#not bad blood but like clean we found wonderland you are in love out of the woods | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keysmashingfantasies · 3 years

Text

Bloody Comfort

pre borderlands!Niragi x fem!reader / Niragi x fem!reader

A/N: i feel like i only post Marvel on this blog and i missed my show so here it is, finally an AiB fic! :D also, minigame: how many alice in wonderland references can you spot? also also, bloody comfort is an awesome name for a band and if you do name your band that, i want my money. enjoy the fic! also also also i didn’t proofread SHIT so sorry for any grammar mistakes.

trigger warning: bullying, mentions of violence (nothing too graphic, i think but beware nonetheless), death (graphic. i mean, i’m not that good of a writer but still, beware), very slight mentions of nsfw, especially torwards the end, niragi (HE’S A WARNING OK), niragi having disturbing thoughts (what else is new. but fr, ok), sliiiiiight yandere niragi torwards the end. (also I tried not to describe in too much detail the bullying that niragi and the reader suffer in the fic so it wouldn’t be too sad).

@dreamingofanisland here it is bestie!

Niragi couldn’t pinpoint when he stopped being sad and when he started getting angry. From a suffocating hopelessness came a desperation he could only describe as feral. He often fantasized about just jumping over his desk and strangling each one of them to death but his thoughts quickly ended with Niragi envisioning himself being overpowered and beaten. He started to not only get angry at his bullies, but people in general. Things. Life.

How could so many people turn a blind eye? How could life be so unfair to give people like this the upperhand and not him? Not him that clearly deserved it? This world was backwards.

He knew he was fucked when he saw the bat, and although he braced for the impact he couldn’t help but fall to his knees and wince at the sickening sound that the baseball did in contact with his nose.

He just sat there and while all he wanted to do was to rip their throats with his teeth all he did was to endure a few more punches before they left with a promise that there would be more. He sat there trying not to cry with sheer frustration. His papers were scattered around, the left arm of his glasses was broken and his pristine black outfit was now covered in dust from the gravel, his hands scratched. He could taste blood on his tongue and he felt a sick satisfaction, pretending for one moment that it was another person’s blood he was tasting.

“Do you need help?”, a voice woke him from his violent daydreams. Suddenly everything boiled over and he felt an overwhelming anger rise inside of him. In a blink of an eye he was standing up, yelling at a somewhat blurry image of a girl who he towered over, even more as she shrunk under his anger. If he wouldn’t be so busy screaming profanities, he would be madly aroused.

“WHAT, HUH? CAME TO SEE THE SHOW? TO LAUGH AT ME?”, he was furious, and as he approached her, she proceeded to walk back.

“No. I just wanted to help”, she said. It seemed another flash and suddenly he could see a bit clearer. Although startled, she didn’t seem afraid of him, and was extending him a tissue. “Your nose is bleeding”, she said, and Niragi wanted to scoff at her for stating the obvious. But she was being kind. And as angry as he was, kindness wasn’t something that he could say no to. He tried his best to control his shaky hands as he took the tissue from her hands and carefully dabbed his nose, as she ducked to collect his papers, and tuck them back into his bag.

“Saw what they did to you. ‘m sorry”, she mumbled. Niragi wanted to strangle her out of sheer embarrassment.

“And you just took some popcorn and enjoyed the spectacle?”, he spat.

“I wanted to help but I wasn’t sure what to do. Would you rather if I had called someone?”, she asked. He breathed once, twice. She wasn’t mocking him, but was unnervingly calm. Something about her being calm while he was practically foaming at the mouth had him seeing red and suddenly he regret having wiped the blood off of his lips.

“No”, he said, calmly. “No, I wouldn’t. Sorry. I have to go”, he said, ripping his bag from her hands with such force that he tugged her arm with it.

“Wait! I mean what I said! I want to help!”

“You, help me? What are you going to do, huh? Be my bodyguard?”, he mocked her one more time. He couldn’t help himself, his brain got used to this. Fight or flight. His adrenaline was pumping and everytime he was around school grounds he looked over his shoulder.

“Hmmm, sorta? Not exactly but I could show you a place. A safe place”, she said. He just looked at her.

“If we get there and it’s a prank of some sort I’ll let you punch me. Square in the face”, she said.

“Are you insane? You just go around letting people punch you in the face?”, his mouth was quicker than his brains and suddenly he felt his face grow hot at the irony of what he had said. But if she noticed it, she didn’t mention.

“Let me help you”, she said.

And he did.

He followed her through a wooded area near the school grounds after walking through a hole in a fence.

He was getting ready to beat you to the punch and hit you so hard that you’d bleed as hard as he did, until you stopped until you reached a very underwhelming toolshed with a padlock.

“We’re here”, you said, and he realized that she sounded different. All this time she was on edge. ‘Of course, Suguru, you threatened the girl like, 3 times’, said the voice in the back of his head. She pulled a key from her bag and the padlock opened easily and they heavy chains fell to the ground and she pushed open the door, going inside. He hesitantly followed.

The inside is nothing as he thought it would be. For starters, it was surprisingly clean and it didn’t smell bad. And instead of tools and brooms and leafblowers, it had bean bags, blankets, a table with a radio full of knickknacks in the corner and a chair that had clearly seen better days but looked comfortable none the less. The girl walked to a corner of the room and his eyes followed her as she closed the door, which had small sharpie drawings on it. She reached for a white box and settled it on the floor between the two bean bags, and reached inside a very small thermos to pull out an artificially blue isotonic drink and settled it down too. Then from the plastic bag he previously assumed was trash, she pulled a bag of chips.

She then patted the bean bag next to hers. “Welcome to my clinic”, she said, placing the white box on her lap.

After an entire afternoon of bonding over unhealthy food and an impromptu first aid rescue, Niragi learned that her name was Y/N, she was a year below and that this little world she created was her refuge from the girls in her class that picked on her.

“I found this and decided that it would be nice. No one’s using it, it’s far from everything. It’s on the Beheaded Woman’s territory”.

Niragi heard the rumors through his bullies. “One day we’ll drag you to the Beheaded Woman’s woods and fucking kill you”. After further investigation, he learned that allegedly a girl was dragged through the woods and beheaded with a blunt axe.

“I made the rumors up. I had to make sure no one would find my safe haven”, she explained. “And once you write something in the girls’ bathroom stall, there’s no turning back. It’s out there and it’s truth”, she sighed. “I would know”.

He wasn’t the most up to date in all the gossip but she told him her story. The rumors they spread, the things they did to her. She almost seemed amused. He in turn told her his story. By the end of it, he could kill someone. She then offered him the other key to her safe haven.

“You can decorate it too. Don’t tell anyone else and make sure to lock it after you use it. Use it as much as you want, just make sure they don’t follow you, okay?”

He took the keys with shakey hands, a knot on his throat. Another type of adrenaline was pumping through his veins. When a few moments ago there were a fast white heat, coursing through him like an electric current, this was slow and almost overwhelmingly warm, like molten lava.

“Why are you doing this? Being so nice to me?”, he whispered as if it was a secret, as if this moment was another fantasy, a deer that’s easily spooked. He had fantasized about this too. A safe haven, an ally. A friend.

“Because we’re the same, you and I”.

You hated him. You hated him with a burning passion. What was at first an act of pity, born from the empathy you felt by seeing someone go through what you did, quickly became a friendship and like a disease, it spread to beyond your safe haven. You would spend your free time together, walk home together. You became friends. And what did he do? Exactly what he told you he would.

“Sometimes don’t you wish to disappear?”, he whispered to you once.

“Yeah. Like, run away? Yeah, I do”, you replied agreeing with him.

‘You’re the only one that understands me. We really are the same’, he would say. What at the beginning of your budding crush on him gave you butterflies on the stomach now made you want to throw up.

You lost your only friend. You despised the sound of music now, because every single song you heard, you shared with him. For the same reason, you didn’t enjoy your favorite movies anymore. Your bullies banded together to target you. And the worst part of all, is that you couldn’t even care. There was no silver lining anymore.

“Don’t you get furious?! Don’t you want to hurt them, make them pay?”, he said as he watched you apply concealer to a bruised cheek.

“I mean, I get angry but I try my best to not let it get to me. It’s what they want. I despise those people, I can’t get in a funk because of them”, you said nonchalantly.

But you had loved him. And now you felt like even moving around was an herculean task, like you were almost dead trying to get to safety. But there was no safety anymore.

Ironically, you started to understand him more and more after he disappeared. The anger, the hatred. How could anyone just follow their lives? When there’s people like you just suffering through yours?

Suguru Niragi was an illness, a parasite. He carved his way under your skin and into your heart, laid eggs of his hate on your veins and sucked you dry of your life’s essence. Then, after you were a shell of a human, he disappeared out of thin air, leaving you alone. Leaving you with those people. Leaving you to die.

And you were still in love with him.

You thought you were finally insane when it happened.

The streets were empty. Absolutely no one. You wondered for a moment if you felt so alone that your mind convinced itself that that’s exactly what had happened, if any moment now you would be locked in an insane asylum for running around and screaming until you throat got raw.

It took you two games to understand what was going on. You made sure to change clothes. Running shoes, leggings and a warm hoodie that you never let the hood down. You decided to significantly shorten your hair after you saw a man pull a young girl by the ponytail in a spades game. You loaded a backpack with food and bottles of water, anything you could find. And an axe that you took from an emergency box from the building you slept in.

It was on your 5th game that it happened. You saw people die in these games, but none of it was hands on for you. You just watched your back and hoped to win and let whoever was running this show take care of the rest. Honestly, you didn’t even wait to know if anyone even survived. You were done doing that.

When you got there, there were five people already. They banded together and whispered amongst themselves as you passed them by and grabbed a phone. Probably just a group of friends that got stranded at the same time and decided to stay together. You clutched you axe harder.

You didn’t even realize that you had zoned out until you heard hollering and four guys heavily armed walked you by. Where the fuck did they get guns? One of them let out a boisterous laugh that reminded you of someone that you wanted desperately to forget. You couldn’t even get over him during fucking Saw? That sound made your skin crawl.

Registration closed, said the mechanic voice. Difficulty: 8 of clubs. The first 5 players will be the first team and the last 5 players will be the second. One team must eliminate the others without losing any players. Both teams will be identified by the color of your screen, and will have one minute to hide.

You saw the armed guys’ screens light up red. You sighed in relief as yours did too. You made sure to keep your head down and thank whoever that not killing teammates was a part of the rules. They seemed amused and absolutely calm, and the guy with the rifle laughed again. You were shaking by now.

When the minute started, everyone bolted in different directions. You didn’t even look back to see if your teammates had accompanied you but by the sound of your footsteps crushing leaves, you were alone. You decided to go back after a while, looking around. A lamppost. Huh, lamppost it is. You leaned against the cool metal and focused on the silence. The minute had ended but they were still hunting. You didn’t come across anyone, which was good. After a while, all you could hear were distant gunshots.

You looked to the floor, only to see a shadow approaching you quick. You barely had time to dodge before a man hit you behind the head with a rock. You reacting made him lose his balance, falling to the floor and letting go of the rock. You looked at him. It was one of the boys from the other team. He had on a white button up blouse and a black hoodie. His hair had fallen over his brown eyes and he looked so scared and so alone.

