#not actively invested in it anymore
Text
i wish i was still into d20 with the level of enthusiasm i had two years ago
#i still like it but im like#not actively invested in it anymore#i found the last few seasons underwhelming and havent watched acofaf yet cause im busy and just like#not excited enough to jump into it during the semester. probably over winter break ill dive in#ive heard its great but. eh. i just cant get motivated rn#which does kinda suck cause i loved the feeling of bejng really excited about d20 i used to have#i still love the show esp the early seasons (esp esp fh)#but the flaws (both structural/critical and personal taste wise) just stick out to me more now in hindsight and hold me back#gd. i want to love tuc. i do. i still love so much about it#but the more i think about it the more the whole antisemitism thing gets under my skin and it sucks#oh well#sasha speaks
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
at that weird time of night where i don't really want to go to bed but i don't have time to start watching anything so i'm kind of just clicking around meaninglessly on various websites
#well i still have great comet going but i'm not all that invested anymore#i listened to pierre and no one else and that got whatever weird emotions i was having out of my system...#i don't know why my activity of choice every evening is watching a theater production or movie of some kind.#i think maybe if i sit alone with my thoughts too long i'll drive myself to madness. who is to say#.txt
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Random art vent lol
I get tired of constantly pouring my heart out when asked about my stuff only for it to fall flat. Like why did they even ask me to begin with??? Just to tease me??? 😭 bruh
#this is very different than what I usually post#I don’t really like doing it but tbh this has been bothering me for the past couple of months in different places I’m active in#and it’s starting to become annoying#i listen to everyone’s lore and ocs or whatever the convo is only to end up with like one reply and they die on me. AND IT KEEPS HAPPENING#IN DIFFERENT Group chats#man I’m just so tired of even lore dumping all the time at this point 💀#it seems like when I actually have the motivation to finally open up that’s when I get ignored the most :/#I’m probably being a sensitive baby rn so I might delete this later. only wanted to get it off my chest#i can listen to other people talk for hours then the second I speak it feels like bore everyone 😔#i only have like 1 or 2 people that actually listen to me when it’s my turn but most of the time I’m always listening. which isn’t bad but#man#it hurts and kinda makes me wanna cry lmao#and it makes me just half ass shit at this point when people ask about my ocs/lore since I don’t know if they want a tiny bit of info or#if they’re actually intrigued :/ I just give up now#ok I’m done this is way too long ahaha#vent#it’s not that I constantly want atteion because I don’t and I love listening to other people and sometimes when I ask they don’t talk to me#but will to someone els even when I’m super invested so idk at this point#😞#i admit I have times when I’m shy but it mostly due to not wanting to wast peoples time anymore#ok I will shut to the up#gn#it’s like 1am for me#and I really don’t want people to ask only because of this post. trust me that’s not what I’m trying to do i swear. only getting out feels
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Things are just so bleak man.
#vent#just me rambling#SO many fucking things#first off and maybe the least bad of all#that one studio that contacted me for a feature film turned me down ultimately#i WANT so dearly to work on features. it's what i want to do. but nobody will give me a chance#because they all want experience on features to work on features. well how do you guys think this works#i'm so tired of it and discouraged#but ultimately that's the least of the issues because#my usual studio is going under. they been struggling financially for years and the CEO did a special meeting to say it#they're lowering activity (one friday every two weeks is off to try and save money) and have 6 months to get back on their feet#which is nothing. they can't find producers willing to dump money in the studio in 6 months esp with ENOUGH to pull it out of the gutter#if they're not better off in 6 months the CEO said ''then ill get back to you with terrible news'' and didn't detail but we know. we know#it's basically said and done in my mind. my main studio as big as it was is crashing down. and idk what ill do.#i bought a flat in this city due to this studio being there- without it this place has no more work to offer me. empty city#job security doesn't exist anymore#and we all know why. producers are much more squeamish about investing in animation because ai is here#why would you give money to allow hundreds of workers to live and pour passion in projects when you can pay a pathetic percentage of that#with midjourney or whatever the shit and get an easy cheap show. rack in more money for smaller an investment#and tumblr is going down that route too. can't get a fucking break anywhere#i'm heartbroken and grieving the world we lost#in a bunch of years looking at art while 100% knowing a person made it with intent will be a memory#being able to not even think about it is already out of our hands#ai 'art' will be everywhere and it will become a new normal. and i'm just.. man.#the world feels so empty already
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
god how i missed tankdad and his not-son pico
theyre everything to me rn
#watching the fungus show has rewired my brain for these 2#john being a broken man whos lost too many people he just doesnt blink when he kills anyone anymore picking up this snappy little teen#who loves shitty jokes and never shuts the fuck up when he should and also wants a gun Really Really Bad#first as a transaction. basically just a means to an end of finding someone hes already invested emotion in#then finding out actually? he can get used to this. picos noisy ass beats aimlessly drifting thru the apocalypse til he gets jumped#or finally topples over from how much everything sucks#and pico actually finds someone who stays and chooses to keep him to the extent that john actively refuses to die while picos at risk#among other things johns willing to do to other people that try to take pico from him💀#anyway pico gets to enjoy getting glimpses of the world before it ended thru an old man who heals the bleeding killer in his heart by#by being some weird teens lame dad#anonymous
