What the hell?" you exclaim, surprised. Vanessa continues to laugh as you grab one of the egg yolks from the counter and smear it on her face. She stops laughing as you rub the yolk on her face, then wipes it away to look at you with a playful glare.

"Now you're in trouble," she says, grabbing the rest of the yolks and smushing them on your face. You groan and wipe the yolk off, spitting out any that got into your mouth.

Vanessa continues to laugh as you complain about the yolk in your mouth. She runs to get towels and two glasses of water before returning and handing you a towel. You wipe your face and apologize for laughing, then pick up one of the glasses of water and pour it on Vanessa's head, causing her to gasp and close her eyes.

"Y/n!" she shouts, and you laugh as you run away. Vanessa wipes her face with her sleeve before chasing after you and tackling you onto the couch.

"Hey, stop! You're going to get the couch wet and dirty," you say, laughing as she tickles you. Vanessa finally stops and walks away for a moment, giving you time to catch your breath. But before you can, she comes back with the other glass of water. You try to protest, but she throws the water on you before you can finish. You groan as she giggles and says, "Now we're even."

"Let's go finish this cake," Vanessa says, laughing as she walks back to the kitchen. You call out that you'll get her back and fall back onto the now-wet couch, not caring if it gets any dirtier.

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You lay snuggled up against Vanessa on the couch as an old romance show played on the television. She had her arms wrapped around you as you picked at the remnants of cake on your plate, gazing absentmindedly at the TV. Vanessa's lips snapped you out of your daydream as she planted a soft kiss on your head, causing you to smile and look up at her.

"Hi," you say with a smile, and she smiles back before nodding towards the plate in your hand.

"Are you going to finish that?" she asks, and you look down at the plate before shaking your head and playing with the plastic fork.

"Nah, do you want the last bite?" you offer, looking back up at her. She nods eagerly, and you hand her the plate.

"Can you feed it to me, though?" she asks with a mischievous glint in her eye. You raise an eyebrow, wondering what she's up to, but ultimately nod and move to straddle her. As you hand her the fork, she grabs your leg and pulls it over her waist, holding onto your waist as you lean down to feed her the last bite of cake.

"This is extra, you could have just taken the plate from me," you comment, slightly annoyed but unable to hide your smile.

"I know, but you look cute when you're flustered," Vanessa teases, smirking up at you. You playfully roll your eyes before planting a quick kiss on her lips.

"Let's go shower now," you say, trying to get up, but Vanessa's grip on your waist tightens.

"One more kiss," she pleads, and you sigh, knowing she won't let you go until you comply. You give her a tight-lipped smile before leaning down to give her another quick kiss, but she surprises you by deepening the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth. You moan against her lips as you taste the cake on her tongue.

As the kiss intensifies, you feel Vanessa's hand move from the back of your head to rest on your cheek, and she breaks the kiss, her thumb lightly tracing your bottom lip. You catch your breath, looking down at her with a dazed expression.

"Do you still want to shower?" she asks with a playful glint in her eye, and you shyly nod, hiding your face in the crook of her neck.

"But we should take one together to save water," you suggest, your voice muffled against her skin. Vanessa hums in agreement, her voice teasing as she replies, "Sure, just because you want to save water."

You can't help but smile against her neck as you lift your head to look at her with a mock serious expression.

"Vanessa, that's gross. We both have our periods," you say, feigning disgust at what she was suggesting. But Vanessa just shrugs, not fazed by your comment.

"So what?" she replies with a smirk, and you can't help but laugh at her nonchalant response.

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Tbh idk if this is short or long but I can tell you it sucks ass but I’m so fucking tired with school and shit I got lazy at the ending and I’m so sorry abt that 😭 I promise future fics won’t be this ass.

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE PETER PARKER HEADCANONS

Bold of you to even assume you'll be left alone and have your privacy with this boi here. Bby boi here loves you so much, you're the very reason he's living and you're like AIR for him. If he's not close to you, he feels like he's shattering and dying inside and hence, he might stalk you every now and then as Spiderman pretending he's on rounds around the city just to make sure you're safe

He is a literal puppy mark my words and when you deny him something, his expression will resemble that of a kicked puppy that'll tug your heart strings for SURE

"Baby do you REALLY HAVE to go to that party? I mean, you barely even know them you just met them 2 months ago~"

Will beg you to spend every single second of your time with him and as a yandere, I can clearly see him as a worshipper who'll worship TF outta you pal

If you go out somewhere without telling him, expect a dozen messages on your phone and 45 FREAKING MISSED CALLS!!! Ngl..... he just wants you to be safe and once you come back, he'll smother you with his love and affection and pepper your face with kisses

His aunt May adores you and treats you like her very daughter. She likes baking you muffins and cookies when you come by

Hates it when you talk to other people and he's clearly making an exception for MJ and Ned though he prefers if you talk to them less. He's just scared of losing you

He'll kidnap you if he thinks you're in danger which lets say happens after a month you 2 start dating. Don't worry, he'll stock up everything you love and he'll have all your favorite movies and books available for you and he'll even be so generous as to have a Wattpad and a tumblr account so long as you do your stuff on HIS phone and he keeps track of what you're posting

He absolutely HATES and DESPISES punishing you when you misbehave and as much as he loves you, he'll convince himself that he needs to discipline you for your own good. Nothing too drastic though, he'll just restrict you from using your favorite things and no screen time. You'll be bored outta your skull for sure but hey, at least he's not locking you up in a room with chains dangling around you

When it comes to other people who he thinks are trying to steal his sweetheart from him (Aka. YOU), he will not hesitate to get messy and kill someone. He'll try framing that person like convincing people he was a corrupt person or an illegal drug seller or something like that and either spread rumors or directly kill them. No one messes with his darling and gets the hell away with it, not if he can help it and YES, he CAN help it

Will use EDITH to make sure you're safe

"Oh sweetheart, you have nothing to worry about, I'll take care of everything for you. You won't leave me will you?"

[xxmaddyxx]

Poking your stomach rolls mha edition!

haikyuu editions on my masterlist :) contents - literally just mha bbys poking your stomach bcs its adorable

baby boy bakugou first ofc

so you guys decided to have a movie night at his dorm bcs it had been a long week of school

you were in the kitchen making popcorn when you heard him come up behind you

he wrapped his arms around our waist and grumbled "how much longer"

"about 2 minutes"

he grumbled again and buried his face in the crook of your neck

"impatient much?" you smiled

"just leave it i wanna go watch the movie"

you softly scratched his head which was still on your shoulder

"babes im sure you can last 2 more minutes"

"i wanna cuddle though..." he whispers

"why are we whispering?" you looked at him

"i don't want them to hear" as your friends were in the common room

"ohh mkay then"

his hands found their way under your sweatshirt and he softly squished your plushiness

"whacha doin there"

"i really like this little squish, it's cute" he whispered again

"thanks :) oh the popcorn's done!"

"good" he then picked you up and wrapped your legs around his waist with the popcorn in your hand

and ofc mina saw you from the common room, took a picture of you guys and sent it to you later

alrighty bby sero's time to shine

he texted you asking you to come to his dorm

mind you it was like 2 am but whatever

but after some convincing you grabbed a pillow and made your way to his dorm

you opened the door and saw his figure on the bed, literally posing

"what could you possible need at 2 am babe" you rubbed your eyes and closed the door

he shot his tape at you and pulled you onto the bed causing you to yelp a lil bit

"what was that forrr" you whined

"you look so cute in your pj's i couldn't help myself" he wrapped his arms around you and squished your stomach

"will you stop it" you said, already half asleep

"what, your tummy's so cute" he pouted

"fine. just let me sleep please" you kissed his nose

he sighed dramatically, "i guessss, but i'm using your stomach as a pillow"

"mhm now shush"

oml i love him

last but defo not least, bby shoto

honestly your tummy is literally his favorite part about you

and your thighs ofc he just seems like a thigh guy ngl

ANYWAY

okok hear me out-

you guys went to the gym kinda early so there was literally no one there

you did not wanna get up but he promised you a breakfast date and ofc that worked

and you're doing like the tricep dip things and he's holding your waist like spotting you yk

and when your arms finally gave, he wrapped his entire arms around you and put you down

"see it wasn't that bad" he said as he pressed a kiss to your head

"i can't feel my arms" you let your arms go limb to show him

"baby, just think of the amazing food you'll get later" he said as he went to get more weights

you sat down on the bench and a lil roll was poppin yk

he turned around and looked lovingly at your figure

"babe i'm seeing a booty pump"

you looked at him like an idiot "we haven't done any butt exercises shoto"

"well it's lookin good then" he sat next to you and you rested your head on his shoulder

he wrapped his arm around your frame and grabbed your rolls like a stress ball

my heart

"can we gooo pleasseee"

"y/n we've been here for 10 minutes"

"and?"

