#no bc fr this is how they would respond to the shit I say abt them

[honeyedlashton]

OMG FINALLY!!! MY WELL DESERVED LASHTON NOTICES!! 🤗

[munamania]

this shoot was just so fucking bullshit i dont like being around those guys and it honestly just pissed me off to see all the equipment these people are working with... like oh right well it's awesome that u spent so much money for your little group to make appealing cool films and ur so weird about anybody else using it since it's Technically a club's but let's be fr.. and i was asked to run around up and down floors etc and this one kid was apparently being bitchy abt having to bc men can never not have a tantrum and like i had to go early with the director and dp and like was i on top of my game fucking look at my life NO but i was fine this crew was pretty fucking terrible at delegating and communicating and i feel like i almost retreated into that headspace of oh god this whole thing is going to shit and it's my fault bc things arent organized and theyre running late and that is a large part of my job but its like the first day and again im not even THERE for fucking half of it bc it's a student set and im being asked to run around. oh right early on everyone keeps saying yep we're getting ready and i ask if they need help w equipment and they say no and so im like fucking cool sitting there waiting for our call and steve is like Abby how are we on time and the room falls silent and i was like oh my fucking god. im being dramatic like it's whatever but dont micromanage me yk and then they were pretty nice but then partway through the shoot after we'd moved locations and i was getting nothing from the director/we were at a standstill i asked if she wanted me to go stand with our equipment till someone got back and she said yes so i did and was on my phone yes and steve came up to me like so i'd love it if you could stay with [director] more bc she's struggling with staying on time and i just think having someone to help her with that would be good and well. that's your job. basically. ohhhhh bitch i almost got mean... i responded with like yeah well this is what i was asked to do rn and im checking in with her but will for sure do that more. absolutely not getting any kind of vibe from anyone on this set though so. like dont sit here and tell me im not doing enough of my job... anyway i feel like no one knew what to do with me and i tried to be friendlyish and helpful etc and ik it was not my best day but jfc

[nyxi-pixie]

BUCKLE UP BASTARDS THE CLOWN CAR IS IN GO MODE

ok i KNOW im reaching here dont tell me but

is it too out of line to say that will looking to mike for how to deal w snowball girl lowkey parallels mike looking to will for how to deal with el😭😭😭

like (sorry in advance for shit gifs i made them in like 5 mins flat okay)

oh dear a crisis! how should we respond to this woman???? we dont know😟😟

ah a masterplan has formed i shall take advice from my best bropal!!

that worked so well i will now follow said advice only bc they gave it to me while they look sadly on bc theyve just fucked over their own chances in the name of doing what they think is best for me (and/or others)😁😁😁

and obviously these scenarios vary A FUCK TON in how serious they are. like obviously els like straight up passing away so thats yk a lil more high stakes. but like reaction wise???

thats. they. they just naturally respond to each others 'wtf do i do' moments by reassuring each other. which is so🥰 i love them theyre so attuned to each other

BUT ALSO they react by encouraging each other to pursue straight relationships. bc when it comes to their feelings for each other theyre both fucking stupid but also very self sacrificial. obviously we see this more with will. bc like. ofc we do that boy fr hates himself like

this man is fully ready to throw out every chance possible w mike to keep the milkvan on the road. (hes literally their mechanic. like without him it wld have fully exploded and all the mouldy milk wouldve just gone all over the road and probably really screwed up the local ecosystem. ok the van analogy is going too far im so sorry back on topic.) and i think this Is definitely motivated by a care for mike and a genuine want for him to be happy (no matter who he finds that happiness with) But i think its also important to realise that mike isnt the only one with internalised homophobia.

wills insistence on mike loving el despite the fact that mike has implied otherwise to wills face several times kinda shows that wills mindset on this is partially based in the whole "he Needs to stay in his safe straight relationship bc otherwise i would have a chance (in that mike wouldnt be restrained by having a gf and thus wld be able to date other people) and that would just be so terrible and awful"

and we literally see him do this. mike is going to this man basically being like 'omg our relationship is so broken i dont think we can come back from this fight Will!! u Definitely shldnt tell me to break up w her or anything that would be so crazyyy😁😁(PLS TELL ME TO BREAK UP W HER PLS I DONT LOVE HER)' and wills just like "🙃😁yeah um u can tell her u love her when we see her again😁😁😥😥😥😥😥😥"

like i know we joke abt will being the reason melvin are together. but. he literally is. bc mike honestly seems (n maybe this is just my insane delulu interpretation) like he wants to break up w her and was looking for support on that decision from will. and els on her slay arc which is why she doesnt give a singular shit abt mikes cringe monologue. will fr the only one invested in microdickvan because hes Intentionally Sabotaging his chances w mike.

which brings me to the actual fucking parallel bc MIKE DOES THE SAME FUCKING THING AT THE SNOWBALL. he pushes will into accepting a dance w a girl bc then he doesnt have to keep thinking abt how He wants to dance w will. (and we know he does bc he and dustin are sat there with Identical 'my crush is dancing w someone else😥' faces. so like. rip to mike but his very intelligent foolproof plan of not thinking abt dancing w will absolutely flopped)

anyway both of them have the exact same 'if i push bestie into relationships w women then i will magically resolve my gay feelings and not have to confront them' mindset. i think people forget that will Does sabotage himself a lot just bc we always talk abt mikes internalised issues. like will canonically thinks of himself as a mistake and thinks he deserves to get treated like shit🙃🙃🙃

anyway this kind of makes the whole shit writing point of making will the 'sad gay boy pushing for the love of his life to have a happy straight relationship' make sense in a way that isnt totally awful. the diffused shitbags could never.

