#no one even knows *where* this random ass village is

[h8ani]

Prompt #21 with Sasuke from Naruto please! 🥰 Surprise me!

Part One → Part Two → Part Three → Part Four

Pairing: Sasuke Uchiha x Reader

Anime: Naruto

Word Count: 3k

Synopsis: you hate him and he hates you, but when he shows up out of nowhere demanding to speak to you all of those years of pent up hatred come out

Warnings: this is the first smut I wrote in years so that’s a warning in itself, rough doggy, all characters are of age/aged up, dirty talk, angry sasuke, oral (female receiving), missionary for 2.5 seconds, angry reader at sasuke

Prompt: “This doesn’t change anything between us.”

A/N - look I actually tried really hard on this and I lowkey wanna make a pt2 to this so please tell me if y’all would want it! Feel free to request a prompt!

"Isn't he so cute!"

"I'm going to marry him someday."

"Sasuke is so cool!"

Hearing his name you couldn't help but roll your eyes. You couldn't stand his attitude even at your young age. It was always someone trying to one up the other, whether it be you excelling in your chakra control or him beating someone else in seconds in a sparring match. You hated him, you hated his attitude and you hated how every girl would throw herself in front of a kunai for him. You hated Sasuke Uchiha and he hated you.

Your feelings towards him weren't one sided either, he could've left you alone but no, he had to bother you any chance he got. Clearly he developed damage to his brain where he can't learn to develop the skills of empathy and self control.

The teasing wasn't that bad, it was the shitty tricks he'd pull and act like it wasn't him. If you wanna pull a prank on someone at least take ownership instead of being a pussy. Did you just call a 12 year old a pussy? Yes. Yes you did. Sasuke Uchiha at 12 years old was a pussy and you've told him that to his face too.

                                          ~~~

"You're leaving." You say as more of a statement than a question. You look at the brooding kid in front of you, his hand on his backpack strap tightening as he stares angrily at you.

"What does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't but-"

"Then shut up and mind your business." He interjects quickly causing you to stare daggers at him.

"You're a pussy." You push off from the wall you were leaning on and brush past him. "You were weak during exams and you're weak now." You begin to walk away past him when his grips the collar of your shirt and slams you back into the wall you were on. "Hey asshole!-"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." He cuts you off, his face only mere inches from you.

"You wanna kiss pretty boy?" You shove him away as hard as you can creating some distance between the two of you. "Just get the fuck out of the village already."

And so he did.

You couldn't feel any happier once Sasuke was out of the village. The pain in your ass wasn't there anymore and you felt like you didn't need to prove yourself as the top of your class anymore even though you have been graduated from the academy for over two years. You were perfectly fine without him, everyone else he supposedly made 'friends' with, if he was even able to make actual friends that is; they were worried, suddenly wanting to go out and retrieve him like he was taken. Once again Sasuke was the top priority to everyone minds.

You couldn't care less about Sasuke Uchiha.

                                      ~~~

He hasn't crossed your mind on your own accord in years. You hadn't seen him in years, you know he's still a topic around the village but you tend to zone everyone out when he gets brought up and at this point in time it's been working. Out of sight, out of mind, he could have gotten himself killed in a random battle and you don't think you'd shed a single tear for him.

You hear a bang at your front door which catches your attention immediately, you go to ignore it thinking it's the neighbor's kid across from your apartment kicking the ball they had against your door until the banging becomes repetitive, the more bangs coming from the other side of the door the louder they became. You swing the door open looking to see who or what was the cause of the annoying noise only to be shoved to the side into the door frame. "What the hell!" You raise your voice grabbing the wrist of who barged in, you get overpowered and pulled back into your apartment and the door gets slammed. You look up at the intruder who shoved his way into your home and see him. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke looks frustrated to say the least. He has the same signature scowl he's always had on his face and the same posture with his arms crossed over his chest while looking around your apartment. There doesn't seem to be a difference in the way he looks at you either, the same hatred behind his eyes as always, even with him being the one rudely shoving his way inside.

"(Y/N)." He said simply with nothing coming after. You waited a few moments if he was just trying to be dramatic with his entrance. He never said anything after that.

"Why are you back in the village?"

"I'm not." You roll your eyes and huff a sigh.

"Why are you here in my apartment then?" You mimic his body and cross your arms over your chest, his head turns to face you and his eyes stare at you intensely. You'd say you were used to this but after so many years you've grown unaccustomed to the look he used to give you because it was nothing like this.

"I'm here to talk, I need to-"

"Why am I supposed to care what you need?" You  insert before he's done speaking. He huffs a breath and soon enough his eyes shoot the daggers you remember.

"I don't expect you to I just need-"

"How about you tell me why you left the village in the first place?" You cut him off mid sentence once again. You don't care about his needs, you don't care about him at all, but you'd like some answers. "Was it like everyone was saying? That you just wanted to grow stronger? So did you find it? Did you get stronger like you wanted?"

"That doesn't matter I don't need to answer that right now, you clearly already know the answer to that." He rolls his eyes and let his arms fall from his chest.

Sasuke was never a man of many words, he was never a man at all he was just a little boy, but with his responses you can't help but bug him about it. Call it being nosy or call it you always zoning everyone out the second you hear his name so you never actually found out the reasoning for him abandoning the village.

"So you're still weak? You're still that little kid who does nothing but bitch and complain about wanting revenge. You may have grown up in these last few years but you're still that sad, pathetic, weakling-" Your shoulders are shoved and pinned to the wall behind you in a moment, you gasp out at the sudden jolt in your back and look up at the angry ravenette.

"Shut up." He growls lowly and if looks could kill, not that he could but you'd probably drop dead if he wished it.

"Make me you prick." You look at him, your stare unwavering as the pressure on your shoulders feels tighter.

There is no sound in your home but everything seems to be buzzing in your ears. Sasuke's face only inches from yours, seemingly just like when he left the village. You feel a sudden wave of nostalgia if you can even call it that as it wasn't a fond memory to think back on. You wait for his response, you look into his eyes and can't decipher what's going on in his head. His grip on your shoulders loosen before he crashes his lips onto yours, his hand now finding a place onto the back of your neck to pull you even closer to him.

Your eyes widen in shock as you don't kiss him back. The kiss surprising you but what is even more of a shock is who is kissing you. You feel him pull away and the look he gives you is mixed with annoyance and frustration. "Just kiss me back." He pauses and smirks, "Or are you too much of a pussy." Your eyes darken with anger as he used your insult to him against yourself. He doesn't wait for your answer before he pulls you back to his lips, you instantly kissing back.

The kiss was hard and the only emotion behind it was the hatred you feel towards him. Your lips molded together as you two kissed, his hand found it's way from the back of your neck to tangling itself in your hair while you felt his grip tighten sending a tingling sensation to your scalp. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue in heating the kiss up in an instant.

You could feel him press against you, his leg sliding between yours and pressing against your clothed core, a small sound comes out but is quickly swallowed down by him. His lips leave yours to slowly kiss down your jaw, it was excruciatingly slow the way he kissed you, from your jaw to your neck to the sweet spot he found almost instantly. You bit back a moan but he made sure to take his time marking up your neck.

The feeling of his thigh was hard to push to the back of your mind, all you could feel was Sasuke and what he was doing to you. You hate him, you hate how he's making you react right now and you hate at how good he is and neither of you have even taken a single piece of clothing off of each other yet. You hate even more the needy words that come out of your mouth next.

"Bedroom." You say almost breathlessly, you could feel the smirk he gives against your neck before quickly going back to your lips. His hands slide to your waist and pull you to him and walk you back not daring to break from the kiss. He pushes open one door and you feel your ass bump into something hard and cold, you pull away from him to see you backed up against your washing machine. "You idiot, this is the wrong room." You roll your eyes and walk past him going into your bedroom.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know that it's not like I've been in your apartment." He scoffs following you and kicking the door shut.

"Oh I bet you must've dreamed-" your words were short lived as he spun you around and kissed you quieting you down.

Kissing Sasuke wasn't like all the books you've read, it wasn't sweet, it wasn't like being with your ex's when you were in love. His kiss was full of passion, it's a kiss of desire and a feeling of pent up frustrations he nor you have been able to let out. Frustrations at each other, at the world, at everything. Sasuke was a damn good kisser too which annoyed you even further.

His lips left yours to tug off your top, the fabric quickly being discarded to a random corner in your room. His eyes ate your figure up, seeing how your breasts layed there perfectly in your bra you were wearing. A low groan left his lips as he went to kiss up your chest, his fingers hooking onto the waistband of your skirt and started to tug it down past your thighs pooling around your ankles. You quickly kicked them away and pulled at his shirt. "Off." You demand and he takes no time in removing his shirt before pushing you back to the edge of the bed and dropping to his knees."

"Spread." He now is the one demanding. You go to spread your legs before pausing and closing them causing a confused look to cross his face.

"This doesn't change anything between us. I still hate you." His confusion quickly deadpans before shaking his head.

"God shut up." He spreads your legs and pushes your panties to the side before slowly swiping his thumb along your slit and pressing it to your clit causing you to gasp. "You're soaked." It was more of a statement than anything but feeling his thumb start to roll little circles on your clit sent a shockwave up your body. You watched him as he stared at your pussy.

"Are you going to sit and stare or are you going to actually do something pretty boy?" Your words rang in his ears and he slowly looked up at you, the same irritation growing in him like it did all those years ago when you'd call him that name. His thumb left your clit and his index and middle finger slowly pushed it and curled causing you to let out a small moan. He could feel you already clenching around them as he started to pump them in and out of you. "Stop calling me that." His head dipped down between your thighs and licked a long swipe before settling on your clit making you let out another moan.

"I can't help it." You say running your fingers through his hair. "You're a pretty- ahh fuck..." Sasuke sucks on your clit harshly, his fingers curling and uncurling from your gspot making your mind go fuzzy with the pleasure he's giving you. Your fingers tighten in his hair tugging slightly, "Fuck Sasuke." You throw your head back taking in the feeling of his tongue and fingers working on you. You can feel the coil in your stomach tighten up and you screw your eyes shut feeling the pleasure hit you. You feel dizzy and can't focus on anything but Sasuke. He tugs your panties down past your hips and tosses them to the side before finally undoing his pants. You fall back against your bed, chest heavy as that was one orgasm that knocked the wind out of you.

You feel the bed dip down before you're turned over to your stomach, a harsh smack heard before you felt his hand come across your ass. "Ass up." He says, his voice low as he picks up your hips positioning them to his liking. You feel him bring the tip of his cock up and down your slit causing you to shiver. You can just feel the smirk on his face before he pushes in giving you no moment to get adjusted. You let out a mix of a moan and groan feeling him stretch you out, you not having any sort of sex in a while is the excuse you'd like to give but you also didn't expect Sasuke to be big in the slightest.

His hands gripped your hips and brought you back with each thrust, you arched your back and dropped your head letting out small moans as he hit a spot in you that you haven't felt before. "You ever felt this good before with anybody else?" You could hear the smugness in his voice. "You're so fucking tight, don't tell me, you weren't saving yourself for anyone were you?" He chuckles as he thinks what he's saying is funny, you throw your hand back ready to smack him but he quickly catches it and pins your arm behind your back pushing you further into the mattress as he slams into you at a slower pace. "Of course you weren't, you take my cock too well."

