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nunanuggets · 3 years

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Cabin Fever, Pt. 2

A/N: Hoooookayyyy, here it is, FINALLY. I am so sorry it took me over a month to complete part two, I've been struggling a bit and had a major writer’s block on top of it. But hey! It's here now, and softer than ever! Did I expect this to turn out the way it did? No. Am I mad? Absolutely not.

Warnings: Angst, some fighting, alcohol consumption, Crosshair being a jerk as always, hurt/comfort, smut, PiV unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it irl!!!), porn with plot/ porn with feelings, this will get soft y’all. 1 mention of Y/N.

Here’s the link to part 1!!

|| Crosshair x reader

Word count: 5k (oops)

Rating: 18+ ONLY! MINORS BE GONE, RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES.

It was awfully quiet aboard the Havoc Marauder. Usually, everyone would be celebrating or chatting away happily, but not this time. The last mission was tough.

You and Crosshair had been rescued from the Cabin by your squad about 36 hours after you had discovered it and found shelter there.

The boys were all so relieved to see you and Wrecker even gave you a big hug, Hunter regarded You and the sniper suspiciously but didn’t say anything, though he did sniff the air with a slightly disgusted expression.

Everyone had suffered some form of hypothermia or other injuries and were resting up now. Echo was feeling the worst, his body was very sensitive to extreme temperature since they rescued him from the Citadel. After having tended to him and made sure he was comfortably asleep, you allowed yourself to take a break as well.

You were mostly fine, physically at least. You had a heated blanket wrapped around you and leaned against the viewport of the ship, watching the stars streak by.

What happened with Crosshair at the Cabin… you just couldn’t get it out of your head; or your heart. After you slept together, You didn’t speak much. You just held each other and shared some more kisses, providing warmth and comfort.

But, as soon as your squad arrived, that warmth was gone. It felt like someone had abruptly turned off a movie at the best part, kicked the TV screen and threw the disc out of the window.

Crosshair hadn’t even spoken to you since you left.

You knew he was right there, in the Cockpit. You knew you could just go and talk to him. The problem was, you didn’t know what to say or ask.

Maybe you were afraid of being rejected or hurt, maybe it was just that you were incredibly shy when it came to confrontation of things that genuinely bothered you. But you had to prepare yourself for the possibility that what happened between you too would forever stay in that small, abandoned Cabin on Kijimi.

You sighed, giving yourself a stretch. A steaming mug of Tea would help you wind down, you figured.

After getting up from your makeshift bunk and trotting over to the water boiler, you discovered that the Cockpit door was open, and Crosshair was relaxing on the Pilot’s seat with a book. You smiled to yourself when you saw what he was reading; it was one of the books you had purchased on a beautiful Jungle planet after a mission. You didn’t know he had a thing for romance novels.

If the sniper was also wrecking his brain over what happened yesterday, he sure as hell wasn’t showing it. He looked calm, collected and a little generally pissed off, like always.

It couldn’t go on like this, you decided. Avoiding each other wouldn’t get you anywhere. You grabbed your mug and softly knocked at the door frame to the cockpit, causing Crosshair to finally look up.

He didn’t say anything, he just looked at you with an expression that was impossible to read.

“Can I sit?” You asked timidly, pointing to the seat next to his.

He shrugged and nodded, going back to reading the novel. You had to swallow down the small amount of anger bubbling up in your stomach, reminding yourself that that’s just what he was like.

“So… you doing okay?” You asked, playing with the string of the tea bag dangling from your hot beverage.

The sharpshooter nodded and flicked the toothpick between his thin lips from one corner to the other. You once again had to suppress a physical reaction to that.

“That’s good… me too” You started. There was an awkward pause, the tension in the room so thick you could cut it with a dagger. “I was wondering if… uhm… if you’d like to talk?” You finally asked.

Crosshair looked up again, raising a brow. “About what?” he asked, as if it wasn’t completely obvious what you were talking about.

“About… What happened on Kijimi… Between us” You said slowly, your heart thumping in your chest so hard you could hear it ringing in your ears. You were very nervous, and you weren’t even sure what you were gonna say! ‘I think having you fuck my brains out made me realize that you’re not so bad after all and i wanna get caf sometime’ wasn’t gonna cut it.

“We had sex, so what? We’re adults, it happens.” The sniper shrugged and flipped over a page.

You let out an little, though offended, scoff. “Really Crosshair?”

Your opponent looked bothered by your sheer presence. “What’s your problem? You didn’t seriously think that this would be more than a one time thing, did you?” He inquired. You were speechless. Heartbroken, even.

“Listen. We were both alone, there was a lot of tension, we were going stir crazy. It was a way to occupy time and keep warm. Nothing more than fun” He added, spitting out his toothpick and popping a new one in his mouth.

You were still rendered baffled, staring at him with wide, glossy eyes. You felt so dirty and used, like a warm washcloth he used to get his relief that was then tossed away. Like you were nothing.

It didn’t add up to you. He’d kissed you so tenderly. He held you and cared for you, stroked your spine until you fell asleep, played with your hair in awe.

You felt silly and stupid for thinking that your night together meant anything to him. That you meant anything to him.

You opened a closed your mouth a couple of times, wanting to yell, wanting to sob and scream at him, but nothing came out, no matter how hard you tried. It was like your feelings were so much, they clogged your throat and didn’t let any words out.

You took a deep breath. Arguing about this was pointless. If this was how things would be, fine then. You took your mug and poured it over the opened pages of the book, turning them soggy and unreadable. Good thing you’d already finished that book.

He clenched his fists and glared at you, but you really didn’t care. At least, you didn’t want to let him know that you did. Without another word, you left the cockpit, your heart having sunk to the pit of your stomach.

You cried a lot that night. Silently, but a lot. You cursed yourself for letting this instance hurt you so badly, for letting yourself catch feelings for the grumpy sharpshooter.

After a few hours, Hunter woke up from his senses telling him that something wasn’t right. He sought you out and found you curled up on your bunk. “Hey kid, what’s going on?” He asked gently, sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

“N-nothing, i’m okay Hunter” You lied with a sniffle, wiping at your eyes; feeling guilty and embarrassed for waking the sergeant up.

“You’re not a good liar, kiddo. Tell me what’s bugging ya” Hunter gave you a gentle pat to the hand.

You hesitated. This was a very private matter, and the sergeant was Crosshair’s brother, too. But you were so vulnerable and heartbroken right now, you really needed someone to talk to. In the past, Hunter has always offered you a shoulder to cry on and kept your secrets safe.

After a moment, you were ready ro speak. “O-okay… you see, when we were on Kijimi in that Cabin… Well, one thing led to another with Crosshair and then-“ You started, and Hunter raised his hand a little.

“I know, ad’ika. I sensed what happened. Did he hurt you? I swear to the force I'm gonna make him regret it” He immediately promised, clenching his fists.

“N-no no! He didn’t hurt me! Well, not when we… you know” You blushed a little. “But… he did hurt me just now” The confession came out with a sigh.

“What happened?” He pushed ever so gently.

“I don’t know, he’s just being an ass! I wanted to talk to him about what happened and he… didn’t care? At all? About anything. He said that he only did it because essentially, he was bored and i was warm… i… i feel so used and dirty now… from the way he treated me in the cabin… i thought it meant something to him” You whispered the last part, fumbling with the blanket in your lap. “We’re squadmates, how am i gonna work with him from now on?”

“One thing you have to know about Crosshair is that he doesn’t always mean what he says.” Hunter reasoned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders protectively.

“Oh, he sounded pretty honest to me” You scoffed before crossing your arms with a sad sigh.

“He’s very convincing sometimes. Now, I can't look into his mind, kid. I don’t know what’s truly going on and I wasn't there when it happened. But you should try to approach him again, maybe at a different time. If you explain that he hurt you, he will apologize.” the sergeant said.

You considered his words for a moment. You didn’t want to speak to him again, let alone see his stupid face anytime soon. “And where would that get us? That still wouldn’t make him care, Hunter.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, to be honest. But i think he cares more than you realize. Both of you” He said. He gave your knee a pat. “I’m gonna go and rest up. If you need me, i will be in my bunk” He said.

And with that, you were alone again with your thoughts.

A few weeks later, you found yourself wearing a dress a little too short for your liking while seated in the booth of a bar on a mid-rim planet.

The Bad Batch decided it was time that they unwind for a bit after all these stressful missions that just melted together into one big one.

Somehow, Wrecker convinced you to wear that dress you bought a few months back and had always kept on the ship, in case you needed it for an undercover mission or something.

Initially, when you had put it on, you felt very confident, especially after making Tech blush ever so slightly and him complimenting you.

But now you were irritated, the music that was being played wasn’t your taste, Wrecker got more and more annoying with each shot he downed, and then there was that damned sniper, who hadn’t talked to you in weeks and was now giving you subtle yet very strange looks.

You tried to gather the courage to talk to him on multiple occasions, but it was never the right time, or you backed out at the last moment. But now, with two shots of Kashyykian vodka coursing through your veins, you finally had the balls to slam your hand on the table.

This bullshit would end now.

“You, outside, now.” You looked the sniper dead in the eyes and got up, striding towards the entrance of the bar confidently.

For a moment, you thought you just made a fool of yourself, storming out like that and him just remaining cool and collected in his seat. But to your relief, his tall figure appeared in the door a few moments later.

“What do you want” He asked flatly, with a hint of annoyance as he plopped a toothpick into his mouth. They were the peppermint kind, you could smell them from where you stood across from him. You could also smell the cologne on his warm skin, it made you weak in the knees and you had to suppress the urge to press your nose to that special spot behind his ear.

“Sit” You invited him rather coolly, indicating to a nearby bench.

He followed you, sitting down next to you but turned away slightly. He stared off into the night sky, as if you weren’t there. But you could tell from the way he bounced his knee slightly, he was nervous.

“What the fuck are you playing, Crosshair?” You finally asked, causing him to turn his head towards you. “Don’t give me that look,” You continued, “You know what i am talking about. Listen, i… maybe I misinterpreted your actions in that cabin. Maybe I shouldn't have let it happen, and I definitely shouldn’t have caught feelings for you,” the admission came out without you even realizing, “But that doesn’t give you the right to…. to hurt my feelings. But hey, I didn't expect you to care. Especially not for what I am feeling because of you and your words. Regardless-“

But he cut you off. “Who said I don't care?” He almost hissed. You gave him a dumbstruck look. “Uhm… you? When you said the sex meant nothing and it was just a way ‘way to occupy time and keep warm’, if i may quote you” You crossed your arms over your chest, effectively silencing him.

“As I was saying. Regardless of what is going on on a personal level, I need you to respect me and my feelings, as your squad mate. I don’t even expect an apology, I just… needed to say this.” You concluded.

He didn’t say anything. Did nothing but roll another toothpick between his fingers that were resting on his lap.

You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes and quickly stood, intending to head back to the ship. Once again, you felt stupid. Stupid for thinking you could get somewhat of a reasonable response from in, elicit any sort of emotions in that man

. But Crosshair’s hand caught your elbow, making you stop and turn around. “What???” You hissed.

“I’m…I’m sorry” Came the whispered apology, and finally, his eyes met yours. You’ve never heard these words leave his lips, at least not in a serious manner like this. His eyes said it too; he regretted the way he made you feel.

For what felt like eternity, neither of you moved an inch or said anything. You just stared at each other like two deers caught in headlights. Until he broke the silence.

“You of all people should know that… I tend to say things that I don't mean” He admitted, and you softened. Slowly, you sat back down, close enough so your knees were touching. That made him sigh a small sigh of relief.

“I… I didn't know that. So I'm gonna need you to tell me what you actually intended to say that day. What that night actually meant to you” You said boldly, yet gently.

You could see the Sniper’s Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, trying to form words. Trying to *find* words. He seemed to be struggling, at war with himself as if this situation made him incredibly uncomfortable.

Crosshair never told anyone, and he wasn’t sure he could tell you now, but he has had feelings for you ever since you joined the squad. He just knew he could never have you, knew that he would just end up hurting you. And from the way you always spoke to Hunter, he even figured you had a thing for the Sergeant.

For the longest time, he managed to somewhat ignore his feelings. He only admired you discreetly, he silently dreamed of you and your beautiful soul every so often, and he only touched himself to the thought of you when absolutely no one was around.

His plan worked like a charm, up until the mission on Kijimi came. He knew when he was paired with you that he was responsible, that he had to look out for you and make sure you were okay.

Something inside him snapped when you were in that cabin. It was the first time you needed him, and damn, you looked beautiful when you slept peacefully. So, one thing led to another, and all those feelings he had mastered to suppress now came bubbling up to the surface again, and he felt vulnerable.

He couldn’t find the right words to tell you that he adored you.

And the sharpshooter just couldn’t take it anymore. If he couldn’t tell you what he felt, he would show you. Before you even realized it, his hands cupped your jaw and he kissed you, gentle yet hard, shyly yet desperately.

You were stunned for a solid few seconds, but no person in their right mind could resist kissing those soft lips back.

With your hands now wrapped around the back of his neck, you almost thought he was going to take you right there on this bench, but he once again took you by surprise.

He pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours. “Damnit Y/N, I… m’ not a good man, okay? You deserve better than me. Someone who won’t break your heart, someone who can show you what he feels for you. Show you how incredible you are.” He whispered.

Your heart skipped a beat and you reached up to cup his cold cheek in your warm palm. “But what if there is no one better than you? What if I want you for who you are, want whatever you are willing to share?” You whispered in return, opening your eyes to smile at him.

He still seemed at war with himself. “I’m not good for you. I don’t wanna influence you in a bad way. You’re perfect the way ya are” He murmured.

You chuckled softly, brushing your thumb over his lower lip. “If I wanted good influence, I wouldn't be part of this squad” you grinned, causing him to crack a smile as well.

“Apology accepted, Cross. Let’s be friends again” You concluded, and he shook his head.

He couldn’t go back to the way things were, not now that he had laid his cards open for you to see, not now that you patched things up again.

“Not friends. You were never just my friend” He admitted quietly, his eyes soft in a way you’ve never seen.

“I know, for the longest time, you were my pain in the ass” You giggled, causing him to roll his eyes in a playful manner.

“Like I said, i… am not a good man. But… I’ll try. For you. If you’ll have me, that is” The sniper gave your knee a squeeze, causing you to bite your lip cutely.

You said nothing, but you knew you didn’t need to. You pressed your lips to his, knowing that he understood. Of course you would have him. You wanted nothing more in this galaxy.

“Cmon, you big grump. Let’s go back inside before the others worry” You encouraged, offering him your hand. He gladly took it, and you decided you could definitely get used to this.

Later that night, everyone, now in various stages of drunkenness, headed back to their own rooms in the inn that they had booked. They were all getting claustrophobic on the Marauder and wanted to sleep in a real bed for once.

Hunter had booked three rooms, and the gentleman that he is, he offered you to get one for yourself. That’s where you were right now, getting changed into something comfortable and brushing out your hair, when you heard a knock.

You walked to the door barefoot to open it, and found Crosshair standing in the dimly lit hallway, towel tucked under his arm. “Hey.. can I shower here? Wrecker’s jerking off in ours” he sighed but offered you a little smile.

You giggled. “Of course, come in! I was feeling lonely anyways” You admitted, closing the door behind him once he entered.

While he was in the shower, you sat on the squeaky bed and were deep in thought, processing everything that had happened today. You woke up with a broken heart that morning, disappointed and hurt, but now you would go to bed with a bright smile and butterflies in your stomach.

You’d seen a completely new side of him earlier. Never in a million years would you have known how gentle he could be, let alone the feelings he had for you.

All of a sudden, you wanted more. You wanted what you had in the Cabin, but make it feel *real* this time.

Listening to the running water was exciting, in a way. You knew that Crosshair was in there, naked, and you could just walk in if you really wanted to. After all, he didn’t lock the door.

But that wouldn’t be appropriate and respectful, you concluded. Still, your brain started conjuring up images that you would definitely remember for a later point in time…

The water turned off, and a few minutes later, Crosshair came out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, clothes neatly folded in his hand.

“You don’t have to leave, you know” You blurted out, eyes glued to his chest. His skin still glistened from the shower he just took and he smelled so *damn* good, you started to drool.

He smirked. “Sure you want me to stay? We both know what happened the last time we shared a bed” He said, putting his clothes down on a nearby table. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind not sharing a room with Wrecker tonight. That way, the gentle giant could have the bed to himself and the sniper could snuggle up to a warm, soft body he’d admired for so long.

“I wouldn’t mind it happening again” You whispered, looking up at him. He was now in front of your sitting form, abs right in your face. He didn’t give you long to look at them, though, as he used a curled finger to tilt your chin up.

“I don’t wanna force it. Wanna do this right.” He insisted softly, and god damnit, you could feel the heat radiating off his body and onto your face.

“Then let’s do this right. Do *me* right” You said, rising to your feet slowly. Was this a bad idea, you thought, would this ruin everything that you just patched back up with him?

But all of those worries melted away when he kissed you for the second time that day, and once again surprised you just with how gentle he was.

That’s how you ended up on the bed, with him on top of you caging you in. His towel had slipped off in the process, but even though he was tempted to rut his hips against yours, he remained still. Your kisses got deeper and deeper, until eventually, you couldn’t help but moan into it.

His tongue swept against your lower lip, asking for entrance, which you granted him. It wasn’t a battle of who could have the upper hand, like it was the last time you two were intimate, this was so different. He was gentle, touching the warm muscle against yours so softly as if you were the most delicate heap of whipped cream for him to lap up and enjoy.

You felt his hands wander, slipping under your shirt to touch your completely bare skin, mapping out every inch of your body.

There wasn’t a time in your life where you had felt so cared for and precious. On one hand, you wanted to show this beautiful side of the sniper to the whole world, to prove that he does care and is the most wonderful lover.

On the other hand… the thought that he only treated you in this way made you feel special.

He took his time with you, just kissing your lips, face and neck delicately, as if he was scared to break or hurt you, and you didn’t even care if this led to sex or not. This already made your whole damn day, week, hell, *life*.

