#not having a car or license etc and part time jobs it’s been really easy to just

[lilgynt]

i think it’s real big of me to have a whole paranoia surrounding the number 23 bc of superstition final destination and delusions and then having the worst year of my life in 2023 while ALSO turning 23 and my only take is away is wow 23 was impactful age for me. also 17 year old me would not take any of this news well at all

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

 Ok guys its finally finished!!

Introducing the last two main families in my anxciet au!

Please meet the princes

The Prince family

( from left to right)

Rebecca Prince

The boys’s Mother, goes by the names Mother, Ma, and Bec-bec

Her and Diana have been married for 7 years at this point, and been together for about 10(they met and started dating on and off since high school until they got back together permanently during college)

Punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom-

She raised roman on her own for his first year before remus was born, in which she started dating Diana again more seriously

She majored in nursing and later in  sociology in college before dropping out to take care of her boys and raise them right

Shes currently going back to school for the sociology degree inbetween her current job

She works as nurse and receptionist at a doctors office in town

Shes in her mid forties current time( where roman is 22, remus is 21, and kingley is 14)

Shes a pretty tough love kinda parent, and doesnt mind rough housing with her boys when they get too out of line and rowdy( they all enjoy the playfullness of it)

But compared to Diana she is not the scary when angry parent, and she can actually be pretty lenient with the boys depending on the situation

She also tends to be the one who gives into their requests and in kingley’s case, puppy eyes, though she puts on a tough front when she does

Rebecca is such a softie for her family I just i cant she loves them so much

She makes dad jokes just to annoy and embarrass her sons, but only makes either classic dad jokes or purposely really bad ones

100% supportive of her older boys’s relationships, and loves to tease Roman about Patton all the time

She also enjoys building things, and helped build the play structure and treehouse that are in the backyard.

Shes probably the reason Remus has no filter, as she has little filter herself

Her hair is naturally honey brown but she dyed it recently to make a statement to a shitty coworker so currently her hair is purple blue and pink

Shes usually pretty reserved around anyone thats not her family, so its a bit of a shock when people see her playful and rowdy compared to her reserved, professional front

Remus prince

The middle child at 21 but hey he can (legally) drink!

Wild feral trash man no matter what, but now hes got a switchblade and two brothers hed fucking kill for( though he wont admit it about roman)

Hes dating Logan and shows a slightly softer side to him only, and hes ride or die with his boyfriend

He tried college but it didnt suit him, so he ended up dropping out and instead getting two part time jobs: one as a vet assistant and one as a bartender, both located near his current apartment

Hes been best friends with Ethen for as long as he can remember, they grew up together and he considers Ethen a brother practically, and remus would probably be in a bad place without him and Remus recognizes this

He has a love for theater and acting that he shares with his older brother Roman and was in pretty much every school performance growing up, and even majored in theater for a bit when he was in college

He also writes alot of original short horror stories 

Hes an adrenaline junkie and loves doing reckless things for the fun of it( usually dragging Ethen or Logan along with him)

He doesnt have a youtube channel of his own but he pops up frequently enough on Ethen’s channel when joining him for explorations that Ethen’s subscribers know him well, and love seeing him in videos

Hes only got two filter and their names are Logan and Ethen 

He wants to get a snakes as pets just as much as Ethen but Their apartment has strict rules 

That did not however stop him from bringing home a in rehabilitation small fresh water turtle home from work one day, and its the only exception to the no pets rule because Remus fought tooth and nail over the fact it was part of his JOB DAMMIT HES KEPPING THE TURTLE IT NEEDS CONSTANT CARE--

ahem. anyway the turtles name is Sir snappy and he adores her

He LOVES teasing both his brothers, even if it means getting teased back he can usually take what he dishes out

usually.

He also has a drivers license but does not currently have a car as he is trying to save up to buy a motorcycle 

Kingley “King” Prince

The youngest of the family!! The also the shortest!!

He goes by the nickname “ King” and has for a couple years now

Hes fourteen and hes very upbeat and cheerful!

Hes also one of Andy’s best friends( He isnt crushing on andy dont listen to remus) and theyve been friends since second grade

Did I mention that they have sleepovers as often as they can? Because they try to. Usually King, andy, and Liam are nearly glued to the hips unless they cant be

Hes got a wild imagination and lots of ideas that he loves to share and try to put out as songs, stories, drawings, etc

He has severe ADHD and takes medication to help him narrow his focus more, as well as to keep his energy levels more consistent so he wouldnt be hugely energetic in the morning and dull and falling asleep by noon. But the medication doesnt effect his creativity sometimes it even helps boost it because he can focus better on his ideas instead of getting too many ideas at once to focus on and work on

His hair has blonde highlights in the winter and looks nearly fully blonde in the summer

Hes got his mama’s caramel brown eyes and tanner skin, as apposed to his ma’s more peachy skin and green eyes

This boy loves to wrestle and roughhouse, hes got alot of energy that needs to be ran out by bedtime and what better way then wrestling his older brothers for the tv remote when they visit? Or playing games at the park or in the backyard until the sun goes down 

He also loves to sing and draw, he can usually be caught humming and you can find doodles all over his homework and school assignments

He also got braces when he was 12 and he loves them and always gets new colors for them as often as he can convinces his parents to agree to

Roman Prince

The eldest brother at 22!

He works at the local theater as a theater tech and assistant director and also performs in a good chunk of the plays put on as well

He loves his job, especially when they put on musicals

He has a college degree in directing and one in music composing

Hes known his boyfriend patton since they were kids since their families are really close, 

He also writes his own short plays and stories that are sometimes performed at his work!!

Oh and this boy our boy roman can cook, hes learned all his cooking from his parents and absolutely loves cooking and learning new recipes and experimenting with old recipes! He also brings extra food into work to share with his coworkers and the actors in case someone doesnt have food with them or the money to buy something( as some of the workers there are broke college students or high schools trying to get experience) He and Patton share this hobby and sometimes have playful cooking competitions in their kitchen!!

Hes got a huge dvd collection that fills tree shelves of a bookshelf in their apartment 

He also holds some acting lessons to younger workers at the theater in the case someone is struggling with a role or performace

Roman is also a very smooth motherfucker in the romace department when he wants to be. Hes romantic and pays alot of to little details and goes all out for date nights, whether theyre at home dates or going out dates he tries to make it as perfect to you as possible

Also he speaks spanish and likes to sing to Patton in spanish to swoon him on a bad day

Diana Prince

The boys’s other mother! Goes by Mama, Mum, and baba

Shes in her late thirties early fourties

did I mention theyve been married for years? I did? Good good

Diana is a blunt sweetheart with a bubbly, snappy personallity and a fiery temper

Shes really good with kids and has a degree in child psychology and works as a guidance counselor at the local high school

She also helps out at their neighborhood’s church with events and sometimes helps with services as an organ player

She plays piano and has been since she was young, she can also play the guitar

She absolutely adores her family but watch out if they break a rule or get themselves into trouble she is the stern one and does not let them get out of trouble. Puppy eyes are wasted on her you do the crime you do the time and the extra chores no arguing.

That is not to say that she wont listen and hear her boys out though, its just normally after hearing them out theyre still in the wrong( pray for remus is he ever got arrested for anything cough cough the homecoming incident cough cough)

Shes been friends with Emile since high school and sees his boys almost like her own, and cares for them as such. 

She speaks spanish and told Roman and the others from a young age, but Roman is the only one who kept with it strongly, Remus only uses it when he angry and King is still learning

Shes an amazing cook, on par or even better than Emile( a statement that has been yet to be confirmed)

She is also a confirmed lover of making big meals 

She loves being outdoors and playing with her kids

She also enjoys doing embroidery as a relaxing hobby

And lastly introducing...

The Daniel family!!

(from left to right)

Olivia Daniels

Logan and Liam’s mom! Shes a psychology professor at the local college! 

Shes been going by the name Olivia for about 16 almost 17 years now and shes never been happier!

Olivia is technically their step mother, as she joined the family after Logan and Liam were born, but very early in their lives( Logan was 10 and Liam was three)

shes in her mid thirties

Her and richard have been married for 12 years and are still going strong!!

olivia is more of a gentle soul kinda person, shes peppy and softer spoken and has a very soothing and trusting presence to her. Shes easy to make laugh and loves making people smile

She also enjoys bringing treats to her classes for her overworking students

Shes not much of a cook but she does try dammit

Looks super sweet but shes a force to be reckoned with if you fuck with her children let me tell you

She wouldve made an excellent therapist had she gone into that field, shes good at listening and offering solutions

She also paints in her spare time!! And sells her paintings at local art shows!!

Shes got the worst sweet tooth ever Richard has to hide sweets in the house

She also works at the same college Logan attends, same with his father

Shes the only blonde in the family with green eyes

 Logan Daniels

Out sassy skeptic! He’s 20 years old and currently attending college with a biology major and a astrology minor!

Hes pretty reserved at first glance, being the calm and common sense to both his best friend Virgil and his boyfriend Remus

But hes such a dork when you get to know him. He could go on for hours and hours about his interests(something Remus loves listening to)

He lives in a single person dorm on campus and works in the student union as well as does tutoring sessions for high schools for extra credits

Hes been dating Remus for a good four almost five years , and they met in freshman year of high school

His dorm room is covered in various posters for astrology and bands he enjoys, as well as a few old theater posters from Remus’s old performances

He was  goddamn punk during high school, and Virgil loves to bring this up to embarrass him

He likes to always wear business casual unless hes staying in, and even then sometimes he keeps to his fashion habits a little too hard

Hes a decent cook, but he doesnt refuse the offer of someone else cooking for him either( or even going out to eat now and then) 

Hes a very large and firm skeptic and greatly enjoys debating with virgil different aspects of his beliefs and paranormal experiences, and functions as the one between them to reason away happenings with logic as a way to ease Virgils nerves. 

But he IS willing to see his best friends side of things if he is provided solid proof. 

He also makes plenty of appearances on Virgil’s channel for a variety of reasons, and his fanbase really likes him

Hes also a very protective older brother, and is not afraid to verbal destroy anyone who hurts his little brother(much to Liams angsty horror) 

He does have a car that he put Remus on his insurance for, so if his boyfriend ever DID need to drive it he would without complications

Logan also does join the boys on explorations, though this is a more rare occurance as he’d rather help them edit the videos and put them out in a timely manner

Hes pretty good at managing his student budget, but he has those moments of splurging randomly for things( as we all do sometimes)

Hes got a really REALLY nice laugh that not too many people outside his inner circle have heard

His eyes are a dark blue just like his dads, and he keeps his dark brown hair messy but practical

Liam Daniels

Logan’s baby brother! Our boy is 13 years old!!

Hes andy’s other best friend, and the final link to their little trio

Hes the more stoic of the three, as he is entering his rebellious angsty teen years a couple years early. 

He loves space and the ocean, and wants to be a marine biologist someday.

Hes not the best at being social, thats why hes got King as their talker and hes the snarky fighter

This boi is alot fiestier than he looks but only his friends and family know that, and he will throw down if you even just look at his loved ones the wrong way( despite his height)

He doesnt always get social cues either which makes him come off kinda rude in situations but I promise he doesnt mean it 

Someone got his mothers sweet tooth but cant have too much sugar because it messes with his body too much

like when he crashes from a sugar high he crashes hard and its BAD

Hes the shortest of his friends, just barely half an inch shorter than Andy

He always looks half tired and like he needs coffee but he cant have coffee so...

he loves to read and his room is filled with so many books!!

He also has a stuffed animal collection but shush about that its a secret

Hes also a spicy food lover( at least to a point, nothing too extreme) 

He likes baggier clothes because theyre more comfortable, and he prefers comfort of fashion

His eyes are a brighter blue and he keeps his hair alot neater than his brother’s

Hes also very snappy, with a comeback for almost everything

Richard Daniels

The dad!! He works as a chemistry professor at the college and a part time physics teacher at the local high school( switching days)

Hes very tall at 6′2(compared to the rest of his family)

He looks really strict but hes surprisingly laid back about alot of things( though rules and discipline are NOT one of those things) 

He is in his early fourties

He took care of the boys on his own for logans first ten years and Liams three before he met Olivia

Hes got the scolding parent look and The Tone mastered and sometimes even uses both on his students to get them to behave, with wildly successful results

Hes very logical and skeptical of things “unrealistic”

Was a stressed out stick in the mud before he met his wife, as he was a new single father trying to secure tennure in a teacher job

Hes the cook in the house, and is really good at it.

hes a more silent understood supporter of his children, as he is much more reserved than his wife

But he as the biggest soft spot for her 

He always tries to raise his boys with a strong balanced set of values and manners

He also can play lacrosse, and was considered the best player back in school

He doesnt have a good relationship with his family aside from his mother, so the boys have only met their grandma on that side, as he doesnt want any toxic mindsets or ideals influencing his children( especially Liam)

compared to Olivia  he isnt soft spoken at all but he would rather dissolve issues with communication and clarification, not anger or violence( yeah LIAM)

He also enjoys watching documentaries and doing casual photography from time to time

And its finally done!! All for families are complete and posted!!

Im really proud of these!! Especially the prince family photo! It took me days to figure out the poses...

