#not in this case since its pretty clear we're two different people talking to people like in an ask

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi Quil!

It was awesome to hear from you! I had a few add-ons/clarifications to my last note to you:

By “autistic theatre kid” I actually meant myself! I’ve been wanting to kind of “come out” to you as autistic for a while, but I was overthinking my words and I think my language was a little confusing. But yeah! I’m also autistic!

I’ve actually been listening to some of EPIC: The Musical recently, partially thanks to you! I found it at first a while ago because I had to read The Odyssey for school (it was a fun read, so if you haven’t read it I’d recommend) and I was looking at musical animatics and it came up. And then I was hanging around your blog a few weeks ago and you reblogged a post talking about how the Circe Saga would be coming out for Valentine’s Day, so you actually got me back into it! Some of my favorite songs from it are “The Horse and The Infant”, “Warrior of the Mind”, and “Done For” – what are your favorites?

Also, I love the description of a “hearth”! I had to stop and look that word up but it fits really well. It also reminds me of a book that I’m reading right now that I want to tell you about, but that’s a longer story so I’ll try to remember to tell you later.

Also I had one extra question: Do you know if submissions get sent differently than asks? Every time I send one there’s this message that it’s “awaiting moderator approval”, but I don’t actually know what that’s about so if you know anything about how submissions work vs. asks that would be helpful. 

But yeah! Also I’d love to hear about your day if you’d like to share. I personally had a lower-key day today with a lot of studying because I have a really hard test coming up soon, but it was actually a pretty good day! I also finished this book called Belle of the Ball that has an all-girls love triangle going on and it’s really sweet and pretty!

Enjoy your day!

- Amethyst

~

Hello again, Amethyst!! I’ll go through your points one by one for clarity :)

1. Ah, it’s me who wasn’t clear enough here--I understood what you were saying. Me saying “I also love musicals--though my partner’s the theater kid, not me” was me making a connection to you! You said you were an autistic theater kid who loved musicals, so I went oh! I also love musicals--but am not a theater kid. my partner is though! establishing similarities and distinctions, that kind of thing. but I can 100% see how my wording made that confusing. and woo! autism buddies!

2. HELL YEAH!! I love Epic, it’s like 70% of my current music. I haven’t read the Odyssey myself yet, but I’ve always wanted to get around to it--same with the Iliad. There’s a bunch of famous classics I want to check out, some for genuine interest and some just so I can have context (like the Divine Comedy).

I think my top three songs--at least of what’s released are: Ruthlessness, My Goodbye, and Open Arms. Though I love so many more than that--Wouldn’t You Like, Done For, Warrior of the Mind. Teagan Early just has such a lovely voice.

3. Yeah!! A thing I’ll do, especially when I’m talking to other autistic people, is use atypical words to describe feelings. Feeling like fireworks, or a rusty pipe, or an aching hourglass. Because they’re such specific feelings sometimes, and I can generalize, but it’s not quite right--and I’ve found, at least w/ anecdotal evidence, it’s something other autistic people also do or understand. Also curious to hear more about this book :)

And yes, submissions are a bit different than asks. When you submit a post, it’s submitted to be posted as if I had made it. I add text to respond to you, but usually submissions are posted as they’re received. You’re using it like the askbox--which is totally fine, but a typical submission can be posted without other people knowing it wasn’t me. There is a label in the tags that marks it as a submission, but if people don’t see that (they don’t look, it gets reblogged and people don’t check the og tags), it looks like any other post I’ve made. Which means that I need to approve it for publication, as it’ll look more like it’s coming from my mouth, and I don’t want people putting words in my mouth. 

Asks clearly separate the asker from the answerer, but submissions don’t, so whoever you submit something to (me in this case) is the moderator who has to approve having it on their blog (there are a few blogs whose whole gimmicks are submissions--like one-time-I-dreamt where we know different people are submitting their different dreams, but that’s generally an outlier)

And my day! Right now it’s still fairly early (about 7:30), so I haven’t done much--I’ll have to review a few of my classmates’ short fiction pieces for tomorrow and finalize mine to turn in. But otherwise I’m going to try and take it very slow and easy, since tomorrow is my long day and I haven’t had the most restful weekend. My nana was in town with my 7yo cousin, and they were with my cousin’s friend and her grandma. And we don’t see extended family often so they wanted to visit.

However, my family is...not great with guests. We’re not rude, it’s just really hard on us. It’s a big disruption to our routines, and we’re a very routine oriented family just naturally (sans my dad). And we’re a VERY quiet household, which is interrupted by having even one person over. especially since my dog is very anxious and doesn’t even trust my dad, who he lives with. So four people in our house--especially since this side of my extended family is horrible at giving heads up--two of whom are very energetic children? woof. they came over twice so I. need to recharge a little before tomorrow.

but thank you for the well wishes! i return them back upon you :)

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 6

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 4K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

This one's a little longer than the last few, but it's one I was really excited to get to for a while. I hope you guys like it! We're starting to get into the nitty gritty! Once again please let me know what you think of it! Thank you all for your support :)

__________

After your emotional conversation with Pedro, you were worried he'd stop talking to you. At least, it seems that's how it usually works. Whenever you try to have a conversation about emotions with someone, it gets shut down. But surprisingly.. it didn't push Pedro away at all. The two of you talk nearly every day on the phone, and when you don't, it's made up for with plenty of text messages. You don't even have to be the first to communicate, either. It just feels natural. It doesn't need to be over-thought.

You keep telling yourself not to get your hopes up, but at the same time, you feel like maybe it's turning into something. Something more than friends. You couldn't help but wonder if Pedro felt the same way, or if maybe he's just a really nice guy.

Despite these feelings, you're still hesitant to tell him you love him. Although he put many of your fears to rest, you continued to be nervous. You were inexperienced. You were significantly younger than him. You led two very different lives. And even though he reassured you about your appearances, it doesn't mean you'd be his type once he actually saw you. Shoot, you don't even know if he's interested in pursuing a relationship.

Plus, now there's the risk of messing up a new friendship. Why ruin it?

How does anyone ever get into a relationship? Others make it look so easy, jumping from relationship to relationship like their heart isn't at stake.

Maybe someday you'd tell him. Maybe someday you'd share these other fears as well. But not yet. You weren't ready.

_____

About a week had gone by since you first talked on the phone, and it was around 1 PM when he called you.

"Hey Pedro!"

"Hey there, songbird," he replied cheerily.

"Songbird?" You giggled.

"If you hate it-"

"No, I love it. It's sweet," you blushed.

"Okay good. But the reason I'm calling is because I saw something on Instagram…"

"Oh yeah? What of?"

"About you. When were you going to tell me?"

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh what? What is he referring to?

You nervously laughed "I… what? Tell you what now?"

"Your album is coming out in a WEEK!??!" He practically yelled with excitement.

Seriously… this guy. Giving me a damn heart attack.

"OH" you replied sheepishly. "You scared me, thinking you heard… I dunno"

"Oh! I'm sorry. No. I haven't heard any information that you haven't told me yourself, nor would I believe it anyway. Other than.. this album!!!" Pedro announced like a gameshow host.

You laughed before replying "yes, yes, the album comes out next week! They just announced it I guess."

Pedro clapped and shouted. "CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so happy and proud of you!!!!!!!!"

You weren't looking in a mirror, and he couldn't see you either, but you could bet money that your cheeks were a bright shade of pink. "Thank you, Pedro!" You giggled, your face beginning to hurt from the large smile he caused.

"How are you celebrating? Is the studio doing anything for you?"

"Well they mentioned an album release party, but being that nobody really knows me I don't know who I would even invite. Plus I'm not sure that a large thing like that is how I'd like to show myself to the world. A little too ceremonious for my liking." You grimaced.

"Well, I happen to think you deserve something ceremonious, even if you don't think you do. And I think we should celebrate."

"We - you - you do? You mean…?" You stuttered in disbelief.

"You and me," he said matter-of-factly.

"You.. and… What did you have in mind?" 

Frankly you didn't know what to think.

"Well. I was thinking… Maybe we could listen to the album together? We could talk on the phone and listen, and it would be like our own little album release party. You wouldn't have to show yourself or meet people. It would just be like our normal conversations. Except I'd get to hear your new music and talk about it with you. If you want," he said, sounding slightly nervous.

Your heart swelled at the gesture and you agreed happily. The two of you made a plan to "meet" at 7PM and listen together the night of your album release. And he promised he wouldn't listen without you.

_____

It wasn't until after you were off the phone with him that you began to overthink the songs on your album. Not unlike your first single, these were also rather vulnerable at times. Sure, he knew a lot, and he'd listen to the album anyway. Probably. But still. To hear it… together? You were starting to feel like you were in over your head.

Nevertheless, the week continued on like normal. Work, talking to Pedro, hanging with Skipper. You agreed to a few more interviews in article or voice format after the release, and signed a few last minute things.

As the album date approached closer, Pedro texted you one day.

"Okay I'm going to ask you something and I want you to trust me okay. I'm not going to do anything that I know you would hate."

"Okay…" what does this man have up his sleeve?

"Can I have your address?"

Why does he want my address???? The panic settled in. But, you did like him; and he hadn't crossed any boundaries yet. In fact, he's been one of the most understanding of your qualms.

So. You sent him your address.

"Thank you ❤️" Pedro replied.

A heart !?! A red one!? 

"You're welcome. Also… I was planning to tell you anyway, but if you're looking for my address I may as well tell you…" you told him your real name. Not your stage name. Not a nickname. But your name. First, Last. All of it.

"Thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll keep it safe," reassured Pedro.

"Thank you, P."

"Of course. You have a beautiful name, by the way."

Your heart did a somersault.

_____

The album release date was finally here and you aren't sure you slept a wink. You were a bundle of nerves and excitement. You loved him and always enjoyed chatting together. This was exciting. But also these songs are so personal. This is a big moment. This was a big plan. And why did he want your address anyway?

~~~~~

Meanwhile at Pedro's place, he was just as nervous. He had started out excited, but then he got into his head. His plans for the evening started feeling too romantic. He didn't want you to get the wrong idea. He liked you, but he didn't want to push it. Maybe he was showing too many feelings towards you. You love someone else, and him not respecting that is rude. All you want is a friend and he's just going to seem like another one of those creepy guys trying to get into your pants.

But it was too late now, the plans were in motion, and maybe you'd enjoy it. Who knows. Either way, he loved your friendship, and friends could do this kind of thing for each other… right??

~~~~~

Throughout the day, you paced your house before finally leaving with Skipper in tow. "We gotta get some air, buddy. I'm losing it over here," you said while clipping his leash.

Stepping out of the house, you two went for a long walk, circled back toward home, and plopped down on your lawn. The house still felt too small in preparation for this evening, whatever it was. Why does it feel different anyway? It's just another phone call..? Unless….

Truth be told, while Pedro had his secret plans, you also had some of your own. Whether you followed through with them or not was up to your nerves.

After some sunbathing with your pup, you both head inside. The sun was starting to set, and you realized it was getting closer to the meetup time you chose with Pedro.

_____

6 PM.

You stared at the TV, not really absorbing anything on the screen, but needing a distraction. This afternoon you opted for a show that Pedro was not in. For once, you needed to not see his handsome face. You needed something else. Half paying attention while picking at a hangnail, you jump out of your skin at the sight of your phone lighting up. Pedro texted.

"Picking out my outfit for tonight! Always important to look nice for celebration."

Shit… he's not coming over is he?! That's why he wanted my address?!

"Wait…" you pondered how to phrase your question without sounding like a panicked asshole, when all you wanted to say was "what the fuck do you MEAN!?!"

I'm not dressed. I'm in sweats and covered in dog hair. I don't have makeup on. Oh no.

"Wait… is that why you wanted my address?"

"Oh. Nooo, no no. No, sweet girl, don't worry. I'm not coming over unexpectedly and interrupting your hiding place. I just think it's still important to dress nice."

"Oh..Okay.."

It was around 6:15 when he texted a picture of himself wearing a white button up with a dark blue suit and matching tie. He wore dark-frame glasses and his hair was slightly tamed, but still showed his messy curls. He looked gorgeous.

But as you scanned his body you noticed that instead of dress shoes, he wore a pair of polka dot socks. He had a goofy grin and his one eyebrow was cocked. You grinned.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go," he said.

"You're a goof, P. But I appreciate the effort."

A pause.

"Also, you look really handsome" you nervously hit send before you had a chance to chicken out.

Bold. Probably shouldn't have said that. But hey, friends compliment each other.

"Why thank you. A big accomplishment like this requires all the stops."

He timed this message right to the minute. As you read his text, your doorbell rang.

You opened the door to find two boxes. One large, one small. A delivery boy was getting into his car. 

"Delivery from your biggest fan. 

-❤️, P"

He… he sent me some kind of care package?? And put a heart? And said he's my biggest fan?

You squealed and carried the boxes into the house. "What's this!?" You texted Pedro.

"Open them and see!"

You immediately open them. Inside the larger box was a variety of items. The first thing you noticed was a small vase holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. To the right of that was a bag, which you opened and found your favorite meal, from your favorite restaurant. 

Wow, this is elaborate. 

Below the food was another small bag holding your favorite dessert, and finally to the left, your favorite drink.

I can't believe he remembered all of my favorite things.. This is so thoughtful.

When you moved the flower vase, you noticed one more small item. Is that a… corsage?? You texted Pedro the question.

"Yep!" He sent, with a photo of a matching flower on his lapel.

Remembering you still had the small box, you opened the box flaps, wondering what could possibly be left for him to give you. On top of it was another note.

"For a handsome boy.

- ❤️, your mom's friend, Pedro"

Under the note was a jar of peanut butter, a squeaky anchor toy, and…? What's this?

You unwrap a small paper wrapping to find a dog-sized black bowtie. Shut up.

"SKIPPER!!! Look what Pedro gave you, buddy!"

He padded over to you and let you hook the dressy accessory around his neck. With the clip adjusted, he sat back, looking proud of his new fashion. You quickly snapped a picture and texted it to Pedro.

"I can't believe you did all this, Pedro. Not only did you send all this, but you remembered my favorite things? You remembered all the details from when I first met Skipper. My favorite food, dessert, drink, and flower? That's so sweet, this is all too much Pedro..  Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. I.. I don't even know what to say."

You're amazing and I love you. Is what I want to say.

"You're welcome." He texted back. "Like I said, you deserve a celebration. Plus…"

Pedro sent a photo of his table, set up with the same food and drink, with the caption "now it's like we're having a dinner party."

It was nearing the time to meet, but you still had to do one more thing. You had pondered it earlier in the day, but fully decided it when Pedro sent the photo of himself dressed up. It's now or never.

_____

6:45 PM.

Pedro sat waiting for a reply after he sent his dinner photo. It had only been a couple minutes, but his hands were sweaty and his leg was shaking under the table. Finally, his phone went off. You sent… a video?

He opened it and pressed play. There, he saw you rotating your wrist with the corsage on it. The first time he's ever seen your wrist, hand, or arm before. The first time he's even seen your skin tone.

Geez you act like you're in the Victorian ages, pull yourself together, he rolled his eyes at himself for being so overjoyed.

Next, the video panned to Skipper in his bowtie, looking handsome as ever. The camera zoomed in on him and he looked up into the view with his big brown eyes. 

And then…

The camera panned to the side, and showed a mirror. A full length mirror, where you stood. He scanned your body from your perfectly done up hair and makeup, down your body to your dress. You wore your favorite dress, (in your favorite color, he noted) which showed off your body in the best ways. He looked down to the floor and noticed that you too were wearing fun socks instead of shoes. You wore a pair of striped socks and wrote in your caption "all dressed up and nowhere to go."

His heart picked up and he could feel himself breathing unevenly. He finally saw you. And you were gorgeous. He couldn't help the smile that enveloped his face.

Fuck. She's beautiful… I'm screwed. 

She loves someone else. She loves someone else. She loves someone else. Forget your feelings.

Despite his struggle, he knew he wanted, and needed, to tell you how beautiful he thought you looked. This was a big step to show yourself, and he also knew how self-conscious you felt about your body.

"Wow, you're so beautiful."

You blushed, replying with a quick thank you with a heart, then sending a second message asking if he was ready to listen. The video wasn't the only trick you had planned up your sleeve tonight.

______

The clock turned to 7 PM and Pedro hit the dial for your number. You answered the phone and said a quick "hang on" to set up the shared listening party link for your album. Once sent, you took a deep breath and steadied your nerves. Then, you took the plunge.

"Okay I got the link! I'm so exci - what - wait, is this an accident?" Pedro's hand fumbled as he received your incoming video chat request, his heart picking up to a galloping pace.

"Nope! You can answer it. If you want.."

He quickly swiped the accept button and there you were. Clad in your favorite dress, sitting at a table with the meal he sent in front of you. He could see himself in the corner square, dressed in his suit, with nearly the identical table setup and food.

He couldn't help but notice on his own video screen that his cheeks were turning rosy and his mouth curled into a large smile. But he was too happy to be shy about his blush.

"So this is you," he said.

"This is me," you replied shyly, but still with a huge smile and blush plastered on your face, matching Pedro's.

"You look.." he sighed shakily "..wow.."

"You look pretty wow yourself there," you said with a shy giggle.

Both of you let out gentle laughs, feeling a warm glow as your stomachs felt matching butterflies of nerves, excitement, and… maybe something else.

"So should we listen, I guess?" You asked nervously.

He didn't answer. He was looking at the screen, eyes scanning the video. 

Is he blushing? You wondered. But why would he be? He doesn't like me back… right?

He still hadn't answered you when you finally said "Pedro?? Did you hear me?"

He snapped out of it, somehow turning more crimson. "Oh! Sorry… yeah! Let's listen."

Your nerves were off the charts. Some of these songs were so vulnerable. The ones at the end of the album were the most telling of all.