[animatedrapture]

I HAVE GASOLINE LAYING AROUND IN MY HOUSE AND IM OMW TO SET KANA ON FIRE :))))

ok im about to compile possibly like 10 chapters worth of kana hate KJHLDSDJS

so. sorry i wasnt able to respond to so manyyyyyy of these on time and all, i get overwhelmed super easily but i truly, truly love all of you and appreciate each msg :DD these have all either made me think real hard LMFOAHJSKD or had me laughing so hard and gasping lmfao. but yeah, i appreciate all of these and everything i mightve never gotten bc tumblr asks is dumb as well as the ones ive still yet to come back to or answer. almost each and every single one of these have been a guidance with what i wanted to do with the smau, whenever i wanted to switch something up or make something better in the smau, your msgs helped a lot in improving it in some way and helping me figure out what i truly wanted to do with the smau and for that, thank u!!!

Anonymous asked:

FUCK KANA ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER HANA SPILLED HER DRINK ON HER? SHE DID THE RIGHT THING ALSO FUCK SUNA BC EVEN UF HE HAD SEX WITH YN AND SAID HE ADORES HER HIS ACTIONS/AFFECTION TOWARDS KANA GIVES MIXED SIGNALS AND ITS TIME HE GET ACCOUNTABLE OF SAID ACTIONS sorry for the rant 🥴

Anonymous asked:

the “tw kana” absolutely sent me into orbit i cackled 😭

Anonymous asked:

anons bonding over kana hate🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻

Anonymous asked:

yeah its only you who doesn't dislike her FGHDJGKUJ IM KIDDING no but really more than hate her its hate the way shes in between like it pisses me off the cockblock she is 😭😭

Anonymous asked:

if i were kana,,,i would either tell him i still have feelings OR hurt in silence (step back) since technically he or should i say they decided to be JUST bestfriends not cockblocking the possibility for him to be in a relationship

Anonymous asked:

kana has to make a choice: she confess or shut the fuck up bc as far as we know they decided to be just bff (highkey think suna was more into being just friends and kana kinda lied) so IF he likes someone else why the fuck try to sabotage him (his happiness with someone else) when he find it out then what? would he still keep her as a friend? 🧐

Anonymous asked:

What if I just...shift or whatever you guys call it, into As Friends universe...and bonk Kana on the head...lol just kidding...ah ha ha ha No please she is starting to sound like the girl best friend that would make couples break up because she does not care about boundaries...honey, you're the best friend, yes, you're important, but that's his girlfriend...stay in your lane. Lol like "I don't want to confess" but "He's mine so I have to get rid of all competitions" lol fucking clown yeah no, I don't have to wait for you to write more about her to make me hate her sksksksksk I already do

Anonymous asked:

Ayo istg kana's been giving y/n the stinky eye... if she stares at y/n like that one more time LAWD HELP HER SOUL, im coming for her eyes!!! But fr,, Rin better treat y/n right and put kana in her place. Bc y/n got a best friend too (samu) u^u and he can cook and would treat her good.

Anonymous asked: likE I KEEP SAYING eAT SHIT KANA

Anonymous asked: I am CRAVING IMMENSE VIOLENCE bring that girl kana here lemme knock her teeth down her throat. >:(

Anonymous asked:

kana (derogatory)

Anonymous asked:

istg if a bus doesn’t hit kana i’m gonna do it

Anonymous asked:

kana toxic best friend it’s time for suna to realise IT 😤😤

Anonymous asked:

kana has family problems only rin knows about? what in the ao haru ride manga 😐

Anonymous asked:

WHY KANA FUKC

Anonymous asked:

NAH MY GUT FEELING TELLING ME KANA WAS BAD NEWS SINCE THE BEGINNING also she wants suna all to herself (he sees her as a bff) but doesn’t say shit to him... if course he’s gonna find someone in the future whether in college or after (unless the bitch will still to his ass even when he goes pro)

Anonymous asked:

everyday i wake up with notifs from u i feel like im about to get subjected to pain and IM RIGHT THIS TIME TOO what the hell kana u will never be yn (me) 🙏🏼🧇

Anonymous asked:

bro part of me wants to punch suna so bad bc like hes so awkward but so smooth like who tf do u want stop being a smooth ass mf u know these two bitches like u

Anonymous asked: i might just obliterate everyone named kana cause of as friends THE WHOLE TIME MY EYE WAS TWITCHING CAUSE OF HER FUCK KDDSKDLSDK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO OBLITERATE HER SAY "I" but like hi! i hope youre well

Anonymous asked:

even tho u always insist you'd never het mad at me girl HUHH i used to be genuinely good w kana now she's just a manipulative bitch :// kana babe sorry but ur best friend is allowed to spend time with other people 🙄

xmyshya asked:

I 👏 love 👏 Hana 👏 Also 👏 fuck 👏 Kana 👏 and Rin you idiot, what do you mean he's not gonna pursue dating T_T it's just a few chapters till the end T_T wut T_T

yourstarvic asked:

Kana needs to back up before she gets beat up 😤 me and my homies ain’t playing no more 😤

Anonymous asked:

omg that ur probably mad (even tho u said u’d never get mad at me!) broooo

Anonymous asked:

kana gonna get even more territorial in the next chapters im getting kinda scared to see how rin reacts 😒 shes gonna lowkey (highkey) manipulate rin like oh u said youll never leave me you said i come first and all that mhmmm girl dont make me break your neck 👎🏼👎🏼

Anonymous asked:

huh so is kana basically a pick me girl

Anonymous asked:

“you’d be selfish abt this” girl

Anonymous asked:

why tf kana gotta ask yn bro u don't know her just ask suna directly 🙄 putting her in an awkward ass position how's she supposed to say no i'm sorry kana's being annoying as hell rn

Anonymous asked:

it’s time for kana to realise: - yn aint just a fling bc suna is spending more time with her - suna clearly sees her just as his bff

Anonymous asked:

Kana saying "I was worried you'd be selfish about this haha" well bitch now I gotta be 😒

Anonymous asked:

“i was worried you’d be selfish about this hahaha” -the one who’s for the streets kana better watch herself…y/n was being kind, i will not be

Anonymous asked:

DID KANA REALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK US?????? TO POSTPONE OUR PLANS WITH RIN???? pls that « you understand, right? » was just so manipulative oh my god-

Anonymous asked:

kana can go cry & write to her diary about it 😘😘

Anonymous asked:

“y/n right?” after literally meeting her plssss

Anonymous asked:

miss kana is just gonna have to miss him a little more bc i'm not canceling SHIT!!

