#no one look at the road default I fucked up somehow

[eulaliasims]

Okaaaaay, we're back to normal posts for the singular graduation party (because I simply don't have the attention span to play one for every household). Jayne gets the honor, and he's so excited that he didn't even put his phone away before changing into his cap and gown.

Lily: I can't believe we're sitting here, graduated, and we're both engaged! It's so exciting!

Rosalind: Oh yeah, definitely. By the way, do you and Arthur have an open re--

Lily: Ooh, hang on, that's my phone, it's probably my dad calling!

It's a Blanch heavy party--sorry, Lily. 😭 I'll have her family take her out to dinner to celebrate later.

[alex-multiverse]

Kh Worldbuilding headcanons: Destiny Islands Edition

No one ever talks about the original worlds in kh and i find that a travesty because these places are a really, REALLY good mine to play around with. (u can also use them or expand on them if you really like)

So im gonna share some HCs i have about the original kh worlds, starting with Destiny islands..... but before that some basics: also this is kinda long so under the read more it goes

In general:

Kh "worlds" arent really floating in space. the stylized icons we see in game are more akin to dimensional rifts rather than actual planets (seriously who thinks this is how the world looks fr)

Following on with the dimensional rift: as the "worlds" arent really pieces of the original world, they are something more akin as parallel dimensions or something along the lines of something like ff14 (mostly because i would rather die first than live in a world with 5 different versions of britain existing at the same time)

As much as dark road is cool, the explanation for the empty worlds is dumb and for the purposes of this exercise, instead ofthe worlds filling the people gradually after it is created, i consider that the worlds as they exist are the result of the surviving children of the war making their stories real in the fractured reality of the original world (it also follows the weird theme of reality/unreality that kh4 seems to go for) and it turning into a different version of earth as we know it, with some exceptions, such as monstropolis (which exists independently as a parallel land to earth in its canon) and Deep space (which is straight up NOT earth and was more like, the rift of lilo and stitch's world pointing at the high counselor's fleet BEFORE the actual movie started) and also the OG worlds who dont have something to be based on for reasons to be explained later.

the only world that exists in the ocean between as it is, is the Keyblade graveyard. because it was so majorly fucked up by the war it both shattered in the physical and dimensional way after it happened.

Now that that rant is out of the way, LETS GO TO THE MOST UNDERRATED WORLD IN THE SERIES:

Destiny islands is in fact, more than 2 islands, being a big archipelago with a bigger "main island" where our three protagonists live at. this one we have seen before in kh2

Destiny islands, is, by far, not the only chain of islands in the world. in fact, theres way more islands beyond the horizon.

We know the islands have a mayor, thus we know that they must have cordial diplomatic ties with different islands near them.

Due to FF characters existing here, i am very tempted to assure that some of the races from ff8 and ffX exist in this world (you are now imagining kimahri playing with a tiny kairi after diplomacy stuff with her dad just ended)

Due to DI being an original world, it is actually a shard of the original world that didnt really changed much compared to the other original ones. its major difference is that it is an ocean world like Wind waker hyrule or the Grand line from One piece

Magic is a real thing in the original worlds populace, you just really need to get good at it, learn it, be magical by default, or cheat and get a keyblade somehow

Religion in the og worlds strike me as something akin to the way people prayed to the aeons of yevon in ffx or the astrals of FF15. with people praying to the ff summons on a case by case basis and depending on their preference for patron gods. Ie: Leviathan being a goddess of the ocean and water who is prayed to by sailors or fishermen, while scholars prefer ifrit using an interpretation of the fire of knowledge. (you know. like a furry prometheus that doesnt get eaten by an eagle daily)

I'll probably go on more detail later, but for now, the summons that get prayed to the most in DI is probably Leviathan for the aforementioned reasons, Ramuh for nature and agriculture reasons, shiva for tradition and combat reasons (related to riku in my particular headcanon) And Titan for economical reasons, wow alex making the rock man into the economy guy i wonder where you have heard it before

Speaking of economy, DI currency totally has tiny paopu fruit symbols in its coins and bills, and its a legal course currency in its neighboring islands because they too dig the paopu fruit symbolism

Munny looks like malleable diamonds because it probably just morphs into the appropate currency depending on the world we're in, moogles only use them as they are because they are both the people doing synthing and also shady as hell. do not trust the pompom people.

Going back to the Paopu fruit: its quite a common tree fruit in the islands and in fact is industrially harvested in some islands both as an export and in-island use.

The paopu folk story is actually mostly just a misconception for an older tale. originally involving sailors and a promise to return home safe. it eventually turned into "sharing one will entwine your fates forever"

Paopu pastries are a common dessert, and paopu wine is used often in weddings.

Monsters ARE real in the islands and roam the most inhabited places. These are often hunt for game and for safety reasons

THAT MEANS, chocobos are also a thing people use in the most rural parts of the islands for fieldwork, transportation and sometimes food.

Blitzball is MAD popular and they Often do tournaments involving several islands. DI itself was almost a perpetual champion up until jecht retired, then they win every so often instead of always

Boating licenses are a thing, but kids can still use their little boats because they have to row them. think like, the difference between a bicicle and a motorbike.

There are bridges for tram systems between islands that are close to each other, usually reinforced for sea and storm reasons.

Legally speaking, equal marriage is a thing and even polyamorous ones because why being an ass about it.

Healthcare is mostly public, but there are Specialty care stuff in the main islands that costs money because of course it is

Because sora and riku are japanese names, i prefer the island to be something like a tropical japan, so most of the people in DI have japanese names.

That would be all for now. tune in next time when i tackle on Twilight town, who may or not be in perpetual twilight (is not)

[kiruuuuu]

Siege-o-ween ‘22, Day 6! 🏚️🩸

It is I again, dearest readers, with my seasonal offering of fic, prompted by @dualrainbow​‘s annual Siege-o-ween event! My thanks goes out to the one source allowing me to force some writing out of myself - thank you for organising this, dearest mods 💝 My prompt was “there’s a body in his trunk, what do I do?” which immediately screams of mayhem, so who best to cause experience it but my chaotic recruits? (Recruitverse, spook and chaos, Rating T, ~6.5k words)

.

“Do you think we’ll get to see a body?”, Shay asks apropos nothing into the middle of Gian’s and Jojo’s heated discussion over the benefits of wearing two different kinds of shoes.

“Unlikely”, Ivan speaks up, the simple motion of breathing in enough to press Jojo even further against the door of the tiny car. As it’s a British model, Shay was their only choice for a driver, meaning Gian as second tallest joined him in the front, which leaves the German squeezed in next to Ivan Ivanovic’s bulky frame in the middle and Valenti on the Russian’s other side, having a similarly uncomfortable time. “House was cleared out days ago. Sledge is just setting up safe house now.”

“That’s what Thatcher claimed, at least”, Valenti mutters, eyes glued to the navigation app. “Take a left here. I don’t see why they need all of us for a supply run.”

“Exactly!”, agrees Shay and switches on the right indicator. “It’s weird. And you even got your phone back for this.”

Jojo grimaces, not appreciating the reminder – Sledge must’ve suffered a bruised ego on a mission or something, judging by how he’s been hounding them recently, a vendetta which culminated in their phones getting confiscated for a week. It’s the fifth day now and Jojo is pretty sure at least ten people will assume he’s dead, even more will be convinced he’s ghosting them and leave quite unfriendly messages, and the backlog on all his dailies will be unmanageable.

“Left, Shay.”

“As scant as it is, I still harbour the hope they will involve us in their next endeavour and this happening turns out to be a briefing.”

“Yes! You’re right, who cares if we a see a body if it means we’ll get to create some”, Shay lets some of his latent psychopathy slip through (likely a manifestation of Brittany-related withdrawal) and makes a right turn.

“Hey! Left! I said – Shay, the other left! How do you not get lost in Hereford?!”

“He does. All the time”, Jojo cuts in helpfully, with Gian nodding. “It’s not a huge detour, is it?” He cranes his neck to glance at the smartphone but realises soon enough Ivanko is just too fucking wide to allow for any kind of wiggle room.

“I am trying to be as small as possible.”

“Great job with that, you’re sitting on half my leg”, Valenti barks at the poor Russian. “It’s a miracle you’re not fully in my lap right now. Left here, and I’m tapping your shoulder, Shay, so you know which direction to go, okay? This one. This is left.”

“Without knowing what to expect, somehow these woods appear to me the perfect hideout for a group of scoundrels”, Gian muses, eyeing the scenery flying past the window. They’re far out, on their way at first surrounded by nothing but empty fields and tiny huts, now past the tree line and rattling through badly-maintained roads while the twilight of the setting sun peeks through tall conifers. If Jojo’s current mood hadn’t defaulted to ‘generally annoyed’, he would probably feel a little… boxed in.

Well. Even more than by Ivanko’s frankly ridiculous physique.

“If you are so uncomfortable, you could sit on my lap.”

“What?! Under no circumstances, ever, would I do that. Why don’t you ask Jojo, huh?”

It’s obvious where this is going, and Jojo is not above taking the bait. He ignores the warning half-look he receives from over Gian’s shoulder and shoots back: “Because you’re a lot shorter than me. You’ll fit better.”

Before Valenti can explode in rage, their ever-harmonious American quickly offers: “We can switch places, if you prefer. I do not need the extra space.”

“Absolutely not, I’ll suffocate with you two back here!”, Jojo protests. “Why can’t I ride shotgun?”

“I could sit on your lap and we could try driving the car at the same time”, Shay suggests joyfully and for a brief moment, Jojo pays no attention to Valenti’s furious outburst and Ivan’s low rumbling voice and Gian’s attempted appeasement. Instead, he imagines putting his arms around a slender torso and his cheek against a warm back and closing his eyes, and just experiencing peace, a peace so soothing, so -

And then he spots something, something small by the side of the road, and shrieks at the top of his lungs: “DIANA!!”

Instantly, Shay slams on the brakes, causing at least two people to hit their heads on something as the vehicle screeches to a halt. Right next to a startled corgi.

“Not every corgi is Diana, you moron!”, Valenti snaps at him, rubbing his forehead.

“Well this one fucking is, I’d recognise her anywhere. Sweetie! Diana! Darling, here!”

The dog’s head whips up at the sound of his voice, and by then everyone must’ve noticed the tartan bandanna, because suddenly they’re all yelling at Valenti to open the door and snatch the precious pet so they can rescue her. Sledge probably brought her with him and she ran off and got herself lost.

Sighing, Valenti does as he’s told and half spills out of the car when he opens the door to pick up the most beautiful girl in the world, wagging her butt with excitement now that she’s recognised them. That’s when they hear the voice.

“Oi!”, someone yells, a figure jogging towards their car. “What are you doing?! That’s my dog! Fucking stop!”

It’s not Sledge. It’s not Maestro. In fact, it’s nobody they know, so they waste no time dragging the Frenchman back in, slamming the door shut and urging Shay to step on it. Which, to his credit, he immediately does.

“Who was that?”, Gian wants to know, seeming worried.

“Sounded like girl. Teenager. Sledge has no children, yes?”

But before anyone can reply, a loud bang makes them jump and forces a curse out of Ivan Ivanovic. Jojo whips around and has no trouble spotting the large crack in their rear window. “The bitch fucking threw a rock or something! Shay, stop, we have to get her. First dognapping, now vandalism?!”

“I do not think it is advisable -” Yet Shay cares not about Gian’s opinion, opting instead to perform another emergency stop, prompting even more cursing this time. There’s someone standing in the road, they can see her clearly now, and she does not flinch when the car whooshes backwards towards her. She’s still shouting at them.

“Give her back, she’s not yours! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

Valenti shoves the gently confused Diana into Ivanko’s hands who utters no protest when Jojo takes her off him, and then the spiel repeats once more: open the door, pick up the girl, drag her inside, close the door, keep driving. Except this time, their new passenger seems less inclined to comply.

“I’m gonna kill you! I’ll kill you all!”, she threatens, probably trying to flail wildly with little success – they’re four people on the back bench now and breathing is quickly becoming a luxury. Jojo’s sole focus is the fluffy animal in his arms and he’s shielding her with his life, only just managing to press out a quiet: “Get in his fucking lap, Valenti, so help you God!”

To expedite the process, Ivan simply unbuckles the Frenchman and pulls until he slips free, now wedged between the two front seats. The back bench breathes a collective sigh of relief.

“Would you please put on your seatbelt?”, Gian softly addresses the kicking and screaming teen.

“Shay, take a right here. Uh, I can’t reach – hey, can you stop yelling and tap his right shoulder?”

“What is wrong with you?!”

“You’re the one who stole a dog”, Shay accuses her right back and somehow, through sheer luck, actually makes the correct turn.

“No! You did! I don’t know who you are. Where the hell are we going anyway?” When she reaches for the phone, Valenti instinctively jerks away, causing the device to slip out of his hands. He juggles it for a few seconds while the girl tries to grab it herself, and Jojo figures there’s no reason to get involved when Ivanko is right there with his scarily accurate coordination and lightning reactions – only his arms are firmly wrapped around Valenti’s midriff and his cheek is pressed against his back (and wait a goddamn minute), so eventually, the phone plunges straight underneath Shay’s seat.

The two combatants dive after it, knocking their heads together and trying to kick each other’s shins, Valenti nearly folding in half until Ivan loosens his iron grip and allows him a more horizontal position, and Jojo decides that if Valenti accidentally kicks Diana, he’ll sink his teeth into Valenti’s calf.

“Oh! Over here!”, Gian suddenly calls and they all yelp when Shay jerks the steering wheel for a turn so sharp it could cut glass.

“There we are”, says Shay after he’s parked, sounding proud of himself and apparently oblivious to the mayhem in the back. If he looked into his rear-vision mirror, he’d be greeted with a friendly face, happily panting: Jojo is holding their precious cargo up so she wouldn’t get squished while simultaneously trying to get away from the boot right next to his face.

“Great”, mutters Valenti from somewhere beneath the seats.

.

After the seven of them have piled out of the car, they stand in awe before the building looming over them.

“If I ever had to describe a murder house”, Jojo grumbles, “this would be it.” Windows boarded up, the dilapidated house (which barely deserves that title) looks anything but welcoming, rotted wood groaning ominously in their direction. The only thing missing is some crows cawing from the gables. It’d be the perfect location for a Halloween party, cobwebs and spatters of reddish-brown here and there already included. Jojo is pretty sure it’s actual dried blood.

“This is Sledge’s car, right?” Shay points to the much nicer-looking vehicle next to where he parked their run-down rental, a hand-me-down provided by Rainbow for their current task.

To their surprise, it’s the girl who pipes up with a confident: “It is, yes.”

“You know him?”

She makes a face at Valenti. “Duh. Diana is his dog, of course I know him. He’s friends with my dad.”

Oh. Ohhhh. The five of them exchange a few glances, some of which reproachful, relieved or concerned. Looks like she didn’t kidnap Diana after all. “So… you were just walking her?”

Another eye-roll. Which, fair enough. “Yes. He let me take her for the day because he said it could be dangerous if she stayed. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Who are you again?”

Gian’s politeness kicks in and he introduces all of them with their full names and nicknames before Valenti can stop him – might not be the best idea to let her know who exactly it was who stole her off the street, but Sledge would find out anyway. He always finds out. “And what might your name be?”

She hesitates for a second before replying: “Lottie. Just call me Lottie.”

“That’s an odd name”, Shay blurts out without a filter, as usual, earning him a hard stare and a: “Like you lads can talk.”

“Let us meet with Sledge and get this over with.” Ivan Ivanovic, ever fearless, is the first to approach the foreboding structure, the corgi happily trotting after him. They have no real choice but to follow.

The briefing they received was short: Rainbow wanted to install a safehouse not too far from the base and Sledge had been assigned the task of ensuring it’s liveable as well as properly stocked and secured. After not having heard from him in a day, Thatcher assumed he’d need some supplies and instructed them to check on the Scotsman and deliver some cans of food, ammunition and other paraphernalia. So now they’re here. In this creepy-ass house.

Jojo jumps when the first step up to the porch creaks loudly under his foot and receives a jab in the side by Valenti, frowning at him. “Don’t be dramatic”, the Frenchman grumbles at him.

“You don’t think this whole thing is kinda weird? It’s not like Sledge to cut contact. There are no fresh tyre tracks, so he hasn’t moved his car recently. And then what the girl said – it’d be dangerous?”

“My name is Lottie.”

He’s about to snap back just as he enters the house proper, and simply falls silent entirely. What little sunlight is left crawls through badly-covered windows and holes in the ceiling, illuminating what can only be described as a scene of battle. Furniture is overturned, broken and splintered, carpets ripped, walls riddled with holes of various sizes. Except for a multitude of foot- and handprints as well as some wiped-down areas, everything is covered in a thick layer of dust. One room over, the ceiling is largely missing so Jojo catches sight of parts of the roof itself.

And, most alarmingly, there’s more blood. This time, it’s not old at all, looks pretty fresh actually, pooling and dripping through the cracks at the top of the stairs to the lower floor – and if Jojo is not mistaken, there are marks on the steps as if something (or someone?) had been dragged down into the basement.

“Looks like this is a murder house”, Lottie says what they’re all thinking.

“Jesus fucking Christ”, is Jojo’s contribution, and Gian: “Language!”

It’s Shay, of course, who decides to yell for Sledge at the top of his lungs, which is the moment Ivanko decides that no, they’re not actually going to stay here, thank you very much. He bodily pushes them back out the door and announces: “This is situation. We will bring girl to safety and then ask Thatcher for further orders.”

“She’s safest with us”, claims Valenti and sounds like he genuinely believes himself. Everyone ignores Lottie’s quiet: “I can defend myself, you know.”

“If he’s not in the house, where could he be?”

Jojo doesn’t know whether to hug Shay in moral support or enlighten him on the possibility that Sledge might be getting gutted as they speak. “We should still check it out. She can wait outside with Diana while we clear the house. Maybe this is nothing.” Despite his words, he can feel his adrenaline level rising by the second. The blood looked real. There’s definitely something going on here.

“Waiting outside may not be the safe option”, Gian cuts in, face pale. He’s pointing towards their car and it takes them a moment to spot it, but he’s right: all four tyres are flat. “We barely turned our backs. There might be someone watching us.”

Instinctively, they move to surround the two civilians (though they have to keep shifting legs to stop Diana from wandering outside their protective circle), brows furrowed. All levity is gone and Jojo catches himself checking his belt for a gun. Neither of them brought one, of course, why would they need it? “Anyone armed? We should’ve insisted on a bloody pistol at least. Fuck.”

Heads shaking all around. “I have pocket knife”, Ivanko shrugs. “But my fist is deadlier than tiny blade.”

“You think Sledge brought something? We could smash a window.”

The Russian offers Valenti an amused half-smile. “I think his wrath would be worse than whatever is going on here. But good idea about his car, I can probably open trunk.” He trudges over to the vehicle in question, making the rest of them huddle even closer, and kneels down to fiddle with something. Jojo has picked a few locks in his life though he can’t for the life of him imagine how this is supposed to work – and a few seconds later, the trunk opens with a quiet click.

“Woah”, comes from the girl in their midst.

Wordlessly, Ivan Ivanovic blinks at the contents of Sledge’s trunk, not visible from where they’re standing. Valenti lets out an impatient: “And?!”

Still refusing to respond, the Russian rises to his feet, brows raised. And just stands there. This doesn’t bode well.

“Nothing of use”, he finally says, voice suspiciously even.

“Oh for the love of -” Valenti breaks away from the group and narrowly stops Ivanko from closing the tailgate. The two of them stand there, staring at whatever it is – Ivan stoic, Valenti with his mouth open.

Sighing, Shay is the next to join them, and he at least uses his words: “Huh. There’s a body in Sledge’s trunk.”

Oh shit.

Gian opens his mouth just as a bullet hits the ground next to their feet, and Valenti’s frantic inside is wholly unnecessary seeing as they act faster than their brains can catch up: Jojo grabs Diana off the floor and dives after Gian who’s dragging Lottie with him, and two seconds later they’re all back in the menacing murder mansion, breathing hard and trying not to let it show too much.

“Search for weapons and a good hiding spot, I’ll call Thatcher.” Valenti is already accessing his speed dial while Gian assures an increasingly worried Lottie to remain calm. The dog in Jojo’s arms is struggling, yet he will not put her back down and endanger her precious life.

Shay and Ivan spread out, the Irishman rifling through the ceiling-less room while the other man checks out the kitchen, everyone side-eyeing the stairs in case they get unexpected company.

“Come on, pick up, old man”, mutters Valenti as he wanders around, phone glued to his ear. Jojo can hear the dial tone and has never cursed Thatcher for his refusal to properly use smartphones more. “Shay, make sure you don’t -”, and then he’s suddenly cut off by a shriek and metal rattling, and the last thing Jojo sees of Valenti is the look of terror in his face as he suddenly falls upwards. Almost in slow-motion, their only phone, their lifeline is yanked from him by gravity, and though Shay, the hero, dives towards it, he’s too slow. The device clatters to the ground and slips through the floorboards probably straight into the basement.

When Jojo steps into the large room with its impossibly high ceiling, it’s immediately obvious what happened: someone must’ve placed a trap of some sorts, a thick chain is wrapped around both of Valenti’s legs and he’s dangling in the air several metres above ground, struggling to break free.

“What the fuck”, says Jojo. Not even Gian complains about the cursing this time.

.

“We cannot rule out possibility whoever is here wants to harm…” Ivan indicates a half circle for ‘rainbow’ so Lottie doesn’t hear anything she’s not supposed to hear, and presumably because it’s funny when Shay is lagging behind in the conversation.

“Personally, I believe the likelihood to be low. This location has yet to be associated with us.”

“Yeah”, Jojo agrees with Gian, “I don’t think that’s it.”

“Oh, you mean Rainbow?”, Shay chimes in, beaming. “Well, we can ask Sledge when we find him. Right now, we should get the phone back and untie Valenti.”

Neither of them dared to ask whether the body in Sledge’s car was the man himself, but Shay’s unshakeable optimism is contagious – he saw it and seems to be wholly convinced their superior is somewhere in the building, so it couldn’t have been him who’s dead. Right?

Right.

“Good plan.” Valenti’s voice is strained as he dangles from the ceiling, having given up and letting his arms hang down like leaves from a sad plant. “Two of you should go into the murder basement to see whether you can find my phone. The other two take Lottie and Diana and come upstairs to help me. If there’s a crazy axe murderer hiding anywhere, it’ll be downstairs with all the blood, so you should be fine up here.”

“Reassuring”, mutters Jojo. “I’m not letting her out of my sight, so I’ll go up. Hang in there.”

“I shall do the same.”

“We will check out basement then. I found no useful weapon but chair leg, so it will have to do.”

