#kin analysis

[vampthropologist]

KIN LIST DEPOSIT...

ralsei deltarune, corrin fe14, makoto naegi, frisk undertale, chiaki nanami 💔💔

You are such a nice guy filled with such hope for the world despite how much it may have wronged you or how much you might have had to go through. You might be an optimist, or perhaps you are simply someone who has survived and still is able to see positives in things. You might keep your stresses, doubts, and worries to yourself so others don't have to see it or deal with it, which isn't healthy but is understandable. You believe that through it all, there will be a good ending, and if there isn't a good ending then it will be bittersweet at least. Also please don't sacrifice yourself you kind-hearted idiot. (affectionate)

[abnomi]

EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥

i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain

Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]

without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

[kintheartist]

This is hardly a new revelation I'm sure, but realizing that Tolkien's elvish architecture (as designed by John Howe and Alan Lee) was inspired by art nouveau, and the dwarves' architecture was inspired by art deco, made me geek out because it's so clever

Doubtless there are other posts about this but I'll explain for anybody who doesn't know about this because I'm so happy about it:

Art Nouveau is inspired by organic shapes and the natural world. It emerged also from the Arts and Crafts movement, which was a response pushing back against industrialization.

Makes sense for elves because of their relationship to nature and how old they are, right?

Dwarves, on the other hand--their motifs are inspired by art deco. Art deco, in turn, was the replacement for art nouveau, embracing technology and industry and focusing on geometric shapes.

Example from the Hobbit movies:

It works so well because dwarves have such a heavy focus on industry and technology from their very creation by Aulë, and also their history--sleeping until after the elves were made. I'm just screaming over how smart it was to pull artistic inspiration from these two movements!! Like from a design standpoint they work so well, but they also mirror both the culture and history of these civs and I just think that's so neat!!

[dynachan]

Those of you who follow me know that one of my kins is Bakugo...

Which is why suprisingly, when I first watched the first few episodes of MHA back in 2016. I wasn't sure how to feel about Katsuki Bakugo at first. To be honest... Til episode 8 that is...

When I first saw Bakugo, I thought "okay, another bully to the MC trope thing.. yeah yeah whatever..."  But then this happened... This scene right here was the moment I realized, Bakugo's character was a lot more complex than I first thought...

In this scene at first glance, it seems like he's being a dick to Deku like usual. Which granted, is true for the most part... However, this is when I realized this is deeper. This scene I believe is when Bakugo's inferiority complex started to show. You can see him trembling, being hard on himself subtly, getting defensive, and even crying. It was clear at this moment to me that Bakugo had a lot complexities to him than just the typical bully character, and that they were doing something different this time.

[violynt-skies]

How Leo’s role as face man prevents him from confiding with his team

Watching throughout the entire series we see Leo constantly keep up with his role as the face man of the group

While on missions he can use his charisma and persuasion in order to get people to go along with his plans without letting people know what he’s really thinking

But he never seems to put it down

•Leos Emotional Guard

At first glance Leo’s entire personality revolves around being lenient laid back and chill, and to everyone else it makes him seem like a very open book, and that’s why the face man role works out for him

But it means that no one is really aware of anything beneath the surface. They never bother to ask because who would need to?

However, this also includes Leo’s family

Despite his chilled back personality Leo is one of the most emotionally guarded ones out of all of the brothers

Throughout the series we can see little moments of vulnerability from each members of the family, digging deeper into their emotions and their insecurities and then go on to discuss said feelings and gain some form of comfort or closure from their family. Most notable ones shown below

Donnie in “Donnie vs Witch Town”

Raph in “Anatawa Hitorijinai”

Mikey in “Hidden City’s Most Wanted”

April in “Always Be Brownies”

Splinter & Donnie in “Turtledega Nights”

•How Leo is Different

Similar to everyone else, Leo is shown to have these moments sprinkled in too but they never occur with his family

The two most memorable moments we have are shown in “Portaled Jacked” with Senor Hueso and during his one-on-one conversation with Casey

Why these two characters and not one of his close family members?

Because it’s easier talking about problems to strangers and people who don’t know you as they have no previous knowledge or connotations of you to fall back on and there’s no feelings of burden or guilt if you believe the topic will never be discussed with them again. There’s less feelings of consequences that comes with being vulnerable towards people who don’t know you well. Because if you open up more to the people who do, the risk that their opinion of you will change gets higher

Then we add in the fact that Leo is already extremely guarded of his emotions. He doesn’t want his brothers to think less of him because he already isn’t confident of his place in the team already and thus doesn’t confide in them

•Deflecting with Humor

And then the two moments where we do see little slips in Leo’s carefully constructed masks that occur around his family, which we can find in “Minotaur Maze” and “Many Unhappy Returns”

He ends up immediately backtracking and deflecting with humor, thus changing the subject and preventing anyone from delving into it further and reacting to the quips instead

“You know it’d really help me if you guys said that I was your champion.” “Just open it!”

“This whole situation was my plan all along. If it wasn’t, then why’d I ask your tailor to make me this outfit?” “So we could both perish looking super fly?”

What makes it worse is that Leo has such a habit of doing it that his family expects it, which  then causes them to believe there’s no underlying issues beneath the surface and thus don’t react accordingly. (with the addition that both parties had valid reasons for being upset with him at the time)

But it causes a situation of Leo internalizing his emotions, and if he doesn’t expand on the topic himself, then his family won’t see a reason to either nor think there’s an issue to begin with

•The Movie

To add onto this point, we see Raph and Leo arguing over Leo’s role as leader. As usual Leo deflects the argument with humor and avoids the situation. But we can see during the argument that how Leo privately lets down his guard and for a second the audience is able to see how he’s really reacting to Raph’s words. However, it is apparent that Raph doesn’t  see this side of him and most likely never really has

“You just don’t get it Leo”

Now as the audience it is very easy to draw to the conclusion that Leo has clear issues with his role as the leader and most likely many insecurities regarding it thus why he acts the way he does. Like any other serious situation, he copes with, he deflects with humor and tries to avoid it

This argument then implies that in the two years since Leo was made leader of the group, he never revealed his internal issues with it and never made it apparent to his brothers either because he hates being vulnerable

The face man role works for him because it requires skillful work in that you can manipulate people the way you want to without ever letting them know what your thinking. And Leo carries that role with him when it comes to his brothers and family as well. But this doesn’t work out for him anymore when he becomes the leader and communication becomes so important to the team. (I talk about this more on a different post)