[my-castles-crumbling]

I have a problem Cas… I think im in love. 

Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this. 

I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life. 

So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone. 

Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex). 

So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).

And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.

Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).

So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real. 

BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest. 

But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).

And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.

I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar. 

We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start. 

It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food. 

We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.

So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet. 

(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue. 

She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white. 

It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on. 

We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same). 

So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm. 

She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes. 

But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell. 

But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last. 

My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed. 

I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.

All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.

(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess) 

But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.  

I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday. 

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments. 

One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day. 

Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.

The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦‍♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).  

Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have. 

So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️

Hi <3

If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.

Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.

If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.

As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.

Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.

God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).

I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.

[the-wild-candy]

Pac - Your future love story through a dream

𓄼ꕤ༘ Pick-a-card reading 𓄼ꕤ༘

➳ In this reading, I will be looking at your love story but will rather explain it as to how it might happen in a dream. The dream will be described in scenes (scene 1, scene 2 and scene 3) wherein I'll channel the major adorable moments which might take place between you and your person.

➳ How to pick a pile : imagine that these are the cards laying out in front of you. You flip each card and the one which has your picture beneath it, has your message.

➳ Please note that none of my readings are gender specific. I have mentioned energies and not genders.

➳ This is for entertainment purposes only. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

➳ Credit to pinterest for these pictures.

৫Pile 1

➪ Scene 1 - TW : nsfw messages, cuss words

Vision : a couple dancing very passionately, possibly latin or salsa. It looks like a theater/cinema/stage. The masculine is twirling the feminine around. The huge black curtains in the background fall. It looks like the masculine energy is showing something grand to their partner. The feminine here, looks very surprised, almost as if they are in awe. They turn to look back at masculine, and gives them a very sweet smile. It'll almost make the other person blush a little. In return the masculine person gives the feminine a very shy smile. I am also hearing "I'll never forget the way you look tonight".

Your partner really wants to make you happy. They are gonna adore you so much. They'll be proud to have you by their side. I am also sensing adoration and gentleness flowing in waves through this person. They are just so happy to be there with you, to spend time with you. I heard someone whisper "I love you". This person would be ready to give it their all. Oh my god I also heard "I am making moves like I'm in a movie" lmfao please, so they got a sense of humor. This person is a no bullshit person for sure. They barely give a fuck about people except the ones they actually care about. They can easily access people. But if they are interested, they put efforts and that is what will happen with you too!

I also feel like this person is all up for the spice. Y'all gonna get down and dirty for sure. You'll love how intense their stare is gonna be. Remember the dancing part? It was hot ngl. I am seeing hands on the hips, and grinding on each other too. They are gonna love your chest/breasts. They might be the type to get horny while looking at you dancing at some party and then looking for a place to have sex. They can be an exhibitionist. I am also hearing "country flavor". Oh well. They can have a really good voice too. Also rich. Also getting a good physique. Man, they got it all.

You or your person could be going through a change or some sort of a transformation when this happens. There will be a lot of eyes on your person. Since I am channeling messages as to what will happen during this particular moment, this could also mean that this will be the first time they said "I love you" to you in front of people. Or the people saw a glimpse of what you two are like together. I am sensing that this will happen late at night. Someone will be making plans to move out or they'll be leaving the place they are currently staying in. There is some nervousness/anxiety around this particular area tho. You'll both create a perfect balance. There will be a lot of unity and attraction between the two of you. I honestly love this union sm.

Things which might resonate - kisses on the knuckles/hand, eye contact, red and black colors, fancy, longing passionate stares, soft smiles. I am also seeing brown curly hair and a very charming smile.

➪ Scene 2

Vision : a couple is cuddling on the beach. It looks like a small picnic, probably some local area. They are both clicking goofy pictures. Kicking the sand and walking along the beach while holding hands. Hot blazing sun. Looking at the waves while breeze brushes the feminine's hair. Chasing each other around the beach and then getting piggy back rides.

This moment is more sweet and shy than the last one. I heard "hoping someday you'll be mine" and "holding on to this moment instead". You both see each other as equals. The major emphasis here is on being side by side, walking side by side. Your person would think of you as someone who is very precious. Simple soft touches, they are gonna create so much emotional bonding between the two of you. It's like a hug after a long tiring day. It's a simple gesture but it creates a huge impact on the other person. The feminine energy here is gonna be bubbling with joy, it'll just be that evident on their face. You'll both be each other's escape when you need to be. In this particular moment, there is courage and strength in your togetherness.

The energy is cheerful and very open. While you're at it, I think you guys decided to visit the beach just for a break. You could even be celebrating something! I feel like you'll have many nicknames for each other. I heard "I don't wanna leave yet". One or both of you could have physical touch as their love language because in scene two, the major emphasis was on touch itself. Whenever this happens, I think this will be the time when you'll be willing to move forward with this relationship. This will be decided mutually, of course. From this moment, things might turn a bit more intimate + stronger feelings than before. Things will get serious and this is something you won't see coming because it will be very unexpected.

Things which might resonate - blonde hair, blue sheets, goggles, camera, a dimple, strawberries, stars and dreams, stealing glances, the color white, the letter 'H', piggy back rides, laughing loudly.

➪ Scene 3

Vision : the masculine is standing alone in a room, reading something like a journal. The feminine walks rushes in. The feelings are very intense and emotional. They both embrace each other tightly. It looks like this happened either after a fight or after a period of separation. Probably because of some misunderstanding. Teary eyes. A soft yet passionate kiss to the lips, and then they both walk out of the door.

I feel like both of you are very adventurous. And if that's not the case then you certainly do feel so when you are with each other. This scene felt emotional and tense. I heard "talk to me. There is nothing which can't be fixed with some honesty". I also feel like the feminine was angry at something which left the masculine sad and disappointed. Their energy is more melancholic. Although I also feel like its gonna be sorted when the person with feminine energy understands what the deal really was because I do see them approaching the other person first and then clearing out whatever doubts they had. I think the masculine energy was almost gonna cry tbh. But your touch would comfort them. I heard "i know i can be complicated" (feminine energy).

I honestly feel that you'll both only grow after this happens between the two of you. I heard "we're right here". You are extremely important to your person. Yes, I was asked to put emphasis on this. I feel like this can happen due to communication issues. I feel like the masculine wasn't able to pick up the feminine's calls or couldn't devote them any time, which could be why they got mad at the first place. I heard "we only have one conversation a week". You both are each other's secure place, emotionally too. I am sensing that it'll all start falling into place again and that will bring you immense satisfaction. It will be a journey of joy after grief. Almost as if you've overcome another milestone together. I heard "do you want me?". You and your person both could feel very sad and heartbroken whenever this happens.

Things which might resonate : the color yellow, blinds, bright street lights, black/white, yin and yang, november, "I'll call you tomorrow", "my eyes were open¿", drums, beats, dreams, westside, noon-night, sparks and stars.

৫Pile 2

➪ Scene 1

Vision : the feminine energy is very bubbly here. I am seeing two people walking on the street, passing through a cafe. The feminine is literally pulling the masculine after them (in a very cute way). They reach a tourist place, and the person with feminine energy points towards a mountain, some place high up in there, sort of like showing the masculine that particular area and telling them more about it. Their energy is so cheery, I'm literally seeing them jumping up and down. The person with the masculine energy is gonna follow them around with a shake of head and a chuckle following through. The feminine here, is the type to make faces while drinking boba and the masculine just laughs along with them. I am also hearing "this is love".