Anonymous asked:

kana is playing chess while we’re playing checkers

Anonymous asked:

everytime you post and kana gets fucked over my day is made and it all I'm going to think about

Anonymous asked:

im catching up on as friends bc i havent read a few chapters and kana saying “arent you just with yn” made me extra angry go trip down some stairs kana

Anonymous asked:

u made my week with the update 😭🖤 i hate kana sfm lol

Anonymous asked:

kana suffering either way the story goes? I'm in -🦄

Anonymous asked:

kana n suna need to grow up lowkey it’s very highschool

Anonymous asked:

WHOEVER SENT THIS I AM CHOOSING VIOLENCE who's in, let's go beat kana-🦄

Anonymous asked:

hELL YEAAHH GET FUCKED KANA /neg

[geffenrecords]

tell me abt david and matteo gimme the gays por favor

   KYRS I OWE U MY ENTIRE LIKE THANK U.........ily 🥰

um yes okay anyway so matteo and david.....ah yes those guys....um yeah so last night i was thinking abt them doing dumb shit together bc you KNOW they do. dumbass gay ppl smh. but anyway theyre in loveeee and they adore each other and hang out all the time bc theyre also best friends!!! they love spending time together and doing just. bro things ig?? they go to places together all the time like it doesnt even have to be somewhere special....matteo could be like ‘hewwo boyfwiend....would u like to go to the grocery store with me’ and davids like ‘.......yeah..’ and they go to the grocery store together and do dumb shit and probably almost get kicked out bc the workers r homophobic....but also theyre just annoying......like fr.......like matteo thinks hes comedy central and will do dumb shit like climb shelves and or he’ll be like ‘babe do u dare me to scream’ and david has to cover his mouth and say NO bc he knows matteo will do it and then matteo licks his hand and now davids the one screaming 

or matteo will try to bottle flip shit.....fucking idiot get w the times 🙄 anyway u know tht one post thats like ‘why did i just witness my 15yo brother try to bottle flip a milk jug’ and someones like ‘how did it go’ and op responds with a picture of their brother lying on the floor in a puddle of milk? thts them. david send a text to jonas like ‘is matteo always like this’ and jonas is like ‘yes but specifically wdym’ and david sends him tht photo and jonas loses his shit

but um yea anyway another thing they probably do is go to school playground together if tht doesnt sound too weird......like theyll go to a school playground at like 4am and fuck around there bc david already has the edgy aesthetic instagram he probably take pictures of creepy things and then draws like. mothman over it or whtever.....gay ppl...........but anyway theyll sit on the swings together holding hands and r probably getting high while doing so and they just kinda sit in silence but eventually david will start talking about smthn and matteo just watches him so intently and softly and has the gentlest gaze as david rambles on abt fucking power rangers or whatever and then matteos like o yeah this is my boyfriend and kisses him and davids like ‘dude wtf thats gay i dont kiss gay people 🤨’ and matteo shoves him and calls him a dick and david probably fall off the swing but is laughing the whole time and matteo giggles as david lays on the ground and watches him and then matteos like ‘lets do smthn rlly gay’ and davids like we r NOT fucking on the playground and matteo makes a face and is like ‘NO mr horny....’ and then he walks over to the blacktop and david sits up and walks over as matteo plays some stupud fucking.....weeknd song or some shit and hes like ‘cmere dance with me’ and david laughs and theyre probably just stoned out of their minds and matteo starts dancing and keeps beckoning david over and finally david gives in nd walks over and they ATTEMPT to slow dance together but like i said. they are high as shit rn and also its COLD. mfs doing shit at 5am in the middle of january with their 45766 layers and stupid scarves.....u know how it is. and yeah they suck but david is laughing the whole time and matteos just watching him w so much love and he pulls him closer and puts his arms on davids shoulder and is like ‘I LOVE YOUUU........’ and david calls him gay and kisses him and then they kiss a bunch until matteo is like ‘okay im freezing my ass off lets go home’ and davids like ‘ugh fine 🙄’ and then they go back to matteos and watch some stupid movie and fall asleep under like fifty blankets and theyre so close together and probably have a death grip on each other liks okay sir neither of u are gonna float away while sleeping......but um yeah anyway theyre in love :-)

[domjaehyun]

you’re quick to the point and precise…….what’s that mercury placement looking like? 🤔

PLS I WAS WONDERING IF SOMEONE WOULD CLOCK THAT i’m an aries mercury 💖 if you take too long to get to the point i get deeply annoyed 💖 i frequently tell people to hurry up with my hands and face when they take too long speaking to me (people i KNOW, not strangers) 💖 if someone is taking too long i will also attempt to complete their sentences to get to the point faster 💖 small talk fills me with rage and i usually just stare blankly and give dismissive answers 💖 when people text me saying “hey” or “can i ask you something” i don’t respond until they get to the point and say what they want 💖

i tell my mom on many occasions “youre saying too many words!!! you’re repeating yourself!!!” or i’ll just say point blank in a dead flat tone “that’s not what i asked you.” OR “i asked you a yes or no question; your response only needs to be ONE Word Long” 😭😭😭 i am a menace tbh

also when people respond to smth i said and they just . repeated me essentially i go “yes…like i literally just said.” and the snarky level will vary depending on how annoyed i am 😭😭😭