All art referenced is credited to @aimasup @underdog-arts and @fangirltothefullest !!

Anyway i hope you guys enjoy! And hopefully soon ill be posting some writings for this au too! And posting more drawings! Enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@strawberryjellystuff

@aimasup

@unsocialchapeau

@underdog-arts

@fangirltothefullest

[xofaddiction]

                            𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖆𝖜 𝖆𝖌𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖙 𝖍𝖎𝖘                              𝖋𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜 𝖒𝖆𝖓 𝖎𝖘 𝖊𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖆 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖈𝖔𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖉.                                𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖙𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖎𝖒𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋                                          𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖑𝖆𝖜 𝖎𝖘 𝖇𝖔𝖙𝖍.                                         𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖜𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖉 𝖒𝖆𝖓 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑                                              𝖘𝖆𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖆𝖘𝖘𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖙:                                            "𝖎𝖋 𝖎 𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖐𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚,                                          𝖎𝖋 𝖎 𝖉𝖎𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖓."                                           𝖘𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖎𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖗.

full name:  cyrus rousseau nicknames: cy, lieutenant, ruoss, etc. age:  36 date of birth:  jun. 11 zodiac: gemini gender:  male pronouns: he/him sexuality:  bisexual

physical

hair color: dark brown eye color: hazel height: 6′1″ weight: 180 lbs

personality

morality:  lawful evil positive traits: charming, inquisitive, intelligent, attentive, strong-willed negative traits: restless, easily bored, moody, fickle, short-tempered, job: manager of rousseau’s  skills: adaptable, strong, combat trained, artillery trained.

family

parents: valentina and louis rousseau. siblings: blake and audrey rousseau. niece: aria rousseau.

backstory and details - ＴＲＩＧＧＥＲ     ＷＡＲＮＩＮＧ :                                       war, murder, violence

                                       ✴   ✴   ✴   ✴   ✴   ✴    ✴   ✴   ✴    

first born to louis rousseau and his young, model wife valentina, cyrus was another strapping heir to a line indebted to the o’sheas, albeit far behind others. a strong boy with a sturdy will and an even stronger mind, cyrus was a beloved child, doted on by his mother for his looks and encouraged by his father to be the best he could be in every aspect of his life as the second man in the rousseau family.

an o’shea general, their father wasn’t shy about bringing his children along when it was time to set the wrong things right. cyrus could recall on many occasions where his father returned to their car, knuckles bloody, stoic and firm with a word of advice and warning on what to look for in weaker men as he grew older.

always taught that nothing could hurt him unless he gave it license to, cyrus was rambunctious and foolhardy, always flooded with a charm and wit. paired with his keen instinct for sparring and ways of outsmarting those his senior, he had a knack for mischief from the start.

fear is a fickle thing in the eyes of a walsh general’s son; ever changing, always political and fluctuating in immediacy and relevancy. still, there was one fear that remained constant; losing those he loved.

more often than not it was a distant, almost irrelevant fear; one that had no place among conscious thought. at least until he gained two younger siblings, well into his life. after they came, he felt a need to step up and be there for them in a different way than parents ever could. he wanted to be the trusted confidant, the one they came to for help before they went to their parents; the reliable brother that loved them fiercely and with everything he had in him. cyrus cared for them beyond all others; no one matters to him half as much as they do.

moving through years in elementary and middle school, cyrus was popular, charming, well known and well liked, but could tip attitude at the drop of the hat. the moment he was provoked, his wrath came out and found the object of his rage. that indignation, the anger within him, and the willingness to hit first and worry later landed him in and out of detention and even one instance of juvenile arrest.

his mother, more often than not, let the discipline thereafter be dealt with by his father. she loved him, he knew, she just wasn’t the most tolerant woman of the inner workings of a child’s mind, especially one as privileged as her son was.

it seemed worthwhile to louis to enroll young cyrus into boxing classes; he needed discipline and anger management, maybe even to get his ass knocked to the ground every now and again to keep him humble. not only did his fortunes improve, but so did his ability to work past his issues with rage.

a stand out feature of his youth was taking note of his mother’s descent from being a mother with him, to a friend with his brother, and all but an acquaintance with his younger sister. he hated how passive she became, how lacking she was in her attitudes toward her children.

once in training, his studies soared, both academically and in boxing. high school couldn’t have been easier. he was popular as ever, a shining example of what one should be; respectful, protective, intelligent, and above all; engaging. everyone seemed to want him as a friend or a fuck, and cyrus saw nothing wrong with it.

on occasion, there were times he’d take it too far in the boxing ring, move too fiercely and endanger others training around him. cyrus found it far too easy to fight dirty. He liked the snap of bone beneath his knuckles, or the squelch of sweat as a body hit the octagon beneath him.  chastised for his behavior and willingness to act out of line, cyrus knew the behavior had to cease. collecting outlets for his anger, he took the advice of his coach and started to write.

he wasn’t good at it, or particularly knowledgeable in the rules of prose, but writing was his therapy. it was the only sympathy he afforded himself to have, and soon the bookshelves in his bedrooms were heavily lined with journals filled cover to cover with simple-minded musings, thoughts, and reports of the days where he could barely tell sunrise from bedtime. 

after high school graduation, cyrus decided he’d go the way of the navy. he wanted to make his parents and siblings proud; a noble son that learned the noble art of war. leaving them all behind would hurt, but it would be worth it in the long run. who better to protect his family than a man with all the skills of a trained, combat killing machine?

cyrus signed up when he was 18 and shipped off to basic not long after. nothing shaped his fears for the future quite like the fall of the world trade center in 2001. watching live from a tv in the cafeteria in his senior year of high school; he could recall the tension in the air; everyone in that room knew the wars they spent so much time learning about were now outside their very windows.

he was too tired, he had lived through and seen so much, and despite it all he looked forward to seeing his sister. when he was on his first tour overseas, he took a spare moment to reflect on his family and how much he really missed them. finally, he had time to call home and was soon after met with the news that their mother left. he hadn’t felt a true rage like that in all the months he’d been at war; his efforts were usually better spent. 

after the start of the iraq war, cyrus was sent into active combat and shipped overseas to afghanistan. he was a part of two tours, the latter of which was cut short by the detonation of an ied. his left leg was shattered and though they were able to salvage the limb, it wasn’t without extensive surgery and the implantation of a steel rod. cyrus received a purple heart for his action in the service and was honorably discharged and left to return home as a decorated veteran.

by the time he returned to chicago, he had seen too much on his tours, fought and killed and his rage was tripled tenfold. the brothers and sisters he cherished in the service had been lost, killed, or moved on. cyrus felt as if part of him was left out there, far from where he was in chicago.

when he had gone off to war, he worried for his siblings. upon his return, they worried for him; many years his juniors, they couldn’t have been more than twelve and ten respectively. the first fourth of july home was a noted one in the rousseau family. at the first thundering echo of a firework detonating in the sky, cyrus ran and tackled his siblings to the ground and covered their heads. It was a snap instinct, one that came with the echo of bombs overhead.

soon after, he was encouraged to see a therapist through the local va. diagnosed with ptsd as many veterans are, the therapist had an almost sickeningly positive outlook on cyrus’s prognosis. it seemed he was one of the few she believed in to pull himself out of the binds of a mental illness.

after a few sessions, his therapist encouraged him to get a service animal. after signing up and getting his certifications for a service animal taken care of, he adopted a rottweiler puppy. he named him LOOMIS.

however, there is no one can fake a fantasy like the son of a model. outwardly, cyrus was still charming, still personable, and most of all: still lethal. writing did precious little to staunch his emotions, but fighting did. though his training was limited compared to what it had been when he was a kid, he rejoined the local boxing gym and threw himself into the ring. the adrenaline pumping through his veins, the echoes that stirred his memories of war, the numbing catharsis that came after the bell rang all felt like coming home. it seemed the more violent the outburst, the more he felt at home.

there was nothing out of the realm of possibility for cyrus and his tastes; sleeping around, drinking, partying, fighting, living the reckless life of a daredevil whenever given the chance. joining the o’sheas after his father was a move that made sense. every risky behavior was lidocaine on a burn, a cool soothing menthol that eased the scald of emotions he’d rather not feel. binge after binge, everything started to blur together- no obligation, no feeling, nothing but the bed of a woman who would have him.

when he carried out what was asked of him as an initiation, he did so quickly, cleanly, and concisely. after all he’d seen on the plane of war, the carnage came as second nature. it made sense to do it for the sake of the family he claimed.

like all fears, his soon became realized. their father disappeared. though cyrus searched, he quickly lost hope they would ever find their father alive. he had seen enough in the service to know that if someone was gone for long enough, the’d never come back. with this effectuation of his father’s fate in mind, it became all too apparent to cyrus that everything changed.

cyrus couldn’t afford to be a mess in front of his siblings or in front of the walsh’s. he was the theoretical head of the rousseau’s. he would be their protector, and do everything in his power to ensure their safety and happiness. it felt as though everything fell to him; he could not be anything less than the man his father.

[mobilemechanicsabq]

Best Light Bar Installation Service and Cost in Albuquerque NM | Mobile Mechanics of Albuquerque

More information is at:

http://mobilemechanicalbuquerque.org/light-bar-installation-near-me/

Are you looking for Light Bar Installation service near Albuquerque NM? Mobile Mechanics of Albuquerque,offers full service sales, service and installation for your fleet vehicles. From light bars to accessory lights, from consoles to computer mounts, from radios to sirens, from partitions to gun racks.Cost? Free estimates! Send us a message or call us today. BestLight Bar Installation Service around Albuquerque NM.We serve Albuquerque NMand other areas. Get a Free Quote Now!

 LIGHT BAR INSTALLATION SERVICE IN ALBUQUERQUE NM

ALBUQUERQUE LIGHT BAR INSTALLATION

Light Bar Installation service near Albuquerque NM:Mobile Mechanics of Albuquerque is located in Albuquerque NM which is centrally located in Albuquerque NM and less than a 45 minute ride from Albuquerque NM. We worked on all types of vehicles from older/vintage police cars to the new Interceptor series. Our work has also been done on various non-police vehicles that are used as undercover/surveillance vehicles, ATV’s , motorcycles, fire trucks, ambulances, first responders as well as volunteer private vehicles.

When an installation is scheduled to be done, it is!! Vehicles are not held for weeks until we get to it. Call or email your request for quotation or further information that you may need.

For the Construction and Utility Industries, Mobile Mechanics of Albuquerque offers the opportunity to update your older amber equipment as well as making your vehicles and employees safer on the road.

Mobile Mechanics of Albuquerque offers full service sales, service and installation for your fleet vehicles. From light bars to accessory lights, from consoles to computer mounts, from radios to sirens, from partitions to gun racks. We carry over 50 manufacturers of emergency equipment and related products.

Types of light bars

Light bars generally have an aluminum housing and polycarbonate lens and come in various lengths and wattages. They can be as short as 10cm and as long as 127cm, and come in 3, 5 or 10w variants. They can come in single or double stack versions with straight or curved bars.

Light bars will commonly have a dual beam option which means you can select between flood or spotlight beams. The flood beam offers a broader spread while the spot offers greater forward reach. Light bars don’t offer the same forward range of beam as some driving lights but they can provide a wider beam, greater visibility for slow off-road driving and better illumination than standard headlights.

Narva, Ironman 4x4, Dura Vision, Great White and XRay Vision all offer a range of light bars. They will generally come with a two- to five-year warranty and can be dustproof, waterproof and vibration resistant. It really does come down to what suits your requirements and how deep your pocket goes. They can get quite expensive.

Reasons for installing a light bar

●      Better visibility at night

●      Popular option

●      Off-road terrain driving

●      Better visibility of animals on the road

●      More efficient lighting

Who can install light bars?

It is recommended that a qualified auto electrician install light bars. Whenever any aftermarket electrical components are being fitted, the job should be done by an expert. This ensures correct fitment and no nasty electrical surprises down the road.

A professional will also know the laws in your state or territory and install accordingly. Light bar suppliers may also have qualified staff on hand and offer an installation service. Make sure the installers are qualified to fit electrical components.

 Benefits of Light Bars

Light Bar Installation service near Albuquerque NM:Perhaps you haven’t thought about putting a light bar on your vehicle. Perhaps you have seen them on other vehicles and questioned their capabilities. A light bar can greatly enhance your outdoor experience and here I will give you 5 reasons why a light bar may be one of the most beneficial upgrades to your vehicle.

So, when do you need a light bar?

1. Low visibility conditions.

In this photo i was travelling with a group of friends in the desert, going down dirt roads, whoops, silt beds etc. A light bar in dusty conditions like this, helps you stay visible and avoid getting smashed. LED whips are handy for this as well. Safety is a huge reason to have a light bar. They allow you to see and be seen better than factory headlights. This keeps you from wrecking your vehicle, smashing into your friends rig, etc. (side note: don’t mount the light bar to your hood. It affects visibility, and looks dumb. I was in a hurry to get to King of the Hammers. Last minute prep. LOL)

2. Night time Adventures.

This brings back great memories for me, it was my very first trip to King of the Hammers. It’s like a huge off-road show in the desert that everyone participates in. My mind was blown by all the different rigs and builds out there. There was lots of night wheeling, and driving from obstacle to obstacle. When rock crawling at night in a group it’s nice to be able to see what you are doing. Being able to light up an obstacle people are attempting, makes it better for everyone. Spectators can see what is going on, the driver can see where his tires are going, and if something does happen to go wrong, it takes some of the guesswork out of recovery.