It becomes clear pretty quickly that whereas Jojo is concerned with Diana’s safety, Gian was actually talking about the girl for some reason which suits Jojo just fine. He’s been training his body for exactly two purposes: impress hot guys and carry dogs, and one out of two is not bad. They all wish each other luck before they split up and the second Jojo sets a foot on the stairs leading to the top floor, he runs face first into some spider webs.

“Relax, this is nothing I haven’t heard from my dad before”, Lottie assures Gian who looks like he wants to stuff something in Jojo’s mouth to keep him from cursing any more.

They fall silent at an odd noise coming from their destination and exchange a few warning glances. No doubt if anyone else is occupying the house, they’ll be well aware of the recruits’ presence by now yet have decided not to show themselves for what can only be assumed a sinister reason. Gian is leading them with Lottie following closely behind, Jojo at the back – whichever direction they might be attacked from, the teen won’t be the first to suffer.

Wallpaper is peeling off revealing discoloured stone, stirred-up dust covers the insides of their lungs and an unpleasant smell is creeping into their nostrils. There are footprints of various sizes which betray more than one person who’s been here. Still no sign of Sledge. A narrow corridor greets them upstairs with an uncomfortable amount of entryways branching off, gaping frames without doors. Without speaking, Jojo passes the now well-behaved corgi to Lottie, in case he’ll need his hands, and they sneak forward peeking into each room they pass. It’s a similar chaos to downstairs and Jojo idly wonders whether Sledge has actually done anything with this place yet.

A muffled scream comes from downstairs, causing them to twitch, nerves raw, fingers itching to do something. Gian shakes his head: didn’t sound like a signal of distress, probably an involuntary reaction to something. If they needed help in the basement, it would’ve sounded differently and Jojo nods in agreement. Still, he doesn’t like it, not one bit. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up and he expects something to happen very soon. He makes sure they keep away from windows as much as they can; who knows who shot at them outside, whether it was at least two people making sure their tyres were flat so they couldn’t leave, who might be trying to pick them off one by one.

It’s quiet again. Gian is visibly tense, as is Lottie who seems to be petting Diana to calm herself down instead of the good-natured dog.

The hallway makes an L shape and as they round the corner, they’re confronted with a reassuring sight at the end of it: though the floor is missing towards the back, they do see the upside down Valenti greeting them with overt relief. Jojo notes that he can’t spot where the chain is fastened keeping the Frenchman suspended, however, so they’ll have to take a closer look.

On the way to their helpless friend, they peek into the last remaining door yet only spot a large pile-up of furniture and deem it safe enough – they don’t have any time to waste, the earlier they’re out of here, the better. Cautiously, Gian inches towards the ripped-up floor from where it’s a drop straight down into the living room, and inspects the metal wrapped around Valenti’s calves. It soon becomes obvious that he’s too far away to reach him – and before either of them can decide what to do next, a sudden noise freezes Jojo’s blood in his veins.

This time, it does sound like a scream for help. And it’s coming from none other than Shay.

“Fuck”, he hisses and turns around; screw Valenti, he’s not in immediate danger as it is, and he suddenly hears the footsteps, only much too late – fast, heavy footsteps, and then he collides with what might as well have been a solid wall. Stumbling back, Jojo can’t believe his eyes: a massive figure has emerged from the one room they couldn’t check properly, of course, he should’ve known it’d bite him in the ass. It’s a mountain of a man, clad in blood-stained clothes with a hockey mask and a fucking chainsaw and if this sight hadn’t instantly activated Jojo’s fight-or-flight response, he’d have laughed at how cliché it is.

Right now, he doesn’t think it’s cliché. He thinks he may actually die today.

With an animalistic roar, the man revs up the chainsaw and begins advancing towards them, and all Jojo can think about is how to get Diana out of here, and Lottie too maybe, and that he can’t remember what the last thing he said to Shay was. Charging a giant with a functioning chainsaw must be about the stupidest thing he’s ever done, but it’s the only chance he’ll get: if he uses the element of surprise, the others might be able to escape.

Valenti is yelling something as is Gian, yet Jojo hears nothing, ducks under the first, slow swipe of the deadly weapon and grabs the man’s arm, tries to slam him against the wall and barely manages to even stumble him. A furious growl comes from the throat of the beast but it’s enough time for Lottie to slip past – Gian must’ve had a hand in her instant escape, or she’s much braver than she ought to be. Once she’s out of Jojo’s peripheral vision, he’s kneed in the side and nearly goes down from the blow before another hand joins his own in pinning the murderer in place.

“Go”, Gian pants, “Jojo, go.”

He doesn’t have to say it again. Together, they shove their attacker back and book it, Jojo in front nearly slipping on bits of loose cardboard or plaster or whatever strewn around, not looking back to see whether they’re being pursued. He’s sure of it anyway. He rushes down the stairs just as he hears another blood-curdling scream behind him. He can’t go back. Civilians first, always, they know the risk.

Always.

Turning a corner, once again he runs into someone and takes a second to recognise Shay who looks much worse for wear and roughly how Jojo feels right now: terrified, dishevelled, wide-eyed. “Ivanko’s gone”, he stammers, barely intelligible, “he just – he fell down a hole and I couldn’t – I don’t know what happened, I heard you guys and ran -”

Jojo spots Lottie right behind Shay, which is something at least. Diana wags her tail slightly. For a second, Jojo’s vision almost goes black with how incredibly relieved he is to see his best friend alive. “Do you have the phone?”

Shay holds up the device, screen cracked. “Still works. Can we go outside? We could get shot at.”

Good point. Jojo’s mind is racing. There’s no world in which he’s subjecting a teenaged girl to the dangers of a psychopath with a chainsaw, but it’s also unthinkable to run outside when there’s the threat of getting gunned down instead. “I’ll go first. If I’m fine, you follow after me. I saw another cabin on the way here, if we make it there and call for help, we should be good.”

“What about the others?”

A simple shake of the head. Too risky. They can come back once they’re sure Diana and Lottie are safe. Shay accepts his judgement with a curt nod and hurries after the German, stopping a bit short of the front door, eyes glued to where their attacker might emerge. Jojo takes a deep breath, slams the door open and -

And, uh.

… and nearly hurts himself trying to make sense of what he’s seeing.

Two smug grins are directed at him, plastered on familiar faces of familiar figures leaning against the car that brought them here. “Hi”, says Smoke, and winks at him.

Jojo doesn’t get it immediately, the adrenaline rush too powerful, so he blurts out: “Be fucking careful, you loons, you could get shot!”

“Or murdered by a crazy man with a chainsaw?”, Mute replies, joyfully, and it’s slowly sinking in.

He can’t fucking believe these guys. “Wh – are you serious? Did you do this?!”

“That’ll teach you to mess with our equipment.”

And it looks like Smoke would have more to say, except Lottie appears in the doorway and squeaks out a delighted: “Dad!”

It takes about one second after catching his daughter in his arms for Smoke to switch from surprised to deeply, utterly homicidal and Jojo connects the dots much too late, once more.

Of course. He knows Smoke’s daughter is called Charlie, which is likely shortened from Charlotte, which can also be shortened to Lottie, and she even said her dad is friends with Sledge. It makes so much sense now. No wonder she got permission to walk Diana.

No wonder Smoke is staring at him like he wants to use Jojo’s guts as Halloween decorations now. They kidnapped his daughter and brought her straight to a murder mansion. This is worse than the time they accidentally kidnapped Diana. This is so much worse.

Looks like today will be the day Jojo dies after all.

Behind him, Shay speaks up, confused: “Wait, if they’re all fine, whose body is in Sledge’s trunk then?”

~*~

Thatcher looks so fucking done.

His office is absolutely crowded as it’s not meant to hold ten people, so they’re all awkwardly seated in random places. There’s a dead house plant tickling Jojo’s neck but he’s not going to risk complaining. Thatcher’s threat of tossing his tea at the first person who speaks without permission does not feel like an empty one, seeing as he’s shaking with silent rage so much that he’s nearly spilling his Twinings. He takes a sip, places the cup on his overflowing desk, and fixes them with a level stare, one by one. The recruits first, then Smoke and Mute, then Sledge (and Jojo has never witnessed the man look this sheepish before), and Charlie gets a grim half-smile which she reciprocates to the best of her abilities. Though she’s unlikely to receive a bollocking, even she fidgets with something, clearly unnerved. Thatcher’s presence does that to everyone, especially when he’s mad.

And he’s very mad.

“I don’t even bloody care what happened”, he starts and silences several people with a single look as soon as they open their mouths. “But you idiots seem to, so it’s my duty to clear it up. What even led to this nonsense?”

Sledge is the first to speak up, voice even and composed. He seems ready to face judgement. “I was told the recruits had faked their time sheets. Recorded all kinds of exercises without ever doing them.”

“We didn’t!”, Valenti explodes instantly. “What?! We’d never do that! We have never done that!!”

“Shut up, Jean. And why did you not come to me to talk about it? That’s a serious accusation and, if true, a serious offence.”

The Scotsman hesitates. “We would have had to throw them out.”

Jojo’s jaw drops. Not because it’d be news to him that a misdemeanour like that could be the end of their career in Rainbow, no, that part is crystal clear, but – if he understands correctly, the implication is -

“And you wanted to avoid that?”

“I wanted to avoid that, aye.”

By now, all five recruits are gaping at their superior in disbelief. With how much Sledge has complained about them in the past, how they feel like he’s picking on them specifically, this is absolutely unthinkable. He wanted to protect them.

“I thought we could scare some sense into them. A wake-up call, if you will.”

Thatcher is rubbing his temple. “I will not, thank you very much. Besides, that would be a show of so much favouritism. And what do we not do, Seamus?”

“Show favouritism.” Sledge’s voice is small now, much smaller than his imposing physique. Looking back, Jojo doesn’t know why he didn’t recognise him right away. It was probably the chainsaw which hindered coherent thought in the moment. “Also, we do not threaten our recruits with running chainsaws.”

“Astute. James, Mark, is that what you told Seamus because you know he’s got a soft spot for these bellends?” The two nod wordlessly. “Is it actually true?” They shake their heads. Thatcher sighs. “So what made you set this all up? Revenge for what?”

“They broke one of Mark’s jammers and buried it in the woods so we wouldn’t find out”, Smoke replies, pouting. “And they used my guns without permission. Didn’t even clean them. Plus they stole one of my babes! I still don’t know where it is.”

“We didn’t do that either, that wasn’t us! The jammer was Kapkan, the guns was Jacob Griffin-”

“Shut your gob, Jean! If you can’t wait your turn -”

“He’s right though.” Mute shrugs. “I checked the cams earlier. It wasn’t even them.”

At this, Valenti jumps up from his chair, clearly ready to sling some choice words at the two SAS operators, and only with difficulty does Gian manage to gently drag him back down. They’re all still reeling from the revelation that Sledge actually cares about them, now it turns out they’re not even in the wrong. Even better, they are the ones who were wronged! This has never happened before so neither of them knows how to deal with it: Ivanko is frowning in incredulity, Gian accepts the truth with a stoic expression (probably happy to take the high road), Shay is still open-mouthed and Valenti seethes silently. Jojo is just amazed at this turn of events. They’re going to milk this forever.

“You’re telling me you traumatised these poor lads for no reason?”, asks Thatcher, now dangerously quiet. “Them, and Charlie as well?”

“Wait, wait, wait”, Smoke cuts in angrily, “they endangered her. After randomly kidnapping her. If we’d known she was there, we obviously wouldn’t have -”

“But you did.”

“- besides, they completely fell apart, left three of them for dead, that’s great teamwork -”

“I think it’s your turn”, Thatcher finally addresses the recruits. “Tell me what happened, from the beginning.”

The five of them look at each other and then begin recounting the events from the previous day, trying not to embellish or put themselves in a better light than appropriate – each of them re-tells part of their story, adding to each other where necessary, while Charlie nods along and confirms their version.

It’s extremely satisfying to watch Smoke’s lips get thinner by the second while his better half shoots him annoyed looks.

“They didn’t make her feel very safe though”, Smoke tries one last time. “She gave them the name she’s only supposed to give suspicious people so I know something’s wrong.”

“Who do you think made me feel safer, the blokes literally ready to die for me, or Seamus attacking us like Jason Voorhees?”, his daughter snaps at him.

“Charlie, I’m really sorry”, Sledge mutters and looks it, too. She gives him a brief nod of acknowledgement.

“I don’t think I need to tell you that picking up random children off the street is wholly unacceptable and if these were different circumstances, you’d be getting a right bollocking for that. But since what the lads did to you was so unbelievably out of line, you get to choose their punishment. Unless you gloat about it, Jean, then you lose that privilege immediately.”

This is Christmas come early. Smoke might as well have bitten into a lemon, his face is so sour, and Mute rolls his eyes resignedly, but they know better than to contradict Thatcher on this. They made him an unknowing participant, which is likely why he’s being so strict with them – plus he seems to have a soft spot for Charlie. And Jojo is beginning to understand why.

Valenti turns to the other four and whispers: “I have an idea. Do you trust me?”

“Do you still trust us?”, Jojo shoots back. “We left you to die while hanging from the ceiling.”

“I mean, it was uncomfortable, but you did what you had to.”

Shay beams at him, Gian seems to share his sentiment, and even Ivan Ivanovic nods. There’s a warmth spreading in Jojo’s chest he usually experiences when he’s drunk and looking at his found family for a bit too long. “Yeah. We trust you. Go ahead.”

Triumphant, Valenti turns to a bored Thatcher and announces: “We’ll take an IOU.”

“Fuck”, grumbles Smoke right before Mute elbows him in the side, probably not for the cursing but rather because all this must’ve been his idea.

Jojo understands immediately: this is so much better than anything specific – the three SAS ops must now live in fear that at any moment, they could invoke their IOU for any reason. It’s a blank cheque. It’s nothing but pure power over the chaotic duo and even Sledge himself. It’s brilliant.

“Sure, whatever.” Thatcher waves them aside. “And you three better honour it, you hear me? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if they refuse, you come to me, Jean. Alright?” Either resigned or gleeful nods all around, so Thatcher informs them: “And now you all better fuck off before the caffeine wears off.”

Together, they squeeze into the corridor outside with Smoke staring daggers at them, ignoring his daughter doing the same at him. Sledge, who seems to have aged by about a decade, heaves a deep sigh. “Reckon I owe you lads a drink tonight, on me.”

“We gladly accept”, Gian speaks what they’re all thinking. “Thank you for the kind offer.”

“Thank you anyway”, Ivanko adds, “that was most fun I’ve had in weeks.”

Behind them, Smoke, Mute and Charlie are trudging off, the little gremlin still ranting about something until Mute simply leans down and silences him with a smooch. Jojo quickly turns away lest the yearning befalls him again. It seeks him out more frequently these days.

As if on cue, Shay asks: “But what about the body? I still don’t know who that was.”

“Shay, dearest, it was fake”, Jojo informs him as they start walking down the hallway. “Everything was fake. Didn’t you get that?”

“Actually, the body was real”, says Sledge with amusement in his voice and just as the other four erupt into chatty disbelief, Jojo wonders how he managed to even get this job in the first place.

Not that he’d trade it for anything. Not at all.

[asoulofatlantis]

XD I am laughing my ass off here. What a great reaction *lol* Tita was so in awe by the technologies used for Lapis that she was like "I need to take her apart to look at the tech" she surely didn't mean it in a bad way, but she scared the heck out of Lapis, so apparently Agate has to put a leash on her XD

Look, I want my class 7 to be back together as much as they want to reunite with Rean but this was just an ridiculously stupid move. First of all all 3 teams would have reunited at the tower eventually anyway. It would have been much more useful for all teams to remain the way they were until then and reunite at the tower, which was their meeting point anyway. Second, Reans team is by default the biggest and thus didn't need the extra support of Alisa, Towa, Machias and Sharon so damn badly. And third, breaking of into small team to reunite with whoever will put them at a disadvantage compared to staying in this big and thus stronger groupe. But... whatever.

OKAY I admit it does feel good to have all my class 7 ducks in a row again. But I still stand by that this was a stupid move...

Obviously... when would he ever not?

FOUR FULL CHAPTERS my boy! I waited for chapters for this reunion and NIS just fucked up the translation to make it even less impactful than it already was for your standards. Seriously.

Are you now? Well... I guess you have to with this man by your side XD

I am not sure why everyone is so tense about this fight. Look at what we have at our disposal. Thors united Class7 in all its glory, including the super maid as well as the complete SSS AND Liberls greatest bracers and their ZFC Maskot. Among our team are two freaking Gralsritter. We have 3 former Jeagers among us too. What the hell could go wrong with such a team?

I am lucky that I am playing on very easy, because I am pretty sure otherwise I would need to put my team together with their strengths, weaknesses and Crafts in mind, instead of making a full out shipping-team XD

You know what is really frustrating? With almost all the other character, their redemption never felt like they really did anything change for the better or change their mind about things... in fact, I believe even at the end Crow still thought he had the right to kill Osborne. Most of them were hiding behind sad pasts, the influence of the curse and some brainwashing here and there. Few actually truly admitted that they have been wrong. Yes, some of them admitted that they did horrible things, but often not with it looking like they truly and fully regret them. And most of the time their way back into the world of the nice guys was just because the nice guys wanted them there, or accepted them there for one good deed. Rufus is one of the characters you just want to see dead after everything he did, after all his betrayals and the backstabbing and even after he decided to take all the blame on himself and with that managed to keep Lechter and Claire free. So starting this game, you wish him the worst. But you can just not keep that up, because he does actually has the most realistic change of all and he actually truly works for his redemption and deals with his faults and weaknesses along the way. It sucks so much that you don't want to like him, but the game made it plainly impossible to still hate him as much as before. And it makes you feel bad for hating on him, while people like Crow simply get away with what is basically nothing in comparison and yet you still can't help but somehow like them.

Yeah and here is a big "FINALLY!" from me. It was about time.

Then maybe it is time to become a lover... but there is no sense in even thinking about going down this road even tho it is cleary right ahead of us, given how Rixia still seems to after Lloyd in Kuro. It sucks but... nothing can be done about it. This moment will have to be enough.

You know its bad when this happens...

He hasn't done anything particularly bad in Kuro so far, aside from a few jabs at the empire and stuff like that... but seeing his damned face makes me so angry!

I guess I make my way into the reverie corridor and that it will be it for me for today.

Now that I am done for today I have a few quick choice words on the translation of this game that I have mostly been holding back, but can not hold back any longer.

First of all: The Ebon-Defense-Force originates in the Ebon-Knight and thus, they should have pronounced it in the same way. Dieter Croise is not called DieEter and its weird that Elie says it wrong and Lloyd says it right.

ALSO I do not claim to be able to read Japanese (I wish I could) but there are immense differences in translation between the Spreadsheet and the NIS-Translation and while I was at first assuming that since the spreadsheet was done only by a fan and very fast at that, that that meant it was a very rough translation there are certain parts, multiple that is, were I did somewhat understand what was said and I can definitely confirm they made some unnecessary changes multiple times.

Just to name the ones that obviously are the strongest to me is that they immensely towned down Reans favoring Alisa thingy when mentioning the guys stuck in Crossbell or even when greeting them when Reunited. There have been multiple occasions throughout the game were I know for a fact that Rean has either only mentioned Alisa (like when he was meant to reach Crow and then said he can not reach Alisa - I checked the translation back then because it seemed weird to me he would only mention Alisa instead of Towa who is his colleague - he actually really just mention Alisa and not Towa and Machias) or kept saying stuff "Alisa and the others" when talking about them as well as the Reunion-scene were he said "Alisa. Everyone", where I didn't need to even read Japanese because it was voiced and he did indeed only say Alisas name, but in the Translation of NIS he said: "Hey, over here!" or something like that without mentioning any name at all.

There have been multiple other occasions where I know for a fact that the lines were altered sometimes extremly. Even in "The fallen Prince" we have multiple moments that were changed that pissed me off. The red constellation mentioning that Cedric was worth being under Shirleys watch was an important point in that Story, because it was necessary to see between the lines what exactly Shirley had to lose, if Cedric would fuck it up. Instead they only said that théy now understand why Shirley sees potential in him, but the meaning is simple not the same. This is not just me nitpicking. Just seeing the potential in Cedric isn't enough here, the red constellation has to accept the work and time and effort Shirley puts into that boy. Speaking of which... as endearingly cute that "our boy" was, that is definitely NOT what Shirley said. Who does this "our" even refer too? Her and Garrath? Are they raising him together or what? It would have been a different story if she would have said "Our princeyboy" instead but I know for a fact that she never used his nickname in that story either.

And all the changes are even worse than some of the changes made in CS4. Titas and Agates scenes have been altered a lot in CS4, going to the point were they didn't allow Agate to actually hint at Tita being the most important person to him. Or changing the conversation were Rean is asked if he things the feelings Agate has for Tita are just the feelings of a Guardian and he says he doesn't believe its just a guardian thing.

I do partly get why they felt the need to tone down Tita and Agate as a ship but I don't get the sudden need for toning down Rean and Alisa or anything that could hint to much at Shirley and Cedric. Nor do I understand how it comes that Lloyd voice actor pronounces Dieter right and Elies doesn't.

Its frustrating and I feel like next time I play with the Japanese voices again just to here all the times they fuckt up the translation so obviously.

[idkimnotreal]

almost forgot this incident today-

waiting for bus at the bus stop, alone. like 10am. cloudy, windy as fuck, grey, “looks like rain”. middle aged woman (red haired? i think dyed) and old man walk my way. i catch them once with the side of my eyes then turn to watch the road again. they come closer, i wonder if they’ll wait for the bus too.

no. the woman stops... and offers me candy. two pieces of candy. 

okay so i am autistic and the only time i ever say something unscripted is talking about special interests. everything else is scripted and manually thought. every single word. i can regret my words, but i damn sure spend more time pondering over them. since this is time consuming and difficult to do when there’s a lot of stimuli going on (such as by being outside), i resort to my default script when being offered something: “no, thank you”. i know most social interactions are actually weighing someone’s vibe (their place on the social hierarchy) and not something by themselves, so when you are offered something there is ALWAYS  a right answer. e.g. when the british offer you tea, you’re supposed to refuse and then accept. it’s rude to reject tea in britain. it’s a social game, so to speak. “can you play it? are you one of us?”.

so i tell her “no, thanks”. first thing that came to my mind. she pauses like half a sec and then shrugs, gives me a dumbfounded look, walks away. i realised the literal next sec you’re not supposed to reject harmless candy from strangers when you’re an adult - you can throw it away later, but rejecting it is like you’re saying they’re trying to trick you somehow (like who the fuck rejects free kindness?). it’s a sign of distrust and distrust is offensive when directed at strangers in brazil.

6 months ago me would wallow over this for hours, if not days. but now i have ritalin which speeds up the process by about 500% and worse stuff to think about (like him) so this fortunately didn’t become another intrusive thought/traumatic experience.