But as the two of you ate your dinners while listening to your new album, you began to relax. The night was filled with him giving praise and you giving background information on the meanings and production of the songs. 

"Are all the different instruments and harmonies played by you?"

"They are! The studio offered studio musicians but I had originally played them all when I wrote it and wanted to keep it a one woman show."

"You're incredible," Pedro said, shaking his head.

You blushed, for the billionth time today.

When it came to "Imaginary Love" Pedro grinned. "Hey I know this one! The one that started it all." 

"Yep!" You agreed and he began lip syncing to the lyrics dramatically. Little did he know, those lyrics were actually about him. You giggled as he acted out a soulful rendition of the chorus.

"You know, this whole journey has been a real rollercoaster and there have been times I've wished I hadn't posted that song..."

Pedro looked at you with that puppy dog look of his and you continued "but then I remember… that if I never posted it, I would've never started talking to you, and it makes it all worth it."

Pedro placed his hand on his heart and pouted his lip. "I agree. I'm glad to have met you. If I didn't love this song already, that alone would be enough reason for me to consider it one of my favorites.

You grinned and looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. The two of you continued to listen, having long finished your dinner. Conversation flowed easily, and you couldn't help but feel like you were on a date. Not that you had much experience with that, but from what you'd seen in movies and shows, this felt very date-like. And you didn't want it to end.

But as the album went on, you approached the last two songs. The ones you were scared of most. The most vulnerable of the album. 

The second to last began to play.

'It's hard to imagine craving something that I've never had.

Dumb to be so desperate for something I've gone without.

But when I'm alone and thinking to myself, I need it so bad.

I crave it like a drug, but one I know nothing about.

Your kiss on my lips, or any kiss at all.

It hasn't happened yet, no matter how hard I fall.

The years keep passing, but still no love.

The years go by, but still no kisses.

I keep wondering and praying up above,

I guess I'm unkissable, despite my wishes.'

Pedro furrowed his brow, looking at you, searching for something. He read the title of the song, "Unkissable," and looked up again, opening and closing his mouth to find the right words.

"Do-" he stopped himself and pondered his wording again. "Is- are all these songs true?"

You stared at the table, picking your nail against the wood. "Yes."

"You really believe that?"

"... I mean… I don't know… maybe… I guess…" you avoided his gaze, but could feel it.

"And you've never-"

"Kissed anyone before? No. I haven't."

"But you've wanted to?"

"Yes," you whispered, starting to feel tears prick at your eyes.

Pedro shifted his lips to the side in thought before finally saying "well… you're still young. It'll happen."

"I'm 26, Pedro. Most people have kissed by the time they've graduated high school. I just… missed the boat I guess. It's okay. I'm just being silly. I don't want it that bad. We can maybe listen to something else now."

"Hey, hey. Don't shut down on me," he asked pleadingly. "26 is still very young, and don't worry about whenever everyone else has done things. Everyone does things at their own pace. I'm sorry you haven't experienced it yet, especially when you want it so badly, but I know that when it does happen, it'll probably be better than any kiss you would've had with some 15 year old boy you would've had in high school."

You laughed, breaking your tears for a minute. "Thanks Pedro."

"Of course. And hey, don't think of yourself as unkissable. Any guy should be so lucky to be with you. Maybe the guy you wrote about in your song will be your first."

"Maybe… I hope so. Thank you."

While your heart bloomed at the kind words and prospect of maybe kissing Pedro in the future, Pedro's heart began to ache. Not only was he sad for you when you wanted love so desperately, but he also couldn't help but feel sad hearing you want to kiss another man. He wants to be that guy for you. He wasn't joking when he said any man would be lucky. But especially knowing now your true age, 22 years younger than him, he knew for sure your crush couldn't be him. You were way too young to be interested in a 48 year old man. He was silly for even entertaining the idea.

But at least he had a new friend. And as he thought longer, he thought about his best friend Sarah, and her relationship. They have a huge age gap, 32 years, but they're happy. And he's happy for her. It doesn't feel weird with them. Could he have that with you? Or is he in over his head?

The last song on the album began to play. This one was less vulnerable, but if he decided to look at the lyrics and notice patterns, he'd see it in the chorus. 

'People have a lot to say

Everyone loves or hates me

Don't know what I did today

Right now you're all I can see

Only want to be with you.

Please, love me too.'

You're sure the obsessive listeners will figure out the acrostic, and if Pedro looks up the lyrics, he might too. But either way, it's out there. All you can do is hope for the best and eventually you're sure it'll come out anyway.

 This wasn't one you were sure about putting on the album, but when the studio read through your personal songbook, they went insane over it. They figured it out quickly, and they promised they'd keep it to themselves. Luckily they have so far, but if money came calling, you think they'd sell your heart faster than you could say no.

The song, and album, came to a close and Pedro looked up at the screen once again, staring into your eyes. "Once again your music has blown me away."

Whether he put together the end or not, he wasn't letting on.

"Thank you Pedro. I really appreciate it. And thank you for tonight. It was truly special and I mean it when I say it's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. You didn't have to go through all that trouble," you said thoughtfully.

"It was no trouble. You deserve congratulations for your album," Pedro replied with a smile.

Right.. it's just a congratulations. Nothing else. You sighed.

"Thank you. I'm really glad we did this. Talk again soon?" You asked.

"Absolutely. It was wonderful to meet you finally," Pedro said, finishing the sentence with your real name and smiling.

"It was great to meet you too, Pedro."

__________

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading.

Looking for more? Next chapter!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97

[thedawningofthehour]

I just saw a video from one of my favorite content creators, called My little pony: a new generation. the banality of facism, it sounds ridiculous, but that's why I like it. in general, besides summarizing facism to your Daddy/Mommy issues turned into your political ideology and how capitalism opens its arms until it gets stabbed, it talks about how facism is a self-destructive ideology since it is sustained by the fear of the 'other', but once this 'other' is defeated, facism has to look for someone else to call 'other' and so on until they end up killing each other. (the video is in Spanish, so I can't really recommend it).

Draxum seeks to found a Utopia based on facism, which is impossible, spreading hatred and terror towards humans in order to put the Yokai as the superior race, Draxum believes that once the majority of humans are mutated, there will no longer be discrimination by race, however, facism is not a fire that goes out just like that, it will seek to continue burning and look for its next target: the mutants.

I don't remember which was the chapter in which Gale and Draxum have a conversation about this, in which Draxum can't understand why the Yokai and mutants would fight each other.

You've posted about this before, and it's made clear in the story that the many Yokai who follow Draxum see mutants as only one step above humans, which isn't much either.

I know the story is about Donnie and his family trying to get him back, that the whole war thing came later. But I really, REALLY need Draxum to have his reality shock at the end, especially since I know it would hurt him. I don't know how he would do it, maybe Bishop would be the one to give him the talk (wouldn't that be ironic) that depending on him being an ally of the turtles and having a relationship with immortality, in which case, he would have experience.

It's really interesting studying anthropology, learning how different social stratas formed across history and regions and the different factors that influenced it. People will start categorizing themselves no matter what you do, and they'll come up with bullshit to justify one category being better than the other. This fact is pretty much constant throughout all of history, but the details change. I could write a whole paper on the evolution of ethnic groups throughout history and remnants of tribal mindsets-in fact, I did start, but I was writing a lot and just kind of info-dumping, so I'm not gonna do that.

We're seeing the whole 'fascism needs a scapegoat' right now in the U.S., (and all the places influenced by our media) with the repeal of Roe v. Wade and the trans panic. Because the American far-right has been using RvW as a rallying cry for decades-like, literally, the fact that abortion is even controversial in the first place can be traced back to conservative political groups needing to find a thing to unify them and draw their voters together, because the only thing their ideologies had in common was 'progress bad' and they weren't gonna last on that. Anti-trans rhetoric has been in the media for a while now, but it's ramped the fuck up in the past year-because conservatives no longer have RvW to scream about. They had to scramble to find something, because if they give their base two seconds to think then they might start to realize that their political party isn't actually standing for anything.

Draxum is trying to create like...a reverse ethnostate, where literally anyone is welcome and equal aside from this one particular group. Which holds all the fallacies of real-life attempted ethnostates, and is also just extra stupid on top of that.

[coldninjaruins-blog]

Will is not jelaous, he is hurt. Mike is jelaous.

Sorry, I don't agree at all.

First of all I want to say that jealousy is a completely normal emotion that anyone can feel and there are different ways in which people react to jealousy.

Now, what is jealousy?

This loved one can be a friend or a family member, my point is that jealousy is not inherently romantic (I, for example get jealous easily for any loved one of mine).

The fact that Will is jealous of Mike and El's relationship is something that even those who believed that Will wasn't gay and therefore not in love with Mike would admit, they would simply excuse that he missed his friendship with Mike or was completely platonic jealousy which we now know was not completely the case, because yes, Will missed his friendship with Mike but he is also pretty in love with Mike.

"You're ruining our party"

You're destroying everything and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?"

I don't know how else to describe this other than jealousy, yeah he was upset with Mike and Lucas for how they behaved at the game but from the moment Will said "you're ruining our party" it was just about him and Mike, unlike earlier when in the fight Mike said "we're just not in the mood" and Will replied "you guys are never in the mood anymore" both speaking in the plural and including Lucas in the dispute. This is why later Mike says "it's not my fault" instead of "it's not our fault".

I talked before about how Will's reaction to the other relationships in season 3 is different than his reaction to Mike and El's relationship, why? Because he was jealous.

Although in season 3 and season 4 there is a difference in how Will handles his jealousy, probably because of the rain fight he came to the conclusion why he feels the way he does towards Mike and how it makes him different, plus the fact that Mike is probably never going to reciprocate his feelings (in Will's opinion) and fear of getting hurt. The show tells us that Will is still pretty jealous it's just that he's not as vocal as he was in season 3 and keeps it more to himself.

Will folding his painting just as Mike kisses El after she said she wants the day to be just about the two of them was jealousy. He was also hurt by Mike's behavior.

“You’ve called maybe a couple times. It’s been a year, Mike. Meanwhile, El has like a book of letters from you.”

Will made it super clear that he was jealous and felt left out.

He said he was being a miserable third wheel all day, complained that Mike barely calls him while he writes letters to El all the time. He just needed to say "I'm jealous" to make it even more obvious that he was in fact jealous.

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.

Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust. In its original meaning, jealousy is distinct from envy, though the two terms have popularly become synonymous in the English language, with jealousy now also taking on the definition originally used for envy alone. These two emotions are often confused with each other, since they tend to appear in the same situation.

"Do you remember what I said about click’s class? about me being jealous and, like, obsessed? It isn’t because I had a crush on you. It’s because… she wouldn’t stop staring at you."

"I wanted her to look at me. But… she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair."

Just like Robin being jealous because of her feelings for Tammy was envious of Steve, Will is also envious of El (don't twist my words around saying I'm saying Will hates El or something because that's not what I'm saying). Envy and jealousy are often related to the point where they are almost used as synonyms because usually when you feel jealousy you also feel envy.

"Will is not jealous, he is hurt."

But why is he hurt? Why are being hurt and being jealous mutually exclusive rather than perhaps related?

Okay let's see something.

In these two scenes, which one of them is jealous and which one is hurt?

Was El jealous and Will hurt? Or was Will jealous and El hurt? Or maybe they were both jealous and hurt?

Will is watching Mike and El flirt through the porthole-style window of the pizza kitchen. Unable to watch them anymore, he returns his eyes to the dissolving salt. (Will's pov)

Jonathan eyes Will. He knows his brother too well. Knows he's hurting. (Jonathan's pov)

We always talked about how Will never expected anything more from Mike than their friendship, that he just wanted them to go back to being best friends like before. And while this is true this scene shows us that Will's feelings not being reciprocated (in his opinion) does hurt him, that he does want something more with Mike, that seeing him with someone else in a romantic context like flirting hurts him, because he wants to be in that place with Mike. And at this point Mike and Will are already back to being best friends so it's not about going back to how they were before and spending time together.

And this my dear anon, is jealousy.

Romantic jealousy.

[navree]

Do you think they will turn Aegon into a depraved clone of Joffery? Let's be real they give him the most cartoonish scenes for a reason . But really i find it weird how anyone would read the book then be thinking yeah Aegon ii was the original joffery. I mean if I'm going to compare Aegon to any character of the main series, i will say it's theon greyjoy and Tyrion who are the most similar characters to him , maybe Robert too? Since Robert has revolted against Aerys because Aerys wanted his head and ned's as well also Robert never wanted to be a king? That similar to Aegon kinda

Also if they turned him into joffery2 this will be the most boring, predictable route for his character. But i guess Showrunners these days are not that creative to create a nuance and grey story , so the easiest way is turn it into Joffery0.2 vs Daenerys0.2

I don't have the most faith that they'll give Aegon his due, but unlike most I do actually avoid a lot of the doomcasting I tend to see about season 2 because a) we know absolutely nothing about season 2 given that I think at most it's still in early pre-production b) they're going to have more space next season. The consequence of the show having done so many time jumps is that we got a very limited amount of time with Aegon (he's got like one focal scene in episode 6 and he's very much a background character in episode 7 except when he goes along with Aemond's lie, and then two episodes, both of which he's more of a side character in until his coronation), so they really couldn't give us a lot with him beyond some incredibly bare bones characterization. That means we need to know that he's got substance abuse problems, he's a mess of a person, and he gets all wet and pathetic the second someone shows him a scrap of love. Do I think that was a good decision? No, I think it was dumb, but that's the corner they drew themselves into. But that's not gonna be the case for season 2.

We're pretty much gonna be dumb with big time jumps I think, so that means we're going to have a full ten episodes to get to know Aegon, and given that the writers have shown an openness to listen to TGC and follow his insights on the character, as well as keep in things that he's improvised to improve on him, they're probably going to have more leniency towards showing different facets of his character. And unless everyone comes down with a big case of stupid-itis (and while I have issues with these writers, they're not dumb), Blood and Cheese and its aftermath is likely going to get a whole episode to itself, which alone is going to give us a lot of pretty layered Aegon content. And I don't think they'll lean too heavily on the Joffrey stuff either, because while there's been jokes about it, when you look at the writing that doesn't seem to be where it's going.

The Joffrey comparisons are trite and annoying form a fandom perspective, but I think that the writers are likely going to avoid it just from sheer luck based on the fact that Joffrey and Aegon, even show Aegon, are very different people. Aegon, as portrayed to us, is a drunken lech who avoids responsibilities and also has so many issues surrounding love and self worth. Meanwhile, Joffrey doesn't have any of those. Joffrey doesn't avoid responsibility unless he gets bored, he doesn't have nearly any of the self worth issues that Aegon does (Aegon doesn't think anybody loves or cares for him and appears to have a deep rooted self hatred, which isn't conjecture that's basically me quoting TGC, Joffrey thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread), and most importantly, Joffrey is heavily coded as being genuinely psychologically disturbed. And I'm not talking in a "lol Aegon's got some issues in his head guys" kind of a way, Joffrey is clearly written to have some sort of personality disorder. It's more explicit in the book where he does shit like torture animals and is more sexual in his brutalization of Sansa, which in our modern world are clear red flags for kids who've got some kind of antisocial personality disorder (idk how valid people consider the homicidal triad in today's psychiatry but torturing/killing animals is one third of it), but even in the show universe Joffrey's clearly meant to be fucked in the head. Aegon doesn't have that, so anything beyond a cursory "eh I mean they're both kings that some people don't like" literally cannot be done without making the entire show whack. Joffrey has genuine severe mental problems (likely meant to be a result of incest) that would get him under psychiatric observation if he lived in our world, Aegon needs a stint in rehab and a therapist and also isn't being written to exhibit any sociopathic tendencies. Sorry to Burlington Bar.

(And also Alicent and Cersei raised their children very differently, especially book Cersei who is completely blind to the kind of person Joffrey was, but let's be real we're not expecting anybody who's pro-Blacks to understand nuance when it comes to Alicent, and also the Alicent/Cersei parallels are so surface level it's bordering on annoying)

The issue with Aegon I'm anticipating the most isn't necessarily bad development, it's under development. My most pessimistic view is that they're going to keep treating Aegon as more of a side character than he should be, while keeping main focus on Rhaenyra and Alicent and Daemon and Aemond, while characters who should be mains, like Corlys and Rhaenys and Aegon, are going to be getting less screentime and development than they need, especially for such major players. Do I think that's what's going to happen 100%? No, I don't know what's going to happen 100%, and I'm choosing to give the writers the benefit of the doubt due to what I've seen so far and the fact that there's a lot more I like about season 1 than I dislike. So they might go more along the route of someone like Tyrion or Theon or Robert (even tho Theon definitely wasn't a good guy in season 2 and also Robert was an ass who deserved to get gored by that boar), especially given that Ryan(?) said he was anticipating people switching sides and viewing things differently in season 2 and also the writers' clear vendetta against Daemon and poor Matt Smith.

Also they can't really do Rhaenyra as Daenerys because Rhaenyra and Daenerys are two verrrrrrrry different characters in many different ways, and I do say that as a positive towards Dany and a slight on Rhaenyra (I'd go into that more but this ain't about them this is about my sweet Eggo)

[mtreebeardiles]

Can you tell me about The Project, pt 2 👀

Ah! So THAT one is the title of an upcoming chapter for my ME:A long fic, The Paths You Take. It's given me a lot of false starts, so I changed gears recently and decided to try it from a different character's POV haha.

Below the cut as always, not sure who's read what and who's played what haha. Thanks for the ask!