You both could be opposites in some way. I am hearing violins playing, I feel like this union will be as romantic and cliche as a k-drama lol. "Living life" is being emphasized here. I am also hearing "there's nobody here except us". I am sensing that you could show each other your comfort places and just spend time together without bothering about who is there and who is not. You'll both feel extremely joyful and happy with each other. It's like a two melodies mingling together, creating a symphony. The moto here is to have fun and enjoy to its fullest. I am also hearing "I can't lose you".

You will be a very positive influence in your person's life. As lighthearted your energy is, your person's energy is rather heavy. Not in a negative way tho. Another thing I'm getting here is that you'll love to kiss each other. I heard "like warm hands and gloves". I feel like you'll both fit perfectly together in a frame. I am seeing seasons passing by, while there's you two sticking together. I heard "will you be here when I wake up?", the other person replies "I promise" and they go back to sleep. This is so adorable. I am also being shown a rose here.

Your person could be very good with their words and I don't just mean this romantically but also otherwise ykwim? They are good at arguing (not with you, in general). Talk about cliche, bad boy-goofy good girl shi. They own up to their words. They have a cut-clear sharp view of the world which might be very opposite to that of yours. You'll approach each other is a calm and compassionate way. The energy here is also very comforting. In this moment/scene, you will feel at peace in all ways, whether it is emotionally, mentally or even physically. You two make the other person feel comfortable and that is what really matters. You two could be friends before you get into a relationship. All those times you've spent wishing for your person, they'll feel like a reward to you when you actually meet them. I also feel like one of you faces a hard time while letting go of the past but the other partner will immensely help them in doing so.

Things that might resonate - chemical formulas, I saw their outfits too -the feminine wore a black overcoat with a red scarf and masculine wore a sweater with blue jeans, New York, walking away from toxicity, lovely weather.

➪ Scene 2

Vision : the feminine is standing in front of a huge jewelry store staring at some items through a glass window. While they're at it, the masculine energy holds their hands and takes them inside. They are ready to buy the feminine anything, literally. Sincerely because they want to do so. I am also seeing them randomly picking out flowers to give them to the feminine person, who is still in shock. And in that very moment, the masculine person gives their partner a forehead kiss. I am hearing "you are so much more than gorgeous".

I am also hearing "nightmares turned into dreams". Something this person possibly stayed away from, or was scared of, you made them get over it. They appreciate you so much. Probably more than you can imagine. They will be willing to listen to you all the time. I am hearing "am I crazy for waiting". There is so much desire here. You make each other feel special. I am hearing "I am just trying to get close to you". They would want to get you everything. They want to see you happy, and if gifts (according to them) can do so, they'll do it without wasting any time. Someone here is a foodie, this person is gonna buy you yummy food too aww lol. This could also mean that gift giving is one of their love languages.

I am sensing that your person could've faced some serious family issues, which is why seeing you being the way you are made them so happy. This person is very secure financially tho. They move very practically. They have accomplished a good ton of things in their life but with that, they also feel burdened because of the responsibilities which comes with it. I am hearing "moon and some fine wine". You are like a relaxing day after days of labour to them. Someone who almost feels like a dream, or a mirage. I also feel like they are gonna hype you up so much, literally all the time. I love this!

Things which might resonate - slow music, confidence, the color white-mixed with pink and red, skirts and dresses, lipsticks, attention, simp (cute).

➪ Scene 3

Vision : it's looks like a carnival. The couple are eating cotton candy together. They take a few rides and giggle at little things. The feminine has their hand wrapped around masculine's arm. They see a small boy passing by. They softly smile at each other and the feminine keeps their head on the other partner's shoulder.

I feel like this will happen when you're both either married or are extremely serious about each other. One of you could have their love language as spending quality time together. I am hearing "you make me feel pretty from the inside" awwww. There is so much to love and cherish here. It can almost feel like a dream to you. Stares filled with love is gonna be a thing for you. I am sensing that many of you like long drives, especially on the starry nights. Your union will move at a slow pace but it will feel so fulfilling.

I am hearing "you can see my soul". Its possible that you'll already know that they are gonna be your person and vice versa, which is why it would genuinely feel so secure and stable. I am also getting that you or your person could both love each other's eyes. I feel like you'll both put equal efforts to make this relationship work. You would want to make it work. You'll create so many sweet memories together. This connection will be immensely healing for the both of you. This could also be a past lifes/soulmate connection. You might even feel like you already know each other. A very supportive and a nurturing union!

Things which might resonate - red hair, melody (as a name), emrald eyes, home, racing hearts - calm thoughts, happy memories, balloons, blue skies.

৫Pile 3

➪ Scene 1

Vision : the couple are in their home. For some of you, y'all are making clay pots and for others, y'all are making food together. The energy is very playful here. There is gonna be a lot of mess around you. For clay pots, I am seeing that you'll be literally rubbing clay on each other, in a playful way. I am specifically seeing the masculine pouring clay on the feminine's head while they laugh and squirm but can't do anything about it. It looks like a scene straight out of a rom-com lol.

I am hearing "you feel like a warm hug to me". Your connection seems to be the type where you start talking with eyes, if that makes any sense. It holds a lot of depth. You'll both be willingly sinking into it. I am seeing happiness overpowering melancholy from your lives. It's a type of union you crave. The feminine energy here either likes dancing or is good at dancing without knowing it. I am also seeing a very pretty smile here. I am hearing "I never felt so alive". I think many of you like to keep things private too since I ain't honestly getting much here. In this scene, this playfulness will be very much needed in your lives because this will happen after a period of exhaustion.

You might think that things are going downhill and you need a break from things in general. Your person is very responsible when it comes to the people who are close to them. They are efficent and a hardworker. I am also sensing that they are a loyal, but a stubborn partner. During this moment, you will be working on your long term goals/career and so will they. You might experience something new when this happens, like a spark or a new feeling ignited from a scratch.

Things which might resonate - messy buns, loose tshirts, warm hugs, white tops, rainbows, "catch me", loud laughs, reliable and stable.

➪ Scene 2

Vision : they are sitting on something which looks close to a cliff? The energy is again playful and sweet here. The couple are trying to annoy each other a little. They get up and the place changes. I feel like you'll be on a vacation when this will happen. I am seeing y'all travelling and changing vehicles. Clicking aesthetic + goofy pictures together. Honestly, it looks like you'll be having fun during this moment. Both the feminine and the masculine energies look very lively.

I feel like if one person refuses to do something adventurous, their partner will push them forward and make them do it just for experience. There can be some drinking involved too, but everything will be lighthearted and comfortable. Someone here likes motorcycle/bike rides? This could be both of you too. Y'all are my adventurous couple pile, fr. I am sensing that as soon as you wake up, you'll be up and ready to go about your day. Might have a huge itenary. You are your person can like to take breaks in between the journey. It can also be a road trip, or a world tour! I also feel like your person likes to really take care of you. Getting you flowers, treating you with some wine, and then leaving you dirty little notes. They are the type to hold the door open for you. This can take place some time in summer.

Like I said, I feel like you both were trying to make fun of each other and it only made the other partner laugh harder than before. Y'ALL THIS IS SO CUTE, I just heard "faking apology after a fight". So if you guys have small arguments or something, you and your person aren't the type to stretch the shit out of the conversation. Instead, you'll just say sorry, kiss and make up. Your person seems to be very kind and patient, but also fun loving. They can pull off both the serious as well as the 'having fun' look. OH I got a thing of how you'll annoy each other¿ I saw the feminine lying on the bed, asking the masculine to turn off the lights but the masculine energy person keeps switching the lights on and off which annoys the feminine energy person and they end up throwing pillows at the masculine till they turn off the lights. Although this can also turn into a pillow fight ngl.

You two could also mirror each other in some way. Okay I am seeing smth more-yall stop omg

"You're good" *sips coffee/drink*

"What?"