When one of his hands reached the hem of your panties, you felt his voice right by your ear. “May I touch you here?” He murmured in a low baritone that caused you to whimper.

You spread your legs more and nodded, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss.

His slender fingers slipped under the smooth fabric of your underwear and found your heat, spreading the dampness around with two digits.

“You’re so karking beautiful” He whispered, sucking on your neck to make sure he left his mark for all to see. You moaned when his middle finger started to circle your clit, arching your hips up into his touch.

Crosshair couldn’t believe that this was real life. Finally, after so many months, he could pour his feelings into every delicate touch, every soft kiss and every word he murmured into your ear. He had fantasized about this very moment countless times, and he would not disappoint.

Your moans were music to his ears. He slowly inserted one finger, then another, pumping ever so gently as if he wanted to caress your inner walls like he did to your skin just moments ago.

“Is this okay?” He murmured, nuzzling your face, and you swore you would burst into tears if he kept being this sweet and caring.

“Y-yeah… been longing for this” You moaned out in response, circling your hips in time with each stroke of his fingers. “But I want all of you”.

You opened your eyes and reached for his length, which, to your surprise, was already hard and waiting to be tended to. He hissed in surprise and pressed his fingers against that spongey part inside of you, causing you to yelp and squeeze your fingers around him.

He smirked softly. “There it is” He chuckled with a knowing expression, voice a bit hoarse from the way you pumped his shaft.

After working your G-spot for just another moment, he removed his fingers and rolled on top of you to replace them with his cock, blunt tip prodding at your entrance.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked, one hand on the side of your head to stabilize himself, the other holding himself in place and ready to slide in.

You held his soft gaze and nodded, leaning up to kiss you. “I want you” You whispered, your legs wrapping around his hips almost on their own.

He connected his forehead with yours as he pushed in inch by inch, a long, relieved groan coming from the back of his throat to match your quiet moans.

Fucking hells, is that what love felt like? Cause whenever you had sex with people in the past, you didn’t feel your heart being at the brink of explosion, you didn’t feel like you wanted to give every inch of yourself to that person, didn’t feel like if you died right now, you would die a happy woman.

Your train of thought was cut short when he started rolling his hips into yours. Not like in the cabin, where he slammed his cock into you like he wanted to permanently nail you into the bed, no. He did this like he wanted to feel every little ridge and bump deep inside you, like you were precious and needed to be worshiped.

The sniper’s name fell from your lips like a prayer, causing him to moan- not groan, not grunt, not hum- full on *moan*, and it was a beautiful sound that you were keen on hearing again and again.

Even though you two merely rolled your bodies against one another, the bed beneath you started to squeak with each time Crosshair reached that furthest spot inside of you. It made you giggle breathlessly, and Crosshair grinned, never stopping his gentle assault on your wet heat.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful… so beautiful” He panted softly, pushing your shirt up to your neck to expose your breasts. With a satisfied hum, he leaned down to take a hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling gently.

Your head was absolutely spinning by now, hands clawing at his back and shoulders, your heart throbbing inside of your chest.

“Cross, i think-“ you whimpered, already feeling that beautiful high approaching. It hasn’t been long, but all the buildup to this very moment had you more than ready.

“Me too…” he surprised you with his words, picking up the pace just a little and reaching a hand down to massage your nub. “Cum with me, mesh’la.” the sniper almost pleaded, his voice becoming strained.

The moan you let out when your orgasm washed through your body was muffled by Crosshair’s lips, he swallowed down every sound and echoed it back to you.

Feeling you clenching around him was all it took for him to reach his crescendo as well, spurts of white hot release coating your insides, making you one.

You two remained like this for a while, just breathing with and holding one another, hearts beating in tandem. Eventually, though, the sharpshooter became a bit heavy.

“Sweet stuff… crushing me…” You chuckled, gently nudging him off of you. You hissed at the loss of contact when his soft member slipped out of you.

“Heh, sorry” He apologized, opting to pull you onto his chest instead. “That was…”

“Yeah, i agree” You said, causing a chuckle to rumble low in his chest. Your eyes met his and you couldn’t help but sigh happily. “I’m glad we were able to sort things out”

“Me too. And… and I meant it, you know. Wanna start being better at… at this” Crosshair murmured, playing with your hair adoringly.

You leaned up to kiss him, lips slotting perfectly against his own.

Yeah, this could work.

~Fin~

A/N pt 2: I know the actual smut part is kinda short, but lemme tell you, sometimes good sex only takes 5 minutes irl, so it’s all good. Good nasty times don’t have to last an hour babes! I still hope you enjoyed it, please let me know if you want a follow up to this or works similar to this! Reblogs and comments are so appreciated <33333

Tags: @nahoney22 @notreallybeccab @findinghiddentruths @lackofhonor @jennrosefx @pgangler @essadaliz @discofern @mikaiyawa @kaorikizumi @in-the-crosshairs @darkangel4121 @imalovernotahater @essadaliz Couldn’t tag a bunch of you, sorry:/

(let me know if you wanna be added in future stuff!)

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 4 years

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not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.)

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not.

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look," you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him. First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions.

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him.

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

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age-of-flower-power · 3 years

Text

Give Love a Chance (J.T.K) - Chapter 2

Pairing: Jake Kizska x f!Reader

Summary: What happens when an overtly quirky hopeless-romantic girl who’s given up on love is confronted by a strikingly handsome bad boy in a band? What can these two learn from each-other and how can they both work to improve each-other’s lives, while also spiraling within the intense drama that unfolds between their love? Why don’t you just read to find out, rom-com style.

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter

A/N: Hey guys! So I started writing this because I needed to take a break from another chaptered fic I was working on, but it sort of became it’s own thing and grew from there. This was created to souley mock how romantic comedies portray romance, but I fell in love with the characterization so I hope you enjoy anyway. Don’t you just love the “she’s quirky and not like other girls but he’s a bad boy and has a lot to learn from her” trope?

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, okay. Don’t come for me.

Chapter 1

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The next morning you woke up in your apartment alone and a text from Annie recounting that she was out with her boyfriend and getting groceries, which meant she would be gone for a while. You knew her, they would probably get lunch while out, meaning you had the morning to yourself. Thankfully, you didn’t mind.

You took your time showering and putting on a cozy outfit, cleaning your glasses with the end of your shirt before sliding them onto the bridge of your nose.

It was Saturday so you didn’t have to worry about work, you could lounge around and spend your free time how you pleased which mainly consisted of listening to a record of choice spin till it was done and scrolling absentmindedly on your phone… well, that and the excitement of the napkin that laid limp from beside you on your bed, basically teasing you to pick it up and text the number that was written messily onto it.

You avoided it the night before simply because you didn’t want to make any drunk mistakes, but now sober and freshly showered, you had no excuse for yourself. The only true reason being you had never gotten a guy’s number before. Let alone, a cute guy who was probably amazing with his fingers- you coughed.

“Okay. I can do this.” You said to yourself, grasping the napkin in your hand lightly to inspect the number carefully. Your other hand held your device, a new contact pulled up fresh and ready to go… Your thumb hovered over the keypad and you bit your lip as you began to punch in the digits.

The contact read: Jake (from the bar).

You pulled open the message portion of the contact, thinking of what on earth you would possibly say first. The guy had given you his number meaning you had to text first.

“Ugghhh- why is this so hard!” You complained to yourself after your brain came up empty with what you could possibly type. You typed of various things, deleted them, and tried again. You had no idea what to say…

hi this is (Y/N), you gave me your number at the bar, remember? That was way too specific, right?

Hey, is this Jake? Well that seemed to be too little of anything to go off of, what if he thought a wrong number was contacting him?

You threw your body down and onto your bed, groaning up at the ceiling. Okay, maybe you were overthinking things.. You could always send a simple, Hey, or a quick Hi.

You brought your phone back to your face, glaring at the blank message screen. You let yourself exhale through your nose once before typing, and before you second guess yourself, you hit send.

You:

I think you’re worth a bit of my time.

Sent, 11:04am

That was probably fine. Maybe he would think of it as witty, or inspiring… maybe even ignore it and move on because he seemed like the kind of guy to have girls falling at his feet. You hoped not… Well, it wasn’t like you were unused to putting yourself out there. You had sworn off love after your last failed attempt, but something about this beautiful stranger just felt different.

------------

The rest of your afternoon was spent lazily, you had settled yourself on the living room couch and binged some old-timey movies to pass away the day. You resisted the violent urge to check your phone, opting instead to leave it in your room as you distracted yourself with outdated romance scenes. It was easier than expected, especially when your thoughts were full of nothing but how actually lovesick some writers could get. Throw a quirky girl into an unexpected situation and expect her to fall for some dreamy eyed man? Yeah right.

Just as you were finishing a heart-wrenching scene of some guy chasing a girl’s train as it chugged and chooed on, you heard your phone ringing from your bedroom. Immediately the movie was paused and you shot up to run and grab it.

You launched yourself at your bed, glasses nearly knocked off your face. Not wasting any time with the caller ID, you picked it up from where it had laid on your bedsheets, and put the device to your ear.

“Jake?” You asked wistfully, scolding yourself at your tone. Fuck, that was embarrassing.

“Hey (Y/N)- wait, who's Jake?- Uh nevermind,” You recognized Annie’s voice from the other end of the line, letting out a dramatic sigh when you realized it was only your roommate, “I’m at the grocery store, do you need anything?” She asked.

You frowned, letting your shoulders relax. When had they become tense? Oh, probably when you were nearly throwing yourself on top of your bed. “No, but if you see any of those fun muffins with the blueberries grab them for me.” You replied to her. You could hear Annie from the other side of the line speak to her boyfriend about it before the phone was put back to her ear.

“Anything else while I'm here?” She asked you. You explained no, sounding rather bored. “Okay then… who’s Jake?” Her tone was teasing and exactly the opposite of what you needed so before she could inquire more you hung up, snickering about how she might complain about that to you later.

You watched the phone return to your lock screen after the call, eyes scanning on a new notification. A text message…

Jake (from the bar):

Good. Can I take you out sometime? Lmk.

Sent, 12:23pm

The squeal of excitement you let out towards this man’s reply was probably a little immature and really unholy in all honesty, but you didn’t care. He had texted you back, and he had asked to take you out! That was a double edged sword coming from a man you barely even knew.

You quickly typed back, maybe a little desperate for a change from the mundanity of your usual Saturday schedule.

You:

I'm free tonight :)

Sent, 2:12pm

You only proof-read your own text after it had actually been sent, mentally scolding your terrible ability to embarrass yourself unwillingly through terrible use of emoticons. Immediately after you had sent that though, your phone chimed yet again. You pushed up your lenses.

Jake (from the bar):

Great, drinks?

Sent, 2:12pm

You were not expecting a reply that suddenly but it made your heart pitter-patter inside your chest as you read it over. You waited a few minutes to say something back, just for the little anticipation aspect of it all.

You:

Sounds good to me. Where should I meet you @?

Sent, 2:16pm

You shot up from your bed after sending that text, going to your closet to speculate over some outfit choices. It was a Saturday night, so something far less casual would probably be appropriate attire for drinks. Was this a date? You didn’t want to ask, somehow through some higher power, you had steeled a man to even look in your direction. Hey, even get a number. You didn’t want to push your luck by any means necessary.

Just as you pulled out a choice of outfit, your phone did that little chiming sound that might’ve started a Pavlov effect… oh well. You stopped rummaging through all of your clothes to pick up your phone.

Jake (from the bar):

-address-

Sent, 2:21pm

You knew that bar, it was corner to Main St, meaning it was a part of the well-known night life of the city you lived in. Well, there was a first time for everything, and although you had never been much for staying out late, you would grow accustomed to it if needed.

Your phone chimed again.

Jake (from the bar):

7pm, see you there.

Sent, 2:22pm

Jake, the handsome stranger, seemed to be good at giving demands and calculating a time and place. You didn’t mind one bit, it made it easier if you didn’t have to make all the decisions for yourself anyway. You smiled, looking at the screen.

You:

See you there

Sent, 2:23pm

------------

Annie had a lot of questions for you by the time she came back to your shared apartment, firstly being who this “Jake guy” was, and secondly why you looked so nice for a night of staying in.

You were putting in small silver hoops into your ears as you had to break the news to her that you were going out for a few drinks with someone, and declined to tell her any further information aside from ill keep you updated and no, I won’t get kidnapped.

She didn’t really have any more time to question you because you were off before the kitchen clock could even read 6:45pm, leaving Annie in your wake.

You ended up deciding to walk there to waste time, and also calm whatever nerves you were feeling about this whole situation. The bar wasn’t far from your apartment since Annie and you lived pretty close to Main St itself, but you kept your pace steady. It would be good to not be directly there at 7pm anyway, you reasoned with yourself. Especially since you were known to be early most of the time, and right now you weren’t sure just yet if the handsome stranger- Jake- was the same way.

As you walked, you felt the crisp autumn air settling into your skin, pulling the wool cardigan you had thrown on closer to your body with each step. Your outfit was cute, simple. The soft pink of the cardigan helped to accent the white buttons that were sewn into it, your white tank underneath tucked into your denim skirt. (Your cute designer white sneakers made you feel like a college kid all over again, but it was modest and showed enough cleavage and leg to be promiscuous if you so-chosen to.)

Turns out, he wasn’t the same way as you. You figured that out pretty quickly when you sat down at the bar already with a drink and the time on your phone read 7:15pm. You sighed, mixing around the ice inside your glass and watching it swirl. 15 minutes wasn’t really all that late, but as it neared 7:20 and then 7:25 you were no longer with any liquid in your glass, ready to give up. 25 minutes was pretty late, right? You couldn’t be sure, you had never been stood up before.

That feeling in your gut began to sink as your phone neared 7:30pm. Okay. 30 minutes was definitely late, and it was embarrassing somewhat because you had been sitting at the bar alone for that time, nursing a glass of ice at this point. You felt ridiculous, maybe it was because you were drinking alone on a Saturday night, or because you felt out of place around all the pretty faces and bar-hoppers…

Just as you were getting ready to pay the tab, a hand settled on the small of your back and a body shifted from beside your right to lean to the bartender to place an order. Jake only removed his hand gracefully when he settled into the stool next to you, relaxed in his posture as he lounged one arm against the bar top.

He smirked at you, then frowned when you looked rather taken aback.

“I know I'm late,” he said smoothly, holding up a hand in defense, “but I have good reason.” He said. You raised a brow, waiting for his excuse, he didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. “I forgot my wallet and had to run back home, I swear I had left to be here at seven.”

You had heard better excuses, but he seemed honest enough, and with the way he drank in the sight of you in-front of him, you found it wasn’t as big of a deal to you as before.

“So, Jake, right?” You tested the name on your tongue carefully, recounting the contact in your phone and also the napkin from the night before.

“Yeah that’s me,” he pushed his hair over his shoulder almost nervously, “I didn’t get your name last night.” It was more of a statement than a question, he came off that way to you rather quickly. You never failed to notice small things about others you chose to involve yourself with.

“No? I suppose you were pretty busy last night.” You chided back. He shrugged, as if he didn’t care to notice his own talent. He was a menace to society if he wanted to act all humble now, even if he actively oozed a confidence you severely lacked. “I'm (Y/N).” You formerly replied, biting your lip after you spoke your own name.

Jake tested the name on his smooth lips. “(Y/N)? It suits you.” he said honestly. You tilted your head.

“You think?”

“Mm, I do. Offsets your whole modest personality.” Well, you’d heard from others you could come off as eclectic or quirky, but modest? Game on, you thought to yourself.

“Modest? And I suppose that makes you, what, some type of “too-cool” for nice girls kinda guy?” You replied back. You watched as he chuckled, humored by your comment. He nodded, clearly taken back by the quick remark.

“Well, I wouldn’t go as far to say, what is it? Too cool. But I'm flattered, either way.” You both watched as the bartender made their way back to deposit the drinks in front of the two of you, replacing your own empty glass with a new one of the same kind. You sipped absentmindedly, humming as you watched Jake take a swig and swallow, his throat bobbing at the action. Suddenly your mouth seemed a little dry.

“I'm sure a guy like you can stand to take a few compliments, right?” You said, having to break eye contact for just a second so Jake wouldn’t have to see your mind work against itself as you pushed away any unholy thoughts. Honestly girl, get it together.

“What makes you say that?” He teased, setting his glass down. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes playfully, knowing damn well this man knew he was attractive.

“Oh please,” you remarked, “long hair? Plays guitar in a band? Probably hasn’t buttoned his shirt fully in years? You should’ve seen half the girls last night, you’re too much to look at.” Jake belly laughed, his beautiful straight teeth showing with the way his airy laugh filled the space between the two of you.

“God, you’re funny.” He said, smirking when you blushed. You didn’t know where the confidence was coming from, but talking to Jake was easy and you were not used to that sort of stigma when it came to approaching and talking to men… maybe it was the drink you had downed before he got here, but just from your short interaction you could tell he was already having an effect on you.

“Thanks, I try.” You said honestly, shifting on the barstool beneath you. “So, why’d you give me your number?” You asked, wanting to know exactly what game this boy was playing with you.

Jake watched you, considering your question carefully. You liked the way he pursed his lips in thought, like he was racking through answers in his head to give you.

“Honestly?” He asked. You nodded. “I just thought you were beautiful,” you bit your lip, “and it was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t recognize me.” He chuckled as he stated the last bit. You chuckled as well, shrugging easily.

“You’re just that popular around these parts, huh?” You joked, fiddling with the tiny black straw in your drink as you watched him calculate your next move.

“You’d be surprised. The guys,” you assumed he meant the other members of the band, “and I are working towards something big, and it doesn’t go unrecognized.”

He took another swig of his drink, wiping his lip with his thumb. “But enough about me. What about you? I should probably let you talk since I almost made you think you were about to be stood up.” Now it was your turn to belly laugh, appalled by just how bad his timing was.

“Well there isn’t really much to say… I’m a free-lance writer and journalist, and I spend a lot of time with my roommate when I'm not working. She’s sort of the reason I even came to the show last night, otherwise I probably would’ve been at home sobbing over some shitty movie and digesting a bottle of dry wine alone.” You explained to him, nothing whether or not he seemed bored with you already. He didn’t.