You could feel every inch of him with every hard thrust he gives you, feeling him deep in your stomach as you grip the bedsheets tighter and tighter.  "Please go faster." You whine out without meaning to. Sasuke pulls out and flips you to your back before slowly pushing back in making you moan. He leaned forward his thrusts picking up pace and making you look at him.

The close proximity of him making you nervous all of a sudden, missionary was for eye contact, kissing, all of that intimate shit. Doggy style is much more your style with Sasuke. You don't have to look at him. The smirk on his face makes you question him before he speaks. "Who knew you were such a needy sub." Your eyebrows furrow as you go to speak but the words died on your tongue when Sasuke brings his fingers to your clit again bringing you close to your second orgasm. "You're just taking my dick like a good girl, aren't you?" You shake your head refusing to listen to him. His fingers move faster on your clit giving you the perfect amount of pressure to send you back over the edge. Your eyes squeezed shut and head pressed back in your mattress as you orgasmed for the second time in the night. You can feel Sasuke's hips stutter as he fucks you through your orgasm, his pace quickening even more before you felt him stop and let out a low groan as he came inside you.

Your eyes shoot open as you smack his arm, "You did not! Not inside you idiot!" You shove him off of you as you quickly go to your bathroom that's connected to your room.

Sasuke chuckles to himself before letting out a small "oops." He sits himself up on your bed and gets himself dressed. He can hear you grumbling in the bathroom and the shower starting to run as he gets finished. He stands up and makes his way around your room walking to the door before his eyes laid upon picture frames on your dresser. He can faintly see pictures of your closest friends, some recent and some old but what catches his eyes the most was a picture taken when you were in the academy. It was when the top of the class got a picture taken and both you and Sasuke tied for number one. Both of you were upset that you had to take a picture together and it was evident on your faces. Your arms were crossed while glaring at the camera man and whoever had to have forced the picture and Sasuke was looking over to the side, his hand on his hip and looking as annoyed as ever.

Out of all the photos you put in a frame you put that one even as you hated him.

Hate. It's a funny emotion. Isn't it?

[tossawary]

In "The Princess Bride", Westley is (forgive this phrasing, I mean it relatively fondly) "a petty bitch of a man", but I can kind of see where he's coming from giving Buttercup a hard time at the beginning. It's a very human thing to have a temper.

He went off to seek his fortune and was attacked by pirates, which I assume was a bloody and unpleasant experience. He had to beg for his life and spent a long time as their captive, threatened with death every single day, even if it later turned into a less serious morbid joke. Life on the crew of the most famous pirate in the world was presumably pretty harsh at times and he worked his ass off training himself up to be worth feeding and keeping alive, then to be able to hold his own in this new life. Piracy is hardly a very safe profession.

For all we know, Westley did attempt to send letters home, but he probably had to work hard to scrounge up the money for it and find someone semi-legitimate willing to carry it, and this is hardly an era of reliable mail. He probably had to just hope that Buttercup 1) wouldn't hear the news of his first ship's destruction and/or 2) would trust in his love for her enough to know that he was alive and fighting to come back.

When Westley finally becomes the Dread Pirate Roberts, he's still stuck with the former Dread Pirate Roberts for a little while, and then he has a pirate crew who have expectations of him. He cannot sail the damn ship himself. It probably took a lot of work, threats and persuasion and the slow building of trust, in order to get a ship full of men to eventually take him back to Florin. Like, would he even have told them about Buttercup? (It would be funny if there's a crew of pirates out there cheering Westley on in True Love.) Would he have had to promise them some reward?

He also went out in the world to make his fortune and he already knows that he's dreadfully late, so maybe his position is, "Okay, I will build up trust with my crew by building up our fortunes, WHILE slowly but surely moving back across the world in the direction of Florin so that I can see the love of my life again. This hellish experience traveling all over the damn world will all have been worth it for her."

It's possible that Westley was mostly having silly pirate adventures worthy of a comedic operetta, but based on the tragedies of Inigo and Fezzik's own backstories, this world is not actually that nice. Westley is being flippant and lighthearted when he later summarizes things for Buttercup, but he does seem to be one to make light of / ignore his personal suffering. I do think that he did probably make some friendships through this hardship and had some good experiences along the way, especially near the end, but I also think that the beginning of his journey must have been really shit.

So, Westley fights hard to get back home, then lands somewhere in Florin and is on his way back to the farm, but then finds out from some random villagers (or Buttercup's parents) that his shitty former prince is marrying an incomparably beautiful milkmaid named Buttercup. Like...? The love of his life didn't wait for him (she thought he was dead and is also being forced into this, so that Humperdink can murder her to start a war, Buttercup did nothing wrong) and traded up for some SHITHEAD PRINCE??? That has to HURT. (And Westley does not like admitting to feeling pain!)

Even if he loves mischief and drama, Westley is being an unnecessarily huge jerk when he kidnaps Buttercup away from her kidnapping, but also yeah, I see how his temper might be running hot. He's struggling with the fact that his True Love might have moved on after he's probably been using her memory as a thin rope of sanity for years.

[herdarkestnightelegance]

Magpie Stash

Pairing: Astarion/ g/n unnamed Tav Tags: fluff, trauma Length: 1k words Summary: While looting, Astarion comes across items he wants to own.

A/N: Another headcanon which I may have shared with some of the talented fan fiction writers out there before. So, if that’s the case, don’t come for me! But holy Hells this got much longer than I planed! I guess this is s drabble now? Or a whole ass fanfic? You tell me 😂

Thank you wonderful @nyx-knox for the beta reading! It was *chef‘s kiss* ✨

::::::::

Astarion has not owned anything in 200 years.

The only things he could call his were his wits and the clothes on his back - and both he cared for and mended meticulously.

But suddenly he’s part of a ragtag group of strangers, and he finds himself looting a temple not far from where they crashed with a damn Nautiloid after being abducted and infected by mindflayer parasites. And frankly, he’s not entirely sure what part he finds most surprising.

Finding food, weapons and healing potions is a priority. For the others. Not so much him. Honestly. Why should he bother looking for food he won’t even eat? He doesn’t know these weirdos.

But he humors them and even aids his positively helpless companions by picking locks. And as he opens the lid of a gilded chest, something catches his eye.

Beneath old parchment and a rotten carrot he finds …. pretty things? There’s a particularly sparkly ring. A skilfully bound book with gilded letters on the cover. A fine silk scarf hemmed with the most delicate fell-stitches …

He has no idea if those items are of any value. They certainly are useless for the group. But … they are beautiful. And he wants, no he needs to own them. So without giving it too much thought, he takes them.

He has no intention of selling *HIS* items to the vendor they meet at the Tiefling Camp. Hells, he doesn’t even have the intention of showing them to his companions.

He wants these pretty things for himself, he wants to keep them safe. The spawn siblings used to steal from one another all the time, so he’s used to being protective over his meagre possessions. Can’t shake 200 years of hypervigilance that easily.

::::::::

Over the next days and weeks of travel, Astarion fills up a little purple leather pouch with whatever catches his eye. Going through the diverse collection of beautiful bits and bobs for a few moments before meditating becomes a secret source of calm for Astarion. A soothing ritual, especially after the more straining days.

Which is what he’s doing now. He sits on his bedroll cross-legged, inspecting the things. His things. His little private treasure trove. That he owns.

A bejeweled comb, random gold coins, a tiny picture frame containing an even tinier painting …

The only piece of his treasure that gave him more of a bittersweet feeling had been a silver hand-mirror he had found in the goblin infested village. To be honest, he was not too mad when he accidentally smashed it in frustration the other night after talking to Tav.

Tav. Their unofficial leader. They never seem to have a problem sharing the things they find. They share their food with the group, their scrolls, and they even gave Astarion that freakish but intriguing tome they had found in that cellar. Far too generous, if you ask him.

As Astarion packs up his collection he hears coughing outside. Again. It’s been going on all night.

He peeks out. Tav is on second watch. The night is cold, and they just added another log to the fire. Still, the cool wind is picking up and Tav pulls their cloak close around their neck - which unfortunately does not prevent the coughing.

For a moment, Astarion considers just ignoring them, letting them hack up a lung. But to his dismay, he … cares? He finds he doesn’t want Tav to be cold or sick. But it’s just because he just doesn’t want their coughing to get annoying. That’s all. Obviously.

So he leaves his tent and saunters up to their leader, who greets him with a sleepy but friendly smile.

Astarion holds out his hand to Tav, holding a long piece of white fabric. He’s offering them his beautiful silk scarf with the immaculate fell-stitched hem that he had inspected a lot over the past weeks.

„You’re coughing too much, darling. It’s keeping me up and I do need my beauty sleep.” he says with mock indignation and his trademark smirk.

„Thank you.“ Tav says as they take the scarf from his hand and wraps it around that oh so delicious neck of theirs.

After an awkward moment of silence Astarion offers a final „Well. Good night, my dear.“ with a courteous bow and walks back to his tent.

He can’t help but wonder at the strange feeling in his chest. Tav can and will never know just what big of a deal this small gesture was for the pale Elf.

For the first time in 200 years Astarion gave away something that was his simply because he wanted to. He wanted them to have it. Because they needed it more than him. And not only that. He does not even expect anything in return. How in the Hells did that happen?

He’s sure it’s nothing.

:::::::

A few years from then, Astarion finds himself in the cellar beneath Tav’s and his home. He’s looking for something, and he’s sure it has to be here somewhere.

“Aha!” From the trunk before him he pulls a skilfully bound book - even though the gilded letters on the cover have worn off with time.

He opens the book - and huffs in relief. And nervousness. It’s still right where he left it between the pages all those years ago.

Hidden inside the old book lies a particularly sparkly ring.

He smiles. A lot has changed since that day they looted that temple and he found his first little treasures. Back then Astarion couldn’t fathom sharing his magpie stash - or anything, for that matter - with anyone. And now? Now he shares a home with the person he loves. And he plans on sharing so much more with them.

What better way of showing that than by proposing with the first thing he ever called his? Because now there’s only one thing, or rather person, he wants for himself. The one person he wants to share everything with.

He looks at the particularly sparkly ring.

Yes. This should do nicely.

So, and on a completely unrelated note: When does a headcanon become a full on fanfic lol?

