#nitw analysis

[ifwebefriends]

I just got through the part in Night in the Woods where Mae gets into an argument with Bea and then her mom and like…damn, that hurt my feelings

Like all the characters in this game are so relatable and understandable but in such different ways that make them clash with each other.

Mae is a mentally ill naive opinionated honest idealist who is reasonably upset that the world around her is worse than what she thinks it should be and that spurs her argument with Bea. Mae loves the people around her and wants the best for them but she can struggle with expressing that due to her occasional emotional immaturity. Bea is more of a jaded realist who is far too familiar with how the deeply flawed world works and is dissatisfied with her life but has also accepted that. Mae wants Bea to do what she thinks is right but Bea doesn’t want to risk messing stuff up or making things harder for herself and her family’s business.

Mae’s mother wants the best for her child and put a lot of time and money into Mae’s future and is reasonably upset when Mae leaves it all behind and won’t tell her why. Mae is struggling mentally but doesn’t know how to express that yet or she’s too scared to. Mae is reveling in the comforting familiarity of her childhood home because she doesn’t know how to cope after her breakdown. She jumps to defend herself and ends up saying hurtful things that she doesn’t mean and it upsets people and AAAAAAH

[schnanko]

one of the things i love about bea is that she is so mean, especially at the start of the game, but she still goes out of her way to do the kind thing. it's like a small rebellion. she's pissed at so many things - and she is so justified - but they're out of her control. the most power she can exert in her life is not just feeling anger, but actively expressing it.

sometimes, it's hard to acknowledge difficult situations. if you pretend it's all fine and normal, if you lean into hope, that's great. but bea shows that if you can't muster hope, you can muster motivation through anger.

it's kind of like harm reduction. if you're doing two negative activities, do the one that is least harmful. bea could cling to hope, or she could cope with rage. it's difficult to lean into hope after all that she's experienced, and the letdown of any expectation at this point might kill her, so she's using open rage to cope with her situation.

but despite open rage, she is not a mean person. she tears the shit out of mae on the way home from the party, but then walks her up to her room and puts her in bed. and she calls her mayday, even thought she knows mae won't hear or remember.

meanness and anger is how she copes, but it isn't who she is. and at least for now, if she can't cling to hope, she can cling to the idea that she is still capable of kindness. her life is not 100% coping. yet.

[aimseytv]

what is your comfort thing to watch while you eat

[mytrouvailles]

night in the woods is such an important game for me and i can’t ever explain as in depth as i want to but i just replayed it for the seventh year in a row so here we go

mae’s from a small town, a poor town. she’s got her close knit friends. and everyone else has got this perception of her that they’ve attached to her since she was young. lots of people bringing up her past and not even opening their minds to the fact that she may have changed, it’s just a bunch of no one’s forgotten who you are or what you did, you know. people that never even knew mae in the past, like lori m., know about what she did. it’s small town talk, and small town talk always moves around in ways you never want it to.

it takes forever in the game for mae to finally open up about why she left college, and it’s because of exactly what the small town folk have assumed of her: she hasn’t changed. she still has this illness and she represses it because that’s what she’s told to do, rather than process it, work through it like selmers says to. she represses it so deeply that we, the player, spend the entire game wondering what our character is going through. we see mae’s thoughts and feelings and what she says and doesn’t say to people, and yet she never mentions how difficult it is for her to feel alright, even internally. and it’s so devastating to have a repressed illness that you’ve shown so many clear signs of, one that you’ve been taught to ignore until your wires snap. one that takes so hard of a toll on your well-being, makes it impossible to do what seems so easy for others. and it’s so real.

i think that’s what i love most and identify most with this game, is that it’s real. from mae’s repressed mental illnesses to gregg’s insecurities with himself to bea’s losses and angus’ abusive home life, it’s real. there are people out there with lives exactly like these.

i’m from a small town, a poor town. i’ve known people like mae, gregg, and bea, and angus. i’ve known kids that were neglected, abused, ignored. i’ve known shoplifters and people that armed themselves on the street and who’ve lost their loved ones at the worst of times. i personally was not the kindest or well-behaved teenager, and i’ve watched the same people i was with then either grow into redeemable people or get themselves into something irreversible. and just like in the game, people act like they’ve forgotten about all of that. that’s small town polite right there. something happened and the signs were there, it was all the talk for a while. our moms told us not to talk to you. and suddenly you’re told to get over it without any sort of diagnosis, an answer. and everyone passes over it, even your closest friends, as if they have blocked it out of their brains for the convenience of not dealing with it. until you drown in it, and something else happens.

