#nobody is rewarded for their actual work in any regard

[sleepy-shutin]

anyways, daily reminder that if you post syscourse in the main DID/OSDD community tags, you're annoying and entitled. nobody cares about your opinion on ~teh endos~ we're here to look for coping mechanisms, support, advice and healing. not bullshit discourse that's been going on for decades that nobody has agreed to a conclusion on.

your ~hot take~ is not new, it's not saying anything that hasn't been said before, and it's not saying it any more eloquently than anyone before you. your opinion on people who do not have DID/OSDD is not so important that you need to blast it to the entire DID/OSDD community.

syscourse is largely an online discourse. you are not going to be affected by syscourse in real life.

if you think your opinion on endos is so important you need to blast it to the entire DID/OSDD community, and concern so much of your existence as a person with DID/OSDD with a group of people who do not have your disorder and are largely not claiming to have your disorder, it might be time to do these newfangled things called "going outside and touching grass", or "reading a book", or even simply just "not concerning yourself with discourses that don't matter much outside of the internet".

i've known about my DID for just over 5 years now, and the best thing i ever did in regards to that is not investing a lot of emotional energy into syscourse because it does not fucking matter. spending time learning about trauma & dissociation and connecting to people with the same experiences as me has been far more rewarding than the time-killer of picking arguments on the internet.

p.s. if you're a harry potter fan in 2023, your opinion should already be automatically invalid in the first place because of the damage that jowling kowling rowling has done to the trans and jewish communities, considering she takes support for her work as support for her views explicitly. if you're a HP fan in 2023, i'm going to automatically assume you're a terf/radfem and antisemite. there will be no ifs, ands or buts about it, lol.

p.p.s. if you make a discourse post and crosstag it with the main community tags and block everyone that disagrees with you, it really shows that you only care about creating an echochamber and not starting an actual community discussion about these subjects, and does show that you made the post out of emotion more than anything else, because you're not wiling to listen to literally anyone who even remotely disagrees with or criticizes you, despite blasting your opinion into the eyeballs of as many people as you could think of. that's incredibly immature.

[possessesnightshift]

my lord seeing all the posts talking about not voting for joe biden like...

im not even gonna push my personal opinion. i just want people to take the time to earnestly reflect about what they're deciding to do

as in. just think "what is the impact of my decision?" think about what would come about if you voted for biden, or against biden, or third party, or (likely the most popular other option ppl want to pursue) didn't vote AT ALL.

then reflect on the actual issues that matter enough to sway your vote. think about palestine. think about queer liberation & disability advocacy. think about the writer's strike and the actors strike and unionizing. think about the environment. the fucking economy. basically anything that's defined the political landscape of the 2020s.

and then circle back to "what is the point of making this specific choice?" in regards to voting in the 2024 election. if you want to make any of these issues better, ask yourself if those changes will be easier to make under a trump administration or a biden administration. would trump be better for palestine than biden? the environment? the economy? even if he's worse than biden in a lot of areas, is there one special issue that could push him over the edge? what are you trying to accomplish with this vote (or lackthereof)?

the reason i felt compelled to lay it all out in this specific manner is quite simple. i want to emphasize something important.

i feel like a lot of people planning to protest their vote for Joe Biden see themselves as possessing a moral high ground with respect to our corrupt political system. by refusing to participate and play the game, you're avoiding complicity in a machine designed to grind people up and spit out their bodies for the sake of profit. i get it. i know exactly why you don't want to take part in something so horrible.

but you DO.

even if you don't want to. you are a part of this system.

withholding a vote isn't exempting you from anything. you are still making a decision. a decision that impacts your life, the lives of those around you, and of course the lives of people overseas caught up in our country's colonialist bullshit

i promise you nobody is keeping score. you won't get extra woke points in heaven because you didn't vote for someone who does bad things. say hypothetically we lived in a country like australia with compulsory voting, and protesting your vote was literally not an option. what would people say then? would the anti-genocide crowd encourage you to vote for trump? vote third party? do these choices make sense??

because at the end of the day, we have 2 choices. we can continue sucking ass. or we can bring in someone else to suck ass EVEN HARDER.

i'm not sure what i can say beyond this much. i get how easy it is to turn off your brain and rail against anyone challenging an opinion that, from your perspective, feels beyond the realm of criticism. these people do not have bad intentions. our brains can't think in terms of stupid political games. we see a man encouraging a genocide running for re-election, and the LAST thing we want to do is reward him.

but the system is illogical by design. (see electoral college for more info.) you can't make it make sense. these people in power aren't gonna buckle to your pressure based on morality or shame because they have none. they know exactly what the fuck is going on. they know what they're doing, and they're doing it on purpose.

if republicans can accept that holding your nose and playing the bs voting game can make the system work in their favor, why the fuck can't college educated socialists come to the same conclusion?

whatever you decide to do come november, just be honest about why you're doing it. whether it's about gaza or trans people or even just the prices of groceries always increasing, it doesn't matter. i know what change i want to see in the world, and i'm doing what i can to help move the needle in that direction.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Valve "fan-content" and "theories" are paid advertisements

It's called viral marketing, and nobody does it better online than the company that grew big because of it: Valve. Steam was an inevitability, and Valve was just the first to it, I'm not talking about Steam. I'm talking about Every game that Valve produced before steam gained traction.

Thanks to those three games: Half-Life, Counter-Strike, and Team Fortress. Early Valve became an internet phenomenon. Cashing in on this early success and pre-internet-meme culture, it's easy to see why Valve had the runaway success it did.

These were the times of the wild wild web. Back when only trolls and nerds lived in virtual space. Because of this, nearly any digital thing was assimilated to the early internet, online, and nerd and geek culture.

The group was mostly internet adopters and lonely "male" teens, who grabbed onto these things as a way to form their own identity, most of which because theirs didn't exist offline.

Nerds and geeks and hackers and homeless teens fueled this "netscape".

The forgotten Gen X'rs. Forgotten even by their own generation, but not by the millennials who found safe haven from school bullies, and unstable home lives.

Valve continued with the generation of meme content, it's not clear if this was a calculated thing or a fun thing by the early devs. It's possible there's a little bit of both going on. Because what valve knew; was that memes generate cash. And so every game they have ever made is covered in rich-memey goodness.

What makes it even more interesting, is how those memes sound hilarious out of context, but simultaneously, can be deep and thought provoking in-context.

"The cake is a lie" meme. Referencing the cake from Portal that was supposedly Chell's "Reward" for clearing the puzzles. The cake is a lie, because that's what Chell's mother put on Chell's application when she was a kid during the "bring your daughter to work day" which ended in tragedy.

And also, because there's no real food in Arpeture Labs anymore. And even if there was, GlaDOS (Caroline) wouldn't test the food on her only daughter.

Simultaneously, every single "Game Theory" you can find online is just a rehash of some articles that Valve themselves put out in the past. Unlike Nintendo, who had a vague understanding of how their lore pieced together, and see it as a more "fluid thing". Valves timeline was meticulously crafted by Valve themselves.

It's not fluid, it is decidedly rigid in that it hasn't changed, nor has most of the lore since the first Half-Life game came out.

I know this, because I read them.

And every few months you'll see a redditor start to try to analyze the subject and then... Just kinda stop at the information in those articles, instead of actually playing one of the games and thinking about it.

And every few months more an internet contributor to some gaming website recompiles one of those articles about the Half-Life/Portal connection or the "Full Half-Life" timeline.

Nobody gets cancelled for plagiarism in regards to these articles as well. Unlike most everything else you see on social media.

This leaves two possibilities: either Valve assassinates anybody who gets too close. Or they're the ones behind it all.

Yes. Even Skibidi; A what-if scenario featuring Toilet Trolls against the Surveillance State, and the simulated war that comes from it.

[voluptuarian]

I'm so fucking tired... not physically (for once) but just like Of everything. I feel like nothing I do accomplishes anything, like I'm going nowhere, like I'm constantly on the edge of some disaster, and like I have no control over any facet of my life.

I realized in the middle of my stats class, which is always a miserable experience, as I was being faced with algebra yet again, that I have been grappling helplessly and inescapably with math for probably longer than most my classmates have been alive. It's supposed to end someday, and yet here I am, 35 and almost graduated and here's fucking algebra once again.

I'm desperate for money, so I try and get more/alternative work, but either it's dependent on others and so will never happen, or I literally do not have time to do it in. I try and sell things, and nobody will take them. Even when I try to buy things I can't find them, or afford them, or people selling them just ignore me, for no reason, which is why I still don't have a goddamn sofa. I can't even rely on people close to me to help me do the most basic things I ask them to.