This will have to do.

You didn’t stop, suddenly lifting the axe and bringing it down was like an automatic thing.

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME? AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU! YOU ABANDONED ME IN A MINUTE, LEFT ME ALONE IN THAT HELL!”

You didn’t stop when he started praying and then screaming. You didn’t stop when he started bleeding profusely or when the strength of your movements made your hood slide down from your head. You didn’t stop when his head got detached from his body and if you weren’t so angry, you would’ve listened tfootsteps. You didn’t stop until you had made mincemeat out of his face. Just for the sheer audacity of reminding you of him.

He looked at you from afar while you looked at the body of the boy whose skull you just had destroyed, a maniac, victorious smile on your face. You were pretending the boy was him. You really thought he had abandoned you? He would be absolutely heartbroken if he wasn’t so aroused. That’s what he always wanted to see, the instincts that you tried to push down. You were right, you were both the same. He wanted to lick that blood off of you, use it as lube to take you right there. When he first arrived at the Borderlands, when he first killed someone and liked it, he thought you would be disgusted by him. But look at you now. You were here, perfect for him, soaked in blood, feral. He’s never been so hard.

“Y/N”, he said.

“Niragi?,” you said. He ran to you, held you even when you fought back, even when you screamed bloody murder that you were going insane, begging to die already, even when you passed out on his arms. He licked a drop of blood from your neck.

“Let me take you to our safe haven”, he whispered against your skin.

#niragi loving hours in this mf house #niragi x reader #niragi fic #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #niragi imagine #alice in boderland x reader #alice in borderland fic #niragi suguru x reader #suguru niragi x reader

590 notes · View notes

prfctethereal · 3 years

Text

in my head. | remus lupin

thank u, next x marauders

alexa, play in my head by ariana grande

pairing: remus lupin x reader

summary: you try to tell remus how perfect you think he is, but his insecurities get in the way

word count: 1,819

warnings: mentions of injury

a/n: yuh, in my head is one of my favourites from thank u next and i really love this story ahhh it's so cute okay bye - kennedy

***

Love was a funny thing. When you’re in love with someone, you tend to focus on the good of the person, and completely ignore all of their flaws. Whether you convince yourself that you’re different and you don’t do that, it will be true for everyone. Everything about the person you love is distorted through rose coloured glasses.

I always thought of Remus Lupin as a perfect angel. From the first time our eyes met on the train in first year, I knew I would grow to care for him deeply. Even later on, when we became the closest of friends, as well as with James, Sirius, and Peter, I knew I would care for him forever.

It was me who first noticed something strange with Remus the first year, only raising slight concerns when he would disappear for a few days and come back, cuts on his face and arms littered with bruises. Pointing this out to him only made him shy away, so I took my concerns and thoughts over to the other boys.

Second year was when we finally confronted Remus about what was going on. Ashamed of himself, he explained of his lycanthropy, expecting us to leave him, but of course, we did not. By now, my heart had begun to flutter whenever I caught Remus’ gaze from across the classroom or whenever our hands grazed each other’s when passing books between us. I knew I liked Remus in a different way to the other boys.

We never left Remus’ side when we found out he was a werewolf. He expected us to think of him as a monster, but I only saw another thing to hush about him in private. His bravery, his courage. his persistence. He seemed perfect to me, not bothering to suspect that maybe lycanthropy was a flaw.

Perfection. As we grew older, I only saw Remus as perfect. Perfect cedar hair that swept to the side, fluffing at the top of his head. Warm, inviting eyes that perfectly swirled with wonder and mystery. Scars across his face, seemingly endearing. It came natural to me in third year when I realised that I had a crush on the wolf boy, confusing me as to why I hadn’t realised earlier.

In fourth year, my love for Remus only grew stronger and in fifth year, the other marauders and I made a pact to become animagi to help Remus during his full moons, much to his disputes.

When it was time to show Remus our animagus forms, we ushered him into the Room of Requirement one quiet night, a few days before the full moon. It was a risky idea as Remus often became more and more anxious as the full moon came closer but we thought the revelation would calm him down.

“I don’t understand what we’re doing here.” Remus muttered, playing with the fingers in his hands anxiously. I stood by his side, wrapping my arm around him comfortingly, as Sirius started explaining what was going on.

“I know that you always feel alone and scared during the full moons so we wanted to find a way to help you.” Sirius said, gesturing to the group around us. When Remus looked my way, I gave him a small smile, feeling a blush rise on my cheeks, as Sirius continued. “So, we made it our mission to become animagi.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Remus looked absolutely terrified, getting all flustered as he pulled away from us, backing away against a wall. “That’s dangerous, that’s illegal. I can’t have you guys in trouble because of me.”

“It’s okay Remus.” James said, trying to calm down the anxious werewolf, turning into a majestic stag to show him.

“We’re going to be with you on your full moons and help you.” Peter added, before changing into a small rat, squirming around to Remus’ feet.

“It’s been researched that werewolves won’t try to attack animals as much as people.” Sirius offered, turning himself into a dog, whimpering as he brushed up against the stag next to him.

Remus strolled over to me, concern welling up in his pleading eyes. “Not you too, please don’t say you’re an animagus too.”

Slightly offended, I turned myself into a delicate hummingbird and gently rested on Remus’ shoulder. He looked almost like he was about to cry. In a hushed voice, he whispered so only I could hear: “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Right then, James turned back into his person form and said, “please just let us help you. Let us be there for you, as your friend.”

“Plus,” I mentioned, becoming a person again too, “I’m working towards becoming a healer, so I can help patch you up as well afterwards.” I sent Remus a small smile.

So, it was decided. Each full moon after that, we went with Remus through his transformation, and every full moon, I fell deeper and deeper in love with him.

It was probably all the time we spent together after the full moon, only the two of us left in the shrieking shack, when the rest of the boys went to fetch Madame Pomfrey. The quiet chats we would share for the twenty minutes we had to ourselves, talking about nothing and everything, as the near exhausted Remus laid half awake, muttering a string of thank you’s under his breath.

One particular night, Remus didn't have that bad of a transformation, leaving him less bruised and battered than usual, only a few cuts across his torso and face. Insisting he didn’t need Madame Pomfrey, he trusted me in fixing him up all by myself.

“Thank you.” Remus breathed out after a few minutes of silence since the boys had left. I blushed, nothing unusual, hiding my scarlet didn’t cheeks with a dirty rag I had wiped the dirt off of him with.

“What do I always say, Rem?” I asked, carefully stroking the damp cloth across his chest, cleaning up the dried blood. “You don’t have to thank me for helping you.”

“But I want to.” Remus started, taking my hand in his, raising it up close to his face to gently kiss my knuckles. “You don’t have to be here right now. You shouldn’t have to be here right now. You look too tired to be looking after me all the time. Go to bed.”

“No. I’m here for you, because I love you and you’re my friend.” It just slipped past my lips, those three words. On the outside, it looked like just another thing I said, going back to working at the cuts across his chest. Inside, my heart was working overtime, beating faster than usual. I couldn’t believe I had just said that.

Eyes flickering upwards towards Remus, I took in the fact that he had dozed off, probably not even hearing the confession that had fallen without me trying, and I was okay with that. He looked perfect, quietly sleeping there, eyes shut, so I worked silently, patching up his cuts, placing a single kiss on his hairline as he slept.

***

The next day tradition was always visiting Remus in the hospital wing as Madame Pomfrey always insists he stays there for an extra day. After classes, the rest of the marauders and I piled into the wing to tell Remus about their days.

Today, I stayed quiet, still shocked about what I had confessed the night earlier. As the boys kept Remus occupied, I anxiously waited for when he would eventually ask to talk to me.

As the boys dispersed from the hospital wing, I felt a shaking hand grab mine, pulling me to stay. My heart was thumping out of my chest but I stayed put, sitting on the edge of Remus’ bed, looking into his perfect eyes.

“You’ve been awfully quiet.” Remus muttered, playing with my own fingers mindlessly. “Is something on your mind?”

I needed to tell him. It was the perfect time to tell him about how I felt but I couldn’t find the right words to say. Everything felt like a jumble in my head. Nothing was coming out of my throat and my brain was blank.

“I’ll tell you what,” Remus said, squeezing my hand reassuringly, “once I get out of here, we can go raid the kitchens together, like we used to, you know? And after that, we can go sit by the black lake and read one of your muggle books you always read.”

“You’re perfect, you know that, right?” I whispered under my breath, getting a soft chuckle out of Remus.

“I’m far from perfect, sweetheart.”

But I didn’t believe him. He always proved himself wrong in different aspects. Holding up to his promises, he came with me to the kitchens, telling the elves to fetch an abundance of chocolate, a love we shared between us.

Walking down to the black lake together, it was solemn but peaceful. Sounds of animals chirping and leaves rustling filled the air, a light breeze brushing past us as we walked down the path. Once we got to our favourite spot, we sat down, with Remus pulling out an old copy of Alice in Wonderland to read.

As he read aloud, I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. All I knew was that it was finally time to tell him how I felt about him. It was time to tell him that I was in love with him.

“I need to tell you something.” I abruptly said, interrupting Remus’ reading of the book. He looked up at me, humming, egging me to go on.

“You’re perfect.” I reinstated, much like I said before in the hospital wing, but instead of getting a glimpse of laughter like before, I was met by Remus’ confused eyes.

“Remus,” I sucked in a breath of air, “I’m in love with you.”

Silence. A pause. At that moment, I knew I had blown it. He stared at me, not saying a word, until he murdered something, so quietly I almost didn’t hear.

“No, here’s the thing: you’re in love with a person you’ve created in your head, that you are trying to, but cannot fix. The only thing you can fix is yourself.”

My heart stopped.

“You don’t want to love me, [Y/N], I’m a monster.”

Acting on instinct, I cupped his cheek with my hand, placing a soft kiss on his temple, that was immediately washed away by a tear that had rolled down my own cheek.

“You’re not a monster.” My voice was shaky. “And I do love you. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

And he held me closer, placing a kiss on my lips. Out of shock, I didn’t know what to do, but then, I kissed back, pulling my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. When we pulled away, I stared into his perfect eyes.

Perfect.

“I love you too, [Y/N].

#harry potter #marauders era #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x you

183 notes · View notes

lesbianinlovewithgenyasafin · 3 years

Text

OiHina fits 1989 by Taylor Swift so well

(This is specifically based on Brazil)

Welcome to New York: When Hinata gets to Brazil but mostly when he sees Oikawa again

Blank Space: their relationship like the whole Brazil fling thing “I know you heard about me, so hey let be friends, I’m dying to see how this one ends, grab your passport and my hand” and then “so it’s gonna be forever or it’s gonna go down in flames” The uncertainty of their relationship and how they kind of know it’s gonna end; they don’t have much time together.