It was funny, Sara thought as she eased into her seat, how you could traverse the wide expanse of time and space, find yourself somewhere completely new, only to wind up in situations that hit a little too close to home. Meetings like this one, for instance, her brother at her side and Cora on his other, three members of the original human Pathfinder Team arrayed across from Initiative Directors, and it was hard not to think of times before, similar meetings in similar rooms, her brother tense and fidgeting with restless energy, Cora calm, cool, and serene, and Sara deceptively relaxed in the face of censure. 

It just wasn't their dad on the other side of the table, this time. 

Sara settled in her chair, crossing one leg over the other, arms braced on the rests, and kept her expression carefully blank as she examined the group of people she'd only met briefly since waking up from her coma. Director Tann, of course, eyes inscrutable but tension undeniable; Addison Foster, sour-faced and irritated; Nakmor Kesh, the Krogan sitting proudly straight and offering a toothy grin to the humans across from her. A friendly gesture, Sara surmised, especially when she noted Scott's shoulders relaxing a touch beside her in response. 

The Turian, Kandros, also seemed less than hostile, having been the last to arrive and giving Scott a polite nod of acknowledgement before settling into his seat beside Addison. 

There was a long, heavy moment drawn taut between the two groups before Tann finally leaned forward, clasping his hands atop the table in front of him. 

"Now that we are all accounted for," he began, and those dark eyes were fixed on Scott's, "I would like to formally begin this meeting. My assistant," he nodded to another Salarian not seated at the table with them, but rather situated at a small desk in the corner, "will record and take notes for posterity. It seems we have been too…lax, in our communications, our…expectations, for how things work in the Initiative." 

You disobeyed direct orders, and now I am taking steps to ensure you can't weasel your way out of the consequences should you try it again, Sara translated. The data leak of Scott's findings for Meridian had been a masterful stroke, if it had been done deliberately, and Sara had a feeling that was the case. Information, something concrete, would've been preferable, but she liked to think her instincts hadn't dulled too much during her excessively long nap.

When your twin was an impulsive force of nature, you learned a thing or two about diplomacy.

"We're paving a new way forward," Tann went on, reaching out for a datapad that sat within easy reach. "Adapting, learning, growing. Things were never going to be perfect -- no one who sighed up for this opportunity expected things to go exactly as planned. Be that as it may, Initiative leadership nonetheless developed…protocols. Contingencies. Plans and backup plans, and backup plans for our backup plans. Clear directives aimed to minimize friction, to encourage…collective effort."

The gravity field shifted beside her, the disturbance as familiar as her own, and she moved her hands into her lap in a quiet, easy gesture, sending an eddy right back. Keep calm, Scotty. She wasn't sure what it was about Tann's words that seemed to unsettle him, beyond the usual lack of patience her brother had for pointless pretty talk, and felt a sliver of her own frustration try to worm its way through. 

Months of missing out, and now I'm stuck learning the politics of this place on the fly. 

But she'd learn. She always did. 

[tryingmybestpls]

Not A Team: Part 2- New World Order

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The Reader gives a speech at the opening of Steve’s exhibit and has a talk with Sam following his speech.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER, talks of death, talks of mental illness, feelings of isolation

Read Part One here

Listen to the playlist inspired by the series here

Y/N felt like coming here today was a mistake.

Her stomach tossed and turned like a stormy sea, threatening to send her breakfast all over Rhodey's shiny shoes. She was second guessing everything. Was her dress nice enough? Rhodey had told her she looked great, but she hadn't worn a dress since Steve's funeral-Oh God, what if he was lying to her? No, he wouldn't lie to her-but what if he felt bad? Jesus, dd her shoes look stupid? Maybe she shouldn't have worn heels-but then she always wore heels with dresses and if she wore flats that would look childish. Did her speech sound coherent? Fuck, what if she messes up. Would they think she was doing it on purpose out of retribution for what Steve did? No, they didn't know what Steve did, what he had done to her. What if-

"Hey, hey. What's wrong? You look like you're going to blow chunks." Rhodey cuts through her thoughts like a hot knife through butter. He puts his hand on her back, "Breathe, Y/N."

"Maybe this a bad idea, Rhodey. I mean they have Sam. I think Sam can handle this." She stumbles over her words, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was racing a hundred miles a minute and she swore her hands were shaking,

"You're going to be okay, but you need to relax. I've read and reread your speech a dozen times. It's perfect." Rhodey tries to soothe her, his hand rubbing her back. Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, working on slowing her breathing. In through her nose and out through her mouth.

"Hey pretty lady, I was wondering where the exhibit is. I'm supposed to be giving a speech there today." A voice calls out, sending Y/N's eyes flying open. She turns on her heels, being greeted by the sight of Sam walking towards them, holding the leather case that carries the shield. Y/N can feel the tension melting out of her shoulders as a smile spreads across her nervous face.

"Rhodey, I think they might be letting anyone speak here today." Y/N teases, the anxiousness slipping away, releasing its hold on her. Rhodey chuckles, shaking his head at his friend's antics. She hadn't seen Sam since the days following Steve's funeral and right now, he's a welcome sight. Sam rests his hand over his heart, feigning hurt as he gets closer.

"You wound me, woman." Sam jokes, smiling right back at her. They embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck as his go around her waist, "I missed you, kid."

"I've missed you too, Sammy." She murmurs back, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. They pull away and Sam smiles at her, the skin around his eyes wrinkling. Rhodey clears his throat, gently touching Y/N's upper arm.

"Hey I need to go talk to some people, alright?" Rhodey announces, almost as if he is asking permission. Y/N just smiles and nods, the smile staying on her face until he walks away from the two.

"How are you feeling, Y/N?" Sam questions, to which Y/N sighs, looking down at her shoes.  She stays quiet for a moment, feeling his eyes on her.

"You want the truth or you want me to tell you what I tell Rhodey?" She replies, looking back at him. Y/N shifts from one foot to another, glad they were far from the crowd that was gathering. He gives her a look, giving her an answer without opening his mouth. She sighs again, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

"I don't sleep, not really. I get maybe an hour a night if I am lucky. I-The house is filled with boxes that I can't unpack because-" Her voice cracks, her chest rising and falling quickly. She bites the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to not cry, "I thought that leaving the apartment would make him go away, but it didn't."

"Well Steve was always stubborn." Sam responds, making a laugh bubble out of her throat before she could stop it. There was an "I'm sorry" buried in the joke and Y/N knew it, but decided to only focus on the joke.

-

The stage looked daunting.

She forced herself up those steps, the person who had introduced her still had his hand outstretched towards her. Y/N wondered if she could make a run for it. Sure people will be mad at her, but she won't be forcing herself through this. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, the clapping nothing but a ringing in her ears. For a moment, her eyes landed on the giant banner of her husband, a lump forming in her throat. He was watching over her, his face emotionless as his eyes seemingly followed her every step. Cameras flashed as she stood on the stage, striding over to the podium. Once she stood in front of it, a hush fell over the crowd.

Y/N Rogers had saved thousands of lives. She was an Avenger and had faced countless foes. Hell, her wedding had more people in attendance than this event, but she still felt sick to her stomach. Y/N gave them all a smile as she forced herself to calm down, swallowing hard before speaking.

"To say that Steve Rogers was a special man is putting lightly. He was a hero that many of us, myself included, aspired to be one day. And while many of you only knew him as Captain America, I was among the lucky few that got to know him just as Steve Rogers. Now I could stand up here and tell you about every battle he won, how valiantly he fought-but everyone else is going to do that. Hell, you can read about it in the exhibit." Y/N chuckles, blinking away the tears in her eyes as the crowd laughs.

Y/N finds Rhodey and Sam in the crowd, both of them giving her smiles of encouragement. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the diamond on her wedding ring sparkling in the light. It's the first time she's worn it in a while, but it felt almost right to wear it. Once again, she's pretending like Steve didn't leave her. No, Y/N is ignoring that completely, almost blissfully. These people only know Steve as Captain America, as a god-damned American hero. She isn't going to tarnish that, won't ruin his legacy. And regardless of what Steve did to her, she is still in love with him and she wants to talk about the man she fell in love with, not the one that hurt her. Y/N inhales and exhales shakily before continuing.

"Steve was so much more than just Captain America. He was my best friend and my husband. He was the type of man to pick up flowers for you just because. The type of man to tell you that you looked really pretty even though you were covered in dirt and ash. He would let me go on and on about things that didn't even matter, but with the way he paid attention you would think that I was telling him the secrets of the world. Steve loved staying in and having movie marathons-he-he had a list he'd carry with him to write down things he needed to learn about. Before we dated, he would text me randomly, asking me why Jar Jar Binks is hated so much or asking me to explain what emojis are. He never quite got the hang gof the latter." A laugh comes out of Y/N's mouth, the crowd following suit. There was a smile on her face, a warmth spreading in her chest.

"He's the man I'll be in love with until the day I die, but then I'll fall in love all over again because I'll be able to see him again. Steve was the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met and while I will always wish we had more time together, I was lucky to have him as long as I did. We were all lucky to have him." Y/N pauses again, her throat constricting with emotion, "Even though he's gone, Steve lived a long life-a life longer than some of us get and I am happy that so many different facets of his life is going to be explored and shared with so many people. I hope you all enjoy the exhibit. Thank you."

The applause that followed was almost thunderous. Y/N smiled as her heart slammed against her ribcage, cameras flashing as she made her way off the stage. She was glad it was finally over as she moved to stand next to Rhodey and Sam. Sam kissed her cheek before he climbed up the stairs to the stage. Rhodey rubbed her back, telling her quietly that she did great. She just nodded in response, her eyes on her friend, watching as Sam leaned the shield against the plexiglass podium.

"Thank you Y/N for making my job a lot harder." Sam teases, causing everyone to chuckle. Y/N smiles right back at him, shaking her head as her friend carries on, "Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered poising stoically. "

Sam's a natural at this, standing up there like its nothing. And while Y/N should be focused on the speech, her eyes keep drifting down to the shield at his feet.

"The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing," Sam chuckles, picking up the shield, "I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy, but also, we look to the future. So thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you."

Y/N feels sick to her stomach as she watches Sam hand the shield off. Her chest feels tight and she-she can't be here. There's a ringing on her ears and she can't breathe. Y/N pushes through the crowd, not bothering with pleasantries as she does it. A dozen emotions rack her body, causing her hands to start to heat up. She forces it down, deep down as she walks into an empty bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Sam gave away the shield.

He gave it away.

Like it was nothing.

And she wants to scream, wants to cry, but it won't come out. Y/N won't let it, not now when she is still in public. She walks over to the sinks, her hands gripping the counter. Her eyes are rimmed with red, eyes all watery. Her red painted lips press into a thin line as she forces herself to not cry, practically glaring at her reflection. What did her therapist tell her to do? Ah yes, breath in and out. In and out.

This was all too much way too soon. She couldn't handle this. She was being bombarded with memories and emotions already and now Sam giving the shield away? She felt like she was going to lose it. A part of her felt like she was overreacting. overthinking this whole situation. And maybe she was. Y/N did that from time to time. Tony had told her she was an expert of making mountains out of molehills. Maybe Sam just didn't want to be Captain America, didn't want to shoulder that burden. That was understandable. It was a shitty, shitty job-one that Sam didn't ask for. He shouldn't be forced to take on the mantle of Captain America, not when the previous owner had tossed it away so carelessly.

Yet, the bigger part of her was incredibly upset. Angry at the fact that Sam handed off the shield to be shelved in a museum. Overwhelmed by the amount of Steve that was everywhere. Confused over the multitudes of feeling that were swarming her body.

And there was nothing she could do about any of them. She just had to grin and bear it, just like she's been doing since Steve decided he much rather spend an entire lifetime with a woman he knew for a few months. So Y/N collected herself, blinked away her tears, and left the bathroom. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her towards the one place she didn't want to be.

The exhibit.

Steve's image is plastered on every single surface, telling the details of every part of his life. Scrawny Steve, bootcamp Steve, darling icon of patriotism during the war Steve, frozen Steve, Battle of Manhattan Steve, cartoon Steve punching Hitler, Steve during Sokovia, Steve on the run. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. He covers every single square inch, which makes sense because this is his exhibit. And while Y/N knows she should just turn on her heel and not put herself through it, she throws caution to the wall. She's already incredibly upset, so she might as well pour gallons and gallons of salt and lemon juice into that open wound.  So she forces herself deeper into the exhibit, running straight into the very last man she wants to see at this moment.

"You know I wasn't expecting to find you here." Sam tells her as soon as her foot enters the next room. She keeps her mouth shut, so he adds "Rhodey is looking for you."

"You know on his right sleeve of his suits, right near his wrist, he had my initials stitched. He told me he wanted to carry a piece of me into every mission, into every fight." Y/N announces as she looks at a picture of Steve on a mission, most likely taken by Natasha. Sam sighs, walking over to her, wanting her to see his point of view.

"Look I know you're upset-" He starts, but is immediately cut off by a dry chuckle slipping out of Y/N's mouth as she walks around the room. She wants to lay in to him, wants to give him a piece of her mind.

"Oh I am far past the point of being "just upset", Wilson. It wasn't yours to give away. I-I don't care if you didn't want the mantle, but..." Her angry words trail off once she realizes what part of the exhibit she has reached, her face dropping.

Y/N stops in front of a part of the exhibit labeled 'Two Heroes United'. Her eyes roam over the pictures of her and Steve's wedding and the pictures taken throughout the duration of their relationship, so much more than what the file Rhodey had left detailed. So many smiles, so much happiness filling each and every picture. Her facade is cracking, chipping away as she forces herself to study every picture, studying their faces over and over, trying to see if there was something she had missed, if-if there was something she could have said or done to hold onto him a little longer. If there was something hidden behind his smile, behind his touches, they don't reveal themselves in the photographs.

She's just a footnote in his life, a blurb at the end of a long story. A tool to make him look like an all-American family man. Bucky and Sam had much larger parts of the exhibit dedicated to their roles in Steve's life and who they are outside of being Steve's friends. Y/N-well Y/N gets this, a paragraph saying that she was on the team and then married Steve. She is just haphazardly tacked onto the story of his life, a cute story to make people feel all warm inside. He got his happily ever after, they'll say-or they'll whisper to one another God she was so lucky to have him. They won't ask if she got her happily ever after or if she feels lucky now.

Sam got to hand off the shield, got to throw away the title of Captain America. He gets to keep on living his life after this, but Y/N-Y/N will always be Steve's wife. And it doesn't matter how many people she saved or what she did with her time on earth, she will only be know for being the wife of the man who abandoned her. Y/N's tied to him for eternity, stuck loving a man who decided to love someone else.

And then, just like that, something inside of her just snaps. Her facade fully crumbles, leaving her unable to mask what she's going through.  Y/N's eyes fill up with tears and she's unable to blink them away before they spill over the edge, sending tears rolling down her cheeks. And as she stood there, crying in the middle of the exhibit dedicated to Steven Grant Rogers, a depressing epiphany popped into her mind.

The shield was the last part of Steve that she had that wasn't tainted in some way, a piece of him that she could still bear to see. And Sam had just given it away, leaving her with nothing but memories that would haunt her.

-

"I watched your speech. You did really good, Y/N." Her therapist praises, giving her a soft smile. Y/N nods, twisting her wedding ring on her finger. She had decided to start wearing it again, even though her feelings about Steve were still conflicted. While a part of her thought that this meant she was healing, Y/N knew it was more likely tied to the fact that Sam had given up the shield.

"It-It felt good." Y/N replies, shifting in her seat. She had thought it was a subtle movement, but Dr. Raynor gave her a look. After a few months of court-ordered appointments, the therapist knew Y/N all too well and she sure as hell knew when Y/N wasn't telling the truth.

"Something is upsetting you. What happened?" The doctor questions, clicking her pen. Y/N dreaded the noise. It meant a longer session, more bandaids being ripped off in order to force the wounds into the light. It would mean she would return to her home a little colder, a little emptier.

"Nothing happened. It-I had a good day. A good week." Y/N tries to reassure her, even going as far as to give her what she thought was a honest smile. Dr. Raynor held up her pad of paper, making a show of slowly bring the pen down to the paper. Y/N's smile falls and she looks down at her hands, letting out a small sigh.

"He-Sam gave away the shield. He gave it away like it was nothing." The ex-hero announces, feeling like a scolded child. Raynor lowers her pen and paper, settling back into her seat.

"And you feel like he shouldn't have?"

"No. No, Steve-Steve chose him. Steve gave him the shield because he knew that Sam was good, that Sam could handle it. And-And Sam just gave it away." Y/N stammers, picking at a thread that was hanging off her shirt.

"You know, I think that is the first time you have said his name aloud." Raynor mentions, causing Y/N to stop her movements. The thread is caught between her fingers, pulled taut. The doctor continues, "You always refer to Steve as 'he' or 'him' or 'my husband'. You never say his name."

"I don't think I was ready to be around...Steve. Not that much." Y/N tries to shift the focus, shame filling her, her face feeling hot. She knows she has her reasons not to say his name, but she still felt terrible about not being able to say his name.

"But you still spoke at the opening of his exhibit. I'm sure everyone would more than understand why you couldn't. So why did you decide on speaking?" The therapist asks, taking down a couple notes of her pad of paper. Y/N stays silent for a moment, letting go of the thread to start twisting her ring again.

"I-I don't know. Rhodey asked me and I-I guess I thought I could do it. And the speech wasn't bad I just-I wasn't expecting Sam to give away the shield." Y/N responds, her voice soft. She feels so small, sitting here on this charcoal grey couch. Y/N almost felt...stupid for being so angry at Sam. It wasn't his fault at all and as Y/N said everything out loud, she felt like such an asshole.

"If you would've known that Sam wanted to give the shield away, would you have stopped him?" Dr. Raynor replies, leaning forward slightly as she takes a few notes. Y/N feels herself sinking into the couch.

