#not directly related to conversion discussion

[seresinhangmanjake]

His and Yours

Summary: When you're told your pregnancy could cost you your life, Feyd demands you do whatever necessary to keep yourself alive. When you decide to have the baby anyway, it creates a rift in your relationship. Only when you go into labor, does Feyd show himself for who he really is.

Warnings/ Notes: Very angsty, but ends on a happy note. Very sensitive topics about pregnancy, abortion, and conversations about potential death. It’s Feyd here people, and we can imagine how he’d be with sensitive topics. Please only read if you understand this. Requested by @tgmreader

**While it is not necessary to read my other work to read this fic, this works also as another part to my "His" series. However, (even though it ends on a happy note) if this content makes you uncomfortable, it is not necessary to read in order to understand any future parts in the series. I know people love them together and that this is a difficult issue, so do not feel obligated.**

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

Words: 2950

“Feyd…” you sigh as you watch him pace back and forth. He doesn’t so much as acknowledge you until you attempt to get up from your seat to go to him.

With an outstretched arm and a finger pointed directly at you, he says in a harsh tone—harsher than you’ve heard in a long time, “Don’t you move a fucking inch!”

You plop back into your seat. “We have to talk about this.”

“No!” he snaps. He descends upon you with rushed stomps, his hands gripping the armrests of your chair. You have to tilt your head back to meet his fiery gaze. “There will be no talking about this,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “No discussion. No negotiations. No weighing the pros and cons.” You swallow as a tear builds in the corner of your eye. Feyd groans and pushes away from the chair. “Stop crying.”

“What do you expect from me?”

“To not die!” he shouts, his voice echoing through the vast, empty room. “I expect my wife to do whatever she has to in order to keep me happy! That’s your job!”

You glance down. Your hand runs over the slightly bulbous shape of your stomach. A tear creates a dark patch on the fabric of your dress. A dress he picked out for you. He’d been so enthusiastic about every element related to your pregnancy, including dressing his wife in new gowns as you grew with the passing months. This is one of the first he’d chosen. 

“I thought my job was to provide you with an heir,” you say.

“Not at the cost of your life!”

He had almost missed the appointment for more professional matters. Now you wish he had. When the doctor told you that you might not survive giving birth, he gave you a choice: risk having the child anyway or drink a tonic that will terminate your pregnancy while it’s still safe. You knew Feyd’s mind was made up in that very moment. But yours wasn’t. This is your child, a perfect combination of you and the only man you’ve ever loved, and yet, your questioning of what is best has your husband looking at you like you’ve lost your damn mind; like you’re a fool with a knack for selfishness.

“I’m the na-Baron,” he says. “You’re under my authority. I decide for the both of us.”

You shake your head. “That’s not fair.”

“I don’t care if it’s fair! We can make a hundred heirs, but there isn’t another you!” he screams. You wonder if the rest of the Harkonnen fortress hears—the soldiers, the servants. You wonder if they fear for their lives because of an outburst that has nothing to do with them. They should. Your husband is likely to go on a rampage throughout the place the moment this conversation ends, should it ever.

When you shrivel in your chair, a crease dents the center of his brow. Feyd returns to you, his warm palms cupping your cheeks, his forehead resting against yours. “You can’t ask me to let you do this,” he says with a subtle whimper. “I won’t ever forgive you.”

“What about my forgiveness of you?”

Feyd jerks back. The pain in his eyes shrinks under darkness. “You have nothing to forgive me for.”

Finally, you stand. “You want me to give up our baby,” you argue. “You don’t think I deserve to–”

“No!” You jump. “I care about you! I love you! Not some thing that wants to take you away from me!”

“Feyd–”

“I refuse to continue this conversation,” he says. “I’ve made the decision. It’s done.”

—

He’d tried everything. He had meal preparers mix it in with your usual dinner drink until the nasty sludge color disappeared. He attempted to have your maidservants slip it into your morning tea, your evening glass of warm milk, and, even more desperately, into your bathwater. However, the only servants close enough to you that he could demand such a task from became primarily loyal to you after your marriage six months prior, and as a result, each one informed you of his plans. Five servants fell to your husband's blade before he surrendered that tactic to attempt anew. But with his final effort, what died between you was nothing other than what had been keeping you together—affection. 

With your feelings numb, there was little foundation for your relationship to stand upon. When he took you and made you his concubine, Feyd kept you safe. He did the physical work to protect you in a newly twisted relationship while you did all of the emotional work. You broke down the walls he’d built, got him to open up, showed him that caring for you wouldn’t be the end of the world. Convincing you to get rid of your baby was the hardest he’d ever emotionally worked for you, and since failure was not a thing he had known, nothing was going to stop him. 

He didn’t understand that kissing you with the tonic filling his mouth was too far, even for what he’d already done. He didn’t understand that he had already lost so much of your trust with his deceit and that that kiss was enough to scorch the rest of it. You might have left him had you not been able to wash the substance from your mouth before it could do its damage. 

When you first turned him away, he threw his fits. He screamed at you and for you every day until you made it clear you weren’t coming to him, but even then, he didn’t allow you to neglect the expectations he had for you. In front of others, you were to act as his wife—stand by his side, attend meetings in silence, kiss him goodbye before his trips to Arrakis—but the larger your belly grew, the less he was willing to have you near. 

You don’t sleep in the same bed now. You don’t take your meals together or bathe together or, frankly, see one another. He looks the other way when he crosses your path. His fists clench like he wants to touch you, his Adam’s apple bobs like he’s holding back from kissing you, but his eyes refuse to meet yours, and he won’t go near you. 

You know he's preparing himself to lose his wife. Anger, while present, hasn’t been the dominant fuel for his behavior for a while, and neither is it yours. You were furious, but with your baby due in a month, you struggle to bear the loneliness, and the longer he continues to treat you like you’re a plague, the more you miss him, and the more you fear for your child. Who will love it if you are not here? Who will protect it and teach it and nourish it? Certainly not the one who should and once promised he would. And as the days close in, you wonder if he was right. If you made a mistake. 

—

I need him—that’s all you can think as your baby fights to leave your body. You need your husband here, and the reasons are far too overwhelming, but you can’t focus on anything else. You miss him. You can’t do this alone. And if you die today, you have to say goodbye. You have to tell him you love him and make him swear to protect your child, or it was all for nothing. 

“I need him,” you screech through your teeth with the contraction that hits you.

“My Lady–” one of the nurses begins. Her voice is shaky, worried eyes flicking back and forth between yours and the doctor between your legs who has just reached for another clean rag after discarding a blood-soaked one. “My Lady, the na-Baron–”

“I don’t care! I need him!”

He must’ve been there, listening, because Feyd’s through the door in an instant, and as his eyes lock on to yours, everything else—all the pain and lies—is shoved behind you. He takes a step forward but pauses, momentarily distracted by the wear on your body, before he blinks and continues forward, shoving people aside to get to you. He falls to his knees by your bed and when your hand reaches out, he clutches it tightly in both of his. Too tightly. You can feel your pulse throbbing harder from the pressure on your veins, but you don’t care. 

“Feyd, I–”

“Don’t do this to me,” he mutters as tears well in his eyes. The first you’ve ever seen. He didn’t so much as shed a tear on your wedding day or when you told him you were pregnant, but as the first one falls down his cheek, you realize he’s about to make up for every missed opportunity. 

You can’t respond. You don’t have it in you to tell him that you won’t do anything to him, that you won’t hurt him, that you’ll be fine, and that you’ll be a family. You’re too exhausted to lie. He seems to know it because he doesn’t make the request again. Instead, he kisses your fingers over and over, repeating words of love that are not often said. 

“My Lady, I know it hurts, but if you can shift downwards a bit,” the doctor starts. “At this angle, we might be able to–”

Feyd wipes his eyes and shoots to his feet. “You can save her?”

“There might be a better chance.”

You groan as you maneuver your body. Feyd does what he can to assist, but it doesn’t ease the searing, stabbing feeling at your core. 

“That’s better,” the doctor praises. 

“She’s your priority,” Feyd says sternly.

You gasp. “N-No…”

Your husband’s head whips back to you. “I’m not watching you die,” he growls. 

“For…our baby,” you say to Feyd’s hardened features. You cry harder for the pain of realizing that out of you and your baby, he would still choose you. You don’t know why you expected any different. In the five minutes of his presence, he gave no indication of a change of heart, but it’s disappointing all the same. “P-Please.”

The doctor doesn’t look up from the task at hand but listens for further instruction. “My Lord?”

Feyd stares at you for a long while, his expression unchanged. He doesn’t squeeze your hand or kiss your forehead or brush away the damp hair from your forehead with your next contraction. He doesn’t flinch at your joining shriek. He’s gone, lost in the world of his thoughts until he decides to come back. His eyes close. He grinds his back teeth. His brow pinches and he shakes his head.

“The baby,” Feyd struggles to get out. He pauses before he says, “And then my wife.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

The next half-hour is white-hot, blinding agony. You can no longer move—a statue as the doctor slices pieces of you open to accommodate your child’s position. He doesn’t want to come out. He doesn’t want to leave his mother. You can’t blame him. If you had the same fate awaiting you upon joining the world, you might not rush to leave the confines of comfort either. He has no reason to separate himself from everything he’s known to fall into the hands of a man who does not love him. But his unwillingness to leave you is what will eventually take you from him. 

You can feel it. The draining. Of blood. Of life. Your energy is long gone and at this point, you can’t imagine lasting long enough to be saved, even if you survive just in time to hear your baby’s first cry. 

“We’re almost there,” the doctor says. His words are hazy as your brain drifts, struggling to keep you conscious. But then you feel a release of pressure, a missing weight. Emptiness. Solitude.

“Save my wife!” you hear in the aftermath, but you’re not worried about that. You need to know he’s ok and perfect and that he has all of his fingers and toes. You need to know if he has a dusting of hair on his head, or if he’s like your husband. Does he more resemble his father? Complexion and eyes and lips poutier than yours? You need to know these things about your son. 

But you suppose you never will. Your vision is too blurry to make out his tiny form, but among Feyd’s shouts, you hear a beautiful little wail as your eyelids flutter closed. And that’s enough. 

—

The last thing you heard upon your death is the first thing you hear when you wake. And it terrifies you. Surely, you should not be hearing that sound. If you can hear him, then he’s with you, and he can’t be with you because you’re not here. Not really. You don’t exist on the plane he should be existing on. You exist in darkness now, and he was only ever meant to see the light. That’s what you saved him for. That’s what you used every remaining ounce of your will and soul and heart to do. You left so he could stay. So how could he be with you?

“Can you hear him?” 

Yes. You cannot see him, but you can hear him. He sounds so much like you remember. His coos are not the wails, but the noises are brothers. You part your lips to call his name only to realize you never got the chance to give him one. 

“He’s perfect,” the voice says. “Everything about him.” A tear trickles down your cheek. “I need you to meet him. He wants to see his mother.”

You want to see him, too, so badly, and as you feel the desire, a flash of light shoots across your vision. One flash, and then another. Another flash, and then one more. Brightness obscures every image as your eyes shift, attempting to take in your surroundings. You’re not sure this is better. In the darkness, you can rest. This is simply torturous, and your baby is not even here. 

Heat from a heavy, shaky sigh hits your skin. Relief. Lips land on yours for a long beat before finding your forehead. A skull presses to your skull. The breath is taken from your lungs by another kiss. A droplet splashes onto your cheek. 

“You don’t ever do this to us again.” When your vision adjusts, your husband is there. “Do you understand me?”

You nod before you can think not to, before you can think that Feyd is not meant to be here, either. But if he is here, then why does he look so happy? Would he really rather the three of you be gone forever than to raise your baby without you? You scold your idiocy. Of course, he would. 

“You were out for three days,” he says. “Longest three days of my life.”

Out. Not dead. Not gone. 

Feyd helps you sit up. He disappears and then returns with a bundle of fabric. “Look,” he says, smiling, sniffling, and then smiling again. Two of his fingers gently nudge a section of the blanket aside to reveal a tiny face. Tiny nose, tiny lips, tiny eyes. Lashes that rest on tiny cheeks. A much smaller spitting image of your husband. “He’s got your eyes, I promise,” Feyd says, and your son proves it when his eyelids flutter open. 

“Do you think you’ve got the strength to hold him?”

You nod again. “Y-Yes,” you say, like it’s your first word. 

Feyd uncurls his arms from the baby and settles him into your awaiting ones. He’s lighter than you expected—probably to do with coming a little early—but the weight of him snaps the bits of you that were lagging behind in the unconscious world to the present. You gasp.

You’re alive. Your baby is alive. Your husband is here. They’re both beautiful. “I’m alive.”

Feyd sits back down in the chair that is pulled up to the side of your bed. He swallows. “Yes. Barely, for a moment, but…yes.”

You cuddle your baby to your chest and run your finger down his nose. He’s softer than the blanket that snuggles him. Soft like you rather than his father. He’ll grow strong like the man you can’t help loving, but he’ll have more heart, and that balance will make him a great Baron one day. A great man. 

“Do you hate me?” Feyd asks. “For what I did?”

Your head hurts and you still feel groggy, but you’re aware enough to know that you don’t hate him. You can’t hate him. It shocks you that he doesn’t know that, but then again, he’d never done anything like what he did before, and if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t know that he wouldn’t do it again should you fall pregnant with another child. You don’t trust him right now, and there’s only one thing that could ever convince you to attempt repairing that trust. 

“Do you love him?” you say as you gently rock your baby. 

Feyd glances down at your son. There’s no contemplation. “More than anything.”

“You’ll protect him?”