Style: Again, this is just them. This whole song just screams OiHina to me

Out of the Woods: The bridge has their energy, but also this entire song I imagine it as them like after Hinata leaves and Oikawa’s looking back on how things ended and how he got so worried about the future of their relationship that it ruined them. This line “Like we stood a chance” and the bridge “remember when we couldn’t take the heat, I walked out said ‘I’m setting you free’ but the monsters turned out to be just trees”

All You Had To Do Was Stay: This song fits them really well, especially based on that interview Taylor did where she said that the chorus “stay” was from a dream she had where her ex showed up at her door and all she could say was that high-pitched stay. Serves the energy of like Hinata coming back and Oikawa’s reaction, or possibly just like a phone conversation

Shake it Off: They vibed hard to this during the Brazil arc I’m dead serious

I Wish You Would: “You’re thinking that I hate you now cause you still don’t know what I never said” This song is just Oikawa going to all the places they went to during their relationship and just reminiscing on their time together. But also Hinata thinking about them too like that line fits for him as well

Bad Blood: After the breakup, possibly at the Olympics when they see each other again??

Wildest Dreams: “Say you’ll remember me” “Nothing lasts forever but this is gonna take me down” “Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just in your wildest dreams” “Someday when you leave me, I hope that these memories follow you around” the song speaks for itself

How You Get the Girl: Hinata comes back or alternatively Oikawa goes to Japan like the Olympics possibly, just this is how they get back together

This Love: After their relationship ended before and they’re kind both realizing that they might have loved each other and now it HURTS but this song is also when they get back together because “this love came back to me”

I Know Places: Their time in Brazil together. The energy is just them. “You know for me, it’s always you and I know for you, it’s always me”

Clean: Them healing after they broke up. They ended things so abruptly and there was a lot of hurt

Wonderland: listen to the song I beg you “We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it, and life was never worse but never better” “I should’ve slept with one eye open at night” “we pretended it could last forever” “too in love to think straight” “didn’t you calm my fears with a Cheshire Cat smile?”

You Are In Love: Okay, to be fair I mostly connect this to UshiOi exclusively but still fits like just listen to the song it’s so good “You talk, he drives” “you can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see him with the lights out” (I probably got those lyrics wrong but it’s basically correct it’s fine)

New Romantics: Idk how this fits exactly but like their time in Brazil?? But like before anything happens like the relationship has not begun yet “the rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true” “everyday is like a battle, but every night with us is like a dream”

#this was a mess #haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #taylor swift #ts 1989 #oihina #oikawa tooru is a swiftie #hq oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x hinata #hinata x oikawa #hinata shouyou

20 notes · View notes

jazziehart · 3 years

Text

Taylor Swift Albums Reviews

Hello my lovely blog readers,

I want to thank those of you who stick around through all my crazy rants and long Glee posts. You guys are the real MVPs and I will always appreciate you.

Anyway onto why we're here, in the wake of Taylor rereleasing her albums I found it fitting to take a look back at her discorgaphy so far! Thanks to my good friend Aly, I decided to relisten to all of her albums which the order was randomly decided. I will be talking about the deluxe editions so enjoy!

Let's start off with the first album that was drawn first which was Red.

One of my favorite albums right off the bat with probably her best album cover. I remember how excited I was for 22, mostly because my girl Dianna Agron's name was in the liner notes. Let's dive into what I thought now about 9 years later!

Favorite Track: Begin Again Least Favorite Track: The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody) Bonus Track I Wish was on the main album: All of them!!! Favorite Bonus Track: The Moment I Knew Album Ranking: 6th/9

Overall I adore this album so so much. The only track I didn't care for in the least was The Last Time. I think you'll find a trend with me that my least favorite Tayor tracks tend to be her duets (the exception being Everything Has Changed which is also on this album and is the purest of all). The album has held up and even moreso I love it than the first time I listened. Crazy. Anyway onto the rankings of each song. DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions and you can disagree with them but please be respectful.

1) Begin Again 2) The Moment I Knew 3) State of Grace (Acoustic Version) 4) I Almost Do 5) Stay Stay Stay 6) All Too Well 7) Everything Has Changed (featuring Ed Sheeran) 8) 22 9) Come Back...Be Here 10) Red 11) I Knew You Were Trouble 12) The Lucky One 13) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 14) Starlight 15) Girl at Home 16) Sad Beautiful Tragic 17) State of Grace 18) Holy Ground 19) Treacherous 20) The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)

Honestly I adore this album so much as a whole and ranking every song was so hard. Holy Ground honestly had a lot of potiental I hated the arrangement but if I heard an acoustic version I would be sold, much like State of Grace which I wasn't huge on the original but the acoustic I'm obsessed with. Moving onto our second album which is one of Taylor's newest.

folklore! Funny enough on first listen I wasn't as into it as everyone else was but trust me, the relisten definitely helped me change my mind. I also heard the lakes for the first time which I loved. Since it's the only bonus track I'm going to say I definitely wished it had made the main album over some of the other songs on it. Let's dive into my thoughts and rankings.

Favorite Track: mad woman Least Favorite Track: invisible string Album Ranking: 9th/9

1) mad woman 2) the 1 3) the last great american dynasty 4) mirrorball 5) hoax 6) peace 7) seven 8) august 9) my tears richocet 10) the lakes 11) cardigan 12) betty 13) illicit affairs 14) epiphany 15) this is me trying 16) exile (featuring Bon Iver) 17) invisible string

Okay I know cardigan and betty being so low is going make people unhappy but honestly I just loved the other songs better listed above it. So many gorgeous songs and a great era for Taylor. It's not my favorite era and still falls in my lower half of her albums but I can appreciate the tracks on it more than I did before with the relisten.

Now onto Taylor's most recent album which came up next in our randomization in evermore

Unlike folklore on original listen I absolutely adored this album and had it in my top tier Taylor albums but will that opinion hold up? Let's find out.

Favorite Track: no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) Least Favorite Track: gold rush Favorite Bonus Track: it's time to go Album Ranking: 7th/9

1) no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) 2) happiness 3) champagne problems 4) willow 5) cowboy like me 6) dorothea 7) majorie 8) evermore (featuring Bon Iver) 9) closure 10) long story short 11) ‘tis the damn season 12) ivy 13) it’s time to go 14) coney island (featuring The National) 15) right where you left me 16) tolerate it 17) gold rush Okay let's talk about the relisten, it still held up but to me the one thing I didn't love about the album was the bonus tracks didn't add much to the original album so I kind of see why they were bonus tracks. I enjoyed the album none the less and I do think that most of my opinions are somewhat popular. I only see people being mad about 'tis the damn season being so low but honestly 1-11, I loved all the tracks so.

Up next is the rerelease that started it all, Fearless!

Now let's see after 13 years (hey Taylor's lucky number) if my opinion of this iconic album changed. Back in the day I was so obsessed with this album so let's see how I feel now!

Favorite Track: You're Not Sorry Least Favorite Track: The Way I Loved You Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Forever and Always (Piano Verison) and Come in with the Rain Favorite Bonus Track: Forever and Always (Piano Version) Album Ranking: 4th/9

1) You’re Not Sorry 2) White Horse 3) Love Story 4) You Belong with Me 5) Change 6) Forever and Always (Piano Version) 7) Fifteen 8) Hey Stephen 9) Come in with the Rain 10) Jump Then Fall 11) Fearless 12) Forever and Always 13) The Best Day 14) The Other Side of the Door 15) Breathe (featuring Colbie Cailaitt) 16) Untouchable 17) SuperStar 18) Tell Me Why 19) The Way I Loved You

I still remember when this album was first coming out how jazzed and excited I was for it. It was highly anticipated for me being that I had fallen in love with Taylor from her debut album and listening back it still holds up as one of my favorite albums. The only two tracks I wasn't into back then and still am not into are Tell Me Why and The Way I Loved You. Other than those two tracks the entire album is incredible to listen to. I'm so excited to hear Taylor's versions of all these songs and who knows maybe my mind will change on some of them.

Moving onto the next album to be randomly selected which is almost every Swiftie's favorite 1989.

Funny enough, originally this album isn't in my top favorites so who knows if my opinion will change on a relisten. Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Clean Least Favorite Track: I Wish You Would Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them?! Come on Taylor what's up with 1989 and Red having like some of their best tracks as bonus tracks. I'm mad haha. Favorite Bonus Track: Wonderland (gee I wonder why) Album Ranking: 5th/9

1) Clean 2) Wonderland 3) Wildest Dreams 4) This Love 5) You are in Love 6) Welcome to New York 7) Shake It Off 8) Blank Space 9) Bad Blood 10) Style 11) How You Get the Girl 12) Out of the Woods 13) New Romantics 14) I Know Places 15) All You Had to Do was Stay 16) I Wish You Would

Okay listening back. I now get the hype behind it. Listening to it with bonus tracks honestly makes all the difference. No joke. It's a much better album with the bonus tracks added. Honestly if Wonderland and You are in Love were on the main album it would've been top tier to me. Thank God for the deluxe version but team Taylor what is up with you hiding some of her best tracks and only releasing them on the bonus tracks? I'm mad. Also speaking on Wonderland, I adore the song even without the rumours of it being about my favorite celebrity Dianna Agron. Had the bonus tracks been on the main album it would higher but as a whole I love the album.

And now for our next album, which is reputation!

This is probably Taylor's most controversial albums, some love it and some hate it. I actually am somewhere in the middle. I love some of the tracks while others I could've done without. Let's see where it goes for me listening back.

Favorite Song: New Year's Day Least Favorite: Dancing with Our Hands Tied Album Ranking: 8th/9

1) New Year's Day 2) Gorgeous 3) Don’t Blame Me 4) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 5) I Did Something Bad 6) Dress 7) Delicate 8) Call It What You Want To 9) ...Ready for It? 10) Look What You Made Me Do 11) King of my Heart 12) Getaway Car 13) So It Goes... 14) End Game (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future) 15) Dancing with Our Hands Tied

Okay I feel like my choices here are controversal especially Getaway Car being pretty low on the album. Honestly I liked the song just wasn't into the hype that everyone else said about it, sorry you guys. Also Dancing with Our Hands Tied on the ALBUM is my least favorie song. I absolutely adored Taylor's acoustic version that was in the rep Tour. Had she released that on the album it would be after Look What You Made Me Do. The arrangement on the album I just didn't care for and I prefer acoustic Taylor which I think a lot of you gather from my top picks.

Anyway moving onto to our next album that was randomized which is...Taylor Swift!

Ah yes the album that started it all. 15 years ago I discovered Taylor Swift via this album thanks to CMT. I was a huge country music stan back in the day who knew how this one album would lead to a career I've been following for 15 years. Now how does this album hold up? Let's find out!

Favorite Song: Should've Said No Least Favorite Song: A Perfectly Good Heart Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Invisible and I'm Only Me When I'm with You Favorite Bonus Track: Invisible Album Ranking: 3rd/9

1) Should’ve Said No 2) Invisible 3) Cold as You 4) Picture to Burn 5) Our Song 6) The Outside 7) A Place in This World 8) Teardrops on My Guitar 9) Stay Beautiful 10) Tim McGraw 11) I’m Only Me When I’m with You 12) Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) 13) Tied Together with a Smile 14) A Perfectly Good Heart

This album still holds up 15 years later and made me so nostalgic. This had to be the hardest album for songs to rank thus far. Taylor hit it out of the park on her very first album crazy. She set the bar very high, funny enough it's the first album that a bonus track is my least favorite track but the entire album is a great listen, especially if you love country. It's very different from anything else Taylor did but that's what's so charming about it.