Thus the events of the movie and why things played out the way they did

Naturally he learns how to trust in his team more when the situation becomes dire enough that he realizes he can no longer keep deflecting

But even after all the traumatic events that he went through. When it comes to the one time we see him really cry. He still only lets himself cry when he’s completely alone within the prison dimension

TLDR: Leo’s role as the face man is kept on both on and off duty as we find that he is really one of the most emotionally guarded out of all of his brothers as he doesn’t want to let them know what he’s really feeling out of fear that they might think less of him as he is already insecure of his placement in the group and would rather confide in people who don’t know him well over his family where he runs the risk of them treating him differently

Honestly, “Mr. Emotionally Unavailable” has some real competition ahead of him

If we were being completely blunt, all of the brothers have trouble when it comes to letting go of their real emotions, Donnie just being out of his depth with them and it being uncomfortable, Raph wanting to be strong for his brothers, and Mikey most likely wanting to focus on his brother’s emotions over his own as the Therapist of the group, but i believe the Leo definitely has the worst case out of all of them.

[richie-shitlips]

you guys should ask me about my in trousers analysis so i have reason to talk about it and also cause i'm the only one who's correct about it trust me i am marvin

[neonscandal]

Hello, I'm new here and I really liked your tumblr. I would like it if you could answer my question. Don't you think Saturo is a little needy, you know he always wants to get people's attention, he always wants to force a friendship, that scares me a little, he can even be unnecessary sometimes.

Hiii! I literally have no idea how you came across my blog but I'm happy if it made you feel welcome ❤️ Thanks for reaching out.

Don't be scared by the tall man with the impossible eyes and bulk volume suffering. He's here to help! ✨

I mean, you pretty accurately described Gojo, tbqh. He is needy, I wouldn't say he wants to get people's attention... but he has it, anyway, he is desperately reaching out for human connection, he frequently ponders and is consumed by the unnecessary (just as much as the necessary) and people tend to conflate his strength with his identity.

How do we put one at ease with this larger than life personality? We speedrun it, of course. The best way to empathize with someone is to understand how they got from point A to point D and this is as it applies in real life, too. Consider this my humble offering toward this threat I made a few years ago. Going to avoid spoilers beyond what's been animated but this is still going to be a long one so strap in! JK there's a minor spoiler that's marked (⚠️) but it's not a major plot point.

IN DEFENSE OF GOJO

A mostly unsolicited essay ✨

Before we get into how Gojo became Gojo, let's look at the basic information we know about jujutsu society in universe.

Curses are formed by negative emotional runoff, typically from people who can't control cursed energy.

There are humans who are born with cursed techniques but the brains of humans so their powers were dormant until Kenjaku!Geto activated them in the last episode of season 2.

Those with power that are beyond the comprehension of the elders happen to find themselves carrying death sentences (as it applies to Yuta Okkotsu and Yuji Itadori, specifically).

There are 3 Big Families: the Gojo, Kamo, and Zenin Clans, likened to nobility, which have been active since the Golden Age of Jujutsu hundreds of years ago.

Generally, the Gojo clan inherits the Limitless technique. Six Eyes is a lot less frequent and both techniques haven't manifested in one user in over 100 years until Gojo was born. (Purple or Hollow Purple is another hidden move which each family has some extra razzle dazzle offshoots from their main cursed technique.)

Kamo clan passes along Blood Manipulation (re: Choso, Noritoshi Kamo, the Kyoto student, and Noritoshi Kamo, the blemish on the Kamo clan who created the cursed womb paintings)

Zenin clan has the Ten Shadows Technique (re: Megumi. Bear in mind, previously a Zenin Ten Shadows user fought a Gojo Six Eyes + Limitless user and the fight ended in a stalemate that resulted in both of their deaths).

Anomalies, like that of Maki and Toji, exist even in these age old clans where an heir is born without the ability to manipulate cursed energy and/or see curses.

Of the above and those of the main cast specifically, the inheritors of these generations' old techniques have pretty shit origin stories. They are privileged but cursed in a way. Heavy is the head, and all.

BIG THREE FAMILY CULTURE

We haven't gotten a lot of insight into the Gojo clan except that it's basically a clan of one: Satoru Gojo.

Noritoshi, the Kyoto student, bears the name of the blot of the Kamo clan and is a bastard son who happened to inherit the familial technique. Because of this, he is shepherded into the fold of the Kamo the family, foisted into a position of responsibility, and separated from his "disgrace" of mother. She leaves him, knowing her presence would hold him back, and hopes that her sacrifice in doing so will enable him to better help others. ⚠️ However, when Kenjaku!Geto used remote Idle Transfiguration to awaken dormant vessels and dormant cursed technique users, the proper firstborn heir of the Kamo clan's inherited technique was awakened which swiftly saw Noritoshi's expulsion from his status and the clan.

The most damning evidence we have of the culture of these families is from the Zenin clan:

They terrorized Toji Zenin, despite his inhuman strength, simply because he was born without the ability to manipulate cursed energy. To the extent that an incident from his childhood left his face scarred and likely radicalized him into the sorcerer killer he is today.

Mai and Maki were gravely mistreated because, in addition to being girls, they were born twins which is considered highly unfavorable.

The twin superstition is "justified" by Mai's weak cursed technique and Maki's inability to see curses or manipulate cursed energy.

The misogynistic treatment of the girls is likely not uncommon within the Big Three families given 1) what we've seen happen to Kamo's mom, 2) the treatment of the twins' mother, and 3) the way that Gojo vehemently advises that Tsumiki would never be happy with the Zenin clan (as both a jujutsu outside and because she's a girl as determined by events that haven't been animated yet).

Empirically, from the above, we can extrapolate that familial ties don't mean shit in the Big Three Families, blood relations are tenuous at best. Tradition, power and hereditary techniques reign supreme to maintain status. Those outside of the blessed few are at the mercy of more powerful members of the family which will be more evident in season 3.

💡 As an aside, kinda interesting to think about Geto's ideology applied to these traditional families. In fact, I wonder if Geto cultivated his beliefs based on what Gojo told him about his family.

UNDERSTANDING THE CHARACTERIZATION OF GOJO

Now that we understand society as Gojo would have known it, let's get into how he experiences the world from birth.

Canonically, his birth shifted the power balance between sorcerers and curses. A lot of readers assume he has a god complex which, in addition to being categorically false, is more a reflection of his canonical in universe power. He is neither a god nor does he necessarily perceive himself to be one. But that's not to say he doesn't have a bit of an attitude problem.