His eyes flick back up to yours. “With my life,” he says. And you believe him. 

You became a mother the second you felt that little life growing inside of you, but you can accept that upon looking at your son, spending time with him, your husband learned to become a father. Had you died, you don’t know what would have happened, but you can’t dwell on that and hope to keep your family together at the same time. He loves the child you made together, and that’s all you ever wanted. 

“Then, no,” you tell him. “I don’t hate you.”

[metamatar]

ngl I do feel like there is a deep and difficult to bridge chasm between those of us who have lost our faiths, struggled and permanently changed relationships w communities and family and those that seek to acquire that very same faith. I feel like a small, but very present moral obligation to dissuade someone when they talk about going to find faith, to warn them esp but I know its too personal and too tangled up with my own experience to be the right thing to do but I still feel the urge.

[mylight-png]

A while ago I was listening to Dara Horn's podcast relating to her book, People Love Dead Jews. Within this podcast she discussed the fact that Holocaust museums tend to center stories that highlight ways in which Jews were just like anyone else, putting secular Jews on a pedestal of sorts.

The podcast went on to make the point that we shouldn't have to be like them to be liked. A Jew in a kippah is just as worthy of being accepted as a Jew in a baseball cap, and to position one, the more assimilated one, as "better" is antisemitic.

This made me think of how movies and shows portray Jews, and I realized a similar pattern of idealizing assimilation is deeply prevalent.

There are two main ways Jews are portrayed in movies/shows that I've noticed that are problematic. (For a narrower scope I'll be discussing American media as I am more familiar with that than most other countries.)

The first kind of Jewish representation is the token Jew. This is the character that the viewer wouldn't even have known is Jewish had the show not casually mentioned them celebrating Hanukkah in passing. This is the character who is entirely the same as any other character. An example of this would be in Ginny and Georgia, where a few side characters are revealed to be Jewish. This reveal occurred only for the purpose of making a Hanukkah episode, and immediately one of the characters says the beginning words to most of our prayers, adding "bitch" at the end. This sort of absolutely blatant disrespect towards the words many of us wouldn't even speak fully in casual conversation is meant to indicate that it's okay to poke fun at our religion. (By the way, it isn't okay. Don't disrespect our religion, thanks.) (And no the actress wasn't Jewish.)

Then there's Ben Gross from Never Have I Ever, a similarly extremely assimilated Jewish character. Instead of making fun of Judaism, however, the show plays into Jewish stereotypes. Ben's dad is a wealthy influential lawyer who works with Hollywood. Come on, there's three in a row there. Ben himself is frequently made fun of for being very short (to an extent not befitting the actor's actual stature), and some of his mannerisms could be described as effeminate. All of these traits play into anti-Jewish stereotypes. The protagonist even says she wishes Ben was killed by Nazis and other than a scolding this isn't made to be the big deal that it is.

These sorts of characters are meant to show how Jews are "just like you!" and pokes cruel fun at the few remaining things that do occasionally set them apart. Yes, secular Jews exist, but the way these shows make fun of their Jewish identities is where the issue arises.

The second problematic representation is meant to make goyim feel good about being goyim. This is specifically done through how Judaism is portrayed in these movies.

A major example of this is the show Unorthodox, in which the plot centers a young girl trying to escape her very observant community. This show directly demonized the Jewish religion, making it appear inherently oppressive and twisted.

While some may argue that the show was merely trying to portray the social issues within the community, there are better ways to achieve this.

The book An Unorthodox Match takes on a similar task with a vastly different tone. The book centers a protagonist joining an equally observant community, but not for a moment does the book, author, or protagonist blame Judaism. The book is very clearly written by a Jew who loves Judaism, and yet it manages to highlight similar social issues to the show without blaming Judaism. In fact, Jewish traditions have a fair share of appreciation in the book!

This sort of media is meant to make the goyishe viewers be grateful they aren't part of those communities, but as a Jewish viewer I felt deeply uncomfortable with the positioning of religious Jews as a negative part of society. This media makes the characters seem like they have nothing at all in common with the goyim around them or the goyim watching the show. It's the polar opposite of the previous example.

The first example is showing Jews as "just like anyone else" until they aren't, while the second example portrays Jews as entirely other. Never have I seen an Orthodox Jewish character side by side with the non-Jewish characters in any other context than the Jewish character envying their non-Jewish peers.

Why is the choice either to be assimilated or othered? Why can we not have an observant Jewish character remind their friends that they can't hang out on Saturday, or maybe they bring their own kosher snacks? Maybe a Jewish character muttering a bracha over their food? Why not make being Jewish an important part of their character without making them self-loathe because of it?

Media almost only ever shows two extremes and neither of those extremes has a positive impact on the perception of Jews.

(There is also a pattern I've noticed with Jews and goyim being cast in Jewish roles and how that corresponds to the character, but that's probably another post for another time.)

[tarotwithavi]

Mercury in the houses

Mercury in astrology represents communication, intellect, and the way we process information.

For entertainment purposes only!

Mercury in the 1st House

People with Mercury in the first house are usually chatty and outgoing. They express themselves readily and might come across as talkative or even a bit animated. They've got quick minds and love to engage in intellectual conversations. They often have a witty and clever way with words.With Mercury in the first house, they make a strong first impression. They're articulate and can be quite persuasive when they want to be. These folks are curious by nature. They're interested in a wide range of topics and are always eager to learn something new. Communication plays a big role in their lives. They're good at conveying their ideas clearly and might even excel in fields like writing, public speaking, or journalism. Sometimes, they can't turn off their racing thoughts. Their minds are always buzzing with ideas and plans, which can make it challenging to relax.They're not afraid to speak their minds and often have their own unique perspective on things. They value their independence in thought. Their appearance often reflects their communication style. They might have a sharp, well-groomed look that complements their articulate way of speaking.They can be influential in their social circles because they know how to communicate effectively. Others often turn to them for advice or guidance. They adapt their communication style to different situations and people. They can be serious and professional when needed or fun and lighthearted in social settings.Their active minds can sometimes lead to restlessness. They might have a hard time sitting still for too long or focusing on one thing for extended periods. Their natural ability to communicate and lead can make them excellent leaders in various fields. They're not afraid to take charge and make things happen.

Mercury in 2nd house

These folks often think a lot about money, possessions, and their personal values. They may have a strong desire to acquire and manage material resources. Their communication tends to be practical and focused on tangible matters. They're good at discussing financial plans, budgeting, and investments. They place a high value on their words and might be careful about what they say, especially when it comes to money matters. They believe that clear communication can lead to financial success. Mercury in the 2nd house individuals are usually financially savvy. They can analyse financial situations well and may have a knack for making money through communication-related skills, like sales or negotiation. They're resourceful thinkers who can come up with innovative ways to manage their finances and assets. They're not afraid to explore different options. They might have a strong attachment to their material possessions. The idea of security and stability is closely linked to their belongings.Their ability to communicate effectively can directly impact their financial situation. Good negotiation skills can lead to better deals and financial gains. Many of them highly value education and may invest in it as a means to increase their earning potential. Lifelong learning is a theme for them. They can be sensitive to criticism about their financial choices or values. Negative comments in this area might hit them harder than in other areas of life. In relationships, they may have possessive tendencies, particularly when it comes to shared resources. This can lead to conflicts if not managed well. They often have strong opinions about what they consider valuable, and they're not easily swayed by others' ideas. They trust their judgement when it comes to money matters.Money and how they manage it can tie into their sense of self-worth. Achieving financial stability can be closely connected to their self-esteem.

Mercury in 3th house

They're naturally talkative and love to engage in conversations. Whether it's with family, friends, or strangers, they're always up for a chat.Their curiosity knows no bounds. They're eager to learn and explore new things, and they often have a wide range of interests. The 3rd house is associated with siblings, so these individuals might have close and communicative relationships with their brothers and sisters. They enjoy sharing ideas and stories with them. They're keen on exploring their local neighbourhood or community. You'll often find them knowing all the ins and outs of their town or city. Mercury in the 3rd house folks thrive in social settings. They're skilled at networking, making connections, and maintaining friendships.They have a sharp mind and can think on their feet. This makes them great problem-solvers and adaptable in various situations. They might excel in various forms of communication, from writing to speaking to using technology. They're comfortable with words in all their forms.These individuals might frequently take short trips, whether for work or leisure. They enjoy the change of scenery and the opportunity to meet new people.Learning never stops for them. They're often taking courses, reading books, or engaging in activities that expand their knowledge.While they're great communicators, they might sometimes struggle with being too scattered or overloading themselves with too much information. They have a knack for explaining things clearly, which can make them excellent teachers or mentors. They can break down complex topics into understandable bits. On the downside, they might be drawn into gossip or spreading rumours if they're not mindful of their words. They should be cautious about what they say and to whom.

Mercury in 4th house

These individuals often think and communicate in a way that's closely tied to their family and home environment. Family matters, traditions, and memories play a significant role in their thought process. They are natural caregivers and nurturers. When they speak, it's often with a sense of warmth and care. They excel in making others feel comfortable and understood. Emotional bonds with family members are a big deal for them. They may have deep, sentimental attachments to their childhood home or the place they grew up. People with Mercury in the 4th house often prefer staying at home or within their comfort zone. They might enjoy activities like cooking, decorating, or simply relaxing in their familiar surroundings. They have a sentimental streak, treasuring mementos and keepsakes that remind them of cherished moments from the past. Old photos and family heirlooms hold special meaning. Traditional values and customs are important to them. They might enjoy participating in family traditions and passing them down to the next generation. This placement can also indicate strong communication with parents, especially the mother. They may rely on their parents' advice or be in frequent contact with them. Privacy is a big deal. They might be selective about who they let into their inner circle and value a safe and secure home environment. Mercury in the 4th house folks enjoy reminiscing about the past. They often engage in conversations about their childhood, family history, and shared memories. Some of them might be interested in real estate or home-related businesses. They have a knack for understanding what makes a house feel like a home. Education might also be closely tied to the home environment. They could be homeschooled, or they find it easier to study and learn when they're in a comfortable, private space. Creating and preserving happy memories with loved ones is a top priority. They might go to great lengths to ensure family gatherings and events are special and memorable.

Mercury in 5th house

These folks are born with a flair for creativity and self-expression. They often use their words to entertain and captivate others, making them great storytellers, writers, or performers. They approach life with a playful and youthful intellect. They might enjoy games, hobbies, or activities that stimulate their mind and bring out their inner child. The 5th house is associated with love affairs and romance, so these individuals tend to communicate their feelings in a romantic and charming way. They're the type to write love letters or plan elaborate dates to impress their partners. When they're in love, they're not shy about expressing it. They might be the ones to shout their feelings from the rooftops or shower their partners with affectionate words. Drama and theatrics often play a part in their communication style. They can be a bit dramatic at times, whether it's for effect or because they genuinely feel things deeply. They approach new ideas and projects with childlike enthusiasm. This can make them passionate and excited learners and creators. The 5th house also relates to taking risks, so they might not be afraid to speak their mind, even if it means pushing boundaries or challenging the status quo. Many of them have a strong affinity for the arts, whether it's painting, acting, dancing, or any form of artistic expression. They find joy in creative outlets. They often make great teachers because they infuse fun and creativity into their lessons. Learning from them can be an enjoyable experience. They have a natural charm and flirtatiousness in their communication, which can be both entertaining and enticing. Since the 5th house is associated with recognition, they may have a deep desire for their ideas and talents to be acknowledged and appreciated by others. They value leisure time and often use it to engage in playful activities, whether it's going to amusement parks, enjoying a night out, or simply having fun with friends.

Mercury in 6th house

These individuals pay meticulous attention to details. They thrive on organising information and often excel in jobs or tasks that require precision and accuracy. They take their work seriously. These folks may have a tendency to become workaholics, dedicating a lot of mental energy to their job or daily responsibilities. Mercury in the 6th house people are excellent problem solvers. They have a knack for figuring out practical solutions to everyday issues and can troubleshoot effectively. Their communication style at work is clear and efficient. They prefer straightforward and practical conversations, making them great in roles that involve instruction or management.This placement often makes individuals health-conscious. They pay attention to diet, exercise, and overall well-being, as maintaining good health is a priority for them.They thrive on routines and schedules. They like to plan their days meticulously and might get flustered when unexpected disruptions occur.The 6th house is associated with service, so these individuals often find fulfilment in helping others or working in service-oriented professions such as healthcare, teaching, or customer service.They analyse situations thoroughly before making decisions. While this trait can be useful, it can also lead to overthinking or hesitation at times. They have a perfectionist streak and may struggle with feeling that nothing is ever quite good enough. This can be a source of stress for them. They excel at tasks that require repetition or attention to detail, like data entry, research, or quality control. Their communication style at home might be more practical and focused on daily chores and responsibilities. They prefer to keep their home life organised. They can be prone to worrying about their health, work, and daily responsibilities. Learning to manage anxiety is essential for their well-being.

Mercury in 7th house

These folks have a gift for gab when it comes to one-on-one interactions. They're smooth talkers who can charm the socks off almost anyone. The 7th house is all about partnerships, and with Mercury here, communication is central to their relationships. They thrive on intellectual connections with their partners.nThey're drawn to partners who stimulate their minds. They want someone they can have deep conversations with, and they won't settle for superficial connections. They tend to be open to different viewpoints and are willing to listen and learn from their partners. This open-mindedness can make them great collaborators.Mercury in the 7th house people have a knack for negotiation and compromise. They can smooth out conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone involved. When tensions arise in their relationships, they're skilled at using words to defuse the situation. They avoid harsh confrontations and opt for diplomatic language.They often have an extensive network of friends and acquaintances. They enjoy socialising and making new connections, which can benefit their partnerships. Their relationships tend to start with a strong mental connection. They need to have intellectually stimulating conversations to feel connected on a deeper level. They may have idealistic expectations when it comes to love and partnerships. They believe in the power of communication to overcome any obstacles. Sometimes, they can come across as flirtatious even when they don't intend to. Their natural charm can be misinterpreted by others.They may attract partners who are talkative or involved in communication-related fields like writing, journalism, or public speaking. Balancing their own needs and desires with those of their partners can be a lifelong lesson. They might struggle with being overly accommodating at times.