And now onto our second to last album which is another one of my favorites and the only album Taylor wrote fully on her own, Speak Now.

The album cover is up there with Red as my favorite and I'm excited to listen back to this album. I remember how much I enjoyed it when it was first released. Excited to see what I think 11 years later. Let's find out.

Favorite Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Least Favorite Track: Last Kiss Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them. Dang it Taylor they deserved to be on the main album. Favorite Bonus Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Album Ranking: 2nd/9

1) Haunted (Acoustic Version) 2) Long Live 3) Haunted 4) Better Than Revenge 5) Back to December (Acoustic Version) 6) Mine 7) Back to December 8) Mean 9) If This Was a Movie 10) Innocent 11) Dear John 12) Speak Now 13) Ours 14) Never Grow Up 15) The Story of Us 16) Superman 17) Enchanted 18) Sparks Fly 19) Last Kiss

One of Taylor's absolute best albms and it was incredibly hard to rank these songs. I know people are going to be mad about Enchanted being low but I just didn't love it as much as the other tracks on the album, this after all is one of the best albums she ever released so it's incredibly hard to make the call.

Moving onto our final album which I've called my absolute favorite, Lover.

It's only been an year since its release but will it hold up as my favorite album? Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Least Favorite Track: It’s Nice to Have a Friend Album Ranking: 1st/9

1) Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 2) Paper Rings 3) Lover 4) Soon You’ll Get Better (featuring The Chicks) 5) You Need to Calm Down 6) The Archer 7) The Man 8) Daylight 9) Afterglow 10) I Think He Knows 11) False God 12) Death by a Thousand Cuts 13) Cruel Summer 14) Cornelia Street 15) I Forgot That You Existed 16) ME! (featuring Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco) 17) London Boy 18) It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Yep it held up. This album is my favorite thing Taylor ever released. It was a tough call because I loved all of her top albums so much. Miss Americana still is my favorite performance which is no surprise, I was obsessed when this song came out 2 years ago. It's Nice to Have a Friend is the weakest track on the album but by no means is it a bad track. The entire album is a great listen all the way through, the only song that's hard to listen to especially if you have a sick parent "Soon You'll Get Better" I literally bawled after I finished it. So if you don't want an emotional song that might make you sad, it's best to skip it even though it's one of favorite tracks.

And that does it for us here. Hope you enjoyed my album reviews! Just to recap here's the rankings of all of Taylor's Albums:

1) Lover 2) Speak Now 3) Taylor Swift 4) Fearless 5) 1989 6) Red 7) evermore 8) reputation 9) folklore

Excited to see what's to come with the rerelease of Fearless and to hear the songs released from the vault. I've heard a few of her unreleased songs and honestly there are quite a few that I'm hoping are released. Thanks for enjoying us on this journey as always be kind and always spread love <3

22 notes · View notes

lennydaisy · 3 years

Text

SWAN SONG || The Walking Dead || CHAPTER TWO.

‘You have to trust that every friendship has no end, that a communion of saints exists among all those, living and dead, who have truly loved God and one another.

You know from experience how real this is. Those you have loved deeply and who have died live on in you, not just as memories but as real presences.’

HENRI NOUWEN

The Walking Dead.

Season 1-?

FEM OC! and ?

Hope you like it :)) and here is the link to CHAPTER ONE!

My home is nothing but radiant. It's a place that is constantly filled with smiles and laughter and sometimes the occasional tear, but no matter what we get through it because we are a family. It's filled with so many memories; like when Corey and I tried to make mom a cake for her birthday and ended up spending her birthday at the hospital because Corey somehow got a teaspoon stuck up her left nostril, or when I came home from school claiming to have a new pet. My mom thought it would have been a snail or a worm, like something normal, but no I was a bit of a weird kid and brought home a skunk. I don't know how I found it or how I managed to get it to rest peacefully in my school backpack all day, but what I do know is that we all had to spend a week at a motel whitest our house got deep cleaned.

I had my first heartbreak in this house, my room filling up with tears like that one scene from Alice in Wonderland, only difference was I was 6 years old and claimed I had already met the love of my life.

This house has blessed me with so many things. One of those things being a chance. A chance at a normal upbringing in a comfortable home. It also blessed me with 2 sisters at the age of 4 and the most amazing mother I could have ever asked for. At the end of the day, my home, 76 Baden Way, Mormont, is the one consistent happiness in my life.

That's why I'm confused.

The drive up the all too familiar street was oddly unsettling. It didn't feel right. To be fair I didn't grow up in a white picket community with neighbours that give you cookies every fortnight or invite you to their weekly barbecues in their freshly mowed lawns, but it wasn't a bad place.

Was I gone for too long, it's only been a couple of days.

The houses that once stood tall, the house that once signified homeliness, now appear to be on there last leg. The once standing, chipped fences are now nonexistent, flattened into the ground. The once curtained windows, with the occasional flower pot on the window sill, are now completely bored up, no light being shown into the what I assume darkened houses.

Normally finding parking in my street is a nightmare, it's always something for somebody. Whether it be a birthday or a family get together, there is never any space for me to park my car relatively close to my own house. Of course, I complain, it's annoying, but for some reason being able to just drive straight into my own driveway is sickening to me. Where's mom's car?

My car whistles to a stop as I cut the engine. Neither I or Cora dare to move as we look upon what we once called home. The once fully in season apple tree is now snapped basically in half, rotten apples scattered around the dying grass. As for the house itself, it's not doing so hot either, the garage door is now covered with large indents in the shapes of fists, the odd splatter of blood causing bile to gather in my mouth. The usually crystal clear windows are now dust-ridden and black with ash, unable to see what's within the once homely home.

"What it like this when you left for school this morning?" I question Cora, the unsettling feeling that our home is giving me makes my voice lose all strength.

Shaking her head timidly, "No," she replies, "Everything was normal."

'Now is as good a time as any', I thought as I reach over into the passages seat pocket, grabbing my Cloy Python. Looking my scared sister in the eye I said, "You can stay in the car if you want. I'll scoop the place out, make sure it's safe."

Shaking her head vigorously at my suggesting, gripping onto my arm, prohibiting me from leaving the car alone, "I'd feel a lot safer with you." If it wasn't for the situation I would have poked fun at her for needing her big sister but honestly, I'd feel safer with her too.

Nodding my head, I exit the car and make my way around the front of our house. With shaky legs, Cora stands as tall as she could beside me. Not knowing what we're about to walk into, I detach my baton from my belt and hand it to my timid sister. With trembling but understanding hands she clutched it tightly, white-knuckled.

Mom normal locks the door, no matter what, it's always locked. That's the first sign that somethings wrong. The front down just swung open. I keep my gun raised as I slowly step into my house, the sound of glass crunching under my combat boots, the side window had been smashed. Would explain why the doors unlocked.

"Someone else could be here, be careful, stay alert," I whisper to my sister how had barely moved an inch into our house, my baton still stuck to her right hand.

The dark wood cabinet, where all our favourite captured memories were framed, is now broken, laying on its fronts, surrounded by glass and water from the Fine China flower vase.

Bending down to flip over one of the pictures scattered on the floor, only to be met with the smiling faces of my family. We went to the Grand Canyon a few years ago, we were all so excited but we didn't check the weather. Who knew the Grand Canyon, y'know that big dry place, had flash floods, beats me, but that didn't stop out Mom from forcing us to still have a picnic on the waterlogged grass. 'It's all part of the experience' she said. If the experience was having a cold for weeks after the trip then we nailed it. I couldn't help but smile it the silly but fond memory, but I guess with the way the world is headed moments of endearment and reminiscing don't last very long.

A subtly whistle from my sister causes me to raise to my feet slowly, turning to see her pointing quietly into the family room. Standing still for a minute or so, the loud silence is broken by the soft sound of pattering feet. Signalling for my sister to stay behind me, I stalk my way into the room. Expecting to see one of those things in our living room, I flip the safety of my revolver, taking aim. As though glued to the spot, my legs for some reason forgetting how to work as my eyes settle on a figure standing, back towards us, facing the bookshelf. Not moving like any of those things from before, or making any similar noises, I come to the conclusion that's there is a person in our house. A person I don't know.

"Stay where you are and don't move," my once shaky voice now filled nothing but authority as I order the person before us to halt. Getting the picture, the person raised their hands slowly not daring to move another inch, "Who are you and why are you in my house?" I question, my aim on the back of their head never flatters.

"Ain't no need for that now little missy" their thick Geogiran accent breaking through the tense air in the room, "what happened to a little common southern hospitality?" He asks laughing clearly not taking any of this seriously.

"You broke into my house and you expect what, a welcome party. Oh wait and I'll fetch the balloons," the sarcasm rolls of my tongue like venom. The nerve of this guy.

"Correction I didn't break-in, I was pleasantly granted access," he corrects cocking his head to the side. Even though I can't see his face I already know that's there's a shit-eating grin.

"Granted access by who?" Perks up Cora, her voice not as protruding towards the figure but her point still stands.

Seeing the man nodding his head in acknowledgement, clicking his tongue in the roof of his mouth, "ah you're the sisters. The cop and the college chick," he laughed, his hands no longer held up but instead on his knees as he leans over slightly in laughter. Not understanding what's so funny, I cock my gun causing him to shot back up to attention, any signs of joking no completely evaporated into thin air.

Turning his head slightly despite my order to not move, his stubbly side profile coming into view, half a smirk lazily dancing along his face, "I take it you're the bad cop," he attempts to joke again, but it falls short, in a situation like this, one that has my moms safety on the line, is not the time to be Mr Comedian.

"Where's my mom" I rolled my eyes at the man, asking the serious question at hand. If he as much laid a single finger on her, I swear, if he thinks I'm the bad cop now, he's got another thing coming.

"Well if that's what you wanted this whole time you should have just asked little missy," he exclaims turning round to fully face us. He's a shaggy looking man, looking to be in his early 40s. His short blond hair sitting a mess on the top of his head. He has a few scars here and there and eyes that sent an uneasy shiver down my spine. His attire, clad in an old button-down shirt and a dirty wife-beater that looks to be stained with sweat from the Atlanta heat.

I already knew he was armed, spotting the gun that was tucked tightly into the back pocket of his cargo pants. Based on looks alone I already know what type of man I'm dealing with here. A stereotypical, boorish, southern redneck. Most of these men are ticking time bombs and the fact that one has found there way into my home, the place where my mother is, doesn't sit right with me.

"Come on out now Charlotte," He called out of the broken-down door, leading to the stairs, "I think it was a bird," he mutters, kicking this right leg quickly. Looking down at the ground, aside from the broken glass and wood chips, there are also feathers. Must have been the bird he was talking about.

The sound of light feet pattering down the stairs causes my ear to twitch, almost cat-like, but I don't flatter my aim on the man, "are you sure, I thought I heard-" the voice of my mother echos through the room from behind me. Mom. As subtly as possible I attempted to flip the safety back on my gun, not want to catch the attention of the man before me, but the silence fails me yet again, the soft clicking of my gun makes the man look at me, a knowing grin on his face. Cocky bastard.

"Cora, Macy," relieves mom, as she rushes over the glittering glass, skidding with friction, pulling both of us into a bone-crushing hug, "you're okay?" She asks as she separated from us, holding us at an arms distance, looking us over for signs of injury.