"I don't know. I-I wish he would have just told me so that we could've talked about it." She answers, looking out of the window. Dark grey clouds filled the sky, blocking out a lot of the sunlight that wanted to shine down on the city. Y/N didn't know if she would have actually forced him to keep the shield. That wasn't on him to have hold on to hat chunk of vibranium. It was wrong for Steve to have thrown that all on Sam. What would be the alternative? For her to keep the shield? Y/N highly doubted that the United States government would allow that.

-

Y/N was watering her garden when her phone started to ring in her back pocket. She quickly moves to shut off the water hose before she slips the phone about her pocket. Sam's name and picture appears on her screen, making uneasiness fill her stomach. Y/N exhales through her noise loudly before answering it, holding the phone against her ears.

"Have you seen the news?" Sam asks, not even letting her get a single syllable out.

"No, I've been outside-What's going on, Sam?" Y/N questions, making her way to the house. Something was definitely wrong. Sam never called her unless it was for emergencies. if they did communicate, it was mainly through texting. Her heartbeat started to race, as did her thoughts. A million different scenarios filled her head, each one worse than the last.

"You need to turn on the news right now." Sam replies as she opens the back door, quickly crossing the kitchen and walking into the living room. Her hands are almost shaking as she picks up the remote, turning the television on. Luckily for her, the last thing she had been watching was the news. Unluckily for her, she was greeted with a man holding the shield-Steve's shield, dressed in what looked like an off-brand, shitty version of the Captain America suit.

Anger filled her body. It had been four days tops since Sam handled off the shield and already, they had found their 'new Captain America'. The man in question was smiling smugly in the ill-fitting suit, waving at the camera, holding onto his shield tightly. God, Y/N wanted to beat the shit of the man and every single person who had okayed this. She could only hear bits and pieces of the speech as the news replayed it, but even that bullshit was too much for her to handle. She muted the television, tossing the remote on the couch.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/N exclaims, her hands getting warm. The Avenger was unable to get to anything articulate as rage filled her. She quickly put the phone on speaker, setting the device down just in case her hands caught flame.

"I know. I know. It's fucking bullshit." Sam replies, sighing. Y/N paced in front of the television, trying to calm herself down before she burned a hole through her rug. On the screen, the fake Cap was talking about something, a saccharine smile spread across his face. Y/N wanted to take that God damn shield and smash his teeth in.

"That asshole has my husband's fucking shield. They-He isn't supposed to be Captain America, okay? It's just not-It's not theirs to give away." Y/N's voice cracks towards the end, tears filling her eyes. While she wasn't Steve's number one fan, she hated that they had already chose someone to take up his title. If Sam wasn't going to be Captain America, then no one should be Captain America.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I wouldn't have given away the shield if I would've known...I'm sorry." Sam murmurs over the phone. Y/N covers her face with her almost glowing hands as she tries to control her breathing, not able to respond to Sam’s apologies. Her sadness and anger quickly shifted into something else. 

Something inside of her switched on, something that she hadn't felt in a long time, not since she was a hero, back when she was an Avenger.

Y/N wanted to go to work.

------

Not A Team taglist (if you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know!)

@lady-elena-adeline​ @simonedk​ @hersilencedscreams​ @rqmanoff​

[mittensmorgul]

So for the most part, I outright reject the finale. But I do think, in light of the whole "Jimmy was supposed to be in the bar, and Dean was disappointed by that because his perfect heaven would have Cas in it" just makes me all the more convinced that the final episode was some kind of djinn dream. Like.... There's no other explanation in my opinion. If Dean's perfect heaven was supposed to have Cas, and he tragically gets faked out by Jimmy (????? Why tf would jimmy be there anyway), it just proves that it's not ACTUALLY heaven. That, along with he El Sol beer he's drinking is all the evidence I need. I think after 15x19, Dean and Sam got whammied by some monster, and are stuck in a hallucination, and that's what we're seeing. (My headcanon is that it's actually The Empty doing it, because it knows if it doesn't keep Dean and Sam occupied and spinning in circles, they'll invade the Empty to save Cas. So its trying to prevent that) :)

Hello, anon friendo! I am gonna start by offering the socially distanced version of a high five, because yeah... There is just so much to unpack here, and you provided such a succinct and all-encompassing series of statements to start from. Thank you!

*flings open array of questionable suitcases*

First off, Congrats on having rejected the finale. I know a lot of folks are still struggling with that one, for many reasons. But you have hit upon so many of the points I’ve been trying to make about the finale since it aired. I’d just like to start with some of the assumptions I’ve heard from folks about the finale that make it impossible for me to consider it fully honestly canon. Because so much about it just makes no goshdang sense... like... not at all...

One of the biggest issues I have surrounding the reception of the finale in parts of fandom is that it portrayed a “happy ending.” The show itself spent the entire final season telling us that a gravestone marked Winchester was not and never would be a happy ending (thank you Becky Rosen-- words I never thought I’d say, but honestly and most sincerely meant). Let’s break this down a bit.

Starting from the assumption that “heaven was fixed” so that characters could have true free will there, making it satisfying in any way that Dean died so young and never got to truly experience happiness during life, I would like anyone who has adopted this attitude to then explain Kansas the band. I mean... explain that in any satisfactory canon-compliant way. (hint: you can’t. it makes zero sense in canon, if heaven is truly reformed and “happy” with everyone in possession of free will.)

Which brings me to Misha’s comments about Jimmy being in the Roadhouse. Why, if heaven were truly fixed, would Jimmy ever in a bazillion years attend a party for Dean Winchester? If Heaven were truly a “happy” ending for Dean, why introduce this element of eternal tragedy and heartbreak to his heaven experience? Why taunt him with the eternal loss of Cas-- even if you don’t think he reciprocated Cas’s romantic feelings, he was canonically the best friend Dean ever had, and being forced to exist forever in a place where he had everyone else he ever cared for except for Cas? Is frankly horrific.

How the actual fuck is that a happy ending, in any sense of the word?

How is this the sort of heaven that Dean would’ve made for himself before it was “fixed?” At least in the memorex heaven, he could’ve lived in oblivious peace with Cas, even if it was always just his own memories and not ~actually Cas~. I honestly think that would’ve been happier than the abject tragedy of what we did get, and what we would’ve gotten had the original script played out.

All of this kind of makes me wonder if they ever even actually defeated Chuck. Like... it feels more like Dean got pulled into the Empty at that moment with Cas and Billie, and everything else after that point was the Empty’s endless experience of sorrow and despair we knew it subject its charges to. So that’s one potential for what could’ve actually happened. I mean, everything about the finale was sorrow and despair, you know? Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his pie at a pie festival because Sam smashed in in his face. How is any of it happy, in any way?

Because if that was actually heaven, there wasn’t actually any free will (because why tf would Kansas the band have chosen to put on that concert? why tf would Jimmy have been there, just to torment Dean with the taunt of Cas returning to him only to have that hope snatched away again? It’s cruel. It’s, in fact, a source of intense despair).

The djinn theory could also work, and I’ve read some excellent fix-it fic using that as a premise. But that doesn’t really explain what happened to Jack (and Amara, since she was in there with them) after hoovering up Chuck’s power, you know? I think the simplest explanations in canon are that Chuck actually won via the unified power of Light and Dark being transferred into Jack and effectively using him as a vessel. With Sam and Dean convinced they’d won, they effectively stopped resisting Chuck’s story for them, and using Jack’s understanding of humanity and the Winchesters specifically, Chuck finally was able to implement a version of his story that the Winchesters would just waltz into without thinking it was supernaturally influenced at all. Going bigger and bigger with monsters and cosmic troubles hadn’t worked, but going so small Sam and Dean would barely even notice the influence-- even with the incongruous reappearance of a vampire that appeared in their lives once, for like two whole minutes 15 years ago, and an unsolved case from the journal from more than 30 years ago that John had never even linked to vampires at all.

At this point, I need to mention that I’m watching 10.23 as I type this up. An episode in which we confront the Mark, along with Death, and Dean’s despair, where he learns a version of the truth (but by no means the full truth, or even accurate truth in some respects) about Chuck’s Story, Amara/The Darkness, etc. That would unfold more fully over the next five seasons. And what was the case Dean took in this episode? Vampires. LOLOL omg this show is nothing if not horrifically consistent, yes?

So because of this, I went haring off through my own blog looking for a post I made a long time ago about the symbolism of how various monsters are used on this show (because again, consistency). I got sidetracked by other posts in my monsters tag, including this from after 15.09 aired, which feels particularly awfully relevant. This was my reaction to Chuck’s Story he showed Sam in that episode, about what the future would look like should he successfully trap Chuck with a Mark, and which... yeah is basically exactly thematically consistent with what we saw in the finale, right down to a cheesy twist on vampires. Read the whole post right here, but this is the part that reached up and punched me in the face:

this is how Dean personally reacts when he loses Cas. We know how he reacts when he loses anyone else– think about what he did when Charlie died. He went on a murder rampage against the Stynes for killing her. When Mary died he broke some furniture and went full bore toward both resurrecting her and stopping Jack. But without Cas, Dean loses the will to fight. Sam has… always been different. He referenced Jess in 15.04 to remind us of how he was after she died in the pilot episode. Just like John, he picked up the revenge mission and ran with it. But for Dean, Cas is different. Without Cas… Dean gives up.

Because... Dean gave up. Sure, he and Sam weren’t overrun by vampires in the end. Chuck knew they’d never stop fighting the monsters, one way or another. The only way to get Dean to give up is something Chuck hadn’t quite figured out yet... maybe not until after 15.17, after confronting Cas in the hallway of the bunker, after absorbing Amara’s power, knowledge, and perspective on Dean.

Chuck needed Dean to give up, and honestly? Pushing Billie to clear him off the table and send him (and Cas, that pesky angel who never did what he was told) to the Empty would’ve been a direct way to deal with that... pretty much akin to having one sibling locked in a cage forever, yes?

Also, still looking through my monsters tag, I’m reminded of 14.15, and still cannot differentiate the version of Heaven in 15.20 from what was done to the people of that town. This... is not... paradise. This is actively what Dean has been insisting is the OPPOSITE of paradise since like… 4.22… No ending where Dean was a “Stepford bitch in paradise” ever had the possibility of being “happy,” at the core of things, and this “fixed” version of Heaven just doesn’t hold up to any degree of inspection. Something is seriously wrong here. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183465650390/so-can-we-talk-about-this-monster-of-the-week-for

And since I was unable to find the post I wrote who knows how long ago about Monsters and how they’re symbolically used on Supernatural to represent larger themes in the episode, I’ll just attempt to sum up what Vampires have been used for. Revenge. Vampires are always, in some way connected to themes of revenge.

(and hooray, I found at least a post adjacent to the one I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find... https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187207052080/i-obviously-did-not-think-this-through, where I mention that shapeshifters are about revealing hidden truths (mostly about Dean since most shapeshifters are connected to Dean), zombies are about grief and the inability to move past it.)

So why... why at the end of their road is the monster that comes after them-- literally FOR REVENGE for something that had never been blamed on Sam or Dean to begin with, from season 1, directly connected to John’s revenge mission and the first time they learned about the Colt AND the first time they learned in canon that Vampires were even real... like... this feels very specifically like some kind of layers-of-meta levels of shade on them, you know? Vampires are for revenge, so what vengeance exactly is being visited upon Sam and Dean in this episode? If not Chuck’s entire story for them itself?

So yeah, 100% agree, something is incredibly rotten in the finale. And I am sick to effing death of people trying to convince us that anything about this was “good” or “happy” or “satisfying” in any way. Or even “how it was always supposed to end” with Dean dead bloody, as if the entire back half of the series hadn’t been suggesting that a true win was the subversion of all of Chuck’s story for them, and Dean finally being able to have his chosen family all alive, happy, and chilling on a beach somewhere watching the sunset. Nothing will ever convince me that the ending portrayed in 15.20 wasn’t exactly how Chuck thought he “won,” rendering it entirely irrelevant to the rest of canon, unless all of canon was ultimately the tragedy we’d been encouraged to believe would be firmly defeated in the end.

Folks, you can’t have it both ways. 

[olderthannetfic]

Oh if we're talking about the DSMP thing, I've got a buddy who's ranted to me about it so I've got a bit more context.

There are two major distinctions ao3 seems to be missing. One, how the fictional characters the you tubers are roleplaying as in Minecraft are different from RPF (it'd be kind of like saying Critical Role chars are the same as their players. There's the real people pulling the strings since it's a tabletop game, but also its own internal fictional universe that has its own fandom). This seems to be confusing ao3 because the streams themselves are pretty much fictional content while the streamers themselves are actors, either doing planned performances or winging it it, but no distinction is being made so that, plus how there's a lot of confusion over real name vs online alias vs character, is really mucking things up for people not into RPF. I might be totally into the fictional character one of these streamers play in the fictional Minecraft universe they've set up but not care at all for the RL person outside of it.

The second is that SMP stuff and video blogging just gets lumped together with no individual fandoms. DSMP is only one, there's tons like Hermitcraft and so on. It'd be like if boybands were all lumped under Bands rather than music being the medium while bands each get their own individual fandom tag. In this case they're treating Minecraft SMPs like their own fandom when it'd be more accurate to call it a genre or even a medium of its own. This also has totally screwed over the Minecraft game fandom tag for those who are not into youtubers because there's no way to actually... filter out the youtuber stuff. It used to be fine when it included only a few youtubers with comparatively smaller fandoms, but with how SMP stuff has blown up you cannot feasibly filter everything out since there's no unified tag. I've tried and even after filtering for a good 50 tags I found better luck just looking at older fics from before the SMP stuff blew up.

So even just an official tag for different SMPs would certainly help, as would more clear ways to divide the characters from the streamers performing them. Because at this time, you cannot filter any of that out. And in such a large fandom it's both a mess on its own and overwhelmed smaller fandoms such as normal Minecraft fic or smaller SMPs that get lumped in with it. It's made ao3 pretty unusable.

--

Yeah, there are a ton of posts on my tumblr from a few weeks ago with similar explanations of the whole mess.

I reiterate that this is the kind of thing that happens when everyone clusters on one big archive instead of making topic-specific ones. There are advantages in terms of a big archive staying up more reliably (at least in AO3's case) and having more readers but minuses in terms of things not being properly tailored to each fandom.

[tyunniverse]

FRIENDS FOR A DAY (2)

pair: yeonjun x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2654

parts: 1 | 2

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

It had been a long time since Yeonjun felt like this. Sometimes life in general had become too much to bear and the things that used to make him happy weren't working for him anymore. Times spent alone slowly became more frequent for him than times he'd spent with his friends.

He'd skipped the first day, not wanting to go back to that routine life just yet. And towards the start of the day, he would never have imagined meeting you and getting to spend the day doing things that strayed far from any of the schedules he'd previously planned. A breath of fresh air was what he liked to call it, and he had you to thank for that.

Unlike him, everything was new to you; a new city, a new school, new people, and a whole new life ahead. Yeonjun felt a little envious after realizing it when you'd talked more about yourselves during lunch, but after seeing how you seemed to enjoy every single second of your little sight seeing endeavor, he thought that maybe he could also be a part of something new in your life.

Best friends.

You had agreed to be his best friend from today onwards; the pendant around your neck serving as proof. Yeonjun finds his hand wandering over to his pocket, holding on to his old necklace.

Half of a star. He'd bought it a few years back. The necklace had a similar purpose with the one he was wearing now— meant to be worn separately by two different people. In his case, he had bought it as a whole and had decided to keep one half of it still in its case, stashed inside his closet. His reasons for purchasing it never really felt clear even to him but he also wouldn't call it an impulsive decision. Yeonjun liked to think that he'd be able to find a use for it in the future.

"Yeonjun." You call for his attention, pointing at the posters plastered on a random shop's wall. "It says that the annual carnival will be opening tonight. Wanna go?"

Yeonjun grins. Opportunities somehow kept showing up right in front of his doorstep. "Yeah, only if you want to though. Afterall, I'm only the tour guide for today."

"Shut up." You hold back a smile. "Have you been there before?"

Yeonjun repeats the question in his mind. As someone one would consider pretty popular, you'd expect him to be no stranger in hanging out at fun places like an annual carnival, but that's just it. Yeonjun had never visited that Carnival once ever since it opened. His friends had asked him to tag along but something about it just never seemed to make him want to.

"No." Yeonjun answers, scratching the back of his head. "If we end up going then this would be my first time too." The first time he'd actually wanted to go.

"I guess we're going then." You grin and Yeonjun finds himself smiling back. "It says here that the Carnival's just around the corner so it'd probably be okay if we just walked there."

"Yeah."

The two of you make your way to the Carnival. You still had a good amount of time left before it opened so a few quick stops at some stalls along the way didn't do any harm.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

In all honesty, Yeonjun didn't even know when and how he'd ended up holding your hand, laughing his heart off by the time you arrived at the entrance but it all just happened somehow. Was it the when your ice cream cone almost landed straight on his shoe earlier? Or when his hand nearly hit you square in the face when he noticed a bug flying towards you? It could've even been when a group of old ladies started hitting on him at the handbag boutique and all you did was stand there shaking, wanting to laugh your ass off.

No matter what the reason was, he liked this. Somehow, it just felt right.

The two of you pay for the tickets before heading inside. The place was larger than any of you had ever expected, cleaner too. People of all ages were enjoying their carnival experience to the fullest. Children were running around with their guardians following closely behind, couples and groups of friends chatting along and taking pictures— Yeonjun could swear he saw two old men arguing over who gets to take a picture with the mascot first.

"So, which ride do you wanna go on first?" You ask, turning to him.

"Well, how about that one." Yeonjun points at the viking and you feel yourself getting more and more excited.

"NICE—" Before Yeonjun knew it, you were dragging him around to every single ride at the carnival.