Mercury in 8th house

These folks tend to have deep, intense thoughts. They're drawn to topics like psychology, the mysteries of life, and anything that delves beneath the surface. Mercury in the 8th house people can be quite secretive in their communication. They may not readily share their thoughts and feelings with just anyone; trust needs to be established first. They have a natural curiosity for uncovering hidden truths. Whether it's researching a mystery or diving into complex subjects, they love to dig deep. These individuals excel at research and uncovering information. They're like natural detectives when it comes to finding answers or solving puzzles.When they do speak, their words can carry a lot of weight. They have a knack for getting to the heart of matters and can be very persuasive when they want to be. Many with Mercury in the 8th house have an interest in the occult, astrology, or other esoteric subjects. They're drawn to the mystical and hidden aspects of life. Their intuition is often spot-on. They can sense things on a deeper level and might have premonitions or gut feelings that guide them. They're not afraid to tackle intense and transformative conversations. They can help others confront their fears and heal through communication. Privacy is a big deal for them. They may value their own privacy fiercely and respect the privacy of others.They have a complex and sometimes mysterious way of thinking. They're not satisfied with surface-level explanations and are always seeking the deeper meaning. In financial or business matters, they often have an interest in shared resources, joint ventures, or investments. They're good at managing other people's money too. They can have a talent for understanding the depths of the human psyche, making them great therapists, counsellors, or researchers in psychology-related fields.

Mercury in 9th house

These folks have a natural curiosity and love for exploring new ideas, cultures, and philosophies. They're like mental adventurers, always seeking knowledge and expanding their horizons.They often engage in deep, philosophical conversations. You might find them pondering the meaning of life, the universe, and everything in between over a cup of coffee. Mercury in the 9th house individuals are open-minded and accepting of different beliefs and perspectives. They're not quick to judge and are willing to hear diverse viewpoints. They have a way with words. Their communication style is often eloquent and persuasive, which makes them great debaters and storytellers. These folks have a strong case of wanderlust. They might love to travel, explore new cultures, or engage in higher education abroad. Their minds are always on the lookout for the next adventure. They tend to be optimistic thinkers. Even in challenging situations, they see the silver lining and have faith that things will work out for the best. Education is a big deal to them. They might excel in academia and have a thirst for knowledge that keeps them lifelong learners.They often think big and communicate ideas on a grand scale. They're not limited to the details; they want to understand the bigger picture. Learning and speaking foreign languages might come naturally to them. They're drawn to the richness of different cultures and enjoy breaking down language barriers. Some of them might have a knack for the law or working in fields related to ethics and justice. They can argue their case convincingly. Their minds are rarely at rest. They're always seeking intellectual stimulation and might get bored with routine quickly. Along with their love for knowledge, they might be interested in spirituality and the metaphysical. They seek to understand the spiritual side of life.

Mercury in 10th house

These folks are often highly focused on their careers and public reputation. They take their work seriously and are eager to communicate their ideas and ambitions to climb the professional ladder. They excel in public speaking, presentations, and written communication related to their job. They know how to convey their thoughts clearly and persuasively, which can be a valuable asset in the workplace. There's a strong desire for success and recognition in their professional life. They're not afraid to voice their goals and aspirations, and they're willing to put in the effort to achieve them. Building a strong network is a priority. They use their communication skills to connect with influential people and expand their professional circles, which can open up doors of opportunity. Depending on other factors in their birth chart, they may be drawn to careers in public speaking, politics, media, or any field where they can be in the public eye. They might find themselves in roles where they're seen as authorities on communication, such as teaching, writing, or media commentary. They often value honesty and integrity in their professional dealings. They want their words and actions to align with their public image. Balancing work and personal life can be a challenge. They can get so wrapped up in their careers that they may neglect other aspects of their life, including relationships. They're acutely aware of how they're perceived by others in their professional sphere. A tarnished reputation can deeply trouble them. Success is a big motivator. They set high standards for themselves and work diligently to meet or exceed them.They can adjust their communication style to fit different professional situations and personalities, making them versatile in various career environments. Some may excel in public relations or marketing roles, where they use their communication skills to shape and maintain a positive public image for individuals or organisations.

Mercury in the 11th house

These individuals are often intellectually inclined and love to connect with a wide range of people. They thrive in group settings, enjoy brainstorming, and often have a diverse circle of friends. Mercury in the 11th house folks are excellent communicators within their social groups. They can convey their ideas clearly and persuasively, making them great team members and leaders. They have a futuristic outlook and are drawn to innovative ideas. They may be involved in cutting-edge fields or have a passion for technology and social change. These individuals are open to different perspectives and are non-judgmental when it comes to the beliefs and ideas of others. They value diversity and inclusivity. Many of them are passionate about social causes and may actively participate in humanitarian or community-oriented projects. They want to make the world a better place. Collaboration is their forte. They work best when part of a team where they can share and exchange ideas freely. They're also skilled at mediating conflicts within groups.Building a broad network of connections comes naturally to them. They know how to use their social contacts to their advantage, whether in their career or personal life. They often have high hopes and dreams for the future. While this optimism is inspiring, they may need to ground their aspirations in reality at times. Their mind is a treasure trove of inventive ideas, and they're not afraid to share them. They can be the ones who suggest unique solutions to problems.Some Mercury in the 11th house individuals may have unconventional or niche interests that set them apart from the mainstream.They value their intellectual freedom and may resist conforming to traditional or rigid ideologies. They're more likely to embrace progressive and forward-thinking concepts.These folks love attending social events, gatherings, and parties. They thrive in environments where they can engage in stimulating conversations.

Mercury in the 12th house

These individuals tend to keep their thoughts and ideas close to the chest. They might not readily express what's on their minds and prefer to operate in a more private and secretive manner.They're introspective thinkers who ponder the mysteries of life and the universe. Their minds are often drawn to profound and philosophical questions. Mercury in the 12th house can grant them strong intuition and psychic abilities. They have a knack for picking up on subtle energies and may experience vivid dreams and premonitions. This placement can give rise to a strong connection with the subconscious mind. They might be interested in psychology, dream analysis, or other fields that delve into the depths of the human psyche. Expressing themselves verbally can be a bit challenging. They might struggle to put their thoughts into words or find it hard to articulate their ideas to others. They often have hidden talents and abilities that they might not even be aware of until they delve deep into their own psyche. These talents can emerge as they explore their inner world. Many develop a keen interest in spirituality, mysticism, or metaphysical subjects. They're drawn to the mystical and seek to understand the unseen realms. They're excellent listeners and can offer a compassionate and non-judgmental ear to those who need it. People often confide in them because of their empathetic nature. When life gets overwhelming, they might escape into their imaginations or immerse themselves in creative pursuits like writing, art, or music to find solace. Some find their calling in healing professions, such as psychology, counselling, or therapy. They have a natural ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level. They're attuned to subtle cues in their environment and can pick up on things that others might miss. This can make them excellent at reading between the lines. Sometimes, they might hold back their thoughts and feelings out of fear of vulnerability or judgement. Opening up can be a gradual process for them.

These are just my observations/opinion on Mercury through houses. They may or may not resonate. You're free to criticize just be nice about it.

[kpop]

K-Pop Spotlight: DAY6

Come one, come all to a K-Pop Spotlight that is sure to dazzle and delight ’til the final curtain. This week, all eyes are on DAY6 following the release of their eighth mini-album, Fourever, and brand new title track, "Welcome to the Show." We caught up with the band to discuss their goals as they approach their 10th anniversary and their ever-growing connection to their fans through their music. Check out our full interview below!

Tracks like “Welcome to the Show,” “The Power of Love,” and “Get The Hell Out” seem to have very different themes. Can you tell us a little about how these songs relate to each other and what aspects make this album cohesive?

SUNGJIN: As we pursue the idea of being a 'band that sings every moment,' it seems like our albums, including the recent one, prioritize diversity in songs and situations rather than unity. Consequently, our albums contain various genres and narratives. However, there seems to be a commonality in most songs, depicting situations that everyone has either gone through or might experience.

Young K: First and foremost, I would say this album is a compilation of the best songs we could create. There's definitely a theme of love running through it. "Welcome to the Show," "The Power of Love," and "Get The Hell Out" all talk about the concept of love.

What goes into creating titles for DAY6 songs and albums, especially those that don’t come directly from your lyrics? Do you find it hard to condense the intentions and themes of a song into a title?

Young K: While there have been cases like that, all the songs on this album came from the lyrics. Sometimes, when choosing a title, we select the one that best describes the song—other times, we choose to give it a twist or make it more intriguing.

WONPIL: Naming songs involves a lot of deliberation. We often contemplate which title will catch the eye and capture the song's essence. Usually, we try to take it from a verse in the chorus. This can be a challenging part of the songwriting process.

Is there a creative project you’ve always wanted to work on but haven’t gotten the chance/found the time?

SUNGJIN: I'm very curious, and have a principle of "trying to experience as much as possible." There are so many things I want to try musically and personally, especially among the things I know but haven't tried yet.

DOWOON: I hope we can have a song that we can collaborate on with My Day, like a choir.

What does your work/studio setup look like? Where do you feel the most creatively inspired?

DOWOON: We try to keep the studio as tidy as possible and make it comfortable for practice sessions.

WONPIL: When working on songs, we talk a lot. We get inspiration from little conversations, joking around, sharing stories, and listening to music from various eras regardless of genre while giving opinions. We also try to build emotional connections with the songs. There’s a lot of communication going on. The songwriting process takes place in the studio of our long-time collaborator, composer Hong Jisang, with whom we've been working together since our debut.

How do you want to evolve as a musician/producer?

Young K: I want to be eagerly anticipated and awaited as an artist. Without those who wait for us, we wouldn't release or even step onto the stage. So I’m always thankful for My Day.

WONPIL: My biggest goal is to make good music for My Day and the public, so I think I'll continue to ponder. When working on songs, I pour my sincerity into them. I constantly strive to express this sincerity musically, fully capturing the emotions I want to convey. I hope to create songs that can still be listened to even after 10 or 20 years.

Design your own Tumblr blog: choose an aesthetic, a blog name, and would you be a frequent poster or lurker?

SUNGJIN: I think I’ll use it to catch up on friends' updates. For the blog name, THUMB BLUR sounds good to me. I might end up being a lurker who never posts.

DOWOON: Maybe a blog for plants? I think I'll post it like a diary.

Want more DAY6? Check out their new mini album Fourever and the music video for the title track “Welcome to the Show,” both out now!

[colleendoran]

No Twitter.

As you all know, I'm not really on social media much anymore, and I barely go on Twitter at all, maybe 5 minutes a week to make sure the account hasn't been compromised. Most of my posts go up using fedica, or I have an assistant post them. She pops me stuff via email, I pop answers back.

It looks like I'm on Twitter, but I use the Cold Turkey app to block myself. It is impossible to bypass. I simply don't want anything more than the most superficial access to Twitter. It messes me up, not gonna sugar coat it.

While I was in hospital, the conflict between Israel and Gaza was starting. My assistant who runs my twitter account followed some accounts and liked some tweets. I don't even get the impression she liked what she was, you know, liking, but simply highlighted comments to follow conversations. 

I also often like things I don't even like too, because I almost never use the bookmark.

She also likes a lot of things in a row so she can screen shot them in one batch and email them to me, especially fan comments.

She liked some political posts and followed some political accounts. This was brought to my attention some time ago. 

I stay out of political conflict in my professional spaces.

I asked her to be careful about likes and follows and to remove anything and everything that wasn't in keeping with the professional nature of my social media presence. She did.

Apparently, I am now being denounced as an evil Zionist, because someone screen shotted a few tweets that had likes on them.

Frankly, I'm not even sure what Zionist means to people on Twitter, and do not have the expertise to discuss Middle East politics on social media. It's all just terribly sad to me, but I've been avoiding almost everything not directly related to my work, especially while I've been medicated.

I am not going to fire my assistant for this boundaries-crossing, as someone suggested as a solution to this mess. She's been a good friend for almost twenty years.

I've asked her to be more careful maintaining boundaries between her account and mine in public and personal spaces.

That's all.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

The improvement in alhaitham and kaveh’s relationship post-parade of providence is TANGIBLE!!! I’ll talk about things of note from cyno's story quest 2 before posting my deep diving into what this all means for them <3

Firstly, kaveh’s appearance in the tavern being to pick up his order of wine, only to show his parting from the traveller, to ask lambad whether his order includes ‘the coffee beans’ – which is a direct reference to his 2023 bday letter in which he and alhaitham test coffee beans together for his birthday, and now, canonically, this can be observed as a common practice for the two of them – this is symbolic of domesticity, as the two only do this outside of the player’s sight, confined to the privacy of their home.