[ereawrites]

girl please you are my only source of Shisui content😭😭 really feeding us shisui simps🤝🏻 anyways, if you feel like it, can you please write about shisui and (if you want to) your fav characters “the moment they realized they fell in love with you”

MMMMMMM this is cute asf! under the cut for length

shisui

he definitely already recognises he has Feelings with a capital F. he's a smart boy and unlike the other two he is pretty emotionally available. but he doesn't want to reveal his Feelings just yet because circumstances are tricky, and he doesn't want to go through all the emotions of a big confession just to not be able to pursue a relationship with you

side note this is ANBU shisui. so he's pretty busy and just casually risking his life on the regular. tbh you're also probably in ANBU and that's how you guys get to know each other so well

anyway he's been sitting on these Feelings for a while. and he knows you like him too. he knows. he indulges in some lowkey flirting from time to time, but he also tries to maintain some level of professional distance

and then you save his life and he's SCREWED

you're both assigned to the same mission and spend the entire time dancing around flirting/not flirting, trying to hide it from your teammates, just generally having to try really hard not to distract each other too much. then there's an ambush on your squad and shit gets kinda crazy

shisui probably exhausts himself a bit protecting the entire squad and manages to get himself knocked flat on his ass. there's an enemy stood over him and he's out of kunai and his chakra is depleted and he thinks well, that's that and then you're cutting down the enemy out of nowhere

he stares up at you like an idiot lol. you look like shit, you're covered in blood and your headband is lopsided. and he thinks you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

HE LIKES A WOMAN WHO COULD BEAT HIS ASS okay

in that moment he just realises how much he trusts you, and how well you guys work together. he can't stop thinking about it long after you guys get back to the village. he's literally dreaming about it. and after a few days he's like. this is love ig. wow.

shisui won't keep it from you for long. he thinks you deserve to know, even if it changes your dynamic as teammates. capital F Feelings are one thing but love is too important to hide. he might try to keep it professional (mutual pining?!?!??!), but I also see him going for a relationship here, even if you have to hide it from your superiors. and let's be real a secret relationship with shisui. it's hot

kakashi

see now kakashi. he knows he has feelings. but he won't admit it to himself. he says no thank you not today. he's so stupid lol he thinks if he ignores it then it'll go away

he can't really keep himself away from you though. he wants to distance himself and that's his first instinct, but he literally just can't do it. he keeps finding himself wandering into your path, or just happening to train at the same time as you, or listening more intently when a mutual friend mentions your name

and the whole damn time he's like ah yes this is normal friendship. you probably don't realise anything is going on with him though, because kakashi is just weird in general. he does all this strange shit and no one questions it. you encounter him in the makeup aisle of a store on the other side of town from where he lives, and he thinks the jig is up, but you literally just assume he's doing Kakashi Things. and he thinks he's so slick

when it does finally hit him though, it hits him HARD. I see him finally realising he's in love in a very random, domestic moment

okok I've got it. he's back from a pretty tiring mission and he just instantly wipes out in his apartment as usual, doesn't bother getting groceries or anything. he figures he can survive off the food pills in the cupboard for a few days until he has the energy to grocery shop

then you just.....show up at his apartment??? carrying grocery bags?? and start putting food in his fridge????

kakashi doesn't really know how to react to this, but he feels bad just standing there, so he kinda sheepishly shuffles over and starts helping you put the groceries away. and it's nice. this is when he realises

literally drops whatever he's holding. this is a big oh shit moment for him. he lowkey really panics, he has no idea what he's supposed to do with these feelings, it's the dreaded L Word and that's scary as hell. he goes super quiet and avoids eye contact bc he's convinced you're going to read his mind

and of course you think this is Kakashi Things yet again. he's just weird. even over the next few weeks when he starts acting REALLY strange - avoiding you like the plague one day, attached to your hip the next - you don't think much of it. and this makes it sooooo much worse for him lol. he's never going to confess on his own

it's honestly torture for him. he's losing sleep over this. kakashi hatake??? in.... LOVE???? impossible

please please please just let one of your mutual friends intervene. hopefully he (drunkenly) confesses to someone, and they're able to pull some strings to force you to talk to each other. he may literally pass out when he has to confess to you, but just roll with it

tobirama

oh god it's so cliche for tobirama but I have to do it. ENEMIES TO LOVERS

like look at him. he's so smug. he has a lot of pride, so he's pretty likely to end up having some kind of political/ideological rivalry with you. maybe you tend to very vocally disagree with his ideas for the village or strategies for missions. and it annoys him so much, especially because you're articulate and convincing with your points

so he's in this weird position where he has respect for you and your intelligence..... but you also infuriate him to no end. over time, he starts to dwell on your encounters more and more - he thinks about them even when he's training, or relaxing at home, or away on a mission. and this just pisses him off more bc he literally cannot get a moment's peace from you

hashirama notices this WELL before tobirama does. and it makes him all giddy and excited bc he knows what it means, but he doesn't want to ruin the surprise for tobirama lol

honestly it gets to the point where he will ignore everyone else in the room just to debate with you. it's at this point that he starts to realise he's got strong emotions towards you, but he kind of just brushes it off as a rivalry. he definitely doesn't even consider the possibility that they're romantic feelings

tbh. you're going to have to be the one to make the first move. unfortunately for you, tobirama is hot AND irritating, so he's going to get under your skin just as much as you get under his. it probably ends up with a pretty heated confrontation at some point

lets say you've had a pretty big disagreement at a meeting, and he ended up getting his way with the rest of the council. so you storm into his office later that day to chew him out. and tobirama is in one of his smug asshole moods bc he 'won', which means he's just smirking at you. and this is the moment ok just kiss him. wipe the smug look off his face

it takes him a few seconds to react, but he definitely pushes you off and orders you out of his office. at first he's absolutely furious, but then he realises a few days later that he can't stop thinking about the kiss, and not necessarily in a bad way. he finds himself wishing he'd kissed you back, even if just out of curiosity

BUT tobirama is stubborn so he won't admit that to you. he waits until he gets an opportunity to come argue with you, then seeks you out, and tries to goad you into kissing him again. hopefully he manages to piss you off enough to make you do it. because it's GOOD

he can't help but kiss you hard. probably pulls you into him by the jaw, wraps his other arm around your waist, won't let you go. don't wanna get too saucy here but I wouldn't be surprised if this gets a little steamy before he stops himself. he gets lost in the moment

then he pushes you off AGAIN lol it's so frustrating. this time it's bc he's like oh fuck. fuck. this is more than a rivalry

it's gonna end up a game of cat and mouse tbh. neither of you want to admit the depth of your feelings, but you also can't stay away from each other

[time-woods]

Thinkin bout how we never got a draxum backstory ep-hes a warrior so chances are hes fought in at least one war right? Also considering his long life span hes def seen some shit, bc we never got draxs backstory Im making my own (with more reasoning why he hates humans sm)- draxum had to have had a family right? Where are they now? What happened to them? when he was young some yokai were actually able to live on the surface(secluded and far away but still) he lived in a small yokai town/village- humans having the belief that yokai were dangerous and should be driven away, they attacked his town,(this wouldnt b at NY somewhere more rural btw) this left a sour impression on drax, growing up he had the intent to protect the yokai race by any means,- His intent was good but his methods warped over time, by war after war, yokai against yokai(this type of war definitely happened, like rebellions n such) seeing the worst in others made him leap to the harshest of methods to protect others.Aka leading to him being a alchemist etc

(rough idea ^^ taken from my twt- some other ideas bellow))

draxs mom was a warrior- protecting the yokai, but to take care of her kids and her village she decided to devote her time to that, she cares for her family and her community and will stop at nothing to protect them(dont look 2 deep into that- dw)

Random ass hc but drax keeps his hair long because when he was a kid in his family having long hair was a sign of strength, his mom was one of his biggest (and only role models) but he always looked up to her. So he keeps his hair long in her honor.

mama drax would definitely hum/sing as she would brush draxs hair, that or tell interesting stories about her time as a warrior (she embellishes to make them either sound more cool or to make them a bit more kid friendly))

Just thought abt somethin else about the hair thing-as kid drax is running from his village last thing he sees is his mom get captured by yokai hunters, yokai hunters knowing  these warriors- they cut her hair, washing away the last bit of pride she had, failing her sworn mission -to have the strength needed to protect her people and family, at least she saved a few, right? This is another reason why drax keeps his hair long, to remember her strength even though it was taken from her,

anyways,, i think thats all i got 4 nows, beware more angst soon (possibly))

[saturnniidae]

you say you have disabled hiccup headcanons? :3 *ears get really reall big. how are they doing that. why*

id love to hear them :D

Yes! Okay you've opened the floodgates my friend, I've been waiting to talk about this for so long.

He's autistic and has adhd! Obviously.

stims by tapping his fingers against things, waving his hands around, quickly taking apart and putting back together trinkets he's made, mimicking dragon noises (tho over time he's realized their vague meaning and stopped doing it randomly bc it was confusing them), running his hands over toothless' head to feel the texture of his scales and (when he was younger) petting his fur vest

His 'obsession' with things (trying to one up viggo, and when he was working on his sword) is literally just him Hyperfocusing on things

Easily loses track of time when he's locked in (Hyperfocused) working on inventions

Has that random 'I need to info dump NOW' thing and wakes Astrid up in the middle of the night like to randomly talk about abnormal behavioral patterns in a new terror flock on berk and Astrids just like 'babe I love you but it's three am'

Dyspraxic. When he was a kid he spent so much time practicing coordination for things like learning to write then later working in the smithy, and almost gave up more than once before continuing out of spite.

immunocompromised. Like seriously Hiccup has a weak ass immune system and would get sick every winter as a little kid, to the point of it being fatal. The villagers would always talk in hushed tones (bc of stoick caught them they'd get yelled at) and wonder if that years gonna be the one where he doesn't make it but he always ended up pulling through (also out of spite)

After meeting Toothless he developed tinnitus. Didn't think much of the ringing in his ears at first bc. Yknow, dragon roared at full volume directly into his ear. Then it didn't go away and he was like 'huh maybe this is an issue' then it just got worse as he continued to be in close proximity to loud noises like, even more roaring, and explosions etc.

Despite this he's got that weird "I enjoy loud noises like dragons roaring and the sound the wind makes when you're flying at like 40 mph, but if I hear the noise of lots of overlapping voices all having different conversations in a large room I need to die."

Chronic pain. The obvious, phantom pains in his leg of course, but fun fact! The human body really doesn't like it when you've broken bones repeatedly especially in the same area, and with how much this kid gets thrown around in rtte it's safe to say he's broken, fractured, and dislocated a lot of things.

When he comes home/gets back to the edge after a long day of traumatic or ridiculous events, first thing he does is take Toothless' saddle and prosthetic tail fin off, then he tries to crash in his bed, but either Toothless doesn't let him sleep until he's taken his prosthesis off (I hate that he sleeps with it on in canon looking at it makes my body hurt imaging how uncomfortable that'd be), or Astrid comes in to make sure he does (and also to make sure he eats bc he forgets to wayyy too often).

Asthma. No explanation. I just know he has it

I hope not all of these came off as super angsty, they aren't meant to completely. Like sure it sucks but he's allowed to not be miserable constantly (disabled people are allowed to not be miserable constantly, it doesn't make our pain any less valid. We're allowed to be happy).

I just love when characters are permanently, physically, changed by their story. Tbh if it weren't for rampant ableism, I think a lot of characters in action/adventure stories would be disabled, but people aren't ready for that discussion yet. Ty for the ask I had so much fun answering and writing these!!!

[silverameco]

Travel AU - @wolfstarmicrofic - 698 words

CW : suicide joke, implied past abuse

It was a normal friday night. They had a marauders' gathering, but Prongs and Wormy left quite early, like they tended to do these days. So it was just him and Moony. Sirius couldn't be bothered. They were smoking weed on the windowsill. Sirius always loved Remus' apartment because it was close to the train station, and you could hear and see the trains. Sirius found it soothing.