College has made the passage of time feel like the end of the fucking world anyway, but now that I have one term's length in which to accomplish everything I've ever needed to do in my life every day that passes feels like a death sentence. Like getting to the halfway point of February fills me with absolute dread. I'm working so hard to get ahead on as much as I can in all my classes so I can avoid a backlog with finals, because if I have to take an incomplete on anything that will put my graduation in jeopardy, so I live like a madwoman now. I still have an incomplete from last term that I need to finish, but I'm too busy with my other courses to deal with it now, so I'll have to spend my spring break doing that. Never mind I need to get my name changed beforehand, and figure out what I'm even going to do after graduation-- I'll be out of money forever then, so I have to either have an internship set up, or be going straight into graduate school (not that I have any idea what I'm doing in that regard) or have something else set up. And any of those things requires some other person to respond to me, answer my questions, choose or approve me, so they're all obviously doomed, because I'm a like a non-person passing through life-- I already know any situation whatsoever which requires the approval or involvement of anyone but myself (which is like 90% of life) is doomed from the start, because even if they're not actively working against me out of some innate hostility that I inspire in half the people I interact with, they just feel no need to do anything or make any effort or even respond because they just don't actually register that I exist I guess. How am I supposed to be even educationally or professionally successful in a situation like that, let alone like ever have friends or a significant other or any kind of rewarding relationship whatsoever? (Not that I would ever have the time to spend on those lol)

Meanwhile I have to choose between buying things I need for my still-mostly-unmoved-into apartment, or spend my widow's mite donating to some new crisis that none of the powers that be care to do anything about. And I do this hopelessly-- I keep seeing posts that are like "don't lose hope for Palestine!" "I know Palestine will be free in my lifetime!" I don't believe that; I don't have hope. Palestine hasn't been free in my lifetime, it hasn't been free in my parent's lifetime, why would I think anything would change now? Some of my earliest memories are hearing about suicide bombings on busses in the 90s-- I've always known this situation would never end well, and I don't have any hope for it now when it's gotten worse-- I give what I can and do what I can and try to make an impact for a few individuals for awhile, but I don't have any hope for the future. And meanwhile, anything I do for one cause takes away from what I can do for any other cause elsewhere. If I give to Palestine today, I can't give to Ukraine tomorrow, if I give to Ukraine today I can't donate to a go fund me in America tomorrow...

(Let's not even get into the stress of the election, and what the fuck I'm going to do if somehow Biden doesn't win... like I will need to be out of the country ASAP then and don't even know I'll manage that...)

And on top of all this I live with a landlord who's remodeling our entire building while we still live in it, BECAUSE WHY WOULD I EVER HAVE ONE NICE THING so waking up at 8 am to insanely loud construction sounds and endlessly yelling and cussing workers is just a normal part of my life now. I will come home after a night shift and hope and pray that I can sleep for 4 hours before something wakes me up. I have to put signs up on my door every day with "do not disturb" or "on zoom please be quiet" or "no entry before 10 am" just to try and have a normal life, and I will STILL get people pounding on my door trying to get in regardless. I had to email my landlord just today going "no, having your incapable workers try to fix the terrible paint job they already spent four days inconveniencing me with on Monday morning at 8 am will not work for me, since I will have just come home from a night shift-- they have to wait till at least the afternoon to barge into my house and intentionally bring the value of my apartment down." I have no autonomy, no control, no normalcy, no routine, and no privacy in my own home, even when I live alone. That's more than I deserve to have apparently.

Everything in my life is just pointless, and meaningless, and completely out of my control no matter what I do, and I spend every hour of the day in dread of one thing or another. I feel like somebody turned on a laugh track the day I was born and it won't turn off until I die. And it's always been like this! It's always going to be like this! The situations change but the outcome is always the same and nothing I do ever solves it and I'm so FUCKING SICK OF IT

[simplynashu]

I keep trying to think of a name for what this sorrow is. It's so multifaceted and and deeply rooted, labyrinthine in the way it tangles into a knotted ball of melancholy, where one thought leads into another and another and another. Until you're trapped within, trying to find your way out. I look in every direction, check every corner, and I find myself right back at the center tired, confused, alone. There is so much to this misery to parse. There is so much of me steeped in sadness and I don't know what it is to find my happy place or my center. I can only hope that taking it step-by-step will get me one step further. Go one place at a time, instead of everywhere at once. So...

I have no family.

When I heard these words at my older sisters funeral I was actually surprised she ever admitted it. But that's a testament to it, isn't it? I heard these words not from her but from a relative she thought she could find family in. A relative whose plan, in response, was to try and force the family between me and her without any regard to why a brother and sister aren't brother and sister. A relative, who, like other relatives view a person not as a person but as who they are to them. A son, a son. A daughter, a daughter. An aunt, an aunt. And the orphaned children of a dead cousin, niece or daughter? Well, that dead cousin was something to them, but those children are just a burden on an aunt/sister who as already burdened by kids before. Nevermind the common denominator. Never mind the stories the woman told herself, where the only time anybody is any good is when they're doing something for her. Never mind that this sister and aunt has only ever seen the rest of you as the reason she lives a life she loathes. Nevermind that she has never even liked her own kids because to her they're just the reason she can't be happy, and to her the grandkids she pulled into her life is an extension of that.

"I have no family." Said a cousin of a dead sister at her funeral. And in the next breath she said, "But you do have a family." And I wonder if the asterisk at the end of that sounded as loud to her as it does to me.

Nobody wants it to be that they've failed to do something they've convinced themselves they're good at. For some of us that means we don't even try, for others it's running away from our failings, rather than turning to face and fix. This "family" that I apparently have would like to pretend that, since I'm not dead and dying with poisons clogging my arteries that I'm willing to play along and pretend I was ever living when I was with them. This family wants to play the game of, "Now we're paying attention." As if my life doesn't number 30 years of being by myself and alone. They want a reward without the work. They want peace of mind without the effort? And I am meant to ignore the woe inside of me for them? For their sake? For the same space where I have never fit in the first place? There is no peace to that. No escape from the labyrinth. It boils down to what that grandmother always fell back on.

"Do this for me!"

So that you may pretend peace while I continue in turmoil?

If I had family. This wouldn't be a question, but I don't and never did.

[janisurstemostrespectedtrade]

Janis Urste  Simple Tips To Educate You About Forex In The Following Article

Janis Urste Qualified tips provider. Like most avenues you will take in life, you will need to become educated about the Foreign Exchange Market before you can actually master it. Nobody lucks into riches when playing the forex market, and people who try to treat the market as a gambling opportunity go broke in exponentially higher percentages than any casino. Follow the advice in this article and learn how to correctly approach forex.

Although you may aspire to big riches, you should never use Forex as a last resort. If you have to pawn your jewelry or take out a loan to get into Forex, you are getting in at the wrong time. Inevitably, people who use Forex in an attempt to make big money in a hurry ultimately fail. It takes patience and understanding to correctly use the system.

The best way to learn Forex is by practicing, so pick a broker that offers a "practice" account. These accounts allow you to play the markets without risking any of your own money, and can save you from major losses from beginner's errors when you start out. Practice accounts give you a chance to analyze your assumptions about Forex trading.

Before you carry out any trade, it is important to remember to figure out the risk/reward ratio. Try to estimate the amount that you will gain, and the amount that you could lose. By looking at the risk/reward ratio, it will give you a much clearer picture regarding wheteher that trade is the best for you.

Study your prior trades, both the good and the bad. The best way to learn what works is to study your successes and failures in the market. Look for patterns in your trades to see what strategies work best for you. Try keeping a diary of your trades and mark down what the results are.

On the Forex market, once you get an understanding of your trading, it will be tempting to plow your first profits back into additional trades. Resist this temptation! Remember that you are on the market to make money, after all. Take advantage of solid profits when they become available. Letting your money ride is a recipe for heartbreak.

Janis Urste Professional tips provider. When forex trading, you need to trust your instincts and ultimately, make your own decision. It's wise to get advice from critics and knowledgeable people, but ultimately the decision should be up to you. You don't want other people making major trading decisions with your money.

Beginning forex traders often wonder when it is wise to move from a demo account to a real account. A good rule of thumb is to move to a micro account after two or three months, and a regular account six months after that to give you plenty of time to learn without suffering large losses.

When one is using forex they should be aware of how stable or volatile the market they are investing in is expected to be. By having this knowledge one can more effectively time when they sell their investment. It will also reduce the chances of ones investment dropping unexpectedly something that nobody wants.

To become a successful trader, you should follow the main trends of the market. Even if your strategy commands you to go against the market, this will cause you stress and you are taking the chance of losing your investments. Choose a secure investment that is trusted by most traders.