You liked to keep count of everytime Yeonjun freaked out while you went on the rides, and Yeonjun liked to do the same. Despite the thrill of being at a carnival keeping you hyped up, there were a few times when you had overestimated your tolerance with being thrown around. Yeonjun nearly puked twice: once at the twister, and a second time on the rollercoaster. Even you were almost a victim by the rollercoaster's loops.

Yeonjun had claimed he was an expert at navigating haunted house attractions, stating, "I've been watching horror movies all my life. Nothing scares me at this point, tbh." True enough, nothing scared Yeonjun except every single ominous decoration and jump scares the haunted house threw at him. You weren't too fond of horror yourself, but you ended up trying to be the brave one after Yeonjun basically clung to you half of the time. It didn't help whenever you freaked out since you ended up losing Yeonjun after he not so subtly abandons you at the slightest suspicious sound. It was a miracle you made it out in one piece.

"Yeah, so, uh, sorry about that." Yeonjun laughs it off the moment you two got out.

"Sure but you should know that I'm never gonna let you live it down." You tell him, smiling widely as you hold up the photos you received from one of the staff. "I got evidence."

Yeonjun snatches the photos from your hands. "Bold of you to assume these'll affect me— oh." It definitely did.

You watch as he slips the photos inside his jacket as if it wasn't obvious enough that he was trying to hide it from you. "Nice try but," You take out another batch of photos and wave it around. "Boom. Two copies."

"Wow, okay."

The two of you ended up laughing at each other before you suggest in trying out the stalls. They say time flies by fast when you're having fun and they couldn't be more right. There had been an unspoken competition between you and Yeonjun of who can win the most prizes and let's just say you weren't about to let yourself lose. By the time you got tired, you had a total of three plushies and a bunch of candy bars stuffed in your pockets and well, Yeonjun had the exact amount of prizes you had.

"Fine. It's a draw for now but only because I'm tired." Yeonjun holds the plushies tighter. "We should really get a bag for this. I wonder if we can get a huge plastic bag somewhere."

"Nah, we can just put em in here." You take off your back pack, opening it wide. "I'm sure it can fit all six of them. They're small enough." You were lucky that they did, finally leaving your hands free.

"Wait." Yeonjun pauses after putting the last of his plushies inside. "How can I be sure you won't just take my plushies for yourself after we leave? I'm pretty easy to distract so—"

"If you forget to get them back then I'll just hand them to you tomorrow at school. You go to HSU too, right?" You tell him.

"Yeah, but how will you contact me?"

"Obviously, we exchange numbers."

Yeonjun blinks. Of course that'd be the simplest solution but still. He'd been talking about staying as friends even after all this but the thought of exchanging numbers hadn't really crossed his mind. He takes out his phone and the two of you quickly added each other as contacts, somehow feeling a bit closer after the exchange.

"While we're at it—" Yeonjun pulls you in closer as he bends down. Only now that you've felt Yeonjun's warmth close to you have you noticed how cold it actually was outside . It takes you a few seconds to register that he wants to take a few selfies.

You bust out a smile and tried to go along with whatever weird faces and poses he did. "Send them to me later." You say after examining the photos. There's one where Yeonjun mimicked a kissing motion near your cheek, making you smile. Who would've expected you two were total strangers up until a few hours ago.

"Got room for one last ride?" Yeonjun asks as you return his phone.

"Yeah, sure. Which one?"

"Don't ask as if you don't know. I'm pretty sure you left this one out on purpose."

Perhaps unconsciously, you did. In every single movie that involved the two characters going to a carnival, for some reason, they always left the Ferris Wheel for last. It's not like you wanted something grand to happen when you ride it, but more like you just wanted to get a good view of the entire carnival before leaving. It seemed like the perfect final attraction.

Yeonjun notices how you've gone quiet and decided to hold your hand, pulling you along. "Let's go before the place closes."

"Okay." You look up at him, nodding.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

The Ferris Wheel ride wasn't all you had expected it to be. It looked pretty slow in the movies but right now? You were about to puke.

"Yeonjun, wait." You hold on to Yeonjun who was sitting opposite to you.

The Ferris Wheel was going too fast to your liking and you started feeling dizzy. Getting a good view of the carnival seemed impossible at this point and looking at your partner made you even more miserable.

Yeonjun was having the time of his life. He loved the feeling in his stomach whenever the ride went down, and the fact that you were lowkey suffering right in front of him made him laugh even harder.

The speed went on for a few more rounds until it finally slows down. Your heart and probably everything else stilled once the ride came to a complete stop just as your car reached the top. "Thank God. I felt like I was going to die."

"Well, you're safe for now." Yeonjun grins, leaning back in his heat. "You wanted to enjoy the view, right? We'll be stuck here for probably about a minute or two so enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yeah." You smile back, looking outside the window.

The winds were colder up there, reminding you of how warm it felt when you stood close to Yeonjun earlier. Yeonjun catches you warming yourself up with your hands and chuckles. He takes off his jacket and hands it over to you. "Here, put this on."

"Thanks." You quickly put his jacket on. Usually you'd go for the polite route and turn him down but if you were going to continue this friendship business then you weren't about to suffer in the cold when the dude's practically handing you a solution.

Yeonjun gives you a little smile before you continue to admire the view. Down there, the lights almost looked like a sea of stars. The music around the place didn't really help set the mood but somehow, the mixture of it along with the laughter and delightful screams of the other visitors made it feel right. After everything that happened today, you felt like it was the right decision to end the day with this breathtaking sight.

And Yeonjun couldn't agree more. The lights below reflected in your eyes in a way that made the atmosphere lighter. He could tell you were happy and right now, that seemed to be enough for him.

The Ferris Wheel began moving. Yeonjun snickers as he felt you grab for his hand, worried that the ride might throw you off once more, but it didn't. The way down was slow, allowing you to enjoy the ride in peace. Your pendant started to shine, reflecting the lights. It reminded him of everything that happened, from the moment you two met and agreed on a friendship that would last for only a day, up until now where he held your hand on the Ferris Wheel after deciding to be friends for real this time. The pendant became the sole proof of that friendship and Yeonjun couldn't help but wonder if the ones he bought a few years back would truly be of any use in the future. But what would it symbolize for? Who knows, he might just give you the other half.

Your car comes to a stop and the doors open. The realization that the day has officially come to an end left you feeling disappointed. Yeonjun squeezes your hand, bringing your attention to him. He gestures for the two of you to get up and you do, finally stepping back on the ground.

Both you and Yeonjun felt that the way back to the entrance was too fast. It really did seem like the two of you wouldn't see each other again despite the fact you went to the same university. The thought felt silly but that's just how the carnival experience gets to you.

"I guess this is it." Yeonjun speaks up first. "You live pretty far from here, right? I can take you home if you want."

"It's okay. My cousin lives nearby and I texted her earlier that I'd be staying over." You tell him, not wanting him to worry. "How about you? Will you be alright on your own?"

"Yeah, definitely." Yeonjun reassures, holding up his hands. "Oh, and by the way. Is it okay if I leave the plushies on your bag for now? I can't exactly carry them on the way back. If it's ok with you."

"Don't worry. You can just take them back tomorrow." You grin and Yeonjun smiles back. "Also, I'm keeping your jacket for now. I'll return it after I clean it up."

"I can work with that." He shouldn't feel this happy but he did. In a way, he was able to find an excuse to meet up with you tomorrow without things getting awkward. Maybe this friendship could work out afterall.

"Thanks for today. Honestly, this was the most fun I've had ever since I got here." You say, taking one last look at him.

I should be the one to thank you. "You know, I have a lot of things I wanna say to you right now but I think I'm gonna wait until I feel like it."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I'll text you later." Yeonjun gives you a quick pat on the shoulder before running off to the opposite direction. "See you at school! And don't forget to bring the kids!"

You raise a brow. Did he just refer to the plushies as his kids?

He felt dumb, running away from you. The longer he stayed, the more he had trouble leaving, which was new for him. It's been a while since he actually found someone he'd like to hang out with and he was having trouble controlling his excitement. Soon, you'd be able to visit each other's houses, hang out more freely, talk about your days as if it were nothing, and get to know each other more. Honestly speaking, Yeonjun couldn't wait for that day to come but I guess he'll just have to start with tomorrow.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Joint Operation': New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out!

"Joint Operation"

"I'm proud to be who I am..."

Chapter Summary: After making plans about their next moves against Perseus in London, Yirina & Park are now awaiting for John Price to arrive in Century House to get it started...

Link of the Picrew here!

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3500

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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Once that we have agreed on what to do in the parking lot, it was time for us four to get back to our respective offices, now having to not talk of any things that could help the CIA to stop Perseus before us, it was our hard work and we ain't going to let the Americans get the upper hand and stop Perseus we could. Maybe that we're on the same side of the war but here, it's different. It's just going to be us, the MI6...and now, adding to that, the Special Air Service...Captain John Price and his men.

When we came back to our office, the first thing that Park did was to get on the line with Hereford and reach out to Price, asking for his help, and thankfully, we didn't even have to tell any important details to him that he was already agreeing to come with his men but because of some things on his side, he would be only able to come near the end of the afternoon, causing us to get along with it and wait for him and the SAS to arrive in London, Park having to precise that they needed 'the necessary tools for work'.

Now, it was the beginning of a 'normal day' for us: back to our offices and going to work, knowing that now, people were listening to us. We didn't work for the first part of the day until noon as we start to search for every bug that the CIA got, finding some in the lamps, on some drawers, and of course, inside our phones and all of this search by faking a discussion or staying silent, a feeling fo disgust when a hidden bug was found, knowing that we weren't secure in here.

The rest of the day went pretty well: having lunch with Zasha & Portnova in their office and after that, analyzing what's the MI6 got from Peter's apartment and what we saw made our day: Peter had suspicions of the location of where the Perseus members are hiding and it as all pointing out to Canary's Wharf...Lukas Ritter's tracker managing to give us the benefit of the doubt and that's what we were seeing in that detail when the estimated time for Price to arrive was here.

"Should be here soon for me," I said, checking up my watch on my left wrist as I was with Park at her desk, focusing actually on the construction site map of Canary's Wharf. "What do you think about it?" I asked her, who was sitting on her chair with me just behind her.

"I don't know, he said that there were some problems to deal with before getting here," She replied, telling me the same thing she did when she hang out after that phone call.

"At least, we know that he's coming," I muttered, putting my hands on the desk at a few centimeters from the map and the few pen that we were using to write things that we couldn't say loudly.

"Of course," Park alleged as her right hand moves towards one of the pens and a piece of paper to write on it. "How much do you think they could be?" She wrote that pretty quick on that paper, tapping with her pen two times below the sentence.

"Uhm..." I mumbled, grabbing her pen in her hand to write. "Estimated for me? At least 20 to 30," I replied with my writing just right under her sentence. "How many men Price has?" I added to it.

"Enough," Park responded by talking, using a low tone to say it. "Don't worry, we're maybe lower in numbers but the SAS knows how to make the job done," She continued, turning her head towards me. "You know that well," She smiled at me, meaning it.

"Of course," I breathed before I moved softly for a little kiss on her lips but I couldn't know if it was something like that or because I wanted it since our last kiss in the car. "Thanks," I whispered after the kiss, seeing her lips going for a smile, and then, two knocks at our door...

"Who is this?" Park asked, putting herself well on her seat to face the door but the only response we see was the door opening to reveal Portnova with behind them, a man with a dark blue beanie and a large vest on the same color...him, Price.

"Oh, Portnova, good to see you," I exclaimed, happy to see her here and talking a bit loud to make myself heard by the CIA through the bugs.

"Hey, there's John Price from the SAS behind me, he came to see us first," Portnova spoke up, pointing behind her with her left thumb, Price making a sign with his head to say hello, Park doing the same with me to him. "You told us that you wanted to see him so here he is," He said, moving aside to let Price walk in front to enter the room, taking off his beanie.

"Good to see you, Helen," Price grinned at Park, moving next to the chairs in front of her desk and putting his hands on the backrest of one of them.

"Me too, John," She muttered in a low voice, her eyes looking at her right eye with her thumb touching the ring finger.

"Well, I'm leaving you three for now on," Portnova said but then, she moves to my desk to grab a piece of paper & a pen to write something, me going closer to see what she was going to write on it. "Zed is already in the underground parking with Price's men, you'll join us soon," That's what I could see on it after she finished writing, winking at me before she left the office, closing the door behind her.

"So, you know why I ask you to come?" Park started, having her both hands joined together as I got back next to her with the piece of paper in my hands. "Thanks," She said when I gave her the paper, taking a look at quickly.

"Yes, you said that Stone was back and that Perseus was in town," Price replied, staying up behind that chair, maybe thinking that our presence in here will be short. "That you needed support,"

"I do, we do," Park clarified, putting aside the paper before looking back at him. "We both know that we have to work again together for that case and we need you & your men," She clarified, quickly followed by a nod from Price.

"Helen, the SAS is always going to have your back, count on that," He affirmed with a sure tone in his voice, meaning it by a lot as his eyes drifted towards the map that was on the desk, just in front of Park.

"If you want, we can talk about how we can proceed," I told him, scratching the left side of my jaw with my right hand.

"Of course, well..." Price started to say as Park immediately got her hands back on the same pen and another piece of paper to write something else. "My men are waiting for us in the underground parking," He pointed out behind him before looking at the paper Park was showing him.

"CIA listening, tell that you're here to install a temporary HQ in here," Park's writing was looking rather quick but still good looking, showing the note pretty clear to Price

"We're been thinking of installing an HQ in Century House for our ops in town," Price bought it instantly, knowing that she was saying the truth along with me and our gestures. "Maybe that you want to give instructions to them," He advised.

"That's a good idea, John," Park approved of it, her voice sounding like it was going to be better to talk in the parking than talking about here. "Let's go then," She ordered with enthusiasm as she got up from her seat and grab her jacket on its backrest.

I followed the same procedure as her by going back to my desk and grab what I needed: my jacket & my M1911 while Park took with her, the map of the construction site in Canary's Wharf, and of course, her pistol, and then, we were ready to go out of the office, me & Park taking the lead and gesturing to Price that we couldn't talk in here and the hallways before we arrived inside the elevator, the only place with the underground parking that we could talk freely without been heard but instead, we stayed quiet.

Our mouths were kept shut inside the elevator while it was going down to the parking and when we stepped out, the first thing that caught up my eyes was two vans parked near the same car that I & Park used earlier this day with some men around them, talking to each other and hearing the little sound of the elevator's doors opening up caused every looks to be put on us, giving me a sort of little pressure to be observed by those people even if I know that those guys are friendly.

"Finally, we can talk freely, I think," I sighed as we all three start walking towards the car that was having Zasha & Portnova near it, staying on their side alone and away for the moment from Price's men.

"Why the CIA's listening to you?" Price asked by curiosity behind us.

"Because they don't like us, John," Park replied in a clear voice, already taking out the wrapped map from her jacket, making a sign with her at Zasha & Portnova. "For them, we're useful to have what they need...we don't want that, not after what they're doing with us," She added as we arrived near the car, Park unwrapping the map over the car's hood.

"So, this is their hideout?" Zasha demanded as they didn't know about the actual layout of the construction site, we only saw that minutes before Price arrives here.

"Two entrances, multiples covers, and for them, an exit in the Tube," I explained, looking at everything that was put around circles and seemed important by me & Park. "A perfect place to hide for Perseus," I added.

"What about the tracker that you put on Lukas?" Portnova questioned me, crossing her arms.

"Unfortunately, it stopped emitting 30 minutes ago," Park answered at my place to her, not even letting move my lips to speak. "Either they found out about it or they have something blocking it to emit," She theorized as I was in charge of keeping an eye on the tracking device that got off as she said 30 minutes ago.

"A jammer?" Price mumbled, his left hand below his chin and adopting a thinking attitude. "It could be possible but now, they're going to think that's something off," He presumed, me & Park nodding at him about that. "And that's where we all coming,"  He added as he got his hands over the map. "What's your plan, Helen?" He demanded, looking at her.

"To start, I think that we should get two teams striking the entrances," She started, moving her fingers on the map to point to the two entrances she mentioned. "The one at that warehouse should be the first one to go on with discretion," She suggested as she looks at everyone to see our reaction to that. "And then, we launch the attack, stealth isn't and can't be used during a large part of the operation,"

"Two teams, two entrances, it should work perfectly," Price speculated, his eyes looking at the map as if he was analyzing it for a better opinion on it. "The only problem is that we have to react quickly to eliminate that group before they could use the Tube," He said, his fingers over the side of the map that was getting inside a part of the metro.

"I'm sure that we can do it," I proclaimed like that, getting a bit enthusiastic to get Perseus out of London.

"I'm sure too," Zasha joined in with me in my statement. "Your men, sir, are very good elements, we can do it quickly," They complimented, their eyes drifting to look at the group of people in SAS uniforms near the first van that was near us.

"Thank you, Smirnov," Price thanked them, giving them a nod to that compliment. "Now, we should organize to see who is doing what," He declared, crossing his arms as Portnova suddenly decide to go away from us without any words, walking to get leaned on a pole that was almost 10 meters from us.

"Well...Uhm...I think that I want to volunteer to be with the group going first," I said, raising my left hand to that, wondering inside of me why I did this.

"I'm in too," Zasha joined me in raising their hand, making my eyes go wide for a bit. "What about you, Park?" They demanded towards her who was thinking by looking at the map.

"I'll choose, don't worry," She simply replied, not moving her head away from the map. "If you wish, I'll talk about the details with Price alone," She stated.

"As you wish, Park," I told her, making a lovely tap over her left shoulder before we decide along with Zasha to leave Park & Price alone but Zasha quickly left me to join the group they were looking at before as for me, I needed to see Portnova.