[sexhaver]

laundry list of actual complaints i have about elden ring so far:

it's a pc game released in 2022 locked at 60fps with occasional stutters that seem to be able to smell fear and will manifest exactly at the worst possible time to get you killed. i have a 3070 and ryzen 7, i should not be struggling with this

occasional but noticeable glitches. the worst one ive encountered so far is with Renna (the boss of Raya Lucaria). her first phase is supposed to have her levitating above a bunch of trash mobs in a yellow bubble, with one of the trash mobs singing to keep the bubble intact (indicated by them singing and having a yellow aura). she's totally invincible while levitating and you need to kill 3 of the singing mobs in a row to bring her down and make her vulnerable. sometimes, though, when you enter the boss arena, Renna's bubble just... isn't there. and neither are the singing mobs. i think you can still hit her with ranged damage but for all practical purposes the fight is unwinnable like this and the correct response is to instantly quit out and rejoin, which sucks if you summoned help already. also this happens to people fighting her for the first time who don't know it's a glitch and they waste half an hour trying to figure it out

also the glitch where you can set yourself on fire while holding a Shotel of Death and the mere act of rolling near someone in PVP will literally instakill them from full health in under 5 seconds while you stay invincible, that's fun

my friend has accidentally permanently locked himself out of Ranni's questline somehow even though online guides say he should be eligible for it and he isn't the only one

using hard souls golden runes from the item menu is such a fucking hassle. you have to look at how many runes you currently have, calculate how many more you need to afford the thing you want, look at what golden runes you have on hand, try and fail to remember how much each tier is worth, crush what you think is the appropriate amount (which requires selecting Use Selected instead of the default Use), then come up 30 runes short because you weren't paying attention to the last 2 digits. you can kind of sidestep this by pressing R3 in your inventory, which gives you the "compact" view and also stops the menu from closing between golden rune uses, but then that introduces the issue where you can't actually see how many runes you have total as you crush the items. just let us spend golden runes directly at shops or something, please.

also comparing your own armor to armor in a shop requires taking a picture with your phone. this is what the salty Horizon Forbidden West devs were talking about when they said the UX sucks

Festering Bloody Fingers (invasion item) getting used up even when you fail to find an invasion target feels really fucking bad. this is more of a minor gripe than anything because anyone deadass about invasions is going to get the infinitely reusable version anyways, but like, come on

when i pick up a new item i sometimes don't know where to find it in my inventory. is that deer skull i just picked up a helmet? no, okay, is it a fist weapon? no, okay, is it a key item? nope haha wrong it's in the first tab of your inventory halfway down next to the mimic veil, get fucked. just add a button to the pickup notification prompt that automatically opens your inventory to the item's description page

the map is kind of low-rez when zoomed in, does a poor job of conveying some vertical cliff faces, and occasionally straight up lies about the positions/existence of roads. i get that some/all of that is intended, but god damn is it obnoxious sometimes

horse platforming oh my fucking god. whoever at Fromsoft decided to make platforming sections that require a double jump and then tied said double jump to a horse that steers with all the fine precision of a blimp is the real masochist there, not whoever keeps sneaking in new variants of Poison status effects. oh im sorry, did you land on the right platform but facing the wrong direction? nope, no 180 degree turn for you, fall off the platform for even thinking you could pull that shit, do not pass Go, do not collect $200, good DAY to you sir

to be clear, i still think that even with all of these issues, this is very clearly game of the year and possibly game of the decade. i just don't want people thinking im some diehard fanboy incapable of seeing the game's flaws

[americxn]

dating stan bowes

stan x gn!reader headcanons

warnings: nsfw mention, minors dni, food mention

taglist: @kitwalker02 @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @bearyfics @divineruler @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @vi0lentvi0lets @ikkleroniekins @ananad1 @shlutnutt @sanni333 @mossybank @tatesimper @sallyscigarettes @copy-of-a-cheeto @whiiiiplaaaaash @colinsbagel @nerdydoesthings @fictional-men-that-i-stan @spidergirlmcu @depressedvamp (can’t tag) @slightlyvicked​ @kaiscumsl4t​ @peterssilverjacket​ @usuck​ @quickiesgirl​ @lavhoes​ @auroracalisto​ (dm to be added or removed <3)

you took it slow at first, taking your time to get to know stan and let him get to know you, spending time together and learning more about each other before deciding that you wanted something serious with him.

it took awhile for you to make things official but once you did, your relationship reached a whole new level, your dynamic strengthening significantly with the new title of significant others.

neither of you had made an agreement to but you somehow end up seeing each other everyday, wether it be bringing him coffee on his lunch break or spending the evening together mindlessly driving through the suburbs, your hands clasped together in his lap as he drove one-handed; date nights are a must and although you frequently insist that he’s already won your heart and his efforts aren’t necessary, stan always strives to make each date better than the last, sparing no expense. 

he’s very affectionate but tends to convey his feelings through actions other than words, frequently giving you little gifts or going out of his way to make your day easier. you appreciate him endlessly and despite stan’s default love languages being through gift giving, quality time and acts of service, he has no trouble verbalising his affection for you and his contentment in your relationship.

he works long days but will always prioritise you, getting off from work as early as he can and coming straight to see you.

very big on forehead and nose kisses and despite appearances, you were able to bribe him into making a secret handshake with you <3

like the early stages of your bond, your sexual relationship developed very slowly. there was something about you that made stan want to get to know you fully before engaging in anything; he was terrified that you would mistake his intentions for being purely for sexual benefit and that it would change the dynamic of your relationship. so you waited a little while before doing anything.

the anticipation meant that your first time fucking was some of the best sex you’d ever had and it only got better as you grew closer. 

stan adores taking you for nights out in the city, exploring hidden bars and getting reservations at the fanciest of restaurants. he has the weekends off work and you’ll usually plan to do something together, booking a hotel room for the two of you or taking little road trips out of state.

moving in together was a long process due to stan’s thoroughness when it came to looking for an apartment; he spent so much free time looking for the “perfect” place, wanting you to be as comfortable as possible and even stretching the boundaries of his price limit to accommodate his desire to please you, despite your reassurances that you would live in a cardboard box with him and still be happy.

stan loves your attention and will take any he can get, which is always plenty. he melts under your touch and spends a majority of his work day thinking about you and clock watching, counting down the hours until he can hold you in his arms once more.

loves to cook you dinner at home and is actually fairly decent at it, taking the time to learn new recipes that he thinks you’ll like.

he buys you at least two bunches of flowers week, with most of the bouquets residing in tall glasses of water due to a lack of vases and your house/apartment reeking with the floral scent.

he loves having you sit on his lap, especially in public. there’s just something about the simple intimacy that makes both his heart and cock swell. he’s not too big on pda, but he’ll tug you onto his lap at any given chance.

his attention can be somewhat smothering at times but he’s quick to give you any space you ask for, although it takes some effort on his part to not take it to heart. 

he’s quick to resolve arguments and always willing to work through any problems in the relationship. he literally just wants you to be happy and feels honoured to be such a big component in making that happen.

please comment & reblog if you enjoyed and feel comfortable doing so. it really helps when you do; any feedback is so appreciated!

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play Ticket To Ride

Guess who just had a family game night and decided this would be a good idea? Meeeeee!

Last Minute Road/Track Buyer (Lucifer)

This smug son of a bitch doesn’t even complete his trip cards. He just amasses a massive deck of cards and then buys all of the five and six roads, effectively messing up everyone’s strategies.

Luci would have a good poker face if it weren’t for how giddy he gets when he sees the hope drain from his opponents faces as he takes the coveted fifteen point six road.

His main colour is black because he’s an emo bitch.

Lucifer can and Lucifer will take that two road you need to connect your trains, thus ruining everyone’s lives.

He basks in the chaos and rage like a god before Beel tells him that he’s eaten all the game night chips.

He’ll win sometimes, but his lack of trip cards will often be his downfall. Lucifer is just here to fuck everyone over.

FUCK YOU! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE THAT CARD- (Mammon)

Mammon’s greedy little heart sank when he heard that Monopoly had been passed over for family game night, but he caught onto the rules of Ticket to Ride very quickly.

Being the gambler he is, Mammon’s poker face is completely god-tier… except when he has all the cards needed to make his road or someone else takes the cards he needs.

Levi is often the main culprit and fights have started over this.

He argues with the rules a lot if he thinks they’re stupid, this gives Satan a migraine.

Mammon doesn’t save his cards, the moment he has all the ones he needs, he’s buying his road, which is good at the beginning, but often leads to him ending up with no cards by the end.

He is SO insufferable when he wins, please beat him so we don’t have to hear him gloat like an asshole.

Rule-Whore (Leviathan)

“That’s against the rules!” “You can’t have more than three wild cards in the draw pile!” “You need to take three trip cards!”

…so annoying…

Levi is such a rule whore he’ll try and take the instructions from Satan, which will usually result in Levi getting socked in the jaw.

He mains blue because obviously.

Levi tends to plan out his route ahead of time, but he makes it too obvious and his roads end up getting sniped, thus rendering all the cards he had amassed completely useless.

He gets super iffy about his trains being in perfect formation both on and off the board.

Beat his ass for being annoying.

Ha! I’ve Planned for This- Aw Fuck…(Satan)

You fool, you stupid human, Satan had planned out his route ten years before the first turn even happened!

All he has to do now is- DID LUCIFER JUST SNIPE HIS FUCKING ROAD?!

…he’s cool, he’s calm. He can work around this. Satan just has to get the cards he needs- SON OF A BITCH MAMMON WHY’D YOU TAKE BOTH THE ORANGES?!

Worried about your asshole fellow players not giving you your points? Fret not, Satan has everyone’s points memorized and will adjust accordingly. He’s winning this fair and square.

Satan manages to win pretty frequently solely because he picks up so many trip cards and completes a good chunk of them.

Satan mains green because I said so.

Annoying Spectator (Asmodeus)

For the love of God Asmo, you aren’t even playing! Shut up and go away!

He leans over people’s shoulders and criticizes their choices like the world’s most annoying guardian angel… or demon.

“Pick up red.” “Asmo, piss off.” “I’m just trying to help, Belphie! Look, Mammon’s gone and taken your road!” “I DIDN’T EVEN NEED THAT ONE!”

When Asmo does play, he doesn’t play well at all, he just has the worst luck with cards and has the worst poker face.

If someone just took a card that Asmo needed, they are going to get glared at from across the table.

Almost never wins, but when he does, he’s INSUFFERABLE.

“It’s so nice to have the family together :)” (Beel)

Sweet man is just happy everyone’s together, he’s also happy about the multiple party size bags of chips that are on the table.

Beel builds his roads from point A to point B, no fancy skipping or strategies. This often serves him quite well because he can just shift where he’s going on the fly.

Though, he does get confused on where some of the locations are, he’ll end up accidentally cheating and looking at people’s cards when he leans over to see the whole board to try and find out where TF he’s going.

He tries to complete every trip card he has, and he mostly succeeds at that, buuuuut he never thinks to pick up more, which is his downfall.

He mains red, because Duh.

Overall, Beel’s a surprisingly formidable opponent, his resting bitch face serves him well.

“*Snrk* H-huh? What the fuck… what’d I knock over? Where am I? Whose turn is it?” (Belphie)

This little shit- THIS LITTLE BASTARD FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. He falls asleep and when anyone wakes him up for his turn, he “accidentally” knocks everyone’s trains off the board.

He’s doing terribly. Don’t help him.

Belphie loses motivation the moment someone ruins his carefully formulated plan, and making a new one’s too much work so… *snore*

He takes what he can get with the trip cards, he’ll complete the smaller ones and kind of eyeball the big ones and make it up as he goes along if everything goes to shit.

If Belphie gets bored, he’ll purposefully break the rules just to piss of Levi and Satan. He’s a little goblin…

Belphie wins when he puts the work in… which is never.

…Wait what? (Diavolo)

Diavolo is literally the worst at this game at first. He’s picking up two wild cards when he’s not supposed to, he’s buying roads when it’s not his turn, he somehow messed up the points, ugh…

He gets really confused about the rules, he’ll often interrupt people mid-turn to ask a question that spirals into a long explanation.

But when he finally understands the game… May the demon king have mercy on your souls…

He goes from zero to hero and crushes everyone without fail.

It doesn’t matter if he had shitty luck in the beginning because he’s come back to completely ruin your entire route.

Oh, Solomon needed that road? Too bad. It belongs to Diavolo now. Give him his fucking points.

Peace between the realms can wait, he’s got noobs to pwn.

The Wise Mentor (Barbatos)

Barbatos can see the future, he’s cheating by default.

When he sort of… turns off his powers, people still think he’s cheating because he’s just that good at guessing where people need to go and crushing their hopes and dreams.

Except for Luke. Barbatos is teaching him how to be as brutal a player as he is. He will not crush Luke.

As good a player as Barbatos is, one bad trip card will crush his entire strategy. This may be the one time you hear him swear.

It’s a very quiet “son of a bitch..”

Cheater. Asshole. Fight instigator. (Solomon)

Okay who the fuck invited this guy?

Better question, who the fuck let him be in charge of the cards?

Solomon cheats and lies about it, all with a smile on his face. Think you caught him? No you didn’t.

He peeks at cards before he grabs them, gives people the worst possible ones for what they’re doing, AND he gets potato chip grease all over the cards!

When he’s no my allowed to cheat, Solomon’s only half decent at the game overall. Luck is usually on his side, but sometimes luck isn’t enough.

0/10 kick his shifty ass out.

“No, stop,” *Pulls out popcorn* “Don’t fight, oh no.” (Simeon)

Fucking Simeon… he sits back and watches the fight even though he knows he can stop it.

When he’s playing the actual game, he’s pretty average, but when he gets on a roll, oh boy…

He doesn’t snipe roads on purpose, but he’s gotta get where he’s going. Sorry not sorry, may the good lord bless your loser ass.

Sexy shoulder-man’s poker face isn’t anything special, it’s 5/7 overall.

Simeon’s fatal flaw is that he picks up cards only when he needs them, he doesn’t plan ahead, so it’s super easy to swipe the cards he needs before his turn.

He is nice enough to move everyone’s points for them^.^ so he’s better than the rest of those dirty sinners.

“NO PLEASE I NEED THAT ROAD-” (Luke)

So you know how everyone is an awful person? This is proven whenever the gang plays Ticket to Ride with Luke.

Luke demands/begs that no one takes the roads he needs and almost no one listens.

It’s heartbreaking to watch please give the little angel a hug.

But listen, listen, after a bit, Luke gets scary good at the game and very close to winning. His little victory dance is so fucking cute 10/10.

But oh my… it appears that Luke has one tiny road he needs to connect his trains… it would be a shame if Lucifer just… took that.

Luke gets petty, he just puts his hand over the spot and refuses to move it. This goes on for like five minutes until Levi brings up that it’s not even Lucifer’s turn.

Gasp! Hope! It’s Solomon’s turn- HE TOOK THE FUCKING ROAD.

…betrayal.

Luke’s moving out. He can’t go back to Purgatory Hall. He’s going to become the little Victorian street urchin he was destined to become. He is packing his little rucksack and fleeing from this household.

————

I love family game nights… all of you should get together with your family and your squad and break out some board games. Just not Monopoly. Anything but Monopoly…

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: fluff like unbelievably fluffy!

word count: 6.1

here's the playlist for the fic, the last song in the playlist if looped will lead right into Amoreena at the beginning and it works pretty well timing-wise if you like to listen while you read !!

from the beginning <3

All their bags were packed by Friday morning, Y/N and Amoreena waking up extra early with excitement for the weekend ahead of them, and they didn’t even know what was going to happen yet.

Y/N made sure everything was packed and ready for a 3rd time on Saturday morning, right before they left on the trip; making sure they had sunscreen and aloe vera, all her medicine and ginger ale by the pack for her random bouts of morning sickness that lasted all, day, long... And their dresses and his suit hanging behind the driver's seat, beside Amoreena, they all piled into Y/N’s car and took off down the road on their adventure.

Amoreena was awake for the first half of the 9-hour trip, singing like crazy as they drove through Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York, it was so amazing she couldn’t stop cheering the whole time. It was more than she’s ever seen before, even though they lived so close to New York, she’s never been through it before.

Once they arrived in Rhode Island, Spencer pulled over at the closest gas station to make sure the girls were all prepared and ready for the big surprise he had for them. They filled the car, used the restroom and bought some lemonade before getting back into the car, he turned in the driver's seat to see Amoreena and Y/N better, looking at their wide eyes memorizing the calmness in their faces before he told them.

He didn’t want them to freak out too much, he was worried about Y/N’s blood pressure and how loud she might scream and any stress that a situation like this could put on her body. He’s seen how people react to Taylor Swift, he just didn’t know how they would.

“Now, I'm only telling you so you don't freak out," he repeated the same worry she had when she broke the news of the baby, "I didn’t have to rent a place on the water because my friend lives up here, so we’re going to stay in her guest house,” he explained it simply.

“Rossi's wife?” Y/N asked, confused about who it could be and if she knew this woman yet.

“No, actually I think you might know her, her name is Taylor?”

“No,” she shakes her head furiously, “no, nope, there's no way you did this, Spencer Walter Reid I am not kidding I’m going to pass away if I see her.” She's holding both her hands in fists as she tries to stay calm, closing her eyes quickly before letting out a deep sigh.

“Taylor who?” Amoreena yells, undoing her seatbelt and standing between their seats, she almost jumps into his lap as she leans over and grabs a fistful of his shirt, “Taylor WHO?”

“Go get in your seat and I’ll show you,” he teases, watching her follow orders and get back in the seat as quickly as possible, shouting at him to drive the second he hears the seatbelt click again.

Y/N is completely speechless for the next 20 minutes of the drive, eyes wide and a hand on her stomach as she stares out the front window. She’s like a statue, not able to hear anything Amoreena is saying but that doesn't stop her from going on and on with her stories.

“Mom!” She’s finally able to break her out of the haze, “pass me your phone!”

“Yeah,” she doesn’t even question it, handing her the phone back to the antsy 7-year-old so she could continue her internal panic.

They see her house on the hill as they approach, “holy shit,” Y/N whispers as Amoreena turns on the last great American dynasty, knowing exactly where they were going.

Taylor asked for his licence plate number and car model when they were emailing, letting her gate guy know to let Spencer right in so he could keep it a secret. But they knew the house, there was no point in not telling them. Y/N looked a little relieved that he gave her the time to freak out alone and not as soon as they crested the hill.

Her driveway felt never-ending as they got closer and closer, Amoreena was still in disbelief as she squealed in the back seat, hands flailing as she tried to calm the excitement inside her body with her favourite stim.

Then Taylor walked out into the front yard and Y/N was a mess. Crying as she waved her hand in front of her face, not wanting to be a mess in front of Taylor fucking Swift, “I told you nothing crazy! How did you do this?”

“Yes, but I said 'define crazy’ and you didn’t,” he reminds her with a cheeky smile.

She shoves him, “I didn’t think you could do this?!”

Once they’re parked the door automatically unlocked, and as much as spencer hated that non-safety feature, he's glad Amoreena can get out quickly before she's screaming bloody murder. Amoreena is out the door and in Taylor’s arms faster than they’ve ever seen her move, she should be a track star. It almost knocks Taylor to the ground as she takes her in, holding the sweet little girl against her chest with the biggest smile on her face. Amoreena snuggles right into her, with a hand on her cheek and her other arm wrapped behind her neck. She couldn't be any closer to her, it was like she was her favourite relative who she hasn't seen in a while.

Amoreena is talking her ear off already by the time Spencer’s helping Y/N out of the car and walking her to Taylor, she’s holding his hand like she’s going to pass out or something, “and this is my mom Y/N and my dad Spencer but somehow you know him already,” Amoreena introduces her.

“Hi, Y/N, it's a pleasure to meet you, Spencer's told me a lot about you.” Taylor’s sweet voice saying her name alone makes her stutter out a bunch of nonsense, not to mention the fact Spencer's been talking to Taylor fucking Swift about her.

Amoreena moves out of the way for Taylor to wrap her up in a hug, and Y/N cries harder than he’s ever seen on her shoulder, “thank you,” is all she can say, it’s frightening to Amoreena at first to see her mom cry like that but she knows her mom just loves Taylor like family.

What she doesn’t know is just how much Taylor saved her life. If she didn’t have someone to listen to, someone to take the pain and replace it with hope, she wouldn’t be here and by default neither would Amoreena. Spencer owed everything to Taylor swift at this point, she was a blessing in his life that he took for granted. Not realizing until that moment just how much she meant to him as well now.

“Sorry,” Y/N finally says as she pulls off her, “I’m pregnant, I can’t help it.”

Taylor’s hands fly right to her stomach, “holy crap, you never told me that she’s pregnant in your emails, oh my god!” She’s genuinely so happy for them, “how far along are you?”

“6 weeks on Sunday,” she smiles, feeling like herself again even though it’s incredibly strange to be telling Taylor before her parents even knew. “No one really knows, it’s all very new but when you know, you know… y’know?”

For a woman with an English language degree, she sure knew how to make a sentence, all of them laughing at the words she chose, but they understood.

“We should have used paper rings!” Amoreena yells, holding her hand over her eyes in disbelief as she shares her head with a sigh, she couldn’t believe she forgot that song existed.

It made Taylor laugh, scooping the little one up in her arms and starting the walk inside.

“Well come on in, I’ve got a big lunch spread ready for us and then we can go to the beach for the ceremony whenever you want this weekend, does that sound good?” Taylor is beyond excited to make new friends, much like Amoreena, they got along famously.

“Where are the cats? Do they live here or in LA or Nashville?” Amoreena changed the topic in the form of a yes and proving just how much she knew about Taylor.

“They’re here, Olivia and Benjamin will probably find us soon, Meredith isn’t very open to new friends now that she’s an old lady,” Taylor explained as she set Amoreena down in the entryway, bending down to be at her level and pointing off into the living room, “oh, see, there one is!”

Amoreena saw one of them laying on the floor under a sunny spot, running to it and petting it gently, “hi Benjamin, I loved you in the ME video,” she whispers as she pets him, making Taylor swoon.

“She’s amazing,” Taylor swooned, “I can’t wait to have one.”

“You should!” Y/N agreed, reaching to take Taylor's hand on impulse, and Taylor held it back with a smile, “oh that would be so wonderful, I can just imagine the beautiful stories you’ll create when you discover what it’s like to love someone how your mom loves you.”

Taylor’s smile was priceless, "that's the best way to think about it," she beamed at Y/N the way Spencer did, she had that effect on people. They followed her into the dining room, taking a seat near each other and digging into all the food Taylor made for them.

“Ah,” Amoreena said as she finally joined them, sitting on her knees on Taylors nice antique chairs. “Shark coochie,” she whispers the words to herself, not able to stop her mind from repeating it, but still not wanting Taylor to hear it in case it was inappropriate. She was incredibly well-mannered for someone who had a hard time reading social queues.