i’m in college now, and every time i visit home i get this feeling, one that nothing changed but yet everything did. i see someone i know with every step i take. some will serve me at the restaurant i go to eat at to catch up with my family. some will be greeting me at the only grocery store in town. some will have passed away and some will have been arrested. my high school friends have grown up, they’ve either worked or graduated college or are nearing there, they’ve set themselves up with full time careers and plans and relationships. and yet i feel as though i’ve regressed in life, i’ve decided to go to school for even longer to prevent growing up. i stayed here and got older, while you went off and stayed the same.

and it’s one thing to feel like you’ve made it no where compared to your lowest point, but it’s another to still have doubts of yourself after you’ve become a better person. you can move away, make new friends, find a loving relationship. you can start on a completely clear slate, but at the end of everything, it’s nothing but a facade if you don’t truly feel redeemable in your heart. you question how you deserve something so good, how you possibly could be seen and loved by people who know what you are, when you don’t even know yourself. i’m a good person, right? i have really up up days and really down down days, and i don’t know which it is until it’s over sometimes.

mae has no idea what she is, what her point is, there’s nothing but holding on to what she thinks is herself and her friends and her world, which is realistically so much different than how she sees it. gregg knows what he is, he knows what he was and what he wants to be. he knows that there are parts of himself that get in the way of truly believing he is good. i think that mae is in some sort of denial about learning who she is in her early adult life, constantly looking back at the past and pretending that things aren’t different when they are. where gregg is growing into himself, coming to terms with commitment and responsibility and making up for the reckless person he once was. still fearing to regress back into his more careless self, and destroy those expectations of maturity when mae is around.

throughout my seventh play-through, i found myself relating to mae and gregg more than any other characters. i have a feeling that as i have grown up, moved away, started taking care of myself as an adult, i see more and feel more for what mae and gregg each go through. mae is unhealthily attached to her hometown because attempting to start new had regressed her mental state. gregg seems to be doing all he can to get out of town, move away and start fresh. i believe that mae and gregg had grown up in their own fucked up ways, yet they have discovered opposite, personal reasons for moving past it all. they represent something that one person could always experience; they could ache for and return to familiarity, whether it’s real or not. but they could also beg and work for change. these are two feelings that i hold deep in my chest, and some days i feel one or the other, or both.

a small hometown is a bittersweet experience; it can leave you with a sense of safety, community, and flexible routine. but it can also be despicable, it can be suffocating, it can be nothing but another town, another mass of people to live far away from. mae and gregg represent this spectrum, from enjoying staying in one place to doing anything to get away from it. their reasons and their fears and their feelings are so real.

i am a woman in her 20s, who has always grown up with a complicated relationship with her hometown. i’ve never played a game that has ever hit me this hard, nor stuck with me for this long. i make it a point to replay it every year because it helps. i realize something new about these characters, i identify more with their experiences. it’s comforting, and it’s healing.

so when i tell people about this game, and i talk about getting a tattoo from it and they look at me like i’m crazy, i understand that they’ll never know why.

[vanifou]

mae borowski - character analysis!

mae borowski is probably one of the most fascinating characters yet, her character is genuinely one you don’t find in your average horror game. mae’s a young adult who has recently dropped out of college causing her to return to her home town, possum springs. mae is a complicated character who also managed to be extremely relatable. her story throughout the game revolves around dark themes such as mental health, identity and the struggle of developing into an adult.

one of the most important parts of mae’s character is that she is unapologetically herself. Mae often express her thought’s and feelings extremely bluntly. Mae’s honesty manages to annoy multiple characters, even managing to get her into trouble sometimes through out the story. A lot of people in the town of possum springs even sees her as a child for this, not the adult she is, which makes sense. Mae is so used to being this immature, annoyingly honest person that she’s unable to perceive that others have grown up, that they have become adults while she is stuck in her inner child.

Mae's honesty and vulnerability really make her a character that many people can relate to. It's interesting because as she battles with intense derealization, we are given the chance to see things from her perspective, to experience the world the way Mae does. Her depression is depicted through her unique perception of the world, where everything appears as mere shapes. This creates a profound sense of loneliness and existential dread that I haven't seen portrayed in a character before. It sheds light on the personal struggles that many adults face today.