(this is a lil hypocritical of me bc i can be very wordy as we are seeing now djfjsjd)

but no fr like there is something SO satisfying abt talking to someone and they immediately just tell me what they want or like . if i ask them a question they Just Answer It i love that shit 😭😭😭 that’s part of the reason i love working w kids bc like . if i go “whats wrong” they’re like “my tummy hurts” and then BOOM we know the problem let’s fix it !! i think sometimes that my desire to say things directly doesn’t always come across personally bc i’m always trying to be careful and not hurt ppl’s feelings 😭😭😭 so if you’re pissing me off and i want to say smth im gonna try to say it as nicely as possible which might need more words yknow?

okay last one but . i am also that person that like . if i get asked “hey how are you?” by ppl in passing, i’m just gonna say “im good thanks!” and i’m prob not gonna ask how they’re doing bc honestly? i don’t care 😭😭 i don’t have time to talk i’m Going Somewhere !! also when ppl say hi to me in public i don’t even break stride i just say hi and keep going and if i get the hint that they might stop i’ll immediately be like “hey good to see you!” and will walk past even faster 💖

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[gloxinian]

ik i talked to him abt wanting to still be friends but, after thinking a lot, i’m really not comfortable still talking to somebody that was that toxic to me fr so long.  and ik posting this might not be the “classiest” thing to do but i feel like i have to get it off my chest bc otherwise a part of me is pushing to say “it wasn’t that bad” or to excuse it bc “well he apologized and said he wouldn’t do it again” even tho he kept doing these things and showed literally no signs of changing.  and i’m so tired of entering these conversations and having it lead to no change or be twisted to be about pitying him.  this isn’t really a callout or anything so i’m leaving his name out and there aren’t receipts or anything.  it might sound trivial bc i’m starting with the small stuff and working forward but idk.  i’m just tired and felt like i needed to write smth out.

im not sure the best way to word this, but i never felt like i could enjoy things or have things just fr myself.  the only way i could talk abt things was if i was criticizing them or it was smth he loved.  these are just a few things and alone each of them would just be annoying, but it all just compounded into making me feel miserable like i wasn’t allowed to love anything.

when i showed him a series that was very important to me, the first the he did was insult the art style, characters, story, etc.

when i started getting excited about pokemon swsh and the new pokemon, he immediately started mocking my favorite ones and sending me posts/articles talking abt how the game was going to be garbage, even after i asked him to stop.

when i got my first noise cancelling headphones and was excited abt how well they worked, he immediately told me that it was a good thing they were noise cancelling so i wouldn’t be able to hear him crying.

constantly glancing over my shoulder and making fun of what he saw me playing or enjoying.  new game he doesn’t play?  looks stupid/cheap/boring.  not doing great?  makes fun of me for doing poor even after i repeatedly tell him to stop.

and whenever he said something particularly upsetting like that headphones thing, he would immediately say “oh it’s an intrusive thought” or “oh it was just a joke” when i got upset and confronted him about it.  and he’d immediately turn around and make the situation about him and how i should be pitying him.

the worst examples of this come from over a year ago when i was still in college.  my depression was hitting me really hard bc i was back living at home instead of dorms, i was struggling really hard with classes, and had teachers that mocked me whenever i tried to ask questions.  i was actively suicidal during this time and had repeatedly expressed worries to friends and family that i wouldn’t be able to support myself in the future, that i was a failure, and i felt like my only option was to drop out so i would have at least some control in my life.  this was the lowest point i’d ever been.  i’m going to list a few things that happened from smallest to worst and it’s important they all happened during this time.  and he was aware this is how i was during this time.

he was friends with somebody that actively hated me.  fine, not that big of a deal bc friends don’t always get along with boyfriends.  but how this was handled was absolutely horrid.  this friend insulted me whenever i spoke, even told me i shouldn’t talk period.  he kept being friends with them and insisting we hang out more.  that friendship only ended after (1) they accused me of being a pedophile bc i felt physically sick hearing ppl talk abt loli/shota stuff.  and i was the only one who called this out for being so.  fucked up.  to call someone that for being distressed by even seeing cp terms.  he only said he’d talk to said friend after i was incredibly/vocally upset abt this. 

one night depression almost got the best of me and i stopped responding to any calls/texts/etc.  said friend got annoyed he was scared i might actually be dead.  this was the event that actually ended that friendship and honestly i’m mostly upset it took that friend literally not caring if i was dead for my boyfriend to actually give a shit how i was being treated.

he fucking.  cheated on me.  and told me how he was planning on moving in with the person he was cheating on me with “in case things didn’t work out with me”.  he knew i was suicidal over being uncertain about my future and did this, even telling me he was cheating on me BECAUSE of me being suicidal and uncertain.

the worst thing for me is that ofc he managed to make this about him.  maybe it doesn’t make sense for it to feel worse, but it does to me for some reason.  last time we even spoke about him cheating on me, he went on and on about how he hurt he was bc he felt used by the person he cheated on me with.  bc that person stopped talking to him after he told them he didn’t want to do sexual stuff anymore. 

things didn’t really get “better” or anything once i graduated.  if anything, they just got more stressful.  i was still stressed at whether i’d be able to support myself, but a bit more stable now that i had a job and a degree.  my ex moved in with the promise that he would be working to get a job so that he could support himself, grow confidence, and keep things equal.  i don’t.  have the energy to detail everything and don’t know if it’s right.  but the short of it is that i constantly had to nag him to even send out applications and he didn’t even want to go to interviews.  things got really stressful between us and it eventually came out (after i told him the relationship was unhealthy and unbalanced, that i had no desire to support him entirely as this was a source of extreme stress and a lot to ask of someone new to the work force, etc) that he expected me to fully support him financially and that was what he wanted.