“It’s a hard word to say,” Taylor agreed, making her feel less awkward. Spencer may have told her about her autism in advance, wanting his little girl to be respected by everyone she met, for who she truly was, “my mom called it a coochie spread once, actually, she's going to be over tomorrow for father's day.”

"Yes! Oh, I love Andrea," Amoreena laughed at how cool this day was, smiling at Taylor the way she smiled at him that first morning at breakfast like she just found yet another person to love. “You’re so wonderful, Taylor.”

“Oh, thank you, you're pretty enchanting yourself,” she smiles, “I take it you’ve known about me for your whole life?”

“Yep,” she smiled, reaching for a chocolate-covered strawberry and taking a huge bite, covering her mouth before she continued, “I was born a month after Red came out, November thirteenth, it really is a lucky number now, mom says so at least.”

“It is!” Taylor agreed with a smile, “I have some markers, do you want to wear matching 13’s today?”

“Mom, can I colour on my hand?” She turns so fast Spencer thinks she’ll get whiplash.

“Yeah, go for it!” She agrees, spreading cream cheese on a croissant and layering tomatoes on top, definitely pregnant.

So Taylor gets a marker and both their left hands now have matching numbers. Amoreena asks to take a million photos, eventually just taking Y/N’s phone from her, permanently, to take photos of all her favourite things around the house.

She runs off with the cats at a certain point, giving Y/N a chance to thank Taylor without tiny ears listening in. “Can I get really emotional and tell you how much you mean to me or is that too weird for our first chat?”

“Not weird at all, knowing you’ve used my music to raise that beautiful child makes me love you just as much, I’d love to hear why you picked me, of all musicians, to show her how to love,” Taylor replies, as regal and kindly as humanly possible.

“My first fiancé, Stephen, he was actually like an angel and our first kiss was quite literally in the rain, but he passed away in 2010,” she explained it with a smile so Taylor knew it wasn’t a touchy subject anymore, “I bonded with Fearless in a way I can’t even describe to you, it’s my life, he was my superstar, and white horse, I mean come on, I can’t tell you how many times I cried to that after he died but it helped me not feel alone. I wouldn’t be who I am without Fearless, and then Speak Now was there for me when I needed a good cry, Last Kiss really broke me but it wasn’t until Lover came out that I realized I could find someone again, and it’s always just like you released things as I needed them like you were helping me through all the bad things,” she’s never even told Spencer all this, it was special to him that he got to give her this moment.

“When you re-released it with the vault songs, I met Spencer literally a month later. I cried my eyes out to you all over me, but That’s When makes me think of Spencer and now the whole album has a new memory in my heart that’s better. It's just like why you re-released it, to replace the bad things that happened that took all the happiness out of something you cared so much about." Y/N took a second to breathe, shaky as she got to the end of her rant that she seemed to have prepared in the 20 minutes before she had to talk to her.

"I love you, honestly. You’re my best friend and you didn’t even know me then, but you’ve held my hand through it all, so thank you,” she cried a little, holding her belly with one hand as she tried to hold the tears in.

Taylor was out of her chair and in Y/N’s arms within seconds, crying into her arms as she held her. She rubbed Y/N’s back as she cried too, “I’m so sorry that happened, but I’m glad I could be there.”

“Do you want to be this baby's godmother?” She asks on impulse without even asking Spencer if he’s okay with it, he was, it made him laugh.

“Eleonora Taylor Reid,” Spencer says from across the table, making them both turn to him with wide eyes.

“Yes,” Y/N agrees fast, “that's the name if it’s a girl, if it’s a boy he can be Taylor as well?”

“Holy shit,” Taylor smiled wide, “yes, I want to come to visit the farm and buy them baby gifts and throw you a baby shower! I inadvertently helped make them so it’s only fair.”

“Hopefully she gets your voice too, Y/N,” Spencer adds and Y/N shoots him a panicked glance, “it’s the Taylor legacy to be a good singer.”

“You can sing?” The question Y/N feared coming past Taylor's lovely vocal cords, almost on queue.

Y/N can't help but glare at spencer, he had too many tricks up his sleeve and she was at her limit.

“Yes,” Y/N finally answers, “I was going to go to theatre school, but I switched to become a Librarian, I’m not good with crowds or competition and that's basically what the industry depends on. I like the quiet, telling stories on paper is just as easy as singing it to a crowd.”

“That's fair,” Taylor agreed, “would you and Amoreena like to sing some song with me? I have my guitar or the piano? I’m not used to having new friends over without sharing at least 1 song with them. I’m sure you’ve seen my listening parties?” She was really trying to convince her to sing, Spencer knew why and what she had planned.

Amoreena came running in then, “I can play piano too, can we do the long live new year's day from the tour movie?” She rests her hands on Taylor's arm, looking up at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, come on,” she says taking Amoreena’s hand and rushing into the piano room. “Here, we’ll record it too,” she offered, setting her phone up on the music stand to capture the moment forever.

They sat side by side on the bench, Amoreena showing her how she could play the opening perfectly and surprising Spencer. He knew they had a piano at home, he’s just never seen her play it before.

“She has perfect pitch,” Y/N bragged, “she can play a song after hearing it once.”

“Really?” Spencer had no idea, unbelievably proud of her as he listened to her play.

She’s quietly playing the intro to Long Live as Taylor watches, joining in with the harmony of New Year's Day, “this one reminds me of my mom and dad.”

“Does it?” Taylor coo’s, smiling at her softly as Y/N tries not to cry beside Spencer.

“They’re the knight and the princess of our kingdom,” she explained before the two of them started singing the words together, like they always have, only Taylor was beside her and not just on the TV.

“I said remember this moment, in the back of my mind, the time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in the stands went wild,” Amoreena’s tiny voice lead-in, fearlessly as she played away.

“We were the Kings and the Queens, and they read off our names, the night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same... You held your head like a hero, on a history book page... It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age,” Spencer couldn’t help but cry as she sang with Taylor.

This was on the concert movie, he showed her after school, this song came on and she was silent, listening to the words as she stared at him and then back at the TV. Her mind was connecting little dots, making a story about her mom and dad being the king and the queen, it all made sense now.

“Long live the walls we crashed through, how the kingdom lights shined just for me and you, I was screaming long live, all the magic we made and bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid,

Long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you, I was screaming long live, that look on your face, and bring on all the pretenders, one day, we will be remembered,”

Their fingers moved in sync on the keys as they harmonized almost perfectly, she wasn’t kidding about Amoreena having perfect pitch. She knew all the words and sang them almost louder than Taylor.

“And hold on to spinning around, confetti, falls to the ground. May these memories break our fall…”

The piano changes, the cords softer as they move into a new song, smiling at her mom and dad like she knew something. She had no idea what happened the night of the fake wedding, just that they had a party without her.

“And hold on… To spinning around… Confetti… Falls to the ground…”

Spencer wraps his arms around Y/N then, resting his chin on her shoulder as they sway to the tune, she’s barely whispering the words beside him as she smiles as her baby.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor, you and me from the night before, but… Don’t read the last page, but I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared and you're turning away. I want, your midnights, I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

Y/N’s hands rest on top of Spencer’s, she squeezes them three times, right before the next lyric.

“You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi, I can tell that it's gonna be a long road. I’ll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and you're crawling home,

Don't read the last page, but I stay, when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes. I want, your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

“Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you,” the two of them chanting along with Taylor in beautiful harmony, Spencer felt like he was in heaven among the angels, but for real this time. “And I will hold on to you…”

The piano is so soft, it’s just Amoreena’s fingers hitting them as Taylor goes silent, letting her take the lead with a soft smile, “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh, I, could recognize anywhere. Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh, I, could recognize anywhere.”

They stop for just a moment for Amoreena to smile up at Taylor, just like the break in the concert, “I really do love you,” she reminds them all before playing again.

“We love you, too, sweet girl,” Taylor replies for them using the same nickname for her because it was the truth. She was the sweetest girl, that Amoreena.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor. You and me forevermore, don't read the last page, but I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes and I want, your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you,” the girls all chant together, swaying back and forth to the rhythm before taking different parts in the song like they’ve planned it before.

“And Long live,” Taylor takes the one song, while Amoreena takes the other.

Please don't ever become a stranger…

The walls we crashed through..

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…

I had the time of my life

Please don't ever become a stranger…

With you…

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…"

Amoreena plays the rest, smiling wide at the best day of her life. Meaning every single word she’s saying. “And Long live, the walls we crashed through. I had the time of my life… With you…” Amoreena ends with a few extra notes, making Taylor smile as she held her in a side hug.

She turns back to the piano then, starting to play Amoreena by Elton John. “No way..” Y/N gasps, before getting ready to sing along with all the confidence in the world, alongside Taylor Swift of all people.

“It’s just that; Lately, I've been thinking, how much I miss my lady, Amoreena's in the hayfield, brightening the daybreak,” Taylor changes some of the words, much to Y/N surprise.

“Livin’ like a lusty flower, runnin’ through the grass for hours, rollin’ through the hay, oooh, like a puppy child! And when it rains, the rain falls down… washing out the cattle town… and she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown… And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by when we would lean… Laughing, fit to burst, upon each other…”

Y/N turns to Spencer then, singing to him softly as she wraps her arms around him and sways her hips to the song, pressing against him like they were in the movie Dirty Dancing, something she’s always wanted to do, clearly, with the smile on her face as she sings.

“I can see you sittin’, eatin’, apples in the evenin’. Fruit juice, flowing slowly, slowly, slowly down the bronze of your body. Livin’, like a lusty flower, runnin’ through the grass for hours, rollin’ through the hay, oooh, like a puppy child.”

Amoreena’s voice was the loudest in the chorus, this was her song after all. She belted it out like it was made for her.

“And when it rains, the rain falls down! Washing out the cattle town! And she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown! And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by! When we would lean, laughing, fit to burst upon each other…”

Spencer knew the words as well, who didn’t? It was Elton John's best song. He hugged Y/N, snuggling into the crook of her neck as they twirled in Taylor Swift's living room, swaying with her, forgetting they weren’t alone for a moment.

“Oh, if only I could nestle, in the cradle of your cabin. My arm's around your shoulder, oh… The window wide and open, while the swallow and the sycamore, whoa! Are playing in the valley. Oh, I miss you, Amoreena, like the king bee misses honey!”

“And when it rains, the rain falls down! Washing out the cattle town! and she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown! And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by when we would lean! Laughing, fit to burst upon each other, oooh!”

Amoreena and Taylor playing the iconic piano solo together, Y/N can’t help but move in closer to watch over her little girls shoulders.

“Lately, I've been thinking… How much I miss my lady… Amoreena's in a cornfield, brightening the daybreak. Livin’, like a lusty flower! Runnin; through the grass for hours! Rollin’ through the hay, woah! Like a puppy, like a puppy, child…” Y/N’s voice loud enough to be on the recording Taylor was making as the song ended.

Taylor stopped it then, just as Y/N swore, “holy shit, that was the coolest thing that’s ever happened in my whole life.”

“Mom,” Amoreena looked at her like she broke the law or something, “you don’t swear in front of her…” she mumbled.

Taylor laughed, wrapping her up in another hug, “have you heard champagne problems? It’s okay for big kids to swear here,” she teased her.

They laughed like they were family like they’ve been there before and were always meant to return. Something just clicked with them, and without a doubt, they’d be returning. Taylor Swift of all people slipped right into their little life, filling the shoes of big sister, best friend and coolest aunt in the world all in one day.

It was the most perfect afternoon.

—

Just before the sunset, they all changed into their wedding attire. Meeting out on the beach for their small, extremely intimate wedding ceremony with miss Taylor Swift. Getting it out of the way so they could have the whole weekend for whatever Taylor had planned for them. She said she had a few surprises up her sleeve still.

They filled out all the paperwork required on Taylor's kitchen table beforehand, she had all the right documents from when she registered to ordain online. All they had to do was submit it at town hall and they’d be legally married.

But it didn’t matter to them, this was enough.

Taylor and Amoreena stood side by side at a homemade arch on the beachfront that Taylor owned, waiting patiently for Spencer and Y/N to walk down the fake aisle, hand in hand. They couldn’t stop smiling as they saw Amoreena at the end, a big smile on her face as she bounced with excitement.

They reached the end, turning to each other, Amoreena took Y/N’s bouquet, it was her duty as maid of honour and best man.

“Spencer and I have been emailing for 2 weeks about today, he’s been filling me in little by little about you both as he got to know you, I’ve really gotten to see his love for you in the form of letters,” Taylor described with a large smile on her face.

Y/N looks at him with an open mouth, shocked as she shakes her head in disbelief at him. “You’re kidding, is she who emailed you when we had lunch 2 weeks ago?”

Spencer nodded with another cheeky smile, “she emailed me as you told me not to plan anything too crazy.”

Y/N just laughed at the insanity, “sorry Taylor, please continue.”

“It’s okay,” she laughed along, “it’s actually kind of interesting how Amoreena picked long live and New Year’s Day to sing because from what I’ve learned about you both, the intermission poem from that tour really was written for you, somehow. Almost like by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance…”

Y/n’s eyed do that thing they always do when she’s remembering something she’s heard before, finding the exact filing cabinet in her mind and opening it. She finds the words.

“When she fell, she fell apart. Cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated as a child with sidewalk chalk,” she starts the poem with a small nod, letting Taylor continue the monologue in the form of vows.

“When’s she crashed, her clothes disintegrated. And blew away with the winds that took all of her fair-weather friends, family and lovers. When she looked around her skin was spattered with ink. Forming the words of a thousand voices, echoes she heard even in her sleep: whatever you say, it is not right. Whatever you do, it is not enough. Your kindness is fake. Your pain is manipulative.”

Y/N hasn’t watched the concert recently, unlike Spencer. She didn’t realize how much it sounded like them. Spencer, however, spotted the coincidences the second he heard it that night with Amoreena. Telling Taylor, explaining in detail how Maeve and Stephen were their personal last kiss storylines, but they’ve found a lover in each other. Cheesy, but it was the best way he could describe it.

“When she lay there on the ground she dreamed of time machines and revenge. And a love that was really something. Not just the idea of something.”

She turned her attention to Spencer, replacing the pronouns to fit him for the next part, Y/N looked at him already knowing why, smiling as she made the connection in her mind.

“When he finally rose, he rose slowly. Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies. Wary of phone calls and promises, charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes.

When he stood, he stood with a desolate knowingness, waded out into the dark wild oceans up to his neck. Bathed in his brokenness. Said a prayer of gratitude, for each chink in the armour he never knew he needed.

Standing broad-shouldered next to him, was a love that was really something. Not just the idea of something.

When they turned to go home, they heard echoes of new words: may your heart remain breakable but never by the same hand twice. And even louder: without your past, you could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.”

“What she said,” Y/N says with a quick giggle, leaning in as she laughs, taking him down in a giggle fit with her.

Amoreena’s lightly tugging on Taylor’s dress then, “you have to say it, please you can’t not say it, I had this planned out before I even knew you’d beee here…” she whispers like Taylor has any clue what she’s talking about.

Y/N just starts to shake her head with a smile, “I think she means the speak now bridge,” she reminds her.

“Ahh,” she smiles, picking Amoreena up to be at eye level with them all, she sings. “I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold, your, pee-E-eeace,” she sings it exactly like it is on the album, almost as if she’s been practicing to release it again…

“There’s the silence there’s my last chance, I stand up with shaking hands all eyes, on me,” Amoreena lightly signs right back. “Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I’m only looking at you!”

Spencer laughs then too, smiling at his little girl living out the fantasy of a lifetime, seeing her mom dressed like a princess and marrying the broken knight with rusty armour, while Taylor Swift of all people holds her. Nothing about the life they had together felt real, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I think it’s only fair if I get a say in who marries my mom because I’ve known her the longest,” she adds, “and I’m not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on this white veil occasion, but you happen to be the best dad in the whole world, so I think it’s cool that you love my mom.”

Y/N lets out a choked sob, she clearly had no idea that Amoreena was planning to say all that, but of course, she was. She knew all about every single Disney princess wedding, every fairytale ending and happily ever after, Taylor has helped her learn about love and vows and true feelings that cannot be stopped.

She knew what to say and she meant every word.

Spencer reaches out to take Amoreena from Taylor, holding her in his arms instead as Y/N snuggled in close to them, both his girls in his arms.

“I think it’s only fair I give some vows to you as well, I’m committing my whole life to this family, you should know how much that means I love you, too, Amoreena.” She snuggles in closer to his neck as she holds him back, Y/N’s head resting on his other shoulder.

“Till the day I die, I am going to be here for you: with unconditional love, with the best stories and the best morning cuddles. I don’t care if you pull me out of bed at 5 in the morning to feed the goats, or the chickens or just because you think the sun looks pretty and want me to see it too. I love you Amoreena, you’ve completed my life."

"Do you remember that day you asked me to be your dad?” his voice is so soft as he bumps her cheek with his nose.

She wipes her tears as she pulls away from his shoulder, overly emotional at the events of the day and extremely tired from the excitement she let out earlier. She nods softly, “I meant it.”

“I know honey,” he can’t help but start to cry a little as well, dropping his manly facade and being real with her. She deserved to see exactly what she meant to him, “I watched you pouring glitter glue all over that table, making the biggest mess ever, but it made me think… I had a hole in my heart for so many years, there was a part of me missing for so, so, so long, and then I found a little Eden by beautiful little kingdom, and the fairest lady in all the land took me in, and she patched up my broken heart with glitter glue.”

Amoreena tried to smile the tears away, sniffling as she tried to nod, “that's how I felt when you told me I could pick you to be my dad.”

Y/N was a sobbing mess, having to crouch down to her knees as she let it all out, steadying herself by holding onto Spencer’s leg like a child would at that height, “is she okay?” Amoreena worried.

“Your mom loves us so much, and the baby does too, so it’s making her a bit more emotional than normal,” he explains, wishing he could scoop Y/N up and hold her as well.

She wipes the tears from her face as she calms herself down and stands back up with help from Taylor, “thank you,” she manages to whisper to her with a smile.

She’s also been crying, watching the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. A family built on true love coming together, using her songs to form a bond that she’d never understand.

And she didn’t want to, some stories were best kept in families, to be sent down the line, generation after generation, to fall into the lap of someone like her one day and create a whole world with it.

“With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband, wife and daughter, the royal Reid family,” Taylor’s voice is soft as she plays along with Amoreena’s fantasy land, hushed to match the moment as Spencer leaned in to kiss Y/N.

Amoreena doesn’t cry out in disgust this time, instead, resting her head on her dad's shoulder as she watched them peck each other's lips gently. Watching a fairytale happy ending unfold in front of her very eyes, blessed to be the result of this happy union.

...

A/N: my anon is on now if anyone wants to come talk about the fic with me!! i love to share little hc's and things with you over here (also this was the original planned ending I wasn't going to continue past here but I'm probably going to write this for the next 10 years its too fun not to)

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

[agentsoftie]

mistletoe

summary: you like him, a lot. so penny does something. something that may or may not involve mistletoe

a/n: it’s vlogmas y’all! also just act like this was uploaded on the 1st instead of the second. also, this love isn’t proof read so bare with me

pairing and word count: spencer x (f) reader & 1.6k

The day was December 1st, and in the paradise that is Virginia, that meant Holiday season. The lights were already up. And the cold air was picking up so much that one couldn't possibly go outside without wearing a coat, fearing for hyperthermia. Carolers were out around the town, singing their hearts out and freezing their hands off. Pictures With Santa was being set up in the park, and elves were practicing their dances and jingles. You could smell the cookies and the peppermint from a mile away. Christmas songs and melodies were playing all across town. And in response, all the hungover college kids were groaning and sulking all across town as they got their morning coffee and went to class.

Each radio was playing some form of holiday music instead of its general hillbilly religious crap. And you honestly didn't mind. Although, it's not like you ever bothered to turn on the radio. But today, something was different. Something had just changed. Maybe it was the fact that it was now the time for laughter and joy instead of harm. Maybe that was the change.

The cold air suddenly leaves your ears as the feeling of warmth rushes in. And to your surprise, you're greeted by a very peppy Lenny. Although, you did bring him a donut this morning, so that might have an effect. “Y/N! Good Morning!” He said as he buzzed you in. “You too Len! Hope you like the snack.” Before you could finish the question, he was half way done with his donuts. You smiled to yourself as you entered the elevator.

“Wait!” You heard someone yell as you were about to hit the button. You waited, as one does, and soon saw the figure that was running towards you clear up. “Spencer,” you breathed out as he ran in. “Y/n, hi.” He said as he was catching his breath.

You hit the button and quickly looked down, trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible. You see, you loved him. Ever since the dawn of time. Or, at least since last December. See, today, technically marks your one year anniversary since you joined the team. See, the first time you first laid eyes on him, the first time you said hello, your heart skipped a beat. The way he moved, the way he talked, just him. Him- himself, was memorizing enough. Never though. Never did you have the courage to talk or say anything to him. The team always noticed, but they never said anything, saying as you got along with them all great.

As soon as the elevator opened you ran for the two glass doors… As subtly as possible. The office smelt like peppermint and hot chocolate, and there was only one possible reason for that. Penelope.

“Good morning my lovely little love birds!”

You both stopped in your steps and looked at each other dead in the eye. “You guys, I’m joking, come on.” You both chuckled awkwardly and he quickly sprinted to his desk as you but your coffee on your desk.

“Like what you’ve done with the place Nel. Quite nice if I say so.”

She set a stack of piles on the desk, and straightened your hair.“You better like it. I stayed till like 10 getting everything ready and paid Lenny 20 dollars to help me set up half of these things.”

“Sucks that it’s gonna be down by mid January.” You say as you take some files off.

“Ooooh, yeah no, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Hey Nel, these aren't files.” You say as you give her the file you were looking at and picked through the other ones. Just to find that they weren't files either.

“Oh! Look at that! I never even noticed,” she said as she straightened her pasture. Spencer looked over to see what the commotion was about, but you tried not to pay attention.

“Spencer, would you come here please!”

You looked at Penelope and cursed in every single language you knew, and that was including ALS. She was the only one at the BAU who knew about your crush on Spencer. Since she was the reason you ever even wanted, or considered joining the BAU.

He got up and walked to your desk as you tried to look busy.

“What’s up Pen?” He said as he put his hand on your desk.

“I need you and Y/N to do something for me.” You looked shocked, but luckily, Spencer didn't see anything. “Can you please go down and do a few errands for me. Or well, for us.”

“Will we get paid?” You asked, she nonned.

“Is Hotch okay with this?” He asked, she, again, nodded. “Alright then, just text us what you need.” He said as he grabbed your hand and walked towards the door. You quickly grabbed your phone and wallet and pulled yourself forward. Your cheeks were rosy red. Or, as red as they could be, so you kept your head high. Although that probably doesn't work in your favor when you will be stuck with him the entire day.