Usually you would get nervous about talking a boy’s ear off, especially since you considered yourself to be rather bleak and mild compared to some of the people you chose to hang around. Even still, Jake didn’t seem to mind, soaking up what you were telling him like it was important to be heard. You shifted in your seat again.

“So you can spin a good story?” He asked, turning his body to face you better. The conversation was pretty open, his body language hinting that he was interested.

“Yes and no? I like to write about honest things like current events, or local things that seem important to this town, but nothing that would notarize me as anything major.” You told him. Jake pushed some hair that had fallen into his face away coolly.

“Anything I would’ve read?” He asked you. You shook your head, adjusting the cardigan around you as a chill seemed to run in from always as someone entered the bar, goosebumps tingling your skin.

“Not unless you find the socio-political climate of house plants interesting.” Okay yeah, that was a terrible and nerdy thing to say, but somehow Jake laughed at it anyway and you smiled at him for it. The airy laugh he had was wonderful, and it did well to offset the way his overall demeanor came off as. Like when he was laughing, or inquiring about the little things that mattered, he didn’t have to play a part as a cool bad-boy.

The rest of the night was fun, and you felt like you were floating. You got to know Jake surprisingly well in those few short hours. His full name was Jacob Kiszka, the other members of his band were his two brothers (one being a twin) and the other being a best friend. He liked dark chocolate, he found the most random things funny, and he liked the way you explained your simple pleasures so much he didn’t check his phone once until you asked him what time it was hours into the night.

Strangely, it was nearing 11pm when the first yawn escaped your lips. You had slowed down your drinking a little after 10pm, leaving that last hour at the bar with Jake to converse rather tipsy about stupid would-you-rather scenarios. Jake had started it by asking if you were more of a dog than cat person, and it had spiraled into ridiculous things from there.

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty late, huh?” Jake said. Also, at some point in the night you had seemingly moved closer together, your knees brushing his own from where you both sat.

You pushed your glasses up, pulling your phone from your skirt pocket to check the time. 11:37pm. You inhaled a sharp breath, giggling to yourself. “So it has. I hope you don’t think I'm lame, I’m not usually up super late these days.” You remarked, sliding your phone back into your pocket when he shook his head noncommittally.

“Not at all, I had fun. You’re interesting, funny, and might I add,” he leaned in, his breath ghosting your neck, “adorable.” It smelled of whiskey and teakwood, making you shiver for a second time tonight. As badly as you wanted him, you would be better off prolonging sleeping with a guy you just met. You weren’t sure if you were even ready to commit to anything serious, not after your last relationship. You had to be sure of what Jake was looking for too, another heartbreak wouldn’t put your hopeless romantic self in a good headspace.

“Mm, okay handsome, whatever you say.” You deflected the compliment, giggling when it made him frown ever so slightly.

“Can I take you out again sometime after tonight? Ya know, to make up for my first mistake.” He asked you, sliding his wallet out to lay a few bills on the table top under his empty glass. Your eyes sparkled at the thought.

“Mistake?” You inquired, to which he nodded.

“I was late, and first impressions are the most important.” He told you, standing from where you both had been sitting for what seemed like forever, and then in turn helping you slide off your barstool with a careful hand. You wobbled a little to adjust your legs to the ground, only letting your hand fall away after he had squeezed it ever so gently.

“Oh,” you said, “I had almost forgotten…” You rejusted your skirt, smoothing it out over your legs. Clearing your throat, you finished with, “Yes. I’d like that.”

Jake was pleased with your response, and you were pleased with yourself for even having the courage to text him back so suddenly this morning.

“Wonderful. I’ll just shoot you a text sometime.” he walked you out, hands in his pockets as you walked into the night air with him, stopping once you were on the sidewalk outside the bar, a few feet away from him. “I had fun, really.” He told you, pushing his hair back in the wind and smirking when you blushed to reply.

“Me too. I’ll see you around…” And before you turn away to walk in the direction of your apartment building, a strong hand takes a hold of your wrist. Just as your body swings to look back Jake is suddenly there and closing the distance between the two of you. A finger curls itself under your chin to tilt your head up for a soft and shallow kiss. Your lips meet Jake’s in a shy and timid way, your hands resting awkwardly on either side of your body, unsure of how to move them.

You both lingered there, together, for just a moment.

Jake pulled away to breathe against your lips, your own parted and glossy. The finger on your chin tilted you up just a tad more so you could stare deep into the brooding and affectionate shade of brown that made up his eyes. He then winked at you, accenting the spur-of-the-moment kiss he had initiated. “Think of me.” Jake whispers.

And just as fast as you two had collided, he had turned on his heel steadfast to make his exit, waving offhandedly as his back faced you now, sauntering off and down the neon-lit street. You were left speechless, a hand raised to cover your parted lips in awe as you watched him walk away into the night, heart hammering loudly inside your chest at the abrupt contact and sudden loss of it all in less than a minute.

This man was going to be the death of you in some way or another- it was like you could feel it.

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Taglist: @theweightofstardust @joshkiszkas @kiszkawagnerwhore @oyoke lmk if you want to be removed or added!

#greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #gvf fic #jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #my fic #give love a chance #gvf #greta van fleet x reader #we die like men #i have absolutely no schedule to post #chapters coming out randomly #dying like a man

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sinisterlyhan · 4 years

Text

04 ; 02. 2chan / 10,201 words

threesome, female!reader, unprotected sex, size kink, 2chan rivalry but very faint, a little bit of fluff and a little bit of romance, oral (male receiving), creampie, public sex, overstimulation-ish, slight degradation

tw: mc feels slight discomfort because she couldn’t breath for a little

parts: 01 ; 02 ; 03

a/n: i’m sorry for not updating for so long, i hope this isn’t too bad! also if i missed some tags or tw, please tell me!

changbin dreaded the end of statistics class.

he sat at the back of the classroom, your pretty back in his direct line of sight. perhaps he shouldn't have chosen such an obvious spot, but he wasn't thinking back then. he was too preoccupied with infuriation—and perhaps defeat—that chan had just fucked you in this exact room.

not to mention that shit-eating grin he had on his face when he left the room. you two must have had a good time, whatever that was supposed to insinuate.

that fact alone could mean a lot of things about your relationship with chan and your undiscovered relationship with him, but changbin couldn't exactly pinpoint which one was the truth.

have you gotten over him already? was there anything for you to get over, to begin with? was he even good enough to leave a print in your head, as you did him?

those were reasonable but irritating questions to think about. because he really shouldn't assume you would be thinking about him just because he spent most of his time replaying the sex you two had in minho's closet weeks ago.

the frustration he felt whenever he opened his eyes and all he saw was his own hand clutching his cum-filled cock, the sight going against his imagination where your tight mouth has wrapped perfectly around his length, was immeasurable.

but oh wow, nothing could have prepared him for the disappointment he felt a while ago.

he grew ever so nervous throughout the class, his eyes glaring at your back unconsciously as thoughts rippled through his brain, asking himself why he thought asking you such a narcissistic question was a good idea to fuel his need for validation.

"tell me the true, was i better?"

god, embarrassing! embarrassing! that was chan you just fucked. good-looking, strong, warm-hearted chan. he probably took very good care of you, didn't he? that's what he's good at.

changbin sighed. it wasn't that he didn't think he would be good enough to be on par with chan. for the sake of his ego, he'd even say he is probably a hell lot better.

but he knew it would probably feel better and more at ease when you're getting intimate with someone you knew rather than with a stranger. and he was a stranger to you, albeit quite familiar but a stranger nonetheless. and he had fucked you only with the purpose of making everyone hear you, which he assumed was a reason different than chan’s.

"alright, that's it for today! we will continue with the chapter on friday!"

oh, no, no. changbin wasn't ready to confront you yet! he hasn't thought about all the possible scenarios yet—what would he do if you do be truthful to him and you tell him that chan was better? how could he ever bounce back from such humiliation!

he hastily gathered his things, lumping them all up in one hand while his other hand reached for his bag so he could shover everything inside. maybe if he just left without a word, he could play it off as him not actually giving two shits about the situation, that what happened at the start of class was just him provoking you for no reason.

but you had taken his urgency into account, unlike how changbin had wished for it to appear less attention-grabbing, and you got the wrong idea out of it. what you thought would be a gut-wrenchingly frightful glance turned into a hesitant, worried one when you saw the way changbin was hurrying out the classroom.

was he upset with you? could he possibly be annoyed that you used chan to get over him—you flinched at the thought. oh, that wasn't the right word, not exactly. sure, you did use chan, but he offered himself to you and you have no plans to ghost him after he fucked you into oblivion during a stupid quickie.

devils! you haven't even got the time to properly recall the encounter, or how both chan and changbin was able to send you to cloud nine under a limited, stressful time.

talk about being good in bed. you've got some stories to tell if you ever stumble into one of minho's parties again.

without yourself knowing, your hands have already grabbed onto your bag and your legs were already bringing you to changbin. you were under the impression that he was mad at you, and as much as you were trying to 'get over him,' you didn't want him to harbor terrible feelings towards you, so you planned to set this straight.

"changbin, wait," you said as you laid your hand on his arm, your delicate touch making him stop.

slowly turning around, his eyes grazed past your face—slowly and surely leaving the shape of your lips and up to your eyes, then he softened indefinitely at those concerned eyes.

you've always shown them to him, even before the closet sex, but he somehow never noticed them. what an absolute waste, your eyes bring him so much joy now that he was almost mad he didn't begin to appreciate them from the start.

"what?" he asked, his voice cold in a way that made you wince internally.

"i just... i thought you wanted me to answer your question," you said timidly, your hands meeting each other at the front as you lowered your head.

changbin felt a shiver down his back. god, that embarrassing question. he wished that he had never asked it, the courage he mustered up to say something like that has long left his body. looking at you now, he couldn't exactly tell what answer you would give him, but he planned to assume the worst.

"what is your answer, then?" he asked, turning fully to you and crossing his arms.

you perked up quickly, your eyes staring into his intimidating ones. a revelation rushed through you when your eyes shifted down to his full lips. ah, you were kissing them not too long ago, how you wished you could have seen them all swollen and red.

moving down more, you watched his broad chest heave and muscular arms bulge out beneath his shirt, and you automatically pressed your knees together.

flashes of chan flooded into your brain; his body hovering over yours, his hand covering your mouth, and his hips snapping against yours to create a pleasuring sensation. the burn at your abdomen was gaining on your more and more, and your body shrunk into itself, making your smaller in front of changbin.

"i just–" you cut yourself off, your knees buckling suddenly as you finally took notice of the sticky sensation stained on the fabric of your underwear.

chan's cum from before was slowly dripping out of your heat, reminding you of how good he made you feel on the teacher's desk just a moment ago. you blushed at the recollection of what happened before class started. how did you even forget?

watching as your expression squirmed uncomfortably, your breathing growing to a deep halt, changbin glanced down at your pressed thighs and it took him a moment. he squinted his eyes, his cheeks puffing up with a grimace, then the realization hit him—have you not had enough? was your body aching for more now that you two were right on the topic?

"hey, what's... what's going on?" a soft voice came up from behind you, causing you to jump.

chan furrowed his brows in concern when he looked down at you, his hand clamping over your shoulder as he squeezed for confirmation. "are you okay?"

changbin eyed him briefly before he scoffed, turning away. "obviously not, chan. you just fucked her in the classroom."

chan froze. for a second, he was shocked that somebody had found out about it. it must have been the particularly whiny moan he let slip out of your lips. however loud that was, he just hoped nobody else suspected anything aside from changbin.

looking over at the boy, chan's rough exterior softened significantly at his friend's unreadable expression. dead eyes, clenched jaw, and a slightly pouty mouth—as unreadable as it was, it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that changbin was annoyed. at what, specifically? chan gladly assumed it was about the sex.

and he was happy that changbin was annoyed. proud, even, that he got the chance to taste his own medicine. disregarding the fact that he actually had it in him to feel jealous over your body being touched by someone else, chan was over the moon knowing that he got back at changbin for stealing so much of your attention.

"i did just fuck her," he hummed, turning to you and finally being able to understand your squirming. a smirk lit upon his face and he stepped closer to you, his face inching close to your ear. "and it felt good, didn't it?"

you blushed, your knees pressing even tighter together to a point where your posture was starting to appear weird. the cum was leaking out slowly, you could feel the itch it was causing you, and all you could think about was the way it could be fucked back inside your hole.

"i–i need to use the–the restroom," you said timidly, licking your lower lip.

chan raised his brow, amused. "you do?"

you sucked in a slow breath. woah, that was supposed the end of the conversation. you were supposed to announce that and leave the two of them, not stand here and wait for one of them to give you permission to go.

but you couldn't move. your legs screamed against the persistence in your chest, telling you to walk away so you could fix the mess in your panties, but you just couldn't move with the two of them staring half-heartedly at you with such obvious lust in their eyes, seemingly understanding the situation.

"what is she doing, waiting for permission to use the restroom?" changbin asked, the corner of his lips tugging up slightly.

"seems like it," chan muttered, glancing between him and you. then he chuckled, "is my cum dripping out? that's why you need to go fix it?"

changbin scoffed at the side, watching the blush creep up incredibly on your cheeks at what chan said. he sounded so smug about it too, it was like he forgot who has also done the same thing to you back at the party.

"you sound way too cocky for someone who filled her up after i did," changbin pointed out, smirking up at chan daringly when he saw the man clench his jaw in annoyance. "i hope you didn't forget that. you took her home that night too, didn't you? i wonder how that feels, knowing she sat in your car with her hole full and wet–"

"are you trying to make this into something it doesn't have to be?" chan cut him off, glaring.

"you're asking the wrong question," changbin replied, taking a glance towards you then back at chan, to whom to flashed a knowing smirk. "the question is if i am trying to turn this to something it doesn't have to be."

"what the fuck are you talking about?"

"how else are we going to settle this aside from letting her pick?" changbin shrugged nonchalantly, even though his heart was kindly beating at the incredulous idea he proposed. "i say we both fuck her again and see."

"seriously? (name), are you okay with this?" chan asked, snapping his head towards you after hearing the bewildering question.

the doubt piling up in his chest dissolved almost immediately when he saw your wide, seemingly pathetic eyes practically begging one of them to lead the way. you weren't speaking a single word, too shy to express yourself, so you could only show your desires through your blushed cheeks and squirmy legs.

the wetness was only gathering beneath your clothes. the hunger deep within your abdomen growled and growled as the two boys threw dirty words and nasty glares back and forth just to see who could one-up the other person.

disregarding the relationship problem that could ultimately arise from this, their rivalry made you feel so unbelievably perused and you felt pretty under their intense gaze.

you wanted the both of them; whatever they wanted to do with you and your body, you'd just take it with gratitude.

"looks like she is," changbin said, reaching out to grab a hold of your hand. he gave chan a short look, not bothering to convince him to follow along as he turned around and left with you trailing behind him obediently.

chan stood on his spot, not sure how he felt about sharing you. he couldn't even be sure if he could safely claim you as his either. it wasn't like he was your boyfriend.

fuck, just when he thought the whole changbin situation was finally coming to an end, that bastard jumped right back into your head and fucked everything up.

maybe he should use this chance to kick him out for good.

if you thought having sex in a classroom twenty minutes before class starts was a bad idea then changbin's got another thing in mind for you.

chan rolled his eyes as he pushed the study room door close quietly to not stir up commotion outside, then he made sure he locked the door before turning away from it to glare at you and changbin.

"you really don't waste any time, do you?" chan huffed out casually, his steps slow as he strode over to your side.

within a minute of changbin bringing you three into a reserved study room to the side of the school library, he has already got you pinned against the arranged desks sat in the middle of the small room. his impatience seeped through the gaps of his fingers around your neck, his eyes a possessive glare when chan came by.

you laid on the table, your back pressed against the hard surface and your heart beating faster than ever. having the two looming over your helpless body with such calculative condescension, as if you weren't anything more than porcelain doll to be thrown dangerously around for entertainment, was hopelessly arousing.

you would normally hate to be told what to do, or just to feel inferior to anybody in general. it always made your chest burn, it makes your words reckless. but this was much different—with them you'd obey, you'd do anything, including letting them fuck you in the school library.

after all, you knew you would get something pleasuring in return for being a good little girl, didn't you?

"i never wait to please anyone," changbin said, chuckling as he ran the back of his index finger down your cheek. the gleam in his eyes flashed darkly, and his hand turned to grip the side of your chin and pushed your head up slightly so you focus on him.

"especially not when it comes to this pretty baby," he cooed, leaning his body down to you.

his abdomen brushing between your legs and his nose running past the skin of your neck. he hummed in satisfaction, feeling the tremors of your body, and he roughly took a kissable bite on your pretty skin. you whimpered, your eyes shutting half-way as you automatically angled your head up at the mild pain.

changbin chuckled, his hand curling a little tighter around your neck as his free hand traveled down to your skirt. fumbling with the pretty hem of it, he slowly rubbed his way up your inner-thigh, his fingers squeezing the softness of it to earn tiny gasps from your sweet baby mouth.

it was all he could think about doing—getting those noises out of you. having to depend on his unreliable memory when replaying the sound of your voice was tragic; it was either too faint for him or his train of thoughts would get interrupted by doubt. he needed the real thing, he needed you.

running his lips across your neck, he urgently made his way to your lips where he pressed himself against you tightly. you closed your eyes, your hands flying to cup his face while your mouths moved passionately together. the way he kissed you made you feel so fluttery and blank, you weren't able to register your safety pants being pulled down your thighs until there was a poke at your clothed clit.

you gasped into changbin's mouth, the all too familiar feeling zapping through your body. his hand moved carefully, touching you like sharp edges and thin glass. his fingers played with the fabric of your pantie before he shifted it aside, his fingers running across your semi-wet slit before he pushed a digit in.

oh, your mind was wandering to someone else again! the content pleasure of changbin pumping his finger in and out of your slick hole, pushing chan's cum back into you as his digit got costed with white—it only kept reminding you of somebody else, it only kept reminding you of chan.

every single time. your mind would travel to somebody else every damn time! it was like you couldn't just have one of them, that you needed both of them to be present before you could be completely satisfied.

chan raised his brow when he saw you opened your eyes to glance at him, your glare a knowing gaze that made him both curious and amused. walking closer to changbin, he leaned down slightly to run his palm through your hair, disregarding the fact that changbin still got his mouth on yours.

well, it wasn't much of a kiss if you were looking at someone else anyway.