A lot of business opportunities will require that you take on a partner to share the financial load, but forex is not one of these opportunities. You do not want to have a business partner in forex, unless we're speaking about someone who is strictly investing money. Two account users is a really terrible idea. You can lose your money in an instant.

Chinese Yen and Asian and African currencies are catching up with the Eurozone currencies and the USD. You will need to keep a close eye on all currencies these days to make the most out of the time you spend trading. Things are not like they used to be, the market is much wider now.

A fake out on the market can cause you to jump onto a trade that you think is going to be profitable and it ends up being just the opposite. These moves have cost many traders a good bit of money over the years, and once you get to recognize the signs you should be able to recognize them for what they are.

Janis Urste Top service provider. Make sure you have access to the internet at all times of the day and night so that you do not miss any opportunities. You can receive alerts on a laptop or a cell phone for instance: this way you will know when you have to buy or sell and react quickly.

Make sure that you know your goals when it comes to trading. Do you want to become wealthy or are you looking to just make some extra fun money? How much time can you spend figuring out the ins and outs of trading? Figure all this out ahead of time and you will most definitely, go a long way.

Choose a simple Forex system that meshes well with your personality and your thought processes. Some people do well with a scalping system. Others do well with a swing system. Study all the systems out there and choose the one that really resonates with you and seems as if you will be able to keep up with it without a lot of stress and confusion.

Avoid taking risks when you don't have to. Set a limit to your losses as well as a limit to your gains. Establish a specific number of trades per day as a goal and don't do more or less than that. For example, it's a good idea to set your loss limit at two-percent and to limit your number of trades to three daily. This will help you prevent great losses and errors caused by hasty judgment.

Janis Urste Best service provider. Never gamble with your money. Even though it does not take a lot of money to open a forex account, you still never want to lose your investment due to being misinformed. If you can follow the advice laid out there, you should be well on your way to making money in the forex marketplace.

[selenafreshfriendkidoaf]

4848 Meaning

Heavenly messenger Number 4848 is a message from your Holy messengers that you will make wanted progress due to your persistent effort and assurance.

I really do continue to see numerous Holy messenger Numbers routinely that incorporate this number 4848. Furthermore, I have explored about it and listened cautiously to my instinct and internal insight while figuring out number 4848's mystery messages.

4848 Meaning

You have never surrendered such a long time and with truth and trustworthiness, doing all the difficult work without thinking back. Hence, your Heavenly messengers and Rose Experts are satisfied with you and ready to help and support you to show your actual heart wants.

You realize that nothing is significant other than being consistent with oneself and not a viable alternative for really buckling down. You could have abilities and gifts, everyone does, except you really want to invest tremendous amounts of energy to clean them and make them sparkle.

Heavenly messengers like 4848 are displayed to you by your Holy messengers since they can't come to you straightforwardly and inform you concerning the things you want to move along. Since the Ruler and the General Energies bar them.

Consequently they take the assistance of these numbers to let you know something significant in regards to your life. So they are showing these encoded numbers in a rehashing way for you to remember them.

While perusing a book, you might see Heavenly messenger Number 4848, taking a gander at the time, on bills like food, power, Visas, on the screens of your cell phones and PCs, and so on.

It might try and come into the type of number plates that springs up once in a while. It can come to your life in each structure in mask, similar to Holy messenger Number '111111'.

Consequently, notice these numbers like 4848 when you see them sometime later and don't underestimate them. A sign you're upheld and helped by your Heavenly messengers.

If it's not too much trouble, be careful with the various numbers like the numbers from 000, 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 666, 777, 888 to 999, and their persuasions when they show up in your life over and again. They are hanging around for an explanation and never consider them a simple happenstance.

Properties And Significance Of Holy messenger Number 4848

Heavenly messenger nUmber 4848 joins vibrations and traits of the numbers 4 and 8, both showing up two times, amplifying their persuasions.

The number 4 connects with difficult work, endeavors, security, trustworthiness, practicability, respectability, persistence, assurance, constancy, and enthusiasm.

It advises you to work with persistence and assurance until you accomplish your ideal objectives. You can accomplish huge difficult work and keep up with your respectability even in a tension circumstance.

Number 4 likewise connects with Chief heavenly messengers.

Number 8 resounds with the vibrations of power, individual power, great judgment, fearlessness, and inward insight. It additionally has the characteristics of showing riches and overflow, truth, uprightness, independence, and profound edification and arousing.

Heavenly messenger Number 8 is the quantity of karma, and you'll accomplish what you've done and will forfeit.

Genuine Significance And Secret Impact Of Heavenly messenger Number 4848

The genuine importance and secret impact of Holy messenger Number 4848 is that it is an ideal opportunity to receive the reward of your persistent effort.

It is a message from your Heavenly messengers that your troublesome and more regrettable days are practically finished. Rewards are being appeared for you by your Heavenly messengers.

In any case, don't stop now and keep on investing energy and difficult work with assurance to make progress. Nobody can stop you as your Holy messengers are close by and help you up and down your excursion.

Holy messenger Number 4848 is demonstrating that overflow is encompassing you as Holy messengers. Keep an uplifting outlook with respect to new things entering your life.

Since they are monetary overflow, name, and popularity to you, your longing for such an extremely long time, as they are coming to you, stay hopeful in regards to them and keep a receptive outlook.

Heavenly messenger Number 4848 is a message that generally looks profoundly and counsels your inward insight and instinct prior to accomplishing something significant. Since they never lie and consistently show you the correct way.

Number 4848 is additionally asking you to be in a profound way dynamic and to accomplish illumination. This will make you mindful of your life's definitive reason.

The Karma number is likewise, 'you will accomplish as per your work' or the All inclusive Otherworldly Law of Circumstances and logical results and giving and getting.

Number 4848 urges you to give others however much as could reasonably be expected on the grounds that the more you give Heavenly messengers and Master will perceive your endeavors. Yet, it might be ideal assuming you gave others with practically no expectation of profits.

Heavenly messenger Number 4848 Significance In Affection

Holy messenger Number 4848 in adoration advises you to invest sufficient energy into your connections to make them productive and endure forever.

As monetary, social, and individual overflow manifest for you, you want cognizant work to hold your connections since you may be too reluctant or glad for yourself.

Focus entirely on your connections and friends and family since they merit it from you. Recollect that affection is both-sided, and it is a close to home thing and couldn't measure up to actual things.

Love is just reasonable and agreeable in shared understanding and keeping confidence in one another. Having an incredible comprehension and accepting and giving sufficient space to one another to seek after their own advantages will prompt extraordinary love life.

In this way, love your affection from your heart and partake in the adoration and sentiment showering in overflow towards you.

[jafarnajaf]

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[formashimataichi]

Thanks for the preliminary opinion

As someone who never cared abt ships and respects the agency of chihaya it's not a problem of who she decided. It's abt how it's executed.

I wish we get a proper rejection of arata. At the same time i can understand the disappointment. Logical thinking aside we are still emotionally driven lol

Ofcourse not to the point of sheer stupidity to say sensei wasted arata's arc when his whole journey is meaningful. But it looked so one sided from chihaya end to taichi meanwhile it's almost deceiving how chiharata came closer for anyone to understand. Maybe she never liked him romantically. And ofcourse she didn't reject either of them openly and to say that end game romance doesn't change anything is well... not when there is an endgame pair. It's one thing if doesn't get stressed upon but to say that people arguing abt ships are stupid isn't it

And I'd be lying to say the distance didn't play a role although it's emphasized that Taichi being with Chihaya doesn't mean he's at an advantage. It just feels led on for the reader's or give a worthy ending of them being best friends, I'm waiting for full chapter so keeping my fingers crossed

I didn’t focus as closely on the romantic aspect with the last ask so I guess I can do that here!

For the people who’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I was pretty adamantly set on a friendship ending because I believed there was no real need to cement a romantic conclusion in the present. There’s an interview excerpt from Suetsugu I always like to bring up: At eighteen, you can't make a final decision about your love life, ten years later you can't know if things will change. Even if [Chihaya] does give an answer, that's only how she's feeling right now. Nobody meets the person they're destined to be with at eighteen. On a surface level, it may appear that by having Chihaya in a relationship at the end, Suetsugu is going back on her word, but I don’t actually think she is. If anything, this is perhaps the most ingeniously clever way she could execute her philosophy in tandem with the other existing themes of the series regarding friendship, youth, etc. I don’t think we’re supposed to know or care who Chihaya will end up with for the rest of her life. It’s irrelevant to the purposes of the story because the story is never concerned with trying to write out a rigid, unchangeable conclusion to any character’s life. What it is concerned with is nurturing its characters so that they may appreciate their life as it exists now to the fullest and move forward with the confidence that whether things change or remain the same, so long as you’re true to yourself and to the important people in your life, that’s ultimately what matters. The feelings that Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata have are all beautiful and worthwhile, regardless of the present outcome. They or their individual circumstances are not validated or invalidated by that present outcome because the present is never indicative of the future in full. It’s only a moment in time we need to appreciate while we’re standing in it, a moment that we need to give our best shot because if we don’t, then who else will?