3. Traveling at night

Light bars can turn night into day, it’s actually really amazing what this technology does. The vehicle I drive to work on my commute will always have a good quality light bar on it. Where I live in Colorado there are lots of deer and elk on the road and on my hour long commute at 3am, there are usually more of them than there is oncoming traffic. These guys love to dart in front of you last minute, destroying your vehicle. The best practice is to see them as far ahead of you as possible and slow down safely to avoid them. Of course, as soon as I see oncoming traffic I quickly switch the light bar off since a side effect of awesome lights is that they can blind oncoming traffic. Be responsible.

4. Family Exploration

Travelling the dirt roads at night looking for a campsite, make a light bar priceless. You can usually see at least four times as much as standard headlights. Being able to see makes setting up tents, cooking, and getting situated in the dark much less painful. On the way there, you may even get to see some wildlife without modifying the front of your vehicle. LOL. Also handy for driving to work at 3:00 AM.

5. Transportation and Recovery

●      Backing up a trailer at night

●      Loading a vehicle at night

●      Vehicle rescues and recoveries

The reasons for getting a light bar are the same as those for adding any extra lights on your vehicle. However, light bars are typically less expensive, easier on your vehicle’s system and still just as effective.

Not after a light bar install?

No worries. Mobile Mechanics of Albuquerque can help you with nearly anything your car needs! From basic services to major repairs, we can get you super-quick, fixed-price quotes from awesome, high-quality local mechanics. The best bit is that you can do it all online, from searching to booking. It’s easy!

 TIPS

Light Bar Installation service near Albuquerque NM:

Keep these steps in mind for every installation.

●      Bench test everything prior to installation.

●      Do not over tighten hardware.

●      Keep all lights and wires away from moving parts.

●      Keep all lights and wires away from high heat sources, brake components, exhaust components, coolant systems.

●      Double check proper aiming to yield the best results.

●      Secure wiring to avoid damage.

●      Fuse all connections within 18" of battery/power source.

 COST

How Much Does It Cost To Install A Light Bar?

Light Bar Installation Cost

Light Bar Installation service near Albuquerque NM:The cost to install light bars under cabinets ranges from $330 to $400 under favorable conditions. This includes mounting the fixtures, adding a low-voltage transformer and routing cable from the transformer to the lights. The electrician also needs to install a branch circuit receptacle for the transformer.

LED Light Installation Cost

The cost of installing a single LED light strip depends on the LED installers in your area. It typically requires one hour for an average cost of $125, assuming you have a complete kit with transformer and wiring. Each strip covers about 10 linear feet.

Cost to Install a Light Fixture

The national average cost of installing a light fixture is about $498. The typical cost ranges from $151 and $855. Small, simple fixtures can cost as little as $75 to $100, while chandeliers, recessed lighting and more intricate setups can get as high as $2,200.

Labor comprises the majority of the cost to install lighting fixtures. Most of these projects require a licensed electrician for safety and to ensure the wiring is up to code. The total cost of lighting installation is easier to predict once you have the labor estimate from a professional electrician.

Lighting Installation Cost by Fixture Type

Fixture type is the most significant factor for the material cost of lighting installation. Simple fixtures cost less than $100, while expensive fixtures like recessed lighting and intricate can cost up to $1,000. The space that a fixture requires varies greatly, so you should check these measurements before making any purchases. An electrician should also ensure that the fixture’s electrical requirements are compatible with the power available at that location.

Cost to Install Ceiling Lights

Installing ceiling lights typically requires an hour or two per fixture, regardless of the fixture type. The installation cost therefore depends on the electrician’s hourly rate, resulting in a total installation cost between $90 and $230.

Ceiling lights are the most common type of lighting fixture, especially for older homes. These lights mount to a metal box that’s secured to overhead studs or joists. This box is then connected to in-house wiring, which may also include a switch. Traditional mountings for ceiling lights include half domes and chandeliers, which may attach to ceilings fans. Ceiling lights aren’t typically recessed.

 FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Where can I get a light bar installed?

Since we ship the lights to you, we don’t offer an installation service. If you need assistance with installation, then we would recommend taking your vehicle and the light bar you purchased to a nearby mechanic so they can install them professionally. This shouldn’t take more than an hour and they will be done to a standard that you can trust. It can be fairly expensive to do this especially if you don’t visit the mechanic very often. If you know the mechanic, then they might even do this for free.

 Why should I add light bars to my truck?

One of the places that people commonly put our light bars is on their truck. This is often because they want to illuminate paths that they drive on, but there are some legal limitations when using these on public roads. However, if you have a jeep that travels off-road on private property, then it can be a lifesaver in the dark. Not only can it help light up your path, but it can also warn nearby people that you are in the vicinity. In most cases, they can be used to full effect when you’re out in the country and have the roads to yourself. They’re great for adding extra light and they’re also good for warning others.

 How do I make my light bar strobe?

Light bars can strobe if they have the right features. We offer a wide variety of strobing emergency lights, so take a look at the selection we offer. Make sure that the settings enable strobing or flashing, and consider how many flash patterns you want the lights to display. Some of our products that offer more patterns are more expensive, but they come with controllers and other settings that allow the user to change and program the settings to their liking. This makes them highly customizable and a much better option for those that need more control over the strobing effect.

 Where can I buy light bars?

Extreme Tactical Dynamics offers one of the largest selections of LED light bars and emergency lighting on the internet. Simply check out the categories we offer by clicking the relevant links at the top or the left of the page to start browsing the variety of lights that we have on offer. To help you make a purchase, we include a list of details and dimensions that will help you choose the right lights for your needs. We also have an LED light bar buying guide to help you as well.

 What color are LED light bars?

Our products come in a variety of lighting colors. We adhere to all state requirements, so no matter where you’re located we have a LED color combination that will suit your needs. We also make sure to offer these on the majority of our lights (some exceptions are made for small lights such as hideaways) and we also offer alternating combinations. If you’re unsure what lights you’re required to use in your state, then our knowledge base contains all of the relevant information.

 What website can I get an emergency light bar from?

Extreme Tactical Dynamics offers emergency lighting solutions in addition to civilian use ones. We have a wide range of styles available in our selection for all budgets and use cases. Whether you’re an emergency responder or part of a police force looking to equip their vehicles with reliable, durable and weatherproof lighting solutions, we have something for everyone.

 Who makes the best LED light bars?

When it comes to the production and sale of LED emergency lights, we’re confident that we’re the best in the business. Our thousands of positive customer reviews and success give us the credentials we need to say that with confidence.

 CALL FOR US:

●      Light Bar Installation Service Near Albuquerque NM

●      Light Bar Installation

●      Vehicle Light Bar Installation

●      Light Bar Installation Cost

●      How To Install Light Bar On Roof

●      Car Light Bar Installation

●      Truck Light Bar Installation

●      Led Light Bar Installation

●      Roadshock Led Light Bar Installation Near Albuquerque NM

●      Vehicle Light Bar Installation

●      Car Light Bar Installation

●      Truck Light Bar Installation

●      Led Light Bar Installation

●      Led Bar Lights For Car

●      Led Bar Light Price

●      Jeep Light Bar Installation

●      Led Light Bar Near Albuquerque NM

 BEST LIGHT BAR INSTALLATION SERVICE IN ALBUQUERQUE NM

MOBILE MECHANICS OF ALBUQUERQUE

REQUEST MORE INFORMATION. CONTACT US NOW!

[randomisemily]

I wanna rant about getting my driver’s license, but some people might need to know some stuff beforehand, so here you go:

- In Belgium, you have to take a written test on basic knowledge of traffic (rules & signs), passing that test allows you to request for a permit 

- There are two different permits: 1) 36 months: allows you to drive, but not by yourself. 2) 18 months: allows you to drive by yourself. Though, in both cases, you have to take lessons beforehand. 

-You can get your license at the age of 18 

- the driver’s test includes a “risk perception” test (you have to watch a few videos and determine who’s on the road and who’s a risk etc) + also, of course, a test on the road, including a few parking skills

- Additonally, I’d like to mention that the laws concerning learning how to drive and permits etc have changed A LOT the last few years, so if sometimes my rant is confusing, IT IS FOR ME AS WELL

- Every 2 times you fail an exam, you have to take 6 hours of lessons before you are allowed to take the exam again. 

ALRIGHT LETS GET STARTED

So when I was 18, I personally felt like I wasn’t ready to get my license yet. I wasn’t all that interested anyway and because I had friends who could drive, an older brother,... I was happy not driving. It didn’t bother me that much, and when Iook back at that time, I might even add that I might’ve been scared to drive. 

I felt like my life wasn’t too difficult without a license, though I lived in a rural area, I had easy access to busses and, mostly, trains. I also pretty much biked everywhere, and I didn’t mind that much.  

When I was 19, I started dating my fiancé, who had a license and took me everywhere. Some might think he was enabling, but in our case, I think he was just happy to do it. He was patient with me and when I was almost 21, I took the written test and passed. 

See, after that, I’m fuzzy on the details because I’m 28 now. So time has PASSED. But at that time I did decide to get a 36 month license. The reason was mostly financial: for a 18 month license, you have to take more lessons, and the lessons are expensive. (to drive alone, you have to take 20 hours of lessons, which as roughly 1500 euros). BUT for the 36 month permit, it’s only required to take 6 hours, which is rougly 500 euros. Considering the fact I had to pay that myself, I felt like I couldn’t afford the extra 1000 euros. I think, the other reason was that I was scared to drive by myself - maybe even scared to drive at all.

The permit I chose, requires you to get a mentor. Usually, it’s a family member, in my case, it was my dad. I thought it would be a good choice because my dad knows how to drive a truck and has tons of experience. He’s also calm and I thought he’d be good at giving instructions. 

That worked out a little different. It seemed like my dad was, like myself, a little scared to teach me. So here we were: two people who weren’t going to encourage each other to drive. The addition problem was that my dad’s working a lot, so a lot of times I was tired or he was. Yeah, it’s an excuse, and we knew it. 

One time, when were finally practicing, we were on a private road nearby. We were just starting & stopping, you know, the basics. There was a guy walking his Jack Russell, but without a leash. We weren’t going fast at all, but all of the sudden, the dog ran in front of my car. The dog ran off, over a big field, as fast as it could, and eventually, it ran home. We were shocked, scared and felt bad for the dog. The dog wasn’t injured that badly, but it so happened that we also had a similar dog at the time, so we truly felt for the little scared dog. I am, ‘till this day, though, a little angry with the owner because you don’t let your dog off your leash, that’s just my opinion. 

ANYHOW, after practicing a few months or something, we decided I was ready. I felt ready but both my dad and I were NERVOUS AS SHIT. The examirer was 15 minutes late, which only made it worse. My exam was a nightmare, after 5 minutes on the road, I had to go back. Out of nervousness, I didn’t see an old lady crossing the road. It was a disaster and the memory is still vivid. 

A second attempt came around the corner, and this time, I really thought I was ready. It was closer to the time the permit was going to expire, so I really hoped it would work out this time. Failed. This time, I didn’t use my breaks properly. Apparently, my dad had been teaching me wrong and I didn’t remember from the lessons I took. 

I can’t remember anymore why I failed the third time, but I did. And this time, my permit really was about to expire. After failing this time, I had no choice but to let it expire. 

This SUCKED because, as you might do the math, I was already 25 by then. And by the time I was 25, I did in fact, really need a car and a license. I had just graduated college and I needed a job. Schools in general are usually easily accessible by train, so was mine. Jobs, however, are not. For my internship in my last year of college, for example, I had to bike to the train station, take a train, tranfer to another train, take a bus and then bike again. The internship was great, getting there, however, was a nightmare. 

It also sucked because at the time, there was a rule in place, that dictated that if your permit expires, you can’t request a new one. There was a “waiting period” of 3 years. Yes, three YEARS. There are some exceptions because I can still, possibly, get your license during that time if you re-take your written test and take your driving exam with a professional driving school (the one you use to take lessons). This is, in fact, what I tried to do. The tricky part is that, when you’re not on the road during your “normal” life (work, groceries,...) it’s harder to get back on the horse. It was for me, anyway. I tried to the the exam that way twice. I failed twice. After the second time, I still had a year left in that “waiting period”, so I figured I wouldn’t try anymore and just wait it out. During those three years, I got a job nearby where I could bike to. It was alright. 

After the three years, and 5 exams later, I was fed up and I wanted to pass more than ever. But I knew I needed to do better this time. I took the 20 hours (yes, the lessons kept pilling up and so were the bills) so that I could drive alone and get the 18 month permit. By that time, I was also working full time and had moved out and moved in with my fiancé. So I was READY to be an adult and driving alone also meant that freedom I desperately wanted. 

My reasoning was also the fact that I felt like I didn’t have enough real life experience driving a car before. I didn’t need to do groceries, I was still living at home at the time and, as I mentioned, was always practicing with my dad. This time, not only did I want to drive alone, I needed to. 