To add to that, Mae’s anxiety is specifically apparent in her worry about the future and what place she holds in the world. Mae constantly feels overwhelmed by the expectations others have put on her and her the fact that she can’t predict her future. her anxiety is shown through monologues and her interactions with other characters in possum springs, showcasing the impact it has on her daily life.

In the end, Mae’s story uncovers the secrets of possum springs and confronting her inner emotions. as the player guides her through the story, they get to witness her growth as a character as she confronts her fears and faces the reality of adult hood. i love night in the woods guys!!

( ps i dislike this very much, i feel like there’s a lot i left out but anyway i hope u like it )

@dreadful-sorrys

[sikkdog]

hey gamers i thought i would make an intro so yay

you can call me bowie this account is mostly dedicated to art and analysis but I might switch it up from time to time. Right now i’m working on some silly crossovers of persona and homestuck where i put the main cast into classpects. I also analyze car seat headrest songs but and yet to post any. draw both furries and humans(and sometimes ponies) and will pretty much all be sfw.

I use any pronouns besides they. Any terms are fine.

my special interests are car seat headrest, homestuck and persona. I am also interested in hannibal nbc, mlp, cate wurtz comics(specifically crow cillers), evangelion, david lynch movies, scott pilgrim and star trek.

i’m really into industrial music, noise rock and new wave. Some of my favorite artists(besides car seat headrest) consist of; xiu xiu, kmfdm, skinny puppy, einstürzende neubauten, neutral milk hotel, melt banana, throbbing gristle, chemlab, gary numan, oingo boingo, boredoms, 100 gecs and talking heads.

some games i like(besides persona) are; nitw, postal, metal gear, hylics, disco elysium and psycholonials.

for dni it’s pretty the basic dni criteria. Besides that do not interact with me if you are apart of the TCC, are a proshipper(or whatever the fuck they’re callled), identify with any right wing ideology(or center preferably), 13-, dont believe in fun and whimsy(spread joy💯)

that should be it have a good day yippee.

[magnoliae]

watching a nitw analysis video rn and Im sooo mad theyre completely ignoring maes undiagnosed mental health crisis and saying she dropped out bc she wanted to be a kid again grrrr

[abandonedsdjfhcvndfbv]

Today ..twin oeaks s2 witj perce event so cute love thst guy i watched nitw analysis but ididnynplay it but i thoufht about it eeal hard so it coutns. 2 seperate emotional breakdowns . my printer is not in fact yet running. im so sleepy i forget the world every few.minutes again and then i remember

[loonarmuunar]

Thinkin bout this absolute amazing nitw analysis video where they compared CARS to the game. And they made it make so much sense

[lostjulys]

OH MY GOD. *MULTIPLE* saved drafts from MONTHS ago that r just infodumps that cut off mid sentence. oh my gd. mare askingme abt my favorite homestuck character & anony who askedme about fun nitw analysis like four months ago... i am so sorry 💀💀💀

[shuttingupwards]

Mae’s issues. (NITW SPOILERS)

I should preface that I am a huge Mae fan, she is my favorite character. So there may be inherent bias however there are concrete things in the story that don’t have bias that I’d like to point out in the complexion of her own character. To start let’s say that Mae has many issues that kind of go under worked on. It’s obvious that she’s reckless, adventurous, and a little oblivious. However core issues seen in her is her lack of mindfulness, apathy, and general privilege.

Her black and white vision is troubling as she doesn’t think clearly on what is correct or true about other people. She lacks filter, she doesn’t have consequences and this is a huge part of her character. Her lack of consequences is due to her childish like nature and her privilege she has unlike characters like Bea, Angus, and Gregg. She is of course aware of some things, similar to how she is aware about the fact that her friends just deal with her because she is all they can get.

She’s learned not to ask for help, and this is mostly through some form of miscommunication through childhood. We see her parents to be extremely supportive. They talk to her and ask her caring questions, but It could be the possibility that she through her extreme tunnel vision was never clearly taught what to do. This is common in every parent to make, even small mistakes, but specifically with Mae was she grew up surrounded by reckless people and wanted to stay in that childhood. Where she could smash things and have fun, and not deal with the consequences from her parents. This is especially normal throughout people you see growing up.

However one of her largest flaws is her ineptness to ask for help. We see her rot away often despite the support she has, however this recklessness could quite be the same answer to explain this conundrum in her character. When characters grow so used to something, it becomes that coping mechanism. It could be very well that she genuinely believes help just isn’t something she needs. Just because it’s an option doesn’t mean a character is comfortable to take it. Mae likes short, easy things. She doesn’t like the long route, and because people around her have enabled her to have it she doesn’t see the point in reaching out. That even means helping others, which is why she’s so apathetic.