“Okay, first of all, fresh roses.”

“Oooh, I know a great little flower shop. It’s by the bakery near Santa’s Little Shop.”

“Where?”

“It’s by my house here I’ll-”

“Got it.” He said as he cut you off. You wanted to ask him how he knew where you lived, but then you figured that before you came, he went over you and your file like 50 times. Or with him, most likely one.”

You looked out the window as snow fell down to the ground. It was a light snow, nothing big, nothing new. It was the type of snow where you could build a snowman, but it might take an eternity. He drove slowly and carefully turning on the radio to find The Beatles playing.

“Here we go.” He said as Blackbird was dying down in the background.

“Perfect.”

You both got out of the car and looked around. Some things just never change. Even when you’re off of work.

“Hi! Welcome!”

“Hey Blair! Where are all or your red, white, and green flowers?”

“That’s… oddly specific.” She spoke as she got up from behind the counter.

“Work.”

“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say… Well okay, here we have our roses, a staple piece. Then, some white roses, another staple piece. And Finally, green roses!”

You smiled a little. It was small, but she saw it. “I think Y/N’s looking for something more festive? Like… these poinsettia’s!” Spencer said as he walked around the store/

“I’ll take the roses, all three colors, and the poinsettia’s please.”

She rang up the total and you were gonna give her your credit card, but he beat you too it.”Spence…” You trailed “Y/N don't.”

You grabbed the flowers and so did he. He opened the car and as soon as you got it, the conversation picked up once more. “You know, you never had to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“Okay well so did I.”

“Well I did it first.”

“What are you, five?”

“Is that supposed to mean something Y/N?” He said as he looked over at you.

“Ehh ehh, eyes the road!” You said as you snapped at the road.

He simply laughed as he looked back. “Okay, Now the coffee shop. She said that we need fresh treats since some of the kids are coming over tonight.”

“What’s tonight?” You asked as you looked around at the white ground. This was the first time in a while, or maybe in forever that you were having a normal and fluent conversation with him. It’s always, “Hi Spencer *runs away” or “Hey, *dies inside*” BUt this, this was different. This was fun. This was something you could get used to.

“Remember the office party.”

“Fuck… Yeah I forgot.”

“Ehh don't worry, so did I. But I think I’m just gonna stay home and re-read something.”

“Weirdo,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair and messed it up. Somehow, just somehow, your heart wasn't beating 20 times fast almost causing you to fall dead on the spot. But instead you were just having fun and laughing. With Spencer. Spencer Reid. Dr. Spencer Reid. Someone you’ve had a crush on for a year.

“Do you like the Holidays?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, it was the only holiday that I looked forward to when I was a child. Still now too I guess. Which is highly concerning, but we’re not gonna talk about that.”

He chuckled. “You’re funny Y/N,”

“I know.” You said as you smirked.

You looked around at everything that was going on. Kids running around and people drinking hot chocolate. Other people watching the carolers sing, and others kissing under the mistletoe. One person though couldn't stop staring. They couldn't stop staring at you. They looked at your magnificent hair and melted. They looked into your eyes and watched them shine. And heard a baby laugh for the first time every time you talked or laughed.

“What about you Spence?”

“Huh?”

“You like the holidays?”

“Yeah,”

“Well, why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like the holidays?”

“Because of mistletoe,”

“Because of what?”

You were cut off by his hand cuffing your face. I took you a moment to realize what was happening, but once you did, you melted in. You put your hands in his hair and pulled a little. The kiss was aggressive for a public kiss but you soon eased it up due to the fact that this was happening in public. You broke apart due to the fact that breathing exists. And smiled into each other's lips.

“I said… because of mistletoe.”

“Screw you Spencer Reid.”

“You wish.”

“Really, cuz that didn't look like it.”

“You kissed back.”

“By default,”

tagging; @criminalmindsmoodrn​, @marshmallowtraver​, @ghostly-angelic​, @himarisolace​

moot tags: (sorry if this annoys you) @blakeprentiss​, @lizziechase​, @goldenxreid​

[fantastic-rambles]

The Snakes’ Deception

Fandom: Haikyuu!! (@aikk00's Racing AU)

Characters (in order of appearance): Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou, Yaku Morisuke, Sakishima Isumi, Daishou Suguru, Fukunaga Shouhei, Yamamoto Taketora, Haiba Lev, other Nekoma members (not mentioned by name)

Warnings: Physical Violence, Language

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: When the Snakes, led by Daishou Suguru, come to challenge Kuroo for the title of Drift King, the Nekoma Crew isn’t going to take that lying down. But when the Snakes start to play nasty, the stakes are raised even further, and Kuroo has to fight to stay calm and prove that he’s the undisputed champion.

[A/N: RIP my dozen other drafts for other stories. I actually was planning to write this a few days before the Daishou art (also by aikk00), except I knew practically nothing about drift racing so I needed to do research, lul. I watched Tokyo Drift, some Initial D, some Grand Tour, and did a lot of reading online on drift racing and drifting in general, but tbh, I still don’t quite understand the mechanics (I don’t drive stick and I can’t go out and learn how to drift), so I apologize if this is horribly inaccurate. :P]

"The road condition looks good today, but it's still a little wet from earlier. Watch yourself going into the turns so you don't end up spinning out. The Snakes will probably do something though, especially since they asked you to race with Sakishima before Daishou. It should be okay when you're in the lead, but be ready to take defensive measures when you're chasing. My guess is that they'll try to take advantage of your skill at closing the gap and your power-over drift to orchestrate some sort of accident," Kenma commented quietly without looking up from his laptop, his fingers tapping away as he inputted a continuous stream of data. He seemed oblivious to the roar of the crowd outside the car, and Kuroo reached over to tousle his black-and-gold hair affectionately.

"Got it, Kenma. Anything else?"

"I know you won't listen, but you should just go all-out from the start. Not your usual way of racing. But if you do end up chasing, just do a normal drift and keep space between you and Sakishima. If they are aiming for an accident, it's more likely to happen when you're on the outside, so it'll slam into your side and Sakishima will be safe. But your numbers look good. I'm just going to tell Yaku-san to put a little more air into your rear tires," Kenma replied, closing the lid on his laptop and pushing open the passenger-side door, letting the sound of cheering and taunts into the vehicle. After he'd left and closed the door, Kuroo rolled down his window to light a cigarette, letting the smoke drift out into the night sky. Kenma hadn't said anything that he hadn't expected--especially with regard to the Snakes--but it was always reassuring to get their analyst's perspective before a race. Kenma wasn't the type to get fired up like the rest of the crew, but that cool-headed analysis was part of the reason they were able to climb so high in the rankings despite not always having the best cars or the best drivers. The ridiculous title of "Drift King" that he'd somehow ended up with was the result of Kenma's work as much as his own.

Still, Kenma was right. Even if it meant getting into an accident, Kuroo didn't intend to change the way he drifted. Part of the thrill of these races was the pure adrenaline high from going fast, especially when there was the risk of injury or even death. It was the reason why he'd mastered the power-over drift so that he could keep accelerating through the turn, and swung close enough to his opponents during his chases to make them panic. Even against the Snakes and their underhanded dealings, he'd show them that his way of fighting was still better, no matter what they threw at him.

He looked up when a shadow fell over him as Yaku leaned over his open window, the electric pump in his hand.

"You're good to go, Kuroo. Go ahead and show off," Yaku shouted over the din. Kuroo nodded, flicking his cigarette out the window and rolling up the glass. Yaku stepped back as he revved the engine, pulling up to the starting line where Sakishima was already waiting. Unlike most racers, Kuroo preferred chasing from the start to throw his opponent off his game. Before he'd inherited the title of Drift King, he'd been known as the Comeback Kid for his knack for overcoming what was traditionally seen as an unfavorable position. But the psychological benefit of overtaking the opponent and the pressure it put on the other racer, in addition to his skill with his clean lines and sharp angles that allowed him to do so consistently, had eventually shot him to the top of the Tokyo drifting world.

At the signal, Sakishima peeled past the starting line, and Kuroo quickly shot after him, staying close to his tail as they sped down the course. Even though his heart was racing, his head was completely clear, every sense focused on the view just beyond his windshield. Both he and Kenma were confident that Sakishima wouldn't try anything until the turn, but that was no reason to relax, especially at the speeds that they were going. Still, nothing happened when they reached the first clipping point, and Kuroo's eyes narrowed as he quickly estimated the distances and speeds between their cars, making his calculations swiftly and throwing himself into a drift just a heartbeat after Sakishima.

And it was perfect. His hand rested casually on the wheel as his tires squealed, sending up plumes of smoke as the tail of his car whipped around the curve, flying nearly parallel to Sakishima. The Snake seemed rattled as he spun into the next turn, turning slightly wide as Kuroo effortlessly stuck to him, their cars nearly touching as Kuroo grinned. It was pretty clear already which of them was the better drifter, not that it had ever been a question.

He let the car carry itself into the third point with just a few adjustments on his side, almost laughing as Sakishima had to drag on his own wheel to make the turn. The perfect chance presented itself almost immediately, and he aimed for the gap in Sakishima's barely controlled swing. But then, suddenly, the other car was spinning out as the Snake overcompensated, an out-of-control, two-ton wrecking ball flying toward him.

Kuroo jerked his wheel, pulling himself out of the drift and spinning out himself, the two cars making donuts on the road until he couldn't tell left from right. But the ominous crunch of metal never came, and when his car finally screeched to a stop, Kuroo slapped himself out of the harness and kicked his door open, stepping out onto the asphalt and casting his glare out at the spectators, looking for one specific slit-eyed face in particular.

"Daishou!" he bellowed, stomping toward the crowd and seizing the Snake by the collar, dragging him over the barrier. "What the fuck was that?"

But the other man just stared at him, all wide-eyed innocence. "'What the fuck' was what, Kuroo-san? Isumi made a mistake. Everyone saw that. He's not used to wet roads, but that's why I asked you to run with him so he could get some practice, because you're the only one good enough to not get hurt if he really fucks up. Like he did."

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Kuroo spun and slammed Daishou onto the ground, making the Snake wince as his back made contact with the asphalt. "That trick had your slime smeared all over it. You wanted to use Sakishima to take me out so you'd win the next run by default. If I hadn't been expecting something like that from you, I'd probably be in an ambulance on my way to the hospital right now."

Sakishima had caught up to them and was now clinging to Kuroo's arm, trying to pull him off while babbling insincere apologies. Kuroo shrugged him off impatiently as Daishou's hands landed on his wrist, trying to make him let go, but Kuroo shook him like a terrier with a rat, the adrenaline and testosterone giving him an incredible high.

"Really, Kuroo-san. Ask anyone. They would all say that it's a normal accident," Daishou protested. "You know these kinds of things happen all the time. But you're okay, Isumi's okay. No harm, no foul, right?"

The crowd was murmuring in the background, but Kuroo couldn't hear what they were saying through the blood pounding in his ears. He was just drawing his fist back to punch that smarmy smile off the Snake's face when a deluge of water crashed over both of them. Sputtering, he looked up to see Shouhei holding an empty bucket, Kenma standing beside him.

"Cooled off, Kuro?" Kenma asked in his deadpan voice as he approached them. "Or should I ask Fukunaga to get another bucket?"

Kuroo grimaced, shaking the water out of his eyes and hair as he leaned back slightly, still not letting Daishou go. Kenma crouched beside him, speaking softly, so that the crowd couldn't hear.

"You know that the Snakes are just like this. To everyone else, this does look like a normal accident. If you go any further, you're the one that's going to get a bad reputation. Right now, we can still pass it off as the heat of the moment. Let him go, Kuro."

"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Kuro," Daishou taunted. Kuroo's expression shut down, and he drew back his arm again. But this time, Kenma clung to it, still hissing in his ear.

"Stop it, Kuro. You know that everyone says that. They've been saying it for years. It doesn't mean anything. Stop letting him get to you!"

Kuroo grimaced again, but he listened to Kenma, letting his friend quietly talk him down until he was calm enough to shove Daishou away and get up. Accepting a towel from Shouhei, he tousled his hair dry while glaring at Daishou, who got back to his feet with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Sakishima-san forfeited the run," Kenma continued, still talking in his flat, measured tone. "So you'll be up against Daishou later. Are you up to it?"

"Fuck yeah, I'm ready to beat his ass," Kuroo snarled, and Kenma nodded at Shouhei, who ran across the asphalt to retrieve Kuroo's car. They'd probably replace the rear wheels to be safe, and then Kenma would have to run his checks again, but when they were done, his car would be better than new and more than ready to run the cheating bastard into the ground.

He reached into his pocket to pull out his pack of cigarettes, bending over to accept Kenma's offer of a light, and took a deep drag to steady his nerves. Being emotional during a race was the fastest way to get a ride to the morgue, so he needed to re-center himself. By then, the rest of his team had caught up to him, and Tora's particularly heated spiel about Daishou and his team helped bleed away most of the anger as they walked back to the starting line. Kenma had slipped away at some point, and Yaku was nowhere to be seen, so they were probably working on the car while he settled down. Really, he didn't deserve his friends.

By the time they arrived back at the beginning, the cool night air had washed away the rest of his irritation, which was probably Kenma's intention in making him walk back with the others. Shouhei and Yaku had just finished installing new tires, and Kenma was hunched over his laptop again on the curb, only looking up briefly when Kuroo sat down next to him.

"Thanks."

Kenma shrugged, his face bleached by the light from his screen. "I'm just doing my job."

"I mean earlier."

Kenma shrugged again, and a comfortable silence settled between them, broken only by the clicking of the keyboard. The rest of the team was huddled around the car, making checks and occasionally bringing Kenma more numbers, gradually shifting to sit around their captain and his brain, filling the silence with their chatter as other drifters made their runs.

"Hey, wait! You're playing a game, Kenma!" Lev protested, peering over Kenma's shoulder. "What about the race?"

"Kuroo will be fine," Kenma replied calmly as Kuroo looked over at his screen too, which seemed to be displaying the view through a sniper's scope. "His car's fine, and Daishou wants to beat Kuroo. If he tries the same thing, it'll be suspicious, and even if he did, if Kuroo doesn't spin out again, then Daishou will lose. And Kuroo is better than him, so if he does try anything else, it'd be more likely that he'd mess up and Kuroo would still win. His best chance at this point is a fair fight, and that means Kuroo could drive laps around him all day."

Kuroo grinned, standing up and stretching. "Well then, I guess that's my cue to get ready. I'll see you all at the finish line."

He walked over to his car, standing by the driver's door and just running a hand over the shining, red exterior for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, he got inside, strapping himself down. The familiar feeling of exhilaration that he got just before a run made him smile as he pulled into place behind the next pair of cars, watching out of the corner of his eye as Daishou pulled up next to him.

And then, soon enough, they were flying down the road, Kuroo chasing again, keeping the pressure on his opponent. As Kenma had said, there was no way for Daishou to beat him, and he proved that as he took the lead at the very first bend, hitting the edge perfectly while gunning his engine through the whole course, making the best run that he'd probably ever done and leaving Daishou in his dust. If it was possible, he was even sharper on the turns than he had been against Sakishima, pushing himself and his car to the utmost limit. And there was no better feeling than watching the Snake come up to him to shake his hand after his loss, smiling like it hurt his teeth.

"As expected of the Drift King. But it won't last forever. Someday, someone will knock you off that throne."

And Kuroo had smiled back, the smirk that he knew infuriated Daishou more than anything else.

"Come at me whenever you want. I'll beat you down every time."

[A/N2: This isn't KuroKen. They're just really good childhood friends, so Kenma knows how to calm Kuroo down because they've been part of each other's lives for so long, and Kenma in particular is good at paying attention to people. Kuroo gets pissed at Daishou for calling Kenma his "girlfriend" not because of the implication that he's "whipped" (because Kuroo is perfectly secure in his masculinity), but rather because I have a headcanon that Kenma got teased a lot for being "girly" (weak, thin, kinda androgenous, etc.) growing up, so Kuroo still gets upset when that's used to insult his best friend (even though Kenma honestly doesn't give a fuck). But they're not in a romantic relationship; they just spend a lot of time together.

Of course, if you wanna interpret it as KuroKen, that's your prerogative, but that wasn't my intention in writing this.]

[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track six

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist | visual by @brockhsmpton​

“Okay so let me get this straight. You have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend is famous. You’re flying to LA with said boyfriend. And you’re staying at his house? Cause he’s 20 and has a fucking house.” 

“Uh yeah, that pretty much covers it.” 

“Jesus, I move across the country and then you decide to start getting interesting.”

Indy flipped her grilled cheese over in the skillet, and then flipped off the camera, getting an eye roll from Charlie that she felt through the facetime call.

“You gonna be okay on the plane?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” she grumbled, trying to push the nagging thoughts from her mind. 

“Indiana. You’ve gotta tell him before you get on that plane. If you can even get on the plane that is.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it. Just drop it, okay?”

Her list of distractions was dwindling as she finished all the work that had been piled on her before fall break, which was really only a long four day weekend. All she had left was an exam that afternoon, and then it would be time to go. 

Grayson had insisted that they take Beks advice, take a trip out of the city to somewhere other than Jersey. It had been an interesting conversation to say the least.

“That sounds fun but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

She hesitated. Her usual excuse for getting out of things that made her anxious was simple. School. Too much homework, upcoming exam, blah blah blah. Usually that just earned her an eye roll, maybe an off hand ‘nerd’ comment too, but then the subject would be dropped. 

Grayson wouldn’t be swayed that easily; and, she didn’t even have her default option. She scrambled for ideas with her thoughts running wild until he reached across the couch and laid his hand on top of hers.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

“I was thinking about airports.” It wasn’t a lie, but that was only partially the culprit of the knot in her stomach. 

“It’s a straight flight to LA, super easy. I’ve done it way too many times, I know my way around.”

She chewed her lip and he squeezed her hand. 

“C’mon, you’ll love it. LA is shitty sometimes but it’s amazing too. And you can meet Eden finally, she’s always asking about you. And Adele too. And I can show you the house, the pod studio. We can go surfing if you want. I’ll take you to Monty’s.” 

“Gray. I can’t afford it.” 

“Like I was gonna make you pay for it,” he laughed, but she stayed still beside him, unable to find the same amusement. 

“I don’t want you to spend money on me like that.”

“Money doesn’t mean much to me. Doesn’t mean anything to me really,” he shrugged - she couldn’t imagine what that must feel like. It felt a bit hypocritical, for her to be acting like she struggled with money while she sat in her nice Chelsea apartment. But that money hadn’t come from her own pockets - it came with the price tag of guilt and the threat of it being taken away if her dad felt like it, which kept her and her ever shrinking savings account on edge. Money didn’t seem to be a real concept in the Dolan family however, and she tried to remind herself of that while Gray toyed with her fingers. 

He switched to other tactics of persuasion when the silence stretched a bit too long, moving closer and nuzzling into her neck, pressing little kisses to her skin in between murmurs of “please Dee” and “c’mon baby”.

She conceded, gently tugging on his hair to get him to come back to her.

“Fine. But I’m paying you back one day. When I can.”

Grayson knew that wouldn’t be for years, and he liked the idea of her and him that far in the future, so he just nodded and kissed her again. 

Charlie stayed on the line while Indy ate and then moved on to finish her packing, throwing in too many outfits for just four days and four nights, but she wasn’t sure what California called for. It took her a good five minutes of digging to find her bathing suits that she hadn’t drug out since the summer, but she eventually added them to the bag as the final touch and got everything ready. Charlie convinced her to take a few pieces of skimpier clothing in case the ‘vibes were right’, which had Indy blushing bright red and eventually making an excuse to get off the phone before she had to get into her sex life any further with her sister. 

Her breathing settled for a moment when her phone buzzed, a message from ‘gray 💚  ’.

Plane snacks?

Also does coffee make you shit your pants

Cause I’ll get you some for the ride to the airport if it won’t hurt your tummy on the plane

:)

Leave it to him to put a smile on her face even as her stomach continued to turn. She tried to convince herself it was her exam that had her so worked up, but she knew better. 

if 4 years as a barista gave me anything it was immunity in that department

so yes to the coffee pls :)

and just get me whatever you’re getting for snacks please

Gotcha, I’ll swing by and get your bag

Good luck on your exam! Not that you need it

I’ll be waiting outside in the ugly ass truck 💜  I love you

see you soon, I love you too

With that she packed up the last few things, leaving her bag in plain sight before she left for class. She was able to clear her mind enough on her walk, getting herself into ‘school mode’ before she got to the building. The exam went easily, as she expected that it would - it was nice to have subjects like medical terminology that were so cut and dry sometimes. Either you know it, or you don’t, as Nicole used to say. No point in guessing. 

Indy didn’t like having to guess. 

Which was why she had the airport map pulled up on her phone while she stood on the sidewalk, leaned up against the building as she tried to plan out the best way to get to the terminal that they needed. She’d already done this - three times, actually - but it made her feel better anyways. 

She heard the rumble of the engine first, but it only held her ears for a moment. Because then, it was a giggle, and a squeal, and a whispered voice saying “no, that’s them, that has to be them! Who the fuck else would have a truck like that?”

Indiana’s stomach tightened even more somehow at the realization of what was happening. Charlie’s voice rang in her ears - your boyfriend is famous.

They’d never talked about what to do in a situation like this, but she’d seen enough stories about celebrities who hid their relationships to know that ‘undisclosed’ was the default setting. Suddenly very thankful that she’d decided to go with a hoodie that morning, she pulled the fabric up over her hair and dropped her head, keeping her eyes trained upward to watch what Grayson was doing. 

She watched the girls go up to the cab and ask for a photo, which Grayson seemed to happily oblige to, though he didn’t get out of the car. He noticed her a moment later and his smile faltered at the realization that she’d been waiting on him. The girls asked him to give their love to Ethan and then went on their way. Indy held back for a few moments, waiting until they were out of sight before she hurried forward and got into the passenger seat. 

“You must have finished that exam quick, I figured I’d be waiting on you,” Gray teased, but his voice was a bit tight. 

“It was pretty easy, you either know it or you don’t.”

“Right. Well, I wouldn’t have known any of it,” he laughed, eyes still scanning the street - whether for cars or people, she couldn’t tell. “You ready to go?”

No. “Sure.”

The pair had felt the peace of comfortable silence enough in their relationship so far to know when it was absent, and there wasn’t a trace of it to be found. Indy was too caught up in her own mind to react to Grayson’s attempts to engage her, from the hand on her bouncing thigh to the looks he snuck, eyes darting from the busy road for a moment. She kept her coffee in both her hands - drinking it was counterproductive in terms of her nerves most likely, but the warmth of it was comforting enough for her to justify it. Grayson’s mouth got drier with every exit they passed, and he kept his cool until they got to the pay to park lot at the airport and he shifted the truck into park.

