#no this isnt about leo angst

[bluezeri]

seeing how Leo is so obviously splinters favorite in almost EVERY generation is making me so sad

[moraent-keys]

[lavena]

Since I am so incredibly desperate for tmnt fic recs, here I am supplying mine. All of these i HAVE READ AT LEAST 3 TIMES

pretty much all Mikey centric and jsyk every one I recommended I reread b4 posting this. Sorry If I repeat any, this took me over a week, college is kicking my butt and midterms are next week, kill me. If you have any you red please lmk either in comments or with rb I need the ficss guys please I am desperate.

On AO3

Train-wreck of thought by halogalopagost

A beautiful 2003 tmnt where Mikey is having trouble meditating and gets some tips from his dad and brothers, he struggles with his ADHD, he over comes it and turns out there is a lot more to this meditating than he thought. he intends to use it to his advantage.

The Legend of the Heiwa no Buki by abz_the_turtle

2012 Mikey is pure of heart and turns out that causes some problems for him, his brothers and a certain bother in blue from the future

exhaust trails through space by SpectrumWriting

2012 B team realizes they really need a break, after a fight between Leo and Donnie, B team pull a few favors and go to visit a few planets, look at some extraterrestrial inventions and get to see a festival of food. Each brother learns new things about each other and finally get to take a few deep breaths.

Surface Pressure by TheKeyBladeMaster1994

Mikey watched Encanto and something abut their family feels familiar. Honest to go so good, it is unfinished and only at 3 chapters but it is 32k words and by god if it isnt one of the best books I have read over 5 times already, featuring mikey being a helpful little brother and managing to stress his big brothers out in the proccess.

Pretend That I Never Left by redstingraven (sirimiri)

2003 Mikey gets taken into the Horizon Zero Dawn universe rather than the superpowered turtle universe in the SAINW episode. Positively glorious, he gets bashed and bruised and comes out the other end with an arrow sticking out of him.

All The Small Things by taizi @taizi

2012 Donnie gets deaged and Mikey gets to be a big brother. Positively adorable, Mikey is an enabler and the poor toaster will never be the same, plus just the right amount of angst to make me squeal.

Underdark by Nekotsuki

2003 Mikey and Leo and stuck in the sewers after a collapse, both are hurt and oh looky here it seems Leo has fainted and Mikey is panicking, it would be great if he could take a full breath to hyperventilate with.

We've been here all along by Taizi

Beautiful 2007 tmnt, Mike gets shot, worries about making Donnie abandon him, Casey says fuck that.

walk with open hands by taizi

Mikey can't get over his fathers death and knows his brothers cant get over it either, and he is going to do something about it, been if it almost costs him everything. Was originally 1 chapter, but a second chapter from Splinters POV makes everything gorgeous.

traveling so far to get there by taizi

different age turtles, 2012 universe, Mikey and Raph gets transported to a post-apocalypses time-line aptly called the after party, no one lives, but Mikey does manage to find himself a monkey companion and Raph really wishes his little brother and him would be back home. Little moment of Mikey and Donnie being twins that is positively adorable and I need more of it ASAP. Its 10k words but reads like 30 in the best way possible, like literally a must read!

Closer by Taizi

adorable human woodyangelo

Problem child by taizi

human AU, Mikey is going to give his big brothers a heart attack, he makes questionable friends, and it seems he has a lot of growing up to be doing

Things You Never Outgrow by taizi

Mikey might just have picked up some less than stellar habits from his family as a baby, and now its coming out to bite him in the butt as his brothers notice.

Know the world in yourself by taizi

Donatello is an aspiring Egyptologist, and close friends with part-time thief and sometimes-scoundrel Casey Jones, who pickpockets an ancient map of the fabled City of the Dead off a young man he stumbles across in the Casbah—a young adventurer, it turns out, and none other than the little brother Donatello hasn't seen in almost eight years

Small spaces by Taizi

After 2012 Mikey gets captured and held by the Kraang, it seems he might just have a new fear, his brothers are not happy about it.

While you're here enjoy the view by taizi

Cute little woodyangelo 2012. They have my heart

Sleepwalking by TheKeybladeMaster1994

Splinter wakes up in a cold sweat and notices that Mikey is missing, and it seems like a dark entity is after his littlest sons light, good thing its just a nightmare, right? A few nights later it seems that is not so. Only 4 chapters but has 30k words and is a positive joy to read, I hope it continues to update.

The Ultimate Weapon by TheKeybladeMaster1994

Mikey is pure of heart and just about everything knows it, including but not limited to an eldritch entity that he swears is just try to make his life hard no matter what it tells you.

Interrogation or Malpractice by Professor_Anxietree

2012 Mikey when he got captured by the triceritons, their mind reading machine doesn't do quite what was intended and it spells out pain and sufferings for the smallest of the Hamato clan. Its pretty much being over stimulated to the max, like your skin feels too tight and you can hear your nerons firing in your brain type stuff, beware if you have overstimulation.

Someone to Protect by Koalagriton

2012. Mikey's big bothers get captured by Hun and Mikey doesn't take it well, that's going to become Huns problem.

Flowers by intomyfireyoushallfall

Mikey meets Tang Shen

The shinobi's garden by taizi

buncha one shots that you have to read, you have to istg 66k words of nothing but amazing.

family sticks together, bruh by hellomyoldheart

Mikey (Bayverse) discovers online shopping and sends it to Aprils place, April gets a package addressed for Mikey O'neil

too bad, but its the life you lead by angelmichelangelo @angelmichelangelo

2k7my beloved. Mikey is having trouble at home, good thing this new cat he found, affectionately named Klunk, can help a little. You will cry, I cried, still have read it four times, but crying non the less, read the tags or it will hit you like a freight train

the dad diaries by angelmichelangelo

pepaw Ronin and the new babies, adorable and angst ( in the form of flashbacks) nuff said

a minute from home by taizi

bteam for the win, I cant get enough, baby don and mikey wonder off and survive 3 months, it changes them

I've been afraid of changing by taizi

2007 Mikey really hates his job, Donnie didn't get that, but now he does

Give up the ghost series by taizi

Mikey can see ghosts, and that means he can see his one and only dead brother too, donnie, it causes problems for eveyone around him. human AU

The Gauntlet by T33la

Mikey and Don have to take a leap of faith, good thing Mikey has complete trust in his big bros tech

Flipbook by T33la

the 2003 SAINW donnie boy planned just in case and mikey finds the first bit of the plan, talks happen

Chronicles of the Cretaceous by T33la

Mikey boy manages to befriend a T-rex because of course he does

Words to be Spoken by Mona_E_Lisa @mona-e-lisa

Soulmate Au with woodyangelo, its got angst, just not for the boys, nd holy shyt I need more

The Silver Sentry by Mona_E_Lisa

2003 Mikey gets a son, and he deffo has some problems with Splinter, and I love him more than words

2088 by Mona_E_Lisa

If you haven't read this you haven't lived and that's all I can say. What are you doing? go read it??? like asap, will change you. Its 6k and this post will still be here when you get back, get going now sho sho

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx @unorthodoxx-page

ATLA x tmnt 2018, everyone thinks they are spirits, donnie boy isn't going to correct them, and mikey ends up malnourished, but it updates this sunday so GO Go Go asap, it great

turning over stone by angelmichelangelo

2012 mikey gets angry, and kami does it suck, but good thing his big brother has experience in dealing with it.

caught in the rip tide by angelmichelangelo

Mikey gets hurt, and it might just be leos fault. 2012 based on the season 4 episode broken food.

yolk by angelmichelangelo

Mikey can't take the fighting anymore, too bad it took wrecking a midnight breakfast for his brothers to notice.

december 18th: raise a glass by angelmichelangelo

Mikey turns 21, and they really should be winding down by now, but Donnie doesn't have the heart. technically tagged with 2012 and IDW, but could totally see it with 2007 if u ignore that raph is in japan

december 15th: a size too big by angelmichelangelo

2007 Mikey was supposed to be bac an hour ago, he is gonna be the death of Donnie I swear.

the Kappas constellation by angelmichaelangelo

bunch a one shots

Honestly just anything by angelmichelangelo or taizi, but you can see that with how often they show up in this list

FF.net

Its a cycle by GhostiesandGhoulies

Adorable 2007 Mikey being hurt while doing cowabunga car and his brothers looking after him

Clogged drain by Goblin cat KC

Horror, the poor boys were not ready for this one but I adore it. Nothing more I can say than they will have nightmares and all of them will have night lights.