Mae is another thing, incredibly blunt. Not only does her black and white thinking interrupt any form of interaction with other people, she has odd dialect and views everything as something not as serious as it is til it effects her personally. She thinks Bea is “badass” for her moms death, or dealing with the shitty situation she’s in. This is a harmful mindset that she applies to herself. She’s extremely self destructive and stuck in her own head about her own fantasies.

This is most likely a cause of her dissociative disorder she seems to have. Dissociation is a feeling more then just feeling outside your body, it’s like being stuck in it as well. Even when your thousand of miles away you’re still stuck in your own bias. Mae realizes things often, but chooses to stay ignorant to them til it hurts. Like her knowing half the time her friends only stick with her because they are all they can get. They know her for her childish and dangerous attitude and know that it’s something that she needs to move on from.

Mae holds extreme privilege from everyone else in her life. Bea is poor and has to work emotionally and physically constantly for her father and the business, Gregg works a bad job with constant fear that he’ll lose Angus, while Angus is still dealing with his own emotional turmoil of his trauma but also his want for something more then where he is. All of them have that theme, wanting more then what they have but having to cling onto what they have no matter what happens. Which funny enough happens to be each other. They rely on what they are given, and they are given Mae who is to ignorant to be a genuine person around them. Half the time she’s a clueless asshole, but apart of her is charming in that it helps reflect a newer perspective to others. Which is half the reason the three stick around her.

Not only does Mae lack social cues with other people, but mindfulness of her own actions. She’s constantly self destructive and hating herself that little does she realize the pain she causes herself. It’s a painful process of self harm that affects other people in ways she’s not aware.

Now there’s the elephant in the room, which is her dissociative break in high school where she attacks a student almost to death. She doesn’t have consequences for this, rather is shifted into shitty solutions that heightens and again, enforces her mental anguish. She does not have the resources to help herself and doesn’t even know how to obtain them because of lack of understanding of how being a person works. This is definitely an important thing to remember about her is that she’s only broken the shield of ignorance when everything gets the worst that it gets.

Finally, when her consequences catch up to her and she meets the weird cat god and the cultists, does she have her realization. While in a realistic situation, having the realization after all of this isn’t recommended. Having to make sacrifices to realize something about yourself is an extremely destructive thing to do, but it fits Mae’s narrative and that’s why it works. It shows the theme of her own self destruction build up and finally bite her back down. As a story plot, it works that she only comes to the epiphany here. Then, does she apologize and work towards a better self. She feels bad for her actions and the way she’s been affecting Bea and Gregg especially. Bea seems the most affected as she has her always tagging along, and Bea has her own situation that with Mae’s blunt force doesn’t help.

I think what people forget about Mae is that she’s not a comedy joke and nor is she a good person. She’s done awful or just mean things to people because of her own mental issues, but that’s what is so important about her character. Is that she’s such a complicated and working person, that from there one does she realize her need for help and how she could help her friends.

[schnanko]

it's so cool to me that mae's preferred weapon throughout the game is a baseball bat. in the first dream, when she's in the basement with bea...but before either of those, she used one to bash someone's head in.

there's an interesting lack of discomfort. think about it - if you had a break from reality and significantly hurt someone with an object, don't you think you'd want to keep that object far away from yourself? don't you think even seeing it, let alone using it, might be triggering?

but not only does mae continue to veer towards bats, there's no acknowledgement when she uses them. no self reflection needed. it's like she's got no dangerous history with baseball bats.

did she work on that trauma to get to a point where baseball bats aren't a trigger? did it ever register as a trigger? i think the presence of the baseball bat, and mae's response to it, has some interesting insight into mae's feelings towards the event and the impact it had on her. not quite sure what those insights are, will update if i land on something more solid.

[fearlessjournalism]

it’s like. I think if you’re dead at the center of the narrative you are the body or the ghost or the black hole.

1. you are the body. you are there, maybe physically, maybe in reference, but although you are there, the story will never be about who you are, or who you were. maybe the protagonist does feel vaguely bad about your death, or maybe we learn in passing about a trait or two you once had, but neither the protagonist nor the story really care about you personally; in every other way you are a vehicle for plot and themes and projection and the development of others. sometimes you are inhabited by the ghost, even if it isn’t a literal inhabiting within the world of the story.