A few months before the 18 months ended, I wanted to take the test again. Six times a charm, I thought. This time, my “mentor” wasn’t my dad anymore, it was my fiancé. Mind you, my fiance, lovely as he is, is neurotic and full of anxiety (bless his heart). Yet again, I was confronted by my nerves, and his. And failed the test because of my parking skills (or lack of). Actually, I was too nervous and had a minor anxiety attack while parking. 

The next time, I tried to get back on the horse almost right away and tried to take an exam with, not my boyfriend, but a professional driving instructor (€€€€€€). The seventh time almost worked out. I ALMOST passed, until the last few minutes I made a mistake at a crossroads. I mean, fuck. 

For the eight time, I realized I needed to do the same so I scheduled the exam for March this year. Then, of course, a pandemic came knocking on the door. The exam was cancelled and I felt major relief - though, I did need to pass and I knew it. 

After everything re-opened in May, I sort of procrastinated making an appointment again. I just, I couldn’t. I knew I had to, but I had failed this test 7 times. A driving test. Thinking about it, I mean, I have a bachelors degree. I had good job. I’m engaged. But I didn’t have a driver’s license. And no, I’m not a New Yorker. 

But luckily, when I procastinate, my body doesn’t agree and protests. I was watching a Modern Family episode one night where Haley struggled to get her license and I felt her pain so much. My heart was racing. I got nervous and flustered. And this continued. I was watching anyone driving on tv and I continued having tiny panic attacks. Talk about triggers: people driving. 

Anyway, I finally managed to call to make the apointment (took a lot of energy). I, again, made an appointment with a professional instructor. Though it was more expensive, it was the best approach. My car is old and driving my car to the exam would also mean I’d have to deal with my nervous (and not helping at all) fiancé. I knew I needed a steady and experienced person by my side. 

Yesterday, I took the test and I passed. Eight years and eight tries. 

I thought I would be ecstatic, but I wasn’t. I mean, I was. But honestly, It’s all been hitting me. Slowly. 

I’ve had this extreme fear. Extreme shame. Extreme anxiety for years. Because of that, it’s like, I have to process everything. I mean, everything. For example, I can now drive to my job, no strings attached. I can find a better job, that’s not as nearby. We bought a house to a rural area so it’s hard NOT to drive a car. I used to fear I’d feel locked up in the house as long as I didn’t have my license. Now, I have to process that this won’t be the case anymore and I can experience that freedom. There have been so many small things that I had to adjust to. Also, the shame I experienced. It’s just GONE now. Just simply, GONE. 

But in any case, I’m also super stoked. And the reason I ranted was

1) to express myself and get it off my chest but also

2) if anyone experiences the same thing (or a similar thing) to assure that it happened to me too.  

And for anyone who doesn’t want to ride with me - I totally understand but I took so many classes I consider it an asset. Not only do I know the laws of driving SUPER WELL, I am NEVER going to jeopardize it by driving badly. Because I ain’t planning on losing what I’ve got! 

thank you for reading or scrolling 

[corvussy]

I'm reading the queen and slim script (bc I have no intention of watching the movie) & I intended to read the script purely looking to analyze how the (obviously political) story elements held up to real life, as so often hollywood tends to fall flat in portraying the experience of oppressed racial groups, especially (and specifically) black Americans.

however, I could not help but just... really feel that this script is so obviously written by people who know nothing about even basic laws and resolutely did 0 research on the law outside of reading facebook infographics about citizens rights during traffic stops, and it seemed Queens character being a lawyer flew straight out the window the moment the throwaway lines of dialogue about her recent case came out her mouth.

the most egregious example was obviously the traffic stop scene. Queens role is quickly delegated to a passive observer who occasionally throws out quips about police brutality and does little to help the situation (and becomes actually a part of the escalating conflict). now, obviously no person can really expect to react rationally/perfect during a traffic stop. poor judgement/behavior is no excuse for murder.

HOWEVER, queens character is very much introduced to be no nonsense (wants to send back slims incorrect order, says she doesnt like people "not doing their jobs", etc.) and also very self assured & confident, combined with a very clear the knowledge of state law & a pretty well established attorney (as she handled a death penalty case, it's unlikely Queen was advertising on bus benches), I just dont think Queens actions correlated very well with the established traits from the date + the car ride

also the whole movie is a response to police brutality & subverting what usually happens so turning this scene into a sort of soap box for the message wouldnt be "unrealistic" so much as necessary in setting the movie apart from any other usual hollywood cashgrab for social issue points.

plus Queens profession could have actually gave the story & her character much more depth and this scene at the beginning of the movie is just a stumbling block that has everything else just go downhill.

Some more realistic proactive actions that I think align with Queens character:

having done the research, queen could have taken charge of the situation (as she wanted to do in the restaurant, which could have made for some good visual/dialogue juxtaposition with some tweaks to both scenes)

Queen is a lawyer, she could have very well turned into one at this moment, not letting slim give verbal consent for a search or even introducing herself as slims lawyer. maybe even chastising the officer for not running a check when he comes back with his license & registration and still asking if slim has any warrants (i.e. he wasn't doing his job).

Queen tends to be self righteous by nature, so I think she would definitely be affronted by the police officers accusations & continued/escalating misconduct. this would have been a good time to reassert her & slims earlier characterizations. Queen as very self assured & slim as someone who doesnt like to ruffle feathers

perhaps slim could have tried to get Queen to stop "provoking" the officer with the law, sensing that the officer didnt like being in the wrong, which is already present in the current scene, as he goes red when he doesnt find anything in slims trunk & concocts a violation on slims part to justify pointing a gun and shooting. tensions would definitely be running high as slim was a very nervous character already and the two were incompatible from the beginning, so it would be easy for the cop to escalate the situation and also serve as commentary that cops are worse than untrained civilians and are still given access to deadly weapons.

and finally, psa DO NOT FUCKING REMOVE BULLETS EVEN IF ITS "JUST UNDER THE SKIN" (god that paragraph pained me to read) THAT SHIT AINT A FUCKING SPLINTER

but queen removing the bullet honestly read like torture porn though so I highly doubt the scene was done in good faith or out of the characters ignorance

[purplesurveys]

820

what venue was the last real concert you went to at?: It was in a local arena and seeing as it’s the only big and also the most modern arena that we have in the city, all foreign acts usually hold their shows there because other venues are too small. 

does your best friend and their mom have the same last name?: Not fully. Their moms hyphenated their surnames.

when was the last time you watched a horror movie? what was it?: Sometime in June-ish. It was Midsommar, and we watched the last full show so it was very late at night :c Loved the movie but hated the ride home as I could barely look at flowers or the color white after.

does your mom think robert pattinson (twilight) is attractive?: I’m not sure actually. I think she found Taylor Lautner to be a bit more attractive.

what color is your cell phone?: Answered this on a recent survey, but while Apple calls it space grey it’s really just fancy talk for black.

are you currently waiting for a phone call? from who?: Gab and I are gonna video call later tonight.

do you have any drugs in your bedroom?: I think I have a couple of Biogesic pills left. I remember taking a whole pack of it from my parents’ room because I had a phase not too long ago where I had a headache almost every night.

is there a feature on your face that people compliment you on?: My eyelashes and single dimple get the most compliments. I also never really had acne problems so I get a lot of comments on that too.

what are your plans for the rest of the week?: Professors are starting to put our grades on our student portal thingy so I’m just spending the week waiting for my record to be complete so I can start really feeling like I’m graduating. I’m also thinking of trying to make a Monte Cristo sandwich hahaha but I’m just not sure if we have all the ingredients needed for it. Safe to say that my plans are all over the place.

have you taken your license test yet?: Yes, four years ago. I’ve already told the story on old surveys but I’ll never forgive the LTO for giving me a car I was completely unfamiliar with to use for my driving exam, since it affected my performance and made me nearly fail the test altogether.

are you annoyed with the side-bang phase?: I don’t remember being annoyed with it. It was a big trend and honestly it looked okay on a lot of people lmao, I never felt like I wanted to complain about it.

what kind of perfume do you mainly use?: I haven’t used perfume in a whiiiiiile because I haven’t gone anywhere anyway, but I’d normally put on Beyoncé’s Heat Rush.

how many studded belts do you own?: Exactly zero.

has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever had braces?: Yes. We had braces put o around the same time, but she was permitted to have them removed much later than me. I only had braces for a year and a half, whereas she needed them throughout high school so that’s four years.

if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them?: I’d get either a nose ring or nose stud for piercing; as for tattoo, I’d get Kimi’s pawprint on my wrist.

what have you eaten today?: I had garlic rice, scrambled eggs, and two hotdogs for breakfast; milk tea in the afternoon c/o my dad; and afritada for dinner.

what was the last thing you dissected in a science class?: If my memory serves me right, it was some sort of fish. We didn’t dissect often, just three times: an earthworm, a frog, and then that fish.

have you ever experienced being in love?: Yes.

what’s your favorite thing to do?: I don’t have a top 1 favorite thing to do but one of my favorites is to lift my dog up and carry him around like a baby until he gets annoyed and starts squirming around as if to say “put me down” lol.

have you ever drawn a portrait of somebody? who?: No thanks.

did you wear a jacket today?: No, I don’t wear jackets at home.

where did you buy the last album you purchased?: I have no clue, it was such a long time ago – 2013 to be exact. My best guess would be Mega since their CD shops are always the most updated.

what is your best class in school?: In college, I fell in love with my international relations class right from the first lecture. So easy to appreciate a class when you see your prof’s passion bleed through the readings, lectures, Powerpoints, etc. Back in high school, I loved all the specializations of history that we covered: Philippine history for freshman year, Asian history for second year, and world history for third year.

what was the last kind of vitamin water you consumed?: I don’t drink vitamin water but I do take a vitamin C pill everyday.

how many times a week are you told that you’re beautiful?: Uhhh lately, not that much since we haven’t seen each other and we don’t really do video calls that often. Gab usually calls me beautiful when I send her a selfie, but I don’t do that a lot either.

how many years apart are you and your boyfriend/girlfriend?: A month and a half.

have you kissed more than two people of the same sex?: Mmm just one. I kissed Andi on the cheek once and looking back I now acknowledge the fact that I had meant to do it romantically, but I don’t really count it cause it’s just a cheek kiss.

how many times have you had sex in one day?: Such a personal question lmao but I think my record was 3 or 4 times in a day.

did you exercise at all today?: I don’t exercise.

what color of hair did you have the beginning of this school year?: It’s always just been brown. It’s never changed. < Same sentiments, except change brown to black in my case.

who are you planning to hang out with this weekend?: Just my family, as has been the case for three months now.

when are you getting a new phone?: Idk, maybe a few months into my job once I get one.

have you ever seen a transvestite in person?: That’s a politically incorrect term that pisses me off greatly. < Oooooh. Honestly, genuinely did not know this, so thanks for teaching me something new. I’ve since looked it up and apparently the more appropriate term is cross-dresser, and yeah I know several. My university welcomes all forms of expression, so anyone can dress and project themselves in however way they desire.

what was the last show that you almost went to but didn’t?: This doesn’t count as a show but there was supposed to be a wrestling boot camp in Manila as part of a publicity campaign for a brand new wrestling promotion, and Andrew and I had plans on cutting class so we can attend the boot camp and learn basic wrestling moves. It was gonna be the coolest thing ever since WWE legend Rikishi was gonna be the one teaching at the boot camp, but unfortunately and shittily enough, the whole thing had been scheduled right around the time panic over Covid was at its peak. Lockdown started at the same week the boot camp was supposed to happen, so yeah I never got my chance to step into a ring.

what did you wear today?: I wore a UP shirt and a pair of shorts, but I’ll be showering after this.

what book are you currently reading?: Nothing at the moment. I can’t decide which wrestler’s autobiography to read next.

[mszegedy]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2020: Days 1-10

This is a list of questions by @autie-jake (full list here), where you’re supposed to answer one per day for every day of April. I learned about it a few days into April and intended to start doing it but I forgot, I guess, or maybe decided against it. But I wanna do it now, so here’s the first ten days really quick.

April 1: Introduce yourself. Talk about who you are as a person.

This is kind of a hard question for me. I think my younger sister (by 3¾ years) would say this, if she just made a new friend the same age as her and she asked about me:

“Well, she goes to college, but she’s graduating this semester. She does something with proteins, but honestly she should really be a linguist. I actually really hate discussing linguistics with her, because she gets so annoying and overbearing about it. I don’t understand why she’s doing whatever she is. She’s a pretty weird person. She has all sorts of problems with, like, depression and amnesia and stuff. Oh, but, she’s trans, so, like, that’s a thing, yeah. I don’t like talking about most things with her because she thinks she’s always right. And also, she’s kind of mean to our mom. I don’t know why she does that. But at the same time she’s, like, really sensitive, and will be offended by the stupidest things. Okay, this is making it sound like I don’t like her, but I do, okay? She’s my sister, of course I love her. We’ve bonded a lot. She’s moving to DC in October, so we’ll be able to hang out during the school year, and that’ll be really fun. I think I’m just a little fed up with her right now from having to live with her for a whole month.“

April 2: Post your red instead selfie today! Alternatively, you could talk about why you choose to go redinstead and what it means to you.