"Mom, Mom! We're fine," Cora reassures our panicking mother, holding her ageing face between her hands, looking her seriously in the eye, "we're okay."

Yeah, we might be but what about her.

My mom is a colourful woman. She always said 'the world is simply in black and white, but that doesn't mean we can't add our own colours'. Whether it is a bold pair of earrings or an eyesore of a scarf, she is always surrounded by colour, but not today. She clad in a shirt that appears to big for her petite frame, baggy jeans and hiking boots. No colour, just black and white, not like our mother at all. Her hair resembling that of a birds nest and her glasses sitting at a slant. She doesn't look put together.

"This is Merle," my mom waves her hand in the direction of the man whose eyes have not left mine, not so subtly looking me up and down with a look that makes me feel sick to my stomach, "He and his brother saved me from those people, brought me back here safely."

"That we did Charlotte," this Merle character near enough shouts in reply. 'What is this man so damn loud for?', "Just a bit of Southern hospitality. Something your daughter here could learn about," he says clearly not liking the fact that I still have my gun pointed in his direction.

"Macy put the gun down," the stern voice of my mother caused me to holster my gun against my thigh, but I refuse to let my guard down. I don't trust this Merle, whether he saved my mom or not, something just doesn't sit right with me.

"That's more like it girly," he says sounding assertive as if he has just won. It pretty clear that the man has some military experience. I can feel it in the air. The way he thinks he can control the room and the people in it, "My baby brother should be back soon, but I say we meet him halfway."

Is this some kind of joke?

"Look thanks for help our mom," I eventually cave into thanking the man, "But no way in hell are we going anywhere with you."

"Now I think your mommy over there would disagree with that?"

I turn to look at my mother who has a reluctant look in her eye, but not at the sketchy man in our living room, but at me. Is she really thinking about leaving with this man? Everything about him screams red flags and that's not just because I'm a cop but from just general observation. This is the type of man you would not want to meet alone at night.

"He and his brother have plans to head for Fort Benning," My mom starts slowly, clearly trying to find the right words, "I thought we could go with them."

I'm already shaking my head as my mom is speaking and I can hear her breath getting quicker and quicker, panicking, "Please," she begs, her voice cracking as I notice the tears building up in her eyes, "Please Macy, I want us to be safe."

Safe.

With the way things are going, I don't know how much longer we can be safe. I’ve always seen my home as the safest place on earth. It's where I live. It's where I grew up. My whole life started here in this very house, surrounded by people that I love. I always swore to protect my family. I didn't know what I would have to protect them from but seems as though the time has come to prove this more than ever.

"Ah, now Macy, baby," Merle begins to taunt, starting to walk closer but stops when he sees my hand rest on my gun again, "What kind of daughter would you be to deny your mom of safety."

"Why don't you just stay the fuck out of this?" I snapped at the man how held his hands up in defence and walked over to our couch bending down to pick up the rifle that I failed to notice resting on the table.

"Macy," I hear Cora whisper from behind me and when I turn to look at her the look in her eye tells it all. She's scared.

She's scared.

Mom's scared.

I'm scared.

"Where's this brother of yours?" I sigh turning to face Merle who is looking out of the window, his eyes darting from left to right.

"Away hunting," he shrugs, "should be back in an hour or two, but we're losing light. I say we meet him halfway."

For some reason, my mom just agrees with this and turns to Cora, telling her to pack a bag for her and me. My mom wonders off to wait outside, but I stay put. I don't trust this man, and I sure as hell don't trust him wandering around my house where both my mom and sister are. I stand my ground and clear my throat causing merle to turn in my direction, "Try anything, and I won't hesitate to put one between your eyes."

"I'd like to see you try," he lets out a burly laugh before pushing his way past me and out of the front door.

'What have I gotten myself into?' I thought as the sound of a car door slamming shut snaps me from my own world.

Call it wishful thinking, I already knew the answers to the question that was spinning around in my head. She wasn't back, and she was never going to come back. But there was no harm in checking. Right?

Bare. Empty. Any trance of anybody living in this room had been completely erased. It's hard to believe two people I held so dearly to my heart lived here. The once painted black walls which were covered with the typical posters of any rebellious teenager are now newly painted white, hiding all the scratches or chips that were previously there. I kind of glad about the change of walls, in my opinion, once you reach the age of 30 it's maybe time to let go of your rebellion.

All that is left is a set of drawers, a double mattress on the floor with no covers and a small single mattress on the other side of the room. Moving over to the dust-ridden drawers, I pulled open the first one and to no avail, it's completely empty. What was I expecting? She's been gone for years and she was never coming back. Especially not now.

It might sound dumb but every night after she left, I would leave her bedroom light on hoping that it would encourage her to come back home. But she never did. Mom eventually got annoyed about finding me asleep outside of Ally's bedroom door every night and had to have a word with me. Sure I stopped leaving a light on for her, but that didn't mean that I missed her any less.

Without Ally being around I had to step up and fill in the gap that she had left in our family. Ally was always the hardass. The tough one. If you were in a fight you'd want Ally in your corner. Despite anything that she says, she did love her family at one point. She was always on our side. In our corner.

Then one moment that all changed. We had a new addition to the family.

Little DeeDee.

DeeDee, my sweet little niece. Such a sweet kid, not a bad bone in her body. It's almost hard to believe that she's my sister's daughter. What they lacked in a shared personality they make up for in identical looks, they look the spits of each other, a true carbon copy.

When my sister found out she was pregnant she ran away. Telling not a soul why. Except for me.

I found out on my own, we have always told her to clean up after her self or something might happen. Well hi, I'm that something. She never kept me updated through the duration of her pregnancy, not like I expected her too, she just up and left. Until DeeDee turned 3. It's only been a year since she came home and she's was more disconnected than ever, especially with mom.

The rattle of an all too familiar engine interrupts my conversation with mom. Giving each other a knowing look with flickers of uncertainty as though maybe we heard wrong.

We didn't hear wrong.

The pounding of her heavy-duty boots slapping against the hardwood floor, echoing through the entire house. The house was so silent you could probably hear a pin drop.

Mom went to 'greet' her first, myself in tail, just in case this all goes south which it most likely will. We haven't seen or even heard from her for well over 3 years now, it got to the point where we all just assumed that she was never coming back. It explains the shock towards her arrival. Well, half of her arrival.

"Ally... your home," mom squeaks out unable to hide the overwhelming shock in her voice. It's awkward, so awkward that it makes me want to itch. The passing eye contact between one another speaks more than their unspoken words.

The reunion of a mother and her absent daughter.

The shock must have gotten to mom's head because she failed to notice the new soul in the room with us. A person we have never had the pleasure to meet. Standing behind her mother, not tall enough to reach her hip yet, is a little girl. All wrapped in a cosy jacket despite the Atlanta heat is the reason why I haven't seen my sister in 3 years.

Moving forward to where Ally can fully see me, making brief eye contact before kneeling down before the little girl. Hands tugging tightly on her mother's leg as she hides her face from mine. It's understandable, I'm an unknown face, so I decided to introduce myself, "Hello," I said gentle, just looking at the innocent girl softly not wanting to overstep my boundaries, "I'm Macy."

I'm oblivious to my surroundings, so much so that I didn't hear the stampede of feet rocketing down the stairs. The only thing I'm focusing on is this little girl. She just looks at me in what I'm assuming is confusion because she's never seen me before and I her. It's new for all of us.

"What's your name?"

I honestly didn't expect an answer, she looked like such a delicate flower, but a genuine smile covered my face when she said "Lydia" in the quietest voice I've ever heard.

"Nice to meet you, Lydia," I say as I reached my hand forward for her to take in her own, and she did. Slowly but surely her hand was in mine, her tiny hand. Smiling softly at Lydia hoping to have her mirror my actions, she does, but it's short-lived as I'm sucked back into the reality that is the rest of my family.

"So you run off, get knocked up and have the audacity to come back here 3 years later begging for a place to stay," laughed Cora at the mentality of her older sister. I can't help but shake my head as I let go of Lydia's hand, her smile falling behind my back, "Cora, she had a kid," I said to my sister hoping to get her to understand, but it seems as though I don't understand either.

"Oh no the kid can stay, but her," she laughed at the thought, "no chance, not again," shaking her head at the idea of us welcoming Ally back into our home, into our family again. Cora is strong-minded, no doubt about it, but when it comes to her family, if anyone stands in between them and happiness, even if it's our family themselves, they best hope they don't cross Cora.

Cora and Ally have never gotten along. I've always blamed it on the fact that they are too much alike. Cora may be extremely vocal about everything, but Ally is too, just minus the vocal part. You can tell a lot about Ally and how she's feeling just by looking at her. And right now she looks vulnerable. She has a child and I don't know where she has been staying for the last few years but right now she's homeless and what type of family would we be if we shunned out our own.

A terrible one that's what.

"Corrina, if she wants to stay she can stay. If she wants to go she can go. This is just as much her home as it is yours," mom ushered out all in one breath, still baffled that her daughter and newly found granddaughter are standing before her.

I really feel for our mother, ever since Ally vanished she hasn't been the same. It was a drastic change, not enough for the people she sees on her daily shop, but us, her family have noticed that a little light behind our mother's eyes has been duller than usual. Looking at her right now, the light is still flickering but instead with hope. Hope at a new beginning with her daughter and her granddaughter.

"If you ever leave my mother like that again, after everything she has done for us, especially you, it'll be the last thing you do," threatens Cora, never breaking her eyes from Ally who is doing the same.

Coming back to her senses, Ally snaps out of the trance that is Cora's eyes, clicking her fingers like a royal pain in the ass, "Lydia, come," she orders the little girl as she readies herself for the March up the stairs.

Noticing that her mother is no longer standing in front of her, hiding her from the picture that is her family, she rushes to her mother not before looking at me though and I can't help but feel bad, "Lydia if you want you can stay down here, I can make you something to eat," I said trying my best to convince the little girl that she doesn't have to do everything her mother says, but little Lydia shakes her head in rejection.

Maybe it's because she genuinely just wants to stay with her mom in a foreign place or it could be that her mom is staring at her, as though waiting for Lydia to make the wrong choice. P.S I'm the wrong choice in this situation, according to her.

Stomping her away up the stairs like an angry teenager, she leaves her daughter behind assuming that she will just follow her like a helpless puppy. Unable to hide my pity for the little girl, I attempt to cheer her up a bit, "see you soon DeeDee," I promised as a subtle smile appeared on the 3-year-olds face before running after her mother's tail.

The hallway is left in silence, not an awkward silence but just a thoughtful one. The same thoughts and feelings are running through all our minds; Ally's back, with a child. She was bad enough on her own, but now with a daughter, I fear not only for us but for that little girl.

Rubbing my eyes, as the only thought that is running through my mind behind 'this is not my fault', 'there was nothing I could have done to make her stay', no matter what, if she left for a reason or not, I just hope she keeps DeeDee safe because God knows she never done that when she was here anyway.

Just as I had enough of the energy to leave he room, a pile of papers tucked under Ally's mattress caught my attention. Behind down to pull them out, I'm shocked at what she had hidden. It as a collection of loose picture. My curiosity getting the better of me, I start to flick through them, she not here to tell me otherwise.