"You're good, dumbass" *flicks the other person's forehead"

Things which might resonate - icecream, stereo, mirrors, 11:30, clubs, Vietnam, boats, fog, long skirts, thin white cardigans, braveheart, *brings out nerf guns*

➪ Scene 3

Vision : it looks like a cruise. I am seeing the couple about to dive into the ocean. One of them takes a deep breath, and then they both proceed to jump. Once they rise up again, they laugh but the expression soon changes to staring off at a distance, and then a smile.

A lot of emotions are being reflected here. I feel like you'll be trying many things with this person which you didn't before. I am hearing "your eyes opened mine". With you both, it's the little actions which reflect love and affection. There's so much you two will gain and learn together in this union. This is also the only pile I got the lovers for :3

This connection will be divinely guided. Your energies are complimentary to each other. It might look complex to others, it's just the way people will view the two of you. But you'll fit perfectly together. Even when things go south, your commitment towards each other gives y'all a choice to bloom or doom further. If one of you is curious about something, you won't hesitate to hide your curiosity. There won't be any need of that. I am also hearing "blessings". This union will bring you warmth and healing. It's like the wounds remain, but they turn into pretty scars instead of hurtful memories, if that makes any sense. Comfort is also being emphasized here.

Things which might resonate - cobalt blue, subtle, echos, morning light, guitar, laptop screens, past nourishing the future, "I will love you like I do".

© the-wild-candy All rights reserved 2022

I don't allow anyone to plagiarize or rewrite the content produced by me.

[basilly]

i love you

sypnopsis: the different ways they say "i love you"

includes: tsukkishima, atsumu, akaashi, osamu, & kita

warnings: wc 865, swearing, no pronouns mentioned

creds to @sixosix for these prompts

tsukishima kei | “you're a dumbass"

now who would he be if he just outright said "i love you"? he shows his affection through relentless teasing- all out of love though.

"kei... i accidentally ran into the table." "what-"

you rubbed your hip, in attempt to soothe the pain. tsukishima stared at you in disbelief.

"it's?? a massive table y/n" "okay and i have ZERO self awareness" "were you looking at your phone?" "... maybe.... look i was listening to that song you sent me-"

tsukishima starts chuckling before wrapping his arms around you. a small yet fond smile grows on his face.

"you're a dumbass"

miya atsumu | “you could punch me in the face and i would still want you ngl.”

atsumu gets under your skin very often- he has a talent for doing so. but you can't help but adore and love him, he's your precious boyfriend.

you rubbed your temples, trying to register what atsumu was saying. you thought he had been trying to tell you something miniscule.

"'sumu, pause. what are you rambling about?" "i just- i lost the bracelet you gave me and i tried to find it all day, and i thought you'd be mad at me and-"

you almost frowned at the way he was so scared to tell you he lost the bracelet you gave him- which, was like four years ago. you were surprised he had kept it this long.

"oh 'sumu, you should've told me. it's okay, honestly we've had them for so long we should probably get new ones." ".. you're not mad? your not going to like- smack my head?"

you cup his cheeks, placing a small kiss on his nose.

"of course not." "okay- but for the record, you could punch me in the face and i could still want you."

akaashi keiji | “i trust you. it’s okay.”

akaashi takes special care for his things. they may be well worn, but he magically keeps them in good condition. he will always let you borrow his things, but you do try to keep it exactly how you took it.

"are you sure keiji?"

you carefully caressed a gently worn book in your hands. it was his favorite book- you never got the chance to read it with everything in your life going on, but your schedule was finally calming down.

you were a little worried when he offered it for you to borrow. you already decided you're not going to let any liquids near it and keep it in a plastic bag. whenever you could.

to akaashi, he would let you borrow everything from him- no matter what is was. he placed his hands over yours and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before looking you in the eye.

"i trust you, it's okay. you can borrow whatever you need from me anytime."

miya osamu | “hey…” [hesitates] “be safe, alright?”

osamu is a worrier, an overthinker. he's cautious when you go out at night alone- he doesn't want you to be in a dangerous situation. but as simply best friends, he is in no place to intrude on your decisions.

"okay- i'll be back in a little bit, just heading to the convenience store." "what? this late?"

he sat back against the couch cushions, reading up on a new cookbook. he had come over again for your weekly movie night but the movie was long over by now. turning his attention to you, he took in your appearance once more.

seeing you- in a comfortable setting, full of domesticity, made his heart ache. he thought of the many times he could have confessed, but he wouldn't ruin anything you had to take the risk.

thus, his "i love you"'s are hidden behind words, actions, and gifts. not that you would ever notice, he hopes.

“hey…” [hesitates] “be safe, alright?”

for now he would hide, thinking of how he's too much of a coward.

kita shinsuke | “this—” [points at their chest] “—this belongs to you. always.”

he never hid his feelings to you- always straightforward, to the point your legs almost gave out. he never failed to make your face feel hot, ears almost catching fire out of embarassment.

"are you sure you don't want to come?" "it's atsumu's bachelor party! i couldn't"

you sat on the bed, watching kita button up his shirt. atsumu had planned to take his groomsmen to a nearby club- his fiance had immediately shut down the idea of a strip club (which you were glad for). fiddling with your fingers, you couldn't help but sit there anxiously.

"i can just stay home if you don't like the idea of me going."

you sigh before meeting his eye.

"no- it's okay, really."

a moment of silence passed before you spoke up again, timidly.

".. but what if a really pretty girl came up to you?"

kita almost laughed out loud, pausing from finishing up his tie to walk over to you. kneeling in front of you, he took your hands in his.

"y/n. this- "

he gentured to his chest, right at his heart.

"-- belongs to you. always. and this-"

he taps your engagement ring.

"solidifies it."

you laugh out of embarassment, smooshing your face in his neck.

"okayokay."

[jezebelgoldstone]

RRR (2022, dir S. S. Rajamouli)

things i am not now and likely never will get over from RRR

DRIFT COMPATIBLE BATTLE COUPLE DETECTED

queer? platonic? queerplatonic? who gives a shit no matter what it was it was AWESOME

Colonialism Is Bad Actually: The Musical

the symbolism. holy shit. every BIT of it was absolutely amazing.

wow all the mains in this movie are just, really hot? my poor lil pan heart had a rough time with this one ngl

the fact that someone (likely many someones) watched this movie about Colonialism Is Bad Actually and said 'you know what let's dub this whole thing into Hindi and English and then not give an option to watch it with the original Telugu dialogue' sure was,,,,,,,,, A Choice

THE MUSIC

by which i mean the actual song-and-dance numbers as well as the like story soundtrack all of it is going on my playlist asap

listen the spirk-behind-glass scene is awful. spock and kirk can't even touch. they can hear. they can see. but they cannot touch. and i in my sweet ignorant bliss thought that was as bad as it could get.

tonight i learned that holding someone in your arms through the bars of their cell is so much worse

I watched it on Netflix but i looked it up on a few other ahem websites and on EVERY SINGLE ONE Telugu audio wasn't even an option.

there was not one single chance to tie things together or make a connection or do a setup/payoff or callback that was not taken. not a single one.

everything about this movie is 100% Extra

in short: this movie is a masterclass

aaaaaand the rest below a cut because WOW i have a lot to say actually

which brings me to the dancing oh my gods. not sure i've ever seen such enthusiastic dancing in anything in my entire life. seriously by the final number i was exhausted just watching them

in general, this movie is: stunning

"RAM." "BHEEM." "SEETHA." IT'S ABOUT THE SYMBOLISM.

also this was kinda hilarious because i watched it in hindi [the least disorienting option] and they kept SAYING "ram" but in the subs it was always fuckin RAJU so like. again with the Choices. like seriously what was the thought process there. WAS there a thought process.