"Do you ever just watch a train about to leave and think 'what if I get into it' ?" he asked randomly.

They were always having weirdly deep conversations when they smoked together. Sirius loved it.

"Err- not really ?" Remus answered, but it was more a question than anything.

"I used to think that all the time when I was still living with my parents. Anywhere better than there, y'know ?"

Remus nodded and gave him a comforting smile. Just enough to make him know he was listening, not enough to make him feel pressured to say more, or weird for oversharing. Just perfect, like it always was with Remus.

"Well, I mean, it was either that or the urge to jump under the train." he joked.

"Oh my god, Sirius !" Remus said with a startled kind of laugh and wide eyes like he didn't know if he was supposed to laugh or not.

But Sirius chuckled so Remus visibly relaxed and huffed, before turning his gaze out the window. Sirius kept looking at him. The night breeze was softly messing up his curls, and the moonlight made his features look softer than usual. He was even more soothing to look at than the trains.

"Where would you even go?"

"Mh ?" Sirius didn't listen, too enraptured by his observation.

Remus looked at him once again and suddendly, Sirius realized how close they were. Their legs were touching because the windowsill wasn't designed for two grown men to sit on it.

"If you took a train. Where would you go ?"

"Anywhere. That's the good thing. The adventure." he spoke the last part with a wild kind of grin which made Remus smile back. So he felt positively adventurous and didn't stop there.

"You know what ? We should do it. Take a train."

"What ?" Remus asked in disbelief.

But Sirius was on a ride that couldn't be stopped. "Yes ! Just, any train, as soon as there is one."

Remus just laughed. "You're mad. You're actually mad. I don't even know if there's any train leaving London we could take. It's literally two o'clock."

"So ? I don't see what the issue is." And then, making sure to look Remus in the eyes and to pout just a little. "Come on, Moony. Don't you want to go on an adventure with me ? It'd be just you and me."

He saw a furtive glint in Remus' eyes at the last part and knew he won. In fact, his friend took out his phone and seemed to be looking for something on it for a few seconds. Sirius was hooked on whatever he was going to say next.

"There is only one train with seats available. It takes off at 6 and goes to some random ass village in Scotland."

Sirius leaned forward, closer to Remus, and whispered, "Let's take it". Remus smiled and whispered back, "Okay, Pads. Let's do it."

After that, Sirius' smile couldn't be larger. He took a drag and blowed the smoke in Remus' face, who swatted at him. That was going to be a good trip.

That's how, four hours later, they found themselves on an old train, ready to leave for Scotland. The seats were rather small so their thighs were touching. Neither were making any effort to keep them apart. They hadn't slept so Sirius was dozing off on Remus' shoulder. In his sleepy and drug clouded mind, everything was perfect.

"Dear travelers, welcome aboard this train to Hogsmeade station, Scotland."

[localgremlinboy]

I have been sitting on these for a long time because I wanted to have some more varied stuff but I haven't had time to write anything! So here's what I've got! Honestly these are some of my favorites

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]

- Whenever he's kicked out of an area or event, Oswald proceeds to start shoving anything not taped down into his pockets. He doesn't need the stuff, he just likes to be petty and ruin it for everyone else

- Bane has done a series of infomercials for various products & services that only air on late night product channels. Alfred is the only batfamily member who knows, he was doing laundry late one night and nearly lost it

- Mr Freeze writes restaurants/companies when they wrong him. Like nice formal letters, signing them and everything

- The Joker has an imdb page. Actually a lot of the villains do but like the Joker has one he updates with fun facts. Who says they're accurate but they sure are fun

- Riddler freaking hates puppets. Their soulless eyes say it all. He refuses to or "work" with puppets. That being said, Scarecrow has chased him around with Scarface once or twice "for science"

- Scarecrow has and still does write letters of recommendation for his ex students. He freaking still has Gotham University letterhead paper and everything. Honestly some of his students have gotten the job from his letter alone (maybe it's out of fear but like it's still a win), and they 100% send Jonathan thank you gifts in Arkham. He's got one of those dorky teacher scrapbooks where he keeps the thank you letters. One of his students even crocheted him a little plush scarecrow. It's like, they don't love his crimes but you know that was ol kooky professor Crane for ya

- Harvey kind of has a soft spot for sitcoms, he used to watch them with his mom growing up. One of their favorites, ironically, was night court

- Bane has a famous chili recipe and he makes one batch a year. It's fucking delicious! He makes an edition with meat and a vegetarian version too. Of course consults Ivy for home grown excellent quality vegetables and she gets first dibs in return

- the Joker has not one but TWO released albums. One is essentially a mash up of all the serenades he's made Batman listen to over the years and the other one is called "The Holidays with the Joker: Christmas selects edition"

- Scarecrow's car is a mess. He's got a work truck of course but his main car is like a wood panel sedan that he's been driving since he was a professor and refuses to get a new one. It's a fucking mess, he has like clothes, papers, garbage all over the place. He still has term papers he forgot to grade under the seats. Riddler HATES his car, with a passion

- Riddler has gone through the pain and suffering to teach all the rogues how to use discord, he had once hoped it would make their crimes more efficient. They have a group chat but it's mostly suffering on his end as all chaos ensues

- Scarecrow owns a Halloween train village he has set up in one of his lairs. It plays instrumental versions of Halloween songs as it goes around the track

- Joker will push open cups off of tables because he can. He's got the chaotic energy of a cat awake at 3 am

- Riddler and Scarecrow's friendship starts like super formal and co worker like but after like a year and a half, evolves into a weird symbiosis. Jonathan points at random ass objects or books and goes "you" when he's with Edward. Eddie has a habit of fixing or picking debris of Jonathan, usually when they're crimeing. Also one time, they were both startled so bad by Batman that Scarecrow jumped into riddler's arms like Scooby & shaggy, except they both held onto each other for a second before toppling over. Robin then unmasked them like scooby doo

- Harley & Ivy are frequent Panera customers and often get pick up orders there under "codenames" given by Harley. All the workers know who "Plantmamma" and "the quinnanator" are but like they tip great and everyone should get to enjoy soup

- Bane has one CD in his car, it's a 2010 greatest hits CD that someone accidentally left in there. Who you ask? He has no idea

- Harley has a getaway playlist preloaded in her phone for car chases

- Riddler and Scarecrow watch reality tv/game shows together. They binged all of survivor and the amazing race in a year. It was a joke at first but they both got really into the shows. They have both applied to be on amazing race together and unfortunately haven't been called back

- Joker still uses cassettes (and vinyls probably) except he mixes them himself and labels them all stupid titles like "Birthday bash #9", "Baty's mix", "what's the deal with airplane food?", "etc". But he also has a tape recorder and makes notes to himself and labels those ones too, so he gets his personal notes mixed up with his music jams all the time. He goes to put on some epic clown music and instead it's a twenty minute recording he made of himself eating fruit loops

[bokutosbiceps]

real deal

kure raian x f!reader | smut + some fluff | 2.2k words

summary: raian comes home from a job to find that you’ve replaced him with a little piece of plastic. he decides to show you why the real deal is always better

warnings: mentions of murder, cursing (it’s rai omg), nsfw under the cut, use of sex toy, cunnilingus, throat fucking, choking/gagging, pussy eating, fingering, rough sex, possessive sex, mating press, dirty talk

a/n: i’m dedicating this to @thebigevilsamp + @missmadness123 because i used to thirst over raian with these two so i figured you guys would appreciate this 🥹 i’m sorry for leaving LOL. oh + also @kenganparadise + @kengan-ass because i enjoyed their writing at the peak of the fandom 💕

18+ MINORS DNI

Raian swung his keys around on his index finger as he strolled back to his car, whistling a tune he’d had stuck in his head throughout his entire job. Erioh had sent him to kill some asshole who had been embezzling money from one of Erioh’s oldest friend’s company, and Raian couldn’t have been less intrigued. 

The job was easy, since the target was just an old dude. A simple squeeze of his hand had snapped the old man’s fragile cervical spine, extinguishing the last bit of life the guy had left in him. Whatever, he was probably going to die within the next 10 years anyways. But however easy the job was, it was equally long. The target rarely ever worked given his old age, and it took forever to get intel on when the old bag would show up to work. Raian was never able to figure out where he lived, either. He didn’t understand how old people could be so elusive.

I’ve just gotta go report back to old man Erioh and then I’ll finally be able to get home. Raian grunted to himself as he weaved in and out of traffic on his way to Kure Village. I wonder how my bitch is doing… Raian’s expression softened as he thought of coming home to you after being away for so long on this job. He would probably never get used to being received with such excitement and love when returning home from a job. Deep down, he loved it. And deep down, he missed you more and more as the days apart from you passed. He appreciated the short but sweet texts you would send him, telling him that you were thinking of him, or that you missed him, sometimes even complete with a cute or sexy photo of you.

Maybe he should do something nice for you. Since he was in a good mood.

Raian sneered as he slammed his car door shut after pulling up to a random supermarket. Dumb bitch, making me get her flowers. Why do women even like flowers? They’re so useless, can’t even eat them or use them as a weapon. Fucking hell. He grumbled to himself as he picked up some flowers, already knowing exactly which kind he would get since he had taken note of what types of flowers you liked to adorn the kitchen table with in the house. He could be observant when he wanted. He threw some cash at the cashier and stalked back to his car, speeding to Kure Village so he could debrief Erioh and be on his merry way to your arms.

“It’s finished, old man.” Raian leaned against the door frame to Erioh’s office, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he watched his grandfather raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“I’m surprised it took you so long. I was starting to wonder if you’d finally pissed someone off enough to get yourself killed.” Erioh cackled at how quickly Raian’s smirk disappeared.

“Kill? Me?” Raian snorted. “You know better, you old bastard, no one can kill me.” Raian straightened once he remembered your flowers were resting in the front seat of his car, likely shriveling up in the sweltering heat of the afternoon. “I’m leaving. If you need anything else, don’t.” Raian turned on his heel and waved to Erioh as he exited his house.

“Raian.” Erioh called out to him and Raian huffed as he turned back around to face his grandfather, glaring at him expectantly. “I’m giving you the next two weeks off. Spend some time with your woman.” Erioh smiled slyly and sat down at his desk. “If I’m going to be appointing you as head of the clan anytime soon, I’ll be wanting to see that you are capable of upholding your bloodline.” Erioh gave Raian a pointed look. “Get busy.”

Raian scoffed as he continued to make his way out of Erioh’s house. Way ahead of you.

It took Raian less than 3 minutes to drive the short distance from Erioh’s house in the depths of Kure Village to his own home somewhere in the upper ring of the village.

He unlocked the front door and entered the silent house with flowers in hand, somewhat disappointed that you weren’t jumping into his arms to greet him like you usually did. It’s what he got for trying to surprise you with his return.

“Y/n?” Raian called out as he walked from the front room to the living room, stopping in the kitchen to set the flowers down on the table next to the vase filled with almost identical flowers. He heard a small buzzing noise coming from down the hall and followed the noise to the bedroom. What he found was a delicious sight.

You were lying on the California king, legs open wide, chest heaving, and lips parted in pleasure as you held something small and colorful and vibrating to your clit.