In that sense, I think it’s incredibly poignant that: a) Chihaya gets to confess to someone on her own terms and her own timeline, without succumbing to the pressures of meeting anyone else’s expectations because she is ultimately respected for her own agency and priorities, and she gets to enjoy a relationship for what it is in this moment without dwelling interminably on whether or not it will survive, b) Taichi gets to return to karuta and to his friends for reasons entirely to do with himself and his own desire to engage with passion and people because he loves them dearly, hence Chihaya’s confession is not any sort of reward, it just is, its own thing, it’s own moment in time, etc., and c) Arata gets to take full ownership of his feelings and his content to continue to work at them, because he’s no longer the person who can be chained down to stasis and fear by the idea of never meeting his own expectations, he’s no longer the person afraid to move into the future and take chances and strive for something he believes is worth striving for. All of those are worthwhile experiences to me. These relationships and characters are beautiful where they are now, and they will be beautiful in the future regardless of where they will end up. There’s liberation in embracing the uncertainty and impermanence of youth, because it comes many times, and each time it’s uniquely beautiful. Do we know where Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata will end up ultimately with respect to their individual lives or their romances? We don’t. Anything could happen. That’s the genius of it.

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 108

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 108: False Answers

Generously sharing hints inside the door wasn't much of a good thing at all, at least for the owners of the hints.

Because once you’d shared your hint, you’d exposed your own strength. The more difficult the door, the more true this was.

The more toward the end you were, the more difficult it was to get hints at all. So going public with a hint might make you a target, someone everybody was on their guard against. You might even be subject to sabotage.

Plus, without peculiar circumstances, nobody would want to share their hard-won hints anyways.

But the door before them obviously had to be an exception, because if they didn't tell the others the rules of the game, then those who died and became Hakobito would increase the difficulty of their escape.

"Are we going to tell them?" Lin Qiushi asked. "What happens if we just announce it like this?"

"We have to tell them no matter what." Though he'd heard the scream, Ruan Nanzhu wasn't distressed at all. "But there's no rush. They're all shrewd old things, even if I tell them everything they might not believe me."

As the three spoke, they returned to the foyer they were in before, and saw that someone had opened a chest in the corner. Inside the chest was something like a stethoscope. Someone had taken it out, and was examining it closely. That was an item available for use inside the Hako Onna game, Lin Qiushi recalled. He didn't think someone would be lucky enough to open up an item immediately.

"Who screamed just now?" Liang Miye eyed the stethoscope, then looked elsewhere.

"It was me…" a girl said meekly. "I was just getting ready to go check out the kitchen with them, but then I saw something in the crack of the door. I think it was a- a little girl wearing a dress. I couldn't stop myself, and screamed."

This girl was obviously a newbie, nervous-looking and by all appearances inexperienced.

After hearing her explanation, a few of the veterans had on peculiar expressions. They wanted nothing more than to stay as far away as possible from those things—only newbies got so foolishly close and offered up their heads like that.

Lin Qiushi took the opportunity to look around, quickly counting up the proportion of newbies to veterans.

Of the twenty-three, at least four in that group of seven were newbies; dazed bewilderment was still visible on their faces.

Minus these seven, there were likely also some newbies in the remaining sixteen. Which was to say, more than one group had brought newbies into this door. So the newbie count was between eleven and twelve, about half-and-half with the vets.

Actually, upon closer thought, it was easy to understand how people could risk other people's lives like this.

There was a limited number of death conditions. To test and identify one meant being able to avoid it. Testing these conditions with other people's lives was the easiest method.

"Can you not just open random chests?" Among the old hands, there were already some who couldn't watch these newbies mess around anymore. "Look—these chests are everywhere, so they must have some sort of special function. If you keep randomly opening them, shit's definitely going to go wrong!"

"What can go wrong!" The one who'd obtained the stethoscope was a young man, bravely swaggering about with a poor attitude. "I'm perfectly fine, aren't I?"

"You might be fine now, but who knows about later." The one with all the suspicions seemed to be called Sun Yuanzhou. The twist of his head was cold as he spoke to the leader of this newbie pack: "You brought them in. Get a grip on them, will you?"

The one who'd brought the bunch of newbies in this time was a middle-aged man named Wei Xiude. His face was unremarkable, and by appearance alone, seemed friendly and congenial. But evidently, to have brought in so many newbies, he wasn't at all a good person.

"Alright, alright." Wei Xiude at least knew to speak well. "I'll take care of them. Xiao Ji, don't open anymore chests. It won't be good if something happens. It's dangerous inside the door after all."

"Like anything will happen," the young man called Xiao Ji spoke impatiently. "You're too wimpy. No risk no rewards…"

As he spoke, he lifted his hand to open another chest.

"Wait—" Lin Qiushi spoke up to stop him.

But Xiao Ji naturally wouldn't listen to Lin Qiushi. In a single breath, he opened up two more chests. Fortunately, his luck was good: one chest had a slip of paper in it, and the other was empty.

"What's this?" Xiao Ji picked up the paper, and read it out loud. "False Answers…" There seemed to be only those two words on the paper, and no other information. He muttered, "the hell is this?"

He tossed the paper aside onto a table.

"Don't open any more." Seeing that Xiao Ji wasn't planning to quit opening chests, Ruan Nanzhu finally spoke up. "If I'm not wrong, this should be a tabletop game I've played before, called Hako Onna. If you keep opening up chests like this, something nasty really will pop out."

At this, Xiao Ji's hands finally stopped. He said, "What? Why didn't you say so earlier!"

Ruan Nanzhu shrugged. "You moved too quickly. As if I had time to."

Because of Ruan Nanzhu's words, all eyes in the house were now on him. Some looked energized, some doubting, some suspicious.

"You mean we're playing a game right now? Have you played it before?" Sun Yuanzhou got the point quickly.

"A few times." Ruan Nanzhu sat down on the sofa and leaned back. "I couldn't be sure when I first came in, so I went upstairs to find some key items. I'm sure now that it's that game."

Everybody gathered around, waiting for his next words.

Ruan Nanzhu very simply explained the rules. In the heavy chests was a ghoul, and opening them up at random could very well release it. Humans caught by the ghoul became Hakobito—box people—who continue on to sabotage the survivors.

Regarding the rules, Ruan Nanzhu hid nothing. He gave detailed descriptions from beginning to end, and answered many people's questions. But it was as he predicted—though he kept up an earnest attitude, the veterans didn't simply believe everything he told them.

"According to what you said, we can just not open chests??" someone spoke up in the group, questioning Ruan Nanzhu. "That's what you mean? That if we don't open any chests, nothing will happen? You said the safe has a four-digit passcode. Though there are ten thousand combinations, as long as we spend some time testing it we'll get it right eventually!"

Ruan Nanzhu turned a palm to the sky. "I'm only telling you the rules from the game I've played, not what the rules are here. There must have been changes, but I don't know what those changes are either."

"Let's count up how many chests are in this house total," a young woman said. Though she didn't look very old, she was seasoned. "I'm Yin Xinyi, pleasure working with you." She extended a hand to Ruan Nanzhu.

Ruan Nanzhu shook it. "I'm Zhu Meng."

"On the first day, the Hako Onna will cry once," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Where her cry comes from is where she's located. After that, she'll only cry when she wants to obtain a power…"

"Power?" Yin Xinyi asked.

"Yes. He's opened one up already." Ruan Nanzhu pointed at Xiao Ji. "False Answers."

Muttering broke out among the crowd, many asking what exactly this meant.

"In the tabletop, it's one of Hako Onna's powers," Ruan Nanzhu said. "It means the player who plays Hako Onna can lie."

Yin Xinyi, "lie? She can answer our questions?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "in reality, yes. As for here, I don't know what sort of derivative effect the power will have."

"We'll rest for today." Sun Yuanzhou's personality leaned toward dominant, taking up leadership among the group. "It's already after ten, and things are more likely to happen at night. Let's discuss this in more detail tomorrow."

"Okay," most agreed with Sun Yuanzhou's suggestion.

Then everybody began splitting into rooms.

There were three floors in the mansion. Floor one held the functional rooms, like the kitchen. Floors two and three were mostly bedrooms, with studies and bathrooms among them. There was also a large balcony, though it was sealed up by cement.