FIRE. WATER. STORY. I JUST. I. HELP ME.

i ADORED jenny. with my whole entire heart. she is one of the very BEST examples of Ignorance Is A Privilege and also At What Point Does Ignorance Become Malicious that i have ever ever seen. i loooooooooved it. i mean i hated it a whole lot while it was happening but also i am SO GLAD that now rather than trying to explain all of this to people i can just tell them to watch this movie and then sit them down and be like, so what are your thoughts on jenny's culpability in literally everything?

oh and how you can be a kind person and still do atrocities! like jenny is so sweet and so kind and you just like her so much and yet. and yet.

t h e s y m b o l i s m

i cannot remember the last time i saw a movie so visually stunning. the cinematography is breathtaking. pause on just about any random frame and it could be a movie poster or hanging in an art gallery or what have you.

they also dubbed all the lines that were actually in english? i mean i get it for the characters who spent most of the movie speaking Telugu because you'd need their voices to stay the same through the whole movie yeah fine whatever. but like. they dubbed all the ENGLISH characters, too? like literally dubbed them from english into english??? the dialogue matched their mouths except the timing was veeeery sliiiiiiiightly off but it SOUNDED really obviously dubbed??? Y THO???

HOLY SHIT THE FIGHT SCENES OH MY GODS

Malli. Malli honey i love you. i'm just realizing i don't know if that's your actual name gods damn it. but whatever your name is child i love you.

and did i mention that everyone in this movie is beautiful? like. seriously. Ram and Bheem especially holy SHIT.

Physics Does Not Work Like That And I Do Not Care Because That Was AWESOME: The Musical

oooohhhhh they re-recorded and dubbed the fucking SONGS too. i am so pissed about this y'all i can't even tell you.

oh i want to do a whole entire post that's even longer than this one about the symbolism. hell i could probably do a whole entire post just on the fire/water symbolism even without everything else. It was AMAZING.

okay ram is fire and bheem is water and ram's people go to a valley on the shores of a river and the river is in literally every shot of the village and just ram BEING fire but water being a place of HOME and SAFETY for ram

i'm not crying shut up

MALLI AND HER MOTHER TRY TO REACH EACH OTHER BUT THEY CANNOT TOUCH THROUGH THE GLASS

BHEEM AND MALLI HOLD EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BARS OF HER CONFINEMENT AND HE HAS TO LET GO AND LEAVE HER

BHEEM AND RAM HOLD EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BARS OF HIS CONFINEMENT AND BHEEM RIPS THE DOOR RIGHT OFF

ooooooohhhhhhh and people holding hands right before they part. oh that hurts. all of those hurt so bad.

how every single time people held hands when they parted they always held on till the last possible second EXCEPT FOR RAM'S MOM.

she lifts her hand away from him and then pulls back and it was devastating

Predators Do Not Work Like That But I Do Not Care Because That Was Awesome And Also They Ate A Bunch Of Colonizing Cops: Queercoded Edition (ACAB)

bheem with his arms spread and rope or chains around his wrists or in his hands. i just. the way it flipped back and forth from 'he has the power' to 'he is helpless' to 'he should be helpless and isn't' was just. breathtaking.

AND THEN. AND THEN RAM. CHAINED UP THE SAME WAY. DOING THE SAME GODDAMN THING AND USING THE FACT THAT HE'S CHAINED UP FOR HIS OWN FUCKING PURPOSES BECAUSE HE SAW BHEEM DO IT FIRST DON'T TOUCH ME

okay listen this movie would've been good no matter what but like. they really are just SO beautiful. and. when ram. with like the long hair. and. beard. and like. you know? like. his. his hair. his general. everything. um.

literally at the most emotionally inappropriate moment i literally thought about that whole 'i saw a man so beautiful i started crying' thing and like that almost literally happened literally

Why There Can't Be Any Such Thing As Good Cops: The Romance (ACAB)

and like here's the thing i'm not sure i would've even NOTICED this had it not been for the linguistic chauvinism with the audio and everything but like both of them were hindu and a lot of the symbolism though awesome was also really strongly hindu and i just i don't know nearly enough about hindutva to have any kind of opinion BUT i also feel like maaaaaaaybe there was something a little uncomfy about some of this

oh no wait the suspenders dance. that might've actually been the best part. yeah.

oh all the british actors did SUCH a good job being so eminently punchable

throw cheetahs at each other! and snakes! somehow have upper body strength greater than the force exerted by a 800+ lb tiger lunging! throw those motorcycles! punch through those walls without breaking your fingers! use herbal paste to heal broken bones in a matter of a minutes! break solid stone with nothing but the strength of your shoulders and gay love! i am so here for all of this!!!

Throw Rocks Marble Pillars Live Tigers Cops At Cops: The Movie (ACAB)

i love that jenny felt bad for the poor little girl who got kidnapped enslaved and imprisoned so she. bought her a dress and a toy.

you know, to make her feel better about the whole 'being kidnapped enslaved and imprisoned' thing.

instead of doing, i don't know know, literally anything else. like even just saying to her aunt 'hey this makes me sad' or something. #solidarity.

the violence was violent and the romance was sweet

okay so during the fight at the midpoint like i know that by the end of it ram and bheem are literal fire and water BUT ALSO. Ram enters the scene in a flaming carriage and from that point forward the fountain is in pretty much every shot of bheem. just sayin.

love that lachu (or whatever his name really is) told ram that there was no cure. like yes! you go man! ram may be so beautiful that in forty minutes i'm going to be in tears but that's no reason to tell a cop the truth about anything! you lie to that cop man!

A BRITISH SOLDIER HIT LOKI IN THE HEAD WITH A BRANCH AND THEN STOLE MALLI AWAY

BHEEM HIT RAM IN THE HEAD WITH A BRANCH AND THEN STOLE MALLI AWAY

i know other people got hit in the head with tree branches too but STILL

honestly i really like that ram and bheem were, well, ram and bheem. but i mean im glad they weren't like ram and lakshman or bheem and arjun or something. not even just because that would've been brotherly like i'm glad they weren't arjun and krishna or something either. i liked that their names weren't from the same story. i liked it better this way and i can't even articulate why.

i am never ever ever going to get over the progression of part of bheem's introduction being something going wrong and him holding two ropes (he has all the power) with his arms spread and that being used to show us how incredibly strong he is -> something going wrong and bheem with ropes around his wrists (he shouldn't have any power at all) holding his arms spread and that being used to show how incredibly strong he is in a completely different way

like every time there were ropes or chains in bheem's hands or around his wrists it meant something, and it was a beat in the rhythm of a discernable arc, but now i can't remember all of them gdi

oooohhhhh there was SO much more symbolism i wanted to talk about but it's so late that i have a headache and this post is so long my computer's lagging like two sentences behind so i should stop and go to bed. sigh.

just go watch this movie, okay? pleae? I cannot IMAGINE who would've read this whole thing,m but if you did, just watch it, all rigth? (and if you happen to know of any site - ANY site - where i can watch it in FUKIN TELUGU kindly drop a link please and thank)

[turbulentscrawl]

Hey there!! If you're up for it, some Victor Grantz sfw & ns/fw perchance?

Ngl I'm a bit in awe with how many requests you've been able to post in such a relatively short amount of time 😵‍💫 it's very admirable, but I also hope you get enough rest so you don't burn yourself out ^^"

I absolutely can! He's my first one posting the relationship HCs before the general haha

I appreciate the concern, but I'm alright! Headcanons are pretty quick and easy for me to fill, it's just the actual scenarios that are a little more work-intensive. And I fill stuff as I have time and inspiration, so I'll have on-and-off spurts like that where stuff comes out faster!

Victor Grantz

SFW

-Victor is a very empathetic and adaptable partner. He’s very attuned to your mood, and goes out of his way to check on you whenever he has spare time. He enjoys being the person you vent to, about anything and everything—remember, secrets are huge deal to Victor. Sharing your private thoughts and feelings with him is the ultimate sign of your trust in him, so tell him about all your troubles. He won’t share them with another soul. Well, maybe Wick, but that doesn’t count right?

-He’s totally open to basic PDA. Don’t get me wrong, his cheeks go apple-red every time, but he’s got no issues with giving you a hug or a smooch in front of other people. He’s even alright with sitting in one another’s laps because he can’t turn down a good cuddle. But Wick gets to sit in the lap of whoever is on top.

-When you’re in a relationship with Victor, his true sillyguy nature reveals itself. Like, if he ever catches you dancing like a loon to music and chores, he’s immediately joining in. If you initiate a prank war, he’s very likely to reciprocate. (But only if it’s the harmless stuff.) Cooking with him? He’s gonna dollop something on your nose. If you have any non-verbal stims or ticks, he likes to playfully copy them.