he wanted me to fully support him financially, to take responsibility for improving his entire emotional maturity and recovery without taking any initiative, and to fully care for him once i got home from a full day of work (as i’ve been doing).  there was never a “what can i do for you?” or any signs/desire for positive change.  it was only “what are you going to do for me?”.  the relationship was incredibly unhealthy, unblanced, and it was clear that i wasn’t a partner but a surrogate caretaker.  and when i broke up with him, he accused me of breaking my promise to support him.

and i just.  i’m tired.  the whole relationship felt manipulative and unhealthy, looking back.  i don’t know.  maybe i’m wrong.  but i just don’t feel comfortable continuing to speak to somebody who repeatedly put me down, treated me like an expendable resource, and targeted the thing they knew i was most vulnerable about (my own independence and being able to support myself) when he knew that had made me suicidal in the past.

i know we have some shared friends and he’s probably going to paint me like some villain to you guys.  he already compared me to his previous abuser multiple times.  i don’t want to start some stupid “war” or drama or whatever and won’t push back or argue or anything because i have a ton on my plate both health and financially right now.  i don’t have the energy for stupid drama.  maybe i included more details than i should have, but i also left out a lot of details because i’m not really sure how much is appropriate here since this isn’t a callout or whatever.  there aren’t “receipts” since many of these things were personal interactions and i’m not looking to prove anything or make a callout.  you don’t have to believe me or read this or idk.

i just wanted to get this all off my chest.

[lunebinnie]

(1/14)I am so sorry for taking so long! (I also had to spend a lot of time studying this week bc I had my first exam for my Anatomy Lab on Wednesday... And then we had our first exam for *Lecture* Thursday (which also was the day I had a bunch of powerpoints due for my very intimidating adviser...) and then I had to substitute teach all day Friday (and then I meant to respond sooner but I got so busy 😭) so yeah I completely understand about school getting in the way no worries abt it!)

And also sleeping in on a day off when you’ve been busy studying lately is completely valid hon 👌 I hope that your midterms go well and that you’re able to stay healthy and take care of yourself in the midst of preparing! (not that you wouldn’t, I just have a bad habit of neglecting things like healthy sleeping and eating habits when I get caught up studying, so hopefully you’re not like me in that way) And yeah me too! I mean on the one hand I understand *why* they have that limit

3)If u could just send as many as u want there would be so much more spam and ppl would definitely abuse that. But also?? Um? I have a chronic condition called ‘Can'tShuttheFuckUp-itis’? 🤷 This policy is so discriminatory towards people like me who suffer from this crippling condition! I feel oppressed honestly 🙄 tumblr rlly has something against ppl just trying to get to know each other huh? Lol, but at least now we know why it eats them I’ll be sure to try to prevent that in the future

4)And oh my gosh that’s so cool! I’m super jealous!! 😮 lol. I wish they hosted kpop nights at my local bar! 😭😭 But no, I’m here at my little state college in a little 2 mi2 town just under pop 5500 (and idek if that’s before or after counting college students) in the middle of the 'farm zone’ of my state. All we get is country night @Riley’s 😩 RIP. But ya I wish I had more ppl around me who were into kpop! So far I’ve only met 3 ppl who listen to it. One was that roommate I told you about

5)One is just a casual listener who isn’t really into 3rd gen groups and mostly just listens to Girl’s Generation but that’s valid, and one isn’t even rlly a fan of any groups in particular, she just puts the kpop station on when she studies bc she says she needs music but if it’s in English she gets distracted, lol And omg that is insane! $500?? And 5 copies of the same album? 😲 (Says the girl who’s been a Monbebe for a hot 2 months and has already bought three (3??) Monsta X T-shirts… 😂

6)in my defense tho one of them was only $10 bc it was Black Friday? And u can’t blame me, Hot Topic is my krypotonite lmao) but yeah I already feel guilty about spending 30+ dollars on one copy of an album (thx international shipping) That’s so wild. And yeah I don’t get why ppl feel the need go out of their way just to insult other ppl’s music taste. I’m also pretty self conscious abt sharing my music taste and obviously the way everyone around me talks abt kpop has made me even moreso now 🙃

7) I haven’t gotten into too many groups yet bc I’m trying to go slowly and focus on getting into one group at a time but I do have a long list of groups I plan on getting into eventually! NU'EST is one that I’ve heard some of their songs on my Spotify based on my listening history and they’re on the list haha 😂 And omg I feel really similarly about Got7! I tried to get into them after I got into Monsta X and right before I got into Astro and although I did really like some of their songs

8)I haven’t really been able to get into their music as much as MX and Astro’s yet. I do think they seem like a really fun group in terms of personality though. As for the comeback I know right?? I mean I know a lot of ppl were freaking out abt the comeback being a 'sexy’ and how it wasn’t gonna be the same cute Astro we all love anymore. But they filled the MV with flowers and glitter and still managed to make it sexy as fuck! This album has a very different vibe but it still felt like them

9) They managed to pull off a more mature and sexy concept while still staying true to themselves and I’m so here for it! I don’t know if I could really pick a favorite era because I love them all! I mean Spring Up was an excellent era and every era since then has been great. They really don’t know how to have any bad concepts or make any bad songs huh? Lol. Since I’m still pretty new I really love the title tracks since I’ve heard them the most. (I have listened to their full discography

10)But I haven’t listened to their Bsides enough to pick out my favorites from those) I also really love Again though! The first time I saw the dance practice I was super into it and then I looked up the lyrics and was like 'this is supposed to be sad/regretful song it has no reason to be this much of a BOP?!’ 😂 I have such a hard time picking favorites though. Since All Light is new though I actually have listened to it enough times to pick some 'non-title song favorites’ from there haha