There were no rules about how many people could stay together, but most went for two to three per room—Lin Qiushi's group as well.

As the night got deeper, the mansion went hazy in the darkness.

Steel boards hammered over the windows blocked out most of the sun. Then, thick drapes like curtains at a show's finale sectioned away the remaining light. The lights in the hallway were a dim red, making the whole area seem like a darkroom or something. It was quite discomfiting.

The room Lin Qiushi and company were staying in was also filled with chests.

They had done a rough count. In the entire mansion, there were at least two hundred wooden chests, each about half a meter tall, neatly placed in every single corner of the house; they had a collective presence that was difficult to ignore.

It was in a chest like this that a girl, with her body all twisted up, could be hidden. At the thought, nobody wanted to take a second glance.

After washing up, the three got in bed. Ruan Nanzhu took the bed by the wall and could see the mass of chests with a mere turn of his head.

Before they slept, the three discussed some things.

"What happens if I don't open any chests?" Liang Miye said. "If nobody opens them, then nobody dies?"

"As if," Ruan Nanzhu said. "There'll definitely be a catch for us in here." They just didn't know what that catch was at the moment.

The doors would never allow them to unconditionally waste time inside, unless…there was only one person left inside this door.

"What kind of catch?" Liang Miye said. "But forcing our moves is good actually, or we're all left hoping others will gamble on their own lives."

Every time you opened a chest was a wager; who knew what would come out?

Ruan Nanzhu made a sound of agreement.

Lin Qiushi's attention was also on the chests, though he was thinking about that stethoscope the guy took during the day. The stethoscope was a game item, but could only be used once a day. It could determine whether or not the Hako Onna was in a chest, because if she was, the stethoscope would pick up soft sounds.

It was a very important item, but it was now in somebody else's hands.

Ah, this really was a game of luck, Lin Qiushi thought. As someone who'd never even won a simple five-yuan lottery, his luck truly wasn't all that impressive.

Plus, with their lives as the gambling chips, they could hardly afford it.

Late in the evening, Lin Qiushi still couldn't sleep well. Around three in the morning, a horrible scream came from downstairs, waking everybody from their dreams.

Lin Qiushi came awake in an instant, opening his eyes and meeting Ruan Nanzhu's gaze.

"Something happened?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"Mh," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Let's go see. Downstairs."

Liang Miye had woken up as well, and said, "that was the second floor, right? Don't tell me somebody got bored enough of living and decided to open a chest?" Ruan Nanzhu had explained it thoroughly enough during the day. If, after all that, someone still wanted to risk their life to open a chest, then Liang Miye really had nothing more to say.

But the annoying thing about newbies was their unpredictability. Under the oppressive weight of terror, no one knew what stupid move they would make next.

The crying and wailing didn't stop. When they got to the second floor, they could still hear the sounds coming through the door.

"Aaaah, it hurts, help me, help me!! Aaah—" The screams were chilling. Several people were currently stood outside that doorway. A sweeping look told Lin Qiushi that these were all veterans, including Sun Yuanzhou. He pushed at the door, then said, "it's locked. I'll go grab something."

"No need, I got it." Ruan Nanzhu slowly approached the door, bent down, and got to unlocking it.

Everybody's eyes were fixed on him. Moments later, the lock clicked open, and the room inside was revealed to them.

The room was already empty. The cries were coming from inside a wooden chest. Not only were there cries emanating from the chest, but also a dull banging, as if the person inside wanted to beat their way out.

"Save me, please save me, I don't want to die…" The closer they got, the more nerve-wracking the sound became.

"Who was staying in this room?" Ruan Nanzhu asked. As he spoke, his eyes drifted toward the chest beside this one. "They opened a chest."

"Fucker." Sun Yuanzhou seemed pissed off, angrily spinning around and going to the room next door. He banged on it until he'd woken up the people inside. "Wei Xiude, get your ass out here now! Were the people in this room with you?!"

Moments later, the room door opened and Wei Xiude walked out. He said, "what are you talking about, 'with me'?"

"In that room!" Sun Yuanzhou jabbed a finger at the room where the incident occurred.

Looking at that room, Wei Xiude's brow lightly puckered. "Yes, there are two of them in there." He seemed to comprehend something. "Something happened to them?"

Sun Yuanzhou spat a curse.

Wei Xiude saw everybody's eyes on him, none very friendly, and he laughed somewhat awkwardly.

"My apologies, I'll give them all a stern reminder for sure. But they haven't been in many doors and some of them don't know the rules…"

Sun Yuanzhou, icily, "mind your own people, or don't blame me for coming after you."

Then he walked off, seeming thoroughly disgusted with Wei Xiude.

Which was fair. A normal tenth door was difficult enough, but the newbies Wei Xiude brought in managed to ruck up the gameplay level to difficult-as-hell.

Nobody was in a good mood at this moment. The looks they shot Wei Xiude were also filled with distaste. Behavior like Wei Xiude's had always been contemptible. Inside the door however, every one could really only sweep the snow from their own front porches; they had no wherewithal to mind anybody else. But if Wei Xiude'd actions proved detrimental to everybody's interests, then that was another matter altogether.

The chest was still wailing at a head-splitting volume.

Lin Qiushi found some items that were left behind around the chest. Judging by the quantity, it hadn't just been one person dragged into the chest by the Hako Onna.

People dying meant an increase in the number of Hakobito; the risk of opening a chest had once again increased.

Lin Qiushi let out a breath, thinking things really were getting tricky.

It was the dead of night at this point. Most likely, nobody got any sleep since that chest wailed on for the entire evening. It was only by morning of the next day that the noise gradually weakened, then finally disappeared.

Lin Qiushi still couldn't understand—Ruan Nanzhu had clearly told them not to open chests for no reason. Why would people still break the taboo? Did they really just believe they would be lucky enough?

After a sleepless night, nobody looked very well. The experienced veterans were mostly fine—it was those who'd been hoodwinked in who looked on the verge of collapse. One girl just curled up in a corner sobbing.

Breakfast appeared by itself in the dining room. It wasn't too bad. Though Lin Qiushi didn't have much of an appetite, he still forced himself to eat some.

It was Ruan Nanzhu whose attention kept wandering. He seemed to be thinking something over. Halfway through eating, he said he wanted to go to the bathroom, and Lin Qiushi said, "I'll go with you."

"Sure," Ruan Nanzhu chuckled. "I'm actually a bit nervous."

Bathrooms in the mansion were all stalls with no distinction for gender. Lin Qiushi stood outside to wait, but after a while, he heard a strange noise coming from inside the bathroom.

Lin Qiushi leaned in closer, and upon realizing what the noise was, his expression changed. The noise…was coming from Ruan Nanzhu.

Ruan Nanzhu seemed to be quietly keening, and in that keen were weak cries for help.

Lin Qiushi rushed inside the bathroom, calling out, "Zhu Meng, Zhu Meng, are you alright?!"

He wanted to open the stall door, but found that it was locked. He fished out his tools in a hurry, and popped the lock on the stall in a couple of swift motions.

Once the door was open, he could see inside. There was nobody there. Beside the toilet, there was a black wooden chest. There was no lock on it—it could be opened with a simple lift.

But Ruan Nanzhu's voice was coming from inside the chest.

Lin Qiushi's face darkened. Many thoughts turned over in his mind as he hurried over to the chest.

"Zhu Meng! Zhu Meng! Is that you in there?"

He knew that Ruan Nanzhu wasn't someone who would just open a chest, but the world of the doors was full of peculiar circumstances. He feared that Ruan Nanzhu had encountered some sudden situation and was dragged into the chest by the Hako Onna.

"Zhu Meng!" Lin Qiushi began hitting the chest calling, "are you inside? Say something—"

"Help me…Please help me…" Ruan Nanzhu's voice was getting weaker and weaker, as if it was going to fade away at any moment. "Please help me…"

It had only been a few minutes, but there was already a sheen of cold sweat on Lin Qiushi's forehead. He stared at the lid of that chest and swallowed, hard, before asking in a raspy voice, "what's my name? Tell me, what's my name outside the door—"

"Linlin, save me…" was how Ruan Nanzhu responded to Lin Qiushi's question.

Upon hearing Ruan Nanzhu's answer, Lin Qiushi released a violent breath. He pressed his hear to that chest and listened as that thing inside keep calling his name in Ruan Nanzhu's voice.

"Linlin, Linlin, save me…Linlin, it hurts…Linlin…"

After staring at that chest for a while, Lin Qiushi turned and left the stall. Then he began going stall to stall, knocking down the row.

Very soon, one of the stall doors opened at his knock. Inside was Ruan Nanzhu with his skirt lifted up, and his expression as he looked at Lin Qiushi was strange.