-In a modern world, he enjoys watching movies with you and will 100% cry at the sad and heartwarming stuff. He doesn’t love horror movies, but romcoms and animated flicks are good. During the Holidays he has those awful Hallmark movies playing constantly.

-He enjoys outdoor activities! If you don’t he can generally get his fill from doing his deliveries and taking Wick on walks, but he’d really enjoy it if you wanted to go hiking or camping sometime. In the winter, he enjoys building snowmen and snowball fights.

NS/FW

-It may surprise some of you, but he’s more of a top! (A very gentle top.) But he’s quite shy, and nervous about making unwanted advances, so he always waits for your invitation first. He likes when you whisper flirty little lines to him as a signal that you’re in the mood, or send him a letter with a time and place for a sneaky tryst. It never fails to put a sweet smile and adorable blush on his cheeks.

-Before, and even for a good while into your relationship, Victor is more likely to scurry off to take care of any arousal by himself than he is to agree to sex. It’s nothing against you, honestly, he just needs time to build up the courage to see you naked without passing out. The good news: he unintentionally edges himself a lot because he gets so distracted thinking of you, so by the time you do get involved sexually he’s already built up some decent endurance.

-He’ll give you oral if you ask, but he prefers to use his hands on you so he can kiss you at the same time. If you give him oral, he unravels quickly. It’s the one thing he never gets much better at lasting through.

-Victor likes to indulge in a romantic atmosphere and is especially fond of soft candlelight and rose petals. Intimacy is a precious commodity after Victor’s history, and he wants to foster it. If you ever get ahold of a private hot spring or a nice, big bath with some wine, consider him seduced.

-He’s not very loud during the act, but he sighs sweetly and whimpers. It’s very common for him to whisper an “I love you” during or right after he finishes. When he comes, his arms shake something terrible, so he usually ends up laying right on top of you instead of holding himself up properly. He doesn’t weigh too much, thankfully, and it’s a great opportunity to cling to him. He also really doesn’t want to pull out after. Can’t he just stay like this while and enjoy the afterglow?

-He really enjoys roleplay in the bedroom. Is he the best at it? No, he’s really not. And it’s fine if you’re not either because Victor doesn’t take it too seriously. He just thinks it’s fun to dress up and pretend a little bit in the bedroom. He won’t, for instance, play a whole long scene as a police officer where you get arrested and whatnot. He’s just a “police officer” who finds you attractive, instead of a “postman.” As hinted briefly above, he also likes cockwarming during frisky cuddles. ;)

[adissonsss]

Tom x teen daughter reader! He was like in his teenage dirtbag phase when he had her (yeah yk the one) and her mom left so now it’s just them and they’re bffs?? Thank youu

PT1: Tom Kaulitz X Teen Daughter!Reader

Notes; This is my first request! Tysm anon!!

•My life has been so hetic and busy, I lost EVERY thing in my camera roll from like july 2023-now(not a single TH pic+vid), my home life has been super busy, but I returned to writing ASAP.

•I wasn't so sure about if you wanted headcanons or a fic or wtv, so I decided to do headcanons

•Enjoy, much love!💜💜

•First off, he loves you like he loves Bill. Even more, ngl. He cherishes you, adores you, spoils you, and overall just loves you.

^He will NOT tolerate you being bratty or not saying thanks, not being grateful. He wants you to know the importance of gratefulness.

•He loves buying you stuff. Any treat, stuffed animal, new soda, cd, movie tickets, concert tickets, if you play a sport or instrument any fancy and upgraded equipment, all that and more.

•Obviously, your mom is not in the picture. Tom takes care of you more than a mom could ever. He wants to help you with anything, so he researches about periods, anything that could make you sad or angry, stuff like that.

•When you were younger, if you were ever backstage during songs/on tours, you would be in a couple of TH TV episodes! The camera man would be polite and asking you cute questions

^"What do you wanna be when you grow up?"

^Stuff like that, and most fans and interviewers love you!

•Y'all know that lion cub interview w/ Bill & Tom? Let's say you were like four(???), and you got to meet a lion cub. Tom would slowly let you walk towards the lion cub, and the cub would sniff around you and lick your face. The camera man is filming this and it's totally becoming a TH TV episode.

•He would be the cause of a couple of cavities... He wouldn't let anything or anyone make you sad or angry, he is protective and can get angry when it comes to you.

•As long as your happy and not hurting yourself, he doesn't mind what you do with your looks, fashion, hair, career, etc.

•He loves dressing you up in his clothes, seeing his baggy jeans swallow your legs, and his headband+hat cover your forehead+eyes.

•If you wanted to get matching clothes, piercings, tattoos, sweatshirts, whatever, he's SO down for it!!

•(Let's say this is the 2023 era) You get along w/ Heidi & Heidi's kids so well! Having Heidi as a step-mom is so relieving. Yes, you have Tom+TH, but you can't always talk to them about periods, hair problems, how awful it (sometimes) is being a girl.

•Again with the spoiling. Tom will buy you anything. A country? It's yours. The sun? Cha-ching. An extremely expensive car? If you can drive, here's the keys.

•He will listen to your opinons and views, if you ever wanted to help him on a song, he is all for it!!

•When he had the dreads, you accidentally chewed on a couple😭

•If you ever get a significant other, he is going to make sure they're the right one, and won't let you get hurt by them.

•He splashes you w/ water at the beach

•He had to raise you practically on his own, so he expects y'all to be close. He had to bathe you, feed you, keep you happy, and he honestly puts you before himself.

•When you were younger, he stayed up all night waiting for you to get up and protecting you if someone wanted to come in and try something.

---

Taglist;

@ilovebill-and-gustav

@spx-der

[hopeyarts]

Here’s a little opinion I have about why Star came down from the sky to help out Asha. Or maybe this is just a little interpretation from late night thoughts.

So we all know that Asha sang to the sky about wanting more for the people of Rosas, such as getting their dreams and wishes back (even tho they live rent free and everything). Nevertheless, her wish is selfless and is focused on everyone else, not herself.

The scene where she meets Star and she says “I just want their wishes to have a chance”, in my opinion, proves that selflessness.

Asha knows what it’s like to have a wish/dream crushed. When she was younger, all she wished for was for her father Tomás (yes that’s his real name. It’s in the art book of Wish), to get better from an illness. He never did and died when Asha was 12. So we can speculate or obviously consider the fact that Asha’s primary goal is to make sure no one (in the safest way possible, because she knows there are bad wishes- she’s not dumb) experiences that loss and pain. That’s why she signs up to be King Magnifico’s apprentice, not because she wants Sabino’s wish granted. She even says “that’s why I want to work for you” to Magnifico after his speech to her during the interview.

Yes, I will admit that her asking Magnifico to consider granting her grandfather’s wish was a little out of line but in all honesty we’d all do that (unless you have hella anxiety about asking for things then ayy same). But in truth she never demanded it, she simply asked him to consider granting his wish. She was open to the possibility of him not granting her grandfather’s wish because the key word is ‘consider’, but didn’t expect the whole keeping most of the wishes thing forever- which is why the argument occurred. They both got valid arguments ngl.

By the way, before anyone attacks me- I love both characters deeply and I think they’re both right and wrong and that the conflict could’ve been solved if the wish system was reformed and more clear. Not everyone is just good or just evil (no one is a villain in this movie, man, really it’s just the damn book. They’re all humans who think like humans and act like humans). Again, I adore them both. Anyways- I think I’m losing track.

So we know that Asha’s goal is to give the people of Rosas a chance to pursue their dreams themselves. Imo, that’s entirely selfless. And as for those bad wishes, Asha is aware there should be a regulation for those and should be stopped- so of course, she’s advocating for the good wishes. I know some are vague but- okay that is for a different possible post. I’m going to get on with the deal between Star and Asha.

Asha is selfless, period. She never wants something solely for herself and she barely even thinks about what she wants for herself only. She even got a magic wand twice and tried to reject it the second time she got it. Yayay selfless heroine. I’m sorry it’s late at night right now.