She was all alone, leaned on that pole, arms crossed and looking away from everyone. When she first walk away from the group, no one wondering why she left except me, I wanted to know why she was like that...was she thinking about something bad? Perseus was now aware that she was alive following the assassination attempt at the University of London and since, I was sometimes able to see that she wasn't looking well & secure to be around, surely because we were having a big target on our backs...something that needed to be erased...

"Portnova?" I called out with a low voice as I approach her in a slow walk.

"Yes?" She muttered, her eyes looking down at her feet.

"Are you alright?" I demanded, arriving right next to her at least 1 meter from her. "I saw you leaving the group seconds ago and...I'm worried," I clarified myself in case, even joining my hands together, looking like a shy girl.

"I wish I could say yes and I don't want to say no," She responded, turning softly her head at me, her face seeming neutral for me. "I know that I shouldn't be like that but it's hard to believe that...even with every try, Perseus is always here," He sniffed.

"I know, it's hard," I joined her on that thought.

"I want to live a perfect life with Zasha, having them with me while the two of us are working at our respective workplace: me as a teacher, them...I'm not sure if they want to stay a cryptographer but..." She stopped herself for a few seconds to take a deep breath. "Not having a feeling to been watched, listened and threatened by someone," She resumed in a lower voice, sounding neutral for me.

"That's what you told me...three years ago," I exclaimed, crossing my arms as I had flashes in my head showing me my memory with her near the Moskova. "You were scared, I had a memory with you last night...a meeting near the Moskova, away from the city," I explained

"So, you remember that day..." She whispered with a little grin at me. "I'm still scared about this...since that day," She said, her voice sounding broken as she pass her hands below her eyes. "No, I'm not crying here...not at all," She defended herself despite that tears were visible on her face, hiding them with her hands.

"It's okay, you can cry, we all do that one day," I confided with the truth on that subject, everyone can be having a bad moment...crying is normal. "Listen, I'm still sorry about...the three years that passed with....you alone, I'll make sure...we'll make sure that Perseus will be destroyed," I commented, giving my apologies about that situation she faced alone...even if I already told them.

"I know, thank you," She grinned at me

"No...thank you for...being a great friend, Portnova," I thanked her back as she was meaning a lot as a friend for me, along with Zasha, adding a friendly tap over her right shoulder to fully mean it entirely.

"Well, thanks," She whispered, still smiling at me while I did it too as her eyes suddenly got focused behind me. "Seems that Zed is talking to their friends," She stated, making me turn around to look and see Zasha talking with three people: someone with a sort of mohawk haircut...like Freya, a man with a black hood on and a white skull as a decal, and then, a man with a helmet and a black hood too.

"I didn't know that they were friends with them," I confessed as Portnova move away from the pole she was leaned on to join me at my side.

"They told me that after Price showed up," She explained, crossing her arms as we were looking at the group. "I think they are Soap, Ghost &...Roach," She revealed to me, her voice getting a bit sounding confused at the end. "What the hell kind of a name is Roach?" She asked me.

"Don't know but...why don't we join Zasha to talk with them?" I proposed to her and it's without any hesitation from me & her that we decide to join the group, observing that Zasha was the one to talk mainly in it.

"Hi, miss Grigoriev," The mohawk guy spoke first with a Scottish accent as he was sitting on the back of the van, the back doors widely as the inside was looking like an armory...he's Soap. "And...you must be Zasha's wife, I presume?" He demanded, pointing out at Portnova.

"That's correct," Portnova replied with a smile as Soap offered his hand to her.

"John 'Soap' Mactavish, call me simply Soap," He presented himself as he & Portnova shook hands before they withdraw from each other. "Here's our Ghost," He pointed at the man with a black hood and a white skull decal.

"Pleasure to meet you both," The man said, surprising me with the voice he used, feeling it very deeper and...unusual.

"And here's Roach," Soap finished, his hand pointing towards the man with a helmet and the hood, leaned against one of the backdoors of the van.

"Hi, misses..." The man waved at us, sounding rather shy in his voice and we waved back at him.

"They are my friends," Zasha told me, their hands joining together and they were sounding a bit unsure to tell it actually, their gestures looking like a shy person. "We...I met and talk with them during & after our mission in Cuba,"

"A pretty good sniper, they told us that you're the woman that formed them in it," Soap exclaimed, addressing himself towards me.

"The kid has a good heart, same for you as I heard," Ghost added, crossing his arms as he looked at me through his black hood.

"Well, Zasha is my best friend for years...almost 9 years to be honest," I admitted as Zasha was looking at me with a smile, giving me some hope as I was like opening myself to those guys. "I'm doing my best as I can,"

"You...you did good," Roach implored, getting Soap & Ghost eyes on him.

"Of course, that's good, we're doing the same thing with you," Soap told him as he joined his hands together over his legs.

"Everyone," Then, we all heard Price's voice calling us out and getting our attention on him & Park who was standing next to him. "As you could know, we're fighting Perseus again and today, we have a chance to bring them down in London and maybe in England if we can," He started, his hands around his waist.

"Perseus' agents are hiding in a construction site in Canary's Wharf and we think that they could leave tonight, we're striking them today," Park spoke up, making her voice loud & clear for everyone who was now gathered to see them as for us, we didn't move at all from our spot.

"There will be two teams: one led by me & Park while the other will be led by Grigoriev," He announced, making my eyes goes wide at this. "Soap, Ghost, Roach, Griffin & Wallcroft, you'll be with her, the others, with me & Park," He continued as my jaw was dropped discreetly at this but not because I was going to led a SAS team. "Prepare your equipment, we'll be leaving soon," He ordered clearly, causing everyone to split up.

"Park," I called her as I walk towards her. "You...you're not coming in the same team with me?" I demanded, wondering why...just why...

"Don't worry, Yiri," She started with a little smile at me. "It's just for the beginning, the attack will get us back, don't worry about it, and like the SAS say..." She advised me, stopping in her words before pulling me in for a quick kiss on the lips before she looked back at me, a face that wanted to me stay calm and not worry about this...

"Stay frosty!"

[sanababes]

It All Ends Here

Pairings: female kpop idols x fem!reader

Warnings: NEUTRAL (detective au)

-----------

PROFILE

• Name: Park Y/n (female)

• Age: 18

• Height: 5'8

• Bloodtype: A-

===

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock

The sound of the clock almost lulled you to sleep. Exhaustion was finally taking a toll on your whole body due to the continuous murder cases for the past weeks. You and your teammates were sent to different crime scenes to assist the bureau, and especially to ensure the safety of the city of Seoul.

A sound of glass being placed on the table interrupted your eyelids from fully closing. You looked up to see your trusted partner, Major Song Yuqi. She chuckled at your vulnerable state then took a sit across you.

"It's pretty rare to see you that tired, Y/n." She mocked playfully.

You rolled your eyes out of annoyance and clearly, your day won't get any better.

"Yeah right,"

She gestured you to drink the liquid that she mainly prepared to ease your troubled mind. You casted a look of doubt to your mischievous friend before shrugging your shoulders and sipped on the hot tea. A delightful sigh came out from your mouth as the warm liquid rushed down on your throat.

"Damn, that's much better... Thanks, Yuqi." You smiled gently which made the latter feel contented.

"It's nothing, Lead Inspector."

"Oh! Today's finally the day we elect a new mayor! Who are you going to vote for?" She added while pacing around your room excitingly.

"Huh? I don't know yet..." You replied nonchalantly.

"Well I'm going for Kwon Boa, but don't tell chief though or he'd go spare!" You chuckled at your partner's antics.

Seoul is currently celebrating the election between the mayoral candidates – Choi Siwon (red party) and Kwon Boa (blue party). Both are socialites within the government, with Siwon being the current elected mayor and Boa's aspiring will to lead the city better.

Just then, the door of your office burst open. The two of you immediately rise up and greeted the Police Chief of Seoul, Kim Namjoon.

"There you are, Lead Inspector. I've been searching for you, "

"Speaking of the devil..." You heard Yuqi grumbling under her breath.

You stifled a laugh before welcoming the man inside.

"Well know that you found me, what is it that you want to say, Chief?" Your eyes glanced down to the i voted badge on his chest.

"I'm sure that you guys know that today is an important day! Keeping things secure is our top priority for now, that's why I came here. I want you to go check out the red party's offices because Mayor Siwon has expressed strong fears about the safety of his staffs and I don't want to leave anything to chance." He stated, but you're a little unsure with his sudden firm attitude.

"But chief I've been hoping that we'd be having a day off—"

Yuqi's whine was cut off when the chief yelled out.

"You can't seriously have hoped to be off duty on such a day, Major Song?! Now go and report to me as soon as your team is done patrolling!"

Eventually, you went to the lounge area of the officers with Yuqi tailing behind you and saw your other five teammates chilling without any worries.

"Guys! We'll be heading to the headquarters of the red party, please ready yourselves and we'll leave in a bit."

Sua, Jennie, Joy, Sana, and Miyeon groaned in unison as they struggled to follow your orders.

"Oh stop with the fuss, we are all tired here... Don't worry I'll try to book a week vacation for us." You offered.

Their faces instantly lit up at what you said, causing them to gear up hastily which made you snort.

《at Red party's Headquarters》

You and the girls stepped out from the van then walked up to the entrance of the building.

"Hey Y/n, have you noticed... how tense Chief is acting lately?" Jennie said as she clings to your right arm.

The others immediately agreed to what the older girl uttered.

"I know right, maybe the mayor is putting some kind of pressure on him. I hope it stops after the elections." Sana continued while swiftly wrapping her arm around you.

"We don't know anything about that yet, let's just wait and see."

You finally composed yourself, and as if it was planned, Mayor Siwon appeared with his bodyguards behind him.

"Inspector Y/n, I'm so glad that you girls are here!"

He shook hands with you and the girls looked at him with hidden disgust, unknown to your own oblivious demeanor.

"That goes the same for us, Mr. Choi." You smiled politely.

"Uhm since my headquarters are about to open in an hour or two, I want to make sure everything is safe for my staff's last day of work."

He motioned to come closer to the sealed doors before unlocking them one by one.

"Here, I've opened the doors for you. Please if you can just have a quick look inside, I'll feel safer." You and the girls reluctantly stepped inside the offices.

Your team began to part ways and started to look around the vast hall.

Not even a few seconds had passed, a loud shriek coming from Joy made you dash to her side.

"What's wro– oh shit!" Yuqi cursed as she saw what the latter was screaming about.

There in front of you and the other officers was a man sitting in one of the office chairs, unfortunately, he was shot to death.

"Oh my god! B-but how could this happen, and is that the rookie model, Kwon Jiyoung? What is h-he even doing here?" Joy stuttered due to the terrifying scene.

"I've never liked him at all since he's been involved with some drug scandal, but to die like that and be shot right between the eyes? Damn..." Sua sighed.

Just then, the mayor called out.

"Inspector, is everything alright?" His eyes went wide when he saw Jiyoung's dead body.

"Oh god, I-I swear I had nothing to do with this! I'm innocent and history will prove it!" He exclaimed while starting to walk backwards.

"Calm down, Mr. Choi. We're just going to need to talk to you since Jiyoung was shot in your headquarters, after all." You warned him with your raspy voice.

'Ughh, daddy~' The girls thought except for Yuqi.

( a/n: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

The mayor agreed and ushered you and your team to make it quick.

"Oh God, the press will surely crucify me once they knew about this. We need to do some damage control!"

After calming the man down, you added him to the profile list for being a possible suspect.

You told Jennie, Sana, and Joy to bring the victim's body to the morgue for an autopsy report. The rest are tasked to investigate the crime scene.

"Y/n! I found a receipt, this might be a clue." Miyeon said as you take a look on the faded paper.

It belonged to Jiyoung and it seems like he bought a drink at Lotte Hotel shortly before his death.

"Good job, maybe try checking the hotel after this search? You can bring Detective Jieun with you."

"Yes, Inspector!" She kissed your cheek before going back on finding clues or some fingerprints.

'Why are they so whipped for me...'

===

You and Yuqi are currently talking with the mayor in some private room within the Red party's offices. They are still some questions that Siwon needs to answer to give your team some information.

"Inspector, this cannot be happening! The journalists will have a field day with this if it goes out to the public!" He said and distress was evident on his face.

"I'm afraid that we cannot make this go all away, but I have already informed the Chief. I'm sure he'll keep this case confidential for a lotted time." Your partner reassured the man.

"I can't believe people would do this... Killing a man just to ruin my chances of being re-elected!"

Your brows furrowed at his statement.

"So you are claiming that you were framed?"

He reasoned that Kwon Jiyoung was an avid supporter of his campaign.

"I see, thank you for having time for us Mr. Mayor." You and Yuqi soon left the offices.

《back to Seoul Police Department》

The good news instantly came as the two of you arrived at the station. Coroner Kim Taeyeon reported that the victim was executed cleanly with an extremely precise shot. The killer seems to be right-handed due to the bullet trajectory and definitely knows how to handle a gun.

—————————————————

KILLER'S PROFILE

• handles guns

• right-handed

—————————————————

Meanwhile, Miyeon and Jieun just came back from investigating the lobby and bar of Lotte Hotel.

"Y/n, it's confirmed that Kwon Jiyoung came to the hotel shortly before his death. We also picked up a torn ticket, I'm sure it looks promising!" The detective said while handing you a clear zip bag which contains the clue.

"I see, let me try restore it in my office. I'll see you guys in a bit."

You sauntered towards your office and placed the torn pieces of the ticket on your table. You leaned one of your hands on the hard surface before starting to place the pieces together.

You're now down to the last part when someone back hugged you and nuzzled its face into the crook of your neck.

"Y/n~ let's cuddle~" Sana whined which made you chuckle.

"Now is not the time for that Sana-ssi, besides I just finished restoring the second clue." You showed her the finished product.

The girl snatched it from your hold before skimming through the details of the plane ticket. She also pushed you gently towards the table which made you sit on it, the latter smiled then placed herself on your lap.

"It says that this ticket was brought under Kwon Jiyoung's name. And this is a one-way ticket to Hawaii! Why he would even purchase such kind of trip?" Sana pouted as she turned her face towards you.

"You're right. As far as I know, Jiyoung's sole goal in life is to be a bona fide member of Seoul's exclusive luxury community. He'll never have left for some tropical islands..."

"The credit card number used to buy this ticket will help us understand everything! ...Oh no, it's badly printed... can you help decipher this for me Sana unnie?" You asked cutely.

"O-of course, I'll be done in no time!" You saw her blushing which made you smirk internally.

"Thanks, I really appreciate the help." You pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the latter flustered.

Your phone suddenly rang as you pressed answer, not even bothering to look at the name of the caller.

"Yah Park Y/n! We still need to have a chat with Kwon Boa, I'm barging in any second!" Yuqi exclaimed.

You groaned at her childish demeanor.

"I'll be back in an hour, please do your task okay?" You reminded Sana before finally meeting up with Yuqi.

===

《Seoul City Hall》

The press conference of the candidates just ended a few minutes ago, so you took it as an advantage and greeted the head of the blue party.

"Ah, Inspector Park! It's nice to see you, have you voted yet? After what happened today it seems like my victory tonight is almost ensured!" Boa expressed herself happily.

"Are you referring to Kwon Jiyoung's murder?" Yuqi asked as you watched the older woman in front.

"Hmm, I always had a hunch that the red party is populated with bloodthirsty maniacs. I mean making dreadful deeds just to advance their political agenda... Poor Mr. Kwon being shot at their own headquarters, now I'm sure that the citizens of Seoul will vote for me!"

"Anyways, my campaign has always been based on honesty and morals." The mayoral candidate stated.

You just sighed at her egocentric reply.

"I think that's all that we need to know for now, Mrs. Kwon. We'll keep in contact with you, just in case." You sent her a cold gaze before walking away with your partner.

Yuqi grumbled under her breath before draping her arms around your tall frame.

"These goddamn politicians are going to be the death of me..."

You chuckled on what she said.

"Same... Right now we only have two suspects."

"Yeah, we should close this case as soon as we can. By the way, Officer Chan told me that you should check your email soon. He said the mayor's staff sent you a video recording." Your partner explained.

You immediately grabbed your phone then opened your email.

1 unread inbox

You shared a meaningful glance with Yuqi before opening the said message.

A videotape is played which showed Kwon Boa sneaking into the Mayor's office, presumably right before Jiyoung was killed.

"I can't believe this! It's Mrs. Kwon! We should speak to her again right now–"

"Not so fast, Major Song." Chief Kim appeared with some of the SWAT officers behind him.

"Mrs. Kwon can wait, I want you two to go secure the stand where the election's winner will be announced."

"Huh? But Chief we can't lose time on finding–" you tried to argue, but as usual, you were cut off again.

"Finding Mr. Kwon's murderer is top-priority, but so is the election winner's safety! I'm counting on you Inspector Park, go talk to Boa and don't forget to check out the election stand on the way!"

You and your partner had no choice but to follow his orders instantly.

"Every goddamn time, he always cuts us off!" You whined childishly which is pretty rare.

After a few minutes of walking, the two of you arrived at the wide podium. It has two large posters of each party which is hanged opposite to one another. The guest tables were pretty scattered in front of it due to the neglecting visitors who came to watch the awaited conference a while ago.

"Let's split up, you're with the tables then the podium is mine." You instructed Yuqi.

"Yes ma'am!"

The two of you then started to inspect the area thoroughly without missing a single spot. There were a few plant vases on the stage which didn't look suspicious until you saw one that looked a bit unkempt and the soil was disheveled too.

'Oh! Looks like our killer messed up a little, too bad for him...'

You wore your leather gloves before analyzing the vase carefully. It seems like someone previously dug up a hole and covered it carelessly. A smirk crept into your lips as you shoved your hand in the soil and began to try feel any possible foreign object.

"What are you doing?" You looked down to see your partner doubting your current efforts to find a lead.

"I'm searching for any clues? Duh..."