"Linlin, what are you doing?"

Lin Qiushi looked at his face, and without saying anything, walked in and wrapped him up tightly in a hug.

After a moment's shock, Ruan Nanzhu returned the hug.

"What happened?"

Lin Qiushi, "I've learned what the change is."

Ruan Nanzhu, "hm?"

Lin Qiushi said, "the Hako Onna's power…False Answers." He glanced at a certain stall. "The Hako Onna can imitate people's voices and call for help from inside the chest."

Affection disturbed the mind; the moment something happened to someone you cared for, you were no longer in the state of mind to contemplate the logic of the situation. And once you'd actually opened the chest, there was no longer time for regret.

"What did you hear?" Ruan Nanzhu instantly got an answer from Lin Qiushi's words and expression. "You heard me calling for help inside the chest?"

"Yes," Lin Qiushi said. "Fortunately, you don't like to call me Linlin on the outside."

Ruan Nanzhu said, "I didn't hear anything. It seems the two people from last night were tricked like this."

"Mh," Lin Qiushi said. "They must have a good relationship outside the doors."

Ruan Nanzhu said, "you said just now that the Hako Onna cried inside this room, right?"

Lin Qiushi nodded.

"Then we can confirm her location." Ruan Nanzhu was thinking out loud. "There must be conditions restricting her movement, or we wouldn't be able to open the chests at all.”

If there were no restrictions, then that meant the moment you chose a chest to open, the Hako Onna could move to the chest before you.

"Yes," Lin Qiushi said. "So we can confirm the Hako Onna's in this room…But two people died last night."

That meant there were two additional Hakobito inside the house, and they were in unknown chests.

Ruan Nanzhu said, "let's get them to confirm it with the stethoscope."

Lin Qiushi, "the stethoscope's with the newbie that Wei Xiude brought in."

Ruan Nanzhu nodded. "Mh, I know. Let's go talk to them first, so this item doesn't go to waste."

The stethoscope must have changed as well. As for how, they didn't yet know.

Author's Note:

The strongest players pretty much won't ever bump up against each other, because they typically have their own hints for their own doors. The rest of the spots are divvied up among people without hints, so those people are weaker in comparison. Emmmm personally I think getting your hint out first thing would be catching the Idiot Ball? Everybody's basically your competition, and there's only one super important hint to the next door. Ruan Nanzhu would never go in a door and immediately announce he has a hint and attract everybody's attention like that.

Translator’s Note:

Many thanks to this YouTuber for giving me this split-second screengrab of the English name for “False Answers” ‘cause I couldn’t find it in the rulebook PDF...

Names in this chapter

Sūn Yuánzhōu / Sun(1) Yuan(2) Zhou(1) / 孫元洲

Wèi Xīudé / Wei(4) Xiu(1) De(2) / 魏修德

this bastard's name translates literally to "one who practices ethics" lmao

Xiǎo Jì / Xiao(3) Ji(4) / 小薊

[Ch. 107] | [Ch. 109]

[starkeristheendgame]

Mechanic!Tony & Student!Peter Tinder AU

For @silkystark​ who is definitely gonna shout at me when she reads it

Peter wholeheartedly expected Tony to be a catfish. Even the introduction of Snapchat hadn’t entirely convinced him - Most of Tony’s snaps were various parts of a workshop, and the selfies he was sent seemed too good to be true. Nobody could look that good covered in grease, though Peter hadn’t plucked up the courage to request any videos yet. 

Which, he figured, was pretty stupid, having already agreed to meet Tony. 

He had, however, bullied Ned into coming with him to the agreed meeting place - A quaint little coffee shop on the outskirts of Queens, secluded enough to be comfortable but public enough to be safe. Tony had suggested it for both factors, and had told Peter if he didn’t like it, they could easily go somewhere better suited. 

Peter thumbed his screen again, watching the little loading bubble circle. 

No new messages. 

Tony was two minutes late. Ned’s obnoxious slurping of his slushie was starting to grate on his already agitated nerves. He’d thumbed the screen another four times, completely oblivious to the approaching set of legs when Ned piped up around his straw. 

“Dude, I thought you said he was a catfish?” 

Peter’s gaze shot up just in time to catch the quirk of a brow above dark, red shades, a sinful and amused smirk tilting a wide, plush mouth surrounded by the exact same stubble that Peter had seen in each photograph, and...Oh. 

He was real. 

“You can go now” Peter blurted, slapping at Ned’s shoulder as the older man before them reached up, slowly sliding off his glasses. Dark eyes framed by long lashes fixed on Peter, and he slapped a little harder at Ned, practically shoving him off the bench they’d taken residence upon. Ned muttered a soft ow, rubbing at his arm as he stood. 

“I think I’m supposed to like, threaten you, or something? So, um...If I don’t get a text in...An hour. Yeah, an hour. I’ll call the...Police” Ned attempted, shooting Tony a semi-puzzled scowl. Whatever expression he’d been aiming for, he hadn’t hit, and Peter made a soft noise of embarrassment as Tony flashed Ned a dazzling smile. 

“I can give you my number and address, if that puts you at ease” Tony remarked back, and whatever breath Peter had in his lungs disappeared, because holy voice. Smooth but with a rumbling backtone, a lilted accent that Peter instantly wanted to hear say his name. 

Ned’s nose scrunched. “No thanks. I like girls”. And then he was walking away, casting Peter a cheerful wave as he went. Peter watched him go for a moment, before he looked back up at Tony, cheeks tainted a faint pink. He opened his mouth to apologise, but Tony shifted, one hand tucking his glasses into the front of his shirt and the other extended towards Peter. 

“If he’s your scariest friend, you may want to consider hiring someone, next time”. Peter pulled a face, reaching out and taking Tony’s hand. His palm was large, a little rough, and his fingers were long and slender as he gripped and pulled, carefully and gently helping Peter to his feet. Tony was a head or two taller than him, though not by much. He was certainly broader, though. 

He’s my best friend” Peter defended, and Tony cast him a softer, gentler smile. 

“Cute”. 

Tony walked with a sort of swagger in his step, a comfortable, almost lazy saunter. It would’ve looked cocky on anyone else, but on Tony it looked natural, in place with the rest of him. There was an oil smudge on the hinge of his jaw and a few grease stains on his arms. He must’ve worn gloves when working, because his hands were scrubbed clean and his nails had been scraped. 

He even pulled the chair out, when Peter went to sit. His heart was thumping as he sat, and he felt both excited and a little sick. He hadn’t actually prepared for the scenario that Tony was real. and oh, god. Tony had seen his ass. They’d talked about sex. 

Mortified, he could only nod when Tony offered to get him a sweet tea, sinking lower into his seat as he recalled the various conversations they’d had over the past three weeks. By the time Tony returned with a small tray of two drinks and a cookie, he was scarlet. If Tony noticed, he didn’t say anything, settling across from Peter in a spread out pose. He’d ordered himself a coffee, as dark as motor oil. 

It was actually surprisingly easy to talk to Tony - Peter was interested in robotics and Tony had a hearty knowledge of chemistry. Two drinks in, they were talking animatedly. Or, Tony was, and Peter had been staring at his mouth for the past five minutes. The plump lips, the peek of a wet tongue and pearly teeth, the framework of stubble that he suddenly wanted to feel blazing his thighs raw. 

“If you keep looking at my mouth like that, I’m gonna break the rules” Tony announced suddenly, startling Peter out of his vivid daydream of Tony licking his way between his thighs. 

“Rules?” He asked after a moment, brow furrowing. What rules? 

“I agreed with myself to keep this a PG-rated date. A kiss on the cheek at the end, maximum” Tony informed him, though his own gaze had dropped, the next sweep of his lashes slow, almost demure. Peter flushed then, licking subconsciously at his lower lip. 

“We’ve kind of already passed PG” he pointed out bravely, and was rewarded with another rich smirk and a head tilt, like Tony was amused by his sudden boldness. Peter sank an inch into his seat and covered what he could of his face with his tea mug. Tony cast him another softly amused smirk, and the conversation was tactfully steered towards Peter’s career goals for the future. 

At the end of the date, Tony waited until Peter had text Ned to meet back up, and then leaned down, kindly ignoring the pathetic squeak Peter gave to press the gentlest of kisses to his cheek. “I never made any rules for the second date” Tony murmured against his ear, before turning and striding towards his vintage muscle car like he hadn’t said anything at all, leaving Peter blinking and blushing in his wake. 

Ned was resolutely impressed with a successful date, appreciative of Tony’s attractiveness from a straight-male perspective, and noted immediately that he would deny all knowledge if Aunt May somehow found out. Peter grimaced at the reminder that he’d been pretty bold in his age settings, and scampered back to his apartment before he could think too deeply on it. Being a lab tech for Oscorp paid well enough, and it didn’t hurt that he and Harry were actually pretty close friends, and occasionally fucked. 