He is born with both the Limitless and Six Eyes techniques which, again, hasn't happened in over 100 years. Subsequently, stronger curses are on the rise to compensate for this dramatic shift in power.

💡 Lowkey, I kinda headcanon that the influx of more powerful curses comes from the bitter resentment that periphery individuals must have harbored against Gojo because, let's be real. He's clearly Mappa's favorite and it brings out the anti in everybody IRL lol I can only imagine in universe if you were born to a jujutsu family and lost out on the genetic lottery when it came to cursed energy.

He explicitly draws the ire of curses and cursed users alike with a bounty that immediately incites an onslaught of first come, first serve mercenaries. As a child. Even Toji, the great sorcerer killer, tries to get the drop on a young Satoru Gojo but none are successful at coming close. Not even the invisible man.

From what we know of the Big Three above, the miracle of Gojo's inheritance would likely push him into a place of great power and influence within his clan, even from an early age. Further, we've seen what the burden of responsibility an inherited technique looks like as it applies to Noritoshi Kamo. Gojo would have been burdened with this status and, simultaneously, constantly placated by others so as to appease the miraculous heir.

Additionally, as we saw with Noritoshi, other clans may also have a vested interest in currying favor with the young heir because even proximity to Gojo creates a sense of power and status.

By blood, Yuta is a distant, distant cousin of Gojo's from a branch family and we see how OP he is.... Later in the story, Gege makes it a point to use the Great Satoru Gojo as a measure of power and, subsequently, more explicitly how close other characters' power, prowess or technique come close to that of Gojo's.

Subsequently, as the Kamo clan heir, Noritoshi tries to ingratiate himself to Megumi despite the fact that he's no longer even connected to the Zenin clan. He curses that Mai didn't inherit Ten Shadows to make relations a bit smoother. Gojo would likely have several people vying for his attention and grace whether he wants it or not.

I think you can see how, a smart kid like Gojo who literally has nothing but time to process and compute the ways of the world around him, would come to understand the motivations of others as it specifically relates to him and his power. It would be understandable if he were innately wary and distrustful of others, especially when you consider his initial experience as the target of an onslaught of, albeit unsuccessful, assassination attempts.

Here, I think, is what really gives life to the isolation that Gojo feels from a very young age which is only known by those with immense power like Sukuna and other characters who've yet to be revealed. Gojo is less an individual and more a means to an end. He is a monolith for power, protection and status. His power is so incomprehensible for other sorcerers of the era that his potential for vulnerability is taken for granted.

With a culture that prioritizes strength over, perhaps, morality, it makes sense why, when we see Gojo years later as a high school student, he is relatively disrespectful toward his elders and thinks it is silly that the strong should have to diminish themselves for the comfort of the weak. Bear in mind, this disrespect is likely because no one was really checking him on manners from a young age. Further, from his experience, strength has always been commodified, why would you diminish that? He was and remains head of the Gojo clan with all the pomp and circumstance that comes with that.

Enter Suguru Geto, the smoking gun as to why we know Gojo doesn't have a god complex. Suguru, like Geto, is the only other special grade sorcerer aside from Yuki Tsukumo (and she makes it a point to not take missions). Qualified as equals, the two are constantly doled out missions that higher ups are not even equipped to handle. Try not catching an ego about that.

Even though their power may not necessarily be on par with one another, it is enough that Gojo deems Geto an equal. Their friendship tempers Gojo's character in ways his family could not.

THE HUMANITY OF A GOD

Gojo is not a god but, to those around him, he's certainly lauded as such. Part of that entails inherently overlooking that which makes him vulnerable, makes him human. As someone who can, at will, literally turn off the ability to be touched at all, the premise is ironic. But the fact remains, from all the above and his behavior therein, it seems as though Gojo had to wait until high school to act like a kid at all and that is all thanks to Geto.

As an outsider, Geto's opposing ideology suggests that the strong are meant to protect the weak and keep others who are strong in check. Gojo is frequently shown taking Geto's criticism and point of view under critical advisement. In fact, realizing how out of touch he is with the reality of others, he defers to Geto as a moral compass, trusting implicitly in his judgement.

Not only that but, from what we saw during the Kyoto Goodwill Event, it is not uncommon for sorcerers to be wary of disclosing what their cursed technique is to other sorcerers. You can never be too careful nor can you know who's a cursed user in the making, even amongst your own classmates. With inherited techniques, word gets around but... Geto, an outsider, was intimately aware of the drawback Gojo experienced when overusing his technique and that speaks volumes about how comfortable Gojo was being vulnerable with him.

Geto encourages Gojo to speak more politely to his elders, again, a pushback he clearly wasn't getting anywhere else or, perhaps, direction he simply wasn't taking from anyone else.

Because Gojo recognizes Geto as an equal, he is more relaxed and able to behave accordingly which Geto graciously allows and creates a safe space for. Imagine all the steam this little weirdo has been holding in out of obligation? Moreover, as someone who has always undeniably been the strongest person in any room, imagine the relief in finally knowing that there is someone else you can rely on? Feel safe with? Someone you can be needy and greedy with. Gojo found his One and Only best friend.

Geto allows him to authentically be himself AND HE STARES AT HIM LIKE THIS WHILE DOING SO!

Additionally, we talk about Gojo being unnecessary at time, which he is. I poke a lot of fun at how Gojo will take in what someone like Yaga explains to him and then the output is some Digimon reference a lot. He literally speaks in gibberish half the time but Geto just... understands him. Or makes it a point to try. Bear in mind, Gojo's silly goofiness belies his penchant for serious contemplation, as well, as he's knowledgeable about historical poetry, prominent figures and events. The dichotomy of this is whiplash inducing to Ijichi. If you think about the adage, those who don't know history are destined to repeat it, it shines an interesting light on why Gojo seems to have such a wealth and emphasis on the history of not only jujutsu sorcerers but also other politics at play dating back centuries. Even more so if you consider ItaFushi to be SatoSugu 2.0 as... the story kind of feels that way, doesn't it? BACK TO THE POINT, Gojo behaves like a fool but he isn't stupid.

I think this arrogance and silly facade is a product of being plugged into the reality of what it truly means for the few to protect the greater good. He's probably hyper aware of the prospective survival rate of his peers based on empirical information he has at his disposal. It's why he pointblank tells Ijichi not to become a sorcerer. I think it's also why he's frivolous with having and creating fun. Not just for his kohais but later for his students. With Geto, he experiences a closeness he hadn't had with anyone else and it improves his ability to connect with others by extension.