“We don’t have to go you know.”

The dejection in his voice was finally enough to pull Indiana out of her own little world. Her eyes came back into focus as she turned to him.

“Gray-”

“If it’s about the money, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just really wanted to show you LA, cause it’s a big part of me, and I didn’t want you to be stressed about the price of tickets.” 

“It’s not the money.”

“Then what is it? Because you’re pissed about something, obviously, and I’d like to be let in on the secret if you don’t mind.” 

She shrunk under his harsh tone, unsure of whether she should even say anything. She hated when she got like this, and hated even more that she didn’t even have a hope of control over it, despite it being herself, her own mind causing the issues.

“Planes.”

“What?”

“It’s not you, it’s planes. Airports. Flying in general. I just… I don’t like it.”

“Oh. Well, I mean, I’ve been on plenty of planes, and nothing bad has ever happened while I was on there.” There was an airiness to his tone, as if it was as simple as his own testimony fixing the entire situation.

“That… doesn’t help.” She didn’t even like the thought of him being on a plane, much less the both of them. She practically flinched at the sound of one flying over them.

Grayson’s wheels were turning, slower than he wanted them to as he scrambled for an idea, anything that could make her feel better at the realization that his words had only made it worse.

“Can I have a redo on that?” 

She looked up at him - at his sheepish smile and the blush on his cheeks, and the next breath she took in was a tad easier.

“Sure.”

“I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious, what can I do to help?”

His tone was so flat that they just looked at each other and then busted out laughing. Indiana couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her laugh when she felt so terribly. It was almost foreign to her - she felt like she shouldn’t be doing it somehow.

“Sorry, that was - fuck that was formal,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. “What I meant was, whatever you need, I’ll do. You just have to tell me.” 

“Uh… not going.”

His hand moved to the gear shift, ready to put it in reverse and leave. She placed hers on top of his, holding on when he moved away.

“Kidding.”

“No you aren’t.”

“Okay, maybe I’m a little serious. But I want to. I want to go, it’s just hard. Having someone with me that I trust helps though.”

His chest swelled a bit at the realization that he was considered one of those people - it was one of the best honors he could imagine being given by somebody that he cared about, probably because it wasn’t something that he gave out easily. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the soft skin.

“I’ll be with you then. You can hold onto me the whole time.”

“You sure about that?”

He frowned immediately at that, reaching his hand over to her thigh, running a thumb over the material of her leggings. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean you’re probably gonna have more fans coming up to you and stuff. I figured you didn’t want them like… knowing about me.”

“I never said that,” he countered, squeezing a bit. “I mean if you don’t want to, that’s okay, but I’m okay with it if you are.”

There was a sincerity to his gaze that conveyed what he hadn’t said - an almost plea for her to be okay with it. And so she was, at least enough for her to give him a nod and a quick kiss before stepping out of the truck. 

He got to her bags before she could, and he was grateful that he’d only brought a duffle. He managed both bags with one hand and grabbed onto hers with the other as they started through the parking lot.

And he didn’t let go a single time, apart from the security scans and her going to pee after they made it through, in which he waited outside the bathroom for her with his arms crossed. Ethan met up with them at the terminal, buzzing with excitement at the prospect of getting to see Eden for the first time in a month. He was staying an extra week to get some quality time with her, and he was a constant stream of excitement. Grayson kept his attention on Indy though, trying to read her for any signs that things were getting worse. He kept a hand on her bouncing leg, running a thumb back and forth constantly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her temple every so often.

“I’m gonna go check something really quick, I’ll be right back. Ethan, stay with her okay?” 

Ethan didn’t question it. He slid over to replace his brother for a moment as he headed up to the desk at the gate. Despite his bubbly charm, Ethan had a calmer nature to him than Grayson did, no matter how hard he tried to exude the same level headedness. It came effortlessly to his twin it seemed.

“Gingerale helps calm me down on planes. Don’t know why but it does,” he mumbled, scooting a bit closer so his arm was pressed up along hers on the small bars between their seats.

He didn’t seem to need a response, and Indy was grateful. She leaned against him a bit more as a silent thank you that he seemed to accept, and they stayed that way until Grayson returned, switching out places again, wrapping his arm around her shoulder immediately.

“I upgraded us to first class.”

“What? Why!?” She spoke for the first time since the car, surprised that her voice still sounded stable. 

“You’ll see. C’mon, we’re about to board. You still sure you want to do this?”

She couldn’t give him an answer, but she stood up anyways and held onto his arm as they scanned their tickets and moved down the jet bridge. He pressed kisses to her blonde hair, ducking down a few times to check on her as they made their way down and got settled into their seats, Ethan settling into the row beside her. 

Indy kept her lip tucked underneath her top teeth, looking around at anything to distract her from where she was as her mind raced, so fast she couldn’t even pinpoint what was making her the most anxious. 

“Focus on me. I’m right here,” Grayson hummed, reaching over to turn her face towards his for a moment. “You’re okay. We’re okay.” 

“Yeah.” There wasn’t an ounce of conviction in her voice. She felt like she was going to cry, and she tucked her hood up over her ears, trying to drown out anything that sounded remotely like an airplane. Her lungs weren’t working how she wanted them to, and she sucked in breath after breath, none of them deep enough to relieve the tightness in her chest. 

“Here. Try this.” 

Long fingers tucked into her hood, moving her hair back from her ear so he could slip one of his headphones in. It fit snugly, and he scrambled to his phone, pulling up his Cudi playlist and scrolling through until he found what he wanted. The familiar intro of Teleport 2 Me, Jamie started to play as the final passengers boarded onto the rather large plane. How had everyone gotten on so fast? It seemed her mind was running away from her, making time move faster, bringing on the inevitable.

“This song makes me think about you, you know. I know Jamie is your middle name but still.” 

She barely registered his words as a few tears snuck out of the corner of her eyes. Even her lips were shaking as she tried to breathe, curling in on herself with her knees pulled to her chest. The flight attendant was nice enough to not ask to see her seatbelt, sensing that she was better left undisturbed.

The guilt started to eat Grayson alive as he watched her struggle, running a hand over her back and leaning over to hold onto her, looking to his brother for support. Ethan’s eyes were wide with concern but he was just as helpless, not even being able to reach a comforting hand across the aisle because of the flight attendants passing by. It only got worse as they began to move - Grayson couldn’t tell if she was shaking harder or if it was just the movement of the plane. 

The only good sign he got was her reaching her hand out in search of his. When he laced his fingers with hers she squeezed so hard he knew his bones were moving in a way they weren’t meant to, but he didn’t dare pull away. Not when he was the cause of her being in so much distress. It put a pit in his stomach, a mixture of the urge to apologize over and over and the wish that he could somehow climb inside her mind and soothe her, make her believe that she would be alright.

So, he did the next best thing he could think of. As soon as they had taken off, which felt like it took hours, he reached to her waist and unclipped her seatbelt. 

“Come here.” 

It took a moment for her to process, but once she understood Indy didn’t hesitate to climb over into his lap, curling up so small that she fit comfortably there in the wide first class seat, head tucked into the nook of his neck as he wrapped her up in his arms. 

“You’re okay, I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry, fuck I’m sorry,” she squeaked. If anyone else in first class heard it, they elected to ignore it. “It’s not usually this bad.”

“Shhhh, don’t. Just close your eyes. We’ll be there before you know it, okay?”

She reached a hand up to his neck, tucking it in against his skin under his sweatshirt as an anchor before she closed her eyes. She wrestled with her mind, trying to override with a focus on what she was physically feeling - his warm skin under her fingertips, the roughness of his beard against her forehead, the change of the song in her headphone. Her other ear was pressed against his chest and she tried to listen for his heartbeat, getting sidetracked when his hand moved her hoodie up barely so he could get underneath to her skin. One finger began to trace.

I-M-S-O-R-R-Y

She shook her head, tilting up to press her nose against him. It was her that should be apologizing, she thought. She hadn’t warned him properly of what to expect. That being said, it was true that she hadn’t had such a bad experience in a while - it only clicked then that it probably had to do with the fact that Grayson was on the plane too. If it crashed and she died, so would he, and the thought of it made her want to hurl. Instead, she clung to him tighter, forming letters by his collarbone with her fingertip.

N-O-T-Y-O-U-R-F-A-U-L-T

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, leaving his lips there for a moment before he shifted and rested his cheek on top of her head.

S-T-I-L-L-S-O-R-R-Y

She nuzzled closer to him.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U

Against her hip, she felt four gentle squeezes, a silent I love you too as they continued through the sky. 

--------------------------

“Jesus. It’s hot. Like, hot hot.” 

“Ethan. It’s Cali. Of course it’s fucking hot.”

“Yeah, but it’s not natural for it to be this hot in fucking October. Anywhere.”

Indy listened to their bickering quietly, catching her breath a little more with each mile she put between her and the airport. It was just her leg bouncing now as she sipped on her gingerale - it had appeared on her tray table at some point in the flight and she hadn’t been able to stomach it until she made it out of the airport and into Ethan’s tesla, which was driven by Adele, a sweet woman with a kind smile and soft voice. 

Grayson sat in the backseat with her, still on alert for any sign that she was anxious, hand resting on her thigh. But he breathed easier as he watched her body finally begin to accept that she was on the ground, and by the time they pulled up to the gate she was almost back to her normal self. 

She enjoyed the feeling of her feet on the hard concrete of the driveway when she got out of the car, feeling a bit like a celebrity when the door swung open over her head. Grayson grabbed the bags and was immediately at her side, taking her hand and leading her up to the door. It wasn’t the first time that Indy had seen the inside of the house - she’d gotten glimpses of it on a few vlogs that they’d watched with Bekah one night. But there was a warmth to the space that didn’t quite read on camera, a familiarity that she realized was traces of Grayson everywhere, from the Cudi vinyls on the shelf to the wood based furniture that he’d definitely had a hand in making. 

“I’m going to get Eden, I’ll be back in… I don’t know how long,” Ethan winked, immediately grabbing his keys and heading back out to the still warm Tesla, leaving his bag off the side of the kitchen.

“You up for a tour?” 

If she was honest, her body was entirely exhausted, and her mind wasn’t far behind. But she perked up for his sake and nodded, taking his hand as he started to guide her through the house. He stopped in each room, showing off little details he’d helped pick out, from the colorful couch in the sunken room off the kitchen to the floating desk in Ethan’s room that he’d helped him install. The podcast studio was the most eclectic of any of them, with a massive wooden table that almost seemed carved around the blue light in the middle - not to mention the hot pink wall of the entrance, which was cut off by a wild jungle wallpaper wall that stretched from one end of the house to the other. Grayson spoke a mile a minute, explaining every step, every change they had made to the house since they’d bought it. Indy’s mind struggled to keep up, to visualize what he was saying, describing rooms she���d never seen.

“Ethan got the master this time around, so my room is a little smaller, but it’s cooler anyways.”

He guided her into a dark room on the right side of the hallway. It was somehow calmer than the rest of the house, and it practically zapped the rest of the energy out of her as soon as she passed the threshold. He showed her the green bathroom, the fancy toilet he’d picked out, his massive and meticulously organized closet. But when she flopped down onto the bed, she knew she was done for. 

Grayson smiled when she hummed against the comforter - the first true sign of relaxation she’d shown since he’d picked her up from campus that morning.

“You tired bubs?” 

“No,” she lied.

“You wanna take a nap?”

“No.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

“I’m resting, I just need like… 30 seconds.”

“You can sleep.”

“You were gonna show me the backyard though.”

She felt the bed dip down slightly, and then his lips were on her temple.

“The backyard will be there when you wake up. Besides, I need to get some work done anyways, and you’ve had a shitshow of a morning. Sleep, and maybe we can go get dinner with E squared later if you’re up for it, and I’ll take you to the beach.”

“E squared?” She muttered, only half motivated to stay awake for the answer. 

“Ethan and Eden. They’ll be back over in a few hours I’m sure, he’s saving us from having to listen to their reunion fuck through the walls.”

“How considerate.” Her voice was muffled in the pillow, and it made Grayson smile. He moved to his closet, opening the extra drawer he used to store his blankets and pulling one out for her. 

She vaguely felt the weight of the fabric being laid over her, and a gentle hum that sounded like ‘I love you’ before her body finally gave in and succumbed to sleep.

As soon as he knew she was out, Grayson got to work on all the things that he’d neglected in the last month. He made quick work of a full email inbox, a few calls that he stepped out of the room for, a Wakeheart campaign approval that he forwarded to Ethan - something about being back in LA lit the fire under him that always seemed to simmer out in the cool Jersey air. It took less thought, less intention to go into his kitchen, use his preset on the coffee machine with his favorite mug under it. Jersey was home, but LA was home, and he never realized how much he loved it until he was away for a while. His phone buzzed, loud against the counter - a text from Ethan running across his screensaver of the only picture he’d taken with Indy so far. He made a mental note to take more over the next few days before he opened the message.

Be there in 10, make sure everyone has pants on

He liked the message and stood up slowly, closing his laptop before heading back towards his room. He paused in the doorway, unable to help himself as he looked in. 

Indiana was sprawled out across his bed, one of her legs escaping from under the covers. The pillow was tucked under her head, held by one arm while the other reached out to the empty side of the bed, hand splayed out on the fabric. With his phone already in his hand he couldn’t help but to snap a quick picture of her, a sweet memory that he knew he’d want to keep. He felt a little guilty having to wake her up from what seemed like such a peaceful nap, but he also knew she’d be made if he didn’t give her a chance to freshen up before Eden got there. So he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple, rubbing along her back until her eyes blinked opened.

“Time to get up sleepyhead,” he teased, keeping his hand on her hip as she rolled over and stretched out in the most adorable way.

“Hmmmm, c’mere,” she grinned, reaching up for him and pulling his lips down to hers. The little cat nap seemed to be the recovery her body needed, a reset that allowed her mind to focus on other things, like how good Grayson looked in the fresh t-shirt that he’d changed into while she was out. He indulged her, moving a knee onto the bed so he could get above her and get behind the kiss.

“Ethan’s gonna be here in 10,” he murmured, but his lips still moved against hers, his relief palpable that she seemed to be doing better. 

“Then we have 9.”

“Eden’s coming too.”

She pulled back with wide eyes, and before he could say another word she was rolling out from underneath him. It took her two whole rolls to get to the other side of the bed, which was almost as endearing to Grayson as the way she scurried to her bag in the closet, immediately pulling out clothes like her life depended on it.

“Baby, it’s just Eden.”

“No, it’s Ethan’s girlfriend Eden. Which means she’s not just Eden, it means she’s very important.”

“Important? You act like this is a job interview or something.”

“It’s a girlfriend interview, which is worse.”

“A what?” He struggled to stay focused on her answer as she pulled her leggings off and wiggled into a pair of high waisted black jean shorts as she spoke.

“When you have a woman in your life, a good woman, who isn’t your girlfriend, they go into protective mode. It’s a maternal thing I think, but it doesn’t matter who it is, they keep an eye out for you. And the biggest threat that those women can see for their guy friend is a new girlfriend. It doesn’t mean she’s gonna hate me, but she’s definitely gonna want to vet me at the least. And I bet it’s worse because I’ll be around Ethan so much so she’ll want to be extra careful. Plus, she doesn’t know me from adam, and...hey. Hey. Are you listening to me?”

At some point in the middle of her explanation she’d taken her shirt off, and Grayson’s mind had gone a bit fuzzy at the sight of her bra - dark purple, with a peek of lace under the cups.

“Yeah, yeah sorry. Eden’s nice though, she’s sweet, there’s nothing to be scared of.” 

She turned to him with a frustrated frown that he kissed away when he closed the distance between them, hands moving to hold her bare hips. Her skin was soft and still had a trace of warmth from sleep, and it made him hold on and rub his thumbs against her for a moment, trying to process that she was actually there with him. 

“If you say so.”

“I do say so, and besides, her opinion of you isn’t going to change my opinion of you.” He kissed her forehead quickly and let go so she could get ready. She pulled a tank top on and headed into the bathroom, freshening up until the moment that she heard the front door open, signally Ethan and Eden’s arrival. 

“Do I look okay?”

“Perfect as always,” he beamed, taking her hand and leading her back out towards the kitchen.

“Grayson!” 

Eden came running around the island and barrelled into Grayson like she hadn’t seen him in years. He caught her with a smile, a laugh and a ‘hey evil’, an inside joke that Indy wasn’t let in on. She didn’t have time to dwell on it though, because she was immediately wrapped up in tan arms, her vision obscured by a curtain of wavy black hair. 

“Hi! I’m Eden, it’s nice to meet you.” 

“Hey, Indiana, nice to meet you too!” 

The hug was as awkward as any first hug she’d ever had, but the smile on the boy’s faces made it worth it when Indy pulled back. Ethan was glowing in the way you only glow after you get laid for the first time in a long time, and he’d apparently worked up an appetite, because they didn’t spend more than five minutes in the house before they were headed out to Monty’s. Indy still tried to open the Tesla door like a normal one, barely stepping back in time when it lifted up above her head. To her surprise, Eden jumped into the backseat beside her, forcing Grayson up to the passenger seat next to Ethan. 

“So, you’re in school right? To be a nurse?”

“A doctor actually, but yeah, I graduate in a little over a month with my Bachelor’s,” Indy explained, preparing herself for the questions she was sure to get, being careful to be truthful in her answers without accidentally saying something that would make Eden hate her. Ethan’s girlfriend had a sweet face, peppered in freckles that almost looked faded in her warm toned skin. Her eyes sat large on her face, making her look a bit like a doe. But her outfit told a different story - everything about it spoke confidence and bad bitch energy in a way that Indiana was only used to seeing on LA model’s instagrams. It hit her quickly that it was very much possible that Eden might actually be an LA model, and the thought made her mouth run dry.

“What do you do?”

“I’m a graphic designer.”

“Oh really? That’s amazing! What kind of work do you do?”

Eden launched into her career, from how she got there to what major brands she’d worked for - some of which shocked Indy. Grayson reached back behind his seat a few minutes into the drive, holding onto her leg and running his thumb along her skin as he balanced listening to his brother and listening to the girls. The energy settled in the cab, and Indy breathed out a sigh of relief at the realization that, for now at least, she’d passed the test. 

It didn’t stop the questions though. A constant stream of information grabs, from her favorite things about New York to her family. Grayson squeezed tight when Eden mentioned her mom, throwing Ethan an unjustified look of annoyance. Indiana didn’t mind, though she didn’t love the look of pity that came over Eden’s face when she let her know that she had passed. But it moved on quickly, on to questions of her apartment, her college, her friends. 

The only pause came when the Tesla rolled to a stop outside of Monty’s, which was packed with a long line outside. Eden let out a small sigh, reaching down for her purse.

“Usual, guys?”

They both nodded, a bit of unspoken tension growing in the air.

“Indiana, you wanna come with? The boys can just circle around.” 

“I uh… yeah, yeah sure.” Indy went along with it, stepping out of the car quickly, trying to look back at Grayson through the window for some explanation, but they were so tinted that she couldn’t even guess what his facial expression was. Eden linked their arms quickly, leading her down the sidewalk and to the back of the line as if nothing had happened. Indy watched Ethan pull away quickly, and swore she could see a very concerned Grayson through the windshield.

“It makes it easier if they don’t have to get out. Too many people, and with a line this long the paps would show up.”

Two brunette girls in front of them turned around, interest piqued. 

“Paps? For who?”

“No one, mind your damn business,” Eden said, waiting until they turned around to melt back into her usual friendly demeanor. 

“I didn’t even think about that. About like, getting recognized I guess. But it happened in New York for the first time this morning, on campus.”

“LA is the worst for it. People see you take a picture with someone and then ask for one even if they don’t know who they are. Well, most people our age know who they are actually, but still. It’s not as bad in other places, just the occasional person. Et-” she cut herself off, knowing the girls were still eavesdropping. “He loves meeting fans but it gets to be a lot sometimes. So I try to help him out when I can. They’ll never ask for it, but they never turn it down either.”

Indy swallowed hard. She said it so casually, as if it was totally normal for the two of them to be standing there while their boyfriends drove around just so they didn’t get mobbed. She felt like a million pairs of eyes were on her as they inched forward in line every few moments. Eden just looked at her nails, picking at her cuticles. 

“Does it ever get… normal? Them being recognized?”

“You learn to ignore it. And they don’t go out as much as you think. We’ll go out to show you around because you’ve never been here, but most of the time they’re home bodies. They kinda had to be, coming out here so young.” 

“I can’t imagine coming out here at 15,” Indy mumbled, shaking her head. 

“They’ve been through a lot. But then again so have you. So has everyone, at the end of the day.”

She was taken aback by the sudden depth of the conversation, but it didn’t last long, because soon they were close enough to the menu that Indy was asking questions. The Tesla circled again while they waited on the food, which came in little brown boxes stuffed into a bag. The girls waited on the curb for Ethan to pull back around, climbing in as inconspicuously as they could, getting settled into the backseat again. 

“Got the goods?”

“You know it,” she grinned. Grayson reached back for Indiana again - he’d missed her in the few minutes that they were gone, and he didn’t realize he’d been anxious until it faded when she was back with him.

“We’re going to the secret beach, it’ll be like 10 minutes, so don’t eat all my fries.”

“I bought us all an extra to share.”

“Atta’ girl,” Ethan said, pressing on the gas a bit harder. 

The secret beach, it turned out, was just a less populated one. But it was peaceful, washed pink by the beginnings of a sunset over the ocean. Grayson couldn’t tell if he was more overwhelmed by the colors in the sky or the feeling of finally having his own girl with him, someone’s hand to hold as he moved down the sand beside his brother and Eden. It had been almost a year of him being a third wheel, and he couldn’t stop looking over at Indy, his girl, who was there with him. 

Her eyes were on the ocean. Sure, she’d seen the atlantic ocean plenty of times, but the pacific was different. It seemed bigger somehow, bluer, and it took her breath away. Food forgotten, she tugged on Grayson’s hand, only pausing to kick off her shoes before she was running down towards the water, laughing when the froth of the waves tickled her toes. Grayson’s shoes were soaked, but he didn’t care as he followed her down the coastline, laughing and yelling, picking her up around the waist and spinning her around, stopping to kiss her hard as the waves crashed. Ethan took a video on Grayson’s phone, a proud smile on his face as he watched his brother light up. Eden rested her head on his shoulder, remembering the days where that was the two of them, when everything was brand new and on fire. 

The duo’s burgers were cold by the time they made it back up the beach, and Ethan had already started in on Grayson’s fries, much to his dismay. But they settled in the sand and ate their food, falling back into the group conversation between bites and swallows.

“So, you’ve been in LA for what, 5 hours now? Are you sold yet?” Ethan picked up another fry from the extra container, dropping it into his mouth.