"mm–ugh, what the hell is your problem, chan?" changbin growled when your head was pulled to the side, a yelp escaping your lips at the sudden impact when your lips got torn away from his.

"what's my problem? what about you, huh?" chan directed his gaze towards you, his fingers clenching a fistful of your hair before he tugged at it, a brow rising funnily. "you can't even keep her attention when you've got your fingers in her pussy, i think the problem is all you, changbin."

changbin tilted his head for a moment, and when chan breathed out a deafening chuckle, his features relaxed into an unreadable state. turning to you, he wordlessly added another finger into your cunt and immediately curled his fingers to gather up the juices inside.

you gasped out a whimper, your eyes widening up at the ceiling light as he finger-fucked you at an increasing pace. your walls brushed against his skin, creating light friction, and the tip of his fingers poked against your walls to stir up an incredible impact. your mind swirled, bringing your lustful desire to wakefulness.

"bin–changbin, please," you stuttered out, your head perking up to look at his unwilling expression.

you were getting close, closer, and much closer. changbin watched as your eyes scrunched at the nearing climax before he smiled, and he stopped abruptly, keeping his fingers inside you. changbin waited a while before removing himself from your hole. he pulled the glistening objects up to his face, then he glanced at you.

you flinched at his dead gaze, and you heaved a sigh when he removed his hand from your neck whilst leaning down to get closer to you.

the dropping of his bag on the floor and the tinkling of his belt did not go unnoticed by you, even though he has got his face all up at yours. you suppressed the urge to smile then, the excitement that you would soon be filled up with his thick cock overwhelming you. and when changbin was finally close to your ear, you felt less helpless than you did a second ago when he paused at the brink of your orgasm.

"i'm surprised you still remember my name, princess," he muttered, his wet fingers running across your chin before they tapped against your mouth. "i thought you liked chan so much, i just completely vanished from your head.”

you let his arousal-filled fingers flip inside your mouth. your tongue slurped around the bitter taste of his skin, coated with chan's essence and your own. and amidst you fighting the urge to glance at chan again, changbin had successfully taken his pants and boxers off, and he carefully rubbed his length against your entrance to not lose control immediately.

"remember me?" he asked in a whisper, rubbing himself against you and fighting the urge to groan with pleasure.

hell, he hasn’t felt anyone up like this in some time. even just the surface of your core was enough to make him want to lose himself completely. you turned to him immediately, your attention snapping. the shape of his cock painted itself out along your slit, and you breathed out a high-pitched moan (careful not to be too loud about it) at the wet feeling.

this was what you've been looking for. you wanted more, you wanted bigger, you wanted him.

and changbin wasn't gonna give it to you.

for a whole minute, all changbin did was rub his length against your entrance. his tip would barely poke into your hole, letting you experience what could have been the most delightful stretch, and then he moves away to brush his length against your pussy, wetting his length up prettily and riling him up until the veins started to jut out more permanently in arousal.

it was a punishment, you thought. the fact that you were so close to tasting heaven on your lips, so close to getting that fulfillment of getting your hole stuffed with his cock, yet you could never have it because changbin decided he won't outright give it to you.

all the while changbin fucked himself against your slit, low moans escaping his lips with each firm stroke. his speed was even but his strength was getting slightly stronger each time. it was miserable, you felt horny and miserable. he really abandoned you on the table while he reached his head among the clouds.

whimpering with a grimace, you raised your head and looked at him. "changbin..."

"mm, fuck... what?" he grunted, not bothering to look at you as he grabbed your thighs to pull you closer to his cock, pressing himself against your clit this time to earn a reaction.

you gasped, resting on the table and frowning as you spoke, "you're not fucking me."

he slowed down his pace then, his brow rising in annoyance as a sneer reached his mouth. he glared down at you, one hand leaving your thigh to grip his shaft. he lathered his tip along your slit before pressing himself against your entrance, toying with your sensitive hole and never entering.

"aww, i'm sorry, i wasn't under the impression that i have to fuck you," he cooed at your whimper, his hot breath hitting your lips before he nudged the tip of his nose against them.

he closed his eyes, your pained gasps going straight to his skin when he pushed himself into you. he smirked as he paused, his cock barely even half-way in, and he pulled out of you to leave you feeling empty and never full.

"it's your fault for looking at somebody else when i'm right in front of you, princess," changbin huffed, planting a ghostly kiss on your lips before he stood up. his voice was much louder when he spoke again, "since you like chan so much, he can fuck you."

chan chuckled upon hearing his name. he dropped his bag on the floor, carefully placing it by the desk leg, then he moved over to stand between your legs. it was amusing to see changbin acting like this, not that he minded much though. he would love to have your hole all to himself; changbin can laze around by the side and watch as he fuck you into oblivion all he wanted.

you exhaled loudly but you kept your lips pursed, the breath leaving your nose and chest instead. the way you glanced hopefully at chan made him soft; whatever changbin did sure seemed frustrating. if anyone had done that to him, which he doubted anybody could, he would have reacted much more aggressively than you were.

well, it wasn't like you could act aggressively, though, you submissive little bitch.

"you're so petty, you know that?" chan said as he eyed changbin pointedly, then he turned his attention to you. his hand slipped over your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss between your eyes. when he pulled away, he had a faint pout on his mouth, and he whispered, “changbin is being mean, isn't he?"

ah, how mushy, like a daddy comforting his little girl. changbin almost wanted to barf at the side if it wasn’t for the wandering fingers dancing up your thighs. he knew you could feel them too, as your eyes widened as soon as chan’s middle and fourth finger slipped into your cunt. the way you widened your legs and let out a soft moan made him roll his eyes, a smirk adorning his face.

"there we go, baby girl. my fingers feel good, don't they?" chan mumbled, smiling smugly while planting soft kisses across your neck, peppering you with such gentle affection.

"yes, chan," you whispered, your cheeks reddening at he pumped his fingers faster. "ah... please.. m–more–mm!"

"aww, more? more what?"

chan stared at you, watching you struggle to string words together while his thumb pressed firmly against your clit and running circles on it. he waited patiently for your response, your hefty breathes making him feel a dominant delight.

"i–i want–i–" you exhaled, shy and dazy. for a moment, you turned your head to the side in an attempt to see if changbin was still standing somewhere nearby, but before your eyes could even find him, chan brought your attention back to him with a harsh tug.

"god, i can't believe you made the same mistake twice in a row, baby girl," chan laughed, his aggression slipping through his gentle facade. his grip clenched at the top of your neck, somewhere near your chin and your jaw where he squeezed at your bones. "you dumb little thing, who the hell are you looking for this time?"

"nobody–"

"i didn't tell you to answer," chan muttered, cutting you off abruptly.

his fingers left your pussy to his pants, where he swiftly trusted them down his thighs to allow his cock the spring out of his undergarment. with his essence-coated fingers, he gave his cock a few pumps, his eyes focused on the sight between your legs to get himself even more aroused than he already was.

“doesn't feel nice, does it?" changbin mused as he walked to the other end of the desk. he glanced down at you, his gaze indifferent and cold when he caught your eyes. he ran the back of his index finger against the side of your face then, his head tilting to admire your face as he mumbled, “i wasn’t being petty, i was simply putting this bitch in her place, that's all."

you wanted to lean into his hand, but he was gone the second he came. changbin's hand danced down your body and before he slipped it under the collar of your shirt. he went around your chest before reaching under your bra, his large hand cupping a soft hold of your breast.

you reached up for his wrist, feeling his finger squeeze and twist your nipple under your bra. the tingly sensation suddenly amplified when chan decided to position himself in front of your entrance, his tip gathering your wetness before he allowed himself to go in. changbin paused his movements when he looked up at chan, sharing a mutual nod before chan finally pushed himself into you.

your legs shook slightly at the feeling, your hands twisting around changbin’s wrists a little tighter as you gasped at the feeling. it hasn't been that long since you two had sex, it was only about an hour ago, thus making the initial stretch much less painful and more pleasuring. you sighed contently when he bottomed out, his cock hot and deep in your cunt.

"i'm gonna move, baby," chan said, grabbing your thighs and pressing them to his sides, "got it?"

you gave him a meek nod. "yes, ple–please."

changbin watched attentively as chan began to thrust into you. something about just watching the blissful faces you make was enough to arouse him, even though he wasn't the one at the other end, with his cock being engulfed by your pretty walls. his eyes lightly softened when you tilted your head, trying to lean against his arm for any form of skinship.

“come here, baby,” he mouthed to himself, his hand moving away from your breast and up to your face. you pushed your cheek to his palm then, yearning for his touch, and he could feel the warm huffs of your moan against his skin.

you looked like you were having fun, drowned in only pleasure as your back scratched against the desk because of chan’s increasing hard thrusts. god, even chan couldn't feign seriousness. how could he not? you felt so good; such delicious pressure around his cock you were giving him, and you were just so painstakingly small compared to him.

he felt like he was stretching you out all over again with every snap of his hips, your walls clenching around him every time he hit your insides deeply.

ignoring changbin's bitter gaze, which chan could feel burning at his skull, he leaned his body down to angle his thrusts better while his hands propped your feet up on the edge of the table. he pressed against the back of your thighs, throwing them over his shoulders and pulling you closer so he could move down, slightly pushing your legs to your chest as he got closer to you.

a fire burned at your rigid joints, the way your legs were being pressed against your chest reminding you just how inflexible you were, but the feeling was quick to fly beyond your head when chan started to roam his hands around your body, slowly lifting your shirt up until the fabric hit below your chin. changbin helped with removing your shirt, pulling it over your head as chan he cupped your breasts wordlessly, seemingly too concentrated on keeping up with his thrusting pace.

you were keeping your voice leveled, never too loud but not exactly silent since it was hard to have to stay silent when chan was thrusting into you and kissing your body up. but you managed with each heavy breath you let out with your fingers tugging at chan's locks. and every single time you whisper his name in that milky voice of yours, he gets a little needier.

at some point, chan started to speed up, his hips impatiently snapping into yours more mercilessly because of the excitement releasing in his abdomen, waiting for its final release. your eyes widened at the sudden change of pace, feeling your walls clenching down on him at it, which only made him want to move even more.

"mmm–fuck, chan," you huffed out in a hush, your eyes straining to look at the ceiling as your arms went around his neck. "ahh, shit!"

a particular thrust brought tremors to your legs, your feet slipping off his shoulder when your sweet spot got rammed into. chan could tell by the sudden stutter of your body that he had found your g-spot. he smiled, pushing your leg back up and holding it in place as he animalistically pushed himself against the spot, wanting you to break out a loud moan.

but, instead of hearing a slip of your tongue, a sudden loud moan that he anticipated to hear, all he heard was muffled noises. chan looked up from your chest with dissatisfaction, his brows furrowed in annoyance and completely ready to scold you for holding it in. but when he saw the obvious bulge in your throat, his features relaxed in acknowledgment.

changbin pushed himself further into your mouth when he saw chan watching. your oxygen got stolen out of you because of it, making you gag at how abruptly he had shoved his cock inside your mouth. he had been standing at your head for a while, his palm originally pressing against your cheek lovingly. it was like he has been waiting for it to happen, waiting for the exact moment he could put his dick in your mouth. and he found it when chan thrust into your sweet spot.

"what? i'm not gonna stand here and watch you two fuck," he shrugged at chan's irritated expression, nonchalantly moving in and out of your warm mouth. his hand reached under your chin to prop it up, pressing the top of your head down on the wooden desk. a grunt left his mouth when you groaned. "and this keeps her big fucking mouth quiet."

you whined, but the whine turned out into a violent cough when you sucked in the wrong breath. changbin's shaft brushed along your inner-cheek, an uncomfortable obstacle stuck between your teeth, rendering you breathless. god, was he this big back then? you couldn’t remember, you just knew he felt big now.

"well, i don't want her to be completely silent," chan retorted in a low growl, standing up slightly but still keeping your legs on his shoulders as he mindless rammed into you.

"she's isn't, you dumbshit. you can hear her sucking my dick."

"i don’t fucking want to hear that."

"huh, why not? i think she sounds angelic."

your messy, messy mind was being heavily overwhelmed. sensations were coming in all directions your body admist the two's argument. the two had unknowingly channeled their anger into strength, both their thrusts getting harder and faster as each of them get shot down by the other. it was almost painful—actually, it was painful, but it was euphorically painful.

the little stings across your skin where they grabbed without regard for their strength, the small burns of the corner of your mouth where changbin’s cock kept brushing past, and the soreness of your cunt as chan desperately fucked his frustration out on you; they were all good pain.

but the most alarmingly exciting part was that they weren't paying attention to you at all. the fact that those two were just nonchalantly fucking into you like you were some rag doll, like you were just some fucktoy built to become an accessory to the grudge chan and changbin held against each other was giving you such unbelievable lust, such unfathomable intensity!

you loved it. the pleasure and the pain, the bliss and the helplessness, the tears and the moans—you loved being disregarded and used like this. it turned you on, it turned you on so much.

the pleasure lasted as well as the bickering between chan and changbin. you kept your mouth and your legs open while letting the pleasure gather at your abdomen. juices slipped out of your cunt, drool dripped down the corner of your mouth, and tears flowed down your cheeks; dirty liquid rolled all over as your release approached with big, unpredictable steps.

it was approaching quickly, you could feel it. chan’s thrusts were staring to become erratic as well when you clenched around him for more. his hips stuttered, his eyes shifting away from changbin’s face as he lowered his head, a grunt leaving his lips as he propped a hand on the table and the other around your throat, forgetting that you’ve got a dick stuffed against it as he focused on his own pleasure.

you coughed at the sudden pressure of his hand as your eyes widened, your toes curling and your hands clenching into fists. more air was cut out of your airway at chan’s careful squeeze and your chest trembled at the light-heated, full, and stuffy feeling.

changbin did not help with this sudden rush of discomfort at all when he sped up his pace, your cough giving him the incentive to move faster so he could revive more friction from your warm mouth.

alright, they might have actually forgotten you were there and that you weren’t an actual fuck doll.

and you? you just wanted some air.

“mm–mmh–“ you whined out a little, your hand hitting the side of changbin’s thighs as your brows furrowed. you felt red all over, the heat burning up on your skin as you got pushed from both directions.

changbin didn’t seem to have received your cue as he continued to push himself into your mouth, his moans getting threateningly louder in this study room. chan, too, was unable to detect the flailing of your hands as you pulled at his chokehold. he continued to chase his own release, his mind occupied by the clenching of your cunt around his cock and failing to realize it was a mildly unsatisfying clench.

it was only when chan bottomed out in you again, his climax reaching his head and a curse leaving his lips loudly. possibly even loud enough to reach the library outside. the hot liquid sprouted from his tip, hitting your closed-in walls and making you all hot and bothered. your eyes rolled up at the warm feeling inside you, your head swimming towards its release simply because of the release chan spilled inside of you.

your back arched, causing your head to move, and changbin’s cock pushed straight toward your throat as you let out an uncontrolled whine, wanting nothing more than to let it all go. but the next second only bounced you back to square one, your release backing off upon your violent coughs as an itch strangled up your throat.

it was loud, like you accidentally choked on water, and the sound finally caused a stir outside the room that someone came knocking at the door.

changbin looked down at you, finally realizing the redness of your neck when chan let his hand go, immediately moving away at the shock of hearing a knock at the door. changbin pulled himself away as well, his mind in a frenzy as you curled yourself into a ball to focus on your breathing and getting the itch out the back of your throat.

he cursed. shit, was chan choking you when he got his dick lodged in your throat—shit, have you been breathing properly at all?

“oh shit, (name), are you okay–fucking bitch, can they stop knocking?“

chan cursed when another impatient knock came. he pulled his pants up quickly, buckling his belt back up in a fumble and pulling his hoodie over the waist of his pants to hide the untidiness. he turned to look at you, his eyes hardening at your messy state and his brain bursting in concern, but he forced himself to look at the door.

no, they would see inside. if he so much as move his body the wrong way, it would leave a gap to see inside. cursing under his breath again, he quickly tugged at the hem of his hoodie and brought it over his head, throwing it at changbin.

“cover her up,” he muttered before moving over to the door, his hand on the doorknob and waiting.

you winced in surprise when you felt a pair of hands around your body. changbin furrowed his brows at your reaction, his eyes growing apologetic at the tears that streamed down your face as he held your weak body up. carefully putting chan’s hoodie over your head, helping your arms into the sleeves, and pulling it over your wrinkled skirt.

chan watched with pursed lips as changbin gathered you into his arms, holding you up and sitting down on the chair. he placed you on his lap, partly to hide but mainly so he could hold you close to his chest, getting you to calm down. it was only then when he finally swung the door open, keeping the gap small and covering the inside of the study room with his body.

as chan dealt with the student outside, changbin kept you close to him, one hand rubbing your side while the other soft in your locks, his fingers brushing your scalp gently. he had no idea you were crying this hard, he had been too focused on himself the entire time that he has forgotten about your pleasure as well, and he felt immeasurable guilt because of it.

“i’m so sorry, my baby,” he kept muttering, pressing his lips to your forehead and soothing you down. “i’m sorry. did i hurt you? i’m sorry.”

you were able to catch up with yourself quickly. changbin’s voice was luring you back to tranquility, and your coughing has ceased long shortly before chan swung the door open. your body still trembled from soreness, but it wasn’t to an exaggerated amount that you would worry about. changbin didn’t seem to think that way, though, as he kept pressing you to him as he saw it as your need for more comfort.

“it’s okay–oh, my voice! haha,” you laughed out huskily, your voice a low, sore hum when you first spoke. clearing it a few times, you tried it out a couple more times before you nodded in approval at it clearness. “it’s okay, changbin. i’m fine… mostly. i did get into a coughing fit.”