I know this is not from the canon material but I think this is the perfect inclusion as to Gojo's proclivity for frivolity. LOOK AT HIM.

MISSION FAILURE AND FALL OUT

Based on the information we have currently, Gojo didn't exactly have the same splintered origins that Megumi and Noritoshi had. But from the above and his socialization with people outside of the Gojo clan, we see how coming from a place of privilege can still create deficiencies. But it isn't enough to simply learn and benefit from the good times. Maybe people take for granted that which isn't tested or taken away. We can't fully understand adult Gojo without understanding the failures of teenage Gojo.

Tasked with a mission that literally impacts the fate of the world and is relayed as such, the two special grade sorcerers take on the Star Plasma Vessel mission. As we saw in season 2, it didn't exactly end well. From this we can glean the following:

From the beginning and despite that which hung in the balance if they were unsuccessful, Gojo and Geto were willing to blow it all, come what may, if the vessel opted out of the merger. They were willing to fight Tengen themselves to spare one life even if it destabilized everything else. The idea of which seems Icarian in nature and we saw how that worked out for Icarus.

Toji's plan of attrition (wearing Gojo down specifically) was successful partly because of the false sense of security engineered by Shiu Kong that allowed them to recapture Kuroi.

However, based on Gojo's hubris, Gojo and Geto were already living in a false sense of security. Any attempts Geto made to temper Gojo's ego were appeased by the fact that, he wasn't alone. Finally. He had Geto and Gojo was insulated in the comfort and security he found in Geto's company. He could take on Tengen, he could risk another night in Okinawa burning through his stamina. It did not matter if he had Geto to rely on. They were the strongest.

Turns out it did matter and they were both foiled, thoroughly. The fall out of these events results in the following:

Gojo's evolution wherein he learns how to control reversed curse energy which shoots him past his previous limits.

Gojo avenges his loss to Toji and Riko, by extension (that order feels important to mention). He achieves a level of enlightenment and transcendence which saw the successful use of the Red Technique that he'd been unable to use in a fight against a lackey during the same mission which also made it possible to execute the finisher attack Hollow Purple, resulting in the fight's end.

Upon reclaiming Riko's body from the Time Vessel Association, Gojo, in the haze of his victory, asks Geto if they should slaughter the people celebrating Riko's death. Showing that, regardless of his power up, he still needs Geto's guidance and values the opinion of his equal. I say this even though we know Gojo lies about Shoko treating his injuries. Even he's aware that this latest evolution creates a greater disparity between their relative strength but he defers to him anyway.

Geto begins questioning whether the lives of non-sorcerers who are capable of such evil are really worth fighting and/or dying for.

The acknowledgement that, even though there is nothing beyond special grade classification, Gojo became the strongest.

Foundationally, Gojo came to terms with the vulnerability that Toji was able to exploit and subsequently trained to remediate that. Simultaneously, Geto fell deeper and deeper into a despair over a persisting moral crisis that Gojo, with Six Eyes at his disposal, was incapable of seeing or understanding. The occurrence of which is maddening to me, personally but such is the way of a fatal flaw.

Geto's subsequent and "sudden" defection pulled the rug from beneath Gojo's feet.

We have seen him dust off countless attempts on his life as a child, shoulder the burden of the Gojo clan as a child, execute his obligations as a sorcerer regardless of his beliefs as a child, and bear the brunt of jujutsu society because of the magnitude of his strength as a child and he never batted an eye. Not to say he didn't have something flippant to say about it but he endured it.

But with Geto's abandonment, whatever security he'd finally found was abruptly destabilized and it's important to note that only when it comes to Geto do we see Gojo's nonchalant facade falter. When he learns of the attack on the village with Yaga, when he confronts Geto in the streets of Shinjuku, when he encounters Kenjaku wearing Geto's corpse, he's not so silly goofy anymore is he?

Finding Geto was like finally feeling the warmth of the summer sun on your face after living in the shadows of a cave all your life. For Gojo, his departure was like never knowing that warmth again.

Not to mention, his immense power and status of being the only other special grade sorcerer meant he also had to carry the weight of being his best friend's executioner. Please.

He spends his adult life cultivating strength in others, rescuing kids from a society that seeks to destroy what they refuse to understand, uniting other so they aren't burdened by the same loneliness that plagues him and, whenever possible, trying to bring light and fun to the lives of kids who may never make it out of high school because that's the reality of sorcerers. That's the burden of responsibility they carry so, in between missions, he tries to be silly, he tricks them, he leads them on wild goose chases so they actually get out and experience their youth properly.

You're not meant to fear Gojo. Fear the society that allowed for these things to happen because he's trying to fix it. If anything, pity the man who is not allowed to be weak or vulnerable because he has always known the weight of the world. He could have been a god but he chose instead to love and it was his undoing.

If you'd like to pity Gojo further, dive into an expansive list of all the SatoSugu brainrot I could think of.

Lowkey, this feels like a call out, because why am I also terrible like this?? Am I being cyber bullied? I feel like this took me several days to write.

[her-reidiance]

A Kindred Spirit's Revelations, or: How This Arknights Player only came to love Lappland infinitely more — a Treatise by Her-Reidiance

I have had so many thoughts about Lappland in Il Siracusano it's insane. She afflicts my brain like Oripathy. Please bear with me, below is a long post and contains spoilers for the event.

EDIT: This part is misremembered, I apologize. The Saluzzos took in Cellinia Texas 7 years ago, after the Texas famiglia was "liquidated" for rebelling against Signora Sicilia. Yet Salvadore also sent Cellinia to live with them before the purge.

Lappland and Texas have been through how much together... was Lappland infected after Cellinia was taken in? How did those changes start to show... slowly or rapidly? Did Lappland's obsession begin with Cellinia first leaving Siracusa, or was it prior to that? Despite what we do gain knowledge of in the event, there's still some open doors.

We do know that they know each other quite well, and there's still some vestige of trust before the event's conclusion, this being my favorite representation:

The fact that Cellinia doesn't even bat an eye at the fact that Lappland broke into a supposedly well secured prison, but also the fact that she accepts the treat that Lappland brought, only to then realize it's her least favorite flavor — a fact Lappland had to have known going into this — sets my heart on fire. They know each other so well! They're complementary, contrasting, they have intimate knowledge of each other (take this phrase as you will, I already know how I do) and they regularly stay in some sort of off-balance with each other.