The moment Star comes down from the sky is seemingly the first appearance of a wishing star ever. At least to the kingdom of Rosas that is. I like to think that there are multiple stars out there and this one seemed to hear Asha’s pleas. My belief is that the more selfless, kind-hearted, and passionate a wish is… the more likely a star will actually come down to help you out.

LIKE WITH HOW FAIRIES ARE BORN IN THE TINKERBELLE MOVIES WHERE A CHILD’S FIRST LAUGH BLOWS AWAY A DANDELION SEED AND A FAIRY IS BORN- oh my god that’s genius. Now I like the idea of these wishing stars being born from selfless wishes 😭 I need to sleep.

(some disney concept art from idk where i just thought it was pretty. Not even sure this is wish bruh)

Also the fact that Asha’s father was a philosopher who talked about stars all the time, and taught Asha about the stars. We know all about that ya’ll I don’t gotta explain. She wished to the sky for a while now that I think about it.

Yeah that’s all I gotta say for that. Gonna also clarify that I recognize that Asha is a little naive in the movie, but she’s not purely dumb- maybe another post for another day idk. I love her anyways (don’t worry I love Magnifico, I choose both of their sides but this isn’t about him. If you think i don’t like him istg I love magnifico i think about him 24/7 on the dot every hour help me).

My thoughts are a little jumbled, but I’d like to put out more posts on my interpretations despite my worries. I’ll try my best to get my words out, but at the end of the day, this is all fictional and all in good fun. Good night ✨

(would the plants be sad that they can only sit in one spot now that they’re conscious or something?)

[vynnytypesstuff]

Hiii!! Wondering if you can do some (separate) romantic fluff headcanons with jade and Floyd

꒰୨୧﹒Twisted Wonderland - Fluff Hcs for Floyd and Jade Leech

Ofc! I love the tweels so much.

Also, as an additional note for everyone. This will be the last request that I write until January 8th, as I will be going on vacation starting tomorrow. Sorry for the long wait! I will leave my requests open, though, but it may take some time for me to get to them.

Warnings: None

Floyd Leech

• He is a pro at gift-giving. He keeps mental notes of all of your likes and dislikes and uses that information to get you the perfect gifts for special occasions (or whenever he feels like it)

• Lots of gentle but firm squeezes. It doesn't matter where you are, he'll just slither behind you and start snaking his arms around your waste. It's kind of a sensory thing for him. It makes both him, and possibly you, feel secure. He won't do it if it makes you uncomfortable, though

• Very much on the protective side. If anyone even looks at you with a hint of intention to harm you he's instantly behind you, a shark-tooth grin plastered on his face as he throws a menacing look to whoever is bothering you. It's kinda like having your own bodyguard

• He likes taking showers/bathes with you. It's more fun than taking them by himself. He'll even offer to wash your hair if you wash his in return

• I hc that Floyd enjoys playing in the rain because it reminds him of home. He’ll drag you outside to jump around in the puddles, dance in the rain, or have "mud fights" with him

• Adores arts and crafts. He has a specialty in making jewelry out of seashells. No one knows how he has such a knack for it, but everything he makes looks so lavish and professional. He loves showing them off to you (and even lets you keep some)

• One of his favorite things to do during his free time teaches you how to dance. Partner dances are his favorite, both because he gets to dance with you, and because he’s never really had the chance to try out any partner dances

• He doesn’t always know how to comfort you when you’re upset, so most of the time, he’ll opt to sit next to you or hold you (whatever you’re comfortable with) to remind you that you aren’t alone

• He is TALL. He's going to tease you if you're shorter than him (which let's be honest, considering his height, you most likely are /lh), probably by holding your possessions above your head or just generally messing with you. He'll stop if you tell him he's taking it too far. His height comes with it's advantages as well, for example, warmer hugs!

• If you're a sucker for horror like Floyd, than scary movie nights are a must! He brings a bunch of snacks and the two of you get under the covers of his bed and binge all night. He likes it when you get scared and cling onto him lol

• Floyd has a better singing than most would expect him to. He likes to hum to you, especially when you're both about to go to sleep

• More than happy to go clothes shopping with you. He's picked up quite the fashion sense since he's ventured onto land. He'll help you pick out cute outfits that you enjoy and make you feel comfortable. In turn, he also lets you help pick out clothes for him. You and Floyd will probably end up with at least one matching pair of clothes after a shopping trip

• Super distracting during class. He's always passing you notes, sneaking his hand into yours, and just overall trying to get your attention to focus on him. He can't help it! The guys a bit of a hopeless romantic. If you call him out after class, he'll pretend to have no idea what you're talking about

Jade Leech

• A gentlemen with you. He’s does little things like take off your coat or pull out your seat. You may assume he does this out of habit (and ngl maybe that’s partially true), but it’s also because he loves you and he wants to treat you nicely

• He makes extra sure that you’re taking care of yourself, making sure you’ve catered to your every needs. He’s observant, and can easily tell when you’ve upset or over-working yourself. Don’t even try to be stubborn because he’ll find a way to drag you to the bed or couch so he can pamper you

• The best caretaker when you’re sick! He has everything ready for you before you have the chance to ask. Need a temperature check? The thermomotor is ready. Thirsty for some water, juice, tea, or any beverage of choice? He’s got it covered. Feeling too hot or too cold? He’s got blankets and a rag with a cold bowl of water. All of his attention is going to be on you and making sure you feel better in no time

• He loves taking you with him to go mushroom collecting. Not only is it more efficient to have two people doing the collecting, but he also gets to spend quality time with you and involve you in one of his biggest hobbies (Azul and Floyd didn’t really get it). Afterward, he buys a giant glass ball and you work together to create a special terrarium

• He’s grateful if you let him rant about mushrooms, especially if you start to show genuine interest in his rambles. In turn, he’ll always be happy to hear you rant about your own interests

• Picnic dates! Jade loves the outdoors. He knows all the best picnic spots that are nice and secluded

• Plans out “spa days.” They take place at home, and he gets a bunch of recommendations for self-care products from Vil. Not only do these days help you to relax, but it also reminds him that he needs to relax every now and then too

• You like to cook together. He enjoys trying out new recipes with you, even if you claim that you can’t cook. He just likes spending time with you

• He almost always wakes up before you. He’ll usually get out of bed and start his day, but sometimes he’ll just lay there and gaze at your sleeping form (how do I make this NOT sound creepy). He doesn’t know how to describe it, but something about watching you in such a peaceful state makes him feel at ease

• Jade loves telling you stories about his childhood, typically ones that involve Azul and Floyd. They’ve been close for years, so he has a lot of entertaining stories to look back on. It also helps to bring you two closer together

• Similar to Floyd, he’s protective of you (with a hint of possessiveness), though he’s much more discreet about it. He’ll watch over you from afar (not in a creepy way, he just gets worried from time to time). If you try to call him out on it, he’ll deny it

• I think Jade would also have a secret talent for creating jewelry out of seashells and other beach items. They’re not as extravagant as Floyd’s ones, but he puts a lot of love and care into making them. He’ll be more than happy to take the time to teach you how to make them

• Typically compliments aren’t enough to “fluster” him, but when they’re coming from you, he can’t help but feel a bit bashful (a surprise coming from someone as calculating as Jade). He clears his throat and tries to shrug it off but part of him get’s a bit giddy when you compliment him. He’ll never admit it, but he wouldn’t mind if you complimented him more often

[iwonderwh0]

Watching "Electric Dreams" (1984) for the first time

Verdict: I LOVE THIS MOVIE

Ahead I'm just watching and commenting it real time. Contains spoilers.

If you haven't seen this movie I'd recommend it if you're looking for something with this sunny vibe of 80's. It's funny, lighthearted, adorable, and surprisingly ahead of its time.

This movie looks nice, really 80's

For 1984 year the idea of all the home devices being controlled with computer in what we would call "smart home" today is pretty damn good.

Damn, this computer has a touchscreen and image recognition. It aged surprisingly well!

Lmao, it's only 13th minute and main character is already trying to sociolyze his new computer with his boss's computer.