There are ones from her senior year of high school and her only 2 friends, who I've only had the pleasure of meeting once. On was called Barrett from what I remember, I don't remember the other name, all I know is that the unknown friend mysteriously disappeared a few years after they left high school.

The rest of the picture where weird but oddly boring, snaps of her smoking and drinking, kicking a few gravestones, y'know typical Ally behaviour. It's the last picture that struck me, made my blood run cold but in a comforting way. It's a picture of Ally and I for that time I shaved my head. I briefly remember mom taking it after me begging for hours, trying to convince her and Ally that this was a moment the was worth capturing.

There I stood, tall and proud, both hands on my head with a cheeky grin plastering on my beetroot face, my eyes holding a sheen of water from laughing. It's a contrasting picture. Ally slouched beside me, well a wingspan away from me, because I'm was an embarrassment to her. Her eyes deadly staring into the camera, making no effort to show any emotion.

I remember being disappointed with her lack of effort in the picture, but looking at it now it's perfect. It really shows how we were and are. I always wondered where this picture went. Mom got it reluctantly developed for me and even framed it for my bedside table. I only had it for a few days before it went missing. At first, I blamed mom, believe she wanted to erase the memory from her brain, but all this time Ally had it, and that oddly warms my heart. Sure it was hidden under her bed, but she still had it and kept it. Now I'm deciding to take it back because if the world continues the way it going, I don't know when the next time I'll see my sister will be.

"Do you think we'll ever see her again?" the sudden voice breaking through the air causing me to jump, and I spin around to find Cora leaning on the door frame, looking around the room in wonder just as I had moments before.

"If you asked me a week ago I would have said yes," I replied looking down at the picture in my hand before folding it and putting it into my back pocket, "Now I don't know."

The thought of Ally coming home was always a distant one. I wanted to believe that the day would come where she would be back and our family would be whole again. That was when the world was normal and even then she still showed no signs of ever coming back.

It seems to me as though the world as we know it is changing, coming to an end if you will. The though of Ally coming home was a longshot before but now more than ever.

A redneck just apparently saved my mom life for crying out loud and now I'm having to drive with said redneck to find his brother.

The worlds went mad.

It's changed and I don't know if I like it.

But it seems like I have no choice.

And thats chapter two done. Its going to be an interesting ride thats for sure.

You got to learn some more about Ally and we also met the lovely man that it Merle Dixon.

If you want to be tagged when I post for this AU just ask and I will for sure do that.

But anyways, yeah, I hope you liked it.

DAISY.

27 notes · View notes

sayonarasanity · 3 years

Text

Reverberation

Summary: Levi’s grey eyes watched her seriously, and with caution. He was giving her all his attention, focused on the words that were about to leave her mouth. Hanji thought that was the actual reason why they were so close. Because when no one cared to hear a word from her Levi listened to her telling stories of gods and goddesses, heroes and villains, ancient people and ancient folks, tales of love and tales of hatred. When no one bothered seeing her colours, Levi sat down in front of her and let her paint everything she ever wanted.

Chapters: 2/?

link to AO3

link to second chapter

In short a Levihan Childhood Friends AU in which I plan to enjoy using quotes from Shakespeare a lot if I make it that far that is.

The boy sits on top of the rooftop.

Hanji wonders why she is so fascinated by the view of a boy about her age. All he does is watching above and there is not even a token of emotion written on his face. He looks like he is reading a book in which he is not a bit interested, yet the mere fact that he is holding pages in his palms is enough for him.

She hasn’t seen anyone who has spared just a few minutes of their precious time to watch the sky, through her eleven years of a lifetime that is. Just like she hasn’t seen anyone going crazy when they find out that there was a frog in Indonesia which had no lungs, so it breathed entirely through its skin. Oh, it was so very exciting and bewitching and she had barely slept dreaming about it. Hanji would die to see that frog. She had begged her parents for about a week for them to take her to Indonesia. Mommy, mommy, please! I want to go there. I need to see that frog. It is breathing through its skin mom. How fascinating is that? Hanji, darling you know you can’t. You have school. I don’t have school in the summer! But Indonesia is so far away honey. It on the other side of the world. Oh, oh! That’s even better. I want to go to the other side of the world! Mommy please, please!

Too bad her efforts had given no fruit. She hasn’t given up on her dream yet, though. She just had to postpone it for a little while.

She approaches the boy cautiously. Because maybe this is his area and it is her first time here, so she doesn’t want to be seen as an invader. She had been walking around the town aimlessly when she came across this abandoned building. Its construction is uncompleted, there are no windows and doors, and the orange bricks on the walls are uncovered, free of paint. Hanji knew that sneaking into a hollow, and a relatively eery building was sort of perilous, but it was also thrilling. It had made her feel like she was a member of the Paul Street Boys. Although the setting was kind of distinct and she was alone. But it had never stopped her from discovering. And when she had climbed the concrete, grey stairs she had found the mystery boy here.

There is the not-quite-unfortunate fact that she cannot get along well with boys. They are rude, and filthy and egoistic. They walk around like they are the reincarnations of Achilles like no one is good enough for them. They are no sons of gods or goddesses. How pathetic. But she senses that there is something different with this one. Because he watches the sky, and the stars stare down at him. Hanji feels like she is observing a painting or reading Percy Jackson for the first time. It causes her nerves to stand, her insides to shake and she knows she cannot hold herself back. A step away from the rabbit hole, she imagines and feels like this is Wonderland and she is fool but also curious enough to fall down.

“Hi!” She twitters suddenly.

The boy doesn’t seem surprised or taken aback at hearing someone talking to him out of the blue. Maybe he had already known that Hanji was here. It only makes him more intriguing and Hanji hardly stops herself from bouncing on her feet. For a moment he observes her. His eyes are the colour of the moon, argent but they also have a touch of blue. Not too light but not too dark either. Closer to the sky when the night just begins to settle down. More like it is right now.

“Hey,” he says, dryly.

No rejection. That’s a good start.

“May I sit?”

The boy merely shrugs then turns his gaze back at the sky. Hanji takes it as a positive reaction and sits down next to him, carefully putting some distance away between herself and the boy. She opts to watch the view spread out before her first. This is a partially remote area of the town. The buildings are disorderly, and the streets do not seem fairly clean. Hanji wants to travel her hand on top of the buildings to feel the ups and downs of the rooftops on her palm. The image makes her giggle to herself. Ah, how nice it would be, wouldn’t it? Too bad it was impossible.

She feels the boy giving her a side glance, but he makes no remarks.

“Are you counting the stars?” She asks as she tilts her head back to watch them. There aren’t so many yet, but it would be hard to keep track of the numbers.

“No,” he replies. Curt and clear. He is not the one to talk, is he? Hanji muses inside.

“My grandmother used to say that it would make calluses to appear on your skin. Have you heard about it as well? I think it is a superstition though—”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” the boy interrupts. That is the first time he has used more than a word! Success. Good for you, Hanji. She pats her shoulder in her head proudly.

Hanji opens her mouth to respond but he beats her to it. “You can’t count infinity,” he says. “It is a waste of time.”

Hanji inhales.

At this point, she is so near the edge to burst with her bubbling excitement that she is sure he feels it too. Her head spins as she stares at his side profile. He makes her feel like she is on a carousel. Everything about him makes her dizzy as if he is one of those books on her father’s library which she cannot reach and cannot understand even if she does. He doesn’t look at her. He has an undercut, she notices, dark hair moving in harmony with the wind. His attire is clean, neat and tidy. His face has the smooth lines of a child but there is a lining of maturity underneath them. And the way he holds himself, upright but also at ease. Nothing about him is fake, superficial or ordinary.

“What’s your name?” She asks as a grin spreads on her lips uncontrollably.

He moves his sharp eyes to her at last and he travels his gaze around her face. It is so hard to read anything from his features. Like looking at the blurry surface of a mirror and trying to figure out the lines of the face in it. And she fears that he won’t answer. Was he annoyed with her? But she hasn’t even reached the peak of her usual talkativeness, yet.

“It’s Levi.”

She nearly gasps for she had been very close to convincing herself that the boy had disliked her very much. Levi. It is a nice name, and it suits his personality somehow. Despite the fact that she had only known him for what? Five minutes? Maybe even less than that. But Hanji can tell.

“I’m Hanji,” she says her name back even though he hasn’t asked. Slowly put one Lego on top of it the other. Bring them all together and there, you have a castle. “Say, Levi, would you like to learn more about the sky?”

The boy doesn’t answer with words. He looks back above and shrugs.

But that’s more than enough for her.

now

Hanji’s phone rings in the middle of an important meeting.

Frankly, it is not that big of a problem. It happens to everyone every now and then. And her phone doesn’t even ring with a melody, it merely vibrates on the wooden table. Though it does make a hell of a lot of noise. Yet, the only way to overcome the situation is to simply reach out and silence it in a cold-blooded way, like nothing ever happened. That she does, without a nuisance.

The actual problem here is the name on the screen of her phone, and the fact that her hand was trembling as she pressed the button. Suddenly the air becomes too heavy, too hot and the room too narrow to fit inside. She distinctively feels Mr Jaeger’s piercing gaze from across the table. It is always hard to hide subtle changes of behaviour from a man as sharp as him. But Hanji is a professional and there is no way she can allow a slight disturbance to avoid her from focusing on her job. She imagines herself flicking her fingers aggressively as if to wake herself up from a deep slumber like she is buried deep in thick fog. Concentrate.

The blurry whiteness disappears gradually, her vision becomes clear and the deadlock in her ears leaves. But the name remains on her screen even after the ringing stops and she has to grip her pen tight enough to make the shivers go away.

The next time her phone rings there are several minutes to her lunch break. She shifts her attention from her computer screen to the phone and she just stares at the name, as if she looks long enough the letters will change or they will disappear, or she will wake up from this dreary sleep.

None of those happens, the machine keeps ringing on her desk, her heart slams against her ribcage, and her hands tremble yet again as she types numbers on her keyboard.

The vibrations cease after a while, but the cramps in her stomach don’t.

During her lunch break, Hanji goes out to the terrace for some fresh air. It is early spring; the weather is not quite cold but it’s somewhat chilly. The wind which blows occasionally disperses her hair as she leans her elbows on the railing. The terrace is high up on the building. She can easily watch the white, mushy clouds on the smooth, blue sky. Whether it is funny or tragic she cannot decide, that after all those years whenever she looks up at the sky, she still thinks about him.

“Yo, Hanji.” Zeke Jeager comes to stand next to her putting a cigarette on his mouth and using his Zippo to light it.

“Good afternoon, Mr Jeager,” Hanji greets, smiling in return as the man takes a deep breath from his smoke. His dark, yellow hair is untidy with the wind, and his glasses reflect the midday sun.

“Just call me Zeke when we are alone,” he says and shakes the ashes of the cigarette with his index finger causing them to fall from the railing. “I hate formalities.”

“But you are my very superior,” Hanji replies with amusement.

The corners of the man’s lips curl upwards when he takes another breath from his smoke. “I don’t care. You are almost as smart as me if not more.” He sends her a playful stare as he blows the smoke and Hanji laughs, but the act makes her stomach curl onto itself. Cheerfulness is the last thing she feels at the moment.