But the fact is, Lappland's obsession with Cellinia isn't just some textbook stalker with a crush, like what most would initially think given what had been presented prior to Il Siracusano. As Lappland says herself:

Lappland grew up the perfect Siracusan, the perfect Donna in training, the perfect killer. She was everything that could be expected of a woman in her station. She didn't see any way out of that life. It's what she was born in, it's what she will die in. But then along comes Cellinia Texas, doing nothing to save her family's life when the time comes to exterminate them, simply walking away from it all, and then walking away from her years later to go to Lungmen. Whatever condition Lappland was in by then, a switch was flicked on nonetheless, and she realized: "Oh... if it sucks... I can hit the bricks!"

But could she, really? What if Texas came back to Siracusa, and found that she could not truly escape her destined life after all, that she was just as bound to this place as Lappland was and would die here? That was the real test, and thus the events of Il Siracusano take place. But, when all is said and done, and it's just the two of them alone in the park...

I love this so much because it illustrates that our favorite insanity wolf has evolved! There is progress in her character arc! It's in an absolutely unhinged direction but it is no less in character for it. Her obsession has left from focusing solely on Texas as the Ideal, and now focused on destroyed Siracusa as a sort of Anti Ideal. Lappland now knows she is not bound by fate or blood or destiny to the place she was born. She too can simply watch the flames consume her family, her life, and walk away. And unlike Cellinia, she intends to be the one to light the match. The narrative gestures to this as well:

Lappland is now able to face the world, the wide world around her, not just as backdrops to her pursuit of Cellinia, but as hers to explore, to enjoy, to destroy as she wishes!

This moment is so much to me. It's the sudden clarity in her vision that demonstrates that she finally sees Cellinia as her own person, as just Texas the woman. Texas the Penguin Logistics courier. Texas, the woman who left. And she's no longer Lappland Saluzzo, shackled to her family name or a predestined future as its leader. She's... just Lappland.

Part time soulmates, Full time problem. No other dynamic can sum them up. Texas still cares for Lappland, just as she does Giovanna, as a part of her past that she did not altogether dislike. But she also sees more clearly than either of them. Giovanna, stuck in the past when she was Cellinia's best friend. Lappland, presently stuck on destroying the city around her as a final show of independence.

Finally, Lappland leaves the city, after a couple of loose ends are wrapped up. She wanders the wasteland, where the freshly defeated Zaaro happens upon her.

She fights Zaaro for THREE MONTHS in the middle of desolate wastelands. In all of that time, Zaaro didn't kill her, because he came to realize that there was no point in it. There was no satiation to be found for doing so, and that her fractured mind makes her a perfect candidate to be his next Fang. She is an empty husk, a woman who has nothing to live for by herself, but she is full. Full of training, full of potential, full of a singular goal; she is perfect to serve as the vengeance that Zaaro wishes to exact on Siracusa for his failure. And so, they team up, forming a bond forged in mutual hate. Not unlike the original appearance of Eddie Brock and Venom, truly.

The timing of the Azione Solo stories seems ambiguous to me, but some of them definitely take place after the main events of Il Siracusano. Of course, while I'm on the subject, let's discuss Lappland's solo story. I believe I have space left for more pictures so I'll share a few.

The summation is that Lappland makes a minor cameo in Cellinia's, in which she leaves a radio for the Texas to find, and she also goes about rooting through her family's estate one more time. She finds a photo of her younger self, and reminisces slightly on it. In between there was also a musbeast that she found and decided to keep, until it was taken and slain by the Saluzzo mafiosos.

After reminiscing about her father, and how doomed he — and as a result, she — are by being born as Saluzzos, as part of the mafia famiglie system... she destroys the image, while lamenting briefly that once again, the beloved pet of hers was killed by her father, laughing maniacally. To her, there still is no escape, or at least that's one way her mind leans. She knows Cellinia left, but maybe... maybe she cannot. All she can do is burn it down so there is nothing left to trap her. Nothing left to come back to. Scorched earth.

Finally, she dismisses Capone from her tentative services, having recruited him and Gambino at the end of Code of Brawl. Capone at this point realizes a bit just how absolutely feral and insane his "boss" is, and he is ready to die trying to kill her to be rid of her, by holding a knife in his sleeve. Of course, this is Lappland we're talking about. She sees through it right away and expresses probably one of her more genuine selves by stating that he's making a choice, and that's enough for her. He's free to go. The duplicitous Lappland, who prior might just have killed him for the sake of... sport? Insurance? On a whim? Lets him go instead, because she respects that he is making a choice for himself, rather than what he had been doing all event, which is walking on eggshells around her and trying not to be killed by her. We leave Lappland's story for now with this:

This implies that she returns to the city at some point after contracting with Zaaro. This to me shows promise of a continuance of her character. Lappland, The Fang of Zaaro, 6-star Operator coming sometime. Maybe during the Laterano event? After all, there's much more questions left to be answered... like why Lappland, a Lupo from Siracusa, can use Arts so well; and implied to be a skill of hers before her infection... but that's a ramble for another post.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all understand my kinship with Lappland a little better, or at least have a bit more appreciation for this wonderful, horrible, terrifying, beautiful creature.

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Writing Mordred is slowly making me realise I don’t actually hate him.

The more I think about it, the more I realise he’s just a traumatised child who felt trapped and ran out of options when every single person in his life who was supposed to help him failed in some way or others. Most in more than one way if we’re being honest.

The kid literally had no one to turn to when the girl he loved died and was openly hated by the guy he’s thought of as a god since he was a child.

Like let that sink in.

Merlin openly wished him dead, and Mordred literally worshipped the ground he walked on.

(I’m usually a Merlin apologist but bloody hell he fucked up at every opportunity when it came to Mordred)

Morgana was the exact opposite of his morals but wanted magic free, (at the cost of non magic users lives which is also problematic, but that’s a different conversation) so he didn’t stick around with her, but when Camelot no longer felt safe for him, he ran.

Which is definitely a trauma response considering how he grew up with the Druids and then whatever the fuck happened after he left them.

Arthur was the only person who was continuously good for him, saving him as a child and later becoming a brother/father figure, but then he killed Kara and Mordred had to watch another magic user be killed by Camelot except this time it was someone he truly believed was good. He didn’t see her attacking Arthur like she did, just that the king of Camelot was killing another magic user which was bound to bring up trauma that he hasn’t felt safe enough to unpack and heal from.