Hero among them by oliviasbizzaremind

2007 gang gets a call after a rough night, its for cowabunga carl, so how exactly does this lady know Mikey's name? Mikey always was a bleeding heart.

If Wishes were Fishes by Taisi (this is also on A03 I believe I just found it on ff.net fist so i figured id share that here too)

Human AU, adorable must read, like I cant stress this enough, you haven't lived without this. And as a former foster kid, damn.

Mikey's truly awful, incredibly sucky, super hella bummer of a day by Orange4Days

Exactly what the title says and you will enjoy this boys suffering and eventual comfort.

[ramons-elevator]

Fit talking about how Green has to win because Fit and maybe Bad and Pac are the only advocates for Ramon being saved made me realize something

Bad is the only single parent from Blue

Fit is the only single parent from Green (I know Roier will try to save Leo, but he isnt her parent)

Foolish and Phil are the only single parents from Red (but Phil has two kids)

Like Fit said, Pomme and Richas are locked in because theres a parent of them on each team

If its true that only a few eggs will survive, whoever is on the winning team can only really choose Richas, Pomme, their egg, and maybe someone else’s.

Like thats so fucked. Especially for Red team because they will probably have to kill off one of their own eggs

God this is gonna be full of angst at the end

[tiffthemarvelnerd]

Fitzsimmons entire relationship recap to showcase just how crazy their storyline was.

Okay so, beginning season one, these two, Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons, have been friend for forever, both really smart scientists and they join a team of agents, because they work for shield. So they are doing their thing for a while slaying the day with these missions, when suddenly, omg simmons is sick, she touched some guy and if she does not do anything about it she is going to explode and take their entire plane, because their base is a plane, with her. Fitz and her are in the lab trying to find a cure, but it isnt working so she smashes him in the head and locks him in the lab, from the lab he can see the hanger door opening as she stands there and jumps out so the explosion would not take the plane with her. So Fitz is understandably freaking out, he is like omg my best friend and secret crush just jumped out of a plane what the fuck do I do, that is when he notices, the antidote did work, but now Simmons has already jumped. So he grabs a backpack parachute thing and is about to go save her when Ward shows up and saves her instead. 

She lives and they go some more episodes, when oh my god shield has been taken over by hydra and their friend ward is one of them. They go to escape but end up in the containment pod, when Ward opens the hanger doors and chucks them into the ocean. Down there they only have a little bit of oxegyn, so they have a cute convo about what death will be like, because at this point the two of them have accepted, like we are going to die here. That is when they suddenly come up with a plan to break the pod mirror and use the oxegyn mask to get enough air to reach the surface. But here is the twist! They only have one mask! She does not want to go without him but he keeps persisting she should take it, so she says “Why would you do this to me you are my best friend in the world!” and he replies “Yeah and you are more than that Jemma.” Basically confessing his love for her. Now she does not even have time to process this new information as he presses the button opening the door and water is rushes in. She takes the oxegyn mask and drags him up, they get found my a helicopter. Season 1 ends.

Now season 2, Jemma is gone, she is undercover at hydra, but because Fitz was in a coma for 9 days after the incident and he suffered serious brain damage, he keeps seeing a version of her kind of as his concious almost. Anyways, she returns and it is just angst between them. She still thinks of him as a friend, and he blames her for just leaving him when he really needed her. She will be running the lab at their new base, and he says he will go work somewhere else. Then in the next mission it turns out they still are a really good team just like before, angst is gone a bit. Fitz keeps getting better and eventually has to go on a mission with the rest to go fight bad guys, just as he is about to leave, Jemma looks at my other favorite ship from the show, huntingbird, and realises “Wait maybe I do love him”. So she goes to visit him as he is packing up his stuff and she is like “Hey Fitz, we never really spoke about what you sai to me at the bottom of the ocean.” Fitz is all suprised because she never braught this up before and that is also a bit of a bad moment to do this, so he says “You want to do this now?” And follows that up with saying that there is nothing to discuss. He is about to walk out as she grabs his hand and says “Maybe there is.” He is absolutaly stunned, not prepared for this at all as he looks at her, but then immediatly gets called to the plane to leave. Leaving Jemma crying alone in the locker room. He returns, asks her out to dinner as they are standing by this rock that can turn into liquid, he leans on it trying to be cool, she says yes but as he leans he accidentaly opened the door of the liquid rock, so she walks across the room to put some stuff away, and gets gobbled up by the rock, the rock turns solid again and the season 2 credits roll.

Now season 3, it has been six months and we first see Fitz in morocco, he has tracked down every lead there is on what that rock could have possibly done to Simmons, and in the meantime has gotten really cool, quite the transformation. So he is in this bad place and does a carchase and it truely is a 180 of the fitz we saw before. After doing so much to get this scroll that is supposed to tell him what happened to Simmons, the scroll is just one hebrew word, death. So he loses it and busts open where the rock is being held and screams at it to ‘do something’ with truely spinechilling acting from the amazing Iain de Caestecker. He gets pulled away, but as he does he notices, sand. Sand which predates the world by a bilion years. So he is like ‘omg a portal’. So they contact this guy who brings them to this castle, which has a special room to activate the portal. They do one time and shoot a lightflare through. Then the machine breaks, they manage to do it again, this time wanting to send a probe lense through, but Fitz is like ‘nah fuck that’ and jumpes through himself. On the other side he is screaming for Jemma and manages to find her and grab her hand, every tense moment. Then the rock explodes, because it did I guess. And for a moment it look like Fitz came back alone as he lies on the pile of small rocks, but no under there is Simmons too and they are together again. Simmons has to adjust to normal life, he takes her to a restaurant and she cries when she sees wine, but we do not hear what happens to her, we only see that she wants to open up the portal again. Fitz is understandably confused by this, but then she finally tells him what happened.

Jemma was alone on that planet for 4,722 hours, or around 6 months. The first months were hard recording things on her phone for Fitz and constantly talking to ‘him’. Then she falls thorugh a hole and meets another human. His name is Will, he got sacrificed in a ritual to the demonic entity also living on that planet they are both trying to avoid, and now they are the only two stuck there. She does calculations to preedict where the portal is going to open, using the last of her phones battery, they try to send a message in a bottle, but it fails and she loses all hope of ever getting back. That is when she kisses Will and they get together. Now she calculates some things to see the sunrise, because the sun usually does not appear on this planet, so they go sit romantically together, when she sees a lightflare. The one Fitz send. So she goes there with Will, but sees the demonic entity and is like “Will it is one of yours”. Will knows it is the demonic entity and sends her to Fitz to go fight it. He does not come with her through the portal and that is why she wants to open it back up again.

During research they are alone in a lab and arguing. When Fitz just cannot take it anymore, he presses her up against a desk and kisses her, she kisses him back. He says “We are cursed”, as she just before they kissed admitted that she does love Will too, but Fitz literally dove through a hole in the universe for her and so it is all a bit complicated. Now Hydra also wants to open up the portal to free the entity, so they do and whilst she is kept on earth. Fitz goes through to get Will, but it is not actually Will, because Will died saving Jemma. They all make it back, and Jemma is obviously dissapointed and cries in his arms. A couple episodes go by, they hold hands in the ashes because she asked him if they could take things slow. But then when they are researching sitting on the floor leaning against one of their beds, she lays her head on his shoulder and slowly moves so they kiss again. He realises after a bit that she asked to take things slow so pulls away, but she assures him that it is okay, he teases her for a bit and they kiss again. 