“You seem a little bit… different,” Zeke comments, just like Hanji predicted. Nothing escapes him. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Hanji lies easily. She doesn’t feel like talking about it. She doesn’t even feel like thinking about it. It makes her uneasy, and it fills her with apprehension and distress whenever the name on the phone screen comes before her eyes. She shakes her head. She needs to convince herself first. “It’s nothing.”

“Hmm,” Zeke mutters thoughtfully. He doesn’t believe her and it’s not like she expected him to. “I mean, I won’t say no if you ever need a drink,” he shrugs, and the gest reminds her of him so much that she feels a gulp shaping in her throat.

“Are you possibly flirting with me?” Hanji asks playfully, with a need to distract her mind from the wide field of dreary thoughts and memories.

“I don’t know. Is it working?” Zeke plays along and Hanji laughs again, this time more genuinely. “But I’m your very superior, so I guess not.”

“Yeah,” she says, her smile still evident on her lips. “Don’t take it personally.”

Zeke shakes his head as he puts the smoke between his lips again. He has a nice profile. A fine line of a bearded jaw, sharp cheekbones, soft-looking, bushy hair, pretty nose and a pair of nice lips. Eyes are a light blue mixed with green. A complete opposite, Hanji notices.

“Whatever it is,” Zeke continues after blowing out the white smoke. “It’s obvious that it affects you but don’t let it affect your work.”

“Of course,” Hanji nods.

“Hanji!” A female voice cuts in their conversation. Hanji turns around to see it’s Pieck. She waves at her from the door. “What are you doing here? Let’s go have lunch!”

“Yo, Pieck-chan,” Zeke waves at her cheerfully, grinning wide as they both walk up to where she is. “How are you?”

“Hungry,” Pieck replies, then turns to Hanji. “Come on. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Sorry,” Hanji apologizes. They always have lunch together with Pieck, but with her mind a muddle of emotions she had forgotten all about it.

“See you later then ladies,” Zeke, bids them goodbye and leaves then they both start to walk in the direction of the cafeteria.

“Is he bothering you?” Pieck asks as soon as Zeke is out of their hearing zone. “I can talk to him if he does. He is not as tough as he looks, and I have the material in my hand to sabotage him.”

Hanji laughs heartily for the first time that day. Pieck and Zeke are old friends, and she uses it every chance she gets. “There is no need for that. We were just talking but thank you.”

“Talking about what?” Hanji feels Pieck observing her face, looking for a hint. “Did he also realize that your mood is kind of sour today?”

Hanji’s smile freezes on her face. She hadn’t been as subtle as she thought she had as it seems. She opens her mouth to object, to array excuses like I’m just tired or couldn’t sleep well and change the subject.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Pieck assures, bumping her shoulder lightly to hers. “It’s just unusual to see you like this.”

“Right,” Hanji adjusts her glasses and pushes herself for a slight movement on her lips. Upwards. “There is nothing to worry about.”

Her dark eyes travel around her face, searching Hanji’s gaze and she tries hard not to look away. Pieck is suspicious and Hanji knows she is not quite convinced when she says, “Okay.” But she doesn’t press upon the matter either. “I’ll be here if you want to talk about it.”

“I know,” Hanji smiles, genuinely this time. “Thank you, Pieck.”

Hanji watches her reflection in the mirror and sees the reason why everyone could tell that she had been in low spirits today.

“This shouldn’t have affected me that much,” she mutters and splashes cold, icy water on her face. Her glasses rest next to the sink, the hair on the side of her face and the tips of her forehead gets wet. Her soul feels heavy to carry, her heart uneasy and her stomach like it’s wrapped with thousands of sharp thorns.

Inside her head, there is an earthquake. It rumbles, rocks and causes the old shelves stuffed with dusty memories to be dishevelled all around. Yellow paged books lie open on the ground. It has been so long since she had let herself read a word from them. Now they force her to read the tale from the very beginning. And it doesn’t help that she already knows them all by heart.

“The temperature at the sun’s core is about 27 million degrees Fahrenheit,” she whispers, gripping the edge of the cold, white marble.

“The Moon’s distance from Earth is about 240.000 miles.

The globular cluster NGC 6397 is almost as old as the universe itself.

Mercury is the fastest planet,” she continues with quick whispers. “Daytime Temperatures can reach 439 degrees Celsius and drop to -180 degrees Celsius at night.

Ceres takes 1.682 Earth days, or 4.6 Earth years, to make one trip around the sun.

Mars is the fourth planet from the Sun at an average distance of about 228 million km or 1.52 AU.”

Hanji closes her eyes and imagines the space. Infinite, black and yet aglow with suns, stars and moons—galaxies, clusters and planets.

The worn pages of the books rustle in her head. A distraction, a nuisance that came out of nowhere. Why? She thinks for the nth time that day. Why is he calling me now? After all those years, why now?

“This cannot be ill, cannot be good” she murmurs.

Then laughs to herself. Quoting Shakespeare again? he belittles her in her mind.

She shakes her head as if to erase his ghost from her mind. “Cannot be good,” she repeats. But she has never run for no reason, she has never let life win over without girding herself with arms. She has never been coward enough to hide.

It might be nothing. Maybe a simple call for a quick hello. Five minutes of conversation would do her no harm. It might be nothing, but it might be something too. There is only one way to figure it out.

She straightens, puts on her glasses and adjusts her clothes. Blinks her eyes a few times until she makes sure they are not blank as an empty, grey wall. Until the fire inside that is close to dying out, flare up again. After that, she lifts her hands to either side of her face and slaps her cheeks, “Okay,” she says, nodding at herself in the mirror.

Then turns around on her heels and walks out of the door.

He calls again when she is out of work and waiting for a bus at the stop.

She is tranquil, somehow, as she looks at the screen. Maybe it’s because she has made her mind earlier today that if he is to call again, she would answer this time. And she does.

“Hey,” she greets.

“Hey, Hanji.” His voice is rough and coarse. It sounds older than she has last heard him. “What’s up?”

“I’m fine,” Hanji swings a leg absentmindedly. “How about you, Kenny?”

“’m fine too,” Kenny replies. She tries to imagine him with long, dark hair and a smug grin on his face. Although the years had rubbed out the picture of the man she has known it is easier than she had expected.

“Sorry, I couldn’t answer earlier,” Hanji says, half-lie, half-sincere. “I was busy at work.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, kid,” Kenny slides over and Hanji smiles slightly at the way he calls her. “I thought you’d be busy. But, eh, you see… I had to… call you,” he sighs. “Didn’t know who else to call.”

“Why?” She starts to feel the thorns again. Her body tenses involuntarily. A car sweeps by scattering her hair and clothes. “What’s wrong? Is he—"

Kenny sighs again and she hears his breath tremble. Above, the stars are hidden behind the grey, mobile clouds. The moon is a thin crescent. Strangers pass by, a bus stops, takes a few passengers and carries on. A breeze blows and the leaves rustle.

And Hanji feels like she is eleven again, watching the stars with a boy she barely knows.

You can’t count infinity, he had said. It is a waste of time.

They are no longer there.

“Kuchel,” Kenny begins. Cannot be good, Hanji thinks again and closes her eyes as he goes on with the dreadful news she had so feared to hear. “She is dead.”

The girl has stardust in her eyes.

Her hair is messy, and her clothes are dirty with mud and dust. She wears round glasses and when she smiles, he sees one of her upper teeth is slightly twisted.

And she reminds him of the first time he had seen a shooting star.

Do you want to learn more about the sky? The girl asks. Does he? He had never thought about it. He merely likes the experience of watching it while sitting or lying on his back with his arms under his head and a leg over the other in this abandoned, derelict building. It eases his mind when he is overwhelmed with school or family or friends or humans in general. He had most liked the fact that he had been alone all this time which was the actual purpose of this place anyway.

But the girl has stardust in her eyes, and she is like that shooting star, and she holds the moon in her hands.

If she reminds him that much of the sky maybe she would make him feel like he is watching it too, he thinks as he looks back above and shrugs.

Cannot be ill.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

15 notes · View notes

hayscodings · 3 years

Note

Riverparents + songs from 1989

mary: this love // tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new, and i could go on and on, on and on

fred: new romantics // we are too busy dancing, to get knocked off our feet, baby, we're the new romantics, the best people in life are free

alice: all you had to do was stay // here you are now, calling me up, but i don't know what to say, i've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made

hal: i wish you would // i wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for, i wish you knew that i miss you too much to be mad anymore

hermione: style // you've got that long hair slick back, white t-shirt, and i got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

hiram: bad blood // did you think we'd be fine?, still got scars on my back from your knife, so don't think it's in the past, these kind of wounds they last and they last

penelope: blank space // but you'll come back each time you leave, 'cause, darling, i'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

clifford: wonderland // you search the world for something else, to make you feel like what we had, and in the end, in wonderland, we both went mad

gladys: out of the woods // remember when we couldn't take the heat?, i walked out, i said "i'm setting you free"

fp: clean // ten months sober, i must admit, just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it, ten months older i won't give in, now that i'm clean i'm never gonna risk it

sierra: you are in love // you two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round, and he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown, and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

tom: i know places // baby, i know places we won't be found, and they'll be, chasing their tails tryin' to track us down

#mary andrews #fred andrews #alice cooper #hal cooper #hermione lodge #hiram lodge #penelope blossom #clifford blossom #gladys jones #fp jones #sierra mccoy #tom keller #riverparents #riverdale headcanons #riverparents lyrics

15 notes · View notes

my-unruly-heart · 4 years

Text

i'm holding on tight to you

welcome to wonderland

masterpost

tags: @radcowboyalmondtree @annabanana2401 @babeebobo

Turns out it wasn't the right time for the next week either. As the number of days since the initial blow up grew, so did the tension between Anne and Cathy. Anne spent most of the time locked in her attic room while Cathy stayed in her own room writing. The two queens spent as little time together as possible, which would prove to be a larger problem in the following days.

While Jane attempted to help both girls Catherine grew more anxious. Cathy was her goddaughter and she had always felt a sense of responsibility for the girl. Anne had been her lady in waiting for years before she had been divorced and she loved the girl to death despite how much she got on Catherine’s nerves.

While the tension in the house grew, another issue arose; Katherine seemed to be avoiding Cathy at all costs. At first, it seemed to be out of loyalty to her cousin but as time went on her subtle attempts to put space between herself and Cathy, turned to the girl frantically trying to hide behind the closest person to her when Cathy entered the room.