I have a lot more to say on this, but I’ve got to leave for work in a few minutes so I’ll come back and scream about it another time

Fucking Mordred though, poor kid. He really went through it.

[lilac-gold]

hero & mari's friendship has so many more layers than people typically consider, and it's genuinely so painful to think about.

to begin, they're both people pleasers, determined to impress everyone and act as role models to the younger kids. they settle for nothing less than perfection, mari practicing her piano for countless hours on end, hero earning solely first place awards. they both feel the pressure of everyone's expectations, of knowing that they're obligated to go above and beyond, to do more and more to impress. but nothing is ever enough, not when those expectations just get higher and higher the more they strive to meet them, so it builds up to the point where they can only feel satisfied achieving flawlessness. but flawlessness isn't possible, not when there's always something else to criticise, something that could have been better. they're both placed on pedestals because that's where they want to be, they need to be. they take it upon themselves to be perfect, so perfect is how they appear.

mari is gentle, caring, funny, wise. she offers bountiless good advice at only the cost of your love-- because she needs love, needs the validation that she's doing well or else her efforts will have all been for nothing. she's the perfect older sister, looking out for her little brother and protecting him where necessary. she's the perfect musician, dedicated and quick-fingered, composing masterpieces at the age of fifteen. she's the perfect student, spending hours after school studying to ensure that she does the best she can in her exams.

hero is compassionate, talented, charming, helpful. he offers assistance to anyone, all they have to do is ask-- because he can't say no, not when that would be letting people down. he's the perfect older brother, joking around with kel, setting a good example, keeping him out of trouble. he's the perfect hobbyist, taking an interest in cooking, each meal as good as the last as he puts his all into making them delicious. he's the perfect student, incredibly hard-working and doing his parents proud.

in the real world, hero and mari don't seem to have many friends. they spend all of their time in the group of six. they feature in the vast majority of the photo album's photos, and are often implied to be together in the scenes neither of them feature in. hero isn't particularly close to anyone when he returns to faraway, not seeking out anybody his own age to catch up with. when mari dies, it's sunny, kel, aubrey, basil and hero who are affected deeply.

but they have each other. they talk together, have fun together, work hard together. they understand each other in a way no-one else does, because they're in the same position.

hero isn't just "mari's malewife". mari isn't just "hero's girlfriend". their relationship goes so much deeper than just an implied romantic connection, because in the whole world, these two lean on each other the most. they're both older siblings. they're both straight a students. they're both masters at what they love. they're both the pride and joy of their parents. they're the same in so many ways, and that means they can trust each other.

hero and mari grow up together, and they grow up always trying to impress people. always avoiding disappointing them. they bottle everything up and hide it under warm smiles because they have to be perfect. they can't be anything less, or else they risk losing the images they've worked so hard to build, the images they can't afford to lose. not now, not ever.

they can't tell anyone about their struggles. about how hard a perpetual state of perfection is to preserve. about the crushing weight of expectations that never leaves their shoulders. about the endless responsibilities seizing hold of them in a vice grip, and their own steadfast refusal to burden anyone with their "problems". they're not supposed to have problems. they're supposed to be perfect.

they can't tell anyone, except for each other.

so that's who they go to. they each know the other inside out, know every intricacy and detail of their trains of thought, because their minds work in the same way. they're able to connect, to provide those pillars of support they can't get anywhere else, because they've always been a shoulder for someone else to lean on with no wall behind them to catch any falls caused by the weight.

they listen to each other. there's no judgement, no fear of disappointment. only the burning need to let out the fears plaguing their minds, to be allowed to feel bad, to have someone that won't be disappointed or shocked about their problems. they're teenagers with what feels like the weight of the world atop them, but together, they're able to share the burden.

looking at the other is like staring into a half-faded reflection, because hero and mari are both broken mirrors showing only the images people want to see. the cracks are hidden by their light, any imperfections masked and obscured by the awe brought forth via their achievements. but hero sees mari's silently shattered shards, and mari sees hero's. and they're always, always there for each other to slowly start mending the cracks.

and then mari "kills herself". and hero's left alone.

there's always been an unspoken vow between them, a promise that they'd support each other no matter what. that they could trust each other with anything. and hero stares up at a limp, lifeless corpse, and he doesn't know why mari couldn't trust him with this.

the worst part is, he knew there could have been signs, because he knows mari's endless cheerfulness isn't all genuine. he knows she gets irritable when she doesn't achieve flawlessness. he knows she won't let anyone else see her cry. he knows she's been battling the voices inside of her head for ages now.

but it's only in the months succeeding her death that he truly knows what depression feels like. for a while, there's only his suffocating devastation and grief, only the world-shattering fact that his best friend, his confidant, his pillar, is gone forever. and without her, he crumbles.

he goes to her funeral, and sees a never-ending array of black umbrellas on a cold, wet, miserable day. he holds no umbrella of his own. the water trickles into the unfeeling fabric of his black suit, sends shivers down his spine that should have forced him to react, plasters unbrushed hair to his forehead, mingles with the salty tears spilling down his cheeks. the sun shined brighter when she was here, and now that she's gone, he can only let the chill of the rain seep into his skin.

he returns home, and crawls into bed, into the empty embrace of heavy blankets and a darkness he wishes would consume him, and spends hours upon hours upon hours simply sobbing into his pillow. it seems impossible that she's gone. that the only person he could count on, the only person who understood him, the person he'd vowed to face the world with, the person he's relied on so heavily, is gone. gone forever. gone of her own volition, because she could see no reason to keep living.

hero wasn't reason enough. he wasn't good enough. he's tried so hard for so long not to let anyone down, but it's clear to him now that he's failed her. and that's his breaking point, when the half-sealed cracks all burst back apart. there's no point in trying anymore. there's no way to win. he can't fathom keeping up the picture of perfection without her.

mari wasn't the perfect older sister. she snapped at sunny when he got distracted during practice, brushed off aubrey when the girl offered to help out with the recital, spent her days too preoccupied to offer advice. she wasn't the perfect musician. she couldn't bear the thought of hitting even one wrong note, obsessing over the cursed piece she'd created even as it continuously refused to meet her sky-high standards. she wasn't the perfect student. she didn't even live beyond the start of freshman year.