Next episode they go be a powercouple trying to find a scientist together, whilst he is nervous about sleeping with her because if things go wrong then he thinks they cannot ever go back to being just friends. But they do sleep together at the end of this episode so all is well and he was nervous but got through it. They remain a very cute couple going into season 4.

Season 4 starts and everything has changed, new director and Jemma is basically running the place now. She has daily lie detector tests and so when he helps a mad scientist build a crazy robot, he cannot tell her at first but finally does. The start of this season also mentiones that they are looking to live somewhere together, which is just the absolute cutest thing. Thir robot he helped created reads the darkhold, and this is where things just get wild. Because when this robot reads the darkhold it makes an evil alternate reality where everybodys biggest regret is erased and it just ends up this absolute hellscape. She (robot) traps everybody in this reality, ereases their memories from what actually reality is, so they just believe this is the truth, and she replaces their real versions of them with decoy robots. Fitzsimmons are the only two left they believe, until they pass a door with a detector of one of these decoys. One of them is a decoy. But they both do not know who it is. 

Simmons believes she is not the decoy and says that.

“It’s not me Jemma”

“Well it’s one of us!”

Heartbreaking moment truely. So she stabs Fitz in the wrist, which would have killed him if he was not the decoy, she gets shocked because there is blood coming out, but then turns out she did kill the decoy Fitz. Now she goes into this world, retaining her memories, but turns out, Fitz his biggest regret was not staying with his father, which has now made him the hydra overlord, dating madame hydra, this realitys version of the robot he created. He does not remember Jemma and as they are trying to get out of this world he shoots her in the kneecap. “And you mean nothing to me.” But they do get back. The thing about the framework is that they retain that alternate version of them, with all the memories, like having lived a completely different life. He has struggled with schizofrenia before and now even more so, hearing he doctor in all he does. He cries, Jemma cries and the entire team goes for pancakes.

That is when everybody but Fitz gets teleported to the future and the season 4 credits roll.

Now Fitz gets arrested, because the team was still fugetives and going out for pancakes was perhaps not the smartest thing they could have done. He spends six months in prison, gets rescued and freezes himself to also end up in the future. Remember this because it will be very important. Now in the future the earth has been split apart and everybody lives in space ruled by aliens. Simmons has now been made a slave by one of these said aliens, and her hearing was turned of when he finally got to her and proposed to her. Fitz asks to buy Jemma, but the master does not agree and at the end of the episode they escape, she can hear again and this time proposes to him, to which he awnsers “absolutaly”. They get married in a beautiful forest surrounded by all their friends and it is truelly magical. They struggle some more after that though, because the powers of one of their friends got turned of, but they need to be turned back on. Now Fitz is still scizofrenic and his alternate universe bad guy self operates on one of their best friend, ending with him in a cell but this time put in there by his friend. It is simulatiously a weird guy they met in space and accidentally came with them confesses to Jemma that he is in fact their grandson, which she combats by, no joke, throwing up. 

Fitz can go on missions again because since Jemma thought since she has not had a daughet yet and the future cannot be changed and their grandson, Deke, exists, she gets him out by playing a trick on their other guard friend, basically acting like she drunk poison, without warning Fitz first. But they got him out so it was all fine. Now there is a hefty season finally fight, were the building where Fitz is in gets crushed, he gets impaled by a plate. He thinks just his legs are broken but then he goes ahead and dies. Season 5 ends.

Season 6, Jemma is certain of the fact that Fitz is still out there, because he froze himself the frozen version of him must still be out there. Sis cut herself some depression bangs and end up accidentally high in a club where he is too, because his freezing thingie broke and is looking for money to replace it, together with his not quite android friend, a chronicom called Enoch. So they are both in that club, but just as they see oneanother and reunite, they get stolen by evil chronicoms and put in another mind place room. The room is basically controlled by there minds and it is here they have their reuinion. They manage to get out by imagening their friends to come help them and powercouple their way to the finally, in which they invent timetravel to sace all their friends. Season 6 is half the episodes of previous seasons, so this is the end of that. 

Season 7, they are timetravelling non stop, exept Fitz is away somewhere, Jemma does not even know where because she has something in her brain prohibiting her from accessing the memories. They timetravel a lot and when her memory inhibitor thing gets removed, she does not remember anything. Fitz? Who is Fitz? But then suddenly, she remembers everything, even them taking five years away before they actually timetravelled back. And it turns out they had a kid! They names her Alya and moved away for a bit before going back in. Fitz takes everybody back to the original timeline, and th next time we see them it has been a year. A year of living in the cottage she deemed ‘so lovely’ when she was a little girl and just caring for Alya with Fitz. He really thrives in being a dad and we see them having a picknick in the garden whilst Fitz is playing with Alya. The two of them finally got their happily ever after. It makes me cry everytime.

[othellodonryan]

Saddest rottmnt headcanons?

OUGH OK I CAN TALK ABOUT RAPH its not an hc but this was the first sad rise thing to come to mind! i think a bit after the movie, like... a few years, i think raph leaves. not for good! but he takes some time to figure out who he is outside of his family. he takes maybe a month or two on his own, learning what he likes and dislikes when hes not centering himself around his bros. like i think raph would really like cleaning/busy work if he didnt have to wrestle the others about it every single time. i think leo would be generally understanding, and try and act like he's definitely not affected but he is. donnie is frustrated at this sudden major change that raph did NOT warn him about and also just. misses having his big brother (i hc that dons the older twin) and mikey is just devastated, especially since he feels like he and raph havent been as close the last few years this absolutely isnt what you asked for but its the most angst i think about with the boys, really!

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

Its 10:45pm time to yap about ANOTHER au (because I cannot be stopped)

So remember that untitled atla x tmnt 2012 au I came up with thats inspired by A Tale Of Spirits?

Well...it has a title now :)

"Before The Summer's End." (Look A Tale Of Spirits is already a really good title but I can't USE it because its already claimed and I've been wanting to yap about this au for so long and couldn't come up with an idea so SUE ME)

So basic premise, the turtles (including my own tmnt 2012 versions of Venus and Jennika because they are my beloveds and its my au I can do whatever I want, plus those two are not in fics often) all get transported to the alta world and separated from each other. (Again like A Tale Of Spirits but that fic has rooted itself into my brain and this au isnt gonna be a carbon copy so its cool)

So key differences from A Tale Of Spirits

Its tmnt 2012 (my beloveds) post season 4 (the turtles are all 20)

It includes Venus and Jennika

It begins at the end of season 1 episode 3 "The Southern Air Temple" unlike A Tale Of Spirits which starts at the beginning of season 2

So already pretty different

And for once Leo ISNT gonna be the main victim of my angst hammer. Its gonna be DONNIE (I have plans for him >:3)

So who exactly ends up with who?