I don’t know what “redinstead” is. I googled it and it sounds like you wear differently-themed stuff from what’s recommended by Autism Speaks, to dunk on them. Like a lot of people, I’m stuck inside this April, so there’s no point in me wearing pride clothing, because nobody will see it. But I do disapprove of Autism Speaks, because they don’t treat autistic people like people, and they try to spread that ideology. If you trick them into thinking you’re a person first, they won’t change their mind; instead, they’ll say you’re not autistic. People defend them by recounting the problems that nonverbal autistic people face, as though nonverbal autistic people have an inherently worse neurotype than everyone else, and not just one that’s more difficult to accomodate for society, and as though that justifies the abuses levied against them by Autism Speaks. I could go into details, but I won’t, because it would be emotionally draining for me as a writer, and you as a reader.

Suffice to say, I love being autistic. It has inspired a lot of people to treat me very badly, and probably led to a degree of abuse and neglect in my childhood that resulted in dissociative identity disorder. But all of my autistic traits are things that I love about myself. I like how emotionally expressive my stims make me. I like how I’ve learned to dissect a lot of social stuff and I can explain it. I like how I can just dispense with all of that social stuff around autistic people. Hell, I think it gives the neurotypical people I hang out with some relief, too, when I’m straightforward and explicit all the time. I like how good I am at linguistics, and how I can use it as a way to relate to the world.

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

My special interests are unusually slow burns. I’ve had linguistics-related special interests for the past ten years. They’re peripherally useful for language learning, but mostly I’ve just accumulated academic knowledge. They’ve, however, also led me to reconnect with my Ugric heritage culture, which is very important to me. (It wouldn’t be important to me if language weren’t my primary way of relating to the world; paradox?)

I have a wide variety of other interests, but few of them are really “special”. As a kid, my special interest was marine life. Unfortunately, I haven’t retained much of that, although I do have the privilege of having a diver’s license, which I’ll use again someday when I pass better naked. I also briefly had a special interest in… building computers, or something. I didn’t have the money to make anything particularly powerful (not that I had anything at the time to use computational power for), but I did run some workshops for middle-schoolers.

I think maybe my interest as a kid in Homestuck was special? It ran pretty deep, anyway. It’s hard to say, when you can’t remember most of your life.

April 4: Do you consider your autism to be an important part of your identity?

Because we have DID (or something like it), we don’t have an identity in the traditional sense. We do have a system identity, but that’s built around our mutual goals and guidelines. However, we’d be very sad to lose our autistic traits. Also, it might mess with the standard of consistency we’ve established for ourselves; we might not be able to predict our future actions, because losing our autistic traits may interfere with our ability to follow the aforementioned goals and guidelines, which are what help keep us focused and consistent.

April 5: Talk about your living situation. Do you live with your parents? Do you live on your own? Have roommates? Etc. If you live on your own how hard was it to get used to?

Right now, I’m quarantining with my mom, my sister, and my brother (who is actually my sister’s boyfriend), at my mom’s house. The mess that’s accumulating in the house is slowly causing my mom more and more stress, I think. I’ve never really lived on my own. For a lot of college, I lived with roommates or housemates, but I don’t think I was very good at that. Also, my mom lived nearby, and I stayed at her place on the weekends. The closest I’ve come to living on my own is watching my mom’s house for up to a few weeks at a time, and that wasn’t sustainable. (To be fair, what kind of house has a lawn? When I get a house with a lawn in the future, I will make sure that it’s a wild lawn that I don’t have to mow.)

The third to last time that I house-sitted for my mom, I ended up getting hospitalized for self-harm. It took her a while to let me do it again after that. Although, not a very long while, I guess. That was at the end of last September.

April 6: Are you able to drive? If you can, was it hard for you to learn? If not, what alternatives do you use, if any

I’m not able to drive. Driving is scary and difficult for me. I went through the motions of learning it in high school, but my track was interrupted by a move across state lines (I lived in the US at the time), and I never recovered. I’ve failed the NJ written driver’s exam, which grants you a one-year permit with restrictions, a total of roughly ten times. I’ve never been this bad at a subject; it’s like I have the opposite of a special interest in driving. A special lack-of-interest. My brain won’t retain any information about NJ driving laws whatsoever. It doesn’t help that I had a traumatic car crash when I was very young.

So far, I’ve just gotten my mom and coworkers to drive me places, or taken Ubers or trains. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I leave NJ, I’ll probably have to get a driver’s license. Although, I’ve already got a carpool set up at my next job in October.

April 7: Talk about autism in the media. Do you think that autism is typically portayed well? Badly? Is there anything you’d like to see more of when it comes to autistic representation? Who are your favorite autistic characters? Do you have any headcanons?

The media that I consume doesn’t really have autistic characters, so I can’t comment on how autistic people are portrayed, except that I’d like us to be portrayed more, period. I’ve only really seen us in teen dramas. To be fair, one of my favorite webcomics, El Goonish Shive, is a teen drama, and has a great autistic character (Susan). I’d say I identify with her, but not really. It’s very hard for me to identify with people, fictional or nonfictional, because my neurotype is greatly influenced by autism, DID, chronic depression, and gender dysphoria, and you don’t see combinations of traits in media that come even close to that.

Speaking of another teen drama, I wish I were half as cool as Matilda from Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. I guess that makes her my favorite canon autistic character, but that’s pretty easy, because I don’t know any other ones. I can’t say that I wanna hug her, because she doesn’t like that, but her general substitute for hugs is dancing, and I can’t dance. I guess I’d learn how, to show my appreciation for her.

Archer from Archer is probably autistic. I like him a lot.

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

“Hating” is not something I can really do, even when it’s recommended to do it. I haven’t been open about my autism, so I haven’t been exposed to too many misconceptions or stereotypes about it firsthand, anyway. I guess if I had to pick, it would be whatever made my dad call me autistic as an insult and use a bunch of ableist slurs at me a whole lot. I don’t know how he understands autism, however. He doesn’t seem to realize that he has it himself. (It’s not usually one’s place to diagnose other people like that, but one of the most degrading things that my mom says to me very often is that I’m exactly like my father. He even has some traits that I don’t, like touch-aversion and samefoods.)

April 9: How sensitive are you when it comes to touch? Are you pro hug or anti hug?

I’m hyposensitive. I’m really losing it here under this quarantine. I had a girlfriend who always made me feel so respected whenever she responded to my touch-based needs, by squeezing me, hugging me, or otherwise cuddling me very tight, but then she broke up with me because of my mental health issues, and because her parents hated me and her friends were made very uncomfortable by me.

April 10: Do you have trouble understanding when someone is being sarcastic or joking?

It depends. I think I’m as good at it as I’ll ever be, and my false negative rate is under 0.5 (and my false positive rate is very low, but not 0). But I don’t think the same thing goes on in my head as in neurotypical people’s heads when I determine something to be a joke. I almost explicitly do a Bayesian calculation; “Based on what I know about this person and this context, how well can I imagine them meaning this statement unironically in this context? How well can I imagine them meaning this statement ironically in this context?” It’s pretty automatic now, but sometimes it doesn’t work very well, when I’m not so familiar with the person and/or the context, and occasionally the intended interpretation of the statement.

[eldritchsurveys]

708.

What is your current favorite song? >> A song I discovered recently that I really like is Team the Best Team by Doomtree.

Name one youtuber who's bedroom you'd like to have. >> The kind of youtubers whose bedrooms you’d be familiar with aren’t the kind I usually watch (because that’s just not the kind of content I’m interested in). The only youtuber whose bedroom I’ve seen is Jenna Marbles and the only reason I even found out who she was is because Sparrow started showing me her videos (because dogs).

Are you often behind on trends? >> I wouldn’t say that, I just don’t often pay attention.

What is your heritage? >> Meh.

What is your favorite country besides your own? >> ---

Do you have to take allergy medicine every day? >> No.

What was the first dorm you lived in called? >> ---

Have you ever worked in food service? >> That was the first and last “real job” I had.

Do you often stay in your pajamas all day? >> Yes. I have no reason to do otherwise.

What are three  youtube videos you would like to film soon? >> ---

What's your favorite Celtic song? >> I don’t have a favourite Celtic song.

Do you ever listen to country music? >> Sure.

How old were you the first time you encountered God? If you've never encountered God, do you want to? >> I’ve never encountered the particular god this question is probably referencing. I wouldn’t mind -- I’m always up for divine encounters.

Are you subscribed to any magazines? >> Yeah, GameInformer through my GameStop membership.

Name three celebrities you think are very average-looking. >> Average by what standard?

Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor? >> Nah. I’ve had to sleep on floors for years in the past, I’m quite over it.

Was your first kiss magical? >> ---

Have you ever dated someone just to try it out? >> Try what out? Dating? No?

Do you have trust issues? >> I sure as fuck do.

What is your most severe allergy? >> ---

Do you always answer your phone when it rings? >> I never answer my phone when it rings. The only exception is if I’ve called a place and they said they’d call me back later (or I left a message asking them to), and the number on the caller ID matches. But that’s a very rare occurrence, so.

Does your printer work? >> I keep forgetting we even have a printer. We never use it. I think it’s out of black ink, anyway.

What's the largest library fine you've ever had? >> I don’t remember what the dollar amount was, but it was definitely because I never returned a few books to the Queens Library so I got charged for the cost of the books themselves. I don’t remember why I never returned them, I either lost them because I was a transient and losing things is very easy, or I just straight up executive dysfunction’d it forever.

Have you ever lost a library card? >> Probably. Not in the past 10 years, though.

Name three literary characters you feel resemble you the most. >> Trick question, since I am a character.

Name three cartoon characters that resemble you, and say why. >> ---

Do you have a good doctor? >> ---

Do you wear a watch every day? If so, what color is your watch? >> Nope.

Does your phone alarm ever scare you? >> Nah.

What color looks the worst on you? >> ---

What colors look best on you? >> All of them, obviously.

Which department store do you shop at the most? >> Meijer.

Do you have a car? And if not, do you want one? >> No. Of course I don’t want one, I can’t even drive. I certainly can’t afford to be a car owner.

How old were you when you got your driver's license? >> ---

Do you have regrets? >> I mean, I guess. But ultimately, meh.

Is there one mistake you wish you could go back and undo? >> No.

Name a movie you've seen in the movie theater more than once. >> Interstellar is the only movie I’ve seen in theater more than once (I saw it three times).

Do you ever curl your hair? >> No.

Do you known anyone who has coronavirus? >> Not yet.

Have you ever lived in King County, Washington? >> No.

Out of all the big cities you've visited, which has/have been your favorite? >> New Orleans.

If you had to move to another country, which would you choose? >> I don’t know, if I was going to make that choice I’d need to do a lot of research.

Do you like dreamcatchers? >> Sure.

Have you ever made a dreamcatcher, and if not, would you like to learn? >> No, I have not. I wouldn’t mind learning, as long as it was from a Native person and not, like, some white chick with a crafts blog.

Do you play a musical instrument? >> No.

Which school subjects were hardest for you? >> Most of them, for various reasons.

Which school subjects came easiest for you? >> By high school, nothing came easy.

What's your vocal range? (tenor, bass, alto, soprano, etc.) >> I’d say tenor, but I also haven’t been near a choir in like 13 years so I might be wrong.

Who was your high school's biggest bully? >> ---

What color was your graduation cap and gown? >> Er... white? I don’t remember.

Did you keep your graduation cap? >> Fuck no.

Did you decorate your graduation cap? >> Nope.

Did you invite any teachers to your open house? >> What??

What is your hometown known for? >> ---

Do you drink smoothies or soda more? >> I don’t drink much of either, but I think I’ve had more soda than smoothies overall.

Do you like pineapple? >> Sure.

What is your favorite part of nature? >> The nature part.

Do you use photoshop? >> Nah, not anymore. I used to use it a lot for making vampirefreaks layouts and gifs and graphics.

Favorite photo editing app on your phone? >> ---

Did you love or hate college? >> ---

Favorite class in high school? >> Choir, I guess. Even though not being able to grok sheet-reading did hamstring me a bit.

Favorite class in college? >> ---

Class you hated the most in high school? >> *shrug*

Class you hated the most in college? >> ---

Do you know how to write in calligraphy? >> I vaguely recall some of the mechanics, but it’s not something I personally have skill in.

Have you ever had a pen pal? >> No. I was saying the other day that I wouldn’t even know what to put in a letter, especially to someone I don’t have a preexisting in-person relationship with.

Do you do stupid things a lot (or do you think you do stupid things a lot)? >> I don’t think I do stupid things a lot. I think I’m quick to berate myself as an idiot for doing things, but that’s because I have a very developed Inner Critic, not because I literally believe that about myself.

Do you watch Bethany Mota on youtube? >> No.

Do you prefer brownies or cookies? >> Cookies, because they come in more flavours than just chocolate, which I generally don’t like.

Favorite Girl Scout cookie? >> The lemon ones.

Did you ever go camping as a kid? >> Not as a kid.

Which holiday is your birthday closest to? >> Memorial Day (sometimes the same day).

Name a famous person who shares your birthday. >> Blaaaah.

Name three celebrities who are the same height as you. >> Why.