hero's no longer the perfect older brother. he doesn't respond when kel tries to reach out to him, any words buried under the dirt covering a grave he slowly digs for himself over the next year. he's not the perfect hobbyist. he can't bring himself to so much as think of indulging in his passions, believes that he doesn't deserve to have nice things and no longer finds that spark of joy appear at the prospect of cooking. he's not the perfect student. he doesn't go to school over the next year, completely sectioned off from everyone else as he rots out of sight of the sun.

mari was gentle, caring, funny, wise. mari was stubborn, secretive, secluded, sensitive.

hero was compassionate, talented, charming, helpful. hero was silent, selfish, subordinate, spineless.

hero is all alone. mari is dead dead dead dead dead.

he finds himself following in her footsteps, and holds it all in. really, what else can he do? his only confidant is gone. he refuses to face a world without mari in it. he shouts at the one person who still sees him as someone to admire. he breaks down time and time and time again, a constant disappointment.

but he's seen how mari's death has affected his little brother. he knows how his own would, too. and he can't do that to kel. that would extinguish the one bit of light he has left. the sun may have shined brighter when mari was here, but with kel, some of its glow still remains.

so he gets up. he learns to try again. and this time, he does it all alone.

he reconnects with kel, as false as his efforts feel to himself. he tries not to think of how much better mari was at this, how much easier it had been to put on a grin with her in his life. he watches out for kel, notices when his smiles flicker just a little too much and offers to take him to gino's. perfect older sibling.

he takes up every extracurricular he can find, and brings home trophy upon trophy in each to demonstrate his capabilities. he works hard and learns fast, and is handed shiny plaques of silver and gold that indicate his mastery of skills he can't bring himself to truly enjoy. perfect hobbyist.

he makes up for the year of school he's missed by dedicating hours upon hours to studying. he passes with honours and goes to one of the best colleges he can find. he takes the course he's expected to, and pretends the sight of blood doesn't sicken him to his core. perfect student.

he upholds mari's legacy. he does everyone proud. it's a hollow sentiment.

throughout it all, he doesn't visit mari's grave once. he doesn't so much as mention her name, despite her haunting his every waking and sleeping thought. he misses her more than words can say, but he can't handle looking back on their memories. he claims he's doing just fine without her. he's a liar.

hero's always had a tendency to bottle things up, but after her death, that gets infinitely worse. he doesn't risk getting close to anyone, lest he fail them too. he closes himself off. people like him, people know him, but he doesn't have friends. not really. he's always been a little disliked, a little ostracised, a little different. he cares so much about how others perceive him, but the one group he's never managed to win over is those he was expected to be closest to. that was where both he and mari had struggled.

at least before, they'd had each other. now, hero makes it through the dull, monotonous cycle of his life by himself. he finishes high school, but moves onto college. he leaves behind faraway, but brings a huge piece of it with him. he tries to manage. he keeps it all hidden in neat little rows, fragile bottles on slanting shelves he does his very best to balance. he teeters precariously on the edge of a breakdown with every step he takes, but doesn't let anyone take notice. he wraps it all up under charming smiles and silken words. without the sun to guide him, he fades into the shadows as easily as he breathes. he's just another student, nothing particularly special about him, and while it's different and strange, it's in plenty of ways relieving. average people don't let anyone down. now it's only his parents he still has to impress. he pretends to be happy, and ignores the ghost he seems to be following every footstep of.

hero's alone, but it's better that way. mari died because he wasn't good enough to save her. he won't let anyone else down. never again.

he hopes mari would be proud of him. (he knows she'd hate what he's become.)

i feel like these two are often dismissed due to the lack of focus on their arcs and characters in canon, but there's so, so much about them to unpick that's lying in the subtext. hero and mari are such tragic, interesting, complicated characters, and it's sad to see them be brushed aside. no matter how you see their dynamic, there's so much to explore surrounding them, both separately and as a pair, and i'd love to see more people discussing just how brilliantly complex they really are.

[tanoraqui]

I love your world building! Your name ideas are awesome. Love the idea of Indis being a true prophetic mother name

-@outofangband

Belated thank you! Also, sharing my thought process on that one because it's a very classic Silmarillion headcanon origin: it bothers me that Indis's name means "bride." I hate how it reduces her to a feminine trope - at "best", only here to have a troubled marriage; if you're a staunch Fëanorian, a femme fatale homewrecker. I immensely dislike how this is, in fact, an fairly accurate description of her role in the story...

Which is deliberate on Tolkien's part! The "canonically correct" way to ameliorate this misogyny (though neither erase nor excuse it) is to remember that this whole text is a mixture of history, legend and myth passed through multiple storytellers over thousands of years, translated and re-translated and interpreted through the eyes of elves and men and hobbits and men again, until even if this person ever actually existed in the history of Middle Earth - IF! - "Indis" probably wasn't even her epessë, much less her commonly used name. Probably her name got ink blotted on it at some point, or mixed up with someone else's name, and the next Númenorean scholar to rewrite the text followed the Archetypal School of historical interpretation and decided to name her "Indis" because of her role in the story...

But this, too, bothers me. Because I love the framing device of these various books, I love the historian-given dubious canonicity of literally every detail of The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and especially of The Silmarillion. But! We need some solid canon upon which to hang all our headcanons, so it's imperative to retain a delicate mental balance of knowing everything could be made up (more than it already is by being fiction!) while also adhering to as much as possible as something that Really Did Happen - and names are pretty solidly in the latter category. I mean, everyone has multiple and for those who don't, we tend to make more up, but a belief in the basic premise of the text is necessary in order to function in any fandom, and "names of characters" is pretty "basic premise."

So it's impossible to ignore that her name is Indis; and it's impossible to ignore that the name "Indis" is closely connected to her place in the narrative, more than most characters, and that said place is uncomfortably non-feminist - you can round out her character all you like, but you have to admit that her role in the story is to be the Second Wife and Mother whose acts of being a wife and mother cause trouble! That's a fact! And it's not great! And the name "Indis" isn't helping because if she was named anything but her literal narrative role, that would be characterization! She could be noble like Artanis, she could be of the sea like Eärwen, but she's not! She's just "bride"!

...so, I redeem this by making this definition of her life deliberate within the text - and not just by a future Númenorean scholar, but by Indis's mother. (Female! O! Cs!) Furthermore, names of prophecy are implicitly grand (even if they're not necessarily either good or bad). It makes being a bride itself feel more active - and why not! Do Indis's acts of love and marriage not change the fate of the world just as much as Lúthien's? Consider that Indis's act of marriage is so important that it echoes back through the Great Music to be known by her mother as she held the future bride as a babe in arms. Consider a mother holding her child under stars beside a lake and going, "damn, this kid is gonna have ripple effects. I should add a bragging warning label."