Venus will be the first turtle introduced, landing in the Southern Air Temple and will meet Aang, Katara and Sokka straight away (Venus and Jennika will definitely get the most screentime since I am basically inserting characters that were never in tmnt 2012 and making them fit in with my favorite turtles because the two girlies definitely SHOULD'VE been there Im just saying)

Jennika will land on Kyoshi Island and will join the Gaang soon after they meet. (Girlie gonna have a field day)

Leo meanwhile will land in the ocean close to Prince Zuko's ship, close enough to warrant investigation. (Ok I know that Raph, Jennika, maybe even Mikey would've been better fits for Zuko but I didnt want to take the obvious route plus Zuko becomes "The Blue Spirit" wielding twin swords and later on calls himself "Lee" the joke was right there and I had to take it)

Raph lands in an Earth Kingdom town, very close to the estate of the Beifong family. (Yeah I loved the Raph Toph dynamic in A Tale Of Spirits, bite me)

Donnie ends up in the Northern Air Temple (he aint gonna STAY there because...I have plans for him. He's gonna learn the lesson Leo has already learned. Being the author's favorite is NOT a good thing :3. Donnie's gonna go through it that's all I'll say)

And Mikey is gonna land right in front of Princess Azula, in the heart of Fire Nation territory. (Purely because I am very tired of Mikey being treated as a "fragile weak innocent baby" by fanon. NO MIKEY CAN BE JUST AS DANGEROUS AS AZULA. Especially if he gets angry)

Its gonna be very fun, especially on multiple occasions that the kids need adult the turtles will realize that THEY are the adults

Hehehehe

("We need an adult...I am the adult")

Almost forgot to post the age order of the turtles oh my god I am tired

Ok so the age order from oldest to youngest is

Leo, Raph, Venus, Donnie, Jennika, Mikey

[leotello]

YES HELLO I AM A TRANSFEM LEO ENTHUSIAST<3 plleeeeaassee imagine karai doing leo's makeup for the first time.... especially if she's still in her questioning/denail phase AA and she looks in the mirror and just. emotions. ough.

also the teenage transgender angst. myyyyyyyy god🙏 leo being extra irritable and upset, snapping more often, maybe even neglecting responsibilities, and no one knows why. leo doesnt know either.

egg leo asking april looootttssss of questions about being a girl. isnt it nicer? does it feel better? do you feel lighter for being a girl? and april is like. Um. well ive never thought about it like that. leo being like wait, do you never think about what it would be like to be a boy? doesnt everyone fantasize about being the opposite sex?

just🙏 i love her sm

YES YES YES TRANSFEM LEO <3

oh my god karai doing her makeup. yes. i feel like leo isn't much of a makeup girl most of the time, but it still does something, it makes her see a side of her she didn't realize she wanted to pursue.

just, karai helping her realize she's a girl in general. they have a lot of long talks at night on rooftops, mostly leo rambling in circles, talking herself in and out of IDing as trans, while karai listens and nods and occasionally tells her point-blank when she's being stupid or way too hard on herself.

i like to think that she wants to keep the name leonardo; she feels very attached to it, both because it's a nice name and because master splinter gave it to her and she values that greatly; and also because, while yes technically its a boy's name and you don't really meet any girls named leonardo, you technically... also don't meet any boys named leonardo either? so she kind of wants to keep it. but that makes her feel like she's not "girly enough." karai is the one to tell her "it's just a name. i could change my name to greg right now and it wouldn't make me a guy." and leo's like oh. i never thought of it that way. huh.

and yes, teenage leo hitting puberty and suddenly being so irritable and uncomfortable in her own skin, as her dysphoria intensifies. her voice deepens and she can't say why she hates it. her plastron dips inwards and she can't explain why she doesn't want to look at it. her skin darkens and she wishes it would go back to how it was before. (these are turtle sexual dimorphism btw, im just a biology nerd)

i feel like april gives leo a lot of words to describe her experience, lots of labels and info on communities (online, of course, she's still a turtle), while karai is less label-savvy but better at getting to the heart of the issue and asking leo the hard questions about how she really feels.

[hopefully-nightly-doodles]

idk why I feel like rambling here a lot recently but I kinda miss it. I cant use twitter to shout into the void anymore so this has kinda replaced that lol But I was just thinking about how I make OCs. All of my OCs have lil bits and pieces of me as their core trait or like center and then I just build on that. So its easier for me to write them in an organic way cuz I can connect to pretty much all of them. Like Lux is basically me when I was younger and was just goin through life. They have a lot of my old tendencies and anxieties as a teen but like none of the friends that helped me feel comfortable so- Thats why they are just more colder than me. And Leo was suppose to be the person I wanted to become, but like what you want isnt always what you need you know? So Leo has a lot of the positive traits that I admire in someone, she kind, confident, a good leader and fun to be around. But she also has my deeper more current insecurities with wanting to belong and her tendency to disregard herself for the sake of others. I just remember when I first was making her character and really wishing to be more like Leo. I mean even now I want to be more like her but like Im listening to her playlist right now (I haven't listened to it in a long time) and I went like. "oh wow why is this like so my current mood rn-" and then immediately followed by me going "Oh god am I becomin like her but only the angst parts-"

[pup-pee]

This is so random but I saw ur tags in the rb of an old birdflash fanart and ur energy just resonated with me and I was like I must follow this person... Anyways hello:D ur art style is so lovely I'm so glad I found this blog I am fucking insane over Wally West but also batfam and THE BARRY & WALLY FATHER SON DYNAMIC IS THE ONLY THING EVERRGGRHRHTJFJKZKSKSJFKK

Also I am staring at the tmnt in ur bio, I saw a comment recently that said that Leo & Raph are basically dick and Jason and omg I have never been the same since like WTF why are they so right....

omgomg HELLO??? u liking my tags actually means sm wtf skgjkajkgkh BUT HI YES HELLO HEY!!! TYSM 4 LIKING MY ART AS WELL OMG??? bcb cb c bc bc u points @ u u like wally i have a silly hc i drew a little bit ago

THIS GOT RLLY LONG SO IM SRRY LSKJFKSL

i will give it 2 u bc y not skjgkgALSO INCLUDES A BIT OF WALLY + BARRY WHICH IS Y I THINK HT OF IT OK

BASICALLY ITS A HC ABOUT WALLY WEARING GLASSES THEN EVENTUALLY WEARING BRACES/HEADGEAR BC LISTEN PLS HEAR ME OUT

glasses bc i just think so theres rlly no other reason just always had glasses as a kid

IGNORE THR TRASH ITS JUST HOW I DO MY SKETCHBOOKS ANYWAYS AKHFK

SO GLASSES RIGHT??! THEN HE BCAME A SPEEDSTER likekeeee preteen-ish? if im not wrong// BUT LIKE getting accelerated,,,, everything ig @ that age would b CRAZYY so i think his teeth got kinda vry fucked up((im so nice 2 the blorbos,,,i swear,,,,((dont belive me)) SO HE HAD 2 GET BRACES & HEADGEAR

he doesnt wear contacts no matter how roy or dick tries 2 convince him he doesnt want 2 use their money

he will keep taping his silly blocky glasses until they literally turn 2 ash

just take the whole sketch book page whateverrrr r rr

BUT YEAH THATS OT OTS SILLY & MEANS NOTHING BUT EVERYTHING 2 ME barrys there just listening 2 him talk bc no1 used 2 listen 2 him infodump about much b4 idk

i feel the need 2 show wally sketches but i rlly dont have that much((that isnt au related))

i think this 1 is silly anywhoo there was tmnt in this & ill brb

LITERALLY THEMM i was NKT reasy 2 draw fhem 2day omg skfjksjf they looks so ass i swear i can draw a pretty dick

jason tho??…,,,,,, uhm uhm srry pat pats

also srry u only rlly((like RLLY)) know tmnt2012 so akhfkfk

GIVE JASON A SPIKE RN((talked w/madi & jason actually needs a bearded dragon)) <- putting this hear so if i ever reread this ill know

ANYWAYS RED BLUE SIBLINGS SO TRUE ITS ACTUALLY THEM JSUT

im remembering some of the more,,,dramamtic moments of 2012 tmnt & like holy hell yeah

i gotta bring out the tmnt au again its literally mostly abiut dimentsion x bc angst but holymoly

holy moly ahhahabf my humoresuck i kinda 4got what i was writing tbh so oopsies

hey guys? what do we think of s2 -> s3? ((leo in a coma + canine)) ????? how we feelingvvvbbb jsi!!?!? im literally talking 2 myself & thid point ermmm

ANYWAYS HI I CANT BELEIVE U UR SO SILLY U READ THE TAGS AKFJFKV seey 4 my rambling :3

/e wave 2 u!!!!!