Name 3 celebrities who are an inch shorter than you. Name 3 celebrities who are an inch taller than you.

Do you have hormone issues? >> Not that I’m aware of. I have issues with my hormones, though.

Do you hate it when your facebook friends try to diagnose you with things? >> That... is not an experience I’m familiar with.

Have you ever gotten a misdiagnosis because your parent(s) lied about you? >> No, I’ve been misdiagnosed because the doctors were not good.

Which Barbie doll was your favorite? >> ---

Did you ever go through a goth/emo phase? >> My whole life is a goth phase, wym.

Is it windy outside right now? >> No.

What time do you normally wake up? >> It really just depends, man. Sometimes it’s 4a, sometimes it’s 8a, sometimes it’s a time in between.

Do you wake up to an alarm? >> Nah.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you always carry breath mints? Nope. What is the point of scented pens/pencils/erasers? No point, really. People just like them. *shrug* They were kinda fun to have when I was a kid. Do you buy/wear band-aids with cartoon characters on them? We usually just get the plain, simple ones but I don’t mind wearing ones with cute characters or designs. Are you amused by celebrity fashion flubs? I just see some of (a lot of, honestly) the stuff celebrities wear and I’m just like....why? I see the things that are considered fashionable and I really just don’t get it. And they’re not cheap stuff either. What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? I think it’d be interesting to go on a tour of the White House.

Do you buy and wear crazy looking socks? I used to get fun colors and cute designs and such when I was younger, but now I just stick to simple, plain ones. Would you run down the street wearing a tutu, fishnets, & flippers? Nah. Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? Oh, those little things that grew when put in water? If so, then yes. Those were really cool as a kid. Would you want to travel into deep space? Nooooo. Just the idea of that is terrifying. Have you ever thrown a game controller (or the game) and broke it? No.

Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? Yeah. Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? Yep yep. That was like the staple of a 90′s kid room. Does your house have an attic that had stuff in it when you moved in? My house doesn’t have an attic. What movie were you really worked up for that ended up disappointing you? I wasn’t worked up or dying to see Gretel and Hansel, but I saw it recently and yeah it wasn’t good.  Does/did your school have special dress-up days? Yeah, my elementary, middle school, and high school had those.  What cartoons did you watch when you were little? 90′s shows on Nickelodeon, Disney, PBS, Kids WB, and Saturday morning cartoons.  Do you eat peanut shells along with the peanuts? No. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? Not for real, no. I’ve only been on the amusement ride version. I definitely couldn’t do the real thing. What part of a paper is hardest for you to write? Honestly, the hardest part for me was always just getting started. Once I got started; though, I was fine. Does your grandma wear an apron when she cooks? No. This is your chance to get it out! Place random rant here: Nah. How often do you need “me” time? I’m someone who needs time to myself to just do my own thing and rest.  Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? No. I’m all about the convenience of doing things like shopping, paying bills, filling out forms, looking things up, having easy, quick access to various things, etc. Also great when you’re not a social person like me, but can be “social” on various social medias. I can see what people are up to and be in the loop about things without even communicating lmao. That sounds awful, but hey. You can reach more people that way as well.  Have you ever gotten stuck in a revolving door? No. Who is your favorite superhero? Iron Man, Star Lord, Spiderman, and Ant-Man.  KFC Chicken: original or extra crispy? I don’t like KFC. What class in school do/did you secretly love? I didn’t have any that I secretly enjoyed.  What animal do you most resemble while eating? Growing up my family always jokingly said I ate like a bird cause I picked at everything. And a sloth cause I was (still am) a slow eater.  Pop-Tarts vs. Toaster Strudels. Discuss: I like both. Not much to discuss lol I just think they’re good. Do you believe there are subliminal messages in songs? I think there can be. Ha, remember the big conspiracy back in the day about playing songs backwards to hear secret messages. Think about your first kiss. Did you have any idea what you were doing? Nope. It was awkward, but quick.  Would you play Jumanji, if given the chance? I’ve never seen the movies, but from what I know; absolutely not!

Name a song lyric you heard wrong the first time and what it really said: I can’t think of a specific one right now and don’t feel like giving it much thought. Do you text/call while going to the bathroom? (Go multitasking!) No. Do you always make sure your cell phone is charged before going somewhere? It usually is. I do charge my phone every night before bed; though, and it’s usually fine throughout the day until the next charge. It just depends how much I use my phone, I guess. And how long I’ll be gone and whether I have access to a charger. My parents and brother have phone chargers in their cars, so. Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? I wanted the food, too. haha. Plus, McDonald’s happy meals used to have these cookies that were shaped like the different McDonald’s characters that were actually really good. Have you ever seen your parents cry? If so, how did it make you feel? Yes. I’ve seen my mom cry on several occasions and my dad cry less than a handful of times, but regardless of how many times, it really hurts me to see them cry.  What are your thoughts on Chuck Norris? I remember when Chuck Norris jokes were a big thing in like middle school for some reason. I never really knew who he was at the time, I just saw in an informercial I think haha. Did you answer that last question with a random Chuck Norris fact? Well, not about him, specifically. I shared a random fact from my childhood involving him.

What is the most annoying sound in the world? That makes me think of that scene from Dumb and Dumber, ha. Anyway, for me one of them is eating sounds. The smacking, sucking, slurping... C R I N G E. Do you honestly care about calories and fat content? No. Do you often shift blame towards others? I’m actually quick to blame myself for everything. I can be understanding and forgiving towards others, but be very harsh, critical, and unforgiving towards myself for the same things.  Do you ever feel like you’re smarter than your boss? I don’t have a job. Your very first best friend: Is he/she STILL your best friend? My mom still is. Do you add condiments to your ice cream, or just eat it plain? I liked strawberry and/or chocolate syrup with vanilla ice cream. I’m not a sprinkles gal. Have you ever witnessed a crime? Shoplifting.  What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I can’t think of one right now. Did you ever have a piggybank that literally ate your money? No.

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations DEAN! You’ve been accepted as JANUS with a FC change to CASEY DEIDRICK.

Dean, first let me say that when I saw an app from you in our inbox I screamed! Now, onto business. The way you created a backstory for Jackson that starts in Las Vegas and ends in Chicago kept me hanging on each and every word. I have to admit, the detail about how there’s only one form of identification with his true face and name was one of my favorite parts! I also loved how you broke name his name - it’s a little detail that went a long way in figuring out who Jackson is. We’re so excited to have you back on the dash and with our Janus! 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

NAME/ALIAS: Dean

PRONOUNS: She/her

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: GMT, fairly active

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Jackson Sawyer Raemers

GENDER/PRONOUNS: He/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS: This is where you show us who the character is to you! The format of this doesn’t matter, whether it’s in bullet points or in para form, and can be as long as you’d like it to be. Feel free to get creative!

The name Jackson is a Scottish name. In Scottish the meaning of the name Jackson is: God has been gracious; has shown favour. Based on John or Jacques.

Sawyer was an English meaning, a occupational name for someone who earned his living by sawing wood, Middle English saghier, an agent derivative of sagh(en) ‘to saw’.

Raemers based on Ramer, The oldest form of the name is “Reinmar” or “Reginmar,” which literally meant “famous councillor.” Always prominent in social affairs.

He’s a walking contradiction, his mind never 100% made on a singular motive and distraction easily pulled him from one thing to the next. Jackson’s chaos is a subtle one, orchestrated solely for his own enjoyment until there’s reason to repel against something or someone. Opinionated in a way in which his argument could be swerved from one side the the other only because he wanted to play devil’s advocate and test other people’s beliefs because it gives him comfort to see witness the grey spots in other’s morals.

A lot of what he does was born from his own insecurities, the voice in the back of his head telling him that we were more worthless than the dirt on the bottom of his shoes. So he hides his true self carefully, uses masks of humour and then hides behind other peoples identities. Carefully packaging away his own demons with false confidence that couldn’t be questioned.

BIO:

Fraud and robberies became second nature, easier than breathing yet essential to keep his head from sinking below the water. It was ironic, how swift his own actions turned from survival to pure indulgence. Disordered violence increasingly becomes addictive due to the way it supplied him with a steady rush of endorphins. The taste of rebellion even more rewarding when it was fuelled by the very mutation that he’d been discriminated for his entire life. He’d unlocked his true potential, a criminal with the ability to morph fluidly from one appearance to the next.

He supposes it was a form of obsession, in contrast to his former self, an upbringing spent repressing his powers to appease his terrified parents who feared the opinion of the neighbourhood than what may become of their son by neglecting a key part of his identity. Living life as an outlaw, adorning himself in tourist t-shirts and tacky dollar store sunglasses was a vast improvement. A lifestyle that saw him existing out of the trunk of his car, mustard stains from a drive-thru burger discolouring the map which lay open on his passenger seat, red ink circling his next destination. He couldn’t picture himself living an average life, didn’t want to be another cog in a well oiled cooperate machine where he’d become just another number sat at a desk until he’d worked up enough hours to pay off a mortgage.

Jackson’s luck fell short, naturally, the second his car pulled into sin city. Las Vegas with the luminosity of neon lights and slot machines was the single worst decision he could have made. Worse than disowning his family, worse than his impulsive decision making when getting tattoos and maybe even worse than the time he’d shifted into the body of a girl scout in some desperate attempt of getting a dozen boxes of thin mints free of charge. But like a moth to a flame, it was the adrenaline that led him to do it. Shifting from one casino owner to the next, he’d committed fraud multiple times each night and donate the remainder of the money after he’d loaded up on hawaiian shirts and sugary snacks, to organisations working against mutant laws and discrimination. Like a modern day Robin Hood, only driving a rusted up old Chevrolet in dire need of a new paint job.

It’s a mixture of arrogance and a blimp in his concentration that causes it to all unravel. Facading as a beer bellied Elvis impersonator in one of the chapels, he’d spent the evening pick pocketing gambling money from unsuspecting intoxicated couples who’d been making poor life decisions. It was easy work which naturally meant he’d become sloppy, the sort of stupidity that lands him an evening in police custody and unable to show any identification on himself other than a driving license that matches his true appearance. Jackson Sawyer Raemers, born November 22nd in the state of Arizona, an individual with an outstanding warrant for his arrest and a suspected mutant. There’s no court trial, no mention of imprisonment or bail. Instead he’s transported overnight to a medical research facility, sedated and left to answer for his crimes in what he would deem to be the pits of hell.

He’s carefully monitored, pumped with medication and used as a lab rat for illnesses to watch how his mutation may help him to recover- if at all. Cut open and stitched together again, regular interviews for insights on his ability and encouraged with rewards to see how far he could push his powers under supervision. Of course those rewards never met anything more exciting than a pudding cup with lunch or a ten minute stoll in the security monitored outdoor area. The three years he’s trapped there he learns a few things about himself and his mutation; no matter how many times they tried they couldn’t replicate it in a tube, even with the ability of cell reconstruction this hadn’t granted him immunity from the common cold and pudding cups definitely weren’t worth the amount effort he’d been putting in for them.

It was entirely by chance that a group of enraged mutants in the facility had grouped together to form a riot. The building caught up in an intentional blaze that triggered cell doors to swing open and allow their occupants to vacate. With such a perfect diversion in place, Jackson takes his opportunity to escape by shifting into the appearance of one of the women who had been treating him. Able to use her fingerprints to unlock the exit, the first thing he does is hot wires the Mercedes in the parking lot and takes off back on the road. They say old habits die hard, much could be said the same for Jackson. How easily he fell back into his old games of identity theft as if three years worth of reflection had taught him nothing.

He returns to what he does best, only now it was personal, the lust of rebellion replaced with spite for those who had been disceting him like a science project. Jackson spends his time examining the faces that appear in the media voice against mutant rights and the research entrepreneurs that treated as nothing more than a paycheck. It’s how he finds himself in Chicago, rumoured a place that was almost a santuary for mutants where he’d be able to meet like minded individuals. And of course, it’s how he finds The Jem Family. He’s still not entirely sure why Damien had taken a liking towards him, his only redeemable factor being that he was reckless enough to not question any given orders in which other members may shudder at. It was an overwhelming sense of finally belonging to something, that he’d mattered outside of his own world and could really make a difference.  

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

Luca Medoza: He finds them entertaining, his own laid back rebellion in contrast to something much bolder. Subtle versus out right in your face. He’d spend a lot of time with Luca, telling her what had happened in the latest true crime series he’d been watching and not minding too much when the only thing she picks up on was that he’d spent 10 hours straight binge watching on Netflix again.

Neve Kaplan: She’s the first person in a long time that he doesn’t hide any aspect of himself from. He let her see every aspect of his personality, the gritty details and forbidden secrets he hadn’t dared to share with anyone else. For a while she’d been his home, the missing part of the puzzle that could take the bitterness away and ease his own reckless behaviours, until she’s gone. It still stings when he see’s her, but it’s also a pleasant reminder that at least what he’d felt had been real.

Cain Douglas: He gets pleasure out of his visits and will show up even if the damage is nothing spectacular. He’s absolutely rolled up with a paper cut before and made it out as if he’d lost a limb over texts on his way there. Jackson gets most his kicks from aggravating the hell out of people and with Cain it was almost too easy. Although when he is genuinely hurt it does become a little more difficult of Cain to take him seriously with all the jokes he plays. Sometimes he’ll fake an injury just to get some advice, doctors and therapists are basically the same thing, right?