“Hmm, the fuck is going on here?” Raian’s deep drawl shook you out of your haze of pleasure, causing you to immediately close your legs and sit up in slight fear and embarrassment.

“Rai, I didn’t know you were coming home.” Your voice was breathless, your hair slightly tousled, and your cheeks held a shade of arousal that Raian found so delectable. He approached the bed in one long stride and snatched the vibrator out of your hand before you could even think to hide it. “I missed you.” You said bashfully, watching as Raian inspected the toy that fit in between his large fingers.

“You missed me so you tried to replace me with this thing?” Raian challenged, crushing the vibrator between his fingers and shifting his gaze to you.

“Nothing can replace you, Rai.” You sat up onto your knees to become level with Raian, who was still standing by the bedside, now brushing the remnant of your brand new vibrator onto the floor. You slid your hands underneath his shirt and up his chest. “Fusui just…suggested it to me. She knew I was missing you and you never told me when you’d be back…a girl has her needs, y’know.”

“So did that little fucking toy satisfy your needs?” Raian seized your hands with one of his hands and used his other hand to grip your face. You shook your head in blatant and hurried denial. “Good, I’m glad my bitch knows the difference between a piece of plastic and the real deal.”

Raian wasted no time in pushing you back on the bed and placing his knees on either side of your naked body, dragging his shirt off while you made quick work of his belt and pushed his jeans down to expose the bulge in his boxers.

“You see how hard I am already, bitch? This was your plan all along, hm? For me to come home and see my bitch all laid out on the bed for me, ready to be fucked?” Raian sank his teeth into your shoulder, rutting his hips so that his bulge was rubbing against your pussy. You gasped at the sudden contact and wrapped your legs around his hips obediently, giving him more access. “Good girl.” He growled, moving his hands down to squeeze and knead your ass.

“Rai, fuck—I missed you, so much.” You breathed, bucking your hips against his boxers, getting them soaked in your arousal.

Raian sat back on his heels, eyes raking over your naked body which was trembling with excitement at the evening ahead of you. He looked down at his boxers and frowned. “Dirty girl, huh? Getting my boxers all wet with your pussy juices.” He stood up briefly to take off his boxers, releasing his girthy cock and letting it slap against his lower abdomen. You drooled at the site of his pre-cum leaking out in beads from his tip.

Raian kneeled back on the bed and grabbed a fistful of your hair, coaxing your lips closer to his cock until it was fully shoved down your throat. He warmed his cock in your throat until he noticed tears forming at the corner of your eyes and decided to give a good, strong thrust into your mouth, causing you to gag.

“My bitch is gonna gag on my cock, huh? Did you miss the way it tastes? Are you gonna take all this cum for me?” He bullied you, fucking your throat despite your gagging and choking until he was shooting ropes of cum down into your stomach. He slid out of your mouth and let you catch your breath while pushing you back down on the bed and pressing kisses down your neck, to your breasts, to your navel, before placing a chaste kiss to your clit, making you whine and arch your back.

“Does my girl want me to fuck her cunt with my tongue?” Raian smirked at your whining as you twisted his hair in your fists, trying to push your hip into his face. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“I want you t-to fuck me, Rai.” You breathed. “I missed your cock so much, baby.” Raian clicked his tongue before pushing one, then two, then three fingers inside of you, eliciting a high pitched whine from you that originated from deep in your chest.

“Not yet, bitch.” Raian pumped his fingers in and out of you as he licked a stripe up your clit. “I’ve gotta torture you first.” Raian continued fucking you with his fingers and licking and sucking on your clit until your thighs were trembling and he was sure you were about to cum. Just when you felt like you were about to fall over the edge, Raian abandoned your pussy, making you shiver slightly at the cold air that replaced his touch.

You lifted your heavy head to see Raian kneeling again, stroking his cock and spreading his pre-cum to make sure he could fuck you easily. You eyed his cock hungrily, remembering how just moments ago that thing had been shoved down your throat so far you could barely breathe.

Without any warning, Raian hoisted your legs onto his shoulders and leaned down in between your legs to lick greedily up your neck before capturing your lips in a rough kiss, almost feral, that left you dizzy. Raian’s lips put you into such a trance that the pressure of Raian pushing his cock inside of you made you squeal in surprise, throwing your head and arching your back, making Raian’s angle inside of you even deeper.

“Fuck, babe, how could I resist the feeling of your pussy squeezing my cock like this?” Raian picked up the pace, bottoming out with every thrust. “How much did you miss me?” Raian gripped your chin and forced you to look at him, but your eyes were rolling into the back of your head from the pleasure of Raian’s cock filling you up. “Look at me, bitch, tell me how much you missed me fucking you like this.”

You willed yourself to meet Raian’s feral gaze, which made your walls squeeze around Raian’s cock even tighter as he fucked you into the bed. “I missed you so much—baby, I-I dreamed about you coming home and—f-fucking me just like this.”

“Hm, good answer.” Raian's pace started to become erratic and his hips stuttered. “I think I’m gonna let you cum. Is that what you want?” You managed to moan out a yes as Raian’s thrusts became rougher and he squeezed your hips with his fingers, hard enough to leave bruises. He growled as he neared his release and the sound was the final straw to bring on your climax. Raian was not far behind you and he released into you as he bit your bottom lip before smoothing it over with his tongue.

Once he was sure he had emptied the last drop of his cum into your cunt, he slipped out of you and threw himself down onto the bed next to you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his chest. He let you catch your breath before continuing his bullying.

“So me or the toy?” He asked through a smirk. You huffed.

“Rai, shut up. I was just desperate, you were gone for a long time.” You said the last part quietly.

Raian felt a twinge of guilt poke him in the chest. He frowned and ran his hands down your back, squeezing your ass. “Sorry.” He mumbled. Two weeks didn’t seem like that long when he was focused on a job, but he had never thought of how long it must’ve seemed to you when you had to deal with his family every day.

“It’s fine.” You stifled a yawn and curled yourself further into Raian’s chest. “Just as long as you come back to me every time.”

The corner of Raian’s mouth turned upward into what could have been regarded as a smile, had you seen it. He just grunted in agreement. Nothing could keep me away.

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

The Mercs take Y/N to a nearby carnival in the badlands

WARNING: Chaos ensues. Why the fuck would you take them anywhere?

Scout:

- He’s fine with this. He used to love going to carnivals. It was all him and his family could afford on weekends.

- You’re somewhat bothered by the heat but he’s resilient as fuck. “You want me to grab you some water, babe?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer. Returns in fucking milliseconds with water. You don’t know how he’s so damn fast.

- Sits on the fariswheel with you, he had planned this to be super romantic but he feels awkward. He tries to lighten the mood by standing up in the car and whacking his ball into the poor crowd of people. “Watch this. This is for you, babe.” The sandman ball hits a guy in the face and probably kills him. You’re pretty convinced he’s not alive anymore. “Home run!” He calls out. “Woooo!”

———————————————————-

Solider:

- EXCITED. EXCITED. EXCITED. If he were a dog he’d be wagging his tail. For all the wrong reasons. You know full well you’re in for a ride. It’s not a thrill ride.

- He takes the shooting games way too seriously. Gets mad when he doesn’t get the plush toy prize and pulls out his actual stock rocket launcher to rely on pure splash damage. (Where the fuck did he even hide that?) They’re forced to hand him his prize in fear for their lives.

- If you lose a game, he beats the shit out of the person running the stall. He insists it’s their fault and the game was rigged. Your shot is flawless.

- You leave him alone for TWO SECONDS and he’s already harassing a random bird on the fence he believes to be a Russian drone. Children are staring at him. You can’t take this man anywhere.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- He’s not used to this. He went to the Highland games as a kid. Never really had a carnival around his village. He experiences a bit of awe and intrigue as you walk the streets with him. He’s still in his vest and the people of Tuefort are heckling him. They know he’s one of those annoying mercenaries. He thinks this is fucking hilarious.

- He hates the food though. Eugh. He discovers pretty quickly he has a dislike for fried chicken. Insults America’s tastes to hell and back. Almost fucking vomits when he tastes the mac and cheese. What the fucking hell is wrong with you people?

- “Err.. Dontae think those rides are a bit dangerous?” He asks, jutting his thumb behind him. He doesn’t notice the kiddy rollercoaster breaking into pieces behind him followed by screaming families. He’s probably too used to that sound to process it coherently.

- Suspiciously eyes the men setting up the fireworks for tonight. He glares at them while sipping the cheap alcohol he begrudgingly bought at one of the food stalls. Nitpicks them for setting them up wrong. He sets them up himself but the fireworks nearly kill everyone. Turns out he made them more efficient. By that I mean deathly. “No, sweetheart. they’re FIREWORKS. FIREWORKS.” you tell his drunken stupid ass.

—————————————————————

Engineer:

- Oh fuck he’s excited. He had good memories going to carnivals as a kid. Eats like a fucking beast and doesn’t hold back. You watch this man consume more than his own body weight.

- Goes straight to the mechanical bull. Asks you to hold his cowboy hat he wore on the way here. “Sit back and let a big man like me show you how it’s done, darlin.” He doesn’t even fall off once. It looks like he’s barely even moving. He stands up on the fucking bull and flips off the last guy who ate shit on it. Embarrassing him in front of his kids.

- As you’d suspect he’s sort of insulting the lack of regular maintenance on the rides. Whilst in line for the Zipper he shakes his head like a disappointed father and scraps the rusted paint off the ride with his glove. Crushing it to dust between his fingers. Shakes his head some more and sighs.

- Congratulations. The state of these rides have broken this poor man. He can’t take it anymore. Take him to the petting zoo with the farm animals right now before he suffers a brain hemorrhage.

———————————————————————

Heavy:

- “What did little baby say about carnival?”

- He’s heard of carnivals in plenty of books but his life of isolation has prevented him from ever experiencing such a thing. The concept is almost alien.

- Well, he goes with you and he hates it. He looks like an incredibly discontent kitten the entire time. As you ride with him in all the kiddy rides, he looks even more pissed as he just so happens to break one of the rides upon sitting in it. The consequences of being a giant mass of muscle are truly unfortunate on this day.

- His face brightens up a little bit as you buy him a footlong sandwich. He’s never seen a sandwich this big before. He eats the entire thing within’ minutes.

- Finally you find a place in the carnival he somewhat enjoys but pretends not to. He hits the high striker so hard the bell fucking breaks and goes flying. He complains that this game is too easy — until he’s handed a cute little toy bunny of course. “I have been gifted rabbit?”

- Everybody is now batshit afraid of him.

———————————————————————-

Pyro:

- YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Bouncing in the car the entire way there. Miss Pauling had to drive you two there because Pyro doesn’t own a vehicle. She sighs in exasperation and asks pyro to“please quiet down, sweetie. Pauling is thinking.”

- You have a massive dog jumping off the walls of the car right now. They can’t sit still. Pauling is miserable. In other words, water is wet.

- Once she drops you off she makes you both swear to not catch anything on fire. It’s bad for business and doesn’t give them a good look. Pyro has no intentions of listening to her and heads straight for the fire eating performance. In their point of view; these people are somehow consuming rainbows.