[chierry]

which sexuality each enstars character has? well its easy...

wataru likes men but he would still fall in love with eichi and tomoya if they were girls. tomoya is bisexual but wouldnt use the label. eichi is just gay but he would treat his wife nicely if he got married for political reasons even if he couldnt love her properly. tori actually doesnt care too much about sex and romance but he would enjoy his life more if he got with eichi but if he got a wife he would be happy actually too. hajime is asexual and aromantic but feels deeply jealous of tomoya to the point people think its romantic but it isnt. its just extremely intense but its not romantic love. nazuna is straight. mitsuru is pan but isnt and will never actively look for romance. yuzuru likes men but would kiss women. mayoi actively avoids labeling his own sexuality. tatsumi doesnt think in labels either and he is fine with whatever. aira thinks his situation is very complicated and adores microlabels despite being more or less fine with everything. hiiro likes women and men and would use bisexual if introduced to the label. aira does this job btw. rinne sexuality is "love wins <3" and he has zero angst about it. niki thought he was gay but later discovered he is also into girls (brief crush on anzu) but he still calls himself gay. himeru likes bears, regardless of the bear gender. kohaku has a gay thing going on but he doesnt care enough to label it either. madara is straight with exceptions. rei is gay. kaoru is bisexual. adonis would be bisexual if he cared enough to label his sexuality but he is fine with how he is right now and frankly he wont have angst regarding his partners gender in the future so he will never care too much about it. keito likes men and women but he would be weird about having a wife. arashi is bisexual but will mostly end up dating women later in life. its not intentional its just how things work out in the end. izumi is demi. leo does not care. ritsu DEEPLY doesnt care. tsukasa is gay and weird about it. mao is straight with ritsu as his exception. makoto is straight but wouldnt refuse to kiss a guy. hokuto is gay. subaru is bisexual but wont actively look for romance like ever. chiaki is deeply, deeply bisexual. tetora is bisexual but prefers girls. midori has not thought and will never think about his sexuality but somehow kinda expects to just get a wife at some point in the future. shinobu doesnt care enough about this side of his life honestly. kanata is gay with exceptions but doesnt care to label himself. ibara is bisexual. hiyori is just happy to be alive. jun likes girls and boys but pretends that his attraction to boys is a surprise. mika is gay and normal about it. shu is bisexual. yuuta is bisexual. hinata is gay but wouldnt mind being married to a woman. koga loves dudes but thinks girls are cool. he isnt sure if he would date one tho. if he did he would be fine however. souma doesnt care at all. kuro is pansexual. aoba is asexual but is fine with any gender. natsume is straight with many exceptions but doesnt really identify with either bisexual or pansexual.

finally, anzu is bisexual. gatekeeper is bisexual also, but he also wont ever get into a relationship.

[kill0mtr]

thinking so much about the elmntl world i made. the only cishet couple i had about until like.... 5 years ago was leo (fire) and clara (water)... well. theyre now bi4bi and t4t. but. like, in the first "season", as in me trying to make the arcs as polished as possible with a 3-season structure, theyre both assumed cis. and then leo grabs a Very Powerful Gem and gets taken over by a very powerful fire spirit (or maybe its a spirit that amplifies his power?) and uh. it changes him.

basically leo figures out shes transfem/bigender (he/she) with a fire spirit in his body and clara (she/they/he) figures out theyre nonbinary/transmasc through yknow. normal means. he's figuring himself out while leo battles with the fact that the fire spirit in the gem she stuck into her body was feminine. so that may have effected his gender. (it didnt, it just made her realize a bit sooner than later, but yknow. gender angst is fun when its on an oc <3)

so theyre biT4biT... bi4bi + t4t ?? theyre lesbians but also gay but also a stright-passing couple. theyre both so in love with the other that gender is a bonus rather than a requirement

does this make sense???? i feel like it doesnt but that may be my tired brain hating any idea it comes across. again, this isnt set in stone but. yknow.

[silvanable]

Idk if hcs are open and ignore me if it isnt!! Can i request an angsty ikevamp prompt? How would suitors react to an MC he likes who likes another suitor? Both suitor and MC's love can be unrequited, and MC could come to suitor to talk about her unrequited love. If you want to make it super angsty, MC could be suitor's first actual romantic interest in a very long time. Plz feel free to choose any suitor, but my favs are leo/comte. I love your writings :) thanks so much!

i know you said headcanons but i saw this as a perfect opportunity to slap down an angst filled fic because i’m not doing so hot and i can’t process emotions unless it’s written format. anyways, i hope you don’t mind!

i figured it was about time i got back to my roots, bringing the unholy angst back that started this blog— 

SO HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND WHY NOT WRECK CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH A LITTLE ANGST, EH?

and everyone can cry with me because we all abso—fucking—lutely know that comte would sideline himself and his feelings for the better of others.

↪  GUIDELINES

✒ tags : unrequited love, comte x mc, mentioned mc x leonardo, angsty af, gn!reader mostly but love languages don’t have fucking gn terms

✒ warnings : n/a

✒ word count : 1740

It seemed this was some sort of punishment. It had to be, perhaps to make up for all the things he had done in his youth. Fitting, he would agree, but it did not lessen the pain.

Here you are, sitting in the garden with him.

A wistful sigh falls from your lips.

The things he would do to comfort you. To assure you that you were deserving of all admiration and love.

He would steal your breath with amorous kisses, only daring to relent when neither of you could last a moment longer without air. He would whisper every loving and reassuring word he could muster from his tongue. He would hold you close and keep you in his embrace until you understood how much he adored you.

He would do all these things because he loved you like any other before. You were intoxicating. The way you smiled brought warmth to his chest. The sound of your laughter was a melody he could never tire of. The scent of you was more intoxicating than any vintage wine that ever grazed his lips.

Without you, he was empty and hollow. You had brought the light back into his life. You had offered a hand to him and showed him a gentleness he believed he was undeserving of.

And perhaps he still was because your heart belonged to another.

Comte forced a small smile.

“Ma cherie,” He called your attention. Those beautiful eyes flickered away from the cup of tea in your hands and up to him. His heart still had not gotten used to such a sweet gaze upon him, yet now it was broken with sorrow.

“You said you wanted my advice on something?”

You pursed your lips in response. It seemed you were second-guessing yourself on the need to talk. Comte knew the expression you made all too well and offered a small, encouraging nod.

Another sigh escaped you, far heavier than the one before. “There’s… Someone I like and the problem is, well, they don’t seem to feel the same way.”

What a bitter irony of life.

“See,” You shifted, sitting up and twisted your hands in the hem of your sleeves, “It’s been a long time since I felt something for someone and… I don’t know— maybe I’m just over-analyzing it because they were nice.”

He understood, Comte understood entirely what you meant. After all, he was looking at the very person who had set a spark to his heart’s fire and he would never say a thing.

“Are you sure this mysterious suitor is just unaware of your affections?” He took a sip from the teacup in his hands. He tried to play it off calmly, to hold himself together.

Nothing was allowed to slip through his carefully crafted facade. It took decades to build such a gentlemanly persona and he would not allow himself to fall in shambles, back onto his old ways. No, he had to be a better man.

No matter how much this drove a knife into his chest.

You shrugged, defeated with a gesture of your hand. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because we’re just too different—personal—and don’t even get me started on time-traveling culturally!” An exasperated huff left you, somewhere between a broken laugh and squashed sob.

Comte said your name softly, “Surely there are things you have similar, things that drew you to this person,” He set the tea aside on the table between you both, “Have you confronted them about your feelings?”

As if he was one to talk about such a thing, with you just across from him, yet he hid a secret from you.

A growl of frustration erupted from your throat. “That’s the thing! I’ve tried so many times to find a good moment but any time I start, he somehow always manages to run away!” By now you were on your feet, angrily pacing through the gazebo.

“I mean, did I do something wrong? Is it because he’s a vampire and I’m not?” You vented, too caught in the whirlwind of your growing anger to notice the softness the pureblood gazed at you with.