“It’s gonna take a lot more to sell me on anywhere this far west,” she laughed, crumpling up the paper that her burger was wrapped in and tossing it into the box.

“Has Grayson made you a Jersey girl already?” Eden teased.

“It’s grown on me for sure, but nowhere compares to New York.”

Grayson chewed his last fry a bit slower.

“Yeah? Ethan took me into the city once when we were visiting Jersey but I don’t know much about it if I’m honest. I grew up in Texas.” 

“The city is special once you get to know it. There’s so many different people, different cultures, new places to go. And it’s got all the best hospitals, which just makes me work harder because I want to work in one some day. Plus it uh… it’s just always been home to me. I can’t imagine living anywhere else really.” 

Grayson’s stomach tightened, suddenly very full of food and smaller than when he’d started eating. They’d never really discussed living situations. He racked his brain, tried to remember if he ever mentioned that he was only staying in Jersey until the tiny homes were done. Surely she realized that he was going to come back to LA. He couldn’t tell if he’d subconsciously thought that she would want to move with him, or if he just assumed that they would handle the distance. But his mind was instantly filled with the image of Indy curled in on herself in a first class seat, and he resisted the urge to get up and walk it off as the guilt returned. The sun seemed to set faster, turning the beach indigo as everyone got up and headed back for the car. 

Ethan took an extra moment to fold up the picnic blanket they’d brought, letting the girls get just out of earshot. 

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t go all doomsday on this shit and shoot yourself in the foot. Cross the distance bridge when you get to it. You all haven’t been together a month yet, if you start talking moving across the country she’s gonna freak. Give it time.”  

Most of the time, Grayson despised Ethan’s big brother persona - 20 minutes wasn’t a flex when it came to maturity in his book. But in certain moments, he was grateful for his level head. It helped him breathe a little easier as he headed back to the car, happy to see that Eden had shifted to the front seat. He took the back, a bit annoyed at the space between their seats - another perk of his Porsche, no doubt. But he settled for resting a hand on Indy’s thigh and leaning over for the occasional kiss as they found their way home.

Each couple bid their goodnights despite the early hour, a silent understanding of the do not disturb courtesy to be followed. Indy and Gray bumped hips as they brushed their teeth in the same sink, toothpaste filled smiles shining at each other in the mirror. They fell into each other like they’d done it a million times, even though they could still count on two hands the amount of times they’d had each other like this. It didn’t matter that they were in a new place. Grayson felt the same above her, beside her, behind her as they worked each other up and eased each other down. Their voices echoed off the walls the same, the attempt to stay quiet still there as they tried to give the other couple the same respect that they were no doubt trying to give them. 

The travel caught up with Indy first - she was much less versed in time changes after all, and she fell asleep right after her quick shower, curled up in Grayson’s arms, his nose full of her vanilla shampoo and his mind racing, running laps around two words. New York.

He felt like he heard more about the city in his next few days than he did when he was actually there. They facetimed Bekah the next morning, glad to see that she’d made it out of surgery successfully, and that all was smooth sailing so far. She was ecstatic that her two friends we’re getting a break, and she excitedly showed them the new view of the city she had since her recovery room was on the other side of the hospital.

Indy wore a New York sweatshirt that evening when they went back to the secret beach, and she fell asleep with it on on the couch at home, leaned back against Grayson’s chest. He carried her to bed and kissed her forehead, but his eyes focused on the letters, which seemed to be staring at him in the dark.

They ordered pizza for lunch the next day, after an anxiety filled morning of Eden and Indy in a follow car behind the two of them longboarding with their friends. Eden asked about what made NYC pizza so much better, and it seemed like Indy could have talked for hours about crust and sauce, seasoning and ratios. 

By the third day, it was consuming his every thought, and despite Ethan’s advice to let it play out, he knew he had to talk to her, or at least try to.

Indy was none the wiser. The LA sun had warmed her skin and her mind, leaving little lines of its presence on both. By the second day the house felt less like a hotel and more like a home, and she understood why the boys loved it so much. Eden became more than an acquaintance; she was easy to love, and the interview seemed to have stopped for the most part. But a part of her still itched for her New York apartment, the bustle of the city, the familiarity of campus and Jets and the blocks that she walked down.

She thought she’d hidden it well, but she learned she was mistaken on the last night they spent in LA.

“You’re ready to leave, aren’t you?” 

Indy perked up from where she had settled on his chest. It was routine now, for her to rest against him and trace patterns on his skin before they dozed off.

“Hmm?”

“You’re tracing N-Y-C on my chest. You want to go home.”

“Home sounds nice, the plane ride doesn’t though,” she laughed a bit. Laughing was good. Calm, and put together. “Guess it’s just my subconscious.”

Grayson sighed against her, running his fingers over her back as he looked up at the ceiling.

“I didn’t realize you were so attached.”

“To what?”

“To the city.”

“Oh. Well, yeah. I mean, it’s home.”

“Home can be multiple places. LA is home, Jersey is home, hell, even Australia is home for me in a way.”

Indy’s neck got tired from craning up at him, so she shifted up to sit with her legs criss cross as he lounged back against the pillows. 

“Well, I’ve never really had to make anywhere else home. New York has everything I need I guess.”

“You’ve never wanted to try somewhere else?”

Indy sighed, finally understanding.

“Gray, baby, it’s not like I hate it here. I know it’s important to you, and it should be. I’m just saying that New York is… well, it’s New York. It’s important to me, it’s where I’ve planned out my future.”

He sat up further, propping up on his elbow, resting a hand on her knee. 

“What does that mean though? ‘New York is New York’. I mean, it’s a cool city, I’ll give you that, but it’s not just that, right?”

It took a moment for Indy to find her words. She’d never really tried to explain it to anyone, but if anyone would get it, it was him.

“It’s my mom.” 

Grayson’s face fell immediately, and he opened his mouth, but she kept talking before he could.

“I know she’s not there. She’s wherever she is, I guess. But she breathed New York Grayson. That’s the last place that I knew her while she was still her, and the last place that she knew me. My memories of her live in that city, and when I’m not there I feel like I’m even farther away from her. And I already feel like I’m forgetting little things, because it’s been 4 years now, and I can’t even tell what I can’t remember, and it’s scary.”

Her breath caught in her throat a bit at the realization of what she was saying, what she was admitting. She’d never spoken any of it, not even to Charlie. 

“Leaving would feel like moving on and leaving her behind, and I can’t do that. I can’t.” 

Her face fell into her hands, and when Grayson’s arms moved around her and pulled her close, she let him. 

He held her there until her tears stopped, rocking her barely back and forth until the wave had passed. He thought of Sean, of where he was, and what he would say. And he did his best to take on the heart of his father, to be like the man he so admired - selfless, and good, and strong for others no matter what it cost him. He pressed a kiss to her hair before he spoke.

“No one is asking you to leave. I promise, I’ll never ask you to leave. I promise.”

[codename-adler]

Kevin Day and his Oblivious Literature Lover, pt.IV

In times of college finals, aftg is my coping mechanism of predilection. hope it helps some :)

>> Table of Contents,TW and other parts here!

i’ll let you guess what Kevin and Juliet chose for their project

oh, yes

the letters of Hamilton, Eliza and John + Hamilton: The Musical

i will fight you on this

at first, when Juliet suggests it, Kevin stares at her so hard bc really?? a musical??

but then she lends him the 50$ leatherbound official book of the musical (you know the navy blue and beige one? you know what i’m talking about, right?) and reads it all in one evening and wow

lin-manuel miranda? genius. ron chernow? Genius. alexander hamilton? Dumb Genius.

oh yeah and Juliet? Absolutely mind-blowing genius.

as Andrew & Neil grow closer and the match agaisnt the Ravens rounds the corner, Kevin finds himself looking more and more forward to the time spent at the library with Juliet

she is just so focused on their project and so oblivious as who he really is and doesn’t really care if sometimes he is more anxious, if freaks over everything to be perfect, if he babbles on&on&on&on about any bit of history he discovered

she’s just there, smirking, stiffling her laughs and asking for more

they’ve exhanged phone numbers and she installed snapchat on his, and although he never sends her anything, she always has a short video and a funny caption that pop up from time to time; they’re that little reminder that the world goes on outside of exy and that he exists outside of exy

she introduces him to funny videos and he didn’t know absolute dumb shit could make him snort??

his favorite is the peanut butter baby

at first the Foxes give him this judgemental look when he ugly-snorts in the locker room or at Eden’s, but eventually they just get that glint in their eyes as if they were in on the jokes

sometimes, Juliet’s so focused on writing down bullet points in her notebook, peeling the skin off her lips, so unaware of Kevin’s personal hell of a life, that he just wants to spill out everything

although he’s not sure if it’s because he wants her to know him and stay, or because he wants her to reject him and therefore spare himself the trouble of getting attached...

she takes the decision for him

on a Thursday afternoon, on their planned study session, she doesn’t show up

she doesn’t answer her phone either

he even tries out a completely blacked out snap with “r u alive?” in caption

no answer

he gives her space, sending her occasional cat videos he thoroughly researches

if she watches them, she doesn’t say anything

on Monday afternoon, she doesn’t come to class

that’s when the panic Kevin’s been reigning in just... bursts

what if it’s Riko? 

what if it’s the Master?

what if it’s Ichirou?

what if, somehow, it’s the Butcher’s people?

that afternoon’s practice is hell for the Foxes, Kevin is ruthless and an asshole and very agressive

Dan waits for him outside the boys’ locker room as all the other Foxes leave (not even Andrew and Neil want to wait for him)

“Spit out your goddamn problem before I tell Coach to bench you next game”

oh, how Kevin wants to cuss her out

and then he looks  at her face, ready to vomit words, when he sees her worrying her lips

just like Juliet

it shouldn’t be enough to make him tear up, but it does

he still manages to keep as much of the truth to himself as he possibly can

“My EAL partner isn’t responding to my messages or my calls and she didn’t even come to class today and it stresses me the fuck out and what if it’s like with Neil, Dan?” he says in one breath, trying to tear out the net of his racket

Dan recomposes her face and gets that very serious look, the one she usually gets when someone touches her family

“It’s not, Kevin. That’s over. We got Neil back, we got you back, you got Jean back. The team didn’t even know who that person was. The most info we’ve gathered is what you just told me now. Yeah there are some bets but it’s mostly for funsies, nothing even remotely serious. You wanna look for her?” she soothes him.

“I don’t even know...”

“She lives on campus?” she asks.

“I don’t- I don’t know, Dan. I spent months with her and I can’t even vaguely say where she lives! How fucked up is that?” Kevin yells.

“It’s not even remotely fucked up, Kevin. You should know that. Does she have instagram? twitter? Or like, facebook?” she questions some more.

“God, I don’t know. She only sends me stupid fucking videos and I never even respond like the goddamn asshole I am...”

“Shut up. We’re all assholes at the end of the road, ‘kay? You ain’t better or worse than others. Now she sends them to you in text or somewhere else?”

“Sometimes texts... Sometimes the yellow app, the chat one. Why.”

“Oh great, that’s great. We can locate her, with snapchat, if she forgot to turn off the sharing. And if you’re comfortable with that, too. I know you’re not a creep like that. You’re creepy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But, not a creep.”

“Gee, thanks, Dan.”

“Hey, shush. You down or what?” she says, arching an eyebrow.

“Okay,” he answers, unable to make the fear go away without knowing for sure.

And so it turns out Juliet’s location is, in fact, knowable. Dan grabs one of Kevin’s shoulders as he leaves the court, squeezing her affection into her grip; he nods emotionally in her direction, as far as emotions can translate unto his face.

he doesn’t even know what he’ll do once he finds her, his brain is solely focused on the animated map that brings him closer and closer to Juliet

the more he progresses, the more he realizes he is far from Fox Tower, on a campus area he has never even seen

he stops before a decrepit building, old and moldy-looking

Jackie Kennedy Hall

student dorms? this shabby? she can’t possibly live-

except that she can, because there isn’t another building close and the map has brought him here, and he doesn’t really know her...

so Kevin straightens his shoulders, inhales deeply, and goes inside

he could go on and on and on about everything that is just wrong with the place, from the smell to the decoration, but he makes a beeline for the front desk (he’s lucky there’s even one)

he asks for a way to contact someone, flashes his press smile at the women behind the desk, gives up his ID in exchange for the room number

Juliet Grier, 418

stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs

heavy door, right, 412, 414, 416...

418

what, now?

Kevin hesitantly knocks once, twice

no answer

he knocks again and decides to speak up, in case she didn’t hear

“Juliet? It’s Kevin. Day. From EAL? Can I speak with you?”

still nothing

maybe she isn’t home... no, the map says she’s here. maybe she’s sleeping...

he decides to try one last time

“We really should finish that project, you know? I think we could both use the free time...” he says without his heart into it.

without surprise, no response still

he decides to take a loose paper from his sachel and writes down some words

Greetings Hi,

My friend Dan helped me look for you, but you don’t have to worry about your privacy; it’s because of the yellow app. You should turn that off if you don’t want other people to be nosy. 

You weren’t in class today. I’ll share my notes if you want them. But, you should come to class, it’s better. For learning. 

I’ll wait a few in case you’re asleep. 

Text me or call me or whatever when you’re ready.

- Kevin D. (your partner from EAL)

quick, efficient, to the point

Kevin slips the paper under the door, and waits

he refreshes the map too many times, to see if her location changed or if somehow there was a glitch

it stays put

he ends up sitting on the hallway floor, his back sliding down the wall

he catches up on a book for another class, checks exy stats and watches many, many videos of Jeremy Knox on the court and in interview

some students pass him with a nasty look, eyeing the lack of earphones on his phone

some other students walk by him and will themselves to keep going, because holy shit it’s Kevin Day in Jackie Hall

it’s at least an hour and a half before the doorknob slowly and quietly starts to click

Kevin was absorbed deep into whatever move Knox was making before scoring

the 418 door opens

Kevin gets up in one move, all things Jeremy Knox and exy forgotten

she’s loosely holding Kevin’s paper in one hand, the other clutching a large scarf that covers up the majority of her body

from what he can see, though, she’s wearing sweats from head to toe; her hair’s tied on the top of her head, but most of the curls escaped and it looks unwashed and her curls, dry

her skin’s turned pale, dark circles under her eyes, a haggard look in them, her cheeks stained with dry tears

Juliet looks terrible

“Hi...” Kevin attempts

she finally looks up from the paper and gives him a bored look that could rival Andrew’s

with a rough voice strained from cries and many days without speaking, she asks, “My EAL partner?”

“Well, yes. In case.”

“In case of what.”

“I-”

“I know who you are, Kevin.”

and isn’t that both his most ardent wish and his worse fear?

with that, she turns around and goes back to her dark room, leaving the door open behind her

is that... an invitation?

Kevin’s never been to another person’s place, apart from the Columbia house, Abby’s and Wymack’s

he reminds himself why he came in the first place and decides it would be a waste to leave now, right?

the small studio is a mess, much like its occupant

there are clothes everywhere, on the floor, on a chair, on the bed, on the desk

all the curtains are drawn, no light is on, the only source coming from Juliet’s laptop somewhere amongst her bedsheets

it’s like she made herself a nest and hasn’t moved from there for a long time

maybe even since last Monday, the last time he saw her

Kevin doesn’t understand the scene he has before his eyes

he’s never seen such apathy in someone that is not Andrew

and at this point, apathy is pretty much Andrew’s default state of being

not Juliet’s

Juliet is a soft glow, toothy grins, wild curls, countless jumpers, dumb jokes and references, color-coded notes, an organized mind, unwavering focus and determination, flowing words and warm, kind eyes...

so what is this?

then Kevin realizes he spoke aloud

and Juliet can only chuckle sadly, almost mockingly

“This? This is why I don’t have friends. This is why I don’t mix with people. This is why I’ll never amount to anything in life. This is my dirty laundry, both metaphorically and literally. This is it. That’s... That’s it. This is what I get,” she answers flatly

Kevin’s mind is spinning

he doesn’t understand

he needs to understand, though

“Explain it to me,” he says

Juliet looks at him like a brick just hit him on the head and made him speak Swedish

“Why.”

“Because, surely there’s a way to work with it.”

she laughs

it doesn’t reach her eyes, nor her lips or her cheeks

it’s just a desperate sound

it makes him think of Andrew again

and that gives him an idea, a gut feeling, if you will

“Can I try something out?” he asks

“Kevin... I can’t- I’m tired... It’s not a good idea... I’m tired, Kevin,” Juliet responds, pain noticeable in her voice and her movements slow

“I know, I- I know. Someone I know... He plays this game. It’s really not a game, it’s more like a communication thing. He calls it “A Truth for a Truth”.  In exchange for something I tell you, you tell me something. And in exchange for something you tell me, I’ll tell you something else. It’s made me... work through some things... before,” Kevin explains calmly

Juliet keeps on observing him from her bed, silent

“Look, can I just stay here to do homework? I have nowhere to go right now,” Kevin asks, almost blurting out “Please” before Andrew’s ghost caught it in his throat

she lies back down, burries herself in her covers, a silent “yes”

Kevin ends up falling asleep sitting on the floor, books open, head resting at the end of Juliet’s bed

he wakes up around 2 AM

he’s got multiple texts from Aaron and Nicky, one from Andrew, and one from Dan

“told everybody you spent the night at Coach’s. take care.”

he silently vows to thank her later

now he either really goes to Wymack’s to finish his night there, or... he stays exactly where he is

Juliet is still sleeping soundly

in a haze, he palms for a pillow or cushion, pulls his hoodie on and lies back down on the carpeted floor

he’s only awaken in the late morning when he brutally gets stepped on

“What the shit?? Kevin! How...???” Juliet yells

“Um, ow? No, no, don’t apologize so quickly. You just, you know, crushed my lungs and a couple of ribs, no worries, Jules!” Kevin groans

“Ju- you know what? I’m not sorry. Right now I gotta pee, so you better have a damn good explanation when I get back,” she replies and leaves her room to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall

instead of dread, Kevin feels calm about the upcoming conversation

he doesn’t prepare lies, doesn’t run away, doesn’t resort to assholery

he just stays put where he is on the floor, snuggles deeper into his hoodie, and waits for relief, for the truth

he waits for Juliet

[absolutepx]

So I've been playing Death Stranding lately. Wait, that's not what this post is about. Well, it kind of is. Hang on. What is Death Stranding about?

A: Norman Reedus getting bare ass naked B. Sneaking around ghosts with the help of your sidekick, an actual baby C: Carrying 50 Amazon packages up a hill while trying to not topple over D: Waking up in the morning and drinking 5 Monster Energy™ for breakfast

For those following along at home, the answer is actually none of the above. Despite the set dressing being bizarre to the point of near absurdity, what the game is actually about, like thematically, is actually really simple.

See, the development of Death Stranding was actually quite a trip. Hideo Kojima is the video game world's equivalent of an auteur director. He has a very recognizable personal style. It's thoroughly horny – he caught a bunch of shit for the design of Quiet in MGSV, but like, a lot of Kojima characters are just -like that-, including the dudes. Also, this is going to possibly be important later.

Anyway, so Kojima was going to do a rebootmakequel of Silent Hill, and the demo actually made it to the PS store and I could actually write a whole side essay about why P.T. (it was called P.T. for some reason btw) was brilliant game design for how it used the same hallway over and over and it was somehow beneficial to the overall feeling of horror. So Konami it turns out kinda sucks nowadays and they like, fired Kojima (they were huge dicks about it behind closed doors, too) and scrapped the project and kicked him out on the street and kept the Metal Gear series which was his baby (literally the baby in the sink in P.T., he snuck a bunch of messaging about the Konami situation into the demo like a breakup album) and Kojima would go on to form his own studio and poach some of the people who worked with him to boot. So the thing about Kojima is this: he's got a reputation for already putting some wild shit in his games, like a ladder that takes like 10 real time minutes to climb in MGS3 for dramatic effect, and a boss in MGS3 that summons the ghosts of all the people you were too lazy to stealth past and killed, or a sniper battle with a really old guy that he wanted to have last two weeks or some shit until he died of old age but he was "told that "this was impossible and not recommended." That is a real quote I just looked up. So he's coming off the heels of making this hugely successful game with MGSV and the hype of the P.T. Demo and he fucking, he like took all the people that were going to be working on P.T. Along like Guillermo Del Toro was going to co-write it and Norman Reedus was going to star in it, and he's like, I'm going to make this game called Death Stranding. And the first trailer comes out for it and it's completely nuts. Norman Reedus wakes up naked on a beach crying with a baby and there are floating people in the sky? So we're all like hooooooly shit, there's no one to tell him "this is impossible and not recommended" anymore. What's he going to make now!?

So the whole time the game is in development I keep seeing these tweets where it'll be like, Kojima and one of his homies smiling with some saccharine message about being spiritual warriors and changing the world. And not just Del Toro and Reedus, there was Mads Mikkelsen (another guy Kojima puts in the game just because he apparently loves him), and the band Chvches, and also like, Keanu Reeves at one point? You know how everyone has just kind of accepted that Keanu is a being of light? Here he was endorsing Kojima. The hype was pretty confused and frantic.

The game eventually comes out. A lot of game journos hate it because I think there was this expectation it was going to be, you know, less weird and have more of the conventional structure of a video game. That's not to say the average gamer wasn't also dismissive of it, but I think on the ground level there was more of an understanding that like, yeah, Kojima just be like that sometimes.

Because the game was a timed console exclusive and your homie don't play like that, I spent the first year or so cautiously viewing Death Stranding from a distance. I wasn't sure I was going to like it – except for being really impressed with P.T., I wasn't actually a big fan of Kojima's games as games – but I -was- sure that I was going to buy it, because of the way Konami fucked him over, just out of support. And the shit I was hearing was really out there. The primary mode of gameplay is just delivery packages. You collect Norman Reedus' bathwater and pee and use it as grenades. You get a motorcycle that looks like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus, and when you sit on it, his character in the game says "Wow, this thing is like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus!"