- They do all sorts of things with you. Allowing you to lead the way to any attraction you felt drawn to. Whether it be trying to get dolls or getting on a ride. They seemingly want to do as much as possible before the sun goes down.

- after you tell them it’s late, they groan in despair but nod obediently. Prioritizing your guys’ shitty adulthood of work was sadly something that had to be done. They held your hand on the way back. Carrying a shit load of plush dolls in the other massive glove.

- “Did you two have fun?” Miss Pauling asks, you swear she puts on a motherly voice just for pyro. He excitedly claps his hands and agrees with her. She blinks though and sees the chaos behind you. You trace her gaze with confusion, wondering what she was gawking at. For some reason the entire carnival was on fire and you didn’t even notice on your way out that it spread to pretty much every corner.

- You both look back at Pyro. They’re holding a match. Of fucking course. Miss Pauling rubs her face. “I’ll call the firemen..” She sighs in defeat.

————————————————————-

Sniper:

- “Carnivals are stupid.” He says, a lit cigarette between his teeth. “Jus’ mediocre entertainment. Not even good. Believe it or not I have standards for my own personal pleasure as well. I’m not going to some stupid thick headed colonel sanders’ freakshow to eat hot grease n’ Emu legs.” You have to correct him that it’s technically turkey legs. “Whatevea mate.”

- You somehow manage to convince him anyway. But he was doing this only for you. He growls as you drag him by the hand onto the carnival grounds. Wishing he was back in bed. He glares at everybody who even dares breathe in his direction.

- He likes the farm animals well enough but quickly diverts his attention away in slight intrigue upon seeing the shooting gallery. You are thrilled and BEG him to win a prize for you. “There’s no way in hell i’m doing that, love.” You want to see this guy in action and the look of shock upon everybody’s faces as Sniper beats multiple children.

- Well.. Okay. But only because you keep inflating his ego with your compliments. He goes up, gives the person in charge his money, and brings the scope to his eye. Multiple kids are in the gallery next to him and missing every single shot on the fake cardboard animals. He mutters an insult to their ineptitude. He doesn’t even have to look to know they didn’t land a shot.

- Sniper takes down literally all the targets within’ seconds. Including the ones that the poor children were shooting at. Every. single. cardboard animal.

- The person running the stall begrudgingly gives him the biggest teddy bear they have. The Teddy bear that multiple families present were wanting to get in the first place. Kids are complaining and parents are complaining. Life’s suddenly great. Sniper looks amused at the amount of attention and cracks a smile at you. He wonders how you knew this would make him happy.

—————————————————————————

Medic:

- “Ack! what complete nonsense! I am far too busy of a man for such boyish games!” He acts dramatic about it. Crossing his arms and turning up his nose.

- “Yeah but— what if somebody dies on the broken ass rides? That’s like free organs right there.” You say.

- “Hoo. Well, you do have a point. Alright! I’m convinced. But only this once.”

- Medic is actually rather terrible at the gun related games. He can’t aim precisely. At one point you found a crossbow related game and he held his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Realizing he had managed to hit everywhere but the desired target. You joke that hey— at least a life isn’t on the line this time. He passive aggressively slaps you over the head lightly with his glove and moves to the next game.

- You go to the bathroom and come back to see him dragging a bloodied dead body into his car. “Ah, I’d explain but it’s a rather long story!” he says enthusiastically. Accidentally holding up his equally bloodied ubersaw, and then immediately hiding it behind his back.

- He won’t go on the rides. He’s bold and brash but he isn’t an idiot. He knows full well those things aren’t structurally sound. He stands up tall in his usual thinking pose. A finger to his chin as he takes in the sight of the rides. “What are you thinking?” You ask him. He grins at you. That disgusting, devilish, i’m-making-an-evil-plan grin. You are now scared.

- He steals an entire fucking carnival ride for less than moral medical purposes. The ENTIRE FUCKING THING is in the back of his car and the car is chugging along. Wheezing and trying to get this thing back to the base. He’s going to break it apart and sow the parts onto a Frankenstein-like creature.

_________________________________________

Spy:

- Mother of god, can’t you guys go on a more relaxing date? One with less screaming, noisy music, and people? What about a nice five star restaurant? Or the park?

- He refuses to eat any of the food. At all. He’d rather starve in a ditch than eat such filth. Not even bothering with the alcohol. He avoids people like the plague and you’ll turn to ask him a question and WHOOOOSH! he won’t even be there until you reach your hand out and blink his invis watch by poking him. “Stop cloaking, pussy.”

- He literally begs you to choose another place. PLEASE. End his suffering. You swear you’ll find something here he enjoys though.

- You were standing in line for a ride and once you got to the front he had stepped out of line and said “Oh! after you.” In typical gentlemen fashion. Letting you go on the entire ride by yourself. You glare at him from the ride and he’s smirking mischievously. Waving his fingers to greet you.

- For the rest of the night he takes it upon himself to mess with you. You offer him some cotton candy and he hands it to a little boy in a stroller instead while nobody was looking. You saw that in the corner of your eye. “Im not fucking blind, Spy.” You say. He puts his hands behind his back innocently. “Oh, what? I consumed the wretched morsel like you asked!” “No, you didn’t Spy.”

[babiebom]

So, I was thinking and would like to make a small request, how about Harvey x medium!reader?I just want to know what that would be like 🫂

(Sorry if the English is bad 😔)

A/N: I used to watch this show about a medium and for some reason I thought it was one of those ghost show where they’re ghost hunters and then I found out it was like a fake show (scripted actors ykwim) and my whole world came crashing down.

Tw:talks about death, maybe some cursing

Bc: at least 10

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Avoiding ghost in Pelican Town was harder than you thought it would be

Having the town cemetery in the middle of town instead of in some far away corner meant that when you walked through town you had to keep your eyes ahead of you

It wasn’t hard to know if what you were seeing was a ghost or not

Only a couple of people lived in Pelican Town which meant it was easy to ignore someone that you knew wasn’t one of the handful of people currently living there.

When you had first moved in it was difficult, seeing the dead and not realizing that they were in fact dead and not some random villager

But now more than two years of staying in the town there was no way to make that mistake anymore.

Well there wasn’t anyway until a new family (a dad and his daughter) moved in

You had ignored them both and walked past them into Pierre’s because no one had told you that there were new people arriving

And they complained to Gus who was confused because the FARMER? Being RUDE? NEVER

He in turn asked Harvey what was going on because he happens to be the town doctor and also happens to be your boyfriend

Harvey is SUPER CONFUSED because HUH what do you mean they’re being rude let me check on them.

And when he comes to talk to you you’re just like……they’re REAL, LIVE people?????

And he’s like WTF do you mean real live people of course they are

And you have to play it off like you’ve been feeling off for a couple of days

But him being a doctor, that just makes him suspicious because you’ve never acted weird in the last couple of days, nor have you said anything about being off.

The way he cares about you is insane like

He will find out what’s going on he needs to make sure nothing bad is happening.

He is the nosy significant other that almost gets you caught if someone is blackmailing you or something.

He wears you down until you confess exactly what’s going on

And by wears you down I mean he looks at you with those big ass hazel eyes and you immediately break down and tell him.

He doesn’t believe you at least not at first and is like “haha babe are you sure you’re okay?”

So you take him out to the graveyard at 3 am.

You set up some candles and an ouija board in the middle of all the gravestones.

He still doesn’t believe you and is HELLA afraid like dude doesn’t like this AT ALL.

Unlike with witches Harvey is TERRIFIED of ghosts even if he doesn’t think they’re real (they are you see your grandpa sometimes when he visits)

At some point things pop off with the ghosts and thankfully before everything goes wrong you close all communication and connections to the other side.

He thinks it’s cool but would prefer to NOT have ghosts in y’all’s house.

[mixelation]

reborn au notes to self on minato's thought process for team 4

so, i'm thinking that minato has been working on the chunin exam mission for like. years. he doesn't super care about the show of unity a joint chunin exam would signal, but his public image is very "nice young guy with progressive ideas" so it seems in character. ibiki is the biggest asset he never got out of iwa in post-war negotiations, both in terms of value and because he's like. a whole ass human. he even offered to let iwa send a team to konoha's exams but they didn't bite.

so when iwa relents and says he can send a team to their exams, minato is pretty sure this is the one chance they're going to get for access to iwa for a very long time. itachi is technically a genin and also within the age range iwa gave him (they gave an age-cap SPECIFICALLY to reduce the chance of minato sending highly experienced genin who could cause shit) (hilarious), so itachi is picked first.

the problem is..... itachi's, like.......... personality??? no one likes working with him. within anbu the biggest appeal of having him as your captain is his insane mission completion ratio, but he's known to push people and then be mean about it and then also, he's 13 so you just end up humiliated. he makes insane calls and is then bad at receiving feedback about it because, very unfortunately, he's almost always right.

minato doesn't care about the suffering itachi will inflict on a jounin senei. but he does care about not royally fucking over the other two genin, so he needs genin that can handle itachi's personality and a jounin with a strong enough personality to not let him get under their skin/walk all over them (because itachi is significantly better than 99% of jounin and knows it), because the jounin still needs to be able competently teach the other two students. oh, also it needs to be someone who can work a multi-person transportation seal, because even itachi is like "yeah i could MAYBE solo this mission by just walking in and out with Ibiki under a genjutsu, but also there's so many variables that the chances of getting caught are higher than i'd like." minato is confident there's enough time itachi could be taught to help with the seal, but it's pretty complex and it needs to working exactly right the first time, so the other person needs to be someone who already knows it or has a solid background in fuinjutsu.....

.....and that basically leaves ONLY KUSHINA* even though he doesn't want to send her (one part she's his beloved wife and one part she's the JINCHURIKI) and he's not sure iwa would even let her in

*there's probably a handful of others, like kakashi, but we'll say they're either doing important other things or he doesn't think they can do the part where they have to competently teach two genin AND coral itachi (kakashi could probably coral itachi but maybe not then ALSO deal with teaching random other children). kushina could coral a rampaging tailed beast AND she's been pestering him for a team

on the flip side, kushina has a hiraishin seal incorporated into her bijuu seal, which is designed to be hidden so it'll pass any tests iwa does to prevent them from brining in a hiraishin (because this is every village's biggest fear and why minato is never getting invited to anyone's chunin exams). if shit REALLY goes down she can just summon him

i think the most elegant approach is planting a hiraishin seal and then minato doing the extraction himself, but that's not the best move for PLOT so i think i'll have him decide that this is also too risky... like the team getting caught risks war, but minato getting caught in iwa or even anyone just getting caught with/making a hiraishin seal basically guarantees war*

*no one told tori this

anyway his initial plan is kushina + itachi + two random genin who don't even get told there's an underlying mission and that itachi is ex-anbu. and then tori and deidara fall into his lap, and itachi himself is like "what about them"

I'm not sure how much time they get together as a team before the chunin exam. originally i was thinking six months to a year but now i'm leaning towards more like three. i like cutting the time down because i think completing this mission sort.... solidifies tori and deidara as konoha, both in their eyes and everyone else's.

this also means minato doesn't quite comprehend how insane both of them are until AFTER he's mentally sorted them into "konoha's precious genin." would he have recruited them if he'd KNOWN deidara might blow up a city block out of boredom or tori would would churn out forbidden jutsu at a rate that could rival tobirama? no he fucking wouldn't have. but now he's stuck with them. his wife keeps having them over for dinner. "i think you're favoring your wife's team by all this one-on-one attention you give them, and it's not fair to--" YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

[writer1queenjaysblog]

No one can love you the way I do.