He understood the fear of that commitment. You were mortal after all, he was not. No doubt the resident—who Comte had a growing suspicion of who, yet would not dare entertain the thought, not yet—feared their long life and falling for someone who would, eventually, pass away and leave them a broken heart.

He would love you nonetheless. If you were his, he would dare to turn you if you let him, so that he could have you to himself longer.

Selfish, yes, but if he had been fortunate enough to have your heart he would never want to let it go.

“Or is it because of the door? I don’t have to go back—hell! I’ve thought more than once these past few weeks about not going back!” You glared heatedly at the mansion. A gaze that was so fierce that the flames of it practically glowed in your eyes.

“But when I mention I might suddenly Leonardo—” Comte visibly flinched, you did not notice, “—is insisting that I go the moment I’m able when all I’ve been trying to tell him is I want to stay for him!”

How could you be so cruel and yet so gentle at the same time?

Comte had only wished you had never said his name, his closest friend. He could feel his heart twist, the ugly head of jealousy reared like a viper, but he forced it down.

He was a gentleman, one of the utmost kind.

Comte’s smile strained but to you, it was sympathetic. “You must understand, ma cherie, as pureblood vampires things are different for us.”

“Yes and?” You turned to Comte, expression twisted and asking to explain how any of that mattered. How did being different like that matter so much when you were so enamored with him that you were willing to give up everything you knew just to be with him.

“Does he not want me and just doesn’t want to tell me?” Your voice welled with emotion suddenly, “Does he think it’s sparing my feelings instead of telling me straight?” Tears gathered in your eyes.

It was painful to see you becoming so unraveled. At that moment, it took all his strength to remain poised and still, to not reach over and take you into his arms and kiss away all of your tears. But he could not be the jealous man, it was not his place, because he was not your lover. He was nothing but your host and he had to remain the courteous host for you. 

 And now of all times, he damned himself for taking that position, because it meant he would never have you.

“Perhaps he believes that not telling you will spare you of forcing your decision, of stealing the life you have ahead of you.” And to protect you from the heartache I feel now.

You sank back into your seat. A disheartened sigh fell from your lips as you put your head in your hands. “What should I do?” You lifted your head to look at Comte.

He could not resist your gaze, the way your beautiful eyes plead with him. He wanted to see that stunning smile of yours again, the one that brightened his days, the one he cherished in his dreams.

It was decided at that moment, he would see your smile again. Even if it meant he had to break his heart to have you happy. To see you happy was all he wanted.

“Let me speak with Leonardo,” He prayed you had not heard the jealousy hidden in his chest in his voice, “I’m sure I can find what is troubling my friend and spare you from any further pain.” He leaned forward, taking your hand in his.

If he could freeze time he would have, to engrave this moment in space and never let it pass. The warmth of your hand in his. How the light returned to your face with newfound hope. The sparkle in your eyes. Everything, he wanted to remember everything about you at this moment forever and preserve it.

Alas, time was fleeting, and moved on despite his desperate wishes. So he had to keep the memory, tucked away somewhere close to his heart, never to leave him even with the wear of time.

“You would?” The eager hopefulness in your voice was heart-wrenching.

“Of course, ma cherie,” He patted your hand before he reluctantly withdrew his touch, “This is an issue you have with one of my residents and I would not be a decent host to let these problems fester when they affect you so.”

You were absolutely beaming, a bright smile that could rival the sun’s own warmth and light. It was something he wished he could have basked in for eternity.

“Thank you so much, Comte,” You jumped from your seat, throwing your arms around him.

The action was so sudden it had taken him by surprise and yet before he could process and return the gesture, you drew away again.

“Thank you!” You repeated, gathering up the dishes from your tea chat, “I should go help Sebastian with dinner.” Your tone was practically ecstatic as you moved back towards the path to the mansion.

All the while Comte only smiled at you. Yet as your figure grew further and further away, fading into the gardens lush greenery, his smile began to gradually fall.

That facade of a caring, gentlemanly host shattered the moment you were gone. Emotions erupted from the tight fist that had held them at bay. Comte pressed a hand to his mouth, restraining the sounds of sorrow that threatened to burst from him. Amber eyes welled with unshed tears.

Emotions rushed over him like a tidal wave. There was no moment to breathe, not a chance to catch himself. No, these feelings grabbed hold of him and dragged him under. He would drown in them and nothing could save him now.

Comte swallowed hard and his eyes fluttered close.

The sky grew darker as time passed him by in silence.

He took a shaky breath and steadied himself, dropping his hand into his lap, as he regained his composure.

“For you,” His voice betrayed the emotions under the calm face, “For you, ma cherie, and your smile.”

[mywritingonlyfans]

i know a hefty about alcohol addictions from my close friend who suffered from one (they are okay now, if u were worried). and last night as i went under the covers i literally went "what if dami was an alcoholic before xfactor" and then i scolded myself and went to bed

but obviously i cant just forget anything angst related, can i now.

(obvious tw for alcohol abuse)

the thought was (if i were to present it as a prompt): so, dami is making all these jokes about being an alcoholic during xfactor, but what if they werent jokes? underage drinking is more than possible in italy, so why would it be impossible?

the production for obvious reasons doesnt let drinking in the house. its something that, at first, affected damiano just like it would any other teen. bit crappy, but he would manage.

before auditions, and before in general, damiano had a past with drinking. he was always the one who drank the most, who started drinking before the others, and the one who seemed to enjoy drinking the most. at some point he was even day-drinking, appearing in school clearly not sober. whenever asked he always replied it was stress, basically the same way he tends to reply to his nicotine addiction

so, obviously, he starts experiencing withdrawal. it isnt the first time he has had symptoms, but it was the first time he wasnt able to drink to soothe the cravings. the band wasnt too aware of the problem, the only person who technically knew was leo. he just made jokes about it at the start, trying to hide the withdrawal behind insomnia, which he didnt really have, just used to hide the problem.

the craving got more and more intense over the days, and damiano tried to fulfil them with smoking and working out excessively. not the greatest combination, nor did it work too well with the cravings, but it soothed them enough so he could make it another week.

a stressful live has damiano begging the production to let them out for drinks, the craving more intense than ever now, not having smoked in a while either. they just shut him down, threatening alcohol testing whenever the band went out if he didnt behave. damiani shuts up about it, not wanting to get anyone in trouble

he ignores all questions about it, opting to continue to hide behind stress and a lack of sleep. he reaches the point where nothing will make the craving go down and he is getting aggresive. not specifically towards anyone, he just seems to snap more, sudenly he isnt too fond of descalating situations, and it seems to all break after getting in a fight with the band. he apologises, admitting the stress has gotten to him, and informs he is going out for a walk

obviously it isnt just a walk, and the opportunity was handed clear to him. in favour of not being so stupid and mad all the time, he goes inside a store that seemed to sell everything, deciding he is in desparate need of getting wine drunk before going back to the house. and he does just that, the hazy feeling fogging up his brain all too welcome at that point. he makes sure to save some for the days it gets worse, hiding it in a non-transparent bottle from soda. he does take a proper walk, to mostly sober up before going to the house

the rest of the contest goes by without any relapses, as damiano jokingly called them if only he wasnt in denial. he makes it to the final, perfectly devoid of any alcohol or nicotine in his system. it was a night to impress, and they did just that. even if they didnt win, it wasnt something they sulked about. they went along with the whol "goodbye journey", being obviously sad about losing, but not to a big degree. if anything, damiano was relieved he was able to live freely again

the night they are officially out, the band goes for drinks. dami savours the feeling of being drunk way too much, and noone is sober enough to point out how many shots he has actually taken. anyone who did notice blamed it on the post competition stress, or to "make up for the times he couldnt drink". the others are nowhere near as drunk as dami, but for being 17 (thomas excluded, sorry babe no underage drinking 4 u) they were tipsy enough they wouldnt bother with the older.