Alhaitham’s introduction within this quest is waking the traveller up (to which they ignore haikaveh and honestly, valid) due to their discovery of the temple of silence – and I think this is a little self-indulgent on my part, but I think it’s Interesting that tighnari mentions that the tent paimon picks is prone to being stumbled into by ‘sleepwalking fungi’, which prompts cyno to encourage the traveller to safeguard their tent with a weapon. Paimon comments on the improbability they will be attacked or woken up by uninvited guests, and lo and behold, haikaveh turn up – implying they are the sleepwalking fungi? it’s reminiscent of alhaitham’s story quest where alhaitham questions if kaveh would devolve into a fungus, to which kaveh replies he would be a fungus with empathy… if this is at all deliberate, it’s a really cute parallel!!

The completely unnecessary flashback scene in haikaveh’s house, it’s purely there to showcase the development of their relationship - there was no need to animate something that could have been exposition?

(The scene is established with alhaitham reading a book with kaveh offscreen preparing snacks and wine for the two of them, and when kaveh enters, alhaitham puts the book down and directly engages with kaveh’s conversation with a CRIMINAL smile on his face. Kaveh continues the conversation whilst sitting on the table, which shows his comfort and familiarity within the house? With alhaitham? This is also heightened when he leans back on the table during the conversation. Alhaitham is shown thinking about the case and kaveh offers to draw the emblem on the paper of the extortion letter – when kaveh turns his back to do so, their conversation is halted, and only then does alhaitham bring out the book again, but there is a deliberate still on his face as he looks UP from his book to look at kaveh sketching? There was no need for this.!!.>!!!

When kaveh returns to show alhaitham the sketch, the book is gone again, and the previous distance between them is closed – kaveh sits on the table in front of alhaitham, and this creates an intimacy as the two directly face each other. this couldn’t have been established solely by sitting next to each other on the divan. Alhaitham smiles at the sketch and notes that he recognises it, to which kaveh smiles(!!!) at and questions this. Alhaitham recognises the ARCHITECTURAL signets within the symbol, which not only relates back to their joint thesis but also their character concepts as mirrors, as alhaitham appropriates kaveh’s architecture, and kaveh has appropriated alhaitham’s language – which suggests a balance between the two.)

Alhaitham and kaveh working together to identify the emblem to be that of the temple of silence acts as the catalyst for the chain of events within the story quest

Kaveh quipping at alhaitham keeping the salary of the acting grand sage – but with no animosity behind it!??? his last expression during this dialogue honestly looks exasperated but in a fond way…. Im ill….

Alhaitham and kaveh looking at each other when discussing how the case doesn’t make sense… just alhaitham and kaveh looking at each other and deliberating over the other’s thoughts… finally… listening to each other and working together…

The additional (HIDDEN) scene in the house of daena where they begin researching, with alhaitham commenting that he will look for texts pertaining to the temple of silence, to which kaveh says it will take too long, and then agreeing to help alhaitham, without alhaitham having to ask, which demonstrates their improved synergy. Kaveh asks alhaitham how to teach him in gaining information on the sly, to which alhaitham DOES but teases him about it at the same time, but so fondly... I would say this scene mirrors the additional scene in the archon quest, with kaveh talking to alhaitham by the bookshelves and accusing him of stirring trouble in sumeru, while alhaitham appears bitter that kaveh was in the desert during the overturning of the sages. There is a distinct shift in their relationship here – in the past, the two missed an opportunity to work together, whereas here they are voluntarily banding together (which ive discussed here)

COFFEE MENTION 2! Alhaitham mentions how he wants to drink coffee, to which kaveh laments that he wasn’t able to bring any from home. When using nahida’s skill on them, alhaitham can be seen thinking about wanting coffee,,, and then kaveh is thinking about how to get to coffee to them by using mehrak. Even their thoughts are working in tandem??? This contrasts with their individual thoughts in alhaitham’s story quest, where kaveh is thinking about how alhaitham was being vindictive towards kaveh drunkenly writing on the bulletin boards, and labelling alhaitham as having ‘terrible thoughts’, all the while alhaitham is thinking about how dusty the bookshelves are… the progress is STARTLING

When the group reconvene in the house of daena, alhaitham and kaveh have progressed their research on their own accord and based on what naphis has told them. When explaining, the two complete each other’s sentences, and this rounds off with alhaitham conjecturing that the goal of the assailant was to get cyrus to see the letter, which makes kaveh realise cyno’s motivations, and for alhaitham then to ascertain cyrus’s whereabouts. Naphis then assigns alhaitham and kaveh to be in charge of the house of daena, to which they both agree, and alhaitham… smiles? With so much pride? WE GET IT YOU’RE WORKING TOGETHER!!!! SHUT!!!

Cyno and tighnari mention TWICE how essential it is that kaveh and alhaitham worked together, with mentioning how imperative it was that kaveh spotted the emblem and that alhaitham connected it to the temple of silence, and then how alhaitham gave tighnari advice on desert cultural traditions, which aligned with kaveh’s experiences with desert tribes, which gives tighnari the idea to turn the tables on the temple of silence

Returning to the house of daena, cyno highlights that it is STRANGE that kaveh and alhaitham are working together, in that he is surprised to see them studying together? This draws further attention to the unlikeliness of the situation, and that this MEANS something in regard to their relationship!

Kaveh stressing about having to pack away their copious research materials, only for alhaitham to reassure him that there’s ‘no rush’… so gentle

Cyno and tighnari thanking alhaitham and kaveh for WORKING TOGETHER as it allowed them to find a swift and good outcome

COFFEE MENTION 3! Cyno offering to take everyone for coffee, which alhaitham agrees to, and kaveh agreeing to, although he says that because of the last few days, he’ll order something different (confirming that alhaitham has the caffeine tolerance of a tank and kaveh gets caffeine jitters thank u @ hoyo). On the table the two were studying, two trays of a pair of coffee cups and coffee brewers can be seen… the same that can be seen in their house??? Meaning they brought their domesticity to the library with them… and they also sat across from each other, which reminds me of how kaveh sat in front of alhaitham in their house, rather than next to him…

Kaveh and alhaitham sitting next to each other in the café <333

KAVEH CALLING THE HOUSE ‘HOME’ TO ALHAITHAM??? IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS?? This is a big contrast to kaveh in a parade of providence and alhaitham’s story quest who hated to having admit such a thing. And then alhaitham AGREEING that the house is ‘HOME’, and again their thoughts align with ‘my thoughts exactly’. Alhaitham and kaveh leaving together, to the house of daena (where they met, where it ended, and where they have been shown to bond together in this quest) and then back to their shared ‘home’... oh......

from this, kaveh no longer seems defensive or reserved in front of alhaitham, and makes no notion of criticising alhaitham, offering to help alhaitham into researching, and even asking alhaitham to teach him something he deems as a useful skill which he lacks. he openly takes onboard alhaitham's views on the case and responds in kind in order to come to a resolution. he actively makes time in his day to spend with alhaitham, seen in them enjoying snacks/wine/coffee together and talking about his day. he describes the house they share as a 'home', which, for kaveh, is imperative to his character due to his loss of family (which ive posted about here)

alhaitham, similarly, is less critical of kaveh, and this is because a seemingly resolved miscommunication between them. he is receptive to, and encourages, kaveh to communicate with him when it comes to things that kaveh believes to be noteworthy, actively focussing solely on kaveh, rather than his book, when kaveh initiates conversation. he equally seems to enjoy this time spent with kaveh, as he is seen nowhere else but by kaveh's side during this story quest, wanting (kaveh's) coffee within the library which would establish a familiar and domestic setting elsewhere outside of their home. when leaving his group of friends at puspa's, saying that it's him 'done for the day', he retreats with kaveh, back to their shared 'home'

overall, alhaitham and kaveh's relationship has improved VASTLY since their first interaction in the archon quest. there seems to be an understanding between them now and this results in comfort and familiarity where they used to be miscommunication and snipes, and there appears to be a balancing of their viewpoints as they appreciate in the other what was once viewed as mirror opposites never to align, being that of language and architecture. a sense of harmony(?) balance(?) has been established here, and this is shown to be the ideal course of their reconciliation. im so weak......

[fernandopiastri28]

tags: f2 alpine oscar x mark webber's daughter, all pics from pinterest

warnings: daddy issues, poor father-daughter relationship, jealousy, (this chapter is just like pure fluff though 😚)

Anyone but webber - Oscar Piastri

Rule 5: Allow yourself to be happy, even if it scares you

The next few weeks drifted by in a blur of monotony, which honestly, was a nice break from everything that had been going on in the last months. She barely saw Oscar as he was away racing, which was disappointing especially since she wanted to spend time with him now that they’d finally reached an understanding that they would try to be something.

They did call nearly every day, managing and manouevering around time differences. They were only about 7 hours apart, so it was always midday for one of them, and night or morning for the other. It usually ended up that it was always midday for her, and night for Oscar, who was at the track during the day. 

Even though he was a couple thousand miles away in Russia, it didn’t feel that far each time they called. Sometimes they’d do facetime- sometimes it would just be their voices. Whatever it was, it was always nice to have his voice on the other end of the line, familiar and warm. 

In the days before Mark headed off to Russia, she found herself trying harder with him. She’d learned that showing an interest in Oscar was the key to unlocking even the most guarded parts of Mark, so she’d use it to her advantage. 

It was definitely a bitter pill to swallow- realising that her dad would likely always favor his protégé over her, but accepting it made life easier- tension at home, which had been a constant undercurrent for as long as she could remember, seemed to ease. Conversations with him became bearable, even if they were mostly about Oscar and nearly never about anything to do with her own like.

And, if she were honest with herself, it was nice to hear more about Oscar, even if it was through her dad’s lens. It gave her insight into his life that she didn’t always get from their calls. When they called, it was hardly racing related beyond the initial question of How’d the car feel today? or, How was training?. They’d talk like any other couple their age would- favourite movies, music and artists, things they wanted to do when Oscar got back.

She actually did want to ask Oscar more about his racing, because she couldn’t help but feel like he was sometimes intentionally swerving around the question because he assumed she would hear about it enough at home. 

In reality, she had an interest in racing because of Oscar. It was boring coming from her dad, but when it came from Oscar- all the passion and excitement that his voice carried when he spoke about it, she was fully content for it to be the only thing they ever talked about. 

She could’ve just asked Oscar directly, ask him to talk to her about it because she actually is interested, but there was something about the idea of being seen as clingy that held her back. They’re separate people still, and maybe Oscar avoids racing when speaking to her because it’s his thing separate from her, it’s his thing.

And she didn’t want to intrude on that and make him feel like he has to let her in on every bit of him. He’d probably get silently annoyed with her over time, being too nice to say anything- he’d settle with silently stewing in irritation. The idea of being a clingy and over invasive girlfriend that her boyfriend secretly hates truly haunted her. 

Girlfriend? Boyfriend? It wasn’t something they had officially decided on. They hadn’t discussed labels, hadn’t defined what this was, but it was clear they were exclusive. They were in that liminal space between something casual and something real, and she wasn’t sure how to navigate it.

It’s something they’ll hopefully discuss after the race week is over, because she’s been driving herself a little crazy wondering just how real this is. She knows that the depth and truth of a relationship don’t rely on a label, but it’s something she’s always valued. She doesn’t just want to be with Oscar- she wants to be able to call him her boyfriend, to tell people she’s in a relationship, hear Oscar refer to her as his girlfriend.

When Mark did head off to join Oscar in Russia, the house became just her’s for the next couple of weeks, the emptiness giving her a full sense of freedom. She could’ve hosted so many parties- invite absolutely anyone she wants to and however many people. Yet, she’d rather have been with Oscar in Sochi.

Her dad didn’t give her a reason why she wasn’t coming to this race, he just didn’t come into her room one day and tell her to pack a bag with clothes matching the weather in wherever the F2 race would be hosted. 

The solitude of being completely alone in the house wasn’t too bad though- it gave her time to think, to reflect on everything that had happened.

One evening, as the sun dips low in the sky and paints her room in shades of orange and pink, she lays sprawled out on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The quiet is almost too loud, her breathing being the only thing to break the stillness. 

It’s been too long of being just her in the house. Even though it’s not as if the house is always loud and busy. It’s often just her and her dad, both of whom are naturally rather quiet, yet, there’s always some sort of noise, whether that’s one of them having a friend over or someone being on a call, there’s some sort of background constantly there.

Inviting some friends over is obviously an option, but she doesn’t think she’d be great company right now- too busy moping around and missing Oscar. To try and fill the emptiness, she reaches for her phone, scrolling aimlessly through instagram. 

She follows both alpine and prema for pictures of Oscar, and embarrassingly even occasionally checks a fanpage for him- one that posts every single new piece of content of him. There’s one posted only a few hours ago- a candid shot of him taken at the track, his helmet under his arm, looking off into the distance with that serious expression he often wore before a race. 

He looks adorable, even all stone faced and emotionless. Before she can talk herself out of it, she sends off a quick message. 

Hey, hope everything’s going well in Russia. I miss you 😚

Simple, to the point, and not too clingy, she hopes. Neither of them are strangers to a heart or kiss emoji after their texts, so she doesn’t worry that she going too far with it. 

A response comes in quicker than expected,

Miss you too. Can’t wait to see you when I’m back ❤️.

Even though it’s just a few words on a screen, simply knowing Oscar’s on the other end of the phone and thinking about her is enough to set her mind at ease. She shuts her phone off, content with just knowing he’s on the other side. She can’t spend all her days patiently waiting for him to get back, empty eyes and unmoving. 

Peeling herself off her bed, she heads into her bathroom to take a shower and think about what she should do these next few days to get her mind off Oscar while she gets ready.

Even though it seems like forever, the days do eventually pass and she doesn’t spend them all rotting in her room. She hates that she feels somewhat dependent on Oscar, so this time away from him needs to be something that she becomes comfortable with and used to, a time that she spends focused on herself, instead of forcing herself do go out and live life solely so she isn’t missing him.