(Yandere stepbrother Neteyam x Sho'ree! Sho'ree is the younger adopted sister of Neteyam who he's in love with her and when Jake talks about setting her up with Ao'nung things get dark and deadly. Neteyam 22 Sho'ree 19 )

(Warning ⚠️! Stepcest, smut, fighting, cursing, taboo affair, arranged marriage and mentions of pregnancy, blood, insanity and Neteyam gets put away for a psychic vow.)

Neteyam was the golden boy of the sully family there's no doubt about that. He was handsome, nice, sweet, charming, a great hunter and a great gentleman perfect for a future chief.

Perfect husband material perfect for a girl to pick him for a mate right? Wrong he didn't want them, the most beautiful girls didn't catch his eye they flirt with him only for him to look at them with distaste or disgusted as if he didn't even want to be around them at all.

Why? Because he wanted her Sho'ree his beautiful step sister and since after her mother passed away she was depressed but she quickly snapped out of it after she met her siblings and her dad Jake was happy that his daughter was happy again smiling that beautiful smile. Neteyam loves her unconditionally as if she was a random woman from the village but he couldn't have her because she was his sister..his stepsister he knew that what he was feeling was wrong but he couldn't help it.

He loved her in a way no stepbrother should love or look at his sister yet his ass memorized by her beauty her face, her eyes, her lips, her hair that flowed down her back like waterfalls in the forest where they used to fish and play. He saw her beautiful body as she was bathing his heart skipped a beat as he took off his loincloth and walked in the water behind her kissing her neck "Hey baby." He said as she turned around "Teyam!"

He giggled as he caressed her cheek "Stop what are you doing?" She said as he looked at her smiling "What does it look like? I'm hugging my woman."

He said as she pulled away he looked at her before laughing "Baby it's ok no one is around to see us plus I made sure." He said before kissing her neck having his tongue graze across her skin as he moaned into her skin touching her body "Teyam... Neteyam stop..stop." he stopped looking at her as she caught her breathe.

"What is it my love?" "Neteyam this is wrong." "What is wrong?" "This, you and me, us." He looked at her with a stone expression as he met her eyes "Why because I'm your brother?"

"Yes we're brother and sister we're not supposed to be doing -" "What? Doing what? Loving each other?"

"Neteyam." "Holding each other close, kissing each other, loving each other.. making love to each other?"

"We're siblings Neteyam we're not even suppose to see each other naked." "We're step siblings we have no blood connection so what we're doing isn't wrong." "Yes it is and father said that he had something to tell us at dinner."

At dinner Neteyam and Sho'ree kept exchanging looks at each other as Jake cleared his throat and smiled "Alright I've brought you all here for a important announcement."

"Ok dad what is it?" Said Neteyam his dad got up to greet Tonowari and Ronal as their son Ao'nung was there Neteyam couldn't stand him because he was always flirting with her and giving her gifts.

Ao'nung sat next to her as he smiled as did she "Neteyam, Lo'ak, Kiri, Tuk I know that you guys are probably wondering what is going on here and we have been talking."

"We've been thinking about you and Ao'nung how close you guys been and how in love you are." Said Tonowari as Neteyam looked up at them seeing Ao'nung holding her hand.

"With the blessing of both sides of the families and having this discussion with Jake we have arranged for Sho'ree and Ao'nung to be married."

Neteyam looked shocked "What?!" He said as Lo'ak was also shocked "Dad are you serious?" "Yes Lo'ak plus your sister seems happy with Ao'nung."

"Dad he can't marry her!" "Neteyam that's enough." "Why can't I have her as my wife? You don't trust me?" Neteyam glared at him "No..I don't trust you with my little sister after what you pulled on us when we got here and what you did to my sister."

He remembers that time he left her out in the sea alone, picking on her, and called her a freak. "I know what I did in the past but let's put that behind us once I become your new brother -."

"You are not my brother! You could never love her the way she deserves!" "That's enough Neteyam! Tonowari I'm sorry about my son-." "It's alright Jake I see that he's protective of his little sister and I understand how he feels but I can assure you that me and my wife have raised our son as the perfect mate for her."

Said Tonowari as Sho'ree was confused and was stuck in the middle in a hard place. On one hand she was in love with Neteyam having a strong bond with him and never wanting to leave him but on the other she also built a bond with Ao'nung and shared a kiss with him they haven't gone all the way but he wanted to.

"Neteyam please -." She said trying to calm him but he glared at him and stormed off "Brother -!" She said as she felt hurt he probably thought she had something to do with it.

Later

After dinner Sho'ree went looking for Neteyam hoping he was ok. She looked all over for him then she remembered their spot no one knew about she thought that were he was.

She got closer to their spot hearing moaning her stomach sank at the bottom hearing a moan then she went to go look and she blushed. There she found him jerking off moaning and drooling "Ahh..ahh Sho'ree ohh Sho'ree I can't wait to hear your voice moaning my name loudly ~!"

She stepped out "Neteyam?" He stopped seeing her beautiful body her pretty face that was his saving grace "S-Shoree.. Sho'ree baby sister please..help me." It was rut season and Neteyam was in heat.. badly in heat."

"I knew I smelled it are you ok Nete?" "No I want you so badly." "Neteyam-." "Don't marry him.. please. Please Sho'ree I-i can be your husband I'll be a better mate for you he WILL never love you the way I do!"

He said as he pushed her on her back on top of her breathing slowly but heavily "Sho'ree please let me love you." "Neteyam... I-." Tears weld in his eyes as he bites his lip "Sho'ree! Please I need you badly!" He said tugging at her loincloth "Yes yes Neteyam you can have me." He smiles as she takes off her loincloth and slowly lowered herself on his hard throbbing cock.

"Please don't ever leave me baby I love you he could never make you feel the way I do." She began riding him feeling his grip on her ass get tight "Ahh! Ah! Ooh Sho'ree ohh Sho'ree!"

He moaned he couldn't help but scream her name "No other woman can make me feel the way you do! I love you so much I don't want to be your brother I want to be your mate!"

He said she was a mess and her mind was melting while inhaling Neteyam's scent and his heat smelled good intoxicating her "Neteyam you don't mean that!" "Yes I do!" "Neteyam Neteyam! Ohh Neteyam ahh yes!" "Your..mine all mine no one else can have your body but me I'm yours and your mine!"

He said as he leans forward having her fall backwards as he thrusts inside her feeling her wet slick walls squeezing him with each thrust "Ah! Ohh fuck Neteyam ohh Eywa!" He couldn't help but lose control as he went faster "Ahh ahh yes! Sho'ree I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum sister I'm close!"

She moaned gripping his shoulder clawing his left shoulder "Ahh yes yes Sho'ree ohh Sho'ree yes! Ohh my love, my baby girl, my goddess!" He said as his eyes rolled in the back of his eyes before painting her walls with his seed "Ahh yes." Coming off his high and falls on top of her as she breathes heavily calming down "You.. are amazing Sho'ree Ao'nung can't have you."

"What do I tell him?" "You haven't excepted the proposal?" "No I told dad I'd think about it." He smiled as he knew he had a chance "Don't worry baby big brother will take care of it."

"Ok dad said me marrying Ao'nung he'd provide me a staby, safe, and comfort future like he promised my mom and yours." "Don't worry big Neteyam will protect you.. always."

(Part 2 coming let's see how many comments, likes, reblogs this baby gets!"

[kiko---random-stuff-probably]

Expanding your army- a random cotl oneshot

Basically Shamura finding a 3ish years old black cat and deciding that yes, he will definitely become a great god. Their brother Kallamar is way more skeptic.

Kallamar was busy collecting the various paperwork in Shamura's office. As their brother and second in command, he was the only one trusted with those documents, and he kinda wished that either his sibling started to actually stop doubting of their generals loyalty, or became organized.

The door behind him swinged open, and Kallamr didn't had to turn around to see who it was.

- Sibling, you're back. One of our spies found an interesting piece of information about the holder of the blue cr...-

- Your personal vendetta can wait. I found something way more important.-

Kallamar turned around, offended and ready to claim that no, hunting down the god under wich he almost got killed for a stupid belief wasn't in any way guided by his trauma, but he stopped himself, staring at the small black kitten his sibling was holding.

- Why do you have a kid with you.-

- He will be our new brother.-

The cat was straight up staring inside Kallamar's soul, head empty.

- His fur is stained with blood and mud.-

- I know.-

- Sibling, where the fuck did you find that thing?-

- Nearby a graveyard, I suppose he either wondered away from a raided village or his parents died nearby.-

- Why would you just claim a random ass creature you found among corpses as a brother?!-

- Wasn't it the same situation with you?-

- Well unlike me the baby you are holding is at most four, plus just look at him!-

The cat blinked out of sync.

- I do not see anything wrong with him.-

- Seriously?! How the fuck are we supposed to take care of that infant while litterally planning a war?! Just give him to a soldier or whatever.-

- Listen, I know he will become a great warrior.-

The kid meowed, starting to get annoyed for being kept lifted from the ground that long.

- Let me guess, you had a vision?-

- Even better. I have a good feeling about him. Hold him for a second.-

- KEEP IT THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME-

- No seriously, hold him for just a second- the spider basically shoved the dirty kid to Kallamar, that grabbed him and holded the cat at arms lenght, absolutely pained for the stain of mud blood and whatever the hell was on that thing fur the kitten just left on his robes.

- Why-

The kitten looked almost as pissed as Kallamar. He sticked out his tongue, causing an offended gasp from the squid.

- You take that back.-

The kitten booped Kallamar's face with an hand.

The squid took a deep breath.

- I suppose you won't chamge your idea.-

- I am not planning to.-

Kallamar sighed - I will clean him, but after this I will not, in anyway, take care of this thing - he holded the future god of death with one hand like it was a dirty tissue.

- Sure thing, brother. I will see you later at the meeting woth our generals.

As soon as Shamura left the office, Kallamar sticked out his tongue to the cat.

[gemsofgreece]

Now stfu. Thanks :)

Oh wow. I kinda expected, you know, a page in an encyclopedia or any other page with educative content about Greece or geography in general, but you come proudly with a random Turkey vs Greece article by a David dude.

Honey. You will find anything spelled out on the Internet, including actual mistakes. That's why we check our sources. In fact, this article has many other mistakes as well.

False. Turkey gets more tourists than Greece.

False. The Turkish Republic is exactly 100 years old and the Ottoman Empire lasted about 600 years.

Where to start with this one... If Greece is famous for anything, that's not its urban locations.

Mistake #1: Aya Sofya is not famous because of its minarets and Mistake #2: Ephesus was built in the 10th Century BC, so its heyday or point in time it should be referred with was at least 900 years before the Golden Age of the Roman Empire. Although granted, a lot for its preservation was done in the Roman era.