You suddenly felt a hard item and struggled to have a grip on it. After a few seconds of harsh pulling, you finally hauled a small garbage bag with something wrapped completely inside it.

"Look what I got~" you grinned playfully.

"How the fuck did you–"

"I'm going to bring this to the forensic team, have anything useful too?" You asked while stepping down the podium.

"Uh I got this hidden camera on one of the tissue holders, and then I saw this notebook on the floor. The page is torn so I think It looks suspicious so yeah,"

Yuqi handed the portable camera and ripped notebook to you. She also helped on putting all the clues inside your forensic kit whilst you called for Officer Wooseok to pick you up from the city hall.

"I called for Jennie and Joy to help you talk with Mrs. Kwon again, I'm sure you can handle it without me right? I'll go ahead to the station to get this stuff examined." You bid a goodbye to your partner and told her to wait for the other girls.

'Let's see if the fun starts from now on.'

Part 2 coming soon...

--------------

How was ittt? Its my first time writing with these kind of theme sooo yeah hihi 🐶

[formashimataichi]

Lol I do think we're not gonna see eye to eye on this because of my experience witnessing those situations but that's fine!

To clarify couple of points though

- I do not think that in the year since the rejection he did what I said he should do before trying to restart a close friendship. In fact he was on a self destructive path there for a while. He was kinda lashing out at Karuta. But I think his match with Arata set him straight. So I do think he made some progress when it comes to his relationship with Arata, but when it comes to Chihaya I don't think he did at all. That's why I was so sure that he wasn't over her : his behavior was not that of someone coping with rejection in a healthy way. He accepted that she rejected him and gave up on pursuing her and put some distance , but those alone do not mean that he is coping well, it could be the opposite. In his case I dont think he made much progress if any.

- chihaya seeing him with someone wasn't meant to be a particularly important thing. It was an example among others that shows her that he has a cool head now, confidence and independence and most importantly a support system that does not rely on her. We've been focusing on Taichi's perspective for the sake of conversation but let's not forget that the feeling of guilt that people on her side of the equation can feel in those situation is pretty toxic. It's really important that she doesn't feel pressured one way or the other. If he's unhappy she could feel responsible for that, if he's reliant on her(which usually happens in close friendships) for support she can feel pressured to be too nice, and on the other hand she would fear that if she's too nice it would look like she's leading him on, she could also feel hesitant to rely on him and accept his support for herself because it would feel selfish after rejecting him (regardless of its true). This toxicity could manifest in many different ways and thats why I think its best that she sees him as, again, confident, happy, independent and with a system of support that does not rely on her. (At least not only or mainly on her)

- lastly as to the Arata being with Chihaya constituting a major blow, maybe but I doubt it. He already knows and maybe always known or at least believed that she loves Arata (and he knows that he loves her) so although the reality of it might be tough its not something unexpected at least.

I’m sorry for replying to this so late! I finally have some time spared from homework, thank goodness. 😭

I definitely think it’s true his relationship with Arata is on a straighter path to resolution at the moment than is his relationship with Chihaya (especially given the chapter that just came out on Sunday), but at the same time, I guess that’s why I feel like it’s necessary for them to talk things out and clear the air. There’s been a few very heartfelt moments between the two of them since he left the club—the reunion at Nationals, obviously, and the time he’s over at her house and helps her understand that she needs to do the things she doesn’t want to in order to do the things she does want to, him wishing for her to become best in the world after the Qualifiers are over, even the little aside where she and the club got him the special mattress—but obviously those moments still felt distanced in a sense, and I feel like that’s because they were still failing to actually explicitly address the rift that had been created between them and its causes. They both had been (Taichi) or are (Chihaya) aware of those causes by now, but of course it’s easier said than done to actually get down to it and talk about how and why their relationship fractured. I do agree that that’s not going to be something resolved in the blink of an eye and will likely take time and still some careful treading from the both of them, but I don’t think prolonging the lack of confrontation (for lack of a better word) between them is going to necessarily help the situation either? I feel like they at least need to sit down and verbalize to each other how much they missed each other’s company or that they’re sorry for so and so thing, etc. And maybe after that, they’ll still need some distance to properly mend that rift and allow the wound to fully air out, but I do think addressing it explicitly will help in doing so, because they’d at least be on a somewhat similar (if not the same) page about where they want the relationship between them to go. I guess that could appear to be a tall order considering the manga feels like it’s in its final arc, but there’s also the two months left of their school year, and I don’t think Suetsugu would skip over them entirely. Maybe summer vacation could also be a good time for the two of them to have that healthy distance from each other but with a positive outlook in mind, and then after they start attending classes and such they might find it easier to fully mend that rift because they’d also have started making connections with other people. At the least I don’t think Suetsugu’s going to leave their relationship entirely hanging before the series is over. I feel like resolving the rifts between the various relationships within the trio is really important to her and something she wants to emphasize before it’s all over and before they officially move into “adulthood”. 

[belladonnaandulriched]

the dead of night | chapter eight

Frank's point of view

Syracuse looked very different that afternoon, as did Rochester. I never really went out that way that much, but there was always something about it that struck me sideways. Maybe it had to do with Joey hailing from near there, maybe it had to do with the ghoulish blue and green neon rising up from the tops of the buildings, maybe it had to do with the fact it was its own thing aside from New York City, but there was something precious about it to me. There was a part of me that said Francine hid out somewhere in there, somewhere inside of that donut surrounding the outskirts of the city.

I wondered if she knew that I wanted to find her after she went missing, and I wondered if she knew that I wanted to find her even after the trail fell cold. The murder trail on my brother fell cold, but I refused to let it go cold on her. She was my girl, my first girl, and she was Hannah's best friend aside from Joey.

But on the other hand, she might have been up in Canada. The only explanation for me was that she went missing in Canada, and therefore she stayed in Canada. There was no way she hid out there in upstate New York. And yet I knew it. I just knew it: she was there.

I peered over my shoulder to the car behind us. I thought about Hannah and her friendship with Francine: all I knew from Francine's account was she met Hannah when they attended school together and they just gelled like they were sisters. Both of them had no siblings so it made sense that they became like sisters: they also both had it rough a bit in life. Hannah was the California girl relocated to New York and grew up feeling like an outsider until she met Joey in her second year there in Oswego.

Francine had parents who wanted to separate but they stayed together for her. She sought solace in the arts from a young age and when she and Hannah attended high school in Rochester together, she took it to an almost cathartic. I recalled when first meeting her after Hannah introduced the five of us to her, that she foresaw everyone in Rochester knowing the combined force of nature that was Hannah Ellsberg and Francine Moody. And it almost came to a point shortly after Joey joined in the lead singer position.

We all saw Francine's agony in her artistry and yet she almost always checked out on a mental level most of the time. Hannah wanted her to be her manager for that reason: she could mentally check out and detach herself from the dark side of everything, and get a handle on everything. A great artist and protective of her best friend in her artistry herself, such that she was willing to promote it. She knew how to hook someone's attention, and it came to a point where she could by using nothing more than her own name. Maybe it was her last name: there was something memorable about the name of Moody, like Belladonna or even Bello, my last name.

I had just barely met Nancy but that was my assumption, too: who else would leave Seattle for the East Coast for anything, and strike up something with Geddy Lee among other things? All I could assume was these three women were sisters bonded by art and the scars of their own pasts.

I thought about Joey in that car with Hannah. Speaking of gelling... the fact the two of them had been able to bond and separate several times throughout the years always made me wonder abou them. Best friends since childhood and yet they managed to strike it up on a romantic level time and time again. It was something I had always wanted with Francine, and watching the Rochester skyline emerge through the darkening rain clouds made me wonder if it would even be possible.

She was out there somewhere and I had no idea if she had any time left.

Nancy led us to the first exit to the southern side of town, where I spotted a couple of people walking along the sidewalk as if it was a regular sunny day there in upstate New York, even though the rain was starting to come down in sheets upon our heads.

“Is that Alex and Neil?” Scott wondered aloud.

“No way,” Geddy said; his voice cut through me like a knife right there in the seat next to me. I took a second look at the two people there on the sidewalk, who appeared to be shuffling about the dampening concrete like a couple of puppets. A couple of puppets in short sleeved shirts and cut off shorts despite the cold rain. I swore I saw a bit of the neon glowing out from their heads, but then again, it could have been nothing more than my imagination doing that to me.

We reached the street corner and that was when the rain really began to fall upon us; Nancy flicked on the windshield wipers and they squeaked with each and every swish at the rain water.

“Okay—now if I remember where it's at...” Her voice trailed off as she hung a right around the corner. She ran into a puddle which had began to swell with the rain, but it wasn't large enough to warrant a huge splash.

“Do you even know Marcia and Sonia are in today?” Geddy asked her with a clearing of his throat.

“Positive,” she replied with a glimpse in the rear view mirror at him, “otherwise, I guarantee we wouldn't be going this way.” I noticed Scott peering out the windshield for himself, even though neither him nor I had any idea as to what to look for. “I'm pretty sure it's here—oh, wait, hang on, Hannah's flashing her lights at us again.”

“Sew Into You!” Geddy exclaimed right then.

“Oh, good eyes, babe!” Nancy followed up as she pulled up to the next intersection to flip a turn. She pulled up to the curb and yanked on the parking lever, and killed the engine right then. The rain pattered on the roof overhead; I watched Hannah and Joey park up ahead of us through the streams of rain water flowing down the outside of the glass.

Geddy and I climbed out of the backseat at the same time and onto the soaked pavement outside; he bowed his head and squinted his eyes against the rain. Nancy joined us outside with the hood of her jacket.

“I forgot my umbrella,” he confessed to her over the roar of the rain. Scott climbed out and led me to the car up ahead to join Hannah and Joey. There was a little bright lit shop behind us: tulles of fabric rested in the front window; beyond that stood a rack of tulles of thread.

“This is that upholstery shop we were talking about,” Nancy said from behind us.

“Let's go in and meet Marcia and Sonia,” Joey joined in right then. He lunged forward and held the door for us. We were greeted by the smell of clean brand new fabric and lemons; indeed, I spotted a pair of girls near the back of the front room both donned in heavy dark sweaters; they appeared to be talking about something about those fat quarters on the table in front of them. The one on the left had a hot pink headband across the crown of her head to separate her bangs from the rest of her straight jet black hair; while the one on the right had a messy head of hair to accentuate her round face. They both looked like twins regardless.

“Marcia, Marcia, Marcia,” Joey called out to one of them. The girl with the headband turned towards us, and her face lit up at the sight of us.

“Hey, you guys!” she declared as she set the two fat quarters on the table before her. “I was hoping you'd show up soon enough.” The girl on the left turned towards us and her eyes twinkled at the sight of Scott and me.

“Who are these two good looking bucks?” she asked Hannah and Joey.

“Scott and Frankie,” Joey replied with a running of his fingers through his jet black curls. “Two of the dudes from my gig.”

“Oh, the amazing Scott and Frankie,” the girl with the headband said with a toss of her hair back over her shoulder. She sauntered over to us, and towards Geddy.

“Hello, darling,” he greeted her with a little grin and a kiss on the side of the face, “good to see you again.”

“How's Alex and Neil?”

“Back home relaxing.”

“Please tell Neil I said hi,” Sonia said to him with a smile upon her face.

“Oh, you know I will,” he assured her as he gave her a kiss hello on the side of the face, “but I don't know if he will, though.” He turned his attention to the rest of the shop. “I never really saw the rest of this shop, if I'm honest.”

“By the way, Joey?” Marcia spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“How's that little outfit that I made for you?”

“Needs to be cleaned,” he said.

“She made you something?” Hannah asked him with a grin on her face.

“A little checkerboard thing.”

“We could make you two a quilt,” Marcia told Geddy and Nancy, “if you wish, anyways.”

“You guys are looking for Francine, right?” Sonia asked Scott and me.

“Yeah, we're—we're kinda helping,” Scott filled in.

“She was my girlfriend,” I added.

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

She nibbled on her bottom lip: she had these deep olive colored eyes that comforted me in the same vein Francine's baby blues always did. She then raised a finger at me and motioned for me to follow her. She led me to the right side of the room while Marcia talked to the others there; Sonia led me to a rack full of different types of buttons. She showed me a little packet of silver buttons about the size of silver dollars. I took a second look to see a vein of neon green inside of the four holes in the middle.

“Don't tell anyone about this,” she whispered to me, “but these are for fixing humans.”

“Humans?” I echoed in a hushed voice.

“They're special buttons crafted over in Schenectady. They're crafted so all the robots can stay within intact—at least, that's according to Lars.” She handed the buttons for me.

“Why do you think I should need these?” I asked her.

“Keep them just in case,” she advised me. “The way things are right now, it's best to go about well equipped.” I sighed through my nose and put the buttons in my coat pocket.

“The world's going to fall apart soon,” she said, “believe me when I say that, too. I'm just saying that right now—you're going to have to find Francine before it's too late.”

I thought about the pandemic, three decades after that moment of time. Like Scott, I had no idea what year it was, but other than the date itself. And yet, she could have been referring to something else.

Something about Joey having done something huge in Seattle when neither of us were looking…

Marcia called out Sonia's name and she strode past me to meet up with her. She left alone there next to the buttons, so I could eye the blue ones next to my knee. Baby blues, like Francine's eyes.

“I'll tear up the earth until I find you,” I muttered under my breath.

******************************

that final line is a quote from miguel hernandez's poem “elegy”

[octannibal-blake]

"We're in this haunted house tour and this smol stranger started holding my hand. I was going to complain but she's pretty, looks scared and holding hands doesn't hurt right?"

not to pick favorites, but this honestly might be my favorite one. thanks for this, nonny! 

also, side bar, ya girl is supposed to have internet back by Wednesday!! Thanks everyone for keeping me entertained during these desprate times. I love you all, I really do!

the set up

“You owe me.”

“Shut up, they’re coming.”

“They?”

It’s not like Bellamy tries to be the kind of guy that keepstrack of his favors. He usually does them because he enjoys being a good friendand honestly, it isn’t a big deal. He doesn’t want people to think they can’tcome to him when they need something. But this is a special case. A very specialcase and he is definitely marking this down as a favor that requires repayment.

Haunted Houses are cool, in theory. Paying some money to seescary stuff because adrenaline is fun and there is nothing quite like getting arush after facing your fears. Except he doesn’t find them scary. Haunted housesare corny, with poor costumes and stupid scare tactics. Everyone he’s ever beentoo has had the same setup – one Michael Meyers character, at least one clown(and he suspects that this year, that number will go up thanks to It), and someguy chasing you around with a chainsaw. Predictable and cheesy and not worthhis money. And yet Miller insists that this is different.

“It’s a corn maze,” he had pitched the idea yesterday, “It’llbe way cooler.”

“No.”

“Dude,” he’s never heard Miller plead before but it’s prettysatisfying to see his friend practically on his knees, begging, “Monty isbringing some of his friends and I don’t want him to think I don’t have any.”

“You all met in an online gaming match,” Bellamy pointedout, “He probably already knows that.”

“Please?”

And that’s how he ended up here, outside of a Haunted Mazedoing his best friend a favor. He’s not sure what making a corn field into ahaunted house is supposed to add. Maybe some weird creepy element because it’soutside in the middle of nowhere. He’s mostly bitter because his cell isn’tpicking up service and he had been in the process of setting up a hook up viaTinder (look, he’s a very busy Grad student and doesn’t have time to hit barsto do things the normal way).

He watches as two people approach, one he recognizes asMiller’s new…boyfriend? Date? He isn’t entirely sure, though he supposes thatif they had made things official, Miller wouldn’t have asked him to tag along.He’s never seen his friend this nervous before. When he talks about Monty, hischeeks get all red and he starts to stutter. It’s actually pretty cute especiallysince Miller tries to be all broody and sarcastic all the time. Really, he’sjust as soft as the rest of them.

The second person he doesn’t recognize. She’s a petiteblonde, almost a head shorter than him with long golden curls and a scarfcurrently wrapped around her neck like she might freeze to death without it. It’sat least fifty degrees – definitely jacket weather but the scarf seems a bitexcessive.

“Hey,” Monty greets as they approach and Bellamy cant’s helpbut grin when Miller leans in to give him a kiss. He really wants to documentthis moment, he’s never seen Miller smitten before, but doesn’t want to givethe wrong impression to Monty.

“Monty, this is Bellamy,” Miller extends an arm towards him,“My asshole roommate.”

“And best friend in the whole world,” Bellamy adds, offeringhis hand. Monty shakes it enthusiastically.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiles and then turns to hiscompanion, “This is Clarke. My roommate.”

Miller laughs, “Wait, roommate? Don’t you live in the dorms?”

Clarke pulls the scarf down from her mouth, and he can’thelp but think of how dramatic it seems to be, “They thought I was guy whenthey placed me. Apparently, they don’t understand the concept of gender neutralnames.”

Bellamy smiles at that.

“Nice to meet you,” Miller says politely and Bellamy nods inagreement, “We ready to head in?”

Clarke’s eyes narrow in confusion, “Wait, where are theothers.”

If he had blinked, he would have missed it. Miller and Montyexchange a quick look, though, unreadable. Vaguely suspicious.

“Jasper couldn’t make it and Raven had to work,” Monty saysquickly. He tries to lock eyes with her but didn’t seem to notice like he did.She just shrugs and begins walking towards the entrance. He tries to fall intostep with her to give Miller a small amount of privacy.

“You realize it’s fall and not the dead of winter, right?”he starts as they stand in line. She looks up at him and her eyes catch thelight. They’re an intense shade of blue. Pretty, even.

“I was cold,” she says defensively, though she begins tounwind the thick scarf from her neck. She unzips the jacket she’s wearing aswell, revealing a blue v-neck underneath. He doesn’t mean to look down, but it’s very hard not to notice. She has agreat chest.