“god, i’m so sorry. i lost control there, i’m really sorry,” he said, searching for your eyes. “i should have realized you were feeling uncomfortable.”

you sucked in a breath, your brows furrowing. come to think of it, you did feel discomfort, yes. you were glad that he acknowledged it, but you still felt like he should know it wasn’t the kind of discomfort he should put himself at fault for.

it wasn’t the discomfort you hated, it didn’t exactly make you itchy all over; if anything, you would welcome it under the circumstance that they could give you air when you asked for it.

you just needed some air, that was all, not for them to stop. and that was something a mutual system could easily provide for you three.

you blinked, leaving your head against changbin’s shoulder as he leaned his cheek against your head.

you three.

that came so naturally to you, it was almost surprising. come to think of it, it did seem like you couldn’t have one without the other when it came to chan and changbin. when you were with changbin, you thought about chan, and the vice versa happened as well. it was only when both of them were present within your mind that your pleasure was able to finally reach its full potential.

you hummed. how peculiar. looking over at chan, who was still standing by the door. his broad shoulder pressed between the door and the door frame, shielding the sight of you and changbin away from public eyes as he calmly talked the student into leaving you three alone for just a few more minutes. and your heart churned—chan, reliable and lovely chan, whom you love dearly.

turning your attention away, you glanced up at changbin, your forehead rubbing against the side of his jaw and your eyes closing with a smile. his touch was gentle as he held you as if he would break you again if he wasn’t careful.

it made your heart flutter; you doubted anyone has ever been so scared and regretful of laying a harmful touch on your body as he has shown to be. not even chan has been like this, you had to admit.

"it's okay, changbin," you told him softly. "i was having some fun there, actually. i think i discovered something i didn't know i like before."

"you did?" he asked, looking down at you after leaning away slightly.

you nodded with a hum, smiling at his somewhat relaxed expression. he heaved a sigh, relief rushing through him upon your assurance that you felt okay and that he hasn't hurt you. that was his priority now, keeping your content and comfort, he would keep that in mind forever.

"oh, thank god. but still, even though you happened to like it, i'm so sorry i did all that without knowing if you like that kind of things," he said, bringing his hand up to your face and brushing your tear-stained cheek with his thumb. "i will make sure to ask beforehand next time. i'm sorry, i love you."

changbin. so bold yet softer than ever, honest and sincere changbin, whom you weren't in love with yet, but you were so sure you would be in the future if time allows it.

you would end up loving them both. endlessly, unwaveringly, with both love and lust.

you threw a glance over at chan, your brows furrowing when you found that he was still stuck talking to the student. they were probably arguing at this point, but he made sure to keep the gap of the door as small as possible. you couldn't see the student talking to him, meaning they wouldn't be able to see you either.

good.

changbin widened this eyes when you sudden leaned in to kiss him, your weak body gaining a surprising amount of strength as you pushed yourself against his chest, clinging onto him. the startlement took over him for a moment until he responded to your kiss, his hand clutching your body and bringing you up to him.

without breaking away from him, you attempted to sit up. your hands held onto his shoulder and you pulled yourself, one leg going across his bare thighs and settling to the other side as you sat up to straddle his lap. changbin placed his hands on your waist, holding you steady and keeping you on top of him. his erected member poked against your bare core, your slickness teasing him with its warmth, and he groaned.

"(name), what are you doing?" he huffed out when you finally pulled away from his lips, your mouth moving down to pepper soft kisses and tiny bites down his neck.

you moved one hand down his body at his question, stopping until you found his hard member. you grinned to yourself, your fingers curling softly around it before you squeezed, rubbing up over his tip. changbin hissed, his eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling as you pumped him slowly, feeling his pre-cum leak over the gaps of your fingers.

you widened your eyes a little, the more you moved the more wetter your hand was. come to think of it, you did not feel any of it in your mouth when he was throat-fucking you a moment ago. how intriguing, you thought as you moved your hips to position his cock at your dripping entrance, hearing his gentle gasp when you lowered yourself onto him a little.

"i've been waiting for you to fuck me for so long, changbin," you pouted with a pause of your body, looking up from the nape of his neck at him. "chan hasn't even made me cum yet."

he squinted his eyes at you, amused and very happy about what you said. "and?"

you blushed a little. it was almost a calculative blush, like you knew he'd like it if you looked shy while saying such filthy things to him. smacking your lips together, you sat yourself even lower on his cock, letting a whimper out at the feeling while leaning close to him, purposefully putting on a lewd face as his cock stretched out your hole a little more.

"i can count on you to make me cum, can i?" you whispered at his face, looking straight into his eyes. bringing your essence-filled hand up to your face, your fingers coated with his glistening pre-cum, you maintained eye contact with him as you sucked your digits clean with exaggerated tongue movements. when you spoke between the smooches of your hand, your voice was whiny.

“please make me cum, changbin. make me feel good.”

he was more turned on than ever now; the hush of your whisper, the teasing of your hole, the way you were just all over him and begging him to fuck you. it was hot. he wanted to mess you up, he wanted to fuck you raw, until all you could about was him pounding into your stupid fucking hole.

fucking hell—you could not get hotter than this, could you? he felt like his heart would jump out of his mouth at any moment now, considering how his jaw was hung low at such audacity of you seducing him like you were in charge here, yet still desperately needing him to make yourself feel good anyway.

at the end of the day, you were just useless on your own. without a dick stuffed between your legs, without his cock pounding into you, you’d be nothing.

sparing a small glance over your shoulder, he smiled at the barely opened door before returning his attention to you. a flow of anticipation flooded into your brain when you saw the shadowy gleam in his eyes, filled with complete lust and nothing else. he planned to fuck you good, you just knew it.

you didn’t move when changbin grabbed your waist, chan's hoodie keeping his nails from digging into your soft skin, and when he slowly brought you down on his length, keeping a groan to himself as your warmth engulfed him fully, you closed your eyes to take in the full stretch, your hole although still sore but unable to stop the addiction of getting stuffed full.

"be quiet, princess," changbin whispered, pushing your body up slightly to make some room for himself, "someone is just at the door."

you gasped when he began to thrust up into you, his arms keeping you in place while he did all the work. you simply knelt on the chair, your thighs going sore as you took each impactful hit with forced silence and shut-tight eyes. your mind was going haywire, the friction sparking along your cum-filled walls creating more wetness at your entrance.

"ah... fuck, fuck–" you pursed your lips, your arms going around changbin's neck as your buried your face in the sleeves, muffling your tiny moans as you concentrated on the way his dick slipped in and out of you, hitting you deep with each thrust.

changbin kept his eyes on the door, careful yet relentless with his thrust. he even started to glare at chan's back at some point, wanting nothing more than for him to finally chase the student away. what the fresh hell was going on anyway? what was there to talk about?

just get it over with so he could fuck you properly, on the desk, and at a speed he wanted. keeping quiet like this felt impossible but he couldn't bring himself to stop either.

chan could almost feel the tension at his back he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. the girl in front of him has been asking to be let into the study room persistently while he kept going in circles, asking for a couple of minutes to clean up everything.

well, this would get nowhere.

shifting just the smallest bit, he turned his head behind his shoulder, glancing to see if you and changbin were packed up and ready to leave. the second he glanced back, he could only see changbin glaring straight at him, impatience laced in all parts of his face.

he frowned, his eyes moving down just enough to see changbin's cock disappearing into your cunt, and he closed his eyes. you two pieces of shit, you couldn't wait just a little more.

"fine," he muttered under his breath then, turning back to face the girl in front of him.

changbin raised a brow, his movement slowing down slightly when he watched chan slip forward. he tilted his head, ready to hide you from plain sight until chan sudden closed the door behind him, and changbin laughed.

how nice of chan to do this.

"seems like we don't have a lot of time," he hummed, making you pull away with a questioning gaze, your body moving down for more friction. changbin only smiled. "let's make this quick."

the next second was a flash. you got hoisted off his lap, his arms carrying your body from the chair to the desk where he laid you down and pushed your back against the surface again. changbin wasted no time to start moving, his hips snapping against yours at a hurried pace as his mouth lingered on the skin of your neck, sucking purple spots as if to claim you as his.

the pleasure built up quickly at the new, lovely pace. his tip kept hitting your sweet spot, stretching you out over and over, sending you waves and waves of tremors until your eyes started whitening with stars and you found yourself bucking your hips up for more.

the squelching sound echoed in your ears, chan's cum still hot and loaded inside your pussy, mixing in with your juices and coating all over changbin's cock. god, you'd feel so damn full if he releases inside you too, you could imagine the whiteness just leaking out of your used hole.

fuck, what a thought! and changbin was just getting off of watching your blissful expressions. your tiny body moving along with his thrusts, your collarbones peeking out of chan's oversized hoodie as if to tease him of the nakedness underneath. now add the image of your small tummy fucked full of his hot seeds—how sinfully immaculate.

"fuck–i'm close, changbin–please–" you panted, your hands finding their way to his arms and holding onto him as your legs widened for more. "more, more, please!"

changbin huffed out a laugh. you greedy bitch. if it wasn't for the urgency of this situation, he would slow down and make you properly beg for it. but for now, he picked up his pace, chasing your high with heavy and strong ruts into your pussy until your eyes rolled up and your back arched at your orgasm.

you tightened around changbin uncontrollably, causing him to moan out lowly as his hips stuttered. he pushed himself against you a few more times until he paused, his cock sprouting his cum all over your insides as well.

your body trembled at the cunningly pleasurable sensation, warm and fulfilling. all you could think about how good it felt and how much you wanted to feel it again. but you weren't allowed a lot of time to wind down as changbin quickly pulled you up and brought you down on the floor.

"woah! okay, hold on!” he exclaimed, grabbing onto your waist when your knees immediately buckled at the pressure on your feet. "can you walk, (name)?"

"ye–mmm," you furrowed your brows, looking down at your thighs and finding a trail of sticky white dripping down slowly.

changbin's mouth hung open. shit, maybe he shouldn't have released inside you. ahh, damn! if only he had the time to step back and admire the way it was all leaking out of you! what a waste, they would have to do this again soon to make up for it!

"you're gonna have to hold it in, baby," he only said, then he gestured to the floor. "wear your panties and shorts, we're getting out of here."

you opened your mouth to protest, but stopped when changbin went ahead to fix himself up quickly, not wanting to give chan more trouble. you listened to him then, moving over to grab your clothes and wearing them even with the uncomfortable stickiness against the fabric.

“here, your bag," he said softly, holding your bag out to you as you busied yourself with looking more presentable.

you grabbed your bag and wore it on your shoulder, then you looked up at him for approval. your eyes wide in questions and your chest still panting in exhaustion.

changbin laughed endearingly at your reddened, unsure face. it was fading back to a normal shade slowly, and he hoped people would suspect it was the pressure from a coughing fit instead of you being fucked in the study room. he reached out for your head, ruffling your hair and soothing it out more as he smiled with a nod of approval.

“good enough,” he said, his hand sliding off your head to your face. he pinched your cheek then, adoringly, and when his eyes caught the bruise at the base of your neck, he made no visible reaction to it. “come on, let’s get you to a restroom so you can clean yourself up.”

you looked at him, a calming sensation settling in your chest. the way changbin contrasted so much in personality when he is fucking you and when he isn’t never ceased to baffle you. but even then, even when his eyes were blown with lust and sin, you could still see the hidden sentimentality within him.

he didn’t know it, but you remembered the way he let you hold onto him when chan first started moving into you. you weren’t afraid, but he didn’t know that, and he responded to your vague request for more skinship. and you remembered he told you to come to him. he mouthed it, but you saw.

you felt like you loved him then, at that moment. and even more later when he cradled you in his arms, soft words mumbled against your hair and kissed planted on your forehead.

“i love you,” you blurted out, stopping him in his tracks. “i… i didn’t say it back a while ago. i don’t even know if you meant it but–uh, yeah.”

changbin looked at you, surprised yet very endeared. to be fair, he wasn’t sure if he seriously meant it when he said those three words. it could just be the impulse of the moment, the fact that he was guilt-riddled from making you feel even the slightest discomfort, paired with the fact that you were all he has been thinking about for weeks.

but he felt like he could grow to love you a lot if time allows it.

“but!” you pursed your lips at the difficult part. looking away from him, you turned to look outside the door and frowned. “i also… i also really love chan.”

changbin tilted his head to the side, his face dropping slightly. did you plan to tell him you loved chan more and thus, was giving him a rejection now? but it didn’t seem like you were rejecting him, though! you maintained eye-contact with him, determination filled your pretty eyes for reasons he couldn’t explain.

“what are you talking about?” he asked for clarification.

you sucked in a breath, slightly embarrassed. “i love you, and him.”

he nodded in contemplation, looking away as his thoughts swam around his head. it took him a while, but he seemed to understand you eventually. your point was that if they were to go through with the original plan, which was to make you pick one of them, you would not be able to do it, because like you said, you love both of them.

and changbin was open to that, which was a surprise to himself. but when he looked out the door, knowing that chan was standing on the other side, he didn’t feel as much devastation as he thought he would about the idea of being in a polyamorous relationship. was he absolutely sure about it? no, but would he be willing to try it out? yes.

“okay,” he said, holding his hand out to you in an attempt to show you his approval. he gestured his head toward the door after you hesitantly held his hand. “we still have to leave, though. i think chan’s had enough outside alone.”

“oh… yeah, okay,” you said, letting him drag you to the door.

“and about what you suggested,” he said when he held onto the doorknob, his grip tight. he looked at you, eyes soft and lips curled up faintly. “we can ask chan about it together, how about that?”

your eyes brightened in surprise, but most gladness that he didn’t think you were weird for being in love with two people at once. he should not be, but you still had your concerns and frustrations about the unpredictable responses you could get. you smiled at him, a grin so wide he almost wanted to smooch it off your face.

“yeah, let’s ask him together,” you said.

and when changbin swung the door open, revealing chan with a somewhat annoyed expression, you felt less scared.

#stayhavennet #stayverse #inkidz #stray kids dark hours #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz dark hours #changbin smut #bang chan smut #seo changbin smut #chan smut

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freddiekluger · 4 years

Text

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit.

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad?

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on).

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans.

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious.

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive.

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman.

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend????

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t.

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

#i subluxed all my fingers and wrists doing this but worth it #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #bbc ghosts analysis #the captain #caphavers #the captain x havers #ben willbond #lgbt representation #lgbt rep #queer media #lgbt media

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writing-imagines · 4 years

Text

“A Late Night Walk, Talk and Kiss” A Cassie Howard imagine

Possible warnings: swearing, mention of Cassie being slut shamed, mention of divorce

Parties were never really your thing. Even in grade school, you hated the idea of sitting in a room with people you didn’t know that well and celebrating something. High school parties were no exception even with your best friend there.

“Are you having a good time?” Lexi asked over the blaring music and other loud conversations.

“I’m not having a terrible time, but I wouldn’t say I’m having a good time either. You know how I feel about parties.”

“I know. I just thought maybe it would do you some good to actually socialize for once.”

“I socialize a lot. You’re just not there to see it all the time.”

“Texting Rue while hanging out with me does not count as a lot of socializing.”

“Of course it does. You’re just jealous I have other friends.”

“No, it-oh, hey Rue.” You turned your attention from Lexi to a very angry Rue.

“Gia is hanging out with Troy. I need your help, Lexi.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back, y/n.” Lexi quickly jumped up, causing her Bob Ross wig to bounce, and followed Rue into the other room.

So, there you sat alone on Kat’s couch watching everyone dance around in their Halloween costumes. You had to admit that although most of your classmates had the intelligence of a worm, they had pretty cool costume ideas. Even though you enjoyed people watching (and a few drinks), you were tired and it was getting close to your curfew. Figuring Lexi would be a while, you made a mental note to text her that you left rather than trying to find her again. You quickly finished your drink before getting up and making your way to the front door. Just a few steps away from the door, you were stopped by some guy dressed as a zombie.

“Hey, you hang out with Lexi, right?”

“Uhh...sometimes, yeah?”

“You know where she would be?” While contemplating telling this strange man where one of your closest friends were, you noticed a girl who looked like Cassie storm past and out the front door.

“Uh...she already went home.”

Before he could say another word you pushed passed him and jogged out the door. Sure enough, Cassie was walking down the street in her Alabama Worley outfit. If it were anyone else, you probably would have let them walk away. But you couldn’t let your best friend’s sister walk alone at night.

“Cassie! Cassie, wait up!” You called out as you ran towards her. She looked over her shoulder and stopped walking when she realized who you were.

“What do you want, y/n?”

“I saw you run out of the party. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Judging from the mascara streaks down her face, Cassie defiantly wasn’t okay.

“Thanks. I just...” Cassie let out a sigh and visibly faught back tears.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Let’s just get you home, okay?” Cassie let out a sniffle and nodded her head.

“Okay.”

Cassie started walking again and you followed distantly beside her. You two weren’t necessarily close, but Cassie was nice to you anytime you hung out with Lexi or stayed the night at their house. Of course, you would be lying if you said you didn’t have a tiny crush on her, after all, she was one of the few girls in town who were beautiful and had a great personality. It broke your heart to know that most people overlooked her personality and just focused on her looks. You were pulled out of your thoughts when a sharp breeze blew past you, making Cassie shiver.

“Here. Take my sweater.” You stopped walking and carefully pulled the sweater over your head. Cassie looked at the sweater for a moment before taking it from you.

“Thanks. I guess I should have worn a warmer outfit.” Cassie quickly put the sweater on and enjoyed the warmth. You couldn’t explain why, but seeing Cassie in your clothes nearly made your brain short circuit. Cassie continued walking while you tried to form senerences.

“I like your costume. True Romance is a great movie.”

“You’ve watched True Romance?”

“Yeah, like a hundred times. I took a film class at my old school and for my final project I analyzed it.”

“I didn’t know you went to another school.”

“Yeah. I lived in Colorado before my parents got divorced. Life was pretty good there, but I defiantly like it better here.” You could tell the alcohol was defiantly hitting since you never really talked about your past with anyone.

“Really? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this town sucks. Everyone is in everyone’s business.”

“It’s like that in most towns though. Unless you live in a major city or out in the middle of nowhere.”