11) Other than All Night (which is great, obvi) I also really like Starry Sky, Moonwalk and Role Play 😂 and Bloom is so pretty oh my god! 😭😭 the album is great and has no bad songs but those are the ones I particularly like. I feel u about the dances honestly. I think that’s actually what drew me to kpop initially. I mean I like listening to the songs ofc but it wasn’t until after I actually watched an MV/saw the choreography that I actually was like… Oh shit I’m gonna have to be a fan now

12) It was the visual aspect that really made me want to be a kpop fan bc I haven’t really seen that level of performance with any western music. Which isn’t to say I think all western music is bad but I think it’s really impressive to watch kpop groups singing and also doing really impressive choreography and performing at the same time. Plus that’s the part I can show my family and say 'even if you don’t like the music because of the language barrier you have to admit they’re talented dancers’

13)And yes! With Astro especially I think the dance practices rlly succinctly capture the reason why I love them so much. They are *super* talented but they also have such great chemistry and u can rlly tell that they just love each other and have so much fun together! I love a family of six hardworking dorks! 🤧💗 lol. And yeah it’s too bad that neither of are able to see them this cb ☹️ (I also did the 'hypothetically…’ research but it wouldn’t have worked out 😒) I hope you’re right though!

14)Hopefully the success of this comeback is the catalyst to Astro getting more of the attention they deserve and there will be many more opportunities to see them in the future! (Although it is too bad we won’t be able to see live performances from this cb, since it’s so pretty 😭 tho with their track record I’m sure future cb’s will be just as good lol) But what about you? Do you have any favorite songs from this cb in particular? Talk again soon! (I’ll try 2 b better @ responding 😭) -AHA

FUCKKK okay so after like a million years of midterms + 2 days straight of sleeping ya girl is BACK to answer these asks after getting through the hurdle of copying and pasting and italicizing 14 asks onto one response on my phone. Did I perhaps fail at least 3 of my midterms? Quite probably. Do I have the energy to care atm? No. Did I need to get away from everything and fly to Boston to visit my friend for reading week? Yes.

How did all your exams go? That sounds crazy though! I hope you got through everything ok!

Tbh I have the same unhealthy habits too, I essentially became nocturnal and lived on like one meal a day + snacks and coffee 😭 fr, I would be writing my midterm from 11:30-1:30, go home to eat, sleep from 4-7pm, then wake up to study all night for the next one, and repeat,,,,, I’m like an actual mess tbh

Honestly as much as I’ve enjoyed the Aroha secret admirer thing (it was sooo nice getting to meet new people) rn I’m just so glad that post-reveal we don’t have to deal with tumblr ask limits and writing entire essay responses all in one go.

Honestly 3 shirts isn’t even THAT bad especially if they weren’t all like ordered from overseas so they wouldn’t have been that expensive. When I went to the Myeongdong underground shopping centre I went craaaazy with Kpop merch despite stanning (at that point, pretty much only) BTS for a whole 3 weeks, so I ended up coming back with 2 albums, a bunch of stickers, a photocard pack (also bonus: got an Astro one too) and like a BUNCH of bt21 stuff. Speaking of, my All Light album finally came in!! I ended up getting a Moonbin, MJ, Jinjin, and Sanha photocard plus the a Rocky lyric booklet and ik I basically got THE best set for someone who loves all of them w my whole heart 😩✊ but I’m still sad I didn’t get any Eunwoo cards since he was my first Astro bias 😭 it’s soooooo pretty I love it sm and like lowkey I’ll probably end up buying more of their albums anyway oopsss

Speaking of Monsta X btw, I heard their new song and I thought it was really good! What did you think of it?

Regarding favourite songs, I swear my moods change so much, so it’s pretty common for me to not love a song at first and sort of rediscover it months later, and tbh that’s kind of what happened with Innocent Love, Baby, and Again. In this album though, I’d say my favourite Bsides are probably be Bloom, 1 in a Million, and Heart Brew Love.

And I toootally agree with the performance aspect of kpop being the thing to attract me it, even before I got really into it I’d sometime like to watch dance practices (and lowkey even learned a bunch of choreos a with my friend last term just bc we had access to a frequently empty dance studio). It’s just super impressive to see people singing and dancing at the same time mostly live, and for the same reasons I’m also super into musicals as well, which isn’t so say I think like lip syncing or just dancing/singing is bad, it’s just refreshing to see it done all at once, you know?

Also side story it turns out that I actually DO know another Astro fan irl!! Her older sister (who I’m closer to bc we’re closer in age) is the one who bought the million got7 albums. Even though she’s been a fan of Astro since before debut, her sister doesn’t even know she listens to kpop since she was afraid of getting roasted at first, but now she’s in too deep to say anything. I’d mentioned liking Astro to her before, but she didn’t say anything bc she didn’t want to expose herself in front of her sister but on Friday I saw her while her sister was out and she was like “oh btw here’s a secret I went to the Toronto fanmeet last year but my sister doesn’t know” I was SHOOK but tbh I’m just super glad now to have someone to talk about it and go to concerts with (I’m banking on the fact that they’re coming back)

Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for waiting 2747287482 million years for my response, and it was so great to finally (officially) meet you Kjersten!