Also, if you accept the headcanons that

a) most Elvish languages treat "sex" (physical) and "marriage" (soul-bonding) as basically synonymous; and

b) Indis spends thousands of years in the Second/Third ages patiently and stubbornly figuring out how to Make It Work between herself, Finwë and Miriel, such that all three of them can marry with genuine all-around mutual love unto the end of days, for peace among the still-troubled Noldor but mostly for happiness for herself and those she loves most (also an act of bride-ship worthy of prophecy, note) -

then you can with a straight face imagine Indis saying, "I fucked my way into this mess and I'm going to fuck my way out of it."

Feminist critique + consideration of canonical historicity + elaborate headcanon web = sex joke! Now that's good fandom!

[mhaynoot]

underrated joongdok moment but i just find it hilarious that kim dokja's narration is always describing yjh as having an "emotionless face" or some variation on angry but whenver it shifts to anyone else its always yjh being the most tsun guy possible when kdj does anything

[foxglovetawny]

My BSD kins and why I kin them:

I don't actually have a lot but I wanted to make this list regardless

Dazai

I kin Dazai mostly because I'm a compulsive, pathological liar. When faced with a conflict, my first instinct is to lie. Regardless of who I'm lying to(myself, my family, my friends, etc). This habit has made me very good at lying. So much so that I have a tendency to manipulate and be dishonest to my friends and family in order to avoid them posessing negative views towards me. I don't like lying and I try not to, but I simply do not understand why it's bad.

On a deeper level, I kin Dazai because I'm constantly seeking for a reason to live. Everyday I wake up without motivation to do anything, and I go to sleep with dread that I will wake up the next day. Life is just an ongoing loop of meaningless events. I feel as though I have a gaping hole in my chest, and I constantly try to fill that hole with my lies. I make jokes about wanting to die and act childish around my friends as a coping mechanism. I constantly tell myself, "My friends and family really do care about me," but it simply does not work. I feel only capable of feeling empathy(not sympathy), because I can't understand other people's pain until I go through it myself. This results in my lack of understanding of why most morals are the way they are.

Chuuya

I kin Chuuya mostly because I'm short. I constantly get made fun of for my height and weight. I am forced to turn to violence on a weekly basis, simply because no one takes me seriously. I fear the appearance of weakness, so I either compress my emotions or express them in a form of anger. I have not cried in a year due to this. I talk about the people I care about a lot, but in a way that doesn't express my regard for them. Sometimes I'll call them when I'm not in my right mind, just to call them slurs(dont worry I can say them). They find this entertaining. I would sacrifice my reputation and risk everything to avenge my friends, even if it may not be possible at the moment.

Ranpo

Ranpo lower on the list because I don't kin him that much. Though I am not that intelligent, my intelligence is like Ranpo's. Instead of creating plans to reach my goals like Dazai and Fyodor does, I'm more able to notice patterns in behavior. This allows me to deduce certain things about people, including their insecurities, occupation, and type of intelligence. I used to be able to figure out people's class schedules back in high school using small clues I picked up in their dialogue.

Unfortunately, I still don't understand people. I constantly struggle to fit in and I don't know why. It feels like everyone gets each other while I'm just the outlier. I ache to be like everyone else, but I have accepted that such a thing is unachievable.

Nikolai

I kin Nikolai because I feel trapped. I feel like my emotions are limiting me. Being an HSP, I am more empathetic than normal. Actions that remind me of my own past experiences deeply effect me, and I want to be free from them. I don't want to feel emotional attachment, but I can't help it. Like Dazai, I constantly mask my emotions and appear to be childish and immature. I am a sadist, but I can't tell whether I actually feel pleasure in seeing other people's pain, or if it is just another lie I have convinced myself of to make myself feel more free.

------

Side note: I've only read and watched bsd once so some of these might be wrong, please cut me some slack lmao.

[rowan-apollo]

love good omens metaphors, i feel like aziraphale and crowley can be applied to a queer couple so easily.

aziraphale being like a recently discovered queer person who wants to force his partner (crowley) back into the closet around his unaccepting family because he doesnt want that rejection from them.

"come with me, we can be together."

"ive discovered myself already, become who i really am and I'm not going to abandon that even if it means being with you."

crowley always leaves him first, because he doesn't want to face the fact that Aziraphale will choose Heaven over him.

and Aziraphale is still sucked into needing the praise of Heaven / his family. Crowley's already let it go, because Hell didnt even pretend to like him. Aziraphale is stuck trying to change them, he still wants them to love him (they never really loved him, truely), not knowing he isn't going to be able to.

inspired by a post by @seb-the-nerd about how going back to Heaven is a metaphor for going back in the closet

[jdsgothwife]

so y'all were very nice about this post i made earlier where i asked if you'd be interested in some more jd analysis from me! so jason "j.d." dean is a traumatized eighteen year old boy who's been abused all his life by his father who bullies people and blows things up for a living. jd lost the only adult in his life who loved and cared about him, his mother, at a young age after his father drove her to suicide, and she died right in front of jd, who was only a child at the time. jd desperately wants someone to love him. then, he's moved to westerburg (his dad also moves him around, so it's hard for him to make connections,) and he meets and falls in love with veronica sawyer. personally, i think that he pretty much immediately sees that veronica is really unhappy being dragged around by the heathers, and that she wants an escape.

so he makes himself into her ideal james dean esque bad boy who she'll fall for. he tries to be brave, he snarls and smokes and rides around on a motorcycle his dad gave him, probably copying "bad boys" he's seen in movies. and it works, and veronica is finally able to have courage to stand up to heather at the party. when thinking about this, i always think of how he tells veronica that her real feelings were "too gross and icky for her to face."

jd just loves her so much, and he feels like he can't just be himself, the scared traumatized boy, around her, because she's veronica and that won't be good enough for her. and, of course, his dad is a horrible role model, and jd doesn't know anything else, and he ends up going way too far with it. he seems genuinely confused when veronica is horrified by how far he goes, because he thought that was what she wanted from him.

at the very end, jd even seems proud that his beloved veronica has beaten him, or this fake version of him he's created. he loves her, and he's proud of her.

okay, that's all! i'm just a girl who analyzes characters a bit too much sometimes!

@ltr-png @velvetvexations @yourundiscoveredgyrl

[fernflowerss]

Do you see my vision? Please tell me you see my vision