OMG American mistake #18361986: Greece is NOT a tropical country and HAS ZERO tropical islands

Built by WHOM of WHAT? Perhaps David meant King Antiochus I Theos of Commagen, check an actual source for once

David is straight out pulling facts out of his ass, isn't he

"The major cities like Istanbul and Santorini" the guy is either trolling or hasn't stepped one foot in Greece ever. Santorini is a tiny island and its "major city" Fira has 1,600 residents LMAO my grandparents' godforsaken village has more than that

The guy does a super delicate trolling, I give him that. The guy says things like oceans and tropical and major city of Santorini but has also come across Slav-Macedonian. Amazing combo. David is a man of contrasts. For the record, I haven't come across it and I have lived all my life here. I mean, it exists but you have to struggle to find its speakers and they are all bilingual anyway.

Overall David, that international traveller, does not really mean bad... apart from this????

That was very professional there. But even though he says this, he proceeds to say equally good stuff about both countries, I 'd say. The article is a confusing text by a confused man. But that's not the point. The point is his myriad of inaccuracies and mistakes (as called out in several of the comments), some very typical of Americans, like mistaking Greece for a tropical destination or confusing oceans and seas.

Which brings us to you @libbyhaiku .

I believe, very politely, I added in the tags of that damn post this:

That really set you off. You sent me an ask, telling me to fact check in google... what... whether the country of which I am a native has seas or oceans?

And I did! Even though I don't need to fact check whether Greece has oceans. And once again every website of any actual integrity, apart from the David dude, repeats this over and over. Greece has seas. Which I told you.

Furthermore, @jamy-libations searched for it on their own accord, and to my understanding they are not Greek or native Greeks, they told you and you responded as you responded to me.

I wonder, did you tell them to shut the fuck up too in your message?

So, here's the answer. You and David are making a very typical American mistake, or maybe its not a mistake within your very own borders, which is that because the USA is surrounded by oceans, you think ocean is the standard generic term for sea.

In fact, the word ocean can be used in two ways: either as THE Ocean, which is the entire body of saltwater of the earth and derives as a concept from the Greek mythology, just like the very word derives from Greek so I know well what it means, or to describe the five major bodies of water: the Pacific, the Atlantic, the Arctic, the Indian and the Southern ocean.

Greece, unlike the USA, is surrounded by neither. Greece is surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea and its adjacent smaller seas like the Ionian, the Aegean, the Libyan, the Cretan, the Myrtoan, the Ikarian, the Karpathian Seas. While the Mediterranean Sea is connected to the Atlantic Ocean through the very narrow strait of Gibraltar, it is so enclosed by land and it exchanges so little water with the Atlantic that it is both traditionally and scientifically considered its own body of water, a Sea, and not just a general area of the Atlantic Ocean.

Here's to explain to you the difference between an ocean and a sea by an actually serious source.

Here is a map of the Mediterranean Basin. As you see, it is almost entirely enclosed and it does not earn the status of being an ocean, let alone containing a multitude of them. Greece is also in the far end of the Mediterranean, as apart from the Atlantic as possible. None of the countries in the Mediterranean Basin have access to an ocean or oceanS, apart from Spain, France and Morocco, as evident here.

Now, I would honestly have not cared or written so much if you didn't throw a tandrum for a tiny tag in a post I reblogged in a positive manner. Unfortunately, you chose the asshole way.

And since we're at it that photo was actually taken in the Italian....... oceans

and it's edited... but whatever, we have this species too.

[delicatebluebirdruins]

Not A Hero and End of Zoe cutscene talk

theres not a lot but they have some points (and I probably missed some for Not A Hero... I feel like I did)

Not A Hero

1. Lucas: "Is it ready? Can we begin? "I can't help it, man. We've got work to do."

Veronica: "Chris, did we lose him?" Chris: "No, no. Ethan Winters has been secured. He's alive and well, considering." Veronica: "And Lucas Baker? Right now, he's our only link to The Connections." Chris: "He's next on my list.“

we don't learn who Lucas is talking to but we do know its not the connections. Lucas is a double agent selling data to have another group about Evie (and from one of the files we learn why. he thinks the connections won't use Evie properly)

two options: normal feedback from the guys in helicopter when they were flying away and Veronicas comment about how Lucas is their only link lends to that.

but also CONSIDERING WHAT? have you seen RE1 hd Chris alternative outfit looking like the most douchy thing known to man? you know don't judge a book by its cover. But all jokes aside he says this with assurance as if he knows Ethan. And they knew he was going to be there that's what it sounds like to me anyway

2. "dialogue: experiments with an e-type variant": aka these fuckers: fumers and mama molded (later on "I have no idea. its something new. Proceed with extreme caution... white variant is extremely resilient")

3. the son of a bitch has been sending status reports on Evie to the connections: self explanatory this is confirmation of their previous thoughts (briefing document you find in Chris's inventory at the start) and there is a moment of Chris expressing his distaste of working with Blue Umbrella.

4. "if you're gonna kill me just kill me for the love of god shut the fuck up"... no analysis just big ass mood really

5. "Umbrella and Redfield have been taken care of. dealing with them cost me some time cost them a lot more. But I can still get that data to you but we're quits after that" I am going to say this was towards the connections and not the other party but i don't know for sure

6. Lucas "a lot of people out there want to know about out little Evie. a lot of people" Chris: "Your friends, the connections know about this they don't strike me as the forgiving type"

Who are the other people? what was Lucas's plan after he completely betrayed the Connections (... why did Lucas betray the connections? we can infer the why as again he thought they won't use her properly) and of course the criminal organisation won't be forgiving at outright betrayal (or even perceived betrayal for that matter) makes you wonder why explicity Ethan and Mia were moved to where they are in Village (and if they have been moved before)

7. Veronica: "Chris, the data transfer's almost complete!“ Chris: "How do I stop it?" Veronica: "You need a way to shut down the server. There may be some transformer relays you can—“ Chris shoots "OK… that worked. Gonna be some pissed computer techs up here, but—“ Chris: "Cry me a river. What's the sitrep?" Veronica: "The facility is clear. Even the newer breeds have been neutralized." Chris: "Then I'm outta here.“ Veronica: "Perimeter wall is up and operational.“ Chris: "Good. "Think we did any good here?“ Veronica: "Not for them, unfortunately, but the mold is contained. Hopefully, they're Evie's last victims.“ Chris: "Hopefully.“ Veronica: "Chris, there's a call for you. You need to take it back at the camp.“ Chris: "Alright. I'm on my way."

no thoughts about the first part of the bolded text other than it makes me sad. Chris has been in this so long and its just you know tiring for him

now the call back at camp. I am willing to bet that's its Ethan asking him to search for Zoe. And again I ask how can a random normal civilian get a direct line to anyone in this situation let alone Chris Redfield?

End of Zoe

Joe: "What the hell are you boys up to?“ Soldier: "That's her alright. Zoe Baker. She's still breathing. Call in to HQ."

I wonder who wants status reports? also did they get a chance (I hope the prisoner Joe takes took the chance whilst he was out got the call out)

...Soldier: "Listen to me. We're here to help.“ Joe: "No, I don't believe you, boy. Tell me—what kind of help comes in a helicopter gunship.“ Soldier: "You don't know what you're talking' about. You don't get it!“ Joe: "With all these monsters running' around here. Tell me—where'd they come from?“ Soldier: "It's not what you think. You don't understand!“ Joe: "Oh, I don't understand? "You see that girl back there? Look! That there my brother's little girl. My niece. You understand? And around here, family is a righteous cause! And you ain't gonna kill my family! Now see, that ain't something' I can abide.“

Joe was in the military in the Marines specifically but from his questioning he knows about outbreak military suppression groups maybe even aided in one such incident (and after getting discharged went to live in a shack in the swamp close enough to his family but far enough to not know a thing that's happening)

Soldier: "For fuck's sake. She's infected—she's dying—and we're both gonna fuckin' die if we don't get the fuck outta here right now!" Joe: "She ain't dead yet, boy! So I figure you better do something about it. Before I feed you to your little friends outside." Soldier: "OK, OK! "There's a cure.“ Joe: "You're lying to me." Soldier: "I'm not lying... I'm not lying. We were on our way to get her treatment, and you fucked that up when you jumped us! They're probably still waiting for us right now!“ Joe: "Where?"

Joe: "Soldier boy said the meds were at some kind of base... "Now where in all hell did this wall come from…?"

how did Joe miss the wall being constructed? other than him not being close and doesn't go in that direction when he goes hunting?

Joe: "Jack? What the fuck—" Joe: "Goddammit, Jack! Don't you remember your own brother? Don't do it! Don't you touch her! Jack! Let me the fuck outta here! I'm your family! How the fuck could you do this to me? Get me the fuck outta here, Jack!"... Joe: "Goddammit. Aw hell, Jacky-boy... What's happened to you?"

startling realisation and trying to reason with Jack but it won't work (again I think Joe drowned the screen goes black and he gets up at the Baker estate)

"attacked by unknown bioweapon"

Jack gets around quite a bit (considering he can teleport- it would be cool if what he was actually doing was disolving into the ground and reforming wherever he needs to go but alas the garage opening scene exists)

"You're just a rabid dog now. And I'm gonna put you outta your misery."

I had a thought so we see don't see Jack crystalise (I say calcify is better description) after the chainsaw fight but we do see him do so in the boathouse and his legs turn as well in this last boss so his upper half turned into the monster in the boathouse (kinda like fear street and the kids trying to blow up the killers and watching them reform though in this case its both reform and deform)

Joe Baker: "This is a farewell from the family, brother!... Zoe...!"

its just a badass line what can I say?

Chris: "Weapons down. Weapons down! It's alright. You must be Zoe Baker." Joe: "Who the hell's asking?" Chris: "Chris Redfield. We've been looking all over for you. We're here to help."

there is element of Chris helping look for Zoe being that she can be helped. that she wasn't a lost cause. But it seems like there was a lot of effort going into her search all for one person (also I wonder if their search is what woke Jack up or was Jack searching the entire time)

BEST CUTSCENE

Zoe: "I was trapped with those monsters for 3 years—all of them trying to kill me... I can't believe it's finally over.“ Joe: "Ya gotta know, deep down somewhere, they were still your family and they loved you. Especially your daddy... even in his final days.“ Chris: "We found her. She's a tough kid. Yeah, of course. Hang on."

"Someone wants to speak to you."

Ethan: "Zoe? Zoe, are you there?“ Zoe: "It's you! I don't believe it. You actually made it." Ethan: "We both did."

Zoe: "You didn't forget about me."

Ethan: "I told you I'd send help. And I always keep my promises."

Zoe: "Thank you, Ethan."

I wonder if whilst Zoe was being checked up they were explaining what happened to Joe and and Joe came to this rightful conclusion (Jack wanted to bring his baby home)

Chris updating Ethan on finding her over and handing the phone over. (I would love to know what the conversation was like on Ethans end and before Chris came into the tent)

Ethan has to have some kind of authority for some reason to be able to say this with confidence. And you know getting Chris to personally update him AND hand the phone over (again normal civilians can't do this?)

I love this bit what can I say