Her time is filled with small things- reading, going for walks, meeting up with friends, cooking. But always, in the back of her mind, there’s that anticipation for when Oscar finally returns. She wondered what it would be like when he was back, if things would feel different, if they’d finally have that conversation about what they were to each other.

But for now, she was okay with the uncertainty. For now, she could wait.

She watches the feature race, Oscar starts on pole and wins the race. It’s his third pole and third win for the season, and based on a quick call she has with her Dad, it seems to be the deciding point of the season. It’s obviously not yet confirmed that Oscar will be the F2 champion, but it’s certainly looking like that.

They don’t speak about it on the phone, not a single word about the championship or even just the race weekend. Oscar doesn’t bring it up, so she doesn’t either. They instead talk about seeing eachother when he gets back, which his flight is the next day. They’ll have the house to themselves for two days since Mark is staying in Sochi for another week for meetings and other race related commitments. 

When the day comes, she offers to drive out to the airport to meet him, but Oscar insists that he’ll just take a taxi since he gets back at like 7am, and doesn’t want her to have to be getting up and out of bed before the sun is even up. 

That gives her extra time to spend on getting ready, making herself look her best before she sees him. It’s not like he’s not going to like how she looks if she doesn’t do anything, hopefully, but she still wants to make an effort to look good for him.

Clothes cover her hardwood floor, tossed aside in the search for the ‘perfect’ outfit. Her hairs still a mess, and her lips are cracked and dry, and seriously picking out her outfit is the least of her worries right now when she still hasn’t showered, eaten, brushed her teeth, or made her bed. 

She only gets two of those things done, shower and teeth, before the doorbell rings. Luckily, she’s already got a denim skirt on, so she grabs the closet top and pulls it over her head as she rushes downstairs. She almost trips over her own feet on the scramble down the stairs, but manages to catch herself and be nearly fully composed by the time she’s opening the front door.

And there Oscar is, in all of his perfect glory. He’s got a race winner glow to him, bright eyes, a soft smile, just oozing confidence. He looks good, even more than he usually always does. “Hi,” Her voice barely comes out, more winded and out of breath. 

“Hey,” He steps inside, shutting the door behind him. He pushes his suitcase slightly to the side so there’s nothing inbetween them, just far too much space. They both just look at each other for a moment, the air thick and heavy. It feels as natural as breathing when he finally moves and wraps his arms around her waist and rests his head against hers.

She meets him halfway, arms reaching up to wrap around his neck. “I missed you,” She murmurs into the collar of his cotton shirt. It smells so good, not even of his cologne, but just of Oscar. The faint undertone of hotel body wash, and just him. 

He tilts his head, kissing her cheek. “I missed you too,” He smiles against her, his voice a whisper. “You look so pretty,” He pulls away slightly to look at her, his eyes scanning over her bare face. She feels her cheeks heat up, suddenly very conscious about her lack of makeup and likely presence of redness and dark undereyes.

His thumb slides across her cheek, his lips slightly parted. He looks like he’s about to say it again, tell her how she’s so pretty. “Stop it,” She pushes his hand away slightly, feeling the heat from her cheeks travel down to spread across her neck. 

Oscar chuckles softly, his hand lingering near her face as if he can’t quite bring himself to fully let go. “I’m serious,” he insists, his voice warm and genuine. “You’re so so pretty,” He ducks his head for a kiss, his lips slipping against hers. 

He feels like home, warm and soft and all hers. “You’re just saying that because you haven’t seen me in a while.” She rolls her eyes as he pulls away, resting his forehead against hers.

Oscar huffs, exasperated and sarcastically dramatised. “Nah,” He shakes his head, a teasing glint in his eyes, “You know I’d say that even if I saw you every day,” His arms tighten, squeezing her waist tighter. “I think you’re pretty every single day,”

Her heart does a little flip at that, and she can’t help but smile back at him, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and happiness bubbling inside her. It’s been a while since she’s felt this light, this carefree in someone’s presence. It’s like Oscar carries this effortless ability to make her forget about everything else-  her dad, the complications, the uncertainty of what they are. In moments like these, it’s just them.

“Okay, okay, I accept it,” She giggles, her hands moving to hold onto his shoulders, getting a good look at him. “So, how was Russia?” she says, trying to change the subject, though her voice is still tinged with laughter. She avoids asking directly about the race, but she’s pretty sure just asking about the country is a safe discussion topic.

“Cold.” He grimaces, raising his eyebrows slightly, “Nice though, definitely worth it.” It seems like he might be steering the conversation towards discussing racing, but then he quickly pulls back. I’ve got something for you.” He reaches into the pocket of his sport shorts and pulls out a small, neatly wrapped package. “Open it,” He grins, his cheeks as rosy as hers.

She carefully unwraps the package, revealing a delicate golden necklace with a tiny, intricate pendant shaped like a star. “I remembered you saying you like gold jewelery, so I went to four different shops trying to find this specific necklace.. because everywhere else they only sold it in silver,” He sways slightly, seemingly a bit nervous. 

It’s simple, yet beautiful, and her breath catches in her throat as she looks up at him, wide-eyed. “Oscar,” Her cheeks hurt from how hard she’s smiling. She’s so incredibly fond of him. “It’s beautiful.” She looks back down at it, resting the charm in her palm, “You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to,” he interrupts gently, his voice coming out in a single breathe. “I saw it and thought of you. It’s just a little something, you know, to remind you that I’m thinking of you even when I’m halfway across the world.” 

She nods, still processing. “Thank you,” she finally says, her voice soft, filled with emotion. “It’s really nice, it’s gorgeous,” She quickly corrects herself. “I love it.”

He smiles, his eyes searching hers as if trying to gauge how she really feels. She watches as the stress and panic drains from his face and is replaced with relief and a smile. “Can I put it on you?”

She nods again, turning around and lifting her hair to expose the back of her neck. He shruggles with it for a few seconds, clearly not having much experience of putting on necklaces. Luckily, his uncut nails help him out, hooking onto the metal.

His fingers brush against her skin as he fastens the clasp, and she shivers slightly at the contact, her pulse quickening. “There,” he murmurs, his voice close to her ear. “Perfect.”

She turns back to face him, her hand reaching up to touch the pendant resting against her collarbone. It feels like a promise, a small piece of him that she can carry with her wherever she goes. His eyes are directly just staring at her chest where the pendant lies, and probably the surrounding skin too. “Thank you, Osc,”

Oscar’s smile softens, and he steps closer, his hands finding her waist again. And then, before she can say anything else, he leans in and kisses her, slow and sweet, like he’s savoring every moment. She melts into the kiss, all her worries and doubts fading away as she loses herself in the warmth of his lips, the feel of his hands on her, the steady beat of his heart against hers. 

When it does finally end, she looks up at him, their noses still nudging against each other’s. Her palms grow sweaty and her skin prickles up in goosebumps from how he looks down at her. She knows he’s about to say something, something that’s about to change everything. She doesn’t want to assume what it is, but she’s got a pretty good idea of what it could be.

And if it is what she thinks it is, the answer is going to be the most definite yes ever.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

y/n.webber

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 3,105 others

y/n.webber you're caught between a dream and a movie scene 🌺

user1 is this mark webber's daughter?

-> y/n.webber yes lol

-> user2 ohh so thats why logan and oscar both liked this

-> user3 who r oscar and logan?

-> user2 formula 2 drivers! oscar is managed by her dad

user4 ahhh so prettyyy

-> y/n.webber thank you love!!!

bsf/n shut up im so excited for summer

-> y/n.webber AND ZAYN TOUR HOPEFULLYYY

oscarpiastri

liked by frederikvestiofficial, aussiegrit and 28,193 others

oscarpiastri Super happy to get my third pole position in a row, and back-to-back feature race wins. Always a pleasure, cheers Sochi 🤟

user5 CONGRATS OSCAR!!

-> user6 i need him in f1 like rn

-> user7 so true

aussiegrit 👏💯

logansargeant lesss goo mate

user8 deserves that 2nd alpine seat next year

last chapter, next chapter

after such a sad chapter last time, they're finally happy!!! yayayay :)) sorry this chapter took a while, hopefully it was worth it :) also enjoy the inclusion of spider being a zayn fan in the sm part bc i am projecting onto her and literally making her my twin 😋

taglist: @prettiest-at-the-party, @forza-charles, @sltwins, @sweetwh0re, @lucktales, @ellen3101, @nxlx96, @notantou, @cloud-55, @wisestarfishbouquet,

[taylortruther]

also re: the racial component of TS/fan base, if you haven't you should watch Alex Avila's video on Taylor Swift, I think it was really well done

this is SO good. thank you SO much for this recommendation.

i really liked how avila noted how masterfully taylor blends authenticity and social normativity - "the reason taylor swift seems so authentic to young girls is because she's conforming to an image [of white patriarchal girlhood] that young women internalized from a young age." similarly, the popular feminism of 2014 (when 1989 was released) was flimsy and did not challenge patriarchal norms, and we see how she made feminism part of 1989's branding.

and he asks a question i often pose: is there anything subversive in idolizing the most popular cultural object? does poptimism (the critique of pop music as a serious form of art) simply reinforce existing power structures??

taylor swift and whiteness

understanding how someone becomes a legend and icon means understanding how they challenge, but also reinforce, the biases in society, which includes race, class, gender, and so forth. and "there IS something deeply white about [taylor's] image" (1:18:33). her image is cultural whiteness! taylor swift's relatability (which is and has always been part of her brand), her social capital, her social normativity, is directly tied to the neoliberal racial philosophy that, instead of calling whiteness superior, establishes whiteness as the norm (1:21:23).

millennials want celebrities to be morally pure. this is a mistake.

also - LOVE that he points out that millennials don't judge female celebrities by their sexuality or modesty anymore, but instead they judge based on political awareness, which is just another way of continuing the "patriarchal history of regulating narratives around women's actions" (1:42:39). avila focuses specifically on millennials here, cautioning us not to consider this a a sign of true political engagement from millennials. as he points out, systems of oppression adapt to our ever-changing culture. when we try to 'cancel' or 'hold a celebrity accountable' for their ideologies or missteps, sometimes it's because they're truly terrible, and other times it's because we hold women to "unrealistic standards of purity." ie, this isn't necessarily real political engagement, it is just another example of judging women. often it's both (pointing out missteps, and also being sexist.)

whiteness again

avila goes on to discuss how white women have long been held up as virtuous, moral centers of american families - and while this is a racist and sexist practice, given that woc aren't seen as virtuous, it also lays the foundation for why white women in particular dominate conversations about politics in the public sphere. it is an Event every time a white celebrity frames their political awakening as a personal, spiritual journey of self-realization. yes, this act is important, because women must learn about their own oppression, and talk about it, in order to educate others.

but when taylor (or any other famous white woman) frames politics solely through the personal, it relieves her of the obligation to critique systemic issues. her own political awakening is all that matters - she must prove her own political purity (instead of sexual purity, as before.) there is a deep problem in society demanding this, rather than larger systemic change, but we'll get to that later.

this personal political purity awakening earns her a lot of goodwill, but her resistance ends with herself. and this is a pattern that we see happen all the time, in what robin james calls "neoliberal resistance discourses" in pop: someone is damaged by oppression (sexism), she overcomes it brilliantly with an awakening (miss americana/lover/denouncing trump era), and she absorbs this goodwill into her brand. these individual damages and awakenings supposedly symbolize society's own awakening and resilience(!). (1:52:48)

🚨 some readers might be getting tired/annoyed at this; i can hear y'all saying "well, what do you even WANT from her omg!!!" just stay with me here. 🚨

she holds a mirror up to society, tho

what avila so brilliantly points out is that... this cycle of damages and resilience isn't helpful. it goes nowhere! and we are all at the mercy of the same patterns as taylor. it's not about taylor, it's about us, and how capitalism commodifies everything, including social movements! including personal 'goodness'! a neoliberal system wants individuals to care about their individual choices and looking like good individuals; it encourages the use of "purity tests" and "commodified algorithmic social movements" to discourage challenges to systemic issues (reminds me of the celebrity blackout situation earlier this year, and conversations we have about politics, well, daily on here.) and the pattern of a person failing politically as an individual is part of this machine. if we're too busy policing individuals for their purity, we won't ever organize together for shared material goals. unfortunately, unlike taylor swift, most of us are not extremely powerful, wealthy, and influential as individuals. she does have more power than us in this regard.

taylor as cultural hegemony

anyway, avila goes on to talk about how taylor had this musical renaissance with folklore, and became more honest about her masterminding her own career in midnights. she has shown herself not just to be a musical chameleon, but a cultural one as well, positioning herself as white teenage purity when the culture called for it (circa 2008-2010), neoliberal pop feminism (1989 -> lover), pandemic escapism (folkmore) - and the culture has become part of her brand, part of her music. music that is already heavily wrapped up in her own life. she is the brand she is the culture. of course she put the work in, and not just anyone could do this. but imo, her whiteness (which, again, gives her this "default" "neutral" background to work with) is part of this success. "sure, she's challenged the institution but all in the effort to become the new face of musical hegemony" (2:06:25.) she challenges systems to assimilate into them, or create them in a way that requires assimilation.

of course, this is all based on her REAL experiences, her REAL life. she is living her own life, and also living it in this metacognitive way that mirrors culture.

but we don't have to hate taylor, actually!

and MOST interestingly, avila closes out by suggesting: it's not actually super healthy to always be suspicious and critical of art (2:17:24.) yes, there is a long political history of "paranoid reading," of critique based on marx, freud, and nietzsche's philosophies. it is the basis of A LOT of our frameworks for thinking about the world, including art.

as i've said before, it's interesting to discuss taylor or celebrities because they hold a mirror up to society. but we can't just relentlessly critique ourselves - after all, the critique is supposed to protect us from being bad! the critique is what keeps us good! and it's why we project so much onto them (the celebrities, or "bad" people.)

this video dove into a term that may be new to a lot of people (i only learned of it recently) - "reparative reading." rather than relentlessly critique art or what-have-you, engage with it in ways that is "affirmative, creative, and caring." this does not mean you toss out critical readings - reparative readings can coexist, and give us hope, optimism, feelings of beauty/appreciation, and affirmation.

for example, it's why -while i enjoy critiquing taylor (or what she Represents) - i am also here to just... have fun. i don't want to linger 24/7 on her emissions, or what she hasn't done, or who she's friends with. it's also why, as a fan of color, i hate that she is often dismissed and minimized to "white musician making music for white women." i find affirmation in a lot of her music, regardless of her race; i find optimism and hope in the way women so deeply relate to her, and how queer fans (also like myself) relate to her! (which avila points out too 2:21:00.) it's why i stopped debunking stuff, because queerness - like any other aspect of the fandom - is such a critical, significant part of why her music is beloved. it's so important for people to recognize that she is more than just 'music for straight white heterosexual cisgender women.'