No sooner had he settled down on his bed and bitten into a banana, his phone chimed. It was a message from Tony, a sweet remark about enjoying the date, and within the hour they had another one set up at the same coffee place. Peter stared at the messages, heart fluttering slightly. It was real; it was all real. Tony and his face and his snark and his grease stained jaw. 

He said as much, one week and two more dates later, straddling Tony’s thighs and licking shyly into his mouth, tasting the mixture of coffee and mint gum. “I still can’t believe you’re not like, fat or bald. Or a serial killer” he mumbled, aching with the need to grind down over where Tony was hard against the inside of his thigh. 

“I could still be a serial killer” Tony replied, voice rough with the effort of holding himself back. They’d been taking it relatively slow, for making out and grinding on the third date, and it was taking its toll on both of them. Tony was rock solid to the touch and Peter had a damp patch on the front of his jeans. 

“At least put me out of my misery before you put me out of my misery” Peter whined, grasping Tony’s wrist as he let himself rock just slightly, barely riding the thick rise of his cock. It had briefly crossed his mind that maybe Tony’s fault lay in having a cheeto for a cock, but that had quickly been wiped clean. 

“I’m trying to be good” Tony mumbled back, flexing his arm in Peter’s grip but obligingly not moving anywhere, kissing at his lower lip gently, almost sweetly. “I’m behaving”. Peter cursed softly under his breath, drawing a grin from the older man as the younger boy shifted, sat down on top of his clothed cock with no regard for the pressure. 

Peter reached up with both hands, cupping Tony’s cheeks in a way that was tender, before he squeezed gently, looking the mechanic straight in the eye. 

“Mr. Stark, if you’d don’t put your cock in me so deep I lose my voice, I’m gonna tie you to the bed and leave you like that”. 

[dooodle-bug]

Headcanon list for my pmtok ocs

uhhh haha not to be Cringe, but I really wanted to be self indulgent and drop some headcanons for my beloved sonas ocs so here ya go!

Explorer Koopa:

-She/her pronouns

-Her actual name is "Jia" apparently nobody calls her that-

-Spawns after Streamer Cleared in every location somewhere doin something chill like walking around or hanging. The only exception to this is Hot Foot Crater and Origami Castle, which she Does Not go to for obvious reasons-

-When you talk to her, she says something like "Oh hey Mario I'm just chillin around btw did you know that [insert fun fact relevant to current location]??" also, like other NPCs, she repeats the messages as NPCs do

-Talking to her is completely optional and something players would probably only do when Backtracking or just to read the funny dialogue, but after talking to her in EVERY location at least once, she is most pleased by your pursuit of knowledge and trivia and rewards you with the "Kurious Koopa" Trophy, which is necessary for 100% game completion.

-But other than that she just doesn't do much but hang around as any other ordinary NPC-

-In terms of backstory, upon first meeting her, she introduces herself by stating how she is a college student travelling about for research and interest in learning more about this funny world, wanting to ramble about fun facts to anyone who's interested in listening and that's about it-

-To be a bit more in depth, she actually goes to the same college that Professor Toad works at! She takes a ton of minors (Prof's class coincidentally being one of them), but I think she'd major in biology or history or something-

-Interestingly, despite being a Koopa, she really doesn't have much affliction with Bowser's army, for no reason in particular other than she just. Wasn't into working for him, choosing to instead Pursue for Knowledge bc why tf not-

-Childhood and junk was. Pretty Normal for a koopa, nothing too wild or wacky-

-Uhh she's roughly in her early to mid 20s and has been attending that college for roughly 2-ish years-

-Now, personality wise, she's quite softspoken and shy, typically keeping to herself and her studies, however, when discussing any of her interests, she immediately gets super-duper excitable and energetic, going on about all this trivia and stuff she knows regarding the topic-

-Despite being rather shy, she is well-meaning, wanting to help out and Educate the world-

Sticky Note

-They/them pronouns

-Guardian of the Peach Streamer, an optional, non canon streamer present as a DLC.

-Referred to as "Sticky Note" instead of "Post-It" due to the fact that post-it is probably a copyrighted label I probably couldn't use legally- Also Sticky Note just works as a Generalized term.

-Is a pretty big cube, being about 14 feet tall.

-While I don't completely have an idea for their zone down, I can imagine it being some sort of mountainous, rocky location. Speaking of which, you gotta Ascend the mountain to the top peak where the streamer resides. Regardless, I'll need to work out the details at a later date.

-Sticky's personality can be summarized as "the kid who hates everyone and does the entire group project out of spite".

-They take on the personality of some sort of Guardian, peace-keeper, or better yet, Detective as they, in their mind, defeand the world by solving problems, cleaning up the messes, and giving those No-Good bad guys what they deserve.

-In reality, they have a backwards way of thinking, actually being the amoral one who is bossy, judgemental, and single minded, blinded by their annoyance of everyone.

-Theyre also quite nitpicky, quickly casting judgement the moment you fuck up, even a little.

-in terms of gimmick and battle strategy, they use their post it's to close you into a lil "prison". They cover the tiles with notes, making them unrecognizable and thus, unusable (however they can be washed away with the water vellumental). Their other moves compose of body slamming, using their post it's to sorta toss you around and all that good stuff.

Aaannndd that's about all I have! Thank you to whomever took time to read the entire thing, I appreciate it! Like usual, feel free to ask any questions!

[ilonga]

so I watched Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness last night and I have some thoughts:

Overall, I enjoyed it a lot more and I thought it was a lot better than Spider-Man NWH, the last MCU movie I watched. DS:MoM was a fairly entertaining watch overall. But I definitely agree with the comments I’ve seen that it... isn’t that great of a movie? The dialogue feels quite stilted, the plot jumpy and forced, and none of the characters particularly compelling except for Wanda, who’s just mainly fun to watch as the villain. That being said, the things I liked:

- Wanda: I was one of the people who was rooting for her to be revealed as the villain when Wandavision was originally airing because she’d be epic as an antagonist--and she was. Loved how unhinged she was here.

- The Multiverse hopping: YES PLEASE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE TROPE. The Captain Carter cameo was spoiled for me beforehand and I did enjoy it, but WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT MARIA RAMBEAU AS CAPTAIN MARVEL!!! PERFECTION!!! SHE WAS SO BADASS!!! so glad to see my girl maria again, I missed herrr

- America Chavez: She was pretty fun! I think the movie could have made her more compelling but it is what it is. I liked her moms and I liked that her arc was left concluded but pretty open ended. Was the last battle with Wanda a little cheesy? Yeah, but not in an annoying way (to me, at least). More in a “yeah, I saw that coming” sort of way. I do wish we had gotten a bit more character work for her in a more natural way--the memory lane just suddenly revealing her backstory was really contrived.

- Wong: Icon. 

Things I didn’t like/was more ambivalent about:

- Dialogue: Felt super forced. Especially the jarring switches between “Marvel joke-y mode” and seriousness. A lot of the dialogue sounded a hell of a lot better in the trailer than it did in the actual movie.

- Plot: Mehhhhhhh

- Doctor Strange: He’s just... not a super compelling character. They kind of tried to give him a character arc here with him having to learn to open up and “being afraid of being vulnerable” and his whole “unhappiness” schtick but like... didn’t really put in the effort to see it through. And LMAO @ him getting a “not like other girls” moment 

- Also the Multiverse: They should have done SO MUCH more with it. This movie marketed itself as “different in tone from previous marvel movies” but it really wasn’t. At all. Why couldn’t they have thrown in more sci-fi/speculative stuff? What was stopping them? Another thing is that the movie forgets its own rules: if one of the rules of multiversial travel is that you “don’t know anything”, why would Doctor Strange assume that both he and Sinister Strange had a sister? What guarantees that? What guarentess that the sister died in both universes, and in the same way, at that? What even guarantees that every Doctor Strange became a doctor, and acquired his powers the same way? And joined the fight against Thanos? Just like... this movie is very tame in regard to the multiverse aspect which is disappointing.