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
deleting twitter (self care)
#fuck wilbur soot let me be clear#how dare you do things like that to people in your life.#how dare you market yourself as a safe space to young women and girls#and then turn around and be so violently misogynistic off camera#the suffering of women isn’t something you can just use for money and then drop#however shit is Too Much and im not even invested these people anymore tbh#so off twitter we go#it feels like a fucking violent mob of people and it stresses me out.#so get ready for me to be more active here#2021 me had the right idea not to be on there
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#hey anon!!#thanks for asking ☺️#i didn't leave because i doubt what i know#i definitely believe everything i researched and witnessed#so there was no change in my belief in the relationship#i wasn't enjoying fandom anymore and i disliked the general direction it was taking#also i felt like i was too emotionally invested in artists who weren't as invested in fans as they used to be#so while i don't doubt what i know to be true i started believing differently of my faves' priorities if that makes sense#so it had a lot to do with fandom but it had to do with the artists as well#not in the sense that i stopped believing in something but i don't relate to them like i used to#i will always love my gay babies but i decided i didn't want to invest time actively being a fan of people who don't share my ethics#i hope that makes sense
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
ah once again the "didnt think it was for me, got big, now i definitely know its not for me but everyones talkin abt it" problem lol
#personal#this is abt dmeshi btw lol im just not into it#n seein it everywhere its like man. what will happen first it becoming less popular or me blacklisting it#i think im just fr not into fantasy shit anymore its just gotten real boring to me cuz like. then i gotta memorize shit lmao#anything says ''fantasy'' in big letters and i hear lotr dorks and weebs in the distance blaring their lil sirens like MEMORIZE EVERYTHIN#like im juuuuuuuuust not into worldbuilding and magic rules i gotta learn for some new show thats not even that good#and gets all convoluted like ohh woah he activated his trap card which in section 3.5 says that seventen leopards jump out and#immediately kill things that are undead and on fire exclusively but also inflicts a curse on its user so now in thirty jizzing episodes the#ll have a panic attack that triggers the Nineteen Runes of Saturn and like. man. thats nerd shit im not into that#OR its like. ohh siht thats dr dumb from the planet xenorp in episode five point twelve where he committed larceny and NOW hes back#in episode 6789305 to get revenge but jane doe pulls out her goop from episode sixteen where she put together a puzzle in the bg and#like MAN. IM NOT DOIN THAT#the payoff is NOT worth the time invested for me so im just gonna go watch a show that doesnt have a textbook fanbook made for it#anyway me. rambling. always. going back to the art mines where i draw utena and anthy kissing for the upteenth time
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Liam's character should get permadeath on account of I find him annoying and wish the worst on him. hope that helps xx
#i don't particularly care abt i//modna but.#making it a 'coin toss' to make it 'fair'??#after yall clowns whined all week w liam main character syndrome being permanently dead??#at least fucking deliver on it.#any yime u make ur game abt 'coin-toss' and not what is narratively juicy... yall failed.#stupidest goddamn show on earth snd it keeps getting stupider#so glad im not invested in it anymore and can actively point and laugh from the sidelines
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Well. Uh. Oversharing in the tags lmao
#Fun Friday night activity! Realize u might have been in love with ur childhood best friend#but also ur probably aroace so how do u know for sure? And also realize you're happy you didn't realize till now#because u definitely dont like her like that anymore and its definitely for the best but then get#a little sad about drifting and how you've both changed. And then! write bad poetry about it#and never ever share it#im having um#a bit of a crisis#this is just so weird. because i dont even KNOW like i dont know what it means i dont know what it feels like but i know#that i was jealous when she started hanging out with friends without me#and that i'd always just get overly invested in her crushes instead of having my own#and we were inseparable for so many years#but now we are so different#and im happy with the ways ive grown#and im sad that she didnt come with me#but i dont know that she could have#i dont even know who she would be#and i barely remember who i was then#idk#idk idk idk#its so weird to talk to someone you grew up beside and not be able to recognize what it was that made you friends in the first place#ok#sorry#overshare is OVER#im gonna watch some 911 now#maddy.spam#maybe i should get a journal
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
people are reblogging my stucky edit and now i guess i'm back on my bullshit
#i mean. my bf and i watch every comics adaptation which means we still watch marvel projects#so i never TOTALLY got off my bullshit#but i wasn't actively participating in the fandoms anymore#most of my comics/mcu mutuals have moved on or deleted#especially my stucky moots#i can't remember the last time i read fic but goddamn HERE I AM NOW#i read THREE multichapter fics last night#do i really want to get back to being heavily invested in the love lives of fictional characters?#no. but also it's hella fun sooo. yes.#stucky#mcu#text post
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
im having so much fun writing cadet because hes just like this every day