[meanbossart]

I finally thought of a question! What does your Astarion think of all that's happened to him, now that it's all Over, and what does Drow think about what he knows about Astarion? Does he ever contemplate and compare, does he have passing thoughts like "Oh yeah, he told me this" brought on by nothing in particular? If Drow or Shadowheart were to bring it up either when drinking, or after a heated moment, what would happen?

Thank you so much for your art and your words! Your handle on Drow made me really crack open my Tav like a nut

AND WHAT A GOOD QUESTION IT IS.

(I use some dialogue excerpts from for A Novel Experience here to illustrate my points that some might consider to be spoilery, I don't think it's stuff that would affect one's reading enjoyment too much. Still, just figured I would mention it for anyone who minds it.)

In regards to Astarion, it is understandably complicated. I think the way he's found to get by so far is by not dwelling at all in what has happened. He's tried to turn the symbolic new leaf that night in the cemetery and likes to think of himself as not only freed, but a new man open to what life has to offer him and unburdened by his past - when memories rush back, he pushes them away. When something bothers him for reasons that relate to his past experience, he tries to push past the discomfort because he doesn't want to be defined by it. He is fairly self-conscious of being seen as a weakling or a victim, especially when he's constantly confronted by DU drow's utter indifference to his own past.

He has, by all intends and purposes, done well. He understands that he's a grown man who's been given a second chance at un-life by an exceptionally lucky turn of events, he absolutely does not want to waste a second more of his own time by being sullen, broken, or guilt-striken. He thrives for as long as his past doesn't directly confront him - but when it does, the avoidance catches up and he very easily loses his cool.

His feelings regarding the decisions he made underneath Cazador's palace are mostly rigid. He's happy to not have Ascended and content that the spawn were set free, but he does not like to dwell on what their lives may be like moving forward and, if ever discussing it, does so with callousness and indifference, shutting down the conversation before it can begin. While he doesn't bask in the feeling, he does take the smallest bit of pride in the fact that he has sacrificed eternal power for the freedom of thousands - when doubt arises and he's haunted with the could-have-beens, he soothes himself with the fact that his sacrifice had a purpose.

DU drow has no moral quandries with what Astarion did while under Cazador's control or regard for the people he victimized at all, but he dwells constantly on the suffering he's endured. He flip-flops between thinking of Astarion as a perfectly capable individual and someone who is overly sensitive and finicky the moment something upsets him - someone who needs protection. He has a grand hero's complex about him and at times difficulty trusting Astarion's capacity to make his own choices - since he didn't have the opportunity for such a long time. He isn't controlling, but Astarion knows him well enough to read the doubt in his face even when he's quiet about it.

Interestingly enough, this seems to mostly apply to when Astarion's ideas go against his own, or make him feel powerless or unneeded in some way or another. He's perfectly happy to go along with his impulses otherwise - even when they seem to be made in bad judgement.

It also applies to intimacy for a while, with DU drow proceeding to avoid sex even after he's rid of his urge - not only because he's still afraid of his own desires, but also because he doesn't trust Astarion to express his agency during the act.

But that's an issue that they solve fairly quickly (well, ten-chapters-in quickly. sixteen if you only count when they first have sex since the events of the game) , especially as Astarion asserts himself as the more dominant half of the relationship.

I don't think either DU drow or Shadowheart have the nerve to use Astarion's actions while enthralled against him. DU drow because he doesn't care or thinks he's held accountable in any way, and Shadowheart because she knows better. That said, things do come up between him and other characters and then - well. He doesn't deal well with it at all:

[delululand]

txt & what makes them jealous? how will they act on it?

yeonjun

he still gives me the vibe of a person who is unconsciously flirts with other people and if you behaved the same way he would rather take it as some kind of game and turn the topic into a joke and most likely into flirtatious dirty talks with you (and we all know that this will lead to screaming his name in a bedroom)

but if it was something really serious and he was worried about it, I think he’ll be upset and would try to talk and find out what was going on, however if his partner denied it or tried to get away from the topic it would be a complete scandal

soobin

i think he's not very jealous. usually when they talk about things related to jealousy, he speaks quite neutrally, for example, at the moment when everyone in korea was discussing perilla leaves, he said that it would be normal for him if his partner did this. the only time he said something about this was i don’t remember where exactly it was, but they discussed skinship and he said that he likes it more when he himself shows skinship (rather than someone starting to touch him) and he doesn’t like it when someone starts touching people close to him. and in fact there are quite a lot of videos of him removing the hand of one of members from another member or preventing them from holding hands by placing his hand and all that (especially protects huening kai)

so I think he would really be jealous mainly in moments of physical contact, even if it is something quite insignificant and most likely he would not say it directly, but try to separate his s/o and this person

I'll leave the video below with the dialogue between soobin and beomgyu and it shows their difference in this matter very well

beomgyu

okay if you watched the video you already know this. this guy is the winner in terms of jealousy among all members. he wouldn't let the members and other men in general touch you, flirt with you (even if they were just trying to be polite), spend too much time alone with you and everything else, he's the type of guy who starts whining "do you really love him more than me?????” if you pet your dog/cat for too long

I think he would be more open in expressing his feelings? like if another guy was flirting with you in front of him, he wouldn’t remain silent and, looking at him contemptuously, made some sarcastic comment, pulling you by the waist towards him and will definitely tell you what an arrogant loser this guy is as soon as you step aside

taehyun

actually i think he's almost not jealous at all? he looks the calmest and most emotionally mature so he would not pay attention to many things like just a long conversation or sitting next to, and if something did make him jealous, he would just talk to you about it when you were alone.

i really don’t see him at all as a jealous person or a person who would make a scandal about this, only dialogue or perhaps i can see how he behaves coldly. for example, if it's something really weird and his partner doesn't want to talk to him/denies everything and something like that, then after a few tries he would most likely get tired of it and cool off

huening kai

oooohhh don't make him jealous🥺 i can't stop saying how soft this boy is. if you look carefully at the moments when soobin pays more attention to the other members and starts being cute with them, his face changes. so i think that even just paying attention to another person while ignoring him would already make him jealous. and i'm not talking about flirting or anything like that, but just something like you’re together with other members and actively discussing with someone a new movie that you both watched but kai didn’t and he would just 🫥

knowing his character, he most likely would not have said anything? he'd probably just be upset for the rest of the day and act a little distant, answering your questions that everything is fine and he’s just little tired

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

One of the things that annoy me the most about people (mostly zutarians) trying to argue that Zuko saying he wasn't being himself in a war meeting with Ozai somehow means he doesn't want to be Fire Lord or date Mai is not just how it completely misinterprets Zuko's character and the things he has explicitly stated to want multiple times - but also because it ignores one of the most realistic portrayals of what it is like to live with an abuser that isn't on Evil Bastard mode 24/7.

During "Nightmares And Daydreams" Zuko is being treated shockingly well. He can get literally anything he wants, whenever he wants. He is being so pampered that he doesn't even have to walk anywhere if he doesn't feel like it, and everyone adores him - he is basically being treated like Azula.

Yet unlike Azula, he was not invited to the meeting. And he doesn't feel safe to ask his father about it directly or to just assume there was some communication issue and show up regardless of the "lack of" invitation. And considering what happened last time he tried, it's not hard to see why he feels that way.

But oh look! He WAS supposed to be there! And Ozai even refused to start the meeting without him! He saved Zuko a spot so he'd be at his right hand, and even wants to hear him out when discussing ideas! Surely that means he cares about Zuko and values his opinions, right?

Not quite. There's another catch. There's ALWAYS another catch. He can say what he wants... provided it is what Ozai wants to hear.

Zuko has every privilege in the world, but he doesn't have the basic to right to have his own opinions, to speak to his own parent and to not constantly fear he will suddenly be, at best, ignored, and at worst physically abused, kicked from home and cut off from everything and everyone he is familair with just because Ozai woke up in a bad mood or felt challenged/insulted in some way.

This episode was not about Zuko realising he didn't love Mai, or wanted to go back to the job he canonically hated. It's about him finally realizing that the most luxurious cage in the world is still a cage. That he will never feel safe with his abuser around, even if Ozai isn't constantly lashing out. That no matter how good his life seems to be on the surface, he will never truly have anything (from basic stuff like a roof over his head to luxuries like literal royal treatment) when there's someone that can just randomly decide to take it all away from him and not face any consequences for it because he has absolute power over everyone.

That's why in lots of frames during his conversations with Iroh, the animation makes it look like Zuko is behind bars while his uncle is free. Why Azula, the child that stuck by Ozai's side, ends the show having a breakdown and feeling worthless after being randomly abandoned by him and excluded from what was supposed to be THEIR moment. Why during the eclipse, Zuko literally says "I'm going to speak my mind and you're going to listen."

And why he confessed that entire inner conflict to Mai - yes, his girlfriend, but also someone who can RELATE to his struggles, because while her parents are not abusive, they are neglectful to the point of it being criminal and she full on says "I could get anything I wanted, as long as I behaved."

She knows what's like to feel trapped, and that's a big part of why Zuko felt comfortable enough to "take the mask off" with her instead of with anyone else.

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Heart: Alluring Temptations, Denial, and the Slow Burn

In the novelization of Darin Morgan's episode War of the Coprophages (post here), Dr. Bambi Berenbaum is described as "the most beautiful woman that Mulder has ever seen" (loosely quoted, thank you @wonderxphile~.) The thought struck me that, perhaps, it's not an invention or interpretation of the novelist's so much as an offshoot of the root of Mulder's romantic inclinations-- specifically, ones that relate to his self-imposed celibacy.

During the early years of the show, David Duchovny described Mulder's choice to remain single in a particularly singular way: that Mulder was so dedicated to his work that any relationship or life outside of it would feel like cheating. As intriguing as that thought is, another crops up: if that be the case, why was he almost drawn off-course by various women on the show?

THE DESIRE OF THE EYE

All but one of Mulder's short love interests are narratively sexual characters. Phoebe Green and Diana Fowley were exes, both intending to seduce, distract, and control his focus away from the mission. Kristen Kilar and Bambi Berenbaum were two beautiful women that drew and attached his eye immediately. Lastly, Melissa Rydell was a bit of an outlier who still exuded the same pull as the other four: a commonality with Mulder-- one who "understood" him in ways other women hadn't (or wouldn't.)

If his work is his wife, then they are his (potential) mistresses.

Mulder fell hard and fast; but snapped out of his rose-colored fog just as quickly. Each woman didn't withstand the test of his work, always turning their back on him for someone else, someone "greater."

Except for Dana Scully.

SLOW BURN AND DENIAL

The difference between Scully and the other women was that she didn't knock Mulder's socks off at first sight: baggy suit, green haircut, cutting science, and fire-breathing accountability challenged and won his trust before it won his heart.

Be that as it may, within two episodes Mulder had very, very quickly shifted his estimation of Scully from spy to maneuverable hindrance to partner.

By Squeeze he was undeniably, irrevocably territorial. While he respected her decision to leave, he would most certainly have continued tracking her down wherever she was working to discuss details of his case, her case, or any tidbits in-between (as depicted by him interrupting her stakeout.)

Season 2 beat Mulder over the head until he realized how closely he tied Scully to the work. In Little Green Men, he needed her encouragement to combat self-doubt; but more importantly, he needed her there with him, by his side. After her abduction in Ascension, he became listless, self-destructive (@cecilysass's excellent meta here), and dispassionate for the work: there was no curiosity or joy of discovery in 3's case-- in fact, there was no joy at all. In One Breath, he tried to barter his life's work for Cancer Man's location, resigning anyway out of sheer guilt. (Later, he tried to sell his soul again, more directly, to save Scully's life in Memento Mori.) By Firewalker, Scully had already eclipsed the work-- which Mulder didn't acknowledge, to her or himself, until Fight the Future-- and he frequently abandoned leads or "the truth" if he thought her life were in danger. Although she had become indispensable, Mulder didn't realize he loved her until later in the narrative.

Still.

Scully acknowledged her feelings, indirectly, at various times through the series; but he only initiated when afraid she'd leave, forever. While genuinely blinded by his quest, Mulder wasn't stupid. Scully fishing for his genetics in Home led him to banter away the conversation, later fixing a chair firmly under the broken lock separating their rooms. Scully bringing a cheese platter to celebrate in Detour didn't grab his attention from the mystery, but it underscored his efforts to deflect her serious topic later in the forest.