But I didn't really want to know that much about it. Something has that much fucking crazy person energy, you want to go in mostly blind, right? So maybe people just weren't talking about this, or maybe I wasn't seeing it, but then I watched Girlfriend Reviews' video about it and they came right out and said it (link provided if you want to hear Shelby say it more articulately than me):

Death Stranding is basically about the exact opposite of Twitter. It's about remembering how to be kind to each other, how to reconnect in a world where people are so often hostile to each other by default. Prophetically, it's about a world where people are afraid to go outside or touch other people and how damaging that is. It's not a game about carrying packages, it's a game about helping people by being brave enough to walk through a wasteland carrying their burdens because they can't. It's about rebuilding the lost connections between people, about restoring roads and giving people hope. I bet, for Kojima and the people close to him, it's about how to answer hostility with compassion. You can't kill people in Death Stranding. You can and are absolutely encouraged to fucking throw hands with people sometimes, but all the tools and weapons are nonlethal. So I think Kojima took all the Twitter heat he got over the Quiet nontroversy, and all the feelings of isolation he had from Konami separating him from his team during the end of the development of MGSV, and all the support and encouragement he got from his bros Del Toro and Mads and the rest, and decided to channel that into making a game that was a statement about all of it. And sure, it's a little heavy handed, and sure, it's a little saccharine, and sure, the gameplay sometimes borders on miserable in service of creating emotional payoffs. For me, especially in 2020, this message is a huge success. Social media should be an opportunity for all of us to feel more connected to each other, yet primarily it feels like one of the main forces driving people apart. Why is that? Why is the internet of today such a hostile place? I'm old enough to remember web 1.0: I can haz cheezburger memes; YTMND; the early wild west days of Youtube... What happened to us? I've thrown the blame at Twitter in the past, and I think the architecture of the user experience on Twitter is absolutely a big piece of the puzzle, because it fosters negative interactions. But in terms of the behavior, people have observed that 2018 Twitter was actually almost exactly like 2014 Tumblr. (For the record, Tumblr is now one of the chillest places left on the internet, because so few fucks are left to give.)

I think part of it is the anonymity. The dehumanizing disconnection of the separation of screens and miles. Louis CK, before he was cancelled, had a great point about cyberbullying, and why it's so much more savage than kids are IRL. When you pick on someone in person and you are confronted with seeing the pain you caused them, for most sane people it causes negative feedback and you become disgusted with your actions and eventually learn to stop being a shithead. Online, at best you can "break the wrist, walk away".

At worst, you can become addicted to "clout chasing" and the psychological thrill of being cheered on by your social ingroup. It's even worse if you feel like it's not bullying and your actions are justified because whoever you've targeted is a bad person so you don't have to feel bad about what you do to them. This is where reductive, unhelpful catchphrases like "punch a nazi" come in. For every argument, one or both sides have convinced themselves that the other side is subhuman because their beliefs are so disgusting. And sometimes it's even true! A lot of times, especially these days, people really are acting like animals or worse online. Entire disinformation engines are roaring day and night, churning out garbage and cluttering the social consciousness. (Kojima talked about this bit, too, way back in MGS2. As if I wasn't already in danger of losing my thread through this.)

The human brain was not built to live like this. You can't wake up every morning, roll over and open your phone, and be immediately faced with a tidal wave of anger and indignity. It wasn't built to be aware of fully how horrible the world is at any moment ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME. And you will be. Because of another way that our brain works – the way we are more likely to share negative opinions. And because of the cottage industry built on farming outrage clicks, and because of constant performative activism.

It's not that I don't agree that being informed is important.

It's not that I don't agree that the causes people get riled up about are important.

They are. They absolutely are.

But we can't keep living like this. The constant, unending flood of tragedy, arguments, and hot takes. How much of the negativity we associate with online culture is the product of this feedback loop? What if the rise of doomer culture has been, if not entirely created by, has been nourished and exacerbated by our hostile attitudes toward each other?  Incels and TERFs, white supremacists, radfems, tankies and Trumpers – it seems like on every side of every issue, there are people simultaneously getting it wrong in multiple directions at once and there are more being radicalized every day. They are the toxic waste left behind by the state of discourse. And any hill is a hill worth dying on.

So what am I actually advocating? I don't know. There are a lot of fights going on right now that are important and we can't just climb into bunkers and ignore our problems hoping that Norman Reedus and his fine ass are going to leave the shit we need on our doorsteps. We need to find the strength to carry those hypothetical packages for ourselves sometimes - and hopefully, for others as well. Humans are social creatures. We need interaction and enrichment.

We need love.

So just try to remember the connections between humanity. Try to put more good stuff into the world when you can. Share more shitposts and memes. Tell your friends and family that you love them. Share good news when you hear it. Go on a weird fucking tangent about Death Stranding. Find a way to "be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes."

[kandisheek]

I finally finished all of my Kinktober prompts for 2020. If you're in the mood for porn, look no further, I got you covered ;) Featuring Stony (ST), Winteriron (BT) and Stuckony (SBT) content.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read my fics, it means the world to me and I look forward to doing this again next year. Now, on to the porn.

Anal Sex: The Bottom Line (ST) on AO3 Summary: It's still new, this whole relationship with the team, and Steve and Tony haven't really managed to spend any time alone yet. So when they finally have sex a small misunderstanding arises. Steve assumes that Tony wants to bottom, Tony assumes that Steve wants to top. They are both wrong.

Ass Worship: Pecan Spice (ST) on AO3 Summary: Steve loves the way Tony smells when he's in heat. He loves it even more when Tony lets him have a taste.

Blow Jobs: Packing Heat (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony always notices Steve Rogers, even when he's all but disappearing into the wallpaper at a party. It's time he does something about that.

Cunnilingus: But I Like The Taste (BT) on AO3 Summary: When Toni first sees James Barnes, the man who vibrates with tension at every turn, who can kill a man with his bare hands, a beast caged in a human body, she wants. And as it turns out, Barnes is very much willing to let her take him down. Especially when it involves him getting a taste.

Deepthroating: The Push You Need (ST) on AO3 Summary: Steve keeps seeing finger-shaped bruises on Tony's face. He isn't sure what it says about him that he wants to be the one to put them there.

Dom/Sub: Keep Me There (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony loves when he gets to do this, make Steve fuck him until he's begging to come, tears streaming down his face.

Edging: As You Wish (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony practically begged Steve to try one of his favorite fantasies of all time – getting edged when he's in rut. Steve – his alpha boyfriend – is a little skeptical at first, but when Tony's next rut comes he gives him exactly what he wants.

Exhibitionism: Looking Through Walls (SBT) on AO3 Summary: Steve and Bucky are having sex in the kitchen when Tony walks in, gets himself a coffee and walks right back out without seeing them. Steve comes so hard he sees stars. Later Bucky thinks up ways for them to repeat the experience.

Formal Wear: Formal Dining (BT) on AO3 Summary: Tony discovers that Bucky gets off on him acting the part of the rich asshole billionaire. It turns into a Thing™.

Glory Hole: One Hole Glory (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony hasn't seen a glory hole in years. So when he stumbles across one on a road trip with Steve he can't resist making him an offer.

Hand Jobs: A Helping Hand (BT) on AO3 Summary: On their last mission Tony had to hack into Bucky's arm with Extremis and Bucky can't get the feeling out of his head. He never would've guessed that losing control like that could turn him on so much.

Knife Play: Knife's Edge (BT) on AO3 Summary: Tony gets cornered in a back alley by the winter soldier and has an unexpected reaction to being held at knifepoint. He doesn't think it'll come up again, but after he and Bucky somehow end up in a relationship he probably should've seen it coming.

Lingerie: Blue Lace and Second Chances (SBT) on AO3 Summary: Steve loves looking pretty for Tony. It's something he was too afraid to explore back when he was with Bucky, when being different could've ruined his life. This newfound freedom is one of his favorite things about the future. Then Bucky comes back and Steve discovers that Tony is just as eager to put on pretty things and show off. Luckily Bucky is more than happy to indulge them.

Monsterfucking: My Treasure, My Dragon (ST) on AO3 Summary: It's in Steve's blood, the need to protect what's his, especially the crown jewel of his hoard. He always takes it hard when Tony gets hurt in battle. Or worse, outside of battle. Luckily Tony knows just how to make it better.

Nipple Play: The Stars are Brightly Shining (ST) on AO3 Summary: Steve wants to practice his painting skills on Tony's body and Tony is very inconveniently turned on by the whole thing. It's a challenge not to ruin Steve's hard work by coming all over it but luckily Steve finds a solution that involves a very happy Tony.

Oviposition: Orbit By Default (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony quickly realizes that the planet he landed on has a huge market for sex trafficked species. It's a blessing that he looks human enough to slip under the radar because he knows the kind of price his species gets sold for. He doesn't expect to meet another alien in the same predicament as him, but when he does they take the advice to 'stick together' a little too literally.  Or: Tony lays eggs, Steve has tentacles, and somehow they fit together perfectly.

Pet Play: Dairy Dream (ST) on AO3 Summary: "I want that come because it's mine," Tony rumbled right in Steve's ear, prompting another shiver. "You're gonna give me as much as I want. And I'm not gonna stop until that beaker is full, do you understand?"

Praise Kink: A Show of Trust (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony safewords. Steve is there for him, always.

Sex Pollen: Needs Must (ST) on AO3 Summary: An unfortunate bio-bomb accident ends with Tony, Natasha and Clint doused in a dubious chemical. They don't seem too bothered by their sudden desire to mount each other like animals. In fact, Steve is probably more bothered than any of them. He really doesn't get paid enough to deal with this.

Sex Work: Queen Bee (ST) on AO3 Summary: In a world where humanity vaguely works like a beehive Steve is chosen to be the Queen's mate. She's not quite what he expects.

Scars: I Wouldn't Change A Thing (ST) on AO3 Summary: Steve shows Tony that he doesn't care about his scars. Tony isn't convinced until he is.

Shower Sex: Pouring Up (SBT) on AO3 Summary: You'd think three people having sex in one shower would be a bad idea. (You'd probably be right. But that's not going to stop Bucky.)

Spit-roasting: A Little in the Middle (SBT) on AO3 Summary: It's highly unusual for an omega to have multiple alphas because they can easily get competitive and possessive. Still, Tony is making it work with Steve and Bucky and they couldn't be happier. But even though his alphas have been best friends forever they still have problems when it comes to sharing Tony during his heat. Luckily there's enough Tony for everyone.

Temperature Play: Closer For Warmth (ST) on AO3 Summary: Steve picked up a perfectly formed ice cube, holding it up for Tony to see. “Open your mouth.” Tony's tongue wrapped around the cube as Steve fed it to him, visibly rolling it around his cheeks. Steve lay back on the bed, spreading his legs with a smile. "Now kiss me."

Threesome: Brought High and Dropped Low (SBT) on AO3 Summary: After seventy years of separation Steve and Bucky get a little emotional when they have sex for a second first time. Tony kind of feels like he's third-wheeling until his boyfriends reassure him – very thoroughly – that he's not.

Toys: Pick Your Poison (SBT) on AO3 Summary: It doesn't take Tony long to notice that Bucky has a problem with choice. After his conditioning he apparently feels like he can't give Steve what he needs anymore, can't be the partner he deserves. So he only joins Steve and Tony on dates, staying away from anything sexual. It's frustrating for all of them. Thankfully Tony is a genius. And letting Bucky backseat-dominate Steve through Tony might just work.

Uniforms: Don't Bolt, You Know The Drill (ST) on AO3 Summary: Officer Stark has an accident in his police car and his superior won't let him repair it himself, which is just a waste of time and money, really. But as it turns out the mechanic he consults is hella cute and Tony really needs more reasons to keep seeing him, even if that involves playing dumb and destroying his own property.

Vibrator: Seaward on the Waves (ST) on AO3 Summary: Tony gets saved from drowning by a merman which, up until that point, he didn't even know existed. He is especially surprised when that merman has no compulsions about being the first of his species to ever have sex with a human. In fact, the mer seems pretty excited about it. Tony knows an opportunity when he sees one.

Voyeurism: Look, No Deal (SBT) on AO3 Summary: Steve is curious what gay sex would feel like. Bucky is convinced that no man could ever enjoy getting fucked up the ass. Tony proves him wrong.

Watersports: When It Rains It Pours (ST) on AO3 Summary: They've been stuck in traffic for a while when Steve says he really has to pee. But the next rest stop is miles away and they can't really stop in the middle of the highway. Tony didn't expect just how much watching Steve struggle to keep control of his body would turn him on.

And the bonus fic where I chose the kinks myself: Purely For Research (ST) on AO3 Summary: When Steve and Tony get kidnapped by aliens, ostensibly for scientific reasons, Tony learns something about Steve's body that even Steve didn't know was possible.

[bwprowl]

Me vs. The Mitchells vs. The Machines

The Mitchells vs. The Machines is a really cool movie. Seriously! It’s the Spider-Verse crew continuing to be at the top of their game, doing their damnedest to elevate and evolve 3D film animation in a way apart from the ongoing Disneyfied edge-sanding seen elsewhere. Several sequences, especially the final fight scene at the end, are absolutely jaw-dropping. A lot of the writing of the movie is also genuinely clever, with some cool tricks of weaving in Chekov’s Guns that you don’t even realize WERE Chekov’s Guns until they’re deployed, but then make perfect sense. And I also just have to say there’s something oddly heartening about a movie that does a lot to target Millenials in terms of nostalgia, but not so much via our shows and movies and music the way other project might go about, but specifically by tapping the internet meme culture of the early-00’s that’s so media-unique to that emergent generation. There’s some genuine heart visible in so many of the levels of how this thing was made that I can understand its touting as an instant classic and the waves of praise and popularity that have followed its release.

Unfortunately, I can’t so unilaterally praise this movie, mostly because I can NOT stop thinking about how poorly-implemented and mis-framed its central familial conflict is.

Oh yeah spoilers for this movie I guess

So I’ll need to detour at first and talk about A Goofy Movie, which isn’t much of an issue for me since I fucking love A Goofy Movie. And watching The Mitchells vs. The Machines my initial takeaway was a pleasant observation that someone had basically grafted A Goofy Movie to The World’s End, which could have made for an extremely fun time for me. A Goofy Movie, so it goes, centers on the conflict between a father and child trying to understand each other, spurred on by the father conscripting the child into an impromptu road-trip which the child initially resents but eventually leans into as a vehicle for understanding as the family members open up to each other and end with a greater appreciation for their familial bond as well as healthier, more open lines of communication. There are comical misunderstandings, dramatic misunderstandings, and escalating Wacky Adventures that keep the trip feeling suitably cinematic in scope. And as The Mitchells vs. The Machines continued on, I kept finding myself rounding back to that comparison and asking “Why am I not getting into this as much as I do A Goofy Movie?”

It turns out to be a point of motivation, actually. In A Goofy Movie, Goofy dragooning Max into the cross-country fishing trip is immediately borne out of his (however misinformed) desire to keep his son from going down a wrong, potentially delinquent or criminal path. Goofy has concerns about the lessened connection and communication with Max, sure, but that’s a symptom of his inability to communicate his actual worries about Max’s behavior to him, not the sum total of the problem he feels needs fixing. Goofy is under the impression there are genuine problems Max is going through, and while he’s got the actual particulars wrong, he’s not really that far off, since Max still IS the kind of kid to elaborately hijack a school function or make up extravagant lies to get attention from the girl he likes rather than just talking to her and asking her out like a normal human-dog-person. Goofy’s objective is firmly centered on helping Max for Max’s sake, and he’s only taking up a few weeks out of Max’s summer and causing him to miss a single party in order to do it.

I lay all that out so you can try to understand my headspace coming at critiquing The Mitchells vs. The Machines and negatively viewing its own take on a plot concept I ostensibly love by default. The problem, as said, is one of motivation. In The Mitchells, Rick’s dissatisfaction with his relationship with his daughter Katie is purely that: Dissatisfaction with their relationship. Katie herself is, by all accounts, doing spectacularly. She’s got a healthy relationship with friends and other family members, she’s gotten accepted into a prestigious film school, and her YouTube account seems to pull pretty keen numbers (With all the tech jokes in this movie it’s a wonder there’s never a riff on her shilling NordVPN or Raid Shadow Legends). The conflict between father and daughter is purely a case of them growing apart in her teen years demonstrably because Rick has no understanding of her current passions and makes no effort to do so, which leads to him having consistently questioned and doubted her ability to succeed in her field. The film frames the impromptu road-trip as his attempt to ‘fix’ the issues between them, but the only thing broken by the presentation of the story is Rick’s approach to parenting in the first place. He could easily have made Katie warm to him on the way out by replacing or paying for the laptop he broke and throwing her a subscription to her YouTube channel, but then the movie would be shorter and we wouldn’t be able to pretend the conflict was anything other than his own pursuit of self-centered actualization.

That’s the other issue, of course, the way The Mitchells vs. The Machines consistently rounds back to the point that Katie is somehow shouldering half the responsibility for the father/daughter communication breakdown. But as stated above, it really has hardly anything to do with her. Katie’s succeeding on her own terms, and the only outreach she would theoretically need to do to her dad would be to make HIM feel better, something he could do himself if he’d only actually pay attention to the cool videos she keeps trying to show him and not constantly deciding that HE knows that SHE will fail. It’s a fundamentally one-sided conflict from what we’re shown, and yet the other members of the Mitchell family continuously treat Katie like she needs to accommodate her father’s personal whims and not hurt his feelings despite the fact that he’s the one who went behind her back and canceled her flight, even forcing her to miss her first week of college (!) simply because he felt sorry for himself that they didn’t like the same things anymore. Again, Katie’s doing great, it’s Rick that decides to make his problem the entire family’s problem, and while I’m going to hesitate to refer to this behavior as out-and-out abusive, it is still absurdly selfish and pointedly poor parenting. 

The movie seems to nominally strive for balance in the conflict, not making it entirely Katie’s job to fix her dad’s hurt feelings, and indeed having a whole sequence where he realizes what a Big Jerk he’s been about not trying to understand or support her passions, and resolving to actually Make An Effort moving forward. The problem is that this is still framed as one half of the equation, as Katie supposedly gets to understand where her dad is coming from, which...makes her feel better about all the times he said she would fail and so she should rely on and appreciate him more? And the reason that’s a fundamental issue is annoying, because it means we have to talk about Rick’s Stupid Fucking Cabin.

Look, I hate doing this. I personally try very hard to keep in the mindset that stories are stories and things happen in them because they are stories. I am loathe to attempt picking apart the points of particular plot points, but the problem is that this Stupid Fucking Cabin is positioned as the heart of the humanity of the entire movie, yet it hinges on a sequence of decisions that no actual human being would ever come by. First off, do you have any idea how long it takes to BUILD a home like that, let alone as one guy apparently doing it himself? Rick spent the better part of his twenties building this big Fucking Stupid Cabin to fulfill his lifelong dream of ‘Living in the woods’, only for his wife to get pregnant once it was finished, leading to him just dropping like that? Was there no planning in this family? Was Katie an accident that Rick immediately was this endeared to? I mean, he totally seems like a pro-lifer. But then why do they need to sell the Stupid Fucking Cabin on account of a kid coming along? How were Rick and Linda planning on living out their lives there if not with resources that could support them as well as a kid or two? Rick could have just raised his kids in the woods in his Stupid Fucking Cabin and they would have stood a better chance at turning out like little duplicates of himself and his own interests like he clearly wanted. That’s to say nothing of this sequence of events being framed as a ‘failure’, despite that fact that Rick handily succeeded at what he set out to do, only to turn around and abandon the thing he succeeded at himself on seemingly the same sort of impulsive whim that leads to him dragging his whole family on a road trip because he doesn’t understand YouTube. There are motivating factors to these decisions he made that could inform the whole context of this supposedly tragic backstory, but we aren’t privy to anything resembling them, and the result is a plot point that seemingly only exists to make Katie (and the audience) feel bad for Rick in the third act of the movie.

The real answer is the ultimate assertion of this thing by the finale, that Katie should be ‘grateful’ to Rick for his ‘sacrifice’ of his dream that supposedly allowed her to be in the place she is now. Except Katie had no part in Rick’s bizarre impulsive choice to build a Stupid Fucking Cabin then sell it as soon as a kid popped out so he, I guess, could feel some sense of important familial contribution. That’s to say nothing of the point about parental figures who make grand, sweeping gestures nominally for the good of their kids, but are effectively and emotionally unavailable in the day-to-day engagements of their lives. Because unlike Goofy in A Goofy Movie, Rick isn’t actually doing what he’s doing for Katie’s sake. Her motivation for most of the movie is to move away from home and go to college, a completely normal-ass thing that children do. Any of Rick’s outreach or efforts to ‘fix’ relationships and situations are purely for the sake of his own hurt feelings, and the way Katie’s mother and brother consistently push her into going along with them only highlights the overt way this whole family’s problems are hung up on the insecurities of of this single stubborn jerk. But then, that’s my other major misgiving with The Mitchells vs. The Machines: Its expected exaltation of the default biological family as some hallowed unit for which it is a tragedy to fall into any degree of dysfunction. This is with pointed dismissal towards the idea of Found Family, seen as a distraction, an obstacle to Katie realizing who her TRUE people are, and coming around to a sense of fulfillment because she managed to massage her dad’s ego for long enough that he stopped being totally dismissive of the things that brought her joy. You see, Found Families are fun, but they aren’t REAL or SPECIAL because they already accept and appreciate you for who you are, unlike these people you’re biologically obligated to share living space with for 18+ years whom you have to forge bonds with through varying degrees of communication breakdowns and compromises in self-agency.

With all that in mind, it highlights some of the smaller issues in the movie’s setup as well. This is perhaps petty, but jeez was I annoyed with the film’s framing of The Mitchells as this ~craaaazy~ ~weeeeiiiird~ family which included such outlandish quirks as ‘Dad who doesn’t understand technology’ and ‘Young boy who really likes dinosaurs’. And the wishy-washy tone of the familial conflict is echoed in the ‘The Machines’ part of the plot, which mostly led to me sitting on edge throughout the whole film as I wondered how it was going to come down on the subject of those kids and their darn smartphones. It ultimately doesn’t go full anti-technology, which makes sense given how much of Katie’s character revolves around using the stuff, to say nothing of the predilections of the people who actually, uh, made this movie. But the most it can manage is a halfhearted “Maybe unregulated big tech bad?” which even then is undercut, mostly I assume because of the various big tech companies involved in producing and streaming this thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m overall glad it doesn’t go full "durr hburr technology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch", but a lack of any insight or ideas on that front means that the familial relationship element is the only conceptual element it really has to stand on, and I just spent over 1800 words breaking down why that fundamentally didn’t work!

It’s an aggravating situation, because lord did I want to love The Mitchells vs. The Machines. It’s gorgeous, it’s got some clever bits in the writing, and it can honestly sling a punchline like nobody’s business, there are some KILLER jokes in there. But it just became impossible all the way through the end for me to engage with the heart of the movie, its central connective conflict, on the terms it wanted me to. Now it’s admittedly possible that, perhaps like Rick Mitchell, that’s my problem. I’ve seen a lot of love for this movie from my peers, and it does make me question my own projections: I don’t want to get TOO personal on main, but I admit that it’s entirely possible that people who’ve enjoyed an actually functional fatherly relationship would better engage with the emotive connections this movie wants you to make. But even with that caveat, I was able to find my own way to resonate with the similar stakes of A Goofy Movie just thanks to the more effective way that one was framed, so if this one couldn’t hook me, maybe it was The Mitchells vs. The Machines’ fault after all.