@kaptain-k-pop

[jooheonies]

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

[gukyi]

BROOOO GUYIIIIIIIIIIII... I WAS GNA SEND MY FEEDBACK ON THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THE FIC,, BUT IT KEEPS ON CRASHING ON ME SO I GUESS ILL SAY IT HERE BUT BROOOOOOOOOO WTFFFFFFFFF I CANTTTTTTTTTTT JDFFHJDKDKDBDNDJDKDJVDNDJDJDBDJXKDKDBFHJDDK *takes a deep breath in* okay lemme start now, okay wHAT? this whole story hits DIFFERENT, (and idk if it’s bc half the things written was so goddamn relatable... oop) BUT OMG WAIT IM RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTERS I THINK I HAVE TO SEND MORE ASKS FKHFBFND OKAY WAIT

Cont. ANYWAYS, I’ll start with y/n’s character: BRO I LOVE HER, shes WAY too relatable and damn, everytime she hopelessly pining over Jimin, I’m right here screaming “WHATTA MOOD SIS”. like???? if this isn’t everyone then idk what is. And the way you depict the consequences of confessing to Jimin (how things don’t go back the same) BRUH THATS TOO RELATABLE AS WELL, YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE YOUR CHARACTERS SO RELATABLE AND IT MAKES ME ENJOY EVERY SINGLE STORY YOU WRITE... wait omg bye again

AS I WAS SAYING, I WILL CONSUME EVERY FIC YOU WRITE AND OH GOD IM TURNING INTO A SIMP FOR YOU MDHDBDJS, okay back to the story- the first greenhouse scene 🥺🥺🥺 when I was reading it I didn’t realize tears started flowing and when I felt my face I was like “oh shit did I rlly just cry”. MISS GUYI STOP MAKING ME CRY YOUR A HEARTBREAKER IHY 😡😡 and the ot7 cameo my fave🥺🥺 each character was so well detailed and their friendship with yn🥺🥺 their so supportive it makes me soft like UGH- wait 😭

AND THE DANCING IN THE RAIN PART!!! YOU ARE A GENUIS PLS ALL HAIL GUYI HEHEHEHE, Okay I think I’m getting annoying now but fr!! your so talented and you deserve to know how much your works mean to all of us 🥺 everything abt that fic left me breathless (even rose’s cameo LMAO) and the ending? it’s so bittersweet sighhhh, it indeed was a happy ending like you promised, but that shit hurted and it felt all too real, this is the best two hours I spent on reading a fic 🥺 thank you ily :(

if it were possible for me to tattoo these asks on the inside of my eyelids then i would issy !! i really would !!! honestly reading these just gave me a laugh and absolutely brightened my day hot damn!!!! i don’t even think i have the words to properly respond to this with the same enthusiasm and excitement that you gave to me ;-; i think our emotions really do get the best of us when it comes to reading fics/stories/writing !! like bitch where did the tears come from ?? oh ????? and please you could never be annoying to me djksfhlasd i love you and i’m so glad that you loved into the wilderness !!! i think the saddest part about summer is how it will always come to an end (unless you live in socal LMAO), but that just means we will have to wait until the next one !!!! and cycles like that really are the most meaningful 🥺 thank you so much for all of the love !!! 💜

[codenamearcturus]

cool so bc kai and nya have basically adopted lloyd as a younger brother here's some shitty sibling headcannons based off True Actual bullshit my 2 younger siblings and i do (tag as green/flame and i'll fucking maul you):

the Most Absurd sibling deals fucking. ever. kai asks nya to take out the trash for him and nya brings up when she ran his patrol 3 months ago and when she bought him a sprite so kai ends up taking out the trash and doing the dishes for her

nya steals food from both of them near nonstop and half the time they dont even notice. mfer is stealthy

if u try to steal food from her tho? ur fucked say goodbye to ur hand

all of them r needlessly dramatic abt small injuries (esp lloyd) but nonchalant abt big injuries (SUPER esp lloyd). the rest of the team is gonna kill them

Conflict Escalation

kai: nya fuck off or i’ll kick you in the shins!

nya, dead fucking serious: try it and i’ll kill you

the endless contest to stack things on lloyd while he’s sleeping (usually goldfish) and its twin, stick things in kai’s hood while ur walking behind him

once fr christmas nya gave lloyd a nerf gun and accidentaly started the Great Nerf War on the bounty

lloyd shot everyone non fucking stop til kai snapped and got a nerf gun of his own to combat him

eventually it spread and all six of them got nerf guns. no one was safe. the whole bounty became a war zone for weeks

(finally zane stole and hid all the nerf guns to end it)

dead dad jokes like you would not fucking believe (at least between s4 and s7), which lloyd is so fucking grateful for cause kai and nya basically teach him tht coping w grief is 10% emotional shit and 90% jokes (zane and cole get in on it all the time too cause jays the only one that actually has 2 living parents)

kai listens to. the worst music and nya and lloyd will never let him live it down

lloyd: kai we are not letting you pick the music all you listen to is mumford and sons and that weird punk band

kai: what! no! just this morning i was listening to johnny cash!

nya: kai thats even worse

nya will do anything you dare her to do, no matter how gross. the most famous instant of this is when kai dared lloyd to drink lemon juice and while they were arguing about how much kai would pay lloyd if he did it, nya walked by and fucking downed the whole thing without even making a face. this is when everyone on the bounty realized just how fucking powerful Nya Goddamn Smith is

lloyd is The Baby Sibling and always will be. this is a blessing and a curse

on one hand he can get away with just about anything

on the other hand nya and kai do not give one fuck that he is the green ninja they can boss him around as much as they want and they dont have to do one (1) thing he says cause You’re the Baby, Lloyd

god the fucking. ultimate sibling attack where u karate chop ur sib in the stomach while they’re lying down and it’s instant death? yeah. thats fucking brutal with these three. none of them ever lie down w/ out their arms covering their stomach they know what’ll fucking happen

acting like a pretty tame insult was the saddest thing you ever heard (lloyd does this so much)

kai: lloyd you’re a dumbass

lloyd, sounding heartbroken: what about it??

in the same vein, the classic compliment/insult pair

kai: lloyd, i love you and you are very kind, but youre dumb as rocks

these three would literally kill for each other but also nya started throwing almonds at lloyd when he fell asleep on the couch during lego cake boss and threatened to knock him out herself if he didnt go up to sleep immediately and kai responded by throwing grapes at lloyd from the other side of the room