2. you are the ghost. you are seen, to a degree. generally speaking, we as the audience know the kind of person you were, and your most defining interests, and enough other details about the life you lived to prove you were living a life. it’s a version of you at partial opacity, but it’s visible. sometimes we physically see you onscreen through flashbacks, or you’re present through someone else telling your story, or we see your perfectly preserved room with all your posters intact. you are missed as a person, or at least as the idea of one, and your character (in both senses of the word, your person and your personality) now has an effect on the plot.

3. the black hole. we as the audience cannot see you, but the plot orbits your gravity, and we know that there was once a star in your position. you are identifiable solely by your effects on the people who knew you. you are more than the body, in that you—you as a person—mattered to the protagonist, but we don’t know enough about you for you to be the ghost. we don’t get scenes with you. we know a few of your traits, or a line or two of a story, all picked up through the things you left behind as they relate to the main characters, but it’s not enough to reconstruct the image of who you once were. as an audience we may not see you, because we do not have enough to envision a whole person through just those pieces, but in the story you are inescapable for those who come too close.

[marsdemo]

the outer wilds and disco elysium and everything everywhere all at once in my head

[alexbraindump]

Night in the Woods & Optimistic Nihilism, Pt. 1: Constellations

“So I believe in a universe that doesn’t care and people who do.”

Night in the Woods manages to create one of the most realistic narratives I’ve ever seen crafted in a video game. And that’s a bold statement, one that shouldn’t be tossed around lightly. Yet I feel entirely concrete in saying it. It’s quite the diverse game, dealing with a range of topics so wide that it’d be hard to cover all of them in one single post. I hope to cover more of them someday, but today I’ll be narrowing in on one specific point that resonated especially well with me personally: finding purpose in an existence that is inherently devoid of it.

And it’s here that I’m going to say that, to anyone who hasn’t played NITW yet, stop reading this right now and go pick it up. It’s only $20 and with it comes an experience that remains consistently enjoyable and impactful throughout its entire runtime. I won’t be holding back from relevant spoilers for the rest of this post, so now’s your only chance. Go away. But come back once you’ve played the game. That’d be pretty cool I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~MILD SPOILER TERRITORY BELOW~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that the uninitiated are gone, it’s finally time to wrap back around to that quote at the beginning of this post. A universe that doesn’t care, and people who do. It perfectly aligns with the definition of optimistic nihilism, a term seemingly dubbed by a youtube channel in 2017. For those who are unaware, optimistic nihilism is exactly what it says on the tin. It’s the philosophy that the universe is inherently uncaring, that there’s no concrete meaning to life that we can grasp onto, yet we as human beings are uniquely capable of creating our own meaning without requiring some higher power or order to do it for us. We can choose to pursue what we wish for out of our lives, free to choose our own individualized path through the blank slate that is existence and draw whatever patterns we may choose from it.

As you read through that brief summary you may have already begun to understand exactly why I consider Night in the Woods to align particularly well with optimistic nihilism. The game is not exactly lacking in the theme of finding meaning within things that may be meaningless in the most literal sense. It’s been there since the very beginning, with NITW’s first supplemental game Longest Night. It’s a simple little game featuring Mae, Bea, Gregg and Angus identifying various constellations and making characteristically entertaining quips about each of them. Despite the game’s relative simplicity it acts as an early (over 3 years before NITW itself released!) establishment of NITW’s ever-present theme of establishing meaning in things that don’t have meaning by themselves by using one simple thing: constellations.

Constellations are a perfect medium to establish the philosophy of optimistic nihilism and it is evident that Infinite Fall were acutely aware of that from a very early point in the development of NITW. All constellations really are just patterns of stars we may see in the sky at night that people have assigned their own patterns and meanings to. Most stars sit so far away from the Earth that the human brain struggles to even comprehend how far away they truly are beyond a simple “Wow! That’s pretty far!” They’re balls of gas, unable to care about or even recognize whatever we humans see within them. Most of them have existed for longer than we have and will continue to persist long after we die. Yet the human race has taken it upon themselves to assign patterns to them and continue recognizing said patterns long after we’ve obtained knowledge about what the stars that form them truly are. In nature they hold no inherent meaning and have no rhyme nor reason to their locations relative to each other from our perspective, yet we have used our minds to instill meaning into them and draw patterns that can only be drawn from where we stand. The universe did not care about how it put them there nor how any living being may interpret them, but people cared enough to give them meaning.