After nine days of watching her family splinter, Catherine had had enough.

~~~~~~

“Cathy, we need to talk.”

Cathy turned around to see María de Salinas and Catherine standing just behind her. Cathy tensed for a moment before noticing their relaxed body language and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Cathy nodded her head before turning to open her door and lead the two women into her bedroom. Cathy’s cheeks flushed red slightly as she noticed the mess on her floor, the entire room was covered in balled-up scraps of paper that were obviously supposed to be in the overflowing garbage bin that sat in the corner.

Though Jane was known as being the mum friend for the girls Catherine and Cathy had formed a familial bond very quickly. As such Catherine felt it important that she look after her namesake at all times.

The three women sat on Cathy’s bed, all lost in thought for a moment before Catherine pulled the sixth queen into a loving embrace. Cathy relaxed slightly, focusing on the soft thumping of her godmother’s heart and the calming smell of her lavender perfume. Soon Maria spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Times were different back then and we were all different people. There was a power imbalance between genders and when people get caught up in emotions they forget to look at the facts.”

Cathy looked up slightly and Maria almost thought the girl looked a bit like a lost puppy as she tilted her head to the side. Catherine brushed a hand through the girl’s curly hair as she nodded in agreement with her life long best friend. They needed to make it clear that they weren’t mad at her for what happened with Elizabeth all those years ago.

“Anne knows that too, she’s just hurting right now. I think she’s madder at herself than she is at you.”

Cathy nodded her headed, pursing her lips as she mulled over their words in her head. “I loved her, you know? I would have done anything for her and yet I let her into the home of a monster. I let him take advantage of her and I was so blinded by love I didn’t even realize it was happening.”

“Even the smartest of people make mistakes.”

The three women looked up at the doorway to see Anne standing there, the choker she always wore around her neck was gone, leaving the obviously agitated scar in the open for all to see, her hair was thrown into a messy bun, and the bags under her eyes were prominent, but she still held a slight smile on her face and a familiar spark in her eyes; Something that had been missing in the days beforehand. Anne moved forward sitting on the edge of the bed quickly examining Cathy, the girl was curled up in a ball between Catherine and Maria and she looked so small and fragile, Anne smiled as she shook her head.

“You and I were similar, both too smart for our own goods. I know you saw what happened to Kit when people found out what had happened to her and had seen how angry the men around me got when I started to talk back to Henry. I know you very nearly suffered the same fate as us. I also know you never meant for Elizabeth to be put in that position.”

“How do you know that? How do you know that I’m not just a bad person?”

“Because I know you, Cathy."

Cathy nodded as tears welled up in her eyes, she pulled Anne into a hug, repeating different apologies over and over. Anne just held her closer, finally letting the tears fall. The two girls stayed like that for a while, not noticing as Maria and Catherine left the room. Cathy laughed slightly as the two pulled apart.

“I’m not ready to forgive you fully, I don’t know if I ever will,” Cathy looked down at her lap, picking at her nails as she nodded slightly. Anne takes a breath before she continues. “But I’m ready to start. We’re a family and families fight and then they make up. No matter what.”

Cathy gave Anne a watery smile before they heard a loud voice from the door, “About bloody time isn’t it?” The two girls laughed at Anna’s blunt nature before motioning the rest of the queens and ladies in waiting to enter the room. Aragon quickly grabbed the remote for Cathy’s tv before sitting next to her goddaughter.

Anne turned to Cathy and laughed for a moment, “Est-ce qu’ils pensent vraiment qu’on va tous rentrer dans ce lit ?” Cathy shook her head and laughed,

“En les connaissant, ils trouveront un moyen.” Both girls laughed as the movie began to play.

~~~~~~

Cathy took the bedroom on the ground floor when they all moved in together, knowing her own sleeping habits and ability to think logically even when sleep-deprived would most likely shine through when the other girls were upset. This left Cathy on the night shift, she always made sure to be aware of any signs of distress throughout the night, she was always the first to get to Kit when she needed it, the one to make Jane or Catherine a cup of tea or talk some sense into Anna. Cathy also began to notice patterns in behaviour over the time the queens had lived together, yet the one pattern that may just have been the most disturbing was the one queen Cathy never thought needed comfort, Anne Boleyn.

It was late Saturday night (or maybe early Sunday morning, Cathy couldn’t tell anymore) when a piercing scream rang through the house, Cathy immediately jumped to her feet and ran up the stairs, fully expecting to find Kit having another nightmare. Yet to her surprise she found everyone standing in the hall, everyone that is, except for Anne. The five women rushed up to the attic bedroom in hopes of helping their friend.

Anne was still in her bed, clearly still in some form of unconsciousness and scratching fiercely at her neck. The sight of the blood dripping down her cousin’s neck sent Katherine out of the room immediately, mumbling about feeling sick, which sent Anna after the teen. Aragon went to get some towels and a first aid kit while Jane and Cathy spoke to the girl, attempting to wake her up or at the very least lessen her distress. Yet the thrashing and assault on her neck only seemed to get worse so Cathy did the only thing she could think to do; Cathy jumped onto the bed quickly, pinning Anne’s arms down and straddling the girl. She knew it would make Anne uncomfortable when she woke up and Cathy couldn’t stop thinking about Thomas and Elizabeth, but she pushed those thoughts aside.

The door flung open again as Aragon entered the room, the women immediately ran over to the side of the bed attempting to help Jane wake the girl. It took what felt like an eternity but Anne eventually woke with a quiet gasp. Cathy got off the girl quickly moving to hold Anne against her chest, hoping the sound of Cathy’s stable heartbeat would help calm the distraught girl. Cathy held her there as Jane and Catherine cleaned the blood from Anne’s neck, and she held the girl tighter as they applied disinfectant and bandages.

Soon the storm seemed to have passed as all six queens sat on Anne’s bed, a comfortable silence surrounding them. Cathy sat at the opposite side of the bed to Anne, her head resting on her Godmother’s stomach. A few jokes were made to lighten the mood softly but that was it. The queens cherished these quiet moments together, being able to leave their busy lives at the door and just be together for a few moments. That is until Anne’s phone started buzzing,

“So as much as I love and appreciate this you guys, we have a job to get to”

Anne pushed forward, falling onto her stomach, leaving her stretched across the whole bed. Katherine let out a small giggle at her cousin’s antics, pushing herself off the bed to get ready. The others all followed suit, so half an hour and plenty of complaints later the six queens were piled into the car on the way to the theatre.

“Anns! Annie! I need new clothes and there’s a big sale at the mall!”

Jane turned around from her spot in the passenger seat and smiled at Katherine’s bouncing around. The girl had really come into herself over the past few months, sometimes she was just as mischievous as Anne but they would take it over the scared little girl she used to be any day.

“We’ll all go to the mall after our first performance today Kit, how about that?”

Katherine bounced excitedly while she talked with Anne as they pulled into their parking spot. The queens all piled out of the car and began to walk up to the theatre.

“I call shotgun on the way to the mall”

Anne sprinted ahead, Katherine and Anna not far behind, leaving the three remaining queens giggling at the girls’ sudden bursts of energy.

Translations:

Est-ce qu’ils pensent vraiment qu’on va tous rentrer dans ce lit ? - Do they really think we’re all going to get (fit) into this bed?

En les connaissant, ils trouveront un moyen - Knowing them, they’ll find a way

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six fanfic #my writing💫

13 notes · View notes

rosesisupposes · 4 years

Note

Fic Title: 1989 -C.C.

This is a GREAT time to share my crack idea that actually 1989 is a long way of telling us that the singer died in a car crash and is a ghost now. so this is gonna be not sanders sides it’s just gonna be a rant

Blank Space: “So it's gonna be forever/Or it's gonna go down in flames” ... “It'll leave you breathless/Or with a nasty scar” --> a risk was taking and an injury could result! and in the music video, she attacks the car with a club (and we see her riding horses in the ‘happy’ part, not driving)

Style: the STRONGEST support - starts right off with “Midnight/You come and pick me up, no headlights/Long drive/Could end in burning flames or paradise” --> here’s the exact risk, right here! driving without headlights! Later, she tells us that “He can't keep his wild eyes on the road”, as she continuously asks in the chorus for him to “take me home” as opposed to staying on the dangerous road!

Out of the Woods: “Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?/Twenty stitches in a hospital room” - more detail of the actual accident, and the constant fear using the doctors’ terms of “out of the woods”/”in the clear” for a full recovery - if she keeps saying “good”, then why does she have to keep asking?

All You Had to Do Was Stay: “The more I think about it now/The less I know/All I know is that you drove us/Off the road” --> the accident sent them off the road and gave her memory loss, she’s not quite sure what happened as she looks back; “I've been picking up the pieces/Of the mess you made” --> she blames him for the crash (probably rightly so) but has had to gather herself back up from it

Shake It Off: “But I keep cruisin'/Can't stop, won't stop groovin'” --> admitting that she was buying into the same mentality of speeding without stopping, maybe under the impression that she’d be able to shake off any injury

I Wish You Would: Once again, starting off with car references “It's 2AM in your car/Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start” --> memories, maybe, of the time he didn’t use headlights to pick her up, in Style. And she wishes, over and over, that time could rewind, that they could make different choices

Bad Blood: the first inklings of the true result of the crash - “These kinds of wounds they last and they last/Now, did you think it all through?/All these things will catch up to you/And time can heal, but this won't” --> her injuries aren’t recoverable, but fatal, and of course there’s the obvious introduction of blood

Wildest Dreams: oh look, another reference to cars! “He said, "Let's get out of this town/Drive out of this city, away from the crowds"/I thought, "Heaven can't help me now"/...But this is gonna take me down” --> she has a feeling of foreboding, looking at this car ride, knowing that it’ll be her last! And the chorus, asking him to promise “Say you'll remember me/Standing in a nice dress/Staring at the sunset, babe” --> remember her looking nice, not as the car wreck, because he’ll never see her again. “You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night/Burnin' it down” - he’ll keep looking back at this crash and it will haunt him, knowing that she died in the crash he caused

This Love: “This love is good, this love is bad/This love is alive back from the dead" --> talking about herself, speaking to her love from beyond! “Your kiss, my cheek/I watched you leave/Your smile, my ghost/I fell to my knees” --> she had to watch him leave the wreck while she stayed, a ghost, wishing she was still alive to follow him

I Know Places: “Baby, I know places we won't be found/And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down/'Cause I know places we can hide” --> more detail on how they ended up in a car together, speeding away in the middle of the night: on the run, trying to hide, which would explain why they’d risk not using headlights

Clean: “You're still all over me/Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore” - i like to think the stain isn’t wine, but that she didn’t want to be too graphic; “The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud/But no one heard a thing” --> maybe they crashed off the road into water, but by the time she was drowning, she was already a ghost and no one could hear

Wonderland: “Flashing lights, and we/Took a wrong turn, and we/Fell down a rabbit hole” --> flashing lights (maybe of the paparazzi chasing them from I Know Places) and another reference to steering wrong and falling; the whole idea of getting lost in wonderland and the denial of it describing their denial about the risks they were taking!!!!

You Are In Love: “'Cause you can hear it in the silence/You can feel it on the way home/You can see it with the lights out” - they were on their way home with the lights out when they crashed, and then all became silence. But she still loves him, and knows he loves her

New Romantics: “We wait for trains that just aren't coming” - she had to resort to cars instead; “We're so young, but we're on the road to ruin” - once again, the road metaphor for the road leading to the car crash; “We're all here, the lights and noise are blinding/We hang back, it's all in the timing” - the lights and noise again, the blinding that led to the crash, which was all an issue of timing (remember when you hit the brakes too soon?)

ahhhh that was fun, i had fun with this.

ask bait: send me a made-up fic title and I’ll tell you what I’d write to go along with it

#this blog is a tswift stan again #1989 #roses writes fanfic #CRACK FIC #tay the bae #ccanon #car crash #death mention #violence mention #blood mention

4 notes · View notes