the others go home, and at the same time victoria wakes up, damiano is back from roaming around clubs. he reeks if alcohol and tobacco, not to mention the bruises around his neck, or the mess on his hair. vic is fully sobered up, a hangover nonexistent as she forces damiano to shower (ultimately helping him wash up since he could barely stand) and then putting him to bed, a glass if water and painkillers on his bedside table for when he woke up.

when he does, the sickness is overwhelming. the rest of that day he tries to sober up, swearing he was never to drink that much again, and trying to remember what the hell he did after vic and ethan left.

after that, damiano cant seem to pass a day without alcohol in his system. every time he doesnt have anything to drink, he feels as if deprived of nutrients. he favours drinks over spending the day with the band, and thats when ethan reaches the realisation that damiano is on his way to being an alcoholic.

he confronts him in private, and damiano admits to not knowing what to do, not wanting to go into any sort of rehab centre. luckily enough, ethan is willing to do research on it, and since it was still considered an eaely addiction, since damiano technically could manage a day or two without drinks, it was just a matter of limiting his intake.

knowinf from xfactor that trying to cut it down instantly wouldnt work, so he and ethan, with the help of victoria later on, look for ways to help limit his intake gradually. it isnt a perfect attempt, there are a lot of tears and painful relapses. days where ethan finds damiano crashed on his bed, surrounded by several bottles of beers and maybe sometimes whiskey/vodka. days where vic would wake up from harsh knocks from damiano who wasnt able to resist going to a nightclub and felt incredibly guilty after, wanting to admit to vic that he didnt make it through the week.

it was tiring, and ethan and vic were struggling with motivating a near depressed damiano to keep going, to not be demotivated by relapses cause they were still progress, especially since they happened less and less. it was messy, and it took too long, but by the time the docufilm was made he was clean. after almost a year, he had managed to stop drinking. he was able to enjoy a casual night drink with friends without needing to get shitfaced.

now I’m thinking about reader having multiples fights with Dami because of that and but even tho trying to help him at all costs because they know he needs her and Dami also knows he needs them to get better,,, I hate you sofi!!

[multifandom-miracle]

My thoughts on the End of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I was never really interested in TMNT, period. I didn’t like the animation, I wasn’t interested in the storylines, it seemed a bit too serious and only like something that Hardcore fans would be interested in. The characters all looked and sounded the same, I didn’t see much depth to them, and so on.

Well then Rise came along. Granted, I only started watching because of my new obsession with Ben Schwartz after watching the Sonic movie and being a fan of the new Ducktales for a while. But then I began to fall in love with this version. It intrigued me that the turtles were all different designs and species, I LOVED the Voice cast, and the animation was very well done. At first the storylines bored me, I thought it was mostly just comedy and slice of life.

But then I began to see the brothers learn from each other and their father. I saw them be emotional and vulnerable and care about each other. I saw them struggle with admitting the need for help. I saw them fight and make up, have arguments but still work as a team. I saw...what I wanted for myself, for my life. A family who stuck together, encouraged each other and made mistakes with each other. And in the most recent episodes with Splinter’s mom leaving, and Raph admitting the pressure of being the leader, the big brother who everyone turns to for help, the struggle of not being able to have a perfect plan to keep his family safe and overcome The Shredder. That hit hard.

This show has meant so much to me, helped me get through the struggles of dealing with the current state of the world, and given me a lot of hope. I think so much more could come out of this, wonderful stories and lessons and art and passion and creativity. If this really is it, the absolute final episodes, well may I say well done Rise Crew and @nickelodeon

You’ve done a cartoon finatic proud.

OKAY NOW I’M GONNA RANT

It’s RAPH’S TURN TO BE LEADER, HE’S THE OLDEST, LEO HAD HIS TURN.

I REALLY HOPE THE MOVIE ISNT JUST RAPH VS LEO, PLEASE give me more FAMILY ANGST AND LOVE.

[apologies-in-advance]

scene bucket #5(?)

marion: why do we never get percy with feeling

feelings*

like

kristin: ?

marion: this kid has problems

and 

we never talk about them at all canonically

kristin: yeah, idk

like there are (that i know of) two instances of ptsd

in the entire series

which, okay, kids book, but still

he's like seventeen (and so are the rest of them)

they've seen who knows how many deaths. like...

marion: isn't it a YA book tho?

kristin: yeah

but

i think it was targeted to like 13/14?

idk...

marion: harry potter has death plots and people bleeding out and george being rightfully upset about fred

but like

pjo is just yes we have problems in the subtext

kristin: that is one thing i missed.

that i want.

(which probably makes me horrible, idk)

marion: no i kind of want it too

kristin: xD

are we bad people?

marion: no

i think we just want someone to finally be sad

kristin: yeah

marion: bc these kids are like

always happy

bar leo who canonically is depressed but they NEVER SAY IT

kristin: right

like, for example, i feel like with all those deaths (especially, for example, like Bianca and Beckendorf) and with Percys fatal flaw

he'd really beat himself up

like, more so than in the books.

and like Hazel literally was in the underworld.

and even though she was in the fields of asphodel. i feel like that would mess someone up.

marion: hazel faced discrimination 

uhM

kristin: eurgh

i've always wanted to explore that, tbh

like, i have this thing that when she finally comes back, she asks Nico where a bathroom is, and he shows her

and she's like "that's not funny"

because there's different colored people in  there, too

marion: oh

that's

that's kind of depressing

kristin: oof.

sorry.

idk, its just how i always imagined it going down.

marion: no no you're right

im just

kind of sad

that that would happen

kristin: yeah, ik

marion: to cinnamon roll hazel

kristin: (literally one of my favorite characters)

marion: *sob* i cant deal with this

:'(

this genuinely makes me want to cry

i dont-

how????

kristin: you imagine how hard it would be for her to have to adjust to like having a brother

that was

eurgh

sorru

*sorry

( i don't know if the term white is offensive or not)

marion: nah 

kristin: okay, okay just checking

marion: poor cinnamon roll

kristin: D:

marion: i want to hug her and never let go

kristin: sammee

marion: ndfowendonwefon hazel is best

kristin: ikr

marion: hazel deserves best

kristin: yes

like she had to watch her mom die

in front of her

and she thought it was her fault

marion: hazel has angst, percy has angst, leo has angst

like her fatal flaw is guILT

angst budddiees

marion: :[

the angst trio

they cry themselves to sleep and pretend they're ok!

kristin: stOP

that's soo sad.

marion: everyone tries and subsequently fails to get them to talk about their problems

kristin: yeah, ik.

and they're just like, i'm fine. 

Stop! Get some help!

marion: we're fine *sobbing*

kristin: through their tears

like, the rest of the seven can hear them crying through the thin walls of the Argo but nobody says anything

marion: *whispers* trauma? never heard of her

kristin: whose she?

honestly, though, like *sighs* it's so sad

marion: hahahaha...

kristin: haha.

*sighs*

like, the fates or whatever terrible being is in charge, just throw these kids and a satyr

on a flying boat

to destroy the earth

in order to save it

marion: and only one of them is mostly ok

actually coach hedge seems ok

kristin: yeah

maybe a little wack-o

but...

otherwise, fine

marion: so 2 out of 8

kristin: (unless we're counting nico)

marion: 2/9

kristin: Who, i think doesn't get as much appreciation as he should

reyna? 

marion: 2/10

kristin: ooh, yes

oh, gods were making it worse

marion: 1/5

uhm that's pretty small

thalia?