Years after the release of Longest Night, Night in the Woods proper came out. And in it the usage of stars was far from ditched. Their function as being one of the elements perpetuating NITW’s optimistic nihilism was only expanded. Every two days in the game you are offered the opportunity to choose to hunt for dusk stars with a character named Mr. Chazokov. The interactions with him themselves don’t offer much in the ways of adding upon the pre-established theme of finding meaning within none, though their mere inclusion does help cement the theme as an important part of the game. The true point in which the theme is finally brought front and center is when the player can choose to go ghost hunting with Angus at Possum Jump. After some uneventful ghost hunting, Mae and Angus decide to rest at the top of a hill and do some stargazing. At this point the game essentially retraces (literally and figuratively) all the ground covered in Longest Night. Mae connects constellations together and Angus names them and gives a brief explanation for each of them. It’s a charming little moment that eventually evolves into Angus explaining the abuse he endured throughout his childhood to Mae. But what’s relevant to this specific analysis is Angus’s attitude throughout. He continually stays true to and loops back upon the fact that, while the stars themselves are very real and the stories given to them do very much exist, the stars really don’t mean anything by themselves. It all culminates with Angus explaining his tragic childhood to Mae. But what’s important to the overall narrative of this essay is Angus’s response when Mae asks him if he believes in anything.

It’s at this point that the game gives its most obvious addressal to its philosophy of optimistic nihilism. It’s like the pot finally boils over and it says “alright, time to finally talk about this.” As a response to being prompted about his beliefs, Angus explains his thoughts by using the constellations recently outlined as a convenient example. It’s here that the quote that spurred this whole essay on shows its head. “So I believe in a universe that doesn’t care and people who do,” is the final quote summarizing Angus’s philosophy on meaning in the universe. And if that isn’t the clearest possible representation of optimistic nihilism in NITW then I don’t know what is. It’s a simple little quote, yet it manages to single handedly encapsulate what optimistic nihilism is. Of course, it’s framed as the view of one character in the game, and a character thinking something doesn’t immediately mean that the entire work subscribes to that philosophy, but as you think about NITW and its various elements more and more it becomes increasingly apparent that it is indeed representative of the philosophy of optimistic nihilism.

And with that vague statement I’ll be leaving off the first part of this little mini-project for the time being. I do intend to come back to it at some point in the (hopefully near) future, as I feel that there’s a lot more that could be said about the themes of finding meaning in Night in the Woods. Currently I’m planning on writing about why I enjoy Mae Borowski as a character so much and see her as one of my favorite video game protagonists, so that’ll probably be done before any other parts to this essay come out. Keep an eye out if you enjoy what I’m posting and want to see more, and don’t be afraid to offer any feedback you may have. There’s a contact section on my profile if you’d like the most effective ways to get in touch.

[pizzakin]

Could I have a kin analysis? The kins are Mae Borowski from Night in the Woods, Duck Newton from The Adventure Zone: Amnesty, Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls, Yakko Warner from Animaniacs, Cherri Cola from Danger Days, Kanaya Maryam from Homestuck, and Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time. Thanks!

ah, apologies for not getting to these sooner.. to get a good kin analysis, i must wake the korekiyo in my brain. i am not used to him being such a heavy sleeper.. i wonder what he found, in those dreams of his. perhaps he simply wanted the stars to be a little less lonely..

kehehe, apologies. now, let us get to the point, yes? you have spent long enough waiting, i shall do my best not to extend that time with my vaguely poetic ramblings.

now, the first thing i noticed before i even looked into the characters that i wasnt aware of on a personal levels.. you seem to kin a few nerds, yes? kehehe, this is no insult. i also have to wonder.. have you gone through some sort of gifted kid burnout? or perhaps just burnout in general. you probably feel as though you’ve failed to meet others expectations.. maybe even your own?

perhaps you were raised being told you had to/you were going to be something great, and now you can’t help but feel like you haven’t really done anything close.. now, i dont know you personally, but i’d like to add quickly that im sure you arent as bad as you think. just in general. our minds tend to be full of funhouse mirrors.. they arent ever that fun, though. not when you are led to believe it is true

hm.. what else.. you might feel like people dont listen to you enough? or at all, if we are being truly pessimistic. perhaps people overlook or ignore you, leaving you to feel unheard? ah, i am a tad less confident with this one, so apologies if this holds no truth in it

well, thats the best analysis i can muster, i think. i truly hope this was to your liking