EXTRA: This section is completely optional. You can add anything here such as: more para samples, headcanons, mock blogs, edits, playlists, etc. Please note that because it is optional, putting everything or nothing in this section will not be a determining factor in your application. This is just for fun!

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/dean_ie/janus/

Tag: https://stereotypicalcancerwrites.tumblr.com/tagged/ch:%20jackson%20raemers

-Jackson is obsessed with snacking, or any opportunity to stuff his face with food really. He’ll take it personal if you go out for a meal and he doesn’t get an invite.

-He can’t function without a morning coffee. 3 shots served black with one spoonful of sugar. He’ll have another at noon because he’s a night owl and eternally paying the price.

-He has a fear of blood, it makes him feel dizzy and he’s absolutely the worst person to have around if you were in a serious injury. He’d pass out before you would.

-Jackson can sing The Element Song by Tom Lehrer perfectly from memory.

-He has a habit of seeing the world from a very cynical perspective and is always anticipating the worst to happen in any given situation. It allows him to feel less surprised or out of control when things do turn sour.

-Jackson has a doberman named Bella, as in Bella Swan- he was trying to be funny

-He doesn’t trust easily and as a result he’s pretty distant. He’s always got a guard up and is very reluctant to let people into his life as most people that have seen the real him have resulted in negative connotation.

-He is allergic to shellfish so if someone wanted to kill him…

-He is always using humour and bad behaviour as a defense mechanism from people getting too close to see the real him.

-He had a stutter as a kid due to low self-esteem. It occasionally comes back when he’s stressed or upset. It’s one of the giveaways for his shapeshifting.

-Jackson is a reckless driver

-He’s obsessed with 1970s music

-Jackson is a hoarder, he collects a lot of pointless stuff like the top of bottle caps, funny slogan tshirts and cheap sunglasses from dollar stores

-He hates having to dress up formally, he feels like it draws attention to him and not in a funny showing off sort of way

-He has numerous tattoos and none of them were what you’d consider ‘good’, they’re shitty or only there to illustrate some pun or memory of a drunken evening. He’s upset some of the scars from the research facility have beheaded a hulahooping stick men on his leg.

ANYTHING ELSE: Did you have any questions or any changes you wanted to discuss with us beforehand?

FC change to Casey Deidrick

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream  /  suffocating in this dream  /  long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

[littlerayofsebastian]

Unafraid of Being Me CHAPTER ONE Sebastain Stan & daughter ficlet

SUMMARY: Sebastian Stan has always had big dreams and hopes of becoming a father, but had never thought it to be achievable. True, it would’ve been easy to knock some girl up, but he wasn’t that kind of man. He wanted to fall in love, get married, start a family- do it the old fashioned way. But that’s not easy, with him being a famous actor with famous credentials to his name and high demanding roles in movies. But one day, he gets a phone call that changes his life forever…

         “Hey.”

         I glanced at my boyfriend from the corner of my eye, my posture straight, hands resting in front of me on the handrail.

         “You nervous?” Matt, my boyfriend since freshman year of high school asked me, his hand rubbing comforting circles into the back of my neck. I nodded, unable to speak, partly due to the muzzle- like mask that I wore as a part of my cosplay. “Do you need help getting that off?” He tapped the half mask that covered the bottom half of my face, going from underneath my chin and to midway up my nose. I nodded, turning my head so that he would have better access to the Velcro, snaps and buttons that kept the mask from sliding down my face.

The two of us didn’t have much time to stop by the hotel that we were staying at to get changed into normal, everyday clothes, so here we stood, with Matt dressed as Captain America and me dressed as the Winter Soldier.

“Thanks,” I smiled softly before turning back to face the sunset. He leaned on the railing so that we were more on level with each other- I was pushing four foot nine inches in height while Matt was six foot two inches. The two of us made a hysterical duo- the mouse sized girlfriend and her giant of a boyfriend. “What if I not he expect? What if he thinks I fake? What if-”

         “Okay, stop right there.” Matt wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders and pulled me in closer to his side in a comforting and loving hug. “If he doesn’t like you, then I swear on my life, I will personally kick his ass for you.”

         I barely cracked a smile as I leaned into his familiar body. We both stood there, in pensive thought until we heard the door behind us open. I grabbed a hold of Matt’s hand as we both turned around to face my biological dad.

         Matt turned me to face him and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug before pulling away to give me a loving kiss on the forehead. I stared up at him, terror on my face as I silently told him that I changed my mind- I didn’t want to meet my biological dad.

“Go on- I’ll be right here,” he told me, giving me a gentle push towards him. I took three or four hesitant steps towards him before stopping to glance over my shoulder. Matt smiled encouragingly at me and I took in a deep breath of air, and turned to take the remaining steps towards where he stood, seemingly in shock.

 Sebastian Stan stared at me, examining my face for any similarities. I closed my eyes, taking off the wraparound sunglasses that I had been wearing. His eyes widened- I had inherited his baby blue eyes and thick eyelashes that wrapped them; I had spent hours looking at pictures of him that I scrounged from online, comparing everything about us.

 Suddenly, he enveloped me in a bear hug, and I felt…

 Safe.

 The same kind of safe that I felt in Matt’s arms.

 “You have my eyes,” he mumbled from my shoulder. He pulled away and took my face into his hands. I then realized that he was on a knee, crouching down so that he was more at level with me. “You’re so beautiful.”

 My felt my face heat up- the only person to call me beautiful was Matt and my parents- everyone else called me pretty or cute.

 “You look so much like Stella,” he whispered. “How is she?”

 “Gave up adoption- hours old,” I scoffed, looking away- I hated seeing people’s reactions to hearing me talk for the first time. It was something that I was extremely self conscious of. “Researched- now porn actress.”

 He gently gripped my chin and pulled it towards him. I saw a gentle smile on his face.

 “Tell me when you’re ready,” he murmured softly. “I don’t need to know about your speech patterns right now.” He kissed me on the forehead before wrapping me in another hug.

 At that very moment, the Avengers theme song began to play and I pulled away from Sebastian to look on as Matt answered his phone.

“Hello? Hey, man… okay, okay, okay, text me the address? Okay cool- that’s to be determined. I’ll text you with an update, okay? Yeah, cool. See you.” He turned to face us, removing his cowl to scratch at his head. “That was Tony- wants to know if we can meet up with everyone for pizza in about forty five minutes.”

 I turned to face Sebastian. “Want come?” I loosely held his hand, swinging my arm.

 “I don’t want to intrude- I mean, they’re your friends-” he started to protest.

 I rolled my eyes.

 “Wrong answer- correct answer, yes,” I deadpanned, sending him a glare.

 “Okay, okay- on second thought, yes, I would love to join you,” he quickly corrected himself. “Do you need to change?”

 “Nah, we generally go out dressed up,” Matt answered causally. “It’s really cool- we get people that stop us for pictures, ask us about the numerous charities we partake in, etc.”

 “Much fun,” I piped in, shrugging my backpack up further onto my shoulders. “Make smiles, meet kids.”

 “What is it that you do professionally?” Sebastian asked, leading the way inside.

 “I work as a barista at Starbucks,” Matt answered, taking place on my other side and taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

 I leaning my head into Matt’s side. Out of the side of my eyes, I could see Sebastian’s eyes were on me as we made our way out to the front of the hotel where Matt, our mutual friends and I were staying while in New York.

 “In city, 5K, hospital visits, charity events,” I piped in shyly, burying my face into Matt’s side and he wrapped an arm around me, protectively pulling me in closer to him. “Much fun.”

 “Excuse me, but can we please get a picture?” a gentleman asked us, holding a little boy’s hand. He suckled on his hand as Matt gave the go ahead and the three of us quickly got into position.

 “Thank you!” the child squealed, giving the two of us big hugs around our knees before running off back to his father.

 “Love little kids,” I told Matt and Sebastian, a small smile on my face. We soon reached my boyfriend’s motorcycle- an exact replica of the one that Captain Rogers rides in First Avenger.

  Sebastian whistled softly as he walked around my boyfriend’s bike a couple of times, inspecting everything closely, but not touching.

 “You make all the modifications yourself?” he asked, turning to face Matt, who still had an arm wrapped protectively around me.

 “I can’t claim all the credit, sir,” Matt humbly responded, squeezing me gently. “Julianna here did the paint job and close up detail work, found a compatible engine and worked the oil.”

 “Work bike shop- mostly motorcycles and vintage cars,” I piped in, doing my best not to talk Sebastian’s ear off about Mustangs and Fords.

 Sebastian gave me an odd look as I awkwardly stood underneath Matt’s arm.

 “We go now?” I finally asked, drawing in the two men’s attention. I fitted my head with the 1940’s inspired helmet that Matt had commissioned for me three years ago, when he got his motorcycle license. Over my eyes I placed goggles, also custom made, though by me and my handy 3D printer.

  “Do you want to ride with me or Matt?” Sebastian asked me gently. In response, I jumped onto the back of Matt’s motorcycle, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my cheek in between his shoulder blades.

 “I’ll go get a taxi and follow you guys there, okay?” I could hear the slight tone of hurt in his voice as Matt’s started up the engine. We both sat there as Sebastian hailed a taxi before the three of us took off.

  TAGLIST

@sinner-as-saint​

@howaboutleeches1​

@panicfobmychem20171998-blog​

[janiedean]

Since we're in topic, do you have some advices for writers? Where do you begin when you write original stories and characters? The plot, the concept, the description of characters?

spewell considering that you’re talking to ‘oh hey I have the original idea that might work but I’ve been figuring it out for a whole year and a half’ take them with the necessary skepticism but since I did come up with some decent ocs in fic apparently my advice is probably not entirely shitty lol so with the premise that writing is Not A Science and other than reading a lot no advice is 100% foulproof especially if it doesn’t work for you...

I’d start with the concept, ie: what do you want your story to be about or what message do you want it to be about or what do you want to do with it. do you want to scare people? do you want to make people happy with quality entertainment but without writing a Serious Novel? do you want to write a sad thing to make a point? like, you need to know where you’re going with it in general;

when you have your concept, whichever it is - for one, without going in-depth let’s just say that my original novel concept that I’ve been trying to figure out for good is ‘blade runner meets high fidelity’ (don’t worry IT MAKES SENSE) -, you need to work at once both on main setting and protagonist. I mean, idk let’s just discuss a thing I wanted to write last year when I was thinking of sending original writing to this scifi anthology and then never managed because time and drama and real life happened and I couldn’t commit to it;

so, the theme of that anthology was ‘alternate peace’ ie write a short story where a situation that in history ended up in a fight/war/bloodbath is solved peacefully and write the alternate universe coming from it. so: I had to come up with the idea first because otherwise I wouldn’t have known where to start, then the worldbuilding, then the characters - ngl I think that if you have the worldbuild the characters come a lot easier but that’s me. so: I was like ‘what if I wrote something where the ludlow massacre never happens?’ (the ludlow massacre was tldr a strike in colorado which ended up with the strikers being mass killed by the national guard and in turned caused enough scandal to get unions/unionized labor a lot of traction in the US at least until maccarthysm.) then I didn’t, but in order I went like:a) if what happened is that it had repercussions on the history of unionized work in the US, if I did it so that the workers accepted a plea or smth and the rockfellers won without no one dying, those repercussions would Not Have Happened, nor it’d have created all the left-leaning literature/politics/thinking that came out of it, john reed wouldn’t have written about it etc, so I had elaborated an entire situation post-wwii where unions had all died long before, people were pretty much without any single social lifesaver and could get fired at will and it was basically dystopian hell with mccarthy being president or smth;b) at that point I was like, who do I put in this, and at that point I didn’t manage to go much forward but I had a feeling I should have some young person who was born after the not-massacre who had no idea of what went on talking to an older one that had actually been there and wished they hadn’t taken the deal;c) young dude would have been more or less cynical/not really much of a politics person, old dude would have been old school leftist who still wishes there could have been a better world and wishes the new generation would put two and two together and talk to their elders;d) young dude wouldn’t have known how to read/write because he wouldn’t have needed it for factory work, old dude would have etc;at that point I could have probably gone and gave them families (or not), or a friend (or not), and my general idea was having them discuss politics for the main part of the story, then old guy dies or smth like that and young guy actually gets the message and idk I basically wanted you to read it and feel like I felt when I listened to the ghost of tom joad, that was the general idea;that said, the characters were the last part i came up with because I needed the worldbuilding to know what character I wanted in it, which is why I’d say worldbuld first if you’re writing that kinda thing ie scifi, alternate history etc;