#i love the kubrick stare its just the ocd stare to me#also i think in the end making caddy lamb a VN is the right idea because its a little easier to imply things about the characters this way#like you play as cadet so you have access to his journal and you can read it if you want to learn more about him#and when he experiences intrusive thoughts its a lot more personal and you are trapped in his head because he is the protagonist#and it makes the pious route a lot more interesting because you arent in his mind anymore but hes a lot more open about what hes thinking#but you also arent getting the full scope hes just kinda crazy and you deal with this explosive guy who let his anger issues take over#im just very invested in the ways in which i can convey what its like to have this shitass disorder#like making compulsions a thing that you have to actively choose not to do#and even if you consistently dont do them the options never disappear you just always have to say no#or give in and it doesnt make much of a difference#not so much that it ruins the player experience but just to make it apparent that it is an active battle to just be normal for 2 seconds#urgh i really am getting excited about this because it feels like im finally gonna be able to share this story#and actually be responsible for portraying a character with ocd who isnt like. a square who keeps things tidy. or whatever#not that its gonna be a complete game changer or even be noticed at all#i just need to put this story out there for myself more than anything to be honest
1 note
·
View note
Text
I’ve come to the very boring realization that if pitigi disband I don’t think I can make myself keep up with the kpop industry as a whole anymore
used to not understand ppl who feel that strongly about one specific group but now idk
#I’ll always listen to what I like and am enjoying and recommendations#but ugh not sure I’m gonna check for new music bc current trends ARE boring me#like among new groups I think lghtsm and blllle are promising but neither is active enough to keep me Invested invested (for now)#I’ll always love the moon girls I think but idk… their new music isn’t the same for me anymore#I liked flip that a lot more than ptt and honestly why not too#but idk#it’s not making all of the gears spin in my brain anymore#like it’s not a going to stop listening to K-pop#there’s many styles I enjoy#but idk keeping up with comebacks and debuts of groups I only care a little bit about can’t see myself doing that
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my tags on the post i just reblogged got me thinking so here’s my current stream of consciousness
#i refer to ages 12-16 as my ‘church girl era’ bc that’s when i got really deep into christianity#like i went to church twice a week (regular sessions on sundays small groups on tuesdays) and to church events trips camps etc all the time#i even got baptized when i was 13 bc my siblings and i weren’t baptized as babies#like church was such a huge part of my life but i think it only became that bc of the specific church i went to#it was a nondenominational church and the environment was very chill for lack of a better word#and the social aspect of it was really what got me into the actual religion#i HATED going there when we first moved here bc i didn’t know anyone and i was so painfully shy#then in middle school i made a bunch of friends who went to the same church and suddenly it was so fun#that’s when i started going on tuesdays bc we would play games and have contests and stuff like that before the actual small groups#so it felt more like a club my friends and i were in than a church#but once i had those friends and i was comfortable being there i genuinely started to get more invested in christianity#bc i was actually paying attention to the sermons instead of just thinking about how anxious i was the whole time#so by the time i started high school i was very actively christian for the first time in my life#but somehow i drifted away from it just as easily as i fell into it#i started playing lacrosse when i was 15 and we had practice most weeknights so i couldn’t go to small groups anymore#and then our church merged with a bigger church in the area so we became a new branch of that church instead of a little community church#and the merger changed so much about the way the church operated that a ton of people just stopped going entirely including me#and it only took a few months for me to realize that i just didn’t really believe any of it or feel connected to it anymore#and idk even years later i still have love for a lot of those people and that part of my life#but it’s interesting how as soon as i lost that social community the church gave me i was completely disconnected from the religion itself#and at this point in my life i can’t see myself ever identifying as a christian again partly bc i just can’t get myself to believe in god#and partly bc of all the awful christians out there although i firmly believe there are still so many christians who are good people#for example my church was always accepting of the lgbtq+ community which obviously was and is super important to me#but yeah i just can’t see myself ever being religious again but at the same time i still find myself missing it sometimes even now#the community was clearly a huge part of it for me but it was also such a nice feeling to be so into the faith or wtv you want to call it#like i’ve always known my own values/morals ofc and i also love other forms of spirituality but actual religion is such a unique thing to me#like i don’t want to be christian again but i do miss the feeling of being christian/religious in general if that makes sense#and at least for me there really isn’t any substitute that can give me that same specific feeling which is honestly really sad to me#anyway. idk where i was going with this but if any former christians (or other ex religious people) want to weigh in i’d love your thoughts#lj.txt
0 notes
Text
I feel like I miss stanning a gg
#likeee I’m not really a blink anymore#and I’ve been thinking abt getting into another gg but I can’t find any whose discog I’m super into 😭#armageddon has me pondering abt stanning aespa but I don’t like any of their other albums sooooo….#or maybe I just miss stanning an active group 🥲#but also I’m over my kpop stan phase (not including g7)#I can get into the music but I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to get invested in the members of any other group anyway
0 notes
Text
can i be entirely honest for a second. i fucking hate james/regulus as a ship. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
#i’m not invested in harry potter anymore#i’m actively UNinvested#but every time i see someone talk abt that particular ship i cringe like i’ve just licked a dirty salt lamp#hp#hp wank#ship wank
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
languages-and-i
Languages and I
lesliiswagger
lesli
askthesheepmaid
AskTheSheepMaid
aliibrahimovofficial
Ali Ibrahimov.official
windowsdown23
Maddie Kirby