“I want to live in a huge city someday. Like so big no one can track me down or-” Cassie stopped talking and let out a sigh, leaving you confused.

“Or?”

“Or know me for my nudes.”

In that moment you froze. When you first moved to town there had been talk about some girl’s nudes being sent around. It wasn’t until you started school that you were able to put a face and name to the rumor. You saw how everyone would watch her walk by then whisper horrible things about her and it killed you, especially when you became friends with Lexi.

“I haven’t seen them. I think it’s really fucked up that people spread them around.” You looked from the road to Cassie. She had an almost hopeful look in her eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I avoided them at all costs.”

“Thanks. That actually means a lot. Most people in this town have seen them and judge me. Do you know how many people see me as a brainless slut?”

“No, I don’t.”

“All the guys in this town think that. That’s why I left Kat’s party. You know Daniel, right?”

“Unfortunately, yes I do.”

“He told me I was boring and anyone who is interested in me in lying because I’m only good for sex.” You stopped dead in your tracks, causing Cassie to stop too.

“Are you serious? He actually sad that to you?”

“Yeah, he did. But don’t worry about it. Daniel has always been a dick.”

“Fuck him. You’re such an amazing person, Cassie. Do you want me to beat him up? I’m non-confrontational ninety nine percent of the time, but I will go back to that party beat the shit out of him for talking to you like that.”

“Easy, killer. He’s just another stupid boy, it’s okay. Come on, let’s keep walking.”

Cassie held your hand and the two of you kept on your walk. You couldn’t deny that you liked the feeling of holding her hand. You kind of wished the walk wouldn’t end, but you figured it was just the alcohol talking. After a few more minutes of walking you found yourself at Cassie’s doorstep, still holding her hand.

“Thank you for walking me home and listening to me. I really appreciate it.”

“It was my pleasure. I wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

“Are you going to make it home safe?” She asked with a grin since you only lived three houses down.

“I don’t know. It’s a pretty long walk. I could die of exhaustion.”

“Maybe this will help you.” Cassie let go of your hand and leaned forward to kiss your lips. You swore you were going to pass out right then and there.

“Y-Yeah. I think that’ll keep me going.” That made her grin and let out a small laugh.

“I’m glad. Goodnight, y/n.”

“Goodnight, Cassie.”

You stepped off her doorstep and made it a few feet away before she called out for you again.

“Hey, what about your sweater?”

“Keep it. It looks better on you anyway.”

Even though you were a few feet away, you could still see the blush across Cassie’s face. You couldn’t fight the smile that crept across your face either, so you continued your short walk home.

When you finally made it inside you allowed yourself to breathe since Cassie kissed you. Part of you wondered if the whole walk home was a dream and that you would wake up any moment with a broken heart. That moment never came though. Instead, you fell asleep with Cassie on your mind.

#cassie howard #cassie howard x reader #cassie howard x female reader #cassie howard x male reader #euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria hbo imagine #cassie howard imagine #mentions of #lexi howard #rue bennett #requested #sydney sweeney

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dreaminae · 3 years

Text

We All Need The One Friend

Chapter 15

Sure, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also drives the brain aloof. Or so, that was Liv's take on her current situation. Almost four weeks went by since the big family dinner blowout where Billy and Jordan learned of Liv's drinking. Four weeks since her father's overwhelming disappointment swallowed Olivia whole with a growing fear of being sent away for help once more. Four weeks since her fear led to Liv, running away for help from the one person who she hadn't been in contact with for months -- her sponsor. And four weeks since Liv was giving a large wake-up call when she found her former sponsor behind bars for attempting to steal from her very own parents.

That night Olivia saw what could be her possible future if she didn't receive proper treatment while she still had the chance. Despite her fear of being sent away, she returned home after hours of dodging calls and texts from her loved ones. She walked into her home ready to accept the help, no matter the consequences. And perhaps that why fate played into her hands.

Fore when Olivia returned home, she found both her parents welcomed her with open arms, simply content that she was alright. Following the long night, Liv was surprised to find her family already with a suitable compromise. Instead of shipping her away, Billy and Laura decided upon an intensive program that allowed Liv to remain at home while she recovered.

Later into that evening, Spencer dropped by for what they both knew would be their last moment together for a long term. Acknowledging that they both had things to work on, they agreed to delay their romance until they were both in a good place to be together for real. They weren't breaking up or taking back the feelings they once declared. No, they were -- as Liv put it that night -- 'playing the long game'. Sealing their goodbye with a heartfelt kiss, they parted ways.

Focused on her recovery, Olivia found a new sponsor and confidant in Nurse Joy. Admitting her dependency upon Alcohol, and accepting responsibility for falling off the wagon, Olivia began her road to recovery. Meanwhile, Spencer centered his time on football and plotting his plan to bring Crenshaw a state championship.

Ignoring their constant desire to be together they cut off all physical communication, choosing to stick to the everyday messages to check in on one another. It wasn't until the night of Jordan's second concussion they were able to be in each other's arms.

Utilizing each other as helping shoulder through damaging announcement of Jordan's future in football, they found comfort in their buried affections. Having each other's back when Simone dropped the marriage reveal, Spencer and Liv supported each other when confronted by Billy and Laura.

The secret marriage only adding to Liv's troubled life as Laura grounded her into the next century for her deceit. Life toppled their trivial matter with the death of Tamika, shaking Olivia's inner social justice warrior to its full-frontal.

From leaking footage of Tamika's wrongful death to protesting for the indictment of the guilty officers, Liv found something bigger to be a part of. Her best intentions leading to backfire as Laura took the heat of alleged bigoted D.A. Learning to accept her mistakes, Liv tried to make the best of a complicated issue.

She and Kia's devotion to cause, sparking Spencer to follow suit, persuading his team to take a knee during their most important game. Inspiring by the Crenshaw team their opponents took a knee in protest. As a result of more football teams following Crenshaw's players in taking a knee, Crenshaw was granted another shot at the state championship.

Everything seemed to play into Liv and Spencer's hands, except the main thing they both desired since summer. It was all in a matter of timing, and they both couldn't help but anticipate when that moment would finally arrive.

So when they found themselves planning a surprise party in honor of Spencer's mom earning her college degree, the anticipation rose to a new peak.

"So no gouging out my eyes?" Liv playfully joked, allowing herself to make a joke of the foolish comments people were making about her online.

Spencer scoffed as if insulted. "What, those pretty eyes? You crazy." His eyes drifted from the direction of her eyes to her lips.

Olivia smiled softly as he quickly shifted back to their original conversation, unsure if now was the right time for them to share that type of moment. "You gon' help me fix this came or what?" He questioned with a crooked grin.

"Yes," Liv replied with a cheeky grin as she hopped from her seat, wondering how long he'd wait to make a move.

The next hour and a half flew by with them baking the cake while making basic small talk to catch up with one another. They discussed Liv's daily meeting with nurse joy and how her recovery was coming. Liv caught Spencer up on Jordan's everyday hobbies since his time away from football, while Spencer tried his best not to admit to Liv that he was aiding in Jordan's desire to return to football. Their topics switched until they circled back to Spencer's upcoming game against Westlake, and how Olivia punishment lifted just in time for her to come see him play.

"You'll be my personal cheering section." Spencer goofed as he iced the bare cake.

"Of course. I'll be decked in your jersey number and sporting Crenshaw colors all night." Liv giggled, imaging herself ornamented in Spencer James merchandising. "I'll be shouting the loudest. Go, Spencer! Kick some Westlake ass!" She shouted cheerfully, causing Spencer to chuckle.

"And what about I finish kicking Westlake's ass?" He wondered aloud. "Do I get a prize?" He inquired with a lifted brow.

"You'll have won the state championship for Crenshaw and saved your school. What more could I give you?" Liv snickered, sipping her lemonade.

"I can think of a few things." Spencer flirted causing Liv's cheeks to redden as she swallowed her refreshment.

The knocking of the front door interrupted their flustered juncture. "I'm should...um..you know..."

"Don't worry, I will still be here when you get back." He chuckled towards her rattled nature.

He frosted the cake as Liv dealt with a package delivery on behalf of the coach baker. Shortly after leaving the package in the living room, she rrutrned. Her reserved nature now contained after she took a moment to compose herself.

She returned to the kitchen with more pep in her step resolved with knowing that the moment she and Spencer both delayed was finally arriving, and all she had to do was lead it.

Eyeing Spencer with a twinkle in her eye she cheekily leaned over close to his direction, dipping her finger in the canned frosting. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" She inquired sassily, catching his attention as she strutted a few feet around the counter.

"Girl, you know I got skills." He responded cockily, earning a snicker from Liv as she shut the refrigerator to from putting leftover baking ingredients.

"Hey, I was thinking that we should have that graduation won't playing at my mom's party," Spencer suggested, humming his ideal tune aloud.

Olivia listened to the tune with a puzzled expression. "Umm, that's the wedding song."

Spencer eyed her strangely, confused as to how he got the two melodies muddled.

Giving him a sympathetic grin, Liv rubbed his arm, comforting him. "Hmm, you'll get it." She laughed as Spencer twisted his face in slight embarrassment. "It's okay." She added jokingly.

Rolling his eyes, Spencer gestured down to the finished cake. "Well, what do you think?"

Liv analyzed the frosted cake, impressed by how well it came out. "It's good." She complimented with growing suspicion. "Like really good." She added, smirking at Spencer. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Maybe like once for my moms birthday..." He dragged out, sensing that his cover was blown as he smiled crookedly. "And maybe all of Dillion's birthdays." He admitted, redhandedly causing Olivia to laugh.

"Alright, you caught me." Spencer chuckled, then grew serious. "N'all but, I just wanted to get your mind off everything." He confessed wholeheartedly, hating the low amounts of times he witnessed a real smile from Liv over the last few weeks.

"You did," Olivia assured him, touched that Spencer went found the energy to help her through the day's mess, even though she was meant to be helping him today. "You made me feel a lot better." She added, wanting him to know that his intentions were highly effective.

Spencer simply nodded, content to help in any way he could.

Liv smiled thinking back to how their last few hours together reminded her of the summer they spent together. No matter if it dumb shows or extended time at the mall shopping, Spencer remained glue to her hip just to make Liv happy. If he noticed she was having a bad day, he'd make a stupid joke to make her laugh. When she felt alone and needed someone to talk to, Spencer spent hours on the phone with her. When she felt like crumbling, he was always the rock that steadily held her up.

"You've done that before too." Olivia slipped out, letting her affection take over. Her eyes darted to his with a knowing twinkle.

Spencer observed her stature, finding Olivia in control and sure of herself. She beamed gently with a slight tilt of her head as if waiting to see what he would do next. She wanted to know if he still wanted her, and this was her way of conveying her yearning for him. With an assured confirmation that she was ready, Spencer took this as his cue.

Without saying another word he walked towards Liv, ready to give in to their passions. His head tilted in the opposing direction of Liv's as they both leaned in to close the small space between them.

However, right when their lips were about to meet Spencer's phone buzzed. Spencer grunted under his breath, annoyed by the bad timing, but reached for his phone nonetheless. Liv sucked in a tight breath, frustrated by another halted moment.

Remaining with barely an inch separating them, Liv took matters into her own hands. Literally.

"Spence," Liv mumbled, topping the hand that held his phone with the palm of her hand to gain his attention. His phone continued to buzz, as Spencer gave Olivia his awareness. "Yeah."

"It'll still be there afterward." Liv sighed with an unsure smile, gently pulling his phone out of hand. Her finger dragged across the screen, rejecting the call. "But I'm right here. Right now." She remarked, locking eyes with him, lust emitting from her own. "And I don't know about you but I'm tired of waiting." She snickered sassily, earning a smirk from Spencer.

Liv eyes danced from Spencer's brown orbs, falling to his lips, then back to his eyes. Cupping his face, she brought his lips to hers for a kiss that was weeks in the making.

#3x07 #all american #olivia and spencer #olivia baker #spelivia #spencer and olivia #spencer james #All America 3.14

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stormbornbastard · 4 years

Text

The Potential In Philoise

gif credit: @vakariaan

tw/ sexual assault, abuse, depression, suicide, julia quinn’s writing

AN: Okay, so I said awhile ago I would explain why Phillip and Eloise are my favorite couple in the series so get ready...it’s a bit of a long one.

I read four Bridgerton books immediately after the show ended. Skipping over The Duke and I because I wasn’t comfortable with the assault scene between Simon and Daphne and also because I had already seen the romance play out onscreen. I fell in love with each romance I encountered, mainly because I didn’t read them as they were but as the show would make them out to be. I romanticized a romance series as weird as that sounds. Yet, none of the romances struck me the way To Sir Phillip, With Love did.

It’s not a perfect book. In fact, it's incredibly problematic. Phillip rapes his depressed wife, Marina (although given Julia’s history with crossing the lines of consent I doubt this is the way she wanted us to interpret the scene. Actually, the way it was written made it seem like we were meant to sympathize with Phillip and his loveless marriage. Hence the way he immediately grows ill afterward.) Marina attempts suicide and dies due to disease later on. Given her storyline in the show and the fact that a young biracial woman is playing her was disheartening, to say the least.

(AN: I don’t consider the character to be Black representation, she’s biracial. As a black woman who enjoyed her character and arc, no part of me felt seen and represented through her because she was half black. She's Biracial rep, not Black rep and that’s okay. Just putting that out there. )

Phillip seeks a woman to take care of his children, fuck and do the shit he doesn’t want to do. His mental illness is handled in such a shitty way. The independent nature Eloise once has is almost stifled by Phillip and what he wants for some reason. He’s neglectful, erratic and he does dismiss potential negative feelings Eloise could have in their relationship because of his past relationship.

It's fucked up. The entire book.

And yet, imagining how this problematic romance would play out on screen once properly adapted for modern audiences makes me fucking giddy. All because of one, simple thing that remains the reason I am so fucking excited to see this pairing onscreen.

The unrealized potential the pairing and Phillip as a character have in the novel.

Let me explain.

Their romance is unique. Phillip and Eloise are not strangers when they meet. They’ve been writing to each other for months, picking each other’s brains every week or so. Getting to know each other in a way that other couples in the series don’t at first. Intellectually. They’re able to keep such a steady, enthralling dialogue through letters, and it's a friendship that they both enjoy. Phillip stimulates Eloise’s mind, something the show has emphasized her wanting, for months. He’s her intellectual equal, or at least...he has the potential to be. Of course, he slaves over the letters (which is cute as fuck because he really just wants her to like him) but it's still his words. It’s his voice. It is Phillip, at his best.

I hope the show can play this up. Phillip is a botanist and a scholar before he inherits his family’s estate. Eloise has a desire to learn and further her knowledge of the world around her. Bonding over their shared love of education, fun banter based around teasing the other and their individual studies, taking an interest in what the other desires to learn. Reading books together in the greenhouse, etc. The show could easily play up the fact that Phillip was not only a gardener but a literal man of science, something Julia neglects in their book despite it having the possibility of playing a major factor in their love story.

The possibilities of it just...makes me swoon.

Moving on, Eloise choosing to pursue a possible future with this man is a big fucking deal. Running away from home to go after a future for herself IS her displaying her OWN agency. Sure, Phillip poses the question of it but she’s the one who chooses it. Phillip doesn’t demand her to come to him, he simply suggests it and she’s the one who acts. The one who pursues. And if they hadn’t been bombarded by her brothers, it would’ve remained her choice of whether or she wanted to be a part of this man’s life permanently.

Phillip wouldn’t have forced her, he could’ve easily tried to. By going to the Bridgerton house and discussing with Anthony the possibility of marrying her but no, he asks her. HE ASKS HER AND SHE CHOOSES. I fucking love that. It's like the bare minimum but given the time period and the number of couples where the man has the final say on the marriage, this just makes me giddy. The show could change this and give Eloise more time with Phillip to the point where she chooses him and isn’t forced into the marriage which I hope they do.

Also, their first meeting where neither one of them is what the other expects sounds amazing ngl. The initial confusion, shock, unease, and undeniable attraction, it's gonna serve why lie?

Despite how much it affects him, the subject of Phillip’s abuse is handled so...wrong. As someone who shares an experience with abusive parents, I understand the fear of becoming like them. Of hurting the ones you love and being angry and feeling guilty. Yet, Phillip never confronts these fears. Not really. Sure, we get the scene in the nursery but thinking of how the show could handle it and his relationship with his children makes me excited. Having him being neglectful of his children was the wrong move, especially if his fear is hurting them in an attempt to discipline them. It's clear he loves them and ultimately wants the best for them which is why he’s searching for someone to better take care of them despite the shitty bitch he already has hired. I hope the show capitalizes on that.

Have Phillip be involved but not a disciplinary figure. Yeah, I get that he’s the man or whatever but it's clear that Phillip finds no enjoyment in the act or even pondering it. But he does love his kids. Have him be overwhelmed but still involved. It just felt weird that Phillip didn’t want anything to do with his kids despite one of his main reasons to look for a wife was so that they could be properly taken care of. Have him try but struggle. A lot.

It’d be funny to see Oliver and Amanda running the house and Phillip struggling to keep up. They’re supposed to be mischievous, they should play that up in the show. Having the kids be little gremlins but instead of him ignoring them completely, he could just give in to their whims. And when his anger does get the best of him, then he could run. Be distant, wrestle with his internal struggle with abuse but also knowing he can’t let his kids run his household like this and go about as reckless as they do.

Speaking of abuse, I hope they scrap the nursery lady altogether. I know it’s supposed to show him stepping into dad mode but it just felt like unnecessary and triggering of his own child abuse. He could easily step into this role by learning to deal with his anger, learning to control it. Eloise could suggest journaling the way she does (another bonding moment that could be less cute and more intimate if done right.) Having him put his anger into gardening, I interpreted it as it being a safe place and coping mechanism for him in the book and that would be nice to see.

Having to finally put an end to his kids' tirade once he learns to trust himself and realize that he’s nothing like his father. Actual healing from childhood trauma and Eloise helping him do so. She could also suggest boxing with her brothers like...it just makes sense. As someone with a temper, boxing helped me sort through that and the opportunity to see Phillip and Simon bonding, while boxing, over their shitty dads, sounds pretty fucking cathartic (and hot).