2/11

kristin: sTOP i feel nico should get more recognition, though. like, he went 

through tartarus.

alone.

marion: i think he and will are a focus in toa

but idk

kristin: (informercial voice Only 2 out of 11 demigods per year are mostly okay)

yeah idk either

marion: hey coach hedge isnt a demigod

kristin: CaUsE i HaVenT rEaD iT

oh no.

oops

...

marion: only 1/10 demigods are estimated to be mostly ok

one

out of

kristin: -that's-depressing-

marion: ten

kristin: one

out

of

ten

marion: low statistics

kristin: the weight of the worlds

*words

(like the weight of the sky on Percy and Annabeths shoulders)

marion: imagine the demigods making an 'into to chb!' video

kristin: uh oh

marion: and they're like so what's so great about being a demigod? and they all have fake cheery voices and blah

percy's just nothing. nothing is good about being a demigod. have fun dying before 18.

i literally barely made it.

they're like

can i quit?

no. no you can't

kristin: can i be fired?

marion: no.

please?

dang it

uhm

kristin: but you can die

:D

have fun!

marion: how is that bETTTER

kristin: *whispers* it might be

nO WHAT HAVE I DONE

...

marion: i dont like the brutal honesty in this conversation

kristin: :/

i don't either, honestly.

*hA honestly*

*brutal honesty?*

*no? okay i'm sorry*

marion: *sob*

kristin: no, i'm fine.

they're all fin

marion: just fine.

kristin: loOK what i found

 " The cab sped west. Every gust of wind through Death Valley sounded like a spirit of the dead. Every time the brakes hissed on an eighteen-wheeler, it reminded me of Echidna’s reptilian voice."

tlt

marion: i-

my dude

get some help

perCY

kristin: he doesn't need it

'member?

marion: YES HE DOES

HE FRIGGIN NEEDS THERAPY

kristin: " She made one more attempt to speak, but the sound was gone. Her image melted away. If it was my mother, I had lost her again. I felt like drowning myself. The only problem: I was immune to drowning."

" The last thing I remembered was sinking in a burning sea, knowing that Tyson was gone forever, and wishing I were able to drown"

marion: IJBUWFDWBJVH GCWDBIUWS

he wants

to

DrOWN

himself

and he would

kristin: " Thing is, as I was choking just now, I kept thinking: this is payback for Akhlys. The Fates are letting me die the same way I tried to kill that goddess. And … honestly, a part of me felt I deserved it. That’s why I didn’t try to control the giant’s poison and move it away from me. That probably sounds crazy"

that was blood of olympus!

marion: NO NO NO NO NO NO NONO NONONONO

kristin: yEAH 

he was talking to Jason

after they were underwater or whatever

marion: and jason did nothing????

bRO

kristin: he said

marion: help hIM

kristin: Jason thought back to Ithaca, when he was despairing over the visit from his mom’s spirit. ‘No. I think I get it.’   

THEN

they act like nothing happened

   Percy studied his face. When Jason didn’t say any more, Percy changed the subject.   

marion: :[

jASON

kristin: >:{

marion: jASON ASNd PERCY

kristin: D:

marion: iowahdnbxcunejwqzhs  UGGYUSKNM

kristin: wonder how many more examples there are....

marion: oh no

my stars

kristin: ik

this is depressing   

marion: wow

kristin: what about Frank though?

or PIPER

like he dad got kidnapped

*her

and then like she finally saved him

and he was like you're a hero

and then she had to ERase his Memory

marion: oof

true

kristin: like, it's obviously not as bad as the others

but still.

marion: yeah

kristin: *exhales*

DD:

im sorry

one more

" " She shook her head. ‘I’m not Caesar. After finding Jason’s note in Diocletian’s Palace, tracking you down was easy. I only did what I thought was necessary.’ Percy couldn’t help smiling. ‘Reyna, you’re too modest. Flying halfway across the world by yourself to answer Annabeth’s plea, because you knew it was our best chance for peace? That’s pretty freaking heroic.’ Reyna shrugged. ‘Says the demigod who fell into Tartarus and found his way back.’ ‘He had help,’ Annabeth said. ‘Oh, obviously,’ Reyna said. ‘Without you, I doubt Percy could find his way out of a paper bag.’ ‘True,’ Annabeth agreed. ‘Hey!’ Percy complained. The others started laughing, but Percy didn’t mind. It felt good to see them smile. Heck, just being in the mortal world felt good, breathing un-poisonous air, enjoying actual sunshine on his back. Suddenly he thought of Bob. Tell the sun and stars hello for me. Percy’s smile melted. Bob and Damasen had sacrificed their lives so that Percy and Annabeth could sit here now, enjoying the sunlight and laughing with their friends. It wasn’t fair. ""

marion: i-

sang it

dang it

kristin: you sang it

marion: a nice wholesome moment turned into angst

kristin: ikr

DID YOU

SEE

THAT THEORY

about Zoe and bob?

marion: ?no

kristin: HOLD ON

this is game changing

this is what i'm talking about

Bob's a titan.

He's related to Atlas, yes?

You know who else is related to Atlas? Zoe.

Bob=related to Zoe

You know what her last words were? She said 'I can see the stars again, my lady.' before Artemis turned her into a constellation.

Constellation=Stars

'Tell the stars hello'=Tell my cousin/sister/relative hello

marion: *SOB*

i cant do this

kristin: In Greek mythology, Iapetus was a Titan, the son of Uranus and Gaia and father of Atlas

marion: pjo and hoo have too much angst for my pathetic heart

kristin: s

a 

m

e

so... bob is zoe's grandfather

marion: aw........

kristin: balling like a baby

marion: *SOBSBsbhsbejdbfeid*

kristin: YES

marion: you cant do this to me

kristin: i'm sorry

marion: i cant do this

this makes me so depressed

osinfdejnd

how

kristin: i have no idea

marion: bob and zoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

kristin: D':

yo, imagine how Annabeth and Percy would react if they figured it out

marion: no nonOnONOnONONoNOn

kristin: I think they'd break

at least percy

marion: percy is sad

kristin: eurgh

marion: it's too much

kristin: you know what the worst part is?

marion: what

kristin: his friends don't even know it

they probably think he's actually fien

*fine

marion: i-

what...

hold up

no

nopr

no

no

no

no

kristin: they just think he's this upbeat optimistic sarcastic person

makes people laugh because it's a tension releaser

marion: ,'(

kristin: eurgh

marion: get some help, already

kristin: you know what they should have?

a camp therapist. like some Apollo camper, or smth

marion: something

kristin: yeah

for those who would be WILLING

*cough* not percy *cough

he'd be like I'm fiiine

marion: i dont need therapy

kristin: ha

yeah

marion: yup

kristin: Perce, you sure?

yep

ha

marion: uhm

yeah just gonna

go now...

kristin: *shrugs* okay. whatever you say

*walks away*

marion: *sob* yeah im fine

kristin: they don't even turn around (cus they can't hear him [cause it was internal])

marion: *internal breakdown*

kristin: (meanwhile, on the outside) *grins at whatever dumb joke Jason told him*

*or Leo

marion: :')

kristin: just

fine

whAT ARE WE DOING

marion: poor perce

kristin: Dx

marion: percy is the type to get shot in the stomach and tell them to go look at annbeth's papercut

kristin: but, yeah srsly

Exhibit A

   "‘You still claim him then?’ Zeus asked menacingly. ‘You claim this child whom you sired against our sacred oath?’ ‘I have admitted my wrongdoing,’ Poseidon said. ‘Now I would hear him speak.’ Wrongdoing. A lump welled up in my throat. Was that all I was? A wrongdoing? The result of a god’s mistake? "

Exhibit B

" ‘Your mother is a queen among women,’ Poseidon said wistfully. ‘I had not met such a mortal woman in a thousand years. Still… I am sorry you were born, child. I have brought you a hero’s fate, and a hero’s fate is never happy. It is never anything but tragic.’ I tried not to feel hurt. Here was my own dad, telling me he was sorry I’d been born. ‘I don’t mind, Father.’ ‘Not yet, perhaps,’ he said. ‘Not yet. But it was an unforgivable mistake on my part.’"

marion: ah and then the mr.brunner incident

kristin: Oh! yes