[dearhummingbird]

3, 12, 14 xx

3. rant. just do it

ok this was a draft from when Bon Appetit was going down the drain and i was extremely annoyed and bothered by how the discussion about it was being held in this all-women Slack group i’m in. it really mostly comprises of extremely rich white mid-20year olds who only used to shop at Reformation and only use Glossier/Golde/Milk Makeup/Kosas products. a lot of it probably wont make sense unless you kept up to date with what went on with BA, but two things that i want to note is that 1) i don’t like the me who calls people crazy and goes ??????? when others share wildly different opinions from me, even when i think those opinions are flat out wrong. it’s language that im trying to change bc i also do it when im even mildly annoyed at people, which is bad. that’s one reason why i didnt initially post this here bc i was abit ashamed. idk if thats right or wrong but ya. 2) i didnt share this earlier bc while i still stand by what i said about Gaby being an immigrant status i was and am afraid of being called out as insensitive or wrong. it would be nice to hear opinions about this, if anyone has any at all. but yes, it is very long and very passionate, please dont mind......

this is with regards to the BA drama and the Slack group i mentioned here awhile ago. the people there are so...????? not only is their cancel culture ugly but their flimsy explanations and lack of care for their words just makes everything that comes out of their mouth performative. there’s a whole thread with 150++ messages about the BA situation and i said i was sorely disappointed with Gaby’s willy nilly response to the initial Sohla uprising. for context, Gaby is Argentinian, is BA’s test kitchen manager as well as the oldest member of the BA universe. she posted a story saying: “Hey guys! I am not one for following what the heck is going on! You know me, I do my own thing! I cook and be happy! 💚🌈 💚🌈 💚🌈” while the BIPOC members of BA were risking their jobs by going public about the systemic racism within Conde Nast. the white members of BA had stood in solidarity(🤔) with the BIPOC members, and Gaby is the only one who chose to bow out of all of it. someone replied saying maybe its bc Gaby’s an immigrant, like their mom, who was afraid to get involved in politics of any sorts because doing so in her time meant death. please tell me if im being insensitive but i think thats a grossly biased biography to impose on someone else, esp w such a clearly tonedeaf “💚🌈💚🌈” response at a time like that. i replied that and said yknow what, maybe thats true, maybe its not, but Gaby couldve read the room and given a much more neutral response even if she didnt care about it. THEN someone else replied saying they agreed with the previous person - “[i think] people are being too harsh on her. She is of a different generation who perhaps doesn’t grasp the role of social media in this movement. How can we expect her to condemn her EIC in the most thoughtful, politically correct way, when English is not her first language and the US is not her first country?” ???????? just saying Gaby doesnt “get it” bc shes old and an immigrant? i thought it was wholly condescending and fired back saying Gaby has mentioned being in the states fr a very long time and she knows how to put up highlights on instagram ffs, shes tech and English savvy. i also said Gaby’s language was very telling and tonedeaf “i do my own thing”. then the person replied saying “oh i didnt mean it like that, her response to me was representative of tbings we’ve heard from our own immigrant families right? “A lot of survival as an immigrant is tied to “I do my own thing” and that is inherently privileged while being a victim of the white supremacist system at the same time” 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 i did not like the “right?” super annoying rally tactic like actually debate w me dude. and if she hadnt meant to say Gaby didnt “get it” maybe she shouldve worded her thoughts far more carefully. also um..? i understand what youre saying but my whole point is Gaby shouldve been more careful with her words. pegging all of this onto her immigrant status, while may be right, seems so¿ what if Gaby didnt give a fuck, just like she shows she doesnt in her words? then what? like? am i crazy?? then i said i‘d rather she had said nth at all if she was gonna hang her members to dry. THEN THE PERSON RESPONDED, “LETS BE REAL [INSERTS BA’S WHITE MEMBERS] ARENT GNA LOSE THEIR JOBS” ????? I was very clearly talking about the BIPOC members...... why would i talk abt the immune white members..... she mustve barely read anything i said!!!

then w regards to the Delaney situation, some of them were like “he was in college when he used the queer slur?? when i was in high school everyone already knew better than to say it” “19???? way too old to be saying shit like that” sure he shouldve known better but age should not be the issue here. + Delaney has been one of the most vocal BA members abt BLM! hes clearly changed as a person, if not is at least one willing to learn frm mistakes! people were hunting him down on twitter, screenshotting shit frm 2012. they called him a coward fr deleting his twitter and tumblr - but whats the point of digging fr more shit to say “yes Delaney was indeed a bigot frat boy” when you already have a handful. i never knew what cancel culture was until this. other things theyve said include “🚫 no more conde nast 🚫 society has moved past the need for conde nast / ugggghhhhhh damn it, it’s my fault for thinking a white man could be unproblematic” howww. Later on Brad said he would quit if they fired Delaney and everyoneeee was like “duh Brad’s an outdoorsy white man 🥴🥴” ??? 1. THATS A DUMB STATEMENT TO MAKE 2. THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS IS ALSO WHITE. what if Brad will quit bc Delaneys a friend????? then what? 85% of the BA team is white, Carla and Molly went to Italy while Chaey wasnt even paid fr the Thanksgiving series, Claire gets something crazy like 20k for every gourmet makes, and Molly was the chummiest member with Rapo, and you’re saying “duh Brad’s an outdoorsy white man”?? get your shit together

ok last one is when in response to my point about how Molly was so friendly w Rapo that she was the only one who‘d snap at Rapo as if he wasnt the scary prissy boss the same girl who said Brad is an outdoorsy white man said “oh i actually saw that as a personal coping mechanism against Rapo’s toxicity!!” i really died