I would just like the show to truly show that just because you’ve dealt with abuse doesn’t mean you have to be defined and like your abuser. Phillip is a pretty great candidate for it because the guy is...scarred, to say the least.

I love the physical side of Phillip and Eloise’s relationship. Like really love, it's said that they try different things and are comfortable in that regard with each other and it just...yeah, that makes me happy. Besides that, I hope they play up the intellectual side of their relationship. Two nerds in love are adorable and imagining Phillip ranting about plants and Eloise just being completely enthralled at this man and his passion sounds like the cutest fucking shit.

Speaking of intellectual, it's implied Phillip cares little about high society. Meaning, wouldn’t he care even less about societal expectations and norms? Meaning Eloise would literally find freedom with this man to just...do her. Despite the book showing how Phillip wants a wife, it never really says that he cares exactly how that wife maintains herself or their household. Eloise wants to fuck around and wear trousers? He doesn’t care. Eloise wants a private tutor and a study for herself? Cool. Eloise wants to take Amanda riding in the forest and then teach her how to shoot? All good. The man was literally proud to watch her beat her brothers in a traditionally masculine sport. He wants his wife to run his house and his entire life how she sees fit.

Julia really neglected how much agency and power that could give Eloise. She could be his equal, like really be his equal. Of course, Phillip becoming more involved in his and his children’s lives is a part of his arc but nothing leads me to believe he would want to control Eloise. The two of them being more than just lovers, but partners who allow the other their freedoms when needed sounds epic as shit.

Now some things that could easily be left out, the rape scene. It’s there to showcase that Phillip has lost his wife and there is no chance of reigniting whatever they may have had in the past. Yet, there are so many other ways to show that. Phillip could try and speak with her with no response. Hold her hand and she pulls away? He’s a smart man, it doesn’t take much to get the hint so that could’ve easily been written out and replaced with something else.

Second of all, I like the possibility of Marina and Phillip finding happiness at first. Of them trying to love each other after George and succeeding. The way Marina is written in the show, I doubt she’s quick to give up. So to see the two of them having an agreeable marriage and getting along would be nice. They could showcase her mental illness in a different form, it's clear she suffers from postpartum depression. She withdraws into herself, distances herself from her children. She’s depressed but it's not as stereotypical and easily spotted as Julia makes it out to be. Marina just gives up on her children and life without any fight? Absolutely not.

As someone who suffers from depression, the way Julia wrote it is so...??? The truth is, I would like Phillip and their family to not even realize she’s suicidal. To not see it coming when she jumps in the lake and attempts to end her own life because that's exactly how suicide impacts so many people and their loved ones. They don’t see it coming. Phillip struggling with the guilt of that rather than the anger of being trapped in a loveless marriage sounds...a lot more interesting to me. Me, personally. Considering how much buzz the show has, it would spark up a dialogue and a good one if handled properly. I’ve thought a lot about Marina but this is just how I would prefer to see it handled if they go through with her canon death (which I am not actively rooting for by the way.)

Another reason I like the potential of Philloise is Oliver and Amanda, they just add some extra spice. If fully realized characters, watching them grow closer to their dad and form a relationship with Eloise would be so rewarding for two kids who have lost a lot. Also, the amount of comedic gold in their pranks with Eloise and dynamic with each other would give the season even more humor on top of Eloise herself.

And as much as I love the line, “this-us-is heaven.” They could easily modify the love speech. Like very easily.

My point is, I think their potential outweighs the problematic factors in their story and I doubt the show will fail on realizing it and ridding itself of the problematic aspects. One could even say they already started, I mean look at the way the show made a point to show Eloise’s disgust with fathers and husbands who abandon their family, and then comes Phillip, doing the absolute most to protect his remaining family. I mean, Bridgerton did turn the weakest romance in the series into a whole pop culture phenomenon. My hopes are high. Okay, that’s all.

#this is long as hell #my bad #eloise x phillip #phillip crane #eloise bridgerton #philoise #philloise #my babies #i love them #i cant wait for their season #to sir phillip with love

59 notes · View notes

hooniee · 4 years

Text

— ꒰‧⁺ maple tree*ೃ༄

↷ ni-ki x reader ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷ genre: fluff | romance⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷ warnings: not proofread! | none! ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷ synopsis: almost getting squished by a freshman boy falling out of a tree, might have made your monday morning turn around ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷author note: hi guys! this is for @enhypenwriters event! strangers to lovers <3 this was one out of three i wrote and this was one i wasn’t satisfied with but it was a cute idea (or at least i think so!) please enjoy! ⋯ ♡ᵎ

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*

monday morning was unmistakably not on your team. from your charger being broken and leaving your phone dead to your wicked idiot brother consuming the last slice of toast, you were not a festive person.

"i'm heading out idiot, don't be late," you shout at your brother who just replies with an 'okay!'

rummaging around your jacket pocket, you pull out a granola bar that was half-eaten from the other day and scarfed it down.

definitely a bit stale, but you were appreciative nonetheless.

you arrive at the bus stop and take a seat, enjoying the scenery. one of your favorite destressers in the hectic mornings.

arriving at school, you hasten your steps with five minutes remaining.

'mr.kim is going to mark me absent for the seventh time this month.'

fortunately, this was the only good thing going for you today.

you exhault in relief and take out your materials for math class as you mentally adjust yourself for the long day ahead.

this day couldn’t get any more tiring.

from an exhausting morning, your lunch period comes to rescue you from starvation.

you head outside to your usual place beneath the maple tree in the courtyard, with your sandwich and chocolate milk.

taking a mouthful of your sandwich, you draw out the scarlett letter from your bag to relish in the meantime

profoundly absorbed in your book, you didn't recognize that a boy is sitting on a tree branch right overhead you.

he didn’t mean to stare down but it was the first time he had seen you.

he would admire you from a distance until mother nature said ‘no’

CRACK

there was the familiar sound of a snapping branch and you managed to glance up and duck it just in time to see a mop of blonde tresses right next to you.

the blonde hair boy instantly rose up and dusted himself off, clearing his throat, pretending that nothing had happened.

you were still flustered at the out of the blue fall. you place your book facing down, marking the page where you left off.

“a-are you okay? that was a pretty high fall,” glimpsing at the maple tree and back to him.

you have never seen this guy. he was tall and lean with milky skin and blond hair that touched his harmonious brown eyes.

the gaze he held on you was interesting.

navy blue nametag, an underclassman

“don’t worry princess, i’m alright. i've had worse” he returns with a wink.

a simple wink was enough to send a rush of blood to your cheeks.

'what a flirty freshman, wasn't he just embarrassed a couple of seconds ago? 360 change'

“if anything hurts, just go to the nurse. please be careful,” you say instantaneously, attempting to flee quickly.

he doesn't need to see the powerful blush on your cheeks that won’t leave.

a tug of your wrist sticks you in place. he spins you around to confront him but the grass appeared to be more appealing.

there's a moment of silence before he asks. “...are you blushing?”

your brain was internally smashing your head against a book.

“no i am just not used to a freshman guy falling from the sky. don’t flatter yourself, i have standards.” you spit out.

"i didn't even mention anything about myself, i just asked if you were blushing," he smirks at you, feeling boastful.

how did you just betrayed yourself?

“whatever! now if you don’t mind, i’ll be going now. i’m late.”

neglecting your book and food, you hastily grab your bag and head out to your following class.

he chuckles to himself, finding your flustered demeanor adorbale. he looks down at where you sat.

"hey! you forgot your-" the freshman exclaims but you had left and no traces of your silhouette could be found.

he bends down, plucking your book and analyzing it for any name.

'you would definitely be back for this' he thought to himself.

peeping at your un-opened chocolate milk, he looks around before snagging it.

"free milk for me," he hums to himself.

you, on the other hand

you aspired to punch yourself for three purposes.

one, you forgot your food and you were perishing.

two, your book was gone

three, that damn freshman.

you were too ashamed to show your face infront of him. not when he caught you profusely blushing from a wink.

for the next few days, you dodge your usual spot and lingered in the library instead.

that method came to an end because you didn't realize how many OVER affectionate couples occupied the library.

you had mentally battled with yourself, forgetting to pay attention in classes.

'there was a chance he wasn't going to be there'

'but there's also a possibility that he'll be there"

you decided to convince yourself that he wouldn't be there. you craved not being shoved in a cubicle and have couples make out in your favorite book isles.

the next day you head to the maple tree and before you sit, you glance at the encompassing areas.

you didn’t see any traces of a lanky, blonde boy near the tree or IN the tree.

and assuming the coast was clear, you relax.

the previous book you were reading was nowhere to be seen so you brought a new book, frankly in love

you plug in headphones to tune out and you immersed yourself into the book. after a few minutes, your earbud comes out or more specifically, taken out.

you look up and nearly screamed. the freshman boy was dangling off the tree with your right earbud in hand. barely an inch away from your face.

this was the closest anybody has been to your face and you tried not to make any sudden movements.

“what are you doing?” you furrow your eyebrows at the boy hanging. he flashed you a radiant smile that put the sun out of business before jumping down, landing smoothly.

your cheeks became warm again, grasping that you were gradually falling for this freshman you didn't know the name of.

“sorry! i just wanted to talk to you” he cheekily said, “nice blush”

“that's fine i guess? AND i'm not blushing, i was just startled,” you avoid eye-contact.

he playfully rolls his eyes before extending his hand to you with your book.

"i believe this is yours?" the boy returns you the book you rummaged for.

your eyes widen, realizing that he had the book the whole time.

"oh my gosh! i was looking for this everywhere," you blurted.

you look at him and he smiles.

you fall back into being stiff. you had never been this anxious under someone's gaze until you met him.

this time, you tried to kindle a conversation.

“why do you want to talk to me?” you ask curiously.

you had never had someone excited to talk to you like this. you were wishing that his interest was genuine.

he pauses to consider a bit, placing a finger to his chin.

“you’re interesting and i want to get to know you more, toto” he hums and you're perplexed by the suddenly calling.

'toto? that's new'

“toto? that’s not my name, why are you calling me that?” you tilt your head.

you didn't know what was weirder, the nickname or the freshman aspiring to get to know you.

“don’t worry about it,” he smiles,

"why are you alone out here? shouldn't you be eating in the canteen?” he settles next to you.

for the first time, you locked eyes with him and it was dangerous. you could get lost in his eyes if you gazed for too long.

“because i want to, what is with the Q&A? are we playing twenty questions?” you sneer.

this freshman recognized how to push the right buttons to make you flustered at the precise moments.

“maybe, or is it a date?” he answered

you just choked on your own saliva and you hoped he didn't catch that.

it grew quiet and he stared at you with a fixed gaze. feeling awkward, you shove the other earbud into his ear.

he flinches from the abrupt contact but loosens and smiles, recognizing the song that resonated from your earbuds.

“toto, is this she’s in the rain by the rose?” he gasps.

it shocked you because not many people know this band.

“yeah, you know the rose? this is my favorite song from them” you flash a smile, feeling content.

'something in common, maybe he's not so bad'

you both softly sway together, occasionally bumping shoulders.

"nishimura riki," he says.

you didn't catch what he said, "hm?"

"nishimura riki is my name, but you can call me ni-ki," he smiles at you.

"(y/n) (l/n), (y/n) sunbae to you," you laugh.

"what if i called you mine instead?"

[the nickname toto, came from tomato! the reader blushes easily and ni-ki is quick to notice, rebranding her as toto <3]

96 notes · View notes

jj-ktae · 4 years

Text

Note II - Aldehydes

Moodboard : Courtesy of the lovely Jacqueline @jaebeomsmullet ! Thank you for helping and hyping and just being here whenever I need it.

› Title : Fragrances › Genre : Angst, Fluff, Romance, Composer!Jungkook x Perfume Maker!Reader › Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader › Warning : Mentions of Suicide, heavy subjects, depression (none of these are used with the idea of glamourising mental illness), strong language, smut in later chapters probably. Do not read if any of these trigger you.

› Author’s note : This is another version of the story I wrote a few years ago for GOT7. Some of the events will be different, others will not change just like some paragraphs will be the same and others won’t. Informations, definitions and words are taken from here and here.

› Summary : In the world of Perfume making, it is believed that everyone has their own natural fragrance. It is also believed that everyone has that one scent capable of making them feel a thousand things. You find yours in the form of a composer on the verge of breaking, right when you have to face one of the biggest challenge in your life.

Masterlist | Note I - Ionones |

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Note II: Aldehydes

An aroma chemical that contains a functional group consisting of a carbon, a hydrogen, and an oxygen atom. Aldehydes can be derived from natural or synthetic materials. There are different types of scents associated with this chemical function but the most commonly referred to when profiling a scent as “aldehydic” is a sharp, metallic, crisp, slightly fatty impression often associated with the smell of clean textile or hot iron. One of the first “aldehydic” fragrances is the famous N°5 created by Perfumer Ernest Beaux in 1920 and launched by Gabrielle Chanel in 1921.

Your second day is worse than the first one. Jimin is all over the place, mixing essences and sniffing everything he can. You’re glad though, it makes him go silent whenever he concentrates on something, and you have time for focus. It doesn’t help because you’re still frustrated if not more, but at least you can overburden yourself in peace.

The only light in all that shadow comes from the memory of Jungkook’s scent, precise yet unknown. You try to create something similar, but it’s everything and nothing at the same time and no matter the amount or variety of scent you use, you can’t even get close to it

His scent is a mystery.

It adds to your misery, like a voice mocking you for not being able to recognise a scent while another one forces you to crave for more. It feels like chasing a ghost.

The sound of your head against your office takes Jimin out of his momentum. “What’s happening?” He inquires. He gets up from his own working area to stand next to your powerless soul.

“When is the meeting?” You try because it is potentially the only hope for today. That powerful lady came in early to inform you about an upcoming meeting with the marketing team. The project seems big, because Jimin started to work as soon as she flew out of the laboratory. It’s been one day and he is so open about himself that you can already read his body language.

“3 p.m. I was thinking about a brainstorming. Let’s think about a concept.” He offers because this is going nowhere. You’re about to give up at any minute, and he needs you to be into it.

“What concept? I’m running in circles.”

“Sexy? Provocateur? Romantic? Angsty? Bucolic?”

“All of these have already been worked on so many times...I don’t think they want to go for something as...forthright. I’m quite sure they won’t be satisfied with a mere sexy perfume.” It’s what you understood - if your sudden creative freedom is anything to go by.

Jimin understands, his eyes now wide. He has no idea how to achieve that, but he still thinks you’re brilliant for thinking out of the box. He picks his notepad and starts writing everything you said, his brows furrowed.

“We want to be unique. The concept needs to be appealing to the greatest number without being too cliché. We are free to use what we want.” He notes things down and you find yourself peeking at the words, meaningful yet complex.

“So we need to mix a little bit of everything.” Jimin stops for a minute before a whine escapes his thick lips, “I’m lost, help me.”

“We can’t work this way.” You raise your head slowly, ruffling your wild locks in a nonchalant way. “We have to find a scent and put a concept over it. We can’t force the scent based on an imaginary idea.” This only works when a brand has specific goals but here you have nothing. You can’t possibly force an idea into your head.

Jimin looks pitiful as he puts the notepad away. “It’s going to be harder than I thought.”

And just like the day started, the meeting followed. You were not expecting much of it and you were right. The marketing project came and explained you were free to do anything you wanted. Their main objective was to follow you on whatever you wanted to create, and it’s infuriating.

How many times do you have to repeat that you can’t do it before they start to believe you?

Jimin, who was stressed before the meeting is now dejected and it almost breaks your heart because you feel responsible. You send him home earlier and decide to work on your own. Two hours later you leave the lab with Orchid oil all over your bag and the urge to cry.

There is only one way to make you feel better. You feel ashamed, like you’re addicted to something but you have to admit it.

Jeon Jungkook’s scent is the only thing worth smelling.

When you come back from work, there is no trace of him. His backpack is gone, the bed looks neat, and even the towel he probably didn’t use is dry. There’s still his smell, fresh in the air and it makes you run back outside to find the bridge where you had found him the night before.

He is not there.

You were exhausted, but you’re suddenly on fire. This situation is stressing you more than it should be when you don’t see him. It’s like you won’t ever see him again. You look around all the bridges you can find close to your place. Jungkook is nowhere to be seen.

You open the door of your apartment with a heavy heart. It’s like you lost something precious and it’s making you angry. What the hell is happening to you?

But you open the door and it hits again, like a whirlpool of long lost feelings and dried memories.

Jeon Jungkook is in your living-room, and his delectable scent pounds in the deepest zones of your brain. He is sitting on the floor by the small table, right hand dancing over bright white paper and guitar on his lap so you only see his back, but it’s the biggest relief you had in years.

He doesn’t turn around when you let your bag fall on the floor, he doesn’t move when you stop next to him. He looks absorbed, entranced. His knee is shaking to an unknown beat, mimicking his left hand which is drumming on the soft brown wood of the instrument he is holding.

“God. I thought- I’m so stupid.” You don’t want to share your worries with him, but the thought of him throwing himself off a bridge is still fresh. It stings more than it should, more than the pain you’re supposed to feel when confronted with a stranger’s despair.

“Hmm?” Jungkook doesn’t move toward you at first, but eventually his hand stops, and he glances up at your pallid features and tensed body “What’s wrong?”

“I came back home and you were not here. I thought...I thought you did something stupid.” You let your body fall on the couch. It’s like blood is circulating again into your veins, your skin going back its initial colour.

Jungkook is puzzled, like he doesn’t understand why it would be so dramatic for you. “I went around town after I grabbed some stuff from my place.” It’s crazy but he feels sorry for you. “I’m sorry for worrying you” he trails off, scanning your face some more. He has no idea how to react to a stranger panicking over his disappearance. His own family doesn’t panic when he doesn’t show up. He is lost as to why you would be so affected by anything related to him when no one else barely does.