Because, at the heart of the matter (the very place he tried to avoid), Mulder lived in bone-deep denial.

In E.B.E., he quips, "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot"; in Irresistible, he fumes over no one noticing where "a pretty woman" went; even in A Ghost That Stole Christmas he huffs, "We're not lovers." Maggie Scully ascertained his feelings immediately in Ascension, and Melissa Scully pushed him to acknowledge them in One Breath: "At least she'll know. And so will you." During the cancer arc, he embraces Scully for never giving up, doesn't discuss her cancer unless absolutely necessary, freely offers affection on her deathbed; then after, tries to deflect a personal talk in the woods while in shock. Even thoughts of harm coming to his partner-- be it not wanting to consider Scully possibly dying in Piper Maru or the split second of doubt despite evidence when she did "die" in Kitsunegari-- throws up an instant wall of denial.

Mulder knew something was "there" after Melissa Scully made him confront himself-- in fact, he likely already sensed something during his conversation with Scully in Tooms-- but he didn't want to poke around to find out exactly "what" it was. He wasn't ready.

Yet.

"FOX " OR "MULDER"

The women closest to Mulder ended up calling him "Fox" (or "Sullivan")... all except Scully, his abandoned lunch colleague in Little Green Men, and the phone sex operator in Small Potatoes.

Scully herself is an even more isolated case, of course.

When she began to make a personal confession in Tooms, Mulder uncomfortably laughed off her "Fox...": "I even made my parents call me 'Mulder'. So. 'Mulder'." Perhaps that's true (or perhaps not, since his father and mother also called him "Fox.") Regardless, he sensed Scully was letting her guard down; and, fearing she was opening her heart in another direction, tried to fend off any loving regard. Scully surprised him, however: "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" incorporated his preference, expressed her loyalty, and was a far cry from a lovesick oath. He teased the moment away, pleased; then was, by turns, caught, unsettled, and relieved by her teasing repartee.

From that point, his name began to change from professional shield to personal endearment.

But what does this have to do with Mulder's mistresses?

SCULLY, HIS LIFE

Scully was inextricably linked with the work after her return; and, whether Mulder had fully accepted his love for her yet or not (and I'm beginning to think he hadn't fully until her cancer diagnosis), she was now his life. Drawing her away from a "normal life" and dragging her dog along on a lake monster excursion became an expected, routine part of his weekend.

Bambi-- the "most beautiful woman"-- appeared during this chummy, Season 3 phase. When larger questions and greater fears shook stability from under his feet, Melissa Rydell-- the alleged soulmate-- made her (apparently) destined entrance.

Both women fell into a pattern Phoebe and Kristen set: bold, shiny new possibilities; then solace-seeking and grasping insecurity. That pattern, however, was broken during the cancer arc, as exemplified by the exception to this general rule: Diana Fowley.

ESCAPING THE SNARE OF THE FOWLER

Phoebe, Kristen, Bambi, and Melissa effortlessly lured Mulder's focus from his own aims. Not permanently; just enough to create a foil for the work-- a.k.a. Scully. Mulder suffered a few burns from his false romances (post here): passing out from smoke inhalation, watching three buildings go up in flames, and being dismissed from the life of each romantic interest. Diana, too, betrayed him; and Diana, too, was tied to the blaze in his office.

However, Agent Fowley was not sought after like her predecessors. She was also the first to notice a change in Mulder.

When she arrived on the scene, boldly hitching her wagon to his theories and his work, she expected him to readily accept, nay beg, her back on the files. Instead, Mulder laughed off her concerns about Scully, gushing over his new partner's innate ability to make him "work for it." Further, he stuck by Scully's side when his ex was hospitalized, only straying in The Beginning when Diana created an elaborate ruse to separate the two. He didn't initiate or reciprocate her kiss in One Son; and he was more baffled than beaming when "she" wanted to play domesticly-ever-after in Amor Fati. In short, Mulder was not drawn romantically to Diana, at all: in fact, he was wary. Friendly, but distant.

She'd missed her chance.

If Diana had swooped in sometime before Memento Mori's unification, she could have exploited the gnarly feeling that had been building since early Season 4, or widened its distance post Never Again-- a distance that had been building since Mulder's sloughed-off remark in Home and unwitting partner replacement in The Field Where I Died. (More accurately, if CSM had bothered to pay close attention to his lab rats, he'd have noticed a weakness in their partnership and sent in his super rat to exploit it.) As it happens, she did not.

MULDER'S HEART

What does this mean for Mulder and Scully?

At the outset, I believed Mulder learned the depth of his love for Scully during the events of One Breath-- now, however, I'm convinced that's only half true.

Scully had already replaced the work's importance in his life, but neither understood the depths of his reliance on and devotion to her. Mulder was still gut-reacting, not wanting to delve too deeply into his heart to find the truth there. Never Again gave him a great and terrible shakeup because he'd taken Scully's place at his side for granted-- he'd thought "This work is my life" also extended to her; and that she'd glanced at his offer and was preparing to reject it. Mulder was living in full-blown denial: denial so deep that only the incurable, inescapable possibility of her death could tear his blinders off.

After her remission, that denial was blown to pieces; and, afraid to face the ramifications of his realization and her Redux II-Detour acceptance of it, he kept fleeing. As Scully says in Dreamland I, "We, we just keep driving."

That brings us back to Phoebe Green-- dangerous allure-- and Kristen Kilar-- mutual mourning partner-- and Dr. Berenbaum-- the "most beautiful woman"-- and Melissa Rydell-- tortured twin soul-- and Diana Fowley-- ancient history. His heart was free in Fire, unconsciously grieving in 3, charmingly in denial in War of the Coprophages, seeking Scully in other lives in The Field Where I Died, and beating only for her in The End.

CONCLUSION

A very interesting, complicated man, indeed.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[demonpiratehuntress]

hiii! it’s the autistic anon,, i hope it’s okay if i try requesting smth a little easier to write? i was thinking maybe smth like Law and reader aren’t dating yet, maybe reader joined the crew not too long ago and so is still quiet and shy around everyone. but one day Law notices her reading a comic book he likes and strikes up a conversation about it and maybe that leads to him finding out they’re really similar in some ways? like both have a coin and comic book collection, both love tattoos, and reader even wanted to be a nurse but just didn’t have the resources for it. Law kind of develops a crush from there and u can decide how he handles it and whether or not he even realizes he has a crush at first. and i don’t mind what format either, it can be headcanons or a fic or anything! and i just want to say thank u for taking time out of your busy schedule to write for us, i love your writing and look forward to your posts everyday! i hope your day is great!! <3

hello again! of course, i'm open to a lot of other ideas :) this sounds so cute and sweet, i can definitely write this! thank you for requesting again :D i chose headcanons because they're more fun to write lol. I hope you like it!

taglist - @kabloswrld

two peas in a pod

Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

summary - the cute scenario described in the ask :)))

warnings - none

You'd always wanted to become a pirate, ever since you were little

So when Law and his crew showed up at your little island and stopped at your village to replenish their supplies - and apparently take down bandits that were terrorising you - you took the opportunity

At first Law was sceptical, wondering what you brought to his crew, but after your first venture with them he realised you could be useful, not only as a fighter but also another medic, one with more nurturing qualities and a softer touch

He would never admit it, but he was jealous of how the crew immediately went to you for help now

But after a while Law himself warmed up to you as well, and found himself seeking your company more and more often

He knew very well he could fix himself up, but chose to come to you instead just to have an excuse to talk to you and maybe learn more about you

Despite interacting with the crew for medicinal purposes, you were still shy and reserved, only speaking when you needed to

You were surprised when Law walked into your room one day, claiming that he needed your help determining what kind of sickness he was developing (he was not sick)

He caught you in your free time, so you were reading a favourite comic of yours, a secret you had managed to keep from everyone for so long - until now

"What's that?"

"Hmm? Oh, this? Nothing.."

You hid the comic behind your back, hoping Law would drop it and just focus on his non-existent sickness, but luck was not on your side today

His brows furrowed in concentration, before his eyes lit up in a way you'd never seen before

"I know that comic!"

"Wh-what? No you don't..."

"Surely you're not telling me I wouldn't recognise the cover of my favourite comic book, (Name)-ya..."

"O-of course not! I just didn't think..."

You trailed off as Law took a seat directly next to you, plucking the comic from your hands

He begins to flick through the pages with you sitting so stiff and awkwardly beside him

Eventually you relax and attempt to initiate a discussion about it with him

Which turns into a full debate over your favourite characters

You've never had this much fun talking about something before

And your captain seems so much more relaxed and at ease, and he's even SMILING as he talks

The conversation slowly goes from the comic to other shared interests between the two of you, such as his coin collection - he was visibly stunned to find out you had one too - and your desire to become a nurse, something medical-related

Law was surprised to hear that you wanted to be a nurse

Not because you didn't have the skills for it, you definitely did, but because you had chosen to become a pirate instead

When he asked what changed your mind, something weird happened in his chest when your answer was "i didn't have the opportunity or the resources in my small village...but also...you"

He didn't know what that feeling was, but he kind of liked it?

From then on, Law took every opportunity he could to talk to you about both your coin collections, your medical knowledge and your shared interest in that comic

He wanted to know why he was feeling this way, and hoped talking to you more would help him understand

But now he was just craving your presence, craving your voice and the way you passionately spoke about your interests

It wouldn't be a good day if Law hadn't gotten the chance to see or speak to you

And it was frustrating him that he couldn't figure out why he felt this way about you, and why he treated you differently to his other crewmates

Then Shachi and Penguin teased him about being in love with you

And suddenly it made sense

But for the first time ever, Law was terrified, because he didn't know what to do, this was not his forte

So obviously, he needed help, and since Shachi and Penguin were doing nothing but teasing him, he went to Bepo

You were completely oblivious to what he and Bepo were planning, thinking they were just planning the crew's next island stop

You were also oblivious to Law's feelings - mostly because he hid it well - but were completely aware of your own feelings for him

And you tried to hide it, you really did, but everyone could see the way your eyes softened when he walked into the room or spoke to you directly, the way your cheeks reddened when he complimented you or said something nice, the way you always seemed even more shy and flustered around him

Even Law noticed

But for a long time he debated whether or not to actually go through with his Bepo's plan to ask you out

He took so long that you almost gave up on him entirely

But when he did finally approach you, it was so worth it

He had planned a very romantic dinner in his room - candlelit and everything

He was so nervous the entire time, only slightly comforted by the fact that you looked nervous as well

"You look nice"

"Oh, um, thanks. So do you"

It is SO awkward for a few minutes, as you both just look at each other or the food

You decide to break the silence since it seems like Law never will

"If this is too uncomfortable, I can-"

"No!" He jumps to say, then clears his throat. "I mean, I'd like you to stay. I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this."

So you stay, and you're patient with him as he works up the nerve to tell you how he feels

In the end, you tell him you feel the same way, and like a movie, you close the date with a sweet, slow kiss - both yours and Law's pace

[transmascutena]

Bird Symbolism in Revolutionary Girl Utena

There is quite a large amount of bird and bird-related imagery, symbolism, allegories and metaphors in Revolutionary Girl Utena, and i think all of them are very interesting. Here is a ~2000 word essay about the topic.

The Birdcage Garden: Anthy and Ohtori Academy

This is perhaps the most obvious of the bird symbols in Utena. It is literally Anthy's cage. It is where she, as the Rose Bride, is supposed to spend her time watering the flowers. Touga talks about never letting her out of it once he wins her, and calls her a "lovely little bird." And doesn't that just sum up what so many people's idealized version of her is like? A pretty thing to be admired, only in captivity.

I think the birdcage can also be seen as a sort of microcosm of Ohtori Academy as a whole. Akio does call the school "a garden where people will never become adults," after all, and Anthy is not the only person trapped there, nor is she the only character associated with birds.

According to this analysis, "Ohtori" as a word can mean "big bird" in japanese, and is also a Japanese term for the Fenghuang bird in Chinese mythology, said to be "beautiful, immortal and rules over all birds." Sounds a lot like a certain someone in charge of this place, doesn't it? Which would make every person in Ohtori a bird, symbolically speaking, trapped in the cage that is the academy and ruled by Akio (who, despite being the biggest, and the one with the most control, is also a caged bird.)

Additionally, the statue on the gate to the dueling arena is in the shape of a bird, before it transforms into a rose when opened. I am not sure exactly what this means, but I assume it is in some way symbolic of Akio, Anthy and Ohtori.

The Bird and the Window: Shiori and Juri

The bird that flies into the window during Shiori and Juri's conversation in episode 17 is a Java Sparrow. Despite its name, it is a part of the Estrildid Finch family, but I think the symbolism for sparrows fits the context more, as they can represent love, devotion and compainionship, all of which are very relevant for Juri and Shiori.

The bird is also the symbolic item for Shiori's black rose duel, which means we should associate the bird mainly with her. What, exactly, is the window, then? I think it is symbolic of Shiori's feelings for Juri, Juri's feelings for Shiori, or most likely both. The bird hits the window directly after Juri says "Is that all you have to say to me?" and turns to leave. The bird hits something it could not see in its flight, just as Shiori hits against something that hurts her, even if she doesn't understand it, in her conversation with Juri. The bird is shown to be lying still, presumably dead, after Juri reveals that she was never in love with the boy Shiori "stole" from her.