now, obv. if you’re writing the coffee shop au just in novel format or if you’re writing something lighter where the setting doesn’t matter, you need good characters first. I mean, if you write the coffee shop setting just to have a good love story you might want people to pick yours and not the umpteenth version of it with the same dynamic (same with the YAs with the sixteen year-old girl who thinks she’s ugly falling for the hot dude with abs and a bad attitude), so in that case I’d go for the characters. for one, if I had to write a YA, I’d make it with a girl who is actually ugly and has hobbies other than just reading and maybe plays in the school band or has some peculiar post-school job or idk can repair cars but is not good at everything she does and the guy would be moderately hot though not THE SPIT COPY OF DAMON SALVATORE JUST WITH GREEN EYES, he wouldn’t have a license and he wouldn’t think that it’s sexy to tell your girlfriend that you own her, and while I’m nowhere near interested in writing YAs, that would differentiate it from 99,9% of the YAs around from what I see, and so at that point I’d make sure I got the main two down and then I’d work on the friends and family and make them less stereotypical as possible so my YA is different from everyone else’s YA, and if any of them is a supernatural creature they suck at it and hate having supernatural magic and the likes. I mean, you want your characters to have a personality, but if you have a good worldbuilding behind them it might come after, if you don’t gaf about the worldbuilding and just want the standard setting work on the characters and try to give them depth before you plan anything else;

figure out where do you want your story to go before writing it - ie: the only reason I haven’t written the original yet is that idk what kind of spin I want the ending to have and I’m not 100% convinced so I’m not doing it yet, but if you don’t have the backbone of it planned then you’re going to lose steam or the plot will fuck you over (in my experience). like, try to have at least clear what happens in the main arc so that you know how to get from beginning to ending without needing to figure shit out as you go along, then you start, and if you change your mind while you do go with it, but try to start it knowing where you’re headed because it makes it easier imvho;

if you go for complicated shit like time travel figure that shit out before you start writing it including every possible repercussion because you’ll hate yourself if you don’t;

don’t try to re-do what others did obviously. I mean, if I wanted to write rep for non standard attractive cishet women I would not try to re-write brienne of tarth just changing the hair color. I would try to take the same tropes he’s using, change the setting and go with it, but it shows if you read a book and your character is the exact same as your favorite writer’s. like, if you read ian tregillis’s milkweed tryptich it’s going to be obvious that one of the main characters is the same tropes as jaime but that guy has enough personality differences and an enough different background and circumstances of upbringing that while you can see it has the same basics (generally nice guy forced to do horrid things who wants to redeem himself, live without his overbearing sister who wants to control him and has a generally straight moral compass), you don’t think ‘oh ian tregillis who is grrm’s friend has copied from him and put jaime lannister in a wwii alternate history trilogy’. like, we all have our tropes and our favorite writers and it’s good to take inspiration and homage them, but try to give your spin on those tropes you’re using, because otherwise it’ll just look lazy;

do whatever the fuck you want with your plot. don’t think about what others would want to read - it’s your story and you should tell it the way you want to. then please listen to criticism and find people who’ll provide it for you without tearing down your work but telling you what works and what doesn’t, but like... if you want to touch some themes or write characters from a different background or whatever do it;

also, do your research. I mean, I could have written the ludlow massacre story because:a) I read all of john reed’s articles pertaining to that specific happening and those articles include interviews with the people who were there, a description of who they were, an extremely detailed reconstruction of the facts and so on;b) there’s folk songs, two novels and one opera on ludlow not including history books, so it’s not only easily readable upon, but you also can see the impact it had in media/the american culture.so, even if I’m not american, having read all of that, I could have probably gone for it and done a decent job, find someone with a history degree to veto it and go for it. but like, again, unless you’re writing the coffee shop au or the ya or the kind of novel that does not require an established setting or you are making the entire worldbuilding up from scratch with no influences from the real world, you can’t not do at least some basic research. and when reading something, it does show if the author has at least done basic research or if they’re winging it. then they might be good enough that you don’t care they’re winging it, but still, research XD because research also gives you a lot more ideas that you might not have taken previously into account and might save you a plot detail or so;

I also would advice not to write what you know - because that’s easy and it doesn’t let you go out of your comfort zone and at some point what you know will finish -, but: write something you know. as in, my blade runner + high fidelity au should be scifi and touch stuff idk shit about, but since it’s a high fidelity au half of it is supposed to be set in a (pseudo) record shop and the protagonist miiiiiight have a thing or a hundred for springsteen. now: who has spent half of her life in record shops and is into bruce? yes, me. now, the character in question has zero in common with yours truly except for that, but let me tell you that if there is one thing I know how to write that you can’t convince me I couldn’t write is someone into springsteen who hangs around record shops. I know my people and I know why someone would be into springsteen. like, when making up characters and you want to make them relatable or you want to relate to them more, give them one thing you can relate to even if it’s dumb - idk you like strawberries? that character also likes strawberries and so on - because that will get you closer to them and your reader will feel it. it’s a thing I do with fanfic all the time - like if I have to try and write someone IC I try to relate to one thing they have if I can, because that makes the characters more relatable and it’s easier. ie when I was like ‘how do I crack the jaime pov’ the answer was ‘ALL THE BAD SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOR YOU DO ALL THE TIME GO DOWN ON IT’ bc that’s what I relate to jaime for and so on. idk that is a thing that’s always helped me when coming up with any character so I guess it might be useful advice? *shrug*

(obv: if you’re writing a 100% bad guy that you don’t empathize with then you don’t have to, I mean grrm did say he had to take a shower after writing chapters from A Certain POV because it’s horrible being in their head so like.... you can feel disgust at what you’re writing esp. if it’s the POV of a terrible person, but That Character resonated with people and felt relatable to some of them because to them they had... RELATABLE moments/humane moments too so if you’re writing bad guys but try to not make them cardboard cuts/TOO HORRIBLE it will make them stronger as *bad guys*. mvho.)

but mostly: read a lot of stuff, try to put your spin on things and don’t gaf about what people think until you finished it. then you can worry about concrit xD

[onethrills]

hewwo it’s me yet again

( KIM NAMJOON. CIS MALE. ) Rumor has it that ( TAEIL BAEK ) has been spotted skulking around  New York City streets recently. ( HE ) is a ( 24 ) year old ( LYCAN. ) They have a good reputation for being ( DETERMINED & STRONG, ) but have also been known to be rather ( AGGRESSIVE & EXPLOSIVE. ) They’re known for being the ( THE LOOSE CANNON. )

taeil was born & raised in miami, florida to two parents heavily involved in their community & basically just? very outgoing and active people with lots of family surrounding them at all times, which was how taeil grew up. both his mother & his father are firefighers & taeil has a lot of memories of staying at the firehouse & hanging out with their co-workers, often just sitting by himself quietly & playing with toys, doing puzzles, etc. he was always really good at puzzles.

whenever he was at home it was a big mess. there was constantly hustle & bustle, especially considering his home was multi-generational; his mother’s father & his dad’s mother both lived with them. taeil remembers a lot of smells, mostly, his grandfather always cooking one korean dish or another for them to all sit down and have a meal together, taking advantage of any time both of his parents had off. those were some of his favorite evenings, and he often stood in the kitchen, offering help to his grandfather and learning from him through that.

at home his family pretty much exclusively speaks korean, and taeil is bi-lingual as a result, though he’s not the best still when it comes to speaking his second tongue. he’s pretty good, but a native korean speaker would be able to pick out the flaws if they were to hear him.

school was always something that he was encouraged to work very hard at, and that’s exactly what he did. taeil is pretty intelligent on his own, and putting his work ethic behind it helped him to excel exceptionally, getting high marks and keeping an above average GPA throughout his entire career. his parents never pressured him into feeling he needed to pick a certain career path; they were always happy with whatever he decided he wanted to do, regardless of how many times it changed.

when taeil first entered the 9th grade, he met somebody that sort of changed everything. it was a boy his age, and they became fast enough friends that it seemed to happen overnight. one afternoon when they were let out of school, taeil went to this boy’s uncle’s garage with him, and that was when he first started taking a real interest in cars. from there on out he went back to that garage almost every day, staying out of the way for the most part, but learning as well. it was a place of business, so he wasn’t allowed to help with anything that would actually benefit that particular facet, but once work hours were over & his friend’s uncle began to touch on other projects, taeil got his opportunity he was seeking.

over the next few years, he got more and more skilled with cars. he absorbed knowledge like he couldn’t get enough, and he was good at it. at sixteen he had his license, and he could also begin working at the garage as an actual part-time employee. through that connection, he ended up saving enough to start working on his own project. a car for himself.

it wasn’t until seventeen that he started getting involved in things he shouldn’t. that he realized just how good he was at what he did. he graduated, but he stayed working where he was, upping his hours to full time. he flourished beyond what anybody — including his parents — thought that he would do, making money quicker than seemed possible given the rate of his wages. there was a reason for that.

TW FOR DRUGS

what he learned after gaining the trust of the people around him is that the garage he worked at was barely anything more than a front for a rather shady business that was going on behind the scenes. the shop was used as a place to modify vehicles for the purpose of smuggling drugs, and they were also heavily involved in drag racing that happened late at night in the empty miami streets. taeil was always far more interested in the latter, and moreover, he became incredible at it. he won more often than he lost, and he made copious profit from all the betting that happened.

TW FOR DEATH/CAR ACCIDENT/DRUNK DRIVING

unfortunately, it was at age 18 that his life changed for the worse. tragically, his best friend and then-boyfriend was killed in a drunk driving accident, and it pretty much turned his whole world upside down. the decision that he made to leave the city entirely was heat of the moment and driven by emotion and a feeling of helplessness. remaining in his same neighborhood, going back to his same job, and being surrounded by reminders of him became too much, and he ended up going to his boss and begging him for a relocation. feeling for him, the man decided to use some of the connections involved in his business to help taeil relocate to another city.

his grandparents on his father’s side were in and out of his life at best, but there always had to be some way that his parents afforded their fancy house on firemen salaries, and taeil didn’t start thinking about that until he was older. as it turned out, they own a rather successful oil company, and a trust had been set up for him at a young age. when he turned 16, he gained access to it, and that’s when all hell broke loose. riding low off of the death of his lover, he took to partying, drinking, racing and fighting like nobody else. he had so much anger in him he couldn’t get rid of, and that wouldn’t stop no matter how fast he drove or how many people he knocked out.

years later, and he is still up to his old ways, only stopping the drinking in order to work, and only stopping the fighting when he saw his parents or grandparents. when he ended up being sent away, he just became more angry and frustrated, but that never stopped him from doing what he wanted to do. reform isn’t an option, as far as he’s concerned.

then one night, everything changes. things are... difficult for him on this night in particular, on the anniversary, and maybe he drives a little too fast, a little too recklessly. taeil causes the accident that night, hitting a street light, and his life is almost ended as a result of it. instead, it changes completely.

life as a lycan is difficult to adjust to, but he has his maker, and he has his pack, and even though it’s only been a year, it’s getting easier by the day.

PERSONALITY

taeil is a bit of a wild card, in all honesty. he’s fast to smile and just as fast to hide his emotions behind a blank face; what he’s quicker with is to become angry, which isn’t a good thing at all. he’s a bit uncertain when it comes to how he’ll be from one moment to another, and fickle in his moods and his mindset at times. quick wit and a penchant for sarcasm is obvious from the moment one meets him, but it’s not cruel sarcasm; it’s dry, and a bit silly most of the time. he’s got a colorful sense of humor that he exercises as often as he can, and as inappropriately as he can. things catch his attention fairly easily, but they also lose him easily as well, and he flits from thought to thought as easy as breathing. when he fixates on something, however, he becomes quite loyal to it, whether it be an idea, an occupation, or a person.

being fast-paced is pretty much a necessity for him, or so he feels. anything that slows him down is something he will say he is not interested in. he’s here for a good time and a good time only, and heavy stuff like emotions are something he both craves and wants to avoid like the plague. he’s torn between the way that people have made him feel before, and the way that they have hurt him, and he has hurt them back. differentiating is almost impossible.

respect is something he takes rather seriously, despite the way that he behaves with cracking jokes and dropping lines. whenever he’s around his family or around his elders, he’s deferential towards them nearly entirely. being grown as he is some things about it have changed, but at his core, he believes that he should always treat them the same as he ever has.

“QUICK” FACTS

taeil is a really good cook! his grandfather taught him everything he knows, both when they made family meals, and when they went down to the firehouse where his parents worked and made dinner for the entire crew.

loves memes probably a little too much. catch him quoting memes at obnoxiously inappropriate times and pretty much just annoying everyone around him.

since moving, he’s gained a bit of a reputation in the underground for being one of the best in the world of drag race.

multi-lingual. he grew up speaking korean in his home, and though he’s not the best with it (whenever his great-grandmother skypes him from south korea, she roasts the fuck out of him for this lmao), he’s still pretty proficient. he learned spanish as he grew up as well.

he unfortunately suffers from rheumatoid arthritis, having both good and bad days with it. it’s treated and it isn’t too bad, but given the fact he does manual labor for 8+ hours a day, he does have flare-ups and off times when he’s in a lot of pain. he jokingly says his joints turn him into a 90 year old man. the worst parts for him are usually his fingers/hands and his wrists.

he loves snow. winter is his favorite season. despite that, he’s quite sensitive to the cold due to the climate he grew up in back in florida, and he tends to get whiny when the temperatures drop too slow even with his childlike excitement regarding snow still not having worn off after so long.

sleeps around a bit, but never really gets attached to anybody. if the right person came along he probably would, but… he’s a bit more guarded with his heart now due to what he went through.