You snort, not mad at him. You’re high on his smell and it’s all that counts. “It’s okay.” Your eyes find his, and his tilted head looks like it’s searching for any sign of discomfort. He only stares back, with eyes way too shiny for someone as dark as him. He looks candid, like he has everything to discover and it’s a mystery how he turned out thinking about the worst. You have no idea what he might be thinking - excepted that you’re probably out of your mind for reacting like this but he doesn’t question your intentions, for whatever reasons. You finally notice the papers and decide to move on before it gets too disturbing to deal with. “What are you doing?” you nod toward the torn pieces of paper and point a finger at the pile stacking up next to his crossed legs.

He swiftly puts it under his leg. “Nothing. Did you just come back from work?” He tries to change the subject. His voice gets higher and you instantly decipher his anxiety. He isn’t good with facing his own problems and it’s way too early to go into deep talks about lyrics and melodies. He might have agreed to a crazy proposition, but that doesn’t mean he is going to open to you. At least not now.

“I looked for you all over the place.” You admit because it’s a normal thing to do when somebody is in distress. Jungkook is dumbfounded.

“Why would you do this?” The situation in itself is already crazy enough as it is. He doesn’t mind you being friendly with him, even though he is pretty sure he doesn’t need it, but to the point of being dead worried for him?

“You were about to throw yourself off a bridge. I don’t know what kind of life you’ve been living but it’s pretty normal to freak out when something like that happens.” Your outburst shocks him. He doesn’t understand the impact of his actions over his surroundings. He has always thought he was just a detail in everyone else’s lives.

It has always been this way. He writes in the shadow for people to shine. Him not being here shouldn’t matter to anyone.

“It’s my business. I’m staying here because I have nothing left and it’s easier than staying in my empty apartment and facing my failures. It doesn’t mean we have to care about each other.” Jungkook doesn’t want to sound mean but he has to make it clear to you. His distress is by no mean a way to ask for anyone’s pity. He refused to add anyone into that mess, let alone a stranger.

It’s obvious, in a way. You know it’s stupid but this scent, it’s making you go wild. You can’t let it pass until you know what it is.

So you agree, taking the same tone and hoping your voice isn’t wavering. “I’m not here for you, I’m worried about another human being wanting to end his life. If it gives you the illusion that I care, I’m sorry about that.” You get up and you sound mad, something Jungkook notices as soon as you close the door a bit too violently.

No matter how mesmerising his scent is, he is apparently not that friendly. You’re not hurt by his words, because you don’t care enough personally to be affected. You’re being selfish, only thinking about your own benefit and what his scent could bring into your life. Jeon Jungkook himself doesn’t pull you in at all. He is someone you barely know anyways.

He doesn’t move from his spot in the living-room until later that night. He suddenly has too many things to write and too little time on his hands. He decides to stop when his wrist starts to hurt and his body hits the mattress of his new bedroom like a bag of sand hits the ground.

He feels at ease in the small room. Wood is covering the floor, and it is the same colour as the tiny office by the window. The view is peaceful, with buildings popping up from the floor like mushrooms and lights festooning the city in tiny dots. The bed is large and thick with soft bedding. The scent of the washing powder turns Jungkook into a nostalgic boy when he rolls into the bed, stretching his sore limbs. He feels even more stupid for feeling comfort in a seemingly empty room.

He falls asleep right away, exactly 10 seconds after you do. You’re both too exhausted to care about each other, but you both know you’re no strangers to your own common serenity.

And just like you understand the importance of his presence for your brain to function, he notices he needs your place to exist in his creative yet tortured mind. As stupid and as hard to believe as it is.

When you get up the day after, you see him by the kitchen’s table. He is sipping on orange juice that is not yours, and munching on toasts you definitely didn’t buy.

You go to the coffee machine, your head too cloudy to deal with his strong presence.

He speaks first “Want some juice?”. He is trying to make it up to you for his cold behaviour. He just isn’t used to being around you yet. He isn’t used being around anyone yet.

Also, he is the worst when he composes. He needs absolute concentration.

You sip on the hot liquid and nod his way. He hands you a glass with an unreadable face.

“Have a nice day.” He doesn’t know why he says it. He tries to be nice, because there’s nothing much to say to someone you met two days ago. Maybe his pride spoke for him yesterday, or maybe he decided to accept the hand of a stranger, because it’s less burdening than accepting his failures to his entourage.

You drink the fresh juice fast and walk away. “Thank you.” It is too hard to be rational right now, because the smell seems even stronger now. You probably come off as rude when you don’t reciprocate his words but you don’t dwell on it; that boy isn’t going to accept any sort of compassion anyways.

You enter the bathroom and get hit by the scent of his shower gel. Not that scent either.

You get ready at the same time as you build your resolve. Motivation is the key so maybe if you believe in you and your assistant, things might work out. Jimin is already here when you arrive, his citrus smell filling you from the first floor to the lab. He is joyful, like he found something awesome.

“Boss! Have a sit, come come!” His thin hand adds a tiny pressure to your back, leading you to your office.

“What’s happening?” You barely have the time to comprehend; he is already putting a sample in front of your noise.

You freeze.

“Wh-where did you find t- t- this ?” You utter, immediately thrown off by the odour.

“I was looking through essences this morning, and I thought we could start with a base, just to see what we could make of it. It’s...”

“Winter fir and Balsam*.” You conclude. Everything in this base is satisfying but the most important detail is that you remember this base. You smelled it this morning when you entered the kitchen.

You smell the very distinct feelings of comfort, warmth and softness which invades you whenever you’re close to Jungkook.

Jimin added a little twist to it, tho. “You added Cottage Herb Garden**”. The latter grins at you, visibly proud of himself for coming up with such a smart idea. He too gives off that feeling of freshness that is found in that herb. It is serene and woody and gives off feelings of sweetness and sensuality. Cottage Herb Garden fragrances are made using Aldehydes synthetic scents.

“I didn’t add much, but I thought it would go well because they both make great seasonal fragrances. I only put 8% though, how did you find out?” he looks shocked but not surprised, like he was half-expecting you to guess it yet still thought it would go unnoticed.

“The herb comes last. The earthy smell that lingers in your nose, it’s this one. Smell it again.” You tell him and he takes his time filling his nose. He closes his eyes and thinks for a moment before opening them again.

“This is Cottage Herb Garden.” You confirm and his mouth is now wide opened. He can’t believe he is working with such a talented person.

“So, do you think we could try? I feel like we’re using a lot of Aldehydes but at the same time it feels like a soft base note…” Jimin trails off, his fingers playing with the bottles.

You acquiesce, mind already elsewhere. It feels like the first step to Jungkook’s identity and it is energising. You take a sharp breath, startling Jimin who laughs at you because it’s like you found life again.

“You sound satisfied.” He offers the sample along with a genuine smile and for the first time, you smile back at him, thankful.

“You did great. I wonder why they hired me when you’re doing great on your own.” It’s true. Jimin came up with extremely complex scents and came up with a base note you would have never found on your own.

Jimin rolls his eyes and decides not to answer. If only he could have a quarter of your talent. He opens his notebook and starts writing, his eyes now shiny with glee

Base notes: Aldehydes (Synthetic) = Winter Fir / Cottage Herb Garden.

You put the sample in front of you and stare at it. So that was it. You smile to yourself, in a way, it’s like you can almost smell Jungkook.

You spent the rest of your day looking for another element to add to your base and when nothing comes to your mind you feel frustrated, but it’s the best you can do for now. Jimin is exhausted and snoring in a corner of the lab, his petite body squeezed between two cabinets. You shake him to wake his sleepy body and tell him to go home when you give up for the day.

It’s been so long since the last time Jungkook felt this satisfied. He didn’t go out, too engrossed into his lyrics to care about the light of the sun peeking through the opened blinds. It’s leaking off his pen, like he can’t stop the flood of ideas and he feels like a mad scientist, crazy and ecstatic. He takes a break around dinner time and when his stomach starts creating its own music.

He takes out noodles from the food he bought the day before. Living with you meant sharing a flat, but he wanted to provide his own necessities. Participating in daily life matters is only natural, after all.

His phone rings, and the caller ID makes him sigh. He is too hungry to face what is about to come, and his spent brain is screaming for rest.

He coughs, keeping his voice steady “Yes.” His tone is disillusioned. Jungkook barely gets any call nowadays, and except from work, he only knows one person who can annoy the hell out of him so much.

“You remember me? I thought depression AND amnesia hit you at once.” He wants to hang up when he hears the throaty voice. It’s heavy with judgement but then again, when is it not?

“And you wonder why I don’t call you, Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook finishes the sentence in a sigh. Yoongi is awesome at being a nagging mother.

“You’re too busy being away I guess. Artists are such a handful.” He hears steps and after a while, Yoongi speaks again. “Where are you? I’ve been waiting in front of your flat.”

“I moved out.” Jungkook looks fine with the revelation. It’s like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“What? Where? Why didn’t you tell me?” he hears Yoongi’s car and supposes the latter is already going back to his place.

“It’s been two days. I’m living with a girl.” He blows hair on the steaming bowl of noodles, ignoring his friend’s deep shriek.

Yoongi doesn’t know what’s happening anymore. Jungkook leaving on an inspiration crusade is common, it’s something he does whenever he gets overwhelmed by his feelings. Never once did he actually move out to live with someone else, let alone a girl.

He doesn’t even remember when was the last time Jungkook even dated someone. “Living together as in...romantically?” he tries, suddenly wary because he expected a lot of answers, but not this one.

“I couldn’t write anymore. I’m renting a room in her apartment.” He swallows the food like he has been starving for days. There is not the slightest hint of discomfort in his voice.

Yoongi laughs after a while “You’re living with your landlord. God, Jungkook, I know you people need some sort of inspiration to exist, but to the point of living with some old lady for the sake of music...”

“She’s not old.” Jungkook has no idea why it’s the only part of the sentence he reacted to, but all of a sudden he doesn’t want anyone to make fun of the person who took him in, not when he wrote ten songs in the span of two days. Not when he feels like no one can hurt him in your quiet kitchen.

“Anyways. Lunch with me tomorrow, how does that sound? Shall I check on that woman you’re living with ? How much is she charging you ? Aren’t you being scammed?”

“I can’t.” Jungkook sighs, ignoring the numerous questions because this is so typical of Yoongi to make sure no one is messing with him. “I have to eat with my parents, don’t tell them that I moved out.”

“You have always been doing everything you wanted anyways, what would it change if he was to know?”

Because he is going to crush me down like fine dust.

It has always been the same, and no matter how successful he was at some point, his father was never satisfied. Not when music is not a certain source of income, not when reputation comes before everything else.

“I’m hanging up.” He announces once panic overtakes him and hears his friend objects, telling him he will meet with him no matter what.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to see him. It’s just complicated. Jungkook has always been different from others. He was raised with Yoongi and they had the same nanny when they were young. The age difference rapidly made Yoongi turn into the older brother as time passed, and while he was the one introducing Jungkook to music making, he quickly stopped to take over his family’s business. He never explained to him how he drifted from music, but he is now all about business. Their respective parents were and still are too busy to deal with education, and while Yoongi grew up like the sharks his father works with, he took after a quieter side, the one that tells him to do what he wants instead of chasing money.

Yoongi often tells him he is a fool, that he doesn’t need anything else if he can have a bright future with his father’s company. He often answers that he doesn’t want to work without a purpose, and Yoongi always tells him to stop being a hypocrite and rely on his father’s money if he was to spit on it.

It’s true, Jungkook doesn’t know struggling. He was born in a rich family with a lot of possibilities. He was able to become a lyricist after a lot of failures, and his parents never gave up on him financially. This is probably why he is so affected when he can’t write. He doesn’t know how to deal with difficulties, he who lived with all the good things of the world.

He hears the door opening and your sore body appears before him, surprised to see him home. It’s like you were expecting him to run away, again. You don’t speak when you see him, mouth full of noodles and wearing the same clothes you left him in this morning. The silence is thick, oxygen heavy with uneasiness. Jungkook blinks, slurping on the noodles before wiping his mouth hastily.

“Want some noodles?” It’s hard to catch on the words, but he moves the bowl in front of him, and you understand.

You nod.

No matter how strong the smell of seafood is, his scent always wins over everything else. You decide to stay close because you’re slowly deciphering his smell, and you need more time to know where you’re going.

He goes to the cupboard like he has been living here for years and fills another bowl before sitting back. You’re surprised by his sudden gentleness but brush the worries off. You’re supposed to feel weirded by the fact that an unknown man is now living with you, but none of you are freaked out.

Jungkook is too happy to be productive again. You’re too drawn into your memories to stop everything.

You sit in front of him and after a couple of minutes, he speaks. It takes you out of the now soggy food.

“What’s your job?” Jungkook sounds interested, but you know he is only trying to ease the mood.

“I’m a perfume composer.” You decide not to dig further into the matter. It’s a peculiar world, something that only a few people can relate to. Most people think you mix synthetic molecules into expensive glass bottles, wrapped in glitters and hidden into luxury boxes with frills and furbelows.

And you get offended, knowing fully well that it’s exactly what you think you’re doing.

Jungkook doesn’t sound impressed, you’re not surprised by that.

“Sounds complex.” It is. It truly is, and even more when he is entering your every pore. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to it.

“It’s not.” you lie, “How about you?” His face lits subtly, and he seems shy all of a sudden. You don’t know this side of him yet, and you wonder where his emo behaviour went.

He coughs, putting the bowl down. “I’m a lyricist. I write lyrics and sometimes I compose, but I mostly write.”

“That sounds complex.” You muse. Jungkook is a tormented artist, then. It explains why he keeps on dreaming on bridges like he is filming a music video.

“Sometimes it’s complex, sometimes it’s a matter of course. I’ve been having a blackout recently.” It’s a confession, and he doesn’t know why he is sharing such a deep problem with you, a stranger.

You forget about the food “That’s why you were surrounded by torn papers.”

He chuckles. “Exactly. I’m getting there, though.”

It feels different to deal with such an open Jungkook. He chats like you’re close, smiles sometimes, he is almost glowing.

That evening you learn that he uses a pen name to write lyrics. He doesn’t want to tell you, but you know too little about the music industry and he finally spills the beans.

JK.

It sounds like some mysterious pen name used by thriller writers but you don’t tell him that. Instead, you decide to go to bed. No matter how comfortable you both seem, you’re not ready to share the part about you being addicted to his scent. He goes to his spot near the small table in your living-room and his hand goes back to a wild dance, covering the blank paper with ink. He is inspired.

He goes to bed right when you get up the day after and wakes up late for his lunch with his parents.

It’s not like he is eager to meet with them.

Plants. Plants plants plants. You look through the samples with haste. You know it has something to do with nature. The base note has to be about something else.

“What are you doing?” You smell Jimin the minute he opens the door, but you don’t let yourself be interrupted. You know you sound like a stalker, but you might or might not have smelled Jungkook’s jacket this morning, and you are sure of a thing: there is only one element left to create a frank base.

You don’t know when you switched from creating a perfume to reproduce his scent, but it doesn’t matter.

“All the samples are here, right?” The organ is huge and cabinets full, but it’s not enough for you. Jimin throws his vest on one of the chairs and approaches you, stifling a yawn.

“Yes. I think that’s quite a lot, actually.” He peeks from behind your shoulder, and sees your hands going through the numerous bottles, unsatisfied.

“No. No. These are generic scents. You don’t have any rare roots names, you forgot a lot of exotic fruits and most importantly, you don’t have anything uncommon.”

Jimin makes a face. He is not lost, he is adrift. “I’m afraid I don’t understand...”

“Tobacco abs, myrrh, resinoid, Balkans...” You talk but it sounds like a whole new language even for your assistant.

“Well, we have listed a lot of names. Most of them were used by previous composers, but we added more. I didn’t think it needed that much to be completed.” He knows about perfumes, he has a lot of knowledge, but you’re suddenly on a whole new level and can’t be reached.

You’re suddenly talking about tobacco odours and it freaks him out.

“I have a lot of these at home.” This could seriously help you. You barely use these, and most of them were sent by your father and collected on the internet. It’s the first time you can actually put them to good use because you know they could help, but you can’t bring them here.

Also, you think about how much easier it would be to just move work to an environment bathed by that scent which makes you crazy. How stimulating would it be ?

Jimin is expectant, but you don’t say more. He finally waves a worried hand in front of your face and you snap to meet his blinking eyelids.

“Let’s work from my place. This is what I often did.” Your offer makes him take a step back. He is not used to you being so devoted to this project.

“Are you sure? I don’t think the boss would object. We’ve had a few composers with weird demands before.” He doesn’t know what’s on your mind, but you’re a genius to his eyes and the mere idea of him seeing the place where you created such amazing products is electrifying. He can’t wait to know more about your ways.

“Good.” You glance around the room, “I don’t like this atmosphere.” You don’t mind if Jimin sees your place. At some point, you’re pretty much sure you could go with anything as long as you find the missing pieces of this conundrum.

You’re aware that you’re turning into an obsessional mess, but it feels pleasant to have a goal. This goes beyond everything you experienced, it gives you a fuel you didn’t know you could have.

You take the day to gather some samples and ask Jimin to let the boss know about your change of plans. At the end of the day, he helps you carry the numerous samples home. You’re a happy mind, torn between apprehension and excitement.

You open the door and Jungkook sees two huge boxes enter the living-room. He is rubbing a towel against his wet hair but he catches your box before you can let it crash to the ground. Jimin lets his own fall with a soft thud and you’re startled when you hear a dismayed squeal, along with Jimin’s shocked face, his finger pointing at a puzzled Jungkook.

“JK?!”

-------

* Winter Fir and Balsam : This redolent mixture of refreshing natural pine mingled with a sweet, peppery, delicately refined and soft base note of balsam has a soothing and warm character. It evokes particular feelings of warmth and comfort. The mind’s eye (and nose) recalls Christmas trees and sleigh rides and happy times by a fireside or even in a small apartment among special friends or family.

** Cottage Herb Garden : Sparkling blue waters, gentle summer winds and cozy brick cottages nestled in the lush, serene English countryside characterised this green floral scent. Enticing notes of sweet, earthy, star anise, fresh basil, grassy parsley, aromatic wild flowers, fresh garden greens and a woodsy, sensual musk base note comprise this complex aroma.

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