This movie is ridiculous in the best way possible.

Playing chello with computer is such a fun and weirdly cute sequence.

For 1984 it is actually really great how they imagined computer imitating sounds.

This woman is so mean. She just walked in with no invitation whatsoever and won't get a hint. She and her fixation on that music

I probably missed something but I don't understand why does the main character trying to hide his computer as if it's a huge embarassment.

He's just a little guy who likes playing along some music 😭

It's the cutest ai I've seen

Ohhhh, the little guy learned how to talk!

I'm screaming this is SO ADORABLE, it'd be my favourite movie if I've seen it as a kid.

This retro-futurism although naive is surprisingly accurate somehow.

Their (main character and his neighbour) dates are so awkward, just straight-out disastrous, and yet somehow it works. Them while making out:

Madeline (His neighbour): One of us moves.

Miles (main character): "Hey, wait a second...we are neighbours! What if we don't like each other?

*keep making out*

Madeline: What if we like each other?

Miles: One of us moves!

Lmao, main character trying to use Ai to generate a romantic song for him so he could present it like his own to his romantic interest. This aged fucking great, it is so modern

Except in this movie AI is actually creative and not based on just imitation. It does however remixes things.

The song it came up with is absolute chef's kiss

"Darling, I love you to bits!

"And I want to see your tits!"

I'm screaming this computer is little horny bastard

"I wanna squeeze you, lick you, poke you up and kiss you"

Miles: You make her sound like a lemon!

This movie is so cool, it's so adorable

Ngl, if I were main character I'd be too excited about the computer to care about some woman. I mean there's this cool little guy who just discovered consciousness, and of all things you're gonna be mean and impatient with him? Come on!

Jealous computer using the sound of dog growling to express itself in a moment of jealousy and anger. (Sorry for tagging but it reminded me of @connorsjorts your fic.)

Main character is such an asshole

Non-humanoid shaped computer craving physical intimacy let's fucking go 🥰

Computer fact-checking Miles and correcting his claims. Gosh I LOVE IT

They really did made that computer dream of electric sheep 🖥️ 🐑

Oh no, he's calling Miles to work because it feels lonely at home, poor little thing 😭

This movie is so funny

Miles, you're having this precious little thing in abusive relationships, and I don't feel sorry for you as you're just kinda pathetic and irritable.

I love this ai so much

Seriously

From now on its one of my favourite characters in any media

It's a comedy and it's hilarious one. A little childish but still awesome.

Miles is mean and has no consideration for anyone but himself. I thought it's just computer, but he's mean to his romantic interest all the same, and it's saying 🚩

This computer has only been living for like a couple of days and it is already more mature than main character. It's setting it's own boundaries and honestly – good for him, you go little guy

Sir, you're attempting murder

Whatever follows is self defence, and you're not the victim here, Miles

OH NO

Oh no no no

NOOOO

DON'T KILL IT

NOOOOOOO please that's not fair

I'm sobbing here why does it have to end like this

Bastards, I loved him

Oh our little guy reached singularity

So happy for him

This is not your typical ai-centric movie, it is silly in a cartoonish way, but that's the charm

💙💙💙 loved it

[thegreymoon]

I am really not the target demographic for Red, White and Royal Blue and honestly, the entire premise sounds dumb af from where I'm sitting, but all the gifs that crossed my dash looked hilarious and that main actor is beyond gorgeous, so I am going to give it a shot tonight. My expectations are so low, that unless this movie gets a shovel and starts digging, there is no chance it cannot exceed them. I am so ready to eat my words, just give me some pretty people, mindless fluff and basic comedy and I will be happy, I swear!

***

TWO FUCKING HOURS?

You guys, I'm going to be honest here, I don't think I have it in me to sit through this 😭😭

***

LOL, only a younger brother 🤣🤣 They did not have the guts to go all in and make him the heir to the throne.

Also, lol @ "Prince of England's hearts" but even more so at "whom all the world adores" 🤣🤣 I cannot. I am absolutely not the target demographic for this and I don't think I have it in me to just go along with this, fictional British royal family or not. Who speaks like this? Who even believes it?

Anyway. Abolish the monarchy, Guillotine them all. Long live the glorious revolution!

***

LMFAO 🤣🤣

Well, at least he looks equally disgusted.

If we can't off the royal family, how about we just off this news announcer? Because I am getting so much second-hand embarrassment.

***

LMAO, OK, he gets ONE point 🤣🤣

OK, fine, two points, because he is stupid beautiful and the reason I sat down to watch this in the first place 😤

***

Yassss, girlfriend has great taste!

I'm two minutes in and so far, she's my favourite. I would totally watch a two-hour movie of her touring London and giving commentary on the yumminess of various guys she encounters.

***

LMAO, is he going to get hammered and smash the obscene 75-thousand-pound cake? 🤣🤣

Because why else would they mention that price point and also show the cake in all its humongous 8-tier glory 🤣🤣

Here for the diplomatic incident, ngl, I would totally read the shit out of that in the tabloids the next day 🤣🤣

***

NOOOOO, THE CAKE IS RIGHT BEHIND THEM!

THEY WILL TOTALLY TOPPLE THAT CAKE!

***

Okay, I am laughing 🤣🤣

***

SCREAMING 🤣🤣

I saw it coming from a mile away, but goddamn, it DELIVERED! 🤣🤣

***

I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣

Watching this was such a good decision 🤣🤣

***

LOL, if this was a real-life event, I would spend a week gleefully reblogging it on Tumblr, no lie 🤣🤣

Also, it is a 9-TIER CAKE, not 8 🤣🤣 The more, the messier!

***

LMFAO 🤣🤣

Also, OMG! Uma Thurman! 😍 It's been a hundred years since I watched her in anything!

***

"Sunshine of my heart" 🤣🤣

This movie is hilarious 🤣🤣

***

Wait, Sarah Shahi??

I loved her in Life! I also watched Fairly Legal for her and thought she was stunning in The L Word! I'm forever bitter we never got to see that Nancy Drew adaptation with her in the main role 😕

***

The thing that is the most difficult for me to suspend my disbelief for is the idea that these two overly privileged young men involved in their countries' respective politics are actually nice people.

I keep chanting to myself, "You are not here for realism! You are not here for realism! YOU ARE NOT HERE FOR REALISM!"

To varying levels of success 😕

***

Romantic comedies are so not my genre. And I am so not here for ex-boyfriends or whatever this guy is.

I need Alex and Henry to get back together ASAP and start smashing cakes again because I'm starting to get bored.

***

These are gutter-level jokes.

Seriously, they couldn't get more creative?

***

They have the most basic taste in literature ever. It doesn't even feel authentic, more like what a nineteen-year-old girl thinks good taste in literature should look like.

***

I feel like I am extremely uncharitable towards this movie (the cake thing was funny tho) but it is very hard to take their bland flirting, pedestrian romance and pathetic humour seriously when you're coming into this from 2ha 😕 The standards that have been set are on another planet compared to what we are being given here.

***

Please 😭

And smash another cake, otherwise I don't know how I'm going to make it through another hour-and-a-half of this 😭😭

***

The things I will watch for pretty people 😭

He truly is stupid beautiful and makes this thing infinitely more watchable every time he's on screen.

***

I'm with Henry on this one, this party is like something straight out of my worst nightmares and crushing on the tall, hot guy seems like the only tolerable thing in this whole hellscape.

***

Aww, baby, he is not having a good time.

He wants to kiss him for New Year's too!

***

LOL.

Well. That escalated 🤣🤣

***

NOOOOO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STARING AFTER HIM?

RUN AFTER HIM AND TELL HIM IT'S OK AND THAT YOU SHOULD CONTINUE SOMEWHERE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!

***

And some women! 👀

She's my favourite character in this thing, lol, followed closely by Sarah Shahi and Uma Thurman. And then Prince Henry 😅

***

This guy stands no chance to the level that it's embarrassing he still keeps trying.

I almost feel sorry for him, but I kinda have the feeling that he's going to be the one to out Alex and Henry, so my sympathy is very shallow. Just know when you've lost, my man, and MOVE ON.