The bird is shown again after Juri throws her locket in the lake, and before Shiori finds it in her dorm. I've heard it discussed that this implies the bird retrieved the locket (probably through Anthy-as-Mamiya), and if the bird is symbolic of Shiori and the locket is symbolic of Juri's feelings for her, it would mean Shiori is the one to bring them back after Juri tries to rid herself of them. This makes sense.

The Bird Nest: Kozue and Miki

The bird nest that Kozue rescues from the tree that is going to be cut down is symbolic of her and Miki. Or, at least they are symbolic of how Kozue views the two of them. The comparison is pretty straightforward; Kozue projects her and Miki's feelings of abandonment onto these baby chicks, who have been left behind by their parents, just like the two of them were when their parents divorced. I think she projects her protectiveness over her brother moreso than her own feelings about the whole thing, as Kozue likes to think of herself as very independent ("a wild animal") and very unaffected by it all. As seen by her attempt to save the birds in the first place, she is very willing to put herself at risk, and is less concerned with her own feelings/safety.

Now, I don't want to get too much into speculation, but I have to wonder if there was more going on in the Kaoru family than just the divorce and the too-high expectations for the "twin prodigies." Miki's uncharacteristic cynicism in saying "adults who tell you something is for your own good can never be trusted," as well as Kozue's total disregard for authority and her tendency to use her sexuality as a tool both concern me. Although Miki and Kozue's parents are not explicitly shown to be abusive, I do not think it is a stretch to say that there is a possibility that they were. It explains some of Kozue's behaviour in regards to Miki as well. It's not just posesiveness but protectiveness. She has needed to protect him before, and she feels she needs to protect him still (pushing the predatory teacher down the stairs, saving the birds she sees his innocence in.)

Interestingly enough, Anthy interacts with these chicks as well. She advices Miki on how to feed and take care of them. Utena even comments on how unusually straight forward she's being about the whole thing. This might just be another instance of characterizing Anthy as a person who is fond of animals, and that is certainly part of it, but i think there is more to it as well. If these baby birds are symbolic of (Miki and Kozue's, but also a general) feeling of abandonment by parents/adults, as well as their potential abuse, what does that mean for Anthy not only knowing how to take care of them, but being eager to talk about it? Could it perhaps be that she, like Kozue, sees herself in them? Like Kozue, Anthy herself is symbolically a bird, but a caged one in contrast to Kozue's claims of being a wild animal. Could it be that Anthy has had to become an expert in taking care of those (herself) that have been abandoned or failed or abused by the adults in their lives? Rememeber that this is the same episode where she says that Akio is more like a father to her than a brother. A parallel is indirectly being drawn between him and the Kaoru parents.

If Miki and Kozue's parents were abusive, this might be a rare moment of Anthy empathising with other victims, telling them through metaphor how to take care of themselves. Although, it doesn't keep her from continuing to manipulate them, as she goes on to say her line about returning the chicks to their mother, which is what sets Kozue off. Anthy also says that she's never actually raised chicks before. Maybe she's not very good at taking care of them (herself) after all.

There's also what looks like two caged parakeets in Miki's flashback of their childhood. I assume this has similar meaning to Anthy's birdcage, as a feeling of being trapped, in this case by their parents' expectations for them. Kozue used to be a caged bird, but now claims to be a wild one, despite still being inside the birdcage that is Ohtori.

Brood Parasitism: Nanami and Touga (and Utena)

The Kaoru's are not the only sibling pair in Utena to be compared to birds. In Episode 31, Her Tragedy, a pretty unique shadow play is put on in the Chairman's Tower about a cuckoo leaving its egg in another bird's nest, a phenomenon known as brood parasitism. It also references the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen. Perhaps the most interesting part of this play is that it's done in the style of the ones in the black rose arc, with C-Ko playing all the roles, the return of the monkey-catching robot, and Utena's fourth-wall breaking commentary at the end. I won't get into what this means, as it doesn't have anything to do with the bird metaphor, but maybe in another post.

This shadow play is about how Nanami and Touga were adopted, and specifically about Nanami's feelings on the matter. Of course adopted children are not parasites, but it makes sense for Nanami to think along those lines, considering her fear of being compared to animals or aliens, and of being ostracized by the society she lives in. Nanami doesn't actually know that she is adopted, only that Touga is, which muddies that interpretation a little. Perhaps it is about Nanami blaming Touga's birth parents for "leaving him in another nest"? Something about her resentment of Touga at this point in time, thinking of him as a parasite in their family? Or simply her fear of what not being his blood-relative means.

I'm more confident about the Ugly Duckling reference, and it being symbolic of Nanami's worry of not fitting in among her peers. Nanami mainly copes with this by thinking that the reason she doesn't fit in, is because she is actually better than everybody else, because she's related to Touga (being a beautiful swan among the common ducks.) The play ends with the cuckoo insisting that it will become a swan one day, when really it can't. It will never be a duck that fits in, either. It will always just be what it is, a parasite (a space-alien. A girl who lays eggs.) This reflects Nanami's despair at the idea that she's "just another fly in the swarm" after her duel in the next episode.

And like all the shadow plays this one can be interpreted as being about Utena as well. She is an orphan who is now being raised in Akio and Anthy's "nest". Although she wasn't placed there by anyone but Akio himself, so it's more about her insecurities about feeling like an outsider in their family. And like the Ugly Duckling/cuckoo, she is also out of place among the rest of the students, and dreams of growing up to be something she can't actually become, in this case a prince. (credits to this analysis on the shadow plays for helping me piece together my thoughts on that. Always cite your sources!)

Cuckoos can also be symbolic of one-sided love, and is the origin of the word cuckoldry. Make of that what you will.

I should mention that Nanami also lays an egg of her own a few episodes prior. ...Or does she?

Her nightmare sequences show her fears of being compared to a chicken, a turtle, a frog, and of course, a space alien, but it is quite obviously a bird egg. And since we are later shown that Anthy has a chicken named Nanami, much like the cow with the same name, it can be assumed that the egg comes from there, and that Anthy brought it to Nanami's bed, perhaps via Chu-Chu. Could this relate to the brood parasitism of the cuckoo in some way? Is this not one bird (Anthy) laying its egg in another bird's (Nanami's) nest (bed) and getting them to raise it? is this what Anthy means when she tells Miki she has never personally raised chicks? Are all of these metaphors connected??? There's also the fan-theory that Nanami's egg hatched a reincarnated Chu-Chu, and in that case would he be the baby cuckoo while Anthy is the mother and Nanami is the duck? I'll be honest I'm not really sure what to make of it at this point. Draw whatever conclusion you want!

Last and probably least interesting is the third of Nanami associated bird imagery: the crow in episode 10. Crows can be symbolic of death, and it feels safe to say that this one is just here to set the mood of the scene, and as visual confirmation that the kitten did indeed die. Not too much to say there.

The Chicken and the Egg: The Student Council

I'd be remiss if i didn't mention the student council's chicken and egg speech in this post as well, even if it has been analyzed to hell and back by hundreds of people before me. It is a reference to Hermann Hesse's book Demian. It is about breaking out of childhood and into adulthood. It is about escaping Ohtori, which is both the egg and the cage (and interestingly enough, during the speech birds can be seen flying by outside the cage of the elevator.) In Nanami's version of the egg speech she mentions "the cage of freedom" and how it cares for the chick. This something that ideally should be true for schools. A place that limits children, but in a way that prepares them for the adult world. Of course, Ohtori as a system has no interest in this, as it is a cage in its most literal sense: a place to keep people trapped. Trapped in their harmful behaviours, in their lack of growth, in their idealized memories of the past, and most of all, in childhood.

And with that, we have come full circle back to Anthy's birdcage as a symbol for all of Ohtori. Thanks for reading :)

[weepingwillowwonder]

May I request an Alastor x Male!reader

I’ll let you decide the plot and such,

Love your work btw!!

Hi there anon!! Thank you so much for your support & your request!! :3 Also so sorry it's taken me so long to respond!!! (I've unfortunately been sick the past few days, but I'm now feeling better! whoohoo!)

Anyway! I hope this is what you're looking for~

Alastor x M!Reader [NSFW!! MDNI!!!]

CW: Dom!Alastor, Sub!Reader, "Stimulation" of Alastor's microphone/staff/cane (?), Brief handjob (receiving), "Finishing" fully clothed, Tiny bit of plot

---

The relationship between you and the radio demon was quite peculiar. You definitely weren't a couple, surely not friends, and yet you spent a questionable amount of time together. Always coming and going with him to and from the hotel, everywhere he was, you would follow. This instance was quietly explored by the hotel's guests as they talked behind the scenes, eyes curious as to exactly who or what you were to Alastor. 

Naturally, no one would boldly ask the question directly to him, knowing that he wouldn’t take such prying kindly. Besides, he’d never give away such a well kept secret anyway, so that left you. However, on the rare occasions you were seemingly alone and received some form of the question 'what is your relationship with Alastor?' The conversation was cut short either by you suddenly needing to leave...or the radio demon himself summoning you. Thus your relations remained a secret, known only to him and yourself.

Today in a similar turn of events, Alastor had called your name from where you happened to be seated at the hotel's bar. With no hesitation, you nod to the other residents as you depart from them and ascend the stairs, following along. He quietly led you along the corridors, almost as if he had an invisible leash attached to you. When you approach his room, he opens the door for you like the gentleman he is, and offers for you to go ahead first. Once you both move inside, you hear the click of the lock and wait for his next command. 

You were no stranger to Alastor's room, as you were a frequent visitor. You find yourself standing out of his way as you wait for his instruction, hands clasped together politely behind your back, buzzing slightly in anticipation. He takes his time shuffling around, discarding his blazer on a nearby chair, slowly rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. When he turns his back to grab an alcoholic beverage from a nearby shelf, you shift your weight restlessly. 

His ears twitch slightly at the sound of your rustling clothes and speaks without turning around, “My my…You must not have learned anything from our previous sessions, you impatient little thing.” You straighten up immediately at his voice, head hanging low at the mocking tone. He finally sits himself down on the small couch and looks up at you, spreading his legs wide. Pointing to the ground in front of him, he speaks in a commanding voice, “Sit.”

Showing some semblance of self control you quickly, but gracefully, bring yourself to your knees at his feet. Eyes still glued to the floor, you watch as he brings the end of his extended microphone staff to the side of your thigh, tapping slightly. You take the cue and spread your legs wider, feeling your member twitch to life as you put yourself on display for him. “Oh good, maybe you are capable of following directions today. Tell me,” He looks at the drink in his hand, the faint sound of ice clinking against the glass fills the air. Using his other hand, he brings the end of his microphone to drag against the inside of your thigh, “Have we discussed interacting with the other residents before?”

Your head snaps up, panicked eyes finding his. You swallow down nothing as your throat gets dry, mouth opening like a fish out of water but no sound comes out. Did you do something wrong? He chuckles at your frightened expression and takes a sip of his drink, moving the microphone to your center. It doesn’t take much before you feel the blood begin to rush between your legs.  “If I remember correctly, I don’t recall giving you permission to entertain their curiosity. Even so with trivial matters such as our relationship. Hah, how silly…!” 

He slowly drags the microphone along the outline of your pants, gently putting pressure against you. “I wasn’t...” You start, getting flustered as you’re very quickly turned on by his actions. Alastor rarely touched you, even less so like this. “They were just asking…But I didn’t tell, d-didn’t say anything I swear…” You breath out, hips jumping to follow the stimulation. He pulls away when you begin to move, a smug smile tugs on his lips when you sigh in frustration. The growing hardness in your pants makes it difficult to sit still, hands twitching impatiently at your sides.

Alastor eyes you carefully above the rim of his glass as he takes another sip before bringing his microphone back to the now straining fabric of your pants. “Mm. How odd then to have Angel Dust ask me if he can borrow my assistant for extracurricular activities.” His microphone is outright stroking you now, an even motion along your length teasing you just enough to keep you needy but not enough to finish you off. 

“Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t find it strange for him to ask such a…lewd question. However..” He finds the sensitive tip of your length easily, marked by the darkening spot on your slacks where you were leaking with arousal. He takes his time circling the area, making you grit your teeth. “...you can imagine my surprise when he brings up having you collared and on a leash.”  He spits out, his usual smile tightening dangerously. Your eyes close as you not only struggle to remain still, but also as you try to remember this exact conversation. 

You know you shouldn’t...You know that you’re already in deep waters, but the feeling of your cock throbbing, stuck behind the sticky fabric that rubs just perfectly when he uses the microphone to touch you has your head spinning. Your breath quickens as your fingers move to so slightly skim along yourself to relieve some of the pressure... “Alastor, sir, plea-” You try to beg, moaning out his name only to immediately go silent as the chain being pulled around your neck suddenly yanks you forward. Your eyes go wide and you choke down the whimper that threatens to escape as distorted static hits your ears. Alastor quickly reaches his free hand down to fully grip your length tightly,  “If you value this, I suggest you remain still and be silent.” 

For a moment everything was still. It almost seemed as if Alastor realized what had happened before you did. He watches as your body trembles beneath him, eyes rolling back, lips slightly parted in bliss. All you can hear is your heartbeat pounding in your ears and the heavy sound of you trying to catch your breath. The warm feeling of him holding you is too much to handle after the prolonged teasing and your hips arch forward to seek the friction against his hand. And despite the warning to not move, you can’t help the way your hips slightly jerk as you desperately rut against him, begging in a string of apologies.

In a moment of forgiveness, his hand pumps you slowly, milking you of your release, watching the mess accumulate in your pants. “Filthy.” He mutters disappointedly wiping his hand on a napkin nearby. “It seems you do need another lesson in self control after all.”