“Wow, we just met,” she says and he looks up quickly,clearing his throat in embarrassment. She laughs at his discomfort, “It’s fine.They do look nice tonight.”

“Uh, yeah,” he replies stupidly. He decides that he likesher. She’s blunt and doesn’t seem fazed by his apparently lack of manners.

“So, what are you going to school for?” he changes thesubject. It’s a safe subject and he manages to keep his eyes firmly away fromher chest. Fucking dick.

The line moves fairly quickly and it doesn’t take long forthem to reach the entrance. They hand over their tickets and move in, theirgroup consisting of just the four of them. He sneaks a glance back at hisfriend, who has a smile glued to his face and seems to be completely unaware ofhis surroundings. Maybe this is worth it.

“Wait,” Clarke says as the doors close behind them and themaze stretches out before them, “Is this everyone we go with?”

He detects a hint of fear in her voice and when his eyesconnects with her, he sees it plain as day.

“You nervous?” he grins at her.

“No,” her voice comes out a bit high pitch, indicating thatshe’s definitely nervous, “Just…maybe they should go first?”

He looks back at the couple behind them and shakes his head,“Nah, the people at the end of the line always die first.”

“Gee, thanks,” she mumbles and pulls her arms around herself.They walk forward and the maze is strangely quiet, as expected. He’s positivethat someone will jump out at them in the next ten seconds. When they turn thefirst corner, he’s right. Michael Meyers greets them at the edge and holds uphis butcher knife.

He scoffs, “Predicatable.”

He doesn’t really move, just holds up the knife and staresthem down. Clarke doesn’t seem too affected by it, though the guy decides toget uncomfortably close to her face when she passes by and it causes her tomove a little closer to him so their arms are brushing together. No big deal. It’sfine.

But then, not long after that comes the first thing to jumpout at them. They’re walking and suddenly the corn russles and something hopsout right in front of them. Clarke screeches and moves back, knocking intoMiller and nearly causing him to fall over. Clearly, he hadn’t been ready.

“Fuck,” she huffs when the thing disappears back into thecorn.

Miller pushes her gently off him with a laugh, “You good?”

“I fucking hate haunted houses,” she says finally, “I knownone of it’s real but when people jump out at me I kind of want to run away,kind of want to punch them in the face.”

“You should punch the next one in the face,” Bellamy addsquickly, “It would definitely be worth my money.”

She seems to relax slights after that, giving him a warmsmile and continuing forward. The next scene the stumble across isn’t thatscary, just a clearing filled with the children of the corn, which is sort ofdisturbing in its own way, but not scary. It’s when they here a laugh come frombehind him that he feels hand slide into his and grip it, hard.

He almost lets out a surprised grunt, but when she begins tocling to his arm and he sees the sheer terror in her eyes, he decides to let itslide. He squeezes her hand in reassurance. The comfort doesn’t last long as aclown (again, predicatable) begins to chase them down the row. Clarke grips hishand even tighter and drags him along with her as she practically sprints away.By the end of the row, she’s out of breath, but makes no effort to let go.

“Afraid of clowns?” he asks smugly. She sticks her tongueout at him in response. It’s cute, he decides. There isn’t much light in themaze, though they’ve come to the next part which happens to be a janky barn they’resupposed to enter (chainsaw guy is next, for sure). But in the faint light, hetries to get a good look at her. She’s the same age as Monty, making her onlyslightly younger than him. She’s definitely attractive, with her sharp eyes andlong hair. Great chest, too. But there’s also something spunky about her – he cantell in the way she cusses like a sailor and rooms with a guy out of spitetowards a school. She says things like “gender neutral names” and has strangeself-awareness of her own attractiveness.

“We going in, or what?” Miller hisses from behind him and hehadn’t even realized they’d been standing there that long. He pushes the dooropen and they enter. It’s full of clanking weapons and there’s a long tablesitting in the middle. They hear a scream and Clarke is once again glued to hisarm. He can feel her nails digging into his jacket and he shakes his head.

The barn is full of multiple stages, one guy pretending tomaim another person, fake blood spewing everywhere and awful screaming. Thereare four different jump scares, people sticking their head out of holes orjumping in front of them with fake intestines falling out of their stomach.When they reach the otherside of the barn, he hears the rumbling of a chainsaw.It revs from behind them and of course, they’re running again. He follows themand they come to a fork in the maze. They take the left and Clarke is onceagain dragging him along. He lets it happen – he’d hate for her to get stuck byherself.

The chainsaw fades into the background and the mazestretches before them in eerie silence.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes quickly, “I’m sure you didn’tcome just to have your arm pulled out of socket by me.”

“You are surprisingly strong,” he admits. She is. Hisfingers might actually be bruised by the end of it. Totally worth it, though.He is never opposed to having a beautiful girl hang all over him. Wait,beautiful? He doesn’t call people beautiful. Attractive, yes. Hot, even.Beautiful? Shit.

“Where did Monty and Miller go?” she glances behind them andsure enough, his friend is nowhere to be found.

“They probably went right,” he concludes. The fork in themaze is probably meant to separate groups. Make things a little scarier.

“I guess we’ll see them at the end,” she says and theycontinue forward. He offers his hand and she hesitates briefly and he thinksmaybe he’s overstepping his boundaries, but she takes it with a small smile.

“Monty really likes your friend,” she tells him, and heassumes she’s trying to make small talk to silence the paranoia. Something isbound to jump out at them. Better to be distracted and scared rather thanprepared for it and still scared.

“Miller likes him too,” Bellamy smiles, “I’ve never seen himact like that with anyone. Hell, not even me.”

“You all used to date?”

Shit. Maybe not the best thing to tell Monty’s friend. Shemight think he’s jealous or something.

“Oh, uh…” he thinks on it for a moment, “Yeah. Briefly. Wayback in early college. Like Freshman year and I wouldn’t really even call itdating.”

“What would you call it?”

“Shit, I don’t know. Friends with benefits? Figuring out ifI was into guys. Or girls. Or whatever. Which, it’s both. I did learn that.”

She nods thoughtfully, “Yeah, me too.”

Well, fuck. Just when he thinks she can’t get anymoreattractive. The moment doesn’t last long. It’s rudly interrupted by somejackass wearing knock-off Freddy Kruger gloves. The long claws wrap aroundClarke’s arm (somewhere along the years of his avoidance in these things,touching people became allowed, which, what the fuck?). She yelps but ratherthan run or wrap herself around his arm, she rears back and smack the costumedemployee across the face. She wasn’t fucking kidding, holy shit.

“What the fuck?” the guy yells as he stumbles back. Shepulls both hands to her mouth in shock. He can’t hold in his laughter andnearly doubles over.

“I’m so sorry!” she apologizes, “I didn’t know you all couldtouch us. I wasn’t expecting…I…shit I’m sorry!”

“There’s a sign that says it out front!” Freddy Krugerargues back, “Jesus.”

Bellamy does his best to sober up and grabs Clarke’s freehand to pull her away, “The mask probably broke the contact. You’ll be fine.Make the signs bigger.”

In her defense, he hadn’t read the sign either. He pulls heraway and can’t seem to stop laughing about it. She shoves his chest playfully.

“It’s not funny!” she hisses, though he can tell she’s doingher best not to laugh either.

“That was a nice hit,” he compliments, “You really put yourwhole body into it.”

“I took a self-defense class last semester,” she finallycracks a smile, “The beauty of being close to graduation. Easy, bullshitclasses.”

It’s honestly hard to focus on anything else at this point.The people chasing them don’t really have the same effect, and even Clarkeseems unfazed by it all. They reach the end about ten minutes after theincident and double back around to the front to meet up with Monty and Miller.They aren’t there so he assumes they haven’t come out yet.

“Thanks for letting me hang all over you,” she leans backagainst the railing that seperates the parking lot from the line, “I hope Ididn’t hurt you.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he says, “Maybe check in withFreddy tomorrow.”

“I can’t believe I did that,” she says incredulously, “Itold Monty this was a bad idea but he insisted.”

Bellamy watches her for a moment, admires the curve of herlip and the mischievous look in her eye, like she could wreak havoc at anymoment while simultaneously saving the world. He has a suspicion that maybethis was purposeful. That maybe Monty and Miller knew what they were doing whenthey asked them to come here. Bellamy hates haunted houses and thinks they’relame. Clarke is terrified of them. And yet they’re the only two to show up. Hethinks about the way Miller greeted Monty with a kiss, something he would dowith someone he was dating and comfortable dating at that.  That motherfucker set him up.

He wonders for a moment if Clarke figured it out, but itseems like she honestly thinks her other friends just didn’t show up and Montyreally wanted her to come for moral support. He can’t say he’s really that madabout it anymore. She’s funny. She’s cute. She punches Freddy Kruger’s in theface. Mark him down as gone because this girl, well, he can tell she’ssomething special.

“Where the hell are they?” Clarke asks, bringing him fromhis realization. His phone buzzes at the same time.

Miller: I’m taking Monty to a late dinner. Can you giveClarke a ride home?

Miller: I’d ask if that’s weird, but you all were makinggoogly eyes at each other the whole night.

Miller: Also, you’re fucking welcome. I don’t owe youANYTHING

Bellamy chuckles and slips his phone back into his pocket, “Well,our friends ditched us for a more private date. I can take you home if youwant?”

He hopes it’s not weird for her. After all they’repractically strangers.

“Or you could take me to dinner?” she offers, and her eyesare full of that same mischievous sparkle, “I mean, if you’re going to check me out the least you can do is buy me food.”

Yeah, he’s a fucking goner.

“I’d love to.”

[awed-frog]

Hi! I've just gotten back into the fandom after a few years break. I've watched SPN since it aired in 2005, but I've left four times, each time for at least a year, because I keep feeling like we're being queerbaited w/Destiel and it really upsets me. In short, I feel like investing so much time, and so many emotions, into this pairing is a waste of time because it will only leave me disappointed in the end. So my question for you is, what keeps you positive enough about this pairing to stay?

Hey, sorry for getting back to you so late. I wrote and erased several answers to this, because, I don’t know, on some days I was trying to be clever and go all meta-stuff but it always sounded pretentious and stupid, and then on other days I felt dramatic and angry and got all upset and it would generally read as too much or not nearly enough, so. And today I really think I left this unanswered for way too long and that if you asked me, then you wanted my opinion on the matter and this is what I should be trying to do - just to say what i think, without too many frills.

So, first of all - I’m a weird person, and sometimes I get too worked up about stuff, and I obsess a lot, and thank God I’ve got people in my life who keep me grounded and remind me about what really matters. And the truth is, Supernatural doesn’t. It’s a good show, and we all love it, and sure, like all popular works of fiction it probably changed someone’s mind and had an impact on someone’s life, but at the end of the day, you come first. As I said, I had periods in my life where I was putting too much energy on the wrong things, and a TV show is definitely the wrong thing, especially if it leaves you frustrated and upset and angry. I say this with a lot of respect, because I know we all love Supernatural and everything, but let’s be honest - it’s a TV show. It’s not real. If it makes you cry for the wrong reasons, get away from it and good riddance. What truly matters in this life is to find a way to love yourself and to be there for other people - to be kind, and to be strong, and to maybe make our world a little better. So if a story helps you do that, embrace it; and if it doesn’t, let it go. It’s just a story.

For me, personally, I had a very emotional time with Destiel (you can read about it here), because I felt cheated and let down and pretty much what you describe - I knew I’d invested so much of myself in the show, and that they’d let me down for stupid reasons. And it was really bleak for a while, so I get where you’re coming from. Back in S9, I spent many days feeling listless and depressed, and quite a few nights ranting and raging and even crying about it, and when I snapped out of it I realized that sure, they were being cunts and cheaters but there was something wrong with me, as well - because, as I just told you, it’s just a show, and it shouldn’t have dominated my feelings in such a way. So I tried to be objective and rational and I thought about it and I realized it was a bunch of things - I was stressed in school, and my grandparents were sick - all I’d wanted was to take a big step back from reality and as a result I’d fallen too deep into the show and that’s why when it let me down, it really felt like a physical blow. And since not getting lost in fiction, my own or other people’s, is not an option for me, I’m learning to deal with real life stuff better so I can tell apart what really matters from what doesn’t. I know I’ve made some progress there because I was really invested in Sherlock and Johnlock, and yet after the series finale I was - normal. I was upset and angry, of course, because it sucked balls, but it didn’t ruin my whole week or anything. My general mood was more a sort of, It’s not real and I can’t change it, so fuck them. 

(I think this is what happens with everything, by the way - most sport fans get so invested in their teams because it’s a sort of victory by proxy and it compensates for those things that are wrong in their lives. So, really - I don’t know you, and I don’t want to tell anyone how they should live their lives, but if this kind of ‘external’ things such as TV shows and movies make you so unhappy, my advice is to get to know yourself and understand why you feel that way. If there is something in your own life you’re not dealing with, the best thing is really to try and be brave and go at it head-on, because life is unfair and bad feelings and bad situations - that’s not something that goes away on its own. And it’s your life - you deserve to live it fully.)

So now - now there are shows I watch because I think they’re objectively outstanding, like Westworld, and there are shows I watch as a guilty pleasure and I’m mostly rolling my eyes at the screen but who knows, maybe it’s healthy to cry once a week so whatever (yeah, I’m a Grey’s Anatomy aficionado), and then there’s Supernatural, which is neither. I guess the reason I keep watching is because most of it is well-written, even if I dislike the fact they clearly have no idea as to where they’re going and what the whole thing even means, and I keep watching because I love the characters, and I keep watching because I met a lot of nice people in the fandom and writing about the show is helping me to get better as a writer (I think). The truth is, I’m an unusual Destiel shipper (if there’s such thing as a regular Destiel shipper, that is), because I’m not that interested in romance and even representation - well, it’s very important and stories should be more inclusive, but a good story can work even without being PC, in my opinion (take Reservoir Dogs, for instance). So what I resent the most in this situation is that they got me to care - they clearly wrote the story one way - and then they made me feel like there was something wrong with me for seeing what I was seeing. This is textbook abusive behaviour, and the fact it was targeted directly at the gay community (because, on the whole, they’re more likely to pick up on subtextual clues about sexuality) made it even more horrifying and wrong. 

That said, I don’t think there was a malicious intent there. I’m sure they knew what they were doing, because that’s their job, after all, but they all seem to be pretty decent people, so it’s not clear if they did not realize how significant a love story between Dean and Cas would be, or how attentive their own fandom was - I simply don’t know. Maybe they were going for some old-fashioned ‘alas, that it shall never be’ nonsense - back in the day, it happened very often that you were left with the feeling of things unsaid and you never knew if you were right or not, and also you mostly forgot about it because real-time fangirling over stuff wasn’t a thing. In a way, that’s also what happened with Sherlock, which became a worldwide phenomenon because of the fandom, something Moffat and Gatiss acknowledged without never realizing, apparently, the full implications of.

I think that, to an extent, we’ve always lived in a world of lies and deceit, and that’s just human nature; but as far as I can tell, the spreading of capitalism and consumer culture, on the one hand, and that of democratic societies, on the other, elevated the importance of honesty to a whole other plane. Corporations lie to us as a matter of fact - all advertisement is a lie, after all - and politicians also mostly lie, both to us and to themselves. This was always bound to have disastrous consequences, which we are now starting to witness. For this reason, mostly, I think it’s more important than ever that artists are honest about the stories they tell - they can talk about anything, of course, and decide which kind of story they want to create, but they should stay true to it. I sometimes feel that, like other important concepts, such as freedom of expression, the idea that a story is its reader’s, and not its creator’s, is sometimes perverted beyond recognition. To say that the story belongs to its readers means that we all come to the story with our own experiences, and that we all get from it what we choose to get, to some extent; this is, perhaps, some form of cognitive bias (we see the world as we are, and not as it is: that sort of thing), and a good writer will create a story that is deep enough all of us can recognize ourselves in a part of it. But some modern creators, like current politicians, intend the concept in a very different way. Their method is to deliberately appeal to everyone in order to get money or votes, and they forget, or pretend to ignore, that in so doing they are bound to deceive a significant part of those who believed in them. Just as the centrism in politics is an illusion, a story which tries to make everyone happy is plain dishonest. When push comes to shove, Dean and Cas are either in love or they aren’t, and it’s not my job as a viewer to guess what they really feel - it’s the show’s creators job to tell me.

So, you know - you ask how I stay positive enough to keep watching the show - it sounds weird, since I write metas every week and I write Destiel fanfiction and everything, but personally, I’m trying not to think about Destiel at all. For me, it is real, in the sense that I still see it in the story, but I think that for a variety of reasons, there will be no steady love stories on Supernatural until the very last season. My hope is that, since a convincing gay story is harder to write than a straight one (because, apparently, many people are still unaware of the fact gay people are a thing at all), the Destiel subtext will get stronger quite soon(ish) if Destiel is indeed endgame. I mean, you see it very clearly from that whole Saileen business - in Sam’s case, two episodes are plenty enough to build a believable love story and make us root for Sam and Eileen and daydream about their darling little house and their fluffy future dogs, but, again, when it comes to gay couples - even if Dean and Cas do get together in the very last episode or something, you need to build that up quite openly and not too late, or it will feel forced to a casual viewer. As I said, I try not to think too much about it because there are a lot of ifs, but - if Supernatural has an end date in sight, if this is a coming of age narrative and not a tragedy, if nothing messy happens IRL - then I think that yes, we still have a chance for Destiel to happen textually. That dreadful Sherlock ending, after all, and mostly the outraged and angry response from both critics and the fandom, should serve as a warning to Dabb and his team: planning to go big and then not going big doesn’t endear you to anyone, because people’s hearts are wild, unpredictable, irrational and beautiful things, and even Hotelling’s law has its limits.