- The horror aspect: Listen I’m a person who REFUSES to watch any horror but come on, this movie was so tame. WHERE was the spooky. WHERE. There was just a hint of horror-ish vibes, there could have been so much MORE

- Also Wanda?? I’m a bit conflicted on this. While I LOVED seeing her as an unhinged villain, it was definitely a complete 180 from where her character arc in Wandavision left her. It didn’t feel like a very natural turn of her character, more like she acted the way she did because it was plot-necessary. They just hopped from Point A from Point B with her and didn’t really explain how she got there other than “Darkhold corruption *hand-wave*”. And I don’t actually mind that all that much but what’s sticking on my mind now is that it undercuts Monica’s arc in Wandavision a ton, and Monica has a movie coming up soon. In Wandavision, Monica’s empathy and faith in Wanda is rewarded and proven right, and she wins because of it. Hayward is wrong to not listen to her, and villainous for his callous treatment of her, the trio, and of Wanda. But now this movie kind of... ends up doing the opposite? I hope it doesn’t impact Monica’s character too badly but idk at this point

- The action scenes: I know this isn’t a movie that’s intended to have impressive looking fight scenes since most of it is cgi magic but still... a lot of it looked awkward

- Sinister Strange: So... why did he decide to go around murdering Doctor Stranges? How did we get from Point A (all Doctor Stranges are depressed) to Point B (I must murder them for funsies). Not to mention that the battle between them was out-of-nowhere (why are they fighting with music? is this meant to be comedic?)

- Oh yeah and there was a lot of stopping and staring when characters were being chased. What was up with that.

- The Illuminati: WHY WOULD THEY CALL THEM THAT IT SOUNDS SO DUMB anyways. Their logic about Doctor Strange was... super inconsistent. “We have to kill our Doctor Strange because he’s a threat so we’ll keep him around until Thanos is defeated then murder him with his permission” to “this new Doctor Strange is also a threat because he’s a Doctor Strange even if he’s from the multiverse and we have no idea what his universe is likeso we should kill him” to “everyone makes mistakes :)” like. what. And their deaths were super glossed over. Like this universe’s Avengers were all just murdered and they’re pretty fucked now but we’re just gonna ignore that for the rest of the movie. RIP Earth 838 sucks to be you I guess. 

- America opened her first portal and lost her mothers because of a bee. I’m sorry but that’s too comedic to work as a serious moment. Definitely a jarring scene in terms of tone and they could have done a lot better with that moment.

- Christine: I’m fully ambivalent about her. 

And also there’s no way Wanda’s dead. 

Can’t think of anything else at the moment but yeah. Overall a 6 or 7/10 I’d say. Definitely a much more fun watch then NWH, because NWH was just infuriating.

[abbbaboy121212]

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[jafarnajaf]

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[hermit-pistol]

Guido Mista Fluff Alphabet:

Okay Mista fans, here’s your food. Only one more alphabet and this series will be one! Make sure to show love and read under the cut!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Mista has a super adventurous personality and this also shows in the activities that you two take part in. He always likes to do things that others would usually think of as silly, like going to the zoo. But! He always finds a way to make it entertaining and unforgettable. (Who wants to hold the baby kangarooooo)

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He loves your laugh, and whenever he gets to hear it, it feels like the best reward for him. While he may have flirted with his fair share of girls in the past, looks aren't most important to him. In order to get you rolling around on the floor, he'll have to pull out the big guns, of course. Sometimes he'll tag team with Narancia to pull pranks just to get a rise out of you.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Mista absolutely hates when you're sad because that also makes him feel sad. When he sees you sulking on the couch, he joins you, wrapping his large arms around you. He'll keep asking you why you're sad while sticking out his lower lip, (which was absolutely lethal for you). Soon after, you forgot why you were down in the dumps, which was Mista's main goal the whole time.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He's a romantic, so he's always thinking about the future and what it will bring in regards to his love life. Within a few years of dating, he'll already want to move in and get a dog. Maybe two dogs, who knows. He sees marriage, children, grandchildren...all of it.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Mista can be pretty stubborn in certain situations. He will make the plans for dates and activities that the two of you can enjoy. He'll always ask you for your input, of course. Overall, the balance of power in the relationship is equal.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Mista can be a little childish when disagreements are involved. There's a possibility that he'll use humor to get out of a sticky situation, but don't let him get away with this all the time. If he's in the wrong let him know, or else things can get blown out of proportion easily.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Mista thanks you for the companionship and happiness that you've brought into his life. You are the longest relationship that he's had in quite some time given his current line of work, and he loves that you have the patience to stick around with him. Even though his stand keeps him company most of the time, he's glad to share time with another human.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mista is very honest with you. Whether it be where he's going on a mission (sometimes, Bruno yells at him for telling you this), or telling you about his past before joining the organization, he's very transparent with you. You appreciate this, and make sure that you do the same. Hardly any secrets are kept between you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Like R mentions 👀, you inspire him to keep himself clean. Of course, a normal person would want to keep up with appearances but Mista is a very special guy.... While he was cheerful before the relationship he's over the moon when he sees you and prioritizes your time together.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Mista will be quiet, which is very uncharacteristic of him. His stand will always manifest and say whatever he’s thinking, probably along the lines of taunting and verbally harassing the person you’re talking to before they eventually grow frustrated and walk away. The Pistols would cheer, celebrating their victory.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Mista's kisses are very eager and wanting. In addition, he doesn't care who's around and has absolutely no problem with kissing in public. Even if you blush and get embarrassed this only give him another reason to hold you tighter and go to town. Prepare yourself... 😳

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Mista will literally confess to you on the street. The first time he tells you that he loves you is actually in casual conversation. You had to do a double take, and he merely shrugged in response. It would take some getting used to, but you were elated that he felt the same as you!

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He'll want to get married after his time in Passione is over, or at least has settled down to where he can live comfortably with you. The ceremony will be small, with only a few family members attending. Even if you haven't yet upgraded to a larger living space, he'll want to start a family right away. If you decide you're not ready you remind him that the Pistols are already his children.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Every name invented is fair game. He loves using stupid niche names too that come up after a few months of dating. Examples include but are not limited to: "green bean", "lil mami", and "bicycle crusher" (the last refers to your thighs in a related incident).

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He tells the gang that he's crushing on someone all the time, so when he first reveals that he's in love they really don't believe him at first. Although he "always says that", it's the Pistols that escalate the situation even further. Whenever you're along with him they'll come out and start egging him on with kissy noises and the like. He'll turn as red as a tomato when you grant him his wish.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Mista LOVES to show you off in public, and he loves watching the reactions of the passerby as he has an arm slung around your waist traveling dangerously close to your butt. It drives him nuts that out of all of the guys in Italy you chose him, and now that you two are a couple he wants to show the world.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

While many other guys may hate the concept of hugging, Mista loves it wholeheartedly. Whenever you're having a bad day, a good day, or are just walking around he won't hesitate to wrap his arms around you and smile. Sometimes the Pistols will even join in for a group hug! He's basically the hug king, and you're not opposed to that role.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Very romantic babey. Since he’s so smelly he would suggest taking a bath or shower with you. This will take some extreme confidence from both of you. Whether it becomes sexual or not, just being intimate in this way is so special to him.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He believes in you like nobody's business. Also, he loves seeing when you follow through with your goals and sees your dreams coming to fruition! It's extremely exciting for him, and you love seeing his reactions to watching you succeed.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Mista loves the thrill that life and living provides. There's something new that arises every day you spend with him, and you never get bored. Loves booking hotel rooms for trips and the like and not telling you until the night before, which can be stressful yet cute.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Mista is stupid but means well. Sometimes you can quiz him, and he'll still forget something as simple as your favorite food, or your favorite color. In time, he'll learn more about you and your emotions, but for now every time you tell him a fact about yourself he'll write it in his phone so he doesn't forget. 🥺

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Mista will be so cheesy about telling you how much you mean to him. -"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...."- <-- If he pulls anything like this he usually givers you permission to slap him. You're one of the only partners that's stuck around with him for this long, and he's not planning on letting you go any time soon.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Mista insists that he should help around the house at times, and this means that he's going to help with the chores in any way that he can. You end up assigning him grocery shopping (a big mistake). He is so unorganized and claims that he doesn’t need a list to go off of, and this usually results in him buying whatever he wants. Watch him get all the way home and still manage to forget the milk and bread. Good thing he bought the family pack of ice cream sandwiches though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

If you look up affectionate in the dictionary, there's a very good chance that you'll see Mista's name. He loves to cuddle with you and especially loves to nap with you because of the intimacy. Mista can nap anywhere, anytime, but he prefers falling asleep with you in his arms!

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Mista will be soooo needy when you are away, and so will the Pistols. When you have the free time between class or meetings he'll call you begging for you to come home with his six children screaming in the background. Eventually, it'll get to be too much and you have no choice but to come home, much to his delight. He'll never let you go.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Mista will definitely buy you presents if he has the money at hand. Expect lavish gifts like jewelry and clothes from him, whether it's a special occasion or not. If he could, he'd give you the world, but at times you have to remind him that you have more than enough and you don't need to be impressed by physical possessions.